#u guys don’t understand I literally have to check when the last time I drew petroleum was

[airrika]

don’t normally share stuff like this but can I drop this cursed hc I started drawing last night😭 bc as usual I am analyzing petrona at 3 am and ummm we know how that goes

petra (and all the Fitz bc how is she NOT one of them) have unusually reflective pupils, but not the type of reflective pupil that causes blindness. they just quirky like that🙄💅

BUT it does give them surprisingly good night vision + terrifying flash photos in the dark!! also the intensity of light depends on how pronounced it is, giving the appearance of glowing or flickering more than it actually is

here are some very quick drawings,,i don’t like them lmao but they’re just concepts

also Iggy has it much less pronounced but u can still see it if there’s a flick taken w flash/or a light shine in his direction

thank u for coming to my Ted talk

[rebel-without-cause-x]

Please Wake Up

Jax Teller x Reader

Requested By: @minnicelli​ // hi! how are you? i would like to do a request for Jax with the prompts 5 & 10. Jax and the reader have a solid relationship but Jax is so full of club shit that he’s been distant and cold with her, they fight and she says all that’s bothering her in the situation and he doesn’t care much, until days after that she got into an accident (or kidnapped, something bad happens, it’s your choice) and he realize the shit he was doing. 5 “Wake up! Please wake up.” 10 “Do you even still love me?” thank u!

SOA Tag List; @chibsytelford @talicat713 @corebore123 @nothingeverdies @teapartydreams @mrspeacem1nusone @khyharah @itmejado @woahitslucyylu @beth-winchester21 @minnicelli @everyhowlmarksthedead @trulysuccubus

Another night spent alone curled up in front of the TV. You wanted nothing more than to spend the night curled up in your boyfriends arms but that hadn’t happened for a couple of months.

You knew shit was going off at the club and you weren't going to push things, but you didn’t know how long you could take it. You just felt lonely.

Hearing the front door close and the thud of Jax’s trainers on the hardwood floor, glancing up at the clock you realised that Jax was home before 11pm. Pushing yourself up off the sofa you padded into the kitchen to see Jax stood over the kitchen sink.

“Hey” you said softly leaning against the fridge.

“I’m not in the mood babe” Jax huffed looking out the window.

“You never are any more” you sighed “I know shit is getting tough with the club, I understand that but please stop shutting me out”

“You don’t know half of what’s going on” Jax snapped.

“Because you have been acting so distant baby” you sighed as tears clouded your vision. “I love you with all my heart but I don’t know how much I can take Jax”

He did turn around, just ran his hands through his hairs.

“Do you even still love me?” You whimpered “because right now I feel like I’m second best to everything”

“I can’t believe you just asked me that” Jax laughed.

You couldn’t believe it, his response, you knew it was because he was tired and stressed but it stung.

“Baby I know you are stressed, but it’s affecting me now, I’m constantly worried about you. You aren’t thinking straight because of this shit with the Irish. I don’t know the ins and outs of what’s going on but sooner or later I’m going to lose you, whether it’s from breaking up or even worse you dying” you said as a tear rolled down your cheek.

“I don’t wanna talk about this right now” Jax sighed walking out of the kitchen. You heard his heavy footsteps disappear upstairs followed by the sound of the shower. As much as you hated leaving him alone it was what was best. You both had a temper and the last thing you wanted was to start world war 3.

Yet again you woke up to an empty bed, Jax's side was cold and looked untouched, you knew just by looking he slept on the sofa. Your thoughts were confirmed when you saw the spare duvet and pillow bunched in the corner of the sofa and the house once again empty.

No morning cuddles in bed making you late for work, no morning kisses that left you wanting more, no morning coffee brewing. Just silence.

Like every morning for the past month, you showered, got dressed and headed off to work. However this morning it didn’t quite go that way. You had just finished getting dressed when you heard the sound of a window breaking downstairs.

Your heart was beating so fast you thought it was going to burst out your chest as you scurried round the room trying to find the spare gun Jax kept, in case of emergencies. You could hear him now giving you the big I told you so speech. But he wasn’t here and you were shit scared as you heard the sounds of footsteps coming upstairs alongside the sound of two Irish men.

“Fuck” you mumbled as you finally found the gun and retreating into the wardrobe. Reaching down to your pocket you realised your phone was on the kitchen table.

This was it you were going to die.

“She’s got to be around here somewhere” one of the men said as you heard the tear your room apart. It was then the doors of the wardrobe opened. “Found her”

“Get off me” you screamed fighting with everything you had but it was no use, he was a lot stronger than you.

A fist connected with your face causing you to whimper.

“Oh shut up bitch” the man laughed punching you again.

“Why are you doing this?” You asked as he literally dragged you out the house.

“Your old man took something of ours without paying for it so we are taking something of his” the other guy smirked as you were chucked in the back of a van.

You weren't a religious person but right now you found yourself praying to any and all of the gods.

“Somethings wrong” Jax sighed as he checked his phone.

It didn’t matter if you got in a fight or he was in a mood you would always text him just before you started work at 9, a text that showed you still cared for him even after he was acting cold. But he didn’t get that text this morning.

“Maybe she forgot her phone” juice shrugged and Jax nodded in agreement.

Pushing the thoughts aside they gathered round the table trying to decide what the best way to deal with the Irish was.

It was around 7pm when Jax pulled into the driveway, the hairs on the back of his neck standing. Everything in his body was telling him something was wrong and this was confirmed as he saw the glass on the front door shattered, your phone on the kitchen table and a couple of spots of blood on the cream carpet.

Running as fast as he could upstairs he took in the carnage that had happened just hours before. If only he had listened to his gut feeling first thing this morning.

Dropping to his knees at the foot of the bed, he held his head in his hands. It was in that moment he realised how he had been treating you, acting cold and distant yet you still stayed with him. His mind went back to the previous night when you voiced your concerns and he just shrugged them off, and slept on the sofa.

His heart dropped at the fact you probably thought he didn’t love you, as he didn’t exactly answer the question when you asked last night.

One thing was for sure, when he found you he had made a promise to himself never to treat you like he had over the last month or so.

- - -

The room was dark, cold and damp. You had no idea what time it was or how long you had been here or whether Jax was bothered that you were gone.

Leaning back against the wall your body ached from lying on the concrete floor. All you wanted to do was snuggle in the arms of your boyfriend, but you knew what wasn’t going to happen any soon.

You could hear voices but couldn’t quite make out what they were saying but you definitely heard Jax’s name mentioned a couple of times.

- - -

“This really isn’t helping Jax” Tig said, crouching in front of him as he sat with his back against the bed surrounded by the trashed room.

It had been 6 days since you got taken and every lead they had went cold. Which was why he was leaning against the bed getting high, he hadn’t slept or showered in days.

He didn’t say anything just carried on smoking the blunt, trying to forget, this was all his fault. If he hadn’t rushed out the house that morning he would have been there to protect you. He knew it was the Irish that had taken you but you could be anywhere now.

“Jax you need to see this” Juice came running into with a laptop.

Looking up at the screen he saw you laying on the floor. His heart broke just looking at it and it broke even more when Juice hit play.

“Jackson, as you can see she doesn’t have much left in her” Jimmy's voice laughed. “We warned you after you ambushed us and stole our guns we would get our payback”

“I always wondered how long the human body could go without food or drink and I guess I know the answer now”

Anger surged through Jax’s blood as he kept his eyes trained on you whimpering in the background, weakly calling his name.

“You have 3 days to return what you stole or I’m putting a bullet through her pretty little skull”

The video went black.

“Fucking Irish bastard” Jax roared pushing himself to his feet. Just seeing you still alive gave him a bit of hope.

- - -

“Trust me he won’t be returning the guns” Jimmy laughed crouching in front of you as he dragged his knife over your cheek.

You just felt so weak and numb, you just laid there as he cut you.

“If.. if you’re gonna kill me….just do it” you said weakly between coughs.

“There’s no fun in that now,” he smirked, removing the knife. “Jackson will regret trying to steal from us”

You had just gotten to the point of giving up, your body was so weak, you were so hungry and so thirsty it actually hurt. All you wanted was to tell Jax you love him, close your eyes and give up completely.

Time passed but you had no idea how long you had been stuck in this dingy basement, or if Jax was even trying to find you. The sounds of fun fire drew your attention to the ceiling, someone was here, you just needed to hold on a little bit longer, but you could feel your body slipping into the darkness.

All you could hear was Jax shouting his head off, followed by the sound of footsteps on the metal stairs.

He came to find you. You tried so hard to hold on but your body was too weak as you slipped into the darkness.

Without a second though Jax shot at the hinges of the door before kicking it down.

He didn’t think his heart could break anymore but it did, as soon as he saw you laying on the ground. Running over to you he couldn’t hold the tears back as he brushed some hair out of your face. He took in your appearance and sighed as he saw the cuts littering your soft skin, and the dried blood on your cheek.

One silver lining was he could feel your pulse, granted it was weak but it was still there. He knew he needed to get you medical attention and fast.

“Wake up!” He sobbed as he scooped you into his arms “Princess please wake up.”

[jimimn]

HI ITS ME WHO'S NOT OVER JJK BLONDE SELFIE AND WILL NEVER BE -💫

HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <33333333

HONESTLY ITS THE WAY YOH SAY SUCH NICE THINGS AND I DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS ON END BECAUSE INCONSISTENCY BLEEDS INTO EVERY CORNER OF MY LIFE FNEKALKD BUT I'M GETTING DONE WITH MY FIRST LEG OF EXAMS ON MONDAY SO YAY TO THAT!! OKAY I THINK WE'LL MOVE SLOWLY WITH BABY STEPS JUNGKOOK DROPPED SOME SELCAS JIMIN DROPPED SOME SELCAS IN THE WORDS OF THE LEGENDARY JEON JUNGKOOK ALL WE NEED NOW IS "together..BAM!" (THAT'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS EVER THE WAY HE SAYS IT 🤧)

YES IN THIS HOUSE WE SCREAM OVER JIMIN'S DISRESPECT HE IS THE PARAGON OF A MULTI-FACETED MAN THAT HAS US WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER. THE AUDACITY 😤

CHANEL X JIMIN LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN AND OMG THAT SELFIE THAT DROPPED?? SIR???? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?? I MEAN YES BH SAID LET'S DROP SELFIES IN BULK BUT THAT ONE PICTURE OF HIM IN BLACK(GREY? I DONT KNOW FHSKKAJF) WITH THE SHIRTS UNBUTTONED!!! THEM COLLARBONES ARE FREE AND THEY'RE THRIVING IN THE OPEN IN THAT ONE. ALSO HIS LIPS ARE SO PRETTY. OH GOD LITERALLY HE HAS THAT COCKY SMIRK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE KNOWS HE DOES HOT BOY SHIT LIKE SHUT UP OK YOU CANT DO THAT JAIL FOR U NDNSLSKAJJW

SUCH A FUCKING TEASE THATS RIGHT!! EVEN STRAIGHT MEN?? BRO LIKE HOW DO YOU HAVE ALL GENDERS JUST TRIPPING OVER THEMSELVES FOR YOU IT'S INSANE AND OMG MISS SHIVI HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ONE CLIP IN WHICH JIMIN HOLDS HIS GAZE WITH THESE MEN WHO LOOK AT HIM (i think it was bon voyage?) and when they cross each other he JUST SMIRKS AND RUNS HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR LIKE YEAH OK ALEXA PLAY I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT. AND YES I'LL LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY ANYTIME 💗💗

12PM KST IS THE HOLY HOUR I TELL YOU ALTHOUGH I REMEMBER WAITING THE NIGHT BEFORE BE CAME OUT WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO COME AND BH WAS JUST LIKE "yea...no" OMG THAT'S AWESOME YOUR COUSIN'S VISITING YOU

HHFJDOSO YEAH IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY DID THE JUMP ALTHOUGHHHH I'M POSITIVE THEY'LL DO SMTH COOL LIKE THAT IN THEIR CONCERTS BECAUSE THEIR PERFORMANCE QUALITY IS JUST.. THROUGH THE ROOF IT'S CRAZY!! WHEN THE PERFORM WINGS?? LIKE HOLY SHIT NO CHOREO NO POSITIONS JUST BTS RUNNING AROUND THE STAGE MAKING THE CROWD GO FERAL I LOVE EVERY WINGS PERFORMANCE SO MUCH MY SEROTONIN LEVELS ARE ALWAYS AT A HIGH THEN. OOHH MY GODDD BS&T IS REALLY THAT BITCH!!!! WHO'S DOING IT LIKE HER TODAY NO ONE IS EXACTLY. AND NOOOO I TOTALLY GET IT WE THINK ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH THAT ACCIDENT HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON ME. IF ONLY YOU'D TOLD ME THEN IN 2016 THAT THAT ACCIDENT WAS THE START OF SO MANY I'D BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWED (see: him basically stripping himself that one serendipity performance. holy shit.)

FOR REAL THO CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND DO YOU REMEMBER JIMIN SAYINF uUH iM nOt wORkInG oN a SoLo SoNg aT ThE mOmEnT heHe LIKE ALL MEN DO IS LIE OK AT THIS POINT. BYE. YES TAEHYUNG DID WARN US BUT ARMYS (LIKE MYSELF) PUT THEIR CLOWN WIGS ON AND THOUGHT IT WAS KTH1 LMAO. OMG I HOPE YOU DON'T SLEEP THROUGH ANY OF THEIR UPCOMING SONG RELEASES BUT I'M SURE IT'S THE BEST FEELING TO WAKE UP TO CHECK YOUR NOTIFS AND SEE "Big Hit Labels" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FIREEE. DUDE SERIOUSLY I NEED JIMIN TO GO LIVE AGAIN (although we've been well fed by namjoon for now🤧😌💗) LIKE THAT ONE YT LIVE WHERE HE SAID "O...M...G" SHUT UP STOP BEING SO CUTE I'M DHJSWLIFJWKALS

LMAO OKAY YEAH THAT'S VALID YOUR BLOG THEME IS BASICALLY ✨jimin✨ AND I LOVE THAT IT REALLY GRAVITATED ME AND YOUR URL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD YOUR BRAINNN 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

YES YES YES JIMIN IS SO PERFECT AND THE SOCK DOODLESSS 😭😭😭 oooo so when did you get into giffing? how did you start? BROOOOO YOUR URL'S ORIGIN STORY. I LOVE IT WOW YES IT'S DEFINITELY GOT THE REQUIRED ✨pazzaz✨

NOOO OMG THIS URL IS YOUR BRAND LIKE YOU'RE A LEGEND ON ARMYBLR I LOVE IT SO MUCH. BUT STILL!! IT'S YOUR CHOICE AT THE END 💖

OMG QUARANTINE DID IT'S ONE GOOD JOB AND GOT YOU INTO BANGTAN YAY. OMG YOU AND MISS LIFEGOESMON ARE FRIENDSS??? LEGENDS INTERACTING THIS IS SO COOL. LMAO THE PARADIGM SHIFT YOU MUST'VE FELT FROM LISTENING TO STAY GOLD (WHICH BTW THE MV...THE LITERAL CUTEST OH GOD THE LITTLE DOG AND JIMIN'S LITTLE SMILES DHSJAOWO) TO THEN GOING TO BST IN WHICH JIMIN IS BASICALLY STRIPPING AND JUNGKOOK IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO. YES BS&T HAS EVERYONE HOOKED THE POWERRRR. YOU FALLING DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH YOUR FRIEND'S ASSISTANCE OH GOD THIS IS SO CUTE 💓 EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺

