#u don’t even have to be close to me or ever interacted w me or anything

[floral-sacrifice]

i find it so interesting how my writer friends say things like “if i wrote this, would anyone read it?” like yes bro. i wanna read it. idc if i don’t know the characters. idc if it’s ooc. idc if it’s 20k crack chatfic. it’s YOURS. i want to read !!!!!!!

especially because as a visual artist, i draw whatever the hell i want, and blast it into my friend’s dms even if they don’t gaf (unless it’s like. triggering for them obv)

i have a friend who has requested i send her every sketch of a certain OC ever bc she thinks she’s hot as hell. i have a friend who begs me to shut up about my blorbos (lighthearted) but is always down to see my fanart. when i draw something, my first thought is never “nobody wants to see it.” brother I want to see it, that’s enough for me!!

and i understand writing is totally different in that stories are meant to be seen by others, and that there’s apparently a culture over there of like. people judging ur skill based on ur reader count (meanwhile there’s absolute garbage getting professionally published, and there’s some fics i’ve read that rival classic literature that have few readers bcs it’s so niche) but ahhh if i could free my bros from the idea of “ifs not popular so i suck” i could die happy. genuinely.

y’all need to write more self-indulgent shit, more weird shit, more deranged/problematic/simple/short/long/horny/tropey/etc shit. “the symbolism is too heavy handed!!” good, i can enjoy it without needing to think like i’m in a college class. “it’s too OOC!!” that’s fine, i don’t know the characters anyway. “it’s too dark, people won’t wanna read it…” hello?? whump is the best genre of everything ever. everyone i know LOVES angst or at least hurt/comfort.

y’all gotta stop being creative for others and start being creative for urselves. this applies to everything btw. “ugly” illustrations. “weird” music. “cringe” fics. “unwearable” clothing and textiles. i know a guy who collects sale stickers because he likes how bright the colors are and he puts them all over his sketchbooks. if someone doesn’t want to see your stuff, or they think it’s ugly, then their taste is just different than yours .

lots of people LOVE christian pop music, it’s personally not for me, but i won’t say “i don’t like it so it must be bad/unskilled/uncreative/etc”. i say “it’s not my favorite, but i can send your song to someone i know who likes this stuff.”

there’s been exactly two occasions where i beta read something that i just couldn’t force myself to read through, and instead of saying “this is ass u gotta rewrite it” i say “hey, i have a friend who loves this kind of thing, i think they would be able to offer more constructive feedback.”

you don’t ask a food critic to critique a horror movie, you dont ask a minimalist how you should decorate your maximalist house. it’s kind of the same concept as what im saying

this sounds preachy as hell but i genuinely just wanna see more weird stuff and more cringe stuff, and i want my bros to stop shitting on themselves because someone didn’t like their stuff. if YOU like it, there is at least one other guy who LOVES it, and if you can’t find that guy, it’s ME 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[igorluvr]

' MIROTIC

PAIRING: kwon jiyong (gdragon) x reader

SYNOPSIS: “You're crazy about me, you can't escape me—I got you under my skin” After hopelessly falling for a member of the group you dance for, you try tirelessly to reject the feelings only to find out he’s well aware (and won’t let it go.) INSPIRED BY:: MIROTIC- TVXQ!

CONTENT: fluff as always, lots of pet names i’m sorryyy, pda

AUTHORS NOTE: can u guys tell im obsessed w 2nd gen boy groups ??? anywayssss first fic in a couple months i hope u enjoyyyy!!

word count: [2.7k]

IT had officially been 7 months since you started as a backup dancer for Bigbang, and it was everything you ever dreamed of. You made core memories with people you never even imagined meeting, got to tour all around the world while getting paid for it, and best of all, did all of this with the man you found yourself infatuated with.

Usually, you don’t believe in love at first sight, but that all went out the window the second you saw GD. Everything about him drew you in like a magnet. His style, the way he carried himself, the love he showed everyone— it all melted your heart.

The first time you met, he treated you with so much class and respect. You knew it was basically the bare minimum, but it was rare to see people doing that nowadays. He always had a smile on his face when approaching you and never hesitated to ask if you needed to go over a step again. Of course, this was how he acted with everyone, but it struck you so much harder for some reason.

Every time the choreography called for the two of you to interact, you felt like a high schooler again. His touch sent volts through your body, and your heart pumped as if you’d just run a marathon. Usually, despite working with him most of the week, Jiyong kept his distance from you. So it surprised you when he suddenly got really close.

It was out of nowhere— a random practice for a track when you two had to dance together. You found yourself forgetting counts and second-guessing your moves. Unexpectedly, a pair of hands grabbed your shoulders, rubbing them gently to calm you down.

“Relax, jagiya, you’re thinking too hard…” he said, smiling at you through the mirror. Your eyebrows furrowed as his words echoed in your mind. Where was this sudden affection coming from? Swiftly, Jiyong grabbed your hand and turned you around. “Let’s do it together, okay?”

As he counted the music out loud, you found that his encouragement actually helped. Occasionally messing up, you worked slowly and eventually got the choreography right.

After running through it a couple of times with the whole group, it was finally time to go home. As much as you wanted to go up to Jiyong and thank him for the help, your mind was clouded with his actions— it was too much for you to face him. Just as you were about to walk out, an arm draped around your shoulder.

“Leavin’ so soon? I wanted to talk to you for a bit. I mean, we’ve been working together all this time and never had a real conversation,�� Ji said, turning back to the other members and winking. You took note of this but didn’t say anything.

“Sure. Um, what do you wanna talk about?” you asked, cursing yourself in your head. Who even asks someone what they want to talk about? ‘Just be cool,’ you repeated in your mind, trying to bring yourself back to earth, even though the whole situation confused you.

He laughed seeing you so nervous. Unbeknownst to you, Jiyong was aware of your crush on him. He actually loved it. I mean, come on— who wouldn’t love the idea of someone as gorgeous as you liking someone like him?

To be honest, he didn’t notice at first. He thought you were just naturally shy until Seunghyun said something to him. It was a day when all the members were hanging out over lunch, and the backup dancers got brought up— of course, you were the main topic.

“Have you ever noticed how awkward she is around you? I think she has feelings for you,” Seunghyun admitted, causing Daesung to slam his fist on the table and exclaim.

“I thought I was the only one who noticed! I swear, it’s like she doesn’t know how to function around you.” He laughed. Jiyong furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. You acted like that with everyone, right? “Yeah, man, she’s always so upbeat, but when you come in, it’s like she forgets how to speak,” Taeyang added.

“You really think so?” he asked, thinking back to all the times you interacted. Yeah, there was that one time you were alone in the break room when he came in to charge his phone, and you left like he had the plague. Or the other time when he put his hands on your waist during a dance and saw your smile grow in the mirror. But was that because you liked him?

Suddenly, an idea came to mind. He had to see it for himself. He devised this plan to tease you until you admitted it. Usually, he’d leave things like this alone, but you were too perfect for him to let your crush just fizzle away.

So now, he was using every opportunity to talk to you and give small touches. If you expressed any concern, he’d stop and address it directly, but for now, everything seemed to be going smoothly.

“What was going on at practice today? You’re usually so on top of the choreography. Is… something on your mind?” he asked slyly, staring so deeply into your eyes you swore he spaced out.

“Kind of, not really. Never mind, it’s nothing. Just a harder dance, that’s all,” you said, stumbling. Every word you spoke dug you into a deeper hole. He could read you like an open book, and you knew it.

His smirk grew as he came up with an idea. “Let’s see. I’ll give you my number so you can ask me any questions, okay?” His act slipped a little with those last words.

There was no hiding your smile. You pulled your phone out and handed it to him a little too quickly, still trying to convince yourself this was real. As he typed in his number and handed the phone back, you saw that he set the contact as ‘Ji 💕’.

Maybe you were overthinking it, but why the heart? Did he just want his name to stand out, or was it more than that? The possibilities flooded your mind so much that you forgot he was actually right in front of you.

“I’m gonna head out now, but don’t be afraid to text me. I’ll make sure to respond,” he said with a smile before leaving the room. You stood in the same spot for minutes, replaying everything that happened, occasionally catching the boys glancing your way. Why was he acting so different? And why was it affecting you so much?

Over the next week, he continued acting the same way. It sent you into a spiral— why was he acting so different? Each day, you lost your mind a little more. But that Monday was when it really got serious. Groggily, you walked to the break room, freshly woken up and regretting staying up so late. As you prepared to make coffee to wake yourself up, a familiar hand grabbed the cup before you did.

“Oh, don’t worry about that, princess. I got it. Just sit down and relax. It’s early,” Jiyong said with a smirk, rubbing your arm softly. Not enough to intrude, but enough for you to get chills and giggle to yourself.

Wanting to sit back down anyway, you found the couch and relaxed. A few minutes later, Jiyong returned with two coffees, handing you yours before taking a seat beside you.

His actions over the past few days confused you. I mean, it’s not like you were complaining. You’d been crushing on this man for months. Had your feelings finally been reciprocated?

“So, what’s been on your mind, pretty?” His words made your heart flutter as you took a sip of your coffee to hide your smile. He knew exactly how to say things to give you butterflies, and somehow, he even made your drink taste better. Honestly, it might’ve been a little better than what you made yourself.

“Just trying to get everything sorted out,” you said, nervous but feeling more at ease than the previous week.

Jiyong noticed and loved that you were starting to get more comfortable around him. Your body language was less tense, and bits of your personality were shining through. He was getting closer to his goal than he thought.

“Well, I hope I can make it better, darling. How do you like your coffee? I noticed you usually make the same kind every day and decided to give it a try,” he said casually. Was he really that perceptive, or was it just for you? As you calmed your mind, you found the strength to respond. “It’s really good, thank you.”

He chuckled softly, biting his lip slightly. His smile was to die for, always turning you to mush. His arm reached across the top of the couch, causing the veins in his neck and arms to stand out. He knew this would drive you crazy—that’s why he loved doing it.

Somehow, his instincts proved right. As soon as you glanced at him in this position, you found yourself inspecting every part of his body you’d never noticed before. His muscles and arm tattoos stood out more than ever, and you couldn’t tear your eyes away.

“Like what you see? Don’t get too caught up—you’ll see more later,” he said, voice playful. You snapped yourself out of the spell he’d cast. You saw him laughing to himself as if your admiration amused him. He loved making you like this and had no intention of stopping anytime soon.

The rest of the conversation flowed slowly but surely, with him occasionally doing things to catch your attention. You were head over heels for him— there was no denying it anymore.

Matters only got worse later at practice. As you were setting down your things to warm up, you heard a shocked, “Dude, he’s actually doing it,” from Daesung, followed by the others laughing. You turned around, curious, only to be met with a sight burned into your memory forever.

Jiyong stood at the door, shirtless, glistening with sweat, towel draped over his shoulder, water bottle in hand. The way the light reflected off his body made your knees weak. He reached a hand up to his hair, shook it out slightly, giving it a messier look. Before, you thought he couldn’t get any sexier— now you knew for sure he always could.

Walking toward you with a low gaze, Jiyong had that huge smile you loved so much. “You ready, jagiya? Gotta give it all we got today,” he said, taking your hands as you both got into position to dance.

The hours flew by as you practically had the choreography engraved in your mind. Every beat was hit flawlessly as your bodies moved in harmony. The feeling of his bare chest pressed against yours gave you enough serotonin to last days. He wouldn’t admit it yet, but to Jiyong, dancing with you made him feel ten years younger— as if he had no worries, only thinking of you and your safety.

As everyone packed up and prepared to leave, you were once again met by your soon-to-be lover. He looked even better— panting, sweating, leaning on the wall as he caught his breath.

“Hey, sweetie. Y'know, me and the boys are going clubbing tonight. You should come with. I wanna see you all dolled up for me,” he said smoothly, words laced with charm. Of course, you fell for it.

“Yes—I mean, sure. What time do I need to be ready?” No amount of masking could hide your excitement now. He invited you out? There was no passing this up. After he shared all the details, the two of you headed home to prepare for the night.

Both nervous and excited, you tried to get every detail of your outfit just right. Meanwhile, GD was already with the others, “pregaming” and plotting how to make the night even more special.

“Just ask her out already! I’m starting to feel bad for her, and it’s only been a week,” Taeyang exclaimed. When Jiyong told everyone he invited you, you became the main topic for the next few hours.

“We can tell you like her, man. This playboy act isn’t gonna last long,” Seunghyun added, sinking onto the large couch with a sigh. Though he enjoyed teasing, he felt it affecting him more than he let on.

“Okay, fine!” Jiyong finally said. “I’ll tell her how I feel tonight. But you guys have to help me.”

As everyone agreed and started making a plan, you sat at home, putting the finishing touches on your look. Everything looked perfect— hair, outfit, makeup—all coming together effortlessly.

About 45 minutes later, your phone buzzed with a message: they were pulling into your driveway. After spraying enough perfume to rival a Victorian aristocrat, you stepped out, staring at your phone as if you were texting someone. No matter what you wore, nerves were impossible to hide.

Unbeknownst to you, Jiyong felt like he’d fallen in love the moment you sat down beside him in the car. You were gorgeous. At practice, you were beautiful— but here, outside of work, you looked genuinely breathtaking.

He was jolted out of his trance by a tap on his shoulder. “You look beautiful, darling,” he breathed, delicately scooping your hand into his and kissing it. The scent of your perfume on your wrists hit him and made him even weaker.

As you all arrived at the club and exited the car, nerves shot through your body. This was the first time you’d hung out with the members outside of work events— no managers, no business talk, just friends enjoying each other’s company.

The club was packed— an understatement. People flooded every inch, and the music was so loud you could barely hear yourself think. After pushing through crowds for a few minutes, you found an empty booth in a far corner— secluded enough to avoid being swarmed, yet close enough to see everything.

After three shots, you felt yourself sinking into the couch. You sat still for a few minutes, taking in the environment. Suddenly, the cushions shifted beside you as Jiyong took a seat. He watched the crowd for a bit, trying to see things from your perspective, then finally spoke.

“You like it here, pretty?” you smiled and nodded, still gazing into the crowd. You wanted to join in, but nerves held you back. Being surrounded by strangers and the man you had feelings for caused you to retreat into your shell.

He noticed and decided to make sure you had a good time. In a swift move, he took your arm gently and led you into the dance floor.

The music was fast— electrifying. It matched how you felt in his touch. He started dancing first, occasionally striking poses he knew would make you laugh. After all, it’s a club. He wanted you to have fun.

Gradually, you started bouncing to the beat. Your nerves fluttered away, revealing your true personality. Both of your moves eventually synced, creating a chaotic, joyful rhythm. Maybe it was the drinks, or maybe it was him, but you felt more at ease than you had in a long time.

As the song transitioned into a softer, calmer track, Jiyong’s hands found your waist, pulling you closer. He hesitated for a second, gazing into your eyes to ensure you were comfortable. Nodding, you allowed him to pull you in again— this time, even closer.

Now face to face, swaying drunkenly to the gentle music, you looked up at him in awe. His bright hair glowing under the neon lights, shadows accentuating the grooves of his face, his deep brown eyes fixed on yours— there was no denying it. You were in love.

His hands grew heavier, tighter on your waist, as he let out a low chuckle. “Y’know, you’re really bad at hiding your feelings, love,” he said softly. Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him.

“Oh, don’t play dumb now. I’ve noticed how you act around me. It’s cute—I like it,” he added, a teasing smile on his face. Your eyes widened as realization sank in. He knew you liked him? You replayed all your interactions, trying to figure out when you had made it obvious.

Seeing your panic, he gently placed a hand on your cheek. “Relax, it’s okay,” he said, rubbing his thumb softly on your skin. His gaze flickered between your eyes and lips, eager to finally do what he’d wanted for weeks.

“Can I?” he asked quietly. All he needed was a nod. Gently, he lifted your face with one hand and pressed his lips to yours. Everything around you seemed to slow down. The neon light flickered heavily, mimicking the pounding heartbeat in your chest.

His touch was warm and steady, lips gentle but sure— words couldn’t fully express what he felt. His hands on your waist tightened just a little, pulling you closer, grounding you in the moment. When he finally pulled back, his eyes lingered on yours with a soft smile, leaving you both breathless and more connected than ever.

You stood there for a moment, soaking in what just happened. You couldn’t believe it— the man you’d been longing for months just kissed you, and it was perfect. Jiyong lowered his head slightly and smirked.

“In case you couldn’t tell, I like you back,” he said softly. You laughed shyly before replying, “Yeah, I got that,” with a smile.

As you made your way back to the booth where the others were, they looked at you both with knowing eyes. Jiyong had successfully won the woman of his dreams, and you had just met your perfect man.

[dreamyinception-world]

𝑳𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑶𝒃𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆

Pairing: Camboy!Park Seonghwa + Puppy Boy!Kim Hongjoong

w//c: 6k

Genre: College!Au, Smut + Friends with Benefits

Summary: Being a camboy is a lot of hard work– keeping everything private from becoming public, entertaining his audience and training a needy puppy, who has a lot more up his sleeve than meets the eye. 

Tws: Swearing/Foul Language, Slightly Judgmental Friends

Sws: Puppy Play, Cyber Sex, Fingering, Blowjobs, Sex Toys (bone ball gag and cock ring), Degrading (consensual; both receiving), Dirty Talking, Humiliation, Deep Throating/Throat Fucking, Dacryphilia, Cum Swapping/Eating, Biting, Multiple Orgasms, Creampie, Unprotected Sex, Switching (both because why the hell not), Light Subspace Slipping, Hair pairing, Dick Slapping, Exhibitionism

Rating: 18+ 

𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕣'𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕖: hello everyone! long time no see! sorry that’s been so long since my last one shot! i’ve been super busy with work and haven’t had the time to write anything. BUT, since the release of ateez’s concept photo teasers with pink haired hwa, i knew i had to make a fic out of it. we all knew it was going to happen. anyways, y'all didn’t come here for me to ramble. enjoy the fic! if any tags were left out, please let me know!

𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕠𝕥𝕥𝕠𝕞. 𝕄𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕒𝕘𝕖 𝕚𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕒𝕕𝕕𝕖𝕕!

As a reminder, my work is only for those who are eighteen years or older. Anyone who attempts to interact with my work or blog who is underage will be blocked immediately. You have been warned. 

©𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏-𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 2024 || 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒓 𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ♡

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *

There are parts of oneself that people don’t mind keeping out and open to the general public– friendships, achievements, milestones– the pleasant things that would make one appear to be like an average person. There was nothing wrong with being average, even boring if that’s what life had in store.

Or what you want everyone to think life has in store for you. 

Like a beautifully thin veiled piece of colored glass, people can see whatever part they want to– never truly getting a glimpse of the other side. Most become too distracted by the rainbows and glamor of it to investigate anything further. 

And that is exactly how Seonghwa liked to have things. 

It wasn’t personal really– is what he would say if he was held at gunpoint–  to keep things from his friends, even the ones that were considered family to them. But, at some point when certain activities became available for his leisure, a level of ambiguity was needed.

Most especially with certain friends. 

Take his damn near blood sister Julie– typical yapper friend who talks about everything and everyone that she hears about, because “anything can be talked about, nothing is off limits unless explicitly said so!” She was both the funniest but also the most dramatic friend that he had.

And even that was almost an understatement. 

“Seonghwa~~” She rolled up next to him while he was completing an assignment outside, parking her chin onto his shoulder, sporting the largest pout ever. Her voice came out in an almost unbearable whine close to that of a child, matching with her rapid tugs on his arm. 

“What~? I’m doing something.” He chuckled and fake brushed her off, laughing a bit harder when she gripped his arm tighter. 

“I’m so drained from last class’ exam. Can we please go out tonight? I need to let off some steam so badly.” 

“You know I can’t go out tonight.” 

Julie whines and wiggles more next to him, stirring him away from his work. Seonghwa kept a patient and slightly sympathetic face, after being trained for years to handle his friend’s antics, and held her hands between his as he calmly explained his plans that he has every week– going to see his family that lives about an hour from the university they all go to. 

A bubbling “argument” began to creep into their conversation until their other mutual friend– who was on the complete opposite scale of Julie’s personality entirely– Giselle and her partner welcomed themselves to the otherside of the picnic bench. 

“What are you guys bickering about now?” She questioned with the roll of her eyes, clearly messing with Julie. 

The exact reaction made the girl slam her hands down on the table, getting as close as she could with the bulk of the table being caught in between them, as she feigned glassy eyes. 

“Seonghwa won’t skip this one trip to see family to come out with me because I had a hard day. He’s a bad friend and I don’t wanna be close to him anymore.” Her body bounces back onto the wooden seat with arms crossed, side-eying the shit out of the male in question as he lets out a small snort. 

They both knew that she wouldn’t truly cut him off, even if she could, being that they are too close to ever become legitimately separated. But, Seonghwa decided to not push her further, bringing himself back to his work as his three friends talked. He became so engrossed in the last bit of his assignment that he was completing that he nearly missed the conversation of cam work that flowed between the group. 

“Wait, wait, wait.” Julie held her hands up, almost feeling dizzy by the information. “You’re saying that someone at our school is doing livestreamed sex work?”

“I don’t know for certain,” Giselle’s partner piped in, resting their chin on the shoulder that was offered to them. “But, it’s definitely a rumor that’s been going around for the past couple days or so?” 

The aspect of the rumor didn’t really matter to anyone, as gossip made its way around campus on a consistent basis. However, today it was just enough for his extremely bored and gossip loving friend to send her off the rails with questions about it. 

Is the person a boy? A girl? Do they look like anybody that they would know or have seen?

They weren’t able to respond back that quickly, as the budding of the hearsay had only begun to spread around. Without having much information to back it on, they were left mostly to their imagination, only knowing that they seemed to be pretty popular amongst the ones who frequented their streams. 

“Do you have a photo?” Her eyes nearly bulged out of her skull when they fished their phone out. Within a few seconds of scrolling, they presented the one image they had. 

Seonghwa kept his fingers moving and body still, glancing out of the corner of his eyes. 

The image was blurry, clearly taken from someone’s computer screen, with broken lines cutting across the frame. All that could be seen were a pair of lips, laced up in a smirk, with something that looked like a feather being situated in the middle of their partially exposed torso– appearing to be more of a motion rather than an actual pose. 

“What the hell! This is such a shit picture.” Julie grabbed the phone, seemingly trying to render the picture quality with her eyes. She was ceremoniously interrupted by Giselle’s rough snatch of her partner’s phone, casting a glare in her direction.

“Well it’s not like we took it. If you wanna go and see the person clearer, go fucking watch their stream yourself.” Giselle grunted.

“No way, I have a roommate and I don’t want them seeing me watch that.” Julie made a small face of disgust, unknowingly making Seonghwa feel a tinge of hurt before she relaxed herself against his shoulder. 

“Besides, I'll get too jealous.” 

Giselle’s partner brought his attention over to Seonghwa, noticing his lack of response during the entire conversation. 

“What do you think, Hwa?” 

The boy hummed in response, looking up from his laptop to all eyes being placed on him. He couldn’t help the small smile that was forming inside of him at the curiosity of his friends. It felt all familiar to the lengths of desperation of the ones who came to join him during his nightly sessions.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Thursday, May 14th – 23:45 PM 

Time streaming: 1:25:57 

“Wow, wow would you look at the time? I suppose I should start getting ready for my needy puppies shouldn’t I?” 

The corners of his pink glossed lips curved up into a smirk, leaning over and taking a small drag of something off screen. He leans back into his chair, purposefully allowing his legs to fall open as he slowly blows it out towards the camera, timing his hand running from his neck to his chest all the way down to his semi hard bulge through his sparkly black fleshed bottoms. He takes the time to tug at the waistband before letting it snap back against his skin, flashing his teeth at the speed of the comments. 

Seonghwa lets out a short hum, lulling his finger over some of the comments before it stops on one in particular, having donated a large sum of money in the form of cat ears to him. 

msoong_998: you’re such a tease. just take your clothes off for us already. 

Though the viewers couldn’t see his eyes, thanks to the angle of the camera, they narrowed instinctively. 

This person had the audacity to rush him into his work while paying him so much money? They came here for him and want things to be quick? 

How pathetic and desperate.

What a perfect little puppy for him. 

He had every intention to make him his special target for tonight. 

“Hm, this person, msoong? Right?” He spoke lazily, the bottom of his tongue swiping out. 

“You’re demanding me to get ready fast for you? So you can jerk yourself off and be done with me? You’re so needy and desperate it’s borderline pathetic. ” He hides a small chuckle behind his hand, moving his legs over the arms of the chair. The comments flood in, some criticizing the commenter and the other ogling over his body becoming more and more loose and exposed to the camera.

Seonghwa dismisses them all with a light wave of his hand, satisfied with what he has seen, in desire for something better. 

“Now, don’t be mean to him. He doesn’t know any better. He can’t help being so weak. Clearly some of us are so used to being with people who will put out quick. All we need is a little..obedience would you say?” 

