#u should DM me

[daydadahlias]

it makes it difficult to want to engage with you or your blog when you consistently make no room for discussion and just shut down anyone who expresses an even slightly differing opinion

You would have hated me so bad in 2021 oof.

Hello pookie!! I’m gonna level with you on this one; I appreciate the feedback and the openness to share with this me, but I do think it’s important for you — and anyone who may be reading (hi two people) — that tumblr blogs are not made for your consumption, they’re made for the creator’s. 

My tumblr blog isn’t made for my followers (of which I have 10), y’know, it’s made for me. Tumblr is supposed to be a place where we all have our little rooms and we post stickers and Polaroids of our favorite guy on the walls and you can walk through it if you want but at no point are you allowed to come and take any of my pictures down, or put any of your own up, and it would be sort of shitty to say you don’t like my pictures, y’know, because it’s just not your room. 

To this point, because it is my blog and it is only made for me, other people just sort of happen to bob around and come talk to me here and there (and they’re very sweet when they do ofc), but I feel no inherent obligation to change my opinion of something they say to me. Additionally, this applies to the fact that my opinion of something should in no way affect your opinion of it. Because my opinion simply does not matter. I’m a 21 yo 5sos blogger, who gives a shit what I have to say about something?

Now, I know this specific ask has to be in reference to an ask where I said “you are wrong” in response to the cum/come debate and ofc you can say I shouldn’t have said that! That was mean of me! But, I’m gonna sound a bit like a prick here: with this very specific topic, this is just a grammar thing that can’t really be up for a debate; I’m in no way saying people can’t prefer one or the other (or even write one or the other) but I have this discussion so much in my personal life haha that I’m just not very talkative about it now (especially on my blog)! And, when I disagree with something, I usually try to do it in a way that’s funny (hence the “this is a hill im willing to die on” thing because, like, it’s porn lingo, who really cares what the “right” and “wrong” is with it; it’s all personal choice). Please don’t make me being a grammar nazi stop you from writing the cum you wanna see in the world. 

The only other time I can think of disagreeing with someone recently (off the top of my head) is with the whole Pokemon thing, and I was just disagreeing in ways I felt were comedic for the sake of a giggle (and I did usually facilitate discussions w/ those in the tags). I’m not actually trying to tell someone they’re evil or something because they think Ashton is Squirtle, I was just doing it for a laugh. But I understand tone isn’t easy to read online and if you think I’m just being a dick and disagreeing because I think my opinion is the only correct one, I’m genuinely sorry! That’s not how I mean to come across. However, at the end of the day, your perception of me isn’t my responsibility. 

Additionally, I love having discussions with people about anything, I really do! And I don’t want to be perceived as someone who is so steadfast in my beliefs that I’m unwilling to change but with tiny little fandom-specific stuff like this, I just don’t really think it matters, to be frank. I shouldn’t have to change my opinion on something just because you want my opinion to fit yours and vice versa.

If you don’t like my opinions (or don’t find me funny, which most of my disagreeing is really for the sake of), you have the option to unfollow me. Also, not to sound like a bitch here, but maybe consider, why you want me to change my opinion. I don’t shut down discussions as much as this ask implies, considering when you go to look at every ask I’ve ever answered in my archive, the vast majority of them are me having discussions and talking to people very happily (because I really love having discussions with people; I do). 

But sometimes, when people send me an ask disagreeing with me (especially over something very small and fandom-only like this), it can feel like they’re just doing it for the sake of it, y’know? Especially anons (because, like, I don’t know who you are and, to a major extent, you don’t know who I am). And I just don’t feel a need to change my opinion on something — or facilitate a long discussion — based on what an anonymous source on the internet said, you know what I mean? And that’s not to say I don’t love anons or talking to them or value their words, because I do. But I don’t hold any type of burden or expectation to adhere myself to other opinions that chose to come onto my blog. 

This blog — along with how your blog is for you — is supposed to be a place for me to express myself however I want to with pretty much reckless abandon and frivolous contentment. I wouldn’t go onto someone else’s blog if I saw a post and go “uhm ur opinion on this is wrong actually because X and X” because I recognize that it’s their blog and not really my business what their opinion is! Especially if it’s over something minor like cum vs. come. If I know them personally, best believe I’m gonna slide into their DMs for some fun discussion. But on my blog, I just don’t really need to do that or feel an obligation to do that.

(Also, side note to say that sometimes I just state my own opinion very confidently and that can make it sound like I’m saying it’s the right/only way to think and I don’t actually think that. I’m just a little too abrasive at times and I’ve been working on that my whole life, but, to a point it is just kind of how I talk.)

