#ugh i literally need feedback from this guy who’s sitting too far away from me to ask and No im Not getting up to go talk to him

[a-dotrivenitupontop]

I NEED TO DO MY WORK! BUT I DONT WANT TO!!! *death lasers*

[miekasa]

random armin/mikasa/jean headcanons (college au)

↯ pairing: armin x (fem) reader, mikasa x (fem) reader, jean x (fem) reader

↯ genres and warnings: college au, fluff, lets see how many times i can mention eren in writing that has absolutely nothing to do with him

↯ notes: this.... probably won’t be a regular thing, i don’t know that i can consistently continue writing for them, but this sure was fun and reminded me that i actually have feelings for someone other than levi :// didn’t ask for that, but here we are

ARMIN ARLERT

Would most likely get pretty good grades, but he can definitely be lazy about it and hear me out.

If it’s a class that he likes and is genuinely interested in (which is the majority of them), he’s going to put in the work—sometimes too much work—to make sure he’s doing well. He usually studies very meticulously, and stays on top of his game throughout the semester.

But if it’s one of those bs classes the university makes you take, or some kind of stupid elective that was the only course that could fit into his schedule? Well, Armin is smart enough to bullshit his way through anything, so he’s not going to exert himself for a class he doesn’t even care about. 

Oh, and he’s very vocal about complaining to you about said bullshit courses. (Completely justified, go off king).

“I swear sometimes the TA just lowers marks randomly to ‘keep the class average.’ Granted, I didn’t really study for the quiz, so I wasn’t expecting a stellar grade or anything, but I know they do that sometimes.” “Well, babe, why didn’t you study.” “Because I hate it, (Y/N).”

Like I said, takes school seriously and tries his best; but even he knows he doesn’t have to be at 100% all the time. It’s also kind of a flex how smart he is and how much he can get by on doing the absolute bare minimum.

Poor Connie is studying his ass off for their shared elective and Armin barely looked at the first page of the textbook, and he’ll probably get a 90 anyways.

Imagine he’s so caught up with his other classes, he actually forgets about a midterm for his stupid elective, and at first he’s freaking out, so you kind of have to remind him of who tf he is. You finally get him to relax and he blinks at you, “Oh right, I didn’t study because I didn’t have to haha nice.�� 

Helps you prepare for presentations by letting you practice them in front of him. Actually gives good feedback, but sometimes he’s just watching you and not really listening.

Sometimes, you have to be the one to remind him to take a step back and take care of himself, before his schoolwork. He doesn’t like to worry you, and likely feels guilty when he sees you walking up to him in the library at 2am; so he won’t fight you on it, and just lets you help him pack up all his stuff and head home for the day.

Likes head massages. Maybe sometimes has faked a little bit of a headache to get you to massage his head and play with his hair. He’ll never tell.

If you rub his cheek while he’s laying on top of you, he will knock out like a baby. Almost immediately. It’s a surefire way to get him to go to sleep.

Schedules dates with you, and plans them out meticulously. Sometimes gets playful and sends you a whole ass e-vite.

“Armin, why do I have an email invitation for our date to the library?” “So that you don’t forget, of course.” “How could I forget, it’s later today, and you’re literally helping me study for my midterm.” “With popcorn!”

Probably the type to get a job on campus. You and your friends come to visit him when he’s on shift and annoy him. He secretly likes it.

Oh, he’s kind of shady. Scratch that, can be very shady. He complains about school to you, but also just complains to you in general; he doesn’t outwardly do that a lot, but you’re his confidant.

Sometimes you get surprised and call him out on it and you’re like “Oh my god, Armin, the poor girl didn’t mean to mess up the project,” and he’s like “Well. Sometimes people are idiots and it has to be said.”

Has a bad habit of rolling his eyes and he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. “Did you just roll your eyes at me.” “I don’t know, did I?” Bye.

His hands are always covered in some kind of ink/markings. Accidental brushes of his pens, streaks from his highlighters or markers, a little bit of lead from his pencil along the side of his palm.

Speaking of which, he strikes me as the kind of guy to keep a bullet journal. Not necessarily decked out and fancy with Polaroids and extravagant fonts; but definitely neat, and decorated to some extent, depending on how he’s feeling. It makes him feel organized.

He would pencil in important dates and markers of your relationship into said journal. “Friday night: museum date—remember to buy the tickets in advance.”

If anyone is going to buy, wash, peel, and cut up fruit for you, it’s going to be Armin.

Lowkey tutoring all of his friends, and might be the sole reason that Connie hasn’t dropped out yet. He likes tutoring you the most, though. 

Get this, sometimes he asks you to tutor him, even if he knows damn well he doesn’t need it. Maybe he’ll even sign up for a stupid elective if it’s a class you’ve taken before, just to have an excuse to get you to teach him something. 

Likes trying new things with you. He might not always like the new things that you try, but he’s open to trying them at least once. Well… most things anyways. Just don’t ask him to get up at dawn and go jogging with you.

I genuinely cannot tell if he would be a morning person or not. Maybe mid-morning. Probably not a rise-and-shine at 6am kind of guy, but is up by at least 10:00am every day. Very cute when he’s groggy though, and stumbles around a bit like a baby deer when he first gets up, especially if he’s hungry.

He likes to bike. And really likes when you go on bike rides with him. As long as you both are on your own bikes, you learned the hard way that tandem biking isn’t cut out for you.

Knows that all-nighters aren’t good for you, but sometimes you have to pull them anyways. If you both have a lot to get done, he’ll stay up with you and make sure you both take breaks and drink water.

Can twirl his pens in that really fast and fancy way, and can do the thing where he rolls it between all his fingers too. I’ll let you think bout the implications of that for yourself.

He likes watching cartoons, and reels you into all his favorites. Definitely likes to stay in on weekends watching cartoons with you and just chilling.

Will go to a party with you if you ask, or if his friends are hosting, but nothing beyond that. You didn’t hear this from me, but he’d probably like to smoke more than drink.

Sometimes you think he needs a break and you commission Eren to take him out for the night, but Armin still comes back looking more composed than him. A little sleepy and maybe a bit out of it, but not sloshed, much to your disappointment. “Eren, you really couldn’t have tried to be more a bad influence?? I was counting on you!!”

Eren’s confused, like, “Did you want me to get him white boy wasted??” “Yeah, kinda!! It’s what he deserves every once in a while. Ugh, next time I’m calling in Sasha, she knows how to drink.”

By the way, if you’re dating Armin, you’re kind of dating (or at least babysitting) Eren too. Or vice versa. Either way, they will also go on dates without you. (“Hanging out. We’re hanging out, and I’m tutoring him so he doesn’t fail Biology, (Y/N).” “Likely story, ocean eyes.”)

Can be touchy in a very absentminded way. He’ll reach out to play with your ears/earrings, habitually rub at your shoulders if you’re standing in front of him, mindlessly toy with the ends of your clothing. Half the time he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, he’s so cute.

Plays one sport—is on the soccer team. It keeps him busy, and forces him to focus on something that isn’t academics once in a while. He’s pretty good at it, too; he and Eren make a good team when they play together.

You and Eren tried to get him to join the baseball team too. Eren, because he likes playing with Armin. You, because, well… the uniforms. He would look so good in the uniform.

MIKASA ACKERMAN

Makes her classes look like a breeze, even though it’s at least 300 pages of reading and writing per week.

Kind of gives me Elle Woods “What, like it’s hard?” kind of vibes when it comes to schoolwork. You’re in awe of how she just did 75 pages of reading with a tiny ass font in one sitting, and she just blinks at you like “Was it supposed to be difficult?”

Speaking of which, she likes to read in general; for leisure, outside of her school work. She’ll recommend you books, too. If you don’t like to read, she’ll still try and rope you in with shorter stories, or just read them aloud to you herself. 

Sits at a table across from you while you both do your schoolwork independently. It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a quiet, almost implicit sense of intimacy that she really likes.

Bundles you up when it’s cold, and won’t take no for an answer. You will wear a hat, whether you like it or not.

Always prepared—and by that I mean, she carries things on her that she realizes you might need. Tissues, extra pens, an extra pair of mittens. She strikes me as the kind of person to pay attention to details like those.

Likes to walk you to class, even if her class is very far away from your building. She doesn’t mind.

On that note, she knows your schedule pretty well, where it pertains to classes and personal interests.

If you’re the type of person who can slack off or even just get caught up in other things when it comes to school work, she’ll be there to keep you on track and hold you accountable. Usually through setting aside times to study with you, but can even be through small things like asking you how your assignment is going.

(Nevermind that you completely forgot about the assignment, and hadn’t even started it—but that’s the point; she knew that).

Hear me out: holding pinkies. Maybe not when you’re walking, but when you’re seated next to each other. The longer you’re together, the more likely she is to initiate it, too.

Would rather study at home/in her apartment than in the library, but if you like to study there, she can compromise a few days out of the week.

Makes you playlists, and they’re usually really good, because she knows you so well. Sometimes she gets cute and customizes the cover art to a picture of the both of you.

She’s your ride or die, so if you complain to her about a prof you don’t like or a TA you don’t think is fair she’s 100% on your side. She might not always be able to do anything about it, but she’ll definitely let you complain to her.

Texts you throughout the day to check up on you, but usually disguised through other questions. Asks what you want/had for lunch when she’s really checking to make sure you ate. Asks you what time your lectures end, just to make sure you didn’t skip it (again). Asks you what time you’re going to be done studying to make sure you don’t stay up all night cramming again.

Takes a genuine interest in your courses, and absolutely loves to listen to you talk about them.

If your classes are vastly different, she’ll still try and help you however she can, even if it’s only in small ways, like proofreading something for you.

Doesn’t use emojis alot, so your contact doesn’t have a bunch of hearts next your name on anything. But she does put your last name in as Ackerman. 

Has social media, but mostly uses it to keep up with her friends, and you. You’re in most of the few pictures that she does post, and she might not say it, but she really likes it when you post photos of/with her. 

Not sure why, but I think she’d be a pretty decent artist if she tried. That trend of doing glass paintings on TikTok? I think she’d be into that, and would plan out the whole thing as a date with you.

Keeps up with all your favorite shows to talk about or watch them with you. Sometimes she’ll purposely miss a few episodes so that she can spend the night and marathon them with you.

Likes to stay in and drink cheap wine and just watch or talk about whatever with you. You could watch a terrible show just to laugh and comment on it the entire time and she would be so happy. 

Doesn’t like to sit down on public transportation, and honestly would rather you didn’t either, but she’s not going to stop you from taking a seat. If you’re sitting, she’ll stand in front of/over you, and always keeps wire headphones long enough for you to share music that way.

The most insufferable human when she’s sick and she knows it. She hates being sick. And she knows you shouldn’t be around her or else you might get sick but she also just wants you to hold her. (You do).

Likes to sleepover at your place. Talks with you about your day while you lay down. Always smells good. Very cuddly when sleepy. 10/10.

Hates the act of doing her laundry, but likes doing it with you. Lowkey starts buying and using the same detergent and fabric softener as you because it makes her smell like you.

Gets very embarrassed if you kiss her in public. Very red in the cheeks, it’s kind of cute, so I wouldn’t blame you if you did it on purpose.

JEAN KIRSTEIN

Jean is… quite smart, if you ask me. Or, at the very least, analytical, which can be applied to a variety of academic settings.

The only thing is, he’s incredibly lazy about it. He wants to do well in school, and can definitely pull himself together for a midterm or an exam; but is horrible at keeping pace with all his other work and assignments on a regular basis.

He also can’t sit still, which is why even though he is very kind and chivalrous and brings many snacks to your study sessions, he is also competing for number one worst study partner. Right next to Eren and Sasha.

Gets pouty when you tell him you don’t want to study with him. “But… but… but I brought snacks! And bubble tea!” “Yes, but you also have the attention span of a rabbit, Jean.”

At the end of the day he understands… that doesn’t mean he’s not going to be bitter about it LOLOL. It’s fine, you can make it up to him by hanging out with him afterwards.

Is, like, classically trained in at least two instruments because his mom put him in lessons as a child. He used to hate it growing up, and he doesn’t practice much now, so he never talks about it.

One day you happen to mention something about comparing two songs, telling him they remind you of each other but you don’t know exactly why or why, and very nonchalantly he’s like, “They sound similar because they share the same major chord in the chorus, and they’re in the same key.” 

And you just kind of blink at him like, “Okay, Beethoven. How. How did you know that.”

Once you realize he can, like, actually play the piano and violin really well you’re always begging him to play for you. It doesn’t happen often—it’s not like he owns a violin anymore and he certainly doesn’t have a grand piano in his shitty college apartment—but sometimes you sneak into the music room when it’s empty and he’ll play something for you.

He’s a romantic at heart, so he doesn’t mind, and if anything kind of enjoys you watching him play. It’s much better than playing for random parents in a recital. You’re dead if you ever mention it to any of his friends though.

Also not a frat boy, but definitely likes to party. Everything with reason. If he crushed a midterm on Thursday, he deserves to throw back a few beers on Friday night, you know?

Touchy when he’s drunk. Well, touchier than normal; he’d be the most affectionate out of every one on a regular basis. But he’s touchy and messy when he’s drunk, so he’s all over you.

Messy, but happy. All smiles and giggles and red cheeks, with his arm around your shoulder, boasting you anybody who will listen about his super hot girlfriend.

He and Eren throw the best parties when they team up together. (Only slightly related, but those two, when drunk together, could probably pass as a couple; they’re so uncharacteristically happy, and affectionate. You may or may not be keeping some photo and video evidence of Eren and Jean drunk cuddling).

Sends you videos when you’re in the middle of class. And only then. He plans it to be annoying. Because he is annoying.

Also always sending you those in-messsage games while you’re in the middle of lecture or studying. “PLEASE play virtual pool with me!! I’ll even let you win one round!!” “I AM TRYING TO LEARN!!” “LEARN LATER 😡😡😡”

A fucking fiend in your Instagram comments. It’s a miracle none of them have been removed or reported for inappropriate content. Replies to OTHER people’s comments complimenting YOU!! He’s so much

@sashabraus: aww you look so cute @youruser!! that color looks so good on you 💕 @jeannotjean: omg omg tysm @sashabraus 😊 i picked it myself @youruser: SHE WAS TALKING TO ME @jeannotjean!!! ME!!! @jeannotjean: @youruser you have no proof 🙄 @youruser: SHE USED MY @!!!! GET OUT OF MY COMMENTS!!! @jeannotjean: you’re so hot when you yell at me via insta comments 🥵🥵🥵 would it be better if i slid into your dm’s instead 😫😫😉 @youruser: @jeannotjean BLOCKED!! EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!!

You try explaining your coursework to him and he’s just looking at you with puppy dog eyes like, “I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about, babe, but you look hot while doing it, so, please, continue.”

He’s another cocky annoying bastard (endearing). Always tilting you head up to look at him and smirk at you. Pisses you off just to put his arm around your shoulder and be like, “It’s okay, I know you love me anyways.” Winks at you in public just to embarrass you. He’s the worst. The worst.

King of picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder for absolutely no reason at all.

He lowkey wants to get an ear piercing and uses you to talk him into it. “Don’t you think I’d look hot with a piercing? I think I would.” “You would look good regardless, Jean. So, do it if you want to.” “Right. But, like.... do you think I would look hot.”

For as annoying and cocky as he can be, the second you actually genuinely tell him you think he’s attractive or talented or whatever, he gets kind of shy. It’s very cute. 

Likes trying new restaurants with you, even though he really should stop spending all his money on food. Sometimes trying new restaurants means ordering from a new place, but it’s whatever, you know.

Honestly… the two of you would probably have a ridiculously high Uber Eats bill. You really should go outside and, like, be people every once in a while LOLOL

Okay, but it’s mostly Jean’s fault. For as much as he likes to party, and doesn’t mind hosting a party, he doesn’t do much beyond that. He hangs out with his/your friends, and with you, obviously, but he’s not the kind of guy to have his weekend booked up all the time.

He would much rather stay in with you, and talk trash about his stupid group project partners, and lay on your stomach and try to teach you how to play his favorite video games.

Spoiler: he fucking lies and/or leaves out key parts of the gameplay!! Just so he can crush you and laugh about it!! Annoying, but you’re the one keeping him around, so, who can you really blame but yourself.

[in-ky]

An Old Scent [4] - Negan x Reader (A/B/O AU)

Summary: During summer break, you decide to come back home to visit your dad, Rick. Over the course of your stay, you realize that your dad's friend is pretty hot.

Warnings: literally just seduction and smut for this chapter lol, biting, ~aggressiveness~, pet names, fingering, penetration, edging?, breeding kink, soft aftercare negan :)

A/N: so this is the first smut i've ever written! i hope it's alright, some feedback would be awesome :) i hope you guys enjoyed my first story! 3k words

The next few days were a blur. Negan would come in, give me food, water, and a backrub, and then leave me to my own devices. I wanted to ask him for more, but for some reason I never did and he never tried anything. That wasn't to say he didn't want to. I could tell that my smell alone had an effect on him. That was obvious by the noticeable bulge he sported when he got up from by bedside and exited my room. Yet the alpha had an insane amount of self-control. So I got myself through my heat.

When my head finally cleared of the fever, the first thing I did was text Bee.

'All good now.'

'Thank the gods. So??? How was he? Am I going to be an aunt?'

'I wouldn't know. It didn't happen.'

'You guys didn't fuck? Jesus, you should get an award for the most disciplined omega on the planet.'

'I wouldn't go that far haha. I still want him more than anything.'

'Well, who says you have to be in heat for that to happen?'

'Fair point. Talk to you later, xo.'

I tossed the phone onto my mattress and crossed over to my dresser. Now that I wasn't a moaning mess, I had some semblance of self-control. Which meant that I could seduce Negan in a way that I wanted. In a way that would make him pounce and fuck me until we passed out. He had gone out to the store for a restock of the pantry so I had about thirty minutes to get myself together for him. I foraged through my underwear drawer until my fingers wrapped around a pair of black lace underwear and a matching bra. My lips curled wickedly. If this didn't get him riled up, I didn't know what would. I laid out the set on my bed and moved to my closet for the perfect outfit. I was still wearing Negan's shirt and boxers. They were admittedly very wrinkled and a bit stained from all the fluid that had been produced from my body in the past few days, but Negan didn't seem to mind. I reminded myself to follow up on his orders before I put my plan into motion. I flicked through the hung up clothes before settling on a cute black dress with a sparse sunflower pattern. It was low cut and showed off all of my goods. Perfectly. I put that safely next to my undergarments and headed out of my room.

