#ugh. i need. the book rn.
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beckory has taken over my mind get these children out of my brain im nor letting them live rent free up there i hope they explode
oh yea the little coloured in guy is my oc everyone say hi to atilla [crickets]
#why are my ships always doomed#whats up w that#can we undoom this one#genuinely insane about them they are my children#okay the family tree is gregorys my son and tony is my son in law#ugh. i need. the book rn.#being an actual GGY lover in a fandom full of āomg ggy confirms gregory is evilā mfs is exhausting#they dont get the angst potential like i do#wriolette is just sipping tea and being old and in love in my brain right now no worries#beckory#eh ig#hi yall hello
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My comic is so pretty...
The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!
#almost done with my 8th episode... which will give me. two weeks. of buffer...#id really like at LEAST a month... but to be more comfortable id like two#which means 2-6 more episodes before I come back!#I've got about 7 weeks so its possible. but i do still have to finish book 4#so much to do ..........#I decided for my next comic im doing 3 updates a month.#having 10 days instead of 7 to make an episode is such a huge huge huge difference...#difference in quality and in my health!#anyways the comic is really pretty im really happy with the work im doing rn#the environments especially. im getting to spend a nice amount of time on them and theyre turning out so nicely#its nice to be able to write with a lot of different environments and not have to redo panels when I get to them cause of time#cause every time theres a wild angle? you need a new background...#so sometimes. often actually. there just isnt the time to make the backgrounds for those and i have to make them more flat...#which is fine. it doesnt really affect anything narratively. but. idk. it's kinda sad right?#anyways yeah! 10 days will be much better.#36 episodes a year is about what ive been uploading with my hiatuses on the weekly schedule anyways!#so might as well cut out that super stressful middleman and just commit to that#52 a year is just such a huge difference and i have to accept its not possible to me#i will hurt myself trying to do that. and i want to make comics my whole life!#so i cant push myself that hard now and sacrifice my future. we're gonna go slower after this...#anyways yeah cant wait to come back but also time. if I could get an extra week like a secret one just for me#where theres no chores no nothin just me and my work#thatd be great! so go ahead and do what you gotta do to give me a little pocket dimension#me: ugh i want to return right now...#the more logical me: NO we need the time to finish everything!!!!!! NOT right now!!!!#time and time again#ttawebcomic#comic panels#hiatus stuff#adam and steve
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I cannot stop watching cop shows
I mean, I'm enjoying the experience. It's just that I've watched all 12 seasons of Bones, and now I have less than 2,5 seasons of Castle left to watch. I think I might just start The Mentalist next. No one can stop me, not even me
#at least i'm reading on the side#ugh i need to write reviews#i don't even remember which book my last one was about#*aaaaaaa*#anyways#maddie talks#personal#i'm reading where the dark stands still rn btw#in case you were wondering
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Back to watching Elementary again, another aspect of the show I enjoy is Sherlockās open adoration and appreciation of Watson both as a person and a fellow detective. I think thatās something that has been lost in a lot of Holmes adaptions - started mainly by the Basil Rathbone/Nigel Bruce movies - of Watson being a comedic foil to Holmes, an inept bungler that Sherlock puts up with.
I feel like even in adaptions that have Holmes/Watson having a good relationship, there is this sense of exasperation coming from Holmes about some of Watsonās behaviors (BBC and RDJ come to mind). In Elementary, once Sherlock accepts and embraces his love for Watson, he never really backs down from it. We rarely see him frustrated with her, and if so itās because of her actions not personality clashes. He knows heās weird and obnoxious and adapts to Watsonās habits without making a big eye rolling deal out of it.