It takes only but a few minutes for him to prepare himself, and in tow his audience, setting a small collar on a hook just below the camera with the end of the leash within his grasp. He excuses himself with slow strides, only disappearing for a moment before he returns with something that he deems to be more “comfortable” for him to train his little puppies in. 

Dawning a black crop top, two sparkly belly chains and fuzzy toothless knee highs, he rests himself comfortably back in his earlier position, taking the end of the loop between his fingers. 

“All puppies need a little bit of training. How lucky you all are that I’m the best teacher.”

The ding of donations flooding in brings a wide smile to Seonghwa’s face, leaning into the camera to show off the sheen of his raspberry scented skin, glistening under the glow of his assorted warm toned lights. He made an effort to adjust the edge of his high socks, humming at the snap of it against his skin.

“Oh! I almost forgot~” He spoke in a sing song tone, moving his rolling chair back to make room as he stood. 

For the first time ever, he brought his whole face into view with only a black lace masquerade mask obscuring the upper portion. His blue lensed eyes glimmered against the screen, almost standing out against his bubblegum pink hair.

“Am I pretty?” He questioned cutely, cocking his head to the side with a heated look in his eyes. 

puppup_yu: fuck, i would love to see those pretty eyes looking up at me from between my legs.

Seonghwa bit the corner of his lip from the comment, feeling himself getting more excited by the filth being thrown his way that he almost forgot about the task at hand. He playfully rolled his eyes, clapping his hands together to bring everyone’s attention back.

“Now, to train you all very well, I brought in an adorable little puppy to use as a reference. Please send lots of paws and love to him, okay?”

Straightening himself, he lifted his hands to wave at someone off screen. A sound of jingles could be heard as a smaller man crawled into view on all fours, clearly trembling as he kept his eyes trained on Seonghwa.

He wore nothing except for a pair of hazelnut floppy ears, a bone gag strapped securely in his mouth and the jingling dog collar— reading “Joongie” when reflected against the light. 

Once in front of the taller man, he sat in wait, panting and clearly covered in a thinly veiled sheen of sweat, leaving it very clear to the viewers that he had been aroused in some manner prior to introducing himself to Seonghwa’s audience.

That, and the blue ring secured around his flushed cock.

“This is my puppy, Hongjoongie. Isn’t he adorable?” 

It wasn’t a question really, at least Hongjoong was sure of it.

But his mind didn’t let him ponder on it for too long when those same pair of blue eyes came down into his view, smiling like a cat who was ready to devour him.

It took everything in his power to not whimper at the finger that hooked around the loop of his collar to pull him closer, and the following tongue that ran over the bone and his lips. He dug his nails into his palm to hold himself still as Seonghwa repeated the action two more times before kissing over it and on his forehead.

“My helpless little fuck toy.” Seonghwa breathed into his face, the mix of fruit and sweets hitting Hongjoong’s senses, instinctively making him let out a small groan.

Something about the reaction pleased Seonghwa, being kind enough to reach behind his head and release the bone from his mouth. The brunette immediately panted, tongue slightly lulled out of his mouth.

“Do you know why I have to put this bone in his mouth?” Seonghwa asked the audience, waving it to and fro in his hand.

“It’s so that he will obey orders and know not to speak out of line.” He said cheerfully, placing the gag off to the side. Once in view again, his demeanor changed, staring straight into the camera with burning eyes.

“Rule number one, always obey your owner. Right msoong?”

He plopped back down into his chair, now facing Hongjoong, and leaned back comfortably, rolling his head over and chuckling lightly.

“Let’s begin, yes?”

He turned his attention back to Hongjoong. “Up.” 

Without hesitation, the puppy boy’s upper body rose, not letting his knees up from the ground as he moved closer to the chair and immediately stripped Seonghwa’s lower half, being careful not to move the socks he had on, seeing the intense stare on his every move.

Hongjoong wondered in the back of his head how long Seonghwa had been going, given how hard he was once the cold air hit him and the amount of precum glistening his tip and along the inside of his bottoms.

He really held himself back.

Satisfied, he leaned back onto his heels and waited for further instructions.

“See how I didn’t have to tell him anything? He already knew what to do.” Seonghwa bit his finger, spreading his legs wider and motioning with a nod of his head for Hongjoong to continue.

The brunette felt his heart pounding in his chest as he ran his pierced tongue over Seonghwa’s balls, the combination of being watched by him and all of the viewers in the livestream filling him with a mix of embarrassment and excitement, egging him on to do more to please the gorgeous man in front of him. 

Against what he was originally trained and told to do, Hongjoong slapped Seonghwa’s cock lewdly against his tongue, holding his mouth wide open for everyone to watch the member slide back and forth against his tongue. A sharp curl of his tongue to the underside of the taller man’s cock sent a shiver up his spine, letting out a shaky breath. 

“Is that how you want to play, puppy?” Seonghwa tried to keep his voice leveled, fisting one hand into Hongjoong’s hair, giving it a pull hard enough to make him let out a small gasp in surprise. His smirk widened as he adjusted himself, swinging one leg behind the back of Hongjoong’s head to hold him in place. 

Without saying a word, he moved Hongjoong’s head up and down, changing between fucking his face roughly and slowly filling every inch of his mouth, smiling deviously when the little puppy boy’s body began to tremble, drool pouring out of the corners of his mouth. 

The chat flooded with a slew of curses and praises towards Seonghwa and Hongjoong– mixed between some of them wanting to be in Hongjoong’s place while others professed wanting Seonghwa to be on their knees for them. 

A small laugh bubbled in his throat followed by a shaky moan, feeling his hips twitch as the brunette tried to play his game against him once more, timing the flicks of his tongue with Seonghwa’s pace.

If he could just get Seonghwa to fold a little bit, maybe he will get his reward a bit sooner and more sweetly than before. 

But, unfortunately for him, he could not have been more wrong. 

Suddenly, another hand threaded through his hair and held him to a complete stop. His eyes flickered up in an instant, nearly shrinking back at the joker-like smile that threaded across the camboy’s face, panting like a beast as he stared at him down. 

“I think we’re ready to go over our second rule.” Seonghwa leaned forward, uncaring about the yelp that left the boy and his breath ghosted over his face. Hongjoong peered at him through cracked open eyes, eyebrows furrowing from the pain.

“Never, ever, try to beat your owner at their own game. It just won’t end the way you think. You go the owner’s way, or no way at all.” He gritted out, releasing one section of his hair to slap his dick across Hongjoong’s face. The boy could only sit there in humiliation as he continued to be slapped across his cheeks, with Seonghwa degrading him. 

You think you run this game, huh? Do you think you’re the master? 

A pathetic slut like you? You could never get one over me. 

“You want it that badly?” He spat, gripping his chin and holding it up. 

Hongjoong wasn’t sure if answering would be the best option in this scenario, just as he wasn’t entirely clear on Seonghwa’s real feelings at the moment. 

“Speak.” He commanded, making Hongjoong whimper in response. 

“I-I” His voice quivered, crumbling like a cookie under Seonghwa’s intense gaze. His cheeks blazed when he felt himself twitch at the position he was in. 

“It’s okay. I get it. I understand.” Seonghwa spoke shortly, the chair creaking as he leaned back into it once more. With a kick of his foot, he closed the smallest gap between Hongjoong and the chair and tightened the grip of his calf and thigh around Hongjoong’s head.

Without warning, he pushed himself back into Hongjoong’s mouth and held him down, nearly squishing the brunette’s nose against his abdomen. 

“Take it then.”

Hongjoong’s throat struggled to remain lax as his eyes flew open, instinctively grabbing onto Seonghwa’s leg to support himself. His heart pounded in his ears as he tried to adjust his position underneath the man’s leg, only to find the elder tightening his hold on him. From one lookup and meeting his eyes, it was clear that he was not going to be able to get out of this easily. 

All the viewers could do was merely comment and spam donations in response to the scene in front of them. 

What Seonghwa forgot to mention to Hongjoong prior to their plan was that the donations would be read out loud. 

“Make him show us what’s in his mouth.” - $20

“I can practically see his tail wagging from here.” - $35

“God, I wish I could see it from closer up” - $20

His cheeks flushed bright red as he swallowed around his tip with each movement of his head, everything around him slowly becoming fuzzy in his head. He couldn’t think straight anymore– the only thing processing in his face was pleasing the man in front of him and this ring was still attached to him. 

It felt so deliciously good and painful. 

“G-God~” Seonghwa’s voice brought his mind somewhat back, realizing that at some point in his lust filled haze, that he had completely disregarded his appearance and demeanor– letting all of the drool pour from the corner of his lips alongside the filthy sounds of him slurping up every last bit of him into his mouth. 

He failed to notice the way Seonghwa’s body laxed more into the cushion of his chair and the thin coat of sweat that began to cover his body, and between his tensed, shaky thighs. 

That image alone drove Hongjoong closer to the edge. 

Keeping his eyes locked onto him, he rolled his shoulders back to get more comfortable in his position, dancing his fingertips against his outer thigh, letting him continue to maneuver his head faster and faster until he was practically singing for everyone. 

It all feels so good..

With one more shaky thrust upwards, Seonghwa sharply inhaled as Hongjoong’s mouth fell open for him without any command, watching himself shoot beads of cum all over the puppy’s soft, plump tongue. His eyebrows pinched up with a long shaky moan, eyes locked on the movement of his tongue across the slit, collecting every last bit.

“My good boy~” He practically cooed, yanking Hongjoong up by his collar into a messy kiss. 

His limbs wrapped lazily around Hongjoong’s body, mapping out every inch of his mouth with a firm hold onto his chin, moaning shamelessly. His free hand snakes down his body, forcing the brunette’s body to press closer to him, smirking against his lips at the sharp inhale that comes out when their cocks rub against each other. 

“Do you like it?” He breathes against his lips sweetly with a wide smile, only enough so that Hongjoong could hear. The boy only manages to nod before diving back in for more kisses, rutting against him desperately. 

Seonghwa breaks the kiss quickly with a chuckle, pushing Hongjoong’s face away whilst licking his lips. 

“I asked you a question.” Seonghwa speaks to him, cocking his head to the side.

And I wish you would take this damn ring off of me and just let me fuck you already– is what he would have said if he weren’t in this position right now. Every inch of his body felt like it was on fire, his ears had the slightest ring to them that was just enough to drown out the continued ping sounds coming from the computer. 

All he wanted was to be given what he wanted. 

Just a little bit longer. Just follow his orders.

Hongjoong heaved out heavy breaths, eyes blown out as he brought his head back in front of the cocky camboy. 

“I like whatever you are willing to give to me.” He looked between his lips and his eyes, noticing the way Seonghwa’s pupils dilated at his words. 

The grip of his hands against his hips sent an unexpected moan out of Seonghwa’s mouth, unsure how to feel about the fact that his puppy, who was needily sucking him off a minute ago, was able to make him bend so easily, looking damn near ready to devour him at the slightest motion to do so. 

If he was being completely honest, he would have let him do it sooner if he wasn’t so hell bent on torturing the two of them and, in turn, everyone else. 

“So are you willing to give yourself to me? Let me make you feel good like you deserve?” He questioned. 

Everything he said seemed to be correct, if the way Seonghwa’s legs slid further open were anything to go by. But, before he could celebrate the success of his seduction, Seonghwa brushed his fingers against his neck, pulling him closer until his teeth grazed against his ear. 

“I want you hungry for me. And I don’t think you’re there yet.” 

And there was that disgustingly sweet tone again. 

Hongjoong bowed his head onto Seonghwa’s shoulder, nipping at the area and feeling the camboy’s hands roam wherever they could reach from this angle. 

“So, let’s play a little bit more.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Mm, you all have been so patient for me, I can see all of your– god your tongue feels so good– begging from here.” 

Seonghwa tried to continue speaking to his audience through fluttering lashes and a very clear flushed upper body. The rest of him, which had become slightly obscured due to the angle he was at, had found itself over the arm of the futon, securely and comfortably situated on top of a plush pillow. 

At the end of the futon, sitting comfortably on a small stool, Hongjoong buried his head between the camboy’s cheeks, staring at the curve of his lower back where he could imagine what his facial expressions must be with every sharp curve of his tongue and the subtle way it slipped out to lap at his balls before diving right back in. 

The shyness had long subsided by the time they made it over here, stripping more of Seonghwa’s clothing off as they bit and kissed at each other’s skin, that the sounds fell naturally from Hongjoong’s mouth– ranging between guttural groans and deep hums, matching the stifled moans that were threatening to fall from Seonghwa’s mouth. 

His fingers shook as he scrolled through the comments, eyes slowly becoming unfocused from the methodical tongue fucking. 

jbear_00: tell us how he feels for you. Is your precious puppy eating you well?

He barely finished reading the rest of the comment before his head dropped down, a quivering whimper forcing its way out from between his bite-swollen lips, eyes nearly rolling at the drag of his pierced tongue against his prostate.

“Don’t bow your head away from it now— All of our attention and to have every last one of us wanting you. Wanting to be inside of you and hear all of those slutty little moans come out for us. Aren’t we doing good for you, master?” Hongjoong baited him, all of his sadistic behavior he had been holding back flowing out of him at once— having him practically laughing at him.

Seonghwa gritted his teeth as his thighs shook for the third time tonight, Hongjoong chuckling as he lapped over his hole messily, slurping noisily over it just to see the man’s body bow lower in feigned resistance.

“So join us~” He heaved out with a hum, lewdly spreading his cheeks apart as he ran three fingers over the spasming pucker, sure as anything that he could take them without even asking.

“In our desperate craving for release~”

“I-I don’t need you prep me- AH!” His eyes widened in an instant, unable to control the sounds that came out of his mouth, melded together in shock and pleasure from the delicious stretch of Hongjoong’s fingers. He looked back over his shoulder in slight disbelief, only to let out a small whimper from the eyes that met his. 

Hongjoong leaned himself as much as he could over Seonghwa’s back, eyes laser focused on with a deviant smile, kissing along his spine as he plunged his fingers at an inconsistent pace. The pads of his fingers ran along every edge inside of him, making a game out of deliberately skipping over his prostate to massage the area directly next to it. 

Was it a bit mean? Yes. But Seonghwa deserved it. 

“Have your way with him, Joong.” ~ $50

His eyes flickered upward, looking directly at the donation amount. His lips pulled up even further, adjusting himself to hold Seonghwa’s lower body downward, suddenly increasing the speed of his fingers to abuse the bundle inside of him, immediately erupting a slew of curses from the camboy. 

“Hm, why don’t you all tell me exactly what you want?” He beckoned, looking down at Seonghwa’s now shaking form, slyly rutting himself back against Hongjoong’s fingers. 

From the shine of the computer screen, it was clear now that Seonghwa had fallen right into the place that he was in– as much as he desperately tried to fight it. 

But they both knew exactly how Seonghwa was, the side of himself that he didn’t dare to show to the audience. The side of him that Hongjoong had seen more than enough to know that he wasn’t going to be able to last or hold on much longer once he pushed him a bit more. 

Perfect. 

A simple sharp tug of his pink locks had Seonghwa’s face, flushed with dribbles of drool running down, exposed completely to the audience. 

“You’re being rude, Hwa. You should look at the people who have been waiting so long to see you like this.” He taunted, bringing his lips closer to his mouth as his fingers curled upward. 

“You look so beautiful like this.” 

“Please.” Seonghwa’s eyes rolled shut, pushing himself back quickly against his fingers as he looked back at him again, a blissed out smile crossing his face as he nodded at him. 

The two of them barely waited for the audience to process what was going on before the ring was ceremoniously pulled off of Hongjoong with a deep chested groan. Seonghwa adjusted his position, letting his head rest to the side– still within the view of the audience as he winked at them. 

“Ruin him, Hongjoong.” ~ $50

“God, this is gonna be so messy.” ~$70

“Make him forget his own name.” ~ $100

“With pleasure.” Hongjoong heaved out, gritting his teeth at the way Seonghwa’s hips swayed side to side to entice him. 

It took him tightening every muscle in his body to keep himself from immediately cumming at the walm tightness that surrounded him, mixed with the whorish moans that left Seonghwa’s mouth. 

He felt himself pulsing inside of the man, letting out a shaky breath when the boy clenched around him. 

The angle alone from the camera was driving him insane as he started to rock at a steady pace, noticing the way that Seonghwa’s fingers curled around the fabric of the futon, trying to ground himself in any way possible as he wasted no time pushing himself back to meet Hongjoong halfway. 

“F-Fuck, you’re so t-thick!” Seonghwa’s voice barely came out, his bottom lip quivering at the affirmed hold to his hips. The stretch and burn of every thrust had him nearly gasping, completely forgetting about those on the other side of the computer, watching him pathetically whine. 

He looked so beautiful like this, exactly how everyone would want him to look. 

His mouth dropped open with cracked eyes, only seeing through his blurry vision the way Hongjoong was moving him back and forth against his cock– only noticing half way through that his hands had moved away, growling as he watched Seonghwa. 

The wanton look on his face melted away effortlessly, smiling wide. 

“Look at how much he likes it~” He breathed out, sliding his fingers into his mouth and ignoring the mess he was making on his pillow sheets as he slid himself all the way down on his cock before pulling back, humming as the tip got caught on his rim. 

He kept his motions fluid, alternating swiftly between bouncing himself quickly and slowing himself down, feeling his movements suddenly come to a stop when Hongjoong’s hand came down on his cheek. 

“AH!” 

He felt a sharp bite to the middle of his back, body arching as another hit came to his cheek.

“Stop being a fucking brat or I’ll make you choke on it.” 

“Mm~, that sounds nice- S-Shit!!” 

Two forceful hands curled around his shoulders and roughly yanked him back against him, completely ignoring the escalation of Seonghwa’s screaming moans as he chased the powerful release that was rapidly approaching with every thrust. One hand snaked around to the camboy’s throat, squeezing it tightly in his hold. 

“H-Hong..!”

“Shut the fuck up and you better not let anything spill out.” He growled into his ear as a wide smirk crossed his face. He bit down on Seonghwa’s shoulder as he fucked his cum up into him, sluring obscenities into his skin.

You like that? You like your slutty hole being filled up? 

You were waiting for this weren’t you? You were just waiting for someone to make a mess of you.

Tell them you like it. 

“I do!! I like it~” Seonghwa brokenly cried out, tone falling into a high pitch whine as he shot ribbon upon ribbon onto his pillow, some even landing onto the futon sheet. He fell forward once Hongjoong let him go, his blurry blue eyes rolled up to the camera with a dazed smile. 

The top donation was lined at the top, with pink and purple bows and sparkles lined around the border of the banner. 

“You’re the sexiest of all time” - msoong_998: $350

Hongjoong spread Seonghwa’s cheeks apart, cursing under his breath as he slowly pulled out, immediately grabbing the camera to film his backside. 

The camboy helped himself with keeping his cheeks spread as he let everything spill down his balls in a blob onto the pillow and the arm of the futon. The brunette helped himself to sliding his fingers inside to scoop some of it out, chuckling at the sensitive whine he received in response before moving the camera back in front of Seonghwa, noticing his mouth was already open for him. 

He swirled his tongue around the digits meticulously with heated eyes on the camera and, in turn on his puppy, before he kissed his fingertips.

“Thank you for watching~ ♡”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“..ello?”

“Hello! Earth to Seonghwa!”

In an instant, he was back at his university campus, sitting around the picnic table with his friends, almost completely forgetting that they were asking him something before his brain bullied him for however long he was zoning out for. 

And he hoped to god Julie wouldn’t see how hard he was from here. 

“S-Sorry.” He lightly excused, clearing his throat while lowering the screen of his computer. “What was the question again?”

“We were asking you what you thought about the cam guy? Who do you think he is?” Julie pestered, pointing his arm with impatience. 

Seonghwa looked back over the photo, cocking his head to the side as he looked back up at his friends with a small chuckle. 

“I don’t know. But whoever it is, it’s none of our business. It’s their life, they can do whatever they want.” 

The three of them nodded, with Giselle’s eyes lingering on Seonghwa a bit longer before eventually dropping it, perking at her friend that was making his way across campus. She called out to him, waving when he stopped to look in her direction. 

Seonghwa looked over his shoulder with him and Hongjoong immediately making eye contact. Although it was short lived, he couldn’t help the smirk that crossed his face as the brunette’s face got red, instantly bolting his way towards the school parking lot. 

“What was that about?” Giselle’s partner questioned with a confused look. 

“Not sure.” Seonghwa responded as he watched the small man hop into his car. “But he’s very cute.”

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *

𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕: @atiny-piratequeen @jacksons-goddess-gaia @kimnamshiks @little-lazuli @atiny-dazzlinglight @catnipacid

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *

[glubglubgurgle]

bruised apples

caleb's willing to wait forever for you, but why would you like someone else?

pairings: Caleb/unnamed afab MC

tags: fluff and angst, angst and romance, yearning!!!!, old days, non canon compliant, slow burn, awkward love, eventual romance, eventual smut, dry humping..., caleb third person pov

word count (C1-9): 21.4k

a/n!: cross posted on ao3! this is my first time posting a fic on tumblr...idk how to format everything prettily like everyone else TT this is also my first time writing a fic in forever and first time writing anything smutty in general. there is def some grammar issues...sorry!!! but i hope u enjoy anyways :3

ONGOING!! Chapters 1-9 below!

CHAPTER 10 HERE!

Chapter 1

“I think I like someone.”

Caleb was as resilient as can be. It took more than a few hits to the face to take him down, if anyone even managed to get that close to him. He endured far more physical and emotional pain than anyone his age should have experienced.

But his world came crashing down once the girl he dreamed of every night said that one sentence.

He was on his break from the DAA, and she sprung the five words during dinner, ever so casually. She poked at her food with her fork, biting her lip and avoiding eye contact. He knew she always felt uncomfortable talking about boys with him. Admittedly, he gets really defensive about her and the guys around her. All these years of protecting her, he could never be sure about anyone’s intentions.

“Please say something, you scare me when you’re quiet.” Her hand rested on his. “He’s really nice, and I don’t even think he likes me like that. I just wanted to tell you because I feel really strongly about this crush for once, and you’re important to me. I don’t wanna hide anything from you.” Her fingers gripped on his tighter as she rambled.

Caleb finally recovered from his thoughts, noticing the scowl building on his face and attempted to reverse it. He let go of his fork and put his hand atop of hers. “Pips, I’m glad you like someone. I just worry about you, but thanks for telling me.” He raised her hand with his and stared at her fingers. Nails painted like red and green apples. Thoughts of her in her room painting her nails while she missed him flood his brain. “He’d be an idiot to not like you back…” he mutters. The frown on his face twitches back into a soft smile. He let go of her hand and pinched her cheek, eliciting a shriek from her.

“Hey!” She pulled her hand back from near you and rubbed her face. She resumed eating, a small smile played on her lips, as if she felt accomplished.

“So…” Caleb drew out the o’s. “Who is he? Does he have good grades? Is he nice?” Feigning a positive interest. Truthfully, it killed him.

She, on the other hand, seemed very interested to talk about her mystery man. She took her last bite from her bowl before bringing her legs up to hug her knees. She rested her cheek on her right knee to look at him while talking, giddy. So entranced by the thoughts of her crush, she didn’t notice the way Calebs fists were clenched under the table or the way his lips would betray him and frown every now and then.

“He sits next to me in class, right now. We switched our seats around because everyone was sitting with their friend the first week.” Her cheeks turned pink thinking of him. “I never really interacted with him before…I think we were on opposite sides of the class every year before, but also there was never really any reason to.” She shrugged, eyes wandering while thinking of the past. She shook her head to get back on track and looked back at Caleb with a sort of gleam in her eye. “He’s really smart, I think he was top of the class last year. We didn’t really talk much at first, but he saw me struggling with a math question and helped me out. Ever since, we’ve been talking more and more.” She giggled.

Her smile would always put one on Caleb’s face. This one stung. A smile meant for someone else. Did he even deserve it? Does he even know how lucky he is?

“Don’t worry, I’ve done a background check on him…kind of. I know you always tell me to be careful and from what I’ve seen and heard, he’s good!” She stood up and saluted at me, “Won’t let you down, Captain Caleb!” She released her position and laughed. She picked up her dishes to take to the sink.

Surprisingly, Caleb heard the water running and dishes clanking. Normally she left her dishes for him to do.

He got up and walked toward her. Her back faced him and he had to hold back from doing anything rash. Multiple scenarios played in his mind. What if he just admitted his feelings now? What if he begged her not to like this guy? What if he made him disappear?

Instead he wrapped his arms around her, and rested his forehead on her shoulder. “I was only gone for a few weeks and you already found someone to take up your brain…” He let out a sigh against her sweater before breathing her in. She even smelled like candied apples.

She giggled, again. She turned the water off before turning around to look at him. She grabbed his face with both her hands and shook him around. Just like she always did when they were kids. “There’s the jealous and protective Caleb.”

His eyes widened at her reaction. Lax and carefree.

