#u alway choose peggy

[pxgeturner]

what the fuck… what the fuck :(… this was written so so well but argh it hurts! 💔

🪽— 𝐒𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐱

summary. | Steve Rogers is a good man. You’re a good woman. Emotional affairs are harder than they seem.

pairings. | Steve Rogers x fem!reader, Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter, fem!reader x OMC (brief), Peggy Carter x Daniel Sousa

warnings. | ANGST, light smut, allusions to sex, cheating, emotional affairs, pregnancy (not the reader), crying, bad family, sadness, age gap, power dynamics (boss x employee), Christmas, heavy petting, kissing, broken vase (accidentally), sadness, drinking, smoking, nightmares, mild argument, and more. 18+ MINORS DNI!

word count. | ~2.5k

author's note. | hi! i'm sort of back. i'm very sorry for my hiatus. here's a new fic! this is based on the lyrics from Phoebe Bridgers' Savior Complex, which is one of my favourite songs of all time. let me know what you think! taglist: @hansensfics. i might delete this one, but please don’t save it or upload it anywhere. thanks! MINORS DNI! 18+ ONLY!

He’s your boss. You work directly under him.

He isn’t bossy. Really, it’s an issue. Every time he gives you a task, he says ‘sorry’ first and finishes the order with another apology. You tell him he doesn’t have to apologize, but you’ve got the same problem as well. It’s always atonement for something you haven’t even done. You wouldn’t hurt a fly unless it hurt him.

Mr. Rogers is very nice. He has a secret office that he lets you stay in whenever you want. There’s a couch from one country and a desk from another. Each item is foreign in this room.

You’re always so tired, but he tells you to avoid caffeine. He gives you a blanket and tells you to lie down. You listen at first but can never relax. Not when you know he’ll be alone.

The honesty was a mistake at first. Mr. Rogers is so sensitive that he feels what you feel. He knows you so well that if something’s wrong, he’ll bother you until confession. You tell him almost anything, biting your tongue when you know you get too close to baring your entire soul.

The male friend of yours who keeps asking you out. The exams you study for to no avail. Your parents’ absence. Mr. Rogers—Steve, he insists—is a good listener and very wise. It makes sense. He’s much older than you and was on his own adventures when you were born.

The adventures are where he met his wife. Her name is Margaret, and she’s everything you aren’t. She’s headstrong and beautiful beyond words. She’s good with numbers and brilliant. She knows what she wants and will stop at nothing to get them.

Peggy is a real keeper. The wedding rings on their fingers prove this well.

Nothing more than a few kisses and caresses have intertwined you and Steve. Nothing physical, at least.

You’re quiet around him. Never say anything more than a sentence. You shy away when your eyes met, especially if he says something sweet.

Words take up the space as you grow closer. Steve is particularly good with words, whereas you often stutter and blend words together.

And sometimes, there is complete silence. It’s contentful. He replies to emails, and you sort through the pile of mess in the corner.

You tell him your dreams, and he tells you the ones he’s already fulfilled. What he studied in school, his family, his friends, his favourite country he’s been to. Nothing about Peggy—neither of you can bear it.

Unless she’s done something that’s hurt his feelings—like when she swears she doesn’t talk to Daniel Sousa anymore, but he hears them calling late at night.

Sometimes, Steve talks for so long that it gets dark, and your shift is over. He pays you extra—or, at least, tries to. You never take the money because nothing was lost. You enjoy the little time you have with him.

He takes you home, wanting you to avoid walking down the street in the pitch-black evening.

His car is a mess—the same as his office. He apologizes sincerely and pushes everything in the front seat to the back. The directions consist of “take a left” and “keep going straight.” You assume he’ll forget it. You don’t know how much this means to him.

Steve stays parked outside your building when you rush to your room. You live on the bottom floor and are right by the entrance. You’re a movie’s heroine when you throw yourself on your bed and giggle, butterflies filling your stomach.

He is something. The scriptwriter has Steve’s dialogue under his name but with “CHARACTER: TBA” in parentheses. No one knows if the film will be completed. No one knows how it will end.

Mr. Rogers stays parked outside, forehead resting against his steering wheel, and he’s trying to get a hold of his nerves.

Eventually, he grabs his pack of cigarettes that he always hides from Peggy. She often reminds him of his mother—without the sagacity. She tells Steve what he should or shouldn’t do a lot. He hasn’t lived since he breathed you in.

He smokes with the windows up, tears flowing down his face because he knows this can’t happen. He cannot betray his wife, but he doesn’t want to hurt you.

Steve comes to you on a starry night. You can see the moon and something else twinkling through the trees, and he rings your doorbell.

When you open the door, he’s a large man cowering like a small child. He wants to cry—you can tell. His mouth is in a frown that won’t disappear, and his eyes are glassy.

He’s drunk when he practically falls on top of you. He is slurring apologies that you know are unnecessary. His breath smells of whiskey, and he’s very heavy. You’ve fantasized about him on top of you during restless sleeps, but not quite like this.

Somehow, you crawl out from underneath the older, married man. You know it would be fruitless to lift Steve up, so you drag him to your bedroom.

You keep the door to the bathroom open and bring a bucket as well. The water on your bedside table is his now, and so is the charger and landline. Anything he wants of yours, he can have. He doesn’t even have to ask.

It’s hard to sleep when the one you desire so profoundly is in your bed, sadder than he should be. He drifts off with ease, but he’s violent in his tossing and turning. He shines with sweat and tears, soaking your sheets with his scent. You’re not sure if you’ll wash them. It’s a nightmare you can’t rouse him from, one that you don’t dare to ask him about the next morning.

Steve must’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed. It’s small, too small for his big being. Or maybe it’s his hangover—perhaps even hunger. You offer to make whatever, but he grumbles.

He’s not sure why he’s taking his disappointment out on you. He wasn’t trying to test you, but you should’ve turned him away. You should’ve told him to go back home to his wife with her expected child inside her womb, but you don’t know this terrible secret. If you did, it would tear you apart from the inside out. This, he knows, for sure.

Mr. Rogers doesn’t say much to you in the morning, drinking two cups of coffee and staring out the window. You sit across him, and he looks past your face—the very visage he can never seem to tear his eyes away from.

“You shouldn’t have let me stay,” he finally says.

“Why not?” you ask, “you came here yourself. I could never turn you away.”

“You need to. You need to go out and, I don’t know, spend time with boys your age. Boys who don’t have wives or girlfriends they won’t leave you for.”

You flinch as if he’s raised one of his gentle hands.

Steve sighs. “That’s not what I meant. I think the lines between us have blurred. We’re not doing the right thing here, honey.”

You can’t look up, can’t face him. You wish this wasn’t the topic. You wish he had told you about his dream instead, and you would have told him yours. The one where he leaves you, the one where he gets his happy ever after with Peggy, and you get nothing.

He gives you a kiss on the head and bids you goodbye. You’re happy you have a day off tomorrow.

It’s almost Christmas, about two weeks since the conversation. Steve tries to make things seem normal. Normal in the sense that he hasn’t made his employee fall hopelessly in love with him. Then, normal in the sense that Peggy doesn’t exist, and he can still keep you in his arms until a customer comes in.

You go on dates with your guy friend like Mr. Rogers has insisted, but they’re unfulfilling. He often prefers to stay home and rent a movie, followed by sloppy kisses and dry humping that is unsatisfactory for only you.

“You don’t have to go out with only him,” Steve reminds you one day. You’re in his lap and he’s just finished reading through his entire diary with you. Most pages are about the employee he’s infatuated with, few are about his wife.

“I know. I just don’t want anyone else but you,” you tell him.

Moments later, his mouth is on your neck and his hand is up your skirt. You’re just about to come when a delivery man walks in, calling your boss’ name.

The shop is closed for a week, and your father has invited you to visit him and his new family. Your step-sisters are older and runway-ready. They have wonderful jobs and husbands that aren’t seeing women younger than them.

It’s like a closed practice. An event you can only watch from afar. You have no place here, even if your stepmother cleaned the guest room for you. You book a new plane ticket so you can go home early. You don’t make an excuse because they don’t even ask why; they just bid you goodbye.

You land at a horrible hour. There are too many taxis that families need—families trying to have a nice, hurt-free holiday.

And so you call Steve, and he answers on the first ring.

“Hello?” he greets, and you can sense some kind of anxiety in his voice.

“Um, hi. Happy holidays,” you tell him, nervous beyond belief as well.

His voice is smooth like honey, crooning in your frost-bitten ear.

“Happy holidays, baby,” he says. Peggy isn’t nearby.

“Uh, I’m at the airport. I was with my dad’s family, but I left. I don’t know how to get home. All the taxis are taken up.”

“I’m on my way, okay? Just sit tight, sweetie.”

“Thank you,” you exhale, “thank you so much, Steve.”

“Anything for my girl.”

When he arrives, he finds a place to quickly park. He takes your sole suitcase out of your hands and presses a chaste kiss to your lips.

It’s sudden.

Mr. Rogers—your boss, a married man—is kissing you like you’re his only lover. Like he’s your boyfriend, and he’s missed you dearly.

You lean in for more, and he pulls away. Smiling, he opens the car door for you.

He takes the long way home, the ones with few cars driving alongside.

“I didn’t know you left,” he eventually says.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. It was a last-minute thing.”

“No, no. Don’t apologize. I went to your place to say ‘hi,’ but no one was home.”

“I should’ve told you. I really am sorry,” you profess.

Steve places a finger on your mouth, shushing you. His hand moves to cup your cheek, and you push your face further into his palm.

“Thank you for picking me up,” you whisper, looking at him intently.

“I’m glad you called me. I missed you. I would do anything for you.”

You say nothing to that. You turn the radio on and the last song is one you recommended to him. You both hum the lyrics until it ends, and he turns it off.

“I always enjoy it when you drive me,” you confess after a while.

“Oh yeah? Why?” he smiles.

“You’re careful. You don’t go too fast or slow. You know what you’re doing. You’re such a pro at it,” you explain, slightly self-conscious of your reasoning.

“That all?” Steve teases, raising his eyebrows.

“Hm… No… I love your hands.” You giggle.

“Yeah? I know you do, baby. Always starin’ at them. I bet you think of them touching you all the time,” he rasps, briefly letting go of the wheel to rub at his beard.

You squeeze your thighs, mind already turning with scenarios where Steve touches you like a starved man.

His hand on your face moves back to your mouth, thumb swiping your bottom lip before pushing in. You suck on the digit, giving it the treatment you would to his cock. When you reach out to touch him, the car suddenly halts.

He stops on the side of the road, eyes watering. Regret etches his features, and you know what’s to come.

“We can’t,” Steve says, pulling his finger out. “Not yet, at least.”

“I know” is all you have to give.

Peggy visits the store in early March. Underneath her shirt is a small baby bump.

When you see it, your heart stops.

Steve brushes past you to lead her away, examining your face for hurt. You’re behind the shelves and watch the couple, your mouth parted with your eyes threatening to leak. You turn and head towards the back, choosing to hide somewhere so you can fall apart in solitude.

Mr. Rogers watches as you leave. He wishes you would look back and give him something, anything. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He wasn’t supposed to hurt you this way. But he did, and he will try to make it right.

Peggy leaves eventually, and Steve closes the store early. He searches for you, listening for a sniffle or movement.

You sit on the floor, a broken vase next to you. He quickly nudges the debris away so you don’t get hurt.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he says, looking down at you. You look up, eyes bloodshot, and you stare at him with something he can’t place. He envelopes you in a hug, and you can feel his erratic heart clamouring against your face.

“Come with me to the office, please,” Steve begs.

You shake your head.

“You ask too much of me, Steve. You have a wife and an innocent child on the way. We can’t keep doing this.”

“No, no. Please, just come. Please, honey,” he pleads once more. “At least hit me, yell at me, tell me to go fuck myself.”

“Why would I? I’m happy for you. You’re getting what you’ve always wanted.” Your voice cracks, and you force a smile. Steve sees through it all.

“No. I want you—I love you. But I don’t have you, do I? Listen, I’ll leave her. I’ll still be a good father, even though I know that’s not my kid at all. We’ll go elsewhere. Move into a nice home and do whatever we want,” he rambles.

Strong Mr. Rogers breaks apart in front of you. You take him into your arms, and you both cry together.

You’re the one that leads him to his office. You sit on the couch with him and notice that his wedding band is gone. He always wears it when Peggy comes by, but he didn’t this time.

