#ugh i want to write it so bad now BUT OBLIGATIONS!!!!

[snottly]

domestic poolverine, my beloved

[proposalanonaita]

FINE.

The date is fast approaching (seven and a half weeks left), I've had sufficient quantities of Malbec, and I'm realizing that whoever suggested that writing my vows would be MUCH more harrowing than talking about my feelings to internet nobodies.....had a fair point; I should at least attempt to put it all to words before I write the real drafts.

Ugh.

I should probably start by stating that I'm WELL aware of who I am. Rest assured, I know that I'm stunningly abrasive. And controlling. And petty, conniving, misanthropic, or whatever other adjectives you've been calling me in the tags (yes, I DID read those, and it IS weird of so many of you to be calling for my divorce. I thought you were supposed to be nicer than I am?).

All this to say, I've always been cognizant of being an acquired taste. Partly because I've always BEEN an acquired taste. I tone it down in public, and in most of my personal relationships, but I am, down to my core, a Mean Mother Fucker.

With partners before my fiancé, I had to make myself more palatable to stay together. The men I dated were FAR too nice, and snipping with them at all felt like I was a heavyweight champion facing off against a toddler. So I reigned it in. It worked, but no matter how well things were going on paper, I didn't feel like I was myself with any of them.

I was even less myself with The Shithead. I'm NOT getting into the entirety of that particular tire fire here, you little freaks already know FAR too much about me and I won't have you tagging the gory details of the worst part of my life with #bob the builder/fuzzy wuzzy or whatever you're into.

He was horrible to me, I turned dangerously timid, I'm lucky I had enough Mean left in me to get the fuck out. He's changed enough by now that I considered inviting him to the wedding, it was bad enough back then I'm very glad I didn't. Enough said.

...I'm talking quite a bit up here because I still hate having to say any of the next part. Call me an emotionless villain for that if you want to, I am far too employed and 30 to care very much.

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

So.

The thing is, there are people that KNOW me, and there are people who LIKE me. My parents know me, and I've never doubted they love me, but that's not LIKING me as a person. That's a contractual obligation of birthing me. My friends like me, some even like me when I'm catty, but I need to be careful to hold myself back, at the risk of losing them. At best, people loved "me", not ME.

For decades, this was just the way the world was. It was a fact of life- The sky is blue, I'm secretly unlovable, the Earth goes around the sun.

And then, against all odds, I found my fiancé, who manages to do both.

He sees ALL of me. Every square inch, every fleeting thought, every horrible little quirk of my rotten personality. And THEN, as if that weren't bad enough, he turns around and ENJOYS it all. He's not just tolerant of my least palatable traits, he's delighted. The more I show him, the more he likes.

It's awful. I'd say he stole my heart, but that sounds too pleasant. It's more like my heart is a cockroach he could squish at any moment, and I trust him not to, and I'm just supposed to wake up every morning and do the dishes and go to work as if this doesn't mean we're clearly orbiting Saturn. The sky is PURPLE now. What the fuck.

He could at least do me the favor of being completely, 100% perfect, because then I could blame his total lapse in judgement on that, but NO. He's a BASTARD.

I'm engaged to a big sweaty idiot who annoys me on purpose. He's terrible with his money. He tries to take me on HIKES, and JOGS, and CAMPING TRIPS. His taste in every single art form known to man is GARBAGE, he's constantly leaving his dirty socks on the floor, and he's such a bad driver I'm amazed he still has a license.

I've told him all of that to his face, and I've MEANT it, and he's just called me a bitch and asked me what I want for dinner. He knows that I'm unlovable, agrees that all those parts of me are in here, and then loves me anyway.

He loves me. He LOVES me. He loves ME.

I don't know what I'm meant to do with it all, but there's clearly SOMETHING wrong with his brain, so I guess I'll have to keep him, if only for his sake.

[aperfectlylesbian]

Agathario's kids dialogues prompts:

-

(I had a lot of fun writing this, I have a lot of ideas about my fanfic and this is a way to share it with you. I haven't posted it yet, I'll probably do it only in November. In the meantime, enjoy these little pieces. It's my own view, but I thought flipping some things around would be funny and it made me think a lot about certain possibilities.)

Note: That's all based on my own fanfiction. Kind an epilogue thing.

Pregnancy dialogues:

“So... you're going to have a child?” “We’re going.” “Oh. Okay. Wait what?!”

“Look, if you don't want it, I can just, you know, make it disappear.” “No! No way! It's mine too!”

“So... no true form for nine months?” “Unfortunately.”

“What if it's a boy?”

“What if it's a girl?”

“NO BABY SHOWER.”

“I'm just going to collect a soul, Agatha.”

“You'll do a good job.” “Thanks.”

“I have a human growing inside of me, I'm not fine.”

“It's a cozy place. A few runes here and there and, there you go, home sweet home!”

“I feel so emotional, I need a slap to stop me crying. Sweetheart!”

“Stomach bug?” “Worse, morning sickness.”

“I'll take that.” “Hey!” “No knife playing for you!”

“My boobs hurt, I can't stop crying and I'm horny all the time, which isn't so bad, but I'm sweating in places I didn't even know humans had sweat glands!”

“Come home to me when you're done.” “Home? I like the sound of that.”

“I know it's the hormones talking, but you’re pissing me off.”

“I'm in the garden, and I don't want to be disturbed!”

“Oh, the neutral face of displeasure. What have I done this time?”

“Nothing fits me.” “Don’t say that, you look fantastic, cariño!”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY BABIES?”

“Troublesome twins, mi vida!”

“Agatha, sweetheart, I love you, but if this kids gets your hips I will murder you.”

“Aww, they already look so much like me!” “Agatha! They're symphoning magic! From the womb!”

“I'd say I'm officially pregnant now.” *patting her growing belly gently*

“I've never seen you sleep for so long. I almost thought you were dead but you're Death, so.”

“I'm pregnant, not fashion-senseless. I refuse to wear these clothes.”

“You have been throwing up for hours, I'll make you some tea. Maybe it help.”

“It's enough you trying to kill me sometimes, I don't need the kids on the list.”

“WHAT'S THIS?!” “... a body?” “Not that! Look at you!”

"I don't even know how to change a diaper!"

“Kicking already?!”

“You're clingy.” “As you used to say, It's just the hormones.”

“Can we try the 'having sex to try and induce labor' thing?”

“I'm excited to see you changing a lot of dirty diapers in the near future.”

“I have stretch marks now.” “Keep them, looks good on you.”

“Nicky would love to be a big brother.”

“Using my sentences against me?” “Feels good, doesn't it?!”

“I'm craving sunflower seeds.” “Hun, you just had a huge cherry tart.” “I don't see your point, Aggie.”

“I have to do my job, Agatha!” “Fuck your job! You're carrying our offspring! Think about them! About us!”

“Do you think these babies were a mistake?”

“I think, this could be a second chance for us.”

“Do you think they'll be afraid of me? The real me?” “They're going to love you completely, cariño, just like I do.”

“Winifred? Circe? Agnes?” “Ugh, definitely none of those.”

“Since when do you paint? Wait- that's me? Uh, I look big.”

“What's the reaction of the souls you collect seeing Lady Death with a seven-month bump?”

“I'm not obligated to socialize with other pregnant women every time I go out! Why they don't stop talking too me?!”

“The bump is in the way, we can't have sex.”

“Your kids have been kicking me all day!” “Oh, so they're mine now?”

“How many babies are we having? There is enough clothes for a 100 of them.” “It never hurts to be prepare.”

“I think I'm in labor.”

“You're doing great, cariño, great.” “You aren't helping me!”

“Make it stop!” “Shh, you're almost, they're almost here.”

“Hiya, hun. It's me, your mama.”

“Look at these fingers, sweetheart, how can they be real? They're so, so tiny. Is it normal?” “It's normal, love, twins are just that tiny. Here, hold her.”

Babies/Toddlers dialogues:

“They look identical to you!” “I don't know what you're talking about, that mouth isn't mine.”

“Mami’s got you.”

“Who’s the cutest babies in the world? You are! Yes, you are!”

“I don't remember you pushing this babies out.”

“Oh we do make cute babies.”

“How many coffees is that?” “You try having two babies who refuse to sleep.”

“I'm not afraid of anything.” *twins start crying at the same time* “Maybe one thing.”

“Take a break. I’ll stay up with them.”

“So… the girls are fine, I want you to know that first, they're absolutely fine.” “What did you do?”

“If they won’t stop crying in a minute I think I am going to start crying.”

“Wakey wakey sunshine, it's your turn to change one of them.”

“I’ve never heard her cry like that..” “I tried to keep her calm but, she's missing you.”

“You have your mama's eyes, muñequita.”

“And she stopped me and asked me if I was going to take the girls to be baptized. Can you believe it?!”

“I took a baby's soul today. She was months old, like our girls.”

“Look how cute, they're crawling!”

“I hate sleep. I hate feeling sleepy. I hate sleeping.” “Yes, yes, cariño, now go to bed.”

“They're smiling...” “I told you, they'd never be afraid of you.”

“Stop wiggling! I need to get you changed!”

“If you lay a hand on my child you will lose the hand.”

“Skull lovers. Really take after your mama.”

“Hush little baby, don’t say a word, mama has a headache and your crying hurts.”

“Are you day drinking?” “It’s lemonade, not whiskey.”

“Please don’t vomit on me. Please don’t vomit on me. Please don’t… You vomited on me.”

“You're dripping blood everywhere!” “Sorry, is there a place you'd prefer I stand and bleed?” “The bathroom. It's easier to clean up and to keep the girls away.”

“Don’t give your mama too much trouble.”

“Nah-ah-ah, do not eat that, hun!”

“No daycare, Agatha, there's no way! It's the third time in the week that she ripped out an animal's soul, imagine a child!”

“Whiskey, brandy, wine or water?” “Pour me a glass of water and I may be one leaving this time.”

“Come on little one, walk over to mama!”

“Mami, ma-mi.” “Mami!” "... Agatha, she said mami first!"

“Throw your food around one more time and there will be consequences!”

“How did she get there?” “Get down from there little lady!”

“Come on, hon-” “No.” “Pero, muñequita-” “No, mami!”

“I already want one more.” “Let's see how we're handling these two.”

“Te amo!” “... Did she just?”

“Don’t, don't run, honey, you'll fall– I warned you.”

“Di mami, ma-mi.” “Mami!” “Eso, muy bueno, mi chiquita!”

“Cariño, she's unwittingly torturing a squirrel's soul again.”

“Fuck!” “Fuck.” “Nooo. Don’t repeat that, it’s a naughty word. Your mama won't like it.” “... Fuck!”

“Please never become one of the angry teens in the sitcoms.”

“Sweetheart, catch her! She ran away from the bathtub again!”

 “That's a grown-up grimoire, sweetie, why don’t you hand this to me. Yea, that's right, carefully-”

“Mami's bony face!” “Ey, chiquita- Stop laughing, Agatha.”

“Okay, time to sleep.” “ ’nother story?” “Sweetie, I just read you a story.” “Witch's Road!” “Witch's Road!” “Ugh fine, you win, the story or the ballad?”

“You know, i’m kind of surprised your children aren’t seriously injured at this point with you two being their parents.” “Haha, yeah… yet.” “What do you mean not yet?”

“My daughters are more talented in magic than me and they're only two years.”

“It’s your turn, go on.” “They’re your daughters before four o’clock in the morning.”

“My little girl’s better than yours!” “It's not a competition.” “Who said?”

“Mama! Look at me!” “Yes, hun, wh- WHAT THE FUCK?”

“Girls, let go of my dagger, mama won't like this.”

“Fine, fine, rock, paper, scissors to see who has to go calm down her.”

“I don't know how I survived with you cooking.” “Is this how you thank me?” “For burnt pancakes? Yes.”

“Was she crying, because of this?!” “Looks like someone's attached to mami's bony face.”

“Purple!” “Yeah, muñequita, it's mommy's watercolor, spread on the couch.”

“I've caught her watching you when you're outside and I think she's been shy about asking you to take it with you to the garden. You could probably let her help you with your garden.” “She’s just two, Aggie. What if she eats dirt, or worse, the flowers?”

“Agatha, I swear— If we have a child while the others are in diapers I will murder you.” “Why are you saying that?” “I'm feeling something, probably maternal intuition.”

It's probably not what many of you expected, but I always think it's cute to imagine Rio, who's Lady Death, Death itself, giving birth, you know?

Living all this confusion and mess that's pregnancy. It would be cute and funny, the effects of pregnancy on someone considered as powerful as Rio, all the dilemmas of motherhood, after all those centuries, after losing Nicky, and after the pain she and Agatha felt. It's not like I think pregnancy fixes or saves a relationship, that's not the baby's job, who has no responsibility for being there and existing, it's the parents' job to understand each other, and that's exactly what I wanted to explore with agathario here. A few domesticity years and a few adorable daughters.

This all takes place in 2009, and I'm still going to write about them during this period of pregnancy, and probably when the twins were little too.

-

AAA's full of angst but let's see the happy side of all!

We gained so much with them, and I LOVE this couple so much, they made history!

So let's enjoy a little and save our tears before the last episodes!

[pajarinwrites]

you could ask

➳ fem!reader x Dino

➳ wc: 2.7k

➳ TAGS: pwp; fluffy smut, smutty fluff MDNI, my dudes; it's so sweet tho kjsdiasejnasd

➳ WARNINGS: fucking(?) it's super fluffy though; fingering (f receiving), kissing, marking, petnames (babe, baby for her)

➳ AN: i continue to surprise in that dino is my least biased member except now that i wrote this, he might not be anymore; he's such a cutie ugh; also this RAN! AWAY! FROM! ME! it started as a drabble but 2.7k can under no circumstances be classified as a drabble. also there initially was supposed to be piv sex but then it got too long. i'll definitely write a continuation one-shot for this ugh. anyway, ENJOY!

also that's my fave photo of channie

You look up from your phone as your friend enters the lobby. He has his duffel bag thrown over his shoulder, wearing the usual cap, mask, sunglasses combo in public, in an effort to remain unrecognised.

“Hey,” you greet with a soft wave. He pulls off his sunglasses to reveal eyes crinkling with smiles. “Hey!” He replies back, pulling you into a short hug before calling the elevator.

“How was practice?”

“The usual. Except Hoshi-hyung was hungover.”

“Huh?” You ask, sure you must’ve misheard him. Chan laughs in reply.

“Yeah, he filmed that program with Youngji yesterday that you like watching.”

“And he didn’t tell me?” You ask in mock affront, one hand resting on your chest dramatically. Chan shrugs. “I guess he assumed I’d tell you. But I forgot.” He sticks his tongue out to you as you follow him to his apartment.

You pass Vernon and Dokyeom in the kitchen; they wave to you in greeting before you follow Chan into his room.

“Leave the door open, children!” Dokyeom screams after you, prompting your friend to scream a dry hahaha back and slam his door all the harder. “They’re not even funny,” he pouts, dropping onto his bed where you’ve already gotten comfortable.

