#ugh. how tf can i calm myself down now

[viktoriaashleyyx]

My thoughts during different points in ACOTAR.

(It been like 2 months since I read it so these aren't direct quotes but I remember my reactions)

*Feyre contemplating killing the wolf. I remember her thinking "it could be a fae, I'm pretty sure it's a fae but realistically it's probably just a wolf and I am an emaciated teenager so I better use the element of surprise to kill it before it kills me."

Fair. Fair judgment. Can't argue with that tbh I do the same with yellow jackets (I'm surprised I don't see this take that often)

Lucien being mad at her for killing what she has now confirmed was Andres

Bro, she was a starving human and Tamlin did a good job at making him look like a wolf. Also, isn't that what you wanted her to do? Be mad at Amarantha, not some 19 yr old. (First and last time I disagreed with Lucy baby). At least Andres didn't die in vain like the others did now you have a shot.

"You can tell us your name, you can eat the food and we are not affected by iron. We can lie. We are affected by ash though."

Elves. You're elves. Why write Faerie if you're just gonna shit on everything that makes a Faerie, a Faerie?

Explaining the masks nonsense:

Bro you ever seen a man in a hat? Covering parts of a man's face makes them hotter. That's why they can grow beards

Hybern comes up and I am listening to the Audio books so sjm can't hide behind the spelling change.

Okay so we are just taking a shit on the Irish with this shit huh? (Hibernia is the original Latin name for Ireland)

"Dance Feyre"

Awwwe 😍

Tamlin writing her limericks and and then was super chill about her not knowing how to read even though she was pretty confrontational about it. He kept his cool, and reassured her and tried to teach her a little bit.

Awwwwwwwe 😍 they're getting along. Not mad at anyone here tbh. I can see why feyre would be ashamed and scared, but tam handled it well.

Rhysand shows up at the manor and Lucien stands in front of Feyre to shield her

Ugh go away RhySAnd you asshat. But also: Damn Lucy 😍.

RhySAnd makes Tamlin and Lucien beg to not tell Amarantha

I know this is a power play and I am supposed to think RhySAnd is the hot one, but.. to humble yourselves like that. To do anything in your power to protect her even if it's embarrassing. Damn. Tamtam and Lucy you have my heart.

Tamlin sending her away

Say it. Say it. Say it. Please feyre say you love him.

RhySAnd twisting her broken arm to get her to agree to a deal.

(By this point I had spoiled it for myself and knew that RhySAnd was the fan favorite) Bro what the fuck did he do to make up for this?

RhySAnd having her painted and drugging her to dance for him until she vomited.

Babygirl I am glad no penetration happened but like WHAT THE FUCK DID HE DO TO MAKE UP FOR THIS??

Feyre contemplating "he's a fae and I am a human, I'm fighting to have maybe a few decades with him at best"

First off babygirl you haven't even been alive for 2 decades yet, calm down. Second, they're gonna turn her fae. Please don't "turn" her fae that's not how that works these aren't vampires.

Tamlin crawls to Feyre still bleeding, kills Amarantha when the other High Lords couldn't, and then holds her the way she had told him she wanted to be held when she dies.

Tam, baby, how did you fumble so hard? What tf do you do in the next book that makes people like RhySAnd more?? It makes me not want to keep reading but also want to keep reading cause what the fuck.

She dies and is revived by the high lords and turned fae.

They fucking turned her fae. This isn't how this works. Holly black did it better with the "hey I know you think you're a human but really you're a changeling." (Tithe, I haven't finished her other stuff yet idk what goes on with Jude)

[hypegirl1]

I should have never spoken(ya Cove Holden x gn reader)

AN:Well hello everyone! I´m currently working on the halloween special,meanwhile just a little something I made,I recently finished the game Our Life and I´m so obssesed with Cove he´s such a cutie(why tf is this so long help?) Warnings:This may contain spoilers from the game! Genre:Angst,fluff Word count:1332 Summary:After fixing Miranda´s and Terri´s argument,you feel the need to tell Cove the truth,why you became friends with him in the first place,but it looks like he didn´t liked it that much...

-I´m glad they got together again

+Me too,I was scared that it could have been something more serious or that Terri wouldn´t have wanted to speak to Miranda about it....but things came out good

You finally felt better,you were in your room with your boyfriend Cove,both of you had just finished fixing a little argument that was going on between your friends Terri and Miranda,you were nervous this would lead to something worse,but that wasn´t the case.

The whole talk about fixing problems made you think something...how back then Cove´s dad had offered you 20 $ to be friends with his son. You felt guilty about it,you always felt this pressure on your chest that came together with anxiety and bunch of "what ifs" anytime you thought about it. You hated feeling like this,keeping this secret for so much time only made it worse every single day that passed by,but you also were scared,what would happen if you revealed it? and if you didn´t? would Cove find someday on his own? Would he...leave you for this?

Cove noticed that you were absent thinking about something,your gaze was lost,which made him concerned about you.

-Hey...is everything okay?You look like you´re thinking about something

+I...

How to put it?Or should you actually? You were starting to get anxious about this that you didn´t noticed your hands were shaking,Cove took your hands which made you return back to reality

-Hey hey,calm down,what´s wrong? You can tell me anything

Enough,you had to tell him,you couldn´t hold the guilt you´ve been feeling through all this years anymore.

+Cove,I need to tell you something...

He looked curious and worried at the same time.

+But please,please...promise me that what I´m going to tell you isn´t going to change anything between us,that you won´t leave me

-Y/N don´t say that,I would never leave you

You swallowed and got ready for the truth,your voice was trembling but you still tried to put everything together.

+Well...remember when we were kids and you first moved in?

He noded while looking at you,he looked as nervous as you were.

+The first person I met wasn´t you,but your dad,when- ugh,when I was coming back home I met him,he...he offered me 20$ to be your friend

Oh god,you did it,and what now???Cove didn´t even say anything,he was shocked,you were so scared that you started to shake even more and it was harder to pronounce a single word now.

+I don´t know what to say I- I´m sorry I can explain-

You didn´t even get to finish before Cove got up from your bed and left your house running

+Cove wait! Please! I can explain!

Tears started to roll down your face,you tried following him but when he got to the entrance to your house he left slamming the door

+Fuck!

What were you supposed to do now? You collapsed onto the floor crying,did you just lost the first and only person you loved?

+Why...why...why did I have to say that?! I should have kept it to myself and suffered through my whole life!

The sound of heavy footsteps got you back into reality,it was your sister Liz

-What was that door slam?! Y/N! What´s wrong are you okay?

With the help of Liz,you got back up,tears still in your eyes

+Liz...

You inmediately hugged her,she didn´t knew what was going on but she hugged you back trying to calm you down.After you relaxed a little bit,you sat on the couch with her and explained everything.

+And...I don´t know what to do now,I don´t even know if he´ll want to listen to me or if he´ll believe me or-

-Hey,listen,if he loves you,he´ll listen and believe your words,he loves you more than anything in this world,maybe it was just the shock of the situation that made him act like that

+I hope so...

-Get up,go get him and talk about it,that´s the strong point of your relationship,you always find a solution to everything and you both always talk things,come on,go for him

+Thank you Liz....

She wiped the tears from your face,you inmediately got up and left the house,he couldn´t have gone too far.You decided to go to his house first,maybe he locked himself in his room after this.

After knocking,the door opened inmediately,meeting Mr Holden

-Hey Y/N,everything okay?

He gave you a worried look,you realized it must have been the redness in your eyes and the marks on your cheeks from crying

+Oh,yeah nothing,is Cove here?

-No,I thought he was at your house? He didn´t came in

+Oh...okay then I´ll go get him

-What?

+It´s- hard to explain I´m sorry,I´ll tell you later

You left the house and started running towards the poppy hill behind your house,leaving Mr Holden behind worried and confused,there was no other place Cove could be.

And there he was

The sun was setting,you saw Cove sitting looking at the distant waves with a sad look on his face,you walked towards him.

+Cove,I need to explain things to you...

He didn´t say anything and just kept his gaze fixated on the sea,you sat next to him and looking down,you spoke

+I don´t know what your mind is thinking right now about this situation,but I´m sure it´s not what I think....

You got a deep breath and continued

+I accepted the money,yes,but my mind changed the moment I saw you,it didn´t matter if it was because of the money or not,but I wanted to get to know you,I wanted to be your friend...I always felt guilty about it,and I was scared to tell you because I didn´t knew how you would react to this,but the guilt was killing me...Anytime I thought about it my heart would ache,because I was scared that if I told you,I´d lose you,and I don´t want that...

Cove looked at you with a soft gaze,waiting for you to continue

+The thing is...that if you think that everything we have now and we had in the past,it´s because of 20$,then you´re wrong,because I love you Cove,and I´m saying this with my whole heart...

You could feel your eyes start to get wet,fuck

-Y/N I...I´m sorry,I should have listened to you first instead of running away like a kid,but I thought that-that you were lying,that everything you felt about me was a lie

+Cove no,don´t say that...my mind changed the moment I saw you,everything I think about you is true,I would never lie to you

-Then tell me thruth...

+The truth?

You looked at him confused,there weren't any secrets left to say,so what was he talking about?

-Do you actually love me?

+What?I- I told you right now-

-I want to hear it...

You thought that this was the only way of Cove believing you,so you agreed and grabbed his hands while you looked at him

+Cove,there's no one else in this world that I love more than you,you're my everything,I can't imagine my life without you,because you're the most important part of it,I always loved and I will always love you Cove,I love you...

You could feel your eyes starting to tear up again,you tried looking away to hide the tears

-I'm sorry...

+Sorry?for what?

-I made this situation worse by running away and hiding,that was childish,I should have listened to you but I just...the moment I heard you say that I thought that everything we lived together was a lie,but I was wrong,and only because I didn't listened to you,I'm sorry...

+It's okay,I'm glad you understand,sorry for mentioning it,I should have kept it to myself

-Don't say that,keeping it would have only made it worse,do you feel better now that you told me?

+I do,way better actually,keeping this secret was slowly ending me

You both looked at each other with a soft gaze,Cove opened his arms for a hug and you gladly took the offer,wrapping your arms in the warmest hug ever,as Cove kissed your forehead

+Don't ever think that my love for you is a lie,because that is not true

-I won't,I love you Y/N

-I love you Cove

[v-v-void]

Realized today that my "special Interest" is also the thing I started researching daily because it was the only thing I could do that didn't completely piss my abusive ex of. The only thing I could do on my phone that wouldn't start shit. I couldn't talk to anyone without it being an issue. Playing games on my phone felt like... idk it made the days drag on. It made living life feel more like running on a hamster wheel and that didnt help my situation but it was a way to pass the time without setting him off. Mind you everything i set it him off abruptly. I had lost any interest in books. I couldn't write. I got a really nice paint set, pastels, water colors and an easel because art class was the only class I'd go to and passed. I didn't even get a chance to use it because I brought it to his house so I had something to do while he played his x box. But anytime I talked about wanting to try it, he would either make fun of me or tell me I wasn't any good anyways so why would my mom even get it for me. Still to this day. I'm obsessed with the way oil pastels feel in my hand. How smooth it goes on a canvas. The way you can blend them together and everything looks soft. The way you can change your strokes and the texture changes. Even the way it looks when you drag a paper towel across it. Ugh. I suck at art but I love it. Painting too. But pastels will forever hold a spot in my heart. And I haven't touched any since before I got the art supplies back then. It's the only thing I wish I went back for or asked someone to grab for me. But it wasn't worth it.

With that being said. It didn't matter what I did. His moods were so.. unpredictable..

Any who. Astrology. That was my thing

Never felt much like a Leo. Still don't most of the time. But at least now I know why. Now I see more than just the basic sun sign and I can never get enough. Still to this day.

I'll just sit here and save post after post and compare it to stuff I've already learnt. And yet I go blank when anyone asks about it because I'm afraid to sound stupid. The odd time someone asks and pushed for me to share a little.. I will go off on a tangent, get embarrassed, feel like I don't make sense and then I'll wish I kept my mouth shut and pretended I didn't know anything. At least then I wouldn't sound stupid because now I don't male any sense.

Fucking hell this guy messed me up. I'm afraid people will think I'm stupid for believing in it. I'm afraid I'll sound stupid or people pretend to care. Or they ask about it and I say I know alot and yet.. when asked.. I shut down. So how tf will someone believe me.

Same goes for when people ask about what happened and what he did to me behind closed doors.. I got told I had ptsd and I felt like that was absurd because he hadn't hit me.. the damage is so clearly there. And yet I still feel like people don't believe me. It's awful to say but I wish he hit me. Bruises heal... not this though. This dude lives in my head rent free and makes sure I'm terrified and second guessing everything and everyone. It's rare for me to feel calm. To feel comfortable. Or confident. I'm afraid to try because I don't feel good enough. I don't know myself because he turned me into a husk of a person. He fed on the power he had over me and I've tried to deny it but he still does. And I hate myself for that. I feel weak. And scared.. and just.. so fucking angry. How tf did I let someone who treated me the way he did, cause me to fuck up my education. And now I'm lost and stuck and I feel unsafe with everyone and don't know how to let anyone be here.. but I'm so tired and I just want to feel safe with someone again. Tf is wring with ne

[babydinojojo]

