#typed almost everything and then the page closed :))) so i had to restart :)))))

[fan-burns]

Robots 2

-Chapter 9: Rodney’s POV-

I closed the shop early to take that Citizenship Test. Jack left a few hours ago to go take it, so I figured I’d do the same. Better to get this done early and out of the way then to forget it completely.

As I sat at my desk, I refreshed the page again for the hundredth time. The website itself isn’t too fancy, just a standard “Welcome to Ratchet City” website you’d see on any tourist site. There was even a header image of Ratchet himself standing in front of Ratchet industries. There were multiple tabs that took you to a different page. Ratchet’s story, the history of the city, you name it, you’ll find it. Well...unless you were looking for a new Citizenship Test.

I sighed and leaned back in my chair. It should be on there by now, where is it? “Ratchet is never late,” I sighed to myself. “Must be someone else’s fault.”

Of course, when is it ever Ratchet’s fault? Exactly. It never is!

Leave it to some nobody amature to screw up Ratchet’s magnificent plans for us. How dare someone ruin Ratchet’s perfect plans?! I quickly turned the computer back on, eager to get this test done. Sure enough, there was a new tab entirely dedicated to us. I couldn’t help but say it aloud.

“Citizen’s Guide to Servitude.”

That has to be the test! Opening the tab, the website restarted itself. It wasn’t long before I was greeted by a familiar AI’s face. “Hello! I am SHODAN, your AI guide to the Official Ratchet City website! Please insert your Citizen ID and information to continue. If there have been any changes made to your ID or Home District, please contact the help staff via the homepage hotline.”

A minor inconvenience, but easy enough. With no other delays, I typed in my ID.

Repair3405-RC.

“Please insert your name and purpose.”

Rodney Copperplate, Repair bot.

“Please insert your Home District.”

General goods District…unfortunately. I’d kill for a better District location to live in.

“Processing…Welcome to your new freedom, Rodney Copperplate! Please open the newly installed Task Bar to view your Citizenship test!”

An arrow brought my attention to a small tab on the side of the screen. I clicked on it, and a side bar appeared with a link to the test. Clicking on it took me to a new tab, bringing me to the test. It looked just like a standardized test, except it was black with green lettering. It almost looked like the inside of a microchip.

Eventually, SHODAN appeared again. “Welcome to the newly instilled monthly Citizenship Test! You will be tasked to answer the questions as accurately as possible. Please note that there is no time limit, questions are multiple choice, and the amount of questions is permanently fixed at 100. The test itself should take an estimated 1 and a half hours to complete. Please take your time, answer honestly, and keep Ratchet on your motherboard.” And with that, it disappeared, leaving me with the first question on the quiz.

I had no objection to the terms of the test, as it wouldn’t be what Ratchet wants. If it takes all day, then it takes all day. It’s what Ratchet wants, so it’s what I want as well.

Looking at the first question, I could tell that I would be done sooner than I thought.

“Number 1: How satisfied are you with your purpose?”

The options below made the decision even easier.

“Fulfilled, Very satisfied, Decently satisfied, or Satisfied.”

I clicked on the “Fulfilled” option, and was taken to the next question.

“Number 2: If you were to change your purpose, which of the following would you choose?”

This time, I was given a list of just about every purpose that was available for us. Construction, Medical, Emergency response, Congregation, Guard, Ratchet Industries…everything. Thankfully, I didn’t have to scroll through the entire list. There was a search bar at the top, another fine example of Ratchet convenience!

I quickly typed in “Ratchet Industries”. While I loved my original purpose, I’d love it even more if I got to work with Ratchet himself! I swear I daydream about the opportunity almost every day! A Repair bot being promoted to working with Ratchet himself! Oh, only one could dream! I can’t even imagine the money I’d make! I quickly pulled myself back to earth. I still had a test to take, we can daydream in my sleep. I was taken to the third question.

…

“Number 45: You have just witnessed a modded bot in action. He has the ability to fly, and can shoot lasers from his eyes. He states that Lord Ratchet has no love or mercy for anyone, and wants to prove it to you. To do this, he kidnaps and imprisons you underground. He then tells you that, if Ratchet truly did love you, it will take him at least 1 day for him to find the bot’s hideout. Once he does, he will order for both you and the bot to be tried and executed. This is because, the bot argues, Ratchet does not care about innocents. All he will see in the room is two modded bots, one of which happens to be strapped to a chair. What is the major flaw in his logic?”

“1: He fails to realize that Lord Ratchet has eyes, as well as context on the situation. 2: He gave Lord Ratchet an unreasonable response time to find you. 3: He fails to mention the gun in your back pocket. 4: Lord Ratchet's court has never failed the innocent, and never will.”

I clicked on number 4. While I wasn’t too familiar with the court system, I knew enough to know that the system it has is flawless. Just like Lord Ratchet himself! The page buffered yet again, and the next question appeared.

“Number 46: One cold winter morning, you encounter a lonely boy in an alley on your way to work. He looks no older than 7 years old, and is covered in rust and snow. He is freezing cold, has a bowl for change, and is holding up a sign that reads, “Will work 4 fuel”. You decide to take pity on him, and donate some spare change. As you approach him, however, you begin to suspect that he may be a modded bot. From the shadows, you can make out a strange, glowing device on his back. You conclude that the bot has some sort of heat related modification, but cannot attack due to the cold. In this situation, what is the best course of action?”

“1: Take the risk and give the boy the change. 2: Don’t give the boy the change, and report him to The Guard. 3: Demand that the boy reveal his modifications, or you will take him to The Guard. 4: Run away from the child. 5: Don’t feel pity for him at all, and continue on your way.”

Number 5. It’s better to ignore bots like him than to look at them. Anything can trigger their mods, so it’s important that you don’t do anything that could set them off. Never look at or engage with a modded freak. They’re repulsive, dangerous, and not worth a penny! They shouldn’t be here unless they’ve rejected their mods…it’s why I’m still around. I reject mine, so I’m better than them…I’m more valuable than them! I’m nothing like those worthless outmoded freaks!

…

“Number 99: Who is the number one enemy of the city, and is responsible for all of the pain and suffering inflicted upon us all?

“Bigweld, Bigweld, Bigweld, or Bigweld.”

I clicked on one of the “Bigweld” options, and I felt a twinge of rage as I did so. Then again, when didn’t I feel that way when he’s brought up? Every sensible bot in the city has a seething hatred for him. If he were to have the gull to roll his aft into my shop, he’d be dead on the spot! I was almost swept away by said hatred, until the final question appeared. It was yet another easy one.

“Number 100: Who is responsible for freeing you from your chains, has loved you dearly, and has gifted you with freedom?”

“Lord Ratchet, Lord Ratchet, Lord Ratchet, or Lord Ratchet.”

Lord Ratchet. I mean, who else would it be? Bigweld? Get real. With that one final click, a message popped up on the screen.

“Congratulations Rodney Copperbottom! You’ve completed your monthly Citizenship Test and have been made eligible for a free fuel bonus of 2 cans! Please email or call The Ratchet Industries Help Desk for more information and how to claim the bonus! Again, congratulations!”

Two extra cans?! For using an hour of my time?!…That’s amazing! What a fair and balanced payment that will greatly help me! I was about to click out of the tab when something caught my eye.

My name…it was my old name from when Bigweld was in charge.

I don’t know what crude joke he had in mind for me, but I’ve kept it secret for obvious reasons. For it to show up here is almost…cruel. How did this mistake slip by the staff?! First the delay, now this?! Is it amateur hour or something?! I rubbed my eyes and got closer to the screen. As I did so, I was met with even more confusion.

“Congratulations Rodney Copperplate! You’ve completed your monthly Citizenship Test and have been made eligible for a free fuel bonus of 2 cans! Please email or call The Ratchet Industries Help Desk for more information and how to claim the bonus! Again, congratulations!”

Regardless of how I felt, I was now relieved. It must’ve been a trick of the light, or a lack of sleep...Yeah, that last one sounds more likely.

I clicked out of the test, and shut off my computer. I’ll collect my bonus in the morning…I think I’ll just lay down for a bit. Maybe get some more sleep.

[17hateblog]

Ok. I am not new to Seventeen, I have a vague memory of their debut. Great kids, talented people. But, I know nothing about them. Could you describe them for me? Like, sell me this group so I can finally fully stan.

This must be a really late reply, sorry! Where do I even begin...

So first we have their music! Even though they’ve been a group for 5 years, they still manage to keep their signature sound which is fun and fresh (that’s why they’re known as freshteen). They manage to branch out into other concepts but they’ll always make music that goes back to their roots. Also, they have a lot of great lyrics (Can’t See the End and Still Lonely being some of my faves) that can resonate with a lot of people!

If you want to know more about the members, that would take a long time and I think showing you would be better than trying to explain so I would recommend watching Going Seventeen or One Fine Day! That said I’ll go through each member!

Coups: Say what you want about horoscopes, but he is such a Leo!

Jeonghan: Really clever! Could probably successfully change his entire identity and get away with it.

Joshua: You can take the boy out of California but you can’t take the California out of the boy.

Jun: Pledis saw him and was like “oh, pretty boy, let’s hate on him.” He’s so funny and talented and popular but pledis pretends that they didn’t see anything!

Hoshi: The most extroverted introvert ever. People call him a furry. 🐯

Wonwoo: He’s the guy from the coffee shop au.

Woozi: Always working on new music. Pledis would probably sit outside his house crying, if he were to ever leave the company.

Dk: He’s always 😀😃😄😁😆 but he’s also quite emotional so sometimes he’s 😁😭. Wouldn’t be surprised if he owned a live, love, laugh poster.

Mingyu: One time seungkwan talked about how since Mingyu is the visual, he has more restrictions so he can’t fully be himself. And so now I think about this all the time. Like...hot people should be allowed to be funny too 😔 His pretty privilege wasn’t a privilege this time around.

The8: Does it for the girls and the gays. He breathes and the audience applauds. Very artsy, but not in a stuck up sort of way.

Seungkwan: Not only a vocal legend but the one that helps put food on the table. He’s so funny that he’s constantly appearing on variety shows and spreading the svt agenda

Hansol: physically he is living in 2020, but mentally he is in 3030

Dino: waiting for his solo album. He has it all but pledis just sleeps 😴😴😴

[elvensorceress]

sunrise

(the 5x03 episode coda we all deserve) 

Inspired by @eric-dierr ‘s post

on AO3

There’s finality to the sound of the door shutting behind her, but the weight of more years than he’s ever known her disappears as soon as she does. 

He can breathe again. He can relax. He doesn’t have to play a part. He doesn’t have to fake picture perfect, too-exaggerated-to-be-real happiness. He can finally take his home back. 

The irony of his disaster kitchen is not lost on him. But he starts with a message, because it needs to be said, and he hates the idea of hurting anyone. Least of all hurting someone the way Buck was hurt. 

Done. It’s over.

Is what he sends. And then goes to strip the beds and cycle the laundry and wash his whole fucking house of anything touched by her. It’s only a few minutes before he receives a response. 

it go ok? r u ok? 

He could be better. He could have a clean house and a clean mind and he could simply enjoy curling up with his son and finally spending time with him. Fixing everything has to come first. 

It was fine. Probably. Who knows. You make it home?

Once the sheets are washing, he turns to the kitchen and who does this to someone else’s kitchen and just leaves it? He digs out gallon sized ziplock bags and fills them with the assortment of muffins and other baked goods. He’ll have to make a note to himself to take them to the station on his next shift. At least he won’t have to pretend to like bland, flavorless cooking anymore. 

He checks his phone and it’s been a good ten minutes without a response, so maybe Buck decided to nap or cook or… Oh, god maybe his girlfriend is there. 

At least there’s not much of anything in Eddie’s stomach right now because it twists and he’s nauseous and of all the people Buck had to pick her and it’s just… none of his business but Buck could do so much better. He deserves so much better. Though the idea of Buck with anyone is not something he wants to think about. Not that he wants Buck to be alone forever. He’s been so lonely and Eddie knows he desperately wants to be loved. But no one is ever going to be good enough for him, no one can know him well enough or love him the way he needs, he should be adored and cherished and treated like the most precious thing in existence because he is.

And that’s the most Eddie wants to think about on the subject. 

He starts by unloading the dishwasher and then has to restart by organizing his cupboards back the way the dishes and cups and silverware are supposed to be organized. Halfway through the third cupboard, his phone chimes. 

idk. technically. what r u up to?

He reads it and rereads their whole conversation, and sighs heavily. Buck could take his own advice. But then they’d both be alone again. One of them should at least have something? He starts typing and hesitates and knows his typing must have appeared and notified Buck that he’s working on a response. But. Should he? 

Fuck it. Why not. 

Cleaning up my disaster. Want to come over? 

The response is immediate. 

Yes

It’s another moment where he can finally breathe again. In that case, he unloads the clean dishes into a mostly empty cupboard and tries to tackle the dirty dishes in the sink before Buck shows up and sees the mess made of his kitchen. 

disaster?

Is the next message that pops up on his phone and Eddie contemplates sending a picture, but some things are better left a surprise. 

You’ll see.

It takes him less than fifteen minutes to walk through the door and the kitchen is only partly under control. He hears Christopher excitedly exclaim, “Buck! Buck is home! You’re here!” 

And Buck’s near giddy reply of, “Christopher! You’re also home!” He laughs and Eddie has to see them. 

He grabs a kitchen towel to dry his hands and finds Christopher clutched tightly in Buck’s arms, melting onto his shoulder much like he did at the station a few days ago. They both have their eyes closed tightly, swaying as if there’s joyful music only they can hear. Eddie wonders what it might take for him to hear it as well. 

He swallows hard and can’t look at anything else. 

Christopher lifts up and presses both of his small hands into Buck’s cheeks. “I missed you, kid.” 

Buck laughs again but his eyes look glassy even though there’s something about him that is radiant sunshine after years of being lost in a cold night. “I missed you, too, buddy.” He sets Christopher down but bends to leave a kiss on his forehead. When he looks at Eddie with that glowing sunrise of a smile, Eddie can almost believe in hope and happiness and the future. 

It makes him want to believe real love is still possible. That there is something, someone, in existence who might make his heart want and need and bleed love in every incarnation. 

Buck lets Christopher go back to playing and follows Eddie into the kitchen. Where his expression immediately turns into something horrified. “What in the,” he glances in the direction of the other room, shuts the door and mouths quietly, “Fuck happened here?”

“I told you. Disaster.” Eddie tosses his kitchen towel onto his shoulder and returns to the kitchen sink with soaking cupcake pans. 

“But,” Buck says, supremely distressed. “My kitchen.”

“I’ve been working on it,” Eddie promises. He needs to scrub down and wash away everything. 

 “She wasn’t even here that long. What the hell did she do? Who does this and just leaves someone else’s house like this?”

Eddie shrugs but gives him a smile. He can finally smile. A real smile in his own home. It’s almost strange now, but it’s possible. Then again, it’s always real when Buck is around. “That’s exactly what I thought.”

Buck shakes his head and goes to the cupboards to finish organizing them properly. He knows better where everything is supposed to belong anyway. 

With Buck’s help, it doesn’t take long to reorganize and wipe down the entire kitchen. They put new sheets and blankets on the beds and Eddie does a quick cleaning of the bathrooms while Buck vacuums and tidies the living room. They bring the dried laundry to Christopher’s room to fold and put it away and start a load of all Eddie’s work clothes, and only then does Buck turn to him and put his hands on Eddie’s shoulders. 

Eddie tries not to go weak at the touch. It feels like an eternity since they’ve hugged, since they’ve been home, since they’ve been close. 

“Thank you,” Buck says softly.

Eddie looks at him, unsure, uncertain, and longing for something they can never have. “For what?”

Buck bites his lip and tears well in his eyes. “For not being Abby. For being you.”

Eddie takes a deep breath and very lightly rests a hand on Buck’s chest. Over his heart. “Thanks for being you.” 

Buck bends his head and Eddie holds onto him, pulls him closer so Buck’s forehead rests against his own. 

It’s so easy to believe now. He can almost feel it with how they’ve grown together, built this together. There’s something so close it feels inevitable, but he knows it’s something they chose for themselves. 

When they let go, they join Christopher on the sofa and cuddle together closer than they ever have. So close Christopher wriggles out from their tight grasp because they are interrupting game time, okay? Buck looks at him for a moment but curls against Eddie’s side anyway and drifts off as they’re stretched on the couch together. 

His house his clean. His life has a new page, a fresh start, it can be anything. But he knows, no matter what, they’ll have each other and their son. It’s all his heart has ever wanted, and this time, it feels as if they will have it. 

@oneweirdcryptid @ashavahishta @captain-flint @phantomqueenmorrigan @loveyourownsmiilee @oldsouldreamer85 @arrenemris @fleurdebeton @rosefairyirl @holydrogo-n @free-byrd @insaneoldme @oatflatwhite @favouritealias @idealuk @racoonsa @ethicalconflictdiaz

(If anyone would like to be added to my tag list, let me know or go like this post 💕)

[dcforts]

[week 4: selfie together]

1.7k, post-canon, non canon compliant.

Three days to impact (moving out with Cas and a bunch of hunter nerds settling into the bunker to set up the Network), and Dean was still elbow deep in messy drawers, sorting through his stuff in one of the research rooms. He couldn’t believe he had managed to hoard that much crap when he spent there not more than six months every year.

Sam had already taken care of most of it and thrown away a lot of junk when he had moved away with Eileen a year or so ago, so Dean had thought that he would be packed in less than a day with what was left. He was wrong.

He was tackling a bunch of phones and chargers all tangled up together, trying to figure out which ones were still working. Between him and Sam they had probably gone through a hundred or so phones, without counting the burners, their dad’s and those of other hunters, passed on after their deaths.

You had to keep them on, check the messages, write down the contacts – for a long time it was the only way to keep the network going and to make sure that no call for help would ever go unanswered.

Hopefully the Network, with Charlie fancy digital system and stolen tech from the Brits, would make things a lot easier. The bunker would become the hunter HQ that it was always meant to be. And Sam and Dean would still go there from time to time, but it would become more like a workplace than an actual home.

Magazines apparently said you had to keep them separated and all that. So, they were trying.

He wasn’t even halfway done when he found his old phone. It was not too ancient or anything and he used to like it just fine, but for Christmas Claire and the girls had gotten him a new one (“not for work!!” said the note attached to it) so he had just dumped it in here.

It had no SIM card, but there were some police contacts (useful) and the Candy Crush app (not useful). He went on to check the gallery and was surprised to find still some pictures in it.

He snorted, seeing one of the last taken – Sam, drunk on Christmas Day, a paper crown askew on his head, trying to focus enough to play Jenga with someone who was out of the shot. Dean didn’t remember who it was anymore. Sam had the most incredible face on.

Oh, there were pictures from when they went to visit Garth! He had taken them at Frontier Stables in Frederic and Dean and Gertie had possibly been equally excited about riding a horse. There were a bunch of pictures of that day, including one Garth had taken of him where he looked like an absolute dork.

