#ugh i hate it ehre

[raspberrysmoon]

KAI FACT:

watcher world is outtttt :3c

WATCHER WORLD!!!!!! yippee!!!!! MY GIRL IS HERE ALICE!!!! MY FAVORITE!!!!

- ALICE!!!!!! SHES HERE!!!!!!!

- he ruffles her hair <33333 she giggles <333333

- ok this is where shit went to shit basically ao there could be a two or three page gap, or a two line gap in my ramble here

- im trying to figure out where i last stopped and tbh i have no idea. sighssss

- alice asking what happened :(

- uncle bill <3

- THE CLIPPPPPP IM INSANE

- the lousy joke is so them i loev them

- ive lost my place again. does kai thinking ted spawned in mean anything

- Holy shit Blinky Song. this song goes so hard actually. i am JAMMIN

- i just read "clap" and "dap" and i was so confused

- "praise the watcher" BIOOOOOOOO NO

- snigglette is the star of the show actually i love her

- "she needs a doctor" mimicking charlotte about sam in guy. is that a canon alice line ?

- kai (flabbergasted)

- "i should know" yeah you got a lot of experience in that department dont you kai

- get my girl outta here

- "better than blue" you make me INSANE

- FIBRO KAI MENTION RAHHH

- god hes such a piece of shit in this episode i love him

- this is one of my favorite scenes ever "sweetie" UGH

- oh boy oh man

- oh what the fuck

- hwy do you do this to her

- "but it still IS one" UGH

- "im sorry and i love ya" reminds me of how kai talks i wonder if thats how the line reads in the episode idr

- "miss ingenue" hey wait a minute-

- kai really is just like that

- i am going to kill bill woodward slowly and painfully

- "little miss" if he adds ingenue to that ill explode

- MAN FUCK THIS GUY????

- "make yourself worth loving" do you hate ehr ? 😭

- "This one isn’t for performance. She knows the difference. She’ll always know. You can’t ever forget that weight. The weight of the sword. The weight of the world. The weight of duty. The weight of being too young, being unprepared, but having to do so anyways. The weight of becoming salvation" ????????????

- "fill with purple" is a really cool like

- "im proud of you, sir" 👎

- 2/3 of them had panic attacks :( the bingo sheet would be damn well filled rn

- nuh uh what if i cried rn. the doll??? 😭😭😭😭😭😭

- BUH BYE MISS INGENUE????? CRIES SCREAMS?

- SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPPPP OH YM GOD

[bigmack2go]

It has been brought to my attention that(by myself) that l never shared my hamilton translation w u guys!

Okay so first up i wanna say smt

I started translating hamilton back in 2021 before the german hamilton was a thing. When i found out it was gonna be a thing i stopped, i guess i was a bit disappointed but eh… it wasn’t like mine was gonna be a thing anyways so…. HOWEVER then german Hamilton came out and u h a t e d it. I despise this thing. Im sorry but i simply cannot stand it. This isn’t like hate against whoever made it, just welll,,, against their work? Not them as a person??? Ugh idek. so i continued the whole thing and also started to re-do some old stuff that i realised i could have done better. I wanted to make sure not to lose lin Manuel mirands style and/or touch to it. Not only because his style is awesome, but especially because i think ots crucial for the musical to be the masterpiece that it is, to bring out Hamiltons passion to write and shit. and when i picked it back up, i analysed his style of writing even more and made sure to use it. Anyway so i realise that im not as good as him but i tried and i may even not be as good as the official one but i honestly do think that i did a better job keeping Miranda‘s style. And also that most people wont even understand it but eh…

Now taht im finally done with all that stuff that no one cares about- lets strt: Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr, and My Shot/ Mein pulver! Little heads-up: there is shit that is couldnt choose between two versions lmao.

Burr: ‚bur’

Hamilton: ‚Ham’

Laurens: ‚Lau’

Lafayette: ‚Laf’

Mulligan: ‚Mul’

Ensemble: ‚ens’

Eliza: ‚Els’

Angelica: ‚ang’

Maria: ‚peg’

Washington: ‚wash’

Bur: wie wird ein bastard, weise, hurensohn

Der irgendwo im Nirgendwo, komplett ohne option, in karibischer Region, in unbekannter gegend,

Zurück gelassen wurde, einfach so

Anscheinend verarmt und im Elend,

Belesen und ein Man von Ehre(n)?

ErSTAUNTE generation

AUS LAUNe. •

Lau: der man auf dem Zehndoller schein;

Einer der Gründerväter,

Mit/hat keinem Vetter (mehr),

Hatte es viel schwerer,

Arbeitete viel härter,

Machte sich selbst stärker und wurde ein von-innen-versehrter Gelehrter. •

Laf: und jeden TAG SAH er zu,

Wie MAN SKLAven schlug,

Verschleppte, sie wegschuf,

Wie das Meer sie hinweg trug

Und „Gerechtigkeit“ sich seiten sucht.

Und er bleibt/blieb auf der hut,

Denn er weiß/wusste gut:

Es gab/gibt TAbus.

Denn er WAR/ist klug.

Doch er gehört nirgends DAzu.

Er wollte/will ein Teil sein. Der Bruder

War bereit zu stehlen, zu leihen,

Zu betteln, flehen und teilen/

War bereit zu stehlen, betteln und leihen,

Zu flehen, geben und teilen•

Mul: als sich gerade alles wieder auswog

Als ein hurricane aufzog

Und alles wieder verbog

Sah unser junge wie seine Zukunft bildlich vor ihm wegflog.

Was ihm blieb WAR‘n verstand und manier.

Dann hat er‘s ENDlich kapiert.

Er verstand, verband TINTe MIT herz,

Sein erster vers

Sein schmerz auf papier•

Bur: es sprach sich rum.

Es machte schnell die runde.

Es hieß, der junge

Ist unglaublich, erstaunlich!

Jede einzelne stunde

VerDANKT er spenden von fremden un ihn an‘s FestLAND zu senden,

Sein denken nicht zu verschwenden,

Um sein leid zu beenden

(Und vielleicht den schein zurück zu blenden.)

„Sieh zu dass du was lernst, Jung‘,/

„Schau zu dass du was lernst, Minjung‘,

Vergiss nicht wo du herkommst,

DAmit man dich nicht vergisst!“

Der NAMe den hier jeder kennt,

Der NAMe den ihr alle wisst;

SAG uns wer du bist!•

Ham: Alexander Hamilton!

Ham: man nennt mich Alexander Hamilton

Und vor mir liegt noch gut eine Million

Aber irgendwann (/), ihr seht dann schon!•

Els: sein vater, ausgerasted,

er grad zehn als er ging, ihn verlies, ihm seine Mutter blieb.

