#types of women's bathing suits

[sundazs]

Dive into Style: Exploring the World of Swimwear

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[orangelit]

It's mentioned once or twice in the book that Glorian is bigger than her mom (not in those exact words), where they compare the two. I wish it was more explicit but feels good feels organic that she's plus sized tbh!!!

yay!! i remember reading something like that as well but i took it more as ‘she’s a teenager and she currently looks a little awkward like teenagers do’. like when you’re 15 and your proportions are a little wacky because you’re still in puberty. but yeah i’m really happy about it!

[autisticlegolas]

idk if it’s because i’m autistic or i missed a feminist lessons but i don’t understand how is being half naked (like just wearing underwear (and a bra) with maybe some see through stuff on) is feminism?

[lucvly]

— boyfriend headcannons with matt. ⸰ 𖥔 ͙

warnings: the usual !! sfw and nsfw parts. not proofread my bad.

a/n: i love reqs helppp 😣 working on another one which actually involves writing as we Speak !! i had to reupload this because i forgot tags SORRY anon 💔

— this man is obsessed with you. literally doesn’t even find any other women attractive. he has the biggest heart eyes for you it’s insane.

— adores hyping you up on instagram. he’s the type to reply “alr i saw it you can take it down now !!” when you post a story. your posts are filled with comments from him.

— he’s an absolute sucker for grand gestures. asked you to be his girlfriend by decorating your room with balloons !! goes all out on your anniversary (buys you a dress, gets you new jewelry, etc.)

— loves to color coordinate with you. whenever you two are going out or just seeing each other he calls you to match outfits. he thinks it’s the cutest (+ chris and nick tease him sooo bad for it)

— always gets you your go-to drinks. you’ll mention an iced latte once and he’s getting one for you every single day !! he’s so cute bye

— secretly loves it when you take pictures of him like a soccer mom LMAOO. he thinks it’s the cutest thing ever. you love taking pictures of him doing literally anything: driving, doing laundry, etc.

— loves sleeping on call with you. he absolutely adores hearing you rant about your day. + sleeping on call together him while he’s on tour and misses you so badly !! half of the call is just him complaining about how much he wishes he could see your face and kiss you.

— he may whine about how you’re stealing all his clothes and hoodies but secretly loves watching you in them.

— him driving is sooo attractive. he’s such a gentleman ughhh. this man will get out of the car and open the door for you, leans over and buckles your seatbelt, + always has his hand on your thigh.

— always kissing you. forehead kisses, neck kisses, cheek kisses, etc.

— soo good at comforting and reassuring you. he’s such a sweetheart it’s sickening !!!

— your personal driver. it’s 3 am and you wanna go out? call him and he’ll be there in 5. you’re drunk at a party and need a ride? your boyfriend’s there.

— replies to your texts at lightning speed it’s sooo embarrassing but cute !!

— updates you on everything that happens throughout his day.

— nsfw below!

— anytime you kiss him it ends up in a heated ass make out session. your hands softly pulling on his hair, his hands gripping your waist as you ever so slightly grind on his hardening cock !! lollll !!

— he leans more towards the gentler side in bed. cute pet names, makes it All about you and your pleasure– (though he loves it when you give him head).

— howeverrrr, he can definitely get mean during sex. i’m talking manhandling, shoving your face into the pillow, dirty talk. (“too big— i can’t–,” “i don’t care, you can take it. i’ll make it fit.”)

— loves it when you overstimulate him. it’s his favorite thing ever. have fun watching him squirm, hearing him moan and whimper your name.

— begs you to sit on his lap. he adores it. stroking your hair, kissing your neck, his hands on your waist as he tries his hardest to not grind his hips up or simply just fuck you senseless.

— he’s vocal. whimpering out loud, begging, groaning, grunting. all of it.

— extremely good at aftercare. he’ll immediately clean you up, get a bottle of water for you, cuddle, talk, anything you want and he’s completely at your service.

— he’s such a secret pervert !!! cannot see you in a skirt because he’s already hard. showing a bit of cleavage? hard. sees you in a bathing suit? it is over for him. he needs you.

— cockwarming him while he’s gaming <333. he’s all for it. one time you two made a bet that consisted on making the other crack first. spoiler alert: you ended up with your moans being muffled by a pillow because you just couldn’t let him finish his game, could you?

[svsss-fanon-exposed]

Exposing SVSSS Fanon: 16/∞

LUO BINGHE HAS A "STEREOTYPICALLY MASCULINE" APPEARANCE

Rating: FANON - CONFLICTING

In fanworks, Luo Binghe is often portrayed as particularly muscular and buff, broad-shouldered, often with tanned skin and sharply-defined features-- all traits that are considered to be stereotypically masculine in the west.

All of this directly contradicts his canonical description.

Necessary disclaimer: I'm not talking against depicting Luo Binghe with a naturally darker skin tone. While that still contradicts the canonical description, I can understand going against colorism (something very rampant in east asian beauty standards!) in fanworks. This sort of discussion is particularly toward those who portray him as fair-skinned on Qing Jing Peak, darker skinned after the abyss, hence "tanned." While this sort of thing might have issues of its own, that's also not the topic of this post, and as a light-skinned Asian person, I don't feel particularly qualified to talk about it.

In truth, deep down, Bing-ge’s fair and clean pretty-boy type didn’t really suit the tastes of “Great Master” Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky.... The art of growing stallions was grounded in science, and the research was clear: women preferred men who looked cultured, pretty, and even a bit soft and feminine. (7 Seas, Ch. 26)

The buff and bulky Luo Binghe often seen in fanworks is not what I would consider to be cultured, pretty, soft, and feminine.

Luo Binghe is described this way just before the conference:

A seventeen-year-old youth, slim and tall and graceful, dressed in white robes, lips turned upward in the hint of a smile, gazed at him with a pair of shining eyes. (7 Seas, Ch. 4)

And again after his return:

The other party was a little taller than [Shen Qingqiu], slender and willowy, dressed in clothes as black as ink that exposed only a fair neck.  (7 Seas, Ch. 7)

And a description of his hands later on:

That hand was slender and unadorned. It didn’t look like the hand of a young lord of the demon race who had already taken countless lives, but rather one whose master had been born to pluck strings, his hand to burn incense and bathe in snow. (7 Seas, Ch. 14)

Consistantly, Luo Binghe is depicted this way-- slender and refined, with fair skin and a softness to his appearance that contradicts his actions.

Furthermore, Luo Binghe is also described as looking very similar to his mother:

Luo Binghe was beautiful, and he looked quite like his birth mother. (7 Seas, Ch. 4)

and

Yue Qingyuan’s knuckles slowly brushed along Xuan Su’s hilt. “I was able to meet Senior Su Xiyan once at an Immortal Alliance Conference, many years ago. Luo Binghe’s appearance is seven-tenths identical to his mother’s.  (7 Seas, Ch. 18)

As for Su Xiyan's appearance, not much is directly stated-- it can be inferred that she likewise looked quite similar to Luo Binghe, but the only description of her physical appearance that we have is found here:

Even if she wasn’t burly and heavyset, she should at least look like a martial arts master with fierce and ferocious eyes. For all that, when he finally met the culprit behind Tianlang-Jun’s bout of philosophical soul-searching, which had tormented Zhuzhi-Lang for many days, he realized that the culprit in question was not quite like what he’d envisioned... ... Just as these two tourists were standing penniless in the street, a tall woman dressed in black strolled by, sword on her back. (7 Seas, Ch. 25)

The only positive descriptor here is that she is tall, but it can also be implied that she does not have the appearance of a martial arts master, and did not look as fierce and ferocious as Zhuzhi-lang expected, especially in terms of her eyes. However, she is described as a cold person-- whether or not that carried over into her appearance, though, is up for debate.

Su Xiyan's eyes are another matter for discussion--

In appearance, Luo Binghe resembled his mother Su Xiyan, but you could more or less see the shadow of his father in him. For example, in the eyes. Tianlang-Jun’s eyes were deep-set, his brow strong and heroic, the irises dark like fathomless water. In this, he and Luo Binghe were very much alike. Luo Binghe had a pretty boy appearance in the first place, but if his eyes had resembled his mother’s too, his face would have been excessively feminine and the effect would be lost. (7 Seas, Ch. 15)

Here, specifically, Luo Binghe is noted as having his father's strong brow and deep-set eyes, as opposed to his mothers, which based on this passage were most likely to be round, soft, and "feminine"-looking. It's also interesting to see that if not for having his father's eyes, Luo Binghe's features would be "excessively feminine," therefore implying that the softer look applies to all parts of his face except for his eyes and brows.

(thanks to @furbygoblinxiv , @bijoumikhawal for bringing up this point)

So, Luo Binghe is a lithe and petite pretty-boy. Nonetheless, he is still notably muscular. Specifically with a surprising amount of lean muscle-- something that Shen Qingqiu actually remarks on:

Luo Binghe was on top, and Shen Qingqiu was on the bottom, so he was smushed under a considerable weight and almost unable to draw another breath. What had this child been eating?! He looked quite slim, so how was he this heavy?! ... A person’s abdomen is supposed to be the softest spot on their body, but Luo Binghe’s was uncomfortably hard against Shen Qingqiu’s stomach. The farther down he pulled him, the more he was sure that Luo Binghe had an eight-pack. Was that a rock slab down there? (7 Seas, Ch. 16)

(thanks to @verycharismaticdragon for bringing up this point)

As for where the fan depiction of buff, tanned, "hyper-masculine" Luo Binghe may have originated?

I'm not certain where the first such depiction came from, but as for the logic behind it, such phenomena could be explained as thinking of Luo Binghe, the stallion protagonist, as having an "ideal masculine" appearance.

For western audiences and beauty standards, this would certainly be that same sort of muscular, tall, with tanned skin and defined features. Naturally, when first thinking of what a "stereotype of an ideal man" would look like, these traits would come to mind to a western audience.

It is a bit different in eastern standards. While muscular appearances can still be favored, lean muscle is vastly, vastly preferred over bulky muscle, and fair skin, which represents elegance and status (as those with fair skin tones are perceived as those who are wealthy, and do not need to work outdoors) is preferred over tanned skin. This is, of course, a generalization-- but as a representation of ideal masculinity, Luo Binghe's appearance would also be a generalization.

Particularly, Luo Binghe's figure and appearance is described not as those favored by men for themselves, but as those favored aesthetically by women. Therefore, that gentle, refined appearance is a must.

While western vs eastern beauty standards may play a role in this, it is also possible that western vs eastern character design standards may also be coming into play. While in eastern character design, things such as color and style of clothing and hair play a very large role in creating visual contrast, in terms of western designs, body shape and style, along with hair shape and style, seem to be far more important, with the idea that a character should be recognizable by silhouette alone. This may lead to western-trained artists, and also those who grew up watching primarily western cartoons, unconsciously applying those same standards to their own design-- such as making Luo Binghe broader-shouldered and with rounder shapes, the "heroic" type character design, in contrast to sharper, narrower shapes for Shen Qingqiu, the "villain" type character design.

(thanks to @gaywarcriminals , @mu-qingfang-stan-account , @temporoom for bringing up this explanation)

One additional possible reason would be the potential for heteronormative/"het-coding" standards being applied to a gay relationship, where the gong is being given more "traditionally masculine" features in order to align with gender roles. This is something that is fairly common in BL/MLM shipping and designs in general, so it wouldn't be unreasonable to think that it might apply in some fashion to Luo Binghe's fan-design as well (Note, this does not apply to actual fem/masc mlm pairs, because those do exist and it isn't always about heteronormativity. This is specifically referring to taking characters with roughly similar build like SQQ and LBH and making their designs distinctly more masc/fem based on who tops and who bottoms).

(thanks to @mysteryteacup and @gurggggleburgle for bringing this up)

As for the true source of these design elements, it probably cannot be narrowed down to just one-- rather, it would be an amalgamation of bits and pieces of all of the above, as well as the popularity and spread of certain designs throughout the fandom and artists taking inspiration from one another.

So often i've seen that Luo Binghe's bulk and muscles are shown as key traits of his physical appearance, despite the fact that this directly contradicts his actual depiction in the novel. Thus, it is inaccurate to depict him this way.

Luo Binghe's canonical body type and build is tall, slender, and willowy with lean musculature, and his features are soft and a bit effeminate. The best example I could give for reference would be to base his body type off of a pretty-boy type idol.

Of course, fanartists are perfectly free to continue drawing him however they please, but it should not be assumed that a Luo Binghe with bulky musculature, tanned skin, and sharp features is a canon-compliant depiction.

Luo Binghe is a pretty-boy.

[katsuthelittlekitten]

Women in distress

Elijah Mikaelson x Reader

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *

The morning in question, you didn't wake up because of the tender touch of your husband or because of the brightness of the sun. You woke up because of excruciating pain coming from your belly. It started as a gentle point that was uncomfortable, then it started to hurt a bit more until it was agonizing at a point that you could do nothing else but wake up in tears.

It was usual for you to have a really painful menstruation cycle and you knew what to expect every week that it started. Yet, this morning it seemed even worse and you had to keep yourself from groaning with pain. After all, Elijah was asleep just aside from you on the bed and your last desire was to wake him up.

Since you didn't expect to get your menstruation so soon after the last time, you omit to get yourself ready for it. Consequently, you felt something dripping down your legs faster than anticipated as you tried to stay on the bed. Your eyes closed shut tightly at this before a curse got out of your lips.

Fuck~

It was blood, it had to be and you felt so disgusting suddenly. You just hoped there wasn't any on the bed sheets for your own sake.

For a short moment, you considered your options as you look with tears to the ceiling. Then you concluded that you'd better move out of bed and get to the bathroom quickly.

Therefore, you slowly shifted toward the edge of the mattress as lightly that was possible without making too much fuss.

Unfortunately for you, however, Elijah that had overdeveloped senses as a vampire, woke up anyway and immediately searched for you with his dark brown eyes.

When he realizes that you were at the opposite end of the bed from him, he extended his arms toward you and circled them around your waist. When he was satisfied with his grip around your waist, the original thug you backward toward him again.

The only problem with that was the pressure of his arms circling your belly that brought you terrible pain as he got you back toward himself. It made you yell and a violent sob soon followed suit.

The second Elijah heard you, he let go and immediately straighten up on the bed. One of his hand came to your cheek and he looked in your eyes with worry.

Baby girl are you alright !? did I hurt you I'm so sorry.

A sweet whine left your lips and you cried even more tear as your cramps were getting worse. You were so desperate, you hated when it was getting this agonising and even if you wanted to try and explain the situation to Elijah, you literally couldn't think straight.

As you tried to get any type of relief in any possible position, your body just balled itself and you hide your head in your pillow.

To say that Elijah was panicking would be an understatement, he was very much horrified and he wanted to do everything that he could to help you out. He tried to calm down and focus on finding what was the matter. Therefore, the vampire gently looked around you and under the blanket, having his doubt and actually saw blood on the mattress.

His eyes soften immediately and he kissed your forehead before speaking sweetly.

It's this time of the week already, my poor angel. Let daddy help you out a little hum.

As soon that those words came out of his lips, Elijah vamp speed to the bathroom and got the bath water starting. After that, your lover left your shared bedroom in search of your pain killers and some heating pads for after the bath. Elijah just knew what you needed in those situation and he always made sure to have everything ready to brought you recomfort.

As he came back some minutes later with a glass of water and the pill, he gently placed them on the nightstand before starting to play with your hair in a recomforting manner.

Shhh, I know baby, i know it hurts but it's going to be alright i promise. Just take this pill for me please, it's going to help with the pain sweetheart.

Just as he said that, Elijah gently took the glass of water and the pill and brought them just asside of were you layed on the bed. He waited patiently for you to take them.

A little moment of silence followed after his words, before you actually moved and took the glass between your fingers. You literally could only think about feeling better and would do absolutely anything right now to released your poor body from the cramps.

After taking the pills and drinking the water, your eyes met Elijah's for a second before you sniffed cutely, tears falling down your redenned cheeks. He looked so sweet and gentle sitting there asside of you, the only thing in his mind being helping you trough your suffering. You loved him with everything you were and even with the deep and strong pain you felt, you seeked recomfort in his arms.

You gently moved closer to him and got into his lap, circling your arms around his neck and hiding your face between his chest and neck. His scent was making you feel a bit more relaxed despite the cramps and you clung to his body like a desperate animal.

Daddy it hurts, please make it stop...i cant~

You tried to say, before a strong cramps hits you and makes you groan and cry harder onto his neck.

Elijah's features showed sadness and worry as he made sure you stayed against him. His hand gently stroke your hair and his lips pressed kissed on your delicate skin. He stood up after you spoke, needing to relieve a bit of your pain. He kept you strongly in his arms and made his way to the bathroom with you. The moment you both reached it, Elijah delicately sat you down on the lavatory and kissed your face, his hand slowly starting to undress you as best he could with you struggling a bit in pain. His lips got closer to your ear and he gently spoke in a wispered like manner to you.

Sweetheart it's ok, I'm just going to finish undressing you and then you'll go in the hot bath my love. I promise it will help, listen to daddy.

After saying that, your favorite vampire just carried on with his task, trying to get it done has fast that he could. Luckily for you considering that matter, it ended up being a job of seconds before you found yourself compleatly bare in front of him. You felt shy but in your state it was the last thing that mattered in your mind. You hurriedly placed your arms back around Elijah's neck and waited for him to take you back into his arms and into the bath. Theirs was no way you'd walk and the original knew that really well. That's why he rapidly took you into his arms without a word and got to the warm and bubbly bath. In front of it, elijah slowly and delicately lowered you in it and your body rapidly felt much more relaxed.

The hot water made your tensed body and your belly cramps less unbearable, which caused a sweet relived breath to come out of your lips. Your feature immediately relaxed and your eyes met Elijah's brown chocolate one with a gratefull glimpse. He was kneeled asside of the bath tub observing you and making sure you were alright. Truly, he was the best boyfriend ever and you couldn't keep yourself from taking his chin between your fingers and kissing his lips gently.

A low growl left him when your lips touched and he moved one of his hand to play with your hair. For a moment, the kiss got a bit more heated but since he knew better than instigate something you weren't in shape to do, Elijah backed away and just leaned his head against yours.

Oh darling if you weren't in pain right now...

His voice sounded so deep and sexy and the desire in it was impossible to miss. You knew that Elijah wanted you and you actually wanted him too but you rather felt like taking your time in the bath to make sure that your pain desaper compleatly. After all the pills you had taken would be doing their effect quite soon. You kept your head against his for a second before biting your lips gently. You had a cute smile on when your eyes met again and your fingers were caressing his cheek sweetly with love.

I know baby and it's not the desire that is lacking believe me. It's just that I think It best for me to stay in the bath has long as possible. Maybe if I feel better after we could cuddle in bed watching a movie together hum.

This time after your words it was Elijah that smiled at you and pressed a tender kiss to your cheek. He nod gently at your words and then stood back up with his eyes on you still.

Don't worry my love the only thing that matter right now is you feeling better. We will see after your bath for the movie and cuddle. Just relax now, I'll get things settle during that time. He let you know with his tender voice before laying a last caress to your cheek and leaving you alone.

As Elijah closed the door behind him, he immediately got to work on the things he needed to do before you came out of the bath. He started by changing the bed sheets and covers, then he did it again with clean ones. After that, your noble boyfriend knowing you pretty well, tought that you'd probably desire some of your favorite snacks. Therefore, Elijah made his way to the kitchen and got all the little treats you love, bringing them all with him to the bedroom afterward. Following this instance, your vampire just prepared the space to make it cozier and ready for the both of you to watch a movie. Elijah placed soft blankets and pillows everywhere. He even brought your comforter and made sure your heating pads were ready to use.

At some point, everything was finally ready and he came back to the bathroom knocking at the door softly. A soft smile on his lips and your fluffy bath robe in hand.

Baby...are you ready to come out...?

On your side in the bath still, you had actually just tought about comming out because of the cooling water and got a bit taken aback by his soft voice.

Your eyes moved the bathroom door and seconds later it open revealing your perfect husband coming in gently with your bath robe in hand.

God he was so perfect! You tought before smiling at him and actually getting up slowly in the bath and coming out.

The second your feet landed on the floor, you felt two strong arms wrapping you into a soft material you knew was your bathrobe. The warth of it immediately brought you recomfort and shoots you a bit.

You could smell Elijah's soft perfume as he embraces you, making your heart a bit overwhelmed for a second. A soft breath left you and you turned around to face him and lay your head on his shoulder gently.

Your husband's hand at your actions came around your waist securely and his lips pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead as he hugged you back to him. You didn't speak up or say anything. After all you didn't dare because of how good you felt like this in his arms. Therefore, the first one to actually broke the silence was your original that wispered sweet little words in your ear.

Common sweety, I'll blow dry your hair, I don't want you to get sick.

After he said that, you didn't even had the time to move an inch before Elijah actually grabbed your legs and carries you to the lavatory counter. As he reached it, your vampire gently sat you down and took your chin between his finger. His eyes met yours and you whine when both your lips touched, sweetly but deeply.

He on his side let out a small growl and played with your wet hair for a good moment, just savouring your lips. When you actually part, you were breathing fast and you almost forgot about the cramps you had earlier and everything else around you. You could swear it was magical...Elijah always was such a good kisser. After all he had a thousand years of practice right. You looked deeply into his brown chocolate eyes and sweetly brought your hand to his jaw to caress it. He was controlling himself...you could see it. Yet, the last thing he wanted was to hurt you and you were really appreciative of it. He was always so careful and caring and you loved him for it.

I love you Eli...I'm sorry that I'm not feeling really well I know that you'd like to...

Your sentence was cut short by your husband's fingers tracing your lips, he was asking you silently to say nothing more.

Don't ever apologise for that babygirl, it's not your fault and I know it's not the moment or the time for this right now. I don't care about me love the only thing that matter is you. So now...I will dry your hair and we will get comfy in our bedroom together mh?

Your heart was hammering in your chest at how fucking lucky you were to have him. It felt so illegal and you couldn't say in words how much you love him. His words were soft yet serious and you just nod gently at them. You were more than willing for a movie and cuddle with him right now so you just sat there obediently as he started to blow dry your hair. It took a good ten minutes for him to be done and have your hair compleatly dry. You were really surprised at how good they turned up afterward thought. Elijah was apparently really talented at this too...even after so many years of marriage you were still learning things about him apparently.

Done princess. Elijah said sweetly as his eyes stare at you like a piece of art. Your cheeks reddened a bit because of the attention that you suddenly felt and you bite your lips shyly as you spoke.

Thank you daddy...

As you look away after saying that, Elijah layed his hand both side of your legs and angled his head to look at your eyes even thought you tried to prevent it. He had a sexy grin on his lips and a satisfied expression that you tought looked like Klaus for some reason. He didn't waist really long before taking your chin between his fingers and raising your head up.

Now now let's not be shy my perfect little love, it was my pleasure and you know that I love playing with your hair hum. Come now, let's get to bed babygirl.

You heard Elijah say before he picked you back into his arms securely and gently made his way to your shared room.

You sat down your chin on his shoulder and closed your eyes as he walk, the gentle rhythm making you calm and relax. At some point, none really long later you felt Elijah sat down and your eyes opened to look around you. That's when you actually realised everything he did to the room to please you. He tought of everything and it was starting to make you feel emotional. Honestly, what have you ever done to deserve a man like him.

Maybe your sudden sensibility was caused by your periods but you had no real way to know. The only thing you could say was that tears defenetly were getting down your cheeks by the moment Elijah sat you down on the bed beside him.

His expression instantly froze when he realise you were crying and his fingers softly came to your face to dry the tears off.

Sweetheart, what is it? Are you hurting again!? Can I do something to help? just please tell me love.

You sniffed a bit and couldn't help laughing a bit at his desperate need to help you. Elijah was the cutest really and you hated to worry him. Therefore, feeling the need to ease his mind, you immediately climbed on his lap and sat there comfortably. You circled your arms around his neck when you were against him and started playing with his short brown hair, your eyes looking deeply into his as you do. You could see your husbands feature relax a bit at your action and soon decided that you could say what you felt now.

It's ok, relax Lijah I'm fine I promise, it's just that...your so perfect with me. It makes me emotional to have a boyfriend like you that take care of me and love me like this...

A silence followed your words and after some seconds, you kissed his cheek and placed a gentle hand on his chest.

You didn't have to do all that Lijah...you trail off sweetly before looking all around the room with an unbelief expression on.

Elijah listened to your words attentively, never really letting go of your eyes. Then, when you stopped talking, he took hold of the hand you placed on his chest and kissed your wrist and fingers. His expression was soft and gentle, his touch sweet and caring.

At the contact, you moved your sight back to his and immediately met his deep gaze, feeling shivers traveling down your body.

Sweetheart...I would destroy the world if I needed just to make sure you are happy and well. This...he said as he gesture toward the room. This is absolutely nothing.

He was so sweet, you couldn't believe how much he was perfect it was still a mystery for you to understand why of all women he had chosen you to be his wife. You couldn't be happier and in love really, you would rather die than be parted from him. Right now as you sat in his lap and that your eyes were locked together it felt like paradise and you realised that your pain was gone, just like that. You sniffed a bit, tears slowly drying off on your pale face and then, as desperation hit you for more of him, you pressed your lips against his. This time, instead of being a passionate kiss, it was rather sweet delicate and full of love. It was perfectly depicting your feelings toward him right now and the hand playing with his hair just stopped as it moved to his cheek. You always thought that Elijah's lips were made to kiss yours and it was in those situation that this taught was confirmed. It all feels so good, so perfect calm, peaceful, you really didn't want to let go but at some point you had to. You shyly backed away from him a bit, breathing fast and apparently quite stunned. You looked like a lost little girl and Elijah was there to smile at you and kiss the tip of your nose. You are the cutest little thing my love. I can't stop looking at you.

His words made you blush and look away from him for a moment. Every time he was telling things coming from deep down like that you just couldn't stand it, it was way too cute and you felt like the first day you met him. It was so easy for Elijah to make you all flustered and you felt so weak when it comes to him. In an attempt to get back a bit of your sanity, you gently let your head fall on his chest and try to focus on calming your emotions. You took a bunch of deep breaths and between them you let some words slip out of your mouth. It was faint and weak but Elijah could hear it anyway.

And you are too perfect.

Following those words, you got yourself under control slowly and could look back into his eyes. A small but nonetheless adorable smile appeared on your feature and you gently moved a bit to come and sit on his lap. The second you did so, Elijah's hands came to the side of your face and laid soft caresses to your skin. It felt so sweet and soft that you let a shy whine out of your mouth. God he could have you under his charms so easily.