Entry 2/Day 2

HOW THE FUCK DID I FORGET TO TELL HER I JOINED, HOW THE FUCK DID I GET MAD FOR ASSUMING SHE WAS CHEATING ON ME, HOW TF DO I GET MAD OVER EVERY LITTLE FUCKING THING. I HATE MYSELF FOR NOT FUCKING TELLING HER, IM TRYING MY BEST TO TELL HER EVERYTHING BUT SOMETIMES I FUCKING FORGET, IM SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT BRO WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME.. SHE FUCKING TELLS ME FUCKING EVERYTHING. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME BRO WHY CAN'T I KEEP MY DAMN MOUTH SHUT, I LOVE HER SO FUCKING MUCH AND ALL I FUCKING CARED ABOUT WAS THE "BF" PART. SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN FOREVER, I DIDNT KNOW IT ALSO MEANT BEST FRIEND, WHY DID I GET MAD AT THAT ONE PART, IM SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF UGH I JUST WANNA THROW MY GODDAMN BEAR AND FUCK SHIT UP.. UGH... IM WORRIED ABOUT HER AND HER FRIEND.. I HOPE HER FRIEND IS GONNA BE OKAY CAUSE I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO HAVE SOMEONE ABUSIVE IN THEIR LIVES AKA MY GODDAMN BROTHER... BUT I CAN'T EVEN TELL HER SHIT AT ALL AND LET ALONE I CAN'T STOP ASSUMING THE GODDAMN WORSE... I DIDNT EVEN TELL HER I WAS IN THE SERVER, I WAS GONNA LEAVE BUT I FORGOT ABOUT IT.... ITS NOT FAIR TO HER CAUSE SHE TELLING ME EVERY FUCKING THING AND YES SHE FORGETS BUT ITS FUCKING OKAY, AND ME I KEEP TRYING BUT I FAIL MISERABLY AT THIS SHIT.. I ALWYAS DO, AND IM THE ONE THATS ALWAYS STRESSING ABOUT "THERE ARE NO SECRETS IN A RELATIONSHIP" BUT I CAN'T EVEN DO THAT ONE THING... LOOK IM JUST SCARED OF LOSING HER TO ANYTHING FOR EVERY FUCKING THING.... LOOK MAYBE I'M JUST UPSET BECAUSE THIS IS ANOTHER GUY THAT IS TALKING TO HER... BUT ITS OKAY BECAUSE I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO GODDAMN SHARE AND NOT GET JEALOUS.. IT'S HARD KNOWING THAT YOUR GF IS TALKING TO ANOTHER BOY RN BUT THATS OKAY BECAUSE I TRUST HER.... I JUST NEED TO GET OVER IT.. I REALLY NEED TO START TELLING HER SHIT... I HAVE AN IDEA.. IMMA MAKE A GOOGLE DOC AFTER I POST THIS SO THAT WAY I CAN WRITE DOWN WHAT I NEED TO REMEBER TO TELL HER AND IF I FORGET I CAN REFER TO THE GOOGLE DOC AND THEN I CAN PUT A CERTAIN TIME TO TELL HER.. YEA YEA THATS A GREAT IDEA.. AND IF I FORGET... I NEED TO PUNISH MYSELF SOMEHOW.. I WILL FIGURE THAT OUT LATER.. BUT YEA GOING FORWARD GOOGLE DOC WRITE WHAT I NEED TO TELL HER DOWN AND USE TUMBLR AS WELL TO TELL HER.... SHE MIGHT NOT BELIEVE IN FOREVER BUT I DO I BELIEVE IN FOREVER.. YES WE ARE GOING THROUGH A ROUGH PATCH IN OUR RELATIONSHIP CURRENTLY, BUT I KNOW WE CAN PULL THROUGH WE ARE SO GODDAMN STRONG WE'VE BEEN THROUGH WORSE BEFORE.. SO THIS IS NOTHING.. WE CAN GET THROUGH THIS.. TOGETHER.. LIKE YOU ALWAYS SAY JORDAN ITS GONNA BE OKAY ALRIGHT... ITS GONNA BE OKAY BECAUSE NOW YOU HAVE A PLAN GOING FORWARD :)

Calm now Jordan??

Good :)

Now go get them tiger

[eldritch-araneae]

Bumblebee

Welcome to my long post about this boi because he's my fav ahah!

First impression:

In 2011 it I watched the first Transfromers baymovie. It was the "ohh he's an alien who quickly befriended a hum that so cool I love him!" thing, I so easy to please when it comes to interspecies relationships. I enjoyed the movies and Bumblebee quickly became my fav.

Then love for him solidified more and I found out about his G1 version and his info immediately spoke to me om personal level. He's cute, getting along human and seem gentle, but he also struggles with hiS place in the world and among his own friends.

It hit close to home.

Impression now:

I know I keep repeating myself a lot, but Bumblebee deserves a good writing! I want to see this original self with his struggles to be properly explored!

It only he wouldn't fall into " cute mascot of the show" box =/

He has so much potential for incredible character arc. This subject rarely appears, and if it does, it usually resolved quickly, which is not how it works.

In Plight of the Bumblebee from old marvel comics, he gets depressed ( yes, not just upset) about he don't feel belong among Autobots. He feels useless and even responsible for losing the battle ("If I were more help" ), firmly believing no one will notice if he's gone. He wishes to be a human because humans are weak, and if he was a human, someone would need him.

Then he just runs away without a word.

And then much later in Go for a Gold & Win if You Dare he compares himself to meteors, that burn in atmosphere before making any impact. And even if they do - they crush to pieces. Not to mention he constantly talks himself down ( "I'm not smart as Wheeljack", "I'm not strong as Grimlock") almost through entire the comic.

This this depressing as fuck, and believe me, just because your friends saved you or because you realized the importance of teamwork those feelings will not go away. Sure you will feel validated for few day, but they will come again, and again, and again.

He feels alienated from his own people, he feels weak, useless and unwanted, he has a constant need to prove himself, even if it kills him. His highest stat is courage, and this is probably why!

All this brings up an important question I haven't found a answer: what happened to him?!

Insecurities, especially like these, never appear out of thin air!

He shows signs of neglect at best, or abuse at worst.

Dreamwave's Guide said that Sunstreaker is bulling him and constantly makes fun of his failures in front other Autobots who laugh, believing it's just teasing. But cmon, I don't need tell you how damaging this shit is, especially when it's done for years.

But sadly, it's just a guide, it's not even a comic, so why?? Why not explore this??? Like seriously!

Even in TFA where it was shown that Bumblebee was abused in bootcamp, but the show never, ever made it a trauma, which is ridiculous! Optimus, Ratchet and Prowl had their own struggles, but Bumblebee must remain okay? As if being constantly picked up, and his legs being detached while he was locked isn't traumatizing enough??? I swear, people don't realized how bulling can break people and drive them to suicide ugh.

Another thing that bothers me is why Bumblebee needs to die (Goldbug) in order to become mature and stop stressing about what others thinks? And if he reverts back to Bumblebee, his insecurities are suddenly back as if nothing happened??

This is why I will not calm down until I see proper writing for him. I will demand his presence in each TF media and I don't care if fandom hates him xD

Because cmon, you can have a character with struggles and dark secrets who is also is full of hear and tender =/

Seriously, hire me Hasbro!

Favorite moment:

Ohhh there are so many across multiple continuities! I love every moment when he interact with his human friends and Windblade! ))) And generally Bumblebee is such delight to see, even if I picky about his looks ahah.

Idea for a story:

This is entirety of Sparkpulse! He not only has insecurities, but he has to deal with horrific trauma and phobias. He' not just a cute mascot or angry boi - this Bumblebee can do both!

He's like force of nature, a benevolent being who will bear many blessings to people he care about, to people who treat him kindness and respect...but if you wrong him, you will pay in full.

I explore a lot for ideas here. Like anger is not being inherently evil emotion, but a useful and powerful tool if controlled.

Or the fact that cute and kind character can be genially terrifying if he want to be.

He has so much compassion, but at the same time he can be relentless and merciless. Yet even here, he knows the price of life and will only resort to killing if literally anything else failed.

He's dedicated and wise, but also too hard on himself.

He's incredibly strong, but this strength is not limitless. Bumblebee must learn to rely on others, that it's okay to be weak, that he doesn't have to be useful in order to live.

This journey is long and full of hardship, but he's not alone and with his friends help he will let himself to make a first step towards healing.

Unpopular opinion:

I would only say that Bee is not bad character and actually can very complex. It's just Hasbro refuses to write him properly, sadly not many ppl see it and explore possibilities.

Oh well, I will have to do it myself then)

Favorite relationship:

I love his relationship with Windblade, like said in her post, it's very Ghibli like and full of love. I also love his relationships with humans! I would say much more, but I'm a bit tired and I don't know where to start.

Also his relationship with Starscream is such fun concept, that I will dive into it in my cont!

Favorite headcanon:

Oh gosh, there are way too many of them, the entire Sparkpusle is build on headcanons and ideas xD

[kimannhart]

a belated birthday fic for my sweet jess @lovelyirony. hope you like this!!

~~

Interestingly enough, the Twitter account had been Bruce’s idea. 

“Tony, admit it. This is a great idea! We can talk about how hot...” Bruce paused and looked around for their teammates. After seeing Clint sitting on top of the fridge, he decided to play it safe, dropped his voice down to a whisper, and not mention any names, “... they are without them knowing.”

Tony looked at Bruce unconvincingly. “I dunno, Brucie. Don’t you think they’ll know?”

“Only if we make it obvious.” 

There’s a moment of hesitation before Tony sighs, fully giving into the idea. “Okay.”

“Yes!”

~~

@songsandfoods: Hi, we’re a new Twitter account. I am Sad Songs. I share this account with my friend, Breakfast Burritos, and we will be using this account to mainly talk about our crushes. Hope you enjoy our ramblings! -S.S.

@songsandfoods: I saw a new pap photo of James today. Gosh, he just looked so elegant wearing that navy blue polo of his. The way his arms just looked so buff? I’m swooning. - S.S.

@songsandfoods: I didn’t see Thor today, but I know he looked good. - B.B.

@songsandfoods: Not to be horny on the main, but like... Thor could rail me if he wanted to - B.B.

@songsandfoods: I! Just! Want! To! Hold! James’s! Hand! :( Why must he be so many miles away from me? This isn’t fair. - S.S.

@songsandfoods: Thor went on Instagram Live today, but his himbo ass didn’t know how to work it. He’s so dumb, oh my god I love him - B.B.

@songsandfoods: I wanna run my fingers through Thor’s hair and just braid it. He’d look so cute with braids, don’t ya think? - B.B.

@thorsbby: omg is this like a thirst account for thor and whoever tf james is??

@songsandfoods: @thorsbby “whoever tf james is” Excuse me, but James is War Machine, A.K.A. one of the members of the Avengers. Please have some respect for him. He’s been helping in saving the world for years now. We will not tolerate James/War Machine slander. Thank you! :) - S.S.

@songsandfoods: @thorsbby But to also to answer your question, yes this is basically a “thirst account” - S.S.

@songsandfoods: I saw the tweet that Sad Songs replied to and I would like to reiterate that we will not tolerate any slander/insults/etc of ANY members of the Avengers... except for Steve/Captain America - B.B.

@lolcptspangles: wait, why is steve the only exception???? 

@songsandfoods: @lolcptspangles Because he admitted that he pours his milk before his cereal, and for that he deserves all of the insults - B.B.

@lolcptspangles: ya kno what? that’s fair. steve you’re my fave but that behavior??? no thnx (jk i still love u steve)

@falconsarms: steve when he sees these tweets: 😢

@songsandfoods: James’s arms look so inviting. Oh, how I would kill to be held in those arms. - S.S.

@songsandfoods: Just imagine it: James and I are cuddling in bed together, lazily watching some terrible Hallmark Christmas movie. He gives me kisses on the forehead and gives his funny commentary on the movie. I nuzzle closer into his neck. Ugh, heaven. - S.S.

@songsandfoods: lkasnfdlaksdg THOR IN A SUIT! THOR IN A SUIT! THOR IN A SUIT! IDLKFASDG  - B.B.

@songsandfoods: Okay, I am calm now. BUT LIKE THOR LOOKED SO GOOD WEARING THAT SUIT AT THE GALA TONIGHT OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDD. THE WAY THOSE SUIT PANTS HUGGED HIS ASS OH MY GOD - B.B.

@songsandfoods: The moment I saw James in his floral suit, my heart bursted out of my chest. I just wanted to cry at how handsome he looked. - S.S.

@blackwidowsgirl: @songsandfoods this account is so cute! i love the difference between the two of you. Sad Songs is all about waxing poetics and Breakfast Burritos is just... horny. Anyway! What is your favorite thing about your respective crushes?

@songsandfoods: @blackwidowsgirl Thank you for your love and support! And for me, I just love the way James just seems like a no nonsense person, but really is just a big old dork. Also, love your Twitter handle!! - S.S.

@songsandfoods: @blackwidowsgirl Thanks for the love and support. But to answer your question, idk I just love how much of a teddy bear Thor is, but he can instantly become protective/warrior-like. But also, his hair, love his hair - B.B.

@wintersoldierslove: lkasndfklas thor and james did a joint photoshoot, i can’t wait to see @songsandfoods tweets for it

@songsandfoods: @wintersoldierslove THEY DID A WHAT NOW?! - S.S.

@songsandfoods: OH MY GOD!!!! I’M CRYING. THOR LOOKS SO GOOD!!! - B.B.

@songsandfoods: THOR DID HIS HAIR IN BRAIDS!!! I’M !!!! - B.B.

@songsandfoods: James. James. James!!!! - S.S.

@songsandfoods: James did an entire look of him dressed up as a Jedi! He even had a light saber!! He’s such a dork, I love him so much. - S.S.

~~

Though, the Twitter account only lasted for a year and a half before Thor and James found out about it. In fact the moment that the two found out, that’s the reason they had a photoshoot together.

~~

Bruce and Tony were currently sitting at the dining table on the common floor, tossing various ideas back and forth when Thor and James slid signed photos of themselves to the two men. 

The photo Bruce received said, To my beloved Breakfast Burrito, I hope you enjoy this signed photo of myself. I made sure to pick a photo that showed off my best ASSests ;) <3 Thor

While the photo Tony received said, To Sad Songs, your tweets were cute. I picked a photo of me wearing your favorite polo and flexed my biceps for you. :) Your James

Bruce and Tony’s cheeks instantly turned red. 

Tony clears his throat, “So, uh, you know about the Twitter account?”

Thor and James nod. 

Bruce scratches the back of his neck. “Who told you? Or how did you find out?”

“Bucky told me during our weekly James night like three months ago.”

“And how did he find out?” Tony asks.

“He told me he and Sam like to look for Steve complaints on Twitter to send in their group chat with Steve to tease him and he ended up finding your account. He didn’t know it was your account until he hear Tony asking JARVIS to send a tweet in the lab when he went down for arm maintenance. And then from there it was obvious to who the other person could be.” James explains. “I actually didn’t believe him at first, but then I saw Bruce typing out a tweet as I walked by him one day. And then I immediately went to check the account and sure enough the tweet I saw Bruce typing was there.”

The two men sheepishly smile, a bit embarrassed at their lack of awareness of those around them when they were tweeting.

“Wait, three months ago? So, the two of you knew and didn’t say anything?” Bruce looks at the two in shock.

“Aye,” Thor nods. “We wanted to present you two with a delightful photoshoot of us before we revealed we knew.”

"And since we know now,” James wraps an arm around Tony’s shoulder, giving it a light squeeze, “How about we go out on a double date?”

