#uh shit I'll be mad at this in the future

[princesscolumbia]

Star Trek Captains, A Review and Categorization

Star Trek is a show about a Neo-military organization that has rank structures, ships, and fights wars, so naturally there's plenty of captains to talk about, but for this post I'll be highlighting specifically the main cast captains, in something resembling chronological order. (But, I mean, this is Star Trek, so even that's kinda up in the air)

Captain Archer

That Guy who had to hand crank the warp engine up-hill both ways in the blinding ion storm. We don't need no stinkin' Prime Directive! Remember The Alamo Pearl Harbor 9/11 Florida! But...uh, maybe don't be dicks about it, not everyone who looks like the ones responsible for that thing we're never going to forget actually wants us dead. Got transformed into an alien, got possessed by another alien, slept with a couple more. Never got pregnant, though (that was his chief engineer)

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Wars started: 0

Wars ended: 3

Times on screen naked: 1

Nazi facilities destroyed: 1

Category: Grampa

Captain Pike

Midlife crisis? What midlife crisis? Everything's fiiiiine. Now eat something, it'll make you feel better. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. Number One, don't tell me I can't adopt more kids, I don't care that they're from the future they're mine now. Besides, we've already got a whole ship-full, what's two more?

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 2

Violations of the Temporal Prime Directive: -3 (yes, it's an irrational number, we're talking time travel, people!)

Musical Numbers Participated While On Duty: 3

Hair: Really Great

Category: Dad (or DILF if you swing that way)

Captain Georgiou

You will be captain when you can snatch the stone from my hand.

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Protege's who required a redemption arc: 1

Awesomeness: Transcendent

Category: Gone too soon, also, MILF who can kick your ass

(Edit: Courtesy of @cheer-me-up-scotty for pointing out an oversite on my part)

Captain Burnham

Cosplays as a Vulcan 'cause she's jealous of her adoptive brother. Accurately called an audience-stand-in-self-insert-mary-sue (shut up, Star Trek fandom invented the Mary Sue, it was a term coined by women fans, so shut up!), but by season 2 she actually gets interesting.

Scorecard

Mommy Issues: Has a subscription

Moms: 4

PTSD inducing life events: Like, all of them

Ships commanded: 3

Mutinies led failed: 1

Category: That One Cousin who married surprisingly well and made something of herself in spite of all expectations

Captain Kirk

Golden retriever energy, would be the Useless Bisexual Himbo if he didn't have so much game. Probably smarter than he lets on. Polyamory King and certified Alien Fucker. Boyfriend is a half-space-elf, main sometimes-girlfriend will go on to create the deadliest super-weapon ever built by humans by accident.

Scorecard

Number of Klingon Bounties on his head: [CLASSIFIED]

Number of women he's slept with: [CLASSIFIED]

Nazi regimes toppled: 1

Number of times he should have had a test that determines if you can stick your dick in it that got named after an upstart from that other science fiction show instead: 1

Ships Commanded: 3

Ships He's Stolen: 3

Category: Slut(affectionate)

Captain Kirk (the other one)

Golden Retriever that got left behind when his family moved away and had to lead a ragtag team of a crotchety older dog and a wet cat on a journey...

No, wait, hold on...

Right! That's the one!

Scorecard

Times he should have been kicked out of Starfleet: At least 4

Ships commanded: 3

Ground transport destroyed: 2 (that we know of)

Number of middle fingers given to Admiralty: 2

Category: Bad Boy

Captain Picard

You know that guy who you see going to the library all the time and always seems to have his nose in a book and always seems to be telling people off for breaking the rules and doing dangerous shit? You'd never know it but he used to be That Guy in college who got, like, ALL the girls and is going to be the Hot Grampa that you don't know how he has that much game, but he got it.

Scorecard

Ships lost in the line of duty: 2

Number of times he married and then estranged his best friend's wife who named their son after her dead first husband: 1

Number of toxic omnipotent and omniscient boyfriends who are obsessed with him and spends their spare time playing with ponies: 1

Category: Inexplicable Sexyman

Captain Badass Sisko

The Cool Dad with baggage. He's got game, but he's got priorities as well, and DON'T mess with his son or you won't even exist anymore to regret it. BLM before it was cool. Led a civil rights riot two centuries before he was born. Space Jesus who can make the best jambalaya you've ever had. Fought and won a war, punched a god, then became one.

Scorecard

Civilizations saved: 4

Native Cultures Treated With the Respect They Deserve: Many

Times He Bent the Rules so his CMO could get some nookie from a Cardasian spy plain, simple tailor: The counter broke

Successful black-ops assassinations completed: 1

Category: BAMF

Captain Janeway

THE single most decorated captain in Starfleet history. Successfully dropped the hammer on dozens of petty tyrants, oppressive regimes, roaming mass murderers, and the Borg. What Prime Directive? Your Mom. Also, probably slept with your mom, that's how much she is the Domme-est of Dommes. She told the Borg to use the safe word...and they DID!

Scorecard

Borg Daughters: 1

Times she told the Borg to step off: 3 (or 4...or 5? Honestly, with the time travel shenanigans it's hard to know for sure)

Nazis she's personally shot: 1

Category: Mistress, but it's "Ma'am" to you

Captain Freeman

She's angry AND disappointed! She's just as good as all the other captains in the fleet, and the good ones know it, but all the rest? They see "cali class" and assume all they're good for is the jobs nobody else wants. But jokes on them, because thanks to that attitude her crew are the flippin' Jacks and Jills of all trades and are more capable of fixing AND fucking AND "fucking" shit up than damn near anyone else!

Scorecard

Times the ship has nearly been destroyed but she and her crew got through it: ...uh...how many episodes are there? And then there's the times that get casual mentions that we never get the details on!

Daughters who should probably be captains now if they were at least a LITTLE more respectful and didn't actively try to piss off Admirals: 1

Times the Cerritos has had to be rebuilt to the point it might as well be called "The Ship of Cerritos Problem": At least 4

Category: Your mom...get back here, I'M NOT DONE TALKING TO YOU!

Captain R'El

Cinnamon Roll, just let m'boy into Starfleet! He just wants a home and a family! I'd like to see full-grown captains who can keep up with half of what this Best Boy is capable of!

Scorecard

Number of species his genetic code is made up of: All of 'em. Even the GODDAMN Q!

Number of Janeways he impressed the socks off of: 2

Quality of his Janeway impression: Bad

Number of Ferengi he out-Ferengi'd: 1

Nazis punched: Give him time...

Category: Teenage Boy Who's NOT GOING THROUGH A PHASE, MOM!

Should I do Captains Shaw and Seven? How about Alternate Timeline Tripp or Future Chakotay? (Going too far down that rabbit hole will eventually lead to Imperial Kirk and Captain Spock from the movies.) Let me know in the comments.

Next Post in this series

[baronessvonglitter]

Cherry, Cherry 🍒 Chapter 6 🍒

"Daddy Issues & Dads With Issues"

pre-outbreak! AU!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Word count: 1,906

Summary: after Joel's admission, the following day is rife with possibility, and a path is set for the future. (Basically a breather chapter)

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, talk of reader 'needing to get laid' (said by friend at work), talk of side character having hooked up with a teacher when she was presumably underage, mutual pining, finding out Joel was your dad's best friend (stumbling into dbf!Joel territory, but it's glossed over in this chapter), Joel basically agrees to be your first, age gap (reader is 18, Joel is 35), reader's race not specified but she is tomboyish, story takes place in summer 2003, no outbreak, no use of y/n

Series Masterlist

You wake up feeling like shit.

Your head hurts, your stomach hurts, your mouth feels like cotton. But then you remember the very best part of the night.. the end of it. You made out with Joel Miller. And that is the thought that puts a big silly grin on your face and turns those aches in your gut to fluttery little butterflies. At least momentarily.

You're stuck with the late shift at work, for which you are only mildly thankful. You have time to try to sleep off the effects of the party last night. But then you get a call which jolts you awake. It's Sarah.

"Are you okay?" her whispered, worried voice comes over the line.

"Yeah, not too bad. Kinda feel sick. What about you?" Closing your eyes you lay back on your bed. And then a terrible thought occurs to you. Does she know?

"I'm okay too. My dad was pretty pissed, but not as much as I thought he'd be. He seemed to have calmed down once he got in. But I'm still grounded. Was he pretty mad at you?"

You remember Joel's hands on you, how his tongue devoured your mouth, the thrust of his hips into yours, mimicking what you both really wanted in that moment.

"Uh, I don't think he's mad.. per se.." you answer.

"Yeah, you're not his daughter, he can't ground you," you hear the sarcasm in her voice and you laugh a little.

"I feel bad that you're grounded, even though you shouldn't have come along in the first place you little twerp," you tease her. "Listen, I have to work today but I'll bring you a frappuccino since you won't be able to leave your house until school starts."

Sarah giggles. "It's the least you could do."

You feel somewhat better when you finally get to work, and of course Hailey's there, commenting on your arrival. "Wow.. you look like shit."

You give her a deadpan stare. "Thanks. I feel like shit." You tie on your apron and get to work.

"Sorry.. about the cops busting the party," Hailey helps you start washing dishes at the sink. She looks fresh as a daisy, and you know you look like a monster compared to her. "Do you want to come by tonight? It's gonna be just a few of us. I could introduce you to some guys.." she nudges you and you fight to not roll your eyes. "Come on, you're young, you're usually hot." (This earns Hailey a playful shoulder shove from you.) "To put it mildly you need to get laid before college starts."

You sigh. Going out into the world alone you never imagined there would be such a strong emphasis on sex. And Hailey's waiting on your response.

"I can't tonight."

"Why? Got a date? I knew it! Someone from my party?"

There's no point in telling the truth. It's much easier to just lie to her. "Yeah," you say, hoping that if you just think of Joel you'll blush a little bit.

"I knew it! Well good luck tonight," she gives you a playful nudge.

You smile but remain quiet as you slowly wash, deep in thought. "Hailey, can I ask you something? Like, personal?"

"Of course," she shrugs.

"Have you ever been with anyone.. older? Like way older?"