Thank you for all this daddy...I feel much better now.

You told him a bit childishly since you really couldn't help it. His sparkling brown chocolate eyes looking like diamonds and his love for you shining trough them was making your heart melt and cheek ablaise.

Elijah's arms circled around your waist and cuddled your body even closer to his when he saw how adorable you looked all shy and flustered. Honestly he just wanted to keep you close to him like this forever and watch a movie which he started preparing for by moving in the middle of the bed with you and laying down comfortably. After doing so, the original just kissed your lips quickly and placed a strand of your hair behind your ears while whispering something in them.

You are very welcome my darling, I love you so much and I'm glad you feel better sweetheart. Do you feel like watching our movie now ?

You let him lay you down asside of him and gently crawl even closer to him to press both your body together. As it was done, you nodded to indicate that yes you were indeed ready before laying your head on his shoulder. Elijah followed your indications by starting the movie and tidied himself with playing with your hair while watching. It was so appeasing and it felt so good that you started to feel sleepy quite fast. Elijah's perfume and his warth just added to this feeling and in no time you were asleep against him.

Elijah didn't realised it at first, he kept on watching the movie and playing with your hair until a mumble coming from you caught his attention. His eyes feel on your soft sleeping face and he sigh with a love sick look covering his eyes.

Awn my sweet little girl, falling asleep against daddy, you couldn't help yourself hum. Don't worry baby girl let's stop this now and just go to sleep.

Elijah said as he kissed your forehead and closed the tv that was still playing in the background. After doing so, the original gently lift you up a bit to place you under the cover making sure that you stay warm. He followed suit after you and joined you under the warm blanket, gently getting closer to you and engulfing your little body with his to sleep peacefully the rest of the night.

Good night my little girl, daddy will stay at your side forever.

[trippinsorrows]

looking through your eyes + thirteen

authors note: welp. the gala is finally here, friends! i hope you enjoy. well, the enjoyable parts.

ya'll remember that promo where kevin and sami tried to jump roman and he was furious, throwing shit out the ring, yelling at solo to position sami for the spear? that's how angry our collective favorite grump gets in this one...

if any cw/tw’s are missed, please let me know, and i will add them!

cw/tw: violence against women, scene of torture, fighting violence, language, angst, fluff, livid roman, and discussion regarding family loss.

song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes

masterlist

words: 11k

“Guys, is this really necessary?”

Truth be told, Solana already knows how both of her friends are going to respond. Bayley, however, is the one who briefly rips her focus from finding an x-large size in the top to the matching bottoms she’s picked out for Solana.

“It absolutely is necessary.” She takes a second to gesture to Solana’s outfit for the day. “You’ve come so far in so many ways, including not hiding your body as much, so we have to keep that going.”

“Exactly,” Naomi chimes as she reaches yet another dress to Solana, adding it to the pile of clothes she already has stacked on her arm. “Besides, who doesn’t love shopping with other people’s money?”

Other people would be Roman. Despite her horror at the totals every time Bayley and Naomi sucker her into these outrageous shopping trips, her husband never seems to bat an eye. It’s not unsurprising. She knows he’s filthy rich. But still, just the thought of spending so much money on clothes is a struggle.

And as Bayley adds the two piece suit to her arm, Solana starts to notice there’s a theme in the items they’re picking for her. A lot of bathing suits. Sun dresses. Shorts and thin sleeved tops. All appropriate for summer, of course. But, something else. 

Like a trip.

Curious, Solana suddenly asks, “why are we getting so many vacation type outfits?”

Naomi looks at her with the perfect confused expression. “What?” She laughs, picking up a bright orange top with a low neckline. “Girl, it’s summer. These are summer clothes.”

“But all these bathing suits—”

“Because we finally got you to embrace a two-piece, so now we need to make sure you have plenty of em’ whenever you and Roman decide to go for a swim.” Her wink makes Solana look away to hide her blush. She doesn’t regret opening up about trying to eventually consummate her marriage, but the way Naomi and Bayley never waste a chance to crack an innuendo can be….a lot at times.

“I’m gonna go bring these up front.” Solana gestures to the heavy stack of clothes that she’s holding. The second, or maybe third, stack they’ve accumulated for her. There’s always a check-in regarding if Solana likes it or not, which she appreciates. Even if they’ve become exceptionally good at distinguishing whether she doesn’t like something because it’s just not her style or whether she doesn’t like it because of insecurity. And when it’s the second one, they never hesitate to invoke their veto powers, instructing the cashier to ring it up.

Solana finds the sales girl from earlier up at the register, messing around on her phone as the line is non-existent. Her emerald green eyes dart up from the screen and an almost crooked smile falls on her young looking face. Solana would guess she’s either in her late teens or early twenties. 

“Got more for me?”

Solana giggles. “Just a little.” 

The girl also laughs, accepting the new pile and adding it with the others. She turns back around with a bit of skeptical look. “Hey, uh, can I ask you something?”

Curious, Solana nods. “Sure.”

She leans over the counter, red hair sprinkling past her freckled shoulders. “How did you meet your husband?” Eyes widening a bit, Solana’s surprise at the question must show. “I’ve seen you come in here a couple times now over the past few months, and every time you spend more than what my parents probably make in a month combined. And your ring is so beautiful. I guess I’m just kind of wondering how I can get lucky too. Cause your husband clearly loves you a lot to spoil you so much.”

Love…..

Not until this very moment has Solana ever thought about Roman and the word love in the same sentence. Hell, in the same universe. 

He’s….he’s done so much for her. Changed her life, for the better, in almost every way. And she’s gathered that he must care for her to some extent. Why else would he do the things he’s done? But love….that’s such a strong word.

Too strong.

Not to mention, he’d made clear to her the first time he came to visit her at her job that he could never love her. He was very honest about that, and in a weird way, she appreciated it.

But…..but he also said that she was a business arrangement, and nothing about the way he treats her feels like a business obligation.

So…..

It’s such a big thing, a big thing she’s not sure she wants to tackle in public, let alone while standing in front of a complete stranger. 

“He’s really great.” That’s the answer nonanswer that she settles on. “I just….I got really lucky with him.” Because she did. God knows she did.

“Fair,” the girl laughs. “Well, if he has any younger brothers who are kind and generous like him, I’m single.”

Solana smiles a bit when her attention lands on the word brothers. Siblings. Family. 

It takes her back to a few months earlier, the night he rushed off because of conflict with this Cody Rhodes person. The night he shared with her he also lost his mother at the age of ten.

But…..but there was more.

Brief glimpses, flashbacks almost of a different night. Her body pressed against his. His strong arms around her. Comforting her almost.

“....all of my siblings….”

“.....only one…..”

“....alone….”

And though she can’t make out everything, can’t remember verbatim what he’d shared with her that evening. there’s enough bits and pieces that she’s able to string together a coherent, heartbreaking realization. 

It wasn’t just Roman’s mom he lost that night.

He lost his entire family.

He was the only one who made it out alive. 

There’s a crushing, cumbersome weight Solana feels in the back of her throat as well as the pit of her stomach. She knows better than most how devastating the loss of family can be, but to lose your entire immediate family in one night. As a child?

That’s a pain she can’t even imagine.

Roman makes a lot more sense now, his coldness, the constant aloof disposition. The way he always has his guard up. Beyond just his title as Tribal Chief. How can one not lose trust in most and all things with a loss like that?

How can one love after a loss like that?

Realizing her epiphany is unfolding behind the sales girl, Solana manages to murmur out a, “I’ll keep that in mind” before excusing herself. She just needs some space. Needs some—

“Solana?”

The woman in question is close to the entrance of the story when a voice, both new and familiar, calls her name, forcing her to turn around. And it’s when she does so that Solana realizes why it’s familiar.

“Dom?”

It’s been years since she’s seen him, and he looks both the same yet different. Facial hair that seems uneven and unconnected with a hairstyle to match, bangs almost entirely obscuring his bushy eyebrows. He’s dressed in all black, clothes draped over his still slim build. Once upon a time, she would grow nervous around him, insecure of herself in comparison to someone she thought was so much more attractive than he actually was. Now though, she just wants to pretend this unexpected encounter never happened.

“What are you—”

“Did you get bigger?”

And there it goes. One simple question asked with almost a hint of a mocking smile, Solana is briefly reverted back to those days of deep rooted insecurity. Where she’d hold her stomach in around him and always only order salad the few times he took her out.

For a second, she’s tempted to cross her arms, suddenly regretting the top that doesn’t entirely connect with her high waisted shorts, exposing a strip of skin. 

“Damn. I really thought you would have gotten yourself together by now.” He scoffs, crossing his arms as he tilts his head. “You still not putting out? Cause your tits are actually not that—”

“Shut up.”

Solana isn’t sure who’s more surprised by her interruption. Him or her. Perhaps him, because his smile is dropped, replaced with an almost scowl.

“What the hell did you say to me, mami?”

But instead of cowering, instead of her anxiety growing at him, a man, moving closer to her. Trying to intimidate her. Solana doesn’t back down.

She doesn’t back down because she’s not scared. 

Chin lifted, she keeps her voice firm and unwavering. “You don’t get to talk about me anymore. Not my weight. Not my body. None of it.” Seeing the shock in his eyes at her actually standing up for herself, not allowing him to talk down on her like he always would, makes Solana’s assertiveness that much more fulfilling. “Now leave me alone.”

She turns to walk away when she hears footsteps behind her. “Where do you think—”

Call it the result of her training or the fact that she’s still very much in her feelings and head about her heartbreaking realization regarding Roman, Solana hasn’t a clue just what leads her to spin around and connect her fist directly with Dom’s nose. However, as soon as she does it, sees him stumbling back into a rack, she slaps her hands over her mouth.

“Oh my….” But instead of apologizing, instead of feeling terrible for hitting another human being, she finds herself almost laughing. A shocked, amused smile hidden underneath her palms. Her first is hurting a bit, but that sting is dulled by the satisfaction of his dumbfounded facial expression.

It’s a bit short lived though as he straightens up and starts to stalk toward her. “What the hell? You crazy puta—”

“What the fuck did you just call her?”

Solana turns to see Bayley and Naomi. It’s hard to distinguish who looks more pissed. Who looks more ready to commit murder.

Naomi steps forward. “I know you did not just call her a bitch.” She turns to Bayley. “That’s what puta means in Spanish, right?”

“It sure does.” Bayley answers, coming to stand beside Solana. Protectively. “He called her a crazy bitch at that.” She scoffs, dressing him up and down. “Everyone knows you’re an idiot, Dom, but I didn’t think you were that stupid. Who the hell do you think you are talking to her like that?”

“He’s my ex.” Solana answers, partially unsure why she would let slip a piece of information that could only make the situation worse.

Naomi’s mouth drops open, one thumb gesturing to him. “Dirty Dumbass Dom is your ex?” Her eyes widen even more. “The one who said—oh hell no, Solana. We’re kicking his ass.”

Bayley lifts her hand, effectively stopping Naomi as she moves forward, no doubt ready to lay into him. Head tilted to the side, she smiles. “No….I have a much better idea.” Solana is understandably confused as Bayley tells Naomi, “I still have my stuff in my trunk.” 

Naomi’s eyes light up. “Oh, this just got so much better.” She turns towards the sales associate who’s been watching everything unfold from a distance like it was a TikTok storytime. “Hold the items, please. We’ll be back in a little bit.” 

Solana turns around to see the girl just give a thumbs up and shrug. “Do what you gotta do.”

Dom groaning in pain is what makes Solana turn her attention back to him, only to see him doubled over, holding his crotch as Naomi hits him in his back and starts guiding him out the store. “Get walking. Now.”

“I’m not going any—-” He cries out once again when Bayley kicks him in his face. 

“Shut your bitch ass up!” She curses in Spanish, motioning for Solana to follow them. “Come on, girl.”

Confused but following suit, Solana asks, “what are we doing?”

Naomi answers with intentional vagueness. “Having a lil’ fun.”

Something tells Solana they have different definitions of fun. 

But she remains silent as her two friends quite literally drag Dom out of the store, through the rest of the stores until they reach the parking lot. She’s again surprised when they take him over to Bayley’s car. She unlocks it and opens the trunk, pulling out a black bag that she hands to Solana. Solana starts to peek inside when something else catches her attention. 

Bats. 

Metal bats. 

She has two. One of which she reaches to Solana.

“I—just what are we doing?”

Bayley’s smile is nothing but mischievous. “Having some fun.”

Naomi suddenly pulls out a knife and presses it to his throat. “Take us to your car. Now.” 

Dom is quieter than she’s ever known him to be as he follows Naomi’s directive, leading them to his fancy pickup truck that Solana, even with her limited knowledge about cars, can tell is worth a pretty penny. 

They make him unlock it to ensure it's actually his truck before Bayley starts to circle it. She nods, as if impressed. “Nice. Can tell you’ve put a bunch of upgrades in.” Solana’s mouth drops open as Bayley takes her key and slides it along the truck as she walks. “Might need a paint job though.”

“What the hell! You—” He’s silenced by Naomi kicking him in his back, forcing him to the ground, knife still pressed against his throat. “You’re all fucking crazy!”

That only makes Bayley smile as she directs Solana to lay the bag on the ground, bending over and pulling out a portable bluetooth speaker. It’s only when seeing the glitter, paint, and glue that Solana starts to put two and two together.

“Are we—”

“Uh huh.”

She gasps. “But, we can’t—-we…..” And suddenly, she’s trailing off, thoughts of all of the cruel, unkind things Dom would say to her, the way he would put her down, fat shame her, bringing her to tears. The memories help her tune to change a bit. “C—can we?” 

Bayley stands up and places a hand on her shoulder. “Solana…..you are Solana fucking Reigns. Wife of Roman Reigns, the Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table.” Out of the corner of her eye, Solana can see Dom’s eyes go wide as saucers. He clearly wasn’t aware of this. Of her marriage. Of just who she calls husband these days. “You can do whatever the fuck you want.”

Bayley’s hype is effective as she pulls out her phone, connecting it to the Bluetooth speaker. A small smile falls on Solana’s face as she hears the familiar and oh-so fitting song. 

Right now,

He's probably slow dancing with a bleach blonde tramp

And she's probably getting frisky

Right now,

He's probably buying her some fruity little drink

'Cause she can't shoot whiskey

Bayley gestures for Solana to move closer to the truck. “Your ex. First hit is yours.”

“Solana, wait, please. I—I didn’t know you were with him.” Dom’s pleading and begging is desperate and embarrassing. He looks like he’s on the verge of tears. “I’m—I’m sorry.”

Sorry.

For some reason, that word has never made her feel so irritated. 

“No, you’re not.” And without a second of hesitation, she takes the bat and swings it against his passenger window, effectively shattering it. On the side, Bayley and Naomi cheer her on, Solana not even needing encouragement as she moves around to the other side, doing the same to the driver’s window.

Bayley howls out, “let’s fuckin’go!” She takes the bat and brings it against the rest of the truck, creating dents, scratches, and anything else that can desecrate what she’s sure makes up for other deficits. 

Solana just took out the mirror on the passenger side when she hears Naomi aggressively yell at him not to ‘fucking move.” And Dom doesn’t, just watches helplessly as she moves over to the bag, pulling out the glue and glitter. She smirks in his direction, lifting the materials of destruction. “Time to glow, bitch.”

Solana laughs as Naomi rips open the door and starts pouring the deadly combination of glue and glitter all over the interior. 

I dug my key into the side of his pretty

little suped up four wheel drive

Carved my name into his leather seats

Took a Louisville slugger to both headlights

Slashed a hole in all four tires

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

The ironic and iconic lyrics serve as a manual and guiding force for Solana as she catches the tossed keys from Bayley who’s on the hood of the truck going HAM on the roof with the metal bat. Solana finds herself feeling almost giddy as she effectively slashes all four of his tires.

This is the last thing she ever saw herself doing: completely destroying her ex’s car without a care in the world, but it’s also exactly what’s happening.

And she can’t even say that she feels any regret about it.

Doesn’t feel bad about it.

Why should she? He never felt bad about any of the shit he did to her. 

And she especially doesn’t feel bad as she finds herself carving her name not only in his leather seats but the outside of the truck as well.

Naomi looks over at Dom who is now actually crying and laughs. “Look at it this way, Dom. We’re only doing this to your truck. Imagine what he’s going to do to you once he finds out what you did to his wife.” It brings her a great sense of satisfaction to see the terror in his eyes. 

It also makes her send out the brief video she recorded of Bayley and Solana beating the shit out of the truck with bats to her group chat with the men.

Naomi: Just doing hot girl shit. 💅🏿

Their replies start coming in only minutes later. 

Jimmy: Idk what’s going on, but I’m turned tf on. 

Jey: Why ya’ll females always go after our cars and shit? 

Roman: Why the fuck is it everytime you two take my wife out, it’s always some shit?

Roman: What the fuck is going on?

Naomi: Because you all asked so nicely 😐, turns out Solana used to date Dom back in the day.

Jimmy: Rey’s boy? The fuck? She too damn fine for that weasel. He could never handle all that ass.

Roman: One more time, Jimmy. Just one more time.

Jey: Naomi, please give us the rest of the story before Roman make your ass a widow.

Naomi: 🥴 Anyway, she told us some of the stuff he used to say to and about her, and honestly….even more trash than we thought.

Roman: Like?

Naomi: We promised Solana we wouldn’t say anything. Just know he was mean to her. So I guess she ran into him and he said some out of pocket shit, she got upset and PUNCHED him!!!!!!!

Jimmy: Soso HIT someone?!? 

Naomi: Sure did!

Jey: Damn! Our Soso growing up on us!

Roman: I wanna know what the fuck he said to her.

Naomi: Ask her when you get home. 🙄

Naomi: So we’re fucking up his truck while he watches helplessly. 😊

Roman: The dead don’t need cars anyway.

Roman’s chilly response is both given and, in her opinion, well overdue. She’s never heard anything nice or good about Mysterio’s boy, so she can only imagine the full extent of what he put Solana through. 

It’s why she’s mostly pleased by how Solana allows herself to let loose, to get her receipt. She deserves it.

As Solana and Bayley pour glitter in his gas tank, Naomi casually calls out, “what should we get to eat after this?”

________

“I committed assault and vandalism in one day. One.”

Roman smiles as he adjusts his tie, partially thankful his clearly distressed wife is unable to see his humored response to her frantic worrying. 

“That bitch got what he deserved, Solana.” Part of it. But, Solana doesn’t need to know Roman absolutely plans on making sure she never has to run into that alelo ever again. No one will. “You shouldn’t feel bad.”

She really shouldn’t, because he can only imagine what was said to her, the treatment she received from that piece of shit. None of which she deserved. All of which makes him want to say fuck the gala and get straight to torturing the fucker.

Through the mirror attached to his dresser, he watches the bathroom door open, Solana stepping out, a robe only partially covering the length of her red dress. Leaning against the door, she crosses her arms, clearly in her head over what he partially wishes he could have been present for.

He would have taken the metal bats to Dom himself versus the truck.

But, he’s also him, and she is her. 

Two very different people. 

Roman moves across the room, pulling her against him as her hands lay on his chest. “You really mean to tell me you didn’t feel the least bit good at fucking his shit up?”

And he sees it, the way she’s fighting back the agreement. He reminds, hands moving to undo her robe. “You’re not ever required to be nice to people who are cruel to you, Solana. You owe them nothing.” She seems to be mulling over his words as he pushes her robe off her shoulders, watching it fall to the floor. “Fuck….” She always looks good, but there’s something about seeing her in the red, the way the dress hugs her curves, taunting him, testing his resolve, that has them wanting to ditch the gala for an entirely different reason. “God, you’re beautiful.”

Her smile is bashful, but he’s pleased to see her not look away, to maintain eye contact as she murmurs a quiet ‘thank you’. She gasps a bit, informing, “Oh, I noticed earlier you were running low on your medicine, so I called it in and picked it up for you.”

That takes him off guard. It was on his to-do list. Somewhere on there, he’s certain. But for her to go out of her way to take care of it for him, it makes him feel something he can’t really explain. 

Solana’s smile dims a bit as she gently reminds, “you’ve gotta stay on top of that. It’s—it’s important, Roman.”

“Yeah…” It’s a response to her, but he’s still very much in his head over whatever this strange ass, yet somehow comforting feeling is. Fucking confusing ass shit. Clearing his throat, Roman forces himself to get his head back in the game. “Solana….” His tone is something different, something that makes her a bit nervous, that weighs down her previous smile even more.

She does her best not to reveal the alteration in her happiness level. But, she can just tell the mood is about to shift a bit. “Yes?”

To his credit, his hand moving in circles on the small of her back gives her a bit of comfort. Eases the weight of whatever he’s about to share. “Tonight..tonight I need to be on. Focused. The fucking annoying part about these things is that everyone’s there to see if they can seek out some type of soft point. Some kind of weakness.” 

This confuses her. Soft point? That’s not an issue for Roman, and she points out as such. “But, but you have no weaknesses.” 

Something flashes in his eyes and before she can say anything, not that she necessarily would, he’s back to explaining himself. “I don’t want you to think that I’m being cold with you. I’m not upset or avoiding you. I just—”

“You need to show them why you’re the Head of the Table.” His latter explanation provides the previously missing clarification. Reaching for his hand, she offers a gentle smile. “I understand.” 

“Do you?” For a second, it almost sounds like there’s a sense of urgency to his tone. Like he needs to know that she knows it’s nothing personal against her.

And it’s not really until this moment that Solana realizes there are two sides to Roman Reigns. The side that she sees, the almost gentle, caring side. The man who always goes out of his way to ensure her comfort and safety at all times. The man who’s changed her life in ways he’ll probably never be able to fully understand.

Then there’s the other side. The side that makes his name alone strikes fear in even the strongest of men. The most violent. The most diabolical. A god among men. 

Two completely different sides of the coin, but still a single coin.

This other side though, the side only she gets to see because it’s reserved for her. The side that might even be considered a form of vulnerability…..he only shows that with her, only shows it to her.

A….safe space, of sorts.

She is his safe space. 

This second, or maybe third, major realization of the day only makes that love aspect so much more confusing. Though it makes her heart swell to know she can provide that for him. That she can be that for him.

Pulling from floating thoughts, Solana brings herself back to the conversation at hand. “I do.” She offers an explanation of her own. “I know I asked if you’ll stay with me the whole night, but—but, I don’t think I need that.” And before he can protest, she gives the valid reasons why. “I didn’t know Bayley and Naomi would be there. I’m fine with them. I just—I didn’t want to be alone in a room full of people I don’t know.”

“I would never leave you alone.” He brings his hand to the back of her neck, informing in a low voice. “I might not interact with you much, but that doesn’t mean I’m not watching. 

“I know.” She cuts him off, again working to reassure him that he doesn’t need to be so focused on her. It’s clear there’s a task for the evening, a box that needs to be checked. And she doesn’t want to interfere in any sort of way. “I’ll be fine.” With a half smile, she reminds, “especially if there’s a bat nearby.”

A genuine smile grows on Roman’s face as he pulls her into him, Solana resting in his safe embrace. Being in his arms is starting to become one of her favorite things. “My fine ass, bat swinging wife.” She giggles against him as Roman drops his hand to her ass, giving a slap. 

“Let’s go.”

________

The minute the SUV door opens and Roman climbs out first only to offer his hand as Solana steps out behind him, her gaze taking in the beautiful mansion that looks like something out of a movie premiere, her anxiety starts to rise. Taking in the scene around her, she’s met with an actual red carpet leading up the steps to the mansion that has large, glass, double doors with swirled marble intricate designs that match the stone of the building. There’s a line of cars both behind and in front of their SUV, indicating guests are still arriving.

That makes her feel at least a little bit better.

She didn’t want to make Roman late. Even if something tells her he wouldn’t care one way or the other.

It’s not missed upon her how he gives her hand an almost gentle squeeze and rubs his thumb over her knuckles all the while keeping his gaze up and focused. She sees how his light eyes subtly survey the perimeter as he leads them up the steps. She stills when two large men dressed in black suits wearing earpieces, guards clearly, stop them with a raised hand.

“Please walk through—-”

“Do I look fucking stupid?” Roman’s question needs no answer as he motions for Solana to walk ahead of him through the metal detectors that separate attendees from entering. Slowly, with a bit of anxiety at somehow setting them off even though there’s no way for her to, she does so without incident. Roman does the same looking every bit annoyed as he feels, but it makes her feel a bit better when he takes hand in his again.

“No weapons allowed.” Is all he says. Calmly. Simply. Without anything else. She nods, figuring as such, but a brief sideways glance at her husband, and she wonders how beneficial that actually is when he, himself, is a walking weapon.

She’s more than certain he’s killed before with his bare hands. Not a weapon needed.

Solana takes in the setting before her. Circular tables litter the first and second levels of the beautiful building, intricate, opulent centerpieces decorating each table. A live band plays some unfamiliar song as guests mingle about, many of which are admiring the various art pieces that occupy almost all of the walls. The lights are dimmed and the smell of lavender and honey penetrates, creating an almost calming atmosphere that starkly contrasts the fact that almost everyone in eyesight is a part of the crime underworld. Trained, brutal killers. 

Including the man who continues to soothe his thumb across her knuckles. 

“Come on.”

Solana stays close besides Roman as he leads them through the sea of people. Many of which, men primarily, seem to settle their gaze on her, her chest, only to travel up to see the man beside her and smartly redirect their attention literally anywhere else.

In some sort of strange way, that brings a sense of comfort to her. To know that just his presence wards off any and all unwanted attention. Makes her feel safer.

Then again, she’s not sure if any environment exists where Roman doesn’t make her feel safe. 

She feels even better when she realizes where he’s led them. A table full of familiar, equally welcomed faces. 

Bayley is the first to greet her. She stands up from the table, and Solana is in awe of her teal dress that hugs every curve beautifully. “You look fuckin amazing.” She reaches over, pulling Solana away from Roman and into a hug. “Aren’t you glad you went with this one?” She gestures down to the dress.

Solana laughs and nods. “Yes. I am.”

Naomi and Jimmy are also standing now, forming an almost line to hug Solana. Naomi pulls her in even tighter. “How's the fist?”

Solana gasps as Naomi laughs only for Jimmy to crack his little joke. “I made sure ain’t no bats around just in case you get upset again, sis.” 

Allowing him to hug her, Solana rolls her eyes and murmurs, “that’s not happening ever again.”

“You might wanna watch your shit, Big Dog. Soso believe in breaking shit when she gets angry.”

