Good god, ok… I started getting tired around year 10 and I just finished this a few minutes ago (it’s past 3 am). There are a lot of plots at the beginning that don’t differentiate between meta lore plots and world lore plots but they become distinctly separate at year 6. The crossed out dates are because I’d like to come up with month names that don’t sound as infantile as the canonical ones.
Neopets Timeline:
Faeries arrive in Neopia. (Year unknown)
Queen Fyora ascends to the throne and unites the elements. (Year unknown)
Calabrus gifts the faeries a magic bowl and Faerieland is created with the aid of said artifact. (Year still unknown)
Altador gathers his companions. (Year unknown)
City of Altador founded. (Year unknown)
Darkest Faerie betrays Altador and is turned to stone and banished by Queen Fyora and the sorceress Jerdana. (993 SE/BN)
Qasala seemingly abandoned and buried in supernatural sandstorm-Razul’s curse takes hold of the city. (193 SE)
Neovia cursed its residents returning as ghosts once every Halloween. (Year 2 SE)
Faerieland discovered. (approx. Year 1 KE)
Dr. Sloth attempts to take over Neopia by turning neopets into VirtuPets. (Year 2 KE)
Tyrannia and the Chomby are discovered. War breaks out in Tyrannia soon after. (March 20th-May 10th Year 3 KE)
Lost Desert discovered. (June 12th-July 10th Year 3 KE)
Investigation of the murder of King Coltzan III by Princess Sankara. (July 9th-16th Year 3 KE)
Retrieval of Coltzan’s crown. (July 17th-19th Year 3 KE)
Destruction of Maraqua and discovery of Krawk Island. (August 17th-23rd Year 3 KE)
Lord Darigan tries and fails to conquer Meridell. (Year 4 KE)
Mystery island nearly destroyed. (Year 5 KE)
Lord Kass tries and fails to conquer Meridell. Lord Darigan reinstated as the ruler of the Citadel (February 2nd-May 13th Year 6 KE)
Bori discovered and the Bringer of Night defeated. (October 21st-December 22nd Year 6 KE)
Maraqua rediscovered. (March 15th-June 10th Year 7 KE)
Qasala rediscovered and Razul’s curse lifted. (August 30th-November 29th Year 7 KE)
The Darkest Faerie freed and imprisoned again. Altador rejoins Neopia. (November 15th Year 7 KE)
The Wand of Wishing is retrieved and hidden away again. (March 14th Year 8 KE)
Shenkuu discovered. (August 3rd-September 8th Year 8 KE)
Neovia discovered and its curse lifted. (October 3rd-November 21st Year 8 KE)
Roxton A. Colchester III and Co. discover and subsequently lose an island inhabited by giant mutant petpetpets. An event all involved would rather forget. (Year 9 KE)
Dr. Sloth tries and once more fails to conquer Neopia by mutating neopets but differently this time. (Year 10 KE)
Moltara discovered and global warming averted. (Year 11 KE)
Faerieland falls at the hands of the sorceress Xandra. (Year 12 KE)
Krawk island disappears and is reformed in an effort led by Gavril McGill. (Year 13 KE)
First time in over a decade where nothing (officially canonical) of note has happened. (Year 14 KE)
Discovery of Tyrannian obelisk. Obelisk war begins. (Year 15 KE)
Diplomatic crisis at Lost Desert trade summit averted. (Year 16 KE)
Nothing (officially canonical) of note occurs. (Years 17-18 KE)
Darkest Faerie is freed and begins an attempt to take revenge on all Neopia. (February Year 19 KE)
Darkest Faerie is defeated and flees, weakened, into the Haunted Woods. (May Year 20 KE)
Diplomatic tension in the Lost Desert and subsequent rising and quelling of Sakhmet rebellion. (November 19th Year 20-March 2nd Year 21 KE)
Legends and Letters. (Year 21 KE)
Nothing (officially canonical) of note occurs. (Years 22-24 KE)
The faerie Luxinia is discovered on a small piece of Faerieland that survived the fall and freed from a crystal. New Faerieland is founded with Luxinia as mayor. (Year 25 KE)
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-Ranking Neopets by Design and Colors-
My sister and I are in a nostalgia kick over neopets and I've decided to do some design geeking and talk about neopet creature design.
