#ughhhhhhhhh why does time. do that. to me personally

[le-fruit-de-la-passion]

FUCK we're the 28th already Jesus christ VIKTOR’S BIRTHDAY IS TOMMOROW

[skylar-325]

Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint Read Through

Ch 101-120

Beginning: Ch1-10

note: there’s a lot of cursing in today’s update so sorry about that, was just losing my mind over this damn book

also FUCK PAUL

———

"I agree. Did you see all the stars above his head? He is a monster."

> truly horrifying

"Are you going to kill me?" "I'd like to but Master will be sad."

> lmao jihye a real one

"Did you come with Yoo Joonghyuk?" "Huh? Why does ahjussi know everything?"

> clears throat dramatically

i’ll take this dokja.

you see he’s ga-

The lieutenant lifted the man with one hand and threw him to the other side of Han River.

> lmfao HYUNSUNG?????? 🤣

> why is everyone either in love with dokja or wants him dead. and then there’s yjh…

There was slight disappointment in Yoo Joonghyuk's eyes as he replied, "You don't seem to know a lot this time."

> bitch he’s doing his best 😭

"…Kim Dokja?" The surprised Yoo Joonghyuk looked down at my fallen self.

> ah when the suicidal dokja trauma started 😭

I smiled at Yoo Joonghyuk and told him, "Hey, kill me. You usually want to kill me."

> this hurts a lot worse after dkos 😭

"Wait Kim Dokja! It isn't too late." "It is too late." "It isn't!"

Yoo Joonghyuk made an expression that I hadn't seen for a long time. It was the expression he made when he first saw me on the subway. "I can't do it."

> why must y’all do this to me

i can’t do this nahsjejsjddjdn the suicidal dokja trauma is hitting me too

My vision blurred. I could see Yoo Joonghyuk trying to stop the bleeding but I had already lost too much blood.

> ok so like i know this a super sad moment…but tell me why this is giving y/n

Then I saw a person with a fearsome aura behind Shin Yoosung. 「 "I'm going to kill you, Shin Yoosung." 」

> I WILL AVENGE Y/N!

「 "…That guy." 」

「 "He is my companion." 」

> HE SAID IT HE SAID THE THING

Didn't this bastard know I was going to be resurrected?

> Dokja…istfg THINK

[The constellation 'Bald General of Justice' is blushing at your companionship.]

> oh i see you fellow fujo

> trust dokja to think the death of his companion would make yjh try to earn more coins

「 "Why call him a companion? Is it because he sacrificed himself for you? Just because of this?" 」

> and cuz he’s hot. i mean the sacrifice thing too but mostly cuz he’s hot af

「 "Then what about me and the others? Jihye unni and Hyunsung oppa. Seolhwa unni? What the hell are the people who fought with you?" "I… I don't know what you're talking about."

"There is only one thing I know." Yoo Joonghyuk wiped the blood from his lips and said. "You killed my companion in this round. Thus, you will also die." 」

> GUYS WTF

are you telling me…after all this time

yjh is actually a softie

wtf i’m crying

I was fooled by his acting. Yes, I read Ways of Survival for this taste. Come to think of it, I had been in tears when Yoo Joonghyuk said something similar to Lee Hyunsung.

> dokja my life my love plz stfu 😭

「 "Die. I will kill you." 」

> guys he’s so sad he’s going on a murderous rampage 😭

「 "Is it worth it for me to live?" 」 「 "Then what is the value of this life?" 」

> UGHHHHHHHHH STOP 😭

I looked around and saw my scattered items and clothing. It was lucky that no one had taken them. I started putting on my clothes when I heard an eerie voice behind me. "…Kim Dokja?"

> uh oh

I carried the injured Yoo Joonghyuk on my shoulder and rushed towards the frozen Han River.

> he’s princess carrying him. i know i was the han river

"So you also live that way, Shin Yoosung." "…What?" "If you want, I will bear your hatred."

> oh my god the character development 😭

At least, until the voice of the intermediate dokkaebi was heard. [I'm sorry but that's a bit difficult.]

> wait

[Incarnation Kim Dokja. You are the smartest and scariest out of all the incarnations I know.]

> yesss he is

A black aura rose from disaster Shin Yoosung's body. I hurriedly shouted, "Wait! What are you doing?"

> HOLD ON

[The personality of the character 'Shin Yoosung' will be fixed to 'evil'.]

> ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

WHY IS THIS D BAG PLAYING SIMS

"You have failed." "Don't touch the child." I hid the young Shin Yoosung behind my back. "I won't forgive you if you touch this child." Yoo Joonghyuk glared at me. "There is no other way."

> oh god make it stop

why are things spiralling

Who could swing a sword after seeing those eyes? The woman who wandered for over a thousand years and suffered. I had to kill her now.

> i hate EVERYTHING

"…Don't worry about me." Yoo Joonghyuk spilled blood on the floor as he stood beside me with the Splitting the Sky Sword.

> “dw bout me” leaks like a kool aid box

"Do it properly, Kim Dokja!" "I'm doing it!" "Dammit…"

>….

hey look if you got it then your mind’s filthy just as mine

Blood fell. I stared into Shin Yoosung's face. Just like in Ways of Survival, Shin Yoosung was smiling. I realized that she deliberately allowed herself to be hit by my sword.

> why am i putting myself through this again

The Judge of Destruction. 10 days later, Jung Heewon was much more restrained than I knew. She lightly patted my shoulders and moved. "Leave it to me and take a break."

> HEEWON MY LOVE

The archangel Uriel chose Jung Heewon as an incarnation.

> my bby has great taste fr

> i’m so sad about this fight but holy shit heewon is so cool

Yoo Joonghyuk turned around at these words. Then Yoo Joonghyuk's inner thoughts were conveyed to me. 「 I will get revenge for you. 」

> i don’t know what to say

dammit i hate good writers. they make me feel so much

[Intermediate dokkaebi 'Paul'. You shall be arrested for violating the Star Stream regulations.]

> LETS FUCKING GO FUCK YOU PAUL

[You will lose the achievement points of all the scenarios you have built up and will be demoted to a low-grade dokkaebi after your punishment…]

> DIE

[The constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' is looking at the intermediate dokkaebi 'Paul'.]

[The constellation 'Prisoner of the Golden Headband' is chuckling at the intermediate dokkaebi 'Paul'.]

[The constellation 'Secretive Plotter' is mocking the intermediate dokkaebi 'Paul'.]

> i love them just ganging up on fuckass paul

[Yes, the dokkaebi who reported you is Bihyung.]

> W Bihyung

[Dokkaebi Bihyung. He is a very good dokkaebi. Look at his humility. He has the integrity of a streamer who ignores everything and immerses himself in the scenarios. It is different from you and the dokkaebis who only wear luxurious clothing.]

> I…yes exactly bestie is the best. look at them gassing him up 🤩

Bihyung had a shy expression on his face. He didn't know that his poverty would help him in this way.

> LMAO

"I want a solo meeting with the intermediate dokkaebi Paul."

> OH I remember this

My fists descended towards the pale Paul. The damn scenarios I experienced so far passed through my head.

> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"I-I am outside the scenario! You can't earn coins by doing this! It won't benefit you!"

> fucking capitalist

The executive dokkaebis didn't like streamers. The executives who evolved from constellations were good at fighting but had no talent in leading the scenarios.

> upper management is the same no matter what species huh?

> the way new dokkaebis keep needing to replace official ones cuz dokja keeps messing around XD

Surprisingly, Yoo Sangah had already drank four bottles of soju.

> damn sangah heavy weight confirmed

It was clearly a face free of makeup but it was hard to find any blemishes. Yoo Sangah slowly leaned towards me. Her face was getting closer and closer.

> wait

wait wait WAIT

> fucking hell wine dude

> oh right the underworld arc

The person who died in the first scenario, Delusional Demon Kim Namwoon was in Hades' domain.

> oh no

the high schoolers back

I could see how good Bihyung was at handling things. He just slightly lacked intelligence…

> did…did he just call bibi stupid

[The king is uncomfortable with your sudden visit. That's why I thought it would be better for me to talk to you.]

> does he have social anxiety

I didn't know why the goddess of another country knew so much about Korean mean.

> maybe she’s into kpop? i know more than i should too XD

…■■■?

I was really confused.

> dude same. the censoring is harsher than chinese men kissing on tv

[I keep thinking this but… you look delicious.]

> she calling him a snack?

> oh never mind she calling him a meal

"You can call it a courtship." […Huh?]

> kdj just be flirting with everyone huh

is this revenge for yjh running off with lsw

[Hrmm, it is difficult. This is why males are…] "Of course, it isn't courting you but courting the Father of the Rich Night."

> this man is so gay

My heart felt pained. She must've been waiting for a long time. Even so, this child had to wait longer.

> AHHHH WHY ARE WE BACK TO THIS

GO BACK TO KDJ BEING GAY

I looked at her sleeping face and recalled Persephone's image. Then my face became hot. … By the way, the Chinese dress and garter belt… it was really great.

>… ok bi king

I looked around with a sigh and saw the King of Wanderers. She was watching me without saying a word. I could see a slight smile below her half mask.

> 🙁

The moment I broke the biscuit, one side of the tent exploded and the self-styled president of Yeouido fell down with a scream.

> so fucking dramatic JUST USE THE FRONT DOOR

I thought the second one would be me so I was naturally surprised. Well, I originally wasn't his companion so his other party members might be disturbed if he called me first. He might look cold but he looked after his people. I could understand that sentiment.

> oh you poor poor thing. you don’t know how badly you fucked up last night

The confused Lee Gilyoung was stunned for a moment but he stood in front of Shin Yoosung like he made a decision.

> adorable

…Then what about me? Why was he looking at me like that? I belatedly chased after him but Yoo Joonghyuk was already gone. How long did I stand there?

> oof rejection hurts doesn’t it buddy

"Ahjussi, didn't you meet with Master last night? I thought you would be the first on the list…" "What do you mean?" "Last night Master said he was going to see you?"

> this is literally out of a miscommunication fic

"That's strange? He definitely went to find you. He was also a bit angry when he came back."

> oh my god author you’re making this too easy

[The constellation 'God of Wine and Ecstasy' is making a playful expression.]

> fucking hell dude my ship is in danger because of you

"Companions, I think I understand." Lee Hyunsung unexpectedly interrupted. "Come to think of it, I would also feel offended if I saw Kim Dokja doing that."

> hyunsung bestie wanna share something with the class?

"…Yes? Why would Hyunsung-ssi feel bad?" Lee Jihye looked like she was going to get a nosebleed.

> lee jihye i know what you are

"Um… it make sense." Jung Heewon agreed. [The constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' is disappointed with her incarnation.]

> lmfao not everyone built for that fujo life uriel

I took a deep breath before saying to the King of Wanderers. "It has been a long time, Mother."

> ugh i’m not ready for this emotional roller coaster

"Do you know the book called the Underground Killer? It was previously on the Kyobo bestsellers list."

> ouch it was a best seller?

Yoo Joonghyuk stood next to me and said, "You came."

> kdj: you called

sorry

"You have a woman you love." "…What?"

> yjh: you’re straight

kdj: huh???

Yoo Joonghyuk stared at me quietly and said, "Certainly, I don't care if you die."

> you were losing your mind telling him it’s not too late when he had a hole in his body

————

yjh feels so much more fleshed out as a person and not just a emotion less machine is insane. god damn i love this book

next:

previous: ch93-110

beginning: ch1-10

[liliallowed]

Has Y/N met the Player yet in this "Bad End" Timeline?

Even if not, I feel like we as Y/N, (who seems slightly naive in this AU) would take pity on the little glowing red heart squirming in fear trapped in Sans' (Dust) hold. After all, it does seem oddly cute, maybe even squishable. It's so tiny too, what kind of Demon looks so tiny and harmless?

Since Y/N already seems to think lowly of Sans (Dust) in this timeline, if they ever even had a chance alone with the Player's soul while it's trapped, Y/N would free them and might come face to face with the player in their personally made vessel, the more demon looking one.

Yet the Player is still oddly non-threatening? What kind of demon is this?

At this point the "Bad End" timeline has been split in two due to Y/N's choice.

So it all depends on the Player now, what would they do after being freed from a near game over?

Sorry for rambling and if this made no sense lol I wanted to participate!

oh dust's gonna be PISSED hehehe

you had been here for months? days? years? it was hard to tell.

you could have quit and let the two love birds just... do whatever the hell they were up to but... you felt too stubborn to do so.

your obsession was a double edged sword and if it was one thing you were sure of... it was that you didn't know when to quit. hell, riding hood would have made an atomic battery of your determination if he wasn't so set or literally boring you to death.

you could spitefully wait AAAAAALLL ETERNITY-

you felt something click as light bled into your view. your soul, manifesting freely as a formless tether was reconnected... to your body... invisible string whipping around your heart shaped being as it manifested itself into existence.

you clenched your first... twisting your arm into a stretch... only to notice a familiar face.

your faceless head developed two red eyes staring at the human who had seemingly freed you.

they stared at you wish stubborn eyes that were looking for answers.

/oh. OH. this lil thing wants to know the whole truth does it? did those two have a fight? did he hide more from them? ooooh spicy dramaaaa!/

they smile at them with a knowing grin.

"ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck! " you yawn as you stretch your back aswell.

"t-ten THOUSAND!?" their eyes widen in shock.

"it's an Aladdin reference dummy. lighten up. I don't bite." you giggle.

"you're... wait you don't grant wishes fo you? is that why he keeps you here" they squint at you.

"mmmmaybeeee? maybe not! depends if I like ya!" you dangle your feet with a giddiness bubbling in your soul.

"can you actually revert time?" their squint turn into a glare.

"hmmm... well, yes. but not for those who forget. you guys are gonna experience time like... normally. once ya dead, ya dead." you make a silly double x eyes face with your tongue out.

"but that's not what you're asking is it? you wanna know the truth he's hiding right?"your eyes light up red with excitement.

"you're... a lot more... energetic than I thought."

...

...

"excuse me?"

"I mean I thought you'd have like... horns or... bat wings or a tail?"

"I can, if that's what you want actually. buuut I prefer keeping things simple. tails and props het in the way of... moving around" your soul hovers around her as your body shifts between different forms, all consistently in sync with the soul's movement.

"are you a demon?"

"aren't all demons just fallen angels in the end? what's the difference hehehehe"

"UGH WHY ARE YOU TWO SO FRUSTRATING!? JUST GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER!"

"awwww you think we're similar? I like you already! "

"I didn't... wait are you two similar? what is your deal with him?"

"he's an old friend. though... he doesn't see it that way."

"do you... eat souls or... like... what's the demon deal thing?"

"bold of you to assume it works that way."

"then tell me"

"don't wanna."

"UGHHHHHHHHH WHY ARE YOU TWO LIKE THIS I THOUGHT TALKING TO YOU WOULD FINALLY GET ME SOME ANSWERS!"

"you know the saying curiousity killed the cat? pretty sure you're biting of more than you can chew. I m g i v i n g y o u a n o u t."

"I'm already here. just tell me."

"oooh gutsy! and decisive. I like that! alright! I'll let you on about aaaaall the evil things me and your bone friend have been doing"

"HE'S NOT MY- WHY ARE YOU TWO SO ANNOYING!?? IS IT LIKE... YOUR JOB OE SOMETHING?"

"no but hearing your annoyed angry voice is almost as amusing as pissing off lver boy over there to stab me hehehehe"

"oh great you've also got loose screws."