Feeling a bit defenseless, she grasps at straws. “It was—it wasn’t like that.”

Jey scoffs, pointing out after downing some of his wine, “girl, we saw you on that video. You was swangin the hell out of that thing.”

Cheeks flushed, Solana sits down in the seat Roman has pulled out for her. Right next to him. Bayley on her other side. She looks over at Naomi. “I can’t believe you sent it to them.”

“Are you kidding? Our sweet little Solana beating the shit out of her ex’s car with a bat? That’s Kodak worthy.”

She rolls her eyes, eager to take the attention off herself as she notices Jey’s seat beside him is empty. “Is Nicki not coming?”

Naomi answers with a chuckle. “Girl, Nicki got banned years ago after she—”

Jey quickly jumps in, depriving Solana of a story she’s certain involved some type of altercation between him and his wife. Their marriage truly does not make any sense to her whatsoever. “Aye, we don’t need to rehash the past.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Naomi leans over and whispers, “I’ll tell you some other time.”

Solana hopes she follows through on that. Roman asks the twins something in Samona, the three of them starting a dialogue in a language only they can understand. And judging by the serious expressions on all of their faces, she surmises that it’s business related. 

Especially when Solo and Paul join the table. It’s almost like the ladies don’t exist after that, but it doesn’t bother Solana. It can’t when Roman already made it clear what tonight would be like.

It’s nothing personal. 

Just business. 

Bored and kind of eager to explore what seems like one of a kind masterpieces, she turns to Bayley and asks, “can we go look at the art?”

Bayley scoffs. “Hell yeah.” Standing up and adjusting her dress, she remarks, “it’s better than sitting here doing nothing.” Glancing at Naomi, she asks, “you wanna come with us?”

Naomi sucks her teeth. “Girl, you don’t even have to ask.” 

Solana smiles, grateful for their attendance and companionship. 

Roman’s deep voice cuts through with a simple two word command. “Watch her.”

She looks back at him, offering a small smile she hopes will settle any concern he may have about her. He doesn’t need to worry about that. Just needs to focus on himself. 

Linking arms with the other ladies, they move through the crowd, starting with the art near the entrance and making their way around. Solana seems to be the most intrigued by the pieces selected, trying to detect a theme in each one. Naomi and Bayley, however, seem to settle for a combination of roasting and admiring. More of the first than the latter. 

“Oh fuck, I was hoping they didn’t show up.” Solana is in the midst of deciphering a piece of abstract art when Bayley’s almost steel exclamation pulls her from her focus. 

Confused, she asks, “who?”

Naomi answers, subtly gesturing across the room. “Don’t stare. It’ll draw attention to us.”

Solana does her best, but it’s hard not to when she sees a set of new arrivals, most of which are absolute strangers, faces unseen prior to this very moment.

But one is not.

One is a face she saw, a person she spoke to, just days prior.

Brandi. 

She’s holding hands with a tall man, striking blue eyes Solana can see from nearly across the room, bleached blonde hair that somehow compliments his tanned skin. There’s a boyish look about him that Solana would guess is a facade, something that deceives people, cleverly hiding the fact that he’s just as much a killer as the guests around them. 

Before she can ask who he is though, Bayley offers introductions. “That is Cody Rhodes. And the pretty lady on his arm is his wife, Brandi.”

And just like that, Solana’s stomach drops. Her mouth feels dry. “Wife?” Solana looks back and forth between the couple. “Brandi is Cody’s wife?”

This just got a lot more confusing and complicated. The kind woman whose young daughter Solana ‘rescued’ is married to Roman’s greatest enemy? The man he hates most?

And suddenly Solana is thinking about her interaction with Solo after she mentioned Brandi’s name. 

He knew.

So, why didn’t he say anything to her?

Why didn’t he say anything to Roman?

________

Roman ignoring Solana for the majority of the night ends up being a lot easier than she anticipated. 

It’s quelled by the fact that she’s had one hell of a day, several major revelations clogging up her mental space. 

Remembering what Roman told her about his family.

Trying to figure out if she’s in love with Roman.

Trying to figure out if Roman could ever love her.

Accidentally helping out his sworn enemy’s wife.

Her personal guard being aware of this last piece of information yet saying nothing to her or her husband. 

Even though she’s sworn off alcohol after the last drunken disaster, there’s a burning temptation to walk over to the open bar and request something that can at least take the edge off. 

Something to help her clear her head.

It’s after dinner, and Roman, Paul, and the twins are moving around, briefly speaking with various guests. Roman and Paul, in particular, seem to keep the conversations perfunctory before moving onto the next one. Clearly checking off certain, necessary boxes.

Solana again is viewing artwork, doing whatever she can to distract herself when someone unexpected comes up to her.

“Hey.” She looks to her side to see no one other than Solo. He looks almost….nervous. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Does she want to talk to him at this current moment in time? Not really. But, something tells her she needs to. 

“Yes.”

Solo guides them to a corner that’s as close to secluded as they’re gonna get at the crowded event.

“Listen, I…..I wanted to apologize to you.”

Solana’s eyes widen. The surprises just keep coming. “Wh–what?”

“I know….I know I’ve been ass.” She wouldn’t necessarily use that word to describe his behavior and disposition, but it’s not exactly an inaccurate usage either. “It’s just….before you came around, I was just getting my chance to show Roman I deserve a seat at the table with him and my brothers. Then he assigns me to you, and I just feel like I’m not proving myself no more.”

Solana started to figure as such. Guessed that maybe he resented her to a certain extent because he’d essentially been assigned as her adult babysitter. That would probably annoy anyone.

“But, at the end of the day, Roman is the Tribal Chief. His word is final. I have to respect that.” He sighs, shrugging. “And as his wife, I gotta respect you too, which I ain’t been doing, so I apologize.”

Solana has never really been one to be on the receiving end of apologies from people. It’s still an uncomfortable experience as she murmurs an ‘it’s okay’ followed up with her question about his omission. “Why didn’t you tell me who Brandi was? Or tell Roman?”

He sighs loudly, voice lowering a bit as he explains his actions. “You’re new to the family, so you don’t know the history between Cody and Roman. Telling him would only kick off some shit. I figured if she came around again, then that I would tell you.” His explanation makes sense, Solana nodding slowly. He too doesn’t seem to want to upset Roman if possible. “I’m sorry for that too.”

She shakes her head. “No. I—I get it, and—I’m sorry, too, that you got stuck with me.” 

Solo smiles a bit. The first time she’s ever seen him do so. It feels…..odd. “You ain’t so bad.” He then asks, brow lifted a bit. “So, we cool?”

Solana swallows. What reason does she have for them not to be at this point? Everything he’s said makes perfect sense. “Of course.” Offering a small smile, she says sincerely, “thank you, Solo.” 

He nods, not saying anything else as he walks off.

Left alone, blowing out a big breath, she looks around. Solana spots the hall that leads to the ladies room. Making her way through the crowd, she walks in and goes into the first open stall. Relieving her bladder is an unexpected, small but significant enough type of relief. It feels similar to the peace she now has with the whole Solo situation. 

Solana walks over to the sink, pumping some soap into her hands, activating the motion sensor to shut on the water as she rinses, watching the suds empty down the drain. 

“Hey, sis.” 

Solana’s head snaps up the second she’s met with the voice she hasn’t heard in months. Her brown eyes, through the mirror, locking with an almost identical set of brown. The only difference being the glimpse of emotion that’s always been unfamiliar to her but a resident friend of his.

Hate.

Solana moves as quickly as she can, but it’s not fast enough, because he’s got a fist full of her hair. Wes yanks her head back and shoves her away, providing him the access he needs to bring his hand across her face, backhanding her so hard that it makes her double over in pain. 

Feeling an unfamiliar wetness, she feels her cheek, only to see blood on her fingertips. A glance at Wes' hand shows that the rings on his fingers must have cut her. 

But she can’t focus on that too long because his hand is wrapped around her neck as he thrusts her against the adjacent wall, searing pain shooting across her back at the violent impact.

She claws at his iron grip, his dark eyes narrowing against her. So much hate. “You dumb slut, did you really think you could hide forever?” Her eyes shut, her mind screaming Roman’s name in a way her mouth cannot. “Were you stupid enough to believe he could protect you from me?” Solana winces as he tightens his grip. “You’re a weak, stupid bitch and you always will be.”

Weak

Slut

Stupid

Dumb

Bitch

All words that she’s heard before. Cruel names she’s been called over the years in conjunction with beatings. Beatings like this that have left her bloody and broken. Feeling empty. Feeling like every hurtful thing she’s ever been called. Feeling that weak adjective that he’s always made her defining trait.

Solana closes her eyes and starts to retreat to that mental place of superficial security, bracing for what’s sure to be a beating like no other. She tries to return to that spot in her brain that’s accepted that this is her reality, and there’s nothing she can do about it.

The only problem is that that place doesn’t exist anymore.

She can’t find it.

She doesn’t feel weak or dumb or stupid. Doesn’t feel helpless and victim to his sadism.

Not even in this moment with his hand wrapped tightly around her throat. 

No….

She feels something else. 

Something much stronger, powerful, fueling.

Anger.

She’s pissed the fuck off.

It’s when she sees his other hand pull out a knife, that for a second, a brief moment, she hesitates. She hesitates, momentarily paralyzed by the fear and trauma that single item has brought her over the past twenty years. But, she closes her eyes and centers herself, tapping back into months of training, of sparring, of fighting.

Snarling almost, her rage and determination growing synchronously, Solana lifts up her leg with all the force she can muster, her knee coming into direct impact with Wes’s crotch area. Instantly, he releases her, dubbed over, groaning and cursing. Solana’s a bit lightheaded, but she powers through it, quickly grabbing the vase of flowers on the counter and swinging it with all her might over his head.

“Fuck!” He grunts, falling to the ground, his knife tumbling across the intricately designed tile flooring. 

Rushing to grab it, he does the same, but she manages to outpace him. Her speed gives her the upperhand. And with a cry of her own, she slams it down directly into the palm of his outreaching hand.

Wes howls in pain as she rips it out and kicks him in his side, watching as he tumbles onto his back. Solana slams her heel down on his other arm, pinning it and forcing the knife through his right hand this time. 

He cries out again and she backs away for a second, tempted to drive it through another part of him when he growls with all the rage and pain, “I’m gonna fucking kill you, you bitch!”

His threat, unlike countless times before, doesn’t frighten her, doesn’t make her tremble and cower in fear. 

It just pisses her off even more.

“Come on.” Solana motions for him to come at her, for him to climb off the ground and fight her. “Come on!” Using the bloody knife, she takes and slices it across her dress, allowing her more freedom and fluidity with her movements. Kicking the material to the side, she crouches down, egging him on. “Hit me, you son of a bitch!”

Finally to his feet, Solana sees him ready to charge at her. Her eyes never leave him, studying every single movement of his bleeding body. And just when he’s about to slam into her, she jumps to the side, watching him slam into the wall. Solana doesn’t waste a single second as she rushes behind him, lifts her leg and kicks him in the head, intentionally trying to drive her heel into his neck. His shouts of pain further her drive as she drops her leg, snatches him by his hair and slams the knife down into his shoulder. 

She jumps back as his body plops to the ground again, Wes rolling over and writhing in pain, profusely bleeding from several parts of his body, black suit staining dark, bloody red. Solana moves toward him, utilizing every bit of strength coursing through her body as she lands brutal kick after kick into his side, intentionally aiming for his chest. A kick for every broken bone, every bruise, every cut, every burn, every time he waterboarded her to the point where she was unconscious. Every fucking thing. She only stops when she hears the satisfying crack of one or several of his ribs. 

But, it’s not enough. It’s not enough because all she can think about now is all the times he made her bleed, made her scream, made her flail with fear and terror. It’s his turn now. 

Kicking off her heels, she grabs him by the collar of his suit jacket. “Come here, you bastard.” He’s heavy, and it’s a strain to drag him, but she does just that, pulling him into one of the stalls. Solana shoves the back of his head into the toilet and holds him down face first into the water.

Wes flails against her, but her grip is just like her spirit. Strong and unrelenting.

“How does that feel?” She taunts, tears streaming down her face because as vindicating as this moment is, it still doesn’t strip away the pain of years of abuse and torture. Yanking his head back, pleased by the way he coughs violently, gasping for air, she continues to mock him with the same taunts he always threw her way. “Say something, bitch!” Solana slams his head back down into the water. Repeating the same act of torture he utilized on her for years. 

She does it until she feels her strength starting to wane, eventually releasing his clumped body down as she backs away, leaning against the counter. 

Chest moving up and down from her heavy breathing, exhaust settling in as adrenaline fades out, it’s only then she turns to look at her reflection in the mirror. Face reddened, hair disheveled, red dress stained with his blood splatter, a mixture of her blood from the cut that probably wont need anything more than a liquid bandaid, and tears running down her cheek, yet she’s never felt fucking better.

This….this is liberation.

It’s freedom from shackles of fear. 

Fear of the one person she never thought she wouldn’t be terrified of. And yet, that same source of so much heartache lies before her: bloody, bruised, broken. 

All because of her.

Commotion outside the door and banging against it alerts her to the fact that somebody has clearly caught onto her absence. Roman, most likely. 

Body suddenly very heavy, she moves over to the door, leaning back against it, eyes landing on Wes who’s coughing up blood. For a brief second, she feels a sliver of sadness, if guilt. But just as quickly as it’s there, it’s knocked out the way, replaced with pride. Roman’s words from earlier in the night returning and cementing her satisfaction.

“You’re not ever required to be nice to people who are cruel to you, Solana. You owe them nothing.”

And fewer have been crueler than the man before her.

Voice and body trembling from the weight of it all, Solana affirms with all the emotion and sincerity through her body. “I am not scared of you anymore.” She turns the lock, stepping out of the way to avoid the avalanche of bodies about to enter. “And I never will be again.”

Sure enough, it sounds like a stampede. Solana closes her eyes, stealing a moment to rest and relish in her inner peace.

“Solana.”

His voice is urgent and pressured, and seconds later, he has her in his arms, holding her against him. She breathes in his scent, comforted by his arms around her.

“I’m fine.” She knows he needs to hear it, needs to hear the words come from her mouth. Even if she knows she probably looks anything but, clothes and body splashed with her brother’s blood. 

“Solo!” Roman’s voice is filled with unbridled rage that, any other time, she’d probably tremble at. But, in this moment, it’s valid as hell. And beyond that, she knows without a doubt now that he would never make her the object of his anger. “Pick him up!”

Solana sets her gaze on a barely conscious Wes as Solo drags him out of the stall. 

Jimmy and Jey being present, Roman’s fury, and Solo holding him in position are all the things that  alert her to what’s about to happen. 

Jimmy whistles, taking in Wes' battered appearance. “Damn, she beat the hell out of you!”

“No.” Solana says it too quietly, too softly. She has to place her hand on Roman’s chest to get his eyes back on her. “No.”

“I don’t want you to kill him.” And before Roman can protest, ask her if she’s lost her fucking mind, she steps toward Wes, explaining to all parties but directing her wishes to him. “I want him to live in fear….to know what that’s like.” Eyes burning with a fresh set of tears, she emphasizes. “It’s his turn to be scared.” Head tilted, scoffing a bit at how pathetic he looks, she mocks him one last time, “who’s the bitch now?”

Without even thinking about it, Solana lifts her hand and connects her fist directly with the side of his jaw, knocking him out cold. 

“Goddamn!” Jey shouts with all the amusement in the world as Roman pulls her back into him, lips pressed against her temple.

“I’m okay,” she reiterates, holding onto his sleeve. “I promise.” She is. Maybe better than she’s been in some time. 

Better than she’s ever been.

Roman steps back for a second and slides his jacket off, placing it around her. 

Solana reaches for his hand and gestures for the door. “Let’s go.” He still looks so angry, so furious, but she knows it’s not toward her. Nevertheless, he doesn’t need to stay in this headspace. Not with his high blood pressure. Not with his health at stake.

Roman says something to Solo in Samoan and begins to guide her out of the bathroom that’s been completely destroyed in the fight. A crowd of most of the guests has gathered around, clearly curious and wanting to know just what the hell happened. It’s fair and almost expected. 

But, despite looking like everything she’s just been through, Solana doesn’t shy away from the stares and whispers. Doesn’t necessarily care. Because as ironic as it is, this might be the most confident she’s ever felt in her life. 

But, it’s when she sees Cody and Brandi that Solana just knows something is about to go wrong.

Cody smirks, calling out loud enough for all to hear, Roman especially. “I guess women and children aren’t off limits after all.” 

There’s more to it. There has to be more to it, because the second Roman rips his hand away from Solana and charges at Rhodes seems to take even the instigator off guard. Instantly, Jimmy and Jey are rushing toward their cousin as he lands a blow against Rhodes that sends him flat on his ass. 

“Roman!” She calls out after him, moving in his direction, only to feel herself being restrained. She looks back and catches Bayley and Naomi looking with worried expressions. 

“We need to get out of here!” Naomi urges, but Solana can’t seem to look away from what’s turned into an all out brawl. Jimmy and Jey struggle to hold back their irate cousin as he spits venom against Rhodes who looks just as pissed off now, blood running from his nose.

“I’m the head of the table!” 

“I’ll whoop everybody’s ass around here!”

“This is my kingdom, you little bitch!”

“I can’t just leave him!” Solana pleads, trying to pull away from Bayley who clearly has no intentions on letting her go.

“He’ll be fine, Solana. But, he’s pissed the fuck off, and now Rhodes is pissed, and it’s about to be a shitshow that if he was thinking straight, he would never want you around.” Naomi explains and adds on, “the twins won’t let anything happen. I promise you that. Now let’s go.”

And despite everything in her screaming not to, to stay with him, to somehow find a way to help him calm down, there’s a logical part of her that knows the girls are right.

Even with him clearfly only seeing red as she continues to shout at Cody, the other man also being held back, barely, by his men. 

“There ain’t a man alive who can touch my button. If I had one, you wouldn’t be able to locate it. Can’t no man knock me out! I’m tired of being humble! I’m tired of letting people think they got a chance! The Tribal Chief is heads and shoulders above everybody! I run this all!”

Roman is almost a different person, so consumed by his rage, no doubt most of it because of Wes, Cody just being on the receiving end but not just taking it without responding with threats of his own.

“Time and place, you narcissistic son of a bitch!”

“Not everyone is fucking scared of you, Reigns!”

“I’ll fight you any fucking day!”

Solana’s eyes briefly lock with Brandi who’s also being rushed away, and she swears, she sees what looks like an almost sympathetic expression. Like if she could, she’d apologize.

It makes Solana frown.

Naomi pulls on her again. “Let’s go, Solana.” 

Security for the gala is now rushing over as some of Roman and Cody’s men are now throwing fists as well. Solana hates this. Hates how this has all played out. But, she also knows that she does nothing to help the situation by hanging around and risking getting hurt.

That’ll only upset Roman more. 

So even with a tremendous amount of apprehension, she allows them to guide her out, never once not thinking about the man she’s almost certain she more than cares about at this point. 

________

Solana is up and alert the minute she hears him enter their front door. In the living room, lying on the sofa, her go-to spot when waiting for his arrival, she partially expects him to walk in and meet her. The way he has several times before now, but this time is different.

Heavy footsteps don’t bring him to meet her. They instead carry him past the living room, through the kitchen, and outside the backdoor. 

Instantly, she’s sitting up. 

She goes to follow him when Jimmy and Jey enter the house looking every bit the night that they’ve all had. 

It’s a stupid question, and she knows as such, but she can’t help but ask. “How is he?”

Jimmy is the one to answer, blowing out a breath. “Honestly? Still pretty pissed but calm enough to come back home.” He then shares, “I tried to get him to sleep it off at my place, but he wanted to come back here.

Good. Solana doesn’t say it, but she sure is thinking it. Not even from the perspective of her being uncomfortable being in this big house all by herself with just Dulce. That’s maybe a part of it, sure. But, the biggest thing is that this is their home. And if he needs something, she wants to be there to help him with whatever that is.

“It’s okay. I can watch him.”

“Solana….” Jey cuts in, stuffing his hands in his suit pocket. “You know he would never hurt you, right? I know he was definitely on one tonight, but—”

Seeing where this is going, she cuts in, calm but firm. “I’m not scared of him. I—I know he would never hurt me.”

They seem to be pleased by her answer but still a bit hesitant, Jimmy offering, “if you want, I can stay over tonight. Make sure—”

“He’s my husband.” She swallows, nothing unwavering about her reiteration. “I’ve got him.”

Jimmy and Jey still look unsure but follow her wishes. Each giving her a hug before reiterating to call them if she needs anything. She’s thankful for their support but mostly their making sure Roman made it back home safely. 

Solana carries Dulce up to her shared room with Roman and closes the door to avoid any unnecessary interruptions. It’s only then she finally makes her way back downstairs, venturing through the living room and kitchen to the backdoor. Hand on the knob, Solana doesn’t hesitate to turn it, bringing her to the man she’s had on her mind nonstop the past few hours.

Roman’s hulking figure is plopped down on the edge of the patio chaise lounge. His button down shirt is discarded, his muscles stretching against the cotton of his white undershirt. Playing with the sides of one of his shirts she threw on after her shower, Solana sees there’s no need to announce her presence.

He’s already aware. 

With calmness that contrasts his demeanor just hours earlier, he advises, “you should be asleep.”

His voice is hoarse, heavy, weighed down with something he seems keen on internalizing. No matter how much it wrecks him on the inside. It brings a frown to her face and a pain to her chest. 

Swallowing, Solana moves closer to him, calmly countering, “you know I won’t sleep until I know you’re okay.”

“Okay….” Roman chuckles, and it’s almost bitter. An almost ironic tone as he repeats her chosen word. “Solana, nothing about tonight was okay.”

Her heart grows even heavier than it’s been following tonight’s events.

It tears Solana up to see him in this state. To see and almost feel his turmoil and not be able to do anything about it. Because he doesn’t want help. Because he’s so used to handling everything on his own, as he’s stated to her multiple times before.

But, that’s the thing. He’s not alone.

She just needs to get him to see and understand that. 

Setting aside any reservations and trepidation about her next steps, she closes the distance between them, kneeling down on the patio stone directly in front of him. Naturally, his eyes lock with hers, and for a second, she sees a tremble of his nearly impenetrable wall. “Roman….” One hand on his knee, the other reaching to grab his hand. “Please….please talk to me.” His eyes briefly dart away, a sign of her words doing something to his resolve. “Whatever….whatever happened tonight, let me help you work through it.”

He sets his focus back on her, the hand under hers lifting to cup her face, thumb ghosting over the cut she cleaned, tended, and sealed with a liquid band-aid. “You got hurt tonight….”

“I don’t care about that.” Her dismissal is aggressive but slides into something soothing almost as she reiterates. “I—I care about you.”

His jaw clenches. “I lost my temper tonight.”

“I don’t care about that either.” Again, she’s dismissive, pushing aside anything that could prevent him from hearing her right now. Really hearing her. “I wasn’t scared of you. I’m—I’m never scared of you, Roman.” Swallowing, she stands up and moves herself on his lap, relieved when he wraps his arms around her. “But…I was scared for you.” She pushes back some of his hair that came out of his always neat bun during the brawl. “I just….I wish you would talk to me.”

But, she also knows that she can’t force it. Can’t make him. Even though it physically aches her to know he’s dealing with so much and won’t let her help.

Won’t let her be there for him the same way he’s been there for her.

“Cody and I grew up together. We were….good friends.” Solana isn’t sure she’s still breathing as Roman begins to explain in a low voice, his hand moving soft circles against her side. She says and does nothing, not wanting to do anything to risk deterring him from this rare occurrence of vulnerability. “We…we bonded over being groomed to take over our families legacies. His…his father was good friends with mine.” 

Friends….

It feels almost impossible to imagine Roman and Cody as ever being anything more than sworn enemies. She’s not sure she’s even seen a deeper level of hatred than what she saw in their eyes tonight.

“It was my 10th birthday. We were gathered at the house to celebrate, and it was fine, until it wasn’t.” Roman grows quiet, as he clearly hesitates. She starts to tell him that he doesn’t have to, that she doesn’t want to trigger him. But, he continues. “I don’t remember everything. Just the sound of bullets, screams, and then heat from the fire that someone set.” Fire… Solana’s eyes naturally drop to his tatted arm, tribal ink covering burns he clearly received that night of pure hell. Eyes watering, she continues to listen to him relive what sounds like a night of horror. “I was the only one who survived. My parents, my aunt, uncle, and my seven brothers and sisters were all killed.”

 “Oh my god….” Her heart literally breaks in that moment, hearing him confirm what she’d remembered just earlier in the day but didn’t want to actually believe. It’s just too devastating. To lose his entire family in that manner, all while celebrating his birthday of all days….it seems inconceivable.

Solana isn’t sure she’s ever felt this much sympathy towards another human being. 

Roman’s voice, however, never wavers. She can see he’s doing his best to simply recall and not feel. “And it wasn’t until I was 14 that a mutual friend of ours at the time, Seth, let it slip while he was in one of his manic states, that I should talk to Cody about what really happened that night.” His voice takes on a darker, angrier tone, and she can feel him shift underneath her. “So, I did, and I found out….that his father was responsible for the hit. That he betrayed my father. And that Cody knew the whole fucking time.”

There’s understandable anger in his words. Anger at such cruel betrayal. “For four fucking years, he pretended to be my friend. Pretended like he didn’t fucking know that his father was the reason my family was all dead.” His voice dips into something low, something much darker. “I can’t tell you…much after that, because I was so angry that all I saw was my rage.”

Solana brings her hand to his chest, a comforting placement, though she’s not certain anything could comfort this level of trauma. 

His expression is blank as he shares coldly. “I killed them all. His parents. His siblings. Everyone. I left him the same way his father left me: alone.” He swallows thickly, still not looking at her. “I told you before, Solana. I’m not a good man.”

“That’s not true.” She finally speaks, voice hoarse,  eyes watering at the truth of it all. She had no idea he’d been through so much. Lost so much more. “I don’t think I’ve met a man better than you, Roman.”

She’s never met any man like Roman.

Moving her hands to cup his face, it settles her a bit that he’s finally looking at her again. Closed off and back to being unreadable, it’s still eye contact. And she’ll take it. She’ll take whatever she can get from him. “No one….no one can know what it’s like to lose like we’ve lost. I….I get you. And….and I think you get me too.” Sniffling, she shakes her head, never wanting to invalidate his experience. “And no, I know….I know it’s not the same, but what I do know is that I haven’t felt alone since…since being with you.” She hasn’t felt a lot of things since being with him. Hasn’t felt the same amount of depression and emptiness. Just happiness and joy. “And I don’t want you to feel alone either, because….because you have me, and….and I’m not going anywhere.” Her tone drops into a soft whisper. “Haría cualquier cosa por ti.”