Like I am with Pokemon I prefer my Neopets looking definitevely neo-ish, so less like just any old animal you can find in the real world. Keep that in mind as I separate these by both objective opionion ("that's a well designed neopet") vs my personal preferences ("zomg that's MY FAVORITE neopet"). Know that I'm trying to take into account the:
overall design with the basic paintbrush colors
paintbrush creativity
Unconverted vs converted art and how the likability changes therein because of the character that crosses over from the art (I personally dgaf about unconverted art. I think the stock-look for the pets is fine as it is it just sucks to loose what was such cute art for the paintbrushes)
customability
a final note: I've never played neopets for myself. I don't have time to take care of a virtual pet, let alone 4 or more now that I'm an adult. While I'd like to have a neofamily and work hard for the money for them I kind of would really prefer a job first.
All of these preferences come from watching my sister play the game and my own fondness for the pets as toys and as comics over the years.
Format for this post
[neo-species name] [objective opinion/10] | [personal interest/10]
>detailing why and what I like about said pet, personal stories ect.<
Paintbrushes of choice:
[will pick anywhere from 3, 5, or 10 specific colors the neopet looks best in. If it's highlighted = fav colors for them.]
Acaras 6/10 | 4/10
Properly monsterish, though I kind of hate it's feet ngl. Monkeycatrodent thing is alright in my book. I would never have guessed they like to swim or that their horns are bendable. Overall servicably neopet-ish.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Pirate, Halloween, Toy, Pastel, Mutant, Purple, Maraquan, Steampunk, Disco and Royal Boy
Aisha 9/10 | 6/10
One of the most iconic neopet-neopets you could have. Cat-like but not exactly a cat with antenna things. I hated when TNT felt the need to have Aisha characters open their eyes in the comics. Ew.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Shadow, Pastel, Oil Paint, Disco, Cloud, Baby, Candy, Alien, Halloween and Wraith
Bloomaroos 10/10 | 8/10
Perfect realization of a real life animal as a neopet, ESPECIALLY when it stood on it's tail! Delightfully simple, cute and sweet looking. I love Bloomaroos. Certified best bois.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Baby, Christmas, Pirate, Cloud, Mutant, Rainbow, Polkadot, Plushie, Maraquan and Robot
Boris 10/10 | 7/10
You're gonna learn quickly that my favorite neopets are ones that are never unique to one kind of animal but also not just a hybrid. Bori is sufficently armadillo, pangolin and fox like enough all at once. Beautiful wonderbread. Can never get enough of em.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Pastel, Relic, Speckled, Plushie, Halloween, Rainbow, Baby, Fairie, Toy and Woodland.
Bruces 5/10 | 5/10
Literally just a penguin with a bow (yes I know it was og a joke on a real life person). Kinda pointless once Club Penguin was a thing. Sweet but not my fav.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Ice, Darigan, Fairie, Disco, Pastel, Plushie, Halloween, Tyrannian, and Royal Boy and Girl
Buzzes 10/10 | 6/10
Never a big fan of bugs, but I actually like how unique of a bug-creature Buzz is so up it goes. Dragonfly with dragon features never fail!
Paintbrushes of choice:
Camo, Plushie, Fairie, Pastel, Woodland, Baby, Maraquan, Royal Boy, Electric and Skunk
Chias 7/10 | 2/10
Bleh. I don't care for the pets that are just blobs with legs. Also there was that one flashgame where a chia ate innocent petpets so I've always kind of hated it.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Maraquan, Chili Pepper, Disco, Purple and Mutant
Chombys 7/10 | 6/10
Cute dinosaur, but also, just a dinosaur. Not much to say.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Woodland, Tyrannian, Baby, Camouflage, Pink, Royal Boy and Girl, Maraquan, Desert, and Candy.
Cybunnys 3/10 | 8/10
For all I love rabbits, Cybunny's kind of just a rabbit when you get right down to it. An absolutely ADORABLE rabbit, but still. Also it's basic color options are limiting like Usul. Not worth the limited edition in my eyes, but definitely a good solid neopet.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Draik 5/10 | 6/10
kEYUUUte dragon...but, like Cybunny, also just a dragon. Again, drawn very cute. Feels kind of out of place compared to the other Neopets dragons too based on gargoyles, I guess.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Elephantes 7/10 | 7/10
It's hard to mess up an elephant and it's "less is more" here. Personally I think it's new sprite is a VAST improvement compared to it's old one. I hated it's creepy grin growing up. Elephante is a cutesy elephant with a bunny tail and teeny tiny wings that's sitting down in the old art. How can you POSSIBLY ruin that gorgeous art with a nasty toothy grin?
