#twst crackfic

[h3apm3ch4n151m]

I'm not going to stop poking you until you give me attention.

Based on a prompt from Pinterest Character: Jade Leech Crack, the fluffy gn!reader

God forbid that you never find out why Jade is like this.

"Y/N." Jade's smooth voice called you from behind and you stopped walking to the library. You turn your head, only to be stopped when his finger poked your cheek.

Like it was a button, you smiled and giggled. Jade's eyes wrinkled in glee with a gentle smile on his face

"What is it?" You fully turn your whole body to face him. Holding stacks of books that were told to be returned to the library.

"What are you doing?" He curiously asked that still has a smile on his face. And he stepped closer. You looked at him and back at the stack of... 9-14 books? Well, it was a lot. "I'm uhh," You bounced the pile in your hands because it was slipping off your grip. "Putting back these books in the library, why?" You turn around and continue your journey.

"Let me help." He gets all of the books from your hands with ease. He's strong... and... handsome... not to mention ch "Oh, why are you staring at me like that?" Shoulders stiffen and vision went back to reality. He looked at you with a polite smile, but you know that isn't so polite. It was teasing. "Hey! You can't take everything for your credit!" You laughed and took some books from his hands.

The whole trip to the library was quiet, though you can't help but keep glancing at Jade, who just stared in front of him with a content smile. You don't know how or why Jade just suddenly helps you.

He probably just wants something that involves you, so you don't mind being helped.

You run to Deuce and Grim and hand them their bottles. "Nice job guys." "Yeah, I totally aced everything!" "Yeah! We did our bests today!" You just laugh at both of their enthusiasm. "I finished my water, Y/N, Can ya' refill mine?" Grim handed his bottle to you.

Well, seeing how you got nothing to do... You take the bottle and walk to the cafeteria to get more water. Well, it will be a long long walk.

"Y/N" You turn around and a finger poked your face. You see Jade's face and laugh once again. You swear, it's like your face has a button. And when it's pressed, you just laugh like a teddy bear.

"What are you doing?" He asks. "Jade, I'm gonna start mistaking you for Floyd from what you're doing right now" You laugh jokingly as Jade laughed along with you. He eyes the water bottle you hold, and you follow his sight. "Oh, I'm refilling Grim's bottle for flight lessons." Your eyes saw what Jade was holding, a water bottle. You look back at him, "Are you refilling too?" You turn around and continued walking.

"Yeah," He walks after you. "I want to be as hydrated as possible, so my water supply is low."

The walk with him is quiet, as usual. And as usual, you can't help but glance at him again, with his content smile.

You've reached the cafeteria. You were about to step inside the kitchen, but Jade stopped you, "I can refill the bottle for you, for now, you may rest in the chairs." He offers and takes the bottle from your hands. You couldn't protest because he's already turned his back on you and walked away to refill the bottle. Well... that's...

Jade is next to you, listening intently to Professor Trein. You write small notes in your notebook for studying. "Psst, Y/N." You turn to your side only to be stopped by a finger once again. But this time you resisted the urge to laugh because a professor is present. But your face contorted instead. Jade laughs "You look like a puffer fish, Y/N." His eyes closed and he places his clenched hand over his smiling mouth.

"Jade, why do you keep poking me?" "I'm not going to stop poking you until you give me attention."

God forbid that you never find out why Jade is like this. But... you seem to like his playful side.

[forgwater]

You know what!? Trying to stop Rook from terrorizing the NRC students, but this time it ACTUALLY IS Valentine’s Day!

crackfic

gender neutral reader

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 Valentine’s Day (but it’s August)

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romantic

The most anticipated day of the year is finally here! What day that is, you might ask, why! it's Valentine's day!

And your dear boyfriend, Rook, asked you to meet him in the schools forest.

No doubt, he planned something especially romantic for you.

Ah, the anticipation is just killing you, and so might've that arrow, if your hunter wasn't an exceptional marksman.

As always, the arrow that almost hit plenty of students while it made its way towards you, is carrying a message.

How romantic!

Doesn't it just make your heart beat faster?

The envelope, lightly scented, contains a very beautiful poem, filled with Rooks love and adoration for you. The dreamy sigh leaving your lips does not escape the hunters keen senses as he lets out a light chuckle.

"Rook-" you startle.

"Mon amour~" a kiss is placed upon your warming cheek "Your reactions are always a delight to witness!... and it is my pleasure to be the one that causes them!~" and with a wink, the hunter starts leading you away.

"Where are we going?" you manage to ask in your flustered state.

"Hmmm~ Where do you think we're going?~" he shots back, eyes gleaming with great interest.

Your pause prompts him to continue.

"The forest, my dear. I've finished preparations earlier that anticipated and I couldn't bear to be away from your presence anymore!" even with a dramatic hand placed upon his forehead, Rook does not take his eyes off of you.

The walk is short, but lively as you chat with your beloved. When you finally reach the clearing in between the ancient apple trees, you are greeted with a blanked laid upon the ground and on it a whicker basked, no doubt filled with only the most delicious foods.

A beautiful bouquet of your favorite flowers is set to the side, waiting eagerly to be presented to you. Truly, what a nice little date your boyfriend arranged for the two of you. Speaking of...

With a hand open for you to take, the hunter calls:

"Shall we, mon ange?"

And how could you refuse such an invitation from the most alluring man you've ever laid eyes upon.

platonic

It's finally time. The final day has arrived and Yuu is feeling sick to their stomach.

After their last encounter with the hunter, the prefect has been avoiding every possible meeting.

But they did not give up. No, that would be impossible. The prefect just needed some time to regain their strength and plan.... and pray that this is the last time.

As if it worked the last six times.

But, you know what they say!

New day, new horrors to face!

And so, Yuu gets ready to exit the safety of Ramshackle, only to be immediately cornered by the hunter.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" the prefect is at their limit, they can't do this anymore. They ready one of their knives, but Rook starts speaking.

"I will give you a break from our little, friendly... competition, for a month. If-" but he gets cut of.

"If?!" the prefect narrows their eyes, it's not everyday a deal like this presents itself.

For a moment Yuu questions whether or not this is Azul, disguised by some kind of transformation potion or... wait! don't tell them! This BETTER not be one of those personality swapping accidents-

"If..." the hunters voice brings the prefect back to their senses "if you help me prepare my date with Y/N." he finishes with a smile.

wait... what....

Suspicion coats Yuus features, but Rook isn't fazed, as he continues.

"Si, c'est vrai! I am telling no lies!" the hunter insists.

"But... why?" the prefect is truly confused now.

"I have much work to attend to, and I refuse to be late with the preparations for mon amour and my date. So, I would like your assistance, trickster."

"... And what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to go and pick some things up for me, that is all!" and suddenly there is a list in the prefects hands. "Au revoir!"

There he goes, unbothered by the world and making it everybody else's problem.

Well... might as well get on with it.

It may not be much, but it's honest work... or so the prefect thinks.

~~~

"Ah, prefect! What brings you to the Mostro Lounge?" Azul inquires, a bit too delighted for this to be a genuine question.

"...You are in on this... aren't you?"

"My, what an unfounded accusation! I am disappointed you would think so lowly of me." feigning ignorance, huh.

"Whatever. Just give me the stuff from the list."

"Normally I'd ask why you're in such a hurry, but considering today is Valentine's day, I am quite busy myself and I quite enjoy doing business swiftly. So do go in the kitchen and grab a uniform."

"...What..."

"My apologies, force of habit."

"....Riiiiight..."

It sounds like there's a little more going on here, but the prefect's not gonna question it... for now.