“Ugh,” he groans as the climbs up to the headboard next to you. “What’s wrong?” You ask, looking at his tense expression.

“It’s fine, practice just kicked a little harder than I thought.”

“Are you still up for movie night? We can just move it if you’re too exhausted.”

“Of course not! I always have energy for you.” He smiles softly, scooting closer, resting one arm on his headboard behind you as if it did nothing to him. You cleared your throat, trying your hardest not to shuffle so he wouldn’t feel obligated to move his arm away again.

“What’ve you got saved on your laptop?” He asks as you pull it up and open Netflix.

“I mean, I’ve been dying to watch the Scream remake for a while…” You know his stance on horror movies. As expected, “ugh! Can’t we watch something cute and cozy that won’t make me pull a muscle from jump scares!”

“Unfair argument! First you say you’re up for movie night and when it comes to picking a movie you bring up the issue of your sore muscles!”

“Well I can’t just make ‘em magically disappear.”

“But you got to pick the movie the last, like, three times!”

“I’m not saying you can’t pick. I’m just saying pick a different one!”

“Nuh uh, I want this one.” He groans again, rolling his head.

“Okay, then what will you do about my sore muscles?”

“Me? Do you want me to massage your sore muscles for you? Since when are your sore muscles my fault or problem?”

He grins, and with how close his face is to yours, it’s doing all kinds of things to your heart. “If you want to watch Scream so bad, it is your problem…”

Oh, so that’s how it is, you think, realising he never expected you to make good on any muscle relief. Lee Chan knows damn well you hate massages unless you’re on the receiving end. The amount of times he’s given you one eclipses the times you have returned the favour, a grand total of zero times.

“Sure,” you smile sweetly, setting your laptop back down on the floor next to Chan’s bed. He stares at you, eyes wide as saucers. “Huh?”

You remove his arm from your shoulders and get up, motioning for him to lie down. If your best friend wanted to play a game of chicken with you, he absolutely could.

“Also, you obviously gotta take your shirt off.”

Instead of moving, Chan is sitting still as a statue, still staring at you as if your hair had spontaneously changed colour. You wondered if this was really all it was going to take but eventually he shuffles down on the bed. He shrugs off his tee and you pretend like you aren’t surreptitiously looking him up and down.

“Okay, but you gotta do it properly, “ he states as he rests his head on his arms.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You inquire as you get into position, positioning your left knee beside Chan’s body and swinging the other over so that you are straddling his butt.

“Just that you can’t quit after five minutes, and you can’t do it all softly.”

“Hmm,” you hum in agreement, “elbow grease.” Chan giggles in response, but it turns into a groan as soon as you dig your thumbs into the tops of his shoulders.

“You really aren’t holding back, huh?”

“I’ve been ordered to give it my all,” you reply, bearing down on one especially tight trapezius. Chan’s breath stutters under your ministrations and you’re glad he can’t see your face heat up. As your hands wander lower you feel like he’s tensing up more instead of less.

“Hey, relax,” you instruct, “this was your idea.”

Chan grumbles something into his pillow in reply but it only takes him a few more minutes and a few sounds that veer suspiciously into moan territory before he shrugs you off forcefully.

You let out a yelp of surprise as you flop down on the mattress next to him. “What was that for?”

“You did enough, we can watch your silly movie now.” He avoids your eyes and you can see that his face has turned red, but you try to blame it on the heat of the room and the fact that you just treated him like bread dough for fifteen minutes. As he sits back up against the headboard, he pulls the blanket over himself, his hands in his lap awkwardly.

“What are you doing?” You cock an eyebrow.

“Preparing to be scared to death,” he replies with a chuckle you believe was supposed to be light-hearted.

“It’s okay, I’ll protect you. You can hide behind me if you get scared,” you offer graciously. Chan rolls his eyes. “Just start the movie.”

You pull up your laptop and snuggle into your friend’s side. Chan fluffs up his pillows, one behind your back, one in his lap, and welcomes you into his arms again. You’ve watched movies in this position before, but today you’re restless. Chan seems to exude extra body heat today, and maybe it’s your wild imagination but his workouts have really started to pay off, and the feeling of his biceps pressing into your side distracts you more than you’d like to admit.

You stopped watching whatever is going on on screen several dozen minutes ago when you finally clear your throat. You’d been sneaking glances over at Chan for a while, his uncomfortable shifting, the suspiciously placed pillow. You had a hunch when he shrugged you off him earlier but the longer you sat next to him, having to endure his endless shuffling, the more convinced you were. Of course, you weren’t entirely unbothered by his presence either. The glimpse of his naked chest and back hadn’t left your mind, although you were hard-pressed to admit, that that sight had been the reason for your inability to focus. 

“It’s a little boring, isn’t it?”

“Huh?” He asks, turning his frightful eyes from the screen. You hit pause.

“The movie, Chan.”

“Boring isn’t the adjective I’d use, but sure. We can definitely watch something else.”

“We could do something else.” You smirk, shifting so you can face him fully. Bless him, his expression betrays nothing but confusion. He opens his mouth to ask what you’re on about but you beat him to it.

“Chan,” you sigh, “is this going to be a repeat of Seungkwan’s birthday party?”

“Huh?” He asked. But the fact that he had turned a shade redder let you know that he was very aware of what you were talking about.

“You know, when we were in the kitchen alone and you leaned in and I was waiting for you to finally kiss me? But then you chickened out the last second and pretended you had just wanted to grab the vodka from behind me?”

Chan blinks at your, your words evidently not quite processed yet. “You wanted me to kiss you?” You rolled your eyes.

“For someone with such a big head, you can be pretty stupid, you know that?”

“Well, how was I supposed to know? I can’t read your mind.” You lean in closer - resting your hand on his thigh - and take delight in the way his breath hitches.

“You can always ask.” You whisper. He moves in even closer, the pillow sliding off his lap and letting you see that you were right about your prior assumption. You bite your lip at the sight of the obvious tent in his sweatpants.

“Can I kiss you?” Chan asks, bringing your attention back to his face. He’s gorgeous, you think, in the half-light of his bedroom, his hair unstyled, his eyes shining. But he really isn’t going to budge if you don’t answer, it seems. “Yes, please,” you breathe.

His lips are on yours, softly, as if he can’t quite believe this is happening. His right hand is cradling your cheek. It makes you smile, wrap your arms around his neck, and pull him down with you. Chan let’s out another groan, catching himself with his left hand next to your head instead of letting his full weight crash into you, which coincidentally happens to be exactly what you wanted. You nudge his hand away, hoping for him to get the hint. Much to your chagrin, he pulls back, panting against your lips.

“What—“ you mean to ask but don’t get around to it when you see the dark, almost desperate shadow in his eyes.

“I can’t believe you’re real.” His gaze drops to your lips, he’s nipping at your lower lip, making his way down your jawline. You manage to hold out on him until he reaches your pulse point, attaching his lips to the sensitive skin and nibbling at it in a way that’ll definitely leave a mark makes you whimper. Right now you couldn’t care less.

“Chan,” you moan, “please…” You can feel him smirk but he complies with your unspoken wish, continuing his way downward.

“Can I take this off you?” He asks, tugging at you shirt. You look down at his eyes, blown out and looking at you like you created the universe.

“Only if yours comes off too,” you say, meaning to tease him. His shirt’s over his head and at the other end of his room before you can blink. “Better?” He smirks, usually you’d be careful not to stroke his ego too much, but right now all you can think about it tracing every ridge on the expanse of his body with your tongue. It’s so much more fun when you can look freely. It must show on your face because Chan leans forward, whispering, “You can eat me up later, baby. Right now it’s my turn.” You have half a mind to hold back your whimpers at the tone of his voice but at the end you’re just a human, not some saint, so you stand no chance against the carnal vices of the flesh.

Chan takes off your shirt so skilfully that a very unwelcome thought of possessiveness flashes through your mind but with how he looks at you (very much not like you threw on your oldest, most comfy sport bra) the evil little voice in your head stands no chance. There can’t be any lingering doubt over his feelings with the way he undresses you slowly, deliberately, with all the care in the world, makes you think he mistook you for a fragile piece of art. His eyes say the same, casting glances at your face again and again, questioning; like he’s ready to drop everything if you so much as breathe a word. You have to commend him, especially with how evident the tent in his sweats has been for the better part of this evening.

“Chan,” you whine, ripping him out of the worship of the skin on your tummy. He looks dazed already. “Please stop teasing.”

He smiles, “Am I teasing you? Sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to. You’re just so beautiful.”

You want to tell him off for being a sap but he starts kissing a straight line downwards from your navel and your words are caught in your throat.

His hands skitter up your thighs, making you shiver as he finally presses a digit to your core. He groans, “So wet for me already, love, you’ve soaked through your panties.”

“Looks like you have to take them off, then.” You smile and he obliges easily. It seems he’s really had enough of the teasing because he presses his thumb to you clit immediately, circling it. You moan his name as he slides one finger through your slick, “wanna touch you too.”

“Later, baby. Let me focus on you for now. Can I keep going?”

You mumble a pathetic Ohmygod yes please, that earns you a soft chuckle from him. He wastes no time in sliding a finger into you. Chan moans at the feeling of you wrapped around his fingers.

“Shit, babe,” is all you get out of him before his mouth is back on your skin, kissing up the insides of your thighs as he stretches you out on another finger. “Wanna come on my fingers, love?” You don’t trust your voice right now, so instead you nod vigorously. He stops testing the waters as his fingers and thumb speed up, spreading a familiar warmth in the pit of your stomach. He shifts his weight upwards and is hovering over you, never ceasing the motion of his fingers.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks softly.

“If you don’t, I’m leaving right now,” you barely manage to breathe out between pants. From the way Chan smiles at you, you can tell you must look at least as fucked-out as you feel. He chooses not to tease you and you silently thank him for it. Instead he just leans in, meeting your lips in a manner that is nothing like the soft, innocent kisses from before. He pushes his tongue past your lips, exploring your mouth as if he wanted to taste all of you. Just at that moment his fingers find that spot inside you that makes you see stars. You moan into the kiss, prompting him to mirror your sounds. Chan doesn’t let up on that spot, speeding up and hitting it again and again and again until the pressure becomes to much and the knot in your stomach snaps. He fucks you through your orgasm, leaving soft pecks all over your face until you’ve calmed down.

“Feeling better?” He asks. You’re forced to watch as he retrieves his fingers from your pussy, putting them in his mouth instead and licking them clean. He hums comfortably, “you taste so good, babe.”

You’re still staring at him, wide-eyed, trying to make sense of why the sight of your best friend licking his fingers clean of your essence is the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. He notices your state and his brows furrow.

“Hey, are you okay?” There’s real worry in his voice, so you nod in reassurance.

“I was just thinking that if this what I get for massaging your sore muscles a little, I’m definitely gonna start doing it more often.”

His eyes widen. “You wanna do this more often?” The disbelief in his voice makes you laugh in earnest. “Of course, in case you couldn’t tell, I had a lot of fun.” You’re unsure of your next sentence, but if you don’t say it now, you fear you’ll say it never, “and I like you. A lot.”

He has the dopiest grin on his face as he leans back down, giving you another sweet kiss. “In that case, let me take you out on a proper date before we do this the next time.” You cock an eyebrow.

“Chan, do you wanna be my boyfriend?” The man in question blushes, avoiding your eyes. “If that’s something you also want…”

You look at his expression, hopeful gaze lifting to catch yours. There’s a blush lingering on his cheeks, his hair all mussed up. You’ve never felt more comfortable with another person.

“Of course,” you reply, snaking one arm around his middle and pulling him close, “I’d love that, actually.”

[sacredthethreadgvf]

Sunshine On My Shoulders | Josh Kiszka x Reader

Warnings: SMUT!!! MINORS DNI! Josh being an asshole sorry, mentions of fearing thunderstorms, smoking the herb, fluff and angst..(if I missed any let me know)

Word Count: 11k+ get cozy friends

A/N: Hello. Hi. It has been SO long since I have had the motivation to sit down and write a fic but I wanted to share this little piece with you all. Who doesn't love a good friends to lovers trope with some spice in the mix? Go easy on me though, like I said it's been a little while since I have posted anything like this and it is so terribly edited…

Huge shoutout to @streamingcolors-gvf and @myfriendtheghost. Without either of you, I don't think this would have made it out of the dusty drafts in my google docs. I appreciate you both so very much. 

Enjoy.

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The squeaky wheels of the shopping cart you were pushing were beginning to annoy you. The dull beep of items being scanned tuned out in your ears as a white noise to the god awful rattle of this stupid cart you had. How did you always manage to get the one cart with the broken wheel every time you went to the store? You hate grocery shopping. Too much noise, too many people all scrambling around to load up carts with fresh produce and frozen dinners for their families, and the gaudy white lights, ugh! You figured since you loved people watching so much you would enjoy being nosey and stare into people's carts to see what they had, I mean you may have missed something good back in the bakery aisle for all you knew. But you hated being here. You would rather instacart your groceries, or have curbside pick up than to venture into a store if you didn't have to. 

But today was a last minute circumstance. A last minute circumstance for your best friend Josh. He had called you in a panic from a hotel room many states away a few days ago informing you that he had re hurt his already busted eardrum, and he had hurt it badly this time. Bad enough that he was coming home sooner than anticipated.He expressed to you over facetime how he felt he was helpless to take care of himself at times and for once, did not want to be left alone. So, he had asked you a favor. Deeming it the biggest favor he would ever ask of you and that he would pay you back at a later date to which you insisted against since it is what friends do for each other. Josh had asked you to come spend a few days with him so he could get settled back in at home. He had requested that you went to pick up some food for him on top of his medications that he needed to take for his ear. He had told you everything over the phone while you stood in your apartment and you tried your best to write everything down while he was rattling off specific ingredients for certain recipes. You had offered to make him his favorite soup for him that he had been complaining he missed so much these last few weeks on the road. He had swore it could cure all pain in an instant and you were determined to make it for him.

You two were going to be staying in the boy's vacation home, a nice little cabin in the hills of Tennessee so he could ‘get away from Jake and his amps’ for a while and immerse himself in nature. You of course happily obliged to his every request. Secretly pining on him for months now, you'd take any chance to spend time with him while he was home. 

So this is how you ended up where you currently were, one of your least favorite places on the face of the planet earth. But if it was for him, you'd suck it up any day of the week.

With your car full of grocery bags and a packed duffle bag you began your trek to the hills of Tennessee outside of the bustling city of Nashville that you have been able to call home for the last couple of years. The drive was peaceful. You had made it a few times before after having the pleasure of being invited to a small weekend getaway with the boys and their lovers. Many memories were made in that cabin with your friends. 

Pulling down the little dirt road that led to the cabin you weren't sure if you were giddy with excitement or if it was your brain trying its best to cover up your anxiousness. You were going to be spending the next few days with Josh alone. You've never had the chance to spend one on one time without Josh's brothers hanging out nearby or even just other people in general hanging around.