“That night you took me in—I dreamt of you. I dreamt you weren’t mine, and you didn’t love me anymore. I messed something up and didn’t fix it. It was the worst nightmare I’ve ever had,” Steve admits.

You don’t say anything. As much as the whole ordeal hurts you, as terrible as what you’ve done to a woman and her child, you can’t let Steve go. Neither can he. It’ll have to end someday, just not now. Not yet.

[idekatthispoint-00]

Like wdym you lived in an apartment with your childhood best friend and shared one bed “to conserve heat”. And then also only go on dates when it’s a double date with him and ALSO literally go against MILKTARY ORDERS to bring said best friend from a prison camp OH AND ALSO RISK UR LIFE MULTIPLE TIMES TO SAVE HIM OH AND ALSO LEGIT TRY TO KILL YOURSELF AFTER HE DIES😭. AND ALSO SPEND 6 MONTHS LOOKING FOR HIM AFTER U FIND OUT HES ALIVE, EVEN AFTER HE TRIED TO MURDER YOU AND UR FRIENDS MULTIPLE TIMES. AND ALSO FIGHT UR OTHER FRIEND TO PROTECT HIM BECAUSE U WILL,

ALWAYS.

CHOOSE.

HIM.

(We don’t talk abt Avengers: Endgame cays he would NEVER abandon Bucky to go to Peggy. The only reason this happened was because the producers saw how much everyone shipped Stucky and knew they had to stop it.)

[imposterogers]

Out of curiosity, would you resent your best friend if they had one chance at being with the person they love, but it would mean you wouldn't see them again for...5 seconds? Or even if you never got to see them again? Would you call them a bad friend because they moved out of state or out of the country? I get that Steve comes back old, but he does come back... Hey, I don't really have skin in this game. I wanted a thundershield ending or a samsteve ending so, comparatively speaking, I feel like the stucky fans actually hit the jackpot. There is nothing that happened in Endgame that prevents Stucky (or Thundershield or Samsteve) except lack of imagination. It's fine to critique the PTB's choices, sure, but I wouldn't blame Steve for choosing to be with Peggy or cast Bucky in the role of sad best friend who isn't actually thrilled for Steve finally taking that chance that Bucky has always told Steve to take, over and over again. If you don't think Bucky is happy for Steve then we were watching very different films. It's tough when friends move away or go where you can't follow, but it doesn't make them a bad friend.

oh Lordy u really think I’m going to read all that?

[evansbby]

i swear to god id lose my absolute mind if u gave us an insight to steves actual rationalization pf his behaviour in POYT. like im so thirsty for his cocky ass to try and explain away his feelings (???) /toxic possiveness over reader WHILE having a girlfriend and apparently chasing ass.

like i cant figure out whr he found the audacity.

i need to know where reader fits in his toxic little world. what does she MEAN?!? is he going to continue his little thing with peggy?? natasha???? and meanwhile come back to reader all like im sleeping here every night though arent I? i BIT you? i KNOTTED u! why u so jealous baby? possessive over yr big bad alpha?

UGHHH WTF

i need him to just have abreakdown one day over the fact that shes never tried to even bit him back. i literally want him to lose his mind over it. because thats the one thing he cant force her to do. she literally has to CHOOSE to bite him.

in my head, hes on his knees and just total pitiful confusion: "why wont you bite me?"

and reader just looks at him, sighing, wrapped up in his arms: "Maybe thats the one thing you cant force me to do, you can force me on my knees, spread my legs, make me kiss you like I love you. But you cant make me love you, stevie, not really."

and i imagine that it somehow rocks him to his core like a slap.

ok i went a bit ahesd of myself HAHAHAHA

AHHHH I’m so glad you have so many thoughts about this fic, like this kinda stuff makes me so happy!

Okay so, parts 1 and 2 were really just about them fucking… like especially with part 1 — I didn’t write it with a sequel in mind. BUT. Part 3 will hopefully answer a lot of these questions and kind of shed more light on Steve’s personality and motives! I don’t wanna give too much away else I’ll give everything away!

I will say that poyt Steve is very much based on fuckboys I’ve known in real life. Like how you said about the audacity thing… there’s been so many times IRL where I’ve sat with my friends and we’ve been stunned bc of the literal audacity of boys/men and what they do and how they treat girls in general. Steve is just a manifestation that kind of fuckboy hehe

Also, slight spoiler but in terms of marking — it’s Steve who doesn’t want reader to mark him. Not yet. 😳🌚

Ooooh there’s so much i wanna say!!! But I think literallt the very first scene in part 3 will kind of tell you more where both Steve and reader stand in terms of their feelings. Although I always intended to have Steve’s feelings be more of a mystery — it’s from reader’s POV. She doesn’t know Steve’s feelings just yet so we don’t either haha

[buckys-black-dress]

a fine line, part one

a/n: did you really think i could control myself enough to NOT do an enemies to lovers professor!bucky fic? did you really think i have that much willpower? i fucking love this trope and it’s so cute and i definitely will be doing more of these. k bye! leave feedback if ya want, and as per usual, don’t copy/share w/o my consent! if you read this all, luv u tons <33! - ali

wc: 4.2k words

-

Walking into your office bright and early was always the worst part of your day. Not because you hated your job, or because you hated the students you taught, but because of your neighbor.

Being a college English professor was something you dreamed of since you were a young girl, and it was something that you thoroughly enjoyed doing every single day.

Even if it meant being up before 7 AM during the week. 

But something that never failed to irritate the absolute everliving fuck out of you when you walked in was Dr. James Barnes.

Dr. Barnes was an incredibly educated man. He could tell you anything about historical events. Any day, any year, any country. But there was something about him that gave off an air of arrogance and ‘I’m better than you because of all my friends in the staff.’ You only joined the English Department of the Avengers University about a year ago, but in your time there, you’ve already built a strong reputation for yourself. 

Unfortunately, you were a bit shy when it came to conversing with your coworkers. Your most prominent friends who you’ve made are Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff, the Russian Literature and Studies professors. They were the ones you gravitated to the most, naturally, and have been incredible friends since you started this job. 

While they’ve been friendly, you’ve been having a pretty difficult time breaking out of your shell. You tend not to really put yourself out there in terms of sociality because of how unfamiliar you were with the setting, but you were slowly building your confidence to truly get to know your coworkers.

Steve Rogers, one of your fellow English professors, came into your classroom on this gloomy, early Monday morning with a cup of coffee in both hands.

“Mornin, Dr. Y/L/N.” Steve says while placing your cup on your desk, taking a fine morning?” He asks, breaking into a grin.

Steve was contagious when it came to his happiness and uplifting mood, and you matched his smile with one of your own.

“I’m just peachy, Professor Rogers. How was your weekend?” You ask, opening your laptop and reaching for your lesson binder. 

“It was actually really nice. I got my grading and planning for the week done last week so I got to spend time with the fiancée.” He smiles, leaning back in his chair. 

“Oh, how nice! What’s her name again...? I keep forgetting, forgive me.” You laugh, failing to recall the name of Steve’s beloved.

“No worries, Y/L/N.” Steve laughs at your aloofness, “it’s Peggy. She actually works as a military strategist.” He says with a proud smile, which you took notice of rather quickly. 

“That’s really interesting... I would never even be capable of doing anything with the military.” You giggle, making sure you have everything ready for your lesson today. 

“So... Y/N.” At the mention of your first name, your head shoots up in concern. Was something wrong? “Do you have anyone special at home?” Steve asks.

Your mouth felt dry at the question. You know Steve probably wasn’t trying to pry, but you couldn’t help feel yourself shrink under the question. 

“I- uh, no. Unless my cat counts.” You try to lighten the mood and lessen the speeding of your heart. 

Steve takes notice of your bright blush and embarrassment. To be fair, you were embarrassed. You were well into your twenties, a successful woman with a stable job, but little to social life. Or love life, at that. 

“You have a cat?! Let me see ‘em!” Steve exclaims, trying to deflect from the previous question. 

“Oh! This is her...” You say, flipping a frame facing you on your desk to Steve. In the picture frame was a beautiful, tiny black cat. “Her name is Lucy.” You tell him, smiling fondly at the image. 

“How old is she?” Steve asks.

“She actually just turned a year old. I thought it would be nice to have some company in my apartment when I moved here. I was getting a bit lonely.” You tell him, reminiscing on when you first adopted Lucy.

“She’s a real sweetheart.” Steve’s not able to wipe his grin away while looking at the furry animal. 

“Oh, you don’t even know. She’s a spoiled little thing, you should see her when I leave in the mornings.” You scoff, looking back to your checklist on your computer.

“Y’know, Bucky has a cat, too. I think he would like to know that someone else around here has one, the rest of us all have dogs.” Steve mentions casually, but your brows furrow in confusion.

“I-I’m sorry, I know I haven’t been the most sociable person here since I arrived, but... who’s Bucky? I don’t think I’ve met someone with that name...” You search your brain for any recollection of meeting someone named Bucky, but you were coming up completely short. 

“Oh! Bucky is what James usually goes by... I mean, normally people don’t call him James, just Bucky or Barnes as nicknames, y’know?” Steve clarifies.

“Oh, that makes sense,” you say with a slight laugh, “Dr. Barnes and I haven’t interacted very much since I started here... I get the feeling he’s not too fond of me.” You say with a smile to not make Steve uncomfortable. You knew the two of them were friends, as they were always chatting in the professor’s lounge and cracking jokes. 

“Bucky...? Not fond of you? Did something happen between you two that I wasn’t aware of? You’re not unlikable or anything...” Steve wonders out loud, trying to understand. 

“I-I’m not too sure, Professor Rogers.” You try to stop the conversation here before things got too blown out of proportion. “I hate to cut this short, b-but I’ve got a lecture in ten minutes, so I should get going.” You tell him curtly, gathering your things into your tote and seeing Steve out of your office. 

“I’ll catch ya later, Y/L/N!” Steve says as he walks in the direction of his office down the hall.

“See you, Rogers!” You say back, making your way out of the building to the next. 

Just as you locked your office shut, you see a head poking out of the office next yours.

You keep your head down, not really wanting to engage in any aggressive banter right before your lecture. 

But of course, Dr. Barnes had other ideas. And while you really didn’t have the time, Barnes definitely did. 

“Mornin’, Professor Y/L/N! Already late to your first class of the week?” James calls from his spot as you walk in the opposite direction to the exit of the building. 

“I’m actually perfectly on time, Dr. Barnes. And it’s Doctor! Have a good day!” You turn back briefly for about two seconds to meet his gaze, and walk into the biting morning air, ready for the long day ahead.

Dr. Barnes, damn you for making my days ten times longer than usual.

-

Going home was always your favorite part of the day. Your apartment was your safe place, your place where you could drop the professionalism and not worry about having to interact with other people. 

Most of your nights were spent reading, watching movies, learning new recipes, and whatever you could do to take some time to yourself. Lucy was roaming the kitchen while you were trying to perfect your latest baked good. 

As Lucy intertwines herself between your legs, you look down, making sure you don’t trip over yourself.

“Luce, you have a whole plaything set up over there, why do you insist on putting yourself right ther-” Just as you were scolding your kitten, your phone rings from its’ spot in front of you on the counter.

“Hello?” You say into the speaker.

“Y/N! How are you?” Natasha’s voice came through the speakers, making you pull the phone away from your ear. 

“I-I’m good, Natasha. What’s up?” You ask, wondering why she was calling you since she was very clearly not at home. 

“W-Well,” she lets out a laugh with commotion in the background, “a few of us are down at the bar a couple blocks away from your place, I think.” Another round of ruckus in the back, “would you like to join us?”

“O-Oh... who else is there?” Your voice came through softly, making your nervousness evident through the phone.

“Just a few people in our group... Wanda, Banner, Stark, Rogers, Wilson, Odinson...” Natasha’s voice trails off, like she was still going to mention someone else, but was holding her tongue.

“Oh... Uhm, I was just in the middle of a recipe, but I think I could swing by for a bit...” You look down at your mixing bowl, covering it and placing it in the refrigerator. 

Lucy scurries through to your closet once you open it, searching for something to wear, because your current situation was quite frankly sweats. Choosing a black turtleneck and jeans, you dab on a little bit of makeup and pull on some boots, making your way to your car and warming it up. 

Once you made it to the bar, you were met with a stench that only bars have, one you haven’t smelt in years. College was fun while it lasted, though. 

The first person you spot is Wanda, who’s sitting at the bar waiting for drinks, you presume, so you make your way towards her.

