#ugh. this week was kind of a wash but maybe everything felt worse because i got even less sleep than usual

[artekai]

It's so hard to get any good sleep which makes me tired which makes it hard to keep up with friends and be creative which makes me feel sad and unmotivated which makes it hard to be productive and keep up with my responsibilities which makes me feel like a burden and a letdown which makes me lose sleep at night which makes me tired which

[shorkbrian]

Anxious

Prelude - It took me three evenings to write this (EW that’s the longest I've ever taken) and it’s RLLY long (almost 10k) so be warned. The style is mean’t to be jumbled, grammatically incorrect, and awful, rushed, and incoherent. My day-to-day life process is like this but worse lol and I wanted to capture just the feeling of bad that exists. Have fun.

(Ps Kirishima is the subtlest of creeps here. Def a stalker, but good at lying, and reader is too gullible.)

Pairing - Yandere Kirishima X GN Reader

Warnings - anxiety, panic attack, non con, NSFW, idk the usual.

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/1qFMIjTe9esCDiytqUY19t?si=RrkIvlXMReyT6CYKEh6xdw

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oh god, is that Pro-Hero Red Riot?

Your hands tremble as you lift your drink to your lips, take a shaky sip.

It feels too hot in here, is it hot? You scream internally.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Red Riot, your favorite Pro-Hero in the entire world, was currently standing in line at Starbucks, looking up at the menu with his big, dumb, handsome face. He was wearing his hero costume - meaning he was on-duty, abs out and mask on.

As usual, you had ordered your regular drink, immediately sat down (always the blue armchair by the window, the one with the little table next to it).  Normally you ignored each little tinkling of the bell above the door, the sound signaling another person entering the coffee shop. You just wanted to nurse your drink and look at stupid memes on your phone, try to gas yourself up for the day ahead, convince yourself that you would be able to get through whatever life decides to throw at you.

A particularly violent shake of the bell had your head snapping up, the loud noise startling you. 

And holy fuck.

Red Riot.

Your cheeks were burning as you lowered your eyes to your phone, knowing that the big man was moving up in line, then ordering, then probably moving to wait near the drink pickup.

Looking up was out of the question - you didn’t want to ogle the Hero and make him feel uncomfortable, or for him to catch sight of your stupid blushing. 

You almost dropped your drink the next time you raised it to your lips, your hands were so sweaty. 

And of course that little slip-up had your heart beating ever faster, embarrassed that you had almost made a mess all over yourself, self conscious that someone had seen, oh god, what if people were looking at you, thought you were dumb and couldn’t even drink correctly? Oh god.

You set your drink back onto the little table at your side. A quick glance upward (to check the clock, that’s where your eyes went) and you could see Red Riot out of the corner of your eye, smiling as he took a picture with a fan as they both waited for their respective drinks.

Wouldn’t that be cool, to get a picture with him? But oh, that would mean you’d have to stand up, stumble over awkwardly towards him. Could you leave your drink on the side table? Would your seat be taken before you got back?

The hero would probably be able to spot you from a mile away, see how weirdly you walk, how your body looked. The thought made you cringe; he was so muscled and fit and in-shape, he’d probably think you were fat, or maybe weak? He’d be disgusted, wouldn’t he.

If you managed to get close enough to ask him if he wouldn’t mind taking a picture with you, he’d have to hear your voice crack, see how you shook like a tiny chihuahua from nervousness, see how sweaty and flushed you were from the embarrassment of being alive, of being seen.

God, you hated yourself.

You could never approach the Pro-hero and ask for a picture. He’d see how revolting, how weird and nervous and pathetic you were.

Plus, you’d already talked to the barista to get your coffee, had walked to the coffeeshop all by yourself and committed yourself to the horrifying ordeal of being known and seen by society. You’d done enough today to make your anxiety skyrocket, your hands were already shaking so bad, it’s a miracle you hadn’t dropped your drink or your phone or done something stupid and embarrassing to call attention to yourself.

“Red Riot!” Your eyes flickered up at the barista shouting, saw Red Riot smile and compliment the barista as they handed over his drink, something large and brightly colored and sporting an ungodly amount of whipped cream on top.

Red Riot left the Starbucks, the bell above the door jingling just as violently as it had when he had entered - the man was enthusiastic about seemingly everything, even opening and closing a door.

That’s actually one of the reasons he was your favorite. Red Riot was so confident and self assured, beaming with positivity and kindness. It was clear to see that he loved his job, that he loved life. Of course, you had seen him have bad days - in a few of the interviews after big rescues or horrific fights, his smile seemed to waver a bit, his eyes getting misty as the casualties were mentioned.

But that just showed he was human. Sensitive.

You grabbed your drink again, grimaced as nausea washed over you in a gentle wave. You were such a nervous wreck. But Red Riot had left - the only people here now were the employees and the people waiting in line. You just prayed none of them would pay attention or take notice of you.

----

He was here again.

Holy fuck, he was here again!

This time you weren’t as nervous (a mild feeling of excitement could be felt), you could actually drink out of your Starbucks cup without shaking like a leaf.

The redheaded hero had gotten his drink already, once again something large and colorful and probably loaded with sugar.  But instead of leaving immediately, he moved to sit down and holy fuck - holy fuck he was walking right past you.

You didn’t want to look up, didn’t want to draw attention to yourself by moving - humans will subconsciously look towards movement, you knew that. But he walked further, you saw him sit down by the corner window, settling into the seat comfortably. He was wearing his hero outfit again, abs rippling as he leaned back, and out of the corner of your eye you could see him fiddling with his mask before taking it off and chucking onto the table in front of him.

Ah, so he was probably on a break.

Averting your eyes back to your phone, you tried to ignore his presence.  He was a human being, just like yourself, who deserved and probably appreciated his privacy. God knows, if you were in his shoes, you wouldn’t want fans to even think about you, much less look at you.

Minutes passed, maybe twenty? Thirty? But you had finished your drink. Now it was time to will yourself to your feet, to breathe, in, out. You were going to walk over to the trashcan, throw your drink cup away, and leave to walk back home.

Oh, but you were nervous.

You always felt nervous - this was a common occurrence, and each time you came here (you visited this Starbucks maybe twice a week)  there was always this fight with your anxiety.

People would look at you as soon as you stood up. Did you walk weird? Your body had weird proportions, people would be mocking you inside their heads as you walked. Your outfit wasn’t trendy, it didn’t fit your body right, you looked odd and out-of-place - that’s probably what people thought as soon as their eyes landed on you.

You’d get judged for your drink cup - the size, because people would probably think it was too big for somebody with your body. Or maybe too small? Would people think you don’t take care of yourself? 

Oh god, what if it slipped out of your hand as you were walking over? Even with it being empty, the noise of the cup hitting the floor would draw everyone’s eyes to you. They’d watch as you scramble to pick it up, and they’d probably think how clumsy and awkward and incompetent you were. 

And what if the trashcan was full? Would you carry your empty cup home with you? That would look weird, someone carrying an empty cup down the street. I mean, who does that? Well, you’d seen other people do it, watched them carry their drink until they reached a trashcan, and then throw it away. But what if there weren’t any public trashcans nearby? You’d look so odd, fumbling along trying so hard to walk normally, to not draw attention to yourself, to blend in with everyone.

Should you turn around to see if there was another trashcan in the Starbucks? Oh, but that might look stupid. The employees had seen you so often, you’d look like a fool for not knowing if there was another trashcan.

Ugh, and your walk. You have to focus on straightening your shoulders, keeping your back straight, moving your arms - just a little, not too much. Taking even steps, not walking with a heavy foot or making any stomping or scuffing sounds. 

There was so much to focus on, too much. And now you had been sitting here for five minutes, knuckles white as you gripped your empty drink cup. You looked like a moron.

You could do this.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Remind yourself that people didn’t care, didn’t pay attention to all of the lame little things that you did. You anxiety was misplaced, you worried about things too much, and everything was fine.

You were okay, you could do this.

And so you stood, walked to the trashcan by the door (oh thank god, it was empty), and threw your cup away.  

You heard Red Riot saying bye to the employees, his cheery, upbeat voice as he laughed at something one of them said. Oh, had something been said about you? Were the employees and Red Riot laughing about what a disaster you were? 

No, you were just being nervous, that was your anxiety talking. Red Riot wasn’t that kind of person, and the employees weren’t either. You knew this. 

The door jingled as you opened it, and you heard footsteps behind you so you moved to the side after you had gone through, holding the door open for whoever was behind you.

“Thanks cutie!”

Red Riot was fixing his mask as he strolled past, and your head snapped up, flushing fiercely as you met his gaze. You smiled awkwardly, throwing up a feeble thumbs-up. 

Oh god, why did you do that?

Red Riot smiled back at you, giving his own exuberant thumbs-up. Well, at least he was doing it too. That made your anxiety quiet down a bit, emboldened by your favorite Pro-Hero.

You watched his broad back as he walked away, muscles flexing with each step. He really was a beautiful man, both inside and out.

----

The next time you went to Starbucks, you reached the door right as someone else did (even though you saw them walking towards the door, even though you slowed down your pace so they would reach the door first and would go inside so you wouldn’t have to do that awkward dance of who-gets-the-door and who-goes-inside-first).

But they pierced through the awkwardness, yanked the door open for you and stepped to the side and motioned for you to go in first.

It was Red Riot.

He was wearing casual clothes today, ripped jeans and a dark hoodie, but you’d recognize that spike red hair anywhere, those gleaming shark teeth too.

You nodded your thanks quickly, hurrying through the door so he wouldn’t have to stand there for long. Immediately you headed for the bathroom, not wanting to have the Pro-Hero standing in line behind you. He was intimidating, but in the nicest way possible. You were just afraid there was something about you that he would think to be weird, or odd, or out-of-place. 

Better to just avoid the situation altogether. 

When you finished your business (you were a nervous pee-er), you ordered your drink, deciding to be bold this time and try something different from your usual choice.  It was the little things, the small little bits of life that made you anxious - those were the things that you tried to overcome. I mean, life’s all about the small victories, right? And hopefully if you built up enough small victories, you could have a really big victory someday, like telling your favorite barista that you liked her hair, or picking a different seat to sit in, or trying to make a friend with another customers as you waited in line.

But for today, the small victory was stepping outside of your comfort zone just a little bit, getting something new that you weren’t used to.

You ordered, waited patiently for your drink to be made, and then turned to go settle down in your blue armchair by the window.

And Red Riot was sitting in your seat.

Fuck.

Your hands were suddenly sweaty, and you felt the familiar pang of an upset tummy. You were so tired of being nervous, of freaking out every single time there was a small change that you weren’t aware of, or if something happened that you couldn’t control.

There was an armchair opposite the one you always chose - also blue, but not as comfortable and certainly not with a good view out the window. It directly faced your usual spot, but in all your time coming here, no one had ever sat in it. A first you had just figured it was uncomfortable, but as you came here more and more, you figured that the nook was probably for couples rather than individual coffee drinkers. 

The time you visited was a bit odd, eight PM, a few hours before closing. But it was the least crowded at this time, and the sun was barely setting, and it was the perfect time for you to be unbothered and by yourself.

But there was Red Riot, invading your (unofficial) space.

But it was okay, you could just sit somewhere else.

It felt weird, sliding onto one of the chairs at a small table. You were so used to your usual, safe routine that this threw you off. You were shaking so bad that you missed your mouth on your first try of sipping at the straw. What an idiot. 

You had to try again, holding the straw this time, before you could actually taste the drink.

Selfishly, you wished Red Riot had chosen a different chair.  But he was entitled to sit anywhere he liked, and it was obvious he enjoyed this particular Starbucks. Judging by the familiarity with the employees, he was becoming a regular like yourself.  You only came once or twice a week, but he probably got his drink fix more often than you did.

Hopefully he didn’t think you were stalking him.

Oh god, what if he thought you were stalking him? How would you show that you weren’t stalking him? Come on a different day? At a different time? But you were here first, this was your routine, and that was your chair!

But man, you really didn’t want to make the Pro-Hero uncomfortable - he’d probably had a few crazy fans who had stalked him before.

Sighing, you sipped slowly at your drink, pulling out your phone to look at memes and text a few to your friends. You could still go about your routine, even if you were sitting in a different spot.

----

You ran into him at the grocery store.

It was in the produce aisle, where you were trying to decide between red apples or green, weighing the pros-and-cons of each decision in your head. You probably looked like an idiot, standing in front of the apples and doing nothing but staring at them, but you needed to ignore that right now.

“Yo, Starbucks buddy!”

The shout rang out across the produce section, and you flinched, suddenly drawn out of your apple-selection process. 

It was late, almost ten PM, who and why was shouting in the grocery store??

You weren’t one to turn and stare, but you were curious, and surely whoever shouted like that wouldn’t mind a few questioning looks thrown their way. 

And so you glanced over your shoulder, expecting to see a bunch of teenage boys greeting each other, or maybe a man saying hi to his friend.

Red Riot was excitedly waving at you.

Your brain blanked. Immediately, you turned your head, trying to see if there was someone else he was waving at. But there was no one around you - hell, there wasn’t even anyone else in the produce section except for you and the hero. 

So he had to be waving at you.

Turning your whole body this time, you gave an awkward imitation of his wave, and let out a soft, croaky “Hey…” as the big man walked closer. 

He had a big dumb smile on his big dumb face, and as he reached you, it grew even wider.

“Starbucks buddy! I didn’t mean to make you flinch, my bad. I know I can get a little loud sometimes, haha.” He stopped right in front of you, a grocery basket filled to the brim with meat and a few vegetables clutched on one of his large hands. God, he was so strong, you would be struggling to carry such a heavy basket, and here he was lugging it around like it had nothing but a loaf of bread in it. Red Riot could probably squish your skull to a pulp with just his hand, goddamn he was big.

You shrugged at his words, desperately willing your brain to work and to think of something smart and eloquent and good-to-say. “It’s uh, it’s-it’s fine. I’m just y’know, one of those nervous people, y’know?”

Wow. 

Good job brain.

But the Pro-Hero smiled gently, putting his basket down on the ground. 

“Yeah, I kinda figured.”

Wait, what?

“I’ve seen you a couple times at Starbucks, the one on Grant and 1st. You always seem… well, nervous whenever I see you. At first I just thought it was because I was there, cause y’know, people have different reactions to seeing heros out in public.” 

Your eyes were big, you felt your face erupt in an embarrassed fire, and your hands were fucking sweaty. Why couldn’t you have been born like, a blade of grass? A tree?  Some non-sentient object that didn’t have to worry about thoughts or talking or how other people perceived it?

Red Riot continued, “But I’ve seen you a couple of other times; once on the subway, a few times at that park on the north side of town, haha, you really get around, dont’cha?” 

Ah yes, now would be a good time for something to happen, like a plane to crash into the building and kill both of you instantly. Or some emergency that required his immediate attention, one that was so big and urgent that he would forget about you instantly.

His red eyes were drawn to your leg, which you were subconsciously wiggling like a toddler. His eyes softened, and his voice lowered an octave. “You always seem a bit… anxious.  And I know that feeling, believe it or not. I used to be really insecure and nervous when I was younger-“

Oh, great. Now he was just calling attention to the fact that you were acting like a fucking child, that you were a fully-grown adult that couldn’t handle being out in the world because it was too nerve-wracking. Were you really that easy to read? 

“-but I had some awesome people to help me through it. My moms were always really supportive, and they took such great care of me. It was rough for a little bit, but I learned how to be confident and how to strut my stuff and it’s helped me to help others. It’s sorta why I became a hero, actually.”

You smiled again, nodding. That made sense - each and every hero had a reason for why they wanted to help the general public, and of course Red Riot’s reason would be pure and inspiring.

“But uh, anyways! I just saw you shopping and thought I’d say hi to my Starbucks buddy. I was hoping you’d come and sit by me the other day, when I sat in the place you usually sit? But I understand that it’s sorta intimidating to approach a hero, even one in civilian clothing.”

Shoot, so he’d wanted you to sit by him that day? And here you were thinking that he had unintentionally commandeered your seat and was just trying to be left alone. God, you were so stupid. 

“Oh, I’m-I’m sorry!” You stuttered out, face hotter than the actual sun. “I didn’t realize! I figured you always have people trying to get an autograph or a picture and you probably just want privacy, and I thought that maybe you just wanted to sit there and hadn’t gotten a chance to because I always sit there, which honestly that’s such a selfish thing for me to do - I should probably try to vary the places I sit so I don’t like-“

“Ah, don’t worry about it! You’re fine, okay? Trust me.” Red Riot patted your shoulder (yup, he could definite squeeze your head like a grape), before leaning down to grab his basket off the floor.

“Oh, well uhm, t-thank you, Mr. Red Riot” You resisted the urge to bow.

“Oh!” The man exclaimed, looking slightly surprised, “Call me Kirishima, none of that “Red Riot” stuff, alright?”

Confusion overtook you. “Uh, that’s only for your friends, civilians should respect the heros and call them by their chosen names.” At least, that’s what you had always been told.

But Red Riot just grinned. “Well, what’s your name?”

With a slight shake in your voice, you told him.

“I know your name now, so I officially deem the two of us as friends!” With his free hand, he patted you on the shoulder again. You shivered, and Red Ri-Kirishima seemed to notice.

“You alright (Y/N)? Didn’t hit you too hard, did I?”

“No, no… I’m just… kinda weird about touch I guess.” That was an understatement. You were so incredibly sensitive, every light touch felt searing, hugs always were too much sensation, you shuddered even thinking about cuddling - you were just too sensitive to touch.

Red-Kirishima stepped back, holding his hand up apologetically. “Oops, my bad. I kinda noticed that about you too, I should’ve remembered.”

At your questioning glance, the man hurried to continue. “Well, y’know, I saw that couple bump into you on the subway, and you looked like you were gonna cry. And then, like, at Starbucks you make an effort to not touch the barista’s hands when they give you your change.”

Great, so that was another thing you were obvious and weird about. Just great. You felt embarrassed that Kirishima had noticed that about you so easily, but you guessed being observant was part of his job. 

“Well, I’m gonna go check out now, unless you need help with your groceries?” The man motioned to your barely-filled basket, and you shook your head.

“No, it’s-it’s okay. I can handle this, but thank you.”

Kirishima gave you a thumbs up. “Alright, sounds good. Although, are you planning on walking home?”

You shook your head yes, prepared to receive the “its not safe” talk.  You knew it wasn’t safe, but it was just a few blocks, and you had made the walk to your apartment a million times, plus, you couldn’t afford to pay for an uber or a cab.

“It’s pretty dark out there, mind if I walk you home? I’m a hero and all, I promise I’m not going to try and steal your wallet.”

And there it was.  For someone as nervous as yourself, walking alone in the dark really was no issue. Maybe it’s cause you weren’t afraid of someone trying to hurt you. You looked poor, you were ugly as fuck, and it was only a couple of blocks.

‘It’s okay Mr. R-Kirishima, I don’t mind. I’ll probably be here for a bit longer, don’t worry about me.”

He probably had other things to tend to, and even if he didn’t, you weren’t important enough to make a Pro-Hero go out of his way to walk you home. You were such an inconvenience already, it would just make you feel worse about yourself. And would you have to make small talk as the two of you walked? 

Would he try and insist upon carrying your groceries? Would he want to walk up to your apartment floor with you? Or would he say goodbye in the lobby? Once again, best to just avoid the situation altogether. 

Plus, you knew the hero was just trying to be polite. He probably didn’t actually want to walk you home.

Kirishima tried to offer again, but you turned him down, shaking your head, self-consciously drawing your shoulders up. You probably looked so stupid, like a scared little dog that had gotten yelled at. But it was a nervous reaction, and it felt better than just trying to stand there like a block.

Kirishima smiled gently, told you to have a safe night, and then left to go check out.

You turned back to the apples, trying to focus back on which color you should get, stuck between red, or green.

----

The next time you visited Starbucks, your regular spot was once again empty. It was almost a relief, seeing that you wouldn’t have to figure out if Kirishima wanted to talk today or not, if he wanted you to sit by him, or if he was just trying to make small talk back at the grocery store.

So you settled in, warm hot chocolate in hand as you looked out the window, watched cars whiz by on the street, rain puttering down softly.

And then Kirishima was bursting through the door, sending the door bell jingling in a frenzy, rain patterned heavily over his jean jacket, His eyes immediately found you, and his face lit up in a smile.

“(Y/N)!!!!”

You gave a little wave, watching as Kirishima smiled cheerily at you, before quickly ordering a drink. Immediately, the muscled redhead came to sit down in the armchair opposite you, panting a little bit.

“Wooo, I had to run here, started raining on me!”

“I can tell.” You let out a small laugh, noticing how his spiky hair was drooping from getting rained on. 

“Glad to see you got home okay the other night.” The male blurted, leaning forward so he could strip off his jacket.

You paused. “What do you mean?”

He flashed you a grin, throwing his jacket over the back of the chair. “Well, you’re here, aren’t you?”

Ah, he had a point.

His name was called, and Kirishima jumped up and went to pick up his drink before plopping back down in the armchair with a sigh.

“So, (Y/N), you ever been to the ocean before? All this water, the streets might be an ocean by the time we leave.”

Kirishima proceeded to launch into a story about the time he went to the ocean with his buddy Bakugou, how they had swam with turtles and even got to see a whale.

You were glad he was doing all the talking, letting you sit back and listen while you sipped at your hot cocoa. There was no pressure for you to talk, no pressure for you to try and fumble for the right words. And it was nice, seeing the big hero be so excited and animated, gesturing with his hands and almost spilling his drink all over himself.

As you listened to him talk, you settled back further into the armchair contentedly. He was a nice person to be around, you could see yourself being friends with him, if he didn’t mind.

——

And friends you did become.

It wasn’t long before the two of you exchanged numbers - Kirishima had wanted to send you a picture of a dog he had seen the other day while he was out patrolling.

The two of you texted memes to each other, cute pictures of animals, and even though your anxiety was loud and demanding and convinced you that you were bothering the man, Kirishima always assured you that was never the case.

He always seemed to be able to tell when you were feeling anxious, when nervousness settled deep in your bones and refused to leave. You slowly began to notice that with Kirishima, your anxiety was quieter. It was easy to let the exuberant man to take the lead, for him to make decisions, whether to walk up and ask to pet the cute dog or not. It was freeing in a way, letting your new friend take your anxiety and make it be quiet. 

After all, no one gave you a second glance, now that you were trailing behind Pro-Hero Red Riot. 

Kirishima was such a character, goofy, cheerful, and always sporting a sunny disposition. His casual fashion consisted of the most god-awful color combinations and mixed patterns. It wasn’t uncommon for the man to bounce towards you in greeting, wearing neon green crocs, dark blue overalls that were plaid, and a head-ache inducing black-and-white psychedelic shirt. Somehow he made it all work, and didn’t look odd or out of place.

You admired him, truly. You wished you could have his confidence, his attitude and bouncy personality. If you had confidence like that, you could probably do anything. As it stood right now, you could barely approach someone on the street and ask to pet their dog.

It had been so embarrassing, walking with Kirishima down the street and listening to him talk between gulps of a bright pink slushy. You spotted a woman walking a dog on the other side of the street, a big dog, fluffy and sweet-looking and happily walking along it’s owner, stopping to sniff at each plant that grew in the cracks of the sidewalk.

“Cute, I wish I could pet that dog.” You interrupted Kiri’s story, gazing wistfully at the dog. 

Kirishima paused, swiveling his head to see what dog you were talking about. Once he did, his eyes lit up, and he grabbed your hand. “Lets go pet it then!” But when he tried to pull you forward, you balked, pulling your wrist backward. 

“I-I can’t, it’s….. I don’t know, It’s fine, I’ll stay here.”

Kirishima raised an eyebrow, studying you as he took another slow sip of his slushy. You had your own slushy, a significantly smaller size than the beefy Pro-Hero’s own giant cup.  

“(Y/N), it’s okay - I’ll do all the talking, ‘kay?”

He could tell that the thought of talking to the owner, asking to pet their dog, was making you nervous. What if they said no? What if they thought you were being rude? Would the dog not like you? Would the owner think you looked funny? What if they were hurrying somewhere?

But if Kirishima did all the talking….. maybe you could manage trailing behind him, only emerging from his shadow if the owner said yes to petting their dog. 

You gave the big man a weak smile, nodding gingerly before getting yanked forward, Kirishima already speed-walking towards the lady.

He asked, the lady said yes - you got to pet the absolute cutest dog ever. It was heaven. 

You were grateful for Kirishima - shyly told him as much. If you were by yourself, you would have noticed the cute dog, but done nothing about it, just wished you had the courage to approach and ask if you could pet it.

But with Kiri? He made anything possible.

----

You were worried you were annoying him.

There was no evidence, but still, wouldn’t it be annoying to have an anxious little shadow?  One that shook and stuttered and could barely go to the grocery store without freaking out and having a panic attack? Your fears and feelings weren’t entirely unfounded, I mean,  there were millions upon millions of possible outcomes of any one action. Unfortunately, your brain liked to focus only on the negative options.

But Kirishima never got tired, never got frustrated with you. He didn’t mind ordering for the both of you when you got snacks at a fast-food place during long afternoons. He didn’t mind taking up extra space with his personality, being loud and brash and drawing attention to himself when you felt like everyone was watching you, waiting for you to make a stupid mistake. 

Kiri seemed to like walking you home, helped you check your windows and in the closet and under the bed (not for people, but what if there was some eldritch monster that lurked just out of sight?). He never made fun of you for your feelings or fears, just gently listened and then tried to help you deal with them.

He even got you to be somewhat comfortable with making silly little mistakes in public. One time the man tripped on thin air, spilling warm coffee all over you and himself. Immediately he burst out laughing at his own clumsiness, apologizing between giggles as he heaved himself off the floor and went to go grab napkins.

If you had spilled a drink on him and yourself, you would’ve been asking Siri where the nearest cliff was. But you realized, the same way that you weren’t worried, and how it wasn’t that big of a problem that your shirt was now soaked with sweet coffee and sticking to your skin, Kirishima probably wouldn’t care if you spilled anything on him.

After all, it was an honest mistake.

The big man was helping you to learn how to be more comfortable in the world. But still, the creeping suspicion that he was just being kind to you out of sheer politeness was forefront in your mind. 

So you came up with a question, practiced asking it in the mirror, took several days to build up your confidence to ask Kirishima.

“Do you actually want to be friends with me?”

And sure, that might be a forward question. But you valued honesty, had told him so a few times when he asked you to rate his outfit on a scale from 1-10 (usually it was a solid 10 - his personality making the outfit shine) you tried not to lie to others, and expected the same courtesy from them.

The two of you were in the park, resting on one of the benches after walking around and looking at the different plants (one of your favorite activities, no matter how lame). And now was as good a time as ever, so you popped the question, barely stuttering once.

Kirishima was silent for a bit, and you were almost afraid of looking up at him. The truth would come out now - how he just saw a pathetic little civilian and felt so much pity for them that he decided to be their friend. You were just a burden to him, how could you ever be anything else?

When you dared to look up at the big redhead, the intensity in his gaze had you leaning towards the side nervously, away from the strength of all his attention focused on you.

“(Y/N)…. becoming friends with you was - it’s been the best decision I’ve ever made in my life.” His voice held such sincerity, his face open and honest. You recoiled from the statement, uncomfortable with the compliment. That had to be a lie, he was just saying that to make you feel better. You were so pathetic and weak that other people had to pretend that you were better than you actually were to avoid hurting your feelings. You wished you never existed. Why did you even ask him that question in the first place? There was no way that someone as nice as Kirishima would actually tell you how worthless and pitiful you were.

Large hands grabbed your own, and you jumped. Kirishima’s hands were warm, scarred and calloused, yet soft in their grip as they gently squeezed your own hands. You tried not to flinch at the contact. 

“I know that you don’t believe me, but you should. You know-“ One of his hands went to run through his hair, tousling through it’s straight, un-gelled style, before returning to your hand. “-I was pretty lonely before I met you. Like, I had my squad - Bakugou and Mina and Denki and Sero…. But it just….. There was something missing.”

Kirishima leaned close to you, your sides pressing together, his red eyes trying to catch your own. You were too shy, had to look off to the side.

“There was someone missing. And when I saw you, it felt…. Everything just clicked. I was missing you.”

You could feel his breath fanning against the side of your flaming hot face. It was uncomfortable. He was lying, he had to be. He was just trying to help you be confident in yourself, so he wouldn’t have to baby you and hold your hand and help you do simple things like ordering food or going for walks and not worrying about what people thought of you.

He was just being nice.

For some reason, you felt your throat clog up, felt the spicy sting of tears building up. Why did you feel like crying? You weren’t exactly in tune with any of your other emotions, only paid attention if it was anxiety or fear.  

A thumb rubbed over your knuckles soothingly (it burned), and the next thing you knew you were being enveloped in a bear hug, Kirishima’s arms crushing you into his chest, his pecs pressing against your face. 

Goddamn, he was built as fuck.

You tried to keep still, not squirm away from his touch like a child. You were an adult, you could handle a little bit of discomfort over being touched.

Kiri sighed. “I like being around you (Y/N). You don’t judge me for my mistakes, you accept them - you accept me. You uh, you make me happy dude, like, really happy.”

You chuckled a little bit at the redheads use of the word “dude”. Only a meathead could turn a sappy moment on it’s head by using the word “dude”. Still, you liked the way Kirishima talked, from the excited chatter when he was talking about something he liked, to the slow, comforting honey when he was being sincere and intimate, like now.

At the same time, your heart felt tight, waiting for the inevitable but that was sure to come. For the redhead to explain that he enjoyed your company but he was just being polite to a nervous civilian who couldn’t fend for themselves. You fun to hang out with but it was only because you made him look better, cooler and manlier because he was nice to someone as pathetic as you.

The but never came. You waited and waited, but Kirishima just kept the slow rhythm of his thumb rubbing over your knuckles, kept your face pressed into his chest and an arm wrapped around your body. You didn’t know what to do. 

Should you pull back? Your throat felt tight again. Kirishima was lying to you, he had to be. There wasn’t any way that someone would actually enjoy you as a person.

You pulled back from the warmth of his body, pulled your hand away from his. “I don’t….. I want honesty Kirishima. Please? Lies hurt more than the truth, please. I’m not a good person, I’m pathetic and nervous and shy, and I’m too loud sometimes, and my body looks weird, and I’m ugly and disgusting, and-“

“(Y/N), stop.” His voice thundered, cutting you off. Immediately, you fell silent, chest tightening, gaze falling to your lap. He was right. He didn’t need to hear all your insecurities, they were already clear to see. You were such a drag on his life, he probably hated having to deal with you, having to see you.

“Kiri, I’m not uhm-“ Your voice was wavering. “-I’m not feeling so great, I think I’m gonna head home.”

As you stood, so did the redhead. “Please don’t feel obligated to walk me home, I know it’s way out of your way.” He probably hated every second of it, probably insisted just to be polite. Even now, Kirishima was beginning to protest, grabbing at your hand. You pulled back, eyes fixed on the ground.

“Kiri, please.” You whispered, tears threatening to fall. You hated yourself. You hated yourself so much, your chest hurt, your ears felt full, everything felt too heavy and bad - there weren’t even any words to explain it. You just wanted to go home and cry, sob into a pillow.

Kirishima stayed put, probably watching you walk away from the park. God, you hoped he wasn’t, you walked so weirdly. Why couldn’t you just disappear?

——

You tried your best to disappear. 

You did the bare minimum, turning in assignments an hour before they were due, half-assing them. You hardly ventured out of your room, only to grab water or to use the bathroom.

Neighbors kept knocking on your door, probably the couple in the apartment opposite you, asking for a cup of sugar so they could make cookies, or wanting to tell you that your mail downstairs was getting full. But being the person you were, you were far too nervous to go answer the door. You were probably annoying people. It would just be better for the world if you weren’t in it, wouldn’t it?

Kirishima kept trying to text you, call you (Even though he knew you couldn’t pick up - calls terrified you), trying to coax you to go on a walk with him, to come get coffee or a slushie with him when he finished working. You brushed him off with lame excuses, telling him you were sick, backtracking when he said he was coming over with soup and movies. You didn’t feel well enough for company. 

Still, the man kept texting you several times a day, then only a few times, and now it was down to just once a day. In one corner of your mind, it hurt. The rest of your mind knew that it was for the best, knew that his life was going to be better because you weren’t going to be there bothering him. 

His texts consisted of simple messages now, ones you felt bad not responding to, but if you did respond, you hated yourself for the rest of the day. You sucked.

“(Y/N), look at this dog!” *IMAGE ATTACHED*

Cute.

“Yo, you wanna come get something to drink at our place? They have a deal on coffee today!”

Sorry Kiri, I’m not feeling too good today. You should go get a drink though, have fun!

“I saw some people rollerskating in the park, we should try that!”

Yeah.

“Would you wanna go for a walk sometime?”

I don’t think so, I’m pretty busy right now. You should go and get sunshine though, you deserve it!

“We need to go to our Starbucks soon, I need COFFEE haha”

(:

“Gonna ever come see where I work? I can show you my office, it’s super cool!”

“(Y/N), you doing okay?”

“I miss you.”

----

You woke up to the sound of your neighbors (or maybe the complex manager?) knocking on your door.  Anxiety filled you, palms immediately becoming clammy, so you fumbled around your bed, searching for your earbuds. Maybe if you could listen to music, you could calm down? Sometimes that worked, sometimes not. It really depended on how worked up you were.

Luckily you found them, quickly stuffing them in your ears as you queued music up on your phone. The knocking faded out as music filled your ears, but your anxiety still persisted. You curled up onto your side, hugging a pillow to your chest, almost on the verge of tears from nothing more than a few knocks at your door. You were such a burden to society.

It took a minute, but your heart stopped racing, palms stopped sweating, and you fell back asleep. You were so tired of being awake.

----

You awoke a second time to hands carding gently through your hair. It felt weird for a brief second, but you just ignored the feeling - until you remembered that you lived alone, and the front door was supposed to be locked. 

Squeaking in panic, you shot up, eyes wide, scrambling back into the corner of your bed, clutching the blanket to your chest. 

Kirishima blinked at you, hand still hovering over where your he’d had previously been. He was sitting on the edge of your bed, shoes off, bare feet on the floor.

Your eyes were still wide with fear, chest heaving with panic, but you managed to rip out your earbuds. “Kirishima? How-how did you get in?!? What are you….” You trailed off, tugging your blanket closer around your body as you realized that you were in your pajamas. They weren’t provocative, nor exposed any skin, but they drowned your form, were probably stained and most likely dirty, and you definitely looked awful. But back to the issue at hand, how did Kiri get in your apartment?

The man in question gave a dorky little wave, lips quirking up ever so slightly. 

“(Y/N), hey! I haven’t seen you in so long!” He paused for a second, and when he spoke again, his voice was softer, more serious. “I missed you… I was kinda worried.”

“But how are you- I mean…. inside?” You stuttered, completely flustered.

“Oh, I talked to the complex manager, said I was a family member who was really worried about you. Showed him how you haven’t been answering my texts…. I was really worried (Y/N). You were giving such weird replies to my texts, and then you stopped answering completely, and no one answered the door whenever I knocked.”

Wait, that was him knocking? All those times?

You were going to jump out the window. 

“Kiri… I didn’t mean to worry you, I just… You shouldn’t be worried about me.”

“Why not? I care about you, I… I wanted to see you.”

It was time to be honest, say the things that were painful to say. The truths that hurt your heart, but needed to be said. Otherwise, Kirishima just wouldn’t get it.

“Kiri, I’m not-I’m not worth your worry. I don’t deserve it. I’m a nervous, depressed wreck, who can’t even open a door or answer the phone. You’re-you’re being nice to me cause you’re a good person. I don’t think I should be… well, like, around you. I just-I bring you down, and you have to do stuff for me and reassure me and I’m such a burden. Please just, I don’t know, please just don’t give me any more attention. I’m so stupid and gross and you should be friends with someone who isn’t….. isn’t like me.”

You finished your rant, almost breathless, choked up, feeling ready to cry.

Silence reigned between the two of you, everything quiet except for the sound of your breathing and the rhythmic clicking of your fan.

It was uncomfortable. But you’d said your piece. It’d be weird if you said anything else, right? Should you say something else? Was he going to hate you for wasting his time? Holy crap, Kirishima is gonna hate you for wasting his time, for not telling him that at the beginning, when he first got to know you.

“(Y/N)-“ The sound of Kirishima’s soft, low voice made your head snap up, up to his face. He was looking at you, red eyes dark and large and filled with… pity? Sadness? “-I don’t even know how to tell you how wrong you are about that.”

The blanket shrouding your body was quickly pulled away, Kirishima discarding it to the side so he could shuffle closer to you, wrap you in one of his signature death-grip hugs. You were quickly pulled into his arms, the large man hunched over you as he squeezed you tight. It didn’t feel good. You wished he would remember that you didn’t like to be touched.

“I was pretty sure of my feelings before… well, before you asked if I wanted to be friends with you. And truthfully, I wasn’t exactly honest with you.” Your heart gave the tiniest squeeze. You knew he had been lying to you, but yeah, it did kinda hurt to hear him admit it. 

“I kinda wanna be more than friends with you, actually.”

His hold on your body loosened, pulling back so he could look at your face. Your ugly, about-to-cry, gross face. You tried to turn away, pull out of his grip and find your blanket and crawl underneath it and stay there until you died. There was no way he was coming onto you - you weren’t good enough for him. He was Kirishima, Red Riot, pro hero, sunshine of the world, manliest and strongest guy out there.

And you were just….

You.

Kirishima didn’t let you move away. He grabbed your arms, pulled you up a bit so you were at his level. “I’m serious about this. I know you don’t believe me, all that anxiety and nervousness trying to lie to you, but….” A quick glance at his face showed the redhead to be blushing. “I’ve wanted to be more than friends from the moment I first saw you.”

Exasperated, almost angry at this point (he was lying), you scoffed, wiggling in his grip to signal that you wanted to let go. 

“Kiri, I held a door open for you, it was nothing special. I’m ugly and lame and I panic over the slightest things, stop lying to me and saying that I’m someone worth your time.” Surprised, Kirishima loosened his grasp on your arms, and you moved away from him to sit on the edge of the bed. “I could never be worth your time.”

Was silence becoming a trend between the two of you? Apparently, because Kirishima didn’t say anything, just crawled over and sat down next to you. The big man was hardly ever silent, always talking about this, that, or the other. You were just a pro at messing things up, weren’t you?

A moment longer of sitting awkwardly in silence. You couldn’t take it anymore, you wanted to be able to cry about your shameful existence in peace, without having to entertain Kiri’s pity and lies.

“Can you….. Can you-you go…. Please?” You whispered, hugging your arms around your body. Oh yeah, you had forgotten you were in your gross, oversized pajamas. Just another thing for you to feel bad about.

Kirishima didn’t move.

Afraid he hadn’t heard you, you turned bright red, what an idiot - you can’t even speak loud enough to be heard. You stuttered as you started to repeat your request, but Kirishima cut you off.

“Why can’t you see?” He turned to you. “You’re the most lovely thing, I want to be around you all the time. Why can’t you see that you’re the most wonderful person in the world?”

Horrified, you reeled back. He was just pushing more lies. You felt so uncomfortable, you hated this, you wanted him to stop. “That’s-that’s just some fantasy Kiri…. I’m awful. Please, just go-“

“No.”