Peeling off the clothes was harder than I thought. They were a bit crusty in some areas, particularly the crotch, and I almost felt bad for ruining Negan's clothes. Almost. I folded them as best I could given their condition and placed them reverently in the center of his bed. I found a piece of paper and scrawled a note over the middle. I folded the paper in half and put it on the pile of clothes. I nodded in satisfaction and headed into the bathroom for my shower to scrub off the remaining fluids that still clung to my skin.

~~~

My heart raced as I heard the front door click closed. I could tell by the footsteps that it was Negan. That and the fact that all I could smell was that goddamn smell. The scent that could drive me crazy with just one breath. A sudden doubt edged at my mind. What if he didn't want me. What if I was misreading the signals? I shook my head roughly, clearing the negative thoughts. Even if he did reject me, I could play it off to the endings of my heat...besides, I was leaving in a few days and I could wait to be heartbroken in Colorado.

My heart stopped it's assault on my chest cavity when I heard his heavy steps ascend the stairs. He cleared his throat and entered his room. I could hear a small growl escape his throat. He had found my present. I closed my eyes and imagined him suffocating himself in my smell, much like I had when I saw the clothes in the bathroom. I forced myself back to the present when I heard the crinkling of paper. He gave a little scoff of laughter and I heard him cross the hallway and twist my door open.

"Hey what did you wanna talk abou-oh." He trailed off and stiffened as his eyes caught my body. I was laying on my side, one hand propping up my head, the other draped over my round hip. The deep cut of the dress exposed my breasts as well as some of the bra to him. I saw him drag his tongue over his lip and it ignited a fire in the pit of my stomach. I pushed myself up and swung my legs over the side of my bed, rising to my feet and sauntering over to him. I watched him watch my hips sway with every movement.

"I just wanted to thank you," I purred, voice dripping with seduction "for taking such good care of me." His jaw tensed as I placed my hands on his chest, running my palms up to his shoulders and pushing off his leather jacket. "I really appreciate it."

"What are you doing?" He whispered. I could tell it was taking every ounce of control he had to not grab me by the throat and pin me up against the wall. Little did he know, that's exactly what I wanted.

"I wanted to return the favor," I said, blinking wide eyes up at him "Surely there's something I can do to show you how thankful I am, alpha." His eyes closed and a growl rumbled through his chest at the name. My hands trailed down his chest to his abdomen. But before I could reach his belt, Negan grabbed my wrists. I pouted at him.

"Careful, omega," He warned, eyes dark "don't start something you're not willing to finish." My frown turned into a sultry smile. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him where his ear connected to his jaw.

"Please, Negan," I whimpered in his ear. His grip on me tightened "Alpha, fuck me."

"Shit, doll, you don't have to ask me twice." Negan growled. His hands grabbed my waist and hoisted me up around his midsection, hurriedly capturing my lips in a bruising kiss. He thrust his tongue into my mouth as he walked us over to my bed. It was all a blur as I fell onto my back and he moved away from the kiss. He bit and sucked at the skin of my neck, attacking my pulse point in the best way possible.

"Alpha." I moaned, tugging at his shirt. He grunted against my neck and continued his trail of love bites until he met the collar of my dress. Negan growled in disappointment at the lack of skin and used his large hands to tear at the fabric. I gasped as the cool air of the room met my heated skin. He let out a feral groan as he drunk in the sight of me in the black lace set.

"I hope you didn't like that dress." He mumbled as he tossed it over his shoulder, returning to his suckling.

"It was too small." I gasped, finding my hands entangled in his hair. "Ugh, Negan!"

"Fuck, you're beautiful." He hummed, one of his fingers trailing down the middle of my stomach towards my rapidly pulsing core. I whimpered as he got closer, hoping that he would dip beneath the waistband, but he continued over it, cupping my sex over my panties. "And so damn wet. Shit, darling, is this all for me?" My eyes fluttered open to see a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. He was a bastard. But I was too aroused to care.

"Yes, alpha, all for you." I gasped, sitting up and tugging at the bottom of his shirt. I pushed it up his body and over his head. He lifted his arms and I pulled it off him.

"A little eager, are we?" He snickered.

"Negan, you don't know how fucking bad I need you," I whined "I was dying during my heat. I needed my alpha." I pulled him back on top of me, pressing my lips against his. My face was starting to burn because of his stubble, but it felt amazing.

"But I do fucking know, princess," He gasped between kisses, pulling away with one of my lips between his teeth. "It was so difficult not to flip you over and fuck you right then and there. I knew you wanted me, but I wanted to wait until you weren't some sex-crazed beast to admit that."

"Well I'm done now," I grinned, wrapping my legs around his waist and pulling him close. He hissed as his clothed erection rubbed against my pussy. "So fuck me right here and now." I bit his ear lobe and peppered kisses along his jawline until I met his lips again. He chuckled against me, lips curling into a smile.

"Can-fucking-do 'mega."

He unhooked my bra and tossed it to the side, capturing one of my hardened nipples in his mouth. His tongue added with the scruffiness of his beard was enough to make me toss my head back in pleasure. A string of profanities left my lips as he moved to the next one, kneading the one that he just left. My insides were burning and I needed him lower. Thankfully, he began to kiss down my navel, leaving bites to mark his path. When he reached my panties he used a combination of his teeth and his fingers to drag them down my legs. Once they were gone, he kissed up my calves and my thighs, stopping in front of where I needed him most. He planted one of his hands on my hip and used two of his other fingers to spread my lower lips apart. I let out a moan at the action, bucking slightly into his touch.

"Stay put for me, doll," He ordered before giving my hip a kiss "I know you want my knot but I've gotta get you ready first." I just whimpered in response. He slowly entered his two long fingers into my aching cunt. I let out a heavy breath and grasped onto his shoulder, digging in my nails. He deftly curled his digits upward, hitting that sweet spot almost instantly. I cried out in surprised pleasure. I figured Negan was experienced but he knew where everything was. He scissored his fingers and I gasped at the stretch. It had been a while since I actually had something moving inside of me. I could only imagine what his cock would feel like. The thought made my walls clench around him. When he brought his thumb up to press gently on my clit, I dug my fingernails deeper into his skin. He worked the pad in circles, bringing me to an edge I was very willing to jump off.

"Fuck, Negan, I'm..." I huffed, eyes screwing in pleasure.

"Do it baby, cum for your alpha." At his permission, I let the tight band snap and my legs shook with the intense orgasm that crashed through my body. I breathed heavily and arched my back. When the intensity subsided, I collapsed back and brushed the hair back from my face. I felt Negan remove his fingers from my core and I opened my eyes to see him lapping up my juices that had dripped down his palm. Another spark of arousal was already beginning to form.

"Finally got my taste," He moaned, licking his lips in satisfaction "and shit, doll, you taste even better than you smell."

"Please, Negan," I whimpered.

"Please, what?" He cooed, crawling over me and pressing a kiss to my forehead "Use your words, omega."

"Please fuck me, alpha."

He ripped off his belt and unbuttoned his jeans, letting out a sigh of relief when he kicked the restraining fabric to the side. His hard cock was outlined against his boxers. He was right about needing to be prepared; he was huge, no doubt the biggest I had ever seen. A proud smile formed on his lips when he caught me ogling his goods.

"You ready for my dick?" He growled, tugging down his boxers and letting his cock spring free. It was angry, desperate for any sort of contact.

"Please," I gasped.

"Then present for your alpha." I rolled onto my elbows and knees, sticking my ass in the air and wiggling it in hopes that he would pay attention to my weeping slit. "Fuck you look so good." Negan grumbled, scooting closer to me. He ran the head of his cock up and down my entrance. I whimpered and pushed myself back eagerly. He gave me a slight hit on my ass cheek. "I'm in charge here, don't forget that."

"Y-Yes, sir." I said, fisting the sheets in my hands. Thankfully, Negan wasn't in a teasing mood and he slid himself into my pussy in one thrust.

"Fuuuuck," He hissed as he bottomed out, fingers gripping my hips harshly. I would have bruises everywhere tomorrow. But I didn't mind, it would be a reminder that this actually happened. "You're so goddamn tight. Shit." I clenched my walls around him and he let out a husky groan, causing me to smile. He wasn't completely in control. After I was adjusted to his size, I gave him a whimper as a signal to move. And he did. He pounded into me, hips ramming into my ass with every thrust. He fucked me like a wild animal and every time he buried himself inside me, his cock would hit that perfect spot. We moaned in sync with the sounds of skin slapping skin. One of Negan's fingers drifted down beneath himself and he furiously rubbed at my clit. The stimulation was enough to send me into another mind-boggling orgasm, but Negan shut that down quickly.

"Don't you fucking dare cum until I tell you to, understand me?" He growled, resting his head against my shoulder. I couldn't form words so I just nodded frantically. "I'm gonna pop my knot in you, omega. Gonna fill you up. Gonna breed you so good," He huffed between thrusts "You're gonna look so goddamn beautiful when you're round with my fucking pups. Then everyone will know you're mine." I moaned in agreement. I don't know what I moaned, but it was a combination of his name and a curse. A few thrusts later and I could tell that Negan was close. His breathing was heavier and his hips were staggering against mine and his knot was catching at the entrance of my pussy. "Cum with me, baby," He ordered "Let me feel you." With that I let go, letting my walls spasm around his thick cock. He came at the same time, spilling his seed deep within me. I milked him for every drop.

Out of instinct, I tossed my neck to the side, exposing my mating spot to the man above me. With a growl, Negan sunk his teeth into my skin, bonding us together. Fireworks shot through my body and I collapsed beneath him. Negan rolled us both over onto our sides, still inside of me. He lapped at the blood spotting at his bite mark. It took a few moments for us both to catch our breath, but Negan was the first to speak.

"I'm going to take such good care of you," He promised. It was the same tone that he had used at the dinner table when I asked him about the situation with his ex-fiancé. Sincere, vulnerable. "I might not be the best man, but I promise you I will always be there for you and whatever pups we might have. I've never felt like this before and I just...I don't want to fuck it up." I looked over my shoulder and saw worry in his eyes. I gave him a small peck on the nose.

"You won't fuck it up, Negan," I murmured, giving him a reassuring smile "Trust me, I won't let you." We both let out a soft laugh. "I trust you. You're my alpha. I know you'll be the best one you can be, and that's all I can ask for. You're lucky I'm a very patient person."

"Not in bed, you're not." He teased, giving me a wink. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "I don't want you to leave. You'll have to go back to Colorado soon. I don't know if I can handle my girl being so far away. Especially around other alpha assholes." I felt his grip tighten around me. I lifted a hand and stroked his arm.

"Don't worry about that yet," I sighed, closing my eyes. I would be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about it either. But that wasn't the most pressing issue we had to face. "Let's figure out how we're going to tell Rick first." Negan groaned and wrinkled his nose.

"Can you not mention your dad when my dick's still inside you?" He grumbled. I let out a giggled and kissed his knuckles.

"Sorry," I hummed "just saying, I'm not sure how well he's going to take it."

"Well, he better take it like a fucking champ." Negan huffed "'cuz if he doesn't he's gonna fucking regret it."

"Negan," I warned gently "He's my dad. You're his friend. We're mated now. It's gonna be weird for him. You gotta respect that."

"You really do bring me down to earth don't you," He sighed, nuzzling my neck "I guess I underestimated how much I need you." I let out a yawn and rubbed my eyes with a groan.

"I didn't hurt you did I?" He asked, genuine concern lacing his words.

"No, I'm just tired," I giggled "I haven't been fucked that good before."

"Damn straight you haven't." He smirked. Negan gave my neck a kiss and pulled himself out of me. "You get some rest, I'll clean us up and then we can cuddle. When we wake up I'll make you anything you want, deal?"

"Deal."

Not how I expected my summer trip to go, but I'm very happy it ended like it did.

[theduosetter]

── 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙐𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙠 ──

Pairing: Daichi Sawamura x f!reader

Summary: Two strangers laid their eyes upon one another and were captivated at first sight. All they were itching to know was their name yet who knew they were closer to each other than they realized.

Warning(s): cursing, fluff, adorable all around!!

A|N: I hope you enjoy this mini series! Any heart or reblog would be appreciated thank you! Feedback too :D

Links: m.list | writing commissions ✏️ || tip the writer ✍️ ||

Part: 3

"Hurry up, Y/n!" Hinata yelled as he grew impatient.

"I'm coming, Shoyo! You're literally outside of my door." you hung up and grabbed your bag along with your phone.

Opening your bedroom door you saw your best friend standing there tapping his foot. "Was it really necesarry for you to call me when you were already here?"

"Yes!" he exclaimed "I don't want you changing plans last minute."

"I'm not going to bail on you guys." you chuckled "Relax, we are going to hangout together today."

"Alright. Come on we still need to get to the gym to warm up." he grabbed your hand and ran downstairs.

"Shoyo!" you exclaimed "Where's Tobio anyway?"

When you got to the bottom of the stairs you saw the black haired friend sitting down at the kitchen table. A sigh escaped your lips knowing he wouldn't pass up the chance of some milk with your mom's pastries. "I can't quite say that I'm surprised."

"Do you wnt...s-sum?" he muffled as he chewed down on the bread making his cheeks chubbier.

"I'll be fine." you answered unlike the orange hair who stuffed a plastic bag filled with pastries while your mom laughed.

"Why don't I just give you guys some extra ones?" your mom said as she filled another bag with individual wrapped bakery goods.

"We'd appreciate it!" the duo spoke.

"We gotta go or else you'll be late for the game!" you exclaimed pulling each one away from the counter covered in sweets.

"Let me get one more!" Hinata whined, "One more-"

"You'll both end up getting stomach aches if you don't stop!" you retorted.

What seemed like eternity you managed to get them out the door despite the begs. "Please make sure to come back soon boys!" your mom said.

"We'll be back Mrs. (last name)! Thank you for the sweets!" they both yelled in unison.

"I will see you before closing, mom." you kissed her cheek and grabbed the four bentos. "Thank you for the food!"

"Be careful okay?" she waved goodbye at you then chuckled to herself, "I'm glad my baby has her friends."

"Seriously you guys barely have enough time to get to the gym!" you yelled out as you three ran towards the school's grounds. "I told you we had to go!"

"Yeah but your mom's bread was so good!" Hinata jumped "It tasted like a fluffy cloud Y/n!"

"She definitely needs to bring her food to the next school's festival." Kageyama added "Imagine how much attention your mom's bakery would get."

You bit your lip "You're not wrong about that..."

Hinata looked at his watch, his eyes widened. "We only have 15 minutes to practice before the other school get's here Kageyama!"

"You idiot! I told you we had to go!" he moved closer to kick his butt but Hinata managed to dodge his hit.

"Oh shut up! You were stuffying your face too!"

"Why am I friends with these two again?" you muttered.

"Come on pick up the pace y/n!" Hinata and Kageyama grabbed your hands and ran faster than your legs could move.

"G-guys!" you exclaimed "I-I'll end up falling─ slow down!" they were too focused on getting to practice than hear about your objections "If I break a bone I'm telling my mom to ban you from the shop!"

After a five minute run that was supposed to be ten, you finally arrived. Your legs felt like jelly and your sweater was long gone as your body was too sweaty. 'This was worse than a summer day...' you thought, 'I showered and got dressed so nicely only for it to be ruined by those two. Ugh they owe me big time.'

You slowly treaded towards the stairs of the gym, their teammates were too busy preparing to notice you. A sigh escaped your lips upon feeling the cool air coming from the a/c. "This... this is nice." you mumbled. "It feels like a cold freezer..."

"Um... hi." a voice spoke coming from behind you.

"You two are so banned..." you muttered under your breath. Slowly you turned around to come face with two guys. 'They must be their teammates.'

"Are you going to keep blocking the door or can we get through?" the tall guy with the glasses spoke.

"Tsuki." the shorter one mumbled.

"Well?" he stared you down, "We don't have all day."

'He must be the guy that Shoyo and Tobio went up against.' you thought.

"R-right... but you don't have to be so rude you know." you answered.

Tsukishima rolled his eyes walking passed you meanwhile his friend gave you an apologetic smile. "He's usually not mean." he chuckled slightly "Do you need help with something?"

"No... I came to see some friends. But they left me out on the front steps to get ready for your match today."

"Wait... are you really their friend?" he asked.

"If you're talking about the tall one and the ginger then yes." you chuckled, "They said it was fine for me to come today."

"Don't take this the wrong way but..." he scratched his cheek looking away from you, "I'm surprised they have a friend that's a girl, given the way that they are."

"No worries. I understand what you mean especially since we met in very different times." You two walked inside "I'm still surprised they are friends."

"Y/n!" looking to the left you saw Yachi jogging over to you. "Oh hey, Tadashi!"

"I should go warm up, it was nice meeting you!"

"You too Tadashi!"

She then spoke again, "What happened to you? Did you run all the way here?"

"Hinata and Kageyama were too busy stuffing their faces with my mom's pastries. By the time they actually listened to me it was too late and we had to run all the way here." you whined "Now I'm all covered in sweat and I feel disgusting."

"I told them not to get distracted." she sighed "Do you want to freshen up? I have an extra shirt in the club room."

"Really? Id really appreciate that."

"Come on we still have a few minutes before the whole team gets here."

Your feet were too tired to walk yet somehow you managed to go upstairs to the room. "I swear one day those two will be the death of me." you complained.

"Can you blame them? Your mom's sweets are too good." Yachi chuckled.

Shaking your head you went inside and washed your face along with your arms and back. "How are the two doing with their quick attack by the way?" you asked.

"They're getting there, although they still want to make sure it comes out perfect. Coach Ukai said they need to upgrade it or else it won't be enough to get past the blocker's hands."

You nodded, "There's no doubt in my mind they will make it work. From the videos you've sent me those two can work a miracle even if they end up fighting... their goals are the same."

"Oh right I was going to ask you..." Yachi continued "... how did it go with your guy by the way? Did he end up messaging you?"

Biting your lip, you put on the white clean shirt. "He did, he was so nervous and sweet. I apologized to him about what my mom did yet he said he didn't mind because he was nervous about talking to me." you giggled.

"Wait so your mom really did give him your phone number?!"

"She did! I wasn't expecting her to go that far." you answered "But it is kinda embarrasing how she had to do it for me though..."

"Nonesense!" she exclaimed "You just needed that little push well you both did. I'm sure he knows that especially since he took the time to message you."

It was difficult to hide the smile that kept creeping up on your face. "As cliche as it sounds... it really feels like a movie Yachi."

"You're barely at the talking stage but what if he asks you out on a date then to become something more. Are you ready to go that far?"

Closing the locker you turned to face her, "Not going to lie with everything that has happened... I feel scared to say yes. After what happened I never really thought someone would take an interest in me and that I'd feel the same way."

Yachi placed her hand on your shoulder, "It's been at least 4 four years I think it is time to enjoy a new adventure in your life. You may never know what might happen."

"Yeah, I know."

There was a knock on the door, "Hey! Yachi are you almost ready? Kiyoko said she needs your help setting up."

"Yeah! We'll be right there Sugawara!" she yelled back.

"Who's Sugawara?" you asked.

"Come on let's go meet the rest of the team that way it'll be easier." she chuckled taking your hand and walking back to the gym.

There were sudden butterflies in your stomach, although you knew your friends were part of the team, you couldn't but wonder if it was okay for you to come. All you wanted was to make a good impression for the team that gave your friends the opportunity to play.

As soon as she opened the door everyone turned their heads to look at you. Two memebers then ran over to you both making you jump back.

"A new girl!" they yelled in unison.

"She's so cute!" the shorter one exclaimed.

"You didn't tell us you had such a pretty friend Yachi!" the taller one added.

Yachi became flustered, "Ah! T-this is m-my friend! She came to w-watch the game today. Y/n this is Tanaka and Nishinoya."

Feeling embarrassed you gave them a nod, "It's nice to meet you guys."

"She's so adorable!" Tanaka exclaimed "I hope we get to see you around here more often."

"Oh... um sure, if you guys don't mind." you said.

"Where have you been all my life?!" Nishinoya's eyes widened not being able to handle how cute you looked.

"Oh Y/n!" Hinata then jogged over to you guys "Can you help us toss some balls?"

"Yeah let's go-" you went to follow Hinata only to be taken away in the opposite direction.

"You need to meet the whole team." Nishinoya held your hand dragging you over to what seemed to be the third years along with other members.

"Guys! This is Yachi's friend, Y/n! Y/n, this is Suga or Sugawara for short, Asahi, Tsukishima, Tadashi, and Ennoshita!"

You tried to hide your nervousness, "Hello! It's nice to meet you guys, thank you for letting my friends play."

Tsukishima stared at you with an uninterested look, while Tadashi smiled softly.

"How did you manage for Hinata and Kageyama to get along? They were at each other's throats." Sugawara chuckled.

"Well... let's just say it's still hasn't changed much." you rubbed the back of your head. "But we make it work."

"Are you also a first year?" Ennoshita asked.

"Mhm I had to change school's during the second semester." you answered. "Karasuno is my second school."

"Well welcome to the team, I apologize in advance if things get out of control." Sugawara said "They're usually..." he tried to put into words but you understood.

"No worries if I can handle those two I'm sure it won't bother me." you chuckled. "Is this the whole team?"

"We're only missing our captain." Asahi answered, "Where is he anyways?"

Tskushima shrugged "He said something about needing to find his knee pads."

"Anyway we should go get ready before the school shows up. Let's start to warm up." Sugawara said and everyone went off to do their own things. "If you want you can sit down besides Coach Ukai and Mr. Takeda."

"Oh okay." you then looked around "Do you need help with anything?"

"I think we should be good, can you help with picking up the volleyballs and putting them in that basket when the other team gets here?"

"Sure." you were about to grab the cart when you heard the door open again.

"Oh! Daichi come over here!" he yelled.

Your feet froze, the numbness you felt earlier in your legs returned. 'Please... don't be who I think it is...' you thought lowering your head, 'Oh my god what if he gets dissappointed?'

You tried to subtly fix your hair and tuck in the club room shirt. Sugawara noticed, "Are you okay─"

"What is it Suga?" Daichi asked as he walked over to where you both were.

"This is the friend that they were talking about, this is Y/n." he said smiling softly at you. "Daichi?"

You slowly lifted your head to come face to face with those loving brown eyes. Daichi was in the same state as you, shocked yet happy to finally see you.

"Are you alright?" Sugawara asked looking at him.

"Y-yeah..." he chuckled awkwardly "It should have been obvious right?"

Your face was hot, "Y-yeah, I shouldn't have been so dumb."

"You two know each other-"

"This is y/n... the one I've been telling you about." Daichi said.

"Oh...." Suga mumbled "So you're the one he can't stop rambling about." a smirked then formed on his lips.

You blushed, "W-what, really?"

"Suga!" Daichi exclaimed.

"I can't believe after all this time you two would end up meeting each other at school." he said.

"Yeah..." you chuckled lightly "I knew you played a sport but never thought you were my friend's captain."

"I didn't know if it sounded cool─" he admitted.

"Are you kidding?!" you exclaimed "It's amazing! Volleyball isn't an easy sport. The amount of people that depend on you to lead them, yet you still have their backs and know what to say" you smiled looking up at him. "It's admirable really."

Daichi rubbed the back of his head, shyly smiling "Thank you I try my best to keep them under control... but sometimes they don't bother to listen."

"I know how that feels."

Sugawara stood quiet watching you two converse as if you were the only ones. He wanted to say something to get Daichi all flustered but didn't have the heart to do so. 'I am sooo going to have fun with this.' he thought.

[onewithnomightypowers]

clandestine (chapter 4)

