#u r in this most tragically correct :/
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numbaoneflaya · 2 years ago
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I kin assign you toga and sera <3
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aq2003 · 1 year ago
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i forgor ic ive sent u an ask abt this already but every goddamn thing i see abt those 2 bitches form jjk is fuckinf crazy . i barely even know wahr the show is abt
jjk is. hmm. i'd say its main draw to me is that it's a dark tragic story with lots of really cool action (the anime in particular has some of the most beautiful animation i've seen in my life). Those Two Guys From Jjk (satoru gojo and suguru geto) are like. well u are correct they are crazy . in the flashback arc focusing on them gojo's deal is that he was born "the strongest" and starts off selfish but learns compassion and a will to protect those weaker than him. while geto starts off with that "protect others" mindset and after The Horrors he starts spiraling and gets on the "if we simply kill all non-sorcerers none of us will have to suffer under this broken system that sends kids to die fighting the monsters spawned from them" grind. they're rly good characters they have crunchy character arcs and they r also gay coded a little bit . love loses
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soobmint · 4 years ago
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voices | choi beomgyu [f] soulmates! au, 14.2k words
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s u m m a r y : after seeing your soulmate for the first time (whether in passing or by actually meeting them), you are able to hear their voice in your head—but only when they are singing. you have never been very interested in finding love, and choi beomgyu has lost all interest in singing. what happens when the two of you begin to change one another’s minds about the things you wish to avoid more than anything else?
c o n t e n t s : soulmates au, strangers to sorta enemies to lovers, guitarist! gyu, freckle gyu, college au, yeonjun is your best friend, gyu is a brat but a cute brat, very fluffy, a tiny bit of light angst
t a g l i s t : @hyuckworld @chanluster @honeyju​ @magicalstellar @yeonjuniper​ (if you’d like to be added to the taglist for future oneshots, please let me know!)
n o t e : this was requested by my dear friend alice, and i hope i did the request justice! the lyrics used in the oneshot are from genius’ english translation of “runaway.” i hope you guys enjoy the oneshot, and do kindly leave a like, comment, or reblog if you enjoyed it! that would mean the world!
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YOU MET CHOI BEOMGYU THE DAY YOU SWORE TO NEVER FALL IN LOVE.
 As dramatic as it sounded, the day hadn’t been quite so terrible. You were sitting cross-legged in the floor of one of the many practice rooms in your university’s music department with a bag of popcorn in your lap, your head leaned back against the wall as you stifled back a yawn. Your best friend, Yeonjun, was going on and on about his most recent breakup, but the story was so similar to all the other breakups he had gone through in the past two years that you were having a difficult time staying focused. The afternoon sunlight trickled in through the windows, reflecting off the symbols of the drum set that rested in the far corner. You scooted to the side a bit so that the light wouldn’t shine in your eyes anymore as Yeonjun paced back and forth in front of you.
 “And then she just stopped talking to me,” He said, running his hands through his hair. “Out of nowhere too! Things had been going so well, but then it was weird. Next thing I know, she’s breaking up with me—get this—over text.”
 You tossed a piece of popcorn into your mouth. “Tragic.”
 “I know you’re being sarcastic, but yes, it was tragic.” He finally stopped pacing and collapsed to the ground beside of you, leaning his head against your shoulder. “Love is so hard. You meet someone, you think it’s going to work and that you’ll spend a long, happy life together. Next thing you know, you’re single and stuck with your best friend in a stinky music room, waiting for some club meeting to start—or whatever it is we’re in here for.”
 “We’re here because we are in charge of organizing the music and theater departments’ performance at the open house next month,” You corrected, flicking his forehead. “And didn’t you only date this girl for like, a week?”
 He sighed, sitting up to glare at you. “Love knows not the boundaries of time, my dear friend. You’ll understand once you find it for yourself.”
 “Calm down, Shakespeare. I am not falling in love.”
 “Unfortunately for you, I don’t think you have any control over that,” He said with a teasing smile. “But why wouldn’t you want to?”
 You scoffed, turning to stare at him. “Well, for starters, you haven’t exactly given me a good idea of what ‘love’ is supposed to be, seeing as you’re crying about another ‘true-love-gone-wrong’ every three weeks. Why on earth would I want that for myself?”
 “Hey, love is different for everyone,” He said. “Just because my love life is vibrant and exciting and full of various names and faces doesn’t mean the same will happen for you.”
 “How do you predict my love life will go, then?”
 He hummed, tapping his finger against his chin in thought. “Well, you’re pretty boring, so you’ll probably be the kind of person that waits until they find their soulmate, then you’ll settle down and live a long, safe and uneventful life with them.”
 “Shut up,” you said as you shoved him, but you couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of you. “I think my soulmate is out of the question, though.”
 Yeonjun frowned. “You still haven’t heard him since back then?”
 You sighed, shaking your head as you leaned back against the wall. “Not a thing.”
 It was quiet then as the two of you thought about what this meant. It wasn’t the first time you had been faced with the reality of your situation, but it still felt like a punch to the stomach every time.
 In a world where people waited years, decades even, to hear the voice of their soulmate singing in their head, you had been considered extremely lucky to have heard the gentle voice of a boy in your mind at the age of thirteen. You knew that you had to have met him somewhere—at least in passing—in order to hear him, but you had no clue who he was.
 Yet, in a way, it felt like you did. He sang often—so often you wondered if singing was as necessary as breathing to him. It wasn’t a bother to you though; in fact, it was quite the opposite. The songs he sang always told a story; some spoke of love and joy, others off loss and heartache. You felt like each song he sang held a piece of him, and that piece was something that was shared just between the two of you.
 Until his voice was gone.
 It was rare for him to go a day without singing. Yet suddenly, in your sophomore year of college, days and weeks went by without a single note, and you had yet to hear his voice since.
 Your soulmate had stopped singing, and it was difficult to not imagine that the worst had happened.
 Yeonjun must have noticed the solemn look that came over your face, because he leaned over and gave your shoulder a squeeze. “Don’t be so gloomy,” he said. “He could still be out there.”
 You smiled the best you could, although the pit in your stomach remained. “Yeah, I guess he could.” You tossed the popcorn to Yeonjun and stood to your feet, wiping the crumbs from your hands. “Wait here, okay? The other guy that’s supposed to be helping us is—” You paused to glance at the time on your phone, “—ten minutes late. I’m gonna make sure he knows where to come or see if he’s lost or something.”
 Yeonjun nodded, helping himself to what was left of your snack. “Who is the other guy, anyway?”
 You sighed, picking up the piece of paper that the department head gave to you when she asked you to organize the showcase, claiming that it would be a great deal of experience for you to acquire in your senior year of university.
 You were mostly doing it for the extra credit points.
 You began to read the names of the seniors that were in charge of organizing the project listed at the top of the paper. “From the drama department, Choi Yeonjun and Kang Taehyun.”
 “Taehyun had an appointment,” Yeonjun said through a mouthful of popcorn. “He’ll be here tomorrow.”
 You nodded, tracing your finger along the page, stopping beneath the next pair of names. “From the music department, Y/N and Choi Beomgyu.” You looked up from the paper, tapping your forefinger against your chin. “Choi Beomgyu? Do you know him?”
 Yeonjun pondered for a moment before snapping his fingers. “Ah—that guy!” You weren’t surprised; Yeonjun seemed to know everyone in the performing arts programs at your school. “He’s one of the top guitar students, if I’m remembering correctly. Have you not heard of him?”
 You shook your head, looking back down at his name. Choi Beomgyu. It did sound familiar, but no images or information came along with the words printed on the page. It was nothing more than a tugging feeling in your stomach that made you feel like you knew him from somewhere.
 You began walking towards the door, still staring down at the paper. Just as the tips of your fingers brushed across the metal handle, the door swung open, and you barely had time to glance up and see a head of fluffy black hair and big brown eyes before the door crashed into your forehead so hard you fell backwards to the tile floor.
 With a hiss, you brought your hand up to your forehead, relieved to find a lack of blood there. Your eyes were blurred with tears, but through the fog you were able to see the same round doe eyes you had caught a glimpse of before you hit the ground.
 “Are you okay?” It was a guy’s voice, clear and ringing in your ears. You rubbed your eyes to clear some of the moisture and were then able to get a better look at the boy in front of you. Curly black bangs hung over his brows, brushing just over the tops of his wide chocolate eyes. His sun-kissed skin was sprinkled with a light spatter of freckles across his nose and lightly flushed cheeks.
 You blinked several times before responding. “Y-yeah, I’m okay.” You accepted his hand when he offered to help you stand back up, and soon, you were on your feet once more.
 “Sorry about that,” he said, brushing a hand through his already tousled hair. He leaned forward a bit, tapping his finger against your forehead. “Just got a tiny bump, though. You’ll be okay.”
 You backed away from his touch, but he didn’t seem to notice as he had caught sight of Yeonjun. Your best friend was quite literally on the edge of his seat, perched on the ledge of the desk while shoveling the last crumbs of popcorn into his mouth as if this were some movie unfolding before his eyes. If you had been close enough, you would have hit him.
 “Yeonjun?” Door Boy’s face lit up, and he strode over to give your pink-haired friend a high five. “I haven’t seen you in ages!”
 “Hey, man,” Yeonjun said with a grin, ruffling Door Boy’s curly hair with his fingers. “I know, it’s been way too long.”
 “I’m sorry, who’s this?” You asked, still a bit dazed from your unexpected collision with the door.
 Yeonjun looked back at you, gesturing to the newcomer. “Oh, this is—”
 “Choi Beomgyu,” he finished the introduction himself, giving you an overdramatic bow as he said his name. “And you must be Y/N?”
 Things were beginning to click together in your head: Door Boy was Choi Beomgyu. In other words, Door Boy was your assigned partner—the one you would be spending the next four weeks trying to plan a performance with.
 For some reason, the fact that you had met one another by him slamming a door into your face didn’t leave the best feeling in your chest.
 “I look forward to working with you, Y/N.” He gave you a big, lopsided grin, one that any other person would likely find heartwarming.
 You forced a smile in return, rubbing your hand across the bump on your forehead. “Same here, Choi Beomgyu.”
 -
 PERHAPS IT HAD A BIT TO DO WITH HOW POORLY YOUR FIRST MEETING WENT, BUT SOMETHING ABOUT BEOMGYU REALLY GOT UNDER YOUR SKIN.
 The day after you had first met one another, Yeonjun had asked everyone to meet up in the coffee shop inside the campus library. This time, Taehyun from the drama department was also able to be there. You had gotten to know him pretty well over the past four years because of how close he and Yeonjun had become, so the three of you hung out often.
 In fact, for the first fifteen minutes of the meeting, it was just the three of you sitting there. You pushed your tongue against the inside of your cheek in agitation before taking another sip of your coffee. “Does this Beomgyu guy have a thing for being late?”
 “Relax, Y/N,” Yeonjun said absently from across the table, his attention focused primarily on his cell phone screen. “Not everyone’s a time freak like you.”
 “Time freak—What does that even mean?” You crumpled up the wrapper from Taehyun’s straw and threw it at Yeonjun. “Unlike you, I actually care about getting these extra credit points and would like to organize this event properly.”
 “Hey! I care!” Yeonjun placed a hand over his heart, as though he had been wounded.
 You and Taehyun exchanged a side glance with one another, eyebrows raised.
“Stop looking at each other like that! I do care!”
 Before the point could be argued any further, a messy-haired boy crashed into the seat beside of you, out of breath, his backpack falling from his shoulder and onto the ground from the impact. You stared at him for a moment before realizing that it was Beomgyu.
 “Sorry—I’m late,” he said in between deep breaths. “On my way here—saw one of the campus cats—got distracted.”
 You stared at him again, almost laughing at how ridiculous of an excuse that was. However, considering what little you knew of Beomgyu, the thought of him being fifteen minutes late to a meeting because he got distracted by a cat didn’t seem all that unlikely. With a sigh, you slid a blank piece of notebook paper towards him and set a pen on top of it. “It’s all good. Mind taking notes?”
 He nodded—a bit too enthusiastically, if you were to say so yourself. “Sure. Can I grab a coffee real quick?”
 You were about to suggest that he should wait until after the meeting, since the three of you had been there for such a long time already, but Taehyun chimed in before you could say anything with, “Of course. We’ve got nowhere else to be.”
 It took everything within you to not roll your eyes. You were usually on the same page as Taehyun, but of course, this situation had to be an exception, because Choi Beomgyu was there.
 The slacker was rummaging around his backpack, searching for something. He pouted, looking up from his bag. “I forgot my wallet.”
 “No worries! Y/N doesn’t eat breakfast, so she always has an extra swipe on her meal card,” Yeonjun said from across the table. Your mouth fell open, eyes wide as saucers. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind letting you use it. Right, Y/N?”
 You weren’t quite sure that you did want Beomgyu to use your meal card, but what kind of jerk would you be if you said no? With gritted teeth and a glare at your best friend, you fished your meal card out of your wallet and placed it into Beomgyu’s open palm.
 The pout left his lips instantly, a big grin taking its place. “Thanks. I’ll return the favor sometime soon.”
 Doubt it, you thought, watching him rush towards the counter to order. You’ll probably forget you said that by the time you get your drink.
 Soon he was back at the table, caramel latte in hand, your meal card back in your possession. You cleared your throat, shifting in your seat. “If everyone’s ready, we can go ahead and get started. I met with my professor yesterday—she’s also the head of the classical music department. She’s technically our ‘overseer,’ but all the responsibility of planning the performance is on us. We’ll only have about forty minutes total to showcase the drama and music departments, so we need to choose our sets wisely.”
 “Yeonjun and I were talking a bit about this earlier,” Taehyun said. “We’ve been preparing for our winter show since the beginning of the summer, so we figured we could just perform a scene from the play.”
 You nodded, liking the idea. “That sounds perfect. What’s the play?”
 “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”
 “Right, I knew that. Could you guys work on finding a scene around ten or fifteen minutes long to perform for the open house, then?”
 Yeonjun and Taehyun both nodded. You smiled, glad that you were finally starting to get some things together for the event.
 When you glanced at Beomgyu to make sure he had written that down, the smile left as quickly as it had come when you saw that he was doodling tiny flowers and hearts all over the page rather than taking notes.
 He must have felt your eyes on him, because he glanced up and caught your gaze. Seemingly unbothered, he simply smiled and said, “Don’t worry. I was just about to write it down.”
 Your fingers itched to reach over and take the pen and paper from him so you could just do it yourself, but you kept your composure. “Beomgyu. Any ideas for what the music department could do?”
 He finished writing down Drama Department—Scene from “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” before looking at you again. He shrugged, another nonchalant smile spreading across his face. “Not really. I’m down for whatever it is you decide to do.”
 “Wow, helpful. Truly.” Your eyes went wide when you realized you had said those words out loud after Yeonjun and Taehyun began to snicker beside you. Your face flushed with embarrassment, but Beomgyu seemed unphased, that careless lopsided grin of his still on full display.
 You sighed, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear. “Well, I was thinking about having the orchestra do a piece, and then having one of the student bands do a piece. That way we have something classical and something more contemporary. Thoughts?”
 “I think that’s a good idea,” Taehyun said. “If we do our scene first, the orchestra could kind of act as a bridge between Shakespeare and more modern art.”
 “I agree,” Yeonjun said. “And since Y/N is in the orchestra, she can get in touch with the director and have them prepare something. Oh, and Beomgyu!” The curly-haired boy looked up from his doodling when his name was called. “You know a few different bands, right? Think you could piece together a group of performers?”
 “Definitely,” Beomgyu said. When he noticed your eyes on him, he quickly scribbled down Orchestra—Y/N. Band—Beomgyu Me.
 “Well, since we all have our first tasks, I guess that’s all for today.” You were happy that the meeting was over; you were ready to get back to your dorm so you could get to work and actually get things done.
 “Wait!” Beomgyu said as you stood up, slinging your bag over your shoulder.
 Now you have something to say. You raised a brow at him expectantly.
 “We should exchange phone numbers, right?” He smiled, standing up and holding his phone out towards you. “I have the others’ numbers, but I figure I should be able to contact my partner from the music department.”
 You hesitated, but knew there was no logical reason why you shouldn’t give him your number. You were going to be working together for the next several weeks, after all.
 After putting your number in, he took his phone back and grinned at you again, eyes scrunching up into crescent moons. “Perfect! I’ll try not to bother you too much, but I make no promises.” He reached forward and ruffled your hair, and you were too caught off guard by the sudden touch to back away, or to even react at all. He then waved at all three of you, throwing his backpack over his shoulder. “See you guys tomorrow then.” He turned towards you again, throwing you a casual wink that still managed to have you flustered. “I’ll be in touch, partner.”
 You turned to watch him leave, face warm as you brushed through your hair with your fingers, trying to undo the damage your “partner” had done.
 Something told you that he wouldn’t be keeping his promise about trying not to bother you anytime soon.
 -
 OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, BEOMGYU PROVED HIMSELF TO BE ONE OF THE MOST BOTHERSOME PEOPLE YOU HAD COME ACROSS IN A LONG, LONG TIME.
 The worst part was the fact that he didn’t do anything blatantly wrong. He did everything he was asked to do when it came to preparing for the showcase. The first week of work consisted of the two of you gathering all the students who would be participating in the performances, along with Yeonjun and Taehyun preparing those from the drama department. Beomgyu performed all of his tasks just as he was asked to do, so it wasn’t as if he was bothering you by being unhelpful.
 It was just something about the way he held himself that seemed to get under your skin for no apparent reason.
 For the past week, your “partner” had basically been a tagalong—he would stand beside of you and do what he was asked without contributing much to the creative process of planning. You found it hard to criticize him up front, as he just did as he was told.
 However, that was all he did. When the four of you would all sit down together to discuss plans or ideas, Beomgyu’s role never changed: he would sit beside all of you, jot down anything you told him to in his nearly-full composition notebook, and crack an occasional joke that would always send Yeonjun and Taehyun into fits of laughter, but only earned a stiff, forced smile from you.
 You were starting to wonder why your professor had assigned him to your team. After all, putting on this open house was your last shot at making a lasting impression on the higher ups in your department. Everything needed to be perfect; mediocracy was not an option.
 In other words, Choi Beomgyu needed to step up his game, and he needed to do it quickly.
 You thought about this on the day of your first rehearsal, where all of the students who would be participating in the performances had gathered in the main auditorium of the music building.
 Drama students were scattered in all directions, occupying the space around them with dramatic line readings and critiques for their classmates as they practiced their roles. Yeonjun and Taehyun were busy taking charge of the drama students, making sure everything was running smoothly amongst them. You watched as Kai, one of the freshman students Yeonjun had taken under his wing, followed your friends around like a baby penguin waddling after its parents, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight.
 Music students were spread across the stage, the orchestra setting up instruments and covering stands with sheets filled by notes and lyrics while the band tuned their guitars and plugged up their mics. Soobin, a tall, blue-haired student from the same year as you, waved at you from stage with his mic in hand. You waved back, happy that you had been able to snag him as the main vocalist for the band’s performance—his voice was angelic, able to captivate any listener.
 “Hey.” You turned at the sound of the voice you had begun to grow quite accustomed to, whether that was for better or for worse. Beomgyu was standing beside of you, brushing a hand through the curly black bangs that hung just above his eyes. The tip of his nose was flushed pink, a sign that he had likely just been out in the biting cold that had begun to creep up as fall quickly approached. He had his backpack slung over one shoulder and his guitar case held in one hand.
 “Running a little late, aren’t we?” You asked, glancing at the time on your phone with no attempt at hiding your frown. “Is this going to be a trend with you, Choi Beomgyu?”
 He laughed, nudging his shoulder against yours. You wanted to be more irritated with him than you were, but he had the kind of laugh that put everyone around him at ease; the kind of laugh that filled one’s chest with warmth, as if you had been directly touched by a ray of sunlight reaching down from the sky.
 So you settled with being only slightly irritated, pursing your lips to keep your expression in check as he responded with, “What fun would it be if everyone was on time?”
 “It’s not about fun, it’s about making sure this whole thing runs smoothly,” you said as you turned to face him. “Speaking of which, since you didn’t have any suggestions, I went ahead and helped the band choose a setlist. They’ll only have time for two songs, but the ones I picked are really diverse and should be—”
 “Ah!” He cut you off, snapping his fingers in front of your face, causing you to flinch back in surprise. “I knew there was something I forgot to tell you.”
 “What?”
 He rubbed the back of his neck, grinning as he shifted a bit closer to you. You could smell his cologne—a misty citrus scent that was so light you could barely tell it was there. “Well, it’s kind of embarrassing, but the professor actually wanted the band to perform one of the songs I wrote. If that’s okay with you, of course—you’re the boss, after all.”
 “You—you write songs?” You asked, trying not to get irritated at the sudden disruption of what you had planned. He had been complacent this entire time, so of course, the time he actually had something to contribute, he would be messing up what you had already set in place.
 “Well, if it’s a suggestion from the professor, I can’t just deny you permission, can I?” You said with a forced laugh. “Do you have the—”
 “Sheet music?” He finished your sentence, shaking a stack of papers in front of you. “Right here, partner. Want me to go tell the band?”
 You sighed, crossing your arms over your chest. “Sure. Just tell them to switch the second song I had picked out with this one.”
 He smiled at you again, ruffling your hair with the same hand he held the papers in. “You’re a saint. I’ll talk to you in a bit then?”
 You had no time to respond before he was setting off towards the stage to talk to the band, papers and guitar in hand. You huffed through pursed lips, mumbling under your breath as you tried to put your hair back in place.
 “What was that all about?” You dropped your hands to your sides when Yeonjun approached you, eyebrow quirked. Half of his cotton-candy colored hair was pulled into a ponytail, and he had on a pair of big round glasses with what you knew to be fake lenses—a fashion statement rather than a necessity.
 “I don’t think Beomgyu knows much about personal boundaries or personal responsibility,” you mumbled, allowing Yeonjun to come up and finish fixing your hair with his fingers. “He decided to just now tell me that our professor wanted the band to use one of his songs in the performance.”
 “What’s wrong with that?”
 “Nothing’s wrong with it, I just—” You hesitated, unsure of how to respond without sounding like a jerk. “I just wish he would have told me about it sooner. That’s all.”
 “Y/N, you need to cut the guy some slack,” Yeonjun said, stepping back once he was finished fixing up your hair. “You act as though you have a personal vendetta against him or something.”
 “I do not,” You argued, feeling you defenses flare up at his words. “Why would you say that?”
 “I don’t know, maybe because every time he walks in the room you start to grimace, and every time he talks to you I can literally feel the amount of energy it takes for you to not roll your eyes.”
 “You’re exaggerating.”
 “If you say so.” He put his hand on your shoulder, giving you a stern look that did, in fact, make you roll your eyes. “Give him a chance, Y/N. You may end up liking him more than you’d expect.”
 You scoffed as your best friend walked away from you, returning to work on his previous tasks with Taehyun. A vendetta? Was it really that obvious to the people around you that Beomgyu got under your skin?
 Perhaps Yeonjun was right—you did have a tendency to be extra sensitive when it came to your academic responsibilities. Maybe you were being too hard on Beomgyu; his goal was the same as yours, even if his methods differed drastically from yours.
 You looked up to the stage to see Beomgyu laughing as he said something to Soobin, the rest of the band analyzing the sheets of music in their hands—Beomgyu’s song, if you had to guess. His skin glowed like honey beneath the stage lights, and you noticed that when he laughed, he laughed with his entire body; his eyes disappeared into crescents, his shoulders shook, he clapped his hands together and even stomped his feet a bit. You smiled slightly at the sight, before a pang of guilt hit you.
 He did seem like a nice guy. It was time you gave him a chance to be seen as such in your eyes.
 -
 ANY PATIENCE YOU HAD DESPERATELY TRIED TO HOLD WITH BEOMGYU WAS WEARING THIN, AND IT HAD ONLY BEEN AN HOUR SINCE YOU DECIDED TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE.
 You had both stayed behind with Yeonjun and Taehyun to clean up the auditorium after the practice. “I think that we’re done, don’t you?” You asked everyone after picking up a few discarded sheets of paper left behind by the drama students.
 “Almost,” Beomgyu said from the stage. You looked up at him to see him pointing at two large music stands left behind by the orchestra. “Someone left these behind.”
 “Can’t we just leave them there?” Yeonjun asked.
 Taehyun shook his head. “No, we were given specific instructions to not leave anything behind.” He glanced at his phone. “They’re about to close the building for the night, so we should hurry and put them up.”
 “I know which room they came from, so I can take them back,” Beomgyu offered.