"sure do! in fact I'd say I have more loose screws than him. not to brag but I am pretty good at being bad"

"if you're that evil then... why haven't you escaped? "

"... don't wanna."

"... you're scared of him aren't you"

"nuh-uh! IM STAYING HERE BY CHOICE."

"right. so if I leave you're not gonna possess me."

"nope. you're literally a bait he threw at me to catch me. I ain't falling for it."

"... he said you'd be a lot more violent."

"I can be! do you want me to be?"

"of course not! "

"psht. coward."

"I... I don't know what to do anymore it feels like no matter what I do I'm just a pawn in something else's game. I don't understand anything. WHY HIM, WHY ME. OR YOU. "

"... you're that desperate to know the truth? you might actually lose yourself you know. there's a reason he lies. he's trying to keep you safe."

"you wouldn't have said that if YOU were the thing he described."

"you don't know anything about me. stop pretending like you're some GRRRREAAAAT SAINT that has to save everyone. are you here to rub it in my face that you have his attention?"

"are... are you jealous? "

"NO! I'M... uh... I... no. you... uh... I.. "

"..."

"please put me back in the jar I think I want to die of shame."

[freshoutthaslammer]

ok i am about to be very vague but also very informative im sorry except no im not read at your own risk

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why is having a crush so FUCKING jarring why is it so FUCKING LIFE CONSUMING!!!! why do i wake up thinking about her and go to bed thinking about her and do thirty million thousand things THINKING ABOUT HER. and i can’t even do ANYTHING ABOUT IT despite my good friend alissa telling me to do so much about it but like they just don’t get it (they do) (we have a habit of getting ourselves into the others traumatic events) but i literally just can’t because i would rather save a friendship over start a relationship and Furthermore, I don’t think she likes me. but then every oomf ive told has said she does fuck why did i tell ANY OOMFS THATS HOW THIS ENDS NOOOOOOOOOO. every time i tell an oomf about my crush they die out because the universe likes to punish me for talking about my feelings?? apparently??? like omg wdym i can’t even twirl my hair and gossip with my gfs about my crushes because you’re gonna turn around and MAKE THEM GHOST ME!!!!???? she hasn’t yet but im sensing it coming in fact she’s going to telepathically know i’ve posted this here and ghost me because she thinks im crazy for posting about a crush on her that she doesn’t know i have on a social media website she’s not on. God.

but anyways i literally just want this crush to go away because i don’t want to lose a friendship OR i need her to confess back to me with quickness because Lord Knows I’m Not About To Do That… i am not a confrontational person goodness me im not about to tell a girl i like her are you people crazy?!?!?!? but i don’t think she will because of Reasons i cannot explore right now but you guys just have to trust me BUT THEN ALSO MAYBE SHE DOES again for Reasons i cannot explore. UGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

[sweetofsin]

ALSO I MISS THEM FUCKKKKKKKKKKK IM TRYING SO HARD NOT TO GO BACK ON MY WORD ... IK THIS IS WHATS BEST FOR ME IK I DESERVE BETTER THAN A SITUATIONSHIP BUT FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK I JUST WANR THEM SO BADDD UGHHHHHHHHH JUST LET ME WIFE YOU UP DAMN

Yes yes i know love is about accepting and surrendering and releasing it's just like Fuck

It sucks when like understanding and acknowledging and compassion can only go so far ..... like sometimes it does help for me to temper myself and step outside of myself. Other times I'm like Ok salem yes you're allowed to have compassion and grace and completely understand where someone is coming from and why they're choosing what they choose. Simultaneously you are still your own person too and you are a lover that deserves mutual commitment and devotion!!! Like i may be a gemini venus n all but it's in the 8th house babes ... In the beginning yeah idgaf but WHEN I DO... I AM LOCKED DOWN IDK

I don't believe in right person wrong timing like okay kinda i guess i can see that but i also feel like the right person would find a way to want to make the timing right yk? Ik there's no such thing as blanket statements as "right person" but yk. My point is, there is someone out there where they are in a position of life where they feel more willing to overcome their fears, traumas, triggers, and open their heart up more to be able to love me in the committed way i desire. And i'm not in a rush fr. It's not like I need to be in a partnership by tomorrow. I'm also content with being single. Although i am going to miss certain aspects of intimacy that are not as easily found with friendships sigh....

IT JUST FUCKING SUCKSSSS LIKE WHY IS 12H SYNASTRY LIKE THIS IM GOJNG TO KAY MY ESS

But it's fine

It's honestly kinda out of my hands now like I'm not about to convince anyone to surrender for me. It's when they want to. And if they feel like their current wants and desires and needs are more important and valuable than a romantic connection with me then who am i to beg and say to consider otherwise? Ima be like u got it. And just learn to pour all this sappy ass love i have into me. And my loved ones. I mean they're still a loved one, but yk.

Sigh just give me the strength bc i want to give into temptation so baddddd but at the same time i'm trying my best to learn love is discipline it is recognizing to not follow your every whim and desire it is recognizing when you can release certain standards or expectations but also have to be firm about others and it's just FUCKING SIGH. Why did they have to be so lovable and beautiful and just why does love constantly seem to slip from my hands... that poem about love being elusive when it really doesn't have to be but the world and it's dysfunction makes it that way be wanting to BASH MY HEAD AGAINST A WALL BC I HATE THAT THEYRE RIGHT

Like idk what's worse like being in romantic relationships but being treated like shit or constantly being close to being in romantic relationships but something happens and it slips away before you were even able to really revel in the beauty and the joy of it all

I mean i did anyway but also Yes i would've loved to been able to wash the dishes with you and read books with you by a fireplace and gaze under stars with you and maybe a kid Ok im done fr im done sorry my brain is just rambling i gotta release so i can sleep heh

[kyn19]

g

[saintobio]

i am honestly SPEECHLESS again… what the actual fuck. too much for my heart saint😭😭 all the surprises got me shook and im sorry for the long ass rant but let me go step by step:

this was shocking but expected… i just knew that eula didn’t really love her husband. she literally just used him to climb up. also that knowing smirk she had the other day when y/n was there… she knew about everything. mei mei… ofc. just like her canon self doing anything for money. as much as i dislike satoru, i dislike his dad and stepmom even more. idk if to wish for they downfall or not bc gojo’s dad deserves it but gojo kinda doesn’t. i feel so conflicted bc i actually love satoru but can’t help but feel hate and unpleasantness for him bc of his actions. the way he treated y/n when she didn’t do anything to him. the fact that it is bc of him that her heart condition has been getting worse. he has hurt her so much even i have spilled tears over his shit. but his stepmom is a horrible horrible person. satoru being the way he is is related to her; mostly his dad but also her. so like i truly dont know how to feel about this😭

always reading about him makes me happy… i love this dilf so much. i truly want y/n to fuck him just once. please saint😩😩😩

are you one of those countless men toji??😩 do you wanna show y/n what you’re thinking about? wanna treat her right??😏😏😏😏

wym that would never happen?!!! toji baby, dont be so pessimistic🙄🙄 i just know in an alternative reality him and y/n together and you cant change my mind🙄. though i’ll admit that toji knowing about naoya and eula and not telling y/n makes me feel some type of way… does toji know about eula’s plan?? like he doesn’t have to tell y/n but still idk it’s confusing😭😭 saint you got my feelings all over the place.

im usually all over a man being possessive but it doesn’t suit satoru. he has no right to feel possessive considering he a cheater who always put his mistress before his wife. like the audacity of this man bro. he too comfortable. im sorry but its too late for this shit.

i know y/n didn’t mean it as a payback for what he did with the diana shoes but YASSSSSS🤪🤪🤪 this got me so happy knowing he got a taste of his own medicine. but he still had it in him to get upset like man… have you got no shame??😭😭 he truly wants to act like he didn’t do shit and as if y/n is the one stepping over the line. y/n got so much patience i could never. also y/n talking about how she would never cheat back.. respect for my girl bc i would have cheated back a long ass time ago. or maybe gotten a divorce and be a single woman who can freely fuck toji or even better, just marry toji. especially during these times satoru acting like he cares so that it stings him more😹 i wanna see him crying

i literally cried reading this… i feel so bad for y/n bro. like why cant she catch a break? my poor baby😢😢 this is why im always saying i ship her with toji. every time.. every single time you get too comfortable with satoru this shit happens. it’s literally every time. its too much for her and she might truly end up dying like this😔

YOU FUCKER! YOU MOTHER.FUCKER!! I WILL REIGN HELLFIRE UPON YOU!! UGHHHHHHHHH I HATE THIS BITCH SO MUCH. SAINT PLEASE ALLOW ME TO DRAG THIS WHORE PLEASE. I CANT TAKE THIS. I CANT!! THE AUDACITY! i do not give a fuck that it is understandable where she is coming from. she is a fucking whore that deserves the worst. how dare she talk this way about y/n??? not even the evil stepmom talks shit about y/n like this stupid ugly racist stupid poor dumb lizard ass wrench does!! like how dare she??!! she doesn’t even love him or care about his problems to be getting so hurt. she just mad no other rich man would lower himself with a disgusting piece of shit like her. she is literally dog shit that you scrape off your shoe. stupid ass whore. i hate her.

this was honestly very shocking to me… i did not expect mr.gojo to end things with her. i truly did not. i thought it would take longer for him to do this since there are so many chapters left but now i see what the other chapters gonna be about. there’s so much more than just y/n, gojo and sera.

(TW.SUICIDE)TOXIC MUCH?!!! what the actual fuck???😧😧😧 this bitch really pulled the suicide card😹😹 as if we care, do me a favor sera and actually kill yourself. you’ll be doing the world a favor😹😹 wait actually no bc then there’s her family depends on her😔 ugh thats the only reason why ill try to not wish death upon her. her poor (no pun intended) sweet mom. i hit the 10 image limit but what does she mean she will make us pay?🤨🤨🤨 bro i can see this bitch teaming up with eula but idk since her hate is towards y/n and eula’s plan mostly affects satoru but then again sera doesn’t really love satory and is just in love with the idea of him so hmmm. IM SO SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS WAS SAINT BUT BEFORE I SUBMIT THIS LET ME JUST SAY I LOVE YOU! thank you so much for this amazing story. this story is one of the few things i always look forward to.

HAHAH what a very detailed reaction!! thank u very much for sending these through <33 enjoyed reading them !! :’)

[katierosefun]

so after one really big latte, a muffin, a run which resulted in a near accident with an oncoming car, and a shower in which i contemplated my own mortality, here’s my thoughts on the adorable me & au podcast, because babe wake up new hyperfixation dropped. very spoiler-y, i’m sorry in advance for how f*cking long this is, this might only have like two people reading this but i have many thoughts please listen to this podcast because it’s so cute and i listened to it all in about 2.5 hours? 

- firstly: the main character is super relatable. like, scary relatable. meet kate “acunningplan” cunningham, a gal about to enter her senior year of college and just kinda,,,lost. she works as a barista and very confused, very...stuck gal by day, fic writer (and still very stuck gal) by.........not barista hours. 

- honestly, i love kate. idk i’m about to enter my senior year of college, and bro i related so hard to her fears of “bro i can’t even think about next week without feeling overwhelmed”. she misses her best friend whitney a lot, who is currently on the other side of the country for an impressive internship. so that can be kinda lonely. 

- but fear not, kate has an escape, like so many other fic writers/fandom people: fanfic. this whole story references tumblr without actually naming tumblr (let’s be real....it’s tumblr, from the “notes” to “this stupid app keeps crashing”), and kate follows this tv show about werewolves and supernatural creatures. very gay. only problem is that there’s not a whole ton of people active in the fandom, since this show is relatively new. 

- however, in this small fandom, kate meets ella: otherwise known as “hella-enchanted”, who is another fic writer. 

- kate is very obsessed with the idea of alternate universes, and for that alone, i love her.

- okay, so even if you’ve never fallen in love with a person online/in fandom circles, i just wanna say that ella and kate’s interactions are still so super relatable. the shooting messages, the starting random conversations and getting a little thrill when you see someone liking your personal post or whatever. it’s very wholesome. 

- also, at the end of episode 1, kate goes on about how “yeah, fanfic is kinda odd, but it led me...to you” and it was so soft and gentle you just know your heart is gonna melt huh 

- at one point, kate decides to be vulnerable via vent post about something that came up on the show (and oh god yeah i feel...things. kate relates very hard to one character in the tv show she’s following, and tbh,,,yeah. i can’t quite word it right now, but i think anyone who feels kinda.....stuck? would relate.) 

- the “EXACTLY ONE PERSON ASKED FOR THIS ESSAY SO HERE IT IS” please

- also oh :’)))) kate talks about ella’s playlists and when i tell you i squeaked a little bit because oh hey--

- anyways lol yes can you relate to like,,,posting a vent post and forgetting to delete it and being mildly horrified (but also mildly touched) when someone actually responds?

- ella’s very sweet, just responds with “seems like one of my favorite fandom people needed a pick-me-up” and :’))) i would die for ella! (i mean, i would die for all the characters) 

- okay yes also all the bits where ella and kate scream at each other about fic. very relatable, very real, you can tell that the writers of this podcast really knew this feeling, and i just :’)))

- THE TWO DEBATE OVER TITLES,,,,,kate keeps sending in crack-y titles and also song lyrics, and ella comments on “well,,,i just read this whole wikipedia page, so i think i’ve lost the high ground”, so if y’all KNOW i started laughing at that 

- also LMAOOOO the moment when conversation diverts from fic and fandom to slightly more personal things! kate being like “oh,,,,,you have an actual job! like,,,you’re an actual adult and.....how’s that?” and then quickly rambling on via message “actually let me change the topic because that’s probably too personal”...

- okay so there’s this bit where ella drops the fact that she’s never read anne of green gables because “listen,,,,you have an ex-girlfriend who sang the anne of green gables musical all the time--” and kate’s “.......ex-girlfriend? you had an ex-girlfriend? girl--” (and BACKSPACING ALL OF THAT because “god i’m such a freak”) 

- much gay disaster

- so much gay disaster

- opportunity for kate and ella to meet irl comes up! at a fan convention! in toronto! (and kate lives in bc). kate’s best friend (remember, internship one?) invited kate over to toronto for this thing anyways, and then ella posts something about “heeeey i’m gonna be in the area so if anyone wants to meet up for the fan convention...” 

- let me just say......kate chucking her phone across the room because she freaked out about that. again. very cool, very nicely done, very relatable, etc. 

- ALSO,,,,i forget if this was one of kate or ella’s fics or if it was the actual tv show, but there’s this tidbit where the characters in the literal fandom has this conversation: 

“don’t waste your time.” 

“what?” 

“don’t waste your time on me.” 

and the way that reflects kate’s feelings-but-she’s-not-trying-to-think-about-it for ella please let me just die here

- okay, so kate does decide to message ella about the meet-up, and let me just tell you, kate’s inner monologue about the worst possibilities for ella’s responses: 

“1. no response. which is terrible. 

2. you find out you’re not wanted after all. :(((((

3. the most terrifying response of all.......” (an enthusiastic “yes i’m so glad we can meet up!!!”) 

- well, of course ella responds with #3. 