AAAAH OKAY MY STORY ISN'T AS INTERESTING AS YOURS IS BUT IN 2016 BASICALLY ALL I KNEW OF KPOP WAS GANGNAM STYLE AND WASNT WILLING TO CUANGE THAT PERCEPTION (FOOL BEHAVIOUR I TELL YOU) AND WAS TOO BUSY OBSESSING OVER ONE DIRECTION'S REUNION AND SO ONE NIGHT (THE NIGHT BEFORE JIMIN'S BIRTHDAY 🤧🤧) I JUST STUMBLED UPON THEIR BS&T TEARS MV AND I HEARD IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG!! THIS IS THAT SUPER ADDICTIVE SONG THAT I'D HEARD SOMEWHERE AND IT JUST SPIRALLED FROM THERE I REMEMBER SEEING JIMIN AND BEING LIKE 👀👀👀👀 WHO IS HE I LIKE HIM AND JUST HIS AURA DREW ME IN SOOO MUCH AND WHEN I WAS GETTING INTO THEM I REMEMBER WRITING THEIR NAMES IN MY NOTES TO SEE IF I COULD REMEMBER 🤧 AND I STILL HAVE THAT NOTE FROM 4+ YEARS AGO 💓 AND YEAH BASICALLY SEEING THEM DO ALL THE MUSIC SHOWS AND STUFF AT THE TIME WAS SO COOOL AND MIND YOU BH DIDN'T HAVE SUBS FOR BANGTAN BOMBS THEN SO WENT ON THESE SKETCHY DAILYMOTION TYPE SITES LOOKING FOR ALL THE CONTENT I COULD CHURN OUT LMAO

AND YES!! COURTESY OF YOU I DID WATCH SOME RUN EPS!! I WATCHED THEIR CANADA ONES SPEAKING OF WHICH I LOOOVE THAT PART WHERE THEY'RE DOING THAT SONG GUESSING THING IN THE MORNING AND JIMIN SAYS "are you cold?" 🥺🥺 TO TAE AND HUGS HIM URRHRHEHSJSJSH AND I ALSO SAW THE ONES WITH THE PUPPIES GODDDDD I LOVE THE PUPPIES ONE SO MUCH LITERALLY JUNGKOOK AND HIS DOG (MIRI?) OH MY GOD THAT LIL FLUFFER AND ADAM IS MY ICON WITH HOW HE JUST DID HIS OWN THING LMAO.

BUT ANYWAY!! DO YOU HAVE A FAVE ERA?? LIKE DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THEM AND GO "Damn I wish I was a fan then" BECAUSE HONESTLY I WISH I HAD STANNED THEM IN THEIR DOPE ERA BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED JIMIN THEN DHKSOWID-💫

FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME!!!!!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!!! AND YAYYYYY CONGRATS I HOPE THE FIRST LEG OF EXAMS WENT WELL <333333 AND OH MY GOD you’re gonna make me cry with the together baam goddddddd same one of my fave moments and jimin’s giggles after that 😭😭😭😭 my babies <3 :((((

that..... black suit selca....... that opened button...... like open one more dear sir who’s stopping you... just do it <33333 YEAH he totally needs to shut up with his i know im hot side it just kills me every single time 😭😭😭😭😭

LISTEN THAT BV3 MOMENT  S H O O K  ME OKAY????? THOSE GUYS LOOKED AT HIM AND HE WAS SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT IT (AND HE SHOULD BE) AND THE WAY HE LICKED HIS LIPS AND RAN HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR????? LIKE HE KNOWS HE HAS EVERY SINGLE PERSON; NO MATTER WHAT GENDER; WRAPPED AROUND HIS LIL PINKY LIKE THAT???????

OH MY GOD ME TOO I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE THE WINGS STAGE AND WATCHING THEM HAVE SO MUCH FUN IS JUST SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I ALSO ABSOLUTELY LOVVVEEE THEIR ENERGY DURING THE SY TOUR MEDLEY WITH IDOL AND BAEPSAE AND FIRE AND DOPE ZSXDFGFCHGVJBHJN THEY JUST LOSE THEMSELVES IN THE CROWD AND THE MUSIC AND ITS JUST SO FUCKING SURREAL TO WATCH HOW MUCH THEY ENJOY DOING WHAT THEY DO!!!!! kinda makes me want to find that happiness and passion in whatever i do in my professional life <3 and LISTEN jimin said the break the soul commentary THAT HE COULD DO SERENDIPITY SHIRTLESS TOO. THE AUDACITY. HE SAID THAT WITH HIS WHOLE CHEST. 

YOU KNWO WHAT I THINK JIMIN WON’T GIVE US A HINT BEFORE DROPPING PJM1. HE’LL JUST DROP IT ONE FINE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE HE DROPPED PROMISE AND CHRISTMAS LOVE (i wasn’t here when he dropped promise but i read that on twitter sdfghjkl) AND NO PLS NO I DO N O T WANT TO SLEEP THROUGH JJK1 OR KTH1 OR PJM1 OR KSJ1 OR NAMGI MIXTAPE 3 OR HOBI MIXTAPE 2 OR ANYTHING BASICALLY YOU GET IT i had slept through dynamite cb because i had NO CLUE that they were gonna drop it at 1pm kst rather than 12 am kst. i was under the impression that since they dropped all the teaser pictures and the teaser itself as 12 am kst, the mv will drop at 12 am kst too. and I woke up like two hours after the mv dropped (which was almost noon my time) and i felt like A FUCKING FOOL AND I JUST 😭😭😭😭 NEVER WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN 😭😭😭 

AND YES BABIE NEEDS TO COME LIVE SOON PLS I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH :((((( AND HIS O...M.....G HAD MADE ME FUCKING SOBBBBBBBBBBB his yt live god he looked sooooooo fluffy with his hair and his tiny hands and his puppy eyes and soft voice im just so 😭😭😭😭😭😭

NO NONNONONONO PLEASE IM NO LEGEND DON’T SAY THAT IM EMBARRASSED im just a normal fangirl who makes okayish gifs 😭😭 and ok yes so i started giffing LONNNGGGGGG time back on a different public fan forum from my country but i never knew the right process and stuff so obviously the gifs were shitty lmao BUT ANYWAY i got into gifmaking PROPERLY this in july last year and obviously struggled a lot in the beginning because i didn’t know shit about colouring and stuff lmao but i kept practicing and even though im not perfect rn i do think that i got better. i love giffing tho. its such a nice creative outlet and whenever i gif the boys it brings me so much happiness :( <33

AND YES ASDFGHJKL ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS SINCE A VERY LONG TIME SDFGHJK LIKE LONG BEFORE BOTH OF US GOT INTO BTS SDFGHJ and ah yes the whiplash lmaooooooo and you’re right god the stay gold mv is SO FUCKING PRETTY THE COLOURS IN THAT ENTIRE MV HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND JIMIN AND TAE AND JOON WITH THE DOGGO JUST EVERYTHING SDFGHJK <3333333 AND BS&T DUDE I GIFFED THE MV YESTERDAY AND IM 💀💀💀💀💀 (like i just giffed jimin from the mv but i did watch the whole thing 5647589 times <333333) AND GUESS WHAT!!!!!! I WAS A LILLY SINGH FAN (IDK IF YOU KNOW HER SHE’S A YOUTUBER) BACK IN 2016 AND PEOPLE BACK THEN HAD REQUESTED HER TO REACT TO BS&T MV AND I HAD WATCHED HER REACTION VIDEO AND (although it didn’t stick with me back then because i was a fucking fool) I DID SOMEHOW REMEMBERED THE JIN AND STATUE KISSING MOMENT AND WHEN IN 2020 I SAW THE MV AND SAW THE KISSING MOMENT MY BRAIN JUST!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE SOMEWHERE AND THEN I REMEMBERED I HAD SEEN THIS IN THE REACTION VIDEO LMAOOOOO i wish i hadn’t been a fool and gotten into them back then :((((

AH NO OMG YOUR STORY IS SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEE ATLEAST YOU WEREN’T A FOOL LIKE ME TO NOT GET ATTRACTED TO BS&T THE FIRST TIME OF SEEING IT!!!! I WANNA HIT MY 2016 SELF LIKE DAMN YOU YOU FOOLISH ASSHOLE AND yes omg how did y’all do the subs thing damnnnnn i can’t imagine

AND YES THE CANADA RUN EPIS ARE LOOOVVVEEEE and that vmin moment plsssssss i cry everytime 😭😭😭😭😭 it is just so soft and innocent and tae’s little smile after jimin just turns around and hugs him 😔😔😔😔 i love soulmates 😔😔😔😔 AND MIRI YES OMG EVERYONE WAS SO IMPRESSED BY THE LITTLE CUTIE AND THE WAY JUNGKOOK JUST KEPT ADORING HER THROUGHOUT MADE ME SO SO SOFTTTT and bro adam is me. i am like that. lazy and un-motivated AF. although if i were a dog and jin were to be my owner i would listen to him so well and jump on him every chance i’d get 😌😌😌

GOD YES RED HAIR DOPE ERA JIMIN 💀 BABIE BUT MAKE IT SEXY 🥵🥵 AND OMG YESDGFHG MY FAVE ERA IS HYYH. ORANGE HAIRED JIMIN. PLS. HE’S EVERYTHING. I WISH I HAD GOTTEN INTO THEM DURING THAT. LIKE THAT ERA IS ..... SOMEHOW SO FUCKING WILD AND STILL SO ASSURING AND CALMING ????? KEEPS ME ROOTED LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN DFGHJKL AND WINGS TOO DAMN I WISH I WAS HERE TO LIVE ALL THOSE AMAZING ERAS. but even though i wish i had gotten into them earlier... i think i found them when i needed them the most. I was going through a very difficult time last year and they somehow they made me feel so fucking safe and at home that the connection was instant. honestly i’ve never stanned or felt a connection with any celebrity as strong as the one i feel with bangtan. its like... they don’t know i exist but they still know EXACTLY what im feeling and what to say or do at that time to make me feel comforted. Its weird god but its true :((( SORRY I GOT EMO I JUST LOVE THEM A LOT SDFGHJKL

[13-reasons-ideas]

You’re such a talented writer I can’t even😍 I’ve never read a Monty story with so much depth before👌🏼. Can u pls pls do a “your first time” with Monty❤️❤️❤️

I am SO SORRY this took like FOREVER. It is very long though. Word count 6731. 

A/N: This story is SMUT. 18+ ONLY. If you are under 18, please do not read. The reader is nervous in this story but she does want to have sex with him. The conversation between Montgomery and the reader is merely him attempting to calm her nerves. He is in no way trying to pressure her into anything. Use protection and please make sure you use the washroom after sex in order to prevent a UTI. As always, feedback is appreciated.

The First Time

My parents were going to be out of town for a week for their anniversary. I hadn’t told my boyfriend yet but that would change at lunch. Before I left for school, I made sure I had everything I needed. A brand-new, unopened box of condoms-bought with Tony’s help-were in my bedside drawer. Check. The lubricant-also recommended by Tony- was also stashed in the drawer, in case it would be needed.Check. I had made sure to exfoliate my legs before and after I shaved my legs and I put on my new matching underwear set. I wanted everything to be perfect tonight. Now, do not think I am naïve, I know that the first time is not a magical experience with unicorns or rainbows, but I still have some ideals about what I would like to happen. I danced around my room as I got dressed and sprayed my favourite perfume, (Your favourite perfume), on my pressure points and behind my ear. I slipped on a pair of flats and grabbed my coat and bag before bouncing out the door to drive to school.

I arrived at school with enough time to say a quick hello to my friends and get a quick kiss from my boyfriend, Montgomery, before having to run to class. I felt his eyes on my back as I caught up with Justin and Tony for Math. We made idle chit chat as we took our seats. “You tell him yet?” Tony asked, noticing my leg shaking a bit.

“No, I didn’t have time before class and I didn’t want to text him. I’m telling him around lunch. Whenever his friends aren’t around.” I explained, trying to keep my voice down so people wouldn’t make assumptions. That’s all I need. Someone starting a rumor that I’m pregnant or something. He nodded and I felt Justin tap my shoulder and I turned to face him.

“If you want, I can sit with you today and get the guys away from you for a while. I’m guessing what you want to tell him has to do with your parents being out of town?” Justin offered, raising his brow slyly. I blushed a bit and nodded at him.

“That would be great. I’ll meet you at my locker after Biology?”

“Sure. Now, what did you get for number 45 on the homework?” I laughed, shaking my head as I gave him my answer.

After a very long two classes, it was time for lunch. Justin met me at my locker as I was grabbing my History textbook. I felt someone’s eyes on me as we talked and when I turned, I spotted Monty watching us, smiling. He had long since come around to the Jensen boys being a part of my life. Justin looked up and followed my line of sight before beckoning the tall, temperamental boy over. Monty placed his arm around me and pulled me close. I said he had come around, not that he wasn’t still protective. I leaned into him as we began the trek to the cafeteria, Justin and I continuing our conversation the whole way. Monty gave input where he could, but most of the time I felt at least one of his eyes on me the entire walk.

One nice thing about dating a jock was that they’re basically Gods at liberty. People made way for us in the hall, no matter the time of day. The walk would usually take up to ten minutes from my locker to the other side of campus where the cafeteria was, but with Monty and Justin it took merely five minutes. “Make room boys. We have a visitor today.” I called as we approached. The group of athletes looked up, saw Justin with us, and began making room for him. Justin knew where my usual spot is and so of course, that is where he decided to sit. That choice left me with no other choice but to sit in Monty’s lap. He had no objections of course. There were a few comments from his friends but nothing too risqué. If there was anything deemed to be in too poor of taste, Scott or Zach put a stop to it at this point. I made myself comfortable in Monty’s lap and Bryce made a stupid comment about my wiggling that made me blush and bury my face in Monty’s neck. I felt a muscle in his neck twitch but because it was Bryce, no one said anything. Justin touched my back and I could tell he was giving Bryce the stink eye. He was the only one who hadn’t let the fact that I was still a virgin go. Sure, boys made jokes but Bryce was the only one who was an ass about it anymore.

“Leave her alone man. She’s probably getting more action than you are these days.” Zach told Bryce shortly. He understood what it was like, having dealt with the same thing from the group before he and Hannah shared that summer together. I smirked into Monty’s neck and tried to stifle my laugh. The table around me erupted into laughter.

“Yeah, yeah. Can it Zachy. I get plenty.” Bryce tried to defend himself, though I don’t think anyone believed him. My face was still buried in Monty’s neck so I took the opportunity to whisper in his ear.

“Hey babe, can I talk to you alone for a bit?” I asked quietly. I untangled one of my arms from his neck and tapped Justin’s knee. I peeked out and looked at him and Raised my brow slyly. He took the hint that now was the time. He checked his watch and jumped up.