Hailey's eyes grow wide. "How much older?"

This time you blush for real, keeping your head down to hide it. "Um, let's say.. ten years older?"

She smirks. "Once. He was a sub for my World History class."

"Oh.." you hide your look of shock. "What was it like?"

She looks up, a look on her face like she's trying to remember a state capitol instead of a former lover. "It was fine. Rushed. I think for him it was the thrill of being with someone younger."

You absorb her answer. Your situation is very different and for that you are glad. "On that note, have you ever been with someone older than that? For instance.. twenty years older?" This is the question you really mean to ask, but you let her think it's purely hypothetical.

"Twenty years older? No.. that's like sleeping with someone my father's age." Hailey's nose wrinkles in disgust.

"Yeah, no, you're right," you say quickly, not wanting to be under suspicion. "But in general, older guys are.. like, it's not weird?"

"Not really. It can be really hot. Most guys know what to do by a certain age and they love to teach what they know. Well. not most guys. Some guys," she amends her statement. "So what's up? You got the hots for an older guy? Little Miss Daddy Issues?" Hailey giggles.

"Yup. Got a date with your dad, bitch," you say jokingly, finishing up and giving Hailey's ponytail a little tug.

Driving home after work you have Sarah's drink in your cupholder. A quick glance at the Miller's driveway shows that Joel's not there, or at least his truck isn't. You're both relieved and sorry to miss him. You park at home and make the short walk to their house. The sky is already turning a pale purple from rose and gold. Maybe a dip in the pool is exactly what you need tonight.

Sarah greets you at the door, looking bored then she lights up when she sees you with her drink. "You're a lifesaver," she says.

A truck pulls up in the driveway and you turn to see it's Joel. Your stomach flips upside down and you tell Sarah bye, but when you start to leave you freeze as Joel gets out of his truck. "I'm glad you're here. I've been meanin' to talk to ya." He approaches you.

You gulp. "Oh, okay."

"About last night.." he looks around. "Can we talk in private?"

You remember what passed between you the last time you were in private. "Are you sure we should?"

He exhales but keeps his composure. "I wanted to say I'm sorry for my words and my actions yesterday. I had no right to say or do those things." He takes a closer look at you. "You do.. remember, right?"

"Yeah," you reply, your face scarlet.

He blushes in turn. "It was wrong, and I hope that you can forgive me."

Your stomach sinks and you feel ridiculous for having entertained any notion that he could possibly want you or even like you.

"It's fine," you manage a smile. "Forgiven and forgotten."

You turn to leave and he calls your name, lightly gripping your arm. You realize how much the sound of your name on his lips entices you, and even more so how such a small touch has such huge meaning for you. You turn to him and for the first time you see something like affliction in his eyes. Your heart turns over in your chest.

"I don't really get what's stopping you," you tell him quietly. "You say you like me, next thing you turn me away. Do you think I'm afraid of you? Because I'm not." You remove his hand from your arm and hold it in your own.

You can see from the rise and fall of Joel's chest that his pulse is quickening. He casts a nervous glance at the house, at the yards of each house around you, and you get it. He's worried about what other people think. And you can't really blame him.

"I'm not a child, Joel. And I don't care what anyone thinks. People never pay as much attention as you believe they do." He hasn't released your hand and you take that as a good sign.

"There's a lot you don't understand, sweetheart." His voice is low, gruff, yet soothing. He gently strokes the pad of his thumb against your hand.

"Then tell me. Let me be the one to judge if I can understand or not."

He shifts uneasily from one foot to the other, and slowly releases your hand. "Your dad and I were friends growin' up, through high school. Best friends, I s'pose. We drifted away after he got your mom pregnant, right before graduation. I knew about you before you were even born." His fixes his gaze on you, as if to merge the idea of you with the person you have actually become. "Does that bother you? Hell, I'm your dad's age. And by the way it pisses me off to hear he just ran off on you and your mom. That fact has been boilin' in my chest ever since you told me." He sighs and leans against the bumper of his truck, arms crossed. "Sweetheart, you oughta find someone your own age. You deserve that."

"I don't want someone else," you say stubbornly. "Do you want someone else?"

He's quiet so long that you worry you won't get an answer. But then he says, "No."

Your heart vibrates in your chest as you get closer to him, hoping he'll let his guard down but not willing to pressure him.

A little smile graces his lips. "Sweetheart, if you come any closer I can't guarantee I won't kiss ya."

"You want to kiss me, you just won't." It's half-challenge, half-assumption.

"Is that some reverse psychology?" Joel smirks.

"Is it working?" you counter.

He swipes a hand through his hair and you want so badly to do that too. He says your name under his breath, three times, chuckling to himself. "You're gonna be a handful, ain't ya?" The way he smiles at you makes you feel like you're on fire.

"You sayin' you can't handle me?" you playfully mimic his accent, hands on your hips, as a smile lights up your face, making Joel laugh. You love the sound of it.

"I think I wouldn't mind tryin'," and even though he's smiling you notice the slow ogling he gives you.

The coming dusk has tinted the entire world with a lavender light, giving a dreamlike touch to you and to him. And it definitely feels like a dream when you go into his arms and they wrap around you, and he presses his lips to the top of your head. "Don't think you're off the hook yet for takin' Sarah to that party," he mumbles.

You start to feel rebuffed but you pull away slightly to see that playful little smirk on his handsome face. "In that case maybe I should be punished," you offer.

He exhales quickly and presses you close to him, hands on your hips. "You're temptin' me to do just that, sweetheart."

You're in his arms, right where you want to be. "Did you mean what you said last night? About.. being with me?" Though you've both admitted how you feel, you still can't bring yourself to use the verbiage Joel used.

He doesn't even blush, doesn't even bat an eye. "I do mean it. Is that somethin' you want?" He looks at you intently.

"Yes," you say without hesitation, and he trembles with emotion before kissing you. This time he takes his time with you, gently pressing his lips to yours, his hand gently cupping your face. Even his tongue is gentle, teasing, igniting a slow burn in the deepest part of you.

Afterwards, he holds you again, gently stroking your back. "So. Your first, huh?"

Your head on his shoulder, you nod, heart jumping when you realize where his thoughts are.

"I'd be honored, sweetheart.. "

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dividers by @saradika-graphics & @firefly-graphics

[dootznbootz]

Hello. I honestly don't know how to prep this but uh, why do I feel like MM's Circe had so much potential? Like, MM did the lazy thing that is "making Circe's life a living shit show because that's the only way her actions would be justified" which... Is the annoying thing most modern interpretations do.

One good example would actually be EPIC: The musical. But in EPIC it only works because Circe isn't exactly a vocal point. And Circe having a motive plays into a pretty big theme of the show (Specifically in the song "Monster" where Odysseus is basically just... Contemplating everything)

But when you have 400 paged book, focusing around Circe, you have so much potential to focus more on the godly elements of these people. Someone else has said this before but ama say it too. The Greek gods had REASONS for acting the way they did. Zeus misused his power, that's what a king does. Artemis's wrath was unmatched when you wronged her, that's how nature is. Hades took a young girl from her mother, that's what death does.

And I'd like to add some of my own.

Aphrodite is a completely morally gray character, that's how love can be, it can go againts you sometimes. Dionysus was all over the place, sometimes good sometimes terrible, that's what madness is. Hermes is swift and a trickster because that's what people we deem 'messengers' can be like, via rumours.

When you notice these complexities to the characters, you start to realize. Circe misused her magic on innocent people for entertainment, that's what black/evil magic does. But at the same time, she helped Odysseus. Because even evil magic, or the 'worst possibilities' can be useful sometimes.

I think it is SUCH a missed opportunity MM didn't focus more on this aspect. Because that would've made for such an interesting story an unique story. Most of these modern retellings try to push modern ideologies on ancient works, which doesn't work. No retelling tries to tell these stories in a ancient Greek perspective (which is actually fairly easy you just have to do your research)

And with an author as skilled as MM is, I'm sure she could do it. But honestly, I don't think her writing is good in the perspective of Greek mythology. She could probably do a great modern story but let's face it, that wouldn't get as much money.

A story focusing around a goddess, and what it means to be a divine personification of nature and a concept, not to you but to the humans you exist for.You can really focus a lot on that and it could be such an interesting story.

All of these writers to me just seem like they're exploiting Greek mythology, which bugs me. If miller wanted to tell these stories, she would've told THE stories with her own twist. Not completely change them to the point they lose their charm.

If miller couldn't do that, if she wanted to write a complex feminist character she wouldn't have chosen Circe.

Something I really admire in your work is how you characterize these guys. It's obvious you're extremely passionate. I also love how you give Penelope clear flaws. You don't have to mortify everyone else to make her 'stand out' or to be 'more likable'. I really love your fic and I'm wishing you nothing but success in the future! :D

Anyways, enough about MM's book.

What do you think is one of Penelope's favorite little quirks od Odysseus', like something he does she finds really cute? :)

I hope you find pretty flowers today and get a sweet for free, dear anon. This ask made me so happy as it's like, perfect. As you gave a Circe rant that will be fun to dissect but also gave me a silly lil question for me to feast on and for the balance and the silly and I love it. You also sent it at the perfect time as I was getting a wee bit sad about how women from Greek Mythology get treated by retellings and fandoms. This really cheered me up 🩵

And thank you so much for the sweet compliment! It means so much to me that you love my silly lil guys as I love sharing them! And don't worry I am working on stuff! ;~; I know I'm taking a while but I am!

I'll do the cute stuff Penelope loves about Odysseus :P

(I do have them "mirror" each other a lot with "like-minded" so they often have SOME similar traits in some ways that both find endearing about the other. (both love watching the other brainstorm/think/swindle/winning/etc., both love (and are sometimes annoyed by) their stubbornness.) Stuff like that :D Also in general. Thank you, Anon. You've made me realize I've been going a wee bit too crazy with Penelope and kind of forgot about Odysseus.

1.) This is a past post that goes into it more but she just adores his freckles. She has counted them and memorized them. She's going to kiss every single one. He mostly has them on his face and shoulders but they are peppered a lil everywhere (he gets it from his mama). She uses the freckle pattern he has across his nose as "stars" for her tapestries.

