#ugggh idk
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Has anyone done boxe? Can someone tell me about their experience?
#i wanted to try kick boxing but very often i have english lessons too close to kick boxing lessons?#while boxe has much more lessons#but i'm afraid i'll be surrounded by super scary jacked men#i mean#i know there are women that do boxe too#but that's just my fear okay?#i also should buy gym shoes and i don't want to spend that extra money#while i could do kick boxing barefeet#ugggh idk#i just want to fight#and i have a lot of free time#but the fact that my english lessons vary every week is just a mess#emma asks#emma and her stupid vent
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EMOREL MENTIONED ❗❗❗❗💔🖤🫀🦇🩸
"I was running out of ideas when I remembered... 'Hey, there's an emo Orel!' (well, kind of, half and half?) All this while listening to "Cemetery Drive" (by MCR).
And then... I wanted to try some new clothes on him... it all went a bit mental, oh god.
#orel puppington#teen orel#moral orel#moral orel fanart#art#emo#idk??#I think some of it is based on me#you know.#I really don't like Paramore#haha.#OREL WOULD TOTALLY LISTEN TO PUNK SONGS UGGGH!#Oh#and Escape the Fate (they were kinda famous in the early 2000s).“#my weezer reaction to that😦#definitivamente diría el “mamá no es solo una etapa”#moral orel oc#Sheol speakwell
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The majority have voted that he shall have no stache... if you agree or disagree tell me why?
#my oc#bird man#my art#sketches#idk what the fuck this guys name is yet.. im working on it#ugggh naming haaaard whyyyyy.. this pobably why i will never have kids.. id suck at names and being parent...
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Mariah has finally been nominated to be inducted into the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame !! 🥹
vote for her in the fan vote at this link !!
#mariah carey#singer#2020s#UGGGH FINALLY#SHE DESERVES#LIKE …#idk if the fan vote = induction but she’s lagging behind a bit 😭
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George holding onto the hem of his shirt ☹️☹️
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“Behavioral Issues”
Aaaa… got some Reese lore here. I’ve been thinking about and working on his background, and his life was pretty rough for a while. I’m just going to dump everything I’ve thought up so far. Warning, it’s a bit to read, and there’s very mild mentions of abuse.
He’s supposed to be 8 or 9 here, and his life at home up to this point isn’t good. His father was abusive to him and his mother. His mother would often deter and take a lot of it, trying to protect him from the brunt of it. All the while Reese badly wished he could be the one protecting his mom and standing up to his father.
So at school, whenever he saw kids being a bully to others, it would remind him of his father and he’d lash out and get into a fight with them to try and help the kid that was getting bullied. This ended up with many detentions (which is where he is in the picture above, detention) and other related problems.
Eventually, after one event where he gets hurt pretty badly due to his father, his mother finally decides they need to separate and her and Reese need to go.
They end up moving in with his mother’s parents, and things slowly take a turn for the better. He finds outlets like music, learning the drums, and boxing/exercising. And most importantly, gets some counseling.
His teen years is when his punk rock phase began, where he comes off as somewhat aloof and “scary”.
That’s when Donald comes into the picture. Donald ends up getting into a bit of trouble with some kids harassing him, and Reese comes and breaks it up, but avoids being physical this time. At this time in Reese’s life, he doesn’t fight like he used to unless it’s for defense, but he does step in and stop things if he sees something going on. Donald thanks him, but not much else happens between the two of them afterward.
That is until Donald one day overhears that Reese is having a real hard time with school, and, remembering what he did, decides to help him out by offering to be his tutor so he can improve his failing grades. During that time they become good friends, and it’s one of the things that really make a big change in Reese’s life, with him ending up being able to graduate thinks to Donald.
Annnd that’s pretty much it for Reese! Now with him being older, it could be hard to tell he had such a hard upbringing. He’s improved a lot, but he still has his struggles. He’s a lot more friendly and outgoing now, but he still has a hard time connecting with people and picking up on certain social cues. As well as him just like… naturally being a absentminded, thickheaded goof most of the time, as I’ve mentioned about him before lol. Which has nothing to do with his past really, just who he is as a person in general.
