#ugh they have their little family and their weird little ways and routines in their relationship

[pangzi]

i keep wondering what it is about oyeicher that just hits so good as if the answer isn't just that i'll never be able to resist it when two people are just absolute simps for each other in their own ways...

[lovingapparition]

If Would Sure Do Me Good (to do you good)

Genre: Angst, Slow Burn, Smalltown American Aesthetics

Pairing: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Reader

A retired Simon moves to town. There are vibes.

Light warning for not very subtle sugar daddy implications that will ramp up later on.

AO3 Link

Modern civilization would be all but dead and gone, turned to dust, before this guy stopped talking. He's a regular at this dingy little convenience store, in at exactly 5:15pm Monday through Friday because it's, ��just down the road from my job, and on my way home!” he reminds you, over and over as if you could possibly forget after being told for the second time that week. He insists you call him Pat but you never do, he's mostly just this fucking guy in your head. And boy, does this fucking guy love to yap your ears off. 

You blink rapidly, not that he notices, focusing in on his hands. They're dirty, always are, with some weird mystery grime that makes you vaguely queasy when he hands you his warm dollar bills. You think he might be a mechanic, he must have told you at some point, but information like that doesn't really stick during the evening rushes because hello dude there's like ten people behind you- 

Deep breaths. You are taking deep breaths, nodding, and smiling. The guy pauses for a breath, and you pounce. “So your total’s gonna be $13.47, the usual,” with a tight smile, your jaw a little clenched. Across the counter, he hums and digs his wallet out of his pocket. He's still describing something, gesticulating with his free hand before he pulls out a few bills. Through a couple of well-placed hums and nods you manage to focus on counting the proper change from the drawer. He pockets it without recounting his bills, too busy looking right at you as he tells you to, “Have a good night. Stay warm, honey.” 

Ugh. 

At least the next few transactions go quick, other people also getting off work but not as willing to talk your ear off. The weather was too cold for anyone else to feel like idly chatting. Your shift was just beginning, and already you felt worn out. Working evenings into the early hours of the morning wasn't ideal, but a job is a job. You value paying your rent more than seeing the sun or having time to hang out with your friends and family, at the moment. At least your cat was always happy to see you at one in the morning. 

When the first rush eventually slows down, you're able to take what feels like your first real breath since clocking in. You let your mind wander as you wipe the counters down, fill out the daily logs, and stare at the grimy spot on the ceiling that seems to grow inch by inch each time it rains or snows. It's all become a familiar routine, as horrifically boring as it is. You'd listen to a podcast or something in one ear bud if you could, but your phone barely got service inside the old building. A perk of the cheapest phone plan you could find.

The night goes without too much fuss, and when you've tidied the shelves and double-checked that your boss hasn't left any cryptic notes for you to interpret, you find yourself leaning against the counter. There's early 2000’s rock playing softly over the old speakers, and you desperately wish that your boss would give you permission to change it to anything other than 98.8 FM The Rock. 

Against your will you hum along to a Nickelback song as you watch the clock tick its way closer and closer to 9:30pm. Lunch. Also known as the only time you were allowed to lock the store. Your boss doesn't really vibe with the idea of paying two people at a time, so obviously you still had to help customers on your fifteen-minute breaks.

Halfway through the song you step out from behind the counter to go lock the front door. It's dark outside, and the street lamps cast everything in a warm, rusty yellow. The unshoveled and slushy snow looks like crushed gold, mixed with the oil and dirt from the parking lot. Inside, the lights inside Mo’s Mart buzz overhead. Their sickly green cast makes you feel a little ill if you think about it too hard. Looking outside just reminds you of it. You try to not feel disappointed as you trudge back to the counter to sit down for the first time in four and a half hours. 

The stool beneath you is only a little rickety, and you sigh as you lower yourself into it. For lunch you pull a bag of potato chips out of your bag. You'd bought them from the store yesterday and saved half for tonight. At a certain point the frozen burritos and hot pockets stopped being appetizing. This isn't much better, though. The chips are already going a little stale, gumming up in your molars as you chew. 

You're in the middle of digging at the crevices in your teeth with your tongue, zoned completely out as you stare at yesterday's crossword section from a newspaper your boss had left out. To be without. Six letters across and it ends in T. You're tapping your pen against the paper in thought, trying to ignore the urge to check the clock to see how much time you've got left on your break. You know you've got to have at least- 

The locked front door clunking in the frame snatches your attention. You sigh. There are three loud knocks on the glass. You set your pen down. Without a doubt in your mind you know you taped the handwritten, “On break! Back at 10!” sign up at eye level. When you look up and make eye contact with the man out front, this only seems to incense him. You recognize him, a regular who's never really happy about anything. Why he keeps shopping at Mo’s you'll never understand. He shouts something that's muffled through the door, like you're the asshole right now. A quick glance tells you that you've got eight minutes until the inevitably awkward confrontation where you have to let him in. You would rather sink into the tiled floor and never come out. It almost makes the rest of the break not even worth taking.

Almost. 

Trying to quell the unease his presence brings, you stay behind the counter. It's your break, and it's your right to take it without having to worry about some guy who wants his convenience store snacks in the middle of the night.

When you approach the door you try to avoid his eyes, you can practically feel him staring daggers already. As soon as the lock turns in your fingers he's pushing the door open, brushing past you as he haphazardly stomps the snow and salt off of his boots. You mentally add sweeping and mopping back onto your short mental to-do list. 

You count your breath on the inhale, and again on the exhale, as you walk back to the counter. The small monitor on the cluttered counter shows the store’s security cameras on three separate little boxes. You’re vaguely aware of the man hovering by the liquor section, but you can’t bring yourself to head out into the center of the store to bother him in the hopes of deterring theft, your boss be damned. His abrupt entry brought in enough cold air to make you shiver and jam your hands into your pockets. Standing behind the counter gives you an odd sense of security as the guy wanders from aisle to aisle. You know exactly where the store's panic button is under the counter should anything go away. Some cynical part of you wonders if it even works, knowing how cheap Mo is. 

The door chiming as someone else enters the store jolts you out of thought. You turn your head to greet the customer and you're met with probably the scariest individual you've ever seen. He's huge, wearing a heavy black work coat that doesn't hide the bulk of his body. The fact that he's wearing a skull print balaclava is what makes it worse. This guy could be totally normal and just wearing it because it's snowing out. He could also be about to ruin your night. 

He's looking right at you as he beelines to the counter. 

Anxiety bleeds into your hands, makes them feel like you've just stuck them in freezing water. Slowly, you take them out of your pockets and press them flat on the counter. You watch your own fingers spread out. From some job training or another, you recall that it's worse to look into the eyes of someone trying to rob you. “Hey there,” you try and fail to sound like you're not nervous. “What can I get you?” He's quiet for a long time. Too long. Risking a glance up at him, you find he's not even looking at you. The guy is carefully scanning the rows of cigarettes behind you.

You breathe a small sigh of relief. He doesn't say anything and you don't feel like pushing your luck tonight. You scoot over to the side and quietly thumb over your abandoned crossword. With a quick glance up you can see the man running a gloved hand over his jaw. There's a faint sound of his stubble rubbing against the balaclava. His eyes are dark, half lidded. Without moving his head, his gaze flicks to meet yours, and you look away without even thinking. Bright blue. Jesus Christ this is awkward. You tap your pen against the newsprint, wishing whatever was happening right now would just end. This guy isn't a regular, and he's certainly no one you've ever seen around town. Fingers crossed he's just passing through, never to be seen again. 

“Hey dickhead, anytime now!” Your head jerks up. The masked man slowly looks over his shoulder. The guy who came in earlier is cradling a bottle of cheap rum and a liter of coke, clearly pissed about the long wait. Your stomach feels like it's about to fall out of your ass. A stranger you've never seen and a pissy regular, what could possibly go wrong? Chewing at your lip, you take a step back from the counter. 

“Hey Marvin, I can get you over here. Relax,” you say over the stranger's shoulder, just barely managing to remember his name. You've carded him everyone else in this town enough to remember a few faces. The giant man in front of you steps over wordlessly as if Marvin hadn't just insulted him. Wanting to get him out as quickly as possible to avoid anymore confrontation, you check Marvin out. He's still grumbling to himself, working the toothpick in his cheek with his teeth. “Have a good night. Drive safe,” you tell him as you hand him his brown paper-bagged liquor. Marvin scoffs at you and yanks his items from your hands. You try not to react as he lets the door slam on his way out. 

The fluorescent lights buzz above you. Coldplay is on the radio, crackling softly. The man approaches your register, already reaching into his coat for his wallet. “I'll have your cheapest menthols,” he rumbles in an accent you've definitely never heard in town. What the hell was this guy doing in Mo’s this late at night? The vibes were sketching you the fuck out. You school your face into as neutral of an expression as you can manage and turn to reach for a pack of Marlboro Black Menthol 100’s from the shelf of tobacco products behind you. The man is looking down at your crossword, still unfinished, when you turn back to him. You were half tempted to ask where he was from. You don’t. 

When you ask him for ID he hands you a card from his wallet. Upon inspection, you find that it’s a British Military ID and heavily censored. It only tells you his first and last name initials. S. R. The photo is censored as well. As far as you can tell, it looks real to you. If it’s not, then he’s gone through an awful lot of effort for the worst cigarettes Mo’s has to offer. You weren’t in the business of prying. Most everyone else who lives in town you stopped carding years ago. Over time you just know through the grapevine who has what birthdays and when. Hard not too. Regardless, you nod uneasily at the man and carefully slide his ID back to his side of the counter.

You tell the man his total and he slides you a crisp twenty, avoids touching you directly. With a quick hand, you count his change back to him. It's all very normal until he neatly drops the cash into the dusty tip jar by the register. What the fuck? The cigarettes were barely five dollars, and you're pretty sure in your entire tenure at Mo's you've never been tipped anything other than the loose coins people don't want to keep. You're in the middle of trying to figure out how to thank him when he nods to you once, and turns to leave. 

Stunned, you have no idea how to react. Genuinely what the fuck was any of that? You eye the tip jar suspiciously as if the man had filled it with Monopoly money instead of enough cash to buy yourself a couple of hot meals. You entertain the idea of going to the local burger place you used to love as a kid. Hot, fresh fries and a large coke would probably fix you at least a little bit, you think. When you return to the comfort of your crossword you see in very neat, small handwriting, that the last word has been penned in. 

Bereft. 

The rest of the night goes without much else of note happening. You sweep the floors and mop the salt and grey sludge from the entrance. The coolers are stocked and the cash drawer is counted when your replacement arrives at two in the morning. Mo liked to keep the place open 24 hours since it was close enough to a busy highway that folks came through at all hours of the day. Your coworker, Olivier, arrives a little early so you can check them out at the register. Each morning they like to buy an energy drink in a tall pink can and whatever gummies they wanted to snack on that day. You enjoyed the little moments you got to have together. Olivier was one of the few people in this town who you could relate to. Their hair seemed to change color and style by the week, and they always had the best fashion sense. It seemed they were an expert at thrifting in a way you could only dream of. Layering different fabrics and patterns, they seemed to somehow never repeat an exact outfit.

“How was everything? Good night?” they ask, already rooting through their bag of gummies for the blue ones. You shrug, making a high-pitched noise somewhere in your throat. Olivier, bless them, immediately understands. “Did that weird masked guy come in again? He pulled in with a giant moving truck the other night.”

This immediately perks you up. “No shit?” That guy was moving here? “What's wrong with him?” you half-joke as you punch out on the register. Olivier chuckles with you, and the shared judgment over a new face in town reminds you how glad you are to have them. These small moments in the quiet hours of the morning made the town feel like it wasn't so small and empty. 

As you pull your heavy coat on you look out the windows into the parking lot. The lot had been heavily salted, but it was dusting snow. You could see the suspended motes in the yellow street lights outside. Part of you was a little jealous of Olivier. This time of the morning always seemed so peaceful and quiet. You knew you’d never want to work their hours though. Waking up at midnight to get ready for work? No thanks. You wish Olivier a good shift as you pull your gloves on, before pushing out into the parking lot. The air shocks a chill into your chest as you breathe it in. Your breath puffs in a heavy cloud as you exhale. Already you could feel your fingers burning as the cold licked it’s way through your heavy layers. Awkwardly, to avoid slipping, you shuffle your way across the lot to your truck. It’s a little blue beat-up thing. How you’ve managed to keep it running all these years, you have no idea. Apparently, luck and hoping for the best are good enough for the ancient beater. It takes a couple tries to get the engine to turn over, and you sigh in relief when it finally roars to life. After idling in the cabin for a few minutes, you shift into drive and begin the slow crawl home. The roads aren’t plowed, but it’s not slick enough to worry you. The sound of snow crunching beneath the tires, barely audible over the low hum of the radio, accompanies you home. 

When you pull into the driveway you can feel your shift finally weighing down on you. You turn the key and slouch down in the seat, eyes shut. Your feet are cold. Your shoulders sag under your heavy coat, but you're somehow not warm enough. The cold always finds a way in. After a few moments, you manage to drag yourself out of the truck and you make the short walk to your front door. The only benefit of small-town living was the fact that you could afford the rent on this little house. Never mind the fact that you were pretty sure your landlord lived about an hour and forty-five minutes up the highway and owned most of the houses in your street. 

Your nightly routine goes without much fuss. Tabitha, your cat, is pleased that you've come home on time to refill her dish with wet food. You undress, shower, and bundle back up in your warmest sleeping clothes. The house is cold, no matter how well you insulate the windows and the cracks in the baseboards. In the dark, you sit in bed with microwaved pasta in its plastic packaging with the instructions on the side. It's not good but it warms your belly and fills you up. As you eat you scroll on your phone, lazily browsing your social media and clicking through posts. Your mind wanders to the man you saw today. He was odd, and him moving here was even stranger. In all your life you can't really remember anyone moving into the town. Mostly your friends from high school have slowly trickled out, save for Olivier. You weren't sure why you'd never left for the bigger city, you'd just never felt the pull to get out and see more. 

When you sleep that night it's restless as ever. You wake up often, teeth chattering. Your cat is nestled somewhere beneath the blankets with you, and you're careful not to roll onto her. You vow to do a once over, just to see if you can stuff any more of your hand-me-down towels into the draftier baseboards. It feels like it's been winter forever now, but with Christmas barely around the corner, you knew it had just begun. 

—

You start seeing that guy around town. You pass by him in the grocery store. He's got a cart full of stuff, and you figure he's just stocking his kitchen. You grab your scant groceries, milk, and some canned goods that will last. While you're in the checkout line he pushes his cart behind you, leaving a respectful amount of space. You're not really the type to engage in the painfully long-winded Midwestern custom of talking about everything you possibly can, so you don't acknowledge him. You set your items down on the belt when it's your turn, and you offer a polite smile to the cashier. 

“Hey, find everything okay?” he asks, nice as you please. 

“I did, thanks Carter.” He was a few grades above you back in school. He also stuck around after his class had graduated. You vaguely wonder each time about his dreams of joining the military, and whatever happened to them. Maybe it was just life that happened. You know he's got a little boy to take care of with his high school sweetheart and another on the way. Maybe that was all it came down to, at the end of the day. 

Carter tells you your total and you mentally curse. You'd counted your cash twice before you'd come in the store, and you were certain you'd been doing the right math as you grabbed your items. Carter gently angles the register's screen to you so you can see the line items. God damn. You'd just plain miscalculated, probably too tired to keep it all straight in your head. You look down at the things you'd grabbed, trying to calculate what you could do without. You force a laugh. Humiliation roils in a dark pit in your chest. You find yourself speaking without thinking, “Oh whoops! Sorry, go ahead and take off the soup cans.” Carter, bless his heart, doesn't make a fuss. He punches the register keys quickly and counts the cash you hand him. You very much do not want to look at the stranger behind you. You pray to whatever god might be listening that maybe he wasn't being as nosey as everyone else was in this town, and that he didn't just hear that you can't really afford an armful of groceries. 

Carter hands you your single plastic bag, tells you to “Have a good one, hon,” You speed walk back to your truck, your breath puffing in clouds around you. 

–

The next time you see him you're driving to work. The radio is playing softly and your truck's heaters are blowing semi-cold air onto you. You're stopped at a light when you see the guy, dressed in a light coat and the same balaclava. He's jogging, somehow managing to work a sweat on the cold. You have no idea what kind of psychopath goes on a run in the dead of winter. When the light turns green you have to drag your eyes off of him before you accelerate through the light. 

It was rare that anyone in your town went on a jog. Unheard of in the winter. You were certain the old ladies would be gossiping up a storm at church. You figured it was no different than you and Olivier at Mo’s. You smile at the thought of sharing your sighting of the masked stranger with Olivier tonight. The little chats in the quiet morning hours were a light in the dark of winter. 

It was easy to get lost in the cold. It seemed all your waking hours were spent in the dark, during these months. You'd wake up later in the afternoon, always too tired to rise any earlier. It wasn't great for your mental health, but neither would being homeless. You'd take your victories where you could get them. Without much family nearby to rely on, you had to get by on your own.

The joy of adulthood.

–

You see him again that same night. He comes in around midnight. He's the first customer in around an hour. There had been a small rush of truckers passing through, trying to make it off the major highways before some snowfall was forecast to hit the area. You note that he's better dressed for the weather than he was earlier while he was jogging. He's in the same black work coat and leather gloves as before. You find it hard to meet his eye when he approaches the counter. 

Something about seeing him in town made the transaction feel off in a way that you've never experienced before. Getting Janet her pack of Marlboro Reds and ringing her son Nick up for his energy drinks was never sullied by the fact that you saw them at the Sonic Drive-In in their old beater from time to time. Seeing him now with the sense that he was apparently sticking around in town made you feel strange. You didn't know anything about him besides his initials and the skull print on his balaclava. Knowing he was likely some retired military operative from a foreign country was nerve-wracking and exciting and weird as hell for your little town. You had no idea how to interact with him. 

When you're getting the register open to count his change, you can't help but blurt out, “Are you liking it here?” Immediately you wish you could stuff the words back in your mouth when you see his eyes flick to meet yours. How on Earth could anyone be enjoying one of the worst winters your town has seen in years? 

To your surprise he humors you. “It's nice. Quiet,” he says after a beat. You blink at him, quickly looking back down to the cash you're supposed to be counting back to him. 

“Good. That's good. Folks can be weird about new people, but I'm glad you're settling in.” Oh God, you're rambling. Make it stop. 

To this, he hums. It's a low sound, almost silent, deep in his chest. You suppose that's the only response you're getting as he accepts the cash. You slide his pack of menthols across the counter. Your eyes widen as he doesn’t even recount the bills you’ve handed him, just folds them once and drops them into the tip jar. Sputtering already, cheeks red with embarrassment, you search for words but find none. This had to be about the grocery store. You were completely fine. Really, you were. You get paid this week and you would definitely go back to the store and probably pick up some extra groceries. None of this is coming out of your mouth though, as the man has basically vanished already. You can hear his truck starting up outside, the crunch of the snow and gravel as it pulls out of the lot. 

Guilt rolls through you, thick and familiar. You had no idea what to make of this guy. First, he blows into your dead-end town and starts leaving you ridiculous tips on the cheapest cigarettes possible? What the fuck? It makes you feel ashamed and unnerved. No one had ever given you more than the change they simply didn’t want to carry around, and you’d never expected anything more than that. 

When you talk it over with Olivier that night in the early hours, they eye you mischievously, clearly very interested in the man’s motives to give you excessively large tips. “C’mon, let the guy toss you a little cash here and there, it’s a free country. He can do what he wants, even if it's to give all his money away,” they tease over the lip of an energy drink. You hang your head, groaning in response. 

“I dunno… I don’t know what to make of it, is all,” you admit. That little pit of nervousness in your gut had been sitting heavily all night. Olivier gives you a pitying look. 

“Don’t worry too much about it, I think you should just let it ride. And tell me all of the details.” You can’t help but choke a small laugh at their insistence on being in the know. Almost nothing new ever came to town, of course it was the juiciest thing ever to Olivier. You give them a weary smile and wish them a good shift before heading out.

–

The next few weeks are more of the same. You see the man around town, like any other local. At the grocery store, he’s always got a cart full of food, and you’re sure to hurry off out of his way with your armfuls of items. Once or twice you’ve seen him meandering around the local shops, and you sort of dread the idea of running into him at the little cafe you sometimes indulge in when you’ve got a little extra cash on hand. Something in you wanted to be protective of your favorite spots in town, but you knew it was irrational. Soon enough he would be just as familiar to the folks around here as you were. 

Without fail, he continued to come into Mo’s with large bills. He’d ask you for his cigarettes, tip you far too much, and leave before you could really say anything about it. He never spoke to you more than you spoke to him and he was never anything other than perfectly polite. You hadn’t begun to have a single idea as to why he insisted on tipping so much. 

Eventually, you had come to terms with his insistence on leaving all of his excess cash with you. You started squirreling some of it away, using it specifically on groceries and smaller bills. It was nice to have a little extra padding in your wallet, especially during these cold months. You definitely weren’t touching the thermostat though, that’s for sure. Old habits, and all that. It was easiest to be thankful, to not look this gift horse in the mouth, and to do your best to just keep pushing through the winter. 

–

A winter storm was forecast for your town. The weatherman you’d grown up watching warned this would be one of the worst in years, and to stock up on the essentials. You knew you had about a month’s worth of cat food and a few cans of something or other in the back of your cupboards and called it good before heading to work that day. Calling out wasn’t really a thing Mo liked you to do. It didn’t help that you’d woken early today, sweating through your layers of blankets and somehow still chilled to the bone. 

