#ugh I love being gay
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I think Worthy (Bmblb part 2) cured my depression
But on the other hand it broke my single ass heart lmao now I miss my ex that I definitely shouldn’t miss
That song was pure wlw romance, I never cried and smiled so much listening to a song
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sorry let me rant about downton abbey 10 years later
Thomas's conversion therapy plot pisses me off so much. firstly, it's incredibly out of character. he never wanted to change to conform to society, he wanted the world to change to accomodate him. the man who said "it's not against the law to hope is it" and "I'm not foul, Mr Carson, I'm not like you, but I'm not foul" would NEVER
secondly, from a storytelling perspective, the only 'problem' is that he used infected needles. did we forget that Thomas was a sergeant in the RAMC? he knows how to sterilise needles and how to recognise and treat infection. this also shifts the blame to Thomas himself for getting sick and implies that the conversion therapy itself is harmless (Dr Clarkson says it's just saline solution)
thirdly, it's not historically accurate. I'm not an expert but conversion therapy was not at all common in the 1920s, even Sigmund Freud was against it. hormone therapy and chemical castration were barely developing let alone available to the public (I can't imagine what else the 'treatment' was supposed to be). the only practices that I can find evidence of were psychoanalysis and electric shock therapy
Thomas also mentions that he did electric shock treatment - if you really want to make a point about homophobia in the 1920s (and make Thomas suffer as much as possible), show that instead. watching him be literally tortured for his sexuality would have been far more impactful than him just... looking sweaty for a few episodes
#I'm just shouting into the void#i just think that if you're going to make the only gay character constantly suffer it should at least be a compelling narrative#i have very similar thoughts about his plotline with jimmy. its stupid and out of character. Julian fellowes just wanted to punish him#for being gay without even giving him a chance at a happy relationship#i think sexually assaulting Jimmy is one of the only genuinely bad things that Thomas does and yet its the only one framed sympathetically#it's conflated with being gay generally and we're meant to pity him#you know what would have been a sympathetic narrative? if they were actually in a relationship and punished for an innocent love#and then thomas could still take the fall for it and go to prison and Jimmy would have to live with that guilt and be separated from him#which also would have been way more interesting than the bullshit anna and bates prison plot that dragged on way too long#ugh downton abbey could have been so good if the writer wasn't an old bigoted tory#downton abbey#thomas barrow
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I understand people being curious/excited about when you’ll release your comics but demanding anything from you is unfair and I can only imagine makes you feel unmotivated to continue. Thank you for all you do and props for maintaining your boundaries 🫶
Aw thanks doll ♥️
Luckily I feel like I’ve got a good sense between real life and internet life. And even though I’m online like all the time, I know how to prioritize real life’s demands, duties, and fun times.
Even if those comments are a bit annoying, I am really grateful that the vast majority of the folks who like my fanart are kind and gracious 🥰
I still don’t really understand how I get all this interaction (ty algorithm?) but making fanart is my favorite pastime and I’m glad there are fellow fans who appreciate it! It’s all very sweet. Makes this corner of the internet a happy place for me 🌷
I’m also totally addicted to seeing fanart of hazbin hotel and I love fanfiction, cosplays, and the like. Fandom is so fun, and it’s great to see people be creative. So I try not to pay much mind to the “not-fun and not-helpful” aspects 😂
#that being said#even tho I know how to prioritize irl over internet#doesn’t mean I’m GOOD AT IT HAHAHAHA#I have so much gotdamn homework to do#but whatever I know I can get it done#I’m like the opposite of all work and no play#which is why I’m such a poor mfcker#but it’s fine#I don’t have much financial ambitions anyway#and once I get my job with a pension#im good to go ham in the off hours haha#but first grad school ugh#I mean grad school is actually really lovely#demanding but lovely people and I’m learning a lot#again Im just a greedy gal who wants to draw gay demons all the time#anyway#time for breakfast
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warning this might be a nothing post i'm just a little emotional & rambling but like... i think a lot about hometown showdown and gay and not proud a lot. and i understand this was in the peak of YouTube's fuckery with Dan and disrupting his plans for DINOK so i understand there's like a tension behind a lot of what was ongoing. i also realize that YouTube-- more obviously with hometown showdown-- but generally had strong business rationale for wanting Phil to feature in these videos, with Dan & Phil being the duo of HS and Phil being there in gay and not proud (sorry the acronym for this looks ugly).
but man... i think a lot about how hometown showdown was just kind of a lot of dates. i've not seen the other ones but i hear a lot that they were way more competitive versus Dan and Phil were just casually exploring their hometowns together, showing pieces of themselves to the other. i think about all the dialogue that was cut (that I think was alluded to in WDAPTEO 2?)