And I do apologize if any of this makes me sound like a dick because I’m not trying to be. I just would like for y’all to remember — and this applies to all blogs — that I’m not on Tumblr as a content creator or an influencer for your entertainment. I’m here on Tumblr as Jess to post about Ashton Irwin’s titties. And my opinion really just doesn’t matter that much. 

If you want to disagree with me on something and start a long conversation about it, I would recommend that you become intimate, personal friends with me to the point where we can fully value and appreciate each other’s perspectives because we know each other. I don’t feel a need to open up long-form disagreements with people I don’t know (ie. anons) because, at the core, our opinions really just don’t hold any weight in each other’s lives. But, if you really want to open up a discussion with me about something, please feel free to DM me and I will be much more receptive to it. 

And this answer is really long! Sorry! But I hope I hit all the talking points. Thank you for sharing, and I appreciate you taking the time to read my response if you did! I had Chatgpt write this whole thing <3 that’s a joke.

[909th]

5, 12, 17.

i’m in love with u

[starryarts]

they'll find each other again, eventually

[inkskinned]

im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.

[desire-mona]

we as a society really should've never let rsl dress himself

[unluckyprime]

how about it guys . how we feeling today

[necrophiliak]

[camzverse]

uh uh for the character art ask thingy, maybe Cassie + 🗡️? Only if you want to ofc!! :3

🗡: draw a character as if they were in a rpg/dnd character

RIP CASSIE U WOULDVE LOVED BEING A DRUID

[vinylattes]

bill is to ford and ford is to fiddleford what armand is to daniel and daniel is to louis

[noctilin]

EDIT FEB 3 2024: PRINTS AND CHARMS HAVE ARRIVED AND CHIP HAS BEGUN SHIPPING ORDERS OUT!! please watch your emails <33 if you need the tracking # feel free to message either of us with your order #!! thank you once again!!!

----

i forgot to mention here but we closed the store last night!!! thank you to everyone who supported both by spreading the word and buying something from us!!!

stay tuned to mine and chips updates as we work on the orders!! thank you again and i'm super excited for everyone to receive their merch!! <333!

[w1n3bunny]

chat can u infodump abt phinjeet im intreuged <- hasnt watched pnf but probably should

* UR GIVING ME A FREE PASS TO TALK ABOUT THOZE FREAKZ TOBY ?!??!! I OWE U MY LIFE (sorry this took a while to answer i need time to gather and properly express my thoughtz GAH (also excuze the poor quality of my screenshotz im on a budget))

* this iznt going to be coherent but HERE WE GO

* so a big part of what compelz me about their dynamic iz the fact that theyre essentially on the same level/wavelength , while ofc phineas iz more adventurous and baljeet iz more anxious , theyre equally intelligent (NEEEERRRRDDZZ) and can speak the same nerdy language and truly listen to each other (smth i cant alwayz say for their more popular pairingz with other characterz WGAT WHO SAID THAT WHO SAID THAT)

* i lov when theyre in sync !!!!! i lov when they get each other !!!!!!!! they sincerely care about each otherz interestz becauze they hav Shared interestz !!!!!!!!!!!!

* they hav a shared interest in sci-fi , theyre both big fanz of an in-universe show called space adventure n therez an episode where they go to a sci-fi convention in space adventure cozplay , tho baljeet iz shown to hav a more Persistent interest in it . in candace against the universe he repeatedly triez to uze thingz that happen in space adventure az solutionz to the gangz space related problemz , even against hiz own better judgement and understanding of science , somtimez veering into just straight up infodumping territory . this pretty much alwayz endz poorly lol , ig hyperfixation beatz logic . mood

* (HEZ LITERALLY ME)

* at the end phineas makez hiz own space adventure suggestion , and thatz the only one that actually workz out . SAD !

* they also both lov math n science specifically ! phineas channelz hiz passion into crazy projectz and inventionz while baljeet moreso lovez math itself , and therez an episode where phineas iz shown uploading blueprintz to hiz n ferbz website so baljeet can check the math , which he doez very quickly and then sendz over the updated verzion , and although we only see this once it impliez to me that this iz a regular occurrence to the point where theyve got it down like a routine I JUST THINK THATZ CUTE !!!!! lookit theze nerdz <3333

* i see them az stabilizing forcez to each other , when baljeet iz freaking the hell out about smth phineas can help him look on the brighter side n realize itz not that big of a deal , or assure him thingz will work out . when phineas iz bouncing off the wallz and not thinking very far ahead baljeet can bring him back down to earth and challenge hiz leadership in a way the otherz dont often do , or correct hiz mistakez if need be