Rando: Hey, that's not how the stars are mapped. Penelope: They're my stars, asshole >:(

She has to do a "recount" when he returns as some of his "stars" are covered by scars now :')

2.) She loves his hair and how well-groomed he usually is. He also is a bit like a cat in how he loves being pampered. (lil post about that) She loves scratching at his scalp and at the tiny hairs that are at the back of the neck. She loves the pretty grays he has when he returns as well :') She really loved how he looked without and with a beard. (It doesn't end up growing too long anyway)

3.) He's very warm. She's not really affected by temperature too much (she's used to freezing rivers and she herself is naturally cold. Her average temperature is colder than the average person. She only really has to worry about "drying up".) she loves his warmth. She wraps herself up in blankets while he's gone despite not really needing them sometimes as...she misses her furnace. (also his snoring) He also wraps himself in her blankets while away but sadly wakes up to them tossed about because he gets too hot. He needs his lil iceblock wife.

4.) She just adores his big laugh. The laughing so hard you cry one. Hearing it was kind of a "...Okay, I wanna hear that again." for her.

5.) He tends to bite his lip. Sometimes it's endearing and hot but he also will often rip at them. She tries to help him with this habit by distracting with kisses...Though with her teeth, it doesn't always help. Fun fact: For their first kiss on the lips, they were so stupid excited that he knicked himself on her teeth. She felt awful but he just kissed her again. It was bloody and bad but they were so happy. His bad habit returns when he's away because he's not getting his kisses 😔

6.) He whistles while he whittles often.

7.) So ancient Greece had yo-yos (probably in Odyssey but I'm getting silly with it)...and Odysseus is a nerd who WILL do tricks with them. (they can be made with wood and string so... odypen lol) He has fun trying to show other people how to do it too. It's a nice fidget. (modern day he would have definitely been that guy with that rubix cube lol)

8.) So Penelope is better at getting more for less, (lowering prices) and Odysseus is better at giving less for more. (selling shit for good things) They both can do it but they have their strengths.

9.) He got big eyebrows and with his weird "face shifting" thing he inherited from Autolycus, he can make a lot of silly faces.

10.) He tends to make sandcastles whenever he waits for her at the banks of rivers.

11.) He's a "heavy stepper" when he's not sneaking. It's not because of his scar. He just likes walking like that. :) Not so much "stompy" but she finds it cute that she knows it's him coming based on the footsteps she hears.

Some things that annoy her >:3

She's incredibly ticklish and he's not so much and he keeps doing it. STOP IT >:(

So she's smaller than him in mine and in general, he loves draping himself across her (he's like a cat remember?). Most of the time she loves that weight as she loves him and he's a warm weighted blanket. Though while she's strong, he'll sometimes be a brat and put so much of his weight on her just to mes with her. (mostly when they're young and dumb. not so much after he returns)

(Not this big of a size difference ofc but you know >:) )

Those are some and I have more rattling around in my head but I wanna finish this ask and I gotta do some shit :')

Thank you again, Anon. This made me happy <3

[ffeelann]

HELLO THERE! 👋

Can you do a fluff rindou fic??? Where the reader pulls out a cheating prank on him? Thank you!!! I love your stories!!!! 💓

a/n: omg ty so much😭😭😭😭✨✨✨ uni is taking some time but I LOVE TAKING REQUESTS It makes me Happy yay. Btw I was súper sad while writing this but I ended up feeling better so💋THANK YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE.

Commissions and tips open too!!!

Warning: cheating prank(?, treaths but just a little, fluff, gn reader bc i'm used to it now.

—Ah, no. I wouldn't like to have you there— Rindou explained. He was, in fact, worried about you. He would have never wanted you to get hurt into some...thing? Some situation he would never love to put into words in your company.

But, sometimes, you could forget how he was when he first met you and, of course, how he was when he attracted you first.

—Uh, sure. He said he'd want me anywhere, anytime— you said, taking away your jacket and placing it into the closet.

It was just a tiny little immature comment. Everyone has them. Just a little joke you act out because it would suit the non existent script wonderfully.

But he was not answering.

He would have.

—what? Why do you stare like that?

—the fuck is 'he'?

—who?

—the one's who does wants you...?

—oh, so you don't want nor like me? Okay...

Rindou placed his hand on his face, hiding himself from the judgement of the moment. You knew you were just playing, but apparently he didn't.

He usually did, though. But... maybe those things he wanted to protect you from were... real stuff you needed to be protected from. Maybe that was making him stressed.

—y/n...

All Rindou could feel and see was his hand, until you took it away from his face to kiss his fingers and sit on his lap just to hug him more comfortably.

—It's a joke, it's a joke. There is no he. You're him.

He kissed your neck, burying his face on your shoulder.

—I hate you sometimes...— he said, caressing your back trought your shirt. You were always... you. And he could never be mad at someone who was just like you.

—no you don't, i'm funny funny.

—no I don't. And, by the way, funny the way I'd beat the shit out of...— "me?" You said, accentuating the jokingly tone without doing a single move. He would never touch a single hair of yours— y/n...

—I know, I know. I'll stop being funny funny.

You kissed his chin softly.

—don't. You can be funny funny. If someone does want to beat your ass, I'll make sure they can't.

You cupped his face on both your hands, caressing it with your thumbs. He wouldn't admit it, but if you stopped doing that for any random reason in the future, he'd be so lost.

—Rindou.

—what?

—can we just have a one cute couple moment without any random treaths to people who doesn't actually exist? I'd like to spend more time with you before you go...— when you said that, he kissed your hands, still caressing his face.

—sure. Are you hungry?

[ask-postcrash-curly]

Why do you all love tormenting this guy so much? Is it because he can't retaliate back?? Just take it easy Curly... You're going through enough without us tormenting you about Jimmy like this.

I hope rescue comes soon. Surely they've noticed you're gone by now. And there's only so much metal in space, they'll be able to detect you moving offcourse.

I think you deserve to think about the future instead of being asked about the shit you've had to gone through. Have you considered getting a service animal when you get back? I'll pitch in to get you one, just say my name! I think a golden retriever would suite ya best... They're such loyal loving dogs with curly fur. What's something you're looking forward to doing after recovery?

It warms my heart to see you're still as kind and goofy as you've always been. Even when the world tries to take it from you. You're becoming braver. Speaking your mind. Protecting yourself and the people who care for you. Telling us when we're wrong or not being helpful. I really appreciate it and admire it.

youtube.com/watch?v=SY24-S-2_vc

[🌻]

I mean, I can. Just… Doesn’t make much of a difference, yeah? Thanks. Taking it easy’s just about all I can do, lying here all day.

We’re not moving on our own, though. We crash-landed. Not like anyone can go out to check, but seems Tulpar’s stuck on this rock forever. Thanks though. I guess there’s a chance. But tell you the truth, we’ve all accepted we’re going to die here. Just, uh, glad to do it peacefully and not so alone, you know?

When I get back… Hah. I’ll… Yeah, actually. Talked with some of you about the prospects of having a service dog. I admit I’m not well-versed enough to know what the pup would do for me, but if it’s something I can afford, it holds a lot of appeal. I’m tempted to get a cat, hahah. All of you showing me your own have made me all the more in love with those little beasts. Golden retriever, pfft. I’ve been hearing that one for years. Heard some other suggestions from you lot. I don’t know. If I make it back I’ll figure it out.

Thank you. Can’t… can’t completely agree, though. How’m I protecting anyone else? …Glad you don’t mind being told when something’s not helping. I’m not mad when I say that kind of thing. Just want you to know, I guess, so it doesn’t… Yeah, I don’t know. Thanks. Definitely not worth your admiration though, hah.

This is peaceful… Thank you. Talk soon, okay?

[weirdenbyferret]

Was hit with an au idea yesterday. Sadly, I can't write for shit but I just HAVE TO TALK ABPUT IT

So uh... dca au. Sun and moon are creatures from norse mythology. More specifically a sjörå and a skogsrå (basically 'evil' nymphs, sjö meaning lake and skog meaning forest.) YN being either a human or a källrå (källa meaning spring or well in this case) and ending up lost in the forest, wandering away from their village (... or pond) on accident, and ends up seduced by them.

I was trying to link the English wikipedia pahes, but they're really short and don't actually say much about the nature of the myths, but I'll do my best to quickly translate the important stuffz

---

The skogsrå (also known as the forest maiden or Råndan), is mostly a beautiful humanoid, but has some animalistic features, usually deer hooves and a tail. They often seduce men and women who end up lost in the forest, but they might drive the humans who disrespect her or the creatures (animals and the more magical beings, such as fairies) mad, making them walk in circles until they drop dead from exhaustion. Those who have once been seduced by a forest maiden will forever wish to return to the forest as their chests ache for the mysterious creature, and those who anger one either die mysteriously or end up extremely sick. It is said that the only way to kill a forest maiden is to shoot them with a silver bullet.

The sjörå (aka. the Nixa/Nikse or lake maiden) is basically the same thing, except they live in lakes. They are scared of steel, but are generally less aggressive then the forest maidens. On the other hand, they are more desperate for human contact and will frequently pull humans into their lakes, only to find out their lovers cannot breathe under water. They do not kill humans out of spite, but rather out of either through tragic accident or hunger. Unlike the mermaid, the sea maiden does not have a fish tail, but rather scales on their back and long dark, green hair.

(Källrå (water fairies, spring trolls or pondfly) are the friendliest in the rå subtype, being afraid of humans most of the time, and only harming if it is first harmed, recemble short humans with frog like features. They are the only rå that never seduce humans. Every water fairy watches over a pond each, the ponds they watch over being said to have healing properties. If one spots a large frog near a pond, that was believed to be the creature in animal diguise, hiding from the humans who come to drink from the pond. The water was also said to show glimpses of the future. You had to be careful not to look for too long though, as the källrå might get mad at you, thinking you are judging them, and stealing your reflection.)