Wow, they must have been at least a year or so older, he had totally forgotten about them. Now, he couldn’t just put the phone down and resume his work. He debated with himself (very briefly) if he could afford a break or not and then flopped down on the floor covered in cardboard boxes to look through the rest of the gallery.

Most of the pictures were cases related, articles and crime scenes, then a bunch of landscapes, an amazing looking burger from that joint in Texas.

There was one with Cas that he had taken one night. Dean’s face was on the foreground, on the left, and he was making a funny face, his index finger to his lips. The red couch was visible behind his shoulders and Cas was by his side, his face turned towards the television screen and lighted by it.

They had been cooped up in Dean’s cave for nearly four hours and all that time Sam was freaking out because he didn’t know where they were and he couldn’t find them. When Dean had checked his phone, he had found fourteen missed calls and a bunch of texts. He had sent him that picture back and written shh it's movie night.

Sam had come bursting through the door two seconds later and bitched at him for fifteen minutes for having his phone on silent and then stayed and watched Back to the Future III with them.

This was before he and Cas even got together – well, officially at least.

It felt like so long ago, back when they were all: fingers brushing, intense gazing, losing track of time when alone together. They were so clueless.

It had sorted itself out though. A couple of weeks after that, Dean had fallen asleep on Cas’ shoulder and Cas had spent the rest of the night holding him and he had done that every night since.

Dean smiled and scrolled down, back in time.

More photos on the road, book pages, his car against a pretty sunset. Then a group selfie that they sent to Jody for her birthday. Sam and Eileen were still living at the bunker then and Sam was holding the phone, on account of having three feet long arms. They were standing in the kitchen, Eileen right next to him, under his other arm and Dean next to Eileen.

Cas had appeared on the door as they were getting in position so Sam he had told him to hurry up, get in the frame and he had come to stand next to Dean, stiff like a statue. Sam had said, a little closer, so Dean had slung an arm around his neck and pulled him towards him.

Right when Sam had been about to snap it, Cas had grabbed Dean’s hand, that was dangling over his shoulder. So of course, in the picture Dean looked like a total idiot, with his eyes wide and his lips slightly parted in surprise. He had even stopped breathing a little and Cas next to him had the audacity to look totally oblivious. Dean zoomed in on his face and cackled at himself. God, and what was up with that haircut he had, did he even look at himself in the mirror.

He went on.

A few rows below there was another selfie. It was just him this time and it was terrible, the sunlight making the picture look all wrong, like there was a filter on it. It was a vertical shot that showed just about his face and shoulders.

It had been early in the morning, he was bleary-eyed and there was a little wrinkle in between his eyebrows because he had been in the car waiting for Sam to come back with their coffee for twenty minutes.

Cas had texted him out of the blue, Can you send me a picture of you? and Dean had snapped it and sent it without thinking and then he had written, what do you need it for and Cas had written back, I just miss you. Dean had almost dropped his phone, then put it away and not looked at it until late that night. Yeah, it hadn’t been one of his best moments.

Finally he had managed to pull out the conversation again. He had typed and deleted miss you too and same and same, man about a thousand times and then ended up writing your turn now.

He remembered that Cas had been quick to reply with an even worse shot than the one he had sent. Some blurry picture he had taken under a streetlight, his face wearing an intense expression, as if he needed to focus to tap once on a screen. Still, Dean had looked at it for an hour before he had gone to sleep. What a sap.

Thinking of that photo reminded him of another one. He wondered if? It took a while to find it, but it was there, almost at the end of the gallery, right after a picture of Jody in a ridiculous sun hat from when they all went to the beach for the weekend.

It was there. Their first selfie together. He snorted out loud.

He had been pacing in the map room, cursing at his phone that was stuck with the camera open. He was trying everything and it just wouldn’t close.

Cas had come look over his shoulder while Dean had been furiously tapping, and that was when the screen had frozen and flashed and the result of that was a picture of the two of them from the most unflattering angle, frowning down at the phone. Two half faces, Dean on the right, Cas on the left. Dean thought it was hilarious.

Cas had said, “I think you took a picture,” because he was a great help as usual and Dean had said, “Yeah, no shit Cas,” and eventually had to restart the phone to make it work again.

He couldn’t believe that had happened more than two years ago.

“I’m done with the inventory of the herbs. Are you done in here?” said Cas, poking his head in from the hallway. Dean very obviously wasn’t done, but he was still smiling, so Cas said, “What is it?” and came to crouch beside him to peer at his phone and the infamous selfie, “Why did we take this?”

Dean laughed, “We didn’t. My phone was acting up.”

"And you kept it?"

"Yeah, of course I kept it," Dean said, tilting his phone away, as if Cas would jump him to delete it.

Cas had other priorities. He kissed his temple.

"Okay," he said amused, then, "Do you need help? Charlie is coming over in an hour to set up the - cables."

There were no cables. Cas clearly didn’t know what he was talking about, but Dean had no idea of what Charlie was supposed to do either, so.

"No, just - wait, let's take a picture," he said, grabbing his sleeve before he could get up. Cas settled once again next to him and Dean opened the camera and held his phone up, then got his other arm around Cas’ shoulders.

The light was not great, like anywhere else in the bunker and they looked exhausted after a day's work but still, not a bad sight, if Dean could say so himself.

He focused on Cas on the screen, the little smile on his lips.

He grinned. He was gonna spend the rest of his life with that face, he thought. Jesus.

"Dean?" Cas called, after another moment of nothing.

"Alright, alright," he said and snapped the picture.

@bend-me-shape-me said #deancassummerprompts21 and I said YES

[svtshine]

Unconditionally

pairing: Wonwoo x reader

genre: Angst to fluff, High school!au

type: imagine

extras: Wonwoo edit made by @delicatecy do check their page out! Open to requests ^^

_____________________________________________

Agape

|a•ga•pe•| /n./

1. the highest form of love. Selfless, sacrificial and unconditional love; persists no matter the circumstances

_____________________________________________

Day 1

Wonwoo dragged himself to school and stuffed his hands inside his hoodie pockets, his nose burried under his scarf. He longed to return to his warm bed amidst this cold winter morning. School was restarting and this year he would be attending as a second year student.

He sighed out, watching the cold air turn into white mist around him. There was another thing he dreaded. Maybe not a thing, but a human.

Y/n L/n

You began following him around like a lost puppy sometimes during last march. He never understood why you were so persistent but it annoyed him to no end.

Wonwoo began to hate everything about you. Your irritating smile that greeted him every morning without fail. Your stupid little notes you would slide into his locker telling him to have a nice day. Your voice as you chattered about god knows what. He had never paid any attention to you.

He wanted to be alone. Eat alone, study alone, walk home alone. He just wanted you gone. You were like a pest, a leech that he just couldn’t seem to remove

Wonwoo has shot you down for what seems to be like the hundredth time. Whenever you greet him with a smile, he glared back at you and shoved his locker close making you jump at the loud sound. He would try to purposefully trip you or tease you hurt fully to make you stay away. He even talk bad about you infront of girls hoping you would leave

But you never did. You always greeted him with a smile and talked about homework and stuff. You also prepared or bought lunch for him. Even if he was paired with another girl, you would follow him around

Wonwoo so badly wanted to get rid of you

He closed his locker after getting out his things and was met with the sight of you looking up at him and giving him a big smile. “Hi won, how’s your morning? Have you eaten?”

Wonwoo grunted, picked up his bag and went into the classroom. Thanking the girls that flocked around him would prevent you from coming closer to him.

Forgetting the fact that the teacher assigned you to sit infront of him. He knew you persuaded the teacher to change seats with another classmate. God you were so annoying.

You sat down at your seat and opened up your bag to find the lunchbox you got up early to prepare wonwoo. You weren’t exactly a chef but you wanted to try cooking one whole meal for him. Here wonnie. I prepared all your favourites again” you said hoping he might glance at you once and at least give you an acknowledgment.

Wonwoo paid no attention to you and instead focused on the conversation with some other girls and guys. Your smiled dropped and your heart felt like it received some stabs.

but this was normal

Wonwoo saw your smile drop and turn to face the front. He looked at the lunchbox in front of him. You usually didn’t cook. It was mainly sandwiches or snacks.

He didn’t notice the numerous bandages on your hand.

Day 2

You greeted him again at the lockers. Wonwoo was particularly moody that morning.

“Hi won, did you eat breakfast?” you asked him

“You’re not in the position to ask. Stop being so extra. Seriously just get a life.” He spit out coldly.

You were taken aback. Of course you knew he didn’t like you but he never said anything verbally before.

Wonwoo saw you flinch slightly and for a second he felt guilty. You looked so scared. but to his surprise you smiled brightly at him and replied with an “Okay”

Day 3 

“Yah wonwoo, why don’t we prank Y/n” one of the girls asked him 

Wonwoo glanced away not liking the sound of it

“You can invite her to a movie and just stand her up. You know like sending a message? She likes you but after this she might just stay away finally” One of the other girls said

Now Wonwoo was interested.

“Just tell her to meet you tomorrow at the entrance of the movie theatre because you have a free ticket”

Wonwoo knew it was a shit move but it might actually make you stay away and stop bothering him

“Fine” shooeing away all the other people before tapping your shoulder.

“Y/n” You smiled excitedly since this was one of the few times he wanted to initiate a small conversation. Wonwoo on the other hand wanted to scrunch his face in disgust at how desperate you looked.

“i have two free tickets to a movie. So tomorrow at 5? outside the theatre?” You bobbed your head up and down.

Wonwoo almost felt bad at how much you were looking forwards to going out with him and even wanted to tell you the truth

But he clenched his fists and put on a small fake smile

This would be his chance to finally get rid of you

Day 4

You greeted Wonwoo per usual.

“So wonwoo, what are we going to watch later?” You waited for his answer as you stood beside his locker

“oh uh” Wonwoo hesitated for a while, “We can decide later”

Luckily for him, the bell rang and the both of you had to return to class.

After school, you rushed back home and found the perfect outfit for the movie.

You took about two hours to find the perfect outfit and reach the theatre on time.

You kept glancing at the watch on your wrist. It was nearly 30 minutes after five and there was no sign of Wonwoo anywhere. However, you never left and continued waiting in case he came late

About 8.10 pm, Wonwoo passed by the theatre towards the library to get some new books. That was when he saw you. The library was opposit the theatre thus it gave him a good view of you

and you wouldn’t be able to spot and follow him

You were blowing into your palms and dressed in an adorable flowery dress. It was getting closer with each hour.

Wonwoo’s glanced at his clock. she’s been waiting her for 5 hours?

He felt bad. He knew how bad of an idea this was but he had never meant to take it that far

But maybe after this she might really leave, won’t she?

He clenched his fists and bit his lip from walking over and telling her the truth

Day 5

As wonwoo took his first few steps into school he mentally thought to himself, in 5, 4, 3, 2,1 and the leech is back.

But he was taken aback when he didn’t hear your cheery voice greeting him good morning. Maybe at the lockers? He convinced himself.

Wonwoo got all of his stuff ready, and prepared himself for your cheery voice greeting him good morning. But as he closed his locker and turned around to where you usually stood, there was no sign of you.

Wonwoo hesitated. Why didn’t he feel happy that you weren’t there anymore?

Why did he feel so empty? like he missed seeing you beside him everyday.

He shook his head and walked to class. Maybe she forgot to catch the train?

Day 8

it’s been 3 days and there was absolutely no sign of you.

Wonwoo twirled his pen around in his hand and stared at the seat infront of him, chin on his hand. Usually he would be able to stare at your hair whenever he was bored, and sure sometimes he’d roll his eyes at how annoying you were.

But now, he sort of missed you.

Wonwoo missed how you would greet him at the lockers in the morning. How you would prepare or buy him lunch. How you always make sure to refill his bottle before and after physical class so that he has enough water to drink.

He couldn’t help but feel the intense guilt from standing you up that day

“Class before we end today’s lesson” the teacher said while packing up his books.

Wonwoo looked up, “Unfortunately, our classmate, Y/n met with a terrible car accident 4 days ago near the theatre. Thus, she’s isn’t going to be able to attend school for a while.”

Wonwoo’s breathing stopped

4 days ago. Near the theatre

He was right there. Watching her wait for him.

The guilt in his chest spread even more. He could’ve done something. Told her the truth. Not fking stand her up?

You’ve done so much for him, and even though he thought you were a nuisance, treated you badly your smile never faltered. You looked out for him unconditionally

Always made sure he was okay before you took care of yourself.

“Once she is allowed visitors” The teacher continued. “i would need a volunteer to pass her school materials and teach her some of the homework”

Wonwoo raised his hand immediately.

Day 11

Wonwoo heard the beeping of the machines wherever he walked in the hospital.

In his hands were your homework over the past one week that you haven’t attended school and a bouquet of flowers. The teacher had informed him your condition had improved greatly over the one week and that he was allowed to visit her.

Finally.

Wonwoo missed you. So damn much. He actually visited your hospital everyday hoping you would be walking downstairs and he would just wait there for a few hours before returning home.

He wasn’t able to catch one sight of you. This was probably how you felt when he stood you up.

Wonwoo finally found your room. He inhaled and exhaled to stop himself for being so nervous. Knocking twice, he heard your soft voice saying it was okay to come in.

He saw you lying on the bed. A book in your hands, your hair in a bun and wearing reading glasses.

You were shocked to the bones. Your parents informed you that the teacher had sent a volunteer to pass you the stuff you missed out in but never in the whole world would you have expected Wonwoo. With flowers as well.

He probably was forced into this.

“Wonwoo, you can just put those down here and leave. I’m sure you were forced into doing this. Thank you” you said gently.

Wonwoo shook his head and sat down on the chair beside you after closing the door

“No”

You tilted your head in confusion. Why wouldn’t he want to leave?

“you’ve always cared for me” Wonwoo spoke

“Greeting me, wishing me a good day, buying or making me lunch, refilling my bottle and even writing down my notes when i fall asleep in class” his voice got less steady with each sentence.

“I’ve never treated you nicely. Always brushed you away, thought you were a nuisance. When you’re the one person who cared for me like no one else.” He looked down. “You always smile at me even if i treat you badly”

You hesitantly took your hand and combed it through his hair, the whole time looking at Wonwoo if he was comfortable with it. But he only nuzzled closer to your palm

“That day, when i invited you to the movies. They asked me to prank you, and thinking selfishly that you would stop bothering me after that, i-i just stood you up”

He took your hands into his. Loving the way it fit perfectly in his palms.

“I’m so sorry Y/n. I’m sorry for not seeing how great you were. For judging your actions and for not caring for you sooner. i got you into this car accident. If i went to the theatre, maybe things would’ve been different. You wouldn’t have had to go through so much pain. All because of me” By now, Wonwoo’s eyes were filled with tears and they fell steadily.

You didn’t say anything, just shifted closer to him and brushed away his tears before smiling brightly at him. “Wonwoo, i forgive you. i’ll always look out for you, you know that. Unconditionally”

Wonwoo felt his heart rate pick up

Day 15

Over the days, you were significantly getting better. Wonwoo visited every single day and brought you snacks that you like. After getting closer this few days, Wonwoo was able to see how great of a person you are.

One day, he was coming into the hospital when he saw you with the children in the reading corner. You read them a book and made sure everyone was engaged. The way you smiled at them, made Wonwoo feel so proud of your kindness.

He would usually see you pushing older residents through the garden and talking to them.

He realised how much he missed of you. How you deserved that much kindness and humility back.

Wonwoo came into your hospital room that one time and you fell asleep waiting for him. You looked so peaceful, so beautiful that Wonwoo couldn’t help but raise his hand and brush away your stray hair before staring at you.

He left a peck on your forehead.

Day 18

You were finally being discharged. The doctors ran some tests and made sure you were completely healed but still had to avoid some physical activities in school.

The whole day the two of you ran to the children’s room and the older residents’s room, handing out snacks and flowers, wishing for their quick recovery.

Everyone hugged you before you left, thanking you for spending time with them.

With the promise that you would return and visit them, you left the hospital, hand in hand with Wonwoo.

Your parents were busy, thus they thanked Wonwoo for helping to see you home.

Wonwoo saw the big smile on your face and finally got up the courage, “So y/n”

you faced him and hummed.

“i was wondering, if, if you know we could come visit them together?” He said, hand in the nape of his neck.

You nodded quickly, happy that he wanted to spend more time with you. You couldn’t contain your excitement and wrapped your arms tightly around him.

Wonwoo carefully twirled you around and chuckled. “and, maybe afterwards, i could really bring you to the movies?”

You nodded, hands on his neck and his on your waist.

“I fell in love with you Y/n L/n, now it’s my turn to take care of you. Unconditionally”

Masterlist

[starryknight09]

No longer in service

Febuwhump Day 10: “I’m sorry. I didn’t know”

Read on AO3.

________________________________________________________

“We’re sorry.  You have reached a number that is no longer in service.”

Peter hung up and redialed.  He must’ve pushed a number wrong.

“We’re sorry.  You have reached a number that is no longer in service.”

He frowned and stared down at the phone screen as if it held the answer to why the number wasn’t working. He knew it was the correct number.  Although it’d been five years for everyone else, it’d only been a blink for him.  There was no way he’d forgotten May’s number.

He tried dialing one more time even though he knew it was pointless.

“We’re sorry.  You have reached a number that is no longer in service.”

He blew out a heavy breath and tried not to panic.  Just because May’s number was out of service didn’t mean anything bad had happened.  Maybe she’d been snapped too.  That seemed like the most likely explanation.  But even if she hadn’t, five years had passed.  There could be any number of reasons for why she’d changed her number.  Maybe it’d been a reminder of him that’d been too painful.  Although didn’t most people keep their numbers when that happened to preserve old voicemails and relisten to them?

In fact, that nudged something in the back of his mind.  A memory hit him along with a shot of adrenaline.  May had a voicemail from Ben that she’d kept, and she’d listened to it over and over when he’d first died.  As far as he knew, she still listened to it sometimes, just not everyday.  His stomach clenched.  She wouldn’t get rid of her number by choice.  Not if it meant losing that last piece of Ben.

Maybe something had happened financially and she couldn’t afford her phone anymore?  But he knew he was grasping at straws.  If anything, losing Peter would’ve relieved some financial strain.  Or maybe…  His brain wouldn’t even go there.  Wouldn’t acknowledge the other possibility.  He shook his head.  She had to have been snapped.  She had to have been.

But then what could he do?  He took another deep breath and looked out at the beautiful blue sky and lush rolling hills, the magnificence of the scenery in direct juxtaposition to his mood.  Any other time he’d be over the moon to be in Wakanda, but even before the phone call mishap, he’d barely been keeping it together.  He’d arrived there in terror along with everyone else, hoping for a miracle for Mr. Stark.  The man’s heart had stopped on the battlefield but that hadn’t phased Dr. Strange.  He’d portaled him to Wakanda along with some other girl that looked to be about Peter’s age, who he’d later found out was Princess Shuri.  