Seeing the cabin coming into view through the trees you saw Josh's Jeep already parked out front. “Hey Siri? Call Josh.” Even with the cabin being tucked away in the woods you were thankful cell service was still decently strong.

The phone rang a few times over the speakers in your car, “Hello?” 

“Hey! I have arrived!” You announced as you put your car into park. 

“Okay, the front door is unlocked. Need any help?”

“I got it Josh, dont worry about it!” You reached over your front seat to grab your purse and water bottle, preparing yourself to load up your arms with groceries and such. 

“Okay, see you soon Sunny.”

Sunny..

Josh had given you the nickname Sunshine shortly after you two met and it had been shortened to Sunny after a while. He had told you that you reminded him of the warm sun on the first day of spring after the weather broke from a cold winter. That you lit up a room so effortlessly when you were around and had the ability to make everyone around you happy. And that's when you knew that you were in trouble. Your heart belonged to him but it felt so unrequited at times. His little touches he would graze over your skin when he thought no one was looking, the winks he would shoot your direction after he made a joke that caused you to laugh wildly, the blush you could swear would paint his cheeks when you would make flirty remarks..

And yet, whenever you felt like the line between friends would be crossed, he would pull away. The touches would become more sparse and you noticed he wouldn't look in your direction as often as he used to. But then he would jump right back in a few days later as if nothing happened. As if his cold behavior was just a minor occurrence. It confused you wildly. So you settled for pining after him and keeping him as close as he could be to you, as friends. As long as he was in your life, you didn't care.

You gathered up the grocery bags along your arms, clearly hurting yourself slightly in the process but you'll be damned if you had to make another trip. Unfortunately for you, you had abandoned your duffel bag back in the car and only realized it as you were pushing the front door of the house open. Josh had been spread out on the couch, writing furiously away in his journal as he had finally been able to put some finishing touches on the lyrics to a new song when he heard you. He saw you through the little archway in between the foyer, kitchen and living room. 

“Sunny!” He beamed. “Oh my gosh, hang on, let me help you!” 

Your arms were beginning to weaken at the heaviness of the bags but you shook your head wildly as he came bounding towards you.

‘You will do no such thing mister! Go sit back down!” 

You tried to pull away from Josh's fingers grasping at the handles of the bags leaving red marks on your arms but didn't succeed as he pulled a few of them away from you.

“Sunny, don't be so stubborn, I feel okay right now!” He smiled widely at you, his dimple making an appearance on his cheek. You tried not to stare as you felt yourself redden in the face. Had you forgotten how he was so cute while he was away? How is it even possible that he came home more attractive..

You walked with him the short distance to the kitchen and after unloading the bags from your arms Josh walked towards you and gave you a side hug. “Thanks again for doing this for me Sunny.”

“Of course.” You smiled up at him.

“Did you hear about the storms that are supposed to happen tonight?” He asked, back turned towards you while you both started unloading the groceries.

“I did, yes! Are you prepared? I heard the wind might be bad and the power will go out because of that.”

Josh stopped and threw a cheeky smile over his shoulder at you. “And who said the power was going to go out?”

“Me! This cabin is in the middle of nowhere, I will give you $100 if the power does not go out.”

“Deal Sunny!” He smirked. 

His smirk quickly diminished on his face as he felt a pain radiating through his ear to his jaw, you watched as he winced slightly.

“You okay?” You softly asked.

“Yeah..I mean, no. But it's okay.”

Josh turned his attention back towards the grocery bags and you. You were beating yourself up mentally for not really being able to carry on or start a conversation with him now that you two were alone together. There was easily so much you two could talk about right now. You were trying to rack your brain on whether or not you wanted to ask him about tour so soon because it was such a touchy subject right now. Or even bring up the state of his ear, deciding against that as well as it might add insult to injury. Just as you were about to ask him how his trip home was, Josh broke the silence in the room.

“Chicken broth?” 

“Huh?” You responded.

“You got chicken broth?” Josh raised his voice slightly at you causing you to shrink back. Your eyes go wide at his tone of voice.

“I…- Josh..was I not supposed-...” You started rambling. Shocked at how he was speaking to you.

“Why the fuck would you get chicken broth for a vegetarian soup?!” You watched as he pinched the bridge of his nose and spun around. Your heart sank and started to quicken in your chest as your brain tried to comprehend how Josh's voice and attitude towards you changed at the flip of a switch. I mean you just got here..

He's never ever used that voice with you before with you and now..your arms began to stiffen at the rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins and you started to ramble.

“Josh I- I don't know why I didn't think of-”

“Of course you didn't think. I mean why would that make any sense!” He snapped, still facing away from you in the kitchen.

“I'm sorry. I don't know why I-..” 

“Just..-stop..now we can't have the soup. The one thing you knew I was looking forward to for the last few days. You think I can have chicken broth?! Useless..” Josh whispered the last part.

Your heart sank heavy in your chest. You had positively ruined the one thing Josh asked you to do for him. Your head had snapped up to look at him at his last word he chose to mutter out, only to see his eyes wide already looking at you. You felt like the two of you were standing there for hours, neither of you making a move. He watched as your eyes began to fill with tears and your face turned red. 

You snatched your keys off the counter just as the first shaky breath of what felt like a panic attack coming on made its way through your chest. 

You had to go, you had to get out of this house before he saw you break down. You couldn't let him see you like this.

You hastily slipped on your shoes not caring if you even put them on the correct foot and pushed the front door of the house open making haste to your car in the driveway. All the while you could hear Josh repeatedly calling out your name from behind you trying to stop you. It wasn't until he had successfully grabbed your arm while you were trying to get into the front seat of your car did you stop. By now you had tears spilling down your cheeks and you refused to look directly at him.

“Y/N please, Y/N I'm sorry I didn't mean it-..” He pleaded with you, grip strong on your left arm.

“Josh, please let me go.” you let out a shaky breath, closing your eyes causing more tears to rush down your cheeks. 

“No,” He paused to wipe a stray tear falling down your cheek. “No, I'm not letting you go. I'm sorry Y/N I didn't mean what I said back there. I need you here, with me, please.” 

“But why did you say all that..why did you talk to me like that.” You let out a shaky breath, looking down at your feet.

“Y/N I promise I didn't mean it, I've been irritated with other things and I kind of took it out on you and I shouldn't have. Not that that is a good excuse to say anything like that to you. I-I'm sorry.” 

Josh's chest was rapidly rising and falling as he was looking at you. “Please please stay. I didn't mean it.” 

You pushed him away from you. 

“You don't think I know that!” You yelled at him. 

You watched his face turn white as you connected your now bloodshot eyes with his own. 

“Josh, you don't think I know half of the shit that you've been going through?! We talk almost every single day! I know how you haven't been feeling good and for crying out loud and I know this set back on tour is a lot to handle.I come here to help you out because you asked me to and because you're my best friend and you yell at me and call me useless right after I walk through your front door? Useless?! Seriously get fucked.” You turned away from him again grabbing your car door handle only for his arm to reach past your shoulder and shove it closed. 

“Y/N, please..!”

“Josh, let me fucking GO!” 

He held his arm steady against the crease of the car door and you snapped your eyes at his face and glared at him the best you could. You hoped that your piercing glare would get the message across. You watched as he drew his lips together in a tight line and rubbed his nose against his white sleeve before looking back at you. You crossed your arms and continued to glare at him.

Just as he was about to begin speaking to you again you clicked the little red button on your key fob and the car alarm started blaring. You lifted your chin at him in defiance. 

You watched as his face dropped, as if you could read his face saying ‘really?’. 

He rolled his eyes. “Y/N. Seriously?”

“Yes seriously. Get off my car you fucking criminal.”

“Criminal?” He glared at you.

“Yes criminal! You're holding me hostage!”

He giggled, arm still perched against your car door, alarm still blaring.

“You know there's 3 other doors you can crawl into this vehicle through. I'm not doing anything.” You watched as the corners of his mouth were fighting off a smile, his eyes gave it away though how funny you were to him which only fueled the anger you felt.

“Fuck you Joshua!” 

Your anger intensified even more as he laughed out loud. “I'm just saying Sunny! You're more than capable of getting into your vehicle right now!” 

“You're so annoying!” 

“Oh yeah? What else?” His stupid smirk was beginning to break through your tough barrier without you even realizing it.

“You're an asshole! A prick! The worst person I've positively ever met in my entire life!” 

“Wow, Sunny. I never thought I'd see your true colors!” He finally threw a full smile in your direction which quickly fell as he watched your eyes narrow even further at him.

You turned your back to him then. Car alarm still going off.

You heard him sigh. “Y/N? Sunny? I'm sorry I yelled at you and said you were useless. That was totally out of line for me and I don't know why I even said it in the first place because you are the best thing that has happened to me in a very long time. I don't think I would be able to survive without you to be honest. I'd probably be stuck on the side of the road somewhere like a lost puppy if it weren't for you keeping me in check and taking such good care of me. Will you please forgive me for the horrid, horrid comment I made in the kitchen? Let me make it up to you.” 

You didnt turn back to face him, but you clicked that little red button on your key fob and your car went quiet. You heard him let out a breath behind you. You began tapping your foot against the gravel. Were you really about to forgive this asshole? Probably. I mean he was right that he wouldn't be able to survive without you..and his stupid cute face, his smile and those dimples were your ultimate kryptonite..

“Fine Joshua. I will stay, but understand you have some major, major groveling to do.”

You turned back to face him and Josh whisked you into his arms faster than you could blink.

You felt his arms wrap around you and a hand immediately finding its place on the back of your head holding you tight like you were going to slip away at any moment. Your arms did not reciprocate, only loosely wrapping around his torso as he clung to you like his life depended upon it.

The sadness in your chest had dissipated. Not into comfort, warmth, or happiness. The anger stuck. 

“Josh, why would you even say something like that to me in the first place though?” You pulled your head away from his grasp to look at him directly. You could see the remorse still painted clearly across his face. Just as he was about to open his mouth and respond, the sound of tires crunching on gravel cut you both short. 

Josh sighed and looked between you and the car that was approaching. “My mom is here.” 

He dropped his arms from around you and you watched as he opened your back seat door and grabbed your duffle bag, slinging it over his right shoulder. 

“Hey kids!” Karen greeted you both with a wide smile stepping out of her car. “What's up!” 

Both you and Josh put up appearances as if, whatever it was, didn't just happen between you two. 

“Hey mama!” Josh walked around the front of the car to give his mom a big hug. 

“Hey Mrs. Kiszka” You waved at her with a small smile.

“Did you just get here honey? I hope I wasn't interrupting anything.” She shot a wink at Josh, which to his luck, you had missed but his cheeks now sported a light pink color.

“Yeah, I was just helping her unload her things ma.” 

“Oh perfect, then you can grab these bags from my car too!” She opened the back seat of her car. “I stopped to pick up some groceries for you since I know you've been on tour for so long, figured I'd help restock the fridge.”

Josh whispered a soft thank you. Neither of you made a move to mention that you had just gone grocery shopping for him not a few hours ago.

“Let me help too Mrs.Kiszka.” You smiled and held an open arm for her to place grocery bags into.

“Thank you sweetheart!” 

*****************************************************************

You, Josh and Karen had successfully brought all 6 grocery bags into the house without an issue setting them onto the counter next to where the already more than empty grocery bags from your trip now sat. 

“Oh! I didn't realize that you had already done some grocery shopping sweetie!” Karen said, beginning to unload fresh carrots from a brown paper bag. 

Josh cleared his throat and glanced across the kitchen island at you, giving you a small smile. “Yeah, Y/N here was generous enough to go for me today. She even picked up my medicine that I needed since I still cannot really drive due to random bouts of vertigo.”

“Ohh how sweet of you Y/N” Karen said. “Thank you for taking such good care of Joshua for me. He always speaks highly of you and I can see why.” 

“You're welcome Mrs.Kiszka, of course” You smiled at her sheepishly, your cheeks now sporting a red hue. 

You had only met Karen a few times and had a few brief conversations with her. For some reason she made you nervous. I guess that's what happens when you are crushing on somebody's son who loves their mother more than anything. You constantly hope for approval from them.

You were blissfully unaware that Josh was watching your every move. He found it endearing how nervous you got around his mother, how you fidgeted with your fingers and blushed furiously.

“Joshua, stop staring and help me unpack these groceries?” Karen smirked in his direction.

You watched as Josh's face now matched yours in color. 

Was he really just staring at you? What the fuck?

You were in the middle of unpacking eggs from the bottom of a brown paper bag when Josh dropped an item onto the floor. “Fuck.” He murmured. 

He bent down to pick it up just as you snapped your eyes in his direction. You watched as he locked eyes with you and set the container of vegetable broth back on the counter as Karen was behind you clearing out space in the fridge. 

“Joshua Michael, you have moldy fruit in here..”

Josh's eyes snapped behind you to look at his mom while she was scolding him. 

You were focused on the container of veggie broth sitting on the kitchen counter now, almost taunting you. 

You felt overwhelmed all of a sudden and you hastily finished clearing out the bag in front of you. “I'm going to excuse myself to take a shower if you two don't mind. I feel a little gross after running around all of Nashville today.” 

“Of course sweetie!” Karen said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and giving you a light squeeze. You smiled at her and leaned into the side hug. Karen gave the best hugs.

Josh nodded at you. “Upstairs and straight back in the hallway is the bathroom. There should be fresh towels. If they're not out, the third cabinet on the left should have some fresh towels.” 

“Thanks.”

Josh gave you a small smile and reached to grab the moldy blueberry container that Karen had begun waving around again.

****************************************************************

The hot water pouring from the shower head felt divine against your sore muscles. You took your time scrubbing, exfoliating, standing underneath the hot stream of water and letting the water cascade down your face or your back. You weren't in a rush to get out of the shower. Not when it felt this good, and not when you were trying to avoid being downstairs again. You were still upset that Josh had even spoken to you in such a way over something as small as Chicken broth. But as you mulled it over in the water some more, you couldn't really believe yourself but you started to empathize with his little outburst due to the recent events and you still felt slightly guilty that you couldn't deliver the one thing he kept bringing up over and over again the last few days. Almost as if the universe had a vendetta against you, you felt the hot water turn lukewarm and then almost ice cold instantly as the water reserve from the hot water tank drained in its entirety. 

You let out a groan as you realized your time in the shower had now come to an end unfortunately.  

You grabbed the white fluffy towels sitting on the counter next to you and wrapped your body up, trying to warm back up as the water had really put a damper on your skin temp. Thankfully, you had remembered to grab your duffle bag from the bottom of the staircase where Josh had left it before you came upstairs. 

Putting on your favorite comfy clothes and taking the time to do your after shower routine, you realized you really couldn't stay upstairs much longer.