Getting ready for your shift had taken about twice the time. You’d taken a cold shower, teeth chattering and your stomach turning the entire time. You did not look in the mirror while brushing your teeth and getting dressed. It had to be bad, the way folks looked at you when you arrived. You were bundled up in a hoodie and an oversized flannel. There was something about being ill that just made the cold weather feel so much worse. The black K-95 mask you’re wearing isn’t doing much to hide the puffiness or dark circles under your eyes. The near-constant sniffling and perspiration aren’t doing you any favors. 

Between the little rushes of your shift, you unabashedly sit on the floor behind the counter, not caring if Mo saw you on the cameras and wanted to give you a pissy little talk about it later. You hadn’t had any medicine to take at home and all the store carried were caffeine pills and Tylenol for eight dollars per two-pack. You do your best to stay hydrated, refilling a small styrofoam cup from the soda machines often. The water tastes vaguely like Hi-C Punch, and you try to not think about it. When you’re able to focus on your own hands, you see them shaking as they bring the cup to your lips. 

You think it’s around one in the morning when you hear the door chime. Close to the start of Oliver’s shift, the end of yours. No one has been in the store since around eight, you think. Time has stopped feeling real at this point. Breathing heavily, you muster the strength to stand. You lean heavily over the counter, trying to wet your mouth against the sudden nausea crawling up your throat. Under your layers, you’re sweating and chilled and just so uncomfortable. Whoever’s just entered the store stomps the snow off of their boots, and you can hear their steps squeak on the linoleum straight to your counter. A quick glance up and you’re making eye contact with the masked man who has become strangely familiar to you. 

You can only manage a nod to acknowledge him, before turning around to grab his cigarettes. He’d been in the night before, so you weren’t expecting him tonight. Normally his packs last him a few days. Why would he come out so late, especially during this bad weather? You can’t really bring yourself to think too critically right now, instead choosing to focus on not passing out before you can clock out and go home. When you turn around, pack of menthols in hand, you find that the man is eyeing you more intently than normal. You think? The mask made it hard to tell. Your hands are shaking, you realize it just as the cigarettes slip from your fingers. 

“Fuck, ‘m sorry-” You bend to pick them up and are met with a rush of blood in your ears. When you rise you lean against the counter for a moment, eyes closed. It would later come back to you as an embarrassing moment, but currently, you’re focusing very hard on staying upright. 

“You're sick,” the man says, so plainly it's kind of funny. You huff a small laugh, nodding. 

“Why’re you here? Storm’s gonna get bad tonight.” It’s a poor attempt at deflecting the obvious statement. Something bristled in you at him, it was enough that he’d seen you at the grocery store. Being seen by him like this now, especially after all the cash tips he’s been leaving you, makes you feel cagey and defensive.

“I could ask you the same.” He slides you a twenty as he says this. You meet his eyes, briefly. It’s easier to look at him with half of your face covered, you realize. Maybe that’s why he’s never been seen around town without his balaclava. He meets your gaze evenly, seemingly unaware of the shame that pulses under your skin. You sniffle loudly, not looking down at the bill on the counter. You’ve got about a dozen questions for him, but your jaw is clenched so tightly you’re not sure where to even begin. Just when you’ve worked up the nerve to fire a question at the man, the door chimes. 

Both of you turn to see Olivier entering the shop. They wave one mittened hand at you. “Oh hey! You’re here too, Simon. Nice to see you again.” Simon? Somehow Olivier had failed to mention his name after all this time. Admittedly, you’d never even thought to ask. He’d never introduced himself formally, and you weren’t one to pry, especially into the lives of odd men who only buy their cigarettes after sundown. Simon raises a hand to greet Olivier, the most human thing you’ve seen him do so far. 

“Hey Liv,” you croak, clearing your throat a little. At the sound of your wrecked voice, Olivier grimaces at you. Already, they’re reading into their tote back and donning a mask. 

“Stay over there, and disinfect the counter when you leave!” They harp, only half joking. You nod wearily and quickly check Simon’s cigarettes out on the register. It feels strange to even think of him using his first name. Simon takes his leave, and as soon as you've got your coat on you’re following right behind him, waving a quick goodbye to Olivier as you go. They’re immunocompromised, and the last thing you want is to make their life harder by getting them sick.

The snow falls heavily, immediately sticking to your eyelashes and blinding you. You drag your gloved hands over your eyes, trying to clear them. Blinking rapidly, you see that the parking lot is a smooth expanse of honeyed yellow. The street lamp makes the area look warmer than it is. You can already feel the cold sinking into your fingertips. The trees on the edges of the lot are bowed heavily under the snow’s weight. When you step into the lot, the snow is powdery soft, but icey beneath. Not good. It would be a very slow drive home once you got your truck moving. The snow is only about halfway up the tires, but you’d still need to shovel it out to give it a fighting chance of leaving the lot if you could get it started in this cold. 

When you get it started. 

Historically, your beloved fossil of a truck has not done well in the cold. You’d been meaning to replace the battery and get the transmission checked out this Summer. You had forgotten. 

The sound of snow crunching behind you tells you that Simon has not left the lot, and is apparently watching you have your silent meltdown now. Great. “You want some help getting that snow shoveled?” It’s strange hearing him outside of the contained environment that is Mo’s. The wind changes his voice. It’s odd to be shoulder to shoulder with him, and not talk about cigarettes. Dejected, you know when to choose your battles. You nod your head and lead him to the driver's side door of the truck. 

“I might need a jump, it really doesn’t do well in this weather,” you admit wearily. Simon nods like he knows that already. Maybe he did, it’s not exactly the nicest-looking vehicle anyone’s ever seen. You crank the door open and hop in the seat. When turning the engine over multiple times does nothing but pitifully crank the engine, you lean your forehead against the steering wheel in defeat. Before you can say anything you can't fight the urge to suddenly cough. You turn away from Simon, who's kind of hovering near the open door of your truck, to bury your mouth in your elbow to cough. You've honestly had enough of being gross and embarrassed in front of this guy for one night. When your coughing fit is done you lean back, exhausted, against the seat. Your throat is raw, and your entire body feels weak. The thought of shoveling out your truck and waiting on the battery to charge fills you with dread. “Fuck this, man.” 

Snow has started sticking to Simon's coat, dusting white onto the black fabric. He's standing a small distance away with his hands in his pockets, giving you a decent amount of space. “You want a ride home? Can come deal with it in the morning with you, if you like.” You turn your head to regard him, thankful again for your mask to hide behind. There's plenty of security footage of him coming into the store over and over again. You supposed if he wanted to kill you there would be at least a half-decent physical description. Plus Olivier probably knew more about him, given that they're a chatterbox no matter the time of day. 

Your eyes flick out to the lot. The snow shows no sign of stopping. Fuck it. 

“My house isn't far from here.”

[crybabycinna]

Dancer

Lin Beifong x reader x suyin beifong

Summary: both Lin and Su like you but you’re very oblivious to Su’s advances (thank you to @2sosa for requesting this! 💖)

You live in Zafuo with the Beifong family since you were one of Su’s dancers. Su liked to house her dancers since you all performed often. You’ve met Su’s sister Lin a few times and you two really connected. You thought Lin was so strong and beautiful. You had a thing for strong women that could easily pick you up and lift you over their shoulders. It turned you on for some weird reason. Anyways Lin was coming to visit! Su was throwing a big party and invited Lin and the rest of team Avatar. You couldn’t wait to see Lin but you had to practice when Lin arrived but you would see her after.

The next day you ate breakfast then went to practice. For some reason you were struggling to keep up with everyone; it was probably because Lin was on your mind. All you could think about was seeing her. After practice Su made you stay behind. “Tell me what’s going on Y/n.” Su said as she walked over to you. You couldn’t tell her you were thinking about her sister! You shrugged. “Come on, you can tell me, you normally can keep up with everyone else. What’s going on?” Su said and ran her fingers through your hair.

“I didn’t get much sleep last night. This party is bigger than what we normally do so I’m also nervous about that.” You lied. “There’s no need to be nervous. You know you’ll do great, you're my little star.” Su said sweetly. “Thanks Su.” You said. “Of course and you know you’re supposed to get some sleep, rest is important.” Su said. You nodded. “Now come on, we're going to practice.” Su said. “Ok.” You said. Su helped you practice one on one. She stood behind you and guided your arms and hips. “There you go. Now I’m going to stop helping and you do it by yourself.” Su told you.

You nodded then did the whole dance routine by yourself. Su watched you intensely as you danced. You knew you were doing everything right. You know how to dance and follow choreography. Your mind was just clouded with Lin. Once you finished you looked at Su for approval. “That’s my girl. Very good girl.” Su praised you. You smiled real big. “Thanks Su.” You said. “You’re welcome sweetie now go shower then say hello to everyone.” Su told you. “Ok.” You said and ran off to go to your room. You took a long shower then did some makeup after your shower.

You wanted to smell good and look good for Lin. Once you were ready you went looking for Lin. “Y/n!” You heard someone shout. You knew it wasn’t Lin but it was ok. You turned and saw Mako. “Hey!” You said and walked over to him. “Good to see ya, how are you?” Mako asked. “Good to see you too and I’m good. How are you?” You asked him. “I’m good, you excited for your performance coming up in a few days?” Mako asked. “Yeah I’m really excited and I’m so happy you guys are here.” You said. “Happy to be here to support you.” Mako said. “Thanks Mako.” You said.

“Come on, let's go find Asami and Korra. You know they’ll be happy to see you.” Mako said. You nodded. Hopefully Lin is with Asami and Korra. When you found them they were with Opal talking but no sight of Lin. Where the hell was she? You gave Korra and Asami a hug and you guys talked for a while. “You look so pretty.” Asami said. “Thank you.” You said. You saw Lin walking with Kya while you were with everyone else and you wanted to run over to her but you didn’t want to be weird. Ugh! You kept glancing over at her hoping she would notice. She always told you she knew when people were staring at her.

Lin eventually looked over at you and you smiled at her. “Oh there’s chief.” Mako said. You all made your way over to them and you gave Kya a hug then looked at Lin. “It’s good to see you again Lin.” You said sweetly and batted your lashes at her. “It’s good to see you again as well, Y/N.” Lin said. “Oh the twins are having a power disk game soon, do you guys wanna come watch?” Opal asked. “I need to go get lunch I didn’t eat after practice.” You said. “I’m surprised mom didn’t yell at you.” Opal said. “She doesn’t know I haven’t eaten yet.” You said. “Makes sense.” Opal said.

“I’m not interested in going, you all have fun.” Lin said. “Oh come on aunty Lin.” Opal said. Lin shook her head. “Fine, come on guys.” Opal said and led everyone away. “Come on, let's go get you some lunch.” Lin said. You smiled. You two headed out and went to go grab lunch. “I’m glad you could make it.” You told Lin. “I wouldn’t miss you dancing for the world.” Lin said. “Really?” You asked. “Yes really. You’re a beautiful dancer.” Lin said. Your heart fluttered at her words. “I really missed you.” You said shyly. “I missed you too.” Lin said and put her hand on top of yours.

Oh now your heart was ready to leap out of your chest. After lunch you two made your way back home. “Writing letters back and forth is nice but it’s much better when we’re in person.” You said. “I agree I wish I could come visit more but you know criminals never stop.” Lin said. “Criminals suck but you do what you have to do to protect the city.” You said. “Maybe you could come visit me.” Lin said and held your hand. “You want me to come visit you?” You asked. Lin nodded. “You can stay with me when you come to visit.” Lin said. “I would like that.” You said. “Good we can plan something and I’ll show you all of Republic City as best as I can.” Lin said.

“I can’t wait to see your city.” You said. Lin smiled. After a while it was time for dinner and you sat between Lin and Su. Under the table you and Lin kept touching hands. You were trying not to smile like an idiot but it was so hard. Everyone was laughing but your main focus was Lin. All you did was listen to her talk you love when she talks. Once dinner was over you went to your room and took a shower. You cleaned your face from makeup then washed your body. After your shower you put on your pjs and laid down on your bed.

There was a knock on your door and you sat up. “Come in.” You said. Su opened the door and came in with her eyes covered. “You decent?” She teased. “Yes I’m decent.” You said and laughed. She uncovered her eyes. “Don’t seem too decent to me.” Su said and closed the door. “What do you mean?” You asked. “Those shorts seem a little short and that tank top seems really tight.” Su teased. It was true that your tank top was tight. “I can see your nipples as well.” Su said and waggled her brows. You covered your nipples and laughed. “They seem as hard as a rock, who were you thinking about?” Su teased as she sat next to you.

“No one, it's just cold. I just got out of the shower.” You said. “Mhm sure.” Su said. “I’m telling the truth.” You said. “Anyways make sure you get some rest. It's important. I need you to be my good girl tomorrow and keep up with everyone else, ok?” Su asked and ran her fingers through your hair. You leaned into her touch and smiled. “I’ll be good, I promise.” You told her. “I know you will. You’re always my good girl and you make me so happy.” Su said. “I always want to make you happy, Su.” You said. It was the truth you wanted to show her how good of a dancer you are and for her to be proud of you.

“You make me very happy.” Su said. There was a knock at the door. “Come in.” You said. Lin walked into your room and she was surprised to see Su. Your heart fluttered at seeing Lin. “Su.” Lin said. “Linny.” Su said, then removed her hand from your hair. “I have that book you wanted to borrow. I just wanted to know if you want it now or later.” Lin said. “Oh I’ll take it now please.” You said. Lin nodded. “I’ll be back.” Lin said. “Ok.” You said. Lin left your room. “Don’t stay up late reading.” Su said. You nodded then she left your room.

After a while Lin came back and you smiled. She sat on your bed. “Hi.” You said. “What was Su doing in here?” Lin asked. “Oh she just wanted to make sure I don’t stay up late because today I wasn’t keeping up with everyone because I stayed up so late. I couldn’t sleep.” You said. “Sleep is important. You need to rest.” Lin said. “I’ll sleep soon, I just want to spend time with you right now.” You said. “We’ll spend time together tomorrow I promise. After dance practice we’ll go to lunch together again.” Lin said. You pouted. “Don’t pout honey.” Lin said. “Fine, I'll see you tomorrow for lunch." You said.

Lin left your room and sighed. You got comfortable in bed and fell asleep. When you woke up you went to the bathroom. You brushed your teeth then fixed your hair. After that you went to eat breakfast with everyone else. You and Lin sat next to each other and again you two were holding hands. When it was time to go dance you didn’t want to because you wanted to spend time with Lin but you had to go dance. You did your best at practice because you wanted to show Su that you could keep up. You wanted to please her. After practice Su pulled you aside. “You did so well today. I'm proud of you.” Su said.

“Thank you Su.” You said. Su nodded then ran her fingers through your hair and you smiled. “You were a very good girl today. Keep making me proud and keep up with everyone.” Su said. You nodded. “Go shower and then eat.” She told me. You nodded and ran off to go shower. After your shower you put on makeup then got dressed. There was a knock on your door. “Come in.” You said. Lin opened your door and you smiled. “Hi.” You said. “You ready?” Lin asked. “Ready.” You said and walked over to her. “You look beautiful.” Lin said. “Thank you, you look beautiful as well.” You said. Lin nodded and you two left.

It was the day of the party and you were getting ready. You were running a little late but it was nothing serious. When you left your room you ran into Su. “There’s my pretty girl.” Su said. “I know I’m a little behind.” You said. “It’s ok honey you have plenty of time.” Su said as she walked over to you. “I know but I still shouldn’t be late.” You said. “It’s ok. Are you gonna be my good girl and do well?” Su asked you and stroked your cheek. “I’m gonna do my best.” You said. “That’s my girl.” Su said and pulled you close to her and you smiled. “Su.” You both turned and saw Lin. “What are you doing?” Lin asked.

“Mind your business Lin.” Su said. “I thought I was seeing things when you were in Y/N’s room but now I know I’m not.” Lin said. You were so confused on what Lin was talking about. “Lin, I told you to mind your business.” Su said. “Su you’re married.” Lin said. “Lin mind your business.” Su said again. “I’m sorry but I’m so confused right now.” You said. “Suyin, a married woman has been flirting with you the whole time.” Lin said. You looked at Su. “Is that true?” You asked Su. Su sighed then nodded. You had no idea what to say. “Why couldn’t you mind your business Lin?” Su asked.

“I have a performance to do.” You said and tried to walk away. “Y/n.” Su said. “Su let her go perform.” Lin said. “Lin go away. Why do you even care?” Su asked. “Because you’re married and I like her.” Lin said. Oh there goes your heart again. “Well I like her too.” Su said. “Again Su you’re married! You’re just like mom can’t hold a proper relationship.” Lin snapped. You couldn’t believe they were arguing like this in front of you. “Lin you haven’t been in a relationship since Tenzin you have no clue how to love someone.” Su snapped.

There was a metal pole that came flying and you and Su ducked. “You could have hit Y/n!” Su shouted. Lin didn’t say and just sent the same pole to hit Su. Su went stumbling back. You got up and ran over to Lin. “Stop it.” You told her. Lin pushed you up against the wall and you heard the pole clatter on the floor. “Now you could have hit Y/n.” Lin hissed. “You just always have to get in my way.” Su snapped. “Su be so serious!” Lin yelled. The two of them kept arguing and you couldn’t take it. “Hey!” You shouted. They both look at you. “Don’t I get a say in any of this?” You asked.

“Of course you do sweetie.” Su said. Lin nodded. You sighed. “Su you and I can’t be together. You’re married. I’m not going to be anyone's affair partner or side piece. I can’t do that. I deserve to be shown off and not hidden and that’s how you and I will be. You'll have to hide me and I just can’t do that and I like Lin. She gets me and I know she won’t hide me.” You said. Su just took a deep breath then nodded. “Well I hope you two are happy together. Let’s go so you can make it in time for your dance.” Su said. You nodded and you all left.

You made it to your performance and kept up with everyone and did amazing. Once your performance was over you went over to everyone and Lin immediately kissed you. You melted into her kiss. This is all you’ve ever wanted. “When did you two start dating?” Korra asked. “Today.” You said with a big smile. You went over to your fellow dancers and Su hugged all of you. Once she got to you she held you tight. “If you and Lin don’t work out you can always come to me.” Su teased. “Su.” You said. “Just teasing but I hope she makes you happy.” Su said. Lin came over and Su let you go then gently pushed you over to Lin.

Lin held out her hand and you took it. She pulled you into her and you two kissed again. After the party you and Lin went back to your room. “This has been an interesting night.” You said. “Did you really not notice Su was flirting with you?” Lin asked. “No not at all, I thought she was just being silly. I didn’t take anything she said in a flirty way like when she called me her good girl. I didn't think she meant it like that.” You said. “She called you her good girl?” Lin asked. You nodded. “And you didn’t take that as flirting at all?” Lin asked. “I thought she meant in a mentor way or something.” You said.

“Such an oblivious girl.” Lin said and shook her head. You stuck your tongue out. “Put your tongue away before I make you put it to good use.” Lin said. “Make me.” You said then stuck your tongue out again. Lin pushed you onto the bed and climbed on top of you. You quickly put your tongue back in your mouth. “Oh no no baby girl don’t think you can behave now.” Lin said.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: Shadow of Your Love/Mama Who Bore Me (19x14/15)

Lots to talk about, in these two episodes!

Cons:

So, I'm going to keep a close eye on how this story goes with Jo and Link and Luna. The thing is, so far technically speaking nothing about it makes me angry. It is totally fair and reasonable that a mother would have a hard time processing a big and scary change for her young daughter. And Grey's is usually good about this kind of thing, so... I just hope they have an actual Deaf consultant come on to coach about this story-line? I hope they go into the controversies and dangers around a CI if that becomes something Jo considers for her kid? I hope we get an awesome story of Jo and Luna and Link and Scout learning ASL so they can all communicate better. I just... don't want this to turn into an abject tragedy where Luna losing her hearing is the same as if she'd gotten cancer or something. There's a lot to celebrate from becoming Deaf, and it would be cool if the show could explore that aspect of things! We'll see how it goes. (Also, repeating my constant critique that Jo and Link bore and annoy me as a potential couple, I just really wish we'd never gone that route at all.)

Amelia and Kai... I don't know. Does this just feel a little lazy, a little proscribed, to anybody else? Amelia correctly identifies that she tends to lash out and behave poorly when she feels she's being abandoned, then she learns Kai is leaving to go to London, and she immediately starts behaving poorly. I was on Kai's side in the sense that they pointed out that Amelia hadn't even stopped to congratulate them on this big job opportunity. That's some bullshit. But also, this episode reminded us why this relationship was always going to be doomed... Amelia has a kid. Amelia is a mother. Kai wants nothing to do with that. What sort of future were they supposed to have if Amelia is literally supposed to be splitting her time between her partner and her child? It's ridiculous.

And to round out the relationship trouble segment, there's Maggie and Winston. So here's where we leave them: Maggie going to Chicago, Winston staying in Seattle. Both of them acknowledging their love for one another, but that they need to stay where they are for the benefit of their career. It's just... ugh. Last week I was rolling my eyes at the forced metaphor between Maggie and the bull-riding girl. Here we get it with a high-powered lawyer just starting off on her career, who learns that she has breast cancer. Maggie is all "you being passionate about your job is a good and beautiful thing, don't let anybody tell you different" and it's just like... yeah, okay, we get it. But the whole message here that Maggie isn't like Ellis, because on top of her ambition she also has kindness and love... it just felt very told to me, instead of shown to me. Maggie acts like leaving to go to Chicago is the only way to pursue her ambitious career, and that to do anything different would be to stifle her own sense of self. That dichotomy feels super forced to me. It's not like she couldn't find career advancement in Seattle if she wanted to.