Paintbrushes of choice:
Cloud, Pastel, Mosaic, Fairie, Maraquan, Relic, Tyrannian, Plushie and Royal boy and girl.
Eyries 8/10 | 10/10
Despite it kind of just being a griffon, Eyrie looks pretty sweet. Good use of bird and cat elements rather than just a mish-mash. A regal neopet, like every kid wants when they're smol.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Flotsams 5/10 | 6/10
Not a huge fan of evil/notevil species variants. Apparently it's more of a fish than it is a dolphin which knocks it down a few points as I always wanted it and Jetsam to be dolphins.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Royal Boy and Girl, Pastel, Oil Paint, Woodland, Baby, Halloween, Robot, Plushie and Silver
Gelerts 7/10 | 6/10
Despite just being a dog with long ears and tail something just works about Gelert. If you have to have just a regular animal best make it unique like that.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Toy, Baby, Mutant, Speckled, Candy, Maraquan, Spotted, Wraith, Steampunk and Woodland
Gnorbus 8/10 | 10/10
Funny enough I actually dislike llamas, but Gnorbu is best boi. These guys don't have a threatening bone in their bodies. I just think they're neat. It works as far being both obviously based on a llama/alpaca but still it's own creature. It also looks really good in the new art, better than it did before.
I WANT A GNORBU PLUSHIE SO BAAAAAD!!!
Paintbrushes of choice:
Grarrl 5/10 | 7/10
That's a t-rex alright. I like how friendly they make it in modern day, I guess.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Fairie, Disco, Royal boy and girl, Christmas (unclothed), Toy, Halloween (unclothed), Valentine, Camouflage and Darigan
Grundo 10/10 | 7/10
Neato. Unique but basic alien. Good job. Wish I had more to say. Oh, I guess also when you learn of Neopets' scientology roots they're a little uncomfortable.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Robot, Mutant, Fairie, Royal boy and girl, Plushie, Steampunk, Speckled, Woodland and Glowing
Hissi 5/10 | 6/10
Where I liked it back in the day, I kinda think Hissi now is just "snake with wings". Which like...cool but not that cool. Sorry to be so salty, Hissi.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Plushie, Fairie, Christmas, Halloween, Spotted, Baby, Dimensional, Maraquan, Pastel and Desert
Ixi 6/10 | 9/10
Ixi is drawn very oddly for a goat tbh (it's apparently both a goat and a deer??), but at least it's a cute goat and nicely stylized. Perfectly solid goat-pet.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Jetsam 6/10 | 5/10
Same as Flotsam. Shark man. Pet of the edgy kid who lives down the street who bullies girls he likes because he doesn't know how to show affection.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Baby, Camouflage, Relic, Fairie, Woodland, Pastel, Royal Girl, Electric, Toy and Pirate
Jubjub 9/10 | 3/10
Cuter than a Kiko and Chia but still kind of icky. Idk.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Purple, Baby, Marble, Chocolate and Wraith
Kacheek 10/10 | 10/10
Perfect neopet. Chibi and cute and innocent looking. Great example of a "not specific to any one kind of animal"-design, and perfect complimentary design to Xweetok in terms of early vs later design.
Paintbrushes of Choice:
Pastel, Ghost, Cloud, Valentine, Mutant, Plushie, Disco, Baby, Toy and Relic
Kau 4/10 | 9/10
While that is indeed a VERY cute cow, it is still just kind of...a cow. L for creativity. Otherwise, beautiful cow.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Kiko 8/10 | 1/10
Ew. Sorry Kiko. You can really tell it's one of those early designs. Wholey unappealing to me.
Best paintbrushes:
Halloween, Maraquan and Speckled
Koi 6/10 | 3/10
Freddy Fish. I got nothing else other than I think it looks stupid when it's got it's fists up.
Best paintbrushes:
Rainbow, Disco, Woodland, Pastel and Spotted.