No? His voice sounded different, harsh and filled with authority. You looked at your feet, settled against the bare floor. You just wanted to sleep, and sleep, and never have to wake up. Why did being a human have to be so hard? 

Might as well let the big redhead say his piece, make you feel worse about yourself. Then you could shove him out the door and spend the next week sobbing yourself sick.You felt bad, you couldn’t even explain your own emotions, put a name to this feeling that was painful and clawed at your chest like it was trying to rip you apart.

“You aren’t understanding me (Y/N). That’s no fantasy of mine - that’s reality.” A large hand grabbed your chin softly, turning your face towards Kiri’s. “Whenever I come up with a fantasy that involves you, I end up fucking my fist ’til I go raw.” 

The admission made you stutter, and you hadn’t thought it was possible for you to blush harder, but here you were - twelve shades redder than the reddest tomato. 

Kiri didn’t give you a chance to breathe. “I missed you so much, you don’t even realize. I could compliment you until I go blue in the face, but you’re so shy and nervous and adorable, you’d never, ever believe me.”

Well, that much was true. At least he knew you well.

“So instead, I’m just gonna show you how much you mean to me.”

Soft lips met your own, a hand fisting into your hair and twisting your head back to make kissing you easier for Kiri. You couldn’t even think, barely had presence of mind to push at the solid man, hitting his chest. You felt ugly, and gross, and stupid and weak, was this some sort of prank? This had to be some sort of prank. There’s no way Kirishima could actually be attracted to you.

Your mind was drawn to the present when a sharp blossom of pain emanated from your lip. Kiri pulled back, a single drop of blood running down his chin as he stared at you, your foreheads almost touching.

“Don’t get in your head, I want you here. Don’t think, just feel.” 

You wanted to say something, to open your mouth and ask him again to leave. He shouldn’t be kissing you, he should be kissing someone prettier, stronger, someone who had their life together. 

You wanted to protest, but you were being pushed onto your back on the bed, Kiri’s large, calloused hands grabbing at your limbs and bodily moving you however he saw fit despite your squirming.

“Kir-stop-stop touching! Don’t, please, I’m-I’m so gross-“

His lips were on yours again, swallowing your cries as he moved the two of you around on the small bed until you were splayed out underneath him. He was moving so quickly, with such confidence and self-assuredness that you couldn’t keep up. His hands were starting to squeeze at your waist, his thighs bracketing your own as the big man got comfortable over you, leaning down to avoid breaking the deep, passionate kiss.

Your lungs were burning.

You had to pull your face to the side, pushing at Kiri’s shoulders as you did so, making panicked noises as you tried (and failed) to take in air through your nose. How the hell was Kiri holding his breath this long? 

The man finally got the hint, letting you pull away from him, gasping for air. You felt dizzy, his hands were still squeezing and stroking over your waist, it was too much. As you tried to get your breathing under control, you glanced up at your friend, red-faced, on the verge of tears. Why was he doing this? You were so gross, ugly, nothing when compared to how fit and muscular and handsome Kirishima was.

HIs eyes were dark, chin smeared red from the blood earlier - you bet your chin looked the same. His chest rose and fell rapidly, seemingly also out of breath, but the moment your eyes met his, the man was descending again, this time to press hot kisses all over your face, on your jaw, behind your ears.

“Don’t, oh, please don’t. Kiri-why are you-? Stop-“ You gasped, the sensations of his lips trailing across your skin too much for you to handle. A kiss to the column of your throat had you jolting, trying to sit up, not knowing what you were doing but trying to get away. It was too much.

“Lay back.” Kiri’s deep voice rumbled. “Let me make you feel good. You’ll forget about the anxiety, okay? Just focus on me.”

You didn’t want to focus on him. But at the same time, the situation was so overwhelming, you didn’t know what to do except let him push you back down with a hand on your chest. 

Before you could process what happened, your clothes were off, his clothes gone as well. You wanted to shriek; cry and cover yourself and tell Kirishima to leave, but everything was happening too fast, and your body couldn’t keep up. 

You felt floaty, buzzy, like you were in a weird dream, ears stopped up full of cotton. 

Wet fingers prodded at your entrance. Oh, were they Kiri’s? When had they gotten wet? The fingers retracted, and you watched Kirishima gather the saliva in his mouth before spitting onto his hand. 

Ah.

The fingers were back, one pushing into you, the pressure too deep, too tight, too harsh. You knew in the back of your mind that you probably looked so stupid, gasping and shivering and shaking, but you couldn’t control it.

One finger turned into two, then three, then four, and then they were gone, something much bigger trying to split you open.

You felt sick.

You couldn’t move.

Kirishima was kissing your face again, his touch burning, making your skin feel tingly and painful and rough everywhere he touched. It hurt. He was saying something, but your ears were buzzing, everything felt fuzzy and weird, and you didn’t know where to look, what to do, except lie there and let the man continue.

He was soft, gentle. But no amount of easy touches or reassuring words were getting through to you, just the overwhelming sensation of being too full, nausea thick in your stomach, throat closing up. The room tasted like blood.

The pressure wasn’t going away, just building and building and building as Kirishima thrust into you, until eventually a twinge of pleasure slipped into your system alongside the discomfort of being filled. 

It felt weird… nice? You couldn’t tell anymore.

There was only sweat, slick, slapping noises, rough hands running over your skin, words being said. You couldn’t grasp anything. 

You felt full, empty, all at the same time. 

The pleasure built, higher and higher and higher until it burst into little sharp fragments that ran through your veins, zinging into your wrists, sparking through your tummy.

And then there was warmth inside you, and the part of you still lucid recognized that Kirishima had just cum inside your body.

You couldn’t get enough air into your lungs.

----

Kirishima was laying beside you, making shushing sounds, stroking your hair, pulling the blanket up around the two of you.  The pressure between your legs was gone, as was the stinging pleasure that had spilled all over your body. You couldn’t feel, everything was still too much, too loud and bright and rough and warm.

Kirishima was still stroking your hair as you finally calmed down, hyperventilating coming to a stop, shaking still there, but not as violent as it had been. 

“-so strong, and your laugh always makes me happy. I love you, and I know you love me back. It’s gonna take some time for us to work past all this nervous stuff, but I’m not give up. I’ll always be here for you, you know that?”

He was rambling, occasionally pressing soft kisses to your neck, along your collarbone - innocent, reassuring. You closed your eyes. 

“You need someone to be there for you, I know. You get so anxious, and you bottle up your feelings, and I know you get so scared of saying or doing the wrong thing and you just freeze or panic.” He continued. “You won’t ever have to worry about that with me. We worked around it today, yeah? You just relax, and let me lead. I’m never gonna steer you wrong (Y/N).”

You felt cold.

[allnewalldifferentwildspider]

Zuko & Katara's Relationship Dynamic

This is like the third or fourth time I've tried to write up this post so please bare with me.

Oh wow. That video. Hopefully everyone has seen it now. Not only did it articulate arguments I've been making for years, but it also brought up ideas I had never thought of or noticed before. Watching that and watching the second half of Book 3 again (because it's my favorite) made me want to redo my zutara dynamic post.

I'm going to be using the tiny bits and pieces the show gave us to see how Zuko and Katara's relationship looks and how it would look if they gave us more because...Bryke really fucking hated zutara. I mean, I guess they did.

Katara is compassionate; Zuko is empathetic

A lot of anti-zutara arguments have said that Zuko and Katara could never be together because they would constantly fight and hate each other and it end sooner than later. Not only does this actually describe maiko, but that argument would need to ignore the characters' actual character.

One of Katara's biggest character traits is how compassionate she is. She has a drive to help others and ease their pain. Whether it's getting Aang out of the iceberg or healing a Fire Nation fishing village, Katara will go out of her way to help someone in need.

Katara: No. I will never ever turn my back on people who need me.

Zuko is very emotional and passionate person. As much as he tried to hide it to appease his father, Zuko does want to open up and connect with people. Unfortunately, aside from his uncle, most of the other people he knows are like Zhao and Azula. Not the most understanding of crowds. But because of this he can pick up what people are really thinking and feeling. Think of it as a defense mechanism he developed growing up around people like Azula.

Get these two kinds of people together and you get the crystal catacombs scene. Katara lashes out at Zuko until she breaks down. When she does Zuko opens up with empathy since they have something in common. This creates the beginning of an understanding between the two. Zuko uses that to finally open up to someone who isn't his uncle and Katara listens and reaches out to help. Contrast to the first episode of Book 3 when Zuko tries to voice his thoughts and concerns to Mai and she...doesn't really care.

Something similar happens during The Southern Raiders. Zuko figures out that Katara is taking out her anger of being separated from her father by The Fire Nation onto him and even connecting her mother's death to him.

It's not the first time Zuko has done this either. He easily figured out that Sokka was planning on going to The Boiling Rock. He does it again during Sozin's Comet when he tells Katara that Aang needs to figure out what to do about Ozai by himself.

There's a noticeable pattern of behavior by the time Sozin's Comet arrives. Zuko voices his concerns about meeting his uncle again and Katara is right there to help him through it.

Zuko's empathy combined with Katara's compassion creates almost a cycle of understanding and emotional vulnerability that the two can't really get with anyone else. One notices the other having concerns or problems and goes to give comfort by words or by actions.

Zuko still has a temper but so does Katara

Even after Zuko's fever dream character change thing, even after The Day of Black Sun, he still has it in him to yell at anyone who commits even the slightest transgressions against him:

Aang: That one felt kinda hot. Zuko: Don't patronize me. You know what it's supposed to look like. Aang: Sorry, sifu hotman. Zuko: And stop calling me that!

Sokka: So all we have to do is make Zuko angry. Easy enough. *pokes him with his sword* *annoying laugh* Zuko: All right! Cut it out!

Maybe it's the firebender in him or maybe he really is just like that. Basically if you annoy him, he'll let you know. What people sometimes overlook is that while it takes Katara a bit longer, she also gets worked up when people upset her.

Toph: What's the matter? Can't handle some dirt, Madame Fussy Britches? Katara: Oh, sorry, did I splash you, mud slug?

And remember, it was Katara getting angry at Sokka that even broke the iceberg that revealed Aang.

Katara: Ugh, I'm embarrassed to be related to you! Ever since Mom died I've been doing all the work around camp while you've been off playing soldier! Sokka: Uh... Katara? Katara: I even wash all the clothes! Have you ever smelled your dirty socks? Let me tell you, NOT PLEASANT! Sokka: Katara! Settle down! Katara: No, that's it. I'm done helping you. From now on, you're on your own!

The point is that it is both Zuko and Katara that are very passionate and emotional people. One of them isn't emotionally dominating the other because they both wear their emotions on their sleeves.

This also comes in to play when they set goals for themselves. When Zuko sets a goal, he puts everything into it. Katara is the same way. The difference is that Zuko's drive sometimes gives him a one-track mind while Katara is more flexible. Like for example Zuko being so focused on finding Aang before Sozin's Comet that he ignores Toph's story about her childhood versus Katara wanting to go to the North Pole but taking time to stop and help whoever they come across.

This passion also fuels their values and how strongly they stand by their beliefs. I already put The Painted Lady quote up above but Zuko's morality is what is making him so angry at himself during The Beach. He knows what he did was wrong, but he couldn't face it yet.

Sometimes their emotions get the better of them, but it's only because they are passionate about what they're doing.

Their natural teamwork is amazing

I can't provide a lot of clues in this bit because it's more of a visual thing. Just consider how flawlessly their plans worked during their attack on The Southern Raiders. Especially when you consider that it was a stealth mission so they barely even said anything to each other during and it still went incredibly well.

You could see it again during their mock battle with The Melon Lord. Sokka must have noticed because he paired them together to deliver some "liquidy-hot offence." And they pulled it off, again, without having to say anything.

They've only been a team for a few weeks(?), days(?) but they act as if they've been doing it for years.

They trust each other's judgment

Piggybacking of the previous point, Zuko and Katara have only been a team for a while but there seems to be a level of understanding in terms of judgement. They both know that whatever the other chooses is going to be a well-thought out decision. Maybe it's because they see each other as the mature members of the group even though Sokka is the same age as Zuko? I don't know.

Aang disappears right before they embark on their fight against the Fire Lord, and out of nowhere, Katara puts Zuko in charge.

Zuko: Get out of the bison's mouth, Sokka. We have a real problem here. Aang is nowhere to be found and the comet is only two days away. Katara: What should we do Zuko? Zuko: I don't know. Why are you all looking at me? Katara: Well, you are kind of the expert on tracking Aang.

and that wasn't the first time in that episode that she went along with one of Zuko's decisions

Katara: Aang, don't walk away from this. *She begins to walk towards him as a hand touches her shoulder to stop her from doing so.* Zuko: Let him go. He needs time to sort it out by himself.

As a lot of people have pointed out during the entirety of The Southern Raiders, Zuko never gives a suggestion on what he thinks Katara should do. Aside from making it a stealth mission, he follows her lead the entire way.

Katara teases Zuko (and he lets her)

The fun one. This one has two parts: pre and post The Southern Raiders.

Before The Southern Raiders, Katara was tolerating Zuko. She was still angry with him about the betrayal at Ba Sing Se. Getting little jabs at him was the only thing that was really helping her from loosing her cool around him.

Katara: I'm sorry. I'm just laughing at the irony. You know... how it would have been nice for us if you lost your firebending a long time ago? Zuko: Well it's not lost. It's just weaker for some reason. Katara: Maybe you're just not as good as you think you are. Toph: Ouch.

He just finished yelling at Aang and Sokka but all he does is glare at Katara. She does it again, but to be fair, he kind of set himself up for it.

Zuko: It's a sacred form that happens to be thousands of years old! Katara: Oh yeah? What's your little form called? Zuko: ...The Dancing Dragon.

Then comes post The Southern Raiders and...yeah, she's still picking on him and he still lets her. Granted it's a lot more playful this time around.

Zuko: They make me totally stiff and humorless. Katara: Actually, I think that actor's pretty spot on. Zuko: How could you say that? Actor Uncle: Let's forget about the Avatar and get massages. Actor Zuko: How could you say that?! (Cut back to Katara wearing a satisfied grin on her face and she looks to an expressionless Zuko as he slouches in his seat.)

I love pointing it out every time. She teases him and he does nothing about it.

Katara: Er, no. I was looking for cooking pots in the attic and I found this. Look at baby Zuko! Isn't he cute? Oh lighten up, I was just teasing.

And she admits it!

-

So what can we take away from this? From what little time they were given together (thanks, Bryke) it seems that Zuko and Katara really understand each other on an intimate emotional level. They can sense when the other is distressed and offer comfort. They're both passionate in and out of combat, for better or for worse. They're comfortable with each other as if they've known each other for years even though it's such a short time. Katara also likes to add a little bit of playfulness in there with Zuko letting her have her fun, again, showing how comfortable they are with each other.

I do think their relationship could have gone to romantic sooner than later if you would have given it a bit more time. Like first half of a hypothetical Book 4.

To me, at least.

[moonlightdreamzz]

empathetic — woozi

all you want, is for jihoon to care.

you always knew your boyfriend was more of an onion, and not a sunflower. what you mean by that, is that he had many layers to him, and he could not be pulled easily. if you wanted to peel the different pieces off of him, you had to work for it, but quite frankly you think you deserved a lot more than he had given you in the past couple of days.

you considered your body to be strong, but weak at the same time. you caught disease quite quickly such as colds, flu’s, and infections, but you also whooped its ass everytime. oddly enough, one of the things you looked forward to when you finally met your match was having someone to coo over your warm temperatures. a man who would surprise you with warm soups and extra blankets, who would also lay in bed with you no matter what was going on and give you kisses.

lee jihoon was not that man, which you knew, but you had no idea it would be this bad.

you were a mess - definitely not the prettiest sight you could conjure of yourself. you don’t remember the last time you saw your thick hair, which was never tamable on a good day, but especially for this past week had you just not been feeling any of your usual trials and tribulations of trying to figure out what to do with yourself. your bonnet had found itself halfway off your head from your tossing and turning through the night.

if you had the energy, you would crochet your hair. quick and easy timing, but also a cute look. jihoon also appreciated it on you, and you unfortunately lived to please him.

you weren’t dying at the moment, but you did have some concerning symptoms - a cough. so, symptom. of course your boyfriend did not bat an eye whatsoever for the past week as he scrambled through your home silently like the cute little mouse he was.

today is no different, but still your patience has completely ran thin. the penthouse you two shared was large enough so that whenever he wanted to hide from you, he could, and you knew that’s exactly what he was doing at this current moment.

when he finally walks into your shared bedroom ever so quietly, you can tell he was praying you were asleep.

“why are you hiding from me?” you question immediately. you don’t have much on, as you always got hot so easily. no shirt covered your body, just panties, but you and jihoon had been together so long that he was immune to your bare flesh. now that you think about it, you can’t remember the last time the two of you made any kind of love. luckily you didn’t need sex all the time in order to be satisfied, but jihoon wasn’t giving you anything at all.

“huh?” he responds quickly - proof you were right. you hated how cute he was, especially when he had what you referred to as his “morning puff”. he always had a chunky, sweet little face, but when he woke up from long nights in the studio, it was extra squishy and normally you would enjoy kissing all over his adorable face, but not today. you were upset.

“have you not heard me coughing for the past week?”

he turns to face you now. you’re sure he had a flashback to the many arguments where you begged him to look at you in your eyes. at least he cared about something you’ve said to him in the past.

“i have.” is all he says. that’s really all he has to say?

“and you haven’t done shit about it?”

“why are you cursing at me?”

“because I’m tired of the non-chalant attitude.”

he sighs out loud. that was his way of telling you he had better things to do. even so, he crawls on top of the bed and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“relax, baby.” he encourages. “what do you want? i’ll order your favorite.”

this is what you referred to as the attempt. a very poor one, but an attempt never the less.

would it be wrong of you to ask for something home made? would that make you selfish? all of the other girlfriends gagged about whenever any minor issues went on with them, how the boys would cater to their every need like they were the queen of the entire world or something. why didn’t jihoon treat you that way? was he too comfortable?

“y/n?” he speaks, knowing you completely ignored his question in exchange for what if’s.

“nevermind.” you mutter, laying back on your California king.

“don’t do that.” he sighs. he’s irritated with you for sure, but what do you care?

“do you even care?” you question. “like seriously?”

“if I didn’t care I wouldn’t be sitting in this house with you. and I just told you I would buy you whatever you want. i don’t know what more you want me to do.”

“i want you to act like my boyfriend of a million years. i want you to coddle me and give me kisses and offer to wash my hair.”

“in what world is anybody allowed to touch your hair?” he questions seriously as his eyebrows scrunch together in completely confusion and irritation.

“does it matter if I would say no?”

he chuckles, but not in a way where he thinks you’re cute. you’re only making the situation worse in his eyes. “do you want the food or not?”

“do you remember when we first started dating?” you stand up promptly, your thighs rubbing together as you get closer to him.

“y/n, why do you expect me to be the exact same way I was when I first met you?”

“why do people have this weird belief that once you start dating for a certain amount of years that love has to slow down?”

“so you’re saying I don’t love you?”

“i’m saying i have been clearly sick for the past week and all you’ve been is cooped up in your studio like a damn crack addict. what I’m saying is, we are in a relationship but you don’t even care to ask me am I okay. i’m not dating you to still feel like I’m alone!”

“you do realize the only person who pays bills in this nice little house is me right? how else can I do that if not ‘cooped up in my studio like a crack addict’” he quotes directly from you.

“do you realize that you’re the one who told me I didn’t have to pay a bill in this house?”

“whatever.”

he tries to walk away, but you know it’s only because he hates to argue, especially recently. it was something about it that really pained him.

“baby.” you lower your tone from all the unnecessary yelling. you touch his hand, but he snatches it away so hard that you flinch and fall to the ground. “baby...” you whisper faintly, hoping that he’ll care. for once in a long time will he just care. but he doesn’t. with his pajamas still on does he snatch his keys and walk straight out of your - well, his apartment. he slams the door too.

you honestly couldn’t recall how much time had passed since he departed from your home. usually when the two of you fought, you could easily find ways to distract yourself while also ignoring your mild heartbreak from his actions. but for some reason, this time, you couldn’t stop thinking this may have been the end.

that was usually the case when you felt like someone was falling out of love with you when you did absolutely nothing to deserve it.

you tried to listen to music. you tried to cook, but you sucked terribly at cooking Korean food and that’s all you had in your possession. you tried to sleep, but with everything running through your mind, that was impossible. so here you were, stuck with your thoughts.

you also still had the terribly annoying cough.

you didn’t have many friends here. the only people who checked on you were vernon, coups, and mingyu. you were expecting to get a call from one of them any second now.

like clock work, your phone is ringing. quite frankly you weren’t prepared to see Vernon’s name pop up on your phone simply because he was the one who called the least, but you didn’t mind. he always got you turnt whenever you were down, and even when you were fighting with woozi he didn’t suddenly treat you like you didn’t exist. he was always a neutral party.

“hello?” you say softly - your voice hoarse from the constant coughing you were doing.

“hey.” his voice speaks softly, “you alright?”

“yeah I’m fine, just not feeling my best. i have this annoying ass cough and it’s not going away and I’m also alone so, just fine.” you chuckle while burying yourself deeper into the bed if that was even possible.

“damn, you been smoking that good?”

“unlike you, I only smoke on special occasions vernon.”

“yeah whatever. how’s woozi? haven’t been able to get ahold of him.”

“he’s fine...I think. he’s been trying to hide from me but that’s been the norm lately if I’m being honest.”

“wait, you said you were alone.” vernon remembers, “we’ve been off all week where is your boyfriend?”

“you know...being himself.” you and vernon may have not spoke as much, but when you did talk to him, everything flowed out. every secret. it should be like this with woozi, but. “maybe it’s my fault.” you sigh, scratching your scalp from outside your bonnet, “i kind of...asked for a lot I guess.”

“like?”

“well, I’m not feeling well. i just felt upset because it seemed like he was purposely trying to avoid me so I wouldn’t have the chance to ask him to do anything for me. and the thing is, I wasn’t going to ask for anything but a lousy fucking hug - a cuddle. the bare minimum. i would have even taken a no but to be avoided? it hurt my feelings and we fought and—ugh. he stormed out the house and I have no idea where he is and I want to call him but truthfully what did I do wrong vernon? lately I’ve been feeling like I’m in a relationship with myself and I know we can be better than this. woozi used to be the sweetest little baby. he may have been hard to others, but he opened up for me. i feel shut out.”

you feel so much better getting all of that out, even though you know your boyfriend may have not appreciated the sentiment.

you know vernon listened to every single word and and would come back with some heartfelt advice.

“just give it time y/n. i can’t speak on jihoon like I am him, but if there’s one thing I know? it’s that you are the only person he truly loves that doesn’t share his bloodline. of course he loves us, but you - he opens up to you. he’s allowed you to see him. maybe there’s something going on. or maybe he just didn’t know what to do. just let him come back to you and see what happens.”

“thank you vernon. forreal.” you don’t know why his words affected you so much and made you feel such a heavy weight of guilt in the part where you held your boyfriend so deeply - your heart, but you did.

more hours had passed, and still no sign of woozi. you even tossed your pride away and called him, only to be sent straight to voicemail. you must have really irritated him, but you still didn’t feel sorry. you didn’t move your pride aside that much.

you did feel somber though, considering how much you loved him even through how he had been acting lately. and without him in your life, there was no reason for you to be here - in Korea. you didn’t want to end things. you just wanted to feel loved.

you still haven’t gotten out the bed except when you needed to pee. YouTube and funny clips had been keeping your company. maybe it was because of boredom, but things began to get darker and darker in your home. you were fading into a bitter sweet slumber. regardless, it’s what you needed. maybe your cough would subdue.

jihoon is quiet as a mouse as always when he walks inside, hands full of multiple things. all day had your words rang through his mind that was already full of so many things. had he really been making you feel so worthless? like you weren’t the most important person for his soul other than his family? actually, you were his family. there was never a day where he felt like he deserved you, but the minute the two of you kissed for the first time did he know that he would do whatever he had to, to keep you forever.

so when did he stop? he kind of knew he hadn’t been his best, but he didn’t know why. it was as if he was doing it on purpose, but not because of something you did. lately, it had just been so hard to keep up with everything in his life. all of the schedules seventeen had. and in between, as he was one of the frequent producers for the group, there were so many deadlines he had to meet he just felt so overwhelmed.

but he heard you coughing, and he was so worried. even so, he didn’t ask you what was wrong. why didn’t he ask you - his baby - what’s wrong? especially after it was day three and the cough was not improving? any other man who would practically rip his limbs off to be with you, would have been catering to your every need. they would have gave you all the kisses you needed, would have given you a full body massage, and offered to wash your hair even knowing that the answer was going to be no.

but he didn’t.

when he left, he was so angry. but not at you, at himself. vernon was the first person he called as he knew that while the two of you didn’t talk often, that he was the one who knew how to get your exact feelings. he hated how much of a wimp he sounded like when he had to bargain a song in exchange for vernon to call you. vernon declined and called you anyway.

to hear you on the phone, telling vernon that you felt as if you weren’t loved. feeling like you were in a relationship with yourself? that broke him. so, he called another one of his members who he knew would guide him into the right direction - mingyu.

“ill order everything, hyung. all you have to do is pick everything up. what you need to do right now, is practice your apology. oh, and pick up some cough medicine for her.”

so he did. his little body struggled to get everything inside, but he figured you would be asleep at this time. when you were bored, you had a tendency to doze off.

his instructions were to set everything up real nice on a table and serve it to you as if you were on a date, but woozi knew you better than that. he knew all you wanted to do was eat in bed and go right back to sleep. and talk.

he walks through the slim hallway that leads into your shared bedroom, and he was right. you were sleeping. the tv shined on your beautiful skin that he loved to place his cheek on whenever he felt any negative or positive emotion. he wasn’t sure what was on the tv. you probably weren’t either. you both loved to put on random movies and shows and talk about how much they sucked.

he approaches you gently - afraid that any little noise would startle you. he places everything on the fluffy sheets; the roses, your meal, your medicine, and the usb with the song he had been saving for you all lined up in orderly fashion. your bonnet is falling off your head as always, so he adjusts it. you had a pet peeve about that.

you were so beautiful. the most beautiful person he had ever met in his entire life. and you loved him. you - the brightest star in the galaxy and the sweetest soul chose him out of all of the people you had attempting to steal your heart. he couldn’t let another second go by without fixing this.

“baby.” he whispers. his thumb caresses your ear gently. he always wanted to be this guy. the hopeless romantic, always knew what to do guy, but girls never wanted him. he was always too short, too boring, all of the bad things. you never felt that way though. you always told him he was the perfect size for you. that he wasn’t boring, it was just that people never wanted to take the time to get to know him.

you moved slightly, but he knew he had just only scraped whatever dream you were currently in. he had to try a little harder to return you back to the world. his lips find themselves on your sweet face, just as you do to him every morning. little by little is he painting his love on you until you finally begin to stir.

“are you a murderer?” are the first words you speak.

you were always so hilarious, even without trying. he knew that was a genuine question no matter how funny the delivery was.

“no. i hope not.” he responds.

he can see you recognize his voice from the way you release the breathe he didn’t even know you were holding. woozi expected you to push him off you the minute you realized it was him, but you didn’t.

“hi baby.” you whisper, pulling him into you.

“hi baby.” he repeats, inhaling your sweet scent. it always made him feel like he was in heaven.

you pull back, cuffing his chubby face into his hands. if there was one thing about your fights with jihoon, it was that it wasn’t hard to make up. a simple look in each others eyes was enough to make up for everything. it was such a toxic trait, but it worked out.

“wait.” you breathe out as you notice everything behind your boyfriend. “ji...”

“it’s nothing, y/n.” he sighs, moving back so he can have a full view of you. “it’s what I should be giving you every fucking day. you are my queen. you are the only thing that is keeping me sane with this lifestyle.”

“everyday would drive even me crazy, ji.” you giggle, “you know that’s not what this is about. it’s just, I know how we used to be and I know how we are now. i don’t want us to get so comfortable with each other that we forget why we are together. you know that happened to my parents and I want to be with you forever.”

“i know.” all of sudden he feels it - the feeling he’s been feeling for the past couple of weeks whenever something bad happens. his whole body feels sick. he hasn’t told you about it because he thought it would go away, but it hasn’t. it seems as if this is going to be the worse one as it does involve the love of his life.

“hey.” you sit up, throwing one of his shirts that laid free on the bed. “what’s wrong babe? i’m here. i’m right here.”

you had never seen him like this before. you knew there was no such thing as a person who didn’t have internal issues, but this seemed like something that had been wanting to boil over for a while. you knew what severe anxiety looked like as you suffered from it. this was it.

“i don’t know, y/n.” he breathes out shakily. “this has been...happing lately.”

“why didn’t you tell me? hm?”

“i don’t know. i don’t know anything other than that I love you. and that I’m sorry.” he seems to be calming down from your touch. had he known this was all he needed, all the pain he suffered would have never taken place. he should have known though. you were his angel after all.

“we tell each other everything, baby.” you remind him as you begin to place gentle kisses onto his neck. “never forget that. there is nothing we can’t get through together.”

“i know.” is all he can say - your lips were too much of a distraction for him especially when he hasnt felt them in so long. he always craved you, but the two of you always took a lot of breaks. your relationship was much deeper than your love making no matter how addicted the two of you were to eachother.

you want to get right into it. you want to throw him on the bed, and ride every ounce of anxiety your boyfriend has right off, and then you want to eat your food, take your medicine, and drift into what you know will be the best sleep you’ve gotten in a while. but you two had to talk. everything needed to be squashed.

“ji, what can I do to fix this? i don’t like the way I’ve been feeling. and I know you don’t either.”

“you are perfect. you always have been. it’s me, but I promise I’ll do better. i’ll get everything under control.”

“you mean we will get everything under control. honestly baby, let’s not even use that terminology. we will learn to overcome this. anxiety is completely normal. you just can’t let it control you okay? and we have to communicate. don’t be afraid to show me any parts of you especially when you’ve seen my literal insides.” you joke, just to see his smile. he does, and it’s so bright. your foreheads lean into eachother immediately - natural just like your love.

“i love you.” he whispers.

“i love you.” you repeat. the two of you tried your best to not add too, to that sentence, as it meant in exchange for the other ones love and that’s not what was going on here. no matter what, the two of you loved each other. even if one stopped.

woozi goes back to buisness immediately, knowing you two were better now. his hands remove the covers that covered your body, and his tounge finds itself on your neck - his favorite place that’s not inside you.

“you feeling better?” he questions, still attacking you.

“i think this will distract me for a bit.” you giggle

“i’ll make it it all go away. you know I will.” are his final words before he lays on top of you, sliding his shirt off of your body with ease.

you were in for a long night. and the two of you still were in need of a conversation about what he was going through, but you knew what the both of you needed in this moment. you needed to feel each other again.

[dreamescapeswriting]

BTS Reaction | Cheating On Their Girlfriend With You [Request]

A/N: I get a lot of anon’s telling me that I condone cheating because I write about it, I in noway condone cheating, this again is fiction so please don’t come at me for writing about something people want to read. I don’t condone cheating cause I know how much of a bitch it is. No part 2 to this one guys as I don’t think it needs it. [BTS X Fem!Reader]

Also fun fact I’m trying to get back into writing the longer reactions I promise, it’s just hard when there isn’t much to go on. I do get a lot of messages asking why they aren’t as long anymore but sometimes its harder than usual when I don’t have a lot to go on with the reaction.

Seokjin:

The suitcases were left by the front door as you and Jin walked through the log cabin, he'd rented it out for the weekend away for you both. He'd told the boys that he was going away for inspiration but in reality, he'd been dying to take you out, somewhere you could go and be alone together where the paparazzi couldn't find you and you could be alone.

"This is perfect," You whispered looking at the fireplace in the middle of the cabin living room, he wrapped his arms around you from behind and hummed in agreement with you.

"I can't wait to be with you all weekend. Just the two of us." He whispered kissing your neck as you giggled at him pushing him away from you and looking around.

"Before we get to that I want something to eat." You laughed going over to the small kitchen to make you both something to eat, you were about to ask him what he wanted when his phone started ringing. The caller ID ripped a hole into your perfect weekend, his girlfriend's name appeared on the screen and you instantly felt guilt wash over you as you realised that you were playing happy families when he was with someone else.

"Hey, don't let her get to you." He whispered turning his phone over so it was faced down on the counter and you couldn't see it, his hands touched your arms but instead of the warm feeling you got from him. You got cold and you pulled away from him shaking your head,

"I've got a headache, I think I'm going to take a shower." You whispered to him trying to ignore the guilt pressing down on you. Jin and you had been dating in secret for months now but he was with someone else, he'd been with her for so long that he was finding it hard to break up with her. He promised you he would do it soon but it never seemed to be the right time to do,

"Let me join you-"

"No Jin, you cook us something to eat. I'm starving." You kissed his cheek trying to pretend that you were fine but it was hard to do that when you knew what you were doing to his girlfriend. She didn't deserve it, she was one of the kindest girls you'd ever met but Jin didn't love her, he wasn't in love with her anymore.

"Okay baby, I love you." You smiled softly at him and hummed back to him before taking your suitcase and going into the en-suite. You loved him more than words could ever describe but loving him when he was in a relationship was hard. You both knew what you were doing was wrong but it was hard to stop it when you both felt so strongly toward one another.

You stripped out of your clothes and stared at the small developing bump that was forming on your stomach, you were pregnant with his child and it was one of the reasons you wanted to get him up into the mountains. You could tell him here that you were pregnant and you'd have the whole weekend to come up with a way to tell his girlfriend or for him to dump you and leave you with the baby not that Jin would ever do that. He wasn't that kind of guy.

"Food's ready!" His voice called out, your hair was wrapped up in a towel and you were sat on the floor with your head in your hands. As soon as you'd gotten out of the water you began vomiting thanks to the morning sickness which hit you at every moment of the day.

"You alright? You look sick." He whispered coming over to you and holding his hand on your forehead, you shook it off of you trying to eat the food he'd made you. Since getting pregnant you'd done nothing but eat all of the time and you craved everything,

"Just hungry." You lied taking the plate and sitting down to eat it, he continued to stare at you and the longer he did the more he started to think something was wrong.

"Are you breaking up with me?" You choked on the food you were eating as the words flew from his mouth,

"B-break up with you? Jin I'm in love with you why would I break up with you?" He shrugged his shoulders, he didn't want to lose you. He'd been getting ready to break up with his girlfriend and it was the weekend he was finally going to tell you it was going to happen.

"Maybe you're getting sick of hiding but I promise after this weekend there will be no more secrets between us and her. I'll tell her everything and we won't have to hide anymore." You looked at him and nodded tearing up, it was all you ever wanted him to do. You didn't like the hiding and sneaking around behind her back, sure it was going to hurt her but it was better than continuing on for months, or years and having it hurt worse.

"No more secrets," He promised you and went to hug you but you pushed him away,

"There's something you need to know then..." You whispered putting down the knife and fork you were eating with and sighing.

"What is it?" You took his hand - which was resting on your arm- and placed it over your top on the small pump that was there.

"I'm pregnant..." You whispered to him and his eyes stared down at his hand on the t-shirt,

"Pregnant?" He stuttered out looking at you and then to his hand once again as he realised what you'd said, all of it processing into his head.

"You're carrying my baby?" You nodded as a giant smile formed on your face, you had no idea why you were so worried about telling him before, he'd always expressed his want for a family and now it was finally going to happen.

"A baby!" He yelled dropping down to his knees in front of you and cooing to the stomach.

Yoongi:

You could feel eyes on you the moment that you walked through the door of the dorms, you'd come to see Jungkook and Jimin since they'd done nothing but bug you for the last week about it.

"Y/n?" You looked at Yoongi who was sitting on the sofa watching you closely as you walked through the dorms, you stared over at him and the feelings came rushing back to you.

"I'm here for Jungkook and Jimin." You said quickly not wanting to seem like you were there for him. Things between you both had been awkward since you'd slept together at a party last week, it wouldn't normally be a big deal since you used to be friends with benefits but you'd stopped once he got a girlfriend who loved him and treated him great but there was one small problem with that. He didn't love her back.

"I didn't-"

"Y/n! Is that you?!" Jimin called out from the bedroom, you walked away from what would have been the most awkward conversation known to man if you'd stayed there and went into Jimin's bedroom. He was sitting there with Jungkook playing the guitar and smiling at you, he was one of your closest friends and the sole reason that you and Yoongi had met.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." Jungkook joked watching as you sat down on the desk chair in Jimin's room and smiled at them both. You were being unusually quiet for you and it made them nervous to see it.

"What's wrong?" You shook your head trying to snap out of it yourself and went into your bag pulling out the snacks and movies you'd brought along for the night.

"I can't stay over, I have to get up early for work." You told them as you put everything down onto the desk behind you,

"Yoongi is up early he'll take you in the car," Jimin said not seeing the big deal with it and to them, it wasn't a big deal. Just two friends getting a ride to work together except it wasn't just two friends, it was two lovers who were hopelessly in love with one another but couldn't do a single thing about it. Jungkook stared at you waiting for some kind of answer from you while you stared into space trying to come up with some excuse as to why you couldn't go with Yoongi but there was nothing.

"Sure." You whispered knowing you had spare clothes here to change into for the morning so that excuse was unavailable to use.

"Great, we'll go sit in the living room and use the big TV, Yoongi and his girlfriend had it all day." You tried to act as though you weren't bothered that his girlfriend had been there, it wasn't your place to get jealous over her.

"She's here?"

"Ugh, yeah. They've done nothing but fight over something all day just like last week, they did nothing but fight but Yoongi went out and came back the next time fine. We think he stayed at her place and they made up." Except it wasn't her that he'd gone it. It was you. He'd shown up on your doorstep crying about her and how he thought she was cheating so he wanted to get back at her. One thing led to another and he was sleeping with you all night, telling you how much he missed and loved you.

"She's in his room trying to cool off from the fight," Jungkook said with disgust laced behind his tone none of them liked her, they were a right fit together and everyone could see it.

"Movies!" You yelled looking at them as they stared at you, they knew something was going on inside of your head but they weren't sure what it was just yet.

(X)

"Wake up," You groaned hearing someone whisper in your ear,

"Five more minutes mum." You pushed whoever it was away from you but you heard the all-too-familiar laughter coming from Yoongi. Your eyes slowly opened to see him kneeling beside you, you were asleep on the sofa alone and you assumed everyone else had gone to bed.

"What Yoongi?" You groaned as he pushed you to sit up so he could sit on the sofa, you grunted out when he forced you to lay your head on his lap. It was how you used to cuddle together after sleeping with one another,

"You can't do this." You told him as you sat up and moved away from him,

"I can't do what?"

"Tell me how much you love me and then go back to her. You can't." You were going to end up just as hurt as she was if he kept doing this but he moved closer to you, kissing your lips, cheeks and down to your neck.

"I'm not with her, I'm with you." You whimpered as he kissed your sweet spot, you hated that he knew just how to get you whimpering for him.

"She's right next door," You whispered as he laid you down on the sofa so your back was against the leather,

"Then let her walk out here and see us, I don't care. I'm sick of hiding how much I love you." He kissed you passionately and you let go not caring if anyone walked out and saw you right now, let alone her. He kissed down your neck and pulled at the shirt you were wearing, the top buttons popped open and he stopped kissing you and held the necklace you were wearing in his hand.