Oh, and a couple other relationship things to throw into the mix: Teddy and Owen did a weird flirty routine this week and while it's more palatable than watching them fight, I'm still not on board with their nonsense in general. And then there's Simone, who is trying to convince herself (and Jules) that getting married is the right choice, while she and Lucas are still obviously smitten with each other. It's kind of tedious at this point, and I think part of it is that Trey, Simone's fiancé, isn't even around so we can understand how that dynamic is supposed to go.

Pros:

Bailey this week is having to deal with increasing harassment from pro-life assholes who not only keep calling her phone, but also send a picture of Tuck at his school. It's this specific threat that has Bailey changing her phone number and moving the family into a rental for a while, hoping that things will cool down. I wonder where this story is going to lead! It's super tense.

It also gives us a chance to hang out with Pru, who Bailey keeps with her at the hospital out of precaution, and then pawns off on Lucas when she has a surgery. That's one adorable kid, all the stuff with Pru really made me smile. And while Lucas and Simone's romance stuff is tedious, seeing him care for that little girl really did a lot to endear me to his character!

Simone, too, got a moment that made me emotional. When she breaks the news to a patient that she has breast cancer, the patient freaks out and says: "I don't know what to do" and Simone simply says "I do." That was really touching to me, it felt very much in line with my own personality. If something bad happened to me and a kind stranger could tell me they'd handle it... what a gift!

Yasuda and Kwan got into the beginnings of a feud when Kwan swooped in on a surgery, taking advantage of the fact that Mika overslept. I like this, because it feels like the kind of ruthless behavior we would have gotten from our original cast of intern characters. Yasuda is going to need to figure out a work/life balance that allows her to make money and also stay on her feet at work. And Kwan may realize at some point that he needs allies and he hasn't done such a good job of making them.

Schmitt had another lovely plot thread this week where he's wondering what he should specialize in, is chastised by Richard for being behind, but then ends up spending the episode connecting with a Jewish patient and helping to give him and his great-grandfather a bar mitzvah in the hospital. Richard, who was in a bad mood earlier because of Maggie leaving, encourages Schmitt to maybe consider working with kids. I loved this little moment, and seeing the double bar mitzvah really warmed my heart.

Speaking of Richard: while I am ultimately still frustrated and underwhelmed with Maggie's exit from the show, the moment at the end with Richard was really, really sweet. He gives her a mini bench that works as a business card holder, but that's also a miniature of the bench where he first found out he had a daughter. He says his life forever changed at that moment. I legitimately cried. And then Maggie gets into the elevator, and we see her two moms: biological and adoptive, both there with her, ready to see her into her future. As frustrating as the build to this moment was, I thought the actual execution moment was done so beautifully. Why is it that Maggie's exit from the show was more grand and sentimental than Meredith's? Sigh.

I think it's encouraging that most of the "pros" section is newer characters, like Schmitt and our five new interns. And now that Maggie is gone, which I am ultimately sad about, maybe Winston will have interesting story-lines too. There are still a lot of enjoyable elements to this show, and reasons to keep checking back in.

7/10

[honeybee-taskforce]

1x02 Rewatch Thoughts and Feelings

same disclaimer i’m on my phone typos and grammar errors can be invoiced to my publicist for review (its me)

-I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH what a fuckin fever dream hearing that song again

-oh wow they are grilling the hell out of him for this routine lmfao i forgot how much they tease him about all of this

-this was one of those scenes i mentioned where the emergency escalated so quick and was not what i expected it to be at all lmfao

-the aging with the bird box netflix comment zzzzzz i hate when media does this but i can overlook it here

-paul doing a thing we need another of these on season five. TWO if i may be so brave to request

-where the hell did this delivery driver even get the mercury for this now that i really think about it

-there’s some weird liberty mutual ad playing right now that has a baby talking about insurance im kind of in awe at the absurdity

-owen struggling to let go of his hair treatment goofy ass

-judd in therapy hits so hard ugh grace being there with him and he is truly trying and even has his comfort pillow for hugging because he needs something but it just isnt enough yet my heart hurts for him so much

-i forgot that grace is near sobbing when he leaves jesus christ that hurts too she loves this man so much and his pain is hers (and vice versa of course) i’m so glad that never goes away as the show goes on. Even if i could use more of it.

-michelle helping this little boy is a great foil to her introduction and i love it a lot, BUT overall i can’t find a way to care about this whole plot with Iris missing. Probably because i know it doesn’t go anywhere after this season except for the start of season 4…. I really wonder how different everything would have been had liv stayed and plot lines not adjusted accordingly. -“what the pissed off look on my fave aint enough proof” judd you teddy bear you know its not lmfao

-“he doesn’t know i’m sick” YOU NEED TO TELL HIMMMMMM

-my extended family cooks a pig just like this in a pit and everything and it tastes soooooo good

-“but just so you know i am a homosexual 😉” this whole bit is so silly and i like that they added it after a few intense back to back bits with the first emergency, michelle’s stuff, and owen’s chat with judd

-shakes ass to last night in my stillettos while these two hook up for the first and definitely not the last time

-tk give him back his damn belt you know that is not yours you rude city boy!

-carlos is all doe eye and soulmate smitten ahhhhh you cutie pie

-michelle goes to a psychic what the hell i dont remember this. BUT NOW IM REALIZING ITS THE SAME LADY WITH THE WORMS LATER ON IN THE SHOW HUHHHHH (right? Or am i losing my mind)

-spongebob movie voice: BALD BALD BALD BALD BALD

-the lady leaving herself to die in a fire because hes bald????? I know its a nightmare but wtf i forgot about all of that too 😭

-owen embracing this guy’s fantasy about the overlords but not being able to wrap his own head around his health’s reality is heartbreaking… at least he’s forced to address it once TK finds the meds

-owen and judd riding horses already getting that brotherly bond started ooooo i love them so much

-oh god first date time oh wow olay here we go CARLOS YOU'RE SO SMITTEN BUT NOWS NOT THE TIIIIME

-the boys miscommunicating for the first and certainly not the last time but its okay because it’s all a part of their story <3

-carlos calling this a hookup boy you know damn well that is not how you feel about this

-tk is so sad when he apologizes for the misunderstanding because the last thing he wants is to hurt anyone else but he can’t stop himself and it all just gets worse and worse in his eyes…. At least we know it gets better eventually. -grace helping judd count to 5 and she is so proud of him oh i love these two so goddamn much they are perfect and i need even more of them in season five

-does every episode of season 1 end with a song playing over a montage of stuff happening like did i just block that from my memory

-owen taking the first step to being more comfortable with his reality outside of the obvious therapy and treatments ugh so good.

god season one feels like a completely different show from the rest of it? Obviously the changes with casting and covid messed somethings up but i wonder how different everything would have been had the pandemic not happened and they were able to collow through on plot lines they wanted to from the beginning

[dzpenumbra]

3/4/23

Wanna hear some bullshit?

<cracks knuckles>

Where do I start...

Let me just tell a little story, an abridged one of course. I have PTSD. It's complicated, well... complex, I guess. The pandemic was not... too foreign for me. When traumas hit, I tend to... socially quarantine, as most of my traumas have been socially-based. And, as with my experience of the pandemic, I had never self-quarantined in the past because I was the dangerous one, it's because the rest of the world is. At least in my panic mind. So... again... the pandemic wasn't really foreign or entirely shocking for me, it was just another lockdown in a series of lockdowns.

However... Because of my social "support" through this experience, I ended up... being much more incapacitated than I would wager I would have been otherwise. I would put good money on it, at this point. When I am stuck in an isolation period - a recovery period, an incubation period - and I'm stuck in isolation with someone... who feeds off of me... Who... negatively feeds off of me, in order to "process" their stress with other things... who projects their fears and insecurities and problems with others onto me, because I'll stick around and talk it out, I'll forgive them, I won't fight back, I'll... take it... I'll... endure... That's when the real bad shit happens to me.

I had a year and a half free of that before I was thrust into a completely different one. The pandemic... I'd say... winter 2020/spring 2021ish on? The toxicity grew to massive levels. (okay, this isn't so much an abridged version, whatever. I'll get to the point...) SO... because of this, I was scared to leave my house at all. Scared to take my dog on hikes, even. And my dog suffered for it, which I still haven't fully forgiven myself for. And because of my intense phobias of going into the world and people hurting me somehow? I didn't drive my car. For months at a time.

There it is, that was the buildup... that's what I was leading to. My car. My 2016 station wagon. Which, now that I think about it... really wasn't that old at the time, was it? Weird... I thought it was older... Ugh, time is moving really weird lately. Anyway. My car would get frequent flat tires from just sitting in my dirt driveway, undriven. I can't count how many brake repairs I had done. And I hate it, because it's so wasteful, but in that area, public transit was just... non-existent, and I lived alone... and god knows my 3 shitty family members who lived 7 minutes away would never give me a ride anywhere if I needed it... unless they stood to gain something very valuable from it... So, long story short, the car was in rough shape come 2022.

In November '22 - it feels so weird dating it that way, it feels like just yesterday... - I brought my car in for a routine overdue inspection so I could get it tuned up and cleared for my move, which was scheduled for November 15th. When I brought it in, they had me sitting in a guest area for... well over an hour... when I had a specific timed appointment. I was inking my hoodie while listening to a short podcast series on Proto-European deities that influenced the evolution of Odin. They came out and told me that there was extensive damage to the breaks and the rear axle, and that they couldn't pass it or let me drive it off the lot. And I was supposed to be moving... that week. Alone. Using my car. And I didn't even have a ride home.

The dealership that I brought it to - my parents insisted I go there... for some reason... I really don't know why... habit, I guess - they told me that they would need to order a part and get it repaired, and couldn't give me an estimate on how long it would take. They went to offer a rental for transportation... there just happened to be one car on the lot. I claimed it. What the fuck else was I going to do?

I thought it would be just... I rent this car for like... the move... and then it turned into the first week up there... then the first month... then new years rolled along... I didn't even want this car and we offered to lease or attempt to buy the rental car outright just to make this easier for everyone, they flat-out refused to even entertained the idea. Fast forward to yesterday.

Get this. They called MY MOM and told her that they need the rental car back TOMORROW (non-negotiable) to retire it from the fleet. She is not on the rental agreement, she doesn't own the deed to my car, she has not been involved in this process at all except to try to negotiate a lease on a different car on the lot with the Sales Department, I'd been dealing exclusively with the Service Department. I have no fucking clue why they would ever feel it would be appropriate to contact my senior citizen mother about my rental contract and not... fucking ME. And I was validated on this by my therapist that this is... a bit legally questionable?... As was what happened next. They pressured my mom into giving them my phone number, which makes sense... and MY PHYSICAL ADDRESS. The shit I didn't want to talk about yesterday? It was her gaslighting me because I was absolutely godsmacked that she would freely give out my current address to people who were actively planning to repossess my car without coordinating it with me.

Good thing she gave them my number. Big difference that made. Because they never called me. And not only did they not call me... after she gave it to them yesterday afternoon to coordinate a plan with me... they also had not contacted me one fucking time in the 3+ months I was in possession of that vehicle. So... let's just give them benefit of the doubt here... This professional car dealership rented out a car to a person and DIDN'T GET THEIR PHONE NUMBER... I mean... I had given it to them tons of times, I've been getting my cars repaired there for years, well over a decade, they called me back to schedule brake work back in winter 2019, I remember it vividly. I was standing out in the snow under the porch at the house I was staying at, it was cold, I had a plastic table set up in the snow for snowskating, I was chillin next to it talking to them and smoking a cigarette. So... let's be really clear here... they lost my number. They didn't get my number when they signed a rental contract with me. They spoke with my mother several times and never once asked for my number. They pressured my mother into giving them the physical address where I live and where the rental car was stored (jokes on them, there's a fucking security gate and the keys were in my house, dumbshits). They got my number from her... and didn't immediately call me and schedule a time to pick it up. ON A WEEKDAY. On a Friday morning!

I slept 3 hours last night. Intense night terrors, of course, and an uncanny internal panic alarm clock. I woke up expecting a phone call at 8, when they opened. Nothing. I browsed Reddit and tried to wake up a bit, giving them time to call. 9 rolls along. Nothing. Not a peep. So... I'm awake enough, and pissed enough... to call them up and see what the fuck is going on. I call them, a guy answers. I ask them what's going on with my rental. He tells me a team is en route to pick it up. I... process this. They sent out 2 dudes to drive 100 miles to my apartment to pick up this car that is in a secure lot on a Friday morning, and they didn't even fucking tell me they were leaving... I ask for an ETA. He... get this... hold on to your seat... he ASKS FOR MY FUCKING NUMBER. He goes "I'll pass this along to the guy who's coming, he can let you know how far out he is."

An hour goes by. An hour and a half goes by. I get a phone call. The fucker is outside my building. I shit you not. If I hadn't woken from night terrors after 3 hours of sleep, I would've been woken up after 5-6 hours of sleep by a complete stranger who is lurking outside my apartment building unannounced to repossess my rental car.

So... I'm gonna have to give these guys 4 stars. Sorry guys, i just... I think you can do a bit better. I'm genuinely curious if pursuing legal action here is going to be worthwhile, this whole situation is just so fucked. Like... just bad business all around, completely inconsiderate, rude, exploitative, invasive, and... frankly... possibly illegal. Like... you can try to play the whole "small-town" card with the "yeah, we figured it would be okay if we just went to your mom and sweated out your address and showed up unannounced... for no fucking reason, rather than just getting your number... then calling you... and getting your address and setting up a time." Like there is absolutely no goddamn reason why they would ever have to do that. Or why it would ever be appropriate. Like... even with a teenager or a college student or something. I'm in my mid fucking 30's. Nothing with her name on it is even involved. It's really fucking odd, and creepy. It makes me super uncomfortable. And it's one of those things that like... when it's happening... you just think the whole time like... "is this one of those things I'm supposed to go to the police about?" I hate that feeling, it makes me feel like... like a child. Like an innocent toddler that wandered into a mafia headquarters or a trap house or something.

So... that's how my day started...

Oh, for the record... The dude who is making hand-made prayer beads, hand-sanded stones and fine art pieces about grief and the process of transforming brushes with death into... love and beauty. Through endurance, patience, effort, focus. That dude. Is providing less value to society. Than those fucking scumbags.

Fuck them. Hell's got a nice warm seat for them.

On a lighter note... I got all the mod podge done for my mala today. I worked all day long. I don't remember if I did 2 or 3 coats, I think I might've done 2, it was enough really. The sanding is going pretty well, which I'm glad about. There were a few times I went too deep with it, but it's not too noticeable and I'm cool with leaving them like that, it adds a bit more character, some imperfections. 30 beads total, 10 are sanded, buffed and strung on waxed black hemp already. It's coming along quick. And it looks really cool, I'm really happy with it.

And... I got my board. I got my electric board. It's sitting over by my whiteboard. It's a lot heavier than I expected, I have no idea if ollieing it is even on the table. But I'm really excited to practice riding it. See... I say that... but I'm super nervous. There it is. I want to be honest. I am excited, but I'm way more nervous.

I keep getting this image in my head of like... okay, it's not a clear image at all. Just something bad happening. Someone stealing my board. Maybe hitting a rock and falling? I guess it's just someone stealing it, honestly. Like... I want to envision going for a ride and just... practicing riding, getting used to how the board feels under my feet. And I don't know the neighborhood at all, and then I end up in a bad neighborhood, and someone takes my board so they can sell it for money, because we're all hurting for money nowadays. I guess that's the dark fantasy. I think about riding it to the pharmacy. It's... not the greatest neighborhood. The grocery store is way further up the same road. That's just my... not feeling safe reflexes. I guess.

Weird how I lived in Arapahoe, Colorado, in a shitty rundown apartment complex, and went skateboarding to the bus stop right next to a Walmart that got shot up in the time that I lived there, rode the public bus downtown, then skated around town. By myself. At age 19. But I can't go zip around on the sidewalks at 5 mph in a super tame neighborhood to learn how to ride my electric skateboard at 36. Like... I really need to go and just... look at the young women walking their dogs up the road at dusk. Think about how they feel. They probably feel more confident and safe than I do! Well, they aren't having a massive long-term PTSD episode...

Tell ya what. Here's a good practice. I could set up the car share thing, figure out what I need to do for that. Then take a practice ride over to the nearest car. I think it's a truck. Even if I'm not going to use it, just... to get used to the ride. And get used to the board. And get some fresh air.

And as I say this, I hear... what sounds like rain or ice pellets spraying against the windows. There's supposed to be a winter storm, apparently. And I don't have a ton of food. That was another freak out moment today, like... if the dealership gave me heads up... I could've gone and done a quick grocery run and stocked up. Now... I'm just raw-doggin it.

So... I might have some time to just process a good place to go ride, because it might be too nasty out to ride anyway. Lemme check the weather. Wow, 7-14 inches. Looks like I'm not getting grocery or food deliveries... BUT. Snowskating is back on the menu, boys! Maybe it's a... skate the park, then order takeout and pick it up on my way home kinda weekend.

Oh, and something weird happened today. Since I'm here... might as well share this thought. I've been watching these youtube mini-lectures by this guy named Dr. Justin Sledge, he has a channel called ESOTERICA that's all about... occult stuff, esoteric spiritual documents and practices. The obscure, the weird, the stuff people don't really know much about or speak much about, the kinda stuff you have to dig for. You know, the stuff that intrigues me. And this one that popped up today, that I didn't even get to finish... was about the Satanic Panic in the 80s. I've talked about my whole tattoo story with my crow tattoos, and a lot of... the core elements of my soul... my spirit... have had this instinct that... kinda screams out in warning of that kind of mentality. Inwardly, so far. I have never really been brave or... articulate enough... to find a place for it in my art or music. It, in this case, being... that word that I struggle to find. False justice? Punishment? Persecution? Mass hysteria? Witch-hunting? Something that is underlying in all of them? There is a common thread in all of them, and it's been a thing since the beginning of time, I'd wager. And it's horrible. It's one of the worst things about humanity, bar none. It's haunting. And the Satanic Panic was all this.

And the connection I wanted to share was... in the video, he brought up the West Memphis 3. Which is... a really devastating and depressing case. And one I knew very little about, like... nothing, really. And I only knew the name because... get this... The chick who messaged me on Hinge a week after my dog died. The one who wanted to "help me with my art" and give me 2 giant buckets full of goat bones? Totally not just to get them off her property for god knows what reason... That chick told me that I reminded her of Damien Echols. I had no idea who he was. I googled and immediately just read the first bit about... what he was convicted of... and it just... I did what probably any other person would have done in a 5 second snap judgement. I got a really creepy vibe and denied it outright.

But it really started coming back in to my life today. Why did she say that? What about me reminded her of him? How am I... alike... to a man who served 18 years in solitary confinement for a crime he didn't commit? What was she seeing? Was it just the interest in weird occult things? Diverse spiritual beliefs and practices, obscure symbology, an artist's/writer's eye? Was it this common thread of... being the victim of wrongful persecution? I will never know for sure what it was that she saw, but I know she sounded very convinced that it was uncanny. And people extremely rarely tell me that I remind them of someone, so this definitely caught my attention. And I'd like to shelve my judgement and explore that at some point, because it might unlock... one of my biggest and longest building personal projects to date.

But I have too much on my plate at the moment so I'm gonna put a pin in that... XD I just thought the synchronicity was interesting, and appropriate timing, as well. I have a mental map of different concepts to engage with, the Muse has shown me a very important one, and I've scrawled some notes to myself on what that is and where to find it again for when I inevitably return.

For now... I am working on incorporating meditation comfortably into my daily practices. Once my mala is done. It's 1/3 done, so it should be done tomorrow pretty easily. Then I need to finish the last stone in the set. That's just waiting for my shoulder muscles to chill a bit, this stone grinding can do a number on your arms. Then it's the goat skull. Finally. Which is most likely going on top of my bookshelf (it's so nice to say that word, after 3 months...). And streaming, whenever I feel like peppering that in. And my hoodie... I'd like to at least finish the sleeve one of these days... I keep putting it off.

After all that? I'm wide open for a new avenue of exploration.

Thanks for sticking along for the ride if you did. It's been a fucked up day. But some good came from it. And as much as I'm kinda stranded alone in a snowstorm... it's not as bad as I was worried. And I have a really cool therapist dude who's really down to earth and nerdy and speaks my language, and I'm pretty confident he's going to be able to help me work through these... blind fear anxiety attacks. And maybe, just maybe, get back to something close to the days when I could just walk to Walgreens at 2AM to get a few emergency groceries without standing by the door pacing back and forth convinced that someone is going to rob or kill me if I go out. I think it's possible. And I'm going to put in the work I need to in order to get there.

But for now. I'm going to fucking bed.

[tenthcrowley]

hello! I'm soup and this is my first writing in Tumblr! hope you enjoy it <3 and sorry if there's any grammar mistakes.

trans!male reader x thomas shelby

2054 words.

Summary: Y/N decides to finally tell his boyfriend Thomas Shelby that he doesn't perceives himself as a woman but as a man.

tw: mention of death, a lot of misgendering (feminine pronouns and using of dead name), self hate, mention of violence, mention of body intimate parts.