and i think about like. the seismic Importance of Phil being in gay and not proud as like... Dan's safe space. the same way he's remote crisis manager, the same way he was part of WAD's pre & post show, the same way he filmed that haircut video basically to promo YWGTTN and Dan is leaving me to talk about WAD. the same way that Dan got a taxi to his place after his nightmare experience at the laundromat to do laundry because "for the first time since I was a tiny child, I actually felt safe."
and after the latest mukbang it's like... it's really insane to me how their personal relationship has continued despite the pressures they've faced as being a comedic influencer duo. the fact that they work as business partners but still have this relationship. the fact that even in these YouTube originals that Dan was resentful of at the time anyway you can still glowingly see how much they love each other. like Phil being in gay and not proud wasn't a cameo, it was a fucking love confession.
i dunno. this is something that's been talked about a Lot but i do think about it frequently. i don't tend to rewatch these specials a lot because Jesus Christ the editing really gets me, but like... idk. "you're next to me in my life," or whatever. 15 years have passed and Phil's still cheerleading for Dan, from his first YouTube video to his first solo tour. i dunno.
#astra.txt#dan and phil#phan#i've said this before but that was the part of basically i'm gay that i think helped me the most personally. or at least really affected me#the idea of meeting someone who made you feel safe. and for a while i kind of thought i had that and then i reflect and i'm like...#... no i shouldn't really settle. because it IS so important.#one person accepting you CAN make all the difference. and i'm so glad Dan was able to find that person#and also obviously that Phil has Dan because Dan loves and supports Phil a lot too.#hate when i'm overly emotional about these videos because i don't want to rewatch but i am like mentally compelled to#the fact that Dan has done a lot of genuinely impressive solo work and Phil is like right there being like#guys read this book! guys go see him on tour! 45 minute masterpiece!#it's dan's birthday lets get that to trend! like UGH.
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They are everything to me.
#hyperixating on THESE two is kinda painful. like wdym half the fandom doesnt like them. they are so awesome??? sickos...#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel charlie#charlie hazbin hotel#hazbin charlie#vaggie#hazbin hotel vaggie#vaggatha#hazbin vaggie#charlie x vaggie#vaggie x charlie#hazbin#chaggie#rainbowmoth#varlie#fallenstar#its always the wlw ships too. like wdym yall d ride mlm??? it be the 12 yr old girls too 😒 /hj#charlie ass? yes pls. also yes i gave charlie a tail. i always give random characters tails if i think they deserve it#i think..... i think im getting better at anatomy guys 😨 (im delulu)#definitely better than my first chaggie posts if yall remember that 😭 oh how i have improved for real... maybe ill make a improvement post#i jst wanted to draw ass bro. i know thats not how psnts work#i want tjem both to be so in love eith eachother that it makes me sick. genuinely please let them be such freaks rhat it makes ne bleed#also can i jst saw how annoying those shoulder pads are?? WHY DO ALL THE MEN + CHARLIE HAVE THEM. MAKE HER DIFFERENG SHES THE MC???#omg i just noticed it looks like shes grinding on her knee. ignore that. but maybe she is who knows?? 😝#dynamic pose test. i think its alroght but i still have stuff to improve... im practing 😈#ugh i just want more charlie being madly in love with Vaggie. not you guys. you guys are doing great mwa mwa /p but i mean the show! like#wheres charlie being lovey to vaggie?? shes literally the embodiment of love why cant she show idk... MORE to vaggie? i 💜 chaggie but... ☹️#gay people make me sick /j#yes. charlie IS lovey to Vaggie.. but.... idk its not to the life sacrificing extent like vaggie does? idk maybe i want fan service like 🤨#OH like charlie going demon mode for vaggie. FINALE DONT COUNT. she already was demon mode. i need vaggie almost DEAD and char swoops in id
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the thing about a potential brad romance arc too is like. straight or not i simply do not want that man happy. i don't want him to be in love with some random new person, man or woman, i want him to experience The Horrors
the Horrors of being in love with the world's most pathetic man of all time, david brittle-- [I AM REMOVED FROM THE STAGE BY A COMICALLY LARGE HOOK]
#mqposting#honestly im trying to imagine a non-david romance. i truly am#and most scenarios are just like. boring#like. ok so if it's a new person. what kind of person would it have to be#bc if it's Just Some Woman. or even Just Some Guy. like. idk what's interesting about that u know??#what does that say about brad other than oooh he is capable of love after all#like yeah we know that already#he went to prison for jo#and yeah that's platonic love but imho that doesn't matter?#it already shows brad's softer side#LIKE. who could possibly be more interesting than the characters we're already invested in#im not just being a fujoshi here i really do think him having a thing for david would be the most interesting choice#and the funniest!!!!!!#god. sorry for the rant#i was SUPPOSED to ship it IRONICALLY but HERE WE ARE#is this how destiel shippers felt#but at least castiel was canon gay. even if he did get sent to superhell#ugh. i hate my stupid baka life