Die zwei jahre später hier saßen;

Sie konnten kaum aufstehen, konnten nicht laufen, das Bett verlassen, es tad weh sich nur zu bewegen, alles schiehn sich zu drehn.

Ens: und so musste Alex zusehen als seine Mutter ging

Wash: alsl zog er ein bei einem cusin

Der sich bald darauf erhängt/ das leben nimmt

Hinterließ ihm nur zweifel und scham

(Verletzten stolz)

Eine stimme die von innen kam

(Und ihn da raus hohlt)•

Bur: und es geht

Ens: „Alex, du hast jetzt nur noch dich selbst“ •

Wash: zieht sich zurück, falls er sich komisch verhält,

Ist das nur weil er sicherstellt,

Dass er nicht nochmal fällt

Liest alles im regal, ihm ist egal ob‘s ihm gefällt…•

Bur: jemand mit weniger talent

Währe längst am ende

Vorallem ohne auch nur einen cent

Der ihn jetzt noch retten könnte

Bur: er fing being seinem Hausherrn an

Verkaufte zuckerrohr und rum.

Er handelte

was er soch selbst nicht leistent konnte.

Er bahnt sich an Bücher, ganz egal wie.

Er plant wie

Seine zukunft aussieht.

Wie er da rankommt?:

Er hat ein Schiff genomm‘!

Er ist an Bord:

Auf dem weg nach new york!

Ens: in newyork kannst du neu anfang‘

In new york bist du ein ganz neuer mann

In New York•

Ens: New York!

Ens: irgendwann!/ ihr seht dann schon!

Ens: Alexander Hamilton, wir warten alle nur auf dich!

Merkst nie wann es reicht; wenn du zu weit gehst.

Du lerntest nie dir Zeit zu nehm

Oh-hoh

Alexander Hamilton,

Wenn Amerika für dich singt,/ wenn Amerikas Kinder sing‘,

Wissen sie was du durchliefst?

Wissen sie dass du selbst die regeln schriebst

(Omg im so proud of that one ydek!!!)

Die welt wor nie mehr so wie du sie kennst/ wie sie war•

Bur: Das schiff ist jetzt im Hafen,

Eines unter vielen.

Nur noch ein Immigrand

Bereit sich hoch zu spielen

Sein ruf ist längst zerstört,

Sein Name ist unbekannt/ vergessen

Laf&Mul/ Jef& Mad: WIR kämpften mit ihm/

wir warn mit ihm im Kampf

Lau: ICH lies mein leben

Wash: ICH stand ihm nah/

Weil ICH ihm nah stand/

ICH hab ihm vertraut

Els& Lau& Mar: ICH? Ich liebte ihn.

Bur: und ich? Ich bin der verdammte Narr

Der sein Leben nahm/

Und ich? Ich hab alles versaut.

[zenithpng]

so many fictional characters to dress up as, so little money and time

[robertsbarbie-archive]

i hate that women in the music industry get so much flack for having feelings

[habibialkaysani]

wow do you ever just really wanna punch a certain family member in the face

[dukecrockerarchive]

“you  could  die.  we  could  all  die.  there  are  men  out  there  with  guns  keeping  us  from  leaving.....and  you  still  can’t  tell  me  the  truth.”

[obsidiancreates]

The Deadly Venom Liveblog

Wait, what? Karai is human again? Offscreen? Oh god they whiffed it...

EWWWW BRAIN WORM

God I love that Rocksteady is so happy to be named Rocksteady. Love him.

Wait so she's still a snake, but also not? This is why we don't do these offscreen.

I feel none of the tension they were hoping I'd feel... probably because... THEY DID ALL THE IMPORTANT SHIT OFFSCREEN

At least I have the bop of the theme song to soothe me

Is Leo doing really well, or is Splinter sick?

Okay yeah Splinter is still wounded.

Splinter was more fun in the first two seasons.

Oh okay he has magic. Yeah okay "technique" motherfucker that's a spell.

Casey I love you sweetie but you're ignoring April again. Are you ADHD as well? He might be ADHD as well.

Does her dad not like Casey?

Oh We In A Nightmare]OH SHE GOT POISONED

OH FUCK THAT BITE IS NASTY AND TERRIBLE

Casey why are you beatboxing to yourself while on patrol

YAY RETURN OF THE BIKE YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS RETURN OF THE WAR BIKEEEEEEEEE

HE HAS MISSILES ON THE BIKE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Not only is he beatboxing, he's using his own name as the lyric.

Awwww Casey was trying to make friends! Oh he'll never get an alternative-style friend in Karai now after thi- ASK EHR OUT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!]Oh no! Casey's gonna get bit!

KISSED?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

WHAT IS THIS I HATED ALL OF THAT

Why the hell did Kirby bring April to The Turtles by the way? Oh good he agrees

ONCE AGAIN DONNIE HAS TO DO A LITERAL MIRACLE CURE ALL BY HIMSELF WITH TONS OF PRESSURE ON HIM TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS

Sorry was Mikey about to suck Casey's butt. Okay who let the perverts write this episode?

WAIT LOL KIRBY IS ONLY AS TALL AS DONNIE HE'S ONLY 5 FOOT 6 INCHES THAT'S SO FUNNY TO ME oh no he's a little taller nevermind

KIRBY LEAVE DONNIE ALONE HE'S 16-17 YEARS OLD IF WE GO BY 1 SEASON = 1 YEAR AND HE'S ONLY 15 IF WE GO BY THE TIMELINE THE SHOW INSISTS ON I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE PANICKING ABOUT POSSIBLY LOSING YOUR DAUGHTER BUT STRESSING OUT THE ALREADY STRESSED TEENAGE BOY ISN'T GOING TO HELP HER

Yeah no this is just- this is just magic. This is spells. Splinter can do magic now.

Oh no, did they get bit in the water? Is there venom in the water? Why do they feel sick?

OH DONNIE IS A PINEAPPLE HEAD. HE STAYED AS ONE FOR THAT WHOLE RUNNING SHOT

Girl your venom is OP

OH GOD DID DONNIE HAVE A HEART ATTACK?!?!?!?! WHAT WAS WITH THE CHEST CLUTCHING

WHY'D YOU HANG CASEY UPSIDE DOWN HOW DARE

Slow, but then, within the hour? That's pretty fast Karai.

This plot is dumb. We did villain Karai, we don't need it again. Or let her be a villain outside of Shredder if you must. But this is stale.

PFFFFFFT "April, you must defeat the venom with Willpower." "... Oh god why did I bring her to TURTLES AND A RAT-" I just love Kirby's immediate panic after Splinter said that, my thoughts exactly man

So like. The Kraang are legit just. Gone? ... That kind of sucks. It's really good when Shredder and The Kraang are both there, I think it's getting stale now because it's only Shredder. ... I miss The Kraang.