Opening the bathroom door, the smell of spices and comfort food filled your senses. It had been a long time since you had a good home cooked meal and your tummy grumbled loud to remind you of such.The frozen dinners and the take out during the week had turned into an often occurrence for you when you were in a pinch. And it felt like you were in a pinch very often these days. 

You were about to start descending down the stairs when you caught hushed voices coming from the kitchen.

“...I was so mean to her mama, I really messed up.” You heard Josh plead.

“You know Josh,” You heard Karen hush back. “That girl cares about you. A lot. I can see that very clearly from the few times that I have spent with all of you. You are my son yes but you know I don't sugar coat shit. I am surprised she even stayed.”

“Me too.”

“You will have some making up to do no doubt. But I think you are off to a great start here.”

While you were doing your best to go unnoticed by the two in the kitchen, you hadn't realized the banister you were leaning against at the top of the stairs wasn't the steadiest unfortunately. Just your luck, one of the screws had popped out of the wall that was holding said banister up and rolled quite loudly down the wooden steps until it made it to the bottom of the staircase.

You rushed down after it, beat red in the face. Picking it up you looked up and made eye contact with Josh and Karen who were both trying hard not to laugh. 

“Im sooo sorry Josh! I didnt mean to break-..”

Josh held his hand up, “Let me guess, top screw from the banister. That fucking thing will never stay in the wall.” He shook his head and made his way over to you. He touched your elbow as you put the screw into his extended hand and you two held each others gaze for a brief moment before you broke away from his touch.

“Well you two, I am out of here.” Karen said, grabbing her purse from the counter. 

“You're not staying for dinner mama?” Josh asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“I do have other children, Joshua. Plus, I promised Jacob I would spend the night at his house since Jita is out of town currently. You're in good hands here anyways.” She shot a wink in your direction. 

You flushed and watched as her and Josh shared an embrace before she approached you. 

“If you need anything honey, my phone number is on the fridge.” She pulled you into her embrace and you two squeezed each other.

“Don't let him get into too much trouble now.” She whispered.

“And you two stay safe! Joshua if anything happens I'm a call away.” She said as she approached the front door. 

“Thank you mama!”

“Thanks Mrs.Kiszka”

“You two behave yourselves!” She winked at you both as the front door shut. 

“Hi” Josh smiled at you sheepishly.

“Hey.” You responded.

“I made my famous pasta dish if you're hungry.” He gestured behind him.

“I thought I was supposed to be making dinner for you tonight.” Your eyebrows furrowed as you made your way to the barstool directly across from him. “Also, was I in the shower that long?” 

He laughed and turned around to spoon contents from the pan on the stove into a white bowl.

“Not terribly long, no. Also, I cannot promise this is the best thing you will ever eat but,” He set a bowl in front of you. “Consider this an apology?”

“Not the best thing? Josh, I thought this was your ‘famous pasta dish’!” You grinned at him. 

“Oh shove it!” He matched your smile.

You brought a forkful of the hot contents up to your mouth enjoying the flavors of the sauce and the herbs mixing together in perfect harmony. It was easily one of the best things you have tasted in awhile. “I accept your apology, I think.”

******************************************************************

Not a few hours later you sat with bellies full of pasta, wine and the two of you were now picking at Josh’s version of a desert charcuterie board which consisted of graham crackers, fruit, marshmallows and chocolates that he scoured his cabinets for, minus the blueberries of course. 

There was a comfortable silence between the two of you, John Denver’s voice filling the background. All that happened earlier was forgiven through bouts of shared laughter and talking through shared memories you had made together, and listening to the stories from the tour. The good ones only of course. 

The first few notes of Sunshine on my Shoulders began to play through the speakers of the record player. 

“Dance with me Sunny?” Josh asked, extending a hand out to you. “I know this is one of your favorite songs.” 

You took his hand and watched as he gave you his signature wide smile that was only ever reserved for when he seemed to be truly happy. Josh pulled you softly into his arms, one hand laid on your lower back, the other holding your left hand. Your right arm comfortably lay underneath his left, feeling the strength of his back muscles through his yellow jacket he was sporting. You allowed yourself to truck your head into the crook of his neck, his smell consuming your senses. You could feel his steady heartbeat on the tip of your nose as you two swayed slowly in the kitchen. 

If I had a day that I could give you

I'd give to you a day just like today

If I had a song that I could sing for you

I'd sing a song to make you feel this way

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy

Your heart almost stopped in your chest at the sound of him beginning to sing softly along with the lyrics. Only a few hours ago you were mad at him and now those feelings of frustration have been whisked away with the sound of his soft voice.

Fuck you wanted this man so bad. And who knows, maybe he did have feelings for you too. I mean, who else would just wrap someone up, swaying in a kitchen after drinking wine and enjoying a nice meal like that. But then again, you  thought of what everyone who was close with Josh would say at dinner parties or late nights out at the bars.

“Josh doesn’t date. Don’t get your hopes up” 

“Josh is picky about girls.”

“Josh is good at stringing girls along and breaking their hearts, I’ve seen it! It’s true! He gets close to these girls, takes them on a few dates or has them over and then never talks to them again.”

“He’s not called the heartbreaker for nothing.”

You were no longer focusing on the song or Josh's soft humming, more on the intoxicating feeling of him, the smell of him and the thought that he could rip your heart to shreds in an instant. Everything about Josh invited you in and kept a strong hold on your heart. You felt the pang of sadness course through your heart at the thought that you could probably never have this man in your life the way you wanted. You would never be able to experience the feeling of being swept up in his arms after a long day. The feeling of his lips across your skin. How he looked in the morning all curled up in his bed right here at home.

Your body must have stiffened slightly in Josh's arms and of course he noticed the change immediately.

“Sunny? Everything okay?” He asked, pulling back away from you a bit to look down at your face. 

“Huh?” You tried to play it off. “Oh, yeah, yes, I just…have a bit of a headache coming on. Too much wine probably.” 

You knew he knew it was a lie, you could see it clear as day on his face. You two each only had maybe 3 glasses and this man has watched you pound tequila sodas and shots and still be able to function almost completely fine. But for some reason he didn’t press you for a further explanation.

“Want some tylenol?” He asked, disconnecting your bodies from one another. His hands rested softly in the bottoms of your elbows. 

You shrugged, “Sure. I might head to bed though. These headaches can end up being bad if I don’t get horizontal soon.” 

He nodded and gave you a sad smile. “I get it, trust me. Let me grab some water for you too.” 

You felt the tension in the room peak at an all time high for the first time tonight as you watched Josh float around his kitchen grabbing a glass, filling it up and emptying two pills into the palm of his hand. You graciously took the items from him. 

You watched as Josh began to clean up the items in the kitchen before placing the now empty glass of water into the sink where Josh was currently scrubbing away at a pot. 

“Goodnight Josh.” You bumped his shoulder awkwardly. 

“Sleep well Sunny.” He bumped yours back.

You wrapped your arms around your torso almost in a protective manner, or almost as if you were cold and began to make your way up the staircase. You stopped at the 4th step and turned around. “Hey Josh?”

A smile spread on your face as you watched just his head poke out from behind the kitchen wall. “Yeah?” 

“Thank you. For dinner, a-and for letting me stay here with you.” 

He gave you a smile, “Of course Y/N. Thank you for staying.” 

You nodded and turned back around heading towards the guest room on the opposite side of the hallway from Josh's room. The second the door clicked closed you felt overwhelmed again and tears began to pool in your eyes again. 

God, you wanted him bad. You'd give anything. 

****************************************************************

You woke up suddenly to a pitch dark room and a thumping heart, completely unsure as to why at first. Maybe a bad dream? Your eyes tried to adjust to the darkness around the room and you pulled the blankets up to your chin. You hated to admit it but sometimes being immersed in complete darkness made you unbelievably uncomfortable. Especially when you were in an unfamiliar place.

Which reminded you that you had a salt lamp on when you fell asleep in the room yet it was off. Why would it be off? You definitely didn’t turn it off. Maybe Josh popped in and turned it off while you were asleep?

Suddenly a bright flash filled the room and your heart rate picked up again, immediately anticipating the crash of thunder that followed. Yet you still felt yourself flinch underneath the covers of the warm bed as you felt the thunder shake the wood of the house as if it were easily breakable under immense force. With your senses now heightened you picked up on the sound of the wind howling outside, the sound of the rain picking up against the window pane. You were so lucky that the foot of the bed happened to be just at the edge of the window and right up against the exterior wall. 

Another boom of thunder and you were now completely buried underneath the blankets. You never were a huge fan of thunderstorms, particularly at night. With the conclusion that you were probably not going to sleep anytime soon, you reached out of the safety of your blankets and snagged your phone off the bedside table, disconnecting it from the charger as it had no use when the power was out anyways.

12:32 AM.

You sighed and opened up your messages and clicked on your last message bar with Josh.

To Josh: 

Hey. Any chance you're awake? 

You laid there for a few moments, pulling up the weather app on your phone as the storm continued to pick up intensity outside. 

Josh:

Just so happens that I am awake. I am downstairs, care to join?

You threw the covers off of yourself and turned the flashlight on your phone as you opened the bedroom door. You could see at the end of the hallway a soft glow of flickering orange. As you descended the stairs and into the living room you could see Josh clad in nothing but a white t-shirt and a pair of boxer briefs practically bouncing around the room with a lighter, lighting different candles in various parts of the room.

“Overkill much?” You huffed a laugh as he jumped at the sound of your voice. 

“I would very much like to see where I am going in my house, Sunny.”

Another flash of lightning cut through the orange glow followed by a large boom of thunder once again testing the sturdiness of the house. You had winced from the flash and the sound of the thunder and didn't catch Josh looking at you now from across the room. 

“You okay Sunny?”

“Yeah, thunderstorms… aren't really my thing.” You said as you made your way to the couch in the center of the room covered in blankets and pillows that weren't there earlier. 

“I was going to come wake you actually, I'm glad you texted me. Figured it might be safer to shack up on the first floor of this house during the storms in case of anything bad happening.” He said as he made his way to the opposite end of the couch mirroring your position.

“You think something bad is going to happen?” You asked softly, pulling the blanket up to your chin.

Josh sat up straight quickly grabbing onto your covered foot. “No Sunny, gosh no! We are very safe here! I just wanted you to be downstairs with me so I could keep an eye on you. Especially more so now that I know you don't really like thunderstorms.” He gave you a sympathetic smile.

“I do feel better being down here with you Josh, thank you.” 

“Of course Sunshine, anything for you.” 

The shrill sound of an alert coming from both of your cellular devices caused you to jump practically into Josh's lap to which he let out a small giggle and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. “Its okay Sunny. I can't promise this little piece of technological imprisonment won't ruin your mind but I will do everything in my power to make sure it won't hurt you.” You watched as Josh swiped the notification away on his phone. 

“What is the warning for Josh?” You asked in a small voice, heart once again pounding in your chest. You couldn't tell if the rush of adrenaline was from the loud shrill of a government alert or from the feeling of Josh's fingers softly rubbing your shoulder and the feather of his breath across your forehead. Both were most likely a contributing factor. 

“Just a thunderstorm warning Sunny. But we will be okay. We have a sturdy shelter we are in right now, we have each other, I stand by my promise that I won't let anything hurt you.” He pulled you further into his lap then. Wrapping his arms around your waist and dragging you up until you laid in between his legs facing away from him, his legs lay on either side of your body.

Your heart leapt in your chest again. You were happy you were facing away from him so he couldn't see the deep red blush painted across your cheekbones as he moved your hair from the side of your face and neck to give him room to hang his head on your shoulder without having any barrier between his and your skin. The feeling of his breath through his nose on your neck was causing goosebumps to raise on your skin. The sound of the storm battering the windows and the soft feeling of his lips now grazing the side of your neck ever so slightly. Or you might just be imagining the feeling of his lips against you. Either way, his actions were causing your heart to continue to leap in your chest. He must've noticed because you felt the exhale of his breath come out fast against your pulse point.

“Sunny, like I said, no need to be nervous because of the storm-..”

Yeah, because your heart racing out of your chest was now solely because of the storm.

“I may or may not have a few joints pre rolled for special occasions” 

“This is a special occasion? Me being terrified of a storm?”

Josh barked out a laugh against your ear. “Exactly so Y/N.”

“Well, I haven't really smoked in a long time, but why the hell not.” You rolled your eyes.

“That's the spirit!” Josh said, tapping the outside of your thigh to signal you to get up so he can retrieve said joints. 

You watched from the comfort of your spot on the couch where Josh was just sitting moments before as he padded across the living room to a bookshelf. You watched him move a few books around before an “Aha!” sound came from his direction and he turned back to you with a little container. You watched as he waved the little box in the air and shot you a wink. 

“Flounder!”

You snorted. “I'm sorry, flounder?”

Josh jumped back onto the couch spot next to you, his thighs pressing up against your calves as you were sitting cross legged facing him, giving you the perfect view of his side profile. 

“Yeah Sunny! Flounder! Like, I-found-her. Don't tell me you don't get it!” He sent you a dazzling smile as he was unwrapping the bag containing the joints.

“You're such a goober, oh my god!” You laughed again, pushing your hand against the side of his shaved head. 

*******************************************************************

A few minutes later you were now in a slight haze from the joint, feeling more relaxed now than you have since you were rudely awoken by the storm and the pitch black room. You and Josh were silently passing the joint back and forth between you, embracing the soft flickers of candle light together and surprisingly the more you set in, the less and less you were fearful of the rain hitting the windows. 

“Sunny?” Josh asked, giggling slightly. “You good?” 

You hadn't realized you zoned out and Josh had been holding the joint out to you again and you had failed to notice. “Huh? Oh! Yeah, I was just zoning out I guess.” 

Josh giggled again, “No problem.” 

You leaned your head back against the couch as you listened to Josh start to softly hum next to you in between puffing on the joint every once in a while. 

“Sunny, you greened out or do you want to try and shotgun? The joint is almost gone, no pressure though..” He sounded nervous and his suggestion put you on edge. You knew how intimate shotgunning could be and the thought of being that close to Josh made your head spin. 

“I guess I could take one more hit.”

“Atta girl,” Josh said, tapping your knee motioning for you to angle your body towards him. “It won't be that rough anyways, you know.”

You nodded, head spinning and heart beating wildly in your chest as he mirrored your position now. 

“So how are we going to-..how do you want to-..how..” You stuttered out.

“Sunny, it's just me, relax, follow my lead.” 

You gulped as his hand rested on your knee now. You watched as he brought the joint to his lips and pulled harshly. Causing the end of the joint to burn a bright orange. Quicker than you anticipated his eyes snapped up to your face, nostrils flared and he pulled your chin towards him.His lips now grazed yours ever so slightly, and your breath caught in your throat as you parted your lips slightly. The smoke escaped around the both of you as you had forgotten to inhale, easily intoxicated by the feeling of him being so close to you now. Josh let out a silent giggle, you could feel his plush lips turning up into a smile against yours. 

Josh pulled back slightly and smiled at you. “Sunny, you forgot to inhale!”