Korbat 6/10 | 9/10
In fantasy-stories and fantasy stories ONLY do I accept long-tailed bats, so good on Korbat for beating the odds and also just being a neopet I've always wanted as a plushie. DARLING fantasybat~
Paintbrushes of Choice:
Kougra 6/10 | 9/10
Like Ixi, Kougra isn't really that stellar as it's JUST a tiger (though they also try to make it over kinds of big cats, which is smart), but they do so much with it and make it very appealing. Also Fairie Kougra was and will always be GORGEOUS.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Fairie, Baby, Island, Desert, Spotted, Christmas, Steampunk, and Royal Boy and Girl.
Krawk 6/10 | 8/10
Cute croc with a cute haircut. I wish I had more to say but I don't. Very fun to draw!
Paintbrushes of choice:
Island, Shadow, Baby, Fairie, Camouflage, Royal Boy and Girl, Christmas, Speckled and Pirate
Kyrii 10/10 | 6/10
Undecided jerk-a$$ rodent wins high for me. You wanna pet it and make it mad. I just found out it's supposed to be a weasel which bumps it up. Still, would never be my first choice.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Pastel, Steampunk, Royal boy and girl, Stealthy, Plushie, Fairie, Skunk, Fire and Halloween
Lenny 7/10 | 7/10
Pretty storkbird but still just kind of a stork. Needs some work. Luckily it has some lovely design touches with it's paintbrushes.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Lupe 7/10 | 5/10
Wolf. It's face-fur always annoyed me. Also it's so overrated by TNT.
Paintbrushes of choice:
White, Royal girl and boy, Mutant, Baby, Darigan, Maraquan, Spotted, Relic, Candy and Christmas
Lutari 7/10 | 5/10
Despite it being a mustelid Lutari just doesn't pass my test. Needs a little more "something" to it's final look. Props to my sister's childhood friend who called it "The Icecream Weasel" before the entire pet was available to create.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Island (undressed), Rainbow, White and Royal boy and girl (undressed).
Meerca 9/10 | 5/10
Manic ball-rodent. Actually looks pretty neat monster-wise though I again I personally wouldn't choose it as my own.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Candy, Fairy, Halloween, Plushie and Toy.
Moehog 7/10 | 10/10
I miss Moehog's old derpy look, but no matter what I love it so much. So delightfully fugly. I could love it up all day. I wish they made more plushies of it back in the Limited Too years.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Myncis 5/10 | 4/10
Potat monkey is cute, but still a monkey. Not my fav.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Halloween, Pastel, Polkadot, Skunk and Toy (with symbols).
Nimmos 4/10 | 1/10
I don't know what about Nimmo I dislike so much but I just dislike it. It looks and feels creepy to me for some reason. I dislike skinny frogs in general. Frogs aren't skinny. They foldy and slim sometimes, not skinny like newts or salamanders are. Icky neopet. Hate it.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Baby, Wraith and Darigan.
Ogrins 9/10 | 5/10
I'm very split on Ogrin. For some reason or another I find Ogrin kind of ugly and overdesigned. Like, it looks like the protagonist to a 3d animated not-Dreamworks film that takes place on another planet who's voiced by Frankie Muniz. And yet I admire it in terms of being a unique creature. Feels like a Dr. Seuss creation because of it's paw feet, or like the camelopard of old beastiaries. As with all personal unfavorites, I like moreso it's paintbrush colors than I do the species overall.
Peophins 5/10 | 9/10
The critical side of my brain is hellbent on pointing out how Peophin is JUST a hypocampus...but the mythology horsegirl in me is just gushing over there being a hypocampus at all. Genuinely I think it's really regal and cute and pretty. Would love one as a plushie. Also I think it's newer art is superior to it's old art.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Poogles 10/10 | 10/10
Perfect dog-thing especially with it's evil toyvariant that always creeped me out. Besides that though it's very much a neopet's neopet with them big ole 2000s' eyes. Love it. The only limited edition pet that I think is worth it's limited-editionness.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Christmas (unclothed), Toy, Candy, Fairie and Robot (unclothed).
Pteris 6/10 | 5/10
Bird. Good bird, I guess. Um...I guess I like it's weird tail?
Paintbrushes of choice:
Christmas, Shadow, Royal boy and girl (unclothed), Fairie.