 “They’re pretty heavy, Beomgyu. Are you sure you can carry them on your own?” Taehyun asked.
 “Yeah, it’s fine—”
 “No, no, someone should definitely help you. You have to carry your guitar too,” Yeonjun interjected, a mischievous glint in your eyes that sent sirens blaring in your head. The feelings of disdain only grew when Yeonjun made eye contact with you directly, seeming to give you a sweet smile, but you knew the expression was laced with ulterior motives. “Y/N, why don’t you carry one while Beomgyu carries the other?”
 You wanted to smack him, but that wouldn’t have been a good look for you, considering that everyone already thought you hated Beomgyu anyways. You glanced up at him on the stage to see that he had already picked one of the stands up, his guitar in the other hand.  He gave you a big grin, eyes sparkling like freshly fallen snow. “What do you say, partner? Care to give me a hand?”
 You pushed your tongue against the inside of your cheek, knowing that there was no way you were getting out of this one. “Sure,” You said through your teeth, glaring daggers at Yeonjun before making your way up the steps to the stage. The music stand wasn’t too heavy, so you almost dared to ask Beomgyu to try carrying them both in one hand, but decided against it.
 “We’ll go ahead and leave then,” Yeonjun said, throwing a taunting wink your way. “You two have fun.”
 You hate to bite your tongue to keep from cursing at him as Yeonjun and Taehyun left the auditorium, leaving you alone with Beomgyu for the first time. You glanced his way, noticing that he already had his eyes on you. Instead of averting his gaze when yours met his, he just smiled wider, gesturing towards the door with his head. “Shall we?”
 You forced another smile. “Lead the way, partner.”
 You followed him out the doors and up the stairs to the first floor, where the orchestra’s practice room was located. You were very familiar with the area, being a violinist yourself. When the two of you reached the room, you rushed forward to open the door, as Beomgyu’s hands were full. He thanked you and stepped inside first, and you followed suit, letting the heavy door swing shut behind you.
 “Where should we set them?” He asked.
 You nodded to the far corner of the room. “Over there.”
 The two of you set the stands down, and you instantly turned back towards the door, ready to get back to your dorm for some alone time after such a taxing day.
 “In a rush?” Beomgyu asked from behind you.
 You turned to look over your shoulder at him as your hand grasped the doorknob. “Nah, just tired. Aren’t you?”
 He shrugged, shifting his guitar case from one hand to the other. “Not really.”
 “Lucky you,” You mumbled, turning back towards the door. “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow—”
 You stopped mid-sentence, heart dropping to your toes. When you tried to turn the knob, it wouldn’t move. After a moment of shock, you tried again, and then again, violently shaking the knob, trying to get the door to open.
 “No, no, no,” You said, shaking the handle desperately. “Come on, this can’t be happening!”
 “What is it?” Beomgyu asked, setting his guitar on the floor before rushing to your side.
 “The door won’t open.” You shook the knob more frantically than ever, the entire door shaking from the force.
 “Woah, easy there, partner,” Beomgyu said, gently placing his hand on your arm. “Why don’t you let me try to—”
 “What exactly do you think you’re going to be able to do differently?” You snapped, snatching your arm away from him. His mouth hung open, eyes wide with what you assumed to be shock. “We’re stuck in here, Beomgyu. We’re stuck, and we’re not going to get out for god knows how long, and with you as my ‘partner,’ I’m one hundred percent certain we’re not going to be able to find a way out of here on our own.”
 You could tell that your words struck a nerve with him by the way his shoulders tensed and how his eyes went narrow. Looking back, you wished you could reel the words back in, but they had already done their damage.
 “Why do you hate me so much?” He asked, his voice low and thick with irritation.
 It was your turn to be shocked. “What?”
 “I said, why do you hate me so much?”
 You blinked rapidly, feeling exposed and vulnerable now that he was confronting you. “I don’t—I don’t hate you, Beomgyu.”
 He scoffed, pulling his bottom lip under his teeth. “Come on, I’m not that much of an idiot. This entire time, from the moment we first met, you’ve been cold and snippy with me. You can barely hide how much you dislike me with your facial expressions. I thought maybe we just got off on the wrong foot, so I’ve been brushing it off and treating you kindly. But you still treat me like I’m some annoying fly that you can’t quite get rid of, and I want to know why.”
 “That’s not—I don’t hate you,” You repeated, jumbling your words together as you struggled to figure out what to say.
 “Well, what’s the issue then?”
 “You don’t take anything seriously!” Your voice wasn’t quite a shout, but it was almost there. Beomgyu took a step back, arms dropping to his sides.
 “You’re treating this entire thing like it’s an elementary school play,” You continued, your voice getting louder and your words coming out more and more rushed the more you spoke. “You don’t contribute in the meetings, you show up late, and you barely do the things I ask you to do. I understand it may not be anything special to you, but this is my last chance to do something memorable here. I’m graduating in the spring, and up until this point, I’ve been nothing but another violinist tossed in the orchestra. I don’t stand out to my professors, or to scouts, to anyone.”
 Hot tears began to well in the corners of your eyes as thoughts of your mother surfaced. Every word she had ever said about your pursuit of music being a waste of time, of how little a chance you had of making it, how your only hope was to stand out in the department, which, of course, she highly doubted you would be capable of doing.
 “I have to do this, and I have to do it right.” Your voice wavered as you swiped at your cheeks, where a few tears had fallen. “If I don’t, then I’ll—I’ll—”
 “Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Beomgyu’s voice was gentle, in stark contrast to the razor-sharp tone he had held just seconds before. You looked at him through your teary eyes to see that his own eyes were wide, this time with concern rather than anger. “You don’t have to explain, I understand, okay? I’m sorry, Y/N.”
 You sniffed, more tears gliding down your cheeks as you did so. “What?”
 “I’m sorry,” He repeated, looking as though he were about to start crying himself. “I had no idea that’s how I was coming across. I’m really, really sorry.”
 You stared at him, dumbfounded. How were you supposed to respond to that? The last thing you expected to hear from him was an apology, especially since, now that you had yelled at him, you realized how unfair you were being towards him. You shook your head, wiping furiously at your eyes. “No, you don’t have to apologize Beomgyu. I should be apologizing—I’m the one being irrational, not to mention I’m also the one that locked us in here—”
 “How about we just call it even then, hm?” He cut you off, looking around before he spotted a box of tissues on the front desk. He grabbed one and made his way back over to you, gently wiping the tears from your face, being careful to not touch you directly. “We’ve both apologized for something that the other person doesn’t think requires an apology. The grounds are neutral now.”
 You laughed, gently taking the tissue from his hand so you could wipe your eyes on your own. He stepped back when you did so, smiling nervously at your sudden laughter.
 “Thank you, Beomgyu,” You said quietly, wadding the tissue up in your hand.
 He rubbed the back of his neck, rocking back and forth on his feet. “No need to thank me, Y/N.” He paused, seeming to be in deep thought. It was quiet for a moment before he stuck his hand out towards you, expression cautiously hopeful. “Now that we both understand each other a little better, do you think we could start over?”
 You smiled, wrapping your hand around his to give it a firm shake. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
 -
 THE WORLD ALWAYS SEEMED COLDER WHEN YOU WERE ALONE.
 Of course, it could have felt cold because you were alone in a hotel parking lot, sitting on the cool pavement in the late hours of the night. You hadn’t brought a jacket with you, and your dress was sleeveless and made of thin fabric that didn’t do much to protect you from the wind that sent strands of hair flying across your face.
 However, you were certain that if your mother or father had been sitting beside of you that early winter’s night, you would barely even notice the bite of the wind or the goosebumps that prickled up all over your bare arms. Even the stars had denied you their company; the sky was pitch black, void of any trace of light.
 Lower lip trembling, you sighed as you kept your gaze on the sky above, thinking that maybe, if you kept looking, you’d find a single star shining amidst the darkness. Tears filled your eyes, but you wiped them away before they could fall.
 “You’re a strong girl, Y/N,” Your mother would say if she were to catch you crying. “Strong girls don’t cry, do they?”
 “No,” You whispered, even though she wasn’t there to hear you. “Strong girls don’t cry.”
 “What do you mean?”
 You jumped at the sudden voice, placing your hand over your heart before you turned your head to see a boy sitting on the pavement beside you. He had curly black hair that stuck out from beneath a beanie, covering the top of his eyes, and a big jacket on over his clothes. He seemed to be the same age as you, but of course, you couldn’t be sure.
 “W-what?” You spoke through shaking lips, pulling your arms around yourself in an attempt to stay warm.
 “You said that strong girls don’t cry,” He said, eyeing you with curiosity. “What do you mean by that?”
 “Oh,” you whispered, looking down at your shoes—a pair of black flats with scuff marks all over the toes. “It’s nothing— just something my mom says.”
 He hummed, leaning back on the palms of his hands. “Well, I think she’s wrong. Everyone cries, even the strongest people alive. If someone tells you they don’t cry, then they’re lying.” He turned towards you, a big grin on his face. “You don’t seem like a liar to me.”
 You sniffled, wiping your hand across your cheeks to catch the few tears that had managed to slip down. “Thanks, I think.”
 “It was definitely meant as a compliment.” He sat up straight then, narrowing his eyes at you. You shrunk back a bit, shoulders shaking as the wind only seemed to get stronger by the second.
 A moment later, he was sitting right beside of you, so close that his arm brushed against yours as he slipped his coat off, revealing an oversized hoodie beneath it. He wrapped the coat around your shoulders, and zipped it up, trapping your arms inside. He smiled again and sat back, but he was still close to you, so close that your shoulders were pressed together and his pinky was resting on top of yours.
 Eyes wide, you slowly shook your head and slipped your arms through the sleeves so you could reach the zipper. “No, I’m okay—”
 “Hey, keep it on, please,” He interrupted, placing his hand on top of yours to stop you from unzipping the coat. “It’s freezing out here, and you don’t even have any sleeves.”
 You hesitated, not wanting to be a bother to this unexpectedly kind stranger, but you would have been lying if you had said that the cold wasn’t starting to bother you. Not wanting your lips to turn blue, you nodded, pulling your arms back into the coat to keep them extra warm.
 “Thank you,” you said quietly. “What are you doing out here, by the way?”
 “Me? Oh, I was just sneaking out to the indoor pool.” He pointed over his shoulder at the building with a large dome roof made of glass. “My parents are already asleep and didn’t notice me leave. You?”
 “Ah, well, my family is staying here for the night. My parents and I are going out for dinner to celebrate my birthday.”
 “It’s your birthday?” He asked, eyes growing wide. You nodded sheepishly and his smile grew bigger before he reached over to ruffle your hair with his hand. “Happy birthday!”
 You giggled, smoothing your hair back down when he pulled his hand away. Your eyes met his, which seemed to sparkle with the light of billions of galaxies, paired perfectly with his beaming smile, and you realized that maybe you didn’t need the stars that night after all, because he alone shined brightly enough.
 He looked around then, eyebrows furrowed. “But, where are your parents? Shouldn’t you guys get going before all the restaurants close?”
 Your smile faded just as quickly as it had appeared. You swallowed, your eyes drifting towards a car that sat a few yards away from the two of you. The car was running and the lights inside were on, casting a yellow glow onto the two occupants seated in the front: your parents. Although you couldn’t hear what they were saying, you knew that they were yelling by the way they pointed their fingers at each other, and by the expressions on their faces, and the intensity with which their lips were moving.
 The boy followed your gaze, his mouth parting slightly in surprise when he caught sight of your parents in the heat of their dispute. He glanced sideways at you before moving to sit in front of you, blocking your view of your parents.
 “Why don’t you sneak to the pool with me?” He asked.
 You shook your head immediately, a slight smile returning to your face. It was clear that he was trying to distract you, and you were grateful. That didn’t mean you were willing to sneak away from your parents, especially when the tension among your family was already sky high.
 “Why not?” He whined, sticking his bottom lip out in a pout.
 “Because I’m not supposed to move from this spot,” You said.
 “And I wasn’t supposed to leave my hotel room, yet here I am.” He shrugged nonchalantly, brushing his bangs out of his eyes only for them to fall right back into place. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
 There were a lot of really terrible things that could happen as a result of you sneaking away to go night swimming with a boy you didn’t know while your parents fought in the middle of a hotel parking lot. You could probably list ten off the top of your head. However, when you looked into the starry eyes of the boy in front of you, his lips spread in an encouraging grin that made you feel warm inside despite the cold, you hesitated.
 What was the worst thing that could happen? The list seemed to be erased from your head as quickly as it appeared.
 He tilted his head to the side, a playful glint sparkling in his eyes. He stood up and stretched his hand out to you, his fingers trembling from the cold.
 “Should we run away?”
 Your fingers twitched, urging to reach out touch his own. You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to find the balance between being rational and following where your heart was leading. These two things did not seem to be lining up.
 Before you could do anything, however, you heard a car door slamming shut. You jumped to your feet just in time to see your mother stepping away from the vehicle before your father drove off, leaving her alone in the parking lot. Eyes wide with worry, you watched as your mother brushed her hand across her cheeks before taking a deep breath and making her way towards you.
 “Y/N,” she said when she reached you, not even glancing at the boy beside of you as she took your face in her hands. “Your dad is going to come pick us up in the morning. How about we just have a girl’s night to celebrate your birthday instead?”
 With your heart dropping to your toes, you felt the tears welling in your eyes once again, but you refused to let them fall. You smiled and nodded, wrapping your hand around your mother’s. “Yeah. That sounds fine.”
 You turned towards the boy to see that his face was full of concern. Forcing the best smile you could, you unzipped his coat and slipped it off your shoulders before placing it back in his outstretched hands.
 “Thank you,” you said quietly. Before he could say anything back, you had turned away and began walking back towards the entrance, arm-in-arm with your mother.
 “I was thinking we could order a pizza and rent your favorite movies,” she said, straining to keep the emotion out of your voice. “I’ll order the food once we get back to the room, okay?”
 You nodded slowly, halting your footsteps just before the automatic doors that led inside.
 But when you turned your head to catch one last look at the boy who shined brighter than the stars, he was already gone.
 -
 IN THE HAZY PLACE BETWEEN SLEEPING AND WAKING, YOU COULD HAVE SWORN YOU HEARD HIM SINGING.
 With your eyes still closed, the sound rang through your head, clear as day. It was comforting, as if you had heard it before. Yet it wasn’t a sound that only echoed around you. This voice, so gentle and sweet that it seemed to drip with sugar and honey, filled all of your senses to the brim. You weren’t just hearing it, you were feeling it.
 “In moments like those, when tears fill your eyes, hold my hand tight. Should we run away?”
 You sighed, swept away by the sound and the words that the voice sang. You felt as though you had heard it before, but you couldn’t quite think of where. Snuggling closer to whatever it was that you were leaning against, you allowed the faintest of smiles to trace its way across your lips.
 The singing stopped. “Y/N?”
 “Hmm?” You pressed your face closer against the warmth you were leaning into, frowning at the sudden absence of the soothing voice.
 “Are you awake?”
 “Yeah,” you mumbled, slowly forcing your eyes open.
 You weren’t quite sure where exactly you expected to be when you opened your eyes, but it definitely was not on the floor of the orchestra practice room with your head in Choi Beomgyu’s lap. Beomgyu was smiling down at you, black curls hanging over his eyes, freckles illuminated by the faint moonlight that spilled through the windows.
 You sat up quickly, trying to fix your messy hair as you felt your face grow warm. You didn’t remember falling asleep, but you were incredibly embarrassed that you had.
 “How—how long was I asleep?” You asked, your voice hoarse.
 “Just an hour or so. I think you got so stressed out after trying to call so many people that you just passed out,” Beomgyu said. He reached his hands toward you and helped you straighten up your hair, which only served to make your face even warmer than before.
 “Sorry,” you said, gesturing to his lap. “For . . . that.”
 He waved his hand at you before folding his hands behind his head. “Don’t apologize. Seems like you needed the sleep—you were dreaming pretty intensely.”
 “I was? Did I say anything weird in my sleep? What did I say? Was it embarrassing?” You grabbed his sleeve, eyes wide as you bombarded him with questions.
 He laughed, shaking his head in reassurance. “Don’t worry, it was nothing embarrassing. But you were talking.”
 “What did I say?”
 “Hmm, something about it being your birthday?” He placed a finger against his chin, eyes narrowed. “I’m not sure exactly what else. It was all kinda random.”
 You squeezed your eyes shut, biting the inside of your cheek as you let go of his sleeve. You remembered every bit of the dream you had—well, it wasn’t really a dream as much as it was a memory. It was embarrassing to think that Beomgyu had heard any part of the memory, but you tried not to think about it too much.
 “Beomgyu,” You said, opening your eyes once more to look at him. “Were you singing just now? Before I woke up?”
 He didn’t say anything at first, his expression blank. Then, he smiled, nudging your shoulder with his. “Of course not—you know I don’t sing. Why?”
 “Actually, for the record, I did not know that,” You corrected. “And I don’t know, I just .  . . thought I heard someone.”
 “Maybe it was your soulmate,” Beomgyu said, moving his eyebrows up and down.
 You sighed, looking down at your feet. “I wish it was. I haven’t heard from him in two years.”
 The smile fell from Beomgyu’s face right away. “Ah, sorry, I didn’t know.”
 “It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize.”
 “Do you . . . know what happened to him?”
 You shook your head, staring at the moon through the window. “No. I don’t even know who he was.”
 “Hey, why are you speaking in the past tense?” He turned towards you and grabbed your shoulders, forcing you to face him. “Think positively, Y/N. He could still be out there. When did you first hear him?”
 “When I was thirteen,” You answered. “But he stopped singing two years ago.”
 “And you haven’t heard anything since then?”
 You hesitated, thinking back over the past two years and all the sleepless nights you had spent waiting and hoping to hear any trace of a note ringing in your ears, the faintest hint of a voice. Sometimes, when you were just about to close your eyes, you would’ve sworn that you could hear his voice for the briefest of moments before you drifted off, but you would always blame it on being sleep deprived.
 “No,” you said quietly. “I haven’t heard anything. He used to sing all the time, too. I would wake up to the sound of his voice, and it would carry me throughout each and every day. I know it sounds weird to say this about someone I don’t remember meeting, but I felt . . . connected to him, if that makes sense?”
 Beomgyu didn’t say anything, so you continued. “He’s actually the reason why I picked up the violin. I got so used to his voice, I would go around humming all day. I guess my mom got tired of hearing me, because soon after I started hearing him, my mom signed me up for violin lessons. And, well, now I’m here.”
 You looked over to see Beomgyu smiling softly, but his eyes didn’t meet yours. “Do you have any idea of who it might be?”
 You were quiet for a moment. The image of the boy from the hotel parking lot with his star-struck eyes and diamond smile came to your mind, as always.
 “No. But I have someone I hope it is.”
 You looked over at him again, and this time, his eyes met yours. The silvery light of the moon highlighted the right side of his face and the bridge of his nose, casting a stark shadow across the other side. He was neither smiling nor frowning as his eyes searched yours. What exactly he was looking for you couldn’t be sure of, however, you liked the eye contact well enough to let it go on for a moment longer before you cleared your throat, looking back towards the window.
 “Did you try calling Yeonjun again?”
 “Yep. No answer.”
 “Taehyun?”
 “Nothing.”
 “The professor?”
 “Didn’t pick up—I left a message though.”
 You sighed, allowing the back of your head to hit the wall behind you. “We’ll be stuck here all night at this rate.”
 “Well, now that you’ve had a little nap, we may as well use this time to be productive,” Beomgyu said, standing to his feet and stretching his arms above his head as he did so.
 You crossed your arms, raising a brow as you watched him pull his guitar out of the case. “What’s this? Choi Beomgyu taking initiative?”
 “Hey, we said we were starting over.”
 You laughed as he sat on the edge of the desk in front of where you were sitting on the floor. He pulled the strap over his shoulder and began tuning his guitar by ear, something you always struggled to do with your violin.
 “What are you doing?” You asked.
 He strummed through all the strings, nodding when he was satisfied with the sounds. Glancing down at you, he smiled. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m going to show you the song I wrote.”
 Interest piqued, you sat up straighter and smiled back at him. “I was hoping that’s what you’d say.”
 He laughed, adjusting his position on the desk before his fingers found their place on the neck of the guitar. You listened attentively as he began to pick the first notes, watching the way his fingers moved deliberately across the frets, yet, his movements never lost their grace. At first, he kept his eyes focused on his hands. But as the song went on, his eyes slowly closed, and he played without seeing, relying solely on the sound of the notes he was creating and the feeling of the strings that pressed into his calloused fingertips.
 Awestruck would have been an understatement for the way you felt as you watched him play. The way he became one with the sounds he created, the way his wrist twisted to strum and how his fingertips slid across the length of the instrument as if it was the very thing they had been created to do. You were hypnotized, allowing the music to seep into your heart and make it thump against your chest like a caged bird begging to be set free.
 If you had to put a word to how he looked in that moment, “beautiful” was the closest you would be able to get.
 He opened his eyes as he strummed the last note, a gentle grin on his lips. You noticed how his eyes sparkled in the darkness, despite his back being towards the moonlight rather than his face.
 “What do you think?” He asked, his voice sounding sharp as it pierced through the thick silence that had settled over the room.
 “It was—”
 “It was real pretty, kid.”
 You yelped in surprise at the sudden voice, jumping up to your feet as Beomgyu practically fell off the desk, nearly dropping his guitar in the process. You helped steady him, and together, you looked towards the door to see that it was wide open, fluorescent light from the hallway spilling into the room as the janitor stood in the entry way, arms crossed over his chest as he blew a bubble with the gum in his mouth.
 “If you’re done serenading your girlfriend, would you mind leaving so I can clean up and go home? This building closed an hour ago, but if you both leave now I’ll keep quiet.”
 Your cheeks went hot, and you struggled to form words as Beomgyu scrambled to put his guitar back in its case. “Girl—girlfriend? No, we’re not—I mean, I’m not his—we just got stuck and—”
 “Thank you, sir. We’re really sorry.” Beomgyu cut you off as he picked up his guitar case with one hand and wrapped his free arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. You gasped, but were too stunned to do anything but follow Beomgyu’s lead as he pulled you out of the room.
 “What was that about?” You asked once the two of you had safely made it out of the building. “You were not serenading me.”
 Beomgyu shrugged, letting his arm fall from your shoulders. Your mouth fell open at his lack of a denial. “Choi Beomgyu! Stop messing around.”
 “Who said I was messing around?” He teased, winking at you as he began to walk towards his dorm building, which was on the other side of campus from yours.
 You scoffed but said nothing as you watched his back while he walked away from you, trying to piece together what had just happened.
 “See you tomorrow, Y/N!” He shouted, turning around as he walked so he could wave goodbye.
 You gave him a weak-hearted wave in return, pressing your hands against your flushed cheeks as you slowly began to tread back to your own dorm room.
 How strange it was that just that morning, you would have given almost anything to avoid seeing Beomgyu.
 But now, you found yourself counting down the minutes left until the next day so you could see him again.
 -
 WHEN YOU GOT BACK TO YOUR DORM FROM REHEARSAL THE NEXT EVENING, YOU HAD A TEXT.
 Beomgyu: I know we said we were starting over, but I can’t forget that I still owe you a coffee. Meet me at the library in 15?
 You felt like an idiot, but you couldn’t stop the grin from taking over your face. Slipping your shoes back on, you typed out a quick reply before slipping out the door.
 You: Make it 5. I’ll be waiting.
 When you arrived at the library, you were surprised to see that Beomgyu was already there. The line for coffee was very short, as most students had settled into their dorms for the night. Only a few stray overachievers and those that were desperately trying to cram for exams were there, and Beomgyu had claimed a place in line amongst them. He held his guitar in one hand, as per usual, and you wondered if there would ever come a time in which you would see him without it.
 “How is it that you demanded to meet me ten minutes earlier than I planned, and I still got here before you?” He asked once you had reached him.
 “First of all, I did not demand anything from you,” You said, pushing your fist against his shoulder. “Secondly, that is so unfair, because you know that your dorm is way closer to the library than mine is.”
 “Sounds like an excuse to me, but okay. Ah, it’s our turn.” He placed his hand on the small of your back and pulled you closer to the counter. Your stomach flipped, but for some reason, you didn’t mind.
 After the two of had gotten your coffees, Beomgyu told you to follow him up the stairs. You expected to stop at the second floor, but to your surprise, he kept leading you. He took you through a door in the back that you didn’t even know existed, where there was another flight of stairs. At the end of these stairs was another door. You stepped outside and found yourself on the rooftop, with a great view of the campus below.
 “Are you sure we’re allowed to be up here?” You asked.
