#u give me faith in male beauty

[fivemoresunflowers]

it's a sister squad night.

[dreamerlucifer]

LONG STORY SHORT~

THIS BLOG AND MY DICORD SERVER ARE ALL LGBTQ+ SAFE, ALL RELIGIONS, RACES, FAITHS, GENDERS, IF YOURE A SMURF, A FURRY, YOU NAME IT,

if you're 18+ YOU ARE WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!

But if you want to hear what we went through trying to flee the ULTRA RED STATE of TN when they passed Anti Trans laws and revoked my medicaid...

This is who I am ♥

Lucifer VonKult

Always, I mean hey, I'm Trans Male so, its a given ♥ We're literally taking in Trans fold that need to flee the southern states like we had to do. Lived homeless for months, got kickout out of every hotel for sneaking in too many pets, but I refuse to rehome my older best friend, where he could possibly end up in the pound and just be put down immediately. I'd rather get kicked from 700 hotels across the blue states than give up my REAL family, my dogs ♥ and our cats !!!

Thank god IL stayed blue ♥♥♥♥ ;^; we faced tragedy in TN, where I was brought by ambulance for diabetic coma from a sugar drop... The RNs were so kind... until they saw my chart, and that I was trans...

Got beaten so badly by two of them, they broke my tailbone, I had a discord call going where everyone stayed silent and just heard them beat me shitless until I passed out. I called to the Dr., he barely looked at me, and left the room while I pleaded for help...

I thought I was going to die that day...

All because TN passed anti Trans laws, and the people there think that made it open season on LGBTQ+ .... SO DANGEROUS IN RED STATES!!!!!! GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!! I mean we had a beautiful home on an island off a huge lake... But because the ambulances refused to bring me to a different hospital in an emergency after the beating, even with the knowledge that I had been beaten there, Just for being Trans. Their excuse, "The boss said we only drive to THAT hospital, period.""...

well I'll tell you, no lawyer would even take the case for a lawsuit, even with the discord call witnesses, the photos of injuries all over my body... One LGBTQ lawyer cried for me, but they all said the same thing...

"Due to new anti Trans laws in TN, you just can't win, and we can't afford to take on a case that has no ability to win... I am SO, SOOOO Sorry... in almost 40-50% of other states, blue states, It would be an instantly won case, due to all the proof. Just, it will never be winnable here, in TN...We are SO very sorry... But if I were in your position, I'd move to a blue state, before the election!!"

We abandoned our home on the lake and immediately put it up for sale, and fled TN with a few other Trans people in my minivan...

♦We camped~out, thrown out for being "Homeless" even though we paid up front to stay a week.. they gave us 3 days...

♦we used hotels~ Got kicked from EVERY one, right up to the finale closing on the house we picked in IL...

♦Redroof Inn, Springfield, IL~ Took money up front for a two week stay, pets allowed. Then never gave us a key after charging my card over like $1,500.00 !!! I argued to get my money back once we realized the stole the money and weren't going to let us stay. They called 911 and said I was trying to murder the front desk employee, a female employee, when all I dealt with were other men >:U But I had to run, since my license plates were no longer valid, a month late ._.; And my license had been revoked, since I has a traffic violation, doing 40 in a 25 zone school zone, BUT IT WAS 3AM !!!!!!!!!!!!! So I thought the normal speed limit of 40 was fine... I was dead wrong >:[ But since living hotel to hotel is SO EXPENSIVE like 1500 a week plus you need food to make with a microwave alone.....I was supporting myself, my Fiance, another LGBTQ runnaway .. 3 dogs, and 3 cats... In short, I couldn't afford the ticket and the hotel stays at the same time, so my license was revoked ._.;; So as much as I wanted to stay and talk to the police about the theft, I had to run, because the van was all we had to live in while that money for the hotel stays was stolen by redroof..... And get this, I never got my bank to get the money back, because THAT REDROOF INN, IN SPRINGFIELD, IL, the one, FILTHY HOTEL, filled with prostitutes who put magenta mats outside their hotel doors when they're open for business, LIED to my bank card issuer, said that we DID stay there two of the nights, and that my dogs ate the walls beds and all the furniture!!! >:U HOW DARE THEY SAY THAT ABOUT TWO FULLY TRAINED SERVICE DOGS AND ONE FULLY TRAINED ESA !!!!!! I fought so hard for that money, but Redroof insisted they needed all the money and then some in order to have the room rebuilt >:U

Our animals come first, so if we were kicked for having too many animals, we would leave voluntarily and go to a new hotel util they kicked us too...

But, finally, our old house sold, and we bought a home here, in IL ♥ It's been like night and day here!!! TN was just full of bible thumpers who wouldn't take no for an answer just because I despise christianity and especially Catholicism, Since I went to a STRICT, smack you with rulers and yard or meter sticks, or whatever the hell they had at the moment, Roman Catholic School........ Don't get me wrong though, I have plenty of Christian and Catholic friends, but THEY, respect my Satanic Buddhism Choices, so we live in peace ♥ It's the ones that force their religion on you that scare the hell outta me...!!!!!! They're close minded biggots, ready to hurt people who don't agree that their fairytale book is the law of the land. EVEN THOUGH MOST OF THEM ARE UNAWARE OF THE MISTRANSLATIONS of the ORIGINAL text!!!!! It changes the meaning of things greatly when you read some of the recent research on it. But anyway I'm waaaaaaaaaay off topic......

Point is, Red states are Danger Zones for the LGBTQ+ community, especially for the Trans community!!!!! Be careful, get to know your local hospital staff so you can be sure they won't hurt you in an emergency situation!!! Know your local police too!! The sheriff of Spring City, TN spit in my face just because I ran out of gas 6 miles from the nearest gas station... He was happy to announce that the hospital had Violated Hippa, and told the police in town my medical history. He spoke clearly, saying,

"Oohhhhh, I know who YOUUU arrreee... "Disgrace, Demon, This town doesn't need a dumpster fire like YOUU haunting these kind folks, Go back where you came from, you stupid Yankee..." I asked if he would still, even after all that, give me a ride to the gas station....

He turned around without a word, got back in the sherif's car, and left me and my Fiance on the side of the highway .... We're both disabled too... Me, from 9/11 and my massive car accident in the early 2000s, My fiance has such bad asthma that he can die if an emergency inhaler isn't on him at all times... And it was a HOT summer day.

I ended up walking into the middle of the highway with my cane, and trying to stop cars so I could receive a ride 6 miles up the road to the gas station heh...

However, Never thought about the fact that I'm Trans male, and people find it mysterious and kinky sometimes... So Lets just say in exchange for the ride, I had to be felt up ._.; At least they waited for me, and drove me back instead of taking me off and killing me somewhere right? It could've been worse I guess...

Anyway, stay safe, and this is a safe space!!! all my blogs!!!!

@ariel-seagull-wings @the-blue-fairie @thealmightyemprex

[mint-moon25]

Watch "Great Is Thy Faithfulness / Great Is Your Mercy - Donnie McClurkin & CeCe Winans" on YouTube

MON - 08 MAY 23 - HISPANIC

OLD - MALE - SAT - NEXT - TO

ME TOUCHED - MY BUTTOCK

2 - WAKE - ME - UP - 4:19A EDT

WOKE - ME -

'WHY - R U - TOUCHING MY

ASS' - HE - SMOKER - SAID

THOU GH T - TOUCHING -

THIGHS - WANTED -2 - GIVE

ME - FOOD - 'NO' - OFFERED

PLACE - SHOWER - BED AND

TOILET - $25 - PER - DAY

'NO - NO - NO'

HIDDEN - CAMERAS - IN - THE

SHOWER - PER - MIAMI POLICE

LEGAL - INCLUING - TOILETS

PER - FLORIDA - STATUTES -

PRIVATE - BODY - PARTS SEEN

COMMITTED - CRIME - MIAMI

POLICE FEMALE - BLOND WE

HAVE - RIGHT - 2 - PHOTO

YOUR - BODY - VIDEO YES

WITHOUT - CLOTHES FOR

FOREIGNERS - IN - USA - U

WERE - PERMITTED - IN USA

4 - CAPTURE - 4 - HANDCUFFS

4 - MONETORY - FINES - FOR -

UNITED STATES - AGE 245 -

BIBLE - 'FOR - A - THIEF -

COMES - NOT - BUT TO -

STEAL - 2 - KILL - 2 - DESTROY

WW2 - 2 - END - WORLD FIRST

2 - ATOMIC - BOMBS - HITLER

IN - GERMANY - CHRISTIANS

KILLED - 6 MILLION - JEWS

THEIR - KIDS - BABIES

AMERICANS - CONSENT OF

ENGLAND - EXPLODED OVER

200, 000 - JAPANESE - KIDS

BABIES - PREGNANT - GIRLS

2 MILITARY - CITIES

2 BOMBS - JAPAN - AND -

GERMANY - INSTEAD SO -

GERMANY - WHITES NOT -

BOMBED - USA - TODAY -

OLYMPICS - FIFA - BEAUTY -

PAGEANTS - WELL - SPANISH

SPEAKING - CAMERAS IN THE

SHOWERS - WHERE - THEY -

SELL - PHOTOS - NON MISS -

UNIVERSE - BEAUTIES -

$25 - DAILY - $775 - EA -

MONTH - $139 - LEFT -

NO - FOOD - SMARTPHONE -

INTERNET - DATA - BUT - AS -

HOMELESS - $914 - MOST -

MONEY - 30 MIN - 2 - BUY -

AT - PUBLIX - MY - THINGS -

AT LAWN - BRICKELL MALL -

USING - 500 NW 2ND AVE

MIAMI - FL 33101 - 4 - SIM

CARD - PLACE - INSIDE IT

$37.95 - ACTIVATION - $80

MONTHLY - 4G LTE - WHOLE

MONTH - NO - SLOWING YES

DOWN - FREE - NETFLIX - AS

LONG -AS WITH - T - MOBILE

FREE - 1 YR - APPLE TV - BOX

BRITBOX - BRITISH TV - BBC -

ITV - $7.99 - MONTHLY - YES

APPLE - TV - STREAM - BOX

BUY - RENT - FILMS - THUS

HOPE - I'M - APPROVED - IF

NOT - THE UNDERLINE AND

AND BRICKELL CITY CENTRE

THEIR - SLOW - MBPS - TRUE

APPROVED - OR - MOT

ONLY - T-MOBILE CAN

B - YOUR - CARRIER - 4

CHEAPER - THAN - VERIZON

WHOSE - APP - WEBSITE US

CAN"T OPEN LIKE ROBINHOOD

ALWAYS - STEALING - $1 FR ME

BLK - GIRL - WASN'T - GOING 2

REFUND - $240.97 - SO - I SAID

THEN - 6 DAYS - THAT - TOTAL

SHE - SAID - YES - SHE ENDED

CALL - TALKED - 2 - PINOY -

REFUNDED - INVESTIGATION

WE - CAN - REVERSE - AFTER

8 BUSINESS - DAYS TEMPORARY

SAID - U R - NOT - 0% - LIABILITY

MALE PRETENDING - 2 B NINOY

WANTS - REFUND - ON - CHINA

AIRLINES - DIDN'T - ENJOY THE

RIDE - ENTIRELY - REFUNDED 4

THEY - SAY - AFTER - CAN - BE

REVERSED - MEMBERS LIARS

RECALL - LEHIGH ACRES - FL

TAXI - RIDE - OVER - 3 HOURS

BLK - MALE - HISPANIC - TOO

CHANGE - LOCATION - $25 EA

TIME - FEE - 53.com - SAID -

LEGAL - EVEN - BOUGHT -

HIM - FOOD - HE WAS YES -

HUNGRY - WASN'T - GOING -

2 - BRING ME - ANYWHERE -

BUT - HIS - HOUSE - THERE -

SOCIAL - PERSON - GULF -

COAST - HOSPITAL AFTER -

NEEDLES - PUT IN ME SHE -

GAVE - FREE - TAXI - 2 BLK -

COUPLE's - CHURCH - THE -

FLOOR - 2 - SLEEP - ON - & -

AIR CONDITIONER - TAKEN -

AS - PUNISHMENT - SOCKETS

DON'T - WORK - MY - 3AA YES

LIGHTS - MY LIGHT MENTALS

EXPIRED - FOODS - ID CHECK

NO - UBER - OR - LYFT - FORT

MYERS - UBER - JUST - TOOK

MY - MONEY - WITH - TIP AND

BLUEBIRD - WAS - DUMPING

ME ANYWHERE ON CAMPUS

MISSING - FLIX BUS - THUS

92 DEAD - IAN - THAT CITY

AFTER - HER - MAJESTY

OLD - HISPANIC TOUCHED

MY - BUTTOCKS - 2 WAKE

ME - $25 - DAILY - SHOWER

$139 - LEFT - 4 - FOOD OLD

MAN - U R - NOT - DISABLED

WHY - SSI - WHEN - THEY FL

SELL - SHOWER - NAKED -

PHOTOS MARY BRICKELL -

VILLAGE - NOT ALL - GAY -

THIS - USA - AS - FOREUGNERS

WE - CAN - DEFEAT - 4 - WE YES

ALLOWED - THEIR - PERVERSE

NEED - 2 - VIDEO - NUDITY YES

ALLOWED - HANDCUFFS MORE

NEW - LAWS - 50 STATES - ALL

CONCEALED CARRY FIREARMS

MORE - UNITED - THAN -

50 STATES - 50 GUESSING - OF

LAWS - MORE - A - NATION YES

LIKE - 50 COUNTRIES -

ATTACKED - 4:15A EDT -

HISPANICS BLKS - AWAKE

4A - 5A - ATTACK HOURS

PEPPER - GEL - IS - BEST

PEPPER - GUN - FIRE - AT

WILL - CAN'T SEE - 15 MIN

30 MIN - AMAZON - HUB -

LOCKER OVER - $57 AND -

GEL - $9.99 - HAVE - FUN

[hillarysss]

~random astro shitpost~(sidereal & tropical included)

this is for entertainment. take everything for a grain of salt. any actions taken by this is not my fault. This will not generalize for everyone. 

written by me ~hillary

virgo sun males are unfaithful

sag moons + gemini moons= either best f*cking combo or absolutely horrible

mercury in scorpios are so sneaky you can’t lie to them they’ll always find out

mercury in gemini are the type of friend to help u get out of situations u probably got yourself in. these people are so smart and got so many tricks up their sleeve. street smart!

Aries moons like running sports

a pisces rising can lie and not feel guilty about it 

sun in 8th can feel like an old soul

a virgo man in love (if there is anyway theyre faithful) will judge other options and how their current partner is so much better

someones sun on your venus will make them super obsessed with how look and will worship the idea of how beautiful you are. will most likely not leave you for somebody else because of physical looks

Leo Sun Males are the type to be loyal ass friends and check up on you every now and then.

taurus moons+ scorpio moons= elite asf or straight up trash and toxic

libra moons can get along with anybody

rahu in 1st are the type to hack accounts and pretends thats their life

Ketu in Leo are so insecure and care sm abt physical looks

Virgo Men are agaisnt astrology (personal experience). But if they like it they tend to take a lead on it and share their wisdowm

virgo women love astrology because they like self reflecting. :-)

if a libra sun gives up on u then you did some shit cuz damn

libra suns dont know their worth

moon-neptune like to be in motion and listen to music and image fake scenarios that they know isnt gonna happen. also might like the rain a lot or very cozy place.

jupiter- uranus 

weird experiences out the country you live in. probably when u come home to ur family or friends or whatever you have some shit to say

moon in scorpio men (vedically) have long noses..

moon in 1st vedically may have blue eyes (also could go for tropical placement) 

venus in cancer men loves big boobs. literally love big boobs. however they adapt to any women they’re dating and love their figure. it seems they love big breast tho. may like women on the ligther side. they love curvier women and some chub in the belly. they dont like unrealistic standards.

venus in gemini men & women will ghost u and say they love you and then ghost you again

aries risings have nice eyebrows

cancer rising women have such beautiful bodies

strong lillith in chart might indicate exposed to nudity and sexual things early in age

venus in 6th makes u obsessed with smelling good and candles

vedic is better for life predictions

air moon and water rising are prone to bad mood swings

cancer mars are scary and will scar u with their words

mars in virgo are so sexual

virgo is literally the most horniest sign

sag moons will persue u first then cheat on you

mercury in leo makes somebody not say much of what they think and when they do say something it makes the other person wonder their whole life

people who lack an element will attract that element. for ex: barely an earth in chart you’ll attract earth signs and balance each other out.

earth mars and water mars are good together

someones mars being your venus is such good combo for love 

virgos like to stay up so late

pisces placements have scary vivid dreams

jupiter in 10th makes u want fame and travel in order to earn it

aries sun males are so fun

sag women if underdeveloped can be so bitchy and ignorant & insecure

sag placements tend to be popular

mercury in retrograde might suffer some form of a different thought process mind like adhd or somebody who doesn’t know how to express their feelings well

virgos ghost in order to make a decision

libra first decan are beautiful

taurus venus are so sensual

aries venus are so loyal and great parents

taurus women make good parents

gemini venuses are SUCH Good friends

cancer placements in big three dont watch a lot of pornography

pisces placements like astrology cuz they dont know who they are

pisces observe information without any additional thinking

[silviakundera]

Rewatch of Story of Yanxi Palace, episode 36/37 notes

This arc, with empress in the coma and 2nd male lead's marriage and her waking is just... chef's kiss !!! Perfection!

The main characters all have clearly defined emotional drivers and motivations, with clashing objectives and "bottom lines".

Everyone is a MESS right now and with their queen awake, the emperor and Wei Yingluo are back to what they do best: ratcheting up the stakes of their battle of wits & will.

Is the emperor a terrible love interest? Obviously YES. He's an emperor: he's been raised to consider himself a quasi diety and destined ruler of the world. The man has an avalanche of baggage. And he is unwilling to admit he even IS a love interest until now.

(empress: have u considered u guys get absolutely chaotically insane around each other cause u want to bang?? maybe??? I AM HUNDREDS OF YEARS BEFORE THERAPISTS, I AM TRYING MY BEST. WHY IS THIS MY JOB? HONESTLY.)