~~

@songsandfoods: *Photo of Thor and James kissing Bruce and Tony’s respective cheeks.* Our crushes found out who ran this account, but I guess it’s okay because we’re boyfriends now :) - Sad Songs and Breakfast Burritos

[haikyupid]

All your events make me soft istg. I’ll be joining the Oikawa event! Can I be paired with a male character? My favorite character is Gudetama. I like Pandan Flavored Zagu  (since it’s the least popular i get to have it all to myself and it’s cheap) and I like Salted caramel cheesecake. To Oikawa, thank you!  For being a source of my inspiration. If I had a chance, I’d always supply you with support and unconditional comfort. I share your sentiment for going overboard with physical trainings (i have injured my shoulders from too much training, HAH!) and mental strains (inferiority complex will kill us I know) but seeing how you still came out on top, it gives me comfort and assurance that I, too, can achieve that one day. (-＾◡＾)っ-♡-

tooru: ma’am, your hand in marriage, please? that was the cutest and most inspiring message i’ve ever recieved from anyone 🥺 we’ll get through this together, all your hard work will pay off, i promise.

tri: aight, but like you make me soft and feel kilig all the time 😗✌️ bruv, enjoy this lil’ match up, oke?

— [ ♡ ] i match you up with . . .

≺ this… now this is some immaculate content right here; bby bo and you, ugh, sign me tf up right now 😤 i’m boutta start a fan club

≺ he loves salted caramel cheesecake so much, you two end up having to order three slices just for him alone; pls feed him, he’ll turn into the cutest freaking owl and will just stare at you like a puppy in love; also, you two buy your own pandan zagus, but you always end up with two straws in each drink because he wants to be romantic and all that, so you two drink out of one cup and he’s just giggling bcause he loves you so, so much— bro, i need you to dm me and tell me to calm down or else im boutta explode with uwus here

≺ he calls you his ‘lucky bear’ a lot, especially before games; this man will legit yell out ‘akaashi, have you seen my lucky bear!?’ and everyone will think that it’s an actual teddy bear he’s looking for, turns out it’s this cutie patootie who turns this beefy man into a happy bby with literally just a smile

≺ you give him so much inspiration, like you don’t even understand; once they interviewed msby jackals, and during that they asked bby bo’s biggest inspiration… let’s just say they didn’t have the heart to stop him from talking bcause his eyes just sparkled so brightly talking about you, even though they’ve been filming that specific question’s segment for 7 mins already

≺ he loooves getting one of your pep talks, he ends up looking like a kid who’s listening to a zookeeper talk about their favourite animal; your words just give him so much strength, and when he knows that you’re around, he feels like he’s on top of the world

≺ he spoils you so much, like in every aspect, bcause he loves seeing you smile and hearing your contagious laugh; whenever he’s feeling down, the vbc will make you laugh, and omg, bby bo is back and his non-existent tail is now wagging while his imaginary ears are now perked up, and he has the biggest smile that’s so evident with love a person could ever have

≺ he also thinks that gudetama is so fitting for you, and now he buys every merchandise that has it since he thinks it’s the most adorable thing that you lowkey match gudetama—

— [ ❝ you’re mine, and mine only 🥺 ❞ ]

So… I’m simping for Bo… again. I can’t with this owl, he’s just the most precious and cutest thing, and you’re lucky to be his gf 🥺 also, bby, you’re taste in food is immaculate! And Gudetama, ugh, iconic.

To request a mini-matchup for the Oikawa and Kyupid’s Birthday Bash Love Event, click here!

[flowerx-lovex]

adore 🌟🍃 -Billie Eilish fic-

This was requested by @bratyee and it was such a good ass request ✨ i blow ass bc im so mfing slow I’m sorry 🥺🥺 btw lets say your ass is on stranger things and your best friend is Clairo bc i love her ass💀 basic I know but ily

New text from:

Claire🦋

Claire🦋: oh my god y/n have you fucking seen the interview where billie says your her celeb crush??? omfgggggg

Me: dude what??

Claire🦋: here I’ll send you the link you’re gonna flip tf out (link)

I open the link which takes me to a video of billie and an interviewer from teen vogue

It starts out with her answering questions about her music and what she plans on doing in the future and then it gets to more personal questions

“So we really want to know... who is your celebrity crush?” The interviewer asks her, Billie starts to blush and smirks a little

“Um y/n y/l/n no cap I’m serious I’ve had a crush on her ass since the very beginning of stranger things ugh she could GEETTT ITTTT” she starts laughing

“Oh my god” I say out loud, is she actually serious?

For a couple of months now, ever since ST3 came out, she’s been subtweeting/not so subtweeting about her crush on me which I’ve completely returned the favor too, I mean she’s billie fucking eilish and she’s hot as fuck of course I’m going to flirt back with her even if it’s on public social media

We haven’t talked or anything, I’ve wanted to reach out and say something but my shy ass could never

Some fans have caught on, but some haven’t, and of course the ones who haven’t certainly know now

I immediately close the video and go onto twitter to see if there is any commentary about the interview.. and of course... there is

‘Billie x y/n’ is trending on twitter, shit

I bite my lip and decide to message Claire back

Me: is this shit for real?

Claire🦋: i know it’s crazy asf you two HAVE to meet

Me: are you shitting me? how??

Claire🦋: message her on insta?? duh??

Me: oh shit lmao you right

I quickly go to Instagram but then stop myself, wait what the fuck do I even say? I don’t want to sound weird. What if I say something creepy and then she thinks I’m-

*ding*

Oh shit

billieeilish: hi... so you have probably seen the interview and we are trending rn im sorry if that shit made you uncomfortable

Me: omfg no actually I’m not uncomfortable at all, I’m flattered babe really

billieeilish: are you sure?

Me: very! tbh I’ve had a crush on you since your first album came out 🥺

billieeilish: deadass? you should have said something dude!

Me: ME? omfg im shy asfff and I saw you posting shit about me why didn’t YOU say something?

billieeilish: ...lmao i was scared you’re pretty as fuck

Me: we should like go on a date or some cute shit like that... jk unlessssss

billieeilish: oh my fuck yesssss we definitely should go on a date what are you doing tomorrow??

Me: literally nothing omfg am I actually going to see your ass tomorrow?

billieeilish: do you like coffee shops? let’s go to civil coffee their shit is soooo good and no one ever goes there

Me: adore them

billieeilish: then yeah tf you are seeing my ass tomorrow im about to fall the fuck over i can’t believe I’m going to meet you

Me: aww omfg same 🥰🥰🥰 give me a time and I’ll be there babe

billieeilish: is 10am okay?

Me: it’s perfect I’ll see you there yeah?

billieeilish: of course 🖤

Holy shit this is actually happening, I’m actually going to see her

I text Claire screenshots of the chat and she is legit flipping her shit but then again so am I.

This will be very interesting

*next day*

I drive to the little coffee shop in the lowkey part of town and park in a little parking spot in front of the shop there is hardly anybody here except like 2 old peop- oh my fuck I see her, she’s in the back and she’s sitting alone, aww she looks nervous ugh and I’m already shaking, why am I shaking? She’s a human just like I am... a really cute human, who I happen to have a massive crush on shit okay just chill the fuck out, take a deep breath... let’s go

I get out of my car and take another very shaky breath

I open the shop door and hear a little ding as it opens basically telling everyone I’m here.

Billie looks up when she hears the ding, our eyes meet and she smiles really big, I smile back and wave

I quickly walk over to the table and sit across from her

She’s even prettier in person, her eyes are the most gorgeous shade of blue and she has such a calm yet bold presence, it’s hard to explain but I’m already catching major feels and we haven’t even spoken yet

“Hi i was wondering if i could get your autograph I’m a huge fan” I say jokingly, my cheeks hurt so bad from trying not to smile too hard

She bites her lip, I can see she’s also trying not to smile like a crazy person either

“I can’t believe I’m actually in front of you right now I mean shit oh my god you’re real.” She said laughing, I can see her checking me out, in a flattering way and in an analyzing way

“I hope I didn’t disappoint.” I say and wink, she shakes her head and smirks

“You’re pretty as fuck like my heart hurts oh my god I know that sounds fucking corny.” She says, she smiles and rolls her eyes

“Shush stop you’re gonna make me blush and then I’m going to get really red and ew.” I say with a smile and look away from her for a moment

We talk about a bunch of different things, her music, what she did when she was little, what I did when I was little, why I got into acting, what I think about social media, what she likes and dislikes and a bunch of other random topics. It doesn’t hit me that we’ve been talking for legit hours until I hear a phone.

It’s her phone that starts to ring, she looks at the the screen and then to me

“Oh shit it’s finneas um can you give me a second babe?” She asks me, my heart does a little jump at the nickname

“Of course.” I say with a nod and smile, she smiles back then gets up to go to the bathroom.

I wait there for a couple minutes before she comes back, she doesn’t sit down tho

“I’m so sorry but I have to go, finneas just told me that I have some dumb ass interview tomorrow and I totally forgot about it.” She tells me, my smile drops

I get up from the chair I was in so we are now a little bit closer and face to face

“Okay um do you maybe want to get together again someti-“ she cuts me off before I can finish my sentence

“Uh Fuck yessss” she says, I laugh and nod

“Okay just text me yeah.” I tell her, she nods and bites her lip

I’ve been staring at her lips the entire time we’ve been here, am I honestly THAT whipped already? It’s only been 3 hours

She notices me staring and smirks a bit

“Follow me.” She says, she grabs my hand and our fingers interlock, I follow her as we go out the back door of the coffee shop and we stop at her car

“Get in babe.” She says, I smile and feel my heart start to beat a little faster

I get inside the car and start to laugh a little “What about finneas and your interview?” I ask her still giggling

She also starts to laugh and rolls her eyes

“He’ll have to come find my ass I guess and honestly fuck that interview they just ask you the same shit over and over.” She jokes

After we both got done laughing and calmed down we then sat in a comfortable silence

I can feel the tension growing a little

I look over a little to see her hand resting on her thigh, the rings on her fingers look so good... she looks so good, I bite my lip and start feeling bold

“I honestly really like you.” I say with a slight laugh, the laugh gets cut short because I can feel her hand gently turn my face to hers, our eyes meeting, and I can feel the coldness of her rings, oh shit I’m catching fucking feelings, she rubs my cheek with her thumb and smiles

“Kiss me.. I dare you.” She teases, she licks her lips and pulls her bottom lip between her teeth

My heart is beating fast and I smirk

“And if I don’t?” I ask, she leans in to me, our lips only centimeters apart

“Pussy.” She whispers jokingly, she presses her lips to mine and starts to kiss me softly

She’s so warm and soft, my heart melts and I’m on cloud 9, I’m way too soft for her

She pulls away, both of us a little breathless

She starts to smile which causes me to also smirk a bit

“Wow I guess I really can get it huh.” I say my breath still shaking a bit

“Oh my fucking god shut up, put your seatbelt on we are going on a fucking adventure.” She starts to laugh, she sits back in her seat and turns on the car.

My cheeks are burning and I can’t stop from smiling. She gets on the road and puts on music, she turns it up as loud as she can.

I get my phone from my back pocket and video her and I singing and acting like dumb asses and post it on my insta story and tagging her.... billie x y/n is going to be trending for awhile.

im sorry if this was bad 🥴 ew and I’m so slow lmao okay anyways 💞✨✨💞💞 😌oof and she’s(the story) also long tho

[kara-dolan]

Coachella -Day 1 ~Part 1~

A/N ~ hola it be a while since i have posted but whats up hahaha i am so so sorry ive had writers block and ms. vivi aka @notanotherdolantwinsblog was moving during the time she agreed to help with this so once both of our lives calm tf down things will return to normal scheduling.

Word Count~ 4,309

Warnings ~ Soft feels, Fluff, Fun, Flirting?, Possible use of cannabis aka weed 

Summary~ Fun and music festivals with your best friend? What could possibly happen? Oh right running into anyone and everyone you adore looking absolutely devin with sweaty bodies touching and bass booming under your feet. But what adventures are to come when Y/N and Viviana come face to face with Coachella ?

“Viviana I can’t believe you actually got tickets for Coachella. I can’t believe the house you got for Coachella weekend. I can’t believe that we are here!” I say excitedly gripping her arm.

“Bitch, I can’t believe that we might run into the Dolan Twins!” she says to me smiling.

“Okay yes that is a huge plus but, Day 1 will be the most exciting especially since it’s the first time we’ll be going!” I say releasing her walking up to the house.

She shook her head at me and opened the door revealing the Greek interior architecture. I walk in setting my hand bag on the ground taking everything in.

“Holy shi- is this real life right now?” I questioned looking up and spinning around to view everything.

“If you think this is amazing just wait till you see the backyard and bedrooms, not to mention the bathrooms.” Viviana says.

I looked at her and smiled then found my way to the stairs that spiraled up to the bedroom I was staying in. It was completely white with a sliding door that led out to the balcony that overlooked the backyard. Below me I saw the pool that had a huge baby blue clam bed next to the pool with a pearl shaped pillow that was silver and sparkled in the sun.

“V, I am never leaving.” I say looking away from the pool and up at the view of trees and mountains that were decorated by the sun’s beautiful rays and wind causing them to sway.

“Okay, sure, you say that every time you visit a new place. Watch once we get to Coachella you’ll never want to leave there either. Speaking of which, we have to get unpacked and set up for tomorrow after that we can get pizza and just chill.” Viviana says walking out onto the balcony.

“Ha. Yeah, I fall in love with places too easily. But, have you seen the view and the trees? It’s so beautiful. We should camp outside tonight and just watch the stars.” I say leaning against the railing watching the beautiful scenery.

“You’re fucking crazy. There’s bugs and animals. No way in hell am I sleeping out here, especially the day before Coachella starts. I am not getting dirt in my pores and you shouldn’t either,” she says stepping away to go back inside.

I sigh and look down pushing myself off the railing and going inside to unpack.

It took about an hour to get everything unpacked an organized, I had brought makeup and wigs, so I didn’t have to dye my Y/H/C hair and damage it. I also brought any and all facial cleansers because we were going to be in the desert for 3 days. I had hung all 3 outfits up in the closet and folded extra clothes I brought because no way in hell was I not going to shower and be forced to wear glitter covered outfits for the week that we were going to be staying at the house. Y/F/N and I had gotten walkie talkies set up on a private channel to find each other if we got lost and 3 cases of water so we could take 5 bottles of water with us for each day. After everything was unpacked and organized I made my way down the spiraling stairs and through the living room and into the kitchen where V was sitting at the island scrolling through her phone.

“Hey, you order the pizza yet?” I asked going to the fridge to get a water.

“No, I was waiting on you. I did see some updates on Twitter though, involving the twins and well, the drama is crazy.” she yawned out.

“When is it not though? Like honestly people need to leave them alone. But let’s not get into it. I’ll order a pepperoni and Hawaiian pizza and set up a movie.” I say after taking a drink of water.

“Sounds good. I’m getting blankets and pillows to fort up the living area.” She yelled to me running upstairs.

I smile and pull my phone out of my pocket and order the pizzas.