 “Well, no. But I’ve come up here a lot and never gotten in trouble, so what’s the harm?”
 “That does not make me feel any better.”
 “Come on, Y/N.” He took your hand in his and brought you over to the wide ledge, big enough for the two of you to sit on without the fear of falling off. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
 You paused, eyes growing wide. He stared back at you as he hoisted himself up on the ledge. He took a sip of his coffee before asking, “Why are you staring at me like that?”
 You shook your head, setting your coffee beside of him before bringing yourself up to sit on the ledge yourself.
 “Nothing,” You said. “You just reminded me of someone.”
 “Ah.” He stared at you for a moment longer before he slipped his jacket off and wrapped it around your shoulders. You opened your mouth to protest, but he placed his finger against your parted lips, which was more than enough to shut you up.
 “Just accept an act of kindness, would you?” He said, zipping his jacket up over you. You watched him as he did so, noticing the way his chocolate eyes sparkled in the midst of the cloudy night.
 You swallowed, averting your gaze. “Thank you.”
 “You’re very welcome. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
 It was quiet then, but not in an uncomfortable way. You enjoyed sitting beside of him in the silence, watching the lights of campus below you, feeling the warmth from his jacket spread over your chilled skin.
 “Actually, Y/N, there’s something that’s been bothering me,” Beomgyu said, breaking the silence.
 You turned to face him, curious. “What is it?”
 For the first time since you had met him, Beomgyu looked nervous. He picked at the skin around his nails, doing everything he could to keep his eyes from meeting yours.
 “Remember how you asked me if I sang? When we were locked in the orchestra room?” His voice was a bit quieter than it had been before.
 “Yeah, you said you didn’t.”
 “Right. Well, that—that was a lie,” He blurted, seeming to regret his words the second they had left his mouth. “Well, not a blatant lie, because I don’t sing anymore. But I used to.”
 You were a bit confused, but seeing how nervous he was, you decided not to ask him why he would lie about such a seemingly trivial topic.
 “What made you stop?” You asked carefully, not wanting to upset him.
 He hesitated, wringing his hands together. After taking a deep breath, he spoke again.
 “My father and I used to sing together,” He began. “I taught myself how to play the guitar, but he was the one who taught me how to sing. He loved to sing, more than anything else, and he always told me that I had a brilliant voice. He said it would be a shame to keep such a voice to myself.”
 He smiled fondly as he spoke of his father, and you couldn’t help but smile as well. The joy slowly faded from his expression, however, as he began to speak again.
 “I lost him two years ago,” He said quietly, voice thick with emotions that caused your heart to clench. “He was in a bad car accident. I was doing really well here, in vocals and guitar. But when I lost him, I just . . . I couldn’t sing anymore. I tried, I really did. I just couldn’t do it.”
 “Oh, Beomgyu,” You whispered, gently placing your hand over his trembling one.
 “It’s pathetic, isn’t it?” He sniffed, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “Singing was the one thing he wanted me to do, and now that he’s gone, I’m failing at it.”
 “No, Beomgyu,” You said, your voice firm as you squeezed his hand. “It’s not pathetic at all. You’re doing the best you can, and you’re still here. And most importantly, you tried. That’s what matters.”
 He brought his eyes back to yours then, glistening with moisture in the moonless, starless night. He smiled at you then, and you smiled back.
 “Y/N.”
 “Hm?”
 “Have I told you yet that you’re really, really beautiful?”
 Your breath caught in your throat, and you froze, feeling the blood rush to your cheeks. You were frozen for a moment before you scoffed, pulling your hand away from his and tucking it into your lap.
 “I thought you were going to start being more serious,” You mumbled, refusing to look at him. “Stop messing around.”
 Then, he moved closer to you, placing one arm behind you while he brought the other to rest against your cheek, gently turning your face towards his. He leaned in, so close that his breath brushed against your skin. He smelled of citrus and vanilla, and you found yourself leaning closer to him.
 He glanced at your lips, then met your eyes once again.
 “What makes you think I’m not being serious?”
 His lips were soft when they pressed against yours, and it felt as though your heart would burst right out of your chest. You allowed your eyes to fall shut as he gently moved his mouth against yours, slowly tucking a piece of hair behind your ear as he did so, before allowing his fingers to gently trace their way along your cheek, then your jaw, until he rested his hand against your neck, pulling you a tiny bit closer to him.
 He broke the kiss for a fleeting moment, just to open his eyes so he could look into yours. You liked the flecks of light that beamed in his irises, as though his eyes were made of starlight. He smiled, allowing his nose to brush against yours as his eyes moved back down to your lips. Once again, he closed the distance between you, capturing your lips with his for the second time. He tasted like coffee and cheap cherry chap-stick—and odd combination, but you didn’t mind as you brought your arms around his neck and shifted closer to him, twisting your head to the side as you moved your lips in time with his.
 The moment was unexpected, to say the least. But perhaps that was what made it feel that much more magical.
 At least, it was magical until you felt scalding hot liquid splash all over the side of your leg, seeping through the fabric of your jeans to burn your skin.
 You gasped against Beomgyu’s lips before pulling away, staring wide eyed at your jeans that were now stained with coffee. Your cup, which had been sitting between the two of you, was now knocked on its side, the contents drained.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Beomgyu said frantically. His lips were shining from the aftermath of your kiss, his freckled cheeks and nose red as a cherry. He gently pressed his hands against your leg, pulling them back when you winced from the impact. “Oh god—I’m sorry, I forgot that it was there and I was leaning in and I knocked it over and—”
 You laughed at how flustered he had become, amused by this side of him that you hadn’t seen before. You grabbed his face and pulled him towards you, pressing your lips against his in a swift kiss, effectively shutting him up.
 “It’s okay, Beomgyu,” You said once you pulled away, letting your hands fall from his face. “I guess you just owe me another coffee.”
 The goofy lopsided grin you had grown accustomed to took place of the frightened expression he had worn just moments before. He hopped off the ledge, extending his hand towards you to help you down.
 “Come on, partner. Let’s get you cleaned up.”
 -
 IT WAS THE DAY OF THE OPEN HOUSE, AND YOU WERE SLIGHTLY UNNERVED BY HOW WELL THINGS WERE GOING.
 You had hoped that everything would go smoothly. The past few weeks, you had spent all your time and energy making sure that the event would be as close to perfect as possible.
 Well, you had also spent a bit of time with Beomgyu, but only when you had the time to spare, of course.
 The performers were all setting up; the drama department was working on setting up the stage props, as they would be going first, and they were busy rehearsing with the orchestra for how they could effectively move the props to make room for the instruments in a timely fashion. Yeonjun was rushing about, directing them with the grace and efficiency only he could pull off.
 Everything was going perfectly. You should have just been happy about that, but for some reason, it felt as though you were just waiting for something to go terribly wrong.
 “Y/N.” You turned at the sound of Beomgyu’s voice, smiling as he walked towards you. He was dressed in a white button up shirt that he tucked into a pair of black jeans. His sleeves were pushed up a bit, exposing his forearms.
 “Everything okay?” You asked once he had reached you. You glanced at the members of the band, who were talking in hushed voices right behind Beomgyu. Your eyes narrowed when you noticed that something was amiss. “Where’s Soobin? Is he on his way?”
 Beomgyu sighed, running a hand through his already messy curls. “That’s what I was coming to talk to you about. He’s sick—he won’t be able to make it. I just got a text from him.”
 You blinked slowly, trying to process what you had just been told. Soobin was the main vocalist for the band. Without him, or someone to fill his position, there would be no performance.
 You quickly walked over to the band, desperately trying to think of something to fix the situation, and Beomgyu was following right behind you.
 “Can any of you do lead vocals in Soobin’s place?” You asked.
 “No,” the main guitarist said, looking just as stressed out as you were. “We’d have to change the entire key for it to fit my range, and even if we had time to do that—which we don’t—we wouldn’t have any backup vocals.”
 You pinched the bridge of your nose, squeezing your eyes shut. “There’s got to be something we can do to replace him. We can’t just take the band performance out.”
 “How about Beomgyu?”
 Your eyes flew open at the sound of Yeonjun’s voice, and you whirled around to see him standing behind you.
“When did you get there?” You asked.
 “A minute or so ago,” He said, striding forward so that he stood on the other side of you. “But seriously, everyone knows Beomgyu can sing. He used to do it all the time. Why not have him take Soobin’s place?”
 “It would make sense,” the guitarist said, his face lighting up with a glint of hope. “He’s been here for all the practices—I mean, he even wrote the song!”
 You turned your eyes towards Beomgyu, worry overtaking you in an instant when you saw his expression. All the color had drained from his face, his lips pulled between his teeth. His hands were trembling, and he refused to meet your gaze.
 “Beomgyu,” You said quietly, taking his shaky hand in your steady one. “You don’t have to. We can figure something else out—”
 “I’ll think about it,” He said, eyes finally finding yours. He did his best to force a smile, but it was so strained, your worry only grew at the sight. “Just . . . can you give me a little while?”
 You nodded, squeezing his hand. “Of course.”
 He slipped away from you then, disappearing behind the stage. Your eyes followed him until you couldn’t see him any longer, worry creasing your brows.
 “What was that about?” Yeonjun asked, stepping a bit closer to you. “I understand not wanting to force anyone to do something last minute, but we don’t really have many options.”
 “There’s more to it than that,” You said quietly. “Just trust me, okay? And if he says he can’t do it, he can’t. We are not going to force him to do this.”
 Yeonjun still looked confused, but he simply shrugged. “Whatever you say, captain. But just so you know, if he can’t do it, you’re gonna be the one singing in Soobin’s place. And trust me, no one wants to hear that.”
 You fought the urge to flip him off as he walked away, wondering why on earth you still kept him around as your best friend.
 The rest of the preparations went on, and soon, the audience had begun to fill the auditorium. You hadn’t seen Beomgyu since that moment during rehearsals, and you were beginning to grow worried.
 You stood in the right wing of the stage as the show began with the drama department. You tried to focus on the performance—it was amazing, of course, especially since Yeonjun played a lead role in the scene they had chosen. Everyone knew he was an amazing actor. However, rather than being able to enjoy the show, you could only think about where Beomgyu was and wonder if he was doing alright, your stomach twisting itself into knots as the seconds ticked by.
 By the time the drama students were finished, the audience standing to clap for their flawless performance, you had bitten your nails down to nubs as you grew increasingly worried. Yeonjun rushed over to you when he left the stage, smiling widely as he stretched his arms out to his sides. “How’d we do?”
 “Hm?” You snapped out of your daze, shaking your head as you gave him two thumbs up. “Oh—wonderful. You guys were great. Hey, will you make sure everything goes well with the orchestra? I have to go find Beomgyu.”
 “Well why don’t you stay here and I’ll go find him—”
 “Nope, I’ve got it! Thanks best friend, you’re the greatest!” You gave him a quick hug before he could say anything else, quickly rushing out of the auditorium. You made your way down a few hallways, taking a couple of turns until you had reached one of the dressing rooms. You knew this was where Beomgyu had been getting ready because his guitar case was propped against the wall outside of it, so you hoped he was still inside.
 You knocked on the door. “Beomgyu? Are you in there?”
 It was silent, but you heard someone sniffle from behind the door. You sighed, leaning against the wood. “You don’t have to say anything, okay? But just hear me out.”
 There was no response, but you could have sworn you felt someone leaning against the door from the other side.
 “I know you may feel like you have to pressure yourself to do this, but you don’t,” You said gently. “Nobody is going to be disappointed if you can’t get up there to sing. Not me, not Yeonjun, not the band.”
 You paused, biting your lip before you continued. “Your father wouldn’t be upset either, Beomgyu. The fact that you’re willing to even think about doing something this hard just to help out shows just how great of a person you are. He would be so, so proud of you. I’m proud of you, too. Whether or not you get up there and sing tonight, I’m proud of you. Okay?”
 You stayed there, waiting in silence for a moment longer before you pushed away from the door, walking back towards the auditorium.
 The orchestra was almost finished with their set by the time you returned to the wing. Yeonjun and the band were waiting with anticipation when you returned, eyes wide and searching behind you, probably hoping that Beomgyu was close behind.
 “Is he coming?” Yeonjun asked.
 You sighed, shaking your head slowly. “I don’t think so. We’ll just have to call off the band’s performance, but it’ll be okay—”
 “That won’t be necessary.”
 You turned at the sound of Beomgyu’s voice, unable to help the big smile that overtook your face. You hurried towards him, grabbing both his hands in your own.
 “Are you sure?” You asked. “You know you don’t have to—”
 “I know I don’t,” he said with a smile. “But I want to.”
 He leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss against your forehead. “Thank you. For everything.”
 He went up to talk to the band after that, leaving you a blushing mess. The orchestra had just finished their set and were busy making way for the band. Yeonjun walked to your side as Beomgyu and the rest of the band took their places on the stage.
 “Did he just kiss you?” Your best friend asked. For some reason, he didn’t sound surprised.
 Dumbfounded, you brought your hand to your forehead and nodded, unable to speak. Yeonjun laughed at you, causing you to snap out of your daze so you could punch him lightly in the shoulder.
 Once the band had finished getting ready, Beomgyu cleared his throat, tapping the mic before leaning forward to speak into it.
 “Hello everyone, thanks for coming out tonight. My name is Choi Beomgyu, and these lovely people surrounding me are some of the many talented musicians in our music department.” He paused when the audience clapped, waiting until the applause died down before he spoke again. “To wrap up this showcase, we’ll be performing a song I wrote myself. I wrote this about someone I met a long, long time ago.”
 He turned his head to the side then, making eye contact with you from the stage. He smiled, not taking his gaze away from yours. He looked heavenly in the light cast from the spotlight, strands of his black hair seeming to turn silver beneath the glow, his golden skin shining brighter than ever. You were sure that if you were close enough, you would see the star-like sparkles in his eyes that you had grown to adore.
 “I hope she remembers me, even after all this time.”
 “Is he talking about you?” Yeonjun whispered into your ear, noticing the direction of Beomgyu’s stare. “You guys just met like, a month ago.”
 You were just as confused as your best friend, so in response, you simply shrugged, unsure of what was going on. He was definitely talking to you, but you had no idea what he was referring to.
 “I hope she remembers me, even after all this time.”
 You racked your brain, trying desperately to think of what he could mean. Had you met him before? Did he remember you from somewhere, from a memory that had somehow slipped your mind?
 The music began to play, and you took a step closer to the stage, eyes narrowed, ready to focus on the lyrics, wanting more than anything to remember what Beomgyu was talking about.
 “In moments like those, when tears fill your eyes, hold my hand tight. Should we run away?”
 Your eyes went wide. You stumbled back, reaching up to hold your head in your hands.
 “Y/N?” Yeonjun’s voice was distant, overpowered by the sound of the honey sweet voice that filled the air. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”
 You gasped, hands tangling in your hair as the singing continued.
 “Be my forever, call my name. Run away, run away, run away with me.”
 Your head was ringing. Not only were these words the same ones you had heard in your head the night you were locked in the classroom with Beomgyu, but the voice—Beomgyu’s voice—was the same one you had heard day and night while growing up.
 It was your soulmates voice.
 You knew it was, not just because of the lyrics or the familiarity of the voice. You knew it was your soulmate because you didn’t just hear the words and the notes of the song, you felt them. Every inch of your being felt as though it had been struck by lightning. The voice filled up all of your senses, overpowering you in the most beautiful way imaginable.
 But it was too much. His voice coming through the loudspeakers paired with it ringing inside your head built up so much pressure that it caused your vision to blur. You quickly stumbled out of the auditorium, fumbling your way through the front doors that led outside.
 You sat down on the pavement, taking deep breaths as your mind began to calm down. No longer overwhelmed by all that was going on around you, you closed your eyes, listening to Beomgyu’s voice as it filled your mind.
 “Don’t wanna stay, now we can go. Take me now to the magic named ‘us.’”
 With those words, the voice died down, and you were surrounded by silence.
 You simply sat there for several moments, your eyes remaining closed as you tried to understand everything that had just happened to you.
 Beomgyu was your soulmate.
 Beomgyu was your soulmate, and he was alive.
 Bit by bit, you started to piece things together. The night of your thirteenth birthday, the day before you heard his voice for the first time. You had met the boy with sparkling eyes and a lopsided grin in the hotel parking lot. He had offered you his coat, and then his hand.
 “I hope she remembers me,” Beomgyu had said.
 You smiled to yourself, placing your hand over your heart as it beat fiercely against your chest.
 “Yes, Beomgyu. I do remember you.”
 “Y/N!”
 Your eyes flew open at the sound of the door being thrown open behind you. You turned to see Beomgyu barreling towards you, practically collapsing to the ground in front of you. He took your face in his hands, eyes frantically searching yours.
 “Are you okay?” He asked, his fingers gently running along the length of your cheeks.
 You nodded, smiling even though tears began to pool in your eyes. “Beomgyu,” You said quietly, lifting your hands to hold his wrists. “You knew, didn’t you?”
 “Knew what?”
 “That you’re my soulmate.”
 He paused, the worry in his face slowly being replaced by a wide, sparkling smile.
 “So you finally figured it out, huh?” He said, brushing a strand of your hair back behind your ear. “If you didn’t figure it out after tonight, I wasn’t sure how else I was supposed to show you.”
 You laughed, a tear slipping down your cheek as you tightened your grip on his wrists. His expression changed once again, brows knit with concern. “Are—are you crying? What’s wrong?”
 “No, nothing, it’s fine,” You assured him, resting your forehead against his. “I’m just happy. I’m so, so happy, Beomgyu.”
 He sighed with relief, wrapping his arms around you in a hug, pulling you snugly into his chest. His chin rested on top of your head as you slipped your arms around his middle, pulling him even closer than he already was.
 “I was a little worried that you’d be disappointed when you found out it was me,” He said with a light laugh.
 You shook your head against his chest, snuggling even closer to him. “Of course not. You’re exactly who I hoped it would be, Choi Beomgyu.”
 The two of you stayed like that for a bit longer before Beomgyu pulled away and stood up in front of you.
 The boy with stars for eyes and a smile that outshone the moon stretched his hand out towards you, fingers shaking from the cold, cheeks flushed from your embrace.
 “Should we run away?” He asked.
 This time, you placed your hand in his and let him pull you to your feet.
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chihirolovebot · 2 years ago
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hey venus! i hope you've been doing well these days, and if not, i hope things get better for you soon! remember to drink water, eat something, and take any meds you need to if you haven't already!
hmmmm, maybe for the ask meme... how about yttd for the fandom? or if not, maybe shin tsukimi for the character? ( i ask mainly bc i am. torn between multiple fixations but he's been on my mind today )
take care of yourself, my friend. i'm rooting for you <3
-☀️ sunshine
hi rei!!! im doing good recently, thank u for asking :* i also hope you're taking care of urself otherwise i will appear wherever it is that u live and make u (threat .)
your turn to die:
favourite character: SARA and SHIN they are everything to me and i mean it when i say i cannot pick between them <3333
least favourite character: i actually dont dislike ANY of the characters excpt the ones ur supposed to hate. so maybe anzu or hayasaka since they were the most boring 2 me.
5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): ransara, keishin, alishin, naoreko, ryojoe :D there r in fact my only ships and keishin is a bit of a stretch.
character i find most attractive: keiji and it makes me SICK!!!! or kai or alice or reko they r also so fine.
character i would marry: kai househusband material.
character i would be best friends with: sara PLEASE i wanna be her best friends she's so cool.
a random thought: i kinda hate when people compare it to dr but i am also a hypocrite bc i will take any given opportunity to scream about how much better than dr it is so.
an unpopular opinion: i really dont like joesara romantically.
my canon otp: hm, i guess ryojoe? ransara was the closest thing to being canon but they werent quite i dont think.
my non-canon otp: see above :(
most badass character: SARA by a fucking mile it is not close.
most epic villain: god. midori. chews live wires.
pairing i am not a fan of: joesara. um reko and nao with anyone that isn't each other. and obviously all the gross ones like keisara, shinkanna, sarakanna etc. i beg u seek therapy.
character i feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): not screwed up really? but anzu and hayasaka definitely didnt get much time to shine and i think its kind of a shame.
favourite friendship: joesara :((( also alice and reko.
character i most identify with: nao!!
character i wish i could be: probablyyyy sara.
003 | Give me a character & I will tell you:
how i feel about this character: how do i even fucking begin. he has it all. the skrunkliest most pathetic man ever. the wet cat of all wet cats. and yet. he is so brilliantly written. he is so tragic. he is a total fucking loser. he is smarter than everyone else. he was doomed from the start. he will win the game. he is everything to me. i want to punch him in the fucking face.
any/all the people i ship romantically with this character: keiji, alice and kurumada.
my favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: him and sara's rivalry is SO GOOD.
my unpopular opinion about this character: i do not have one. he is everyone's favourite and that is correct.
one thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: i want to know more abt his relationship with midori to be honest.
favorite friendship for this character: kanna :(((
my crossover ship: dont have one i fear.
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What're some of your favorite moments between Doof and Perry during Phineas and Ferb?
youtube
You have absolutely no idea how fucking long I spent making this video fhdsjahkjaf I’m gonna gush under the cut about why I liked each one so y’all don’t have to deal with me if you don’t want to lol
These are in no particular order. They’re just numbered to line up with the reasoning. I added lil descriptions to each of them but you’ll probably have to either watch the video first or have a pretty good memory of the show to understand them lol
1. “Dr. Wexler, you’re a platypus?” (A Hard Day’s Knight)
Literally just the way he says, “Dr. Wexler, you’re a platypus?”
2. “Is every platypus named Perry?” and then Perry bites him (AT2D)
M O N C H (also Heinz calls him cute) (also also “We do not bite the elderly!”)
3. Perry tries to fly him and Heinz home from the desert but Heinz flips the turbo switch and they lose the jetpack (Road to Danville)
“Like you didn’t know about my switch-flipping compulsion!” They’re literally an old married couple omfg I can’t even (also moment of appreciation for the fact that they’re close enough that Heinz just assumes Perry knows about his switch-flipping compulsion) (another moment of appreciation because Perry probably does)
4. The end of the Perry/Doof subplot of Terrifying Tri-State Trilogy of Terror
First of all, the way Perry decides to run under his giant floating head when going around would take two extra seconds? Beautiful. And, of course, Perry’s fucking smirk because that’s just not his problem lmaooo
5. The pause in the FIGHT FIGHT IT’S A PLATYPUS FIGHT (Doofapus)
I love that they literally just stop mid-fight to have tea. I firmly believe there is no other pair of nemeses that would do that and this is just how Heinz and Perry work. Also, Perry’s smile? He feels so understood? It’s so pure?
6. Vanessa lets Perry in before he can break down the door with his rocket launcher and then Perry accidentally shoots it through the wall (My Sweet Ride)
“This is why I can never have anything nice -_-”
7. Heinz doesn’t trap Perry (Road to Danville)
He’s so confused fjdahfksdhfak he literally goes out of his way to get trapped at that point (even if he pretends he doesn’t) and Heinz flipped the script on him without telling him and his lil shrug is so cute and I just jsfhkjadhsk
8. There’s a Platypus Controlling Me (Brain Drain)
You had to know this one was gonna be there
9. “In your letters, you said your nemesis was a suave, semi-aquatic personification of unstoppable dynamic fury” (Oil on Candace)
The fact that Heinz sent his ex-professor a letter gushing about his nemesis is just *chef’s kiss*
10. Perry and Dennis are fighting in giant puppets in the street and Heinz recognizes Perry piloting the puppet because of his fighting style (The Return of the Rogue Rabbit)
I’m pretty sure this is the only time Heinz ever recognizes Perry without his hat on (correct me if I’m wrong tho) and the fact that it’s literally just because Perry punched the fuckin camera kills me every time
11. Heinz is worried they won’t make his play in time so Perry tells him to flip the turbo switch (Road to Danville)
Perry just trusts him so much??? Flipping the switch was what got them into that mess in the first place??? But Perry cares so much about Heinz making his LOVEMUFFIN play that he’s willing to give it another go??? I love it???
