#u ever just spray a worm
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@opiodaeâ itâs 12:30 am (edit: it is now 1 am) and i just let out the ugliest snort reading this bye
question for the dash how the fuck do yall draw envyâs hair. im losing my mind. help
#opiodae#pstrlg#replies#is this what you meant /j#my art#envy#fma#u ever just spray a worm#preshcore
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S2E3: Blood
Case: In, ahâone sec... Franklin, Pennsylvania! It's in Pennsylvania, definitely remembered that on my own accord. Anyway, in Franklin, Pennsylvania, a bunch of people are losing their marbles and murdering people in seemingly random attacks. What ties these crimes together is that right before they went murder hobo, they were in a situation that exacerbated their biggest fears, and also they hallucinated technology telling them to kill, which is very entertaining bc it's the fucking 90s, so the technology is very silly on its own, but is even sillier when it says "KILL 'EM ALL" in big red letters, but I digress. Mulderâwith continued secret help from Scully on the side, as well as the Lone Gunmen (!!)âbegins to suspect that these killings might actually be related to a pesticide the government is testing on people, but you know how the government gets when you try to claim they're involved in some big conspiracy, la dee da, so it goes.
A man gets laid off work, but that's the least of his problems as technology keeps telling him to kill people; a microwave tells a lady to stab Mulder to death; Mulder gives Frohike Scully's phone number; my notes say there is a handsome cop with nice hair, but I don't know who I was referring to or why I wrote that down; and Mulder's work on the case is ALL DONE. BYE-BYE!
Does someone die in the cold open: He got laid off so he's probably dead inside, but physically everyone is alive. (This does not last long.)
Does Mulder present a slideshow: Still no one to watch. Maybe he makes them for himself and plays them alone in his office and cries.
Does the evidence survive the investigation: Mmmmmmm, not sure. My guess is that the government is planning to get rid of any evidence that they were allowing chemicals to be tested on its citizens, but I'm not sure if Mulder held onto anything or not. I mean, he usually doesn't, so probably not, but -shrug emoji-.
Whodunit: Subliminal messaging caused by a pesticide that the Pennsylvanian government okayed to be tested on the town's residents. I think.
Convictions: None, but the government has to stop spraying people with LSD.
Did they solve it: I'll give it to 'em, why not? Mulder knows what caused it; more or less got a confession, or at least got them to stop doing the thing; and I feel like his report would be one of the less annoying ones he's submitted in his time in the FBI. Good job, Mulder! (And Scully, but unofficially.)
[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]
THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Not being a test subject for government issued pesticides. I mean, like... you can try, but in the end, is it really up to you? What is the government testing on you right now? What have you been exposed to against your will? Is it LSD? It might be LSD, but who's to say for certain? Not being a test subject for government issued pesticides â honestly, you're fucked, so maybe you should just... kill 'em all*... *This company does not endorse homicide, even if those homicidal impulses are the government's fault. Please don't sue us.
***
General Total Stats:
(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)
Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 14 (two in a row!)
Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, It's Me": 6Â
Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 6
Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 8 ½ (i mean, technically that lady came at him with that knife so i'll give him a half point, but i doubt she would have ever been able to actually mortally wound him)Â
Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 8
Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably Intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 13
Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 5 (and there were no worms in the body!)
Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 2
Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 16 (x come back, bb, i miss u)
Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2
Total Number of Times Someone Correctly Guesses a Password: 3Â
Total Number of (Plot Relevant) Nosebleeds: 5 (changed stat to specify plot relevancy, so i can get away with not counting it if someone gets beat up and their nose happens to bleed or something. the nosebleed in this one did make that man homicidal, tho, so i will up the stat lol)
Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 3
Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 3Â
Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 3
Total Number of Times Someone Says "The Truth is Out There": 2
Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 8
Total Number of Maggie Scully Sightings: 1
Total Number of Lone Gunmen Sightings: 2!
Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 0 (BUT GUESS WHAT NEXT EPISODE IS???!!! đđđ)
Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 10½ (shut up)Â
Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 5
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do they ever argue? whatâs that like for a gun god and a chaos demon to fight? and most importantly, how do they make up?
OOH THIS IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION okay I ended up writing an entire essay for this complete with citations so it'll be beneath a read more. You have activated my brain worms, thank you kindly.
So I think that fights between these two are inevitable because they have some really differing core beliefs, especially on the concepts of family and love. A rather overlooked trait of Venuz is that he values respect and is nice to others as can be seen a lot on his Twitter. These are just three examples but there are quite a few more!
In our headcanon he also risked just about everything for Cuz as well. (I totally wanna elaborate more on that but I'll save it for some other time. >:]) Needless to say, Bill would never do this (well, not yet, at least), Mr. "WHO WOULD SACRIFICE EVERYTHING THEY'VE WORKED FOR JUST FOR THEIR DUMB SIBLING?" over here.
Every relationship goes through a "honeymoon phase" where the initial euphoria and lovey-dovey stuff is at its highest point. I think that Venuz was very much overwhelmed by this honeymoon phase and was willing to forgive or disregard just about everything Bill did that he'd ordinarily be really uncool with.
Eventually, though, that has to wear off, and he'll be forced to confront that yeah actually I'm kinda not cool with some of this behaviour.
Cuz is definitely his breaking point in tolerating Bill's lack of regard or respect for others. It starts to bother him to the point where he's like "ok u gotta leave him alone yo" and Bill would probably either deny completely that he's messing with him (which Venuz isn't falling for, Cuz has told him enough already) or say something like "SO WHAT? HE'S JUST A STUPID KID" and either way that's gonna piss Venuz off. Bill's constant abuse of his maids would definitely bother him, too. So yeah, that is the main problem they have -- Venuz values respect and Bill has none.
As to how they'd actually deal with it? Well I can imagine eventually Venuz says something like "if u ain't gonna respec my famili dis ain't gonna work" and Bill is really upset by that and goes full on the defensive and throws a tantrum / pity party like "WELL NOBODY EVER RESPECTED ME" blah blah blah trying to justify why he's an asshole and that's okay because he's the victim always.
Venuz has gotten to know him enough by now to the point where he can kinda understand where this is coming from even if he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and his little fit just makes Venuz feel bad for him. He thinks "wow he iz rly fukkd up. i can fix him". If he isn't willing to try to tame the beast at least a little bit I don't think this relationship would work out at all, lmao.
So, yeah, I'm sure most fights are based around that general concept. Bill calls the waiter a worthless three-dimensional skin-puppet or something and Venuz sprays him with a water bottle. And vise versa, too, probably; "YOU'RE TOO SOFT, YOU SHOULD BURN THAT MORTAL ALIVE".
Otherwise, though, smaller stuff they disagree on is definitely to what extent they should do "mortal stuff" like sleeping and eating or whatever. Venuz likes to do those things. Sure, he is a god, he could do anything he wants, but he chooses to eat, chooses to sleep, even chooses to have a job.
Bill is mortal now, so he needs to sleep and eat, but he's going to be obnoxious about that for as long as he can. After all, he's not really a mortal, this is only temporary! He's like Venuz, a deity beyond biology or responsibility! The rules don't apply to him!
I think Venuz is often frustrated that Bill can rarely ever just spend a chill evening in the living room cuddling with him, and Bill is frustrated that Venuz is wasting his time with those things. Heck, I'm sure Bill's extra frustrated because he wants Venuz's power; he's not using it, so it may as well go to him anyway! Nevermind the fact that Venuz is clearly living a lot happier life than Bill is, hahaha.
This totally develops as time goes on, though; Venuz spends more time taking Bill on little adventures around the galaxy and bringing him on Wasteland runs to set shit on fire with him, and Bill is more willing to indulge in lying around just enjoying one another's presence or spending evenings stargazing. Relationships are all about compromise and these two care about each other enough to be willing to do that, whether consciously or not. :)
~ Mod Emily đŚ
#ask box#mod emily#love triangles au#yungbill#yung venuz#bill cipher#nuclear throne#gravity falls#gun godz
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Tooru Oikawa x Affectionate Tall Male reader? Like the reader is a middle blocker and tends to ruffle his hair a lot and Oikawa just gets really flustered all the time because....dumb gay boy in love đ
Ok but Oikawa getting flustered >>> anything else
ââââââ
Drabble - Oikawa x Affectionate! Tall! Male reader
â ď¸Warnings - none
Pronouns - Male, he/him
ââââââ
âDumb Iwa-chan! Baka! Baaaaka!â
Oikawa pulled his under eyelid, sticking out his tongue in the direction Iwaizumi walked off to. He was left standing in the middle of the court, balls scattered around him and the net standing tall and lonely.
He was about to start dramatically yelling at the door again, until two large hands covered his eyes. Oikawas throat went dry.
âGuess who, Kawa-kun.â
Oikawa felt his knees go weak when the person moved his hands to wrap around his shoulders even before he could answer. He did his best to smile all confidently.
â(Y-Y/n)-chan! Oh good timing I...I was just complaining about Iwa-chan not wanting to help me practice my serves.â Oikawa puffed out his chest and closed his eyes. He felt (Y/nâs) chest vibrate with every chuckle that came out of him, as well as his arms tightening from behind him. God, he was so warm. Please offer to help him on his serves. Please please please-
âYâknow, I can help you practice your serves.â
Yes! Oikawa grinned, the same grin he showed off to his fangirls and fan club. He turned around.
He turned around with the expectation that (Y/n) would sadly remove his arms and step back from him, but (Y/n) stood firm and Oikawa wriggled back to face him. His arms were still wrapped around Oikawaâs shoulders, this time huddling him into his broad chest.
âU-uh...aha-â
(Y/n) brought his right hand up to caress the back of his head, his other hand snaking down and worming its way around Oikawas waist. Oikawa held his breath, tensing up ever so slightly.
âYour hair is so frickinâ soft...lets stay like this for a while, yeah?â (Y/n) closed his eyes and slotted his head on top of Oikawaâs. It didnât help that he was one of the tallest guys on the team either, because now Oikawa had a front row seat the to the smell of (Y/nâs) colonge sprayed that morning on his neck, barely noticable under his natural bodyâs scent and wearing off throughout the day. But Oikawa could smell it, and god did he want to bury himself in (Y/nâs) stupidly long arms.Â
(Y/n) swayed left and right with Oikawa stiffly holding his breath from underneath him, now being able to feel the vibrations of his alluring voice as he hummed a tune he found on a commercial stuck in his head at the moment. He continued humming and rocking Oikawa in his arms, as if he were trying to lure him to sleep with his voice alone.
Oikawa suddenly sputtered, a cough he suppressed from the breath he forgot he was holding. He mustâve forgotten to take a breath in once (Y/n) wrapped him up so gently in his arms. Speaking of that, (Y/n) loosened his grip on Oikawa, finally taking that step back to examine Oikawaâs flushed face with concern. Oikawa couldnât tell if his face was red because of his stupid crush or because he forgot to breathe.
âOh, sorry.â (Y/n) grinned, ruffling Oikawaâs hair with his dominant hand. This time, Oikawa made sure to breathe, but the warm, tingly feeling pulsing from his head from (Y/nâs) callused hand made him shrink back a bit.Â
âP-Pra..haahct-tice...â
âOh! Yes, yes, thatâs right! I agreed to help you practice...â (Y/n) bashfully retracted his hand, rubbing them together as he walked past Oikawa to pick up some stray balls he found on the ground. He swooped them up into his long armâs, and Oikawa couldnât help but fantasize about his long arms around him again.Â
(Y/n) looked back. Oikawa was standing there, dumbly staring at (Y/n) with a blank, red face adorning his once cool features. âYou good, man?â
Oikawaâs eyes momentarily widened, before he shook his head off and plastered a forced smile on his face. âTotally fine, (Y/n)-chan!â he said, making (Y/n) smile in return. When (Y/n) turned back around however, Oikawa dropped his smile and replaced it with a flustered pout.
'Dumb (Y/n)-chan! Baka! Baaaaka!'
ââââââ
#haikyuu x male reader#hq drabbles#haikyuu drabbles#oikawa toru x reader#oikawa headcanons#tooru oikawa x you#oikawa x male reader#oikawa tooru#oikawa tooru x you#oikawa tooru x reader#tooru oikawa#haikyuu headcanons
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Hey love! I was wondering if I could request first date with Eren? And maybe how nervous they both are but it gets really cute and fluffy? Modern or canon is fine!
hi aimee!! đĽ°â¤ i definitely had fun with this scenario! i made it into modern au, because i would probably butcher canon Eren đ anyway i hope you enjoy sexy lady and thank you again for requesting! âĄ
First Date Jitters
Pairings: Eren Jaeger x Fem!Reader
Warnings: None
A shaky sigh came from Eren's mouth as he looked in the mirror. He just got out of the shower, his date was currently in an hour with (Y/N) and he couldn't be more nervous.
It was his first date with her.
Eren knew (Y/N) for a pretty long time, the two attended the same high school and they both were in the same Physics class. He always thought she was a pretty girl, he just never really had much guts to ask her out.
They both got close fairly quick, they talked every night, facetimed, met up to talk before going to lectures, the two seemed genuinely really interested in one another.
When he asked her to go see a movie with him, he was a blushing mess and he could barely even make eye contact with her. Of course, she said yes and here he was now, getting ready to pick her up.
"You're really this nervous?" his roommate, Armin, asked.
Eren looked at Armin before leaning against the counter. "W-Well.. a little bit," he replied.
The blonde approached him, "You got this Eren, just be yourself! You've known (Y/N) for a long time anyway." a smile formed on his lips.
Eren really wish he could say he's got it, but he felt butterflies in his stomach. Yeah he knew her for a long time, but he's never hung out alone with her and seeing the way the two acted around one another... he had every right to be nervous. Eren liked (Y/N).
Eren looked at his phone, the screen displayed that he had less than an hour before he had to go get her.
"What if I mess this up?" Eren asked, looking Armin with concern.
Armin patted his shoulder, "You aren't as long you treat her with respect and make sure you don't do anything that makes her uncomfortable," he said.
He sighed, his nerves felt high still and he couldn't help it. He didn't want his anxiousness to ruin the date and it would be horrible if she was turned off by it! He just wanted to make a good impression, that's all.
On the other hand, (Y/N) was feeling the same way about this date. She was a nervous wreck and her stomach was knotted up from everything.
"I don't even know what to wear!" she exclaimed.
Her roommate, Sasha, was trying her best to calm her down.
"(Y/N)! Relax! It's just Eren.. he definitely has seen you in bummy outfits. Just wear some jeans and a nice shirt," she said, standing up and walking towards her closet.
(Y/N) plopped down on her bed, she felt her heart thumping in her chest. "Ugh.. I just.. I don't wanna ruin this! Eren is really cute and I don't wanna come off as a weirdo," she said.
Sasha rubbed her back, "You aren't gonna ruin it (Y/N), Eren is a really nice guy, if I thought you were gonna mess this up I would have told you to not even bother going."
Her phone suddenly vibrated which made her scramble to grab it.
Sasha looked up, "What did he say?" she asked.
(Y/N) looked at the text from Eren.
Eren: hey! i'm almost ready, should i come get you soon?
"He's asking if he should come get me," she replied, looking at Sasha.
"Girl go find a damn outfit! Stop freaking out woman!" Sasha said.
(Y/N) went towards her closet and grabbed an outfit. Some ripped dark jeans and a white spaghetti tank top, she added a bracelet and fixed up her hair.
"How does it look?" she asked, looking at Sasha.
Sasha gave a thumbs up. "You look sexy! He won't be able to resist you in that," she smirked.
As if on cue, her phone suddenly vibrated again.
Eren: i'm on my way!
"He's on his way.." she said, grabbing some perfume and spraying it onto her skin.
"You got this! I believe in you (Y/N)!" Sasha said, smiling at her.
She really wished she could believe that.
Eren chewed his bottom lip as he drove to (Y/N)'s apartment building, his heart thumped in his chest and his stomach did flips as he got closer to the address.
Armin told him not to worry, but he couldn't help worrying. He liked her and this was the only time he could show it.
He pulled up in front of the building and sent her a text letting him know he was there. His leg shook as he patiently waited.
Calm down Eren, she's not gonna be weirded out. Eren thought to himself.
(Y/N) suddenly appeared, she exited her building and got into Eren's car.
"Hey!" she said, smiling at him.
Eren gave her smile, "Hey! You look nice.." he said, looking at her outfit.
Her cheeks grew warm, "T-Thank you.. you look nice yourself," she replied.
A dust of pink hinted onto Eren's cheeks. His nerves still feeling high and he was trying his best to not make it noticeable.
He started driving to the movie theatre, there was some awkward silence in the car.
"S-So.. um, how are you doing?" he asked.
She fidgeted with her fingers. "Um.. I'm okay? I guess? I've just been stressing with exams and all that," she replied.
Her gaze made its way to Eren, he looked really good right now. He was wear a black crewneck with black jeans, his cologne filled her nose. It was a pine and vanilla scent.
"I'm doing okay too.. that physics final really beat my ass but other than that I'm alright," he said, his eyes looking at her in the passenger seat.
She laughed a bit, "It was hard for sure," she said, looking out the window. "Do you have a movie picked out?"
Eren turned into the theatre. "Actually no, I was hoping to pick one with you." he replied.
She nodded her head, "Sounds good!" she smiled.
Eren parked his car and the two got out, (Y/N) silently prayed Eren didn't see her shaky legs as she walked with him into the theatre. She picked at the skin of her nails, her heart racing as he came next to her.
"We should see a horror movie, if you want." he said.
Her gaze averted towards him, "That sounds like fun! I love horror movies," she replied.
Eren felt his heart hammering in his chest, she smelled great and her overall persona was making him nervous. A million thoughts were rushing into his head, what if he did something embarrassing? What if she was uncomfortable?
"Hello! How may I help you?" the clerk asked, nodding her head at the two.
"U-Uh.. two tickets for The Conjuring 2," Eren replied, taking out his wallet.
(Y/N) was about to take out her own when Eren stopped her. "I got it."
Her cheeks were warm from the gesture, no guy had ever paid for a date before. Well, any guy she's been on a date with.
Eren grabbed the tickets and lead (Y/N) inside the theatre, the smell of popcorn and sweets filled into her nose making her stomach growl slightly.
"You want anything?" Eren asked, looking down at her.
She looked at the different snacks, "U-Um.. not really," she replied, looking away from his gaze.
He grabbed some sour gummy worms and some Hershey's kisses. His two favorite candies, sweet and sour.
He put it onto the counter, the guy behind it scanned it and Eren handed him the bill. "Come on," he said, nodding his head to the side.