PAIRING: Tom Holland x fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Y/N is an up and coming actress, married to a once hotshot actor, Harrison (Haz). What happens when her co-star, Tom, makes her realise that she is stuck in a loveless marriage. A marriage starts crumbling and a new romance stars brewing.

chapter 4: darling can’t you hear me?

A/N: i do not encourage cheating. this chapter is musically driven so i would recommend listening to ‘hit me baby one more time’ by britney spears, ‘sos’ by abba and ‘end game’ by taylor swift, while reading the chapter. also there is slight smut in here. i hope you guys like this chapter!! feedback is always appreciated.

warnings: smoking, drinking, slight smut, cursing

word count: 1.6k

important: bold and italic are character thoughts

main masterlist   series masterlist   chapter 3   chapter 5

Tom and Y/N had been individually invited to their common friend Lily’s house warming party. They, however, decided to go together as friends.

Most of the people Y/N knew in London were all in the same circle and were all present at Lily’s. Lily was a smart woman and a social butterfly, but she was not the smartest when it came to befriending real and trustworthy people.

The house was packed with people. Everyone was taking a swing at the karaoke machine attached to the TV in the living room.

Y/N and Tom made their way to the kitchen where all the drinks were.

“Remember, you’re driving us home.” Y/N said, snatching the beer from Tom’s hand.

“Why can’t you drive?” Y/N chugged the whole beer at once.

“Oops”, she said, wiping her mouth from the back of her palm.

They both diverted to their separate ways, trying not to confirm the obvious. They were the talk of the town, or the party in this case. They were knee deep in rumours. Everyone had been gossiping about something they had heard from a friend of a friend.

Rumours spread like wildfire and in their case, most of the rumours were true. But the biggest red herring of the town was that Haz and Y/N were separated and were on the verge of filing divorce, and Y/N was getting the heat of it.

Those who were sober enough to sustain a conversation, came up to her and asked her the exact same question.

“So what is up with Haz? How is he? Haven’t seen him around in such a long time”, asked a girl, whose name Y/N couldn’t remember.

She was clearly out for ‘the scoop’ everyone else was.

“Oh he’s nice, he’s actually coming to London next week”, this was the thirteenth time Y/N had repeated that sentence tonight.

“So will he be accompanying you to the premier?”

What is she, a tabloid journalist?

“I don’t know actually, we haven’t talked about that”

---

Tom hated parties, he preferred intimate gatherings, where people would have meaningful conversations instead of the shallow small talk. He was an ‘intellectual’ in that sense, as Y/N had pointed out. He was insufferable since he couldn’t drink as he had to drive Y/N home, and she was nowhere to be found. He found himself entering the bathroom in Lily’s room to escape. Little did he know, Y/N felt the same way. He entered the bathroom to a modern masterpiece.

Y/N was sitting inside the bathtub with her legs hanging out of it. Her white wine glass was to her left, next to a Marlboro box with a lighter poking out it. The shower curtains were pushed to the right side of the tub.

She had a cigarette in her left hand and her phone in her right. He could only assume that she was playing candy crush like the middle aged woman she was. He couldn’t help but take a picture.

Y/N didn’t notice him until she heard the sound of the phone camera.

“I see you lasted an hour out there”, she said, ashing her cigarette on the box.

“Which is more than you”, he sat on the edge of the tub.

“Ugh, I couldn’t take their questions about Haz anymore, like seriously why do they all need to ask me the exact same question individually, I should literally just announce my life’s status with a fucking lou-“, Y/N was interrupted by Tom’s sloppy kiss.

She tastes like wine

He found himself on Y/N's lap and started kissing down her neck. She smelled like her Gucci Bloom perfume mixed with alcohol and smoke. Tom made it to her breasts and started sucking them, in an attempt to leave his mark on her.

There was a knock on the door. “Go away”, Y/N screamed, between small, light moans. “Um, okay”, the person said from behind the door. Y/N moved her hand to the rim of Tom’s shirt and started to pull it up, accidently toppling the wine glass next to her, spilling wine in the bathtub.

Tom broke away to see what had happened. “You’re a mess, darling”, he continued kissing her. “But I’m the mess you love”. Both of them were so intoxicated at the moment, they ignored the use of the word ‘love’. It was something which neither of them had said out loud before, but felt deeply.

“We should go, they will think we are canoodling together”, Tom said.

“But we are canoodling together”

“Yeah but still”

“Fine, but you owe me one”, Y/N said in frustration.

Tom got up from her lap, Y/N stuffed her phone and the cigarette box in her pocket.

“What are we going to do about that?” Tom pointed at the wine glass on the bed of the tub.

“Its white wine so it wouldn’t stain and we were never here”

Y/N opened the door and merged into the sea of people, leaving Tom behind.

---

She found herself in an utterly boring conversation with Lily and her ‘girl squad’. They were talking about the latest Dior makeup line.

How can someone talk about makeup while drunk?

She noticed that Alan was done with his powerful performance of ‘hit me baby one more time’. “Who is next?” he asked the crowd, raising the microphone. Y/N found an opening to escape the conversation. “Me!” she got up, grabbed the mic and climbed the wooden coffee table.

“Who wants to recreate the ‘SOS’ scene with me from ‘Mamma Mia’? Of course I’ll be Pierce Brosnan” she screamed into the mic.

“I’ll be your Meryl Streep”, Tom walked over to the karaoke machine to take the spare mic.

Y/N turned on the music, “I want everyone to sing the chorus with us”

“Where are those happy days, they seem so hard to find, I try to reach for you but you have closed your mind”, Y/N stepped off the table and started to walk towards Tom, never losing eye contact with him.

“Whatever happened to our love? I wish I understood, it used to be so nice, it used to be so good”, Tom turned his back to her just like Meryl Streep in the movie.

“So when you're near me, darling can't you hear me, S.O.S. The love you gave me, nothing else can save me, S.O.S”, everyone sang this part excluding Tom.

“When you're gone, how can I even try to go on? When you're gone, though I try, how can I carry on?” Y/N sang this part alone. Tom turned slightly to look at Y/N, he could see it in her eyes that she meant every bit of what she was singing.

“You seemed so far away, though you were standing near. You made me feel alive but something died, I fear”. It was Tom’s time to shine. He noticed that almost everyone in their audience had pulled out their phones to record it.

“I really tried to make it up, I wish I understood. What happened to our love, it used to be so good”, Tom tried his best to overact.

“So when you're near me, darling can't you hear me, S.O.S. The love you gave me, nothing else can save me, S.O.S.” they all sang it, together, on top of their lungs.

Tom and Y/N were, now, standing back to back.

“When you're gone, how can I even try to go on?” Y/N repeated the lines after Tom.

“When you're gone, though I try, how can I carry on?” they held each other’s free hand in a way no one could see it.

The music stopped playing, they turned to look at each other. “Now don’t expect me to do the dirty dancing lift with you, I don’t want to break my back”, Y/N spoke into the mic. The whole room burst into laughter.

---

They were on their way to Y/N’s Camden apartment, their home for the time being. Tom was driving and the local radio was playing at a low volume. Y/N was looking out the window, it was past midnight, and the streets were stranded.

“And now, ‘End Game’ by Taylor Swift”, the radio jockey said.

Y/N was not paying attention to whatever was playing but Tom was. He turned up the volume for her, knowing her, he knew that she wouldn’t want to miss it. Y/N finally noticed the chorus and got excited. She looked over at Tom, giving him a glance that said ‘you know me so well’. He noted the glance, grabbed her right hand delicately and pulled it up to his mouth to give it a kiss.

She took her hand back to increase the volume even more. They had stopped at a red light.

“I hit you like bang”, Y/N sang along, making a ‘bomb blasting’ gesture.

“We tried to forget it but we just couldn’t, and I buried deep hatchets but I keep maps to where I put ‘em”

“Reputation precedes me, they told you I’m crazy” Tom also sang with her.

“I swear I don’t love the drama”, he let her sing this part alone.

“It loves me” she bopped Tom’s nose, scrunching her face.

I love her so much

“I love you so much”, he said.

She looked up, grinning like a devil, saying nothing.

Shit did I say it too soon? Yeah it’s too soon, she’s going to fucking leave me now

“Is it cool that I said that?” he was confused by her silence. The light had turned green and the cars behind them were honking, but his eyes were stuck on her beautiful devilish face.

Just before he turned his wild eyes on the road, she said it.

“I love you too, Tom.”

@mysticapples17​

[chimswae]

BTS Caretaker CH12

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 4,582

- Author Note:Late update again hmm ;(  i appreciate your feedback and comment, just drop in my ASK BOX :)

Previous | Next

Chapter 12

“Seul, come here for a second” Hwasa whispered behind the counter signalling Seul to come over. Seul guffawed at Hwasa’s randomness, and quickly cleaned the table before making her way to Hwasa.

“What is wrong with you?” placing the tray on the counter neatly, Seul shot her friend a disbelief look.

Hwasa glanced over the counter to an area which Seul had a hard time to decipher at first, yet she followed her gaze mindlessly hoping it was not the usual prank that she pulled to get her revenge. Sitting at the corner, a young man in his early 20’s with his face fully covered up by his bucket hat. They could not see his eyes due to that but Seul could tell, he was immersed in his work.

Clenching onto his sketchbook while his free hand did wonder on the blank paper, his muscle flexed due to the intensity that he experienced at the moment. A small smile crept on his face, as he carefully gave a light touch on his character’s hair.

Pretty. He mentally praised the outcome.

“And..you are telling me because?” Seul tilted her head in confusion.

“Didn’t you notice? That guy came to our shop at least thrice a week, sit at the same corner, wearing a plain white tee or sometimes black with a bucket hat on top to complete his fashion. Don’t you find he is a little suspicious?”

“Mmm..and how is this related to us? He could be an aspiring artist, Hwasa. Look at the sketchbook in his hand, he must find this place gives him an inspiration. Stop being so negative for goodness sake” Seul scolded and rolled her eyes in return. Hwasa could be impossible sometimes, her hunch could be a little too fiction.

“The inspiration happens to be you Ji Seul. Hello, wake up girl! I saw how he looked at you” she retorted with protest.

Seul flinched with a disapproval frown “No, he doesn’t, stop imagining things. I can’t remember seeing him that frequent in our shop. Why are you so nosy!” she jabbed her arms with small force enough to annoy Hwasa.

“It is called being observant you foolish girl. Stop being gullible! He is crushing on you, I could tell! Believe me for, once will you?” Hwasa was being adamant especially when it comes to convincing Seul with her words.

“You are being ridiculous Hwasa. He is not crushing on anyone, can you please stop writing your own fiction story, thank you. Letting negativity consumes your already corrupted brain is not healthy, for your information” she pressed her lips into thin line. However, it would be a lie even after the little commotion that Hwasa cause, it didn’t trigger Seul’s curiosity. She found herself glancing at the male who seemed engross in his little world.

She shrugged off the thought away trying not to be mini Hwasa, that would be awful.

“Excuse you. It is you who being too positive. Stop seeing all the good things in people and for once start to doubt another human ugh. Not all of them are saint as you imagine!” she whined not liking the fact that her own best friend did not have her back on her.

“Okay Miss, this talk is pointless. Besides, that guy pays for his drink so let him be unless he is using this place for free just to hangout then we have the right to question his presence here. Now, mind your own business Hwasa, we have stakes of plate behind to be cleaned. Go go!” she gave her friend a light pat on her bum causing the latter to pout.

Taking a final glance at the man whom sat at the corner, their gaze lock without they realize. It surprised him as he quickly lowered his head with a small smile “Weird” Seul mutters at his weird antic.

I wonder when will I have the courage to talk you. He heaved a soft sigh while continue to steal secret glances at the hardworking girl. How her presence alone managed to take his breath away. It all started with a mere admiration, and as day passed he didn’t even realize why his heart will find its own way there.

She is an escape from the reality.

She is his muse.

Literally.

 --------------------------

Trudging to the kitchen as fast as lightning, his nose is greeted by the sweet smell of Jin’s cooking “COOKIES” Taehyung hollered with a goofy grin. Jin looked his shoulder eyeing the younger guy sternly “Do not touch it!” he warned.

“WHY?” he whined, sticking his lower lips out as an attempt for his infamous aegyo (acting cute).

“This is for the caretaker lad-Ahjumma” he corrected but Taehyung was quick to catch on. A sly grin could be seen across his face “Are you preparing this for the caretaker lady? Seul isn’t it?” he poked fun.

Jin frowned “I am just being nice since she kinda give me a good piece of advice that night, so I feel indebted” he tried to hide his flushed face from being seen, to react this way was super wrong. It was not like he liked her in that way. Weird.

“Are you sure it is just an advice? Did something happen between both of you which does not involve words of advice?” Taehyung poked the cookies with his finger trying to steal it away but only to be stopped by Jin.

He swatted his hand from touching the cookies and glared at Taehyung’s way “Dirty minded Taehyung, who taught you this? Namjoon?” the latter pouted again as if he’s innocent as charged. Well all he wanted was a piece of the cookie, but thrifty Jin seemed to only care about the caretaker lady.

“All I wanted was a piece of this yummy cookies, only to be called dirty taehyung this early making me sulky” dramatic Taehyung touched his chest indicating he was in pain.

“Do not be silly Kim Taehyung” Jin rolled his eyes getting used to Taehyung’s weird antic. He took a piece of fresh baked cookies from the oven and shoved it into Taehyung’s mouth. “There happy?” he jeered.

Taehyung gave him a thumb up and wink before skipping happily to the living room. Kids would be kids.

Jin looked around making sure there was no one taking a peek on what he was about to do, he pulled out a cute box and arranged the cookies accordingly with a genuine smile. It was just a simple act of gratitude, right? He did not outdo it, was he?

Finishing up the small token of appreciation for Seul, he left a simple thank you note on top of the box “I hope she likes it” biting his lower lips to surpass his excitement, Jin kept the box on the table hidden from his nosy members. If they happen to see this, he would get tease for the rest of his life.

 ----------------------

“What the heck Hoon, you are their fans and why am I being dragged into this illogical thing” Seul grumbled under her breath. His foolish brother had the audacity to make her attend BTS Puma Fansign just because he wanted to get that limited-edition winter jacket. In all honesty, she admired his passion in obtaining the jacket however hell man this is Bangtan thing and definitely not her cup of tea.

“How is it illogical when it is a Bangtan thing!” he was offended. What a true Army, clap.

Seul cringed “Because it is a Bangtan thing, stop acting like a fangirl”

Hoon argued “CAN’T A MALE FANGIRLING TOO? WOW SPEAKING OF BEING DOUBLE STANDARD” he guffawed cynically and continued “And there is something called fanboy for someone like me, thank you”    

Seul shook her head while putting on her pink converse, she really needed to ignore his brother weird request from now on. Especially when it involved Bangtan. Persistence Hoon wont back away that easily, so he went to Seul side with his sad façade, prolly trying to impress Seul.

“Come on nuna, help me to get that winter edition jacket. I saved up my money for that, now because of my stupid speaking test. My plan to get the jacket burnt down to ashes” Hoon complained as if Seul was the reason why his early plan was doomed.

“For your information I have a better work to do rather than attending some weird fansign. Can’t you just get the jacket later on? They might put it up after the fansign, Ji Hoon! Why with the rush?” she retorted with a low scowl.

“Oh god, you are really oblivious, aren’t you? By the time they put it on display, everything will be wiped out by the Armys! Don’t you know the power of Army?”

Seul scrunched up her nose in utter disgust “Ew, you sounded so righteous trying to defend your favourite idol. But, power of Army? What I know is, it turns you into a pussy” Hoon gawked at Seul’s sassy mark. No one really could beat that foul mouth of hers.

Hoon sensed anger and hatred in Seul’s tone, even worse than before. He knew Seul did listen to Bangtan songs even though it was not to the extent of fangirling yet back then before she started this caretaking job, she did not sound as salty as now. What exactly happened to change her into some kind of typical k-netz whom sometimes only know how to condemn everything that the idols do.

He pinched the bridge of his nose while digesting his sister’s rude demeanour “Okay, nuna. Let me put every piece together first. What exactly happened at work causing you to act this way? As far as I am concerned the worst thing that you ever said to Bangtan was Jungkook hyung is a lazy bum” he frowned.

“Not this Bangtan talk again Ji Hoon. Look I am running late so can we just drop this thing because their life is not my problem. Alright?” she stood up, patting her jeans lightly and made her way to the front door only to be stopped by Hoon.

“WHAT NOW!” she hissed angrily.

“Say yes to the Puma fansign first then I am letting you go!”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Nuna please just this one! It is important”

“My job is important too and I have stomach to feed, get out of my way before I smack your soul out of your body. Go study and stop fangirling over Bangtan. Get a life Hoon” her brows knitted together into a deep frown.

“Just this one fansign please” Hoon threw his arms around her neck, basically clinging onto Seul for his dear life “I promise I will not ask anything irrelevant after this if you just help me to get the winter jacket” he begged with his puppy eyes.

“You are so annoying” Seul bit her lower lips trying to fall for Hoon’s request. She did not think meeting Bangtan members especially Yoongi and Jimin would be a good idea. Plus, to add to the suffering that she experienced, Jin was in the equation too. One fansign would not hurt right? They would not recognize her if she hid her face. That was face mask for!

Inhaling a deep breath, Seul finally gave in “Fine, just this fansign” Hoon hopped happily, squishing her sister into a super tight hug. He could be a little childish sometimes.

“I LOVE YOU NUNA SO MUCH” she felt a moist friction against her cheeks. Not a kiss Ji Hoon. Not a kiss, this grossed her out.

“Okay I am out from here, get off me” using her strength she pushed Hoon off her, so she could start walking and started her day already. She exited her apartment while rolling her eyes, then Hoon hollered at the back “It is today at 6! I will wire you the money and text the detail! Oh nuna! Get me the grey jacket thank you!” she sighed tiredly.

Thankfully, it was Saturday, so she didn’t have to tend Bangtan’s dorm. Much to her annoyance, she couldn’t imagine running around from one place to another just because of Hoon silly request. Unimportant much.

 --------------------

Seul left earlier than she did to attend Hoon’s BTS Puma Fansign however to her dismay, she was stuck in traffic causing her to arrive 30 minutes later than the actual event. Another shitty thing happened after another, when she was not allowed to enter the venue with her face mask. What was the big deal again? She then, followed the rule anyways as much as she hated it since she already promised Hoon to get him that dreamy winter jacket of his.

She was amazed by the settings and by the time she entered the small exhibition room, fans had already lined up for the fansign. Even from afar, she could see the members were already in their seat getting busy with their fanservices. Some members were entertaining the fans on the floor with cameras, must be their fansites, Seul mumbled under her breath.

Without her facemask, she felt so exposed to danger especially that exact two members whom already well aware of her existence. Seul cussed in her head not liking this one bit, one of the staffs came to her demanded her to be in line. Now this was a real drill.

She had to pretend as if nothing happened then and ignored those two completely. What was the worse thing they could do in public? Ji Seul everything will be fine, just smile. She spoke to Hoon earlier about the ideas of getting the winter jacket only and to ditch the fansign, but that little filthy creature wanted Bangtan’s autograph on the poster too. What a brat.

Thirty minutes passed yet there was no sign of Bangtan members in front of her, there were about 20 fans before her turn. This by far the craziest thing that she ever did for someone named Hoon. It would not happen again, she will make sure that.

Seul almost dozed off whilst waiting and of course she paid no attention to the fans around her and her surroundings. All she cared was to end this thing instantly “My god why am I doing this” she rubbed her sleepy eyes, yawning away to ease the sleepiness in her.

Getting bored standing in line like a fool, her eyes wander around watching the excited fans whenever their favourite members reacted to their questions. Idols really are the best actors of the century, weren’t they tired? Seul still could not understand a fangirl’s life, the closest would be her brother.

Her eyes were fixated on Jin, looking all glee and joyful with his fans. If and only that fan knew the real struggle behind smiley Jin, she sighed. The corner of her lips was tugged into a small smile upon witnessing Jin’s passion and his kindness with every fan who come to greet him a simple hello. He is a nice guy, she mentally complimented.

Seul felt a gaze on her as she shifted when the line moved forward, that weird feeling again. Jimin’s eyes were on her direction making Seul melted under his strong gaze. People might think he was actually staring into the lens, but no.

Jimin had his eyes on that one familiar figure not far from where he sat “Ji Seul..” he mumbled lowly not wanting to garner any misunderstanding from the fans and members.

Shoot, he knew me. Screw it. Seul turned her body to other side, steadying her heavy breathing. This won’t do, she must stay calm and act like nothing happen. This is their workplace, they should be professional anyway.

Jimin’s playful smile was slowly replaced by a genuine one as his attention now was on the fan in front of him. He could not wait until Seul’s turn came, there were a lot of things to ask.

On the other side, there was another person on stage whom seemed as surprised as Jimin, his beautiful lips were perfectly shaped into the most breath-taking smile which could blow any heart away ‘It is her. The lady from the tea shop’ he could not believe what’s in front of him.

His muse is there. He did not know she’s a fan well except her phone ringtone indicated she might be a possible fan, but to see her stood there in her casual clothes shook his heart.

She looked beautiful as always.

He returned his attention back to the audience and the members whom seemed too engross in doing something per requested. Guess, he finally had a chance to talk to her even for a short while in a bit.

 -----------------

After waiting for another twenty minutes, her turn to be entertained finally here. Well not exactly entertained, she was doing it for brat Hoon. Deep down inside, she was as nervous as other fans, except she really hated the attention from the public. Being in public alone in this kind of event pressured her to be cautious of her surrounding even more.

Jung Hoseok was the first member who greeted her cheerfully, it baffled Seul to see energetic Hoseok. He was indeed the real sunshine of the group, never once she caught him frowning or sighing. It was incredible how he was able to maintain that face whole day.

“Your name?” Hoseok asked cheerfully looking into Seul’s eyes intensely. Seul felt her cheeks getting hot at this unnecessary fanservice, not like she’s a fan of them. God, she hated this feeling the most.

“Urm… Se-I mean Hoon” she mumbled nervously.

Hoseok tilted his head while blinking his stupidly cute round eyes “Hoon?” he didn’t sound convinced at first considering the name was too manly for a girl like her “Is this your first time?” he inquired.

“Mmm.. yes.. actually this is for my brother. He is a fan, but he couldn’t make it to the fansign” she cleared her throat in hope she didn’t sound too nasal.

His mouth formed into an ‘o’ shape with a soft nod “Say hi to your brother then, Hoon’s sister” Seul chuckled at his cheekiness. For an odd reason, his smile warmth her heart and for goodness sake Jung Hoseok is beautiful. His honey skin is everything, okay enough complimenting.

Seul shifted to other side to meet the second Bangtan’s members, she saw him before but couldn’t really call his name. He had a cute smile plastered across his face, as he scrunched up his nose cutely making Seul froze in her spot “Hi.. how are you? I like your smile by the way..” his voice was holly deep and sexy.  

That was random as hell. What is with her smile again?

She turned fifty shades of red at the compliment “F..ine.. I guess? Mmm..thank you?” Seul wanted to force the word out from his mouth but only to be stopped by the person beside him, Park Jimin.

“Taehyunggie you are flattering her, don’t worry let me take it from here” Jimin slipped his hand in Seul’s cold one, pulling her in front of him. Seul could hear Taehyung guy whines at the background claiming Jimin stole his fan away, however to Seul, she was too preoccupied by Jimin’s presence.

How could a guy that she encountered few weeks ago could be this beautiful? I mean come on, Jimin was the real definition of living prince.

“Fancy to see you here again, Ji Seul-ssi” he caressed his thumb over her skin in circular motion whilst his other hand signed the poster in front of him. Ji Seul chose to remain silent, like what else she could say to this Park Jimin guy.