“You were being so supportive, I was starting to wonder if they cloned you over at the DAA and sent back a faulty one.” She snorted a little before letting his face go to turn back to the dishes. “And it’s been empty around here…but I’m not replacing you. You’re very important to me. I just really like him, but who knows if it’ll go anywhere. I think crushes are fun. And it’s my last year!” After setting her bowl on the drying rack, she turned back around and poked his cheek.

Caleb cleared his throat, and regained his posture. Crossing his arms, he looked at her with mock judgement, “Yeah, Pips. It’s your last year, shouldn’t you be studying? You better not throw away your Hunter dream for a guy.”

She rolled her eyes before pushing past him. “You didn’t even finish your food. Eat before you start to lecture me, I’m not doing your dishes.” She snarked back before dropping onto the couch.

Caleb stood in the kitchen, touching his face where she left electric currents. He knew he was screwed. How is he going to pretend to be okay with this? He knew he had to. He didn’t want to scare her off, and he just wanted her to be happy. Would this guy make her happy? As much as he made her happy? Would that guy cherish her the way he cherished her?

“When you’re done, come watch a movie with me.” She said from the couch, shaking him from his own thoughts. “I missed so many new movies because I waited to watch it with you.” She grumbled.

She was quick to say things that meant the world to Caleb, but it probably just came off casually to her. He tried to shake off the confession of her crush on someone else and cleaned up his own dishes. He was itching to spend time with you, and he didn’t want this bump in the road to get in the way. On one hand, this crush wouldn’t turn into anything serious. Like she said, they just started talking more.

But the idea of someone not liking her just doesn’t seem possible in Caleb’s brain. She was perfect according to him. Perfect for him, even. He couldn’t find the possibility of whoever that guy was to not like her back. Would he be strong enough emotionally to let her be happy with him? To stand by and watch someone else take her away?

Caleb sat at the end of the couch while she laid her head on his lap. They always watched movies like this. She always ended up falling asleep if she didn’t like the movie. And he always watched her, admiring her, before falling asleep himself. Their grandma would always come home to find them slumped against each other on the couch with the TV running.

The first movie was not to her liking at all. She fell asleep in the first ten minutes. Caleb wanted to keep asking about the mysterious guy, but he heard her soft snores and felt a damp patch on his thigh as she started to drool. He bit his lip as he stroked the top of her head.

“How could you like someone else, Pipsqueak…?” He mumbled, soft enough to not disturb her. It was destroying him. He was wondering if he could drop out and wait for her to graduate before going back to the DAA. But if he did that, how would he take control of the sky for her like he promised? He wanted to give her everything, but he also wanted to be her everything. Caleb loved her. He wished he could be selfish and take her as his own. He knew he could make her happy, he knew because he would do anything to make her happy. Would the other guy do the same?He knew he was thinking crazy. He was planning out the future at great lengths just because she had a simple crush. He couldn't help it. Caleb was terrified. His biggest fear was losing her.

Chapter 2

The two walked down the familiar path of the park near their home in silence. Although the awkward situation died down, Caleb was unable to keep away from his own thoughts. Despite the chilly autumn air prickling both of their skins, his blood ran hot with the thoughts of another guy taking up your time. He had to stop himself every now and then to remind him that they weren’t even close like that.

It was a dumb crush. He hoped endlessly.

“Caleb?” Her voice tore through his thoughts and ripping him from his worries. “It’s the fall festival and you walked past every apple stand without a glance.” She poked at his cheek and tried lifting the corner of his mouth into a smirk. “You promised me a pie. Why are you so stressed?” She got on her tippy toes and her hand moved up to his furrowed brows, trying to massage it out. “You haven’t told me anything about how the aviation academy is treating you…” She muttered, looking at him with a sort of puppy-dog eyes. 

He grabbed her hand and held it for a second before letting it drop back to her side. “You’re getting nosy, Pip. I wonder who you learned that from,” a natural smirk formed on his face. 

She rolled her eyes and hooked his arm with hers before continuing to walk. “Is the aviation academy cool? I want to visit next time.”

Caleb looked down at her as they walked and a pit in his stomach grew. She looked so beautiful to him, this was his world. He felt like he was going insane trying to fight the thoughts in the back of his head of someone else taking her away from him. After all he fought for. Everything about her felt like home and she was his primary motivation. How could she like someone else? He looked at her hairpin, the one he got for her from a small shop at Skyhaven, and reached out to touch it. “It’s fun learning, I miss being back home with you and Gran, though.” He softly said, meaning it wholeheartedly. “I’m glad you use this, I was worried you wouldn’t like it.” He said with a small smile.

“Of course I like it, silly.” She looked up at him from the side with a wide smile. She stopped them from walking and let go of Caleb. She reached into her bag to grab her coin pouch that was also gifted by him and put it to her face to smile even wider. “I love everything you give me! It makes me feel like a bit of you is still with me even when you’re away.” 

His heart warmed. The necklace she gifted him suddenly felt warm on his chest, as if to remind him that he does and feels the same thing. “That’s good. I am always here for you.” He smirks, patting the top of her head.

She got on her tippy toes and her face got close to his, arms almost wrapping around his neck.

He stilled and everything else stopped. He looked onto her smiling face and his eyes fell to her rosy lips. So close, yet so far.

Her hands tinkered around his neck looking for the familiar chain to pull out from under his shirt. She gruffed before settling back down on her feet. “Why do you hide it, embarrassed?” She fixed the necklace atop his chest where it was visible. Once she was satisfied, she walked towards an apple stall that was run by their neighbour.

Caleb took a moment to recover. He could have kissed her right then and there. Maybe she would have reciprocated and he wouldn’t have to worry anymore. He knew it was wrong. Caleb needed her and he wanted to be someone she needed too. He rubbed the back of his neck where he could still feel her fingers and then caught up with her. 

“Caleb, how many apples do we need for a pie?” She called out to him, waving her coin pouch again. 

-

They grabbed hot ciders from a stall and found a bench to sit on under the streetlights, overlooking the festival crowd. “I told you about my crush…did you meet anyone you like?” She asked. Caleb could’ve sworn the question was laced with fear or hestiance, but he brushed it off as hopeful thinking. 

He took a sip of his cider before shaking his head. “I don’t have time for that, you know me.” He set his cup down beside him. “It’s just like high school again, though…I’m just so charming.” Caleb smirked, looking at her.

She rolled her eyes before lightly pushing him, “Heartbreaker…none of them interest you? There’s no way not one of them caught your eye” She sips on her own cider looking away.

There was a pang in his chest, if it wasn’t her being worried about him, it felt like she was trying to marry him off. And it hurt him that she didn’t know that all he could think about was her. He was too busy with school, and even busier with her happiness and safety occupying his brain. “Nope.” He popped the ‘p’ and rubbed his palms on pants. “I’m too busy trying to become your personal pilot, Pip. Why would I be interested in anyone else when you’re already a handful,” he tried to joke. “Do you want me to get a girlfriend that bad?” He leaned towards her ear and muttered.

She slowly turned her body to face him and looked at him in the eyes. “Would it be bad if I said no?” She bit her lip, a nervous habit that she gained ever since Caleb said he was going to the DAA the previous year.

It was like Caleb’s lungs had the air sucked out by a vaccuum as he tried to wrap his head around what she said. From pure instinct, he reached out with his thumb to release her lip from teeth. “That’s not fair, Pipsqueak. If I said that about your crush, you’d get mad at me.” His voice was barely above a whisper. 

She quickly covered her face with both of her hands before standing up, “I was just kidding. I’m gonna go find a snack.” She ran off before Caleb could process anything else.

It was always like this. She would say something that would make him feel like there was a chance that the two shared the same dreams. The dream that there would be a happy ending, together. More than just the closest friends since childhood. Caleb just thought she was also as big of a coward as him. But eventually it would work out. He hoped. 

Was what she said really just a joke? If there was any true meaning behind it, even just a sliver, Caleb was willing to hold on tight to it. He grabbed the bag of apples and the two ciders before walking off to find her again.

After weaving through the crowd of families, he spotted her yellow cardigan. Next to a guy in a white muscle shirt and ripped jeans. Caleb’s fists tightened around the cups he was holding, but he managed to control it to avoid piercing the styrofoam. As he got closer, he could see her laugh at something the guy had said. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ears that were tinged with pink. 

He didn’t seem to be a threat. In fact, he seemed nice. In Caleb’s eyes, though, he was an enemy. He knew it was him. Her deskmate, the one she said she liked. 

“Pipsqueak, did you find anything else?” Caleb acted casual, stepping beside her while holding out her drink for her to take.

She seemed stunned to see him, as if he wasn’t just with her less than five minutes ago. She stammered a bit before grabbing the drink and shaking her head. “O-oh, I ran into my classmate so I got distracted.” 

Caleb’s eyes pierced through hers and he could feel how nervous she was. Was it from what she said or was it from the guy in front of her?

“This is my childhood friend, Caleb. He’s visiting from the DAA!” She regained her composure as if the chance to brag about knowing someone at the aviation academy fueled her confidence. “And this is my deskmate, Eric.” 

Eric.

Caleb wished so deeply that the man he was so worried about would remain nameless.

Eric reached his hand out to Caleb, “It’s nice to meet you, she talks about you all the time.”

Caleb smiled, surprisingly with some sincerity because of what Eric said. He grabbed his hand and was met with a firm handshake. “You too, I hope she doesn’t bother your studies with dumb stories about me.”

Eric shook his head, chuckling. “No bother here. I’m actually interested in what she has to say about you. I’m also planning on attending the DAA. I hope I can rely on you in the future.” His dark purple eyes looked at Caleb, hopefully.

Someone called Eric’s name from afar and everyone turned to find another girl waving at him. 

“Oh, that’s my sister. I have to get going. Have fun! I’ll see you at school next week.” Eric waves at the two before running off.

The two of them watched her crush disappear into the crowd. It was awkward and silent for only a few moments, but it felt like years to the two of them.

Caleb was the first to break the silence. “That’s him, huh?” He couldn’t help the disappointment in his voice, but he hoped she was too flustered to notice. He looked to find her looking down at her shoes.

“It’s not like I’m in love with him,” she muttered. “Doesn’t he seem nice, though?” She finally looked at Caleb, seeking some sort of approval.

He reluctantly nods. There were multiple alarms ringing in his head, but he couldn’t deny that Eric seemed like a decent person. He will never be too sure and he would never deserve her, though. “I just want you to be happy, Pips. I’ll be here for you whether or not anything happens between you two. Just be careful and don’t let your grades slip.” He pats her head, with a slight hesitation at first. 

“...You know, he kind of reminds me of you.” She beamed. “Maybe that’s why I got comfortable quickly. He helps me with my studies and he also wants to be a fighter pilot. How silly.” She starts to walk through the crowd again, shrugging.

Caleb wondered why she’d need someone like him when he was there all along.

Chapter 3

Caleb wasn’t able to sleep the night of the festival. 

He tossed and turned thinking of everything that happened. And it was just one day. He was excited for this weekend, just so he could see her again. Instead of being met with open arms, he received the crushing news of there being someone else she liked. And he was apparently someone like him.

The idea that she looked for Caleb in this new person clawed at him. Why would she have to look for someone else like him instead of giving herself to him. There was no denying it anymore. He knew that deep down, she felt the same way about him. It just killed him that she drew an invisible line that she forbade herself to cross. If it wasn’t Eric, would she look for someone else? How many people would she look for Caleb in before giving up and admitting to her own feelings? 

Caleb got up and sat on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands. He knew he was the only one who could really protect her from what’s out there. Eric would never know what to do for when the inevitable happens. He didn’t see or experience what happened to them as kids. She doesn’t remember it, but it haunts him every day. 

As much as a good person Eric could be, he could never provide what Caleb has and will. He knew that. 

He looked at his wall. Multiple frames of the two of them. The smile she wore calmed his heart. The memories of him being able to hold her kept him sane. The very essence of her made him feel alive.

And at the end of the day, he couldn’t lose her. He was willing to bear the pain of seeing her try to do what she thinks she wants. He knew that if he tried to stop her, he could lose what they had at that moment. He didn’t want to be the reason she’s uncomfortable, upset, or crying. He wanted to be strong for her. And for her, no matter how long, he would wait.

He hoped to whatever deity there is, that he would be strong enough.

Still unable to sleep, Caleb walked down the hallway into the kitchen. Passing by her room, where the door was slightly ajar, he halted. She was sleeping soundly on her bed. The moonlight from the window shining lightly on her features. 

Caleb understood his weakness. And it was her.

Walking inside, he softly sat on the edge of her bed and put his hand atop of hers for a moment before holding it. Unexpectedly, the motion blinked her awake.

“Caleb…?” She mumbled, her hand slipping out of his to rub her eyes.

“Shh, Pips. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He whispered, flustered at his carelessness. “You can go back to sleep.

“Did you have a nightmare?” She softly asked, squinting at him, attempting to blink the sleepiness away. The corner of her mouth lifted slightly. “You’re just like me…come here. I’ll do what you did when we were kids.” She scooted to the side of her bed and opened her arms to him while patting the now-empty side.

Caleb chuckled. Inside, he felt extremely hot and flustered. But this was truly home and he wasn’t able to resist. 

She used to be the one waking him up on a stormy night, and Caleb always welcomed his bed to her. Falling asleep in each other’s arms was no stranger. He was always happy to be able to provide this comfort for her.

He slipped into her arms and she giggled. “It’s been a while…it hasn’t rained in Linkon for a while. But now you’re the one crawling to me.” She turned to her side and let her arm drape over his chest while he moved his own arm for her to use as a pillow. 

“Yeah,” was all Caleb could mutter.

She went back to sleep in an instant. She began lightly snoring and her breath was warm against his bicep.

It was pure bliss and he wished he could take a snapshot of this moment and live in it forever. He would’ve admired the sight the whole night if it wasn’t for the extreme feeling of comfort weighing his eyelids down. And he fell asleep with her around him.

-

“I can’t believe you’re already leaving tonight. You just got here…” A frown was evident through her voice as she rested her forehead on the wall of the hallway.

The two had just woken up early in the morning. It should be just like any other day of them sleeping in the same bed, since they’ve done it for years. But Caleb felt like it was different since his feelings were pushed to the outermost part of his heart out of defense. For her, on the other hand, he assumed she built more bricks on the invisible line to keep her from crossing it and this really was just another day. Awful luck for him.

He reached over to her with both hands on shoulders to turn towards him. “I’ll call you every day, like I always do.” He unstuck the hair on her forehead and wiped a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb. “Should I just drop out?” He smirked at her.

She jutted her bottom lip out to pout harder, somehow possible. She shook her head before leaning in and wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his chest. Muffled yet audible, “No…I’m just not used to being gone. I don’t know if I ever will be.” Caleb felt wet spots through his thin shirt, where her eyes were. “Gran’s usually out or sleeping early. I don’t wake up to you cooking and no one’s waiting for me outside the school gates.” 

She cried for the same worries when he first left for Skyhaven. Now her worries came true, and Caleb thought that it must’ve been harder for her because of that. He thought that maybe that’s why she was so desperate to find someone else. It was hard to blame her, he never could. But at the same time, he just wanted to be selfish for once.

He grabbed her hands from behind him and unwrapped her from him, so he could talk to her face to face. She looked up at him with already-swollen eyes and the same pout, making his heart ache even more. He held her face with both his hands, gently like he was holding the world. And in his head, he was. “You know I’m always here for you. I’m just one call away. I’ll drop everything for you and I’ll always do my best to visit on weekends. It should be a little easier since I’ve settled in.” He wiped another tear from her face. “Don’t mope too much and spend time with your friends, though. You should enjoy your last year before the Hunter’s Academy.” He gave her a soft smile. “Now go take a shower, you’re all sweaty and crying.” He tried to lighten the mood, pushing her towards the bathroom. “I’ll set up the kitchen to make our pie.”

With that, she finally smiled. She stopped at the doorframe of the bathroom before turning back around to hug him again and muttering a small thanks. And then she was back in the bathroom and he heard the water running. 

A bit taken aback, Caleb was just relieved that she was worried as much as he was. And missed him as much as he missed her. It really solidified the bond they had and it helped reinforce that no one could really break it. Although the worry was still there, he knew he could bear it longer and wait for her.

The kitchen counters were soon covered in flour and mixing bowls and the two of them baked to their heart's content. Another snapshot Caleb wished he could live in forever. Carefree quality time with the love of his life. The flour on both of their faces was caused by each other’s foolery. The smell of the autumn air, warm apples, and baking crust filled their  home. 

“I wish we could just stay like this.” She laughed, sitting on the counter as Caleb checked on their pie in the oven. “I love fall. It feels so worry-free when we do things like this.” Her feet swung as she took in the scent of the scenery. 

“Me too, Pips.” He smiled, closing the oven. Another set of reassurance calmed his worrywart heart. “Once we both graduate and when I’m back in Linkon, we can do this every day.” He turned to her and dabbed more flour on the tip of her nose.

She snorted the flour out before bursting in laughter. 

“That is, of course, if you’re not too busy saving the world as the best Hunter in it.” He smirked at her, gathering all their dishes.

She got back down from the counter to help him clean. “It also depends on you being too busy up in the air saving birds and stuff.” She teased.

“Hm, saving birds will always be fun in the future,” he played along. “But I’ll never be too busy to spend time with you.” He patted her head with his flour covered hand, earning a playful glare from her. 

She then retaliated by ruffling his hair with her own floury hands. “Same here.” She then said, with a genuine smile.

-

Leaving that night was hard for Caleb.

She insisted on going with him to the train station.

“You’ve survived three whole weeks without me, Pip. You’ll be okay.” Caleb pinched her damp cheeks. “You’re crying more than you did when I first left.” He tried to tease her with a smile, but it hurt him to see her so sad.

Her eyes got redder as she rubbed them with the back of her hoodie sleeve. His hoodie actually, but she seemed to have stolen it from his closet while he was gone. It was enormous on her, but she looked comfortable. “I don’t know…I kind of got used to our routine of calling at night and stuff. But since you came back, I just remembered how much I missed how it was when you were here.”

“I’ll really try to come back next weekend. Only if you promise to do all your work and get good grades. You know the Hunter’s Association doesn’t just accept anyone.” He tried to be a good motivator, but if he was being honest, he was willing to turn in his leave of absence letter to his own academy and plan his gap year for her. “Give me a pinky promise.” He held his pinky out like they always did.

She swam her hand out of the long sleeves of her sweater and interlocked it with his, before locking the promise with their thumbs. “I’ll be studious and strong until you come back again.” She mocked bravery and nodded. 

“Atta girl,” Caleb said. “Go back now. Let me watch you leave.” He turned her around and kept her facing the exit. “If you turn back, it’ll make it harder, so don’t.” He pushed her slightly, but surprisingly she didn’t budge.

Instead she turned back around and wrapped her arms around his neck before reaching up to leave a peck on his cheek. All before she turned and ran away.

The spot on his cheek was on fire and so was his chest. His resolve began to crumble on the spot. The strength he once believed he had was slipping away through the cracks of his fingers like sand. 

Chapter 4

He was unable to return that weekend.

Nor the weekend after.

Although he was doing good in all of his classes, teamwork was prioritized in the academy. And that meant weekends dedicated to team assignments and training. As much fun that he had with his classmates and new friends, it couldn’t outweigh the pain of leaving her 

It was unbearable for Caleb. The broken promises lingered in the air whenever they called at night. The look on her face whenever she saw him through the screen, as if she was going to crack at any moment. The first weekend was hard because when he told her that Friday that he couldn’t go home, she hung up immediately and wouldn’t pick up his calls until Sunday. She sent him one-word responses to his texts and kept saying she was busy when he tried to call.

It took a bit for her to be less upset. It was a bittersweet thing to think about in Caleb’s mind. He was, in a way, happy. That his presence meant so much to her. But he did not like how upset he made her feel. 

It was inevitable, though. He knew she expected this and so did he. Aviation academy, although it was his dream, he knew it would take him away from her like this. And even if it wasn’t the academy he was going to, it would be the one she would go to the following year. His main dream of being by her side would be thrown off by his and her dream job. 

As the days went by, she became less upset and even back to normal at one point. She always asked about his day and then she’d go on for a long time about hers. He looked forward to it every night, he hoped that she felt the same way.

The workload of the academy became even more vigorous as the weeks went by. The more they transitioned from paperwork and hypotheticals into field work and practicals, the more time was taken away from him. 

“You look awfully chipper today, Pipsqueak. Anything happened today?” Caleb looked at her through his laptop screen, smiling at her phone. They always did their homework together on video call to make it easy for her to ask him for help. Caleb didn’t know why he didn’t suggest it earlier, but it was better than her asking Eric for help in AND out of class. Although her staring at her phone was unusual. She was normally very attentive to her work, but that night, she was overly invested on her phone rather than her studies. Caleb knew the answer, but he hoped she would prove his hypothesis wrong.

“You remember Eric? We’ve been hanging out more! We even exchanged contacts, he’s pretty funny.” She must have noticed a face on Caleb from the way she cleared her throat before setting her phone down. “But I should get back to work.” She nodded.

He couldn’t control his face, but he tried to avoid scowling at least. “I’m glad you’re happy, Pips. I hope it goes well for you.” He said through gritted teeth, hoping he sounded genuine. “But if I hear that your grades are slipping, I’m making you move schools.” He looked back down at his work. He was actually already done with it, but he just wanted to seem busy so she wouldn’t hang up.

“Can I ask you something?” She said, making his eyes dart back to his screen. He saw her fidgeting with her pen. 

“Of course, Pips.” He was scared. This was one of the lines that was on the anxiety-inducing list, along with ‘we need to talk’ and ‘I will never love you more than just a friend’ but it wasn’t number one. His mind raced through the multiple things she could ask about: his love life, quantum mechanics, why he was so obsessed with her, why he loved her, why he won’t let go of her, kitchen recipes. The list went on in his head.

“How do you know if you REALLY like someone?” She mumbles so quietly, the mic almost didn’t pick it up. “And like how do you know if someone likes you?”

Caleb dropped his pencil and tried to find an answer to give her that didn’t give him away. “Uhh, I’d assume that if you looked forward to seeing them everyday. If you wanted to prioritize their happiness over yours and you’d do anything for them.” He rubbed his chin trying to think of more answers, “Maybe if you smiled every time you thought of them.” 

“It sounds like you have experience…” She muttered, wide-eyed towards him. 

He stammered, “W-well, I’m just assuming. I did say I was assuming, right? I read books. Haven’t you read books? I’ve seen your bookshelf. Shouldn’t you know better than me?” He hoped he sounded convincing. He heard a snicker behind him to find his roommate Gideon laughing. Caleb glared at him and Gideon went back to pretending to be asleep. Thankfully, when he looked back at the screen, she was looking down at whatever and didn’t notice.

“Well, yeah. I think I know. I just wanted to hear from a guy.” She mumbled. It was silent for a moment before she groaned and ruffled her own hair out of frustration. “I don’t even know if he likes me!” She hid her face in her hands.

“Can you see the rest of your life with him?” Caleb blurted out. He couldn’t help it. He knew he would be better for her because he knows he’ll be there for her until the end. He would do anything to make sure of it. He knows she can see him in the future too. 

“Oh my god, Caleb. We just started being friends like two months ago!” She groaned even louder and dropped her down to the desk. All he saw then was the top of her head.

Caleb softly chuckled to himself. He knew his answer after a few moments of knowing her. He knew he wanted to protect her again and again until the end of time. Love at first sight, he thought. “I’m just asking, Pips. You sound so serious about him.” Caleb found it in him to tease her. “Are you gonna do anything about it?” He was confident earlier. After the last question, he got scared again. What if she wasn’t the ‘love at first type’ girl and she instead enjoyed a slow friendship to lovers pipeline. Shouldn’t he still be able to be the latter? But Eric could fit the latter too.

She got up and shook her head before tilting her head and thinking harder. “I don’t think so…maybe talk to him more and even hang out? We had lunch together…but in the cafeteria so it’s not that crazy.” She turned to the camera, her eyes boring into his through the screen. “What would make you like a girl?”

He pretended to think. In his head he knew the answer: likes his cooking, is afraid of thunder, dreams of being a Hunter, loves apples and apple designs, sucks at physics, sleeps in until noon, loves horror movies but can’t sleep after…the list went a long way but the answer was simple. Be her. “She’d have to be someone I can be myself with and be comfortable with.” He was proud of his vague answer. It was still about her. Home.

“You’re so basic, you’re no help.” She snorted before starting her work again. “I’ll just let the tides take us to where we have to be then. If it’s meant to be, then so be it.” She giggled. 

With this, Caleb silently prayed to the tides she spoke of. In his head he prayed that they would take them to a point where they are the true ending. That the stars point to him as her one true love.

They hung up soon after. She was tired from her homework and they both had class the next day. When Caleb shut his laptop shut, his roommate Gideon propped himself up on his elbow. “You’re incredibly obvious. How does she not see it?” His eyes followed Caleb’s as he sat down on his own bed. 

“I thought you went to sleep.” Caleb rolled his eyes, slipping under his sheets after turning off the desk lamp.