(Y/N) swallowed thickly as she followed Eren to the theatre, she felt her body growing warm and her heart beginning to race again. What if Eren is weirded out by the way she's acting? What if he saw her shaky legs? Ugh.. this was all too much.
He held the door open for her as she entered the room, "Thanks.." she whispered.
Eren followed after her, she made her way up the steps towards the back, many people were already seated and watching the different movie trailers that played on the screen.
"Have you seen this one before?" Eren asked in a whisper.
She nodded, "No.. scary movies do freak me out though," she replied.
Eren smiled at the thought of her being scared, "Don't worry.. I'll protect you," he said, chuckling a bit.
Her cheeks grew hot again, "Please do.." she replied.
He was surprised at that answer, a blush formed onto his cheeks hearing her words.
Within a few minutes the movie started, it was the usual talk about demons and ghosts, as well as an introduction to who the Warren's were. Eren had seen this movie a million times, but it was always a classic favorite of his.
(Y/N) was moving her feet around and shaking her leg, what if she embarrassed herself right now?
Suddenly a jumpscare flashed and many people jumped including (Y/N), a small squeak escaped her mouth as she gripped Eren's arm.
He turned red feeling her touch, it took her a minute but (Y/N) soon noticed her squeeze around his arm.
"Sorry!" she whispered, trying her best to ignore the growing heat on her cheeks.
Eren swallowed thickly, "N-No.. don't apologize! Um.. here," he said.
She looked over to see him moving the armrest between them, he pulled it up so the space between them was now opened. His arms wide for her.
"Y-You don't have to.. of course.." he mumbled, his cheeks bright pink.
She looked at the screen then back at him, "N-No! You're fine.. I just don't wanna make you uncomfortable.." she whispered.
"You won't.." he replied.
That's when she leaned into his chest, she could feel her hands trembling as she placed them onto his stomach. Eren's heart thumping against his chest could be heard from her ear. His arm found its way around the flesh of her waist, tightening around her so she'd feel a sense of security.
Another jumpscare flashed and she jumped again, Eren smiled at that. He found it.. cute?
"Sorry.." she whispered.
His hand found its way to her hair, "Don't worry about it.."
She looked up at him then back at the screen, the different screams and yelling coming from the people in the movie filled her ears.
Eventually, the movie came to an end. (Y/N) was so comfortable on his chest she almost wanted to lay there the whole time, but considering how late it was, that wasn't exactly an option.
She rose from her seat, cracking her joints and stretching. She turned to meet Eren's gaze on her, he was standing and stretching himself.
"What'd you think?" he asked with a smile.
She giggled, "Not bad.. but it was scary."
He hummed in response, "Let's head out," he said.
She nodded before following him down the steps and exiting the showing room. Her eyes adjusted to the light, making her squint a little. Eren tossed his snacks into the garbage since he finished them during the movie.
He held the door open as he exited the theatre, (Y/N) shivered as she walked out. The cold air enveloping her skin.
"I should have brought a jacket.." she said, laughing a bit.
Eren raised his brows, "Here," he said.
She furrowed her brows watching Eren take off his crewneck, he had a white shirt underneath it. She could faintly see the skin of his stomach as he lifted it off him.
"Eren you don't have to-"
"No, let me. It'd be rude of me to let you shiver here.. so take it, I don't mind." Eren replied, holding the fabric out for her.
She smiled, taking it and throwing it over herself. It was warm and his scent was all over it, she felt comfort in it.
"Thank you.." she said, her cheeks growing hot again.
Eren rubbed the back of his neck, a smile forming on his lips. "No problem!"
The two went to his car and climbed in to drive back to her apartment, Eren and (Y/N) were more comfortable with each other now. They joked around, talked about the movie, and talked about other movies they'd like to see with each other.
Eren put the car in park as he pulled up to the front of her apartment building.
She removed her seatbelt and looked at him. "Thank you for tonight.. it was really fun," she smiled.
He smiled himself, "Yeah no problem! I had a lot of fun too.. don't worry about my shirt either, you can keep it." he replied.
"Sounds good! Um.. I guess I'll see you in class?" she asked, nodding her head.
Eren shook his head, "No yeah! I'll see you then," he replied.
She began to make her way out of his car.
"Wait!"
Her head turned back towards him. "Hm? What's up?" she asked, blinking a few times.
"Uh.. u-um, I just.. I had a lot of fun tonight, you know? I was- u-um.. wondering if you.. wanted to hangout again?" he said, his cheeks visibly pink.
She giggled, "Of course! I would love to hangout with you.. maybe a second date?" she said.
His heart swelled, "Y-Yeah! That sounds great!" he replied.
She smiled before leaning in to press her lips on his cheek, "See you later."
Eren's eyes went wide, but nonetheless he felt flustered and excited. "Have a good night," he said, smiling.
She exited his car and waved, she disappeared into her apartment building.
Eren smiled at he pulled off towards the road, who knew this date would go so well? He was definitely eager to see (Y/N) again.
#anime#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#aot x reader#aot x y/n#aot fanfiction#aot imagines#snk x y/n#snk x reader#snk fanfiction#snk imagines#shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction#eren jaeger#eren jaeger x reader#eren x reader#attack on titan fanfiction#anime fanfic
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Wet Hot American Summer
August 18 Zoey and I thought we fixed the leak in my tent but we were wrong. I spent the early morning inching away from a puddle that finally pushed me out around 8 am - time to get up anyway. Too rainy to cook or make coffee and I left camp aimlessly. I could barely see anything through the smoke and clouds which threw a wrench in my non-plan to drive around and take photos out the car window. Grand Tetons and Montana and Wyoming were up there on my teenage bucket list (lmao, dream big!), mostly for the landscapes and western vibes and maybe a few cathartic renditions of Wide Open Spaces. I just hiked all summer so I feel like I earned a few days of all-american automobile tourism.
Cozy
Decision fatigue is a ball buster on solo trips (and in life) and sometimes I refuse to change course even when itâs clear that a plan isnât going to work out. I drove around Tetons alternately listening to the directions and making random navigational decisions, so Google kept yelling at me to make a u-turn. Eventually I got annoyed with both of us and stopped for snacks at the general store. Iâve been making my way through all the kettle chip flavors and so far honey dijon is the best and korean bbq is the worst.
Drove straight through to Yellowstone hoping the storm would let up, but by the time I got there it was 50 degrees with rain expected all afternoon. I thought it would be SUMMER once I left the Bay Area, so all my sweaters and warm jackets are in vacuum sealed bags that I donât have the space in my car to open. I wasnât loving the idea of being wet and cold in Yellowstone all night so I talked the campground lady into refunding my site reservation and headed for Big Sky, Montana.
I felt bad leaving without seeing any of the Yellowstone sights so I stopped at Old Faithful on my way out. I knew laughably little about what I was looking at and when a bunch of people started gathering I thought to myself, is this thing gonna explode or something?? And ya turns out thatâs the entire point, it shoots a bunch of water and steam into the air every few minutes. I bought a cup of coffee and watched halfheartedly. The only other attraction I know about is the rainbow glory hole and there was so much traffic to park in the lot I said screw it and went on to Montana.
No LTE between Yellowstone and Big Sky and I was without a place to sleep - luckily my sister was available to do some emergency concierge work for me. I eventually found a nice campground near town but the obscene number of bear country warning signs freaked me out. I backtracked to Big Sky to buy a $50 can of bear spray, what a rip. Feeling beat today so I made it up to myself with a bowl of chicken curry ramen and a Sapporo. It was no nugget curry, but it did the job âşď¸
Reading the bear spray instructions before bed - youâre supposed to use it once a charging bear is two to three seconds from reaching you. Wtf. I canât do anything in two seconds. Finished Year of the Monkey at last. Almost fell asleep with a candy wrapper in my pocket, instant death. Also I got my period and Iâm worried this is going to attract the bears.
August 19 I broke my own rule. I drove to Bozeman this morning and had a chicken fried steak at the Western Cafe, âThe Last Best Cafe.â I had a nice chat with two old guys at the bar, initiated by ME! We talked about my trip so far and books (I was reading Walden Two and one of the guys had Woman in the Window with him, and we agreed that both authors are pretty nuts). Good time all around and then one of them secretly bought my breakfast 𼰠Iâve only ever had creepy men buy me drinks at bars so free CFS with no strings attached was a revelation. My smile lit up the cold dark streets of Bozeman.
Too early for hostel check-in so I killed some time hanging out in a coffee shop and wandering around Main Street. When Iâm alone in a new city I usually get on the apps, itâs fun to hang out with a real LOCAL and have an AUTHENTIC experience. I did this on my first night in Sydney last year and my date won $7,000 at a bar raffle heâd been going to every week for three years and then bought us a nightâs worth of top shelf shots, bad coke, and dumplings. Obviously I was his good luck charm so I shouldâve gotten a cut of that $$$ but whatever⌠Eventually we went back to his depressing loft outside of the city. It was barely furnished and full of his shitty art and luckily he didnât have any condoms so I was able to decline sex without feeling guilty (I had condoms of course but didnât disclose). He tried to fuck me again around 4 am and I was so confused I thought he must have found a condom while I was briefly sleeping. He had not. I snuck out at 6 am and caught the bus back to the city. Not the most restful night but nice to get away from the hostel for a little while. But ya I updated my Hinge location to Bozeman and got hella conservative men swiping on me 𼴠My profile isnât anything crazy but I donât think Iâm giving off Megyn Kelly vibes. Are they playing some sort of sexual bingo? Are they out to stealth me? Seems sus.
If you are a man on Hinge with a naked photo on your profile I WILL screenshot it and I WILL make a collage of my collection once I have enough material and I WILL sell it as a NFT and I WILL make $0 cuz yâall are freaks. This is the tamest one Iâve got, text me if you want a photo of a naked man covering his junk with a pineapple.
Ooooieee hostel is grungy and subterranean and not the kinda place you want to spend many conscious hours in. I took myself to the movies to escape - another thing I really missed last year. I saw The Night House, which I would describe as an architectural horror? Iâve been thinking about architecture a lot lately, this cool site Zoey sent me has some interesting interviews and stuff. In the movies I ate an entire bag of sour gummy worms and a box of junior mints.
Had a freaky bookstore experience earlier today, not the first time this summer. I originally wrote a longgg paragraph about synchronicity here but I got self conscious and started wondering if hearing other peopleâs stories about synchronicity is like listening to them talk about their dreams. I personally love talking about dreams (call me and tell me about your crazy dreams!!) but things definitely get lost in translation and sometimes theyâre straight boring (like when my old coworkers and I used to dream in Excel, fucckkk). So I get why people find it annoying and here at Bog Girl Summer we canât afford to alienate any of our readers. All I will say is that I walked into a bookstore today with synchronicity very much on my mind, went to the psychology section to buy a baby Jung text, and there saw a literal sign that said âStaff Pick, Introductory Jung: Synchronicity.â So yes, I bought it. Donât forget yâall - I have a psychology degree so please donât come after me about confirmation bias and all that lol. Itâs very possible that in this summer of upheaval Iâm desperate for some kinda sign that Iâm on the right path. Let me have this one đ
I also bought this postcard which spoke to me because most days I feel like Iâm trying to drink out of a firehose
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a dream of memoryâa clone wars fic, ch. 1/5
title: a dream of memory on ao3 prologue main relationship: anakin and ahsokaâs brotp summary: After Ahsokaâs duel with Vader and having accepted the reality of Vaderâs identity, she enters the Sith Temple on Malachor in search of answersâanswers of how things came to be. The Sith Temple acquiesces to her wish for the truth, but in the process she gets more than she bargains for.
a/n: I am SUPER excited to share thisâIâve been working on this for half a year. please like/reblog/leave a comment on ao3 if u enjoy!!!
Her arm still twinged like a bantha bite, despite the bacta spray she always carried with her.
âTo defeat your enemy, you have to understand them.â
She had said those very words to Ezra just a few hours ago, but after a battling three different Sith lords one after another, a world-hopping adventure with an mysteriously older Ezra, and finding herself in the now deserted ruins of the Sith temple on Malachor, it felt more like several lifetimes ago. Kriff, sheâd had bad days before, but this one had to rank among the worst.
And now, she was doing something that she was quite sure would make her day even worse.
Ahsoka ran her fingers along the wall of the dark corridor as she continued to step down, down, down, deeper into the gaping maw of the ruined Sith temple, careful to avoid touching any runes carved into the walls. Morai flitted about above her, hooting dolefully.
âI donât know where Iâm going either,â Ahsoka told the bird, âBut Iâll know when I get there.â
It was a feeling that drove her, a feeling sheâd had ever since she sensed Darth Vader (Anakin) above Lothal. It had only grown stronger since then, nudging and guiding her onto a path that seemed to inevitably lead back to her old master. Even now, the feeling burned in her heart, like the way Anakinâs yellow eye had burned, lit with the eerie glow of his ruined mask. She stopped, guilt and grief threatening to wash over her completely.
She knew sheâd denied it all along. Deep down, she had already known since the siege of Lothal, and after her vision, it seemed all but certain. But she had clung to some desperate hope that she was mistaken, that she had misinterpreted her visions, her instincts. When she climbed to the top of the temple, drawing up to her full height as Vader turned to face herâsomething crumbled inside her. When the cold and fear and anger and hate was laid bare right before her eyes, she couldnât admit it to herself. That the black, twisted monster before her was the same person that had trained her, raised her, and loved her like familyâthat the half-droid half-human wreck was a corruption of her cherished memories of her older brother.
And when she was faced with the irrevocable truth of Vaderâs identity, all she could think was:
Why?
A soft splash sounded as Ahsoka stepped into a large chamber, icy cold water chilling her feet. Ahsoka shivered. She waded out into the center until the water reached her waist. She was here.
 I want the truth.
The truth? Â The temple rumbled with a musing hum, and smoke curled around her. Â There are many truths in this world, little Jedi.
 I am no Jedi.
Faint amusement, mixed withâintrigue.
 There are many truths in this worldâright?
A thoughtful, waiting silence pressed down upon her.
She considered, tilting back her head, watching the dust dance in the thin light streaming through the still crumbling cracks of the temple. Â After so many years, she was used to half-truths and secrets, filtered through like the light worming its way into the temple. Certainty was an illusion. Â The illusion of family, the illusion of safety, of security, of the faith in oneâs friends. Â Ignorance, yet knowledge, she thought wryly.
She closed her eyes, allowing her mind to wander down into the past. Â Then, she thought, I want to know how a good man falls.
The world held its breath, and thenâ
Careful of what you find.
She inhaled sharply, andâ
to be continued. (aka itâs time for FREAKY FORCE VISIONS and clone wars feels!!!!!)
#ahsoka tano#the clone wars#tcw fic#sw fanfic#sw fic#tcw fanfic#anakin skywalker#star wars#mywriting
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So here are my endless thoughts on SVU & OC, all under the cut bc I get rambly and incoherent lmaooooo so here goes the format is shit bc Iâm on mobile but are we surprised lmao
SVU
It is a crime that we never got to see the dress Liv was wearing to her ceremony A CRIME I know it was a lewk I KNOW IT WAS
The Liv/Elliot stare down dkdkdkkdkddk pls theyâre just looking at each other like theyâre trying to make sure theyâre both really there
The flashback to the episode where pregnant Kathy is in a car accident with Liv was a crime against me, specifically, bc how dare you make me deal with those emotions while Liv is also dealing with them with that 100 yard stare WHY
Finâs âyouâre gonna have to ask himâ to Liv in the hospital đ¤ his âyouâll have to ask her thatâ to Elliot in the bar or whatever
The whispered convo in the corner of Livâs office hello intimacy lmao personal space whomst Liv and Elliot donât know her and they never have AND THEN when Elliot says âletâs work itâ like theyâre still partners, LIKE THEYâRE PARTNERS FOR LIFE, IF YOU WILL
Liv spent so much of their partnership pushing him to be with his family and she STILL has to do it even ten years later after heâs broken her heart she loves him so much she loves his kids she wants nothing but the best for him so she keeps pushing him to go back to his family, to visit Kathy in the hospital, but noooooooooooo hardheaded Elliot Stabler just canât do it
âI give you my word Iâll behaveâ so u just gon lie like that to her FACE when you havenât seen her IN TEN YEARS DKSKDKSKSKSKSK LYING IS GONNA BE ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS YOU DO and also when he started rolling up his sleeves??? BRAIN ROT IMMEDIATELY BRAIN EMPTY
LIV HOLDING ELLIOT BACK, HIM ALL IN HER PERSONAL SPACE, THE RAISED VOICE FOLLOWED BY THE WHISPER, THE LINGERING EYE CONTACT DKDKDKDKDKDK IF YâALL DONâT FUCKIN SMOOCH IN THIS BITCH
Actually okay the whole interrogation room scene bc seeing them in interrogation with each other is painful enough, but the looks Liv keeps giving him while heâs talking to the suspect dkdkkddkdkdk the last time she was in an interrogation room when she could still feel Elliotâs presence around her was when she was crying after he put in his papers YES I AM CRYING THANK U and then the suspect says âwhy arenât you in the hospital with your wifeâ and itâs practically the same thing Liv told him but he can hear that kind of stuff from her and be okay but when anyone else is questioning his loyalty to his family it sets him off (not that she was questioning his loyalty but you get what Iâm saying) and UGH the way Liv keeps an eye on him as he moves around the room to make sure he doesnât fuckin lose it
She bumped into him on the roof ON PURPOSE she didnât have to be that close to him thereâs plenty of room on the roof for the two of them but itâs like sheâs questioning if heâs really there and then you have to wonder how many conversations has she had with him mentally or in her dreams that she has to fuckin shoulder check him on the roof to ensure heâs really there, that sheâs really talking to HIM
Elliotâs Catholic guilt rearing its ugly head as he caresses the head of his dying wife while he has so much he wants and needs to say to Liv.......am I overthinking this I thinketh not
KATHY NOT BELIEVING ELLIOT TELLING HER HE HASNâT SPOKEN TO LIV IN TEN YEARS AND LIV HAVING TO CONFIRM THAT ITâS TRUE IâM DKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKDKS LIV WAS THE GLUE HOLDING THAT GODDAMN FAMILY TOGETHER AND SHE COULDNâT EVEN RECEIVE THE LOVE SHE SO DESPERATELY WANTED???? NEEDED??????? FROM ELLIOT BC OF IT IâM DJDJDJSSKSKSKSK
Liv watching Elliot kiss Kathyâs forehead through the glass door of that hospital room, like sheâs been forced to look in on that marriage from the outside for YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The symbolism!!!!!!!!!!!
