#ugh idk I didn't mean to go on like this
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#monster noises#might delete this later#but for now#I am a man severely troubled and apparently can't Not publicly express an emotion#it's a problem#but also I don't want to go to fucking work#I wanna stay home and draw and eat a cozy lunch and not be Super Anxious like All the Time#and perhaps more so I wish I worked in a place where there were more people like me#sometimes you go somewhere and even though the trip is short it changes your perspective#and you realize even if things are better than they were you're still kinda of treading water and gasping for air#but I don't have any clear idea of where I could even go#what I wouldn't give for a job where I am just given a task to do and then go home#and what I wouldn't give even more to not have to have a day job at all#to be able to have the time and energy to meet and engage with other artists and actually be a part of the things I want to be#instead of looking in from the outside#feeling like I can't#ugh idk I didn't mean to go on like this#but whatever#we'll see how i feel after my work day#if this post stays up or not#I can't access tumblr on my works wifi and I"m out of data for a bit longer so it's got at least 9-10 hours#and seeing that 9-10 hours written down is making me feel Insane :)
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You guys ever feel trapped? Yea I'm well-acquainted with the feeling of being trapped.
#*text#talk about unpleasant#sorry for only posting textposts here lately. I Forgot how I use this blog.#Also I'm gonna use this as an excuse to vent in the tags about something that's been bothering me today.#I hate days where it feels like I can't be the same person for even. idk. an hour?#I was gonna say just a general statement of 'I hate how I can't feel like the same person for more than an hour' but then I realized it onl#particularly bothered me today so maybe it's just a sometimes thing. throws hands up in the air I WOUDLN'T KNOW#It's just...nothing I do throughout the day matches. i keep starting new things only to forget about them (or forget how much I cared#about them) and try something else later. resulting in a long line of unfinished stuff and frustration.#I keep trying to come up with new conclusions/solutions to problems I've run through my head a million times already.#problems I didn't know I had or forgot about pop up etc.#I'll be doing fine and then I'll just feel stranded out of nowhere with no idea why and trying to figure out if this is normal for me.#I've felt stranded all day.#it's just ugh. i'm so confused. it's been a day i guess.#all the words i write feel kinda foreign to me sometimes. short term memory problems I guess. ✌️#but also I feel very very locked in a really limited worldview. or just like. my world feels very small like tunnel vision kind of thing an#for that reason it just feels like it'll go on the same forever and ever and ever. which is a very scary thought.#idk if my logical 'well that obviously isn't the case. things will change eventually' rebuttal is good enough to go against it.#so there you go I wrapped it all back to the point of the post: feeling trapped. yayyy#i don't mean to make myself sound so sad and pitiful. usually i'm doing fine and bad things kinda just don't register in my brain#but there are Secret Evil Feelings inside me that I don't even know about and sometimes I like to poke them with a stick.
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[just venting a bit into the void you understand you understand 😌] Lately I've been feeling very caught between "I have a lot of thoughts on Sparrow and Normal and all that with the ending and teen talk and feel like I need to get them out and voice them for my own piece of mind and resolution" and "I am lacking the strength and energy to actually sit down and write it all out and kind of really just want to fully move on to other things (AUs, fics, anything else)" but my brain can't seem to commit to either and that's quite frustrating cause it's just left me very restless. *Sigh*. Idk! Just needed to complain about that a bit ig, it's silly but this is what has been ailing me as of late.
#Then there's also a part of me that's like “does anyone even care at this point? haven't I already talked about them too much?”#but I have seen many a take that irk me...#and perhaps at the center of it all nagging at me is that persistent conflation of love and pride#Less about that in Normal's mind so much as in Will's and the fandom's 🤔#Also that reoccurring issue of the fandom going ''Normal thinks this therefore it is The Truth'' though I believe I've discussed this befor#And... Hooks Will could have grabbed onto but didn't... Quite a few of those...#And the double standard/negativity bias in fandom of ignoring that Sparrow says both that he loves and likes Normal while doodlerized#But not treating those with the same legitimacy we do the pride thing. And ignoring Sparrow's demonstrations of love and change...#And what the love wolf scene actually implies about Sparrow (as I see it) with his own explanation of the pride thing in mind#But also!!! Also on Norm's epilogue and how despite everything taken at face value (i.e. no teen talk influence) I don't actually hate it#and I think it's plenty salvageable#And gah also that like *regardless* of how things turn out with Normal and his dad-#Well I haven't listened to much of the teen talk just the directly Sparrow-relevant clips#so I don't know quite how cynical Will is or isn't about Normal's future#But like. UGH. What I'm trying to say is even if things didn't find resolution vis-a-vis his dad#(which tbh I could go either way on- it's the meta misinterpretations of Sparrow that Bother me not so much Normal's)#(Well that's complicated. Again it comes back to the love vs. pride thing gosh this is so vague of me lol)#With all the positive influences in his life (and just the fact that life is long? and therapy is a thing?) I just don't see Normal-#being Miserable for the rest of his life. Like. I mean I won't elaborate here really but damn it no he can absolutely turn out alright stil#blugh#BUT YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN THAT'S A LOT OF STUFF AND THAT'S ONLY VAGUE RAMBLINGS ABOUT *SOME* OF IT#Like I'm proud of a lot of my essay posts (which I'm hoping to eventually compile in a masterpost eventually actually) but they take a whil#And if my heart wants to do other things... Ah idk...#ANYWAYS a vent to vent a vent to vent
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If you can be arsed with all those tags and fancy giving me brutal advice read away haha
#something is definitely going wrong for me because I want to go out tomorrow night with my mate who is thinking about getting a bag in and#and that lowkey sounds like a lot of fun to me and i wanna chip in but like i think B wants to come out and if he does i cant join in with#my pal because B would very much be against me doing that and like ugh#he doesnt even drink at the moment and i feel like out of nowhere hes matured but in all the wrong ways#like in none of the ways ive been wanting him to for the last few years#but in the ways which mean our nights out arent compatible anymore#and i know im the problem for wanting to be nihilistic hedonistic whatever#but i feel like im getting back the bit of my early 20s covid and working in care robbed me of#and hes already had his phase of that sort of stuff but like would be annoyed with me if i was doing coke around him and stuff#im definitely being selfish and should just say no to the drugs and like be a good girlfriend but#ahhhhhh idk if i cant have christmas like and i didn't get christmas eve at the pub then i kinda want boxing day at the pub with my mates#ugh#a tiny part of me is considering changing my plans with b and being borderline dishonest but also i know that#doing that is going to make whatever problem there is between us worse?#ultimately i know that im morally in the wrong here tbh and also like a bit of a loser