Oh look Leo got bit twice more... but he's fighting it... I'm yawning.

It's magic, Karai. This show has magic now. I guess.

Oh that was a weird choice for the punch. ... Actually this whole sequence was weird.

Kirby's having a hell of a night, man. Magic Ninja Rat Man just healed his daughter who's half interdimensional alien.

Awwww Donnie arguing in Karai's favor since she's under mind control. See this is why I hated that part where he threw the can at Casey in Casey Jones vs The Underworld, multiple episodes establish Donnie as, largely, the Bleeding Heart of the group, and yeah he has moments of exception to that but generally he's not outright cruel. But that throwing thing was so... bully-like... ugh.

Leo unlocked the Healing Spells, his Mana leveled up. Multiclassing unlocked.

[eddsworld-headies]

Eddsworld Girlfriends| Tudor Mansion Part 1

Me being self indulgent with OC's cause I can >:)

Part 1

“Hey there, Teddy bear! What’s up?” Mayleen asked, her phone set on the coffee table and the connected earbud resting in her ear as she fixed the pillows on the couch and watered a few of the nearby plants. Her green apron contrasting her tan sundress and pale skin, long blonde hair pulled up in a temporary bun and straight bands curling nicely against her round face.

“Hey May,” Edd said softly, sounding flat and down. She frowned slightly, moving over to the coffee bar to water the flowers underneath the top. “You sound down. What’s wrong Pookie?” She asked, setting the green watering can on the table top as she moved to behind the bar to clean up her area with customers passing by the window. “ Well, you know that big commercial I’m working on?”

“The one with Cola! I’m so excited to see it, Edd! Your animation is so creative, I would’ve neer been able to put together something like bacon and butterscotch!” She praised, bright smile wide as he wiped her bakery goods display case down. “ That’s sweet of you muffin, but the company wants to meet with me and schedule some more commissions.”

Mayleen stopped, getting up from her kneeled position and letting out a sharp laugh as she smiled. “ Oh my god. Oh my god! Edd! That’s amazing sweetheart!” She said excitedly, physically jumping a little in brown heeled ankle boots. “I can’t believe it! This is gonna be it, Eddy! This is gonna be the one that gets you big, I just know it!” She moved around the counter and back to the coffee table to grab her phone. “ Butter-cup,” He breathed from the other end of the phone.

“They want me to come this week. They've got a plane lined up and everything to bring me over.”

Mayleen stopped for a moment, sitting down.

“What?”

///////////

“I’m so sorry, Darling, but the modeling agency just sprung this on me! A big brand wanted my gorgeous face to model their make-up.” Matt said, voice slightly loud as Serena pressed her phone between ehr ear and shoulder.

Her black wolf mullet pulled back with a hair clip. She smiled nicely at the customer as she packed up his amethyst mirror and vintage jacket, waving him goodbye as she pressed her glasses up her tan nose. “Matthew! It’s okay, Sweets! This is good for you!” She said, her accent originates from her earlier years in Venezuela, but her most recent years seem to dull the pronunciations.

“I know, My darling. I just hate to cancel this week! Our whole trip that we’ve planned for months! Ugh- It sucks.” She laughed at her boyfriend's whining, pulling up her low rise jeans and straightening her band shirt as she walked to the back room. “ I know. It sucks. We spent so much on those rooms too. I mean, how many people get to rent out a thousand year old castle in Scotland? It would’ve been perfect.” She said, reaching up onto the top shelf in the storage room to grab another amethyst mirror to set out.

“I mean, it could still be perfect.”

“How so?”

“ You should go anyway.”

////////

“Tord, baby. I’m not going away for the week with a bunch of people I don’t know.”

“ It’s not a bunch of people, Ness. You’ve met Edd a couple times-”

“I thought you said Edd couldn’t make it.”

“ He can’t. But Mayleen is gonna be there! You know Mayleen!”

Ness put the jacket hanger back on the rack as she made her way past two girls fawning over a new dress, her long pink hair straight and down to her elbows as she shuffled her bags up to the crooks of her arms.

“ So what, it’ll just be us girls? I’ve hardly met any of them! What if they're uncomfortable with a Trans-chick using their bathrooms or something?”

“They aren’t like that, Baby. Mayleen is sweet, Serena is super clever, and-”

“I know. They're all great. But have you met me? I’m extreme, Tord. Too extreme for certain people.”

“ Not these ones, I promise.”

She sighed as he persisted, setting her things down on a nearby bench as multiple people walked through the mall. Some gave her a few odd looks. She was 5’8 with chunky pink heels, looking especially awkward with a white t-shirt and jeans shorts. But she paid good money for her figure and got a few ribs removed to look as good as she wanted.

Let them stare, she looked fucking good.

“Okay. Fine. I’ll go.”

“ Yes! I swear you’ll have so much fun!”

“ Yeah yeah. I just hope we’re not gonna be all weird and awkward the whole time.”

////////

“I promise you it won’t be. You’ll have a great time!”

The brunette sighed, running her hand through her short, spiked hair as she set down her snacks and drinks by her gaming set-up, her stream on break and a little timer set for when she’d be back to the game runthrough.

“ I dunno, Tom. I feel kinda weird. I don’t even know these girls, and you know how I am. I don’t do the- Girly girlfriend thing. Unless I’m looking to strike out but I don’t wanna steal one of the guys' ladies friends.” She joked her american accent was a clear contrast to the brit she was talking to.

“Relax, Cansinova,” Tom chuckled from over the phone. “ You’ll be fine. I’m sure they can handle your butchness.” She rolled her eyes as she put the phone on speaker, setting it on her desk and pulling up the sleeves to her blue zip up hoodie and pulled the red sleeves underneath down so they contrasted. Even though she’d probably shove them back up in mere minutes.

“ It’s just weird. What does Tord need your help with anyway?”

“ He has some charity event for inventors that need a few musicians.”

“Ooooh, moving up the chain. Don’t forget us peasants down here when you’re a big famous musician.” She smiled as Tom laughed over the phone, shaking the cuffs of her jeans to get them to unroll. “Don’t worry. I won’t.”

“ I mean, does it even matter if I go? It’s kinda weird, right? Going with Edd’s, Matt’s, and Tord’s girlfriends and I’m just- like some girl you knew that you're sending over.” She said awkwardly.

“I mean, it’d be a real waste of money and a good time. Besides, you’ve been dying to meet Edd’s girlfriend for months. This is a perfect bonding opportunity!”