“You kept bouncing your leg, I couldn’t sleep. And anyways, that call was the most interesting one yet. I was sure you were going to confess tonight.” Gideon laughed. He layed back down and looked up at the ceiling. “I was confused why you turned down every single girl in our class the first week. Once we settled in here, I realized you’re madly in love.”

“Yep…” Caleb sighed. There’s always a stack of love letters by his door and presents at times. He didn’t know how they had the time to do so, considering the academy’s heavy workload. It was the same during high school. At least then, someone was able to reap the rewards of his attractiveness. She would always eat the snacks given to him. Now it was Gideon, but he couldn’t keep up with it either. “How come everyone else but her sees it?”

“Judging from how I see it, I don’t think she really cares for how hot someone is? And didn’t you two grow up with each other? Maybe she’s looking for someone new…? Not to ruin your life or anything…” He suggested, trying not to push his buttons. Gideon knows how angry Caleb could get.

Someone once complimented a photo of her on his phone and said some depraved words along with it. If Gideon didn’t clock the fire behind Caleb’s eyes, the crude guy would’ve lost an arm.

“New…” Caleb mulled over the idea before shaking his head. “You know the guy she has a crush on…she said he reminds her of me.” It was his turn to prop himself up to face Gideon across the room. “And in a way, he reminded me of me too.” Tall, brown haired, pilot centric. The similarities were incredulous. 

“Dude.” Gideon sat up. “She’s looking for your replacement. Maybe she thinks that after being away for so long, you’ll find someone else. And she’s trying to beat you to it.” 

Caleb flipped over on his bed to groan into his pillow. He doesn’t think Gideon’s completely right, but he could tell that she was worried about him getting a girlfriend. She said it herself. But the replacement part sounds correct. She can’t bring herself to love him, and she’s looking for other people like him. He didn’t know why he opened up to Gideon. Reassurance, he thought. Yet all he received was reassurance for the wrong parts. He wanted to hear, ‘She DOES like you!’ not ‘She’s REPLACING you!’ 

-

The weekend he could go home finally arrived. A month after he promised he would. To make up for it, Caleb wanted to surprise her. His professor was out sick that Friday and he was able to leave early on Thursday. He wanted to wait for her at the school gate, like how he did before. 

He propped himself against the stone fence, looking up at the trees that still had some of their red and orange leaves. He looked around the area and was reminded of when they were at school together. Even though it was only earlier in the year, it felt like ages ago. 

She usually took forever packing up since she loved to chat with her friends after class. He would stand at the same spot waiting for her. Back then, he would sometimes hide to avoid his own classmates. Mainly the girls in his class. Her classmates weren’t as bold as his. They would look at him and whisper to their friends, but besides that, he had nothing to worry about. 

That present day was no different. As people poured out of the property, he had some stares here and there, but no one bothered him. He raked through the crowds looking for her.

The ring of her laughter reached his ears and filled him with even more warmth that the sun could never give him. He saw her walk down the steps, and even though she was walking beside Eric, all he could think of was how glad he was to see her again. 

The sun shone at her perfectly. Her eyes sparkled as she smiled in the daytime. He felt like he was falling in love again, but it was hard to know that he couldn’t just run up to her and kiss her in front of everyone. To let everyone know that she was his. Because she wasn’t.

He wanted to hold her face in between his hands and stare at her for hours on end in the sunlight. And memorize every curves on her face and the colors in her eyes. He wanted to be the reason she laughed and smiled.

As she got closer, she saw him.

Caleb stood confidently and in awe at the same time. He missed her.

And by the looks of it, so did she. The moment they locked eyes, hers began to look shinier with tears. She started running towards him without a notice to her friends or even Eric.

“Hey Pipsqu-” Caleb said with a big smile on his face before she interrupted him by throwing herself around him.

“You’re such an asshole,” she muttered into his neck as she hugged him.

His arms wrapped around her waist to support her up and he smiled into her hair, “I know, I’m sorry…I’ll take whatever punishment you have for me.” His heart felt full, having her this close to him.

Time stopped for him. It was like everyone else disappeared when he saw her. The sun shone brighter and the air became cooler and breezier. He was truly home.

She stepped down and looked up at him, still teary-eyed. He wiped her tears with his thumb and chuckled at her. “Miss me much?” He teased her.

She nodded, pouting. “I got good grades just for you to not even show up in person to congratulate me.” She lightly punched his arm. A perplexed face covered her sad one. She reached out again to squeeze his arm. “When did this happen…?”

He rolled his eyes, hoping his face didn’t look as warm as it felt. “I’ve always been rock solid.”

She shook her head, punching his bicep even more. “Stop flexing.”

He wondered if he even was flexing but he wasn’t. Did the academy have him working that much? Caleb went to the gym everyday like he always did. Yet, the academy did add a few more routines that he didn’t do before. “I’m not…”

“What? What are they feeding you over there?” She was engulfed in his new muscles. She started poking other places like his shoulders and even his abdomen. She was shocked, it seemed like. And he felt embarrassed by how much she was touching him.

He grabbed both her wrists and held her hands in his. “Hey, I just got back and you’re already giving me a physical examination?” 

She shrugged, “I have to make sure you’re real. But speaking of that punishment for leaving your dear friend alone for so long…” She looked towards her group of friends, the one with Eric in who waved at him. They were waiting on the other end of the gate for her. “You’re gonna have to eat dinner alone, to suffer like I suffered.” She nodded, proud of coming up with the wording of her penalty. 

His heart dropped and he pouted at her. “Really?”

She covered his eyes, “Don’t look at me with those! This is your fault for dropping by unannounced. My friends want to eat at the new BBQ place that just opened up. I’d say come with us, but they were really strict about the number since they’ve been packed the whole time.”

He was extremely sad to say the least. “Go home and make me a dessert. Make sure to pour your whole apologetic heart into it. Maybe I’ll forgive you then. Also, Gram won’t be home. It’s mahjong night.” She dropped her hands from his eyes, before covering her own after seeing it again. “Ugh, your puppy dog eyes are insane, Caleb. No wonder you always got your way. Not this time! I’ll see you at home.” She ran off the other direction before hustling her friends to get walking.

He was left alone by the gate. Watching her walk off with her friends and the guy she likes.

But at least he had a few minutes of pure bliss. And he hoped to make it up to her when she got  home. He quickly gathered himself and went shopping for his heartfelt apology.

-

Grandma got home before she did. Caleb and her had a small chat about how the academy was treating him. And she let him in on how much she complained about him not being home, which made Caleb chuckle at the thought of seeing her annoy grandma about him. She had to go to sleep soon after since she had an extreme night of mahjong, according to her.

Caleb was in the kitchen finishing her cinnamon rolls. He was indecisive with what to bake her but there was a lot of cinnamon stocked up for the fall vibes. He kept glancing at his phone, to see if she messaged him back. She must have been too enthralled with her conversations to look at her own phone.

He tried to focus on the fact that she was having fun with ALL of her friends, and not at the idea that maybe she was sitting next to him at the restaurant. Where was Eric sitting really? Next to her? In front of her? 

It was eating at him, but he didn’t want to spend his break time with her worrying about anything. He just wanted to enjoy his time with her.

He didn’t put his work into the oven yet because he wanted her to enjoy it fresh. He waited for her to text him back so he could pop them in. Yet, an hour passed by and then another with no answer.

He wanted to wait for her longer, but it was worrying him too much. Instead, he searched for any new restaurants that opened up on his phone to find out where she went. He found one that matched what she said and he instantly threw on his jacket. 

Caleb walked to the door and opened it to find her and Eric. And it looked like they were both leaning into each to kiss before being interrupted by the living room light and him.

Chapter 5

“I should go inside now, bye Eric.” She said, flustered. She glances between Caleb and Eric.

Eric looked like he was a deer in the headlights, wide-eyed and embarrassed. “Yeah, okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He gave an awkward wave and acknowledged Caleb at the door.

Caleb who was red in the face. Eyes were darkened and his fists were clenched. His grip on the doorknob was deadly, and it was most likely molded by his fingers. 

As Eric walked off quickly, Caleb finally closed the door. He didn’t slam it, but there was force to it. As if he really wanted to.

The mantra Caleb held onto was falling apart. The strength he thought he had emptied to the floor all in one go, rather than leaking out of him. What he thought was just a stupid crush was evolving right in front of him. Every day that he wasn’t with her, he was losing her to another. If he stayed with her, would he be the one to inch closer to her? Would she be so desperate to find warmth in someone else’s arms?

He stared at the door, stuck in his thoughts. Until her voice cut through the silence. “I’m going to take a shower…I smell like smoke from the restaurant.” She muttered. He could hear the awkwardness and panic.

Caleb couldn’t get a word out and let her walk off. 

It wasn’t just a stupid crush. She liked him, and it was a no-brainer to him that he would return her feelings. He wanted to be grateful that he stopped them, but who or what was going to stop them next time? Was he going to drag her to Skyhaven with him just to keep her away from Eric? The dorms at the DAA didn’t allow visitors to stay overnight during weekdays. 

Multiple options popped up in his head at record speed, all of which were futile. There was no stopping her from doing what she wanted to without ruining their own relationship. The only option was to hold himself back and endure this newfound relationship of hers day after day. He didn’t want to pray for the downfall of her relationship either, because that meant seeing her cry. But at the same time, he would rather let another guy make her cry. At least then, it would let Caleb be the shoulder to cry on.

He was disgusted by himself. The desperation became so evident. He wanted to be with her, wholeheartedly. And since he can’t have her, his deepest desire was that no one else can have her. He knew it was wrong.

So instead of acting on anything, he put his cinnamon rolls into the oven.

Instead of going out to kill the guy or blow up his house so they’d have to move…he decided to bake. Caleb knew the only reasonable route was to follow her route: let the tides take them to wherever. He’ll secretly pray it won’t work out. Every time she comes to him about something he did, he’ll push her to end things with him and focus on herself. He knew it was still a bad plan and wouldn’t be considered socially acceptable, but it was better than murder.

He looked at his reflection through the oven door. He looked crazy. A scowl looked like it’s lived on it for decades and his eyebrows were practically knitted together. He mirrored his inner emotions. Disgusted and upset. Disgusted by his lack of control and his lack of support for the one he loved. He rubbed his face in his hands, attempting to smooth everything out. 

The DAA made them do breathing exercises in order to avoid panic when problems arise during flight. He thought he would never have to use them since he was practically fearless in the air. Instead, he’s used it to calm himself down from the multiple potentials of losing his world.

“Caleb?” He heard her behind him.

He didn’t know where he pulled the strength from, but in a flash, he was able to put on a normal face around her. A soft smile was always easier once he saw her face. Despite everything, his heart still beat for her. No matter how broken it might have been at that moment.

She was in her pajamas, her hair dripping on her shoulders, dampening the fabric. She extended a towel towards him, “Can you dry my hair like old times…?” She bit her lip, looking at the floor.

He took a few steps towards her, perplexed. “What’s wrong?” He brushed his thumb on her lip like usual to free it from her teeth. “If it’s because I ruined your moment…”

She looked up at him, panicked, “N-no! I just…I want you to dry my hair.” She shoved the towel into his hands before storming off to the floor of the living room of the couch and turning the TV on. 

Caleb wished he could read minds. He was completely lost as to why she’s acting like this. The last time she asked him to dry her hair was when she didn’t receive any Valentine’s in her freshman year. He never told her, but he was to blame for that. He was in charge of the Valentine gram table that year (he volunteered) and he kept all the ones meant for her. He then returned it to the senders and basically threatened them to stay away from her. 

The smell of baking cinnamon was permeating the air, he hoped it would calm down the tension. He’s glad it’s the dessert he chose. He learned from his mental health class that cinnamon was often used to lift spirits and improve moods. Yet he wondered if the mood was too heavy.

He walked over to the couch and sat behind her. She was looking for something to watch and paid no attention to him. He began drying her hair, moving from instinct. He covered the ends of her hair to scrunch out the water before moving towards her scalp. She leaned into his touch before letting out a sigh and it made his stomach coil. What was once such an innocent act became so intimate for him. And he wondered if this change was only for him.

She handed him one of her scalp oils to massage onto her. “My head hurts…can you put this on for me?”She finally settled on an old show that she’s seen multiple times.

Caleb didn’t really know much about her current hair care, but he just followed her instructions. He got pretty good at massaging whatever was needed between her and grandma. It’s just been a while since either of them have asked them to. As he mindlessly massaged her scalp, he tried to ignore the sighs of relief coming out of her and the small shivers. 

It was quiet, minus the TV. Neither of them said a word. The timer from the oven then went off and he wiped his hands on her towel before getting up. He took his creation out of the oven before setting it on the countertop to add the finishing icings and letting it cool. “Just wait a few minutes before you can grab one, Pip.” He said. 

Caleb then went back onto the couch at the same spot. She didn’t move and he didn’t want to make her. He started braiding her hair like before, trying different types that she made him learn before. Raking his fingers through her hair to start over before trying another one. The tension was too heavy, the air was awkward yet cinnamon scented. He wanted her all for himself and it was killing him.

“I’m kind of glad you found us…” She finally said, dropping her forehead to touch her knees. Her hair falling out of Caleb’s hands.

“Huh…” was all Caleb could say. “What do you mean, Pip?”

“I don’t know, I don’t think I wanted him to kiss me.” She sounded muffled, but the desperation to understand made Caleb hear her crystal clear. “I didn’t feel anything when we were close to each other.”

“I thought you liked him.” He said, unsure. He wasn’t trying to talk her out of how she felt, he just wanted to understand. Was he overreacting this whole time? Was he planning murder for nothing?

She suddenly stood up and faced him, looking down at him. “Can you just…sit there? Don’t move. Don’t say anything. Please.” She softly pleaded with him.

Caleb was frozen but he mustered a small nod. 

She knelt down with one knee on the couch in-between his legs. And slowly leaned towards him, making full eye contact with him as she did so. Her breathing was uneasy and the warmth from face was radiating onto him.

Caleb couldn’t tell whose heartbeat he could hear. Both of theirs were so in-sync, it sounded deafening in the heavy air. His hands twitched at his sides. He didn’t have an idea of what she was doing. But he wanted to be greedy and close the distance himself. Yet, he stayed still for her.

She moved even closer to his face, the breaths mingling with each other. Her eyes moved from his to his lips, interchaging. Her breath hitched at the sight. His eyes bored into hers with desperation. And hers mimicked his. Before inching closer, she covered his mouth with her hand while the other clutched at her chest above her heart. She cursed under her breath before pulling away.

“I’m going to bed.” She quickly said before turning the TV off and quickly walking to her bedroom.

He heard her shut the door and it jarred him back to thought. His heart was hammering out of his chest.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, staring into space. Replaying the scene in his head over and over again. 

The cinnamon rolls forgotten on the countertop.

Chapter 6

It rained that night, funnily enough for the two of them. The weather forecast had no prediction of any rainfall for the whole week, and the skies showed no signs of it either. It was as if that night wanted to mirror the emotions happening in the household between them.

Caleb was completely in the dark as to why she did what she did. There were multiple answers, but after being wrong so many times, he didn’t want to bring his hopes up or down. His head played back the scene over and over again that night. It felt like she mirrored the same desperation he had, for once. Like she wanted to go further. 

He laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Occasionally his hands rubbed his face out of frustration. Caleb didn’t know how to move forward acting like she didn’t do what she did. They care about each other, but wasn’t she pushing him too far?  There was only so much he could take. Physically, he could take a bullet, a grenade, an entire thing to protect her. But emotionally, she was his biggest weakness. 

His thoughts were so loud, he didn’t notice the thunder that started rolling in the skies. The only thing that cut through his thoughts like usual was her voice. 

At first, Caleb thought he was hallucinating her. 

“Caleb…” Her voice calls out, muffled by the door. “Please…”

He rushed towards the door and when he opened it, she ran past him into his bed, under his navy blue covers.

Caleb realized it was because of the thunder. Except she was never this scared before. She normally came over with her headphones and laid next to him for extra comfort. This time, she was rattled and hiding. 

He was about to get in bed when he remembered he developed a habit of sleeping shirtless. The weather in Skyhaven was more humid than Linkon, and it was just more comfortable for him to sleep without a shirt. He would also have nightmares when he missed home, and almost always woke up in a sweat. He quickly grabbed one from his closet to slip it on before laying next to her, atop of his covers.

His hand reached out to soothe her by patting her back, but everything was still fresh to his mind and his hand hesitated. He even kept his distance from her on the bed, afraid of scaring her away. As if she was a stray cat on the street, he waited for her to approach him before making a move.

Another loud boom in the sky and she let out a soft shriek before scooting closer to him, shaking.

His arm instinctively wrapped around her, protectively. “Hey…it’s okay. I’m here, Pipsqueak…” He said, resting his chin on the top of her head before pulling her closer to him. He softly chuckled, feeling her nuzzling deeper into his chest through the blanket. “I thought you said you weren’t afraid of thunder anymore. What else are you hiding from me…?” He meant to sound playful, but he meant it and he wanted to know. He needed to know what was in her brain.

She didn’t respond for a while. Her shivering soothed down the longer he rubbed circles on her back and shoulder, the longer she was in his arms. The thunder continued to rumble, mercilessly. “When I’m alone, it’s easier to deal with.” She said, pulling the cover down a little from her face to make sure her words were heard. Her warm breath hit his neck and he hoped she didn’t notice his shiver. “I don’t know why, but…when you’re here, I feel so vulnerable. Like I need you all of a sudden. As if I was just faking it while you were gone.” She covered her face again.

She NEEDED him. Caleb thought it was one of the most beautiful things she could ever say to him. He always wanted to be someone that she could rely on. He needed her to need him. That was his main purpose on this planet, he believed. As long as she needed him, he could keep going. The reason why her finding someone else scared him so much was because she wouldn’t need him anymore if she had someone else. Caleb found himself holding her even tighter, nuzzling his cheek on top of her covered head. 

“Is that so bad…” He desperately wondered out loud. “What’s wrong with needing me?”

“Because you’re going your own path, Caleb. I can’t keep you locked up in this house, can I?” She said into his chest, probably hoping that he couldn’t hear her. 

He did, though. And something about her saying that made his heart swell. He felt like he wasn’t alone with how he thought anymore. That although he had the craziest thoughts about her, he didn’t have to feel as guilty as having them because she thought them too. She just didn’t have as much trust in him. She’s deluded with the idea that something will come in-between them, when everything he does is for her. But at the same time, he believed the same thing. And even a whole part of him still believes that something CAN still take her away from him.

“You can be as greedy as you want to be,” was all Caleb could say. He waited for a response and felt her breathing at a rhythmic pace, asleep. He let out a sigh. Wishing he could keep talking to her, but at the same time was glad nonetheless. Happy that she was in his arms again. The light at the end of the tunnel flickering again, giving him hope. And soon, he fell asleep with her.

-

Caleb stirred awake from the vibration of his phone on the nightstand. His arms still wrapped around her. The alarm signified that she had to wake up for school. He kept the alarm on, even when he was at Skyhaven so he knew when to text her to have a good day. He found the curve of her shoulder before trying to softly shake her awake. “You have to get ready for class, Pipsqueak.” He quietly said.

Her face was out from under the sheets whilst the rest of her was wrapped up like a burrito. 

Caleb couldn’t help but stare at her, slightly pulling away so he could get a better view. The sunrise casted a soft glow on her face if he moved at the right angle. And he was able to admire her even better. Her pink lips, slightly chapped from sleep. A drool stain on the corner of her mouth, and her dark circles were evident from a rough time sleeping. The word ‘beautiful’ echoed in his brain, over and over again. 

The warmth and brightness of the sun was finally able to wake her up slowly. “Can I skip today…?” She mumbled, turning over, burying her face in the pillow.

He wanted to say no to her. It was always so hard for him to do so. Caleb knew that making her go to school would be the responsible thing. “Grandma wouldn’t allow that.” He said, avoiding blame.

“I’m 18 now, they don’t call guardians about absences when you’re 18.” She responded, matter-of-factly, lifting her head from the pillow so she was clear. “Besides, she’s going to the mountains today to visit her friend for the weekend.”

Caleb thought for a moment. A plan brewed in his head to get answers, a selfish plan. He wanted her to admit whatever she was doing the night before. He couldn’t get it out of her during the storm, but he felt confident this could have been the moment. But he wanted her to be more clear headed. “Wash up while I think about it. I’m going to make breakfast.” He poked her side, knowing she’d be ticklish, to wake her up.

She yelped and grumbled before unraveling herself from his sheets. “Fine.”

He noticed that she wouldn’t look at him. She avoided every means of eye contact, and he was doing the exact opposite. She was talking like normal, but he could see right through her. The tension from the previous night lingered. And whether it was regret or something else from what she did, it stuck with her.

Caleb felt lighter. She didn’t like Eric. She felt something for Caleb, but he couldn’t understand why she kept building a wall between them. He couldn’t fathom how oblivious she was that he was doing everything to mine his way past the wall. He wanted to bulldoze it, but he waited for her to make an opening first.

Her words of her needing him rung in his head, bringing a small smile to his face. He propped himself with one hand, and the other hand covered his mouth. Hiding the growing smile from no one, but he was just in shock. “I need you.” It replayed in his head a dozen times and he felt giddy. If a doctor could see everything playing in his brain, he would have been institutionalized. His heart swelled with her words. He needed to be needed by her. She was his life source and he wanted to be her pillar. If she moved on and found someone else to rely on, he’d crumble. And as strong as she may be, he didn’t doubt her skills or her smarts, he still wanted to be stronger and smarter so she could lean on him regardless. As wrong as it may have been, he wanted to be better because if he wasn’t, she wouldn’t need him.

After celebrating and battling his inner thoughts for a few more minutes, he got up to head to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. 

It was a few minutes before she came out of the bathroom and plopped herself on a chair by the dining table. She was glued to her phone, eyebrows knitted, biting her lip.

He walked over with a plate of food for her. “What did I say about doing that?” He reached over to her to unlatch her lip, but she ever so slightly moved away from him. A miniscule but noticeable movement that made Caleb’s hand hover near her face before reeling it back.

“Sorry, I’m just kind of…” She dropped her phone on the table before grabbing a fork to eat. After taking a bite, she talked with her mouth full, “Can I please skip school, I don’t want to sit next to Eric today.”

Caleb gave in in an instant. Abandoning his plans of getting more answers from her. If staying home kept her away from the guy that tried kissing her the last night, he was agreeing to it. He sat across from her and gave her a reluctant yes. If wasn’t as attentive as he was, he would have missed the small twitch of her mouth, the corner turning upward for a split second.

They sat in silence, eating. Slightly uncomfortable as the tension lingered, but at the same time, slightly comfortable from being with each other at home. 

The two of them finished eating quietly. He was still unused to the way she volunteered herself to clean up the table afterwards. After years of unfulfilled promises of doing the dishes the following night, she began doing it without even being asked. It was bittersweet but more bitter on Caleb’s tongue. He was gone for so long, she began being independent in certain aspects.

“Are we going to talk about last night?” Caleb finally mustered up the courage to ask from the table while her back was turned towards him. The sound of scrubbing plates halted.

“Do we have to?” She said, setting the plate down onto the sink. “Can’t you just let it happen?”

He hated hearing the pain in her voice, but he didn’t want to just ignore everything. “That’s not fair.” He stood up and strided towards her. Grabbing her arm and turning her to face him, her gaze stuck on the floor. “What were you testing…? Why won’t you tell me? Why won’t you let me in?” He knew his eyes were pouring desperation and longed to meet hers. His hand moved to her chin to tilt her head upwards to meet gazes. “Please?”

“It’ll change everything, Caleb. I can’t do it.” She pleaded with him. 

“Change can be good, if you can just tell me. We can make whatever it is work.” His other hand let go of hers to wrap her face with his hands. “Won’t you trust me?”

They stood in the kitchen looking into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity. Both eyes mirrored the same desperation and pleading and uncertainty. She was the first to break it. She grabbed both of his hands to bring them down. “I’m not ready…can you just…can you wait for me?” Her eyes fell back to the floor, her hands fiddling with his trembling fingers.

Caleb thought that if there was a contest on who was more desperate, he was sure he’d win. But at this moment, she won by a mile. He pursed his lips and managed an understanding smile, not quite reaching his eyes but she wasn’t looking at him regardless. “I’ll always wait for you, Pipsqueak. I just hate feeling like I can’t help you.” He brought his hand back up to pat her head. “I hate seeing you like this and being unable to do anything.”

They could’ve stayed there for a bit longer until Caleb’s phone rang through the silence.

“Hello?” He answered without checking the Caller ID.

“Caleb, I know you’re in Linkon, but our project…the one due Monday. One of the parts fell apart during testing today. We need you back, as soon as possible.” It was Gideon, probably sounding the most desperate from the three. “I’d handle this myself, but to be honest, I don’t know how to. And you know how much we need this.” 

Caleb pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why can’t we do it tomorrow?”