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#ok. this is the fucking bullshit thing abt grad school. u go to fucking grad school bc u r a fucking tryhard nerd freak#who is either naturally very smart or ur so fucking anxious u r incapable of allowing urself to get a bad grad#and then u go to fucking grad school and everyone's like: man fuck ur classes. if youre getting streight As then u aren't focusing on ur#research. and theyre right. but u still cant fucking let go of the idea that if u get a bad grad the world is gonna fucking end and u r a#bad person. u didnt try hard enough. all this to say i have a final project that i put way too much energy into and not even in a good way#i would just open the document. start sobbing. and then close it and spiral abt how i didn't want to work on it. so its bullshit#i mean. its a good project idea ans i probably sound like i kno wtf im talking abt bc i do. i worked on that topic for 4 years but like#i could make it wayyyyy better. its bullshit. i didnt even number the citations to give more page space. i made section headers. i didnt#wrap text. i could add like 4 more lines of text if i wanted but i think im not gotta bc fuck it. ugh. i dont even. i fucking avoide#stochastic stuff altogether which i kno im gonna have to fight abt but like fuck it who cares abt randomness. i just wanna focus on the#predictably aspect of community composition. fuck u. i shouldnt have picked this topic. i mean. i had to bc its like the one microbe thing#i could do but its also like the exact topic that makes me wanna rip my hair out and start screaming. like jesus christ who tf cares? ugh.#i think id give myself a B if it was an undergrad class. but the standard is higher in an all grad class. ugh. i hate this. i should just#send it abd be done. i dont even kno when its due tomorrow. before class i guess. idk i felt like garbage today. fucking vertigo bby. i feel#ok now tho. so maybe the allergic reacting is over???? fingers r still arthritisy tho. jesus. im falling apart#ive got a pretty good sounding excuse for being lazy tho: owo i had an allergic reaction to my antidepressants 🥳 but nah no excuses we run#this body into the ground. like the good old days.#unrelated
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#guess who got covid again!!!#my friend who lives on the floor below me + his partners got it and they kept their door open which made me Nervous#but i was like ugh don't be mean etc im sure it's fine and id wrap my scarf over my nose and mouth at least and wash my hands#but thursday evening i was like oh no. oh feels Bad and friday was fucking awful i think i had a migraine on top of it#but saturday was okayish! so i ordered food and i added a note saying please feel free to leave it near the door#but they didn't see/didn't speak dutch so i had to get it from them anyway and i kept my distance in between but blegh blegh#idk i just hate this i hate thinking who i mightve infected i hate that this means im stuck here for another week i hate our fk government#and i hate my own spinelessness#and something about. what else is going on beside covid? oh yeah fucking genocides. jfc.
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Why do certain coworkers have to get you so annoyed with them without even trying, and they don't realize how annoying/obnoxious they are?? Or worse, they KNOW how annoying they are but don't seem to care cause they find it funny?
It's like the silence and neutral expressions aren't enough of a hint that I don't think you're funny and you should just stop while you still have your dignity...
Longer rant in the tags cause it's a lot.
#rant post#personal rant#idk what is with boys and think whenever you get annoyed with them means that its ok to keep going on with the shit 😒#i know it's not all boys but just certain ones#he's only 1-2 years younger than me but he acts pretty immature sometimes#he was trying to get my attention by doing stupid shit as distance away but i didn't acknowledge him and he got that message#but afterwards he tries other stuff and cracks himself up whenever he gets me to look at him thinking I'm giving him a reaction#he's....an odd puzzle piece to place#and my workplace is as small as a typical subway so i can't really keep my distance from him unless i go outside or got to the restrooms#ugh i just wish he wasn't like this ALL THE TIME and he wonders i act the way i do around him on the rare occasions he is serious#and it's just me and him working there other than my manager but can't really do anything about that for now#i just wanna scream at him to not smirk at me and dance around me like he's trying to do a mating dance that makes me uncomfortable each tim#-me but i gotta say it in a way that doesn't sound like I'm hysterical about it or cause ridges since I'm still working there#basically he's one of the reasons i want a new job. it shouldn't be the case where a coworker causes you to leave a job#but unfortunately this is where i am at this point#ok rant over XD#I'm going to wash my face and eat something
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#MY FRIENDS I ABANDONED ARE DOING GREAT SO THIS IS A AVOIDANT WIN!!!!#They are making new friends and starting up OC worlds#It’s amazing#i’m really fuckin happy they are not only ok but better#But that also means my brain is right about me being shit so ugh#Well atleast the people I care for are ok#Thats all I want at this point in life and if me being near them (since I’m annoying cracker) harms them then I will keep them away!#I miss them but they are doing well it looks like so#Still wish i was with them#I do love them#platonically of couse#But still#maybe I didn't have to leave but they seem better idk#They were all nice people I could trust#I wish i could go back though#Just to see#that was by far the nicest year of my life#That 7 month period of my life#I had friends people pretended to enjoy my art I felt like I could breath#Too late to go back now#I’m gonna write a goodbye note I think#We both hate goodbyes but I feel like daisy atleast deserves one#They were a friend who changed me and that doesnt happen#Hasent happened but it did#So yeah I’m gonna write a goodbye letter thing IDK lack of better words#Not like anybody will read this but don’t be like me#Dont let that voice in your head speak at all#The people you know do actually care for you atleast a little bit#Idrc If they were liars or something only going “oh your art is good!” To be nice#Id rather be surrounded by liars than by myself
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ugh there it goes