“Y/N! I’m so glad you came! Natasha said you were, but we weren’t sure, you don’t normally do, but it’s perfect! I’m so excited, we never hang out too much, you know? And-” Wanda was rambling, and although you could tell she didn’t want to offend you, it stung. You know you haven’t been out with your coworkers, but it was just one of the effects of your social anxiety. 

“It’s okay, Wanda. I know, but I’m gonna try to come out more... I think it’s time.” You tell her with a small smile. 

“That’s great, Y/N. I’m glad, you deserve to let loose and have fun every once in a while, you know. It’s okay to relax.” She pats your shoulder, and you can feel her warmth in it, both physically and emotionally. It was nice.

“I- Yeah, thanks, Wanda. Do you need a hand with the drinks?” You ask, seeing the two full trays. 

“Yes! If you don’t mind, we’re just back there. We got you a drink too, but we didn’t really know what you liked so we just played it safe.” She explains, pointing to the Old Fashioned on the tray.

“Oh! You didn’t have to...” You trail off, placing the tray down on the table. 

“Hi, Y/N! Didn’t know you’d be joining us tonight, good to see ya!” Steve says while scooting further down the booth seat to make room for you, everyone else welcoming you. 

“Thanks for inviting me, guys. I guess I really did need to get out of the house.” You say while sipping on your drink. 

As the chatter around the table starts again, you quickly end up finishing your drink, caught up in the atmosphere around you and how you were having such a good time. 

Maybe this isn’t so bad. I should do this more often.

And as this thought came to your head, Natasha sees that you’ve finished your drink, motioning to the empty glass.

“Need another, Y/N?” She points to the bar, “I’ll come with, I need one too.” 

You nod, scooting out of the booth.

“I’ll just have a glass of red,” you tell the bartender, Natasha giving you an odd look, “I still have to drive home later..” You laugh when she hums in realization. 

While waiting, a tall guy with dark hair is already chatting up Natasha. And just when you didn’t think your night could get any weirder, you feel someone come up next to you.

“What’s a gorgeous girl like you doing here all by yourse-” But the voice was cut short as soon as you turned your head towards whoever it was. As soon as your mind recognized the face, your eyes widened, met with equally wide, ocean blue eyes.

“Y/N?! What the hell are you doing here?” Bucky’s voice was filled with confusion and mild disgust, ouch. 

“I-I was invited... By Natasha...” Your voice was meeker than you wanted it to sound, because who the hell was Bucky to question why you were here? 

“Oh. I didn’t know it was you, for the record.” Bucky states, watching in satisfaction as you look down at your wineglass that the bartender placed in front of you. She gave you a sympathetic look, turning back to another customer.

“I-Yeah, I figured, Barnes. Sorry to disappoint you, I suppose.” You grab the glass and walk back to the table, trying to not look as though someone just called you ugly to your face. 

“Y’know, I don’t quite understand why you can’t just let her be.” Bucky turns his gaze to Natasha.

“I just... don’t like her. It’s as simple as that, Nat. She walks around acting all high and mighty, like she isn’t equal to us.” He reasons, trying to make his point. 

“Bucky... Maybe if you took five seconds to get rid of that ego of yours, you’d know the kind of person she is. And she is most definitely not as pretentious as you’ve made her out to be. She’s a human being, just like the rest of us here.” Natasha finishes defending you, turning back to the table, leaving Bucky even more confused than before. 

-

As the night went on, you very evidently avoided anything that had to do with Bucky. If he came by the table, you would waver your gaze elsewhere, and if he initiated the conversation, you would keep quiet. Although you knew it was probably the easiest way to avoid conflict with him, you could tell you were folding in on yourself. 

And Wanda and Natasha most definitely noticed. 

Every time Bucky spoke, it was like you would disconnect. Focus your mind elsewhere, filling your head with thoughts completely unrelated to your current atmosphere. 

“Y/N, what do you have planned for the holiday break?” Sam’s voice pipes up, trying to include you in the conversation. 

“Oh, uhm... Not much, I usually stay at home and make myself a nice meal. Take some time to myself, y’know.” You smile at the thought of the holiday season. You were completely ready to take the time off to catch up on self care. 

“Oh, no family to go see?” Steve’s voice asks from across the booth.

“Uh... no, not really.” You try let out a light laugh at the answer, trying to not show the stiffness of your body at the topic at hand. 

“I-I’m sorry, Y/N, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable...” Steve says, trying to rectify the situation.

“No! You’re completely okay, Steve.” You reassure him, not wanting to make things even more uncomfortable. 

“Well, now that we’re on the topic,” Bucky’s voice breaks the silence, “Y/N, how come we know, like... nothing about you? You’ve been at the university for a bit now and this is the first time we’re seeing you outside of work.” Bucky’s expression was smug as could be, and you were really fighting the urge to cry right now. 

“Bucky, leave her alone.” Wanda’s voice was coming as a warning, daring Bucky to go even further.

“No, I’m not trying to sound rude or anything,” Bucky keeps pushing, “but you just seem to act like we don’t deserve your time, like you’re better than all of us or something.” 

“Buck, that’s enough.” Steve’s voice was like ice. “Just leave her alone, for God’s sake.” 

The table falls silent, your eyes fixed on your hands in your lap.

“I-I’m sorry, guys...” Your voice was holding on by a thread. “I think I should go, thank you so much for inviting me out with you guys. Have a good night.” And with that, you slip out of the booth, disappearing out the front door at an exceptional speed. 

The rest of the table was watching Bucky with several emotions, including mild disgust, anger, and hopelessness. 

When will this stop?

- 

That night when you return to Lucy, you were drained. Tired. Exhausted. Ever since you were a child, it seemed that you couldn’t outgrow your shyness and quietness. The only place that made you feel like you belonged was your lecture hall. And although you tried, several times, to overcome this horrid quality of yours, it seemed that you could never escape it. 

It just always came back.

And you know how it made you seem to others. Pretentious, snobby, it gave you an air of a superiority complex.

When in reality, it was exactly the opposite. You were so afraid to speak sometimes that you just choose not to. You didn’t want to be judged or ridiculed for saying the wrong things, so you thought it was better to keep quiet.

Becoming a professor definitely helped you break out of that shell a little bit, but it never really translated outside of the classroom.

Flopping down on your grey comforter, you realize that you couldn’t continue to feel like this. It was years and years of meekness, of keeping to yourself. That was the reason why you were almost 30 with no boyfriend, no fiancé, and certainly no husband or child. 

You knew you had to make a change, but you didn’t quite know how to. But that’s something you’ll have to worry about later, because you were close to passing out right now.

-

The following week had been... different. You were spending less of your lunch hours in your office, alone, and finally accepting Natasha and Wanda’s consistent invites to eat with them. It took them by surprise at first, but they welcomed you with open arms.

It was now Thursday, and you were in Wanda’s office, digging into your pasta salad that you’d packed.

“So, Y/N, just out of curiosity...” Natasha speaks through her lunch, “What suddenly made you want to join us? I mean, after last week, I wouldn’t be surprised if you never wanted to see us again.” She laughs a breath out, clearly feeling guilty for last weeks’ events. 

“Well,” you supply after a moment to think, “I realized something. After James... spoke his mind, I guess you could say, I realized that he was right, in a way.”

“Wha-” Wanda interjected but you continued to explain.

“I realized that I had removed myself so far from the people that I see every single day so much that they don’t even know me. And it’s been like this most of my life... I usually just keep to myself, but I think that even though I’m terrified of speaking to people I don’t know, it’ll never get better unless I actually try.” You release, feeling a metaphorical weight lift off your chest. 

“Well, Y/N, I’m glad you finally chose to let us in... But Bucky was still an asshole, and totally out of line. We know we can’t speak for him, but we’re all really sorry for what he said... He doesn’t even know you, and he shouldn’t have made those assumptions about you.” Wanda says after a moment of silence. 

“Thank you, guys.” You smile, gathering your things and standing up. “I have a lecture to prepare for, but... thank you for everything, both of you. It’s been a long time since I’ve had good people in my life that I can call my friends.” You’re shocked at the fact that you feel two sets of arms wrap around you at your confession, holding you tight.

“Y/N, you don’t ever have to thank us for being your friends... you deserve good things, never forget that.” Natasha tells you, and for the first time, you actually believe it. 

“Okay, I actually have to go now, but I’ll see you two later?” You ask, already halfway out the door.

“Yeah, we’ll text you!” Wanda yells back, and you’re making your way back to your office to gather your belongings for the lecture.

But of course, you could never get ready for a class without Barnes popping out and giving you a little pep talk.

“Afternoon, Y/L/N. Getting ready to bore another groups of kids to death?” He asks, a smug look on his face with a mug held in his hand. 

“Actually, Dr. Barnes, I happen to have excellent students who truly enjoy being in my class, being that I don’t teach any 101s, that’s more Steve’s part. But thanks for the concern.” You tell him, shutting the door behind you and letting out a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

You’ve never spoken to anyone like that in your life before. 

And James was equally shocked at your attitude, standing in his doorway, dumbfounded with his mouth hanging open. He was staring at your shut door, wondering where the quick with came from.

He begrudgingly turns back into his own office, truly trying to process what just occurrfaxed.

While you slung your bag over your shoulder, there was an infectious smile gracing your face, proud of not being his doormat for the first time.

That day, class was even better than usual, and you even let your students out early, telling them to enjoy the rest of their day. 

And that night, you went home feeling the best you’ve felt in a long time.

-

You went into the university the next week feeling refreshed from you girl’s weekend that you hosted at your apartment, inviting Natasha and Wanda, and even another professor named Carol who you’ve recently befriended as well- to unwind and have fun with. 

And as you swing the usually locked door of your office open with ease, your eyebrows furrowed. 

I remember locking it when I left on Friday...

But the only thing that seems to out of place is the iced americano and chocolate croissant sitting on your desk.

On the bag of the croissant, there was writing that read, ‘Thought I’d make it up to you.’

Who the hell would go out of their way to bring me breakfast? You thought to yourself. And they know my usual...

You honestly assumed it could’ve been one of the girls, but you don’t know what they could’ve been making it up to you for. Maybe girl’s night? But still, everyone did a good job of bringing things with them to compensate for you hosting. 

But nothing explains the door being unlocked. But you weren’t really afraid. You didn’t keep anything too valuable in there anyways, taking most papers home with you, and keeping classified files sealed in the file cabinet. 

It didn’t really scare you, but you truly wondered who would go out of their way to do something like this for you.

The rest of your day went by pretty quickly, and it was oddly quiet. Specifically from the office next door.

It’s now 5 PM, and not a peep from James.

It unsettled you, to say the least. First the breakfast and unlocked office, and now not a word from him. 

It was weird.

You spotted him talking to Steve earlier in the day, but you haven’t seen too much of him either.

Although, there was a staff meeting tonight, so you’d definitely see him then.

As you made your way to the designated conference room with Natasha, you see Dean Fury waiting for everyone to arrive. He greets you with his usual disgruntled look, which you’ve learned to not take personally over the time you’ve spent here at Avengers University.

Slowly, everyone made it in, taking a seat. 

“Good evening, staff. I hope you’ve all had a productive day thus far, but there’s a reason I’ve called you here tonight. I have a proposal for all of you.” Fury explains, making you all curious. 

“I’ve decided, after a few months of toying with the idea, I’d like to do partner teaching. Each and every one of you will be assigned a counterpart, and you will both help each other in making the others’ teaching environment better. Here at AU, we’re committed to always pushing the envelope, and that means that sometimes, you’ll have to get uncomfortable. And if you’re wondering, there’s no way out of this. You all have to do it. Each one of you has received an email to your .edu inbox with your partner assignment and further instructions on how this will be done.” A pause overtook the room as everyone pulled out their phones to check their emails. “Happy teaching, we start next week, folks.” Fury finishes, exiting the room. 

Meanwhile, you couldn’t believe your eyes when they saw the opened email. 

Dr. Y/L/N, you’ve been selected to teach alongside Dr. Barnes.

Oh fuck no.

And the look he was sharing with you from across the table confirmed he was thinking the exact same thing. 

-

a/n pt.2: ooooooh cliffhangerrr!!! holy shit y’all this bitch long asf. don’t worry, part 2 will be coming soon! comment and lmk what you thought down below! this might have a part 3, i haven’t decided yet !! lol, anyways, i have class in an hour, so bye! if you made it this far, i seriously love and. appreciate you!

[tinyleia]

(Part 1 of my MCU!marathon reviews)

While reviewing Ant-man yesterday I forgot to explicitly mention I love Cassie Lang and that her screaming “He’s so ugly I love him” is a mood and a vibe. Especially going into my next review: Captain America: Civil War (2016). 