“We have like… half an hour left of lunch left. I’m going to work out and you’re coming with me.” Justin announced to the table, leaving no room for argument. The team groaned but I heard them slowly begin to get up. I made sure to make it look like I was sleeping so Monty couldn’t get up.

“How come Monty doesn’t have to get up and come with us?” Bryce complained, trying to fish for an explanation that was none of his business.

“You want to try waking her up?” Monty asked, mild disdain in his voice. Bryce took a breath as though he was going to answer, before Justin cut him off.

“Last time I tried to wake her up for dinner at my place, she told me to shove it somewhere it wouldn’t and shouldn’t go.” Bryce must have accepted that answer because he didn’t elaborate and I heard them goofing off as the group walked away.

“Are they gone?” I asked, my voice muffled against Monty’s neck.

“Yeah, they are. Is everything okay (Y/N/N)?” He asked, concern evident in his voice. I moved so I was able to look at him before answering.

“Everything is good.” I hesitated a moment before continuing, unsure of how to proceed. “My um, my parents’ anniversary is this weekend. It’s their 25th anniversary.” I stopped again.

“Uh huh. Congratulations to them. That’s great. But why did you want to talk to me alone to tell me that?” he asked, confused.

“Well… They’re out of town for a week to celebrate. So I’m home alone. And I was wondering if you maybe wanted to… come over tonight? And stay over?” I prompted, not seeing how he wasn’t getting the hint. He simply quirked his brow at me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Monty. My parents are out of town. So I have the entire house to myself. All alone. Are you starting to see what I’m saying?” I asked him, trying to figure out if I would have to literally spell it out for him. I raised my brows a bit, suggestively and he seemed to catch on to what I was implying.

“Oh okay.” He began, and a look of understanding finally crossed his face. “Oh. OH. You mean…. Are you sure? You want to?” He asked. I nodded, grinning.

“Yes babe. I’m sure.” I assured him.

“Well alright then. I’ll meet you at your locker after school?” I nodded again and kissed his nose softly before climbing out of his lap and gathering my things. He smiled at me like he was a little kid. When the bell rang he walked me to history, both of us grinning widely and anticipating the evening ahead.

*******

I could feel my nerves grow as the evening progressed. Monty and I were in my living room watching-okay, half watching-a movie we had both seen before. Do something (Y/N). You have thought about this. You want this. Relax. I decided I needed to make a move. I looked at my boyfriend from the corner of my eye as he drew unconscious patterns on my arm. Smirking, I sat up and straddled his lap, catching him off guard. He looked up at me, surprised and laughed.

“Not often I get to look up at you shortcake.” I giggled and stuck my tongue out cutely. He smiled back and before I could second guess my actions, I leaned down to kiss him deeply. He kissed me back just as deeply and put his arms around my waist to pull me closer. The angle gave me a different vantage point and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. As our kiss became more intense and more heated, my body’s natural instincts began to take over. I felt my hips begin to rock against his lap and judging by how he bit my lip to hold in a groan, he was enjoying my actions just as much as I was. We continued kissing for a short time until I couldn’t hold my need for more off any longer.

“Monty?” I asked as I pulled away, breathless. He panted a few times before answering.

“Yes (Y/N/N)?”

“Can… can we take this upstairs please?” He nodded quickly, kissed my forehead, and pushed a section of hair behind my ear gently.

“Of course.” Trying to be graceful, I clambered out of his lap and held my hand out to help him stand. He shook his head playfully as he took my small hand and we made our way upstairs. I felt like a little kid who got away with stealing a cookie from the jar. Reality began hitting me again when we got to my room and closed the door firmly behind us.

Montgomery could tell I was nervous. I was shaking like a leaf. Why am I so nervous? Everything will be fine. “(Y/N), you know we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to? We can wait.” Monty’s quiet voice said as he softly rubbed my upper arm.  I looked up at him and smiled after a beat.

“I want to Montgomery. I want this. I’m just….” I started softly. I couldn’t find the words to explain how I was feeling.

“Nervous. I get it. I’ll get you through it. Everything will be okay.” He told me, placing a gentle kiss on the top of my head. I took a deep breath and before I could continue, he spoke again. “I love you (Y/N). You know that right?” I looked into his eyes and saw complete sincerity. He had never said that before. Not that he didn’t show me how much he loved me with his actions, but he had never said those three words before. I grinned up at him, my eyes probably shining as bright as a kid on Christmas morning.

“I know. I love you too Montgomery.” Reaching up, I placed my hand on the back of his neck and pulled his face down towards mine. When our lips connected I saw the same fireworks as I felt the first time we kissed. He smiled against my lips when I brought my other arm up to connect my fingers around his neck. His strong arms found their place wrapped around my waist and he pulled me closer to him.

As I grew more comfortable with the situation, I grew bolder. I deepened the kiss and tugged slightly on his hair. He smirked into the kiss and groaned softly. He slipped his calloused hand under the back of my shirt before pulling away to look at me. I sighed at the loss of contact. “This still okay?” He asked. I nodded in response. “I need a yes or no here babe.” He told me, his voice taking on a huskier tone.

“Yes. This is okay.” I nodded quickly. He groaned at my eagerness before kissing me passionately again. My hands made their way from his neck to his chest and I ran my hands up and down his chest. My instincts had begun to take over by now. Monty’s hands moved further up my back, my shirt trailing after his expert fingers. He only broke our kiss for a moment to remove my shirt before his mouth was back on mine again. I thrust my hands to his shoulders and pushed his flannel down slightly. I tugged harder when it got stuck against the fabric of his t-shirt. Once it was down his arms, I threw it into a corner where it landed with a thud. His shirt was next to go, again only with a brief disruption to our kiss. When I threw his shirt, it hit something, and we heard a crash. We pulled away from the kiss and evaporated into a fit of giggles. That was all it took for my nerves to melt away for the time being. Once we had taken a breather, we were back to kissing each other, none of the passion lost. His hands explored my torso and I moaned softly into his mouth when his rough fingertips brushed against my hipbone. My eyes fluttered closed again as he began to kiss his way down my neck, trying to find the sweet spot to make me utter that sound again. I cried out when he lightly nipped at a spot under my ear. He groaned quietly and began to gently suck the spot. I ran my fingers through his hair a bit before I felt his hands travel lower and cup my butt carefully. He gave it a quick squeeze and lifted me up to wrap my legs around his waist.

Monty nipped at my neck again and I made what he would later describe as the most delicious yet innocent sound he had ever heard. As he kissed lower down my neck to my chest, he shifted to hold me up by one arm and use his other hand to trail up my back to unclasp my bra. I let go of him for a quick second to remove it completely and when I leaned back slightly, he made the most carnal growl I had ever heard. He hoisted me up slightly higher and began his attack on my chest. His lips went everywhere except where I most desperately wanted them to go. He was trying to turn me on as much as possible, though at this point I could tell he didn’t need to. I moaned louder and he bit down harder, causing me to cry out loudly and pull on his hair again. He sucked in a sharp breath and gently licked the spot before walking towards my bed. He leaned down so my back was on the bed and disentangled my limbs from his body.

“You are so beautiful.” He mumbled huskily. I blushed deep red. He pushed me up the bed and climbed over me, laying on his side. I whimpered as he began touching me again. First, trailing his hands down my neck to my ribcage. Then from my ribcage, rubbing up and down to my hipbones again. He drew lazy circles on my hipbones and I in turn, reached out and ran my nails lightly against his broad chest, eliciting more quiet groans. Allowing my instincts to take full control, I quickly rolled over and straddled him. He laughed at my boldness, taken aback slightly. I smirked at him before kissing him on the nose softly. Before long, I had made my way down his jaw and found his sweet spot, slightly below his strong jawline. I mirrored his previous actions and lightly nipped and then began to suck on it. He tried to muffle a groan and wove his fingers in my hair but did not tug at all. I sighed slightly and made my way farther down his neck and lightly scratched his chest, nipping spots when he made a sound. Arriving at his hip, I began to suck and nibble, leaving a mark that he would have trouble explaining away in the locker room. I looked up and grinned proudly when he moaned out loud. I adjusted my hips and felt very clearly how much of an effect I had on him. If the feeling of his erection wasn’t enough of an indication, his sharp intake of breath was.

Having had enough of not being in control, Montgomery placed his hands back on my hips and used his honed upper body strength to roll us over so he was back on top of me. In the motion, a section of my hair had fallen in my face. I didn’t want to let go of him so I started trying to blow the hair away from my face. We both laughed as my attempts were proven to fail time and time again. Even with my partially obstructed view, I could tell he looked so carefree and happy. I want this moment to last forever. Monty moved to rest his arms by my head to shift his weight off of me and deftly pushed the strands away from my eyes. After my hair issue was fixed, he kissed me gently again. We stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, just enjoying one another’s presence. My body decided a moment was too long when my hips began to try and rut against his. He smirked. “Someone eager for something?”

“Maybe.” I replied, coyly. He quirked his brow and kissed my neck again.

“Sure. We can go with maybe.” He mumbled against my neck. Once again, he began to kiss down my neck and chest. Finally, only after much build up and whimpering, did he give my nipples any attention. He gently took one into his mouth and I sucked in a breath. The sensation was nothing I had felt before. It was sharp but soft and wet but warm. Giving me time to adjust to the sensation, he waited a moment before sucking harder and alternating between flicking with his tongue. As I began to relax more and my moans grew louder, he brought one hand down to rub my other nipple. I bit my lip to hold in a cry when he pinched and rolled it. I bucked my hips in response to his action as the sensations went straight to my sensitive nub. I cried out loudly when he bit my nipple gently. I tried to ask for more but all that would come out was unintelligible noises. This is turning my brain to mush. He switched nipples and repeated his actions on the other side. I ran my fingers through his hair, tugging on the soft parts at the base of his neck. After he mirrored his ministrations on the other side, he moved back down my chest to my jeans. My back arched as he ran his fingers along my waistband, and he played with the button. “You still want this (Y/N/N)?” He asked, checking in. I couldn’t make my brain and my mouth connect, so I simply hummed and gave him a thumbs up as I nodded. Thankfully, Monty took that as enough of an agreement, and he undid the button and lowered my zipper. I whimpered at his slow pace. He chuckled once again at my impatience and wiggled my pants down my hips. I lifted my hips up to help him and he pulled them off the rest of the way down my legs. They got stuck on my feet and I kicked and flailed to get them off as we once again broke into a fit of giggles. With more force than I expected, I kicked them across the room where they landed with a thud on the hardwood. When Montgomery stopped and sucked in a breath at my body, clad only in lace underwear, I immediately went to cover myself thinking the worst. He leaned over and grabbed my arm to stop me.

“No don’t. I’m just in awe.” He muttered, placing a kiss to the center of my chest. I smiled shyly and placed my arm back down. My nerves were starting to come back the closer we got to the act. As though he could read my racing mind, Monty leaned over and stroked my face softly to soothe me. I relaxed a bit and nuzzled my face against his palm instinctively. Monty smiled again and kissed my neck gently as he returned to his position, sitting between my legs. I took a deep breath as he ran his hand up my leg, stopping at my knee, and switching to the other leg before moving further up to my thigh. I tried not to giggle as he brushed a spot on my inner thigh. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he arrived at the waistband of my underwear. I whimpered as he played with it in an attempt to make him move faster. Why is he taking so long? I want it now. When that didn’t work-it seemed to make him go even slower if that was possible- I began to buck my hips. In response Montgomery simply placed his hand on my hip and gave me a pointed look to keep me still. I whimpered and pouted again but he continued his teasing. He was really trying to make this about me, and the foreplay was not going to stop evidently. In an attempt to get my mind off of hoe badly I wanted more, I let my eyes wander up and down his body. Sports have done this man well… wait a second.

“You’re still wearing pants.” I hadn’t realized I spoke aloud until I heard a very unsexy snort from my usually at least a little suave boyfriend.

“Yes. At least I know I don’t need to take you to the eye doctor yet.” He joked back. I smirked at him in return and tried to reach for his belt. The years of sports not only did amazing things for his physique, but also his reflexes. The hand playing with my underwear suddenly moved to grab my wrist. “Ah ah ah. You’ll get to have your fun soon enough (Y/N/N).” I groaned but listened as he began to slowly lower my underwear. I lifted my hips slightly to assist him and he stopped his actions. “Still.” He told me, his voice growing gravellier by the minute. He put my underwear back where they were but before I could protest, he began to rub my most intimate spots over the fabric. I moaned loudly and began to claw at the sheets. I looked down just in time to see him kiss the spot where my waistband rested as he continued to draw lazy yet controlled circles around my clit. He let go of my hip as my body once again took control and my hips began to rock slowly.

“Babe, please? More.” I pleaded quietly.

“Ask and you shall receive.” Montgomery mumbled. Closing my eyes, I felt him pull down my underwear and slowly drag the flimsy fabric down my legs. He pulled them off my legs and once again, kissed and nipped his way back up my legs. When he arrived at the apex of my thighs, he tested the waters and languidly blew on my sensitive vulva to gauge my reaction. When I jumped and gasped he made a guttural sound of approval. Monty tentatively so as not to surprise or overwhelm me, readjusted and lightly ran his finger up and down my folds. Again, my hips bucked slightly and I moaned. My nerves had seemed to melt away at this point and I had begun to squirm more the more he touched me. when his fingers brushed my clit, I let out a short scream at the sensation. I could hear the smirk on his face as he did it again and my hips bucked yet again.

Once Monty had determined that my body was physically ready for penetration, he looked up at me, his eyes questioning. I nodded and took a deep breath. I knew there would be some discomfort even with how much foreplay there was. “This is going to be uncomfortable, but it should get better soon.” He explained, carefully. I groaned and nodded again, willing him to continue and get it over with so to speak. He gathered some of my wetness on his fingers again and I felt him tease my entrance.

“Montgomery please. I need it. Please just do it.” I begged, trying to urge him to continue so I could get passed the uncomfortable part.

“Alright sweetheart. Take a deep breath and relax okay?” I did as he instructed and I felt a single finger enter me. The first little bit didn’t hurt but then the discomfort began to come into play. I moaned in discomfort and shifted, unsure if I was trying to coax his finger deeper or trying to get away from the sensation. “Shh baby. It’ll be over soon. Just a little more.” Once his finger had slid all the way in, he gave me a moment or two to adjust before he began to slowly and gently thrust. The discomfort began to dissipate, and I started to relax again.