"You kept this?" It was a necklace he'd gotten you with his initials on the back when you first started sleeping together,

"Yeah, I erm...I never take it off." You coughed out trying to make it seem like it wasn't a huge deal but it was to Yoongi, no one had ever expressed their love like that for him.

"Screw it," He whispered kissing you quickly before going into the bedroom his girlfriend was sleeping it, he was going to end it once and for all even if it was 5 am and everyone was asleep. He couldn't keep doing it anymore.

Hoseok:

You'd had a crush on Hoseok since you'd met him and you blamed your brother for it never developing into anything else. Jungkook decided that as your brother it was his place to tell all of the boys that you were off-limits even though you were an adult who could make up her own decisions and do what you wanted whenever you wanted.

"Hi Hobi," He looked at you as you came rushing down the stairs to greet him, you were dressed in a pair of shorts and one of Jungkook's old jumpers that looked huge on you. You looked adorable to him but he looked away and at the floor remembering that he had a girlfriend back home waiting for him.

"Hoseok's staying for the weekend, did you make up the guest room as mum asked?" You stared at your brother with a raised eyebrow,

"Do I look like a maid?" He nodded and you rolled your eyes going back towards the staircase,

"I can do it, it's no big deal," Hoseok said but you looked at Jungkook,

"You're the guest. Just take your stuff up while I order us food." You rushed up the staircase to get some fresh bedding out for the bed and towels for the en-suite.

Hoseok swallowed the lump that was in his throat as he watched you bend over the bed to tuck the fitted sheet into place, he was slowly watching the edge tear away and he rushed over pushing it back but in the process, it looked like he was bending you over the bed.

"Oh, shit. Sorry." He moved away and you giggled pushing hair behind your ear.

"It's okay, thanks though." You said as you pointed at the corner which was now back on the mattress, you turned around to face him and picked up the quilt cover and began putting it on the duvet.

"I could have done this," He offered but you shook your head,

"It's okay. Jungkook would have kicked off. You're the guest you're supposed to be the one relaxing." You bent back over the bed as you went to put the covers onto it and he let out a low grunt,

"How can I relax when you look like this?"

"What?" You said in unison, his eyes widened in fear as he realised he'd said that out loud and not in his head like he thought he had.

"D-Do you want me to change?" You questioned suddenly feeling insecure and thinking that he thought you looked bad, he got up from the chair he was sitting on and shook his head.

"No, I want you to wear my jumper, be in my arms and fuck I want to kiss you." You pinched your own arm thinking it was some kind of ultra-realistic dream or that you'd somehow fallen into the matrix.

"Kiss me." You whispered to him staring up into his eyes as he stared down into yours, he cupped your face and leant forward connecting your lips. As soon as you did you felt your heart pound against your chest trying to get out, he backed you up to the wardrobe and then pushed against the back of your legs for you to jump up into his arms.

"I've wanted this for so long," He whispered carrying you over to the bed and laying your back down against the mattress,

"Me too." You panted as he pulled away for a moment only to kiss you again until reality was brought crashing down above you.

"FOOD!" You broke apart and he realised where he was and who he was without another word he left the bedroom and you stared after him wondering what you'd done wrong.

(X)

Four in the morning and you were sitting on the sofa eating cold leftover pizza from the boys, you'd avoided Hoseok since the kiss happened not wanting to get in his way while he tried to pretend that it didn't happen.

"Where are you going?" You asked hearing the floorboard near the front door creek, you assumed it was your brother sneaking out but when you looked away from the TV you saw Hoseok.

"S-Sorry, I thought it was Kookie sneaking out for ice cream without me." You whispered looking away from him and going back to your TV show.

"You sneak out for ice cream with him?" You nodded and looked at him, he was holding his car keys but didn't have his bag with him so he was sneaking out to go somewhere.

"I was going to clear my head, want to go get ice cream instead?"

"I know this great McDonalds," You said without giving it a second thought and going out with him towards his car.

You were sitting in the car together after finishing your ice cream together and he turned to look at you,

"That kiss-"

"Was a mistake? You never want it to happen again and don't worry I won't tell Jungkook?" He started laughing and shook his head at you as you answered none of the questions he was even going to ask you.

"What?"

"Nothing, I was just going to ask you not to tell anyone until I get back and sort things out with my girlfriend." You head went back to Jungkook telling you about Hoseok's girlfriend, she was supposed to be one of the sweetest girls and you'd just made out with her boyfriend heavily on the guest bed and were now having ice cream with him at 4:30 in the morning.

"Oh." You looked down at the empty cardboard cup trying to think of something to say,

"I need to break things off with her, I can't keep dating her when I'm in love with someone else." He whispered to you tilting your chin up to look at him and smiling at you.

"Then all I have to do is deal with your brother and make sure he doesn't kill me before I get to take you out on a real date."

Namjoon:

Your hands were all over Yoongi as you laughed at something he was saying, Namjoon stared at you from across the room glaring heavily as you giggled at something.

"Cat got your tongue?" Jin teased looking at Namjoon who was now shaking his head and turning to look at his Hyung,

"Don't be stupid. I hate her." He grumbled folding his arms over his chest and pretending that he wasn't annoyed by you standing with Yoongi and acting like a couple.

"You don't hate her, you just have misplaced feelings." Namjoon was starting to regret giving Jin a psychology book for Christmas last year so he moved away from him. Namjoon had hated you since the day he'd met you,

"Mmm Baby we should go soon, I have a headache." Namjoon's girlfriend slurred at him but he didn't care about her right now, he was busy watching you throw yourself all over his friends while they pretended to love the attention. Anyone would have to pretend to like you there was no way anyone could tolerate you of all people.

"What's Namjoon's problem with me?" You asked Jungkook and Yoongi as you stood in the living room of the party, Jungkook looked over at his leader and shook his head. They all knew what his problem was but he wasn't going to say anything to you or to Namjoon himself - he valued his life and wasn't going to risk losing his head over mentioning it.

"He's just being rude," Yoongi lied looking at Jungkook with a knowing look. Everyone knew. It was pent up sexual frustration that he'd had for you since the day he met you, he knew he could never have you and the feelings he had for you developed into hatred and he'd convinced himself he hated you.

"Very rude, tell him to leave me alone and quit staring." You laughed going to make yourself another drink. You tried to push down the hurt you felt whenever Namjoon looked at you like that, he looked at you like he wanted to kill you and while it was hot it was scary and you hated it. You'd always had a crush on him but the more he stared at you like that the more you started to hate him.

(X)

"You're unbelievable." You heard him mumble as he walked past you trying to get to the kitchen,

"Excuse me?" You questioned finally having enough. The whole night it had been snide comments to you as he walked by you and you'd finally had enough of it.

"You heard me," He snarled at you and you shook your head at him,

"No, you see. I don't think I did. What's your problem?!" You snapped at him and that was it, he grabbed your wrist and pushed you against the tiled wall in the kitchen.

"You're my fucking problem, you know why?!" You whimpered trying to get out of his grasp but he pushed you harder against the wall until you felt what his problem was.

"You're my problem, fuck! You think you're so damn good, don't you! Walking around here in those skimpy little outfits, flirting with all of us when you know we can't have you." You smirked as you realised what his problem was the whole time and you knew it was your problem too, he wanted you just as much as you wanted him.

"Why aren't you have me?" Your voice was low and seductive as you ran your knee up the inside of his thigh being gentle not to hurt or catch him in the process. He let out a breathy groan and looked at you,

"You're playing with fire," You smiled and stood up on your tiptoes and kissed him,

"So let's get burnt." It was cheesy to say but you didn't care, he grabbed your face and kissed you roughly growling against your lips as he felt your hand starting to palm him through his jeans. Neither of you cared that you were in the middle of the kitchen making out,

"Finally," Jungkook said as he caught you both,

"Took them long enough, uh-oh-" Jin said as Namjoon's girlfriend walked into the kitchen to see what the big deal was,

"What the fuck-" Namjoon pulled away and looked at her, he didn't even care that he was making out with you two seconds before. He licked his lips and shook his head at her,

"What do you care? You do this all the time with your girl friends," He smirked at her, you stared at him as they began bickering back and forth with one another.

"Whatever, you're free to do what you want. I don't care anymore," He said cooly to her bending down to pick you up, you squealed as he carried you towards the staircase ignoring his now ex-girlfriends screams after him to stop.

Jimin:

Jimin pulled you through the empty house kissing you as he roughly pushed you against the front door. It was the first time you were ever going to get to spend time together in his own house instead of some silly motel or hotel room that neither of you liked.

"Fuck I've missed you." You whimpered as he ripped off your jacket and threw it down onto the floor, neither of you had to be careful today. You were alone for the week since his girlfriend had gone out of town to visit with friends and wouldn't be back.

"I missed you too." He grunted before picking you up and carrying you into the living room where he laid you down on the sofa, he was going to take advantage of everything he could. He'd promised he was going to fuck you on every surface he could and he meant it, he pulled off your skirt and smirked as he saw that you were bare underneath it,

"You're going to be the death of me." He whispered kissing you roughly again,

"I hope not." You whimpered as he began sucking harshly on the skin of your neck moving you so he could sit on the sofa, he sat you down on his lap and you giggled at him.

"Jimin please don't waste time." He tutted pulling away from you and smirking, he ran his hand over your cheek.

"We have all the time in the world, I can be as slow as I want." He told you as he thrust his hips up against yours so you could feel his hard-on through his jeans.

"I hate it when you tease." You whispered looking at him as he smirked at you, you grabbed his face and kissed him lovingly wanting to fade into the idea of this being romantic instead of wrong and deceitful.

(X)

The last four days had been nothing but magical, you'd locked all of the doors and windows, shut the curtains and turned off your phones just so you could be alone together without anyone trying to ruin your time together. You'd cook for him all the time, he made dinners while you made breakfast and lunch...If you could get out of bed in time for breakfast that was,

"I've loved this," You admitted running your hands over his bare chest, you were laying together that night staring at the ceiling. He hummed at you to continue what you were saying and you smiled,

"It feels real like we're really together," He knew what you meant and he knew that you were getting sad about having to stop this soon. His girlfriend would be bad and pretty soon you wouldn't be able to see him as much as you'd both like to.

"We are really together." He brought your hand up to his mouth and left a soft kiss on the top of your hand but you shook your head at him, it was going to get deep and it was a make or break situation.

"Why are we hiding it..."

"You know why," He whispered to you but you didn't, the whole time you'd been sneaking around with one another you had no idea why you were actually doing it.

"I don't." You sat up in the bed and took the covers with you to cover up your chest.

"Why don't you just leave her?" You whispered and he looked at you, he wanted to. He'd been planning on doing it but it was hard when they had a life like this together,

"We live together." You knew what that meant, it meant he wasn't going to leave her and you were going to end up being the one that was hurt in this situation,

"I should go-" The front door opened and both you and Jimin froze in place,

"She's back early." He whispered looking at you, you had tears in your eyes as you realised he was probably going to ask you to jump out of the window or something but he did something that totally surprised you, he handed you his shirt.

"I'll end it, right here right now." Your put on the t-shirt he was giving you and got ready for the fight of a lifetime that was going to happen.

(X)

There was a fight but it wasn't because of you, it was because of her. It turned out she'd been sleeping around for months as well, it started as a screaming match until they both realised that neither of them had been happy together and didn't want to be with the other.

"You alright?" You asked as he looked around the empty bedroom, she'd packed up everything of hers and left as soon as she could. None of you was ever going to be friends but at least you could say it was a mutual-ish breakup.

"I'm fine, I'm just wondering how we're going to fit any of your clothes into this one wardrobe." He groaned putting down the cup of coffee he was holding,

"You're asking me to move in?"

"I am." He smiled turning to you with winking,

"We've already made it our own, might as well move you in." He chuckled kissing you and laying you down against the floor.

Taehyung:

Namjoon introduced you to one of the staff as you walked up to them, he was trying to get you to stay with her while he went to give a speech for the new album. It was one of the album release parties that Bighit did for their idols and you'd been to almost all of them since the boys debuted and every year the guest list grew larger and you had more people to talk to.

"Where's your date?" She teased looking at you, you pointed over at the guy you'd brought along with you and her mouth fell open.

"I thought you were dating Taehyung." You started laughing softly at her until you realised she was serious,

"Me and Tae? We're just friends." She frowned thinking about all of the times she'd seen you together around the building a lot, everyone in the building thought that you were dating.

"Hi, baby, your drink." You smiled taking the drink away from your date's hand. You didn't want him to call you baby you wanted Taehyung to be the one to call you that, he was the only guy that could ever get away with it but he couldn't be seen with you right now. Taehyung and you flirted a lot but it would never go anywhere because he was in a relationship with someone else even if it was you he came to every night.

"No seriously, you're both so close and he talks about you all of the time." She laughed looking at your date up and down, sizing him up, she could already tell you didn't want him to stand that close to you and you felt uncomfortable with his arm wrapped around your waist.

"He has a girlfriend but it's not me." You managed to get through the sentence without gipping on the words, it wasn't that you hated his girlfriend...well you did but you weren't about to tell everybody that because then you would have to explain why you hated her.

Taehyung stared from across the room as Namjoon got up to give his speech, he knew he was supposed to be listening to his leader but his eyes were on you and the guy you were with. He'd never seen him before and you'd never mentioned him before either whenever you and the boys hung out. Jealously was bubbling up inside of him the longer he saw you with someone else that wasn't him, it was supposed to be only him that was allowed to touch you not some guy you barely knew.

"What's wrong with you?" His girlfriend asked as she laced her hands around him and kissed his neck softly, he wanted nothing more than to push her away and go over to you but he couldn't. Everyone was depending on him and the other idol to work out so that Bighit could use the publicity to promote more of their music.

"Just need some air, go and stand with Y/n and her boyfriend." She smiled and walked away from him, he watched her closely wanting to make sure you knew he'd sent her over there. You locked eyes from across the room and he nodded over at the door, you frowned but nodded back to him confirming that you'd follow him. You'd been friends for so long that you could practically read one another's mind.

"I'll be right back, can you look after him please?" She smiled at you, she was way too nice and it bugged you so much.

"Thanks." You handed her your drink and rushed over to the door that Taehyung had pointed at,

"Taehyung what's the-" You stopped talking when you came face to face with him, he pulled you down the hallway and towards some of the studios that were along the bottom floor.

"Tae, what's the big idea?" He pushed you into the room and slammed the door behind him, locking it and turning to look at you.

"What's wrong with you?" You questioned rubbing your wrist where he'd been holding you and he shook his head as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. He had no idea what he was doing he was just angry that you'd brought someone else along to this party. He wanted to do nothing but go over and punch the guy in the face for having his arm around you like that, for standing so close to you.

"Who is it? Why did he have his arm around you?" You stared at him as the questions left his mouth so fast it almost sounded as though he was trying to rap about something,

"He's my date? He had his arm around me because again...he's my date." He shook his head at you getting angrier every second, especially when you told him he was your date. As if what you and Taehyung were meant nothing to you.

"Do you like him?" You stayed silent and he instantly knew that meant that you didn't actually like him and he liked that, his heart began to beat faster as he realised he still had a chance.

"Why do you care? You have a girlfriend remember, we're supposed to just be friends." You didn't mean to come across so hostile towards him about her, but if he was allowed to see someone else. Have her touch him and kiss him all of the time what was the big deal with you having someone else instead.

"I care because I love you, and you know that so why did you bring him?" You stared at him and he shook his head at you as though this was your idea of a fun time. Pretending not to be in love with him while he acted like a happy couple with her.

"You chose to stay with her-"

"You know I have to for Bighit." You looked down at your hands, it was true. He had to fake being in love with her for the sake of his band members they all knew it was wrong but Bighit were the ones who called the shots around them and they couldn't defy them.

"I know...Maybe we should stop. I mean you have to learn to love her right?" He grabbed onto your hands and held them on his chest,

"Don't. We're not going to break up over this." He whispered looking at you as you finally let some tears roll down your face, you knew that it was his job and it was what he had to do but it didn't stop it from hurting any less.

"You're cheating on her with me Taehyung, don't you feel guilty?" He shook his head at you tearing up as he realised how much this was truly affecting you. You'd never talked about it before but now it was all coming out into the open,

"I'll call it off, I don't care. They can fire me, they can stop the production of the album I can't do it anymore." You sniffled as he put his forehead against yours, kissing away the tears whenever they rolled down your cheeks.

"You can't-"

"Watch me, if it means hurting you like this I can't keep doing it. I want everyone to know you're mine." He whispered kissing you passionately, he reached behind him for the door handle but you stopped him.

"If you go out and break her heart it'll make it worse for business, talk to your managers first." You wanted nothing more than for everyone to know who you loved but you knew it wouldn't be good if he just ripped out her heart and embarrassed her in front of everyone.

"Then we pretend for the night that we're not together, we do it business as usual until everything is okay." You told him as you checked your makeup in the small mirror in the room, he nodded at you and gave you another small kiss on the top of your head.

Jungkook:

Jungkook had made it clear to you that when you first started going behind his girlfriends back that he didn't care if she found out or not, he'd never loved her and he didn't plan on trying to but he couldn't break up with her. He'd never given you a reason as to why he couldn't just break off the relationship so you just went along with it. Allowing him to go behind her back and not care if she found out this way or not, your arms were linked together as you walked through the club together looking for Jimin. It was his birthday and just like Jimin he was going all out and throwing one of the biggest parties he could come up with,

"No Mina?" Jimin teased watching as you and Jungkook stood at the bar together, Jungkook's hand rested on your ass as you ordered a drink deciding it was going to take a strong one to get through the night full of teasing from the boys. They all knew that you and Jungkook were going behind Mina's back but it wasn't their place to do anything, they knew you and Jungkook had been trying to be together for years and if the time was right it was right.

"Mina's at home, she's sick." Jungkook threw back the scotch you'd ordered him and then lead you over to the dance floor swaying you back and forth while he ground against your ass.

"Isn't this a bad idea," You told him as you felt him getting hard behind you, you knew the risk as well as he did. Mina could walk in any minute and see you together, she was clueless though. She'd been in the same house as you when he fucked you before and hadn't noticed a thing. She was either clueless or really wanted to cling onto Jungkook and let him do whatever he wanted for the sake of ''love''.

"I don't care, I told you I want you not her." You sighed turning around, you wrapped your arms around his neck and continued dancing along with him,

"If that's true then just end things with her. I'm sick of sneaking-"

"We aren't sneaking, I think we're open about it," He whispered kissing down your neck and smirking as he felt your grip around his neck tighten ever so slightly. He knew how to play you like a violin and you hated it,

"Jungkook I'm serious." You told him as you went back to dancing together he knew you were but it didn't make what he had to do any easier. He had no real reason why he couldn't just break up with Mina, he'd hoped she'd catch you together one day and make his job easier but it wasn't happening any time soon.

"I promise, I'll deal with it." You sighed as he started to kiss you on the dance floor, his lips were your weakness and he knew that,

(X)

Weeks passed and nothing had been done about Mina though she seemed to be getting onto you both, she was always wanting to be around you whenever you and Jungkook planned to hang out. If she was busy she would magically cancel her plans to make sure nothing was going on behind her back which only made you feel more guilty for what you were doing to her. She was really sweet but you were in love with Jungkook and always had been, nothing was going to change that.

"I fucking knew it!" You flinched as you heard her scream, you were standing at the front door about to knock and walk in when you heard her and Jungkook fighting over what you assumed was you and him.

"I see the way you look at her! The way she's always drenched around you! You can fucking have one another!" His clothes were thrown from the bedroom window and she saw you at the door and scoffed.

"Fucking keep him! I hope he does what he did to me to you!" She screamed slamming the window so hard you thought it was going to shatter into pieces. Seconds later the front door opened and Jungkook was ushering you away from the house and over to his car,

"You told her?" He nodded and put you into the passenger side door promising you that he'd buy you new clothes and stuff when you got to a hotel, he just wanted you out of the way while she threw him out of the house and calmed down from her hissy fit.

 Tagline: 

@writingdreamsnottragedies @snowy-meowl @jooniesdarlingdimples @lyoongx @fan-ati--c @mitzwinchester @callingmyangel @rjsmochii @btsiguess-kpop @kneel-begyourpardon @taestannie​ @supresoo​

[mrsalwayswrite]

To Call Forth Love - Chapter 9

Yay! Next chapter! True confessions, this *sorta* slow burn is killing me....and i’m the one writing it! (sorry not sorry?)

Warnings: some swearing, nothing really, Hvitserk being a good bro?

Words:7100 (I hope these longer chapters make up for the wait)

Tag List: @youbloodymadgenius @evelynshelby @pomegranates-and-blood @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @heavenly1927 @zuxiezendler @punkrocknpearls @love-all-things-writing @southernbe​

Series Masterlist

The ringing of her phone had Kari dropping the leggings she was folding on her bed to quickly snatch it up. 

 "Albus!"

 The voice on the other end sighed. "You know I hate that nickname."

 Kari laughed, picking the leggings back up to fold. "But it fits you so perfectly."

 "I am not an old wizard."

 "I'll give you that, but you're studious, kind and too wise for someone your age. So close enough."

 "I suppose if I haven't been able to convince you to drop that nickname for the past ten years, I won't be able to now."

 "Nope." She cheerfully said. "So, how are you? Your mother still wreaking havoc in your life?"

 "She set me up on a date last week." He grumbled after a moment's hesitation. 

 In her mind, she could imagine him sitting at his desk with a slight furrow between his brows and lips pursed as he lamented his mother's involvement in his love life. This would not be the first time he complained to Kari about this topic. "Ohhhh? How did that go?" She asked, even if by his tone she could already guess his answer. 

 "I know my mother means well, but the women she thinks I should date…." He trailed off with a forlorn sigh. 

 "Not your type?"

 "No."

 "I'm sorry. You'll find someone and your mother won't be able to help but love them."

 He snorted inelegantly. "I won't hold my breath for that."

 "See, you're so wise." She teased, smiling as she folded a work shirt. "Now, what else is new since last month?"

 The two spent the next hour talking. It had become their tradition after she moved. Hearing the gentle cadence in his voice, his quiet chuckles, it sent a wave of nostalgia washing over her. He was the only person from England she still kept in communication with, the only one who knew where she was. The last string tying her to her prior life. Although she would not have labeled him her best friend, they were certainly close and even more so after she moved. In their monthly conversations, they would chat about anything new in their lives, TV shows watched, books read, his latest exams in university. He always made sure to inform her what he knew about her family. Something she was grateful for but it always felt like a knife to the heart after. 

 As they talked, she finished folding her laundry, a necessary evil in her opinion. Once done with that, she moved on to the package she received in the mail today. It was addressed to her but the sender was a designer name she would never be able to afford in her lifetime. She shook her head, wondering what surprise the youngest Lothbrok had bought for her. 

 Listening to him regale her with the latest family drama of his, she opened the package and had to muffle a gasp at the two dresses that lay inside. The first was an off-the-shoulder, black skater dress that would reach mid-thigh in length. It was a classy and elegant cocktail dress that reminded her of the dress she wore on her and Ivar's "date" but way more sophisticated and stylish. It was the second dress that made her pause and wonder where Ivar thought she would ever wear something like this. It was a deep red evening gown, the hem long enough to trail slightly on the ground. The dress was gorgeous with a tight bodice and slight flair of the skirt. It was the slit in the skirt that touched her upper thigh and the sheer middle of the bodice that made Kari raise her eyebrows. The gown was the perfect blend of chic and sexy. What was Ivar thinking? She would feel so self-conscious and she never went anywhere fancy enough to wear it. Though as she stared at both dresses, she decided it never hurt to admire them on the hanger, even if she never got the chance to wear them. As her friend continued speaking, she hung both dresses up in her closet, making a mental note to talk to Ivar. 

 "It's probably good your brother moved out last year." She commented, tucking her laundry basket away in her closet. 

 "Yeah. He only comes over to the house if he has to." He said with a resigned sigh. After a long moment of silence, he spoke up again. His voice hesitant, almost remorseful, as what had been obviously on the tip of his tongue finally came forth. "Your mother has been talking about trying to find you again."

 Kari froze, her mind shorting out and heart rate skyrocketing as his statement sunk in. "What…. what did she say?"

 "Not much that I overheard." He confessed, sympathy in each word. "How much she misses her only daughter and feels abandoned by you. She has been telling people that you're doing charity work in another country when they ask about you."

 "It's been almost two years… I hoped…" She slumped onto her bed, legs wobbling and mind whirling. 

 "That your mother would forget about you?"

 "I don't know. I just…. I don't know."

 Silence reigned for a moment before he spoke again. 

 "Are you ever coming home?"

 "I…. I don't think that's home anymore."

 "I miss you." He whispered. 

 Tears welled in her eyes. She took a deep breath forcing them back, but knew her shaky voice betrayed her. "I miss you too. Maybe you can come visit me here?"

 "That would blow your cover."

 "Could we meet up somewhere? You take a vacation or something?"

 "I'll consider it…." His voice trailed off, only to come back stronger. "You know, when you wanted help to leave England, I thought it was just a temporary reprieve. I didn't imagine you would stay away."

 It felt like a knife twisted in her gut, because he was right. She had never thought she would be gone this long. "I know…. I just…. I like my life here. I don't…. I don't want to go back to that."

 He sighed as if giving up on convincing her to return. "I understand. I'll always be here for you. I still think of you as one of my closest friends."

 "Same. We've known each other since we were thirteen. A few countries between us isn't going to stop that."

 He chuckled. "Right. Well, I'll still hold you to your promise. If we're both unmarried by thirty-five, we'll have a courthouse wedding to keep our families off our backs."

 "Sounds good." She laughed out, wiping the tears from her eyes. 

 "I have to go. I'll text you about when we can catch up next month."

 "Perfect. Stay safe, Albus."

 "You too, Abs."

 "Ugh! That nickname is worse than yours!" She groaned, hearing a small chuckle on the other end of the phone. "Bye!"

 After hanging up, she stared at her phone for a minute, the smile fading as her mind revisited the conversation. The weight of everything slammed into her, her body no longer able to support her under the strength of her duress. She crumpled onto her bed, curling into a fetal position, tears streaming down her cheeks. It hurt that England no longer felt like home to her, but neither did where she currently lived. What hurt and confused her most, was when she thought of being home- Ivar's face filled her mind's eye. 

 *****

 "Thank you everyone for coming to class today. I'll see you either tomorrow or next week." 

 With the lights still dim, Kari turned off the soothing water music over the speakers in the yoga studio room. The women who had been laying in corpse pose on their mats began to rise and gather up their personal items. A quiet murmur of voices replaced the music in the enclosed room. She waved at a few of the regulars as they left her class. Even if she was not the one doing all the poses, by the end of class she still felt refreshed and rejuvenated. It always brought her joy to see people come in, stressed or anxious, and leave her class with a smile on their faces or just looking less tense. 

 Through the mirrors along the wall at the front of the room, she could see the tall, statuesque blonde making her way over, yoga mat tucked under her arm. 

 "Hey, you doing anything for lunch?" Gyda asked, coming up beside her. Even in leggings and a tight tank top, she looked like someone off the covers of a women's magazine. All Kari could figure was it was in the Lothbrok blood. 

 "Um, working on inventory?"

 "How about instead you come out to lunch with us?" She motioned vaguely towards Torvi, who was gathering up her yoga mat. "We planned on stopping at that new boutique down the strip. So, we can just meet you for lunch when you're done."

 "Really?" The brunette was startled by the offer. Sure, she had gone out with Gyda a few times but never with Torvi too. The three would chat occasionally before or after class and she liked Torvi's no-nonsense attitude. They had flippantly made comments about the three of them going out but to actually hear they wanted her presence both surprised and warmed her heart. "Torvi is okay with this too?"

 Gyda rolled her eyes. "Yes. So…. Yes? No? Don't leave me in suspense."

 "Yeah, I'd love to."

 "Great. Text me when you're done and we'll meet up."

 "It'll be at least half an hour…." 

 Gyda waved her off, her voice growing louder. "That's fine. Torvi takes forever when she browses anyway."

 "Sorry, I like to think through my purchases before I buy something!"

 Kari smiled at Torvi's retort. The other blonde was checking her phone, a smile on her face though as she peered up at her sister-in-law and her yoga instructor. 

 "Are you joining us?" She called over. 

 "Of course, she is!" Gyda replied, before Kari could respond. "But she's only coming if you swear not to share any stories about you and Bjorn's kinky sex life. Nobody wants to hear that."

 Without a word, Torvi gave her the middle finger salute, before looking back down at her phone. 

 Gyda chuckled then turned to raise an eyebrow at the shorter woman. "Unless you're into that kind of stuff…."

 "Oh gods, Gyda! No!" Her face flushed at the thought. 

 "Hey, it's the quiet ones who are the kinkiest. I bet Ivar would like that." She laughed as Kari tried to swat at her. Taking a step back, she pretended to zip her lips. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me. Text me when you're done! We can meet at the café down the street. " 

 Kari waved at Torvi as the two blondes walked out of the studio room. Quickly, she hurried to finish tidying up. It had been a long time since she felt this excited to go out to eat with some female friends. A handful of times she had gone out with some coworkers or Lydia. In the beginning she was excited when Alana would invite her out with her friends to a club or bar but Kari quickly learned that was not her scene and began making every excuse possible to not be forced out with them. She always felt like an afterthought amongst the group, especially since getting drunk nor sleeping around was not her style. This time, she had high hopes for spending time with Gyda and Torvi. It would be nice to have female friends again. 

 The door to the studio room opened and Lydia popped her head in. "Almost done? You've got a visitor out here and he's causing quite the distraction." She said with a distinct shit-eating grin and wink before ducking back out. 

 "He?" Kari questioned out loud, although her mind suspected who it was. He was the only one who ever visited her. Slipping her phone into the pocket of her maroon leggings, she gave the room one final survey, wanting it to be ready for the next class before she left. With a nod, she headed out, the door swinging shut behind her. 

 In the large open area, she understood what Lydia meant by 'causing quite the distraction'. If she paused for a moment to drink the sight in, no one could possibly know, right? 

 Ivar leaned his shoulder against a wall, arms crossed over his chest with the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up to display his toned forearms. His dark locks were pulled back loosely in a man-bun, a few tendrils slipped free. Even in jeans, braces and smart-looking leather shoes, he looked quite handsome. With no cane in sight, it must be a good day. 

 Kari noticed more than one pair of eyes lingering on him from around the studio although he did not seem to notice as he stood there talking with Gyda and Torvi in hushed tones. The latter said something that immediately caused Ivar to narrow his eyes at her as he snapped a comment. 

 Even from across the room, Kari could read the tension in his frame and decided to intervene before he caused a scene. Walking over to them, aware of the many sets of eyes upon the group of three, she fixed a smile on her face. Once those intense, blue eyes locked onto her and his posture softened marginally, her smile transitioned into a genuine grin. "Hey, Ivar, what are you doing here?" She asked, coming to stand between him and Gyda. 

 "Do I need a reason to come see you?" He smirked down at her.

 That look released butterflies in her stomach but she ignored them to tease him back. "Usually that's how it works."

 "And if that reason is to fulfill my quota?"

 The blush that rose to her cheeks was so hot, she wondered if you could fry an egg on her face. Immediately, she dropped her chin to her chest, willing the warmth to vanish. 

 "Hmmm…. that blush for me, kattungen?" He shifted closer so his mouth was near her ear, his question asked in such a lecherous tone, Kari felt her core clench. 

 "Shut up." She mumbled, pushing him away. He rocked back on his heels, a smug grin on his face, and an amused chuckle leaving his lips. 

 Gyda patted Kari's shoulder, drawing the brunette's attention upward again. "Text me when you're done. We'll leave you with this grumpy asshole. I'm sure you can think of a way to cheer him up." She winked as she took a step away. 

 For a moment, Kari wished the ground would open up beneath her. Between Gyda's teasing comments and Ivar's blatant remarks and heated looks, Kari's face was going to be permanently red in an endless flush. 

 "Good luck on your trip, Ivar." Torvi called over her shoulder as she followed Gyda. 

 "Oi! Tell Bjorn to keep his big fucking mouth shut!" He yelled after the blondes; the tension returned with Torvi's parting statement. Glaring at the door the two women passed through, he muttered something in a foreign language as he rubbed his hand over his mouth. Briefly, his thoughts seemed to take him elsewhere but he quickly snapped back, blue eyes finding Kari once again. 

 It was only something she had realized lately, but when he looked at her, that consuming and burning gaze landing on her with all the impact of a sledgehammer, it made her feel like the only woman in the room. It was such a cliché thing, something stupid out of a romance novel, but it was the only way she could describe the feeling. When he looked at her like this, nothing else mattered in the room. She had his whole attention, all his focus. It was heady and powerful and terrifying and astounding. The weight of others watching made her skin itch but with his gaze locked on hers, lips tilted up slightly in the hint of a fond smile, she felt in the eye of a hurricane. 

 Her blue-green eyes dropped to his chest, unable to maintain eye contact when it left her feeling so flustered. Tugging on her earlobe, she quietly asked. "What are you doing here? I thought I wasn't seeing you until you picked me up for dinner tonight?"

 "Something came up." Silently, he reached over and grasped her hand, causing her head to jerk up. Intertwining their fingers, he watched her with regret in his eyes. "I have to fly out to Italy in two hours."

 "Oh. Is everything okay?" That was not what she had expected to hear. Her heart plummeted that their dinner would have to be canceled but tried not to let it show. 

 "Is there somewhere we can talk in private?"

 "Um, sure." Emotions flickering between curiosity and concern, she guided him back to the studio room. The weight of eyes lingered as they walked, especially since he refused to release her hand. A brief glance at the front counter, only to see Lydia and Sasha both staring at her with amused and proud smiles, had Kari trying to hurry out of sight with Ivar in tow. 

 Soon as the door shut behind them, hiding them from view, he pulled her against his body, one arm wrapping around her waist, trapping her against him while the other hand gripped the back of her neck. He kissed her passionately, like a man dying of thirst and only she could save him. 

 "Ivar…." She tried to pull away, aware she was at work and anyone could walk in. Instead, he held her tighter, molding her body to his. The drugging kiss that followed had her all but melting against him, knees weak and her resolve disappearing like smoke in the wind. When she opened her mouth, inviting his tongue to dance with hers, the growl that erupted from him was so thready and rough, it called to a primal part of her, making her warm all over and a tightness grow in her belly. 

 It had been two days since they had seen each other and she genuinely missed him. They had been texting during that time, but it was not the same. She missed his presence, his touch, his kisses, his grumpy comments and the way he made her laugh. Even when he annoyed or frustrated her, he still was the color in her otherwise monochromatic world. And with each day that passed, her desire to push him away fractured a little bit more. 

 When their mouths finally unlocked, both panting and lips swollen and red, she was almost shocked the nearby mirrors were not fogged up. Breathless and overwhelmed, she pressed her forehead to his, her arms around his neck. For a minute they stood there peacefully, only the sounds of their ragged breathing and the occasional noise from those outside of the studio room broke through their tranquility. 

 "What's going on, Ivar?"

 "Something with work." 

 "Does this have to do with why you've been so busy?"

 He sighed but when he spoke in a hushed tone, the rage painting each word was undeniable. "Someone on the inside has been selling information about us." She gasped, shocked but when she tried to pull away to look at him, he tugged her back against him, placing his chin on the top of her head. "I think I know who the fucker is."

 "That's why you're going to Italy?"

 "Hmmm."

 "Will you be safe?"

 That made him chuckle, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Are you worried about me?"

 She thought about making a joke, about teasing him about his recklessness. Instead the question knocked the air from her lungs momentarily, because the truth was, she was. What little she had gleaned about his work when he needed to vent, there was still an element of danger to it. She tipped her face up to look at him, her answer a quiet murmur that did nothing to hide the emotion behind her words. "Yes…. I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt."

 The amusement in his eyes drained to be replaced with a softness that made her heart clench. He inhaled sharply and glanced away for a moment. "Fuck, kitten…." When he turned back, he kissed her tenderly, a slow melding of their mouths like the taste of her was a fine wine he wanted to sip on endlessly. There was a promise in his action, just as much as his words when he finally whispered against her lips. "I'll be safe, just meeting with a contact. That's all."

 "Okay, just please be careful." Worry still tainted her, but she trusted Ivar to keep himself safe. He had been doing this job far longer than she had known him. 

 "Don't tell anyone about what I've said. No one else knows."

 "I promise. Not a word."

 "Good girl." He swatted her ass, making her squeak and glare up at him. "I'm going to have Hvitserk check up on you later."

 "That's not necessary." She tried to say. She would hate to be a waste of time for the older Lothbrok. The look he gave her said to not argue with him. "Fine," she dramatically sighed, "maybe him and I will watch movies and cuddle since you're soooo busy. I wonder if he'd think my bed is comfy enough or if the couch is better?"

 "Don't you fucking dare." He growled, gripping her waist in a possessive hold. 

 She just laughed at how easy he was to wind up. It was mean and she knew it. 

 He nipped at her bottom lip. "Keep playing, Kari and I'll have to punish you."

 "I have no idea what you're talking about." She batted her lashes at him, failing to suppress a childish giggle. 

 He rolled his eyes, the twitch of his lips betrayed his amusement. "I need to go." He softly said though he made no move to release her from his arms. 

 With that a wave of worry and fear cascaded over her, it was unfounded she knew, but it still threatened to drag her into its depths. Not giving it a second thought, she raised up on her toes to plant a lingering kiss on his lips. 

 "You're not helping." He muttered, never removing his mouth from hers. 

 "Maybe take the next flight?"

 "Don't tempt me, vixen. I'll lock that door and have my wicked way with you right fucking here until everyone hears you screaming my name."

 Between the image he painted in her mind and his mouth having moved to her pulse point, heated arousal pooled between her legs. She gulped, her mouth suddenly dry and words sticking to her throat.

 He leaned back, a devious smirk on his lips at her obviously flushed face. "No, my priestess," he purred, a filthy, predatory glint in his blue eyes, she could not help but gasp as her knees threatened to buckle under her. "When I finally have you, it'll be somewhere I can both worship you and fuck you all night long without fear of being interrupted."

 She let out a shaky breath. "But, um…. we…. ah."

 "Soon, Vakker, blir du min." He kissed her roughly, as if sealing his words. "I do need to leave. Walk with me." He took her hand, leading her out of the studio room, giving her no choice but to walk beside him. Not that her brain was fully able to make coherent decisions at the moment. 

 As they walked towards the front of the building, she wondered if their make-out session was obvious. Her lips felt red and swollen and a blush still colored her cheeks. A glance at Ivar showed his lips fuller but he appeared so calm and collected it was unfair. 

 "Did you like the dresses?" He asked, breaking her out of her thoughts. 

 "I do. They both are gorgeous, but they're too much. I don't have a reason to dress up that fancy."

 "With me, you will. I'll get you some casual dresses too."

 "Ivar…." She whined. 

 "You need more clothes, Kari."

 "Fine. Not because I want more clothes but because I know you'll buy them for me anyway."

 He winked at her, his tone smug. "I always get my way."

 "You're unbelievable."

 They stopped beside his SUV, parked next to the sidewalk. His driver was already in the driver's seat waiting. Kari made sure to wave at the man, earning a nod back from him. The driver was a huge guy with long, thick locks of white hair and a scar on his face. He intimidated Kari but she tried to ignore that and be friendly. Even if Ivar made fun of her for it. 

 "I should be back tomorrow unless some shit comes up." Ivar stated, opening the back door. 

 "Okay. Be safe."

 "Stop worrying. Shit. I'll be fine." He remarked, sliding into his seat. Before he closed the door, he met her gaze. "I'll text you."