Quiggles 6/10 | 4/10
Better than Nimmo but that's not saying much. Needs to calm down, even though I appreciate how happy it is.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Halloween, Royal Boy and Girl, Fairie and Robot.
Rukis 6/10 | 3/10
Not a fan of ants and ants, crickets and mantises even less so with anime eyes no less. Buzz's eyes are much better.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Fire, Polkadot and Fairie.
Scorchio 5/10 | 6/10
Basic dragon man that's also definitively neopet-like enough to make it a classic! Though, hard to draw for some reason...
Paintbrushes of choice:
Woodland, Darigan, Fairie, Halloween and Fire.
Shoyru 7/10 | 10/10
Personal fav since I had a beloved Shoyru as a plush as a kid. I count it as a dragon even though it's supposed to be a pterosaur. I think I just really love it's face and body and the fact that it's wings are separate from it's body actually makes it stand out from the dinosaur it's supposed to be.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Fairie, Plushie, Polkadot, Robot, Pirate, Christmas, Woodland, Burlap, Oil Paint and Electric.
Skeith 10/10 | 6/10
Again never liked the "coded to be evil"-type neopets, but a decent grumpygrump dragon person. Adorable.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Royal boy and girl, Biscuit, Camouflage, Baby, Darigan, Halloween, Fairie, Pastel and Woodland.
Techo 4/10 | 4/10
Literally just a lizard. Cool lizard, but still.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Stealthy, Woodland and Fairie
Tonu 6/10 | 6/10
Decent rhino/ancient mammal thing with a hint of triceratops thrown in. Good job.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Pastel, Tyrannian, Orange, and Royal Boy and Girl (unclothed)
Tuskaninny 6/10 | 5/10
Not my fav (and I guess nobody else's fav since they're mega unpopular?) kinda weird eyes, but otherwise cute for a seal/walrus.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Oil paint, Baby, Spotted, Plushie and Royal Boy
Uni 6/10 | 10/10
I have a soft spot for Uni since I overhated it so much as a kid for being 'girly'. TBH I don't hate unicorn/pegasus hybrids in their own isolated fantasy and I think Uni just looks perfectly adequate as one. Also great alt. for My Little Pony lovers who want their ponies looking like ponies again and don't need a cutiemark to enjoy a good fantasy horse.
Paintbrushes of choice (cheated):
Usul 7/10 | 4/10
I have a thing against usuls. Always found them utterly unappealing personally wise and overrated by TNT. They're good 'not exactly squirrel'-creatures but they're hampered by it's basic coloring problems. Also, it always struck me as a "mean girl" neopet even though I guess canonically that's what Uni is. Bleh.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Skunk, Pastel, White, Brown, Royal boy and Girl, Usagi boy and girl, Halloween and Ghost.
Vandagyre 5/10 | 6/10
I don't know what it is. I think it's the pose, but objectively I think Vandagyre is kind of lazy even though other neopets work well with the "this animal but with these other animal parts added on". I feel like the paintbrushes though really go hard or go home for this pandabearowl, so I like that.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Wocky 5/10 | 6/10
Very cute but...literally just a cat. Also it's basic coloring could be annoying with it almost always having a pink-ruff.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Polkadot, Fairie, Baby, Halloween, Ghost, Royal boy and girl (unclothed), Plushie, and Elderly Boy and Girl.
Xweetok 8/10 | 10/10
A more modern answer to Kacheek on account of it being alike to several but never one exact kind of mammal. Better overdesign elements than Ogrin to me.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Split, Fairie, Speckled, Silver, Baby, Halloween, Pink, Royal Boy and Girl and Stealthy.
Yurble 10/10 | 6/10
I remember when this thing debued. Such a fun time! I love how they look vaguely lion-maney but also gerbil like. So cute. So NEOPET.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Fairy, Pirate, Snow, Checkered, Skunk, Plushie, Fire, Origami, Pastel and Purple.
Zafara 9/10 | 8/10
Perfect neopet to end an alphabet with and also just to end off on. Like a neopet version of a Dr. Seuss creation. I love it's smile and it's spikes. It's just very friendly.
Paintbrushes of choice:
Steampunk (unclothed), Woodland, Royal Boy and Girl, Valentine, Starry, Christmas, Plushie, Fairie and Pastel.
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