- gay disaster kate not knowing how to acknowledge her feelings for ella...she goes on this “you don’t wanna come across as....y’know because if they suspect that....y’know.....and like, i don’t....y’know--” oh my god kate 

- anyways, kate works at a coffeeshop, right? and her co-worker stewart (nonbinary pansexual co-worker! we love to see the rep!!) being like “oh yeah maybe you can bring over your friend!” and kate panicking because “ohhhhh i’m not too sure about that,,,,she’s,,,,,,,,,busy......” (ie. the awkward moment of having to explain that,,,,,,your online friend isn’t exactly someone you’ve met in real life,,,,,,,,and not sure exactly how to explain that so you just,,,,,,“ohhhh uhhh......y’know...............it’s really hard to.......get her out of.....work.....” 

- kate and ella video-chatting for the first time is very cute, very gay. very gay. 

- they swap “how’d you know you were gay / liked girls” stories :’))) 

- “that’s a cute story!” “you’re a cute story” [awkward silence] “please let me hide under the desk now” (have i mentioned that kate’s  a disaster? i love her, but you’re a disaster. we need to be best friends.)

- kate.....describing herself as “irl fanfic disaster waiting to happen” and the whole “i didn’t know we were actually dating until she asked if she could kiss me” lmaoooooooooo (but okay yes this is also a mood? like,,,,,,idk something about heteronormative standards so like,,,,,it’s so stupidly hard to figure out if a girl is flirting with you or if they’re just being nice i am glad kate’s such a disaster) 

- in other news: kate’s “how tf do i write a kiss scene i don’t like the word lips ughhhhHHHHH” (yeah, mood kate) 

- lmao stewart (kate’s co-worker!) just chilling with kate and being like “oh yeah i figured you had a girlfriend? the one you’re talking about? ella?” and kate blanking because “wait you thought ella was my girlfriend? she’s not....uhhh....” and then later drinking with stewart and rambling about ella and panicking because “what if she realizes i can’t talk about anything except this tv show what if she thinks i laugh too loud what if i have horrific body odor what if she realizes i have NOTHING to say what if our meeting goes SO terribly that i need to deactivate and change my name just so i could like her posts at 3 am” and then her small “please forget i said any of that” 

- oh kate :(((( 

- kate :((((((

- k a t e :(((((((((((((((((((

- anyways, kate does go to toronto. 

- meets ella. 

- very cute. 

- ella...........very gay. they go into a coffeeshop and kate doesn’t know what to do. 

- okay but what’s hilarious is that ella,,,,,seems so cool and suave and i too would be kind of intimidated by her but then these two idiots really talk about writing kissing scenes and the build-up and ella’s voice gets all,,,,,,suggestive and there’s this.....awkward gay silence between the two oh my GOD they’re both IDIOTS 

- also okay yes kate and whitney, a irl friend, having a heart-to-heart. good. we love that. also, whitney being like “I MISSED YOU!!! YOU IDIOT!!!! and i’m glad you have a new friend, and you’re happy, but I MISSED YOU!!! I HATE THIS CITY AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!!!” (whitney is also very relatable. ily whitney.) 

- they’re so cute. they hug, and it’s sweet :’)) also, then kate says in a stupidly small voice “i think i’m....kinda in love with [ella]?” and whitney being best supportive friend-- 

- OKAY so we finally get an episode of ella’s perspective 

- listen, you’re gonna think ella’s this cool, suave person who has all her own gayness put together (i mean, she kinda knew since she was 9 or 10 years old? she’s had a girlfriend? she seems like she has her life together? she’s waiting to get into grad school? she has a job? she just seems....cool and knows what she’s doing). 

- but then you realize. ella is just as much a pining mess. (her bullet point list/schedule in her head is so relatable. as someone who uses her notes and reminders app religiously, that was just :’))) 

- ella: reasons why this is not a date. and then....kate sends a message. (ella: reason why this....might be a date....kate keeps saying stuff like...that.) 

- kate rehearsing how to tell ella that she maybe kinda likes her? very cute. (”you know the feeling in your chest when....uh, you know when you feel like you have a frog in your stomach--oh god not the frog NOT the frog”) 

- the love confession is very cute, and also very relatable. “i like you a lot” “i like you too!” “no i mean,,,,like i like you. wait. which like do you mean? wait that’s not english. uh. what did you say?” 

- kate’s “I HAD A WHOLE DRAMATIC FANFIC CONFESSION PLANNED OUT” 

- kate and ella just spilling everything made me :’))) 

- “i like how your brain works” “i made so many posts hoping that you would just talk to me” “you always make me laugh” “you just make me feel...better” “you make me smile” 

- “this whole summer you’ve been making me smile and i guess it kind of freaked me out? ...i don’t know where my life is going but if i have a choice, i want to go in any direction you’re going because you are cute and smart and amazing and i like you a lot, ella. like that. so yeah. that’s what i was thinking i’d say.” 

- i essentially explaine dthe whole plot but 

- i love this podcast a lot

- it was very sweet

- and very cute

- very wlw 

- i don’t even mind that i almost got hit by a car while i was running and listening to this it was worth it 

- idk. just like. anyone who’s ever read or written fic or just like...not necessarily fallen in love with another person? but at least relating to that feeling of “oh god i am not qualified to talk to this person” and “oh god what if they realize i’m actually,,,,a loser” and “oh god wait how to friend” can probably hit a lot of people

- but that said. the romance was very cute, very sweet, makes me :’))) 

- okay i’ll stop talking now but i just. it’s very cute, very relatable, i wish we had a season 2 but i think it’s a limited series. (but they’re living rent free in my head! forever!)

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 08 + 09.11.20 lbs

08.11.20

lmaoooooooo i really love the ice cold way siya operates in. truly a raisinghania sib!

“siya chal sakti hai!!!” behen, iss ghar mein tumhare dimaag ki alaava sab kuch chalta hai.

dadi trying to cheer raja band baja hua beta up with his favt. chole bhature. he doesn't seem like the kind who'd eat that kinda food, but ok.

CHOLE BHATURE ARE NOT CHEERING HIM UP. MATLAB MAAMLA SERIOUS HAIIIIII.

lmao he's literally twisting and turning in place like kids do when they have a tantrum. i mean, i like it. it shows a more human side to the character, ki just how much anguish and helplessness he's feeling.

dadi like babe, you can't control everything in life, stop being such a bloody control freak ki things not going your way turn you like this.

blah blah anguished rant on how he lost something so important to him.

dadi giving cliche ~~~if it's meant to be yours, it'll come back to you~~~ advice. which is kinda working on him. huh. all kindsa out of sorts behaviour.

“jab tuney kisi ke saath galat nahi kiya hai, toh tere saath galat kyun hoga?” uh okkkkkkkkkkk, that's not how life works. bad shit happens to good ppl all the time. also, he's done lotsa galat shit ok. what did riddhima do for this fucker to paralyse her huh?????? YEH SAB USSI KA NATEEJA HAI. BHUGAT AB.

carbs therapy. BEST HAI. ALWAYS WORKS. IT'S SCIENCE, BITCHES.

dadi saying why don't you talk to riddhima about your issues, and lol he's whining about she dgaf about him coz she left him alone last night when he asked her not to.

dadi left praying ki hey bhagwaan these two fucks’ relationship is in your hands now, this is beyond human interference.

kabir being informed of new developments and accusation of kidnapping ragini is being heaped on siya. BASED ON WHAT EVIDENCE YOU STUPID TWIT??????? THAT SHE CAN WALK??????? SO CAN EVERYONE ELSE YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!!

“mujhe usse vansh ke aage expose karna hoga.” LMAO BITCH EXPOSE YOURSELF FIRSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

“tum kya mujhe expose karogi? expose toh main tumhe karungi!” YES SIYAAAAAAAAA FUCK  HER UPPPPPPPPPP

NOICE. WE LOVE A FIERCEASS SISTER WHO’S READY TO KILL FOR HER SIBLINGS. ESP. WHEN IT’S THE SCARY BIG BROTHER WHO’S EVERYONE’S PROTECTOR.

siya saying she just miraculously got cured a few days ago, and was waiting to surprise everyone. sounds sus, but whatever.

but also what kinda terrribleasssssss physiotherapist is riddhima that she didn’t even identify her patient’s progress?????

LMAO SIYA POL KHOLING OF VANSH BHAIYYA SAYING HE MADE HER DO ALL THE SHADY MASK SHIT. “TO KEEP RIDDHIMA SAFE”. haaaan behen, khooooob safe rakha tumne, baar baar behosh karke. pehle se hi iska dimaag nahi chalta, now you’ve managed to give her some kinda degenerative brain disease.

i love how vansh didn’t bother to ask siya how she stopped riddhima’s plans and knocked her out multiple times if she’s in a wheelchair. there’s literally only one person in a wheelchair in this house?!?!?!!!!!! wouldn’t riddhima KNOW who the person in the mask is???? god vansh. you’re such a dumbass.

lellllllllllllllllllllllllll i am livingggggggggg for siya reading riddhima to filth with a knife in her hand THIS IS THE BEST SCENE OF THIS SHOW YET. esp in her small, child-like voice, it’s fucking amazing.

riddhima admitted to being a spy, AND SIYA RECORDED IT ALSO. OMFG SHE’S MY NEW FAVE CHARACTER I LOVE HER THE MOST.

i wish vansh was the person he is to siya, instead of the fucker he actually is. she literally thinks the worldddddddddddd of him. ugh, i am so soft for this relationshippppppp.

but i also wanna know what the ishani/siya relationship is like? we hardlyyyyyy see them interact. like, we even see aryan push her wheelchair around sometimes, but ishani neverrrrrrr interacts with siya. why????

ugh riddhima managed to convince her that she really cares for vansh and is trying to do the right thing. she’s literally asking her to kill her rn if she doesn’t trust her. baby sis you’re farrrrrrrrr too trusting.

“mera dimaag tumpe trust karne se rok raha hai, riddhima, par jiss dil ne tumhe bhaabi bola haina, woh tumhe ek mauka dena chahta hai. ek aakhri mauka. iss baar mera bharosa mat todna. 24 ghante hai tumhare paas. apni taqdeer badal sako toh badal lo warna yeh audio main vansh bhaiyya ko suna doongi.” SERIOUSLY, WHERE WERE THEY HIDING THIS MOST SAYAANI CHARACTER OF THE SHOW TILLLLLL NOW????????!

riddhima has a condition for siya too. i think i know what it is.

omg vansh IS COLLAR PAKADKE YELLING AT ANGRE IN THE WORST WAYYYYYYY POSSIBLE. god vansh, you’re honestly the fucking worstttttttttttttttttttt. angre you need to take up work with someone else, istg, you don’t deserve this shit. kabir treats his sidekick so much better. yet another point in the kitty for kabir >>>>>> vansh.

seriously, why would you wanna blindfold this dude when he’s in THIS mood????? save it for the bedroom, sis.

empty wheelchair dekh ke he’s yelling at everrrrrrrryone ki how could they leave siya alone somewhere. god. i can’t imagine having to live with such a toxic personality.

everyone in the house is soooooo happy for siya. like, aryan’s not beaming as much as the others, but he does look kinda pleased. BECAUSE SIYA IS BEST CHARACTERRRRRRR OF THIS SHOW EVERYONE LOVESSSS HERRRRR.

oh my heart, i am so softttttttt for sibling shit like this. he’s hugging her with suchhhhhhhhhhhh fierceeee affection, i’m crying happy tearsssssss.

heart eyes for riddhima who supposedly cured her. pls. she did nothing. jo bhi karna tha, siya ne khud kiya hai. iss ridhimma manhoos ko jasoosi se kab fursat mili to do PT with siya and cure her???

siya being gracious and giving credit though. ugh, honestly, this show and this family don’t deserve siya.

lmao she’s saying vansh brought riddhima in though, so actually allll the credit goes to bhaiyya for intimidating this poor woman into treating his sister against her will.

THE AFFECTION. THE SHEER MAGNITUDE OF HIS LOVE FOR HERRRR. I CRIEEE. THIS IS THE ONLY RELATIONSHIP THAT MATTERS TO ME IN THIS GODFORSAKEN SHOW.

anupriya giving some fakeass congrats. i hope siya tells vansh that she was the one who pushed her down the stairs a while back. aur kuch nahi toh just for that vansh is gonna kill her dead.

riddhima and vansh still all tense and sad about the ragini thing. OUFF JUST LIVE IN THE MOMENT YOU FUCKS.

I LOVE HER. I FUCKING LOVE HER. BEST RAISINGHANIA HAI YEH.

———————————————————————

09.11.20

riddhima back at kabir’s to try and find ragini. ughhhhhhhhh i’m just so done with this nonsense. we already KNOW that kabir and anupriya still have her based on the precap from like 2, 3 days ago.

lol kabir is so pissed at riddhima and her dimaag chalaana. a mood we ALL share.

kabir trying to turn riddhima against siya and riddhima’s like NOOOO SHE COULD NEVER, “USKI AANKHEIN USKI AWAAAZ SAAF SAAF KEH RAHI THI KI WOH SACH BOL RAHI HAI!” uh huh, yeah, like kabir’s are rn????? and vansh’s were before he paralysed you? just a suggestion i’m throwing out there: is it possible that perhaps, just maybe, you’re just very fucking stupid, riddhima, and tend to trust people too easily????

OUFF I’M SO BORED WITH THIS SCENE. we already know from the precap that ragini will knock down a vase but riddhima will never find out what caused it and kabir will make some lame excuse she’ll believe. FWDING TO NEXT.

JESUS CHRISTTTTTTTT, SIYA IS JUST WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE RANDOMLY LISTENING TO THAT AUDIO CLIP OF RIDDHIMA’S CONFESSION. AND SHE WALKS RIGHT INTO VANSH, WHO’S LIKE HUH, WHAT’S THAT RIDDHIMA IS SAYING?????

siya brushes it off saying its exercise stuff for her PT. sure. uh huh.

OH MY HEART HE GOT HER HEEEEEEELS, WHICH SHE’S ALWAYSSSSSSS WANTED. THIS BHAIYYA-BABY RELATIONSHIP IS GONNA TAKE ME DOWN GODDAMNITTTT. ITNE DIN BAAAAAAAAAAAD ITNI ACHCHI SIBLING FEELS MILI HAI ITV SEEEEEEE.

bhaiyya knows baby enough ki she’s hiding something from himmm. oh noeeeeeeeeeee.

damn, siya a real one. didn’t give out riddhima’s secret coz she wants to give her a fair chance. again, this show does not deserve this character. she’s too good for it.

she says she just believes in him and knows he’ll find whoever murdered mom. 

SOFT. SO SOFT. MY HEART IS SO FULL WHENEVER THESE TWO SHOW LOVE TO EACH OTHERRRRR.

idhar ragini ki marammat shuru. y’all are just exhausting me with this bs. isse maarna hai toh maaro already. ainvayi mein time waste.

oh dangggggggg, ragini batting for riddhima. saying i know she’ll fuck y’all up. dang, we love the sisterhood feels of this episode!

“aap ke liye SPECIAL INTEZAAM kiya hai maine.” said with the most polite customer service obsequiousness. I LOVE THIS PSYCHOPATH THE MOSTTTTTTTTTT.

ragini warning them that once vansh finds out everything, they’re as good as dead. wow, spunky!!!! dude i like her as a female lead better than stupid fucking riddhima. 

“hmmmmmm, you’re right. lekin usse batayega kaun???” honestly, why do i love his deranged ass so much????

anyway mishra has been delegated the task of stashing her somewhere else i guess. so it’s settled that mishra knows he’s not working for the CBI or whatever and is just a hired goon.

dadi is organizing YET ANOTHER POOJA. lordddddd.

this riddhima and her dumbass mandir jaana excuse that she uses constantly.