Emperor: ... ha ha ha I am laughing because this is funny to me and not at all spot-on. So ridiculous. Me? And my servant rival? That's ,,

Empress: How about u let my brother marry her, since we can't exactly--

Emperor: NO!! no, that.... Why? Because reasons.)

The opening of episode 37, where emperor finally stops repressing and admits that he is hot for his wife's faithful gremlin knight. And so naturally reacts to that vulnerability by tenderly hovering over her unconscious form and then aggressively fucking w her as they back & forth play absolute mind games on each other AND ITS SO SO BEAUTIFUL. 😭😭 Just toying with each other and pushing buttons. I do believe Wei Yingluo both respects him yet resents him, maybe even hates him a little. But I refuse to believe she doesn't get a rush out of going toe to toe with someone who can meet her head-on. I think she definitely doesn't want to enter his harem at this point, but part of her is hot for him. As much as a servant CAN have an emperor for a frenemy, that's basically their vibe in the 20-30's episode chain.

Their dynamic is so fascinating, because there's this massive power imbalence and yet when they really go for it and metaphorically duel each other, it never really feels for me like Wei Yingluo is outmatched.

Now, part of the reason for this is that, for instance in their showdown in ep 36, the emperor isn't just walking her off the plank (like he'd treat most anyone else). He gives her 2 paths to walk: give up your honor (by lying about her motivations in "seducing" the empress's brother) or perform a snowy death march. And once she has proved herself just as ludicrously stubborn, brave, and prideful as he is himself - when she once again will not break, will give up anything but herself - HE is the one who buckles. Who can't see the choice through? Not her. She always can and will go ride or die for her choices. He is the one who pulls back and again and again when they play chicken. BECAUSE of the power imbalance. Because when the imbalence is that wide, the only end is death. And even early on, he respects her as... an adversary? a foil? a kindred spirit, in a round about fashion? So at the last moment he has to be the one to yank back on the wheel and stop the collision. Because he is the one w the power, it often means it's on him to stop them when they have taken the game too far.

And so again in ep 37, she is the one who ultimately gets what she wants: not to be his concubine and go back to her empress. I don't believe he truly buys what she's selling (ooooh your majesty, I've been plotting for your favor for so looooong) - it's that he tries to push & push and she meets every turn w her own response. She shows him how she's going to play it and makes clear that she's unwilling (without ever saying she's unwilling) (showing how unwilling she is by making fake cloying displays of being willing). And he backs down, plays it off so they can both exit gracefully and return to battle another day.

Of course, the reason why he's an absolute bastard is he wouldn't respect her half as much if she ever took the easy way out.

and then the desperation, the delirious joy when she gets to see her empress again !!! ❤❤❤ who is self-sacrificingly turning her away !! THE ANGST. THE TEARS. THE KNEELING EMBRACE. And when the empress is despairing, Wei Yingluo is the one who bring up (who has been noticing!) how often the emperor has been secretly checking up on their empress gf but fleeing before speaking. gaaaawd these 3 are the worst, I hate (i love them)

(whyyyu can't she liiiiiiiive so I can have fun ot3 times w later wei yingluo harem hijinks. TOO CRUEL.)

[saiyanprincessswanie]

Mine - Part 1

Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers x Female Reader

Word Count: 5,425

Series Warning: NON/DUB CON, Swearing, Angst, Possessive Behavior, Jealousy, kidnapping, Male Masturbation, Somnophilia, Drugging, Light Bondage, Physical Fighting, Rough Sex, Choking, Female and Male Oral, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms, Forced Orgasms and Stockholm Syndrome.

Please READ the Warnings!! These will be touched on throughout the series.

Summary: Steve didn’t mean to fall in love with you, his teammate, his friend. When Tony’s program shows that you are compatible in more ways then one Steve decides he wants out of the Avengers and is taking you with him.

What happens when he wants something more and you aren’t willing to take that leap of faith? Steve wants what is best for you and he will make sure that you have the life you deserve no matter the cost.

A/N: This story will be in the same Universe as Made For Me which features a dark!Bucky. This WILL tie into that story at times and will answer questions that people have been asking me.

I want to thank @music-culture-mythology, @hurricanerin and @jtargaryen18 for helping me, beta reading and letting me vent about this story. I have never written a dark!Steve so I was a little hard on myself. Thank you for supporting me.

Thank you @fictional-affairs for the BEAUTIFUL mood board! I love it!!

Reblogs & Comments on Tumblr are welcomed and encouraged. 😊💜

I do NOT give my consent to have my work translated or reposted on any social media platform, apps or third party sites. If you see my work anywhere else besides my personal Tumblr & AO3 accounts then it has been stolen. I will NEVER give written or verbal permission to repost or translate any of my fanfics as they’re MY intellectual property. 🚫🚫

From an early age, you had learned that life could be cruel and unforgiving. You could remember quite clearly the sound of your mother’s shrieks coming from downstairs. She had come running into your bedroom and had ushered you into the closet with the order to stay quiet and to not come out for any reason. That was the last time that you had seen her alive.

You could still remember the sound of her begging for mercy. Clutching your stuffed bunny to your chest, you had shut your eyes as her screaming turned into a deafening silence. 

You weren’t sure how long you were in the closet as time had stood still. The door to the closet was wrenched open and there before you stood a police officer. Scooping you up into his arms, the officer had tried to shield you from the bloody scene that had coated your room. 

Glancing over his shoulder, you had seen red everywhere and your mom’s lifeless body had been there on your bedroom floor. The officer had made his way down the stairs, still trying to shield you. Peeking once more over his shoulder, you saw two men in suits standing over your father who was on the floor, not moving. 

Everything after that had become a blur as you were whisked away. You had to wait at the police station for your aunt to come get you. You hadn’t understood then what had unfolded. It was only when you were older that you learned the truth: Hydra had slaughtered your family because your father had refused to work for them. 

Your father was a brilliant scientist. He had been close to replicating the super-soldier serum, but had discovered Hydra’s true intentions. So he fled with your mother, who was pregnant with you, to the countryside in hopes of never being found. Five years had gone by and Hydra was on its way to unleash its hellish wrath. 

Knowing that Hydra was coming for him, your father injected you with the serum prototype. He felt in order to save you and to keep his work safe this was the only logical way as Hydra didn’t know you existed and therefore wouldn’t know to look for you. 

As you got older you realized you had enhanced strength, speed and healing abilities. Not understanding fully what was going on, you had sought out the Avengers and that’s how you ended up at the Avenger’s Compound with them. 

Sipping your coffee at the island in the communal kitchen, you zoned out as your mind replayed that day in your head. You didn’t hear your name being called as you sat there, staring into oblivion. A hand touched your shoulder and you nearly dropped your cup.

“Y/n, you okay? I was talking to you, but you seemed lost in thought.” Natasha questioned, concern present in her tone. She took the seat next to you and set her cup down on the island.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just thinking about… stuff. What were you saying again?” Trying to play off what happened, you chuckled but it sounded weak even to your own ears.

The redhead raised an eyebrow at you and continued. “I was saying that we need to go over the details for the mission tomorrow. I want to make sure you are comfortable with everything before we head out.”

“We can go over everything this afternoon.” Getting up from your chair you offered her a smile. “Right now I have to get to the gym before I get another lecture from Steve about being tardy.”

Downing the rest of your coffee, you placed the cup in the sink and ran towards the gym. Steve Rogers was a great friend and Captain to follow into battle, but he was a massive pain in your ass when it came to training. 

You always ran a few minutes late. It wasn’t like you planned it that way, you just got sidetracked. Every time you showed up late, you got a lecture, followed by him working you hard in training. He called it tough love, you called it cruel and unusual punishment. 

The gym door flew open and you came running through like a madwoman. You skidded to a stop in front of him and bent over, gasping for air. Sure enough, Steve was standing there with his arms folded. “You’re late.”

Looking up at the clock, you let out a groan. “It’s only one minute, Steve.”

“One minute could be the difference between life and death. How many times do I have to tell you this?” He stood with a frown on his face, staring you down.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him. 

Steve was not amused by your attitude. “Rolling your eyes just added another 10 minutes to your training. Now, if you are done acting like a child, let's get to work.”

Knowing better than to sass him back this early into the training session, you huffed and made your way to the middle of the gym to prepare for hand-to-hand combat. 

Your mind started to wander as you went through your stretches. What would Steve do if you sassed him in private? The thought alone frightened you considering how rough he was in training.

God, get it together! Stop thinking of him like that.

“So, you got back to the compound late.” Steve knew he sounded like a jerk as soon as the words left his mouth but he just couldn't get over his distaste for how you've been spending your time recently. 

“Is that jealousy I hear in your voice, Cap?” You couldn’t hide the smirk as you glanced at him.

“Not jealousy, just hoping you can keep up with me is all. Yesterday you were dragging and I need your best performance.” Steve hoped that would sound convincing. Of course, he was jealous that you went out with that creep of a boyfriend.

“Don’t worry, I’m ready and in tip-top shape. Who knows, maybe I can take you down today. Wouldn’t that be a sight?” You goaded him.

Steve stopped his stretches to look at you. “What are we playing for?” 

You straightened and placed a hand on your hip. “Well if I win, then I can show up late for the next two weeks and you can’t give me a lecture.” 

Steve couldn’t help the chuckle that left him. He knew that you would go for that. “I will agree to one week if you can pin me. As for me, I want to be able to spend time with you again. Like before you started to date that dunce.” 

Now, it was your turn to laugh. “He is not a dunce.”

Steve quirked his eyebrow at you, not looking amused.

“Okay, maybe he is sometimes. But, yes, fine I’m all yours if you do. Just know I’m not holding back.” You got into your fighting stance.

Steve lowered into his and smiled, “Neither am I, doll.” 

Tony was working in his lab, trying to put the final touches on the drugs he had made for Barnes. So far, everything was coming back positive and there were no complaints but he wanted to double-check. 

The drug to improve a woman's fertility and neutralize the effects of her birth control within a couple of days was working perfectly. The money-maker drug though, Tony smirked as he thought about it. Once the shot was administered, it would make a woman want, no, beg for sex. She would be so wet and wanting that she would be unable to control herself. The drug would allow anyone to keep up with the super soldier's appetite in bed.

He never knew he would be in the business of making such a thing but Thanos changed everything. Lives were altered, people changed emotionally, they developed the need to control their lives, their future.

The Avengers were tired. Most wanted to settle down and retire. Tony felt he owed it to his friends to help them as they had helped him in the last stand against Thanos. The hard part was finding the right one to fulfill their desires, hopes, and dreams. 

Steve wanted to connect with a woman on an emotional and intellectual level. He needed someone who understood his life and what he had been through. He also wanted someone to sate his lustful appetite. Steve was selective on what he wanted because he wanted a modern Peggy. 

He could see how the battle and the aftermath had worn on Steve. When Steve had insisted on returning the stones to their proper time, Tony had thought he would never see his friend again. But, Steve did return to the present time. Peggy had wanted him to settle down in his own timeline.

God, Peggy Carter. Tony rolled his eyes. According to Steve, she was assertive, independent, strong-willed, and caring. Peggy marched to the tune of her own drum and never let men push her around. 

Unfortunately, that was the reason the process was taking so long. There just was no one out there like Peggy Carter.

A beeping to his left caught his attention. Walking over to it, he typed in a few keystrokes and the readout flashed on the screen.

100% Match

Tony couldn't believe his eyes. It had taken longer to find a match for Steve then Bucky, but he finally did it. Who would have thought it would be their very own Y/n? Tony grinned; this could work.

Heading back to where the drugs were almost done synthesizing, he sighed. Tony was going to hate to see you leave, but this was for the best. There was only one problem: you had a boyfriend.

The mission would be the perfect window to see his two friends disappear. Tony would give the news to Steve before he headed out to meet Barnes at his cabin. 

Training went exactly how you expected it would. Steve pushed you hard through sparing but you could handle it. With every strike you dodged, a kick would follow. Back and forth you parried and punched. 

You were quick in your maneuvers against Steve but he was always a little bit faster than you. Spinning on your heel you threw a right hook and he blocked it with ease. Steve was the only one you could go toe-to-toe with due to your enhanced abilities. Huffing out in annoyance, you did a few backflips to get away and observed him. All you needed was an opening and you were sure you could take him down. 

The door to the gym opened and you caught Steve glancing away for a split second. That was all the opening you needed as you swept his legs out from under him. Steve landed on his back and you were on him instantly, straddling his hips.

“Looks like I won, Cap,” you panted from above him. Finally, you could say you got one over on h-.

Steve quickly reversed your positions and slammed you down, knocking the air out of you. 

How the hell did he do that? 

“Had enough, doll?” Steve smiled smugly. He watched as you gasped for air underneath him. 

“Am I interrupting anything?” Tony called out. 

Steve quickly stood up and reached down to help you up. Taking his hand, you got off the ground. “Jesus Steve, next time don’t be so rough.”

“Sorry about that, I got caught up in the moment. We are done for the day. Next time, just be on time.” Steve watched as you started to walk away from him. 

Spinning on your heel you smirked at him. “Show up at five after, sure thing, Cap.” Before he could say another word, you bolted out of the gym, leaving the guys behind.

Tony was chuckling, “You know if you didn’t nag her daily, I’m sure she would be early every day.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “Give her an inch, and she will take a mile. Is there something I can help you with, Tony?”

Tony turned around to make sure no one was in the gym with them. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. soundproof this room until I say otherwise.”

“Yes, boss, protocol is now engaged,” the AI’s voice rang out.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Steve watched Tony cautiously. Something was up.

“I found your match. F.R.I.D.A.Y has been running tests nonstop, and I finally got a hit.” 

Steve’s eyes widened. They had talked about this for so long. When Bucky got a hit on a reproductive match with a woman that worked for Tony, he had acted happy for his best friend. In reality, it had made him depressed. Tony had been running genetics tests longer for him and could not find him a match. 

“What changed? Who is it?” Steve was desperate to know who she was.

Tony pulled his phone out and tapped a few buttons, causing a hologram picture of you to appear in front of Steve.

Steve looked at your smiling picture. “You have got to be kidding me…” Next to your picture, he saw the 100% match.

“Not kidding you pal. I double-, then triple-checked it. Y/n is your match. She had her physical a few days ago and had to do the standard blood work. Bruce ran a genetics test so we could have it on file.” Tony watched as his friend took in all the information that was just thrown at him. 

Steve couldn’t believe it. You were right under their noses all along. “When…I want out of the Avengers as soon as possible.” 

Tony smiled, “Tomorrow, the mission can always go sideways.” Tapping his phone, the hologram disappeared. 

“Soundproof disengaged.” The AI rang out again.

Steve watched as Tony left him in the gym. He could feel himself grow hard at the thought of finally having you. Steve’s perception of y/n's habit of lateness just changed from something he saw as annoying to something he could see himself punishing her for. Her sass would give him a reason to fuck it out of her.

He headed to his room to shower. So many emotions swam through his head as he made his way through the hallways. You both harmlessly flirted, but he brushed it off as you had a boyfriend. Maybe this was fate finally rewarding him with someone he was already attracted to.

But… That stupid, smug boyfriend of yours. Steve had heard the fights and wiped your tears away when the bastard broke up with you. But, by the next day, the asshole would be begging for your forgiveness and, just like that, you would take him back. 

Reaching his room, he walked in and turned the lock on his door. “F.R.I.D.A.Y, don't let anyone into my room while I’m in the shower.” 

Stripping off his clothes, he walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. To think he had just pinned you to the floor beneath him minutes earlier...

You had looked helpless as you gazed up into his eyes. Stepping into the shower, he was hard and wanting. He stood under the water and ran his hand over his length. 

Steve pictured you naked on his bed, waiting for him. Crawling slowly up your body, he would kiss every inch of you as you whispered his name. Up and down, he stroked. A gasp left his mouth.

He would spread your legs and settle between them. Slowly he would push into your wet slit, causing you both to groan out. Looking into your eyes, he would brace himself above you and take you apart. 

Slow, easy strokes at first as you whimpered for more. Every now and then, he would add a sharp thrust, making you moan.

“Harder Steve, I want it harder,” you would beg him, and he would oblige. 

His hand tightened around his cock, and he started to stroke himself faster. He could see you coming undone as he pounded into you. So close, he was so close to cumming. 

“Oh my god…..ah, ah, Steve!” 

Firmer, faster….

A few hard thrusts had you both falling off the edge as you shouted each other’s names. Opening his eyes, your image faded away and he was met by the tile in the shower. 

Steve rested his head against the shower wall as the water washed away his dirty secret. He couldn’t help but smile. Soon enough she will be mine. 

You were curled up next to Chris as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear. His hand was softly caressing your thigh as he slowly pushed it into your shorts, lightly rubbing his fingers over your clothed pussy. 

A light gasp left your lips, “Chris stop, not here. Someone could walk in.” 

Chris was nibbling on your neck, “Shhh, just stay quiet baby. No one will suspect a thing once I slip my fingers….” 

Steve cleared his throat, causing you both to quickly separate.

You both turned your heads and saw Steve standing there with his arms crossed. He glared at you in disgust. “You know the rules, no funny business in the communal living quarters. No one wants to see that.”

You and Chris chuckled, “Steve, we weren't doing anything bad.” You watched him as he made his way to the refrigerator. 

“Not the point doll. It’s a respect thing, remember?” Steve huffed out in annoyance.

Chris couldn’t help but laugh at what Steve said. His head fell back and he clutched his chest as he snickered. “Chill Cap, it’s not the 1940’s anymore…” He continued to laugh and you knew what was coming next. 

Steve stormed over to you both and stood in front of Chris. “First off, it’s not “Cap.” Call me Steve or Captain Rogers. “Cap” is designated for friends, and last I checked, we are not friends. Secondly, show some respect. This is the Avengers’ home and we have rules. If you can’t follow them then get out.” 

You watched in horror as Chris got off the couch and stood toe-to-toe with Steve. “Wow, look at you. The big, bad Captain America has got his panties in a twist.” Leaning so only Steve could hear him, he whispered, “What’s wrong Cap? You don’t like that my hands were in her pants? Whether I fuck her here or in her bedroom, she will be screaming my name, not yours.”

Steve had had enough and brought his fist down on Chris' face, breaking his nose and who knows what else.