“I thought you were not a fan” he smug playfully making his eyes shrunk in process.

“Am not” Seul blurted with a long sigh. This whole thing was too much for her heart to handle, especially with Jimin stroking her skin as if she’s his lover. Was he this affectionate with his fans? Crazy.

Jimin bit his lower lips enjoying the scene in front of him, he had the upper hand now. It was rather interesting to see her overreact to his little touch “So, why are you here? Do you like someone from Bangtan?” he pried answers from the flustered girl.

“Well, I don’t exactly have one” Seul wanted to pull her hand away from Jimin’s grasp but did not want to appear rude. Another thing was that she did not want to cause any rumours, so she just played along until she found the perfect chance to just end this.

She started to break a cold sweat, this staring contest would not be over until she came up with answers, so she shut her eyes together and blurted out the first name that came into her mind “It is Suga” she gawked at her own answers.

Hearing his name being called Yoongi who sat three seats away from Jimin turned his head to Jimin’s direction, he too could not believe what he just saw. Did he really see it right? Ji Seul, their caretaker was there all along at the fansign.

Jimin face felt yet he managed to cover it up with the sweetest smile ever “Oh, guess you are looking forward to your meeting with Hyung” he winked. Seul looked away, finally able to pull her shaking hand away from his strong grip “It is nice meeting you Jimin-ssi” with that Seul quickly moved to the person beside Jimin.

The wise leader had been assessing the whole situation and he was not a fool though. He knew the way how Jimin and Suga exchanged a meaningful look, he knew the two members and the girl in front of him knew each other. Could it be the infamous caretaker lady that those two bragged before?

“Are you alright?” he saw how the girl broke into cold sweat, Seul was fiddling with the hem of her shirt easing the tense that she felt in her muscle.

Seul smiled politely “I am okay.. Thank you for asking” Namjoon’s dimple smile seemed to calm down her racing heart at least. It didn’t last long when Namjoon leaned over the table, dabbing Seul’s forehead with his sleeve.

Squeals after squeals could be heard from every corner making Seul flustered in her stance, what in the world just happened. Her body paralyzed at this small gesture and the proximity killed her inside “Don’t be nervous even this is your first time. You are doing great” Kim Namjoon was a real gentleman.

Seul chewed her lower lips, hiding her now crimson red face from Namjoon “Thank you…Good urm luck in anything you do and eat well I guess” he returned to his seat with a wide grin. Before Seul moved to the next member, Namjoon gave a light pat on her head and whispered in her ears “I remember you, glad to see you again caretaker agashii” he nodded with nose scrunched up revealing his dimple once again.

That is so not healthy. Seul chuckled bitterly and faced another unfamiliar face in front of him, guess she really need to study hard when it came to their names.

“Hello…Urm…?” Seul paused for a moment scrutinizing Jungkook’s face, rummaging through her memories. What was his name again? She cursed in her head.

“Jungkook..Jeon Jungkook.. You really are not a fan, you seem to like Suga hyung more than anything” Jungkook shook his head with a light chuckle. God, even his small laugh alone sounded melodious.

Of course, he is the Jeon Jungkook. Everyone knew he is the Jeon Jungkook, except Seul who’s still struggling with BTS’s members name in her head. She kept on messing the same name all over again except few members that left a great impression on her before like Yoongi, Jimin, Jin and Namjoon. Those are the only members that she accidentally bumped into so far.

“I am sorry Jungkook-ssi. Just a little urm… nervous I guess. The words just could not get out from my mouth” Seul sighed deeply.

“It is okay I am joking. You seem a little tense, calm down a little” he teased. Jungkook’s bunny smile managed to make her laugh a little despite the sticky situation that she faced a moment ago, now she felt a burden being lifted off her shoulder. Jungkook and Seul chattered for few more minutes before they ended with a shy hi-five as the staffs motioned Seul to move quickly not hogging the line.

Seul apologized and moved to the second last member, the eldest in the group, Kim Seokjin. Only god knew how uncomfortable she was conversing with Jungkook earlier, when she could eventually sense Jin’s deep gaze on her. It ripped out her sanity.

The corner of her eyes caught a glance of Yoongi whom sat the end of the table with a poker face, he was ignoring her whilst paying his attention on the fans at the audience seat. His voice alone was a major distraction to her innocent ears.

“So is it true Yoongi is your favourite member?” Jin’s soft voice diverted her attention to him instead. He found herself envied Yoongi, and trying to digest the ridiculousness. Wasn’t she supposed to loathe him instead since the things happened between the two aint pretty.

“Pardon?”

“I said do you like Yoongi?”

“………”

“Should I take that as a yes?”

“……..”

There was another silence between them. She had been repeating this question all over again in her head, what more she could say?

“Well, I wish it could be me instead. Don’t you think Yoongi doesn’t deserve your love” he joked causing the other guy to kick his calf under the table. He grinded his teeth together giving the older guy a warning glare.

“You may become one, in the future” Seul smiled, thanking Jin before shifting herself to Yoongi. Jin was in dazed upon hearing her response, Seul is attractive in his eyes. Biting his tongue down, he wished to see Seul again soon.

If and only she could skip Yoongi, she would gladly do that. Upon his eyes fell on Seul, he slouched forward examining the girl’s face so intensely that cause everyone in the audience fell silence in their seat.

Yoongi was known to be less affectionate with his fans in comparison to other members like the maknae line. But, there were rare occasion whereby he would shake hand casually with his fans. Likewise, with Seul he felt the urge to tease her even more than that.

Breaking his usual cold and cool demeanour, Yoongi cups her cheeks gazing into her eyes deeply “I told you we will meet again Mrs Hwang’s daughter” he murmured lowly careful someone might hear him.

“DID YOU SEE THAT?”

“DID MIN YOONGI JUST-“

“WOW, THAT IS RARE”

The faint voices behind her was just another voice that she had completely filtered from her memory. Other members took the moment to glance over at their side to witness the commotion, they were weirded out by Yoongi sudden change of character. How unusual.

“What are you doing” Seul hissed under her sharp breath. She didn’t fancy this kind of thing especially when Yoongi was the one who initiated the first move.

Yoongi smiled adorably “Being friendly” he chuckled, as his hand moved to the tuck the strand of hair behind her ears. He continued to give her an affectionate look, turning Seul into a real mess. For pete’s sake, she really hated Min Yoongi. Why he even exists?  

“Didn’t know that you actually like me?”

“I don’t”

“Liar”

“I am not”

“Prove it”

“Do I need to kiss you and ruin your career then only you trust me”

“Oh, that will only affect you. I will just announce to the world you are my girl, as simple as that”

“YOU WONT DARE!”

“TRY ME”

“FUCK YOU MIN YOONGI”

“Only if you invite me to your bed”

“YOU ARE ANNOYING”

“Thank you”

Their banter was done under the radar, no one could hear them except Kim Seokjin, but he decided not to butt in and let them be. He was still dead curious on the inside, just how close these two are? They seem to have a very friendly relationship in his eyes.

Yoongi leaned dangerously close to her face before releasing her completely “See you around, Mrs Hwang’s daughter” he gave her one final wink. Grumpily, Seul got up descended from the stage with red face. The result of her random banter with Yoongi caused her to be this sensitive.

Just wait, I will poison you in your sleep. Clenching her fist together, Seul refused to look back though he knew Yoongi’s eyes never left her until she disappeared from his vicinity.

Did she leave already? The guy peered up scanning the area to find a glimpse of Seul in the audience. He flinches as he failed to catch Seul face anywhere in the area, then he slumped in his seat.

I will just visit her at the shop. He smiled to himself.

This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2020. All Rights Reserved.

[bethhxrmon]

do flowers exist at night? -chapter two

Chapter Two: She Will (not) Do The Same For You

Pairing: Steve Harrington x OC

Chapter Summary: After the events of the party, Annie hopes for things to simply go back to normal. However, she is not so lucky. It doesn’t help that everything she has seen at home has yet to clear up either.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Swearing, sexual harassment, slut shaming, general angst, Billy being the literal worst, Annie doesn’t have a great time

A/N: Howdy, I hope everyone reading this is enjoying this as much as I am! Things are getting a bit more serious. If you like the story or would like to say something, I would love to here your feedback since it helps me stay motivated! And if this is the first part that you’ve seen, you can get caught up here!

~*~*~*~

There were two things Annie expected upon going to school the next day. Either showing off her ability to dance would leave her with several friends or she’d revert back to her state of obsolescence.

However, when people were clearly whispering around her, Annie couldn't help thinking something was off. It wasn't until some guy flipped up her skirt and grabbed her butt that she knew something was wrong.

In the moment she couldn't bring herself to say anything. The rush of pure adrenaline and anxiety made her want to collapse in on herself. By the time she plucked up the rage to turn around and say something, the guy was already too far down the hall for her to say anything.

Maybe it was just some jerk who thought it would be funny. Why that would be funny was beyond her. It left her wishing she were as invisible as she used to think she was.

The first half of the day ended up continuing with the same trend. No one talked to her and she had to actively ignore how people were staring at her. It was like when she first moved in and everyone acted like she didn't belong. She kind of wished everyone would go back to how things were yesterday. When no one looked at her or paid her any mind.

When her skirt got flipped up for the third time she went to her trigonometry teacher before sitting down.

"Hey um... I don't know what's going on but there're these guys who keep harassing me," she said, looking at the ground.

The teacher sighed, "Well, maybe if you wore a longer skirt or toned down that makeup this wouldn’t be an issue... you're lucky I don't give you detention for that."

Annie looked up at the teacher, seeing he had a rather bored, serious look on his face. Her mouth opened to try and get something in. The bell rang and cut off anything she could think to say.

It left her sitting in her seat, wishing she could shrink into nothing. At the very least she now just wanted to wash every bit of eyeliner and red lipstick off of her face. If she could have, she would have taken a chance to switch into sweats instead of her skirt and sweatshirt. Sure, she was wearing tights, but that didn’t seem to stop anyone.

As she walked to lunch, she was suddenly met with Billy walking up beside her, “Hey, you kinda ran off last night.”

“Um… yeah, I erm… I had to, well, you know-”

“Fuck around with Harrington? Figured as much,” he said.

Annie’s eyes widened, “What?! No I-”

“It’s okay, just try to not act like such a slut the next day, it’s embarrassing,” he murmured, reaching under her skirt and squeezing her butt before he walked off.

She stopped walking and leaned against the lockers, unable to breathe. There had to be something she could say, but no words came. A part of her wanted to scream for someone to do something.

Except she knew how that would end if she asked for help again.

When she got to her locker, she pulled out her coat and pulled it on. Never mind that it wasn’t longer than her skirt or how it was already warm in the school.

For once, she wished that she could get a chance to sit at her table alone. To just continue reading her book in peace. She sat her lunch tray down and threw on her headphones from her Walkman despite not playing anything. It made her look like she was in her own little world. 

Maybe if she pretended like no one was watching, they would just leave her alone.

That was wishful thinking as Carol showed up, sitting right next to her. Annie wanted to crawl into her jacket and hide. Was it too much to ask to be left alone?

“Hey, Hardwick, how was it last night? And don’t play dumb,” Carol said, taking off Annie’s headphones.

Annie stared up at her, “I um… I don’t know what you’re wanting me to say here.”

“Do you fuck every sad sap that crosses your path? Or is it just the popular ones?” she asked, pulling Annie’s book from her hand.

She reached in vain, “Hey! I really don’t know what you’re talking about, can you just give that back?”

“Come on, everyone knows you left the party last night with Steve Harrington and made him feel a bit better about his problems,” she replied, handing the book over to Tommy.

Annie’s face scrunched up a bit, “That’s not… that didn’t happen! Hey, careful with that!”

“Then maybe you should try telling everyone here the truth,” he said, starting to rip the paperback in half.

Annie shook her head, “What the hell?!”

“Yeah, what’s going on here?” Steve asked, coming up from behind Tommy and Carol, yanking the partially torn book from Tommy’s hands, “The show’s over, you got it?”

Annie just watched as the pair seemed to get the message and walk away. Then, Steve sat next to her, handing the book back to her.

He let out a sigh, “Sorry I got here a bit late. I guess it could be worse though.”

“Yeah… I guess,” she said, looking up at him, “Oh, um… how did things go with Nancy?”

Steve let out a bitter laugh, “Where to start… she didn’t remember any of it and she couldn’t even say she loved me. She couldn’t even lie about it, it’s all bullshit.”

“Oh… I’m sorry,” she said, looking down at her book, “Maybe you guys just need a bit of space? I don’t know, it’s not over, though, is it?”

He shook his head, “No, I just… I couldn’t deal with her right then. I still can’t.”

There was a long pause before he nodded at her book, “The Exorcist, huh? Isn’t that a movie?”

“Um yeah, it was a book first. It’s kinda scarier than the movie, but I don’t know, my imagination just kinda goes a bit crazy,” she said, still not quite looking at Steve.

He frowned a bit, “Hey, don’t worry about those assholes, okay? They know damn well nothing happened.” “That’s lovely,” she scoffed, finally glancing up at him, “Everyone else seems to think I’m some kind of slut that’ll do anything with anyone. People won’t stop talking about me and the guys? They keep smacking my ass like it’s some kind of game. It’s fucked up.”

Steve’s brow furrowed, “Well… well why don’t you tell someone?”

“You think I didn’t try?!” she exclaimed, her voice getting a bit higher, “All I got was being told that I was lucky to not get detention for dressing like a slut. And… I guess he might have a point.”

“Hey, that’s not true. You don’t deserve that, okay?”

“That’s a nice sentiment, but I’ve still gotta walk home and I still have to show up tomorrow and the day after that and… ugh just forget it,” she said, resting her forehead on the table.

He shook his head, “You don’t have to walk anywhere unless you really want that. Look, I’m not taking Nance anywhere at the moment. What if I drive you home today?”

“You’d do that?”

“It’s the least I could do, Annie. I might have some tape in my car too. It won’t fix your book great, but you’ll be able to finish it.”

“You’re sure you wanna do that? You don’t think it’ll ruin your chances with Nancy?”

Steve scoffed, “Come on, if there’s anyone who knows Tommy and Carol are full of it, it’s her. Now take the damn offer before I shove you into my car after school.”

Unable to come up with another excuse to decline the offer, the bell rang and she didn’t have much of a choice other than to accept. Which, she still wasn’t sure that Steve actually wanted to drive her home again. Wouldn’t that just make the rumors worse? Things already sounded pretty rough for him and Nancy without her getting involved.

Still, she got through the rest of the school day somehow. Her coat didn’t help all that much and she really just wished she could shrink back even more somehow. That was impossible, though.

Her mind couldn’t get onto the classes put in front of her. When she heard the bell ring to signal the end of the day, she wasn’t even sure Steve remembered. Not wanting to bother him on accident, she started to head out of the school on her own.

After shutting her locker, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Annie was quick to jump and reach into her coat pocket. Though, when she saw it was just Steve, she relaxed the slightest bit.

“Woah, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, “Are you ready to go?”

Annie looked at Steve blankly for a moment before nodding, "Yeah, um... totally."

"Cool."

They walked towards his car in an awkward silence. Annie could feel the eyes of other students boring into her. Still, she just continued to walk like she normally would. If she could just act like nothing was happening, then maybe everyone would stop staring. Though, she had her eyes trained on her black vans more than anything else.

Steve couldn't get his BMW unlocked fast enough, and she got right into the passenger seat. Her backpack was on the floor just in front of her feet. Really, she was paying attention to everything except for the boy in the driver's side.

"Do you only talk when you're drunk?" he asked, turning the key to start the car.

She shook her head, "I was tipsy."

"Ah, a really big difference," he remarked as he pulled out of the parking lot, "So how do you do it?"

Annie arched a brow, "Do what?"

"Not notice everything happening around you. It's kinda impressive."

She laughed a bit, "It's called acting. I know everyone's talking shit and staring. Obviously it bothers me, but... I don't even know how I'd react to all of it if I... well, you know..."

"Acknowledged it?"

"Yeah, that," she nodded, "I mean, you're in pretty good shape for a guy who kinda got fucked over by his girlfriend."

Steve looked over at her for a second before shrugging nonchalantly, "It's called acting."

"Oh, whatever," she rolled her eyes though she was smiling a bit.

He laughed, "So, were you just gonna walk everywhere for the whole school year?"

"Probably."

"Even when it's snowing?"

She shrugged, "I guess? I've never really dealt with snow, actually."

"Okay, then you're not walking. You're close enough to my place, I can pick you up and all that," he insisted.

"What about Nancy?" she asked, though she wasn't sure things would continue for much longer with the pair.

He shrugged, "You're my friend. I'll drive you until you find someone else to do it for you."

"Oh, alright. You don't have to, you know."

"Just take the offer, okay?" he responded as he pulled up to her driveway.

She smiled a bit, "Okay, fine."

"I'll be over here at seven thirty. If you're not out here, you're walking," he said, grinning.

Annie shook her head, "Whatever, see you tomorrow."

With that, she grabbed her things and got out of the car. In minutes, she was back in her house. The only other living thing in the house was Erik. Looking around the living room, she saw her cat resting on the couch.

She pulled her partially-ripped book from her backpack and sighed. There had to be tape around somewhere so she wouldn't make it worse as she read it. The moment still played in her head over and over. In fact, the whole day was on a loop.

There was some duct tape in a drawer. When her book was taped up, she went to the bathroom to wash off her makeup. Maybe it wasn't helping her. Maybe she did put on too much eyeliner. The lipstick could afford to be toned down, and she just wouldn't wear that skirt again.

It took a few minutes of scrubbing to get all the makeup off, but even then she couldn't justify everything in her mind. What made any of that okay? She couldn't really go to anyone. Sure, what Steve did was great, but was it too much to wish she could have stood up for herself? If she could be half as witty as the people she read about or pretended to be in drama class would be a dream come true.

The sun was going down earlier and earlier as the fall slowly became winter. She was beginning to hate having to rely on the lights more and more every day. Ever since her mom left for her business trip, power outages happened. Whatever it was she was seeing when they happened was something she chose to ignore. Who was she going to tell? To the best of people, she would just be lying. At worst, she'd be considered insane. And maybe she was, she couldn't figure that out herself.

As she continued to get through her book, it seemed more and more apparent that reading a horror novel was a horrible idea. Even with some music in the background, that didn't change the odd environment in the house. Her cat even seemed a bit stressed, running up and down the hall.

Still, nothing was going to make her chicken out of finishing the book. Except for the flickering lamp she was using to see what she was reading. She swore under her breath as the power shut off again. 

"Just relax... it's nothing, everything you see is totally meaningless. Your eyes are playing tricks on you. It's fine," she told herself.

This time, there were dark vines all over the living room. She got up and walked to the kitchen, hoping to find a knife. Sure enough, she was able to get one. There wasn't anything there, though. Nothing except for the vines and herself. She couldn't even hear her own cat. 

Then, the lights came on just as suddenly as they shut off and the phone was ringing. Annie rushed over to pick it up, the knife still in her hand. For a moment, she couldn't help wondering if someone was doing this to her.

"Um... hello?" she answered, clenching the knife.

A breath of relief left her when the voice of her mom came on the other end, "Annie, I'm just calling to make sure everything's alright."

"Yeah, totally. I've been going to school, feeding the cat, all that good stuff," she said.

"Good, nothing too crazy going on over there?"

"Nah, it's um... pretty boring, actually."

They talked like that for a few more minutes. Annie didn't want to worry her mom with a bunch of stuff that probably wasn't actually happening. That was the last thing she wanted to do. Surely all this would blow over. Rumors and delusions and anything in between. It had to solve itself because she didn't know what that would mean otherwise.

Tag List (please tell me if you would like to be on it): @dungeons-and-demodogs​ @jxnehxpper​ @ilovebucketbarnes​

[jewel-s-blog]

non-designated driver - s.jn

angst. y/nx(ex)boyfriend. fluff-y. y/nxjn 

warnings: possible underage drinking while under the influene and mentions cheating (because ya’ll know I live for angst--but don’t worry, we all know johnny could NEVER. so it’s not him)

a/n: aloha everyone! how has this month been for you? horrible? yea. same. but anyways, hopefully I’m about to make it a little better with this johnny drabble that I found tucked secretly away in my drive. it doesnt have a completed ending. plot is non-existent. and I don’t plan on making it a series. this is literally something that I woke up one day--specifically new year’s day--and was inspired to write for some reason (I blame my inability to recollect dreams as the cause for these random drabbles). and as always, us writers would KILL for some feedback, so yea. enjoy! xoxo jewel

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[11:49PM] 

“Did you drive here?” You frantically ask the guy who had half-heartedly tried to hit on you when you first walked into the house party an hour ago. He looks down at you while you gaze quickly back at the stairs you just ran down before looking back at the tall figure again.

“...yeah...I drove...why?” He replied, clearly surprised you were giving him any attention since his attempt to flirt with you earlier in the evening resulted in you shoving his arm off your shoulder and telling him that you already had a boyfriend.

But knowing that you needed to get out of there as soon as possible, you quickly raked your brain for a response that would have this guy driving you away from this frat party before the thing you so desperately needed to get away from came down the stairs. Looking for you. So you blurted out the first thing you figured would get the job done, 

“Wanna get out of here?” 

Pulling out your most flirtatious tricep rub and pretty head tilt caught the recipient of your efforts a bit off guard, but it wasn’t long before he caught on to your meaning. A little smirk lifted the fine corners of his mouth before clearing his throat and then bantering,

“What about that boyfriend of yours? You know, the whole reason you wouldn’t even look at me earlier?” He took a swig from his red solo cup* and peered down at you again through haughty eyes. Internally sighing at the fact that you had willingly decided to revisit a conversation with him, you told yourself that it was too late to do anything else now and that if you had any hope of fleeing soon, it could only be with this guy. 

So you sucked it up and said, “He’s irrelevant right now. So are we leaving or not?” 

He waited a beat, as if considering whether or not you were being serious, before saying, “Yeah, let’s go. I was thinking about leaving soon anyway. I’m parked just across the street,” he motioned with his alcohol-clad hand.

“Perfect,” you smiled at him. “I really need to get out of here.” That was all you said before making your way towards the front door, feeling the presence of your driver following just on your heels. You barely make it out onto the porch before you hear your name being called,

“Y/n!” 

Knowing whose mouth your name had just come out from, you kept walking. In fact, you walked even faster. The body that had been following you up until the porch paused to look back for a second when he heard the yell, but kept following when he noticed you hadn’t stopped. 

A small car across the street lights up momentarily, and your driver strides quickly past you, pointing out at it. He gets in first, while you walk around to get in on the passenger side. Just as you bend down to slide in, you hear your name being called out yet again, with it the appearance of your boyfriend pushing through the front door. 

With one hand on the car door, and one on the roof of the car, you feel the engine start up beneath your fingertips. And just as your driver tells you to get in, your boyfriend’s scanning eyes across the street meet yours for just a second. That seems to light a fire under your butt because next thing you know, you are clamoring in the little sedan and hitting the electric lock button.

“DRIVE.” The command slips out your mouth as you stare ahead. 