When Dr. Strange had returned to the battlefield half an hour later it was with the news that they’d managed to restart Mr. Stark’s heart but they couldn’t make any further promises yet.  Dr. Strange had transported whoever else wanted to go to Wakanda, which had been quite a few of them, but not all.  

Now, it’d been almost 24 hours since Peter had arrived.  Initially he’d gone straight to Mr. Stark’s room to see him, and eventually he’d fallen asleep for almost sixteen hours.  He’d been exhausted.  The fight in the city, on the spaceship, on the alien planet, and at the compound had all occurred in the span of less than twelve hours for him.  And he hadn’t escaped the final fight unscathed.  His concussion, broken nose and broken ribs had mostly healed, but he was still sore.  Things with Mr. Stark had improved as well, but not quite enough that the medical personnel were ready to guarantee he was going to survive.  

“Peter?”

He turned and it took him a couple seconds to acknowledge the other man.  “Hey Mr. Rogers.”  Maybe he needed some more sleep.

“It’s Steve, son.”

“Right.” He nodded.  But really, no way was he calling Captain America by his first name the day after he’d officially met him.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but have you had a chance to shower?”

He blushed but the other man probably couldn’t tell behind all the dirt and grime on his face.  He’d accidentally seen his reflection a couple hours after he’d arrived and he’d looked a mess then, and since he hadn’t had a chance to clean up yet, he definitely didn’t look any better.

“Oh.  Uh, no.  I don’t, um, know where it is.”

“The shower?”  Captain American frowned.  Great, the man probably thought he was an idiot.  “There isn’t one in your room?”

“My room?  I don’t…I don’t have a room.” He frowned.  He’d passed out in a comfy lounge chair in Mr. Stark’s room, and even after he’d awoken, he hadn’t left the man’s room until about fifteen minutes ago when he’d suddenly remembered May and realized he should try calling her.

“I’m sorry.” Steve apologized, looking slightly chagrined.  “We must’ve missed you.  You have a room.  We all do.  T’Challa was nice enough to accommodate us.  Come on, I’ll show you.”  Mr. Rogers beckoned him forward, and Peter automatically followed.

After a short walk, Mr. Rogers stopped in front of a door.  “Here we are.  This is your room.”

At least his room wasn’t too far from the medical wing.  Not that it mattered.  He didn’t have any intention of staying in it.  As soon as he cleaned himself off, he planned to head back to Mr. Stark’s room.

When he made no move to open the door after a few long seconds, Mr. Rogers reached out and opened it for him.  

“Go shower son.” Mr. Rogers said and the suggestion came out like a gentle command.  “And then maybe take a nap.  You look a little rough.”

“I’m fine.” He denied automatically.

Captain America cocked his head to the side and studied him intently for a few seconds with a slight smirk.

“What?”

“Nothing.” The man shook his head.  “You just remind me of someone.”

Peter frowned but didn’t care enough to ask.  Now that he was faced with the idea of a hot shower, he found it was all he could think about.  “Ok, well um, thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” Mr. Rogers gave him a slight nod and then turned and walked away, heading toward the medical wing.

Peter sighed and walked into his room.  It looked like something out of sci-fi movie.  Windows composed the entire back wall and light streamed in, illuminating the interior with all its sleek lines, metals combined with woods to make the space feel a mix of modern and natural.  Calming earth tones in the space set a calming mood, but Peter couldn’t take the time to appreciate it.  He headed straight toward the only other door in the room, which he assumed was the bathroom.

The bathroom décor matched the rest of the room.  He almost felt like he’d stepped into a spa.  Wow.  This place was nice.  It reminded him of Mr. Stark’s living spaces except with more of a nature twist.  Mr. Stark.  He really needed to shower so he could go back and check on the man.  Pepper had been with him when he’d left, so he hadn’t been alone, but Peter didn’t trust that something wouldn’t happen while he was gone.

He quickly undressed and stepped into the shower, scrubbing all the dried blood, dirt, and grime off his body, the water turning a dirty grey as it swirled down the drain.  Any other time he would’ve slowed down and savored the luxury, but right now he couldn’t, not with his thoughts filled with Mr. Stark and May.  As soon as he was clean, he turned the water off and stepped out, eyeing his dirty clothes warily.  He’d changed out of his suit and into a pair of scrubs when he’d initially arrived in the medical wing, but after 24 hours, he really didn’t want to get back in them.  He stepped out and searched the wardrobe in the room, not surprised to find it stocked with clothes in different sizes.  Mr. Stark did the same thing in his guest rooms.  Peter picked out a pair of black sweatpants and a grey sweatshirt in his size.  He threw them on, and was about to leave, when the desk computer in the corner of the room caught his eye.  If May was dusted or…not, there should be some record of it online.

His feet made their way over to it, and as soon as he sat down, the screen lit up.  It only took him a few seconds to find the browser icon and click on it, Google coming up as the default home page.  He settled his fingers over the keys but paused, breath quickening.  He knew what he needed to search, but he was afraid to find the answer.  The only way he managed to force his fingers to move was because he still held onto hope that everything was actually ok, and he wanted that reassurance.

‘May Parker Queens New York City obituary,’ he typed in, fingers stuttering over the last word.  He took a deep breath and clicked ‘enter’.

The results came up and his heart stopped.  The first link had a match for all his keywords.  He clicked on it, still hopeful.  It was probably just her obituary from being snapped.  

But no.  The short paragraph popped up on the screen and his eyes skimmed over it, taking in all the important information in a matter of seconds.

‘May Parker…’

‘…lost her brave battle against breast cancer on June 23, 2021 at the age of 51.’

‘Preceded in death by her husband Ben Parker and her nephew Peter Parker.’

‘A funeral service is scheduled for June 26th at…’

The words blurred in front of him.  He tore his watery eyes away from the screen and let out an anguished sob, head falling into his hands.  She was gone.  She’d been gone for two years.  He’d missed her funeral.  Thought after thought struck him like bullets, tearing his heart open.  He was alone.  He’d been resurrected from the snap just to find himself the sole survivor of his family.  He had no one left.

And he had no home.  He had nowhere to go.  That last thought hit him so hard he buckled forward, falling from the desk chair to collapse onto the soft carpeted floor.  He dug his hands into its plushness, not caring if he ripped it out, not caring about anything, as he cried and cried.  His entire being was pain.  How could one person have such bad luck?  Why did he have to live though loss like this over and over?  First his parents.  Then Ben.  And now May?  And now he might even lose Mr. Stark.  What had he done that the world saw fit to punish him this way?  Anyone that ever got close to him died.

“Why?” He whispered, between sobs, face pressed into the floor.  He didn’t know exactly what he was asking.  Why did they all have to die?  Why had he been brought back?  Why couldn’t he have stayed dead?  “Why?” He repeated, louder, and more desperate even though he knew it was pointless to ask.  It wasn’t like he would get an answer.

He had no idea how long he laid there, sobbing uncontrollably, but eventually he exhausted himself and his tears tapered off until all that was left were intermittent weak hiccupping cries.  He stared at the wall as the agony ebbed away and numbness crept in to take its place.

Eventually, he pushed off the floor with a sniffle, wiping the evidence of his anguish off his face.  He had to pull himself together.  For Mr. Stark.  There’d be plenty of time to fall apart later, especially if the worst happened with his mentor, although he hoped the world wouldn’t be so cruel as to take him too.

‘Please.  Please.’ He closed his eyes and begged, mouthing the words, afraid voicing the plea might jinx it, like telling someone your birthday wish.

He took a deep bolstering breath before stepping out of his room and making his way back to the medical wing.

When he entered Mr. Stark’s room, Ms. Potts graced him with a smile from where she sat in a chair next to the bed.  Or wait, he supposed her name was Mrs. Stark now.  At some point she’d told him they’d gotten married in the intervening five years.  And they had a little girl together, but she was staying back at home with Happy.

“You look better.” She commented on his clean appearance.  “Are you hungry?  The staff brought some dinner by.”

He shook his head.  No matter how hungry he was, there was no way he could stomach anything right now.

Mrs. Stark seemed to sense his mood.  She frowned, concern lining her face.  “What’s wrong honey?”

He shook his head and his gaze fell to his feet.  May used to call him that.  Honey.  Hearing the endearment come from Mrs. Stark’s mouth made his throat tighten.  He didn’t know how to form the words to explain what he’d found out.

Mrs. Stark stood and crossed the distance between them, her hands landing to rest comfortingly on his shoulders.  “What happened?”  He looked up at her as she searched his face for answers.  “Something happened.” She stated.

He nodded.

“You can tell me.” She encouraged softly.

He swallowed hard and croaked out, “May.”

“May?” Her brow furrowed.  “What about May?”

After a few quick inhales through his nose, he managed to say it.  “She…she died.”

“Oh sweetheart.” Mrs. Stark lamented, pulling him into a hug.  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Faced with the comfort of her embrace, he started crying again.  She just held him tighter, one hand coming up to cradle the back of his head.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled into her blouse once he’d calmed down.

“Don’t apologize.  You’ve had a terrible couple of days.”

He snorted messily.  That was the understatement of the century.  He pulled away, wiping at his face again.

“I don’t want you to worry about anything, ok?” Mrs. Stark told him, making a point to look seriously into his eyes.

He chewed at his lip.  “I-I don’t know what to do.  I don’t…I don’t have anywhere to go.”  Admitting it almost made him break down into hysterics again.

“Of course you do.  You’ll come with us.”

Peter’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

“I know he wasn’t good at showing it back then, but Tony loves you.” She explained having seen his disbelief.  “You’re not alone.  You have a home with us.”

“But what if…what if Mr. Stark…” He couldn’t finish the sentence, the possibility too terrible.

Mrs. Stark winced.  “The doctors say he’s doing a lot better, but if that happens, you’ll still have a home with me and Morgan.  As long as that’s ok with you.”

He nodded, eyes welling up again.  “That’s…thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” Mrs. Stark leaned forward to hug him again.  “I know it feels like the world’s ending right now, but it’s going to be ok.  We’ll figure it out together.”

“Ok.” He whispered.  He just hoped it was true, but even if it wasn’t, at least he had somewhere to go.  He had a home.

And he wasn’t completely alone.  

[imaginingsoftly]

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time Pt. 11 - Morgan Rielly

Type: roommates to lovers, Y/N insert shorts

Requested: No

Warnings: none

(Y/N = Your name)

A/N: This is it! This is the last chapter. It’s kind of a written version of an ending montage, and spans a couple of years. I hope you enjoy, and I’d love to hear suggestions for a new series.

That fall:

“You know,” Y/N said as she helped Morgan move into his new apartment, “I still think you should live with me again.” She understood where Morgan was coming from, deciding that having their own space for at least the beginning of their relationship was a good idea, but that didn’t mean she liked it. It was nice to have him sitting on the balcony when she got up in the morning or sitting on the counter while she made a snack after work. She had grown to rely on his presence in the apartment, especially when she was feeling especially anxious. Morgan huffed from in front of her, a nonverbal response to her suggestion, and she sighed. “I know, I know. Just also know I’ll be here a lot taking advantage of your balcony.” His balcony had a view of the city lights, rather than a courtyard, and she was wicked jealous. 

They came out of the elevator and were at the door of Morgan’s top-floor apartment before he finally responded. “I look forward to sitting out there with you.” He put down the box he was carrying, turning to face Y/N. “I’m not getting my own place because I don’t want to live with you. I just think a little bit of space could be good for us, since we were living together before we even started dating.” Morgan stared intently into Y/N’s eyes as he spoke, and she could see how sincere he was. Honestly, he was right. Space would definitely be good for them, at least for a little while. She pressed up onto her tiptoes to kiss Morgan, and he wrapped his arms around her waist without hesitation. It was awkward with the box and lamp she was carrying, and Morgan broke away from her with a laugh before unlocking the apartment and stepping inside.

The apartment really was beautiful, she did have to admit that. It was bright, much like her own place, but larger and more open. The entire wall open to the outside was glass, and a balcony took up the length of the room plus some, and she knew there was another entrance to the outdoors in the main bedroom. Morgan dropped his box just inside the entrance, rubbing his back with a groan. He’d thrown out his back the week before, getting a little too enthusiastic as he threw Y/N’s little cousins off the dock of the family lake house, and she knew it still wasn’t quite right. “You know,” she said with a laugh, “one of the biggest signs of age is throwing out your back. I think your body is trying to tell you something.”

Y/N knew that was the wrong thing to say when Morgan turned around with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Oh yeah?” He stalked towards her with a smirk on his face, and she cocked a hip at him with a nod. “I bet I could prove you wrong.” he surged forward, scooping Y/N up and over his shoulder. She laughed, weakly pushing his back. Morgan turned and began walking towards the main bedroom, squeezing Y/N’s calf gently. “I’ll show you old.” He threw her onto the mattress sitting in the middle of the room, a pile of wood that would eventually be his bed laying in piles around it. Y/N laughed as he did, though she stopped when Morgan caged her in. He pushed Y/N’s hair out of her face gently and leaned in for a kiss, and she pulled him down on top of her. 

Later, Y/N traced her fingers over where Morgan’s hand sat just over her right collarbone. His arms were wrapped around her waist and her shoulders, and they watched the sun set from their spot in the middle of the mattress. It was perfect. 

The next June:

They did it. The clock counted down to zero and Y/N stood frozen next to Kat, though the rest of the families were freaking out around them. Mrs. Rielly was yelling to her left, and Dougie’s parents were hugging in front of her.

Dougie was grabbing at Morgan down on the ice, and Y/N could see from where she sat that Morgan was crying. So was she. The guys were huddled around Andrei, who’d just scored the game-winner, and Petr was grabbing at Coach Brind'Amour, though the poor goalie looked like his legs were barely supporting his weight after the onslaught he’d faced at the beginning of the 3rd overtime period. The box began to clear around them, and Y/N and Kat finally came back to reality to hug each other fiercely. “They did it, Kat,” Y/N whispered into her friend’s ear, “holy shit they did it.” Kat rubbed a hand over her growing stomach, where Y/N knew her and Andrei’s daughter was more than likely kicking. She loved the rink even more than her father. 

The wait to get onto the ice with the boys felt like it took a million years. The energy around the group was incredible, and Y/N was pretty sure she’d hugged more people in the last hour than she had her entire life. She could swear PNC was shaking, and Y/N took a second to close her eyes and listen to the crowd. They were chanting Andrei’s name as he accepted the Conn Smyth, and Kat squeezed Y/N’s hand even tighter. Andrei’s mother was on Kat’s other side, and Evgeny stood next to Y/N. It didn’t feel real.

Morgan was in the middle of an interview when Y/N spotted him. He stopped in the middle of a sentence when he saw her, his smile somehow growing larger. “Red Sox!” Y/N saw the camera shift onto her out of the corner of her eye, but she ignored it as she slid over to Morgan. He caught her with a laugh, spinning them in a circle. The reporter caught his attention again, but Morgan kept an arm wound tightly around Y/N’s shoulders as he continued to talk. 

The next few hours were a flurry of movement and photos, and Y/N was hugged by more people she didn’t know than people she did. Andrei pulled Y/N and Morgan away from his parents long enough to take a “family photo” with him and Kat, and Y/N made a mental note to get that framed for her and Morgan’s apartment. By the time they made it out to the club the team decided on, Y/N was already a few beers and some champagne in and she knew Morgan was the same way. It felt like half the city was there to celebrate with the boys, and Y/N spent more time taking videos and pictures of them interacting with the crowd than she’d ever done on Instagram stories before. Kat left early, tired from the baby and a little irritated with the drunkenness around her, and Andrei followed not long after with an impressive speech about how much he loved Kat, made even more impressive by the amount of alcohol he’d consumed. 

Y/N and Morgan made it home eventually, though convincing Dougie that sleep was a good idea and to let them go home proved to be difficult. Dougie eventually relented, and Morgan had to help Dougie from the Uber and into his place on the way back to his and Y/N’s shared apartment. They made it to bed as the sun began rising over the city, and Morgan held Y/N close as they fell asleep and the world turned gold around them.

July 1st, the following year:

“So we’re doing this, then?” Morgan held his finger over the number typed into his phone, and Y/N squeezed his other hand. Free agency day had come, and they were about to change their entire world. Morgan was ready to go home, and Y/N was ready for an adventure. Besides, home was wherever Morgan was. Y/N nodded, and Morgan hit the call button. The GM on the other end of the line picked up, and Morgan spoke one sentence that began the change. “I’m about to sign the paperwork.” His smile was infectious, and Y/N smiled widely back at him. The paperwork felt endless, and she found herself playing photographer so that there was proof of the signing and for the social media page to post wherever they decided to. 

Morgan finally said his goodbyes to the GM, and he barely hit the end call button before he was leaping up to wrap Y/N in a hug. “I love you.” She hugged him back tightly, and whispered the same. They stood like that for a moment, and then Morgan’s phone lit up with a call. And so it began. Y/N slipped away to grab them both beers, and Morgan clinked his appreciatively against hers as he talked with Elias. Y/N stepped out onto the balcony of the Vancouver apartment and smiled. This would be her new view every day. Canada was new, and the thought of changing everything to move to a new country scared her shitless, but there would be time to worry about that later. 

She stood there until the sun began sinking in front of her, and Morgan joined her outside. “I think that’s the last of them, at least for now.” He slung an arm around Y/N’s shoulder, pulling her close. “I’ve got something to show you, if you’re up for a nighttime drive.” Y/N threw a look up at him, and he laughed. Of course she was up for a nighttime drive. “Okay, I know, c’mon.” He turned and headed back inside, grabbing his keys from the sweatshirt lying over the back of the couch. 

They drove for almost a half an hour, singing quietly to the bluetooth as the sights of the city flew past them. The water came into a more consistent view as they drove, and Y/N made a mental note to drive this road again the next time she couldn’t sleep. The air was cool as it filtered through the sunroof and she shivered slightly. Morgan pulled into a driveway suddenly, and Y/N stared up at the house in front of them. It was newer, full of windows and what she thought was a rooftop deck sitting just at the tip of her viewpoint. She turned to Morgan in confusion, and he smiled. “When we decided on Vancouver a few days ago, I started thinking about how we could really get a proper restart. I was thinking we could put an offer in on this place if you liked it.” 

He opened his car door and climbed out after that, and Y/N slowly did the same. Morgan punched in the code for the lock and held the door open, gesturing for Y/N to enter first. It took her breath away. Even in the growing darkness the house was bright. Moonlight filtered in from the windows covering most of the walls she could see. They were black-trimmed, standing out neatly against the white of the walls. The place was empty, but it still felt homey. Morgan reached out and grabbed Y/N’s hand, tugging her further into the house. “You’ve gotta see the kitchen. It has my favorite views other than the roof.” 

The view was incredible. Windows over the sink looked out onto the bay, and Y/N could see a dock leading down to the water from the deck outside the living room. Morgan brushed a finger over her left cheek, and Y/N realized she was crying. “Morgan, this place is incredible.” He cupped her face gently, smiling. “I know,” he said cheekily, “that’s why I picked it out.” Y/N stared at him incredulously, though the effect was slightly ruined by the tears still sitting in her eyes. Morgan nodded his head back in the direction they had come from. 