The waiting room hospital scene yes this will be burned into my brain forever thank u. Neither of them can sit still when theyâre around each other now itâs like itâs too much all at once especially Liv she keeps moving and fidgeting and when they ARE still theyâre so CLOSE to each other like they canât bear for there to be any distance, not anymore, not now
They tell each other they love each other without saying the words and it kills me every single time I canât live like this I wish they were better at talking about their feelings
ANOTHER WHISPERED/BREATHY âELLIOTâ with that side eye YES LIV LET HIM KNOW HE FUCKED UP dkskdkdkdkdk and then she told him she LOVED HIM âyou were the single most important person in my life and you just.....disappearedâ god this really tears my heart out every time I think about it bc the look in her eyes just đđđ
âI was afraid if I heard your voice I wouldnât have been able to leaveâ GOD DID YâALL KNOW IT ONLY TAKES THREE WORDS EACH TO SAY I LOVE YOU DID YOU KNOW THAT DID YOU KNOW YOU COULD CONSERVE OXYGEN AND SAY ONLY THREE WORDS OBVIOUSLY NOT
Liv having to stand up for Elliot once again and defend him to people who donât see him the way she does, the way he deserves to be seen, sheâs had to do it for years when they were partners and now sheâs doing it again when heâs only been back like a day and a half
Iâve already talked about the bar scene with Elliot and Fin a bajillion times but!!!!!!!!!!!!! Itâs just such a good fuckin scene and the emotions and the mannerisms from Elliot are just *chefâs kiss* that man loves Liv so much and heâs so upset heâs missed so much of Livâs life ugh just thinking about his âwhoâs the guy?â and how he must be thinking back to âyouâre the longest relationship Iâve ever had with a manâ and how that may still be true but that doesnât mean she hasnât moved on and found someone else to take his place in her heart, in her life, to give her the child she always wanted WHEW
LIV DKDKDKDKDK âPhoebe just said I love you and you couldnât say it back?â MAâAM YOU CANâT EVEN TELL THE MAN YOU LOVE THAT YOU LOVE HIM PLS STOP JUDGING FIN DKDKDKDKDDKDK
Liv calling Elliot âStablerâ why does that shit hurt my heart so bad dkdkdkdkdkdks CALL HIM EL AGAIN PLS
Amanda likening her relationship with Liv to Livâs relationship with Kathy? No maâam. No. Somebody get the spray bottle tell her to shut the fuck up
Elliot called Liv before he called any of his kids about Kathy HE CALLED HER FIRST no Iâm fine this is fine thatâs just something youâd do like if you loved someone or something lmao def nothing suspicious here
I will never stop talking about that hug okay bc Elliot IS SOBBING and he nuzzles into Livâs shoulder and she wants to keep her walls up and remain distant but her eyes close and she settles into it too god itâs such a GOOD hug you can FEEL the emotions
âI didnât get to say goodbyeâ hello parallels between Elliot and his wife and Liv, the love of his life again this is fine Iâm fine
Liv putting his family first and offering to call his kids for him fkdkdkdkdkks god will she ever put herself first with ANYONE or will she always put herself on the back burner can we PLEASE GET LIV SOME LASTING HAPPINESS IN THIS BITCH
Even tho Elliot said he didnât need her to call his kids it absolutely looks like she DID get his kids and take them to him in the chapel like thatâs how it comes across and idk if they did that on purpose or what but thatâs what it looks like idk man it just really kills me bc she just keeps putting his family first and keep them together SHE IS THE GLUEEEEEEEEEE IN THAT FAMILY
âI can be objectiveâ not with Elliot miss maâam and you know that like itâs cute that you think that but đđđ we all know JUST LIKE WE ALL KNOW that technically youâre off the case but you wonât be off the case youâll keep looking into things when you can bc thatâs your partner, your Elliot, and you canât not keep looking into it
OC
When Elliot goes downstairs at the courthouse and he starts speaking Italian to those dudes he arrested or whatever and then he starts threatening them and he does the throat slash motion as he gets taken away dkskskskskks BRAIN WORMS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is that so HOT!!!!!!! @ myself get it together
Iâve already talked about the snow scene in the park but I am not done I will never be done bc the tension!!!!!!!!!!!! Liv wonât hold eye contact for too long and neither will he and I am DYING the small talk is so awkward and then he says âyou woulda loved itâ about his place in Rome meaning he was THINKING ABOUT HER WHILE HE WAS AWAY
âElliot, I canâtâ OH MY GOD DKDKDKDK and the way she looks at the letter in his hands dkdkdksksks awh hell
Liv was wearing gloves and Elliot was bare handed as they walked around the city in SVU, when she was showing him the pic of the suspect on her phone and here she is again, wearing gloves while Elliotâs hands are bare but this time she brushes her fingers over his ever so slightly while taking the letter from him. The touch is on purpose, has to be, but itâs like the rooftop scene where she bumps into him to make sure itâs really him. Not to mention the gloves vs bare hands thing - sheâs erected walls up around her heart and her life and she has all these boundaries she wonât let Elliot cross, not now, maybe not ever she tells herself, and as long as she can separate even the smallest amount of her bare flesh from his she just might be able to make it through him being back in town
ELLIOT WANTED HER TO INTRODUCE HIM TO NOAH YOU CAN SEE IT god he mustâve been so torn up about it bc thatâs her kid!!!!!! Heâs a part of her!!!!!!!!! He wants to know everything he missed and she wonât even introduce him to her child!!!!!!!!
Angela Wheatley Iâm free on Thursday if youâd like to hang out on Thursday when I am free
Liv doesnât take her eyes off Elliot at the funeral not once NOT ONCE I know Iâve said this before but sheâs really the glue that holds that goddamn family together and I am DYING
She holds it together for all the kids and Elliot but the second she walks away her face just fuckin CRUMPLES she canât hold it together anymore especially after the way Elliot grabbed her whole ass arm to thank her for going Iâm dkdkskdkdkdkd this is too much this is too much
THEY DELETED THE FUCKIN SCENE WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY IN ELLIOTâS APARTMENT??????? WHY???????? I WANTED TO OVERANALYZE IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay so I know Richard Wheatley is the bad guy but I luv him what a MAN. He really said âfuck you you racist piece of shitâ and killed his own dad fkdkdkdkdkdksk okay WORK RICHARD
SERGEANT BELL I AM AVAILABLE ON THURSDAY LEMME KNOW IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HANG OUT ON THURSDAY WHEN YOU ARE FREE
Bell not taking any sorta shit from Elliot I LUV IT I LUV HER GET HIS ASS DKDKDKDKSKSKS he NEEDS people to keep his ass in line bc he doesnât know how to act not even a lil bit
LIV READ THE LETTER!!!!!! Sheâs the least stand-offish sheâs been to him this whole time WHAT WAS IN THAT LETTER I HAVE TO KNOW
* She knows him too well she knows heâs hiding something from her she knows heâs got something going on but heâs never been good at separating his work from his real life and that hasnât changed, not now, not even with her and she KNOWS somethingâs off the way she looks at him while heâs waiting for the elevator is unreal and the lil half nod he gives her bc he KNOWS he needs to talk to her about that letter, especially when sheâs WILLING TO TALK NOW but the job!!!!!! âYou and the job are about the only thing Iâve got anymoreâ and he doesnât even have her, not like he used to, not like he wants to, so he defaults to the job and trying to figure out who killed Kathy and who has it out for him
Okay I obvs didnât have as much to yell about in OC as I did SVU but Iâm so excited to see how OC goes bc itâs got me intrigued already like I need to know. Everything. About the Wheatleys!!!! EVERYTHING!!!!!!! And I need to see Liv and Elliot interact again pls pls I need it đđđđđ ANYWAYS THE END BYE
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alright fine hereâs the fuckin punk house au summary
putting under a cut for length/content
abandon hope all ye who enter here for there is rpf, genderbends of both the cisswap and the trans variety, some recreational drug use, and one (1) underage character beyond the veil
so anyway punk house. itâs a house. thereâs SO MUCH STUFF in the house and thereâs only really 3 bedrooms but 5 people live there.
itâs kinda tim centric ig and tim is a trans guy who makes zines and is into vulture culture. got a lotta cool dead stuff. heâs like 28 and chris is his boyfriend who is cis and like 22. heâs basically just a shitty baby goth like when he was all greasy during infamous era. chris works at a gas station and tim works at the local goth store/piercing studio/head shop. chris has his own shitty studio apartment because tim doesnât want chris to actually move in cuz heâs got a loft bed and doesnât wanna sacrifice floor space to get a real bed that actually fits both of them comfortably. they do definitely cram into the loft bed when chris stays over but chris whacks his head a lot.
corey and jim are dating also but they don���t technically share a room bc coreyâs a fucking animal. jimâs a trans girl and sheâs also a witch and super crust punk and her love for corey is secondary to her truck which is an old beater from like he early 70s she fixed up. she works on bikes and cars at the local garage and is generally just super grunge butch knockoff jerry cantrell ass. think pre-slipknot long hair jim yâknow. corey is gnc and a disaster. heâs a nuisance yâknow. his âbedroomâ is basically just a closet. mostly hangs out with paul whose room is just a converted living space kinda room right by the front door and paul is the local pansexual polyam mess. he has a bad habit of leaving his door open and half the house sees the genital configuration of whoever heâs hooking up with. his actual boyfriends are sid and #3 chris. shawnâs the token cishet cryptid nobody ever sees him and he has multiple locks and deadbolts on his bedroom door. heâs an artist apparently. nobody knows what the fuck his problem is.
uhhhh ricky is 17 and a baby trans and has a fat crush on justin who is chrisâs co-worker at the gas station. and chris is like justin i s2g if u even LOOK at lil man sideways iâll smear yr brain across the commissary. theyâre def dating the second ricky turns 18 tho. and justinâs like 20 so itâs not actually weird. rickyâs mom drops him off everywhere all the time. ryanâs the pet heterosexual of the bunch and they keep him around cuz he drives and has the weed hookups. all the smokers roast him cuz he vapes and every time he gets a new cart jim has to try it so she can roast him adequately
uh what else lemme think. chris is xvx still and tim is the shittiest vegan on earth heâs just like yeah there was cheese on this pizza but i peeled it mostly off so itâs basically vegan now. jimâs ig profile picture is her truck and she does stick n pokes and taught tim how to do them. tim tattooed RAT QUEEN on her ass. johnâs timâs ex from before tim transitioned and sheâs a cis mostly-lesbian whoâs a stripper/escort who knows paul cuz heâs the bartender at the club she works at and she got tim the room in the first place. tim has a SMOKE GRASS EAT ASS patch on his battle vest but he doesnât even rly smoke weed that often. he just keeps a pack of papers on hand and has like one rly stupid piece like a jack o lantern bong or a hand pipe that looks like worm on a string. when ricky got his first T shot his mom dropped him off at the house afterwards and tim ran out into the driveway with two cans of silly string spraying it all over him and screaming LIL MAN GOT THE DICK JUICE!!! and jim was just like âwelcome to hrt hell just wait till yr genitals start doing weird shit hereâs a congratulatory cigarette donât tell chrisâ. the one time chris has seen shawn shawn took one look at him and said âyou look like youâre into latex and eating assâ and chris just looked at tim like HOW DOES HE KNOW. sometimes shawn pays sid money to be involved in his âexperimental art projectsâ but sid always comes rolling out bleeding and looking well fucked and everyoneâs just like I Pretend I Do Not See It. jim and tim do a lot of leftist vandalism/graffiti and minor property destruction like knocking over those stupid scooters for anarchy reasons. chris has kind of a lot of instagram followers cuz heâs hot and does makeup lewks. paul has pissed in the fountain outside the local mexican restaurant so many times they were forced to remove it.
tagging so i can add to this later if anything needs to be added lmao
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So Blooms the Soul (As Flowers on the Skin)
âUhâŚHaru?â Rin said hesitantly from behind him.
âHm?â Haruka hummed, turning around to regard his best friend, who was looking at him with an incredulous look on his face.
âYour soul markâŚâ Rin said, slowly raising his hand and pointing at the blade of Harukaâs right shoulder. âDid you know itâs bloomed?â
Blue eyes widened and the shock of the question was almost enough to knock Haruka into the pool.
âWh-what?â
AHHHH HERE IT ISSSS my fic for the @nanaseharukabirthdayexchange !!! I was able to write this fic for @lonesome-writer !!!
Milo, thank you so much for including so many fun prompts in your likes list. It was an absolute joy writing this for you and I really hope you like it! ;u;
The fic in its entirety is below the cut, but you can also read it here on AO3!
It was a quiet morning in Tokyo, still early enough to where not a single soul traversed down the street where the Swim Free Flower Shop resided. The sun slowly crept into the clear glass windows of the storefront, greeting the plants inside with its friendly, caring light. The plants, in turn, welcomed the sun in like an old friend, turning to face the windows and soaking up the rays.
 Nanase Haruka loved mornings like this, when he could ready his shop for the day and bask in the peace before the city properly awoke. He breathed in the sweet, fragrant air of the shop as he watered the plants with his mackerel-shaped watering canâa joke gift heâd gotten from Nagisa that Haruka had, unfortunately, grown too fond of to get rid of.
 His effervescent employee sure wormed his way into his heart, Haruka thought with a smile. He poured the last drops of water out of the mackerelâs mouth before setting it aside and going to set up his hose with the spray nozzle to water the larger plants he had on the sales floor.
 It was still early in the summer, and as such, a lot of his perennials were beginning to bloom. The wide array of flowers he had on hand added such a rainbow of colors to his shop, brightening everything up with no effort whatsoever. But he still had some plants that hadnât bloomed yet, that were still trying to grow their buds,like his imported phlox flowers from the United States.
 Blue eyes stared at the buds, still mostly green but with small bursts of purple and violet poking through at the top. According to his research, they wouldnât bloom for at least another month, but that was okay. Heâd take the time to nurture them and help them grow; he had no doubt theyâd be a huge hit when they did bloom, especially considering their natural habitat was overseas.
 But, to be honest, the reason heâd sought them out in the first place was because they were the exact same flower as the soul mark he sported on his back.
 More specifically, his soul mark was on the blade of his right shoulder. Heâd only ever seen it in the mirror or in the occasional photo, and there was no color to it whatsoeverâjust the solid black outlines of a flower that begged to be colored inâso it took him a long time to figure out what kind of flower bud it was.
 And the fact that it was still a bud, not a fully bloomed flower, meant that he still hadnât met his soulmate. Which was fine by him, really. He wasnât really concerned with finding that one person destined to be his other half; he had people in his life that he loved and trusted, and he had his shop. He didnât really need more than that.
 A firm knock on the front door yanked Haruka out of his peaceful musings, immediately filling him with confusion. It was too early for Nagisa to show up for his shift, and several hours until the shop would be open for business. So who�
 Haruka turned around to see a small delivery truck outside, with a tall man in a recognizable uniform waving to him with a smile from outside.
 Ah, it made sense now. Though he usually didnât get his deliveries this earlyâŚ
 Haruka turned off the hose and set it atop the water tank, drying his hands on his apron as he approached the door and turned his master key in the lock.
 âGood morning!â the delivery man greeted as Haruka opened the door, his smile warm and bright.
 Haruka was almost blinded by the genuinely kind and friendly aura he exuded. The florist felt tingles all the way from the top of his head to the tips of his toes, though he had no idea why. He just kept staring at theâmuch tallerâman before him, going slightly lightheaded and losing himself in crystal clear peridot eyes.
 The manâs smile grew a bit uneasy at Harukaâs blatant staring and lack of response, and he tilted his head a bit. Olive brown fringe fell to cover his eyes somewhat, which Haruka found to be an absolute travesty. âUmâŚis there something wrong?â
 Haruka felt like his face was on fireâŚor, more like he felt extremely flushed. Swallowing, he choked out the only thing he could think to say: âYouâre not Sousuke.â
 The man looked adorably confused for about two seconds before his smile returned in full, accompanied by a laugh that may as well have been music to Harukaâs ears. âAh, Yamazaki-kun is driving the truck. Iâm Tachibana Makoto. Iâm new, you see, so heâs driving the route today and Iâm taking care of the customer contact.â
 âOh,â Haruka said intelligently. âThatâŚmakes sense.â
 Tachibanaâs smile didnât dissipate in the slightest as he held up his metal clipboard that contained a bunch of invoices in its grasp. âIt says here I only have four boxes for you todayâŚwhere would you like me to put them?â
 Haruka held the door open wider, kicking the rubber door stopper with his foot until it wedged between the bottom of the door and the floor. âYou can just set them here,â he said, motioning to an open spot between the front window and his bouquet coolers, âand Iâll break them down as I go.â
 âSure thing!â the newbie said, nodding his head before disappearing to his truck. Haruka heard the metallic clangs of the trailer lock, the thump of the ramp coming in contact with the asphalt. All the while he just stood in his shop like a stick in the dirt, trying to regain feeling in his limbs that still felt slightly numb and buzzing with some weird energy. He idly rubbed at his right shoulder, feeling it burn slightly under his touch.
 Tachibana came in with two boxes piled on top of each other, balanced by a dolly. He was humming quietly as he worked, carefully sliding the boxes off the dolly before heading back to the truck for the remainder of the delivery.
 Haruka fished a box cutter out of his apron, slicing the tape on the first box in one swift motion. It contained some different soils heâd ordered, and he set to unpacking the bags and carted them over to the large storage cupboard at the back of the store. When he returned to cut into the second box, Tachibana had also returned with a carton of live plantsâorchids, the shipping label on the side read. The fact that he was carrying such a heavy parcel with relative ease made Haruka unconsciously sneak a glance at the manâs arms. The sleeves of his collared uniform shirt were rolled up to the elbows, and besides the rock hard muscles in his forearms, Haruka also caught a glimpse of a flower bud peeking out from under Tachibanaâs left sleeve. But it was quickly hidden again by the fabric, much too quickly for Haruka to discern what kind of flower bud it was.
 So, Tachibana hadnât met his soulmate yet either.
 âHere, Iâll take that,â Haruka said, reaching his arms out for the box of orchids.
 âOh, no, I���ve got it!â Tachibana insisted with that ever-present smile. âWould you like me to set it elsewhere?â
 Haruka gave up the fight much quicker than he expected of himself, and pointed to the counter lining the back of the store where he typically put together arrangements. âOver there is fine.â
 Tachibana did as he was told, still humming a soft little tune as he made his way to the back of the store.