After the pizza arrived, we watched a random movie as we ate in the fort. Halfway through the movie and one pizza gone we fell asleep surrounded by pillows and blankets. The next thing I knew my phone was going off at 6 am which resulted in Viviana hitting me in the face with a pillow followed by groaning which signaled me to turn it off. I grabbed my phone and stopped the alarm. I made my way to my room and changed into some shorts and a loose tank and pulled on running shoes. I quietly made my way out of the house and into the woods near the park for a morning run.

I found myself at an overlook. The view was impeccable with the sun rising and colors blending together, putting me in a trance. The trance was broken when I notice movement below, a tall broad figure jogging through the hiking trail. The figure belonged to a man, as the sun rose more his golden shoulders glistened with sweat, his hair flopping with each step. It was like the trance from the sunrise was transferred to him. I couldn’t stop watching him until he disappeared deeper into the trail.

“What the hell was that?” I asked myself. I shook it off and ran back towards the house. By time I got back it was 7 am and I was drenched in sweat. I took a shower once I got back. After my shower, I put on my first Coachella outfit. I was wearing a white tank top with strings that tied in front of my chest with high waisted black shorts and a hunter green jacket. I put on black ankle boots and accessorized with a necklace that reached my waist.

Once I was dressed I applied my makeup, natural smokey eye and maroon lips. I put on my pink Ombre white high pony wig and grecian leaf new forehead crown. I went to the kitchen and saw Viviana wearing a black crop top with maroon jean shorts and black knee-high boots that had fishnets underneath. Her hair was loosely curled draping around her shoulders, she had dark smokey eye and a light pink lip.

“Okay, V. I see you.” I squeal out and she looks at me and laughs.

“Stop… we have to get going soon if we want to make it on time.”

“Okay. Okay. I am so ready to see Kyle perform today. Oh my gosh and The Neighborhood, St. Vincent, SZA, and The Weeknd. Just today is going to be crazy.” I say while packing up our bags for Day 1.

“For sure, not to mention how many social media stars and celebrities we will be seeing there.” V says taking her bag. I nod.

“We should get breakfast on the way there. I mean it is only 9 am. Coachella gates don’t open till 11.”

“You just want to go to an acai bowl place to see if you can run into Grayson” She teased.

I rolled my eyes and smiled.

“Maybe it’s a little true but if we run into Grayson we also run into Ethan…” I wink and nudge her.  She laughs and grabs her car keys.

“Fine, you win. Using my love for Ethan against me. That isn’t fair.”

I scrunch my nose at her and smile. After our playful teasing ended we headed out and went to the closest acai place. Once we arrived we saw girls squealing and crying. I looked over at Viviana and raised my eyebrow while smiling.

“No. We are getting the acai bowls and going.” She scolded me.

“Ugh, fine. I won’t go and ask them if they are acting like that ‘cause of the twins. Mainly ‘cause I already know they were here… thank you, Instagram… but fine let’s get the bowls and go.” I replied rolling my eyes.

“You’re entirely something else. In a good way.” She reassured me.

“Thanks, I guess.” I say while laughing.

We were waiting in line to get the acai bowls when I realized everyone was staring at us.

“Well this isn’t awkward or anything.” I mumbled out.

“What?” she questioned.

“We are the only ones dressed like this here. Seriously, everyone is wearing normal clothes. We need to hurry up and get the hell out of here.” I say looking around getting uncomfortable.

“Why? We look hot. Stop trying to cover up. Let them stare it shows them what they can’t have.” She says making me loosen my grip on my jacket and letting it slip down my arms. “Okay. I got this. We got this.” I say smiling and nodding.

We got our acai bowls and left. We were about 5 mins away from Coachella grounds and we had finished our acai bowls. Now we were just blasting music and getting hype as we got closer to the festival. We pulled into the most available parking spot. Once V put the car in park I got out throwing my bag over my shoulder and adjusting my VIP wristbands.

“I can’t believe were actually here...” I say shutting the car door.

“Neither can I. Now let’s go before we miss any performances!” She shouts while pulling my arms and entire body towards the entrance.

“Okay! Okay! I can walk on my own!” I laugh out.

“I know just hurry the hell up!” she shrieked out and took off running. I shook my head and ran after her, I finally caught up at the entrance because we had to scan our wristbands.

We were finally inside, I grabbed at V tapping her like crazy.

“Look, Look, We’re here. Oh my gosh we’re here” I screamed out.

We ran to the Sahara stage until it was time to head to the main stage. When we reached the main stage Los Angeles Azules were performing and we saw Bryant recording some of the performance on his phone. I look over at V who was already looking at me. We walked closer to Bryant but not close enough for him to notice, we stood there enjoying the performance.

“We literally just saw the Yodeling Walmart Boy perform with Whethan and now we see Bryant right here. What is happening?” I whisper to Viviana. She laughed.

“Life. Life is happening and giving us this amazing opportunity.” She whispered back. “Opportunities?” I question at the last minute when she bumped into me causing me to stumble back only to be caught by someone.

“Oh my gosh I am so sorry. My fri-” I stopped once I saw who caught me.

“It’s fine.” He said chuckling. I stood up.

“Sorry, again. Thank you for catching me though.”

I turn my neck to glare at V who was smirking.

“No problem. Not everyday I get to catch a beautiful girl from falling.” He flirted which made me look back to him.

“I think I did fall though… Umm… sorry. Bad attempt and now I am making a bigger fool of myself. Bye.” I say nervously while laughing a bit while turning to walk away.

He grabbed my right hand with his left spinning me around.

“You aren’t making a fool of yourself. I’m Grayson.” He smiled down at me.

“I know, but I’m Y/N and the person behind me is my best friend Viviana.” I say looking up at him through my lashes.

He smiled down at me and I looked away and as soon as I did Bryant came over

“Hey Gray we should go find E and get more photos.”

“For sure. Y/N want to come?” he asked me. I looked at him bewildered.

“You mean like go with you and Bryant to find Ethan?” I questioned. He smiled and nodded “That’s the general idea. You can even bring um... V- Vivi-”

“Viviana.” She interrupted him. “We would love to go with you. Right Y/N?” she nudged me “Oh yeah. Totally, for sure.” I mumbled out.

“Great. Yo, Bry, Y/N and Viviana are going to come with.” He shouted towards Bryant.

Bryant smiled and nodded, we all began walking away from the main stage to find Ethan. We found him by the food trucks drooling over the acai bowls.

“Ethan!” Grayson called out to him pulling his attention from the trucks. He ran over to join us “Yo Gray. Who’s this?” he asked.

“I’m Y/N. Just met Grayson when my friend Viviana “accidently” bumped into me and Grayson caught me” I said smiling a bit while air quoting.

“Oh cool. I’m Ethan.”

“This is Viviana or V. By the way.” I say pulling Viviana’s’ arm.

“Oh. Hi” she waved shyly. I heard everyone near the main stage start chanting Really, Really, Really, Yeah,

“V, we got to go. Kyle is performing now!” I grab at her arm. “Sorry guys. Just been waiting all day to see him.” I yell over my shoulder as we run to the main stage.

We reached the main stage finally.

“Y/N are you stupid you just left Ethan and Grayson. We aren’t going to ever see them again.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that. Grayson loves SuperDuperKyle.” Ethan whispered between us which made me jump.

“E you can’t just scare them like that.” Grayson said coming from behind me smiling.  I laughed and rolled my eyes.

“Glad you guys could join us” I smiled at him and started jumping and chanting with the rest of the crowd.

“Don’t Wanna Fall in Love” played and I looked at Gray and smiled.

“Yo, you gonna show us some moves, possibly the same ones from the warehouse?” I asked him.

“I remember that I gave him so much shit about it.” Ethan said laughing. I rolled my eyes.

“You did great. Just ignore him.” I looked at him placing my hand on his shoulder.

He grabbed my hand and spun me around in front of him, he gripped my waist and rested his chin on top of my head. We swayed to the rest of the set until iSpy came on and we had to move to avoid a mosh pit. We gave up on finding a new spot, so Grayson offered to go get ice cream for us, I decided to wait with Ethan and Viviana. I was listening to V and E talk about which bands they were excited to see, I left them alone to talk and headed over to the food trucks to see if Grayson needed help. When I saw him, he was talking to a girl.

“Hey, I know you from YouTube. I love your videos and they’re super inspiring.” She said to him awkwardly laughing a little.

“Really? Thank you so much that means a lot.” He replied to her smiling, “Want anything?” He asked her pointing to the menu.

“Oh my god no. Of course not. Thank you” She said sweetly.

“Oh okay.” He said, and she gave him a hug which he returned.

“See you around” he said.  

“Yeah see ya” she called out as she walked off.

I walked over to him and smiled at him.

“Hey, why are you looking at me like that?” He asked.

“Okay, it’s kind of weird…but, I like seeing how you interact with fans.” I explained.

“It’s an amazing experience I appreciate you guys. If I can make you guys happy even just taking a picture or talking to you it is completely worth it.” He says while paying for the ice cream. “Grayson, you literally just looking at us is enough to make us happy” I giggled out. He laughed and handed me the ice cream he got for me

“It’s kind of shocking to hear that. Not entirely used to this still.” I smiled at him.

“I mean majority of your fan base is female which you should know from tour. You’re attractive and athletic and you have a great personality at least from what I can tell from your videos and well now that I’ve met you and hung out with you. I honestly can’t believe that I am here… That I even got to meet you…” I say staring up at him losing my words.

“Yeah… I don’t meet a lot of people who are quite like you though.” He finished looking down at me. I laughed breaking the gaze.

“I bet. Not a lot of girls would walk away from you to go and enjoy a music performance like 4 minutes after meeting you” he grabbed my hand as we walked back over to Ethan and Viviana. “You’re not going to do that, again right?” He asked.

“Hmmmm… I don’t know. If I do what are you going to do about it?” I ask cocking my eyebrow while smiling.

“Guess I have to stay close then.” He let go of my hand and draped his arm carefully around my neck pulling me closer towards him and I wrapped my arm around his waist.

“Yo, Gray. Where we headed now?” Ethan asked him taking note on how close me and Grayson were.

“I don’t know. Where to now, Y/N?” he inquired.

“I kind of want and need to see The Neighborhood.” I say looking up to Grayson licking the ice cream from the cone.

“Alright, The Neighborhood it is. Let’s go.”

We walked back over to the mainstage where Kyle was performing, and The Neighborhood was now setting up.  Bryant met back up with us from taking photos of other YouTubers that were here.

One of the first songs they played was Scary Love which I adored and sang along with every word. Grayson just watched me the entire time and spun me around a couple times. Ethan and Viviana were exchanging numbers which made me think about giving Grayson mine. He noticed my dancing falter and pulled me into him. I stumbled into his chest in which he took the opportunity to hug my waist as I collected myself.

“You okay?” He asked me. I nodded.

“Yeah, why do you ask?” I retorted reaching my arms around his neck. He chuckled.

“No reason…”

I pulled away from him when I heard Daddy Issues come on.

“Hey, Grayson can I borrow y/n for a minute?” V asked pulling my hand. He nodded, and I stumbled trying to keep up with her as she dragged me away

“What is going on?” I questioned her.

“Okay so Ethan and I were talking, and I somehow talked him into coming back to the house later tonight, but he wants to bring Grayson too. I was wondering if you could keep Grayson busy while I try to get closer to Ethan?” she pleaded.

“For sure. Like it’s honestly so weird how close we have gotten in just the past couple hours that we’ve been here, and we haven’t even had a ‘get to know you’ talk it is just a comfortable thing as if we’ve known each other for years. I wouldn’t necessarily call it keeping him busy though as much as just hanging out with him and getting to know him more.” I respond.

“Ahh yay! You’re the best.” She squealed while hugging me then running back to Ethan.

I smiled and rolled my eyes I looked around for a little before making my way back to Grayson, when I got closer to the main stage where The Neighborhood was performing Sweater Weather I noticed Grayson wasn’t there anymore and neither was V or E.

“Okay. Don’t really know what to do. I literally just saw V though.” I thought out loud.

“Yo make sure you get some of those cotton sticks!” I heard Ethan shout from behind me. I turned around so quick.

“Ethan what the hell are cotton sticks?” I yelled to him while laughing noticing the same girl who was talking to Gray earlier laugh.

“Cotton candy.” He said smiling like a 3-year-old getting called adorable.

“Okay then… Where’s Gray and V?” I asked him.

“Ryan met back up with us so Gray is with them by the disco ball trash can. I am on my way back to them. Come on.” He said nodding his head over towards where they all were.

“Ethan wait up!” the girl called after him in which he made a confused face.

“I’ll see you when you get over there.” I say walking away slowly just listening in on the conversation.

“What’s up...?” he asked.

“The sky, pfft… you’re the best youtubers who’ve lived on planet earth.” She said after a small awkward moment. “Oh, oops... That was cringe.”

At this point I was half way out of earshot.

“Are you enjoying ‘Chella’?” he questioned.

“Heck yeah. It’s awesome.”

I stopped listening when I saw Grayson adjusting the part of his ripped jean armband.

“Hey, there you guys are. Kind of wondered off for a while. Sorry.” I say which made Grayson look up from his armband.

“Hey. I was going to look for you, but V said you would find us.” He said pulling me into a hug. “Well okay then someone missed you.” Ethan chuckled wrapping his arm around Viviana’s waist.

“I mean can you blame me?” Gray asked.

“Oh my gosh. No. Stop. Both of you.”  I say pulling away from Gray laughing.

“Oh, by the way this is Ryan. Ryan this is Y/N.” Ethan introduced us.

“Hey. I actually know who Ryan is. You guys have collabed before and it was fucking hilarious I loved it.” I blurt out.

“The amount that Y/N watches your old videos is crazy.” V interjected.

“Hey! They’re funny, leave me alone. You freaking binge watch them with me you have no room to talk.” I defended.

Grayson and Ethan laughed at us

“Oh yeah., you guys want to laugh? Cause I have things I can say that will make you cringe instantly.” A teasing smile played on my lips after I spoke those words. The twins exchanged a worried look.

“Here are your ‘Cotton sticks’ Ethan.” Bryant returned with at least 8 of them and his camera. “Bryant do you want some help with all of that?” I asked, and he nodded.

I took a couple of them and handed one to V.

“Cotton candy yum.” Grayson said taking a bite out of one that was in my hand from over my shoulder.

“Hey! If you wanted one you could have just asked.” I smiled at him holding one out for him to take.

“Nah, I like it when you hold it.” He licked his lips and grinned.

I was going to respond but Ethan came over and took 3 of them from me leaving the one Gray bit from.

“Well okay then…”  I say as Grayson takes another bite. “Damn I might as well just hand feed the cotton candy to you” I joked.

“That’s a fantastic idea.” He said while smiling at me, I shook my head

“Are you serious?” I asked raising my eyebrow.