You blushed furiously looking anywhere but his face, suddenly your hands seemed to be super interesting as your mouth grew dry. You weren't sure if it was from the weed or all the stress you have been through this entire evening. “Yeaaahh..oops?” You let out softly.

Josh giggled wildly. “You're adorable when you get flustered.”

Your eyes snapped to his face now, you watched as he took another inhale of the joint. “Who said I was flustered!”

He smiled as he exhaled and reached forward to knock the ash off the bottom of the joint into the ashtray sitting on the table. He turned back to you immediately after, lips twitching at the corners of his mouth.

“You look so pretty in the candlelight right now..” Josh whispered, his fingertips grazing your cheekbone, his eyes following his fingers.

You're unsure of who officially closed the distance first in your inebriated state of mind but next thing you knew his soft, plush, wet lips were softly pressed against yours. The feeling of his hand buried in your hair was the only thing that you could really focus on in that moment. The joint abandoned between Josh's fingers on his other hand between you, burning away.. 

Josh's soft, pillowy lips were dragging you into the most intense high you have ever experienced. He tasted sweet and felt even sweeter. The feeling of your lips finally melding together after months and months of pining felt like a drink of cold water on a hot summer's day. 

Your bottom lip was briefly captured between his teeth and you felt him slightly nibble and then pull back. A gasp type moan escaped from you and Josh flashed you a dazzling smile before diving right back in. Josh's hand slipped down now from your hair into your lap, giving your thigh a squeeze. His squeeze turned into him desperately grabbing at you trying to pull you closer as your fingers gripped his jaw, tongues fighting each other for dominance.

“Mmmm, come here..” Josh turned away from you quickly to put out the burning joint in the ashtray and like lightning he gripped on your hips bringing you onto his lap, straddling him. His fingertips were now brushing up the hem of your sleep shirt to graze at the skin of your hips as your mouths reconnected again in a fervent fashion. The feeling of his soft, cold fingertips against your delicate skin causing you to momentarily gasp into his mouth and goosebumps fly across your skin. You felt yourself becoming more and more turned on by the moment and he explored your mouth with his. As you gripped onto the back of Josh neck harder, dragging him impossibly closer, his hips rose up and you could clearly feel his hard on pressing against your core causing you to let out the loudest mona of the night in your throat. Josh quickly pulled away from you causing you to panic slightly. 

“Fuck Sunny, Im sorry.” he said, brushing a piece of hair away from your face. “I'm clearly getting ahead of myself here.”

You grabbed onto his face, forcing him to look you directly in the eyes. “No, no you're not. I want this.” You pecked his lips lightly. “I want you.”

“Fuck.” Josh gasped out and when your mouths met again, it was clear you both were about to cross the boundary between friends and neither of you had a problem with it. 

You felt Josh's fingers slowly begin to drag up your sides underneath your shirt. Slow enough that it was frustrating for you. You hastily grabbed onto the bottom of the shirt and tore it off of you causing Josh to giggle. “Slow down Y/N, I want to savor this.”

His eyes turned a darker hue in the candle light as he took in the sight of your chest, finally bare for him. He wasted no time grabbing onto both of your breasts and squeezing the supple flesh together moaning out another ‘fuck’ under his breath. His mouth finally attached itself to one of your nipples, pulling and rolling the sensitive bud in between his lips. You felt his teeth graze against your nipple causing you to throw you head back. He left sloppy kisses across your chest as he moved to give the other one some much needed attention. 

“Fucking hell Josh.” You moaned as you felt yourself becoming more and more aroused. 

He looked up at you with hooded eyes and a slight smirk on his lips. 

That stupid fucking smirk again. 

His fingers now grazing your nipples simultaneously as your mouths reconnected again. You felt him begin to pull and tug on your breasts causing you to toss your head back again and he watched you get drunk on the feeling of his hands and now his very, very obvious hard on through his briefs as you had begun grinding yourself along his impressive length once more.  his right hand still on your hip encouraging your steady movement.

The feeling of him hard and tucked away between your thin sleep shorts and his thin boxer briefs started driving you mad. Your moans now freely flowing out as you focused on Josh's face watching yours. Your foreheads practically pressing together. Josh let out a soft moan, causing you to clench around nothing. 

“That feel good, sweet girl? Are you making a mess of your panties on top of me right now? I bet you are..”

You watched as Josh looked down to where you were dragging yourself lazily along his length, both of his hands now pressed into your hips guiding you along. You watched as his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes snapped back up to yours. 

“Y/N, can I please touch you? You're driving me crazy..”

“Please..” You said, dragging your lips against his right ear, pulling his golden hoop in between your lips and sucking softly. 

This must’ve thrown him off the edge because next thing you knew, he was pushing you down on your back and he was leaning over you, finger tips grazing over your clothed core.

A fresh tingling feeling made its way to your lower half as his soft fingers grazed a small path right up your slit to where your covered clit was and all the way back down again. Josh watched your eyebrows furrow in pleasure. He couldn't believe he finally had you in the way he dreamed of but never admitted out loud. So many late nights were spent in the confined spaces of his bunk on the tour bus, fighting the urge to touch himself underneath the covers at the thought of you. 

You felt his fingers now dip underneath the seam of your underwear and graze across your wet core. A shameful moan escaped you as you felt his fingers at first slowly graze against the wetness then switch up and apply more pressure, breaking against the dam to truly feel you. 

“Oh my fuck, my sweet girl, youre so wet.” Josh let out what sounded like a painful moan.

“A-all for you Josh” 

Your head snapped back as his finger came in contact with your swollen clit, swirling around it a few times. Watching how your body reacted to him in complete awe. 

He ripped away from you then, causing a pathetic moan to come out of your mouth at the loss of contact. “I need to get these clothes off of you babe. I need to see you, and feel you even more.”

You watched from your spot as Josh pulled his own shirt over his head and then dragged your shorts and underwear down. Your legs clamped shut, suddenly feeling a bout of self consciousness.

“Hey,” Josh whispered. “It's just me Sunny, no need to be shy.”

His fingers tips slowly grazing a path from your ankles up to your knees. You nodded at him when he lifted an eyebrow at you and his hands made the move to part your legs. You watched as his lips parted and his eyes grow wide as he finally saw all of you for the first time. 

“Oh my god,” he whispered. “Come here.” 

Josh moved to kneel down on the floor in front of the couch, dragging your hips as best as he could along the way. You were now sitting up, hips against the edge of the couch as Josh began to trail sloppy kisses up one thigh and down the other. 

“Josh” You moaned out breathlessly, diving your fingers into his curls on the top of your head as best you could as he was moving. 

He nipped the inside of your knee ever so lightly, “Mmmm, I love hearing you say my name like that.”

“Josh, please..” You tried to drag him up to your core, desperate to feel him against you. 

“I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have thought about you like this. In my bunk, in my hotel room shower, in the green rooms..” 

You watched as he looked up at you and winked just before finally dragging his tongue along your slit. Your core clenched around nothing at the contact of his warm, wet tongue against you and a moan ripped through your chest as he did it again, only this time he stopped at the top of your clit and sucked lightly. 

“Mmmm, you taste so much better than I imagined.” 

Your body felt like it was on fire with the pleasure rippling from your core spreading to your toes and your fingertips as he continued this pattern between licking through your folds to your entrance and then dragging up to your clit again. He gave your clit a few soft kisses before diving between your fold again. Moans were freely flowing through your mouth by now and Josh was hanging onto your legs to prevent you from clamping around his head from the pleasure shaking through your body.

You felt as he pulled one of your lower lips into his mouth, sucking sharply before releasing and repeating on the other side. He then turned his focus to your clit sucking sharply there, thrashing his head side to side every now and then.

You were already teetering on the edge of your release, so much so that when you felt Joshs fingers push past your entrance and curl up a few times along with his assault on your clit, your body went aflame with white hot pleasure as you released all over his fingers, clenching wildly. 

You couldn't hear your own moans through the contractions of your orgasm but you were pretty sure you were screaming his name.  

Josh was still slowly dragging his fingers in and out of you as you were still clenching around him. You felt him kissing the inside of your thighs,alternating between both as he waited for you to come down.

“Holy fuck.” You breathed out, combing your fingers through the curls on the top of his head again. He chuckled against your thigh. 

“Yeah?” He asked, looking up at you. “That was the hottest fucking thing ive ever had the pleasure of witnessing.”

You giggled as he stood up in front of you, pulling you to your feet as well, wrapping his arms around your waist to stabilize your shaky legs. “I almost came in my shorts.” he giggled, kissing your forehead.

You took note of how hard and heavy he was pressed against your leg. “Now its your turn.” You winked at him dropping to your knees and pulling his boxers down with you. You watched with wide eyes as his cock sprung forward in front of you. Your eyes widened and your core clenched again as you noted how long and thick he actually was. You looked back up at his face just as he was brushing your hair through his fingers, tugging you up lightly.

“Sunny, as much as I want that, I can't wait anymore, I need to be inside you. Please.” He cast doe eyes down at you, eyebrows furrowed as if he was in pain.

You smiled up at him, just as eager to feel him buried inside of you as you placed a wet kiss against his head watching his stomach muscles shudder.

“Oh Y/N..” He moaned and threw his head back. Just as you were about to repeat your actions, you felt Josh's hands under your arms, yanking you up to your feet again only to be pushed down into the same position you started off with him on the couch in the first place. Your legs hung open wide in anticipation for what was coming next. 

Your lips connected once again, hot and heavy as you felt him start to drag himself along your core. Teasing your entrance, then back out and around the rest of your swollen core and then back again just teasing his head in and out of your briefly. Your body felt on fire again. The teasing from the anticipation of feeling him fully buried inside of you making the hars on your head stand at attention and goosebumps littering your skin. The feeling of lust driving you insane. 

You pulled away from him, “Josh please please  stop teasing me, I need you.”

“As you wish, sweet girl.” 

With that, he pushed himself past the threshold of your entrance, slowly stretching you out. He was definitely bigger than those you had been with in the past and the feeling of him pressing against your walls made your eyes flutter shut. Josh let out a gasp as he finally was fully buried inside of you. Your eyes opened back again when he started thrusting inside of you only to see he was already looking down at you with that same pained expression on his face. 

“Fuck Y/N, youre amazing. You feel so good.” His head dropped into the crook of your neck and he started placing sloppy kisses from your ear down to your collarbone, adding a few lips nips from his teeth here and there as he began thrusting harder.

You don't think you've ever felt so much pleasure and so full as his thrusts continued to become sharper against your cervix. His trimmed pelvic hair was adding just the right amount of friction to your clit with each thrust you were unsure how much longer you were going to last. His body, his scent, the way he felt was becoming so overwhelming for you. Tears began to prick the corner of your eyes as he leaned back on his knees dragging your hips up and changing the angle of his thrusts to now connect solely with your g-spot. 

“Oh fuck, oh my fuck, right there!” You yelled out, hands grasping at the front of his thighs in desperation to stop his hard thrusts. 

Josh smirked down at you, his dimple making its appearance on his cheek as he moved one of his hands from your thigh he was gripping onto tightly, to your lower belly and pressing down. Adding to the pressure on your g spot. “Is that it sunny? Is that the spot?”

You chanted out “yes” in time with his thrusts, brain feeling like it was going numb from all the pleasure that was spreading through your body. Just as you felt like you were about to pour over the edge finally, he pulled out and placed your hips down on the couch again. 

You immediately pouted and thrashed your head side to side, “No no no come back no please..” 

He shushed you immediately and rubbed the outside of your thigh, “Calm down honey, I just want to change positions. Come here.”

You watched him step off the couch and he guided you so you were leaning with your torso pressed up against the back of the couch, resting on your knees. You shook your hips at him trying to entice him to hurry and fill you up again. He giggled at your movements and brushed his hands along your hips down to your ass to spread you apart for him. You weren't sure why you were expecting him to be gentle but he was far from it as he roughly thrusted into you again. The new angle made your head spin immediately, once again you felt the hair on your head stand at attention as the only thing you could truly feel was how big he felt inside of you, his sharp unforgiving thrusts, and his hips snapping against you. “Oh fuck, you love it from behind dont you. Listen to you babe, you're a mess.”

You felt as Josh gathered your hair that was hanging down your back into a makeshift ponytail, pulling you back up against him so you were flush with his chest, his thrusts never fully slowing down. His teeth grazed your ear, “Do me a favor baby, I'm so close. Rub your clit, rub your pretty little clit like I know you do when you’re alone and wet and swollen. Show me how you treat her so nice, she makes you feel so good doesn't she?”

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you felt him push you back against the couch, one hand still buried in your hair at the nape of your neck and the other grabbing roughly onto your hip as his thrusts became sharper. Your fingers trailed down to give your clit attention like he asked you to and you began rubbing sharp circles around it, making you clench around him.

Josh moaned out behind you, “Such a good girl, listening so well. I'm not going to last long. I need you to cum.” Josh's words sent you over the edge faster than you anticipated. The ball of pleasure snapped again in your core and you were clenching wildly around him. “There it is, there’s my good girl. Cum all over me. Just like that.” He wailed out. You felt as he pulled out of you, spurts of his cum landing on your lower back. Moaning along with him. You both took a moment trying to catch your breath and come back down to earth after such an intense high. Josh made the first move.

“Don't move yet, Sunshine.” He tapped your hip and you felt him move briefly behind you, grabbing a cloth of some sort and wiping his release off of your back. Both of you stood briefly, redressing and giggling amongst yourselves. Once you were both dressed, Josh dragged you down on top of him as he laid back on the couch wrapping you both up in the blankets. You snuggled your nose into the side of his neck as his arm that was wrapped around you was rubbing up and down your arm. Your body felt weak from the recent activities.

“Well that was a good distraction from the storm.” You giggled, tracing shapes softly onto his chest. He laughed wildly. “I guess you could say that Sunny.”

Silence fell amongst you two again and your mind started to wander. What did this mean for the two of you? Did you truly just ruin your friendship? How were you supposed to move forward..Josh noticed you tense up against him and he brushed his lips against your forehead breathing your scent in deeply. “What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

You sighed, “I just, I hope nothing is ruined between us Josh. I don't want to lose you in my life.

“Hey, hey..” He pushed himself up so now he was leaning over you, hand grazing your cheekbone. “Nothing is ruined between us. I want you in my life. I want you in my life for as long as you will have me Sunny. If it wasn't blatantly obvious before I hope it is now,” He paused and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips which you gladly reciprocated.

“I want to call you mine, I want to walk into a room with you and show you off, brag about you until people beg me to shut the fuck up.” You giggled at him. 

“You truly are the sky, the moon, and the stars. You are wondrous, and I find myself falling in love with you more and more each day. My celestial love. Please let me call you my one and only.”

Instead of answering him with words you pulled him back into you, kissing him as hard as you could. 

He giggled against your lips, “I'll take that as a yes.” 

“Take it as an absolutely. Josh you have me, all of me.”