“Jesus, Steve!” You flew off the couch and put yourself between them. Looking to Chris first, you tried to calm him down and get a closer look at his nose. 

Chris shoved you back into Steve. “You are going to pay for this dearly Rogers. I will get a lawyer and sue you for everything.” He glared at you next, “You are just as bad as he is, always leading me on when the golden boy is about to walk into the room.”

Your face felt hot, whether from embarrassment or anger though, you weren't quite sure. “Chris, you need to leave. I will call down to our medical ward to fix you, but you have to go.”

“Siding with him, classic Y/n. Open your eyes, your friend Steve has been itching to get into your pants for the entirety of our relationship.” 

Your eyes widened, “What? That is absurd. Steve doesn’t want me like that, we are just friends.”

Turning to look at Steve, you watched as he stared Chris down with his dark blue eyes that screamed murder. 

Steve doesn’t like me, does he?

Turning back to Chris, “Let’s get you to the elevator. The health ward is on…”

Pulling away from you, Chris walked to the elevator, “I know what floor it’s on. This isn’t the first time this has happened.” The elevator doors opened and he walked inside. Holding the door open he looked to Steve, then you. “Choose. It’s me or him. I’m not doing this anymore.” 

The doors closed and you could feel the tears drip down your face. Chris wasn’t perfect, but you cared about him, right?

You felt Steve put a hand on your shoulder to comfort you but you pulled away. “Please don’t, Steve.”

“Doll, I…,” before he could finish, you ran towards your room, leaving him standing in front of the elevators. 

Downing another shot of rum in your room, your mind went a mile-a-minute. You were humiliated, angry, and confused by Chris’ ultimatum of either him or Steve. Steve was not only your friend, but your teammate. He had your back in battle and in life. Yes, you had been with Chris on-and-off for a year, but it didn’t mean anything. Did it? Pouring yourself another shot, you tossed it back quickly. This is why you hated dating, there were always ultimatums. 

Hell, you knew this was an easy choice. The team came first in your mind. The Avengers gave you a sense of comfort that you had never had before in your life. Chris was a distraction, at best. He cheated, lied and was only good for a quick roll around in the sheets. You cared about Chris, but there was no way you loved him, if you were being honest with yourself. 

Love, now that was a word that terrified you to your core. Four letters, one word, and a huge meaning that you couldn’t quite wrap your head around. The last time you loved someone, your parents, they were taken away from you. No, love was a cruel joke. 

Shaking the negativity away from your mind, you thought back to what Chris had said. ‘He has been itching to get into your pants for at least the last year we have been together.’ 

You would be lying to yourself if you said you had never thought about Steve during your sexcapades. Anytime Chris took you from behind, you closed your eyes and thought about Steve. What would he be like? No, damn it, Steve is your friend. Your Captain! 

A knock sounded on your door, and in walked Nat. “Y/n, are you ready to go over your mission?” As soon as she saw the rum bottle sitting on an end table, she knew something was up. She watched you pour another shot and down it. “I think you have had enough.” She grabbed the bottle from you and walked it over to your small kitchen area, placing it on the counter.

She walked back to you and sat down. “Want to talk about it?”

“Nope. Can you leave me to drink my sorrows away?” You sarcastically replied.

She smiled at that and looked at you, “Nope.”

Sighing, you knew you had to talk or she wouldn't leave you alone. So, you told her what had happened between Steve and Chris, the ultimatum you were given, and how you hated all men. Nat was a great listener, and one of your closest friends. 

After you vented your frustration she made you realize that Chris really was an asshole, and you could do so much better. She suggested a break while you focused on the mission at hand.

A break did seem like a good idea. Maybe after the mission was over you could re-evaluate your life. 

Nat grabbed you a glass of water to sober you up. "Now, why don't we go over the details for the mission?" You both spent the rest of the evening going over your mission for tomorrow. 

The mission was simple: you and Steve were to head out to do recon on a suspected Hydra hideout where weapons might be housed.

If all went well, you both would be back at the compound in thirty-six hours. Halfway through your surveillance though, something went wrong. Hydra had gotten word that Captain America was in the area. 

As soon as Steve was spotted, your cover was blown. Currently, you were fighting your way through Hydra agents. You always enjoyed a good hand-to-hand fight. You were quicker and stronger because of the serum. 

You were fighting two guys currently as you were separated from Steve. Glancing over your shoulder, the guy behind you made his move. Pivoting on your heel, you dodged his strike just as the other agent went to hit you with a stun baton. 

A scream tore through your throat as the electricity hit you. As he pulled back you swayed for a moment. When he lunged forward again, you grabbed his arm and broke it. Grabbing the baton you zapped him until he passed out. 

The second agent cocked his gun and had it aimed at your head. “Drop that weapon, girl, or I will have your brains scattered across the…”

Before he could finish, you watched the shield knock the agent out and soar behind you to its owner. 

You turned around and there stood Steve, shield in hand. “Are you okay y/n? I heard you scream out and I got here as soon as I could.”

Smiling weakly you nodded, “Yeah, the jackass zapped me. Hurt just a bit.” You swayed and Steve was at your side in two strides. 

“Here, let me help you.” Steve placed the shield onto his back and wrapped his arm around you. 

“I’m okay Cap, seriously I don’t need…”

Steve cut you off, “Damn it y/n, just for once let me take care of you.” 

You closed your mouth and nodded. Steve scooped you up in his arms and carried you back to the Quinjet in silence.

After a few minutes, Steve finally made it to the Quinjet and carried you up the ramp, going to the bed inside. Placing you down, he started to look you over for injuries. His hands pressed on your ribs and you hissed out in pain. Lifting your shirt, Steve could see the bruising that covered your right side.

“I should have been there for you,” Steve mumbled as he turned away from you. He didn’t get far as you grabbed his wrist.

“Steve, I’m an Avenger too, and whether you want to hear this or not, I can take care of myself.” You could see Steve was about to say something, but you yanked his arm again. “Let me finish. I do thank you though for saving me when you did. You always have my back when I need it most.” Your eyes stared into his deep blue ones and you gently squeezed his wrist.

“That’s my job, I’m supposed to take care of you. So now, let me finish, okay?” 

You nodded as you watched him get the first aid kit. He had you take your top off, leaving you in a bra. Slowly he wrapped an ACE Bandage around your rib cage. When he was finished, he grabbed a syringe filled with a green solution. 

“What’s that for, Steve?” You watched as he pulled the cap off the needle and flicked the syringe twice.

“This is going to help with the pain and let you get some rest while we head home.” Lightly grabbing your arm, he pressed it into you. Pulling it out, he placed the cap back on it and started putting the kit away.

You instantly started to feel drowsy from the injection. The pain thankfully was almost gone as your eyes kept fighting to stay open. Through hazy eyes, you watched as Steve helped you lay down. “It’s okay doll, just close your eyes. I will take good care of you once we get home.” 

That was the last thing you heard before you drifted off into sleep.

When Steve said he was bringing you home, he meant it. But it wasn’t to the tower, no, this is where you both would grow old together. He carried you into the country-style home that sat in the middle of nowhere. No neighbors, no distractions. Just you, him and the future that you would build together. 

He carried your sleeping form up the stairs to the master bedroom and placed you on the king-sized bed. Watching your chest rise and fall, he smiled. You were absolutely beautiful as you slept. 

Steve started to gently remove your clothes as you laid there motionless. You still had your eyes closed and seemed pretty out of it still but Steve carried on. 

You didn’t move much as he got you down to your underwear, but anytime he would softly run a hand against you, a light moan left your lips. Steve felt himself grow hard in his pants. He wanted you so badly, but could he take advantage of you in your current state?

Toeing the line of what was right and what he wanted, he decided there was no turning back. He stripped out of clothes quickly, leaving him naked before you. His mind was made up.

He crawled onto the bed and took your bra off. God, your breasts were beautiful. He ran his hands over each breast and slowly made his way down to your panties. Running his hand over them, he let out the breath he had been holding. 

The lace on them was soft and the blue color made him grin. It was like you had worn them just for him. He grabbed the sides of them, slowly pulling them down your legs. When they were off, he swore he was going to cum right then just by looking at your naked form.

Parting your legs, he ran a finger over your slit and felt how wet you were. The drug was doing exactly what Tony promised. He wished you were awake so your first time was perfect, but this would have to do for now.

He climbed between your legs and leaned over you. Gently he placed kisses on your lips, cheeks and down your throat. Grabbing his hard cock, he rubbed it against your slick folds. Steve let out a groan from the feeling.

Placing himself at your entrance, he slowly started to push into your tight channel. “Oh god,” Steve breathed out as he kept going until he bottomed out. He couldn’t believe how tight you felt around him. 

Steve rested on his arms and took a few breaths to stop himself from cumming too soon. Once he got himself under control, he pulled out to his tip and pushed back in. God, you felt so good to him. When he thrusted into you again, he heard you let out a small moan.

Fascinated by this he did it again and again. Picking up his pace had you groaning out in pleasure. On a particular hard snap of his hips, he heard something he didn’t expect. “Steve”…

You had moaned his name and it was music to his ears. Grabbing your legs, he pulled them up to his hips and started to go harder into you. Every hard thrust had you moaning or sighing his name.

This is what he had always wanted, from the day he first met you. There was no doubt in his mind that you were his. In his head, he chanted mine, mine, mine, with every push and pull. He wasn’t going to last long.

Doubling his efforts, he went faster and harder into you. Reaching down between you both, he found your pearl and started to rub tight circles around it. 

Your moans grew louder, “Steve, ah, ah, St-Steve!”

He felt you clench around him, signaling your orgasm. “Shit.” Steve knew he wasn’t going to last long. A few more hard thrusts had him spilling inside you as he shouted your name. Looking down at your flushed face made him smile. 

Slowly he pulled out of you and he watched his seed spill out. He went to the bathroom to clean himself up and he came back with a wet towel for you. Once he was done, he slipped your underwear on and pulled the covers over you. 

When you woke completely, he would have a lot to explain. You wouldn’t like what he pulled, but it was for your own good. You would learn that he knew best and would take care of you. For now, he climbed under the covers and wrapped his arm around your waist. 

[pinkispoggers]

Long Nights

By me 🥰

Pairing: Maul x Reader

Prompt: you have snuck into the quarters of savage opress and darth maul, and boy are you in trouble

Warnings: smut, cockwarming, alot of pet names, dirty memories, teasing, language

AN: this is my first fanfic so ofc its terrible :) (I wrote the whole thing on Samsung notes so its pretty ass)

• Ever since the two sith found you you were practically welcomed to the team

• the turtle tanker was like your new home

• it was really nice because it was built sorta like your old apartment on corascaunt

• but larger

• wayyyy larger

• 1 kitchen-like area, which meant you didn't need to go out as often to get food

• because it could possibly endanger the brothers identitys

• they could possibly get caught

• but you have faith that they will get out of that anyway

• 2 quarters (one for you and shared quarters for the brothers)

• 1 large refresher with 2 showers

• and one room for gatherings like sitting to eat your breakfast in the morning

• and you loved your life like this

~~~~~~~

• you, being the curious type have always wondered how the men keep their quarters

• you don't exactly know why, but you were itching to find out

• usually the brothers are away at night, maul usually leaving first, then savage

• you think its odd.

• are they on separate missions?

• well who knows

• but its usually late at night, when you are already asleep

• but tonight was the night you were gonna find out

~~~~~~

• you looked over at your clock

• "01200"

• "well thats late enough and they are probably gone by now"

• you waddle out of bed

• you decide not to bring your flashlight

• something was off about all this

• you sneek over to their shared quarters

• its very dark and you have to try not to bump into anything as you don't want to potentially break anything and have to feel the wrath of maul the next morning

• he is very sweet and you know this

• but you also know he can loose his temper sometimes

• usually the constant bickering with savage will send him over the edge

• You are pulled out of your thought when you reach your destination

• ah yes the beautiful fucked up door

• you cant even count how many times savage rammed maul into that door

• but you memorized the key as you had watched the brothers punch it in thousands of times

• and slowly you entered

• but you instantly regretted what you had stumbled apon

• two zabraki males laying on one bed...

• cuddling...

• you had no idea what the fuck was going on

• you had no time to even study the scenery before your instincts told you to get the hell out of there

• you instantly turned around and headed straight for the door way

• "fuck" you whisper under your breath hoping no one had heard you

• there was another key pad you had no idea how to open

• you put the first password that came to mind

• 12900

• the password for the outside lock

• suddenly it flashed red and beeped

• loud

• then you felt it

• it felt like an invisible hand

• then it hit you

• thats the force

• restraining your hands by your side

• you froze in fear, waiting for maul or savage to yell at you

• but no

• this hand spun you around so that you were facing the bed

• it was dark so you couldn't tell who was using the force

• since you knew both of them were force sensitive, you were clueless as to who it was

• well one of them turned on the lights

• "savage?!"

• but it wasn't savage who was using the force

• it was maul

• savage was just very confused

• a tiny laugh tumbled from your lips

• "are you lost baby girl" the red zabrak growled

• a wicked grin painted the golden zabrak's face

• "u-um ya know what- I was just leaving."

• "no. You have something to ask dont you"

• you are very confused as to how he knows that. But the force works in ways you don't quite understand

• "why- why are you sl-"

• you were cut off with a playful snarl

• "sleep like this?"

• "yes" you mumble under your breath

• "well," savage cutting off maul

• his actions earned a not so playful growl from maul

• "in Nightbrother culture we sleep in piles...

• a confused expression painted your face, but you kind of understood

• as a confusedexpression painted savages face too

• "I personally don't know how you humans do it"

• maul looks savage right in the eyes

• "are you fucking daft?"

• the golden zabrak growns

• "they sleep by themselves, savage"

• your aura shifting into a playful mood"well-"

• "I've never experienced sleep like that"

• "no" the red zabrak growls

• "please" you beg

• that look you give him is a look that had always put the zabrak in a trance from day one

• another voice cuts in "maul, it will be fun"

• you guess that look put savage in a trance too

• you giggle "cmon please please please"

• "fine, but its just to get you to shut up"

• you and Savage both have a wide grin on your face

• while maul looks very serious and annoyed

• when you are given the all clear, you hop in bed with them

•Savage on the left of you, maul to the right

• its quite comfortable, as there body heat is lulling you to sleep

• you are so close to drifting of when you feel it

• calloused fingers dragging down the back of your neck

• soon closing in on your neck in a soft but tight grip on your neck

• "shhhh" the crimson Zabrak wispers

• a kiss is planted on your neck, hot and heavy

• as you let out a slight moan, the hand on your neck turns into a hand covering your mouth

• as you grinned into his hand he let go of your mouth, slowly placing it back around your neck

• "you have been a bad girl haven't you"

• you nod into his grip

• "sneaking into our quarters like that

• then begging to sleep in our bed like this"

• you already knew this was going to be the outcome by the aura in the room

• and boy, did you love it

• maul had told you maybe a week after you had first joined them that he goes through something called a heat cycle

• so if he ever says something strange or of sexual nature, to ignore it

•you guessed that was what all this was about

•and if so you wanted to help

•you knew this was going to be daring but just to tease him on a little bit more,

• you started moving your ass against his already obvious excitement

• "and now this. Oh you are nieve, and have no idea what your getting yourself into baby girl"

• you instantly reached for his boxers

• when his free hand stopped you

• "eager are we?"

• he pulled his boxers the rest of the way down and threw them off the bed

• and since you had just a silk gown on, he could have easy access to your already soaking core

• suddenly his thumb is massaging your clit

• you swere you could come right there

• but he stops and retrieves his hand

• "is this what you want baby girl"

• you make a slight nod so savage doesn't wake up

• "now I'll tell you what were gonna do, ok princess?"

• you nod one again

• "good."

• "you are going to be a good girl and take all of my cock"

• you were slightly worried about him as you had seen him before naked in the shower.

• he didn't know you could see him until he looked over and turned around.

• instead of trying to cover himself, he put his hands on his hips, waiting for you to leave

• but you couldn't help yourself from staring at his member

• one thing you remember is it had ridges

• and you had no knowledge of what a zabrak's member looked like

•exept for this one guy who flashed you...

• but you found it quite fascinating

• but what really scared you was the shear size of him

• you couldn't get a good look but from what you could see was that he was about 7 inches

• and you didn't know if he was aroused or surprised because he was very very excited

• you suddenly snapped out of your memory when he pushed his head in slightly

• you were about to moan when one again he caught your mouth

• "shhh princess"

• a tear threatened to roll down your cheek when he let out a growl as he pushed more of himself into you

• stretching you to the max

• and filling you to the brim with bliss

• and finally he was all the way in you

• "now, for your punishment you will not move off of my cock until I tell you to"

•his tone filled with mischief and pure lust

• this was already enough to push you to the edge

• as you nodded once more

• you figured this was how you would be sleeping

• but it hit you a few seconds later when you desperately wanted to move but you know you couldn't

• you wanted to prove to him that you were a good girl

• "so this is how I'm going to be sleeping?" you whispered

• "mmh yes my darling"

• a groan tumbled off of his lips when you positioned yourself to a more comfortable position

• as he nipped your ear he whispered something in a tone you had never ever heard him speak in before

• "your mine"

• oh how this was going to be a long night.

@hxldmxdxwn I thought you would want to see this 😳🥰

Tag list

[theblackbirdsgemimagines]

May I request for the Leona, Vil, Azul and our boy Jack getting stuck in their MC's world and their experience? (MC is with them)

Oh sweet Jesus akdhakdhsk FORGIVE ME OF MY RATHER CYNICAL OUTLOOK ON OUR LIL BLUE PLANET 😬 I think it’s understandable to be more cynical than ever in this Hell Year, lolll

Send these poor, sweet babies back home, they deserve better than to be stuck here of all places 😅 ESPECIALLY JACK AAAAAA SAVE THE BABY 💔

Ok, not even going to play with you... Vil would thrive, lol.

Just give him time enough to stop panicking over all his lost clothes, magic, etc., and find new things that works for him and his detailed self-care routine, and whatever he chooses to do, he will make Fat Stacks in.

He’s the male version of Belle Delphine, here ajdhakdhsj

He appears anywhere, on tv with some company to continue his performer career he had back home, or on youtube/instagram, and he is almost immediately just as famous here as he was in Wonderland.