“We only have the testing site reserved for today. I tried moving it to Sunday…knowing where you are, but it’s fully booked with everyone else. Not a single room is open this weekend. I’ll pay for your cab here, just get here soon. Please, I’m not taking any other answer. Let me know what time to send the cab there.” And with that, Gideon hung up.

Caleb let out a curse under his breath, covering his face with his hands to hide his frustration.

“Y-you have to leave?” She said, her voice breaking. 

His hands fell from his face to see her tearing up. He wondered if his heart shattering at the sight was audible. “Yeah…I’m sorry, Pipsqueak. Really I-” He tried defending himself but she pushed past him and ran to her room, slamming the door.

He texted Gideon a string of curses before giving a ready time of an hour. Caleb finished the dishes and left multiple notes on the fridge: a how-to-reheat-cinnamon-rolls, an apology note with a drawing of an apple on an airplane, and an ‘IOU amusement park trip’ coupon. He then grabbed his wallet from his room to pull out one of the many ‘forgiveness’ coupons she gave him when they were kids and slipped it under her door before taking a shower.

Once he was clean and packed up, he stopped by her door and knocked on it. “Can you at least see me out, Pipsqueak? I don’t want to leave like this.” He begged. Caleb waited for a few minutes before accepting defeat and walking away. He combed through his hair with his fingers, fully frustrated at the events that rolled out after wanting to spend as much time with her as he could. 

As he walked through the front yard to head to the cab, he heard the door open behind him and saw her running up to him, crying. She wrapped her arms around his waist, making him stumble backward. Her cheek was pressed up against his chest, surely hearing his pounding heart. “I’m sorry for being such a coward, Caleb.”

He never understood how his confident voice seemed to get lost every time she was involved as she was. All he could do was stare at the top of her head and press his hand on her back. 

They stayed like that for a minute before the cab honked their horn, and let go of him just as quickly, running back inside while wiping her tears with her arms.

A soft smile played on his lips as the realization of being closer to his dreams settled in his heart.

Chapter 7

“Why were you so hostile over the phone, did something happen?” Gideon pried while Caleb was tinkering angrily at the piece of metal that ruined his weekend. “You know it’s only Friday, you can still go back…if you finish that part.” Gideon looked over to Caleb ignoring him. “Or invite her here. I can stay with our pal, Patrick, and she can take my bed.” 

“Really?” Caleb decidedly stopped ignoring him and looked towards Gideon. “Should I?”

Gideon’s hand tightened around the wrench he was holding, seemingly holding back from throwing it at him. “If you had a tail, it’d be wagging like a helicopter blade right now,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, really. Don’t even think about texting her yet until we finish here.”

Caleb could barely keep in his excitement as he worked on fixing his ticket to a better weekend. His leg happily bouncing on the work stool he sat on, he even found himself humming to a song.

“Now will you tell me what happened that warranted for me to learn three new curse words?” Gideon prodded. 

“You’re so nosy.” Caleb snorted. “She said she didn’t like the guy anymore…kind of. In a way, she basically said she didn’t like him.” He kept the story short because he didn’t want to get too excited. And he didn’t want to overshare in fear of it turning out to be wrong or bringing his hopes too high. He was still in a headrush from the line “I need you.” And he wasn’t sure if he’d ever recover. 

Gideon gave him an impressed look but didn’t ask for more. A reason why Caleb liked Gideon was because he was an observant guy. Nosy was a better word, but he would also know the right time and place to be nosy.

They continued to work silently and efficiently. Three hours passed by before their project was back to working.

-

Caleb practically flew out of the testing sites to grab his phone to call her. After three rings, she picked up.

“Caleb?” She answered, confused. 

The confidence drained out of Caleb. He was just with her that morning and they even slept in the same bed the previous night, but when he heard her voice again, he felt like a middle school boy talking to his crush for the first time. “H-hey.” 

“Hi…” She replied, with the same shyness and a hint of confusion. “Did you…need something?”

“Do you want to come visit me? Here in Skyhaven?” He asked, full of hope. The last time she was at Skyhaven was for the tours before school started, and that was with Grandma. 

“Next weekend? I don’t think I can.” She replied, a little sad.

“No, right now…I can talk to Grandma and then send you a cab.” He excitedly said. “Bring some clothes, my roommate will sleep at a friend’s so you can sleep over in my dorm.”

“Just us two?” She asked, her question lined with disbelief.

“We’ve shared a bedroom before, Pipsqueak. Why are you so surprised?” Caleb cocked his head to the side with confusion, until the realization settled in. “Oh, I guess it’s kind of different…” Since they were usually in the home they shared with Grandma, and this time they would be truthfully alone. An awkward situation for a pair that had obvious feelings for each other. “If you want, I can also sleep in a different room, and you can have the dorm to yourself. I just want to spend time with you.” Caleb recovered, hoping she wouldn’t decline. 

“I don’t want you to go somewhere else…I was just flustered a little. Don’t worry about it. I’d love to come.” She said after a few seconds. “I’ll let Gran know, too. I’m gonna get ready then. See you soon, Caleb.” 

“See you, Pipsqueak.” He could barely squeeze out. Something about the way she said his name left him speechless. She rarely used his name if it wasn’t to greet him or to call him. The excitement filled him to the brim and he ran back to his dorm to clean.

He wasn’t a messy person, but Gideon wasn’t a super neat person. And he wasn’t going to let her sleep on some other guy’s sheets, even if it was just Gideon’s.

“Do I get to meet her?” Gideon asked while Caleb was wiping every surface and vacuuming every inch of the floor. 

“If you throw your sheets in the wash, I’ll think about it.” Caleb responded.

“Did you tell her that you told everyone you have a girlfriend back home that’s basically just her?” Gideon reminded him.

Caleb stopped in his tracks.  Another wave of realization. When he first got to the DAA, he was bombarded by affection from many of his classmates. Although he was used to this attention from high school, it was a lot harder to work with at the academy. He was a lot busier and they were a lot more persistent. Rejecting them was getting more tedious for him since many of them asked for an explanation. When he first went back home to visit, he snagged one of her many hairties from her desk, the frilliest one, and wore it around campus. He read from a college forum that many boyfriends used this method to deter other people from flirting with him. Unfortunately for Caleb, word got around that he came back to the academy with a new status. Many of them asked about his girlfriend and he found it a lot easier to talk about the girl back home than rejecting girls left and right. He ended up going along with the story of having a girlfriend in Linkon and it significantly kept him unbothered.

Caleb cursed under his breath. “Surely no one will…”

“They will.” Gideon finished his thought. “Not everyone goes home for the weekend, why do you think I’m here? Someone will definitely stop you and ask about her.” He compiled his sheets and began walking out of the room. “I’ll be back to grab my stuff…Don’t explode trying to think of a solution.”

Caleb sat on a chair trying to figure out what to do. There was no way she wouldn’t be weirded out by him for doing this, but at the same time, she could be a very understanding person. Whichever her reaction would be, the only choice he really had was to come clean.  He internally cursed at himself. The entire time he pretended she was his girlfriend to everyone at the academy didn’t feel like a lie to him. Mainly because he WAS rejecting everyone for her. The title was the only lie. 

His phone buzzed on the table to find a message from her: “be there in 10 mins…i think. can u pick me up from the entrance?”

He was filled with multiple emotions. Excitement of spending the weekend with her, like planned. Anxiety and guilt with having to tell her what he’s been doing. And extreme anxiety and longing from being completely in love with her.

He took a moment to recuperate his thoughts before finishing his cleaning. He even changed the sheets on Gideon’s bed and set his bag by the door for easy access. After a few more finishing touches to the place, he grabbed his keys and headed out.

He jogged to the front of the academy, excited. Somehow the trees in Skyhaven became greener despite it being autumn, nearing winter. The air became less humid, and the atmosphere seemed brighter to him. His anxious feeling lingered, but the previous disappointment of leaving her was forgotten and the giddiness of spending the weekend together took over.

As he got closer to the gates, he saw the cab stop and her step out. She was dressed in a long flowy beige skirt with an olive green oversized cardigan. Her long hair spilled over her shoulder as she got out of the car, and the sun hit her perfectly. Caleb thought that even if she was in her pajamas, his mouth would still salivate at the sight. Something about her being on the same ground that he’s been trapped in for the past few weeks and the next few years made him feel elated. He was also in a pit of sorrow a couple of hours ago on the cab back to the academy. The image of her crying when she realized he had to leave was etched into his brain and it clawed him from the inside out. But at that moment, it was so easily erased with the new face he saw of her making eye contact with him at the gates of the school.

“Caleb!” She waved at him with a wide grin. She shut the car door and walked towards his direction. 

He slowed down his speed as he got closer and scooped her up into his arms when they made contact. A bubbly laugh left her and tickled his ear and he spun her. He held her for a few seconds before dropping her back to her feet. He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear before holding her face lovingly. “Hey.”

Her face was slow;y turning a pink hue. “Hi…you’re acting like we weren’t just together in the morning.” She attempted to pry his hands away from her face.

He pulled her into another hug, “I know. I just thought I wasn’t going to see you again for another month, let me enjoy this.” He rested his chin on her head and felt her arms wrap around his waist. “I was also hoping that me being this affectionate will help lessen the anger that might come from what I am about to tell you in a few seconds.”

She stiffened under his arms. She tried to push him off, but he kept her pressed against his chest. His heart racing from the contact and from freaking out about his confession. 

“Remember the hairtie you lost.” He started. He peeled her off his chest and looked at her confused face before walking her to a bench under a tree and sitting her down. He then knelt in front of her before continuing his story. “I stole it to wear around campus so people would think I had a girlfriend and they would stop bothering me.” He fled through his words hoping she wouldn’t focus on details. “Except they were more curious than I thought and kept asking about my ‘girlfriend’ so I just pretended it was…” He looked down at the floor as he finished. “You.” 

“Huh? Me? And you stole my scrunchie?” She held her chin with her hand, contemplating the details.

Caleb pulled his DAA jacket sleeve up to reveal the hair tie on his wrist. “I heard it keeps girls away from you…” He sheepishly explained.

She gave him a grumpy face, which was then replaced with a puzzled look. “Why me…? Couldn’t you just have a fake girl in mind.”

He shrugged. He could have just outright said how deeply in love he was with her and he was just manifesting the situation that she would be his girlfriend. Or maybe that he was taking notes from all the dramas she watched back then where they would fake-date and then end up actually dating in the end. There were multiple things he thought he could have said. “You were the only girl I could think of. And you were all I could really talk about…” He ended up saying.

Her breath hitched slightly and her face turned red before looking away from him. “You’re saying weird things…” She chewed on her lip.

Caleb got up and grabbed her face again, his thumb tapping on her lip like usual. “Are you mad?”

She took a second to think, her cheeks warm on Caleb’s hands. She grabbed his wrists and pulled them down and held it in front of her before shaking her head. “I don’t think so…A little about my scrunchie,” She looked at him and softly smiled at him, “I don’t really mind your plan.”

Her smile made him want to lift her up in the air and give her a big confessional greedy kiss. He held himself back instead and returned the smile. “Great because we are definitely going to be stopped by multiple people at the dorms. So get ready.” He held his hand out to her. “We have to play the part. Let’s drop your stuff off and then I’ll take you to a bakery nearby.”

She hesitated slightly before standing up. Her hand taking his, intertwining her fingers with his. He thought they fit together like puzzle pieces, perfectly. Caleb was slightly worried that his hand would sweat profusely from the nervousness he was feeling. 

A sort of sadness settled in his heart. That he was holding her hand so intimately under false pretenses. They held hands before, but it was never with interlocked fingers. She was the one who told him that only couples would hold hands that way. And he was always waiting for that transition in their relationship.

“Are you going to show me around later?” She asked. It was a bit of a silent walk as Caleb sulked about faking holding hands.

“Weren’t you with me on the DAA tour, Pipsqueak?” He cocked his eyebrow at her.

She rolled her eyes at him and pinched his arm. “Yeah, but now I want the tour from the hotshot freshman that’s stayed here for weeks on end instead of coming home.” She pouted at him.

“Yeah, yeah. This hotshot will give you a more personal tour.” He laughed, the sound reverberating through his chest. He felt warm and comfortable with her.

They walked through the paths of the academy, hand in hand. The previous night and morning’s quarrels seem to be forgotten. Not in Caleb’s mind, completely. Only repressed for him to over analyze again at some point. But at that moment, he was worry-free. 

“I’m glad you’re here, Pipsqueak,” he softly said to her.

She let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around his arm. “Me too, Caleb.”

As they reached a more crowded part of campus, murmurs could be heard. Whispers of rumors and exclamations floated all around them. As more people looked, the tighter her grip on him became. “You’re really popular…” She mumbled.

“I think you’re the star of the show, this time.” Caleb had some sort of pride inflating inside of his chest. Even if it was pretend at that moment, he was able to claim the prettiest woman in his eyes as his to everyone around him. He was proud of everyone looking at her that she was clung to his arm. He tried fighting the smile that threatened to erupt from his face out of fear of her detecting how much he enjoyed what was happening.

“They’re all looking at us.” She glanced desperately up towards him.

He confidently smiled back. “They’re curious as to who managed to steal the cold-hearted wannabe pilot’s heart, Pip. I was brutally rejecting everyone.” He lied. Although he didn’t really care for anyone who paid him any attention, he never wanted to be an asshole either. 

He was met with another eyeroll. “As if. You couldn’t even hurt a fly.”

Caleb laughed at her internally. She was oblivious. Caleb recalled the intricate plans he had the day before to get rid of Eric. There was also the time he locked her in the attic to fight some bullies in their neighborhood. He was glad that she could only see the nice side of him.

A classmate of his walked up to them, “Woah, Caleb! Is this the girlfriend you were talking about?” His attention towards her, “Some of us thought he was lying to get out of going to parties. He said you were a clingy one. I guess he was telling the truth after all!” He laughed.

Caleb choked out an awkward laugh. “Clingy girlfriends are a brag, you know.” He looked towards her, fearing that she would feel awkward and put on the spot. 

Her grip on him tightened and she looked up at him with puppy eyes, mimicking the ones he gave her when he whined. “Have I been taking your time away from your friends?”

The classmate was the one to answer, “Oh, don’t mind us! Since you’re real, we’ll just sulk in jealousy instead. We were worried he was just brushing us off. Hope you guys have a good day!” He ran off to tell the rest of his classmates. 

“Hm, what else do you say about me?” She dropped his arm to enter another pondering pose. 

Caleb scoffed, “Besides being my girlfriend, everything I say about you is very truthful.” He wasn’t lying, he would just prefer not to repeat all the lovey-dovey things he’s said about her. Someone once asked what she looked like and he went on a whole ramble about how her eyes sparkled.

A familiar face was walking nearby, the one that made nasty comments about the photo of her on Caleb’s phone. Caleb’s jaw tightened as his arm snaked around her waist and guided her to keep walking. 

“What’s wrong?” She shivered from his new hold.

“I don’t like some people, just keep walking. We’re almost to the dorm.” His grip on her was stiff, but he tried to be gentle. “Don’t walk around campus alone at any time, okay? Skyhaven isn’t as safe as Linkon.”

“You’re kind of scary sometimes. Maybe you would hurt a fly if they were mean first, huh?” She noted. “But alright, I wasn’t planning on leaving your side anyways.”

The ice grip on his heart melted in seconds as she said that, a blush creeping up his neck onto his ears. 

They finally made it to the dorm and saw Gideon outside the door. “Ugh, finally. I forgot my key and you took forever to get back.” He got up from the floor and his eyes lit up seeing the girl on Caleb’s arm. “Woah! It’s you! Nice to meet you!” He extended his hand out for a handshake. “Caleb quite literally never shuts up about you. I think you’ve seen me in the background of some of your guys’ calls. I’m Gideon, his roommate.”

She giggled and took his hand. “Hi! Caleb’s mentioned you too. I hope he hasn’t said anything too bad about me. He talks badly about you all the time.” She joked.

Gideon punched Caleb playfully. “Ass.”

Caleb took his key out to open the door and let the two of them in. 

“Thank you again for letting me sleep here.” She said to Gideon.

“After what happened this morning, I don’t think he was going to let me sleep in here anyways. Better put it to good use if it’s not me. I’m gonna head out now. Maybe we can all have dinner together before whenever you leave!” Gideon said packing some more essentials before grabbing his bag and leaving. 

“Your roommate’s cute.” She said, plopping onto his bed.

Caleb’s whole body stiffened.

“In a kind of dumb way, he seems funny though.” She laughed, signifying a lack of attraction.

And then he relaxed. “Don’t call my roommate cute, that’s gross. And you’re supposed to be my girlfriend when you’re here, Pip. What if someone heard you?” He looked at her with an accusatory glare.

Her mouth fell open and then closed, as if she took back what she was going to say. Her face dropped a bit.

“What’s wrong?” Caleb asked, walking towards her before kneeling beside the bed to rest his hand atop of hers. “Did I say something wrong?”

She sat up and looked at their hands touching. “I’m all for being your…’girlfriend,’” she made air quotes as she said it, slipping away from his hand. “But…how is it so easy for you to joke about it? Is it that funny?” She bit her lip, looking at him with desperation in her eyes.

“I…” Caleb was at a loss for words. It wasn’t easy for him at all, but he wanted to play it off as something playful so she wouldn’t feel too uncomfortable. “If I showed you how hard it was, I’d scare you away.” He knew that if he showed his feelings for her first, he wouldn’t know if she would be ready yet and he'd spook her.

There was a moment of silence between the two. The tension from the previous night seeped back, and the previously airy and open space became hard to breathe in. She took his face into her hands. “Are you suffering as much as I am, Caleb?” Her head tilted, questioning him. “Am I really the reason why you won’t date anyone here?” Her thumb caressed his cheek and her fingers lightly touched his warm red ears. 

His face felt like it was on fire and was electrified where she held him. He pursed his lips, suddenly terrified. He nodded slightly, fearing that his voice would crack if he tried to answer.

She slowly leaned forward, inching further and further to close the distance. It wasn’t like the night before. Her eyes were filled with desperation once again, but none of the hesitation was present. And was instead replaced with yearning and fire. “Do you…like me, Caleb?” Her breath was hot against his lips.

Another weak nod was all he could muster. He wanted to close the gap so badly, his arms were taut with holding himself back. But he waited for her to make the move.

“Can I…” She looked at his lips and then back at his eyes.

That counted for him. That was her first move, and he finally crashed his lips onto hers.

Chapter 8

Caleb felt like his heart exploded the moment his lips met with hers. Once he saw her eyes flutter close, he took it as a sign of her erasing the invisible line she created between them. Their lips moved against each other, awkwardly at first, but neither of them seemed to care. There was raw passion and desire in their touches, but Caleb had evident hunger for her the way he swallowed every breath and sigh she let out. He thought her lips were soft and warm, and wanted to explore even further.

He pulled away slightly, his eyes glazed with desperate intent. “Can you…open your mouth a little more, please.” He pushed himself up from the ground and set his knee on the bed, straddling her partially. The position made her push herself up further into the bed. Her eyes looked for his and she nodded before Caleb dived in again. His tongue pushing past hers and exploring her, trying to remember and map every inch. Caleb fully got on top of her and pulled away to rest his forehead on hers. Both were out of breath as he said, “If this is a dream, please don’t wake me up.” In complete disbelief of their position, his eyes were blown out as he looked down at her. The same expression painted her face, as she reached up at him to trace his features with her fingers. Caleb caught her hand and nuzzled his nose into it, “I would have waited for centuries for you…I just think I would have exploded doing so.”

Her eyes started to water and she pushed his shoulder to switch positions. It was his turn to lay flat on the bed, with her on top of him. She straddled him and cupped his face again. “I’m terrified of losing you, Caleb. I thought it would have been better if we just stayed how we did…but it was hard to imagine if you…did this with anyone else.” She slipped off her oversized cardigan, revealing only a thin tank top underneath, with nothing else. The sight alone made Caleb feel dizzy.

Yet, Caleb found the strength to sit up, closing the distance between the two of them again. He guided her arms to wrap around his neck. The soft caress of his fingers on her arms made her shiver and he kissed her again, with more fervor, tilting his head to get a better angle. He wanted her to stop worrying and be in the moment with him. He had the exact same worries and he knew how deep the pit was in his chest all those years. Yet, at this moment, it felt like it was full again. Caleb put a hand on the small of her back, pushing her even closer to him before he pulled away from her but kept their noses touching. “I could never be with anyone that wasn’t you…you’re the one who tried replacing me, Pipsqueak. I thought I was gonna kill someone…” He captured her lips again as tears fell from her eyes. In between kisses, he said, “Was I not…enough…for you?” He moved from her lips, to her cheeks, catching every tear that spilled from her eyes.

“I thought it would help me move on and let you be happy with anyone you met here.” She mumbled, burying her head in the nook of his neck. “I thought he was enough like you, but I knew it’d never be enough.” Her arms tightened around him. “What if we don’t work out?”

His chest tightened as he peeled her off of him in order to look her in the eyes. “I’d do anything for you, you know that, right? Are you scared I won’t be good enough or are you scared you don’t like me enough…?” 

She shook her head, pouting. “What if you meet some-”

He stopped her with another kiss. “I could never love anyone else…please trust me.” He begged. Peppering kisses down her jaw and neck. He knew he was risking it by saying the word “love.” But he wanted to be open to her. He wanted to assure her that she was the only thing on his mind and in his future. 

Her face turned red and her eyes had fire behind them. Half-lidded, she grabbed his face again and surged forward for a deep, fiery kiss. As if his words lit something inside of her. She pushed him down and situated herself more comfortably on top of him. 

The movements on top of Caleb made his pants tighten. His face turned redder from her actions, and everything felt hot. He wanted to lift her away from his lap so she couldn’t feel what was stirring in his pants, but she grabbed his hands and guided it to move under her skirt. His fingers caressing her bare calves, hiking up her long skirt further and further until his hands rested on her warm thighs. His eyes shot open as he realized the only fabrics separating the two of them was their underwear and his pants. Her fingers played with the waistband of his pants, and he thought he was going to pass out

She rolled her hips onto the growing heat of his pants, and he pathetically whined into her mouth. It took everything in him to stop her hips from moving even more. “Pips, please.” Caleb thought he could have finished in his pants the moment he saw the desperation and want in her face. When he stopped her, a look of hurt replaced it.

“You don’t want…” She started to say, worried.

He threw his head back and covered his eyes with his elbow. “I do, gods, I want you so bad.” His hips jerked upward, accidentally or by instinct he thought. Another whine left his lips and a soft moan left hers, making his pants even hotter and tighter. “I just don’t want our first time to be like this,” he managed a chuckle through his tight throat. “I haven’t even taken you out on a date yet. And you haven’t even said you’d be mine…” He dropped his hand and sat back up. She squirmed in his lap, looking for friction and he held his breath before saying more, gripping on her hips to keep her from moving. “So…will you? Be mine?” He looked at her, his eyes piercing into her glazed eyes until he could see her regain clarity from the same head rush he was experiencing. 

She leaned her forehead to rest onto his, her hips restless and relentless against his hands. “Only if you’re mine and only mine, Caleb.” A small moan escaped her lips and Caleb took no time to swallow it with a kiss. She pulled back after a bit to say, “Plan the date then, Caleb. I’ve been waiting for so long, it’s getting harder to hold back.” Pleading into another kiss, her hips moving stronger against the growth in his pants. 

He couldn’t tell who was at fault at the growing dampness of his pants, if it was her or his own doing. Or a combination of the two of them. It made him light headed as he gave in, moving against her own hips. His arms wrapped around her waist, pushing him to move stronger against him. Caleb whined into another kiss, exploring further and deeper into her mouth. Their tongues fought against who got to explore who, but she moved even stronger against his warmth, making him gasp against her. “I…” He tried to tell her that he wasn’t going to last any longer. The sounds coming out of her, her lips against his, and her body against his body was driving him insane. Even though there were as many layers as there was against them, it still felt better than when Caleb released the pressure himself. It felt like heaven to him already, if he imagined how it was to be inside of her, he would have definitely made a mess on the spot. 

“Caleb, can you…” She moaned against his lips, breathing heavily. Her fingers trailed down his face, neck, chest, stomach. Down in between her legs, playing with the button on his jeans. “Take these off, I just…I just want to feel closer to you.” She pulled back and moved herself to sit on his thighs. “We won’t go all the way, I promise. Just please, let me feel you a little more. I need you.” 

The three words ignited something inside Caleb. He lifted her with an arm underneath her bottom, flipping her back swiftly onto the bed, earning a yelp from her. He pushed her skirt fully upwards to expose her underwear and airing the obvious dampness and excitement. His eyes were half-lidded, staring down at her. Any sign of fear or hesitation melted away from the three words, and they were replaced with extreme yearning and desire. Caleb unbuttoned his pants and swiftly peeled them off, without breaking eye contact, leaving him in his boxers. He quickly laid back on top of her, slotting himself in-between her legs. The two moaned into each other’s mouths, as he grinded into her with even more strength. His pace quickened as her moans and whines got even louder. The bed creaking louder underneath them. “I never thought…I’d be able to have you like this.” He moaned into her neck. 

