#a tiny part of me is considering changing my plans with b and being borderline dishonest but also i know that
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If you can be arsed with all those tags and fancy giving me brutal advice read away haha
#something is definitely going wrong for me because I want to go out tomorrow night with my mate who is thinking about getting a bag in and#and that lowkey sounds like a lot of fun to me and i wanna chip in but like i think B wants to come out and if he does i cant join in with#my pal because B would very much be against me doing that and like ugh#he doesnt even drink at the moment and i feel like out of nowhere hes matured but in all the wrong ways#like in none of the ways ive been wanting him to for the last few years#but in the ways which mean our nights out arent compatible anymore#and i know im the problem for wanting to be nihilistic hedonistic whatever#but i feel like im getting back the bit of my early 20s covid and working in care robbed me of#and hes already had his phase of that sort of stuff but like would be annoyed with me if i was doing coke around him and stuff#im definitely being selfish and should just say no to the drugs and like be a good girlfriend but#ahhhhhh idk if i cant have christmas like and i didn't get christmas eve at the pub then i kinda want boxing day at the pub with my mates#ugh#a tiny part of me is considering changing my plans with b and being borderline dishonest but also i know that#doing that is going to make whatever problem there is between us worse?#ultimately i know that im morally in the wrong here tbh and also like a bit of a loser
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