This Is Me

⠀

Y/N was walking on the streets of Birmingham. It wasn't night yet but the sunset already began. He was wearing a dress. A beautiful red dress and his sleeves were kinda puffy. He was wearing white heels and a small not-for-rain umbrella was resting on his shoulder, even tho it was sunset, but he didn't want to close the umbrella, it might sound weird but keeping it like that made him feel safe? he wasn't sure how he felt and why he kept the umbrella open, he only knew it was better this way.

His eyes were tearing. He was tired of everything. Living, fighting, being humiliated, having to hide his real 'self'. He missed his old life, when he didn't know who he truly was, when he was happy being little and innocent girl. Ugh, even the word makes him sick. He missed the old days were he had nothing to worry about. But of course, now that he thinks about it, it was never fine. At the time he didn't realized but now, everytime he thinks about his childhood he notices that there was always something wrong about him. He liked to use pants, having short hair, wearing his dad's suits instead of his mum's heels, playing with boys instead of girls. Yeah, he notice it now.

At the age of sixteen he realized he was born in the wrong body. And he blamed mother nature for that. In secret, he used to dress as his dad, smoke and even sat down with open legs. It felt right. He realized after years of struggling of why he couldn't like girl stuff.

Eventually, his family find out. They discovered him in his room with one of his dad's suit on, pretending to smoke and sitting down on his bed with open legs. They kicked him out and swore to not say a word to anyone to keep their reputation safe. At least, Y/N was relief. He hadn't to keep living there and no one else could know about his secret.

That's until he met Thomas Shelby, of course.

Even tho he considers himself a man, he doesn't like women. It was always men. So yeah, when he first saw that Peaky Blinder he fell for his eyes, then for his face. Until he had to work for him. They hired him as a secretary. He wished he was more, but they only saw him as a woman. A simple woman who can't grab a gun or else will be a butch or a mobster. Nothing good.

He knew Thomas had an eye on him but he tried to not give himself any illusion. Thomas will never understand him, he will never accept him if he knows the truth about him, he will never like him for Y/N. Thomas Shelby had an eye on D/N. Not on him.

Y/N keeps struggling. He rushed to his home, rips the fucking costume he've been wearing the whole day (dress and heels). He looked at himself on the mirror and cries. Cries because he has breasts he can't hide even if he tries his best. Because he has a feminine figure, a small waist and feminine legs, skinny hands, because his neck isn't thick enough, because he doesn't have an Adam's apple. Because he has a vagina instead of a cock. He cries everynight I front of the mirror. Eventually he fell asleep. That's his everyday routine.

Now it's been two years since he knows Thomas Shelby and three and a half months they're an official couple. Yes, they're boyfriend and, well, girlfriend. Yes, they have kissed, they had dates, Y/N keeps working for him at the office and yes, they had sex. Very often actually.

Y/N didn't had the needed to tell Thomas about his secret. He hate being misgendered but now they're a couple for almost four months already. Y/N needed to tell Tommy about it, he couldn't keep living like this. If Thomas was mad about it he'll understand. Y/N will disappear of his life and Birmingham. He doesn't know what he'd do but definitely avoid Peaky Blinder Family. Maybe they even gonna kick the shit out of him. Maybe kill him. He wouldn't mind, at least they would end suffering.

Y/N was now in front of Tommy's door. He wasn't ready, he'd never ready, but it's now or never.

Knock Knock.

He waited impatiently. He was sweating and playing with his finger anxiously. He heard footsteps at the other side of the door so he regained his posture.

Ada opened the door. Y/N smiled at her. He really liked her.

"D/N! what a surprise. Uh, we're on a family meeting"

His eyes widened and he took that as a sign from the Universe. Maybe it's not time for telling the truth. Maybe not yet.

"Oh! Okay, thank you for telling me. I'll be on my way home. Sorry for bothering. Say hi from me" He smiled and took a few steps back, ready to get the hell out of there.

When Ada was about to close the door again, both heard some fast footsteps coming towards them. It was Tommy. Y/N paralyzed. His hands were sweating even more if that's posible, his whole body started to shake but he still tried to give his best smile.

"D/N. We're on a family meeting"

Stop calling me like that.

"Yeah, Ada told me. I'll come back tomorrow, don't worry." Y/N said to him with a little -but clearly uncomfortable smile.

He noticed it. He demanded Ada to go back to the meeting room and he stayed on the door frame looking at Y/N.

"It's nighttime. It's dangerous."

"I needed to talk to you. If isn't now I don't know when could be"

Tommy was staying serious but he, he was fucking shaking and it was so obvious.

"Tomorrow"

"I don't know if I can"

Now he was worried and interested. Thomas really cared about Y/N, even if he didn't shows it very often. For Shelby is really hard to demonstrate emotions, that's why he's always serious. His emotions were buried inside him very very inside.

"What do you mean?"

Y/N sighed and with all his strength he tried not to tear. He tried to stay calm but he was only freaking out Thomas even more. The man looked around.

"Come on inside. We'll go to my room and talk this okay?"

Y/N nooded.

He walked you upstairs and to his room. The doors of the meeting room were closed so nobody saw them go pass. It's doesn't matter anyways. Y/N finally decided to close the umbrella, now that he's besides Tommy he doesn't needs it anymore. Thomas took his coat and hung it on the coat rack. Soon they were facing and looking at each others eyes. Thomas placed his hands in his waist.

"What do you want to talk about?" And the Shelby started to give kisses in his cheeks and soon he was in his neck.

Y/N took a deep breath and gently pulled Thomas away from his neck. The man looked confused at his eyes and finally broke the touch between each other. Tommy sat on the bed looking at his lover. He pulled out a cigarette, turned it on and started smoking, without looking away from Y/N.

"I... I need to tell you something. Something you don't know and it could change everything between us." Soon, he started tearing up in silence. His make up was messing up.

Thomas was concerned. He was waiting for another betrayal. His heart was already breaking and now he was just waiting for the exact momento to kick the lady out of his house.

"Sorry" Y/N's nose started bleeding. It was common for him to happen that, it happens when he's nervous or simply have to much pressure on him.

Thomas wasn't helping this time, so he just put his sleeve on his nose and tried to calm down. Y/N grabbed the chair from Tommy's desk and sat down without facing Tommy's face. Y/N was giving Tommy his back or else he wouldn't be able to do this, he's not that brave.

"I haven't been feeling well. It's not very recent. I feel like this since I was sixteen. Well since I was born but I realized at that age" With just that, Tommy felt how all of his muscles relax. Y/N wasn't going to betray him. Now he's listening carefully and very concerned, something is happening to his lover. Maybe he's ill and he will die soon. ". I'm not me. You may find this weird, believe me so do I, but it's just how I feel. It's how I am. As you seeing me like this? It's not me. I may be born with breasts and called... well, you know what my 'name' is. I don't like saying it out loud. God, not even thinking it."

Tommy was behind him, giving him massages with the intention of relaxing him. He was trying to understand, but it was difficult, he didn't know what his lover was referring to. So he just shut up and listed. Turns out that the massages worked, Y/N was more relaxed now.

"This could change everything between us. It's okay if you don't wanna see my again, or if you want to punch me"

"Wait, wait, stop there. Why would I ever punch a woman? My lover?" The massages stopped and Tommy felt incredibly offended.

Y/N stood up and finally faced Thomas.

"DON'T CALL ME LIKE THAT"

Silence. He was looking at Y/N weird.

"I don't feel like a woman, Tom. I hate being a woman. I hate having breasts, they make me cry, they make me hate myself. I hate my long hair, I hate my waist I have everything of me. I hate using these silly little dress and the fucking corsets! it's awful, Tom." The young man wasn't looking at his lover anymore. He was looking to the floor, ready for any punch or insults or something. He needed something. "Sometimes I use suits. I like it, it makes me feel more like myself, I feel good wearing them." And he was tearing up again. He couldn't help it. He was afraid, so afraid of what would happen now.

Silence.

Thomas was in shock. His girlfriend- more like boyfriend now, didn't feel good about themselves. Didn't like wearing dresses, didn't like being feminine at all. Y/N didn't feels like a woman, Y/N feels like a man.

"You may think I'm sick"

"No, I don't"

Y/N looks up to him again. Is this real? He asked for himself. Tommy was looking at him in a concerned way. Maybe he felt bad for him? Was he good with it?

"It's weird, yes, I think it's fucking odd, yes. But you're my girlfriend-"

"Boyfriend?"

For the first time today, Y/N saw Thomas Shelby smile and giggle. That made him smile as well.

"Yes, boyfriend. Wow, I never thought I would say that" They laugh and stay in silence, looking at each others eyes like they could figure out what the other one was thinking.

"You okay with this?"

"Yes, I'm okay with this. You said your name wasn't yours. That means I should call you...?"

Y/N smiled. like a lot. He giggled with happiness and hugged the man in front of him.

"I'm Y/N"

"Hello, my beloved Y/N"

"Oh shut up"

After that Thomas helped his boyfriend to calm down and explain everything to him. The way he realized, his story and all that shit. He also told Tommy how he felt when someone called him by his dead name, or by feminine pronouns, when he wears dresses, when he wears make up. He ended up tearing a bit. Thomas couldn't help seeing his lover cry that way. He borrowed Y/N a suit. They looked at the mirror and see a beautiful couple of men.

"Here" Thomas grabbed his peaky hat and put it on his boyfriend's head which in response he smiled happily.

"I love it!"

Yeah, no, nobody could know yet.

[kuroosweakness]

things the haikyuu boys did when they had a crush on you 

miya atsumu 

started wearing whatever you really liked wearing/complimented him on. if you mentioned the print on his shirt, you best bet he’ll be wearing that shirt for a whole week straight. a shirt he once thought nothing of is now his favorite shirt. 

“‘tsumu, why don’t you try changing. you know, y/n could probably smell you a mile away,” osamu said to atsumu one morning as they were walking to school. 

“nuh uh,” atsumu quipped back. “i washed it with the detergent y/n likes.” 

“oh so you finally learned how the washing machine works?” 

“‘samu you’re ruining it for me.” 

asked overly-personal questions. not to be creepy or weird, but because he cherished the information he knew about you that no one else did; it made him feel special 

“y/n, do you have any big regrets?” 

“is there um, anyone you feel really happy around?” 

“what’s your guilty pleasure? c’mon everyone has them.” 

“have you ever been bullied?” 

got visibly irritated whenever another guy interrupted your conversation with him. or if you were just smiling too hard when talking to a guy he doesn’t know about

“if you keep frowning like that, you’ll look like a grandpa by next year,” osamu said right before biting into his onigiri. 

“shut up, ‘samu,” he groaned, trying his best to distract himself from the fact that you looked happier talking to another guy than him. did you smile that hard when he made a joke? he sure hopes so :’ 

kuroo tetsurou 

pointed out the smallest differences in you. he noticed the slightest changes in your body language, style, mood, etc etc. on your bad days, he desperately wanted to ask if anything was wrong, but didn’t want to risk overstepping boundaries. so he just asked “how’s your day?” and even if you answered with a “good/fine/okay” he would know you weren’t telling the full truth 

if you came to school wearing a brand new pair of shoes, he’ll point it out and tease you all about it. if you showed up with a new hairstyle, kuroo won’t say anything, but you can tell he noticed because of the way he looks at it. 

even if you cut off three centimeters of your hair, he probably noticed. 

kept trying to fix his appearance around you 

he tried making it really subtle too. he’ll smooth down his jacket, try to flatten down his hair, and straighten his collar around you in hopes that it’ll make him look a bit better (he’s such a cutie 🥺 okay who’s gonna tell him that he’s looks perfectly fine the way he is) 

teased you, in a flattering way. the type of teasing where you have to force yourself from smiling too hard. and he only does it to you! no one else is worth his teasing 

but the moment someone else starts teasing you, he’d act a little ... distant. he’d back off and just watch you interact with them. if you look uncomfortable, he’d immediately put a stop to it and put them back in their place. 