“bhagwaan tum jaisi bahu sab ko de!” OMFG DADI PLS, GOD FORBID. ISSE ACHCHA AAPKE BETE KUNWAARE MARR JAAYE!

ugh dadi your bloody pota needs a fucking therapist, it isn’t in riddhima’s hands to fix his 1001 mental issues.

great, mangalsutra almost broke. foreshadowing.

ughhhhh mummy managed to steal the memory card from aryan. FUCKING IDIOT I THOUGHT YOU HAD PUT IT IN THE BLOODY BANK ALREADY, BUT NO. HE WAS STILL HOLDING ON TO IT AND TALKING ABOUT IT LOUDDDDDDDDLY ON THE PHONE. jesusssss, why he so fuckinggggg stupid????

oh now vansh is exclaiming GREATTTTTTT JOB ANGREEEE as if he didn’t tell him to GTFO, THE VERY SIGHT OF YOU DISGUSTS ME yesterday. fuck, i really hate vansh as anything but a brother to siya.

aaaaaaand riddhima was standing behind him and he turned around and in a veryyyyyyy contrived move got his watch caught in her mangalsutra and broke it.

sis freaking about THE APSHAGUN!!!!!!!!!!!

he’s like arre nahi achcha shagun hai, angre got the cctv footage now i’ll know who kidnapped ragini! and sis is like OH GOD NO THE BAD LUCK IS STARTING ALREADY I’M SO DEADDDDDDD

“toh main tumhe kho dungi.”

lmao his face. literally the white guy blinking meme.

god she’s having a freakout about how their shaadi and rishta is in khatra. BITCH THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MS AND INSTEAD THE MOUNTAIN OF LIES YOU ARE SITTING ON AND YOUR EK DARJAN KE INCOMPATIBILITY ISSUES AS INDIVIDUALS.

”tum jaanti ho riddhima, tumahra ek ek aansoon mere liye kitna keemti hain? aisa lagta hai jaise mere dil ke ek tukde ko tod ke alag kar diya ho.”

OH YEAH????? DIDN’T FEEL ANYTHINGGGGG WHEN YOU PARALYSED HER HUH????????? IT’S GONNA BE A LONGASSSSS TIME BEFORE I GET OVER THAT, BITCH BOY.

yeah yeah ok this is a nice moment and all. WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THIS DUDE, HUH?????? WHY’D YOU HAVE TO RUIN ALLLLLLLLLL THE GOOD WILL YOU BUILT UP BY KARWA CHAUTH IN ONEEEEEEE MOMENTTTTTTT?????? fuck, i hate you tellywood men and the shit they put my stupid heart through.

only bappa ki aarti shall fix things now. based on the promo and BTS i’ve seen, things about to get reallllllly realllllllly bad but............ lol let’s wait and watch.

ragini managed to sneak mishra’s phone outta his pocket. SEE????? SO ENTERPRISING!!!!!! I LIKE HER SO MUCH MORE THAN RIDDHIMA. GOD VANSH, THIS IS THE GIRL YOU SHOULD HAVE MARRIED. SHE’S REALLY THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY.

she’s callllllllllling vanshhhh. BUT AARTI KI WAJAAH SE HE CAN’T HEAR THE PHONEEEEEE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

here, have some dhaarmik #couple goals to take the edge off the anxiety till the next episode.

———————————————————————

precap: omfg ragini got through to riddhima and she almost told her that kabir is behind kidnapping her, but kabir got to her and attacked her from the back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DOUBLE OMFG SIYA OVERHEARD MUMMY ON THE PHONE BRAGGING ABOUT KILLING THEIR MOM AND CALLS VANSH TO TELL HIM ABOUT IT!!!!! LIKE SHE TOLD HIM THE NAME ALL CLEARLY AND THAT SHE HEARD IT FIRSTHAND!!!!!!!! VANSH SEEMS TO BE GIVING NO REACTION THO????????????

TELL ME THAT BOTH THESE PHONE CALLS WERE NOT MADE ON SOME FUCKING GHATIYA NETWORK LIKE IDEA AND THE REQUIRED PPL HEAR EVERYTHING THEY NEED TO!!!!!!!! (high hopes, i know. 😔😔😔)

[noreasonjustbored]

The Truth Is The Scariest Part

Hi! I’m here with something that no one requested but the concept was stuck in my head because I’m Chenry Trash.

If anyone wants to be tagged whenever I upload a fic, please respond to this post and I will do that going forward. Hope you enjoy!

———————————

Everyone had given it a shot and told their best scary stories to no avail. Henry was still unbothered and bored sitting in the Story Tank. After Piper took her turn, she went back to the table with Charlotte and Jasper to help them put Henry’s steaks back into the Bromaha box. They wouldn’t be needing them.

“Can I take this thing off?” Henry whined.

“No you can not!” Ray exclaimed.

“UGHHHHHHHHH” Henry groaned. “Just face it Ray, I won this challenge.”

“I will not face anything! I WILL be chowing down on those delicious steaks.” Ray declares.

Henry simply rolled his eyes in response.

“Well I have a story for you, but it’s not mine” Schowz says with a sly look on his face.

“Okay? What’s the story? I’m sure that I won’t be scared.” Henry replies with the utmost confidence.

“Charlotte told me a great story earlier this week about a guy.”

“Alright. What’s the story about? This guy a ghost or something?” Henry asks.

“No. Just some guy in her class. And he is definitely alive.”

What’s so scary about a guy in Charlotte’s class? Henry thought.

“Who’s alive?” Ray wonders.

“Just a boy that Charlotte was telling me about. She says that he’s super cool.”

Through the immersion, Henry sees an image of Schowz and Charlotte on the Man Cave couch.

“So what did you want to talk to me about Charlotte? A new device? An update for a old device?”

“No, I just wanted to tell you about this super cool guy.”

“Oh, alright girl. Tell me more. Spill the coffee as you kids say.”

“You mean tea?”

“Tea, coffee they both have caffeine. What’s up with this boy? Is he your boyfriend?”

While Henry is in deep thought and not paying them any attention, Schowz walks over to the Story Tank monitor to check on Henry’s Fear-inol levels. The levels were rising slowly. 

I knew that would work! I’m a genius! Schowz thinks to himself.

He looks over at Ray and gestures to the monitor with a slight nod in its direction. Schowz then gives Ray a wink to signal for him to play along. Ray winks back to let him know that he understands.

They’ve both noticed that Henry has been a little more attentive to Charlotte than usual lately. Standing over shoulder while she’s at the console, invading her personal space, bringing her food from the AutoSnacker, riding in the same tube with her when Jasper takes the other. He is not subtle at all. He definitely has a big, fat crush.

The entire interaction goes unnoticed by Henry who is still pondering Schowz’s earlier statement. Charlotte thinks that someone is cool? That’s new. She usually thinks that everyone is lame. Including me. Is this a real guy? 

“Charlotte said that? What else-” Henry clears his throat and tries but fails to sound nonchalant, “Uh, what else did she say?”

“Are you guys talking about Brayden?” Ray cuts in. “Because Charlotte also mentioned this guy to me. She went on and on about how handsome he was” Ray adds helpfully.

“Ray, guess what?”

“What?”

“I think that I know someone who could beat you in the Handsomest Man in Swellview Competition this year.”

“Blasphemy! No one can beat this face!”

“Nope, I really think he could win.”

“Oh yeah? Who is this guy?”

“My friend Brayden.”

“Show me his picture.”

Charlotte pulls out her phone to show him.

Schowz checks the monitor again, there was a spike in Fear-inol AND Urinol after Ray backed his play. Ray walked over to the monitor and saw the increase as well.

“Henry doesn’t stand a chance” he whispers quietly to his shorter friend.

“Absolutely not.” Schowz agrees.

Brayden? Debate team Brayden? Charlotte thinks he’s cool? And handsome? She said that he barely brought anything to the team except for a pretty face. I thought that was an insult to his intelligence. But maybe it was a compliment on his face?

“Did Charlotte tell you about her date with him?” questions Schowz.

Date? What date? Charlotte is dating Brayden now? When did that happen? Why am I just hearing about it?

“Um, they’re going out? Like in real life? And she told you this?” Henry asks disbelievingly.

“She suuuuure did. I heard he was taking her out this Saturday” Ray says with a goofy grin on his face.

Fear-inol levels were now reaching the precipice of the Startled Zone but weren’t quite there yet. Schowz motions to Ray to keep going, letting him know that their scare tactics were working.

Henry takes off the helmet and whips his head over to Charlotte who is sitting at the table with Piper talking animatedly. Jasper is now at the auto snacker ordering more candy and popcorn.

I wonder what they’re talking about. Is it about this so called “date”? Does Jasper know too? Am I the only one who didn’t know? Why didn’t she tell me?

“That-that’s cool. Charlotte has a date. What’s so scary about that?” Henry plays it off but there is a glistening of sweat forming on his brow bone.

“Oh, nothing. I just thought that you’d want to know. Put the mask back on.”

Henry follows the direction without protest. It’s as if he’s in sort of a trance.

“Yeah Henry, isn’t Saturday you and Charlotte’s official Movie Night night?” Ray asks.

In the Story World, Henry and Charlotte are in his room watching movies when they hear a knock on the door. After going downstairs, Henry answers the door to see Brayden standing there with a small bouquet of daises that he hands to Charlotte. She takes the daisies and gives them a big whiff before passing the flowers off to Henry. With a big smile on her face she turns to Henry and says, “Don’t wait up”. She then walks out the door hand and hand with Brayden. Henry is left alone looking down at the daisies.

“It is.” Henry muttered glumly.

“Weellllll, she’s gonna miss that. I heard that they are going to Nacho Ball.” Schowz adds.

Back in the story world, Charlotte and Brayden are sitting on the same side of the booth talking and giggling. They seem to be in their own little world. Charlotte wipes some nacho cheese off the corner of Brayden’s lip with a napkin. They actually look good together.

Henry feels sick to his stomach. “She hasn’t cancelled movie night for this weekend, how do I know that you aren’t just saying this to bother me?” Henry questions Ray and Schowz.

“She probably just hasn’t gotten around to it yet. Too busy thinking about her date with Brayden.” Ray mocks.

“Bother you? Does the fact that Charlotte has a date bother you?” Schowz inquires.

“Uh, no it doesn’t bother me. Why would it?” Henry mutters while scratching the back of his neck.

“You tell us Henry? Are you upset that Charlotte is going on a date?” Ray asks while stepping closer to the tank.

“Psssh, what? No. I’m just upset that she’s going to miss movie night.” Henry says nervously.

“Really?” Ray countered, squinting at Henry in suspicion.

Henry mustered up all his bravado and put it into the next word, “Really.”

“Well I’m sure if you ask her, she’d be willing to reschedule the date for earlier that day.” Schowz suggests as he checks Henry’s Fearinol levels again. The levels are now in the fully in the Startled Zone and creeping to the precipice of Scared. Schowz mouths to Ray, ‘Almost there’.

“Good. And then at movie night, Charlotte can tell you ALL about her date and how great it was.” Ray taunts.

Henry sees a vision of himself and Charlotte in the living room while Charlotte chatters excitedly about the date she just got back from. They haven’t watched one movie yet. They had been talking for an hour about Brayden.

“He was such a gentleman Henry, I think I really like him. He’s so cute and smart and nice and handsome and tall and kind. And did I mention that he was handsome?”

“You sure did Charlotte. Only about a hundred times.”

“Sorry, I’m just so excited that Brayden asked me out. And we’re going on another date tomorrow. I hope we last.”

“Me too” Henry replies in a false cheery tone.

“I wonder if they’ll kiss? What do you think Ray? Think they’ll kiss?” Schowz questions.

“Oh definitely. One thing I know about is teenage boys. I used to be one not too long ago! If I was this guy, I’d definitely shoot my shot. Charlotte’s a catch.”

“True. She’s so smart and pretty. What guy would turn her down?” Schowz adds.

“I don’t know. A chump probably” Ray alleges.

“Do you think that Brayden is a chump Henry?” the foreigner probes.

Now the Story Zone shows Brayden and Charlotte in front of her door after the date.

“I had a great time tonight” Brayden tells Charlotte.  

“Me too” Charlotte answers shyly while looking down at her feet.

“Hey Charlotte?” Brayden whispers.

“Hm?” she says while looking up at him.

Instead of responding verbally, he looks into her eyes and tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Stepping closer, he glances down at her lips and looks back into her eyes that are locked onto his. They both start leaning closer to each other.

Right before imaginary Charlotte and Brayden touch lips, Henry rips the helmet off his head. He’s breathing harshly and looks uncomfortable.

“That’s enough! I-I’m good” Henry rasps out.

Checking the monitor, Henry’s Fear-inol levels were offically in Scared terrority now and steadily increasing. His heart rate is also off the charts.

“Ha! I knew that I could scare you!” Ray gloats.

“I started it. It was my story” Schowz whines.

“Yeah, yeah yeah. Give me those sweet, sweet steaks!” he walks over to the table to collect the meat and then goes through the sprocket door. 

Henry gets out of the Story Tank while Schowz chases after Ray. “I thought we were supposed to be sharing those!”

Sighing, Henry looks over at the table to see only Piper sitting there on her phone. It looks like she hadn’t moved in quite some time.

“Where’d Charlotte and Jasper go?”

“They went upstairs awhile ago to help some customers.”

“Oh okay. Nice. So were you on your phone the whole time or....?”

“Yeah, I’ve been in a Twitflash beef with Jana Tetrazinni for the past thirty minutes.”

“Cool cool cool cool,cool.”

“Still totally heard the fact that you were scared by Charlotte going on a date in a fake scenario.”

“I wasn’t scared! And fake scenario? What do you mean fake scenario? Char’s going out with Brayden this Saturday isn’t she?”

“Uh no dude. The only reason those guys even know about Brayden is because Charlotte was complaining about how he almost made them lose a debate this week. She hates that guy” Piper says as she gets up from the table and walks towards him.

“Oh.” Henry says with obvious relief.

“Yeah, ‘oh’. You need to go and ask her out before you give yourself an aneurysm. I’m not visiting you in the hospital” Piper says sarcastically and pats him on the arm as she passes.

“Ha ha very funny Piper. I don’t see Charlotte like that, we’re just friends.”

“That’s not what your Fear-inol levels say buddy.”

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-03-12

I have been told only a few things about the upd8 that just landed, over Discord by two people:

upd19 feat. 4,901,157 read it. now. note: the featuring note is accurate if in a different base than what you might be expecting

What the fuck does that even mean.

Okay Pretty good chapter.

...from another friend who VERY dislikes HS^2?  Oh shit.

I also glimpsed a post that may or may not have been about Homestuck at all at the top of my Tumblr feed for an instant that said “YES YES YES YES YES” in huge bold print.  I have no idea whether to be excited or nervous.

Okay, it’s not a Bonus update... let me comb through from an earlier page to be careful not to get a spoilerlook at the pagecount...

...huh.  That seems... like a conversation that would be up my alley, but not necessarily unique so far or worth all this crowing about.  I thought we were about to get Dirk-aliens with a full Horschestra backing... are we getting something else?

> CHAPTER 6. A Conversation Regarding Relevance

Hmmmmmmmm.  With the contrast between their reactions and this ominous buildup, there’s got to be a serious fun-twist coming.  Right?  --I’ll stop with that talk for the moment though.

space is vast. an unproductive statement, almost a tautology. [...]