“Me neither…oh god.” She brought her hand up to her mouth to stifle her own sounds, but Caleb quickly grabbed her wrist and pinned it beside her head.

“Don’t…please. If I don’t hear you, I’m going to think this really is just a dream. Please.” He begged into her neck, leaving marks as she squirmed underneath him. “I’m so close.” He let go of her wrist, moving it down to hook under her waist to lift her up at an angle, so she would be more exposed to him. His right arm keeps his weight from crushing her.

She nodded, “Me too, Caleb. Please don’t stop.” She grabbed his face and pulled it away from her neck to pull him towards another kiss. A messy and uncoordinated kiss, matching the same uncoordinated thrusts that Caleb was putting out as he slowly lost more and more control. Their uneven breaths and moans entangled with each other as they shared the same air while chasing the same high.

He felt her shiver and tense up underneath him as she came undone, and he spilled into his own garments, tears pricking his eyes as he was hit with multiple shockwaves of his orgasm and he cried. He tried to keep up his own weight to avoid crushing her, as he rested his head in the crook of her neck, hiccuping into it. He didn’t know why he cried at first, until the fog of sex slightly cleared, leaving him in a state of immense jubilation. He didn’t know it was possible for him to cry tears of happiness until that moment where he cried from the pure ecstasy he felt. He stayed hiding his face, because he felt embarrassed that the first time they participated in a sexual act, he ended up crying.

She softly twitched underneath him, recovering from her own high. She pushed him softly off of her, “Caleb, are you crying?” A hint of worry was in her breathless voice, as she sat up to look at him, still twitching every now and then.

Caleb lied on his back, covering his eyes with his elbow once again, as tears fell from his eyes. “Don’t laugh…” he said in between hiccups. He reached out to one of her hands, intertwining their fingers together before putting it to his lips, kissing her knuckles. “I’ve never done anything like this before and being able to experience something like this with you…is overwhelming me…in a good way. I just can’t seem to stop.” 

She giggled softly, making Caleb peek at her to pout. “I said, don’t laugh.” He sniffled into her hand before she unraveled their fingers and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

“Seeing you like this…makes me feel more confident that it wasn’t as one-sided as I thought.” She smiled before kissing his lips, a small meaningful peck. Her hands wiping the tears from his cheeks. “I almost thought you were crying because you regretted it.” 

“Your trust in me seriously needs some work, Pip.” He calmly said, holding her hand that rested on his cheek. “You’re insane if you seriously thought that.” His hand moved up to the back of her neck, pulling her down for another kiss.

Then the door burst open with Gideon walking in, looking down at his phone. “Hey sorry, I left my–” He stopped as he looked up to see the two of them on his bed. Although she may have looked somewhat normal despite her blown up pupils and messy hair, Caleb was lying down in his boxers. A rather evident crime scene. “Guys. On my bed?!” He scoffed, close to yelling. “As happy as I am that Caleb grew a pair. He has his own bed like six feet away.” He turned around with his hands on his head, in disbelief. “You know what…keep that mattress. Keep the sheets. I’m going to beg Patrick to let me move in.” He turned back around and left through the open doorway, slamming the door shut.

“We can deal with that later.” Caleb said, continuing what he was doing before Gideon interrupted them. And she leaned down, giggling into another kiss. As embarrassing as it was, he couldn’t care less because he was able to finally call her, his. 

Chapter 9

After a shower and a change of clothes, Caleb decided to switch beds with Gideon. He gave him a video call while she was in the shower to apologize. He wanted her to wash up first, but the mess in his boxers was a lot more unmanageable.

“You’re lucky Patrick won’t let me move in here…” Gideon grumbled. It was his turn to be upset at Caleb after that morning’s cold shoulder. A slight glint in Gideon’s eyes showed extreme interest in the current situation. “So…I’m assuming things are great.” And then as if remembering the reason for the call, he gruffed and rolled his eyes. “I mean, it better be if it was worth violating my bed.”

Caleb sat on his desk, propping his phone up to talk to Gideon hands-free. He took a quick glance at the room’s bathroom to check if the water was still running. He then looked back towards the phone and smiled. “Dude.” The events that happened just a few minutes before replayed in his mind and he buried his face in his hands, hiding the smile that was growing from ear-to-ear.

“Dude.” Gideon replied. The one-word exchange held a thousand words for the two.

Caleb dragged his hands down to make his eyes visible. “Am I dreaming?” He asked, slightly muffled.

“I’ll go over and beat the crap out of you, right now, and that’ll let you know if you are. I’m still upset, I’m hanging up…but I’m happy for you. Be safe. And stay OFF of my bed.” A genuine smile before annoyance flashed through his face before hanging up.

Caleb got up to lay on his bed to stare at the ceiling, giddy with the scenes replaying in his head. Every sound and word being manually ingrained into every crevice of his brain. It was making it hard for him to imagine having to go weeks without her, and it was also making him hard again. It was a lot easier to control before. Fueled by fear of being caught, he somehow managed to hide any hints of arousal around her. Now that he’s experienced bliss, it’s as if it has a mind of its own now. It was as if she held the key to every emotion, and she finally opened his heart to feel everything clearly. A weight was physically lifted off his shoulder and he just splayed out on the bed and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.

She stepped out of the bathroom a few moments after and he propped himself up with his elbow to look at her. She was dressed in a simple attire of baggy jeans and a cropped tank top that hugged every curve on her upper body. Caleb felt like someone knocked the air out of his lungs as he studied her.

She stopped in her tracks on her way towards him as he saw her reation. Cocking her head to the side and crossing her arms, “You’re acting like you’ve never seen me wear this before…you bought this for me, too.” She tuts at him before walking over and throwing a small towel at him. “Dry my hair.” She basically commanded him, sitting on the floor beside the bed.

He HAD seen her wear the outfit multiple times, and he was the one who chose the color since she insisted on getting the top despite it being too short in his opinion. Yet, there was an aura to her that screamed ‘I like Caleb!’ The change of their relationship made her glow a million times more than before, and he wondered if he needed to start wearing his aviator glasses around her now. “You took the space out of ‘girl’ and ‘friend’, and now I’m forever shocked by your presence, Pips. If it’s a crime to find your girlfriend breathtaking, then lock me up, officer.” He teased her.

She groaned before turning her head to look back at him, “You’re so chee-” 

He cut her off by leaning forward and running his fingers through the back of her head and pushing her towards him for another kiss. She softly moaned into it and automatically opened her mouth to him, making Caleb smirk against her lips before pulling away. She looked surprised and dazed when he did so, before giving him a pout. “I thought you wanted me to dry your hair. Turn around.” He said, feigning innocence. 

She looked like she was about to say something before turning around, grumbling. 

He took the towel from his lap and started scrunching her wet hair with it. He felt water droplets on her neck so he took a corner to wipe them off, his pinky caressing the tip of her ear, causing her to shiver. Whether he did it on accident or on purpose was all up to Caleb. 

His phone started ringing on his desk and she quickly got up. 

“Can you go check who it is? Grab the hairbrush while you’re up over there.” Caleb said to her, lying back down. 

“It’s Gideon.” She said, grabbing his phone and the brush before going back to him. Instead of sitting back on the floor, she climbed on top of him and laid her head on his chest, handing him the two objects.

He grabbed his phone while letting the hairbrush fall to his side, and his other arm held her still against his chest while he answered, putting him on speaker. “Hey, you’re on speaker.”

“I forgot to tell you that the shooting club’s event is at the range tonight. They’re holding a competition for the most points shot, and I heard prizes include a romantic dinner.” Gideon chuckled. “They also include that one video game I really want, if someone wanted to make it up to me that I found them doing sinful things on my bed…but whatever.” Caleb could almost hear him roll his eyes. 

He looked down to find her eyes and saw them staring at his phone, lit up. “Can I join? Can I shoot too?” She asked, grabbing the phone from him. 

“Oh right, I heard you wanted to be a Hunter. Yeah, you just need to pay the off-campus fee, but you can enter the competition too. Try and win me the game, and I’ll consider letting Caleb go home on the weekends.” Gideon said. “You know I’m his partner for everything, if I slack off…a certain someone will have to stay on campus longer to work on our assignments twice as hard.”

She rolled off of Caleb and lied beside him, gasping. “You’re mean!”

“You did stuff on my bed! I don’t wanna hear it, missy! I’ll see you both later!” He hung up.

She threw the phone onto his chest and flipped onto her belly. “That’s so embarrassing! He’s never letting it go!” She screamed, muffled by the pillow.

Caleb laughed at her before getting on his side to play with her hair. Grabbing the hairbrush to run through it, he asked, “You still want to go to the shooting range later?” He ran the brush through her hair. He wqs hoping he could take her out to somewhere romantic, right at that moment, but winning a more expensive date sounded fun for him too. Seeing her eyes light up was also a big motivation for him. Although he thought she was more excited about shooting guns than going out with him. “Are you trying to get experience shooting before the academy?”

She pushed herself up from the pillow before facing her body towards him, taking the hairbrush from him and setting it down. “Can we? It sounds cool…I never fired one before. Except for that toy gun you got me a couple years ago. Remember how we were shooting apples and soda cans.” She reached out to pinch his cheek. “I was always so much better than you.” She giggled, scooting over to him to wrap her arms around his chest and nuzzling into it. 

Caleb scoffed, “Yeah sure, you were the perfect shot. Let’s see how you handle recoil later.” He rolled his eyes, patting her head. He hoped she couldn’t hear his heart at that moment. The idea that they could do this mundane couple move was making him ecstatic. “The event’s in two hours, do you still want to go to the cafe?”

She shook her head, “I want to stay like this for a bit.”

“Alright, Pipsqueak. Whatever you want.” He placed a kiss on the top of her head as he held her tighter against him. “Are you gonna nap?” His voice lowers. His hand rubbing circles on her back while the other plays with her hair.

She moves back slightly to rest her chin on his chest to be able to look up at him. The adjustment made him move a bit back so he could look at her also. A comfortable silence took over as they stared into each other’s eyes.

Caleb took the hand that was playing with her hair to brush away the hair on her forehead. Then he planted a soft kiss onto it, lingering for a moment. When he pulled away, her eyes fluttered open to look at him again. “How long were you going to make me wait for you?”

She pursed her lips and then shimmied her hands free from around him before cupping his cheeks. “How long would you have waited?” Her eyes falling from his and landing on his lips.

“Forever.” He scooted back so he could take his hand and place it under her chin to force her to make eye contact with him again. “I thought I was going to kill someone when you told me you liked someone.” She winced at her decisions previously, biting her lip. Caleb tuts. “You need to fix this habit of yours, Pip.” His thumb pulls down her bottom lip free from her teeth before swooping into a kiss. He held her tight against him, afraid that she’d float away somehow. Her hands moved from his face to around his neck, her right hand running through his hair, sending a shiver down his spine. 

-

“I’m glad you guys made it!” Gideon ran over to them through the sea of other club members. 

The two of them walked into the shooting range hand in hand. Caleb made her wear his DAA hoodie since he knew the shooting club was mainly men. And as much as he wanted her to be free to do whatever she wanted, he didn’t trust himself to NOT knock someone out if they looked at her incorrectly. She provided no resistance, regardless. 

The shooting club held shooting events every other week. Caleb and Gideon weren’t official members due to time constraints of their general meetings, but it was open to the public. Gun safety and training was part of the DAA curriculum, so it was good for the two to join in. To Caleb’s knowledge, this would be her first time shooting a real gun, though. They used to shoot wooden pellet guns before, as well as air rifles, but never real ones.

“Just register over there. Quick! They’re gonna start soon.” Gideon ushered them to the counter. 

“You ready to shoot a real gun, Pipsqueak?” Caleb guided her with a hand on the small of her back through the crowd. “Keep in mind what I taught you on how to hold it.”

She nodded, giddy. “I can’t wait, let’s go!” She grabbed his wrist and made him walk faster.

As soon as they paid and got set up, Caleb went first so she could watch him. The contest consisted of five shots in total. The bullseye was ten points and each ring after, one point less. Much like the rules of archery. Caleb wasn’t an amazing shooter, by any means. But he was an above-average shot. Despite having the same experience as her, he was able to learn quickly on how to be precise and steady. This landed him with two bullseye shots and others close to it. One shot was a bit far off since he heard her laugh loudly behind him from what he assumed was a joke made by Gideon. He couldn’t tell if he was just entranced by her happiness or jealous that someone else made her laugh. Regardless, he lost his focus. This landed him with forty-one points.

He went back to her and she gave him a quick hug to lean into his ear so she could yell through ear protection, “That was hot, Caleb! My turn! My turn!” 

His face felt hot and he laughed, pushing past her so he could watch her turn. The range was reset for her and she lined herself up, planting her feet on the floor. Her stance reminded him of when they were kids and she was shooting soda cans in the backyard, and he couldn’t help but smile. He saw her take a deep breath before pulling the trigger as she exhaled. Bullseye.

His eyes widened as he looked up at the screen that showed where the bullet landed, and it was dead center. He looked over at Gideon who had the same expression, mouth agape. Caleb knew she was a good shot, but he didn’t know how well wooden pellets could translate to actual machinery. In her case, it might have been perfect.

Another shot. Bullseye. And then another. Bullseye.

He didn’t realize it, but a few more people gathered around her, watching. “Is that your girlfriend?” An acquaintance of his shouted next to him. 

His chest swelled with pride. After all those weeks of lying to everyone, he could finally respond with a truthful yes. “She’s great, huh?” He added. 

She must’ve noticed more people watching since the last two shots were further off, but still close enough to be able to land her a higher score than Caleb. A final total of forty-six. A round of applause erupted from the people watching, impressed by the outsider scoring higher than some club members.

She set the gun down and fast-walked back over to Caleb, slightly embarrassed. “Did you see me? Wasn’t that crazy?” She jumped up and down, holding his hands. Her hands slightly shaking from the adrenaline and reaction from the recoil.

The two and Gideon made their way out of the shooting range into the common area so they could talk easier.

“That was insane! Are you sure that was your first time?” Gideon asked, giving her a high-five. “I could never outshoot this hotshot. And you did it in one night!”

She shook her head. “Toys and air rifles…but never a handgun like that. Are my fingers supposed to hurt a little?” She rubbed her hands a bit before Caleb took over and massaged it for her.

“Yeah, it would have been worse if you didn’t hold it properly. You did amazing, Pipsqueak. You really are on your way to being the world’s best Hunter, huh?” He smiled at her, proudly.

He thought he’d be more upset about doing worse than her, he knows he has a bit of an issue where he always wanted to be better than her so he could protect her. But at that moment, he was surprised and happy to see her so excited. It also put him in a better headspace knowing that if she really had to, she could protect herself.

They had to wait until the rest of the contestants finished shooting to figure out the results of the winners, and once they did, it was no surprise that the two of them made it on the prize winning chart. They were able to claim their free date and the apology gift for Gideon.

[laursdomain]

how about bodoc‘s first kiss?🥹

you're like ice

pairing: bodhi durran x ridoc gamlyn

prompt: bodhi and ridoc share their first kiss, a situation bodhi never imagined to find himself in. in the dead of the night, behind closed doors...what could possibly happen?

genre: fluff!

warnings: fluff, takes place during fourth wing, bodhi's insecurities {no self worth, overthinking for his feelings towards ridoc}

w/c: 1.3k

a/n: song is "ice" by kelly rowland; heres my first attempt at a bodoc fic!! hope u enjoy <3

ྀིbodhi durran masterlist

ྀིridoc gamlyn masterlist

scorching me, you're so hot hot hot hot hot hot hot

baby your love is so hot hot hot hot hot hot hot

Bodhi wasn’t sure how he got here. It was late, too late. Yet, time didn’t stop when his thoughts scrambled around his brain, refusing to settle down. If he showed up to Xaden’s room, he’d probably be turned away like a lost puppy, especially if Violet was in there. 

He shouldn’t be out of bed. He shouldn’t be in this area of the dormitories. He shouldn’t be in Flame Section’s hallway. And he most certainly shouldn’t be standing in front of Ridoc Gamlyn’s door. His fist levitates, hesitating on whether or not he should knock. 

There’s no reason for him to be in front of Ridoc’s room. In fact, they barely interact during the day. If anyone ever asked if they were friends, the answer was a hard no. But they didn’t know about the late night talks that would go on for hours until one of them was nearly falling asleep. 

Bodhi’s closed fist lands on the wood, one, two, three times. He always knocked three times, almost like a code. The door immediately opened–too quickly–revealing second squad’s resident smartass. Ridoc was clad in only a pair of loose fitted pants, hanging low on his waist. His hair was slightly wet, still drying from his shower. 

“Hi,” a grin finds its way to Ridoc’s face, before it drops when he sees the tense look on Bodhi’s face. “Is everything okay?” For a brief moment, Ridoc thought something may have happened to Violet, and Bodhi was sent as the messenger.

“Sorry,” Bodhi lowers his head, “I just can’t sleep.”

Ridoc’s eyes soften before he moves to the slide, letting Bodhi in. He closes the door after him, eyes briefly raking over the boy when he’s not looking. Bodhi was clad in one of his tight black training shirts, accompanied by a pair of black loose pants.

Bodhi sits on the end of Ridoc’s bed, his usual spot every time he visits. In secret.

Ridoc sits next to him, maybe too close, but he doesn’t mind. Bodhi’s heart rate picks up at the proximity, but forces his body to not betray him.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Ridoc asks, looking at the older boy.

Bodhi hates how his heart squeezes at his voice. “My thoughts are a mess right now,” he mumbles, mostly to himself, but Ridoc hears it.

“Why?” 

Bodhi sighs out, “I wish I knew.” Bodhi knew why his thoughts were like this. With having so many exams, creating daggers, doing supply runs for Xaden–it was too much. He was burning out, and he wasn’t even using his signet. 

Ridoc lays on the bed, his feet still folded at the edge of his bed. Bodhi mimics his movement, feeling the comfortable mattress dip below his weight. The two stare at the white ceiling for what feels like minutes until he feels movement from Ridoc. The other boy in question props himself up on his elbow, looking down at Bodhi. Bodhi makes eye contact, and he hates how his cheeks warm up at the grin Ridoc sends him. 

“What?” Bodhi awkwardly chuckles, though he can’t seem to look away.

“Nothing,” Ridoc mutters, yet his smile doesn’t falter and his eyes don’t leave Bodhi’s. 

Bodhi can tell he’s lying, something he’s learned from Xaden. “Liar.”

Ridoc squints his eyes, “how do you always know?”

“I’m just exceptional like that,” Bodhi grins, “now tell me.”

Ridoc rolls his eyes playfully, “your eyes are pretty.”

Bodhi playfully shoves Ridoc, his cheeks felt on fire. “You’re a flirt.” 

“An honest one,” Ridoc teases, but his words hold truth. 

Bodhi gulps, finally looking away from the boy. He knows that if he continued to look into his eyes, he’d be tempted to do things he shouldn’t. Ridoc furrows his brows, annoyed that Bodhi stopped looking at him. He liked when Bodhi looked at him. Before he can stop himself, Ridoc lightly grips Bodhi’s chin, forcing him to look at him again. 

“I like it when you look at me,” Ridoc mumbles, resting his fingers on Bodhi’s chin. 

“Okay,” Bodhi mutters. What he wanted to say was that he enjoyed it too. Too much, actually. Too much that he needed a break from Ridoc’s mesmerizing eyes. But because he’s so damn nervous and can’t contain himself, he settles on a weak one-word response.

After a beat, Bodhi is tempted to look away. Before he can make any movement, he catches Ridoc’s. Ridoc not-so-sneakily glances down at Bodhi’s lips before they flicker back up to his eyes. Ridoc hopes he wasn’t caught, but wouldn’t mind if he was. 

Bodhi caught him.

Bodhi looks away again, needing to catch his breath even though they are doing absolutely nothing. He feels pathetic, he feels small and weak. He couldn’t help but think his father would be disappointed, the man who taught him to be big and strong in front of anyone and everyone. He always was, until it came to people he cared about.

Did he care about Ridoc? Bodhi wasn’t too sure. He enjoyed their late night talks, it was comforting. Even though he was hiding too many things from the boy, he felt safe and comfortable. As if nobody could hurt him as long as he was in this room. 

Before Bodhi can dwell on it too much, Ridoc’s fingers find his chin again, dragging his eyes back to the boy. Except this time, Ridoc’s grip doesn’t falter. Instead, he uses his grip to keep Bodhi in place as his head dips down, capturing the boy's lips with his own. Bodhi gasps in surprise, eyes widening. It takes him a second to process what is happening, but the moment he recovers, his own lips are molding against Ridoc’s. 

Bodhi’s hands travel up Ridoc’s body, one hand resting against his bicep while the other tangles in the wet hair at the nape of his neck. Gods, he was a good kisser. Bodhi couldn’t keep up, but he didn’t mind. He loved how the kiss was full of tenderness and passion, never faltering. Ridoc’s lips were soft, too soft, Bodhi thought. They may have been the softest things in the world. Bodhi could stay like that forever, consumed by Ridoc’s lips until the end of time. He could get used to this, sneaking away in the darkness of the night to be consumed by him. Ridoc breaks the kiss, the need for air too much, and he takes pride in the groan that came from Bodhi’s plush lips. 

Ridoc grins down at the boy below him, resting his head against Bodhi’s. Bodhi knew Ridoc would tease him for his reddened face later, or maybe now, Bodhi didn’t know, nor did he care. He promptly wrapped his arms around Ridoc’s neck, bringing the boy in for a tight embrace. Ridoc welcomed his hug with open arms, settling his body weight on top of Bodhi. Maybe he’d fall asleep that way, but that’d complicate things. People would see. But at this moment, Ridoc didn’t care, and he suspected Bodhi didn’t either.

Bodhi did care about Ridoc, maybe too much. Maybe Xaden would scold him for getting involved with someone that didn’t know what was going on beyond the borders, but he’d be one to talk. Xaden’s situation was far more complicated than Bodhi’s. 

Bodhi placed a small, gentle kiss against Ridoc’s neck before nuzzling against it, inhaling his scent as he felt himself fall asleep under his body weight. He wasn’t sure when, but his thoughts stopped long ago. Maybe it was when Ridoc smiled at him, or kissed him, or maybe it happened once he embraced the boy. Bodhi didn’t care, not right now. He was more focused on sleep dragging him to dreamland, Ridoc’s bed and embrace far too comfortable. The two promptly fell asleep, almost managing to miss formation.

[miraclewoozi]

[ 22:38 ] - b.sk

pairing : seungkwan x fem reader. content : smut. literal pwp. (MINORS DO NOT HAVE MY CONSENT TO INTERACT.) w/c : 1.5k. notes : i’m down horrendous for boo seungkwan and his fucking hands. what else is new? SMUT TAGS UTC.  notes 2.0 : my first timestamp! wow. how fun. (i honestly just needed to get this out of my system, so. sorry about it.) boosadans, u guys are are so starved. pls accept this little token of my love to you.

smut tags : soft!dom seungkwan, sub!reader. swearing (obv). physical restraining (if you squint there’s maybe the tiniest implication of a size kink but not really?), some possessiveness but it’s minimal and mc likes it, unwrapped piv sex (he pulls out but still. be safe out there team), nipple play, clit stimulation, praise, pet names (baby, princess, sweetheart), some orgasm control. LET ME KNOW IF I FORGOT ANYTHING.

Both of your wrists fit so perfectly in just one of his hands. 

It’s the best revelation he’s ever made. In the months you’ve been together, there have never really been any true power dynamics at play in the bedroom, both of you always too caught up trying to please instead of dominate. But when you release your hands from where they’ve been tangled in his hair and they fall onto the mattress just above your head, something clicks inside him. Seungkwan finds himself now gently pinning your arms down to your bed sheets as he leans over you, his long fingers spread wide to keep you in place, his hips rocking against you rhythmically. Just hard enough to rile you up. Just a little too slow to have you shaking.

It’s perfect, Seungkwan thinks, because it keeps his other hand free to use however he desires. He can cup your cheek, and murmur ‘my pretty baby’ at you as your eyes roll back into your head. He can toy with your nipples, if he wants, and tell you how perfect your tits look when he thrusts hard enough to make them bounce. He can grip your waist, holding you still as he fucks into you slightly rougher, watching your smooth skin depress under his touch. 

He can even tease his fingers over your clit and make you squeeze your sweet little pussy around his cock. That’s his favourite, he thinks. By the way you react, it might just be yours, too. 

“Harder,” you gasp as he readjusts his hold on your wrists, and he looks down his nose at you with that raised eyebrow, sideways smirk signature he has. You swallow, biting your lip briefly before you say, “fuck— please, Kwannie. Hold them tighter.”

“Oh, princess,” he coos, cock throbbing at how you sound so angelic and beautifully fucked out. More-so as you whine in desperation when his fingers curl more harshly, giving you enough pressure to immobilise your hands entirely. “Is this it? This how you like it?”