#our promotion 😢😢#1st place is gone#today was tough our opponents were all way better than us#we only won 1 match out of 6#now they're leading our league well we should at least win our last matchday and get 2nd place#the no1 seed was in another league from ours 6:0 6:0 altough she's quite a good player at our club#we only won one doubles match altough they were not as good by far as their other players#and all the matches were quite one sided they were also way higher rated than us#i also lost my match 😫 altough it was quite close actually but that is even worse sometimes idk#i certainly could have won idk why i didn't i mean there were not many chances but they were there#i lost 5:7 4:6 ugh 😭#maybe with a better serve i would have won#but i was 5:4 up and i didn't win that point like that's when you have to be there and make it#i think this might just be one of my weaknesses i'm really good at conebacks and believing in that i'll win but i have to be more effective#and 'cold' when it matters sometimes i'm quite wasteful with my chances#i often make the craziest most difficult shots which are 'impossible' to get back but then fail at the easiest one's#especially in the crucial moments maybe i should play it safe more and be more patient#nah but winning that first set would have changed everything because 3rd sets are more likely to be my advantage with my speed and fitness#and in the 2nd i was just always one behind i always caught up but never went ahead#my serve also wasn't really there today and my 2nd serve is still too weak opponents take advantage and if i have a bad 1st serve percentage#like today it makes it difficult to win my own serve and i also made many double faults (4) 😕#i aced her once tho 🤪#but my serves are sometimes great but very inconsistent dependent on the day (the 2nd one always bad)#my backhand also wasn't as good as usualy i hit a lot of them out but it got better altough then i took many with my forehand which worked#and my opponent had riddiculous stops they wouldn't go up the ground again 🫠#and she was so good at net and also whenever i went there she'd pass me or lob me 😅#i gave up doing that very soon my best shot at this was just hitting winners and hitting balls deep to her forehand#i succeeded at that a couple of times but it was not enough#i mean i didn't play badly but what a shame#she was very nice though and very fair it was a pleasant match and she told me she was the best opponent she encountered in the league
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#i'm sort of dismayed that carlos/cecil wasn't a poll option for that thing going on#not that it's hugely important. but i feel like wtnv had a decently sized impact on a specific genre of Tumblr posting at the least#and a formative impact on like idk. quite a few of the maker type bloggers#i mean maybe they don't Count as much because it was a podcast?#again it doesn't MATTER it just reinforces the strong nonuniversality of fan culture on tumblr#maybe they were in an earlier bracket and I didn't see it? i CBFed to check ugh
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Bothers me when I'm reading a fanfic and they make Doctor Leonard "Bones" McCoy just like. A mean asshole? MY Doctor McCoy introduced Spock to baby talk. MY Doctor McCoy bounces on his toes and has a smile bright as the sun. MY Doctor McCoy knocked Kirk *and* Spock out with a hypo to sacrifice himself for them even though the aliens said he was almost for sure going to die, and the other two would probably live. MY Doctor McCoy was like, hey, sure Spock committed mutiny, but do we really gotta arrest him? Yeah he's grumpy sometimes, but have you considered the fact that he's stuck on a ship in Space with two assholes that literally never listen?
I just watched the Abraham Lincoln episode and I stg it's a miracle McCoy isn't actually a huge asshole, because wym "this planet WAS deadly but Abraham Lincoln says it's cool so we're going" "hey, don't do that, you could beam down into lava and literally DIE" "Ugh shut UP McCoy we're following Abraham Lincoln onto the Lava Planet That WAS ENTIRELY LAVA until two minutes ago" dude I'd be swinging at a mfer. Especially if I was their doctor knowing it was going to be my job to sew them back together. They're absolute menaces to him and he still loves them and is willing to die for them every other episode.
And I don't ever want to see another "ahh he hates Spock" when he so obviously does not. In the last episode, he wasn't even sure that Kirk and Janice had swapped bodies and yet again, he was ready to commit mutiny with Spock and Scotty (why does Spock love mutiny? 🤨) He does like to rib Spock and get reactions out of him, but Spock likes to do it to McCoy just as much. He's been around humans his ENTIRE life, his mom is a human, he's half human, "I have no idea what you mean, Doctor, I'm just a simple little logic machine," you cannot convince me it's not a game.
And every time I feel like McCoy is being hurtful for actually no reason, the next scene is Spock taking action because of whatever McCoy had said and allowing himself to tap into that human part of him. He has a way of speaking Spock. It's not always nice but it's a way that gets through. Do you think asking Spock to use his Vulcan powers to permanently alter his friend and captain's memory so he forgets his grief over this chick he fell desperately for and then also she died in the span of like four hours is a great idea? No, he'd probably have some moral or logical issues with that. but just speech at him about love and feelings and stuff, throw something in there about how great it'd be if he could just forget, and he'll do it himself.
ANOTHER THING. When he's an asshole, he apologizes. He's not an asshole often, but when he is, he apologizes. Leonard McCoy is a lot of things, but he's not really a dick.
I think he deserves to be represented for the guy he is. He has SO many nice and good moments, he's just subtle about them. Remember when Kirk was like, "Bones, why didn't you tell me she was blind?" And he was like, "Idk Jim maybe because that'd be rude? Have you considered it's not your business?" REAL. Honestly, real.
This is a much longer rant than I meant for it to be and somehow I still have more I could say so imma cut myself off right here ❤️ If you read all that, thanks, you're just as weird as I am, even if you don't agree with my lil character analysis. If you didn't read all that, then you're not reading this ✨️
#leonard mccoy#leonard bones mccoy#character analysis#star trek tos#st tos#tos#doctor mccoy#fanfiction#rant post#spock#he deserves some love#I'm just so tired of him being MISUNDERSTOOD like is it on purpose#bones mccoy#bones tos#bonesposting
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today has been. something
#found out my uncle who ive never met has all of a sudden lost all of his money and is currently delirious and in kidney failure#and we only found out bc the mormons who found him looked to see if they could find anyone in his life and tracked down my mom#like what are we supposed to do with all this#i don't know the man and he did Things to my mom as a kid so fuck him im not gonna visit but also i can't help worrying#idk we got in touch with his landlord who only is seeming to care about what to do with his material possessions#it's pissing me off but also it's not like the man is dead he's still alive you just sent him to the hospital#tho he did imply that even if the kidneys get better he's going to be kept in the psych ward#still doesn't mean he can't own things but i suppose the landlord just wants the unit cleaned out for another tenant#ugh im running on 4 hours sleep i really didn't need this
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“Caught, Almost!”