 As much as Haruka wanted to watch the delivery man, feeling some kind of strange magnetic pull to him that he had a hard time fighting down, he instead wrenched his attention away and headed to the delivery truck outside. He saw his usual delivery guy, Sousuke, sitting in the driverâs seat tapping away on his phone. Sighing, Haruka impatiently rapped on the window with his knuckle to get Sousukeâs attention.
 The dark-haired man rolled down the window and gave Haruka a friendly smirk. âMorning, Haru. Whatâs up?â
 âTraining the new guy by making him do all the work?â Haruka questioned, raising a brow.
 Sousuke snickered and leaned back against the seat. âRelax, heâs doing fine on his own,â he assured his long-time customer and friend. âBesides, my shoulderâs been acting up today. Figured itâd be better if he did the heavy lifting, yâknow?â
 Haruka nodded in understanding, fixing Sousuke with a slightly more serious look. He knew Sousukeâs old swimming injury flared up on occasion, and those days were usually when Haruka would grab his own delivery boxes from the back of the truck. But now that Sousuke had someone helping him on his route, Haruka hoped that the man would give his shoulder a break.
 âUmâŚNanase-san, could you please sign this invoice?â Tachibana said from behind, and Haruka spun around to find him smiling sheepishly at him.
 âThat was fast,â Haruka remarked as he grabbed for the clipboard and pen being offered to him, causing Tachibanaâs handsome face to flush an attractive pink.
 âThanks?â
 A small, unbidden smile made its way onto Harukaâs face as he scratched out a signature of sorts using only the kanji of his surname. He clicked the pen closed and set it atop the clipboard, handing it back to the still blushing Tachibana. âYou can call me Haru, by the way.â
 Tachibana blinked a couple times before seeming to realize he needed to take the clipboard back. âR-really? But weâve only just metâŚâ
 Haruka shrugged. âIf youâre going to be a regular on this route, weâre gonna get to know each other eventually. Iâd rather just skip the formalities.â
 If possible, Tachibana lit up with an even brighter smile than before. âOkay. Then you can call me Makoto.â
 âAlright, you two, enough chit-chat. We have to get to our next stop,â Sousuke scolded from inside the truck, turning the key in the ignition until the vehicle whirred to life. âRin says hi, by the way,â Sousuke said to Haruka, waving his phone which presumably had a text message conversation open with RinâSousukeâs boyfriend and Harukaâs best friend.
 âAh, sorry!â Makoto apologized, hurriedly tearing off Harukaâs copy of the invoice and handing it to him. âIt was very nice to meet you, Haru. See you next time?â
 Haruka nodded and hummed in the affirmative. âYeah, see you again, Makoto.â
 Makoto gave him a little wave as he dashed around the back of the truck, hurriedly locking up the trailer before hopping in the cab next to Sousuke. With a lazy salute from Sousuke and another brilliant smile from Makoto, the two drove off towards their next destination and left Haruka standing in front of his shop. His body still tingled.
.
 Haruka was quietly changing out of his clothes into his swimsuit when Rin decided to show up, claiming the locker next to him.
 âImpatient as always, I see,â the redhead commented teasingly, shrugging off his bag and jacket.
 Haruka, on the other hand, had just pulled on his knee-length jammers and was now digging around his bag for his swim cap and goggles. He merely gave a hum in response, hearing what Rin said but not entirely processing the words, his mind elsewhere.
 âSousuke told me you met the new guy on his route,â Rin said, his voice muffled as he pulled his t-shirt over his head.
 âYeah,â Haruka affirmed distantly, folding up his work clothes and setting them neatly in his locker. He gently shut the door and stood idly by, waiting for Rin to change into his legskins. He didnât offer up any more information, though just thinking about Makoto made butterflies flutter in Harukaâs stomach. He felt goosebumps all over his exposed skin, though it wasnât cold in the locker room.
 Rin threw his own clothes into his locker and grabbed his swim cap and goggles, wearing his goggles around his neck like a necklace. He flashed a sharp-toothed smile at Haruka and stood with his hand on his hip. Haruka could just barely make out Rinâs soul mark, peeking out of his legskins at his hipâthe tips of a fully colored blue delphinium stalk.
 Haruka remembered seeing Rinâs soul mark for the first time, before heâd really found his affinity for caring for flowers. It was something his late grandmother had instilled in him from a young age, but it took a while for Haruka to truly appreciate what she had taught him. He eventually followed that path, and now had a successful flower shop of his own.
 Part of that awakening of sorts had been thanks to Rin showing him his beautiful soul mark.
 Rin nodded his head to the door leading to the pool hall. âLooks like youâve got some feelings to swim out,â he said to his best friend and they walked side-by-side out of the locker room.
 Haruka kept his gaze resolutely straight ahead. âI donât know what youâre talking about,â he deflected, pursing his lips somewhat.
 Rin barked out a laugh. âHaruâŚweâve known each other since elementary school. I know youâre not as emotionally constipated as you used to be, but shit, you look like youâve been in a daze since you got here.â
 Haruka couldnât contest that. However, he did narrow his eyes and give Rin a sidelong glance to his left. âEmotionally constipated?â
 Though Rin rolled his eyes, he was still smiling. âYou know what I mean.â
 Haruka just hummed again, staring forward once more. He was usually pretty aware of his own emotions, able to accurately piece together what he was feeling about most anything after a little time to mull it over. Whatever weirdness he was feelingâwhatever weirdness he had been feeling since early that morningâhe was sure the water would help him think it through.
 Luckily, there were only a few other people in the pool hall at this time of the evening. Haruka allowed a small smile to grace his features. At least he and Rin would be mostly undisturbed in their swimming.
 âYou wanna race, or are you just gonna do laps?â Rin asked as they approached the edge of the pool, already doing some stretches to prepare for their exercise. Haruka followed suit, focusing on working out his arm muscles since his signature stroke was the front crawl.
 âI think some laps,â Haruka said, shaking out his shoulders and stepping up onto the starting block.
 âUhâŚHaru?â Rin said hesitantly from behind him.
 âHm?â Haruka hummed, turning around to regard his best friend, who was looking at him with an incredulous look on his face.
 âYour soul markâŚâ Rin said, slowly raising his hand and pointing at the blade of Harukaâs right shoulder. âDid you know itâs bloomed?â
 Blue eyes widened and the shock of the question was almost enough to knock Haruka into the pool.
 âWhâwhat?â Â
.
 Haruka stood in front of the sink, back turned, head angled to try and get a glimpse of his soul mark. He felt those familiar tingles, the numbness from earlier spreading from his chest to every bit of his body. His limbs felt light and weightless like floating in water but heavier than a shipâs anchor at the same time. He could barely feel his fingertips poking and prodding at his shoulder as he twisted every which way to see it clearly in the mirror.
 âHey, Haru, hereâŚâ Rin said, stepping into the bathroom with his phone in handâheâd gone to retrieve it from his locker before chasing directly after Haruka. âLemme take a picture so you can see it better.â
 Sucking in a deep breath, Haruka complied and turned his back to Rin. He vaguely registered the shutter snap as Rin captured the photo on his phone. The slightly taller man then handed his phone to Haruka, who took it in shaking hands and stared at his soul mark on the screen.
 It was a fully bloomed phlox, but not even just one flower, which surprised Haruka enough to make his breath hitch. While the bud had only been singular, now emblazoned on his pale skin was a cluster of eightâmaybe ten?âblossoms with five petals each, all rounded at the tips and flared out like an umbrella. None of them had any color whatsoever, only the black, almost inky outlines that gave the flowers their shape.
 The fact that it didnât have any color yet meant that it was brand newâŚthat it had only bloomed within the last day or so.
 Haruka felt the room spin around him, shadows seeping into the edges of his vision.
 âWhoa, hey! Haru!â Rin cried out as Haruka swayed on his feet. He stabilized his friend with his strong arms, guiding the raven-haired man back out to the locker room and lowering him to sit on the bench in front of their lockers. âYou okay?â
 Haruka hung his head between his knees, sucking in deep breaths and holding them for a few seconds before expelling them shakily. Rinâs phone hung limply in his hand, and he couldnât muster the strength to even lift it up to hand back to him. It didnât make senseâŚit didnât make sense. How could he have met his soulmate and not realize it? How could he have even met his soulmate if he was at work all day until now?
 UnlessâŚit was a customer? But no, all of the customers that visited his shop today were regularsâŚso it couldnât have been any of them. What if it was just some random stranger on the train he took to get to the rec center? How would he be able to track them down, then?
 âHaru, I think you should go home for tonightâŚyouâre in no condition to swim, like thisâŚâ Rin said carefully, squatting down in front of his best friend. âI can have Sousuke bring the car âround so we can drive you home.â
 Words caught in his throat, Haruka swallowed hard before nodding silently. He felt Rin take his phone from his loosened grip and watched as his friendâs bare feet slapped against the tiled floor as he stepped away to call Sousuke. Haruka blew out another shaky breath, his hands coming up to grab fistfuls of his hair. The pain of pulling on the strands helped keep him grounded a little, allowed him to focus and center himself until the lightheadedness abated somewhat.
 He had never cared about meeting his soulmate, had never given it more than a passing thought for his whole life. Even watching the people around him meet their own soulmates and form unbreakable bonds with their destined persons, he never felt odd or left out because he hadnât met his own. But now, when the moment actually cameâŚit slipped through his fingers before he realized it. And it was too late.
.
 âWhatâs got you so down, Haru-chan?â
 Haruka looked up from his inventory form, peering at his employee through his dark bangs. Nagisa was looking at him with wide, earnest magenta eyes that had no business looking as worried as they did. Nagisa was supposed to be endless smiles and boundless positivity, and it irked Haruka that he was the reason for the blondâs concerned countenance.
 âItâs nothing,â he said, tapping his pen against the inventory sheet until the ink bled a puddle through the paper. He scowled and tore the sheet from the pack, dabbing up the wet ink with the already soiled paper and hoping it didnât bleed all the way through the stack.
 âThen why do you look so gloomy?â Nagisa pressed, nuzzling his head against his bossâs shoulder, and it was obvious he wasnât going to leave Haruka alone until he got some kind of answer. That was just how Nagisa was.
 His shoulderâŚ
 Haruka sighed and clicked his pen closed, leaning against the counter. âHere, look at this,â he said pulling the strap of his apron over his head and tugging at the collar of his oversized shirt. He exposed as much of his right shoulder as he could to Nagisa, turning slightly to give the shorter man a better look.
 Nagisa peeked past the dark blue fabric and gasped at what he saw. âHaru-chanâŚyour soul mark bloomed! Thatâs wonderful!â
 Haruka tugged his shirt back up, but left the top half of his apron still hanging down. âItâs really not,â he said dejectedly, leaning further down on the counter until his forehead was touching the soil-dusted surface. âI donât even know who my soulmate isâŚâ
 Haruka could feel the air shift around them with Nagisaâs sadness at his statement. âOh, Haru-chanâŚâ
 The jingling of the bell above the door drew both of their attention, cutting their conversation short for the time being. Haruka looked up from the counter and couldnât help but shudder at the unexpected relief he felt when he saw who had come into the shop.
 âGood morning, Haru!â Makoto said, smiling his gentle smile and holding his hand up in a small wave as he made his way over toward Haruka and Nagisa.
 âMakoto,â Haruka acknowledged with a short nod, stepping around the counter when the strap of his apron caught on the corner. Haruka tripped at the sudden halt, but a pair of strong arms caught him before he could properly fall.
 âAre you alright?â Makoto asked, surprise still etched onto his kind face.
 Haruka hummed in response, noting the way his body was beginning to tingle again like a powerful electric current charged his blood and flowed through his veins as if they were wires.
 What the hell�
 Makoto held onto him for a couple more seconds before almost jolting away as if heâd been stung. His bright green eyes met Harukaâs and they held each othersâ gazes for what could have been seconds, minutes, hours, before Nagisa coughed none-too-subtly and gathered their attention.
 âHaru-chan, whoâs this?â the blond asked with excited curiosity, leaning up to get a good look at Makotoâs face. Makoto backed away just a tad, a sheepish grin on his face.
 âThis is Makoto; heâs the new delivery guy on Sousukeâs route,â Haruka explained, ducking his head to hide the blush he could feel heating his cheeks. He busied himself with fixing his apron to avoid any moreâŚer, mishaps. Plus, as the owner of the shop, he had to look professional and presentable. A half-folded apron was neither of those things.
 âHello,â Makoto said, holding out his hand for Nagisa to shake. âNice to meet youâŚerâŚ?â
 âIâm Nagisa!â the shorter man said brightly, taking Makotoâs hand in both of his smaller ones and shaking vigorously. âVery good to meet you, Mako-chan!â
 Makotoâs smile eased into that same gentleness as before. âIâve got a bigger delivery for you today, Haru,â he said, turning slightly to face Haruka again while Nagisa still had a grip on his hand. âSorry weâre a little late. Another stop ran over time by a bit.â
 âNot a problem,â Haruka said with a shake of his head. âSousuke was usually later than this when it was just him, so donât worry.â
 âI heard that,â Sousuke said, his deep voice drowning out the sound of bell chime on the door. He was wheeling a dolly in backwards with several boxes stacked on top of the metal lip, all labeled âFRAGILE.â
 âOh, those must be the vases I ordered,â Haruka remarked, running over to clear a space by the coolers for Sousuke to set the boxes down. âNagisa, could you put the door stopper down and help get the other boxes from the truck?â
 âSure thing!â Nagisa said, practically jumping up and down in that enthusiastic way of his. Once he shoved the rubber wedge beneath the door, he bounded outside to retrieve some more of their packages.
 âSousuke, let me take that!â Makoto said, taking the dolly from his boss before there was a chance for Sousuke to protest. The brunette followed Nagisaâs example and hurried out to the truck.
 Sousuke chuckled, rolling his shoulder. âThey have way too much energy for this early in the morning.â His teal eyes then slid over to Haruka, darkening just a little with seriousness. âHow are you doing after last night? You seemedâŚpretty shaken up, which isnât like you.â
 Haruka looked down at his shoes, curling his toes inside. He didnât really want to have to explain himself, especially with a near-stranger in possible earshot. Besides, he knew Sousuke had at least heard the gist of it from Rin in the car ride to Harukaâs place last nightâheâd heard them whispering about it in the front seat. But he also didnât want to leave Sousuke hanging.
 Instead, he changed topics somewhat. âHow long did it take for your soul mark to startâŚgaining color? After you and Rin met?â
 Sousuke paused to think, tucking his hands into his pockets. It was then that Haruka realized, heâd never actually seen Sousukeâs mark. Heâd only seen Rinâs, mostly when they went swimming. But itâd been in full color for as long as he could remember.
 âWell, I mean, we met in elementary school,â Sousuke said with a shrug. âAnd I know at least mine was in full color before he left for middle school in Australia, soâŚ?â
 âIâŚseeâŚâ Haruka muttered, scratching at the back of his neck. He could feel his shoulder tingling again.
 âYou didnât have any color to yours last night, right?â Sousuke then asked.
 Haruka shook his head. âNo, itâŚit was still just the outlineâŚâ
 âCan I see it?â
 Haruka froze, his hand at his side clenching into a fist. âIâŚdonât see why not?â he choked out against his better judgment. âItâs hereâŚon my right shoulder bladeâŚâ he said, tapping at his shoulder with the hand that was already at the back of his neck. He didnât bother taking off his apron this time, just shrugging enough of his shirt off for Sousuke to see the phlox blossoms on his skin.
 Sousuke came up beside him, tugging the shirt fabric away from Harukaâs shoulder enough to see the mark. âUh, Haru, itâsâŚâ
 âWhat?â Haruka asked, alarmed at Sousukeâs hesitance. The other man was rarely like that.
 âThereâs already some color.â
 "What?â Haruka repeated, already feeling that strange numbing sensation that heâd felt last night.
 Nagisa and Makoto were chattering away as they came back into the shop, Makoto with some more boxes on the dolly and Nagisa carrying a really tall box with aeration holes which meant that live plants were inside. They both froze at seeing Harukaâs ashen face.
 âHaru-chan, whatâs the matter?â Nagisa said, setting down his box right where he stood and ran over to his boss and friend. âDo you feel sick?â
 Sick was an understatement. Haruka felt dizzy, like he was floating at the bottom of the pool and running out of air in his lungs, but his body was too heavy for him to swim to the surface. His stomach was doing flip-flops on itself and there was a deafening pounding in his ears that drowned out the concerned voices around him. Before he realized it, he was being picked up off the ground and carried in someoneâs armsâwhere to, he had no idea. All he could do was stare up at the ceiling through hazy blue eyes, holding his breath so he didnât puke. The tingling sensation grew much more intense, to the point where he felt needles all over his skin and his shoulder outright burned as if someone had set it aflame.
 When he came back to himself, he was lying on the small sofa in the break room at the back of the shop. Nagisa was standing above him, placing a cool, dampened washcloth to his forehead. Harukaâs palms felt sweaty and clammy, and he had a hard time curling his fingers into fists. They felt swollen.
 âHaru-chan, do you want to close the shop for the day?â Nagisa asked. âYou need to rest.â
 Haruka barely managed a shake of his head. âN-no, Iâll be fine, justâŚgo manage everything for a while until I can get up againâŚ.â
 Nagisa nodded resolutely. âYou got it, Haru-chan. Mako-chan, come help me with the rest of the boxes?â
 Makoto looked up from where he stood at the end of the sofa. âOkay, sure, I can do that!â
 But before he could move, Sousuke stepped in front of him with his hand out, blocking Makotoâs path. âIâll help Nagisa, you stay here with Haru until weâre done.â
 Hearing that made Harukaâs heart jump into his throat for some reason. He couldnât figure out why.
 âO-okay, if youâre sure, SousukeâŚâ Makoto said, to which Sousuke nodded.
 âWater is in the little fridge over there if you need it,â Nagisa said, pointing to a mini-refrigerator in the corner of the small room. âWeâll hurry, okay?â
 Makoto hummed with a nod, and the two of them left to go finish getting the delivery in order.
 It was silent in the room, save for the sounds of Harukaâs slightly labored breathing. He was sweating up a storm, and he reached up with a shaky hand to press the cold cloth firmer against his forehead.
 âUmâŚdo youâŚwant some water, Haru? You might be dehydratedâŚ?â Makoto asked, and damn if Haruka didnât somehow find that nervousness adorable.
 âSure, that might help,â Haruka rasped out, even though the thought of ingesting anything at the moment made his stomach churn. He listened to the faint sounds of Makoto shuffling over to the fridge, the opening and closing of the insulated door, the crunching of the plastic bottle in Makotoâs hand. A shadow descended over him, Makotoâs tall and broad frame blocking out the sunlight coming in from the windows.