 She smiled in acknowledgment and stepped back, giving him a quick wave as she headed back inside and his SUV started off.  

 Lydia leaned against the front counter with Sasha and Alicia now, all three watching her with expressions ranging from amused to shocked. 

 "Um, I'm going to…. go on my lunch break now." She mumbled and hurried away to grab her purse from the office, the sounds of laughter following her. 

 The stray thought crossed her mind that she would need some new bras if Ivar was set on buying her new clothes. Not that he would see those bras, but it would be good to have…. and maybe some matching panties.

 *****

 Summer was transitioning to fall, cool undertones intermixed with the residual warmth of a September evening. 

 Kari stared at the book in her lap but the words blurred together no matter how many times she reread the same line. She loved reading outside, sitting on the small patio behind the townhouse, especially when none of the neighbors were out. She could pretend it was her own place of solace, being out in nature. The sunlight shined through the line of pine trees separating their row of townhouses from the ones behind them, bird songs mixed with the sound of traffic from the nearby roads. She much preferred this too being stuck indoors. 

 Today though, her mind drifted like the breeze, but it all centered on a conversation she had not even ten minutes ago. If she listened closely, she could hear Alana through the screen door, making her dinner in the kitchen. She knew it was not Alana's fault, but the conversation still felt like a rug had been yanked from underneath the brunette. With everything going so well in her life, of course fate had to throw her a curveball. 

 Now her mind scrambled as what to do next. 

 A sound from her left had her glance over to see Erik stepping out of his back door. A boyish grin lit up his face when he saw her. 

 "Hi, Kari. Beautiful evening, isn't it?"

 "Yeah. It is." She gave a half-hearted smile, watching as he closed the door behind him and stepped closer. 

 "Mind if I join you?"

 She waved a hand at the patio set. "Not at all." Hopefully talking with Erik would be the distraction she needed for the moment, to pull her out of her quagmire of thoughts. 

 Dropping onto the cushioned chair to her left, he ran a hand through his dirty blond hair. In jeans and a t-shirt, he appeared ready to relax for the evening. 

 "What are you reading this time?" He asked curiously. This would not be the first time he had found her outside reading. 

 She reclined on the two-person, cushioned couch, legs up and bent with her open book resting against her thighs, wearing her typical leggings and slouchy shirt. At his question, she flashed him the cover. "The Princess Bride."

 "Isn't that a movie?"

 She pretended to gasp in horror. "Yes, but the book is still a classic."

 He raised his hands in surrender, grin spreading across his face. “If you say. Not really my taste. So how was your day?"

 "Nothing exciting. Yours?"

 "The usual. Customers thinking they could do my job better than me."

 She winced. "I know the feeling."

 They made small talk for some time, talking about work and a documentary he recommended for her to watch. They argued which was the better coffee shop nearby, something they continuously disagreed on. Soon the upsetting conversation with Alana drifted to the back of her mind. It did not take long for her to close her book and set it on the ground so she could be fully invested in the conversation, especially when Erik became so animated about a topic, his hands waving around like a conductor in his enthusiasm. It was an endearing trait of his, but also alerted her to settle in because it meant he would not need much encouragement to keep talking. 

 The opening of the sliding door behind Kari stunted their conversation.

 "Kari, someone is here for you." Alana said sweetly, stepping out onto the patio. 

 Unsure what she meant and since Kari never had visitors except for Ivar, she finally turned around. Only to be met with the view of Hvitserk leaning against the doorframe, a smirk on his lips. Standing there looking quite handsome in a dark navy business suit with a white undershirt, sans tie. Even his hair was nicely pleated back, making him look very professional and attractive. 

 "What are you doing here?" She asked in surprise, wondering if he just got off work. 

 Pushing off the doorframe, he meandered past Alana to approach Kari's side. "I came to check on you." He answered easily then scooped her up like she weighed nothing, making her squeal, and casually resettled them on the couch. Now he sat where she had been with her tucked against his side and his arm behind her. She also noticed how he purposefully put himself between her and Erik but chose not to comment on that. 

 "Ivar sent you, didn't he?" She grumbled, poking Hvitserk in the chest. "I told him it wasn't necessary."

 "Well, you know him." He shrugged, that teasing smirk still adorning his lips. When she tried to poke him again, he snatched her hand and held it hostage, even as she tried to tug it back. Ignoring her, he turned his attention to Erik. "Hey, man. I'm Hvitserk."

 "I'm Erik. I live next door." He responded warily, eyeing up the man as if debating to be friendly or not. 

 "Ah." With that understanding, Hvitserk seemed to give Erik a more assessing look before peering down at Kari. "You eat dinner yet?"

 "Sorta. I'm not too hungry."

 Alana spoke up from leaning against the other chair. "If you're hungry we can order something, Hvitserk. It's not a big deal."

 Kari's head whipped around to stare at her roommate in shock. Never had Alana played the hostess to Kari or anyone she knew. Then she really noticed the coquettish look of her roommate- the fluttering lashes, the sensual biting of her bottom lip in mock innocence, the way she casually leaned against the chair in a way to best highlight the curves of her body. Kari wanted to sigh. Of course, the only reason Alana pretended to care was to try and entice Hvitserk. An attractive man in their home, it was as if Alana could not help herself. 

 Apparently the flaxen-haired Lothbrok noticed her flirtatious manner also. He tipped his head, eyes blatantly tracing over her body with appreciation. Kari could see the blonde preening under Hvitserk's gaze. 

 "Did I fuck you?"

 What confident, amorous expression on Alana's face dropped in a second. "Excuse me?"

 Hvitserk waved a hand dismissively. "Sorry, you seem familiar but I can't remember…. Did you fuck one of my brothers?"

 Anger transformed her face, making her rigid and lip curled back in a snarl. "Fuck you, asshole." She shrieked, then stormed back inside, slamming the door shut. 

 He chuckled. "Huh. I take that as a yes…. ouch!"

 Kari slapped his chest. "That was extremely rude and insensitive."

 "Why? Because it's the truth?"

 "You can't just…. ask something like that." She turned to look at the closed door, wondering if she should go apologize to Alana and check on her. After a moment's debate, she turned away from the townhouse, figuring seeking out Alana would most likely end up with a door slammed in her face. 

 Hvitserk shrugged, pulling his phone out of his pocket and checking it before slipping it back in.  

 His nonchalance baffled Kari. Did he not care that he just humiliated her roommate? Should she make him apologize? Though she doubted he would. Finally, she settled for just muttering, "you Lothbroks are unbelievable."

 "Oh, are you related to…." Erik's question trailed off. Where he once had been relaxed back in the cushioned chair, now he sat tensely, one of his hands tapping his knee repeatedly. 

 "Ivar? Yeah, he's my brother." Hvitserk said with a knowing smirk. 

 "He's, um…"

 "A crazy, mad bastard? Yeah. Don't recommend getting on his bad side."

 "I was going to say intense."

 Hvitserk threw his head back as he laughed. Even Kari smiled at the hesitant way Erik answered. Intense was an understatement for the youngest Lothbrok. "Yeah, he's family." 

 Erik then motioned between Kari and Hvitserk. "So are you two…. just friends?"

 Before Kari could explain, Hvitserk jumped in to answer. 

 "Ivar and I share her."

 Immediately Kari choked on air due to his candid response. Her gaze darted to Erik in horror, seeing his jaw dropped and eyes wide as saucers. Beside her Hvitserk cackled like a hyena at both of their expressions. 

 "That's not…. ugh! No!" Kari tried to speak, once she could functionally breathe again, only to cover her face as her words tumbled out of her mouth inelegantly. 

 "Awww, come on, Kari. You know I'm teasing." The elder Lothbrok tugged her hands away from her face, which only caused her to bury her face in his shoulder. "We know Ivar doesn't share. But if you ever get tired of his cranky ass, I'll be more than willing to show you a good time."

 "Oh my god." She mumbled to herself, completely mortified. The evening had been going so well, and now…. all of this. Whose grave had she accidently stepped on today? 

 Erik awkwardly cleared his throat as he rose to his feet. "Um, I'm going to go."

 "I'm so sorry, Erik." She elbowed Hvitserk when he refused to release her hands, earning an 'oof' from him. Turning her body to give Erik her full attention, she continued, hoping this had not ruined their friendship or his night. "I know this is last minute but do you think you can give me a ride to work tomorrow? If you don't want to, that's fine, especially after all of this, I wouldn't blame you."

 "No, no. I mean, sure. It's not a problem. Just, ah, text me when you're ready."

 She smiled gratefully at him. "I will. Have a good night, Erik!"

 "You too, Kari." He gave her his signature boyish grin. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he looked at Hvitserk. "Nice meeting you."

 "Yeah, nice meeting you too." He said back, draping his arm once again behind Kari. 

 Erik gave Kari another brief smile before disappearing back inside his townhouse, the door sliding quietly shut behind him. 

 Hvitserk continued to stare where Erik disappeared for a long minute before muttering, "boy better watch himself."

 "What are you talking about?" She sighed out, feeling the lurking sensation of a stress headache coming on.  

 "He wants to fuck you. Ivar won't like that."

 "What is with…. No. I'm ignoring all of that." She pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. "Ugh, my evening was going so well until an hour ago."

 "What happened? That guy showed up to bother you? Want me to tell him to lay off?" His questions came out in rapid-fire, concern infused in his voice. 

 "No, Erik is fine. It's …. it's nothing like that."

 "So, what happened?"

 "Nothing important. Have you heard from Ivar?"

 He raised a brow at her dismissal but changed the subject. "Yeah, looks like he got what he needed so he'll be back tomorrow morning."

 "Oh good."

 "Hmmm…. which means he'll want to take you out tomorrow."

 "He bought me some dresses." She softly confessed, fiddling with her diamond stud earring. 

 "I'd recommend wearing one of those."

 She swatted at him, only to mirror the easy grin on his face. After a moment, she asked, "I just…. is it weird for him to do that?" 

 "What?"

 "Buy me stuff."

 "Does it bother you?"

 "I don't know."

 "If you want my advice, I'd say to let him." He lifted a finger to silence her protest. Her mouth snapped shut at his pointed look. Once he was sure she would not interrupt him, he spoke. "Ivar has never been good with…. verbally expressing affection, something I am sure he learned from our father. So he buys gifts, something he can touch and control. If he's buying you gifts, not out of obligation but because he wants to spoil you, then you mean a lot to him."

 She pondered his words and how she felt about them. Never did she want Ivar to feel taken advantage of by her, especially in regards to his money. She would rather tear her own heart out than make him feel used again. It grated slightly how freely he wasted money on her. The dresses were lovely, something she could only dream of having with her current salary. But she worked hard for her life, to be independent. Even whenever they went out to eat together, he never let her pay for her own meal. She had given up that fight already but this…. It felt different. Yet what Hvitserk said slunk back to the forefront of her mind. If this was his way of showing affection, of letting her know he cared about her, would it do more damage to refuse his gift?

 "How did you become so insightful into Ivar?" She teased, deciding to think about this more later. 

 He laughed, flicking her ear with the hand he still had behind her. "Out of necessity. I don't think anyone can fully understand him, not even himself."

 "He's complex." She agreed. 

 "That's a nice way of putting it." He tipped his head to the side to meet her gaze. "Now, tell me what happened earlier."

 "You're not going to let this go, are you?"

 "Ivar told me to check on you. If I left you trying to hide tears and he found out, he'd probably break my hands or legs, not sure how particular he would be."

 Biting her bottom lip, she debated blowing him off again. It was not his problem, she could deal with her own issues. But there was something about Hvitserk that made her feel comfortable around him. Even though he was under no obligation, he seemed to actually care about her. 

 Finally, she gave in with a sigh, laying her head against his shoulder. "Alana said…. Um, this townhouse belongs to her uncle. Him and his family moved into a bigger home and instead of selling this place decided to rent it out for a little extra cash. The rent is minimal, since he isn't renting to really make a profit. It's honestly the only way I've been able to afford being here. Well, Alana told me earlier that he is having to increase our rent. She didn't really tell me why but now it's going to be an extra 300 a month…. and I don't have that. So unless I want to find somewhere new to live, it kind of looks like I need to get a second job."

 He waited a moment before flatly stating, "have Ivar pay the extra. Fuck, he'd probably pay your whole rent if you asked him too."

 "No! I don't want that!" She sat up so fast, it was a miracle she did not fall off the couch. Her eyes turned to the brother beside her, wide and pleading. "Please don't tell him, Hvitty! I don't want him thinking I'm using him for his money. I…. I need to do this on my own somehow. I'll figure it out, honestly. I just wasn't expecting this to happen, that's all."

 "You really don't care about our money, do you?"

 "No." It broke her heart a little at the shock in his questioning tone. Did any of them ever expect someone to care about them without the influence of their money? 

 He stared off into the distance before looking back at her with a solemn expression. "I'll make you a deal. I won't say anything to Ivar about this, but if you are struggling, even if it's just one month's payment, you come to me and I'll help until you get your head above water again, got it?"

 "Why would you want to help me?" She quietly asked, meeting his gaze. 

 He smirked. "I like you. You're genuine. Plus, you're also great for Ivar. I'd like you to stick around and if this is one way to help with that, it's an easy solution." He narrowed his eyes at her as she started to protest again. "Don't fight me on this."

 "You Lothbroks are unbelievable. Fine." She laid her head back on his shoulder. "Thank you, Hvitserk…. and thanks for coming to check on me."

 "Anytime. You've got my number. Just cause you're Ivar's woman doesn't mean we can't be friends. But my offer still stands, if you get sick of him, I'll be the first to snatch you up."

 She laughed, heart feeling lighter than it had all afternoon. "Stop. I'm not Ivar's woman."

 "You keep telling yourself that."

 They sat quietly for a few minutes, watching the sky change colors. 

 "Mmmm…."

 "What?" She looked up at him. 

 He peeked down at her with a shit-eating grin. "I still can't remember if I fucked your roommate or not."

 "Gods, Hvitserk!"

 *****

 Before she fell asleep that night, she checked her phone one last time. A jolt of elation shot through her when she saw an unread text from Ivar. Her fingers fumbled with how quickly she tried to unlock her phone to read the text. 

 Ivar: good nite, kitten. C u 2morrow.

 A silly smile on her face, she replied. 

 Kari: sweet dreams, Ivar.

 After that, she plugged in her phone and curled up under her covers. Relief and excitement bled into her veins, allowing her to drift off to sleep with thoughts of the dark-haired Lothbrok coming home to her.

[anastasiyaigorevnadobrodevskaya]

Midnight struggles - Vitaliy Yuryevich Kravtsov

Look at that Russian babe. Total sweetheart. 

A/N: I haven’t forgotten I just didn’t have it in me to finish this, but here I am again. @nhlandotherimagines​

“Listen... we have very thin walls and I heard you crying in the shower everyday this week; are you okay?”  - from this list

Word count: 2850

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You would think that after dealing with insomnia for a couple of years, you would get used to it or at least find a way to make it better, but some nights there is nothing you can really do. You just have to try and tire the body even more and hope that the stars have aligned in the meantime and it will help you sleep.

Tonight was precisely one of those nights. I felt it was not going to be fun when I was getting ready for bed, not feeling tired and all. So here I am lying in my bed rethinking all of my life decisions and wondering how hard would I have to hit my head on the wall if I wanted to knock myself out the good old way.

I throw the covers off of me and sit up. The rather chilly air wraps its arms around my figure and I shiver. I reach for my robe and slip it on. I grab a pair of fuzzy socks from a drawer and put them on as well.

I make my way to the kitchen and grab a glass of water. Sipping on my drink I walk over to the windows in the living room of my apartment. The view never ceases to amaze me. It surprises me every single time I take a look. The entirety of New York drowning in the darkness, but lights in the windows and the lamp posts serving as emergency boats. If I can’t look at the stars at least I can look at a different kind of lights.

I keep staring out of the window until a sound from the next apartment reaches my ears. It’s running water, my neighbor’s bathroom is behind the wall of my living room for some reason and lately he has been taking rather late showers. Not that I have been spying on him or anything, but as I said, sometimes I just can’t sleep and when I can’t sleep I look around and listen. However, the water droplets falling is not the only sound I can hear.

Soft sobs accompany it and it makes me sad. What a terrible thing has to happen to someone to make them cry in the middle of the night in their shower? I would prefer some kind of singing much more even if it was worse than mine, which let’s face it, is not really that hard to beat.

I sit in the loveseat and stare at the wall facing me. The wall, which fails to muffle the sobs of the boy next-door. My neighbor, a hot-shot the Ranges drafted two years ago, is sort of a friend of mine. Well, more like an acquaintance.

Well, I know that he is Russian and I know for a fact that my Russian sucks and so do my social skills. Hence why we haven’t spoken much. I mean, we have made some small talk here and there, but I wouldn’t call us the best friends. However, Vitaliy has been crying for the past week or so and I am starting to get worried, but then again I have no clue how I could help him with his struggles.

I keep thinking and coming up with various plans on what I could do to make his day a little better. Maybe it is time to finally turn this relationship into a friendship of some sort. I should at least give it a shot and see how it goes, right?

I don’t remember how, but I fall asleep in the loveseat in a rather awkward position.

***

My neck hurts like hell, the bags under my eyes are bigger than a goaltender’s gear bag and I could count on one hand how many hours I have slept this time. A heavy sigh escapes my lips. I throw some clothes on, brush my hair and cover up the disaster another sleepless night has left on my face. I almost lose an eye applying the mascara, but I make it without becoming a pirate.

I throw my backpack over my shoulder and grab a sandwich while trying to put on some shoes. I lock the door and walk over to the elevator and so does my hot neighbor. Have I mentioned how attractive he is? I haven’t. Well, I am telling you now. He is smoking and extremely cute.

We get in with an exchange of a “good morning”. I watch him from the corner of my eye. He doesn’t look like has some heavy stuff going on at all. If anything out of the two of us I look like the one, who has cried in the shower. Had I not heard him, I would have never guessed it. I couldn’t be imagining it, because it has happened more than once already.

“How’s it going? “ I go for a small talk once again adding a polite, but nevertheless genuine smile.

“I had better days, what about you? “ If it wasn’t for the weight behind his words I would have smiled at the way his accent colored them.

“Yeah, couldn’t be truer.” I smile sadly.

“Is everything alright? “ He asks with curiosity written all over his cute face, tilting his head to side. Shouldn’t I be the one asking that question?

“Yeah, I just- I have had trouble sleeping again. “ I shrug and his face falls.

“Sorry about that. “

“Is alright. I am used to it already. “I don’t like the turn this conversation has taken. Luckily the elevator finally hits the lobby and spares me from continuing. He looks like he wants to add something, but I flee the second the door opens.

“Hope your day gets better, whatever it is that is troubling you. “ I say over my shoulder and disappear in the busy streets.

“You too. “ I barely catch it, but I am glad that I do.

***

During work I made my mind. I need to pay him a visit. I mean, I can’t possibly let him go on like this, I have to at least try. Before I head home I make a quick stop at the groceries and get a bar of dark chocolate.

At home I take a shower and put on some comfy, but also somehow decent clothes. I would make a cake or something, but I can’t bake to save my life and I sure as hell am not going to try and poison my neighbor I am actually trying to help. The chocolate serves as a replacement of some sort so I don’t show up completely empty-handed.

I walk over to the door and with a shaking hand I knock. Well, here goes nothing. Except there comes no response. I frown a little and try to calm my racing heart. I knock again, but nothing happens. I sigh and turn to leave.

“Looking for me? “Behind me stands the man in question.

“Yes, actually. Yeah. “I manage to get out. Wow. Great. Amazing. Put it together girl.

“How can I help you? “ He asks as he steps around me to unlock the door.

“I-“I have actually not thought over what exactly I am going to say so this is a little awkward. Instead of an answer I stare at him. He opens the door and walks inside. Looking at me expectantly he motions with his hand for me to come in and I do.

“Listen...” I start as the door closes behind me. “We have very thin walls and I heard you crying in the shower every day this week.” I fidget with the chocolate in my hands focusing on the chaotic movement of my fingers instead of his face. “Are you okay?”  I look up at him and search his eyes for I don’t even know what.

He studies me for a moment, not saying anything. Clearly, he is caught off guard and I get him.

“Actually I brought you this. “ I hand him the chocolate awkwardly. “I- I know we don’t know each other so well, but I thought it might make you feel better. “ I said. “It is dark chocolate so it shouldn’t be that bad for your diet. “ I try to lessen the tension in the air.

He takes the chocolate hesitantly with a smile tugging at the corner of his pretty lips. “Do you want coffee?” he asks and I nod happily.

***

Sitting on his couch a couple of tens of minutes later with a steaming coffee in hands we talk about anything, but the elephant in the room. However, he is the one to bring it up.

“You know, since you heard me, you obviously weren’t sleeping. Is your trouble sleeping really that bad? “He looks at me, curiosity written all over the pretty face of his.

I rub my sweaty palms over my sweats covered thighs. “Well, it has been bad the past week.” I give him a polite smile, that doesn’t reach my eyes.

“The last week sucks for both of us then. “ He says with a little chuckle.

“Yeah, it has been tough. “ Silence settles between us after my words.

“Things have been really, ugh...“ He trails off, struggling to find the right words. I just listen, patiently waiting for him to finish his sentence and get if off of his chest. “Hard. Lot of stuff goes on now. “He explains and I nod. “I just- There is a lot of ugh- Lot of pressure from everyone.“

Hesitantly I reach out and grab his forearm gently. “That is okay. We all have a lot on our plates sometimes.” I smile and he sighs looking at my hand. “And it is okay to let it out.” I squeeze his hand. “Sometimes guys need to cry.”

“I guess. “

“Listen, next time you feel like that you can come over and we can talk if you want to. I mean, I probably won’t be sleeping anyway. “I laugh and he chuckles. “We don’t have to talk about it, just if you need some company I am right here. Like, literally, I live next door. “Now he is full on laughing and shaking his head. I let go of his hand as my heart hammers in my chest at the sound.

“Thank you. “ He gives me a soft smile, which makes me weak.

***

Lying on my bed with my head hanging off of the edge I stare at the dark wall once again. I am very close to hitting my head on some hard surface if the sleep doesn’t consume me very soon. I sight dramatically and flip over settling on my stomach. Folding my palms under my chin I start counting sheep. Again.

When I get to fifty a knock on the door makes me stop my ridiculous antics. Normally I wouldn’t even hear it but it is so quiet here. The almost deafening silence is nothing I am not used to, though. Furrowing my brows I prop myself on my elbows. I grab my phone in case it is not Vitaliy standing behind the door and without rush move towards the hall. I check the peephole, relief washing over me at the sight of his messy hair. He came.

“Hi. “ I almost whisper moving behind the door so he can come in.

“Hi, you said I could-“He starts, but I interrupt him.

“Yeah, and I meant it. I wasn’t sleeping, don’t worry. “I assure him walking further into the barely lit apartment after locking the door. I turn on the lights in the kitchen and set my phone on the counter. He follows me quietly, his feet padding softly on the wooden floor.

“You want some water or something else to drink? “ I question him, reaching for a glass already.

“Water is fine, thanks. “ He says quietly. His voice is near the breaking point and I don’t like that. He stands on the other side of the counter as his hands find purchase on the marble surface.

“Do you want to talk about it? “ Placing the glass in front of him I try to catch his gaze. I fail and frown.

“Not really. “ He shakes his head. Looking at the liquid he toys with the glass. “How was your day? “ He looks up and takes a sip.

I chuckle. “Well, it was stressful.” I say leaning on my elbows. “A colleague is going through a break up and it seems like he has forgotten that he in fact is at work and he keeps ranting about how he misses her and how she was perfect and if he really deserves it all.” I explain waving my hands around. “But today I really got fed up with his antics and asked if I really deserve listening to his shit.” That sentence earns me a chuckle slipping past his pink lips.

“No, I was like. Seriously man? Do you know how many hours did I sleep last night? And he goes no.” I do my best to imitate my colleague’s mumbling and get yet another laugh in return. “So I told him. I slept 4 hours Johnny. Four. Did you know that four hours is way too little to sleep and way too much to talk about your ex?” I can’t help, but laugh at it again.

Vitaliy bursts into a heartfelt laugh throwing his head back in the process. I smile in victory, a happy gleam appearing in my tired eyes.

“I get that he is heartbroken and all that, but man it really wasn’t the day to let him cry over her again.” I shake my head chuckling slightly. As our laughter slowly dies so does his smile and a frown appears on his features.

I walk around the counter and take his hand. “Come.” I tug him towards the floor to ceiling windows. “Look.” I say and push him in front of me. The view of midnight New York unravels right in front of his very blue eyes. As he takes it in his lips part slightly and breath gets caught in his lungs. I watch him with a smile. He looks so astonished, like he hasn’t ever seen it before. “For someone who lives in New York you seem kinda surprised.” I joke, my eyes never leaving him.

“I don’t stare the window usually.” He says barely breathing. He is so cute. Like a child seeing the world for the first time. I keep getting lost in the way he looks and in my thoughts until he speaks again. “I am not child.” He is looking at me directly now and my brain short-circuits.

“What?” I ask genuinely confused.

“You said I was like child.” The lights flash in his irises as he takes a step forward.

“Did I?” My heartrate picks up and I find it harder to breath with every second passing.

“Yes.” After a short while he says. “You said I was cute so it okay.” He chuckles. “You are cuter, though.” He flashes me one of those toothy grins of his.

The way his lips curl up in a smile, the way his laugh makes my head spin, the way he is looking at me. The way his accent makes his words sound somehow more poetic or more sincere. How can I like so much someone I don’t really know? It is all too much. He is too much. Too perfect.

“I like you.” I blurt out before I can really think about it. My eyes go wide and I think I have just lost my pulse. He merely grins and comes even closer. His hands reach for mine, the touch electrifying. His thumbs rub gentle circles on the back of my hands.

“I like you too.” He says quietly looking in my very eyes. “For some time actually.” He chuckles.

“Re-really?” Is all I can come up with and manage to say. I am actually pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t complete gibberish, considering the state of my mind right now. I am so out of it I am not even embarrassed for my awkwardness.

He nods smiling. One of his hands rests on my cheek, the fingers of the other one intertwining with mine. He leans in, his thumb brushing my cheek softly. The hot air he exhales gently strokes my reddening cheeks and his messy curls tickle the skin of my forehead. At the mere thought of a kiss my eyes flutter shut.

Just a few seconds later I get to feel the soft touch of his lips on mine. With my free hand I reach for his forearm and my small fingers wrap around his wrist delicately. He takes it as a good sign stepping even closer as our chests collide. His hand squeezes mine as he pulls away slowly. Savouring the moment as long as he can he pulls my bottom lip in the process.

“Good thing I couldn’t sleep.” I whisper with a smile.

“Good thing I cried.”

[thisisthestoryofanotherus]

Hey, so can you write something like person at Starbucks collides with calum, coffee all over her... Meet again a week later at same place, both hungry, so calum offered lunch, forgot to exchange numbers... Both want to get to know each other more but don't have contact... Just add your flavours after this please. This is like a dream I had a long time back and I really wanna know what happens in the end lmao. It's kinda cringe but I really hope you will work your magic and make it better <3

For me the cringier the better haha. This idea was actually great!…and gosh I’m so jealous of your dreams shoot mine are just confusing af and very Calum-less haha Thank you so much!! Hope you like it!!! Idk about magic but you made me very inspired!

Requests for drabbles, mtls, reactions, and fake texts are OPEN!! Please send in requests!

  Fuck. You could not believe your boss. I mean sure you were his assistant but to send you on petty errands like coffee…fucking coffee, when the office was in a rush trying to complete all these orders. But no… you totally had time to go pick up his fucking americano despite the fact you had a million other things to do that actually related to him being productive rather than some caffeine intake. But here you were at the infamous Starbucks, packed as usual from the looks of the long line you could see from the window. You felt your pocket buzz as you approached the door. Reaching for the door handle you read the words “Y/n can you also get me one of those sandwiches?” from your boss when you felt the impact of someone colliding with you and the sensation of cold liquid running down your blouse. You screamed in surprise, looking down to see the iced coffee staining your blouse a caramel color. Your muttered quite the string of expletives and was ready to curse at whoever had the AUDACITY when your eyes met the most apologetic brown puppy eyes and all your anger faded away…

Tell me you wanna come over… wanna be closer…wait no that doesn’t sound right. Calum had been working on these lyrics for what felt like ages. The tune always came easiest to him, but lyrics was something he was always very particular about because it had to capture everything perfectly. He kept running what lyrics he did have for the chorus through his mind, trying to get them just right, as he walked out of Starbucks with his coffee in hand. Tell me tell me tell me you wanna come over…I wanna be closer… or no you’re telling me you’re telling me you wanna come over, you wanna be wanna be wanna be closer. Do-duh-do do-duh-do do-duh-do closer… shoulder rhymes… duh-da-duh hair over your shoulder… hold ya…duh-da-duhsshhhhiiittttt

He did not realize someone was on the other side of the door, so he was surprised to suddenly feel someone colliding with his chest and the crush of plastic in his hand. He noticed his caramel macchiato all over her blouse, looking up to her face he found her quite cute despite the frustration across her features. Before he could apologize, because he truly did feel sorry, suddenly all the frustrations were vocalized. Several curse words later she looked up at him, he prepared himself for your obvious rage to be directed at him, cursing himself for not paying attention since this girl clearly has been through enough today. Meeting her gaze, he watched as her features softened. He took this as his chance to finally apologize.

“I-I’m sorry…I didn’t see you-I wasn’t really paying attention-”

“No…it’s-it’s fine don’t worry about it” she said, cutting him off. “I just-ugh… it’s just the kind of day I’m having you know?”

“And I just made it worse…look let me get you some napkins and I’ll get your coffee. It’s on me…really the least I can do” He said as he walked back into the café, already grabbing napkins and handing them to her. “What is it you’re getting?”

She wiped the coffee stain as she recited her orders to Calum, running to the bathroom to get whatever else she could out as he placed her order. By the time she returned, he was already handing her the carrier of the various assortment of drinks.

“Thank you… you really didn’t have to do that I was on a coffee run for some coworkers” she said, blouse in better shape and a soft smile on her face.

“It’s really the least I can do. Can’t have a pretty girl like you having a completely shit day” Gosh that was cringy…he regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth…what was he thinking?!

She laughed in response as she pulled her phone out of her pocket.

“Hello? WHAT? NOW!? Ya-no I’ll be right there” Panic filled her features as she glanced back at him.

“I’m so sorry-I gotta go… work is-yeah…maybe I can...um maybe we-uh um bye” She muttered as she practically ran out the door, leaving Calum wondering what on earth just happened.

You left the poor guy, the poor oh so attractive guy, as a stuttering mess. The right words refused to leave you mouth. You wanted to say SOMETHING that would allow you to see him again, but you were distracted by the incessant vibrating in your pocket and the thoughts of the chaos unfolding at your job. By the time you finally got out of work (two hours late, honestly how surprising) you couldn’t help but walk past that very same Starbucks hoping to spot the stranger who’s name you never did get, much less his number. Sure enough you couldn’t see the beautiful man through the windows…just employees wiping down tables ready to end their own shifts. When you got home, slipping on your pjs, you almost stopped yourself from spraying stain remover on your white blouse. Staring at the remnants of the coffee stain, you wanted some proof that today actually happened (even if you did nothing but completely embarrass yourself). After several moments, you finally pretreated your poor blouse and started the washer. The memory being washed away along with whatever minuscule chance you had with the beautiful stranger.

That did not stop you from trying though, oh no. You walked past Starbucks every morning on your way to work, and every afternoon after. Along with whenever you could sneak away during your lunch break, you weren’t stalking him, although you couldn’t help if this may be borderline stalking even though he never came.  After several days passed though, you wondered what on earth you would say to him if you had the luck to actually run into him again. Fate was not on your side however, since each time the man was no where to be seen. He probably didn’t remember you anyway.

Today. If he is not here today then this will be the end of it. It’s been nearly a week if I don’t see him now then I never will. You thought, making your way to the Starbucks entrance once again. Today you actually got the afternoon off now that work had slowed down. Your boss thought “you deserved it for you hard work”, as if you hadn’t put in dozens of hours of overtime. After a quick glance around the café, he was once again nowhere to be seen. Surprise, surprise. You gave your order to the barista at the counter and sat down at one of the nearby tables. You pulled out your phone to pass the time when you heard someone clear their throat next to you.

“Uh-hey” Calum said, almost in disbelief. After coming to this very Starbucks practically every day at various times hoping to run into you. So when he walked in, imagine his surprise when he looked around and saw you sitting at the table next to the counter. You looked frustrated, probably another bad day, so Calum almost didn’t approach you however he couldn’t stop himself. After saying hello, he was glad he did because the smile that lit up your face was breathtaking.

“Hey” you laughed. “I didn’t think I’d see you again” Your eyes widened after making this statement, redness spreading across your face as you put your head down in embarrassment. Calum chuckled as he sat across from you.

“Neither did I. I hope this doesn’t sound weird but I’ve been coming here a lot hoping to see you again…I mean…I just um… wanted to apologize”

“No I-I’ve been here a lot too… I had to leave so I didn’t get your name…”

“Calum”

You smiled holding out your hand “I’m Y/n”

Calum smiled back as he took you hand in his, holding on to it for longer than a simple handshake would require. “Do you wanna get out of here and get some actual food or something? There’s this great pizza place up the street and-”

“I’d love to” you smiled wide, pulling on his hand still wrapped around yours as you led him out the door, leaving your coffee order forgotten.

[noonachronicles]

The End of the F**king World Pt. 5

Byun Baekhyun X Reader

Word Count: 11.3k

Warnings: Language. Cheesy confessions of love. Smut.

Genre: Apocalyptic/Alien Invasion AU. Slow Burn (ish?). One pining pup and one idiot in denial ~finally~ to lovers.

A/N: The one (I’m pretty sure) everyone’s been waiting for. 

You and Baekhyun spent quite some time in the bath and beauty store. He watched you with amusement as you’d filled the tiny bathtub with things you thought you might want to take with you. You’d also found some presents to pack for Seulgi and Irene. Once you felt satisfied with your findings Baekhyun took you around the rest of the third floor and down to the second floor for the tour. As he brought you around to the different stores you kicked yourself for not thinking about coming here much sooner. It was packed with a ton of useful items that were completely untouched.

On the second floor you found the real motherload, a military surplus shop. It was packed with knives and other weapons, an entire section dedicated to MREs, and everything you could think of for first aid supplies. When you asked Baekhyun why he’d never brought any of this stuff home with him since he’d apparently been here so often he shrugged and said that he’d never been in the store before. He said that it didn’t look very fun from the outside, which earned him a hard punch to his shoulder.

After that you found a clothes store that you wanted to go back to later and an empty shop space that hadn’t been rented out. You suggested that you could bring some of the camping supplies from the surplus store into the empty space for a nice place to sleep later. Baekhyun agreed and made note that the restrooms were right outside and you could both use them to wash up. With a plan for the night in place you finally made your way to the toy store before it really got too dark.

Flashlights in hand you made your way into the store. Almost immediately after walking inside you heard Baekhyun call your name and looked over at him. He tossed a small package your way and you reached out to grab what ended up being batteries.  

“Just in case.” he grinned before moving towards the opposite side of the store.

“Thanks.” You blushed as you pocketed the batteries and made your way down the aisles.

Down the first aisle you picked up an off brand nerf gun that was meant to look like a semi automatic sniper rifle. It felt strange in your arms, too light. Sehun had taught you to shoot a sniper rifle, you knew what it was like to hold a real one. You knew what it felt like to shoot one, to shoot a living thing with one. Holding a fake one, to imagine shooting things and people as being a fun game, it left you with an uncomfortable sensation. You frowned as you put the gun back on the shelf. You’d used to love nerf guns, they’d been fun. Brushing off the discomfort, and picking your flashlight back up from where you’d placed it, you moved down the next aisle.  

This aisle was a little more relaxed, board games and puzzles. Moving your flashlight over the pictures on the puzzle boxes you thought, if you survived this fight, you might like to start doing puzzles. Maybe you could set up a big table in the record store and just listen to music and work on puzzles with thousands of pieces. Moving along to the next aisle you found a collection of Lego sets. They made you think about Baekhyun. If he used to do them before you could get him a really nice one for the holidays, maybe he’d like that.

With him fresh on your mind a curious thought arose as you eyed the sets in front of you. “Baekhyunnie...”

“Yeah?” His voice came from somewhere a little deeper in the store.

“I have a question for you.”

“Ask away.” He sounded a little closer now but still a bit distracted.

“Why would you come to Quad Two?” you called out your question and tried to ignore the aggressive wave of jealousy that washed over you for at least the third time that day.  

“What do you mean?” He asked casually, you were glad he was still aisles away and couldn’t feel the swell of envy rolling off of you as you imagined the worst.

For a second you wondered what that meant to you. The worst. What would be the worst possible reason you could imagine? Baekhyun visiting someone. Baekhyun visiting a woman that wasn’t you. Baekhyun falling in love with someone else. With a vigorous shake of your head you halted that destructive train of thought and moved around to the next aisle.  

“You said before you’ve been here a dozen times. Why would you keep coming back to Quad Two?” as you asked the question Baekhyun rounded the corner at the end of your aisle and you looked over at him innocently. As innocently as you could manage anyway. “Were you coming to see someone? I mean... you had to have been, right? Why else would you keep coming back?”

He stopped about a yard away from you and leaned against the shelf with a smug, knowing smile. “Who were you visiting every time you went to Eight?”

“No one.” You scoffed and looked back at the shelf even if there was nothing that really interested you. “I went to the record store, that's all. And anyway don’t avoid my question. Who were you here to see?”

Biting his lip in amusement he let it go with a small pop, “I’ll tell you but only if you admit you’re jealous.”

“Well I won’t be doing that because I’m not jealous.” You rolled your eyes and stepped away, moving slowly towards the next aisle.

“You really want to know?” His voice followed behind you.

“Are you going to tell me or are you going to tease me like before when you refused to tell me who you were hung up on?” you asked looking over your shoulder at him.

“You’re still thinking about that?” he asked, “I’m surprised. You must really be jealous then.”

“You know this is why no one ever lets you have any power, right? It goes straight to your head.” you sighed, “You can be so impossible.”

“Me?” he scoffed, keeping his eyes on your back. If only you knew how impossible he found you. “You’re sure you want to know? I don’t know if your little green eyed monster could handle the truth.”  

Your fingers lightly touched the silver handle of the plastic toy in front of you. Honestly, you weren’t so sure he was wrong. There were some really beautiful women in Two. You knew that. Most of you wanted to pretend a little longer that you didn’t know why it mattered so much to you. Maybe being in love or in a relationship with someone wasn’t on your priorities list but part of you always enjoyed that Baekhyun seemed to like you. As selfish as it was. Even with everything that was happening around you it always made you feel good. He always made you feel good. For whatever reason it gave you a sense of normalcy, crushes and harmless flirting. It gave off a very Before Times feeling. The fact that thinking about him seeing someone else made you sick with envy made you feel like a terrible human and an even worse friend. You shouldn’t be so possessive over someone that wasn’t even yours. You should be happy for your friend, the one who always did his best to bring you joy.

“Yeah.” You answered quietly after a moment of consideration. Internally you reminded yourself to be nice, no matter who it was. “I really want to know.”

“Do you remember my brother?” He asked.