---

Sorry that this is like... SO LONG, I just wanted to tell someone about this idea I had. I would be honored if you could give me feedback, your fics are amazing...

Sending this anon cuz I'm kinda embarrassed ugeggegs....

I dont know who you are, but I want to, BECAUSE OMFG I LOVE THISSSSSS, MIGHT BE ABLE TO WRITE THAT FOR YOU AT SOME POINT (cant promise when I finish it) BUT I WILL MOST LIKELY BE MAKING DOODLES OF THAT AT SOME POINT

[dragonner0]

So uh, Branch 𝛼 update since I want to do WIP Wednesday tomorrow.

Shit's happening, Easter, burnout, hell itself came up to beat my ass. Honestly not in the best place mentally rn. But I'm coping. I'm doing my best. Branch 𝛼 chapter 5 is still slowly, ever so slowly coming along. It'll show up eventually. Please be patient. World's slowest writer tries and he knows he's struggling but he's fucking trying.

In the meantime, you know what I wanna do? I want you to ask me any questions you might have. Please, I beg you I need to talk about this shit or I'll go fucking mad. Even if it's the most outlandish thing I want to talk about it and make new lore for things I haven't thought of yet. Even if it's substantially plot=relevant then I'll share what I can without utterly destroying the secrecy of future plot.

[lostonehero]

This is stupid but uh

Eli is orginal Elias

Elias is Jonah

Petter is married/divorced to both

"What are you doing?" A properly annoyed tone filled Eli's head.

"Preventing one of your employees from getting taken." Eli responds with a huff dragging the table from artifact storage.

"I suppose this is better than you taking this chance to smoke next to my body." Jonah sighs. "Why are you doing this when I'm allowing you time with your body?"

"First off fuck you." Elia sighs pushing the table further into the tunnels. "Secondly, can't do shit about the worms you made sure of that."

"You don't have to be so upset, Elias." Jonah hummed.

"I'm long over being upset you eye freak." Eli sighs and wipes his brow. "Do you think this thing will possess Gertrude's body if I put it there?"

"That is a good question that I don't have an answer to." Jonah pauses. "However, that could be quite an interesting experiment."

"She was a real bitch so I don't exactly feel bad about it." Eli huffs pushing the table onto the room Gertrude's body was in. "That was no help from you, but I digress. So would it be fucked up if I just started to leave Gertrude's tapes about the archives?"

"I would rather you not." Jonah groans watching Eli grab a handful of tapes.

"You never learn, old man. If you hate the idea, I'm going to do it." Eli chuckles. "Yeah yeah I'll make sure I'm not seen you really should enforce a time to leave for employees your new future archivist needs some serious help, and that poor guy Martin needs a safer place to sleep."

"It is unfortunate Jane chose to target Martin. That wasn't my fault, however. The kid really wants to prove himself." Jonah hums.

"You hired him because you thought it would be funny, so cut him some slack. Granted, it's Jon giving him a hard time. So you still willing to wager they will end up together?" Eli hums, popping his head into the archives.

"I would rather not wager against you." Jonah sighs heavily.

"You're just mad because you've never won against me. Granted, would it count that your fear patron didn't win either since they thought I was dead after a hard night of drugs." Eli snickers at the noise Jonah made. "You act as if you've never experimented before with whatever fucked up shit you had as a teen."

"If I get Peter to smoke with you, will you quite bring up how you won against the Beholder?" Jonah groaned, knowing the answer.

"Hard no. Don't need him high to have fun. However, if you start wearing my weed socks with that stuffy suit of yours, I'll stop bringing it up for a month." Eli starts to put the tapes in random places.

".... fine." Jonah sighs, and Eli knew how much it pained him to agree to that.

....

"Tim, how many times do we need to discuss the dress code?" Elias smiles but they both know it's forced.

"Elias, it's Friday. I'm sure casual Friday can be an exception." Tim smiles back.

Eli is laughing hard. "Fight the power, Tim!"

Elias rubs his temples. "Just please enough of these casual Fridays." He turns and walls away and Tim takes that as a win.

"Show him your weed socks." Eli snickers.

"Beholder give me strength." Elias sighs.

........

Tim bolted for the entrance of the archive. He managed to keep his composure around Elias, but he saw the man's reflection. His reflection didn't match him, sure it looked like him, but he didn't match his movements, and he was floating, and if his reading lips were still any good, he knew the false reflection was encouraging him.

"Tim, are you alright?" Martin reached out to place a soft hand on Tim's shoulder. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Ghosts don't exit Martin." Jon glanced over and adjusted his glasses. "However you do look pale Tim."

"Ok, this is going to sound crazy but I just talked to Elias, and his reflection floated and looked like him but didn't match his movements." Tim waved his arms. "I think double boss man is possessed."

Sasha blinks. "Besides what you saw, where's your evidence." She did her best Jon impression.

"Good lord, don't do that." Jon sighs and pinches his brow. "But we need evidence."

"Well, from what Tim said, shouldn't we just need a mirror?" Martin blinks.

Jon opens his mouth and then closes it. "Martin does have a point. However, if we do this today afterward, can you get some actual work done?"

"This counts as actual work since we deal in spooky stories and happenings." Tim raised his brow.

Jon huffs. "Fine, just don't get yourself fired."

"If I'm right, Jon goes out with us for drinks." Tim smirks.

"I hardly see how you can prove this to get me to go drinking with you all." Jon sighs and heads into his office.

......

"So why do you think the assistants are following you?" Eli hums.

"I don't appreciate you using my patrons' power." Elias sighs as he slips into the bathroom.

"Well, you're using my body so tough shit." Elis sighs, floating in the mirror as Elias splashes himself with water. "Can't you even guess? I bet it's because you bothered Tim about his Hawaiian shirt again. I consider it high fashion."

Elias sighs and doesn't notice Martin or Tim watching him from the stalls. "Are you quite done?"

"Oh, don't be pissy, Jonah." Eli sticks his tongue out. "I know what will take that stick out of your ass."

"Absolutely not." Elias huffs, drying his face off with a paper towel. "Can you at least pretend to be useful?"

"And tell you what? Ignoring my sister will only get her to break down your door again. Your watchers crown plan is fucking stupid, or the fact that you're pissy because Peter won't answer your texts. The man barely knows how to use a phone." Eli crossed his arms.

".....Go back to being unhelpful." Elias shakes his head and leaves the bathroom.

.......

The door to the archives slammed open for a second time. "Tim was right." Martin gasps from running back in.

Tim was right behind him. "Also, Martin can read lips really well."

Sasha raised a brow. "Ok, so what did you two see stalking Elias?"

"Sasha, the other thing in the mirror is the actual Elias and whoever is Elias isn't Elias." Tim plops himself down at his desk. "Also something about Elias's sister and the Watchers Crown and patron like a God maybe."

"Tim, this is getting ridiculous." Jon pinches his brow, holding an empty mug.

Martin speaks up. "It's true. I saw all of it as well."

Jon pinches his brow. "Is this just an elaborate plan to get me to join you three for drinks?"

"No, I swear I'm not lying." Tim holds his hand out. "Come on, I'll prove it to you right now."

"Fine, I'll humor you." Jon frowns and follows Tim out.

......

Jon stared at the reflection. Realistically, he knew this wasn't possible he knew what he was seeing could be a hallucination, but for Tim and Martin to have the same reaction. He didn't think he could logic his way out of this situation.

Elias looked to Tim and raised his brow. "Is this your way of telling me Jonathan needs a vacation?"

"Use your freaky eyes, Jonah." Eli didn't sound as nearly as happy as Jonah imagined due to the teasing. "You forgot to cover your mirror."

Elias swallows as he follows Jon's gaze to the mirror behind him that is normally covered. He had this thing installed two bodies ago and didn't realize the unfortunate circumstances that could lead to this moment. "I see."

Tim stands up abruptly and stares down Elias. "So what are you hiding? Are you some ghost possessing this man?"

Eli snorts. "He's more so eyes than a ghost. It's been like 20 years, and I'm honestly over it." He looks smug. "However annoying the man does have its benefits."

Elias covers his face and sighs.

"Years of planning down the drain." Eli chuckles. "Vainity got you screwed."

"That's enough." Elias places his hands in his lap and sits up straight. "I am not a ghost. You would have to be dead to be a ghost."

"Semantics." Eli hums.

Jon blinks, finally focusing. "What are you?"

"The correct question is who am I. However, I think we are well past me trying to come up with a story." Elias rubs his temples at Eli's insistent laughter. "I am the founder of this insistute, Jonah Magnas." He smiles at the shock and breathes in the fear. "However, how I got in this position is not something I feel like explaining at the current moment. If you are both quite done gawking, I have work to get back to."

"Dude, you really need to get that stick out of your ass." Eli sighs. "You've never let this happen before. Wouldn't it be good to have people who know the truth, especially your archivist, to prevent what you did to Gertrude?"

Elias's eye twitched, annoyed that Eli was right. "Wait." He holds up his hand. "Bring Sasha and Martin in I rather not explain this twice."

Eli had a giant smirk on his lips. "How did you ever get shit done?" Watching Jon and Tim rush out to get their coworkers.

.......

Elias dropped his shoulders into a relaxed position his signature smirk was replaced with a bored look as he leaned back in his chair, dropping the gentleman act. In his place sat Eli, who clicked his tongue. "Jonah is not happy, to say the least." Even his voice sounded more relaxed. "Honestly, for someone who has been around over 200 years, you would think he would have more common sense. Granted, I guess that's why the definition of insanity is what it is."

"W-what should we call you?" Martin speaks up with a stutter he knew everyone else was still reeling.

"Eli is fine, Jonah uses my full name." He pulls open a side draw and reaches below, and the sound of ripping tape is heard as he pulls out a joint. "Now don't go being pissy, Mr. I see everything. You never check under the drawers. Besides, you will never find all of the things I've hidden in your office alone." He blushes slightly and sighs. "Sorry, I'm used to being alone. Anyway, have any questions for me? It's been like 20 years since I've been like this. I've made peace with my situation, and it's not all bad." He pulls out his lighter.