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"and you kissed me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever" but it's luke to han
#in this household we support the idea of han being luke's gay awakening / first crush / first love that he never managed to let go of#UGH I HATE THEM SO MUCH I'M GONNA THROW UPPP#crys' star wars hours#star wars#luke skywalker#han solo#hanluke#skysolo
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Ugh but like Galinda being all embarrassed about her artwork even though it’s gorgeous and Elphaba framing all her paintings (even the ones she threw away because she thought they were bad). She wants everyone to know how talented her gf is 🥺
#The hc that Galinda secretly drew/painted Elphaba in her notebooks during the loathing period has such a grip on me I cannot tell you#Elphaba seeing the drawings of her and being shocked because nobodies ever drawn her that beautifully even if it’s by a girl she hates#UGH these doomed gay witches drive me insane I love them so much#wicked#gelphie#glinda x elphaba#galinda upland#elphaba thropp
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bro if astro's love is not blitzwing, then blitzwing HAS to be included in the comic being an absolute terror . okay. if the love is not blitzwinf and just some random dude to be funny, then you legally have to include blitzwing digging around in the garbage somewhere bcs hes heartbrocken abt fumbling the fat bitch
#AND IT'S 100% UNDERSTANDABLE#hes squishing squishies and being mad af#he didnt try breaking astro out even tho hes his only friend (theyre losers( (lovers) bcs hes petty & scorned#DO NOT FKING PLAY WITH ME RN#I WILL GWT MY GANG ( the astroblitz community ) ( like 3 ppl counting me )#GIVE ME GAYNESS. ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. GIVE ME MY FReAK#you either Make him GAY#or I WILL .#' but if his love is blitzwing then that means blitz is dead ' blitz was always bound to go to hell thats why astro loves him#we take whwt we can get#when transformers go low blitzwing goes low ER !!#astrotrain: im FREEE not any thanks to YOU#blitzwing: SHADDAP 😾❗️❗️ LETS JUST GO KILL EVERYONE ALREADY UGH ( transforms & a train d*ldo falls out his ass#astrotrain:#astrotrain: what was tha#transformers skybound#astrotrain#blitzwing
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20/10 stars little guy
#me (scrounging undetected autist whose ideal fashion sense is ''if i have to be seen at all: shrouded'') seeing encanto the other month.....#and on top of it all i LOVE slice of life. encanto being so focused on What It's About that there's so much of that + character / dynamic#also part of what i loved abt pixar luca. ppl like ''simple story but not a problem :)'' like YEAH thank god it's Also so slice of lifey#2021 what a year lol. though again i only Just saw encanto....tfw Studio Creative Control backs off a bit more than usual: Joy & Wonders#anyway i knew going in bruno wasn't an antagonist (fine if he was though b/c slay & b/c scapegoats can do whatever they want)#knew i'd love him b/c again Scapegoat shows up & i'm the Amazing Showstopping Totally Unique Never The Same gif on loop#but what a delight even beyond those expectations lol. love again how Focused the movie is on What It's About & Thee Points it makes#the Characters / Dynamics & the Metaphor & the plot stays right with all of that. the focus & importance re: thee scapegoats....#& bruno being disabled like whole layer of Yay Yay Yay spamming. that even when He's Back we're reminded he's not ''normal now'' or w/e#(i.e. presenting that as The Good Ending for the disabled outcast. vs just being embraced as part of the group again & accepted As He Is)#meanwhile was like hmm chat is there queercoding do we think? like is he queer: Yes. but is there coding? hmm#sure isn't cishet coded though. but i was also having the thought like fellas is it gay to [higher tenor tessitura or w/e] lol#made me go ''do i know this voice? ok do i know this name / face / actor? (i have never seen anything ever / bad w/names/faces/voices)''#indeed was like yeah haven't seen this; heard of this; seen it once ages ago no way i remember more than like 0.6 details#then from ''ohh haha I'm A Mammal That Cares....yeah i hear that'' to ''omg CHI-CHI RODRIGUEZ???? ;;0;;'' waaah fantastic revelation lmao#also the way Literal Future Seer ability was externalized to make it more wrangleable for plot is so impressive & fun & excellent#got a lot of [i like this thing i saw a lot] i got to say....guess i can do that w/the sideblog i made for one drawing i made last night#encanto 2021#bruno madrigal#also the way bruno is so Nervous + Hiding / Bold + Big Personality like yes ha ha ha Yes....tamped down as ''too much'' experience#also the [stuttering stumbling muttering mumbling] line: i fr nigh wept upon going back over a moment like what am i hearing here?#& realizing the answer was: it's bruno quietly stuttering a moment during this one line (& then (& then (& then)) i saw you) ;;;mm;;;#hang onnn....the first scapegoat who's driven off being Disabled is so real so ;m; that again they're like so he got Weirder; Okay ;;m;;#that we get jorge thumbs up nobody having an Aside to be like [ugh; this guy] or Anything. augh always have too much to say for 30 tags#fabric drape there sure not accurate but i was like okay if i try to really reference that i'm not getting this done tonight