~~~

"Trey!" the prefect calls at the third year.

"Oh, Yuu. I suppose you're here to pick the desserts and flowers for Rook." At least Trey is easier to deal with than Azul... right?

"Thank you." as the prefect grabs the pastry box and bouquet, the green haired man askes:

"You've been taking care of your teeth, right?"

Weird question, but okay.

"Uh... yeah! Sure!" suddenly, Yuu feels nervous. What is going on?

"Let me see."

what.

"Uhhhh.... you know...." the prefect tries to put as much distance between themselves and the teeth maniac as they can "I gotta go!" and they book it. Not looking back even as Trey screams something about proper dental care in the background.

'This school is full of psychopaths!' the prefect thinks. At least they got away... this time.

~~~

"Here's your stuff." Yuu hands the hunter the listed items "Now, please leave me alone!"

"For a month." Rook smirks, the glint in his eyes dangerous, as it promises a tough battle for the future.

"I hope I never meet you again, Hunt." the prefect shakes their head. They've had enough. The have to get some better blackmail on Crowley. This has gone on for long enough.

And yet, as they turn to leave, they freeze at the hunters words:

"We'll see." he says "Now, I'll have to ask you to leave. I have a picnic to arrange and it must be beautiful enough to compliment my beloveds visage!"

And then Rook moves back towards the forest.

What a nightmare this Twisted Wonderland is.

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masterlist

[tartstealingknave]

Telling the first years that you broke your arm accidentally

This is a crackfic or chatfic idk😭 No ortho I do not know how to write for him

Anyways gn!reader as always<3 no prns used though

[dark-side-blog3]

Ignore that this Home Alone inspired poly adeuce fic is a month late. Or choose to read it for 2024 Christmas, up to you.

I had a lot of fun writing this! Put it into a word counter just for fun, and I'm surprised to see that my first real WIP I finished in 2024 is 3k long! It was just so fun to imagine a twist one of my favourite Christmas movies, and I got so caught up in the fun of it I didn't make my deadline ^^; It was originally meant to be a short little crackfic, but it was just too fun! There are some cracky, campy elements, but that's just in the spirit of the movie I based it off!

Anyways: MDNI, warnings for standard yandere things, and creepy crawlies.

++++++++++++++++++++++

"Shouldn't we be pouring salt on the pathway?"

"Nah," you smile, splashing another bucket of water on the front steps. "This is so we can have a nice slip-and-slide for tobogganing tomorrow, Grim! Same reason I'm filling up a little ice rink in the back-- I wanna do some skating. I can't wait for it to freeze over and teach you how!"

Grims' head shakes fervently as he beams; "Just you wait! I'll show you the grace and speed of a master figure skater! I'm gonna be teaching YOU how to skate by the time we're done!"

"Well if you wanna do that, you're gonna need to be well rested. Can you grab us some cookies for before-bed snacks?" you encourage, the monster agreeing and scampering off inside the dorm house to pilfer the cupboard.

You continue pouring water on the steps and trudge around the house's perimeter to check on the steps leading outside to make sure they're freezing over like you intended. You have several other home security measures to check over...

Most of the staff, and students for that matter, went home for the holidays. Family to see, vacations to take... A life to live outside of the school and other people in it. Should anything happen, Crowley was unfortunately unavailable (what else is new, the old bastard), nor was Vargas, Trein, or Crewl. Normally they'd be spattered throughout the holiday to watch over the students. But there are other teachers on the premises, and hardly any students who can't return home for whatever reason, and they let it slip by... One night during the whole winter break when none of your trusted faculty members nor any of your more powerful friends like Malleus or Idia could help if you got into trouble.

And maybe, maybe your brain has been rotted by movies and defending yourself from overblotted students.

But it's better safe than sorry.

With everything seemingly in order, and the sun setting quickly behind the treeline of school woods, you rush over to the front gate to hang a large sign:

NO SOLICITORS

Hopefully, this will deter anyone planning to intrude on you tonight.

You trudge your way back to the front door, carefully avoiding the steps. You spend the next few hours snacking with Grim while watching movies together, playing card games, and chattering about what ifs and would you rather... Before too long, it's time for bed, and Grim is out like a light, thanks to several pounds of turkey stuffing, potatoes, and cookies you still had after the holiday party days ago.

The party was fun... It did leave you with more leftovers you knew what to do with, which is always great. You got to wish Rook Joyeuses Fête, decorate cookies with Jack and Jade (the merman being much better at decorating, likely due to working in the lounge), and say goodbye to everyone dear to you before they left for their own plans... But it also had Ace and Deuce.

Which, on the one hand, they're harmless. You know they are. They're just jerks sometimes.

They should be focusing on their studies, and you had to devote your time to keeping Ramshakle clean, and Grim on task to graduate... The little monster became somewhat of a family member. Surrogate son or little brother you're not entirely sure, but you want him to succeed.

And even if the pair of heartslabyul boys were gifted students that excelled at every course with time to spare, Grim wasn't-- Grim needed your help to study, to get to class, to handle some of his projects for him when his paws would cause accidents in the potion lab. Grim needs your help to get through college, and it keeps you way too busy for a relationship with either guy.

And even though they soured the mood of the party right after you told them as such, it's the truth, and that's what it is. You're not going to jeopardize Grim's future just to date college students.

They acted like jerks for the rest of the winter break.

When everyone was opening presents, they bitched at everyone for the gifts they exchanged, teased relentlessly, knocked over decor, and told each classmate going through the magic mirror over the week to 'take their time coming back, if at all'. Poor Idia had an anxiety attack when they started teasing him; it took you half an hour to calm him down enough to stop puking and stick to just dry heaving. Grim scampered off after Idia fainted a second time... It took another hour after that to help him through the magic mirror, with his robot escorts. You would have walked through with him, but he insisted holding your hand as he left would be enough, only dragging you somewhat through the portal.

It was rubbing you the wrong way how they were picking fights with everyone, and snubbing Grim anytime they saw you and the monster around campus.

Suddenly, the front gates screech open, drawing you out of your thoughts. You peek out the sliver of the window from behind the thick curtain in the bedroom to see two figures shuffle through the snow.

It can't be them. Even if you were just thinking of them, that would be too... Convenient. Like some movie logic. Thinking of people doesn't summon them.

Whoever it is will be getting a nasty surprise in three, two, one--

A muffled thud and string of curses can be heard from the other side of the glass. You sneak your way down the stairs so you can at least see who's at the door.

"Son of a--! Grim!" Deuce shouts. So much for not summoning them.

"Open the door, little buddy! We know that you're in there and that you're all alone... Your precious prefect is spending the last night of the winter break with someone else, right?" Ace yells, quickly being joined by a snickering and rapping at the door.

A shadow presses itself against the window, trying to peer through sheer curtains. You duck behind one of the striped couches on the outside of the room, close to the walls. Through the reflection of the glass cabinet, you can see the figure stay and linger at the window, tapping against the glass with a small can.

"Come on Grim. We've got tuna for ya if you just open the door and have a chat..." Deuce says, cupping his hands around his mouth as he yells through the glass.

His shadow straightens up, before pounding back on the glass, rattling the old pane against the tight frame, the narrow strips of wood being tight enough together that neither of them could just force their way through the window; Even if they shattered all the glass.

Which Deuce just might, slamming himself into the frame as hard as he could.

"I saw you move in there! Don't ignore us!" He shatters a pane, shoving his hand through to grab at the sheer curtains and tug, ripping them.

You duck back behind the couch, scanning for tools to protect yourself. Shut up. Don't be stupid, just think. Think quick, and smart.

The banging stops for a second. Before becoming far louder-- powerful enough to feel the floor shake. Metal creaks against its hinges, and the lock crashes into the strike plate of the door.

Ignore that, focus. Cleaning supplies. Always nearby, the dorm is filthy. Dish soap and mop bucket.