His story still needs a lot of polish and tweaking, and there’s some things about him I just haven’t figured out at all yet, but this is a rough concept of it so far. Thank you for taking the time to read all of this! 💙
#my art#my ocs#original character#Reese#I feel like I have his story and everything more organized in my head#but typing it out is hard and doesn’t look as good...#Idk#ugggh#yes I did go back and edit this and make a change to his hair#i changed my mind about him having it naturally#Shhhhh you saw nothing
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i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/
#stop it......#i don't want to go back but this is the last sick day i can reasonably take#i probably should've gone back today but i told them when i was still feeling worse that i wasn't coming in.......#ohhhh i dread going in tomorrow so much. i don't even dislike this job i just hate being somewhere everyday#each day feeling its meaninglessness...... my meaninglessness in the space.......... the repetition and redundancy#selling people who don't need to be there things that they don't need#standing all day long just fucking bored#hoping that enough has happened since i've been gone that people can fill me in#ugggh because it's soooo boring but stressful to have to generate conversation with the same people every day#when nothing new ever happens#and i get sick of everybody even the people that i like and i don't really think anybody likes me that much either#i guess i felt this when i worked there part time but because i only had to be there part time it wasn't this constant gnawing feeling#and they didn't have me in the shop all the time....... this schedule is fucking killing me#i walk there i stand all day and i walk home#that's one of the reasons i haven't come back in yet - i was so dizzy and nauseous that the idea of standing all day was like.#i obviously can't fucking do that even if i would otherwise feel well enough to come in#if i had a sitting job then it wouldn't matter if i was a little dizzy#but getting back and forth to work and then standing for 8 hours. even when i'm feeling well it's kind of a lot#idk i guess i'm pretty unhappy with this job and where i am in life etc but i can't quit rn because what else would i do#there's literally job of this type that is going to pay as well and have good benefits#and i'm not qualified yet for the type of work i hope to do in the future#so i just gotta wait it out but it feels like. endless.#sigh anyway i'm just lazy lol#all this is to say. stop putting ads for my workplace on my dash lol i don't need to see all that
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I’m not big on crossover ships but there’s just something abt Spencer Reid and Sam Winchester being shipped that takes my heart
#idk why it just ugggh them together is just so cute and angsty#not to mention mixing my two fav shows
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Do you get that moment when you got a super cool comic / oneshot idea (bloodborne related of course) but you’re not sure you have the skills to do it and do it justice?
#if only i could draw better and easly too#i have the idea since a while but i’m hype to do it for real but i’m not sure it would look great i only have a small drawing journal 🥲#and well idk it will be better in comic but ugggh#yes first hunter depression idea that’s all i’m saying and the healing church being shitty
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more thoughts about that buut it's all going in the tags.
#like it's the. it's. fuck it's just so confusing to just. like a few times a year or whatever to have Those Feelings all of a sudden and#they're like. extremely overwhelming and confusing because you're not used to it and it's literally all consuming#and then it's just. nope that's over now there's none of that again.#and it's never predictable it's never consistent it just sneaks up out of nowhere and okay fuck I guess I'm Attached to this person now#like it's. idk it's like going through puberty (or what that sounds like anyway?) again and again#like it's suddenly just there#but it's weird and it feels bad because. it's just not there normally and that must mean it's bad and why is it happening now#like. ugggh if it was all the time or never I would be ok with it I would get used to it probably but it's just. not.#and I know I'm not normal and I'm obsessive and repressed and I've got so so many issues about all this shit but#fuck it's just. a lot#need to turn my brain off and stop thinking or I'm gonna go insane#personal
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Errol revamp
#insect#insect oc#1930s style#1930s toon#Rubberhose#insecta#errol#tscoph#the strange case of pine hollow#ugggh i've got a sore throat and don't feel well 🤒#but at least i got this guy done! i want to edit syril (and maybe felix idk) next
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it might just be bc it's late and i get sad sometimes when it's late but i'm sad i like feeel soooo bad about several things and i feel like i want to cry but i can't ughh idk...
#just gonna like write out my problems in the tags bc that like helps me process them 👍#first of i feel like i can't connect well with people at all#especially with people in school.. there are some people i am fine with i can like talk with them fine and feel a connection#but then like with others i just feel..so out of touch with them idk#i just feel like they don't want to be around me anymore and i'm just some annoying guy that is there#but like i know that isn't true (hopefully)#ugggh and then like i go back to thinking they do actually not like me and yeah just a whole loop going on#after i get tired of thinking about that i think about school in general and start getting stressed about it#even though i am doing alright it's idk..#it;s just i'm like thinking of stuff that happens later through the school year and thinking i want things to get finished quickly#i like want to get my paintings and projects done already but i gotta think and take my time and shit!#i want it done now so i won't have to do it anymore even though i do like working on them#when i work on something i want to like sit down and work on it till it's done#which is kind of a not good habit to have i know i've been trying to like try to get rid of it#or like minimize it#ok i'm like reading over these and like. i think it's bc i might be neurodivergent.#i keep forgetting i got a high score in that autism test...hmmm#anyway also stressed about this camping trip for school that happens next week#1) my mom keeps nagging me about how i am physically weak to like go camping but still wants me to go to it#2) we have to be in groups and you don't like get assigned one you have to like just form it... which like#if you've read above i am having trouble with people and connecting hence i haven't found a group yet orz...#and that's like it for that.#school is just stressing a bit and i don't want that....#last problem is like kind of dumb but like my youtube feed has sucky videos i don't want to watch and i haaaaate it.#it's like it doesn't get me at all.....whatever...#ok i think that's like enough...feel a bit better laying it all out#still feel those things but like doing this made me feel better feeling this way and understand them#feeling things is good and alright 👍
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does it still count as improvement if i wanna live sometimes?