"Have you've seen his body?" Sasha blurts out.

Eli snickers capping his light. "Oh, you know what? This would be so hilarious if I was sober for these. I have it's under this building. It's a dreadful thing, but it still kind of looks alive, which I guess is the point." He pauses. "You can't see it in person, but I did take pictures of it. Yes, I did. I put passwords on our phone for a reason, so you can't delete my shit."

Tim takes a breath. "Not a serious question, but I have to ask the Lukas family. Is he a sugar baby?"

"Tim! That is hardly appropriate!" Jon groans and covers his face.

Eli starts to laugh. "To be fair, they've been in a relationship since like 1902. Have no idea what is up with Peter, but like the man hasn't aged a day since he turned 25. It's more like serial divorces, kind of? Jonah's pissy because Peter is ignoring him, and I keep trying to tell him that the man barely knows how to use a phone." He laughs harder. "Dude, you've been with men strictly no matter what the history books say you sad twink."

Tim starts to cackle, and Sasha joins him.

Jon waits for it to be quiet. "Reguardless of the childish matter, I have a serious question. How have you not er gone away?"

Eli drops his smile and sighs. "When Jonah does this swaps. It's not him doing it. it's the Beholder he doesn't have control of who and when it happens. They thought I was dead, but I wasn't. To be fair, I was really drugged out, but I had a pluse, and I wasn't brain dead. So because of that, I woke up, and we didn't exactly have a good first year of things. It wasn't awful. I mean, growing pains and whatnot, but honestly, I'm fine with it. Also, being able to hold this over Jonah's head will never get old."

Jon nods, mulling over the answer.

"Do you share dreams?" Martin hums. There's a glint in his eyes as if he wanted to ask something else, but he decided on a simple question.

"We don't dream. Not anymore, at least. We sleep, yeah, but it's more so we're inside our heads. I can go to his side if I wanted to, and vice versa. It's peaceful in a sense, but I would rather not be stuck going through my memories every night, and I don't like going through Jonah's either." Eli pauses. "I think that's what I miss most being able to dream. Weird, huh? You never think of something so normal until you lose it." He sighs. "That's enough for now. You four have a lot to process, and I don't plan on staying sober to answer any more questions." He waits for them to leave before he lights his joint.

"You hid things from them." Jonah hums.

"Maybe you're rubbing off on me." He takes a deep inhale. "Or maybe they don't have to know everything. Unlike you, it isn't a risk to their safety."

"I conceded your point. I also have to admit this was a decent idea." Jonah huffs forcing himself to admit it.

"You just hate that I've been right about the important things." Eli hums and blows out smoke. "Do you want to have a hit?"

"I can feel it just fine." Jonah knew that wasn't what he was asking.

"Alright, suit yourself." Eli shrugs.

[ladygwyndolin]

You're clearly a great fan of Murcielago's villain protagonists, but what are your opinions on the antagonists?

well you can't send me an ask like this an expect me not to rate each of them individually, but i assume you knew this. crafty, glasses! I'm gonna rate the primaries here but I'll rate the secondaries next. Only up to Silver Scent.

Arc 0: Unnamed Serial Killer

Cringe loser, no swag, no style, unmemorable, no standards. Died in an accident. 0/5.

Arc 1: Tasuku Iimura

Just kind of a big brute, somewhat sad backstory but doesn't really bring anything to the table. This arc isn't really about him though. 1/5.

Arc 2: Hyoue Satori

Total patsy. Basically irrelevant as his only real contribution was bankrolling a cooler, sexier villain. 1/5.

Arc 3: Takeru Asagi

We're starting to get somewhere. He's still fairly meh, but his MO and backstory are way more interesting than the previous villains and his genuine care for his daughter gives him a bit of heart. OFC, he pales in comparison to how amazing a character said daughter is, but I'll give him a point for trying. 2/5.

Arc 4: Gold Marie

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOO!!!!!! I LOVE GOLD MARIE. Absolutely horrible and irredeemable monster, twisted in fun and unique ways, tragic backstory, gay, disgusting, and, well. Y'know. She's got. uh. well. Anyway, one of the best in the series, no question. 5/5.

Arc 5: The Rainy Day Killer

Hands down the most terrifying villain in the entire series and it's not even close. I get the creeps just looking at him. It takes a lot to be a monster in a world as monstrous as Murcielago's, but boy oh boy does he do it. Great backstory, too. Gonna give him a 4/5 just because of how SCARY he is.

Arc 6: Marie Misaka

Meh. This arc is more about Kuroko herself being the villain rather than this chick, so she barely gets any screentime and doesn't have much to offer. 2/5 cuz there's some implied gay shit at least.

Arc 7: Toukichirou Higaki

Mostly a vehicle for more interesting side characters. His fighting style is cool, but his ultimate goal of dying in battle doesn't have any real weight to it. Pretty forgettable. 2/5.

Arc 8: Shin Tatewaki

Boring villain from a boring arc. 1/5 cuz i think his scar looks cool.

Arc 9: Cobalt Conrad

A very solid mad scientist archetype. I think his relatively friendly and calm demeanor persisting throughout both arcs he's in is great and I like that he came back as a villain in the first place. His ultimately plan is pretty simple and I feel like more could be done with him, but given that we haven't seen the last of him I think there's a chance we'll get new stuff from him too. 4/5.

Arc 10: Kurono

YEAH BABY YEAH BABY LET'S GO!!!!!!!!! I LOVE KURONO!!!! Cool split personality ghost with probably the best fight in the entire series (due to the fact that Kuroko is hilarious throughout it) and sympathetic motivation make her extremely memorable. A lot of people rank Master Swordsman as their favorite arc, and while it's not my personal pick, scenes with Kurono make me understand exactly why so many people love it. 5/5.

Arc 11: Rose Marie

Best boy with one of the best arcs. I looooove TTDUP and how fucked up it is, and this weird conjoined cannibal queen is what makes it work. The second most unsettling villain after the rainy day killer as well. Easy 6/5, I would love if we got more villains like him in the future.

Arc 12: Comedy Writer

Easily the least threatening major villain and thus one of the least interesting. This is another arc where Kuroko eclipses the actual antagonist by a significant margin, so his only real noteworthy moment is when Kuroko kills the shit out of him. 1/5.

Arc 13: Hazuki Sendou

Gross. Loser. Doesn't deserve Zenpachi. Keep that in your pants, loser. 1/5.

Arc 14: Yuusuke Arima

A deeply tragic and sympathetic villain, and one who we get to know as a person far more than most other villains. Serial killer or not, I just felt really fucking bad for this guy. Not huge on his sudden double evil turn at the very end so I've gotta dock him a point for that, but I'm overall a fan. 3/5.

Arc 15: Mineko and Ayako

Honestly it was tough for me to decide which one of these two was the "main" villain so I ultimately decided to just go with both of them because hey, it's my list. My verdict is that they did literally nothing wrong and should not be held accountable for any crimes whatsoever. 5/5.

Hopefully that answers your question!

[spamtoon]

DCRC Week 8--hey, look at that! On time!

Okay I woke up early today and I am NOT happy about it so before I do anything I'm going to sit down and read Paperinik because I was so excited to game last night and now I kinda don't feel like it. MAYBE I'll go back to sleep after this but I think I just kinda have to live with this.

Sorry I don't have any club penguin screenshots this time. unless something happens. wait i have the perfect idea

you can say odin eidolon in club pen.guin

omg its the panel. its the pk panel that everyone's like that goes so hard and you know what. it does go so hard

im so mad the way they didnt try to put it over the text this time. i love you pkna translation

omg the duck avenger actually fighting normal crime and being on patrol and shit no way. with these comics if they're dealing with cosmic threats on a daily basis its easy to forget they just like. also stop normal crime. like kidnappings and shit

ah okay. clearly these are the evronians from the second dimension

okay is the time police back to helping donald. or are these guys just normal cops. okay nevermind we time travelled i guess so normal cops. okay

so they use that shot and then they're like BOOM you're in the future actually. let me explain

im so fuckin mad the way this background lady is looking at donald like Who the Fuck is this guy. he Sucks

So I guess those guys are stronger because they're Future evronians and donald fighting them was like nuh uh uh! let's give you a future tour first

hes so tiny. hes so insanely little look at him. i guess after the time police explosion incident they're like alright. this is the only guy who can help us let's just tell him about the future becaues he's gonna find out anyway

i love the super trash here sign. in the future even trash is super

omg... he's coming. he's coming. he's coming. the guy's name i can't spell

hes so sad that uno's mortal after all... poor guy...

lord i dont know if we're supposed to not trust this guy but i do not trust this guy How do you know about all this stuff if it hasn't been documented well

i also like that everyone is taller--not just in the future but in pkna in general actually it feels like donald is in new donk city

donald is so cute in this panel... he's so silly

okay now i dont think we're supposed to trust this guy he's fuckin giving donald a pearl (SORRY) (reference)

donald misses uno sooooooo much already

sorry im on a kick now i didnt include the evermore comment but i swear to cog all my brain has to say about the tape head tv is "the void..." (another (reference)

ooh they're alright fightiiing please get to the part where we see The Catch or better yet. odin

donald's cape in this issue...

THE WAY I WENT YOOOOOO OUT LOUD

iced tea imported from england. lifeguards imported from sp

this fucking guy and his posing

i love how theres just a crowd forming behind them i'm so. they're chilling. hitting it off already.

okay glad to see donald also thinks this is suspicious

im so mad hes so fucking done looking

poptropi.ca good future lookin ahh. not that he doesnt have taste

bruh the fuckin fake evronians. im so mad. wow im sure this isnt foreshadowing anything the walt disney corporation will do in the next three centuries SORRY.

robot eye..................................

so thats why they look like that like they're literally supposed to be edgier evronians for the sake of tv hence why they're so second dimension alright.

the stupid fuckin eyebrow quirk im so mad donald's little goofy shrug

HELP im so mad. the robot parts. not going to photograph because it's kinda unsettling me a bit in a mega.volt way but

SORRY HIS FACES ARE SO FUNNY i keep having to screenshot them

his fucking expression. he's so fucking screwed

IM SO FUCKING MAD the cops were like alright yeah. fuck it. you're a tv guy i'll sign off on this as long as you dont do anything too stupid. lets rewrite this history and shape the perceptions of the future because yeah we wanna see that too that'd be sick

i love how this is the first movie pose he knows when he's like alright fine. let's do this stupid movie. hi odin...

robo-donald

HELP IM SO MAD the way the evronian was actually the chancellor guy, i'm so mad

also i guess xadhoom got her way and donald didnt just get them to stop invading earth but actively destroyed all of them. except this one guy. you know what good for her

oooh the beam deflected. i mean technically we dont either but you dont know hes a robot yet... ooooooh you targetted the wrooong guy

omg the uno textboxes... oughghgnn...