12. DANCE BABY DANCE BABY HANDS IN THE AIR (Candace Disconnected)
I feel like we don’t get to see Perry just kinda hanging out like that a lot. He’s always doing that steely glare, even when they’re having fun. I don’t think Perry really realizes how emotionless he can look sometimes (the beginning and end of Sidetracked are from Perry’s POV especially at the end, the way he acts with the boys shows too much character for a secret agent, so even though he seems to think it’s obvious that he’s all lovey dovey with them, he does much too good a job at hiding his emotions) but it’s nice to see him drop the facade every now and then
13. Heinz calls Monogram because Perry hasn’t shown up (Perry the Actorpus)
I know Perry’s not technically in this one but I love that Heinz a) calls OWCA when Perry doesn’t show up and b) looks so nervous as he calls OWCA because Perry hasn’t shown up
14. Perry brings Heinz a glass of water (Road to Danville)
Half this episode is just them being mad at each other because they blame the other one for sticking them in the desert with way home, and I love that even though Perry’s been fuming pretty much the entire time, the second Heinz actually starts yelling at him, he’s immediately hit with a wave of guilt (also I love that he somehow found a glass of water in the middle of the desert?)
15. “YOU PEED ON MY COUCH!” (AT2D)
Not gonna lie, I mostly picked this one for shits and giggles BUT that doesn’t mean I can’t overanalyze it because that’s what I do best. Perry’s whole role in the show is to tie together the two completely unrelated plots, and that’s only so entertaining because not only does neither side know the other, but neither side knows what version of Perry the other side knows. This is the first time Heinz has really connected mindless pet Perry with Agent P Perry, and I feel like that was the most interesting part of the movie was that Phineas, Ferb, Candace, and Heinz all saw a side of Perry they didn’t know. 
16. Heinz invites Perry out for lunch (The Quietest Day Ever)
Heinz doesn’t even know he got hit with the de-handsome-inator. He literally just thinks he lost, and his immediate reaction is to ask if Perry wants to hang out. I just love those lil insights into their relationship when they’re not fighting. Also, perry.exe has stopped working.
17. Honestly just all of Father’s Day
I hate knowing that chronologically, Father’s Day had to happen probably less than halfway through the summer and not towards the end like it does in the episode order. It’s such a sweet turning point in their relationship. Perry’s head all these horrible backstories about Mr. Doofenshmirtz and I can only assume he hates the guy, but he’s still so supportive of Heinz trying to win his approval -- and he’s supportive when that fails and Heinz needs someone to lean on.
18. Perry Lays An Egg
T H W A R T   M E   P E R R Y   T H E   P L A T Y P U S 
19. Heinz proving he knows how to shut the fuck up by refusing to shut the fuck up (Road to Danville)
Perry’s literally about to fight a bitch and I can’t blame him. I also like the lil look into Heinz’s thoughts with the “it’s not like I have to fill the space” line because it really explains a lot about him.
20. Perry waiting for the New Year’s ball to drop and for Heinz to finish his scheme (Happy New Year!)
Once again, a beautiful look at how their entire relationship is based on their routine and knowing what to expect. It wouldn’t be Heinz and Perry if there was not punching and kicking involved. (Also, Perry’s smug face while he waits) (Also also, Perry’s lil shrug)
21. Heinz invites Perry to hang out in his house in the suburbs (Put That Putter Away)
GIVE PERRY A DAY OFF (but for real I love that Heinz literally just asked if he wanted to hang out, AND that he assured Perry that he’d make sure he didn’t get in trouble with Monogram for it)
22. The end of Sidetracked
THEY? HOLD? HAND???
23. “The thing that’s kept me from succeeding all these years is YOU!” *turns finger around* (Road to Danville)
PERRY IS SO DONE WITH HIS SHlT I CAN’T FDJAFHDJLSFHDSAKJ
24. Roger tries to say hi to sleeping Perry (Just Our Luck)
How often does Perry have to fall asleep around Heinz for the guy to know he gets testy when someone wakes him up?
25. The brief New Year’s dance break (Happy New Year!)
THEIR DANCING IS SO FAST AND SO IN SYNC EITHER THEY REHEARSED THIS OR THEY JUST KNOW EACH OTHER SO WELL THAT IT JUST HAPPENS NATURALLY AND I WOULD DIE FOR THEM OKAY
26. Perry accidentally became famous for advertising tools and then shows up at DEI (Perry the Actorpus)
He’s so happy to see his nemesis again :,)
27. “You think I’m evil, right?” *finger guns* (Oil on Candace)
Perry is at least partially responsible for how horribly that day went, but that’s his job is to make sure evil scientists don’t impress other evil scientists. You don’t want, like, an evil scientist team up or whatever. But I’m decently sure there’s nothing in the job description that says Perry has to stick around and assure his nemesis that he’s good at being evil, so that’s all Perry’s doing.
28. Perry pulled an all nighter and shows up at DEI asleep and Heinz has to try not to wake him up (Just Our Luck)
The amount of respect it takes for Heinz to see his nemesis sleeping on the job and go out of his way not to wake him up (but to make sure he’s still included, of course; he’s not a disrespectful guy, even if he is evil) warms my heart
29. Perry shows Heinz a bunch of their pictures together (This Is Your Backstory)
a) I love that Perry carries those pictures in his wallet 
b) I love that those pictures exist at all
 c) I love that Heinz has enjoyed his nemesisship with Perry so much that it basically negates every tragic backstory
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vaguely-concerned · 4 years ago
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X-men Evolution; the great 2021 rewatch liveblog
exactly what it says on the tin, about halfway through the show I had TOO MANY FEELINGS and had to start writing some of them out haha (gets quite gambit & rogue/gambit heavy in the latter half, Because of Who I Am as a Person)
- this is my childhood’s x-men, my formative experience with them, and I’m happy to report that still seems like a good thing. the little eleven year old within me gets to geek out and have a good time with the characters and the surprisingly good animation and writing, adult me gets to CACKLE at regular intervals at the fashion/technology/absolute bonkers hot garbage comic book nonsense they use to justify a storyline every now and then, it’s been a good time 
- I was like ‘ah well it is super dated it probably won’t be quite the same now’ and then rogue’s HAIR did the THING in the opening and ‘it’s all coming back to me now’ started playing in the background... the little baby queer in me swooning across time and space
- such a good beast, both his design and the writing, my heart aches for him all the time. he’s just so passionate! about being a teacher! helping young humans learn the stuff they’ll need in life! the most wonderful nerd man, just let good things happen for him
- I’m going to go ahead and assume that rogue’s ‘crush’ on scott is more of a deeply complex psychological process about desiring normalcy and intimacy and trying to figure out if she’s queer and dealing with her emerging sexuality and latching on to the first and best safely unavailable and nonthreatening older boy to project these issues onto rather than actually being a real thing, because I respect her so much as a person and I cannot bring myself to imagine she’s honestly attracted to a man who has POSTERS OF CARS on his bedroom wall. (I’ll give jean a break just because she seems to have a longer deeper history with him that might counteract some of that libido-kill, and also she’s a jock so lol)
like I am very sorry but can u imagine being a teenage girl with any interest in a boy with model cars in his bedroom when gambit’s swanning around being a much, much, much worse choice on almost every possible level but in a teen girl kryptonite kind of way? inconceivable  
(I drag scott quite a few times in this and it’s not because I don’t love him, it’s just his tragedy to be the most draggable man in the world)
to be fair by the time gambit shows up that whole Situation has mostly played itself out I suppose but still  
- toad’s design is so ineffably brilliant, I can’t quite tell you why but that ugly cute charm has really stuck with me, he’s one of the characters I remembered the best to this day just visually
- poor evan... he truly never had a chance, did he, they just saddled him with the most 90s teen bullshit they could come up with like he’s some kind of ‘what adult writers think teens like’ frankenstein’s monster ;______; it’s not your fault honey
- poor poor POOR storm, she gets one focus episode and they were like ‘we’re going to make an episode so racist -- ‘
I’m still STUNNED at how bad it was, but undeniably I laughed hysterically to the point that my neighbours were probably worried when that dude was earnestly like ‘He [stunningly breathlessly racist caricature of a ‘witch doctor’ guy] has stolen her powers, and he’s going to use them to take over Africa!!!’ fhajsdlfhsakjldfh oh really? tell me more, like how the fUCK this could be on television within my life time fasdlfhsdkjfhsad f  just... fahjksdfh
- it’s a testament to gambit’s appeal as a character that his charm can survive what they’ve done with his hair and beard choices in this one fajskfhs regrettable but true I still fuckn LOVE him and in my highly biased yet Correct opinion he should have been around much more. get you a man who manages to stay hot through sheer Vibes even with a bowl cut
- aw scott/jean is kind of sweet in this show even if it’s taking them forEVER to get there, I like it 
- it’s very nice of rogue to not mention magneto’s romantic daydreams and nostalgic memories about charles xavier after touching his face that one time... or maybe her brain did her a service and repressed it, there’s some stuff you shouldn’t have to know about your father figure   
- the danger room is the very definition of ‘why do we even have that lever’ and I wonder what the fuck prof x does to have enough money to replace everything that gets busted all the time
- I’d say that a lot of the writing holds up surprisingly well! (but some of it is also incredibly inexcusably racist in ways that beggar belief, so... not full marks here) the characters have distinct voices and their arcs are set up and delivered on solidly for the most part, and there’s a lot of love showing through in small moments that are just there to have a funny/interesting thing to say about the characters and how their powers work separately and in combination. listen, sometimes I get so thirsty for like. basic goddamn competency in storytelling, let me have this
- ugggggh why is there captain america in my x-men have I not suffered enough... very very funny when prof x goes ‘sounds like you knew rogers personally’ and logan is like ‘I did ;)’ *all the students ganging up on steve rogers* “did you fuck our teacher, captain america?!”
- fskadfhas WHY are you showing me hot young-ified magneto’s ass fksjahfskj charles is not even here to see it, what a tragic waste erik 
- ...I was sort of kidding before but uh I think logan genuinely did fuck captain america (or at least wishes very much that he did lol)
- wanda can have a little watching the world burn. as a treat for the way every single adult in her life has fucking failed her (’aren’t they treating you well here’ professor x she’s in a straightjacket)  
- poor rogue tho can you imagine finding out after your biggest crush on a girl yet that she’s your fucking MOM in disguise... I would break out in cold sweat every time I thought about a boob forever after
- well seems like they really just had all that homoerotic rivalry stuff between quicksilver and spyke in their first ep only to never do anything with that again ever?? I mean even without the gay undertone that seems like a dynamic you spent most of an episode setting up writers what the hell haha
- dslhfkasjlh GAMBIT THERE HE IS MY BOY IS ON THE SCENE THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I don’t even care about his awful hair situation or the fact that his eyes are wrong here (coloured contact lenses, maybe, for a watsonian explanation? though he’d probably have to get them made special, considering he needs the sclera and the iris covered up in different ways, I’ve seen some comic panels indicating he has been known to?)
(cute little detail: when he shuffles the cards the first time we see him he ends with removing the top card to show the ace of hearts beneath <3 foreshadowing baBEY he’s a... good-ish boy deep down. hey he tries okay shit gets complicated sometimes lol) 
- cracking UP at gambit perched cheerily on the edge of a crate dispensing cards in the middle of the battle... he’s like ‘eh it’s a livin’ sfsajkhf remy stop working for supervillains just because you had nothing to do on a thursday afternoon and they said they’d pay you
- I’m guessing magneto must have imposed a strict order of silence on these guys or something because I cannot imagine any other reason for him to shut up, especially once he notices rogue is a QTE (or, far more likely, they hadn’t settled on any voice actors for the new characters until next season haha. it is kind of odd that they’re all keeping up near monastic silence, though, even sabertooth lol) 
- WHAT an epic first meeting for us rogue/gambit fans here... first his shadow like there’s fireworks going off behind him lighting him up and then he gives her the fuckn king of hearts and she’s so enchanted by his dumb handsome face she doesn’t even notice it’s about to blow up in her hands and it all happens in heavily meaningful silence afjsdfjashjk no wonder this ship ingrained itself in my hindbrain  
yeah look smug while you can remy she’s gonna have you on your knees one day and you’ll be happy about it lol
- god storm is so COOL, everything just fading out of focus when she really gets going... give her more screen time, show!!
- mystique is every person... this person... that person... that bird... that cat... that wolf... I’m not even sure she’s not also me... are you sure she’s not you? 
- holy fuck I respect the hell out of the decision to just... blow up the entire status quo in a season ender, I only vaguely remembered that (actually in general I appreciate how good the continuity is -- buildings and places that get damaged in battles need to be repaired or rebuilt, it makes the consequences feel more real even when no one gets seriously hurt. where they get the money to restore scott’s car and logan’s motorbikes every time they go cablooie is still an open question tho lol is it credit card fraud, professor? is it telepathically acquired blackmail???) 
- I first watched this when I was nine or so, so it’s a real experience to go from my starry eyed intrigued ‘oh my god... they’re teenagers’ to my horrified adult perspective of ‘oh my god... they’re TEENAGERS D:’
that goes double for the brotherhood boys honestly, I’m here with tears in my eyes like ‘I’m sorry the system has failed you so badly you’re all just a bunch of dumb kids whose caretakers clearly fucked up spectacularly’  
like lance is always waiting for mystique to come back because she’s the closest thing he has to a safe parental figure, may we speak about how crushingly depressing that is 
- rogue is so ready to throw hands at literally any moment and for that I love and treasure her immensely (I think getting to see her be so surly and unreasonable and sometimes difficult and jealous, like any teenager, meant a lot to me as a kid who was not really allowed to be any of these things, this version of the character has stayed with me so deeply. she holds on so fiercely to her right to feel what she feels and be what she is even when it’s ‘ugly’ or unreasonable, which I think plays in really interestingly with how her powers involve getting invaded by other people’s thoughts and memories to the point of overwhelming her own sense of self and the fact that she clearly has a lot of self-loathing and self-consciousness and confusion about her identity as well. I love her so much)  
- oooof this is the ‘the gang experience a microaggression’ episode huh (well more like macroagressions really)
hits a bit different with adult eyes and perspective huh
- hearing jean sound almost like a child when she says ‘that’s so unfair!’ somehow has me like ;______; -- she has to be so adult and responsible all the time, and having her be reduced to the kid she still is and should get to be in front of this awful awful man she could squash like a bug with the flick of a thought... ugh I’m Big Sad (it is funny that jean seemingly plays Every Sport tho djfhaskj)
- MY BOY IS BACK!!! this time with the duster coat and his eyes the right colour, im so happy (too bad about the subdued colour scheme tho; I adore his dumb bright pink getup with my whole heart)
it’s kind of adorable that he takes the time to take the bullies aside and go ‘I know these guys can’t wreck you without getting expelled, but I think you’ll find no law set down by god or man would stop me from doing so whenever I wanted to. so piss off and leave them alone’ lol he’s looking out for them, in his own way
- in this episode: remy lebeau wrangles some kids while looking bored yet mildly amused the whole time. what the fuck does magneto have on you for you to agree to this level of babysitting duty buddy
- fun detail I noticed b/c when I get a fave I hyperfixate: he gave rogue the king of hearts before, but he ‘introduces’ himself to the brotherhood here (lol) with the jack of hearts, probably to symbolize he’s here as someone who works for magneto in this setting and not as his own man? it’s a demotion he’s given himself there, anyway, might be he’s not very pleased about his current position huh 
- I like it when rogue and kitty team up, they’re not very effective together but their squabbling is so cute and non-aggressive 
- pietro is what draco malfoy would be if I ever found malfoy interesting to watch for even one moment, every time quicksilver talks I’m like ‘what wonderfully insufferable thing is going to come out of your mouth this time you little shit :’)’
- a) why are scott and logan shirtless for this scene? I am not complaining on the logan side of things at least but why and b) I laughed so hard I almost fell off my couch when scott asked logan if he’d ever been in love and he was like ‘once. she was the most beautiful bike I ever saw’ falsdfhaskjfhsakjlfhasklhjfd THE BEST VERSION OF WOLVERINE EVER, ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES 
- mystique’s sheer dedication to being a petty bitch is kind of inspirational tbh, almost makes me want to go on a completely bonkers and extra crusade of personal revenge myself  
- oooh they’re doing some genuinely cool things with vision/lack of vision in this one (it’s the scott left on his own in the desert without glasses one btw) even visually, dang! I’m so sad this show didn’t get more seasons than it did, honestly, it deserved it
- hell yeah jean wreck her, go get your man with the suspiciously specific clothing damage normally done to female characters 
awww :’) okay yeah they’re super sweet, I love the tiny loving animation details like how he leans his head against her and her stroking his hair away from his eyes
- nooo don’t bully evan leave my t0tally r4dical sk8er boy alone :(
- I love the running joke of people fleeing in blind panic only to reveal that what they’re running from is kitty’s cheerful well meaning little face fskfaskh 
- scott and jean are already peak married after officially being together for one episode and it’s adorable, and they just stone cold threw logan under the bus, rip wolverine we hardly knew ya
fjasdlfasldfhslajdkfhsadkjlfhsdkjalfhsdakfh h jean establishing herself as the alphabitch of this relationship by throwing her man to the wolves right after dsjfhaskjfhaskjhfsakjdhfaskjhfaskdhfskjahfskdajhf get smarter or get volunteered scott 
- ...eyepatch lady is so hot ngl
oh evan went to the place hank used to go to calm down ;________; (honestly he’s kind of won a place in my heart just by being a pretty normal teenage boy haha)
- jesus fucking CHRIST can you imagine being storm having to look her sister in the eye as she tells her ‘I lost your only child, he’s *vague gesture* somewhere in the sewers we think’ this poor woman
- amanda the self admitted monster fucker you are so VALID (I love her and her family’s design so much tho!)
- it’s so cool that even in his human ‘disguise’ kurt’s fingers follow the shape of his actual hand beneath it rather than moving like a five fingered hand, it’s such a lovingly consistent little detail 
- magneto and mystique in a breathless race to see who can be the shittiest parent... tune in next week for yet another parental nadir (also some low-poly gambit appearances in this one, for those at home keeping score (me), he’s in the background looking like someone drew him with their eyes closed fakjldfhasd look how they massacred my boy)
- someone please teach the brotherhood boys about consent huh
- jean ‘soccer mom before her time’ grey and her SUV dfhakjlhds :’)
- im sobbing rogue baby girl i’m so sorryyyyyy, this voice actress is so good, my parental instincts suddenly kicked into overdrive hearing the crack in her voice :( (bb me was right tho rogue centric episodes ARE the best episodes. that tension between ‘do I identify witn this character or am I crushing on her?? both???’ now has the fun new addition of ‘oh god oh no you are a baby I want to shield you with my body from everything trying to hurt you’)
- mystique is like ‘so you see despite you telling me you never wanted to see me again I completely disrespected that and posed as a friend your age, manipulated you by offering you the mirage of direly needed emotional intimacy and belonging and added some sprinkles of homoerotic tension to it just to massively worsen your already existing grievous psychosexual trauma and identity issues... out of love’
god go jump in a black hole you fucking monster 
- there’s some very interesting and quite subtle subtext about the people she’s morphing into and what that says about her mental state/how it shows off some of her emotional baggage with the rest of the team. it’s like she’s switching between people/powers that fit the purpose as if she’s going through cycles of fight/flight (and then bursts of freeze where she’s herself, which is... so sad)
- this whole episode is hurting my heart but rogue at full power is undeniably epic  
 - ‘professor x get your goddamn act together and get this poor girl some fucking tHERAPY’ challenge
- SAFE PAPA LOGAN ;_____;
- EYYYYYY opening straight on My Lad, I cannot stop winning!!!!! 
fasdfhsad disintegrating the window with a smiley face... remy I do love you more than my heart can bear honestly, hello may we speak about the fact that his urge to be a little shit is so deep and strong it survives mind control (that little breathed out ‘hiah!’ as he vaults the fence too dsakfjsd)
hahaha and he does up the coat fhsalfdsaj 
- magneto dismissing other telepaths like ‘puh-lease, your Meaningful Looks have got nothing on my ex-husband’s’ 
- :’) rogue and kurt sibling timeees
- say what you want but this pyro guy’s got job satisfaction in being a creepy arsonist with a weird recurring horse theme (well at least twice but still weird)
- I love how beast is the kindest man to ever walk the earth but also straight up savage, this man drags people so hard their ancestors wince in their graves
- gambit taking the time to complete the guard’s game of solitaire -- this episode is giving me everything I want. u little disgrace mr lebeau
and THEN he takes the spider out in the most hilariously bonkers way my heart is so FULL
(I love that when magneto moves by he looks startled and has to quickly move his head out of the way to avoid getting kicked in the temple too that’s a fun detail)
I’m so INTO how this sequence shows off that his greatest strength isn’t even his powers (which are pretty straightforward, really, he makes go boom, longer time and bigger thing bigger boom) but that he’s clever and creative and always extremely ready to be the most harebrained-bananapants-extra-in-a-deceptively-laidback-sort-of-way person in the room (I actually have some genuinely Deep Thoughts about how his whole character does a really interesting thing with having the straightforwardly destructive nature of his powers yield to what his nature as a person is, and how using the playing cards play (heh) into it, maybe I’ll write it out some day. just the fact that he could use anything, but he deliberately chose something that adds style and playfulness and corny charm to it and that also limits the damage of the explosions compared to if he habitually used something with more mass... I find it fascinating how much he’s made a story around himself with it and how deeply it shows he does have a good heart, at the end of the day, in almost a metatextual way. he doesn’t want to destroy things or people, he’s at worst (and best lol) a thief.)
- I honestly have literally no memory of white nick fury (which seems so weird now isn’t it funny) in this series from when I was a kid, he clearly did not make an impression on me lol
- mr wolverine ‘assigned canadian at birth’ x-men 
- oh man I dig the androgynity of x-23′s outfit (even tho they had to compensate with the long hair, which... kind of doesn’t make sense in-universe but does on a design level because it’s a crucial thing that she’s a female clone of logan so yeah okay fine whatever have your arbitrary gender markers if you must haha)
ooooooh that’s actually really clever, they make her gender gradually more obvious as she unravels through the episode and her outfit changes -- first the mask coming off, and then her jacket opening to show her silhouette more clearly, that’s cool!  
- my god what really sets this show apart is how much it invests in little character and relationship moments, it’s just so fucking GOOD! it gives laura looking in on those moments such depth and weight because it’s new to her but established to us as an audience, this is how you make found family devastating people (storm growing bonsai trees is so charming too haha) 
- ooof this is honestly quite harrowing 
SHE’S SO SMALL COMPARED TO HIM I’M CRYING (at least that part of his genes translated over faslkfsjdh short king, I say this with all the love and support of a fellow short monarch)  
- tabitha seems to just be running around doing precisely whatever the fuck she wants and you know what I support her even if she is an asshole her father left her a bunch of trauma and no fucks left to give 
- still thrilled about professor x explaining the spider key fuckup to magneto after the fact like ‘magnus you dumb bitch this is why we split up’ 
- awww kitty has anime and movie posters on her wall and sleeps with a stuffed toy :’)
-          remy                           rogue
                              🤝
doing completely unnecessary parkour around the brotherhood living room seemingly just for the hell of it... I’m not saying soulmates but fucking soulmates 
- fhsadkjlfhsakjldfhsadjkfhsdajkfh just as gambit’s soul-level need to be a little shit survived his bout of mind control, rogue’s deep and urgent desire to kiss gambit full on the mouth survived hers I can’t breathe
she looks so pleased with herself too GOOD FOR YOU GIRL at least get something out of this other than more trauma 
also not only the fact that he’s smart enough to figure out what’s going on (though he’s only partially right about who’s behind it. I do so enjoy gambit/mystique deep and sincere antipathy as a constant across all universes tho lmao pure wlw/mlm hostility) but also that he keeps fending her off like he’s not trying to hurt her even though she’s in nigh on unstoppable and invulnerable terminator mode... awww 
- gambit having absolutely no patience for wolverine and sabertooth’s bullshit macho-off and consistently being this little biker trio’s one brain cell is adding years to my life with every passing moment
his voice is a little different in these scenes too, a bit softer and less like he’s trying to impress someone, it’s nice
- hank: well I barely recognize any of these (completely made up) ‘ancient egyptian hieroglyphs’ but from what I can make out -- *proceeds to infodump a perfect coherent narrative* fjdhfak  
listen this whole thing is such nonsense on so many levels, I’m just turning my brain off so I won’t have to think about it okay, the compulsion to put ancient aliens in egypt haunts us as a culture 
- I am CACKLING about gambit in the snow after having to listen to these two chucklefucks ooze testosterone at each other for hours
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he started out taking it in good cheer and is now reduced to ‘dieu would both of you just jump off this fUCKING mountain please’
- ah. a little oops-a-daisy there, we seem to have unleashed the apocalypse. please stand by (they really don’t pull their punches with the season cliffhangers in this show haha)
- opening the season on gambit’s merrily grinning face is the easiest way to gain my favour. yes good this season may commence 
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baby u r my
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 ANGELLLLLLLL
(he’s so cute here tho haha I think it shows the design isn’t unsalvagable, just get him better hair and stubble more like logan has and you’ve basically got it) 
love his exasperated eyeroll when the dude gets spooked (by his eyes? or just the general weirdness?) too
he’s just trying to keep this crazy family of evil mutants together and unmurdered by one another until they’ve managed to avert the end of the world, bless him  
- oh NO rogue’s LIP wobbles my hhhhhheart ;____; such a good animation detail to put in
- like... I know kurt is just a sad scared teenager with a lot of shit going on and all the adults are too busy averting the end of the world to help him... but buddy maybe don’t ask your sister to wake her abuser (who forced her to kickstart the end of the world!!!!!) when she feels utterly unsafe even with her statue version around huh
- ...wanda is good and I want only good things for her. and for her dad to be disemboweled for what he did to her both the first time around and when he forced her to forget I mean what 
- magneto throwing an epic satelite-slinging tantrum b/c ‘no I am the biggest sexiest strongest mutant of the pack :(’... erik fucking get over yourself 
- yes boys absolutely go along with a plan suggested by a dude who looks at you like this 
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nothing bad can come of this surely asdfkhsa
- lance’s quarter of a braincell always trying to go ‘hey wait, maybe... not do this???’ and it never helps lol
- in this episode: Logan Has A Bad Day 
...some very specific bondage positions he’s held in here, I am sure this episode awakened something in someone once upon a time lol 
- logan shielding x-23 with his body... im fine it’s okay I’m not crying don’t look at me
- afsdhlsdfjasdlk those sure are some ‘scottish’ accents flsadkjhkdsjahfsd
- scott relieved to finally be able to cede the position of ‘charles xavier’s least favourite son’ to someone else fjsaklfhsajd (poor scott it’s not your fault honey)
supremely cowardly to suggest there is an ex-wife involved rather than charles slutting his way around the british isles back in the day but okay
- kurt with a cold is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. it’s okay kid it’ll get better soon
- ...is there an implication here that professor x is naturally blond. because I am losing my entire little mind about it (i mean he at least has to carry the gene, as does this lady?)