#cbs elementary#i dont think I'm explaining myself well#but like elementary sherlock LIKES his watson#and even when he is frustrated with her its not like a 'ugh watson you moron'#its always from a place of love and concern#idk we were talking in sherlock club a few weeks ago on how the sherlock/watson relationship has changed over adaptions#how some believed holmes being fondly exasperated of watson was part of the charm#but i argued even in the books holmes treats watson like his lil buddy#he fucken loves solving mysteries and going to the opera with him#he isn't as accomodating as Elementary Holmes (an improvement) but he genuinely cares for watson#idk something something mutual respect and acknowledging someone asthey are without fanfare#im very tired rn idk why i felt the need to put this into words
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finally caved and started reading all for the game. two chapters into the foxhole court and what kind of gay fucking shit is this! also did not know there were sports in here
#idk whats going on i thought it was like the raven cycle with magic and shit its called the foxhole court??? no fae???? what the fuck!!!#and i cant understand whats happening with the sports. i didnt get it. i hope i dont need to i just know kevin is top dog of the bad dogs#neil is mid mid except hes got a death wish so they want him carnally???#ill be reading it super slowly bc im busy but i can feel it slowly turning up the heat on my brain cells as i read. they are burning.#ive got naught but ten#and neil's not neil but he is and he has a bag of secrets he's hiding in someone else's closet like okayyyy go off author fuck whats the#authors name.... nora sakavic FUCK I SHOULDVE KNOWN NEVER TO TRUST A WOMAN NAMED NORA#i dont know...i dont know.... but also the only gay neil i know is the one from dead poets society and its hard to separate the two rn#is the rest of the book going to be like this what did i get myself into. am i mentally prepared#bc i wasnt for trc and it FUCKED! ME! UP! im STILL insane#ugh. ugh. anyway. way gayer than expected. also at one point someone asks ''how safe is safe'' and MY DISAPPOINTMENT#when the answer wasnt safe as life? immeasurable. in fact i had to close the book. went to study accounting.#ACCOUNTING. HELLO?? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME IN HERE???#the tree speaks#all for the game#aftg#what are yalls tags?#neil josten#the raven cycle#trc
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tuna I was just telling shep this, but between shep's dbhc au and your sen au and reading redstone and skulk, helsknight and evil xisuma have built like a permanent house in my mind lmao
I'm going to start shaking uncontrollably I am filled with horrors unbeknownst to anyone else < just knows a little too much about all the au helsknights
this is so funny though. take my hand. we can make you exponentially worse
#LIVING RENT FREE I TELL YOU#the sen au hels chokehold is REAL#aND DBHC TOO#freaking. UGH#dont get me started on rns#i need to freaking. send an ask to skye about the last three chapters#i have. THOUGHTS. FEELINGS.#holds rns helsknight in my arms like a squirmy cat#artsy you wanna talk about rns with me sooo baaaad#asks#text#artsy-book
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Iām so excited it finally have KitTy in tlkof but i AM NOT READY for the heartache i will have when they get separated again and what i mean is like with Will and Tessa, Will couldnāt be with her because of his curse and then she was engaged to Jem, then James and Cordelia where James believe he was in love with Grace, Clary and Jace and how they believed they were siblings because of Valentine, and Julian and Emma couldnāt be together because they were Parabatai, so there will most definitely be something that will tear Kit and Ty apart which i am not ready for because it would mean that they would kiss in tlkof and be totally in love with each tiger and then be away from each other in the second book and then finally have their happy ending in the last shadowhunter, iāll be very glad that theyāll finally be together but then that would mean we wouldnāt get that much KitTy content afterwardsš i hope cassie does something different with their relationship (even though i doubt it)
but if she does do their relationship like her previous book then that means Kit and Ty will definitely have more than one kiss before they finally and officially together since most of the characters i mentioned earlier kissed in the second book
#ugh i am not ready for the angst#i need this book#iām sorta in a reading slump rn after reading aftg but i might reread tmi#iām so excited but so afraid#WHICH MEANS THEYLL HAVE THEIR HEARTS BROKEN AGAIN#the shadowhunter chronicles#the wicked powers#kit herondale#ty blackthorn#kit x ty#tlkof#kit rook#the last king of faerie
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Guess who just finished Tempest Runner /pos
#yael is reading star wars#sw#star wars#the high republic#star wars the high republic#sw thr#lourna dee#tempest runner#anyway!!!!#i'm at a really good pace since i finished two books in one week#starting medstar ii rn i think so that's good#i'll get to the fallen star in no time if i keep it up like this#if medstar ii is as good as medstar i i'll be on a good books streak#ugh i need financial compenstation for lournasestin#what if i write a tempest runner lournasestin fix-it that's just lourna going with sestin#idk how but think of it!#they're so quinobi and sifodooku coded it's unreal#the high republic comics