Because I love you.

But, that can’t be stated. Not aloud. Not right now. Maybe not ever. It’s not what he needs. Because it’s for selfish reasons. Because it would make her feel better to verbalize what she’s finally realized what she’s been feeling towards him. What she feels for him.

Love

“Besides….” She offers a small smile, messing with his beard, knowing the weight of this conversation might be too much for him, offering him a bit of a detour. “Who else is gonna bail me out the next time I fuck up someone’s truck?”

He cracks a small smile, and it makes her heart swell. It’s the best thing she’s seen all day. “I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you cuss.”

Relieved to hear a growing lightness in his voice, she buries her head in the crook of his neck, murmuring, “guess you’re rubbing off on me….”

Roman brings his hand to her hip, tugging her closer, kissing her temple. Lips pressed against her forehead, he murmurs. “I’m proud of you.” That means so much to her. His approval. “Cause while I hate to agree with my dumbass cousin, Jimmy was right. You whooped his ass.”

Solana can’t help it. She laughs into his chest, looking up while biting down on her bottom lip. Voice quiet, she expresses both a question and agreement. “I did, didn’t I?”

He rolls his eyes but nods, bringing his hand to her cheek, thumb and index finger lightly cupping her chin. “Sure did, baby…“ He doesn’t say anything after that. He doesn’t need to. Neither does she. She just nestles closer to him as he stands up, still holding her, grip protective and firm. 

Like he has no intentions of letting go.

Solana prays he never does. 

Because while Roman Reigns is the last person she ever expected to end up with, to care for, to love…..that’s exactly what’s happened.  

That’s exactly who she’s with.

Exactly who she cares for.

And exactly who she loves.

________

Xavier stands in front of the hospital bed, a hospital bed he was still in days prior, where his son stood before him as they schemed together to create what he thought was a foolproof plan. It’s a plan, however, that didn’t go the way he intended.

Far from it.

Wesley was always supposed to attack Solana in the bathroom, was supposed to rough her up a bit to see if Reigns would come to her rescue, the prediction being he’d move to kill Wes but Solana would interfere, would stop him.

Because his stupid second born has always been a victim to her love mentality. Would be blinded by whatever fruitless hope she still has that some part of him or his son loves her. Because they’re family.

But, that didn’t happen.

His son attacked her, yes, but the bitch fought back.

And now he watches helplessly as a brutally beaten, stabbed Wesley is laid up in the ICU yet again, but this time in a coma. Limited brain activity. 

Prognosis….not well.

And it’s all because of her.

Xavier is a prideful man, but even he can admit he never saw this coming. Never anticipated Reigns would have the girl trained, never thought his weak ass daughter could be capable of something like this.

Capable of almost taking away his son. His heir. 

Xavier is seething and would shoot her dead right now if he could, but he has to be smart. Especially after tonight, which wasn’t an entire loss.

He snatches his phone, sending out a text. 

Xavier: I want that bitch DEAD.

Xavier: We’ll proceed with the plan.

Because while most will see Roman’s outburst as expected given Cody Rhodes was present and almost everyone knows the history there, Xavier knows better.

Xavier knows that Roman’s rage was primarily at the fact that Solana had been attacked, confirming what he suspected.

And he’ll give the bastard credit. From what he heard, Reigns did a great job masking his feelings for her, practically ignoring Solana the entire night. 

Never showing his hand.

But, he did.

He does care for her.

And just that thought brings a wicked smile to Xavier’s aged face. 

After all these years, the impossible has happened. 

Roman Reigns finally has a weakness.

________

translation: "i'd do anything for you."

[pinayelf]

I love the different body types for women in coral island. I like seeing millie and Nina have tummy chub in bathing suits, I like that suki's stretch marks are visible. i like that when you slide the slider up the cc for the farmer's body type that it looks like mine

[warping-realities]

Commitment - Part II

The next morning Peter woke up alone on the living room couch with no memory of how he ended up there and no idea why he was wearing only a pair of shorts instead of his usual pajamas. Would the wild sex with Julia be enough to alter his state of consciousness? Remembering that made him feel an erection start, and as he moved to deal with that discomfort (how could he be excited right after having sex like that?) he was surprised by the lean and defined physique he found on his way. As good as Dan was, that must be impossible, he thought in disbelief. However, any doubts were quickly forgotten as he felt the firm muscles under his hand, culminating in the best jack off session he had ever had in his life, even though he was tense and had to hold himself back so as not to wake up his girlfriend in the next room.

Only later did he think about the oddness of the situation again. After a long bath while Julia was still sleeping, Peter admired himself in his bedroom mirror as he adjusted his tie. It seemed impossible that a single session would make such a difference, he thought, watching his biceps stretch the sleeve of his suit to the limit. Well, if it seemed impossible it was because it was, as good as Dan was and Peter would have to admit that he was excellent despite his douch style, it wasn't as if Peter was a stranger to bodybuilding training, as his lean defined physique demonstrated.

After getting ready, he picked up his backpack with his gym clothes and headed to work. He was rising through the ranks at a law firm specializing in environmental causes, something that had displeased his father, a Republican senator with contacts in the oil industries. But he had long been accustomed to being a disappointment to the old man. Despite his good physique and liking to follow the NFL, he had never competed in any type of sport, he was also never the womanizing type, which could please his father's conservative audience, but the choice to date a staunch Democrat did not please the old man. , mainly because behind the facade Senator

Wexham had a bunch of beautiful lovers and had expected his son to do the same. In such away that the choice for a sustainable lifestyle was the final nail in the coffin of a long-dead relationship.

The work went well, although the more the hours passed, the more Peter became anxious about his second session with Dan, with the last few minutes seeming to drag on for hours. When he arrived at the small studio he found the teacher finishing his own training and he couldn't help but be impressed and even envious of his gigantic physique, making him wonder if he could one day reach that size.

Hey Pete, I'm almost done here, why don't you go get changed so we can get started?"

Peter was so shocked by his own thoughts that he didn't even correct Dan when he was called the abbreviation of his name. After putting on his training clothes he met the teacher who quickly started with his work and small talk, the difference is that this time Peter had the previous night's game to comment on, he didn't know what had gone through his head when he said that he wasn't interested in football, perhaps it was the fear of being asked to play at some point that he justified to himself. But the subject quickly moved back to the topic of women and as much as Peter tried his best not to respond to those comments, he no longer felt so uncomfortable. After all, it's not as if he'd ever do anything to betray Julia, it was just a conversation between friends. And after that the subject turned to video games, something that was also never of interest to Peter, which again surprised Dan who invited the student to play COD with some of his friends. Which again highlighted how different the two were even though the sessions were going well.

In fact, so well that after taking a shower in the studio's small bathroom, Peter stopped to admire himself in the mirror. His arms are jacked, his shoulders are large and he had a growing six pack.

Getting a physique like that was worth overcoming any differences he had with Dan, he thought as he left ready to said goodbye to the personal trainer with a high five.

"You were the last customer Pete, I'm going to close here and as soon as I get home I'll call you

so we can play COD, so there should be time for you to eat something first"

"Hum .... ok." Peter replied without really understanding, he thought he had made it clear to the

other that he didn't have a video game.

Upon arriving home, any thought about the strangeness of Dan's comment immediately

disappeared from Peter's head as his sense of smell was hit by a wonderful aroma coming from

the apartment's kitchen. When checking the origin, he discovered Julia preparing dinner,

something unprecedented in the couple's life, as she had always been averse to any role in the

kitchen.

"I'm glad you're here babe, I'm preparing roast beef with mashed potatoes so I don't take you off

your diet."

"Hmm... thanks babe... but what's the occasion?"

"Ocasion? None…?"

"Well, I'm usually the one who cooks."

"I didn't know I was dating some jokester. Peter, putting packed lunches in the microwave doesn't count as cooking."

"What are you talking about? Last night I made you a lasagna, there must still be some leftovers in the fridge." Said Peter, opening the refrigerator door and finding only a few bottles of milk and lots of eggs.

"Babe, enough cutesy, why don't you get changed and go to the living room and play some video games with your friends while I get everything ready here? Ahh, I left a protein shake ready on the table."

Peter, without knowing what to say, took the shake and went to the couple's bedroom, but not before going through the living room and seeing a PlayStation 5 next to the gigantic flat screen television. While drinking the shake he tried to rationalize the situation, perhaps this was a joke that Julia and Dan were playing with him, after all the two had talked to schedule his first class.

This would justify his girlfriend's strange behavior. Maybe the video game was a gift from her to him. Still, it was a strange gift. And what about her subservient behavior? Very strange, he

thought as he put on a tank top and shorts and walked into the living room. As he stared at the console controller held in his hands, a text message from Dan arrived on his cell phone.

"We're online, all you need to do is log in."

So with a familiarity that he shouldn't have, Peter turned on the console, which in turn had his account logged in, with several games downloaded, as if he had the habit of playing frequently. Which increased the strangeness of the situation even more.

However that line of reasoning was interrupted when he saw Dan's invite appear on screen and he put on the headset before joining, hearing his personal trainer voice.

"Hey bro, how are things at home?" Dan asked.

"They're ok, thanks, Dan." Peter replied, preferring not to think about all that strangeness.

“Hey Dan who’s this?” came a voice as douch sound as Dan's.

“Hey, Trav! This is Pete, he’s a friend from college. We met again this year and he recently started training with me and we started playing COD together after work and he's great so I invited him to play with us."

Peter listened to that with a frown. What the fuck was Dan talking about? Apart from the training part, the rest was all a lie, he opened his mouth to deny the other but was interrupted by Dan before he even started to speak.

"Trav, it was Pete who gave me the loan so I could turn the studio into a real weight training gym. He likes to act humble but he's full of money, isn't that right, Pete?"

"I thought we were here to play Dan, let's see how Trav does, because I'm tired of humiliating you!" Pete replied, suddenly remembering all the games played against his old college friend.

"Ouch, that one hurt. But I'm going to get my revenge tomorrow Pete, it's going to be leg day, I'm going to make you beg like those college girls begged for the senator's son's attention."

"Your threats won't do anything like their pleas."

"Wife alert in the area! His girlfriend must be nearby Trav. The good guy facade increases in her presence. But make no mistake, this guy is a beast."

"I don't know what you're talking about, but you're dead, asshole." Pete added while his avatar

ended up with his friend's.

"Ah, tomorrow you're going to be so fucked up Wexham."

"If you keep threatening me I'll come straight home from work and show up again just in time to finish you off at the game."

"Work? What work? I thought you were doing nothing until your father's next campaign."

What was Dan talking about? Of course he worked, he worked with... with... why couldn't he remember???

"Babe, dinner is ready." Julia warned, interrupting the growing anguish inside him and giving him an excuse not to answer Dan.

"The lady boss said the food is ready, see you tomorrow Dan. It was a pleasure Trav." He said, leaving the console and avoiding thinking about what had happened.

Dinner was excellent, but Pete ate automatically, much more to consume the amount of carbohydrates and proteins in his diet than to enjoy the meal. Something that did not go unnoticed by Julia.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, everything's fine." He replied, still thoughtful.

"Peter it seems like you're in another world, I spend the day alone taking care of the apartment and cooking meals for you while you spend the day out at the gym or with your friends, the least

I want is a little attention when we're together ."

"What are you talking about? Spending the day taking care of the house? But you don't work?"

"It's funny that you think that what I do isn't work when you only work when your father forces you to by threatening to cut off your allowance." She replied, clearly hurt. Making Peter look at

her with raised eyebrows for a few seconds while new connections and memories formed in his brain before he responded.

"I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean anything wrong, of course taking care of our home is something very important and that I really appreciate. The food is wonderful. But please don't talk about my father's allowance because it's what supports us both. " He said getting up and staring at his girlfriend leaning against the kitchen counter, while seemingly casually he put his hand inside his shorts and look to her with puppy eyes, wich always made woman do whatever he wants. Althoug he would rather do the tasks of a woman in his home to admit that Dan was right about the kind of man who he is.

"I'm sorry too Pete, it's just that I try so hard to please you and..."

"I know babe, so let me make it up to you how you like." He said, picking her up to take her to the bedroom for another night of wild sex.

To be continued…

[redrose10]

Here is #4 from the picture game! I hope you all like it.

Warnings: Bullying, body image issues, slightly suggestive if you really look, swearing

Nervously you walked around your room slowly packing things to try and slow down the inevitable.

“Babe why did you sign up for this if you didn’t want to go?”, your boyfriend Yoongi asked from the bed where he was sat taking the clothes out of your bag and folding them neatly before placing them back in the bag. He had always hated the way you packed for trips.

“I dont know. It sounded like a great idea at the time. A week away at a beauty convention in a high end resort getting pampered and relaxing. I was hoping maybe I’d meet some friends or something.”, you sighed.

He came over and wrapped his arms around you, “Well I’m not going to force you to go but it does sound nice. Maybe go and check it out and if you don’t like it then you can leave and come home.”

You nodded and returned his kiss while secretly hating how level headed he always was.

The resort was beautiful. No city noise, no pollution. You could actually hear the birds chirping and see the fluffy white clouds. The lobby smelled like coconuts and hibiscus and made you think of relaxing on the beach.

“Sparking water with lime?”, a woman asked greeting you as you entered. You nodded and accepted the drink before heading to the front desk.

Check in was easy and within no time you were relaxing on a huge king sized bed as you read over all the options for different classes and events. There were makeup classes, hair tutorials, like eight different types of massages, mud baths, tea baths, skin care options, nail salons, the list went on and on. The food menu also looked incredible and you couldn’t wait to indulge.

The first day was great. You eased into the event opting for just a mani/pedi and a make up class on how to choose the best foundation for your skin. You snacked a little in the dining hall but mostly ordered room service and relaxed in your room.

When Yoongi called to ask how things were he reminded you that you were supposed to be trying to make friends.

So the next day you got a little more adventurous and tried the tea bath. You made sure to get there super early when no one else was there which defeated the purpose but you really didn’t want anyone to see you in a bathing suit.

Then you went to one of their skin care routine classes where experts would come around and help you with different moisturizers and cleansers. You learned a lot and you also met a woman there, Mae. She was about your age and lived a few blocks over from where you did. She was really nice and you had a bunch in common and she was also hoping to make friends. That evening Yoongi said he was proud of you for going out of your comfort zone and making friends.

The next day you and Mae had decided to get some breakfast from the buffet bar before trying out the makeup class again to learn about choosing the right eye liners and how to apply them to best suit your eye shape.

You and Mae were sat at a back table enjoying your breakfast. She was telling you about her boyfriend Namjoon and you told her about Yoongi. You happily agreed when she suggested having the two of them meet because they would become instant best friends meaning lots of double dates for you all.

“Well hopefully there’s even any food left.”, you heard someone say followed by giggles. To your left stood three women. One clearly the leader and the other two her little followers. They were all staring at you and Mae and smiling.

“Well I bet all the fruit is still left but I’m sure every pastry is gone.”, another one of them said before they all erupted in laughter.

“Just ignore them. They hate themselves so they want everyone else to feel bad too.”, Mae said noticing your change in demeanor. You gave her a sad smile but the damage was already done.

That night Yoongi knew something was wrong when he called to talk to you but he didn’t pressure you to tell him. He just reminded you that he was there for you which you appreciated.

The next day the words of the three woman still stuck with you. You thought about them as you ate your breakfast. You thought about them while Mae got a massage and you sat on and watched too embarrassed to remove your clothing.

In the evening you and Mae were sitting at one of the outside tables enjoying an after dinner coffee when your three friends from the other day came walking up.

“Can we help you?”, Mae spat. You were so glad to have her around.

“Oh be nice. We just got back from the dessert hall. We couldn’t finish what we ordered and we know you two won’t let it go to waste.”, the ring leader laughed.

Her and one of the other woman sat down nine pieces of cake and three eclairs plus a box of macarons in front of you two.

“This is enough for a snack for you two right? I mean it should last you until second dinner.”, she shrieked followed by her companions cackling like a couple of hyenas.

You could feel your eyes start to burns. Like he could sense your distress your phone started ringing and a smiling photo of Yoongi popped up on the screen. His contact name showing as ‘Future Husband 💕’. You let the phone go to voicemail not wanting him to hear you cry.

“Future husband? No way is that guy with you. He is waaayy to hot for someone like you. He has to be using you for something.”, the woman laughed.

It felt like you had been stabbed right in the chest. You’d always thought Yoongi was too good for you, that he was way out of your league and could do better. It took him a long time to break down your walls and squash your insecurities and this bully was undoing all of that in a matter of a couple days.

Mae spoke up from next to you, “Actually yeah he is her boyfriend. I’ve met him and he loves her a lot actually which is something none of you have experienced.”

Gently you bumped her knee underneath the table as a sign of appreciation for her standing up for you.

One of the women went to speak when Mae dramatically pointed at the itinerary in front of her, “Hey look, there’s a course on how not to be a stuck up bratty bitch that no one will ever love. You should head over there. You wouldn’t want to miss it.”

The three scoffed before mumbling something and finally walking away.

“Hey don’t listen to them. They’re just jealous that you have a handsome guy who clearly loves you and they don’t.”

You tried to smile. You knew what she said was true and that Yoongi loved you. He’d proven it time and time again but it was still difficult to shake the feeling that it was all in your head.

Mae took all of the desserts and started handing them out to people so that they really didn’t go to waste. She kept one slice of strawberry cake for you both to share. To be nice you took a few bites but all you could taste was bitterness.

Yoongi called you later that night again like usual.

“Hey how’s it going? Having lots of fun?”, he asked oblivious to what had happened.

You remained silent knowing that if you spoke he’d hear the shake in your voice.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“No nothings wrong. Sorry I’m just tired.”, you said hoping it sounded believable.

“Mmhm make any more friends?”, he asked and you knew he’d caught on already. Yoongi had worried something like this would happen. He knew if your insecurities and how you always compared yourself to others.

“Yeah it’s been really fun.”, you whispered feeling your throat burn.

“Do you want me to come up there? I’ll bring you home or even just visit for a little. I can tell you’ve been crying. Y/N please talk to me.”

As much as you would love to be engulfed in a big Yoongi hug right now you would never want him to go through all that trouble.

You chuckled, “No no don’t do that. I know you’re really busy. Plus it’s an all female event so you wouldn’t be able to come in anyways.”

“Well we could pretend that your parents hate me and you have to sneak out and then meet me outside by my car?”, he said with a playful hint to his voice.

“First off my parents love you, sometimes I think more than me and I’m just pretty tired honestly. I’m gonna get some sleep. Mae wants to go for an early morning swim tomorrow.”

He sighed knowing that you weren’t going to open up to him right now but he accepted it, “Alright baby. I love you. Call me if you need anything.”

The next day you did go for a swim with Mae. It was relaxing and helped your sore muscles. Afterwords you got showered and changed because Mae wanted to catch this seminar on properly curling your hair.

The room was packed. You really regretted agreeing to go but you were already signed in and registered. In the middle of the room a woman was getting her hair curled with a large group of people surrounding them.

You and Mae were standing in the corner when you saw your bffs from the whole dessert debacle walk by. You expected them to say something mean or snarky to you but they were too busy grumbling to each other about something else.

“Who is she?”

“She’s so pretty.”

“Right…her legs are incredible.”

“She’s not that great. I’ve definitely seen better.”, their leader rolled her eyes and they all left the room.

You and Mae both looked at each other before shrugging and moving to one of the empty tables when you got a better view of the woman everyone had been talking about.

Not only could you recognize those beautiful eyes and cute nose from a mile a way but that woman was also wearing your favorite skirt and a wig you wore for Halloween three years ago.

“Yoongi what are you doing here?,” you asked trying to act mad when he finally walked over to your table.

“Yoongi? Who’s Yoongi? My name is Yoonji.”, he smirked pointing to his name tag where sure enough Yoonji was written in his familiar hand writing. You stared at him trying not to give him the satisfaction of smiling but it’s was difficult.

You waited for him to finish getting his hair done while you explained the situation to Mae who thought it was both hilarious and sweet that he would go through all that trouble for you.

When he finally walked over again you took his hand and lead him up to the room you were staying in.

“You didn’t have to go through all this trouble.”, you said sitting down next to him on the bed.

“I know but it wasn’t any trouble any ways. I know sometimes you let others get in your head. You were upset and I wanted to cheer you up and remind you how much I love you and how much you mean to me and that I would do anything for you…even driving here in the middle of the night while wearing an itchy wig and a short skirt and accidentally flashing a guy at the rest stop trying to get out of my car.”

You smacked his shoulder, “You did not.”

“Oh I did. I think he liked what he saw too.”, he chuckled, “But sucks for him because everything under this skirt already belongs to someone else.”, he said making you breakout into a fit of laughter.

You leaned your head against his shoulder, “Thank you Yoongs. I really needed that.”

He wrapped his arms around you pulling you in for a kiss which you happily obliged.

“I better get going before I get caught.”, he chuckled getting off the bed, “Give me a call tomorrow when you can. Enjoy the rest of your trip but hurry up and come home because I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”, you smiled.

As he started to walk towards the door you called his name to get his attention,

“Hey Yoongi?”

He stopped and turned to look at you.

“Your legs do look really good in that skirt.”, you smiled.

“I know how good I look.”, he smirked before dramatically flipping his hair and walking out the door leaving you in another fit of giggles and feeling comforted and loved.

[maddiethedogstories]

Sarah's Playground - 1

As I looked around the park near my apartment, I couldn't help but appreciate how beautiful the weather was. The sun was shining and there was a light breeze keeping it warm, but not to hot. It was perfect tank top and skirt weather, and I was taking full advantage of that.

My name is Sarah Jenkins. I'm 22 years old, blonde, and, if you don't mind me saying so myself, beautiful. I love this type of weather, because it really lets me show off the curves that I've worked hard for. Okay, so maybe not that hard, but I still like showing them off.

You see, about six months ago I was at a garage sale and came across this beautiful ruby necklace for sale. The old woman running the sale sold it to me for a steal, but gave some cryptic advise of 'being careful what you wish for,' and some other bullshit nonsense.

That night, I wore the necklace out for drinks with my girlfriends. At one point, I said something like, "I wish we had some more drinks," and, like magic, some dude immediately bought our table a round.

Now, I have been into the ABDL scene for a bit and understood pretty quickly what was going on based on all of the smutty diaper-fetish fiction I'd read. The old lady at the garage sale was clearly a witch and sold me a magic amulet that granted all of my wishes. Score.

I also realized pretty early on that I would have to been careful as I altered the world, because, I know based on those same stories, magic like this can have a downside if you aren't careful with it. So, for the last six months, I've been incredibly careful. That said, I've also changed a lot of things.

One of the first things I changed was my body. I was never bad looking, but, I had a dream. You see, I have always wanted to be the perfect, most beautiful ABDL Mommy possible. So, I made myself into my dream Mommy. I'm 6'6" tall. My double-D breasts are firm and, more often than not, full of breast milk, ready to feed any hungry adult baby.

I am also fit. I gave myself a large, feminine ass, but the whole thing is made of muscle. I can lift most other adults and easily carry them like small children. My arms are ripped, and I have large hands perfect for spanking disobedient littles.

I've also changed the world to better suit my fantasies. Currently, based on my wishes, when people turn 18, 25 percent of people are randomly forced to regress to adult babies by society. Those people are forced to act like giant toddlers for the rest of their lives. Other people can adopt and care for that portion of the population, doing to them whatever they want, within reason.

Looking out across the park on this beautiful day, I am pretty happy with how things turned out. Beyond the normal sights of parents and their children playing at the playground, young men and women out on runs or sun bathing, and elderly couples out for a stroll, the park is filled with adults of all shapes and sizes acting like the giant babies I've turned them into.

I stopped and watched as one particulary cute young woman wearing nothing but a yellow onesie and gigantic diaper squats down, balls up her fists, and pushes a huge mess into her pants. I watched as she blushed, her adult mind aware of how humiliating it was to shit her pants, but unable to stop herself out of fear of being punished for violating the rules of society I created.

Being the bad witch in charge feels so good!

I continued my stroll through the park, enjoying watching two 30-year-old men in nothing but diapers crawl in a sandbox as there caregivers looked on like disinterested parents letting their kids get energy out at the park.

As I continued, I saw an 18-year-old woman beant over an older man's lap, her bare ass in the air and a pull-up bunched around her ankles.

"Naughty girl! You are an adult baby now, not an adult! You do not take your pull-up off! I'm going to have to demote you to diapers for this!" The man said as he ruthlessly spanked the young woman, who was clearly struggling with her new lot in life.

It's music to my Mommy Domme ears.

Speaking of ears, what was that noise? I reached into my purse and found my cellphone alarm going off. Was it time to go home already? My tits ached. It must be feeding time for my own little ball of joy.

To bad I can't bring her out here. For my own amusement, I've left my own adult baby completely aware of how the world was prior to my intervention. When I take her out in public, she tends to make a scene. Oh well! Time to get back to Mommy duty!

I started walking down the quickest path home, the ruby necklace dangling in my ample cleavage glittering in the sunlight.