Can we really blame anyone, tho? Look at him.

And there’s no Neige here!

Also, ‘my’ Vil is definitely the one that knows there are many different ways to be beautiful~. He may be a bit more blunt to his friends if he thinks they’re not quite hitting the usual mark their talents place them in. But that’s only because he cares about them, and wants everyone to see their best, as he does~. He’s an absolutely encouraging sweetheart to anyone else/a beginner at whatever their passion is, though~. And either way, he’s your best cheerleader~.

Of course he still just doesn’t feel himself without his magic, or ability to do potions. I don’t think he’d find the witchcraft in our world would suit him very well.

If he was really stuck for good, of course he’d make the best of it. But if he could go home, especially if you wanted to go back with him, he’d jump at the chance. And always be on the lookout for the chance.

But that being said, I think, aside from all the world’s problems, of course, he’d find it interesting just how similar, and vastly different, things are here.

He donates Ass Loads to so many charities, like honestly.

Rich boy knows his privilege, and lets others ride off his advantages as much as he can. 💜

He becomes friends with James Charles. You know he does.

You can’t be truly fully beautiful if you’re not also lovely on the inside, too, after all~!

Rip Rook wherver he is, he is lost without his Queen 😔

Gosh, in direct contrast to Vil, Leona probably suffers the most over here?? Jahdkshdj

I know they based his sleep habits off a irl lion, but that also sounds just a Tad Bit like possible depression to me (along with a lot of the other ways he’s behaved so far, lol).

Get this sweetheart to some therapy, maybe?? Help him get a lil energy boost at least to help him feel better 💛

He’s going to HATE the work pace people have to maintain just to eat here, 100%.

He enjoys the entertainment the most, though~. Video games, things you can watch online, all those sorts of things~. Might like a few of our sports, too~.

Poor bby struggles with having to work, though, please help him 💔

At least he doesn’t have to live under being Forever Prince, here, and doesn’t have to worry about turning anything he touches to sand. And the lions in the zoos are pretty cool to go see~!

He’d probably love it if he could go to Africa and see what our “Afterglow Savannah” looks like here~. Meet the lions that are in the wild~.

I imagine he and Jack would both lose the ears for human ones, and the tails, too. (😢💔) So he probably feels weird seeing himself like that, and might miss his tail. Especially if it helped him with balance. Give him some time to adjust to it~. There’s these neat new tails people made for cosplay, that can move around on their own, if he’d like one to help him not miss his old one so much~!

I had to really think about what the heck he’d even do for a job, cause he’s so grumpy to everyone, retail’s just OUT, lol. And I don’t think he’d be that great at something like youtube, either ajdhsjjd

It’s hard for him to not just lay around all lazy, rather than think of stuff to do for it/actually get up and go do it. Let alone all the meetings, and interacting with fans, and the like.

So maybe actually being one of the zookeepers would be a good fit for him~. He’d be obligated to actually go, and he’d get to be around lots of different animals~. Might help him feel more at home, too~. I think he’d be pretty good at it, and the animals would probably be drawn to him~ 💛

He’d also absolutely challenge the authority here (or anywhere else that has appalling governments, especially if they’re not run by women). The state of things, and the way women and minorities are treated by white men around the world, and men in general, would absolutely appall him. He so drunk on that respecc women juice, he just can’t wrap his head around what the hell the problem is with those rich assholes in power. Put him in power, and he’ll ruthlessly show them what-for! ALL the others behind him would be women! Good grief, humans!

All in all, he doesn’t mind it here, but would also prefer to be home, where he can sleep more, and Ruggie can run around for him most of the time, lol

Besides, that allowed him to spend more time with you~! 💛

(LOOKIT THAT HAPPY BOY SMILE!!! I’M DEAD 💞💞💞)

Oh, Jack. Sweet, sweet Jack.

He absolutely becomes a personal trainer as a job, here. 1000%. He lives that Exercise Junkie Lifestyle, there’s just no doubt about it.

He’s VERY encouraging to his students, though~! Build up that beef, guys, he has total faith in you~! 🤍🤍

He absolutely loooooooves going anywhere to see wolves. He’d probably really love the wooded mountains in Europe, if you ended up there, or in Oregon/Washington if you ended up here in America~. Definitely Canada, or Alaska, too~! Just give him huge trees, snowy winters, and nearby mountains, and he feels right at home~.

Idk if he’d miss his magic a whole heck of a lot, tbh?? But he WOULD miss his friends and family! It’s just not quite the same here, though he thinks it’s beautiful and interesting to see where you came from~. 🤍

He’s a good boy 😭

Also appalled with the state of so many rulers and governings both in your home, and around most of the world, lol.

He can’t stand seeing so many people suffer like that! How can they possibly live the life that’s the most healthy and happy for them to live, disabled, chronically ill, or not, if they’re suffering under an iron fist all the time?!

He CAN’T stand for it. You won’t stop him till he sees good change starting to finally happen. Especially if you live here! There’s no way he can just sit around and have you be subjected to that!

HE’S A GOOD BOY 😭

You gotta calm him down a lot and remind him there are others just as good and kind as he is, fighting to change things too 🤍

God help people if he gets here anytime within 2020-2021. He’s sucker punching nearly everyone he sees without a mask.

He’s also sucker punching every nazi he sees, too.

My goodness, please show him the movie Wolf Children! He’ll hide the fact he’s crying multiple times through it, but it’s one of his favorite movies here~.

If you do manage to go back to Wonderland, please try to bring a copy of it with you. It’s the one thing he’ll miss most, and keep asking to watch with you again, before remembering it doesn’t exist there. 😭

He also misses his tail and ears a lot. Losing all of that + his senses would be very a very awkward adjustment for him, and he wouldn’t really like it poor bby 💔 Give him lots of hugs to compensate U-U 🤍

His favorite thing to do with you would probably be to go hiking, and stay in a little cabin in the woods, for a week or two~. Somewhere in one of the previously mentioned places~.

(I couldn’t find a chibi gif of Azul to use, rip 😭)

Azul is just straight up becoming a mafia boss, probably wkdhakdjjs.

He’s the ‘good’ kind, though. He’s learned his lesson since his overblot, and he won’t outright kill people for not paying him back, or introduce drugs, or anything like that.

He’ll help people obtain what they want as legally as possible... But that doesn’t mean he still won’t be sly as hell about it, haha~.

He’ll protect loyal/good customers and the areas they live in, too~. In fact, he’d probably reDUCE crime from doing so.

He just learns all the dirty ins and outs of everything about how things run here. And as much as he’ll fight for change as the others would, because there’s no way any of that is an acceptable way for you to live, he’ll work dirty in order to take advantage of the system, to do so. What better way, right? Make the dominos fall from the inside out.

He’s a good business man, he knows doing so would also benefit him, too.

He’s like Bruce Wayne if Bruce Wayne was a rich mafia leader jeehskdje

Need health benefits to work for him? Covered. Need above-average pay to actually afford your bills and other stuff? Covered. Need education to do a job for him? They’ll train you.

He’s also practically a Gordon Ramsey, tbh. Lots of his bars will pop up across the world, if he stays here long enough, lol. But they’ll all help a good number of people, in doing so~.

He also donates as much as he can, too. If he’s gonna become even a fraction as rich as Jeff Bozos, he’s ending world hunger and homelessness every year.

And boy oh BOY will he swindle the rich akdhakdhwj

He will whip them so hard, they won’t know what the hell hit them.

He may have been under restrictions at the college, but he sure as hell isn’t here. Watch out as he spreads his tentacles wings.

And, of course, he adores being anywhere near the coast. Doesn’t matter what part of the world you’re in, he just needs to be by the sea.

All the polution absolutely breaks his sweet little heart, and that’s one of the first things on his list to fix. Dealing with trash back home was much easier... you could just zap it all away at big trash fields. But you don’t have that luxury here.

Being that he doesn’t really like his ocotpus form (bbyyyyyy 😢💔), he probably doesn’t mind the permanent legs. At least he doesn’t have to constantly take a potion to keep them, anymore.

But it’s still awkward to get used to. And he can’t stand that he can’t breathe underwater anymore, or go too far down without dying from the pressure.

He’ll dive as often as he can~. And loves to dive, or snorkle, or just swim~, with you, if you want to join him~.

He does miss his home, if only for the beauty and familiarity it had, despite a lot of bad memories around it. But there’s no doubt he’d thrive here, in a way only he could~.

He totally believes your own version of mermaids exists, and gets excited over anything that could prove it to be true 😅

Plus, he’s just obsessed with how marine life works here in general~. If he can juggle being a freakin maffia boss, and a marine biologist just out of the pure love for it, I have no doubt he’d do it~.

Humans most likely evolved from creatures in the water?? That’s amazing~! So the ocean feels like a distant memory of a second home~! He’d love to bond over that, the romantic~ 💜

[closer-stars]

Precious - Seonghwa

Member: Seonghwa Genre: Drama? Thriller? Requested: Yes @s1ardusk Word count: 1.343 for once it’s kinda short Content: a bit of sleep paralysis a bit of fallen angel stuff. sorry seonghwa. Note: idk what prompted this but i ended up revisiting an old interest of mine. did a bit of research again just to make sure i was in the right direction of sorts. all of these are just loosely inspired by books i read growing up also. To add, Sleep Paralysis Sucks. Caz, I am so sorry this went in a totally unexpected direction. @yeochikin thank u for beta-reading this prior to me posting this ><

Seonghwa wakes up, disoriented and surprised from the unexpected slumber. His eyes roam the room, looking for some sign as to what time it is. Instead, he notices something in the corner of the room, still dimly lit from which he assumes is Hongjoong’s laptop. He can’t hear anything from him but the music that still plays from his phone. As he tries to reach for his phone, hidden somewhere in the sheets, he can’t seem to lift a finger, much less drag his hand to where his phone could be. Is this a dream? He asks himself. He tries to will himself into moving his fingers or toes only for this to fall short. What’s going on? His own voice was useless, he couldn’t call Hongjoong for help. His eyes could move but not his own body-- Is this some sort of sick nightmare from the stress? 

With his own body and voice being useless, his eyes and ears have become alert to compensate. He tries to look for something, anything, to get him to wake up. Nothing in their room seems helpful in his current predicament. He could already feel cold sweat run down the back of his neck. He starts to make out a vague figure standing at the corner of his room. Now Seonghwa doesn’t consider himself a believer of the supernatural, much less an avid follower of any faith but this figure that stands in the corner is making him think otherwise. His eyes, wide and unmoving, stare at the being until its shape starts to make sense. A woman? There’s no way a stalker managed to break into their dorm unnoticed now could there? He tries to move again but his muscles just feel like they’re cramping rather than anything.

In under different circumstances, he would’ve found the smile the woman wears beautiful, heavenly even. In this case, it was hell. She wears a smile of pride and glee, she knows he can see her and he can’t do anything. She also knows that his dear roommate is unaware of his predicament which makes this better. The stranger looks around the room, taking in the odd haven. She has never seen a room as small as this, but she supposes it was passable to the two boys. Gray eyes roam the vicinity, her movements made her look like she was gliding across the floor. If this is the man that her family warns their kind of, surely there would be a sign of his bloodline in this room?

His inability to move makes his blood run cold. It’s not until he spots what looked like wings, folded against her back that he realizes what’s going on. His own orbs stay glued to the soot like wings, streaks of red found underneath the feathers, only highlighted by Hongjoong’s laptop. How does his own friend manage to be unaware of the being in the room? Judging by the size, he knew those wings could easily take up space in the living room when outstretched. More questions lay in his mind, none of them only giving birth to more questions rather than answers. What was she looking for? He wants to yell, get her out of their dorms, to wake up. 

“Oh, sweetheart. You are awake.” He hears her voice in his mind. Soft and rich like velvet, anyone could fall for such a voice. It takes strength to tear his eyes from her wings to look at her properly, she was now standing in front of his bed. He doesn’t know if he’ll remember this but he drinks in her appearance like it would heal him of his injuries, like it would wake him up into the reality he knows of. She glows with a translucent like material over her skin, a light that could fool the innocent. Her height could rival that of the models in the most prestigious brands. Her hair, too dark to be considered natural, even real. A shade that could only be achieved with hair dye but why does hers look so natural? She didn’t look human but she carried features that humans have. She reminds him of the beings that loom over the cathedrals he’s seen throughout the tours. That’s when it hits him. 

Was she one of the beings that had willfully chosen their own desires. If she wasn’t one of the Originals, she was definitely a descendant. What was her kind doing here? More importantly, why is she in his room? He’s been told stories of her kind growing up, not once did he think they were rooted in truth.

Her eyes, pale enough to pass as normal, gaze down at the male who seems to now know who-- or rather, what she is. Her smile, sinful as her desires, grows on her lips. She dips down to the eye level of the frozen male as her fingers brush through his raven hair that has fallen over his eyes. Once her finger dips to his chin, she tips his face up to look at him properly. Surely her kind had their eyes on the wrong person? This male had features that bear the same ethereal calmness her kind had but no sign that branded their sin, much less a sign that bears the immunity of the being that had cast their downfall. She looks around once more, looking for any information about this male. It nearly proves futile until she sees a banner that carries his face with his name. “Park Seonghwa? A lovely name to match your face.” She purrs, shooting the male a wink as she brushes through his features. 

“What- what are you doing? Why are you winking?” He wants to ask but it only rings clear in his mind and perhaps hers that she laughs softly, delighted by his fear. It’s been a while since she’s felt that kind of emotion because of her existence. For once, Seonghwa hates how her voice reminds him of honey. She says nothing and approaches their dresser, to resume her search. Before she could do anything, there was a knock on their door. Even if she knew that this Seonghwa’s roommate could not see her, she was not informed of others that live under the same roof. It was better to stay undetected. She takes quick strides to the window, opening it just wide enough for her entire form to slip out. 

“Don’t think this is the last time, precious.” Deft fingers manage to close the window just in time for the door to open. With that, Seonghwa finally manages to regain feeling in his body. 

“Hyung..?” It was San. “The others are asking if you guys want to join game night.” He asks softly, noting the dimly lit room as he opens the door a little wider. He couldn’t help but think that this light was better than what he saw earlier. The younger’s presence being his safety in more ways than one at this point. 

 Hongjoong finally removes his headphones and looks at the time. “Hm, a round couldn’t hurt-- you’re up?” The male shifts his attention to the eldest who struggles to push himself up to a sitting position. He yanks out his earphones, putting them back in its case as he searches for his phone. 

“Huh? Yeah. Weird dream.” Seonghwa mumbles, disoriented still as he rubs his dry eyes. He squints at the bright glare of his phone once he finds it. 10:10 PM. A disgruntled groan slips from his parched lips and he pushes himself to stand up. “I’ll join you guys. I can’t go back to sleep.” 

As the two leave the room first, he looks around for a few moments. A sign that what had transpired was indeed real and not a dream. Just as he is about to approach the dresser, he hears San call for him from the living room. The search will have to wait, he supposes. He shuts the door behind him as he leaves. 

He doesn’t catch the feather that rests on the table.

[tae-cup]

Cupid’s Blind Eye | Of Eternity and Euphoria (3)

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Summary: A demigod looking for love meets the god of love himself. 

Warnings: N/A. This might be the fluffiest one so far. wait I lied it’s not fluffy at all. It’s really angsty. I’m sorry. 

Word Count: 5.4k words 

A/N: I have a lot of ideas for this series. So much so, I’m ignoring my other series. Like Hamartia and The Pact which I was s u p p o s e d to start by now. Smh this is what happens when I have too many ideas. I’m planning a spin off series for a Male!reader for this...I also wanted to tie this more into the overarching plot, but it’s okay, I’ll get you more park jimin okay. Consider me your supplier.

AS:ASJFLKWJQ:W it deleted my first draft >:( 

Other:

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Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged cupid painted blind - William Shakespeare

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Your knees hurt already. It had been all of 15 minutes, but the gravel under your legs wasn’t exactly comfortable. You had spent the last hour praying for the god of love to show himself and you fell to your knees desperately in the last 15. 

“Oh, god of love.” You drawled sarcastically, ready to leave the dilapidated altar. “Answer my prayers.” You practically rolled your eyes, sick of this nonsense. 

You stood slowly, realizing he probably wasn’t going to show himself any time soon. You swiped the gravel off your knees, not noticing the presence behind you. 

“You should know not to be so disrespectful to your gods, darling.” A sly voice called. You froze. No way. When you turned to look, a man leaned against the pillars of the altar. He radiated lust and love, an inhuman aura. There was no doubt this was the god of love, lust, and passion. 

And unlike him, you radiated a sort of pure aura; compared to him, of course. It drove him mad. 

“Oh.” You were at a loss for words. His build was literally of the gods and his face, oh his face. You couldn’t find a single flaw in his face. From his adorable nose to his plump lips. You found yourself staring at his features for way longer than necessary. He smirked. This was a typical response to his appearance. 

“Why do you seek me out?” He stepped forward, peering into your eyes. 

“I want to know my soulmate.” You clenched your fists. Everyone you knew already found theirs. Your friend, Jennie, had explained that the god of love had helped her, but you didn’t believe her. You thought she was pulling your leg. The god quirked his head to the side. 

“Why do you need to know that?” 

“Because I’m sick of being alone.” You admitted, mouth feeling awfully dry as you nervously shifted from foot to foot. 

His gaze softened, heart thumping. 

“You won’t be alone forever.” 

“It feels like it sometimes.”

“You’re a demigod.” It suddenly clicked. Your blatant disrespect of the gods, the odd aura surrounding you. Almost godly, but not quite. Not many demigods had a good connection to the gods. They were often cast aside, looked over, thought of as wannabes when many just wanted to live their lives. His altar wasn’t any different than the other crumbled ones around, the only indicator was the Greek letters above, but only a demigod would be able to read that. 

“And you’re a god. I’ve come to learn that it doesn’t matter who you are, we all die in the end.” You frowned, thinking of your godly parent, one that had faded a long time ago, sentenced to eternal darkness for the atrocity of giving birth to you. However, being a demigod came with its perks. As long as you stayed healthy, you had longer lifespans while staying youthful. You had stopped aging around 25, but now you were around 60. You would likely begin aging around 100 and then die around 200. You had lived a long life so far without finding love. At first you thought it was possible, but as the years went on, no one gave you that spark, that burning sensation, that claimed them as your soulmate. 