“Well yeah. He’s my brother. I’ve gotta have the little sister ‘ If you hurt my brother I’ll scalp you’ conversation but.. I mean, this is like a girlfriend thing. What if they think, I'm like, yours?” She asked. “Would that be so bad?” He asked lightly. She flushed. “No. Of course not. But, it’s not true. I mean, haven’t you been seeing that Casey chick? You sure you don’t want her going?”

“Oh, Case? She’s.. Cool.. But Edd and I would much rather have you girls going than no one at all.” He reasoned. “You guys will be spending a lot of time together anyway, ya know. They're always over and you’re looking for a place, maybe it’ll work out for all of us.”

“Yeah, right. What’re the chances we all move in together?” “ I dunno, we’re pretty good with odds. Remember that time-” “ You guys went to hell and met Satan himself? I swear ya’ll were tripping on acid.” She joked. “ Excuse me. My acid is perfectly legit.”

She laughed as she sat crossed legged in her gaming chair as the stream countdown reached 3 minutes. “ Gonna have to cut you short, dude. Starting back up in a few minutes.” “ Alright. I’ll make sure to stop by on my break. Maybe donate a little.” “ Ooooh, dinner and a movie first, Buddy.” She teased, turning to her desk.

“ Yeah yeah, maybe after you guys come back.”

“ I’ll talk later.”

“ Bye Bridge.”

“ Later, Jehovah.”

“ Oh god, now Tord has you saying it-?”

[thatwasthenightthingschanged]

I haven’t done one of these in quite a while now, but here’s finally the next part of my “The Taylor Swift song analysis series”! In which I, a German girl majoring in English, attempt to analyse or interpret Taylor’s songs to shed more light on a) her incredible song writing skills and b) songs that are generally very underrated and deserve more attention. (here’s the link to all my song analysis)

Today’s song is We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (since I’m still doing the songs on RED in chronological order) and I’m rlly excited abt this because this song is so underrated but I absolutely love it! and I do think it’s actually pretty sad in the context of the whole album but just disguises the fact under a very pop-y melody (also, as always, a short psa that this  interpretation is extremely subjective meaning that’s just how I see the song! also that I’m no native speaker so I probably will not be able to get any cultural references in any of Taylor’s songs - but feel free to add them in a reblog :) )

(keep in mind, Taylor’s very much still talking about the relationship that she mentioned in songs like State Of Grace, Treacherous or All Too Well - meaning it’s about this toxic person she was with, when she threw caution out of the window)

“I remember when we broke up the first time, saying, ‘this is it, I've had enough,’ 'cause, like, we hadn't seen each other in a month when you said you needed ‘space’ (what?)” This is quite literal, the first time she broke up with that person she was so fed up with them because she didn’t get them. They hadn’t been able to meet for a month (aka her partner had enough ‘space’) and then when they finally met up again (which she was probably pretty excited about) they said, they needed even more space, which just doesn’t seem to make sense to her.

“then you come around again and say ‘baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change, trust me’ “ So her partner basically broke up with HER because he needed said space, but then a bit later that person turned around and came back to her and said they were sorry for treating her this way, they realize their mistake and they promise not to repeat it. In context with ‘Babe’ I’d go as far to say that this also relates to that person cheating on her, then coming back and saying it was a one time thing and it’s never going to happen again. Taylor in this case forgave him and they were back together.

“remember how that lasted for a day?” this promise, however, turned out to be empty as that person treated her shitty again just a day later. this pretty much illustrates the dynamic between the two: her partner would mess up, she’d forgive him because she loved him so much, and then he messed up again, she forgave him, etc. it seems like she was more invested in the relationship than her partner was.

“I say, ‘I hate you,’ we break up, you call me, ‘I love you’ “ Again illustrating the dynamic of their relationship. this part is also a bit of a juxtaposition in my opinion because here HE says he loves her, yet based on the fact that she kept forgiving him and he kept messing up, she was the one who truly loved him and he just said he did but if he really loved her, he wouldn’t have treated her this way.

“we called it off again last night, but this time, I'm telling you, I'm telling you we are never, ever, ever getting back together. you go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me but we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together, like, ever“ Yes, this a pretty catchy line but for me it’s rather sad, considering that she kept seeing the best in her partner so many times, gave him so many chances, yet he still kept on disappointing her, cheating on her and treating her like shit. And apparently if she then ignored him/wouldn’t let him speak to her, he talked to her friends or his friends and tried to get them to convince Taylor to take him back. But right now she’s at a point where she says “Ok, been there, done that, this clearly isn’t gonna work out, no matter how many times you say you’ll change because you clearly never will and I clearly don’t mean half as much to you as you mean to me; I’m worth more than that”

“I'm really gonna miss you picking fights and me, falling for it, screaming that I'm right” another part of their rather toxic relationship: He picked fights with her over little things on purpose. To me it seems like he just searched for a good reason to break up with her. And instead of talking their problems out, they both were stoic, never admitted they were wrong so the distance between them grew even bigger (reminds me of Taylor’s ELLE article when she said she had to learn how to fight fair with the ones she loves).

“and you would hide away and find your peace of mind with some indie record that's much cooler than mine” Oh yes, here comes the cheating. So they would get into a fight (which he started, mind you) so that he wouldn’t have to feel bad for making out with another person because Taylor and he were “broken up”. He could of course also later use that excuse when apologizing to Taylor, saying “yeah, I did make out with another person, but we were broken up at that time, so it was okay for me to do that” which is a pretty messed up logic considering how often he did that. But of course, as Taylor, this at first might have made sense until it happened too often. It also turns around the victim-abuser dynamic and telling Taylor that she has no right to be upset about it, which is pretty messed up. Also the line about the indie record implies that he constantly told her her music wasn’t “good” because it was country and “ugh that’s so mainstream, how boring” and in one occasion apparently even hooked up with an indie artist (I assume?). So he had no respect for Taylor’s talent and just constantly talked her down instead of supporting her. Also notable how she made this song a pop song because country was already too mainstream for him, so she made the song even more mainstream by turning to pop and forcing him to listen to it wherever he goes.

“I used to think that we were forever, ever” Again, pretty sad if you think about it: She thought he was ‘the one’, that they would end up married and having kids but she was just crushed by the reality of him.

“and I used to say, ‘never say never’ “ She also used to give people as many chances as they’d like (which her partner really took advantage of) but this is over now since she has finally gotten to a breaking point.