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i think the craziest part of the percy jackson seriesā(warning iām gonna be talking about child abuse)
āis that sally married gabe. āshe was using him to hide percyās demigod scent.ā she married a man who physically abused her child. like. i get itās a very nuanced situation and that demigods literally donāt even exist but yk what does exist? moms who marry men that abuse their childrenā¦ like girl. there are plenty of bum ass men who smoke weed and eat pizza and looove their ciggies and instead of abusing ur kid they would straight up ignore him and if they were a demigod their scent would STILL be hidden
#solās orangutan hours#idk being hungover is making me nostalgic <3 like im experiencing memories thru another pov hehe <3 <3#ok no jk thatās fucked up and also the last sentence of the post is giving v much āumm just donāt marry bad men š„øāļø its not that fucking ha#d#but sue me iām just a girl i remember reading a book in the eighth grade where this girl was in percyās shoes and she got so pissed that sh#threw a glass bottle and him and then made a run for it#and her agreement was that if she could do that as a child why couldnāt her mom fight back for her daughter#*argumentā¦. ugh iām literally feeling crazy rn lemme make some typos#it was a peter pan retelling and i agreed heavily w that at the time so ik my opinion of thag should have prob changed as iāve grown up#but it hasnāt bc likeā¦ thatās your kid. your tiny kid. and your letting ur grown man put their hands on them#*youre!!! omgā¦ i need to go to sleep#and also not saying that sally isnāt strong!! she is she literally survived that shit and protected her son#but while doing so she inadvertently contributed to his abuse#and i feel like thatās not talked about enough#hopefully i explained this well my tummy HURTS
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Also, before I forget: Happy Holidays! I am still sort of suffering with this stupid ass toothache. But I hope you all are having a good one today and tomorrow! And on New Years as well! And I also hope that next year will be nicer on all of us. And hopefully next year I'll write more-- knowing me though, I'd still have Jay brainrot, constantly thinking of that lego man who is doomed by the narrative! I doubt I'll be streaming any time soon anyway. Mainly 'cos ugh toothache. So I'll be streaming next year, wink wink.
But I hope you all have a stress-free holiday this year! I'll certainly try!
#ooc. mun#( currently chilling in bed. reading. i gotta get 12/12 of my goodreads rn but i'll probably reach 11/12 if i finish this book )#( i need the urge and the mood to read more ugh )
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#i have multiple discord servers for vent shit but unfortanely my sister is on all of them and i dont wanna bother her so#yeah everyone ignore this i just need to fucking explode#my mother is pissing me off so fucking much rn#she never shuts the fuck up#only cares about her own damn fucking problems#shes going on about how she cant find a book and she needs my help and im like mom#i just spilled water on my laptop can you stfu#and you know what she fucking says?#well maybe if you didnt always hide in your room with your computer#first of all im a fucking adult and istg once i have enough money im blowing this fucking stand in a heartbeat#and second of al#I WAS OUTSIDE#BECAUSE FOR ONCE IN MY FUCKING LIFE I WAS TRYING TO GET SOME FRESH AIR#IM SICK OF BEING INSIDE#BUT WHEN I GO OUTSIDE SHE CAN COME TO ME WHICH I HATE MORE#so i try to go outside for once and what does it fucking get me#well the fucking water on my computer and audio issues#which thank God i fixed but ugh am i still pissed the fuck off#and my fucking ābest friendā can barely give me the fucking time of day#leaves me on delivered for days at a time#and then straight up ignores my questions and wont fucking talk to me#but oh they'll call me randomly if they need my help#like is that all i fucking am to you?#UGH#trying to breathe#im going to put on headphones and writing gay fanfiction that always cheers me up
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isnt this just gorgeous
#i havent been reading much these few days i started & finished a book about the prophet's (pbuh) character during the last 10 ramadan days#and finished the last hour of my audiobook. but rn i'm not in the mood for digitals i need a physical book#i'll be back in my uni town next week first stop is the library š¼#been a good reading year so far hamdulillah ugh it's great i pulled myself out of a years long reading slump god bless#i love libraries i love library cards <3333#nesi rants
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Realizing I need to like. Get into other fandoms bc TSC alone isn't doing it rn
#like i see the same takes and they're all bad and then i see worse ones smh#jenny.txt#i feel like it's mainly bc of Cassie's break rn and no new content in a couple of months but also. the last book was bad so.#idk lol but ive been thinking abt branching out#but i don't know what to#ugh this isn't a fun feeling#i need something to be OBSESSED with again#at least until twp
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It's been so long since I've read anything kingkiller chronicles related but the narrow road between desires was so unexpectedly emotional and sweet