8/10

Two Marvel films I genuinely enjoyed? In the span of 24 hours?! Goodness gracious let’s discuss through the following string of incoherent thoughts I had while watching

Revenge plotlines + characters being heartbroken and lashing out + found family fighting with each other and hating it = me at my best. This was the entire film and I need more 

Natasha’s fighting in the opening sequence - none of these guys can compare as far as fighting style goes

Tony Stark rewriting the last moments with his parents and then covering up the hurt with jokes and making a show out of it with the MIT students 🙃🙃🙃

DANIEL BRUHL???? HI BABE

“If we sign this we give up our right to choose” woooooops there’s Marvel favourite philosophical plot again 😏 It’s certainly an interesting one though, an old one in the Western world and especially interesting in an American context. 

When Natasha told Steve she didn’t want him to be alone and they hugged at Peggy’s funeral. God put that in there for me and me only

I have an agenda with fictional men and it’s making sure their trauma and emotional hurt is healed so they can live happily. Bucky Barnes u r invited to my party. This agenda also includes women but you know how they usually end up dead before it comes to a resolution and also Marvel thus far in my rewatch always makes a joke out of male trauma. no mas honestly

Pepper dumping Tony because she’s finally had enough, finally something about those two that makes SENSE

Tony and Steve passionately arguing..... bitch that’s hot. Not in a sexual way but kinda? Love me some non-sexual emotional tension

Arguing about what is right and if locking people up to protect them aka taking away their freedom is right. Woooooooooooooooops

Steve and Sharon kissing? Literally nobody asked for this Marvel also it makes zero sense wtf

Scott Lang aka socialist king of my heart hello sweetie

Loved that final scene between Daniel Bruhl and Chadwick Boseman

TONY STANK honestly anything that hurts his ego is my kink

Steve’s fatherly letter to Tony and “If you need us - me -  we’ll be there”. u g h

As a firm Tony-anti I loved seeing him down on his luck tbh but I also don’t like seeing people sad?? And when Tony gets sad he gets desperate and angsty and a little out of control and scared for the people around him and I love that

Yes I deserve jail for saying something sympathetic about Tony but there you have it

And on a final note, because Tumblr doesn’t let me include it in my bullet points above:

Love them both can’t wait for the solo films!

[thespiritoflife]

Do u have a favourite character? Or a comfort character?

Hello, my dearie nonnie! 😊💛

Thank you for visiting my ask box, I hope you're doing good! <33

I have so MANY favorite characters, so it's hard to choose one.. but maybe Peggy Carter? Are you even suprised? 😆

It is a female symbol, an inspiration, I was obsessed with her long ago.

Or maybe Lexa from the 100? She's so badass😈

Or Ragnar The Younger from The Last Kingdom as comfort character? I don't know, fanfictions about him make me always happy, I love his character.

So yes, you probably wanted me to type just one character, but sorry, I just can not type just one! 😆

Thank you again for visiting my ask box and I hope you will come here again! <33

[hourglass-full-of-stars]

Hamilton thoughts in no particular order Pt. 2

-the sisters on the surround in my shot

-burr looks so scared when ham starts singing to him in the room where it happens

-and backs away like he’s been slapped

-Phillip watching on the surround during we know

-oooooo

-I couldn’t seem to die.

-gwash, Phillip and Eliza on the surrounding during hurricane

-HURRICANE

-IN GENERAL

-Maria handing him the quill

-love how Alex gets up on the table and mouths along to the quotes m

-Phillip looking up at him on the table

-Jefferson pointing stuff out to Phillip in the pamphlet

-Maria reading it in the corner

-WhaAAAAT

-IM NOT HERE FOE YOU

-GOD I HOPE YOURE SATISFIED

-Alex mouthing or singing along to only “I guess he was honest with our money”

-Phillip looking up to him on the table I’m crying

- burr in the Schuyler sisters is like Greg heffley in wimpy kid trying to get in with the girls who spill tea about everyone

-what does laf whisper in peggys ear in the end of helpless ??

-I reblogged a thing about Ariana Debose and I never noticed how that bullet nearly missed Hamilton

-she is that bullet

-post said she was an omen of death

-I get it

-Angelica hugging Eliza in the surrounding during stay alive

-I never knew lee sang in the ten dual commandments

-okay so we’re doing this

-Laurens and ham hug :))

-hams grin in the end of Yorktown

-my friend was right George doesn’t blink

-I’m so bLUE *stomps foot sassily*

-awesome. wow.

-Lin’s smile is so yes

-Ariana gave him the quill in nonstop

-lETS GO

-the sisters faces when Hamilton pulls away from them

-daveed Diggs is a gift to humanity

-his lIL DANCES

-ham pushing gwash out of the way to greet jeffs

-still not over “France. What?”

-Jeffs trying to get Madison to dance with him

-better things of something to say. AHH

-*flounces over to madison*

-are you driving to FLY

-you could argue Jefferson wins the musical

-what are those coat swishes in cabinet battle number one

-Jeffs sarcastically clasping for ham

-Jefferson and madison best friends forever

-elizas little sash on her dress in take a break

-Anthony u are not nine

-hand kissesssss

-the girls duet during take a break is the best thing

-I’m watching the room where it happens for the second time today

-yOU MUST BE OUTTA YOUR GODDAMN MIND

-Jefferson’s FACE

-my only two emotions these days are Hamilton and anger

-fOLLOW THE MONEY PEOPLE

-hoo boy one last time more like one last cry

-Hamilton looks so happy when he learns Jefferson resigned

-I’m sorry. w h. At.

-I think my gut reaction to one last time is just tears

-CHRIS JACKSON IS CRYING TOO IM VALIDATED

-elizas scream I’m

-not ok

-Jefferson’s lil dance after Hamilton chooses him

-burrs faCe after he loses

-ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENS CHOREO COMING BACK IN YOUR OBEDIENT SERVANT

-ensemble switches chair for Hamilton and burr

-“lee” is Burrs second

-I love their black outfits

-Washington is wATCHINGN from the other side

-I am a mess

-why is the ensemble so perfect throughout the show

-“and I tried” in his head: it’s like, whatever

-angelicas dresses are always buttoned to the side while elizas are either down the front or no buttons

-oh lord the orphanage

-they WILL TELL YOUR STORY ELIZA

-how Eliza and Alexander look a teacher other he takes her hands I’m

-he lets her take center stage

-without him

-for she is his legacy and she is the star

-and I’m crying

[themortifyingordeal-ofmonologues]

The Amazing Race: Season Marvel

If someone wanted to write a very stupid but also possibly amazing fic, I have a suggestion.

For those who have not heard of this before, The Amazing Race is an America reality show where 11 teams of 2 compete in a race around the world for 1 million dollars. There are 12 legs/episodes and for each leg they will travel to a new country, complete a number of tasks, and race to the pit stop of each leg.

The tasks for the leg include a Roadblock (a challenge everyone must complete), a Detour (2 options, teams must choose one of them to complete) and traveling to different locations (either by taking some kind of public(ish) transportation or driving themselves). The first team to check into the pit stop at each leg wins some kind of price (money or a trip somewhere) and the last team potentially faces elimination from the race.

In some of the legs there are different advantages or disadvantages that teams can use that are offered by the race. The most common ones are the Express Pass (offered once per season in recent seasons) where the first team to complete the challenge can skip straight to the pit stop and the U-Turn (or Double U-Turn) where after a detour is completed, one team can make another team go back and complete the other half of that detour as well before moving on. There is no rules against alliances/working together so plenty of room for drama. Highly recommend watching a season or 2 of the show, the teams get to go to amazing places and do crazy things.

Now onto the suggestion- Amazing Race: Season Marvel.

Out of fandoms I know, this is probably the easiest to try and make a fic out of because you need 22 people. Teams on the race are made of various pairs with the common ones being:

1) Parent/ Child

2) Siblings

3) Dating/ Engaged/ Married Couples of any kind

4) Best friends and/or Co-workers

Now the fic could be as gen or as shippy as wished, but as a warning the show is a stressful thing so there are always a team or 2 that is always fighting with one another. On the other hand, there have been at least 2 or 3 proposals on the show including the most recent season (season 32).

So now: a suggestion list of 11 teams and potential relationships (ignoring the status of people in canon and the time they are supposed to be from)

1) Tony and Rhodey (best friends and brothers)

2) Steve and Peggy (Married for 3 years)

3) Sam and Bucky (Dating for 1 year)

4) Hope and Hank (Father/Daughter)

5) Wanda and Pietro ( Brother and sister)

6) Carol and Maria (Best friends and Air Force Pilots)

7) Natasha and Clint (Coworkers)

8) Thor and Loki (Brothers)

9) Scott and Luis ( Best friends)

10) Wanda and Vision (dating for 5 years)

11) Nick Fury and Maria Hill (Coworkers)

Honorable mention would be Peter and MJ but you have to be at least 18, sometimes older depending on the state (for some reason?) plus also the racers are usually at least 25ish I think (I’m not great with judging ages). Basically any pair of people that worked together in Marvel would make a good team.

[kelvintimeline]

its been like over two years and technically i dont care anymore but also i saw someone call steve an incel over all the EG bullshit and it really made me think like. idk its not that deep and ppl can do whatever they want but like the way EG steve still doesnt mesh with any other steve in any way bc hes a completely different person and ppl have to basically make up a character to hate on is so funny to me. like just rag on the writers bc if u acknowledge EG ur only digging urself deeper tbh

i think steve stopped being the person in the avengers movies in general, his avengers personality doesn't mesh with what we get in the cap trilogy lol

like barely caring about bucky and sam in IW was also bad

because the avengers movies never focus on steve's own internal struggles (which are often about what is right vs what is expected of him), they end up giving him outside motivators. avengers movies always just choose dumb shit like 'conflict with tony' or 'peggy'

when like... one person or disagreeing with one person has NEVER been his characterization. his character has always been about the many, never the few lol

god what a shit tier franchise

[infinitestarsintheskye]

First 20

Guidelines: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20,  just list them all.) Choose your favourite opening line, and tag some friends!

I was tagged by the ever lovely @daisylincs thanks so much lovely! And without further ado, here we go! 

1. You and Me, We Can Light Up the Stars

Jemma wished she could say that the day dawned bright and beautiful, but it did not.

2. His Mind, His Body, His Life.

Peggy was furious.

3. A Bright Particular Star

The day came too quickly for Jemma’s liking.

4. Dorothea

Fitz always did the shopping on a Tuesday evening.

5. Deeper Than All Roses

Kiftsgate House was not the most grand house in the area.

6. Our Love Lasts So Long

Leopold Fitz was bored.

7. Joy, Despite Everything.

Fitz dragged his hand down his face.

8. Other People 

He always felt odd driving up here, despite the fact that he’d done it more times than he could count in the year he’d had his driving licence.

9. Christmas at the Abbey

It was a long journey from Perthshire to Sheffield, particularly in the snow.

10. Star Light, Star Bright

Jemma could not ever remember being this tired.

11. The Stars in Your Sky

She was so tiny.

12. Tailored Love

The past year of Jemma Simmons’s life had been an utter whirlwind!

13. If There's No You

Coulson sighed as he made his way down to the mobile lab.

14. A Star Danced

The music thrummed through every wall in the house, vibrating in the bones of the groups of teenagers scattered about, lounging on chairs, collapsed on the staircase, and tucked away in every corner.

15. Telling Tales

Jemma sighed.

16. The Lady and the Chauffeur.

Arthur Simmons sighed, and looked down at the many papers scattered on his desk.

17. When I Kissed the Teacher.

To say Peggy was nervous about dropping her daughter off for her first day of school was an understatement.

18. What's In A Name?

“What about Hailey?” Jemma said sleepily as she got into bed.

19. I'll Always Be With You

Steve’s plane going down was one of the most difficult moments of Peggy Carter’s life.

20. I See You Everywhere

Steve had always loved the red of Peggy’s lipstick.

Oh my god that’s a LOT OF FIC. I’m just glad we only got as far back as 2019 and NOT all the way back to my humble beginnings in like 2014. I shudder to think what I may have unearthed there. Also I have written 15 fics since about this time last year. OH MY GOD. I have never been so fic prolific in my entire life. Thank u for that pandemic. I do have to say though, as much as I am iffy on that fic now, I do really like the opening line of A Star Danced. I think I wrote it at like 3am one morning and it’s actually pretty good for my insomniac brain I think. 