“Listen.” You sighed, “I just want to know if they exist. I’ve spent years searching and I thought fate was supposed to bring us together. Are they to be born in another timeline? Shall we never meet?” 

The god of love frowned at your lack of faith in him as a god. He stepped forward, close enough for you to make out his face in detail. He radiated love, lust, and passion. His eyes were intense, but you didn’t find yourself scared. In fact, it was almost comforting. He was the definition of love. 

“Do you have so little faith in me? Fate has brought you here.” He gently reached out and touched your shoulder. He just needed to check. It was silly to think that the god of love, could not seem to find his lover. There. That spark, that burn. It spread like a wildfire, consuming your everything. It felt like your atoms had rearranged, yearning to be completed by him. 

You couldn’t do anything except stare at him. There was no way you were fated to one of the gods whom you so dearly despised. The gods had abandoned you as a child. Was this some cruel punishment? He softened his expression, taking in your frustrated form. Scared, worried, and anxious were reactions he expected from his soulmate, but anger was not one. 

“I don’t have to be with you, you know?” You said bitterly. “I can choose to stay away. Not all soulmates stay together.” 

Your words clearly had an effect on him because he nodded and stepped away. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion and hurt flashed across his face. 

“I won’t force you to join me, but please reach out if you change your mind. You know where to find me.” He gestured to the altar. He, out of everyone, knew that you could put two perfect people next to each other in a room, but you couldn’t force them to love each other. Love was a tricky thing and Jimin knew it best. “Just ask for Jimin.” 

Then he was gone, the wind seemingly taking him away. You rushed forward, looking for that sneaky god, but you couldn’t locate him. You had to admit you felt bad about reacting that way. He didn’t expect this either. With a sigh, you called out to the stones. “I’m Y/N. Lovely to meet you, Jimin.” 

And of course he heard you. His eyes trailed your back as you ran back into your small town. It was one of the last towns who truly believed in the gods, that’s why so many had altars up. A smile made his way onto his face. Now it was just wait and see. 

-

-

“Oh come on. You are way too boring, Jimin.” The fiance (I’m sorry I don’t have accents on this computer >:( ) of Yoongi rolled her eyes. 

“___, You must understand, love just doesn’t work like that, You have to let it happen.” 

“I bet she wants you to chase after her.” ___ continued. “Here, invite her to the wedding. She can be your plus one!” 

“You’re too kind. I fear she may be afraid of the underworld.”

“Didn’t you say she’s a demigod?” Yoongi’s fiance quirked her head to the side. She was a human before a goddess. She had no bias against demigods and Jimin felt she was the best to approach about his encounter. 

“Yes.” 

“Then I doubt she’ll even bat an eye at the underworld.” She viewed her nails, thanking the workers and standing from the salon. “You came all the way to the human world just so you could whine about your love life to the goddess of the underworld. Seems right.” 

Jimin scoffed, crossing his arms defensively. He was at a loss for words, however, and he bit his lip. “I came to you because she seems more human than god and I wanted to know your experience.” 

“Well, Yoongi basically kidnapped me, but not really. I just knew I wanted to go with him. Then he and I hit it off from there. I fought with Taehyung, stirred up some shit, and now I’m going to be the downfall of Olympus.” 

The other gods didn’t like her joking about the downfall of Olympus, but Jimin could always laugh. 

“At least my nails will look good while it happens, yeah?” 

The love god laughed along with her and the two walked over to the park. The park, known as Plyosum Park, was a great hotspot of godly energy. It was the quickest and easiest way to get to Olympus. 

“Now, I must be going.” She smiled, “But, have you ever thought, Jimin, that she’s no more human than she is god? Maybe she just wants to be treated as the person she is; a demigod. That’s why I don’t think I can help you much. I wish you luck, however.” She sent a small wave to him before ghostly hands reached up and dragged her under.

 Jimin sighed. She had a point. He’ll just treat you like any person. He let his wings grow out as he prepared to travel back to Olympus. They were a feathery white with golden flakes scattered in between. Many called him cupid for this, but he preferred the name Eros. 

-

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You opened the letter with caution. It had appeared on your desk when you arrived home and it definitely hadn’t been there before. The handwriting looked familiar, though you couldn’t place your finger on it. 

Dear Y/N, 

         I am writing to you today because the god and goddess of the underworld are getting married. They have requested I bring along someone and of course my first thoughts were of you. It would be lovely if you are able to join me, but it’s quite alright if you don’t feel comfortable. Please consider my offer, but I will not hold it against you if you choose not to come. 

                                                                                     Best,

                                                                                    Jimin

You had to chuckled at his formal phrasing, but you couldn’t blame him. He wanted to give you space and you respected him for being so cautious to your boundaries. It wasn’t expected of the god. After all, he was a god. He could have just kidnapped you on the spot. Maybe he just understands love doesn’t work like that. That made more sense. You carefully wrote back. 

My dearest Jimin, 

               I would be honored to attend such a momentous occasion. Sadly, I seem to be at a lack of formal wear suitable for this kind of event, what do you suggest?

                                                                                      Best,

                                                                                     Y/N

Of course you had to shoot back with your own formal tone. You hoped he understood the sarcasm in it as you hiked to the only place you knew he visited. His altar was old, crumbling, very un-beautiful for the most beautiful god you knew. Then you remembered that you would be meeting many beautiful gods and goddesses in a short time. 

You placed the far messier letter down at his altar and hurried back to the village. Jimin was waiting, hoping to catch you, but you were gone before he could even speak. He bent down and slowly picked up the letter. He hastily tore it open, smiling fondly at your words. It was a shame he didn’t get to see you properly before you rushed off. 

It was in your nature, as a demigod, to be skiddish around most things; though you seemed to have more of a fight in you than other demigods. The issue was that demigods didn’t fit in anywhere. The gods despised them and regarded them as abominations, hybrids, wannabes. The humans weren’t much better, fearing anything they considered other. Demigods would rarely be able to rest without being hunted by one group or another. 

Jimin looked to the middle distance, thinking about what outfit would best suit you. He wanted you to fit in with the other gods and goddesses. While he was a great believer in “love is love” other gods may try to bring you down simply because you were a demigod. It made him feel ill to think of what terrible things could come your way because of your mother’s mistake, not that you were a mistake. He mentally scolded himself. He was constantly on the fritz of checking himself and making sure he said the right things. 

He shook his head, returning to his place in the clouds. 

-

-

When there was a knock at your door, you jumped in surprise. It was not often that the village people visited you. You lived a lonely existence, but you decided this was fine. 

“For: Y/N.” You read carefully, surveying the package on your doorstep. You glanced around, eyes flicking to the house next door and traveling down the empty road. Hurriedly, you grabbed the package and hauled it inside your house, slamming the door shut. 

The box was more of a rectangle. It was long and flat and there was no return address. You had a feeling you knew who had delivered it. You walked to the kitchen and grabbed a pair of scissors. Then you approached the package, unsure of how to open it. If this was what you thought it was, you didn’t want to damage it. You gnawed at your lip, brows furrowed in concentration as you painstakingly cut through the thin strips of tape. This is ridiculous, just rip it open. You couldn’t bring yourself to do that, however. You didn’t want to rip the contents. So you continued your work before the box flaps finally undid themselves. 

Your breath caught in your throat as you looked at the dress. It was a light pink, an innocent color. You rushed to your room to try it on. Of course it fit perfectly. It had a tight bodice, hugging the upper half of your body in a flattering way. Then the rest of the material flowed from the bodice. Layers of tulle and silk fluttered to the ground. In the box also came a delicate silver crown, headband, thing. The silver was twisted into delicate branches that curved every which way, forming a sort of bramble. It looked so elegant and graceful. The accessories that came with the dress included silver earrings and bracelets. The most important was a necklace. It was an graceful, thin, silver chain, but at the bottom it was weighed down by a light pink gemstone. It seemed to glow, like a beating heart. You didn’t expect anything less from the god of love. You were stunning. 

You couldn’t wait to wear it to the wedding in a few days. Jimin would surely be impressed. You found yourself blushing girlishly at the thought of impressing him. You wanted him to want you. To see his eyes light up when you entered a room. To kiss him. You gently placed your fingers on your lips, thinking of his plush ones on yours. You knew he would oblige you if you asked, but you had only met the once and the soulmate bond was inexplicably strong already. You were worried it would consume you if you let it. Would you still be standing if it did? 

-

-

Days go by and now you stand at his altar. It’s desolate, looking lonelier than ever before. You shift nervously, having done your makeup to reflect the lightness you were sure he wanted to portray. You knew he was trying to get the other gods to like you and you were still wary of meeting them. However, you promised yourself that you would try, even if the other immortals didn’t. You didn’t want to pace, having already painstakingly made sure your dress wasn’t muddied on the way up. Where is he? 

You were beginning to worry. Little did you know, Jimin was freaking out. He was pacing and getting far too worked up for a god. 

“Hyung! What if-what if she gets scared and doesn’t want to see me again?” He whined to the sky god. He strutted up and down the hallway that led to his altar. He knew you were there, he could feel it, he just couldn’t bring himself to step through. 

“Jiminie, she’s a demigod, she’ll be okay.” Jin squeezed his younger friend’s shoulder. Jimin had trusted Jin enough to tell him about you. He thought of telling Namjoon, longing for the elder’s advice more than anything, but there was something sneaky about that god that held him off. 

“What if she doesn’t like me?”

“Why would she show up if she wasn’t interested?”

Jimin ran a hand through his hair and Jin could tell he was about to complain more so he stepped in. 

“Hey, you’ll be okay.” He said softly, pushing the god of love towards the door. Who knew that such a suave man was so...scared of love? “If you’re worried about jumping off the deep end and drowning,” Jin had heard that falling for your soulmate often felt that way. “Then it’ll be okay. You’ll learn how to breathe underwater.” 

The elder god then took the, now quiet, god by the shoulders and steered him down the hallway. The god of love took one heavy step after another. “Go, you’ll be late otherwise and that won’t do any good to lighten the other gods’ positions on her.” Jin said, almost scolding. The younger god just kept his mouth shut, nodding way too easily to his friend. 

“Wait, Hyung-”

“Go.” 

Then he was shoved through the doorway. 

-

He stumbled straight into you, hands reflexively reaching out to stable you. You gasped in surprise, heat rising to your cheeks. 

“Jimin! I thought you weren’t coming.” You said in a huff. The god stood there sheepishly, scratching his head. 

“Right, I’m so sorry, I was...” Honesty is the best in any relationship. “...I was nervous.” 

You tilted your head to the side. Usually it was the other way around with all the assholes you’d dated in the past. They were always entitled, never asking you about anything. 

“Oh, I see.” You said awkwardly. “Well, it’s getting late.” You drifted off. Then you noticed him staring at you. Your cheeks flushed pink again at his gaze. It was intense, searching, as it took in your outfit. You heard him let out a soft breath. 

“You look...ravishing.” He breathed, finally putting into words how he felt. But nothing could describe how you looked. You looked like a goddess. Perfection, beauty, grace, intelligence, all in one. He swallowed, trying to keep himself in check. He held out his hand, “Well?”

You hesitated, looking at his soft hands. Hands that had never worked a day in their lives. You cautiously place your hands in his and he pulled you close. 

“Let’s go.” He murmured. How he managed to make two words sound so enticing was lost on you. 

-

-

“Pleasure to meet you, Ms...?” The goddess in front of you purred, holding out her hand. She somehow made it seem condescending. You and Jimin had been glued to the hip since you arrived, but he had briefly left to get drinks, leaving you to fend for yourself. Every god and goddess in the room was intrigued by you. You just kept thinking back to how extravagant the ceremony had been, but you had been more taken with how gracious the bride was. She was so bright compared to the god of the underworld, but somehow they got along. 

“Y/N.” You smiled, your lips pressed together. You looked, and in someways were, like a goddess, but everyone knew there was something different. Your impostor syndrome was driving you mad. 

“Right.” The feline-like goddess strolled away. You turned, trying to ignore the headache you had, only to bump into another god. He looked startled, jumping back quickly. He had an airy quality of innocence and bright light around him. He was handsome, devilishly so. 

“Oh! I’m so sorry.” You exclaimed genuinely, looking at the god with confusion. He had this air of familiarity about him that you couldn’t quite place. 

“No, no, it was my fault. I wasn’t watching where I was going.” He said shyly. Then an arm wrapped around your waist, a drink being handed to you softly. The man before you got visibly more pale at the sight of the god holding you. He didn’t seem scared, just sad, maybe even heartbroken. “Oh, I see.” He nodded quietly, mood doing a whole 180.

Jimin grimaced as he watched the other man retreat. He felt his heart strings tug, but pushed the pained feeling away. You could sense the tension so you carefully unwrapped yourself, taking his hands. 

“Let’s dance.” You said softly. You weren’t sure what just happened, but it didn’t feel like your place to pry. As you place your hands on his shoulders and he planted his firmly on your waist, he let out a sigh. 

“I know you’re curious, you can’t hide things from me.” He glanced around as you both blended into the crowd of other couples slow dancing. “That was Agape.” 

You nodded slowly. That’s why you felt so familiar. Anyone who was close to Eros understood Agape well. 

“Is that was he goes by?” You knew Agape to be the innocent love, the first love, and Eros to be a more sexual love, one filled with desire. You also knew that Jimin didn’t go by Eros, he went by Jimin. People often got him mixed up with Agape, claiming him as cupid, but Agape usually handled first love scenarios. 

“No.” He said quietly, as if losing his will to speak. “He... he goes by-” He suddenly cut himself off. “Actually, he doesn’t like it when people refer to him by his real name. Just know that I like you now. You don’t need to worry about him.”

You frowned, eyebrows knitting together. “I never thought he would take you away from me? I was just interested.” 

“Ah, yeah, there’s been...tension.” He didn’t give you any more explanation so you sought to change the topic. 

“Tell me about the other gods.” 

He seemed glad to change subjects. Instead, he told you about Seokjin, the friendly sky god who knew of your predicament. Then he went on about his Taehyungie, Kookie, and then his hyungs. You smiled warmly at all his fond remarks, discussing them as if they were his blood relatives. It humanized them, though you weren’t sure if that was intentional on his part. You had just warmed up to the idea of meeting these gods when someone screamed. 

-

-

It wasn’t a happy scream. It was a blood curdling, ear piercing, shriek. A goddess ran from the entryway, clearly alarmed. You jumped and Jimin’s hold on you tightened. 

You could see Taehyung pull his lover closer and Yoongi pushed his wife behind him. Other gods were taking defensive stances, eyeing the goddess warily. She was obviously a low level god, her aura faint and you were sure she was to die out soon. Seokjin carefully approached her like a wounded animal. Being the oldest, he had this responsibility; to meet all threats to his circle with full force. 

“Ah, Ms. Lee, what troubles you today?” 

The entire room stilled, watching Ms. Lee carefully. Seokjin spoke calmly, but there was a fierceness to his voice, a demanding power. 

“We’re under attack up above. They’ll be here any minute!” She was inconsolable. You gripped Jimin’s arm and he held you impossibly closer. And attack? By who? The enemies of the gods were long gone and any god who tried to cause trouble was sure to be eliminated quickly. All the gods seemed troubled except a certain war god.

“Great! Then we’ll go to war!” He shouted, anger in his voice. Being the war god, you were sure it was his natural voice. Jimin started radiating a more dominating aura. You realized then that he had hidden most of it as to not freak you out. Now he glowed a luminescent light pink. You knew he was quite literally a lover, not a fighter. 

“Now, now, how do we know this isn’t just a set up?” Yoongi narrowed his eyes, clearly not wishing to discuss war on his wedding night. 

“Well either way we’d still be under attack.” The girl beside Taehyung breathed. She had a point, you couldn’t deny that. Jungkook’s eyes met briefly with Taehyung’s lover and you could almost see the spark of tension despite being a little ways away. Taehyung put himself between the two subtly. You had a feeling there was a story there. 

“Jimin?” Your voice was a whisper as to not break the very thin surface tension of the room. He squeezed your hand in response to tell you he was listening. “Are we in danger?” Your heart beat rapidly. You knew you were the most human here. You were strong, but you wouldn’t last a second against a god. Okay, scratch that, you might last two seconds, being a demigod, but you were still severely disadvantaged. You didn’t want to a) be a burden and b) be killed. 

“I’ll keep you safe, love.” He murmured quietly, leaning down and pressing a kiss on the top of your head. You felt your body heat up, wishing those lips to be on yours. You just nodded along, not trusting yourself to say anything else. Then there was a bang outside and the sound of the guards running. You turned to him. eyes wide. 

Taehyung was already pushing his lover and Yoongi’s wife together, having another god usher them somewhere safe. You paused, wanting to join them. You even saw Yoongi’s wife turn and look at you expectantly. All the gods and goddesses who valued their lives were running. There was another bang and it was chaos. Those who had been frozen in place were now running and those who wished to fight were materializing their weapons. Jimin looked between you and the door, clearly debating. You gently pushed him towards his friends, knowing he wouldn’t want to leave his brothers. 

Then you pressed a quick kiss on his cheek. He flushed red. 

“Maybe you’ll get a kiss on the lips if you come back unscathed.” You joked, winking playfully as if he wasn’t about to go out and face...whatever was behind that entryway door. He didn’t respond, just nodding firmly. You rushed to join the other two women who were considered V.I.P.s because of their status and relationships to the inner circle. As you were ushered out of the room, you heard the door burst open and you prayed Jimin was safe. 

-

-

You shivered, the dress not doing any good to keep you warm. The women beside you had hardly spoken a word to you except one, who was the bride herself. She had introduced herself to you and then gone quiet. Obviously, she was worried for her new husband. The other woman was shaking like a leaf. You were surprised the relationship between her and Taehyung worked, but you knew love worked in mysterious ways. The bride offered you a small smile, pulling off her pristine white cardigan and handing it to you. You thanked her lowly before resuming your staring contest with the wall. 