You dart out from behind the couch to grab the bottle of dish soap, grabbing it and rolling up against the wall just in time as the banging stops, the door knob jiggles and a thin wire pokes itself out from the cracks between the door frame. It makes quick work of the locks on the door, before opening, and Ace proudly struts into the room. The second he does, you pop the cap and squeeze the bottle, squirting bright blue goop into his eyes and smarmy mouth! And you splurt the floor for good measure!

You sprint back to behind the couch he pulls back, sputtering, and wiping it from his eyes in thick globs. You watch through the reflection of the cabinet as Deuce shoves his way past Ace as he splatters fistfuls of goop onto the floor, next to the bottle of leaking dish soap. Ace shoves Deuce for the push, and the resulting shove has both of them slipping on the puddle of dish soap you left in your hurry.

"Ahg-- Ace?! Why are you on the floor?"

A visibly wet smack as dish soap arches off Ace's gloves, slapping damply right into Deuce's face as he grunts from under his classmate: "Get off me, you buffoon! Go find the cat-- Grim, I'm gonna skin you for this, you little creep!"

"Don't make threats until after we have the little rat, runt. If he goes tattling we're screwed--"

"There's no one to tattle to! He's all alone in this big house! Even the ghosts aren't here! If we stick his claws in an electrical socket or force-feed him motor oil, no one would think anything of it! He's just a dumb animal that killed himself without supervision!"

Something glints from under the couch. You grasp at it, finding a spare ornament, and an unused ziptie, threaded through the top. There's got to be something you can use to create a bigger distraction and get you and Grim out of here.

There has to be something in reach-- going back to the bucket in plain sight of them is too risky. Shoving your hand under the couch, your clutch the first thing that your grasp: An aerosol room freshener. Score.

Wrapping the ziptie around the spray trigger, you tighten it and roll it over to the boys, still scrambling about on the floor. You watch from the reflection in the cabinet as Deuce gets a heavy spray right in the eyes, hollering in pain!

"AUGH-- Fucker! You think you're so smart, punk?! Your little bomb just gave away your position!" Deuce shouts, whipping out his magic pen, covering his eyes.

You feel a sense of dread. Primal instinct. You leap out from behind the couch just as he summons a caldron to crash into the couch, narrowly missing you as it smashes the solid oak to splinters. Splinters stick to your socks, embedding in your feet as you scamper off to another room, streams of water and gusts of wind being shot after you.

Just as you turn the corner to climb up the stairs and rush to Grim's room, you hear Ace curse exasperatedly, stumbling his way to the end of the hall to stare at you, still wiping his eyes on his sleeves. Another string of sighed curses leaves his lips as he watches you scramble up the stairs, making accidental eye-contact.

They know their plans are botched now.

Gotta climb faster.

On all fours, you claw up the stairs, just as a tug on your ankle forces your jaw to slam into them. Casting a glance backwards, Ace has gripped your ankle with his sticky gloves, grinning madly as you struggle to tug your ankle away from him, and try to dodge the other one of his hands trying to grasp for your other leg, only to end up sloppily groping your ass before trying again. You try to shake and kick him off, getting a hits to the side of his head, but not as effective as if you had room to wind up. He's gripping so hard it feels like he's going to break something. You scramble, shifting your weight side to side to get him off, prying yourself off the stairs and scratching your nails into the old wood. Your nails cling to the baseboard, prying the edge as much as you can, the wood creaking and snapping off with each desperate tug to pull yourself up.

The baseboard snaps, and you find yourself with a small wooden shiv, thinking to whip around and stab it into Ace's hand, leading him to retract for a second long enough for you to scramble up a step again-- before being slammed back down into the wood as you're grabbed again.

A girthy, irrate red centipede wiggles its way out from the hole in the baseboard, defensive of the now-ruined home.

You snatch it up, close to the head and the snapping mandibles as it wriggled and writhed, as you slowly reached back around to Ace, still clinging to your legs as you tried to shake him off. The teen was so focused on keeping you still as he pulled some ducttape off the roll with his teeth, that he didn't see the massive, snakelike body of the centipede until it was too late; And you stick it right on his face.

He seemed to freeze, giving you enough time to tug your leg again, just as he screamed an ear-piecing shriek!

Ace pawed at his face squirming violently on the stairs, thumping loudly on each step back to the bottom as you sprinted your way upstairs, into Grims room, slamming and locking the door behind you!

"What the hell is wrong--"

"PSYCHO PREFECT IS WHAT! Is it in my hair? Fucking thing was thick as a finger, and they put it right on my face! Is it in my hair?!"

"The prefect is home?! Dude! We're so screwed!"

"So go up there and get them, dipshit! Why are you standing still when they're up there getting a fucking bear trap or something ready?! Are you having an aneurysm or something?! Why are you just staring at me like that?!"

"...Ace... Don't... Move."

"Deuce... What are you talking about? Go get them-"

"Don't. Move."

"Deuce..?"

The telltale crash of a cast iron cauldron smashing through your rotten wood floors makes you nearly shit yourself, glancing back at a sleep-stirring Grim.

"DID I GET IT?"

"YOU ALMOST CRUSHED MY SKULL YOU NUTCASE!"

"DID I GET IT?!"

"You fucking moron!"

You snatch Grim up, using the blanket he was sleeping with like a hobo bag to hold him in, and open the window, edging your way carefully onto the roof. If you can just make safely to the other side of Ramshackle, you can try scaling down the ivy. And it will at least give you a head start-- Maybe hiding out in Sams is the best idea. A store owner must have a CCTV, right? And if Ace and Deuce try and kill either of you, then even if something happens to you, they'll get caught...

You wrap the corners of Grims blanket around your shoulders, like a makeshift baby pouch. You can definitely feel him squirming on your back, starting to wake up. You let go of the window, slipping down the rough roof tile. Laying on your stomach, you side-shuffle over, staying as low to the roof as you can to get the most traction. The edge nearly takes you by surprise when your foot doesn't connect with length that's not there. Slowly, you shuffle even closer to the edge, swaying your arm around the edge to find the vines of Ivy.

"I FOUND 'EM, ACE!"

Your head whips around to see Deuce leaning as far as he can out of the window before he scrambles to get onto the roof.

Whipping your head back to focus, you grab a fistful of vines and pull the rest of your body off the roof! You snatch another fistful with your other hand as you fall.

And fall all the way down, watching in horror as the ivy peels itself from the brick walls.

You feel Grim claw his way out of the pouch and onto your face just in time, as you land on your back with a sickening crunch.

"Oh shit," Ace comments, seemingly having been waiting for you at the bottom of the wall. You see Grim flee across the yard out of the corner of your eye, unable to lift your head.

The sound of snow crunching underfoot, and Deuce panting like crazy soon joins Ace in staring at you as you lay helpless on the ground. As soon as he arrives he gets asked: "Are we gonna get Grim?"

"No point, really..." Comes the huffed response; "We were gonna get him to fuck off, and he's fucked right off. Tonight didn't really go to plan anyway."

A boot gently kicks at your side as Ace turns his attention back to you: "Are you paralyzed or something? That was quite the fall."

You open your mouth to speak, but only a cracked whine makes it out. You cringe and try again, but nothing intelligible comes out.

"Holy shit, they're brain-damaged!" Ace grins, laughing as he backs away from you.

You feel Deuce tugging at your legs in the snow, dragging you from your shallow ditch in the snow. He begins tugging you closer to the dorm, before he drops your legs, moving to grab you under your arms and haul you that way, up against a wall. Breaking a window, he shoves you in, head first. The cold floors of Ramshackle are still warmer than the ice and snow.

"Alright. Hey, real quick, can you feel this?" Deuce begins poking you with a wire from an ornament, starting with your legs, and making his way up on both sides. You nod, wincing at some particularly sharp pricks, to which Deuce responds by rubbing the area to dull the pain.

"Can you say where you are right now? Do you know who I am? Who you are?" You nod again, voice stumbling through a pained response.

"Awesome. You're not brain-damaged! You're probably just winded from the fall. Is anything broken? Can you wiggle your fingers and toes? Try twisting side to side. If you can't it means your spine might be broken, and you need a doctor."

You comply, weirded out by the sudden care, but the doctor comment means they will call someone. And that someone will keep you safe, and them away. The pain's already fading, and likely nothing serious, but you could trick them... Deuce particularly seems like a soft touch. You wince as you try to twist, feigning inability.