#bast being so gentle with children is killing me#when he hugs rike............oh my fucking god.....#and the way he (in his severe ''we have just performed extremely powerful fae magic'' way) like#methodically and intensely tells rike that under no circumstances is he a bad person#silly and selfish bast looking an abused child in the eye and telling them they are not irredeemable because they've done bad things#ugh. ugh!!!!!#i don't have the time or energy to reread the kingkiller chronicles but i think i need to MAKE time lmao#the first (and last) lines of the first chapters are like. tattooed in my brain#gritting my teeth i have so many books to read i CANNOT read TWO 500 PAGE NOVELS RN#I HAVE SO MANY LIBRARY BOOKS#thank u rothfuss. writing IS hard#was neil gaiman the one who said ''the words will come back to you eventually'' or something like that#pressure and expectations can kill the love of something very quickly#and frankly i dipped my toes into the kingkiller fandom once and was really weirded out by just how many people acted like they were OWED#book 3#anyway: bast and his bisexual arrangements with emberlee and dax and kholi are so funny to me#im not 100% sure what was being implied but the possibility of it being a four way friends with benefits thing is so silly#also also it is always a treat to read present day kote/kvothe#book 1 kvothe was great but i didn't really like book 2 kvothe#then again its been years since ive read it so maybe i misinterpreted but he felt very arrogant#i think that may have been on purpose?? but idk ill have to reread them sometime#innkeeper kote my beloved#honestly ''innkeeper being a secret badass'' trope in general my beloved. gotta be my favorite type of character
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LOVE ME THE MOST THE MOST YOU POSSIBLY CAN!!!!!! LOVE ME THE MOST I NEED TO BE THE ONLY THING IN YOUR MIND
#mine#šø#vibrating at immense speeds rn ajskwkfllflwncf the MOST THE MOST ever#the only thing in your mind i need to be the BEST the most loved augh im not doing anything wrong but its still not ENOUGH#why cant i be satisfied. but at the same time LOVE ME MORE AND MORE AND MORE UNTIL LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE EXISTS#i need to add more fuel to the fire of our love but i dont know what to do exactly... clearly mentioning the issue didnt work#idk i literally want him to kill me or something i need to be consumed by love. ah all of our mutual friends are quickly going to#learn how fucking mentally ill i can get. im not ready for them to but if hes telling them these things then theyre gonna KNOW#love me more more more i thought you used to be scared of how much you loved me. obsess over me again!!!!!!#if im not the one doing anything wrong what is the problem. what is preventing you from loving me the most you possibly can!!!#if its something with me I'll just kill that part of me. ugh he wouldnt want me partaking in unhealthy thoughts like this#so what is there to do? i need to drown in the grain silo of love. there isnt enough to drown in rn though... i cant just#make him love me more. an evil oriented solution would be to make everyone hate him so he just loves me but thats a horrible thing to do#and id feel bad about it forever. so im not gonna do THAT i want him to be happy. but even when hes happy he isnt loving me intensely#i need to be desired i need to be ripped open like a phone book ā_ā#everyone is learning how insane abt him i am and its kind of embarrassing. well my feelings i guess. it is embarrassing to have feelings#if this whole situation was an asmr youd be listening to it willingly. but its NOT arent you supposed to like me like this#im overthinking this hes probably just depressed which is making it difficult to be insane
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back to the dating app š¶
#got inspired to try it again š#i have a date semi planned now and all of the women in portland are obsessed w me or whatever#bc i like love and dating ppl but i keep falling in love with friends and it HAS NOT ENDED WELL ONCE so maybe stop it you dumbass#(this may be caused by the fact iāve gotten my hopes up a bit abt a friend of mine but i should NOTā¦ unlessā¦)#i crave companionship#and am#also so scared all the time iām soooooososcaredddd rn#why canāt everyone just love me all the time#must be my personality bc iām like really hot rn#also me swiping on ppl just looking for hookups them matching and just š³ i do not know if iām at a point in my life where i am confident eno#ugh to do that š³#as previously stated iām so so scared#idk iām conflicted and need to over share about it#idk will continue flirting w that one friend tho#even though flirting with eachother is an ongoing joke in this friend group so i donāt think she would take it seriously lmao#was telling my dear good pal to come over and suck my fingers yesterday like thatās just how it is#anyway sheās cool and makes childrens books and stories and loves dinasours and is tall and can jump really high#we got drunk together at my friends bday and bonded and it was SO CUTE#also she cries a lot when sheās high but doesnāt notice (sheās not even sad thereās just tears lol)#ruh roh just typed that all out and realized it seems like iām obsessed w her š³#going to hit my head on a wall okay goodnight
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