ETA: upon doing some research into this I can indeed confirm that charles xavier does seem to be naturally blond, and after this knowledge I will never be the same 
- “listen, dracula” fskdafghasd oh scott you sweet baby angel I love you
- I know jean’s abilities are a bit ‘as strong or as weak as the plot needs right now’ at this point (so you can have the setup for what’s going to happen with them eventually and she’s basically invincible ;____;), and normally I’m cool with it but god I want her to just squash lucas like a little bug
- ewwwww please don’t ever say ‘daddy’ like that again
- ...what the fuck is even going on this episode’s a mess 
like okay the split personality thing could be something but the way it’s done... what just happened lol
- MY BOY EVAN IS BACK! with a real glowup too (...though kind of weird how he suddenly looks like a grown man)
- augh scott’s eyes are so pretty oh my god ;__________________________;
- that episode in the first season where evan makes the ‘this is my new family!!’ video is so sad now (also, again, his poor poor parents) 
- time for: life affirming road trip with gambit (involuntary) faskljdfhaskjd
stunt therapist remy lebeau 
- I mean the way he goes about it is batshit insane and it’s very much secondary to what he’s actually up to but this is the first time rogue’s sounded genuinely hopeful and confident and like herself in like a season <3 
- he is disconcertingly pleased about her nearly throwing him off the train, and may I just say I agree it’s so nice to see rogue with her old fire back 
- the first time I watched this it was of course dubbed into norwegian, so I had no idea either of these characters were southern lol (though to be fair I probably wouldn’t have had much context for what it meant exactly either, I was like ten at the time and not too interested in america) I seem to dimly remember the norwegian voice actor did a little more of a ‘french’-tinged accent for gambit all over tho haha  
- you know what respect where it’s due, pyro dude knows to live his life for the lols and one has to admire his sociopathic dedication to it
interesting that he, too, seems to have fucking hated magneto -- I wonder if the implication here is that he kept all the acolytes in line with blackmail or by keeping something/one hostage? (except sabertooth maybe he’d just have to say ‘you get to fuck shit up and fight wolverine’ and that’d be enough)
- fsdakfhsd he’s so focused on her he doesn’t notice that guy about to hit him fkafhsa 
- fuck everything else except whatever the hell these two’ve got going on
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- it’s weirdly cathartic to have rogue have a conversation with someone who was not happily adopted as well, I don’t think kurt like. gets it because his parents loved him unconditionally and still do 
birds of a feather motherfucker  
- fun detail: when the x-men team are on the shore and logan is sniffing around scott is stepping in something and trying to wipe it off his boots in the background
- when he wakes up after passing out from the touch he’s smiling even though she’s standing over him looking like the rage of god outlined by the moon fsajfsa well the last time he passed out like that it was from a kiss, maybe he still has some hopes and dreams in that direction lol (also he recovers from the tumble down the hill first and is checking on her before accidentally brushing her cheek with his hand, which I thought was sweet) 
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and it was in that moment he knew he fucked up *passes out*
- ‘I can explain’ can u remy. can u  
- did it ever even occur to you to just. ask her. to help you. I mean I know it didn’t but like rogue’s always one second away from throwing hands with some bully and is stupidly ride or die, if you’d given her the puppydog eyes she would have crumbled immediately (fair enough I guess this entire episode is telling us he’s not from a background where he has much experience with people just helping him without a price haha) 
- his eyes glowing when he’s angry or upset or using a lot of his power is undeniably cool as all hell. I’m just saying it would be Big Sexy if they sort of flickered with light in moments of genuine vulnerability okay  
- his coat... his coat is what makes the Silhouette tm and I could not be happier about it 
- another parent of the year contestant enters the running lol “hey remy have you ever considered that you’re more of a walking bomb factory than a person? that’s certainly how I think of you hahaha c’mon kid let’s go” 
- the running joke of jean luc getting dollar signs in his eyes seeing the other mutant powers and gambit being like ‘nO!!!!’ and pulling him along is amazing haha
- from the way he looks when he touches rogue accidentally and the way he talks to his dad I’m sort of getting the feeling this gambit might actually be a bit younger than he looks?
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here too -- idk why but it’s making the ‘wait is he baby???’ alarms go off in my head haha. very early twenties at most. 
- and we’ve officially seen him with all the face cards in the heart suit folks! (yes this is the sort of thing my brain notices no I don’t know either)
- poor logan running his ass off this whole episode in a panic and then she’s like ‘nah he’s fine (in several meanings of the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) please put him down’ hfaskfsda
- rogue without makeup!!! her eyes look so naked like this haha <3
- oooh here’s a really interesting thing that tickles my brain a bit in this specific part of the scene where gambit frees his dad -- the part where he’s leaning against the door frame waiting for jean luc, who’s about to suggest using the opportunity to ruin the rival gang from the inside rather than slipping away while they still can
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from his expression here he knows what’s about to happen, what jean luc is about to say, and it’s clearly a ‘man who thought he’d lost all hope loses last additional bit of hope he didn’t even know he still had’ sort of situation. he KNOWS what jean luc is like, and it still hurts that he really, honestly can’t give him even this, can’t appreciate that remy’s already done all this shit for him when he extremely didn’t have to, without immediately (no really, it took him less than ten seconds to go there? jesus) demanding more.  
remy tells him “I’m just here for you” and jean luc does not understand it. remy seems to be sincere in this motivation -- rogue certainly thinks so, having experienced it second hand and found enough at least emotional merit in it to decide he was worth saving even after all his bullshit (lol a bit of a running theme maybe. I think it’s very telling that after she absorbed mystique she was like ‘what the FUCK you’re a fucking monster’, and after she absorbed gambit she went ‘you did the wrong thing for the right reasons’ after she got over the first wave of outrage) 
there’s also what he says as he stands there: “You don’t need me for that”, with the distinct implication that jean luc would only keep him around because he has a use for him and for no other reason -- and then jean luc shamelessly doubles down on that by specifying that it’s not even him he’s got a use for as such, just his powers. that’s some kicking puppies level of deliberately missing the point, it’s almost impressive in how cheerfully mean it is haha
this idea of using people is really important in this episode because remy’s doing basically exactly the same thing to rogue to begin with; it doesn’t really matter to his plan that it’s her that’s with him through this, just what her powers are. (I think it’s  p r e t t y  solidly implied that he does actually like her a lot outside of that too and maybe there is some comfort in having her around for this, but mostly he’s behind a smokescreen of lies through the whole thing sooo I doubt he’s even aware of it, honestly)     
but then it does matter that it’s her when she comes back for him, even after what he did. and unlike jean luc he understands what that means, that she did that for him, and that she didn’t have to. and instead of asking her for more, in return he gives her the thing it’s been established is what he considers the most valuable thing he has; his ‘last card’, the thing he’s credited with keeping him alive many a time, basically. it’s gone from using to mutuality, a tentative place of friendship, and at the end of the day he is a different man than his adoptive father, with a capacity for selflessness and love he lacks. which is of course some of the same stuff going on with rogue and mystique too, except rogue acted from a more fragile and unstable place and did something she regrets, or at least has a LOT of doubts about now, and she found some catharsis in helping someone make a different choice in a similar situation. man there’s some Stuff going on under the surface here haha
(by the way it’s a weirdly... meaningless yet intensely meaningful thing, the gifting of a symbol? of an idea? but he’s putting something very crucial of himself into her hands, is the subtext, and he expects her to understand, which she also does seem to do. at the beginning of the episode he’s proving that he’s seen something true about her -- “You’re such an unhappy girl”, knowing where she comes from, the way she’s mourning her lost confidence and autonomy with her abilities -- and here she’s proving she’s seen something true about him. :’) I wish this show had gone on long enough for this dynamic to progress, it’s really interesting and touching)   
- gambit dragging himself up onto dry land seeing someone approaching (to help?!): :D
gambit seeing that it’s logan and the look on his face: D: 
- rogue using her powers so confidently and fearlessly in this episode tho!!!! 
- *me crying* and then her FAMBILY comes to take her home and he says he’s looking out for her too and kurt still loves her even though they’re having a conflict thing between them and she’s finally able to use her powers without so much fear again and --
- ...did I just watch some baby lesbian love at first sight shit right now???  
- okay last two episodes let’s go
- HELL YEAH STORM (I love that she’s like ‘don’t give me a dumb order like that and I won’t have to disobey it’ too sdfjsaj) her voice has such command I’m usually very much not the ‘step on me’ type butttt
- y’know I feel like apocalypse’s main fault across all versions I’ve seen of him is that he’s like an immortal superpowered god king and he’s not even sexy. like at least make him hot if he’s going to be insufferable in every other way 
- also callout post for apocalypse: one time he made gambit into the Horseman of Death... and didn’t even make him sexy!!! you were handed remy lebeau, supreme bi disaster slut of the x men universe, and you couldn’t even make his brainwashed superpowered evil side hot?? a beautiful stubbled twunk with glowing red eyes and extremely charming :> face practically delivers himself into your hands and you do that to him???? I mean I’m sure apocalypse did some other bad stuff too but that was the worst one
(comics are so dumb y’all) 
- having to watch jean cry is emotional terrorism!! ;___; she has such older sister/mom energy, whenever she gets sad and helpless it hurts 
- oh, OH so PROFESSOR X you’ll make into a hunk and ~*strategically*~ rip his clothes to show off a nipple and a flawless pec in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable because he’s like The Dad??? apocalypse you are rotten to the core this is unforgivable 
- so wait wanda never actually gets her real memories back. what the FuCk I hope that was a dropped storyline because they ended the show tragically prematurely rather than like. the plan
- why is spyke calling storm ‘storm’ show that’s his auntie o!! >:(
- as a society we need to acknowledge that apocalypse looks like a fucking clown
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- ooooh yeah I have been thinking that this show’s greatest visual weakness so far has been not having a visual way to show telepathy/battles of the minds, but this is a pretty cool way to do it! better late than never
- I’m so happy rogue gets to end this herself, since she was forced into starting it against her will, it’s just nice and neat storytelling
- YEAH FUCKING TELL HER KURT AND ROGUE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU and she has the temerity to look pissed off oh my god
the only valid thing mystique has done in her entire life is be in love with destiny. literally everything else she gets up to is a travesty. like I know objectively she’s hot but my loathing for her stops me from even appreciating it. I do enjoy loathing her tho so please don’t change her haha
(a bit odd to have kurt’s attitude to her swing so much but I’m just going to assume he and rogue had a good long conversation after ‘cajun spice’ and that he understands what’s going on better now)
- this last part is such a cruel tease faskdfhsdaj ‘here are all the cool-ass things we had planned. sucks you never get to see it huh’ im devastated 
- magneto without his helmet and playing charmingly with children like charles is going ‘well at least I saved my marriage finally’ fsadkhfjsd (honestly tho I would be super interested in seeing how they’d redeem this magneto because he’s been a real bitch the whole time lol) 
there’s an interesting thing here where magneto looks down at wanda as the last thing he does on screen before this epilogue part (yeah I hope it fucking haunts you forever what you did to her erik you absolute piece of hot garbage) and the last thing charles does is look at jean b/c he knows what’s going to happen to her and it breaks his heart... Dramatic Parallells  
- just the hint of jean as the phoenix has me in full D:D:D: mode tho maybe I wouldn’t have survived it
- gambit in the last groupshot with his arm around rogue ;^) I mean I’m sure they’re headed for some turns and roundabouts along the way but what’s that thing she says as her wedding vow, that she’ll always find her way back? anyway that got me in my heart
- man I really wish this show had been given more seasons, we were barely even getting warmed up here :’(
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lilacerull0 · 4 years ago
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Scrapbooks of flowers
the third photograph: scrapbook of lotuses
"Story to story Building to building Street to street We pass each other on the stairs" - The Stairs, INXS
Revelius Sparks looks pleasant enough. His smile that tries almost too hard not to be a smile, his hands in his pockets and his eyes occasionally offering her an unreadable look. His sweater, on the other hand, looks rather disturbing. Improper. Disheveled. Messy. There are tiny colourful stains all over it (paint?) and there's a little hole on his shoulder. A hole revealing a bright yellow shirt he has underneath. Audrey Claire finds it weirdly comforting unacceptable. Her coming here was also unacceptable. But then again, wasn't that the idea? Wasn't she supposed to be doing something drastically different? And Revelius Sparks is someone she normally wouldn't have crossed paths with. There were days when he would come to school with his longish hair sprinkled with glitter. There were days when he would attend classes in mismatched shoes. Sometimes, he would come wrapped in a giant, ridiculous, red scarf that looked like it came straight out of his grandma's closet. As opposed to that, there were days when he would look completely normal. Jeans, shirts, jackets, neatly crafted hair (suddenly cut short), no glitter in sight. She knows these things because everybody knew them. Everybody might not have particularly enjoyed Revelius Sparks (he seemed to be... too much of... everything, you know?), but everybody knew who he was. Although, apparently, life goes on after high school and people usually turn out to be much more than one dimensional paper dolls once given a chance (at least that's what she's heard and she's trying out new things). So, Audrey Claire stands up from her recently found seat at the coffee shop and softly taps the shoulder of the so called Revelius Sparks, who's the last one waiting in line to order something. Three times, three times barely grazing his improper, disheveled, messy, unacceptable sweater. One. Two. Three. - Hi, I'm Audrey Claire, we used to go to the same high school. It's utterly absurd, the statement, considering how they were the souvenirs of that very same high school weeks not decades ago. Revelius Sparks doesn't seem to acknowledge the absurdity. His eyes are glossy and his cheeks are lightly freckled, she notes. - Oh, hi, I'm so happy to see you. Another absurdity, she thinks. How could you be happy to see somebody that you never properly met? Were never properly introduced to? - Nice seeing you. She mutters and turns around, ready to leave (and avoid any further discomfort). She hears him say something in response, but she's already out of the foreign lands. Task: (technically) failed.
*** She tucks her hair behind her ear a lot. The right one. Or she's been told. She's never actually picked up on it herself. Her hand holding a pen, a paper in front of her. She's only doodling various dresses, dresses she would like to own, dresses she would like to create. She might have been a designer if things were different, but even then, she isn't sure if that would have been the right thing to do. She's supposed to go to law school in the fall and be a lawyer because that's what she was always supposed to do. You are most certainly coming up with assumptions now, something like: "her parents are forcing her into it" or another cliched idea like "she's doing it to honour her late late grandfather Walt who was a lawyer back in the day". Guess what? She isn't doing any of that. Her grandfather's name is not Walt either. It's only something she's always talked about, the only thing she could see herself doing. Fancy blazers, marvellous court rooms... It all seemed extremely Audrey-like. At least, that's who Audrey Claire was at school. She never picked up on it before, just like she never picked up on the hair thing, but Audrey doesn't know how to be Audrey without school. You must think she's mad. Well, she ought to be. Who in their right mind misses school assignments and studying for exams and writing three page essays? Yes, she's going to college to learn, but it's not the same, isn't it? It's more about her future and less about getting gold stars for the sake of her future. And now, when she earned her future, she doesn't have to earn any more gold stars. That's supposed to be a good thing. That is a good thing. The drawings are nice. Fairly simple, but quite nice. She picks them all up and throws them in the pink trash can beside her desk. It's not like anybody is coming to check them out. Audrey crosses her arms, let's herself fall even deeper into the chair and closes her eyes. Next thing she knows, she's dreaming of stars. *** "She's spinning and spinning and spinning. Her dress swirling around her, her feet barely touching the ground. The grass is so green and the sun is so bright and she is spinning. People have forgotten about the beauty of the natural world but she never did. She's coming from whenever, breathing in wherever, she's dreaming of a different age. She's spinning and spinning and spinning and whole, entire, wonderful worlds are spinning along with her." Audrey Claire doesn't know why and how she ended up here. The only thing she's aware of are the words that Revelius Sparks is sharing with her and the rest of the room. She's surprised that the town theatre is open this late in the night, but then again, she's never been to one. Not as a (theoretical) adult at least. Revelius Sparks is sitting on the very edge of the stage, his leg rhythmically swaying to a beat she presumes must be the one only he is able to hear. She can't quite figure out if he's singing, reciting or acting. It might be all three. Once he's finished with his little performance, he gets up, adjusts his funny colourful scarf and smiles. The few people that are in the room are clapping, but it's obvious that he's not smiling at them. It's not that he's smiling "at no one in particular" either. It's more like he's smiling at something that should be there but tragically isn't. Audrey doesn't get up from her seat. Not even when everyone else is gone. She can't move. All she can do is think about these people and how they all were in here together for one fleeting moment. All breathing the same air, all hearing the same words. And now they all went home. They all went home to hear different words and breath different air. They all went home a tad bit different. They all went home and she's still there. *** Audrey keeps visiting the theatre. Her appearances aren't scheduled. Her legs simply decide that the only correct option is to bring her there and she goes along with it and she comes and each time she discovers another way to listen. Another way to be.
Sometimes, she doesn't even pay attention to the meaning of the words spoken by whoever is on stage. It all sounds wonderfully interesting, and the chairs are so wonderfully comfortable and she's so wonderfully there. She isn't the one to explain it, but it feels quite important. Doing something without a clear purpose. Revelius isn't always present. But when he is, he talks? sings? recites? about endless fields full of flowers, souls too free to be kept away and voices too long forgotten not to be heard. Those are all his descriptions and she remembers them because she's good at remembering and she even writes some of them down. She doesn't try to understand them and never does she go through them once they are written. But something about notebooks filled with various little words makes her feel happy and content. Revelius refers to himself as a "wanderer of flowery youths and incadescent hearts". Audrey thinks his "stage name" has no right being that long and of course she finds it (almost) unbearably preposterous but it's also kind of funny and pronouncing it out loud, when she's all alone with nobody but herself to hear, brings her immense joy. It reminds her of all those poems she had to learn for school. She never properly meets Revelius. They never talk, she never looks for him and he never notices her (or anybody else for that matter) while he's fulfilling his duty as a wanderer. They never randomly run into each other. They never have a deep conversation that magically resolves all of their respective issues. They never watch the sunset, buy each other sweet unnecessary expensive things or kiss in the rain till they're both out of breath. They never fall in love. The truth is, Audrey doesn't feel the need to meet him. She's just really really glad that he's around. *** She's dressed in black, but her freshly discovered scarf is screaming in bright yellow. The sidewalk is wet and slippery. People are walking, shouting, running, talking and exchanging. Moving. Her sparkling red suitcase is following her and her brand new shoes are ruined. Her feet are completely soaked. Her hair is a bit messy. She can feel tangled strands of it all over her face. She wasn't expecting rain today. But then again, she didn't exactly plan on paying a visit to the train station, let alone catching an actual train. The city looks different once fall comes. The leaves are crunchy and dressed in various colours. The air is colder. Everyone's cheeks are flushed. Once fall comes, people turn into portable paintings. Audrey takes a few seconds to admire the unlikely art exhibit. Her hand moves to position the scarf around her neck. Too tightly wrapped and a bit crooked it was, she thinks. Exactly three minutes pass and she's in the train, glittery notebook in hand. She doesn't open it, but she recalls the coordinates of each and every word gracing its pages. "What a wonderful collection of incadescent hearts...", she mummers under her breath and the woman across from her shots her a confused look, but Audrey doesn't notice any of it. She's too busy experiencing creations much more pleasant. She lets her head rest against the window frame.
And when her gaze welcomes the glorious landscape on the other side of the glass, her eyes are full of gold coloured stars. "You are beautiful and sad" I said finally, not looking at him when I did. "Just like your eyes. You're like a song I heard when I was a little kid, but forgot I knew until I heard it again." - Maggie Stiefvater
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mimik-u · 4 years ago
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“Homeworld Bound” Thoughts:
I wasn’t going to watch this one today, but then I realized that I really missed the Diamonds and wanted to consume novel content, so!
OOH, good on the show for taking us directly to the aftermath of “Fragments” instead of putting space between the episodes. That’s just... a really good choice narrative wise.
Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl’s expressions are so distressing here. He’s been gone for three days; they must’ve been so worried.
Jasper steps aside to reveal an absolutely ruined Steven.
He just technically killed a gem and then resurrected her. How intensely will that forever lie on his psyche? Oh my g od
NO, NOT JASPER PASSIVELY MAKING THE DIAMOND SIGN IN THE BACKGROUND AUGH
“You can’t just disappear for days without telling us!”
Steven silent walking up to the Observatory as the Gems continue to freak the fuck out is harrowing. And Dee Dee Magno Hall is killing it with her voice acting here. The simultaneous fear and anger and horror in her voice. Oh my g d
“You guys... I love you, but you can’t help me anymore. I’ve been avoiding the only people in the entire universe who can.” 🥺 This is sad, but I’m also, like, problematic grandmas time!!!!!
“Find something better to do with your life.” God, Jasper’s look of disbelief and sadness here. I didn’t really delve into this during my “Fragments” watch because I was just roridoodwrjfkrkeke reeling, but her reaction to being accidentally shattered is psychologically devastating???? I’d wager that she simultaneously respects the fact that she’s been subjugated by a being more powerful than her, that she’s grateful to Steven for being both subjugator and savior, and likely, she’s conflating this new loyalty with her former loyalty for Pink. This is a really complex psyche (a tragic one most of all).
Garnet: “Steven, remember, we’ll always be your family.” I’m so fucki n emo
AWHWHWH, HOMEWORLD IS SO BRIGHT AND COLORFUL NOW!!!
YO!! Homeworld has a democracy now!! The Zircons!!!!!!!
THE WALL GEM IS MOVING??????? KWOEOEIDJDKSJS
Can u imagine being a wall cursed with sentience. that is so funny on so many levels
But it’s also really interesting, too. If the Wall Gem is a gem in the way say Topazes are gems, which, judging by her mobility, she is—then her explicit purpose in Era 1-2, as molded by presumably Yellow, was to b a wall omg. (Or, arguably, I think it can be argued that the inanimate object Gems, like Comby, were probably accidental sentient creations, made in relationship to their proximity to the Diamonds during their various secretion rituals!!)
Anyway, I love thinking about Homeworld worldbuilding. It’s fascinating.
SQUARE PERIDOT
SPIIIIIINELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Her heart eyes!! She looks so happy!
Steven, angry af: “Spinel, what is wrong with you?” / Spinel: Oh, you know—the usual.” KEKDSKDK
Also, Steven really wanted to say fuck there. NEKDDKKSSKKS
“I was such a wreck then, but I am so much better now.” We stan character growth 😭😭
One thing I have loved the Crewniverse so much for doing is never taking away the physical signs of gems’ mental distress, even after they’ve gotten better: Blue’s eye bags, Volleyball’s eye, Spinel’s running mascara. That is so important.