He nodded while grabbing a piece of cotton candy and holding it against my lips I shook my head no.

“I’m not eating that.” I laughed out

“Yes you are” He grinned now

“No… I’m really not. Grayson, I mean it. Oh my gosh stop.” I backed away from him while laughing.

I ran around our group as he chased me playfully, he ended up grabbing my waist from behind and spinning me around.

“Grayson!” I managed to yell out in the middle of my fits of giggles.

“What?” He asked putting me down, so I could face him. Once I turned around, my eyes immediately made contact with his and I was entranced. He wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me closer not breaking eye contact until he looked at my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips gently against his while standing on my tippy toes. He placed his hands on my waist ho

lding me steady and kissed me back.

We were in our own little world, unbothered and carefree smiling into the kiss.

“Grayson!” Ethan screamed which made us break the kiss.

“What E?” He asked annoyed.

“You know we can’t do that. Not here. Fans might see.”  

“He’s right Gray… Look me and Vivi will go and check out some more bands. We can meet back up during the Weeknd’s performance.” I say placing my hand on his shoulder.

“Come on bro.” Ethan said dragging Grayson away letting my hand slide down his arm.

Vi pulled me back to the main stage where Vince Staples was setting up to perform. We were having fun dancing around like no one was watching which they weren’t, after the set we went to use the bathrooms.

“What are we doing after we leave?” Vivi asked.

“Well I know for sure we are going to go home but maybe on the way stop for some In-N-Out.” I answered.

“In-N-Out sounds amazing.” I hear Grayson suddenly say from behind me as he wrapped his arms around my waist and resting his chin upon my shoulder.

“Grayson, we talked about this.” Ethan warned pulling him off of me.

“Right sorry E.”

“Okay so I guess you guys are coming with us after to get In-N-Out too?” I questioned. We all agreed to it after me and Vivi went to the bathroom and were walking back to the main stage to see SZA perform.

On the way back to the stage I tripped over my own feet and stumbled into a bleach blonde girl wearing a two piece purple bikini.

“Oh my gosh I am so so sorry-” I say going to help her up.

“Wait… you're Tana Mongeau-”

[dazedbymalum]

Monster Among Men - 02

Word Count: 1,967

Calum

I walk up to the front, all the weird cashiers are out today, yet again, although I've never seen that short chick in the big ass hoodie and braids before, I guess I'll go to her.

I put my shit down and dig some cash out of my wallet and hold it in front of her. "D-do you have an ID with you?" She bites her lip after asking, looking like she instantly regrets it.

What the fuck kinda question is that? Do I look like a child? "What?" I say, obviously annoyed.

"I have to ask everyone that question by law sir...I'm not trying to offend you, I—"

I roll my eyes at her explanation and cut her off, pulling out my ID "Here."

She looks at my ID, a little longer for my comfort and I then put it away. "Thank you." I hear her mumble, almost inaudibly.

I watch as she scans my items, then I divert my attention to my phone for a second. When I look up she's staring directly at me, what the fuck? She's probably just looking for attention, but I don't have time for any bitch tonight. "Are you gonna take my fuckin money or not? I don't have all damn day." I grumble.

I watch as she snaps out of whatever fucking daydream, fantasy shit she had going on "Huh?"

I roll my eyes once again and see her cheeks turn a bright red as she takes my money and slowly counts out my change.

I tap my foot impatiently and she hands me the change. Fucking finally. "H-here you go, have a nice night." She stutters to me.

I grab my shit and narrow my eyes at the girl. "Uh, yeah"

If this were any other night I'd probably try convincing her to letting me fuck her because she was pretty hot honestly, a guy can wonder what she's hiding underneath that fucking baggy sweatshirt.

I make my way out to my car and then home. I really need a smoke now, I think to myself and then look in the dash and my pockets, no cigs. Fuck, I ran out again and didn't fucking notice, I really don't want to go back to that damn store, but I suppose I'm gonna have to.

I let out a groan and turn the damn car around, heading back to that place, maybe I will talk to that chick, a good fuck would be good tonight honestly.

...

I park my car, once again in the vacant parking lot and go into the store, I notice the girl from before glancing my way, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion at my second appearance within 15 minutes.

I walk over to her, she looks terrified, "Um, h-how can I help you? Did I count your change wrong? I'm so sorry—"

She stutters her words while looking up at me, she's so fucking short. I roll my eyes at her "No angel, I forgot I needed some Marlboros, can you grab me a pack or two?" I smirk at her and watch as confusion takes over her face.

"My name is Harlow...not Angel, there isn't even an Angel that works here...?" She bites her lip and grabs two packs for me. I chuckle, "Yeah, I know, and I'm Calum, do you need to look at my fucking ID again?" I say while pulling out a few dollars.

"Um, no." She takes the cash and hands me my cigarettes. "Thanks love, you're very pretty by the way." I wink at her and she seems taken aback by the compliment, I see the heat rising in her cheeks.

"We should hang out some time, what works for you?" I smirk, knowing she's probably melting right now with all this attention I'm giving her.

"Uh, not to be rude or anything, but I just met you? Isn't this a little odd, um Calum?" She bites her lip, I'm now taken aback by her response.

Did she just basically reject my offer? She must have a boyfriend or some shit like that. "How is it fucking odd? Are you riding another dick or something? Because trust me babe, I'm not trying to get involved in any fucking bullshit drama with a damn boyfriend." I spit out my words, obviously irritated.

She takes a step back, my harsh words seem to have an effect on her. I take one last look at her and storm out of the store. How dare she try to embarrass me like that? What a fucking bitch.

Harlow

I had a chance to fix the braid once the lady I was assisting finished checking out. After I fixed it Jessica, my coworker, asked me yet again why I keep my hair like this everyday.

"Well, my hair can get in the way, it is a bit long and can be a bit frizzy sometimes as well, so keeping it braided just solves my issues." I explain to her with a smile, it kind of gets on my nerves that she has the need to ask me this every week at some point, but I do not have the nerve to say anything to her about it, especially since she is just curious.

She nods with a smile. The rest of my day runs on, pretty slow and boring honestly and the next time I check my phone for the time I see it's already 9pm. There's also a text from Lynn.

... To: Harhigh not low dude I have some big shit to spill ...

Ugh, I'll have to tell her I can't talk quite yet, I think I forgot to tell her I'm working all day oops.

I look up when I hear a thud of cans. I see a guy wearing a leather jacket set his items down and pull some cash out of his wallet.

I look at his items...two packs of beer, a box of condoms, and a bag of chips. Oh.

He seems to have the most bored, disgruntle facial expression ever, I better not get on his nerves, but I think rather than keeping his mouth shut...like what I do with Jessica, he would most certainly call me out.

I swallow the lump forming in my throat and I look up at him, he is extremely tall. "D-do you have an ID with you?" I bite my lip as I watch him grow angry with my question.

"What?" He spits out. He has some sort of accent, yes I'm a little terrified about this giant man I have never seen before, but I am supposed to ask everyone that question who buys stuff like beer and condoms...and I am curious.

"I have to ask everyone that question by law sir...I'm not trying to offend you, I—"

"Here." He cuts me off by showing me his ID. I examine the piece of plastic...Calum Hood...22 years old...Australian. Oh my god he's Australian! Just like Lynn!!

He quickly shoves it back in his wallet and gives me a glare. I take a deep breath and start to scan his items. As I scan the bag of chips I mumble a quiet "thank you" to him and he just stands there.

I glance and see he's now on his phone texting someone, a friend or something I assume. Maybe even a girlfriend? Boyfriend? I don't know. I would be surprised if he didn't have someone. This guy is beyond attractive. I wonder if he knows Lynn? Haha that would be hilarious.

"Are you gonna take my fuckin money? I don't have all damn day." He snaps at me.

"Huh?" Oh no, I have been staring this whole time. Oh no.

He rolls his eyes and I take the money from him cautiously. He thinks I'm a weirdo now. I count his change slowly, that way I don't mess up and give him the wrong amount.

He looks like the kind of guy that would storm back in here demanding for one cent more if I forget one penny. I cannot mess this up. His foot tapping causes me to hurry my counting and I give him the receipt and change as quickly as possible.

"H-here you go, have a nice night." I say, hoping to sound more confident.

"Uh, yeah" He looks at me oddly and then leaves the store. I let out a breath I wasn't aware I was holding in.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and see three more texts from Lynn.

... To: Harhigh not low heyyyyyyyyy harlowww bitch you better answer me. To: Harhigh not low HARLOW. To: Harhigh not low I know you're not ignoring me tf ...

I laugh quietly to myself and send her a quick text to stop her nagging.

... To: Lyin Lynn calm down. I'm at work, I don't get off for another half hour, just wait!! To: Harhigh not low Fucking finally you answer. But okayyy <3 ...

As I'm putting my phone away I hear the door open and look to see the the guy from before. Oh no, I bet I counted his change wrong and he's here to yell at me. I tried counting as fast as possible, but he insisted on rushing me.

He walks over to me, with the same grumpy look on his face and I start to worry. "Um, h-how can I help you? Did I count your change wrong? I'm so sorry—"

He rolls his eyes at me, "No angel, I forgot I needed some Marlboros, can you grab me a pack or two?" His face changes into some sort of a smirk, I don't know, and why did he call me Angel? My name tag says Harlow, and I don't thing anyone could mistake Harlow for Angel.

"My name is Harlow...not Angel, there isn't even an Angel that works here...?" I bite my lip nervously and grab two of the Marlboros off the stand behind me. He chuckles softly at my words. "Yeah, I know love, and I'm Calum. Do you need to look at my fucking ID again?" He asks while pulling out some money.

"Um, no." I take the cash from his hand and give him the cigarettes.

"Thanks love, you're very pretty by the way." He winks at me and now I'm completely confused. What?

"We should hang out some time, what works for you?" He smirks at me, for the second time tonight and I'm completely uncomfortable. I don't even know this guy, and judging from all the stuff he's bought tonight I think I would rather keep my distance. I'm also kind of embarrassed that he would go ahead and assume I was going to say yes. That's a bit rude.

"Uh, not to be rude or anything, but I just met you? Isn't this a little odd, um Calum?" I bite my lip, using his name, I really don't want to upset this guy.

I watch at his playful smirk turns into a scowl. "How is it fucking odd? Are you riding another dick or something? Because trust me babe, I'm not trying to get involved in any fucking bullshit drama with a damn boyfriend."

What? Boyfriend? Babe? I don't understand this leather clad man standing before me. How could anyone say anything so rude to another person, I just met him. He does not really have a right to act so offended, and definitely does not need to use that sort of language, especially if he's interested in hanging out or something. I don't know, this is very odd.

I take a step back, as if to try and block the harsh words that ran out of his mouth. He glares at me one last time before rushing out of the store. What a strange man.

---

thought i’d post chapter two since it’s been a little while since i posted chapter one! let me know what ya think!!

[jejublr]

boyfriend!wonwoo

A/N: I’m back~ (but will be away again shortly on a vacaycay lmao soz) Basically, I didn’t realize how soft I am for Wonwoo until I finished this one. Like, seriously, I had to stop myself because this got so long. I hope this is something @honeywonu would love bc that girl loves Wonwoo (But also Mingyu? Girl, I’m confused. You like him or nah?). Anyways, I have something else popping out by the end of this week so I hope you’ll be looking forward to it, friends!

at first you weren’t even sure if he likes you?

like, he avoided you at all cost like you had the plague or something

always had this weird look on his face whenever you’re around

you know which face I’m talking about

it wasn’t until you started getting these cute poems out of the blue

and you don’t know that many people who would go out of their way to confess to someone like this

fine, you only know one but he kinda, don’t like you, right?

lmao wrong bc the boy asked you out when he realized you’re not gonna make a move soon

“wonwoo, are you asking me out?”

“I–I.. no! I mean, yeah?? yes..”

didn’t expect you to say yes and he then he has the cutest grin on his face and his nose was all scrunched up

you weren’t even sure if the guy liked you at first because he seemed so distant

and it did take it you a long time for him to warm up to you but it’s totally worth it

him opening up and getting super comfortable around you reminds you how flowers bloom

 AND HIS CUTE EXPRESSIONS!

whenever he’s confused or get excited over the smallest things his face just scrunches

and it’s,,, cute UGH

you guys would become the ultimate geek couple

nerding out about recent anime/video games with him

speaking of video games

bOI, is he hardcore

so freaking loud

you can be doing your chores quietly in the room next door and you’d jump every 10 minutes bc this guy is so into it

“wonwoo, istg I will pull out the cable if you don’t tone it down.”

quite but very loving in public

I don’t think he’s the type to show a lot of skinship in public so he’ll probably settle with hand holding

although~ he’s very down for cuddles when you’re at home~

CAT CAFÉ DATES!!!

the cats love him!!!

seeing him surrounded by cats and going soft because he looks so cute running his hands through their soft fur in child-like amazement

you secretly took so many pictures of him and made one your home screen shh

BUT ALSO STARGAZING DATES!!!

bc he reads so much romance?? he’s definitely a romantic under all that emo

can you imagine tho?

you guys would probably take a weekend trip to the countryside to watch the stars

you and him lying down on a picnic rug, trying to name all the constellations

him telling you random space facts

“did you know that hundreds of years from now, our galaxy the milky way is going to merge with andromeda? the stars will literally litter the sky.”

halfway through it, he’d just end up watching you admiring the sky instead

bc he’s watching the stars with someone with stars in their eyes themselves??

RANDOM AEGYO

“aing~!”

“tf? did you just..? who are you and what did you do to wonwoo?”

will stop in the middle of the street just to pet every cat he sees

but will shove you into the dirt he sees a dog lmaoo

also I would like to remind you how huge of a bookworm wonwoo is

takes care of his collection of books very meticulously

dusts them and makes sure there isn’t any folded pages or anything

“babe, not that I don’t love you but if there’s a fire, I’d save these books first. you have legs, right? you can get out by yourself.”

loves to hear you read out to him while he rests his head on your lap, with one of your hand brushing through his hair while you read to him

you have to beg him hard enough to hear that smooth-ass deep voice read to you

but he’ll sing to you if you ask him nicely enough

him singing you to sleep with his deep voice and the gentle rumble of his chest lulling you to sleep

calm mornings and tangled feet

he lives for neck kisses tbh

him telling you random facts he’s read somewhere

“did you know that water came from magma?”

“no way.”

“yes way.”

s*** when it comes to taking selfies

“babe, how about this angle?”

“no, wonwoo that’s bad.”

“how about this?”

“that’s even wORsE, oh my god.”

“yOU take it then.”

him being playful at the most random moments

like, one moment he’d be quietly reading a book but then he’d peck you out of the blue

“wtf, won?”