Pairing: kenma x reader
Synopsis: you and kenma. needy. school grounds. almost caught. ok? ok.
Warnings: “public” sex, smut, +18, p in v, etc. idk im too lazy to properly tag this uhhh, is my first time writing smut cuz i usually get too nervous while writting it ngl (i take constructive criticism, sooo point out what i could do better. thank you!). nyan!
╭⋅Tbh not even you know how you guys enfed like this huh ╭⋅You where supossed to JUST GO AND FIND YOUR BOYFRIEND that was skipping practice (again) ╭⋅He was tired you know?? You guys just finished exam season and! He got a new game! Common!! Let my man rest!! ╭⋅Anyways, you didn’t care, sorry ken ken, disadvantages of having a manager gf unu ╭⋅So, tbh i would never take kenken as someone that has public sex? But i mean lets try to understand him ok? A full exam week, no gf, no kisses and the only opportunities you had to get together he got cockblocked! Wether it was his or you family ╭⋅When you finally find him sitting in his desk playing with the psp you try to pull him away but he does not comply! ╭⋅Until well… you get irritated and start saying that you’d do anything he wants!! ╭⋅So here we go :3
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“Kenma~!” you called out, your voice echoing through the empty halls as you searched for your elusive boyfriend. Frustration bubbled inside you, and just as you were about to give up, a familiar mop of pudding-colored hair caught your eye through the window of an empty classroom. “UGH! THERE YOU ARE!!” you huffed, storming into the room, Kenma flinched at your sudden outburst, his eyes still glued to his handheld console. "You're still looking for me? So... practice isn't over yet? Great..." he muttered under his breath, clearly bothered by the situation.
"Honeyyyy~" you groaned dramatically as you wrapped your arms around him from behind, resting your chin on his shoulder. He didn't budge, his fingers tapping away at the buttons, “keEeeEn~” you whined, playfully trying to push him out of the chair.
"Come on! Kuroo is going to kill me if I don't bring you back!"
Still no reaction.
You leaned in closer, pressing your cheek against his. "Do you really want your beaaauuutiful girlfriend to fail at her manager duties, huh?"
Kenma finally sighed, his gaze never leaving the screen. "
...If it means
you'll leave me alone, then... sure."
"UGH! Kenmaaaa!" you pouted, slumping dramatically in front of him.
Dropping to your knees and hugging his legs you gave him your best puppy-dog eyes. "Please?"
His fingers faltered for a second.
"You're so annoying.." he muttered, but there was the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at his lips.
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After what felt like hours (okay, maybe just ten minutes) of begging and pressing Kenma to go to practice, you finally hit your limit. Refusing to stand from your spot on the floor, you crossed your arms and gave him your best fake teary eyes, complete with a trembling pout.
“Fine then… let them fire me from my manager position,” you huffed dramatically. Kenma finally glanced down at you, his expression flat. “Y/N… this isn’t a job. They won’t fire you.”
But then — ngh! — his gaze lingered. The sight of you sitting on the floor, all pouty and vulnerable? That triggered something in his brain.
Neurons? Activated.
Kenma? Horny
Y/n? Annoyed
Crops? Watered.
A faint blush dusted his cheeks as he averted his gaze, but his voice softened. “But… maybe there’s something we can do… if you really want me to go back to practice.” Your eyes lit up. “YAS! I knew it!” You leapt from the floor, wrapping your arms around him in excitement. “Come on, tell me! I’ll do anything you want!”
Kenma blinked, momentarily stunned by your enthusiasm, before a tiny smirk tugged at the corners of his lips. “Well… you know how we haven’t been able to spend much time together lately?” You nodded eagerly, not missing the way his voice dipped into a quieter tone.
“And how every time we try to be alone… someone interrupts us?” he added, glancing at you briefly before looking away again, the blush deepening.
“Uh-huh,” you murmured, heart thumping in anticipation. Kenma cleared his throat. “Well… maybe we can do it now.”
Your eyes widened. “Wait… here?” “The school’s practically empty,” he murmured, setting his PSP down on the desk. “Only a few clubs and… maybe a janitor. But if we’re careful…”
He finally looked back at you, and the heat in his gaze sent shivers down your spine.
“You serious?” you whispered.
Kenma leaned in slightly, his voice low. “Only if you want to.”
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So... in the end, you gave in—how could you possibly resist that pudding-colored mop of hair? And now, here you are, in this exact moment.
You're leaning over his desk, your hands pressing against the surface.
Honestly, you feel a little exposed. Your boyfriend's behind you, and you can feel his gaze, while all you can see is what's right in front of you. You feel his cold hand lift your skirt, the breeze of his breath hitting your core, making you shiver just a little..
"just look at this, huh kitten? i barely even told you what i wanted and you are this wet already?” he said as he pulled down at your underwear, “ so eager to please me huh?” He said leaning into you and giving your ear a few kitten licks.
"P-Please, Kenma," you whispered, a hint of shame in your voice. Doing this in school? It felt so forbidden, so sinful. But deep down, you couldn't deny it — you'd been waiting for this moment just as much as he had.
To be honest, Kenma had wanted to tease you a little longer, but even he couldn't hold back. After the past week of restraint, he was too pent up to keep it inside any longer.
"So whiny..." he murmured while placing open-mouthed kisses on your neck, while one of his hands ran down your shirt until he reached your breasts, the way he squeezed them was very rough, but it was the right one for that moment, his hand was massaging them and the other was busy unbuckling his belt.
"I'm sorry darling..." he whispered into your ear while holding his member with one hand and rubbing it against your entrance earning a soft moan from you "you know that normally I would go slowly but... I don't think there's enough time for that right now"
You nodded in agreement, eager to feel him inside you, you hadn't realized how much you needed this, how much you missed his hands, his kisses and his caresses...
