#u should ask me about this au btw i am so very normal (LYING) (I NEED AN EXCUSE TO INFODUMP)

[stitchwraith-stingers]

wc au leaders who fucking cares at this point

[undercoverangell]

thinking about pok lives and goes on spring break au heres everything in my brain atm

Pok gets enough money working for the government to get a new house so they no longer live in an apartment and instead are in like a nice lil 2 bedroom 2 bathroom house and the bad kids come over freshman year bc riz is like "oh my dad should know something about these palimpsets i feel like he'd know about them" and he's not of much use but like. to give yall some perspective on how i imagine pok in this au he's like this goblin w huge scars covering him who is like?? kinda athletic?? and he is also still a spy and still goes on missions so when they first meet him hes in this fairly nice house in like a button up and cardigan w plaid pants and has his hair like tied back (bc i think he would grow it out) in a low ponytail drinking coffee. and they've never met Riz's dad but suddenly just everything about Riz makes sense this guy is his fucking dad?? and he works for the government as an accountant?? dude this guy is cool as hell wtf.

He's just very eloquently spoken and seems to know a lot about things accountants shouldn't care about (why did riz send us to his accountant dad to look at a palimpsest why would his dad know anything about this?) and so thus begins the convincing riz who knows what his dad does that his dad is in the mafia.

also doesnt help that they do have a thing in the gukgak household about bringing new people directly to the house bc obviously pok does have a bunch of like secret rooms and drawers in the home and so the very first thing he says around them is "Kid you know how i feel about strangers in the home" and riz just goes "yeah yeah sorry i know we can meet at Basrar's or something next time-" "okay well im assuming its an emergency or something important if you brought 5 people over that i've never even met so what's up?" and its immediately weird bc... wtf.. hi ig??

"dude like why is he so like ..... that. like?? dude hes not an accountant i know that at least." "guys my dad is just some dude who works in accounting hes not a member of the mafia" "the ball im so sorry your dad has been lying to you he is a member of the mafia. does your mom know?" "i dont know?? probably??" "poor woman..." "oh my god"

theyre all so confused as to why he is so casual not knowing that like since he was 13 riz has known his dad is a spy and does missions and stuff and everytime they see pok literally just getting a coffee they confront him immediately even if riz is there

"so mr.ball....whats in that coffee???"

"vanilla. some cream and milk."

"theres no mafia secrets????"

"no. i got it with two shots of espresso."

"....weird....."

"if you want me to buy you a coffee you can just ask like a normal person."

"i dont need your MAFIA COFFEE....."

"okay, the coffee here is really good though."

".....maybe i would like just a small coffee with two shots of vanilla."

**hands them 10 bucks** "go ahead."

obv pok cant just tell his sons friends he barely knows that hes a spy so he just continually insists that he "works for the department of foreign affairs as an accountant. i work in accounting kids. thats it." and they all get it HORRIBLY WRONG and are like "oh yeah kalvaxis rlly wanted to eat an accountant JUST SAY UR A MEMBER OF THE MAFIA AND GO KINDA SUSPICIOUS THATS UR WIFES A COP ARE U TRYING TO MANAGE THE POWER SYSTEM SO U CAN GET AWAY W UR CRIMES???" and he just straight up "....YEAH IM A MEMBER OF THE MAFIA! YEAH U GOT IT RIGHT. IM A MEMBER OF THE MAFIA." and riz finds it fucking hilarious bc as hes busting out laughing his dad is going "riz the mafia is serious business u know this idk why ur laughing about it : (" and the bad kids think theyve cracked the case!! theyve done it!! (they have not!)

pok and garthy know eachother very well bc pok has been sent on numerous missions to Leviathan and so there's like little hints as to what pok does "oh you're still working for the department of foreign affairs! you been moved out of accounting yet?" and the bad kids are like "garthy he works for the mafia. sorry we had to break it to you...." and garthy who knows for a fact pok is not in the mafia just goes "....oh?? the mafia?? that's new! i cant imagine the wife likes that very much!"

Pok and Riz have a little moment in Leviathan where they just sit and talk and Pok assures Riz that he's cool and his friends like him and that he wouldve kill to be as cool as riz is when he was his age. Riz falls asleep on Pok and his dad is just glad hes getting some rest. he also sees the tattoos and goes "if your mom asks you got those when i was asleep and i didnt know."

He absolutely hates fallinel but hes been there on so many missions he is just used to high elves and their bs. "Ah.... Pook GikGuk..." "Mhmm. you got it right buddy." While there he just constantly looks so done with just about everything bc he has seen this place so many times there is like no "ooo new place!" value in it is literally just "yep. high elves and their high elven shit." he tells riz if he ever becomes a spy (which he definitely would btw i will die on the secret agent riz hill) to just. get used to this bc he is going to have to deal with this a lot.

In the nightmare forest he finally is like "guys im not apart of the mafia im a spy. i dont work in accounting lol u think my wife would marry some fucking accountant when shes as cool as she is??" and they're like "???? but... u admitted... u were in the mafia.. why would u lie..." "im a spy i literally lie for a living also i barely knew you guys except when you would come over to our house sometimes and stare at me suspiciously while I scrolled through twitter on my laptop" "MAYBE U WERE LOOKING AT UR MAFIA MEMBERS TWITTER" "WHY ON EARTH WOULD MAFIA MEMBERS HAVE TWITTER" "I DONT KNOW?? THEY WANNA LOOK AT MEMES!"

everything for this au is under the "pok lives au" tag bc i have. so many ideas. i am more than willing to take drawing ideas for this please ask me about this au (srs)