“...I love you.”

sloth-woo

like you’ll be vacuuming the room while he lies down singing Mr. Simple off-key

“hEy Mr. sImplE.”

“won, get your lazy bum off the couch and help me, godangit.”

holds your hand in crowded places

he’d blush whenever you compliment him and tell him that he’s cute

also he’ll probably die if you wear one of his sweaters???

“is that.. my sweater??”

“ye, why?”

“...nothing.”

but it’s not nothing bc you can see the tips of his ears getting red but you didn’t say anything bc his sweaters are comfy and it smells like him and you kinda like seeing him get flustered like this so shhh

BUT HE LOVES IT BC SWEATER PAWS UGH

also, he’ll let you borrow his glasses if you ask nicely

him being the practical and pragmatic one whenever you go out shopping with him

“wonwoo, look!!! a marshmallow shooter!!!”

“y/n, we came here for a dish rack and shower curtains, we don’t need a marshmallow shooter.”

you: :(((

proceeded to buy that dang marshmallow shooter bc he couldn’t stand you looking sad

but it’s worth it after seeing you smile

he has a hard time saying “no” to you and you use it to your advantage most of the time lol

PILLOW TALKS!!!

you guys would just face each other and talk about whatever

he gets super talkative at night

also super deep wow

it can go either way:

1) “y/n, where is the line between art and not art?” “oh my god, wonwoo, go to sleep.” “what is art?” “istg wonwoo-”

or 2) you guys go on a lengthy discussion about life and philosophy and everything in between

sends you beautiful poetry

he would send it in a beautiful hand-written letter or text messages and honestly anything as long as it gets to you

you getting texts of his random bursts of inspirations 

a strong, deep bond and unspoken understanding between the two of you

you don’t need big words to show that you care around him

he knows and you know and that’s all that matter

Other Boyfriend!Seventeen

S.Coups | Jeonghan | Joshua | Jun | Hoshi | Wonwoo | Woozi | DK | Mingyu | The8 | Seungkwan | Vernon | Dino 

[xaestheticpeterx]

Congrats!🌟 avengers please? I’m 5’2, curvy, with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. I’m sarcastic/sassy and I’m a total hot head. I’m very protective. It takes awhile for me to get close to people but once I am they’re my family. I’m a weirdly good shot with a gun. Behind closed doors I’m a hopeless romantic but I don’t like PDA. I wanna keep good things to myself. I like listening to old jazz cause it calms me down. I get tattoos as a way to remember my story without other people knowing.

Aww ty sm love! 

I’m shipping you with bucky the buckster. I almost went with Sam, but freaking love this bucky concept because-

To be honest, you both will enjoy your little banters. Don’t even lie. The sassiness that just pours out of you both lmao. Not gonna lie, you’re hot head will possibly piss him off for like all of 5 seconds before all he’s thinking about is “yep that’s my girl.” Cause he wouldn’t have it any other way. Both you and Bucky like to take things slow and see where the flow takes you before anything gets too serious, but once you’re there phew you two will be the the most protective power couple out there oh my god everybody take notes. 

Now think about this. If you ever told Bucky how good you are with guns, not to be nsfw, but boy would bust a nut. I’m throwing Tony in here (because he’s high maintenance so ofc he has his own indoor shooting range in the stark towers) and how Bucky would immediately take you to the tower just to see your aim. It’s all fun in games till you turn it into a competition and oof this man will be head over heels.

Bucky would see you scrunch your nose in disgust at the extra amount of PDA that you didn’t order and he’d honestly love the look on your face. If he had a camera he’d probably take a picture like you sarcastically told him to when you realized he was watching you with a big fat smirk on his face…. Asshole. 

The idea of you and Bucky dancing around the house listening to jazz is what kills me. Like how tf can you guys be so cute?! Be still my heart omg. On the days that you’re feeling down Bucky would know exactly which songs to play for you and would sit down next to you as you calmed down by the music and your boyfriend’s presence. A few cuddles here and there. A light kiss on your forehead. Ugh I love it. But imagine taking Bucky with you to a tattoo parlor and how fascinated he’d be with all of the art that surrounded the walls and the tattoos that graced your skin, each one with a story to tell, and he’d have that one tattoo that’s his absolute favorite no matter what.

Man, I love it.

[briteboy]

using the new tag “sunny answers” for these anon ask compilations as per request of an anon who actually enjoys going through these posts! this one’s 4 u bb 💕

omg there’s a lot of questions here, more than i thought there’d be. rando story stuff, leftovers from the Trans Fiasco (and no i will 100% NOT be answering anymore questions about it after this, aside from the non-anons who already messaged me about it), and some astrology questions towards the end! enjoy

I seriously love & understand santi's mind but at the same time I feel so bad for Lou (I love her more ok) and I just wanna hug her and grant all her wishes and fill her void and give her 9999 amazing lovers Idk SANTI Y U LIKE THIS hahahaha ok sorry your story is my bible basically. Other than Ramona to live for Lou needs someone that stays LOU NEEDS HAPPINESS!!!!!

9999 AMAZING LOVERS LMAO will u be the 10,000th tho...that is the question. i think we all relate to santi, so much in fact that his actions are infuriating because it’s like WHYYY but then i’m like oh wait i do dumb shit too when i’m sad/in pain. he still dumb tho she does need happiness, and hopefully she will find it in this story ;__;

I'm so hyped for everything happening w your sims omg! Like I'm so so excited about Lou's story and her family (which I sent asks about before btw so that tells you) and I'm so excited about Rooney and Gianni and bby Ramona going to Japan (which is literally my fav country so my love for you and your blog just deepens with every second) and Santi just getting better somewhere (where? We don't know. And I think that's the beauty of it) I just ugh. Love your blog

OMGGGG AHHHDSGJHD THIS EXCITES ME SO MUCH THANK YOOOOUUUU I’M EXCITED THAT YOU’RE EXCITED!!! i hope you enjoyed her family reveal today, there is much to still divulge in that area so strap the f*ck in. i have a really clear vision of what i want their japan experience to look like and hopefully it translates into the sims!! who freaking knows tho. i’m glad you’re looking forward to it either way. and yeah who tf knows where santi is right now. “going home” my ASS!! but yeah it is all beautiful in a way ;-; thank you so much my love for u deepens every second i reread this message, you’re so sweet ;__;

(TFB anon again aaaa) OKAY SO i could be wrong because you know him much better than i do obvioisly, but Grand Finale from the new album is giving me some santi vibes rn MMMMMM

HEY!!! i finally listened to the album and honestly...idk how i feel about it BUT i actually did like grand finale, and now that i’m listening to it again i can definitely sense the santi vibes!! (he has been listening to it nonstop since it came out ok) i love that u thought of him ;__; 

I got a retail job two weeks ago. And I hate it. I keep telling myself it’ll get better and then it just gets worse. It’s my first job and I just don’t know what to do. Any advice?

oh god. i don’t wanna be a downer but i don’t have much advice for this, retail SUUUUCKS. working in retail opens your eyes to just how stupid, helpless and annoying people can be. it’s not pretty. it CAN get better if you have coworkers you genuinely enjoy spending time with, who can lessen the burden of your responsibilities. joking around can help a lot, so if you’re not friends with them already, try to be!! just talk to them and i’m sure a relationship will grow. also remember it’s not the end of the world if this job doesn’t work out for you. you can find a new one, and you probably will at some point in the future. i’m gonna point you towards @essiesims because she works in retail so she probably has some words of wisdom for you...hopefully...be nice essie

I just realized my new haircut looks exactly like Fiona's hair and I'm 10x happier with it

GOOD!!! i love her hair, mine is sort of like it right now, messy and short lmao. if bby fiona makes you feel more confident by all means OWN dat haircut, you’re sexi

Can I ask if you watch Dan Howell? Bc his new video about his depression actually broke me and I need someone to hug

no i don’t but i googled him and my first thought was “OHH that’s the dan guy who’s gay with phil or whatever” i honestly don’t know who they are but i’ve seen a lot of gifs of them. i’m sorry his vid made you sad :{ U CAN HUG ME I’M ALWAYS HERE FOR U

I just wanted to let you know that I think you're absolutely amazing, and so creative, and your stories are beautiful. I have loved everything you've created, and you're sims are all so beautiful, and the stories are so heart-wrenching, and so well written, and I'm just so absolutely obsessed. I have your notifications on, and I get so excited every time I see you've posted something. :D Keep working hard, and be happy :)

omg ;____________; thank you so soso much ur gonna make me CRY i create everything for myself, but it makes it all feel 1000x more worth it to know it’s affected you this way and you’re enjoying it so much. my heart hurts in the best way. the fact that you have your NOTIFS ON FOR ME OMG i’m so sorry that i probably spam you so much with random asks and stuff. you’re probably like “when will this b*tch shut up” lmfao no but really this is so kind and sweet and it makes me feel warm inside, thank you so much <333

Can I get a link to your story in Chrono order? I'm on my phone and I'm not quite sure how to do it on here ^^'

here u go, or if you can’t click on it, copy and paste this: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono as a general rule, you can go to any tag and add “/chrono” (no quotation marks) at the end and it’ll take you to the beginning.

hi femme! im sorry this is from older posts but how did you get ramona to look the way she did as a baby? thanks in advance!

hello i explained that here!

DEMI GIRL REPRESENTATION YES ILY

HELL YEAH ILY TOOOO

But if you were cisphobic you have a phobia of like a veeeery big part of the population o.o??? Still don't understand that ist even a thing

true! the reason cis people hold the must power in this equation is due large in part to the fact that they are a huge part of the population. so yeah it’s definitely not a thing.

What's cisgender??? Never heard of that

me neither tbh (but if ur not being sarcastic, here)

I love you sunny. Just so you know

Hey Sunny I love you 💕

HEY I LOVE YOU TOOOOO (you both sent this during the Trans Fiasco, and i fully appreciate your kindness in that bleak time)

yikes that anon was obnoxious as hell

this was also during the Trans Fiasco and yeah u right!

What mod do you use to make your sims taller? 😊

this one!

mom why does love hurt so much 😥

no one knows mi childe but i am here for u

^^ me goin after whoever hurt u

I literally just had such a bad nightmare I woke up, scared myself when I tried to reach for my phone and instead accidentally groped my poodle; which resulted in a panic attack. It’s 5am. Please help. I can obviously not take care of myself

GROPED YOUR POODLE OHMDFHOGODFSG I’M SO SORRY POODLE that sucks tho i’m so sorry about the nightmare and the poodle and the panic attack and EVERYTHING, that’s not fun :{ hopefully you got some rest and calmed down since you sent this. if not come to my house we can have a sleepover i will take care of u

I also have a large bra size (32H) and I'm still young so it's still growing.

OH WOOW ARE U OKAY BECAUSE I HAVE A DIFFICULT ENOUGH TIME HAVING DD’S

@that anon - not all trans ppl even experience dysphasia just admit Defeat

right! i think u meant dysphoria tho. maybe. unless you’re talking about something i don’t know about. but yeah you’re right, every trans person is different. a lot of them do want to change things about themselves, but not all.

hey im goin through an assholes blog and reblogging their posts with confusing internet funnyman comments, saw hate for your blog and decided to send you some support. keep doing what you love with your characters and content ❤❤ -♌🌿

LMAO HEY LEO LEAF were u going through that rando dude’s blog when the Trans Fiasco was happening? because there was some super weird ass blog dedicated to reblogging posts from nonbinary folks and people talking about nonbinary shit and just telling them they’re wrong and transphobic for not believing in the gender binary lmao...so anyways...if that’s not what ur talking about tho i’m sorry i just filled ur ears with that nonsense anyway thank you for this message, it’s so sweet ;__; sorry i didn’t answer it right away, i was recovering from the amount of ugly anons i was getting lmao. thank you for supporting me, ily <333

More Avey pls she's the light of my life

ASDFJHHJKSD SHE WILL APPEAR MUCH MORE JUST TO MAKE THE TROLLS MAD OKAY I LOVE U 💕💕

If another dumbass anon messages you about some silly shit regarding transgenders I’m going to scream. No. Not every trans person wants to transition physically— and no they don’t all want to stereotypical versions of whatever gender they identify with. I know a trans-male that wears makeup and twirls in dresses, and I know a trans-female that loves being a butch lesbian. Personally. I am glad that you’ve chosen to go the route that you have with your character. Fuck the ditsy assholes.

HEY I LOVE YOU AND THIS MESSAGE SO MUCH THANK YOU <33333 ur right, fuck them, they’re ugly anyway

Hey so I'm not like these other anons, I'm asking this as someone has next to no experience with trans people and actually wants to be educated instead of attack you. So if there are some trans people who don't transition and are comfortable with how they look, what exactly makes them uncomfortable with their birth gender?

a number of things, mainly just their discomfort with the category they’ve automatically been placed in from birth. but that doesn’t necessarily mean they want to change their body or dress a certain way.

I just wanna applaud you for handling the anons so calmly because I know for certain if they sent me that shit, my trans ass would have acted differently.

LMFAO omg i’m glad you thought i was being calm because i was like “well i guess it’s time to let out my bitchy side” thank you tho, i’m grateful you understand <3

I'm so sorry that Nonnie was such an ass! I wish we had more people speaking up and saying it loud like you did! It was pretty obvious that person has issues that a Tumblr post won't fix but it was nice to see you put them in there place :)

lmao yeah, after a few questions from them i figured it was just pointless. people like that don’t learn even if you’re trying to explain it to them calmly. they just always want to be right by alienating others, and they don’t even realize what they’re doing most of the time. it’s sad really, but i tried my best (and also tried my best not to unleash all my rage lmao) thank you <3

how can Ramona be sooo cute as a toddler?? like how? whats the secret

vitamins

lmao but really IDK i experimented a lot with her face at first and making a custom skin for her definitely helped too. :~}

/post/166031605558/the-pros-cons-of-dating-my-sim-ciarasia *gives Fiona a Beetlejuice & Ghostbusters and a Dexter dolls and stuffed animals and dolls verisons* I like Fiona I think we could get along with each other *gives Lou her fav kind of band shirts and starts counting her freckles* I don't think I'm gonna go mad trying to count

THIS IS SO SWEET AFKJDSKJNGJKLDLGD YOU’RE THEIR SOULMATE i’m gonna write u into the story now u made it

 I know a girl with heterochromia and she also has two different ear shapes. Sometimes I feel like she was meant to be a twin but she absorbed the other one lol. I feel like a weirdo sorry bye.