called you by a nickname only he uses

at first, he used it as a joke. but overtime, it just stuck and now it doesn’t feel right for him to call you by your first name. again, the annoyance is clear on his face when someone called you by the same nickname 

~~~

when you first met kenma, he said, “y/n? i’ve heard a lot *glances at kuroo* about you.” 

suna rintarou 

lowkey protects you. such as putting an arm in front of you, shielding you with his body, draping his jacket over your head, lending you his umbrella, that type of stuff (ugh just kiss already) 

he acted like it was no big deal. it’s not like he’d admit it was on his mind for a whole week. the miya twins knew something was up when suna suggested watching a romance movie. (suna needed new scenarios with you in his head) 

subtly invited you everywhere, made excuses to be around you 

“hey, we have a game on saturday at *specific location* in case you wanna come” 

“since they’re having a buy-one-get-one-free, it’ll be a shame if you didn’t come along ...” 

“since we’re both headed towards that place, might as well go together” 

unexpectedly defended you/your opinion in conversations and class. even though suna rarely talks in class, if you brought up a point/answer, he’d defend it

sakusa kiyoomi 

had trouble meeting your eyes without blushing 

even with his mask on, you could see the redness spread across his cheekbones whenever you spoke to him. 

always plopped himself in a seat close to you, even with all those other empty seats 

his became more soft, gentle, and high-pitched around you, his posture became less stiff 

it’s subtle; he didn’t even notice a change in his own voice. maybe because there’s nothing else on his mind when he’s talking to you? 

always walked a little bit slower in the hallways when he saw you pass by and eyed you, hoping that you’d notice him like the way he noticed you

bokuto koutarou 

stumbled with his words and forgot basic things around you

“class? what do you mean by ‘we have to go to class’??” 

listened intently to everything you said and memorized facts about you better than his vocabulary words 

“akaashi, did you know that y/n’s favorite ice cream flavor is ...” 

“nope, y/n can’t make it today. how do i know? because they told me in advance :D oh wait, y/n’s not gonna be here today?? D’:”

made a handshake with you to do in front of everyone to show off that your connection with him is special

the pride he felt when everyone gathered around to watch you and him do your special handshake 🥺

got you gifts out of nowhere simply because you said you liked it

his mindset goes: getting y/n ___ = y/n happy :) i better get it for them before someone does 

tendou satori 

always lends you his stationary and whenever he forgets a pencil, you’re the first person he asks. don’t worry, he always returns them right after :) 

he also loves “borrowing” your personal things. the idea of you trusting him is really special to him. plus, whenever someone asks him where he got it, he gets to say, “oh, it’s y/n’s.” 

loves, loves, loves passing notes in class!! 

he kept all of your conversations with him in a special little box hidden in his room. 

complimented the little things he knows you care about! 

he loves seeing that beautiful smile of yours while knowing he’s the cause of it.

he smiles so much around you <33  tendou’s smile is so contagious it’s hard to be sad around him. not to mention he always knows how to cheer you up :’ 

iwaizumi hajime 

whenever his friends talked about hot actors and classmates they found attractive, he never joined in. (if you were there, he’d be glancing at you ever-so-often) 

he’d always offer to walk/drive you home. every single day. even if you insisted that he didn’t need to, it would take another five minutes of convincing him. if you said yes, he happily got you home. no matter what occasion, he always asked you. it was your regular, daily routine with him :) 

made jokes only for you to hear. he loved having inside jokes with you that only you two understood. the confusion on other peoples’ faces was satisfying. 

akaashi keiji 

had a lot of sympathy for you over small things (and big things too, of course) 

if your weekend plans got messed up, if you lost your jacket, forgot your stationary, tripped on the stairs, he’s the person you go to to talk about these things. he never belittles your struggles and always finds a way to help you feel better 

always checked in with you and made sure you had a lunch to eat 

even if your classroom is across the campus, you better expect him to be at the front door after your class is over

tried his best to get to know your friends and family (and pets!) 

akaashi best boy 🥺 the way he sees your friends and family as his own because he knows how much they matter to you 

-> a/n: i hope you like these hehe :))

[sleepysnk]

I'M LOWKEY IN THE MOOD FOR SOME FLUFF SO I DECIDED TO MAKE THESE HEADCANONS. i hope you guys enjoy! <3

Pregnancy Headcanons

Characters: Reiner, Porco, Colt, and Zeke

Warnings: Mentions of NSFW, pregnancy, birth

Reiner Braun:

- ohh boy, now let me just say this man has a breeding kink so you've definitely have had some pregnancy scares before. it was kind of common 😳.

- now when you started feeling sick one day, you instantly were concerned. Reiner noticed the change in your behavior as well. You seemed more tired, you barely slept, and worst of all you threw up a ton. it was a lot more than usual as well.

- Reiner didn't know what was wrong, he was scared to lose you.

- that's when it dawned on him that you two had sex weeks prior, without a condom. he was freaked out because he wasn't sure if you had forgotten. he decided to go to you about it and he explained that you should take a pregnancy test.

- you thought the idea of you being pregnant was ridiculous, but you gave in and took the test.

- when it came back positive, your whole world just stopped. you were pregnant with Reiner's baby.

- when you told him he was absolutely ecstatic. Reiner was excited to start this new chapter with you and assured you that everything was going to be okay, and he'd be by your side through everything. he was very helpful in getting what you needed.

- you found out you were about 6 weeks along at the doctor's office, and you two couldn't be happier.

- Reiner is very protective of you already. with you being pregnant, he is now 100x more protective than before. HE HAS HIS EYES ON YOU 24/7. whenever you go out, he goes with you. he was always around in case of an emergency.

- lowkey into pregnancy sex

- the symptoms were the worst, Reiner would wake up some nights to you going back and forth to the bathroom or throwing up at certain smells of foods. he was there for all of your mood swings and odd cravings 😭, he would always laugh whenever you would run to the bathroom having to pee.

- Reiner absolutely falls in love with your pregnant belly, there's just something he loves about your belly being so big. he always has his hands on your bump <3.

- both of you would argue over gender, Reiner wanted a girl and you wanted a boy. eventually you found out you were having a girl, and Reiner felt like a total bad bitch 😭.

- Reiner would have Bertholdt come check in on you often if he's at work, or he'll send you a text asking how you're feeling. he understands how some days you can have terrible morning sickness and that you need some love.

- he'll massage any part of your body that's sore.

- Karina was excited to be a grandma, she would often invite you over to ask how you were feeling. she was a huge help for you and Reiner during the whole process, she practically acted like you were her daughter.

- Reiner would so make a nursery by himself 🥺, he'd do it all within like two days and you'd be so impressed by it all. he wants everything to be ready before your little one comes home.

- when your water broke, Reiner was absolutely a total mess. Bertholdt and Annie had to calm him down, he was so scared.

- it was hard for Reiner to watch you cry in pain, he was a total mess at the doctor's office he had to walk out of the delivery room. eventually, he came back and watching you give birth was one of the most beautiful things he got to watch.

- HE WAS SO EMOTIONAL WHEN HE HELD HER 🥺🥺🥺. HOLY SHIT THIS MAN WAS A SOBBING MESS.

- god pls give this man a baby, he is such an amazing father.

Porco Galliard:

- Porco is always one to notice odd behavior or changes in your usual routine. he's very observant and blunt, so expect him to question you a ton whenever something seems out of the ordinary for you.

- when you started feeling sick, Porco found it odd. he hadn't seen you this sick in a really long time and it kind of concerned him being honest, he was scared that you were seriously ill. he would hold your hair back everytime you threw up your food. it really worried him.

- Porco overthinks A TON, he thought you were dying or something.

- that's when Porco decided to take you to the doctor. the last straw hit when you practically almost passed out when you were working out, he basically forced your ass into going to the doctor.

- you explained your symptoms to the doctor and after a few tests, you found out you were pregnant.

- hearing those words made Porco genuinely shocked, but he was so excited and happy. he told you he'd support whatever you wanted to do and after some talking, you both decided to keep it. he assured you he wasn't going anywhere and he was going to take care of you and your baby.

- Porco definitely goes overboard with it all 😭, mans would barely let anyone even breath next to you. he is so defensive over you and the baby, he's just protective like that. he sleeps with one eye open practically.

- dealing with the symptoms were a lot to handle at first. Porco wasn't sure what would trigger you to vomit or what would piss you off. you told him not to worry about anything and that you'd be okay, of course he's a stubborn little shit and just pouts but you find it to be adorable. he laughs when you have to pee 500 times a night.

- he loves the bump, he always pokes it for some reason and laughs.

- Porco wants a girl so bad. he literally tells you how much he wants a daughter and that's what he ended up getting. he found out you were having a girl and he was absolutely ecstatic, he was so ready to meet her.

- Marcel would probably come around if Porco was out working or he wasn't able to be at home. sometimes he'd send Pieck to check up on you if you weren't responding to him quick enough. this baby is so concerned over every little thing 😭.

- Porco would carry you around everywhere if your feet were sore. he knows how sore your body is so he'll carry you around the house.

- his family was very excited for the two of you, his mom was so happy to finally have a baby coming in the family. she gave you tons of advice and she gifted you with a ton of items for the baby.

- Porco asked Marcel to help him with the nursery, he didn't have any clue where to start and your due date was approaching faster than he could even blink. it took awhile, but they ended up making a really cute and pretty nursery. Porco felt like a proud dad in that moment.

- when your water broke, hell on Earth happened.

- Porco wasn't even there when it happened, you were with Pieck and it broke. when he got the call he went absolute ape shit and ran out the door, he literally zoomed to the damn hospital.

- he became so worried about you 🥺, seeing how uncomfortable you were and how much pain you were in made him so scared. he stayed by your side as long as he could so he could somewhat make it a little less painful.

- it was really late when you finally gave birth and Porco was awake for all of it. he couldn't fall asleep without seeing you give birth. it was so beautiful to him.

- UGH HE WAS SO EMOTIONAL. you hadn't ever seen Porco cry until then and it made your heart so happy.

- he'd literally fall asleep with her in his arms <3.

- UGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

Colt Grice:

- okay this soft baby is always one to know when something feels off with you. he always has that gut feelings you know? it always bothers him until he asks you what's going on.

- you started feeling really sick and Colt being the giant baby he is, he got really scared and worried about you. he watched as you would run off to the toilet and vomit whatever you ate, he thought you had food poisoning. he noticed how exhausted you were, mans was so scared for your safety.

- like Porco, Colt is an over thinker. he legit thought you had some disease.

- one night he decided to just scoop you up and take you to the doctor. he couldn't handle watching you randomly vomit or almost pass out, he was scared one day you'd get even sicker, so he took you in.

- the doctors were concerned after hearing your symptoms, so they ran some tests. the tests revealed you were pregnant.

- Colt was shocked as shit, but he was so fucking excited and happy. he literally almost fainted from hearing the news, he wanted to have a baby with you for a pretty long time. he was open to your options though, but in the end you both agreed to keeping it.

- Colt is very reassuring, especially in this scenario. he reminds you that he will be here every step of the way and he isn't going anywhere. this is a process you'll be taking together, not just you.

- this baby will do anything he needs to do to keep you both safe. he holds your hand a little tighter when you're out and about, or he'll keep his hand on your small bump. he became protective overnight.

- he actually manages your symptoms pretty well, he'll make sure he has water ready for you after you throw up or he'll make you something to eat that'll ease your stomach. he keeps up with the weird cravings or the mood swings. Colt does a lot to make sure you're okay and comfortable.

- he is obsessed with the bump, he loves pressing kisses against it 🥺❤.

- Colt wants a boy so bad, he wants to teach the little boy everything. HE JUST LOVES THE IDEA OF A SON. after heading to your ultra sound, you told him he was getting a son and he lost it. he was so excited.

- he would probably have Falco come over and watch you 😭, yes a 12 year old. Falco keeps you entertained and he asks you about the baby a lot plus he knows what to do in case of an emergency.

- Colt would be very comforting, he understands completely how some days you can feel irritable so he tries his best to make you feel better. he'll run relaxing baths for you, kiss wherever you feel sore, etc. mans is really built to take care of you while you're pregnant.

- his family was absolutely ecstatic when they found out. Colt actually had some background knowledge about babies, his mom was pregnant with Falco after all. he kind of picked up on a few things as a kid, so expect him to know what he's doing. his mom was very supportive and helpful too.

- Colt is a damn handy man, he knows how to build a nursery. he basically told you to not worry about a damn thing and to go relax. when you came back the nursery was so pretty and adorable, you fell in love with it.

- when your water broke this man freaked the fuck out, he was in panic mode.

- Colt was freaking out at the hospital, he literally couldn't keep calm. he paced around the waiting room, Falco had to literally force this man to sit down and relax.

- seeing how much pain you were in broke his damn heart, he tried his best to calm you down and male you feel at least somewhat comfortable. he assured you this would be over soon and it'll all be worth it to see your baby.

- when you finally gave birth, he was astonished. he thought birth was such a beautiful thing and watching it made him so happy.

- he was such a sucker for this little boy, when he held him for the first time he was so overcome with emotion. he fell in love on the spot and literally kept him all to himself 😭.

- he is the perfect dad ugh.

Zeke Jaeger:

- Zeke has a serious breeding kink so you've definitely have had some pregnancy scares in the past. nothing he isn't used to, the tests usually came back negative anyway.

- you became really sick over a course of two weeks and it was extremely out of the ordinary for Zeke. he noticed how you slept in a lot longer, your eating habits changed due to your vomiting, you had to pee a lot more than usual. the #1 thing he noticed was your period had oddly been late. he thought you were you were seriously sick.

- mans was scared okay?

- that's when it dawned on him that all your symptoms were involved with pregnancy. he realized the timeline when you both had sex and when you got pregnant lined up perfectly. Zeke decided to get you a pregnancy test, he told you he felt like it was the best option.

- you took the test nervously and it eventually came back positive.

- you told Zeke and he was shocked, he was so excited for this new chapter. he was literally on board for anything you wanted to do.

- Zeke would come to every ultrasound, he assured you that he was going to be by your side for everything. he got you anything you needed, mans would rush out the damn door to get you anything you asked for.

- he takes care of you pretty much whenever he can, if you were feeling sick he'd stay in bed with you until you were feeling ready to get up. he'll cuddle up with you all day if he has to. mans is also very protective and defensive over you, if anyone is giving you some weird side eye he'll literally protect you with his damn life lmao.

- Zeke manages with your symptoms pretty well, he hates watching you throw up. he knows how uncomfortable it can be for you and he always holds your hair back, or he'll have something prepared for you to ease your stomach. he hates the mood swings the most 😭, he also hates when you get up 500 times to piss. he makes fun of you all the time.

- don't even get me started on the bump, he loves it. sometimes he'll poke it randomly and start laughing.

- Zeke wants a girl so bad. he literally loves the idea of having a daughter, but he didn't get it. you told him after your recent ultrasound you were having a boy. he was a little disappointed, but he was still happy. he gets to teach the little man how to play baseball <3.

- Pieck comes over when Zeke isn't around to check in. he is always really worried about you, so whenever he gets that gut feeling he'll send Pieck right over to make sure you're fine and that she can tell Zeke everything is cool.

- like i said earlier, he's very comforting. he knows how to take care of you especially on your bad days.

- his family is really happy for you both, his mom helped you a ton with the whole process. Zeke is a bit older so he kind of knew a bit about babies since Eren is his step-brother. he picked up on some shit when Carla was pregnant, even then his family gave you tons of advice.

- Zeke had no clue how to make a nursery, he had to call up his god damn dad for help 😭. Grisha was absolutely in for it, and he did exactly that. the two spent hours building the nursery and it came out really well.

- into pregnancy sex.

- when your water broke, holy shit it was like hell on Earth. Zeke didn't even know it popped since you were out and about when it happened.

- he actually was pretty calm, he wasn't freaking out or running around like a mad man. he was very chill and relaxed waiting for the doctors to come and let him in the delivery room.

- seeing you screaming in pain was hard for him to hear, you were struggling and there wasn't much he could do. of course he'd hold your hand and remind you that you're going to be okay, even if you screamed at him telling him to shut the hell up 😭. Zeke was like 😀.

- when you gave birth, oh wow he was so shocked seeing how a vagina can push out a baby.

- when he held his newborn son he was so happy, he almost cried but he felt so proud. he literally was in love with his son and he couldn't be happier.

- PERFECT DAD YOU CAN'T CHANGE MY MIND.

[junniepop]

JJK men and domestic life with them.

Warnings: Aged up, Gender neutral, language, and slight NSFW.

Characters: I. Yuuji, F. Megumi, G. Satoru, N. Kento, R. Sukuna, F. Toji

If you’d like to request something check my masterlist

I. Yuuji

Always cooking. You guys are constantly trying new recipes together, most of the time they turn out fine, but there are rare occasions where your whole kitchen is a mess.

Yuuji is the type of person to buy things that reminds him of you. You’re always finding little trinkets in his clothes or around the house that oddly looks like something you’d buy.

Yuuji loves physical activities. He wants to jog with you, he wants to go to the gym together, he wants to try things that are labor intensive and rewarding. Yuuji has unnatural physical capabilities, so it might be hard for you to keep up, just ask and he’ll slow down a little.

This man loves scary shit. Homeboy thrives on horror movies, ghost stories and weird curses. He will take you ‘ghost’ hunting aka some wack ass curse most likely trying to eat some children. If you like horror games, Yuuji is the type to sit right behind you as you play, often you two trade off if the other dies.

In the same thought with video games, Yuuji gives me big gamer energy, like he’s always up to date on his favorite titles. He’s the type to ask you to co-op with him too. He most definitely has made you two a house in a game before. The type of guy to get you to his level so he can play with you too.

Living with Yuuji means dealing with Sukuna. This man makes so many untimely appearances that you have a fear he’ll pop up when you wanna do something with Yuuji. I’m talking in the middle of cuddling and suddenly you’re shoved off the couch or making out and Yuuji is a lot more aggressive than normal. This man lives to annoy the shit out you. He fuckin cackles when something he does gets you. Sukuna would definitely blurt out whatever Yuuji is thinking to tease you both. “You know you make a real pretty face when your bouncing on our cock.” Like seriously a mood killer.

Enough about the demon spawn that takes refuge in Yuuji’s body. Yuuji is a physical affection type of person, the second he’s home, he’s curled up on you fast asleep. Yuuji also holds your hand everywhere and sometimes you have to remind him to let go so you can use the restroom. Yuuji loves kissing too, he’d honestly kiss you for hours if you let him.

On weekends, you can expect Megumi and Nobara over. Most of the time it’s movie night and sometimes it’s game night, where Nobara is screaming about her luck 75% of the time. You’ll be spending a lot of time with these two since they’re his best friends, but you’ll see Toudou occasionally as well. Most of the time Toudou is over it’s to ‘train’ with Yuuji. I pray for the well-being of your home and yard.

Shopping. Always going to the store for something, he’s the type to wander off and bring back random stuff that caught his eye. “Yuuji, is that a family sized bag of kitkats?” “Uhhh yeah… can we get it?” *cue puppy dog eyes* “Well… ugh fine just put it in.” You can’t say no when he does it. It’s his ultimate trump card to get you to say yes.

Yuuji tries to eat both breakfast and dinner with you, he thinks it’s important to eat together as a couple. It’s like a promise that you’ll always have time together regardless of how busy both of you are.

Yuuji definitely had a shitty skincare routine before he met you, honestly you’re surprised he had almost zero acne with his routine. Now, he knows what he should be doing with his skin and is always trying new face masks with you.

I don’t care what you live in, You and Yuuji sit on the roof vibing to music. You guys sometimes sit there for hours just enjoying each other and the music.

Conclusion

Being with Yuuji is almost almost like being in a constant amusement park. Yuuji somehow makes everything fun, even something as mundane as laundry. Man simps for you in the most respectable way.

F. Megumi

Megumi is probably the most peaceful person to live with in this whole group aside from Namami. He’s a naturally quiet person and it’s honestly a nice balance from your hectic work life.

He often comes home later than you, so you make sure to make something for you both. Sometimes he’ll say he’s picked something up, but he enjoys the food you make more. Definitely is the type to subtlety buy groceries so you don’t have to worry about not having an ingredient.

Megumi is the type to do things for you and not bother telling you, he gets too embarrassed to admit it. He’ll do the laundry, make breakfast before he leaves, leave little sticky notes for you.

He likes to take you out on small dates. Sometimes he’ll do in home dates, he’ll pick a day where you’d be out most of the day to set up the house. A large selection of your favorite movies, your favorite snacks, brings out one of his hoodies for you to use.

Megumi loves doing things together, like chores, you guys usually pick a day out of the week to do them. Or grocery shopping, most of the time Megumi like I said- buys ingredients, but sometimes when you guys need a lot of things, you always go together.

You guys have a designated cuddle time. Megumi is a very touched starved individual, so you started implementing a time specifically for cuddling. Normally this after dinner, he’ll sit on the couch and motion for you to join him, typically you end up asleep on him too.

Megumi is definitely the type to start dressing similarly to your sense of fashion. It’s not that he tries to, he just subconsciously starts to do it because he’s so used to looking at the way you’re dressed.

Skincare Sunday. Megumi cancels all events happening on Sunday, unless it’s important, to have a self care day with you. Just you two taking care of both yourselves and each other. These really help you two reset before the dreaded Monday morning.

On some weekends, you two spend time with Yuuji and Nobara, probably out somewhere so they cough cough Yuuji cough cough don’t make a fat mess in the house. Typically having a picnic or walking through the nearby shops.

Conclusion

Being with Megumi is soft and quiet. He likes a peaceful environment at home and intends to keep it that way. If Megumi wasn’t a sorcerer, you two would live a very quiet life, most likely growing old together.

G. Satoru

Rest In Peace to your sleep schedule. Gojo is a crackhead and is somehow able to be up at all hours. This man is poking you at 3 am and telling you some dumb shit he read. Sometimes you wake up to demonic sounds coming from outside the room and just as you’re about to wake Gojo, you realize it’s his dumbass.

This man has been banned from the kitchen on the count of trying to light parchment paper on fire and covering the kitchen in random splotches of what you can only assume is a type of pudding? Hopefully pudding. Every time you cook, you have to keep a sharp eye on him, who knows when he’ll just decide to fuck with you.

Gojo is well usually not home, which does suck- not that you’d say it to his face, his ego would bust a nut if you did. Seriously though, you miss him a lot and often curl up in his clothes on his side of the bed. One time Gojo came home to see you like this and immediately took a million picture while squealing how cute you are. Sometimes, he’ll just look at you apologetically, “I’m sorry I can’t be around all the time cutie.”

He’s the type to buy multiple expensive gifts to make up for it, but every time you tell you only want his presence. Gojo really does hate being away from you for long periods of time, he usually calls like every hour of the day or texts to check in on you.

Despite his reputation, you don’t have to worry about someone else catching Gojo’s eye, he’s holds the emotional attachment he has for you above casual sex.

Now onto some more domestic headcannons.

Gojo lovesss to share meals and I mean that literally. You order something, Gojo is going to take some of it. He gets something and he’s giving you the rest. Gojo loves home cooked meals, he never really got them growing up, it just felt like he was eating the same old shit.

Gojo is the type to remodel the house just for shits and giggles. Your studio? Now a ball pit. The master bath? Converted into a room sized hot tub. The kitchen? A museum dedicated to the one and only Gojo Satoru.

You nag him about his spending habits. Man just doesn’t care, he buy what he wants when he wants. This man commits tax evasion simply because it’s too much work to do. You’re always having to deal with his taxes. Tries to claim Megumi- even tho Megumi makes his own money now.

“SATORU DID YOU JUST SPEND 12K ON A LIFE SIZED NICKI MINAJ FIGURINE?!??!??”

“Dnejeuekwbwu N-no I didn’t.” That grin says otherwise.

You and Gojo do have a movie night if he is home. It’s usually the night he gets home or the night before he leaves. You always fall asleep after the third or fourth movie.

Gojo like I said, is almost never home- which means surprise packages to your shared home. A truly hated surprise. One time you made the mistake of opening a box facing you and a shit ton of confetti popped out, all that was in the box was that and a little note from Gojo to you. “Surprise (Y/n)-chan, did you like my surprise?” A menace in every sense of the word.