“ugh, so he calls me up and he's like, ‘I still love you’ and I'm like, ‘I just- I mean, this is exhausting, you know? like, we are never getting back together, like, ever’ “ also pretty sad in my opinion simply because she’s now at a point where those three words mean nothing to her, she cannot believe him when he tells her he loves her. And it’s clearly taken a mental toll on her, she’s exhausted of getting ehr hopes up every time, thinking it will finally be different, only for him to smash them to the ground again (but at least she’s gotten the strength to finally leave this toxic relationship behind, as leaving is often extremely difficult in these situations)

[tantawans]

heyy, so i just watched the finale and i was quite content with most of it. i think my brain subconsciously suppressed the parts i hated tho? bc i came here and read stuff about it, abd was like 'ah, yes, i forgot boom and tor got married' LMAO i literally forgot the wedding was for them bc my brain just couldnt fathom why on earth those two, after having fought for so long and being so bad for one another, decided to fix their issues with marriage. and yes, boyo's advice to boom didnt fit her character, thats supposed to be empowering and thats learning how to love herself. i mean, i could expect that kind of advice from earth who clearly doesnt know how to love himself since he put up with toxic trash bag sam for so long, but not from boyo, that just didnt fit ehr character at all. but then i was really happy with boyo's ending. i know u and many were rooting for her to end up with good, but for me it was good that she wanted to take time for herself and learn how to love properly, since she has clearly been struggling with it since s1, and making her end up with good all of a sudden after everything just didnt fit right for me. im also happy music stood up for herself and locker got treated like the shitbag he is. also, i kind of saw the last scene with music and good as them ending up as good friends? i mean, i know they cuddled and stuff, but to me it seemed like they were having each other's back, since they were both struggling with similar situations. i liled their relationship throughout the series, bc they were always honest about what they were for each other, and among all of their struggles, they found someone they vould rely on and a friend. and crissamm were perfect, nothing to add, nothing to take, i just love them the way they are. they were the healthiest, most loving couple out of them all.

what i was really disappointed (but not quite surprised) was studearth. i mean, there was clearly no time at all for earth to both break up with sam and then get with stud, it would seem too rushed. they should have make them break up earlier on and not make stud seek love somewhere else just bc he was hurt once again. i agree that stud and ta dont seem quite right for me for that reason. stud doesnt love him, stud doesnt know how to love himself, and, honestly, i think he should pull a boyo and be by himself for a while. it was frustrating also, to watch earth pretend not to love him when he clearly does??? like, first of all, he was jealous af when stud frist introduced ta (sorry, pal, but u dont get jealous when friends get boyfriends), and then the pain printed on his face when he told stud he just wanted to be friends?????? like what was up with that. thats not the face of someone that just wants to be friends. he was clearly hiding his love for stud for some reason; perhaps bc he too thinks he should pull a boyo before he tries anything with him bu doesnt want stud to continue pining after him for longer than he already has. earth has always known stud loves him, and he has been leasing him on, so its good he has somehow "released" him from that so that maybe stud can focus on thinking about himself first.

i would really like a third season to close all of the loose endings, tho. ugh, im happy, but sad, and disappointed, but calm. theres just too many emotions.

also, i really need a gif of amm throwing water at that dude and saying 'sorry, i thought you were a trashcan bc all u say is crap' bc that was just ICONIC. so if u find someone who makes it (or if u decide to make it) please let me know!!!

love u!!! hope u are doing well

hey angel love u !!!! yeah that's how i feel about it as well like i was okay with most of it but the things i didn't like were things i was really hopeful for so i was a bit let down! mzxcbn you repressing the entire torboom wedding... same. like cris and amm looked so good i just pretended it was their wedding lmao

exactly??? like boyo queen of self love really said yeah marry him even though you'll just be fighting all the time!! and then when she was acting like they were the ideal couple when she was talking to good it just really didn't make much sense to me if i'm honest. yeah i'm happy with boyo's ending too! i would have liked her to be with good but this was definitely the next best ending for me i'm very proud of her!

honestly music slapping locker and standing up for herself was such a big highlight for me it was so good to see her do that!!! and yeah that's how i'm choosing to take it.. that they're just friends who understand each other because they're in the same situation.

OMG EXACTLY! like i'm supposed to buy they want to be just friends when earth looks like he's in physical pain and crying ???? okay sure. like i feel like im crazy because to me its so Obvious how much they love each other and yet they refuse to acknowledge it so i'm like ??? is it just me that sees this or ??? they just keep going in circles it's so frustrating i was really hoping they would be together :((((

i'm like 50/50 on a season 3 because i really do love the show but it's little things that just kind of disappoint me a bit. i'd hate for them to do a s3 and give me hope for studearth all over again just for it to not happen but i do think there's definitely room for a third season.

IT WAS ICONIC and you might have seen it already but i saw a gifset of it in the tag so if u haven't already reblogged it i will go tag u in it <3

[mingi-bubu]

Watch “Youth with You” with Me!

Episode 1 Part 1

- Lisa is so cute when meeting Kun and Ella!!  What dorks to hide from her hahaha

- Jony J is cooler than I will ever be and all he’s wearing is a plaid puffy jacket

- I love that Kun and Ella were so like “hehehee we’ll trick and surprise them” and then Lisa just jokes back with them that she knows what an icon

- Jony J, sir, please...Kun and Ella are so sick of him im weak

- Lisa, sweetie, never change !

- the door crying as the Shining Twins walk past lmaooo (the trainees from AKB48 Team SH, Kuliko “Chestnut” Shen and Anne Hu)

- the mentors remind them of the teletubbies im screaming

- Ella stop being so mean!!! they’re so afraid omg

- ooh new team! Independent trainee nevermind just like Kun!

- Oh she’s cool.  Jue Chen has such a style I’m actually weak like I think she’s too nervous to expand on any thoughts i’m dead I love her

- HuaCe Movie Esther Yu I’m so sorry sweetie

- Pastel Gang, aka TPG’s group All the Same Height, are so adorable

- oh Anne sweetie again I’m so sorry

- Esther is such a mood incredible she’s deadass asking to take his seat what an incredible person

- Jony J kills me with his responses

- SNH48 and AKB48 are in such similar costumes but they are more

- now they’re going through a montage of the many different groups

- Tov Ent K Lu and the rest of the three-person group I think might be some of my favorites as we continue.  Them, the Shining Twins, and Esther.

- Wow her dance from the Opera is incredible i deffo need to find it online eventually

- look i know i’ve probably reblogged this already but when Kun steps in to actually make sure that Lisa is able to understand and talk with the rest of the members??  I want a group of friends with that kind of worry and respect for each other

- I do not want to get on the wrong side of Joey Chua ever bc she could definitely kill me with little to no effort

- aish they all look so cool!  (another montage of like several groups)

- Mr. Fruit is a product placement I know and I’ve only known him since the beginning of the episode but if anything happens to him I would cry

- I’m the girl who threw up her arms as a heart to Lisa’s intro thanks

- Kun is such a dork im love him

- their food looks so good ugh I want some roast goose too

- i’m gonna assume the super fancy pink x chair is gonna be for either the leader of the nine-person group at the end of the series or for the person who does the best

- their dorms look better than mine and they’re only staying there for a maximum of four months i hate it like i love it but im jealous of how nice they look

- Their ads are certainly interesting

- oooh yay the mentors are gonna be performing yay!!!!! Let’s go Lisa let’s go!!