“More please. This is nice.” I asked, breathily. Monty grunted and shifted his body up so he could kiss me deeply. I kissed him back and wrapped my arms around his neck. As he began to speed his thrusts, my moans grew louder and I tugged on the hair at the nape of his neck. He growled at my actions and pulled away to nip my neck. My back began to arch and my praises of his actions began to become more and more unintelligible. He must have taken this as a cue that I was ready for more as I felt more stretching, with less discomfort, as he added another finger. The feeling was exquisite. I could only imagine what it would feel like when his cock was stretching me. Unwrapping my arms from his neck, I squirmed a bit to adjust and clutched his shoulders. He continued his exploration and when his fingers brushed that wonderful spot on my front wall, I dug my nails into his shoulders and dragged them down his back. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He looked as though a lightbulb had gone off in his head as he smirked that infuriatingly sexy smirk and brushed the spot again. Again, my back arched and I began to feel a tightening in my abdomen. My eyes began to widen and then close repeatedly. I knew what was coming. He knew what was coming. As he continued to massage that spot, the knot began to get tighter and tighter. It felt as though I was going to combust. His thumb began to make small, deliberate, quick circles around my clit and the knot came undone. Though we both knew what was coming, neither of us were expecting the feral growl that was ripped from my throat. I froze and looked at Monty, my eyes wide. Monty stared back at me as though he was seeing me for the first time all over again. A proud smile that he tried to hide as a smirk broke out on his face. After all this time he still tries to hide behind his trademark smirk. My strange loveable man.

“I didn’t think such a small person could make that kind of sound. That was kind of hot.” He commented with a raised brow. I smirked back at him and my eyes trailed down his toned chest and torso to his jeans. My eyes darted up and down from his face to his jeans several times in a silent question. I bit my lip suggestively and felt a blush begin to creep up my neck. Monty nodded at my unspoken question and rolled off of me. I smiled and rolled over to straddle him again, my nudity not even a thought anymore.

“Your turn.” I told him suggestively. I kissed his nose playfully and began to move down his neck and chest. I nipped at certain spots on my way down when he moaned and grunted in approval at my actions. When I got to his waistband, I stopped and looked up at him. My eyelids felt heavy with lust but my nerves crept in again. What if I do it wrong? What if he doesn’t like it? What if I’m bad at it? Thoughts ran through my head at a mile a minute, and Monty took note of my hesitation.

“Hey (Y/N/N). It’s okay. Just breathe.” I still stared at him hesitation clear on my face. “(Y/N), are you okay? Do you want to stop? It’s okay if you do.”

“No. No I want this. I’m just… what if I’m bad at it or you don’t like it?” I asked, finding my voice and expressing my concerns.

“I can assure you that no matter what you do, it will be amazing. I will be here to guide you every step of the way. Just take a few deep breaths and relax. I love you.” He explained kindly. I took a breath to center myself and felt myself relax again. I nodded confidently at him and went back to what I was doing. I took a page out of his book and played with the button on his pants while I built up the courage to go further. His moans and groans spurred me on and I slowly undid the button and pulled his zipper down, tooth by tooth. He shifted so he could help me take them off. There was no point in me trying to still him as he had me, due to our size and strength difference. I pulled his jeans down further and moved so he could kick them off. When I took in the bulge in his boxers, I glanced up, caught his smirk and winked at him. I briefly played with the waistband, but my eagerness returned in full strength and I quickly pulled them down. I blinked slowly and gulped when I saw his cock in its full glory as it hit his stomach. Holy hell. I tentatively reached out and dragged my fingers up the underside. I was very gentle at first but when I heard his sharp inhale, I knew I was doing something right, or at least not wrong. I continued running my fingers up and down, occasionally letting my nails run down lightly. As my confidence grew, I decided it was time to wrap my hand around his member. Again, my ministrations were tentative at first until I heard a curse under his breath and his hips bucked lightly. I squeezed slightly and stroked up and down slightly faster. He groaned louder and I smiled to myself triumphantly. This is fun. I guess I’m good at it. I giggled in my excitement and his hips bucked again. I decided to take a chance and squeeze a little harder and let my nails dig in slightly. He moaned loudly at that. So far, he hadn’t needed to instruct me at all. I stroked faster as my instincts took over once again. Monty gasped and he moved to grab my wrist.

“Stop.” He ground out. I immediately let go of his cock and looked at him with my eyes wide in alarm. Oh shit what did I do? He must have recognised the fear on my face because he cut in quickly before I could say anything. “It’s okay. That was amazing. I just got too close is all. Everything is okay.” I visibly relaxed as my shoulders lowered back to their natural position. He sat up and leaned forward to kiss me and pull me close to him. Nestled in his lap as we kissed, without warning, he flipped us over so I was underneath him again. “You sure you haven’t done that before, you little minx?”

“No I haven’t. Scouts honour.” I giggled. He smiled at me and kissed my nose.

“Alright, I believe you.” He said dramatically. I rolled my eyes playfully at him. Suddenly his tone turned serious. “Are you absolutely positive that this is what you want (Y/N)?” He asked.

“Yes. One hundred percent sure Montgomery.” I told him, wrapping my arms around his neck again to pull him in for a kiss. He smirked into the kiss and we made out for a few minutes, both of us fighting for dominance. He won out in the end and we could feel the shift in the air. It’s time. It’s going to happen. He looked into my eyes lovingly and I leaned up to whisper in his ear. “Condoms are in the drawer of my nightstand.” I nipped his earlobe and he muttered something I couldn’t catch. Monty moved the hair out of my face before he got up to get and put on the condom. My excitement grew as I heard the rip of the foil and I watched him roll it down his cock. I watched him crawl back onto my bed and climb back into position above me. He stroked my face again, lightly dragging his fingertips along my cheek.

“This is going to be more uncomfortable than when I was fingering you. If it hurts too much I need you to let me know so I can slow down or stop, okay (Y/N/N)? I’ll try to keep the pain to a minimum and I’ll go slow but it depends on the person how much it hurts. Remember to breathe. I’ll be right here talking you through the pain and discomfort.”

“Okay. I know. I’ll remember. Please just do it?” I just want to get to the good part. I pleaded, my eyes wide as I looked into his eyes. His pupils took up almost all of the colour in his eyes. He kissed me tenderly again as he reached down to line himself up with my entrance. When I felt him begin to press forward, I took a deep breath. I whined in mild discomfort when he pressed further. He stilled and let me adjust for a few minutes until I nodded. He pulled back and pushed forward a little further this time. I winced slightly and again, he stilled until I let him know it was okay. We continued this pattern until he finally was able to slide all the way inside of me. I moaned loudly at the fullness and clawed at his back. He waited a few minutes to allow me to adjust to the size and sensation of being filled to such a degree. After I adjusted, he began to slowly thrust in and out, his pace increasing with the volume or frequency of my moans. A few moments of adjustment and getting used to the sensations I was comfortable enough to voice what i wanted. “Monty faster please.” Became somewhat of a whispered-or cried out yell-mantra of mine. The faster he thrusted, the more vocal I became and the more I dragged my nails down his back. He also became more vocal as well. He was consistently whispering dirty things in my ear. His words varied from how good it felt to be inside of me to all of the other ways he couldn’t wait to take me later on.

For the second time that night, I felt the knot begin to tighten in my abdomen again. I cried out as his cock hit that spot inside of me that brought me to the edge last time. He nipped my neck harsher than before. I cried out his name and my hips bucked as though my lower body was convulsing. Montgomery took that as his signal to once again, move his hand to draw those same tight, calculated circles around my clit. The knot continued to tighten until it could tighten no more. It snapped and I screamed as he fucked me through my second orgasm of the night.

My orgasm finally subsided after what seemed like hours. My brain was still firing on all cylinders and my nerve endings felt like they had been shocked. I was sure I had drawn blood on Monty’s back but I knew he wouldn’t care. I felt his thrusts begin to become less structured and sloppier as he neared his finish. I whimpered and seductively begged him to release the tension I knew was building for him. He let out a few grunts and I felt his cock twitch inside me. I want to feel that again. As much as possible.

After Monty finished, he carefully pulled out, trying not to hurt me. I groaned at the loss of fullness and the slight discomfort. He rolled onto his back and pulled me close, our breaths coming out as heavy pants. “That was… amazing.” I said, still trying to catch my breath. He nodded and hummed in agreement. Finally, we had caught our breath and my head had cleared some. Before I could get too comfortable beside him, I felt him begin to get up. I groaned in protest and grabbed his wrist.

“I’ll be right back, just going to get a washcloth.” He whispered. I felt him get up and heard the water running in my bathroom, though I wasn’t really focused on more than the fact that my legs felt like jelly and how soft my sheets were. As quickly as he left, he was back and spreading my legs again. I felt the warm washcloth gently wipe my thighs clean and then travel upwards to clean the rest of my intimate areas. I flinched slightly at the contact with my still sensitive nub and he muttered a quick apology. Once I was clean, he crawled back into bed and pulled me close. Monty’s arm laid across my torso and he placed a kiss to my shoulder. It quickly became apparent that the pressure building in my torso was not due to the weight of his arm, but rather a more innate need. Shifting myself out of his grasp to sit up, it was his turn to groan in protest.

“Nature calls. I’ll be right back. Keep my spot warm.” I told him and kissed his cheek. After my needs were taken care of, I found his shirt laying on the floor and slipped it on. I climbed back into bed and pulled his arm back around me. I noticed that while I was in the washroom, he had put his boxers back on. He kissed the top of my head and nuzzled his face in my hair. “Thank you. That was better than I could have imagined.” I muttered, feeling sleep begin to take over.

“Of course. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He said, unable to keep the slight smirk I’m positive he was wearing, out of his voice. I only hummed in response and pulled his arm up to cradle it against my chest. I felt my body continue to succumb to sleep and vaguely heard him mutter for me to sleep. When I woke up several hours later, the sun was beginning to rise, and Montgomery was snoring softly beside me. I checked my phone and saw it was just before five o’clock in the morning. I sighed softly and rolled over, tucking my head against his neck and placing my hand against the middle of his chest. His arm came around my back and pulled me closer still and held me as I fell back into a peaceful slumber.

[franeridart]

Jack says "ignored YOUR rule". Does that mean it's something Bakugou obligates himself not to have or something non of them can have? I'm actually curious 🤔

It’s actually a rule Bakugou put down for himself for a number of reasons, half related to his own safety and the safety of the person he’s dating, the other half to the fact that Bakugou hates lying, but (again for safety reasons) he can’t just go around telling everyone what he’s doing - he doesn’t want a relationship in which he’d just contantly lie to his partner and ditch them for vigilante work without being able to explain them what’s going on, so he put down the rule as soon as he decided he wanted to do this. Well, he hadn’t been interested in relationships anyway before Kirishima, so it was an easy decision to take at the time - now though...

Ahhhh if only he figured out Kiri and Red are the same person smh that’d make everything so much easier on him

Anon said:When you draw Jiro and Bakugo having platonic hugs and cuddles my bi heart becomes incredibly soft THANK YOUUUUUUU

I’M HAPPY TO HEAR THAT cause honestly that’s as self-indulgent as I go hahaha

Anon said:The vigilante au is so far sad but I could totally see it going in a miraculous ladybug kinda direction. What if they tried putting distance between themselves and suddenly found that they're falling again, for the vigilante forms this time because "oh sh*t he's cute in every way Kirishima is" and "He's just my type too, Bakugou-- *sigh* I could use some moving on from him." Or only Kirishima moves to vigilante!Baku but he remains stuck on kiri..//Or what if like, vigilante! Kiribaku are about to get caught by a hero and Kirishima opens up about his last regret of not getting to see his crush one last time after they set distance between themselves, while Bakugou listens and...

That’s!!!! a lot of ideas you got there hahaha I’m glad you’re having fun with the concept!!!!!!

Anon said:That vigilante au is amazing. You really express emotions well in comics.

AAAAAHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH that!!!! honestly means the world to me *sob*

Anon said:I just want to say you're really cool and I like you art uh- K bye

Thank!!!!!!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Oh damn. I think i fall in love for your Vigilantes AU. Please don't stop. I really love it❤️

I mean, as long as you guys are okay with it being a bit all over the place and also being just pencil doodles, then I got no problems doing that right now haha thank you for liking it!!

Anon said:I love your vigilantes AU so much 😍😍😍😍

THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:LET THEM BE HAPPY !!!!

THAT’S THE PLAN!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:May I ask how you draw bakugous hair so well?? I just can’t seem to get the right amount of poof (or should I say BOOM💥 )

oHO I’m glad you like it cause actually the answer is I spent two years drawing it nearly daily and I finally sorta reached a place when I guess I’m okay with how I draw it lol some time ago I drew a step by step for it? but by now my process is mostly “do whatever and hope for the best”, which incidently is also my process in drawing Kirishima’s hair lmao

Anon said:Im a bit confused with the vigilante kiri, does he have black hair in his civilian form and red in his hero form?

YEH it’s one of the reasons why Bakugou still hasn’t figured out Red is Kiri haha thought if you’re asking for the logistics of that, I can’t say I spent too long thinking about it? We can always call it temporary hair dye spry or something like that, but to be fair it’s not like it matters all that much lmao I just needed Baku to be unable to tell it was him easily haha

Anon said:I love ur gem Au! :D are you gonna make more? Its okay if not :)

As I’ve said literally every single time I’ve answered asks since I posted it, MAYBE yes! The thing about that AU is that I love it and I have fun with it, but posting it ended up being the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, so honestly I don’t know when I’m gonna draw it if I’ll draw it, but the possibility is there

Anon said:Hello! I just wanted to say I have love reading your comics and your art is amazing-- but I especially love your vigilantes AU! Thank you so much for sharing it with us!!!

HECK thank you!!!! I’m so happy you’re enjoying it ;O;

Anon said:Why must you hurt us? I started crying at that vigilante au comic..

*passes u a blanket* I’ll try not to make it as sad in the future!

Anon said:Hi! I've purchased the take my hand book about a month ago, just wondering how long it takes for it to be delivered??? BTW I live in NZ so I understand if it takes a while~

Heck sorry anon but I’m so not good with dates, you should check the @takemyhandzine blog for that sorta stuff! Thank you so much for buying it tho!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Is Nico a cinnamon roll or a sinnamon roll?

That......... depends a lot on who you ask :0

Anon said:I love bnha more and more with every new character out. All that's left is to ask, which minor character is currently your favorite? (***That isn't from UA because that is a much bigger dilemma)

oUCH it would have been easier picking from UA actually since I’m pretty sure Amajiki is it hahaha well, if I can’t pick from UA...................... you know what, probably Shishikura

Anon said:Bakujiro friendship is something I didn’t know I NEEDED. U do good work bro

I’M SO GLAD YOU CAN GET BEHIND THAT!!!!!

Anon said:Your art gives me life!!! Every time you post is just so unique in every way :00000 ❤️ anyway i just wanted to let you know that you’re inspiring in every way and that I absolutely adore your kiribaku art to the moon and back!!!

SOB thank you so much???? You’re so sweet!!!! ;O;

Anon said:FRAN!!! YOUR LATEST KIRIBAKU ART KILLED ME (in a good way) HONESTLY YOU IMPROVED SO MUCH SINCE I FIRST STARTED FOLLOWING YOU, IT MOTIVATES ME TO KEEP DRAWING!! THANK YOU

HELL ANON THANK YOU SO MUCH I’M SO GLAD MY FUMBLING AROUND IN THE ART WORLD IS INSPIRING FOR YOU ???? LET’S BOTH KEEP DOING OUR BEST!!!!!