You looked up at him in surprise. You weren’t expecting that, “I think I met him once or twice. He was a lawyer, right?”

“Right.” He nodded. “He had an office building a couple streets away.”

“Oh.” Your shoulders fell, jealousy quickly replaced with the ache of guilt.

“I uh-“ he sighed deeply, “Sometimes when I’ve had a bad week or whatever, I’ll just go to the office. I don’t know what it is. I like to just sit in his chair and look at the pictures he kept of our family. When I’m there it feels like I’m able to talk to him. So I tell him everything. It’s just kind of comforting.”

“Baek.” You weren’t sure what to say, “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

“It’s okay.” He shrugged, “Being able to tell him things is nice, but I like telling you things too.”

Looking down at your feet you dug the toe of your shoe into the floor.

“Fine…” you sighed, still feeling horrible and like you had to give him something, “Just so we’re clear, I did ask because I was jealous.”

Baekhyun laughed. It started as a little chuckle then grew until it was something almost uncontrollable. His cheeks had formed perfectly rounded orbs of joy. Hand on his chest as he tried to breath, teeth out on full display. Just absolutely glowing with happiness. It was cute, so you rolled your eyes to offset the grin on your lips.  

“It’s not even that funny!” You tried not to laugh along with him but he was too infectious.

“I knew.” He continued to laugh, “It’s just funny because obviously I already knew, but you admitted it anyway. You’re so...you’re so great.”

“Ugh, I hate you!” you groaned.

“Yeah, I know.” he sighed, “I love you too.”

He laughed for a little while longer before growing quiet. The two of you were silent for a while but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. In fact all day, with the exception of your run in with Baddie, had been comfortable. Truthfully you usually had a good time when you were with him. You spent a minute trying to think of the last time you really let yourself spend time alone with Baekhyun. It hadn’t been for some time you knew that much. A year at least, maybe even longer.

In the beginning you were together all the time. All day every day essentially. The two of you would go out to scavenge together or train with Sehun. Then you’d go back home for the night and go over maps together and make plans for the next day. If it was a particularly hard day, if there had been lots of Lurkers or maybe you had a close call, you’d play games. He taught you poker and you learned chess together. The more you thought about how much fun the two of you had back then the less it made sense that you’d have stopped. You flushed lightly when you finally realized why you had.

At some point after the first year you worried you were, as Seulgi had put it at the time, catching feelings for him. For a lot of reasons back then you weren’t ready. Losing Siwon was still pretty fresh in your mind. You’d just barely gotten comfortable with your new situation, the new normal. The idea of having feelings for anyone, let alone someone you were as close to as Baekhyun terrified you. It was then you started to push away from him. Scavenging alone, spending time with friends from other families in an attempt to avoid alone time with him. When you looked up at him he stood with his hands in his pockets, a pout on his mouth. He seemed a little sad and you wondered if he was thinking about his brother.

“Hey.” You said finally and turned around to reach for the toys you’d been looking at before. Grabbing one plastic lightsaber in each hand you held them out to him, “Red or blue?”

His lips turned up into a smile and he said, “Blue, obviously.”

With a groan you tossed him the blue lightsaber, “Of course you would, such a good boy.”

“Which makes you...” he grinned, “a bad girl?”

You rolled your eyes. “Are we here to flirt or are we here to fight?”  

“Both.” he muttered as he tried to tear the plastic packaging from the toy.

You laughed as you jabbed one of your blades into the plastic, quickly tearing apart the packaging. Once your weapon was freed you hurried to the front of the store. Baekhyun whined about you giving him a faulty lightsaber. You dropped your backpack on the cashiers counter and tugged off your jacket in preparation. When you turned back around Baekhyun was finally flicking his toy open. His thumb pressed against the button and the blue blade started to glow, the telltale saber sounds emitting from the handle.

He slid his pack across the floor so that it was near the counter at your feet, “Ready to die, Sith spawn?”

“Not today, Jedi jerk.” You said flicking your arm so that your blade was out as well.

After that the two of you were off. You fought aggressively, just in the front of the toy store at first and eventually pushed out into the rest of the mall. Your stomach hurt from laughing as you chased each other from the third floor down to the second floor and then back up again. Invisible limbs were left all over the place and both of you excelled at dramatically losing blood. You’d died and reset three times despite your very best efforts but you refused to give up until you won. Baekhyun’s endless energy and enthusiasm was hard to match but you did your best and he respected your game. After your fourth collapse onto the tiled floor of the mall you had to request a brief recess to catch your breath. Baekhyun had agreed wanting to get a new lightsaber, since his had a bend in it.

The sun was setting but there was still a bit of light reflecting back into the galleria, enough that you didn’t need your lights outside of the stores. Both of you sipped quietly from your bottles of water. Leaning over the railing you looked down at the black lake below. You tried to think of all the times you’d watched Lurkers attack. They weren’t terribly smart creatures. They didn’t climb as far as you’d ever seen but that didn’t mean it wasn’t possible. Once or twice you’d seen one take a leap. The first time had been one that chased Taeyong to the rooftop of a building. He’d jumped across to the next building with little damage, but the Lurker was too heavy and dropped like a brick. Sometimes in their mob mentality they’d step on one another like stepping stones until they reached their victim. They were mostly big on brute force, breaking things down to get to people. Smashing windows, breaking down walls and doors. Still it surprised you they weren’t adapting after this long.

“Why do you think the Lurkers don’t try to get past the water?”

Baekhyun shrugged, “Their eyesight. We know they can’t see for shit. They have no perception of how deep the water really is or how long it goes on for. Risk versus reward isn’t worth it.”

After a moment of thought you said, “So all it would take is one Lurker to be bold enough to try. To walk through the water and realize it’s not dangerous for them and then they’d come after us, and we’d be dead.”

“Stop!” He let out a breath of a laugh but you could hear the frustration. “Why do you always do that? How can you always imagine the worst happening? We’re in the middle of having a nice time, are we not?”

“Of course we are, but that’s when you should really reassess your safety and strategy. How can you not imagine the worst? How have you survived until now?” You weren’t offended, you knew it’s what you did. You thought everyone else was crazy for never stopping to think of every possible scenario. “Haven’t the last three years taught you anything?

“The last three years taught me the only thing I need to know.” He answered, “It taught me life is short and unpredictable. Too short and too unpredictable to spend all my time worried about the things that could happen instead of enjoying the things that are happening.”

With a light sigh you tried to keep your eye roll at the most respectful length you could muster.

“Try it.” Baekhyun said seriously. “For the rest of the night, stop thinking about the world outside of this mall. No Lurkers. No Baddie. No death and pain. It’s just me and you. I promise I will worry for the both of us where worry is warranted. Just give yourself the next few hours to be worryless. To enjoy the fact that so far none of the Lurkers have been so bold to cross the water and that we have a place that feels genuinely safe.”

“I don’t know.” You shook your head.

“You’re too tense all the time. If you don’t let things go every once in a while, you’re never going to beat me at lightsabers.” when you looked back over at him he was grinning. You wondered how long ago he realized being challenged was your weakness and then you wondered how long he’d actually been using that knowledge against you.  

“Fine, but you have to promise you’ll worry about something every ten minutes, at least, to compensate for my lack of concern.”

“You got it.” He said and held his hand out.

You shook his hand to seal the deal and took a deep breath before slowly releasing it. Bending down you placed your water bottle on the ground. When you looked over you realized he’d left his new weapon on the ground inside the toy store when he’d sat down to tie his shoe earlier. You held back a malevolent grin.

He watched you, quite amused, as you physically released yourself of worries. Deep inhales, long exhales. You shook your shoulders to loosen up and stretched your body out until you were satisfied. Then you reached down to your side and grabbed the lightsaber from the holster you’d crafted and snapped it so that the red plastic blade was released to its full length. His smile dropped at that point as a confident smile grew on your own face and he realized he was unarmed and that you were blocking his access to his weapon with your own.

“Now...now I’m going to kick your ass.”

“...Shit.” Wide eyed with fear he bolted quickly in the opposite direction and you sprinted after.

He ran halfway around the third floor before skidding into a womens clothes boutique and hiding behind a headless mannequin.

“Wait!” He shouted with laughter. “I wasn’t ready!”

“A Sith would never wait for a Jedi to prepare.” You said calmly, smacking your lightsaber against the mannequin. You bit your lip to keep from laughing as Baekhyun released a shrill shriek and ran to another mannequin.

“Damn...that’s true.” He muttered.

You followed him as he circled around the boutique, hiding behind racks and mannequins.

“You should just let me kill you. You have no weapon and you can’t hide forever…”

“I’m not.” He responded before jumping up from behind the table he was next to. “Just had to catch my breath, so I can go get my weapon.”

Your eyes went wide as you realized that while you were following him around you left an open path to the door. “No!”

Both of you bolted towards the door at the same time. Baekhyun let out a battle cry and threw a balled up T-shirt at you. You paused at the door, looking down at the shirt you’d caught as he continued running back to the toy shop laughing the entire way.

“Did you just throw a fucking T-shirt at me?!” You screamed after him, “Get back here, Baek! You are so dead!”

-

Finally, having let go of some of your anxieties you were able to defeat Baekhyun twice in a row much to your satisfaction. At that point the sun had set and all you really had as far as lighting was your flashlights so both of you figured it was time to settle down for the night. Working together you carried supplies from the surplus store on the second floor to the empty shop on the third floor.

After some looking around you decided to upgrade your backpack from the one you’d been using the last several months to a sturdy, bigger one. You stuffed the new pack full of MREs to try for dinner. And like a gift from the heavens you found near the camping supplies, a display for s’mores. You made sure to snag every single bag of marshmallows and every bar of chocolate you saw. As far as you were concerned it was more important than the sleeping bags. Baekhyun grabbed the sleeping bags himself along with some lanterns for better lighting. That was going to be your very basic setup for the night. A huge empty room with a couple of sleeping bags and a stockpile of s’mores ingredients. The sight, once you’d hauled everything to the room, pleased you greatly. It was everything you needed. Feeling settled, you told Baekhyun you were going to clean up.

Before heading to the bathroom you stopped by a few other stores from earlier. In the clothes boutique you spent some time really looking around. You were pleased to find a comfortable pair of pajama pants, an oversized sweater and even some cute underwear. Feeling like being in there already was a good enough excuse you also grabbed yourself a nice, clean shirt, a new bra, and some socks for the next day.

Stuffing your new purchases in a bag you stopped a few other places before finally making your way into the bathroom. The lanterns Baekhyun had grabbed from the surplus store lit up the bathroom brilliantly. Apparently you’d grown spoiled having the shower head at Cordially. You had to angle your head quite uncomfortably to wash your hair and it left you a little annoyed. In the bath and body shop you’d found a hair mask and threw that in before starting on your body.

You groaned at the realization that you had Lurker blood splatter all over you. It was your arms mostly, but it had also soaked through your shirt in several spots. You weren’t even sure if it was from the night before or this afternoon. With your newly found loofa you were able to scrub your skin until it felt fresh. Then once you’d rinsed out your hair and thrown it up into a towel you shaved. For the first time in a long time you shaved. You felt stupid for never having done it before. It wouldn’t have been hard to find the supplies. Beyond your tapes you just didn’t think about little luxuries like that anymore.

When you finally stepped out of the bathroom you felt completely refreshed. Brand new, clean underwear and pajamas from the boutique down the way. Scented soap, and fancy shampoo from the shop Baekhyun had taken you to earlier. For the first time in years you felt almost human. While that all helped to get you there, you knew it also had a lot to do with the fact that you hadn’t spent the entire night stressed about things that may or may not happen. The only thing you’d thought about was how happy you were and how much fun you’d been having. You felt a little stupid for that too. For never taking the time before to just be a person. You should have been taking Baekhyun’s advice all along. You could never admit it to him though, he’d never let it go.

Reaching the room the two of you had set up earlier you realized that the fun was not yet over. Apparently while you’d been away getting clean and refreshed Baekhyun had been keeping busy. He’d taken it upon himself to set up an indoor campsite. There were the sleeping bags from before but he’d brought in stacks of pillows and blankets as well. They were set up around a bunch of candles that he’d turned into a makeshift campfire, complete with cardboard cut into the shapes of logs. Next to that was a pile of junk food, candy that he’d collected, along with the s’mores. And the MREs from the surplus store. The best part of all was a battery operated projector he’d found earlier in the toy store. It was set up to reflect against the ceiling and it looked like a starry night sky.

Too amazed by the sight you almost didn’t even notice Baekhyun come in. However he’d been grunting and that caught your attention. Turning around you saw him waddling inside the room from the bathrooms with the little tub in his arms, water sloshing from side to side.

He smiled brightly when he saw you, “Do you like it?”

“Where’d you find the time?” you tried to help him with the tub but he refused.

“What does that mean?” He laughed “All I have is time.”

“I mean you bathed, right?” You asked skeptically. “Because you were getting ripe.”

“First of all I was not ‘getting ripe’. Maybe you were smelling yourself.” He started, after placing the tub down, “Second I don’t know what you girls do in the bathroom but whatever it is...it takes too long.”

“Well” you sat down in the seat he’d set up on the opposite side of the foot bath, “I shaved.”

“What for?” He laughed harder than before as he tugged up the leg of the pajamas he’d put on, and stuck his feet in the water. Then he paused suddenly, “...for me?”

“No!” You denied a little too enthusiastically and way too quickly as you rolled up your own pajama pants to your knees. Baekhyun just grinned as you dipped your feet in the water with his.

While you weren’t paying attention apparently, he’d found a lemon oil, tea tree bath salt for the water and you watched, a little amazed, as he poured it in. It turned out he’d brought a lot of things along to do as your feet soaked. You started to realize you were finding his thoughtfulness less and less surprising with every passing day. Though your gratitude for it, for him, was greater than ever. He let you apply a peel off mask to his face and he applied one to yours. He said he would massage your hands with a nice lotion he’d found but made you promise to do the same for him, which seemed like the easiest trade off you’d ever agreed to in your life. You even let him paint your nails, he didn’t do a bad job at all.

“Okay, try this one.”

Digging your spoon into the pouch that you’d heated up, you laughed to yourself at the way it looked and then held it out to him.  

“Is that dog food? That looks like someone already tried it and then spit it back in the pouch. Give me another one of those cookies instead.” he said still painting your toes.

“One bite of cookie and then you have to try the food. I made it for you myself.”

He rolled his eyes as he opened his mouth so you could feed him a bite from one of the cookies that had been in the meal package. You waited diligently until he swallowed and then shoved the spoon in front of him. After accepting the spoonful he started shaking his head. He made a face like he wanted to spit it out but realized he didn’t have anywhere for it to go.

Swallowing the mouthful he made a gagging noise that just made you laugh further, “Nope. That’s a big time no on the beef brisket.”

“Shame.” you sighed putting it to the side and grabbing the next one, “It smelled pretty good.”

“Actually, you know what we should do?” he asked, finishing your last little toe and then sitting back, “We could take it with us and force feed it to Baddie. It might be the secret weapon to his destruction.”

“Ready-to-eat poison pouch?” you asked and held out a spoonful of something new.

“Why am I the only one eating them?” he asked, looking at you with great suspicion. “Why don’t I make one and you eat it?”

“I am eating them! I ate the chicken with the rice and the tacos.” you said innocently.

“Yeah, after I tried them first and said they were good!” he argued before reluctantly taking the new bite of food from you anyway. “Eh, it’s not bad, not great.”

Taking a bite of the pouched spaghetti you shrugged, “Kind of like that canned stuff from when we were kids. Want some more cheese spread?”

“Nah.” he reached over and pulled an armful of junk food across the floor to where you were sitting on your sleeping bags. “Time for s’mores.”

Though both of you were actually pretty full from eating the meals you still managed to tear through an entire bag of marshmallows and all of the chocolate a little too quickly. Neither of you was ready for the fun to be over though so you kept snacking on marshmallows straight from the bag and played games from a stack that Baekhyun had brought over from the toy store. After several rounds of Connect Four and Guess Who, he suggested Chubby Bunny. It seemed like the two of you were dead set on finishing every bag of marshmallows you’d brought with you anyway so he thought you might as well make it fun.

“Thumby mubby.” he mumbled cheeks fat and round with about eight jumbo marshmallows and big puppy eyes watering with laughter.  

“Stop! You’re so dumb. I can’t breathe. I can’t-“ You brushed the tears from your aching cheeks as you laughed. Your whole torso hurt from the strain on your muscles.

Looking over at him you couldn’t help but feel a little overwhelmed. He was such an amazing guy. You couldn’t help but think about all the time you’d spent together and how happy you always were when you were with him. You remembered everything he’d ever done for you whether they were huge things like saving your life or tiny little things like sharing a piece of gum with you. He was such a dork. He could be so annoying and completely infuriating sometimes. Some days he drove you absolutely insane. But looking at him now, his cheeks packed with marshmallows and tears of laughter streaking down his cheeks...you knew. You knew that you never would have survived this long without him and you knew you didn’t have a future if he wasn’t in it.

Before your brain could make sense of what your heart was doing, before it could stop you again you said, “I love you.”

Your smile faded quickly and a brick of nerves slammed into the pit of your stomach where the laughter had just been. Your eyes looked anywhere but at him. He was trying so hard to chew and clear his stuffed mouth, he nearly choked. You knew what he was going to ask. You knew he’d want to know what you meant and as you sat there waiting for the inevitable you realized you weren’t sure what you wanted to say.

You knew what you meant by it but it didn’t have to be what you told him. You could always say you meant, “I love you like a friend”. Even if you knew it was more. Even if you knew it was “I love you so much it hurts. You’re everything I have in this fucked up reality and I’d be lost without you”.

“What did you mean...when you said that?” He asked, finally swallowing the last of the marshmallows.

“I don’t know what you mean.” You shrugged.

“You’ve literally never said you loved me before. Did you mean love like when I say ‘Oh man, I love Chanyeol?’ or did you mean I love you like how I mean it when I say ...I love you too?”

You sat quietly for a moment, contemplating your options. One or both of you could be dead by tomorrow and the way you saw it you could do one of two things. You could continue to blow him off, pretend like how he made you feel was nothing, and then you die or he dies or you both die and he never knows for sure how much you actually do love him. He doesn’t know that he meant more to you than anyone left in the whole world. He never finds out that every single day you spent with him was a day he kept you alive. And if you live and he dies, you live with that regret until your last breath.

Or the other option would be to just tell him. And maybe, for just one single moment in this hellscape of a reality, you could be reminded of how good just loving someone felt. Then tomorrow comes and one or both of you die and then it’s over, good feelings gone. Bad feelings made ten times worse because you’ve lost the one thing you loved the most in the whole world and you can’t lie to yourself anymore because you already told him the truth.

You sighed shakily.

“Do you remember the first few weeks after the invasion? We didn’t know anything then. We didn’t know if it would stop. We didn’t understand Lurkers yet. We didn’t know if we’d run out of clean water or if we’d run out of food. Everyday was miserable to get through. Everything was so dark and gloomy.” Finally you looked up at him with tear filled eyes, “Except for you, Baek. You always found a reason to smile. Every single day. Even if it was something small or silly, you were always so happy. I didn’t understand how you did it. And I didn’t understand why you always shared it with me, whatever that one thing was. You always made sure I smiled or laughed.”

He scooted closer as you started to really cry and placed his hand on your knee. You thought to hold his hand but yours was absolutely trembling at your side.

You wiped at your cheeks and with a shaky voice you continued, “I was so miserable then. To you, to everyone. I didn't even want to live in this world. I thought about dying every day. Seulgi kept me alive those days. I couldn’t do that to her, you know? Then she had Yeol and I knew she would be okay. I knew he would take care of her. I wasn’t living for her anymore, but by then I had something else to keep me going.”

You placed your hand on top of his. He didn’t say anything, just squeezed your fingers.

“You were so nice to me. You always have been, even before this. And I couldn’t figure out why. I didn’t deserve it, I never have. I’ve never been half as good to you as you deserve. To be honest, of everyone that’s left I think I’m still pretty miserable now. I definitely still don’t deserve you or how amazing you are to me. Maybe I’ll never deserve you. Your kindness is so pure and you’re so thoughtful. I guess despite that, despite knowing I’ll never be good enough for you, I also know now without a doubt that I wouldn’t be here without you. I don’t want to be here without you, Baekhyun. You’re what keeps me going. You’re my reason. You’re the only reason I try anymore. I guess I mean... I- I love you. I love you. I just...love you.”

He leaned forward with a tiny grin and dried your face with the long, soft sleeve of his shirt,  “So...not at all like when I say I love Chanyeol.”

With a small laugh you wiped your cheeks again, “No, not really. It’s like a little bit more than that.”

“Y/n, I...I can’t remember a minute of my life when I wasn’t in love with you.” He said with a thoughtful smile, “That’s how long it’s been for me. Literally since the second I saw you. Feels like decades at this point but I still remember it perfectly. Whatever happened in my life before I met you, it just doesn’t exist now. It’s not important. You do deserve everything I do for you. If for no other reason than because I say you do. And I’m not as good as you think I am. Every time I made you smile was purely selfish because your smile is the only thing that gets me through the day. And that was true well before any of this bullshit. Why do you think I always brought you coffee? I just wanted to see you happy. You’ve been the reason for my smile for years. This was just my chance to be that for you. And just in case I haven’t said it enough yet, I love you too.”

You rolled your lip between your teeth before giving him a pout, “I think this is where we kiss.”

“Really?” He looked a little overwhelmed.

You nodded in affirmation and he leaned forward. He gently pinched your chin between his fingers and brought your lips to his. His eyes lingered on your mouth for some time. You were growing restless watching him grin at your waiting lips.

“This isn’t some fantasy, Baek. I’m here, you can really kiss me.” You whispered.

He let out a huff of laughter. “That’s funny...you don’t like waiting for me.”

“You know I’m impatient.”

“Oh, I know.” He responded, but still he made no effort to kiss you. Only sat there smirking.

“And yet, you do not kiss me…”

His eyes crinkled with a smile as he felt you grow more and more frustrated. You were about to just lean in and do it yourself when he pulled away completely. Your eyes went wide in shock.

“I changed my mind.” His eyes were sparkling as he looked you over.

“About?”

He looked down at his lap, “I was going to kiss you. I want to kiss you. I’ve wanted to kiss you forever and it would be so easy to just grab you by the face and bury myself in you until I can’t feel my mouth anymore.”

“That sounds great. You should do that.”

“I think I want to wait instead.” he grinned at the anguish on your face, and seemingly out of nowhere he said, “When I was little I wasn’t really allowed to have sweets. My parents thought I had too much energy as it was.”

“I can't imagine that at all...” you said sarcastically, and settled back down, realizing this wasn’t going to be the instant gratification you were looking for.

“For my birthday and only my birthday, I would get a cake and a bag filled with candies. All of my favorite kinds. The best ones. And my parents would let me eat the candy however I wanted but they reminded me that I'd only get the one bag. When I was younger I would be done with the bag in a day, an hour if I didn’t get a stomach ache. As I got older I understood the lesson better. I stretched it out as much as I could. I’d wait weeks and then have a candy and then a few more and have another one. I had candy all year long if I did it right, and every one of those candies I’d appreciate to the fullest.”

“So...I’m the candy?” you asked.

He shook his head. “I’m the candy.”

“I don’t understand, Baek.” You said thoroughly confused.

“I’ve wanted you forever. You’ve wanted me for five minutes. If I just let you eat the whole bag you don’t learn the lesson.” He shot a lopsided smile your way. “I just want to make sure you take your time and appreciate me to the fullest.”

“You assume I wouldn’t appreciate you?” You asked semi-offended. “That I don’t already.”

“I just want to make sure.”

You supposed you could play his little game. “Okay. So what do we do now?”

“Time for bed.” He said, throwing himself down against the pillows.

You were wrong, you could not play. “You're not serious?”

“Good night.” he closed his eyes, a cheerful smile on his face.

“Byun Baekhyun...I swear,” you threatened, “if you don’t get up…”

“Then you’ll what?” He teased, keeping his eyes closed.

“Then I’ll…” you weren’t sure.

He wiggled his body until he was comfortably settled, “Well, go on.”

“I’ll go down there to you.”

Finally he opened his eyes, they were bright and playful as ever. “Look at you. You want me so bad. I might even say you’re being desperate.”

“Shut up.” You shoved his shoulder and he rolled easily from his side to his back.

Baekhyun laughed as he looked up at you, “If you really want me that much, I guess I won’t stop you, but remember... I’m a treat.”

Your lips parted as if to speak but instead you leaned forward and kissed him. It was so simple, a junior high kiss. Just your lips on his lips. Nothing special about it at all but it felt like everything. It was hard to tell if it was just years of not being touched or if it was because it was Baekhyun. You had a feeling it was a little of both. He had one hand in your hair but his other arm wrapped around your waist. A giggle escaped your mouth as he pulled you on top of him. The two of you kissed like that for a while, PG13. You couldn’t bring yourself to stop but eventually he pulled back to take a look at you.

“Your lips taste like marshmallows.” He whispered.

Leaning forward you left a soft kiss on his cheek. “You should taste the rest of me.”

“Don’t.” He murmured quietly before easing himself out from under you and pushing up into a sitting position, “Not unless you mean it.”

You pushed yourself up as well, and threw your leg over him, settling down onto his lap. “What makes you think I don’t mean it?”

“You’re a tease.” He said placing a hand on your hip.

“I’m a tease!” You laughed and shoved his shoulder again. “Mr. Time for bed.”

“You’ve been teasing me years.” There was a small smile on his face but his eyes darkened. “Walking around all smart and funny. Strong, so strong, and so beautiful. There’s never been anyone as sexy as you. And you’ve just been rubbing it in my face all these years.”

With a blush you kissed his cheek and then pulled his lip between your teeth. When you leaned back he was practically glowing again. You grabbed the bottom hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head. Then he watched wide eyed as you pulled your sweater off. Chilly against your hot skin, his long fingers moved up the length of your back. He brought you close until you were pressed against his chest and groaned as you brushed your tongue gently across his lips before he opened his mouth for you.

Getting caught up in the kiss you moved your hands up his neck and into his hair. You moaned softly into the kiss. Instantly you felt his nails dig into the skin of your shoulders. The feel of his tongue on yours was euphoric. You’d forgotten how much you loved to kiss. There was a simplicity to it, no rush. It felt normal for a moment like you were back in your old life. You could have kissed him all night but it was clear after a while, as he grew hard against your thigh, that he had other plans for the two of you. He flipped you so that you were on your back. His lips sucked on the skin of your neck until you were gasping beneath him.

He pulled back for just a second to look at you, “Do you want…”

“Yes.” You answered effortlessly.

He groaned and pressed a kiss against your cheek. “I uh...I don’t have any condoms. I don’t even know where to get one that’s not expired.”

“I think we’ll be okay.” you laughed, “Unless you’ve been sleeping around with everyone we know.”

“I haven’t...not with anyone.” he said quietly.

“Ever?” you asked surprised.

“God no! Not ever!” he said, horrified by the assumption, “Just since it happened.”

“Me too.”

“Really?” he asked.

“Really.” You weren’t sure if you should be upset by how genuinely shocked he sounded. “Who’d you think I was fucking?”

“No one.” he said looking just passed you, avoiding looking at you.

“Obviously someone.”

“Please don’t get mad at me.” he begged, feeling this moment slipping away from him. “I just, I couldn’t shake the feeling you were with... Hyunwoo.”

“Oh.” your forehead creasing as you tried to avoid replaying his death over and over again at the mention of him like you had been for the last couple of days.

He sighed seeing the distraught look on your face, though he assumed it was because of what he’d said and not what you’d seen. He pushed his face into your shoulder mumbling, “I fucked this up.”

“No… no you didn’t.” you turned your head slightly and kissed his forehead. “Just distract me. Please. I do want this.

“Okay…” he brushed his thumb over your cheek, his face still resting on your shoulder. “Do you remember the other day when Baddie showed up? Do you remember that morning?”

“Um.” you couldn’t think with his fingertips dragging down the length of your neck, so slowly. “Barely. I was on scavenging duty like normal.”

Turning his face up, his nose brushed your neck and then his lips grazed your skin, “Do you remember before that? On the rooftop of the old bank. You were…you were touching yourself.”

“How do you-“ you inhaled sharply as his hand moved down your neck to your chest. “I didn’t.”

“Don’t deny it.” He grinned feeling the gulp move down your throat passed his lips. “I watched you.”

“Seriously?” You asked. You knew you should be more angry, feel violated. Instead between the thought of him watching you and the way he kept whispering against your neck left you excited. You let out the smallest laugh, “I always knew you were a little pervert.”

“It was an accident at first,” he said pulling your earlobe between his teeth, “but I did enjoy it.”

“Fuck, Baek.” you sighed.

“Tell me what you were thinking about.” he spoke softly but it was a demand regardless. “What do you fantasize about?”

When you turned your face towards his, your noses brushed together in an Eskimo kiss and your eyes met his before you muttered, “You.”

His eyes went wide, as if he forgot he was trying to seduce you. Finally gathering himself he puffed out an amused breath of air. “If you don’t tell me the truth Y/n,  I can’t make your fantasies come true.”

“I’m telling you the truth.” you whispered against his lips, “I was thinking about you.”

He moved his absent hand back up your body, grabbing your chin. Holding you in place he sucked your lip between his in an urgent kiss. You moaned slightly as your mouths molded together. When he pulled away his eyes locked with yours. They were electric. It was as if all the energy he usually used up running around everywhere or chatting your ear off was locked inside of them.

“Tell me everything. I want to know everything that happened in that beautiful head of yours.”

You blushed but you knew you weren’t getting out of it and you didn’t want to, “We were in the shower room at Cordially.”

“With the candles and flowers like I did for you?” you nodded and somehow his face beamed brighter than before, “were we naked?”

“And wet.” You grinned.

He threw his head back with a groan before looking back at you, “It’s perfect already. Keep going.”

“You had the shower head, and you used it on me and the water pressure was astounding.” He laughed against your neck as his hand slipped into your pajama pants.

“Yeah?” He asked, “Did I use it here?”

Your mouth dropped open as his hand slipped into your panties, sliding smoothly against your already slick sex. You shivered at the feeling of someone else’s hands on you.

“Yeah, there.”

“God,” he murmured as his fingers dragged up and down your sex, occasionally rubbing against your clit. “we don’t even need a showerhead, you're so wet.”

You nodded and then gasped as two of his digits found their way inside of you. They were so long and so agile and felt infinitely better than your own. It had only been enough time for a few slow, almost experimental, pumps of his hand but already you felt like you might come.

“Do you always think of me?” He asked.

You answered honestly, “No.”

“Oh.” His hand paused momentarily and continued on.

“But thinking of you is the only way I can come.”

“Ohhhh…” he flushed.

You dropped your hand to his front and moved it under the elastic band of his pajama pants until your fingers wrapped around his already fully erect cock. He tried to keep his focus on you as you rubbed the sticky wet precum from his head down his shaft. It was so thick and hard in your hand you could feel your mouth water. There was a grunt released from deep in his throat with every pump of your fist.

“Slow down.” He gasped “There’s no way… I won’t last.”

“Well…” you lifted your free hand to his neck and pulled him down for a kiss.

“Say something.” He whispered against your lips.

“You don’t have to make me come like this.” you offered, “You could just fuck me, it’s okay.”

He shook his head and worked his hand faster. “No, you get both.”

You leaned back into the pillow with a moan as he dropped his head to your naked chest. His tongue brushed against your nipple, twirled around it. He sucked it into his mouth as his fingers curled inside you.

“Oh, Baek...Baekhyun.” You whimpered. “Your hands…”

“Tell me about my hands.”

“They’re magic.” He hummed with laughter. “I’ve never felt anything so amazing in my life.”

“Are you gonna come for these hands?”

“Yes, yes…” you gasped “Yes, oh. Oh yes, right there. Right. There.”

“You’re close.” He panted hot air over your skin, “I can feel it. Come on baby, get there for me.”

“I am!” You couldn’t stop the scream, “I’m coming! I’m coming! FUCK!”

He kept his fingers buried inside of you as you came down from your orgasm, loving the way it felt as you contracted around him. After a minute had passed Baekhyun removed his hand from between your legs and leaned back beside you with a sigh. You looked over at him breathlessly and he turned to look at you. He lifted his hand to his mouth and sucked his fingers clean of you. You blushed as he hummed with delight. Then he smiled and his smile turned into a laugh of disbelief. You couldn’t help but laugh along with him.

Reaching out you brushed your thumb against his cheek, “Thank you.”

“I bet you can thank me better than that.”

You raised an eyebrow at his cheeky comment, “I can. Would you like that?”

“Maybe later.” He grinned, “Right now I kind of just want to be inside of you...if that’s okay?”

With a slightly nervous gulp you nodded. Then you watched as he got up and dragged his pants and boxers off his hips. You pulled your own pants and underwear down as well. Sitting back down on the blankets he grabbed your hand and pulled you over until you were sitting on his lap again.

“Are you sure you’re ready for me?” You teased.

A simple, happy hum escaped him. “I’m sure.”

Neither of you said anything else as you reached down between your legs. Baekhyun inhaled sharply as your fingers wrapped around him again, adjusting him to where he needed to be. You groaned as you sunk down onto him, taking him in. Grabbing your hips he held you still for a moment, wanting to take in the feel of finally being inside of you. You didn’t mind as you were adjusting to the stretch from the girth of him.

“Oh god, oh my god.” He groaned. “You feel so good, you don’t even have to move.”

“Am I better than your hand?” You smirked as you leaned down for a kiss.

He inhaled sharply as you began to roll your hips nice and slow. “My hand? Never of her. All I know now is you.”

You laughed and then tensed at the jolt of pleasure that shot through you. The two of you moved together so perfectly as he let you take control. You were pretty certain even if he wasn’t the first person you’d had sex with in nearly three years he’d still be the best. Whimpering out your pleasure against his lips you kept on while your foreheads, beading with sweat, pressed together. Hands still gripping onto your hips Baekhyun pulled you closer, burying himself deeper.

“Still think I’m a tease?”

“No,” moving one of his hands from your hips he landed a smack against your ass, “I think you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Jerking forward you released a satisfied groan. Your legs tightened around him and he moved his hips up to meet yours, matching every thrust. His neck bloomed red as he gasped against your chest. As he licked at the sweat that gathered on your skin your eyes rolled back. Your hands slipped up his back, nails digging into his shoulders until he hissed.

“I’m gonna com- fuck Y/n…” he threw his head back in pure ecstasy.

His neck was stretched out so long, little veins popping out prominently along the length as he worked harder to get to his orgasm and yours. Never before did you have the urge to dig your teeth into someone but Byun Baekhyun was a treat that made your mouth water.

With a shake of your head to clear your thoughts you kept going, kept grinding down onto him. The little grunts and groans that escaped your lips were driving him crazy. His shoulders were growing red from tension. The muscles in your thighs were aching. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you pulled him in as close as you could.

“Oh, Jesus Christ.” You gasped, “I’m there, Baek. I’m right here with you.”

“Good.” He muttered breathlessly as he kept going.

Every muscle in your body tensed as he threw his hips into you as hard as he could. Then you slowly eased with release. Baekhyun had grunted when you tightened around him, milking out his matching orgasm, coating you in warmth.

You stayed on his lap for a few minutes, the mess of the both of you dripping down your thighs and pooling into his lap. You weren’t entirely sure why you didn’t move. Only knowing you wanted to be as close as you could to him for just a little longer. He didn’t seem to mind. He just sucked gently on the skin of your shoulder, catching his breath until you were ready and pulled yourself off.

One you’d gotten off his lap you laid down on the blanket beside him and he released a deeply satisfied sigh, crashing down onto his back. “That surpassed...every single one of my fantasies of you.”

“Did it?” You hummed thoughtfully. “I just can’t believe we could have been doing this the whole time.”

He kissed your temple and chuckled lightly, “Whose fault is it that we weren’t?”

“Don’t be mean.” You pouted. “We were having such a nice moment.”

“You’re right.” He grinned as he leaned in for another kiss. “I’m sorry.”

Your hands moved around his neck, holding him close while your tongue moved across his lip. The two of you kissed for a while and then you felt him start to stiffen against your hip once more.

“Wanna do it again?” You whispered against his mouth.

“Absolutely, I do.”

He continued the kiss as his hands moved down your body. His arm tucked under your leg and he flipped you so you were on your back. You watched as he slipped down your body, leaving a trail of kisses along the way. He didn’t say anything before he buried his face in the mound between your thighs.

A groan vibrated against you. It sounded like he’d just gotten a mouth full of his favorite meal for the first time in years. You tensed all over as his wet tongue swirled and flicked at your tingling clit until he sucked it between his lips. He kissed your lips and sucked you into his mouth until your eyes were rolling back.

“Baek!” You gasped, “You’re so good at that, what the fuck?”

Baekhyun hummed happily and continued on. His magic fingers found their way inside of you once more and you’d become so wet that the sound was nothing but lewd. It was almost too much for you to take. As you inched closer to your third orgasm you reached down and grabbed at his head with both hands. You were pretty sure he laughed while he dropped his messy hand down to stroke his cock, using your abundance of arousal to get himself ready. A violent shiver moved down your body with your orgasm, your back arching completely off the ground.

“Oh Jesus fucking christ!” You screamed, “I...”

As he moved back up your body you continued to shiver, tiny moans filling the air. Your hands stayed fisted in his hair and every part of you was tense. He watched as you caught your breath, kissing your collarbone and your neck.

“Are you okay?” He asked softly.

“It’s just a lot. After so long… overwhelming.” You were gasping out breaths.

“Let’s stop.” He suggested but he didn’t sound at all angry or disappointed.

You shook your head, “No, that’s not fair. I can do it. I can take it.”

“You're sure?”

“Yes, I want it. I want you.” You pulled his lip between yours for a quick kiss, “Please, Baek? I want you so bad.”

Pushing himself up over you he reached down again. His tip brushed gently against your still wet, very sensitive sex and he eased in. You winced slightly at the feel but relaxed once he was fully inside.

“Slow, okay?” Your voice came out quiet, almost innocent.

With a nod he started a deliberate roll of his hips. You lifted your legs so they were wrapped around him and urged him closer and deeper. Both of you were dripping beads of sweat as he took his sweet time. Each of the moans that escaped you perfectly matched the mixture of pain and pleasure that consumed you.

“I swear, I’m almost there.” He promised after a few minutes with a heady groan. “Oh god. You just feel good. I can’t…I can’t explain it.”

Reaching your hands up you held his flushed cheeks in your palms, “Baekhyun, I really love you.”

“I love you too.”

As he held himself up above you, you watched him lift his face to the sky. His neck stretching out before you once more like an offering. This time you couldn’t hold back. Lifting yourself up you latched your teeth to his skin. It wasn't a gentle tickle but you didn’t draw blood either. His mouth dropped open with a surprised gasp and he inhaled with a hiss as he came, his hips stilled.

“Sh-shit…” the warmth of him inside of you paired with the pressure of him pressed so deep took you over the edge one more, almost painful, time.

Your teeth dug into your lip to stifle a soft sob. You wrapped your arms around his body and pulled him down onto you. Arms tightening around him as much as they could.

“You okay?” He asked, leaving kisses against your sweaty temple.

“Mmm. Just don’t move.” you pleaded, “I just need a second, it’s a little too much.”

Baekhyun nodded, not moving besides to leave soft kisses on your chest and neck. He waited until you gave him the okay and then he removed himself slowly and collapsed beside you a second time. You rolled into his side, throwing your leg over his thigh and resting your head against his shoulder.