* and becauze of the way phin needz jeet to check over hiz math , and the way he misspellz time machine az tie machine in “its about time” , i like to hc phineas like . iznt necessarily Bad at spelling or typing , but iz very prone to making obvious mistakez in hiz haste , so itz great that he haz a nerd friend whoz happy to review hiz work n catch thoze for him YAY

* a similar phin hc i hav iz that , cuz of how hard he hyperfocusez on building stuff , hez constantly getting bruizez n scrapez that he doeznt even notice cuz hez too In The Zone . he could be leaving a trail of blood and would hav no idea LOL till someone pullz him aside to point it out (just adhd thingz <3 hez literally me) . everyone else startz carrying bandaidz for hiz sake . baljeet uzez blue onez , which iz why i pretty much alwayz try to draw phin (at least younger phin) with a blue bandaid on hiz hand . im makin it gay , it symbolizez jeet being there for him when hez hurt ..... hand holding ........... hehehehehehe

* i also somtimez draw jeet with a yellow bandaid on hiz noze for similarly gay reazonz . muahahaha

* at the start of "cranius maximus" baljeet freakz out becauze he feelz like hez getting dumber the more he hangz out with phineas and ferb since he iznt studying 24/7 anymore , even tho id argue the experience he gainz through their adventurez iz just az valuable , but i think itz a fun point since itz kinda noticeable how much more actively baljeet seemz to engage in the backyard gangz activitiez az the show goez on

* it most likely waznt an intentional Story Decizion for jeet to start changing hiz mind about the importance of hiz studiez after s1 , but i wouldve liked if it waz actually treated az like . a change , an arc of sortz . like at the start of the summer hez super focused on school and not interested in pnfz projectz , but az he keepz incidentally landing in their orbit n finding thingz they hav in common he gradually becomez part of the gang

* that half-made-up early summer baljeet probably wouldve been completely content sitting around n studying for hiz summer school classez all day , but here he iz coming to phineas and ferb with hiz “boring” activity , not even directly Asking them to make it more fun , just hoping and trusting that they Will . smth about that getz me idk . he likez playing with spinning topz , but now maybe smth about hiz change in routine haz made them a bit dull , and he trustz that pnf will figure out smth more exciting (and dangerous lol) to make of them . also just . how much they clearly like each other and enjoy being in each otherz company THATZ CUUUUUTE

* and OFC phinjeet wouldnt be phinjeet without "the baljeatles" (I ALWAYZ WRITE IT AZ PHINJEATLEZ IM COOKED) , one of my favorite episodez , in which pnf try to teach baljeet how to rock tm since hez accidentally signed up for a rock n roll camp n iz terrified of getting a bad grade . SUCH A GOOD EPISODE which so many of my phinjeet hcz hinge on , becauze THEY WERE IN LLIKE ?!?!?!?!?!? A PUNK ROCK BAND TOGETHER ?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?! EMOZ ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! /J

* THERE WAZ NO REAZON TO PUT UR ARM AROUND HIM LIKE THAT DAWG I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE . i hc it waz at this very concert that phineas had a gay awakening LOOOL . for the entire episode up till the concert jeet haz been very anxious and uncertain becauze he just doeznt know how to Rock , he doeznt Want to stick it to the man , he doeznt want to break the rulez , but now suddenly he walkz out on stage az a completely different , angry and confident person . i can just vividly picture phin freezing up and forgetting hez suppozed to be doing backup vocalz n stuff n ferb haz to like nudge him and remind him hez on stage . dumbass

* and despite all their wholesomeness theyre not above picking on each other (lightheartedly), which iz also extremely important . somtimez itz one-sided since jeet tendz to be the more petty n snarky one , but yk

* i think therez just . so many little thingz like that that make them such a compelling dynamic to me , n not even necessarily in a ship way , theyre just cute wholesome friendz who like each other !!!! and i think theyre both aro anyway , alloz could never understand phinjeet . thatz a qpr🫵 .