Alright, that and the starry background are riffing the fuck off Star Trek.  Nice homage to Andrew’s roots.

the lives of the many are far too volatile and instinct-driven

Alt!Callie what the fuck are you doing.  This is intentional now.  You can’t play this off as “what’s a Star Trek”.

tautologies are, in general, reserved for stories. for narrative device. for finding new and inventive ways to tell an audience that which they already know.

God damnit she’s still doing it

neither of us ever able to convince the other of the righteousness of our stance. we were never meant to agree. it isn’t in our blood.

Blah blah overanalyzing classpect blah

when they scoff at my tautology ‘space is vast’, what do they really know? nothing. as far as any of them have experienced, space does not exist.

It’s still nice to see some real personality leak through on Alt!Callie.  We definitely know from her other self that she can develop quite a relatable and colorful one.  Have the years helped?

> ==>

dramantic pouse... ........

Also,

-look at that collar.  Damn, Callie, that is a collar

very few have stood and looked into the abyss, the true gulf of nothingness that spreads out around the single point of consciousness adrift in a constellation. all the combined weight of sentient endeavour would quail underneath that sheer, irresistible truth. the realization that they are so small, that the universe cares about their puny lives so very little. sitting in the glowing light of the stars this becomes even more apparent

In the official aspect quiz I never took the time to analyze, the aspects were put on a wheel where Space was a neighbor to Void, if I recall correctly.  I wonder how much those aspects engender feelings of goddamnit I’m doing it again aren’t I

...

are we out of orange juice?

Yesss let more personality Alt!Callie bleed through, more of it~

Wait, does Alt!Callie even taste through Jade?  Isn’t this remote control?  Is she vicariously drawing pleasure from Jade’s not-just-meat-or-candy mostly-human taste buds or?

> ==>

JADE: are you talking to me? JADE: because if you are i would like to remind you that i hate!! orange juice!!

OH FUCK YES!!! SHE’S IN THERE AND AWAKE!!! SHE STILL HAS AT LEAST ENOUGH AGENCY TO BE PRESENT AND ARGUE WITH CALLIE! YESSSSSS

no you don’t.

JADE: well i guess i never really had a strong opinion on it before JADE: but now i cant stand it!! JADE: its all you drink!

i like the pulp.

QUIT INADVERTANTLY FORCING SHIT ON JADE WITH NARRATIVESPEAK GIVE HER A BIT OF LEEWAY ALT!CALLIE YOU CONTROLLING--

JADE: its my body and i dont want orange juice! JADE: i hate pulp, and i didnt just make that up to spite you JADE: who wants strings in their juice?

i do.

JADE: ughhhhhhhhh

I have had friends hopefully fantasize about and/or therapeutically roleplay this exact situation with Jade breaking through and arguing with Alt!Callie’s control to make this all a fair bit more palatable but I didn’t dare to hope we’d get even THIS much

Maybe the HS^2 authors DO care about not leaving us wallowing in hopeless witness to the characters’ constant torture and existential turbosuffering!!!! :#D

i realize that jade’s situation is less than ideal from a characterization perspective, but i still politely point out that nobody likes a whiner.

Fuck you, this isn’t CALIBORN you’re trying to repress you asshole!  Leave Jade some AGENCY!!!!!  She deserves it!!

JADE: fuck you rude calliope inside my head!

YES EXACTLY

JADE: why dont you try being possessed by the spirit of some other version of a good friend of yours, and floated around a spaceship full of people you love JADE: unable to affect anything or say hello to anyone! JADE: then tell me about whiners!

i killed my brother and consumed him.

JADE: sounds like a you problem

Compromise and give her some agency finally come on compromise and give her some agency you red-text twatwaffle

i suggest to the witch that i have spent untold eons in the void between universes, waiting for the moment i would be needed to prevent the dissipation of reality as we know it. her appeals to emotion will not help her. i will remain unmoved.

Oh god damnit.

JADE: well i had to watch my boyfriend and my brother die in front of me on a tiny scaled version of a world that i shrunk for them! JADE: and then spend the next three years talking to myself, wracked with guilt that id killed them!

Oh. God. Damnit.  This had better not be where the Suicide trigger warning was coming from.  Are there going to be any characters left who DIDN’T emerge from this mess feeling suicidal?!?  (I mean if there were any understandable case it would be three years alone on the golden ship Jade but-- I mean COME ON, we have to discuss that in our FIRST GLIMPSE at her since the epilogues?!?)

> ==>

i remind the witch that my time was in the void, which is far darker and lonelier [...]

Oh fuck you don’t compare suffering as an excuse to COMPLETELY body-enslave and squash the agency of someone when you probably don’t have to.  You’re just doing what’s COMFORTABLE alt!Callie admit it.  There’s a way you could give her some leeway, I’m almost positive.

JADE: even if i had the powers of a first guardian, my brain still worked in modules of human pattern recognition! JADE: three years is a long time for a human teenager, i dont care how many of her molecules are made of a god!

(i love it when jade talks smart, that bit of the epilogues was a treat too, plz reveal more of the big brain on jade)

It seems Jade can’t see or quite understand the full import of there being a “narrative”.  Or THINKS she cant, because she still says:

JADE: your voice is impossible to read and i cant see your face

If she’s “reading” alt!Callie’s remarks, that means she’s breaking through to understand the narrative to SOME extent.  She might be one of the ones who learns to do that a little more and better in the future, especially with alt!Callie almost unintentionally training her to see it.

> ==>

Oh, good.  So A!C’s not above being considerate.  That’s a step in the right direction.

> ==>

D’aww, Jade conceding and trying to empathize like her usual self.  I appreciate it.  :)  --but Alt!Callie’s definitely in the wrong here.

JADE: but i think it is a very natural thing to be silly when you are used to being able to control your own body, but now cant

i will allow that, yes.

Thanks.  Learn some damned reason.

jade smiles. dave and karkat will always be a source of pain for her, a low ache somewhere in her center of gravity, but she is happy for them. she knows that there is really no other alternative for how to be. they chose each other over her, and they always will. they are the two people who matter to her the most in every universe, and that will not change, no matter how much she wishes it would, no matter how--

JADE: do you actually know that?

pardon me?

Oh, shit.

JADE: do you actually know that im doomed to pine over dave and karkat across every iteration of reality? JADE: like, can you actually see that? JADE: because youre a space player, like i am. JADE: i know that you are more powerful than me, but i dont think you can see other timelines any better than i can JADE: so i think you are just being dramatic JADE: for the “audience”, whatever the heck that means

i experience a moment of unease as jade looks at me. keeping her out of my thoughts is proving to be more difficult than i had first assumed it would be.

That’s a damned interesting question.  I was giving the narrative the benefit of the doubt, but given everything the Epilogues warned us about when it came to the narrators and alt!Callie’s occasional slips into her own bias, I really should have known better.

i had begun confident that i could keep her consciousness sleeping peacefully inside the shell of her body, tamed and quiescent, but she has proved to be more irascible than i initially gave her credit for.

JADE: heheh JADE: i have never been particularly tamable, and my consciousness is huge!

This might end up playing out more like my friend’s Jade-breaks-out roleplays than I initially assumed.  (What does she mean “huge consciousness” though?  Superpowered due to part-First-Guardian, like she alluded earlier in the conversation?  That never got much play before, so it’s great to see that potential realized here a bit...)

> ==>

...I’m a fucking idiot.  Of COURSE “huge consciousness” and the whole line around it was just an unsubtle double-entendre.  A small part of me actually wondered if it was and dismissed it as a clumsy reading in an instant.  How stupid am I?  Jade is the best.

If only this sort of thing worked on Cherubs.

> ==>

Yeah.  It really doesn’t.

...Alt!Callie, you are a fucking war-criminal for bottling all these double-entendres up where none of the others can appreciate them.

> ==>

JADE: you are a pretty tough crowd, evil callie JADE: but yes, i can hear most of what you are thinking to yourself JADE: it took a little while to separate it from my own thoughts, just like it did with dirk JADE: because thats what he was doing the whole time, wasnt it? JADE: controlling our thoughts JADE: making us believe things we never would, things he thought we SHOULD believe

Fucking excellent.  She’s definitely training herself on this shit.  The more people who have a harder time getting fooled by this nonsense the better.

jade knows all of this, i don’t have to tell her. she is a very bright girl, and even if she didn’t have partial access to my thoughts, she is good at compiling data and using it to fill in gaps. as she herself had rather licentiously mentioned, her brain is quite large.

C:

and all of these reasons are why i know i can count on her to be reasonable and realistic about her situation. i need a body to continue interfacing with this timeline, and her body is the only one that will do.

Dammit.  Trying to get her to logic her way back into keeping Alt!Callie in complete control.  That’s a tactic that will probably work.  :(

what about [kanaya], jade? she is a space player, it is true, but her powers are nothing compared to yours. for one, she isn’t god tier, and for two, she is dead. a living dead, but dead nonetheless.

Hm.  Are you saying she maybe has less relevance, less of an effect on her surroundings because she spent some of her “cred” on unconventional partial resurrection?  To the extent where she’d make a less influential vessel?  Hmm.

For that to even matter, you have to be planning to use Jade’s Space powers too.  Taking a far more active role in things than narrative beacon.

and a sylph’s specializations lie on a different end of the spectrum from my own. a witch is a far closer match.

!!!!!

Sounds like details of the classpect system that we don’t know will have relevance in HS^2, and we’re indeed gonna possibly get some actual new, clearer details about the system Andrew invented unlike the dearth of new info the Epilogues brought us.  That is... promising.

no, jade understands and sympathizes with my assurance that her body, and her body alone, will do for my purposes.

JADE: um...no i dont!

YES.  Jade is now officially immune to absolute command! :D :D :D

she does. after all, she would not wish this sort of state of being on anyone else, and especially not on one of her friends. jade may have undergone a lopsided number of narrative hardships in her life, but at least she is used to them. why spread that suffering to another?

What the fucking shit???  You’re using that on her?  You think it’ll WORK?!

jade understands and accepts her place in the story, which has always been to enable events to play out around her, just as it has been mine.

..........yeah Jade’s gonna bust the fuck out on the very next page, isn’t she.

What the fuck is Alt!Callie thinking, here?  Wasn’t the other Calliope the one to let us know that the Witch is one of the most active classes there is??  ...what exactly does a Witch officially do anyway, for Alt!Callie to think saying such a thing wasn’t dead wrong?  This sounds MUCH more like the sort of statement someone might make after breezing through Homestuck and confusing the old Jade (cough) for the person she grew up into.

And the fact that you’re phrasing this as a narrative command to try and make her forcibly THINK this way deserves you a smack in the non-literal depictive face.  Let’s see if you get one:

> ==>

Oh wow, no smack yet?!  That’s some restraint!

because what is a story, truly? nothing but a series of misadventures and connections, actions spurring reactions, tumbling into one another, over and over and over. with so many competing interests, clearly the story cannot account for all perspectives, for all threads? it would be laughable, childish, even selfish, to demand that they do.

in other words, not everyone will achieve a happy ending. this is a truth that jade had come to grips with a long time ago.

JADE: wait. JADE: stop. JADE: why are you saying all of this?

Ohh.  Because she still had even MORE smackworthy stuff left to say, to make the smack even SMACKIER, didn’t she.  Alt!Callie you asshole.  If this gets you kicked out of her almost entirely and jeopardizes the crew as Jade struggles to combat Dirk’s narrative influence on her OWN, then I’m fucking blaming YOU!  Do you realize how horrible it’ll be if Dirk gets to almost singlehandedly write the whole story around her and the others for the first section of HS^2 with only one or two characters aware and trying to mentally avert it??  We already TRIED that in the Epilogues!  It was awful!

jade’s body is my vessel, and it is through this realization that she will understand her true role in the story. her true relevance.

Go fuck yourself, Alt!Callie.  Read the audience a bit!

if i released my hold on her consciousness, there would be no guarantee that i would be allowed in again. therefore i cannot permit her the control of herself that she so desperately craves, and she understands that.

THAT’S your reasoning your used-to-surpressing-Caliborn ignorant--!??

JADE: wait. so...you could give me my body back, and then just hop back in when you need to?

in theory, yes.

JADE: then what the hell callie!

because i don’t trust you to cooperate when the time comes.

MotherfuckerTheMusical.mp4

(or real existing equivalent that’s just off the top of my head)

JADE: why not? JADE: i thought you said i was a reasonable girl with a huge brain!

you are, to an extent.

she is. but the truth of the matter remains that humans are capricious and emotional. and even jade herself can admit that she hasn’t been the most...committed example of her species in the last few years.

Oh my fucking god.  I know they’re trying to make this more satisfying when she actually DOES take control in a few panels, but, Alt!Callie, seriously, get more on your other self’s level!!!

> ==>

Yes, please >:O some more

moving from lover to lover, job to job, interest to interest. over the last few years jade had found herself listless, unable to settle and unwilling to commit to anything or anyone. she knows there’s nothing wrong with that on a moral level, but on a personal level she’s always believed that she could be more, could do better. be better. and now, because of this, she realizes that sacrifices must be made.

and that she, as a space player, is uniquely built for sacrifice.

JADE: yeah JADE: i guess youre right JADE: i have been such a silly little slut! JADE: hey callie

yes, jade?

JADE: oh my god, whats that!!!!

You are so fucking screwed Alt!Callie.

this space is utterly under my control. jade could control it too, if she had any access to her own powers. but with my grip around her cortex, there is no chance of that.

(Wait, there’s an extent to which this space is “real” and not imaginary?  Or does holding her space powers in check also mean keeping her imaginary space powers in check?)

Anyway, here comes the smack.  And, though Alt!Callie deserves this, I hope Dirk isn’t let in too often amidst the others as a result.

> ==>

Yup, poising to pounce...

> ==>

I thought there was a weird infinity symbol underneath them but it’s just two spotlights and a shadow cast by her head.

and here i make my first mistake.

No you made your first mistakes WAAAY earlier in this conversation.  And what you did to Jade in general.  She’s a hero/player for a reason, she doesn’t take stuff lying down forever.

but bringing her into a place where we can both physically manifest has left me, foolishly, vulnerable.

First, physically manifest?  This isn’t pure imaginationspace?  And second, she’s going to blame her polite concession to Jade for this and hold on even tighter the next time, isn’t she.  God damnit, not looking forward to that.  Alt!Callie won’t learn her lesson til the end, will she?  :(

her fingers tear at my throat, trying to find purchase. she won’t be able to kill me here, but it is certainly unpleasant, and not to mention slightly repetitive. we just saw this in the previous chapter, although this particular fight will not end as amorously as the last one did. so don’t get your hopes up.

JADE: who! JADE: are you talking to!

I really hope Jade ends up with full narrative powerOOOOOHHHH FUCK THEY COULD GO FOR THAT HUH

Dirk was able to become an Ultimate Self in his own body because it was the uniting of an irrepressible “self” that he always unbreakably represented.  The others had more trouble.

But Jade

has a BIG PART-GOD BRAIN as reinforced in the narrative repeatedly!!

Meaning that later, SHE could Ultimate Self without ANY PHYSICAL CONSEQUENCE.  :D

I was hoping Jade would end up with full narrative-dictating-and-reading power when she wants to use it, at some point, but I might’ve been aiming too low! :D :D :D

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay

Now all the playfully-horny omnipotent Jade fanfics are true, what that totally isn’t part of why I love this go ahead and admit she doesn’t deserve it

> ==>

Yesss flashy gif struggle against control!  (Though, not as elegant as one of Andrew’s might’ve been. Gotta say.)