“I'm so happy to hear that love.” His fingers grazed against your cheekbone again. “My sweet, sweet Sunshine. You are so beautiful.” 

He laid back down pulling you closer than before, tangling his limbs with yours and tucking your head against his chest practically suffocating you. “Lets go to sleep. Hopefully the power will be back on in the morning and I can make you your favorite breakfast.”

You hummed against him and buried your nose into his skin, basking in the scent of his natural musk. He made you feel so safe and wanted. You found your eyelids growing heavy finally.

“Hey Josh?” You mumbled.

“Hmm?”

“Shouldn't we blow out the candles before we fall asleep?” 

You watched as he pinched the bridge of his nose, looking around the room at all the candles still burning away, “Why did I have to light so fucking many Sunny..”

You two giggled and you watched as he got up and started moving around the room blowing out each candle.

How did you end up here and get so lucky? You're not sure, but you could not wait to see where this went.

****************************************************************

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this fic of mine :) thanks for sticking around and finishing it. Tell me your thoughts !

[neteyamssyulang]

Toys

Day 16

Pairing: Neteyam aged up x Fem avatar reader

Summary: Today was your mates birthday and you had a special surprise for him, although that surprise takes a quick turn at the party the clan threw for him.

Warnings: Dom reader, Sub neteyam, Mommy kink, Orgasm Denial, Whimpering Neteyam.

Word count: 790

Translation(s): Yawne -> Beloved, Rutxe -> Please, Tewng -> Loincloth.

A/N: This was rushed so I apologize, it’s not my best. Also yayyy first time writing subby Neteyam.

Tags: @teyamsatan @pandoraslxna

You were beyond excited, but also pretty nervous. The eldest son of Toruk Makto had chosen you, YOU as his mate. Naturally it shocked everyone that he’d chosen a dreamwalker as his mate.

Even if you had an avatar body you preferred your human one. It wasn’t that you didn’t like your avatar no, it’s just because you felt more comfortable in your human body.

Neteyam had wanted you to make the conscious transfer but you refused, you didn’t want to give up your human body just yet. To your luck he had stopped asking.

Today was special though as it was your mates birthday. The clan prepared a party for him and then afterwards you had your own surprise.

Currently your on your way to the village, you didn’t wanna go in your human form so you opted for the avatar. Your tail swished nervously behind you as you reached it and began searching for your mate.

Squeezing your way through crowds of na’vi drinking pongu pongu, a very strong alcohol. Eventually you find him sitting with his family and stride over taking a seat beside him.

“Yawne you made it!” Neteyam smiles and pulls you into a hug making you giggle. “How could I miss my baby’s birthday?” He blushes slightly before engaging in conversation with his family again.

You sit there with your head on his shoulder just listening till a group of girls walk over. Ugh it’s Alira and her “friends” more like followers. They do whatever she says.

She walks till she’s in front of Neteyam waving her hand to catch his attention “Hey Neteyamm” she giggles.

Neteyam looks at her sighing “Hi Alira.” The girl ignores your presence as if your not there as she sits on the opposite side of him placing one of her hands on his chest. “You look so handsome tonight, maybe you could come find me later and I could give you my present.”

Before he hands a chance to speak you stand up grabbing him by his wrist and drag him towards the lab ignoring him telling you to stop so you both can talk things over:

Eventually making it to the lab and going inside you shove him towards your room locking the door once inside. Turning your met with a confused Neteyam “B-baby what’s wrong what did I-” “Shut up, remove your tewng and get on the bed.”

He gulps at your words but obliges removing his loincloth and sitting on your bed. Your glad you got this new one as your old bed wasn’t able to handle the weight of a na’vi on it.

You smile and remove your own top and loincloth aswell, you make your way over to the bed and straddle your boyfriend. “You’ve been very bad Teyam, you let another woman touch what’s mine.”

Reaching over to your nightstand you pick up what looks like a silicone ring. His head tilts in confusion “Yawne wh-what’s that?-”

Chuckling softly you get off him and slide the ring down to the base of his cock. “This was supposed to be your present but now not so much.”

Moving your hand down to the buldge of the ring you press on the button turning it on the first mode, Soft moans leave your mates mouth.

You press the button again, this time turning it to the 3rd mode. His breath hitches and he bucks his hips in the air whimpering, “Y-yawne r-r-rutxe!..”

“Shh my love” you hover your hips above him positioning his angry blue tip at your entrance, slowly you slide down his length till your clit pressed against the toy.

His groans filled your ears as you began lifting your hips only to slam back down onto him, his hands moved do grab onto your hips but you slapped them away. “You don’t get to touch.”

Neteyams ears flattened against his head instead opting to grab onto the sheets. He could feel his orgasm approaching yet he somehow couldn’t reach it.

You began grinding on him now feeling your own climax coming fast, your mates whimpers and broken moans filled the room “Mo-mommy please..”

“Please what darling?” You trail kisses from his jaw to his neck nipping at it. “C-can I cum?”

“My sweet boy.. release is for good boys not naughty ones” sobs began leaving him as tears ran down his face.

Reaching your own climax you cling onto your mate riding out your high till you come back down from it.

Carefully you lift yourself off him and reach down pressing on the button turning it off making him gasp in relief.

“Maybe next time if you’re a good boy you can cum”

[jadedxhearts]

𝐓𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐔𝐩

Originally titled "pay attention to the knots" (god I was so bad at naming things???)

originally posted on June 3, 2023

Please note that this is an old work and isn't representative of my current writing skills!

It wasn’t too often you’d be docked at an island, with the entire crew away from the Polar Tang. Everyone was off on their own, doing whatever they pleased on a nice day “off”. But Law had other ideas in mind for you.

Alone on the submarine, you were on the back deck with your boyfriend, watching as he showed you how to tie knots for when the sails needed to go up. You didn’t even know why he was making you learn these things, as it wasn’t your job anyway. You had other things to do on board, things much more important than tying knots all day long.

“If you don’t do it exactly as I showed you, the whole damn sail’s gonna come down,” Law was saying, watching as you struggled to repeat the actions he’d done moments ago.

“Well I’m not good at it, so I don’t know why the hell you think I should be the one tasked with this,” you tried reasoning, trying to make any sense of not only why Law wanted this, but also how to do it.

“Don’t worry about that, I’m not gonna make you take on the job,” he explained. “You just need to know how.”

“Ugh, Law…” you groaned, tossing the horribly tied rope to the floor as you gave up, crossing your arms and pouting at him. “I don’t wanna do this.”

“You’re just not getting it yet,” he sighed. “Watch me again, okay?”

You silently nodded, feeling as though you really had no other choice.

Law took your awfully tied rope from the wooden floor, undoing all of your weak knots and releasing the rope to its natural form. “You’re going to start with a basic knot,” he instructed, this being the fourth time he was going over this with you.

But you just couldn’t get it right, and you knew without a doubt you wouldn’t ever get it. So… your mind went elsewhere, Law’s words going in one ear and right out the other. At least his voice was soothing to hear…

But that soothing voice just made you sleepy, if anything. You hadn’t slept much the previous night, and you’d planned on sleeping in, up until Law forced you out of your shared bed so he could show you how to tie knots for sailing. You lazily watched as his tattooed hands formed the knots, feeling yourself grow drowsy as he lulled you to sleep…

“Y/n-ya! You’re not paying attention again,” he snapped, tossing the rope aside. “Guess I’ve gotta do something else to get it, huh?”

You jumped in your seat on a barrel as his words woke you up, shaking your head as though that would get rid of your sleepiness. “I’m sorry! I’m just so sleepy, Law. You know I couldn’t sleep last night,” you whined, pleading with him to not do whatever it was he had in mind.

“Too late to beg for forgiveness now,” he said with the rolling of his gray eyes. “Cross your arms behind your back.”

“What?!” You shrieked, staring at your lover with wide eyes. “Why?!”

“Just do it,” he argued, untying the rope once again.

With a loud huff, you obliged, folding your arms behind your back. “You’re gonna tie me up, aren’t you? Law, you’re such a dick.”

“Mhm. You love it, y/n-ya. Don’t even lie,” he purred in your ear as he started looping the rope around your arms.

“Love what? Your dick or you acting like one? Cause I’m getting real sick of at least one of them.”

“Both,” he answered with a smug look on his face. “You love both. Now turn around.”

You did as Law said, turning to face him as the rope wrapped around to your front, being looped around your body just above your breasts. After that was secure, Law brought out another rope and looped it around the center of the old one, right over where your breasts met in the center. He pulled it down between them, separating the two strands within the rope when he reached the bottom of your mounds. Each strand went under them, being pulled around to your back, and then looped back to the front. Law tied the ends together along with the original rope in a knot, causing it to press into your skin and push your breasts together, squishing them.

He then did intricate patterns down your stomach, doing a similar thing to your ass as he did to your breasts. He’d removed your shorts just before that, though, leaving you in only panties and a tank top. The rope pushed against your clothed pussy, and with every movement, the rough fabric of the rope rubbed into your clit.

Lastly, Law folded your legs and tied your ankles to your thighs, leaving you in somewhat of a kneeling position. You were completely tied up all by his doing, and certainly wide awake now. Every movement Law made was closely watched by you, unlike earlier.

“Now do I have your attention?” He asked, watching you squirm against the rope on the floor. “So pathetic,” he added, lifting his foot to place it against your cunt, pushing it against you.

“What was the point of this?!” You snapped, glaring up at Law. “How am I supposed to learn anything like this?”

“Maybe you won’t learn how to tie knots, but you will learn a lesson,” Law answered you, chuckling. He then pulled his foot away from you, leaving you whimpering and crying from the loss of friction against your cunt. You hadn’t even noticed how good it felt.

“Wh-what does that mean?” You managed to say, starting to stumble over your words.

Law simply hummed, before turning on his heel and walking away from you.

“Law…?”

He ignored you.

“Law?! You’re not gonna leave me like this, are you?!”

Still, nothing.

“Law!!!”

[genericpuff]

Same anon as before talking about writing stuff and worrying about if people will find it (but not the same anon as the other asks before that) - I think many people who are budding writers and artists have these concerns and bring them to you because you A). Are a creator yourself so you know what you're talking about in a verified sense and B). Idk about other anons but some of us (like me) take your reasoning (and critique) in regard to writing seriously because of your experience and how you analyze stuff such as LO.

I think at least some of us (again I can't speak for everyone nor can I or should I) wants to make sure they're not making mistakes such as the ones RS does in writing.

Also I might just take you up on your offer of Zelda fanfic - I do so love LoZ 😅.

ugh god, am I y'all's role model now or smthing? why would you do that to yourself (ㆆ_ㆆ)

okay but jokes aside, obviously people can't help who they look up to and I'm not gonna be a dick if y'all look up to my work and what I do here, just remember also that you're not obligated to agree with everything I say or take it to heart, you also shouldn't take my analysis of LO and how it's written/drawn personally because so much of that analysis is within the VERY specific definitions in which LO exists, definitions that don't really apply to many other webtoons on the platform. If there's anything I say or criticize LO for that speaks to you and your own work on a certain level, try not to take it as a direct personal attack towards you and more just like... if the things I'm saying about LO feel like they apply to your work, take it as advice for improving your own craft.

Or don't! You can literally ignore me and do what you were gonna do anyways. I literally cannot take that away from you and you absolutely shouldn't let me. I have no real power over anyone here, that's what I mean when I say I'm just a guy participating in their hyperfixation so don't feel like you gotta take me too seriously lmao

Also, yeah, okay, I'm a webcomic creator myself, but to put myself on the cross for once - I've never succeeded at this gig. Rekindled is the most consistent audience I've had in years, I think the last time my work was in a banner rotation was in 2015 (and it wasn't on WT), and I somehow make something like $20/month off Patreon. I've had small victories along the way, it hasn't been all bad, but this isn't my living and chances are low I'll ever find mass success with it. Everything I said about not taking my opinion too seriously because I'm just a random Internet guy applies to people like Rachel as well, while I criticize her work on the basis of it being a commercial product that should know better and I DEFINITELY harp on her for a lot of shit, at the end of the day she's in no way obligated to pay even a second of attention to me because she's made way more money in webcomics in the last 2-3 years than I could ever dream of making in the 10 years I've been doing this, that's something I can't take away from her and that was never the goal when it came to discussing her work. All I have to show for my own efforts is experience and rhetoric, and a few odd readers who have been around so long I wonder why they even still follow me LOL I am your typical "can never live up to the success of those who they criticize" chronically online shitposter. I don't think I should have to be on Rachel's level to be able to discuss her work, mind you, that's half the function of an audience to begin with, but it's not like I have any real legitimacy in this industry that you should worry about what I have to say. It's not like I'm capable of robbing Rachel of her awards or the money she's made lol

And by all means, go ahead and look for my fanfiction stuff, but I'm not providing any eye bleach because I wrote it when I was like, 13 years old, so search at your own risk lmao

(and if you do find it, no you didn't （︶^︶）/hj)

[zhouxiangs]

(2/2)

And the clearest example is how he’s aware of Way’s feelings for him, has been for a while, but not only is he very dismissive of them (picture their hallway conversation when Way is clearly emotional and upset and for the first time actually addresses the elephant in the room (which takes a lot of courage), only for Babe to be all ‘yeah I know – ugh did you have to actually say it out loud?? - but, like…Charlie! Now let me caress your shoulder while I reassure you we’re still best buds!’ or the way he reacts like it’s all a bit tiresome whenever someone else brings it up) - Babe makes a conscious choice to NOT discuss it with Way, and more importantly to NOT draw any boundaries tween them. At best he’s just being extremely careless with Way’s feelings, especially when he jokes about them being bfs, but at worst, one could argue that his flirtatiousness is in fact an intentional manipulation of said feelings in order to keep Way where he wants him, which is at his beck and call. Babe doesn’t care to look any deeper because there’s nothing in it for him – as long as he has Way by his side, adoring him, he’s satisfied. Any awkward niggling thoughts about how actually this probably isn’t a healthy dynamic and this guy needs to get a life outside of me and in retrospect it’s a little strange that I know literally nothing about him get pushed aside in order to maintain that status quo.

Now, unlike half the characters in this show, I’m capable of self-reflection: I know that I could extend some of the sympathy I have for Way due to his shitty past (and present) to Babe, and speculate that Babe’s selfishness, his need to keep Way with him even if it’s detrimental to Way’s wellbeing, is merely a consequence of his own shitty past, his fear of being alone; that his inability to deal with this situation is a result of his own emotional maladjustment at Tony’s hands. That’s all very likely to be true. BUT! Babe has the whole internet ready to kill for him, so sorry but he doesn’t need me to do the same! What can I say - I feel obligated to stick up for the underdog, no matter how much of a fucked up wrong’un said underdog might be! (Of course there’s also the entirely plausible possibility that all this is just the fault of shoddy writing - as long as characters keep repeating that this really is a deep and wholesome and 100% reciprocated friendship then we the audience are duty-bound to believe it!)