A surprisingly long skincare routine. You’re were kinda shocked he even tried that much, he just seemed like someone who had nice skin naturally. Definitely do face masks together. He always gets the ones with animals printed on them too.

The type of guy to just have sex toys around the house, doesn’t use them, they’re just to fluster you that’s it. And he leaves them in wack places, once you found a double ended dildo in a kitchen cabinet, to say you were shocked would’ve been an understatement.

Conclusion

Living with Gojo is like living with a fucking teenager. Horny 24/7 and whines all the time. He is an overgrown child with too much power in his hands.

N. Kento

Most peaceful to live with. Seriously Nanami likes to live a quiet life outside of work. He comes home at 6:30 sharp. Always greets you when he walks in and expects both goodbye and welcome home kisses.

Nanami is the type to cook dinner with you, he enjoys it a lot. There are times where he is too tired and you tell him to go sit down and rest his eyes while you cook.

Nanami like to do everything together. You two often sit side by side while doing taxes or the dishes. Everything is like a two man job now. In that same thought, you’ve only recently started doing Nanami’s laundry, recently because Nanami likes his clothes folded in a particular way. Idk Nanami gives me intricately folded clothes energy, like everything must be folded in a certain way and placed in a certain drawer.

Definitely the type of guy to put his food in containers like he’s Khloe Kardashian or something. Like homeboy loves to label the food and make dedicated spaces for them. Your pantry is alphabetized. Same with the fridge, everything has its own spot.

Nanami enjoys playing board games or card games with you, 9/10 he wins, but hey you won that one game like… 4 days ago. Like even tho he gives me “games are childish” energy, he’s a mastermind at most table top games.

You two read together too. Like not really watching anything, just reading the same book or enjoying each other’s presence. You guys have a room filled with books both new and old.

Nanami gives me “bathing together to relax” energy. Like he comes home and won’t have his shower or bath without you. He often asks you about your day during this time, while he’s scrubbing your head with shampoo.

Nanami’s skin is p e r f e c t. You don’t know how, but one day you’ll learn his secret. He’s the type to have an immaculate skincare routine, like a full on 10 step minimum routine. He is good about doing it every day too and despite its length, it only takes him about 20 minutes to do.

This man is a coffee addict. Nanami drinks so much coffee, you often buy several boxes worth of the same coffee. He is particular about his coffee, he will notice if it’s even slightly off. He mostly likes his coffee black with a very little amount of cream, and sugar if he’s dealing with Gojo that day.

NANAMI LIVES IN A MODEL HOME. You can’t tell me this man’s house isn’t perfect. Like come on, everything is perfect- the lawn, the garden, even the fucking siding on the house is clean. There’s nothing out of place. You honestly don’t know how because you’ve never seen him actually do anything outside, maybe magic? Does he secretly have a perfection technique?

Conclusion

Being with Nanami is like living the picture perfect life. Everything is done perfectly, honestly it seems a little too good to be true and you know what? You’re right. It is too perfect… something is about to go wrong you just know it.

R. Sukuna

I- child do you wanna be homeless? This man doesn’t understand housing of today’s age, like what the fuck is a microwave? He’s the type to start a fire in your home both on accident and on purpose.

Very messy, like you genuinely don’t understand how he can live like a fucking gremlin, just dirty clothes and dishes everywhere. He prances around around like a god, but his living standards are equal to a sewer rat. The amount of shit he’s okay with just isn’t human.

You complained about it once and even though he said deal with it, you noticed he’s been a lot cleaner recently. Rarely you catch glimpses of him trying to cook in the kitchen too.

Sukuna gives me “will eat anything edible” energy. Like as curse he doesn’t really need to eat, but like he was human once. Really really likes your food, too prideful to tell you he sucks at cooking, but he’ll inhale yours.

The type of guy that can’t be trusted doing anything domestic. Like groceries for example. “What the fuck is that?” “Sukuna that is instant ramen” “wtf? Instant? That shit must be nasty”

One time a person looked at you funny at the store and it took everything in your power to keep him from ripping them apart. Needless to say, you haven’t take Sukuna grocery shopping again, you just ask him what he wants and pray he hasn’t burnt down the house while you’re out.

Sukuna has the driest skin in the world, like man is so confident in himself he just thinks his skin is perfect. You’ve forcibly held him down and put moisturizer on him, I’m surprised he even allowed that tbh. Now, he does attempt to do the most minimum form of skincare.

This man does love cuddling. He will never say it, he will avoid the topic, but he loves touching you so much. He’s the type to touch you but will say he knew you wanted to cuddle. Like wtf he just gaslights your ass if you mention it.

Sukuna hates going out. Period end of story. Like why do you have to leave the house? He can provide you with everything you need human. Doesn’t understand the concept like at all. Gets incredibly whiny when you have to go out too. “Tch why? We have that here.” “Sukuna we have zero milk, there is no milk in the house.” “We have milk” “where? Like honestly point it out to me.” “….” “That’s what I thought.”

Conclusion

Good luck honestly. I genuinely think living with Sukuna is just a constant state of having a toddler, just constantly testing your patience any time he can. He’s a softie occasionally, but for the most part just a little shit.

F. Toji

Man is never home. Like maybe maybe like 2 days every two weeks honestly and it does strain your relationship a bit. I mean he is a fine ass man, what’s stopping him from cheating? You. This man, L o y a l, he’s alright with having to wait a bit to rail you tbh. In saying that, you better be an Olympic gymnast because this man- he’s getting you in every position in every corner of the house the second he’s home.

Toji gives me motorcycle energy. Like his only mode of transportation is a motorcycle no ands, if’s, or buts about it. It makes grocery shopping the literal worst but hey it’s fun to ride on. He never goes the speed limit either, this man is weaving in and out of traffic. He hates being out of the house for like more than an hour when he’s home.

Because he’s never home, this man checks up on you like all the time. Like calls, texts, and what not. It’s also his way of letting you know he’s not dead yet.

He’s always having shit shipped to the house and you’ve learned it’s probably better if he opened it after the first time. That time you decided to open it and put it in his ‘office’ aka a roomdedicated to Toji’s weapons and expensive illegal things ✨ it turned out to be what you could only assume to be the corpse of a high level curse.

By the way, you’re not allowed in that room either. In fact he refuses to speak about what he does to you, you just know it’s dangerous. He just doesn’t want you to be scared of him, so that’s why he doesn’t let you know.

Toji always brings home souvenirs, just some little things from places he’s been. They’re everywhere around the house too, simply because you have so many

Toji loves dates too and they’re always fancy. Likes to see you all dressed up for you dates and what not.

Toji is the type to always be tinkering around the house, like constantly fixing or upgrading something when he’s home and sometimes he’ll leave things half finished, which drives you crazy.

This man enjoys his alone time tho, so he does sit in his ‘office’ for awhile when he’s home and it makes a lol sad but you understand.

You introduced him to skincare, tho to be quite honest, his skin is naturally perfect. Like wtf? You like barely do shit, why do you glow naturally? He likes to sit you on the sink and stand between your legs when your doing stuff to his face tho, he likes the closeness.

Casual sex. There’s no avoiding it honestly, man likes to watch you squirm under him. He definitely thinks a couple should fuck like everyday and you two are no exception.

Toji is a shit for cuddling too, just wants to do it for hours. He’s got some trauma so you have to bare with him tho, but he’ll eventually want to cuddle on the couch for hours.

That reminds me, when Toji usually gets home it’s really late, so a lot of the times he’ll sleep on the couch so he won’t wake you up.

Conclusion

Toji is well a complicated individual to date let alone be in a functional relationship with. You have to respect that he can’t be there 24/7 and that he himself likes his alone time too. All in all he’s a good person to live with, just kinda never home.

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

not jealous | jake sim

summary: jake sim is not a jealous person. at least that's what he tells himself. so why does he find himself going through your phone when a certain "bluejay park" decides to text you?

pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. mentions of jay park]

genre: angst, fluff 

warnings: angst, cursing (very minimal), one slightly suggestive sentence, jake being cute, some more angst lol, slightly cheesy bc jake’s just too cute ugh

wc: 3.8k

a/n: ok i loved writing this, which is why i went on to almost 4k words LOL oops. but anyways, i love jake a little too much and this type of scenario has been running around in my head for a while now so i decided to put it into words. also i may have created this blog just so i could post this somewhere LMAO anyways yeah this was my first fic so hope you guys enjoyyyy <3

Jake Sim is not a jealous person.

At least that's what he tells himself. To be fair, in his past relationships, he never showed any jealously. Then again, he doesn't know if he can call those relationships, "relationships". Does a fifth grade relationship with a girl who he was once dared to kiss during a game of Truth or Dare in the basement of a classmate's house during their 11th birthday party count? He doesn't remember being jealous when the same girl was later dared to kiss his classmate, Sunghoon. (Funny enough, that's how the two boys came to be best friends 'til this day, but that's a story for another time.) 

But really, Jake doesn't think jealously is one of his traits, even if he's now almost 20 years old without any experience with love other than his current relationship with you and that short-lived romance in the fifth grade. (What was her name again? Jake would have to ask Sunghoon later.)

So he doesn't know what clicked in that brain of his that lead him to this current situation he was in. He doesn't know why he felt a little spark of anger in him when your phone, which you left right next to him on the couch while you went to take a shower, kept buzzing with texts from "bluejay park". He doesn't know why he couldn't kept his eyes distracted from the messages, although your phone was constantly lighting up because whatever it was Jay had to say to you, he would not shut up about it. He doesn't know why he questioned what your relationship with Jay was for a split second.

In fact, you're close with all of Jake's friends. That's one of his favorite things about you, you get along so well with all his friends you might as well replace Jake himself in the friend group. So he doesn't know what tells him to take a little glance at your phone—at the messages.

But he finds himself doing it anyways.

Hearing that the water in the shower was still running (you were always the type to take long showers), he quickly grabs your phone and scrolls through the lock screen just to find that he couldn't even read the messages since you had your notifications set so no one could read them unless the phone was unlocked (darn you and your settings!) Thankfully, Jake knew your passcode––and you knew his too––or he thought he did. Until the iPhone vibrated, telling him the passcode was wrong.

He must've entered it too fast or something. So he tries again.

And again.

And again.

Until the iPhone switches its screen to say: "iPhone is disabled. Try again in 5 minutes."

There's no way. You never change your password. And even if you did, you would tell him—you two even had each other's fingerprints saved into each other's phones in the past (you know, before the world decided that Apple's home button was too lame and decided to just completely get rid of it). If there was an option to save multiple faces for Face ID, you two would be that couple that saved each others faces in your own phones.

That being said, Jake sat there, your phone in hand, frozen. Why was your phone locked? Why was Jay texting you 10 texts per second? Why did he feel guilty about this entire situation?

He hears the shower switch off and in that moment, he swears he feels his heart beat just a little faster. He tells himself there's no way you'll be out before the 5 minutes are up. You followed a really meticulous skincare routine (one that Jake memorized by now) that took an extra 15 minutes of your time after each shower.

"Hey Jake?" Your voice calls out from the tiny bathroom door crack that you left open before you hopped in the shower, "Is my phone out there? Do you mind bringing it to me?"

Fuck.

Jake shifts on the couch. Taps his foot on the ground. Returns your phone to its original spot. Clears his throat.

"Don't you want to get dressed first?" he calls back, quite timidly.

He can hear you stop moving around in the bathroom. Probably telling yourself what an odd response that was. To be fair, it was an odd question, considering the fact that you two have been together for so long, it’s not like he hasn’t seen you undressed before...intentionally or not. 

Next thing he knows, the steam is rolling out of the bathroom door and you're stepping out in your towel, eyebrows raised.

"If you didn't want to get up from the couch, you could've just said so, you lazy butt," you smirk at him as you walk towards him and the couch, leaving a faint trail of water drops behind you. Jake's eyes follow your figure as you go to grab your phone and lift the screen towards yourself.

That's when he freezes. You do too.

You cock your head, as if asking yourself why it was disabled. He can hear the gears in your head turning.

"Jake, did you try to unlock my phone?"

He runs through all the possible excuses he could blurt out. Come on Jake, think of something! But he knows he can't lie to you.

Too many beats of silence pass by.

"Maybe," he finally says—or more like murmurs. He looks up to you like a child looking up at their mom, who just them caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. To his surprise, you don't show any hint of anger. A flash of confusion—and is that worry he sees?—crosses your face for a split second before you shrug and turn towards your room to change, dropping the subject. It was natural for you two to use each other's phones anyways. So then why did you have that look of worry?

Jake knows you well, a little too well. But that's what you love about him. He can easily read all your emotions. One of the many things he picked up from dating you for almost two years now. But why would you care if he tried to get into your phone? Why would that worry you? All the possibilities run through head and his own worry begins to increase. He trusts you. He does.

So then why does the thought bother him throughout the entire day? Why does he bring it up during dinner later that night, when you're both cuddled on your sofa, slurping take-out ramen while rewatching your favorite k-drama under the thick blanket that you always keep in your living room for nights like these?

"Huh? Of course I've heard from Jay today, we had that conversation about that stupid meme you boys kept laughing about in the groupchat we're all in, didn't we?" You answer him when he asks if you've heard from Jay lately. You sit up from your warm spot under Jake's arm to put your empty bowl on the coffee table in front of you. When you lean back, you look up at him,

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, it's nothing, just wondering," he says, avoiding your eyes by keeping his own trained on the series currently playing on your TV. This would be your third time rewatching this series together. He would never complain to you though, he knows how much you love it and if he were being honest, he was secretly attached to the characters—not that he would ever tell you, he would never hear the end of it from you and the boys.

"You're being weird. Just tell me, or did you forget that I can practically read your mind," you say with a giggle and shove to his side, the one you were currently warmly cuddled into. Jake wasn't the only one who learned how to read emotions; you could read him just as well as he could read you. And like you, that's one of the many things he loved about you. But maybe not in this case.

He toyed around with the contents inside his ramen bowl with his chopsticks.

"I just..." God, how does he word this? Why was he having trouble explaining it? You were the easiest person to talk to. To him, you were the only person he could tell everything to.

"Jaywastextingyouabunchearlier," he blurts out quickly, but not quickly enough for you to miss it.

He feels you shift under his arm. He feels the air in the room shift. Tension.

"What?" Now you're sitting upright, legs criss-crossed in front of you on the couch but turned, so your body is completely facing him. He mirrors you, sitting up to put his ramen bowl next to yours on the surface, but he stays facing the TV.

"Your phone kept going off because of him when you were showering," he says with a little more confidence. But inside, he was nervous as hell, the same nervous as when he asked you out for the first time many moons ago. But it's too late to back out now, he brought it up first, anyways. Guess we're having this conversation now, good going Jake!

"Is that why you tried unlocking my phone earlier? I mean I thought you were just trying to leave selfies on my phone like you always do but you were trying to read my texts?" You question, slightly raising your soft voice. He doesn't know how to react, he hates confrontation.

"It wasn't like that, Jay just kept spamming you and like I—why was he even texting you in the first place? Then your phone got disabled because you changed your password, which you never do by the way, so I–"

"I changed it because my little sister kept getting into my phone when I went to visit my family yesterday! Did you really think I was hiding something from you? You know I can text whoever I want, right? You don't own me."

Okay so now he's managed to make you angry. Good going Jake, part 2!

"Okay but what does Jay need from you so bad that he has to send you like 50 messages at once?" He's standing now. So are you, eyebrows furrowed together as you collect your bowls from the table.

Standing there, bowls in hand, you say, "Jake, that's none of your business! It wasn't even that big of a deal, I don't know why you felt the need to nosy around."

"Well, if he's texting you non-stop, then obviously it's a big deal! We wouldn't even be having this conversation if you would just tell me what you guys were talking about," he murmurs back, eyes narrowing. You scoff as you trail into your kitchen. He follows behind and stops at the other side at your kitchen island as you place the dirty dishes into the sink.

"No, we're having this conversation because you obviously don't trust me! It doesn't matter what we were talking about, it doesn't matter who I was texting! I could be texting your mother and I shouldn't have to tell you what we were talking about! That's why we're having this conversation," you say as you turn back to face him from the other end.

He hates this. He hates fighting with you (which is a very, very rare occasion). He hates that you think he doesn't trust you. He hates his insecurity eating at him, telling him to keep questioning you on why you and Jay were talking in the first place. He was aware that you were close with his friends, but it wasn't until the texts he realized just how close you are with them. It's not that he didn't trust you, he just didn't know how to act when it came to you and other guys. God knows how he got lucky enough to meet you, let alone date you, so the thought of him losing you to someone else actually terrified him. Not only were you his first real relationship, but he wanted you to be his first and only one in life. You were it for him.

"Why did he text you." He deadpans from his side of the kitchen.

You scoff with a hint of exasperation. "You're kidding me."

You stare at him. He stares back, quirking an eyebrow, as if restating the same question back, as if testing you.

You're fuming now. Why was he making it so hard? Why was he doubting you? Out of frustration, you start laughing, which scares him. That can't be good.

"Fine. You wanna know so bad? Take a look,"  you're one tone level away from screaming as you take your phone out of your pocket, unlock it, and open up your conversation with "bluejay park", sliding the phone across the island to reach him.

Jake stares at the phone which now lies there, unlocked, facing him. Isn't this what he wanted? It is, right? That's why he started this dreaded argument with you in the first place.

Then why does he feel so fucking awful?

He looks back up at you, to see you sighing and looking up at the ceiling, as if trying to force your forming tears back into your eyes.

Yup, he feels horrible.

"Happy? Happy to know we were just trying to plan a surprise birthday party for you but you and your jealously just had to know huh, Jake?" You quickly state, voice cracking, as you tried not to choke up. You weren't sad that he found out about the surprise. You were sad that it felt like he didn't trust you. That he thought you were the type of person to do god knows what behind his back. You hated the feeling of not being trusted. Especially by Jake, of all people.

"Fuck."

Jake's face (and heart) falls with the most broken expression you've ever seen. But you're too sad, angry, tired (a mix of all?) to care. Your only goal right now is to not let him see you cry.

You hurry past him, across your apartment, and into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you, leaving behind a shocked, and regretful, Jake.

His heart shrinks when he hears the door slam shut and a little more when he looks down at the still unlocked phone in front of him. He didn't have the heart in him to look at it anymore. Of course he trusted you, he knew what you said was the truth.

He mentally screams at himself for assuming the worst––for thinking that you, a literal angel, would betray him.  First, he thought he was losing you to someone else. Now, he was afraid he just lost you through his own actions. 

He hesitantly sulks over to your door, softly knocking when he reaches it.

"Y/N?"

No response.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. I didn't know, I let my—”

"Jake just please leave me alone for now," he hears you painfully say from a distance, meaning you're on your bed. He knows the door's unlocked—the lock on your door hasn't been working for a long time now, despite the many times he tells you to talk to your landlord about it. But he doesn't find it in him to open it. He knows he messed up. If he saw you in there right now, crying, he wouldn't know what to do. He wouldn't know what he would to do himself, knowing he was the reason behind your tears.

He nods in silence, knowing you can't see him, but does so anyways and returns to his spot on the couch. He could leave right now, go back to the dorm with the rest of the guys, let you have your space like you wanted. But his heart hurts at the idea of leaving you sad, angry, or a combination of both. He can't leave this unresolved. He fucked up, he has to fix it.

And so he sits on your couch for another hour. The clock on the wall behind him continues to tick as the silent tension in your apartment continues to grow. When it hits 11pm and he's sure you've slumbered off into sleep, he quietly enters your room.

He can see your figure in the dark, your back facing the door as you're curled up into yourself under the comforter. He feels his heart drop a little more when he imagines you crying in that position from earlier. He slowly peels the comforter open and gets into his side of the bed, careful not to bother your sleeping figure.

Laying there, staring up at the ceiling, he's never felt more like a stranger in your bed. It's not that he hasn't slept over before, god knows he's probably slept over at your place more than he has in his own bed. But right now, in this moment, he just felt awful. Like he didn't deserve to be in such close proximity to you. How could he be deserving? He violated your privacy, made you feel like you weren't trusted, doubted your relationship.

These thoughts run through Jake's head as he stares up at your ceiling fan, wishing he could turn back time to a few hours ago, before he checked your phone, before he let his insecurities get to the best of him.

You can feel the dip he makes in the bed behind you when he gets in. Of course you're not asleep. There's no way sleep could reach you when you had the recent events constantly replaying in your head like a broken record.

You knew Jake with all your heart. You didn't have to look at him to know he was probably laying there, hurt, staring up at the ceiling, drafting what to say once you wake up—or once he knows you're actually still awake.

You decide to break the tension by turning to lay on your other side, facing him.

You were wrong. Thanks to the little sliver of moonlight shining through your sheer curtains, you can see him, now laying on his side, already looking at you with so much regret in his eyes. You can almost hear the cracks in your heart physically forming.

His eyes widen when he realizes you're still awake. He opens his mouth to say something, but not before you quickly shift over to his side of the bed and embrace him in a tight hold, burying your face into his chest. Without any hesitation, he returns the gesture, arms holding your body as close to him as possible. As if once he let go, he'd lose you forever.

He lets out a sigh of relief as he breathes you in. He didn't even know he was holding his breath all this time.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry Y/N," he mutters into your hair. He feels his hoodie getting wet from where you buried your face. He pulls you closer, if that's even possible, feeling his own eyes heating up with sadness. He would never forgive himself for making you feel this way.

"You know I trust you right? Please know that. I shouldn't have assumed the worst when I saw your phone. I...I let my insecurities get to the best of me."

You move your head from its home on his chest to look up at him, as if asking him to elaborate. This was new to you, you didn't know he held insecurities in your relationship. But it wasn't because of you, no, you were his entire world. Losing you meant losing everything.

Jake's never been the best at saying his feelings. That's why it took him so long (with the help of his six best friends) to finally confess how he felt about you. He was afraid of letting people in if they could easily walk out. Maybe that's why he never let anyone into his life before you. But oh, were you an exception. The second he met you, he knew he was fucked. But thank god he did, because thanks to you, he's been able to be more open, more vulnerable. He's able to talk to you about anything and everything. He doesn't have that same fear of losing people anymore, not when he has you in his life to reassure him every step of the way. But right now, in this moment, he doesn't know how to tell you that his new fear was, in fact, just losing you.

The sheer idea of you not being a part of his life anymore terrified him. 

"I hope you know you're never going to lose me Jake, if that's what you're insecure about," you softly mutter as you wrap your free arm that's not stuck in between both your bodies around him to gently play with the ends of his hair. It's as if you could read his mind, he loves that you know him so well.

"It just sucks that you could even think I would ever do something as awful as what you were assuming...with one of your closest friends nonetheless," you continue.