- not to sound gay right now even though it will and i am a queer this is very cool and she’s so pretty and the dance is very fun to watch

- Heck yeah Mr. Jony J !  the guitar is nice i like the beat

- the song is so personal to him and yet he makes it with his tone feel like it’s personal for us too and the way the trainees reacted is a good example of what i’m trying to say

- YES IT’S ELLA’S TIME I CAN’T WAIT I LOVE EHR

- bitch im gonna cry this song is like as one fo the trainees said a story wowowowow

- i’m adding her song to my asian pop playlist on spotify if i can

- I’m all of the trainees trying to hold back tears by looking at the ceiling

- ksksksks the leg kick i literally am so weak

- I feel like Kun and Heechul would get along oddly well if they ever meet

- Kun and I are also like the same age and so like,..,sir,,,no one is going to call you daddy.  you are literally a year older please calm down

- OOoh TOV vs Lionheart we all know I want TOV to win tho :/

- K Lu obvi doesn’t believe Kelly but it’s cool it’s fine it’s whatever

- their choreo is so fun!  i love the foot taps with Marco Lin and K Lu!

- K Lu reminds me of Kai when dancing and the outfits help a lot lmao

- I like that the mentors are giving advice right after they’re finished that’s very nice for them

- I might just be dumb but is Marco the only guy?  of all of the trainees?

- Kelly’s voice is very good i do like it

- i don’t think that she practiced singing and dancing at the same time however.  she sounds out of breath

- “she designed [the microphone hold]” i’ve seen heechul do the same thing but also she was probably a youth-y youth and Ella laughing about the hip-hop of it killed me

- i think i’ll watch Kun & ZZT’s season of idol producer after this season is done for several reasons but mainly I just deeply miss Yixing and his instagram Calvin ads aren’t enough content I’m afraid :(   xp

- and that’s all for part 1!!!

[mortaljin]

U and T!!!

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

Hmmm I’m trying to think, there’s not many that i absolutely hate but there’s plenty that I generally dont try to read. Thinks like enemies to lovers or friends with benefits to lovers i generally steer cleer from. The former because its soo chessy (tho when i read one i always squeal in delight) but definitely not the latter because those fics usually don’t have a happy ending. The FWB-L fics i’ve read, anyway, never have the reader pairing up with the member and it just.. hurts. HONESTLY I CANT STAND ANY TROPE BECAUSE IT HURTS SO FUCKIGN BAD TO READ AND LIKE ITS ALWAYS ANGST BUT I PUSH ON. its not so much a matter of me not liking tropes, i just don’t read fics based on tropes, i read them based on the AU which--wait, please tell me trope isn’t supposed to mean AU here. IF TROPE MEANS AU HERE THEN I CANT DO WEREWOLF FICS. like again, if i read one i usually like it, but i steer clear bc i just cant get the whole dog thing out of my head... and hybrid fics? ive kinda gotten away from those. and yes i know, i wrote one lolololol

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers andwhy you like them so much.

UGH YESSSSS PLEASE LET ME SHOWER  PEOPLE WITH COMPLIMENTS.

@jeonjagiya

this woman is literally the shit. like??  i can barely think of more people in the writing community that can write people like her?? idk if its natural skill or all the effort she puts in when it comes to editing, but the people in her stories sound like real people you would meet on the street; they don’t feel like flat characters? I guess. idk i love iris and how she writes people BYE.

@kpopfanfictrash 

ugh SHANNA. she writes so many different types of things and i just sigh. Blackthorn manor is still probably one of my favorites. she just writes some really cool shit and you can get a variety of different things from her blog :’))

@floralseokjin

 DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING HARD IT IS TO FIND SOMEONE IN THIS FANDOM WITH MORE THAN TWO JIN THINGS ON THEIR MASTERLIST?? LET ALONE LIKE A MILLION??? UGH all of my jin fic needs get satisfied with ehr writing and im swooning

This ended up being so long thank you for coming to my ted talk

Fanfic Ask Game! Ask Me Here 

[washvngton-blog]

❝ I grasp my anger and loneliness and hold it in my chest. It has changed me into someone I never meant to be. ❞ Josephine ���Josie’ Washington, Kiersey Clemons, Sixteen, Incoming Sixth Year, Gryffindor, Cis-Female, Muggleborn, She/Her

here are some links: stats page, pinboard, application. there’ll be some triggers in this intro that i will give a heads up for at every necessary bullet point. they are terminal illness, cancer, death (of a parent), grief.

okay so i think her application gives a lot of information about josie and her background, so i’m going to keep this sweet and short & try to just give a short rundown of everything and add some more stuff!

josie grew up in a pretty normal family. one of those picket-fence, pretending-to-be-perfect families. she grew up in a calm neighbourhood in newport, was always a bit of an odd one out, with her love for black nailpolish and bands her parents didn’t approve of and the inexplicable things happening, but she was loved and life was stable and sometimes a bit dull, but good. 

cancer / terminal illness tw. they found out that her father had cancer in the same month that they learned about josie’s magic. fucking ironic, right? add in the fact that josie was an optimist who had no idea what the limits and rules of the wizarding world were, and 11 year old her was convinced that she would go to hogwarts, find a cure and come back. that’s what would’ve happened if this was a kids movie, after all, and life kind of felt like a shitty movie at the moment. 

death tw i mean, we all know about the statute. we all know that there’s limits to magic. josie was a child, too, unable to even perform magic that would be able to cure cancer if it existed. she kept trying to find answers, though, speaking to the matron and her teachers and reading books, desperate and convinced that magic could solve this, because it could mend broken bones like that. but he died, still, and all the denial that josie had found comfort in was ripped from her hands.    ( this was in fifth year, around january, so it’s still quite fresh )

grief tw. and then there came the mourning. josie is stuck between denial and anger right now, tbh. it’s what she did while her dad was sick, too --- deny reality and rage against it, refuse it. she finds release in laughing things away and by beating bludgers and punching her pillow. being at hogwarts, so removed from home, allowed her to slip into denial more easily, btw. she’s kind of thankful for it, but also hates it. end of trigger warnings.

okay so there’s some background --- what about josie herself? she’s a hoot to be around, most times. impulsive, in your face, outgoing, present. she likes having fun. she likes doing stupid shit. she likes living. chaotic energy all over. such a stereotypical gryffindor that my gryffindor ass cringes at it.

on another hand, she’s gloomy and angsty and trying to stop being an optimist. josie has always had a short temper, too, and many of her negative emotions end up being expressed through anger. and she has some self pity hiding inside of her that she cant get rid of and she hates it. 

josie is obsessed with fast food. she just loves hamburgers and fries. probs gets a cheeky nando’s v often. also just loves muggle culture which ties into this.