In conclusion (if you got this far - apologies!): Way is a pathetic but tragic character who didn’t deserve the hand he was dealt (but does deserve lifelong therapy), whose motivations are much more complex and heart-wrenching than many seem able/willing to recognise/acknowledge. Babe is selfish and a shitty friend, but that is perhaps understandable given his experiences. SA (and mind-fucking your friend) is NEVER excusable, no matter how awful your life or how bad your daddy issues; neither is it EVER the fault of the victim. All of these things can be true at the same time, and it wouldn’t hurt to remember that.

Your Honour, I rest my case!

P. S. Internet, please don't be mad at me! Everyone's of course entitled to their own opinion (variety is the spice of life and all that!) and the remaining eps might totally destroy this interpretation, but at the end of the day, it's just a show, and I'm just a socially anxious contrarian overthinker with a penchant for well-acted morally dubious pretty boys!

i think i tend to be more positive/look for the more favourable explanation and so my opinion on the hallway conversation (which: hurty) is that babe is extreeeemely unprepared to talk about feelings. which is funny because his friendship with way reads as very intense to me, and they’re pretty dramatic with their words too? but it’s clear babe has no experience in this area, both talking about it and feeling it, and it shows precisely in how careless he is with way’s feelings. and again, the jokes about being bfs babe i will hunt you down you cannot be this dense! please! but also i don’t think he would see anything unhealthy in how powerful way’s attachment to him is because i think, up until charlie showed up, they both acted like that with each other. (my poor way…)

don’t apologise! this has taken me five million hours to reply to but it has been worth every. second. and honestly while as i’ve just said i don’t totally agree with your interpretation of babe and his actions and feelings towards way i do think you make great points and can see why you’re interpreting something in a different way than i do. also i love to read what people are thinking. meta is my favourite thing in the world, so unless it’s something horrifying to me i am going to enjoy it lol

[here2bbtstrash]

announcement - ko-fi launch! ✨

hello my babes and friends 💕 i hope you all are having a fabulous new year thus far! i am coming to you with an announcement that i am equal parts excited and nervous to make! deep breath, okay~

if you want the (very) long version (y'all know how i am) i put alllllll the words under the cut, but i'll keep it short and sweet up here!

TLDR: i'm moving! and to help fund my efforts, i'm launching a TEMPORARY ko-fi donation page where y'all can send me a little cash if you feel so inclined, because this shit ain't cheap. please do NOT feel obligated to donate if you don't want to or aren't able, and understand that there are zero perks or rewards for sending me any amount in donation - except for the knowledge that you've helped your local orgasm dealer in her efforts to start her life over. 🤍

if you feel inclined to help out, you can do so at my ko-fi via this link - i will also link it in my bio thru june 1st, after which i plan to shut the page down (or when i'm done moving, whichever comes first lmao)

whether you donate or not, please know i adore you with all the horny love in my gay little heart, and i will never be able to properly express how grateful i am that you all exist and that we found each other 💜

keep reading for extremely boring personal life details 😂

as some of you may know because i absolutely like, live-tweeted my way through it, lmfao... i got out of a long-term relationship in the middle of 2022. LONGGGG term, 5.5 years, a relationship where we shared a home and got a kitten and talked about marriage and said we'd be together forever like it was a done deal. and then, it wasn't. which has been - and continues to be - really fucking hard! even though i know it was the right call, ultimately.

and the thing is, ever since that call was made, i feel like my life has been... stuck. on pause. i'm still in the same house, just without that person, without their stuff, and without my kitten (ugh 😭). i still live in the same town, and it's a town i never planned on settling down in, i just moved here for school and by the time i graduated, i somehow had a full-time job and a long-term partner and a year-long lease.

but... now i don't have that partner. now my lease is month-to-month. now the job is fully remote, and they've confirmed they have no problems with me picking up and moving wherever i want. and i've realized over the last 7 months, that i do want. i want to un-stick, to stop feeling like i have one foot in my past and one foot in my future: in short, i really, really want to get the hell out of here.

and i do know where i want to go, i'm certain of it, though for safety reasons i don't feel comfortable sharing that information just yet 💜 but the catch is, it's... over 500 miles away from where i am now - and that is a big and fucking expensive move to sort out 🥴

so! i'm taking a chance and doing a thing i never do (to a fault) and that is - ask for help. allow people to help me, lmao. and i'm doing that by setting up a ko-fi page, where anyone who has both the desire and the means to send me some cash is welcome to.

please keep in mind that this is completely, completely optional, and i really don't plan on mentioning it much after this because i don't want to make anyone who can't give feel bad. because you shouldn't! and if money's tight, or you just don't want to, or whatever - then don't! keep on enjoying the extremely free porn, and please know that i have zero intention of ever putting my writing behind a paywall.

and just to be clear: there is no reward, perk, or special thing you get for donating, so please don't ask. no, it will not encourage me to fill your request. no, i don't take commissions. if you donate and then try to hold it over my head i will refund your money because - i'm good.

however, if you do feel so inclined 🙆‍♀️ - if there's a fic living in your head that you'd like to start paying rent on, or in the words of hali, if i've ever made you wet and you want to pay the water bill (💀💀💀) - you can do so at my ko-fi via this link. i deeply deeply deeply appreciate any amount that anyone is able to give, even just a dollar! (and pls note the email address and info associated with my linked accounts is not my real name, so apologies to anyone who had a grand plan to dox me lmfao)

the page will be live thru june 1st (if i finish moving before then, i'll take it down sooner!) - i think i've stated multiple times on this blog that i work a full-time job that pays me enough to live on, and i would not feel comfortable accepting donations full-time if i didn't have this specific (and expensive 😵‍💫) goal in mind. if by some ridiculously good turn i end up receiving more funds raised than i need, i'll donate the difference to charity and share a screenshot here 💜

alright, i think i've rambled plenty. thank you all, sincerely: whether you end up donating, or reading this lengthy-ass post, or even if you did neither and you're just here. thank you. it might sound dramatic, but i do think having this blog helped save my life in 2022, and now... i'm excited to start my life in 2023, with this fresh start. SHE'S PULLING A LDOMLT READER Y'ALL EVERYBODY LOOK OUT!!! ✈️

[hardtchill]

For me it’s very similar to the other anon. I’m turning 25 this year and I’ve still not got my bachelors degree because I had to quit my first go around at uni since i physically couldn’t learn for my exams. Granted it was compounded by other issues such as depression and anxiety but i genuinely believe that a not insignificant part of those issues come from the fact that adhd makes it near impossible to organise myself (unmedicated btw).

Seeing this on my feed rn is kind of ironic since even though im in my third year of a degree that I actually enjoy now, I literally dropped out of an exam that I was supposed to write today cuz I couldn’t revise. It’s not like I didn’t have the time and I’ve known for weeks about the deadline, but with every assignment or exam I push my own boundaries further and further back until I can’t do it anymore. Last semester I crammed 84 pages worth of notes in under 48h, an exam mind you that I’d pushed back over a year and was literally my last shot or I’d not be allowed to continue with my studies. I barely slept, I was throwing up, but I somehow passed, and with a good grade at that. Since then my brain is like, well you managed to do that that one time so you can totally afford to wait until the DAY before an exam to finish it. Or write a 15 page paper in a day.

And you know what, maybe I can. But the problem is the cost. It’s killing me. I find that it’s also very isolating cuz generally people don’t have a lot of empathy for this? So I end up pulling back from everyone including my best friends until I’m at a point again where I can be around people without letting on how incredibly bad I’m doing. Or I just straight up lie so they don’t know that I’ve not done the things i said I would do.

And all this is not just within the framework of academia. It’s also impacted my wellbeing in a more general sense - cooking for myself is hard because I tend to not listen to my body’s cues until I’m on the verge of passing out cuz i forgot to eat or drink, or by the time I’m hungry I still have to make a meal so I end up ordering something cuz it’s faster. Same with showering daily or brushing your teeth. Getting any routine started in general and sticking with it. I’ve been meaning to start exercising again but I keep delaying it for no reason. I’ve worked out regularly in the past so I know it’s something that I enjoy and that makes me feel good but despite that I’m still stuck in this place of inertia? It’s awful.

I’ve talked to some friends who also have adhd about it and the inability to start something cuz it isn’t instantly gratifying or that doesn’t align with an interest but is an obligation is quite common. Can I binge 7 seasons of a reality show in a week if it really interests me? Hell yeah! (I do watch everything at 2x speed cuz everyone talks too slow lmao but still). Will i fly through a massive book and literally forego sleeping if it means getting through more of it if im really invested? Absolutely. 1500 puzzle? Massive Lego set? Yep! Taking notes from a textbook for an assignment? Literally kill me right now.

I’m sorry for this long ass message and idek if you’re gonna read all of this but yeah just wanted to share my experience. Adhd is absolutely not quirky or a superpower and I wish there was a better understanding of it out there because it makes me my own worst enemy every day.

Ugh anon i feel you so much. I have skipped on many an exam during my bachelors because i just couldn't concentrate, focus or start revision. It's completely miserable to literally see the time go by where you feel the stress but you just cannot get your brain to start on what you need to do.

Any time i told teachers and now colleagues that i work well with deadlines i get told i'm not motivated enough because if i was i wouldn't need deadlines. That's just so unfair! My brain is graving dopamine, it's not laziness that my brain does this, it's literally just ADHD.

This is the same reason why your brain (usually) jumps into action when that crippling anxiety hits, because you're so close to a deadline that your brain can smell the dopamine.

The only reason that i finished my 6 month thesis is because i had many mini deadlines during those 6 months. I felt the anxiety to finish a part of it every month and i had a teacher who was very nice and gave you compliments when you did (DOPAMINE). If i didn't have that i would still be writing my thesis now.

ADHD is so misunderstood by so many people. It affects every part of your life and the negative consequences are so much bigger and impactful than the potential positive outcomes. I mean yeah i'm creative and can think fast, awesome but that doesn't make up for the anxiety, stress and grief you go through anytime your brain just doesn't want to start something.

[secretwhumplair]

Oops

1,495 words | Royal arms (sequel to Waiting)

Content | Captivity, conditioning, fear of punishment, implied pet whump, angsssst

Notes | Nelisa and Lint are both so brave in this. The pertinent part is from Lint's POV and he's very busy with himself, so I feel obliged on Nelisa's behalf to point out she started her career as a scullery maid with no prospects and is talking to a literal king.

So much of this entire situation would be improved if Idalis and Arracen would just stop assuming the absolute worst of each other lol. I debated not posting this before Arracen's next part all the better to wallow in angsty ignorance with him, but I have faith in your sympathetic abilities^^

Taglist | @whumpy-writings @cupcakes-and-pain @whumpzone @newbornwhumperfly @nicolepascaline @thegreatwhodini @neverthelass @wolfeyedwitch @onlybadendings @quietshae @whumpcreations @whumpydaydreams @whumpsy-daisy @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @kixngiggles @tears-and-lilies @melancholy-in-the-morning @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @whump-cravings

Idalis didn’t think he would ever tire of the sweet taste of victory. The rush of the battle alone was worth it, really, but victory - ah, he could bask in it forever.

This one had only been a matter of time. Endalsgard was a small country, and while Arracen had put up a decently brave fight, he must have known he never really stood a chance.

They were on their way to the capital now, the former king captive and carefully separated from his generals. Now that the excitement of the battle had mostly worn off, Idalis would have felt bad for putting his sword to Arracen’s throat just to see the fear in his eyes, but, he reminded himself, there was no reason to.

He kept a human as a pet.

It was one step up from a weapon, Idalis supposed, but it was not good enough.

The rumours weren’t wholly unequivocal on the matter - some said he had taken the pet from Thobrinos to free him. But Idalis wasn’t naive enough to believe that. Clearly, his people wanted to think the best of Arracen, but soon they would see him for what he was, Idalis would make sure of it.

The next day, the exhilaration of victory had been wholly replaced by sore muscles and the dreary task ahead: rearrange the court and government, accept the loyalty of those who would offer it, decide what to do with those who wouldn’t.

Cassio had a half-smirk on his lips when, after a long day, he accompanied him back up to the King’s suite, where he had made himself comfortable. The rooms would need redecorating, too; Arracen’s taste wasn’t much of anything, even bad, just terribly dull. Maybe he was playing at modesty.

It hadn’t even been a particularly successful day. Arracen’s court wasn’t unreasonable, but they were loyal, and even those who were willing to be pragmatic about this warned that the people loved their former king.

»You hate this part, don’t you?«

»I’m glad for your help,« Idalis growled irritably, unwilling to admit it was just so. This was a part of being a king, being a ruler, and he would not let himself be called a bad one for disliking it.

»There’s one more thing.«

»Ugh.« Idalis was just about ready to drop himself into what had been Arracen’s bed, preferably together with Cassio, and forget all this for a few hours. Instead, he straightened himself. No one could say he wasn’t taking his duties seriously. »What is it?«

»Arracen’s… hm. Lovers. The two he put up in the consort’s rooms. One of them is the pet, I hear.«

»Oh! The pet. Of course.« It was a testament to how worn out he was, Idalis thought, that this had actually slipped his mind. The whole reason he had Arracen dishonourably thrown into the dungeons instead of even considering negotiations.

Compared to most of the day’s proceedings, it was downright invigorating. Surely the poor thing was frightened, with his »master« gone and possibly no one to take care of him.

»Let’s go then.«

»Maybe take a guard?« Cassio proposed in exasperated tones. »We don’t know what they might be capable of.«

Exasperated, but fond - there was no mistaking it. Idalis threw him his smile, and called upon the guards.

The fact that Cassio had spoken of two people only really registered when they already walked into the consort’s quarters.

They were sitting together by the window, holding hands, although the woman immediately got up when they entered, and let the man’s hand slip with the movement. He followed her example, his eyes wide.

There was no doubt which of the two was the pet. There was a practiced elegance to the man’s movements, with an air of submission that was hard to pinpoint, perhaps in the tilt of his head or the hint of a ghostly smile when there was no reason for one.

Deference was only right, of course, when dealing with their new king, but there was something more unsettling underneath it.

And the woman - well, she didn’t show none, she dropped into a brief bow, and she was certainly frightened, but at the same time she seemed to be steeling herself as if for a fight.

»Good evening.« Idalis eyed her curiously - she was reasonably fine-looking, but not something that would have caught a princes’ eye on its own, so he wondered what her hidden qualities must be.

Nonetheless, he was here for the pet, so he would handle her quickly and move on. »You are Arracen’s lover, then?«

She hesitated noticeably before she replied, »Yes, your Majesty.« She had a strong Skalasian accent; she, too, must have been taken from Thobrinos’ when Arracen left there. »My name is Nelisa. This is Lint.«

Lint. As if that were a name. Vicious fury caught in his throat, but for the benefit of the pet, he kept it down. He would have time to deal with the woman later - and with Arracen. »You’re the pet,« he said gently, preparing to present him with the fact it wasn’t so.