The two of you laid there for sometime, quiet, his fingers trailing over your bare skin. As if getting a sudden burst of energy Baekhyun sat up, greatly disturbing your comfort, and reached over to his pile of things near the candle campfire. When he laid back down next to you he had his instant camera in hand.

“No.”

“Why not?” He pouted immediately, still messing with the settings regardless.

“There’s no way I look cute right now.” You argued.

“You’ve never been more wrong in your entire life.” He said and eased back down beside you. “Come on. Just one. For me.”

“One.” You said sternly.

His smile stretched even wider, which you didn’t think was possible, and he leaned towards you. You moved a little closer to him while he stretched his arm out to take a selfie. Thinking quick, just before he pushed the button, you snuck a kiss against his cheek. With a laugh he grabbed the instant film as it was released and held it out so both of you could watch as the picture came through.

You laughed when you saw his face, eyebrows raised in shock with the happy surprise. “Okay, it’s cute, but only because of you.”

He pulled the picture close to his face and blushed happily, “You’re so in love with me.”

“Let me see.” you grabbed his hand and bought the photo closer. You could see it, it was clear. Even though it was just a tiny, low quality picture you could see it. It was there in the way you looked at him like he was everything. You didn’t tell him you agreed, you just turned and kissed his shoulder. “I want another s’more.”

“Shame we’re out of chocolate.” He said, tucking the picture away to the side.

“We’re not.” you tugged the sheet you’d been laying on out from under him and wrapped it around yourself before crawling over to your backpack.

Baekhyun rolled over into his stomach and watched you. His eyes grew wide with realization. “You don’t…”

You looked over your shoulder at him and grinned before lifting your bar of birthday chocolate into view. “I do.”

“I can’t believe you were holding out on me.”

“If you really love me, you’ll forgive me and make me another.” You said as you crawled back over to him and dropped the chocolate on the pillow.

“I’ll make you a s’more if you let me take a booby pic.” He smirked.

“Baekhyun!” you laughed as you shoved his chest. “No way, you little perv.”

“I won’t show anyone! I swear.” He placed his hands together in a prayer. “Please!”

With a roll of your eyes you dropped the sheet to your hips. For a moment he just sat and stared at you, as if he’d completely forgotten why you’d done it in the first place. Then he quickly scurried to grab the camera and shoot his shot.

Tugging the sheet back up around you, you laid back down. “S’mores!”

These ones were way better than the first. Though you weren’t entirely sure it was just because of the chocolate you used. It could have been the chocolate. You just suspected that it was more so kissing the chocolate off of Baekhyun's lips. Or him sucking your fingers clean of melted marshmallow. Or the way it made you feel every time he whispered that he loved you just before pressing his sugary lips against your skin, which happened quite a bit.

You hadn’t used the word perfect to describe a single day since the invasion. At least not unless it was sarcastically. But this day? This day had been perfect. You tried not to think about how many days you could have had like this one. How many days with him you’d missed out on because you were too scared to get hurt. You didn’t want to think about how few of these days you were actually going to get. You’d told him you’d stop worrying, so you weren’t going to let yourself ruin this perfect day.

“I hope you know,” you said with your chin resting on his chest once all the chocolate really was gone, the marshmallows had been devoured, and the two of you were dressed once more. You looked up at him. “Now that I love you or whatever, you really can’t let anything happen to you. If you do. I swear, if you died, I’d be forced to kill you.”

His eyes blew wide and his smile even wider as he wrapped your head in a bear hug against his chest, “Aw! You love me!”

“I already said I did. Several times.” you grumbled. “Can’t breathe.”

He released you from his suffocating embrace and looked down his nose at you thoughtfully. His soft fingers dragged across your forehead, brushing away loose hairs and tucking them behind your ear. He ran his thumb over your lips and his eyes moved over every inch of your face like he was committing you to memory. You had a sneaking suspicion it was something he’d wanted to do for sometime.

You felt incredibly vulnerable, in a way that you never had before. However nothing about it was as unpleasant as you’d always assumed that sort of vulnerability would feel. Instead it was calming. Something about opening yourself to him felt so safe, it felt like it was something you’d been desperately missing. Finally, he slipped his fingers through your hair and dipped his face to yours for a soft kiss.

“I thought you were going to fight me for the rest of our, probably short, lives.”

“I still might.” you joked.

“Okay,” he nodded in quick acceptance. “You can keep pretending to hate me. Just so long as you kiss me like you love me.”

In response you pulled his lip between yours and squeezed him tighter. The kiss lasted a long while. Soft and slow. You were so warm and comfortable, you wondered if it was possible to fall asleep in the middle of a makeout session. As if reading your thoughts Baekhyun pulled slowly away from your lips. He kissed your nose, your forehead and then the top of your head. Then, with your head on his shoulder he grew quiet beneath you and you assumed he’d fallen asleep. Even if he had, there was something you needed to confess.

“I’m sorry.” you whispered.

He hummed against the top of your head, “For?”

“Taking so long to come around.”

He smirked, though you couldn’t see it you could hear it in his voice. “Yeah, I bet you’re feeling preeetty stupid right about now. Knowing you’ve been missing out on all this.”

“Ugh, so annoying.” you puffed out a quiet laugh. “I hate you so much.”

“I know.” he tightened his embrace around you, “I love you too.”

His hand moved gently over your back but you couldn’t quite fall asleep.

“Baek,” you whispered and he hummed again in an acknowledgement that he’d heard you. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

“I hope you know I never will.”

[anastasiabeaverhousen87]

Praying to the porcelain God

words: 3205

You been told before never to eat from suspicious food stands, especially if you never tried them before or if Kara or Alex haven’t already approved the food. But today you forgot your lunch at home and the food from the cafeteria was not very appealing for you. One of your co-workers saw you make faces at the food options and invited you to eat lunch with them. They were going to get burgers from a new street vendor a couple of blocks away. It was too tempting; you love cheeseburgers and they made it sound like they were really good. So, you said yes. Everyone was going and you were starving.

The following day you woke up feeling a little odd, a bit nauseous but you didn’t think anything about it. You got a chamomile tea instead of coffee and went about your day as usual. Kara was already gone so you just decided to grab a yogurt and granola bar at work.

You finished getting your things ready and were about to leave the apartment when you felt a sharp pain in your stomach followed by cramping. You went to the bathroom and removed your sweater, you felt a swelling of your abdomen and yes, you lower abdomen was inflamed and felt tender to the touch. Another painful cramp made you run to the toilet and you knew you were screwed the moment you sit down.

y/n: “Fuck!!!, ughh it hurts…damn it, Alex is going to kill me” – you didn’t leave the bathroom for a while, you lamented your poor choices while you were sitting in the toilet seat.

 You decided you needed to let someone know you felt like shit and wouldn’t be able to get to work with further incidents, so you called Kara. Kara was softer and if you play your card right maybe she could be the buffer between Alex’s lecturing and you.  You dialed her number and put it on speaker while washing your hands, you were standing Infront of the sink mirror and put the phone down.

 Kara: “Hi sweet girl, what’s up?”

You were about to respond when you felt nausea hit hard, you saw your reflection become green and you ran to toilet once again. Just in time for you to continue emptying your stomach contents, tears sprung into your eyes as the pain in your stomach grew stronger and effort of being violently ill into the porcelain bowl.

On the other side of the line, Kara was listening to you suffering. “Y/N baby? What’s wrong, where are you?” but at not getting a response she ditched everything to fly straight home following your heartbeat.

You stopped vomiting and felt exhausted, you spit into the toilet and flush it.  You use toilet paper to clean you mouth and drop to the bathroom floor exhausted.  Kara enter the apartment looking for you.

Kara: “y/n?, oh my God what’s wrong baby?”- Kara panics at looking at your body sprawled in the bathroom floor all pale and clammy.

y/n: “Ughh best guess? stomach bug. I just puked my guts out, and before that I emptied my bowels in a different way” - you grimace at the explosive diarrhea you went through less than half an hour ago.

Kara: “Oh sweetie, I’m sorry you feel so poorly. Come on, let me pick you up from the floor”- the blonde woman tries to pick you up, but you feel like you’re not quite over.

Y/n: “Kara, I don’t think I can move quite yet and the floor is cold, it feels nice” –you move a little on the floor to get more of the chilly sensation on your hot skin- “I feel like crap sissy” a tear runs down your cheek and you look up to your sister. Kara brushes the tear away and cradles the side of your face. You are about to move again into a sitting position when you feel your stomach painfully cramp again and you roll into a fetal position trying to make the pain lessen somehow.

Kara: “Oh baby, looks like a horrible stomach bug. But I’m so bad at human illnesses let me call Alex really quick, she is the best when it comes to this kind of things.” Kara looks desperate and seeing you so sick on the floor. Kara is now sitting next to you holding your head in her lap and running her fingers through your hair.

Y/N: “You can’t, busy. Summit in New York” – you mumble trough clenching teeth.

Kara: “I know she is busy with work, but she can take a phone call if it’s an emergency. Its her or the ER. Your call.”

y/n: “Alex…” – you much prefer hearing your helicopter sister ask a thousand question that being prod and wait in the Emergency Room.

Kara takes her phone out of her pocket and dials the number; it rings a few times and then it connects.

Alex: “Hey what’s up, everything okay?”- the red head asks immediately, knowing her sisters wouldn’t be calling her if it was not an emergency.

Kara: “No, y/n is sick. I just found her on the bathroom floor all clammy and she told me she vomited a lot. Also, she thinks it’s a stomach bug.” You can´t hear what Alex says on the phone, then Kara turns the phone on speaker “Ok hold on, yes. Ok ok now you’re on speaker now”

Alex: “Hi little one. I’m so sorry you got sick baby and I bet you feel awful but I need to ask you a few things ok?”

You nod, even though Alex cant see you, but you think if you can let her think it’s a stomach bug going around the office you’ll be off the hook and avoid the speech on getting food from street vendors.

Y/n: “Yeah ok…”- you feel to tire so yes, you can answer whatever she wants as longs she doesn’t ask you to move.

Alex: “Ok sweetie, Kara mentioned vomiting, what else are you feeling? Do you also have diarrhea? is she warm or cold Kara?

Y/N: “painful cramps, diarrhea definitely that was first and the puked my guts out. Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything left inside my intestines by this point. It was super gross Alex. I feel a little cold now. There’s a bug going on around the office and some of the guys got sick”- you say the last part a bit fast and avoid looking at Kara, then you groan in pain at another cramp.

Kara: “She is all clammy, her cheeks are flush, and she is shivering a little. Also, she is now avoiding direct eye contact…” – Kara raises an eyebrow at you, knowing there’s something you are avoiding.

Alex: – “y/n baby, was your stool a little bloody and watery? Or soft and muddy? , also Kara can you check her abdomen does it look a little swollen and prod very gently please “

y/n: “first one”- You can hear Alex give a long sigh

Kara: “definitely swollen and a bit tender”

Alex: “What did you eat yesterday either at lunch or dinner? And don’t even think about lying to me y/n. I will know if you are lying. That’s not just a stomach bug”

Kara is looking down at you worry on her face, “We ate steak and mashed potatoes with some veggies last night. Lena cooked. and I know I can’t get sick, but Lena was okay. So, what did you eat for lunch baby?”

Y/n: “a cheeseburger” –you mumble

Alex: “Where?”

y/n: “A new place near the building, a few of the guys I work with we got burgers yesterday”

Alex: “when you say ´new place, you mean a well stablished franchise or restaurant? Not a street vendor with doubtful hygiene and suspicious meat or produce, right? -  ughh busted, you thought.

y/n: “Street vendor” – you lamented

Kara: “ohh sweetie. You know better than that”- Kara kept her gentle touch but looking a bit disappointed in you.

Alex: “Well baby, I hope the burger was so amazing and worth it, because what you have is food poisoning and most likely due to contaminated ground beef with E. coli. There is nothing to stop it or make it better faster. Your body will get rid of the bacteria during the following days. Simply needs to run its course.”

Y/N: “No cheeseburger in world is worth this pain or disgusting vomiting or explosive diarrhea. I feel like crap Lexie”- you play your Lexi card, so your big sister takes pity on you. You feel bad enough as it is, you don’t need to hear more disappointment from her.

Alex: “I know baby girl. Its quite uncomfortable and painful. You need rest and avoid over exerting, that will only make your stomach feel worse. Kara, I need you to make sure she drinks lots of fluids, she will keep vomiting and having constant bowel movements in the next couple of days and she can get dehydrated very quickly. Lots of water and Pedialyte . Let her stomach to settle first .  Avoid giving her any solid foods until she is no longer nauseous or vomiting as much. Avoid juices or other beverages with a lot of sugar or sweeteners that can make diarrhea worse. Let’s wait for 24 hours like this without any food and after that we can see if you can ease her back into eating soft and bland food. Call me if she gets worse or if the fever is too high.”

Y/N: “not even hungry anyways…”

Kara: “will do Alex, I’m taking off work for the week I’ll let Lena know. She is out of town as well, but I can handle goober just fine. right kiddo?”

You just try to crawl into Kara’s lap you starting to feel cold and so very tired. “Yeah, I’m cold. You warm”

Alex: “She will sleep a lot, wake her up and make her drink water or fluids Kara, its very important. Make sure her temperature doesn’t go above 102 F. if she get above that range just make her take a bath in lukewarm water or use a cold compress. Let her eat ice chips, NO dairy, no caffeine, no sugar, or fatty food. If she does eat those, she will end up throwing up everything. If temperature goes above 103 take her immediately to the ER. It shouldn’t but keep an eye on that. Seriously Kara call me anytime ok?”  

Kara: “Will do Alex. Thanks, and I’ll call you later once y/n is more comfortable and asleep”

Alex: “Ok, feel better sweetie, I’ll be back as soon as I can. Be good for Kara and try to relax and let your body get rid of everything at its own pace. Don’t rush anything. I love you sweetheart. Love you Kara, bye”

Y/N “Bye, love you Lexie”

Kara: “Bye Alex, love you too” – the phone calls gets disconnected. Kara looks down at you. “You think you are ready to move from the bathroom floor to the living room?”

y/n: “can you help me up to rinse my mouth? It tastes like crap ugh”

Kara: “of course. Up we go”- Kara gently stands up with you in her arms and helps you to your feet.

But you get dizzy and grab ahold of Kara’s arms for support

Kara: “hey hey I got you, easy there baby girl”

y/n: “everything its spinning and I don’t feel so g…” but before you can finish the sentence your eyes go wide and Kara see what’s about to happen and helps you to your knees in front of the toilet once again. Kara holds your hair away from your face with her other hand rubbing soothing circles down your spine while providing word of comfort.

You keep vomiting for a few minutes more “ughh I thought I had ridden of everything by now. This Is so disgusting” a few tears leak down your cheeks and Kara just helps you to your feet again and flushes the toilet.

Kara: “I know sweet girl, but Alex did say you will be experiencing vomiting and other stuff for a few days. So, let’s get you rinse your mouth and settle down in the couch so you can sleep this off, okay?”

You just nod and work on getting your teeth brushed and get rid of the nasty taste. Kara helps you to your room to change into your pajamas.

Kara: “Bed or couch?” -you just point down to your bed giving her your answer. “Okay okay” Kara lowers you on your bed and goes to close the curtains so you can rest more comfortably.

y/n: “Hold me?”- you pout pitifully

Kara: “of course baby girl. Let me just get your water and text Lena to let her know I won’t be into work for a few days and also text your boss you’re sick” – I’ll be right back.

y/n:” don’t want water please just hold me, I’m cold sissy”- more tears run down your cheeks, you just want your sister to hold you now.

Kara: “aww chucks, baby you feel real awful don’t ya? Ok here I’ll call later, and you need to drink water in an hour or two. I will wake you up. come here sweet bean”- Kara moves you so you are now lying basically on top of her, you hide your face into her neck and wrap your arms around her. You are leaching on her warmth shamelessly. Kara doesn’t mind at all begins to pat down your back softly like when you were little she needed to calm you down and put to to sleep.

Kara: “Aww my little koala is here. You’re so cuddly baby. I’m sorry you are feeling so poorly but I’ll be here with you all the time. You just close your eyes and go to sleep. You’ll feel better in no time, you’ll see”

y/n: “I’m never eating cheeseburgers again”- you give a yawn and began to drift off. Kara juts chuckles and starts to hum softly a lullaby song she uses since you were a little girl and where having trouble falling asleep or felt sick. You are out in less than 5 minutes.

Kara wait for you to be completely asleep to grab her cellphone she still has on her pocket. Texts Lena you are sick and will call her later, but you are okay just miserable for eating street food. And then sends a quick text to y/n boss, thank Rao she is close friends with y/n otherwise would be a pain to explain why she is texting instead of her employee.

Kara puts the cellphone down on the nightstand and holds y/n more to her chest and begins to run her hand up and down y/n spine and watches her sleep for a little while until herself starts to feel sleepy and decides to take a nap too.

Kara is awaken by your moving around and painful moaning. You curl into yourself as much as you can, trying to wave through the painful cramp in your tummy.

y/n: “It really hurts Kara, it hurts so bad”- you say through clenching teeth and tears sprung into your eyes once again. You feel miserable and in so much pain.  

Kara feels you are getting a bit hotter now and you are sweating too. “Okay little one, I think a bath can help you now, and you need to drink a little bit of water. Come here”

y/n: “No. pelease, no Kara. I just want the pain to stop and sleep again. I don’t want a bath” -you cry softly into her neck

Kara: “I’m sorry baby, but you feel too warm and you will feel better after the bath. I’ll stay with you the whole time.”

Kara picks you up from the bed and takes into the bathroom, she sits you down at the toilet seat while she runs a lukewarm bath for you.

Y/n: “Kara I don’t feel so good…” again you turn green and Kara helps you to sit infront the porcelain bowl once more.

You throw up again, but its mostly bile. Kara holds your hair out of your face while making comforting rubs on your lower back while you continue to be sick. your stomach its already empty from all the previous vomiting and you didn’t really eat anything for breakfast. You feel so weak after the effort it took to vomit once again. You are sweaty and pale and slump into Kara. Kara gently runs a hand down your spine and grabs a small towel to clean off the bile in your lips.

Kara: “sshh …baby come one. Its over now.  Here use this mouth wash to rinse and spit it in the toilet” -Kara then flushes the toilet and strips you off your clothes. She also strips down to her underwear and gets into the tub with you.  She helps you lean into her so she can wash your skin with a soft washcloth and pour the lukewarm water down your body to cool you down. After a while she notices your feel cooler to the touch. Washes your hair gently and lets you lean back onto her. You have always loved the skin to skin contact when feeling sick or unwell. Your sisters have done this many times over the years as well as you mom Eliza. You like feeling their warm skin and listen to their heartbeat. But Kara posses a special feature, she is warmer than any human. You feel her skin on you help you with the chills and you feel yourself drifting off to sleep again.

Kara notices you are almost asleep, and decides you are cool enough now and gently nudges you awake.

Kara: “sweet girl please don’t fall asleep quite yet. Let me dry you off a bit and you need to drink a little bit of water. Then you can sleep again promise”

You grunt in disapproval “Nuh uh … don’t wanna, I just want sleep”

Kara: “ I know sweetie but its not an option, come one”- Kara immediately stands and grabs ahold of you and takes one of the bath robes and uses one on her and then she uses a big fluffy towel to pat you down enough to remove the water excess but leaving your skin a bit damp to help keeping you cool.

She takes you back to your room and sets you on top of the bed and quickly grabs a set of lose shorts and tank top to avoid overheating you.  She then sits you with you back on a pillow resting against the headboard while she speeds to the kitchen to get you ice water.

Kara: “Okay sweetie small sips, just a few smalls sips and that’s it.”- she makes you drink a bit of water and leaves the glass on the nightstand again. You notice she is now wearing a pajamas too and in the nightstand there’s also a bowl with water and a few small towels and an empty plastic bow- “Just in case you feel sick and need to vomit again and avoid a trip to the bathroom”

Y/N:” thank you sissy”- you tear up and your chin trembles.

Kara: “No no don’t cry baby girl. Come here”- she gently lifts you up sits down and then lays you on her side you head resting on her collarbone. She left her soft button- up pajama top mostly open so you can lean into her and feel her skin near the collarbone and upper chest. You settle down and keep listening to her heartbeat.

Kara: “sshh sshh…sweetie just close your eyes and sleep. You’ll feel better soon just sleep now” – once again you feel her gentle touch on your back, down your arms and temple. And that soft voice humming the melody you associate with comfort. you move a little trying to find the perfect spot and just like that in less than 10 minutes you’re asleep.

[ramblinganthropologist]

Fictober 21 - 2 “You have no proof”

I’m not tagging this one. It’s heavy.

Fanfic

Fandom: Inquistion

Summary: Withdrawal is hard. Dealing with that and his feelings is even harder for Owain Trevelyan. He doesn’t feel ready for this kind of thing. But maybe he doesn’t have to be. Maybe he just has to start.

(Warnings: mentions of withdrawal, child abuse, and homophobia.)

---

Another day, another pile of horse shit. Yet, somehow, still better than being a Templar. Life was funny that way.

Owain sighed in relief as he left the stable behind, body sore and mind tired. It had been a long day of taking care of the horses, punctuated by the fact he was actually afraid of them. People tended to forget that. Or maybe they did remember, and this was their way of torturing them. The Inquisitor seemed like a nice guy, so it was more likely than not that nobody had told him. He was going to go with that, because the alternative wasn’t great.

“Right… better go clean off and get something to eat.”

His mind was swimming, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been in weeks prior. He still felt the need in the back of his mind, but today it was more of a whisper than an outright scream. Tomorrow, who knew, but he was going to take his victories where he got them. A day without lyrium was in his book as good as any.

He just wished getting through this didn’t hurt so damn much.

“Alright there, Trevelyan?”

A deep voice made his insides flutter. He felt his face heat as he turned towards the barn. In his griping over the body aches, Owain hadn’t noticed that he had company. Someone was standing in the entrance to the barn, a block of wood in hand.

“Oh… Warden Blackwell.”

The man shook his head as he kept carving. He stopped to watch him, curiosity getting the better of him. Woodwork was always something he had admired as a young man, but he’d never had time to learn. Now he was probably too old for it. Knowing his luck, he’d probably cut one of his fingers off, and there would he be?

Well… not like he needed all 10 to take care of horses, but he’d like to keep them all the same. He had enough problems.

“Just Blackwell is fine.” His knife rasped against the wood again and again. From the looks of things, maybe it was starting to become a bird? “Long day?”

Owain could barely hear him over the pounding of his heart. “Oh… yes. I suppose so. I should be fine after I eat something, though.”

The man’s eyes were on him, studying him. It was hard to breathe then as he wondered just what Blackwell was looking for. Did he suspect him of lapsing on his promise? Most people did… he couldn’t blame them for that.

He just wished this one hadn’t…

“Ask the healer for herbs for the pain.” He kept carving. “Overheard a few ex-recruits talking about it.”

There went his heart again, pounding like crazy. “I will… tomorrow. Right now, I just want food and my bed.”

There was Blackwell’s eyes on him again as he stopped carving. His stomach shifted, and for not the first time in his life he felt guilty for something he hadn’t done. Right then, he was nothing more than a schoolboy being scolded for a mess he hadn’t made.

It was kind of annoying.

He took a breath before he spoke. “I assure you… I have not lapsed.”

“I believe you.” Blackwell kept carving. “Be hard for a stable hand to get lyrium anyway, unless you’re friendly with the mages.”

His carving was turning less bird like by the second. It took Owain a second to realize it was becoming a griffin. Maybe he should’ve realized that one sooner – after all, the man was a Grey Warden. Griffins were kind of their thing.

But…

“That is quite true.” He frowned. “Forgive me if I was short…”

There he went again, apologizing. In those moments, he swore he could feel his father’s hand on him, and it was hard not to wince. Even years later, he found he couldn’t escape it. Maybe he never would be able to – talk about a legacy.

“You were defending yourself.” Blackwell finished carving. “Only natural, I suppose, given the hell you’re going through.”

He held his griffin up to the light. It was a fine thing, at least by Owain’s lack of knowledge, wings spread, and beak bared in what probably would have been a vicious scream if any lived to make a sound. It was a fierce little thing – he would’ve hated to see the full-size version. Or worse… shoveled its shit.

All things considered that probably would’ve been his job…

Much to his surprise, Blackwell left the barn and met him in the yard. Owain blinked back surprise as the griffin was placed into his dirty hands. That close, he could smell the other man – there was sweat there, but also wood and hay.

It… was a nice smell.

“Here. You looked like you could use it.”

And briefly, he smiled. It was a little hard to see with the beard, but he felt it nonetheless. His heart thudded to life once more as he watched the man walk back to the barn. In that moment, he forgot how to breathe as he looked down at his gift.

This was probably the point he should have said thank you, but he wasn’t sure how to work his tongue anymore.

At least he managed to nod his head as he sped off, clutching the carving close to his pounding chest. Owain didn’t slow down until he was all the way back in his room, away from prying eyes and clicking tongues. Then he slid to the floor, back against his door, staring at the little griffin he had placed on the floor.

Blackwell had made it for him.

“Oh, Maker.”

It took him a few moments to rise and make it to the wash basin, but his thoughts were of nothing of the Warden. Even the cold water left from that morning did nothing to dissuade him of images of Blackwell, his smile, his hands… everything.

He was acting like a bloody teenager…

“Get it together, Owain. You’re far too old for this.” He brushed back wet hair from his forehead, sighing as he studied his tired expression in the glass he had hung above it. Lyrium withdrawal had made him lose a bit more weight, and the dark circles under his eyes didn’t help matters. “Best to return to reality, my friend.”

The extra splash of water did nothing to help him other than to wash the stink off, but at least he was clean enough to go get some food without offending people. His griffin soon rested next to the basin, where it would no doubt guard his room while he was away. Then he shut the door behind him to head off.

Naturally, the Great Hall was a mad rush at mealtimes. He threaded among the crowd, keeping his eyes low as he made his plate. The lyrium withdrawal made it hard for him to eat, but he needed to if he wanted strength for tomorrow. At least the ale helped keep things down as he grabbed a mug and started to look for a place to sit. Much to his relief, he found a small spot off to the side. Away from others, he was content to sit.

And as soon as he did, his stomach began to turn.

“Fuck.”

The expletive slipped from between his lips, but thankfully no bile followed. Owain rode the sudden wave of nausea, shutting his eyes tightly. The light made things worse sometimes, he found. At least it would be over soon… and lucky for him, dinner wasn’t strong smelling. He definitely would’ve vomited if so.

Things were going his way for once.

As the nausea subsided, Owain allowed a shaky breath. When nothing came up, another followed. Soon, he could risk opening his eyes. The room was no longer spinning, which meant he definitely could risk trying to eat.

But… maybe a few minutes more, just to be safe.

“Now, now, it’s not polite to swear.”

A voice from off to the side drew his attention. He cocked an eyebrow at spotting a man dressed all in black, his face a grinning skull. Ian was doing better those days as well, though he still needed to put on a bit more weight. His robes were at least not hanging as loose as they had been.

Though, it didn’t explain why he was there…

“Can I…” His eyes widened as he realized there was another standing next to him, a woman in a long dress with a cloth wrapped around his forehead. “Oh… Aeronwen.”

His sister nodded stiffly. “Owain.”

The shock ran through him as they both sat across from him, placing their plates down. He was numb in the moment as all thoughts shut down. If either noticed, they didn’t care. They were too focused on eating.

Why now? And with him?

Ian answered that for him as he sipped from his mug, beaming in a none-too-friendly way. “So… I saw you getting awfully chummy with the Warden in the yard. Didn’t think you were into the big and hairy type.”

Owain’s heart stopped, and his mind reeled. “I… no you don’t…”

Aeronwen shook her head as she put down her fork. “We know you prefer men, Owain. So does Ian.”

“And Aery’s a big ol’ lesbian, so we’re the death of the Trevelyan line!” Ian laughed cheerfully, practically throwing his head back. “Well, besides any older siblings that had children… I guess that’s a fly in the butter.”

His heart was still struggling to start back up as he took in the information. On the bright side, he definitely wasn’t nauseous anymore. Downside… everything else. This definitely wasn’t a conversation he had been planning… well, ever. But it was happening, and he couldn’t exactly escape.

Fuck his need to be polite…

Ian seized upon his stunned silence and leaned in, grinning. “So… you and the Warden…”

His face heated as he glanced to the side. “I have no idea what you speak of Ian. We work in similar spaces and have chance to speak.”

And… sometimes he got presents…

“Looking like more than just speaking to me.” Aeronwen took a sip of her ale, grimacing. “Ugh, who brewed this, it tastes like rotten dirt.”

Her cousin chuckled. “Good to see you’re still an ale snob, Aery. It does my dark little heart good to hear you complain.”

“The stuff I make is miles better.” Her eyes were back on him, however. “But we’re getting off the subject. About your crush on the Warden…”

Another pang of panic shot through Owain’s system. Them knowing his attractions was one thing… implying he had feelings for Blackwell was another matter entirely. Maybe that was why he quickly rose to his feet, almost knocking his mug over in the process.

“I don’t…” he took a shaky breath to steady himself and his shaking hands. After that, it was a sip of ale to help his dry mouth. How it tasted like dirt, h had no clue – it didn’t matter then as he put it down with a still trembling hand. “You have no proof.”

Ian and Aeronwen exchanged looks, neither saying anything. It was impossible to tell what either was thinking then. However, he sank back down in his seat regardless. Shame was squirming in his stomach for so many things right then, he just couldn’t pick one.

On the bright side… no nausea?

“It’s not a big deal, you know. He seems interested.” Ian took a hearty sip from his mug. “Might as well go for it. Once you come off the lyrium withdrawal you’re going to be horny as fuck anyway.”

“Gross.”

“What, I heard an ex-recruit talk about it.”

None of their conversation registered with Owain. He was too busy staring blankly down at his plate, unable to think. Too many thoughts were racing through his mind; he couldn’t even think to grab one and settle on it as he wordlessly ate, mostly on instinct. If the pair noticed, they didn’t say anything.

In the end, he finished long before they did. Wordlessly, he got up from the table. Before long, he was leaving the hall. Right then, all he wanted was to find his bed and stay there until things made sense again. He would even take the aches in his body over this.

Fuck…

Maybe due to his inability to focus, he missed the sudden weight on his shoulders. Then it left him. He blinked and realized that someone was standing in front of him. Paper crinkled as they unwrapped a chocolate and popped it into their mouth, eyes glowing in the torchlight.

Jackel Lavellan. Just who he didn’t need.

“You should probably work on that whole shame thing. It’s going to cost you a chance at a good relationship.” She swallowed. “That, and all the work I did. It wasn’t easy getting you from creepy templar to mostly normal.”

He winced at the memory. “I thank you for the help but…”

The words died in his throat. A thousand things he could’ve said, but he just couldn’t get them out. In the end, he settled on silence. It was an old strategy, one he had mastered as a child. Once again, it was helping him.

How were they all so… casual about it?

Jackel nudged him forward – he moved without thinking. “He likes you. It’s why he made the griffin for you.”

Maybe if this had been a month prior, Owain would have been surprised. However, time and experience had taught him the elf knew everything hidden in Skyhold. For all he knew, she had been watching from a tree. She did that a lot – made it easier to jump on people.

Again, he would know – she had knocked him down a few times.

“I…”

He frowned. “I do not think I know what to do about any of this.”

The elf gave him a nudge forward; maybe on someone else it would have been a shove. Lucky for him, she was tiny. “Stop thinking about it with the big head and go with the little one. See where that leads you.”

Humorless laughter bubbled from his lips as Owain shook his head. “I can only see it leading to disaster.”

Where else could it lead? Even if it wasn’t Blackwell, it wasn’t like he had… experience… in these matters. The other man would expect him to know things he had no idea about. Just thinking about it made his stomach squirm, and the nausea returned.

Just the time to feel sick.

“Well, I don’t. And I know more than you.” She elbowed him in the side. “So, trust me and get that Warden already. He’s practically pining. It’s rude to make him wait.”

It was also rude to presume things… but Owain’s mind traveled back to the smile and the griffin resting in his room. Just thinking about them made his heart feel warm in a way he didn’t often allow. As much as it scared him, he wanted more. Right then, he wanted it more than his next breath.

But… to actually ask…

Jackel shoved him forward again. “Just do it. You don’t have to jump his bones on day 1 even, just get it going. Mythal’s tits, you’re slow.”

Get it going.

“I… think I could do that.”

She nodded at him, clearly pleased. “Good. And don’t forget to take a bath before you fuck. You don’t want to smell like horse shit. I doubt even he’s into that.”

Her bluntness brought the color to his cheeks, but at least he managed a nod. While the dark feelings still swarmed in his stomach, there was still the warmth that refused to leave even as they swarmed.

Maybe… he would stop by the barn. Just to talk. Nothing too serious yet. Just… starting things. If there was anything to start.

That thought may have been quiet, but something about it echoed through Owain’s body. For the first time in what felt like ages, his step was lighter as he started to walk again. While a weight still weighed him down, it was easier – almost manageable. Maybe with time, he would be free of it.

But… at least he was starting. And that was something. One small step was all it took to start, after all. Where it would take him, Owain wasn’t sure. All he knew was that it was in a new direction, one completely off the path planned for him. A step he had decided all on his own, tiny as it was.

He could get used to this sort of freedom. Now… what the hell was he going to say? They hadn’t exactly covered flirting with another man in etiquette lessons…

[giorno-plays-piano]

The Pretender Next Door Part 2 Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader  Warning: Swearing.  Summary: Lying is despicable, but nothing beats the humiliation of pretending you have a lovely boyfriend when, in fact, you have none. Could your handsome neighbor help you, though?  Words: 2138.  Part 1 _____________________________________ It went better you thought it would. Your colleagues were mostly friendly and open, your work environment seemed both interesting and challenging enough, and living in the new apartment was comfortable and pretty peaceful. Well, that man from the 5th floor was singing songs from Bridget Jones Diary on Friday mornings really loudly, but you were an early bird, so you didn’t care, truly. You hadn’t seen Steve much, though it was more an advantage rather than not. He wasn’t bringing any girls into his apartment, and it really bothered you. Worse, he wasn’t bringing any boys either. Your last hope was that Steve belonged to some kind of swingers club or something and had orgies in a different place.

Swingers club? Damn, girl. This man was making you crazy.

You did your best to forget about that perfection of a man living next door. You needed to build your life from scratch in this mad city of New York, and having relationships now was not on your list. In fact, it had never been.

One busy month had already passed when you got a chance to talk to Steve again. You were stepping inside the elevator, tired after work. Next week you were organizing a big holiday party for employees, and things were going more and more stressful with each day. It turned out that way more people had allergies they didn’t state previously, most of them new employees like you, and you had to adjust the menu; then that band your VP of Marketing wanted to have suddenly asked more money than you discussed before, and…

Well, event planning was always like that. Why complaining now when you spend all those years in college and then decided to move to NY? It was predictable. What was unpredictable was you lying to your married colleagues that you had a boyfriend. Why on Earth did you say that? Yes, it was a bit embarrassing to be the only woman who wasn’t in a relationship, but did you ultimately have to lie about it? It was so stupid and childish. Surely, there were more than one single woman in New York.

Anyway, you had a bottle of white wine and Netflix movies waiting for you at home. You would deal with everything else later, including your imaginary boyfriend.

“Wait, please!”

You snapped out of your thoughts and immediately pressed a button to leave the doors open, and the next second Steve almost flew inside the elevator. Oh, was he just in front of you and you hadn’t seen him again? Seriously, you needed to put yourself together.

“Hello.” You smiled a bit shyly and pressed another button to get the elevator moving.

He looked as handsome as always in his dark blue jacket and… oh God, he could wear nothing at all and still looked like a prince. No clothes at all would be far more preferable…

“Hello.” His glowing smile made it hard to keep your eyes off his face.

Nonono, just stop staring and keep your eyes down. You had enough things on your plate already, there was no place left for a giant sun named Steve Rogers who would indeed burn you to ashes the same second you decide to come closer.

“So, are we going the same floor?” He suddenly asked. Wait, did he forget you literally lived next door?

“Um, yes.”

Steve scratched the back of his head; for a few seconds he seemed lost in thought. You decided to drop it. Maybe he had a bad memory or something.

“Oh, I get it, you probably visiting my new neighbor.” He just grinned through those perfectly white teeth.

What? Did he already forget he spent at least half an hour in your hallway repairing your bookshelf? Just how bad was his memory if he didn’t recognize your face, for God’s sake? Well, anyway, if you wanted him to have a flaw, you had to be happy he got one. Better than being a secret swinger, wasn’t it?

“Actually, I am your new neighbor.” You let out an awkward laugh and stared at your pretty kitten heels shoes you bought before leaving Key West. Why were you upset? You just thought about not getting into relationship with anyone. Besides, you doubted you had a chance to date Steve Rogers even if New York’s female population would be five times smaller its actual size.

Lost in your thoughts again, you missed his immediate change of expression, his face completely red with embarrassment and shame.

“God, I’m an idiot with a fish’s memory span.” He groaned and looked somewhere up, shutting his eyes for a few seconds. “I’m so sorry! I mean, of course I remember you, Y/N, it just, ugh, you know… you just look a bit different and… Jesus Christ, I’m gonna say something stupid again, aren’t I?.. Just, ugh, sorry.”

With the guilt all over his pretty face he reminded you of a puppy who ate someone’s shoe, and you chuckled. It wasn’t as bad as you though, he still remembered your name. It was true you were different comparing to the day he met you – you were wearing way more makeup, including bright lipstick, to look older for your colleagues who were in their 40s and 50s. You also had a nice New Look black dress, and your hair were curled. Although you did not expect to look so different to others, maybe Steve simply didn’t take a closer look at your face that time?

And you could still take it as his flaw. Not bad enough, but still something!

“Don’t worry, you only saw me two times in your life.” You laughed it off and stepped out of the elevator once the doors were open. “Now if you see here a grumpy old woman with Ikea bags please remember the way I looked today.”

Steve followed you into a narrow corridor and burst out laughing, his face slowly losing its funny redness. You suspected he still felt kind of guilty, but he tried to keep it cool when you bid him goodbye and entered your apartment.

Thinking of any other possible flaws he might have, you took off your shoes and threw you bag on the comfy grey sofa in the middle of the room. You were finally home. Now you could change into your favorite blue pyjamas and fluffy slippers, take off your makeup and have some good time watching your favorite romcoms. Although you didn’t have anything for dinner, you could easily order something like a nice pizza or lasagna from that family-owned pizzeria around the corner.

The next hour you spent in a tub, washing away your worries. One was still there though: what were you supposed to do with your imaginary boyfriend? Your biggest issue was that your colleagues asked you to bring him to the party. Of course, they thought it was a nice gesture since they often brought their own husbands and boyfriends, but now they just made your life way more difficult. Even if you could say your boyfriend got sick or something at the day of the event, what then? Thankfully, no one demanded to see your photos yet, but they could. And they might ask you to bring him to dinners they had altogether sometimes, and God knows what else.

You were stupid enough to make up some super romantic story about a perfect guy any girl would like to date. It was embarrassing to think of it now, but you definitely got affected by the marriage stories of your colleagues who spent the whole lunch hour talking about their lovely husbands. Your problem was you tried to fit in too much.