It was a nice room, a library somewhere even more underground than the underworld. The goddess of the Earth was obviously more wary of you than the one of the underworld. Though, from what Jimin had briefed you on, she had once been a human too. You were all worried sick for your loved ones, of course. No one could think of much else. The constant shouting was driving you over the edge. You just wanted some peace and quiet. 

Having always been introverted, you didn’t enjoy crowds for long periods of time. Keeping to yourself and staying out of the way was the best. As much as you disliked the gods, you and the women in the room were sharing a bond. A bond of fear. You were quite the opposite from Jimin in that way. He was a very social person, always going out of his way to talk to people, his words always smooth and graceful. You, on the other hand, were just...there. You stumbled over your words, rambled, and had trouble concealing your emotions as well as him. 

There was a knock on the door. You all looked at each other, eyes wide and waiting for the password to be spoken. There was none. It’s not them. You mouthed. The door flew open before you had time to react. You counted your seconds. Two seconds against a god. You had two seconds. 

You were just confused, however, when you were met with a familiar face. 

“Mom?” 

-

-

The long forgotten goddess didn’t even flinch at the anger in your expression, nor the tears that betrayed your pain. It was all too much. She had changed so much. Once the goddess of wisdom, the original goddess long before Namjoon, she held herself with grace. But her frame all bones, no fat, her face was gaunt, and she looked liked she had just walked out of a halloween store. Your breath caught in your throat as she grasped your arm, hard enough to cause a whimper of pain. The other women were forced to follow along as well. 

She escorted you out to the ballroom. You felt yourself go pale, stomach dropping to the floor as you surveyed the room. Blood, everywhere. You couldn’t tell whose was whose. Gods are gods, but they bleed. And when they die, they must wait to be reborn once more. You felt your heart clench, seeing the inner circle on their knees. They looked defeated. Seokjin was comforting a sobbing girl, only to have her ripped away and whisked somewhere else. This made the elder god snarl, but he stopped almost immediately after looking at their captors. And who wouldn’t? 

They were ghastly creatures, looking like demons out of a novel of pain and horror. Some of them had melted skin, others had hollow faces and haunting stares. All brandished with various “K”s on their bodies. You noticed your mother had one on the side of her neck. The gods were arguing with someone, but you couldn’t make out everything, the argument in full on Greek. Then there was a loud cough. Your mother threw forth the other two girls first. You watched Taehyung and Yoongi’s eyes go wide, before going back, completely feral, to arguing. Then your mother pulled you in close. 

“Y/N.” She said coldly, despite her seemingly motherly embrace. “You have disappointed me greatly, I pray Kronos spares you.” Her lips were a thin line as she threw you to the ground too. You tripped over the debris and landed on your hands and knees. You looked up, meeting the eyes of Jimin. 

You saw a quiet fury. You knew Jimin was diplomatic, he wouldn’t yell, but you could feel his anger from across the room. He mouthed ‘I love you’. And you frowned a little. This was not where you wanted to be confessed to. You wanted him to say to you, alone, and secluded. You selfishly wanted that. Now the enemy had stolen your first I Love Yous as well. 

“Put her with the others.” You understood that part. The masked leader gestured to an underling who unceremoniously dragged you over to the other women. You huddled together as they shoved you into a cage with the crying girl from earlier. Yoongi’s wife wasn’t crying, but she did seem to be in a state of shock. Taehyung’s lover was crying, trying to conceal her sniffles. You gently shrugged off the cardigan from earlier, handing it to her. She took it quickly, hiding her face. You even heard the smallest thank you. Underlings surrounded you like specimen, watching you like you were zoo animals. 

“Yoongi!” The bride called out, panicked. You felt it too. There was something bad coming. Then the cage moved and you felt nauseated from the sudden movement. You panicked fully for the first time. Where were they taking you?

“Jimin!” You screeched, hand stretching out. His eyes widened farther. 

“Y/N!” He called back, fighting the restraints and lunging towards the cage. 

Taehyung’s girlfriend sobbed loudly and Taehyung looked over, concern evident as he struggled to reach out, mental focus just on getting to his lover. 

“I love you!” You cried. “Please look for us, don’t give up on us.” Came out your broken plea. 

“I’ll search the ends of the universe just to see your face, Y/N.” You heard him say. The underlings restrained him and you sat back, feeling defeated already. The others knew you weren’t a goddess and they immediately babied you, knowing your body to be far more fragile from theirs. Tae’s girlfriend shot you small smiles of encouragement and you did so in return. Yoongi’s wife rubbed your back and the third mystery woman remained silent as you were driven to gods know where. 

-

-

Last minute A/N: OKAY OKAY I admit it, I didn’t give this...a great happy ending. BUT BUT BUT I promise you a happy ending in the future-

[holdvns]

hi friends ! i’m farah nd im coming at u live frm the pst timezone to bring u a new muse of mine. so excuse me as i ramble abt holden under the cut. like this post and i will come bother u for plots?? that or u can im me on here or on my discord (farah#1263), whatever works rlly! anyways, super stoked to be here and to get to write with u all!!!!

(TOBY WALLACE, CIS MALE) - Have you seen HOLDEN DONAHUE? HOLDEN is in HIS JUNIOR year. The PHILOSOPHY MAJOR is 21 years old & is a TAURUS. People say HE is QUICK-WITTED, DARING, IRREVERENT and DETACHED. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY SOCIETY. I heard from the gossip blog that HIS FATHER PAID OFF THE SCHOOL TO CHANGE HIS GRADES AFTER HE FAILED FOUR CLASSES LAST SEMESTER FROM NEVER SHOWING UP.  (FARAH. 22. PST. SHE/HER.)

pinterest board / tag

holden grew up between upstate new york and manhattan in an extremely wealthy family. from the outside, his family had the appearance of perfection, but underneath that facade lay years of shocking and hidden family secrets that one way or another got out into society, even if his family tried to put them down as merely rumors.

his father is a highly respected but also deeply feared business man/media magnate known for his cutthroat attitude in his business dealings and personal relationships. he had an extremely difficult childhood, having been orphaned at a young age and passed from relative to relative around europe, many of whom were not very kind to him. still, he was incredibly intelligent and wanted to make something of himself, having this belief in the american dream and wanting to move there if he ever got the chance. after attending college on a scholarship, he was able to use his connections and move to new york, where he founded his own start-up that eventually led to him building his own personal fortune.

his mother was very much a hustler. she grew up poor in new york and at an early age, learned how to use her good looks to manipulate men for the finer things in life. she had a short stint as a model before she met holden’s father, charming him enough to call it quits with his first wife. underneath her obvious beauty, however, was a fiery temper and substance abuse problem. the thing about her was that she really wasn’t made to be a wife and mother. holden’s father thought he could turn her into this perfect socialite/housewife (marrying her and then proceeding to have his older brother, cal, and holden in a very short span of time), but the task proved impossible. she was always only looking out for herself and didn’t enjoy being tied down, certainly not with kids to take care of despite the nannies his father provided. they fought constantly, and their home life was extremely unstable. it was a normal occurrence for holden to see his mother being dragged off to an institution by his father’s security guards or for his mother to use him and his brother as bait to get his father to give her money for drugs, to leave him, or sometimes just to try and get back with him.

eventually, she finally did leave, having told holden and his brother the three of them were moving to los angeles, but leaving without them and dying of a drug overdose shortly after. holden was about six at the time and thinks he has successfully hidden this entire episode from his memory, but it’s definitely something that affects him whether he likes it or not.

although his family claims this was merely just a rumor, it was often said that there was some foul play behind her death and that his father had some involvement, not wanting her to ever leave him and move on with her life. while holden deep down may admit that this could be the case, it’s never something he would really say.

at this point, his father rarely talks about his mother and when he has, he has poisoned her memory so much, holden feels like he never really had one. when he was younger, he’d often make up stories about her in his head, which were far different than who she actually was. it helped at the time, but after a while it was easier to just forget her altogether.

while his father cares deeply for his children and has provided them a life of ease and luxury, he’s certainly not innocent in all of this mess. he’s extremely manipulative and often psychologically traumatizing to them as well. he often finds his children to be lazy and ungrateful and resents the way they’ve been raised (even though it was his own doing), while he suffered from poverty and abuse in his own childhood. he often pits the two of them against each other, always trying to see who’s the stronger, smartest, who will do whatever it takes to be the best, especially because there’s always talk about who’s going to be the one to be the one who’s going to take over when he retires. it is usually said to be his older brother, because it’s no secret that he’s his father’s favorite.

because of this, holden and his brother never really got along. or so it seems. they did when they were younger, but their hatred runs so deep that the even thought of that feels like a distant reality. they’re only two years apart, but they couldn’t be more different. while his brother is a complete perfectionist and will do just about anything to please his father, holden gave up on that idea along time ago. it didn’t matter what he did, he never seemed to be able to measure up against his brother. maybe it was because he was younger, maybe it was because he was more sensitive and seemed to feel things at a deeper level, maybe it was because he wasn’t as competitive, or maybe there was no explanation why his father simply liked cal better. holden’s never seemed to figure out. he’s always felt like the screwup of the family, so eventually that’s what he became.

he started drinking and using drugs at an early age, basically trying anything to mask his pain and trauma. while his brother excelled academically and in sports in high school, holden never applied himself. he fell in with the wrong crowd and gave up his spot on the football team to run around the streets of new york and engage in all kinds of debauchery. it was common for him to disappear for days on end, spending his father’s money and racking up drug and gambling debts. obviously his father wasn’t happy about this and would constantly remind him of that, but he didn’t exactly do anything to stop him either. if this was a cry for help or attention, it didn’t exactly have the desired effect and only left holden feeling empty. 

he started dating this older hippie girl who was in college while he was a senior in high school who influenced him to want to detach from his family and money and the crowd he was running in. he kind of... took it to the extreme and started talking like timothee chalamet in lady bird lmao, even though he reeked of privilege. honestly, it was just another way to annoy his father and brother, which was always his goal at the time. they ended up breaking up because he cheated on her, but he kept some of her ideas and mindset afterwards.

after high school, he wasn’t really sure what he wanted to do. so he ran off to europe for a year and didn’t talk to anyone from home. just traveled around by himself with little money and getting into all kinds of trouble. he probably would’ve stayed longer, but one morning he came across an american newspaper while he was in greece reporting on how his father had suffered a heart attack. he rushed back to the states and luckily his father has survived, but in that moment of weakness he manipulated him into attending college. his father pulled some strings and got him into yates, and while it isn’t exactly his idea of fun, he’s taking it day by day and looking it as another way to push back actually having to enter the real world.

~ personality wise ~

acts like he hates his family, new york, and everything that comes attached with money and privilege, but completely reaps the benefits of all these things when he can. claims everything having to do with high society is vapid and that he wants more out of life.

a bit of a compulsive liar. will make up fake identities and pretend to be other people or tell people he doesn’t know some sob story about growing up poor. rlly just gets off on stuff like that and doesn’t tell the truth. like ever.

doesn’t always like people knowing how rich he is or who his father is. for those that do know, he doesn’t like to talk much about his family. probably won’t ever say a word about his mother.

has no real ambitions in life or any sort-of life plan. has switched his major at least 10 times and never goes to his classes.

very much a hedonist. likes to party and hates being alone. hooks up with too many people and finds it very difficult to be in any sort of real relationship. he’s just not reliable or faithful enough.

also goes through phases where feels like he doesn’t connect with people? or that he hates everyone?

always attracts chaos of some kind. black eyes from a fight over kissing someone’s girlfriend or owing his drug dealer money.

lives life day by day. doesn’t plan for the future. usually always drunk or high.

kind of... morally ambiguous. with the way he was raised, he doesn’t see life as black or white. it’s sort of grey. usually doesn’t do the right thing, usually doesn’t feel bad about it... but there is a heart there somewhere. he just doesn’t usually care enough to use it.

rlly tries to avoid feelings as much as possible. he’s actually quite a sensitive person, but after being constantly told that makes him weak by his father and having a robot of a brother he’s always felt ashamed by that. so he uses his vices to try and not feel things.

wanted plots

hook ups, fwbs, exes, someone he cheated on, friends, enemies, someone he owes money to, someone who knew him grew up and knows his family, someone he actually rlly cares about (romantic or platonic)...i’ll add more to this when i think of more things!

[alexandriteobscuraarchive]

An Angel’s Untested Wings (closed)

@killtool​

The interior of the church and the exterior world just beyond its heavy, oaken double doors were exactly the same. Both were muffled, gray, cold. The rain had begun pouring down very early that morning and hadn’t stopped since. It was a thin gray shroud perfectly befitting that once holy place.

Daniel hadn’t minded---he never minded the cold. In truth, it was a thing that he relished; he found himself appreciating how the cold always seemed to settle deep inside his bones, finding himself unable to deny not only the familiarity of the sensation but the rightness of it.

There’s a deeply muffled thump and the dripping man in the tan coat is enveloped in blackness as he shuts the heavy doors behind him with the palm of his hand. The rain falling outside was muffled into a kind of pleasant static here; the stray droplets scattering from his hair, clothes and faintly shivering skin as he moved creating a louder reverb than what was outside. Olive locks dampened to a brownish hue are shaken and then a hand ruffling through for good measure. It’d be awhile before he was fully dry.

The church spreading before him was empty and silent---or it only appeared that way. if the Reverend had summoned him then he’d be here. Daniel stood silently between the first two sets of pews, allowing his working left eye to dilate in order to navigate the somber darkness of the church. Between the pews intermittently were candlesticks, some lit, some not---but even the flickering light only served to remind you of the darkness that inhabited the place. It was not light meant to illuminate nor warm the surroundings, nor was it light meant to be prayed under.

Of course Daniel knew who had lit the candles--for there could be no one else.

“Reverend?” Daniel called, his voice suspicious curious reverent soft, his breath hardly making the candles’ flames shiver an inch. “....Father Gray, are you here?”

He pressed forward carefully, his feet carrying him towards the middle of the pews as his gaze shifted methodically from one place to the next; the pews, the pulpit, the stained glass window with the small door underneath leading to---

“---Daniel.”

Daniel froze in place at the sound of his name; his breath hitching in his throat in spite of himself but he turns easily enough, his expression somehow remaining neutral as he does so. The man standing behind him in the deep velvet robes smiled a thin smile, the candle held aloft in one hand seemingly far more alive than its keeper. Reverend Gray’s milky eyes at first narrowed and then slid closed as he dips his head forward towards the other male in obvious greeting.

“Mine summons were not amiss I see---good ‘morrow, Daniel Dickens.”

“Yes, good morning, Reverend. I came as soon as I was summoned.” If his tone sounded odd or stilted (it did) the officiate didn’t remark upon it. Indeed Daniel still was at a loss as to how to even speak to this man---a man who was enshrouded in a mystery that both puzzled and intrigued him. Why else would he be here now if it didn’t? “Did you require something from me..?”

“Indeed. There is someone I’d have thee meet---an appraisal of sorts.”

“Appraisal..? You mean for---” Daniel trailed off naturally, his gaze wanting to shift back towards the small door that lay behind the two of them, the small wooden door situated underneath the faded stained glass window. The inner sanctuary. The Reverend’s ‘project’.

“Correct. I sense the presence of another---another soul that mayhap possess the wings thou hopes to earn yourself. I’d like for you to judge them and if you deem them worthy bring them here to me.”

“Do you trust me enough to do that, Reverend? Surely your ‘judgement’ would be more---”

“Would I doubt the words of one of my angels? Oh ye of little faith, Daniel.”

Daniel stiffened at that--now he did look away, his gaze slipping from the floor as his mouth tightens into a grimace. An angel---a part of him still couldn’t accept it. Intrigued or not such a lofty title should never apply to one such as he, for even an angel of d e a t h was holier than he was. They had purpose, they had soul and what was Daniel in the face of those things? Nothing. No, less than nothing. His body and soul stood alongside the damned---unfit to be one of the condemners. And yet....

His eyes slid shut and he lets out a long exhale through his nose. If there was even a possibility to obtain what he so desperately yearned for.... What would he give up?

How much would he s a c r i f i c e?

What measure was the soul of a a man long since dead to such a divine man?

“....It as you say, Reverend. Please tell me who I’m looking for and I’ll go at once.” The words spoken as if he truly had any other option.

Most of the info he’d been given had been the same info that had been plastered all over the papers the past few weeks, all told. And Daniel wasn’t surprised one bit. The Reverend known as Abraham Gray had made his desires very clear, and it was these desires that Daniel was supposed to meter out. The Tower. Angels. Judgement. One step at a time.

Daniel moved down the deserted street with his head lowered and his chin tucked into his sodden jacket. He moved almost mechanically and yet every single sense he possessed was alert---his body settled in a state of tension associated with a stalker of prey. Issac. Issac Foster. The serial killer still at large in the bustling city---and the person that Daniel was looking for. He didn’t have to look long, as his instincts drove him towards the other killer as if by a magnet.

An alley breaks the monotonous chain of dilapidated houses and closed businesses and it’s here where the man finally stops, his gaze turning towards the darkness of the secluded alley. A sound could be heard through the steady rainfall; a thick meaty chunking sound that one wanted to associate with a butcher or a carver---although no such reputable person would be caught in such a place. No, the sound could only be one thing and Daniel found it nearly impossible to resist the smile forming across his features as the blade of a knife glints intermittently through the rain. Up, down, up, down--again and again and again the blade slams into the already decimated corpse lying underneath it, the silver sheen of it muddied by blood but still just as beautiful.

Daniel turns bodily towards the alley and stands at the entrance of it, watching the man--emaciated like a dog but grinning like a rabid wolf---slam his knife into his victim again and again. The longer he watched the more Daniel paid attention to w h e r e the knife was going and when the sharp blade plunged into the corpses eye only to be cruelly ripped right back out Daniel stiffened---the urge to chastise the other, to lambast him for damaging what was the most important thing a person could have---rose within him like bile that he barely contained. His teeth sunk into his bottom lip briefly, digging hard enough to draw blood; although the taste and scent of it was paltry compared to the copious amounts before him, red and pink and white with rain as it bled down into the streets into nothingness.