“Aren’t you gonna put on your seatb--”

His safety concern is interrupted by the sound of slapping on his window. Lo and behold, accompanying the slapping of his drivers’ window is the face of your boyfriend, eyes wide and frenzied. 

“GET OUT OF THE CAR Y/N.” Despite his voice being muffled by the plexiglass barrier, you hear it loud and clear, but stay still in the passenger seat. The view of your boyfriend’s face is then blocked by that of your driver. 

“You know this guy?” His brows furrow together.

“Ugh~~~, just drive already,” You whine. “Please?”, finally revealing a bit of the desperation that got you to this point. 

In the time you had taken to respond to your driver’s question, your boyfriend had come around to the passenger side and began his assault on the window there. Over and over you name was yelled out between slams on the window, and demands for you to “get out of the car” or “just let me explain.” 

Your driver however, was unsatisfied with the answer to his most recent question, and reinforced,

“No. I’m not driving anywhere until you tell me who this guy is.” His long arm reaches across you to point at your boyfriend. “DUDE, stop hitting my window man.” He directs at the male trapped outside.

“Well?” He looks back at you.

In one breath, you explain, “This guy is the boyfriend that I just caught cheating on me upstairs in that stupid party.”

At that, he pauses for a beat before he sits back in his seat and shifts the car into gear, “Good enough for me.” 

In seconds, the party and your now-ex are far behind you. And it is only then when it finally strikes you that you have willingly gotten into the car of a complete stranger who is driving to God-knows-where. 

Maybe he notices the shaking of your pupils, or the awkward fidgeting in the passenger seat, because when you reach the next traffic light, he lazily looks over at you and says, “You probably don’t remember, but my name is Johnny.” A little chuckle escaped his lips.

“I’m not a serial killer, or schizophrenic kidnapper--if  that’s what you’re thinking,” he jokes as he turns his head forward again. From that, you notice an adorable lisp that has become more noticeable than before, which leads you to begin staring at the perfect corners of his lips. In fact, there are a lot of things you didn’t notice before, such as how long he is, and how his chestnut hair is ridiculously well-maintained. 

But when the light turns green and the car doesn’t begin moving forward, you realize that he’s been watching you stare at him through the corners of his eyes the entire time, so quickly you look away. Red hot blood floods to your neck and cheeks, making it feel like it’s 98 degrees out. 

Johnny notices, but only chuckles before accelerating forward, and asking,

“So, where are we going now?”

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*psa! do your best to not use plastic cups. if you're gonna have a good time, at least try to stay environmentally conscious while you’re at it ;) also, if you bring a reusable tumbler w/ a straw and lid, you lessen the risk of someone slipping something in your drink. I know it probably sounds lame, but I go to college in cali, and there are lots of girls who do this so you won’t be the only one. Either way, what’s more important? For me personally, im a lot more concerned about climate change and not getting drugged over maintaining my personal ‘coolness’ status to a bunch of other people who will be too smashed to even notice what im drinking out of

[sasskarian]

The Mostly-Complete Rise of Skywalker semi-liveblog and reaction list that literally no one asked for

I really dig the parallels between Exegol and Korriban. The way both places felt massive and cramped at the same time, all ominous and tomb-like. Both of them are desolate, devoid of all life. They both feel barren, but not just barren. Korriban feels like history crumbling beneath your fingertips. Exegol feels like a place that’s actively trying to wound you with its desolation, like it’s sucking the life out of you to try and renew itself. (Which, given that Palpatine is there and what he does later, yeah, that tracks.)

When Palps tells Kylo to kill Rey, you can see the micro expression in his eyes. The way the muscles in his face tighten up for a second, the brows drawing down in an expression of disdain and repulsion. If we could have seen his mouth, I’d lay money down on there being a sneer flash across his face for a moment. And damn if Adam isn’t a good actor for being able to portray something that subtle.

There were definitely a few moments where Chewie bitches at Poe for the stunts he’s pulling, including a very definitive accusation of “Rey would never do this to me or the Falcon,” or something along those lines. (This is when Poe snarls, “Yeah, well, Rey’s not here right now, is she?”)

Kylo reaching out into the Force. We’re supposed to think he’s trying to reach Anakin/Vader, but I don’t think that’s what happened at all. I think that he reached for Rey specifically, possibly as a self-soothing gesture. The need to feel her alive, reassure himself. And because of Rey’s feelings and connections to his own family, he’s clearly struggling with his more monstrous acts, and with seeing Luke and Han as intrusive thoughts.

Rey failing the training course because of him makes perfect sense. Notice that this is also when she gets angry.

The Kintsugi vibe given off by Ren’s helmet repairs are fascinating.

Given the way Pryde keeps focusing on Hux during the meeting, I feel like he suspects Hux.

I find it interesting that Finn seems to be the peacekeeper in the OT3. Poe is definitely a hothead, even though he’s matured since TFA and TLJ. And Rey snaps back at him, indignant that he’s snapping at her. And Finn is the one doing the “Guys, guYS, we don’t have TIME for this” routine.

I like the quiet horror of Rey recognizing Exegol’s name. Whether it’s Force shenanigans, or from reading Luke’s books, or from the vision, whatever. The recognition followed by horror is Good Fucking Acting.

I wish that there’d been a little more of Luke or Leia reassuring Rey that a name is just a name. That the legacy is what you make it. And that as the children of Anakin Skywalker, they know that better than anyone. I feel like that would have been a good tie-in and highlight for the way the surnames are treated in the movies. Ben shunning both Organa and Solo, Rey having a last name at last but one that carries the same kind of stigma and Dark past.

I… kind of wonder if Ren surrounded himself in atrocities as a means of self-punishment. We know it’s canon that he keeps being pulled to the Light, and that every time he does, he tries something Dark. Maybe it’s his way of reminding himself how far he’s fallen and that he can’t ever go back home again (which we know is bullshit, but hey, abuse fucks your brain up, and Snoke was abusive af). Like, again, I know it’s mostly just in the comics so far, but we see him a lot saying, “I never wanted this,” “I don’t want to do this.”

The Pasaana dance in the festival seems pretty clearly modeled after tribal dances, and that makes me wonder if powerful dances like the Dha Werda and the Ancestor Dance shown in the film send ripples through the Force. And what that might be like.

I… kind of like the idea of Ben and Kylo struggling for control? I need to finish reading TLJ and read TRoS when it comes out, but there are things Kylo does—the almost-gentle banter with Rey, the way he reaches out in TLJ when she’s on Ahch-To, warning her about Palps—that doesn’t make sense from a purely Kylo perspective. I mean, I’m also an angst gremlin who enjoys the idea of Kylo losing more ground to Ben Solo, and having serious identity clashes.

The bond between Rey and Kylo has grown exponentially. Each movie, it gets bigger and more powerful. In TFA, it allowed her to look into his head. And he wasn’t able to really bring himself to hurt her. In TLJ, it bridges impossible distances of space, even so far as transporting physical objects across the distance. And in TRoS, we see that it’s gotten so strong, it literally blocks out the rest of the physical world. You could argue that the darkness in the bond is what’s overshadowing it, but I don’t count it that way. Rey’s surroundings on Pasaana are slowed down and muted, as if only Ren is her focus.

The trio is so drift compatible, it hurts.

The way the trio grabs for each other, though. It was beautiful. Disney may have decided that Poe/Finn wasn’t a thing, which we all know is a damn lie, but this movie ships the OT3 so hard. The way Poe catches Rey as she falls, the way they both turn at almost the same time to look for Finn. The casual touching.

Childish though it was, I did enjoy the “mine’s bigger” joke with Rey’s lightsaber vs Poe’s flashlight.

Rey shows an affinity for Animal Empathy. Ren has used Stasis more than once. I could even argue that there’s been some subtle Battle Meditation going on throughout the series. And I kind of? Like that we’re seeing some of the more obscure and subtle Force powers.

Also? The snakey slow-blink? I love.

Rey seems to have some psychometry abilities. And I love it.

The way Rey says “I’ll be right behind you” isn’t what it sounds like. It has a lot of layers to it. (Just like Han’s “I know” in ESB) It’s declaration of intent (“I’ll handle this”), it’s a request (“Trust me”), and it’s consolation and reassurance (“I’ll be fine.”). The way all that is conveyed with five simple words is. Ugh. My heart.

As Finn gets stronger in the Force, I’m enjoying seeing his instincts kick in. He senses Ren’s approach, which is a nice completion of the parallel to TFA when Ren sensed him as the traitor.

I don’t know who’s read the Rise of Kylo comic, but the way she slices his ship to bring him down is a direct parallel to the shot he made when he escaped the destroyed Temple. (I love all the tie-ins, honestly)

Rey was doing okay with trying to pull the transport down until Kylo stepped in to push her. The most likely scenario is less “force lightning is genetic” (because that’s crap) but more that anger clouded her mind and she already had a direct Force ability going.

When I asked my roommate why she thought Rey couldn’t sense Chewie’s life force, she gave me an interesting theory. Well, a few, but one I think makes a lot of sense. The first was that Chewie was already off-world and thus too far away (later debunked by her sensing him as the Destroyer is in orbit). Or that maybe the transports were shielded against Force Abilities, but given that they’re so rare in this era, I don’t think that’s the case. I agree with my roomie in saying that it’s more likely that Rey burnt out part of her senses and basically put herself in shock due to the feedback of casting a powerful and traditionally dark side ability for the first time.

The first couple of times I watched the movie, the entire Threepio arc bothered me. Why didn’t they just plug him into the navicomputer, the way they’d done before? Why the angst build-up? Then I remembered that they left the Falcon on Pasaana, and it’s possible that L3 is more equipped to talk to Threepio’s forbidden memory banks than a post-TCW era ship that’s almost certainly out of date.

…Zorii and Poe have A Past. I’d put money on them having banged like screen doors in a hurricane at least a few times.

“Who are you hanging out with that spEAKS SITH?!?”

I? love? Babu?

“Does she do that to us?” had me in tears.

Oh my God, the sheer #aesthetic and foreshadowing of her duel with Ren. The red fruit (cherries?) spilling across the floor, the stark color against the too-bright white. The way Vader’s helmet thunks on the ground like a sour note in a song, the way the pedestal shatters with their combined strikes. Vader falling from Ren’s worship (as the truth is revealed that it was Snoke/Palps messing with his mind and he never heard Vader), the dark glass shattering the same way the darkness in Ren dies with him.

Finn is… kind of a gossipy biddy and I love it. The way Jannah hands him the part and he just flat out abandons the work to talk, the body language as he hoists himself up to sit on the ledge. I love it. He’s precious.

I wonder if the Death Star echoes in the Force. So many brutal deaths in those halls. So many restless ghosts.

…okay, I’m not sure how to feel about the dagger lining up with the fallen DS’s architecture. Because like. There’s so many layers to that? That suggests that Palps had the dagger created after Endor/RoTJ. Which suggests that he may have had the Wayfinders created then too (though it seemed pretty comfy in the Vault, so maybe he already had them?) (Also, there was one on Mustafar. Was it planted there? Did Vader know about Exegol? I need more information than this!) And like. The Death Star is sitting in a violent sea. It’s going to degrade eventually. What if the horizon line had changed? What then? It seems flimsy, for all that it was dramatic and cool.

The sheer aesthetic in this movie, though. The symbolism is everywhere. Like Rey taking the skimmer. I love the aesthetic choices of her struggling against these giant, furious waves as a fantastic visual analogy of her struggle against the emotions churning away inside her. And how Despair and Fear and even Anger threaten to overwhelm her and drown her, but she keeps holding tight to that little skimmer the same way she’s clinging to Luke’s teachings and Leia’s love and faith in her. Their belief in her.

“You don’t know what she’s fighting.” “And you do?” I wonder if, as a Force Adept, Finn can sense the bond between Rey and Ren, and that she’s struggling against it. As well as the Palpatine name.

Theory (that may or may not have been explored in the Legends EU): Any place steeped in enough Dark emotion can become a place of visions like the Mirror Cave and Dagobah’s Cave. Rey comes face to face with her worst fear on the Death Star.

Speaking of, I wonder if some small part of Rey enjoyed the vision of her and Kylo as Emperor and Empress. I wonder if that’s where the abject horror comes from.

Speaking of more aesthetic, the on-screen contrast and history of the window where Vader and Luke dueled, and the shot of Palps’ throne over Rey’s shoulder. Sorry not sorry but I’m going to be forever in love with the cinematography in this movie.

Ren seems… almost exasperated that she’s still drawing her saber on him. That has fic potential.

That. Entire. Fucking. Duel. That entire battle. Just… oof. OOF. My heart. It blew everything in me wide open. Looking with the eyes of a writer and SW expert instead of the wide-eyed “my hEaRt!” first reaction, I saw So Much. Like Rey and Ren trading battle stances. IDK if anyone else noticed, and it’s happened before (the throne room battle in TLJ, notably, but also their duel in Ren’s quarters). But here, it’s so clear. They gave and took from each other as they fought, and that broke my heart. It threw me back to KotOR II’s echani battles, and the fight between Sun and Mun in Sense8. Here, unlike TLJ, they weren’t fighting in tandem with each other. This was back and forth. Rey starts out saber up, in what looks like shii-cho. Kylo, like always, starts out in Ataru, with heavy, powerful strikes trying to bludgeon down her defense. Rey switches to an offensive, then to fast, agile strikes holding her lightsaber Ahsoka style. Kylo then switches to shii-cho, and Rey enters Ataru, with the aggressive offensive. The way they switched between each other was fantastic.

Near the end, Rey starts giving up. You can see it. Her movements get sluggish, like she’s just going through the motions. Like she’s so tired of fighting the bond in her head, her reluctant pull to him, like she’s just. So Fucking Tired. She’s resigned.

Kylo Ren dying by his own lightsaber while Ben’s mother called to him. That symbolism. That symbolism, though.

The way he looks around, like he’s in shock. The way the battle just stops, and he’s sitting there, dying. You can see the change in him, as Ben wakes up and Kylo dies. There’s so much shell-shock and disorientation, like someone who’s been asleep for too long, waking up confused. And I’d like to believe that Rey healing him poured not just healing but maybe a little Light into him, and that, along with Leia reaching for him, is what gave Ben the strength to rise over Kylo and overpower him. (See also, my love of internal power struggles)

“I did want to take your hand. Ben’s hand.” Excuse you, I did not sign up for this feels trip.

Rey running away. I have… conflicted feelings on? Did she run away because she was grieving? To escape her own history? Did she run because she gave into the dark and struck down Kylo in anger? Or because she was tempted by Ben?

I know everyone says that Han was just a memory but I prefer to believe that Han’s just too stubborn to be a proper Force Ghost. And Disney and Lucasarts can pry Force Sensitive Han Solo out of my cold dead hands.

Luke, materializing out of the air and catching the saber. My heart screamed. Especially when he chided her (and himself) that a lightsaber deserves more respect.

“Leia didn’t tell me.” I think… I think Leia was trying to, without saying the words, “Rey, you’re a Palpatine.” She said, “Never be afraid of who you are.” And oh, God, that’s something Leia would know. In the EU she struggles with being Anakin’s daughter, with the legacy of Vader hanging over her. She struggles with it so much. And finally comes to terms with it. So if anyone knows what that’s like, it’s going to be her.

­­­"She sensed the death of her son at the end of her Jedi path." So... she had nearly thirty years to plan for it. Yoda says, “Always in motion, the future is.” I don’t believe for a single instant that Leia Organa shrugged her shoulders and said “Welp, guess my kid’s gonna die.”

Luke KNEW Ben would go to Exegol. He knew and no one will ever convince me otherwise. “Take both sabers.” She’d need one for Ben.

I wonder if Lando looks at the Falcon and sees all the little pieces of Han.

So. The arrival order at Exegol threw me for a while. Rey gets there, in Red 5. Using the toasted Wayfinder. Then the Resistance arrives, following her trail. We see Ben arrive in a TIE fighter. But… how? Rey’s trail was given to the Resistance on what I can only imagine is an encrypted wave data burst. We know it was technically given to Lando, so that the people joining the battle could find them. But Ben’s in a TIE fighter. Did he get the message from Lando? Were the coordinates already programmed into the TIE via the Final Order? Did he memorize the path from before (given that he’s a stellar pilot like Han)? Did Rey give it to him?

I hate Palps being a one-trick pony in the movies. We see him in TCW having other abilities, and mad saber skills. But in the movies, his schtick is the same every time: He seduces people to the Dark and makes them feel like they don’t have a choice, usually by dangling, “Look, you can SAVE THEM” in front of everyone. And then once he has them, he keeps them by constantly belittling them and reminding them that there’s nowhere else for them to go, because they burnt all their bridges. (Ex: Vader being reminded of what he did to Padme, and Kylo being reminded via Snoke of his own actions)

WEDGE. WEDGE ANTILLES. WEDGE.

Rey felt Ben’s approach, and you can see the change in her body language.

THAT IS THE MOST HAN SOLO THING I HAVE EVER SEEN AND IT’S NOT EVEN HAN SOLO. Watching the changes in Ben (vs Kylo) is so fucking great. He’s lighter, he’s faster. He skids (Han/Death Star), shoots behind him (Han/TFA), and the Solo Shrug. Ugh. Seeing Leia and Han blended in Ben with the Solo swagger, and Leia’s grace is fantastic.

Also: he looks so Soft. And so much younger.

I wonder if they’re communicating through the bond? He knows she can see him, because he nods at her to give him the saber. And unless I didn’t see correctly, she mouthed/whispered his name. And again, we see the connections between them in the fighting style. They’re still acting and reacting like extensions of each other.

The way they meet, the relief on their faces. Relief that melts into stubbornness and determination. Also, the way they take up their sabers in the same stance, the same expression. It’s delicious.

We were ROBBED of seeing the Jedi around Rey. ROBBED.

I’m STILL SALTY that they weren’t there for Ben (that we can see anyway).

Ben proceeded to completely shatter my heart. When he pulls Rey into his lap, he looks around like he’s waiting for someone to tell him what to do. He’s actively seeking guidance and help. And because we don’t have an in to Ben’s head, we don’t know if someone told him what to do or how to do it, or if anyone comforted him. But we do see his face go from disbelief to despair to acceptance.

The face touch. Stop breaking my damn heart.

When the Core ships arrive, I’m almost positive I saw The Razorcrest and the Ghost. I need to check the disc where I can pause it, but I’d put money on it that I saw them.

The way the trio grabs for each other at the end is more movie-shipping-OT3. Finn holding the two people he loves most in the world, right where he can see them. Poe taking Rey’s hand. They don’t know what happened in the Citadel, but I’m pretty sure Finn can feel how tired Rey is, how wounded she is. And they’re There For Her.

Rey burying the sabers on Tatooine has so many emotions attached to it. Tatooine, where Anakin Skywalker was born of the Force, where Luke spent his formative years. Luke and Leia resting together in the Force, as their student moves on and tries to find her way in the galaxy. And the parallels and tie ins from TFA to now, like Rey building a dual saber from parts of her quarterstaff, the sand sliding, and the OT callback to the protag being silhouetted by the twin suns, were satisfying.

Rey’s saber being yellow is something I find… interesting. If you look at the newer movies, whenever a blue or green saber crosses with a red one, the light sparks and blending of the plasma fields look yellow. And Kyber crystals (in the new canon) aren’t colored. They take on a color when the jedi awakes the force in them. So for her color to resonate yellow as someone balanced in light and dark makes a lot of sense.

I have… Opinions on the surname controversy that I’m still trying to sort through. And I definitely have Opinions on Ben sacrificing himself (mostly that the entire sequel trilogy spent two and a half movies harping on about balance only to kill off half the balance and leave a Force Wound in their protag)

***

Was Rise of Skywalker a good movie? Eh. That depends a lot on your criteria.

Was it a successful Star Wars movie? That also depends on your criteria.

But for me, it felt like Star Wars. It felt like an ending to the Skywalker saga. Did I get everything I wanted? No. Am I salty about parts of it? Absolutely. Are there plot holes I could drive a Death Star through? You betcha. Were we robbed of a better, more cohesive movie based on the leaks from JJ’s crew? YUP.

But I found things to enjoy. I got things I wanted (OT3! Force Sensitive Finn! Bendemption! Lando! Hope for the galaxy!), didn’t know I wanted (Master Leia! D-O the anxiety droid! Generals Finn and Poe!), and things I definitely didn’t want.

[ofwizardsandmen]

Maybe

College AU 

Maybe being more than just friends with isn’t as impossible as their insecurities made them believe every other day.

Pairing: Tara x Mark 

Word count: 2k

The smell of freshly roasted coffee beans hits Tara’s nostrils as soon as she walks into M’s café. It’s early in the morning and the place is almost empty except for —obviously and as per usual— M, a girl in the far end corner of the shop and a middle-aged man standing by the cashier.

Tara takes her spot in her favorite table next to the wall and starts placing her stuff on the table when the entrance door flies open and a hooded figure trots in. A smile forms on Tara’s lips but vanishes when the man pushes the hood, revealing blond strands of hair. Huffing in disappointment, she pouts slightly and goes back to the task of taking her laptop off her vintage Dior mini travel bag. Yet, she’s interrupted once again when the blond guy greets her from the counter

“Hi, Tara, what can I serve you today?” Sungjae doesn’t say it, but Tara swears he feels tempted to ask what’s wrong with her face because she’s fully aware of how deadly pale and sick she looks this morning.

“A double espresso, please.” She says simply as she opens her laptop. “With a spoon of arsenic, if possible” She adds, making Sungjae and herself chuckle.

“Ugh, sorry. Still haven’t found a way to merge the coffee shop with a dark apothecary” M joins the conversation once the middle-aged man picks his coffee and walks out. “It’s just 8 am, it might not be that bad”

“Do you even know who my brother is-?” Tara begins and Sungjae groans at the simple mention of Tyler Lee

“Ok, correction” He interrupts “It can be that bad”  

Tara nods in agreement and places her elbows on the table “It was and I truly believed it’d be better now that he’s a university student, but he’s worse” She lets out a deep sigh before she returns to her laptop and Sungjae moves to prepare her coffee, but M remains on the very same spot looking at her hesitantly, as though he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t push himself to.

Noticing his eyes on her, Tara contemplates the options. She could as well say nothing, move on and continue to feel miserable or she could talk to someone —M, for example—, get things off her chest and be miserable afterward.

“To the hell with it, I hate Tyler, he’s just so freaking immature and believes I’m some dumb teenager who doesn’t know what she’s doing or is stupid enough to let people take advantage of her.” Tara almost feels as though the heavy burden that stopped her from breathing properly has finally been released, but the feeling is short-lived once the memories of the previous night assault her thoughts for the umpteenth time that day. “And he is so rude. I am so embarrassed he’s my brother. Can I die so I don’t have to go to class?” She whines, burying her face in her hands.

“Wow, I didn’t know it was this bad” M meditates his words for a brief moment before going on “I wouldn’t know since I don’t have any sisters, but maybe he just feels responsible for whatever happens to you, so-“

“So he had to embarrass me in front of my-“ Another word is about to come off Tara’s lips, but she stops herself “my classmate”

A small knowing smile makes its way onto M’s lips, but Tara is already too engrossed in telling the story of how her brother made a scene after finding  Mark in her apartment, to notice.

“I don’t know what he has in that perverted brain of his, but we were literally studying, we were doing the whole table full of books and cup of coffee in hand, and he still had the nerve to accuse Mark of planning and I quote him “take advantage of my innocence”. What am I? A 4-year-old?” Tara vents, huffing every once in a while to express her frustration. “Mark probably hates me now” she sighs this time “Tyler was awful to him, I wouldn’t blame him if he never wants to hang out with me again”

“Oh, come on, have you ever seen the way he-“ Sungjae stops mid-sentence and trying to act as casual as the slight blush on his face allows him to, he places the cup of coffee on the counter. “I mean, no. Why would you think that?”

“Because Mark was supposed to be here to finish our group assignment, like half of an hour ago and he’s nowhere to be seen, so-“