NEXT CHAPTER

[iliketangerines]

Can you write a Beach!AU featuring the Earthrealm roster ( maybe even the Outworld characters as well ) with fem!reader who’s muscular leaning ( I would love to see more fics about mildly muscular/buffy women ) being insecure abt her body due to years of fighting, training, ridden with scars on her muscled body so she kind of just sits under the shades awkwardly most of the time as she’s afraid to put on her swimsuits and joins in the fun with them as well

staying in the shade

a/n: hi there, no comment today unfortunately

pairing: kenshi takahashi x gn!reader

warnings: none :)

you sit underneath the umbrella, blankets laying over your legs and wearing a baggy sweater, and you sip on your iced water as you watch your team play in the waves

Lord Liu Kang sits out in the sun with Raiden, and they chat with each other about something as they drink in the sunlight, the rays catching on their tanned skin

Kung Lao and Johnny tackle each other underneath the waves as they yell and scream about winning some type of game

Mileena and Kitana had also come, Lord Liu Kang having invited some of the court for a nice day out, and they were building a sandcastle near the shore of the beach, hissing whenever Kung Lao and Johnny got a bit too close to their creation

the castle they had managed to make out of sand and water was massive and quite impressive, and you could even see the detail from your distance

Tanya hauls the sand and water back and forth for the two of them with Li Mei, the two of them groaning at the effort, but they laugh and flick sand at Mileena, revealing how they really felt about the situation

Syzoth simply bathes in the sun next to Lord Liu Kang, arms outstretched and looking rather like an oversized dog

the only person that sits next to you is Kenshi, who wears a skin tight bathing suit shirt to protect his tattoos from the sunlight

as you finish another ice cold drink and reach for the next one, sweating underneath the heat that gathered in your sweater, Johnny shrieks and retreats, running to where you sat on a towel and hiding behind you

Kung Lao chases the actor, and the two of them circling around you as if in a game of tag and you were a table obstructing their way

soon, the monk dives for Johnny, smashing his sand covered legs into your sweatshirt and spill your drink all over it, and you growl and grab onto the muscle, causing Kung Lao to trip and Johnny to get away

the monk collapses onto the sand, letting out a loud grunt as he falls, and he turns onto his back to glare at you and say that you had ruined the game before he notices the spilled drink staining the front of your sweatshirt

he apologizes, sitting up and wiping at the front of your sweater with his hand, but the damage is done

you can feel the sugar sticking to you, and you grimace, waving him off to go and chase Johnny again

Kung Lao frowns and tells you to take off the sweatshirt, he’ll wash it when he goes back, and you decline, not wanting to take off your sweatshirt just yet

you’re wearing your swimming suit underneath, but still, you didn’t quite want to get criticism for how you looked right now

the monk sighs and says come on, holding his hand out for the sweatshirt, and you scowl at him and tell him to back off, drawing your dagger out of the cooler

Kung Lao backs off, hands high in the air, before saying that it was your choice and running off to go and chase Johnny

Kenshi looks at you from the side of his eyes and asks why you’ve just done that, and you just grumble out that there was no reason and sheathe your weapon again

he scoffs and turns to fully face you, one eyebrow quirked up despite the sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose, and he asks why you’re so touchy over your sweatshirt

you growl out that you’re not and cross your arms, hunching your back and letting out a hmph, and Kenshi rolls his eyes

turning back to lean back on his chair, he says that you’re not fooling anybody with that attitude, obviously you’re insecure about how you look

you look at him with a glare, but he doesn’t care and continues to just lean back in his chair, continuing his spiel with saying that none of them will care what you look like underneath the sweater

besides, nothing could get worse than seeing someone’s head decapitated right in front of them, so really they wouldn’t be phased by anything

you sigh, feeling the sugar stick to your skin now, and you sigh and hesitantly pull off your shirt and throw it off to the side to be washed later

turning back to Kenshi, you ask if he’ll really be okay just sitting here alone, and he waves you off and tells you to have fun, he needed to catch up on a podcast anyway

before you leave, he tells you to come back, and you do so

Kenshi holds his hand out, and you put it into his and watch as he presses his lips to the back of your hand and tells you to have fun

you smile and laugh and say that you will and run off into the waves, screaming at Kung Lao to watch out for ruining your sweater, and he screams in delight as he runs from you

nothing to worry about at all it seems

[naturallyadventured]

wandering_claud

I canceled my breast augmentation surgery 4 years ago…

It feels surreal to write that, because over half of my friends don’t even know that I had a surgery scheduled. That I flew to Ontario to consult with my Doctor. That I choose my size and type of implants. That I had put my non refundable deposit down to hold my date. That I financed a bank loan to pay for a $20,000 surgery…

I feel a lot of shame for speaking publicly about this because it exemplifies a time in my life where I -personally- was unhappy with my body. Where I had very little love for myself.

I talk a lot on this page about being comfortable naked and deeply loving my body, and I think it’s important to note that I didn’t always have this relationship with myself…

Growing up during a time where movies and TV shows always showed the “hot girl” having a large chest severely skewed my idea of beauty. As I moved through high school and university, I was even more reminded of how small my boobs where as close friends (men and women alike) would call my boobs “mosquito bites”. Fast track to 2018 where my self esteem was at an all time low as my romantic relationship started to crumble, I turned to breast implants in hopes that it would increase my self worth…

It took my romantic relationship ending before my surgery date for me to realize that before I made any changes to my body… I should learn to love it fully and deeply for the way it naturally was…

So I canceled my surgery.

That realization in 2018 sprang me into working on loving myself. I stoped wearing push up bras (I stopped wearing bras all together really since I don’t actually need support), I stoped hiding my chest when I changed with gfs, I stopped giving myself negative narratives around my body.

I started wearing tight tops that showed the true shape of my breast, I started tanning topless alone and then at wreck beach amongst strangers, I started taking photos in the alpine in bathing suits, I started doing nude shoots in studio and nature.

I’m by no means at the end of my journey. I’m at peace though with knowing the journey of self love is a constant one. Especially as bodies change and age.

📸 @tyholtanphoto

[unknownperson246]

Head cannon nsfw for Nikki and Tommy plz

Tommy Lee HEADCANONS NSFW

Warnings: *NSFW* *oral sex* * P in V* *Public sex*

*car sex* * fingering kink* *Nipple sucking* *biting* *squirting* *Sadism* *Masochism*

REMEMBER THIS IS JUST A HEADCANON

What Tommy loves on you:

He would love black and white lingerie he would also love flower lingerie on you he would love something colorful but not too noticeable probably something nude or silky white and silky black he would love a light green or pink and he would love a matching set.He would love a body suit like a bathing suit except it would unstrap from the bottom. He loves garters on you.He loves it when you have a silky sleeping gown on to because it makes you look sexy.He likes anything pink or anything that has white polka dots on it.More specifically he likes colorful bathing suits and neutral.

What positions Tommy loves:

He loves when your legs go around him he's loves when a woman is on fours for him.He loves when your guy's hips grind together.He loves when he gets to be the one to open your legs wide.He only does one main position because its easier for him and it works every time for the him and his partner.

What kinks Tommy has:

Tommy loves tying you up and seeing you vulnerable to him.He loves to finger you to the point where you beg for his dick inside of you.He is a mix of masochist and sadist he loves being in pain by you for pleasure and he loves seeing you in pain with only when he's in the mood.He loves doing it in public whenever he is desperate for sex.He loves doing it in the movie theaters and in his car.He has tinted windows for a reason.He loves whispering in your ear.

What types of sex Tommy likes:

He loves oral sex he likes giving it more then receiving so he can see the pleasure he gives you with his tongue alone.He is not a vanilla sex type of guy he has many kinks he likes roping you.He is definitely the dominant one in bed.He likes touching your tits.He is more of a tit guy then an ass guy.He loves licking your cum clean and you must do it in return because he wants to be reminded how good you make him feel.He likes a tight pussy and will lick it clean.He likes when his women suck his nipples.He loves when women bite his piercing.

What types of women he likes:

He likes women with blonde hair and He loves but he will go for women who have neat sex tricks.He likes women who can squirt there cum across the room.He loves when his when women that are dominant to.He likes oral sex more then P in V because its more thorough.

[lizzybeth1986]

Drake and Kiara: When You're Fucking Racist

Series - TRR's Alternative LIs - The "Romances" that Didn't Happen

Previous - Hana and Madeleine: When You Reward Your Favourite Bully with One of Her Victims

A/N: Again, apologies for the length. There was a LOT to unpack in this one!! I'm really, really not going to be nice to Drake here. It was harrowing to go through a lot of these scenes again and I honestly don't have the patience or inclination to sugarcoat any of it.

CW: Mentions of gun violence and minimization of trauma. Mentions of racist fan vitriol towards a black character. Examination of the Jezebel stereotype.

Whenever I think about how unhinged the hatred towards Kiara (and especially towards Kiara's attraction to Drake) was, a specific edit comes to mind.

On the surface, it looks quite simple. Kiara in a white wedding dress, Drake right next to her in his blue formal suit. Both of them are smiling at the viewer. The background is a beautiful forest, and the entire picture is bathed in a lovely, muted sepia tone. A sweet, simple wedding scene.

The caption underneath this edit?

Classify under things no one asked for.

Kiara's dream come true!

The tags read "#i barf a little looking at this" and "#i must post to share the suffering". You find out in the comments that the OP created this edit inspired by one of the many fics where Kiara was Drake's stalker, and intended to make her creepy and deranged (but ultimately failed).

The comments are...tbh, things that this fandom has long since normalized and shrugged at when it comes to Drake stans. Multiple puke-face emojis. Multiple gifs signaling disgust. One stan even equates the ship name (Driara) to the word diarrhoea.

"She looks very stalkeresque and white "I drugged Drake so he's marrying me" wedding ready!"

"Well it's close to Halloween so we should expect scary shit"

"THAT is why I made that bitch my Maid of Honor...so she got the message LOUD AND CLEAR...it ain't NEVER gonna happen honey" (right below a barfing gif)

I wish I could say this example of Kiara hatred was the worst of the lot, or even the only one. It wasn't. I'm not sure even an entire essay would be adequate space to explore the sheer levels of vitriol, hatred and double standards dumped on this one character.

Until now, we've seen examples of alternative LIs that were treated with respect. With adulation. Often with kid gloves in case we hurt their poor lill fee-fees. Up until now, no matter what an alternative LI may have done, the LI matched with them wasn't allowed to treat them badly, nor was the MC able to get away with hurting them without punishment.

But in this series, Kiara was, is, and will always be an anomaly.

The Jezebel Stereotype

In most media, black women in particular tend to be subjected to a variety of stereotypes that often have serious, real-world implications. The Mammy, the Sapphire (that over time evolved to what we now know as the "Angry Black Woman" stereotype) and the Jezebel, being the most prominent ones among them. In this essay, I will be focusing specifically on the last.

An article in the Black Then website explains the definition and history of the trope this: "The portrayal of black women as lascivious by nature is an enduring stereotype. The descriptive words associated with this stereotype are singular in their focus: seductive, alluring, worldly, beguiling, tempting, and lewd. Historically, white women, as a category, were portrayed as models of self-respect, self-control, and modesty – even sexual purity, but black women were often portrayed as innately promiscuous, even predatory. This depiction of black women is signified by the name Jezebel."

So it isn't altogether uncommon to see stories where black women are juxtaposed against "pure", "innocent" white/white-passing women, and viewed as lesser. PB hasn't exactly escaped these stereotypes in their stories either - though there are a variety of characters and character types, we can't deny that there was a time when a black woman was made the antagonist, often in ways that were meant to measure her up to the MC/another white woman to her detriment.

(VoS screenshots from the HIMEME YouTube channel, ACOR screenshots from Vika Avey's YouTube channel)

Two very prominent examples of PB using this trope are Scarlett from VoS, and Xanthe from ACOR. There are other black women who serve as antagonists but in a more professional space, but these two particularly are measured on their attractiveness, sex appeal and "purity" in the narrative in comparison to either the MC, or someone close to them.

In VoS, Scarlett Emerson and Kate O'Malley are the sisters of the two male LIs (Grant and Flynn), but their treatment couldn't be any more different. Scarlett's role in the book is pretty short-lived. She's very prominent in the first half of the book as Kate's potential MOH who secretly hates her, before it's revealed in Ch 5 that Tanner was cheating on Kate with her (and that she'd loved him since she was a child). Notably, in that very scene, the MC places most of the blame on Scarlett (rather than on Tanner for choosing to betray his fiancée) by labelling the act as her seduction of him.

Thereafter she is either only mentioned, or has blink-and-you-miss-it appearances in one or two chapters. We see her in the "memory" portion of the bonus scene, but we are never shown what her future is like (even as minor characters like Miss Harleney get one!). Her bonus scene shows us how her bracelet ended up on Tanner's boat, and it is an uncomfortable scene to get through. Tanner berates Scarlett for having sex with him a week before his wedding, but it is she who points out that he asked her to come there! Yet the MC and others view her as the temptress who "seduced" Tanner, as if the man had no mind of his own.

The narrative often juxtaposes her with Kate, the pure, innocent, sweet fiancée (and she actually is! No pretence there) and the fandom lapped it up. There were many demands for Kate to be upgraded to LI status, which eventually resulted in PB allowing us to marry her if we chose. As I mentioned earlier, both Scarlett and Kate are sisters to two of our LIs - but one is made an LI, while no one bothers to even imagine what the other's future entails.

An even worse fate greets that of Xanthe, the sole female antagonist in ACOR. The slut-shaming and disgust over her overt sexuality is far more blatant here. And it is extremely ironic for Xanthe to be viewed in this way, because the MC herself is a courtesan and uses wiles to get men to do her bidding. While Xanthe herself is not perfect by any means - she is depicted as xenophobic and callous, going as far as to mock Syphax when he is sent away to a possible death as a gladiator - the MC's targeting of her goes beyond just her "righteous indignation" and develops into a form of hypocrisy. She has no qualms mocking Xanthe for her direct approach or her skimpy red dress (even though the MC herself wears a skimpy red dress and can seduce a man in a temple not too long after).

The end Xanthe meets is horrific in its implications - the black matron of her scholae (who began by promising the MC herself that "you need do nothing against your will") sends her away to sexual slavery in Sicily, while the black man who was one of the few bastions of morality in the book, escorts her, smiling, to the ship that will take her there. As far as the narrative is concerned, the end was well-deserved...even though PB has had no issues allowing white women to do far worse without any punishment.

We cannot view what ACOR did with Xanthe in isolation. They had built up to it early on - from the MC's reactions towards her, her patrons' dismissiveness of her, the MC's LIs' viewing her with derision and zero respect. The MC - despite her own unscrupulousness - is viewed as the "noble whore" to Xanthe, yet it is clear on even a surface read that there is not much difference between the two women.

The Jezebel stereotype, ultimately, is about dehumanizing the black woman it focuses on, so that her actions and choices are viewed as deviant from what is "normal" - feeding into either responses of disgust and derision, or a desire to objectify her. To some readers, it makes whatever awful or comparatively unfair end they meet, more palatable. Scarlett and Xanthe are not viewed as people by the narrative - especially not the way the MC of their books or even white female antagonists are. No one cares for their backstories, coos over their losses, wonders if they are okay. When they meet their inevitable end, the characters and so many in the fandom alike just shrug and move along.

How does a character like Kiara fit into this? Her smarts and linguistic talents are her most prominent traits, and while she does have feelings for Drake, she never really acts out-of-pocket towards him (more on this later). So at least from what we see in canon, there's very little about her that seems to apply to the Jezebel stereotype. Yet, the fandom is not only inclined, but eager, to view her as one. Kiara's feelings have been viewed in a far more predatory light, perhaps more often than any other female character in the series. Why is this so?

A response I have often seen - on reddit, on Kiara's wiki page, at times on Tumblr too - is how there is a "certain something" about Kiara that people "just don't like". Many players who prefer Penelope to her are often very aware of what she has done, but still insist they like her far more than they do Kiara. On a reddit thread about questioning the logic of having Kiara and Penelope as options for the MC's MOH in TRR3, certain players commented thus:

"I don't know why, I just dislike her a lot. Penelope is fine to me, but Kiara irritates me." (said commenter is an Aerin stan)

"I liked Penelope, I thought she was nice. But Kiara got on my nerves."

In her book, The Sisters Are Alright, Tamara Winfrey Harris makes an eye-opening (to me at least!) observation about how misogynoir works:

"Misogynoir, abetted by dehumanizing caricature, is like water. It fills its vessel, taking many forms, and then overflows, creeping unnoticed into the cracks of things, rotting the foundation. It spreads a belief in Black women’s inherent wrongness." (Italics mine).

Now of course, if I were to ask the current fandom, they would come up with a range of reasons. Some that emerged from fandom myths and became more popular than the truth in time, some from PB's excessive pandering to players that hated her. But the root of it all is in a certain "je ne sais quoi" that makes her automatically unappealing, resulting in those readers leaning towards misreading or misremembering her scenes, misrepresenting her motives, or watering down the impact of worse actions from whiter women. It results in a group of writers (who have thus far gone to the extent of retconning the worst of a white woman's actions just to make her look good) leaning into such readings, even when they're not true.

TRR1 Kiara: Pragmatic Courtier or Backstabbing Snake?

"Kiara is fake", "Kiara is a snob", "Kiara is self-serving", "Kiara promised to be friends with us but dropped us like a hot potato the moment we became unpopular". These are some of the most enduring takes about Kiara in the past few years, and readers who say this usually bring up a vague recollection of TRR1 and 2 as proof. Mostly that "Kiara was our friend" in the first book, and left us hanging at the beginning of TRR2.

Is that reading based in fact, though? Let's take a look at TRR1!Kiara and find out.

We are introduced to Kiara (along with Penelope, and standing next to Hana) in TRR3 when we meet Liam's other suitors. Olivia introduces each woman differently, and the descriptor she uses for Kiara is that she is the "daughter of a diplomat and fluent in ten languages" (note: Kiara never boasts of her linguistic skill, Olivia does. Nor are there any scenes of her looking down on anyone who doesn't speak her mother tongue French, unless of course you accidentally ask her to sleep with you).

Both she and Penelope note immediately that the MC doesn't quite fit in - if the MC questions the women about being allies with Olivia, a woman who calls them "harpies", they view that as an overreaction. When the MC tells the ladies at the Derby about getting lost, Kiara finds her tardiness and inability to fit in, a sign that she cannot keep up with the competition. Until the chapters in Lythikos, Kiara's and Penelope's characterizations are almost interchangeable, personality-wise. It is likely the team envisioned them more as European nobility rather than specifically Cordonian (based on Olivia's introductions), and they are both depicted as poised, refined and aware of their place in court.

It's in Lythikos that Kiara, at least, begins to show a more distinct personality (for Penelope it's after the Regatta). Unlike the rest of the court, who watches Olivia's unwanted kiss on Liam with either mild shock or disinterest, Kiara is angered by what she sees as a very obvious power-play - which gives the MC the opening she needs to gain an alliance.

Now this "alliance" scene of Kiara's is interesting, for two reasons. One is that fandom often uses this scene to establish her "double standards" in TRR2, claiming that Kiara opted to be friends with the MC. Yet nowhere in the scene does the MC or Kiara ever suggest a friendship with each other - they both agree to an alliance. Furthermore, this is an arrangement that benefits the MC more - there isn't exactly anything she contributes (or is expected to contribute) to Kiara from her end. Kiara's promise is that she will put in a good word in the MC's favour, and she upholds that promise throughout the social season.

Another is that among the courtiers, Kiara herself is the first person to identify and respond to the MC's potential if she shows it at the Derby and the tea party (though Hana is also a courtier, I view her strictly as an LI in this context - since her support is by default and is founded on a more emotional basis). Not many nay notice this, but there is a distinction between how Kiara responds to an MC in a successful play vs a failplay...in a way that none of the other suitors do. Take note of the screenshots below:

The top two pictures in this collage are dialogues that feature by default. The bottom two, however, are dependent on branch-coding. They only appear IF the MC has managed to win the approval of the King, the Queen and the press. If you don't succeed in the same, she will not mention your performance in the social season at all, nor will she say anything about the value of your alliance.

That is a far bigger deal than most players of this series realize. It means that Kiara has been watching us closely, and has understood our potential over the course of just three court events. Only two other characters are shown tracking our progress this way: Bertrand (who is our sponsor, so he has to keep track) and Queen Regina (who can guess already her stepson's feelings for the MC, which automatically makes her a person of interest). For Kiara to understand the MC's capabilities, and to openly admit she has potential this early in the competition - it takes a high level of rationality, honesty and pragmatism to come to such a conclusion. Unlike Olivia (who lashes out in jealousy at the MC), Penelope (who has to be told why exactly it's good to have allies), and Madeleine (who dismisses us as competition until it's too late), Kiara actually views the MC with a discerning, impartial eye and an objective approach.

So on the surface, it appears as if Kiara is written by a team that likes her! You could almost be convinced that they thought she was cool but were forced to pander to "crazy Drake stans" in their writing later (which is an argument I have heard often). After all, she's established as beautiful, skilled, smart and observant. You wouldn't do that for a character you don't like, right?

But even as early as TRR1, a disdain for Kiara creeps in from the writing that you rarely see for any of the others.

This is especially apparent when you look at how Kiara's proficiency with language is spoken about. It is supposed to be her most visible skill - Olivia identifies her by it, we see her peppering her English sentences with French words (of course, many may argue that she doesn't exactly sound like an actual French person...but let's remember that her writers aren't exactly very used to the language themselves or interested in doing extra research for authenticity!). As we approach the end of the first book, there are at least two dialogue options that result in people doubting her abilities or mocking her for speaking only English and French most of the time.

In TRR1 Ch 16, Madeleine optionally speaks to the MC over phone (believing her to be a reporter taking her interview) about her thoughts on Kiara. Kiara's tendency to speak mostly in French and English is supposed to be a sign that she "exaggerates her accomplishments". Mind you, this is from the same woman who claims to be the best choice for Cordonia despite her poor strategies and her antagonizing potential allies during the engagement tour (TRR2); who complains if the MC doesn't compliment her for mediocre work as a press sec (TRR3). The MC can also choose to diss Kiara in a similar way, treating Kiara like she is a circus performer and her skills as if they are meant for the MC's entertainment. The only solace I could derive from this dumpster fire of a dialogue option, was that Kiara managed to shut the MC up with her multilingual response.

No other time are we allowed to call a courtier's abilities and skills into question. The MC accepts on faith that Olivia is a badass with great fighting skills. Same with Penelope's ability as a seamstress. The MC is never even allowed to have legitimate complaints about Madeleine's work as press sec, besides maybe that she could "be a little nicer". So the fact that the writers not only have other characters doubt Kiara's talent, but also allow people to mock her about it in all three books...is really something.

Another possible indicator of this disdain is the fact that Kiara is the only suitor who never gets a chance to actually interact with Liam on-screen. Even Penelope, a fellow minor character, can approach and talk to him twice...and her gift to him is shown in Ch 18 whereas Kiara's and Hana's aren't. Despite the fact that Kiara is a potential suitor, the story never allows her to interact with Liam. She doesn't exactly have any interactions with Drake in this book either, but honestly nor does any other couple have much time together besides Liam and Olivia.

Drake and Kiara hardly seemed to be a possibility back in TRR1. Drake himself didn't seem to associate with anyone besides the MC and the group in the first book (and even with the group his interactions were infrequent). Kiara herself doesn't have many scenes that aren't related to the court or to the competition, even once she is no longer participating. The closest she comes to any sort of association besides Penelope, is a friendship with Hana that begins sometime before the Fox Hunt. Drake and Kiara never actually have any scenes together, or interactions, or references. It is likely that the idea to pair them up was entirely a Book 2 thing.

On a fandom level, neither Kiara or Penelope garnered much attention or fan reactions. They weren't noticed much, nor did you see their scenes too often. Probably that is why it was so damn easy to remember Kiara's entire equation with the MC wrong. Why certain stans of the book were able to get away with misrepresenting the relationship between her and the MC in TRR1, to hate on her in TRR2. I will not deny, though, that certain dialogue choices from PB (like "I thought we were friends!" in the Fydelia scene) may have had a hand in those beliefs becoming the "truth".

TRR2 Kiara - Pragmatic Courtier or Backstabbing Snake (Part 2)

I plan to get into the way the Drake and Kiara angle is framed in canon, but before that it's important to tackle that one elephant in the room - Kiara telling the MC the alliance is over. Because very often, people used this scene (coupled with their misinterpretations of Book 1) as their "justification" to hate her. Often, people would choose the ruder options (such as the Christmas card dialogue) and assume that Kiara was rude by default, rather than as a consequence of the MC's behaviour towards her.

Kiara and Penelope are the first to express surprise at the MC's return (and their reactions are shown as representative of the rest of the court). Kiara in fact is shocked that the MC dared to return (which is kinda warranted! Several people in these early chapters view that as a risky move, a gamble that could backfire on her. That's why Bertrand gets her a press secretary). Their scene with the MC immediately follows the MC's conversation with Liam and Madeleine (and mind you, in the option where the MC can tell her she was set up, Madeleine herself voices disbelief of the same. Conveniently, this is never used as a reason to hate her). Both women let the MC know of their change in status, and therefore the change in their relationship with her.

What gets missed overall, is that Kiara is a lady-in-waiting (which is an actual role with specific duties) to Madeleine, which means her loyalty now has to lie with this woman whether she likes it or not. For her to even agree to approach the MC and explain the situation, is a risk. In at least two dialogue options in this scene, she tells the MC straight-up that they will be in trouble if they're even seen talking to her (this becomes a moot point by Ch4, mostly because Madeleine herself is shown talking to the MC and allowing her into conversations in public, once Hana arrives).

Penelope is often viewed in a better light in this scene because of her obvious friendliness and her sadness at no longer being the MC's friend, but once you have the reveal of her being a traitor, her behaviour in this scene seems wildly disingenuous, and I'm surprised more people didn't call her a fake when the reveal came out. She had to know the allegations against the MC were fake when she rushed to hug her, having been an integral part of that fabrication. It makes her lament when she's caught, in the failplay, ("I can't do anything right. You were never supposed to find out!") that much more chilling. She is eager to have the benefit of the MC's friendship and emotional support, without ever being honest about her role in smearing her reputation.

The other was that - no matter what you may choose to think of this scene - Kiara was placing herself at risk to let the MC know it was over. Approaching the MC was the right thing to do, but what is never spoken about is the fact that it was also a brave thing to do. Rather than ghost the pariah of the court and never give an explanation, she tells her honestly what the situation is, and strives to protect her impulsive friend (who could get both of them in trouble) at the same time.

When you view Kiara's actions from that lens - when you look at the facts - suddenly the claims that Kiara was "fake", "a flip-flopper", "a backstabber", "unscrupulous and self-serving", sound pretty hollow.

TRR2: The Drake x Kiara "Romance" Begins...and So Does the Vitriol

So...an interesting thing about the general reaction to Kiara in the early chapters of TRR2. I was new to the fandom when this book was released. There was an annoyance at Kiara when the first chapter came out, but to my surprise it didn't exactly become full-blown hatred until she started showing an interest in Drake in Ch 3.

This book is often used as a reference by Drake stans when they speak of Kiara as an obsessed, stalker-type, sex-hungry woman - often in contrast to their "pure", "innocent" MCs. Basically...the Jezebel. But the five scenes we see of this ship in the book itself tell a completely different story:

1. Drake Helps Kiara Lift A Heavy Beam (TRR2 Ch 3)

Chapter 3 is perhaps the first time we see an indication of Kiara's attraction to Drake on a physical level. The scene takes place at the barn raising, but only if we choose to stay with Drake over Hana for the barn raising activities. Kiara shows up in a rather pitiable state - her friend Penelope abandoned her for thirty whole minutes, leaving her to lift incredibly heavy beams alone. Drake helps Kiara and mildly chides her for not asking for his help, and Kiara stares at his bare chest, mesmerized.