Well, you probably had to come up with something about breaking up once you moved to NY. Funny, because your “boyfriend” was living here and waiting for you for a year to come over and transform your long-distance relationships into something bigger. Hell, you even said you might marry him. Why were you so careless? Why did your colleagues’ opinions matter so much?

You sighed, putting on an old black hoodie. You were hopeless.

Then you heard the doorbell rang and frowned. You were not expecting anyone since you didn’t order your pizza yet.

You hurried to the door in your slippers and put your hair into a ponytail on the way. It was around 8 pm. Who could it be? Did someone just mistake your apartment for someone’s else? You knew your aunt wasn’t coming without telling you first, and no one else knew where you moved to.

But you opened the door, and you found glowing Steve there with a plate in his hands. You were so stunned you just kept standing there until you heard him snicker. Wait, what? Steve? Did he need to borrow anything? Why was he here?

“H-hi Steve. Please, come in.” You stepped back awkwardly to let him go inside and saw him smiling even wider once he spotted your fluffy blue slippers. Could it get even more humiliating than that?

“Hi there. I’ve actually come to apologize properly for the… well, you know.” He almost looked like he was blushing a bit. “And I brought you a lemon pie. Although I baked it myself, I swear it’s not poisonous!”

Great, your absolutely perfect blue-eyed neighbor with blond hair and a winning smile was so nice he brought you a homemade pie. Girl, you were losing it. Maybe he was a serial killer instead of a swinger? It would make sense, indeed. Maybe it wasn’t wise touching this pie? Damn, you hoped he tried to kill you instead of just being nice, because Steve was clearly out of this world.

“I mean… not like baked it the way my mother did… more like googling an easy recipe online and putting everything I found into an instant pot…”

You were ready to slap yourself when you saw Steve fidgeting nervously in the hallway. You had to keep your lovely neighbor out of your mind.

“Thank you so much.” Taking the plate from his huge warm hands you felt your body temperature rising. “But you didn’t have to do that. There’s nothing to be sorry about!”

“No, I was being stupid and…”

“Well, whatever. Just come here and share this pie with me so I can check if it’s poisonous or not.” You tried your best to make a joke out of it and laughed, nodding towards the kitchen. “I can make either tea or coffee. What would you prefer? Um, if you’d like to stay, of course.”

“Only if you don’t mind the guy who couldn’t recognise his own neighbor.”

You spent the next hour chatting about anything and everything. Even though you had never been talkative with people you barely knew, Steve had seemed so trustworthy and friendly you were not able to stop. He talked a lot too, telling you more about himself, claiming he was “just a kid from Brooklyn.” He didn’t finish his university degree because of some financial issues and was now working in an auto repair shop. He still wanted to return to engineering, though, but the only jobs he was offered were some unpaid internships and things like that. And he also played guitar. And he had just finished renovating his own apartment.

The only flaw you found was his issue with keeping the rooms clean as he was overly impressed with your place and how tidy it was. Well, it was something.

Then you had somehow told him about your work, new company, colleagues, the event, and… and that imaginary boyfriend of yours. When you realized you complained about your silly lies, it was already late. Steve was biting his lips not to laugh. Oh, great. Now he was thinking how pitiful you were, pretending to have someone in order to gain some respect from your new coworkers. What kind of girl would say these things to a man like him? You were clearly out of your mind. The only good thing about it was that Steve would probably walk out of your apartment and never come back again.

“Please don’t think I’m laughing at you. It’s… a bit funny, I mean, that you think there’s nothing you could do with your issue.” He grinned at you, almost pouting like a little baby. “Think of it, you just need to ask some guy you know to pretend he’s your boyfriend. Ask him to come with you to this holiday event, and then some time later you can say you broke up with him.”

For a minute you fell silent, staring at the guy in front of you with wide eyes.

“Wait, but I don’t know anyone here. I can’t merely go to anyone on the street and ask him to do this for me, right?”

“Well, for starters, you know me.”

[sgt-morgan]

Lucky Kentucky ch. 2

Chapter 1

Hello there, welcome back to my Rockstar!Bucky x Reader fic. It was heavily inspired by my love of seventies mega rockstars, Almost Famous, Classic Rock, and a little bit of personal whimsy. I hope you enjoy, and read responsibly.

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ : cussing, sexy times, drugs, booze, smoking, objectification, fornication, liberation, and a litany of other sordid topics and traumas.

“HEY! NOBODY FUCKING MOVE!” To say that the last thing you needed was a missing rockstar, was a drastic understatement, and a testament to your unending will.

“Where in the good sweet name of Jesus is that dick head?” You fumed stomping towards the rest of the band.

“Your guess is as good as ours sweetheart, we got nothing. No phone calls, no texts, no nothing.” Shrugged Steve Rodgers, guitarist and all around good guy. “If I knew that all the time, I think I’d be a millionaire.”

You sighed and looked around you at the fleet of your busses and equipment trucks, and you could have sworn that you were ready to kill that asshole with your bare hands. “Well hot stuff? He better show up quickly, or so help me God he will be sleeping in a tour bus with the newest, dweebiest, roadies I can find. Do you know how bad new roadie busses smell? He will if he dosent get his ass here by the time the last piece of your stage equipment is packed.”

“I think you should land his ass there anyway, to give him time to think about what he’s done.” Sam shrugs, Clint vehemently nodding his support as he wrangles one of his two delightful children. “I think his punsishmet should fit his crimes personally.”

“Oh yeah! I think that’s a great idea! Or, he could stay with Laura and I on our bus, I’m sure the whining infant won’t keep him up all night, He’s gonna love it!” Clint nods, “We have a rule, no booze, broads, or bud around the kids! He’ll dry out quick!”

“No Clint, no worries at all. He won’t sleep or get laid on the roadie bus,” you laugh, “he’ll be surrounded by filth, and endless questions, and gawking. He won’t get the back room either, I’ll give him a bunk. Frankie will be on his bus, that way he never gets away with anything. No escape artists on my watch!” You wink, plucking his oldest, Cooper off his back and wrestling him into a head lock.

“Oof, devious as always.” Natasha laughs nodding and throwing her arm around you. “I remember when I got on your bad side, wasn’t worth the never ending week of publicity with no coffee. That was the strictest ban I’ve ever dealt with for sure.”

“Someone start calling his ass.” You laugh pulling away from Tasha and waking towards Peter to get a rundown on the status of loading up.

“Oh captain, my captain!” Peter saluted, about nine or ten roadies following in his lead while the rest just stood gawking as if they had never seen a woman before. “We are about twenty minutes from setting sail, I have my men sorted into busses and vans, Frankies bus has one extra bed open as per request, and, as our lady of perpetual mystery might be interested to hear, we have a new crew of over eager security team members stocked to the brim on Frankies bus, even worse than the roadies. Is everything ship shape?”

“At ease Parker,” you giggle, shoving him out of his stiff rehearsed stance, “indeed we are ship shape, now if only our little diva Jr. would show face, we could be on our way.” Just as you were finishing that sentence, a car pulled up, and out stumbled the man of the hour, James Barnes.

James Buchanan Barnes was drunk. Inibriated, intoxicated, off his ass, pissed, blitzed, sloshed, ranked, hammered, wrecked, out for the count, drunk. He stumbles out of the Uber, bottle in hand, but at least he was dressed. He stumbled over to the rest of the group, he had a duffel bag, wether it was packed with anything useful is up in the air, you’d make sure you’d get your hands on it and ensure that it had what he needed. Wanda could take care of filling in the gaps. You have now decided that there is no escape from Frankie for him. You’d have to put someone on the bus. You don’t know who yet, but someone. Maybe Quill? Whoever it was, needed to get along with Sam and Steve. Thor, he would work nicely. You’d see to it that Frankie had him moved. Now there was the Liquor problem. This was a decision every road manager has to dread. As any good rockstar could tell you, you have to be stone sober or completely fucked to perform a good show, you just had to decide what would or wouldn’t ruin the band... or him. So, sober it was. No use dragging it on any longer.

“JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES!”

—————————————————————————

Any man alive knew that sound was trouble. No woman used the full Government name if you were in good standings. That was just facts. However, drunk thoughts beget sober truths and the truth is, that was incredibly sexy. When he turned hands raised in surrender whiskey bottle and duffle abandoned he was greeted to the glorious sight of her. Kentucky, dressed in leggings and a ripped up old band tee that he could faintly register belonged to Led Zepplin. Her hair piled up on her head shining in the sunlight her curves begging to be expl-

*whack*

Well, that will sober you up quick.

“Hey dickhead, so glad you could make it!” Sam, not looking too thrilled despite his statement of glad tidings gave him a smile he could only describe as cat catching canary. “I think Lucky needs to see you. Loose the doe eyes, it’s getting creepy.”

“Yeah buddy, I can catch on pretty quick.” He fumbled for what to say, and settled on “Bluegrass, doll, you look stunning this fine morning. Care for a swig of Kentucky’s finest?” He slurred, She sauntered up to him and he could swear he felt the magic, until she snatched the bottle and promptly tipped it out onto the ground. “Hey, woah! Easy there Kentucky, that was a bottle of Kentucky’s finest! that was a bottle of Eagle Rare!”

“No James, your looking at Kentucky’s finest, and you should know that I’m better than all the barrels in Frankfort. Buffalo Trace has nothing on me. Now, since you came in all washed up and wandering right smack dab before the deadline, I’m gonna be merciful, but the next time you pull this shit? Theres a bunk in Frankies bus with the minors that has your name on it. Are we clear? Brooklyn?” She had the empty bottle in her fist, her other arm draped under her breasts and she was jabbing him in the chest. He had never been more frightened and turned on in his entire life.

“Reading you loud and clear KY, I got the message.” He nodded backing away slightly.

“Good!” She smiled turning into an entirely different woman. One with sunshine and laughter in her soul, her perverbial horns retracting. She snatched his sunglasses right off of his aching eyes, and placed them on her face. Low blow, but not entirely unexpected. “Now that the princess is here, load up and let’s roll! First pit stop is in Vegas, so we got a lot of ground to cover!” She stuffed his empty bottle and his duffle back into his hands, and headed for her bus, he just caught the conversation as the Barton family began to load up watching her go by.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, Lila?” Clint said helping his little girl put her little pink hello kitty duffle under the bus.

“Is Uncle Bucky in trouble?” She asked innocently looking back at Bucky, who gave her a little wave.

Clint turned to face him, chucking as he met his gaze, “Oh yeah honey, lots and lots of it.”

—————————————————————————

You loaded yourself onto the administrative bus, plopping yourself into the little booth right at the front near the head bus driver, Phil Colson.

“Hello Phil!” You smiled, opening your laptop and checking on your hotel reservation. The kind bus driver smiled and started up the bus. Next on we’re your bunk mates, Wanda, Vision, Bruce, and Peter. That left two bunks open for Tony and Pepper for when they joined you on the occasion.

“Well, I can proudly announce that Barnes’ military training has not gone to waste, even sloppy drunk he knows how to pack his essentials!” Wanda’s beautiful soothing voice waltzes its way into your ears as she and Vision loaded themselves onto the bus. “He’s got his tooth brush and everything! It’s a miracle!”

You nodded at that eyes still focused on checking your route’s traffic and totaling how much it would cost you for a late check in if nessicary. “Good, he can be a functioning adult when he wants to be!”

“The widows are settled onto their bus, everyone’s got what they need. Carol said she could do with some more angry Lucky, she missed you apparently” Bruce sighed plopping down next to you silently checking over your figures.

“I’ve got everything packed so that it should only take the lighting crew and I two hours to shore up, which puts my productivity up by 30%” Vision shrugged putting his arm back around his beautiful wife.

“And I can move heavy things and take good photos. Also, I fixed that stage piece you were worried about and it is no longer does the rocky thingy.” Peter grinned giving you finger guns.

“Ugh, I love the sound of efficiency!” You sigh, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear as you throw your stuff in the bunk closest to the shower. “Thank you all for agreeing to take this on with me, I wanted you because you’re my A-team, and I knew that I couldn’t do this without you... plus I knew it would look fantastic on your resumes.” The crew in your bus gave a here here for that statement.

“So, Barnes. How do you plan to tackle that battle?” Peter said plopping down on top of Wanda and Vision as if they were just two decorative pillows. “He’s gotta strong will and a heady brooding nature, rough shit I tell yah.”

“Not to mention the fact that he’s incredibly handsome,” Wanda said pushing Peter to the floor, “We know you’re a pushover for that type!”

“Well lady and gentlemen, I plan to kick his ass into shape. Good looks and broody behavior be damned!” You huff.

“I may point out, that is not exactly a plan darling.” Vision says sympathetically patting you on the head as he carries his and Wanda’s things to the back of the bus.

“Well Viz, darling I am well aware of that. I have a plan. He’s gonna have to sober up. This behavior isn’t normal for him, his band mates and Tony have made that clear, he’s on the string for some girl that couldn’t have given less of a shit about him, so he’s all fucked in the head. MY job, is going to be reminding him he’s a goddamn rock star, who doesn’t need a bitch like that to make him happy!” You gesticulate as you unpack the supplies you’d need for a shower. “Then, all should be well with the world again, and I can go back to managing tours that don’t make me want to kill myself.”

——————————————————————————

“Say Stevie, that uh, that Kentucky sure is one tough dame right?” Bucky say’s as he charges shirts, “gotta lot of spunk?”

“Yeah Buck, she’s a real hot head when she wants to be, but she’s fantastic at this. I’ve not seen a better organized tour in my life!” He hears his best friend laugh from the front.

“Not to mention,” Sam started from his position on the couch, “she’s one hot mama, veeeeeery fine. You can tell she knows it too. I wonder if she likes dark chocolate, I think I should find out.”

Bucky felt anger deep in his gut at Sam’s teasing, but for the life of him he can’t figure out why. He dosent need another relationship, hell, dosent want one. That only leads to broken hearts and empty bottles... broken hearts and empty bottles... a little cliche but he could make it work. He’d write it down later. Right now, his sole purpose was intel. Gathering as much info on Kentucky as he could.

“Gotta make sure she’s not already tied up Sammy boy!” He laughed, “besides, I think she likes Seargents.” He winked.

“Well if it’s information on the lady Kentucky you want, I’ve got you covered.” The big braun-y security guy Thor chuckled, “she’s single as it comes, bad break up with some hot douche bag in some other band. Wasn’t pretty that breakup, I tell yah. Frankie and I had to beat the guys face in to get him off her door step, she started road managing in order to get away from him, being constantly on the move made her a moving target, it worked better that way.”

“Sheesh, any ideas on that band name? I’d hate to bump into them sometime.” Bucky shook his head, “she sounds like a tough lady.”

“Oh she is,” Thor chuckled, “got some rough and tumble to her, she’s good at what she does. Hydra? I think that’s the name at least.”

“Sheesh,” Steve muttered, “She messes around with hard hitters huh? Hydra is huge on the pop punk charts, they’re not topping out on the hot 100 or anything, but they pull a decent crowd for sure.”

“Yeah, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard stories about them being absolute dicks either,” said Sam, “poor thing. I hate that for her.”

“She’s a good lady, really, she’s always so kind, goes out of her way to learn names and remember important dates, never afraid to pitch in where she’s needed. You guys are lucky to have her for this tour.” Thor nods, putting his things away and laying down in his bunk.

“Yeah, very lucky.” Bucky nods, daydreaming about a woman he just met. This was gonna be a long tour.

——————————————————————————

Their first stop was in Nevada. Los Vegas, baby. The first show of the tour was at the colosseum at Ceaser’s palace. This meant discounted hotel rooms, larger merch sales, and quite a bit of press was involved, but you were ready to take on the challenge. You arrived in Los Vegas around 6am, all of the bands stumbling off their respective busses and making their way towards the resteraunts in the hotel. You and Bruce headed off to snag hotel keys, and settle the bands into place. Wanda, Vis, and Peter, headed with the rest of the crew and the equipment trucks to the Venue for set up.

“Alright Bruce, you get the Widows settled in their rooms, I’ll take care of the boys. Tell the girls their press is at 10 and their rehearsal will be at noon, they are to be at the venue no later than 9:15. They will arrive and go straight to Wanda, who has outfit options, and makeup. They have a lunch break at 2:00, and they need to be at the venue by 5:00 for their sound check at 5:30, curtain is at 7:30.” You rattled off handing Bruce back stage passes and a few printed copies of tonight’s schedule. “I’ll meet you outside in twenty to send the busses to the venue.” Bruce gave you a tiny salute and you wandered off to find the Commandos. You found them sitting in a resteraunt, a waiter bringing them their drinks. You noticed Bucky had a screwdriver, now that just wouldn’t do. You snatched the glass from him right as the waiter was about to put it in his hand, slamming it back in one go.

“Woohoo! Good morning Kentucky!” Clint laughed clapping with Steve and Sam, who were pointing at a dumb struck Bucky.

“Damn, sugar! I didn’t know you had it in you this early!” Sam laughed.

“We,” you said gesturing between Bucky and yourself, “will take water and a coffee.” You said to the waiter with a wink. “Good morning boys! We’re in for a good one today! Starting off at the colosseum is a great first gig! Now I hate to be a downer, but unfortunately, I gotta lay down the law. This tour will have a no show day drinking policy. Zero tolerance, breaking this rule leads to a prohibition to the breakers caffeine supply, and lands you in a bunk in Frankies bus with the newbies. The only exceptions are exactly one pre show shot and or beer for last minute jitters, or a celebratory toast. Any other hard day drinking will lead to repricutions. Rule number two, I run a right ship, I do not appreciate tardiness. I went easy on you the first day, but here on in, if you are late by more than ten minutes, I will assume you’re dead and send the cops to come find you. Very loud, very messy, and definitely will make the news. So, do I make myself clear?” You looked around and met their gazes everyone seemed to be okay with these rules, except Bucky.

“What the hell lucky? Am I some kinda child or something? No drinking? No tardiness? Am I a high schooler? Jesus, you gotta pair on you if you think that I, a grown ass man would ev-“ your food came about five words into his little tirade, and as soon as the waiter left your food, you shoved a roll in Bucky’s mouth.

“Stuff it Brooklyn, we wouldn’t fuckin NEED these rules if you could get your ass together for five minutes to see what you’re doing! Your drunkenness has made you sloppy, you’re late on your due dates, your waisting Tony’s time and money on your pouty bullshit, and your friends are worried about you. So yes, we’re gonna have rules, they will have consequences, and I’ll beat your ass myself if you show the inability to get it together!” You rant jabbing your finger into his chest to get your point across. “Now, eat your waffles, here’s your schedules, and if you are not showered and decently dressed at the colosseum by 10 am sharp, so help me God I’ll call the cops.” With that you gathered your coffe and your purse and stalked away. Handing Steve they’re schedules, passes, and hotel keys as you went. It was gonna be a long night, you could feel it.

“Did anyone else find that extremely sexy?” Sam asked, and by god Bucky couldn’t help it, he nodded in agreement.

—————————————————————————

Steve and Bucky followed eachother up to their floor of the hotel, crew, secrity, and bands took up the entire fifth floor. Later tonight, when everyone actually got to unload after the show, It would be a real party, people leaving their doors open, coolers of beer, goods and services being exchanged, instruments and duffle bags and food being passed from room to room, it was Bucky’s personal favorite part of the evening.

Right now, it was sad and empty. So, he showered, and he went to sleep. At approximately 10:15 am, Bucky was rudely awakened by a pounding on his door. He looked at the time and he jumped to his feet so fast he almost broke his neck tripping on his sheets. Kentucky was gonna kill him. He just hoped to God whoever was outside his door didn’t drag him out of the hotel in handcuffs.

“Ok Bucky, time to shine!” He muttered to himself and threw open the door. Outside was quite possibly the largest man he’s ever seen, and he was no pipsqueak himself, he towered over bucky by at least a foot, and his biceps were roughly the size of his head. “Hello there, seeing as you’re not in a police uniform, you must be Frankie.” The big man grunted his assent. “Ok then, may we g-“

“Listen here pretty boy, I don’t care if your famous, you hurt Kentucky? I hurt you. Understood?” His voice felt like a blast of attic wind. It made Bucky shiver. Where was this coming from? How would he hurt Kentucky, it’s not like she would ever date him, he couldn’t even get a woman to Mary him, let alone bag an absolute catch like Lucky.

“Yes sir, won’t happen again.” Bucky saluted like he was still in the service then realized what he was doing and always my scratched his head. “Can we?” He pointed at the door, hoping against all odds to escape this absolute shit show of a conversation.

“By the way kid? You’re lucky she didn’t send the cops.”

——————————————————————————

At the colosseum, Y/N was pracitcaply putting a hole in the rug of their dressing rooms, while the various other band mates who bothered to show up on time, sat there bored out of their minds.

“I’m gonna kill him,” you muttered, biting at your bottom lip.

“No your not mama,” Natasha laughed from the couch, “You think he’s sexy, you don’t burn fine art.”

“Dammit, you’re right.” You sighed throwing your hands in the air and plopping dow on top of her and Peggy who were sitting next to eachother looking at dress designs Wanda sent them for SNL next month.

“I like the black one Nat, the red detailing is classy and fun.” You mutter, Peggy nods in agreement.

“I like Wanda’s idea of us all having black dresses with different colors, we could do it 1950’s style and put our hair up? I think it would look really cool. Fits the vibe of our song choice.” Peggy says casually flipping through the designs.

“Carol and I respectfully request to wear suits if that’s ok?” MJ pipes up, “I think two and two will look cool.” She shrugs, I’ll do the regular hair and makeup though.”

“Can I get a broad brim mobster hat?” Carol asks popping up from her place on the floor beside MJ’s chair.

“Yes, I like this idea. SNL will like it too I bet.” Wanda nodded. “If they let Megan and Billie do what they want, I’m guessing your performance will be just as accepted. That and it can be in black and white. Rami Malik is also the perfect host for that. I’ll pitch it to their team.”

“How about you boys, any ideas? You’re the week after.” Wanda said looking towards the Comandos who had already made it.

“I like the Jailhouse rock Idea! I think we sh-” Just then, Frankie walked in holding James by the collar.

“Put him down Frankie,” you sigh “he’s an ass, but we need him.” After Frankie let him go, he brushed himself off and grinned at you sheepishly. “You better have a damn good explanation for this.” You grind out.

“Over slept?”

“Im gonna kill him”

——————————————————————————

All in all, the show went off without a hitch, the bands both sailed through their songs beautifully, and earned themselves an encore. However, on the last encore of the night, Bucky made things a little more interesting.

“This last one, goes out for a little special someone!” When he said that, you could swear he winked at you.

“Hey hey mama said the way you move” when he held out that move? You could feel your soul shake. He was going it slow, taking the opening slow to really get the crowd worked up. It was like he was expressly trying to lock eyes with you, seat his irises into your soul. “Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove.” Then when the first two lines were done and they kicked into tempo, you remembered where you were, what you were doing, and you let the song echo behind you, as you went to help Wanda pack up the dressing room.

What was that look? What game was he playing at? He couldn’t want to mess around with you, you were a nobody. He was James Barnes, lead singer of one of the biggest bands of the decade, he had no interest in you. You were a road manager, a stick in the mud, a hard headed know it all. He dosent know a thing about you and dosent want you. You were just getting caught up in the music right?

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.23

Keith had been had. Lance had slipped out of talking to him by making him flustered, then they’d put a totally dumb movie on... and the stupid night had slipped away before he knew what was happening. Lance was infuriatingly relaxed. He’d laughed at the big pieces of garlic on the pizza, complimented him for not being a bad first timer in a weird way that made Keith’s heart go weird, then started making fun of the horror comedy they were watching. There was some name for the genre that Lance had used, it wasn’t comor, or hormedy, but it was something as equally stupid sounding. After half a dozen drinks it’d sounded good enough to laugh at. Now Keith was laying in bed, hiding himself away from Lance. He’d been aiming to get Lance’s guard down, not his own... What even was last night? And what the heck was Lance doing making so much noise too early in the morning? How was he supposed to ignore his existence when Lance sounded like he was demolishing the house? What happened to getting up and sneaking into his office for his morning meal? And why was keith trying to do the brain without the coffee? He couldn’t brain without the coffee.

Shuffling into the kitchen, Keith grimaced at the noise. Hunk was talking a million miles an hour as he blended something, Pidge sitting at the kitchen table with her knees up and laptop in front of her

“Hey, man! I’m making breakfast smoothies! Do you want one?!”

Yelling over the blender, Hunk’s stupid face was smiling too much... that was mean. Hunk was alright, but too much smile in the morning was weird

“Coffee...”

Lance was already working the coffee machine, Keith frowning as he noticed the way Lance’s hands were shaking

“Way ahead of you. Sit down and I’ll bring a cup over. Don’t disturb the gremlin, she’s extra cranky this morning”

Keith was perfectly fine avoiding a cranky Pidge, carefully taking Lance’s usual seat, lest he bump the table and set the gremlin off

“Get fucked”

Keith raised an eyebrow, not sure who the comment was directed at

“Fucking piece of shit!”

The laptop? It had to be directed at the laptop... right? Shuffling over to him, Keith eyed Lance. He looked like he should still be in bed, most of the coffee in Keith’s cup was now pooling on the saucer under it

“Sorry... here we go”

As Lance set the coffee down, he winced at the minute amount of sound it made. Catching Lance by the wrist, the vampire cringed, Keith staring up at his unwell face

“Lance? Have you fed this morning?”

“Couldn’t... Company”

An unfed vampire wasn’t safe... Not that he was worried about how ill Lance looked... or felt strangely concerned about his wellbeing. That was the lack of coffee talking

“Go feed, I’ll cover you”

“But...”

“Just go already. You’re disturbing my coffee”

Lance stumbled over his own feet as he shuffled off. Keith staring at his half empty coffee cup sadly. What a waste of coffee... Fuck being socially polite. Lifting the cup off the unmatching saucer, something very unLance, further proving how bad he must feel because everything always had to match, Keith poured the other half his coffee back into his cup as Hunk cut the blender. The lack of sound was welcoming. Grinning, Hunk went to turn to Lance

“Here... huh... where’d he go?”

Pidge grunted, Keith trying to get the coffee in the cup when it insisted on running down the side and under the saucer

“Keith?”

“Just a... fuck”

Fuck all coffee wound up in his mug, Pidge snickered as Keith frowned deeply

“Keith?”

“He had to check his work phone”

“Oh, maybe I should take this down to his office... it’s best if he drinks its right away”

“No! No, ugh. We had a late night...”

That wasn’t how Keith wanted it to sound. Pidge closed her laptop, but her and Hunk giving him a funny look

“What?”

“You two had a late night, hmm?”

“Not like that”

“Not like, what?”

Keith groaned. He should have kept his mouth shut

“Shut up”

Pidge poked her tongue at him. All Keith wanted was his coffee. Pouring out the strangely green smoothly, Hunk smiled at him

“Man, if there’s something going on between you and Lance...”

“No”

Cackling, Pidge wasn’t having it

“Me thinks he denies too fast”

“Me thinks I need my coffee”

Keith died a little on the inside. Who the hell was he? He didn’t talk like that

“Keith and Lance...”

“Sitting in a tree?”

Hunk didn’t sound sure about continuing Pidge’s teasing

“Look, it’s not like that. He’s a friend. I’m just worried about him...”

Oh. Fuck.

Pidge grinned at him so widely that she surely thought she was right with her line of teasing. Hunk, on the other hand, lost his smile

“Something’s wrong with him, isn’t it? He said it was Miriam. Was he having tests? Is that why he wasn’t responding? He’s been acting really weird for the last few weeks”

“He’s acting weird because he’s been hiding his boyfriend”

“Pidge, you know what I’m talking about. He like never leaves without letting us know”

Raising the cup of coffee to his lips, Keith was so close...

“Keith, what’s going on with Lance?”

Why did people have to think he could human before his coffee? It was cruel and inhumane to bully him like this. Lowering his cup slightly, Keith sighed

“Lance is fine. We’re not dating. My stupid brother took off and thinks being here will be good for me. Shiro has like no chill, as you should know Pidge. Miriam had a really bad fall, broken hip and messed up her face. He was organising things in Platt”

It was on the tip of Keith’s tongue to mention that Luis had been there, but he didn’t know what Lance had told his two best friends in relation to his family, outside of Miriam being his grandmother.

“And he didn’t have another doctor’s appointment?”

By “doctor’s appointment” Keith assumed that was Lance speak for a visit to Coran. The previous days talk with Coran felt like it’d happened weeks ago

“Nah. I mean, I wouldn’t know. He does his own thing”

“He always has. We totally tried to have him move in with us when we were in Platt, but he wasn’t having it. He’s always been a bit odd”

“And here I thought you guys were best friends?”

“We are. He’s our odd best friend. And you’re our new odder best friend. We totally decided that in group chat”

Keith didn’t know what to make of that

“You talk about me?”

“Only to tease Lance. You do know you’re like the first person he has ever like warmed up to like this. That’s why we were sure you two were secretly dating”

“Oh, we totally are. Keith’s dick game is totally on point”

With his coffee cup heading back towards his lips, Keith was glad he didn’t have a mouthful or it’d have been sprayed across the table at Lance’s casual remark

“Lance!”

“What? You’re a total dick and you know it”

The bastard vampire shot him finger guns as Keith’s heart decided it needed to keep racing from Lance’s comment. Pidge cackled with laughter

“Oh, man. If I wasn’t convinced before, I am now. You should have seen the look on your face!”

Being a total arsehole, Lance placed his hand on Keith’s shoulder

“Did you tell them all about us, baby cakes?”

Keith growled. Why the fuck had ever been worried about this dick?

“Keep touching me and I’ll break your hand”

“Look at them, Hunk! Okay. So you’re like weird room mates...”

“Yep. For now. At least until I paint the house”

“Have you thought of a colour scheme yet?”

“I was thinking of going full ‘70’s. Shag pike carpet, lots of mismatched prints...”

Why was Lance’s hand still on his shoulder? And why was Keith now hyper focused on the fact Lance was touching him? He didn’t like it. He didn’t like Lance. He didn’t like the way he felt all weird since coming to the house... Something was definitely wrong with his heart, it kept racing for no good reason

“You do that and you’re dead to me”

“If I’d known that, I would have done it sooner”

“That enough you two. Here, I made you a smoothie. It’s chocked full of the good stuff”

Lance finally removed his hand from Keith’s shoulder. The idiot walking into the dining chair in front of him. Maybe Lance had been using him for support, and there was no greater meaning to it? Shiro did say he had the tendency to over think things...

“God, you’re worse than me. Sit down before you break your whole house”

Lance took a seat next to Pidge

“Better?”

“Much”

“You’re not as cranky”

“And you don’t look as dead”

Pidge wasn’t seeing Lance the way Keith was. Lance had a little more colour in his face, but there was pain in the corner of his eyes

“Damn, I was hoping to be the best looking dead guy in town. I take it you got their number plate?”

“I got more than their number plate. I got their home address and two dozen eggs that’d look great splattered across their windows”

“Pidgeon, that’s not my field of expertise”

“Then they shouldn’t have sideswiped my car”

So that was what Pidge had been so cranky... her anger hadn’t been directed at him

“No, but violence only leads to more violence”

“That’s why I’m egging their house and not punching them in the face. Hunk, help me out here”

Hunk placed the glass of smoothie in front of Lance who wrinkled his nose at it

“I’m kind of with Lance here. Besides, I already helped you out, dad’s organising the repairs as we speak”

“Merp”

“Merp to you too. Hunk, do I wanna know what’s in this?”

“Nope. Drink it all fast”

“I hate it when you say that”

As Lance drank his smoothie, Keith settled back in his chair, finally able to enjoy his first, half empty, cold, sad looking coffee.

*

Lance was not having a fun day. He’d had a very, very, very vivid dream. A very, very, very vivid dream about bending a very, very, very emo vampire hunter over his kitchen table... He’d woken up feeling strange, waking up secondary to the lower parts of his anatomy that’d apparently had a pretty good time without his permission. Washing his underwear had been a lesson in humiliation, the only consolation being he had his own private bathroom. His dream had been way too vivid, like waaaaaay to vivid to the point he swore he could feel Keith on his skin... and after showering, he just felt deflated. Like he was running on a third of his strength. Weak and shaky, worse than he had the day before. He’d barely been out the shower five minutes before Hunk was calling to say they were on their way, and Pidge was pissed.

Trying to choose something to wear had been a struggle, by the time he’d done that, he could hear Hunk’s car coming, his stupid senses deciding he needed to hyper aware. He hadn’t had time to feed, nor to prewarn Keith, or get his shit together because how he was supposed to face Keith. He felt as if he’d violated the man by dreaming about him... Especially when he kind of wanted to reverse the positions... He was a goddamn pervert... Keith wasn’t... they hadn’t... He hadn’t been horrible company the night before. He’d tried to press him for information, but couldn’t a guy just relax and eat some bad pizza in peace? Not that the pizza had been bad... Keith didn’t know better when it came to a pizza drowning in toppings.

When Hunk started the blender Lance had felt as if his brain was in their with the other half dozen ingredients. Pidge was murderous, someone having sideswiped her car during the early hours of the morning. She’d spent the morning reviewing the security feed from the front of her house... Lance not quite able to find the right time to slip out the kitchen and drain a blood bag like his body was telling him he needed to do. He hadn’t thought Keith would see how poorly he felt, his hands were shaking as he tried to banish the thoughts of his unwanted dream. He felt like he should be apologising repeatedly and begging not to be decapitated for betray him like this.

Then Keith had gone and been even nicer, sending to feed while he babysat Pidge and Hunk. Lance had nearly torn the blood bag in half in his rush to feed. Coran had said “changes”, not damn dreams like he was a teenager again. They’d had a bonding moment watching TV. Keith was pretty funny when he wasn’t trying to murder him, or being stupider than words could describe. His taste in movies really was as bad a Pidge’s, the pair would be an unstoppable remote hogging pair if they teamed up. Keith just... He’d opened up somewhat, awkward with Pidge and Hunk, but not as awkward as he’d been. He talked. He covered for Lance over what had happened in Platt. He’d covered for him a lot, and Lance didn’t know why he was going that little bit extra to keep Hunk and Pidge from worrying.

“Dude, I’m surprised your kitchen’s this messy. Normally you’re a clean freak in here”

As Lance recovered from the horrible green sludge he’d choked down for Hunk’s benefit, he was almost envious that Pidge had missed out. He’d take a dirty kitchen over that smoothie any day of the year

“Keith made pizzas last night. We couldn’t be bothered cleaning up after”

“Keith, man. Another cooking aficionado?”

“No”

Keith’s answer was blunt. The fact he’d pulled himself together after Lance’s little temper tantrum was to be applauded. The wood fire stove came with the house, but rarely got used for anything other than pizzas. The thing was a temperamental old bitch on the best of days, but at least she was always there when there was no power or gas. Poor Hunk didn’t know how to deal with Keith

“Not from scratch, but it was pretty good”

“Are you two sure you’re not dating?”

Lance really wished Pidge would give the topic a rest. He’d had a tough enough morning as it was

“Pidgeon, I wouldn’t hold out on you if we were. I know how much you love those tiny little details...”

Pidge covered her ears with her hands

“I don’t want to know”

“Then give it a break already. Hunk, what are you Pidge up to for the rest of the day?”

“Not much, man. This wasn’t even planned...“

Planning would have been nice. Then he could have planned to hide until he died. He wouldn’t have had to face Keith. What kind of idiot put their hand on a caffeine deprived hunter and cracked lame jokes? Oh, that was right, it was him. He was the idiot. He wasn’t even sure why he had. He’d felt a little woozy as the blood rushed through his system, but once his hand was on Keith, he’d had a hard time letting go.

“... I’ll probably help my dad at the garage today. What about you, Pidge?”

“Seeing I’m not allowed to egg houses even when they house arseholes, I’ll probably set up a board and see what I can figure out. It’s been ages since we went on a proper hunt”

Pidge had the remnants of various boards tucked away in the attic of her family home. They were essentially murder boards for supernatural things. Photos, timelines, interesting articles. It was something she didn’t really talk about around outsiders, and something the three of them had taken to doing together. Lance felt a flare of jealousy over the fact Keith was being made privy to secret group information. Hunk didn’t seem to care

“Ooooh. Why didn’t you tell me you started a new board?”

“It’s an old one. Garrison, again. I mean, like, you’d think they would have fixed the arrangements of the wars. We all call it the Third World War, and sure there was a huge technology jump, but it was aaaaaaaages before the First World War”

It was and it wasn’t. That was the weird thing. Everyone knew it happened, yet when you tried to focus really hard on it, things became a bit muddle. Lance couldn’t quite put his finger on it either. It was kind of like some mass imagination thing had happened, but there was proof of it happening even if they couldn’t say exactly when. Personally Lance wouldn’t have listed it as a world war, and more an allies skirmish between two sides who both thought they were right and leader who had peanuts for brains... or maybe one of those monkeys with the cymbals that smashed them together every time they got remotely close to a good idea

“The good old Garrison board. How we loved you so. You revisiting the hospital?”

“No, I was thinking of re-examining the building usage lists. I want to see if we can set up again for another night in another building. Lance is probably going to be busy with Miriam, so I’m keeping it local for now. There’s this total members only club in Platt, that I have been dying to see. They reckon it’s run by werewolves who were born werewolves and that all the staff are werewolves that drank from water in their footprints”

Werewolves. Lance’s mood shifted again. He was turning into a breeder, with two new werewolf roommates coming. Werewolves could be quite lusty, and his arse was definitely saved for someone else. Someone with a big dumb black mullet... Lance chocked on air as he quickly cut that train of thinking off. Keith was basically a working condom advertisement. Emotional issues that’d never been treated, far too good looking to be human, cranky 24/7, plus he wasn’t even domesticated. He was never going to be interested in him and the sooner his brain got it together, the better it’s be for him.

“How about Pidge and I go pick the board up, then we all can work on it together?”

Noooooooooooo. Lance loved Hunk with the power of a billion suns, but noooooo. He didn’t want to be trapped on the couch next to Keith. He still needed time to settle his instincts, and to push down that damn dream... mostly the dream. Making the mistake of closing his eyes, the dream popped back into the forefront of his mind. Back’s had never really been sexy, but Keith’s broad shoulders and muscular form as he gripped the table... the sounds he made as Lance rode him hard into the table... The warmth... Keith was so fucking warm and loud... Whining, Lance clamped a hand over his mouth as his eyes shot open

“Dude?”

“I think I’m going to be sick”

He was... Hunk’s smoothie had to come out one way or the other. Bolting from the kitchen, he heard Keith covering him again. Why couldn’t keith go back to being a dick! Things were so much easier then, and now he was all friendly with his friends

“We kind of got drunk last night. He’s probably hung over... I’ll check on him. Why don’t you guys come back this afternoon and we’ll work on your board then?”

“Damn, man. I’ve never seen him hung over before...”

“Are you sure it’s just a hangover?”

“He’ll be fine. I need more coffee”

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

can you meet me tonight in detention? (Iida Tenya X Reader)

I’s been wanting to write for Iida for a while... and so I did! My best... I love this boy he’s so underrated compared to Deku, Bakugo and Todoroki and he’s so nice... uptight... but nice...

Summary: Even the hardest workers get stressed out and exhausted, but sometimes stressed out just snap...

Warning: The reader is not going to be very kind in this story because well... while I have my limits on how mean a reader can be, I also thought it’d be neat to feature a mean-ish kind of reader in a story. But... if you don’t really like, I don't recommend this.

I also wrote this because I’m so stressed out I wish I could scream at someone since the people I’m around IRL either don’t notice or just don’t give a shit. 