Just when you were lost in your thoughts a sudden pressure at your entrance made you yelp, Kenma's hands gripped your waist firmly, fingers pressing into your skin as he pulled you closer. His breathing was uneven, his gaze heavy with desire as he leaned in.
"Ahh... Y/N..." His voice came out low and hoarse, roughened by the tension building between you. He pushed in deeper, his movements purposeful, each one making you gasp as your body adjusted to him. "You're so tight... nghh..." The way he muttered it, half a groan and half a breathless confession, made your stomach flutter.
A whimper escaped you, soft and broken, your lower lip trembling as you tried to speak through the haze. "K-Kenma... it's so big, I-"
Before you could finish, he picked up his pace, each movement making you lose more control over your voice. You couldn't stop the sounds slipping from your lips, and just as quickly, he silenced you with a kiss - rough, needy, possessive. "I like you better when you just moan for me," he mumbled against your lips, his voice low and commanding.
The words sent a shiver down your spine, making you melt into his touch.
You could feel the tension in your body rising fast, and by the way Kenma gripped you, he could feel it too. The way you clenched around him made him groan softly, his head dropping to your shoulder as he trailed kisses along your neck, leaving faint marks behind.
Normally, he would slow down - tease you, drag things out until you were begging for more. But this time, he couldn't hold back. His own release was close, and it showed in the way his thrusts grew more erratic, rocking the desk beneath you as he pushed deeper.
"Fuck... baby..." His voice was husky, strained, filled with urgency as he buried himself in you. "I'm really close..."
You couldn't hold back your own moans any longer. The intensity of his movements, the weight of his body against your back, the sound of his voice — it was all too much. You didn't care if anyone could hear, if anyone walked by. All that mattered was him.
Kenma's fingers tightened their grip on your hips, his forehead pressed to yours as he pushed you both toward the edge. His heart was racing, his breath ragged in your ear, and you could feel the tension winding tighter and tighter.
"Kenma... please." you whimpered, your voice trembling as you clung to him, your body shaking from the overwhelming sensation.
He groaned softly at the sound of his name falling from your lips, his movements never faltering. He could feel how close you were — he always knew your body better than you did.
And though his usual control would have him drawing things out, this time he couldn't stop. His release was so close, right there, and he didn't want to hold back.
Twenty minutes in, and he already had you falling apart twice. But still, he kept going, chasing that final high — for both of you.
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
Kenma's forehead rested against your back, his breath hot and uneven as you both tried to steady yourselves.
His fingers traced slow, soothing patterns under your skirt, a stark contrast to the urgency from moments before. There was a softness in his gaze now, something tender beneath the layers of intensity that still lingered in the air between you.
"Are you okay?" he murmured quietly, his voice softer, more familiar. The concern in his tone made your heart ache in the best way, and you nodded, lips curling into a faint smile.
"I'm okay," you whispered, though your voice still trembled slightly from the aftershocks, your body now fully resting in the desk in a weak attempt of catching your breath.
Kenma's lips twitched into a small smile at your answer. He wasn't always great with words, but his actions said enough. His hands lingered on your hips, steadying you before before turning you around, facing each other, his forehead brushing yours in a quiet moment of calm.
For a while, neither of you spoke. The silence was comfortable, filled only with the sound of your slowing breaths and the faint creak of the desk beneath you. His thumbs rubbed lazy circles over your skin, grounding both of you as you melted into each other. "I wasn't too rough, was I?" he asked after a moment, his voice quieter, almost hesitant. It wasn't like him to ask, but there was something different in the way he looked at you now — more vulnerable, more open.
You shook your head, cupping his face gently. "No... it was perfect," you said softly, and you meant it.
Kenma sighed in relief, his shoulders relaxing as he leaned into your touch.
His lips pressed a lingering kiss to your palm before he pulled you close again, wrapping his arms around you like he couldn't bear to let go just yet. "You make me feel things I never thought l'd want," he admitted quietly, his voice almost shy. "I've never... wanted someone like this before."
The honesty in his words made your chest tighten, and you couldn't help but smile as you pressed a kiss to his cheek.
"I'm not going anywhere," you whispered against his skin. "You don't have to be afraid of wanting me."
Kenma's arms tightened around you, his face buried in the crook of your neck. His heart was pounding against yours, steady and strong.
What you both thought would be a peaceful moment didn’t last nearly as long as you had hoped. For a brief second, you let yourselves forget that you were still on school grounds, thinking you could steal a quiet moment together. But reality quickly came crashing back in the form of a loud, obnoxious voice that both of you knew all too well.
"KENMAAAAAA... Y/N!" Kuroo’s voice echoed through the hallways, sharp and unmistakable as he called out for you two. It was impossible to ignore. You exchanged a glance, both of you groaning internally.
"Come on, Y/N, I trusted you!" Kuroo’s voice whined from further down the hall, his footsteps growing louder as he approached.
"Shit," Kenma muttered, clearly irritated. He quickly pulled away from you, his eyes darting around in panic. "We should hurry," he added, his tone serious now.
Both of you scrambled to adjust yourselves. Kenma straightened his uniform with a quick tug at his collar, while you did the same at your skirt. You couldn’t help but glance at Kenma, biting your lip in a mix of amusement and slight concern.
"Do I have sex hair?" you asked, half joking but also genuinely curious, Kenma paused for a split second, giving you a once-over before shrugging. "Hmm... maybe just a little," he said nonchalantly, brushing his fingers through your hair to tame it.
"Great," you muttered, pushing your hair back into place as the sound of Kuroo’s voice drew closer. You had to think fast before he found you both in the hallway, and judging by the way Kenma was glancing nervously in the direction of the noise, he was already calculating your next move.
You both braced yourselves for what would surely be an uncomfortable encounter, wondering if this "moment of peace" was truly ever meant to be.