* theyre two nerdz who like sci-fi and space and math . they are sun and moon coded . they are puppy and kitty coded . they are a team that cannot be beaten ("they were also referring to ferb there-" this aint about him/silly) they respect each other and help each other whenever they can . phineas haz a little device that receivez holographic messagez from baljeet whenever he needz help (in One episode but SHH SHHHH) . after candace getz abducted by alienz in candace against the universe baljeet iz the first person they turn to n hez immediately like “i assume you will need me to build another portal” like he just Knowz . and hez fully on board , no questionz asked

* theyre also super autistic !!!!!!! they both hav episodez where they freak out over a change of planz (in "bubble boys" baljeet triez to take phineas' advice to "seize the day" very literally , by planning out every single second of hiz day and then freakz out when hiz schedule iz disrupted . in "bully bromance breakup" jeet forbidz the use of technology az the gang climb a mountain and phin lozez hiz mind , desperately suggesting ideaz for inventionz n gadgetz to the point where he stopz climbing n iz being pulled along by everyone else while curled up into a ball) , they both hav som trouble understanding tone and social cuez , they both infodump and stim , etc

* imagine: they are stargazing together and infodumping to each other about space . they are huddled up on a couch watching a space adventure marathon and eating popcorn , talking to each other for hourz . phin iz hovering over jeetz shoulder az jeet checkz hiz math on a blueprint . they are doing each otherz emo ass make-up and singing together . they are talking about beez and spiderz . they are dyeing each otherz hair . they are drinking cappuccinoz . they are bickering lovingly .

* now lemme yap rq about the aro thing cuz im aro and itz super important to me:

* phineas iz the one whoz more obviously aro coded , most notably cuz of how he never pickz up on any of izabellaz advancez and remainz completely clueless about her feelingz for him , but smth specific that getz me iz the way he talkz about romance in “that sinking feeling” . baljeet freakz out about hiz childhood friend being Pretty now , he wordz it weird like “now she is … a girl !!!” but hez like ten and itz 2009 dw about it

* the point iz , phineas iz like “oh i think what girls really like is romance , we learned all about it in this movie we watched !” . the movie waz titanic , and phineas doeznt think of romance az a feeling or an experience , but az an arbitrary list of itemz from a movie . he thinkz classical muzic , roze petalz , a cruize ship . the ship startz FUCKING SINKING and everyonez panicking and hez like “wow ! is this romance or what !” little guy haz NOOOO idea what the hell romance iz and hez trying hiz best but LOL .

* meanwhile baljeet strikez me az an aro who (in contrast to phineas) iz hyperaware of the amatonormative society around him and feelz obligated to try and fit into it and be “Normal” . he feelz a lot of aesthetic attraction , and partly cuz of PHINEAS’ confuzion about romance , he equatez it to romantic attraction

* he haz like four “love interestz” if u wanna call them that , but theyre mostly pretty shallow or underdeveloped relationship-wize , which i interpret az jeet having Chozen to hav crushez on thoze ppl , misinterpreting platonic and aesthetic attraction , looking at a person like a checklist of dezirable traitz , or just being eazily influenced and pushed into romantic relationshipz becauze of everything else combined with hiz desperation to be “normal”

* how i see their relationship developing iz later in their teenz they get together thinking itz romantic , baljeet finally feelz “fixed” and phineas feelz like he finally Getz It , but the way the ppl around them perceive their relationship , the way they themselvez only want it to be like “super close friends who kiss sometimes” , and the expectationz that are put on them to do/be More etc , make them question whether their feelingz are genuine . then somwhere down the line they (separately) realize theyre aro and that their feelingz for each other are actually queerplatonic and kind of both loze their mindz over it (im projecting my own aro experience here , when i first realized i waz aro i had a sorta-gf n i waz terrified that i wouldnt be able to lov her the “right” way or that i waz leading her on , so thatz also what i imagine going through their headz) . till they try to confess this to each other n realize there waz nothing to worry about cuz they were actually already on the same page n then theyre happy silly qppz forever the end

* az much az i like to make shit up n torture theze two to make them more fucked up than they should be , theyre really just . sweet and inoffensive . theyre buddiez . theyre palz . theyre a team . theyre everything to me and they make me phyzically ill somtimez

* herez som drawingz ! az a gift <3

* this iz certainly not ALL i can say about phinjeet , BUT IM SO TIRED AND THIS POST CANT GO ON FOREVER . so thatz it for neow peace and love <3333

[solargeist]

i would consider this blog pg 14 bc u won't see anything here worse than a pg 14 movie however if youre 14 do not speak to me

[lanaevyssmoved]

i think the message that we should block willingly and freely keeps getting construed into blocking friends the second you disagree with them and i don't like it ldkfgdfg

[weezerlvr228]

rivers if he was absorbed by poisonous gas but didn’t care too much

[feminurge]

sometimes i feel like i have to apologize bc i Am replying to all the ooc posts on dash like it's my job. pretty sure i'm bombarding some of you with a thousand notifications rip. and,?? its such a funny feeling to have. sorry im paying attention to you ig