Anon said:fran you could convince me to ship anything with one (1) drawing

Since I got this ask I’ve been trying to find the most outrageous ship just to draw it and test this theory.......... I still haven’t found something outrageous enough but.... soon

Anon said:Hi your art is amazing also beautiful As you probably might know there is a traitor in the show, if you didn't know well then im sorry for spoiling. May I request a traitor kirishima

nnnnnnnggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry anon but the traitor theory arts are stuff I just can’t get behind, mostly so if it’s my fav characters - I don’t find it credible and I don’t find any joy in dwelling in the idea, so I got zero motivation to draw for it orz

Anon said:I can't believe you made me read the phrase "startle and explosion out of baku". (Yay for the vigilantes AU!)

LMAO he’s actually trying to do just that tho, maybe I’ll draw it hahaha

Anon said:Please! I need more BakuKiriKami fan art! I’m gunna die without it!

Anon I’m gonna be very real with you here my first reaction to reading this ask was thinking “then perish”

Anon said:Hello! I don't know if you've gotten this question before but have you ever considered drawing the villains?

I’ve drawn Dabi and Twice in the past! I’m not really much intereste in any other villain atm tho so I doubt I’m gonna be drawing them any time soon ^^’’

Anon said:You are by far my favorite artist. Your Kiribaku gives life to my bleak exsistence. Thank you. I bought some of your things of redbubble to make me happy!

AHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Hello! I'm a big fan of your work and your kiribaku fluff especially, and I've been working on a (not so innocent) fic about Bakugou having burnt marshmallow smelling and tasting sweat, (funny how nitroglycerin is a natural lubricant, tastes and smells like burnt sugar, and is explosive) just wanted to know if you ever thought about it? also wanted to know if you'd like to read my finished fic, should be done real soon and it would mean a lot to know what you think about it!

Anon I’m so sorry but I really can’t say yes to this - especially because you said it means a lot to you, you’re putting me in a spot here where in case I didn’t like it I wouldn’t be able to tell you so anyway (and I generally don’t like talking about fancontent I don’t give a 10/10 to anyway, it’s too rude for me) and I’m sure it’s gonna be a great fic! But by the way you talked about it it’s gonna be a nsfw fic and I really rarely like those fics, so !!! orz I’m sorry, but this is a really uncomfortable request for me ;;;

Anon said:Can I use your art real quick if I hard out credit u? It's alright if I can't

Nope, sorry

Anon said:Could you draw another doodle of Setsuna?. I love how you draw her jfvdkd ;;v;; (Sorry if my English is trash.)

Not right now, but in the future yeah sure, I love her!

Anon said:Your Kirishima is so beautiful i fucking cry omg ;-; thank you for brightening my morning.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; thank you for liking how I draw him !!!!

Anon said:💛💛💛💛 Thank you for sharing your art, it always makes my day

Thank YOU for liking it!!!!!

Anon said:In your SU AU what if a gem offers to replace Kiri with a 'newer, better pearl'? How would Bakugo react?

Actually, Kiri was given to Bakugou specifically because he’s sorta defective, it was punishment for both of them that sorta backfired lmao 

Anon said:hi there! I'm new to your blog and I love your art style immensely! I saw somewhere with your latest seroroki post that you're still finding your main todoship; I hope I dont sound rude or pushy, but can I ask your opinions about todo*aku and/or tod*kir*baku? If not, thank you for your time! Keep up the great work!!

Still not completely sold on romantic tdbk tbh (platonic tho, that’s my jam) but I’ve been real into the ot3 lately!!! It just can’t be my main todo ship bc I still prefer krbk too much over it haha

Anon said:I loveeee your art, especially your kiribaku stuff! But consider! Size difference! What if Kirishima grows a lot but our lil' Baku doesn't? Does he get jealous or does he really like it? There'd be some epic hugs/kisses! What if he secretly loves getting picked up by Kirishima? XD

Oh that’s an hc I see around a lot! Personally I stil prefer them sorta the same size tho ???? with the only difference being Baku being lithe and Kiri being a tank, I think it has to do with the whole “complementary equals” theme they have going on, I like for it to be visually represented too ??? maybe, I had never really thought about the hows or whys of this preference tbh lmao

Anon said:Hey so I'm not up to date with BNHA but in your asks there was a thing about dragon boy having a zombie costume? I had another look at what I think is the right doodle and to me it looks like a Chinese vampire costume! (unless that's not the one you guys were talking about oops)

Nope that’s him, and you’re right!!! Either way my boy still hasn’t done anything worth of note, so I still don’t know why he’s dressed like that orz Hori plssss

[bokdeongeori]

SEVENTEEN IDEAL CUT FAN ACCOUNT 180628/29/0701

So I went to IDEAL CUT on June 28th (”The Scene” All Units), June 29th (Hiphop Team Day), and July 1st (Performance Team Day) in Korea and I want to jot down all my memories and things that stood out to me! I couldn’t go to Vocal Team’s day because I had something else I had to do that day but I wish I could’ve! ;__; I’m going to sort it by day so that I can keep my thoughts organized but honestly this is everywhere because I have so many things to say.

180628 The Scene

This was my first day and understandably I was the MOST excited because I didn’t know what to expect. I managed to get seats on the 2nd floor so it was decently close! This is how close the extended stage was! 

It was POURING outside that day, but I remember feeling how unreal it was to be queuing in line AND watching Jeonghan and Vernon’s pre-concert Vlive right outside the venue. Usually I’m watching from like 2AM in my room, so it was unreal how close they were. Soggy shoes or not, I was so happy to be there. 

The first day, the first few songs were kinda a blur because I was just in pure shock. You know it’s about to start when they play the Thanks MV in full stereo and everybody is doing the fanchant (which I still can’t do lol), but then the VCR plays and we scream every time a member comes on screen (so we screamed a lot.) The first day, everything was new so I died at EVERYTHING lmao. There were so many VCRs and the visuals were out of this world. The lighting and effects in this concert was incredible, it made everything BIGGER and BETTER and the synchronized carat bongs flashing different colors was the most beautiful sight. 

First song was OT13 Highlight, then Thanks and they did this really cool dance breakdown in Thanks that I didn’t get to record because I was dying, seriously my heart was beating so fast. It was so unreal hearing their voices and SEEING the choreo I’ve watched millions of times over through a computer screen, I’m still in shock, it’s exactly as you imagine it. Perfect synchronization and always in tune, and their stamina is amazing. DK and Seungkwan were obviously the strongest singers but everybody held their own. I remember thinking how HIGH Seungkwan, Woozi, and Joshua’s voices were in the theater in comparison to how it sounded on recording, which is interesting because their voices are already high.  

Hoshi and Woozi did Bring It and I was like......what song is this??? BUT IT WAS SO LIT and the choreo is so badass. Hoshi’s stage presence is so commanding, probably the best out of all of them, but Dino is so charming and so is Vernon, but in a swaggy chill way, you know what I mean lol.....

FLOWER, the choreo is sooooooooooo good, I DEMAND A DANCE PRACTICE VIDEO TO DO IT JUSTICE. I was just screaming my head off and trying to pay attention so I didn’t miss anything. The formations.....CHAN U RLLY DID THAT LIL BUDDY!! Later on during the ment when they told us that Dino made the choreo all by himself he was all bashful about it and they kept making fun of him, but then Coups stopped them and praised him on how hard he worked and how stressed Dino was, and Wonwoo/Coups said it must’ve been hard for Chan to teach hyungs because they don’t listen well. AHHH CHAN ;___;

Then they performed NO FUN and CHUCK, which was so cool to see live and sing along. Then they did a long ment to introduce themselves. Hoshi really knows how to rile up a crowd. He comes to the front and we all chant “wangja-nim” (prince) and he LOOOOOVES that, then he asks “what time is it?” etc. u know the drill, BUT HE’S SO FUN and interactive in concert, HE’S JUST ALL OVER THE PLACE. I love Hoshi a bit more than I already did after Ideal Cut. Jun and Wonwoo were the more quiet ones but they were always whispering secrets, Wonwoo was always whispering to members next to him. Dino did this thing where he’s like “SAY HO!” “HOOOO” “SAY ____” “____” sorry I forgot but those kinds of little things were fun. Mingyu and Seungkwan were bickering as usual, I love them. Then they performed Run to You and everybody had mic stands. I loved seeing Vernon and Minghao air guitar with each other. 

Beautiful was a lot of fun because they ran everywhere and HOSHI WAS RIGHT THERE. Then leader line did Change Up AND I DIED BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE THIS SONG LIVE SO BAD. Hoshi was on that extended stage for so long we all tried to wave to him and he waved back looked at everyone, I love him. :(

Then Hiphop Team did Un Haeng Il Chi (me: died), and an unreleased song (me: died 2x) I think I blacked out like the entire second HHT song because it was new, all I heard was SKRRR SKRRR and Vernon’s MOSHI MOSHI and I was really dyinglmaodshlskhkd. Mingyu came up to the extended stage and we all Died. 

Then Vocal Team did Habit (rearranged) and Pinwheel, ugh my heart. They sounded so beautiful. This was when I noticed how high some of their voices really were. I can’t believe the first time I saw Pinwheel in full was LIVE. 

Then Performance Team did Swimming Fool, and there’s this one part where everything went in slow motion and they were doing funny/cute poses in the air, I love them so much. :(  AND JAM JAM. I GOT TO SEE JAM JAM, WITH THE8′s T-H-E-to-the-8 PART MY GOD.........and Jun doing Vernon’s rap part and the dance breakdown and the part at the end where they all do a freestyle. 

Then on to my favorite set, the cute bongbongs. I was dying of how cute they were because they all wore the Bongbong outfits exactly as Mingyu drew them on the washi washi tape they sold as merch. 

They performed Thinkin About You which was the CUTEST EVER. WONWOO WAS SO CUTE WITH HIS LIL PINK LAPTOP AND JEONGHAN WITH HIS MILK AND ANGEL WINGS AND PRINCE HOSHI AND SCOUPS WITH HIS LEADER FLAG AND EVERYONE FOLLOWING HIM LIKE LIL DUCKLINGS AND DINO MAKNAE ON TOP AND JUN WITH A CAT......GOD...... We all sang along to the “I’m thinking about you” part so much fun...

Then Mingyu, DK, and Jun did Hello, which was so cute and sweet. I think they threw their roses into the crowd, lucky carats! 

THEN, THEN..........I GOT TO SEE ROCKET WITH MY OWN EYES!!! You don’t know how badly I wanted to see Rocket, it was so much fun, the choreo was so cute and Joshua and Vernon utilized the entire stage. At the end they did a freestyle dance off, but the first day it was Vernon’s spotlight and the 2nd day it was Joshua’s. I believe they’ve would’ve switched off again but Vernon got injured by the 3rd day. :( Vernon was like “JOSHY JOSHHH!! GO JOSHY GO JOSHY GO GO WHOAAAAA” it was so much fun. 

THEN I GOT TO SEE MISS PRETTY U??? THE LEGEND?? Boo Seungkwan’s high note, that’s all. Then there was another VCR and they did the killer combo of Shining Diamond, Boom Boom (Remix), and ROCK. Mingyu was lying on the floor after they did that set lmao he was so tired. They did another ment and they ended with CLAP (remix). Then they showed a long interview video before the encore and I wish I understood more of what they were saying but basically saying how happy they were to be on stage and in SVT and how thankful they are for carats, etc. people in the crowd were sniffling. :’( 

Then the encore, they did Campfire and we held up our signs....I saw Verkwan in action and also Seokkwan because they were sitting next to each other. They did another ment to say their goodbyes and it was so cute because we were already “AWWW-ing” when it got to Hoshi and Joshua even though they hadn’t said anything yet lol. DK looked really touched but he was like....stop I’m not gonna cry, and he didn’t (At least not on the first day....)

Then they performed Healing (so many cute moments) and Very Nice, which they punk’d us by making us think it ended but it didn’t........like TWICE. And this time it worked because it was the first day. You know how everyone always uwuwuwus Woozi during Healing, well this time, Woozi went down a line and avoided them all but then he got to Wonwoo and PICKED HIM UP ON HIS SHOULDERS SLKdhflksdh don’t know if Woozi’s that strong or Wonwoo’s that skinny, probably both. DK always had a spotlight during Very Nice, he was so hype and funny. We all stood up for the last 2 songs and we were about to sit down after they took their bows but THEY STARTED SINGING AJU NICE AGAIN I WISHED IT WOULD NEVER END.  AHHH it was so much fun, I was so excited to go back the next day.  

180629 H Cut (Hiphop Team Day)

Alright so for Day 2, I’m gonna mostly talk about Hiphop team’s performances because the others were basically the same. Although the thing I really appreciate about SVT is that they realize there are many people who come to their concert more than once so they always change up little things in performances that you would only notice if you saw it before, it’s really the in the little details and they’re so good at that.  But I loved seeing everything again because once wasn’t enough and this time I actually had more of a bird’s eye view. Also, the things they talk about during ments change a little bit too, they always keep you entertained. Oh, and HHT’s parents/families were there too. Vernon was like during his ment, “I love you guys” :’) 

On HHT day, vocal unit still performed Pinwheel and Performance unit performed Jam Jam, but there was no Change Up. 

Hiphop team started out with with Un Haeng Il Chi and THIS TIME they went all out. There was a loooong table with backup dancers and it was so LIT, like at one point Coups got up on the table and walked down the table passing Vernon, Wonwoo, and Mingyu one at a time. I was so unprepared for what was gonna happen next, I expected like, Trauma and Check In BUT NO WE GOT FUCKISDGNDLHF SOLO STAGES. 

WONWOO. There was a female voice in his track so I didn’t know what was happening but then he appeared by himself and I was literally about to pass out. HE FINALLY GOT THE EMO RAP TRACK HE DESERVES. The song has Epik High vibes and he killed it, he really fits that style so well............I have a fancam but it’s honestly a mess bc I was dying so I can’t let u all see me like that. Oh and during the ment, they kept making fun of Wonwoo’s solo by imitating the girl’s part, (Hoshi did of course), yes I saw Soonwoo in action.

VERNON. His track so SOOOOO.....HIM. It’s has a summery chill hop vibe with Deep lyrics about finding himself YOU KNOW, VERNON STUFF, I love him. Did I mention Vernon has so much stage presence, it’s natural and it just oozes out of him. I HAVE A FANCAM OF HIM TOO. I realized they put his lyrics on the screen so I filmed that, and he mentioned that he requested they do that. Okay go off poet. 

MINGYU.......I was clutching my heart. Hiphop team went off but Mingyu, Mingyu finds his true calling. He sang his big heart out beautifully, a soft spring ballad, I was dying in my fancam of him too lmao GOD I’m so embarrassing. His song was so good, and I’m partial to ballads. In the ment they mentioned that Woozi made the song and Mingyu helped and he got scolded a lot....lol love it. At the end of the song he has this look on his face and I just......anyway...

S DOT COUPS. Oh my god, he did some magic trick where he was in a room with a glass window and someone shot the window then POOF he’s outside the room with a gun in his hand and I guess HE shot the window?? He freed himself?? Deep stuff. I think I heard Woozi’s voice in his track, but Mr. Coups went OFF and he was really h...ot, we don’t talk about it anymore. 

They they all show up again for the unrleased HHT track they performed the other day, which I got a better fancam of because I knew it was coming. The other performances were basically the same, I’m just glad I got to see them again. 