YELLOW SITTING AT HER LIL VANITY!!
IT’S LIGHT INSIDE HER ROOM! THERE R FLOWERS! THRIVE, QUEEN, THRIVE.
YELLOW REVERSING HER GEM EXPERIMENTS OH MY G D
FUCKING QUEEN!!!!!!
(I’m sorry in advance. The rest of the live blog is just going to be screaming about the Diamonds.)
“I can permanently alter any physical form!” She’s so proud of herself. 😭😭😭 I fuckin’ love her.
Yellow laying down on the ground like that is SENDING ME SKSKSJSJ.
Ugh, and her being such a good mom to Spinel. I’m cry in f
“If anything’s out of proportion, it’s your temper. You can be big if you want to, or you can be small if you want to, but if you’re going to be upset no matter what, then this problem isn’t physical—it’s emotional. Go see Blue.”
I really like her advice here because it’s advice that comments so clearly on her own character arc. At her lowest, she was quick to anger, aggressive, and temperamental, which she diagnoses in Steven here. Additionally, she was the Diamond who was concerned largely with physical actions. She coped by maintaining the Empire through conquering planets and maintaining the minutiae of leadership; she thought the only way to receive justice for Pink was through the physical act of destruction. And in doing so, she pushed her own emotions deep, deep down until they manifested in anger, aggressiveness, and temperamental outbursts. This hurt the people she cared about, and it hurt herself most of all.
Also, “Go see Blue. That is her department.” Ejdoiddjdjjsjdjdks, “go see ur other grandma.”
BLUE FLOATING ON A CLOUD!!!!!
“Your powers have been causing you dramatic mood swings? That seems awfully troubling Steven.” God I love her
“You don’t seem troubled.” This is a really interesting line because it comments on how Blue’s emotions, especially her negatively charged ones, used to be so visible all over her; indeed, she both wittingly and actively used to project them on other Gems, forcing them to feel her suffering, too.
OH, SHE GOES ON TO SAY THE EXACT SAME THING EOEODODISSJJS. LISTEN, I REALLY VIBE WITH BLUE.
“Back before you came into my life, Steven, I wanted every one to feel the pain I felt. I realized I must make up for my awful behavior by bringing joy to others.”
Another thing I’ve appreciated about the writing in this episode: So far, both Blue and Yellow have used the adjective awful to describe their former actions. It’s the self-awareness and the refusal to try to excuse themselves that powerfully shows how much they’ve grown. And it’s their continuous endeavors to keep moving forward, to help the Gems that they’ve hurt, that indicates that they’re willing to constantly keep growing and atoning.
NFOFOFDKSSKSKSK, THESE CLOUDS ARE JUST HER VAPORIZED TEARS HELP.
Sick vape clouds, Blue
I’VE HEARD THE SONG BEFORE, BUT EVERY TIME SHE SINGS, I LOSE MY SHI T
LISA HANNNNIGAAAAAAAN
This is such a pretty line: “Cold palace walls, and endless empty halls, haunted by echoes of laughter.”
BLUE ASCENDING THROUGH THE CLOUDS AUSHAHHSHD
BLUE MAKING HEART CLOUDS FOR SPINEL!!
BLUE CALLING SPINEL N STEVEN HER LITTLE REASONS WHY.
“I’LL NEVER MAKE YOU CRY.” This line is particularly lovely because I think it plays well with Steven’s line to her in “CYM:” “How many times did you make her cry?”
BDJDJDJSJDJ, BLUE LAYING ON HER CLOUD LIKE YELLOW LAID ON THE FLOOR.
The way she sings the last “loving you.” 😭😭😭😭 I’m gonna weep. I love her so fucking much.
“I found happiness. If that's not something you think you deserve, then I suspect this is an issue of self worth. I suggest you go to White for assistance with such matters.” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 And like Yellow did, Blue gets to the heart of her arc cleanly.
Before Steven and before her own emotional reckoning, she didn’t think it was her place to be happy: “I know my purpose isn’t to be happy.” But in learning to love others, Blue has found true, inner happiness, which she literally shares with others. Wow.
And I think there’s something powerful in her distinction between true happiness and self-worth. You can’t find one without espousing the other.
White’s room is so pretty. 🥺
THE FLASHING STROBE LIGJTS DDNJDFJDJDNF.
SPINEL WHITE DIAMOND?!/!:$;8;83&:&:
SHE FUCKING LETS OTHER GEMS CONTROL HE R HELP.
SPINEL MAKING WHITE TAP DANCE FICODODOFODJDNDJSJDJDJJDDJDJ
Steven’s horrified expression omg
“I’m scared I’m gonna hurt people; I guess I already have.” God.
And that’s another thing that this episode has called to mind. Blue, Yellow, and White alike once used their insane powers to hurt other Gems and to hurt themselves, and here, throughout this series, we see Steven discovering that same capacity for destruction and self-destruction. Along with the systematic oppressions they facilitated, a big part of the Diamonds’ modus operandi was that their powers were directly correlated to their mental states and their various inabilities to confront their own selves and effect inner change. The corrective wasn’t necessarily Steven; the corrective was him helping them to do that initial act of introspection and looking inwards. And so, too, will Steven have to do the same by the end of this series. But I presume that his family, all the people and gems who have loved and cared for him, will in effect be his Steven, just as he has always been for them.
“Half a Diamond, half a creature of Earth—in all the universe there's no one else that could know what you’re going through, so maybe it's time you talked to yourself.” This is so viscerally sad. White hits the nail on the head here. Steven’s human friends/family and his gem family and even the Diamonds, who come the closest to matching his own strength, can never fully understand him. It’s the tension that underscores a lot, if not the entire show.
White briefly touches Steven with her nail, and you can viscerally see the trauma on his face; he hasn’t forgotten her act above all, wrenching his gem out, nearly killing him.
“I’m... I’m a Diamond.” Steven, in looking at White Diamond, realizes that she’s a mirror of himself. Holy fucking shit
“I don’t want to be you! I don’t want to be anything like you!” HOLY FUCKING SHIT
“Don’t hurt me! She can’t hurt me! I’m controlling her...” And here, Steven doesn’t light upon the essential thing... in making White punch the wall, nearly knocking a huge rock into him, he’s the one hurting himself.
This show, oh my g o d
“She’s the one who should be afraid.” STEVEN?!!!!????!??!
“No, stop it! I don’t like this!” / “Please, you’re scaring me.” OH MY GO D
HE FUCKING MADE HER SLAM HER GEM AGAINST A PILLAR HOLY HE LL
“What... what was that?” Christine’s delivery here. Holy shit. 😭😭 And both of them are surrounded in the carnage of Steven’s wrath. Holy fucking shit.
This act is fundamentally different than him accidentally shattering Jasper in “Fragments”; this was an intentional attempt to hurt White, to crack her, to break her. Holy fucking shit
Spinel, Blue, and Yellow waiting for Steven outside of White’s door has my heart a little and a lot tender 🥺🥺🥺🥺
SPINEL SINGING I CAN MAKE A CHANGE SO DRAMATICALLY DJDIDJDJDJDJD. (But yeah, lmao, this will absolutely be the conclusion of Steven’s arc at the end of Future.)
“Steven! Let us help you, Steven!” The Diamonds are so concerned (mirroring the Gems back at home, too). 😭😭
He leaves a flip flop behind like Cinderella lmao
“Steven, let us help you!” / “We’re your family!” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
And just as he implored the CGs, he tells the Diamonds not to follow him either.
Steven is completely and utterly alone.
Not by necessity.
But God, by choice.
Okay, this is my new favorite Future episode.
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bigteefsmallbrain · 3 years ago
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MORE SOULMATE AU HEADCANONS
Someone called the first set cute and I am unbelievably determined to make their goddamn day/night now, also, just realized you could get around the talking barrier with your soulmate if you direct your speaking at yourself, though I imagine that would be quite hard without a lot of focus or practice, so I’m implementing that in this set, hope you enjoy!!
WARNING: For Midoriya Izuku - Mentions of past fish death; For Umino Iruka - Mentions of his parents passing; and For Erza Scarlet - Death, the Tenrou island incident, signs of depression and loss of a loved one [It turns happy though]
SOULMATE AU HEADCANONS FOR: Izuku Midoriya, Iruka Umino, Erza Scarlet
Izuku Midoriya
Welcome to your own personal hero encyclopedia
Literally your best friend when it comes to quizzes and homework
If you so much as mutter to yourself a question
He is mumbling to himself the answer and all the steps to solve it
Brain = Autopilot
He doesn’t even consider that you might have been rhetorical
Or that you might be taking a quiz
Soulmate asked a question and he’d rather die than not mutter the answer to himself under his breath so his soulmate can hear
He’s your worst enemy sometimes too though
Trying to sleep? Nah, listen to him fanboy over a hero documentary instead
Trying to have a little you time? Funny joke, you’re learning about All Might now
You now know the weirdest facts about heroes
And events that most teachers don’t know about
May I suggest a heroics history teaching job?
Unfortunately, you also have to listen to his crying
I don’t mean it in a bad way
But you have no way to comfort him
Literally all you want to do is give him a hug and comfort him
But all you can do is say comforting words to yourself
Hoping he’ll hear them over his broken, heart wrenching sobs
But don’t worry, he does, he hears everything you say to yourself
He has a notebook dedicated to you and o n l y you
He nearly ripped Bakugo’s head off when the blonde accidentally burnt it’s pages when they were younger
Yeah, fun times [Bakugo double checked that it was the h e r o notebook and not the s o u l m a t e notebook when he burnt it in middle school, never again would he risk hearing his last name be spit venomously from the green haired males mouth]
He writes down anything he deems memorable [AKA nearly everything] that you say
He notes things you have difficulty towards academically and makes sure to break it down and read the now less complex version aloud in hopes he’s helped you
He has, he’s probably the main reason you’re in the top 5 academically
But also he loves hearing your meaningless rambles
You have scared him a few times
“Wait, is he dead? Oh no! Please don’t tell me he’s dead!”
w h a t
“I don’t think I can handle mom crying over another fish.”
Oh, just a fish, thank All Might, he nearly went into cardiac arrest
They brighten his day, and he can’t wait to meet you and tell you just how thankful he is that you’re his soulmate
Just like you can’t wait to hit him upside the head for all the sleepless nights he’s caused with his fanboy behavior
Okay, but when you do meet, you immediately ask for Bakugo
You give zero fucks about possibly being expelled/sent to prison
Hell hath no fury like you who had to listen to their soulmates broken cries over the blondes treatment for years
And Izuku can only hold you back for so long
He definitely wants to see your quirk in action when you meet
And when demonstrating he’s mumbling all the uses and possible ideas
While also complimenting you and how amazing you are
He doesn’t even notice he’s doing it
If you do it back, he WILL blue screen
Midoriya Izuku.exe has stopped working
He literally freezes on the spot
Iruka Umino
Oh do we love our dear teacher
Maybe a little too much
But we don’t talk about that
IRUKA IS THE TYPE TO MUTTER A SWEET SOFT “Good morning my soulmate” TO HIMSELF EVERY DAY AS HE WAKES UP SO YOU CAN HEAR IT AND YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE
He will also say other things, like “I made pancakes for breakfast, I wish you were here to enjoy them”
And call you sweet pet names like “Dear” “Darling” “Honey” etc. and when he’s feeling especially corny “Snookums” or something really out there when he feels like you need a good laugh like “Cookie Cutter”
No, I'm serious, if he thinks you’re sad, he w i l l say “Hey there, how’s my little cookie cutter?” to himself in a half joking tone in hopes of brightening your day
You can pry this headcanon from my cold, dead hands
He loves it if you mutter responses to yourself for him to hear in return
His heart will melt the moment he hears you say “Good morning” back, or if you mention wanting to cook for him
He also loves it if you give lesson plan advice to him
Like, he’ll be muttering about the best way to teach his class how to throw shuriken and your voice will pop up in his head with friendly advice
Makes him wonder if you’re a teacher too, or if you’re planning to become one
Secretly hopes you’re planning to become a teaching aid, because A) Work and soulmate at the same time? Yes please, and B) Kami knows he needs help with his rowdy class
If you are, he’s sure to be over the moon when he finds out
In his younger days, before teaching, he definitely went on missions and looked for you when he could
Like, yes, the mission is important, but finding the owner to the beautiful voice in his head is ALSO important
He’d usually finish the mission and stay an extra one or two days looking for you
It didn’t really cross his mind till later that you could be in the Leaf Village, since he figured he would have already found you if he did
Till he saw people older than him who grew up in the village only just finding out they were soulmates
He went on less out of village missions after that
Till eventually he decided to become a teacher
When I tell you this man melts when you talk
I mean he MELTS
He loves your voice so much
It helped him through his parents deaths
Helped him when he felt at his lowest points
You’ve done so much for him, and he’s so thankful, he’s fallen so deeply in love with you and you haven’t properly met yet!
He still wants to marry you on the spot though
It’s not a strange sight to see him browsing rings
Or thinking of how he’d propose
You’ll never let him know that he’s unconsciously spoken out loud about it a few times
Not until you meet, then you’ll mention it
And never let him live it down
“You know, I’ve heard you say you wanted to marry me on the spot, is that still on the menu or…?”
Yeah, when you first meet each other, that’s the first thing that pops out of your mouth
And it has his face burning red
He’s stumbling through his words, trying to convey that yes, he would like to marry you, but he needs your ring size first to go buy the ring
Trust me, this man has made enough trips to know what ring, he just needs the size
Then he’ll be down on one knee quicker that Shisui’s Shunshin no Jutsu
The fact that you seem okay with it also seals the deal for him
He’s so ecstatic when you meet each other
He feels like he could take on Madara one v one and win
He’s so unbelievably happy
Like he’s convincing you to take a photo so he can frame it on his desk and always remember happy
He’s so cute and blushy about it too
Rambles about never wanting to forget the best day of his life so far
“So far?” “Well, yeah, I imagine marrying you will take the spot soon”
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS BOY WILL MAKE YOUR HEART SWOON!!!
He’s so giddy about introducing you to his class too
Especially Naruto
[Mostly Naruto]
He’s showing you off and preening at the congratulations his class gives
And later on introducing you to Naruto personally
As much as he loves his class, he adores Naruto, and really hopes you both get along well
And you do
And it was the worst mistake of Iruka's life
[or best as both you and Naruto often correct him]
Honestly you probably convinced him to at least bring up the possibility of Adoption to Naruto
Which has Naruto howling in excitement and agreeableness
The boy looks up to him and they both have such a father/son dynamic, let me have this dammit
[Also, being able to get Naruto to be the ring bearer/flower boy? P r i c e l e s s]
He loves his family, so very much
And is so thankful that you convinced him to adopt Naruto
The man has been debating on if Naruto would want to be his son or not for ages, you can NOT tell me otherwise
You also can’t tell me Naruto wouldn’t jump at the chance to have Iruka as his father
Erza Scarlet
She’s so eager to find you
She’s spent so long perfecting the art of speaking to you despite the barrier
And she’s always so responsive to you
Always talking about the adventures she's had
What she wants to do with you when you find each other
And she’s always so happy when you do the same
She’s always been responsive with you, even though the beginning was a bit rough with communication
So when she suddenly goes radio silent, it scares you, it hurts when you come to the realization that she’s dead
She can hear you, even in her deep sleep on Tenrou Island
And it’s heartbreaking
Your cries
The endless broken sobs
“I’m so sorry I never got to meet you” No, I’m still here!
“Hey soulmate wha- oh, right, you’re..” I’m not dead! I promise I’ll be there soon!
To say the least, it’s a long 7 years
And you never did get over your soulmates tragic death
Though you did find out who she might have been
Hurts more knowing how she passed on though
She always spoke of her guild, Fairy Tail, and you had been saving up enough jewels to go there, in hopes of finding her
You know she must have been on Tenrou when it fell
And by deductive evidence, it must have been the S class wizard
Erza Scarlet, you’re soulmate
Dead, soulmate
You joined not long after the news had spread
Figured it might help with the ache
It didn’t
But you grew to love the guild anyways
They welcomed you as family
Because to them, you already were
Erza spoke so highly of you
Always talking about how amazing her soulmate was, and everything she wanted to do with them when they met
And it was because of that you were able to deduce that she is your soulmate
Was, your soulmate
It wasn’t an odd sight to see you crying when the Tenrou group was brought up
Or after a particular rough beating from the Twilight Ogre guild
They watched you slowly fall apart when you tried speaking to her
Helped put you back together when you remembered she wasn’t on the other side
And eventually you began healing
Never getting over her or forgetting her
You could never forget her
And broke down just thinking about trying to find another
You took to talking to her in hopes she could still hear you in the afterlife
Talk about your day
How the guild is doing
If there was a particularly rough beating from the other guild
It hurt, much worse than when you forgot that she wasn’t there
But you carried on, believing that if she could hear you, she’d want to know
She adores that about you, your will to carry on, even though it hurts
And she’s sure to leave nothing but corpses in Twilight Ogre for all the years of torment
When Blue Pegasus found remains of the Island, no one stopped you from boarding the ship
They knew you needed this, more than the rest of them
You needed to know if she was really gone or not
And when you caught sight of scarlet red hair
You wept
She’s here
She’s alive
She turned the moment she heard your voice weekly call for her
To say your first meeting was filled with tears would be an understatement
You were attached by the hip from that point on
Not that either of you were complaining
Erza was especially ecstatic to have you by her side finally
After all, she had 7 years to make up for
And you can show her where Twilight Ogre is
The Master and Mira didn’t question why she was especially rough with a select few members
I Hope you enjoyed reading this set of Soulmate AU HC’s! If you would like to see any specific characters, don’t be afraid to leave a comment or submit an ask! If it’s a character I’m not familiar with, I’ll do my best to learn about them!!
P.S. I nearly killed Reader-chan off in Erza’s (:
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specialagentartemis · 4 years ago
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People are really into Lambert Week here on Wolf 359 tumblr (because it was great), so here I am presenting: a canon-divergence (quite literally) AU (also literally) that spins off of that.
What if... I took the “Lambert watches the events of the Wolf 359 liveshow” entirely seriously?  Lambert gets a vision of the future.  He is ordered not to tell Captain Lovelace.
He tells Captain Lovelace.
Weird things start happening to the timeline.
Rated T, no romantic ships, lots of friendships and enemyships.
Also, part of the reason I’m getting back on tumblr is to have a place to archive all my Behind The Scenes thoughts where I don’t feel self-conscious rambling about them.
I know I always love reading about what authors are thinking when they wrote something, and I always have Lots Of Stuff that I’m thinking when I write things, but I always feel so... vain and self-conscious expounding on it because Who Cares.
So that’s what tumblr’s gonna be for.  Every week I’m gonna post a chapter on AO3, and then here’s gonna be my rambles about my thoughts and Explaining What The Refrance.
- This fic will totally be an excuse to indulge in Weird Sci-fi Stuff, off-kilter timelines, paradoxes, unreality, more than a little recapturing of what I’m loving about the flashback scenes of Harrow the Ninth, and Lovelace and Lambert being friends.  And Lambert and Rhea being friends.  Both of those are very important to me.
Chapter 1, Prologue:
- because I need to have an explanation for what’s going on in my head to explain what does and doesn’t work re: time travel: my idea was that, the star turning blue and going haywire at the end of Season 2 also caused weird time fluctuations and all sorts of strange and inexplicable events that went alongside the whole “turning blue” thing.  One of those weird time effects was sending security footage that was in the process of broadcasting back to Earth back into the past instead.  That’s how this all started - an accidental side effect of the Dear Listeners not really caring how freaky their “attempt at welcoming Eiffel was, haha.
- “Peter Kuiper” is the product of an extremely useful bit-character naming algorithm.  Gabriel Urbina has mentioned that when he needed a minor Goddard employee for Cutter to talk to, he grabbed a name from the Bible.  Not sure this is supposed to be Implying anything; I leave that to your discretion.  It makes choosing canon-compliant minor character names very easy, though.  Catholic school + currently taking a statistics class gives me plenty of biblical name/mathematician combos. 
- The name “Kuiper” was chosen specifically, though, from the theory that Cutter steals the bodies of employees when he wears out his welcome in his old one, body-hopping promising young Goddard employees.  When your coworker suddenly gets promoted to Communications Director and the old CD quietly retires and nobody hears from him again... well, you don’t ask questions.  Cutter seems to have a preference for K/C-R names, though, so I imagine he keeps an eye out for appropriate candidates... and Rachel is aware of this and keeps potential candidates on the correct promotional tracks.  (Maybe also why she chose the name “Young” - Cutter has never been a woman before, but just to be on the safe side, latch onto a name with all the wrong sounds in it...)
Chapter 2, “Live Psychodrama”:
- I have a hard time coming up with titles most of the time... but I love giving chapter titles to serial works.  Partially I think it makes serial following more fun and interesting, partially it helps me keep track of what plot point happened where, partially it’s sometimes a place to stick another obnoxious reference because I think I’m clever.  (Someday I’m going to write my epic tragic longfic about the last days of the Lovelace Administration and every chapter will be titled after a line from a different filk song, and then you’ll all be sorry.  Specifically you’ll all be sorry I’m allowed to post things on AO3.)
- I will never stop putting references to the OC Squad in my fics.  Someday I will write real things about them.  In the meantime you just get oblique references.
- A while ago, upon rereading the script for “Change of Mind,” as u do, I came away with the new realization that Lambert and Rhea seemed notably closer to each other than to the others - Lambert was Rhea’s favorite, and Lambert was friendly with Rhea in a way that wasn’t as stiff and awkward as he was with his human crewmates.  Lambert week was extremely validating in that regard.  Lambert is ready to throw down for AI rights!
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pavl0ve · 3 years ago
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that week when i decided headfirst slide fob was the Most Tragic song ….. u r so correct oh my god
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honeydrift · 5 years ago
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listening to calm for the first time (kinda)
sorta got to hear the songs on the instagram live they did but not clearly so here we go, prepare for grammar that doesn’t make sense and the overuse of the word ‘sick’
red desert - the drums in this are CRAZY, calum said on twitter that it’s the best to listen to on vinyl and i already know he is correct, so so sick, a brilliant start to an album, i thought when they were saying north they were saying knife in a really thick australian accent n got confused
no shame - i can’t listen to this song without picturing the bit in the music video where they’re all bouncing and luke is crouching? you know the bit, it’s so fucking cool, the interlude? so sick, this song was made to do some fuckin spinning to, i can just picture calum playing it live and whizzing around the stage, idk what the fuck makes the sound sin the background but it’s beautiful
old me - so cool, so different? like wow we love a diverse band, also the music video was tooo good n got me very in my feels, the quiet little harmonies in the chorus are so cool, i’m constantly reMINded, lukes voice is just crazy in this the boy is so talented, the rising drums i-, lukes little riffs of ‘lonely’ in the background at the end are gorgeous
easier - where it all began !! man i remember this song coming out while i was at school and listening to it at break sharing earphones with my best friend, the pre chorus is just my favourite part it’s so cool, lukes voice really Did That on this song, also the dynamic of the relationship this song is about? so interesting, dadadadumdadada, and then the end where it’s all stripped back? so sick
teeth - calum really went hard on this one, just the most soul shaking bass there ever was, and then LUKE WITH THE VOCALS, dont know if i’m gonna make it out of this album alive if u know what i mean, the chorus is just so punchy i love it, u just KNOW it’s gonna be so sick live, the guitar at the end is CRAZY
wildflower - my boy calum went SO HARD with this one, calums vocals could not be more perfect for this song, the pre chorus makes my soul happy, i’m devastated they didn’t get to film the music video for this, sex was invented when calum hood sang these lyrics, ‘waterfall is overflowing’ is such a sick lyric it sticks out in my head so much, ooOo, the ‘tell you what i like’ shakes my soul, this song makes me think of pink and teal it makes me very happy
best years - i don’t know what the instrument in the background is at the beginning but i love it, they really be baring their souls here, i love lukes voice so so much, in the live they said they’d hope this would be a wedding song and i can 1000% see it, ‘i wanna hold your hand while we grow up’ is SUCH a sweet lyric, OO THE DRUMS CAME IN HARD UNEXPECTEDLY AT THE END, so pretty
not in the same way - starting strong straight away, ‘we fuck we fight then you call me a psychoooo’ oh my god, the harmonies on psycho and go though?, i LOVE this one oh my god, the HARMONIES, the RISING DRUMS, this is so so sick i don’t even know what to say, waaAaAAYyy, fuck me this 3rd verse is SICK, the R I S I N G D R U M S, cal doing some bass work in the back there, i love love love the harmonies in this one, wow that was really fucking good i think it’s one of my favourites
lover of mine - acoustic !!!!! i cannot stress enough how beautiful lukes voice is, that’s a really cool guitar riff, the pre chorus !!!!!, ‘you’re the only thing that i think i got right’ damn okay hitting me in the heart here, michaels doing bits on the guitar tho, i love being able to hear when it’s calum doing the harmonies, lovely ending
thin white lies - groovy start, this is so cool, THIN WHITE LIES, i LOVE the chorus, calums and lukes voices gel SO NICELY together, ‘my loooOooOove’, ‘i don’t think i like me anymore’ wow i want to cry, emotional lyrics but such groovy musicality, ashton doing BITS in the background, the driving guitar riff in this is really cool, WHAT A SICK ENDING THAT WAS ABRUPT
lonely heart - the little 123 aw, very intimate, ‘such a lonely heaaaAAAaart’, the bit where they repeat lonely is so cool sounding, CALUMS HARMONIES, the aaaaas in the background are GORGEOUS, the DRUMS, OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS, THEY JUST KEEP ADDING MORE HARMONIES, this is deffo one of my faves this is so sick, the echo effect on the vocals is so cool it feels like we’re in a canyon
high - another intimate start, lukes riffs are stoopid good, for a second i thought that was ash singing???, ‘hiiIiighly’, really ending the album with sad boi hours, OO the aaaaas i’m the background yet again, the crackle sound is so pretty, DADADADDADA OOOOOOOO, wow what a tragically beautiful end, this is GORGEOUS, really hitting me in the heart with that last note wow
what an album !!!!!!!!!