"I know. I know, and I feel terrible. I'm so sorry. I know you would never do anything remotely close to that, and I know you would never intentionally try to keep anything from me," he sighs. He shifts so he can lie down on his back, bringing you with him to lie on his chest, never letting you go once. "It's just...I just don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you Y/N. Everyday, I ask myself what heroic thing I must've done in my past life to deserve this life with you and I can't help but think you could just as easily be stripped away from me."

As much as your heart breaks listening to him rant, you feel your love for him grow even more. You knew how hard it was for him to put his true emotions into words, and him telling you this reminded you how much trust he had in you.

After some moments of silence, moments of him drawing random shapes onto your back, moments of you two just holding each other like it was the end of the world, you speak up.

"I love you. I'm sorry for making you doubt yourself—"

"No, it's not your fault, I can't help but think things like that. I just don't know what I did to deserve you, and I know that I need to be mo–"

"Babe let me finish," you say with a little giggle in your tone. He immediately stops and mutters a little "sorry". How cute, you tell yourself.

"I was gonna say," you look back up at him so you're making direct eye contact now. "You're the only one that's ever on my mind, Jake. I can't help the way you think, but I can assure you that there is no one else I would rather be with. And I mean that for the rest of life."

You snuggle back into the comfortable hoodie he's currently wearing (you make a mental note to yourself to steal it from him later) and decide to ease the tension,

"So you're stuck with me for life, sorry to inform you Mr. Sim."

Jake lets out a laugh, looking down at you to see you returning his smile with a cheeky one.

"I love you. So much," he says so sincerely, so genuinely, that you almost tear up again from how content you were. Now you were asking yourself, what did you do to deserve him?

Jake Sim is not a jealous person.

No, he just loves you.

A lot.

[elysianslove]

eHm can you pls write some fluffy iwaizumi mini hcs?

can i ever,,, ugh yes. suna’s version here! 

↬ when the two of you first started dating, iwaizumi didn’t kiss you for a very long time. at first it seemed like he was just hesitant, or being respectful, trying to let you set the pace for intimacy instead. he admitted later to you, though, that he hadn’t had his first kiss yet, and it wasn’t that he wasn’t sure about sharing it with you, it was more that he was so sure that he wanted you to be his first that he couldn’t afford any mess up. he was shy. to his relief, you didn’t rush him at all, and instead found different ways to show your affection to him. 

↬ which leads to my point of iwaizumi adoring cheek kisses. for a good couple of months, you still hadn’t shared your first kiss, so you resorted to similar displays of affection, like cheek kisses. he found himself so comfortable with the feel of you reaching up, leaning on his shoulder with both hands as you press a kiss to his cheek. it’s his favorite public display of affection. because of its significance (in relation to your respect towards him, and the fact that you’d gone out of your way to find different ways to show your affection), cheek kisses hold a special place in his heart. nothing makes his heart beat as fast as when you grab his jaw in a fit of happiness and press a long, wet kiss on his cheek. against all odds, it makes him smile a smile unlike any other, and the blush that taints his cheeks and spreads along his nose and to the tips of his ears is a gift on its own. 

↬ wait that reminds me!! iwaizumi cannot lie, like whatsoever. if it’s very, very necessary, like to protect his friends or to cover for them or to protect a surprise planned, then maybe. but otherwise, he’s very obvious. now it’s more obvious to people closer to him than others, because if you focus enough, his ears tend to twitch a little when he’s lying, and it’s literally the cutest thing ever. because he’ll have this very serious face on, trying to spew out a lie, and then his ears twitch and he’s done for. 

↬ iwaizumi is a really good gift giver, because no one pays attention the way he does. and even if he barely knows anything about the person, he somehow can pick out something they like very well. his gifts tend to be more sentimental, and when it comes to receiving, he’s so bad at — saying thank you? at receiving them? he just gets all red and fidgety and starts saying things like, “you really shouldn’t have,” and, “why would you spend your money on me?” please someone sugar mama/daddy him.

↬ it doesn’t matter if you can drive or not, iwaizumi will never ever let you. he insists on driving, no matter how tired he is. he always plays your favorite music, and he talks to you the whole ride. like he loves to have you leaning close to him on your elbow, chin tucked in your palm, and the two of you are just chatting. 

↬ which leads me to this: iwaizumi loves your voice. he can hear you talk for hours, genuinely. maybe it stems from the fact that he prefers to listen, but really, you can find him at any point in time, at any hour of the day, listening to you speak. he loves to come home to you and listen to you tell him about your day as you two eat, or calling you in the middle of the day just to check in on each other, or having you send him voice notes instead of text messages, or videos instead of pictures. he just loves to hear you, in general. it genuinely elicits this really warm feeling in his chest that he can never get enough of. 

↬ if you wear makeup often, iwaizumi loves to take it off for you. he spends a lot of time watching you when you’re both doing your nightly routines, so at some point, he just asks if he can do it for you instead. he wants to practice, he says, so that one day you can leave it completely up to him. he finds it so intimate, the vulnerability and trust of it all. he’s seen you without makeup, of course, and he thinks you’re really beautiful with and without it, but there’s nothing purer to his heart than the trust you put in him to let him take your makeup off for you. he’s really gentle at first, because there’s this irrational fear that he’s gonna hurt you somehow. if you wear fake lashes, he literally winces as he takes them off it’s adorable. but after he’s wiped it all off, and grabs a damp towel to wash off the excess and the residue, he just leans over and presses a kiss to the tip of your nose or to your lips and smiles softly. 

↬ iwaizumi is a sucker for the little domestic moments the two of you share. it literally might be his favorite thing ever. like the two of you washing the dishes together, you’re cleaning and he’s drying? or doing the laundry together? or cleaning up your messy room together, and each of you grab the ends of the blanket and lift it up to spread it over the mattress neatly? or grocery shopping together, with him trying to ignore the incredibly unhealthy choices you’ve decided to toss into the shopping cart? or him passing by your work as he comes home from his to take the two of you together? or renovating your home together, and you’re covered in paint and dust? or ordering breakfast as you lay in bed because you’re too lazy, and then eating said breakfast still in bed because you’re still lazy? or the way you walk into the bathroom while he showers to wash your face and brush your teeth and the two of you just talk? or the random pictures you send him throughout the day, maybe of a weird cloud or a pretty sunset, with a little smiley face after? or the way his family loves you, so much? the way his mother personally texts you to check in on you, to tell you to come over, to just catch up? because you’re a part of the family now? 

in conclusion, hajime wants to marry you. 

↬ he loves building things for you. like iwaizumi loves the way you just hand him the instruction manual exasperated, and he just sighs with a grin and sits by you. he’s so good at it too! and he always does it shirtless too. it’s mostly for your viewing pleasure :) 

↬ when you two go on vacation, iwaizumi’s  always setting rules like “we need to be up by 7 am to enjoy the day” and sets alarms and all, but sleeps through all of them. you end up the only one awake. he’s just on vacation mode <//3 

↬ always puts your phone in the charger if you forget before you sleep. 

↬ iwaizumi becomes cuddlier after he falls asleep. like he lets you cuddle up to him as you’re both falling asleep, but when you wake up before him, you literally won’t be able to get up, because he’s going to be half on top of you. and if you try to wake him up, he just sticks more to you. it’s so endearing, really it is, because he looks so adorable with his cheek squished to your chest like that, and his mouth slightly parted. not when it’s a battle between you and your bladder though </3

↬ loves wearing your thighs as ear muffs. like iwaizumi adores just having you lay there, and him coming around to lay between your legs, slinging them over his shoulders and locking your ankles. can literally lay there for hours. 

↬ if you ask for socks because your feet are cold, he’ll give you his. don’t ask him why he just does. 

↬ loves to hug you after a very long day. like he just groups you in his arms and holds you there as you go, “long day?” and he replies, “yeah.” then he asks, “long day?” and you go, “yeah.” and the two of you just stand there for a while, before he kisses the top of your head and leads the two of you to get into comfier clothes. 

↬ he prefers showering with you over baths, just cause he likes to get on his knees as you’re scrubbing at his hair and kissing your tummy. he doesn’t know why he loves it as much but he does, especially the way you laugh after. it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love baths as well, especially if he’s extremely tired. there is the issue of convincing him to get out, but just drain the water and watch the goosebumps raid his skin and he’ll leave. 

↬ loves it when you sit on his lap when you’re in public, especially in gatherings with a lot of his friends. he doesn’t do it out of possessiveness or jealousy, he just likes it when you’re so open and comfortable about everyone knowing you’re with him, as his partner and significant other. nothing having to do with insecurity either. he just loves it. loves the way you lean into him, and the way your waist feels against his hand, and the way you talk in slightly hushed tones to each other. 

↬ basically, when iwaizumi loves, he loves with his entire heart <3 

this literally made my entire day, i loved writing these so much. iwa has such a special place in my heart i love him so much <333 also i hope everyone enjoys these as well; love you all, mwah <333 

[winterrose527]

spider in the bathroom

robbcella

“What do you guys want to do?” he asked.

Ghost and Grey Wind blinked at him, the latter sticking his tongue out for good measure.

“I thought of the last thing… and we’re out of bacon,” he told them. 

This was officially pathetic. He was officially pathetic. 

He was sitting at home alone on a Saturday night with his dog and his best friend’s dog, because his best friend was on a romantic weekend away… with his little sister. It wasn’t like he wasn’t happy for Jon and Sansa, he was. Their relationship was a long time coming and they both deserved happiness and blah blah blah, but it was sort of annoying that the fact that she was dating Jon meant that she got first dibs on his time. And second dibs, actually. He was afraid to ask who got third. 

His family had always joked that him and Jon were codependent and they’d laughed along mostly because Theon got pissed about it because they weren’t even a little dependent on him, but he hadn’t realized it was kind of true until suddenly Jon just wasn’t there. He had other friends, lots of them actually, but ugh they were all so lame compared to Jon. They talked so much. Not like Jon. No, Jon said little enough that you had to routinely check to make sure that he hadn’t frozen like a computer screen, only to say something that was so spot on that it freaked you out.

He was perfect. 

Not that he missed him or anything. Obviously. 

The dogs’ ears perked and his head perked and faced the door and then all of a sudden there was a knock on it. He was kind of deflated because considering that Jon lived here and had a key he wouldn’t knock. The dogs hopped up though so he did the same. 

He opened the door and – “Holy shit.” 

In that moment, if he’d been asked to identify Jon Snow out of a line-up of ONE he wouldn’t have been able to. 

He’d seen porn that started like this. He’d had dreams of exactly this. 

Myrcella Penelope Baratheon, at his door, dressed only in a fluffy towel. 

“Can I use your shower?” she asked. 

“Uhhhh,” he offered smoothly. “Why?”

WHY?! 

Why are you such an idiot is a reasonable question. Why Myrcella PENELOPE Baratheon wants to use your shower is of no consequence. She can use anything of yours she wants. YOU KNOW THAT. 

He’d been on his own too long. He was definitely getting weird. But he’d been in solitary confinement for almost five hours, so it wasn’t like he hadn’t put up a good fight. 

To his surprise though, she was blushing like she was the one who had lost it. He loved it when she blushed. It turned those perfect cheekbones the sweetest pink, her pale eyes widening.

“There’s a spider in mine,” she explained. “And Chatty is being spiteful and won’t hunt it for me even though I know he loves to hunt. It’s his second favorite thing.” 

She was so fucking cute.

“What did you do to Chatty?” he asked, not that her cat needed a reason for chaos, but usually he reserved that for lesser beings like him, not Myrcella, his beloved. 

She sighed, “Well nothing all that terrible or anything, actually, it’s just that Lady misses Sansa so I’ve been giving her extra attention and he’s such a boy about it.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.

She rolled her eyes, “It means that boys are needy.” 

“We are not,” Robb said, “I’m not needy.” 

“You’ve texted Jon twelve times!” Myrcella told him.

“What did you bug my phone?’ he asked. 

“No, Sansa told me,” Myrcella said. 

He crossed his arms, “And when did she do that?” 

“When she called me when they got to the hotel,” Myrcella answered. 

“And why did she do that?” he asked. 

Myrcella bit her lip, looking away from him, “Because I asked her to.” 

“Ha!” he pointed at her. “Needy.” 

“Concerned,” she said. “It’s a long drive.”

“It’s a half hour outside the city,” he corrected.

“And yet you managed to text Jon twelve times by the time they got there!” she reasoned. Then whimpered his name in the way he’d imagined so many times, “Robbbb are you going to let me in or have you forgotten that I’m standing in the hallway in my towel?” 

He had not forgotten that. He’d been ignoring that fact so as not to embarrass himself further, but he had definitely not forgotten it. 

“Do you um want me to kill it for you?” he asked. 

“Oh, would you?” she asked. A smile overtook her face, “Really.” 

Anything.

“Why not?” he asked.

How’s that for not being needy, MYRCELLA?

He tried to close the door but Ghost and Grey Wind wedged themselves in between it. 

“I uh… guess they’re coming…” he said.

She smirked, “Needy boys.” 

“Says the girl who can’t kill a spider on her own,” he dangled, regretting it instantly in case she chose to do just that just to prove a point.

“Mine is a gentle spirit,” she told him primly. And then shuddered, “And they’re gross.” 

He smirked and followed her down the hall, wishing her towel was just a little smaller, it covered too much of her thighs. She was just so teeny. It was probably a hand towel.

She let them into her apartment and Chatty took one look at Ghost and Grey Wind and promptly retreated into Myrcella’s bedroom, all but slamming the door behind him. 

“Okay, let’s see about this,” he said as Myrcella closed the door. He turned back to look at her, “Now if I’m not back in ten minutes… tell Jon I love him.” 

She giggled, “Deal.”

He went into the bathroom. The dimly lit bathroom. That had candles along the tub. And bubbles in it. 

Odd.

He looked around, even getting down on his hands and knees – fuck how much do these girls shed? – but didn’t see anything.

Standing up he saw her phone on the counter and grabbed it to use the flashlight feature. When he clicked on it though, a preview of Sansa’s text showed up. It said don’t be a baby, just do it.

Once again he looked around the bathroom, less for the spider and more for evidence.

Mood lighting? Check. Candles? Check. Bubbles?

“Myrcella can you come in here, please?” he called.

“Is it dead?” she asked oh so hopefully as she peered in the bathroom, clutching that fluffy towel to her body. 

“Is what dead?” he asked, “Oh… the spider… right… no I couldn’t find it.” 

She glanced at him with wide eyes and looked around, stepping into the bathroom, “Are you sure?” 

“It’s gone,” he stroked her arm, and then pulled her closer, “If it was even here at all.” 

She pulled away from him, “What are you talking about? I didn’t imagine it.” 

He smirked, “Myrcella, it’s okay. Look this is cute and all but you don’t really need the whole show, I want this too.” 

“Well good…,” she shook her head, “Let’s find it.” 

With that she pulled away from him entirely and turned and looked on the far wall. 

“Wait…,” he said, “There is actually a spider?” 

“What does that even mean?” she asked.

“I uh… Sansa texted… and uh… bubbles,” he offered by way of explanation.

“What?” she asked. 

“I… fuck, okay um… I thought maybe you were… seducing me,” he offered. “Which obviously you’re not because you wouldn’t but the spider story and the bubbles and Sansa’s text I don’t know! Isolation has made me crazy.” 

She giggled and held out her hand. He put her phone in it.

She read the text and shook her head, “She was telling me to kill the spider not to seduce her older brother in a towel like I was in some bad porno.” 

“Right,” he nodded, “That uh actually makes more sense.” He clapped his hands together, “So let’s find that spider!” 

“Wait,” she said. 

He looked around, “Do you see it?” 

“Just starting to,” she said. That was sort of a weird response so he turned back to look at her and saw that she was smiling slightly, her eyes shining at him. “You said…you too.” 

“What?” he clarified.

She shook her head, “When you thought I was seducing you… you said you wanted it too.”

“Oh,” he nodded. “That happened.” 

“Is that true?” she asked, “Or um… did you just like… see an opportunity?” 

Maybe it was the candles, or the fact that she was standing there in that little towel, or maybe, really, actually, it was just the fact that he had never seen Jon as happy as he had been ever since he’d finally just gotten over himself and told Sansa how he felt. 

“I uh… saw it as a chance…” he admitted, “To get what I’ve wanted for a really long time without risking losing one of my best friends on a full blown confession.” 

She stepped closer to him, “You’d never lose me.” And smiled, “And I like full blown confessions.” 

“Myrcella I-“ he started.

But she was standing on her tiptoes, a smile on her face as she tilted her face up to his, “I want this too.” 

Their lips touched and her breath caught and then he was wrapping her in his arms, kissing her more and more and more. He was holding her so tightly that it took him a moment to realize she was trying to lift his shirt.

“Really?” he asked.

She grinned, “Well there’s no reason to waste a perfectly good bubble bath… is there?” 

He pulled the towel off of her, letting it drop to the ground, his hands wandering over her perfect smooth skin. She pulled off his shirt and then pulled his sweats down and then they were both naked and were eagerly getting into the tub, slipping and sliding and laughing all the while. 

Finally they got in, and they got settled. He had his back to the edge of the tub and he had her legs pulled over his. She had bubbles all over her and looked beautiful and pleased with herself.

“I’m still not entirely convinced this wasn’t a ruse,” he told her.

She raised an eyebrow, “Oh no? Don’t believe there was a spider?” 

“Nope,” he shook his head.

Her nose scrunched adorably and she tilted her head to the side, “Then would now be a bad time to tell you it’s on your neck?”

[astaroth1357]

The MC is a Valkyrie

Demigod MC Series: Intro

Greek: Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon, Ares, Hestia, Nyx

Norse: Valkyrie

A bit of a change of pace this time! No worries, I'm not done with the Greeks or anything. I just had this idea and wanted to get it out. 

Valkyries aren't really demigods, but are a part of Norse myth as the minor divinities that help choose and deliver fallen warriors to Valhalla to join the ranks of the einherjar (the souls who will fight when Ragnarok comes). Valkyries are depicted as women who are fierce warriors in their own right. Despite their place as the gatekeepers of the Chosen, they've been said to sometimes take heroes and mortals as lovers or take residence in Midgard posing as daughters of royals/nobility. 

Lucifer 

At first, they thought they grabbed an heiress - which would have been bad enough - but then the MC grew wings, drew a spear, and asked who among them wanted a glorious death...

How hard is it to find ONE damn human on Earth? Isn't that realm supposed to be full of them??

Diavolo was thankfully able to talk their winged friend down from skewering Asmo and accepting the exchange on behalf of the human wo-… Midgard. 

Living with a Valkyrie is different for sure. The MC is a proud woman who takes her role very seriously and she's seemingly deemed him and his brothers as candidates for einherjar (despite being demons).

He's tried many, many times to explain to her that they're not interested, but she's unconvinced. Now the MC watches his brothers like a hawk waiting to cart one of them off to Valhalla! Any mortal wound could be an excuse...

He's had to save Beel and Satan twice from getting dragged to that infernal palace… For whatever reason, she seems to have taken to them the most. Is it old Norse culture to favor the brash and strong? He has no idea...

At the very least, she knows better than to try to drag him into her little plans. Though he's sure he could qualify for the einherjar (obviously, why wouldn't he?) he has no interest in leaving his life here behind.

To think he'd actually have to put surveillance on his own brothers for their safety… But they're not going to get drafted into some ancient Norse war, not if he can help it.

Mammon 

She’s an heiress… An heiress!!

Well, her human world identity is an heiress to a well-respected (and rather magical) rich family but that still technically counts! She’s crazy loaded back there! He’s in love!!

The only problem is that in the Devildom she doesn’t have a cent.

… and the fact that she keeps trying to get him killed. That’s also a problem.

In a way, things are not as bad and exactly as bad as that sounds. The MC apparently wants him to go to Valhalla (dope) but she can’t just take him there… He technically has to die in some kind of “vallent battle” first.

Her solution? Pick fights with nearly anything that moves and drag him into it!

Honestly, it’s pretty annoying… Sometimes he just wants to have a fun night out without getting into a barfight, you know??

At least the MC can handle herself… Hell, he was her "babysitter" but she barely even needed him. A lesser demon once made the bad idea of trying to cup her ass and lost a hand for his trouble…

Though, what this amounts to is the MC starting something then fighting alongside him like back-to-back badasses while looking for any excuse to scoop him up and fly him to Asgard!

Why does he put up with this? Well for starters human world rich is still rich, all he has to do is get himself a portal then he's living the high life! And secondly, well… what's the harm?

Sure, she technically wants him dead but he's the secondborn! The list of people who can take him down is so slim that it's not like he's in any danger. She even fights with him so things are a piece of cake!

Is this a case where he's 100% more forgiving because she's rich? Yes. Absolutely. But a golddigger's gotta eat somehow, right?

Leviathan 

Is it weird to be jealous over someone not wanting you to die...?

Okay, that's an oversimplification but Levi can’t help but feel snubbed that the MC doesn’t have any interest in taking him to Asgard. Like, none! And why not??

He’s strong! He’s tough! He’s part snake too! Don’t the Nords have a thing about that? Like, there’s a giant snake they’re all worried about?? Maybe he could communicate with it!

Logically, Levi knows that he really shouldn’t press her on this… MC is pretty much a Grim Reaper with a Norse coat of paint and Asgard doesn’t really sound like his speed. No anime, no video games, not even cable! It’s just eat, train, and drink all day… Ew.

But still… What makes him an odd one out? 

At best, she just knows he wouldn't be happy there. At worst, she's underestimating his skill… or maybe she's gauged him just right? He's always known he was weak!! 😫

Oh well... at least she's not a bore to be around. Far from it. She treats EVERYTHING like a life or death trial - he's pretty sure that if he challenged her to rock, paper, scissors she'd commend him for his bravery and swear on her sisters that she won't lose.

He once made the mistake of inviting her and Simeon for a game of Devil Party and they both got so into it that they nearly had a duel to the death as a tiebreaker… 

Thank Devil that the game had a pre-programmed minigame for that kind of thing… It would have gotten messy otherwise.

Well, even if his other brothers go to Asgard, he can just chill out here with Lucifer and Asmo… right…? Actually, no, that sounds horrible! MC, he changes his mind!! Take him too!!! 😭

Satan 

How many times does he have to say that he doesn’t want to go to Asgard?!?

Well, okay that’s not entirely true. Out of scientific curiosity, seeing the godly realm of the old Nords would be fascinating but he doesn’t want to stay, which the MC seems to have trouble understanding…

He’s not even sure why she's singled him out for einherjar status… Any one of his brothers are powerful beings in their own right and he’s not particularly, uh, “even-tempered” himself...

His best guess is she saw him wipe out a handful of lesser demons at some point and declared him Ragnarok material. He always ends up throwing around at least three of those idiots a week so checks out… 

If he's being honest, her very existence raises so many questions… Does this mean that Ragnarok is real? Will the human world be swallowed up by the sea? Will the gods of Asgard fight and die as a new world is established? When??

Unfortunately, the MC won't tell him when it all will come to pass (he suspects even she doesn't know) just that Loki will trigger it… Someone keep tabs on that guy.

Until then, he just has to put up with her attempts to convince him but his patience is wearing thin… He's pretty sure he threw a bookshelf at her once but she caught it anyway so yeah...

He did challenge her to a proper duel too but… well let's say she's a Valkyrie for a reason and leave it at that. (Being saved by Lucifer was so humiliating… He's done here, move on already!!)

Asmodeus

First things first, she's gorgeous. Beautiful! Divine! (Literally 🤭)

Now that that's out of the way… She may also have a screw or two loose.

Like, he gets it. She's a Valkyrie and snapping up strong souls is her thing but come on… Mammon? Really? Why would he get into Valhalla instead of him, huh??

Why can't he get to go to the beautiful afterlife of the old Norse with all their strapping warriors, lovely maidens, and endless partying?? It's not fair!!

Ugh… and now she's got him sounding like LEVI! How frustrating…

Well, it may not be that bad. According to MC, he'd have to do battle training in Valhalla and that wouldn't really agree with his beauty routine. Like dirt, sweat, blood, and muscles? No thanks! Not for him.

He asked MC if he could get some kind of pass, but no dice… Maybe he could still convince her to let him vacation there… Or go for a visit? Just one? Surely that couldn't be so bad right?? He's heard that Thor looks NOTHING like people think he does and he's so curious!!

The closest he's ever gotten was challenging the MC to a fashion contest for a visit, but he dropped that idea quick when she proposed that they somehow include a wrestling match in the dressing room (and he knows she didn't mean the fun kind...)

As much as he'd love to get skin-to-skin with MC, the idea of getting locked in a chokehold was less appealing for some reason. 🤔

Ah well, he'll just have to make due admiring her wonderful body clothed for the time being… There's something to be said about muscular ladies, no?

Beelzebub 

So she’s almost convinced him to join the einherjar like twice now…