Deuce makes a worried expression, like he's about to piss himself from fear.

He backs off slightly, giving you a bit more breathing room: "Try crossing your arms and lifting them as far away from your ribs as you can".

You comply again, feigning difficulty,

And duct tape wraps around your wrists instantly. Deuce presses his knee down into your chest to pin you down as he wraps as tightly as he can, while Ace ties your legs from outside.

"This really, really isn't my style. But we've got to get you somewhere that is not here when the teachers come back tomorrow, and we can't have Grim knowing where to find you." Deuce rambles, soaking his glove in a bottle of something, before pressing it to your face. He continues rambling, leaning in closer to whisper: "And I know how this looks! But I promise we won't do anything to you while you sleep. Or when you wake up! I swear! It's all more normal than it seems tonight-- or it can be anyways. And... And if you give me some time, give me a chance, we can even ditch Ace and forget this night ever happened! You just need some time somewhere else..."

The room spins with dark spots as Deuce presses his soaked glove further into your face. He continues rambling at you, while you feel Ace begin dragging you back out the window again. The snow doesn't feel cold this time as you fall into it. It just feels soft.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Rook x Reader x Yandere Malleus

I’m mostly joking…

I mean you can’t have two conductors in a lightning storm and not expect to get electrocuted

Rook is the ultimately obsessed stalker and Malleus is the possessive powerhouse

It really shouldn’t work at all 

But if all the dominoes are in place it just becomes a perfect storm

Malleus knows good and well that the hunter has an intense interest in you

He smells him around Ramshackle when you have no recollection of inviting the vice-warden

He senses his presence when you and he are alone

And when he gets more intimate with you he knows Rook’s watching

For some reason, it doesn’t bother him 

He gets a rush knowing he’s showing just how much he owns you

He thinks that’ll scare him off 

On top of that, he is quite a powerful fae so any sane human wouldn’t want to tussle with him

Right? 

“Roi du dragon! How are you monsieur!” 

What idiot lied and said Rook was sane?!

Well it's easy to say Rook isn’t quite like most humans

He's a really gutsy

its only natural for a hunter to be so

Malleus will come to learn this

As he's suddenly seeking the hunter out more often 

He finds poetry in the places he frequents

And arrows that shoot near him with long-winded letters about how wonderful you and he are together naked

He’s amused 

And enjoying Rook’s engaging behavior

“Oh? Would you like for me to delve into the differences between grotesques and gargoyles?”

“Oui oui.”

He bonds with Rook over you easily 

Both gushing in old English about how lovely you are 

Eventually, Malleus looks to Rook for guidance

As he is more in tune with other students right?

That's why he has so many friends targets right?

“If you truly wish to court (Y/n) you should join me in watching them sleep!”

“But they refused when I asked! How did you do that?”

“There's no need to ask, that way you don’t impede on their sound sleeping.”

“I see, thank you!” 

Even worse Malleus is naturally possessive and greedy

tis the instincts of a dragon

“Lilia…what if I’m fond of two humans? Can I still have them both?”

“Of course!! And hey since Rook’s a hunter, I’m sure he’d love a good hunt.”

“I agree. Thank you!”

He’ll do just that and suddenly Rook is on the run

Happily hunting one another until he buckles at the sheer will Malleus has

Waiting until he’s pinned underneath the horned Prince of Thorns and looking into the excited glowing emerald eyes that he concedes

Now all that’s left is you

And since you keep running from them both; maybe you want to be hunted too

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Dancing 'til the break of dawn - Pt7

<Pt6

(TWST zombie apocalypse au for all your crack-fic needs)

Yuu winced internally as the radio tower came into view. And not for the same reason Ace and Deuce tensed, he barely even cast the zombies crowding at the window a second glance at first, too busy mulling over his options.

The zombies paused where they were scratching at the window (one day, Grim would figure out how locks work, but Yuu wasn’t about to teach him), before turning and looking at them. One waved and smiled at Yuu. Then, they all scattered.

“That’s creepy, man,” Ace said, looking down at Grim in disapproval for some reason.

Well, Yuu supposed, it was correct that Grim shared a consciousness with the other zombies, so whatever the other zombies did when they saw Yuu was an extension of Grim’s own feelings towards Yuu.

Awwww, his adorable little eldritch deity wanted to keep him safe.

“Stop smiling, you’re encouraging it,” Ace hissed.

“I’m encouraging him,” Yuu said flatly.

Ace pinched the bridge of his nose. “Not what you should have focused on there. And I was talking about encouraging his behavior, so ‘it’ is correct.”

Oh, that makes more sense. Ace was usually pretty good about pronouns, as weird as that might be. Yuu had argued that assuming the gender of the people he killed was a lesser evil than actually killing them, but Ace had sniffed and called it ‘needlessly disrespectful’.

Yuu did not understand his friend in the slightest.

Regardless, Yuu continued on to press a kiss onto Grim’s furry little head. “It benefits you, doesn’t it? Leave him alone, he’s done nothing wrong, ever.”

Ace looked like he strongly disagreed. For shame. You get threatened one time on seventeen different occasions and suddenly you start to be prejudiced against zombies. People are so fickle and quick to judge these days.

“You guys’ attachment is probably unhealthy…” Deuce piped up.

Grim narrowed his eyes at him, baring his teeth.

This, probably, didn’t disprove what Deuce had said, but it wasn’t necessary, because Deuce was quick to lift his hands in surrender. Everyone knows that if you give up an argument your point is automatically invalidated.

Grim settled in Yuu’s arms.

“Besides, those guys are pretty tame, you two haven’t even met my fan club yet,” Yuu added.

“Your fucking what?!” Ace yelled.

“My fan club,” he repeated, since his friend had suddenly gone deaf.

Ace spluttered. For a moment, he looked down at his hands helplessly. Then, slowly, he lowered his head into his hands, hissing curses under his breath as he attempted to pull out his hair from the roots. As if his poor hair hadn’t been through enough already.

Deuce, on the other hand, looked like he was feeling a little faint. He gripped Yuu’s sleeve as they walked, trying to steady himself. Or, maybe, to confirm to himself that Yuu was actually real. “The zombies… made a fan club for you?”

He shrugged. “Yeah.”

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

Yuu hummed. “I mean, it was a little weird at first, not gonna lie, but they’re actually really good about my boundaries! I barely even see them anymore!”

There was a beat of hesitation.

“Yeah, but that’s worse,” said Deuce.

Yuu disagreed. He opened his mouth to explain that his fan club used to prevent him from leaving the house outside of evacuating him during emergencies – and, sometimes, even then, they would hesitate. He much preferred them stalking him from the shadows if the other option was a complete lack of autonomy, thanks.

But he never got to explain any of this, because there was a shrill scream, and a gunshot.

The next few minutes seemed to go in slow motion.

Yuu nearly fell over with the force of it, dropping Grim as his left arm went numb. He blinked, dumbly, at his shoulder. Blood began to paint the fabric of his shirt red. For a second, he almost didn’t think it was real. That was a lot of blood, after all, and he wasn’t feeling anything more than pins and needles. Surely, that was wrong. Maybe he had finally snapped under the stress. Or Grim had given in to his instincts and bitten him and this was the beginning of the end. His ears rang as he, slowly, lifted his right hand up to touch the wound. Sticky, red liquid coated his finger as he poked at torn flesh. He flinched back, narrowing his eyes at the offensive… stuff.

Gross.

A hand grabbed his, thankfully hiding the blood from view, if only for a moment. Sluggishly, his eyes trailed up to meet Deuce’s. They were wide with panic.

The world whirled back into motion. He stumbled again, almost bowled over by the sudden urge to empty everything in his stomach. He dragged his hand out of Deuce’s so he could press it to the wound again, this time making sure to apply pressure.

“Shit, Yuu, are you oka –?!” Deuce winced at his own stupidity. “I mean, obviously not, but are you…?”

Yuu swallowed down a wave of nausea. “I’m fine.”

Deuce looked doubtful. Which was rude. Yuu was perfectly okay right now. He wasn’t going to speak for when he eventually came out of shock, but at this exact moment? He hadn’t felt this fine in months!

Well, he might just get sick, because the anxiety was actually managing to puncture holes in the blanket the shock had provided him so far, which kinda sucked, but whatever. He had other things that he needed to deal with.

“Just… make sure that no one kills each other, please.”

Deuce’s eyes, somehow, widened even more. He spun around sharply.