HI UNO!!!!!!! I MISSED HIM i cant send anymore images but HAIIII

oh uno,... i'll admit i looked up odin eidolon like one day before i started reading paperinik and then accidentally found the spoiler but i'm glad its like. hinted at/revealed this issue rather than like. a big buildup because i would have felt bad

im so mad the way uno says his files are overloaded the machine... ohohgnsngnngsng

alright good issue! i prompted puffy to draw a duck avenger 23rd century fanart and now im very scared but yaaaay im caught up on paperinik

[misslisamiray]

Here's Chapter 12 of Down With the Rickness - we're only a few chapters away from the ending now and I am NOT ready. I just love sharing this fic with all of you so much, and I'll be sad when it's over.

Anyway, this is (mostly) another chapter of just Rick and Morty, but there's one brief appearance by Jerry. New chapter below the cut!

“Mom’s gonna be late.” Morty informed Rick, who nodded, rubbing his throat again.

“Ugh. Morty, remind me to stop including tonsils in any and all future clones. They just sit there doing nothing 99% of the time, then get all inflamed and painful the few times a decade I get sick. Talk about a design flaw. It’s *Cough!* *Cough!* like the little pick-me ass bitches are mad at me for typically forgetting they exist. Ow. Also, remind me to remove these the second I feel up to it.” he complained.

“Uh-huh. I promise I will.” Morty agreed, trying to decide if it was a good or bad sign that Rick was talking about removing his own tonsils when he felt better, as opposed to right this second.

“You planning to stay up for a while?” he asked, getting another nod as an answer.

“Okay, well, it’s lunchtime. Did you want to try eating a sandwich or something?” Rick gave him a look that was meant to be angry, but came across more pitiful.

“Fine, I’ll just bring you more ice cream.” Morty gave in.

“Thanks. Oh, and Morty? I’m kinda *Cough!* empty here. Think you can help me out, buddy?” Rick asked, shaking his empty flask.

“No way. You’ve had plenty already. I’m not gonna get into a whole thing with you about how much you drink normally, but you’re way too sick for it today.” Morty refused.

“Pick a lane, Morty. I can’t be *Cough!* ‘too sick to drink’ and ‘not sick enough to cure using one of my supposedly crazy experiments’ at the same time.” Rick pouted, putting the trash can and tissue box aside to put his labcoat back on and retrieve the blankets from the floor again.

“Yes, you can. Both of those things can be true, Rick. And they are. You’re not guilting me into refilling your damn flask. I’m bringing you more juice.” Morty told him, starting to leave the room.

“But *Achoo!* my throat hurts. And my head hurts. And I’m cold again. It’ll help with at least one of those things.” Rick whined, throwing his head back dramatically and putting his feet up on the coffee table. He snuck a glance at Morty to see if this was working at all.

“No. It’s probably why your head hurts in the first place. Or at least one of the reasons. As for the rest, I don’t see how it’s supposed to help…” Morty made the mistake of looking over at Rick, seeing again how disheveled and miserable he looked. And asking for more booze, while not a good idea, was tame compared to every other idea Rick had come up with today…

“Okay, I’ll make a deal with you. I still refuse to bring you any of the stronger shit you keep in the garage. But I’m pretty sure there’s sofa wine left, and if you drink it, I won’t tell Summer it was you. I should since she’s mad at you anyway, but I won’t. Deal?” Morty compromised.

“Fair enough.” Rick agreed. With an annoyed sigh, Morty went to the kitchen to get lunch for the two of them. 

Rick felt around under a cushion until he found the half empty bottle of wine. The overly colorful, badly designed label had silhouettes of about a dozen dancing figures, all in obnoxiously bright colors, in front of a disco ball. It looked as much like something teenagers would sneak as this particular bottle was. He unscrewed the cap and took a tentative sip.

“Eww. How long have we all been sitting on this shit? I doubt it was great to begin with, but it’s definitely seen better days.” Rick complained to himself. He looked the ugly label over again and saw the alcohol content: 7%.

“Ugh. It’s terrible and weak as hell? One or the other I can deal with, but this is just awful. *Cough!* Dammit, Summer. I would’ve expected better from you.” Rick took another sip and shuddered. He recapped the bottle and started to put it back, then reconsidered. This stuff was giving the cold medicine a run for its money in terms of what tasted worse… but the warm liquid sliding down his throat did feel sort of nice. Soothing, even. It didn’t burn like the liquor he would have preferred to be drinking would. And sure, the alcohol content was a joke, but it’s not like he was starting from sober…

“Fuck it. Beggars can’t be choosers and all.” Rick muttered, deciding to drink more of the sofa wine.

Meanwhile, Jerry was sulking in his mancave. He turned the Sailor Moon tape over in his hand repeatedly and sighed. Finally deciding to put it down, he checked his phone to see if either of the Beths had replied to any of his texts. Neither one had. Jerry frowned and sat there for a few minutes, looking even more dejected and forlorn. Then he thought of some more messages to send, and immediately proceeded to do that. 

Another thing Morty became aware of throughout the day was that, besides not sleeping well when ill, Rick also rarely seemed able to get comfortable for more than a few minutes at a time. The tossing and turning was just as bad, if not worse, when the man was awake than when he was sleeping. When he was lying with his head at the opposite end of the couch, Morty kept getting kicked, usually in the back of the head. If Rick was lying with his head at the end of the couch where Morty was sitting, that meant more getting coughed and sneezed on, and sometimes being hit by a bony elbow or shoulder.

When he wasn’t sprawled across the couch (and Morty), Rick would try to sleep sitting at the opposite end of it, usually with at least two pillows under his head. Apparently, this helped with the postnasal drip, but sleeping like that hurt his back. Morty had to stop himself from pointing out that Rick fell asleep sitting on the couch all the time and didn’t usually complain about that afterwards.

Then of course, there was the temperature issue. Rick alternated between freezing and not being able to get enough blankets, his thin frame shaking despite all the layers… and the exact opposite, tossing all the blankets aside as quickly as he could, complaining that the thermostat must be broken. He kept going from one extreme to the other, with very little middle ground.

During the few moments of calm when Rick slept, or at least had settled down temporarily, Morty kept looking at things on his phone and scribbling down notes from what he read. As the day went on, what he was looking at progressed from benign things like the debate on whether or not vitamin C did anything for a cold and memes about watching game shows while home sick, to distinguishing colds from more serious illnesses. And from there to complications of those more serious illnesses, and how they could be worse and more likely in someone older…

While Rick seemed to be sleeping soundly enough, Morty decided to risk sneaking upstairs to grab his laptop. His phone was nearly dead, and besides, he was tired of staring at that small screen (and Rick sometimes kicking the phone out of his hand). He came back downstairs about 10 minutes later to discover Rick awake and glaring at him. The tissue shoved up his right nostril undercut how furious he looked, but only slightly.

“Morty…”

“What? I wasn’t gone long, and you’re the one who wants me to leave you alone all together. If you’re mad again because I won’t bring you more booze, too bad.” Morty said, trying to figure out what the newest problem was.

“Where’s my portal gun, Morty?” Shit. Morty gulped, but quickly tried to act nonchalant and lie his way out of this.

“You mean you don’t have it? Aw geez, Rick. I don’t, don’t know anything about that. You probably dropped it in the garage earlier and didn’t notice. You have been pretty out of it today.” Rick considered this. He hated to admit it, but that was possible. After all, he still hadn’t figured out why there’d been a shoe in his pocket earlier. But Morty was clearly more anxious than usual, and it was a dead giveaway he was hiding something.

“Uh-huh. Can’t argue with *COUGH!* that. So how about you help me find it?”

“Maybe later. You need to get some more rest, and what’s it matter where your portal gun is when you’re in no condition to use it?”

“I’m not going to use it. Just getting up from this couch to go look for the thing sounds like a huge pain in the ass – forget about going to another dimension. But it’s mine and I want it. Besides, *Cough!* *Cough!* if I’m not going to use it, what does it matter if I have it?” 

Morty couldn’t think of a reply, and for the second time that day, Rick found himself locked in a staring contest with one of his grandchildren. Also for the second time that day, he lost when he sneezed.

“Ugh. Dammit, I hate this. At least it’s almost over. I mean, it has to be – I’ve been sick for days.” he complained weakly after blowing his nose.

“I hate to break this to you, Rick, but it’s only been a day. More like half of one, actually.” Morty informed him, feeling another wave of sympathy and worry. He plugged his laptop in, plugged his phone into it, and sat down next to Rick again.

“That’s not funny, Morty.” Rick told him pitifully.

“I know it’s not. But I also wasn’t joking. Sorry, Rick.” Morty apologized. Rick grabbed the nearest pillow and screamed into it.

“Stop that. You’ll just make your throat hurt worse, and for what? Throwing a tantrum isn’t going to help anything.” Morty told him, patting his arm.

“You don’t know that it *SNIFF!* won’t.” Rick argued, still talking into the pillow. Realizing how pathetic that sounded, he tossed it aside and slumped against Morty, resting his head on his shoulder.

 “But… probably not. *YAWN!*” he admitted.

“Aww, come on, Rick. Don’t fall asleep on me. I’m covered in your germs as it is. Move.” Morty protested, trying to nudge Rick off him.

“You gonna tell me where my portal gun is?” Rick asked, struggling to stay awake.