 âDo you want to sit up? I can help you,â Makoto offered quietly.
 Haruka nodded curtly, reaching his arms out towards the gentle giant above him. As soon as Makotoâs hand circled around his wrist, Haruka felt that electrified feeling as if heâd been shot with a taser. A pained noise came from the back of his throat, alarming Makoto enough for him to let go of Haruâs wrist immediately.
 âS-sorry, I justâŚIâll do it myself,â Haruka said through a wince, using whatever strength he could muster to pull himself to a sit against the arm of the sofa. When he pulled the cloth away from his face, he blinked his eyes open to see Makoto staring at him with those sunny green eyes. He was slowly flexing the fingers of his hand, forming a fist and relaxing over and over. âAre    you   alright?â Haruka asked, nodding to Makotoâs hand.
 âHm? Oh, yeah,â Makoto assured him with a sweet smile. âMy hand just got all tingly for a minuteâŚlike it feels when it falls asleep?â
 It took a second or two for the words to register, but once they did, Haruka could do nothing but stare wide-eyed at Makoto.
 SoâŚheâŚHaruka wasnât the only one whoâŚ
 âOh, hereâs your water, Haru,â Makoto said belatedly, holding the bottle out to Haruka.
 âThanksâŚâ Haruka said, reaching for the bottle. Their fingers brushed for only a moment, but it was enough to make Harukaâs entire arm go numb. Makoto seemed to have a similar reaction if the squint of his eye and quiet hiss through his teeth were anything to go by.
 âWeâre done!â Nagisaâs voice could be heard before the man himself was seen. He came barreling into the break room with Sousuke leisurely strolling in behind him. "Oh, you're sitting up! Are you feeling any better, Haru-chan?"
 "A little," Haruka said, fumbling with numbed fingers to open the cap of the water bottle. He started out with small, slow sips.
 "Are you sure you're okay to stay at work?" Sousuke asked, crossing his arms over his broad chest.
 Haruka nodded, which was a bad move because it just made him feel dizzy again. "I'm fine, justâŚdon't mention this to Rin. He'll be all over me about it if he finds out."
 Sousuke barked out a laugh. "You're not wrong about that." He then flicked his arm out to right the face of his wristwatch to check the time. "Well, if you're sure you're okay, Makoto and I have to make it to our next stop. We'll leave you in Nagisa's expert care."
 Nagisa stuck his tongue out at Sousuke. "You're so mean, Sou-chan."
 Haruka almost smiled at his friends' antics. Almost. He looked at Makoto, who'd remained quiet since the intrusion and actually did smile softly at the man. "Thanks for keeping an eye on me."
 Makoto flushed and offered Haruka a shy smile, scratching his cheek with his forefinger. "Ah, you're welcome. I didn't really do anything, though?"
 "You made sure Haru-chan didn't fall off the couch and die," Nagisa amended, throwing his arm around Makoto's shoulder, which was a sight in itself considering their height difference. "That's more than enough, don't you think?"
 "I-I guessâŚ" Makoto said sheepishly.
 "Nagisa, unhand my coworker before I throw you over my shoulder and toss you into the trailer with the rest of the packages," Sousuke said. Although his tone was deadpan, his threat was clear.
 "What if we wanna keep Mako-chan here?" Nagisa asked, hanging off Makoto in some weird semblance of a hug. The taller man laughed, letting himself be jerked around by Nagisa with no complaints whatsoever. "Haru-chan likes him, right, Haru-chan?"
 Haruka blinked, looking between Nagisa and Makoto a few times before settling his gaze on Makoto. He hummed in affirmation, taking another sip of water in hopes of hiding his blush behind the bottle.
 Before anything else could be said, Sousuke manhandled Nagisa off of Makoto and began ushering his employee out the door before the little blond mayhem maker could get his hands on him again. "See you dorks tomorrow morning!" he said overly loudly, making his point.
 "See you tomorrow Nagisa, Haru!" Makoto said with a laugh, raising his arm to wave. The rolled up sleeve of his uniform shirt fell down to his elbow, revealing a cluster of black outlined flowers with slight pastel pink coloring at the tips of the petals on his forearm.
 Flowers that looked strangely likeâŚ
 But by the time Haruka thought to say anything, Sousuke and Makoto were long gone.
.
 Haruka sighed as he sank into the warm water, hunkering down until the water came up to right below his nose. The steam rising off the surface clouded around him, almost creating a bubble for him to exist in that separated him from the outside world. His bathtub wasnât quite long enough for him to stretch out his legs completely, but even with them bent at the knee and his kneecaps poking out of the water, he could already feel his muscles relax.
 He definitely needed to relax after the last day and a half.
 Much of that time was spent in utter confusion, trying to figure out how in the world his soul mark could have bloomed without him realizing that heâd made contact with his soulmate. Not only that, but heâd apparently spent enough time with his soulmate over the past day for his mark to start coloring already.
 Then, when heâd gotten a glimpse of Makotoâs armâŚwell, that threw everything into extremely unfamiliar waters. And Haruka wasnât used to being unfamiliar in any kind of water.
 Haruka sank beneath the hot water, his eyes closed. He felt the small pushes and pulls of the water, every little movement he made created tides and ripples in the small, confined area of his element. It calmed him, helped him clear his thoughts.
 When Haruka resurfaced, a decision had been made.
 He needed to ask Makoto to show him his soul mark.
.
 The next morning, when Haruka arrived at his shop at the very break of dawn, he was pleasantly surprised to see that some of his budded plants had bloomed.
 Perhaps the most pleasant and surprising ones were the garden phlox flowers, their colors soft and muted but no less beautiful for it, and when the creeping rays of the sun refracted through the glass of the windows and onto the petals, the gentle pinks and pastel purples really came to life.
 Haruka hoped that it was a good sign.
 He went about his normal morning routine of watering all the plants, enjoying the peace and calmness of the dawn. The gentle sound of the streams of water flowing from the nozzle of his mackerel watering can brought him a sense of clarity. When he moved on to the hose for the larger plants, the gentle hum of the spray nozzle lulled him into a familiar calmness. He felt ready to face the moment that could possibly change the rest of his life. He was still nervous, butterflies fluttering around in his stomach and that familiar tingling feeling in his fingers, but he had to do this. He had to.
 When he heard the gentle knock on the glass door, Haruka turned to see Makoto and felt immediately at ease.
 He turned off the hose and set it atop the tank, walking over to the door and unlocking it to let Makoto in.
 âGood morning, Haru,â Makoto said with his usual gentle smile, his head tilted slightly. âHow are you feeling?â
 âMuch better,â Haruka said, offering Makoto a small smile of his own.
 âIâm so glad,â Makoto sighed happily. âYou really had us worried yesterday.â
 âSorry about thatâŚâ Haruka said, averting his gaze. He felt a hand on his shoulder, then, giving it a gentle squeeze. And while the tingling and weird kind of numbing was still present, Haruka feltâŚwarm. The kind of comforting warmth that came with cuddling in a blanket in the wintertime, or sinking into a hot bath at the end of a long day.
 âMakotoâŚâ
 âHm?â
 âCanâŚâ Haruka swallowed, looking up at Makotoâs face. Blue eyes met green and Haruka gained his courage. âCan I see your soul mark?â
 A mixture of surprise and confusion crossed Makotoâs face. âMy soul mark? Why?â
 Haruka sucked in a breath. He removed the top of his apron and unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt. He shrugged the collared top off his right shoulder, enough to where his own soul mark was visible, and turned just enough for Makoto to see it.
 âBecause I need to see if it matches mine.â
 He heard Makoto gasp, but what that sharp intake of breath meant, Haruka wasnât sure.
 Until Makoto held his arm out for Haruka to see, and Haruka blew out a breath that had been stuck in his lungs for what felt like an eternity.
 Staring up at him from a tanned forearm was a fully bloomed bunch of phlox flowers, with soft pastels fading in from the centers of the blooms.
 âI had a feelingâŚâ Makoto said through a small laugh, though his laugh sounded a little watery around the edges. âWhen I got back in the truck, that first dayâŚI noticed my mark had bloomedâŚand every time I saw you, I just feltâŚI donât knowâŚwarm? Tingly? I canât really describe itâŚâ
 Haruka turned back around to face Makoto, his shirt still hanging off his shoulder. There were a couple tears gathered in the corners of Makotoâs gorgeous green eyes, and Haruka was surprised to discover that he had a very similar affliction currently. He blinked his own tears away and hesitantly reached his hand up to cup Makotoâs cheek, his thumb just barely caressing the skin beneath Makotoâs eye.
 âI felt the sameâŚâ Haruka admitted, then let out a breath of a laugh. âThough, I guess it definitely took more of a physical toll on me than it did on you.â
 âIt sure did,â Makoto laughed quietly, bringing his own hand up to hold Harukaâs hand against his face.
 And there it was againâŚthe tingling feeling. Though instead of coming in as a shock to the system, instead of making him feel sick and numb, it made Harukaâs blood sing, made his spirit flutter, made his heart slow down to a tempo that was nothing but comfort and peace.
 Why hadnât he cared before about meeting his soulmate? If he knew itâd feel like thisâŚ
 Well. That didnât really matter now, did it?
 Makoto leaned forward, touching his forehead to Harukaâs. Against his will, Harukaâs eyes slid shut.
 "So...now what?" Haruka whispered.
 Makoto sighed a laugh, and Haruka felt his warm breath against his face. It smelled minty, like he had brushed his teeth recently. "I'm...not really sureâŚ" Makoto said hesitantly. "But...I suppose we'll figure it out, right?"
 Haruka smiled, leaning his head on Makoto's shoulder. "Yeah...I suppose we will."
.
 Haruka had never learned much about hanakotoba, aside from what his grandmother had taught him before she passed away. As a florist, he didn't have much use for it. All that mattered to him was how certain flowers and fillers looked together in arrangements, not so much the meanings behind them.
 But since he'd met Makoto, his curiosity had been piqued. He hadn't thought about it before, but...what if soul marks had some kind of meaning? And that meaning was relevant to the two soulmates who shared their mark?
 When he discovered what phlox meantâharmony, united soulsâhe knew there was no way it was just coincidence.
 So Haruka started looking into other flowers and their meanings, learning more about this hidden language embedded in nature. Once he was versed enough in certain plants and blooms, he began creating a subset of products based around hanakotoba. Just little mason jar arrangements, boutonnieres, corsages, other smaller things of such nature that had just that little extra meaning to them for customers who were looking for that sort of thing.
 He'd also taken a liking to making flower crowns, which was what he was currently working on. He had blooms of both light pastels and deep, vibrant purples on the worktable in front of him. Various tools were scattered about, as well as wiring and floral tape to hold things together. He also had some filler flowers to go along with the main flower of the crownâthings like baby's breath that would nicely accent the petunias he was working with for this particular crown. It was for Makoto.
 "Haru?" a voice said, following the jingles of the bells above the front door of the shop.
 Haruka looked up from his worktable, a small smile automatically in place on his lips as soon as he saw Makoto standing at the shop front. "You're earlyâŚ" he commented, tilting his head slightly. "You're never early."
 Makoto laughed at that as he made his way toward his soulmate, dropping onto the stool next to Haruka. "What are you working on?"
 Haruka's gaze turned back to the mess of flowers and leaves and stems on the table, where a full circlet of petunias sat amongst the wreckage. "Flower crown," he said, picking up his craft and tweaking some of the blooms so they sat correctly.
 "It's beautiful," Makoto said, nudging Haruka's shoulder with his own. The shoulder with his soul mark, now in full color beneath his shirt.
 "It's for you," Haruka said, reaching up with both hands and gently settling the crown atop Makoto's olive brown hair. He was right, the purple did look good on him.
 A smile that was more precious than any other lit up Makoto's face and his cheeks flushed a pretty pink. Haruka had a hard time keeping his heart from thundering in his chest at the gorgeous sight. "Thank you, Haru, I love it." Makoto reached up and gently ran his forefinger over one of the vivid violet petals. "What kind of flowers are these?"
 "Petunias," Haruka answered, fixing the crown so that it sat just slightly angled on Makoto's head, making him look even more adorable than before. "They mean gentleness, or 'your presence soothes me.'"
 Makoto ducked his head and hid his bashful expression behind his large, gentle hands. Haruka wanted nothing more to pull Makoto's hands away from his face and nuzzle their noses together.
 "You'd better make one for yourself, then, to match," Makoto said, allowing Haruka to take his hands. "Because that's exactly how you make me feel."
 Haruka fought down his own blush and swallowed the lump in his throat. "...Maybe tomorrow," he acquiesced, touching his nose to Makoto's.
 Makoto nuzzled his nose against Haruka's. "You ready to close up shop?"
 "Yeah, it's just about time, isn't it?" Haruka said, reluctantly pulling away from Makoto and getting up from his stool. He still had quite the mess leftover from his little project, and normally he made sure everything was spic and span before he left the shop for the night. But he and Makoto had planned a date of sorts and he didn't want to hold that up.
 He and Nagisa would just have to do extra cleaning in the morning.
 Haruka took off his apron and hung it on the hook by his arrangement counter, then moved to wash his hands of all the dirt and pollen. In the meantime, he heard Makoto pulling the metal gates across the front windows closed.
 As soon as the lock on the front door was clicked shut, Haruka pocketed his keys and immediately slid his hand into Makoto's and intertwined their fingers. They walked down the sidewalk at a leisurely pace, nudging each other's shoulders now and then, squeezing each other's hands in reassurance of the other's presence.
 Makoto's crown of petunias stayed on his head for the rest of the night.
#nanaseharukabirthdayexchange#lonesome writer#free!#makoharu#nanase haruka#tachibana makoto#makoharu fic#my writing
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How many people were tested just for others anyway? Gordon's wife and daughter, Daniel (the wiki says it was also for shoplifting but he was 16 so I call bs), literally everyone except Lynn and her husband in Saw III, and my memory past 3 is fuzzy but that one lying author's wife comes straight to mind. They weren't being tested for whatever John pretended his survival of the fittest policy was they were terrorized tortured and/or killed for basically nothing but the pain of the target.
Anon youâre so valid TuTÂ
ITS TRUE AND WE SHOULD ALL SAY IT!!! Also, I wrote this little part last, bc I just wanted to give fair warning that I went blind into a rage and wrote threethousand words about how much I hate John Kramer, full of very terrible language and spoilers for Saw 1-6, because I go that fucking feral at the sound of his name, and I canât make everyone scroll past that so Iâm putting most of it under the cut, but even if you decide you justifiably fear that rant and donât read it, just know you are incredibly valid, and John can eat shit and die. Rant start:
John did that bullshit constantly! He would over and over put 1 (one) man he personally wanted to watch suffer on trial and sacrifice /scores/ of people for no reason. No trap, no way to escape, at someone elseâs mercy completely or maybe with 0 chance even there bc JOHN KRAMER IS A SACK OF SHIT.Â
He kills a house full of drug addicts in two, mostly just bc his wife worked w drug addicts and John hates drug addicts, and even though Amanda was in their literal exact same position she does jack shit to stop him and just watches people slowly have their organs deteriorate and start coughing up blood around her!! Including fucking Daniel! Who got an antidote but like, at the 11th hour. Do yâall even understand how biology works John and CO??? If you neutralize a poison after it has deteriorated parts of organs it might save your life but itS NOT A FUCKING HEALTH POTION. Poor Daniel Matthews probably will only live to be like forty tops if heâs super lucky because of that. And he did NOTHING!!! He had shoplifted bc he was going through a teen phase but heâs like sixteen! Everyone was dumb as shit as a teenager, and most people shoplift at some point in their life! It does not earn you slow deterioration of your organs! Poor kid not only watched a man burned to death in an oven, dude have his brains blown out, girl die of prolonged organ failure, and more shit, he himself /killed/ a man as a sixteen year old child to save Amanda Young because heâs got a good heart and is a good person, and that shit is awful! Itâs traumatic to kill someone at any age, but as a teenager? And then he got knocked out by her and thrown in a tiny locked safe, tied up and gagged, and kept alive by an oxygen tank in an enclosed space after that massive trauma for or AT LEAST 24 HOURS ! He did NOTHING. It was all just a long-con sacrifice to get Eric Matthews to a specific location. Eric did some real shit, but god, even after everything Daniel did for Amanda and all Johnâs talk of innocents, neither of them ever even tell Eric he lived! Amanda just locks him up, fights, beats him to she thinks death, and then John keeps him locked up and isolated in a cell for months, only to make him choke himself slowly in a test he doesnât actually get to participate in to keep a friend from being electrocuted. Itâs all kinds of fucked.
Even Jeff did nothing worse than be depressed and obsessive and unavailable to his kid, all Lynn did was have a boyfriend after she and he separated (and tbh the only reason John took her was bc he wanted a doctor and hated her for being one of the docs who told him he had cancer bc John is a pettyass hypocritical stupid sack of shit!) Iâm VIBRATING with hatred. Lynn was just a pawn in Amandaâs test! It never mattered if she kept John alive! It only mattered if Amanda decided to fucking shoot her!!! She did her task and died and JOHN KNEW THERE WAS A HIGH PROBABILITY AMANDA WOULD KILL HER AND DID NOTHING TO STOP IT BC JOHN CARES ABOUT NO ONE BUT HIMSELF THE FUCKING WORTHLESS LITTLE WORM.Â
And the other victims in 3 are a poor college student who ran over someone on accident and feels massive guilt already and served jail time for it who gets his fucking limbs and then head all twisted off while begging for his life because JOHN KRAMER IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND SO IS JEFF TBH. BUT NOT AS BIG OF ONE. The poor girl who is stung up naked in a freezer and sprayed repeatedly with water till she is encased in ice and dead literally just saw the hit and run and ran away bc she was scared!!! Not to mention Jeffâs other kid who gets kidnapped and locked up as collateral! Even if sheâs not hurt thatâs FUCKING TRAUMATIZING FOR A YOUNG CHILD. And Allison Kerry did nothing wrong! Amanda kills her in the Angel trap literally just bc sheâs investigating them! When he targets a detective Johnâs always like âHo ho he, I am putting you on trial bc you are obsessed with your workâ LIKE, BITCH NO SHE FUCKIN AINT SHE DOIN HER GODDAMN JOB AND U DONâT WANT TO GET CAUGHT YOU STUPID FUCKING WHORE I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH THAT JUST LOOKING AT YOUR FACE CAUSES ME TO PRODUCE SO MUCH EXCESS EPINEPHRINE I COULD BOTTLE IT AND SAVE IT FOR LATER. I swear to god, if I had a grenade and I was in the room trapped with a still breathing John Kramer, I would kill pull the pin and take us both! FUCK I would pull the pin and then french kiss the grenade as thanks for letting me see that sack of shit go right to hell!