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Thinking about meeting with my tutor after their class to talk about my performance, my direction in life and my aspirations and goals. Only taking it half seriously as i take everything, their genuine concern and guidance met with avoidance more than dismissal, but still frustrating for them. They tell me im a smart man, with a potential they would hate to see me waste because of apathy. I listen to placate them more than anything else. When they say that it would benefit me to plan for my future, to find my passion and dedicate myself to it, i scoff lightly, breaking eye contact and smiling a little as i brush off their earnest pleading with a teasing "yeah, whatever dad." When i look back after a beat, their face has changed. The stillness and silence in the room suddenly tight with tension as i realise they didn't brush that one off. They look me up and down with a casual sort of surveyance as i break eye contact again, swallowing thickly as i try and fail to keep my breathing steady. "Look at me." Their voice is smooth and even. My obedience is instant. They speak more concisely now, more deliberate. As they continue I'm hanging on their every word, as if under a spell, nodding gently in answer to any questions, otherwise still and rapt. We sit in silence for a few moments. "Sometimes," they begin, slow and calm, "a person will need more guidance than a classroom allows." My heart is beating so hard against my chest im sure they can hear it. "If you would let me, i want to give that to you." Im dizzy. I feel myself nodding quickly. "Speak up." Its a gentle correction, but i feel like i'm on fire. "Yes."
"Yes, Daddy." They correct.
"Y-yes. Yes, Daddy." We sit in the silence again, me firmly in their grip, waiting on their command.
#hhhh i want someone to SEE ME!!!! RAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#imagine being so lost and begging for direction with your every action that it should be so fucking obvious you need guudance#and no one does anything!! so ready to give everything if only someone asked!!!!!!#i want someone to ask for my obedience and see that its given immediately and entirely. i want someone to take this weight from me#make the only task i have to be following your guidance. make it come from a place of love. call me a good fucking boy!!!!!#UGH!!!!!!#GOD#anyway. gay teacher becoming gay daddy. wahoo yippee.#i think this needs an extra part i was gonna write about them twisting their chair to their side and ordering me to kneel there#which i would with quiet obedience. ofc. and they would gently cup my face in their hand and say 'good boy'#to which i would gasp a little and start to cry softly with relief#because....finally.#they would wipe the tears gently with both thumbs and then stand#their arousal obvious now but its secondary. they hold out both hands and i take them as they pull me to my feet.#want them to say that i'm going home with them tonight. its what we both want. so badly. but the way it was a statement and not a question#makes my cock throb as i sink a little further into my obedience.#want them to gently squeeze my hands as they smile softly before letting go to collect their things#and maybe even mine#moving between me and the door and holding out a hand#which i take happily#GOD.#anyways lmfao.#talky
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Not to be sincere on main but honestly just watching Nick and his friends asserting his bisexuality every time someone assumed he was gay just... Like it wasn't just "oh well I'm with a boy so I'm basically gay, nevermind it's basically the same thing" it was "this part of my identity is important no matter who I'm dating, so I am going to make that distinction known, I am going to correct you when you make that assumption, you don't get to reduce me to 'one or the other'" and it made my bisexual heart very happy :)
#cause like i just argh#there's a difference between using gay as a sort of umbrella term (like 'youre being gay carry on' or my url for example)#there's a difference between that and not even acknowledging your bisexuality#like people just want to ignore it because they think it's 'too straight' and 'oh well you're in a gay relationship so it doesn't matter'#and it fucking DOES and ugh i just love this show#i don't think i could've anticipated how much seeing that would mean to me#Heartstopper#heartstopper 2#heartstopper tv#heartstopper season 2#Heartstopper spoilers#i am in my feels tonight after watching this masterpiece of a show pls excuse me
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Return of the bkdk in-correct quotes,
from a anime world far, far away
Izuku: Wow, they really hate us. Katsuki: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic. Izuku: But we’re not gay, Kachann. Katsuki: Izuku: Katsuki: We’re not?