“You’ve got to see the best part of the house.” The upstairs was just as beautiful as the downstairs, though Morgan didn’t give Y/N a chance to appreciate it the way he had the kitchen. He kept moving, pulling her towards another set of stairs. The outside hit her suddenly, and the smell of the water was carried along the breeze up to them. If the view from the kitchen was perfect, the view from the roof was otherworldly. Y/N walked towards the railing in an almost trancelike state, and she only stopped when the railing hit her midsection. She felt tears welling in her eyes again, and she didn’t have the will to swipe them away. This view alone was reason to buy the house. The city lights sparkled from across the dark bay, and lights from a ferry shone even further away. The sky was a dark purple now, almost completely black, and a full moon was rising over the water and the city. 

Y/N leaned back into Morgan, and he wrapped his arms around her tightly. “I want to do forever with you, sweetheart, and I think this is a good place to start.” He leaned down to rest his head on Y/N’s shoulder, and she sighed contentedly. “Marry me?” Y/N jerked, turning quickly in Morgan’s arms. He was smiling down at her nervously, and she felt her face break into a wide smile. She nodded, not quite trusting her voice. “Yeah?” Morgan reached up to cup Y/N’s face as he spoke. 

“Yeah,” she responded, grabbing the front of his shirt to pull him down to her. They were smiling too big to properly kiss, and Y/N broke away to lean her forehead on Morgan. “I love you, Hotshot.” Morgan laughed, pecking her lips again. “I love you too, Red Sox.”

They were home again and sitting on the couch when Morgan blanched, jumping up with a muffled “shit” and running out of the room. Y/N sat there confusedly, trying to decide if she should follow him, when Morgan came skidding back into the room. “I forgot about this.” He held out a velvet box, and Y/N began to laugh. The laugh grew until she was clutching her sides, sliding down the couch until she was lying back. Morgan joined in eventually, and they held each other as they laughed. It took a few minutes until they were composed enough to speak again, and Morgan slid the ring out of the box and onto her finger. It was simple, small and perfect, and Y/N laughed quietly as she leaned in to kiss Morgan again. “I love you, Morgan Reilly.” 

They waited until the next morning to tell anyone, calling their families as soon as it was an acceptable time. Around noon Morgan posted a picture of Y/N drinking coffee onto his Instagram, the coffee cup and her left hand the only things in the photo in focus. A simple caption followed that led to an animated conversation with Kat and a lecture from Andrei about the proper way to announce big news. 

So about last night…

October, Vancouver’s Opening Night: 

To say opening night was exciting would be an understatement. Morgan’s mother had been texting Y/N all day to confirm their pre-game plans, and Y/N finally understood where Morgan’s energy came from. They had gotten dinner together at a place Mrs. Rielly swore by, and then had settled into seats in the family box to watch Morgan make his debut for his hometown team. The arena was giddy, especially as their team came out swinging. They won, and by the end of the game Morgan had scored his first goal as a Canuck. The goal and a fantastic play to save the game in the third gave him first star of the game, and the arena roared as he skated out for a lap. He raised his stick in appreciation before settling onto the bench to talk to the crowd.

“So Morgan, I have to ask you about your summer. It was quite eventful, yes?” The in-arena interviewer smiled at Morgan expectantly, and Y/N laughed because she knew what was coming. “I hear you got engaged to a former roommate?”

Morgan smiled sheepishly and nodded. “Well I had just gotten traded to Carolina, and I needed a place to stay. Dougie Hamilton told me he knew of a girl who needed someone to rent the other room in her apartment, and it seemed like a good idea at the time…”

[jessicaromain]

My Mobile Day Blog — Why My iPhone is My Lifeline

I have been an iPhone user for almost a decade. Although the purpose to why I use my iPhone has changed over the years, one thing remains the same … this mobile device is my lifeline. The amount information stored in phone is truly overwhelming. From my perfectly curated playlists, to personal finances, as well as school and work contacts, my phone is something I could never not have. Additionally, it my ultimate way of communicating with friends, family members and potential employers. The mobile universe is so complex, but at the same time so simple. 

The use of mobile begins from the second I wake up, until the moment I close my eyes. I begin every day by waking up to an alarm I had set the night before. Immediately, I hit snooze … or I get moving by playing one of my morning playlists; my favourite is Let’s Get This Bread. After my initial wake up call, I grab a cup coffee and scroll through my most important apps. Which normally goes in this order: e-mail, instagram, and then twitter. In the morning, I try to ease myself in to what I am consuming. I find it can be overwhelming seeing so much at once, as well as it being a horrible habit to sit for an hour scrolling to kick the start the day. 

My five most used apps are…

Music

Notes

Instagram

E-mail

Tik Tok

This information is very accurate for I am constantly listening to music. Whether it is while I am driving or on the subway, working out, throwing a party, or hanging with my sister, I am constantly someone who needs a bit of background noise to help set the mood. Below are two screenshots of playlists in my library that I have curated. Follow me on Apple Music @jessicaaromainn!

I am an avid Notes user. I plan every day by the  hour (yes, very Type A of me). This allows me to visual what I need to complete, things I have committed to, and other mini goals I have for the day. I also have running lists of ideas, such as different cities and my favourite spots, or places I want to visit and restaurants to try. This is an example of my daily notes.

I am not even sure if I need to speak on why Instagram is one of my most used apps, because it is that popular. However, I gain a lot of my inspiration for outfit ideas, recipes I want try, and vacation destinations from Instagram. I absolutely love the creativity element of it. As well, sharing photos to my friends and seeing their photos is an amazing way to stay in touch with people you might not see often!

Email is self explanatory, it is one of my main methods of communication with work and school, as well as all of the online shopping receipts and confirmations from pandemic retail therapy I have been doing. 

I downloaded Tik Tok only a few months ago when Toronto was in the first serious lockdown. I was so bored and thought learning some of the dances would be a fun way to pass time. Little did I know that it would soon become one of my favourite platforms; I love how everything is curated based on your likes and interests, showing what I really want to see. 

Even though those are my top five most used apps, I have many on my phone. In fact, I have 47 (that does not include the pre installed Apple ones). The apps range from shopping apps like Zara and Free People to mobile banking, travel, photo editing and more.

Micro Moments

Having learned about micro moments both this semester and last, I understand the impact and the importance of them. Before learning about micro moments, I was unaware that it was happening in my life. But now, I am able to recognize when a micro moment happens, which is pretty cool. I had a micro moment today in which I turned to my device in want to buy. I wanted to buy booty bands, which is a form of exercise equipment. I have been very in to at home works out since lockdown began many months ago, making going to my regular Soul Cycle and Barry’s Bootcamp classes impossible. So at home workouts it has been. I have been using my Dad’s weights and my yoga mat, but I wanted equipment that would help tone specific areas. Normally I buy most of my skiing and tennis gear from Sporting Life, so I would say I am loyal to them. As well, I buy majority of active wear from Lululemon. However ... I purchased the bands from Amazon. I think I am unlike most Millennials and Gen Z when I say this, but I prefer not order from Amazon (weird, I know). But I just wanted something easy, cheap and not have to wait months to receive it … so I knew Amazon would have what I was looking for! Purchasing it felt good, but I have yet to receive the bands, so I am unable to judge the actual product. However, the email confirmation came straight to iPhone, making it easy for me to track the progress of the order, and know when it gets delivered!

My other micro moment that has been occurring a lot recently is my want to know. After being stuck indoors for almost a year, I am eager and burning to get out and see the world. I want to do something somewhat bold, so I have been teetering with the idea of moving to Vancouver at the end of 2021. I have been searching things to do in Vancouver, such as hiking, skiing, shopping, dining, etc. But most importantly, I would need a place to live! I was able to find some neighbourhoods that interested me and have book marked for my future use. The outcome was amazing for I was able to find so much information, and it made me feel better about the idea of moving to the west coast. 

Non Mobile Friendly Websites, A.K.A. A Big Annoyance

I normally search initially on my iPhone, but when the search becomes more complex and deep, I switch over to my laptop. Sometimes the accessibility on a mobile website is not ideal, which is frustrating and makes me ultimately restart and use a different landing page. Annoying, but not the end of the world when I know it will be viewable on my laptop. An example of this is condos.ca interface, which I was using in my Vancouver accommodation search. I was not able to see photos as easily as I would have liked.

Recommendation

Based on my personal mobile experience, something that I would do as a marketer is to ensure that apps and websites have simple and clean interfaces so that searcher’s do not leave the landing page. I think this is a key element in omni-channel marketing for if something does not work for a user, they will find somewhere else where it will. 

[durifmdarchived]

li-la  - fmdverification self para.

date: spring 2021. character(s) involved: n/a.   about: full writing verification for li-la. underneath the cherry blossoms at night, duri writes a song that he titles “li-la” about his initial fear of chasing dreams and how it has gone for him in a way.  trigger warnings: n/a. notes: again, not due till like sept 2021 but we’re getting em done 8 months early lets go!! we did the final lyric verification for i am a dreamer !! we’re almost there !!  word count: 1,155.

spring has always been duri’s least favorite season, something that people around him had really known. he always had a lot harder time within the spring, due to his parents passing at the beginning of spring due to the accident that had forever changed duri in more ways than one. a time that was meant to be warm, for the flowers beginning to bloom... had turned colder than the winter itself. his flowers didn’t bloom till summer hit - they were summer flowers now, rather than spring flowers. spring was going to forever feel like the coldest season to him and winter was going to feel a lot warmer to him, in a bit of a strange way. on his way back from one of his schedules, he decided to take a walk underneath the cherry blossoms, something that was a piece of comfort to him - one of the last remaining memories of his parents, that he held onto with everything in him. the beauty that surrounded him with a night time walk underneath the stars and the cherry blossoms... he’s finally having a bit of a peace as he made his way along. upon the walk, he comes across a bench, sitting down upon it, and just taking it all in. what would you know? he’s itching to write a song, something that came to him in his moments of peace. he pulls the notebook and pen from the pocket in his jacket - he kept it like this, incase he was ever hit with something or needed some type of distraction. he would sit there, penning a song, until it had become finished - not wanting to leave the inspiration spot, even if he were to get stuck on words. he opens it to a new page, before clicking the pen, and getting ready to put it to paper, to fill the page up with the lyrical poetry. 

the cherry blossoms had reminded him of the struggles of chasing dreams, as well as the struggle of moving forward from the things that still haunted him. maybe it was because how the cherry blossoms hold a memory for him, while happy, it still sent a bit of a sadness in him; something he couldn’t help. nonetheless, he would begin to write the song with the thoughts that entered his mind. he would start with talking about the beauty that was all around him, hearing something precious. he then writes something about how it’s always easy just to turn around, go back, and don’t walk the path. you could just breath, the habit that you have, and dream that fades like a spark that went off - words that he writes down next. something you can do without any regret, live with no regrets, he decides to write something of that sort. sometimes, following your dreams is something that can feel a bit lonely, it’s a different path, and you never know where it could go. there was also the fact that when it came to taking care of himself, duri choose a lonely road in that matter to. he writes that all day into lines of his thoughts, even mentioning about even if he stumbles, he’ll still be moving forward, looking ahead. he even mentions what he’s talking about the entire time, how scary it is to follow your dreams, how uncertain it is, but even then, you’d still reach the end. he thought it sounded nice and it was a nice reminder that he did it, so other people could do it as well. he looks up upon the cherry blossoms again, restart his inspiration all over again, before looking down to continue to writing. he decides to write that he doesn’t sing songs that are easy to hear and forget; they’re meant to be heard and not forgotten, especially when he’s giving comfort. he wanted to make a mention of hardships in the way - hardships are something that he’s faced day to day for most of his life, as most people probably do. some worst than others, of course, but there’s no need to compare each hardship. he takes his stuff day by day, the terrible mental health that’s been placed upon him. but, he makes his own pace with it. those were all themes and words he wrote down, as it seemingly made sense, and he wanted to really just say something about him in that sense. 

he hits the pen against his lips for a moment, just to seemingly get his thoughts flowing on where to go next. this was always the hardest part, to say the least, to decide what exactly he should add and where he should add those things. he writes down “how about this?” before counting to three in the lyrics. upon doing that, he would add in all the stuff about walking on that dark, lonely road, and the lines that came after it that he wrote not too long ago; they really gave the meaning to the song that he wanted, thus becoming his chorus. now, he just had the task of figuring out the rest of the song, as he was rather sure that he was coming closer to the end of it, after all. tapping upon the paper to get his mind flowing again, with the scene of cherry blossom petals falling down next to him, he lets himself be more lost within his thoughts. that’s when he had decided where to go with the song. he mentions a longing to be a fool - even though he’s already mostly one, he’s heard it before. however, he makes a promise to remain as good person - though, in truth, it’s probably hard not for duri to remain a good person. that’s something that seemingly courses through the blood of the man. after penning down those lines, duri talks of someone being a gift to him, a dream of love; which would probably be in reference to kai, his dream of love. nonetheless, he smiles when he walks, a line that he writes down in different wording. light being brighter than the sun, but even if it dazzles in his gaze, he just looks forward - for he is the sun and the sun is he, nothing can get in the way of his dreams or the things he wants to do. going over the rest of the song after penning it, he feels a bit happy - a song really personal to him, that truly spoke of him.

after finishing it, he closes the notebook, and puts both items back in his pocket. he sits there, taking in the scenery for a bit longer, allowing that memory of childhood to flood his memory thanks to the cherry blossoms. after a good while, he gets to his feet, and walks under the rest of the cherry blossoms, making his way home. 

[writingwithadinosaur]

“From Something to Nothing to Something” - Part 4

“From Something to Nothing to Something” - Part 4

My Masterlist - Here

My Tag List - Here

Alfred Pennyworth x Reader

Word Count: 2,000-ish

Key: Y/N = Your Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color

Warnings: Depression type things, cursing(?)

Summary: After an apartment robbery changes your life, you find out how lucky you are.

Author’s Note: I know Alfred isn’t a high demand character, but I loved his arch and how they portrayed him in the show. I hope you enjoy!

This is not beta-read, so let me know if there are any huge mistakes.

If you would like to be tagged in any of my future pieces, check out my tag list above and let me know! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

<3

- DreaSaurusREX

----------------

After a few months, you wished that you could say “I have a better apartment, a better job, and I feel safer than before!” 

Only one of those things is true.

You were still living in Wayne Manor. It was beautiful as always, but you hadn’t anticipated living there for more than a month or so. You felt as if you had been taking advantage of Bruce’s generosity even though he always said that it was no problem. You had even tried to give him or Alfred money for groceries, bills, gas, or even just for their willingness to help and house you. They always refused your money. If you ever managed to sneak some money into one of their coat or pant pockets, that money always found itself back on your bedside table. 

As for your job, almost a week after moving in with Bruce and Alfred, Oswald’s club had been taken over by Barbra Kean and Tabitha Galavant and is now called “the Sirens.” So needless to say, you were unemployed. You helped out as much as you could around the house while applying for jobs all over Gotham. Hoping something would catch. But so far it was just a lot of “We’ve decided to go with someone else” or “We’re sorry but…” type of emails and phone calls.

With all of the negatives that sprang into your life recently, you could at least say that you felt safer than before. 

Wayne Manor was so hushed and far away compared to the constant cars and sirens and people that you had gotten used to. Between the silence and the isolation from the rest of the city, it put you on edge for the first few weeks. But once you got comfortable being there again, it became more and more safe.

Some days were easier than others when it came to motivating yourself. You tried to hide the bad days from Bruce and Alfred. But sometimes it was hard to do that.

Today was one of the harder days.

You had been able to get up and open the curtains and grab your sketchbook, but nothing more than that. Some doodles were scattered on a page while you stayed in bed staring off into space and zoning out. You knew you needed to get up and do something productive today or at least eat, but your lack of energy kept you under your covers with no concept of time until Alfred knocked on your bedroom door.

“(Y/N)? You alive in there?” 

“Shit. Yeah! Hang on!” You hadn’t expected anyone for a little bit. You could have sworn that Bruce said they had a meeting at Wayne Enterprises this morning. You shuffled to the door and tried to prepare an “okay” look on your face. 

“Good morning, Alfie! What are you doing here? I thought there was a meeting?”

“There was. It was at 11 o’clock.” Alfred looked down at his watch. “It’s now 2 in the afternoon.” You grabbed his wrist to look at the time yourself, then looking back at the clock on your nightstand to make sure you were seeing things right. You ran both of your hands over your face and through your hair as you let out a groaned sigh. 

“Goddamnit.”

“Are you alright, (Y/N)?” You quickly plastered a small smile on your face in an attempt to make yourself sound true.

“Of course. I just lost track of the day. Why wouldn’t I be okay?” Alfred lifted the back of his hand to your forehead to feel for any sign of fever. When he found nothing, he opened the door more and made his way to sit on the side of your bed.

“Well something is off, so you might as well tell me now before it gets worse, yeah?” 

Alfred pat the space next to him and you shuffled over and plopped next to him, laying on your back while he sat upright. There was a moment of silence as Alfred thought over his next action carefully. While you weren’t looking, he reached out for your hand and took it in his, brushing his thumb over the back of it comfortingly. You already felt tears starting to sting your eyes as you held on a little tighter to his hand and shut your eyes.

After a moment of silence, all you could muster was, “This sucks.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I am thankful for everything you and Bruce have done for me. But I feel like I’m stuck and I have no idea where life is going at the moment and that equally terrifies me and makes me upset. It’s got me asking myself, `What's the point?’ some days. At least when I was working for Penguin, I felt like I was contributing to something. Whether I was contributing to something good or bad was not my choice, but I was still doing something. Now I don’t even have the chance to produce much of anything.”

“You do plenty here.” With your eyes closed, you couldn’t tell that Alfred was watching your face as you tried to hold in some emotions. “You help cook and clean. I’m sure without you cooking sometimes Bruce and I would miss a meal when we get too involved in our work. Not to mention you have kept Master B in check plenty of times while I’ve had my back turned.” 

“I guess. But I still feel so small. I mean, I went from growing really quickly with Oswald and Butch at the bar because of my ability to learn and adapt quickly, to then having everything taken from me. And I couldn’t even go back to work because this is Gotham and nothing is really permanent.”

A brief silence left your words hanging in your head. Another tear slipped as you let out a shaky breath. Alfred saw, but didn’t say anything, he just kept holding your hand and trying to comfort you the best he could.

“Starting over isn’t easy for anyone, (Y/N). All of us have had to restart more than we expected these days. You just have to be patient and take things as they come. And you have a support system behind you, ready to help with whatever you need.”

You really didn’t want to cry in front of Alfred, which made your throat clench with unshed cries. All you could muster was an approving nod. A minute of comfortable silence drifted as you regained your breath and felt your chest loosen. Alfred kissed the back of your hand, your skin heating up at the unexpected but welcomed affection, before standing up and offering his hand out to you. Sitting up, you tilted your head slightly. 