He’s not the best at making decisions when he’s hungry and the MC keeps hyping up the food… Apparently it’s really good up there and MC says that she’s never seen an empty platter... Just thinking about it makes his stomach do backflips.

Thankfully for him, Lucifer usually steps in before Beel can sign his soul away and reminds him that he can’t just abandon the family for a meal, even if it is a feast.

You'd think he'd be annoyed but Beel isn't really bothered by her habit of trying to bring everyone to Asgard. At least not on a personal level.

Like Lucifer, he doesn't want to see his family broken up so he'd rather she wouldn't… But she's a Valkyrie right? It's what she does. It's not like she can help it.

In a weird way, he also thinks she means well. She just respects them and wants them to have a good afterlife. It would be kind of sweet if they didn't have to die for it first…

If he's being honest, he's not that worried about it anyway. His family is pretty tough, not a lot in the Devildom can take them down. As long as they're careful, everybody should be alright. 🙂

Maybe he could get MC to make some Valhallan food for them in the Devildom… Or he could get one of those immortality apples?? Though those would extend his life wouldn't they…? Oh well...

Belphegor 

Belphie's attempt to kill the MC went something like this:

Belphie: *switches to his demon form* "I can't believe you actually trusted me!"

MC: *blinks* "Oh. So you want to challenge me then?"

Belphie: "What?"

MC: "Ah, now I see! You want to fight to prove your valor then die by my hand??"

Belphie: "What are yo-??"

MC: *summons wings and golden spear* "I like your spunk, demon!! Fight me with all you have and perhaps I'll take you to Valhalla! May you join us in our fight as a brother!!"

Belphie: "What the hell are you talking about!?!"

To his credit, he put up a good fight and probably would have gotten into Asgard if Lucifer hadn't intervened to save his life.

It can be said that the MC's Valkyrie-hood took Belphie completely by surprise. Sure, he thought she was a little weird for a "human" but challenging him to a duel to the death? That came out of nowhere!

His uneasiness about her only grew after he found out that she's been literally trying to get Beel killed! How in the world were his brothers so relaxed about this?? She's insane!!

So say what you will about the MC, but she's managed to do the impossible. She got Lucifer and Belphie to make up and work together on something! (i.e. making sure she doesn't send them all to their deaths)

Between Lucifer monitoring his brothers and Belphie watching the MC, they'll keep everybody in the Devildom where they belong. That's a promise!

[lepusrufus]

Double edged scalpel ch. 3

Ch.1   Ch.2

Summary: "it matches your eyes"

----

Cleaning Cassandra’s study became routine. Once a week, her chores were swapped for a two way -for now- trip to the dungeons. Despite every other maid looking at her with utter pity in their eyes, the redhead was not really complaining. She would take Cassandra’s mock autopsies and weird collection of specimens over dusting an ancient opera hall any day. It gave her an odd sense of nostalgia, almost as if she was back with her classmates studying forensic pathology and a friend threatening to throw a severed hand at her. 

She also got to see glimpses of Cassandra. Not that they talked, oh no, the brunette would simply observe her and come up with the occasional task to get a raise out of Nicole and, when it failed to do so, she would grumpily go back to whatever she was doing prior. Her study, however, was an open book. While cleaning the shelves by the desk, Nicole took her time to read the title on each and every worn spine of her books. A lot of them more or less outdated medical books, some relatively modern looking textbooks, even an occasional novel tucked in between its more science oriented siblings. The adjacent wall was full of what looked like hand drawn diagrams, messy notes pinned by tape or even sticky notes. Nicole even noticed a family photo taped to that same wall. It was black and white, with the castle’s courtyard in the background, the three sisters standing in front of their mother.

Cassandra was sitting in her chair, occupying herself with her sickle when all of a sudden she stilled. She pulled out her pocket watch, softly cursed under her breath and pushed herself out of the chair. She was about to exit the room when she probably realized that Nicole was not supposed to be there by herself. 

“Ugh...Follow me. I can’t leave you here alone and I need to get something.”

With the mop abandoned by a wall, Nicole followed the brunette’s hurried steps through the main hallways of the castle, occasionally crossing paths with another staff member. It took no more than five minutes to get to their destination. Bela and Daniela could be heard from inside a room near the castle’s main entrance when Cassandra pushed open its ornate door and stepped inside. Nicole took two steps behind her when a familiar voice called out.

“Ah, Nicole darling! I see you’ve settled in,” Duke said in his usual cheerful tone. 

It did little to stop her stomach from sinking a little when three sets of golden eyes snapped in her direction. He either didn’t notice or didn’t care when he went on. “I hope my favorite clients here are treating you well.” Oh god please shut up. “Lady Cassandra! Your package is also here.” 

She wordlessly took a wrapped box from him and, with a thanks, went out the door. Not wanting to fall behind, Nicole gave Duke a small wave and a smile before turning around to follow. She had to almost jog to keep up with her long strides. Damn you short legs. 

“How on earth do you know him?” Cassandra’s question was accompanied by narrowed eyes.

Was there any point in lying? Lady Dimitrescu already knew so her ever so nice middle daughter could always find out too. 

“He’s the one that brought me here.”

“From the village?”

Nicole rubbed her temples. “From a hotel bar in the nearest big city.” She was beyond done with this conversation. 

Cassandra stopped in her tracks, grabbing the other girl's shoulders when she almost crashed into her. Was that a genuine trace of concern in her eyes?

“You mean you’re not from here? Does mother know?”

Nicole nodded, but before she had time to add anything else, another voice called out for the brunette from behind the pair. It was Bela, the sound of heels on the marble floors echoing around them as she approached. 

“Cassandra, dinner is in two hours.” 

“And?”

“And you said you would take care of the meat. Did you?” 

The blonde scoffed at her sister’s widened eyes, then hooked a finger around the chain connected to Cassandra’s watch and clicked her tongue when she saw the time.

“If you insist on carrying this around at all times, you could at least start making use of it. You have around twenty minutes.” Her voice was icy cold, as opposed to Cassandra’s stammered reply.

“Wait, can you stall the cook for a bit, there’s no way I can do two bodies in twenty minutes!”

“Sorry Cassandra, that’s out of my hands.” And with that, the blonde turned on her heels and left the two of them at the entrance of the dungeons, Cassandra damn near seething.

The two wasted no time in hastily descending the stony dungeon steps, Nicole going back to the study while Cassandra went towards the cells. After no more than two minutes, she came in and haphazardly threw a body on each table. 

The most logical thing to do would be to go about her chores and not risk attracting the brunette's wrath upon herself. But logic was out the window the moment she stepped foot into the Duke's caravan to come to this place. Besides, staying on Cassandra's good side was far better than mopping the floor in hopes she wouldn't snap one day and throw her in one of the moldy cells. 

"Would you like some help with those?" Nicole asked tentatively. 

"Can you help?" Cassandra didn't even look in her direction, only throwing a hand in the air and taking out what looked like freezer safe bags from a cupboard. 

"...Yeah." 

Golden eyes turned to her and the brunette stilled for a second. Skepticism and confusion both obvious on her face at the idea of this small meek maid offering to help out in chopping up a human body. She realized however that the alternative wasn't much better so with a raised eyebrow she put a scalpel and a pair of gloves on the table closest to Nicole. 

"Suit yourself. And don't make a mess." Oh you're to talk. 

Now, admittedly, performing an autopsy wasn't exactly the same as straight up butchering a human body for consumption. How different would it be though? The organs just needed to be separated and the limbs cut. She tried not to look at the face while making the first incision. 

---

It took 17 minutes for both of them to finish. All the bits and pieces were separated and secured in bags just in time for a knock on the door. Cassandra threw her gloves in the sink and went to open it, letting an older woman only vaguely familiar to Nicole inside. 

"Lady Cassandra, I didn't know you had help," she raised an eyebrow at the redhead awkwardly standing by the table she had worked at, scalpel still in hand. 

Cassandra only grimaced and with mock cheerfulness in her voice said, "Surprise." 

The older woman, presumably the cook, motioned for the maids that came with her to take the bags and, with a slight bow of the head to Cassandra, they were gone, only the bloody mess on the tables left behind. The brunette let a sigh escape past her lips and turned to Nicole. Her yellow gaze examined the now bloody uniform for a moment. 

"A shame this got dirty," she said, approaching the redhead. 

Tiredness and holding her tongue never mixed well within Nicole, so at the obviously fake apologetic tone she allowed an edge of snark into her reply. 

"Oh don't worry, the maids are all quite good at washing out blood stains. It's part of the job requirements." 

Cassandra just chuckled and rolled her eyes at the sass. 

"Just ask the head chambermaid for a replacement. This is seriously ruined," she said toying with the hem of Nicole's white blouse, now soaked in crimson. "Your face however, we can still salvage that." 

Nicole furrowed her brows and brought a hand to her cheek, cursing herself under her breath upon realizing that she was still wearing the bloody gloves and had just smeared even more on her face. She took them off and threw them on a cleaner spot on the table to be retrieved later. Meanwhile, the brunette moved to the sink and returned shortly with a damp handkerchief. 

She grabbed Nicole's chin between two slender fingers and tilted her head upward. Nicole could feel the metal of the table's edge against her lower back when she instinctively tried taking a step back. She had no way of escaping. Not that escaping even as much as grazed the surface of her mind when she locked eyes with Cassandra, an uncharacteristic sort of softness in her gaze. She took her sweet time passing the damp fabric over the blood stained skin. Then, after she seemed content with her handywork, she dragged her fingers over Nicole's cheek in a caress that sent a small shiver down the redhead's spine. 

"There. Good as new," the brunette hummed. 

It was a complete lie and they both knew it. The blush now present on Nicole's cheeks was probably just as bad as the crimson stains she was sporting mere moments ago, she was quite sure of that. By some mercy of the crow woman these people worshipped though, Cassandra didn't acknowledge it and simply moved back to her desk, leaving Nicole frozen in place.

After a few seconds of silence, Cassandra chuckled and, without turning from whatever she was scribbling in a notebook, said:

"Those tables won't clean themselves darling." 

Oh shut the fuck up. 

---

Most staff members preferred to spend their free time in the gardens, be it the inner courtyard or the fenced in garden at the back of the estate. Nicole was no exception to that. When she had time, she liked to grab a hot cup of tea and sit down in this small nook of the garden where a small, almost knee high bench was overshadowed by large rose bushes. Nobody else seemed to come there if the old cracked wood of the small seat was anything to go by, except maybe the gardener for occasional maintenance but she was nowhere to be seen most times. 

The quiet was interrupted by a distant set of heavy steps. Steps that Nicole ignored. She wasn't in any off limits area and this was her day off. She wasn't doing anything wrong and, therefore, had no reason to believe whoever was walking around was there for her. Until the steps became louder and the sound of heels clear on the stony path. 

"There you are," Cassandra's voice almost made Nicole spit out the tea she was currently drinking. 

The brunette laughed at that, in an oddly good mood and stopped to stand in front of the redhead. Cassandra's "good mood" made Nicole highly suspicious given past experience. She set her cup down and, with a cough to clear out her offended airways, stood and addressed the brunette. 

"To what do I owe the pleasure, my lady?" Aside from having my one free day interrupted. Again.

She saw Cassandra pout for a brief moment but it was quickly replaced by her ever so characteristic smirk. A smirk that Nicole would never admit was awfully attractive paired with the sharp features of her face. At least not out loud. 

"I have wonderful news for you," she said, tilting Nicole's head up with a hand, thumb distractingly close to her lips. "Cynthia, our cook, said she really appreciated the way you sectioned that body last week. So mother decided to give you a ...promotion so to speak." 

Nicole had yet to decide whether this was indeed wonderful news or not, but the part of her brain that was seeking some kind of thrill made that decision for her when Cassandra leaned in close to her ear, lips tantalizingly close to the skin. 

"Congratulations, from now on you're only working with me in the dungeons." 

Cassandra didn't want to kill her did she? She did say that Nicole was intriguing to her and therefore the redhead was somewhat safe from ending up on one of the autopsy tables herself. At least that's what she told that part of her mind still somewhat concerned about self preservation that was screaming at how risky her next move was. 

She gingerly placed her hands on the brunette's hips, tilting her head in a way not unlike Cassandra did mere moments ago. 

"Does that mean I get to teach you proper autopsy technique?" 

Thankfully that got a chuckle out of her, moving back just enough to be able to look into Nicole's green eyes. "Assuming you manage to keep your tongue long enough." 

She couldn't do much more than let out a soft laugh at the absurdity of her situation. There she was, in the garden of a castle in the middle of nowhere with the Lady's sadistic daughter mere inches from her. She decided that at that point in her life if she was going to die, she may as well go out in style, and what on earth could top falling for one of the most dangerous women in a village full of horrors. She shifted her hand slightly, bumping into the handle of the sickle strapped to Cassandra's waist. 

"May I?" She said barely above a whisper, fingers wrapping loosely around the weapon. 

Cassandra gave her an incredulous look, trying to understand what on earth she could want with the weapon. She was aware she couldn't hurt her right?

A small shrug was all the permission Nicole needed. She undid the leather strap that kept the sickle in place and moved back only a bit. Enough to step on the small bench and lift herself. She felt Cassandra's hands placed on her waist for support, almost mimicking the gentleness of Nicole's touch from earlier, when she raised herself on her tiptoes. She took hold of one of the roses above them -a yellow one- and with a quick swipe she cut the stem. The brunette watched her take her sweet time scraping off any thorns before her hood was taken off and that same rose was now placed in her dark wavy hair, right above her left ear. 

"Mm… it matches your eyes. And necklace," Nicole added, bending down to return the sickle to its rightful place. 

Cassandra crashed their lips the next second, her hands pulling Nicole closer from where they were placed on her hips. After a second of shocked stillness, the kiss was returned, their lips tentatively sliding against each other. "Tentatively" didn't last long however, as Cassandra pushed forward, pressing the her against the stone wall behind them eliciting a small moan from Nicole, who's hand ended up tangled in black locks. She tugged on them slightly once she finally needed to breathe and Cassandra pulled back only a bit. She let their foreheads rest against each other and felt Nicole's soft laugh on her lips. 

"Do you even need to breathe?"

"No," the brunette answered simply. 

Nicole blinked in confusion, not expecting her half joke to turn out truthful but before she could speak, Cassandra took a hand off her waist and pulled something out of a pocket. 

"Here," she pushed a familiar looking object into the redhead's hands. 

"Y...Your key to the dungeons?" She was still trying to get her thoughts organized into some sort of coherence when Cassandra rolled her eyes. 

"It's a copy. So I don't have to escort you every time you come down there, which," she added with a gloved finger brushing against her lower lip, "is gonna be more frequent now." 

Nicole nodded, not really trusting her words. She didn't need any though, as Cassandra simply pushed herself off the wall and turned on her heels to leave. 

"See you tomorrow at dawn." 

And with a smirk, she broke into a swarm of flies and disappeared down the stony path.

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

batkids and their relationships with their siblings headcanons. under read more because this got fucking LONGGG

dick

dick is the eldest so he doesnt want to bog down his younger siblings with his problems, but if he DOES, he tends to talk to jason about it

dick and cass start to really begin to bond when Cass shows up to dicks gymnastics class for 3rd-6th graders and then cass shows up all the sixth graders and they get frozen yogurt after lmao

dick and tim are Very much thick as thieves. tim is very much like bruce on the Emotional Suppression scale, so dick just really wants to make sure his little brother is safe and happy ALL the time

Duke and Damian are the only two really permanently at the manor anymore, so when dick drops by he tries to do something with both of them. duke frantically zoom calls dick every other week to help him with his his trig homework. dick shows up to dukes high school graduation with literally the BIGGEST SIGN

everyone insists damian is dicks favorite but he does actually genuinely love all his siblings equally, his relationship with damian is just Very different from the others because of the age gap and being dami's primary caretaker for a year. dick babies dami every chance he gets

jason

would sell Dick to satan for One corn chip

him and cass don't have the greatest start to their relationship because cass is very much Against Killing so it takes a while for jason to warm up to her and earn her trust. now, though, jason is competing with steph by showing cass all the classic American Teenager things she missed out on. steph is currently winning but jason is like 98% positive a crunch wrap from taco bell is going to push him over the edge

tim and jason are currently competing over who can solve the most cases in a month. tim is winning. that won't last long.

jason Loves to Big Brother duke its so embarrassing. duke will get out of school and go to his car and jason is SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT FRANTICALLY WAVING TO GET DUKES ATTENTION. JASON THAT IS MY CAR. signal has one (1) mission with arsenal and arsenal goes hey did you ask that girl to homecoming yet and duke is like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

Damian is proof that Actually, Little Brothers are Pests. Jason fully believes that he was brought back from the dead PURELY to torment damian and he will fulfill this mission at any cost

cassandra

it actually really upset her when Dick didn't accept her at first. she knows her other siblings really adore dick so his lack of trust was really disheartening. it takes dick a while but once he Actually Accepts that cass is going to be a permanent part of their life and oh, wow, dick you really hurt her feelings he really hyperfocuses on bonding with cass for a couple of months which definitely improves their relationship

she really likes jason!! their relationship doesn't start well but because he's close with steph and tim who are cass's top two favorite people to exist ever, cass is like well i GUESS ill hang out with him more. jason is fun to talk to because he always tries his best to explain jokes and give context to what people are talking about (also tim took her to taco bell already but she didn't tell jason she just wanted to hang out)

cass LOVES tim. they just click okay. tim always seems to know when to give her space and when to push and come closer. Tim's "guest room" is just her room lets be real. tim and cass occasionally get mistaken for twins and Cass Loves it.

duke makes cass listen to metal once and cass loses. her. damn. mind. they bond over music a lot because they both Love Music to a degree the others in their family don't.

damian!! damian is her little brother!!! dami isn't As Hostile to cass at first because he is 100% aware cass has the edge in fighting and respects her. cass likes all of his instagram posts and they have a snapchat streak going

tim

tim Loves dick, dick was his first sibling!! he had Very strong hero worship when he first met dick but it mellowed out when tim got older because wow 17 is really not that cool and mature lol. tim has an open invitation to dick's apartment which he does occasionally take advantage of. tim has more than once scared the shit out of wally when wally comes over and wally is convinced they're being robbed (HA) for half a second. i mean. he's not wrong.

listen. tim understands that forgiving the guy who tried to kill you would be a Struggle for some people and it was! definitely! but also at least he can trust jason to, uh, be open about if he doesn't like tim. which is not an assurance he has with other people. so if the guy who tried to kill him tells him tim is cool now then like. maybe tim isn't that bad or annoying a person? also jason arrested a whole gang and won the cases competition but then it created a power vacuum that the whole batfam had to clean up the rest of the month. thanks, jason.

tim LOVES cass. you know how most of the time theres this empty feeling inside you and you just kind of ignore it because you don't know what will fix it or if you do, you know you can't fix it? cass makes that empty feeling feel a little less empty. they just click. tim always tries to travel with cass whenever she leaves gotham.

tim and duke. Tim is actually the sibling who duke goes to whenever he has questions he doesn't want to ask bruce or alfred about, like, life or vigilante-ing or school or college or whatever and Tim is always like yes!! i love Giving Advice and Solving Problems!! tim and duke and jason fill out their college applications together.

tim and damian. LMAO. ROUGH START THAT'S ALL ILL SAY. at some point alfred goes like fuck it. family therapy. and tim and dami are PISSED. tim and damian get along best when they have a common enemy to work against. their relationship gets much better when damian is older and they actually talk about their feelings like emotionally stunted bats. despite how bad their relationship was, tim will ALWAYS protect damian

duke

very much intimidated by dick at first. dick is so much older and has his own job and friends and life and is very much AN ADULT. dick likes to take duke out to do lots of cool stuff (paintball, lasertag, tech exhibitions, concerts, etc). also, dick PERSONALLY introduced duke to superman and is dating THE FLASH. 10/10 awesome big brother.

was intimidated by jason for 0.5 seconds before jason actually opened his mouth and started speaking. jason is literally. So Embarrassing. which is weird because nobody else really seems to feel that way about jason but duke knows he's 100% in the right here. like yeah jason is also An Adult and does Adult Stuff but he's also at the manor like every other weekend???? and he always complains about bruce but always seems to be in the same room bruce is in????? like okay jason. they bond over literature!! jason and duke and alfred will spend literal hours talking about books and duke loves it. duke is the only one who doesn't think jason is funny and jason gets so upset about it lmao.

cass has this one week where she gets really into photography and by virtue of being nearby (and also not nocturnal), duke becomes her victim subject. duke prints out all the pictures and hangs them up in his room (his favorite is one he took when he stole the camera and took a really bad selfie of them together).

tim is closest in age to duke so duke tends to hang around with him a lot. tim introduced duke to his young justice friends and duke is like yes!!! meta-friends!!!! tim really helps duke out with his powers because tim is always like wow i wonder if your powers would work if we did This? can you see farther than other people? is your visible spectrum of light different than other humans? Bruce does the same thing but bruce is boring about it lol.

damian and duke live in the same house and will be in the same room and just send each other social media posts back and forth. they follow each other on instagram and will, OCCASIONALLY, make tik toks together because they're tik tok fiends. each of his siblings have visited his parents once or twice but damian routinely comes with him.

damian

damian gets a special bullet point to say that it took him. forever to come around to the idea of having siblings. he very much believed that he was Bruce's Blood Son and everyone else were just tagalongs or allies. it took him ages to acknowledge that dick, jason, tim, and cass were his siblings, so when duke came and like a week later damian was like Ah, Yes, this is my brother Thomas everyone else was like dude wtf

listen. LISTEN. Obviously. Richard is very highly skilled. and also Father values him highly. and also Richard will listen to Damian complain about his schoolmates. and also Richard is much more patient with Damian than other members of his family. listen....,,, (all this to say damian kind of fucking adores dick lmaooooo this kid).

Todd is kind of unbearable but damian has been informed this is both a normal feeling when it comes to Todd and also big brothers. damian was an only child for ten years so yes, Father, if Todd attempts to tickle me I WILL break his fucking nose. yes i WILL put money in the swear jar but I want you to know i don't regret it. they always try to sneak up on each other but mostly fail.

DRAKE!!! but no lol once damian grows up and is like I Apologize for attempting to murder you it was wrong and you are just as much a son to Father as I am tim is like UGH i guess its cool since ur being so emotionally mature and all. also im 2 for 5 on siblings trying to murder me so im definitely going to win trauma bingo and damian is like i take it back you are insufferable. When Will My Older Siblings Stop Joking About Their Trauma.

CASS!!! listen. cass is cool. Cass Gets It. They have a special Bond. also damian really likes it whenever cass is home because 1) he gets to hang out and do something cool with cass and 2) he feels significantly safer with cass in the house because Nobody will be able to hurt any of their family if Cass is there. ALSO he tries to call her cain but everyone is like DONT DO THAT and he doesn't want to call her wayne bcus theyre ALL wayne (dick adds it on as a middle name but also Richard John Wayne West-Grayson is just. the lamest name ever so dick needs to reconsider it before his upcoming nuptials)((dick will not reconsider it except maybe whether grayson-west would work better)) and so he tries cassandra but cass is like :) call me cass and damian is like cassandra is more formal and respectful and cass is like :) and finally damian just has to give in.

Duke! him and duke actually live together so they get the Most Bonding Time and have a bunch of inside jokes as a result. (is it bad i wanted to laugh because inside jokes... joker... i'll see myself out). they're eating breakfast together (and also alfred sits with them IM NOT A MONSTER ALFIE'S LIKE 70 NOW OKAY) and duke laughs and bruce is like what are you laughing at, son? and duke is like oh damian just showed me this funny meme and then he shows the phone to bruce and bruce grabs it (both the boys groan) and after WAY TOO LONG is like "i don't get it" and so now duke and damian have to try and explain the comedic intricacy of bob's burgers