100% tired of the statute of secrecy and a lot of things about the wizarding world. would like to make a CHANGE. idealistic in her core, somewhere, hidden underneath her layers of edginess and being an angry teen. 

lesbian icon

she really loves quidditch so much. she used to play football as a kid growing up and honestly she was like ... that’s kind of. the same concept but not rly but ITS IN THE AIR and she started to practise and got on the team in her fourth year and has been beating bludgers ever since!!!!

rly loves music as well, thinks jimi hendrix himself saved music and is convinced that he was a wizard. debbie harry owns her ass tbh. 

constantly stuck between ‘ugh im such a soft icon, drinking chocolate milk’ and ‘i am going to fight the entire world with my ripped jeans!!’ 

curses like a sailor but who doesnt at this point in life

she wanted to do the st mungo’s internship but ehr grades were too low KDSJFHSD she’s so fucking bitter over it. idk what she’s doing now, i think she’s probably doing something more muggle-y but whomst knows! gotta figure that out. i do think she’d have a job, i havent thought about this lmao

josie isnt great in school mostly because she cannot concentrate for shit and is too chaotic??? thinks that the school system is stupid as well. she just wants to do shit! not sit in a classroom! damn! like she was def a better student at the beginning when stuff was so NEW but now she’s like .... excuse .... 

idk she’s so chaotic she tires me

[irrfahrer]

☘❀☘ ☘❀☘

Send me “ ☘❀☘” to give my Muse (Ask-Reciever) a Bouquet of Flowers!

Even the walls of her cabine were vibrating from the engines woarking to keep the life-supporting-systems, the artificial grvity and teh aircirculation and generation moving. The vibration worked from the low ceiling along the grey, naked durasteelwalls and into the Tynnans bunk she was laying on, making her bristle her pelt in miserable revulsion as the vibration crawled into her skin, her veins, her muscles, her bones and made every single breath aching. Ziv hated beeing in space. Ziv hated beeing in space, because she always got spacesick. It was the beeping of her cabines door that brutally pushed the Tynnan out of her comatose like doozing and threw her into a state of waking that greeted her with a wave of dizziness which made her stomach turn, turn, turn. “..ugh why...”, Ziv groaned, pinning her ears back and bristling her whiskers in utter misery like a beaten animal. “...Why the kriffing Kriff does the universe hates me so kriffing much....”, Ziv muttered to herself quietly, more like a miserable cheeping, as she pressed herself up in a sitting position so heavily as if her body was carved of stone. Spacesickness had alwas been with her, but it became worse as longeras she stayed on a ship or spacestation like this so after the weeks he had been already in this palce, she felt as if put through the cantinas meat-grinder. The second she sat up, she already ignored sitting up and promptly grabbed for the wall next to the bunk to keep herself upright while the world around her turned, turned, turned. Yet she was already up, so with her blanket wrapped around ehr small shoulders like a toga the young woman dragged herself through the small cabine to the door, her arms ont he wall in case she would just drop to the floor the next second. It seemed to need hours until she eventually reached the door and in fact it were only a few steps, yet those steps had felt as if weights had been bound to the Tynnans hindpaws. There was another beeping noise that was definitve too loud for Zivs now too sensteive senses as she gave the orde rto open the door. Hissing loudly, much much much too loudly, so loud it made the Tynnan flinch, the door slidened opned and revealed two bouquets of Arallute-Flowers laying on the with durasteel tiled floor before her. For a second Zivs mind was too tiered and exhausted to really react as the young woman looked blinking down at the bouquets- as a botanist she promptly recognised the Arallute Flower with their plumb, violet flower heads, the stark stem and the scent that remainded her of warm milk and the nerf-pelts she would lay under patients backs in heir beds so the natural oils would ease them into sleep, yet as a person focused on midwifery she also recognized the Arallute in its function in Alderaan traditions as when the flowers dried they became hard with its seeds closed inside to be used as a rattle for small children so eventually it had become tradition gifting young married people and expecting parents a Arallute-flower. Blinking slowly, her eyelids feeling as heavy as stone Ziv leaned forward and picked up the bouquets. There was a second of unexpected wildness as a crooked smirk cut through the young womans snout like a knife and she chuckled, although she regretted it promptly since it made her feel more sick: “..Eh, whats this for? I am pretty kriffing sure I had never been that bad and long drunk that I forgot an one-night-stand, kriffing six months of pregnancy and a birth...”. Still laughing and still feeling much too sick to really enjoy the present, she looked around on the corridor- the Tynnan felt too tiered to pick up a trail of scent and every smell around her had turned for her much too keen nose in a thick, heavy boundle that made it in this moment impossible to pick up the certaine scent the visitor had left behind. Eventually she only shrugged, gently cradling the bouquets in her arms like a treasure. ”Hey, Loverboy, Lovergirl, Lover-Nonbinary-pal or Lover-Alien!”, the young woman yelled along the empty corridor with a paw beside her muzzle to be louder: “Thank you! But Next time you feel kriffing affectionately towards me, you better just bring me a Bouquest of Naboo-Lavender! It helps better against my spacesickness than kriffing Arallutes!”

[hiddenwashington]

Hey so I just have one little question, because it's been a long time I am wondering about this. How can you admins be so amazing? I am not even part of this group (yet?) and still I follow this main for how respectful you all are, and how amazing. You deserve the world

IDK HOW TO RESPOND TO THIS , NOTHING I SAY IS GOOD ENOUGH

I’M CRYING

ok i am leaving the original response to this because all the admins are still yelling about this?? gosh this is just the sweetest???? like we’re just, ugh, the admins are the luckiest people here okay, you are all such amazing people, even our lurkers are the absolute sweetest?? i just, nothing i say is good enough either, we are just so happy to know that people love us, even when we feel run down or discouraged, we know that we have you people here and honestly, just knowing we can brighten people’s days by giving a kind message or saying thank you, just really makes me want to keep striving to be as kind on here as i can. i know plenty of rps where people don’t get along with the admins and i hate that environment. we are always ehre for our members and the love we have for everyone here, i really can’t explain it, it’s just such a warm feeling being here and answering questions and i am rambling. okay you’re an actual angel, thank you so much, and PLEASE COME JOIN OUR OHANA. OUR MEMBERS ARE JUST ALL AMAZING!! THANK YOU I LOVE YOU.