Cater was standing in the window, opened just a crack to allow him to point his gun out into the street, attempting to shoot Grim. He probably would have been successful by now if Ace wasn’t trying his damndest to get his knife through the aforementioned crack. Which, usually, makes accuracy a little difficult.

“YOU’LL THANK ME LATER!”

“If I have any say, you won’t have a ‘later’,” Ace hissed.

Deuce’s eyes narrowed just slightly, thoughtfully, as if he was considering whether it was really worth it to help Cater. Worryingly, it seemed like the needle was pointing more heavily towards ‘no’, and there might not be much time before the ‘yes’ side was no longer an option.

Yuu decided to try and help it along: “Deuce, Deuce, Deuce, good people don’t let others die.”

Deuce’s lips pressed together thinly as he considered this.

“YOU IDIOT THAT THING IS A ZOMBIE! MOVE OUT OF THE WAY IF YOU DON’T WANT TO –!”

“WE KNOW,” the three humans yelled back.

Cater faltered in sheer shock and horror. “What do you mean you know –?!”

Ace finally succeeded in jabbing his knife into Cater’s wrist.

The gun clattered to the ground, and it was then that Deuce apparently decided that, yeah, he should probably intervene. Whether this was purely due to his morals winning over or because he felt better now that Cater was also bleeding out was unclear. Frankly, Yuu was just grateful Deuce had pulled Ace away at all.

Yuu blinked as hands that weren’t his own joined him in attempting to stem the blood spilling from his shoulder. He, slowly, turned his head to find a zombie. Trying to hold him together.

Vaguely, he realized that he recognized them.

His fan club had arrived.

Ugh.

Well, whatever, at least he could use this.

Careful to enunciate every syllable, he said, “Grim, don’t kill him.”

The zombie grimaced. Briefly, their eyes flicked to the side. Grim paused where he had been squaring up under the window, preparing to jump inside after Cater. Grim’s tail swished back and forth in annoyance – Yuu had seen this a lot more, recently, thanks to Ace and Deuce.

And then, reluctantly, Grim lowered his head.

He relaxed slightly. Crises averted…

As the adrenaline began to fade, pain started to trickle in in its place, and Yuu had to fight not to tense up again, because surely that wouldn’t help the newfound aching in his shoulder. His vision started to dim, his grip on his wound slipping.

Yuu’s last thought before passing out was that he totally should have just let himself fall off that building earlier.

~

Yuu woke to far more nausea than he would usually prefer to deal with. Again. Which was unfair. He does not deserve to suffer like this.

Ah, he hadn’t even explained what had woken him up. Right. You see, he wasn’t sure what that was –.

Oh.

He cringed as he was subjected to the feeling of nails on a chalkboard, but it was amplified by about a million because the sensation was inside his goddamn shoulder. He flinched, which only made the feeling worse as the metal rubbed against his shoulder blade more.

“Deuce,” Ace hissed.

The arms around Yuu’s waist tightened. “Sorry, didn’t know he’d wake up. He was fine with the antiseptic.”

Well, that didn’t sound like Yuu. Yuu hated antiseptic. He would rather get an infection than go through that specific kind of hell. Deuce was a bitchass liar.

The chalkboard feeling was back! Why?!

He realized that Ace was trying to drag his bone out and frowned. He needed those. Bones are, usually, pretty important.

And stealing his bones was even more offensive when Yuu remembered that Ace hates the taste of bone marrow. Either Ace had decided to steal his bones for the fun of it or he was making a mistake.

Which one of those sounded more likely?

Well, it was actually pretty close, but if Yuu had to guess…

“You fucked up – I mean. Um. Messed! Messed up,” Yuu informed him.

He wanted to turn and press his face into Deuce’s shoulder and hide from Ace’s evil fucking – tools, whatever they may be… Yuu was not intent on opening his eyes any time soon, even the light peeking through his eyelids was enough to give him a headache – but Deuce was actively restraining him, so fuck that. Mean people preventing Yuu from moving away from Ace don’t deserve anything resembling affection, ever.

“Yuu!”

Oh, right, he had been in the middle of a conversation.

“Mmm?” he said, which wasn’t much of a response, but it seemed to be enough.

“You said,” Ace began, sounding like he was trying very hard to keep his voice level. “That I fucked up.”

“That doesn’t sound like me,” Yuu frowned. “I don’t swear.”

Ace made a strangled sound. Or, rather, a ‘I want to strangle you’ sound. “How am I currently messing up?!”

“Oh…” Yuu thought about it. “You’re, like… holding my bone. Stop that.”

Ace did. Which redeemed him, if only slightly. He sighed, deeply. “I thought you said you knew first aid?”

Yuu absolutely did not know first aid, and had never claimed otherwise. Did Ace know him at all?

“Well,” someone else began to speak. Yuu remembered he was not the only person to exist. Which felt fake and wrong, but okay. He tried to narrow his eyes so he could discern who the mysterious other person was, but his eyes were closed, so this did very little to help him. He was forced to pay attention to their voice, instead. “It’s a little different when you have to guide someone else through it because you’ve been stabbed in the wrist.”

Ohhhh. Radio GuyTM (Yuu was blanking on his name and, frankly, didn’t care enough to try and remember it right now). He sounded more than a little bitter. Ugh. Radio GuyTM. Fuck him, he deserves to feel bitter right now. Yuu may not be sure why he hated this guy right now, but it was very important to him that he continued to do so.

Why does Radio GuyTM get to be here and Yuu’s baby is nowhere to be seen (or, heard, rather)?!

“Where’s Grim?” Yuu whined.

“Outside,” Radio GuyTM said shortly. “No zombies allowed in here.”

“Kill yourself,” said Yuu, just as short.

“Not feeling it today, maybe tomorrow,” said Radio GuyTM.

Yuu nodded his understanding slowly. That made sense. He will ask again tomorrow. Establishing boundaries with new people is important, after all!

Radio GuyTM (yes, he would keep doing the trademark, those are – probably – difficult to get!) gave a little huff of laughter, which petered out into a sigh. “Okay, if you were grabbing his bone, you’re probably too high, try a little lower.”

This time, Ace was successful in getting the bullet out of Yuu’s shoulder. Yuu kind of wanted it back. He felt lonely without it.

What did he just say?

Okay, Yuu officially had weirded out himself. Blood loss is a bitch.

“Stitching doesn’t have to be super complex, if things go well he’ll do all the healing himself, we just need to pull his skin back together so his body doesn’t have to do as much work. Also to – like – keep the blood in.”

Ew. There has to be a less gross-sounding way to describe that.

“We’ll cut the thread out once he’s healed enough.”

In hindsight, they probably should have picked up sewing instead of crocheting, because Ace struggled…

Wait.

Noooooo, Yuu wouldn’t be able to knit for ages! Grim’s booties! His poor little toe-pads!

He was so upset about not being able to provide for his little darling who deserved the world (but was settling for Japan, for now) that he almost didn’t notice how much it did not feel good to get stitched up. It was still a lingering thought in the back of his head, because ow and ew and ugh, but there were far more pressing matters. Like being depressed.

He was depressed right up until he realized that Ace was tying off the last bandage.

Oooooh, sweet, Yuu can finally sleep in peace now.

Deuce finally let go, but Yuu did not pay this any mind. Deuce made a relatively comfortable pillow, actually. And he had to get revenge on him for… something. Probably. Deuce was always doing shit.

Just as Ace was always saying shit:

“If you die in your sleep I’m going to let Grim bite you.”

In the name of scientific discovery, surely.

Except, no, Ace didn’t even try and play that angle for plausible deniability: “Death can’t have you yet. You’re mine, okay? I have dibs.”

Yuu squinted his eyes open. The world was painfully bright, but he forced himself to keep them open anyway, for he had something important he must impart upon it. He looked around, taking in nervous and weary faces, until his eyes found Ace’s.

“You’re so cringe,” he told him.

Ace didn’t even bother getting playfully offended. He gave a halfhearted laugh and almost fell forward, burying his face in Yuu’s neck.

“Never do that shit again,” Deuce mumbled.

Yuu huffed. “I didn’t ask to get shot.”

Ace started to sit up again.

Yuu was quick to grab him by the shirt with his good arm. His grip was definitely weak (he assumed it would be for a while?), but Ace didn’t break it. Haha. Local scrawny loser gets put in affection jail.

As if hearing his internal monologue, Ace sent him a glare.

“Nap time,” Yuu said. “You can always kill him later.”

Radio GuyTM – Cater, his name was Cater! – looked like he did not entirely appreciate Yuu’s priorities.

Yuu closed his eyes again. He hated dissenters, no need to pay attention to them.

Cater did not get the memo. “Uh, can we not kill me, ever?”

“Nap time,” Yuu said again.

“Can we at least move a little so I’m more comfortable?” Deuce complained.

Yuu did not bother repeating himself. The fact that he decidedly did not move was answer enough.

Deuce gave a long-suffering sigh and gave up.

Good.

Nap time.