#cicisays#idk if this is a vent or not#my brian is just yelling at me#like okay so i still feel most apathetic towards being alive#but at leats there's soemthing sometimes#goddamn why can't you just be happy with what you have bitch??#ugggh#liek still don't care if i don't wake up tomorrow most of the time#hope those times whjere i do care mean something
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hmmm what if i randomly texted my friend and asked her if she'd go get a piercing w me
#i neeeed to change something abt my appearance i'm feeling trapped and bored and ugggh#and i don't even have my ears pierced but idk i feel like it'd be cool#and also stupid and i might regret it but!! i'm nineteen!! i can do sth stupid i might regret for once!!#and my friend said she'd go w me if i ever want to so i just?? need to ask her#but decisions...#noah's stuff
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i dont know much about islam so im sorry if i say anything wrong, but im a huge nerd for history and culture and religion and just wanted to let some thoughts out.
I once heard about there being rules for regular hand washing, and thats super fucking cool. religion in general is used as a means of union and dissemination of guidelines without borders, and a rule like this for sure saved the health of so many people throughout the centuries and also food safety. European customs varied throughout the centuries but it was needed illuminism and microbiology for eventually good hand washing and hygiene habits to be common. my country was invaded by a lot of diferent people (before we then did that to half the world, sigh) and one of our invaders were muslim caliphates, and in history lesson something that is always highlighted is that this population had a great number of scientists and doctors with great knowledge. What I mean is when someone or a population learns or notices something like regular hand washing is beneficial to health for example, it can be hard to promote this habit with the general population, but if it is a religious practice, it can make so many people across borders pay attention, and then in this case their health and consenquently quality of life improves! Thats super fucking cool!
now, another thing. since a kid ive always had a lot of respect for nature and what provides our food. ive developed some personal morals/opinions/personal guidelines about meat in particular. Im writing a fanfic and a character grew up muslim so i went to research some halal food habits to make sure i didnt get anything wrong and wow!!! the rules for the handling of cattle and meat is almost a 1 to 1 match to what i personally think!! (since im not religious, i just dont have a personal rule about needing to say anything specific, but i think thats a good gesture anyway). Thats so cool I was so happy to read that. I love that at least somewhere, some people have been treating animals with respect, giving them a good quality of life, and at the moment of slaughter making it as quick and painless as possible, and show respect and care for the animal, the life it had, the death happening, their sacrifice and the sustenance and materials theyre providing. thats really nice, it made me very happy.
also curious the traditional way of slaughtering and draining the blood of the animals is exactly the same here in portugal, but we do use the blood for sausages and rice and other things instead of just not using it. but like same guidelines!! quick and as painless as possible.
Then that also made me think of something else. Nowadays we have laws and i think its illegal in my country to kill an animal outside of a slaughterhouse, im not sure, but thats awfull in my opinion. yes it makes sense for health regulation and i wouldnt want unsupervised meat being sold, but thats an extremely stressfull environment both for the workers and the animals. if the meat industry could take a step back, a deep breath, and make the process slower, cleaner and more confortable for the animal itd be great
#should i tag this with halal or something like that? im just rambling about what ive learned im not adding anything new or discussing so idk#also my country has a law about disposing dead animals that are not for consumption and ugggh it has affected the carrion birds habits and#population :( there was a post about it around here a while back#im not even from the area they were most common in but my parents said when something like that happened there were designated spots in eac#village/forest to go and leave the carcass at so the wild animals could make use of it#thats so cool but now illegal#like sky burials but for animals#it makes total sense to me for that to be a practice#we're a part of nature not apart from it#if theres the chance to keep the cycles going and give back then lets do it#i dont think the scavenger/carrion animals becoming dependent on humans would be a real concern i think they manage fine#just an extra and theres no waste of anything that way
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Does anyone know how to deal with worries that my partner won’t love me after I start medically transitioning?
#he’s always assured me that it’s my decision and he’ll support me and always love me#but I’m scared that won’t be the case#I’m so scared that I’ll lose his love#and become unloveable and disgusting to him#internalized transphobia#trans#transgender#transmasc#nonbinary#idk it’s probably just something I need to deal with#but I’m not sure how to get myself to believe him#and I feel so so upset with myself that I couldn’t just be a pretty girl#ugggh I’m so sick of myself#tw vent
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