“He probably overslept” M interrupts this time as he places the coffee on Tara’s table.

“He’s never late,” Tara says matter-of-factly. “I even came late on purpose”

“Maybe he forgot?” Sungjae ventures from the cashier.

“Maybe he doesn’t want anything to do with someone who is treated like a little child by her idiotic brother?”

“Oh, come on Tara” M clicks his tongue reprovingly “Where’s your positive mindset?”

“Buried along with my will to live and my dignity,” Tara says after sipping from the cup of coffee. “And the chances to keep Mark as a friend”

“I don’t think Mark had taken him too seriously” M chuckles, holding back the desire to tell Tara that probably the last thing Mark wants is to keep her as a mere friend, but he would never ghost her for such dumb incident.

Not like he knows him a whole lot either, but judging by all the times he has seen them at the cafe together, it appears to him (and everybody really) that Mark has the biggest crush on Tara.

“It is painfully obvious how little you know Tyler and how much you trust people’s good intentions” Tara comments.

“No, I mean, he’s about to walk in” M says, pointing outside with his chin.

Seconds later Mark steps into the coffee shop rubbing his hands and shuddering the slightest bit. M mutters something under his breath that sounds a lot like “good luck” and walks away, leaving Tara to panic internally on her own.

The young woman pretends not to notice Mark’s presence and instead she fake reads something from the screen of her laptop.

“Hey” Mark skips a more cordial greeting, but Tara ignores it because she keeps pondering whether she should say something about what happened last night or not “I’m sorry I’m late, Jaehyun and I went to the gym and I really needed a shower,” he says touching his nape clumsily.

The thought of Mark being unable to look at her in the eyes briefly crosses her mind, but Tara doesn’t want to deal with the implications just now, so she forces herself to look up and plaster a smile on her face.

“Oh, it’s fine. I just got her-” Tara lies, but whatever she was planning to say next dies in her throat the moment she makes a double-take and notices Mark’s wet hair sticking to his forehead. “Uh- shall we start working? We only have like two hours to finish Mr. Vincent’s paper and-“

“Well, yes I wanted to talk about it-“  Mark says, pulling a folder from his messenger bag and placing it on the table “I already completed it with the info you got yesterday. You can read it and make corrections if you wish.”

“Mark, you shouldn’t have-“ Tara doesn’t know if she’s reading the situation correctly, but it appears to her that Mark couldn’t bear the idea of working with her, so he decided to pull an all-nighter and avoid being stuck with her this morning. Frankly, it is understandable considering Tyler had threatened to “destroy his life” (whatever that meant) if he ever saw him near his sister again, but that doesn’t stop Tara from feeling a void in the chest.

“Oh, no, it’s fine. We all stayed up last night at the frat” Mark says, pulling an empty chair out the table.

Tara unconsciously bits the inside of her cheek before picking the cup of coffee and downing its content as Mark sits across.

The strong flavor of the espresso almost feels sweet when it hits Tara’s palate. Or probably it is in comparison to the bitter taste that Mark’s words have left in her mouth.

“Jungwoo has a big exam this morning and we wanted to show support.” Mark’s smile is so disheartening to watch that Tara distracts herself closing the laptop and taking her coin purse out of her pocket  “I even started the assignment for the Modern British drama course.”

“That’s great,” She says insincerely, hoping to make a smooth transition that allows her to leave without rising suspicion.

“Maybe you can read it later and give me your feedback” Mark suggests hopefully, his eyes widening slightly behind the round reading glasses he’s wearing this morning.

“Sure, why not?” Tara slides her laptop back in the Dior bag. “Since the assignment is done, I think I might get going, I promised Enzo I’d help him to study for a test” She stands up with as much grace as she can muster, which truthfully is not a whole lot given the sleepless night she went through. “I’ll see you later, Mark.”

“Tara, wait!” Mark’s voice even makes the girl in the back turn to look at him, but it takes him a few seconds to register he has moved to grab Tara’s hand in an attempt to stop her from leaving. “I was hoping we could hang out.“ He says after clearing his throat "I mean, we’ve been studying non stop the past weeks and-“ Once he notices Tara’s face flushing, he slowly releases her hand. “I thought we could… maybe… catch the morning screening of Little Women”

Tara unsuccessfully attempts to hide the excitement when she listens to the last two words, but she’s already beaming when she nods her head eagerly and claims she’d love to and that she had been planning to watch the movie with Enzo over the weekend. Mark’s face falls a bit after hearing that name for the second time, but he ignores the jab of jealousy kicking him in the gut.

“By the way…” Tara begins once she sits back down. She hesitates for a brief moment but eventually gathers the courage to go on. “I’m sorry about last night. My brother… he can be a real jerk sometimes.” She makes a pause and corrects herself after realizing that ‘sometimes’ is a bit of an understatement. “Better said, most of the time and I’m so-”

“Don’t even say it” Mark says solemnly, his face growing serious and eyes boring into hers. “It really wasn’t your fault and I might understand where he was coming from. It was really late and it wasn’t right for me to be there.”

“Mark, you are my friend and we were studying, it was more than ok for you to be there. You did nothing wrong.”

“Yeah, right” Mark feels as though Tara had slapped him, but it is probably exactly the realization of being only a friend to her what makes him bold enough to say the next words “But what if he thought I wasn’t just a regular friend?”.

“It would still be off-limits for my brother to act like a jerk. In fact, if you were more than just a friend it would be even worse he treated you that way” Tara says the last sentence a bit too vehemently, making Mark smile widely.

He doesn’t add anything, but he thinks that perhaps Jaehyun and Johnny are not too mistaken when they affirm Tara wouldn’t say no if he asked her out.

Maybe being more than just friends with her isn’t as impossible as his insecurities made him believe every other day.

And maybe, just maybe, he is willing to put up with her brother and his meddling even if that means he will probably have to be on the receiving end of his wrath.

Maybe it all be worth if he gets to see Tara smiling brightly at him, like she is right now, every day.

**

[petermjdaya]

My experience visiting the set of FFH.

Please credit if you share! Warning: Potential Spoilers

I only just stopped crying over this weekend, so hopefully I can write about it coherently. And hopefully I don’t miss anything--besides of course, the parts that I can’t share.

I first just want to say thank you to Mir who has been planning this adventure with me for the past two weeks and kept me sane throughout the weekend. Thanks for being the best temporary roommate, for the Dunkin runs, subway swipes, and of course, the adventure of a lifetime. Jessie- thank you for being braver than the US marines, and for being ten steps ahead of us at all times. To Bayley and the Bosco bitches, everyone I got to meet this weekend- I LOVE YOU. I am grateful to have shared it with you. See you soon.

Note: I have been spending the past 10 days scouting locations, getting some right, some wrong. Every time I see a yellow sign on the street or a suburban or a crowd of people now, my blood pressure rises. My anxiety truly won this week. I tried to be as discreet as possible about specifics, telling white lies when I needed to, or avoiding DM’s, which probably came off as very selfish. But I want to say that I was genuinely looking out for the cast and their safety. Seeing fans run after cars, autograph collectors stand outside of their trailers, and even hear people say “if I don’t get a picture with ____ this won’t be worth it” made me really sad. At the end of the day, the thing I realized most this weekend was how much Tom and Zendaya care about their fans. If they interacted with us, most of us put our phones away just to be able to make a genuine connection with them. They look you directly into the eyes and talk to you as if you have been friends for years. I really really appreciate that. I hope you all get the chance to experience the same thing.

Edited to include meeting Tom on Thursday, 10/18/2018.

Friday

It started around 6:40 am on Friday. My best friend Kacey and I met up with Mir, then Jessie, then Liz. We all sat in a Starbucks near the 8th Avenue set, and noticed crew getting ready and moving equipment. While we were waiting for our food, Darnell walked in. WE HAD ONLY BEEN THERE FOR FIVE MINUTES and we did not want to expose ourselves as fans so early in the morning especially since crew members were also there. We ended up just smiling and eating to conserve our energy for what would be an incredibly long day. Then we left to see if the cast had arrived and where they would actually be filming. We camped out in the Duane Reade across the street (in the back of some set photos) for probably 45 minutes before we saw Tom, Zendaya, Harry, and their PA’s. They arrived together (not in costume) and started walking over to their trailer(s). Miranda spotted them first, and we loosely followed them to see where they were going. Zendaya crossed the street first, then Tom and Harry. So we only saw which trailer Tom and Harry walked into. We ended up walking back to set and saw that they had extras sitting on the steps of Penn Station getting directions. Crew members directed us away from the set and we complied. Jessie ended up sitting on the steps and wasn’t questioned until later (and then was kicked out when they realized she wasn’t an extra, hahaha but we applaud her bravery anyway). We walked in circles, breaking into smaller groups so we wouldn’t seem suspicious and then went into the Post Office above Penn Station. We saw the two stunt doubles being hooked up to the crane and joked about how it would probably be a spideychelle scene. Then we saw Tom and Zendaya walk into Penn Station so we walked in as well, but they had gone to a private corridor so Tom could get changed into the spidey costume. Everything after that happened very quickly. Liz decided to sit on the Penn Station steps which was no longer being used for a scene, and luckily, she spotted Zendaya and Tom (in costume) before the rest of NYC. We secured a spot at the top of the steps while they discussed the scene and were hooked up to the crane. I was live tweeting at that point but I did not want to get in trouble, so I hinted that fans would be excited for the scene. I am so sorry for teasing. I am genuinely scared of Marvel and did not want them to come for me. I hope that Marvel does not come after my ass for writing this. Please, God.

Tom and Zendaya spotted us almost immediately, which is funny because we assumed that Tom couldn’t see very far through the mask. The first time we waved, it was basically only us on the steps and Zendaya waved right back. After they filmed a couple of takes of the scene with them going up, then high-fiving, Tom did a particularly good take so we fake clapped. He saw it and tilted his head back (probably laughing) and gave us a peace sign. Zendaya immediately looked over at us too and waved. Ugh. King and Queen. When we took our phones out to take pictures, and see how twitter was reacting to locals’ tweets about the scene, Zendaya pretended to be scrolling on her phone and Tom pretended to be texting exaggeratedly, mocking us. They both laughed at our asses. We were so caught off by this and I hid my phone so quick so they wouldn’t drag me again. We sat on the steps and watched them do multiple takes, which some found to be super tedious but I found super interesting. They would yell “ROLLING!” and the cameras would start rolling, then “BACKGROUND” and extras would start moving, then “CAMERA” and the camera would start moving, then of course, the actors cue, “ACTION!”.

Every time they would finish the scene, Tom and Zendaya would talk, Jon would come over to probably give them feedback on the scene, and when they had time, they would look over and wave to fans. Our group got bigger throughout the day when Bayley, Troy, Maria, etc joined and Tom and Zendaya would always acknowledge us. We truly felt like the chosen ones. Harry even took a picture of us on his camera, and some crew members put us on their stories. We always waved when they turned around, and they smiled. Finally T and Z finished the scene and went back inside, waving at us and the rest of the fans who had arrived. The crew filmed more scenes with extras, then Zendaya filmed a scene, and then Tom came out (as Tom) and walked back to his trailer. He ended up coming back less than an hour later to get changed back into the spidey suit. The lighting kept changing, so they changed positions multiple times. After they would finish a scene they went into a tent to watch it on the monitors. I did not realize that Kevin Feige was sitting inside until he came out to take a phone call. Jessie had spotted Amy Pascal that morning, so both of them were present to see Tom and Zendaya film their scene.

By the end of the day on this particular set, we had moved around quite a lot. We were asked to leave the steps so we went across the street. Whenever the crew told us to move, we complied. At one point we were literally standing next to Remy and only Maria had realized. The amount of times this happened this weekend was literally ridiculous. He eventually went over to Zendaya to say hi and then talked to Harry and another PA. Some guy behind us kept yelling at Harry, which at first was pretty funny until he started shouting repeatedly for a selfie. Harry ended up walking away. Lol. Then we were told we had to move because we were blocking the sidewalk, so we asked a crew member if we could go sit back on the steps. He said yes, so we did. Then we were stopped twice by crew members who told us we couldn’t go back up, but the guy in charge told them that we could. Wow, our power. Shoutout to them for being super nice. <3

One funny story from this is that at one point I had reached up with my shirt to clean the lense of Kacey’s camera, accidentally flashing the cast, crew, as well as the city of New York. The dumbass in me truly jumped out on this day. I am so sorry to all witnesses.

Eventually, they wrapped filming for this location and everyone clapped. It was an amazing feeling and all of my new friends hugged. We could not believe that we saw Tom and Zendaya, that they acknowledged us, that they filmed a spideychelle scene and that it was only 12:30. SO MUCH HAD HAPPENED. Zendaya was standing there talking to Harry and we wanted to ask her for a picture but the crew moved us along. I am the queen of eavesdropping and heard a crew member say the intersection of the next location, so we headed there. We got there early and ended up getting some food, water, and charging our phones.

While we were looking for the location, we split up to see if the cast had arrived yet, and Miranda and I ended up running into Zach and Jacob. We had no idea what to do and did not want to bother them for a picture because we knew it was their day off. So I just said “hii!!” and Miranda said “Hi Jacob and Zach!” Jacob said “oh hi!” and seemed surprised that we had stopped them. They were super sweet and smiled at us. We ended up saying “Hi love you” and walking away. It was honestly super awkward. Jacob and Zach--we are so sorry. Less than 5 minutes later we walked right in front of where they were going to begin filming and I saw a tiny black dog crossing the street. I immediately knew it was Noon and then looked up to see Darnell walking him. LMK WHY I GOT SO EXCITED. I had never wanted to pet a dog so much in my life. I miss you already, king. I hope you are ok after your trip to the vet. (I say as if he will ever read this--wtf).

The afternoon location was pretty anticlimactic. They had blocked off both sides of the road and there was no upper vantage point, so we only saw them film a couple of shots. They also filmed with the crane and you guys probably saw Spider-man swing around a pole, surprise Michelle, then them jump up. They filmed this a bunch of different ways. It seemed that they couldn’t tell whether Spider-man should impress MJ by swinging up to her or simply walking up to her, so they filmed it both ways. The last shot was of Spider-man and MJ jumping up, and again MJ looks a little frightened. So during the last few takes, when Zendaya had a goofy look on her face and Tom jumped up with his legs in an awkward position, we figured they were out of character and just having fun. We started clapping and cheering for them and they did it again. We joked about them having done it just for us. After their last take, we cheered and they cheered too and danced. Then they wrapped, went inside the pharmacy (probably to get warm and see the shot on the monitor).

We walked around a little after this to see if they had moved back to their trailers, and ended up not seeing much, so we decided to split up and go home. As the two groups of us walked separate ways, something told me, Kacey, and Mir to stay. A second later we saw Tom take a picture with fans, literally SPRINT to his trailer, come out with a beanie on, and then leave with Harry. He waved at us and then got into his car. We didn’t chase after him for a picture because boundaries--and because he looked super tired. We stood on the corner for a second and at this point it was Troy, Maria, Bayley, Jessie, me, Karina, Kacey, and Mir. Since we were a large group we were anxious about not being able to meet either Tom or Zendaya. Crowds can be overwhelming so we tried to keep our distance. While walking back we saw Darnell putting Noon in the car, and Miranda greeted him. HE WAS SO NICE YOU GUYS. I want to create a stan account for him. I love him so much.

We stood outside because it was just us and another girl who had met Zendaya already because we figured at the very least, we would see her walk into her trailer. I turned around to watch the crew clean up and put equipment back in the trucks, and by the time I turned back around, Zendaya was standing right there. I probably looked really fucking dumb in this moment because the only thing I could do was smile. I think I said “Oh shit, hi!” and she said “Hi guys, how are you”. It was a little awkward. I don’t know why I expected her to be different, but she seemed smaller in a way. She was out of costume, wearing Storm’s shirt, and her hair was down. If she was wearing makeup, it was minimal. Her eyes were fucking gorgeous, and when she talked to us it felt like we were talking to a friend. She really makes an effort to make eye contact with each person and make sure they all get to say something. When she looked at me, I swear I saw God. She smiled and I think she glanced at my kizzmet necklace, but I was too shy to say anything and didn’t want to take away anyone else’s time with her, so I just kind of agreed with what everyone else was saying. (“of course!” when she thanked us for coming, laughing when she said she had seen us rocking with them all day, agreeing that we got up early to see them work, and confirming that we would probably see them later in the week.) She was so fucking sweet, and thanked us for being there, and said she wanted to come say hi to us all day. Then someone said “I like what you and Tom were doing with your legs at the end of that take, that was funny” or something like that, and she laughed and said, “Someone told us we should do something funny to say hi to you guys, so we asked to do another take.” Like- they really did that for us. I have to cry. I think I said “oh my god, we thought that might be for us, but we didn’t want to assume-” and she said “no yeah, it was!”. Finally we said that we loved her and that she was so beautiful and she said that we were all so beautiful. I must have missed that because my brain stopped functioning every time we made eye contact. I am such a fucking dork…. She took a picture with someone else then I asked Bayley to ask her to take a group photo, because she needed to get home. She said “of course!” and took it on Bayley’s phone. Then she thanked us again and told us to have a good night, so we walked away. We could not believe that had just happened…. And when her car left, we waved, and Tom’s car did too. We freaked out a little. I called my mom.

Then we ended up talking to a really lovely PA who was genuinely impressed that we knew what the project was and all of the locations. We told her about how we all met via Twitter, and she said that she admired our dedication. Mostly, we talked to her about how she got her job (in general, not for this film). Then we thanked her for being so lovely and said that she did a great job with crowd control (because she did, she always kindly asked us to move and was nice when we complied). We also joked around with her because throughout the day, people kept thinking she was Zendaya (lol), but she said that Z was really nice and was really happy that we got to meet her. She gave us her instagram, hugged us and mentioned that it would be a five day shoot. I should note that I said her name in my instagram live, but I honestly regret that now. She ended up making her account private and I felt awful because fans were invading her DM’s. I did not want to get her in trouble. She was so kind to us. Please, if you know who she is, and found her account, do not bother her.

Then we went home. Mir stayed with me that night because she lives far from the school set. I could not believe that I had met Zendaya and that I got to do it with people I met because of Zendaya. It truly felt like a dream, the whole day did. And I hope that everyone reading this gets to experience this as well. I only walked into this thinking that I would *possibly* see them film a scene, that I would *possibly* provide content for you guys. I never anticipated meeting her. I never anticipated the love she showed us all day. Tom either. I will go to bed with a smile on my face for the rest of my life, I think.

Saturday

We were not chosen as extras. So this ended up being a problem when we realized that the set location would be inside and closed. Miranda and Jessie had heard from our PA friend that you could see if they were giving out vouchers to be an extra, so they ended up going inside, kindly asking a bunch of PAs where to go, and then were yelled at by a crew member. Honestly, if there was a secret blacklist for the set, we were probably on it. When the casting notice was advertised by everyone and their mother, fans with no acting or background experience probably flooded their email server. To the poor interns who had to filter through those, I am so sorry. We saw Remy and Darnell in the morning, but did not want to say hi and bother them (this was a common theme this weekend).. The crew was so intimidating and we didn’t want to get in trouble. Plus it was freezing and raining, so we ended up going home. We did not intend to come back, but we kept reminding ourselves that Zendaya told us she expected to see us throughout the week. So like crackheads, we went back to set.

We met Zach who was super sweet, and saw Remy with the crew. I don’t know why but every single time we saw Remy, we were too shy to say hi. I wanted to tell him that I saw Crazy Rich Asians 6 times and that my mom’s cousin was also in the movie, or even just to congratulate him on the film’s success. RIP to that concept. BUT ZACH WAS SO NICE! We apologized for the awkward greeting the day before and he joked that he gets nervous in front of Jacob too. We congratulated him on being in the film and asked him what the experience had been like. He was so happy to talk about it and thanked us for coming and being so respectful. We got a picture with him, thanked him again, and then he asked if we were from NY and we said “we go to school here!” and he said “here?” (asking about the high school set), so we said no and clarified. Apparently he has friends at Mir’s university. We love that.

It was just a few of us waiting by Z’s trailer, until it wasn’t. And then these mom’s and their kids showed up, and autograph collectors too. When Zendaya left her trailer and walked to her car, people started running after her. We were so disappointed that people are so fucking selfish, and we just stood there, waving as her car left. We just wanted her to know that we were there for Day 2 and wanted to support her, but I want to note that we weren’t upset about not being able to take individual photos or anything like that.

Then we saw commotion outside of the wardrobe trailer and realized that Tom had come back to change out of costume. There were probably 20+ people in a group waiting. When he did come out, most people just took a picture with him and walked away, not really saying anything to him at all. He did get to meet real fans that were kind to him and spoke to him. They know who they are and they know that I personally do not think they specifically mobbed Tom. But it was a crowd full of people, and we felt bad, so we left.

Mir, Jessie and I ended up walking over to the PA we had met the day before, and she was with Zach. I said “I feel so bad, they just mobbed Tom” and the PA thanked me because she said the crowd never should have formed in the first place. The funny thing about this was that Remy, Jacob, Zach, and even Angourie were standing right there, and the locals who wanted a picture with Tom didn’t even notice. We said hi to Jacob as he walked by. Remy left. I did not get to see Angourie. Then we talked to Zach about crowds of fans and how for us, when we realized we would not be able to get to talk to Tom we walked away. For us it really wasn’t about getting the picture. I know that sounds like I am putting myself on some kind of moral pedestal, but I genuinely mean that. I only wanted them to know how much it meant to me to see them and how happy I was that they were all together again. Zach thanked us for being respectful, and we got to talk to him a little more about fans and Europe. He was so great, and said thank you, and left. We also saw Tony leave, and then so did we.

Sunday

Sunday there were two locations, so Jessie, Miranda and I went to the Manhattan one. We figured we would stop there in the morning and then the school in the afternoon. We decided to sit at tables near where they were filming, and a PA came up to us, and asked us to move because they were filming a movie. We apologized and feigned ignorance, and moved where they asked us too. Eventually they stopped letting people into that area, so if they got a wide shot, we may have been in it. The scene itself was just a bus turning the corner and pedestrians walking. It was very anticlimactic. On twitter, I talked a little bit about my struggle with anxiety. On Sunday, the lack of sleep, dehydration, and energy got to me. I could not eat or sleep because of how anxious I was becoming and I ended up going home home to see my family. Though I regret letting anxiety get in the way, it was nice to take a deep breath and step away from the craziness for a minute. I gave Miranda a letter that I wrote to Zendaya and asked her to hug her for me. She delivered it to Darnell who said he would give it to Z. Hopefully she reads it. It really just said thank you and that this weekend made me so happy. I talked about how through her I have made friends from all over the world, and then said that it meant everything to support her because of how much she has inspired and empowered me. I meant every word. I signed it from Miranda too. Later she called Miranda and Jessie, along with other fans, her friends. I could not have been happier for them <3