The sight would’ve caused anyone else mortal terror and would undoubtedly spurn them into a futile flight for their lives---but not Daniel. No fear or revulsion rose within him at the gruesome sight; just a silent appraisal tinged with expectancy, even a kind of sharp pleasure over what he was witnessing. It wasn’t often that one encountered a kindred spirit after all. Seeing something not meant to be seen always had that affect he found: there was a thrill to it that excited a person like nothing else could and he was no exception. That thrill was present now, radiating off of him in hard, feverish waves.

Eventually when he could stand it no longer Daniel spoke with a calm, lilting voice, a simpering laugh edging his words only to be swallowed by the rain before it could reach the other still living human.

Slit cats’ eyes meet a mismatched pair for a few sharp seconds before Daniel breaks the contact, his imperfect gaze lowering to the corpse lying in the alley as his head tips to the side as if curious about something. Nothing remarkable at a glance---although he did want to look at their remaining e y e. The rain did nothing further but dampen their color from where he stood and Daniel found himself curious as to what color they’d been before the milky film of death had flooded them and made them m u t e. Perhaps Isaac would be kind enough to let him have a peek...

“If you are quite sated, Issac Foster, might I trouble you for a moment? I have a...proposition that might interest you....oh, and please refrain from damaging the remaining ocular. I’d like to look at it for but a moment.”

[blog20041994punam]

Numerology - Discover Your Purpose

Numerology has been used for thousands of years to determine specific things about an individual. The Pythagoras were the first to discover that numbers have a vibration to them, and each number has a specific vibrational field around them. They believed that we create our life by giving our parents our name that we want to be born with and specific date of birth that we choose to come forth in. So they have discovered meanings of the numbers and their influence on our lives. Numerology is also to believed to be used by our spirit guides to help us along in life by pointing out specific number patterns to us while we go through our daily lives. Remember Mathematics has been considered the Universal language for some time now. That can't just be a coincidence.

Furthermore, according to Underwood Dudley, author of "Numerology: Or What Pythagoras Wrought", the Pythagoreans became interested in number mysticism after discovering a particularly fascinating fact about numbers. If you add up a series of odd numbers beginning with the number one, the result is always a square number.

Discoveries like this led the Pythagoreans to the conclusion that "all is number." According to one interpretation, this means that people can measure everything in the world and describe it in terms of numbers and proportions. This is a reasonable idea, and it has had a big influence on science and mathematics. But according to another interpretation, "all is number" means that everything in the world is made of numbers and can be reduced to a numerical value.

Along with describing numbers in terms of math and geometry, the Pythagoreans also described them in terms of non-numerical traits. These traits had more to do with intuition and mysticism than science or mathematics. For example, odd numbers were masculine, and even numbers were feminine. The number one was creative, since the addition of multiple ones can create any other number. Two represented duality and was female, while three was male. As the sum of two and three, five represented marriage, and since it fell exactly in the middle of the numbers one through nine, it also represented justice.

Ten was a sacred number, largely because it is the sum of the first four digits. The holiness of the number 10 led to a list of 10 fundamental opposites:

Limited and unlimited

Odd and even

One and many

Right and left

Masculine and feminine

Rest and motion

Straight and crooked

Light and darkness

Good and evil

Square and oblong [Source: Dudley]

Systems also designate numbers with repeating digits as master numbers, which include all the attributes of two other numbers:

11: 1 and 2

22: 2 and 4

33: 3 and 6

44: 4 and 8

Numerology has been used to tell the future, guide human behavior, predict the outcome of relationships and otherwise divine the unknowable by figuring out a person's numbers. For example, if the number 5 has a particular vibration, a person whose number is 5 has the same vibration. That person can choose what to eat, where to go and how to live based on which choices have a vibration that is compatible with 5.

Numerologists will interpret the results and the meanings of each number to make recommendations or theorize about a person's future. Recommendations often include:

Lucky days or lucky numbers

Optimal career paths for a person's numerological temperament

Negative tendencies to avoid

Positive attributes to emphasize

What to look for in a romantic partner

Business Decisions

How is Spirit Guiding you

How to find your numerology number? Read on.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

A B C D E F G H I

J K L M N O P Q R

S T U V W X Y Z

This chart is how to find the numbers from your name. It's universal and has been used for thousands of years in every language. Our name makes up our Expression/Destiny number and our Soul Urge/ Heart Desires Number. Use this chart to find yours. I set up an example of Angelina Jolie to help you out.

For example: Angelina Jolie Voight.

Calculating a Expression/Destiny Number:

Angelina=36, 3+6=9. So Angelina=9.

Jolie=24, 2+4=6. so Jolie=6.

Voight=36, 3+6=9. So Voight=9

36+24+36=96. 9+6=15. 1+5=6

9+9+6=24. 2+4=6

Angelina Jolie is a 6.

Calculating a Life Path Number:

Her birthday is June 4th, 1975

6+4=10.. 1+9+7+5=22.. 10+22=32. 3+2=5

Calculating a Soul Urge Number:

A,E,I,A. O,I,E. O,I.

Angelina = 16. 1+6=5. Jolie = 20. 2+0=2. Voight = 15. 1+5=6.

5+2+6= 13. 1+3=4.

Her Life Path Number is 5.

Her Expression/Destiny Number is 6.

Her Soul Urge/Hearts Desire Number is 4.

To get a better understanding here's a simple definition of the most basics that numerologists look for when they start adding from the letters in our name, the vowels in our name and our birthday.

Life Path Number: The Life Path is the sum of the birth date of a person. This number represents who you are at birth and the native traits that you will carry with you through life. The Life Path describes the nature of this journey through life.

Expression Number: A number derived from all of the letters in your full birth name make up what is called the Expression or Destiny number. This is the number that describes the talents and attitudes at your disposal in this lifetime, if you choose to develop and use them of course. This is sometimes referred to as your potential or destiny. Living up to attributes of this number may not be easy, but it is your goal. It is your life's purpose, spiritual mission, and your field of opportunity. Unlike the Life Path number which reads as you ARE, the Expression number more correctly reads as you MUST, to accomplish your mission in this lifetime.

Soul Urge Number :The Soul Urge or as it is sometimes called, the heart's desire, is an important influence in numerology .This means your inner craving, likes and dislikes. It's made up of the vowels in your name.

Here is what the basic of numbers mean: The details are relatively similar from numerologists, this is just an example of each number.

Number 0 - Limitless, Unity, Nothingness, Boundless, Truth, Purity, Love, All, Alpha and Omega, Possibility, First Cause, Unmanifest, Breath of God, Unified Field, Source, Space, Consciousness, Cosmic Egg, God.

Number 1 - Beginning, New, Focused concentration, Goal-striving, Action, Independence, Originality, Courage, Invention, Leader, Self-reliant, Ambition, Pioneer, Will, Conscious Mind, Positive.

Number 2 - Duality, Division, Polarity, Choice, Gestation, Cooperation, Service, Harmony, Support, Waiting, Diplomacy, Patience, Psychic, Intuition, Adaptable, Empathic, Partnership, Mediator, Comparison, Receptive, Helper, Collecting, Reproduction, Balancer of Opposites, Subconscious Memory, Positive and Negative.

Number 3 - Trinity, Union of Divine plus Human, Manifestation, Positive, Negative and Neutral, Expression, Subconscious Mind/Imagination, Creative, Optimistic, Enthusiasm, Expressive, Charming, Humour, Fun, Attractive, Friendly.

Number 4 - Practical, orderly, patient, logical, hard-working, loyal, builder, steadfast, frugal, responsible, earthy, planner, materially creative, green thumb, even tempered.

Number 5 - Adventure, change, freedom, exploration, variety, sensuality, unattached, curious, experienced, periodicity, knowledge seeker, knowledge teacher, traveller, imagination, child-like, playful.

Number 6 - Harmony, beauty, nurturing, love, marriage, family, responsibility, understanding, sympathy, healing, empathic, perfectionist, order, duty, comfort, service.

Number 7 - Philosopher, sage, wisdom seeker, reserved, inventor, stoic, contemplative, aloof, deep-thinker, introspective, spiritual, faith, esoteric, exotic, unusual, hidden, seeking perfection, ethereal, other worldly, enigma.

Number 8 - Achievement, abundance, executive, strength, self-disciplined, power, success, authority, psychology, entrepreneur, intensity, supervisor, provider, grandeur, material manifester.

Number 9 - Endings, completion, humanitarian, compassionate, romantic, selfless, generous, philanthropic, loving, wisdom, idealist, artistic, spiritual healer, all allowing, other worldly, blending.

Numerology has been used for business decisions, relationship advice, seeing the signs of the Universe and/or Spirit Guides, Karmic situations, subconscious dreaming, what to overcome in this specific life, why you are the way you are, Maturity level, Rational Thought. There is a literally a number for everything that makes up who we are on every level. It takes a lot of studying and work to find all this information on your own, (trust me I've looked), I find it easier to just get a reading. Enjoy finding out what really makes me you tick.

Peace to all Beings and may Love and Wisdom guide you through Life!!!

Learn more about it and get your personalized numerology report for free.

[bubblegumfanfictions]

Sweetlips and Innocent kisses (Kai Anderson x Chubby! Reader.)

Plot- You are part of Kai’s cult, and you (obviously) like him. After your first kill, you got cold feet and decided you didn't want to kill anyone. Kai didn’t want you to go so he got you to “work behind the scenes” setting everything up, fixing costumes etc.

The gang questioned your faith towards Kai, began calling you names and generally being horrible. You run off crying, and Kai stays behind yelling at everyone, going as far as killing one of them to send a message. He goes to your room and sits on your bed. He gives you lots of cuddles and kisses. Reassuring you that you are beautiful. (Which you all are)

TW- Name-calling, lots of swearing (I mean, it’s Kai), Violence, Murder. (Again. it’s Kai we are talking about here.) and Self-esteem issues.

This is also my first ever x Chubby! reader. So apologies if it isn’t the best.

It came rather suddenly, being asked to join a cult isn’t something one would expect in their day to day lives. Sadly you happened to be friends with someone who was part of a cult, well friends is a loose term, more like ‘acquaintances’. But there you were, sat in front of a blue-haired male that you now know as Kai Anderson. The handsome male you had gained a crush on over the months. The male who asked you the most embarrassing questions.

When you first met Kai you were intimidated, not just by his beauty but by the powerful aura he always emits. But now, you were in awe of him; his power, his beauty. His everything.

After your first kill, you realised that you weren’t cut out for it. You had managed to talk to Kai about it, telling him that you wanted to stay with the cult but you couldn’t kill. You were expecting your instant demise, maybe even a lecture. But Kai just smiled at you and nodded his head.

“I thought as much, how about this, you set the scenes for us, fix our costumes, clean out the blood, sharpen and buy our weapons. and in return, you don’t have to kill anyone.” That was the first and last time Kai had ever managed to surprise you.

---

Kai kept to his word as well, he let you do all of the ‘backstage’ work and he never forced you to kill anyone. You were forever grateful towards the man and never once questioned his decisions or judgements.

It was because of this that you slowly started becoming his favourite. He kept a close eye on you during meetings and while you were handling their weapons, his excuse being that ‘he had to make sure you weren’t tampering with them.’ Which wasn’t necessarily a lie.

Right now everyone, including Kai and yourself were in the meeting room discussing the latest target. You were sat slightly out of the way since the briefing wasn’t for you, but you still had to be present. So as a pastime you decide to just absentmindedly think about Kai and about how perfect he is, and how perfect you... weren’t. You sigh silently and look down at your stomach in annoyance. Why couldn’t you look like Ivy, nice and slim but still gorgeously curvy? Ivy may not be the nicest of people but good god you’d kill to be her...  Well maybe not kill.

“Why is Y/N here anyways? she doesn’t even come with us! what is the point of her being here? She’s probably betraying us and feeding all of this info to the cops. stupid bitch. Honestly Kai why don’t you just kill her? She doesn’t do anything for us. She’s just a massive nuisance to us.” You heard one of them say, it wasn’t unusual for this to happen and you never normally let it get to you, but today for some reason you were feeling particularly sensitive.