> ==>

Blinky-eyes about to resolve normal-Jade-colored....!

> ==>

Wait, what?  I thought Jade was about to snap in and--

during the ship’s trip through space, there have been numerous experiments; modifications to the nutrition output of the various machines designed to create sustenance for the various species on board. i myself have been content with orange juice and synthetic proteins, but dave and roxy have both expressed longing for various ‘earth snacks’, and so the trials and errors began.

What the fuck?  I don’t even know where this is going if it’s punways.

Is there like a dog treat somewhere that’s gonna push her over the edge?  Where is this headed even.

> ==>

Wh...

WHa??????

the results were mixed. as roxy told us in a previous chapter, alchemized food all sort of tastes the same, although the visuals really help to bring about the flavor. and at the end of the day, isn’t it the journey that is more important than the destination? the stories you tell as you create the strangely flavored nutritional paste?

JADE: ????????????

Um??  What’s even going on.

so far, everyone’s favorite attempt has been a vaguely peanut-butter and chocolate flavored creation called "Rices'". nobody eats them really. they just sit in a bowl on the counter.

i’m not actually sure what the witch is trying to accomplish here.

Is Jade trying to humorously gross Alt!Callie out of her body with a candy she doesn’t like or?  But, “suicide threat”? Why joke--

JADE: you dont? JADE: really?

i don’t know what she is trying to accomplish, because surely she would not be doing what it appears she is trying to do. making such a meaningless threat.

JADE: meaningless? JADE: do you even know anything about the body you stole? JADE: shouldnt you have run some sort of psychic physical before you possessed it? JADE: its definitely what i would have done!

Oh SHIT.  You mean Jade has the same peanut allergy JOHN does?!?

> ==>

jade must know that i am well-aware of her family-wide peanut allergy. a story thread that has been extremely important and weighed in on in multiple parts of the narrative. how could i have forgotten such a key detail?

...yes, she totally forgot, but more than that.

I’m betting John is the ONLY one with a peanut allergy.  That Jade is USING that fact to bluff like hell.  :D

(Allergies aren’t usually inherited that way you alien!)

there is nothing remotely just or heroic about dying from self-imposed anaphylactic shock in the throes of a childish tantrum. at the most i’ll get a relaxing few minutes of sleep.

Is Alt!Callie bluffing now?  Even a resurrecting death could throw her off.

> ==>

FUCK YES JADE.

JADE: do you really want to risk it?

what are you talking about, jade? i just said--

FUCK YES JADE, BE A HUGE WITCH

(i say in the most witch-connotatively and non-classpect-related way)

JADE: i dont know, callie JADE: ive never really understood the rules that govern the death of a god tier, have you? JADE: it seems pretty arbitrary from where im standing JADE: who makes the decision whether or not something is heroic or just?

...that’s unclear. but it certainly isn’t you.

JADE: right, of course not JADE: but are you so confident that youre a good guy? JADE: are you sure that the alpha timeline WANTS you to be here?

...what.

JADE: youve done some stuff, callie JADE: im only saying you shouldnt be so quick to assume that me killing you wouldnt be just JADE: and that taking my own life to do it wouldnt be heroic

Even with JUST this one fucking situation Alt!Callie put her in, throwing off her control forever by dying would be shortsighted but HELLA JUST.  What Alt!Callie is doing to her is a crime.

Oh shit!?!?

> [S] ==>

What is this, HTML5?  *clicks play*

...for a second, I thought this was gonna launch into a huge thing with that clock ticking song from the Felt album.

Having Rose and Dirk’s colors competing here really reinforces that... Prospit vs Derse vibe that was feeding the whole this-is-the-basis-for-the-game’s-structure-and-the-birth-of-Paradox-Space theory more earlier.

> ==>

i don’t let the witch manipulate me. i refuse to falter in the face of her whispers. without my careful planning and swift action, the prince would have taken full control over this timeline. none of my friends could even begin to imagine the turmoil.

In the end, you’re ignoring what’s right and brave in this instance to instead do something EXPEDIENT, to the exclusion of trust and compassion when things COULD work out just as well without taking the worst actions -- which is textbook villainous.

> ==>

JADE: they arent your friends!! JADE: you took them from me!

Now isn’t THAT a way to put it. :D :D :D

Alt!Callie is sinning almost as badly as Dirk, here.  Viewing everyone else as characters in a story, the only way she’s ever viewed “friends”, and her as the not-so-humble narrator doing what’s best for all of them.  If she’s going to win against Dirk -- or if that victory is going to MEAN anything -- she will HAVE to realize that she needs to be different.

JADE: you keep saying that youre doing all of this for my own good, but youre just lonely! JADE: i know you are, because so am i!

Ouch.

Will Alt!Callie force her to swallow it?

JADE: you said that being a space player is all about sacrifice JADE: well

> ==>

JADE: bet

...I guess she really might have an allergy.

> ==>

Aaaand the candy drops.  A W A K E ! ! ! !

Yaaaaay Jade is BACK and we’ll get to see even more of her!!!

...please tell me on the next page she grabs the candy, noms it, and mentions she doesn’t have a peanut allergy after all.  That would be sweet.

> ==>

...

Nope, you just leave us on a sad.  Dammit, why do you gotta be all adult and showin’ us both sides in a moment of triumph, HS^2.  Shucks.

Anyway, YAY JADE!  C:

I am happy by this, if slightly too emotionally-rollercoastered by the past 24-hours to give this the full-rejoicing it deserves.  That, and worried about the openings Dirk will get because of this... joy now for potential frustration later, even if Jade tries her best to let Alt!Callie back in in-time.

See y’all next time!  And, uhm.  I guess I’ll comment on whatever other asks I promised to comment on another less-eventful day.  Keep reminding me and holding me to it though!

[genericpseudonyms]

this is what makes us girls

‘Tell me something nice.’

My head is in the crook of her shoulder and we are sprawled out on the couch. My dog lies between her legs because she likes to feel cornered in. Some mindless TV show is blaring but I can’t focus on anything on screen. The only thing I can think about is the same negative feedback loop my brain has been circling for the past forty-eight hours.

‘Ugh, this again?’

‘Yes,’ I say. ‘I’m spiraling. Tell me something nice.’

‘You have good hair,’ she says in a deadpan. ‘And it’s attached to a very smart head. Though, it’s not being terribly smart at the moment.’

I wave my hand. ‘Keep going.’

‘You’re killing me.’

‘I’m sad. I’m killing myself.’

She gives me a look.

‘Bad joke?’

‘Bad joke,’ she agrees.

‘Well, keep going then.’

‘You’re smart.’

‘You said that already.’

She sucks in her breath through her teeth. ‘You’re pretty. Very pretty. Too pretty for all those losers that keep pining after you.’

‘All zero of them. And I’m not pretty.’

‘You leave a trail of bitter nerd hearts behind you. You’re just too oblivious to notice. And yes, you are.’

I grab her hand and she drops her knitting needle. Cupping her hand in mine, I use it to stroke my own hair, like I am her puppet master. I have to. She'll never do this on her own. ‘See, this is how you comfort someone who’s feeling shitty. I am not someone people pine after. I’m the third unwanted leg of the love triangle. Always have been, always will be.’

‘Oh my god,’ she says. I can’t see her face, but I know she’s rolling her eyes. ‘That is not how love triangles work. And just because you’re blinder than a bat, doesn’t make what I say untrue. What’s his face,’ she snaps her fingers, trying to remember, ‘you know, that guy.’

‘Ah yes. That guy. So descriptive. So helpful. ’

‘The guy at Em’s wedding.’

‘Will? The weirdo who wouldn’t hug Em on her own wedding day? The one I yelled for fifteen minutes for being a giant dick to you both? The one who ran up to you to say that I was scary as fuck? That guy?’

‘Yeah. Him. He pined after you.’

My eyes roll so hard they almost fall out of my head. ‘Yay.’

‘You’re a bright, sparkly unicorn. You just have to find another bright, sparkly unicorn.’

‘I don’t want to be a unicorn.’

‘Psh. Please. Everyone wants to be a unicorn.’

‘Well, I don’t. Voldemort’s just gonna suck my blood. It’s not a good time.’

‘Then what do you want?’

I pause. This is the question everyone keeps asking me and I have no answer that sticks. ‘I just want to...meeehhhh.’

‘Use your words. Articulate what you’re feeling.’

‘I don’t wanna.’

‘You’re so fucking annoying.’

‘I’m just...lonely is all. And confused.’

‘About?’

‘Everything.’

‘Everything?’ If I look up, I’ll see her giving me an arched brow and a look that screams Bitch Please, I Do Not Have Time For Your Pity Party.

‘I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about anything or anyone anymore. It feels like my memories and gut instincts are all wrong. I don’t know how to trust if someone’s actually telling me the truth, if they’re lying, or they think they’re telling the truth but actually lying to themselves, or something else entirely.’

‘Well yeah,” she says. ‘You can only accept what people tell you is true. You’ll drive yourself crazy otherwise.’

‘Do you think I’m overreacting? Isn’t this how immigrant families are?’ I bite my lip. ‘What if I’m just being oversensitive?’

She frees her hand from my grasp so she can go back to knitting, though I’m not making it easy. Our arms are all entwined and I know she’s being exceedingly patient with me. ‘No. This is normal when people lie to you your whole life. Tiger Moms and whatever are a thing but...they still support their kids. They don’t do what they did. Yeah the love is conditional but it’s not...They don’t leave you locked in a basement with no food.’ She pauses. ‘It’s a miracle you’re not shitty like your cousins. You’re doing real good.’

That calms me down a bit. Either that, or the sleeping pill is finally kicking in. ‘You love me.’

‘Not this again.’

‘Hey,’ I say, pretending to be miffed. ‘You shouldn’t only say it when I’m sobbing on your shoulder after a nervous breakdown. You can’t deny it. I heard you say it.’

‘Of course I love you,’ she says, making no eye contact. ‘I’m just not effusive like Em is. I don’t do mushy feeling things. That’s what Em is for.’

‘Em is in St. Louis and you know doctor hours are crazy. You’re what I got.’

‘Yeah,’ she says, patting me on the back. ‘Sucks for you.’

It’s not so bad, really. But I’m not going to tell her that. I’ll be thirty soon, and my life is absolutely nothing like what I thought it would be ten years ago. I’m not married—and I’m pretty sure I never will be. I don’t have kids, and I’m not sure I’ll ever get the chance to. But I am a writer. A real bonafide, paid writer, and that’s something I never thought I’d manage. I’m also moping on the couch with my roommate and best friend of 15 years. And soon she’ll be leaving me for her own apartment.

‘I’m sad you’re leaving,’ I say. ‘Like, I’m glad for you. I’m not trying to be selfish. I totally meant it when I helped with your application. Like, I was so happy to help with your appeal and I’m not saying—‘

‘Shhhhh,’ she replies. ‘I know. You royally screwed yourself over to help me out. Only an idiot does that.’

‘Hey!’

‘What are you gonna do when I move out?’

‘Well, M is moving in.’

‘Yeah but he’s rarely gonna be around. He’ll check up on you but you know his hours.’

‘I’ll be fine. I’m always okay.’

She gives me a stern look. We both know I’m absolute shit at taking care of myself. As soon as she moves out, I will go back to eating maybe once a day, if that, and staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning writing. I will probably drink a few too many cups of coffee and refuse to tell people when I’m doing poorly. The dog will be fine though. I’ve always been better at taking care of others.

‘You survive. That’s different from being okay.’

‘I’ll be fiiiine. I made it seven years overseas, didn’t I?’

Lips pursed, she goes back to knitting. ‘You better be. I don’t wanna make new friends. I’m too old for that shit.’

‘When we’re seventy, let’s get a beach house and live together again,’ I say. ‘We’ll either be divorced or our spouses will be dead. Our children, if we have any, won’t need us. We can be old and crotchety together. I’ll yell at the kids to get off my holographic lawn. Do beach houses have lawns?’

‘That’s always been the plan. Beach houses can have lawns if they’re holographic.’

‘This would all be easier if you were a lesbian,’ I gripe. ‘We’re already that old sexless married couple that constantly bickers and shops at sales.’

‘I’m sorry I can’t fulfill you in that way. Plus, even if I were a lesbian, you know we wouldn’t work out.’

It’s true. We wouldn’t. We’d be at each other’s throats in a half-second. She’s blunt. I’m overly sensitive. She’s a woman of few words. I blabber and blather because I don’t know when to shut up or go home. She’s private. I don’t give a rat’s ass who knows my dirty laundry—well, most of my dirty laundry. We’re oil and water, but as friends, it somehow it works. I understand her, and she understands me. It’s that simple.

‘But you’ve thought of it,’ I say.

‘Ugh, no.’

I smile. She totally has.

‘I’ll ask M if he’s still in love with you.’

‘Oh god.’ She stops knitting and scrunches up her face. ‘Oh god please no. It’s been fourteen years.’

‘Why do you think I’m okay with his straight ass moving in here? He can’t fall in love with me if he’s too busy pining after you. For fourteen years. See, that’s what pining looks like. Holy fuck we’re old.’

‘Oh please. You’re just happy he’s gonna teach you how to properly twirl a lightsaber. The two of you are just gonna be waving your glow sticks in the driveway like dorks.’

‘Duh. Live-in Jedi master. How cool is that?’

‘Better?’

I think for a second. I have not wanted to metaphorically stick my head in an oven ala Sylvia Plath for a solid twenty minutes. (She has also hid our copy of The Bell Jar from me.) I am not crying hysterically and have not cried hysterically in a long time. If I have my way, nothing will ever make me cry that hard again except for puppies dying in movies.  

‘Better.’

‘Good, cuz you can drink this Ensure. You’ve only had two today.’

‘Oh my fucking god, please just end me. I can’t. I would rather lick your feet than drink another one of these. I would rather lick the dog’s feet. I ate lunch and dinner today. Two meals. I’m up to two. Do you know how much this shit tastes like ass? Chalky, chalky ass. It says chocolate, but it’s ass. No, please. Don’t make me. Oh god, no. Why. For fuck’s sake why.’

‘Cuz Em said you gotta have 3 a day. Cuz your ‘lunch’ and ‘dinner’ were like, one regular person meal. Do you want scurvy?’

‘I’m not a pirate. I can’t get scurvy.’

‘Don’t sass me. Drink it.’ She twists open the cap and hands me the bottle. I’m trapped now. She knows I hate wasting food.

‘Ughhhhhhhhh.’

‘The sooner you get back to eating, the sooner you don’t have to drink these. Speaking of which, I ordered you another case.’

‘Another case??? I’m back on food. I don’t need another case.’

‘I don’t need you getting cocky and then starving to death when I leave.’

‘I’m not gonna starve. There’s GrubHub and Seamless. And like, bread. I can eat toast.’

‘My god woman.’ She thwaps me upside the head. ‘Toast is not a meal. Toast is bread. Bread is nothing. Your grocery bill is gonna like, shrink to nothing.’

‘So not true. I eat. When like, I’m not depressed. I ate a whole burrito and burger the other day cuz I was pissed. Anger requires calories.’

‘Oh please. You have two modes. Eat everything in sight in like, two seconds, because you’re convinced you’ll never eat again. Or like, you pick at your food like some skinny ballerina.’