“C’mon, you. Since you haven’t been out of bed all day, I’m assuming you haven’t eaten. So,” Alfred stepped forward, grabbing both of your hands as you scooted towards the edge of the bed, pulling you up with a smile, “up ya’ go!” 

You didn’t expect to be lifted so quickly and almost effortlessly, meaning you easily lost your balance. You laughed as you bumped into Alfred, his hands quickly moving from yours to your waist to keep you from falling back into bed, your smile not fading. 

Seeing you smile like this made Alfred’s heart grow, forming a smile on his own face. Having you in his arms was something he wasn’t sure would happen outside of a normal hug. It made his heart beat so loud that he was sure you could feel it from your palms on his chest. Before he could get too into his own head, he spoke.

“Shall we then?” 

The two of you walked to the kitchen, you tried to help cook or at least clean some of the dishes from their breakfast earlier this morning, but Alfred just moved you to the nearby chair. While he had his back turned to put the kettle on and start preparing lunch for everyone, you snuck on some light background music. It was an album of classics: Sinatra, Louis Armstrong, et cetera. You hummed along as you flipped through a nearby cookbook. You heard a soft chuckle from Alfred. “You got a problem with my music choices, Alfie?”

“Not at all, miss! Just amazed that you know some of these.”

“You forget that my parents lived off of artists like these.”

“Very true.”

Alfred was working on making tea for the two of you when you slid to the other side of the stove and took over grilling some veggies for whatever he had in store for lunch. He just gave you a look before fixing your tea exactly how you liked it. Instead of handing it to you when the veggies finished cooking, he set it on the table where he sat you moments ago. You sat down and he took the pan of vegetables off the heat, then finished preparing his own cup. 

When he turned around, you were staring at the mug of tea, your eyes starting to get glassy. He walked closer, putting a hand on your shoulder as he sat in the seat next to you.

“Everything alright, miss?” You jumped, not realizing how far into your thoughts you were.

“Yeah. I just.. I wasn’t expecting this mug.”

“Right. I hope you don’t mind. Detective Gordon called the earlier, asking how you were doing. He also said that your old landlord was renting out your space despite everything going on. So Bruce and I went over after the meeting at Wayne Enterprises and got the last of your things out. I thought it would be a nice thing to see that mug again.” Alfred paused, trying to read your reaction. When it didn’t change, Alfred worried he had messed up. “But if it reopened any wound or anything, I can get a different--”

“No. It’s fine. It’s actually perfect.” You swiped a tear off your cheek before reaching for Alfred’s hand and giving it a squeeze. “Thank you, Alfie.”

“Anything for you, luv.” Alfred gently squeezed your hand back. 

Something inside of you wanted to just throw every bit of hesitation out the window and kiss him for being so sweet towards you. You felt as if you both were on the same page, but too scared to keep going. You shifted your focus when you saw movement behind Alfred’s shoulder.

“Hey, Bruce!” Alfred pat your hand before letting go, rising and making his way back to lunch preparations. You smiled at Bruce and quickly wiped whatever remaining wetness was around your eyes.

“Good afternoon, (Y/N)! Are you alright?”

“Yes. Just got a bit emotional over a silly mug.” You chuckled hearing yourself. Bruce smiled. “Come sit! Tell me how the meeting went!” 

Alfred looked over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of you talking with Bruce. You were always so good with him despite an age gap. It was another part of you that made Alfred’s heart yearn for you. 

If only he could tell you how he felt.

----------------

Tags - @melconnor2007 @ashenfallsof @geeksareunique @all-by-myself98​  @gothamimagines @theeactress @aya-fay @xxxeatyourh3artoutxxx @the-world-has-buttery-smiles @sj-thefan @cutesnakemum @sharknadoslut @superwholockgeekgirl4life @writings-of-a-girl

[geektech713]

My Bipolar life & Struggles

My Testimony! living with bipolar & healed of bipolar in 2017 about my 2008 story I am disabled by federal government and state because of my bipolar disorder .  I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after I started my business outside of high school ..I been fighting for my life since 2001 when I was diagnosed ..I started Digitalrao dba on december 15th 2001 and then I was diagnosed by doctor in  March I was on medication . I was only 18 or 19 when I started my business straight out high school I was about about to start find funding and everything ..but High school friends and bullies at school were making making me fight for get be left alone ..I was throw in ISS most the school year and everything I  eventually left I went to Private Christian school in my town to get school . I am always learning because of my disorder makes me hard to concrete . I am not the violent type of bipolar you hear about ..I like to take care of my issue ASAP before it gets worse , find the doctors to help .I am forced to take medication for my survival and I won’t be able to destroy my life or online rep . For all those who don’t know my testimony . Bipolar Disorder is Mental Illness , I believe it because I gave up on life with my Bullied bad  in high school and standed up against them . I was in school for almost 4 -5 years because of other issues  and then Private I tried to finish early but  I took college Computer Networking class at another High School in our District for extra credit an Air Force ROTC  . I flew once behind the control of small plane too . I have decided to follow Jesus with everything after finding an youth group called Portico at Old lakewood church campus before the moved into stadium ..Lakewood church ..Joel Osteen before that was John Osteen before he went up to the lord . well I was fighting to get my life on the straight path because I was fighting things unseen I don’t want to talk about it was battle over my soul after I got out the hospital and doctor visits and court from trans passing at my high school I  went too   .after couple months of dealing with State over my condition they dismissed my charged I was set free and I came running to God/Jesus because .I know medication and doctors wouldn’t be able to heal me . Bipolar disorder was called Manic Depression . yes I suffer from depression I haven’t been depressed in couple of months It is getting better.  Bipolar is very serious mental condition . it destroys life’s left and right ..I am restart my life after relapse  2 years and took me 2 years of Hard work to get back where I am now but  I had to fight for my life in everything I believe in and test my thinking and mindset and friends . I do my business because it is my dream and It is accident in 2001 Google came out and was just a start up and I heard about I google how to start a business and researched how to get into it ..I am just dba doing business as One day I will have enough money to Corporate it and just watch it grow and let some Jesus let MBA older person lead the company  .well i was saying  .                                                                              I was starting to building up on my own feet with no partnerships or anything I am boot stamping Digital Rao right now But I have partnership with Business Remedy my first independent contract . well one with my story  I was engaged to some girl that I though would be the one well I thought she was real christian and changed but I was wrong ..short story she left me after one of my business owner friends told me she was using me or cheating on me . I was heart Broken . I tried to get computers jobs to keep afloat I was working at Kroger and moved up 3 positions in 9 months of being their from sacker to dairy department but I was asked to be Kroger Department manager because I am career driven  . I told other store manager NO because some off the wall . my X fiance parents and her was telling to say NO to the offer because some stupid reason . but my  personal reason was because I wanted to be in computers not retail environment I left to Truckstop to work the cashiers and learn to run a store at night ..well I was working on my business running , taking calls and going to work at night 10-6am and then I would take calls from my ad’s in yellow pages and online and talk with vendors and so on …Lets say I almost had it but then how my story gets sad and depressing ..well I said my X fiance  . I wanted to go Trade conference in Dallas,TX  an Technology conference I was invited to go as local business I was so happy and my fiance wasn’t I was preparing to go a room at hotel some far to save on gas and food and all expenses just getting ready and then bam . I wanted to go San Antonio or Round Rock,TX aka HQ of DELL ,  I looked at my checking and asked her if wanted to go micro-vacation she told me NO . I said I need to get away from all the stress I am under and get new prospective I was trying to find my balance because I felt unbalanced and drained  . we kissed each other bye and I made to San Antonio and to get some gas and food and my personal checking account bounced on me , came back on me I was denied it was 2 hours after that i got to San Antonio from Houston area . I was at McDonald’s and realized I was broke I was cleaned out ..I had credit balance 500 dollars or more on my personal side and i tried every credit card I had I think .. receive well my other story began I ran out of gas just under the under pass at one dell way under the highway I stalled their and one dell employee put 10 or 20 dollars in my tank I was thankful but after driving short distance wasn't enough to get me to back home I went to find the Dell Diamond ..then I ran out of gas at night by some homes  ..and then I started to walk like Jesus and find someone to help me  . I was desperate I went to walking to 7-11 and asked for job application I wanted to work In Round Rock to get some money . I had crazy idea’s  after failed attempts I talked couple what  happened to me and everything and I went walking to church for help just stay the night or anything it was Sunday night as I was about step on the crosswalk of the church the Round Rock Police pulled nearly arrested me . i told them what happen with me and took me my Chevy Tahoe  , and the mental people checked me out for the County and said you are good to go not going Jail for the Night since you are small business owner from not our area . I was thankful the round rock county took me to Red Roof Inn and then  I tried to call parents and KSBJ to let them pray for me I used Google 411 to make calls out area because it was source to talk to KSBJ prayer volunteer to for my safe return home I was KSBJ Special events volunteer and Share-A-Thon they knew me if i emailed them or anything well long story short I lost everything my Chevy Tahoe and nearly my business nearly went bankrupt but I am fighting that I want to share more but I need to write a book I am looking for someone to tell my whole story about my life , I was in mediation and i heard a voice say Write a book . I meditate every now and then I  have found an Android app to help enter in God so close to hear loud as thunder and everything I know what his voice sounds like   ..I want to finish this up  my ending but I need to do other stuff  . well  my ending I had bitter-heart and nearly went back into the world and go back into all the wrong stuff , not drugs or anything just wrong people and everything . I tried to go back to church but it didn’t work . I ended up asking Jesus/God to break me down until the bare bone which I asked God to make life hell for me and He did because I asked  I need to be broken so I can return back back my where , I had find my bottom my valley ..well 4 months ago I am God Broke me down I had no friends and everything was hell I was broke ..no Job or computer jobs or 2nd jobs to get by ….I had one of my medications Lithium nearly kill me  . .it had poisoned my blood steam I was very sick , so sick ..after I realized it was medication I called my doctor told what was happening, throwing up ,stomach pains ,extreme migraines and it was hell . I was depressed and lonely and out of hope and grace I felt but I wasn’t God was close or nearby I didn’t see him or anything but something snapped in my brain I heard his voice say Fight for you life or Come back one of the two it isn’t your time yet I am not done with you yet i believe  . I said OK lets fight for my life and I live with my parents at 29 because I lost everything I asked my dad to take me to the  hospital he didn’t I begged and pleaded with him I was in no condition to drive to my Hospital ER in Sugar land for treatment I didn’t think of 911 and deal wit the police and EMS people and causing the whole street getting blocked off because of sickness I was dealing with   ..so I went to bed and fought my demons and sickness and asked God to help me get out of sickness I was tired of being sick for 3 to 5 months at all at once .. well I asked I asked God in my room after listening to KSBJ.org I was doing anything to try to get back to God after 2 years being in the wildness I am back to God I am getting praise and thanksgiving every second I have with God .. God and Jesus and Holy Spirit  ..I know the trinity .God is Love and God is grace and God is restore and many things ..I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.. Not by might nor by power my but my by spirit says the the lord Almighty .. I have many verses on my heart they will come to me  …. 2012 update here is my update I dated the wrong girlfriend she wasn’t Christian then i fell from grace after that months later I got Baptist at The 429 and made friends with wrong people and left church for awhile i didn’t even realize  i was blind and isolated to the point I didn’t have any friends to say ..in the process i lost everything again my grandma’s car broke down and won’t turn over and i lost my 2nd business Digitalrao Solutions . A couple days ago i went to see one of my Christian friends at her Christian resale shop called by Faith and she was in bad shape but had positive outlook on where she was going and had faith of mustard seed i see God flowing out when we were talking , she said alot of things i been dealing with myself one thing i said i had doubt , then slowly God started to turn on the heat on me to point i was crying and asking for forgiveness and then i got invited couple weeks ago before that Go back to church with old jr high school friend and God was talking to me thru sunday and service . I did fall from Grace ..i wasn’t the best example but I have turn from my old ways . Got right with him .. well to continue my story i was getting hell from church members calling my business line at the time i just was start up with Digitalrao Solutions,dba maybe my 3 year as start up and then Dealing with G-watts BBQ Pit  i was doing all kind programming and setup Comcast Business internet for him  and then they got the wrong tablet for square i told them go get ipad they did i did more programming even paid for fake charities he had too ..one time  i found the owner coming out of BBQ pit with red eyes he was doing some kind of drugs i caught him even partner too .. i asked do you gamble too then Micka forgot to pay my invoices they're protesting my invoices when i did 2 free jobs and then almost 3rd one ..then they hire a The Church volunteer member was volunteering lot with him i was made MVP once during winter times no one else couldn't handle Texas blue Norther's like me  so i was only one doing traffic and setting up stuff to get attention of drivers then i was dealing dealing FBI/CIA/NSA even caught Spy Satellite in the sky on my horizon then falling off into distance because I called Obama out on what he is doing and i said i know what your planning to do ..i think you know who i am on twitter ..so i was being then i got a call from mexican women not saying where that they're going to kidnap me this was Mexican drug cartels after me too then my dad started to get bitter about me approved for cars left and right but kicked to the road and walking took me off insurance he just had big anger issue since i was apart of GOP Harris county Liberty Freedom Caucus he refused to take me GOP events or go so they fired me  , then one of the Rosenberg Cops told me ya ur getting watched by cartels we see cars driving by i am not giving locations of cameras lol anyway then 2 days later i had panic mode fearing from everything around me that they might shoot up the place but then did something stupid ..later realized it was setting up for Success when i got to Group home my dad wouldnt let me come home , anyways i was in group home for 3 months then i didn't start to go back to Church of Living Waters until 6 or 8 th month because i was afraid of church who i would run into or accuse me again sometimes i run into accusers at Church of living waters they dont say anything to me . i am am slowly going back to Church of Living waters Darren Frank seen what i been thru sometimes i txt him too much ,  or quit  anyways , Jimn Kyles had nothing to do with me but Pastor Darren Frank took me under his wings and protected me and even prophecy saying i will have no friends ya that is where i am at now  . back the story I was going around town causing chaos when one time i went Mexican restaurant saying i did Youtube video of this place y'all are made here but they called the Police on me Kicked me out  anyways the most famous restaurant located by the place now they're up for sale   back to story i was saying Rosenberg Police Sargent called me criminal over my bipolar i finally gave up my secret i was one filing FBI IC3 reports they didn't know who it was ..then Assistant Police Chief got caught now facing charges anyways .. now i am giving member of Church of Living waters in Rosenberg ..i don’t give to buy out God i give to because i am generous giver, I got healed of Bipolar disorder in July ,2017 still going thru process dealing with Therapist and Family doctors that don't understand what happen to me . 2020 update my Pdoc at Texana took myself off Deproke , i haven’t had depression in 3 years so i am off my depression med , just taking 1 medication If Technical side like my Businesses use geektech713@gmail.com until i can buy back my domains back !  i do need money to live ...I want to  INC up ASAP  .

[harryandhishook]

Wings are made to Fly Chapter 3

Pairing: Not fully sure yet, just gonna see how it goes (Maybe Evie? Don’t know yet)

Setting: Auradon

Warning: Swearing, Harry, Coma (Badly written), Needles

Summary: Everyone knows what type of person they are, Fairy, Goblin, Dragon or just a simple person and Harry thinks he’s just a simple guy but the more he comes into contact with Auradon and magic, the more the people around him notice something off and maybe Auradon is the only place with answers

Words: 3107

Requested: Nope, me and my Fiance were roleplaying this and I thought it would be awesome to make it into a Fanfic

Side note: It’s been a while since I’ve updated this but since I don’t have a beta reader anymore, I’ve kinda felt a bit insecure about uploading it until now :D

First // Prev // Next

Several days had passed since the whole ordeal, rumours still circulated the school but mostly, it had been forgotten by everyone except for the pirates, the rotten four and the royal family. Unfortunately, the young Hook himself hadn’t woken, his room had pretty much become a hospital room by this point, drips around his bed, note pads and files scattered across the desk, sweet little gifts that had been left for him when he finally did open his eyes, no one knew exactly what would happen and the nurses who checked on him didn’t know when he would wake up but they all hoped.

The only people who knew about the wings were Max, Uma, Gil and obviously Ben, it took a lot of convincing but eventually it was decided that it would be best for the King to know sooner rather than later but they were quite reluctant for anyone else to find out … well, except for the nurses of course. The only real problem was trying to figure out what to do now, how would they tell him what happened? How would he adjust? What the hell even is happening!

Uma refused to leave Harry’s side between her new studies and actual self-care, just getting her to change and sleep was hard enough but she was eventually convinced to actually do things she needed, Ben had spent his spare time researching into Mythics and Fae, Gil tried to help but decided to just walk around the library to find books for Ben while Max continued doing his job but would keep checking in on the boy to make sure he was safe, the week had brought up not much information on pixies and Uma had made it clear to not tell anyone at this time so no one could contact Pixie Hollow for help … until now.

Ben had almost broke through the door of Harrys room to find Uma, who, once again, was sat beside the pirates bed, it had taken him a while but he had finally found information on Harry, well, it wasn’t exactly big information but it was something,

“So, you obviously know that Gil and I have been trying to figure out what is going on and even though the library is probably one of the most time wasting places for things we need, I managed to find a few books my Mom had in her library and we found a few things” he spoke without a breath as the King grabbed the chair from under the desk and placing it in front of the Pirate captain, sitting on the edge as he revealed and opened the book he had hidden inside his jacket, hundreds of little sticky notes peeking out of the pages,

“In all honesty, anything is good to hear right now, I’m sick of watching my friend like this…” she sighed, her voice monotone and quiet as she continued to watch her brunette friend sleep, waiting for the king to speak again,

“Just so you know, most of this information may not be too helpful for right now but it’s something to go off” he said as he opened the book, flicking through the pages he had bookmarked, “We might be able to find Harry’s mother through this but only if Harry wants to that is, the book says that a pixie or a fairy can only be created through two things, a babies first laugh or a pixie herself and since Harry has a Father, we can rule out him being born of a laugh” Ben explained, flicking further through the book as he skimmed the pages.

Uma had moved her gaze partially to the boy sat next to her, her head tilted to the side in partial interest as the King revealed probably not very useful things, but the pirate knew that she couldn’t be picky, anything was good,

“Can anything actually help us now or later if and when Harry wakes up?” she asked with a hint of despair in her voice. Ben could tell that she was becoming less and less hopeful that Harry would wake up, he wanted to reassure her it had only been a week but he knew she knew Harry better than anyone, he was a fighter and Uma knew that but seeing him like that was obviously taking a toll on her,

“Look, Uma, most of this stuff is about Pixies, their origins, their lives, the myths and legends around them but for this right here, for Harry’s state, we’re just going to have to wait and hope but listen to me, these things might help us, most Pixies are born with their wings but there have been a few exceptions of them that haven’t gained their wings until late or they haven’t developed right and it seems like Harry is one of them, it looks like the Isle was the reason for not giving him his wings, I don’t know what this can do to help you but Uma, he’ll be okay, he spent seventeen years in pain, this is just his body recovering, I know it’s hard, it’s hard for me to see the pirate who taunted me back on your ship for hours look so vulnerable, I want him to wake up too…” he argued, hoping to get through the her as he stood, placing the book down on the seat he was sat on before he stepped beside the teal haired girl, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, causing her to finally move her head up to gaze upon him properly, “Harry wouldn’t want to see you like this, get some sleep, I promise, he’ll be okay” he reassured, taking his large hand from her to leave, closing the door behind him.

