#ugh i need out of my head
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moonlightpirate · 2 years ago
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Here I am laying in bed desperately waiting for him to message me as if it'll be confirmation I didn't scare him away last night
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teaboot · 4 months ago
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
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birdhand-arts-extra-chaos · 7 months ago
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sat down with full intent to do something else but the gravity falls brainworms are back in full force
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jadelover69 · 4 months ago
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is this anything
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based off of this
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LMAOOO
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sicksorrows · 1 month ago
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nanami is the type of person to prefer giving you head rather than sex
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chasing-clovers · 26 days ago
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malik nabers at lsu’s pro day (2024) ✨
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crowsdonthavemanners · 3 months ago
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puppppppppy · 3 months ago
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OWWWWWW
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cerubean · 2 years ago
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finished my horse ranch gp sims and yes they have unnecessary extensive lore that only matters to me
in order left to right
sullivan (sully) nakai: animal lover, green fiend, serious
jacquelyn (jack) loloma: loner, genius, overachiever
mackenzie (mack) loloma: daredevil
**(i might change some of these traits idk)
sully and jack were childhood friends and eventually fell in love as they became teens. unexpectedly, they became teen parents to mackenzie, and shortly after graduation they got married.
as the years passed a feeling of resentment grew within jack. she loved sully (and still does,) but she didn't want to become complacent in life and give up her dreams of going to law school. naturally, sully and jack grew apart; they wanted different things in life. she wanted to venture outside of her hometown and live in the city, and sully perfectly content tending to his late father's ranch with his brother.
so, they got divorced and jack left with mackenzie to live in san myshuno. sully is someone who doesn't regret anything in life, but sometimes he wishes that he had fought harder to keep mackenzie in his life. their relationship is quite strained now that mack is older and also due to the distance. with jack's busy schedule as a lawyer they don't go back to visit often, so they mostly communicate through the occasional video call when mack isn't too busy terrorizing her classmates at school.
now that mack's out of school for the summer, jacquelyn feels it would be best for her daughter to spend her summer vacation on the ranch with her dad. she'll get a chance to have some quality time with sully and bond with him and also learn some discipline (hopefully).
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anyways that's all i could think of lore wise, can you beleive that this is the short version!! i suck at summarizing pls forgive me lol
if you read all of this then i appreciate you so much bc wow i really do just be talkin.
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schnaf · 8 months ago
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day 23 aka THE COUNTDOWN IS OVER - jungsu's past birthday brrrr ppoppos
#xdinary heroes#jungsu#kim jungsu#jun han#junhan#jooyeon#gunil#ode#gaon#han hyeongjun#lee jooyeon#goo gunil#oh seungmin#kwak jiseok#jungsu23#forfreddy#HAPPY BIRTHDAY! may you have a lovely one with many kisses ♥#(ugh i was worried they'd stop this tradition and i would have been so sad about it. but now they HAVE to keep going ♥)#it's time for another concert story. or rather post-concert story.#so i did this photo thingie but when it was over and we walked out....... i completely forgot to look at the guys. i had my head down#(it was all so fast and i was struggling carrying my stuff so i didn't pay attention to .... well paying attention)#but then i walked past jungsu and i could FEEL him looking at me. his look was so intense and i don't mean this in a delulu way#this isn't me claiming we were meant to be. it's about him and he's got this.... presence. this aura. and it's very captivating#and intense (in a good way) and i was SO impressed and i still think about it#and what it was like when the other members met him for the first time (especially shy hyeongjun)#now to my more general impression. i feel like he's very intense overall? like he can probably get really angry and really bitchy#but he also loves intensely. and he loves his bois so much and cares about them so much#and i'm so glad he found a group where it fits so well. where he's one of the oldest and he can take care of the younger ones....#but also there's a leader who isn't an autocrat - who needs support too who doesn't want to carry all the weight on his own#who's willing to share the burden. and jungsu is right there at gunil's side without judging him. he's just very lovely and ♥♥♥ hbd jungsu
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peteytheparrot · 6 months ago
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Every single video on comics says to not make your magnum opus first but I CANT TAKE IT ANYMOREEEE I NEED TO MAKE A FIREFLY FOUNDATIONS COMICCC GUUAAAAHHHHH-
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nox-sssscraps · 1 year ago
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Gawd I’m. it’s 4:20am and I’ve been listening to exclusively the new 21 savage album since it dropped last night and I’m thinking abt my ocs . And spacewaffles I suppose
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satoruxx · 2 months ago
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HE TOOK HIS GLASSES OFF IN!!! BETWEEN!!!! THE KISS!!!!!!!!