~~~~~

Pt8>

[leavingsunsets]

"What a shiny car."

You find Kalim injured and tend to him, with a twist.

(Just a drabble fic for a mootie.)

Shenanigans were a norm in NRC.

There'd be Adeuce and grim causing a ruckus, the tweels running about, and the voice of Sebek being heard a mile away. Really, despite how wild it all is, nobody takes it that seriously.

I mean, at the end of the day, they have their housewardens to keep them in line, and reign them in when things go too far. What's to worry about, right?

...

A lot of things, actually.

Scarabia was in chaos.

You see, Jamil's not here. Already a very bad sign. He's been in the clinic since getting into an incident during basketball practice. And so, due to a coincidence and an inconvenient conversation, you were to assist Kalim in his place instead. He only allowed it because he was only going to be gone for an hour or so.

Problem is, Kalim is nowhere to be found.

So, right now, you were in the middle of dodging magic spells being thrown left and right. You tried to deescalate the situation, you really did, but it seems unless you were either a certain assertive dancer or a white haired merchant's son, they didn't care what you had to say.

You hiss a curse under your breath, crawling across the ground like a soldier in the trenches. Kalim was usually present whenever everyone gathered, and that fact that he wasn't made you even more worried.

But finally, after 5 minutes of crawling, you get to the mirror. You quickly pass through it, but not before a pen hits your back as you hurry out.

------

Heaving, you're bent over, hands on your knees as you try to catch you breath. It would've been relieving to know you're out, but the emergency isn't over. So, with a groan, you think over where Kalim could possibly be.

"Uhh, c'mon, think brain, think."

....

"Maybe the light music club?"

Well, there's not much time for hesitation now, so.

Soon enough, you find your way there, and burst through the door.

"KALIM, THE DORM'S-"

Kalim lies buried under a cabinet, only his hand is out. And you could tell it was him because he was holding a drumstick. The literal stick, not the chicken leg, but I'm sure there wouldn't have been a difference anyway. Or would it? A chicken drumstick on the ground would be a much more concerning matter. A devastating waste of food. Anyways, back to the injured boy.

Alarmed, you immediately rush to push the cabinet off him. It doesn't move it much, but it's enough for him to wriggle out.

"Kalim! Are you okay?" you blurt out worriedly, helping him get up on his feet.

"I'm fine!" he reassures, chuckling nervously as he takes your hand. "Just might have rocked too hard a little is all, hehe." the boy even does a little laugh as if he wasn't buried under a 7 foot cabinet a few minutes ago. "Oh, but you were yelling something awhile ago. Did you need me for something?

"Yes, actually, and since you're fine, we need to go now." taking his hand, you start dragging him out the room, and out to the courtyard.

"Wh- Huh? But where are we going?" Kalim questions, stumbling along despite his confusion.

"There dorms in chaos right now. I tried to fix it but they just won't listen to me! Some are trying to help but-"

Suddenly, a vehicle crashes through the hallway in front of you. Dust from the rubble get all up in your faces, sending both of you into a coughing fit.

However, the moment the dust clears, you see it is a blue chevy equinox! And it's coming straight towards you!

You stumble out of it's way in a hurry, tripping on the grass. Kalim was less fortunate, having been blinded by the lights, and screams as the car vrooms toward him.

He collides with the vehicle, rolling on the hood with broken yelps. The driver doesn't even stop, they just keep driving until they crash into another building.