She isn't exactly alone in this - the MC herself ogles at his bare chest at one point (if we go by the lines in the narrative that read "his muscles glisten in the sunlight" which is def from the MC's PoV). This scene was meant as fanservice for stans who wanted to drool over Drake's physique for a bit, and belatedly build up an alternative (at least for all three male LIs, they were trying to do this in TRR2).

The MC can either point out Kiara's obvious attraction towards Drake, or suspect her of being part of the plot. This will not be the last time the MC or the group will view her with suspicion, with little to no basis in fact. In the option that calls attention to Kiara's attraction to Drake, she is shown covertly sneaking a second look at him. Drake is shown with a visible discomfort at even the idea that Kiara could like him, one that only the MC notices considering she is working in proximity with him.

The reaction to this was instantaneous from several Drake x MC shippers. One or two glances at Drake's chest was enough for Drake stans to begin typing posts in capslock, screaming "BACK OFF KIARA HE'S MINE". The excuses given at the time were that the MC didn't get much opportunity to romance him (Drake was trying to refrain from kissing her in Ch 2 because he felt guilty), and largely-inaccurate judgements of Kiara's character. Jealousy of this kind is sometimes seen as the norm when you have a popular ship and a third angle is created, but this was about to take form in some...very disturbing ways in later chapters.

2. Kiara was Once Savannah's Friend/Kiara's long-standing crush on Drake (Ch 4)

A misconception I often see in the fandom (particularly in relation to how Kiara's feelings for Drake aren't given the same level of consideration that Olivia's for Liam is) is that Olivia's are "more genuine", and Kiara's are "mere lust" or "only physical" and this is probably why she's not given as much respect as Olivia was. Even though, tbh, Kiara was far, far more respectful of Drake and his personal space, than Olivia was of Liam in TRR1.

Leaving aside the obvious problems with that train of thought (viewing sexual feelings as "lesser" just because they're not rooted in some intense emotion), this is not even true, and the first part of the Driara garden party scene is proof enough. Kiara says, straight up, that Drake had been "such a good friend to [Liam]. It's part of why I always liked you." (Bold mine). If the MC voices doubts about this (likely incorporated for readers who would question it as a retcon...and it was a retcon since they didn't interact in TRR1), Kiara tells her that she doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve, which actually matches her practical approach to most things. In fact just a few scenes earlier, when the MC questioned her about wanting a husband (when she'd mentioned earlier about wanting to join the ministry), Kiara informs her that it would never hurt to have both. So it makes sense for her character if she's someone who kept her feelings for Drake a secret, especially while in a competition for winning the Crown Prince's hand. But we cannot, in any honest capacity, claim that Kiara's feelings for Drake weren't deep enough, or lasting enough, or genuine enough. At least based on the evidence we have.

Another point this scene brings up is Kiara's friendship towards Savannah. Up until this point, the only people who did reference her were Olivia, Drake and Maxwell - and Olivia's mockery of especially seemed to imply that the ladies of the court weren't very nice to her. Kiara's account is very different from this, and actually quite affectionate ("she was one of us", "she was coming along so well in learning French"). It's not the closest friendship, but Kiara did care enough to tutor her in the language and clearly missed her. It is possible that this scene was positioned to both build up to the alternative romance and foreshadow Savannah's presence in Paris. There is a lot more that could have been done with this angle, but perhaps that is a discussion for another section.

3. Never-Have-I-Ever (Ch 9)

This is a small option in a drinking game - the MC can get to say "never have I ever had a crush on Kiara", and loses, because Drake says she isn't his type (ironically he claims he isn't her type in the next chapter). It's interesting that he does consider her as not as bad as some of the others in that group.

3. Flirting with Drake in Paris (Ch 10)

For five chapters, we don't see any more hints of this romance. We see Drake in plenty, and we see quite a bit of Kiara. But none of it shows them together.

Kiara's scene with Drake at the tea party, is in some ways a continuation of his diamond scene with Savannah. He knows now where his sister is and what her big secret was, but this scene is where he realises how little he actually knew about her, if even her "noblewoman friend" knew she had intentions to go to Paris and he, her brother, didn't. This scene also takes place at what I call a "rest period" in the story - the group has just come out of a high-intensity altercation with Bastien, and it is one chapter before the major reveal about Constantine. So the MC can relax a little, some of the loose ends of previous stories can be tied up, and we get a vibe check on at least two alternative ships.

Drake is rather civil to Kiara in this conversation, mostly because he's trying to get information about his sister out of her. There isn't much he contributes besides this - it doesn't seem to matter much to him that Kiara was a rare friend among the court to Savannah (tho TRR3 would later retcon this), and when she talks about herself he doesn't pay much attention. Kiara does make an attempt at a light flirtation which goes largely unnoticed.

The MC's response when she first sees them goes three ways - a neutral comment about the petit-fours, a "matchmake-y" comment that points to them that they "look cozy", and a "jealous" comment about interrupting them. The third one especially results in Drake inadvertently confirming he doesn't think of Kiara in a romantic light, and Kiara appearing disappointed. Remember, at this point she doesn't see much evidence that Drake and the MC romancing him are an item.

The follow-up conversation with Drake, too, follows along similar lines. The neutral comment just asks him about the information he gathered from Kiara, the "matchmake-y" one points out she has feelings for Drake and the "jealous" one is... something.

The third response is very obviously crafted for the more possessive Drake stans to get satisfaction from dissing Kiara, perhaps in a more aggressive way than the Maxwell stans could. While the Maxwell MC can pass an insult or two to discourage Penelope, the Drake MC will go as far as to tell him he belongs only to her, and can threaten to "push her into the petit-fours".

Ironically, this scene follows a scene with Olivia about her lingering feelings for Liam - and Olivia's grief, the MC's clear sympathy and Liam's concern for Olivia are all by default. There is a certain level of sensitivity the Liam MC is required to have for Olivia that is never once expected of the Drake MC, and that plays out in very dangerous ways in the next book.

This scene, again, brought forth rather violent reactions, and in fact the language of the MC's responses itself seemed to encourage that kind of response. A poster later compiled an entire set of these responses ranging from mocking, to "back off, Kiara!" to straight up demands for murder (I couldn't link to this post because the names of the people involved were included in it, but I do have quite a few of those screenshots for reference).

After this point, you don't see any more scenes where Kiara actively flirts. In fact for most of the second half you see her and Penelope very rarely. So it does feel really wild in retrospect that "obsessed Kiara" became such a popular interpretation, after one checking-out scene, one flirtation and one rather sweet and genuine compliment of him as a person.

4. Pranking Kiara (Ch 17)

A pattern you would have noticed by now is that there is a bit of a mean streak in Drake for Kiara that is either very dominant or latent, based on whether the MC tries to encourage him, or shows jealousy towards her.

And this isn't necessarily an indicator that he can never be interested in Kiara. A distrust for nobility is almost a norm for him at this point, and let's not forget that Drake's first few interactions with the MC too didn't exactly leave her with the best impression of him either. Kiara initially being on Madeleine's side at the beginning of the story could be a factor in some level of disdain too. Such complications could - in a good story - add layers to a potential romance in the future if that was the direction the writing was going for.

Around the MC who doesn't mind them as a pair, he shows a small sliver of an inclination towards Kiara herself. His response if the MC points out that Kiara was flirting with him (Ch 10) is that he doesn't believe he is Kiara's type, not the other way around. In this scene, a drunk Drake who is encouraged to write a "nice note" to her as a prank, can write "your hair is pretty and your French is totally not stupid". Both of these lines present a sign of a possibility that a romance could happen. His behaviour when an MC casually hints at this possibility, is of someone who may like this woman deep down, but show it in very strange ways (akin to the age-old metaphor of the "boy who pulls the pigtails of the girl he has a crush on"). They wouldn't have even needed to show his responses in this way if they weren't trying to hint at a possibility.

His response to a "jealous" MC is to delightedly bask in her possessiveness of him, and to go hand-in-glove with her as she insults or suggests violence on Kiara in any way. Now one could perhaps headcanon this as a behaviour that comes from being unused to female attention focused on him, coupled with his affection for the MC - but when you take into account his behaviour towards Kiara herself in TRR3 as well, there seems to be a blatant lack of consideration or compassion towards her as a human being. Compare this, again, to the way Liam's behaviour towards Olivia is written in canon, and interpreted by the fandom. Liam is expected to be kind to her, even if he's clueless about her feelings or if she is harming him (eg. Even when she kisses him, he cares enough to opt for a reaction that will not publicly humiliate Olivia).

Not so for Drake. He is very happy to follow in the MC's lead, even in hurting Kiara. And in this scene, he pretty much kickstarts it with the suggestion of a prank.

Drake knows where Kiara's room is (thanks to a nameplate on the door, and the familiarity of the hallway, which he likes for the view outside) and wants to prank her. The MC can either accept or refuse. If she accepts, there is one nice option, and two distinctly mean-spirited ones. The first proposes to mess up her book organizational system, and the narrative describes the attempt as "ruining any semblance of order to Kiara's bookshelves". These are materials she likely requires for her career as an aspiring diplomat, or even books she uses to update herself on the world. But to this MC and Drake, her work and interests are little more than a joke.

The second one is not only aggressively mean - it also is an attempt to ruin her personal space with her personal items. Going by the array of haircare the narrative mentions, maintaining her hair is very important to Kiara (I am not equipped enough to speak about black women and their relationship with their hair, but this option did make me very uncomfortable, because of the little I've seen on how essential regular haircare and good products can be for many black women). Not only does the MC suggest using all that product to render Kiara's bed practically unusable, she also insists Drake waste the full bottle of said product. Because, yknow. "It's a prank. Go big or go home". Drake has one moment where he tries to be less mean in this option (when he attempts to use less of her hairspray), but the moment the MC encourages him towards a crueller direction he does not hesitate. In fact, when the MC first suggests this option, he regards her with something approaching awe, and praises her as "an evil genius".

There's a mean streak in Drake here no matter which option you choose. If you do go for the nicer one, he complains at first that it's not exactly a prank and in fact does claim that they "could still put glitter in her cupboard" as an alternative prank. But the other two options encourage the player to give full vent to whatever underlying frustration/enmity/hatred one could possibly have against Kiara, goading a drunk Drake to be merciless towards the things in her room, in her absence.

Maybe, perhaps, one could just view this as a "fun vent" for the "possessive stans". It allowed the Drake MC and her LI the chance to gang up on her, mock her and cause her discomfort through things that were clearly important to her, treat her like the butt of their joke, and get away with it. When you encourage that kind of hatred with your writing, it can go into some very dark, disturbing places. And it did, especially in TRR3.

The overall response to this scene didn't show much, since it was just one small sequence in a larger scene - and most of the focus was on the heartfelt bonding between Drake and the MC when he takes her to his "special hideout" and his reveal about his motives behind calling the MC by her surname.

Many Drake stans, however, took note of this specific section, and took their interpretations in a completely different direction. Questions were asked about why Drake knew about Kiara's room - completely ignoring that he frequented the hallway regardless for its view and her nameplate is literally placed outside her door - and several fans suspected the two to be involved in an affair just on the basis of him knowing where her room was. These suspicions, again, would crop up from the fandom in a more dramatic way in TRR3.

5. Drinks at Homecoming Ball (Ch 19)

This scene takes place in the finale, just before Kiara and Penelope apologize jointly to the MC for their comments in the beer garden.

Drake is, quite predictably, at the bar in this scene. In some ways one could draw a parallel between this one and the "bar" scene between him and the MC in TRR1 - the only differences being that the two were alone in the first, and that he and the MC are free to romance each other now. However this time, the two ladies of the court could also communicate with him about drinks, and he could use his knowledge of alcohol to guess their preferences.

The scene with Kiara is, again, written to be both a possible sign of familiarity and a diss (mostly the second, I think). With Penelope he just vaguely mentions cocktails and focuses on the decoration for the drink - with Kiara he is able to name the specific wine even though in TRR3 he has no idea what tannins are. There are ways one could envision that as a sign that he notices more about Kiara than he lets on.

The diss, of course, comes with his claim that no matter how top-shelf the wine is, it will still always be "old grape juice" (which is a very strange thing to say because most alcohols are fermented from basic ingredients be it fruit or grains - where did he think his high-quality whiskey that he regularly carries around in his personal flask came from??).

Kiara's attempt to impress him is pretty obvious, but the diss isn't something that weighs too much on her mind. There are less indicators here of a dejection if he brushes her aside, unlike the scene in Ch 10 - she just looks a bit surprised he could guess the exact drink she wanted. Kiara in this scene is more likely to shift gears to something more important. In this case, that is apologizing to the MC for what she views as poor behaviour that sprung up under the influence of alcohol, and offering her an olive branch (the specific apology is for her asking the MC if she came to gloat, not for telling her the alliance was over at the beginning of the tour. In that scene specifically she feels she has nothing to apologise for, and I'm inclined to agree for the reasons I stated in that section).

The overall pattern for this ship seems to indicate that it's...kinda there in case the MC doesn't want to pick Drake, but I always feel like they focused a lot more on the jealousy options and didn't spend enough time to see what a possible relationship could look like. They do claim later that Kiara's affections were supposed to be one-sided, but the buildup at least seemed to indicate some small baseline of interest from Drake's end, even if shown in some rather bizarre ways. However, because there seems to be very little respect for this character already, having the MC threaten violence and having her and Drake overreact over what were essentially harmless interactions from Kiara's end really does indicate that the writers didn't mind taking potshots at her whenever they felt like it. Like I've said before, the trashfire that was Kiara's treatment in TRR3 didn't develop overnight.

Smart, Skilled...Disliked?: Kiara and the Writing Team in TRR3

On 25th Sept 2023, PB released a two-chapter series on Storyloom called "Choices Secrets", which involved at least three writers (Andrew, Kara and Chelsa) talking about ideas and plots and backstories that didn't make it to the released book. In one section, Kara Loo speaks specifically about the ending of TRR2:

According to this account, the original idea was to kill off Olivia and possibly use that as a segue into the Nevrakis plot of the book, since her aunt and Justin were the real villains at the end of the series. When they decided to keep her alive in the series, Kara mentions finding "more members of your group get injured, like Drake".

Interestingly, Kara referred to "members" in the plural, and Drake is the only person from the core group to get shot. So it's just as possible that the choice to have Bastien, Justin/Anton and Kiara sustain injuries, was made once they decided to do away with the storyline about Olivia's death.

Olivia got spared because her writers cared for her. Kiara was likely one of the people injured in her stead, and probably the only one out of them (except for the one who was the main villain) who wasn't getting a prominent scene that focused on her being a survivor of the attack until some readers protested (the entire intro of TRR3 was dedicated to Drake recieving tender care from the MC, Bastien gets showered with concern and care from Constantine, Liam and optionally the MC. The MC comes to the estate, makes a perfunctory mention of the injury once and proceeds to emotionally blackmail Kiara into joining the tour. Let's not even talk about Lythikos. That shit warranted its own essay). No matter how much you downplay the situation, the truth is that Kiara got grievously hurt in a terrorist attack and her writers didn't think it was important enough to address.

I often wondered in the beginning, why Kiara was chosen for this. A close friend at the time theorized that perhaps it was done to ensure Madeleine would become our press secretary, because there was no way the MC would be considering her for this position if someone less hostile (like Kiara) was around. Another wondered if we might get opportunities to address palace security through the experiences of the survivors. Being a Drake x Kiara supporter at least by the end of TRR2, I wondered whether it was a coincidence that they both were injured at the same ball, and the possibility of the two bonding over such a painful experience.

Well. Boy was I about to be disappointed.

Because why did Kiara have to be so badly injured, if it was going to amount to nothing? If they weren't even going to address it in her own home? If - after even players who didn't care much for her, noticed the silence around that attack - the best you could offer was a scene that followed the MC and her friends suspecting the victim of this attack??

Had I looked at Kiara's narrative treatment (from TRR1 onwards) closer back then, perhaps I wouldn't have expected so much. It would have occurred to me that maybe they hurt Kiara the most, because they cared for her the least. Kiara is viewed as smart, poised, talented. Madeleine even calls her "one of the more competant courtiers" at some point. But that doesn't always mean that the team that writes her deems her worthy of respect.

For one, the writers tend to lean more into fandom perceptions of her in this book, rather than looking at their own canon. Kiara being a snob is not canon - that is ridiculous considering that she was such good friends with Savannah, and her support of the MC when she fits in well. Kiara acting like her linguistic skill makes her better than anyone else isn't canon either - nor is she obliged to speak in all ten languages on a loop just for the MC's or Maxwell Beaumont's entertainment. Kiara being perpetually mean to her best friend is inaccurate at best - she is often frustrated by Penelope, sure, but she spends far time and energy helping her than anyone else in that court.

Yet the narrative gives both these statements as dialogue options for the MC, where she can bitch about Kiara...but somehow only ever allows the same MC to be nice and caring and loving to Penelope - never once reminding her of the hell she'd put the MC through in the past. And because the fandom expected the Kiara-Penelope friendship to focus only on Penelope, PB got away with having Kiara's "best friend" stay conveniently silent as the MC berated her in her own home. The narrative even threw Kiara under the bus in TRR3 Ch 16, in order to make Madeleine look better in Hana's memories of the TRR2 bachelorette, claiming falsely that Kiara shouted at Penelope so much while drunk, that the latter was brought to tears. There is way more energy spent in painting an inaccurate and negative portrait of Kiara, than there is in showing the truth.

For another, the way the courtiers' and their parents' agreement to join the tour is coded...is extremely suspicious. When you compare both a successful and a failplay, you will find that all the parents have the chance to reject the MC's proposal to join the tour...except for one. Kiara's father, Hakim. In a failplay where you purposely do all the wrong things...out of the entire group of people who are still doubtful about supporting you, only Kiara and Hakim join your tour by default, without any expectation of a reward (Madeleine demands her own department after the wedding). They will be a part of it no matter what you do, no matter your failures, no matter how badly you treat them.

Hakim may have joined mainly to confront his old friend the King, but he still stays on even after Constantine dies. The writers made sure to branch-code things in a way that Kiara and Hakim could never drop out even if the MC was awful to Kiara, and never once acknowledged what it must take for them to do that. After Kiara herself had been fucking stabbed!!!!

Joelle, Kiara's mother, and Ezekiel, Kiara's brother, can reject the offer if they aren't impressed with the MC, but out of these two characters only one is viewed with respect - the one they were going to pair up with Penelope.

The narrative doesn't mind letting the MC mock Joelle for her passionate support of the arts if she doesn't win her approval, and her insistence that it is the sign of a thriving kingdom...and they make her sound petulant and churlish in response to that mockery. This despite the fact that in a successful route, she says one of the most profound political statements in the books:

"Hakim and I don't just want Cordonia to remain stable and peaceful. Those are blessings, naturallement, but our kingdom can do so much more than just survive."

In contrast, when you look at the same failplay, Emmeline and Landon are treated with far more respect from the narrative, even though Hakim and Joelle's plans for the country would benefit Cordonia as a whole. Drake looks up to Penelope's parents as an inspiration, especially if he's going to become a duke. Meanwhile Hakim actually acknowledges Drake and his bravery in a way that none of the other dukes and duchesses did, and Drake never gives a shit.

Emmeline can accuse the MC of not taking their situation seriously, if she does a bad job at the polo match, and the MC only has the grace to look contrite rather than lash out at her. Landon himself is never judged for coddling his daughter the way he does. Their focus on Portavira rather than the country is respected, and the MC not meeting their demands is viewed as her weakness, not an overreaction from their end. They never get the snarky responses Joelle gets, where the MC can outright call her "a handful" in front of her own husband.

And then there is the matter of how PB deals with the problems of all the court ladies.

(Screenshots from the Skylia YouTube Channel)

The period of the Unity Tour isn't exactly an easy time for anyone. The LIs each deal with their own shit, and the ladies of the court themselves have their own reasons for being reluctant to return. The entire point of this tour is to address their specific concerns as well as that of their families', because without the courtiers themselves we wouldn't have as strong a court.

In Madeleine's case, we have to talk to her through a diamond scene and then educate her mother on her ways of mourning lost opportunities, among other things. In Penelope's case we are required to give her complete protection and emotional security, for her to even bother joining the tour (there is branch coding where she can refuse to be a part of the tour at all). Even for Olivia - who is already an ally - the diamond scene encourages us to stand up to her aunt, by letting Olivia know that it is valid for her to lean on others for support without being considered weak.

But for Kiara? The best we can come up with, while in her duchy, is some version of - "You're smart. You'd know that if you left now, people will say bad things about Cordonia and then it would be your fault". You either manipulate her, or insult her as being a useless excuse of a diplomat. As I mentioned in another essay, Kiara's comfort is a non-factor. The gap between the care we were expected to give to Madeleine and Penelope, and what we deign to give Kiara in Castelserraillan (which is...well...nothing), is massive. And this gap would only increase - not reduce - in the books to come.

It might seem a bit irrelevant to talk about this, especially when this essay is about Drake and Kiara. But it's important to take note of this inherent disdain the writers had towards this one character - and people close to her. Because it is only too easy to pretend that the writers "got scared of the crazy stans".

Of course the stans had a huge, huge role in this. Of course their vitriol and racism succeeded in bringing about (what I consider) one of the most disgusting dialogue options in this series...or perhaps in any series. But I doubt those "crazy stans" would have gotten this far, without a team that didn't mind being cruel to Kiara.

When the Fandom and Canon are both Heartless: Drake and Kiara in TRR3

As I've mentioned in previous essays in this series, playthrough divergences truly begin in TRR3 (eg. While the playthroughs acknowledge who you chose as endgame by end-TRR2, you can still access diamond scenes through a small tweak that allows you to romance other LIs). And whichever LI didn't get engaged with the MC had indications of a new romantic possibility coming up. These were scenes you wouldn't find in your own playthrough with that LI as your fiancé/e.

Kiara doesn't appear in TRR3 until Ch 7, when the entourage comes to her estate Castelserraillan. There aren't a lot of Drake and Kiara scenes themselves, and I will get into why, section by section.

1. Kiara Greets the Group at Castelserraillan (TRR3 Ch 7)

Many Drake stans - once they found their MCs engaged to Drake in TRR2 - seemed to be practically giddy at the prospect of showing off their newly-engaged status to Kiara, and hurting her through the news. They were perhaps more excited about this than their upcoming wedding.

Well, they got that chance in Ch 7. In every other playthrough, she still holds the same feelings for Drake, and compliments his suit as Drake awkwardly fails to meet her eye. In his specific playthrough, Drake defiantly shows off his relationship with the MC, and Kiara shows a slight wistfulness before she forces herself to be normal then wishes the happy couple well. You'd think that would be enough to satisfy the stans who had been baying for her blood all of the previous book.

A throwaway line about Drake knowing where Kiara's room was, had already raised the heckles of a whole bunch of his stans. Kiara's "wistful look" in her first TRR3 scene somehow added fuel to that fire. Suddenly, you got to see a raging torrent of posts demanding to know if Drake had had an affair with Kiara. Fanfic had already been written about Drake cheating on the MC with Kiara by this point - and some of those headcanons and fanfic hinged on making Drake the innocent/vulnerable one, taken advantage of by this sexy, obsessed woman who would be either a danger to him or would be juxtaposed with the "pure", "virginal", "perfect" MC. Drake would never be the problem here, and none of the stans screaming over the possibility of Drake sleeping with Kiara would dream of blaming him for it. No, Kiara was predatory, Kiara was obsessed, if anything happened between them it would be likely Kiara's fault.

This is where it's important to note, again, that none of the more obvious signs of the "Jezebel" stereotype seem to be used in canon for Kiara. While cruel in her own way, the TRR MC doesn't exactly slut shame her or believe Drake will be unfaithful to her, Kiara isn't accused of seducing (or even trying to seduce) anyone, and she actually places respectful personal boundaries for herself in her attraction to Drake, that she never crosses. She may indulge in a light flirtation with him, try to impress him or simply talk to him - but you will never catch her forcing her sexual attention on him like Olivia did with Liam. Yet in popular fanlore, even Olivia's feelings were often cast in a far more noble light in contrast to Kiara's.

In her essay, The "Offending" Breast of Janet Jackson: Public Discourse Surrounding the Jackson/Timberlake Performance at Super Bowl XXXVIII, Dr Shannon. L Holland explores the historical and contemporary uses of the Jezebel stereotype in depictions of Black women in popular culture and discourse, especially in contrast to white masculinity (which in these contexts, is often viewed as innocent and blameless - and much of the blame lies with the Jezebel figure). The "Jezebel" stereotype "has come to symbolize both a malign, cunning sexual object and an autonomous, liberated sexual agent" - she is at once an independent sexual being making her own choices, and someone who is "incapable" of reining in her sexual appetite...and is therefore often depicted as not only a threat to the "purer" (and often "whiter" or "lighter skinned") woman, but also dangerous for whoever she is "obsessed" with. And we see this time and again in the discourse around Kiara - the fanfic that depicts her in a range of scenarios (stalker, obsessed lover, abusive girlfriend who will break a bottle over Drake's head, at times even descending into murderer to get the man she wants). Which is how we wound up in a position where Kiara even breathing the same air as Drake was viewed as a threat.

It didn't matter that he was flaunting his love for the Drake MC in that playthrough to send a message to Kiara, or that he stayed silent with the others as his wife badgered her into joining the tour. It didn't even matter that Kiara never got a diamond scene the way the two other women did, despite being the most harmed among the ladies. What mattered was that Kiara existed. Her damn existence was the threat.

2. Cheering for Drake's Victory (Ch 10)

Ch 9 of TRR3 was released to players on April 27th, 2018. Immediately after, a mid-book hiatus was announced, mostly to work on some new art (very possibly the red pandas), work on the wedding, and make changes (such as shifting diamond scenes from character-centric ones to LI specific - they'd already started making changes to LI diamond scenes). The book would return 2 months later, in June.

In a livestream before the hiatus ended, the writers had made it very painfully clear that Kiara's feelings for Drake was one-sided. And by that I mean they really emphasized on the one-sidedness of her affection, almost as if to reassure the panicking stans. This would manifest in any future interactions between the two - both in Drake's single and engaged playthroughs - and any hope that such a pairing would even be hinted at was over. But there was one variation that the team had perhaps neglected to edit out.