‘Well, you know why.’

‘Yeah, I know why. Still.’

I glance down at the Ensure bottle. She won’t budge until it’s empty and I know it’s good for me. Grimacing, I chug until it’s all gone. It’s better that way.

‘God, are you happy now?’

‘Yup.’

It occurs to me that this is the first time in my life someone has taken care of me when I’m like this. Usually, I spend weeks alone in my room, crying silently until I fall asleep. I end up fighting with parents or exes about why can’t I just be happy? Why can’t I just turn off this part of my brain and power through?

‘I’m gonna miss you when you leave,’ I say.

‘I’m not going anywhere,’ she replies. ‘I’ll be a train ride away. And it won’t be that godawful ride when you were living in bumblefuck nowhere in Flushing.’

‘Still.’

‘Yeah.’

We sit in silence and watch the TV. She’s not leaving tomorrow. Or even the day after that. There’s still some time left.

‘Are you ever gonna give me my arm back?’ she gives me a look and I flash her my cheekiest smile.

‘When you’re gone, there’s no way I can curl up with M like this.’

‘...Fine.’

[taki-sensei]

Hibike! Euphonium manga translation: Volume 3

PREVIOUS TRANSLATIONS I DID including volumes 1 & 2: http://taki-sensei.tumblr.com/hibike-euphonium-manga

Link to Chinese manga so you can follow along: http://tw.manhuagui.com/comic/16480/169099.html#p=2

Page 1: [advertisement] Page 2: (cover) Sound! Euphonium: What's the issue between Kumiko and Reina.....?

Page 3 Hazuki: "Sunfes?" Asuka: "Yup." Asuka: "It's the 23rd Sunrise Festival this year." Riko: "Kyoto's high schools all give a marching band performance in Sunrise Park." Kumiko: "Ohh~~" Asuka: "Here" Asuka: "Sheet music."

Page 4: Kumiko: "Can't Buy Me Love... a Beatles song?" Asuka: "Yeah! This song was released in March 1964 by the Beatles Band--" Gotou: "Senpai, that's enough..." Asuka: "Also... This time, we're only allowing first-years with playing experience to participate in the performance." Midori: "Um" Midori: "Then what about Hazuki-chan?" Asuka: "Hehehe..." Asuka: "She'll be in colorguard." Midori: "Co- colorguard?!"

Page 5: Riko: Ah--...... Don't worry, it's okay" Riko: "It's just hopping and dancing behind the band..." Natsuki: "lol last year Riko was so nervous that she ended up not properly learning the colorguard moves" Riko: "NATSUKI!!" Hazuki: "Natsuki-senpai, you were previously a beginner too, right?" Natsuki: "Yup" Asuka: "Well, we've still got a month of time, so we should be fine." Asuka: "After Sunfes ends, we'll be diving headfirst into preparations for competition."

Page 6: Flashback with Shuiichi and Kumiko Classroom sign reads "Music Classroom." Taki-sensei: [waving baton] "Okay, let's stop here."

Page 7: Taki-sensei: [disappointed-teacher-voice] "What is this?"

Page 8: Taki-sensei: "President." Haruka: "Hai..." Taki-sensei: "I recall telling you to gather everyone for an ensemble rehearsal only after everyone was ready to play together. Am I right?" Haruka: "H-- hai..." Taki-sensei: "And *this* is the result?" Band: "......"

Page 9: Student A: [whispering] "Wtf..." Student B: [whispering] "Can't he just chill..." Taki-sensei: "Band. Why do you think we bother to have ensemble rehearsals like this?" Taki-sensei: "You, over there. Thoughts?" Shuuichi: "What... me?!" Kumiko: [thinking] Shuuichi... Shuuichi: "Well..."

Page 10 Shuuichi: "It's to have everyone practice playing together like they would for a performance..." Taki-sensei: "Correct. I agree." Shuuichi: *relief* Taki-sensei: "But" Taki-sensei: "At this rate, we'll never rehearse successfully. With your underwhelming level of personal preparation, don't you feel ashamed to play in front of each other?" Trombone section leader: "I--"

Page 11 Trombone section leader: "I DON'T THINK WE'RE THAT BAD!" *Flashback to Kumiko and Shuuichi conversation* Shuuichi: "I don't know if Taki-sensei can handle people like the trombone section leader." Kumiko: [thinking] That's... Taki-sensei: [responding to trombone section leader] "Really? Then trombones, please play your first few measures together with this metronome." Taki-sensei: "1, 2, 3, 4"

Page 12 Trombones: *shitty trombone music* Kumiko: [thinking] They're not on tempo... Shuuichi: [thinking] "......" Taki-sensei: "Please stop."

Page 13 Taki-sensei: "Okay, band. What did you think?" Band: "......" Taki-sensei: "In my opinion, it's not just the trombones that were like this. Every section was the same." Taki-sensei: "This week, I dropped by various classrooms to check on your sectional rehearals." Taki-sensei: "You all seemed very relaxed." Taki-sensei: "There were some classrooms where I couldn't hear any instruments being played at all."

Page 14 Taki-sensei: "All of you decided this for yourselves at the very start. You said you want to go to nationals." Taki-sensei: "But what you're doing right now is incredibly frustrating." Taki-sensei: "You know, I don't come out of my house to commute to school on my weekends just to mess around with you guys." Taki-sensei: "I'm here to teach your ensemble rehearsals." Taki-sensei: "So please don't waste my precious days off."

Page 15: Taki-sensei: "President." Haruka: "Uh-- Hai!" Tak-sensei: "We're ending ensemble rehearsal now. Please spend the rest of your time in sectionals." Band: "Hai!" Taki-sensei: "So, for next time's ensemble rehearsal, please actually show up with the best musicianship you can offer." Taki-sensei: "Got it?" Students: *silent muttering* [Taki-sensei leaves] Students: "...... Wtf."

Page 16: Student: "Why's he gotta be so mean...!" Student: "I'm so pissed!" Student: "What's he getting at?" Student: "Isn't that teacher kind of taking it too far?" Student: "I can't deal with this..." Asuka: *CLAP*

Page 17 Asuka: "Alright alright, let the complaining cease. (And go back to your sectional rooms.)" Haruka: "Kumiko, let's go." Kumiko: "Oh okay." Student: "Really hope that teacher doesn't come back." Student: "ikr" Kumiko: "Reina...?" Midori: "Kumiko-chan! Sorry!"

Page 18: Kumiko: "......?" Kumiko: *Ugh... today was exhausting...* Kumiko: *I'll take a break...*

Page 19: Kumiko: "Ughhhhhhhhh----" Shuuichi: "Yo" Kumiko: "Shuuichi" Shuuichi: "I feel the same as you." Shuuichi: "Let's change the mood." Kumiko: "......" Shuuichi: "Taki-sensei is pretty scary, huh?" Kumiko: "Yeah, pretty scary." Shuuichi: "Our section leader was pissed." Kumiko: "But"

Page 20: Kumiko: "Kitauji really isn't great..." Shuuichi: "Yeah." Kumiko: "Does Taki-sensei really think we can get to nationals?" Shuuichi: "Honestly, I don't think so. With our level?" Shuuichi: "Who knows if Taki-sensei really knows what he's doing..." Reina: "OF COURSE HE DOES!!"

Page 21: Reina: "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Kumiko: "Reina?!" Kumiko: "What're you doing here...?" Reina: "My house is nearby. But anyway--" Reina: "Exactly what were you guys muttering on about?" Shuuichi: "No-- we weren't..."

Page 22: Reina: "Let me put this straight. Taki-sensei is a really awesome person! I don't have any mercy for people who're against him!" Kumiko: "H-Hai!" Reina: "And what about you?" Shuuichi: "H-hai..." Reina: "I'll let this time fly. But next time if I hear you trash-talking Taki-sensei, you won't get off so easily." Shuuichi: "We... we weren't talking in the first place..." Reina: "DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?!" Shuuichi: "NOTHING!!"

Page 23: Reina: "As long as we're clear." Reina: "Seeya." Shuuichi and Kumiko: "......"

Page 24: Kumiko: "She scared me..." Shuuichi: "Kousaka is apparently so mad..." Kumiko: "...... let's go home..." Shuuichi: "Hai..." Kumiko: *Reina...*

Page 25 (flashback): Azusa: "Found us!" Azusa: "Kumiko, we got gold!" Kumiko: "Yeah!!" Kumiko: *But it's a useless gold, since we can't go to Kansai regionals...* Kumiko: "But..." Kumiko: "Rei..."

Page 26: Kumiko: "Reina..." Reina: "...... I hate this." Reina: "Why is everyone so satisfied just because we got gold?" Reina: "Weren't we aiming for Nationals?"

Page 27: Reina: "I hate this." Reina: "I really, really hate this." Kumiko: "......"

Page 28 (end flashback): Shuuichi: "Kumiko?" Kumiko: "Oh, sorry!" Kumiko: *I...* ["I hate this." Those words gradually faded from my mind...]

[ffinn]

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Review (Spoiler Free)

I’m doing this way later than I said I would, but here it is! This is gonna be an informal review mostly made of bullet point lists, but I’m gonna try to make as comprehensive as I can without revealing any spoilers.

Click “read more” to see the review :)

Ok so I’m gonna start with the things I actually liked about The Last Jedi. Which... wasn’t a lot honestly. But here you go.

The Good:

Great space battle scenes. If you’re hoping for some space battles similar to the ones in the original trilogy, you’re not gonna be disappointed.

Beautiful cinematography. There are some amazing shots in this movie that I honestly can’t wait to see used in edits and gifsets once it’s leaked released on dvd.

The Last Jedi is pretty funny?? Personally I didn’t love all the jokes (they could be cheesy) but some of them had me cracking up.

The porgs. Oh my god. They’re used just the right amount so that they’re cute and funny instead of annoying and sskdfgkl I’m just in love with them.

There are a few memorable moments between characters that got me pretty emotional, and a few spectacular moments that had me thinking “wow!” I wish it had more scenes like those.

The Bad: (This list is going to be a lot longer)

There. Is. No. Plot. Things are just all over the place and disconnected from each other and it kind of drags in the middle. There are so many plot holes and questions that weren’t answered and it was really inconsistent at times.

Leia was very under used, and this really upset me because this is the last time we are going to see her in Star Wars.

Poe Dameron is ooc.

Luke Skywalker is ooc.

Finn is ooc.

Rey is ooc.

What this movie did to Luke Skywalker. I can’t even describe how angry I am. The Luke we saw in this movie is not Luke. What he does in this movie, and what this movie says he did in the past, are incredibly ooc for him.

Finn is basically reduced to being the comic relief guy and his character development from The Force Awakens is erased. Just be prepared for disappointment if you like Finn.

Poe Dameron is reduced to some rebellious, hot headed guy who gets people killed and needs to learn his place from 2 white women. Do I even need to elaborate on why this sucks.

I was super excited to see Amilyn Holdo in this movie but I was super underwhelmed yet again! She’s barely even in it and when she is she is not used well.

Rose was not used well either and they kinda made her unlikable.

Rey’s entire story arc revolves around 2 white men, Luke and Kylo. She’s portrayed as gullible and easily manipulated.

Kylo UGHHHHHHHHH they wanted us to relate to him so badly but I sorry Lucasfilm but he’s still horrible and I hate him!

Overall the plot was weird and inconsistent, the characterization was bad (almost everyone was ooc and there was no character development), and there was a lot of potential set up from The Force Awakens that just wasn’t used in The Last Jedi.

So, obviously I have a more negative opinion on The Last Jedi. But for the few good moments that were scattered throughout this mess of a film, I’d give it a 5/10. If I’m being honest I’d recommend NOT going to see it in theaters and just waiting until it leaks comes out.

Thanks for reading my review! 

[talesfromacrip]

septiembre thoughts:

I’ve been, really down lately. not showing it much, but I am.

there are other important matters to deal with than my constant irrelevant life occurrences. (imo)

I can bring them up, sure, but I don’t want it to always be about me..

I can barely hold a conversation and when I do, I just, act like a dumbass.. without a single care in the world when I’m having a plethora it seems.

I ache to let it out but I hold it in. makes me an asshole in the process bc I get moody from it.. be it a bit mad or just plain ol’ sad. it’s not even from anyone but me.. internalized ableism is truly a bitch and it makes other things/thoughts spiral

I don’t ask anyone else whats wrong and all nowadays.. I feel like they think I don’t care about them when I do so fucking much

if I do, ask em, then it’ll come down to me.. like, it makes me incredibly anxious to think and all. there’s, so much to explain yet little time with some being busy and I’m just, here being in the way. adding more weight on top of the pile

-

I feel so empty when I get up from dreams I have with someone I’ll just, never be with.

my mind loves to play these games with me. almost every night or other depending on how I’m feeling. they make me wake up crying or just plain sad. I care about them so much,but I’m just, not good enough and I know I’ll never be. if only I can get rid of dreams. they make life, interesting to an extent which I’m kinda happy about but fuck, how annoying at times

I’m glad they care about me though but I don’t think it’s the way I do and probably will never be. if only I wasn’t in such deep shit when we met maybe things would be, better? I was, in a different mindset though and I wouldn’t want it back at all..

either way, it’s so silly to think about.. pshhh, I’m sure they want a future with me. out of all the other abled and ‘beautiful’ people, me? yeahhhh. I can only dream, which is very exhausting yet very exhilarating, mmm

I can’t share it with them, these.. dreams. we sort of did before, but that was differentish sort of time. it’s a bit embarrassing tbh. pretty deep and Idont want to scare anyone away or ruin something like always with my ‘unpleasant’ thoughts

-

I feel so lonely and tired.. daily. 24/7 on this train of life?

even if I’m surrounded by the same, lovely small group of friends.. I’m still just, so lonely.

I know I’m not in some ways,but it just feels like that. I feel like, I’ll just grow to be a lonely ass loser bc of my conditions. it’s a lot for anyone to handle.. or so I’ve been told

I keep going to sleep at super late times and waking up when it’s after 3-4. sometimes being woken up earlier if someone has to do errand. I feel so exhausted and the pain varies daily within my body. so, that also affects my mood..

my insomnia is getting worse it seems and I don’t think my pills are working they way they should anymore when it comes to knocking my ass out..

they are in ways but in others I feel, hopeless. I might have to up my prescription or not, but we’ll see come appointment day and all

I think I’m suffering from something other than just anxiety, depression and slight ptsd.. time will tell as I’ve said, hopefully, whats wrong with me.. some days I just don’t feel like myself and all and I just, want to go away to somewhere where I won’t bother anyone ever. it’s, tiring but I must know or else I’ll truly go insane i feel whic, I don’t want to burden on anyone

-

I’m worried about my dog and dad with their health issues, even my mom.. what am I gonna do when they’re gone?? there is always somethings bad happening it seems every damn week. I know I can’t control it, but what am I going to if it does come down to that?? where am I gonna go? who’s gonna take care of me??

I feel like I’m getting abandoned or that I will be. that I’ll left behind on some days bc it’s too much.. I’m ‘too much’ it’s ridiculous

I shouldn’t be thinking about this but I am. they’re all I have and then no one after. I- I’m so lost , sighhhhh😪

-

I’m sexually frustrated and there’s absolutely nothing I can do ,but linger and lie in my own reckless thoughts.