UR NOT A WEIRDO!!! omg that is funny tho, and very interesting. i wonder if a lot of ppl with heterochromia eyes are like that, with other two different body parts. i’m the twin she absorbed

if you're still doing astrology posts, I'm a Sun-Aries, Moon-Leo and Rising- Scorpio! I'm slowly getting into astrology but i still don't know what that means lol

OOOH SPICY flaming hot cheetos

aries + scorpio are both ruled by mars and then leo is ruled by the sun so holy heck you are probably WAY OUT THERE and by that i mean super outgoing probably, but maybe your scorp rising makes you a bit withdrawn and secretive, so people have to get close to you before they really see you come out. leo moon is one of my favorite placements because it’s so weird, but often i find leo moons can be even more exuberant than leo suns. you probably have a flair for dramatics and love attention even though you might deny it. you really march to the beat of your own drum, but be careful not to be condescending to others about it!!

oh my god all of this astrology stuff is so interesting! idk if you're still doing them, but if you are i'd love to hear about mine: virgo sun, scorpio moon and scorpio rising :) it's totally okay if you're sick of doing these and i'm in no rush to get an answer!

oooooh my mom and beyonce both have virgo sun/scorp moon combos. that’s how u know it’s a good one even tho it seems scary. i find that virgos often have the potential to be very in charge and domineering, but a lot of them bury that potential because they don’t realize they have it inside themselves, and so they let people walk all over them. especially with a scorpio moon, you crave intensity in all forms: through your emotions, relationships, deepest, darkest thoughts, you feel them so powerfully that sometimes it’s too scary and overwhelming for you. learn to trust in that instead of being scared and you will open a new door in your life, especially in combination with your virgo sun, whose inclination is to learn new things and get to the bottom of every mystery. with a scorpio moon AND rising, you are actually that mystery. you might spend a lot of time trying to figure out yourself, but don’t get too introspective because that leads to overthinking and self deprecation.

hey yo i don't need you to do the thing but I'd just like to inform you that i'm a pisces sun leo moon...which is the strangest combo but totally makes sense for my personality. i don't know what any of the other stuff is lmao. but i got a book on astrology so i'm going to learn

OMG i love that combo...it is really weird but somehow the two suit each other. lou and my bff are actually leo sun/pisces moons (so opposite from you lmao, but that’s the reason i like those signs together!) leos have a very active imaginations and pisces just exacerbates that. i feel like in terms of boldness and outgoing nature, it could go either way for you. since pisces suns are usually more understated and quiet, that could fit you. but i often find that leo moons with literally any other placements will make you quite outgoing, sometimes obnoxious. so maybe you flip flop between shyness and outgoingness, especially since pisces focuses on adaptability anyway. 

omg yay yes learn all the things!! report back to me if u find out any cool stuff

I don't know if you're still doing this but if you are please do my birth chart, Virgo sun, Taurus moon, and Rising Sagittarius (if you're not doing them anymore it's fine

oh dang u earthy as F*CK. i would hate to get on your bad side, you are probably stubborn as hell and refuse to move from any position you hold. your sagittarius rising also probably makes you warm and inviting but competitive as heck. these are the two earth signs that i actually think go with sag really well! for some reason they always have a weird connection. i’ve talked about it a bit before. you are probably super chill and people like to hang out with you because you just do nothing and be homebodies but still have a good time. you might be prone to worry and restlessness, but listen to your intuition that tells you to calm down and focus on taking things slow.

Okay so I'm apparently a Leo sun, Scorpio moon and a Leo ascendant. What does this even mean help me lmao

OOH WOW ANOTHER SPICY BOY...honestly the first word that came to mind was “battleborn”. lmao you’re probably always looking for something/someone to keep up with your pace and stimulate your needs, and you probably get discouraged a lot because no one can ever match your wild personality. you can probably be overbearing without even realizing, and because of that, not many people can handle you. like i said before, scorpio moons crave intensity, and leos are already intense in their own way, so these two signs (especially the double leo influence) just really kinda egg each other on. so be careful not to get too carried away with doing The Most all the time.

[mintyvan]

17 - exhausted van + fluff

filling the request “heyy ally! requesting something where van's run himself into exhaustion because damn that boy doesn't know when to stop so you make him calm tf down and sleep for once.” + a blanket request for fluff

notes a big thank you to @you-andthebottlemen because the convo we had last night inspired the finishing details of this!

_________________

“Van,” you said, waving a hand in front of his blank face. “Van! Hellooooooooo.”

“What?” he said, eyes focusing back into reality from the depths of what he’d been thinking. He shook his head lightly, returning to himself.

“Babe. You’ve been staring at the wall for like ten minutes.”

“Oh, sorry.” He smiled softly, apologizing with his tired blue eyes. He pulled his phone from his pocket, and wearily clicked the button on the side to check the time. The phone was almost too small for his long fingers. You wanted to laugh and comment on how out of place it looked, but he seemed solemn, so you kept it to yourself.

Peering over his shoulder, you looked at his phone. On the screen, there were a few reminder notifications he’d set. Earlier this morning, you’d had to flick the switch to turn the ringer off; the constant dings were driving you batty since you were such a light sleeper. Van scrolled past what seemed like thirty unread text messages, and a few missed calls. “Can never get any time for myself,” he mumbled under his breath. You watched him inhale and exhale a few times to dispel his frustration, and he sat up on the side of the bed. Your worried gaze went unnoticed.

Tentatively, you asked him, “you good?” and with that, after a silent pause, his frustration bubbled back and he was talking a mile a minute as he dressed.

“Ugh” he moaned as he pulled a shirt over his head, “Not only do I have to be at the radio station tomorrow, and do PR interviews with other people in the city, I have to go to Sardy’s tonight. Says the vocals I gave him yesterday weren’t good enough. Not enough charisma or summat,” he continued, pulling worn black socks on his feet and searching around the room for his scuffed boots. He found one discarded next to the bedside table, and started looking under piles of his clothes, slung from the suitcase, for the other.

His guest room in your tiny LA flat had been in complete disarray since he’d arrived yesterday. Falling into bed with you last night after dinner meant even more clothes littered the floor. “‘Don’t know what’s wrong with me lately, can’t seem to get anything done at a hundred percent to everyone’s liking,” he stated honestly, dipping his frazzled head around the furniture, looking for his other boot.

“Larry was there, told me my voice had gone flat -- Fuck, where’s my other boot!” he yelled, volume escalating, voice raw from all the recording work he’d been doing between shows. He pulled at his hair in frustration, looking at you with exhausted eyes, brimming and glassy.

You stood up from the bed, and calmly looked in the place your shoes always ended up, which was under the bed. Surely enough, it was wedged between the duvet crumpled on the floor and the frame. You held it out to him, and he sighed in a drained sort of way, fingers reaching for the toe.

“Not so fast.” You said. His hair was dirty and grimy. His eyes were baggy and you noticed how black and blue the circles underneath were. The pallor of his skin was exacerbated by the contrast.

“Love, please, I’m late. I have to go round up the lids and --”

“No. Listen, Van, that little bout of frustration you just had never used to happen to you. I’m worried.”

His gaze softened. “I’ll be fine. Everything’s fine.” He kissed your cheek, the sweet smell of him washing over you as he brushed against your frame. You hugged him, and held him in place. A few seconds went by, and then finally he tried to relax into your hold when he realized you weren’t going to let him skitter off so easily. His muscles were still tense. Upon release, he grabbed the keys from the bedside table and ran off bleary-eyed to an appointment.

*

He was in the shower, singing an old love ballad you’d never heard. His voice, raspy, drifted through the hallways of your flat and filled your home with love. In the kitchen, you stirred your tea absentmindedly in your mug, turning the pages in a colorful coffee table book, enjoying the contrast between his voice and the silence as you glanced over pristine homes and fancy art.

Suddenly, the voice in the shower turned to a hacking cough, echoing from the acoustics of the tiny bathroom. You sat up straight in your chair at the table as he continued to cough up a lung. Rushing to the bathroom door, you knocked, followed by a “Babe? You alright in there?” with no response, as he was still coughing. Gently you pushed open the door and saw him with a hand on his chest and one on the cool tile supporting his wet, heaving frame under the water. The cough died down and he looked at you, sapped of energy.

You moved to turn off the shower and wrap his weak body in a towel. You pushed him to sit on the closed toilet lid as you felt around the medicine cabinet for a thermometer. In rummaging for it, you found a cough drop and popped it in his mouth. “Cherry. Gross,” he said, trying to be funny, but it came out flat and unemotional.

His forehead was burning up; he’d started to cold sweat as soon as you removed him from the shower. You stuck the thermometer under his tongue, and he pouted as you read the gauge. “101 degrees? No mate, you’re not going anywhere today.”

“But--”

“Seriously. Go get in bed, or I’ll toss you in it myself.”

“I’ve got loads of commitments today. People are counting on me.” His eyes looked dead as he seemingly stared past you.

“No, Van, people are counting on you to stay healthy. You’ve obviously come down with something from stressing out and never getting the rest you need. How long have you been home for? And how much time have you actually spent here since you’ve been back?” The corners of his mouth turned up at the mention of your flat as “home,” but he let you finish. “I’m cancelling everything for you today.”

“Wait!” he called, but it sounded strangled from the coughing fit he’d had. You ducked into the bedroom and swooped his phone off the nightstand. You called Mike, relaying that Van was sick, and were surprised to hear that he too believed Van deserved a break. He let him off the hook for four days, and told you he’d call “the men upstairs” to cancel everything else as well. You called Larry next; apparently, everyone had been crossing their fingers against a Van break down, but it was about time he cracked. He’d been working more than he’d let on. Satisfied, you returned to the bathroom, where Van was still sat on the closed toilet lid.

The towel had dropped to just under his waist, and his hands were clasped between his knees. His head hung, resting on his hands. His wet hair glistened. You rubbed his knobby spine with your hand, and felt his breath hitch.

He was crying.

You’d never seen him like this before, debilitated. Van held in everything to keep composure, and felt that if he looked happy-go-lucky on the outside, he’d feel it on the inside. Too much work and focusing on others had led him to sacrifice time for himself. He desperately needed a reboot, and his body was beginning to crumble beneath the expectations he held himself to. The music wasn’t cutting it anymore. The thrashing on stage had been more violent than ever. The crying was taking every last bit of what he’d had to give.

You didn’t press. There were a few minutes of rubbing his back and neck, standing still above him, listening to his breath gasp and exhale, trying not to cry yourself. He looked so much smaller now, curled into himself. You closed your wet eyes and held back a sniffle.

His head slowly rose from his hands, and feeling the motion, you opened your eyes and kneeled on the bathmat in front of him. You took his shaking hands in yours. His eyes were red and bloodshot, and his cheeks stained with silent tears. “Baby, no one expects you to be a rockstar all the time. You have to know that everyone around you cares about you. We want you to be well. When you’re well, you can excel just like you always do. Like you want to.”

His head dipped down again and his lips puffed out. Another tear tracked down his face, rewetting the trail. In an almost garbled voice, he whispered, “I don’t want to let you down.”

“I’m the last person you have to worry about letting down. I’m proud of you, I’ll always be proud of you.” You knew nothing you said in the moment would make him feel better about his own pride being lost; actions would show him what he needed to feel. You stood up.

“Come on, let’s get you in bed. I’ll make your favorite soup. We can watch your favorite movies, and I’ll make you as many cups of tea as you like and I won’t complain when I have to get up to refill your cup.” You softly kissed his damp forehead, and readjusted the towel around his waist as he stood. For the first time since he came home, you noticed how thin he’d become. You wrapped your arms around his damp body and sighed into his chest. “Let’s get you in some comfy clothes.”

Tossing him a pair of track pants and a hoodie, you left him to dress himself. You walked to the kitchen and put the kettle on, and grabbed the box of DVDs from the lounge. You busied yourself while he calmed down in the other room.

“Psssssst,” Van whispered from the bedroom doorway when he was ready. You could tell he had already gained some color back in his cheeks just from emotional release and relief of duties.

“Yes, love?” You called out to him.

“Can you come lay with me?” His eyes were so big and blue peeking from behind the doorframe. You couldn’t refuse.

You juggled the soup, the tea mug, and a few DVDs in your arms and plunked everything down on the tray beside the bed. You jumped in next to him and snuggled into his side. He was fragrant from the shower; he’d used your shampoo. The fruity smell mixed with his own scent made you smile into his collarbone. You kissed in the little hollows, and he giggled because it tickled. You pet his hair as he drank from the tea mug, and his eyelids drooped. As he finished the cup and as his breathing slowed, you knew he was about to fall into a well-overdue wave of sleep. You peppered kisses over his nose as he spoke.

“I love you, you know.” He breathed out, stress leaving his face for the first time since he’d arrived.

“Yeah babe, I know. I love you too. Sleep.” He shifted under the blankets so that he was lying under your arm, cocooned into your side. His head rested on your shoulder, and the freckles on the bridge of his nose stood out under his long lashes. He sighed and you kissed the top of his head.

You were on the verge of sleep yourself, warm next to him, soft sounds of his favorite movie playing on the TV in the background. You tangled his hair in your fingers and sighed against his body.

Just as you were about to drift off, he rubbed his cheek against your shoulder and looked up at you through sleep-ridden eyes, finally at peace.

“Thank you.”

[survivormanhattanbeach]

Day 39: Rights of Passage

Dani: Your introduction video was amazing and I did try to talk to you about it during one world! I was very excited to play with you and was sad when you got first boot of the season. Stay amazing!!!

Jake: We didn’t talk much on our tribe and I knew you the least out of our OG tribe which is why I voted you. You seemed nice so it sucks we didn’t have more time to get to know each other.

Junior: I feel like you got bad luck when I’m around sorry about that

Sarah: It sucks that you were 1st boot because I was excited for the two of us to go far in the game together! 

Dani: We only talked briefly but I really wanted you to make it to single digits!!

Jake: We never spoke… gg.

Junior: None.

Sarah: I wish I had the opportunity to talk to you more! 

Dani: For some reason we didn’t talk at all during one world but you seemed pretty cool :)

Jake: I know you didn’t expect me to vote you out, but the cards just fell that way. It was really nice talking to you on our swapped tribe before that though.

Junior: Billy RIP the dream

Sarah: Your vote was hard for me honestly. You seemed so sweet and loyal and it sucks that I had to vote you out however I am glad we got to connect in the short time we played together.

Dani: We bonded over the hatred of flash games and I really wish we got to play together more!

Jake: Barely spoke but you seemed nice.

Junior: None.

Sarah: We were just starting to get better at talking when you were voted off, so that sucks. 

Dani: You seem so sweet and genuine I really wish we talked more when we had the chance!

Jake: Aww Ruthie, I was pretty shook to see you go so early. I expected you to get further and wanted to play with you for a bit. You’re the sweetest!