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu smut#haikyuu!! smut#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!! x reader#kenma kozume#kenma kozume x reader#kenma kozume smut#haikyuu kenma kozume#haikyuu!! kenma kozume#haikyuu kenma kozume x reader#haikyuu!! kenma kozume x reader#smut#minors dni#thought up by rin#kenma#kenma smut
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I don't think I've ever left work at 6pm before
#crazy#but like i regret so much not getting maya involved more#like not teaching her more things idk#just most of what i do is admin - like filing papers and real boring stuff and maya wanted to do more accounting stuff#i can't remember where i was going with this post I'm sorry my boss just rang me#yeah idk i mean when Jenette left i just slowly slowly fell more behind with stuff until my brain just frazzled#by the time maya started i just felt already under pressure and felt like i didn't have time to train her in everything i do#felt like i barely had time to teach her ASIC and ATO correspondence ugh
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how tartaglia reacts when you're drunk and don't recognize him
tartaglia x gn!reader
part 2 is now here
sfw, drunk reader, angst, some fluff, reader has been hurt in prev relationships
A/N: i don't usually post stuff like this hehe, idk what changed my mind to!! hope you enjoy🤭
You had told him if you didn't come home before 2, he should probably come pick you up.
"Hey, you're here!" Hu Tao beams at Tartaglia.
"Thanks for watching them," he grins and gestures to you sitting at the counter.
"Yeah, dude, of course."
Tartaglia stares at you for a little while. He still can't get over how pretty you are, the curve of your nose, the ways your eyes kiss in the corners. Your hair looks surprisingly neat for someone who's drunk. Your expression is distant, finger trailing along the edge of the glass. You seem to be drinking vodka? He thought you didn't like vodka.
Sliding an arm around your shoulders, he leans to whisper in your ear, "Hey, pretty, you ready to go?"
You leap back into the present.
Looking puzzled, you push his arm off of you, saying, "Please don't call me that."
He blinks, a ghost of a smile still on his face. "Haha... what?"
Their faces mirror each other in confusion.
"I'm not going home with you, I have a boyfriend," you say, turning back to the half filled glass.
It clicks in Tartgalia's head, and a teasing grin forms. "A boyfriend, huh? Can I fight him for you?"
"You'd lose," you reply flatly, deadpan.
Dropping himself into the seat next to you and propping up his cheek, he says, "Tell me about this boyfriend of yours."
He watches his lover's expression brighten, like you forgot the entire exchange that just happened.
"Oh, he's the sweetest," you gush immediately. "And he makes me laugh so much, and he's so lively and good with people, but he's so hardworking and stubborn and, ugh, he's so beautiful. How is it possible to be so beautiful?"
His heart is about to explode all over Hu Tao's kitchen counter. His mind can't believe it, he's the reason your face is a beautiful, dreamy, rambling mess.
And you're not done. "I don't deserve him," you say, "I wish I could do something for him, but he always says I don't have to."
Because you don't have to, my dove, Tartaglia thinks. You're doing more than enough already.
Your expression suddenly snaps. "Shit. I'm a terrible person. I need to go home."
Tartaglia snaps out of his own trance in alarm. "Why?"
"He's at home now, and I'm out here getting wasted." You rub your face and search for your bag and phone.
"Woah, hey, you're drunk," he holds you by the shoulders, "I'm taking you home."
"Just because you're literally gorgeous doesn't mean you get to touch and take home random people!" You smack his hands off of you, again. Tartaglia's not sure if he should cry or laugh.
You cover your mouth in surprise at your own words. "Holy fuck, I'm a terrible person," you whisper. "Am I allowed to call someone who isn't my boyfriend gorgeous?"
He's convinced alcohol makes your brain overthink twice as fast as it usually does.
He also thinks it's a dumb question. Have I given them the impression they can't speak their mind?
He thinks it's okay. "Of course you are," he tells you instead, frowning. "He's not a good boyfriend if you have to be allowed to do something."
"No, he's a great boyfriend!" you say instantly. "I just-" You cut yourself off with a sigh and chew on your fingernail. There's a loud thumping in his heart as he waits for you to continue.
"I never know about these things," you say finally. "I feel like he never really tells me how he truly feels. I don't know if there's something I do that actually bothers him. And I'm..." You rub your nose bridge. "I'm scared to ask."
Tartaglia is quiet for a long moment. What he has cleverly deduced from this is that his lover is scared of him. All pride he'd felt earlier from making you swoon is now replaced by a sick feeling of self hatred.
"Maybe there's just nothing you do that really bothers him," he suggests softly, trying to lighten the mood.
Your expression turns glum. Fuck, was that the wrong thing to say? He mentally kicks himself.
"That can't be right," you sigh. "When I have nightmares, he always wakes up to comfort me. I'm pretty sure that pisses him off. And he always says it's okay too, but-" you blink rapidly, like blinking away tears. Tag winces.
"But then he... he takes longer in the shower, adds more caffeine to his coffee. And- and he'll eat less of the breakfast I make him."
"Oh," he says smartly, running out of things to say. He should've paid more attention to the little things, knowing that of course you would.
You shake your head and squeeze your slightly glassy eyes shut. After mumbling to yourself, "stop oversharing to strangers" twice, you put the cork back in the vodka bottle and set your glass in Hu's sink after pouring it down the drain.
"Anyway," you turn to him when you're done, "goodnight, I guess. Thanks for listening?"
"I'll walk you home," he offers again, softly.
You hesitate. Of course you hesitate.
"You're drunk," he reminds you. "I'm sure your boyfriend won't mind as long as you get home safe."
You give in. You let him put his coat around your shoulders, but you don't put your hands through the sleeves.
Halfway home, you just stop walking.
"Love?" Tag tilts his head at you. "Darling, what's wrong?"
You blink a few times. "Tartaglia?"
He grins. "Yes, hi. You recognize me now?"
You blink again. Then a smile starts to spread, and you forget the reason for your daze. You put your arms into the sleeves of his coat. "Yes," you say sheepishly. "Hey, you."
A hand is held out for him to hold.
Their talk can wait for next morning.
sorry if tartaglia is a little ooc! thank you for reading 🫶 might post a part two where he comforts you about it?