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scaryscarecrows · 5 years ago
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Hello Yes No Goodbye
It’s been two weeks since Granny’s…untimely passing…and the leaves are starting to change. Jonathan’s not going to lie, he’s not exactly looking forward to longer nights. It’s…it’s not an easy thing, to sleep in this big, old house by himself. He knows it’s impossible, but he’s been waking up at two in the morning, drenched in sweat and knowing that Granny’s hauled herself out of the chapel and up the stairs and is at this moment clawing at his door.
Kitty’s parents are out of town this evening, which means she’s coming over for a little while to help him search for the deed. At least, that’s what she said. When he opens the door to let her in, she’s got a bag of candles and a plank sticking out of the top.
“What is that.”
“It’s a Ouija board!” she says. “A real one, though, from…I don’t know, s’my da’s side of the family. Eighteen-something. He says it’s made out of a coffin.”
He pulls it free. It is, indeed, old and wooden. It’s a dark wood, with questionable stains on the back, and the varnish is either too much or not quite enough. There’s some weight to it, though. It feels like it could at the very least leave a goose egg on somebody’s head.
“Uh-huh.”
“You’ve never done it, have you.”
“Kitty. Name a direction you can turn without seeing a church.”
“There isn’t one.”
“Mm-hm.” He flips the board. It’s hand-painted, with the alphabet and numbers taking up most of the room. “We had an exorcism five years ago. So, no, I have never so much as touched a Ouija board. Granny would have killed me.”
“Good thing you killed her first, then,” she says breezily, sweeping past him and towards the dining room. “Come on, let’s see what happens.”
“Why?”
“Because your house has better ambiance than mine, and it’s older.”
That, at least, is true. Keeny Manor dates back to shortly after the Revolution, and it has a nasty history. Granny was fond of telling him all about the tragic accidents, betrayals, and lynchings that have happened on the property through the centuries.
…it’s no wonder he had night terrors as a boy.
“Kitty, nothing is going to happen.”
“How do you know?”
“Because there’s no such things as ghosts.”
“Yeah, but it’ll still be fun.”
…maybe. They may as well. If nothing else, Granny would hate to see the thing used in her Good Christian Dining Room™, which means he has to do it out of spite.
“Let me get a sheet.”
“For what?”
“Stay there, you’ll get lost!”
“Why do we need a sheet?”
He pulls one out of the closet and comes back, throws it over the big old mirror hanging on the far wall. It makes it look more than a little unsettling, but that’s not the point.
“Now you can’t yell at me for using that to scare you,” he says. She scoffs.
“Like you won’t try to scare me, anyway.”
Likely, but now he’ll have to be subtle. It’ll be a challenge.
The dining room hasn’t seen much use since Granny’s departure. They clear off one end of the long table and Kitty lays out the board, surrounds it with candles, and fishes around until she comes up with the planchette and a lighter. The planchette goes on the board. The lighter starts moving around the candles. Once they’re lit (they’re brighter than he’d thought they’d be), he shuts off the lights and sits down across from her.
“If we get sucked in, it’s your fault,” he says.*
“Thought you didn’t believe?”
No, but he wants to absolve himself of responsibility anyway. Just in case.
They sit and rest their fingers on the planchette. It’s much better varnished than the board-even and slick, and the glass in the middle is very thick.
Nothing happens. No spooky gust of air, no whispers, no nothing.
“What now.”
Kitty ignores him in favor of asking, “Is anyone here?”
He knows how these work. Minute tremblings of the fingers and psychological predisposition makes the thing move. But he’ll admit, it’s a little unsettling (because it’s dark and because this house is the sort scary stories are written about) when the planchette sliiiiides across the wood and stops on the yes.
“That was fast,” Kitty whispers.
“It’s an old house,” he whispers back. “Remind me to tell you about the madwoman in the attic.”
She taps her foot against his shin and raises her voice to the board.
“Hello.”
Must be protocol. Manners are important and all that.
“Hello.”
The planchette doesn’t move. Okay. Kitty shrugs and says, “What is your name?”
It moves this time, to the M. But it doesn’t go any further. It’s probably tiring, moving this big, heavy thing.
“How did you-okay. Okay, never mind.”
The planchette first moves to the hello. Then, after a second (catching its breath?), it goes down, towards the J. O. N. A.
“Very funny, Kitty.”
She’s not laughing.
“That’s not me,” she says. “Look.”
She pulls her fingers back. The planchette continues to move. T. H. “That’s you.”
It’s Scarecrow, is who it is. He withdraws his hands--
--and it keeps going. A. N.
“That’s never happened before.”
The planchette doesn’t move again. Maybe it got pushed when they took their hands off. Yes, yes, that’s what happened. When it doesn’t do anything outlandish, like fly up and take out an eye, he figures he’s correct.
“Well?”
Kitty looks a little less enthused than she did earlier, but she puts her fingers back. The planchette quivers a little. One-or both, more likely, it’s cold in here-of them is shaking.
“How did you die?”
“That’s a little personal, isn’t it?”
“That’s what you’re supposed to ask.”
“Can’t you ask if we passed English--”
“Oh, please, like anybody could fail that if they tried--”
B. I. R. D. S.
“You’re not funny,” he says faintly, folding his hands in his lap. “Come on, Kitty--”
“I’m telling you, I’m not doing it! Look!”
She puts her hands in the air. The planchette keeps going.
M. U. R. D. E. R.
“Jonathan--”
“Don’t look at me--”
There’s a loud thumping noise upstairs and they both jump. The planchette doesn’t move, but Jonathan will swear, if only for a second, that gnarled fingers brush his cheek before something blows out the candles.
Caw!
WHAT-wait. Wait, wait, where’d she put that lighter…she’s got it, never mind.
A candle relights. A crow is just visible on the china cabinet, looking ruffled and irritated that there’s people in here.
Caw!
“We should go.”
“Uh-huh”
Caw!
They start inching towards the door, abandoning the damn board on the table. The crow flaps angrily and Jonathan reaches over to pinch the candle wick. There’s more angry cawing, but at least it can’t see them.
Like it’s ever mattered before, but…
They’re barely out of the room when there’s the unmistakable sound of it kicking off the wood and flapping around for a second before--
--oh. Oh boy, time to go, time to go, time to duck!
He drops, yanking her down after him, and it soars over them and off to somewhere else in the house. Upstairs, sounds like. Great.
When it doesn’t come back, they make a break for the front door and burst onto the porch, panting. The moon’s rising, illuminating what’s left of the scarecrow. He’s never been so glad to see the useless thing in his life.
“Let’s not do that again,” Kitty says, a little breathless, and he nods.
“I’ll walk you home.”
“You’ll come in, I’m not staying by myself.”
“Scared?”
“Yes,” she says, and she sounds so offended that he’d even ask that he has to laugh. “Stop laughing, you were scared, too!”
“I was not.”
“Lies!” Yes. Yes, lies. But he’s not about to admit it. “Besides, you said something a madwoman in the attic. You can’t just leave it at that.”
Fine. But he’ll be telling that story with the lights on tonight. Just in case.
THE END
* *insert Jumanji drums here*
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faunusrights · 6 years ago
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‘AFTER THE FALL’ - LIVEREAD III
The more I hear about the latter half of this book, the more depresso espresso I’m drinking. Let’s see how it goes, huh?
(Since there’s more chapters in the latter half than the first half, short chapters will probably get combined together for the sake of. I’m lazy.)
CHAPTERS EIGHT AND NINE
I love that Velvet’s the one who enlisted Weiss and Yang, expecting shit to go sideways. She saw these two gays on main and went ‘they look like they can party’. Was she wrong? No. Did she invite Cinder for the express purpose of drama? Yes. Can you make me stop shipping Sinnamon Bun? Also no.
Okay, this book has read my mine though!!! Ruby pitches a Beacon Battle Club where they play music as they fight, and no word of a fucking lie, that happens in Great Weiss Shark AU! I am not kidding! I had this whole story planned out! This is theft of the HIGHEST order.
“Doilies are absurd and elitist,” Yang said.
This is simultaneously the least Yang-like line and also the most Yang-like line I’ve ever heard. The duality of idiot, I suppose.
I like Fox! I really do, actually! He’s my son now. Although, the bad news is I dunno if I can replicate him in The Frapp Logs, so he’ll just have to keep dragging Coco to the ends of the earth. Same thing, right? R-right?
“Leaders can’t be the comic relief.” Fox raised his eyebrows. “Jaune.”
Is this the second time Jaune’s been dragged? I’m living for it. Also, sleepy Blake! And CFVY knowing she’s (they’re) a Faunus! And the second book behind a book! I love you, Blake.
Velvet correcting Yatsu’s ‘catnap’ joke! I wrote a ficlet about this exact thing once, so I TOLD you my Velvet’s NEARLY CANON. SHE JUST NEEDS TO EAT MORE PROTEIN IS ALL.
Onto chapter nine. God, these chapters get thinner by the second, huh?
BACK TO THE DESERT WE GO, and there’s... fog? Which is now gone! Wow! Is this a plot device? Foreshadowing? I sure hope so, because why on earth it would warrant a mention we’re just not too sure!
A sandstorm is incoming and hidden tracks are gonna get blasted away. I’m trying to figure out if this is all pathetic fallacy or if I’m reading too much into handy-dandy plot devices. Why not both?
Heart-to-heart with Coco and Yatsu... and we’re back to Yatsu giving Velvet all the hugs. Now that I’m sensing the Velv/Yats vibes, I’m extra suspicious. You stop that. Let Velvet have a fashionable GF at least if you won’t let her kiss Weiss!!!
‘[...] even the women were down to halter tops. Focus, Coco, she thought.’
Ah, lesbian as always. I’m soothed. Carmine enters the tent and Coco gets even gayer. I’m very soothed.
‘What was Jaune doing after losing a member of his team, a friend... someone he clearly cared about.’
I don’t care about what Jaune feels. Why the heck would Coco even care? There’s literally so many more people that impacts than just Jaune, lawd.
CHAPTER TEN AND ELEVEN
Back to Fox, who is honestly the shining star of this book by now. I love you, my blind and sassy son.
I love Ada and the battle mechanic she has! I’m really enjoying how Fox interacts with the world around him and using his Scroll and AI as an accessibility device. It’s neat! I didn’t expect them to go as ham on him as they did, but they did.
“Update,” Ada said. “Weapon has projectile capabilities.” “You mean it’s also a gun.”
Obligatory gun meme.
Combat stuff happens, Fox wins a fight against a confused Edward, and it turns out Gus is the one summoning Grimm and Fox just got jumped, so we slide into another flashback for chapter eleven. Lemme tell ya, this book ain’t afraid of moving fast.
“I guess you slightly oversold your ability to track the survivors,” Coco said.
Again, this is one of those lines that reads as very... callous? Kinda mean? I’ve always had Coco in my head as someone who very broadly puts her team (and their feelings) first, even if it’s rough, so lines like this make me go 🤔
Velvet falls, Yatsu panics, Coco gets up in everyone’s grill. There’s a lot to this dynamic I am not enjoying right now, and even then this seems inconsistent with the CFVY we’ve seen in the book itself. I know the author’s trying to communicate that Coco is tired and frustrated, that I get, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t how... it would really happen given her character? I dunno. ‘S weird.
Was that a fat joke I spotted there? From Coco? I need a nap. Also COCO LET VELVET DO THINGS JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK ME SIDEWAYS!!!!!!!!!!
Coco has claustrophobia! I wrote her as having agoraphobia, so this is a hilarious turn of events. Also Coco has two brothers, not one: Mate and Toma.
Coco is fighting Grimm in a cave with CFVY, but still finds time to criticise Velvet in combat. Hey, maybe if you let her do things, she’d prove you wrong, dingus. And then she does! See!
Aaaaaaaand the six survivors are all dead. This was a pretty traumatic event, all told, which makes it weird that they look... less affected in the show? Still, this chapter was VERY weird for the characterisations because Coco seems especially inconsistent, alas. Anyway, onto:
CHAPTERS TWELVE AND THIRTEEN
The sandstorm is approaching and catching the wagons, which I have just realised are actually vehicles that use fuel. Mostly because that’s the First I Heard Of It.
‘Velvet noticed a pistol tucked in the back before she closed the door.’
Hi, can Chekhov please pick up his gun from aisle twelve? Thanks.
GIANT SAND TURTLE. AVATAR AANG C’MERE Y’ALL GOTTA LEARN HOW TO DEFEAT THE FIRELORD.
“You said it’s big enough to ride on?” Velvet asked.
Maybe this is why Coco dismisses Velvet so often. She only pitches the craziest ideas, which is why I love her. That said, Coco finally lets Velvet do something! It’s a miracle of man! Climb that turtle, bihh!
Yatsu calls Velvet V. I’m so used to Velv that V sounds entirely too cool for this idiot.
Everyone’s pissed again, but-- IS THAT THE SAND WORM THING FROM ARRAKIS?! What A Tweest!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nobody coulda seen THAT coming!!!!!
So let’s go to chapter thirteen, where Fox has had the shit beaten out of him behind a Denny’s. Sound about right.
So what’s-his-name-- Bertilak, whomst from now on shall be called Bert because what sorta water tribe name even is that (wow the ATLA references are on fire today). Anyway, Bert is being paid by someone else to deliver people with Stronk Semblances like summoning Grimm! Gee I Wonder Who That Might Be (I don’t actually know but I’m honestly not going to be surprised either way).
“Yeah, [Bert]’s a real bastard.” “Even I can see that,” Fox sent.
I love it. Fox really has been the highlight of this book for me.
Fox is on the ground and the referee is counting him to ten, so it’s mid-chapter-flashback time! We learn how Fox’s parents died (sinkhole) and how that became his motivation for... going to Beacon? Okay, tenuous link at best, but I’m going with it.
Carmine is full of trouble and Fox is determined to take Bert with ‘em. Let him DIE.
I’m gonna keep going since we’re not four chapters from the end, so:
CHAPTERS FOURTEEN AND FIFTEEN
Flashback time! Again! Only it’s CFVY’s POV of their return to Beacon. I wouldn’t mind this if like. We hadn’t already seen this from RWBY’s perspective in the show? People know this from my tastes in fanfic, but I’m not a huge fan of retellings of canon events, it’s soooooo boooooring. So I’m just gonna grind through this asap.
(I do like that RWBY and CFVY have all these parallels being called to. As they should.)
Okay we’re past the recap and OH LAWD I HEARD OF THIS BIT. Goodwitch is here (I love u Glynda no matter what) but yeah, I’ve heard this part is Big Oof so uh, let’s see this happen go down. Velvet is being requested to see Ozpin so /buckles down.
Velvet’s being questioned alone for the Whole Thing, and team CFVY have burst into the office demanding to know why, and Velvet’s a crying wreck! I’m still very >:I for everyone being overprotective of Velvet, c’mon, but also: Oz, can you please have tact? Just once in your life? Tact? Do you has it?
Anyway, CFVY have reconciled and we turn to chapter fifteen, in which: Yatsu.
Carmine has Gus, everyone’s on the Turtmobile, and shit’s hitting the fan. Yatsu’s going after Gus and Carmine alone, and I’m still waiting on Chekov’s Gun to Chekov its way right into someone’s butt. Unless it’s Chekov’s Red Herring.
Here comes a fight scene! I never have much to say during fight scenes, so, uh, yeah. There’s some real last-minute exposition in places, though, where it really shouldn’t be.
Eey, Carmine is telekinetic! Very powerful and also OP, gotta nerf that shit right down, Edward.
Yatsu’s very nearly defeated, Bert is back, baby, and shit’s getting real. Time for chaaaaaaaaaper sixteeeeeeeeeen.
CHAPTERS SIXTEEN AND SEVENTEEN
Today’s livereading soundtrack is Simple Things by Zero 7. The whole album, I mean. This is a fun little fact to make sure you’re still awake and aware, ‘cause I sure ain’t!
Roy Stallion of BRNZ is presumed dead, along with the whole team, so big RIP to May, who was cute and deserved better. Swear to God if ABRN are dead too I will kill a man. Two men, to be specific.
Velvet admits she never wanted to come to Vacuo, Coco promises they’ll return to reclaim Beacon in future. This reads like a protagonist’s last speech on hope and strength in friendship... and it should, as Coco gets swallowed by a worm! Straight up just down the hatch! This should be a tragic beat, but this is honestly so funny. Coco, pick better ways to die.
Anyway, we’re onto chapter seventeen. I was very kindly given this message:
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And I-- OH HELL YES! HELL YES IT’S A SCHOOL DAY TIMETABLE!!!!!!!!!! THE LORE! THE CLASSES! THE NAMES! THE FACTS! THIS IS THE BEST THING IN THE ENTIRE BOOK SO FAR WHICH REALLY GOES TO SHOW I HAVE NO HOBBIES!
Is this a... flashback? Flash... forward? I’m not sure, actually. Either way, CFVY are in Beacon clearing the place of Grimm. Actually, this must be a flashback to before they went to Vacuo, I suppose, which would make sense to follow Velvet’s little admittance last chapter before Coco got swallowed like a paracetamol tablet.
Velvet waited for someone to ask her what she thought, what she wanted, by no one did.
Now I’m SAD why won’t people be NICE to VELVET just ONCE!!! God, this book really just gives her the short end of the stick every time.
Off go CFVY to Vacuo. Bye.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN AND EPILOGUE
Heremst we go.
Coco’s alive! I mean, no surprise. And full of the Joques as ever:
Coco figured sacrificing your life for a teammate was one way to be remembered as a good leader, but maybe that was just cheating.
RIP Coco and her claustrophobia! Hey, now that was good foreshadowing! That gets a whole Murphy Cookie of Approval. 🍪
Coco loses her Scroll and her hat, but Velvet swoops in to save the day! Meanwhile, Bert has been convinced that Carmine double-crossed him, so they’re battling it out! Basically, Gus cast frenzy. Finally, it works in everyone’s favour.
“I can’t believe I thought you were cute,” Coco spat.
Some lines in this book haven’t been very good. This one, on the other hand, very much is.
So Carmine goes underground and starts creating sinkholes everywhere like a weird desert gremlin, and Edward manages to block her Semblance and like. Carmine flat-out nearly suffocates herself to death. Another death I would have found both gruesome and hilarious for its irony. But Velvet uses Flynt’s trumpet to quite literally doot the sand away, and-- I’m so sorry, this line has me literally laughing to myself. She fuckin’-- doots the sand. Oh my god.
Anyway they win, catch up with Slate and the Nomad Fam, and meet team SSSN! The boys are back in town!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Things are looking good.
Epilogue time. I’m still laughing about the sand-dooting.
So, we don’t know who paid Bert and Carmine, I guess? I do believe there’s maybe a sequel or something in the works, apparently, so maybe this is part of an overarching plot type thingie. Still.
Ah, yep, Coco confirms that they’re not through with this line of investigation yet, But, Velvet wraps it up with a heart-felt, if not a little bit cheesy, segment about home being wherever CFVY is, and so the book comes to a close.
WRAP-UP
So, I’m definitely gonna have a second read-through of this without having to constantly stop and do a liveblog, but the book was... okay, I guess? I feel like this plotline wasn’t the greatest one for CFVY, and that the author doesn’t have a crazy good handle on the characters -- he’s likely more suited to original content, which is valid. It’s a good romp and we do get new lore, but as expected, I feel like CFVY would be best used in the show that conceived them in the first place. A book is nice, but I’d love to see their return in RWBY itself, especially since this book wasn’t really... long enough, I don’t think? Seriously, y’all’ve met me. I do write hundreds of thousands of words in this world and I still haven’t written everything I wanna yet! I’d also like to see more Velvet as seen in RWBY Chibi, in which was she Cool and Good, and maybe less Yatsu alongside her directly. But! It’s a book! It’s decent! It’s CFVY! For most people, it’s Good Enough. And they’re valid too.
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chokefriends · 6 years ago
Text
Pit-town Strays, Ch.5
Kidlaw softness and redneck shenanigans in a northern mining town. Everything’s fucked but whatever.
Rated T, no warnings. Ch 5: Law explores his escape routes but knows he isn’t going anywhere.
Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - [Ch. 5]
Read on Ao3 too, I’m Ossicle
Law was still staring at the same channel when Bellamy and Dellinger returned an hour later. Law heard them rumble up, and muted the sound to signal the all-clear.
“Fish tacos for Bellamy, gross curry for Law,” Dellinger unpacked their takeout onto the coffee table and dug into his own.
“Thanks,” Law muttered, but didn't get up from the armchair.
“Uh,” Bellamy pointed furtively to Law's arm. The wrist was purpling.
“Shit…” Law pulled his sleeve down over it and hooked his thumb through a hole in the hem. “Whatever. Whacked it on a thing.”
Bellamy stayed standing for a minute, scuffing a toe into the carpet. “Dad’s been worried a lot, is all,” he tried eventually.
“Yeah I know,” Law answered in the same tone.
“Y’know, cuz of this one,” Bellamy jabbed his thumb at the smallest of the three and shook his head.
“...”
The blunt face creased irritably at Law's silence, and Bellamy gave up. He sat down with a grunt to tear into his own takeout box.
“Dellinger,” he grouched at the only other target in the room, “Stop tryna reconstruct the squid, just eat it. God, can you not be such a psychopath? You're making everyone upset—”
“Bellamy.” Law cut him off with a warning look. “He's right here, don't say that.”
Dellinger seemed unperturbed, but very little ever seemed to bother him. “Actually, ‘psychopath’ is not even a thing anymore? And I don't fit the criteria according to this online test I took.”
“Psycho,” Bellamy accused.
“Not!”
Law rose with a sigh and went to sit between them on the couch. “What’d you get, Del.”
“Tentacles,” Dellinger showed him his seafood, with all the squid pieces collected in a little squidlike arrangement.
“Huh. Looks better than the frog leg thing, I guess.”
“That was just an experiment. I wasn't gonna eat it,” Dellinger rolled his eyes. “I saw online that the legs move by themselves if you put em in a saltwater solution. I just wanted to try.”
“That's pretty cool,” Law reassured him.
Bellamy scoffed. “That he's killing off all the pondlife around here? Yeah it's great.”
“I’m not even killing em, just snipping off their extra legs! Most of the frogs here have like three legs and four eyes anyway. Or more, closer you get to the Pit. It's the runoff.”
“Huh… Wonder if it'll start morphing humans too,” Law mused.
“Prolly just gives humans cancer.” Dellinger gave it some thought. “You think human legs could move by themselves?”
“Only one way to find out,” Law joked.
Bellamy gave a sudden snort of disgust, picked up his dinner, and disappeared off to his room. The door thunked shut and Nickelback started blaring through it.
Law ignored all this, but Dellinger looked at the closed door in confusion, then went back to stirring his food and fidgeting. They ate in silence for a while.
“I don't wanna make people upset,” the skinny kid spoke up eventually.
Law nodded, still chewing, but didn't respond right away.
Dellinger speared a tentacle and frowned at it. “I don't think it hurts them for real. And it's not like Dad or anyone even cares about frogs. Bellamy thinks it's funny to run them over…”
“I think they're worried about how it'll look to other people,” Law explained.