I donât remember all of four bc it was really terrible, so I donât have a lot of thoughts there except woof, but there was a lot of bullshit. Like Johnâs lawyer who did nothing but try to talk to him about finances enough it pissed John off got kidnapped, won his first game, and then got kidnapped again BC THAT SHIT HEAD SURE NEVER KEEPS EVEN HIS OWN GODDAMNED WORD and was made pawn in the game and then shot bc he didnât have a chance to save himsefl!!!Â
In Saw one, also, again, Adam was never being tested. He was just a pawn too. It was Gordon who got to decide to kill him or not, and ADAM LIVED TO SIX OR WHENEVER THE FUCK THE TIME WAS AND JOHN STILL LEFT HIM TO DIE BECAUSE HEâS A HYPOCRITICAL PIECE OF SHIT!!!! And heâs not interesting enough for Johns MASSIVE brainshlong that obviously is so full of right ideas and enlightenment you MICROPENISEDtrulyIDIOTIC self-centered human garbage! He only took Adam at all bc he was there! He said the reason was Adam was pathetic! ADAM WAS DOING HIS BEST YOU CRUSTY ASS RED ROBED TURTLE LOOKIN MOTHERFUCKER. He was a freelance photographer in New Jersey in his early 20s during an economic collapse, and still nice enough to be taking care of stray cats you FUCKING sack of dogshit!Â
And Gordon? All he did was tell John he had cancer! He was cheating on his wife too, but like, the reason John picked him was that!!! HE THOUGHT!! GORDON SOUNDED TOO COLD WHEN HE TOLD HIM HE HAD CANCER I FUCKING HATE JOHN KRAMER SO MUCH. John Kramer really will see someone smile not as big a smile as he thought they should have given him and be like: âYo, is anyone going to corkscrew their eyeballs off?â and not even wait for an answer. I fuuuuukning hate him. And that little shitface thought it was somehow chill to order someone else to kill Gordonâs wife and eight year old child who had done JACK SHIT wrong ever if Gordon wasnât willing to brutally murder a kid in his early 20s who had done nothing wrong????! WHAT THE FUCK. Mr. KRamer.. QUICK QUESTION. WHAT. THE. FUCK. You self-righteous, self-centered, pretentious, pettyass, sadistic motherfucking goddamn worthless excuse for anything!
In five heâs finally dead so I can : ) once. BUT HE STILL FUCKS UP SHIT FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE. SO Iâm STILL MAD. All the people Hoffman kills are ppl John told him to, so HE STILL MOTHERFUKIN RESPONSIBLE. In 5 itâs a bunch of people responsible kind of for deaths of people in a low-income neighborhood. One guy was paid to torch an abandoned building, and eight people died in the fire, but he didnât know anyone was there and feels terrible. He thought it was vacant, it was just arson. Another is a journalist who found out about the arson, and didnât break the story bc guy 1âs father bribed him. Thereâs a fire inspector who learned the truth and was bribed by the guyâs dad not to tell too. A city planner who was bribed into selling permits for the land. And Brit, who was the girl who paid for the arson, bc she wanted to make an apartment complex, and maybe actually knew about the 8 people and might have deserved some real paybackâitâs unclear???? Regardless. I want to add that the cops had been investigating, had a strong case, and were about to arrest them and hold these people accountable in a legal manner, which John knew bc HOFFMAN WAS IN HIS POCKET, and John so hated the idea of them facing justice justice, he kidnapped them. The fire inspector got dragged into saw blades by her throat and torn apart, the journalist died to a nail bomb, and the city planner got electrocuted in a bathtub. The two who made it had their arms split down the middle up to the elbow to let enough blood out to save them. I cannot. Just.
Anyway. In six, again at DEAD JOHN WHO WONâT QUIT FUCKING EVERYTHING UPâs request, a âgameâ is played and William Easton (one of my fave protagonists bc heâs a piece of shit but damn if he didnât have a real glow up in forty-five minutes) is thrown into a hell circuit.Â
And so, undeservingly, is like, EVERYONE he fucking knows! His janitor Hank is first up. Target forâŚwhat was it? OHhhhhh right. He smokes. That was why. That makes so much sense john Iâm sorry I doubted you PSYCH I CAN"T EVEN SAY IT AS A JOKE I JUST THREW UP A LITTLE IN MY MOUTH JOHN QUICK Q? WHAT THE FUCK? oh wait itâs because your an ABSOLUTE BASTARD. You would think I would get desensitized but no. It just. Itâs fuel on the flame of my rage.
William Easton and the janitor, Hank, are hooked into something that slowly tightens and crushes their ribs any time they take a breath, and whoever doesnât die first gets to live, and poor goddamn Hank smoked so ofc he canât outlast a healthy dude in his 30s and John crushes his ribs just to make William watch someone die. Then he makes William pick which of two people to save in trial 2. MEANING HE GODDAMN STRAIGHT UP KIDNAPPED THESE TWO TOTALLY FINE WITH EITHER DYING, IN FACT WITH THE SOUL PURPOSE BEING TO DIE bc who cares about them right John? You fucking pretentious self-righteous creep! I have a year of the Pig teddy bear I named after Peter Strahm JUST for the FUCKING satisfaction of knowing John would hate that bc he was so into year of the motherfucking pig. ANyway. Plot again. Poor file clerk at Williams firm and the poor secretary are the two targets, and literally they did jack shit!!! They work for shitty lawyers but all they do is clock in to a 9-5 and file shit!! They are literally just there to rub it in Williamâs face that insurance policies arenât fair bc according to them, one of the humans is worth more than the other bc health and age, but uuuuh oohhh William the older one with health issues is p hard to kill face to face bc you know her and she has kids and the young healthy man in his early 20s family is dead and he doesnât have friends which means according to John he is worth less bc JOHN DOES THINK YOU CAN CHOOSE BETWEEN LIVES and all of this is here just bc John somehow thought it would be fun to fucking WIN A GODDAMN âIâM RIGHTâ ARGUMENT WITH A LAWYER at the expense of brutally hanging a human being with barbed wire!!!Â
Sidebarâif John Kramer was a real human being, I would go yearly on a fucking pilgrimage to his grave just to SPIT on his stupid corpse. I HATE HIM SO MUCH.Â
K so young man dies. Then test 3 his attorney dies too, I donât know much about her, except she is just there to make William feel like shit and they were into each other, and she tries to kill William after he gets hurt trying to save her bc he has the key to her trap in his stomach or chest idr, but she doesnât get the key in time and dies, and then test 4 he finds his associates strapped to a carousel with a shotgun that picks one at random and blows off their head, and has to let all but two of them get gunned down and choose which two not to kill. And again, theyâre kind of shittyass lawyers, but uh. Yeah. To save two, he has to let this huge piece of metal rip through his hand, but William does it and destroys his hand to save the two he can, and suffers picking while they all beg him to pick them bc John wanted to see him suffer picking between human lives again because heâs a goddam self-centered stuck up jerk who vales human life less then admiring his ugly ass dick in the mirror every day and pretending heâs a member of Mensa, the evil utterly irredeemable sack of shit. Anyway, at the end, William has never had a chance to live or die at all! And John was literally just torturing him for fun and killed /all/ those people not even for a test for William but /solely/ to make him suffer bc human lives DON"T MATTER ONE FUCKING IOTA to JOHN SHITASS KRAMER. WHO JUST WANTED TO WIN. AN INTELLECTUAL ARGUMENT. POST-MORTEM. BECAUSE heâs THAT kind of shittyass, pretentious, sanctimonious, better than thou, always right, incapable of wrong, smartest fucking asshole in the room man!!! I bet he doesnât ever wash his hands when he takes a piss! I KNOW IT! FUCK John Kramer!Â
ANd OH! William gets killed by a kid who hates him bc he turned down their fatherâs insurance policy fraudulently, knowing he would die of an illness without the money. BC William was terrible. Which is /so/ great for that fucking teenager! Killing someone horribly with acid while you watch them die and their body be melted! And they beg you not to do it and apologize on the other side of bars, already beat to shit, and plead for forgiveness, and your mom begs you not to, and the dudeâs sister sobs and begs you not to!!! SO GOOD! Way to go john you FUCKING CUNT, they definitely value their lives now you goddamn motherfucking souless sack of shit!
I-I donât even have the energy to do the other Saw movies or go back over the other victims in Saw one WHO DID NOTHING WRONG. John just hated them!!! BC HIS WIFE KNEW THEM! In most cases! John just fucking hates drug addicts! OK u know what hereâs the short version even if I canât do them justice rn bc Iâm pissed!!! One guy got sliced to death on razor wire for cutting when he was depressed bc John is a piece of shit, one got burned to death after walking on glass for hours bc John doesnât believe in invisible illnesses and if youâre walking you must be healthy, oh yeah! And the fucking dude Amanda killed in her first trial was just a drug addict! Going to a recovery clinic! He never had a chance to live on his own bc the only choice was if Amanda would cut open his intestines and sift through him for a key while he was awake but too drugged to move or not, and she did! Didnât even get to plead for his life! ANyway!!!! Fucking as far as I can tell all Zep did was work at the goddamn hospital! He WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE NICE TO JOHN and told other people he was a cool dude!!! He was just a janitor!!! WHAT THE FUCK???
I just. God. I hate everything about John Kramer. The way he talks makes me so LIVID I change color like a goddamned chameleon. He is so ready to argue his stupid shitty fucking ethics with anyone who breathes in a ten mile radius. Shithead John over here will strap you to a table and make you listen to him talk about how itâs not his fault he poisoned two people and gave them one antidote and a bunch of knives and one of them came out dead, and his hands are clean and people donât value their lives so they should die while he watches eating fucking cereal I am justâI am so glad John has cancer? Like, the idea of Saw sans John having cancer is unbearable, because I am so afraid the writers would never let him die and we would never be free of the human cancer that is John. The only human being on the planet that has ever been able to make me root for the cancer. But boy in that one and only regard, John is special.
I hate him so much it is unbelievable. Like. I canât even put it into words. THe pure, unbridled fury I feel when I hear John say, âDâoh ho ho, but I, with these two little handies of mine, hath never pulled the gunâs trigger! Got you there! Where is your science! Where is your god! I am no murderer! I heal people! By sawing off their faces! You just do not understand, oh poor unenlightened human that you are. May you be strapped to a machete car and blessed with my wisdom  đâ I absolutely lose control of 90% of normal human functionality, and all that I have left is righteous justice and bloodlust. Itâs unbelievable.
Whichever one of you god-mode-brain peeps made that post saying Eric Matthews had the hardest test in the whole Saw franchise because he had to sit and listen to John Kramer talk for two hours was a GODDAMNED HERO and if you contact me and prove the tumblr account is yours I will paypal you ten dollars and a personalized note thanking you for the joy that gave me because I just really hate John Kramer that FUCKING MUCH. I would cut off my own toes to be able to have something to shove down John Kramerâs throat to make him stop. talking.
There are a lot of things in this world I hate bc I hate things that are unjust, but I hate absolutely nothing more in the universe than a villain who is a self-righteous, hypocritical asshole who wonât even admit that what they are doing is wrong and parades as the tragic genius hero despite knowing GODDAMN well that they are a petty, shitty, hypocritical, absolute fucking MONSTER with no redeemable qualities or capacity for love. And John Kramer is at least my second least favorite character in the history of ANYTHING. Maybe my first. Iâm not even sure anymore! Nasty-ass, evil, pretentious, self-righteous, shortsighted, selfish, sadistic, voyeuristic, willfully ignorant, crusty ass useless soulless garbage little SHIT.
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Can u please do a drabble with Chloe bing a good friend?
(Adflhddj OKAY lol - this takes place after Puppeteer 2)
ââ
â⌠and sheâs been avoiding me ever since ⌠I thought she would think it was funny. I must have really hurt her.â
Chloe sighed irritably at the thought of Dupain-Cheng, though she kept her hand lightly on Adrienâs back. âLet me guess, she probably did something totally lame, like fawn all over you and kiss you and say some utterly ridiculous drivel about how she always wants to be with you âŚâ
She paused for a moment, mentally walking through what had logically happened when Adrienâs âstatueâ came alive. Chloe made a face, some part of her twinging in sympathy. âUgh. Well, I was going to rip her a new one for upsetting you, but I think you did way more damage than I could have possibly dreamed up.â
Adrien looked immediately distraught. Of course he did, the boy cared far too much about literally everyone else, not even the slightest bit about himself. It was annoying.Â
It was worrying.Â
âI didnât know what to do! I panicked! I just thought she was going to lean in close and I wouldâve yelled âbooâ and then she would have laughed and it would have been fun. When she started saying stuff to me I first thought I could keep up being a statue, but ⌠then I couldnât. I think I deeply embarrassed her, and I donât know how to fix it, Chloe.â
He hung his head. âIâm a terrible friend,â he said and he actually believed that was the worst thing.Â
If someone was making him believe all this crap, Chloe would have socially, mentally, and emotionally destroyed them by now. But it was all coming from within Adrien - he was saying all this to himself. And she certainly couldnât beat up Adrien.Â
She let out a sigh, âAdrikins, listen. All girls embarrass themselves from time to time - some more than others - and itâs not your job to pander to every single one of -â
Her words cut off, throat closing in abject horror as she saw it - a dark purple butterfly casually fluttering its way toward that ridiculous lucky charm Adrien was wearing on his wrist.
Oh. Hell. No.Â
Temporarily furious beyond words, Chloe rummaged in her purse and retrieved an item, ripping off the packaging.Â
She hurled it expertly. With a small popping noise, the akuma absorbed the tampon applicator, bouncing harmlessly across the ground. Chloe stomped over to it as Adrien gasped behind her, clearly just having realized how close he came to being one of Hawkmothâs victims.Â
No. Not Adrikins, not ever, Chloe thought.Â
She stepped on the tampon, her unbridled fury making her enough of a target to connect her with Hawkmoth. But before he could speak, Chloe beat him to the punch.Â
âListen up, you pathetic winged worm! Adrien is my friend and if you akumatise so much as one hair on that boyâs head, you will have ME to answer to! I donât even need a Miraculous to whup your ass, just a giant can of bug spray, which I can and WILL order, and I WILL FIND YOU AND SPRAY IT DIRECTLY DOWN YOUR THROAT, make absolutely no mistake about that! DO you understand me!? Keep your disgusting insects away from my Adrikins!â
On the other end of Hawkmothâs direct line, there was radio silence. Chloe would like to think he was sweating in terror, perhaps quaking in his little bug boots.Â
Good.
âQueen Bee out,â she concluded waspishly, and stepped on the tampon, easily shattering the plastic case. The akuma fluttered away, looking just a little unsteady.Â
Chloe primped her hair proudly and made her way back to Adrien ⌠who was staring at her, open mouthed.Â
âWhat? Please, Adrikins, youâre way too good to be caught dead wearing one of-â Chloe turned to yell after the retreating akuma - âHawkmothâs absolutely hideous fashion disasters!â
Laughter.Â
Chloe turned, blinking, to see her friend doubled over on the bench in laughter, so hard that tears were actually forming in his eyes.
âThat was ⌠that was ⌠I canât wait to tell N-N-⌠â he wheezed.Â
She had never seen Adrien laugh so hard, not even when they were toddlers. After a moment she looked back and the smashed tampon on the ground and smirked, soon giggling just as helplessly as Adrien.Â
âCome on, Adrikins, letâs get out of here and go have some lunch,â Chloe eventually managed. âGirls are totally resilient so all of this will blow over - just give Dupain-Cheng some time, I guess.â
Arm and arm, the two friends left the city park, in much higher spirits than theyâd entered it.
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Die Historic on The Furby Road
Hey, thanks so much for the support and also for sending me on the most fun story research Iâve done in a while.
Junkrat spent more time in Roadhog's basement than he probably should. There wasn't much of use down here, just boxes of things Roadhog didn't want to look at or didn't think were reusable. He didn't have the keen scrapper instincts Junkrat did though, he'd once found a whole box of good quality cables down here. Roadhog couldn't even remember what they were supposed to be for!
He'd be lying if he said he didn't like the glimpses of what Roadhog had once been like he sometimes found down here. Never anything too revealing, no photographs or birth certificates, but things like a box of maps, carved wooden objects and an oversized mannequin were tantalizing hints of what had been important to Roadhog once upon a time.
Pawing through boxes in the semi-darkness was usually not a good idea, but he was pretty sure there was nothing too dangerous down here. He'd never found any signs of animal life, and it wasn't like- he froze as his hand brushed against something fluffy, taking two deep breaths before slowly pulling his hand away, hoping not to draw attention. Leaning back he flicked on his lighter, staring into the box in horrified curiosity.
Two lifeless eyes stared back at him.
The scream made it all the way to the garage, Roadhog putting down his tools with a sigh. It wasn't the first time Junkrat had freaked out on one of his basement diving expeditions, he'd once mistaken an old dressmakers dummy for an omnic, ready to burn the whole place to the ground before Roadhog dragged it out into the light.
Groans of protest came from the stairs as Junkrat ran for the surface, clutching a dusty cardboard box. "Roadie Roadie Roadie! You'll never guess what I found!"
The mask tilted questioningly.
"I mean I dunno what they are, but you probably do. Some kind of robot birds?"
He dumped the box on the floor between them, throwing it open and pulling out one the creatures, covered in black and white fur. "Pretty weird right?"
Roadhog's sharp intake of breath was audible through the mask, pulling the box closer to look at the contents. He'd forgotten he'd even had these.
Junkrat didn't seem to notice, messing with the one he'd picked up. "So, what are they?"
"Furbies."
"Right. Furbies. What are they about then?"
How to explain a Furby? Weird bird things that had been beloved by children that later found them creepy and annoying. Friends for a lonely kid who never got the hang of talking to people and wasn't allowed a real pet? An old toy that kept a community of fans long after they stopped being made?
"Kids toys. They can talk and respond to certain words." He winced as Junkrat shook the one he was holding.
"Hello?" He poked it when it didn't respond. "It's not talking, reckon it's dead?"
"There's a power switch on the bottom."
Junkrat flipped it over, trying to wake it up as he flipped the switch back and forth. "Still dead."
"Maybe the batteries need changing." Where they were meant to get AA batteries from was beyond him. Obsolete before he was even born, he doubted anyone here collected tech ancient enough to need a supply.