Also angst, mentions of stress and anxiety, but with a happy ending. 

Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vw9k5HWGwI

I'm not a bad guy So don't treat me bad if I'm feeling sad, alright? Please don't be mad if I don't smile back, alright? If I fuck up my words, don't think I'm absurd, alright? Alright?

“Are you serious…?” You said outloud as you sat on your bed, looking at your phone and reading up on certain pages and wikis that interested you as a means to distract yourself from the fact that you had a shit-ton of homework due at the end of the week, as well as like 3 different tests.

Thankfully, Iida was already kind enough to actually help you study for the test that was today in class, and even helped you in the other subjects and yet for some reason your brain still felt empty. He was so nice, he really did help you but you envied how he could easily retain this information. Clearly, he knew you were struggling, but you had a feeling he didn’t entirely get just how much you were struggling both emotionally and physically.

You wanted to tell him, you did but at the same time it wasn’t any of his business. Iida was too sweet to put up with your bullshit and you weren’t going to do that to him. So to you it just felt like it made more sense to bottle all of this up rather than be upfront with your stress. And anything else you might have felt for him…

When did school get so hard? And when did it catch up to you all so fast? Did you procrastinate worse than you thought? Or were the teachers just being extra cruel?

At this point you had no idea, but all that mattered was that you were in your dorm room and could only partially relax before those fucking tests. You just wanted to sleep for the rest of your life or at least sleep all the way through your school-life until you get somewhere you want.

The worst part? 

The second you blinked you realized that you had already somehow fallen asleep and the clock on your phone read 8 am. God... you couldn’t...

You couldn’t get yourself out of bed yet, you had to just lie down for another 5 minutes before those motherfucking tests.

“(Y/N). Are you okay?” However, a soft knock and a soft voice broke you from your thoughts but it was only Uraraka and you sighed in relief. She was okay, you didn’t mind hearing from her. “Uh huh I’m good Ochako.” You replied neutrally and you didn’t have to see her face to know she was smiling.

“Oh good! Breakfast will be ready soon okay?”

You smiled a little bit and gave another relieved sigh, “Okay… awesome I’ll be there shortly.” Good, you could stress eat at breakfast and try to not freak out or throw it back up when you start your tests.

Once you made it to the kitchen to eat with everyone, keeping to yourself and managing to somehow eat enough to satisfy your hunger for a little bit. Although you didn’t seem to notice that some of your friends, namely Uraraka, Midoriya and Iida had noticed how little you’ve been eating lately.

You barely had much breakfast at all...

However, you didn’t want to bother anyone at all until everything was taken care of so you quickly hid away once breakfast was over so you could relax in the commons for a little while longer until class starts and then you had to do all those blasted tests.

Once your ass hit the soft couch, you immediately put your ear buds in to play the first song that came to mind to block out the rest of the world for at least 3 minutes.

“Find a cure Find a cure for her life Put a price Put a price on her soul.”

“Oh my god Oh you think I'm in control Oh my god Oh you think it's all for fun.”

“Oh my God…” You mouth the lyrics and bobbed your head to the lyrics with your eyes closed, completely ignoring the reality around you as you sang this beautifully angry song that sounded just like your life right now.

“(L/N).”

And you had no idea that someone was trying to get your attention as you just kept mouthing the lyrics and dancing in seat to the rhythm. 

“(L/N).”

Nope, you couldn’t hear anything, you were too busy rocking out and listening to the screaming and the cries for help that you made you wanna scream too. Yeah! You were going to do it!

“(L/N)!”

Except you didn’t shout, it was someone else who had raised their voice and tapped your shoulder as you opened your eyes in shock and looked up at the offender with wide (E/C) eyes. It was Iida, and he didn’t look too happy with the fact that you had your earphones on full blast and didn’t hear him. But your shocked look just turned into a look of annoyance as you reluctantly put your music on pause.

“Please take off your headphones.” He started by politely requesting that you take the buds out of your ears and God you were so annoyed but did it anyway, “Ugh…” What did he want now? You were NOT in the mood.

“What Iida?” That came off a lot ruder than you intended to but at this point you were starting to care less and less.

“You really shouldn’t listen to your music at such high volume, it might actually worsen your hearing overtime.” He just HAD to give you a little mini-lecture about how listening to music too loud was going to make your hearing worse as you get older.

Why did you have a crush on him? Dammit, you wanted to focus on the fact that he was so handsome because he was. He was so handsome and such a good guy, and you adored him, but right now you weren’t in lovey-dovey mode, you were in hella-stressed mode and thus in a bad place to be lectured.

Hella-stressed mode brought out a less than pleasant side of you, where you just saw all the flaws in people and sometimes you did things you often regretted afterward. Right now you were holding it all back though, for Iida’s sake…

I'm physically exhausted Tired of my knuckles beating I'm chewing gum to pass this time Sadness, can't you see it? You're too busy seeking self-pleasures Look at how I'm feeling You write me up and say it's love And I can't believe it...

“Whatever, I’m going to the bathroom to wash my face or something... I’m exhausted.” Standing up, you tried to exit but he stopped you before you got the chance to take even a step forward. “I’m sorry (L/N) but could you please stay where you are? There’s something you and I need to discuss because I think it’s very important regarding your exhaustion.”

“Ugh.” You replied in annoyance, completely missing the concerned look on his face turn mildly offended, but at least he didn’t call you out on it. “I know you’re quite busy, but as of late you haven’t been eating very well. I’ve noticed it. I recommend that you start to monitor yourself because skipping even one meal can impact your moods and affect your health. Look at yourself, you’re out of it and that makes me wonder if you’ve been getting enough sleep.” He was telling you this like you didn’t already know that.

“Mm-hmm.” You nodded and hummed as you tried not to express ALL the annoyance you had right now.

“You’ve been falling behind a little bit too, I think it might be because of this decline in eating well. So please start taking better care of yourself okay? I can help you though if you-.” You had to stop him right there.

“I’m well aware of that Iida. Why do you think I’ve been working so hard? I know I’m falling behind… that’s why I’ve been working my ass off lately.” Keeping your cool (but barely) you explained yourself and hoped that it would make him see from your point of you, but he didn’t seem to entirely get your plight.

“And I commend you for that, but I’m also talking about your health here. Not taking care of yourself is going to make your grades suffer, it’s why you’re struggling right now.” Iida meant well, he really did, but he just did not understand…

“Is that really why I’m struggling? Is it?” So you lost some of your patience with him but didn’t raise your voice. Although he was a bit surprised at how you were biting back.

“Yes I believe so, that’s why I’m suggesting that you eat better so you don’t struggle like you currently are right now, and furthermore I recommend procrastinating less, I’m aware that you’re prone to that, which may also be why you’re struggling.” Twitching your eyebrow, you lost the ability to look at him because the more he spoke, the more it felt like he was just calling you out.

“Not everyone can be as on top of it as you okay?” Maybe this time he’d get the message to leave you alone, because right now you wanted him to just go and not remind you of how much you were sucking and how much stress you were in as your heart started to race...

And this wasn’t one of those crush heartbeating things, no, you were trembling because of everything that was starting to crawl into your skin as you resisted the urge to pace and run away or do something else undesirable...

Iida was even more surprised, but he still tried to be sympathetic because he was, he really was to your plight even though he wasn’t completely aware of how you were feeling. “(L/N) please… I’m not trying to put myself above you or offend you, I’m trying to help you because I’m worried about you and I want you to-“

That’s it…

“Dammit will you just SHUT YOUR TRAP AND LET ME HAVE THE LAST WORD FOR ONCE?!” There was nothing you saw other than red as you suddenly just screamed at the class rep and ignored how your shout had alarmed some of your classmates as they somewhat awkwardly arrived at the source of the shouting. 

You couldn’t take it anymore. You simply couldn’t have someone trying to talk you down and ignore the fact that you were so pissed off and stressed out. And you REALLY didn’t need someone to kick you while you’re down. Whether they intended to do that or not, you didn’t need it and you didn’t want it.

Iida was visibly horrified, his eyes went wide at your sudden outburst but he couldn’t just let you get away with talking to him like that when he was just trying to help you. “(L/N)! Watch your language and please don’t use that tone with me when I’m trying to help you!” Voice slightly raised, he still tried to retain a sense of professionalism and not just snap at you like you were doing as you gave him a look. Who the hell was he your dad?

“You may not be feeling well, I can sympathize with that but that’s why I-.” He really wanted to help you, and it was actually kind of hurting him that you didn’t seem to want it. But he had to help you, maybe he should have been helping you more. Because right now…

You couldn’t with him. You literally could not.

You could not pretend that everything was all right anymore, and Iida was unlucky enough to be around you while you were definitely not all right.

Hey, can you meet me tonight in detention? I can feel your blood pressure rise, fuck this tension Let me crawl up into your mind, did I mention? Pretending everything's alright is detention...

“No you know what? Just stop! I am SICK to death of you always droning ON AND ON about shit I could care less about, because the truth is dude-” You were ready to just go on and on but to your shock, Iida was still trying to talk over you as a means to put an end to this. He hated the fact that he was even arguing with you about this, he never wanted to argue with any of his dear classmates.

“Enough already (L/N)! I won’t be spoken to in such a manner when I’m looking out for you! Please just let me-.” He cut you off, so you immediately did the same.

“No! Be quiet! That’s your problem! You’re like talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, YAP! Blah blah blah, on and on over and over again!” You made a mocking voice as you used both your hands to do the ‘blah blah’ gesture much to Iida’s slight horror at the way you just went off on him and weren’t stopping...

He tried very hard to try and get his word in as he stammered and every time he tried to speak you raised your voice and made yourself louder, meaner...

“Like oh my GOD I can’t believe how ANNOYING I didn’t realize you were until now! What kind of taste do I have?! I mean oh my GOD! You’re grating, you’re an uptight ass, you bitch, you nag, you’re privileged and don’t even know it, you’re an oblivious snob, you stick your nose in everyone’s business and you strut around acting like some kind of God Mode Mr. Goody Goody Two shoes, well cut it the fuck out! I’m tired of it man! I’m tired as hell, and I don’t need you up in my business and bothering the hell out of me you annoying priss! And I especially don’t need some privileged rich boy telling me that I need to take care of myself, when I don’t have the fucking advantages that you have!” As you let out quite a furious tangent and listed off all the things you disliked about your class rep with your fingers, you were so furious and making all these hand gestures you didn’t see the appalled look on his face. 

You DID see small glints of tears threatening to well in his eyes though. Oh he’s going to cry now? Typical. Apparently, he couldn’t handle the truth, could he? Classic rich boy move.

“(L/N)! N-Now you’re just being rude!” Iida was so lost for words at your barrage of insults and apparently how you really felt about him that there was little he could say to defend himself. Never in his life has anyone told him things like that.

And he looked even more distraught when he saw you laughing, “Oh! You’re gonna cry now? WOOOOOW… so you can dish it by being on people’s ass but you can’t even take it? I don’t feel sorry for you... Did I hurt your feelings? Did I hurt the rich boy's feelings~?”

“Stop it…!” His voice cracked ever so slightly and he hated himself for it as you relentlessly went in to drive the final knife into the fresh wound.

“Well then how about YOU stop fucking up my school life and leave me the hell alone already you four-eyed, made-in-the-shade jerk?!” You were standing big as you shouted at him with exhausted eyes that he couldn’t see through his tearful ones.

“Y-You’re going to detention after classes are over!” Iida quickly snapped back. He wasn’t certain if he had that authority but he needed to do something, anything to reassert himself, even though his quivering lip and the tears in his eyes hardly made him intimidating for you as you scoffed and threw your hands up in the air.  

“Great! I’m gonna love it there! You wanna know why? Cuz I get to be away from you!”

The fact that you were in trouble and definitely going to detention didn’t seem to deter you as the taller male hitched his breath, forcing back the rest of his tears and threw an arm to cover his eyes when the traitorous tears streamed down his cheeks. He couldn’t let his classmates see him like this, he couldn’t let you see him like this so he could only do what his available part of his brain told him to do, the part based on emotion, and so he quickly dashed off away from his classmates as Uraraka and Midoriya tried to call him back while you just huffed and watched him run off with slightly wide eyes…

De-detention De-detention Pretending everything's all right is detention...

“Oh my… (L/N)… please, I understand you’re upset but… please let’s all just calm down…” However, because the other could tell you were still mad, Yaoyorozu tried to fill in for Iida in getting you calm down, but unfortunately she underestimated your anger at the moment.

“Ohhh like it’s SO easy… you’re just as bad as him Yaoyorozu! What’s the rich girl got to worry about huh? You can calm down easily since you can afford EEEEEEVERYTHING in the world…” You were still pissed and reacting purely on anger without even thinking of what you were saying, and poor Yaoyorozu walked into the lion’s den not knowing that the lion was awake and pissed.

You were the lion.

“W-What?! B-But I-.”

“But NOTHING. Calm down?! That’s easy for you to say! You’re SO fucking smart and I bet everything Asshole-sensei gives you is like no fucking problem, what are you even doing here Yaoyorozu?!” You couldn’t take it anymore, what were all the rich kids doing at this school when they could do whatever they wanted? While people like you, Uraraka and Kirishima were working your asses off because you had to actually work for it.

It wasn’t Iida’s fault, and it wasn’t Yaoyorozu’s fault either and you knew it, but you were so pissed off and at an all-time stress high you thought the tears welling in her eyes were innocuous and just another way to get sympathy from the others. Of course, the princess wanted sympathy because she wouldn’t and couldn’t understand real world struggles. And you were certain that the princess was going to get what she wanted because you had no doubt that she always got what she wanted.

“I-I…” Oh now SHE was crying,  wow...

“I-I’m here to be a hero like everyone else is! Just like you!” She exclaimed and covered her mouth when the tears were coming and she couldn’t stop them, but you had no sympathy for her right now. She could do anything she wanted, and she wanted to be a hero? So why didn’t she just buy her way into an agency?

“Oh! You’re crying now! HA! Classic princess move, can’t handle any kind of real world truth because you’re SOOOOO sheltered and happy in your big fancy castle and people like me are stuck in little shitholes barely making ends meet, well go cry home to your rich mommy and daddy sweetheart don’t cry here. If you can’t handle real-world shit, go cry home to mommy and daddy and maybe think about how great you have it and how you have never struggled a goddamn day in your life, while people like me got shit and have to deal with everything by ourselves using what WE got every goddamn day...” Your display of aggression and downright callousness shocked everyone, but Jirou didn’t hesitate to step in to defend Yaoyorozu when she burst into tears and ran over to a worried Ashido and Uraraka.

“Okay that’s it! You better leave her alone (L/N)! And chill the hell out! She didn’t do anything to you!”

Wrong choice of words…

“I need to chill the hell out?!”

“Yeah!”

Girl vs girl, Mineta was much too scared to enjoy the concept of a catfight as you and Jirou got up in each other’s faces, but it didn’t last long when your anger took the reigns, “How about you shut the fuck up so I don’t have to listen to your condescending smart-ass comments?! Ain’t nobody asked for your imput!”

“I’m serious (L/N)! Cut it out or-“

“Or what?! I can kick your ass easily Jirou, don’t even try me right now, cuz I am HELLA stressed out and my telekinesis can fuck anything up cuz of the headache I’ve had for the last two weeks. I already beat up several people in the Sports Fest and another edgy chick at the USJ. But if you wanna try to pick a fight with me go ahead, it’ll end badly I guarantee it…”

Your threat actually intimidated her because she’s seen you use your telekinesis quirk in battle and you got good with your quirk, but didn’t have COMPLETE control over it especially when your emotions got the better of you and you were in the WORST possible mood. Jirou reluctantly backed off as you scoffed.

“Good.” You could have beaten her in a battle, but that was the last thing you wanted since you were tired and mad as hell. You were going to feel horrible about it later but right now you were stuck on anger, and your concerned classmates just wanted to help you.

“(L/N)… being angry is not a pretty feeling…”

“Yeah, c’mon now just… try and-“

Not wanting to anger you any further, kind souls like Aoyama and Ojiro attempted to try and get you to calm down, but it didn’t work…

“Try and what?! I don’t need you guys to tell me what to do either! What can you dolts even do?!” You shouted at them too, and already the two blondes were scared as hell and trembling at the volume you were using.

“Aoyama! You’re a joke and I have NO idea how you even got into this class!” You pointed at the taller blonde who’s eyes widened and he backed away slightly, and then you turned your finger over to Ojiro.

“Ojiro you’re even worse! You’re weak-willed, boring and your so-called costume is the definition of a fashion faux-pas!” Suddenly you shouted that last word a little bit louder as he, like Aoyama, backed away slightly when your words straight up attacked them…

Quietly Aoyama gasped when the words hit him, it was a tad bit dramatic but genuine as your words sincerely did hurt as the tears instantly sprung to his eyes while Ojiro felt an uncomfortable swell of hurt in his chest as he couldn’t fight his own tears at how much that stung and how you just kept yelling.

“What kinda advice do two of the most frivolous students in our class have for me? Hmm?! Go on, lemme hear it!”

“N-Nevermind… s-sorry for bothering you…” Ojiro tried and failed to hold back the tears in his eyes, and it wasn’t just him, Aoyama was on the verge of tears as he hiccuped, “O-Oui… w-we didn’t mean to… upset you…”

They both timidly apologized, before they both dashed away from you, crying as they covered their eyes. in an attempt to hide their tears On any normal day you would have felt horrible, but not right now, not yet…

“(L/N)!”

Your next victim in the making? You turned with a frenzied look in your eye to see a very nervous looking Midoriya as he was trembling where he stood. He KNEW he was in trouble just for daring to speak up and you could tell he was AFRAID. “P-Please… s-stop this…? I-I know that you’re mad but…”

“Well, well, well, well, wellllll~!” Cutting him off you threw your hands in the air, “The famous Deku, always, ALLLLLLWAYS gotta play the motherfuckin’ hero, well… NOT TODAY DEKU!” You went from 5 to 10 just like that as Izuku shrunk and yelped a bit.

“I’m not in the mood to be hearing nothing from your goody goody two-shoes ass cuz I got shit on my mind you couldn’t even begin to understand cuz you’re SOOOOO smart, so when I say ‘Shut the fuck up’ I mean SHUT THE FUCK UP!” God you were being so mean and a part of you felt horrible when Izuku was trembling with fearful tears in his eyes, but you were still angry and your anger was still in control as you saw the green-haired boy back away…

“Right choice… now… does anybody else have anything that they wanna share or ask me?” You asked everyone else, outright warning them all as Bakugo snickered a bit at how angry you were. Was it wrong that he found this kind of awesome? Way to tell off the privileged ones and the losers and ESPECIALLY Deku…

I wanna go home and you say, "Now is not the time" Fuck being all alone in back of the classroom, ah Stop calling up my phone, trying to say that I've been out of line When all I ever asked was to go to the bathroom...

“Why did Iida, Ojiro and Aoyama just run off crying?”

Aizawa’s voice broke you out of the rage you were in as he entered the room. Even though you turned to face him with the same exhausted and irritated look on your face. He wasn’t having it, but neither were you. However, you knew better than to shout at this asshole that was your teacher and you didn’t need to be in anymore trouble than you already were.

He knew you were pissed off and stressed out, but he saw three of his students run off in tears, and then Yaoyorozu and Midoriya were crying too. Classic stress-induced meltdown…

“I made them cry sir.” You muttered and raised your hand as you didn’t look any less annoyed. Yeah you made them cry, so what? Dammit… you made them cry… for some reason that didn’t feel very good when you actually said it outloud.

“Why?” He asked you in a plain, simple tone as you tried not to look anymore annoyed. “Iida told me things I didn’t want to hear. So I yelled at him. Ojiro and Aoyama tried to get me to calm down, but I didn’t wanna hear that neither, so I yelled at them too. Yaoyorozu and Midoriya too.” You had to reluctantly admit what you had done, and to your shock Aizawa didn’t seem TOO annoyed.

“Iida said I have detention because I was rude to him. I don’t really care that I was but I will be in detention.” Sighing, you at least had enough balls to admit that you weren’t going to skip detention, which mildly surprised Aizawa as he sighed.

These kids…

“Very well. Make sure to apologize to everyone when you’re done.” He wasn’t good at the whole comforting and making kids make up, so he just expected you to apologize because he knew that you would start feeling bad soon. You weren’t normally like this, it was just stress and he understood that, but he wasn’t going to straight-up tell you to relax. And you didn’t expect him to either since he knew his students knew better. 

Aizawa cared about his students, and you knew that, and you were actually glad that he didn’t punish you any further and instead just made sure you remembered to go to detention.

A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER…

You did it. 

You finished all the fucking tests and you were freaking the fuck out. You had no idea how you did, but at the same time you really didn’t give a shit. They were done, and that’s all that mattered to you right now.

Yet, why didn’t you feel as good as you wanted to? After a test you normally felt SOME relaxation and proceeded to treat yourself or just go to sleep after everything was done. Except, treating yourself felt impossible…

For one, you had detention to go to after school. Second, once tests were finished you became aware of how HELLA awkward everything was in class after your meltdown. Iida refused to look at you the entire time as he quickly averted you and avoided you every time you were in the vicinity. Every time you even looked at him, he ignored you. Which actually really stung...

Then Midoriya and Jirou almost seemed nervous when you were close too, as they looked away from you out of fear that you’d say something mean again. Then Yaoyorozu, Ojiro and Aoyama practically teared up when you looked over at them.

Clearly… they were all still feeling hurt over your words and how you behaved. Did you feel bad? Yes…

“Are you okay (Y/N)?” Thank God Uraraka at least wasn’t treating you like some kind of monster as she seemed the most concerned for you.

You shook your head and sighed, “I was SO stressed out Ochako… I just… snapped… I know it’s no excuse for what I said to Iida and the others but… god… I was SO stressed out… and I took everything out on them… I needed to, I mean I shouldn’t have but I just… felt like I had to…” You could be honest with Uraraka, and although she didn’t approve, she understood.

“I know… it’s okay… I wasn’t feeling very good either because of the tests either... it’s stressful, it really is... But… you can still apologize to them… when you’re ready. They’ll understand, after all… Iida… Deku, Jirou, Yaoyorozu, Ojiro and Aoyama are nice. I know that they’ll forgive you and understand why you were upset and know that you really didn’t mean any of it. They know you (Y/N).” She gave you a soft smile in hopes that it would reassure you, and it did a little bit as you gave her a little smile in return.

“I sure hope so…” 

Even though she could tell you were nervous, Uraraka had faith in you. She knew you could do it, and she knew that you would win them back because after all they were in this together right? Everyone stressed out when it came to trying to be good at what you’re doing.

You thought so too. You were sad, that’s all, you were stressed out, that’s all. It wasn’t an excuse, but still. You didn’t mean to hurt anyone.

And you really didn’t mean to hurt Iida...

Hey, can you meet me tonight in detention? I can feel your blood pressure rise, fuck this tension Let me crawl up into your mind, did I mention? Pretending everything's alright is detention 

What have you done?

Being in detention with Present Mic made you realize that you screwed up. Albeit because he tried to do The Breakfast Club thing by making you and the other students in detention just write why you thought you were here. In English.

You didn’t really have a problem with English but thinking about why you were in detention and writing about why you thought you were in detention made you realize EXACTLY why you were in here. You snapped at your innocent classmates, threatened one classmate, and made some of your classmates’ cry, even when they were trying to help you, you made them cry…

You made Ojiro cry. You made Aoyama cry. You made Midoriya and Yaoyorozu cry.

You made Iida cry…

You made the boy you’ve been crushing on for quite some time cry. He wanted to help you and you said all of those horrible things to him and made him feel lower than he’s probably ever felt. And Iida really was a sweet guy. Yes… he was uptight, yes he came off as a bit of a snob, but dammit, he only bothered you because he cared about you, he helped you because he cared about you, and you yelled at him and hurt his feelings.

The thought made you want to cry as a tear dripped down your cheek and onto the paper you were writing on to confess your crimes.

“Hey… it’s okay now (L/N)…” Present Mic was kind enough to offer you some sympathy though because he and Eraser knew that you were just under a lot of stress and meant none of the nastier things you might have said to your classmates. “It’s okay… the worst part is over for now doncha think? It’s time to move on! And squeeze in some downtime afterwards yeah~! Maybe relax yourself now that you have a little time to breath!” He was still as excitable as ever, and it actually made you smile as you wiped your tears away.

“Yeah... yeah you’re right sir...” 

No more negativity. Not right now.

You wanted positivity, and show that kind positivity to your classmates from now on. As soon as you were finished with your paper and handed it to Mic, you were rushing out the door. “You got this!!” He made sure to give you that support too, because he knew a stressed-out student when he saw one and that’s the only reason you got upset in the first place. They needed to do something about students and mental health…

Tonight I can feel your blood pressure rise Let me crawl up into your mind Pretending everything's alright Is detention...

To be continued...

[smmahamazing]

Inukag Week 2020 - Loyalty

This is a mostly direct part two of yesterdays prompt, Acceptance.

I would like you all to know that I had to look up the name for a "gear shift", because I just call in the PRNDL (Suite Life fans anyone?). I'm still not sure if that's even the correct term, but after several google searches I just went for "gear shift", although I almost just said screw it and called it a PRDNL LOL.

FFN or AO3

Restaurant kitchens are noisy places. The bubble of the fryers as fries and onion rings are cooked to golden perfection. Peppers and mushrooms sizzling in a saute pan. Belted vocal announcements of “Behind!” and “Coming down!” bouncing off the walls, drowned out by the roaring of the industrial dishwasher.

Today though, there was nothing louder than the sound of a sharp chef’s knife whacking away at the cutting board, sharp thuds cutting through the air. It was definitely not how you were supposed to use the tool, and the cutting board sure wasn't faring any better, but Kagome could have cared less about that in the moment.

Kagome was furious.

She didn't think there was ever a time that'd she felt angrier than she did now; which said something because the event that made her completely fly off the handle happened almost a week ago.

Several weeks had passed since the incident at Inuyasha's auto shop. Things had been going very well for the couple; Kagome's declaration of acceptance had put Inuyasha in a most loving mood. The following weekend, they visited a hot spring together, washing away the stress from the previous week. On top of that, Mama had called Inuyasha and personally asked if he could help her love things around the shrine for jii-chan, with the promise of a lunch date 'with her future son-in-law'. The term of endearment was a little embarrassing for them both, seeing as they had only been dating for a few months and obviously haven't talked about that, but Inuyasha had swelled up with pride at the thought that Kagome's mother labels him as family. Kagome would have bet three for three with all the good happening to them.

If only she had cut her losses sooner. Kagome's girlfriends from high school had been messaging her about hanging out. Apparently, there was a new bistro bar that just opened up downtown with great reviews, so Yuka and Eri thought it would be a good idea to check it out. Ayame ended up cancelling due to some work responsibilities, but hoped that she and Hojo would be able to go next time.

Kagome was a little nervous at first when she suggested to Inuyasha about going out with the girls. 'The Hojo Incident' was still a little fresh in the mind, and although Hojo wouldn't actually be there this time, Kagome remembered that he didn't leave the best impression to the girls that night either. Suffice to say, she was surprised when Inuyasha was all for going out, even if he seemed a little nervous. He really seemed like he wanted to start over with Yuka and Eri.

Things would be awkward at first, but Kagome was sure Inuyasha would win them over. There was no way they couldn't walk away from the night with a newly reinforced friendship.

Hell, she would have taken acquaintanceship over what actually happened. Kagome guessed that her first mistake was assuming Inuyasha was invited at all. Usually when they have a group outing and Hojo accompanies them, boyfriends are also invited; so when Ayumi messaged everyone about her and Hojo not being able to make it, Kagome assumed that this was not a girl's only night. When they arrived at the bistro, the daggering looks they shot at Inuyasha told Kagome all she needed to know. Unfortunately for them, Inuyasha was already there, and Kagome certainly wasn't going to tell him to just go home. They would just have to get over it. Besides, Inuyasha promised her he was going to keep a cool head when it came to Yuka and Eri so she could have a nice night with her girlfriends, and Kagome had all the faith in the world of her hanyou.

The evening started out okay, despite the obvious irritated looks from the girls. They ordered some drinks and appetizers, politely chatting about the goings on in everyone's life. Eri was talkative - although definitely more muted than her normal self - while Yuka was mostly silent, giving straightforward answers to most questions geared towards her. Neither of them spoke to Inuyasha at first, which Kagome found odd but decided not to make too big a deal out of it. Instead, she constantly drove the conversation Inuyasha's way, opening up segways for him to add his own two cents in when the moment was right. By the time the server arrived with their meals, the girls had at least started to acknowledge his presence at the table and no one had yelled at one another. The night might not have been perfect, but Kagome could be content with that.

It wasn't until Inuyasha went to the bathroom that the night took a dive for the worst, when Kagome made her second mistake: confronting her friends.

"What the hell is your guys' problem?"  Kagome hissed, hoping Inuyasha was far enough away that he couldn't pick up what she was saying.

"What problem?" Yuka asked, although Kagome wasn't fooled by her sarcastic innocence.

"You guys have barely spoken a word to Inuyasha all night, and when you have said something, you've been stiff as a board about it. Could you maybe lighten up a little?"

"We're just trying not to provoke your hot-headed boyfriend over there," Eri chimed in.

"Ugh," Kagome covered her face with her hands. "Look, I know our last get together was...a lot, but Inuyasha really feels bad about his temper that night. If you let him, I know he'd apologize to you guys. He's trying really hard to be in good spirits tonight."

"Are you serious right now Kagome?" Eri shot back at her. "Do you even hear yourself right now? You're telling us to give him a chance when he has to actually think about being nice to people?"

"That's not what I meant, and you know it. Inuyasha isn't used to going out and interacting with other people. I know he's got a hard shell, but once you crack it, you’ll see he's a really great guy once you get to know him, and it would mean a lot to me if you could try to do just that."

"We tried that last time Kagome, and he got angrier with every question we asked." Yuka argued.

"Well, in his defense, you guys come off really strong. He just felt a little smothered with the back-and-forth you two are so good at. I'm sure if you just tone it down a little, you'll have a great conversation together."

"Oh, so now we're supposed to change who we are every time your boyfriend is around?" Yuka yelled, getting louder with every response.

"N-no, that's not what I'm saying at all! I want you all to meet somewhere in the middle so you can get to know each other, Inuyasha included. Which he is trying to do!" Kagome didn't know what was happening. This isn't how the night was supposed to go. She knew that the last time they all got together, tempers were a little high, but she really hoped tonight would help cool everything down. Inuyasha was trying his best to settle between being a part of the conversation and letting the Kagome and the girls have their own time, she wanted him to be able to make amends so they could move on. Ayumi and Hojo were both extremely forgiving people, and Kagome knew that Inuyasha would have an easier time making things right with them when the time comes. It was Yuka and Eri that needed to be handled with care. And unfortunately, they seemed to be making that task especially difficult for Inuyasha.

Just when Kagome thought things possibly couldn't get any worse, Yuka effectively set off a bomb.

"The only thing he's capable of is being a hot-headed, impetuous jerk, just like most hanyous."

Yuka had continued talking after that, but Kagome didn't hear what it was, her words drowned out by the blood that pumped through her ears. In her mind, she recalled that day not even two weeks ago, when that man refused to have his car looked at by Inuyasha. How dejected Inuyasha looked knowing how people looked down on him, even if he tried to downplay how it made him feel. She remembered how angry she felt, that someone could think so terribly of him because of something he couldn't help. Yet, as soon as the words spilled from her mouth, Yuka and Eri - people that had been her friends since childhood, people who were kind despite their boldness - had become no different than the man who couldn't stand to do business with a hanyou.

"Excuse me?" Kagome asked, interrupting whatever Yuka was blabbering on about. "How dare you!"

"Kagome - "

"No!" She shouted. "You had no right to say something so awful! Inuyasha can be brash and grumpy, and doesn't always say the right thing, but being a hanyou has nothing to do with anything. How about you guys. Can you hear yourselves right now? I can't believe that two of my closest friends could say something so rude about him. He's been trying so hard tonight to get on your good side - for ME - and all you can do is talk down to him like he's beneath you!"

Yuka and Eri's eyes became as wide as dinner plates, but not just because of the verbal jabs they were being dealt. As Kagome started becoming more expressive by talking with her hands, a faint violet aura was starting to coalesce around her hands. The aura had a texture similar to fog, yet it appeared almost like steam pouring from her skin, slightly see through. The angrier she got, the clearer the wisps became. Kagome didn't seem to notice the change.

"You know what, we're not doing this," Kagome stood up from her chair and gathered up her purse. She looked up just enough to see Inuyasha walking back up to the table and grabbed his jacket.

"I am not going to sit here and make Inuyasha have to go through this. As far as you're now concerned, Inuyasha and I are a packaged deal. So if you want to see me, you'll have to see him, too. But let me be clear, I am not going to let you talk down to the man I love. You can call me back when you're ready to talk like adults. ”

Kagome turned on the spot and grabbed his arm, muttering a small 'let's go', before dragging him back to the car with her. Kagome had still not talked to Inuyasha about what happened that night. Not that he didn't try to bring the subject up, but she was quick to change the subject each time. Kagome didn't trust herself to not blow a gasket if she was forced to relive how angry she had become that night.

Yuka and Eri had blown up her phone with texts, but Kagome ignored all of them. She even went as far as to delete them. Of course they felt bad and wanted to apologize for how they acted, but they were trying to apologize to the wrong person. Inuyasha was the one who deserved their apologies. He was the one who had to sit through dinner with two people who thought nothing good of him. She could eventually forgive them, but only if they squared up with Inuyasha. It was the least they could do.

And, if causing a huge scene at a busy restaurant wasn't enough, Kagome, in her blind fury, had just blurted out to everyone who was in hearing distance that she loved Inuyasha. She groaned as she finally brought her cutting board to the dish pit to start cleaning up. She was almost a hundred percent sure Inuyasha had heard her declaration of love, which only made her feel worse. This was most definitely not the way she wanted to tell him that she loved him. They had only been dating a few months; what if she scared him off? Would he think she was clingy because of it? Or worse, what if he didn't feel the same way? She couldn't ask him to tell her right at this moment if he also loved her, too. That would be asking for far too much. So, Kagome had kept busy the past week, either with work or meaningless activities so they couldn't hash their feelings out.

Kagome spent the next half hour cleaning and taking a quick inventory of the walk-in cooler before clocking out. Inuyasha was waiting for her at the hostess stand. He had taken an early day to hopefully help put Kagome in a better mood than she had been all week.

He had been thinking about that night all week. Inuyasha had just been coming back from the bathroom when he felt a strong aura brush against his youki. At first, he was afraid a rogue youkai was about to start a rampage and became increasingly worried about Kagome. The aura didn't seem like it came from a youkai, but Inuyasha didn't know what else could produce such a sturdy aura. It wasn't until he could properly see their table that he realized what it was. Kagome looked like she was arguing with the two girls; her hands were glowing, purple wisps dancing around her wrists.

'Is that...reiki?' Inuyasha thought. True mikos and monk's were rare nowadays, and Inuyasha had never met one with enough power to be able to summon it. Kagome didn't seem like she noticed, putting all her emotion into her hands as she started waving them towards her friends. At first, he could barely make out what she was saying, but by the time he got to the table, Kagome was practically shouting.

The subsequent car ride home was silent. The energy around Kagome continued to crackle, keeping Inuyasha on edge until they had arrived home; only then did she calm down enough to rear her reiki back, which Kagome still didn't seem to notice. It was as if everyone could see it but her. Inuyasha was perplexed about her sudden burst of spiritual energy, but decided to table his thoughts on the subject; perhaps he would talk to Kagome's mother about it the next time he went to help over at the shrine. They spent the rest of their night watching television and still not talking about what happened at the restaurant before drifting off to sleep.

Inuyasha was still surprised at what he heard that night, to say the least. It was one thing for Kagome to tell him that he had value as a person in private , but to shout it to a whole section of a busy restaurant during the dinner rush was something completely different. Inuyasha didn't hear what her friends had said about him, but whatsoever it was must have been really bad for her to completely freak out like that. Then again, Inuyasha was pretty sure that the worst thing Kagome could think of was probably pretty tame compared to some of the things he's heard. It didn't really matter what they said though. Inuyasha couldn't deny how she felt about him now. Especially after hearing how she loved him.

He had expected her to bring at least that part up in conversation, but Kagome had been doing all she could to not have a sincere conversation with him. He had a feeling that was partly because of how angry she was. Kagome had been pretty tense the first three or four days after - tension, especially in the shoulders, was a sure sign of anger in that woman. But Kagome was the type of girl to get all her feelings out in the open, so not talking about it was extremely out of character for her. Inuyasha was confused by her behavior. Did she think he didn't love her? How could she not; Inuyasha spent almost all his free time with her. Kagome had even started joining his sporadic lunches with Sango, his only other friend, going as far to hang out with the girl without him. Hell, she even got the damn 'seal of approval' from Sesshomaru himself! Inuyasha had let her figure out her emotions all week, but it was time he put her back on the track.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome called out, a little surprised to see him there. "What are you doing here?"

"Just thought I'd come and pick up my favourite girl for the day."

"You know I drove to work, right?" She snickered at the small grin that had appeared in his face.

"Well, then it's a good thing I didn't drive here, isn't it?" He replied, rewarded with a small snort from Kagome. He walked them out the front door, grabbing her purse from her and wrapping his left arm around her shoulder.

"Wouldn't that be me picking you up then?"

"A technicality. It ain't like I'm letting you drive." Their laughter floated all the way to the back parking lot where Kagome's car was parked. Inuyasha made a spectacle out of adjusting her driver's seat, causing her to playfully slap him on the arm. Once they were on the road, and Inuyasha was sure that she wouldn't be able to roll out of the car if the urge came to her, he brought up Yuka and Eri.

"So, have you talked to them?" He asked carefully. Inuyasha could see her stiffen as soon as the words had left his mouth. She pulled up some random social media app on her phone and began to mindlessly scroll.

"Talked to who?"

"You know what I'm talking about wench. Don't play innocent with me."

"What's there to talk about Yash? I'm sure they're sorry and all, but until you get a heartfelt apology from them, then my hands are tied."

"Kagome, they're your friends - "

"Not if they're going to talk down to you! They've acted just like that horrible man from your job almost a month ago. We don't need people like that in our life."

"Kagome…" Inuyasha didn't really know what to say. The thought of asking Kagome to give up anything so that they could be together was almost sickening; it was something he could, and would, never do. Yet, here she was, adamant about completely cutting ties with two people who she had known almost all her life, simply because of him. Inuyasha could feel his throat closing up, a myriad of emotions threatening to explode from his body. Kagome was so loyal to him, so good to him, and so out of his league. He grabbed her hand and held it over the gearshift, gently stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. He would do whatever it took to fix her relationship with those girls. But even if nothing could be salvaged, Kagome would always have him. He was content to serve her however she needed, and that’s when it clicked for him. What they had was more than a passing encounter, or just a spring fling.

“I love you, Kagome,” he muttered softly, bringing her hand up to kiss it tenderly. He heard a small gasp come from the woman beside him. Perhaps it wasn’t the most romantic way he could have told her that, but it felt right. All he felt for Kagome in that moment was pure, unadulterated love. Kagome’s grip on his hand tightened as they continued the drive home, the salty scent of unshed tears filling his senses. Inuyasha would have lots of plans to make, but none of that was important right now; it was nothing that couldn’t wait another day. For now, he would take her home, and tonight would be just for the two of them.