“Nope. You say you aren’t going to use it, but I have zero reason to believe you.”

“Fine. Then I’m not moving.”

“If you fall on the floor, I’m leaving you there.” 

Still trying unsuccessfully to make Rick move, Morty was surprised there was no sarcastic response or further argument. He turned his head slightly and saw it was because Rick had fallen asleep. With a sigh, Morty tried one last time to nudge Rick off his shoulder. When it didn’t work, he resigned himself to being used as a pillow for a while. He turned on the laptop and went back to his questionable research. Another episode of the fishing show came on. This time, the man who looked like Gene with a beard was listing facts about salmon.

While Rick had slept half an hour at most any other time during the day, of course, now it seemed like he was going to be out for much longer.

“How is this the one position you’ve managed to get comfortable in all day?” Morty asked, feeling some drool drip onto his shoulder. Besides being awkwardly slumped against Morty, Rick had one leg draped over the back of the couch, and the other dangling off the front of it. It was surprising he hadn’t fallen yet. Having given up on getting Rick to move, Morty decided to see if he could slip free without disturbing him. He put his laptop aside and tried to stand up… only to realize that Rick had grabbed onto his arm at some point without him noticing.

“C’mon, really?” Morty whispered, carefully trying to free his arm. Rick groaned and coughed a few times.

“Shit! Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.” Morty apologized.

Either ignoring or not hearing him, Rick sat up a little straighter and took a half asleep look around the room. He pulled his blanket pile up to his chest, then immediately rested his head on Morty’s shoulder again. He also tightened his hold on the boy’s arm.“Fine, I give up. At least you’re not trying to ‘fix’ this with something that could kill us, and you’re finally getting some sleep. You win. *YAWN!*” Morty gave in, accepting that he wasn’t getting up any time soon. He suddenly realized how tired he was, too. The sounds of the rain, the boring TV show, and of course, Rick’s snoring, weren’t helping. Morty looked back and forth between what he’d been reading on his computer, and Rick sleeping up against him. He debated whether it was alright for him to take a nap, too. After a few minutes of just watching Rick, who appeared to be sleeping soundly, Morty closed his eyes. Within a minute, he was also fast asleep.

[redbelles]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by: the wonderful @carry-the-sky 💖

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

51

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

245,595

3. what fandoms do you write for?

i don't ever really abandon old fandoms, but so far 2024 has been all berserk (nothing posted yet, unforch) and masters of the air

4. top five fics by kudos

like a heartbeat drives you mad

the dreadful need in the devotee

and my body found the wind

stuck in colder weather

all the love you need

5. do you respond to comments?

yes! it may take me a hundred million years, but i appreciate each and every comment i get, and i often go back to them for a little jolt of "hey, people actually like your writing!" motivation when i'm stuck

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

lmao uh. known angst goblin meg redbelles here, but i honestly didn't have to do much work to the canon endings of robert baratheon (the clouds will form a crown) or judas iscariot (in the violence of our dreams) to make them even more horrifically angsty, so. one of those, probably!

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i don't tend to go for out and out happy endings—i prefer bittersweet—but i feel like the answer is either the mercy wheel, which fixes dany’s gabarge season eight character arc, or tongue’s talkin’ riddles (sticky sweet), which gives chrissy and eddie a mostly happy future together instead of horrible deaths in deeply cursed hawkins

and! for what it's worth! the chimneys hardly ever fall down is going to end on a happy note! they're just going to have to Suffer a lot to get there! it's fine!

8. do you get hate on fics?

nope

9. do you write smut?

me, currently 3k into a m/m/f threesome scene:

10. craziest crossover:

i enjoy spitballing about crossovers, but i doubt very seriously that i'll ever write one

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of, no

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

i've had offers before, but i've declined every time; they all wanted to host the translations outside of AO3, which is not something i'm comfortable with

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

yep! keep calling me home is a really fun little round robin fic i wrote with three other authors a couple years ago

14. all time favorite ship?

i can't read suddenly.gif

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

shUT UP!!!!! I'M GONNA FINISH ALL MY WIPS!!!!!! SHUT UP!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

16. what are your writing strengths?

imagery, emotion, themes, dialogue

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

plot? never heard of her. also, i feel like i still suck at writing humor

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

to crib from a previous answer: unless you speak the language, it gets real dicey real fast. i personally avoid it unless a) it’s a canonical term/phrase, like all the faux-russian bullshit in the grisha trilogy, or b) i can check the grammar/usage with a native speaker or someone who is solidly fluent

19. first fandom you wrote in?

[redacted] way back ages ago on [redacted]

20. favorite fic you've written?

recency bias talking here, but i am so, so, so fond of the chimneys hardly ever fall down; i challenged myself to write the first chapter as one continuous scene (i feel like i sometimes abuse scene breaks to heighten tension), and honestly i think i nailed it. also, this sequence:

Maybe he is drunk. That would make sense. He’s going to wake up and find himself alone at the bottom of a bottle. Back in the cold blue, Fort shot to shit and tumbling from the sky like a wounded bird, trailing fire and screaming as she falls. Maybe he won’t wake up at all— maybe he’s dead in a potato field, a ghost who never made it back in the first place. His heart can’t fucking take it.

like, i'm sorry, but that's brutal! and i am so proud of it!

tagging: @sluttyhenley @littlelindentree @oatflatwhite @meyerlansky @ladywaffles

@charmtion @anthropologicalhands @jacyevans @thatworldinverted @thatgirlnevershutsup

and anyone elso who wants a go ✨

[toastywatchesstevenuniverse]

S1 E52

Jail Break

.

What.

The.

Fuck.

God dAMNIT REBECCA YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS TO ME !!!!!!!!

REBECCAAAAAA-

I....

I have.....so very, very, very, very many questions rn.

1.

WHAT THE FUCK GARNET WAS A FUCKING FUSION THIS ENTIRE TIME-???!?!?!?@@?@?!?!?!?@*#[×*'OWAN

WHAT

HOW

WHAT THE FUCJ YOU CANT JUST DO THAT TO ME THAT WAS LIKE A FRYING PAN SLAMMING INTO MY NOSE

WHAT THE FUCK

.

.

Okay brain being turned into goo aside: Ruby & Sapphire are fucking adorable. Their designs are adorable & they act adorable & then just-

They just let two gay characters be gay on screen & they didn't try to insist that they're "good friends" like

It's just gay shit

This was in 2013

Back in 2013 I was still in my denial phase. See when I was a kid, being gay was just an extremely common insult & any gay representing I saw in media was usually just "gay people are so fucking weird haha" & I was....

I was very insistent that I was straight. Like because I was conditioned to associate being gay as being a loser who gets bullied.

I wish I had watched this show back in the day.

I really did need a wake up call at that age.

But from what I see, this show clearly helped a lot of queer folk during a time where gay people weren't exactly being given the best treatment.

Not that we aren't targeted today but it was definitely way less common to see Lgbtq+ stuff in mainstream media. And I'm so glad that this show helped so many of you.

I think if I had watched this show back then, maybe 13 year old Daniel might have made better choices. But I'm glad I saw it now.

Okay let's just get it out of the way.

So uhm....J-Jasp....J-Ja....Jaaas- Y'know uh that uh....uh the uh...J-....J-Jasper. Uh............

Daniel stop immediatley falling in love with every buff woman they see challenge (Impossible I can't help it woman who are built like tanks make my nonbinary ass go brrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR)

Ok don't get my wrong Jaspers an asshole & I'm glad Garnet fucking kicked her shit in but like.....I mean I can't fix her but I still would.

Also THAT FUCKING SONG

Oh my God THAT SONG WAS SO GOOD THAT WAS A FUCKING MASTERCLASS MUSICAL PIECE

PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION

"YOU'RE JUST MAD CUZ YOU'RE SINGLE." YEAAAAHHH GET HER ASS GARNET YOU FUCKING GO QUEEN SLAAAAAAYYYYYYYY

.

I am.....I am beyond floored. I am under the floor.

I cannot fucking fathom what insane shit lays ahead of me. But if THIS was only the first part.....oh God. What fucking insanity awaits me in the future. I am headed into a storm & I am not turning back. Together we shall face this storm & prepare ourselves for what we shall witness. Come my friends, let us set forthwith.

My brain is fucking goo & I cannot type coherently rn. Oh my God this was a fucking masterpiece. How is this only season 1? You're telling me it's gonna get MORE INSANE? I AM GOING TO BE LIQUID BY SEASON 4.

Also kinda fucked up that no one said anything about Peridot. Just kinda ignored the fact that she is possibly dead?

Like, is no one else concerned about this? Like, not one of you said anything? Like, you guys were with her you aren't even gonna say anything? Damn.

Fucking cold.

Anyways I'll be making some adjustments to the masterpost & once that refinement is done, I'll be starting season 2

Also from now on, every episode, I will do a drawing to add to the post. This will make posts slower but I think it'll be fun. And it'll help me with my art block struggles

Also it's an excuse to draw Pearl. ♡

See you guys in Season 2!!

- Sincerely, your moderator

Daniel (a.k.a. Toasty)

[cartooncartoonpanic]

#006 Sins of the past

You approached Princess Morbucks and her friends...friends probably isn't the right term considering she was yelling at the boy and didn't seem to know the girl. It was entirely possible that they had only met today. Of course you did wonder how such a passionate argument could have broken out between strangers.

"You should know exactly how serious I am about this, Dexter. There's a huge vaccum in the market for villains right now since Mojo disappeared, and since I'm so generous I'll even fund your evil schemes." As always, Princess is pretentious and demanding. No surprises there. You do listen closely though, since you want to know exactly where Mojo might have disappeared to. It's possible that Blossom didn't tell you the entire truth

"I've already told you. I don't do that anymore. I broke off our contract for a reason" The guy in the lab coat, supposedly named Dexter, now speaks. He speaks in a thick accent though you can still tell he's upset. He has curly red hair and wears headphones though you can't tell if they're playing any music

Princess: "Didn't you used to be in a rivalry with Mandark? He's the top ranking right now?"