After Ainsel, he wasn’t expecting him to believe it at once, but-

* Lint could feel his heart freeze up, could feel muscle memory relax to show none of his discomfort, could feel a smile tug at his lips to protect him.

»No,« he whispered, his hands trembling too hard not to be noticeable - he was being so bad, a voice from the depths of his mind, fought down but never quite vanquished, said - but Arracen - Nelisa too - but given the givens, he especially owed it to Arracen. »No, I’m not a pet.«

He was so, so bad. He would be punished, he knew it, and gruesomely, and that would be right. This would have been one thing to say to Arracen or Nelisa - though even that thought seemed alien right now - but to this stranger, who, moreover, had already told him otherwise? He was lying, he was talking back, he was so bad.

Arracen had stolen him, it wasn’t true, he was a pet and he was being bad, and Arracen had been defeated and wasn’t here to protect him-

»No!«

He almost fliched at Nelisa’s voice. She rarely raised her voice, and right now? She had bowed to this man. Rationality hammering at the borders of his thoughts, he knew they had talked about how scary this all was, and this was the man - king - who was the reason.

Yet she spoke up; even her hastily tacked on »your Majesty,« could not take away from that.

»He is not a pet.«

He was so relieved to hear it from someone else’s mouth. He couldn’t say those things, but Nelisa, being human, was allowed.

He was human too. That was what this was all about. He was human too, and he had to remember it.

»Really?« The new king cocked his head and sized him up. »I heard that Arracen kept a pet, and you seem an awful lot like one.«

»I - I was, your Majesty.« His voice trembled like the way it never should, unless his master - it trembled an awful lot. Still, this was easier to say than the other thing. At least he acknowledged the past. »He brought me here. Arracen, I mean.«

»He took us with him when he left Skalasia.« He was glad Nelisa took over the talking. »He did not want Lint to - continue living like that.« Then she stepped forward, and fell on her knees. »Please don’t undo that, your Majesty. Take me if you must.«

Lint’s heart seemed to stop. »No - Nelisa-«

The king’s eyes flitted between them. He seemed very much like a mere human in that moment. »You’re not a pet.«

Lint shook his head. He couldn’t say it again, even after Nelisa offered herself up to save him, and he did not feel like a very good human, either.

The king spread his hands. »Well, shit.«

The lips of the man next to him - the famous Cassio, Lint presumed - twitched. »How would you like to proceed, my king?«

»Are arrangements such that you are taken care of?« The king seemed genuinely upset, and Lint could not pinpoint why. It wasn’t the sort of upset he would have expected from him being such a bad - no, refusing to be a pet.

He shivered at the thought.

»Yes, your Majesty,« Nelisa answered, sounding as confused as Lint felt.

»Very well. Stay here. You are not to leave the castle until I decide what to do with you.«

»Yes, your Majesty,« Nelisa repeated, but the king had already turned and was storming off, followed by his entourage.

The moment the door closed behind them, Nelisa rushed to Lint and pulled him into her arms.

He melted into her embrace. His heart still raced. A part of him wanted to hear he had done good, but he didn’t need to; he didn’t.

He was not a pet.

[insfiringyou]

https://at.tumblr.com/insfiringyou/if-they-werent-famous-and-i-just-met-them-as/1rppr5j62lrb

trueee, but like what makes me love yoongi it’s not only his personality, but also how he views things and he deals with them. He’s not just a really good boyfriend he’s a good human in general. I mean, he’s patient, comprehensive, selfless… I mean this man does so many good things and IT’S GENUINE, like the part where his gf sit on his face for the first time: “with him it never felt like he was returning a favor or performing a chore” I MEAN 😭😭😭😭 most guys definitely act in bed like everything is returning favors, “if I did that you’ll have to do and vice versa” or they do it because they want to boost their ego like “Yeah look how skilled I am 😎” with yoongi is so beautiful because he does it simply because he likes it and wants to see her feel good it doesn’t matter if she will return or not (thank god he found jeongsun because she’s also like this sometimes) and most important he’s honest and vulnerable on the relationship. He’s so emotionally responsible, he never lets his frustrations and insecurities get in the way of things or lashes out to others (specially his object of love Jeongsun). like he was cheated on by his ex he could have turn into a total jerk with the excuse of “yeah someone was shitty to me and now I’m gonna be shitty with the rest of the people because I’ve been a good guy and only got disappointed” or play with his next partner’s feelings because “ugh I’m so traumatized by relationships so I’m gonna use my insecurities as an excuse to be an asshole because yeah it’s you who gotta fix me” (let’s be honest 99,9% of the guys act/would act like this 🤡) this is one of the proofs that he’s a kind human in general, he’s not good because he expects something in return he’s good simply because he is and he knows that no one has anything to do with his personal problems I mean ofc he would like if someone helps him to get through something difficult times, but he would never think that this is someone’s obligation. Also since he’s responsible emotionally I think he understands himself so he would never fall in love with a fantasy (like “I love her because she’s my savior” or simply because he’s lonely and that makes him desperate to find someone and he falls for any person who’s a potential perfect love for him) he falls for the PERSON, the actual person, the human that’s with him… this is so wholesome and I really wish people would give more thought to their emotions to avoid this kind of situations because honestly this is one of the main reasons why people are always disappointed with each other.

Anyways… Yoongi in your universe is an amazing, sweet, gentle, caring soul. I’ll cry myself to sleep every night dreaming with him lmfao

I know this is an old ask so don't know if you will even see this, but this really solidifies how we intend to show Yoongi (and Jeong-sun) in their relationship. I also think, in part, it is why we chose to write his earlier encounter with Kim, who was one of his first serious girlfriends, who did cheat on him. In a way, we feel it is such an important experience and also shapes who he is a lot. You may have noticed him (very very briefly) mention her, though not by name, to Jeong-sun. He never mentions the cheating. He never says a bad thing about her. It is always just tiny anecdotes - blink and you'll miss it. He wasn't bitter about it. He was sad for a long time, but it hasn't shaped how he views women, or relationships. It was just a bad experience, with someone who made a bad mistake.

I also agree with the not falling in love with a fantasy part. He did come close, around the time of the fic 'Stranded' (when he initially proposed to Jeong-sun and she turned him down) and in the few fics leading up to that. He was under a lot of pressure, from the group, from his desire to be 'normal' and make his unintentionally secret relationship work, that he ended up romanticising his relationship in a way which wasn't fair on either of them, and was, in part, the reason she had to break up with him. When they meet again, some years later, he approaches it with the respect it deserves, and is self-aware that if they are going to make it work properly he needs to take a step back and do it for the right reasons.

However, he fell in love with her for her, both times. And she him. For us as writers, them falling in love all over again was actually more special in a way, and I think just as exciting if not more, for readers. I held my breath when their hands skimmed again for the first time...and then both of us cried!

[bradshawsbitch]

🥺 That was so nice of you to say, you're so sweet and nice and iwbshdjsonenfjiejr

Also do you think that rooster/jake/bob would get a tattoo (or more) of something special to them and the reader?

Also also unholy thot #2: if the space in the cockpit were bigger would any of the tgm squad do the deed there with their special someone 👀

ALSO this is an unrelated q but if you were part of the dagger squad what would your callsign be? In my head my character (i prefer making chars that can fit into scenarios vs imagining myself) would have either 'Duchess' or 'Vixen'

Ily pls don't feel obligated to answer ALL of these 'alsos' if you don't feel like it ❤️

oof!! you’re sweet too to send me some thoughts! and I really am glad to hear you’re feeling better. If you ever need to vent, my inbox is open!💞

I actually feel like Bob might get a matching tattoo? I have some friend tattoos, I have one of the moon, like so many other people, but I really like the sentiment of it being a source of light in the darkness - so maybe Bob and his significant other would get that together? Ugh, now I’m soft thinking about Bob looking all bashful and proud every time he sees his tattoo. He’d look at it and think of his so when he’s deployed🥹🥹 I feel like Rooster might show love a different way, and I don’t peg Jake as a tattoo kind of guy? (He doesn’t wanna mess up the canvas too bad) but please share your thoughts!! What kind of tattoo do you think Jake/Rooster would get?🥰

Akansksk I mean, I feel like Jake would be tempted but also I think they’re all too much of good boys to fuck with such expensive equipment. On commercial flights however… it’s fair game. Jake would 100% try to convince you to let him do a quickie in the galley (literally out in the open, like the kitchen area🤦🏻‍♀️) when the FA’s are on break. Rooster would want to join the mile high in the bathroom for sure.

Ohhh those are both really cool!! I understand that. Sometimes I really just read and think up a character myself. And my initial reaction is, as always, to be funny - so my first thought of my call sign was “Dumbass” but on a more serious note I’d love something cool, when in all reality I’d probably end up with something akin to Fanboy (because I’m such a nerd). I did write a blurb with a character called Dove which I liked. What call sign would you give me? (You’re allowed to say dumbass😉)

[wonkyjaw]

Spending my nights off from work writing between 8-10k words for a fic I started posting like half a year ago and then promptly abandoned because I recognized some difficult to come back from flaws. So now I’ve caught up to the word count I had previously and added a whole extra chapter in the meantime. I don’t know if I necessarily like it more, but I’m building the foundation to the chapters I really do want to write in this very crackfic feeling crossover. But I keep binge writing what I can get down because I feel bad for not having posted anything since august. This is why I feel the need to never post fics until their done and also the reason my OneNote is a fic graveyard full of AUs I swear to myself I’ll come back to. This just happens to be the one I jumped the gun on and now feel obligated to finish. It’s also the one I don’t know how to get from point a to point b in. Ugh.

[lixies-favorite-cookie]

CookieCreates ✩ A Guide to the Kitchen

Before you enter the kitchen → ❝Please know that I am not obligated to accept a request. I will try to accept as many requests as I can simply to broaden my horizons and grow as an author, but some things I just won't want to write. I do not take smut requests, now suggestive I am willing to do, but the nitty gritty stuff I am embarrassingly bad at so I just don't write it. Now, for every other genre, I am like 99.9 percent more likely to accept your request. Please feel free to request anything, as long as it's not on my hard nos. I will let you know if I don't feel comfortable writing your request.❞

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Welcome my pretties to cookies kitchen *ੈ✩‧₊˚

◦ Members I really like to write for (aka my biases) → Han Jisung, Felix, and Bangchan

◦ Members I kind of write for (based on random inspiration and if somebody wants me to write for them) → Hyunjin, Minho, Seungmin, I.N (ngl he's a borderline bias, Changbin

*ੈ✩‧₊˚My Biggest kinks*ੈ✩‧₊˚

◦ HUMILIATION → This one! This one! This one! Is one of my biggest kinks and will probably be drabbled in a little bit of everything I write, even if it just makes the boys blush a bit. 🤭

◦ VIRGIN BOYS→ This one probably has something to do with my humiliation kink, but a guy who's an awkward, stuttering, stammering virgin just gets me going. 

◦ SUBBY BOYS→ Prettyyyy self-explanatory if you ask me.

◦ BOYS CUMMING THIER PANTS→ ngl I get really embarrassed about this, but like, ITS SO HOT KNOWING THEY CANT CONTROL THEMSELVES AROUND ME

*ੈ✩‧₊˚Things i love writing*ੈ✩‧₊˚

◦ ANGST→ I'm a sucker for some good angst. I love to rip your heart apart, then sew it back together. P.S. If your going to request this and you want a specific ending, please say so because if not, it will most likely be happy, and if I want to change it, I will ask you first, but if your annonoymas... idk what to tell you. 

◦ FLUFF → again I'm a sucker for some tooth-rotting fluff.

◦ AWKWARDNESS AND REALISTIC SITUATIONS → As we all know, I recently wrote a fic about Felix's voice cracking in the middle of having sex with the reader (and if you didn't, I veryyy discreetly linked it, so you should check it out). I really like writing stuff like this because it takes celebrities off of this pedestal that they are all awesome sex gods who know exactly what they are doing, and that really creates an unhealthy mindset that that's all sex is. Virgins that know exactly what they're doing their first time, and all love confessions are perfect on the first go, but that's not life, so I like to sprinkle that in some of my fics sometimes.

◦ HURT AND COMFORT→ I'll say it once, and I'll say it again. I LOVE RIPPING PEOPLES HEARTS OUT JUST TO SEW THEM BACK TOGETHER. 

◦ LOVE CONFESSIONS → I love writing vicariously through my characters, knowing I'm probably never going to experience a dramatic love confession in the rain. *sigh*

◦ SICK FICS → I love sick fics. idk if this goes to hurt and comfort, but I love writing about the boys helping the readers on her period or when shes sick. 

◦ FEM!READER → Only thing I'm willing to write. I may do GN!reader but Idk yet.

◦ HARD TOPICS → Anything discussing rape, EDs, suicide, or self-harm—you get the idea—hard topics geared toward angst/ hurt or comfort—I'm willing to write. 

◦ Dom!Skz → hear me out if I'm in a subby mood sometimes I just want a good soft!dom felix

honestly I'm willing to write for anything that isnt in my hard no section

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Hard No's *ੈ✩‧₊˚

◦ MALE!READER → As a woman, I would have no idea how to write for a male, and also I just don't like it.

◦ ANYTHING SCAT → don't like it not for me

◦ BOYPUSSY → don't like it not my cup of tea

(hehe see what I did there I rhymed)

◦ ANYTHING CNC OR RAPE PLAY → ugh I'm kinda iffy on this. If you want to, you can send me a hard thought or an idea, but no promises. 

◦ DADDY KINKS → ngl I cant think about calling anybody daddy expcept for bangchan and my father.

◦ INSEST → no comment.

◦ MEMBERXMEMBER → Threesomes are okay (depends on the threesome honestly) but it kind of goes with the male reader thing, I wouldn't know how to write it very well.

◦ YANDRERE → honestly this just scares me-

◦ DEGRADATION → Honestly, this one isn't that hard of one, so if you want to send me an idea, maybe, but no promises, I'll feel comfortable enough to write about it. 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ❝Is there anything you wanna add?❞*ੈ✩‧₊˚

◦ i really like long detailed asks it keeps me from getting scared that I'm not writing what you want me to and also keeps me from going on long rambles about shit that isn't even what you wanted.

◦ any sort of disrespectful comment or rude remarks will be reported and blocked immediately without a second thought your opinion will not be shared so what the point.

◦ if anyone has any questions/concerns about anything feel free to ask me :)

◦ this is a judge-free zone so feel free to send me your wildest fantasies and sweetest dreams

◦ my talk box you can send me anything and everything I love interacting with you guys so please send me a thought or just a kind message and I will try to talk to you as soon as I can

◦ Have fun my lovelies <3

Travel back to Navigation if you want to see more of Cookies Kitchen

~CookieCreates🍪

©CookieCreates (posted: June, 5th 2024) All rights reserved. Do not translate, copy, or claim my works as yours! I only post on this platform so if any of my works are elsewhere, report and notify me immediately.