180701 P Cut (Performance Team Day, Final Day)

So again, same stuff so I’m mostly going to be talking about the solos and some ending stuff because this was the last day. It was so bittersweet. Honestly I was thisclose to crying because what kind of devil plans these events. 

I didn’t get any fancams of this day because I just wanted to enjoy it. Also, this was Vernon’s second day of having to sit in performances because of his ankle. I was so sad for him, so I screamed so loud for him every time he appeared. But the members were so sweet to him, like there was always someone there to keep him company when he had to sit on the main stage while everyone was running around. Like Coups or DK or Wonwoo, I love a family. :’(    

SO...DINO’S SOLO STAGE. DINO IS SOOOOOO CHARISMATIC, SO TINY BUT STAGE PRESENCE SO HUGE, AND HE’S THE BEST DANCER!!! LIKE THAT’S MY SON UP THERE!! Before the song began, he had his jacket hung up and he changed into a different jacket and we all screamed, then he danced his butt off to some autotuned EDM bop and of course paid tribute to MJ at the end. I was just screaming so loud, Chan makes me so proud, I rlly raised him. 

Then The8 performed his mixtape but in Korean, and his stage was sooooooo beautiful and relaxing. I’m glad he found his style because he really shined. He was sitting on swing and the backdrop was a crescent moon so it looked like he was sitting on the moon and the lyrics were to the right of the screen in the stars, gosh it was so beautiful. 

Then Jun performed a pop rock song in a sheer shirt which i didn’t even realize because I was so far away but you could definitely see.....everything...lmao. ANYWAY I’m so glad Jun found confidence on stage when he’s with carats because he ROCKED IT OUT THERE AND THE VOCALS WERE GOOD. #morelines4junnie

Then Hoshi, oh my god Hoshi. He really brought it all out with the sensual stuff, like he went full Taemin on us. He came to the middle stage and the lights came down staggered and he started dancing like “you. can. touch” the stadium went wild. The DANCE was really like.......sensual?? but like not overtly sexy like um...WHO, but really sensual and reminded me a lot of Taemin’s Move. Not like a copy, but like, inspired by it. And he had female backup dancers oh ho ho Mr. Hoshi. AND THE DANCE BREAKDOWN, there was a part when he bent backwards at the knee but he kept going down step by step, it was so cool, I was screaming my head off. 

The rest was basically the same with an added aju nice, but Hoshi kept HINTING that we had to stay until the end, ok we see you. Oh, and on the last day, DINO, DK, AND JUN CRIED. My heart really couldn’t take it. SEEING DK IN TEARS GETS ME EVERY TIME, JUN TEARING UP AFTER SAYING HE FEELS SECURE IF MEMBERS AND CARATS ARE WITH HIM, AND DINO ALWAYS BEING STRONG BUT FINALLY BREAKING DOWN AFTER MEMBERS SAID HE DID WELL.............i’m crying right now.  

God I love them so much, you could really feel the sincerity, like they LOVE IT on stage and they love performing at concerts so much, and they say we make them so happy but do they know they make us so happy ;__________; 

And they played the teaser you all saw on youtube at the end of the concert after they exited the stage. All in all, I lived my best carat life and I have no regrets and my love for them grew infinitely, which I didn’t even know was possible. The only thing is that I have terrible post-concert depression after 3 days and I miss them so much now. Like I woke the the morning after the last concert and saw Hoshi on Vlive chat and...........

 .....tears. See why is he so happy? Anyway thanks for reading my long fan account if u made it to the end, amazing. I hope I see them again someday and I can’t wait for the comeback!!!! 

[okyio-archive]

hey guys !! im so sorry for being absent for so long :+( !! it’s been a crazy couple of days and i really needed to recover after everything that has been happening. again i just want to say thank you for everyone who has been so patient with me. i’m going to clear these anon msgs + i’ll respond to all my private msgs&discord chats + check out what i’ve missed once i wake up tomorrow. i love you guys sm for showing love + support. i wish you a happy thursday :+)

sims related

Would u ever do an editing tutorial? like how u draw little doodles and stuff like that! If it's not too much fo a hassle. love you SO MUCH!! <3

hey nonny :+) please check the faq next time !! I’ve answered how i drew the little doodles there but for a full blown tutorial i’ve already mentioned that i’ll do one once i have more free time :+) !! thanks for the support love !!

What are your favorite brushes for edits?

i recently found one right over here :+) and i’ve been experimenting w/ em !! tbh i dont have a fav cause im always trying out new brushes out + seeing which ones i like !!! so im sorry if that doesn’t answer your question asjkdhf

hi!!! hope you're having a good day!! is it okay to use the sims from your sim dump in a story as long as you get credit? if not i totally understand!

thanks nonny for asking :+) !! yeah definitely !! you can do whatever you like w/ them !! i would love to see so feel free to @ me :’+) have fun and tysm for using my sims :’+)!!

personal questions

Can i be your friend?

ofc nonny :+) !! ill prob reply slow af but i promise you that i would love to make friends :+) so hmu whenever you feel comfortable !!

How do you deal with perfectionism? Or what ever that word is????

honestly, tk wrote a perfect post outlining what she does and it helped me out a lot as well !! so check her post out + hopefully it can help you a bit too :+) if you ever need someone to talk to, im here :’+)

would it be ok if I asked u for friendship advice?

ofc nonny :+) !!! just hmu off/on anon in my inbox or pm if you wish :+) im always willing to help as long as you’re a little patient w/ me since i reply quite late haha but im always here to listen + give my 2 cents :+)

I find it so hard to study, I get distracted so easily and sometimes it isn’t my phone :(

awh man nonny i know what you mean. i struggle w/ studying a lot and i’m a uni student haha. besides the typical tips you can find online, what i found is this app called forest (it’s on ios + android devices!!) to help me stay on task (whether it’s studying/chores). check out more information here. it’s been honestly helping me a lot + who doesn’t like plants??? 

I don't know who to tell this to and you seem really kind: I'm the pickiest eater I've ever met or heard of. It's just NO most food is disgusting it just makes me wanna barf. And everyone treats me like a 4-year-old child. Nothing cheers me up anymore. I think I have selective eating disorder and nobody understands :( People are being mean to me all the time because I don't like certain foods and maybe I AM just a 4-year-old child. I need help and comfort :( Because being a picky eater is hard.

awh nonny first thank you for telling me about that :’+) im really sorry if im replying this super late asldkjf. i honestly really appreciate that you opened up to me about it okay? i know this can be difficult since it’s smt so personal. i want to let you know right now that i’m always here for you + supporting you okay? i know it’s difficult when your surrounding group of people don’t understand / support. although i haven’t personally dealt with this, i would suggest finding a professional + see what their take on it? if it’s to the extent that certain food makes you barf, it’s def more than just “wow ur picky” yeuno? cause you physically can’t eat smt without barfing it all out. seek a professional when you’re more comfortable okay? you dont have to do it now but baby steps!! remember you’re not alone, im always here for you oaky nonny :+) every step of the way!! lmk + update me okay? i’m wishing you luck ily !!

my moms having her 4th child and like im really nervous abt it cause this is the first time im actually old enough to like remember it and take care of him and like im scared

!! nonny thank you for coming up to me + telling me about it - i honestly really appreciate it :’+) !! first of all: congrats !! i know things will definitely be different since there are responsibilities to deal w/ and added stress but remember !! to take it slow okay? it’s 100% okay to make mistakes. it’s 100% normal to feel overworked. there will prob be more little arguments here and there since everyone will be quite restless + more irritable but take it slowly + (literally) baby steps okay? if it gets too much for you, take a breather and come back to it. im sure your mom will understand if it gets too much for you. and besides - im here supporting and rooting for you too nonny :+) !! i honestly cant imagine taking care of another human being at this age either - heCk i can’t even take care of myself askdjhf but remember it’s a learning curve!! it’ll take awhile + there will be a lot of obstacles to huddle through but it’ll be rewarding okay? again, if u ever need someone to talk to, im always here :+) !! ily nonny!! stay strong

Hi! I'm really sorry to bother you rn, but I just really, REALLY miss my dog who passed away several years ago. She was like my sister... I related to her more than people & I could always rely on her for comfort. All I want to do is just hug her again, but I know I can't do that. I just can't move on. I love her so much. I'm sorry, but I need to tell this to someone, ANYONE, because it's really been keeping me down lately...(dog death anon cont.) I've been seeing a therapist since she's died, and I've been on several medicines which DO help, but only to a certain degree. I realize there's a certain part that I, myself, need to control (ie moving on). but like I said, it's hard. I haven't told anyone this, because I'm afraid of looking stupid for letting my dog's death get to me this much that it's required hospitalizations and such. I just want to see her again. (end)

!!!!! asdf you’re never a bother nonny !! dont ever thing that alright? i’m always here for you ready to listen no matter what (i’m just a super slow replier so i apologize for that askdhf). but first thank you for coming to me + telling me about your personal problems - i honestly appreciate sm. i’m honestly so sorry nonny... i can relate to some extent because i got my dog when i was in gr 7 and he was my only friend who i can go to to feel love + comfort up since i’ve been bullied since elementary school & never really had friends. i can’t imagine what you’re going through .. i’m honestly so sorry. don’t think that you’re stupid at all okay? i’m the last person on the earth to ever think you are. i’m glad you’re seeking a therapist right now !! however, i 100% understand if it’s difficult to move on - cause it is!! my grandpa past away 10 years ago and he was one of my best friends and he was really the only “father figure-like” role model i look up to. till this day my heart aches thinking about my grandfather and how much i miss him. similarly, i would definitely feel the exact same way w/ my dog if he passed away because i treasure him sm. so don’t be too hard on yourself about moving on. i know it’s easier said than done but different people vary on how long they mourn for. some can be 100% okay in a couple months while others takes years - and that’s 100% okay! why? because we’re human. there’s no need to rush in “moving on” - take it in your own pace. i know the pressure / stigma of others thinking you’re “weird/stupid” for being like this state further creates anxiety/stress in “forcing” yourself to rapidly wanting to move on. however, i urge to try your best to ignore what others might think + focus on yourself to the best of your abilities. perhaps distract yourself in finding a new hobby / doing smt that you love or smt new. it takes time to recover - no matter how long you take, no one’s rushing you oke :+)? ill be here every step of the way if u ever need me. it’s okay to have those days where you tried so hard but u end up at point A because after you go through that hurdle, you’ll be closer to your goal. take as long as you need - baby steps nonny :+) i’m here rooting for you oke? i love you so much. you’re a strong sweetheart and i know you can do it. 

[argentarium]

kara sevda (3) ↠ stilinski

author ; fessa

rating ; 18+ nsfw

pairing ; fuckboy!stiles X oc!reader

word count ; 3003

warnings ; angst

a/n ; u guys r making me cry with all your support, thank u for all the feedback, i really appreciate it and i love u guys :,) p.s. playlist coming soon

i. ii. - iv.

*not my gif*

kara sevda

/noun/

1. blinding love;

literally translates as “black love”

The past couple weeks went by with blur. When you first saw your Gran again, that’s when all the tears began to pour out. You held it in for a while but when you saw her in the hospital bed you just lost it.

You were barely in school because you needed to keep driving down south to take care of your Gran as much as possible with your dad. It was a horrible schedule to balance but it kept you on your feet. Your mind was mostly occupied and you didn’t really think about how you were feeling but how everything was going around you. You simply didn’t have time to think about yourself and you liked it, because if you could really just sit down and think about what has been going on, it would rip your mind in half.

That’s when your father made the decision. He hated how you kept travelling back and forth from Beacon Hills down to Emeryville, California. He was able to be transferred down south with his job and you were going to be moving down to be closer with your grandma. It did compromise your college plans of going out of state but you had to be with her as much as you could before she died.

It was your last day at Beacon Hills High School. It was the first day you came that week and it was Wednesday already. Scott checked up on you a lot but you rarely had time to talk but you appreciated how he did. Through all of the hell you were going through at the moment you found yourself lucky to have him there, Allison was one lucky girl.

The icy stares never stopped but you continued with your life nonetheless. You had bigger problems to worry about other than stupid high school teens. As you were pushing your way through the crowded halls, you heard your name being called out.

“Y/N!” You turned to see Scott weaseling his way through to catch up to you. “Hey, uh- haven’t seen you around in a while..” He trailed off awkwardly.

You let out an awkward chuckle, “Yeah well I’ve been a little busy lately..” You said, hugging your books to your chest as your eyes trailed down to the ground.

Scott couldn’t help the immense pity that washed over him when he finally spoke to you. Ever since that night, he was torn between you and Stiles. Stiles wanted him erase your friendship with each other but Scott didn’t want to lose his best friend. “Oh.. Right..” Scott mumbled and you nodded your head, about to walk away before he spoke up again. “Uh, how’s Grams doing?” He asked so sweetly, causing a memory to spark in your head.

Scott met Grams a many years back when her illness wasn’t bad yet. She was still able to walk around outside and play with you and your friends. She loved the both of them like they were her own but she always had this feeling about Stiles. As much as she loved Scott, she would often ask about Stiles and want to know what he was up to, you assumed it was favoritism but she was onto something else.

“Oh, um- she’s been.. she’s been sick lately and it’s not looking to good..” You said softly, shifting the books in your arms. You turned and saw him nod in understanding, you didn’t have to have werewolf senses to feel his sorrow. As he was about to say something you cut him off, “I’m moving down to be with her.” You stated abruptly. Someone had to know what was happening. “Wait- What? When?” Scott asked in shock, his eyes almost bulging out of his head.

“Today.”

“Today?!” Scott exclaimed and you glared at him for causing some attention to fall upon you two. “Today?” He repeated much quieter.

“It’s my last day I guess..” You shrugged as you stopped right next to the door of your classroom. “If you want to come see me before I leave, that would be great rather than saying our goodbyes right now.” You chuckled but his facial expression didn’t change.

“What about Stiles?”

The dreaded mention of the name pulled one of your heartstrings. Scott could feel the spike in your heartbeat and smell your uncomfortability. “What about Stiles?” You asked back in a rougher tone.

“Come on, he hasn’t been the same for weeks and you-” Scott cut himself off, staring at you with remorse. “You haven’t been the same either.”

“If you lost your best friends in one night, how would you feel?” You tried your hardest to not snap at him, he didn’t deserve your rage. The mere mention of Stiles triggered you.

“But you’re fine.” Scott stressed but you were certainly not. As you were about to protest he cut you off, “Compared to him!” He added quickly. “Stiles has been off the rails.. He’s been with another girl every night and when he isn’t, h-he’s drinking you know? And you know him, he isn’t like that and his grades are plummeting..”

You heard the worry and fear in Scott’s voice. At this point, you wanted to just yell at Stiles for being so stupid and then hug him after he realizes what’s been wrong. But you couldn’t, Stiles wanted nothing to do with you but listening to Scott stumble over his words like that.. You haven’t seen him so worried about something before.

“What am I supposed to do about that?” You shrugged, keeping your emotions inside although there was no point, Scott could hear your heartbeat spike from being nervous.

“Can you just talk to him?” Scott asked pleadingly, somehow making his eyes seem bigger, and puppy-like.