Monday

Monday I got to sleep in finally. I went to a meeting. I planned on going to class. Then Miranda texted and said her evening class was canceled. . . so we decided to skip our afternoon class and go to Newark airport. Someone really should have stopped us. We met up with two other fans but kept our distance because we did not want to appear as a group. We saw the whole cast (including king, Martin Starr) filming an arrival scene. I talked to an extra who actually works for United Airlines, and she was super sweet. She said that they had been filming a terminal scene practically all day. We could not see much of the scene because of all of the extras, but we do know Flash gets picked up by a fancy driver with “Thompson” written on an iPad. The scene itself was quite short, and honestly reminded of the scene in Homecoming when they get picked up after DC. We saw Tom for a few seconds as Peter, and then him and Zendaya dancing in between takes. Also, we may be in the background of that scene as well. Then, they wrapped. We had been there for the wrap at Penn Station and it was exciting, but something about this wrap was different. Everyone was hugging and cheering and we all clapped. I did not realize this until the next day, but that night, the supporting cast had wrapped on the movie. I feel genuinely grateful to have experienced that with them, even from afar. They did not stop for fans before leaving together, but we did not expect them too. Hopefully they celebrated afterwards!

Tuesday

Day 5/5. We knew this was the last day because our PA friend had told us, but when the supporting cast posted about wrapping, and then Tom did as well, it became real. Miranda, Jessie and I met up at 7:30am in Brooklyn and saw the crew setting up. At this point we knew that the crew knew who we were, but what would they have said to us? At times, they made comments such as “you guys are here again?” and we would just say “yup”. It was frustrating that some of the crew did not understand that we were not there to get autographs or pictures but rather to see the cast, say hello and thank you, and watch the production take place. We would have put our phones away if asked. There is a fine line between locals who want pictures with the cast for retweets, autograph collectors who are only interested in making money, fans who are there to get pictures and go home, and fans who were there to support the cast with or without getting a picture. Some people really did not know how to act, and the entitlement and disrespect jumped out multiple times. We tried to be patient and respectful, which I think the crew appreciated.

Our group missed Tom taking pictures with fans by literally seconds. I ended up going home for a 12:15 acting class and missed him filming the scene at Delmar’s deli. Jessie and Mir have tweets about it though, and I am sure you have seen the set photos. I came back around 4. I was so sad to have missed seeing Tom play Peter and shoving doritos down his throat, but I was so happy that Miranda, Liz, Maria, and Jessie got such great photos and videos.

I hope you guys don’t mind, but let me just talk about the group of friends I made this weekend for a second. Troy, Maria, Mir, Jessie, and Liz are practically my family now. Those who get noticed by tomdaya together, stay together. We always shared food, got each other hot chocolates from Dunkin (the amount of hot chocolates we consumed was disgusting… our blood stream was comprised of 33% hot chocolate.), cuddled, and laughed together. At nights we got cold and delirious and laughed at pretty much anything. We also got super emo, and at a ramen restaurant, we went around talking about how much this weekend has meant for us. It was super soft. For most of us, Zendaya, Marvel (and Spider-man specifically) has inspired us, saved us, and given us a reason to wake up in the morning. As dramatic and cliche as it may sound, coming to set even just to watch them film, and hear them shout “Rolling!” gave us something to look forward to. Even if we had bouts of anxiety or depression, we were all here for each other. We hugged and hugged, and headed to the night shoot for the final scenes. Crowds formed, but many were disappointed to learn that Tom was not there. The scene took place at what appeared to be a makeshift homeless shelter, and there were signs saying “The Salvation Army”. There was also a spider-man cutout outside of the shelter. The scene itself was supposed to be “a Sunday evening stroll” so extras simply walked by, the train went by, and two cars drove down the street. Over and over. I laughed because it reminded me of the fanfic Double Life, even though Tom and Z were not on set for this shot. Then it appeared they had wrapped, because the extras went back to holding. We decided to stay, even though fans left to see if Tom was at his trailer. He posted that he was on his way to shoot his last scene, so we stayed on our corner. At this point, it was probably less than 50 degrees (F) outside. We were cold, kind of delirious, but wanted to see them wrap and were hopeful that Tom would come say hi to us. He, Harry, and his PA’s arrived and went inside. The scene was shot on the roof of the building so we could not see exactly what happened. (Sorry!) Then we saw people on the roof hug, and knew they had wrapped. There were maybe 20 fans total there. Maybe. When Tom came out, he waved at us, walked into his car, then came out. We’re pretty sure he was about to come over and talk to us, but one “fan” ran over to his car and literally tried to push past a security guard. If we had a chance of him coming over, it was ruined. He got into the car, then stopped it right in front of us and rolled down the window to wave and say “hi” and “thank you.” We congratulated him on wrapping and then he drove away. He was wearing the varsity spider-man jacket that the cast and crew got today as a wrap present. After he left, our group took some pictures, congratulated crew members, and said goodbye. I miss all of them already! It was such an honor to be there not only to see them film, but to see them from the first take to the last in nyc, and to see them finish the project they have been working on all summer. I could tell they were all relieved to go home.

Thursday

After Tuesday night I tried (and failed) to get my life back together following the craziest 5 days of my life. On Thursday, I slept in late, attended a club meeting, ordered some food, and put laundry in the wash, when I got a text from Miranda that Tom would be on the Jimmy Kimmel show. At first I was super confused, I hadn’t read the text correctly, I didn’t understand that Jimmy was filming in Brooklyn for his show because I knew he generally filmed in Los Angeles, and I didn’t understand why Tom would be on the show. I told her and Jessie that I couldn’t go, because I had class at 4:35 and laundry in the dryer. Nevertheless, I went. I took my roommate with me, and saw a long line outside of the Brooklyn Academy of Music. I circled around to see any sign of Tom, and spotted his car near stage door. He was already inside. I weighed my options carefully. It was cold, I was busy, I had laundry in the dryer in a community building. I wanted to go home, but something in me told me I had to stay. My roommate left and wished me good luck, and I decided to text Maria, who I mentioned earlier in this post as part of the group of girls who visited set all 5 days. She was luckily already there. We decided to get on line for Jimmy Kimmel because I knew one of the workers, who used to work on a show I did background work and had attended audience tapings for several times. We talked and I asked if there was a stand by line, he said he would help but could only get us individual tickets. We took them anyway. At first I didn’t even know if Tom would be on the show, but luckily, he did a skit with Guillermo and the crowd went wild. New York truly loves Tom Holland’s Spider-man.

Typically you’re not allowed to leave if you’re filling an audience for a taping of a live show. Somehow we left after Tom’s skit, and didn’t have to explain ourselves to anyone. Thank you, Universe. We went back to where I saw Tom’s car and they were moving it to the Stage Door. There were less than 10 people standing behind a barricade, so we stood there too. The other people there were not there for Tom, and didn’t even know he was on the show. Less than 10 minutes later, Tom came out. He waved, and I said “Hi Tom, how are you?” And he said “good thanks,” and I said “can we please get a picture?” And he said “yeah sure, let me just put this in my car” so Maria and I waited. At that point, the others behind the barricade started asking for pics and autographs (lol) so we waited for them to go first even though both us, and Tom knew we had asked first. He came over and I greeted him again, saying “hi how are you thank you for doing this” and he said “good thanks, no problem, do you want me to take it?” And I said, “yes please!” And handed him my phone. He took the picture, said thank you and then greeted Maria. He had been smiling his typical dorky closed smile that we love so much, until Maria said it was amazing seeing him on set. He laughed into a smile and said, “you did? you guys were on set? That’s awesome” and took the picture, then handed back her phone. I felt like an idiot because I couldn’t stop talking. So I said “We went all 5 days to support you guys, it was so amazing to see you do what you love” and he looked me in the eyes, smiled and said “thank you so much, that’s amazing” and signed another couple of autographs. Then he said he had to go and walked back to his car so we said “thank you, have a good night!” And I said “congratulations on wrapping Spider-man Far From Home! Can’t wait to see it.” And he gave us a ✌🏽 sign. He was lovely. It was a brilliant way to wrap this week. I hugged and hugged Maria, went to Target and bought a pair of pants, then almost got run over for walking across the street with my head in the clouds. We love that.

Overview.

Earlier this year, my RA asked us to make a bucket list for the school year. I wanted to put “Meet Zendaya” on it, but chose not to because I thought it was an unrealistic goal. I did not walk into this weekend thinking that I would meet her and Tom, I did not walk into this weekend expecting to see them film a spideychelle scene. I did not expect to see and meet the majority of the cast. I never ever thought that I could meet so many mutuals and become so close to them within such a short period of time. I could not be more grateful for the past 6 days. It felt like a dream that is so hard to wake up from. I cannot wait to see the movie and cry as soon as I see the scenes that they filmed right in front of my eyes.

As for Tomdaya tea, I will say this. There are a lot of pictures of Zendaya smiling while filming the scene with Tom as Spider-man. I hope you all know that if she is smiling in the picture, that is ZENDAYA not MJ. MJ is frightened during the scene, then a little uncomfortable, then concerned. Her expressions during the scene were serious. But in between takes, her and Tom laughed, joked around, danced, made fun of us, waved to other fans, talked to Jon, Harry etc. It was very windy, so yes Tom helped fix her hair at points. It became a problem during the scene because her hair would cover her face. They would cut, laugh about it, and would go again. However, that video of them play fighting and running in place, then hugging, was just them tiring themselves out and picking up where they left off from the other scene. That does not take away from the fact that it was super cute. Zendaya looked so genuinely happy, and it made ME happy to see her so happy. I couldn’t see Tom’s face with the mask on, but I just know he had a dorky smile on his face the whole time. They both were so comfortable with each other. I cannot wait to see Michelle and Spider-man’s dynamic in the film. We really went from Peter Parker not saying a single line to MJ, (except as Spidey) to them being an iconic duo. We stan. And yes, I have theories about what will happen between them, but for now, i’ll leave it at this.  

Thank you all for congratulating us and being so sweet. It was an honor to provide you with content, and of course, DM me or send me CCs if you have questions. Hope you all have a great week, go see Spider-Man Far From Home in theatres July 5, 2019. <3

xo, Marisa

[uhh-the-green-thing]

“You just make things so hard sometimes.” | Becca x MC (Jey)

Hey, guys. This is the first fic I have ever written. Ever. In my entire life. It’s a bit lengthy too, so I’m sorry if it bores you or if it’s not up to your guys’ standards. Hope you guys like it though. AND PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK :( I wanna know how I can improve my writing. Thanks guys.

It had been so boring today. Classes were bleak, the professors just droning on and on about whatever uninteresting topic they were talking about. Having no one to rant to about this also wasn’t helping, and Becca somewhat found herself missing Madison’s company.

“I don’t need her,” she thought, furrowing her eyebrows.

She still felt bitter about everything that’s happened–the divorce and the outvoting–and thinking about those soured her mood even more.

She started walking down the quad with a huff, the light spring breeze blowing her hair gently across her face. She needed a distraction from all of this; she needed Jey.

Becca reached down and opened her bag, grabbing her phone to send a text to Jey. Busy? Where are you?

Her reply was quick. Just working on an article. I’m by my tree. Something wrong?

She found it cliche that Jey’s ideal working place in Hartfeld was under a tree in the more secluded area near the quad. The silence makes sense, but where would she charge her laptop?

I’m coming. She replied, disregarding the latter question.

As Becca made her way to the tree, she took out her compact and fixed herself a little. Gotta look good at least.

From a short distance, she could make out Jey’s relaxed frame, typing away on her laptop. A notepad and some sheets of paper lie by her side. She looked about, checking if there wasn’t anyone nearby that she knew. There wasn’t a lot of people around, but it wouldn’t hurt to be sure.

“Hey,” Becca greeted as she walked over to her.

Jey looked up from her laptop and smiled as she saw Becca. “Oh, hey.”

Oh, dear god that smile. Becca would never admit how she loved seeing it. She was slightly flustered by Jey’s subtle scrutiny, loving the way how her brown gaze felt just as kind as normal but held a degree of intensity to it–a look mostly reserved for people Jey deeply cared about–and she almost forgot how her throat worked. Yep, she felt better already. “Classes done?”

“Y-yeah,” Becca stuttered. She sighed, sitting down next to her.

“I’m guessing they went well?” Jey teased, seeing the woman’s lack of enthusiasm. She put her laptop aside and turned to Becca, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek softly. Becca rolled her eyes.

“Ugh, hardly,” she grumbled as she laid her head on the brunette’s shoulder, Jey wrapping an arm around her waist. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“So what happened?” Jey asked.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing, huh? You wouldn’t be acting like this if ‘nothing’ happened.” She cast a side-eye.

“No, that’s just it. My classes bored me to death and there’s literally nothing to do.”

“Well, you could always do me…” Jey trails off. Becca raised her head from Jey’s shoulder and gave her an unamused look, chuckling slightly when Jey gave her a sly wink.

“Shut up,” Becca said, looking down as her smile faded. “And all this divorce and sorority crap isn’t doing me any good either.”

“Oh…” Jey frowned. “Have you talked to Madison yet?”

“Of course not, why would I?” She scoffed, shaking her head. Jey moved her other arm and took Becca’s hand in hers, running her thumbs in slow, comforting strokes. She felt Becca relax a little against her.

“Becca, she really wants to patch things up with you. Just hear her out, I’m sure that she’s having a hard time with this too. She is your best friend, right?”

“Oh please. She stole my position. She’s probably having a grand time now that she’s queen bee,” she said, rolling her eyes.

Jey sighed and looked at Becca, thoughtful. “I highly doubt that, Becca. She’s a really sweet girl, and it’s not like she asked for the girls to vote for her. That’s just very un-Madison.” Jey reasons. “And remember how you told me that you only got one vote? Did–”

“Wow,” Becca interrupted, her face forming her trademark scowl. “Thanks for reminding me.”

“I’m just saying,” Jey said emphatically, “Did you ever stop to think that that vote could come from Madison?”

Becca’s scowl softened. Huh. Madison would do that. She knew the endearing dummy too well, but was far too proud and stubborn to admit that maybe Madison did vote for her. The thought did little to quell her annoyance though.

“I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.” Becca finally said, suddenly cold and withdrawn. She looked down and started plucking at a patch of grass by her side. Jey breathed a sigh resignation, clearly disappointed, but knew better than to push. “Okay.”

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Jey holding Becca in her arms, hoping the silence and her touch may calm Becca. Jey held her closer and nuzzled against her neck, relieved when there weren’t any signs of protest from her.

Birds’ chirping could be heard in the distance along with the low murmur from a few people occasionally passing by. Leaves rustled as the wind blew, and Jey closed her eyes, reveling in the quiet and Becca’s warmth. Maybe I should bring Becca here with me more oft–

“I’m sorry I’m like this.” Becca spoke, her voice interrupting Jey’s thoughts. “I don’t get how you put up with me, why you put up with me” she continued, her somber tone worrying Jey. She removed her hand from Jey’s grasp and looked down, staring at that same patch of grass she was plucking earlier.

“Becca…” Jey turned her body towards Becca, her heart breaking as she assessed the woman beside her, studying the woeful expression on her face.

“Every time you see me, I’m either mad or sad. I’ve been so horrible to you, Jey,” Becca looks at her. “Since day one. I spilled coffee on you, I humiliated you in front of the whole sorority, I fucking pushed you into a pool, I’ve been a bitch to you everytime we saw each other, I–”

Becca broke. The shame of her actions overwhelmed her; the force of it almost physical, so much that she glanced away from Jey and stared at the ground. One day, Jey would forgive her, because it was in her nature to forgive. And maybe she already has. She was a compassionate woman, who for whatever reason, cared about Becca and was willing to give her a second chance. But could Becca ever forgive herself?

She doubted it.

Hot pinpricks lit behind her eyes. Becca closed them and tried hard to blink back the threat of tears. She hated showing any kind of vulnerability to anyone, but her strength was wavering.

“Hey, look at me.” Jey said softly, grasping Becca’s chin and gently raised it. Becca lifted her eyes, reluctantly meeting Jey’s gaze.

But then Jey kept staring at her, kind brown eyes searching and forgiving, so lovely and soft and full of caring, and that traitorous warmth in her chest started to seep through the cracks, and it was all so unfair.

“I care about you, Becca. I care about you a lot more than I let you on to know,” Jey said, wondering if her admission gave too much away. She raised her hand and cupped Becca’s cheek, running her thumb across her skin lightly. “I didn’t know those things still bothered you until now. I thought we’ve gone through this before…” Sure, they’ve mentioned it briefly before, but Jey never knew that Becca was still holding this close to her chest.

“I’m sorry, Jey. I’m so, so sorry.” Becca wasn’t the type of person to say those words so easily. You usually have to fight with her just to get her to apologize, and even if she knows she’s clearly in the wrong, she’d still be unwilling to say those damned words, stubborn and unrelenting. But dear god, why was she so willing to let her walls down when it comes to Jey? Why did she keep on showing vulnerability around her? Becca couldn’t understand. “I… I don’t deserve you,” she weakly whispered, knowing well that Jey had already put this issue past them.

Jey watched Becca struggle with her feelings, her heart aching at the sight before her. She’d never imagined Becca, the mean, abrasive Becca, to show this magnitude of emotions to her.

“Maybe you don’t…” Jey replied slowly, making Becca look up at her. “But even so, do you think that would change the way I treat you or how I feel about you?” She paused. “Even if you don’t believe it, you deserve to be happy, Becca. And I’ll do anything to make that happen.” Her eyes were full of sincerity and something more, Becca couldn’t put her finger on it. It was too soon to tell but, was it… love?

“Come here.” Jey cupped Becca’s face with her hands and leaned forward to kiss her. The sudden pressure of Jey’s lips on Becca’s was dizzying, and it was only because Jey’s hands held her steady that she didn’t break contact. Her lips were warm, placing soft and gentle kisses that seemed to devour every scrap intelligence from Becca’s mind, constant and reassuring.

Jey pulled back after a long moment, breathless. She tangled her fingers in Becca’s blonde tresses, leaning forward to rest their heads together. Becca’s eyes were still closed, and a great deal of color returned to her cheeks.

“Jey…” Becca started, opening her eyes. “You… Christ, you. I…” she pulled back a little and swallowed a lump in her throat, looking straight into Jey’s eyes, unbelieving yet grateful. She didn’t see the point in arguing with Jey anymore. She was so emotionally drained.

“I meant what I said before, Becca,” Jey said, her voice slightly hoarse with emotion. “That I cared about you… You’re just. Ugh. You just make things so hard sometimes.” Jey laughed lightly, stroking Becca’s cheek affectionately.

Becca snorted softly, pressing an exhausted kiss against Jey’s cheeks as her fingers combed through Jey’s hair. She couldn’t believe how this girl could stand her, she’d just taken them both on a roller coaster of emotions after all.

There was a long silence, both giving each other meaningful looks full of raw emotion. Becca buried her face against Jey’s neck, loving the way Jey’s arms wrapped around her in a sweet, comforting embrace.  

 A sudden beep cut through the silence.

“Crap,” Jey said quietly, looking over towards the source of the sound. She frowned.

“What?”

“My laptop died.”

Forgive me if you guys found this piece unamusing, too lengthy, or whatever. Like I said, I’ve never written ANYTHING of this kind in my entire life, so please bear with me if you found a lot of errors and flaws. I tried my best though.

[renaroo]

The Search (13/16)

Disclaimer: Red vs Blue and related characters are the property of Rooster Teeth. Warnings: Language, Canon-typical violence, Psychological manipulation and trauma Rating: T Synopsis: [Canon Divergence - Alternate S15] The Reds and Blues saved Chorus, but it has been a year and they are still missing. A motley crew has been gathered with the common goal of finding the war heroes, though the road is more troubled than anyone seems to realize.

A/N: I’m sorry for the late but we’re so close, guys! Just a few chapters left and this one... well I’d say you guys are finally going to get some satisfaction but I think you’ll find it comes at a cost ; ) 

Special thanks to @secretlystephaniebrown, @analiarvb, MKDemigodZ-Warrior, DisneyFreak-Lover, zowiaki, and Yin for the comments and feedback!

The Final Countdown

Her head was splitting, but as disoriented as she was, the only real question to ask was pounding into her head. As much as she hated to have to ask it at all.

Did she really let some two-bit mercenary take her by surprise again? Did she really not see the fact that he would have enhancements as much as she did surprise her?

They might have been the type of questions that, ordinarily, would keep Carolina up at night, but in that moment they were the far of queries of a mind that really had another agenda entirely. Figuring out what the hell Kaikaina was screaming about so loudly that it was rousing Carolina from unconsciousness by sheer volume alone.

“They can’t kill us! Killing us would be the lamest thing they ever did! Do you know what kind of lame things are on their records of lame? It shouldn’t be possible for them to be more lame! This is fucking stupid! Dexter Grif, if you try to kill anybody over here I’ll personally kick your ass! If you kill me I’m going to kick your ass and punch you! Twice!”

“Private Grif, please calm down, you may trigger something,” Doctor Grey’s more soothing tone said, closer to Carolina than Kaikaina’s.

It was enough to fully bring Carolina into the moment as she opened her eyes. She was being held up, or at least her head was, in someone’s lap. There were cracks in her helmet, her HUD broken for certain, which meant that she was only seeing what her eyes could. There was no feedlot from her suit, all instinct driven.

Doctor Grey was not looking down to her but instead toward the rest of the circled up group, all of which were standing behind Washington. With his arms and legs out, Wash seemed to be trying as desperately as he could to spread himself out as a wall covering all of them. But most concerning of all was that his battle rifle was holstered against his back. He had no weapons drawn whatsoever. Which, by Carolina’s estimates, usually did not spell out well for them.

“They haven’t shot us yet,” Dylan Andrews said in a flat tone, still looking around and assessing the situation herself. “Despite the order. There may be some semblance of control for them still. They might be preventing themselves from attacking.” She then turned her head suspiciously toward Li’l Grif. “Assuming that no one else triggers some sort of response from them.”

“I don’t trigger people, I’m a fucking social justice queen, bitches!” Kai snapped back.

“Kaikaina, not now!” Washington hissed.

“Yes, now, officer! My brother has a gun trained on you! and Junior’s kidnapped by his dad. Do you know how fucking weird that sounds? But it’s what’s happening, because everything that happens to us is effing weird,” Kai continued loudly. “I shit you not, one time I got naked for Doc. That’s how weird things are. Doc saw my vagina, and he’s like the fourth last person I’d want in this room right now to see the twat!”

At first Wash seemed to have finally learned to let Kaikaina’s crudeness go by unhindered, but then he tilted his head over his shoulder just enough to look her way. “Who are the three before him?”