ANYWAY, Lily did a pretty thorough job of tagging everyone so I’m just going to go ahead and say that if you wanna do this, consider yourself tagged! 

[the-wintershade]

— never let me go

pairing: sam wilson x f!reader x bucky barnes summary: he doesn’t want to talk. he doesn’t even want to see you again. wc: 5.8k+ genre: angsty for sure, fluff, cuteness, flirting, sweet boi

Blue Shade: series — masterlist | 05

Bucky’s eyes are bright and excitable. They are expecting and gracious, like he’s done the thing to finally get the girl, to win the prize, to secure the deal. And it makes you want to wipe the smile right off of his dumb face.

His arms are spread wide and empty, just like how they’ll stay.

“What’s wrong, doll?” He sees the anger contorting around your features. “Aren’t you glad? I chose you.”

There are many things wrong with what he just said, but the part that cuts the deepest is that he was well aware that you knew. He knew you knew and let it just sit there unsaid. Like you were worth nothing to him. Like you were just an accessory.

You didn’t want his love, you didn’t want him. You just thought you needed his approval, that somehow his opinion would solidify your standings and chances with other men. 

But you were wrong, so wrong.

And it desperately ached, ripped your soul to pieces, that it took you this long to figure it out. That you left Sam, beautiful, sweet, encouraging Sam, at his house, eyes hurt and broken as you took off, like he knew that you would choose Bucky over him. 

You weren’t racing over to choose Bucky. You were coming over to end things, to finally face this gaping hole in your chest.

“Why are you back now?” Your words drip with acid and the words push harshly against your closed teeth. You could feel your eyes darkening, morphing into something spiteful and fueled with hate. There’s no point in pretending like everything was fine and pleasant now. The truth was coming out soon enough.

“Doll…” His arms lowered slowly, dramatically, and it burned your skin to think that he was genuinely surprised at your reaction. What if it had been him on the other side of this? What if you had cheated on him? “What are you talking about?”

“What went wrong, Bucky. Why change now?”

He looked down and scoffed, fixing the collar of his jacket while watching you glower, unimpressed at his attempts to charm and welcoming you back to him like he was opening his eyes for the first time instead of realizing you were there the entire time.

“Because...she wasn’t understanding of our arrangement.” The words were about as hard to choke out as it was for you to hear them, but you kept a neutral expression. Arrangement. You were just a guise, something to keep the daring ones interested and the weak ones away. The respectful ones. The girls who knew better than to mess with a man already dating someone else.

“And I am? I’m just sort of business arrangement to you?” Your tone stayed dry and neutral the whole time, not betraying an ounce of the anger you felt.

“Well…” The scratching of the back of his neck was enough to tell you everything he couldn’t.

You folded your arms and gave a pitiful, “ha,” and looked away from those electrifying blue eyes that you fell into that day. The day, years ago, that you would come to regret for some time. They were still beautiful and he was still undeniably handsome, but that meant nothing to you now.

Now you had something lightyears better than before. Someone that was beautiful in more ways than one. Someone who’s internal heart and soul encompassed a mind far more delicate and compassionate than Bucky’s. Bucky was handsome externally, but was an internal bog of self-centered thoughts and actions. 

He wasn’t someone you wanted to stay with.

“Go away.” You ordered, stepping into his personal space to convey the depth of your command. You never broke eye contact; you wanted him to feel every bit of the rage he conveyed in you, every bit of the fury that raised itself in his name. “And don’t come back.”

Bucky’s eyebrows lifted incredulously, like he’d been honestly shocked at your reaction. “What? Why?” His blue eyes felt like ice after knowing the depth and warmth in Sam’s chocolate brown ones. “Come on, Doll.” He scoffed and walked closer to you only to be pushed back by your firm hand against his chest. The touch revolted you, but you stood firm, not allowing your hand to drop. “I thought you’d be happy about this.”

“I don’t want to be second place for you.” Your voice lowered so much, it sounded like a growl. He heeded the warning and took a step back as the weight of your dark, sharp eyes cut against his stunned gaze. Good. Let him recognize what he’s dealing with. “I deserve better. I found someone better.”

The words don’t truly register until after you’ve said it, because this means that you’re ready to admit it out loud. You’re ready to tell the world, and even the person you were almost dating, that you’re ready for things to work out with Sam. 

You’re ready to admit that Sam’s the one for you.

You didn’t school the shock on your face and Sam’s face angled in anger at your response. “It’s him isn’t it?”

“Leave.” 

“He’s just using you, you know.” Bucky stayed rooted in place, but as you walked towards him, his body language altered, changing into showing signs of running and fleeing.

As you come to a stop in front of him, you say one last dumb statement to his face. “Oh, I bet.” You stalk a little closer and he throws his hands up, turning around to leave. 

The buzz that started when he opened his mouth begins to fizzle out, draining your energy and focused concentration. You felt jittery and depleted, like you’d just run a 5k and crossed the tape. That would never happen, of course, you’d already witnessed the results of running with Sam. A running career or even running for leisure would never be for you, but the exaltation and exhaustion that would come with it you could sympathize with.

You opened and closed your apartment door with an extra umph as you tread over to your couch and plopped down, a face of surprise still plastered onto your face. You really said that. Those words were a reality, those words were real.

You scoffed in shock and then quickly reached for your phone, fingers trembling, hands shaking. You needed to call him, to tell him everything that happened, to let him know the truth and that things were over. He was the one. He was the person you wished to spend the rest of your days with.

Your teeth work the bottom of your lip as you pace your leg, waiting for a response, but a generic voicemail greets you, announcing his unavailability and patiently asking you to wait for the beep. You try again, but within seconds you get the same message.

What was he doing?

You try a third time, hoping he’ll pick up and you’ll hear the dazzling deepness of his rich, warm voice, but nothing, clicked right to voicemail. Like he intentionally turned his phone off.

A pit of despair grows in your core. 

You shouldn’t have left him. You should have ignored Bucky and stayed. But if you did that, you wouldn’t be free. Free to live without Bucky so firmly rooted in your side, agonising over your every move and breath. You wouldn’t be able to run to Sam without that chasm separating you two.

But now everything felt wrong.

Agony burrowed into your heart, fretting over the reasons behind dodging your calls. He never ignored you, why start now?

Maybe you should go over there, try to reason with him and make things right. But you knew. You wouldn’t have to reason with him if you didn’t already know the reason.

He thought he lost you. He thinks that you somehow chose jealous zealot Bucky over him. Over your gorgeous ray of light and warmth. That you would choose that horrible man over someone who makes you feel like the most important thing in the world.

You could never, would never. 

But Sam didn’t know how to separate your inability to kiss him out of respect and moral obligation to whatever was going on with Bucky and thinking that you weren’t interested that way. But he must have known; didn’t he see your eyes. Your orbs that pleaded with him for forgiveness and took on a tenderness that could only be attributed to him.

You set your phone down and ran your fingers through your hair, crushed. 

Oh Sam, please forgive me.

…

Sam doesn’t come to the next dance practice or the next. Your heart grows heavier and heavier each time, tears threatening spill from your closed lids. The others in the class are sympathetic and offer to switch with you in between dances, but you respectfully decline and leave.

On your way to the last practice, little hope flutters inside of your heart. You doubt he’s coming, but you’re not ready to give up on him. You’re not ready to throw in the towel just yet. 

Sam is nowhere in sight when you enter the room and Peggy smiles sympathetically at you, making her way over to give you a hug. “I’m so sorry, (name).” She whispers sweetly, and you return her hug, letting this small gesture wash away the horrible sinking feeling of guilt and regret that hits you like a tidal wave.

“Thanks, Peggy.” You manage to answer her and she steps away to look at you. “How is he?”

“He’s okay. He and Steve have been in contact.” She nods at you and you deflate at the look on her face. That’s all you’re going to get, all she can convey to you. 

“Okay…” You breathe and look down. Peggy rubs your shoulder soothingly and you nearly crumple under her gentle touch. “I just really want to speak to him. He hasn’t returned any of my calls or texts and there’s so much I want to explain to him. So much I need to talk to him about.”

“He just needs some time.” Peggy’s smile is sincere and hopeful, it lifts your spirits ever so slightly. “I know he’ll want to hear everything you have to say. Sam is a good man and he’ll listen; he just needs to be alone right now.”

You nod slightly, but feel better. Peggy was always good at encouragement and knowing the right thing to say. “Do you have a dress?”

“I’ll be there, Peggy. For you and Steve...and Sam.” You smile smugly at her and she gives you one of her signature grins back at you.

“I look forward to having you there on our big day. I know Sam will be happy to see you, whether he admits it or not.” Her happiness bleeds into yours and you begin to leave, feeling more optimistic that things will get better, no matter how hard the climb is right now.

“Thank you, Peggy.”

“You’re family to us now, (name). We’ll always be here for you.”

You nearly cry in your car.

...

You travel all the way to his house. It feels weird being there, after everything that’s happened in the last few days. Your dance together feels like it was just yesterday, like it was just a few hours ago that you were wrapped in his arms, listening to the calming sound of his heart. A heart that you knew and trusted. A heart that you unknowingly held and dropped.

You wanted to fix this. You needed him to see that this was just a misunderstanding. He was the one you chose. He was the one you wanted.

You just hoped that he would let you get the chance to explain.

Tentatively, you walk up the steps, trying to keep your breath even the whole time. Your heart beats erratically at the idea that this could be it, this could be the moment that could change everything. Your hands are already shaking by the time you knock and your breathing is ragged.

You tense, wringing your hands together to stop the nerves and calm the anxiety. It builds to a crescendo, the emotions threatening to burst, but it deflates quickly.

He doesn’t answer the door. 

You take a breath and knock again, but approach the door more closely, almost laying your whole ear against the door. You catch it then, a slight shuffling of feet, and then quiet again, stillness. A broken, quiet sigh escapes your lips and your head feels like it’s a hundred pounds.

He doesn’t want to talk. He doesn’t even want to see you again.

You deserve it. You should never have left the way you did without explaining; you should have told him what you were planning to do.

But you didn’t. 

And now you were sitting here with regret and heartbreak. He may never forgive you or want anything to do with you again. It hurts, it’s a hard pill to swallow, but if that’s what he wants then that’s what you’ll give him. You gulp down the tears and tread back to your car, pulling away in a quick fashion.

You just didn’t notice Sam peeking out the blinds to watch you go.

…

You write a letter. It’s not the greatest in the world, but it doesn’t have to be. Your apology is brief, but your explanation is very detailed. The piece of paper gives him time to ignore it and read it when he’s truly ready; you just hope he’ll come around.

…

The banquet hall is perfect. Its glowing chandeliers and sparkling glasses remind you of times long gone and memories uncovered. At the center of the table sit Steve and Peggy, Natasha and Clint sit near the edges, along with Wanda and Vis. 

The seat at Steve’s side remains stubbornly empty. 

You pace around to your seat next to your would-be date. He still refuses to answer any of your previous text messages or calls, but you haven’t tried to contact him in the last day or two. You want to give him the time and space he needs, but it still crushes your soul.

The pang only intensifies as you take your seat, see his name tag, Sam Wilson, and realize he’s not coming. It feels wrong, like a universe without a sun to warm it. It’s cold and empty without him there next to you. Where you’re used to him being.

But that’s the big word, used to. 

You took it all for granted. You made the biggest mistake of your life and with every place you feel his absence, you feel your error more clearly.

Peggy turns and mouths to you, flu, and you nod more out of trying to appease her than belief in that excuse. He’s healthy, you were just at his house and knew he was fine, but you were the source of his disappearance. You were the sickness that he fled so desperately from.

That made everything so much worse.

You buried your head in your hands, raking your fingers through your scalp. You bit your lip to prevent the tears from spilling over, to prevent your emotions to be read plainly on your face.

Taking a breath, you let your body lean back against the seat and pick up your utensils with shaking hands to prepare yourself for the rehearsal dinner you’ll have to sit through.

You spare one last glance at the empty seat beside you and refuse to let your eyes drag to that spot again. 

…

It’s every bit the nostalgic, traditional, retro inspired design that you imagined it would be. There’s a whole jazz quartet as you walk in, serenading everyone with their inspirational and emotional trumpet player. It’s a whole new world of white and wood and vintage and you love every part of it. It’s so fitting for them and they deserve every happiness in the world.

It took a lot of courage and pep talks before you even considered showing your face at the actual wedding, but you came this far. You wanted to congratulate them and support them on their big day. They’ve been nothing but warm and welcoming to you from the moment you met them, Peggy even considered you family.