Lost in thought, he didn't notice Junkrat prising off the battery cover until he heard the yell of pain. A glance showed the batteries corroded and leaking, quickly grabbing Junkrat's hand before he put it in his mouth. "Don't. Go wash it."
A trail of curses followed Junkrat as he ran for the sink, swilling his hand in the water. "The fuck was that?" "Battery acid." "What kind of battery has acid in!?"
He shrugged, wiping the base of the furby clean with a nearby rag. "All of them did back before 2030."
It wasn't long before Junkrat strode back over, wiping his burnt fingers on his shorts. "It felt more like an alkaline burn." Like he could tell the difference. "Of course I can tell the difference!" He lent on Roadhog's arm, glaring at the old batteries. "Reckon I could rewire it to fit a proper battery. One that won't melt and burn people." - One dismantled remote control and a bit of solder later the Furby twitched, blue eyes blinking open. "u-nye-loo-lay-doo?" Its voice was rough, the speaker hadn't lasted well. Junkrat sat it on the desk triumphantly., "It's alive!"
The furby shifted, whirring quietly as its ears moved up and down. "Doo?" They both stared at it. "Yoo?"
Junkrat hummed, moving closer. "Do I what?"
"Boo."
Junkrat pointed a screwdriver at it, face scrunched in displeasure. "Look, either you start making sense or we're moving onto brain surgery."
Mako fished a manual out of the box, holding it in front of Junkrat until he snatched it, mumbling to himself as he read the instructions.
"Oh, we have to teach it English?" He shifted into a dramatic stance, raising on arm and closing his eyes, Â voice uncomfortably loud in the small space. "We fat all creatures else to fat us, and we fat ourselves for maggots. Your fat king and your lean beggar is but variable serviceâtwo dishes, but to one table. Thatâs the end." He cracked an eye open, looking down at the Furby like he was expecting applause. "A man may fish with a worm that has eaten the flesh of a king, and eat the fish that has fed on that worm. " Â
It chirped in response. "Me no listen."
"Alright you little-" Roadhog grabbed the hand that went for the screwdriver, pointing firmly at the Furbish-to-English dictionary.
Junkrat took it with a heavy sigh. "Fiiiine, wee tee kah wah tee?"
"Wah Tee!" The low fidelity wail it began to make wouldn't be out of place in a horror film, neither would Junkrat's burst of laughter. Â He continued to flick through the guide. trying out new phrases as he went. It was almost comical, both staring wide-eyed at each other making nonsense sounds. Roadhog felt he should have seen this coming somehow, he'd spent his youth with a creature that always stared, always wanted attention and refused to shut up, and now he had Junkrat.
Quickly exhausting the commands, Junkrat dropped the manual. "Is that it? It only knows like five things."
"It's pre-millennium tech."
"Pretty sure they had better things than this pre-millennium."
"It was a kids toy."
Junkrat leant back, staring up at him. "So what, you kept a box full of toys you had when you were a kid?"
The clicking of the toy filled the silence until Roadhog finally replied.
"Only had one when I was a kid, got the rest when I was older."
"Why?"
Roadhog turned back to the box, fishing through until he found the right one. Green with a painted faceplate and a custom-made raincoat.
"People used to customize them for fun. Some people just changed their appearance a little, others changed the shape completely or attached them to other things. Lot of people added better AI."
"Huh. Maybe I would've done that if I was around back then."
Had Junkrat ever had a hobby? He loved building and blowing things up but they were also the closest thing he had to a job. Had he ever done anything without a purpose, anything that wasn't wired to survival in his brain? Hell, it had been a long time since Roadhog had made something just for fun.
"Do you want to do one now?"
Junkrat's eyes shone, bouncing to his feet. "Really? One of yours?" Furbies scattered as Junkrat upended the box, picking out one he liked. "This one!"
"No."
"Why not? It's practically falling apart anyway, not like I can make it any worse."
Because it had been with him for forty years. It had meant so much to him as a kid and even now he couldn't bear to get rid of it He didn't say a word, but Junkrat seemed to get it anyway, looking slightly stricken as he put it back in the box with exaggerated care.
"Hey, no worries mate, I'll use a different one. Wanna pick one out for me?"
Roadhog placed a blue and pink model in Junkrat's outstretched hand. "Paint it, circuit bend it. Do what you like with it."
"Thanks mate. Ooh! I think I've still got some of the gold spray paint left from doing the bricks."
He skipped away, leaving Roadhog to stare at remaining furbies. Well, no reason he couldn't mix this old part of himself with who he was now. They didn't see each other for a few hours after that, both working on their own projects. It wasn't until the next day that Junkrat decided he was finished, proudly strutting into the room and presenting his piece to Roadhog.
"Okay so first I used soot and grease to dye it black, didn't completely work, you can still see the original colours a bit. The fur on it's stomach was too patchy to fix so I covered it with this sack material, then since it had those dots around it#s belly first I did 'em over with some rivets I had going spare. Sprayed the ears and mask bit gold then gave it the goggles we snatched from that prick with the chainsaw a while back." "S'good." Junkrat followed his gaze to the clunky bit of plastic at the bottom.
"That's the second best bit. Basically I was like, what's the point of having a pet that's stuck in one place?" He reached below it, flicking the switch. It cooed as it floated into the air, hovering around his shoulder.
âUsed some of the bits from that old assistance drone, the one I made into the scarecrow bot you thought was too creepy?â
Roadhog had never said it was creepy, but he hadn't liked the idea of a humanoid figure floating outside his farmhouse at night, even it was in the hope of scaring away anyone who wanted to try and get them while they were sleeping. He could feel Junkrat's desperate desire for a follow-up question. "What's the best bit?"
It should be impossible for anyone to smile so wide. Junkrat plucked the toy from the air, pointing it towards the open doorway.
"Fire in the hole!"
A tap to the head and it let out a distorted scream, Â a stream of flame shooting through its open beak, "Imagine treading on that in the dark!"
Note to self, make sure that's turned off before Junkrat forgets about it and treads on it in the dark.
"So what did you make then?"
Roadhog reached into the box, pulling out his creation as Junkrat gasped in delight.
Its lilac fur had been dyed a vivid orange, face plate sprayed with chrome. The beak had been covered with carved yellowing teeth. A tiny decorated leather jacket sat on its non-existent shoulders, open to show a survival belt with a tiny knife attached. "I love it! Did'ya do anything with the insides?"
A flick of the switch and glowing yellow eyes completed the look, It danced in place before speaking in a clear, deep voice. "kah-boh-dah-kah-way-loh-kah-boh-koh-koh!"
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Laina, And The Feelings That Came With Her
Request: Hi! Please... I need your help. I really like this girl, her name is Laina, and we are both huge Doctor Who fans. Can you write a fic, a longer one perhaps, where she and I are on an adventure with either the 11th doctor or the 12th doctor, and we meet some Cybermen, and we are running I confess and she does too we kiss and the doctor yells at us to keep running? none of us dies, and make it a light-hearted fic. Laina is really nice, with short blond blue hair with a fringe and blue eyes. We are about the same height. I love her with all my heart and I want to tell her by sending her this fic. Plz, you would make my year! You write such amazing stories. My nickname is Viviane by the way if u could use that too. xoxo a big fan
Requester: @fangirlingaboutfandoms
Pairing: 12th Doctor x Platonic!Companion!OC/Platonic!Companion!OC, Reader x OCÂ
Warning(s): None
Words: 1503
Side Note: I really hope this goes well for you! Good luck! (: <3Â
Side Side Note: This is written in the reader's POV, but is also written in the POV of Viviane, just in case you were confused :)Â
*~*~*
You know that feeling when the world feels cold. Like the walls are closing in and its hard to breathe. Like all the eyes of the world are staring at you. Like everything seems to darken blindingly and your clutching onto every shallow breath, every faint beat of your heart, every flutter of your eyelids to remind yourself you're still alive.
That's how you feel in this moment. Surrounded by darkness, frozen in your spot by the rhythmic electronic creaking of the oncoming monsters as you braced yourself in the dark alleyway...
Yeah, that's called fearÂ
"Paris, I'm really feeling Paris!"
The Doctor's bubbly voice floated around the console room, hair flopping rapidly, green eyes shining as he flicked switches, grinning wildly, "Maybe it's the croissant I had for breakfast or the picture of the Eiffel Tower on my bedside, but I want to go to Paris!"Â
Your attention tuned in as you caught the last bit of The Doctor's ramble, too used to him by now, looking up over your book from your seat on the stairs leading to the metallic walkway. Both of your eyes met as The Doctor rocked on his feet while he watched your face scrunch up in contemplation.Â
"Did someone say Paris?" A voice appeared from the entrance and Laina suddenly came into the room, blonde hair dark from her shower and with her towel around her shoulders, the same blue as her shining eyes. The familiar feeling of your breath hitching pinched your chest as whenever she was around.Â
"Yes, Paris, 3044! The most romantic place in the Milky Galaxy!" The Doctor whipped around to her, grinning and clapping his hands. She smiled warmly, your chest feeling tight as you couldn't help but gawk at her from a distance.Â
"That sound's awesome!" She said, expression practically glowing. The Doctor turned to you with an almost pouting expression as he silently framed his question once more. You hesitated, thinking you'd honestly prefer to stay in today, but then Laina poked her head out from behind his shoulder to pout at you too and your answer dribbled out your mouth without you realising,
"Yeah, okay." The Doctor smacked his hands together rapidly, roughly pushing down a lever to make the room shudder. Your book toppled out your lap and for a disgruntled moment, you wondered if it was worth it.Â
Laine caught your eye as you sat back up and smiled.Â
Okay, maybe it was.Â
31st Century France was beautiful. It really was. And, looking back on this day with a full heart and soft laugh on your lips, you wished you could describe what the place actually looked like. But you were too busy staring at the only more beautiful thing in front of you.Â
Laina.
With short blonde hair that ruffled in the slight breeze of the evening, eyes glinting in the golden setting sun and pink mouth curled into a relaxed and simply happy smile, she was the most beautiful girl you'd ever laid eyes on, as cheesy as it sounds. She giggled as she watched The Doctor spin around on the spot in front of the both of you, sat on the grass beneath the towering Eiffel Tower, and he ranted about the history of. You couldn't help as you smiled at her profile, not even noticing the weather and sky slowly darkening into a cloudy overcast.Â
The Doctor's distant rambling was suddenly cut off by the loud rumbling of thunder and Laina sat up to peer at the sky in slight fear. The urge to protect her flared and your hand raised to cover hers, timidly. The Doctor grinned shakily at the sky and then back at you.Â
"Just bad weather," He commented simply. His eyebrows suddenly furrowed as he licked his finger to stick it up the air. You only heard his faint muttering as the wind carried his voice towards you, "Even if the records didn't report rain today."Â
Suddenly, the small cafe exploded on the other side of the park to you, sending shards of glass spraying out across the pavilion, chunks of brick and wooden splattering everywhere and the flickering of flames glowing into the broken windows. You and Laina scrambled up, The Doctor coming to stand in front of the both of you, protectively.Â
Screams erupted from the other side of you, the three of you whipping around to watch the hoard of people rushing past you, screaming and yelling as blazing blue laser flew over their head. Distant computerized chanting, punctured with the stomps of marching followed behind them and, suddenly The Doctor had grabbed both of your hands.Â
"RUN. BOTH OF YOU. RUN." He shoved the both of your the other way into the rushing crowd as he sprinted towards the metallic army, but you were in no place to follow him, not when Laina's face was laced with horror.Â
"Vivianne," She pulled you by your arm the way The Doctor had pushed you, "Come on! Let's go!"Â
The both of you set off running. You kept your gaze focused on the honey blonde colour of her hair, a stark contrast in the greyness of the scene, but then you were shoved.Â
You lost your balance and your steps stuttered only for a moment, but it was long enough to lose her. The fear pumped through your veins and you kept sprinting, worming your way through the crowd and into an alleyway, leaning against the cold brick as to catch your breath and strain your eyes, desperate to find her again...
A hand met yours and you were being pulled further into the alleyway and away from the danger.
Your heart was pounding in your chest, blood rushed through your ears, hair whipped around your face but all you could focus on was the back of Laina's back as she was a few paces in front of you. You twisted around to see the remanents of the explosion sizzling to the ground, the heat burning your face as you yelled for her to slow down. She turned suddenly at the sound of your voice and her steps stuttered as she tried to stop suddenly causing you to crash into her and had her stumbling backwards; she placed her hands on your waist as to steady your momentum and your nose bumped hers. You both froze for a moment.Â
"I'm s-sorry-"Â
"I'm in love with you."Â
Her blue eyes blinked rapidly under the blonde strands and her lips parted in shock, hands tightening on your waist. Her eyebrows came together and the thought settled in and you stared up at her, heart beating more painfully than when you were running for your life a moment ago.Â
You donât know where the confidence came from. Maybe it was the frantic beating of your heart, pumping adrenaline around your body. Maybe it was the thought of you might actually die here. Maybe it was the warmth of her hands on your hips, her mouth so close yet so far away.Â
You braced for her response. Her voice was small, "Say that again."Â
"I'm...I'm in love with you." You said slower, stomach twisting in anxiety as you immediately considered that she may reject you, and that fear spiked through you enough to pull away a little, but then she crashed her mouth onto yours. Her lips moved timidly against yours and for a shock-filled moment you didn't respond, but then she raised her hands to hold your face and then you were kissing her back.Â
After a few blissful moments, you separated, her forehead tilting to knock against yours as you tried to control your breath through beaming lips. Her voice is as soft as velvet, "I love you too."Â
You know that feeling when the world feels cold. Like the walls are closing in and its hard to breathe. Like all the eyes of the world are staring at you. Like everything seems to darken blindingly and your clutching onto every shallow breath, every faint beat of your heart, every flutter of your eyelids to remind yourself you're still alive.Â
And then she walks in. And the darkness dims, recoiling back into its rigid shadows against the walls of the alleyway, the eyes turn to stare at the peeling graffiti sprayed across red brick, and the walls expand to open and expose the soft smile across her lips.Â
The sky lightens, the soft pinks and oranges stretching across the sliver of heavens the alleyway allowed, the colours highlighting her face to enhance the angelic hues of her skin. She glowed.Â
The sounds of chanting or marching or screaming or destruction had ceased. The only sound you heard was the soft breaths of Laina and the faint moaning of TARDIS materialising at the other end of the alleyway.Â
You took a deep breath.Â
You were safe.Â
And the air feels lighter, your lungs feel clearer; your thoughts as startling blue as the eyes twinkling at you.Â
Yeah, that's called love.
#doctor who#doctor who imagine#doctor who x reader#eleventh doctor#eleventh doctor x reader#eleventh doctor imagine#reader inserts#reader/oc#let me know how it goes!!#<3333
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monsoondreams
There are sirens blaring, your roommate is groaning, and someone has probably died. Just kidding. Itâs the opposite. Youâre awake, youâre alive, you lucky duck, and itâs Monday morning and you have class in exactly an hour. You can taste ketones on your breath, in the back of your throat. Your lips are chapped. You spit out a bit of hair that strayed into your mouth during the night and the world goes fuzzy and dark and sideways.
You are sitting in class. The teacherâs voice drones into your ears like dye spreading in water and your audiovisual input is hazy, indistinct, and your shoelaces are probably untied but you donât look. A muscle jumps in your left eyelid. You reach up to rub at it but your blanket tangles at your arm. Itâs Monday morning. There is class in fifty two minutes. Your mouth is very dry. Your lips are chapped.
âGood morning,â says your roommate, and the corner of your mouth rips open when you croak out a response.
Itâs Tuesday. You have class in twelve minutes and the inside of your skull is infested with maggots and worms boring in and out of the bone. You blink and take the first rattling breath of the day, because your lungs apparently donât do their job correctly when you sleep and decide that shallow half-breaths are an acceptable way to live. It takes a minute to accustom yourself to a full chest of air for the first time in five hours. Itâs fine, itâs just a thing that you have to get used to, probably, and so your first breath always rattles and, oh, todayâs Iâm-actually-alive rattlebreath is particularly moribund. Under your skin the worms twist in and out of the bone. You feel a maggot wiggling in the back of your eye socket, next to the nerve.
On days like this you feel like a rotting building, wind stabbing through windows and ratshit on the floor, your creaky coldmetal skeleton half an inch away from being soaked by the rain, drywall already soaked through, spongy, skin stained by spray paint and smog, scaffolding all rusty with the edges sticking out like shrapnel. There is sleepcrust on your eyes and itâs just on the edge of uncomfortable that it slips into a familiar half-pain half-irritation, but you donât want to touch it because itâs infested with larvae, and you donât want to smear that so that it can get to your pupil, and inside of your eyeball--
No, thatâs not right--
Itâs Tuesday. Class is in nine minutes. You fumble to check your phone-- you have too many texts, too many emails, scrolling down and down and one of them is from your ex, Jesus, itâs too early for this, and âdo you think we could have worked if you could just haveâ--no, no, too fucking early. One of the texts is from your sister and it says âyo mom says to be free on april 18,â and thatâs acceptable, for this time of day. You can do that. You have class in six minutes and your spine curls in against the cold, and you rub the sleepcrust from your eye. You are reminded of a dead roly poly bleached white and jammed in the crack of the sidewalk. Maybe today is a sit-in-the-back kind of day.
Itâs Wednesday night, eleven twenty-three p.m., and the gas station is empty except for you and the car and the boy. You breathe slow puffs of vapor. The boy fills up the tank and he fidgets with himself as the gas flows from the nozzle.
âYou can go back in,â he says, half-smiling, apologetic, wringing his hands. âIâll be fine.â
He wonât be fine. Your feet ache dull and your temples ache sharp, and he fidgets some more with the hem of his shirt, checking himself in his reflection on the car window, a long white shape turned dark and distorted. The gas station lights hum a flat yellow-white sound to go with their flat yellow-white glare. You get back into the car.
Thursday morning, and your eyes are that disgusting milky grey-red that comes from staying awake for too long. Last night you got sexiled, and then finally you got to go to bed and you were half asleep when the world turned into muted screeching and your lungs were finally working, now, werenât they, and you havenât had an anxiety attack in months, but you suppose that you were finally due to have a friendly little tumble headlong into frozen glass-shard terror. You considered calling someone, but had judged it to be probably unhelpful in the end. Misery loves company, but it loves solipsism even more, and so you havenât slept in over twenty hours and thatâs fine. Youâve dealt with worse.