A small one-word depiction of Kiara cheering Drake when he wins his duel against Neville, joining his friends to praise him. It really isn't much - just Kiara saying "bravo!" before Savannah rushes up to hug him, which is replaced by a scene of Drake himself going up to the MC and passionately kissing her in his own playthrough. What is definitely striking about this depiction is that Kiara was clubbed with his close friends and his sister, rather than the second group of people that largely represented the larger court (Rashad and Queen Regina) who offer their congratulations.

Given the way the writers wrote any remaining interactions between Drake and Kiara, and the fact that this small appearance doesn't really amount to anything, it is possible that this variation was part of an earlier draft that involved other hints, that the writers failed to notice when they put up Ch 10. If they had, I'm pretty certain it wouldn't have stayed in the book.

3. Leaving Court + Wedding Conversations

Remember how I kept stating in this essay that the narrative was going to take their enthusiastic pandering of the "possessive stans" end of the fandom, to some dark, disturbing places? Well, here we are.

Tbh, the writers could have just stopped showing any interactions between the two, or given Kiara another boyfriend if their aim was simply to show that Drake and Kiara would never be endgame. They had done that with Maxwell and Penelope already...oh. I forgot. They actually wanted us to care for Penelope.

Up until this point, Drake's mean streak re: Kiara was present, but not really as obvious as it gets here. PB takes that cruelty several steps further in these two chapters, starting with Ch 11. Ch 11 was fanservice to the people who shouted abuses and "joked" about killing Kiara in every chance they could get. Ch 12 showed this sentiment at its worst, covered it up with enough fluff so it would be harder for people who liked Kiara to notice...and let those players get away with it.

In Ch 11, Kiara approaches the MC and her group to inform them that she is withdrawing from the tour. Drake is the first to respond to this, remaking at the suddenness of the departure. The MC can speculate on a couple of things, ranging from sympathy (that she might be afraid), selfishness (that she is "bailing out" on the MC) and suspicion (that she is hiding something).

In all three options, a pensive Hana expresses sympathy and encourages the group to "reach out". In all three options, Drake will only view Kiara as a suspect.

Mind you - according to Ch 12, Drake is saying this knowing Kiara was injured at Homecoming Ball...and knowing exactly which weapon she was injured with. Aware that she has gone through an event as traumatic as that (if we go by his "just one step at a time" monologue to Kiara), better aware than most how it would feel...he still opts to act like her motives should be suspicious.

This is further emphasized in the Drake playthrough, through the armory scene that the MC takes with Maxwell.

As I've mentioned in the post on this scene, it is divided into three halves. The first half deals with whoever the MC rejected (either Liam, or Drake in Liam's playthrough). The third is buildup to Lucretia's plans to usurp the throne. The second is supposed to be about the excitement among the members of the court for the wedding, and of course as the only people who come for the tour by default (and Madeleine is already taken for the first scene), Kiara and Hakim are used for this scene!

I will only focus on the Drake version of this scene today. There are a few things you notice straight off the bat:

1. Since this is Drake's playthrough, the narrative seems to do away completely with any lingering feelings Kiara may have had are done away with. In this scene she is quite happy about Drake's wedding - in fact, practically chipper. Literally nothing about her behaviour here serves as a reminder that she once had feelings for him.

2. Drake's response to Kiara attending his wedding ties in pretty well with his earlier default suspicion of her. Unlike Hana who is surprised but also happy that Kiara is attending, he seems to voice it as a doubt or a question. While that makes sense and there is continuity, it's pretty awful that he is allowed to suspect her like this and feel no remorse when the truth about her is revealed.

3. Now as I said in the post, this scene is meant to be a buildup to Drake's ice-palace scene. He speaks about wanting a private, country-style wedding in a natural place there, and Kiara's gentle teasing in this scene is supposed to be an indicator of how much he dislikes the usual fanfare. Okay. Fair enough. You're uncomfortable with the fancy decorations and the insane planning, fine.

4. But it's Drake's attitude towards Kiara in this scene that leaves a bad taste in the mouth (unless you were one of those Drake stans that liked to threaten murder on this character ig). The narrative really went out of their way to make him sound uncommonly angry with her, just for asking about his wedding. He angrily hisses at her to keep her voice down the moment she asks about the wedding, and then lashes out the moment she teases him about his love for the MC and his reluctance to be very public about it in that context. Of course, people who either liked Drake or hated Kiara would downplay this scene - either blaming Kiara for not magically knowing his likes or dislikes, or acting like Drake's behaviour in this scene is no big deal.

And his explanation in the ice palace scene really doesn't cut it as a reason for why he should be this pissed off at Kiara's excitement. There is no real bitterness or resentment tied in with the fancy trappings that are mentioned in that specific scene - it's just that he likes simplicity better. If Kiara doesn't know him well enough to understand that - it's because he has never properly talked to her. She made attempts to converse whenever she could. You can claim he never owed her a conversation - but in that case she doesn't owe him a complete understanding of his wants either. He could have just politely answered the question and changed the subject, or quickly took his leave.

He is well-versed enough in court etiquette by this point that he could have managed to sound civil enough. That he could have made a quick, polite exit. But no, he gave her the kind of anger that one reserves for someone who is kicking a puppy or stealing candy from a child, instead. And it was Kiara's grace that allowed her to view that awful behaviour in a more positive light.

It's pretty clear this scene - and to some extent the framing of the next - was made specifically for those Drake stans who were screaming and throwing tantrums about a possible affair. It was to highlight that there was no way Drake could ever return Kiara's feelings - and the only way they could do that was by making sure he treated her as rudely and inhumanely as possible.

I didn't think it could get any worse than this, when I saw this version of the scene...but then I saw Ch 12.

The Talk

If you were to speak just about fandom reactions to this scene...the responses to Kiara chronicling her trauma after Homecoming Ball, were pretty positive. Plenty chose the middle option "You're suffering from the trauma of the event. You need help", and cooed over Drake's touching little monologue about "taking it one day at a time".

I admit at the time I was fooled too. But one thing did niggle at me as I played both this option, and the "understandably cautious" one (I would later understand that the latter was not very good either - it has a thin veneer of "validating" Kiara's feelings, but it still has the MC and Drake expecting her to put their needs before her own safety and sanity).

Drake was reassuring to an extent in both options, sure. But why were his responses so different? Why was his answer to Kiara so closely tied to whatever point the MC was making, rather than independent of it? After all, he was the one who should be able to better relate to Kiara - wouldn't he have thoughts of his own here? If the MC chose that horrible final option, Drake would correct her and comfort Kiara instead, wouldn't he? Wouldn't he???

It was only when I (reluctantly) pressed that third option ("not as driven as I thought you were") that I understood what Drake's role in this scene was.

He wasn't going to be there for Kiara. He wasn't even sympathetic to her! It wasn't even going to be about two traumatized people connecting over their trauma. Drake was a puppet. He was there to parrot whatever garbage came out of the MC's mouth.

Because in the third - and most horrific - option, the MC is allowed to minimize Kiara's trauma, and mock her ambitions in the face of what she has just gone through. Drake is allowed to agree with her ("sometimes ambassadors have to work in dangerous areas"). Kiara is forced by the same narrative to find value in these words.

And all of this, stems from a scenario where Drake and the MC go in suspecting this woman from the jump. Where Maxwell is happy to make jokes about her being a suspect. Where the only two decent people in this group - Liam and Hana - are conveniently written out of the scene, ensuring that these ghouls can act the way they want around Kiara, and get away with it.

Not once is Kiara herself ever allowed to know that the group suspected her by default, nor is she allowed to go through with her intention to leave court. The very roots of this scene are rotten.

Very often, when this scene in particular is addressed, not many people actually address Drake's behaviour here - or in the previous chapter. Stans will vaguely, and conveniently, blame the group as a whole rather than their favourites. Such a tactic allows them to never name the specific people or specific actions, and therefore the main people involved in speaking to Kiara the way they did never have to be held accountable. This is particularly relevant in the case of Drake.

It was Drake's idea to interrogate her. He was the one constantly harping about her "suspicious behaviour". He was the one aware of what happened to her yet chose to think of her as shady. He was the one who should have known better, yet was absolutely game to minimize her trauma or engage in emotional blackmail. And neither he nor the MC came out of this conversation feeling anything resembling remorse. Because, apparently, they never did anything wrong.

They got what they wanted. At best, Drake and the MC manipulated this woman (again) into returning to their court. At worst, they badgered and bullied her into that decision. Either way, she was going to return, and the narrative was going to pretend that the MC and Drake were great people for making it happen.

I have heard some justifications over the years for Drake's behaviour here. One is that he "tends to act like an asshole to everyone". Another is that Kiara is a noble so he was never going to see her in a positive light. Which is hilarious to me, honestly, because in the same book you have Drake reassure Penelope - the woman who had made the MC the target of a reputation-ending scandal - and comfort her when she sees Madeleine. If this was really about the chip on the shoulder he had for nobility, why was he so kind to Penelope? And if Penelope's mental health warranted a change in mindset and behaviour from Drake's end, why was Kiara not worthy of that as well?

The truth is this. Drake was allowed to express his mean streak to a black woman, bully a black woman (the pranks), lash out at a black woman (the conversation at the Lythikos Ball), suspect a black woman, and finally minimize her trauma if the Duchess he had a crush on wanted to. While being overly protective and chivalrous to the white woman who actually did harm her. No matter what way you spin it, that is what Drake's behaviour - especially in TRR3 - is.

The way the team trampled over this "pairing" post that miniscule hint in TRR3 Ch 7, would make a rampaging elephant look like a ballerina in comparison. They wanted to make it clear after the hiatus that Drake x Kiara would never happen, in any eventuality, in any future, in any universe. And no matter how much we pin this on "crazy stans" (who do hold some responsibility for sure, for their own veiled racism), it's a fact that the writing team was comfortable doing this. They had already found other ways to pile disrespect on their sole recurring black female character - what was a little more?

TRH and Beyond: Taking Away What Was Left of Kiara's Remaining Fanbase

Given all the narrative back-and-forth and shadiness, I'd have to say the end Kiara got in TRR3 was comparatively...decent. Not great...not exactly satisfying...decent.

Her fighting off the assassins at the boutique ("not again...not again!!") was the highlight of that scene. In Hana's playthrough, Kiara was her MOH by default, and the lines the MC could give if you chose her in other playthroughs was pretty sweet. At the end of the book, her father would make Kiara his heir, after her older brother Ezekiel abdicated. There were still things I was always going to hate (such as the fact that we could lie about "having Kiara's back" - we absolutely did not) about the aftermath, but all in all as a fan...I could maybe envision a fairly happy ending for her with what we got.

The next series, The Royal Heir, would debut on June 2019, almost a year after TRR3's own debut. This would be the first series that would go completely LI-divergent, spanning four books. It started out as an attempt to envision the future (and pasts) of the main characters, as well as tie loose ends...but descended into an incoherent, retconning mess with each book.

Kiara doesn't feature much in Book 1, but is pretty prominent in certain chapters like Ch 7 (Savannah's bachelorette), Savannah's wedding, and the Apple Ball in the finale. You'll often find a marked difference between the way she is looked at for most of the book, and how the MC speaks to her in TRH1's finale.

Savannah's bachelorette, for instance, features all the ladies of the court in Texas, with new "country" looks and engaging with Texan culture. Here, too, you see a sign of PB leaning into popular perceptions of Kiara rather than remembering their own writing, when we see how Savannah praises the MC by default but has very little to say about her former friend Kiara. Since Savannah's return to court in TRR3, the team seemed to have forgotten that other ladies of the court weren't very nice to her, and Kiara was the only one concerned for her. They have Olivia act sweet and caring towards Savannah in both TRR3 Ch 17 and TRH1 Ch 7, conveniently forgetting the insults she piled upon Drake's sister in the first book. Savannah never has to talk about Kiara's friendship at all, other than a teasing comment hinting at her French lessons. Savannah was never expected to have any gratitude or affection towards Kiara even though she was the only woman who cared about her in court before she left.

An interesting thing to note in the diamond scene of the bachelorette is the way the courtly ladies' previous/current "romances" are framed. Kiara's, in particular, warrants a lot of discussion. Unlike Olivia (who can address her feelings for Liam regardless of playthrough, if asked, and can actually show some level of resentment towards him for not picking her), Kiara's feelings are addressed only if the MC isn't married to Drake. If she is, Kiara mentions a fondness for "rugged, down-to-earth men" (which the MC and Penelope perceive to mean hunky and muscular), and avoids mentioning his name at all.

There are two very interesting things to note about this sequence. One is the pattern of how, and how far, are Olivia and Kiara are allowed to address their feelings for these men. Not only is Olivia allowed to be open about her feelings and her bitterness (despite Liam actually romancing her in TRR3!), the narrative demands our respect for her position and plight. The Liam MC lauds her honesty and her decision to move ahead, unfazed even by her anger for something Liam didn't even owe her. In contrast, in the Drake playthrough, the writing makes sure Kiara never mentions him by name. And not only that, when the MC and Penelope tease her about her romantic preference, she is shown to stammer and seems downright afraid of the MC.

The fact that there is such a gap in how Olivia and Kiara are allowed to act about the men they love, and the fact that this gap was normalized so much in fandom discourse that it didn't even warrant a discussion, tells us plenty about the fandom too. The fandom position has almost always been that Liam owes Olivia love, appreciation, kindness. And that Drake owes Kiara nothing, not even common human decency. Which is why the fandom wants Liam punished for the high crime of not loving Olivia back. Which is why Drake is allowed to treat Kiara like an irritating pest at his best, and like utter garbage at his worst...and almost no one so much as bats an eyelid.

Since most of the story of TRH1 seemed to revolve around the ranch, the ladies of the court made minimal appearances and most of those were in keeping with patterns established in TRR3 (except for maybe Olivia's spy scenes). Some of their parents - too - feature in Royal Council scenes: Godfrey and Landon are part of this council and are seen during the MC's announcement - no one from Kiara's family, besides her brother Ezekiel who is dating Penelope, make any appearances in this book. Towards the end of the book, however, you suddenly find a scene or two where the narrative is suddenly, and inexplicably, syrupy sweet to Kiara:

(Screenshots from the Skylia YouTube Channel. 1-5 are from Ch 18, during the council meeting. 7-10 are also from Ch 18, at the start of the ball. The last two are from the finale as buildup for the pregnancy photoshoot)

There are indications of Kiara's diplomacy and good advice in other parts of the book too (such as her suggestions for dealing with the foreign royals at the baby shower) but never were the praise and compliments as obvious as they were in the last two chapters of TRH1. Kiara was given a quippy dialogue to spout at Godfrey, who would later be revealed as the murderer of Queen Eleanor. All three of the MC's dialogue options in response would praise Kiara by default (a rarity). King Bradshaw would shower her with compliments too about her talent and expertise. And when Kiara approached us with an offer for a pregnancy photoshoot, the MC could cheerfully say "for you, Kiara? Of course!" as if they'd been bffs from the beginning.

There isn't any obvious reason why we saw this sudden change, but I can make an educated guess or two. A pattern that commonly emerges with attempts to address something that would benefit Kiara, is that the writers often only do it when enough people complain; that was how we got the horrible Lythikos sequence. Midway through TRH1, I managed to put up an essay exploring Kiara's treatment (centered around the Lythikos sequence in TRR3 Ch 12) in comparison to Penelope's and Madeleine's. It did not receive an immediate fandom wide response, but several readers did come away from that essay feeling like Kiara really got the short end of the stick, compared to all the other court ladies. I'm not sure whether that essay had a direct impact, but those three scenes PB added to the finale chapters do make me wonder. Was the team trying to prove to the fandom that they did like Kiara and wouldn't personally sabotage her, either for their own enjoyment or to pander to a section of the fandom?

If they did, then that plan didn't last beyond these two chapters.

Another possibility of course was to give Kiara something slightly positive before they did her dirty - again - in TRH2 and 3. Because in those two books, they managed to first make her - along with the rest of the council - party to a vote (that everyone was involved in, including the LIs!) that would later prove detrimental for the country. They would then have her be the only heir involved in the notorious Coventus Nobilis, which ensured that anyone who wanted to hate Kiara could tie her to her vote in favour of Bartie Sr, without ever asking any further questions. This was a far more successful attempt, because most of the fandom already believed the misconceptions of Kiara's characterization to be truth, and these storylines simply added fuel to the fire.

Kiara's biggest supporters tended to be a section of the Liam fandom, as well as wlw stans who tended to like most of the courtly women. Having her vote for Bartie at the end of TRH2, and her explanations in TRH3 about the "MC's ruling style" (which was really canon's way of making sure she did more a silent diss on Liam) was written specifically to place a serious dent among her fans who liked Liam. And sadly, it worked in part. Because even if one considered Kiara's thoughts on "reactive ruling" accurate, it was a fact that the nobility (she included) would have to be blaming Liam for something that the entire Council voted for, and that Liam and his friends fixed on their own.

Making Kiara the lone person to voice this argument, made her a target in this fandom. I mean, people were ready to praise Madeleine and speak of her as loyal (eagerly ignoring that she was actively involved in the child's kidnapping if you didn't coddle her enough), and badmouth Kiara in the same breath, claiming that Kiara wasn't worth forgiving and people should just get over Madeleine's deeds in the past.

This resurgence of hate didn't just erupt out of nowhere. Once they finished spending two chapters on two-second compliments to Kiara, PB reverted in the next two books to some of their usual patterns with her. For instance, remember how I mentioned that PB had an obsession with never letting Kiara and Liam interact? In TRH, they repeated this pattern, but with the Heir. The only scene Kiara has where she can so much as touch the heir is in the last part of TRH3, if you choose for Kiara to read to her. Penelope is regularly allowed to hold her even though she has often placed this child in dangerous situations (on one occasion, Kiara herself had to stop her) - even Madeleine is given an entire babysitting scene to win her favour. But Kiara is the only lady of the court who is made to stay away or care for the child from a distance.

Kiara's family (besides Zeke, and just because he is Penelope's fiance/husband) is subject to disrespect in this book too. Hakim and Joelle were both conspicuously absent from the pregnancy announcement presscon in TRH1 (where Landon, Godfrey and Bartie Sr somehow featured!!), and future books would either retcon the family or force them to do things the other families didn't have to do. In TRH2, the MC takes a tour of the Great Houses with her newborn daughter, and each house is expected to pledge loyalty to her and the crown in different ways. Hakim is written as "bending to his knees" for the child. This is something only Adeleide and Madeleine - whose house, might I remind you, are considered the house of traitors at this point - have to do. Landon and Emmeline are never expected to express their loyalty to this extent.

In TRH3, the narrative callously pushes the Therons under the bus to make the Ebrim family's reluctance to help the MC make sense - the Therons are now "traditionalists" who frown upon scandals and may not allow Zeke to marry Penelope on the account of her past annulled marriage (this makes no sense when you take a closer look at the Therons themselves in TRR3 - they're a far more balanced, far more progressive family than any of the other Great Houses. They even took Zeke's abdication well!). Furthermore, you'll notice that the framing of Penelope's past with Guy is worlds apart from the disdain the narrative shows for the Therons during the flower festival. It is notable that in the latter, the black women are depicted very negatively - Kiara is shown unable to manage her own competition, Joelle is depicted as pompous and incapable of losing gracefully, Drake gets to take sarcastic potshots at Lerato for trying to charm the MC into voting for her and Drake into convincing her to vote. Meanwhile white people like Landon and Marguerite are presented in a just as humourous but less mocking light (eg. Landon moving his table courteously before flipping it in the flashback).

Even into TRF (Ch12), the narrative gives us choices where we can stand up to people criticizing Landon and Emmeline's parenting ("Duke Landon and his wife raised a kind, generous daughter..."). We are allowed to be far less critical of the Ebrims overall, we are allowed to be more charitable even in the dialogue options for suspecting Landon than we are of Kiara (think of how Maxwell can suspect that Kiara was planning to betray us all along). At the end of the Flower Festival, Kiara is made to appear contrite as the MC can choose to either demand she make this right before the latter can forgive her, or indicate that she never will. Ironically, a Penelope who can choose her fancy wedding over the safety of the MC's child never has to face words that harsh.

You will also notice if you look more closely, that the narrative continues to frame events surrounding Penelope and Kiara in opposing ways. Penelope is perpetually viewed as a victim, and Kiara constantly as a suspect.

We are expected to support Penelope, and to mistrust Kiara. And even though Kiara's feelings had long since become a thing of the past, Drake still maintains his animosity towards her and her family. And like everything else, it is so normalized at this point that you barely even notice it anymore.

In TRH2, Drake is allowed to tar all nobles with the same brush because of Godfrey's actions. Though his statement about the nobility ("We can't trust any of them to have Liam's back...not unless it's in their own selfish interests") is about the entire nobility, it is striking that he says this just before they go to Castelserraillan. The Therons are also the only noble family that Drake makes sarcastic comments about (in reference to Liam informing us that their province is a trade hub, Drake quips that "they are going to want to trade babies with us"). These snide comments he rarely makes about other noble families, and serves as a sharp contrast to how he treats the Ebrims (during Penelope's wedding festivities, he is unnaturally invested in Penelope getting a happy ending with Ezekiel). We can't even claim that his behaviour towards Kiara is in line with his disdain for nobles, because Penelope is proof that he is perfectly capable of showing compassion to most of them!

TRH3 ends with Kiara doing an apology tour of sorts - diplomatic missions aimed at improving Cordonia's international relations. TRF finds almost all the ladies of the court - even Olivia - in very minimal roles, as the focus shifts to the Via Imperii. Still, the narrative makes more references to Penelope than to Kiara, to the extent that the epilogue ends on both the MC and Penelope celebrating their pregnancies (Penelope's first and the MC's second) together.

Overall, you will find that the narrative repeated certain patterns with Kiara - the tendency to find her suspicious, purposely limiting scenes with important characters like Liam (TRR) and the heir (TRH) while the white courtiers get almost unlimited access, the discrepancies in expectations for her vs other ladies (eg. Madeleine is hailed for being "good" even though that is solely dependent on how you treat her. Kiara is largely ignored whenever she does help, and attacked when she is written to support the enemy). Drake - even as a former alternative to her, who should have gotten over whatever nonsense beef he'd had with her earlier - is allowed to make snide remarks about her home and family.

It's pretty clear they could do this because they could get away with it... because most of the fandom made it so easy for them to get away with it.

Fandom

When I look back at how the perception of Kiara in the fandom progressed over the years, I find it half-amusing, half-sad how much of it is rooted more in fanlore, and how little in actual fact. And this is something you couldn't just pin on "crazy Drake stans" - they were the biggest promoters of these lies and misconceptions, sure, but normally analytical, commonsense readers often believed that Kiara was fake and a snob and awful to Penelope too.

I get some of it, given the timing of Kiara and Penelope's scene at the beginning of TRR2. It takes place at a low point in the MC's story, a time when she isn't even sure the LIs want to support her. Coupled with that is the lasting image of Penelope hugging you and complaining about Madeleine, making you feel like she's more willing to give you a sliver of solidarity. Coupled with that, is Olivia's newfound popularity in the fandom - once she emerges in Ch 5 of that book, fans believed they found their wildcard who would stand by them in complete solidarity among the ladies of the court (did they ignore Hana's already massive contributions to the investigation? Yes they did. Yes they did). Madeleine herself is shown giving quotable quotes about female solidarity and Tariq's guilt in TRR2 Ch 7, which - coupled with Justin's high praise of her - made people want to find things to like about her too. Penelope's own betrayal was overshadowed by an expectation to support a person with serious mental health struggles.

Kiara's the only one who doesn't get such backstories or explanations. So at least in the heat of the moment, in reading those chapters between weekly gaps, it makes sense that a false impression of her got somewhat solidified.

But when you build your interpretations out of lies and misinterpretations, how does it become so valid that even the writers bend to it and prefer to show that?

Every fandom has its "crazy stans". And this instance wouldn't be the first or last time they are pandered to. But when the same stans get backed up by the "saner", more commonsense members of fandom; when even neutral readers promote versions of a story without actually looking at the scenes in question - that's when a fandom is in danger of turning a "headcanon" into canon.

Kiara being a horrible friend to Penelope wasn't canon. Kiara being a snob was not canon. Kiara being creepy towards Drake wasn't canon either. Especially when you take the fandom response to Olivia's forced kiss on Liam into account.

And that brings me to another point. I had been asked once why I felt the need to compare Kiara to the other ladies in my defenses of her. It's important, when we speak of the kind of hate Kiara received, to understand how a lot of flaws that the entire court has (eg classism) is often pinned onto a lone person, and how several white female characters could get away with worse behaviour while Kiara alone was slammed for harmless interactions.

This is most apparent when you look at how Olivia's violation of Liam's consent is perceived, vs Kiara's harmless flirtation with Drake in TRR2. Which woman had fans foaming at the mouth and wanting to kill her? Which woman was given dozens and dozens of fanfic and content that depicted her as creepy, desperate, downright obsessed with their man? Which woman got the "oh well, he doesn't owe her anything 🤷🏽‍♀️" vs a "he doesn't love her back?? WHAT AN INSENSITIVE ASSHOLE!!1111"?

Perhaps this Olivia/Kiara comparison is where the fandom's tendency to cast Kiara into the Jezebel stereotype is the most visible. Kiara's very act of talking to Drake sometimes is registered as a threat to those stans, and it reflects in the way they speak of her, the way they speak of their MC's own relationship with Drake in association with her (eg. the number of posts rejoicing at the thought of showing off their "engaged to Drake" status at Kiara's estate), the way they're allowed to dehumanize her and villify her (eg. The edit I mentioned at the beginning). This is often encouraged by their friends who are fans of other characters, and you can see that in sharp contrast, Olivia - despite her actions in Book 1 and her resentment of Liam for not loving her back in other books - is still often viewed with sympathy and respect. Her feelings - still viewed as genuine, even pure. To the point where PB eventually allows Olivia to constantly address her feelings about the MC's and Liam's relationship, while forcing Kiara to not even utter Drake's name in his playthrough.

But you see this with other characters, and in other contexts too. Particularly how Madeleine can be duplicitous, hypocritical, and power-hungry, and it's Kiara who is called these things despite her actual honesty in canon. Madeleine can get away with actually helping Bartie Sr kidnap the MC's daughter in TRH3 without a murmur, in the same fandom where people can curse Kiara for voting for Bartie Sr "to take the child away" (despite her telling the MC and spouse that she was promised they would have custody of the child, therefore the claim that she "voted to take the child away from their parent" is inaccurate).