“Stiles won’t even look at me, let alone talk to me.” You stated, partially true. You had the run in a few weeks back but that was it, no contact with him whatsoever. “And I don’t want to either.” You stated defiantly, folding your arms across your chest.

Scott rolled his eyes, “I don’t have to be a wolf to be able to tell that you are lying.” He said, rubbing his crooked chin before looking at the ceiling in thought. “Just talk to him, you don’t want any loose ends before you leave, right?” He raised a brow, holding his hands out to urge you on. “It’s your last day, you won’t see him again for however long, can you just try?”

You looked at him with annoyance. You didn’t want to comply, you wanted to just leave and forget, but there was a part of you that wanted to talk to Stiles, make it all better. You didn’t want to lose your best friend already. It may have only been a year but usually friendships last much longer than that. And those damn puppy eyes Scott gave you were the bane of your existence.

“Fine.” You muttered through grit teeth, watching as Scott silently fistbumped the air in achievement. “But how are you going to get him to? He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“Trust me, I can make it happen.”

“What do you mean there’s a werewolf in the janitor’s closet?!” Stiles whispered as loud as he could to his best friend as they were speed walking down the hallways.

“I mean there is a werewolf in the janitor’s closet at the end of the hall!” Scott said shaking his head, waving his hands around in the air like it was obvious. “Just shut up and walk.” He muttered, knowing his lie was terrible.

As the two approached the door, their steps became much quieter and Scott moved a finger up to his lips. Stiles nodded his head, creeping behind Scott, watching him carefully open the door.

Stiles tentatively payed attention, peering his head over Scott’s shoulder until the door was open. Scott motioned to let Stiles go first but Stiles’ face was already twisted in confusion as he began to walk inside, “Scott, there’s nothing in-” The spastic boy was immediately cut off as Scott forcefully pushed the skinny kid into the dimly lit closet.

Your head snapped up as you heard the door slam. You sighed, putting your phone in your back pocket, there was a reason why Scott never came up with the plan. “Hi.” You said shortly, looking at the boy you fell in love with right in front of you.

Stiles didn’t say a word but glared then turned toward the door, pounding it hard, “Scott, let me out of here!” He ordered, not even looking at your face but his eyes burning holes in the wooden door.

“No!” Scott replied. “Not until you guys make up.”

“I didn’t want to do this either..” You said, drawing your eyes on the ground so you wouldn’t have to look him in the eye. You agreed that you didn’t want to be in the same room as him, you felt it would’ve been easier if you just left.

“Then tell Scott to let us out of here.” Stiles grunted, folding his arms across his chest as he rested his back against the shelf.

“But this needs to be fixed.” You reminded yourself out loud, it was for closure. Like Scott said, you didn’t want any loose ends. Twiddling with your fingers shakily, you didn’t let him speak, “Look Stiles, I am sorry I said that, it was an accident..”

“You don’t get it, do you, Y/N?” Stiles spat, causing you to look up at his angered face. “Nothing will ever be the same between us and I will never love you that way.”

Stiles’s words were like knives, scraping on the strings of your heart and ripping you to pieces. He was right, and the mere thought of it was bringing tears to your eyes. But you had to keep trying, Stiles always came around.

“I’m really sorry, Stiles. I want to fix this, I want to fix us and all I want is to be your friend again, like we were before.” Your voice faltered, you were practically begging at this point. You kept your eyes focused on his chest, staring into those whiskey eyes would make you so weak.

Stiles drew his lips in a thin line and shook his head, beginning to pace in the small space. “This can’t be fixed. There is nothing that will ever fix what happened.”

You nodded your head, feeling your eyes well up again until a single tear rolled down your cheek. Your vision was blurry as you tried to keep your eyes open, not blinking so the tears wouldn’t fall. “I know-”

“You know this is your fault, right?” Stiles barked, cutting you off as your body twitched in shock. “You can’t even look at me right now! And you are trying to get us back to normal? Piecing us together again is impossible, Y/N. Whatever was between us before..” He said darkly, moving closer to you. “.. is gone.”

You swallowed a thick lump that was sitting in the back of your throat, which in turn let all the tears stream down. You finally looked up at him and couldn’t find any hope in those amber eyes, just a cold, heartless void showing the Stiles you knew and loved was no longer there all because you ruined it.

You cleared your throat, trying to tame your emotions to match his stiff demeanor. “Just to be clear,” You began as you brought your hands up to wipe away the tears. “We are no longer going to be friends or anything else from now on because I ruined it?” You asked, summarizing everything Stiles blamed you for and wanted.

Stiles’s look never changed, his arms still folded across his puffed chest defensively and no feelings of remorse passed his eyes. You were so desperately trying to find a sign that showed he cared but there was none. It was like your whole past with him was erased, the moments you shared on a video call, or when Lydia was in the hospital after being bitten and he was terrified for her, you were there for all of it.

“Correct.” Stiles confirmed, the word easily rolling off his tongue.

You swallowed once again before nodding your head, the simple word ringing in your mind again and again. “Alright.” You responded softly, clearing your throat. “I won’t bother you anymore and you won’t ever want to be friends again..” You sighed, reminding yourself of what he wanted.

You motioned him to move out of the way as you moved towards the door, patting softly. “Scott?” You asked out, pressing against the door. “You can let us out now.”

Not a moment later you heard the lock click and watched the doorknob twist from the outside. Scott pulled the door open slowly, letting the hinges creak loudly. He didn’t look at you, he was unhappy too, thinking Stiles would come around but he didn’t. The only time Stiles let him down.

And you.. You weren’t a mess like you thought you would be. That was the only time you were able to focus on something, you had been pushing your feelings aside for weeks already from being so busy all the time. After everything that had just happened, you didn’t feel pain anymore but you couldn’t tell if it was acceptance or not. All you felt was this numbness.. a feeling that you began to like.

Scott was kind enough to stop by your house and help you pack the rest of your things in your car. You were supposed to leave at three-thirty, but Scott insisted you stayed to wait. The two of you were sat on your steps of your porch, looking at the clouds moving through the sky. Scott claimed he knew Stiles better than you, which you didn’t necessarily doubt. The two were best friends way before you came around, he knew Stiles like no one else but at this point, Stiles was unpredictable.

“Scott, this is pointless already.” You sighed staring into the distance from your porch before looking down at your phone as it was already four o’clock. Scott had convinced to stay a little longer because he was so sure that Stiles would change his mind and come running back to you. “If Stiles wanted to fix things with me he would’ve shown up thirty minutes ago..” You said hopelessly.

You tried to not get your hopes up, burying all of your emotions deep down because you knew he would not come around. Stiles never let you down.. But that changed. And as much as you really wished he would just come back and sweep you up in his arms, it wasn’t going to happen. And you were just trying to accept it.

“No, he’s coming, give it another five minutes..” Scott piped up. “He’s probably finishing homework or-”

You turned your head looking over to Scott. He looked so hopeful. You checked your phone once more and noticed two more minutes had already gone by. You kept your feelings inside and set the phone down on your steps quietly. “Scott, it’s okay..”

“No, Y/N, it’s not okay. Stiles is just being - difficult - right now, you’ve never doubted him before so don’t start doubting him now.” Scott declared with confidence, taking your hand and looking you in the eyes. “Stiles would not do this to you.”

“Scott, some friendships don’t work out.” You breathed truthfully, turning your head away and looking towards the horizon. “It’s been like a month already and he still looks at me like I am worthless. I can’t chase after someone who doesn’t want me even as an acquaintance because I have been the patient one here and I can’t let this happen to me anymore.”

You felt Scott’s stare at the side of your head, “Y/N.. He loves you.”

You wiped your eyes, feeling a tear beginning to roll down your cheek as you were shaking your head, “No, Scott. Stiles loves Lydia. The girl he has been pining after since the third grade because he is not good enough for her just like how I am not good enough for him.” Your voice faltered, admitting the truth, noticing how hard it was to actually accept it.

“Who is going to come up with our plans? W-Who is going to be there when we screw up and we could die on the spot?” Scott began to list just as your dad honked the car horn. “We need you, Y/N. Stiles needs you, I need you, we all need you.”

Your dad was motioning for you to come to the car. There was still no sign of Stiles and you weren’t that disappointed. You stood up and Scott did the same. “Scotty, you need each other more than you need me. You’re never going to be given something that you can’t handle. By the time this whole supernatural drama is over, you won’t even remember why you needed me.” You said letting a smile start up on your face. You were calmer and accepting it slowly became easier.

Scott pulled you into a bear hug, nuzzling his face in your shoulder, “I’m going to miss you so much.”

“But I am going to need you to do me a favor..” You mumbled.

“Hmm?”

You pulled apart from him, “Don’t let him contact me if he decides to have second thoughts.” You told him, knowing it was for the best.

“But Y/N…”

“Scott, please.” You said softly and he nodded his head after a moment. You couldn’t let Stiles just waltz back into your life if he pleased and you didn’t want anymore drama in your life. You gave Scott one last hug before you walked to your dad’s car, getting into the passenger’s side.

“Ready to go?” Your dad asked, offering a smile as he fastened his seatbelt.

“Ready as I’ll ever be…”

tags :) ; @squirels-angels-and-moose @were-cheetah-stiles @shameless-danni @danopeg @aestheticallytrashysunflower @lcnelykth @rememberstilinski @wydobrien @amethystmerm4id @charmedjeri @itskatiemahoney @leilaelizabth @pufflethehuff @parislight @unfoxs @infinitydunbar @ellie-bee242 @iknowisoundcrazy @mieczzyslaw

[beebosbitchh]

1-65 ;)

holy heck ! thank you sophiw i lov u 🍒

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

i dont understand this question?? like sometimes i doubt my own existence and other times i doubt that i exist to certain ppl? ya?

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

2,, normal amount? like good for sleep but pitch black is scaryy but not to the point i need the escape ?? if that makes sense??

3. The person you would never want to meet?

guy fieri, i dont think i need to know if hes actually real ? like is he real and from this dimension or from flavortown (which he has a very scarily detailed description of)?? thats not something i need to know

4. What is your favorite word?

hmm, probably ‘fam’ obviously

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

a willow tree !!!!!!!!!! i just talked to my mom about this :-0

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

ngl but i dont look in the mirror anymore unless its lip syncing along to a song sung by a guy/someone w a deeper voice bc i feel like it suits me better! gotta love coping w dysphoria!

7. What shirt are you wearing?

baseball tee, gay

8. What do you label yourself as?

nb, lesbian, fool

9. Bright room or dark room?

dark room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

slepe

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

10-11 when i was in 5th grade. i still only had two friends but i was way more extroverted and everything was so carefree and i was very invested in adventure time and art. i think that was the most of a childhood i got? i honestly did not do much as a kid and i wish i had..

12. Who told you they loved you last?

sophiw ! tumblr user almightyportraits ! the loml !

13. Your worst enemy?

x

14. What is your current desktop picture?

one from apple called ‘abstract shapes’ its very orange but also blue which is my fave color pairing atm so its perfect

15. Do you like someone?

tumblr user vahilla

16. The last song you listened to?

megan played ‘marceline’ by willow in her car ! a song i suggested to her a few months ago and it makes me very happy that she likes it especially bc we bonded over adventure time in 6th grade :-)

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

mmyy seelfff ??

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

mmmyseyyffelllff ??

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? 

eh whats the point

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

n o ne ? 

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

what is the opposite of nb,, i feel like if i was opposite of how i present id be a girl, which is a verryyy weird thought for me, pass

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

no :-/

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

uh first of all blood, like, ill pass out,, second of all,, literally everything worries me

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

jimmy johns #16, turkey, bacon, lettuce, tomato, NO MAYO

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

im a very practical person so the least boring answer i can come up w is more art supplies

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

denmark

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

fukcing , acetoNe

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

i think a FIRST rule would have to be pretty IMPORTANT so probably smt like how ~WE THE PEOPLE~ are all EQUAL would be a pretty good start and pretty UNDENIABLE and STRAIGHT FORWARD especially if it was the FIRST thing in this,, hmm lets call it the CONSTITUTION, in the completely hypothetical society

29. What is your favorite expletive?

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuk cufck ufc kfuck 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

sunglasses??!!! that shit gotta be bright huh>?? gotta protect my retinas 

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i wanna say my first relationship made me a better person but that shit was rreeeaaallyyyy fucking awful and 4 months (+recovery months) that i will never get back and i think ? maybe ?? i wouldve been ok without it ? idk just a thought

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! 

spain ?!?!? why not + i sorta know the language? thatd b cool

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

zoey my dog :-( i miss her a lot, this month it will have been two years oh my god i miss her so much

34. What was your last dream about?

the last one i remember was a nightmare about someone tryna murder me i was very scared

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

i think so , when i was two i got really really sick and couldve died ?

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

ahh yes ! we gave hhimm,, fruit snack nipples, please forgive me fathr

38. What is the color of your socks? 

grey w blue n orange stripes ( again i lov blue n orange together, my shirt is teal and i have an orange hat on wow)

39. What type of music do you like?

all! i had to train this new guy at work and im sooo awkward but once why started talking about music it was easy for me to talk bc it was smt we both really like !!! i felt like i could actually communicate w feeling a disconnect it was nice ! we talked mostly about rap which was cool and unexpected but i could do it ? i really love music and i love being able to know enough to talk about it ,, isk 

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises, ive been pushing myself to wake up unreasonably early to have more time to myself and i get to watch the sunrise most days which is nice

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

chocolate 

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

whom?

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

college? god i dont even know… smt w art.. by an illustrator or art teacher or freelance artist or graphic designer ,, i really dont know

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

one thing ?!!?!? i wish i was neurotypical

46. Are you reliable?

yes? i try hard to be? i hope so ?

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

u still a lil bitch ?

48. Do you hold grudges? 

nope i try not to, ive had too many toxic petty people in my life that i dont need to be one myself.. now this is grudges w/o reason, but if ive given people several ‘second chances’ and theyre still (thumbs down) then ill avoid them but w/i reason?

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

DOG HORSES BIG DOGs

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

mm probably smt w my lab partner from last year. she always sends me weird quotes from a fanfiction shes reading and its weird but i really appreciate that she still talks to me or talks to me at all tbh

51. Are you a good liar?

nooo ?? i try not to lie? mb not tell the full truth but idk , i feel like id feel too guilty

52. How long could you go without talking?

uhh literally days like i already fucking do.. i m taking this as verbally but i dont get texts so like, it would not be hard

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

before i went to short hair i used to alllwaayyys wear a tight ponytail every single day bc i wasnt girly enough to do anything w it and it was really really gross like thank god i cut it all off

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

heck yeah

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

*clears throat*

h-

hewwo?

56. What do you like on your toast?

butter and jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

x

58. What would be you dream car?

razor scooter

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

sometimes im just too physically or emotionally exhausted to stand so ill just,, lay down? ive fallen asleep in the shower before ha

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yup

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

whenever it comes up but i dont ,, seek it out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

Q

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons tf

64. What do you think about babies?

evil, ugly, dont see the appeal. open ur eyes ppl !!!! bbs are n Ot cute !!