Itâs Friday, afternoon, you think, judging by the light coming in through the blinds. Your dreams were a long expanse of dark, dark soil and thunderclouds bruising the sky like charcoal. The clouds had been massive and leonine, all flashing and terrible like what you havenât seen since you went home two years ago and the monsoons bit hard and deep into the islands, drawing blood and howling. You had stood in the middle of the dreamlands and watched as water poured down and the sky had screamed vitriol and you were finally, finally, after all this time, soaked to the bone-- youâd never met a storm you didnât love and youâd been waiting for this one far too long, gasping through the drought hours of sand and sand falling through hourglasses and now gone, gone, gone...
What time did you sleep? The tail end of your memory is soft and mushy and dark like an overripe fruit. Your phone, your phone, whereâs it gone-- four messages.
8:11 am-- hey r u ok where r u?? r u skipping omg do u wanna go get lunch after
9:23 am-- Morning
9:23 am-- Did you ever get to sleep last night?
1:07 pm-- Hey, ur meds arrived, come get them k
Because it is Friday and past two in the afternoon and your dreams left you with the memory of muddy water and humidity snaking across your skin, you go back to sleep.
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Skateboard Sally: PART 2
Taylor scrubs at her newly skinned elbows with disinfectant and hisses in pain. Her cats slink around her bathtub, curious as to why their owner is making so many cat noises. Taylor has dressed herself in sleep shorts and a pink plaid shirt. She sits on the edge of her bath tending to the many injuries all caused by the new devil in her life.
âMrrow?â mewls Meredith, a fat salt and pepper thing of beauty with eyes too big for her face.
âJust my arms are a little scuffed up,â Taylor replies to the pet.
Her other cat Olivia, a snowy feline resembling that of a polar bear cub, hops onto the edge of the bath and slinks against Taylorâs side. Taylor takes a moment from dressing her wounds to scratch her ears. Suddenly her phone pings with a new text message. She reaches over to the wash basket and picks it up. Itâs a text from an unknown number. Taylor hesitates before jumping to the conclusion. Could it be? When she opens the text sheâs left surprised.
Hi, itâs KarlieâŚum.. Today didnât go so well. Uhh maybe we could try something tomorrow? And u could pick the location? HahaâŚđ..kay.
It is singlehandedly the most awkward text Taylor has ever received from anyone ever. She even blushes a little at the clumsiness of the poorly worded message. But thereâs still hate in her heart for this girl. She decides to let the text sit for at least ten minutes before answering. Her doorbell buzzes and she goes to answer it.
âWhatâs up?â she speaks into the mic.
âItâs me, let me up,â says a male voice. Taylor invited her friend Ed to talk about the days events. Heâs got a raw wisdom she can always count on. She unlocks the main doors downstairs and waits for him.
In seconds Ed is knocking on Taylorâs apartment door. âHey, I brought a cake,â he says and presents a chocolate sponge boxed up in a plastic container.
âYouâre a lifesaver,â Taylor giggles and she goes to prepare some coffee in the kitchen. Ed sits himself down at the table and starts cutting the cake for them. Taylorâs curtains are open in the living area letting the city lights sparkle outside her impressive bay window. She had managed to rent herself a rather aesthetically pleasing apartment, one that many of her friends considered luxurious or designer. But she simply humbled herself in her decorating skills.
âSo, whatâs the story with Skateboard Sally?â Ed chuckles. âStill canât believe your GC got away with calling her that. Mad man.â
Taylor slides his cup of coffee towards him and sighs heavily. Her cats come prancing in at the familiar sound of Edâs voice. For some reason they really enjoy his company and slink around his legs whenever heâs near. Olivia pounces into his lap and Meredith lies under his feet at his stool.
âShe and her friends pulled a prank on me today. A really lousy one too,â Taylor begins as she sips her coffee.
Ed slides her a plate of cake and then leans forward with his arms folded, ready to listen to her story. Taylor likes that about her friend. He was always good at physically communicating with someone. She continues to tell Ed all about the photography project and the shed and the skunk onesie boy. He furrows his brow and nods, never once smiling or laughing at her misfortune - not even when she giggles whilst describing how she felt like peeing out of fright.
âThatâs horrible, Taylor. Iâm sorry you had to experience that,â he says solemnly.
âWell, get this. She sent a text to me before you came here.â
Ed raises his eyebrows in anticipation. âIs that so?â
Taylor shows him her phone with the text and his chews on his lip in thought. âItâs like sheâs trying to sound apologetic but doesnât really know how.â
âSomething changed in her when I was on the ground all dirty and crying,â Taylor says. âShe looked at me like sheâd realised how dumb of a move it was.â
âAre you going to text her back?â Ed asks as he hands back the phone.
âShe wants to meet again tomorrow. If I do respond where would I take us?â
âSomewhere with lots of people so she canât cause trouble,â Ed says firmly.
âTrouble is itâs a nature photography project. So like, the city streets arenât gonna cut it.â
âTake her to the beach then. Lots of people still around but youâll still be able to get nature pictures. Rock pools, the waves, cliffs, birds⌠Lots of choice!â Ed suggests.
âThat could be a good idea,â Taylor hums. âWhat should I text back?â
The two of them discuss how to word a reply for the next twenty minutes. Taylor even goes so far as to writing it down on paper first to see what sounds good. After a second cup of coffee each they come to an agreement.
Hey, thank you for your message. Tomorrow Iâll be at the pier at 9am. Wear something beach appropriate. Please do not bring your skateboard - T
Taylor prides herself in how she didnât acknowledge Karlieâs reference to how poorly their first day went. Itâll leave the girl on edge and maybe encourage her to give an actual apology. At least thatâs what she hopes becomes of this. Ed pats her on the back teasingly and nods.
âI think thatâll suffice. Wonder when she'llââ
Taylorâs phone pings with a new message. Itâs from Karlie.
kk c u then.
âC U then,â Ed mocks and Taylor giggles. âListen, bring some sort of weapon okay? Iâm talking pepper spray or a pocket knife.â
âI have a feeling itâll go a little smoother this time round,â Taylor says surely.
âJust bring something?â Ed sighs impatiently. âEven your keys in hand.â
âFine, Iâll keep my keys close,â Taylor assures him. âNow, how about a game of Scrabble!â
âI suddenly have to go,â Ed says with cheeky grin.
âEd!â
âAll right, all right. Pour me another cuppa.â
~*~
Taylor, still slightly shaken from yesterday, feels confident after Edâs words. Sheâs surrounded by people out in the open. Everyone can see her. If Karlie tries anything today sheâll make a scene and Taylor will most likely be saved. But she doubts that sheâs in any danger today. Today sheâs dressed in a dandelion yellow sundress with a sweetheart neckline. Now that her elbows are scratched up she canât wear sleeves either. She wonders if thereâs any other wounds Karlie could possibly inflict on her. Soon enough Karlie strolls up to her, hands stuffed into the pockets of her deep red hoodie. She is wearing her black shorts again and what looks like suitable hiking shoes. Sheâs got a somewhat somber look on her face, one that says sheâs slightly embarrassed to be here. But it gives Taylor confidence.
âGood morning, Karlie,â Taylor says clearly.
âHey,â Karlie replies, mumbled and not half as certain. âWhatâs, uhâŚthe plan for today?â
Taylor smiles politely. âWeâre going to the rock pools. Iâve brought nets so weâre gonna catch some sea creatures,â Taylor replies cheerfully and hands Karlie a small butterfly net. She looks at it warily and takes it. Judging by her side eyeing sheâs probably intimidated by Taylorâs cheerful demeanour.
They head down the pier to the rocky wonderland that is the rock pools. Taylor takes a moment to unpack a mason jar and to scoop some water into it in case they come across anything that canât live out of the pools. Thereâs a large blue sign that encourages people to look and capture for inspection but not take, and then an image of a net with a check mark beside it. There is also a chart of what creatures to avoid touching such as sea urchin and jellyfish. Taylor has been here plenty of times before and is an expert at where to find things. It becomes clear to her that Karlie has not as she hesitates to step onto the slippery rocks.
âBe careful,â Taylor calls over her shoulder. âStay close to me in case you fall. And keep an eye out for anything interesting. Most of these guys are small.â
âThese guys? What exactly are we looking for?â Karlie asks quietly.
âWell there are small fish, clams, sea slugsâ and starfish!â Taylor gasps as she skilfully hops over a rocky ledge to inspect a large pool. She sets down her jar and crouches down, beckoning for Karlie to copy her. Karlie does and peers into the sandy water. Taylor doesnât use her net and instead reaches in with her bare hands to pick up the starfish. This freaks Karlie out.
âWait, what the fuck! You just pick these things up?â she exclaims, bouncing back to her old self for a moment.
âStarfish canât hurt ya,â Taylor smiles. She lays it flat on her hand and inspects it. Itâs a brilliant bright red colour and itâs flesh is making very gradual pulsing movements. âHow about you be the camera girl since youâre too afraid to touch these guys?â
âIâm not afraid, I justâ GET THAT ABOMINATION AWAY FROM ME,â Karlie yells as Taylor brings the starfish to her face.
Taylor starts to genuinely laugh at Karlieâs over the top reaction. Karlie even looks like sheâs about to smirk but she tries to pout it away. She takes the camera out of her purse and snaps a picture of the starfish in Taylorâs hands. âHeâs a cool colour I guess,â she mumbles.
âStarfish actually donât have genders would you believe,â Taylor says. âIsnât that awesome?â
âUh, I suppose?â Karlie replies.
Taylor shakes off her unimpressed tone and they search on. Not a few minutes later and Taylor spots something wriggling in the water. Karlie shies away behind her not wanting to be anywhere near the thing. âWhat is it? A worm or some shit?â
Taylor uses her net this time to fish out the tiniest octopus Karlie has ever seen. Itâs a dull earthy brown and sheâs baffled by how Taylor spotted it. Taylor plops it in their jar of water and it glides about inside. Karlie isnât as afraid of this one since it canât touch them and she gapes in awe at the little creature.
âIsnât it pretty?â Taylor asks, a smile beginning to form on her face whilst she watches Karlieâs intrigue.
âPretty cool,â Karlie replies. She slides a finger down the jar and the octopus wriggles up to it. She nearly cowers back but keeps her balance.
âWhatâs got ya jumping today?â Taylor grins.
âNothing,â Karlie says, almost defensively. But once she sees the look of regret on Taylorâs face she softens her tone. âNothing, I just donât really do this sort of stuff.â
âTake a picture!â Taylor says cheerfully. Karlie does and it turns out looking pretty impressive. They release the octopus back into the rock pools and it speedily wriggles out of sight
âWeâre getting good at this, huh?â Karlie says, still not smiling but sounding more at ease.
âWe sure are! Weâre making good progress,â Taylor replies reassuringly. Karlie makes a sort of half smirk at this as they venture on.
They stay at the rock pools for a whole hour. Taylor finds a number of colourful starfish and even a few crabs. Karlie is proud of herself when she spots a hermit crab skittering along a mountain of scallops. Taylor smiles at her as she eagerly takes a few pictures, seemingly lost in the activity and not noticing her watchful eyes.
âThose little things are fucking legit,â Karlie utters as she looks back on the pictures.
âWell Iâm glad you think that,â Taylor says. âWeâve taken a lot of pictures. Do you wanna go get something to eat?â
âUh, what like the two of us?â Karlie asks looking up from the camera.
âThereâs no one else doing this with us so yes,â Taylor says amusedly.
âLike aâŚâ Karlie trails off.
âA what?â Taylor asks. Sheâs genuinely confused about why Karlie is tiptoeing around getting food together.
ââŚNothing. Uh, I donât have a lot of money on me.â
âThatâs all right, Iâll pay.â
Karlieâs eyes widen. âYou fucking will your ass,â she huffs. âYouâre not my boyfriend.â
âDo you have a boyfriend?â Taylor asks.
âNo?â
âThen Iâll be the perfect substitute. Grow up and letâs get some sushi,â Taylor says as she empties her mason jar and puts it in her beach bag. Karlie protests further but Taylor shrugs it off. They come to a touristy fish restaurant, one of Taylorâs favourite eating establishments.
âSelâs Catch?â Karlie reads staring up at the welcome sign.
âIâve got a friend whoâs family owns the place. Do you like fish?â Taylor asks.
âYeah, sure⌠Is this place expensive?â
âItâs reasonable,â Taylor shrugs. âBut we can go somewhere cheaper if youâd like. This place is just a real favourite of mine. They never disappoint. You havenât been here before?â
âNo, I havenât.â
âCome on then, you canât miss a chance to eat here!â Taylor grins as she opens the door for Karlie, the buzz of the diners flooding out of the building. They are seated by a sunny window and Karlie shyly skims over the menu. Taylor wasnât lying when she said the prices werenât too bad but she still doesnât have enough money for half of the things sheâs interested in. She wasnât expecting a lunch date today.
âI can help you choose something,â Taylor suggests, knocking Karlie out of her daze.
âUh, thatâs okay thanks. I donât think I have enough toââ
âWe can get something to share!â Taylor insists. âThereâs seafood baskets for two here somewhere,â Taylor says and flips the menu about until she comes to what sheâs looking for. âWe can split the bill, theyâre not much,â she says with a friendly smile.
Karlie then looks Taylor in the eye. Her gaze isnât angered or annoyed. Itâs scared.
âWhy are you being nice to me?â she asks slowly.
Taylorâs smile falters. She places the menu down and folds her arms. She stares Karlie back and replies quietly and clearly. âBecause two wrongs do not make a right. I donât want to get even with you. I want to mendâŚwhatever this is. I do not think that what you did yesterday was okay. But I will happily accept any apology you have so that we can forget about it and move forward.â
Karlie blinks back in disbelief. She opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out.
âNow whoâs the goldfish,â Taylor murmurs teasingly.
A waitress interrupts their little interrogation. She takes a second to tighten her brunette ponytail and smiles warmly. âTaylor, hey! Am I glad to see you.â
âHey, Selena,â Taylor smiles back. âI brought a friend to lunch today.â She motions her arms towards Karlie whoâs sinking down I her seat slightly.
âNice to meet ya!â Selena says and holds out a hand for her to shake awkwardly. It is no surprise to Karlie that Taylorâs friends are just as cheery as she is. And for some reason itâs intimidating her. âWhat are you guys having?â Selena beams.
âI think weâll have the medium Fishermanâs Feast. And two Cokes. That okay with you, Karlie?â Taylor asks and Karlie nods dumbly.
âAwesome. Weâll get that fixed right up for you. Would you like some complimentary shrimp toast to start you off?â
âThatâd be lovely,â Taylor smiles and hands Selena the menus. She folds her arms again and faces Karlie, a soft expression on her face. âI think youâll like this. They catch everything fresh every morning. Selenaâs hoping theyâre gonna get their five stars soon. Thereâs gonna be a big party if the critiques let it pass. Maybe youâd like to go,â Taylor says nonchalantly. She knows her casual friendliness is tearing Karlie to pieces. And to be honest, itâs better than revenge.
Taylor does most of the talking the rest of their time at the restaurant. Karlie nods and hums when appropriate, rarely making a comment or contributing to the conversation at first. But Taylor is good at filling silence and keeps things interesting. Or at least, not painstakingly quiet. Eventually Karlie comes out of her shell and starts talking too.
âDo you like the food?â Taylor asks as they both chew on their calamari.
âYeah, itâs tasty butâŚI guess I feel kinda weird eating those little guys.â
Taylor nearly spits out her bite and chuckles at Karlie. âNothing we caught today is on our plate. Unless you wanna try the sea urchin. But I wouldnât recommend.â
âYou sure knew a lot about the rock pools,â Karlie comments as she cuts off the crispy tail of a shrimp.
âMy dad used to take me to the beach as a little girl every Friday. Sometimes the whole family would go. I used to live down on Rhode, ya know?â
âWhyâd you move to Long Beach?â
âMy dad has a friend thatâs worked at the university for a long time. I got in quickly. They still live in Rhode though. The distance is kinda hard but they call me all the time. Plus my aunt lives close and my family visits whenever they can anyway, so itâs not so bad. I got friends here, itâs not lonely. And I love New York! I love the simultaneous beach and city life.â
Karlie nods to herself as she listens to Taylorâs little life story. She seems genuinely happy with her life and it suddenly occurs to her that she has brought a darkness into it. Feeling guilty Karlie goes quiet again. When it comes time to pay she is quick to pull out her half of the bill. They exit in silence.
âThat was so good,â Taylor sighs contentedly.
âYeahâŚuh, Yeah.â
âYou okay?â she giggles. âWell, I think thatâs enough action for today. You wanna walk me home?â
âUh, sure,â Karlie mumbles. Â
Taylor was kidding but she decides to let the girl follow her to her apartment block. She feels that thereâs a newfound trust between them. They come to the front step and Taylor turns to Karlie. âThanks for caring about the project. Iâm sure weâll have it finished in no time. You wanna set up the next date?â
Karlie seems to flinch slightly after hearing the way Taylor has worded it. But itâs only minor. She forces a tiny half smirk and nods. âYou sure you wanna trust me in doing that?â
âYou still havenât apologised for yesterday but I do,â Taylor nods. âI trust you.â
Karlie looks down, ashamed. She shuffles her feet about and then looks up again. âOkay⌠Um, Iâll have to think about where.â
âThatâs okay, just get back to me soon,â Taylor smiles and uses her security card to get inside. It beeps and the doors unlock. âSee you âround,â she says as she steps inside. Sheâs about to close the door but Karlie plunges her foot between the closing gap.
âWaitâ Uh, IâŚâ Karlie exclaims as she swings her backpack around and roots for something. Taylor opens the door and watches her intently. Karlie fishes out a small blue gift bag and holds it in front of her. âHere,â she mutters.
âWhatâs this?â Taylor smiles as she takes it.
âJust take it,â Karlie mumbles hurriedly. âBye,â she says as she turns on heel and sprints down Taylorâs street.
Taylor blinks in surprise at her change in character but takes the bag upstairs to her apartment. Once sheâs inside she places it on her kitchen table and stares for a while. What could it possibly be? Taylor turns on her coffee machine and it hums into life. She sits down and rests her elbows on the table, puffing out her cheeks and blowing a few strands of baby hair out of the way. The blue paper bag stares back at her. Taylor dares herself to slide a hand in and as it met with the feel of crepe paper. She smiles slowly and pulls out whatâs inside. Removing the decorative paper she finds a brand new pastel pink hairband. It almost looks just like her old one, bar a dainty red heart on both sides. Karlie has attached a small hand written note to it.
Mistakes were made âK
âBetter than any spoken word,â Taylor chuckles and picks up the hair piece to examine.
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