“Are you actually asking that question right now?” Andrews demanded.

“Completely out of line, Agent Washington!” Grey squeaked out.

“Agreed,” Carolina said groggily, finally pulling herself up into a sitting position out of Grey’s lap.

“Carolina! Are you alright?” Wash asked, still not moving.

“I got my ass kicked by a complete prick. No, Wash, I’m not okay, I’m fucking pissed!” Carolina seethed.

“Awesome! Well, we’re all about to die right now so you’re in, like, super great company. Just saying,” Kai announced, hands on her hips.

“”You never answered my question,” Wash pointed out to Kai.

“You’re such a closet pervert, it’s kinda hot. For a cop,” she answered, head tilted in amusement. “It’s Sarge, Caboose, and Grif, by the way. So watch out. The crotch is still an option for you.”

“I was hoping I was on the list, not—“ Washington began to argue before freezing up at the sound of crunching boots. He turned just as Carolina and Grey got to their feet in unison, shocked as Sarge, Caboose, and Grif stepped forward, weapons high. “Damn it, Kaikaina!”

“Dude, what the fuck, you asked me the question!” she cried out.

Barely able to breathe, Carolina searched her mind for any way out of the situation at hand and she focused on Wash’s holstered weapon once again. “Wash! Take out your gun and shoot them in the legs so they are out of commission!” she ordered.

“No!” Wash angrily snapped back. “I’m not fighting my family, are you mental? We did not come all this way for me to take a close range shot at them, possibly shatter bone or tear open an artery — just no, Carolina! I won’t do it. Not even for myself. Not anymore!”

“You overdramatic fuck, we could just take them out so they don’t kill us and stay zombies forever!” Carolina yelled in return. “Are you literally trying to tell me it’s not worth that risk at the very least?”

Before they could continue to argue, however, Carolina gaped as she saw that Caboose’s finger was on the trigger. And that was not Freckles. And it was definitely aimed directly at Washington’s head.

Without HUD guidance, all but going in blind, her body still rigid and sore from her unconsciousness, Carolina leaped between her first step and her second to go into super speed. She could feel her armor reacting, but the speedometer, the braking controls, everything she relied on for safety were gone. Only her instincts driving her with a HUD and without an Epsilon.

But instincts, apparently, were exactly what she needed because only a few steps into the run, she was already tackling Caboose to the ground and sending his gun shooting toward the ceiling.

The rest of their group began screaming in surprise but Carolina’s full attention was on wrestling the behemoth that Caboose was away from his gun.

There was a near serene sound next of what seemed like clattering glass. But as Carolina looked up she saw that it was not glass but the icicles that formed in the doorways where the remaining Reds were all standing still without orders. They were going to fall right onto them.

“Simmons! Donut! Doc! Step forward!” Washington yelled out with quick thinking.

Just in the nick of time, Donut and Simmons stepped forward before the large icicles came crashing down where they had been. Doc stood in place until the icicles hit him mainly in the helmet. He let out a cry and collapsed to the floor, helmet falling off after being severely broken.

Everyone flinched for him.

“Sorry, I didn’t know his last name,” Wash muttered in partial embarrassment.

Kaikaina, again who had known him the longest, only tilted her head in confusion. “Doc’s name isn’t Doc? What the eff.”

“Ow… what happened?” Doc groaned from the floor, reaching up and grabbing his head. “Ugh. I need some adderall so I don’t freak out again like I did in the operating room. Boy was that a difficult movie to watch in one sitting.”

“Wait what,” Dylan Andrews said, having proven the true danger of staying around their group too long. “He’s speaking like he’s his own person again. The helmets are somehow responsible for the control—“

“HYAAHHHH!” Doctor Grey screamed, just before there was a loud THUNK and Carolina jus saw Sarge’s bright red helmet flying across the floor just in front of her.

Carolina looked back and saw that Doctor Grey had managed to roundhouse kick Sarge’s helmet off of his head, making the old colonel sway in place, holding onto his forehead. “What in sam hill…” he muttered, not realizing he was standing right over Carolina with a shotgun aimed at her head.

“One of your doctorates was in mixed martial arts?” Dylan asked, impressed.

“Oh, silly, no. I just have a black belt like every other multitasking super genius,” Grey assured her.

Without wasting another moment, Carolina turned back to Caboose and grabbed onto his helmet, viciously ripping it off his head to free him from its control.

The big Blue just blinked a few times before squinting at Carolina. “Agent Caro-lady? You came to prison for us?” he asked tiredly.

“Caboose, I’d come to hell for you,” she breathed a sigh of relief.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want you to do that,” Caboose responded, still sounding exhausted. “Church used to say we should go there, but if you went there you wouldn’t find us there yet. So I’m glad you found us here. Wherever this… cold dark… scary wet cold dark place is. It definitely helped you find us faster than going to Hell.”

Carolina looked at Caboose in simple amazement for a moment before her shoulders began to shudder and her eyes blurred. She couldn’t help herself, she began to laugh, a real, genuine laugh, and possibly the first one she had had since the Reds and Blues had disappeared. At least, there had not been one with so much warmth and relief in her chest as she gave it. Even as the sobs came through.

She could see in her periphery as Kai ripped off Grif’s helmet and immediately pulled him into a confused hug and as Wash took the duty of removing both Donut and Simmons’ helmets.

They were all being released. They were all being brought back to them piece by piece.

“What’s going on here? Why is my sister on one of our stupid fucking adventures?” Grif shouted out, even as he hugged his sister back.

“It’s an incredibly long story and it’s not over yet,” Wash informed them all.

“Yeah, fortunately we’e got some kinda storyteller with us, right, Dylan?” Kai shouted only to turn and see what Carolina and the rest of them were only beginning to realize at the same time. “Dylan? Miss Andrews? Where’d she go?”

“To do something we’d do,” Carolina said out loud, eyes widening in concern. “Something very stupid.”

Journalistic integrity and ethics were something of the defining features in Dylan Andrews’ life. They were what made her literal bread and butter. They were what got her involved with the unraveling story of Project Freelancer and ominous Reds and Blues. It was also how Carolina and Washington came across her.

And part of being an investigative journalist happened to be objectivity. Happened to be the ability to stand down, to step back, and accept that inserting herself into the narrative was dangerous to the vitality of the report.

Dylan Andrews lived and breathed being a journalist, but in the moment, as she raced through the chilled halls of an alien temple on a planet she probably wouldn’t have been able to pronounce, she was a part of the story. She was involved. She was subjective. She was—

She was likely to be doing something very stupid, but it was most likely the the right thing to do.

Which made it all the more shocking and breathtaking when she at last reached the end of the hall and heard for herself the instruction of Malcolm Hargrove ordering the death of a child.

“No,” Andrews gasped, trying to run faster.

Only steps away from the room, Dylan had to slide into a halt, scrambling into the shadows as she saw that Siris, the man in black from before, was standing at the entrance with his gun in tow. Dylan was more than ready to tackle him, maybe wrestle his gun free from him, when he surprised her by stepping forward.

Lavernius Tucker stood with his gun coldly trained on the shuddering Junior.

“Hold it,” Siris barked at Tucker. He then looked toward Hargrove. “This is not the right move.”

“Siri, I have no idea why, compared to your colleagues, you have such a difficult time comprehending this simple fact, but I will remind you that you are not hired for your morality, you are hired for your lack of it!” Hargrove snapped angrily. “I have no need of a useless loose string, and so long as this creature is alive and refusing to cooperate then that is precisely what it is.”

“You don’t know that there’s no use for the kid yet, you just know that he’s acting like a scared kid. And even if he doesn’t turn on the towers, he still holds value to the UNSC,” Siris said plainly. “My colleagues suggested me for your employ. That doesn’t mean I take my day job any less seriously. Especially when you’re willing to do something stupid enough to restart a war and get the whole human race killed. What good is that to me? I get paid more than I’ll ever need so I can Scrooge McDuck it and die on mountain of money I’m diving into? That doesn’t sound like a deal to me.”

“Mercenaries and your paydays,” Hargrove snarled. “Very well, then. I hear your point.” The businessman turned to face a large alien construct then glanced over his shoulder toward Tucker. “Shoot him.”

Before the mercenary was able to react, there were three ringing shots and the man was sent falling backward in a grunt of pain, hitting the floor just in front Dylan. She looked at him wide eyed as he clutched at the holes in his armor beginning to bubble up crimson blood. “Fuck you, Har…” he looked at Dylan for a moment, breathing heavily. “What the…”

Not sure what else to do, Dylan tried to hold a finger up to her helmet to silence the shot man.

Hargrove, though, wasn’t done yet. “Now, Mister Tucker, I do believe you’re free to shoot your abomination.”

Realizing that staying in the observer’s seat wasn’t going to help any longer, if it ever had, Dylan lunged into the room to get between Tucker and his son. Junior let out a shocked honk before clicking his jowls together in a way that Dylan was sure the rest of their shipmates would pretend was meaningful. But for the moment her heart was pounding too hard and she was shaking in her knees. Still, she stood firm.

“Tucker, you can’t do this,” she said seriously. “You don’t know who I am, and I’m sure there’s a lot of confusion because you’re being mind controlled by a chip in your brain that’s being controlled by something weird they did to your helmet and I can’t even begin to pretend I understand the logic behind any of it. But the one thing that I do know, from all my work and all my research is that you are one thing for certain in every story, in every record, in absolutely everything I can find.”

Hargrove looked somewhere between angry and baffled. “Who the devil is this?”

Dylan ignored him, seeing that Tucker’s full attention was on her instead. “You’re a pervert, Lavernius Tucker. Ini absolutely everything I have learned about you, and judging by the very little I understand of your son’s language, you definitely are sex obsessed. Ad it’s a little bit sad. But it’s offset by all the other records that say you’re a good father. The… kind of father that would not be able to resist a chance to use a catchphrase. Which is why I knew if I came all this way, if I could get to you before you were forced to do something terrible and wrong and against your character, I could maybe have a chance to tell you something you needed to hear. That even though we have been searching on a very dangerous journey and I probably will have to file for unemployment when I get back to my life…” she took a deep, heralding breath, holding on the pause enough that even Junior was leaning in some out of curiosity.

Exhaling sharply, Dylan tilted her had back up to look Tucker in the face. “I’m glad I came.”

Tucker’s body flinched awkwardly, his head tilting as a snort came through the filters of his helmet. “Bow…Bow Chicka Bow Wow!”

His finger laid off the trigger and his shoulders rolled back into a more comfortable, natural position as he swayed on his feet, a little dazed. “What… How… Who—“

“Oh for the love of god, if you want something done!” Hargrove snarled, grabbing the gun from Tucker’s unguarded hands and immediately firing at Dylan.

She stood in shock for a moment before feeling an unnatural warmth pooling out at her side. She reached for her waist, looking down to see for herself that blood was beginning to seep through her kevlar mesh, torn through much easier than the hard, battle ready armor the mercenary had been wearing. Then she fell to her knees, feeling shaky and cold.

Junior let out a cry, grabbing Dylan’s shoulder and arm as she began to slump.

“You shot at my kid you son of a bitch!” Tucker roared just before there was a distinct, whisking sound of energy. It was odd enough to draw Dylan’s fuzzing attention toward it and she saw Tucker brandish the plasma sword she’d written about before in her articles.

“No! You idiot, don’t!” Siris roared from the hall.

But it was too late, Tucker stabbed his sword directly through the unsuspecting Hargrove, impaling him against the alien artifact behind him.

Then, just as surely as the life was draining from both Dylan and her shooter, the room began to rumble as a foreign, unnatural glow began to leak out through the inscribed words and lines of the artifact and into the room as a whole.

“It’s done,” Hargrove gasped with his last breaths. “You’ve…unlocked it…”

The man left Tucker standing in a room of injured, dead, and dying, and Dylan with so many questions — the kinds a journalist who hadn’t gotten too involved in her own story would have had time to ask.

[lorilane33]

Let Me Help Pt 8 (Final Part)

Summary: Dean and the reader have a conversation about where to go from that point. 

Pairing: Dean x Reader Word count: 2,143

Warnings: ALL the fluffies. 

A/N: You guys. I’m so sad that this is the last part!! I’ve had such a blast writing this series. I want to thank @dustycelt for being my co-author on this series. Sh had the original idea for it, and we hashed out literally almost every detail needed. My notes on this could have probably been a fic in themselves. She also encouraged me to tackle it when I hadn’t touched the doc in weeks after our hash session. I never thought in a million years that it would have turned into an 8 part series. So. Here it is. The last part. Part 8. Enjoy my lovelies!! 

FEEDBACK IS ENJOYED AND APPRECIATED!!

Missed out? Here’s Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Parts 6/7

Here’s my entire masterlist for your enjoyment

(gif not mine)

Smirking, Dean rolls his eyes. “Yeah, we’re good Sam. I’m not mad anymore. Just.. don’t lie to me again, got it? And yes,” Dean walks to you and snakes his fingers through yours, “we did work things out. Sort of. We’ve still got a lot to talk about, but we are now on the same page at least.”

“Well, in that case, I’m going to head back to the motel and give you guys some more time to talk. Sound good?”

You glance at Dean, and then back to Sam. “Yeah, that would be awesome, Sam. Thanks.” Smiling you walk over to him and give him a hug, swatting his arm as he turns to leave. “And don’t worry, I’ll let the tool know how shitty of a job I think he did with my office the next time I see him.”

You hear Sam laugh as he exits your office, and you turn back to Dean. Suddenly nervous you use your shoe to move a book that fell to the floor. “So… where does that leave us?”

Glancing up, you stare into his beautiful green eyes and your heart starts racing.

Dean reaches his free hand up to gently caress your cheek and you find yourself smiling and nuzzling into the contact. You don’t answer him right away, hoping to pull your thoughts together. “Hey, you with the gorgeous smile, you with me? Where’s your pretty little head at, hmm?”

His compliments make you blush. Finally, you feel like you’ve got a good enough hold on your thoughts and emotions to answer him. “Yeah, I’m here Dean. Just thinking about everything that’s happened over the last four years, and how on earth you could still want me after how awful I treated you.”

 Dean’s brow furrows in concentration while trying to understand what you’re saying. “You feel bad? Y/n, if anyone should feel bad it should be me. I’m the one who couldn’t control my anger, or my hurt over our dads dying and by not coping with that I pushed you away. You had every right to walk away from me. I was a stupid asshat who didn’t see the good thing he had right in front of him until it was gone. So, I’m gonna ask you. Will you forgive me?”

 Looking up into his green eyes you chuckle. “Dean, like I’ve told you a million times. I forgave you the day I walked out. I’ve loved you for so long and I don’t even think I know how to be angry with you.” You reach your free hand up to gently take hold of his wrist, turning your face so you could place a kiss to the palm of his hand.

“Okay, so where does that leave us? I know that you’re working here in Lawrence, but I would really like to give us a shot, y/n. I’m not going to let you walk away from me again.” He lets your intertwined fingers go and brings his hand up to your other cheek to cradle your face in his palms. “I love you and I want to be with you, y/n. If that’s what you want then we’ll figure everything else out later. But right now, I wanna know. No, I need to know. Do you want to be with me?”

You slowly place both of your hands on his chest, sliding them up in between his arms and reaching them around his neck. Letting your fingers card through the hair at the back of his neck you pull him down to meet you in a slow and loving kiss, the two of you content to just pressing your lips together. After a few seconds you pull away, smiling as you press your forehead to his.

“Dean, I would love nothing more than to be with you. I love you too.”

He smiles as he pulls you into a more passionate kiss, taking his hands from your face to wrap around your waist to pull you closer to him. “Oh thank god, y/n,” he presses another kiss to your lips. “I love you so much. I’m done being stupid when it comes to you.”

“I’d hope so, Winchester. We’ve got years of stupid to make up for.” You smile cheekily at him and bury your face in his neck as he picks you up and spins you.

One Year Later

You’re at your desk in your new office, in Lebanon, penciling in an appointment when you hear the unmistakable sound of your fiancé walking through your door.

“Hey babe, just thought that you could use some lunch.” Dean walks up behind you and places a kiss on the top of your head as you sit at your desk. “I got our usual from the diner down the street. How about you take a break and join me?”

The smell of diner food has your stomach grumbling, announcing to Dean just how hungry you are. Both of you start laughing. “Well that’s probably an amazing idea considering my tummy just threatened your life if you keep those fries from me any longer.” You leave your appointment book at your desk and walk over to the chairs where Dean has lunch spread out already.

You grab your burger and fries and instantly start shoveling the fries into your mouth. Dean raises his eyebrows in response, impressed at your appetite as of late. “Well alrighty then! I’ll just be sure to eat over here so you don’t accidentally mistake one of my fingers as a fry.” He says while making a show of moving him and his food down to the other end of the couch.

“Heyyyyy!” you playfully pout, “why are you so far away now? I’m not going to be able to steal your fries if you’re allllll the way over there.” You cross your arms and play like you’re about to cry.

“Awww, come on y/n! Don’t do the fake pouting thing. I always know you’re faking but it still kills me!” You jut out your bottom lip to add to the effect. “The pouting lip?! Ugh. Fine, fine. I’ll move back over. But only because I’ve missed my beautiful fiancée today. You’re lucky I love you, I swear.” He chuckles as he places his food back next to yours.

A smile breaks out over your face as you eat the fries in contentment. “Well I love you too, sweetheart. Thanks for the fries, by the way. I’ve been craving them since yesterday.”

The two of you enjoy the fries for a minute, and then you hear Dean make a move to speak. “You know, y/n, I gotta say. You done good. You moved here to Lebanon to be closer to me and Sam, opened your own practice, and it’s becoming a successful business.”

He gazes at you with a look of pure adoration, and in that moment you know you’ve made the right decision in marrying this man. Putting his fries down he reaches for your hand and clasps it gently in his. “And must say that this office isn’t a dump like that last place,” the two of you chuckle at the memory of your office the day you two got together, “and I can actually walk into this place and have a nice conversation with your receptionist. She’s not a bitch like the last one.”

You bust out laughing at Dean’s jab at your old receptionist, Abby. He continues. “You’ve done good work, y/n, and I honestly couldn’t be prouder. I love you.” Leaning towards you, he places a kiss to your forehead. The two of you pull away from each other to look into each other’s eyes. Feeling playful, you lean into him again and place a kiss on the tip of his nose. “Oh yeah? Well I guess I kinda love you, too.”

Glancing down at the fries still uneaten, you break the moment. “Okay Dean, I’m all for mushy moments, but I’m still hungry and there are still fries left to eat. Sorry, babe.” you scrunch your nose in your dorky smile at him.

You grab a fry off the table and hold it to Dean’s mouth, waiting for him to eat it. He playfully eats the fry and then tries to nibble at your thumb causing you to blush and squeal. The two of you slowly move your focus back to eating your fries for a bit, saving the best part of your meals for last. Suddenly you perk up, an idea forming in your head.

“Hey babe, you said you got our usual from the diner right?”

Scrunching his eyebrows in confusion he replies. “Yeah, you have your cheeseburger and I have my two cheeseburgers, and we both have an order of fries. Why? Did they make a mistake?”

You smile mischievously. “No, not at all. I was just curious.”

Picking up the last of your fries you ungracefully shove them in your mouth. Then, without warning you reach over and grab Dean’s second cheeseburger that he has yet to touch and start unwrapping it.

“Heyyy! What the hell do you think you’re doing, y/n?” Dean’s look of bewilderment causes you to start laughing.

“What does it look like I’m doing, weirdo?” You’re still laughing and Dean is now mock offended.

Trying to reach past you to grab the burger back, Dean responds. “Well, weirdo, it looks like you’re trying to steal my burger! Which is stupid because you’ve got your own damn burger!”

“I know that I’ve got my own burger, Dean. I’m not dumb. I’m just hungry.” You smile wide at him, letting him know that you don’t plan on relinquishing his burger to him.

“But you always get the one burger! I always have two…” Dean starts to pout, almost successfully looking sad about losing a burger. “Why the hell do you need a second burger anyway?”

Your eyes light up when he asks you this question and if it is possible you smile even wider. “Well Dean, if you must know, I need your second burgers from here on out because this mommy needs the extra food.”

Dean’s brow furrows in confusion and you sit there smiling, waiting for him to catch up. He looks at you and tilts his head a little in question. “Mommy? What the he- wait a second.”

His eyes light up as he realizes what you’re saying. “You’re eating for two? You’re pregnant!?”

The two of you jump out of your seats and he throws his arms around your waist crushing you to his chest while your arms go around his neck. He picks you up and spins you around in circles, laughing.

“You’re gonna have a baby, y/n! This is amazing!”

Pulling yourself away from Dean just far enough to look into his eyes you bring one of your hands from around his neck to cradle his cheek. “No, Dean. I’m not going to have a baby.”

Dean goes from ecstatic to heartbroken in two seconds flat. “What?? But, you said-”

Quickly cutting him off with a kiss, you pull back again. “You said I was having a baby. You’re wrong. I’m not having a baby. WE are having a baby, Dean. You and I, together.” You tear up as you kiss him again and finish. “I’m going to have your baby.”

Once again his face lights up when he figures out what you’re saying. He reaches up to wipe a stray tear from your cheek. “I’m gonna be a dad?? You’re having my baby… holy shit.” He starts to cry as well, the two of you laughing through the tears as he kisses you again. “I’m gonna be a dad.”

“Yeah, babe, you’re gonna be a dad.” You say to him as you cup his cheeks in your hands and look him in the eye. “We’re gonna be parents.”

He smiles as he pulls out of your embrace and sits down on the couch right in front of you, bringing him face to face with your tummy. Placing his hands on your still flat tummy he lightly rubs his thumbs across your shirt. Leaning forward he places a kiss in between his hands. You reach up a hand to card through his hair.

“Hey baby, it’s your daddy. Just wanted to let you know that even though you’re still in your mommy’s tummy you are so, so loved. I love you, and I know your mommy loves you too. And I know your Uncle Sammy is gonna love you too. You’re going to be an awesome Winchester. These next few months are going to take forever, but I already can’t wait to meet you.”

Whispering a couple more things to your tummy that you don’t quite catch, Dean finishes up. He places another kiss to your tummy and then looks up at you. Tears are freely streaming down your face as you card your fingers through his hair. He stands up, reaches his hands up to caress your cheeks and wipe away your tears. Your arms wrap around his torso as he pulls you in for a kiss that is so full of emotion and love, and Dean holds you to him as if he is at risk of losing you.

He pulls away, places a kiss to your forehead and then the tip of your nose as well and then nuzzles his nose to yours and looks into your eyes as your foreheads lean against each other. “Y/n, you have no idea how happy you’ve made me. I will never be able to tell you how much I love you.”

Smiling back at him you whisper back. “I love you too, Dean. Like I’ve said. I’ve always loved you, and I always will. Nothing will ever change that. I’m just so glad that I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”

He lightly squeezes you in his arms. “It’s gonna be me, my love, and our baby forever.”

Fin.

Tags:  @bringmesomepie56 @aorma22 @torrentmgc @savetheimpalaridedean @vaisabu @madithemagicalfangirl @dancingalone21 @anokhi07 @green-love-red-fantasyhearts@smoothdogsgirl @superromijn @my-own-paradise-fuckers @wevegotworktodo@inmysparetime0 @i-dont-know-how-to-write @rattyretro-blog-blog @arryn-nyxx @sis-tafics@jalove-wecallhimdean @dustycelt @supernatural-jackles​ @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog​​ @27bmm​ @pinknerdpanda @emilywritesaboutdean @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms​ @babybrotherdean @babypieandwhiskey @nichelle-my-belle @iwantthedean​ @dreamingintheimpalawithdean​ @ravengirl94 @eyes-of-a-disney-princess​ @demondean-for-kingofhell @wantingtobekorra