Then, a familiar voice speaks up from afar.

"What the fuck?"

Standing by the corner, is Jamil, frozen in place at the sight of a bruised Kalim groaning on the ground and your figure right beside rubble and a busted wall.

Crowley also takes a sudden appearance beside him, about to chide Jamil for his language until he sees the crashed hole in the wall.

He starts screaming something something about insurance while Jamil rushes toward you both.

"I swear to the SEVENS I can't keep my eyes off you for 5 MINUTES." He hisses through gritted teeth, brows furrowed in annoyance. He helps Kalim up while you try to pat the dust off your clothes.

"What happened?" The boy queries, putting an arm around a disoriented Kalim to lead to the clinic.

"A very long story."

Jamil sighs.

[troycattribunny]

Sex with ducks~ a crack fic

A/n: this is a crack fic inspired by the fanfic "odile" on ao3. This is meant to be funny and nothing more. Assume everything in this fic except Malleus being able to marry Ahiru because she is a duck is legal. That's the only reason Malleus can't marry Ahiru in this fic. (Also sorry for the weird formatting I'm on mobile) @enraged-fanby-and-co read my fic! I worked hard on it!

The queen of thorns once said to little Malleus "there's a slippery slope to legalizing sex with ducks if two men can stand side by side". At the time Malleus didn't understand what she had meant but did understand that sex with ducks would probably be a bad thing.

Now, he hoped to God that was true! If that was he'd make gay marriage legal as soon as he was crowned king of briar valley.

It wasn't entirely his fault that Ahiru was also cute in her duck form! She was also cute in her human form, but seeing how she was just a duck and not really a human it was probably best to legalize marriage with ducks. Which is great if he just has to legalize gay marriage. That seems easy enough.

"What do you think, Lilia."

The attendant looked very perplexed and slightly horrified, "I am all for legalizing gay marriage for briar valley, but I don't..." He trailed off trying to find the right words "I get..." Finally he seemed to have found the words "i-i don't think you should legalize sex with ducks"...

Malleus tilted his head, "why not? How else am I going to marry Ahiru? That's the whole reason I'm even legalizing gay marriage." Lilia shook his head, "I just..." Maybe he shouldn't have his lord pursue his first love at this rate. "I mean I guess not all ducks are as cute as Ahiru... But if I can't marry Ahiru then what's the point." Lilia started a sentence "I mean there's no reason to legalize sex with ducks-" "no! I have to marry Ahiru! So I have to legalize sex with ducks! Which starts with legalizing marriage between two men and two women! Since they're one and the same."

Lilia started to regret all his life choices that led to him following his lord who was acting like a love sick school girl whilst talking about a duck. Granted that duck did have a human body at the moment...

No, he couldn't get over the idea that his young master was in fact thinking of Ahiru's bird form.

"We'll do it in the rain! Well find a pond, no, even a puddle! I'll kiss her beak and cuddle!" Oh God he was! "Do you only like her duck form?!" He was desperate here to stop his young master from thinking such thoughts about a duck. Tears were starting to form in his eyes, okay! He did not want to hear about his young master's lust for a duck, at least have it be her human form.

"Of course not! It's just her natural form, which is why I must legalize gay marriage! I need to marry Ahiru."

Ahiru, bless her heart, ran over to them. "Malleus! Thanks again for helping me yesterday with my math homework." God she was so sweet, she didn't deserve to hear the awful things malleus was talking about just moments before. For all her flaws she would be a benevolent queen. Granted though she was a duck... Oh no! Lilia was not going to entertain this thought any longer! She had a human form, there was no reason to legalize marriage with ducks to marry her!

"Ah~ Lilia I just love her so much. She's so cute and kind and self sacrificing. She'd make a wonderful queen, wouldn't she?" Lilia nodded... He had just agreed she would make a good queen, after all. She was kind and helpful and even asked for help with her faults. She learned fast and tried her best. To say the people wouldn't adore her would be lying.

" I'm gonna goose that goose!" No... "gonna quack that swan" why... Why does he say that with such a love sick look on his face!

"Gonna rubber my duckie all night long" Lilia pleaded in his mind, please shut up. Tears began to prick his eyes again at the sheer embarrassment of what horrifying things the crown prince was spilling out of his mouth. "Gonna whack that mallard 'til its feathers plume" despite the gross things he was saying, Malleus had a love sick expression on his face.

"Gonna Huey, Dewey, Louie all over the room." Lilia began pounding his head onto the wall not even deciding to ask what the duck that meant... Oh God now even he was making duck puns. Someone save him.

"Oh ducky~, I'm gonna give it to you" Lilia couldn't help it, as Malleus continued to say the worst things imaginable with a love sick expression and his back against the wall, Lilia began to pound his head harder into the wall.

"Dive into your gold until you say... Duck Tales, whoo hoo" w- what...

"Ducks, sex with ducks

We'll do it in the rain

Ducks, yeah, ducks

Those feathered bodies are insane

We'll find a pond, we'll find a puddle

I'll be the wind beneath your wings and we'll cuddle

It's a feeling I can't name

When sex with ducks and gay marriage

Are one and the same

One and the same~"

[viole-santori]

Des will be making an appearance in this fanfiction I'm writing that I kindly and stupidly forgot to reblog onto my own side blog 😭 🦂

YUURI'S UNIVERSE FIC!!! :D 🌸

This is a fanfic that will be slow to update but will cover, in theory, Yuuri's entire "AU" or "version" of the Twisted Wonderland Main Story filled with alternate moments from canon, new moments, and side original characters including my own @viole-santori!

Please consider checking it out and leaving kudos or commenting (I love comments and I always try to reply to them!). Any type of support is appreciated!!) ^^

As always, please check the tags before reading! <3

[thegoldencontracts]

Masterlist (Azul Ashengrotto)

Fics

To Comfort - Hurt/Comfort, Reader Gives Azul a massage

Bridal Style - Fluff, Reader Bridal Carries Azul

Let's Play! - Fluff, Board Game Night With Azul

Too Late - Hurt/Comfort + Fluff, Azul accidentally sends you an embarrassing text

Kiss Kiss K.O~! - Fluff, Kissing Azul until he faints

Of Much Importance - Second request, Azul being tryhard and you teasing him :)

Ugly-Cry- Azul angst along with hurt/comfort, no readerI

Irrationality, Love - Azul's in denial until an odd confession

Don't Question Me! - Azul x Reader First date fic

The Baby Picture - A drabble where you find a picture of baby Azul and he is not amused

A Tsundere - You think Azul's a tsundere. He thinks he's not. Who wins (Drabble)?

Complimentary - You compliment Azul to tease him (drabble)

Flustered!Azul and Leona - Two fics for the both of them, requested <3

(Not) A Love Triangle - An idea I got from a post about the reader, Azul, and Jamil's weird relationship; azul x reader, jamil hates his life

Octopus-Lover - Jeiazu 1.1k thingy if you like jeiazu talk to me no one likes jeiazu more than me i will move mountains for a fellow stan

Denial - A quick Jamiazu drabble with blushy azul and jamil who is smug yet a tad confused

Run-Off - An Azul & OC daughter Angst Fic, Azula belongs to @imafrealinrainbow478484 (please tell me if the tag annoys you btw ^^)

Secrets - Cute little fluff fic, you catch Azul being all sappy and flustered about you

On The House! - Fic about you realizing why Azul's giving you free stuff

A Turn-Table - You turn Azul's flirting on him and he gets all flustered

A Touch Too Far - Hurt No Comfort, you try the breakup prank on Azul and it does NOT go well

Cuddled up - Smothering azul in cuddles and praising him

Tsundere!Twst - Housewardens x Reader but THEY'RE the tsunderes now

Cruel Rejection - Azul works up the courage to ask you out. It doesn't go too well.