Uma sat for a while, staring at the space Ben once was just a moment ago, the book now placed there, almost taunting her to follow the advice she had just been given. It took a while of brown eyes staring into space before Uma finally let a soft sigh escape her lips, she knew Ben was right but it was hard for her to admit it, so with a soft kiss left on Harrys forehead, she left the room to rest, she knew Harry would be fine even if she didn’t really believe it, he’d be fine.

Well, for a few hours at least.

---

It wasn’t exactly the nicest of wake-ups Harry had ever had but at least he was alive.

The pirate groaned as he felt his body come down from floating, the real world around him reappearing into existence as his brain finally restarted, giving him the energy to wake up. The young boy opened his eyes slowly, bright white was all his vision could make out for now, his body felt numb and his chest felt heavy, something in the back of his head demanding he close his eyes again, but Harry was determined to wake up.

It took a good few minutes before the hook boy managed to get his bearings, the blinding white light in his eyes eased to the simple ceiling light as he blinked away the blur of his sleep state. For a moment, nothing seemed out of the ordinary until he realized he was struggling to breathe on his own, feeling something thick in his throat pushing his lungs to expand and breathe for him causing the young pirate to panic, setting the beeping monitor beside him to beep rapidly.

What felt like hours of struggling and panicking, which was really only a few minutes, a few nurses rushed in and got to work helping the defenceless boy, assessing him, checking vitals, checking for any signs of sudden relapsing but once they were satisfied, they quickly got to work in pulling out the breathing apparatus, talking him through how to get back into control of breathing for himself, making sure his brain can respond to everything, it was all so much to take in but after a few hours of talking, more assessments and helping the boy regain full consciousness again, they finally called for Max to get the King and his friends down.

(A/N: I know nothing about Comas and the affects apart from the small things I researched so please be aware that I probably have everything wrong :D )

Harry slowly found the energy to pull himself up into a sitting position, groaning at every ache and pain in his body, everything around him felt slow and dragged out, voices quite distorted and murmured while his brain tried it’s hardest to put every little bit of information it was receiving into one form, there was so much happening, so many things, so much to take in but when his back hit the headboard of his bed all functions stopped as his brain focused onto one thing and one thing alone.

Harry slowly turned his head to peek over his shoulder, only one things was on his mind now, every other bit of noise and movement was frozen around him as he eyes gazed upon one large, pure white, sparkly wing slightly twitching behind him causing him to let out a yell of surprise and shuffle away from it quickly, only to see it was following. The pirate turned his head every direction he could do to try and see the new appendages on his body, jumping up from the bed with incredible force as he spun in circles, trying to evaluate what the hell he was seeing. With as raspy and weak voice, he finally spoke,

“What … is this?!” he demanded, well, it wasn’t much of a demand since his voice sounded like a that of a five year old trying to be angry but can’t control his emotions properly.

Looking towards the doorway of his room, he could see the little corrugation of his friends, Max and the nurses staring at him, none of them dared to speak, all of them held the expression of concern and pity, the boy was going through so many emotions and none of them good for his current state of mind, unfortunately, none of them had to speak as Harry spotted the book Ben had once been holding earlier still sat on the chair in plain sight, giving the pirate all the answers he needed,

“I-I’m a … pixie? But … I can’t be … that’s not … possible” the boy argued breathlessly to no one in particular, everything in him screamed for answers but his legs screamed for rest as he tumbled forward, catching himself on the edge of his bed, his breathing quick and raspy making Uma rush to his side, placing her hands on his body to ease him back into Bed,

“Harry, I understand this is going to be crazy for you, I mean, you’ve literally just woke up so you’re probably in a lot of pain and shock but please, you need to remain calm for us … Can you do that?” she asked calmly as the boy leaned back against the headboard, his wings sliding against the wood, separating out and barely causing much bother for him. Harry sighed as his eye flickered from the pure clear wings to Uma’s face, nodding slowly in recognition of understanding. Uma shuffled to sit on the edge of the bed, her body twisted to face the Pirate better as she thought for a moment, getting through this would be so hard for him, not to mention he would have to go through physio therapy to make sure he can actually move the wings and not cause damage. The Captain let out a deep breath she had not realized she was holding before speaking again to her friend, “I guess, I might as well ask you what you want to know, it will be easier to get everything explained to you”

A few hours passed as they all sat around the Pirates bed, explaining everything that knew, the nurses checking him over every so often and getting him food and water. So far, everything he wanted to know had been answered and other things had been explained, including the little plan of keep it secret until Harry could decide where to go from there,

“So, let me get this completely straight, I’ve always been a pixie but my wings didn’t grow out when I was born but because I was thrown onto a land without magic, my wings didn’t have enough energy to escape my body and the longer it was held off, the more dangerous it was gettin’ for me to live … Right, well then, I only have one more question … HOW THE FUCK AM I A PIXIE?!” Harry screamed as he stared at them all, only receiving shrugs from the lot of them, making him groan, looking down to the hands that laid in his lap. Ben, who Harry had only just really noticed being there, moved closer to speak,

“If you will allow us, I will contact Pixie Hollow, talk to them and see if they can send someone here to help, as much as we have researched and theorized, we can provide you with some things but a Pixie can give you much more, they know the history, the workings of a Pixie, maybe even have archive on Pixie births, find the reason why you are what you are … but we will only do it with your permission” his voice strong and powerful like a kings but Harry could hear the worried tone of a friend behind all that status. The Pirate thought for a moment before finally meeting the gaze of the King, nodding his head to allow him to continue but quickly added one condition onto the task,

“Apart from everyone in this room and the Pixie Queen, no one is to know about this, I don’t want to be the talk of the kingdoms, I want to hide this for as long as I can, tell everyone that … I’m recovering fine but no one is permitted to see me … got it?” he finished, his voice soft but assertive, Ben could understand, he was still a teenager at heart, no amount of royal blood would change that. The King nodded quickly, placing his hand on Harry shoulder in a reassuring gesture as he smiled sweetly to his friend,

“I promise, no one will know if you don’t want them, since your coat is so long, it should be too hard to hide them but don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything” once that was said, the King was gone, leaving the others to sit in silence for a while.

One by one, each person left, eventually leaving Harry on his own, even after Uma had try to persuade him to let her stay, he managed to convince her to get some rest, leaving him to stare aimlessly out of his bedroom window, so many things went through his head, so many questions, so many possibilities, his own body felt so foreign to him and he couldn’t understand why, okay, he didn’t now have wings that he never once knew about or even thought possible but nothing else was different, he was still Harry … wasn’t he.

The young Pirate sighed as he slowly slipped his legs off the side of the bed, letting them dangle for a moment before shuffling further to the edge, letting his bare feet land on the carpeted floor, taking in the warm feeling of the soft fibres, something he had never experienced before. Carefully he stood, keeping a hand rested on the bed as he wobbled, legs fighting against him but he didn’t stop. Reaching to the side, he grabbed the metal wheelie stand of the IV, pulling it along with him to stop the tug of the needles that were placed once again in his body.

Slowly, Harry trudged towards the large bay window, facing out over the waters and to the view of the Isle, stopping to stand, staring for a while before he finally found the energy to sit on the small bench pressed against the light cream walls. It was the first time Harry really saw what the Isle looked like, it was the first time he slightly felt safe from the uproar of gangs and thieves, it did look like the definition of hell and villainy combined, perfect for all the pain their parents caused … Harry stopped himself from thinking, knowing his mind would continue, he had no room to think about the punishment of the parents, no room at all.

So Harry just sat, unmoving, unthinking, complete silence as he stared out to his old home. It took him a few hours before he finally shook himself out of this trance he had put himself in, frowning at the strange feeling of sinking in his chest, it was all too much for his heart, leaving his home, the pain he had felt through it all … maybe, just maybe, he could restart, he could do better, he could …

Harry shook himself again, those feelings were back,

‘What the hell is going on with me’ the pirate thought, turning to look into the large empty room around him, this was too much, all of this, it was too much to take in for one night.

Harry rose from his seat with a groan, gripping onto the metal stand for support, his body once again fighting against him. The teen sighed as he turned one last look at the window, spotting the little twinkle of his reflection, his new features fluttering slightly behind him, pure white and definitely not his colour. Harry chuckled as he thought about the mismatched colour of his aesthetic but brushed it off to stand completely straight, gazing over his reflection as he inhaled deeply, his wings spreading slowly out behind him until they were completely stretched, revealing the complete size of them against his body, he had never actually realized just how large pixie wings are compared to his body.

The pirate closed his eyes, concentrating as his chest slowly rose and fell, his breathing calm and his body relaxed, the soft sound of wings fluttering delicately behind him, he tried everything in his power not to groan from the pain of exerting himself but something possessed him to cautiously move his wings faster, the last thing he could truly feel around him was the soft material under his feet disappear as he rose into the air.

---

Taglist

@descendantofthesparrow

[neo-culture-mafia]

我想重做生活

黄仁俊 황인준 Huang Renjun

If there was one thing I could do without consequence, it would be to restart my life with all the people I knew now. My adrenaline and heart rate have been messed up since I was a little kid because of the pent-up anger and frustration always coursing through my veins. Yet, I feel as if I deserve this and I was meant to live this messed up, hurtful, and pitiful life. I wouldn’t even wish the amount of self-hate I have for myself on any other human being. It isn’t fair but that was my whole life basically. Nothing was fair. Not even things that were deemed fair. This was all just a stupid pre-determined system...all a setup for a plan that would never work out and crumble to pieces eventually. 

“I’m everything I hate.” I muttered to myself. “Hm?” Jeno asked, looking through the papers Mark had left. “What?” I asked in return, not knowing that my friend brother could hear me. He only looked for a moment, before returning to the stack of papers. “Did you say something? It sounded like you said something.” He replied while flipping through the papers like he missed something the first 1 million times. 

“Uh...nothing.” I shook my head, my hair grazing my forehead and tickling above my eyebrows. “I...I’m gonna text y/n,” I said getting up, grabbing my cracked phone and walking out the door. Chenle called for me, as he was tossing from sleep, but my feet carried me out of the cramped apartment that was falling apart at its seams, and out onto the fire escape that would eventually lead me to the rooftop. 

If it only had been Jacob’s Ladder and had taken me us away to a promised land where none of us were hungry and wondering when we wouldn’t sleep in a cramped bed anymore. Where real Chinese food lingered among long tables of mahogany, with seats for everyone I loved. Where I could sit and draw for hours with the only thing that would stop me was snack time. Where there were no drills, or debriefing meetings, or no punishments for messing up a mission...no paralyzing guilt for doing my job.

I realized I had climbed the whole way when I was balancing on the last rung. I hopped down onto a sturdier roof and sauntered my way over to the usual spot I sat. My sketchbook along with a Chinese Fortune quote book that Sicheng had gotten me years ago. 

My bottom hit the beach chair I kept up here, and I immediately look into the sky for an answer...for what I do not know...but something. Finding nothing that stands out, I reach my hand lazily to the quote book. I closed my eyes, flipped to a random page, put my finger on the page and opened my eyes to my fortune. “It is sad for those who don’t sleep, that they start living their reality like a dream.” I read and thought about it. “I mean...I guess.” I said and flung the book back onto the ground. “I would have rather read something about aliens.” I yawned and brought an arm behind my head and one leg crossed the other. 

“These days it’s easier to believe in aliens more than a god.” I whispered to my self and shook the thought from my head. “Time to see what bunny is doing.” I craned my neck forward to see my phone screen that was cracked from numerous times of dropping it. 

Pulling up her contact seemed foreign for some reason. As if she was becoming a stranger in my own heart even though that would never be possible. “Did you get home safe?” Was all I could ask. Even though seeing the ‘Read’ sign, I was anticipating her answer. “Mark walked me.” Was the only thing that she said. 

“Well duh, she got home safe.” I hit myself upside the head gently. Even though she didn’t tell me straight away, I knew she was hurting. This was such a routine now. She would go back ‘home’ and be a mess for a little while after. 

“Shit, really?” I asked and she was quick with her responses. 

“Yeah. I wish you were here. Like, so fucking much, Renjun.” 

My heart felt like it was breaking into a million little pieces at one time. I was always there by her side, and now from this separation, we can’t even chill like we used to; and even though she acts like she’s strong, I see her. I see the dark circles under her eyes. I see the uncried tears she is holding inside. I see the need to have us around her because she is scared she’s not strong enough. But, she’s one of the strongest people we know. 

“Me too.” Was all I could think of typing back. I didn’t know what to say to her. Of course, my brotherly love for her was great and almost suffocating for her at some times; but right now I didn’t know what to say or how to express I was with her and that everything was going to be okay.

“Just look for me in the stars. I promise you’ll find me there.” 

I didn’t know that I was actually waiting for her to respond till I noticed she wasn’t responding. She read it, but the familiar bubbles didn’t pop up to say she had something to tell me again. 

I turned my phone off, looking into the sky. I heard my phone fall from the small chair and I groaned. “More cracks.” I rolled my eyes and yawned. Removing my hat, I set it on my lap and reclined more so I was laying down. The sky was my movie as I watched the stars. 

I tried to trace my fate with my fingers; playing with the balls of gas and light at my fingertips. I made countless shapes with my burning friends that never left my side. 

I didn’t realize I was growing sleepy as I felt my heart calm to a steady beat. My anger being suppressed was an amazing feeling; as if I was on cloud 9.

“Who are you?” I asked, looking between the 2 people who visited. “Honey...It’s mama...and baba.” The woman grabbed my arm, pulling me forward into a hug. My tiny 10-year-old body didn’t know how to process this information being thrown at me so suddenly. “What?” Was all I could ask as she just looked at me with a sad look. 

“Do you not remember me?” She ran her fingers through my hair. “No.” Was all I could think of and say as my vision began to go red. “No.” I swatted her hand away and removed the other death grip from my arm while chanting, “No. No. No.” She became sad as tears welled her eyed. “Renjun. Baby. Don’t be mean.” She grabbed me again, but the orphanage worker just stayed out of it. 

“No. Get off of me!” I yelled pushing her off of me. She wept into my ‘dad’s’ arms. “He’s changed.” She kept crying. Yet, even with my fingernails digging crevices into my palm; I couldn’t suppress my anger. The two familiar strangers just stared at me in horror as my chest became ragged with puffs of air. 

“Leave.” I bellowed and they looked at me in horror. “We don’t want to. We still love you...we’re ready now.” They called, trying to come closer. “Liars!” I screamed and ended up flipping the small table meant for younger children. I kicked the stupid plastic chair that I was forced to sit in before these people walked in and demanded me to love them. 

“You don’t! You left me!” I screamed, making a mess in the room. “Code red. Huang Renjun. Code red. Huang Renjun.” The orphanage worker called and the two foreign feeling parents cried for at me. They didn’t care. I was just someone they dropped and decided to pick up when it was convenient for them. “Liars!” I screamed as other workers picked me up. “I hate you! Liars! I hate you!” I sobbed and screamed as the men dragged me out of the visiting room. 

“Lia-”

I jump up from the beach chair with cold water splashed on me. I looked around and saw the day has already begun without me. The sun was shining and people walked around happily in the streets below...totally carrying on with their life even if mine was completely over. 

“Earth to sleeping beauty.” I see Jaemin. He stood there with the usual cigarette falling in between his lips that held the usual smirk. I looked for my phone, and once found, I sighed as the charging symbol showed up onto the black screen. 

“What the hell? You couldn’t just nudge me awake?” I said pushing his shoulder roughly. “What’s the fun in that?” He chuckled, taking the cigarette and smashing it between his shoe and the ground. We stood there for a moment, as he blew the smoke in my face. I rolled my eyes at the absurd action and fanned the smoke away. 

“What do you want from me? Besides ruining my peaceful sleep?” I asked him and he shrugged. “Chenle was calling for you last night, and no one could find you. Mark came back and something happened I guess.” Jaemin shrugged and he could tell my heart began racing. “Don’t worry. Y/n is fine...we all reacted the same way.” Jaemin understood. 

I nodded at his comforting words, wiping the water from my hair and taking a breath of relief. “Okay well, I’m glad she is oka-” “But she showed up this morning and is downstairs crying.” Jaemin finished. 

Renjun felt the anger boil inside of him once more. “You could’ve said that first you dumbass.” Renjun hit Jae upside the head, a little not so lightly. 

I took my phone and hat, running down the small and narrow steps to get down to the apartment. Jaemin was hot on my heels as I swung the front door open to see y/n in tears. 

She slowly looks at me from where Jisung is comforting her on the couch. She hiccuped at my presence but couldn’t move. The bags under her eyes are present more than ever, the redness on her skin making us all worried, and the big eyes we all knew and loved were now big in fear and wet with tears. 

“They’re coming.”

← Previous chapter  & Next chapter  →

[littleliv1]

39’- Brian May One Shot

A/n: a new series I’m starting y’all. It’s going to be in this type of format, I’ll figure out a way to post all of the stories in this series. I worked really hard on this so I really really hope you guys enjoy! Let me know what other songs I should do this with! Much love<3

WC: 2.4k

Summary: Earth is dying. And Brian takes the opportunity to help try to save you and his now growing family.

Warnings: it’s real sad ngl. Contains suicide, so please if that triggers you, don’t read!

The year was 2238. Earth was dying, and it was inevitable. The air was unbearably hot and sticky. The last clear sky was recorded in the 2100s. There are records from hundreds of years ago where kids got out of school for snow, something kids nowadays only read about. They could never imagine it. They got out of school for things like if the temperature was over 50°C, even then, you never missed a day of school. Not after the newly designed school head set. Sick? Put it on and enjoy your day at school. Heat day? Even teachers had one.

In 2200, the government in nearly all countries had failed. The world leaders came together to creat the SSA; the Synchronized Settlement Act. From then on, the world wasn't split into countries. It was one, though physically separated, everyone was one. The Earth was labeled by direction.

You had married the love of your life, Brian May in 2330. Every couple was allowed one child, due to over population. You and Brian decided to wait as long as you could to have the child, especially with the rumors of a newly born world that was possibly near. Alas, those were only but rumors. With Brian's musical talent and his knowledge of space, he had scored you all a nice shack on the beach. It was small, but nicer than most of the southern homes.