“Other people are stupid.”
“Yeah,” Law agreed. “Anyway, just stick to animals with extraneous appendages. And don't take any more experiments to school.”
“It’s not like I'm gonna take the legs off people's pets or whatever. Geez. It's just frogs…” Dellinger sighed and got up to go to bed as well. His room was way upstairs on the second floor, where Bellamy and Law used to sleep when they were younger.
“Take your plate,” Law reminded him automatically.
“Why does everybody always tell me what do do… I hate it.” He started to go upstairs.
“Dellinger, take your fucking plate.”
“You take it.”
���You wanna get in trouble with Dad?” Law warned him, “You're not a baby anymore, just clean up your shit.”
“You're supposed to do all that.” Dellinger shot back, hanging off the bannister and pouting.
“I'm supposed to fucking what now?”
“Well, I'm not the one who gets in trouble when stuff's not clean. You're here to take care of us, or you have to go back to the reservation, right?”
Law's eyebrows flew up in disbelief, and then creased in anger. “I'm not fucking ‘on loan’ from wherever; I'm your fucking brother!”
Bellamy shouted from behind his closed door, “Dellinger! Take your plate upstairs or I swear to god your psycho ass is getting shipped to foster care!!”
Dellinger stomped his way upstairs instead, leaving his dinner behind.
Law snorted and sat back with arms crossed. He was going to storm off to his own room too, but he kept looking back at the leftover tentacles sticking up obscenely from the styrofoam container. He made a noise of muffled rage and threw the entire thing in the trash. There. Jesus... Now at least he wouldn't get any bruises that he hadn't fucking earned himself.
His phone buzzed.
Kidd: Where the fuk r the bandaids, u let nami use em all?
Law stared at the screen for a moment, head starting to pound, then fired back:
You: I don't fyckig know where the band-aids are im not your fucking housekeeper and I don't got any control over your shitass kid for CHRIDT SAKE
The phone buzzed again but Law flicked the notification away.
He brought up Baby's number instead and escaped outside into the darkness and silence. She didn't pick up at first and he had to call back a few times, as usual. By the time she picked up, he'd gotten himself hidden away in the passenger side of the Volvo with the seat leaned all the way back.
Baby sounded cogent but irritable. “Geez, you got Buff thinking I got another man,” she complained.
“‘Buff’ is a stupid name.” Law massaged the bridge of his nose.
“Not as stupid as ‘Buffalo,’” she sighed.
“Jesus, his parents actually named him that?”
“Yeah, they hippies.”
Law snorted. “Native hippies?”
“It's a thing.”
Law licked his lips and tried to think of what to say next, but his throat felt tight.
Baby prompted him, “Well, what up, big brother. You want a ride somewhere?”
“That's not the only reason I ever call you.”
“Haha… little bit.”
Law swallowed a surge of guilt. “Sorry. I’ve been kinda stretched thin these days—”
“Yeah I know. Big man, you. Important stuff to do.”
“I wanna see you more, though. You ever think about that thing we were talking about before? Getting mom and dad's old place back? Where we all lived before they got sick…”
Baby took a moment to answer. “Heh… I see it sometimes, when I'm driving around here.”
Law smiled. “Yeah? So how's rez life treating ya.”
“It's chill. I dunno, small. It's weird sometimes, even jus trying to like, hang with people. You know? They think I'm after something, I guess…”
“Probably just takes time.” Law reassured her. “Probably once we're both living there again and people get used to us—”
She interrupted, “Law, you don't actually think you'll end up here, right?”
“Why not?”
Baby always did that little huff thing when she had something to say. She did it twice and then put on her stern voice. “Like, what would you even do on the rez. There's no sushi, no fancy little coffee shops, and the first time you get too smart you'll get your perfect teeth all knocked down.”
“‘Knocked out,’” he corrected under his breath. “And what, you think I can't handle myself?”
“You don't wanna be here, is what I'm saying. You're too used to that whole life.”
“What whole life.”
“You know what I mean,” Baby sniffed. “Suburbia. Sunday brunch. Sunscreen…”
“That stuff’s not…! I’m not… You think I wanted to get adopted white??” Law challenged.
“Least you got adopted.”
Law had had enough. “Well, it's been a super load off my chest talking to ya, baby sister.”
“Don't get sarcastic with me,” she snapped.
“Give Buffy my bestest,” he continued.
“It’s ‘Buffalo.’”
He scoffed. “Sure. Also, he's our first cousin on mom's side.”
“He's wh—?!!”
Law hung up with a petty little burst of triumph. The feeling didn't last long, though.
“Shit…”  
He sat there kicking at the glove box and letting his anger ebb away into shame. There was a black marker in the center console, and he took up his little dot-decorations again, this time on the sleeve of his hoodie. He circled and filled in wandering patches until his foggy head had cleared and he could look at his phone again.
I do wanna see you more, he texted to Baby, who didn't reply.
Law sighed and moved on to the results of the outburst just before that one. He clicked back into the convo with Kidd, expecting harsh words.
That bad eh, Kidd had replied simply to Law's rant.
Law snorted. He tapped the phone icon and waited.
“G’day,” came the wry answer.
“The fuck you need band-aids for now?” Law questioned him.
Kidd put on a tragic tone. “I got a boo-boo, man. I need that animal sticker magic.”
“Oh? What'd you do.”
“Punched a goose.”
Law laughed out loud, unexpectedly. “You fucking did not,” he put his feet up on the dash and tried not to sound like he was smiling.
“Yeah… well, it was beating up on this one poor dog chained up in a yard. Only dog on a leash in the whole place, seriously.”
“Your yard has a dog post in it too, right? Where'd that one go?” Law remembered the lonely post with the deep path tread around it.
“Oh… yeah, dad took her with him when he left last year—this German shepherd he got us as a present because he was always gone. She was supposed to keep us out of trouble, I guess, but she kept taking off and like, trying to herd coyotes or whatever, haha… He eventually chained her up in the yard and she just wore that circle into the ground every day.”
“That's so shitty,” Law shook his head.
“Yeah. I hope he took her somewhere she can run… anyway, whatever.” Kidd coughed, seeming to not wanna talk about it further.
“Yeah. Uh… So you defeated the goose, eh.”
“Hah! Not even—I had to get back on the bike and run for it! At least I drew it away from the dog.”
Law let himself laugh. “Yeah, aw, you saved it!”
Kidd laughed too. “I should've just let it off the leash. It probably would've fucked that goose up itself.”
“Well, I'll bring you animal band-aids next time I come.”
“Thanks. Uh.” Kidd paused. “So you're gonna come back?”
Law's lightened mood abruptly darkened again. He examined the purple patterns trailing from sleeve to skin—vivid and unbearably obvious. “Yeah, uh. Maybe not tomorrow, though...”
“No?”
“I got school stuff.”
“Oh, yeah. Day after?”
“Maybe the day after that…” Law evaded. He tried coloring in the dark blotches with marker, casting around for a topic to get away from this one. But Kidd seemed to read his silence anyway.
“Hey uh. You know you can just stay here? Whenever? However long,” Kidd offered.
“Uh.”
“And I don't mean as like, a live-in nanny thing either. You don't have to do anything. I don't think of you as a housekeeper.”
Law wanted to cringe away under the seat. “Nono, I don't actually think you think that! I was just lashing out about other stuff.”
“All the cleaning is kinda weird, tee-bee-aych.”
“I know. It's compulsive.”
“But you could just… stay,” Kidd emphasized again, like all this was simple.
Law stared off into the darkness beyond the windshield. He could imagine what it'd be like, sleeping with his head on a strong shoulder, breathing warmth, in a tiny house like a shoebox-nest full of other scuffed-up odds and ends. It sounded worlds better than fucking sunday brunch and sportscars…
“I don't think I can right now.”
“No, eh.”
“Anyway, I gotta get to sleep,” Law mumbled apologetically. “School tomorrow.”
“Yeah.” Kidd switched back to whatever-mode.
“I'll text you, eh? When I'm thinking of coming over.”
“Yeah, sounds good, you got my number.”
“Yeah.”
Law hung up and sat there, chewing his lip and breathing the stuffy air of the Volvo. He could just drive to Kidd's right now. Just go. But then what, wear gloves? Invent some goose story of his own? No… he couldn't leave like this, at least not yet.
But he couldn't make himself go out of the car and back to the house either.
He let his mind wander through its worries and his hands perform their restless tasks, until his phone died and the marker ran out. Then he curled up in the passenger seat to sleep.
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wannawrite · 7 years ago
Text
The Royals - KD [ pt.2 ]
who?: Wanna One’s Kang Daniel 
genre: 🌺🌸
type: bullet point 
TW:  violence, guns - GUN! CONTROL!, profanity
blog navigator.
part two \ two 
one 
mafia! AU 
you’ve always known he could break bones, but you never thought Kang Daniel was capable of breaking your heart 
concludes daniel’s story! sorry this literally took a decade to upload, hope y’all ain’t starved 
- Admin L 
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disclaimer: pictures used do not belong to me and credit goes to their original owners everything purely fictional DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERING 
time went on as usual 
eventually, you announced to your friends and family that you and Daniel were no longer a thing 
it was tragic sad
at least your friends never left your side through the thick and thin 
JooE even offered to throw away the painting she had painted but you insisted she keep it 
you avoided him as much as you could at school 
not much because he was literally EVERYWHERE 
last time, you appreciated the fact you too had so many clashing classes and lunch slots...
now they just were more opportunities for the dagger lodged in your chest to sink deeper 
• thankfully, Daniel didn’t shoot a sad puppy dog look or a cheery smile because you would hAVE CRACKED INTO PIECES AND GOTTEN BACK WITH HIM YEAH 
whipped 
whipped enough for you to still congratulate him on graduation day and made that a final goodbye to your ex-boyfriend 
okay maybe you were just a courteous person 
you wondered how his mafia was doing 
how was Jeon Somi? what was Ong Seongwoo up to? 
after a short two days of staying at Somi’s apartment - she got you out of the wrecked Kang mansion - you grew attached to her and considered her your friend 
however, you only managed to get her KakaoTalk and due to her busy schedule, she almost never replied to your messages 
in a sense, you missed out on the exciting mafia lifestyle 
but better safe than sorry right? especially when dealing with the law 
some people just weren’t cut out to be part of organised crime associations 
sometimes...whenever you let your mind wander, it would take you to an alternate universe where you had stayed with Daniel 
here Daniel had accepted your help and stuck with you 
a world where you too held the mark of a royal - a tattooed crown 
you would be one of them 
and it would be you and Daniel. Both of you missions together, going up against NCT, fighting side by side 
mundane school life thrown into the wind, caution tossed far away 
you could be travelling all over the globe with the love of your life, tracking down NCT members and claiming heists
that could’ve been your new life
but it wasn’t 
and Daniel wasn’t involved in your current...that bit kind of sucked the most if you were completely honest 
...you wanted him, and all of his dark secrets 
haha but you had neither 
strangely, life seemed well enough for you to forget the majority of the details, only remembering the important parts 
life goes on
people move on 
so why the hell was there a bitter aftertaste on the tip of your tongue when you saw a post on IG with Daniel in it 
he seemed to be posing with close friends, pulling candid faces 
who tf are they and why do I still follow them 
@kinghwan 
uhhh Kim Jaehwan from that one Christmas part from 3 years ago? 
it was more of your cousin’s party, which is why you only knew your family there
you think you only followed him because he followed you? 
how does he know Daniel? 
why is Daniel so important to him that he must appear in one of the three pictures on his feed 
+ Jaehwan has a lot of followers 14k...they’ll all be seeing Daniel 
WHAT THE HELL 
...those kinds of things happened occasionally 
look that dumb prick went drinking again and he spent money on a bitter Hite can 
stupid...I bet he couldn’t even walk into his house that night 
wait, why do I still care? 
graduation was the last incident you had seen him face to face 
surprisingly, he disappeared right after school had ended, as if he vanished from the face of the earth 
perhaps it was another Kang Daniel effect 
at least he was gone 
that part helped your brain to more or less erase a small chunk of your memories of him 
you just hoped he wasn’t gone for good 
anyway 
you drew out your own map, paved your own path, created an individual route in life 
did whatever the hell you wanted to do 
whatever deemed morally and lawfully correct that is 
be good children okay 
whenever you could, you worked as a flight attendant on one of the country’s top airlines to fund your college tuition 
the stack law school fees weren’t going to pay themselves 
not to be nsfw but here I am organising baguettes on a jet powered by dinosaur bones, flying through clouds  
‘WE HAVE 2 MINUTES BEFORE BOARDING STARTS. WHERE ARE THE BREAD TRAYS.’ 
keep :) calm :)) 
I’m sure everyone is familiar with how boarding a plane works 
you’re checking people’s boarding passes as they march into the aircraft 
some of the names start ringing bells into your head 
fire alarm bells 
Kim Jaehwan 
Kim Chungha 
Ong Seongwoo 
Kim Sohye 
WAIT 
 AS IN THE ONG SEONGWOO FROM FOUR YEARS AGO 
THE KIM JAEHWAN FROM THREE YEARS AGO 
they’re dressed like ordinary passengers, but black masks hide the bottom half of their face 
is Seongwoo wearing circle lenses? 
why the hell are they flying economy when they have 11 private jets? 
just what are The Royals up to now 
f o u r  years ago...it was about trying to salvage Daniel’s relationship with you, protecting you two from NCT 
what are they doing now? 
The Royals: Where are they now? not clickbait
a heist? an ambush attack? meeting with dealers? meeting with NCT? or had their enemy changed? 
dealers as in firearm and car dealers...not drugs 
don’t do drugs kids
and don’t buy illegal firearms or cars, you’ll end up in jail 
just don’t do illegal things 
a small fraction of your heart began to beat wildly once again 
this was the first time you had such a close encounter with people you thought had been left in your past 
a brief look of recognition crossed Seongwoo’s eyes when his gaze fell on you but he pressed his lips together and continued moving down the aisle 
great...just fantastic, the whole gang of them are sitting in the rows I’m in charge of in 
do! not! crack! now! 
Jaehwan couldn’t possibly remember me because he spent the whole party with my cousins and ended up drunk playing the piano 
Seongwoo would’ve shown some sort of response if he remembered 
so, I’m just another flight attendant 
good 
nothing’s gonna happen 
even with that phrase chanting in your head, your hands still shook and heat still scorched the back of your neck 
you simply could not stop yourself from observing them, your eyes rarely left the four faces 
so much so you almost dropped an entire tray of drinks on another passenger 
finally, after serving the passengers’ lunch, you got a chance to catch your breath
‘tired?’ your colleague asked you as she fanned her face, trying to stall the melting of her makeup 
‘definitely, work never stops,’ you replied with a chuckle 
you wondered why she was pulling a weird face and gesturing to ‘turn around’
when you did, you nearly smacked into a girl who bore a black mask 
• your co-worker stepped out of the pantry, closing the thick purple curtain behind her 
‘how can I he-‘ 
it all happened in one fluid motion 
the girl’s hand curled around your throat, your body slammed into the cabinet-lined walls, a gust of breath leaving your lungs 
‘who sent you to keep watching us?’ she snarled, ripping away her black mask 
‘I-I...’ well, what on earth were you going to say? she wouldn’t believe me anyway 
‘don’t test my patience. I won’t spare a second in stopping your air supply.’ There was a furious glint in her eyes, but you had seen this look before
it was the look Daniel gave you when he broke up with you 
it wasn’t out of pure aggression or force, she just wanted to protect her friends
he just wanted to protect you 
maybe himself too 
a bit too late to understand now....
oxygen was rapidly dwindling in your bloodstream and your head began to throb
the sound of metal scraping metal and the curtain being pulled open called you back to consciousness 
‘sohye! want the hell are you doing?’ 
Seongwoo? 
he yanked the girl - supposedly 
Sohye - off you, allowing you to heave deep breath 
Seongwoo restrained her from you, ignoring her attempts to break free. ‘Calm down! It’s them. They...they’re Daniel’s ex.’ 
she froze in her spot, like a deer caught in the headlights 
wow who knew being Daniel’s ex was such a big deal 
who knew it would get me killed? 
‘I-I t-thought NCT sent them. We have no clue who to trust nowadays; NCT has spies everywhere!’ Sohye hissed in a hushed tone 
Seongwoo nodded understandingly, his eyes darting around to ensure the three of you weren’t being watched 
he turned to face you
‘I need you to come with us.’ 
your brows knitted together, puzzled, not quite making sense of what he was trying to tell you 
I’m not a Royal? I haven’t seen one in 4 years 
‘This plane is headed to Dubai right now. There, a jet is waiting to take us to London,’ Sohye explained 
clog wheels began churning rapidly in your head, trying to understand what they were saying 
‘We’re going to see Daniel.’ 
blood coursing through your veins froze, your eyes went round like hard candy, everything around you seemed to stand still 
Kang Daniel, it’s been more than four years since I’ve seen you 
I never imagined that our first meeting would be like this
‘how the hell do you expect me to get out of my job?’ you retorted to the four gang members. ‘I’m due the next flight back to Seoul.’ 
Chungha let out a chuckle. ‘We’ve got connections. I bet someone is already filling your spot.’ 
The Royals were powerful enough to let your strict boss let you off so easily 
ridiculous 
you took a glance at your small overnight luggage and back at the Royalty 
deep breaths 
think about it...it’s now or never 
‘okay, let’s go.’ 
Seongwoo grinned, he grabbed the handle of your luggage. ‘Woojin is waiting in the jet for us.’ 
...hmm...don’t think my chances of escape were high anyway 
Kang Daniel is one rich prick 
I love him 
NO 
you just like his private jet 
who wouldn’t fall in love with the jet that had polished wood floors, plush calf leather seats and a seemingly unlimited supply of food and beverages 
there were even private bedrooms for night flights 
luxurious 
Jaehwan heaved a deep sigh of relief when the plane wheels left the tarmac runway 
he looked like he was just pale of fainting 
‘NCT was watching us. I could feel their eyes on me. Those young kids Jisung and Chenle are unbelievably sneaky.’ 
• is anyone else shook by how drastically nct dream has changed bc me 
‘wait, NCT was around this whole time?’ you asked, chewing the inside of your lips nervously 
‘yeah, they’ve gotten wind of you and more information. Some weird idea of Taeyong’s decided that you were a threat and needed to be eliminated too,’ Chungha spoke up 
‘our mission was to take you to HQ in London, where there are fewer NCT associates. Somi sent us.’ 
‘Daniel doesn’t know......’ 
oh 
wonderful, I’m going to give him the surprise of a lifetime 
‘And I had no idea what you looked like until today, sorry I tried to kill you just now.’ Sohye apologised, smiling sheepishly 
you wondered if it was a common saying among The Royals
‘how’s Daniel?’ you blurted out, unable to keep your curiosity at bay. A warm blush suffused into your cheeks 
the four members snickered with knowing smirks on their faces 
‘He’ll be pleasantly surprised to see you in person. I’m sick of him staring at polaroids in his wallet all day.’ 
it was safe to say that made your blush redder than a tomato and butterflies erupt in your stomach 
uh those butterflies morphed into blood sucking leeches by the time you found yourself packed away into a limousine and on the way to The Royals London HQ 
why London? did they expand so wide internationally? 
you just had too many questions 
Daniel...Daniel...Daniel...Daniel was the keyword that chanted in your brain 
the HQ was a very low-key building, unlike the lavish apartment complex in Korea 
till smack in the middle of the busiest centre of the city
it seemed like a classic office building, just extremely well-guarded
you figured there weren’t many Royals wandering around London 
‘c’mon, this way,’ Jaehwan whispered, leading the whole gang - now inclusive of Woojin, the pilot - through an entrance, easily passing by security. ‘Daniel isn’t around-‘ 
‘well, well,’ a voice called out 
h i m 
i miss him
i miss that voice so much, but I never thought anxiety would arise when he called out to us 
‘h-hyung...’ 
Daniel’s steely eyes bore into yours, his gaze had changed, his overall appearance had gone through a massive transformation 
though, you swear those liquid brown orbs softened when he recognised who you were 
‘you brought them here? who is responsible for this?’ Daniel growled out through clenched teeth 
before anyone could open their mouth to respond, you voiced out, ‘It was me.’ 
everyone’s eyes were on you, revealing their true shock 
‘I-I contacted Seongwoo after many years of searching...and then I begged him to intercept my Dubai flight to take me here because...because I knew you would be here,’ you fibbed, hoping it was believable at least for a second 
you answered all his unspoken questions. ‘I missed you, Daniel. Is that such a crime?’ 
a huff came from his devilish lips, he gestured for you to follow him as the others retreated
Daniel lead you into a study on the far side of the building, the pristine floor-length glass windows offered a fantastic view of the city below 
his expensive taste was evident from the fabulous art pieces that decorated the walls, the sparkling dark mahogany furniture and a knitted couch 
suddenly, you felt Daniel’s arms snake around your waist, his soft lips came onto yours, deepening the kiss with urgency 
‘I’ve been wanting to do that for forever,’ he muttered against your lips after pulling away to catch his breath 
he continued before you could say a word. ‘I was absolutely furious when I heard about Somi’s mission. All I wanted was to keep you safe, but here I was doing the exact opposite.’ 
huh? not a single NCT member could come to your mind just pondering about it? 
Daniel shot you an unamused yet worried look 
‘did you really think Lucas was a nice guy from church? he’s the biggest sinner I’ve ever encountered.’ The surety in Daniel’s voice was alarming 
‘...which is why you’re here now...and I kissed you...’ 
you want to yell at him, shred his expensive paintings and throw marble statues at him 
but you can’t 
‘you were a real bastard for leaving me four years ago,’ you spit, meaning every single word. ‘Don’t think I’m going to waltz right into your arms again.’ 
not that you want to hurt him, you just want him to realise what he’s done wrong 
okay yeah maybe you do want Daniel to regret leaving you in the dust 
‘I know. I’m sorry I was a such a coward, I was wrong.’ 
the very tips of his ears begin to go red as he takes a step away from you, backing straight into his desk 
only two picture frames sit on the tabletop, one of them of his elite unit and the other frame held a picture of him and you 
if NCT broke in, they would get every single bit of information without trying too hard 
I suppose that’s why there are guards patrolling EVERYWHERE 
Daniel’s shock towards your next words was clearly written all over him 
ah yes he knocked over his laptop 
‘it’s okay, I understand. I would’ve done the same if I was in that position. That doesn’t excuse the fact I’m still hurt and upset over that incident but we grow up and mature, I think we don’t have to be petty about it.’ 
internally, a conflict was stirring but being the mature person you are, you were willing to get Daniel back as a friend 
hopefully, you won’t be s w o o n i n g into his hold after 2 seconds 
Daniel perked up immediately, his eyes glazed over dreamily. ‘Serious?’ 
‘woah lover boy, I’m not going to be kissing your lips again!’ you hurl with a playful - almost flirty - chuckle. ‘I’m saying we can be friends.’ 
we all know what happens from here onwards 
‘reeeeaaallllyyyy?’ Daniel drawls out, flashing an enchanting smile. He sweeps you off your feet, planting you on the desk 
your heart begins to pound as he leans in, lips barely brushing your earlobes
‘you’re so certain about that, aren’t you?’ 
face is pink 
Daniel is too cheesy 
avoiding his alluring moves is hard work but you still try your best 
‘yes, of course, I am.’ 
he pouts sulkily like the young teenager you recall him to be 
‘fine then. want to grab dinner together?’ 
the offer is extremely tempting but you know you’ll fall in DEEP 
‘daniel...I really shouldn’t’ 
‘what? two friends can’t eat dinner together? that’s a tad bit unfair, don’t you think?’ Daniel points out, furrowing his brow. His eyes say he’s won it all 
how bad could this be? 
very 
how long am I going to live for? 
better, how long will Daniel stay with me? 
‘okay then,’ you agree, seemingly nonchalant while your heartbeat speeds up. ‘Pick a place and tell me the dress code. After, we have to talk about this whole NCT thing.’ 
he nods too excitedly, unable to contain his enthusiasm 
anticipation 
the WANT to go on a date with Daniel again arises after years of suppression 
a fresh start 
saving the story from the very end is the best beginning 
perhaps, Daniel was still the guy who held that special place in your heart 
even though he messed up a few years back, nothing could be worse than living unforgiven 
too merciful to leave him in misery 
I won’t live regretting my actions anymore 
I just hope that...Daniel was lying when he said he didn’t love me 
if not I’m calling Somi and we’re getting out of here lol 
I’ve  a l w a y s  loved them, I should never have pushed them away 
‘just wait and see, being in love gets you places.’
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