“Yes,” you tell him, nodding and tugging against his hold, testing it, but it’s to no avail as he presses you further into the sheets, rolling your clit now between his thumb and forefinger on his other hand. “Fuck, I’m—”

“Not yet,” he interrupts you, shaking his head with a pout that you’re almost inclined to believe is condescending. “You can’t come yet, okay?” 

Well, fuck. You’ve never been too good at holding your orgasms off, and thankfully Seungkwan has very, very rarely asked you to try. He loves the way you feel around him when you unravel, and he’s always so eager to get you off before he does that the moment you tell him you’re close, it’s music to his ears. You’re just so velvety around him. So warm and wet and he sometimes feels bad that he can’t always last that long, but it’s all your fault for being so damn perfect.

You try your best, but you don’t even have anything to grab onto. You can only ball your hands into fists to try and anchor yourself as he snaps and snaps and snaps his hips into you, as he pinches and massages at the bundle of nerves between your thighs. That little smirk makes a comeback on his features, but you don’t notice. Not until —

“Wish you could see yourself right now,” he sighs as he angles his thrusts a little bit deeper and your eyes fly open, your lips parting in a squeak of surprise at how far up in your stomach you feel him. “God, you’re doing so well, baby. Feels like this pussy was made for me.”

It makes your head spin. This is the first time he’s ever said anything like this in bed — he’s usually so… shy, so decorous. But thinking about how every vein in his cock must surely leave imprints on your insides, how the fucking your cunt takes multiple times a week makes you inarguably his? You’ve only ever been turned off by a possessive man, before now, yet this, from your usually so sweet boyfriend? Sends pulse after pulse of pleasure straight to your core. 

You think you need to try and bring this out in him more often. 

Talking back to him is a waste of the effort you’re using to try and hold yourself back from the edge, so you just nod, pinching your lips together as you swallow the words. The issue here, though, is that in your silence, your ears are left to pick up on every single other thing. The lewd sounds of your hole sucking him in over and over. The way your old bed frame squeaks with every single movement. His breathy sighs and moans. The slap of skin on skin when he eventually uses that free hand to hike your left leg up around his waist and he manages to get even closer, still. 

“Please tell me you’re—” you start to say, the fire inside you warmer than it’s ever been without you letting it consume you. “I don’t know if I can…”

“You really need it, huh?” he asks, dipping down to kiss your lips softly, slowing until he almost stops. “You gonna come?”

“Please,” you beg, trying to move beneath him, trying to fuck yourself on his length. You’re so close. You just need a little more. “Please, please, please—”

He lets go of your wrists altogether and immediately, you wrap your arms around him, pressing your fingertips into his back as he settles back into a delicious rhythm. 

“Okay,” is all he says, the word hot as it fans over your parted lips, as his exhale disappears into your mouth. But it’s all he needs to say. Frankly, it’s all he gets the chance to; it happens before you’re ready, before you can communicate it, even though you’ve spent what feels like forever being built up to this. All of your muscles stiffen as it hits you and you’re seeing stars behind your tightly closed eyelids. Your breaths escape you in a series of moans and whines, each inhale more like a gasp. He feels you clenching around him, feels how you try to pull his whole weight down against your stomach, feels how much wetter your cunt gets and how your leg tightens around his waist to try and keep him buried inside you. 

It almost tips him over the edge, too, and even though he stills, he finds himself having to go back naming all of his highschool teachers in his head just to try and keep a shred of composure while your walls do their best to milk him dry. Thankfully, it doesn’t take too long for your arms to go slack around him, and (though reluctantly) he hurries to pull out of you. Seungkwan takes his cock into his hand instead and he fucks into his fist at the same pace as before – and no, it’s not as plush or warm or tight as you, but it doesn’t need to be. You take him to the point of no return every time — this just needs to be enough, and wow, it is. In seconds, his balls tighten and his forehead scrunches and he grunts as he releases in spurts all over your stomach.

He comes, and he comes, and it feels a bit like he’s never going to stop coming. But whenever it does end, when his agonisingly sensitive length starts to soften, and squeezing out every last drop onto your waiting body is almost an impossible task, he feels exhausted. He made such a mess. It’s everywhere. All on his hand, on the sheets, on you; you’re lying there looking so fucking pretty, breathing like you’ve just finished a race, and your belly is pearlescent with his cum, and all he wants to do is go to sleep. 

But you half-sit up and reach out to him, taking hold of his wrist, now. He lets you (he’d let you do anything in these afterglow moments, and he knows that you know it too), softening the muscles in his arm to straighten at the elbow, and he watches you. Watches you drag your tongue over the skin between his thumb and his pointer finger. Watches as you lap up and swallow back the cum he was about to get up to wipe up with a tissue. Watches as you clean up every trace he left of his orgasm on his own hand, before you flop back onto the pillows, giggling and licking over your kiss-swollen lips. 

He almost feels like he could get hard again at the sight of it. But — much to his own dismay — Seungkwan’s refractory period has never been quick. Even if he did pop another hard-on right now, he knows he’d be way too sensitive to do anything with it. 

“You can’t do that to me,” he pouts, leaning over you to the bedside cabinet to grab a few tissues to start cleaning you up. “Not without a warning.”

"A warning wouldn't help and you know it," you tease him. He gives a 'hmmph', pulling a few free from the box and rolling his eyes as you squirm, ticklish when he starts to wipe his release from you. “You’d whine about it anyway.”

“I don’t whine,” he-… well. “Come on. Get up — bathroom, baby.”

You think that this is supposed to be distracting, to stop you being able to call him out for his immediate contradiction. On the other hand, maybe this is just his way of looking after you — it could be both, even. But you reach both arms up, first, silently asking him to come down to you one more time. He does, rolling his eyes and meeting you in another kiss, the tissues still scrunched up in his palm.

“Two minutes?” You ask, locking him into a cuddle he could probably escape from, if his strength ever happened to overpower the love he has for you. Yet, he rolls onto his back and tosses the tissues with alarming accuracy into the bin next to your dresser, pulling you into his chest.

“One and a half,” he agrees, nodding up at the ceiling.

He can never say no to you. Not especially when you hum into his collarbone and drag your fingers down his arm to take hold of his (clean) hand.

thank u sm for reading!! as always, likes, reblogs & feedback are all greatly appreciated.<3

[rubywithecat]

-First Night With Them-

(T/W: Minors do not interact as mature contents are included)

Summary: U are forced to marry them by your parent and feel shy for the first night with them after wedding as u are completely strangers to them.

Gojo Satoru

Waiting for him on the lavish bed in the new mansion u just moved, u were nervous. Gojo is so handsome and u thought u were going to marry an old ugly man as u only knew how rich he was. How can a person be both good-looking and rich and have a cool style. He is just a definition of perfection. U felt insecure now. What if he doesn’t like ur body? What would he think of u? Will he ever love u? Are u good enough? U had many thoughts about urself. Meanwhile, the door opened as Gojo walked inside the room after he had showered.

He looked at u lying on the bed in lingerie and smirked slightly. He doesn’t say anything tho he made a move onto the bed, coming close to u. U flinched and closed your eyes tightly. However, he held ur waist slowly and his fingers lifting up your face, making u look into his pretty blue eyes. “I want u to be a good girl for me tonight” he said. “Don’t be shy, sweetheart. I promise this won’t hurt” U gulped. But encouraged urself to say a word finally, getting a lil comfortable near him. He seems like a good person after all. And he is ur man now. U smiled with ur glossy lips and whispered into his eyes, “Please go slow. I like it slow and long” Gojo chuckled, proud of u for the courage to say what u would like.

“Don’t worry, Princess. I already said I will make u feel good, right?” He said as he slowly undressed u. “Ahh…Gojo” u moaned. “Gojo? Call me with my name bby. Don’t be a stranger” as he said u can feel him frowning. “Im sorry.. ah fck.. Satoru” u said again as his fingers slipped inside u. “Don’t c*m before me ok? That’s the only rule” he said as he undress himself. U guys finished at the same time after and he came on ur stomach. After that he laid next to u sleepily, his silvery hair being messy “U are so good and beautiful u know that, bby?” He said with his sleepy voice which is super hot. U were beyond happy by his praises and cuddled with him. He smiled and playing with ur hair as u guys having a chat, getting to know each other more.

Nanami Kento

“I would understand if u wanna sleep in separate bed” he said. He really is a gentleman u thought. But u decided that u will be playful with him. U bit ur lips and leaning closer to him. “U wanna leave ur newly wife alone Nanami?” U teased, looking at him with doe eyes, which he cannot resist. U could feel him turning red and blushed. “I mean if u wanna” he said, pretending he doesn’t realized anything that’s happening. Ur thighs on his laps as u face with him and being touchy around his chest, unbuttoning his shirt. Normally u don’t go flirty with any guys but he is ur husband after all and he is really cool and u completely melt at his serious personality.

Even tho it was an arranged marriage, u kinda felt lucky that u marry him. Tonight, u wanna go wild with him and make him breed u with his baby. It’s him who is feeling shy and u kinda like about that and u planned to go beyond his limit to tease.

Nanami knows ur intention and at last he couldn’t endure anymore. The way u looked at him with lust, turn him on so much that he now fck u with all his strength, rough and fast. He is so good that ur brain can’t think of anything except screaming his name and finished with all his c*m into ur womb.

In the morning, when u wake up he already left for work but he doesn’t forget to leave a lovely letter about how he enjoyed and he loves u. U smiled at it and maybe he is shy about telling u in person. U stood up to make the best meal for ur newly husband.

Toji Fushiguro

Toji is being a lil cocky here. He would not give a fck about u being ok with it or not, he would do anything to satisfy his need. After all, he had married once and he knows what to do. He told u to strip urself and fingers u as soon as u laid on him. “I know how to make u feel good so follow my lead, angel” he would say. He would be comparing of how good u r or not with his ex wife, which makes u go crazy and prove him that u are way better than his ex wife.

After that, he would leave u all the hickey, leaving marks on visible area that u are now his. U love the idea of it and u love him too. He can be a jerk but he also loves u so much in first sight. U forgive him as he gave u the best night after all.

Megumi Fushiguro

He is rather doesn’t care about what is supposed to do at wedding night at all. He just went straight to his practice. He doesn’t talk to u at all, thinking u don’t wanna be talked. U were confused about his actions and as u haven’t known him at all yet, u thought he is being a jerk. U called ur bestfriend on video call as u were bored, alone in bed room. “I think he is fcking asshole!” U said frustratedly to ur bff. “He doesn’t even look at me into eyes and I think he doesn’t want me. I feel so sad” U told her, without realizing he was standing behind u leaning the door, maybe hearing all the gossips u told about him.

Ur friend giggled and just hang up, wishing good luck with a hateful smirk. “Hey!! Don’t hang up!” U yelled as u don’t know what u r supposed to do. U could sense him, walking near u and from behind he said, “I’m sorry about that. I just thought u didn’t wanna talk to me as this marriage was arranged so soon so we didn’t get to know each other yet” U felt embarrassed.

“I know… I’m just…” u sighed, facing him. “Either way, we are still husband and wife so we should try our best at least dont u think?” U said in sad tone. He suddenly kissed ur lips softly, catching u off guard. “I’m so sry if I make u sad (y/n). I wanna get to know u more to be honest, I’m just feeling nervous around u. U gives me butterfly as soon as I saw u” he admitted.

Then u kissed him back and he lifted u to the table of his study and held ur hips tightly. “I want u” he whispered which makes u turn on. “I want u too, Megumi” u said as u grabbed his shoulder and hugged around the neck. “Make me yours” u said and he didn’t go gentle with u. He is a dominant type after all but still he knows ur need and also surprisingly, he reached ur soft spot fast and then finished quickly. “Next round, angel” he smirked, whipping his c*m on ur face.

Yuuji Itadori

He would be the most caring about u. He would ask u if u wanna watch movies with him or watch the stars in the sky at the balcony with him. U agreed to watch the stars at the balcony in his hoodie as u haven’t unpacked fully after moving. His smells felt like vanilla and he would be listening when u talk about urself, getting to know with u. He also tell all about himself and he seems to be a really good person that u fell in love immediately about his purpose of life and his cares about others.

After a while, u become cold so he held u tightly and silent occurs between u guys. U really wanna kiss him and he wanted to too but just awkward. U decided to make a first move and kissed him. He was surprised but kissed u back and then u guys the kiss became passionately. U got all shy after that and blushing. “Do u wanna go inside?” He asked. You nodded and then he carried u to the bedroom where he started to kiss u from ur sensitive areas around neck once u get laid down on the bed. Ur moaned made him crazy and he even left sone bite marks and tells u that he really likes u a lot and how he is so lucky to have u as his partner. He goes super gentle and takes good care of u too. “I’m c*mming” u said as rolling back ur eyes. He also finished at the same time, laughters filled with joy.

Sukuna Ryomen

He is kinda so demanding. He would tell like what women are supposed to do and have to give a child. He is so traditional and will even go as far as asking u if u r a virgin:)

“Ofc! I’m a virgin! But do u really need to ask?!” U got sensitive to how he treats u. He would smirked and laughed about how u got all shy and angry with him. He finds it cute tho. But he would tease u like how u turn on just by his touches and u got embarrassed. He would tell u to verbally say how good he is when he fck u and he is also so possessive type. However, when he would treat u like his queen as yk he is the king of curses after all. He finished right inside u and u could feel the warmth of his c*m. He kissed u deeply and fell asleep.

Hope u enjoy! Likes, shares and comments would be really helpful! Thanks babies! <33

[transguydeuce]

queer twst headcanons pt 7: diasomnia

OKAY HOLD ON TO YOUR PANTS THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG FUCKIN POST

first. we must establish fae genderisms.

(if you wanna just scroll to the headcanons for the lads tho feel free)

i think fae have around 3 “sexes”. i say “around 3” “sexes” bc science has proven repeatedly that sex is way more complicated than it seems lol. anyway i think fae have majority intersexed individuals with some female and some male. this definitely means that there’s not really a gender binary to trans around in, and fae don’t have the same concepts of trans and cisgender that we do. plus the fact that most fae, including both male and female (which here i’m referring purely to whether they produce egg or sperm) have a range of traits that are traditionally viewed by humans as gendered aka breasts, external/internal genitalia, etc. i would say body hair also but tbh i don’t think they have any, baul’s beard looks more like scales or horns to me and unless i’m wrong i don’t think we’ve ever seen a fae with body hair.

i would almost hesitate to say that fae are mammalian but they do have some hair as well as boobs (thank u meleanor for screwing w my fae biology headcanon /j) and it’s also known that they r capable of creating hybrid offspring w humans so they have to be closely related enough to humans to do that so they are mammals, my thought is just that they have adapted to live in environments with higher magic. that’s why they’re typically more magically gifted yet it’s more dangerous for them to be without it (cough cough glomas cough cough) ALSO. BECAUSE THEY LAY EGGS, FAE ARE BASICALLY MONOTREMES. HAVE FUN WITH THAT.

anyway it's impossible to tell what bits a fae has just from looking at them. so they don’t really get assigned a gender at birth and therefore they don’t really have the same concepts of cis and trans that we do. personally, i hc that "he" is the default gender-neutral pronoun most fae use. that is all thank you for your time now ON TO THE HEADCANONS

malleus: personally hc him as intersex :) doesn’t really understand human concepts of gender, but is curious about it since arriving at night raven. he doesn’t really know what an “all boys” school is especially because some of his classmates r definitely not all boy. (he thinks that’s neat though.) dressed masculine primarily for convenience and would have no complaints wearing a gown. he/him pronouns bc it's the default fae pronoun and that’s what he grew up with but after interacting more with humans he enjoys a she or they from time to time. gender is like a fascinating human custom to him. also i love the hc that he’s pan bc he’s attracted to player character regardless of gender so i’m sticking to that

sebek: [just insert the entire knuckles pronouns comic here]

ok all jokes aside he uses he/him as well, and thinks that that’s the default for everyone. the most important human in his young life was his dad who is also he/him so naturally sebek gets very confused when humans have more than one gender. most likely finds out more after asking about why epel doesn’t like being mistook for a girl (uh oh) he concludes he must be a guy cuz he’s big and strong (epel what have you done). i don’t really have a read on sebek’s sexuality and i don’t think he does either tbh.

lilia: THEE genderqueer just look at him. she is genderfuck incarnate. he’s on that immortal vampire gender. he’s on that ftmtftmtftmtftmtf type shit. a different pronoun set each day. throw some neopronouns in and stir the pot. basically he’s genderfluid. gendergas even. she’s traveled all around the world, if you think he didn’t pick up all the different genders like a crow hoarding shiny objects you would be wrong. if you ask them directly they’d probably say their gender is gamer (to be hip with the kids). also a bisexual king and definitely had a thing for meleanor and her husband there is no doubt in my mind.

silver: well he was raised by lilia so….. afab doesn’t really apply to him. he grew up in briar valley and was never assigned a gender besides the default pronoun “he”. when he’s older lilia probably teaches him a bit about human culture and asks silver what he feels like doing and i think he’d most likely go on t, partially for gender feels and also partially to build muscle mass and be a better royal guard lmao. his gender is knight boyprincess. no i shall not explain. i think he’s sex-neutral grey ace that’s just the vibes i get from him

[arminsbf]

im rlly loving armin today…..tell me somethings about him….

HI DAHLIA!!!! me too omg literally every day 💗💗💗

i don’t know if this makes any sense at all because i’m just yapping but here you go!!!

before you dated it was SO fucking obvious that you liked each other — it became a running joke in the friend group about how he was so clearly in love with you

and yet I think it would take a long time before you two actually got together!! you had to be the one to admit your feelings — because ever since he realized how he felt, he stood by NEVER telling you abt it js because he was so scared you would reject him

but… srsly… he loves you so much. he’s so much happier now that he has you and that he doesn’t have to hide it anymore!!

mf sleeps SO MUCH, especially in the summer because he’ll be out in the sun all day and come home exhausted

he loves to watch movies with you but trust half of time he will js pass out while cuddling w you!!

basically whenever he’s touching you he gets tired :( you’re js so warm n comfy… he just… 😴😴😴

but that shows how much he trusts you!!!!! you’re really one of the only people he can be vulnerable around — even w how close he is to eren and mikasa

if you have long hair, he’ll learn how to do a ponytail, and then a braid… with help from you and from youtube 😭 he thinks it looks cute on you n he likes that he did it himself :3

maybe he’ll learn a french braid if u like when he does it enough!

loves spending time with you even if you’re doing literally nothing. he enjoys js being in the same room as you even if you’re doing something else

STUDYING!!!! you know he is such a nerd… he really does spend a lot of his free time studying/doing his work. his favorite thing though is working while you’re in the room!! like I said he really js likes being around you… you don’t have to be interacting.

he just likes having you there, even if you’re just on your phone or smth! he likes hearing your breathing, and having something to look at. he feels like a weirdo because it’s not much different from being by himself — but he loves you so much and js wants to spend as much time with you as he can!!

I KNOW YOU SAID THIS BEFORE BUT HE LOVES FRUIT???? he is always eating fruit. if you like fruit too he will make you this https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLyJ1d5B/ and eat it with you

i mentioned this once but i’m so serious he ran track in high school. he ran the 400 and HATED it but all his friends did sports and he was like okay i guess i can do this…

absolute demon at beach volleyball

always hounds you abt sunscreen because he spends so much time at the beach. “no babe you’re gonna get skin cancer you need to put it on!!!!”

but he offers to do it for you so it’s not so bad :3

he is allergic to shellfish

another thing i’ve mentioned before is that I think he gets nightmares sometimes :( he might wake you up from squirming or making noise, but then you can be there for him!

he’s usually okay right after, it’s never anything too bad — mostly just falling dreams, or maybe being chased. still leaves him feeling anxious and overwhelmed, so he’ll hold you close. with you there to calm him down he can fall back asleep peacefully

hmm i think he likes to hold your hand n kiss your forehead n your nose during sex :3

he’s super clingy w you in private but he gets so embarrassed talking about it with his friends…

like of course he’s not embarrassed to talk about you and how amazing you are but he struggles to talk about how much YOU love HIM without wanting to run and hide

cook him anything and he’s instantly proposing. he loves eating food you make even if it’s not good!!!

ice cream dates!!! he likes ice cream anddd I think his favorite flavor is mint chocolate chip

there,,, a lot of random thoughts abt my bf armin i hope you enjoyed!! 💗💗💗💗

[newtthetranswriter]

hii can u write a cuddle session with yuuta?

Summary: Just a lazy day cuddling and watching The Dragon Prince.

Paring: Yuta x gn!Reader

Word Count: 874

A/N: Thank you for requesting this. I love cuddles with Yuta, he’s just so sweet. I couldn’t help but use the dragon prince as the show they watch while cuddling because it’s one of my favorites right now and if you’ve watched you should understand my comparisons, if you haven’t watched it I highly recommend, it has such diversity and has the same feel as Avatar the Last Airbender, plus there are a bunch of easter eggs for atla because one of the creators was also a writer and producer on Avatar. Anyway, enjoy this lovely piece and let me know what you think. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

Dating Yuta has been a dream come true. He is the sweetest guy I have ever met and it feels like he understands me better than anyone. It’s almost like he can sense when I’m having a bad day because today he suggested that we skip hanging out with our friends to just stay in and watch one of my favorite shows. So, that's exactly what we are doing right now, we’er cuddled up on my bed with a bowl of skittles on my lap watching The Dragon Prince on netflix.

I just really enjoy laying with him and commenting on the little jokes each character makes or judging Viren for being a horrible father. We also like to try and figure out which character reminds us of each other and our friends, that’s the current debate we are having.

“There is no way Toge is Claudia, if anything he’s Zym. Because one, he can’t talk, and two he likes to cause trouble. I don’t think any of our friends are evil enough to be Claudia.” I said completely flabbergasted that he would insinuate that our best friend would be able to do such horrid things to people and animals.

He laughed and said “I wasn’t saying that because I think he’s evil or something, I was saying it because in the first few seasons Claudia is a complete dork, yeah she sucks for doing dark magic but she does dumb stuff as well. Anyway, now that we have Inumaki picked, who would Maki be? I personally think Rayla is an exact copy of her; they would both roll their eyes and slap someone for being an idiot.”

I chuckled at his defense, “I completely agree. Maki is also too stubborn to ask for help when she really needs it. Panda is Ezran, I will not accept any argument, he understands Toge and encourages his dumb behaviors.” I started with no room for argument.  “Also you are Soren, don't try to fight it, that's my final decision and I'm sticking to it.”

“W-what how am I Soren?” My boyfriend looked at me obviously confused by my statement. “I’m not disagreeing, I’m just curious why you think that.”

“Well for one you both use swords to fight. But most importantly, you are both extremely kind in spite of the fact you have both been through a lot. Soren spent years being gaslite by his father into doing horrible things, and when he tried to make his sister see it she also tried to gaslight him. Once he finally realized his family was doing horrible things he made the hard choice to leave them and change for the better. Now I’m not saying you have the same past but I know you struggled and suffered for a while. Having Rika lash out everytime something even came close to threatening you and not understanding it had to have been difficult, but instead of giving up, you decided to keep fighting and try and make it so no one else has to go through what you did.” I pointed out the major similarities between the two swordsmen. “Also I think you are both adorable.”

He just watched amazed by my reasoning, thinking I was just gonna say it was because they both use swords and are dorks, but no it was like I had thought about this alot. “I-i- Wow, you’ve thought about that a lot haven’t you?” he asked with a light blush.

I smiled up at him. “ Yeah I have, you have been through a lot and I'm proud of you for it. Now the most important question, what character am I?” I asked, trying to see his brain work.

“Oh definitely Bait.” He said confidently as I looked at him in shock.

“Excuse me, I just gave a college dissertation level speech on why I think you are a handsome swordsman, and all I get is a toad.” I said sitting up and turning to fully face him.

“Well yeah you are both adorable when you’re grumpy, both love shiny things, and you have a massive sweet tooth.” He said, defending his choice, reaching to try and pull back to lay with him. I begrudgingly layed back down resting my head on his chest, I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders as he placed a kiss to the top of my head. “Now shush, one of your favorite moments is coming up.”

I just nodded and snuggled closer to his side as I turned to watch as general Amya accidentally ruined her own engagement. I always find it funny, like yeah I get wanting to propose in a flashy way but seriously. Amya is a high ranked general who doesn't seem like someone who enjoys random surprises, what else would you expect to happen ambushing her with what look like flaming whips. I chuckled at the scene before closing my eyes, just enjoying the time I get to spend cuddling Yuta. I whispered a quiet “I Love you” as I drifted off to sleep.

Right as I let sleep take over, I heard Yuta respond with his “I love you too” before we both feel asleep to the sounds of dragons, elves, and magic.

[wayfayrr]

I first have to say that since I’ve only played Botw, some of totk, and maybe half of twilight, idk the other Links except for how people write them in fanfics and LU, so if my reason for each one doesn’t make sense, sorry!