Dexter: "That's not my problem anymore"

Princess: "So you're just letting him be better than you?"

Dexter: "I already hurt someone important to me once, I don't want to risk it again"

Princess: "What, is this all because you fell in love with a Powerpuff girl?"

Dexter: "It's more-"

Princess: " I saw Blossom here and she hasn't said a word to you, so clearly she doesn't feel the same~"

Dexter: "That's not-wait, isn't that the reason you quit too?"

Princess: "Literally shut up right now"

Dexter: "Because I recall reading a tabloid magazine about how Bubbles left you because you che-"

Princess: "ENOUGH!"

All 3 of you were silent and just stared at her until you spoke.

"Wait, who's Mandark again?" The black haired girl looks like she's about to say answer you but then changes her mind. Princess speaks instead because of her need to dominate any given conversation.

"Oh...you're here. Greeeeeeeat". Of course she doesn't like you. Your last interaction ended with you and your brothers refusing to let her join you. But you were also like, 5. She still seemed petty though.

"Of course you wouldn't know someone that famous. Is it because you were never a real villain? But anyway he's like...mad scientist guy. Reads a lot of nerd shit but actually makes it kind of cool. It's called like...cloud rock or whatever"

"It's called steampunk...For someone acting like she's the grand authority of villainy, you really need to do more research. Anyway I saw him here earlier. He has like black hair, and some stupid cape"

"Oh uh-" You remember that description exactly fits the guy who you just punched. Thinking about it further, a future supervillain interning on whatever weird project had them kidnapped made a lot of sense.

"I may have taken him out...Didn't kill him but uhhh" You showed your now stained gloves, expecting a freakout but they seemed almost uncomfortably calm. The black haired girl looked as if she wanted to say something but realized she probably shouldn't. The guy in the lab coat seemed to smirk a bit. Princess, as always, looked annoyed.

"So...if whatever villain contract you were talking about is open, you should probably be offering it to me, if anyone" You weren't sure if it was something you actually wanted...but job security sounds nice. Even with someone as annoying as her.

"Yeah that's...never gonna happen. If a hero just wants to rely on physical strength and powers that's one thing. But villains have to be smarter. And you...I don't think you have that. Sure, your dad was a real villain. Regardless of my personal feelings I can't deny Mojo's impact. But you and your brothers...you were just a scheme. A means to take down the Powerpuff girls. And that's all you'll EVER be"

Rage flashes through you again but unlike last time you hold back, though your gaze is terrifying. She knows enough about you to know that you can shoot lasers out of your eyes.

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Next step: Beating up Cunt-sensei!

USAMI: So after, that I guess that be when you all had enough of your teacher?

Heh, yeah no kidding I mean since I was given the chance to yell out everything I wanted, honestly I did not regret it at all!

But then I had to call my old man after, yeah he was uh... he was freak out, but I can't blame him at all...

...

...

...

*As the teacher tied up to a chair Nagi looks over at Kazuichi*

Well Kazuichi, I think it's your turn now; I bet you want to say something, right?

Nice, honestly I've been waiting for this since last year!

U-Um, we-well... Kazuichi, look it's just that I was helping with your talent...!

Helping with my talent, fuck off with that - all you did was make me repair cars and fix stuff up; like y'know I had a bunch of stuff I wanted to do...

Which if I remember right, you ripped it up during the very first year, you didn't even allow me to do what I want and I just question why the hell I even care what you think!

Like not only you treated everyone like shit, you just made us all feel like shit! I just don't give 2 damns about this school, it can rot in hell for all I care!

Pl-Please...I...I was just... helping you all... waaaaaaah...!

Hmph, and now your crying? How pathetic, I guess when your students start to fight back against you, you turn into a bawling mess, and here I thought I was scared of you...

So yeah, y'know what? Fuck you and fuck this school, I'm dropping out! I don't care anymore!

Well... I think I already say enough, maybe you should realize your a shit teacher but given how you are I could see you denying it and saying you did nothing wrong.

Anyway, have fun getting yell at by everyone else, Teach! I'm sure they got a lot to say!

...

...

...

Th-The hell, I...Kazuichi, I saw the footage and... oh my god, was this shit happening to you?!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah dad, this was actually happening and I really regret coming to this school, I thought we be successful but instead I was treated like shit...

I...I'm so sorry dad, I didn't mean for it to get this bad; I was freaking out and...and I didn't know what to do!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey hey, Kaz it's okay! Your not at fault for this!

Still... I can't believe this shit happen, Hope's Peak Academy... I guess sending you there was a mistake...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wait... dad, you aren't mad at me?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

You kiddin'? I wouldn't be mad at you, after all you had no idea what was going on when you enroll; I mean no one can predict the future, right?

If anything, I'm more pissed off at this damn school; like what the fuck is wrong with these fuckers...?!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heh, yeah no kidding... but still, I am planning to drop out so I hope that's okay.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't worry, I understand after all I think it's good your getting out of there, kiddo - I'll be sure to help ya.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heh, man... thanks dad, I'll talk to you later!

*CLICK*

Wow... I was surprise how dad didn't get mad at me, but at least he knows now...

But I need to get back to Class; I know that bitch of a teacher is gonna bring the Steering Committee so I better go...

*Kazuichi rushes off...*

[kittynugg]

allow me to add stanford as a playable character and some other mechanics because this concept had me up at four fucking thirty in the morning thinking of ideas

first i'll start with those stats i added, fears paranoia allat shit (under the cut its a long post

fears are basically just consequences without actions, ford needs to be near stan or have a light to sneak in the dark. otherwise he has a time limit of how long he can remain in the dark area before the player is forced back to his and stan's room and has to start it all over. not to mention, ford's fear of the dark causes his eyes to play tricks on him and he may occasionally see a shadow in the shape of filbrick in the dark. the big problem? ford is a baby insomniac! he has to have certain conditions to sleep and will not if they aren't met. simple things like "i need a glass of water." if he doesnt do them he'll stay up for most of the night or the entire night and spent the next day with the "tired" stat, which gives him eyebags and worsens his ability to lie, cover up for stan and may even cause him to get worse grades in school if its a school day which causes filbrick to become suspicious

so to combat the fear of the dark you can obtain a flashlight, but the problem is its a fucking flashlight and you're trying to sneak under the cover of darkness so if filbrick is nearby there's like an absurdly high chance he'll see you

stan's fear of heights prevents him from hiding in certain high places or reaching certain areas. ford can climb into his bed (i always imagine he takes the top bunk because stan is afraid of heights) when filbrick or caryn walk in but if prompted to hide there stan will just freeze for a moment and potentially get caught that way

paranoia is basically fear but at random moments of the day, sometimes ford will get bullshit missions to avoid something or do something for someone and it'll be completely unnecessary. the "tired" stat exacerbates his paranoia

as mentioned on the character select screen, ford can keep snowball from meowing when stan walks past, making him an asset when sneaking. he'll pet snowball and keep him distracted while stan does his thing and feed him something if he has treats in his inventory (an item i made up just now that stan or ford can obtain to shut snowball the fuck up) if given treats snowball will remain quiet for a certain amount of time but it isnt necessary if you have ford with you

i wish snowball had some depth to him other than just being an alert, maybe he's another thing that keeps ford from freaking out in the dark. like maybe at the cost of making some noise (meowing, purring) you get a few more seconds

lets see uhh what else

ford has to deal with bullying at school, so his future readings are related to that. he can piece together the meanings a lot quicker than stan and as such will occasionally receive missions according to the meanings

like here, he'd be shoved into his locker and teased about his hands, so he may receive a mission to avoid the lockers

i wanna think lying is based on the skill of the player via qte, stan's are fairly easy while ford's are intermediate and hard if he has the "tired" stat

failing the qte will place a filler word into the sentence (uh, um, well, etc.) and raise filbrick's suspicion. failing too many will end the sequence and create the shittiest, most goddamn preposterous lie possible if you're playing as ford. like he'll be asking why they were late for dinner and he'll blurt out "we were at the waterpark!"

i dont think getting stan into trouble would be a game over for ford it'd just end the day, idk what the loss condition *would* be though

which is a good segway into my next mechanic, anger!!! if ford fucks up stan can get mad at him, which will make him more reckless when sneaking and slightly less willing to cover for him. not unreasonably so though it depends on the fuckup im so sorry for how much i swear wow

anyway this works the same way for stan as the player, if stan *did* white out ford's name on his report card and got him into trouble, ford might find out and confront stan which risks filbrick overhearing and finding out himself

also stan breaks the fourth wall occasionally. just because. he can react to some menus like the word "special" in his character select screen, and will comment about some missions like "hey, that's a good idea! ..that was my idea. that text up there stole my idea!"

also also cosmetics!!!!

they can give buffs, debuffs and cause little events during your day like going to the nurse for a headache from wearing the wrong glasses or the hat blowing away and being home from school late because you and stan had to go out and find it or you find a mysterious journal hidden deep within the woods

idk ive been working on this since i saw the post i had a lot of fun with it thank you for your time im just way too excited to post this to keep adding more

Had a dream last night about a gravity falls game where you play as young Stanley having to sneak around and lie to stay out of trouble with Filbrick. It wasn't really a horror game but it had a lot of horror game-like mechanics and there was a general sense of discomfort the entire time.

The only quest I can remember is one where Stanley gets a bad report card while Stanford gets a good one. Filbrick is out doing business until tomorrow so you have until the morning to try and make it look like you got good grades. There's an option to use white out on Stanford's card while he sleeps and write your name instead.

You could also get future readings from mom, who would give hints on what will happen to you next so you can start setting up lies and stealing in advance instead of scrambling to cover yourself last minute. (If you could figure out what the readings were hinting at. They got progressively more vague as the game went on, going from "I hear" and "I see", to "I feel")

You didn't get to see what happened when Filbrick caught him, it just cut to a game over screen. You could be caught and sent to your room three times before this happens (which ends the quest you're on. Because you failed to lie well enough). There is no way to win. The game would just keep going with scenarios until you lost or gave up

There was a vending machine on the board walk that had warped reflections in the glass that corrected itself when you looked at it head-on