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sysig · 3 months ago
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Coding woes (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Ukadevlog#Bug testing sure is something lol#These are both problems I've figured out now luckily! And I did them on my own! :D Extra pleased with myself :3#My slightly cocky attitude of ''Well that was frustrating - luckily I'll never run into another problem again'' amuses me lol#'Cause in the moment everything's flying! The code comes together lovely and it's all great! And then I come up to the next thing#Something I haven't done before - something that there's no Direct how-to of how to do a thing#Like setting player-and-character pronouns! I didn't know how to do that! But I figured it out!! :0 What a rush haha#It really did take me an evening of knocking my head against the wall in attempts - I waaaayyy overcomplicated it to start haha#I was like - trying to set up a system that would call on specific pronoun sets individually based on player input#Ridiculous - so much easier to just slap some values into an envelope and have those tied to a specific shell lol#But that took all night! I got sleepy while working on it and even my drowsy brain was like Wait...what am I supposed to check against? Haha#Such a weird experience subconsciously as well :0 'Cause I had normal dreams that night#Maybe some slight code-adjacent dreams of A Screen With Text On It but that could be anything :P#Most of it was just normal dream melodrama - but in the few times I woke up to readjust or roll over or pull my blanket#It was juuuuust enough for my ''conscious'' brain to kick in and think about what to compare against - what structure would work#And so by the time I woke up proper I had to frantically write down a bunch of code in a spare word document so I wouldn't go stir crazy lol#Breakfast must wait! Dailies must wait! I Have to write this down!!#And when I implemented it - it worked exactly as I hoped it would and is much much Muuuuuch simpler to call upon haha#Wow! That was a weird fluke that definitely won't happen again! Haha#I don't actually believe that I just have no way of guessing which aspect will trip me up - This Should Be Easy! And then it isn't lol#Definitely didn't predict the second - Especially because other than a small roadbump of not knowing how to Shell-Switch (ty again Cherry ♥)#Everything up to then was going well and everything after that was going fine! Until The One Thing happened pffbtl#I wanted to assign a value to check if a specific piece of code was being called upon - basically a fork between two outcomes#That went fine! The value Was changing! But only the first fork was being called???#No lol I just didn't put the second = ugh pft - and what's more frustrating is that I'd been using == up to that point!! I'd been warned!!!!#I - for some reason - was convinced that using && would make the value check Only need to check If x = 1... That's not how it works......#It's an If statement! If x = 1 then why do I have to check IF x == 1! Just check!!! Hwagh rules and whatnot lol#Like I said it's all fixed now but sheesh! What a silly mistake! I knew better!! And now I double know better haha
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sarriakadijah · 8 months ago
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This place is best shunned and left uninhabited.
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gardening--tools · 2 months ago
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🐶.
perhaps the reason this sickness is hanging on is in part due to the fact i have to rescue the puppies from being put outside to sleep at night. they don’t have their second coats yet!!! they can’t be outside at night!!! in winter!!!! it’s sub freezing let’s use our fucking brains!!!
#i’m literally about to scream#because why did you get puppies if you didn’t want to put in puppy work#no i know why it’s because pop’s staunch refusal that rules apply to him and his aversion to being told what to do are rearing their ugly#heads here. and his anti-vax ‘i can fight covid with vitamins’ tendencies.#and do not get me started on my mother. ‘i agree they can’t be outside’ my ASS#they’re literally babies they need to be raised like babies and that means an interrupted sleep schedule if they need to pee in the night#oh but if we look at how we were raised maybe this is how you think babies are raised oop-#nobody worry about them btw i’m just going to do it#this issue is at a tail end of several other issues brought up by the holidays so whatever it’s fine#i knew i was going to have to do this it’s fineeee#i mean. this is coming from the folks who laugh about accidentally burning chicks to death. as if it was a teehee haha oopsie#instead of the horrifyingly upsetting example of gross negligence and general disregard of life that it is.#jfc this probably sounds insane to people who don’t know the deep and intricately woven lore of my family. and it is! insane!#being an adult living at home is totally fine and not at all harmful to my mental health :) why are u asking :)#diary posting#ugh anyway. i say all this here because if i called them deeply cruel and disturbed people to their faces they might kick me out. and i#✨can’t afford to do that rn✨
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