1. Twilight - calm country boy but won’t accept being taken advantage of, also deeply cares about his friends and family (of the Links, he reminds me most of one of my best friends)

2. Four - also calm, logical, in fanfics is usually the only one holding the group’s singular brain cell lol (I’m a very logical person as opposed to emotional)

3. Sky - mother of the group, very sweet and loving (reminds me of my other best friend, but both Sky and my best friend can be a little too serious bc of this trait, I like to make jokes and mess around sometimes)

4. Tears - I think he’s a little less chaotic than Wild, I say a LITTLE lol, but idk, he can drive things so that’d help with traveling because I don’t like walking too much, but seeing scenery while flying would be pretty cool

5. Hyrule - most of the fanfics portray him as a very shy timid follower, and while I don’t want someone to dominate me in r relationship, I also don’t want to dominate, I need to have someone who can take charge but doesn’t boss me around

6. Wild - kinda already explained this one, ik he also has horses we could ride but still

7. Legend - his sense of humor being sarcasm is the same as me, I love sarcasm, I once said to someone “my sarcasm makes up for the whole population”, but while r senses of humor would be the same, I can’t see us working that well in a relationship, his abrasiveness is a lot and I’d rather have someone who’s softer and can cuddle with me w/o having to pretend it’s the worst thing ever bc eww feelings

8. Warriors - ik he has a soft side but his very flirtatious and arrogant personality would absolutely clash w me, it would turn me off immediately

Time and Wind excluded bc of age

If u want/have the time, I’d love to hear ur reasons for each one!

🐰

sorry I didn't put up the reasons on the og post, I kinda completely missed that bit 😅 but yeah there are reasons for why I've ranked them as such

1 - sky (literally no matter what au) He's insanely caring about people that he's close to, but can also be pretty snarky and rude. He and I have pretty similar senses of humor plus he's really loyal and honest to people he wants to keep close. (also I see him the most as being ace and even if I hc the others as such it just fits him the best IMO and idk if I would want to date any more allos after my experiences fbvsbfbvs)

2 - Twilight soft! country! boy!!!!! He's loyal to a T and is just so warm cuddly and oh I do love him so - I think he'd be number one for compatibility if it wasn't for my fear of dogs lmao

3 - tears I mean, besides him being like wild but more interested in technology and with more ability to cook? also I wanna help him dye his hair because that would be so fun :3

4 - wild I often get told that I'm him irl (personality and action-wise), so I hope that'd translate into us getting along? I like being outdoors and we could probably bond over eating rocks tbh

5 - hyrule soft fae boyyyyyyy, he's so sweet but I don't think I could move around as much as he does, he's none stop compared to wild.

6 - warriors So, this is more for canon and how other people see him rather than my own hcs (my hcs actually bumping him up from dead last surprisingly) he's usually shown as a playboy and knowing people in most places he goes while flirting with people to get things for reduced prices and I have pretty bad trust issues! I would wouldn't want to date him if he was showing interest in others while with me <3 also his arrogance would make me shutdown and not interact with him sdvsf

7 - four So while I don't mind being with someone shorter than me, I would like to be with someone a close height to mine whether that be a bit shorter or taller. the line is drawn when he barely makes it to my elbow when we're both standing. Plus I think our personalities simply match better to be friends rather than romantically, I could see myself being good friends with him - just no romance

8 - legend Idk I just don't think I would ever want to date him tbh, I see him as more compatible with a friend of mine and that's partly why too - I wouldn't want to nab him from her <3

[acaciapines]

Your nanowrimo pieces are soooo goooood they hit so hard fr fr. I’m especially LOVING today’s one with the owl & the collector even tho I don’t rlly know that much abt toh bc I haven’t watched it but I can tell that u LOVE IT & I can’t wait to learn more thru osmosis once the fic is poooosteeeed✨ (i WILL read it i PROMISE i SWEAR)

Anyways give us the thoughts, the tea, tell us how you make the words do that✨ anything u wanna give in regards to today’s bit!! We’re not picky!

Hope y’all are doing okay! Gal says hi :) Remember to eat and drink something, take breaks, and look after yourselves and each other! We love you! This has been a Daily Interaction Ask <3

he he :3 im glad youre enjoying!! its been really fun to pick out my favorite bits even when usually those are the ones w/out context lol. look at my owl and weep boy. firefly <3

YOU WILL LEARN SO MUCH VIA OSMOSIS....literally now that im also doing something for s1 its like. why watch owl house we have owl house at home (the owl house at home is a 1 million word daemon au) (<- 1 mil is not a joke btw idk if it'll hit it but itll at least come very close. no idk why i did this.)

as for today! hmmm...

its truly so fun to write the collector. like im not joking about him being my favorite owl house character despite his maybe twenty total minutes of screentime, so its been such a JOY to expand his role in this series!!

bc like. god. actually i think i wrote a whole like. bit of flash fiction/prose poetry type thing for them a while ago. probably in my files somewhere. but just. youre an immortal eight year old. you are in these years where you need to interact with other people for your own mental stability and health. to figure out the whole Being A Person thing. and you are trapped for like, centuries. trapped away from everyone and everything and DUST, which, in universe, in literally connection personified. you're cut off from all of this.

and you are, let me say again, eight years old.

truly the collector is just. hes had everyone he ever cares about leave him--his siblings the other archivists left him behind not out of any sense of cruelty, really, but because caring about people just isnt really a thing they do. quite frankly they live so long they didnt even notice. theyre far-away stars. not far because they're mean. just because thats what stars do.

and then king's dad (who um. doesnt have a name <3 this is why the collector calls him 'the big bully' its literally bc i never gave him a name--) was an adult the collector actually trusted and looked up to (he meshed REALLY WELL into titan society until the archivists started Doing A Murder since titans are the only beings that match them in power and they have very very different ideas about dust). like ive said before the collector is owlbeastkin but before that they never had a super stable sense of identity--in another world where they stayed w/ the titans they wouldve ended up a titan.

and then king's dad just. trapped him in a tablet forever.

and like, to be fair to king's dad he was reacting out of fear and the best knowledge he had (he assumed the collector led the archivists to the titans, and like, he did, but its not like he knew he was doing that, and, you know, poor guy had seen a huge chuck of his fellow titans killed including babies and eggs of which he had an egg to consider), but it still TRAPPED THEM. and then he died and so did all the rest of the titans so nobody could free the collector even if they wanted to.

and then BELOS, who manipulated and lied to the collector for so long and was also literally his only friend after being alone forever, so like, of course the collector just blindly went along with whatever he said. he was gonna free them!! he listened to them when they talked about stardust which nobody else ever did! he had no idea what the fuck a witch was! he just liked being able to see the stardust sometimes, and belos brought him to places with a lot of stardust. to destroy it, but like--you know. it was THERE.

but all these people were just USING them, and they never really understand that until king comes around. and king's also a scared eight year old!! but like. king's also not wrong. the collector did aid belos in destroying the entire isles. like no joke belos SUCCEEDS here. like not long-term obvi this has a happy ending but at the point we're in at for the future? it doesnt matter that the draining spell failed. all the palistrom trees are dead. witch society Cannot come back from that even if they did end up beating the collector. theyre doomed.

anyways what was i saying. collector. right.

so like, then they meet firefly/grr-click-growl/wings-across-night/the owl beast (king of having so many names i love her <3) and shes like, the first person who cares for them and ISNT using them. even king is using them!! but firefly has seen Some Shit. she sees the collector as a hatchling who was kicked out of his nest and is doing her best to be some sort of stable figure for him, but she doesnt Not see the stuff he's done.

the collector took over the world bc he's scared--all he's ever known is being used and trapped so he doesnt exactly trust most people easily. firefly would Love to not be in this world anymore. shes also got a loyalty to eda and king and luzmari. and, like, cool motive, still trapping an entire society of people.

but like. shes the one who is here right now and nobody else is trying to help this kid.

but the collector just. hes just an eight year old. a very, very old eight year old. but he doesnt understand things like "you can make the wrong choices and still choose to do better later" and "im mad at what you did but that doesnt mean i dont care about you."

he just sees someone upset with him. just sees another person who used him and doesnt care and is going to leave bc everyone leaves him and in a world where EVERY SINGLE PERSON comes in pairs, hes the only one who stands alone.

basically tl;dr: collector my beloved <3

[stellewriites]

twenty questions for fic writers 🫡

thanks for the tag @syoddeye!

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

50

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

699,806

3. what fandoms do you write for?

oh god, ongoing or previous too?? uhm currently batfam, star wars, cod, st - but i’ve had a few extra that i used to write for too

4. top five fics by kudos

i’m not linking them all bc some are,,,, far from my best work. also can u tell i love a long lyric title?

if you can’t give me all, give me nothing ; memorise the way you make me feel ; the way you move like you do ; i’m addicted to the way i feel when i think of you ; took the words right out of my mouth

5. do you respond to comments?

literally every single one,, before getting this account back a few months ago it was the only way i interacted w people in the fandoms so 🤷‍♀️ sometimes it might take a week tho but i try to be quick

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don’t tend to do angst endings? like even in darker angsty fics i usually twist it so it’s like dubcon happy at the end 🥴🥴 sooo maybe either no grave can hold my body down or can i steal a kiss or two? or even choices made in anger

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

liiiiiterally any other fic i’ve ever written lmao

8. do you get hate on fics?

not often? BUT i usually do fluff fics and when i started dabbling in darker stuff that’s when i got more hate - specifically on one fic in particular

9. do you write smut?

yeah! not all the time but maybe 65%

10. craziest crossover:

i dont really do crossovers but my last mando fic was inspired by justified if that counts?

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of,, again im not very online to be able to know :/

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

yeah! just one but now i dont do it,, learning curve for me

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

almost when i was first starting out writing 6 years back but it fell through - katy if ur still out there i hope ur enjoying life <3

14. all time favorite ship?

ffffuckkkkkk i don’t think i can choose bc i dip in and out so often but i do tend to always come back to jaytim? they’re my for lifers i think but soap x reader is a close second atm

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i’ll always finish my wips bc i can’t stand to see them unfinished,, but it’s been like three years since i first said i was going to write my sci-fi dystopian jaytim fic and im still not past the first paragraph :/

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i’m good at dialogue and catching accents and nailing personalities pretty quick,,

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i’m so fucking slow. if nothing else, watching people write for cod on here has shown me how quick everyone else seems to be able to write :’)

and also with longer fics i’ve gotten into the (bad) habit of leaving out like integral details that i assume the reader will just know bc ive been too in my own head about it all and ive forgotten what i’ve established already; leads to decisions looking like they’ve come out of nowhere or random personality changes

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

i’ve attempted it but i have to google translate it so i try to keep it to a minimum and ask for correction in the comments. sometimes i do it italicised but written in english so readers can understand that it’s meant to be another language but dont have to skip to the bottom notes or another tab to understand what’s being said

19. first fandom you wrote in?

teen wolf 🥴

20. favorite fic you've written?

idk if i’ve got a favourite,, in hindsight a lot of the ones i think about most fondly are the ones that absolutely killed me off when writing so i’ve got real rose tinted glasses about them all. however these are few that should get honourable mentions just because i like them and they didn’t pop up earlier

whew this was long i think i yapped ontoo much lmao but it was so fun!!

no pressure tags: @glossysoap @mikichko @kyletogaz @femalefemur @sentientcave @gemmahale @madstronaut and anyone else who wants to give it a go!!

[baeshijima]

hey *winks* bet you didn’t expect this 😜

KICKS DOWN YOUR DOOR FOR THE THIRD TIME !!! 🦵🚪 tis i, sleepy nonnie >:) i have come to collect your snippets to eat them— i mean appreciate their beauty 🙇‍♀️✨ yes, yes … i would never dare consume such marvelous work … it is simply preposterous to even imagine such an act coming from my person, hm 🍵

did i get you to laugh btw be honest. i was going to be normal and simply send an ask from my actual account only for my brain to give me the most genius idea ever of creating another blog with the most unassuming appearance ever just for giggles !!! imagine if i were an actual beer belly dad who lives in his basement. unfortunately that is not the case, i am simply a 17 year old FEMALE with no beer belly & my house doesn’t even have a basement. booooo 🍅 apologies for those who believed i was …… i can’t believe this username was still available HAHAHA

anyway, hi sophie!!! you’re probably wondering … 🤔💭 who is sleep nonnie really?? i am here to answer your questions ^_^ firstly — my actual account is ( @kurogira ) but i interact from ( @quilthaven ) & my name is actually vessa, not … realbeerbellydad 😔😔 secondly, GODDD I LOVE YOUR PROSE SO BAD !!!! anaxa… THE DIALOGUE IS SO !!! HIM !!! I CAN HEAR HIM SAYING THOSE THINGS. YOU’RE SO TALENTED. he’s so stupid im in love with him i need to throw him into a blender and turn him into juice 🧃 *slurp*

KING MYDEIMOS !!! i just thought of every one of my moots that absolutely adores him & i’ll be sure to show them your fic once you’re done i’m 100000% sure they’re gonna love it 💗💗 ( unless they find it first… very possible. i know a lot of ppl who are big fans of your work, myself included!! )

i hope the reveal was good, hehe ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧ i am very comfortable around u & your blog so doing this wasn’t as nerve-wracking as i thought it’d be !! getting to talk to you after following you for such a long time had a rly positive impact on me and i don’t regret it one bit :3 i shall use my actual blog to send asks here from now on YIPPEE

THE SCREAM I SCREAMT OMG ????? realbeerbellydad... did u know i am ur biggest fan? ur beer belly really stood out to me the moment i saw u and i couldnt look away from there on...

no but actually the laugh i had for the past few minutes when i clocked that this wasnt a bot and actually u 😭😭 sleepy nonnie, or rather vessa i should be saying now (😏) u are so funny i think im in love ..... but also this reveal lowk reminds me of this one tweet i saw a while ago where op got a message from an account with an american dad as its pfp and the descriptor as smth like "making my four sons into manly men" OR SMTH LIKE THAT when it was actually a 19 (i think) yr old girl and she was dming op abt a kpop group/upcoming concert they were both going to and it was so funny she even sent voice notes to prove she wasnt an american dad with 4 sons 😭😭

ANYWAY !! HI NEW MOOTIE VESSA IM SO EXCITED TO FINALLY /MEET/ U !!!!! hehe i followed both accounts (so it can actually show the mutual title in notes 눈_눈) and like both pinned posts 🙂‍↕️ u will always be realbeerbellydad in my heart 🫶 AND AAAAAA TYSM ?????? sobsob im glad the dialogue feels natural and like him ;w;; the amount of times i kept going "he would not speak like this." and "no he would in these circumstances..." and changing what he said 😭 and ur so right we do need to put him in a blender and turn him into juice !! get ur greens in for the day 😌

hehe KING MYDEIMOS <33 no bc the way this is the second time ive now written for king mydei... spoils of war i am looking at u and how i somehow got his personality pretty close to canon pre 3.0...... omg all mydei kissers rise \^o^/ and thats such an honour 🥹 hehe im happy u enjoy my fics and want to share them like oughhh my heart......

the reveal was amazing. spectacular. 10000000000/10. changed the trajectory of my life. stop vessa thats literally so sweet what if i exploded and made the world cave in on itself :(( i shall be awaiting to see vessa in my inbox and expect me in ur inbox soon >:]

[jackandjoker]

spare me your mercy ramblings // (spoilers)

took me a week or two to finish the 1st ep bc it’s too gorgeous and i cannot binge rn AAAAH (but i did anyway.)

the cinematography!!! the most gorgeous cinematography ever OMGGG

AND THE ACTING!!!! gosh it’s so beautiful to watch. as much as i love gmmtv and their shows, watching other companies stuff makes me realise how some of their actors need to improve a lottt. i still eat their shit up but it’s true

so we’ve already established that kan is the one who ‘killed’ tew’s mother right? and i dont think all these terminally ill patients all under the care of dr kan dying so close to e/o is helping his case

fire or not he cant be stupid enough to leave a syringe on there?? also why was the patient freaking out then? huh

feel very bad for tew ngl 😭

kan ur not fooling anyone. maybe tew a little bit but yeah

the nurse is in on it but no one else? i suspected the autopsy doc but apparently not & even the director but again, nope

i did NOT see director & boss coming but okay wow.

OH THE DIRECTOR KNEW THE PROFESSOR LIKE THAT OHHHHH makes sense

also the cops are very stupid yo but then again makes sense

HOW did boss kill the director if he was in love w him ?&:&(:&( also the ‘i’m not gay’ part ?? so he was doing all that for money/job? i would really like to search if im missing smth but i dont want spoilers

the nurse is starting to ):&:: IDK its getting weird

OH ALSO dr kan did not kill the tent man and i don’t think he’s the one who killed the lesbian lady either because both of them fought back. this wasnt the case w zapa. (sorry im bad w names)

miss nurse HOW LONG WERE U IN THERE FOR 😭😭😭 and it’s very stupid to be in a possible killers house w no way out or no escape plan or backups. gawd

the romance is romancing but also not. they have fucked i think but they just didn’t show it? idc but a kiss on the hand would suffice for me to show atleast that they’re in fact in love.

its giving me very heart killers core except both of them are fooling e/o but i guess in that way they fell for e/o too? i wont be surprised if dr kan was interested in wasan from the beginning bc of how close he was w wasans mom but he definitely got into this relationship to deceive wasan and wasan matched his freak to deceive him right back lol. made for each other

OH THAT HUG😭😭 and kans tears oh my god ssjsnsn

oh they havent fucked? or by ‘sharing a bed’ did tew mean just sleeping. 😭

oh boss is gonna kill som isnt he 😭 saw it coming ever since the police talked abt it on the phone

they have definitely fucked THEYRE SO CUTE ??&/& i need more of this. an hour of them being cute

does boss have a crush on kan. i suspected it but now i suspect even more

okay boss is definitely traumatised. something is very wrong. but tbe preview for ep 7 !?₹):.&:₹&::

so in ep 7 tew finally finds out that kan is the one who ‘killed’ his mother… and kan gets shot? right? or something else happens idk. i cant watch tbe next 2 episodes rn so ahh pain

oh ueah boss is. traumatised. in one of the worst ways possible. this explains everything he did

wow he’s been following kan for so long 😭 the first person who understood him w/o even actually interacting w him

so wasan was questioning boss… and not tew. so he still doesn’t know AAAA omg gotta go watch ep 8

the blue hydrangeas!:&:&: im not completely sure of this but wasnt this the same flower that was in tew’s moms hair? when she died? which i guess dr kan put it there? if so. oh my god

ALSO THE hand lip kiss !!!! i think this is the closest we’re gonna get to an actual kiss BUT IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL I DIED oh i love when tew smiles i wish he’d smile more but i know whats coming

the blue hydrangea in the end, actually throughout the episode but especially the end. oh gosh

the entire scene of the confession. both with rin and with tew. the hug. the ‘will you confess, doctor?’ ‘if it’s you asking.’  i cant

the ‘i love you, doctor’ being the last scene?? u want me to die!!!3₹:&:&:

actually i understand them in a way no one else does it’s true 100%

another 5/5 show. youve done it again thailand

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

HAPPY FUCKING SUNDAY MY LITTLE IRIS!!! I HOPE THE SUN IS SHINING AND THE BRAIN IS BRAINING MWAHHH i am here to present you another silly little tiktok hehehe u mentioned nikolai as one of your blorbos so this was JUST RIGHT it made me laugh... maybe a bit too much........... i hope u enjoy LOVE U

https://www.tiktok.com/@pencil.slipped/video/7331589407524408618

- @softgirlgonehaywire

HELLOOOOOOO MY LOVELY SUNFLOWER happy. monday ….. almost tuesday …… hey hey did u know that sunflowers turn to face each other when there isn’t any sunlight around??? idk if that’s true it’s just smth i heard ISN’T IT SO SWEET THOUGH :(((( they’re so cute i’m weeping……

PHDJDJFUFJ THE TIKTOK???? MICKEY????? 😭😭😭😭 thank u it broke me a little i think OK BUT THEY WOULD GET ALONG WOULDN’T THEY…. gojo has a thing for murderous meowmeows <333 nikolai is one of those blorbos that i havent actually Met yet but i know a bit abt him and i love him oh so much….. i also have the biggest weakness for jester-inspired characters so i simply can’t resist him :’3 i am nomnoming the nikolai content thank u my dearest mickey for ur tribute

ALSOOOO i’m using this ask as an opportunity to respond to ur other letter hehe :33 i have a lot to say sadly i’m also scatterbrained & sleepy but i’m gonna try to remember everything !!! rubbing my three remaining braincells together just for u <33

ok first off some ari lore … my fave season is autumn w summer close behind BUT since spring is ur favorite we can have a spring wedding <33 in knight!reader’s honour too!!!! they’ll be there somewhere… lurking…… sunbathing……. the meowmeow of all time

AND AND when it comes to coffee and tea i’m not picky!! i love them both!!! no matter what kind!!! i like any and all coffee combos, just depends on my mood it’s the caffeine addiction i think but my overall preference is probably black w just a lil bit of cream <333 it has to be super duper hot bc lukewarm coffee makes me deeply uncomfortable (super duper cold is fine though!!) and i love love tea i couldn’t live w/o it…… my only pref is that i like to pour some cream in my black tea, and some honey in herbal tea :33 WHAT ABT U MICKEY I HAVE TO KNOW the signals in my brain tell me u like cold coffee more than warm coffee….. but i don’t even know if u drink coffee at all…… ALSO I NEED TO KNOW UR FAV KIND OF TEA i’ll make it for u in my brain every morning 🙏🙏

moving on to until dawn ARI/MICKEY GOING STRONG AS ALWAYS ashley is my least favorite character 😳😳 i just feel like everyone else is sooo girlypop or silly or at least a lil queer but she’s just kinda There……… for the chris romance………. and ofc i can’t forgive the emily slander!!!! we need to protect our wife mickey :((( nobody gets her like we do i fear

AND AAAA A REMAKE !!! WAITTTT THAT’S SO EXCITING MORE INTERACTIONS TOO…… ok but screaming while playing it was soooo real of u if i ever played it on my own i fear i wouldn’t survive AND THE SOUNDTRACKS!!!! god mickey i just remembered i still haven’t listened to the ones u recommended before :’33 i have them all written down so trust that i’ll get to them hehe BUT THESE ONES….. gosh i’m a little enamored w them….,, the theme from the lighthouse is soooo atmospheric i can practically taste the Vibe of it all…… it’s the kind of theme that would give me immense anxiety if i watched the movie LMAO but it’s somehow so pretty too yk??? the murky sea vibe…. AND THE THEME FROM THE WITCH goshhhh it’s genuinely so bewitching pun intended IT’S SO ENCHANTING???? just so vivid…. i alr know his work for until dawn is gonna make everything sooo much more intense and authentic i’m so excited mickey …… when u play it u gotta post abt it so i can feel included PHDKDBDJDB

ANYWAY BSD YAY YAY :3333 i feel like u mentioned having finished it all in another letter… i think i might’ve forgotten to respond to it 😔😔 forgive me and my scatterbrained tendencies KNOWING U ENJOYED IT MAKES ME SOOO EXCITED i’m a little afraid that i’ll fall out of my perpetual jjk phase if i watch anything else but literally the MOMENT i start watching bsd again i’m running over to ur blanket fort!!! i’m so excited to compare favs and moments we like hehe…. nikolai is just so sillyyy and i was really moved by that One panel where he takes off his mask and tells atsushi that he’s perfectly sane i must’ve been like 15 when i first saw it??? blew my mind i think it kinda set the tone for the villains i enjoy now … nikolai crawled so kenny could sprint… etc etc……. silly little queer villains who don’t remember what regret feels like anymore <3333

ALSO MICKEY u like tecchou right….. obv i don’t know much abt either one yet but i alr love jouno a lot!! once again we’re the duo of all time >:33 AND MANNNNN….. if u ever start writing for bsd just know i’ll be the first in line to eat it up !! i just know ur dazai would be the most lovesick catcoded little trainwreck ever 🥺🥺 an image of prince!dazai just flooded my brain oh no

one last thing!!!! before i forget!!!!! a little birdie told me that u started reading no longer human….. 👀👀👀 and what u said abt the mc being autistic made me think of another existentialist book where the mc is commonly interpreted as being a sociopath or something similar but he’s Literally Just Autistic. to me. there’s lots of room for interpretation but the coding is very much there … might not be very good rep because he does kill a guy lmao but i love him he means the world to me :((( the book is ”the stranger” by albert camus btw it’s short and u can read it online here i ADORE camus’ style of writing sm…. the vibe of it all….. the main themes are isolation + what it means to be human and. idk it just really really moved me… esp the very last line…. :c it’s very dear to me!! would highly recommend hehe

ok that’s all i think…, i always worry that i forgot to mention something or comment on something hhhh my brain really is just . a bit scattered all the time T_T BUT ILY MICKEY thank u for always checking in my sunniest little flower i hope u have dreams so sweet u wake up smiling <33333 pressing many tiny kisses on ur nose and cheeks and forehead mwah mwah mwah