Junior: I was probably the most scared of you since ive heard how amazing you are and andreas would always hype you up and I was thinking it was going to be so hard to get you out so I’m blessed I didn’t have to face you.

Sarah: Ugh such a queen, I’m sorry you go voted so early on because you could have been such a good player to play with. Especially since we never get to really play with each-other

Dani: We connected so well during one world that it hurt to see you leave. You are genuinely so funny and sweet. I was looking forward to playing this game with you but then you got evicted AND UGH!!!!!! We never even got to really play together but you are a friend I know I made from this game and I am SOO grateful for that. Can’t wait to eat your food and have some retail therapy fun!!! ;)

Jake: I’m sorry again for your vote out man, you’re a great ally but the things you said to people just got to the point where me trying to keep you would’ve hurt my game in the long run. Thanks for understanding, you’re a legend. <3

Junior: Hey my dude you were great to be around maybe if we clutched that immunity challenge you could have made it farther tbh

Sarah: Kudos for trying so hard during this season. Hated to see you go but at that point it was you vs me and there was no way I was going down without swinging. 

Dani: Girl I tried to talk to you so many times to the point where I’m just convinced you hate females. ONLY because people would tell me how much you talk to them and I guess it’s also a little known that you aren’t a fan of other girls. Which is cool I guess?!?!

Jake: It’s the hot Jake who voted you out… sorry for not being more transparent about that vote, I was just paranoid about idols. I’m glad we got to play another game together though.

Junior: None.

Sarah:  I miss our calls-especially the tribe chat ones. You always brought a certain something to them and it always made me laugh. Lets catch up after the game.

Dani: I feel more than horrible about the way you went home. I am so so so sorry for stabbing you in the back that is not the way I ever intended on playing. I literally thought about it alll day long before tribal council. I AM SO SO SORRY for voting you after all you did for me. I know you truly trusted me and I just went and voted for you and blindsided you and ugh ugh ugh. You are truly a wonderful person and I’m so happy I got to know you. I really hope we can be friends outside of the game and just know what I did was 100% a game move and you are so fucking awesome!!

Jake: I don’t really feel bad for voting you out. You told me you wanted to work with me but then you hid an alliance from me and I could tell that I was just an extended number for you to use later on… and I don’t do that. I wish you would’ve taken your blindside like an adult since it is just a game, but if it was just a bad day and you calmed down, then cool. 

Junior: I hope you’re doing good it was nothing personal voting you out I hope you know that every single move that was made in this game was a game move but i hope you’re doing better 

Sarah: your vote off was the most shocking of the season. I had a blast connecting with you and I hope you come online so we can continue chatting because you’re hilarious :)  

Dani: I freaking loved working with you. I tried my hardest to try and get the votes off of you but I just couldn’t. I really wanted to work more than we did in the game but you were a “threat” (easy vote) for a lot of the people and I had to think about my own game at that point. Thank you for outting my extra vote and putting more of a target on my back LOL. I really loved talking to you and I loved the music video you made with your Minecraft sword! I hope we can be friends outside of the game because you are great :)

Jake: Keaton man, I feel like we never got to have a solid connection in the game since we were never on a tribe pre-merge and then we only played together in the merge for 2 rounds. I apologize for not reaching out to you as much as I could have,  but I must say that you’re exit speech was nothing short of being legendary haha.

Junior: You’re tribal was probably the most fun I’ve had all game and even though we didn’t talk as much as others I appreciate what you brought to the game 

Sarah: OMG KEATON I am so glad we connected and you made this game interesting by popping off at the tribal council. You went down throwing fists and I absolutely loved it and your outgoing personality. 

Dani: Oh lovely Tom. I truly thought of you as one of my allies until you made it so very obvious you were working against me! I love you as a person! You are hilarious and just so great! As a player you are kinda reckless which I respect because I could NEVER have the balls like you! You were fun to work with and talk to and the game has been more than boring (social wise)  since voting you out!  

Jake: What a weird relationship we’ve had throughout the years Tom. I was so shook to find out that you were Dylan from Zwooper and was convinced that you would be against me, then you proposed to work together, and I was pretty down for it. Early merge was actually a lot of fun calling you and strategizing, and this game made me realize that you’re a pretty nice guy. I don’t know if you’re confused as to why I voted you out, but it was mainly due to what happened after our call that round, and people telling me that you told them I suggested to you what you suggested to me first. I really didn’t know if I could trust you after that and I didn’t feel safe with you in the game knowing what I wanted to do. But still, I ended up leading you on that vote because of idol paranoia and I feel bad about it. I hope there’s no hard feelings over the game, because I really do want to continue talking now that we’re on good terms. 

Junior: Legit probably the only time I didn’t agree with the vote, I think this was the first time where i realized that I had to message a bit during work so I didn’t come back with the vote being set you were great person to talk to and appreciate you staying up on calls with me <3

Sarah: I do not know where to even begin with this, but I will try. Your vote off and how I handled it is my biggest regret in this game and to this day I still feel awful that we’re still not ruling manhattan beach together. Since the beginning of this game I wanted to work with you. You were always funny to talk to and we got along so well. The day I found out you were playing the middle and lying behind my back I had to vote you out before you could ruin my game. Now looking back on it, I can see our friendship was to the point that I should have come to you honestly so we could work past it. Feelings run high in this game and if I ever have hurt your feelings I am genuinely sorry and would love to talk more after the game because I would still like to remain friends. 

Dani: You were so fun to talk to and always had something funny to say in the main chat. I’m so sorry the way things went down. I truly did not want you to go but you were the only player other people would vote for aside from myself. Please keep being amazing!

Jake: Isaac you slut. Why do we never work together in games?? You tried snatching my ass the round you went so I HAD to go for you since you were the least likely to idol with the options I had. Even though we weren’t on the same page, your disturbing pictures and sense of humor legit always had me cracking tf up. Never change man, even Amanda Lynn would be proud of your faggotry.

Junior: I know we never had the best conversations but I knew we weren’t probably never going to work together in this game its nothing personal that’s just how some relationships workout in game you can’t be talk to everyone but you were funny and had a lot of memorable moments like that idol up your ass >.>

Sarah: EUUUGH. Your vote off was sad but expected. You know how much I loved working with you and how amazingly funny I think you are. I CANT WAIT to call and talk more about the game after all of this is over so I can laugh again 

Dani: GIRL I FUCKING LOVE YOU. I’m so sorry people got you out because they thought I was your number one. I know you were playing your own game and you showed that to me several times. I respect the fuck out of you and I’m still sad you went the way you did. I hope we get to play together again!!!

Jake: Lucy! We didn’t start playing together until the merge and I’m glad that we got to work together for a bit. I was so happy that the Mark vote worked out and you stayed, and it sucked to see you get voted out, especially since I didn’t expect it LOL. You killed it this game considering how much your time zone affected talking to people, and I’m glad that we got to work together in this.

Junior: The one time in the game i felt truly blindsided, this vote really taught me a lesson that you’re not always 100 percent in control but its what you do afterwards that matters, you are always a joy to talk to even though our time zones were so messed up lol

Sarah: Queen of wanting 3-3-3 votes and trying to make big moves. God you were fun to talk to and I love how much you came for ppl in a round about way. I wish you, isaac and I were in an alliance. It would have been so funny. 

Dani: I love you as a person, but as a player I think we drove eachother crazy. I know you trusted me and I ruined that trust during the mark vote, but I did try to get it back several times. You just were not having it which is completely understandable! I really am sorry for the mark vote, but everything else I did NOT SORRY AT ALL!

Jake: Oh Ryan… I don’t blame you if you went from being excited to playing with me at the start to wanting to slit my throat by the end haha, I really was a little bitch to you at times. I was soooo excited to play with you in the beginning, and I kinda touched on how I started to feel like we were growing distant by the time we merged, and I still think that a lot of our issues arrised from miscommunications that I could’ve fixed by talking to you. I feel bad for how our game relationship fell apart near the end, but I knew that I had to take you out no matter what because IMO you were setting yourself up to steamroll to the end and win hands down with how good you were starting to get people to vote with you. You are such an impressive player and an even nicer guy outside of the game. I hope that we can continue talking after this.

Junior: Literally Sandra Diaz Twine second coming like you were all about surviving until the next vote and I respected that so much you were one to never shy away from having a conversation and didn’t matter who wronged you you were going to look at all the angles to save yourself. To think the way you went out was with an idol play very iconic.

Sarah: I respect your game SO MUCH. You are a fighter and I love that I had the opportunity to work with you the majority of this game. Even when our alliance was on the bottom you were always looking for creative ways to get us out of the situation. In the end, I wanted to play my idol on you but I felt like something suspicious was happening so I had to protect my game. Hope you understand. 

Dani: You are a great player and I respected most of your gameplay this season. I understand why you did everything you did! And thank you so much for doing it because we were being targeted for being together and you took that target away! Our main chat fight was the first time I’ve ever cried because of survivor. When you left and said it was fake,  EVERYONE knew you were lying because two of the people still in the game heard me sob during the fight. Honestly I was 100% on board with us working together again but when no one would budge I had to vote you for my own game. I really hope we can be friends outside of the game and I think you are an amazing player.

Jake: DAN. I really thought we would low-key be at each others necks this game, and I mean we were, but we did work together for a bit!! I’m really glad that you proposed an alliance early on, because the time we spent working together was a lot of fun. Then you went and backstabbed me… bitch. Lol just kidding, no hard feelings for that and I appreciate you for not taking in personal when I came for you in routine. Like Ryan, I thought you were the other big threat to win since I know you’re a strong player and that if you talked enough you could get people back on your side. But I’m  really glad that I got to know you more in this game. I really appreciate you being so supportive of my um… boo thang endeavours, and I can’t wait to update you on him!! Pls keep being an icon and I hope we stay friends after this :)

Junior: Honestly still think you have that idol lol but I’m sorry we never clicked I know that’s just how the game goes and I am not going to be able to click with all 19 other castaways hopefully you can see it like that and still able to respect each other games cause I know you came to play since that first merge vote and you fought hard even till the end #chaosdan

Sarah: A KING. I am sad it came down to you vs me however if for some reason I left in f7 instead I would have been happy I lost to someone who played the game so well and tried so hard to get as far as possible. 

Dani: You played the fucking middle like a KING. I tried to keep you in the game but turns out you were really campaigning against me (which I understand). I honestly think you could have won the entire game if you made it to the end. I highly respect your gameplay and wish to learn from you. THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU!!!

Jake: I was so happy to be cast with you since we’ve legit known each other for like… what 4 years now?! Ugh, we worked together so well for a lot of this game, and then things just hit the fan near the end haha. I tried to keep you included in stuff that was going on behind the scenes, but after telling you to use your idol and you using it successfully, I started to believe that going to the end with you would make it so hard for me to pitch my case to win against you, which is why I made the move against you. I really expected you to drag my ass and come for my life, so um I was pleasantly surprised to see you not be as angry as I thought and I appreciate it a lot. Anyways I’m not used to being this nice to you since we literally fight every other day so um… fuck you. But really though, I’m glad we finally played a legit game together after all this time, it really was a blast playing with you.

Junior: Through our conversations early merge until you got voted out I had the best times with you I know we left off on not the best note but at the end of the day this is just a game for me and I will not take anything personally with what you have to say with the way I played the game I respect your opinion (even though i do believe you are one of the best players to play this season) you came to play and will have the most iconic play of the season!

Sarah: I WISH WE CONNECTED MORE IN THE GAME. I WILL PUT THIS IN CAPS SO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I MEAN IT. You are so FUCKING funny but tbh I am glad you’re gone because you were going to destroy me <3 ;)

Dani: ANDREAS!! The kindest person I met in the entire game. I’m sorry you went out the way you did. I voted for you and didn’t tell you partly because I fell asleep and partly because I just didn’t feel like having that conversation. WHICH I AM SO SO SORRY ABOUT. You deserved to know you were going. Thank you for keeping me sane throughout the game. And thank you so much for your kind words even when you voted for me LOL! You are a freaking comp beast and you scared everyone due to that!! Again, thank you for everything.

Jake: Hey boyyyyy. I don’t know what it was, but I was drawn to working with you right when we swapped tribes. It’s so nice playing with people like you are are calm and collected, and down to earth and I got that vibe from you right away. We were on the same page for most of the game until the final 6 when you went around telling people I was a threat to win, and then told me that TO MY FACE!!! Hahaha I appreciate your complete honesty, but I did not feel comfortable going any farther with you because I had a feeling you would push for me to go at some point, which is why I wanted to vote you out at the final 5. Regardless, I really think you played an amazing UTR game that you would’ve been able to explain well at FTC. Not sure if others saw it that way, but from playing with you for almost the entire game, I knew what you were capable of, and it’s impressive. But yeah man, I still enjoyed playing with you a ton, and we need to play something on the Switch soon when I’m less busy with school, because I need to kick your ass at Smash Bros too. ;)

Junior: I feel bad knowing you were going home and i guess giving you hope that you were safe I feel like I did that a lot this season I completely will understand if you or others felt like I gave false hope until the end but my motto this whole season was, it’s gotta be a blindside, apart from that, theres no one else i wouldnt want to be a goat with <3

Sarah: I loved being able to connect with you and see how you think game wise. We are very similar when it comes to our game play but I just am a little bit more crazy. You were fun to work with and you made me laugh at how honest you were. It was much appreciated which is why I want to return the favour to you whenever you wish! 

[swordmaid]

i hate getting super fixated on something then dropping it a week later. it distracts me from everything ( stress , getting overwhelmed , etc ) which is … nice but when I drop it everything floods back and I'm like what the fcuk ?? i hate getting super obsessed with something too ( esp. w/ my current interest now. they're real ppl n I just feel super annoying n creepy always looking for content abt them … ) bc when u drop it all the lov u had for it disperses ?? it's so hard to enjoy anything !! 😣😣😣 I still lov the thing not rlly ?? tf I need the distraction though or else I just feel super anxious w everything it's so terrible. how do people just generally enjoy life without stressing about everything. a fucking wild concept I cannot grasp i had a brief chat w my mother abt what I'm feeling and how I feel overwhelmed and all she tells me that it's just mind over matter and I just have to /stop/ feeling anxious I'm like what !!!! what ??¿¿!! you know if I can just / stop / feeling anxious I'd love to !! binch if I can stop feeling like shit everyday I would !! i didn't choose to react like this !! if it was that easy I'd hav no problem n i'd stop whinging and whining and complaining !! god I don't even know. I've been so overwhelmed this week esp with class starting again I had to go to the bathroom multiple times to calm myself it's gross ugh. sleeping is so hard too bc I don't hav any distractions n my morning anxiety comes back to me so I end up staying up at 4 am writing my feelings down in a blog where strangers could read it and I have class at 8 am that I'd probably miss