You saw some of these discrepancies in how Penelope and Kiara were spoken about too - Penelope's crime in TRR2 was considered easily forgiveable, while Kiara's innocence is constantly called into question. Kiara was often viewed negatively for what the fandom perceived as "meanness" to Penelope (when it was in fact Kiara worrying about how Penelope would fare when she wasn't around) while Penelope herself was never expected to be a good friend to Kiara. An interesting thing to note about the fandom response to Penelope and Kiara showed that often when posters wanted to hate on Penelope, she and Kiara would be clubbed together, almost as a unit. This was especially prevalent in TRH3. It was easy to express hatred for Kiara independently, but most posts that showed a dislike for Penelope (besides from specific Kiara stans) would often tie her with Kiara, as if there wasn't much to hate about her otherwise.

It is important to line up whatever hate Kiara gets with the responses to the other women - especially in the face of what the latter are allowed to get away with. In doing so, you get a better sense of what is allowed for a certain subset of women, and what isn't allowed or permitted for black women specifically.

Often, the fans who would not hesitate to call her alone fake, opportunistic and creepy were WOC, and there have been cases where some would use their identity as WOC to shield themselves from the criticism concerning their vitriol. It would often descend into "I don't hate her because she is black, I hate her because {insert inaccurate/false/convoluted justification here}". It didn't matter that much of this information wasn't based in fact, or had a heavy bias that they never applied to anyone else. It only mattered that because they were WOC, somehow that meant that they couldn't possibly be racist. That their unfounded hatred for Kiara had to be legitimate. As if there was no chance that someone who was WOC couldn't be antiblack too. I mean, the ultimate proof of this could be found in TRR itself - the two head writers of the TRR/H/F series' are Asian women - who have a pattern of liking mean (white) women, and who didn't mind throwing the black woman and her black family in their story repeatedly under the bus, who didn't mind minimizing and retconning the abuse and childhood trauma that the darker-skinned Asian woman in their story went through.

Overall, it is possible that the fandom did take some of their cues (for their impression of Kiara) from the inherent disdain found in canon itself. But many of them also misinterpreted several things about Kiara, then didn't bother to revisit those biases with a critical eye, or even try to see if they were wrong. And that baseless hatred fed the already-existing disdain that Kiara's own writers had towards her. Resulting in the kind of horrific, racist garbage that we got to see in TRR3, and the constant attempts in canon to pull her down in TRH.

Did Drake and Kiara Ever Have A Chance?

There have been various opinions - from both Kiara fans and haters - for why a Driara ship would never work. He hates nobles, she won't like his disdain for art and culture, he likes the simpler life, she's a snob...so on and so forth. Many people will agree it's not a great ship, but of course with differing opinions on why.

I, however, often wondered at possible scenarios where such a pairing could work. The magic of shipping is often that you can play around with personalities and pair almost anyone, and find enough reasons to explain why they would tick. And in Drake and Kiara's case, personally, I do feel like it's a complicated question to answer - primarily because I feel like the authorial intent at the beginning may have been very, very different to what finally happened in Drake's story.

A lot of Drake's early writing focused on the reasons behind his mistrust of the court and his tendency to view the people he loves who are part of it (eg. Liam and later the group) as anomalies. There are two ways you could take such a story in TRR2 - you could either get him to admit to the flaws in his own thinking (thereby providing a more nuanced insight) and allow him to grow from there, or you could just have him double down on his biases and never change beyond the superficial. The team of TRR - esp the head writers, Kara and Jen who were both v fond of him - definitely seemed to go in the latter direction.

Drake's prediction in Coney Island does indicate that he should let go of the past, and I honestly feel like the sequences where he learned about Maxwell straining House Beaumont's finances to help her, and Kiara and Savannah's friendship, could have been turning points for him if the writers weren't so obsessed with proving him right all the time - even when he was supposed to be wrong. Maxwell and Kiara, in their own ways, were proof that not every noble was the same, nor would every noble treat the commoners around them all the same way. However, the narrative trampled all over this possibility in TRR2 Ch 9, where Drake could optionally claim that the Beaumont brothers (among others) were "just looking out for themselves, no matter the consequences", or later when the narrative had Savannah be grateful to him for breaking her confidence to Bertrand, and have Maxwell try to earn his forgiveness in Ch 12 rather than the other way around. It allowed Drake to be selective about the nobles he admired or defended, while still free to treat certain others like garbage.

I could easily envision a Driara pairing for most of TRR2. I could even see it as potentially salvageable in certain parts of TRR3. But the moment they had Drake readily suspect her, the moment the team thought it would be okay for Drake to even suggest minimizing her trauma...that option was no longer worth seeing. Not for Drake, but for Kiara. Drake would have to be the worst possible guy I could find for her, in such a scenario.

But I could see potential in a storyline that had Drake understand that some of these people weren't the monsters he so desperately wanted them to be. In one where he could hear about Kiara's friendship with his sister, and learn about a whole new side of her. One where he maybe felt insecure ("I'm not her type") and could be reassured by a woman who had likely held a torch for him since they were teens/young adults. One where they could reach out to each other in their pain and trauma, and find solace. One where Drake knew that the family he may be marrying into would respect him, and his father too. There were possibilities there.

It would still take more work - his mean streak for one would need to be reduced by more than a half. A lot of it, of course, was kept for the Drake stans, but it really doesn't add much to Drake's character besides making him a mean-spirited, hypocritical bitch who only targets the lone black woman this way (and Olivia occasionally, if she goads him). If the narrative did want to keep a characterization where Drake acts weird around the girl he likes, they could - but that story would need a lot more work to be palatable.

All of this is to say that regardless of personal bias, there were possibilities there. There was a sliver of potential. And if they wanted to let go of that potential midway, they didn't have to go about that the way they finally did. They could have just worked on creating another love interest for her. They managed to create a brother for her overnight just so Penelope could have a boyfriend; they could have easily done the same for Kiara.

Multiple factors went down that explain why the Driara ship didn't take off. But many of them boil down to one specific root cause - the white women (whether they caused actual harm or not) needed to be protected, needed to be cherished. The black woman who dared to ask for the same things from their pet LI, would be viewed as a threat, a villain, a creep...just for breathing in his direction.

And her writers cared so little, that they took the fanon perception for her and stamped it onto their canon, like it was the truth.

They didn't do any of this for the woman who forced a kiss on a prominent LI. They didn't do this on the woman who betrayed the MC and set her up for assault. They didn't do this to the woman who bullied the lone female LI, and swore to continue doing so till she broke.

They did this for the one woman who was fairly innocent of most of these crimes, actually respected the LI and treated him well.

They did this because they could get away with it. Because they were confident that the fandom they wrote the story for, would let them get away with it. And tragically...they were right.

--

Resources I used to learn about the Jezebel stereotype:

The "Offending" Breast of Janet Jackson: Public Discourse Surrounding the Jackson/Timberlake Performance at Super Bowl XXXVIII by Dr Shannon Holland

Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, the Jezebel and white masculinity by Khadija Mbowe (I actually got the recommendation for the first paper from this video essay).

From Mammy to Jezebel: The Portrayal of Black Women in American Cinema from the BlackThen website

[mcufan72]

Sugar and Cinnamon

Loki x female reader (AU) / 18+

Chapter 2

Chapter 1 / Preview here

Warnings: none so far, contains fluff, angst, morally grey stuff and smut (eventually), it's a slow-burn love story

Loki didn't show much of a reaction towards your name which was obviously a stage name. You would never use your real name and you wouldn't reveal it either.

“Fine! That's a really…cute name,” and he couldn't avoid a small grin. “I'll see you then for my business dinner next week. Good night, Sugar. It was a pleasure to meet you.”

“Good night, Mr. Larsson. See you soon.” you smiled brightly at him, bathing one more time in the stare of his amazing blue eyes. It wasn't easy to resist his obvious charm. He was the purest temptation and you couldn't understand why he would book an escort lady when he could have any other woman without paying for it. It shouldn't be that hard for him. Women loved to throw themselves on filthy rich and super sexy, good-looking guys. But it was none of your business and you wouldn't complain about him booking you. It saved your job and that was all you were interested in.

He drained his whisky and left. After you said your goodbyes you waited half an hour before you left the bar, too. You always did it this way just to make sure that your client definitely was gone before you left the nightclub yourself. It reduced the risk of your client following you and allowed Walker to keep an eye on the leaving client while he waited outside for you by the car. Also when Walker drove you home he always made a detour to ensure no one would follow the limousine. You never knew if a client had bad intentions or not and Walker would never allow something would happen to you or a client to find out where you live.

Back home you undressed and kicked your shoes off with a sigh of relief. Your feet were massively hurting from the fucking high heels and you would never understand why so many women wear this torturous footwear voluntarily and with pure joy. You were glad you had to wear them just for your dates and just for a few hours. You preferred wearing trainers. They were comfortable and fit any outfit. You headed to the bathroom of your small but cosy apartment and took a hot shower. After a date with a client, you always felt the urgent need to wash the evening off of your skin.

With still damp hair, dressed in a fresh sleep shirt and pyjama bottoms you lay down in bed but you couldn't fall asleep right away. Your thoughts always went back to him. To Luke Larsson. You stared at the ceiling, clawing your duvet and reviewed the meeting with him. You have met a lot of men in the last few months. They all had been nice and decent, most of them extremely good-looking, and they complimented you and enjoyed your company and some of them brought you flowers as a sign of appreciation for spending time with them.

But Luke Larsson was different. Dark, distant, cold. And so damn beautiful as if he were not from this world. You believed him when he said he wasn't interested in flirting with you. He made himself very clear and you definitely saw it the same way. And he would never bring you flowers. He didn't seem to be this type of guy. Nevertheless, you were afraid you could lose the professional distance to him. And curse on your weakness for tall men with broad shoulders in black suits. You growled angrily, put on your sleeping mask, turned to your side and fell asleep.

For the rest of the week, you were fully booked and it guaranteed your income. And it had to. Among other things, invoices were soon due. As arranged you had no bookings for the weekend and so you did the groceries, cleaned your apartment and you also did some work and research for your studies. You started studying again three months ago. You didn't understand anymore why you had given it up years ago but back then you thought you would do the right thing. It wasn't but you couldn't turn back the time. On Sunday you visited your mum like you did every Sunday and you loved nothing more than spending time with her together. You wished you could tell her about your problems and your job she definitely wouldn't approve. Not to mention the fear she would have for you. All of this would break her heart and you couldn't let that happen. And by the way, what should you tell her? ‘Hey Mum, your baby is an Escort now. Are you proud of me?’ You weren't even proud of yourself that you had ended up there so how should she? So you kept your mouth shut, pretending everything was fine.

The next days were business as usual. Studying in the morning, dates with lonely gentlemen and escorting them to events in the evening. Day in, day out until the day had come, you would accompany Luke Larsson to the business dinner he had booked you for.

You were nervous. Your hands were trembling and you had to renew your mascara twice because you weren't able to apply it properly. Why were you so nervous? It was an appointment with a client like any other. Why did he make you feel like this? He had no business to do so! How dare he? You made yourself smile with these thoughts. You fixed your hair in a tight hair bun with the knot deep in your neck and added a small black fabric rose at its side. You put on an elegant, flared and high-waisted black midi skirt which emphasized your waist perfectly, a golden sleeveless top with a cowl neck and small straps and your black high heels with the red soles. Finally, you applied some perfume to your neck and dark-red lipstick to your lips. And there she was, looking at you from the mirror: Sugar, ready to meet Mr. Larsson and his business partners.

************

“You can follow the rules?” he asked you and stopped abruptly before you two entered the restaurant.

“Of course, Mr Larsson. I'm sure I already know what you want to tell me. I keep quiet, keep smiling and I won't say anything. I'll just sit there, being your arm candy and enjoy the evening. Discretion is my job and you're paying me for it. Did I forget anything?” You smiled tantalizingly at him. Somehow you had fun teasing him. He rolled his eyes and the tiniest hint of a smile curved one corner of his mouth. He bit the inside of his cheek before he spoke again.

“ Perfect. Exactly what I expect from you.”

“Of course, Sir.” Loki raised his brows. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear this word from your mouth. Maybe in another context…

“But there's one more thing to clarify…I can't introduce you as Sugar. Do you have a surname for me? “

“You can introduce me as Miss Black,” you replied objectively. A stage name, of course, but as black as your soul and your future.

The dinner was beyond boring and you didn't even listen anymore to the things the people, sitting at the dining table, were talking about. It was something about international and intergalactic security agreements. Even if you would listen, you wouldn't be allowed to participate.

Luke sat next to you and looked very stylish in his dark grey suit, the black shirt and the black silk tie. The suit looked fabulously good, fit like a glove and you could see every well-trained muscle of his gorgeous body flexing whenever he moved. His flawless, beautiful face was framed by his obsidian curls, barely tamed by some hair wax. You had just one description for him: a god in a suit. If there were a god in this world then you were sure he must look like Luke Larsson. No doubt!

The girlfriends, fiancés and wives of the other guests were chatting about designer labels, purses and gowns and where to get them in Milano, Rome, Paris, London or Los Angeles and how they would make the credit cards of their spouses burn. You didn't want to participate in their conversation. How conversations like this pissed you off. You've already had your fill of all of this in your life. You had been long enough a spoiled girl like them, dolled up for the man who pretends to love you. And all of it was meaningless now. It had nothing to do with love. All of it had been just material. But of course, you kept smiling, that was what your client expected from you.

You poked around in your food and you pushed your broccoli from one side of the plate to the other. You weren't really hungry tonight but when on a dinner like this with four courses, you hardly could escape from these dishes. But you got paid for it and so you wouldn't complain. You just had picked up some scraps of conversation when you casually said:

“Sometimes it's just the simple things and needs nothing else than a comfortable atmosphere and an ingenious marketing strategy to get what you want.”

All of a sudden it got quiet around you at the table and all eyes were on you. Loki gave you the death stare and you swallowed thickly.

“I mean…I didn't mean…I'm sorry “, you stuttered and you grabbed your glass of water. Your throat felt dry like a desert and before you could talk more nonsense you took a sip of your beverage. You felt heat arising in your tummy and your cheeks blushed because of embarrassment. You replaced the glass on the table and stared down at your plate, Loki's eyes still fixed on you, the expression on his face a mixture of astonishment and annoyance. You felt awful and you knew there would be consequences. You just knew it.

“Maybe you're right, Miss Black”, said the host of this evening who had been introduced to you as Mr. Miller. “I really should think about it. “

You gave him a shy smile but you didn't say anything. You had lost any appetite. After the last course had been eaten, a dessert you didn't even touch, Loki grabbed your arm and tugged you slowly towards him.

“We need to talk! Now!” he growled quietly into your ear and you nodded. You followed him to the entrance hall of the restaurant without hesitation. You knew what would follow now.

“Would you please have the kindness to tell me what that was about?” he asked you, slightly annoyed but still respectful.

“I'm sorry Mr.Larsson. It won't happen again. I didn't do it on purpose.” you answered apologetically.

“I hope so. I don't pay you for participating in my conversations. You're just my escort. Did I make myself clear?” his tone was strict but still calm.

“Of course, Mr.Larsson. I got it.”

“Good. Otherwise I have to tell your boss that you can't follow the rules.”

“Please, don't Mr.Larsson. I need that job. It was just…I'm familiar with some kind of negotiation strategy. Forgive me for being unprofessional. I'm genuinely sorry.” You said and held his gaze.

How could he not forgive you especially because you were right about what you said? He didn't want to harm you or intend to get you in trouble with your agency. He immediately felt bad when he saw your guilt-ridden face. He already knew he wanted to meet you again and escort him to his next event, whatever event it might be. You were clever, eloquent, and naturally elegant. Additionally your bright eyes, your lush lips, your soft, shiny skin, and your beautiful legs he wished you would wrap around his waist, got him all hot and bothered. A deadly mixture of intelligence and sexyness and definitely a turn-on for him. And regardless of whether he wanted it or not, he sort of enjoyed your company.

“It's alright, Sugar. But please don't do it again.”

“I won't, Sir." Nope, he didn't want to hear that word from your mouth, not in this context.

“Shall we go back to the event?“ he asked you.

“Yes, that's why we're here”, you smiled at him, still embarrassed that you made this stupid mistake. You believed him that he wouldn't tell Rhea anything about what had happened but you were pretty sure he wouldn't book you for a further event. What was a pity actually because you liked his charm and his respectful and forgiving behaviour.

As announced, after dinner everyone was invited to join the dance floor in the ballroom next to the restaurant. Drinks were served and a DJ greeted the guests with music from jazz to classic rock and pop songs and also love songs. Loki and you stood at the edge of the dance floor, already filled with dancing people, and watched them move to the music. The next song was a more romantic song and many of the dancers left the dance floor again. To the song that was played now, you could dance a waltz and when you heard the first bars of the song you began to swing to the music.

“Tell me, do you dance, Sugar? A waltz I mean.” and he looked at you. Flashbacks of Asgardian ballrooms came back to his mind when he was a mischievous, innocent young Prince, playing harmless, funny tricks on others, falling in love for the first time and many more times after that. The love had passed but his love for dancing remained and he hadn't danced for a very long time.

“I do”, you answered softly. His question surprised you. You didn't expect him to like dancing. He seemed to be too cold and emotionless for that but maybe you were completely wrong. You loved to dance, for you dancing was emotion, lightness and passion but you hadn't danced for a very long time.

“May I have this dance then?” He asked you politely and offered you his hand.

“Yes, of course, “ you said to him with a warm, bright smile.

He led you to the dance floor, put his right hand on the middle of your back and took your right hand in his left while you placed your left hand on his shoulder. Immediately you two formed a unit like you were made for each other and never before has someone danced with you in such perfect harmony. Your bodies close to each other, he floated with you across the dance floor. His posture was utter perfection, his muscles strong and solid and tightly pressed to your body. It felt good to be so close to him, too good but in his strong arms, tenderly holding you, you felt kind of safe. His breath fanned over your face and your cleavage and he smelled so good. You loved his scent, fresh and warm and spicy, something you still couldn't define. His embrace, even if it had nothing to do with sympathy or anything related to it, comforted you. A feeling you truly had missed. But you had to be careful, you really should keep a professional distance.

You felt so perfect in his arms. Soft, warm, fragile. The way your body melded into his and the touch of your hand on his shoulder, your other hand in his, evoked a feeling in him he thought was long gone. He wanted to protect you, and take care of you. Worse, he wanted to make you his. But that was a no-go. He had to keep this professional but it was so difficult not to be enchanted by your grace and your beguiling scent, that perfect mixture of your perfume and your natural scent. Why did you have to feel so damn good in his arms?

Too soon the song was over. You both wished it would just be the two of you, alone, dancing the night away. But it wasn't and both of you kept this wish buried deep inside of yourselves.

“Would you please excuse me, Mr Larsson? I need to go to the ladies' room, freshening up myself and my makeup“, you told him kindly, loosening yourself from his grip. He didn't want to let go of you but he had to.

“Of course, Sugar, take your time”, he replied and you left the ballroom.

You needed a short break. Your head was spinning and it wasn't just because of the dance. He had made you sweat. With the dance, the way he held you in his arms and his pure masculinity. You stood at a sink and opened the faucet to let some cold water run over your wrists. You had to stay focused on your job and the professional distance to him. You dried your hands with a paper towel, tossed it into the bin and decided to go outside for some fresh air on the location’s veranda before you would go back to Luke. You put your hands on the border of the terrace, kicked off your high heels and took some deep breaths to calm down your nerves and to get rid of the inner heat.

Loki wasn't sure if it had been a good idea to dance with you. He enjoyed it, indeed. Maybe way too much and he had a feeling that it could get very difficult to see only the escort lady in you and not the woman behind that facade. He knew there was more about you. Secrets, fears, rage, vulnerability. Your eyes gave it away. There was an indelible fire in them. But who was he to judge you? He had his own issues and was still working on it. Nonetheless, the urge to learn more about you grew.

He was still waiting for you but you obviously hadn't returned to the ballroom. It has been a while since you left and so he decided to look for you. You weren't inside the building but finally, he found you on the terrace. Alone and barefoot, your back facing him, your high heels laying right next to you. He grinned, amused and walked slowly toward you. Your sight touched his heart. You seemed a little lost.

“Here you are. I already missed you.”

“Now you've found me”, you answered smilingly, turning your head around to look at him. “I needed some fresh air “, you explained apologetically.

“It's alright, Sugar, I was just missing you. There's no reason for justification.”

He stood next to you now, looked down at your bare feet and the high heels on the floor and smiled at you.

“Do your feet hurt?”, he asked softly.

“Not in the slightest “, you answered ironically and laughed lightly at him. It made him laugh too. He loved your attitude and the sassy undertone in your voice.

“Sorry for being unprofessional again but yes…the little beasts are damn hurting me. They look good at our feet but they're pure torment”, you laughed lightly and wanted to put them on again.

“For me, you don't have to put them on right now. Give your feet some more rest. I adore your ability to walk and dance in them properly”, Loki answered.

“Aren't you freezing, with your bare arms?”, he wanted to know.

“No, I'm fine, thank you”, you replied kindly. It was just the half of the truth. You were freezing but somehow you enjoyed the cool evening breeze. It was refreshing and cooled your inner heat down and cleared your mind. Before you got aware of it, Loki was draping his jacket around your shoulders. It felt like a warm embrace and you truly appreciated his gesture. It has been a long time since a man paid this kind of attention to you.

“Thank you, Mr.Larsson. That's very kind of you”, you said gratefully.

“No issue. And call me Luke, please“, he replied softly. He observed you for a few seconds before he asked you carefully a question he didn't expect you to answer entirely.

“Why are you an escort lady? What made you choose this job?”

“Why do you care? Does it bother you?”

“It doesn't bother me. I'm just wondering. Please don't get me wrong, Sugar but you seem to not belong there, in an escort agency I mean.” Loki refused to imagine you with other men, wanting to touch you, lusting after you and perhaps sharing a bed with you, legs tangled under rumpled sheets. If something was bothering him, then that.

“The answer is a simple one, I guess. I got fired from my old job, I needed a new one quickly because I've invoices to pay and no chance to be picky so this is how I ended up here. That's life and shit happens. End of the story.” you answered quickly and without any ado. No one was to blame for the wrong decisions and faults you had made in your life and there was no need for pity or good advice. The tone in your voice made it clear that you won't tell any more details so Loki didn't ask you further questions about it. Also, you changed the topic immediately.

“I should have eaten dessert…now I'm craving it. Can we go inside and look for some dessert? Please!” you asked sweetly.

“Dessert! Seriously?“ Loki retorted wonderingly.

“Yes, dessert! Did you eat your dessert earlier?” you wanted to know.

“No! I hate desserts! “

“You don't. Who hates dessert? Everyone loves it!” and you smiled unbelievingly at him.

“I hate it,” he repeated.

“Liar! Come, let's go and look for desserts.” You put your high heels on and with his jacket still wrapped around your shoulders, you grabbed his hand and tugged him with you towards the restaurant. Loki shook his head in disbelief, grinning and he couldn't resist your incredible charm and adorable excitement for some dessert and let you drag him with you.

*************

After Walker had driven you home, you emptied your letterbox and took the stairs to your apartment on the second floor. You closed the entrance door, kicked your shoes off, gave the letters a closer look and opened them. You hadn't expected that, it hit you out of nowhere. How quickly tables could turn. And all of a sudden you were in a situation you never wanted to be in. You needed more money and you knew exactly what that meant. Bookings for the weekends and…

The sheer thought of it made you tremble. But that would be the very last option to get more money quickly, the very last thing you would do and you put that thought aside for now. And anyway, there was only one man imaginable for you, you would ask for it. But unfortunately, he had told you right from the beginning, there would never be more than escorting him to functions. Tonight you couldn't sleep because you didn't know what to do now and despair and fear came over you. First thing in the morning you called Rhea.

“Good morning, dear. How was your evening with Mr Larsson yesterday?” she wanted to know.

“Good morning, Rhea. It was a wonderful evening. Mr.Larsson is a real gentleman and it was wonderful to spend time with him. I had an enjoyable evening and I really like him. But this is not the reason for my call. Rhea, I've decided to accept your great offer and I'd like to get bookings for the weekends too.” This phone call wasn't easy for you.

“Great, dearest, but how come? The weekends are holy to you. Not that I would complain. It's solely your decision. I'm just curious,” Rhea said wondering.

“My landlord has increased my monthly rent,” you told her with unease.

“Mm-hmh, that sucks but sometimes I think you live in a Palace instead of a two-room apartment, dear. Is the rent increase really that high?” Rhea joked but her question was still one of concern.

“I wish I would, Rhea. But yes, I need more money now. It's not only the rent for my apartment …my mother's nursing home has increased the monthly accomodations- and maintenance costs, too. So I have no choice…I'm available for weekend dates now, too. I just wanted to let you know.” You swallowed down upcoming tears and the lump in your throat.

“I'm so sorry, dear. That's really annoying. I add you to the weekend appointments then... Oh and by the way… Mr. Larsson has booked you already for his next event. It seems he was very satisfied with your company, and I have got the impression he's very impressed by you. I'm delighted to have him as a new regular client for you." Rhea said.

“He did?” You couldn't believe it because you thought he would never book an escort again who definitely hadn't followed the rules and made stupid mistakes.

“Yessss…and it also seems he's just interested in you.” You could literally see Rhea grinning from ear to ear at the other end of the phone.

“Yeah, sure!”, you answered ironically.

“Maybeeee…he's your prince on the white horse…” Rhea couldn't suppress a chuckle.

She would love that for you like she would love it for any other of her escort ladies. But somehow you had a special place in her heart. Your whole attitude and your lovely behaviour whenever she talked to you, eye to eye or on the phone, made her think you didn't belong there. For her, you seemed to be too adorable and too decent for that job.

But you didn't need a prince on a white horse though. They didn't even exist. And if they existed you would go for a dark prince on a warhorse who would ride together with you through hell and back. But these were just dreams.

You needed money, lots of money. And in your job, there was only one way to earn more…and for you, Luke would be the only one you would dare to ask, the only one imaginable.

🌹🥂🌃🌹🥂🌃🌹🥂🌃🌹🥂🌃🌹🥂🌃

The song that inspired the dancing scene:

Tag list:

@lokisprettygirl @faesimps @anukulee @fictive-sl0th @fandxmslxt69 @chantsdemarins @justjoanne242 @gruftiela @stupidthoughtsinwriting @wheredafandomat @lovingchoices14 @lokixryss @huntress-artemiss @smolvenger @km-ffluv