#tartaglia x reader#tartaglia x y/n#tartaglia x you#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin x you#childe x reader#childe x you#tartaglia#genshin angst#x reader
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hi love! i'd like to req emily smut, maybe a little more on the rough side if you'd be comfortable with that, where she gets jealous over reader and shows that through sex
if you want something less vague, it could be when reader brings emily lunch to her office and morgan keeps flirting with her, leading to some action in emily's office
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I'll be doing these two together cause why not. I hope you don't mind! thanks for requesting, and I hope you liked it!!
jealousy - Emily Prentiss x fem!reader
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summary: see the asks, it's a mix of both, it kind of took a turn, but i hope you still enjoy it! tw: jealousy, a very poor try at dom Emily, fingering, breast play?, idk tws are so hard once you've finished writing🥲, i think that's it lmk if i'm missing smth a/n: no idea if there's a way for me to link both asks here, someone lmk if there is
It's only 8.00 am when you enter the police station, two bodies in the past 12 hours required the early hours, everyone had to be focused, your mind had to be only in one place. However, this wasn't the case for all the people on that room.
The local police officer at the head of the case had some other things in his mind.
He starts by boldly checking you out, looks at you up and down, stopping and staring at the short tank top you were wearing, which makes you uncomfortable enough to cover yourself with your arms as much as you can.
The look your girlfriend sends to him doesn't go unnoticed to you, you start to believe she will set him on fire just with her stare, she places herself covering your body to shake his hand, which she gripes a bit too harder than the usual.
If you didn't know her any better, you would say she is jealous.
But there was just no way, right? Emily Prentiss doesn't get jealous, she's too confident for that, she has you so well wrapped around her finger, she doesn't need to be jealous. Right?
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
"so you think this... unsub like you call him, could be on a killing spree because of his mother?" the agent asks you, staring at the last picture you just sticked to the board with a puzzled look.
"we're positive, we've seen this modus before, it's a clear pattern" you explain
"ugh, so talking about mommy issues" you can't help the little snicker that scapes your lips.
He looks triumphant, fully believes he's got you under his spell. He couldn't be more wrong.
The familiar hand that slides behind you on your lower back makes you jump, Emily comes around you, standing closer than she usually does.
"hey, what were you talking about?" she asks, tilting her head.
"oh, nothing just the case" you say, unbothered.
"just the case huh?" you turn your head to see how she's staring at him, as he walks away from you both.
"Em? what is it?" you ask suspicoisly.
"nothing, i just don't understand, what could be so funny if you were just talking about the case..." she says sarcastically
"oh my god" you try to keep your voice down, but the excitement is still noticeable "oh my god, Emily, you're jealous!"
"what? What do you mean I'm jealous?" her voice a couple octaves higher, making it so obvious to you she's lying.
"that's not even a real answer!" you say.
"ugh..." she lets out one of those little sounds she always makes when she knows she's been caught, you think it's adorable.
"ok, so maybe... maybe I just... don't like the way he looks at my girlfriend, so sue me!" she tries defending herself, but you couldn't take it seriously for your life, you find it adorable, the slight pink tinting her cheeks, her reassuring hand still resting on your lower back.
"Emily, c'mon, you know i love you" you kiss her cheek, she kisses you back but still doesn't look so convinced.
The thing is, you could not be any less attracted to that man, there was no way in the world you would find his flirting any appealing, but the idea of teasing Emily sounds too exciting.
A little fun never hurt anyone, right?
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
"...hellooo, earth to Prentiss?"
Morgan waves a hand in front of Emily’s face and she’s brought back to reality.
"what?" she asks.
"i said, could you please put your frown away, you're scaring Reid" Spencer doesn't even hear the comment, too focused on the case file to even pay attention to the conversation that was taking place right beside him.
"my frown is just where it has to be, thank you" she says raising an eyebrow at that.
Derek gives a scoff, and Rossi chuckles at the whole stupidity of the situation. “If y/n can’t feel your stare burning a hole in her back, when she turns and sees you, she’s sure gonna think you're planning a murder.”
"i might just be" she mutters
"I think I know what's going on" Rossi intervenes "she isn't looking at y/n" he explains pointing at you "I think someone might be jealous"
You are only a few feet away, discussing your last findings with the detective, trying to laugh at every little thing he says, making sure Emily is watching.
"I'm not jealous" she defends "she is so clearly not interested, but what if she needs me to step in?" her attempt to make up a good excuse isn't good enough for any of them to buy it
"if that helps you, but all i can hear is jealousy" a big, cocky smile spread on Morgan's face, it's only making her angrier
"c'mon, or we will too have to face the consequences of the territorial monster of jealousy when it explodes" Rossi says, dragging Morgan away
"yeah, mark your territory" Morgan laughs, while Emily gives him the finger "go get her lover!"
It's your loud chuckle that draws the line for her. When you finally get away from the persistent officer, you turn to see Emily isn't there anymore, taking your phone you see 2 new message from her.
From Em💕: you better knock your shit off baby.
From Em💕: That's it. You're so in for it later.
That one makes your heart throb, it shortly makes you wonder if you had taken it too far. This was not gonna end well for you.
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Hotch decides to call it for the day, sending you off to start fresh in the morning, when a male voice you had heard enough already, calls your name
"Agent, I was wondering if you would be in for a drink with me?" he asks, eyeing you up and down yet again.
You are so sure you would find it just as disgusting if you weren't so gay, and so in love with your girlfriend.
"oh, sorry but no, actually, I-" a much more familiar female voice interrupts you "she's with me" Emily says.
He can't believe his eyes, Emily wraps her arm around your waist pulling you close to her body "hi babe" she says, kissing your lips, you return the kiss, a bit amused at her jealousy, but loving the possessiveness she was showing.
"Sorry, you were saying?" she asks, the man still open-mouthed, he can't bring himself to even speak.
"nothing... ugh, good night, agents" he dismisses you, and walks away defeated.
Emily and you head out of the bullpen, her arm still securely wrapped around your waist, she slides her hand on your back pocket, grabbing a handful of your ass possessively, making you chuckle.