Family doesn’t just give up because everything gets hard. They’re there no matter what they're going through. This is you showing up. This is you taking the initiative and hopefully showing them the same love and respect they gave you.

Your hands were sweaty and you palmed them off against the lavender gown you decided on. It was a safer color. The bridesmaids were wearing red and, although you would have preferred to wear something in a mahogany hue, this would be a good compromise. 

You couldn’t ignore the erratic beating of your heart or the way your eyes flashed off the object of your attention to look for your sun. How it was so easy to work through the boring small talk because you weren’t really paying attention at all, your heart was a million miles away and your mind racing through the clouds.

He was captivating your every thought, every breath, every movement. And you couldn’t find a trace of him.

You snuck back behind the bridal dressing room and lost your breath at the sight of Peggy. She was beautiful, as you expected, but she looked like the perfect angel in white. She wrapped you in a warm hug and flashed a dazzling smile as you pulled apart. 

“It’s good to see you here. I’d hoped you’d be here.” The words were just as sweet and sincere as you remembered her to be.

You smiled genuinely, the first time in days, and held her hands tightly in your own. “You look absolutely beautiful. Steve is going to be crying some big man tears when he sees you.”

She laughs and you chuckle with her. “He better. I spent the last three hours getting ready.”

Natasha steps through the door and nods to you, a smirk on her face. “She decides to come anyway. I’ll give it to you, (name), you’ve got tenacity.”

You shake your head and step out of the way as she places the veil right upon Peggy’s dark curls, making sure to weave it like it was a halo on her head. Peggy looks even more breathtaking now. Steve should be sobbing when he sees her.

“Thank you.” She adjusts the piece and for the first time since you’ve known her, you see her hands tremble, her nerves finally getting the better of her. 

“Peggy.” You crouch next to her, placing your hands on her shoulders and giving them a slight squeeze. Her open brown eyes stare at you in the mirror, slightly embarrassed and shaky. “You have nothing to worry about. You’re beautiful, intelligent, strong, and can do anything. Steve is going to be right there, ready to hold you up the moment you step into his arms. We all love you. No one is going to let you fall, especially not the man walking you down the aisle.”

She takes a couple steadying breaths and licks her lips quickly. A small, soft smile forms on her mouth and Natasha places a hand on her shoulder. “What she said. And if he drops you, I’m gonna pick you up, give you the walk you deserve, and then politely kick his ass.”

Peggy laughs. “Oh I don’t doubt it.” She sighs and gives both of your hands a tight squeeze. “Thank you.”

You answer her with smiles that convey much more than words could ever have.

…

Your leg bounces traitorously in your seat on the pew as you wait for the ceremony to start. Nerves from anticipating watching the most beautiful woman you’ve met leads to your hasty movement but a stronger sort of anxiety coils around your stomach and sends it churning uncontrollably. 

In the back of your mind, you really hope Sam is here to support Steve and Peggy of course, but it also gives you a chance to explain in person, where things can’t get muddle over text.

That’s when you see white suits travel down the aisle and your breath gets stuck in your chest. Your heart jolts and then speeds, racing uncontrollably while you pointedly avert your eyes. You can’t be caught staring; that wouldn’t be your proudest moment.

You pretend to be interested in the carpeting when you catch the hint of dark skin sticking out of a white suit and your eyes flash without warning towards its source. Sure enough, there he is, in all of his beautiful glory and you’re rendered speechless again at the sight of him. He’s handsome. That’s all your brain can compute at the moment.

To explain the source of its lapse in processing, he’s watching you, almost as if he’d been searching for you, discreetly in the crowd and spotted you by chance. You can’t break eye contact and your heart still beats incredibly hard and rapid, like you’ve been sprinting.

It feels like a lifetime has passed before you regain enough mental fortitude to look away, but your eyes are pulled back to him like a magnet. You manage to resist the pull as he walks to his place, but your gazes draw together like they were never meant to be apart.

He’s not mad, not in the way you thought he would be, but he seems relieved and upset at the same time, that slight furrow still set between his eyes. His stare probs yours intensely, searching for answers that you can’t give at the moment. 

You just admire him, glad to see him healthy and in-person. That’s all you needed. You’d be content with just this, even if you never got the chance to see him again. This was more than enough for you.

When Peggy began her walk (and Steve’s eyes were red after she took three steps down the aisle), it was incredibly hard to break eye contact, as if you were afraid that if you looked away now, you would never be able to see him again. Your breath returns for a moment; you are able to concentrate on your bodily functions again and the buzz starts wearing off.

You take an opportunity to share a smirk with Peggy, watching as her steps are perfect and precise, practiced and elegant. There’s no way she’s going to fall. She’s too confident to let anyone have to hold her up or support any of her weight. That’s the Peggy you knew, even in the short time you’ve known her.

You glance back at Sam and see him softly smiling in your direction. You sever the connection to avoid him from seeing your face turn an unseemly shade of red.

Peggy makes it up the steps and into Steve’s arms and now the blonde man is smiling through his tears, sniffing and blinking rapidly. You allow yourself a short laugh before you look back at Sam. He chuckles in their direction as well, but glances quickly towards you, eyes furrowed and searching for something?

He looks beside you, behind you, and even in the back of the chapel before he stares at you again. A question lingers in the air as he squints at the open seat next to you and then shifts his gaze back to yours. You tilt your head in a quizzical manner. What is he talking about?

He does it one more time, more dramatically, and you break eye contact to process what he’s trying to hint at. Seat open next to you, no one else here that you should have a connection to besides the bridal party and Sam, maybe waiting for someone? Or someone missing?

Bucky. 

He’s wondering where Bucky is.

You look back to show him that he’s not a part of your life any more, but now the ceremony has begun and the time for silent communication is over.

It’s gorgeous and you couldn’t be happier for them, but an intense feeling of obligation makes your movements more jerky as you sit to witness the wedding. Sam only spares one look at you, trying his best to appear the picture of concentration and focus.

You start counting your breaths until the kiss happens, which you cheer excitedly with everybody else, your enthusiasm overshadowing the intense will to speak to Sam.

Then, as the bridal party starts to exit, Sam spares another glance your way, making the same eye movements. You shake your head vigorously in denial. Bucky isn’t and won’t be with you today and that’s how desperately you wanted him to know that. You nearly got whiplash from how hard you shook your head, but you needed him to see that the Bucky thing was long gone.

He frowns. 

Then he turns and offers his arm to another bridesmaid to escort her down the aisle.

You take a deep breath and close your eyes. Was it not the answer he wanted? Did he read the note? Does he even believe me? Your confidence took a huge hit, but you stood to take your turn walking out of the building and tried to keep your head up. Your eyes would say a different story, but at least your walk wouldn’t give room for any questions.

The crowd guides you the building over, where the real events are happening, and you play the happy wedding goer. You don’t really know anyone in the crowd, but you take time to smile and look at the scenery, the luscious trees, the white flowers contrasting the deep brown wood, the way the white lengths of fabric catch and twirl in the air. 

It distracts you, at least long enough to make it to the building without wallowing in self-pity.

You’re just about to walk in (you’re determined to stay through the entire evening, no matter how bad the Sam situation might get), when a hand rests gently on your elbow. You’re about to turn around completely, but notice the deep brown hue of the hand’s skin tone and know immediately who’s got a hold of your arm.

He gently steers you just out of earshot of other people and releases you. You look at him, hoping to see some happiness or relief there, but find none. He pointedly avoids eye contact. His arms are folded tightly over his chest.

“What happened?” The words are coated in sour flavor; you can taste bitterness on your tongue. “I thought prince charming came running back.”

You see all of it, the hurt, the betrayal, the broken bond. Everything that helped create this amazing space between you two, thrown away in an instant. But, as much as it caused you intense agony to see him this way, you knew that you had made your choice. 

You were willing to fight for it and that meant standing your ground against his cold demeanor.

“I turned him down.” 

His eyes flash over to you and he leans in closer, as if he didn’t understand the words you said. A jolt lights up in your core, but you swallow it down, trying to stay focused.

“What?” It’s nearly a hiss, but the tension isn’t as overbearing as it used to be. It’s calmed down considerably and for the first time in your few minutes of interaction, you notice a subtle thawing.

“I turned him down.”

Deep creases cut his forehead, but his face is smoother in places that are tells for you. His eyes aren’t flat or pinched; they’re open, watchful, like when he’s analyzing something. “Why?”

You watch him, smirking ahead of your next words. His eyes grow larger with surprise and confusion. “Because, I already found someone better.”

You’re held in the suspension of time as he processes the emotions running through his system. Jolts still skirt through you as he continues to stare, but his eyes melt. Over time a small smile reaches his mouth. Slowly, he reaches for your hand and presses a warm kiss to the back of it.

Your knees feel like jello.

“Well,” His eyes dazzle you and you knew in that moment, you would do anything he asked, anything at all. “There’s hope for you yet Coffee Girl.”

He doesn’t let go of your hand, but tugs you along with him, keeping you firmly rooted at his side. It’s not controlling or possessive, rather loving and protective. You’re happy to stay as close as he wants. 

Elation doesn’t even come close to the obvious relief you feel in your bones, in your soul. His warmth bleeds into your hands like it should; everything feels right.

But he accepted you so quickly. As good as it feels to be back by his side, you wonder why he would accept your explanation so swiftly. Something else must be going on here.

“Sam.” You gently call his name as you stand together, watching the first dance of the bride and groom. 

His face tilts in your direction, a lingering grin still on his features. “Hmm?”

Your core ignites at his deep hum and you blink a second to clear your head. “Did you read my letter?”

He sobers, his facial features evening out, but a small smile still holds his lips suspended. He brushes a lock of hair from your cheek to behind your ear, softly skimming your skin. It leaves a pleasant trail of warmth behind. 

He nods in response, a knowing smirk on his face. 

You pretend to be outraged and swat him playfully on the shoulder. “Sam! You read my letter and still did all this to me?”

“Well, a guy’s gotta be sure. I didn’t really know what was going on at the time and I didn’t know if you would eventually go back on what you said in the letter about breaking up with him. About me.” His grin sends a burst of heat rushing through your core. “So, I had to play it tough and safe, for me.”

Your face falls and you look away in shame. “I’m so sorry Sam. I didn’t mean to cause you so much pain over this whole thing.” You squeeze his hand and turn to him as he looks away. “I just realized how much I was worth. Being around you helped, you made me feel so special and seen and understood, and it helped, but when I looked around and saw what a beautiful example of what real love could look like, I recognized that I didn’t have anything to prove any more. I didn’t have to prove my worthiness, because there were people out there that saw it before I could.”

He’s smiling down at you now. 

Before he can say anything, it’s time to get out on the floor and do the job you were originally there for. You and Sam take your places, he pulls you close, and you hold on tight to his hand, like he’s a lifeline. “I’m wearing the wrong color.” You mention as you glance around and see the burgundy dresses around you.

“You’re perfect.” He whispers and your eyes lock, just like it did in the chapel, just like they were magnets. A shock buzzes through your hands, but you don’t have to fight it now. You let it wake you up, let it bring you two closer.

Your cheeks burn hot at his incessant eye contact, but you don’t look away.

You never look away once, even as he dips you and twirls you around like you practiced, even when you trade partners, even when your steps are so insync that you could close your arms and dance with him, you’re looking at him every second, every moment. 

Everytime.

…

The beach greets you with a gentle roaring as your footfalls line up perfectly. Your fingers are interlaced and the quiet wraps you together in a world of your own, just for you two.

Stars twinkle. The moon casts a soft glow on the water. The night brings its secretive but alluring energy. You’re here with Sam. 

He squeezes your hand. 

“How are the dreams?” You voice softly, so as not to disturb the storm of horrific images in his mind.

He sighs and tugs you closer so he can wrap an arm around you. “I don’t think they’ll ever leave for good, but they’re quieter now.”

You nod and bury into his side, breathing in his woodsy scent and his comforting touch. “I think it’s because of you.”

You feel Sam’s face look to yours, but you only smile and wrap your arms around him while you continue your pace down to the edge of the boardwalk.

His temperature warms.

The breeze is cooler here, still warm but carrying a bite at the end. Sam tries to give his jacket completely to you, but you lightly press his arm. “I’ll move closer. That way it’ll cover us both.” As you sit, you stay as close as you can to him while he drapes his jacket over you both.

He laughs as you smile like a little kid. “It’s only a jacket.”

“It’s your jacket.”

Your warm, soft eyes watch as he adjusts it, his harder angles and lines interplaying beautifully with his soft cheeks and smooth skin. He’s a masterpiece. Too gorgeous for the world. “You’re beautiful,” You murmur unconsciously.