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

x

[logh-icebergs]

Episode 15: The Battle of Amlitzer Starzone

October 10-15, 796/487. To the surprise of absolutely no one with any common sense, Reinhard’s admirals make quick work of several of the Alliance fleets, killing a bunch of redshirt admirals in the process. Unable to swallow the humiliation of withdrawal, Lazzll orders the remaining forces to gather in the Amlitzer starzone, where with their powers combined they can...I dunno, kill slightly more people on their way to defeat I guess. Any lingering dreams of a miraculous turning of the tides are crushed when Kircheis uses the newfangled technology of directional Seffle particles to destroy a minefield and bring his fleet of 30,000 ships to the battle as reinforcements.

Poplan!

Olivier Poplan showed up way back in “My Conquest” in the role of a rather dopey comic relief character, one of the tools the movie used to show us a variety of perspectives on the ongoing battles. We’ve glimpsed him once or twice since, but in this episode for the first time we get to focus on him a bit more; and the first thing that the OVA wants us to know about Poplan is that he’ll take any opportunity, even the twenty seconds before his Spartanian fighter is about to launch into battle, to flirt with a cute girl:

To be fair, she is indeed really cute…

There is a lot to say about this incredibly brief interaction. What Poplan actually says is “na, ii darou?” which translates most literally to “hey, isn’t it okay/good?” There are a couple factors that make this incredibly vague phrase feel like a flirtation or come-on: the way he leans toward her with a slight smile; the lowered voice. Her response reinforces this read by treating his actions as inappropriate to the current situation. (What she says is “komarimasu, tai-i, konna toki ni”—”that would be troublesome at a time like this, Lt.”) Is she reading him correctly? Could his question have actually just been about the progress of the repairs on his ship?

Well, yes, it could have been, but the accompanying body language and tone are flirty enough that at the very least there’s innuendo built into his words. Of course as she points out, this is a ridiculous time for him to be propositioning anyone; their interaction is immediately interrupted by an officer berating him for being the last plane out, Poplan takes off, and (spoiler!) we never see this woman again. What on earth, then, was the point of that twenty-second scene?

I’ve mentioned that Cazellnu plays an important role in the show by embodying some of the heteronormative structures of Alliance society: Not only does he himself have a picture-perfect wife and kids (we’ll see them soon I promise!), but we’ll also hear him explicitly voice views about the righteousness of marriage and procreation. Poplan plays a similar and complementary role, giving voice to another side of heteronormativity: the pressure for men to constantly pursue women as sexual conquests. His introduction in this scene emphasizes that sex is so constantly on his mind that he can’t resist flirting even as he flies into battle—and of course that very idea, of men as sex-obsessed and unable to control themselves around women in any situation, is another widespread norm. True to this introduction, Poplan discusses sex constantly: bragging about women he’s slept with in the past; teasing other characters about not sleeping with enough women; pontificating about the virtues of sleeping around (with women). This potentially puts characters who don’t relate to this sort of hypersexualized straight masculinity in somewhat uncomfortable situations.

There’s another angle to Poplan’s strange timing here: The fact that his ambiguous proposition is guaranteed not to go anywhere at the moment makes it entirely performative. In fact if you pay close attention to Poplan (and we will!), something around 95% of what we see involves performing or projecting heterosexuality rather than, well, actually enacting it. Obviously that doesn’t mean that the stuff he says is insincere or false, but ambiguity is always worth keeping an eye on in this show.

...and Konev!

No discussion of Poplan is complete without talking about Ivan Konev, the other star Spartanian pilot of Yang’s fleet and Poplan’s constant companion. When Poplan discovers that the firing sights on his Spartanian are misaligned, Konev covers for him to help get him back to the relative safety of the ship, leading to in my opinion the most intense scene of the whole episode.

We’ve seen Poplan and Konev deal with the stress of battle by treating it like a game: betting on the outcome back in “My Conquest,” and generally keeping up a running tally of their respective kills for bragging rights. But these are in fact life and death battles, not some video game; and faced with malfunctioning equipment that put his life and the lives of the rest of his squadron in heightened danger, Poplan’s fear and frustration come out as anger against the officer in charge of maintenance. It’s Konev who intervenes. 

Poplan’s expression and posture soften the moment Konev puts a hand on his shoulder. Just that one instant establishes Konev as a grounding presence and someone Poplan has a deep connection with.

The unguarded fear that flashes in Poplan’s eyes for just a second here gives me chills.

Shit has gotten serious, and Konev’s words don’t soften that reality; but his steady expression and touch quell Poplan’s rage and help him channel his emotions into renewed focus on the battle.

Interestingly, this exchange comes to us entirely courtesy of the anime team. In the novels it’s Schenkopp who pulls Poplan off of the other officer, in a much more abbreviated version of the same scene. (Poplan actually holds a grudge against Schenkopp for stopping him before he could more thoroughly teach the guy a lesson.) The anime writers made a specific choice to change and expand this scene to show us this different side of Poplan and Konev’s dynamic. Of course we’re not here to catalogue all of the slight deviations from the novels; but a change like this suggests to me that Poplan and Konev’s relationship is one they’re particularly interested in developing, so we should be paying attention.

War

This sentiment echoes Yang’s tea speech from episode 6; finding themselves in this battle, his main goal is to find a way for as many people to survive as possible.

Zooming out from Poplan and Konev’s struggles in their little corner of the fight, the overall battle seems to go exactly how Reinhard drew it up and exactly how Yang and some of the other Alliance commanders feared. Yang places himself on damage control duty as much as possible, knowing from the beginning that their whole fleet is at a huge disadvantage especially after Reinhard’s successful strategy to tax their supplies.

During the various scattered battles we get some fun peeks at the different fighting styles of Reinhard’s admirals, for example when Mittermeyer swoops so swiftly into the midst of an Alliance fleet that he actually has to back up a bit before they can effectively fire at the enemy ships...

...While meanwhile Kircheis just stands on the bridge of his extremely red flagship like the badass he is and calmly encourages any Alliance forces that come near to surrender.

After retreating to minimize losses against Kempf’s fleet, Yang finds himself facing Kircheis and outnumbered four to one; avoiding the temptation to surrender, he concocts some sort of plan involving a U-formation and trying to attack Kircheis’s forces from three sides at once, but since he’s ordered away to Amlitzer in the middle of that fight we’ll never know what the outcome of this tactic would have been. 

This gif is interesting for two reasons: one, everyone’s utter shock at Yang admitting out loud that if it weren’t for concern for the other remaining fleets he’d be tempted to surrender; and two, the ridiculous redraws that keep switching back and forth—Yang’s character design, as well as the entire background, change repeatedly in the course of these few seconds. What the hell.

The main point I want to make about this battle is, well, actually how uneventful it is. LoGH is about understanding cause and effect, inevitability, ways of thinking that lead to different outcomes. We’ve known for several episodes that the Alliance went into this invasion underprepared and for the wrong reasons, while Reinhard has carefully taken steps to weaken the Alliance forces and give himself even more of an upper hand. There are no shocking twists here: The invasion is a disaster, as it should have been, and Reinhard’s (and Oberstein’s) strategy is rewarded with a convincing victory.

Right, Bittenfeld, that's...pretty much what I said.

Stray Tidbits

This brief interaction between Reinhard and Oberstein near the end of the episode is a nice microcosm of the dynamic we’ve seen develop in previous episodes: Oberstein being kind of baffled by the concept of Reinhard fretting about one of his admirals more than the others. Hang in there Oberstein, maybe someday you’ll underst—nah, actually, probably not. Reinhard’s “damn you caught me” expression as he tries to claim he was “just checking” is too cute. 

Don’t worry Reinhard! Kircheis just has to gaze at Alliance commanders with those calm blue eyes and they surrender to his every whim, you know that.

If you’re watching on Hidive, I hate to say it but for once I’ve got to score one for the fansubs: As far as I can tell what Yang says here (after Frederica reminds him that Julian has told him to cut down on drinking) is just “so you two have joined forces?” (The verb is 連帯する, rentai suru, “to have solidarity/share responsibility.”) Cute (if a bit weird) as the Hidive version is, it's a definite stretch.

And while we're at it, here's the original laserdisc version, complete with random blue tube in the background.

Hidive subbers, I would read your fanfic but for the official translations let's stick to what they actually say...

Am I a terrible person if this gif just makes me laugh? 

[bobbystompy]

Charles Matthews And Everything After

APRIL 2018

Man, I fuckin’ hated the 2004-05 Illinois basketball team.

I was wrong, but you couldn’t tell me that then. Those dudes played selfless, beautiful basketball. They could kill you in many ways, and they spent the bulk of my college freshman year killing me in all the ways. Maybe it wasn’t even the players... maybe it was just the fans. Shit, we were all 18, 19. That’s, like, when college pride is off the charts and half of what you wear is gear.

When that team lost at the very end, it was like a cleansing rain.

Me, before their title game (4/3/05): “There have been a handful of games in my lifetime where I have wanted a team to win more than ANYTHING. This is an opposite situation...only more. I have never wanted a team to lose this bad in my entire life. I want them to lose more than EVERYTHING.”

Me, after (4/4/05): “Ahhhhh. What a time to be alive.”

Hate is such a false god.

Because what I really believe in is karma, and, eight years later, when my beloved Michigan Wolverines punched their card for the finals... I knew I had to get right with my buddy Dom.

Dominic Bruno is one of thee greatest sports fans I will ever know. He roots for both the Cubs and White Sox with no questions asked. I think he thinks it’s odd when people ask him questions. Of his many loves between pro and college athletics, the Illini are his A1, ride or die squad. That 2004-05 (done with the hyphen, if they come up again, it’s gonna be ‘04) was a generational fucking team. Younguns might not understand this now, but for a little bit, Chris Paul vs. Deron Williams was a legit NBA debate. D-Will’s hair also used to look slightly less weird. But still weird.

Ah, man -- there I go again. I can’t help myself.

Anyway. After U of I lost to UNC in their title game, I put up an away message punning the entire Illinois starting lineup with uncreative names (I’m too embarrassed to quote the whole thing, but let’s just say “Pee Brown” was used for Dee Brown). Dom, who I assume was in his feelings a little bit... did not react well.

“I’m going to come riot in your room.”

I know, I know, you might be thinking that’s not that bad. But Dom is a laid back dude; he lives with love. So to push him to that point with flippant trolling of his golden ticket team? Not my finest hour.

And sure, yes: we were kids, it wasn’t that bad -- but I told you I believe in karma. So when Michigan made it in 2013, I called him. He was unassuming, told me it was cool. I read him what I wrote and what he said in response, and it didn’t shake him. Homie told me he was rooting for Michigan in that doomed game. That’s the kind of class (or weird conference loyalty) he has.

After that, I watched The Timeout. It had been at least a decade since I’d seen the clip.

Sometimes, rappers do this thing where they pull back and talk decades.

Shawn Corey Carter:

N****s wanna bring the 80's back That's okay with me, that's where they made me at

Macklemore:

I grew up during Reaganomics When Ice T was out there on his killing cops shit Or Rodney King was getting beat on And they let off every single officer And Los Angeles went and lost it

I grew up with the ghosts of the Fab Five. The coolest, most star-crossed basketball team to ever do it (or not do it, depending how seriously you take NCAA sanctions). Though their finals loss to UNC -- I mean, like of course -- was a little off-the-radar for my early elementary school self, my sports fandom carried that loss like the baggage it was for everyone who actually earned the scar. For years and years, if you told someone you were a Michigan basketball fan, you got a smug ass “Timeout!!!” from people.

The One Shining Podcast guys use the call as their intro, and it still fucking stings.

But I watched the clip, took it in, and tried to push forward before Michigan took the court against a favored Louisville team.

Then the game started. And then there was Spike.

And then there was Trey and the confetti.

Louisville, of course, would be forced to vacate that title this very year. The parallels have no end.

The Fab Five was there for that L, of course. The four non-Chris Webber guys together in the stands while Chris was up in a box. My fear is he’ll go to the grave with that timeout.

This time around, 2018 has given us a team unlike the ones of the past. I don’t go into this game with (as many) Fab Five haunts as before. Shit, Jalen Rose can’t even make the game (he’s working in New York), so the will-they-won’t-they drama is all but squashed immediately. And though I can’t speak at all on player motivation, you’d have to think redeeming the 2013 loss has to be somewhere in the headspace of at least a few of these players. It’s the same coach, a similar situation (4-seed five years ago, 3-seed now facing a monster 1-seed), and a hungry ass team featuring a pitbull point guard, a Many Faced German center, a sharp shooting sixth man, and a dude whose first name is literally Muhammad-Ali.

And we haven’t even gotten to Charles Matthews.

Charles Matthews is one of those first-and-last name guys. Charles feels too formal. Matthews, too sterile. A year ago, I didn’t know he existed. Now he’s filling GRIII’s shoes like the love interest of a creepy widower who insists she wear the late wife’s clothes. They even both rock the 1.

squint and it’s the same squint and it’s the same

* * *

MARCH 2019

OK, so I got too emotional previewing the Michigan-Villanova title game and actually stopped at that part. It was for the best. The Wolverines got wrecked when a white dude went off -- parallels, parallels, parallels -- and the rest is (Nova) history.

Last night, I watched Charles Matthews play what is 99.99999999999999% going to be his last game for Michigan. God damn, he was just the fucking best. If I had to construct the ideal M player to root for from scratch:

- Cool height, but not too tall, but for sure long... like a Michael Jordan-type 6′6′’ (CHECK)

- Impeccable hairline (CHECK)

- Jersey No. 1 (CHECK)

- Off the charts athleticism (CHECK)

- Dope at defense but doesn’t have to be (CHECK, IS)

- Likes Drake or Jay (YUP)

- Iffy shooter (...CHECK)

- Boring as hell interviews with the occasional unexpected flair (OHHH CHECK)

Yeah, just so sick.

I am sad, so let’s end with a Top 8 Memories Of Charles Matthews.

8) When Gus Johnson excitedly called him “Charlie Matthews” and I thought it might catch on and it definitely did not catch on

7) The Kentucky Transfer: Charles Matthews transferred to Michigan from another school. It got mentioned... a lot. Though it drew the ire of most Michigan fans, I always thought it sounded like a great damn boost.

6) Speaking of... he really could get up

5) Not wanting to get hit with water during locker room celebrations

4) Chi: I watched Michigan play Iowa in the first row of the 100 level at the UC for the 2019 Big Ten Tournament, and they announced Charles Matthews (from Chicago) last, and he got the biggest cheers in the arena/mobbed by his teammates

3) We experienced our successes in different ways

...but the joy never ceased.

2) MS-U MAD BRO?

1) The Minny game winner: Had to... this was his moment.

Oh man, the interview after was so god damn boring, you guys; top notch. Nothing but respect for my nonplussed swingman.

College sports are weird because there is so much brand continuity and tradition yet so much personnel change. It’s hard not to think of the ending of the “Friday Night Lights” movie. Like, you just did the MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER and maybe it didn’t work out or maybe it did but no matter what it’s ON TO THE NEXT THING, LIKE, THE NEXT DAY. Some will go to the league, some will become accountants, but no matter what, the coaches will update the damn depth chart.

I love watching basketball because it makes me feel alive, and players like Charles Matthews make me feel most alive.