"wanna talk about it?" you ask her innocently
"oh we are gonna be doing a bit more than talking you and me"
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Emily doesn't even leave time for the door to close, and you have a split second to register your thoughts before she closes the door and walks over in one long stride and slams you into the wall.
Her mouth attacks yours in a hungry, desperate kiss, her tongue invading in a fight for dominance, that you just let her win, she is determined to have her way with you, and you aren't going to stop her.
She wasted no time in getting her hands on you, roughly rubbing her hands over your exposed skin. You, however, delicately placed your arms around her neck and when you both pulled apart to breathe.
"what's wrong, Em?" you ask her, breathlessly
"you know what? For starters, I didn't like the way he was looking at you" she starts, her breath warm against your skin, she lowers her head getting your neck, kissing it so sweetly you feel you could melt
she is quick to find your pulse point, mouth-opened kisses all over your skin, she nips all over your spot, which makes you moan
"but then imagine my surprise when i saw you, flirting back" her hand finds her way underneath your shirt, reaching for your breast, she finds no more resistance as you aren't wearing a bra, your other nipple peaking through your shirt in excitement.
She uses her free hand to grip your ass, you jump at the feeling whimpering on her mouth, her closeness only making you more excited.
"but you don't like him, do you, baby?" she asks, teasing you, she leaves a soft kiss on your lips
"he wouldn't stand a chance, we both know men aren't really your type" Emily says lowly, nipping at the tender spot behind your ear.
She slips her leg between yours, a soft moan escapes your lips.
"so you just wanted to make me jealous" you're too deep in her dominance to even register anything, letting out soft whimpers every time her thumb brushes against the nub and grips the soft skin of your breast
"god... Emily" you let out, as Emily pulls your thighs apart with her hand.
"you know, baby, if you wanted me to fuck you, you could've just asked" she attacks your neck again, sucking hard enough to leave purple marks you couldn't care any less about now.
Emily presses her fingertips against the crotch of your jeans "your clothes. Take them off or I'll rip them off" she commands, taking a step back from you, leaving too little space to maneuver.
You knew better than to tease her when she was like this. A shiver of excitement runs through your back, and you comply.
You take your jeans off then, your shirt, quickly throwing them somewhere far on the room.
You move to kiss her again, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her in for a kiss, but she doesn't let you, instead she grabs you by your thighs, lifting you up.
You wrap your legs around her waist, she carries you to bed, laying you down just harshly enough to make you even more excited for whats to come.
"you are gonna do exactly what i ask you to tonigh, you know why, baby?" you hold your breath, you're not sure if she actually wants you to answer, but you try nonetheless "because I'm yours"
Your answer seems to satisfy her, as she begins kissing her way down your body, taking special care to nip at your collarbone and stomach to leave more marks than the one's on your neck.
The soft cloth of her shirt rubs against your skin and as if just now realising she was still dressed, you grab the hem of her shirt and help her take it off, throwing it somewhere in the vicinity of the room, like you had done with your own clothes.
And not a moment later, she is back to kissing your body, stopping suddenly when she reached the hemline of your underwear.
Her hand navigates down them, she dips low enough to collect your arousal on her fingertips before rubbing your clit forcefully. Your body reacts immediately, curling forward. "Em!" you moan
"what's wrong baby? Cat got your tongue? use your words, if you want me to stop the teasing, just say it"
"fuck...Em, please, I'm yours, please Emily, yours" you confirm, closing your eyes and letting your hips rock against her hand.
“Who are you this wet for?” Emily demands, nipping at your earlobe.
"just you" you whimper, desperation starting to build in your lower stomach
"that's right baby" the cocky smile on her lips makes your eyes roll. You obviously loved slow, romantic love making with your grilfriend, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't love this side of her just as much.
She continued to move her fingers inside of you and you met each thrust but you almost fell apart when she pressed her thumb against your clit and rubbed hard.
She uses her free hand to play with your breast, you let out a gasp when her tongue moves over it spurred you on and she begins to gently suck on it while her hand still caressed your other breast.
You melt into the mattress at her words. "let go, c'mon baby, I got you" you cum on the spot, as she fucks you through your orgasm, she let's you ride your high.
Emily lays down beside you as you come down from the climax, she kisses your lips softly, lovingly this time, less urgent.
"you know i didn't mean any of it right? I was just playing with you, i love you. He didn't stand a chance" you try to clarify
"yes baby, i know, i love you too, i wasn't so harsh with you right?" she asks concerned. Sometimes you can't believe how Emily's mood changes so fast, from all dominating, incredibly sexy, to concerned, soft girlfriend.
"Em, it was perfect" you say, grabbing her face and pecking her lips "you are perfect" you kiss her again.
"well, good, because we're just getting started, i'm not sure you've learned your lesson yet" she grins.
"Like i said, I'm all yours, agent Prentiss" she sits to straddle you, and you grab her face to pull her in for another kiss.
Emily caresses your neck with her thumb, looking at the purple marks she had previously left "this will be hard to cover tomorrow"
"who says I'm covering them?"
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Sitting on your usual spot on the plane, you lay behind Emily's amr, resting your head on her shoulder as she reads.
You aren't oblivious of the look on Morgan's face, right in front of you.
The shirt you chose had your neck and cleavage all on display, small and big purple marks cover your skin.
He stares bluntly at you, a cheeky smile covering his face "So y/n, looks like you and Prentiss had yourselves a good night. Care to share?"
Emily gives him the finger.
"in your dreams" you say.
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
wow! a lot longer than i expected it to be! finishing this one gave me a headache so please like and reblog if you liked it, and as always feedback is greatly appreciated! <333 reqs still open as always!
#emily prentiss#wlw#criminal minds x reader#emily prentiss imagine#lesbian#emily prentiss lesbian#lesbian pride#wlw fanfic#wlw smut#emily prentiss fanfiction#emily prentiss fluff#emily prentiss smut#emily prentiss x you#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#emily prentiss x y/n#criminal minds x you#emily prentiss x reader smut#emily prentiss x female reader#criminal minds smut#emily prentiss wlw#emily prentiss oneshot#Emily Prentiss x reader#emily prentiss headcanons
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