A deep flush crosses his cheeks as he watches you skeptically. The contrast is hysterical. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” 

You curl your head into the crook of his neck. “Stop playing.” You giggle as you close your eyes and you feel him chuckle with you. It vibrates through your cheek and you smile in perfect content.

After you sit next to each other for a few hours, he helps you stand up, careful to watch your dress and get you on your feet without falling. You thank him with a small blush and move to go back to the car (you’ll get your own tomorrow) when Sam pulls you against his chest, his face serious.

“Hold on.” He whispers and slowly leans in. You move closer and only when he’s sure you want this too does he crash his lips against yours. His full lips are soft, but they roam and press into yours with fervour, a fiery jolt going all the way down to your toes. Your brush your fingers against his hair and his fingers splay against your cheek, pulling you closer with intensity. The last kiss feels like a feather and your closed eyes flutter open slowly.

Your lips are red and very puffy, as are his. “Finally,” He breathes and keeps your foreheads together for a moment, before pressing one last lingering kiss right behind your ear. Your breath hiccups.

He smirks deliberately and weaves your fingers together, pressing his lips against your hand again. “So, see you in class on Monday?”

You push him away playfully, but he makes sure to wrap an arm around you as you walk back, his lips pressing swiftly and warmly against your temple.

[shreddedparchment]

I’m reading HITHYD and I saw what u said about Steve choosing Peggy being in character to you. As much as I love ur fics, I politely disagree. Only bc I know that based on the other movies, Steve’s main motivation has always been Bucky. And then he found a new family (Sam, Nat, Tony, and what was supposed to be Sharon). And also based JR said about Steggy being one kiss in a moving car (brutal), all of this led me to believe that Steve would’ve rathered stayed. EG!Steve seemed very OOC to me :(

(2)  Not trying to start a fight or anything, bc ur allowed to have ur own opinion. I just personally don’t like the idea of Steve leaving his friends and family to go back to the past for one person, albeit a great person, but nonetheless EG!Steve really did confuse and upset me. (Also the logistics of it all was just WHEW). I never saw him as a person to willingly leave the ppl he loves for someone that had a life of their own already. That’s just me tho ! Just wanted to talk to u about it

I don’t remember what I wrote when I started that story but here is my opinion on Endgame Steve. First, let me say that Endgame has a lot of problems storywise. There are things that would have been better done another way but...well, it is what it is.

I like that he got a happy ending with the woman he loved. I think that with the choice so clearly set before him--just having the option available--of course he was going to take it. He had never been able to forget Peggy. She was a central part of his story in every movie (as was Bucky, totally not saying he wasn’t). Before Bucky showed up in WS, Steve was just kind of floating around, trying to live his new life in modern times. Then Bucky shows up and he latches onto that part of his past.

Bucky becomes his anchor in a sense. Yeah, Buck’s got other things to deal with and Steve has obligations that he won’t walk away from so he does create a new family with Nat and Sam and for a while I think he is pretty “satisfied” with his new life.

There are a lot of problems with this new life in my opinion, a big one for me was that half assed relationship with Sharon (which gets kinda icky when you think about Endgame which I will get to in a bit). He hadn’t, to date by the time that Endgame rolled around, had a significant relationship. That part of his life was just void (and it should be noted that I am not a Stucky shipper. I get what people are saying when they state this as evidence but it isn’t canon as much as some wish it was--I honestly wouldn’t have even minded it being canon but it isn’t).

Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is, he loses Bucky, his anchor to modern day in IW, and while he has some of his teammates, clearly they’re not really connecting.Tony’s living his own life. Nat has taken up the helm at the compound. Everyone’s kinda scattered doing their thing so, I think other than the occasional visit which is what we saw him doing with Nat in EG, he’s kinda been alone.

And this is all just speculation. This is how I rationalize EG because while I loved it, I can definitely admit that it was problematic.

Anywho, they do the time heist and suddenly Steve sees this possibility that never existed before. He’d thought he’d lost Peggy and any form of a life that he might have lived with her. It’s his biggest regret. The first thing he thinks about when he wakes up after being pulled from the ice is Peggy. Now that everyone is safe. With Tony gone. With Nat gone. With the Earth in good hands, I think he finally felt like he could finally--as was discussed earlier in the movie--get a life.

Now, as far as Peggy already having had a life...this gets a little technical? It took me a while to understand what Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely meant when they said that the kids we see in WS are actually and have always been Steve’s kids. Meaning that rather than time being linear, it’s more like a big loop. Everything happening all at once.

There was always two Steve’s in the modern timeline. One in the ice. The other living his life in secret with Peggy. I’m not saying that this isn’t problematic, just that this is what the writers relayed. So the man that Peggy marries from the very beginning is the Steve that goes back in time in Endgame. Because he always goes back in time and they always get together and have kids. Old man Steve is at her funeral, hiding around because young Steve is obviously there too. And this is where the icky parts about Sharon come into play because if this is what the writers use to explain the timelines...then Sharon made out with her great uncle? lol oh, man...

Anyway, this got too long. I totally understand where you’re coming from but as much as I disagree with the way that the story went (because I would not have sent him back in time either tbh), I can understand the choice with the character set up as he was.

All of this is just my understanding, speculation, and satisfaction with Steve’s happy ending. I think if Chris Evans hadn’t been done with the character they might have done more with him. Taken it in a different direction but he was done and they had to do something more permanent than just having him retire I guess.

Either way, I’m glad you’re reading my stories. I hope you’re liking HitHYD despite our difference of opinion. xoxo

[bravadoseries]

tell us about your braudrey wasteland baby analysis

this ended up being long and angsty i am sorry . if u want i can analyze songs from his other album in a happier way to even it out lol

“nfwmb”: 

“when i first saw you / the end was soon” - audrey and bruce met on the helicarrier and i think when they fought in new york they both knew they might not come out of it.  audrey was inexperienced and way out of her depth, bruce was really against turning back into the hulk again.  

“Give your heart and soul to charity / ‘Cause the rest of you, the best of you / Honey, belongs to me” - they both give parts of themselves away for the greater good and feel most human with each other

“Nothing fucks with my baby / Nothing can get a look in on my baby / Nothing fucks with my baby / Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing” - when hozier wrote this song everyone thought it was about how nothing fucks with his baby because he protects her but he said actually nobody fucks with her because she’s extraordinarily powerful and scary.  i think both of these apply to braudrey—nobody fucks with bruce because audrey protects him, and nobody fucks with the hulk because he’s giant and terrifying 

“moment’s silence (common tongue)” 

“When stunted hand earns place with man by mere monstrosity / Alarms are struck and shore is shook by sheer atrocity / A cure I know that soothes the soul, does so impossibly” - this is related to an upcoming ~chapter~ lol but basically audrey and bruce go on a retreat upstate that’s supposed to give him the opportunity to hulk out and like scare some squirrels in the woods but while they’re there, audrey and the hulk become good friends ? and so that’s why she’s able to reason with bruce when he turns

“almost (sweet music)” 

i would place this one as post aou when audrey thinks bruce is dead.  

“i’m almost me again, she’s almost you” - after a bit, she starts dating again but she’s still very much grieving and hung up on him 

“i wouldn’t know where to start / sweet music playin’ in the dark / be still my foolish heart / don’t ruin this on me” - audrey becomes good friends with wanda and pietro after age of ultron and they haven’t been around long but they ask her to talk about it because she sits in her room playing the same song every day and crying and they’re like … ?

“I got some colour back, she thinks so, too / I laugh like me again, she laughs like you” - i think this is just audrey letting herself be close to people again. it’s not the same but it’s not so lonely

“movement”

“I still watch you when you're groovin’” so this song i think is about like someone dancing and being really seductive and sexy but this reminds me of bruce watching audrey dancing really terribly w tony at every avengers function.  audrey literally cannot dance for shit and it’s endearing to bruce 

“When you move / I can recall somethin' that's gone from me / When you move / Honey, I'm put in awe of somethin' so flawed and free” - i think bruce gets kind of fixated on watching audrey spar and fight; like partially because it’s hot but also because he sees her as very powerful and finds it magnetizing 

“no plan” 

i’m gonna go ahead and place this as ragnarok/infinity war 

“for starts / what a waste to say the heart could feel apart / or feel complete, baby” - audrey and bruce reunite on sakaar and it’s a very emotional scene; it’s a waste to say the heart could feel apart because she knows she’s not less without him but there’s this understanding, this thing that’s been off that’s finally righted when they’re back together

“My heart is thrilled by the still of your hand / That's how I know now that you understand” - this applies to a very specific moment in ragnarok before they go to fight hela where audrey puts her hand over bruce’s and he looks at her and she’s unable to tell him that if they die right now she loves him but he knows anyway

“There's no plan / There's no race to be run / The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun / There's no plan / There's no kingdom to come / I’ll be your man if you got love to get done / Sit in and watch the sunlight fade / Honey, enjoy, it's gettin' late / There's no plan / There's no hand on the rein / As Mack explained, there will be darkness again” - so this is all very apocalyptic and not to flex but i was at a concert and hozier talked about this line and how the whole song was written about the doomsday clock and a time when it was closer to zero than ever; it’s a song about throwing caution into the wind at the end of the world and i think that’s fitting.  there’s a period where audrey realizes that they’re not gonna beat thanos, and that the snap is gonna happen, and she takes a breath and notices everything around her and just thinks about how she’s lucky to have had it at all.  

“nobody”

“You know when it's twelve o'clock in Soho, baby / It's gin o'clock where I'll wake up, I don't know / And I think about you though everywhere I go / And I've done everything and I've been everywhere, you know” - this just reminds me of when audrey is away on missions and bruce is still at the base; she’s been everywhere in the world because she’s been alive for so long and she’s been around for a lot; the one thing she’s most grateful for her lifetime to have coincided with though is bruce 

 “i’ve had no love like your love / from nobody” - this is just them lol they understand each other on another level

“I'd be appalled if I saw you ever try to be a saint / I wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave” - this is audrey 2 bruce … she would be appalled if he ever tried to get rid of the hulk for good; i think that it’s such a significant part of how they see and understand each other 

“If I had the choice between hearing either noise: The excitement of a thousand or the soothing of your voice / At first chance, I'd take the bed warmed by the body” - they just choose each other.  they choose to be with each other.  this reminds me of the “give your heart and soul to charity” line in nfwmb because it’s like if they had to be heroes without each other they wouldn’t be happy 

“as it was” 

there’s a conversation bruce and audrey have at the safehouse in age of ultron where bruce is saying he doesn’t feel the same since wanda fucked with his head bc of the vision he had, and he’s worried abt whether or not audrey can continue to care for him when the chaos the hulk created wasn’t for any good or if she’s changed her mind and she has to assure him that she hasn’t; there are a lot of lines from this song that remind me of that

-“whatever’s here that’s left of me / is yours just as it was”

-“Just as it was, baby / Before the otherness came / And I knew its name / The drug, the dark, / The light, the flame” 

-“its holds had the fight of my baby / and the lights were s bright as my baby / but your love was unmoved”

-“the sights were as stark as my baby / and the cold cut as sharp as my baby / and the nights were as dark as my baby / half as beautiful, too” (unrelated sidenote but this line gives me chills always)

then the second verse of this reminds me of audrey and bruce in ragnarok: 

“Tell me if somehow Some of it remains How long you would wait for me How long I've been away The shape that I'm in now Your shape in the doorway Make your good love known to me Or just tell me about your day”

“shrike” 

so audrey has a really really hard time saying i love you after bruce leaves at the end of aou, to anyone—she says it to steve maybe once, but she can’t say it besides that one time, and it’s part of why she’s so torn up about peggy dying because she didn’t tell her she loved her enough in the months leading up to her death.  

but also, when bruce comes back, audrey still can’t muster up the ability to say them out loud, and so at the end of infinity war, she’s left without telling any of the people she loves that she loves them.  when she comes back in endgame, she’s able to overcome that to tell them.  this song reminds me of that 

“I couldn't utter my love when it counted / Ah, but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now” - this is when she comes back

“The words hung above / But never would form / Like a cry at the final breath that is drawn / Remember me love when I'm reborn / As the shrike to your sharp / And glorious thorn” - this is both; she couldn’t say it, but she’s “reborn” during endgame and she realizes that the worst has already happened countless times; there’s nothing else to be afraid of that she hasn’t survived

“Then when I met you, my virtues uncounted / All of my goodness is going with you now” - this is just audrey when bruce leaves

“talk” 

ok this entire song is just both audrey and bruce when they like each other but don’t wanna say anything about it.  