Izuku: Relationships should be 50/50. Kachann cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.
Katsuki: I'm trash. Izuku: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you? Katsuki: Katsuki: You smooth motherfucker. Katsuki: And yes it does.
Izuku is crying after a breakup Katsuki: There there, Izuku. Izuku, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my room? Katsuki: Great question—
Izuku: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Katsuki: Okay. Izuku: And make out during the scary parts. Katsuki: Th- Katsuki: The scary parts. Katsuki: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Izuku: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. Katsuki: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. Izuku: I said within reason, Kachann. How about I murder that guy? Katsuki: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? Izuku: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?
#mha bkdk#mha#bnha#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya#my hero academia#bkdk#bakudeku#ugh yes kachann Sharkboy and Lavagirl is terrifying#i love all of class A especially Izuku being horrible at self care#and then katsuki (being the only one who ca take care of himself) is just so fed up with it#and then katsuki actually takes him up on the murder and Izuku can't do that either#i love my lil disaster gays#bkdk incorrect quotes#this was made with the incorrect quotes generator
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i desperately need a pretty boy to cradle me in his arms and hug me in close to his chest, rubbing my back and combing his hand thru my hair as he just helps me calm down. he's patient and he's kind and he understands that sometimes i just need a moment to shut down and restart. i need to just have a moment with someone who gets me, someone who lets me be upset and doesn't get angry with me. i need someone to just. take care of me. im so incredibly tired and im overwhelmed and stressed out and god please just hold me and let me know i can be safe with u.
#im overstimulated and when i get overstimulated i get very sensitive and sleepy and i wanna cry and just be held#god i fuckin. ugh. im.#im so. so sensitive. and its coming back to kill me.#im just gonna think abt being in love with someone willing to take care of me when i need it#mlm#mlm yearning#mlm post#mlm love#gay mlm#trans mlm#mlm blog#t4t#mlm thoughts#t4t yearning
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I need more skip x norman content asap and I'm not talented enough to make my own. Somebody please heed my call.
#please one of my favorite things about them is the way skip is truly the only one who understands normans pain#zac played skip learning about his backstory so well#like skip kept being the ONLY ONE to truly humanize and empathize with norman#the idea that in symbiosis hes just able to get him? UGH MY FAVORITE#thats not even getting into the fact that their stories truly parallel each other#being used as nothing more then a pawn? being betrayed by someone you should have been able to trust? being an outcast???#GIVE ME MORE!!! PLEASE!!!#praying that if they ever make a starstruck odyssey season 2 taht we get more of them#praying to zac and brennan taht they make skip and normans relationship at least a little bit gay#and protective#god i love when they get protective over each other#norman x skip#skip x norman#valdrinorman#skipperskip#norman skipper takamori#norman takamori#skip takamori#prince valdrinor#d20 starstruck#starstruck odyssey#a starstruck odyssey#dimension 20
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the bg3 fanbase is funny as fuck in a bad way for primarily shipping gale, who is the most garrulous man you can imagine, with astarion, whom gale goes "uh 😐 not really looking to talk with you man" at when prompted for conversation, and not with wyll, whose party admission gets a "gale approves" and then they proceed to compliment each other 24/7.
update: i think ship wars are stupid as fuck + this is about something very different. a very notable problem not just among the general bg3 and d&d fan circles but among certain fans of this sort of fantasy genre as a whole.
#succ speaks#gale also gets approval for demanding more than apologies from astarion when meeting him. and for saying bringing him was a mistake#also disapproval for accepting astarion's apologies. and for saying you trust him. like he HATES this cunt.#whereas wyll just BEING there gets gale a 'hehe <3 yay let's help the tieflings for him'#you also get gale approval for recruiting lae'zel and karlach! literally for just doing that!! astarion is the only one who DOESN'T#the baldur's gate 3 fanbase has such the fandom first-two-whiteboys shipping brain rot spell on them plus an ignore wyll at all costs curse#get well soon like honestly this is so sad and hasn't let up since ea#which is obvious in the way the writers treated astarion with notable favor and ignored will in story development since ea#anyways. gale is super funny about being annoying so i love him for it. he's like me in that way i think. his dumbass resurrection ritual.#idk the way wyll has clear story parallels with EVERY origin character (+ halsin!) and isn't even on the ship podium is a bit hashtag irkin#i've gone into depth about that with some real life besties but that'd be like. another post or a long addition to this one.#ugh.#balding gay tree
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