[amma-af]

mid-life crisis fast approaching lmao.

bruh moesha made 30 seem hella old. im freaking 29, im definitely not old.

do all 30 year olds feel this? is this fucking cliche? is this what being a millenial feels like?

freaking. andell seems like she should be at least 45 shes had a business forever, she looks oldish, hella independent with ehr own moneey, yeah she keeps getting played by her lover but the d is probably great and she doesn’t need “love” bc she’s not dependent on it for basic necessities. but she needs love so she has hope. she’s woke but understanding when someone who doesn’t understand yet. she supports the kids but says it like it is. i can def see some bits of myself in her but bruh, at least 35? bc im 29 and 1 im not as independent, and 2, im def not as old.

but i also kind of get how shes a 30 year old but do 30 year olds get the respect of older people? does andell get respect from older people? idk man tv makes teens look like 20-something and 30 eyar olds look like my mom. dee hangs with andell, she’s def not 30. but then again we hang with older people, no?

are 30 year olds friends-ish with teens and like older folks all at once a millenial thing? i mean i def have older friends bc of work, and hang with my siblings who are a generation older and as a teacher i talk to kids who are teens but i wouldn’t be friends with them? unless you consider my nieces and nephews, and some much younger coworkers.

but if im “superior” to them in some way im basically a mentor and ugh. maybe andell is 30.

that same moesha episode has gotten me thinking about highschool. and what a fucking shitfest it was. i mean, why the hell was i so pressed instead of just being a fucking kid? like, i def ended up where i wanted to and realized it sucked even more (college), esp the way i did it initially, but once i got over the fucking ivory tower and american dream bc i reallized it was never made to include me to a certain extent (the whole identity crisis over foreclosure of identity from the every day--being unwanted by the same thing interpellating its allegiance to you, how all that crap felt of being a --insert almost every pressed identity grouping here-- at a fucking --insert ever agrandized fucking included, repressive identity force here--insitution. high school wasn’t bougie enough i think. like everyone was like closer to the ground class wise so maybe it didnt feel like a big enough ocean yet. a friend told me post highschool or maybe at graduation that im going to be the big fish in the little pond trying to swim in the ocean or some quote like that. fucking i was, if not socially which i honestly didnt even try and fucking got ostracized from anyway, def on top academically and fucking TEACHERS were trying to push me down but like i still got to exactly where i wanted to go. and i fucking had a wonderful time there. got kicked out but became a whole ass human being who found so many homes with people and so many loving arms and caring friends and fucking insane moments and memories and fucking became who i am today--a fucking cool as andell like adult with a full and complete social life if not financial or career life like im ok dude. ive accomplished enough even if capitalist might make me feel like i havent accomplished anything. much like the racist ass teachers made me feel and the racist ass kids made me feel about being smart in a fucking shitfest and where the other brown kids were just in competition with me. i had no friends. i lie, i had a few. and i had the respect of a few. and i guess that makes like maybe a dozen people--hold on let me count, i think 9 people, that im cool with from high school, 3 who are close to me, 1 who fucking hates me post-college life and would try to talk shit or ruin me maybe but i miss her and we were fucking close at some point. and then a bunch of people who probably dont give a shit no longer bc we’re all adults who need to move on with our lives. i hope theyre not petty and hate me just bc of high school.

i wonder if any respect me now lol. aside from those i know, do any of them like feel bad kind of for not being a better person to me? maybe i was a bitch too though. but thats only bc i was lowkey power hungry and just wanted to get into fucking the college of my dreams and had been fed that academic success led to fianncial success and overall joy de vivre  or however oyu fucking spell it.

id still be down to be friends with whoever wants but dont have the time or energy to deal with the pettiness. i think this year was supposed to be our 10 yr reunion and idk if theyll do it bc of covid or not but fucking would i even wanna go? im still so traumatized from it idk if id wanna be judged that hard again.

fucking, i wish i was chiller back then. had realized i could be creative and look good and be more confident if i wanted to. but i guess i wouldnt be who i am had that shit not happened but i also suffer from extreme anxiety adn depression now so like maybe, people could ease up on the judgement and hatred and constant barriers and shit talking and like, lowkey bullying down a notch. these white and white washed brown kids had me fucked up.

i wish i had just like, been able to chill and be accepted a little more. but i wish the people who were chill with me couldve been more  comfortable or confident in being who they were. 

i remember ending freshman year, confident that i would have friends at the end of high school sitting between the coolest and queerest two people i could imagine showing off my hot pink ipod 3G or whatever. and then hanging out in the city with a few people on the last day. i dont even remember what we did. maybe olive garden in times square? it was def times square. the big toys r us in the city with the dance dance revolution. who the fuck were the people with us? was that even freshman year or is that a memory from some other time? i dotn fucking remember much of the good times in high school anymore. more shitty times.

but fucking, if people had been loyal would i have been a diff person? def s j and j and then later n but w during the first year and d all hugn out with me in college. and made freshman year bareable and some sitll continue to make life bareable and for me to feel loved in this day adn age adn i know the freindshipsare genuine now but i wonder if id have more people from high school as my friends just bc i fucking get attached to people bc of the whole empathy thing and like we knew eachother for good chunks of our lives, we should keep up with eachother and make sure we’re ok. but also like, did we even show care back then?

i wish id lived the teen life a little more though. like my husband did. like so many of my more normal than me feeling friends did but i wonder how many of my college friends actually liked their high school years lmao.

fucking. whatever. i probably wouldnt go to the reunion if it happened tho, fucking miss me with that shit.

andell is cool. she didnt get mad at moesha for missing her party since hs ehad a great time on her birthday thanks to her, and instead was proud that she put out a good newspaper. im def like, maybe if aliha missed my party id be happy and proud of her for her acocmplioshed but id still be pouty adn idk if that makes me much younger tahn andell or if thats just the whiny cancer gemini in me.

omg we need andells chart to udnerstand if she’s actually 30 lmao and just mature for her own age or if that show is trippig about depicting her as 30 bc shes def oldr. wonder how old the actress was.

thats an easy google fix but im just gonna keep watching and pondering lmao.

man there were some teachers at that fucking school who did not wanna see me succeed in life. and to have your advisor be that teacher really fucks with you. what a fucking bitch i think she hated me. the other people im friends with loved her tho but i think she was really just a racist. she pushed me hard but made things harder for me for no reason. thank god i got out of there in one piece, and with some confidence left in me. 

i need to go to therapy again fuck.