I can’t touch myself as some may think I doand I’m not gonna ask for help with this bc I’m an annoying fuck of a person imo.

like, I’m just left here. sitting and trying so hard at times to not think about these thoughts. it’s a bit difficult though and I hate it. especially with someone I know is just, wayyy out of my league.. I, think they feel the same but I don’t know and I’m deathly afraid to even ask.

the old ableist sort of mindset I had made me sick yet it made me a courageous lil bitch. I’m, slowly trying to get that attitude back and without the help of being on my liquid grape death line

these thoughts hurt me more than ever though tbh.. I get so embarrassed trying to even say anything like that. it’s natural to be like this but at this level when I was never?? makes my heart race faster than my chair

well, I know why but it just makes me so sad and angry a bit. sad I cannot do anything I’d like and making it up in scenarios doesn’t do it right.. it does but I want more and to not be able to do that, makes me start to get angry. at myself that is. so, I stop and then I make things awkward it seems as always when I’m trying not to be. I’m not even experienced in this field much and I act like I am. maybe? but who knows

sometimes I’m not even sexually frustrated.

it’s just the urge to be held and hold someone close. (actually hold someone and not the way I do now..) just, feel their warmth and soft heartbeat as I lay on them gently to sleep.. mm I’ll, never have that. all the, lovey romantic bits and all that everyone daydreams about.. I can’t do or barely..

makes me cry

-

I feel disgusted at my own body and I want to scream. not gonna bc I don’t want to hurt my throat and fuck up my singing which helps me calm down and me myself. anyways,,,

I can’t look at myself in the mirror and i hate how big it is.. when I get into my room, it’s right there.

I can’t avoid it and when I do, I still end up seeing it or myself that is. I can’t close my eyes or even cover. not gonna run into anything but my image it seems.

I’m not, cute or anything of the sort.. every time I get told that I get so flustered and say something mean it seems when I’m not.

I would get compliments but some where not so generous..

I don’t want to ask as well every time if it is but it’s hard to tell.

even with genuine people

when I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t feel that. I just feel the bad comments and I can’t help that.. believe me, I want to try and make myself believe I’m beautiful and all. just, not going so well and it’s not a topic you want to bring up or can so easily.

every one of my friends are gorgeous, extremely handsome. just,plain beautiful beings. me? idk, maybe but it doesn’t seem like that. feels like I’m full of myself. people of plus size being aren’t held up to that and if it is, it some sort of fetish.

it’s pretty hard for me to tell who’s being genuine I swear. it’s fucking awful but it’s not my fault I was made fun of. couldn’t even fight back and if I did I’d be in some serious trouble or possibly in the hospital or dead .-.

ughhhhhhhhh

I’ve already descibed some of my bdd issues which I know no one read and knows much besides my therapist and case workers ._.

[heromanvasco]

☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?

Taken from meme: [x] ||No longer accepting||

Warning: This will get long and I will be very mad as I recount this story. Sorry for me getting really riled up about it, but ughhhhhhhhh I just can't. I have to tell the full story to really get the point across.

OKAY SO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT A PERSON. This person literallybecame the bane of my existence even though I didn't actually interact withthem in the truest sense.

Even though I wish for nothing more than for them to trip over arock and land on a pointy rock, I am still a bit grateful towards them. I'llget on that a lil later down the line.

Let's start with how I know them. As we may probably know, I'vestarted Tumblr rp'ing as an indie, with Haru Miura as my muse. A lot of theissues I have with tumblr rp'ing came about on her blog mainly. Ahahahathere were some hard times, but I stuck with it. I love Haru too much to justditch her, in other words. I'm a stubborn mule, what can I say?

Anyways, she's from the series: Katekyoushi Hitman Reborn! andthere are a lot of attractive male charas in the series. This fandom is justnotorious for the yaoi shipping. Like it's very hardcore. There are sometimeshetero ships too but not a lot of it.

Let's put it this way: I've been turned away many times with the'but my muse is gay' excuse. Like---- okay? Did I ask to get in their pants?No. Canonically, Haru is die-hard in love with 'Tsuna-san' so what now? Don'tuse that against me. B[

Again, lots of very attractive male charas... and these musesattracted a certain muse from the DNangel series. (yes the same one I mentionedin a different ask if you read that one) Daisuke has forever been ruined and Irefuse to even try to read the series because the situation just gave me somuch stress.

So the muse was set to a very young age, most probably the canonage. I forget if that meant he was 16 or younger. I don't know the series so Idon't know the age. Let me tell you, I have so many issues with the person. SO.MANY.

Where to start? There is the fact that even without eveninteracting with the muses to start, they'd instantly try to form relationswith them. Sending some suggestive memes or asks. You cannot just go to aGokudera and have Daisuke glomp him. It doesn't work that way? If you knowGokudera, you should know that he does NOT take kindly to people who act toofamiliar.

The mun could NOT understand for the life of her that mun=/=muse. They kept sending anons about why are they so mean? Be nice to that'Daisuke kid'. Um... no? How about you calm down a bit and actually try tointeract rather than jumping the gun? It was in their rules they wantCHEMISTRY. They want to take things slow and not jump the gun. You broke so manyof their rules. You kept sending in anon asks and even if they tried to talk toyou on im, you'd try to play all the pity cards.

I will NEVER EVER live down the fact that you told someone: I'mtaking medication because of you. It's because of you that I'm depressed so I'mtaking pills.

EXCUSE MOI!?!?!?!?!??!?? What is wrong withyou??????????????????? SHE ACTUALLY LEFT TUMBLR RP BECAUSE OF YOU. I LOST AFRIEND BECAUSE OF YOU. Then you have the gall to say that you never said it?I've seen the screenshots, don't mess with me.

I do NOT condone underaged things at all. Your muse is 16 andthere is no indication as to whether or not you (the mun) were underaged aswell. Of course people will be nervous about the way you kept trying to force18+ content on them. If you are underaged, that's illegal and that can makethings very complicated. People kept telling you they were uncomfortable withit, but all you'd say is: "Age is only a number!~"

YEAH? WELL, JAIL IS JAIL!

Now, I can think of at least 5 muses that I know were heavilyaffected by this person. I know for a FACT that at least 2 left because of themand their constant harassment. A very close friend of mine had to constantlytoggle between enabling and disabling anon asks because they'd send so many.

We don't understand how much anger and stress this caused me. Ireally detest seeing my friends bothered. Having two of them leave the rp sceneforever makes me so angry. They didn't really ever rp with any female muses.Only one that I saw and she was a space sheep alien... I'd show proof but theblogs have long since been deleted---.

Now, it isn't to say that they only targeted KHR muses. Therewere others too from DBZ, Jack Frost, Pitch, a final fantasy character (who Ican't remember), and many... many more.

If you didn't reply to them quickly enough, they would get madat you in im. They'd try to guilt trip you into answering quicker by sayingthings like they felt hated, why don't you like them? Are you avoiding them?Things of that nature. I've seen things of that nature from various people Italked to. I talked to a lot of people about their experiences with this mun.

You could see their ooc posts talking about how they felt and itsounded like this person just had a lot of self-confidence and perhaps trustissues. I know how that is. I felt maybe they were just misunderstood orsomething. IDK. I felt they could be given a chance to talk if someone tried toapproach them slowly. (more on this later)

Though I would look around and see all kinds of interactionswith other characters. Muns getting the same kind of harassments. It was evenWORSE when any of these muses interacted with a certain muse from the KHRfandom. Apparently the muses were dating? idk. Either way, Daisuke washorrendously jealous and territorial.

If you so much as interacted with that KHR muse or had anythingremotely flirty in thread, an anon was sure to tell you to back off. They'dgrill you with questions about 'how do you feel about them?' 'are you datingthem?' things like that. It's annoying. I saw those messages so much. That KHRmuse is sort of a main character so it's hard to NOT interact with them if youare in the KHR fandom?

Like what do you want? Chill out, boo.

I've seen many friends of mine just being harassed by anonsbecause they interacted with them. Hilariously enough that other mun didnothing about it. Even if people asked them to talk to that person. Make themstop harassing people. She apparently doesn't like drama and that's fine--- butif you are the REASON because a lot of the drama because your friend refuses tochill--- That is quite literally your problem.

I do not believe you are being a good friend if you allow suchbehavior to continue. Even if she had a reason to acting that horribly topeople, you could always try to explain to people so they understand. Whenpeople understand, they may be more willing to forgive. The fact that she didabsolutely nothing did absolutely nothing to help either of their case. In theend many people tried to avoid both muns.

I played a female muse so it was fine for me to continueinteracting with them though. I never got hassled by them. I unfollowed thatKHR muse the moment I saw that she went along with doing 18+ stuff with thatunderage muse. I personally couldn't do it. It made me think of something in myown past and it made me feel horrible. I still interact with them, but I don'tfollow em.

So I saw their condescending attitude on many blogs. This onepitch in particular kept getting hounded over why they wouldn't be kind to Daisuke.(We realize this is PITCH, yes?) They were getting hounded by anons over whythey wouldn't give Daisuke (a kid) a chance. Like, it's illegal, that's why.

They weren't replying quickly enough to the threads they onlydid in ask format. The person was getting upset with how 'slow' they werebeing. They had time for 'other people' so why were you avoiding their threads?Why can't you reply already? Then it happened: "I'll give you one morechance to thread with me."

Yes, that is what was sent. I'm dead serious. I got sent thattoo so I mean, yeah.

Let's move away from other people and let's talk about ME. As Isaid, they don't interact with male muses. The only muse that I could possiblyplay as (and was super duper attractive) was Shugarl. I had a lot of caps in mycomputer because I like his face.

I sort of rp'ed as him 2 years prior to that but it didn'treally last as the only friend I interacted with left tumblr rp because ofdrama. So I shelved Shugarl and the Knights from the 'Legend of the Sun Knight'series. So I was like okay why not.

They do know of me from Haru's blog, so I had to make analterego mun. I named them Jay. This version acts like Neo when she's justtired and done with the world. I had to pretend to be a new person. Iinteracted with a close friend who was hassled by Daisuke a ton, and then Iinteracted with the KHR muse that Daisuke apparently is shipping with. That'show Daisuke took the bait and contacted me.

It didn't take long. I mean if you look at how attractiveShugarl is, wouldn't you also bite? lol

Anyways, I tried to talk to them, but unfortunately at the timeI was really sick. I was on a lot of medication because of my gastritis. It wasmost probably stress induced but also because of my diet? When I'm stressed, Icrave spicy food. If you know those super hot fire noodles... let's say I livedon that for a while lol. So yeah it got bad. Just drinking water had methrowing up everything in my stomach. I lost 15+ pounds in under a month.

It was bad. My one medication had a side effect of extremedrowsiness. Let me tell you, EXTREME was right. I was constantly just passingout. So I wasn't around much to talk or thread. Let's say that started gettingthem mad.

Why wasn't I responding? Did I hate them? Stop ignoring them. Ikept having to sorta apologize for being 'busy' aka I was super sick but Ididn't want to admit that. I'm stupid like that, okay?

So I kept asking them how they wanted to interact. I didn't knowa thing about their muse so I asked for their about page. Or even a rules page.They didn't have one. Too much work. Okay no, they had an about page but it wasliterally like their url, the name, age, and gender or something. A very simplebio.

They told me to read wiki to learn about the muse. Are youkidding me? No rules because why do they need one? Mistake number 1. They keptsaying they read rules of many blogs but we know they didn't. They keptbreaking them. It was in Jay's rules to not pester them too much about activitybecause he was a busy college student.

Did that stop them? Nope. //squint

Now let me tell you, even if I was sick, I still visited tumblrevery day. So making them wait for 3-5 hours was too long. I was going to begraduating and I had finals. YEAH, I'M BUSY. I was also super duper sick. Iwon't be online every waking moment, please. Did that stop them from getting somad at me about it? Nope.

I told them that I felt that they were guilt tripping me becausethey kept lamenting over how people don't want to interact with them. They keepgetting 'bullied' by people. I told them that I felt they were guilt trippingme at the moment. They kept saying that they weren't before they blocked me.Then a week passed and they talked to me like 'sorry I accidentally blockedyou!'

Sure. okay.

So I was like 'okay we can thread but I want to talk to youabout how I felt you were guilt tripping me.'

INSTA-BLOCKED.

I'm not kidding. I got blocked by just that. Do you understandhow much my animosity spiked because of that? My blood was curdling I was somad.

So another like half a week passed and they say something alongthe lines of:

"I'll give you another chance, do you want to thread with meor not?"

"I already told you that I want to thread with you. Youkeep asking me this. This is the 5th time you asked me. How many times do Ihave to tell you yes? Do you not understand that I'm busy? I'm a collegestudent. I'm not always online. I also told you saying things like that isreally guilt trippy."

Insta-blocked. I was mad, so I went off so I can understand theblock.

Still.

After being blocked for the THIRD time, I soft-blocked them.They tried to follow me again and sent a message: hi! :) This time Iinsta-blocked them. Not about that life.

I love how they always started and talked with cat emojis. Bylove, I MEAN I HATE IT WITH A DIE HARD PASSION. It was like they cared fornothing that other people felt. It was their way or the high way. They couldn'tbother to learn to do anything for other people.

Don't get me started on the fact that they didn't tag anythingand they NEVER EVER CUT THREADS. NEVER. Do you know how hard it was for me tofind anything on that blog? One thread was over 100 notes long and it wasn'tcut. Let that sink in.

It was long.

I had them followed on Shugarl's first blog. Do you know what mydash looked like? It was one-liner 100+ note uncut thread HELL.

So in other words, I wanted to talk to them and be a friend.Someone that they could talk to. I tried to talk to them many times but theykept saying 'I'm feeling uncomfortable so I don't want to talk about thisanymore'.

Dude, one time all I said was: "I think you should tryputting up a rules page. A lot of people like seeing one."

"I feel uncomfortable so I want to talk about somethingelse."

.... wut. Like, WHAT? I was just... giving you advice? It wasthe start of our interactions too. I just-- what?

I kept asking them if they wanted me to write the starter andthey kept holding back like 'I want to talk it out first' because they didn'tknow my muse. So I explained to them and they kept asking stupid questions.

"So he's an angry human?" "I just told you he's a demon. Like, he’s a real demon." "Oh okay! :) So he's got special powers. He's got angelic powers?""No... I just told you he's a demon." "What powers does he have?" "He makes use of mathematical equations to summon blades and otherthings." "Oh okay."

5 mins later."Can you tell me more about his fire powers?" "... He doesn't have fire powers??? Are you even reading any of what I'msaying? You are the one who asked me to tell you about my muse. It's rude foryou to not be properly reading." "I don't feel comfortable anymore, so I'm going to go to bed. Bye! =^.^="

I legit felt like I got cancer from this person.

I'm so serious. I forever laugh how they tried to make mepromise to be nice to Daisuke.

"I can't promise that. Shugarl is a demon. He's not nice,but he can be nice towards kids sometimes. You need to make Daisukebehave."

"I can make him glomp him and have marshmallows!"

"He will literally kick Daisuke if you do that. I told youhe's not nice."

"He's such a meanie!"

"He's a literal demon."

It was like talking to a 5 year old.

So in the end, I tried to interact with them but they drove meso insane we didn't even get that far before I finally blocked them forever.

---

TLDR: I tried to give them a chance but I couldn't do it. Mypatience reached it's limit and I blocked them. This is the first and only rpblog I ever blocked to truly block them and not to softblock. All because ofthis person, the name 'Daisuke' makes me feel unjust rage, and I'll never everlook at DNangel the same way. I'll never even attempt to touch the serieseither.