So with glassy eyes, you heave yourself out of your chair and ran out of the room to one of the spare bedrooms Kai had set up for the people who sometimes have to stay.

~~~Back with Kai.~~~

Kai stared at the empty seat angrily, how dare they call his queen a bitch. How dare they imply that she is betraying them. She would never do that to them, to him, and he knows that.

“Okay, now that that fat bitch is gone we can talk business.” another one of them says. Kai snaps. Badly. He storms over to that person and grips their throat, slamming them into a wall.

“How dare you. How fucking DARE you, you self-absorbed slut. Y/N is far from fat. and she is no bitch. Trust me on that. I should fucking kill you where you stand for calling her those nasty- horrendous things. In fact, maybe I will.” Kai mutters with a sinister grin on his face.

He throughs the girl onto her knees on the floor. She grasps her throat, taking in deep breaths due to Kai tight hold. She looks up at the insane man with a pained look in her eyes. “I’m sorry Kai, I did--”

Kai cuts her off by shoving her down completely to the floor with his foot. “Let this be a lesson to all of you. If any of you. I mean any of you hurt MY girl in any way you will have me to answer to. Do you understand me?” Everyone is stood frozen in fear. Shocked by his outburst and too scared to speak.

Kai looks at them all, red-faced with fury. Slamming his foot into the girls back causing a sickening crack and a scream. “I SAID. DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME YOU BUNCH OF PATHETIC WORTHLESS CUNTS” The cult takes a step away from the scene in front of them, all muttering a yes, with their head hung low.

The girl on the floor coughs up some blood as she looks at the cult with pure fear. “Now I know how much you all cared for this one,” Kai smirked, gesturing to the girl under his foot. “So as a punishment. You guys will all hurt her. Badly.”

He takes his foot off of the girl and hands them a weapon. “Now.” They all stood in their place. Not doing anything.

“I said, now.” Kai raised his voice sternly. They all went up to the girl and began to beat her to death. With a satisfied grin, Kai leaves the room to the sounds of the girls' screams.

-----Back with Y/N------

You could hear the unfortunate screams of one of the cult members down the hall but you paid no mind to that. All you could think about were the nasty words that have been thrown at you when Kai wasn’t around.

You kept yourself curled up under the covers, tears streaming down your face. How could anyone ever love you? Especially Kai...

The door of the room opened, You assumed it was another cult member there to kill you while Kai busied himself with the screaming female.

The empty space dipped next to you as the person sat back against the headboard. You curled up tighter to comfort yourself as the covers flew off of your head to reveal, Kai?

You went to sit up and wipe your face but Kai gripped your wrist and lowers you back into a lying position. You looked up at the man confused and slightly frightened. “U-um Kai..?” he smiles down at you sweetly, something you’ve never seen before.

Kai lies down next to you and pulls you against him. One of his arms was wrapped around you and rubbing your stomach affectionately.

“How long has this been going on for?” He asked, lying on his side to face you. The look in his eyes being stern but worried. You sighed knowing there was no use lying to him.

“about 3 months now. I’ve been able to ignore it. But... I dunno, today it really hurt me... I heard her call me fat before I got to my room and I just broke down...” You explained, trying to hold back your tears, you didn’t want to seem weak in front of Kai.

“I should’ve fucking killed all of them...” He muttered darkly causing you to turn and face him in shock.

“K-Kai what is that supposed to mean?” He pulls you closer to him, one hand holding your head to his chest and the other wrapped around your waist. He began to run his hands through your hair as he explains.

“The girl who called you fat. Yeah, I broke her back. As punishment for the others, I told them that they had to kill her by beating her to death.” Kai shrugged nonchalantly, wrapping one of his legs over yours in an attempt to be even closer to you.

“K-kai- why did you do that, she was one of the strongest cul-” Kai cut you off by lightly tapping the top of your head with his hand. He grabs your chin and lifts your head up so you are looking him in the eye.

“I did it because she hurt you, she made you hate yourself more than you already do. And don’t try telling me otherwise. I know that look that you give yourself when you look in the mirror when you look at the ground. The way you look at Ivy with jealousy.” He cups your face with both of his hands and rolls on top of you.

“You are gorgeous Y/N, inside and out, you are the most beautiful one here because of your heart, I can sense your purity and my god, I want to take it away from you, but I won’t because that’s what makes you you and that is what I love about you. So don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t anything more than amazing.” 

He caresses your cheek and leans down pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, trailing them down to your neck. Once he gets nearer to your shoulders he pulls your shirt up to just below your bra and kisses your stomach. “Is this what you are really fussing over? If so please stop because your little belly is so cute and it just makes me love you more because it makes you more you.” 

He grips your waist and pulls you down the bed so you're at face height with him. “You honestly have no idea what you do to me. Your innocence attracts me to you more and more.” with every other word he presses a kiss from your cheek closer and closer to your lips until he is finally hovering above them. Looking into your eyes with more affection than you’d think is possible.

“I have wanted to do this for so long... So don’t let me wait any longer. Let me kiss you.” He mutters, rubbing your lip with his index finger while his eyes flitted between your own and your lips.

“I-I Kai...” You whisper, looking from his eyes to his lips also. The lips that you have been dying to feel for months now. You bite your lip and nod your head in approval. “Please kiss me...”

He grinned widely like a child in a candy store and pressed his lips against yours with urgency. The kiss was innocent and new to both parties. Kai was only used to those lustful sex kisses whereas you had never kissed anyone before. 

Your lips rubbed against one another as you wrapped your arms around Kai’s neck, resting your hands in your hair. Kai pulled your waist flush up against his body as he kissed you deeply but still trying to keep it innocent.

The innocence of the kiss had managed to turn Kai on majorly but he didn’t want to take you or at least, not yet. So to stop things from going any further he pulled himself from the kiss and stared at you panting.

“I don’t mean for this to come out in a cocky or bad way at all, I have kissed many people but your kisses by far are my favourite- I could easily get hooked to those sweet lips and innocent kisses of yours. In fact, I might need another.” he winks pressing a quick kiss back on your lips again. Causing you to flush. 

“You’d kiss anyone though so how was that meant to help?”

“I stopped. If I only wanted you for sex I would’ve kept going. But I want you. Not for sex I just want you. Look I’m not a sentimental or soppy type so I’m only doing this once, got it? I want you I want to be able to wake up in the morning with you in my arms, I want to be able to be with you all the time. I need you. I use people for sex so I get that you are concerned. But I would never do that to you. You are like a drug to me. Something I keep coming back to because I’m too addicted. Fuck Y/N I’m intoxicated by your presence. So let me keep my high and stay with me?” 

Your face turns a bright red colour as the man on top of you basically confessed his love to you. “D-Does that mean what I think it means...?” You asked cautiously just to make sure.

“Fucking yes Y/N I’m in love with you okay!? I have been since we first joined pinkies when you went bright red through my questioning. Your reactions have fucked with me Y/N.” You gasp at his blunt response. But notice his cheeks going slightly pink.

“I-I love you too Kai.” You cuddled into the male with a small smile on your face. He loves you. He actually loves you.

“You should probably get some sleep love, you’ve had a busy day.” He mutters into your ear quietly, kissing your neck softly so you know that you'll be safe with him. “and don’t worry, I’ll stay here with you the whole time.” He smiles to himself and looks at you. 

God, he loved you so much, and he’ll make sure that you will always know that.

[charismastaticarchive]

manuela hc:

the grande dame : an exploration of lgbt/camp tropes and anime jokes leading to a complex and likable portrayal of a modern day stock tropes.’

the grande dame is a stock trope of Older Women who represent the stuffy, uppity matronly upper class to comedic effect. 

from the tvtropes page  : ‘they are usually a spinster or widow’ (such as manuela is Forever Unlucky In Love) and if they are married they will be a patron of the arts that drags her husband to operas, even more cultured than the ‘prima donna’ (which manuela was implied to be in the past, but has grown past to become a highly educated professor healer and warrior in addition to her talents in theatre). when the grande dame does have a sympathetic streak, they tend to be an oddball themself (like manuela). she can be a ‘moral guardian’ (and manuela’s skills are in faith magic and she does believe in the goddess), but failing their duty towards ‘respectability’ they turn to drink. (which sounds exactly like manuela).

we could just say that manuela was thus a complicated prima donna that gave up the theatre and turned to drink after aging out of her youthful beauty, into a grande dame figure. certainly, if you look at examples of the grande dame in classical literature, it seems to be a very open-and-shut stock caricature played completely for comedic effect, as does manuela’s whininess and flirtatious milf/cougarness and ‘well i never!’ esque tone. (and she certainly does seem to turn to drink for that very reason.)

but why would u ever compare an OPERA SINGER to classic literature when u could instead compare her to the stage and screen? she’s an actress with a theatrical personality. and that’s where the lgbt readding comes in, as well as why so many lgbt people are attached to manuela, and characters like manuela, in my opinion.

the grande dame has a storied history with the lgbt community. first and foremost, in western society, there was a long history where only men could be actors (this was true in many other places of course, but we’re focusing on the west as manuela’s characterization is mostly focused on western tropes). 

matronly older women characters played for comedic effect (such as the nurse in romeo&juliet, among other such classic roles), were thus played by men in drag. but the tradition of drag for matronly older women in theatre continued long after, to the point where the ‘pantomine dame’ is a storied character/trope in british pantomine---noted for its camp and ‘over the top’ performances, and the tradition continued across the sea in vaudeville drag performances---where lgbt people could graduate from grande dame roles to primma donnas in starring roles as women themselves, regardless of their assigned gender.

after the decline of the vaudeville era BECAUSE of its connection to the lgbt community (and sex work) during the prohibition/”progressive” era, the grande dame (and the inherent camp/gay sensibility of an older woman) did not just STOP EXISTING in the consciousness of western people, and especially not western lgbt people.

no, instead, the grande dame evolved into a still classically camp (over the top, out of place) but a character ever-more entangled in other classic tropes for tough/fierce/unhinged/dramatic women, that we still can see traces of today in every genre that lgbt people are attracted to.

from horror (whatever happened to baby jane and the 'hagsploitation’ that followed it) to musicals (mama rose in ‘rose’s turn’ is literally my tag for manuela but also cats the musical’s ‘memories’ could basically be the benevolent/sad grande dame mood), to fairy tales and children’s stories (Mother Gothel from tangled tho u could make a case for every disney woman villain and also scar as being one tbh, but also mia’s mother in a princess diaries is definitely one, and so is professor macgonagall), to spy dramas (judi dench), to biopics (from joan crawford to every queen pretty much ever) alllll the way back around to drag again (if you’ve ever watched drag race? half the winning snatch games are dames lol). to basically everything ryan murphy has ever done in his whole damn life, especially with Mother Jessica Lange.

the grande dame’s mean strictness and spite has come to represent a trapping for her secret vulnerability/softness (which is the source of her beauty), something lgbt people in particular can relate to as they have to hide their self/love from a world. the camp grande dame is almost always obsessed with beauty and age (so much of our community can’t picture getting old---or doesn’t want to, with many people being deathly afraid of hair loss due to hormones, etc. and then when it comes to attractiveness, attractiveness is often our measure of worth especially in the trans and gay sector, where ‘passing’ or ‘masculinity’ is viewed as a shorthand for ‘respectability’---and so many of us judge each other so harshly based on looks.) but more than anything, the grande dame is always LONELY, or alone, whether it be from being the best/most powerful/rich (and it’s lonely at the top), or in imposed exile due to her age/lack of beauty, the terrible things she’s done, the grande dame is almost always a metaphor for lgbt loneliness.

manuela’s characterization very much abides by these classic camp/gay sensibilities (as well as the classic ones). the modern day gay reading of the grande dame is a much more textured and layered one---but often, grande dames such as they done by judi dench in the 007 movies, or even ryan murphy using jessica lange in the politician---are still objectified by the male gaze with either sexual jokes, or as being made ‘more’ OR ‘less’ than human.... because the grande dame is such a stock trope (even when more complicated by Us Gays), the grande dame is either hypercompetent (in the case of litcherally all of judi dench’s characters or julie andrews’ characters, a Badass Older Woman who is not allowed to be anything more Than Tough And Perfect even when she is in a frenzied huff) or, on the other side of the coin, a complete and total joke or a sob story or picture of an abuser (or all three at once), such as in the case of All Jessica Lange’s Ryan Murphy Characters. Please God Let This Woman Be Free Of Ryan Murphy’s Clutches.

manuela, to me, represents an interesting figure in the Grand Canon of Grande Dames. 

because while she is in every way an anime character---she represents a trope in anime we don’t see often. there are not a lot of older women characters in anime, and when they are---they are usually mid-20s maximum, or they are Sexually Dominant Women, extremely strong and competent women that Can And Will Beat Your Ass ( such as in the case of tsunade from naruto OR lotus from 999, etc). manuela is, thankfully, neither of these.

while fe3h presents manuela as a joke---like classic grande dames were presented as jokes,  the way that manuela is presented, is as an ANIME character with ANIME jokes to people who are ALL familiar at this point with anime jokes, and we are able to relate to her more on a human level than we would relate to the fussy, bitter, overly loquacious grande dames of literature.

the average anime gamer can’t relate to a jane austen biddy talking to you about how the man you are dating is not of marriagable status, and does not think that is funny. but the average anime gamer WILL see you give manuela a porn magazine she thinks is ‘very valuable’ and chuckle a bit to themselves.

but more than that---the game really wants you to LIKE manuela. it makes her relatable to the average gamer who hasn’t cleaned their room in weeks---that sometimes will eat food off the floor, that likes to sing a little too loudly and who feels lonely sometimes (or always).

and even more than any of that, instead of presenting manuela as an UGLY or evil old woman, or an abuser, or an extremely rich woman, and in presenting manuela instead as so very likable and funny, it presents manuela as someone who looks and acts desirable as a friend (and a lover). manuela is a grande dame who is not only sympathetic---she’s human AND FLAWED, just like you, even when her behavior is all jokes and huffiness.

you WANT to be manuela’s friend. you WANT to look deeper into manuela as a person and not a trope---even though she is OBJECTIVELY made up of anime jokes and stock character tropes!

and so this game ends up painting a picture of a lonely woman, a woman who considers herself weak, a woman who is messy, and funny, and loud, who fights (and sometimes is bested by those who are stronger than her)--who pushes other women out of the way to get ahead, but still loves children, who still wants (and deserves) to be loved. even tho most of this information, as manuela relays it to you, is viewed as comedic.

and as manuela is not painted as the grande dame who is a villain---as she is painted so beautifully and theatrically in opera tropes---you can really and truly see her as the star of her own show, a lovely woman trying to live her life the best she can in an adult world that is hard and cruel. just like you are, regardless of ur gender, age, or sexuality.

and from that point of understanding manuela as the grande dame, u can extrapolate manuela in ur own tropes that view her as more human and Deep---and in my opinion, most powerfully, that she is a bisexual woman and hopeless romantic that is most interested in ‘princely’/strong women types. but that’s a hc post for another day.

manuela is THE SUPREME ANIME GRANDE DAME and that anime recontextualization makes her a much better representation of older women than western canon grande dames, the end, send tweet.

[nvrissa]

hello laid ease and furries ( u know who u are )......hahaha....are u ready for this ? zimzalabim ! my name is xan ( she/her pronouns ) and my laptop has been broken for a good 3 years now i have to use an onscreen keyboard so if u see me typing for 20000 years on discord only to send u a single sentence u know whats up x JSDBJWBJW here is the intro....im really winging this no one call me out for that WOOO....tw: medication, mental health, body image ? perhaps just to be safe <3

ok ! so im not gonna talk too much abt family stuff bc yuno and i are doing the collab of the century here and art takes time people ! JSBDJBWDJW but so u get a good idea...i will write a little abt it lets get it 

so the kwons were two of the biggest faces in hollywood ( and tbh they are still considered icons / hollywood royalty no matter how old they get they stay #Relevant ) think bradgelina ! literally everyone knows who the kwons if u dont u probably live under a rock /: 

their parents are very into the fame thing...so when it came to their kids ( nari and wolfe ) they SUPER pushed the famous life onto them, really expecting both of them to be just as obsessed and enamored by the public. idk if u guys ever say that vid of gigi and bella hadid before they were huge were their mom was pressuring them both to get into modeling and to stay skinny and to be stars etc....it was kinda like that !

so narissa, being the first born, really just internalized that shit...like imagine being told ever since u were a baby that fame and status and ur last name are wildly important and not being able to remember a time when u werent being watched by cameras / a third party ( the public ) bc that was her life ! nari has....no experience as to what life is like without cameras and without having to create this image of herself that ppl are gonna be into 

obviously that’s NOT normal....and it had it’s toll on her /: as a kid she grew up so fast like u know those kids that seem so mature and wise for their age ? that was nari. she always had two versions of herself: inside nari vs outside nari. she was so good at being good just bc she knew what stuff to express and what stuff to keep inside ( spoiler alert: most of it was kept in x )  

she is still very much desperate to please her parents despite it all /: i feel like for a long time she kinda excepted and agreed that fame is everything ( hence why shes known for using her last name to get her places ) but shes starting to realize just how FUCKED it all is and just how much it’s messed her up so stay tuned for more fun !

ok so career stuff ! nari started off as a child model bc she was um super cute and super good at knowing what to do / not freaking out in front of cameras <3 but she was always obsessed with actors ! she used to sit in front of the tv for hours legit study and memorize ppls mannerisms and various movie lines.. she was literally always just quoting random lines / imitating various actors so often her parents were like ok word go act !    

she landed her first role at 12 and it was a pretty huge role as a lead chara in a mini television series that revolved around a cast of kids ( think stranger things but not plot wise just how some of the mains were kids ) with zero acting experience before hand ... so it was pretty clear to the media nari got the spot bc she was a kwon ! there was a bunch of controversy around the show before it came out but once it was released...there was no denying nari had talent

after that it was just a whirlwind of acting doors opening up for her. everyone wanted nari bc of her last name and all the attention that came from it, not to mention every director wanted to be The One that helped narissa kwon become one of the most famous actresses of the 21st century. most of the time she was getting cast for selfish reasons but nari never realized it /: she was just happy to be acting bc it really was like therapy for her to become different ppl

flash forward to age 15 when narissa was finally diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and was prescribed meds to help ! it was actually a director from a movie she was working on that suggested to her parents nari might be struggling after witnessing her have a panic attack on set. not wanting a scandal, her parents agreed it was best to get her “help” which included pills and weekly therapy ! 

so nari actually didnt mind it too much tbh she HAD been struggling for a while she just assumed her anxiety was normal and just like something all famous ppl were dealing with but that wasnt the case. she was hesitant to open up to her therapist just bc she was still obsessed with this idea of inside nari vs outside nari, and she was very scared to cross that line so it took....years of sessions to build up that trust

as she got older though and as she got more famous, everyone just assumed she was better. she was more famous and loved by the day, she had become a chanel ambassador ( thank u jennie x ), her interviews on youtube always brought in record views, she’d started in plenty of movies critics agreed would become cult classics, her social medias were nearing kardashian level in terms of followers: everything was on track....

....except nari had actually never been more unstable. she had become so dependent on her meds she couldnt go anywhere or talk to anyone without popping a few in. all the watching eyes were starting to make her paranoid, not to mention the pressure from her parents ( who couldn’t be happier with nari being so famous ) was at its all time high. she had been nominated for an oscar at 21 and everyone was expecting her to win...and then she didnt

narissa kwon famously fainted at the 2018 oscars after it was announced she had lost the award. her actual fainting wasnt caught on camera or televised, but it WAS witnessed by some of the most relevant names and faces in hollywood who were in that room. the scandal took the media by storm, the hashtag #getwellnarissa trending for over 42 hours until a statement was released she had fainted bc of dehydration and other undisclosed causes and that she was okay & currently taking it easy at home surrounded by family 

in reality it was the abuse of her medication as well as all the stress, but when your last name is kwon manipulating the press is as simple as making the right phone call. unfortunately for nari and her parents, the article about the brat pack came out a week later, and there was no manipulating that source /:

for narissa, it was all a wake up call. she decided to go off her anxiety meds altogether. after falling out with the brat pack she spent that year trying to figure out who she was separate from her fame and her last name. despite some offers from a few casting directors ( surprisingly some people still wanted her despite the scandals bc she was still a kwon, after all ) narissa rejected every role except one in a coming of age indie movie that explores womanhood and mental health as well as strained relationships with mothers. the movie is set to release sometime mid august hehe (~:

she agreed to come to milan to reunite with the brat pack bc she’s still searching for herself ! nari figures the people who quite literally grew up with her might give her some answers......not to mention there is still a part of her who is desperate to reclaim the image and status she had before everything fell apart </3    

PERSONALITY/TIDBITS

narissa is....complicated to say the least. growing up in front of the cameras and in a family who prioritized fame and outside opinions of you as the most important thing, she is quite literally desperate for praise and approval. because she legit has no idea what parts of her are real and what parts of her she’s created for her public persona, she often looks for understanding in others!! shes very very good at analyzing people and understanding people in the hopes that its gonna make her better at analyzing herself, but to no avail. 

libra sun capricorn moon !! THIS is super accurate and telling if u wanna read but i kinda just summarized it in the last bullet

she is such a perfectionist with everything she does and a bit of a control freak in the sense that if she’s not the one doing something, she doesnt have faith whatever that is will be able to live up to her unrealistic standards. directors are often concerted with nari bc whenever she gets big roles.....she is so hard on herself, often asking for take after take bc she monitors every little thing abt her expression or her movements. she’s often left frustrated and disappointed with herself bc again, her standards are SUPER unrealistic ):

she’s relatively sweet!! growing up with the brat pack they probably knew her as the life of the party, very bubbly, confident, and very easy to have fun with as long as you’re being tolerable. however, she can get kind of opinionated at times so it’s very hard for you to gain her trust and respect back if you lose it. she’s also prone to random mood swings / periods of isolation, but whenever she returns its with a big smile and a soft voice assuring you everything is okay 

very good at lying and deceiving ppl but she hardly ever does it on purpose ( unless her publicists asks her too ). she’s carried this persona / public image of herself curated for consumption from others for so long, sometimes she has no idea when she’s being sincere or if she’s just convincing herself she’s being sincere. most of the time she only deceives other people about herself. she can come across as kind of elusive because of this ( think daisy from gatsby’s perspective ) but it’s not on purpose. she just legit has no true sense of self isnt that sexy?

speaking of sex. JWDBJWBDJWBD she also uses that as a coping mechanism / a weird affirmation that yes, she IS wanted by others and yes she IS seen as someone beautiful and that she IS something to be consumed by others ( like i said in my tags....male fantasies male fantasies ) but then at the same time she feels guilty abt this and so unsatisfied and disgusted at how she’s living her life as an object / manifestation of other people’s projections rather than as a normal person...rip </3 its a cycle

ever since her relationship with micah that was so hated by the public it actually ruined and ended their relationship, nari has been too scared to publicly have a relationship again. the media seems to love seeing her on casual dates with other stars, but not to see her tied down to one person, as that kind of “damages” this super accessible persona she’s put out ( think idols and why they cant date )  

she loves poetry, french music, all of marilyn monroe and audrey hepburn’s movies, nonfiction essays abt womanhood and identity, anything chanel, is particularly fond of silk dresses but is partial to velvet as well, wears lacy bralettes under everything bc it makes her a little more confident, actually prefers large parties to small ones because small gatherings are more personal therefore give her more anxiety, would only eat fruit and drink champagne if she could live like that, doesn’t know how to swim so she’s scared of the ocean as well as the dark, used to study ballet as a kid and misses it terribly, doesn’t know how to drive and isn’t planning to learn, can be materialistic at times, is probably an introvert masquerading as an extrovert for 22 years now, the only movies she cant stand are westerns, loves to travel but is scared of flying, doesn’t drink coffee, and is allergic to nuts. 

last but most important fact about narissa is that she loves her brother wolfe more than anything in this world so messing with him is the only way nari is bound to 100% hate you. she can bully him all she wants ( ex. starting very real rumors he IS in fact a furry ) but no one else is aloud to actually be mean to him or she will kill you

also very random but i had a hc that when she was 6 and her pet cat jinx died she caused enough fuss at home her parents actually made it a national holiday in about thirteen different states. the anniversary of this death is december 4th and yes . the brat pack better mourn jinx with nari every year......

pls spare plots im sorry this is so long.....JBDJBWJDBWJBWDJBJ i promise it will be worth it also im sensitive and very small ... how can u say no ?