I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus When her body was found Hey yeah I'd be the choiceless hope in grief That drove him underground Hey yeah I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee That made him turn around Hey yeah And I'd be the immediate forgiveness In Eurydice Imagine being loved by me

I won't deny I've got in my mind now (Hey, yeah) All the things I would do So I try to talk refined For fear that you find out (Hey, yeah) How I'm imagining you

I'd be the last shred of truth In the lost myth of true love Hey yeah I'd be the sweet feeling of release Mankind now dreams of Hey yeah That's found in the last witness before the wave hits Marvelling at God Hey yeah Before he feels alone one final time And marries the sea Imagine being loved by me

“dinner & diatribes” 

i think…..this doesn’t match up exactly but the new year’s eve chapter…..Yeah

“Let there be damage ensued and tabloid news / And that kind of love / That's the kinda love / I’ve been dreaming of”

“would that i” 

okay buckle up this one is a lot

“True that love in withdrawal was the weeping of me / That the sound of the saw must be known by the tree / Must be felled for to fight the cold / I fretted fire but that was long ago” ok this i think is bruce’s perspective; love in withdrawal was the weeping of me = the isolation he put himself in following becoming the hulk was a very bad spot for him even though it was safest.  the sound of the saw must be known by the tree = gotta risk it for the biscuit! must be felled for to fight the cold / i fretted fire but that was long ago = i used to be afraid but now i’m not; it’s worth the risk 

“Oh, but you're good to me / Oh, you're good to me / Oh, but you're good to me, baby” bruce is just continually confused and surprised by the fact that audrey isn’t scared of him 

“With each love I cut loose I was never the same / Watching still living roots be consumed by the flame / I was fixed on your hand of gold / Laying waste to my loving long ago” 

-with each love i cut loose i was never the same = bruce has cut off everyone he’s been close to since the hulk happened and he’s not the same when he’s alone; he thinks he can make it by himself and he probably can but he doesn’t have to

-i was fixed on your hand of gold / laying waste to my loving long ago = this is actually nice bc the gold imagery specifically matches up with what audrey’s powers are, and so there’s that connection to be made 

“And it's not tonight / Where I'm set alight / And I blink in sight / Your blinding light” this also just matches up really nicely w audrey’s powers lol

“sunlight” 

“I had been lost to you, sunlight / And flew like a moth to you, sunlight / Oh your love is sunlight” i think this would be bruce after age of ultron ? he’s been lost to audrey, but when he sees her he gravitates back toward her immediately; he sees her love as sunlight

“the tale is the same / told before and told again /  soul that's born in cold and rain / knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight” - bruce is the soul that’s born in cold and rain and audrey is sunlight

“Each day you rise with me / Know that I would gladly be / The Icarus to your certainty” - i think he’s just devoted to her 

“wasteland, baby” 

okay going line by line for this one lol buckle up!

“All the fear and fire of the end of the world / Happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl” - when they’re fighting thanos audrey is actually reminded of bruce; how losing him felt like the world ending, now it’s for real

“Happens great, happens sweet / Happily, I'm unfazed here, too” - when audrey goes at the end of infinity war, she goes smiling 

“Wasteland, baby / I’m in love, I'm in love with you” - they just love each other

“All the things yet to come are the things that have passed / Like the holding of hands, like the breaking of glass / Like the bonfire that burns / That all words in the fight fell to” - everything that has happened has led them to this moment; loki, ultron, hydra, etc. without that they wouldn’t have each other, but they also probably wouldn’t be dealing with this mess.  it’s not good or bad, it’s just the way things went.  

“Wasteland, baby / I’m in love, I'm in love with you”

“And I love too, that love soon might end / Be known in its aching / Shown in the shaking / Lately of my wasteland, baby” - they know it’s over before it’s over; they can tell what’s going to happen before it happens, and they’re just paralyzed in that moment 

“Be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking / Though quaking, though crazy / That's just wasteland, baby” - when audrey goes bruce pleads with her to stay

“And that day that we'll watch the death of the sun / To the cloud and the cold and those jeans you have on / And you'll gaze unafraid as they sob from the city roofs” - in the years after the snap, bruce has the most vivid dream almost every night where audrey’s . like . ghost comes to him and takes him to the top of a hill and they watch the world end around them.  it’s terrible and every time he wakes up he misses it.  

“When the stench of the sea and the absence of green” - ok lol this just reminds me of how the hulk wouldn’t come fight at the end of infinity war 

“Are the death of all things that are seen and unseen / Are an end but the start of all things that are left to do” - the world ends; half of everything is dead; but they’re still left.  bruce and steve and everyone have to go on living still.  

“Wasteland, baby / I'm in love, I'm in love with you / (That's it)” - this abruptness just reminds me a lot of the snap; that’s it.  there’s no going back.  

[stevethehairington]

B I T C H A S S H O E

lmao if u think i’m not gonna answer this one then ur wrong :p

B: favorite kinks for one of your otps?

lol good question, i don’t really consider myself someone who’s like. super into reading kinks so just be prepared for a hella vanilla answer lmao. 

i think hair pulling is v nice to read in good omens fics, so is like the whole wearing lingerie thing.

I: a book you can read over and over

answered this one here

T: favorite female character?

tbh this varies depending on fandom but i think if i absolutely had to choose one from all fandoms, i’d probably pick Peggy Carter

C: which fandom do you know the most about?

ooh. probably skam. i would say marvel too but that’s probably not true bc there’s a lot of comic shit i still don’t know. so yeah, i’m gonna stick with skam

H: a character that you love to hate?

this is a fun one. i do love to take a good dump all over brock rumlow from marvel in fics, he’s fun to blame everything on lol. 

A: fandom you blog about the most

okay this one changes all the fuckin time man, all the time. it used to be skam back in the day, then it jumped to love simon for a hot sec, then it was good omens, now it’s mostly it, but also i’ve started including a ton of shameless shit lately too so, yeah. i guess rn it’s it and shameless and whatever the fuck else i please

S: which ship do you have an infinite amount of songs for?

i love this question skflg i’m That Bitch that makes a playlist for every new ship i start to like (which you already know lmao). currently, my ship playlist with the most songs on it is the one for ineffable husbands from good omens with 206, followed by reddie with 154, and then gallavich with 113. the other ships have, unfortunately, not made it past 100 songs, although, for some of them i have like a ship playlist and individual character playlists so if you combined all three then it might get up there (if i do that w stucky then i ave 235 songs) but these playlists are always growing and there’s also some songs i haven’t gotten around to adding to them yet so yeah

S: see above

H: see above

O: tell us about your favorite AU for one of your ships?

answered this one here

E: a character you think you’re most like

come right for me why don’t you damn. okay. idk if i’d say i see myself fully in like any one particular character but there are definitely bits and pieces of characters that scream oh hey look its YOU. 

though, if i did have to choose one that comes closest I’d probably pick richie tozier, bc hiding your true feelings about shit and life in general behind humor? Peak Me. also, the fact that he didn’t tell eddie about his feelings for over 27 years and held them in literally until after he died,,,, also Peak Me. like i can’t say i have that experience, but putting yourself out there is Hard. so. who knows. also, honorable mention to mickey milkovich bc i do see myself partially in how closed up he is esp in the beginning bc like. yeahhhh. i can be pretty fuckin closed up about things when i want, and i like to put up a front and hide behind it, like ‘yeah everything feels like it’s falling apart but i’m gonna grin and bear it and say i’m doin just fine’, that’s me. and like talking about my feelings doesn’t necessarily make me uncomfortable but i don’t really know how to?? not well?? so i just,,, don’t. and also, like mickey, i’m just a soft person that wants to find love man. 

but now we’re starting to get into the Too Deep territory so imma save that for our next Emo Hours conversation lol.

[lostanachronism]

“i asked her once how she managed to master diplomacy and espionage at a time when no one wanted to see a woman succeed at either. and she said "compromise where you can. where you can't, don't. even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say no, you move.” — captain america: civil war

NOTES —

• in order to comply with the wishes of @impulsvs​ and to make where she is at this point in time easier to follow, this portrayal is not compliant with the ending of avengers: endgame ! please consider this before interactions!

• yes, i am shipping cartinelli. i am simply an agent carter stan who has to give the content to herself so... i have an Explanation for this below.

• i am including the agent carter showrunners’ plan for season three in peggy’s canon here! obviously as we don’t know exactly what was going to happen, i’m going to be filling in some blanks ! obviously there are also agent carter spoilers ( i’ve summarised roughly, sorry agent carter writers lmao ) going on down below !

APPLICATION —

♡ ˙ hayley atwell, she / her, thirty-five / margaret “peggy” carter has been displaced !! originally from marvel cinematic universe / agent carter, she has found themselves in new york city, determined to get home . on the screen, they come across as driven, resilient, stubborn, and self-sacrificial. we’ll see if their red lipstick, gun beneath the pillow & looking out into the future personality will be their downfall or their saving grace in these streets. / shannon, twenty, she / her, bst.

INFORMATION —

NAME: margaret elizabeth carter

NICKNAMES: peggy, peg (commonplace) / marge (jack thompson) / miss union jack (howling commandos) / english (angie martinelli)

GENDER: cis female

BIRTHDATE: 9th april, 1921 — hampstead, london, england

DATE OF DISPLACEMENT: 8th november, 1956 

AGE: thirty-five

DATE OF DEATH: 18th june, 2016 (age 95) — washington d.c., united states of america

NATIONALITY: british

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: married to a man for her family’s safety and to hide her bisexuality in an unaccepting age, but in a relationship with angie martinelli.

ORIENTATIONS: bisexual, biromantic

MBTI: entj-a

ZODIAC SIGN: aries

HOGWARTS HOUSE: slytherin ( i feel strongly about this lmao )

FC: hayley atwell

BRIEF BIO —

margaret carter, founder of s.h.i.e.l.d., has been having an interesting time since the end of the second world war. the s.s.r., it seemed, was ( although not keen on serving women in the first place ) even less inclined to give a women a shot, and thus she felt for some time reduced to a coffee-carrying glorified secretary for men like chief dooley and perhaps the most patronising of all — agent jack thompson. 

however, when her close friend howard stark gets himself caught up in a congress investigation regarding stolen inventions of his, she is recruited by him to clear his name and try to recover the weapons; all without attracting the eye of her fellow agents, and with the assistance of his butler, her countryman edwin jarvis. it leads her along a road of chaos as howard’s inventions — stolen and sold along — create more and more havoc, and ends upon the brooklyn bridge disposing of the last sample of steve rogers’ blood as a last goodbye.

however, she didn’t expect to have to clear her own name as a heavily redacted file seemingly about an m. carter begins to circulate, accusing her of war crimes, as her colleague jack thompson ponders using it as blackmail. 

who also accompanies her as the focus slowly turns to a russian group known as leviathan, and the deadly assassins of the red room, including one dottie underwood, putting her and all those she cares about ( even including l&l automat worker angie martinelli, who she has come to call a friend ) in danger. the trail becomes more dangerous still when zero matter and fanatical actress-scientist whitney frost comes into the equation, seeking to use it for her own ends and to ‘advance’ humanity beyond imagining. 

the ‘m. carter’ file comes back into focus when agent jack thompson is shot and the file stolen — and the investigation, to peggy’s horror, leads her to her not-so-dead brother michael who has turned to the very organisation peggy had spent years of her life struggling against, forcing her to choose between family and what is right. ( being who she is, of course, she chooses the rightful path. )

later, howard stark approaches her for help to run the new s.h.i.e.l.d. and she becomes one of its founding members, the successor organisation to the s.s.r. she had by then spent some time in both new york and l.a., and decided to pursue feelings for angie ‘in spite of her better judgement.’ she married for cover ( her husband being privy to the truth ) so that she and angie could have a relationship with lesser fear of danger / persecution. she and her husband have a child. she had been spending some years with shield when on november 8, 1956, shortly after the re-election of dwight d. eisenhower to the presidency, she was thrown to new york — a city she knew, but in a different time, with people she knew to find there.

WANTED CONNECTIONS —

for plotting, my discord is litoreus#9796. please note that this blog is only open to members of the displacedhqs roleplay group.

• will give you my first born in exchange for any agent carter character ( but particularly angie / howard / jarvis ) thank you that is all !

• especially fellow mcu muses let us plot some THINGS thank u !

• found family as always like yes. give me someone for peggy to protect with her life because she’s ABOUT THAT SHIT.