This night, you were sitting on the beach, looking at the cloudy sunset. You were surrounded by trash, and the ocean was black is was so dirty. But you were used to it. You all were. Your thoughts were interrupted by a body sitting close to you. You could tell it was Brian by the shadow. "Doing what you do best," He stated, sitting next to you. "And what's that?" You asked, looking over to him. He smiled, pushing your hair behind your ear. "Looking absolutely breath taking. Looks like tonight is clearer than most nights, that's good," He said, pointing out to the coast. You nodded your head disappointingly. "Yeah, I only wish I could see a real sunset. I read once that people used to see the sun, and it wasn't just a mush of colors." You said. He pressed his hand against your neck, rubbing it slightly. "I know, my love," he whispered to you. It absolutely killed him how much he could see you hurt when you talked about how the way things used to be. "I come with good news and bad news," He said, wrapping his hand around yours. You smiled. "I could use some good news." He smiled back, showing his perfect teeth. "The newly born world is real, and they leave to find it in ten months," you smiled so wide, you had never been so happy, besides your wedding day. "Oh Brian! That's fantastic! How could that ever have something bad?" You said, hugging him. "Well, they asked for volunteers, preferably ones with knowledge of space," he quietly spoke. Your heart sank, as did your arm that had been resting on his shoulder. "And, you volunteered?" You asked, your face flushing from the sadness. And he nodded.

A few months had gone by, and it was months full of fun, crying, and passionate love making. On this particular night, you had been feeling weird for the last few months, so you went to the doctor while Brian was away at training. You find out that you're four months pregnant. You sat in your car crying for hours. You couldn't tell if it was out of the happiness that you'd have a part of Brian with you while he was gone, or sad because you'd have to do this alone. Once you returned home, you found Brian at the table reading a book about space. He looked up at you to smile, taking a second before noticing your tear stained eyes. "My love, what's wrong?" He said, pulling himself up and hugging you. "Bri, I'm," you started, unable to find the words to finish. So you showed him the paper work. "You're pregnant," he stated, you nodding your head in response. He hugged you tightly, and you couldn't help but to sob in his chest.

In the year of 39' assembled here the volunteers, in the days when the lands were few

The day he was to leave finally arrived. They were together, holding each other for what felt like hours. He pulled back, holding your left hand. “This ring binds us. And it will for as long as we will,” he said, kissing your hand. “When you wear it, look at the sky and close your eyes. You’ll know what I mean soon,” he continued.

Here the ship sailed out, into the blue and sunny mourn, sweetest sight ever seen.

Your moment was interrupted by someone yelling that it was time to leave. He grabbed your face and kissed you for as long as he possibly could. “I love you Brian Harold May!” You yelled as he was being forced into the rocket. “I love you too (y/f/n)!” His muffled voice yelled. Within an hour, the rocket was gone and had taken off.

That was the loneliest night of your life. You laid there, looking at his side of the bed. You vowed that never in your life for as long as you live, no one, not even you, will lay there. You looked at your wedding band, remembering what he said. You got out of bed, your feet hitting the cold floor, and walked to the front porch. You saw the silhouette of the moon, but you could tell it was full. You closed your eyes and did everything you could to feel him.

And the night followed day, and the story tellers say, that the score Brave Souls inside,

6 months had passed and your baby was born. You birthed a beautiful baby boy, who you named Brian Harold May Jr., Harry for short. Harry was only a few weeks old. One the media, they name the volunteers the Brave Souls.

For a many lonely day, sailed across the milky sea, ne’er looked back, never feared, never cried.

A year had passed. They had very little contact with the volunteers, at this point they could only receive messages. But, the Brave Souls, as their name implies, they were brave. Strong. Not one wanted to turn around. They weren’t afraid. They wanted to fix the mess that the past had made, and restart for their families. Even though they so dearly missed them.

Don’t you hear my call? Though you’re many years away, don’t you hear me calling you?

It’s been five years since the volunteers left. You began to question when they will return. Harry was turning five in a few weeks, and for his present he wants his daddy. It broke your heart. At night, after you had your dinner, washed up your son, and put him to bed, you’d spend your nights out side looking at the sky. You began to feel his longing for you, you felt it at first in your stomach, the same warm feeling he gave you, but as time went on, you felt it in your head, then your heart. You knew he was calling for you. And you called for him.

He could feel it, too. As he looked out of the window, he held his wedding band, closed his eyes, and focused on you. They had been gone for a few weeks now, and man did he miss you.

Write your letters in the sand, for the day I take your hand, in the land that our grandchildren knew.

Harry was ten years old. It had been ten years since you’d seen Brian. You were close to loosing hope that he was still alive, but you wrote him letters every night. Every night for ten years, not to mention the ones Harry wrote when he started to write. You all glued and pasted them to pages in a scrap book for his return, waiting patiently for him.

Harry wrote about how he wants to meet his daddy. You and he watched the news together, looking at the group picture that the Brave Souls took. You always pointed Brian out. “There’s daddy,” you’d say, holding your child. At night, you always looked towards his side of the bed. You hadn’t kissed, slept with, or even touched another man that wasn’t your son. His side of the bed had gone untouched for ten years. Harry liked to draw pictures of space, he’d show his friends at school. Only they weren’t his friends. He had come home with a black eye one day, they had teased him mercilessly that his dad was dead and that he should just face it. That was the last time you sent him away.

You home schooled him for the remainder of his school years.

Many many years had passed, and you had to face the fact that you may never see Brian again. You were old. You were dying. You were at the age of 65 when you were old you had cancer, it was at stage two and spreading fast. But you fought for 20 more years. Harry was 58, with a child of his own, and she with a child of her own. Harry’s wife died at child birth. His daughter was in her 30s, her daughter was almost 9. You adored your grandchild and your great grandchild. Soon, at the age of 89, you passed away peacefully.

Harry was devastated over your death. He lost his wife, Emily, when she had Aliyah. All he had was his daughter and his grandchild, Millie. Aliyah and Millie took care of him. He told them the stories of his father, Brian Harold May Senior. Millie loved the stories. He showed the girls the notes you and he wrote together, it always brought Aliyah to tears.

40 years later, Harry is 98. He’s getting older, and he can feel his body giving out. Aliyah is in her 70s, Millie is in her 40s with a son of her own who is 18 and expecting. The story’s of yours and Brian’s love never once left the family line, each new generation swearing to give it to Brian if the day ever came. Harry died at 100, one of the eldest men to have lived in the south side. Brian’s

In the year of 39’ came the ship in from the blue, the volunteers came home that day.

The family titled the book of letters you and Harry wrote ‘The Book of Love’. It was now in possession of his great great great grandson, Brian Harold May III. On a cold, September morning, their favorite show, The Moonies, was interrupted. “Damnit! I want to see what happens to Jill! What is this shit?” Millie said, angrily. She was visiting Harold was and his pregnant wife. Aliyah died in a plane crash a few months back. Harold was adding to the Book of Love, when he heard Millie shouting. “Mum, what is it?” He asked. He looked at her with a gaping mouth. “They-they’re-“ She started, standing to her feet as Harold realized what was happening. “They’re home,” he whispered. “Janet! Janet! They’re home! They’re home!” He said, shouting to his wife, now 7 months pregnant. “That’s great love! Go! Go meet him!” She said, kissing him deeply.

They went to the launching pad where they could meet Brian May Senior for the first time. They had a sign with his name on it. The door opened, to only six men. “I thought 16 had left?” Janet whispered to Harold. “No, yeah, 16. But there’s only six,” He said back. They were welcomed with applause. The captain of the ship came and took ahold of the microphone.

And they bring good news, of a world so newly. Though their hearts so heavily weighed.

“Greetings, friends and family. We thank you for this amazing greeting.” He started. The year was 2339. It had been 100 years since they left. “It’s been a long, hard few month, but we are glad to be home at last.” He spoke his words slowly, but everyone knew it was no few short months. A few hours later, they were released to be with their family. Brian found the family, with his name on the sign. “Brian May?” Harold said, look up at the tall man. He nodded his head. Brian just wanted to see you, though you had been dead for quite sometime now. They figured he would have known that by now. They greeted him with wonderful gifts, foods, everything. “My my, this is all so wonderful, but I’d like to see my wife, (y/n). She should be a few months pregnant, maybe 8 or 9 months?” He said. Harold and Millie looked at each other, sadness filled their eyes. “Come home with us, will get everything sorted out there,” Millie said, quietly. He nodded.

For the earth is old and grey, little darling well away. But my love this cannot be!

As they entered the house, Harold ran to get the book, sitting Brian down at a chair. Over the many years of its existence, it was filled of pictures from previous generations. “I don’t know how to tell you this, so here,” Millie said, handing him the book. “It’s from (y/n). She and her son Harry made this for you before they,” she paused looking down. Brian looked up at them, smiling. “What on earth are you talking about, who’s Harry?” He said. He opened the book, seeing all of the letter you and Harry had written to him. He was quite confused. “I don’t, I don’t understand. These are dated 20, 30, 40 years from now? I’ve only been gone a few months,” he said, looking over the dates. “Oh dear,” Janet said. Everyone looked at him in sorrow. “It’s the year ‘39, 2239, correct?” He said, failing faster through the pages, as he got to the family tree with dates. They were birth and death dates. “‘M afraid not, it’s 2339,” Millie said, holding his hand, trying to calm him. He started to panic as he saw your name.

(Y/f/n)-May: Born 2208-2297

“Oh, God, no,” he whispered. He gently ran his finger over the picture of you and Harry when he was 7.

For so many years are gone, though I’m older but a year, your mothers eyes from your eyes, cry to me.

Brian locked himself in his old bedroom for 3 weeks, reading all of your letters. And then rereading them, taking in all of the pictures that they gave to him. You made it a point to take plenty of pictures of Harry while he was a child, at his wedding, with his first born. Brian was too sad to cry. He only ate once a week, and they were a few crackers. Depressed was an understatement of the way he truly felt.

Don’t you hear my call? Though you’re many years away, don’t you hear me calling you. Write your letters in the sand, for the day I take your hand, in the land that our grandchildren knew.

It had been a month since he got home, and he hadn’t spoken more than a few sentences to anyone. He laid in bed at night, staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t handle it anymore. The sadness he felt.

He grabbed a case, and went to the beach. The same beach you two sat on, 100 years ago. Even though his entire line of family was promised a spot in the newly born world, as was he, he didn’t want it if it weren’t with you. He didn’t want any life without you. He opened the case, and pulled out a gun.

“Brian Harold My Senior took his life in 2339 due to grief of his lost wife, (y/n) May. Loving husband, father, along with many generations of life. Rest easy, Brave Soul.” His tombstone read. His family was heart broken for him. They wished that they could have gotten to know him, but they understood why that couldn’t happen. He didn’t belong here.

Don’t you hear my call, though you’re many years away, don’t you hear me calling you? All your letter in the sand, cannot heal my like your hand, for my life, still ahead, pity me.

In the distance of the sunset funeral, you could see Brian watching from afar. You approach him, taking his hand in yours. He could be shocked, but he knows it’s you. He turns to face you, taking in the same beautiful face that said her goodbyes too soon. “My love,” He said, resting his forehead into yours. “Together at last,” you replied, smiling. A single tear rolled down his face. “There’s no life I would want to live if it meant I couldn’t see you,” He said. You kissed him once more, deepening the kiss. “Would you like to meet your son?” You asked him. He nodded smiling. “You can meet him, if you’re ready,” you said, holding his hand. He nodded his head again. You both knew you mean if he was ready to cross over and be with you and your all’s child again. You smiled again, walking towards the sky, the clouds seeming to part for the two of you.

Millie, Harold, Janet, and Harold’s new daughter looked up. “To the most beautiful love story anyone will ever know,” Harold said, Brian forever resting next to you underneath a tree.

[kriskebob-blog]

Day 1, Part 1: Me vs. the grocery store

Hi again. It was really nice to hear from some of my friends and family in response to my post last night! I’m really excited to know that some people are down to read my long-ass posts about plants. I’ve also had several people offer me cookbook suggestions or even offer to have me plunder their own stash. Thanks for being my enablers, guys! (No seriously, thank you, I love you all sm.) Also, I can now reveal that my grandma texted me this morning to confirm she did indeed read my first post to its end. She’s the best!!!! This blog is rapidly evolving into a dual-purpose food/my grandma fan page and I can’t be sorry for it. 

So it’s Friday afternoon as I write this but the day I’ll be writing about is actually Wednesday. Can you tell it took me a little while to get going with the actual blogging part of this project? Anywho, I woke up Wednesday and after taking some time to wake up with a coffee, I flipped open my shiny new How Not to Die cookbook to the pages with the 2-week meal plan. I scanned the lists of recipes, already nervous. There were so many listed for every single day. I’m used to preparing dinner each night and eating leftovers for my lunches. For years my tried-and-true breakfast almost every single day has been two hard-boiled eggs and a piece of toast. So I’m really only used to having to prepare a fully involved meal once a day. You wanted to do this, I reminded myself. You have the summer off. You have the time! Trying to calm my nerves, I opened up the notes app on my laptop and began typing the names of the suggested recipes. There are no page numbers referenced on the meal plan pages, which would have made things a lot easier, just sayin’, Dr. Greger! I found the recipes and opened the grocery list Google Doc I’ve shared with my husband since we moved in together. I started typing up a shopping list. 

This was more than 48 hours ago at this point, but luckily I did stop to write down some initial thoughts. I shall share them with you now, verbatim: 

How the f@#! am I going to buy everything we need for all this? How will it fit in my fridge? Will I spend literally all day prepping all of this? Am I even going to be able to find everything I need for these recipes? 

...

16 recipes compared to my normal 4, MAYBE 5. Eating this way is obviously the vanity project of the wealthy wtf

...

It’s only two weeks. I can spend 2374623645 dollars on food for just half a month right? right?? It’s normal to spend money on hobbies? Gah

...

What the hell is date sugar?

...

I am definitely using vanilla extract instead of buying a giant vanilla bean Fresh turmeric? Where would even sell that? Ground sounds just fine to me

I noted that I began this process at 8:55. At 9:21 I wrote:

I give up… because I can already tell I’m going to be buying WAY too much produce to fit into my crisper drawer. The original plan had been to stock up enough stuff to carry me through until Monday but I can see now that’s just not going to be realistic at all. I’ll stock up on enough stuff to get me through to Friday night. I don’t want to grocery shop on the weekend if I can help it. I’ll just go again on Friday. Then I’ll probably have to go again on Monday, maybe Tuesday if I’m lucky. That’ll be three grocery store stock-ups in one week. I wanted a hobby, didn’t I?? Time to go back and redo my list to only reflect recipes for the next three days then.

I put a break in my recipes list. Alright. That brings me from 16 recipes to 8. Feels much more manageable. I look at the huge list of ingredients I amassed on my Google doc and decide it’d be easier to just delete it and restart from scratch than go through and try to remember what I now do and don’t need. 9:30.

9:45 - done. Still a LONG list. This is only for 2 days plus a dinner. But to be fair I did include stuff for a couple of desserts.

I’m a tad concerned by how none of these recipes call for ANY salt.

I was more than a tad concerned, actually. But I had my mission lined out. It was time to head to Big Y. 

Of the common local grocery store chains in Connecticut, Big Y is probably the nicest one. My husband and I used to frequent Stop & Shop but we stopped because the produce kind of sucked and anyhow the set-up of Big Y is a lot more appealing. I drove on over to the Ellington Big Y, hopeful that I’d be able to find the majority of the items I needed, but also aware that I’d probably end up at Whole Foods later that day. 

I’d been so focused on getting together my massive shopping list and hustling out to the store that I hadn’t attended to my basic personal needs with as much care as usual. I realized two things almost immediately as I crossed the parking lot: I kinda had to pee, and I was also sort of thirsty/hungry. Should I get a lemonade or something from the cafe? I wondered briefly then decided against it. I’d be fine til I got home, surely. 

Needless to say, I spent a lot of time in the produce section. I bagged up two heads of lettuce and an even bigger head of red kale. I bought the biggest container of baby spinach they had and then also the biggest bag of regular spinach. Cilantro and parsley. Scallions. And that was just from the greens section! I was already tired by the time I got to the natural foods section, and I had only shopped for stuff whose location I already knew. 

I spent some time figuring out which seeds/nuts I needed that Big Y sold by the weight. It’s a really convenient and cool system, except the stupid sticker-printing machine is sort of finicky. I must have spent a solid ten minutes before I had the correct amount of almonds, cashews, pumpkin seeds, etc. Okay. Now I needed to look for some stuff that I genuinely had no idea where exactly it might be. I knew they likely were somewhere in this natural foods section, I just didn’t know where. Stuff like hemp hearts and nutritional yeast (sounded gross but it was called for in quite a few recipes). I found them eventually. Cool. Now I needed canned tomatoes and beans, but Dr. Gregor really wanted me to be sure I bought cans without a BPA liner. Seriously? Was that really going to be the thing that would make or break if I lived to see 100? But I didn’t want to half-ass the Dr. Gregor lifestyle. It was only for two weeks, after all. After way too much time studying the shelves of tomatoes and beans, I ended up with two cans of diced tomato that cost twice as much as the brand I normally purchased... and the same exact generic brand of beans I normally went for, because none of the beans at Big Y seemed to be BPA free. Whatever. I was hungrier and grumpier by the minute. I wanted to stuff something into my mouth full of sugar and gluten and whatever other chemicals were out to kill me, stat. Almost done. Just had to find frozen okra (vegan gumbo, y’all! Stay tuned), and also miso. I wasn’t too worried about the miso. Big Y has a decent Asian foods aisle... one that I paced up and down at least four times before accepting that they didn’t seem to have miso. They also didn’t have date sugar, a key ingredient to a no-bake brownies recipe I wanted to try. I have a major sweet tooth (can you tell?) and the idea of two weeks without chocolate bars or ice cream was something I refused to entertain without some sort of chocolate dessert option. Okay. No miso, no date sugar. I also hadn’t been able to find “whole wheat tortillas - no salt added” anywhere in the store. So, I’d be going to Whole Foods. I had figured as much. 

I checked out with a whopper of a bill and tried not to die too much inside at the fact that this was only two and a half day’s worth of groceries. After all, I had needed to stock up on several crunchy hippie type pantry items I hadn’t already owned. Thank god I already had a pretty sizable spice collection or my bill would have been even higher. I tried not to think of how this wasn’t even everything on my list. Not only did I still need to go to Whole Foods, but I needed to go to the farm stand. 

Shout-out to Johnny Appleseed’s Farm in Ellington. Sam and I love them, and they love us back! Okay, they love Sam back because he told them once that he had gone onto Google and fixed an incorrect listing stating they were permanently closed. They really love Sam for that. They have no idea who I am unless I walk in with him. But that’s okay. Every late July through October, Sam and I buy as much of our produce as possible from Johnny Appleseed’s. I stopped over there to load up on tomatoes, onions, peppers, carrots, and an ungodly amount of zucchini. The woman ringing me out seemed amused. “Lots of squash,” she commented. “What’re you cooking?” I stared at her, trying to remember. The recipe planning I’d done only a couple hours ago already seemed such a blur. “Zoodles,” I managed finally. “You know, like when you try to pretend you’re eating pasta but it’s actually vegetables?” She chuckled and nodded. “You make your own sauce from scratch too?” “Usually,” I told her, feeling a sudden pang of longing for a nice meaty bolognese. Wow, I really wasn’t going to be cut out for this meatless life for long. I told her goodbye and got into my car. It was sweltering outside and 10x worse inside my black interior car. I now definitely needed to pee and I was starving. Home couldn’t come fast enough. 

Of course, before I could eat my lunch I had to go through the battle of trying to fit all of this produce into my refrigerator. Even with the clearing out of the usual cartons of eggs and older produce that I’d tossed earlier that morning, it was definitely a game of Tetris trying to fit all of the extremely perishable items I’d just purchased into my fridge. I didn’t even entertain the thought of trying to fit all the vegetables in the crisper. Just to fit them in the fridge itself was an accomplishment. Thank god I hadn’t been quite stupid enough to try to buy enough groceries to last us through Monday. Dear lord, I was really going to have to go back in two days and do this again? You chose this, you chose this I sang to myself repeatedly in my head as I grabbed the container of my last non-vegan meal for two weeks: zucchini turkey meatballs, romano cheese, and marinara sauce over spaghetti. It was damned good. This is still healthy, isn’t it? Do I definitely have to give up cheese, Dr. Gregor? 

Now came the time for my final real dessert of the next two weeks. Something I end up binging on far too often when Sam leaves me at home unsupervised for too long: Aurora honey nut granola with chocolate chips mixed in. It’s so good!!! And I definitely went especially overboard that day knowing it was my last sugar binge for awhile. 

Alright. It was time to head to Whole Foods. The closest one to me is in Glastonbury and a solid 25 minute drive away. The air felt heavy and oppressive as I headed out into the heat. Ominous dark clouds hung low in the sky. I could feel the nasty air pressure in the depths of my sinuses. Blah. Almost done, I told myself. The parking lot at Whole Foods was mobbed. Why are so many people out on a random Wednesday afternoon, I grumped to myself as I narrowly avoided running over a perfectly nice young family (sorry, strangers!!) and found myself a spot. I walked inside and immediately started rubbing my arms up and down. It was freezing. One thing I love about Big Y is that they keep a lot of their refrigerated items behind doors. I forget how cold other grocery stores are. 

I don’t go to Whole Foods very often. I knew where the ethnic condiments were but had no clue where I might find “whole wheat tortillas, no salt added.” I wandered the entire length of the store twice over and finally found a small selection. They really didn’t have much to offer in the way of wraps. Too many carbs for the Whole Foods shopping crowd, I guess? I settled for normal whole wheat tortillas that did indeed have salt as an ingredient. What do you want me to do, Dr. Gregor? I’m only one person. I at least then found the date sugar no problem. Okay. Cool. Only the miso left. 

I wandered into the Asian condiments aisle... and essentially repeated the same pacing act I’d done at Big Y, except I went back and forth even more times because I had a hard time processing that Whole Foods wouldn’t have what I needed. I mean, they’ve got some weird stuff there! They have like 5 different brands of ghee! Miso sounded like such a basic Asian condiment to me. We’ve all heard of miso soup, no? But it was nowhere to be found. Ugh. Fine. I’ll go to the Asian market in East Hartford. It’s not that far from here anyways, I tried to reassure myself. I could feel a sugar crash hitting my bloodstream. I wanted a juicebox and a nap. 

I checked out and made my way to Je Mart. I wandered up and down their aisles and couldn’t seem to find miso there either. It finally occurred to me that I was obviously missing something here. Like I really should have done at Big Y in the first place, I pulled out my phone and Googled “Where do I buy miso in the store?” Within 5 seconds I realized I’d been looking in the wrong spots of the stores the entire time. Miso isn’t a bottled or jarred condiment like Sriracha or curry paste. It’s actually sold in plastic tubs in the refrigerated section. Look near the tofu, the infinite wisdom of the Internet advised. I turned around and what do you know, literally right behind me was the refrigerated section with the tofu. And within five seconds I spotted it: a tub of miso!!! I grabbed at it ecstatically and scanned the label. Was this the white miso that Dr. Gregor had specifically demanded? It didn’t specify, but it looked pale enough for me. And it was only $5 for a pretty decent sized tub. I handed my money gleefully to the cashier and went on my way. Finally. 

I got home and put away my new purchases. It was about 2:20pm and I was beyond exhausted. I really shouldn’t have eaten that much granola, I thought morosely as I flopped onto the couch. I wanted to rewatch Forks Over Knives (it’s on Netflix!). If I started now it would end right around 4, a good time to start trying to actually prepare some of the meals I’d worked so hard all the day just to shop for. 

I’m not saying that I napped for the entire documentary because I definitely didn’t. I remember some parts of it. But can I guarantee I didn’t nap at all? No, no I cannot. 

This was another long post, so obviously I’m going to need to give us all a break and stop here before going on to Part 2, in which I’ll finally talk about cooking and eating these recipes. These first couple of posts have really just been a lot of exposition, I promise I’m going to get to the meat of the plot soon! (pun intended) 

For now, here’s a picture of the miso I drove all over the state searching for before finally acquiring for the very reasonable price of $5 (fyi - Big Y does have miso but it’s red miso and it’s $7 so I guess all’s well that ends well): 

[katsdsstudies-blog]

So studying. Studying with a capital S. Something we’ve all got to do for class. Something we’re not all taught how to do. Something we sometimes don’t think we have to do at all.

It’s a challenge, that’s for sure. It becomes an impossibility almost when you’re dealing with mental health issues, disabilities, and problems with socialising. I should know.

How do you study though, Kat? How do you manage to still get decent grades when you don’t sit at the front of class? You don’t take a bajillion notes? You don’t write them out by hand 24-7?

How. Are. You. Not. Failing???

Studying isn’t just about pretty notes, it’s not about writing everything by hand, it’s not about fancy playlists and colour-coordination. It’s about understanding the material you’ve got to learn and engaging with it in a way that helps you remember it.

I’ll be honest, studying for exams is impossible for me now. I just can’t do it. My memory has gone to hell after years of living with chronic pain with hardly any support. It sucks. Luckily though my course is all coursework and internal examinations. That’s the beauty of my Masters. I know it’s not the same for everyone though.

That means I’m going to do my best to help ya’ll with exam studying, class notes, revision, reading assignments and so on. Basically, anything I can think of.

Lets get started then shall we.

1. Figuring out how to take class notes in class:

Don’t bother with fancy. You won’t have the time. Your handwriting just needs to be legible to you. I cheat a lot and write in block capitals. It’s pretty quick and easier to read than my scribbled cursive half the time.

Typed notes are basically the same. Bullet points and bold titles etc… do those later when you have the time to spend on it. Hit tab for each ‘bullet point’ you’ll make in class for a specific topic, don’t bother fighting with Word or whatever other note-taking programme you use. Just use tab, then hit backspace to go back to the normal width of the document.

For subheadings, use colons ( : ) they save a lot of time and you don’t need to hit bold, italic, or underline. If you have problems with keyboard shortcuts then this is probably a brilliant idea. Use semi-colons ( ; ) for lists and fake-bullet-points-ala-tab. So much time saved.

If you know a shorthand method to take notes, use it. If you don’t, I sometimes take the vowels out of words leaving only the cnstnts bhnd. It can take a bit of time getting used to, especially when writing by hand, but it can help if you have a tutor/professor/lecturer who talks a mile a minute and flies through slides at the same time.

2. Using in-class slides/materials along with your own notes:

One thing I find very useful is printing out the slides for my classes before I get there. It makes keeping focused on whatever we’re discussing easier. Also, you can number your notes with the slide (S10 or Slide12) you’re making notes on. This makes writing your notes up later way easier.

If your lecturer doesn’t provide copies of the slides, email them. Most of the time they’ll be pretty decent and let you have a copy. Sometimes they won’t. If they refuse… well, if you can take pictures of the slides on your phone that can solve that problem. Otherwise, I’d suggest arguing the toss with them and pulling them up for being discriminatory or blocking your learning. Some might not take kindly to this though. If that fails, you can always try a class mate or record the lectures.

One thing I’ve had to do before was actually record myself reading the slides in my class out to myself. I was sat at the back and incredibly quiet with my phone almost attached to my chin, but it worked. So that’s an option.

USE. THE. HEADINGS. ON. THE SLIDES. IN. YOUR. NOTES. I can’t express this enough. It keeps your notes organised, focused and when/if you come across tests or exams, you can use those notes to study specific things way easier than if you use your own headings.

3. Re-writing those notes from class:

I’ll admit, I’m a perfectionist. A pathetic, disastrous perfectionist. If my notes don’t look right to me I will literally trash them and restart. Doesn’t matter if it’s one page or fifty. It’s a problem. I’m working on it.

I’ll give you this piece of advice though: don’t try to make your notes super fancy. You might be writing these ones out a second time, making them more consistent, organised, detailed etc, but that doesn’t mean you should go overboard on fancy. You still need to be able to use them and write them in a decent time.

I give myself about an hour or so to write or type my notes from class, including the stuff on the slides.

That hour is spent focusing on making sure I make it clear what are keywords, important terms, definitions, and names, dates, and places which I’ll need to remember or find easily later on for doing assignments.

Stick to using one or two colours. Black ink for the main notes is usually best I’ve found. Red, green, blue, any other colour in the rainbow can work for the important ones I need to notice. But be. consistent.

Give yourself breaks when writing. I know we all get into The Zone™ when writing and studying. You blink and it’s been six hours and you’re desperate for the loo, food and some water. Don’t let yourself do that. Set alarms. One hour tops then break.

The pomodoro studying method is good. 5-10 minutes breaks between study sessions.

Change up which notes you write after each break. I have the choice between disability, disability, and disability, so this doesn’t exactly work that well for me, but it is a good idea for anyone doing more than one subject or course of study. Physics then English? Excellent. Maths then Chemistry? Good, go for it. Crying then weeping? Bit too much alike but if it works.

The simpler the better. Clean notes that don’t devolve into chaos are good for our brains to look at. We take in and process information a heck of lot easier when it’s presented neatly and in an organised way than if you essentially word-vomit all over the page. This is why too much colour can be a bad thing btw. Your brain just goes ‘lol nope’ and quits on you. Problematic to say the least.

4. Where to sit in class in a lecture hall:

This depends on the way you are as a person tbh.

Do you get distracted easily? Sit right at the front. Less distractions.

Do you talk to people a lot and don’t pay attention? Sit at the front or a bit away from people. One seat space away can work for this. You can still interact but it’s a bit more awkward to lean across a seat than it is to just turn and whisper in someone’s ear.

Do you find crowds a problem? Sit at the front away from everyone or at the back. The middle tends to be full of those who want to try but get distracted easily enough that they want to socialise. I sit at the back because too many people around me is a problem.

Do you have problems with processing what your lecturer is saying? The front is the best for this. If you have problems with crowds, attention, etc, then the front does contain sides to it. If you can sit against a wall while still at the front, then it still counts and can help somewhat.

The walls also have plug sockets so win-win if you use a laptop and it’s dying.

4.1. It’s not a lecture hall so where to sit:

If your classrooms are like the ones I’m in for my MA then I’m guessing they’re gonna have groups of tables together so six-ten people can sit around them and work in groups. If they’re not I’ll address that in 4.2 next.

Get distracted easily? Sit as close to the front as you can with as limited a view of the rest of the class as you can. Focus on the lecturer who will be Right There in front of you.

You’re a talker and have a squirrel’s attention span? The front again. Hard as heck to talk to people if you’re lecturer is Right There Judging You.

Crowd issues? The back or the sides tend to be a bit easier to handle for this. The benefit of being in a classroom setting for your classes is that it’s easier to hear your lecturer than in the lecture hall. Sitting at the back doesn’t have as many problems then. Also helps if you can see the entire class just so you can keep an eye on them and Know They’re There They Won’t Just Magically Appear.

^ That helps with anxiety issues btw. Though the reverse does as well if you speak up in class. Personal preference really comes into play here.

Processing problems? The front is usually best. But so is the back amusingly. Sound travels and if you’re lecturer can project their voice then the back is actually pretty good for focusing. Only challenge is your class mates and how loud/distracting they are. Personal preference again here.

Use a computer? Walls. Sit by the walls. Attach yourself to them. Those plug sockets are precious, rare creations and you will Fight To The Death For Them.

4.2. In a classroom where it’s single tables, ala American-style classrooms:

Sorry to say but I have limited experience with this sort of set up but I’ll do my best.

Distraction issues? The front, near the middle if you can. You can focus on the board right in front of you and on the lecturer right there with it. Also you’re pretty close to the door so Freedom Is Close And Easily Accessible.

Talkative squirrel? Front again. Maybe closer to the door. Scoot your table away from others a bit (before they get to class or when everyone is sitting down, try not to make it obvious; someone will be offended otherwise). Your lecturer will catch you chatting away if you’re at the front. They always do…

Crowding/anxiety? Sides, front to back. Closer the door the better. Right at the front can be Problematic with the whole people-are-staring-at-me-oh-god thing, but the back can be the same because oh-god-they’re-turning-to-look-at-me-while-I’m-talking. Sides are a little of both but at lease the exit is closer.

Processing issues? Just go with the front. Anywhere along the front. First two rows. The middle might be best but not always. Don’t sit near the door. Sit on the opposite side of the room to the exit. You might be the last to leave class, finishing a note or packing your stuff. Don’t rush unless you have to. It messes up your brain too much otherwise.

Computer? I’m not sure if this is allowed in American classrooms but if it is, plug sockets or sit away from the windows. You can manually control your screen brightness then and the light from the windows will force you to keep it bright and waste battery life. The Darkness Is Your Friend.

5. Reading assignments and note taking:

Not gonna lie, I hate reading assignments. They’re usually boring and I’m forced to read articles that use far too many fancy words and waffle so much my brain dribbles out of my ears. It’s an attention and a processing problem. That said, here’s some tips I’ve developed over the years.

Scientific papers, humanities, etc: Read the introduction and conclusion. This is where most of the info is anyway. The introduction tells you the purpose of the research, the background, what the researchers wanted to figure out/learn and what methods they use to do so. The conclusion tells you what they found out, some of the issues they had and future research ideas. Only look at the middle if you have to or want to for curiosity. Otherwise, give it a quick read and leave it be.

Literary criticisms and such: Start with same approach as above. Introduction and conclusion. Notes on the main things from both. Then read the rest. One read through first. Put it down, go away and do something (make a drink, eat a food, go for a walk, whatever). Then come back to it. Be ready with a pencil.

Underline things you think are important as you read through. Don’t use the highlighter. You’ll decorate the page otherwise. Once you’ve been through it once, go through it again. Underline the things you think are really important a second time. Those things you highlight.

Make notes on the things you double underlined and highlighted. Those are gonna be the important things. The rest is bonus material.

Stories and poems: break it down.

5.1. Stories:

Lets start off with the story. Find out the setting, the characters, the history of the time the story is written, things about the author etc. Make a poster or something visually easy to read for this. It’ll help you focus when you’re reading the story.

Read the story through without stopping to make notes. You need to have it in your head first before you go back to make notes on it. Remember to take a break when you’re done as well.

Pencil time. Underline important things, phrases, quotes you might use later.

Go through it again. Underline those Uber Important Things. Then hit it with your hightlighter.

Asterisks ( * ) are good for if something is a major point, or you have A Thought about it. You can put it in the story then reference it in your notes. *1 *2 *3 is how I do it. Page numbers are a good idea to include as well at the end of each notation.

5.2. Reading Poems:

And now onto poems. They’re a bit more difficult. Figure out the structure first. Is it a set of rhyming couplets? Freestyle? Does it have a set number of verses? Does it have a refrain? These are things you should notice immediately.

Put that information into a poster or at least write it down so it’s easy to read. Tables are a good idea.

Learn a little bit about the poet. Have they written other poems? Are they like this? Do they have a similar theme? Is there anything out there about the theme of this poem? This info can help a lot when considering the structure and meaning behind the poem.

Focus on individual verses. Make a note as you go of your instinctive response to each verse, to the refrain (if it has one), to the flow. This can help you in an exam when you have to explain or include your own thoughts on the poem.

Look at the language used. Is it polite? Is there a crassness to it? Does it seem modern or is it Pride And Prejudice in poem form? This all connects to structure and intent.

Use a dictionary and thesaurus when looking at the words used. Sometimes a poet will use a word that has a very unique meaning No One Knows. You might assume the meaning you know for that word is what they mean. Dictionary and thesaurus is a must for poetry analysis imho.

For notes on poems and stories, break it down: structure, setting, author, characters, important quotes/phrases… these are things you might have to compare to other poems/stories later on.

It’s good to put these in a very visual form.

If you’re comparing multiple poems/stories: big. ass. poster. table. It’ll save you so much hassle I s2g.

6. Exam studying/revision:

The notes you’ve made throughout your class/term/course will be useful here. The difference is you’re not going to be able to memorise all of them.

That’s where flashcards, summary sheets and tables come in handy.

6.1. Using flashcards:

These are small and force you to keep to a point.

Give each one a specific title – definition, structure, researcher name etc – and bullet-point your notes on it.

If you manage it well enough you should be able to get several points into a single bullet-point using keywords that’ll trigger your memory and association with the more detailed notes you’ve taken in the past.

Don’t put too much info onto each one. If you have a lot of stuff for a specific topic – for example, professional practice – then it’s better to use several flashcards than it is to shove it all onto one and find it a mess of information you just can’t process.

Look at them whenever you have the time.

Waiting for the bus? Pull ‘em out.

On the bus? Yeah, got time there to kill.

Lecturer is late? Sod it, go for it.

Can’t sleep? Maybe not… warm milk or hot cocoa and dark room would probably be better.

6.2. Summary sheets and tables:

Summary sheets should be one-sided, simple and clear. Don’t bother with fancy, but do bother with neat.

Capitals for headings and subheadings. Don’t use more than one line for each heading (seriously, you don’t have the space to use 16pt font on the paper at this point).

Keywords should be clear and easy to notice. Not eye-popping colours but something that is noticeable compared to black text. Red, blue, green… these work well and are easier to see.

If you’re colour blind or have issues with coloured text then change the font, angle of writing, capitalisation etc. Anything to make those keywords stand out.

Tables are brilliant for comparing lots of things together. Research articles, poems, stories… all of them. A3 sized posters are some of my favourites to make. You can have colour and such on them because they’re meant to be aesthetically pleasing and also noticeable.

All the tricks you can use for summary sheets and flashcards work for tables as well. They’re not meant to be super-detailed things. You need to be able to look at them and basically get a cliff-notes version of the material.

Okay so, this is the end.

Questions? If you have them then send them my way. I’ll answer them no problem.

Advice needed? Same as above.

Anything you want me to address or give tips about? Message me and I’ll make another post of tips and advice.

Question not related to studying? That’s fine. I’ve done and lived through enough in my life that advice and help is something I’m always willing and happy to provide.

Hope this has been helpful to ya’ll though!