What Do You Want? - You offer Azul a deal. He doesn't believe you.

Not Staring - Azul can't admit he's staring at you. How odd. Adorable, though.

Cute - People find Azul intimidating, snide, infurating, competent, stern and- Cute?

Because-! - Azul saves you from drowning, and he's rather furious. Why?

Headcannons

Azul Kiss HCs - What it says on the tin, pure fluff

Schrodinger's Horror - Fluff HCs, Watching Horror Movies with Azul

Azul & Ex-Queen-Bee!Reader - Third request, HCs, what it says on the tin

Housewardens With A Tsundere Reader (Part 1) - Azul and a tsundere reader

Housewardens React To Being Ignored As A Prank - You ignore him as a prank, a bit angsty.

Overblotters with a Fairy-Godmother Yuu - No romance, overblotters with an MC that behaves and has powers like a fairy godmother.

Imagines

Azul in love - A cute little imagine about Azul being in love with you and flounding

He is... - Crackfic based on twst fanon stuff that i don't really find accurate

Flustered!Dormheads - What it says on the tin, short but sweet little thing

Plus-Sized Azul in NRC - Angsty scenario of plus-sized!azul

Overblotters When A Guy Flirts With You - What it says on the tin, mild angst.

Azul And Envy - Some thoughts on Azul being envious of others, complete with a fluffy ending.

Jealous!Dormheads - An overall look at dormheads and jealousy. Mostly fluffy.

Housewarden!Kisses - How does he kiss? How does he like to be kissed?

Twst Guys Confessing - How would he confess to you?

Pranking the Housewardens - How fun is he to prank?

Pining Dormheads - How he pines; the bits of affection that show even before a relationship.

With A Tsundere - You're a tsundere. But guess what? He is too.

How The Housewardens Show Their Love - How does he show you he loves you?

Analyses

Every Single Talent Azul Has -Self-Explanatory; always open to corrections, additions, or requests for more detailed citation

Is Azul Kind? - A theory based off of Azul's Platinum vignette

Every Unethical Act Azul Has Committed (And Why None Of Them Were Actually Illegal) - Also Self-Explanatory, I'm not a lawyer so I'd appreciate corrections

Can Azul Love? - A bit of my thoughts on the matter.

Jamiazu Ramble - Some thoughts on Jamil's feelings for Azul in the ship.

Twst Guys and Hugs - How do they prefer to give or receive hugs?

Incorrect Quotes

Mixed Messages

[the-banana-0verlord]

mm as I saw that the requests are open, I had this idea, well I would like headcanons for rook, vil , jamil, lilia with an s/o who has an overprotective little sister (she thinks that nobody is good enough for her older sister) and is a little mean with strange, thk <3 have a nice day :))

I feel like the characters have more chemistry with the sister than with the reader but anyways-

Thank you for the request and here it is!

How the twst boys would react to a S/O who has an overprotective little sister

Note:gn reader, a bit of a crackfic. God forbid I write Vil's surname correctly.

💅💅💅

Vil Schoenheit

💅Him? not good enough for you? Yeah, sure.

💅Tries to ignore your sister as much as he can.

💅But when she gets too insistent, he replies with: “If I'm not good enough for them, what makes you think you are?”

💅That shuts her right up.

💅She finally learns to respect and even admire the boy.

💅He teaches her how to do makeup and kickass.

💅Congrats, now you have two bodyguards.

🦇🦇🦇

Lilia Vanrouge

🦇Sometimes you wonder if he dates you just to bicker with your sister.

🦇Come to think of it, her and Sebek are basically the same.

🦇Absolutely loves to spook her.

🦇But after a well run prank war,(that you were in the middle of) she accepts him in the family.

🦇He sometimes bring her souvenirs from his trips.

🐍🐍🐍

Jamil Viper

🐍The embodiment of the “What's with this sassy... lost child?” meme.

🐍Don't get him wrong, he knows how to deal with children, he practically raised Kalim, but this is a whole other thing.

🐍He tries his best to be nice, give her gift, etc.

🐍Yet he can't have a moment alone with you without her watching you like a hawk.

🐍The last braincell stopping him from going apeshit is about to snap.

🐍Turns out all he had to do was cook because damn did she get nice when he made your family wet burgers.

🐍His brain still fails to comprehend what happened.

🏹🏹🏹

Rook Hunt

🏹I mean, it's not hard to get weirded out by this man.

🏹Acts like he's sad about it but he actually finds it very funny.

🏹You absolutely know he does, too.

🏹His poems worsen it.

🏹At one point she tries to sabotage him with a prank.

🏹Knowing she'd come, he surprised her there. He promised to not tell if she doesn't too.

🏹Little did she knew he had turned her prank against her.

🏹Now she has a fearful respect for him, leaving you puzzled and him positively smug.

***

Hope you enjoyed it!

Have a good day/night!

[h3apm3ch4n151m]

I'm buyin' us something

I saw a Tumblr post and I just wanted to convert it to Floyd Leech lmao Crackfic, Fluffy, short story You and Floyd are all grown up and have a child You choose ur child's name lmao but I'll be putting (_____) as the child lmao gn!reader

"Floyd, why are you scrolling through an online shopping website?" The sound of the mouse clicking can be heard while Floyd was staring at the screen of the laptop intently.

You're holding (_____) as you speak, softly eating her hands while leaning onto your chest. "I'm buyin' me and (_____) something." He continues to scroll. You look at the laptop's reflection and see his eyebrows knitted. You would think he was angry, but he was smiling.

"Awwwwee, but what bout me?" You playfully pout and laugh. But he doesn't respond. Well, you're just gonna leave it to Floyd.

"I'm back!" You announce as you closed the door, removing your shoes and replacing them with your slippers.

No answer. Maybe they're asleep upstairs. You enter your bedroom

"Floyd what the..." A banana suit. He wore a banana suit. He picks up (_____) from the table, and you see (_____) having a banana suit as well.

"Is this... is this what you said you'd buy?" He looks at you with a smile and grabs something from the big bed. "I got one for you as well."

Floyd walks proudly as the three of you walk to a market while rearing your banana suit. A lot of people looked at you with awe because of your cuteness.

Oh, Floyd isn't the only one who can buy matching clothes. You were sure you were gonna get revenge.

[cupids-chamber]

PLEASE READ

LET'S TALK, I've done this rant before but it seems people can't take a hint. Thought I'm grateful to receive attention, I think people need to learn the, ever so shocking truth.. that writers are people?!

Each time I release a fic, which is practically every day, I get my asks filled with requests, which is bothersome already, but it quite upsets me because in my pinned, it says and clearly states that my requests are closed. Not to mention that, you can clearly see that people legitimately don't read my pinned or rules when they send these requests (Yes I can tell, it's not that hard) and or the requests come off demanding, so instead of a request it sounds like an order.

Now you may be thinking, "Cupid, can't you just delete the requests?" To that I answer, yes and I have but you fail to see how this impacts me. I'm actually online, almost always and I do see your asks when you send them, but these sort of requests have deflated me to the point where I legit cant write anymore and or have the energy to talk with anyone. If you were to check my tumblr status, it would always say I'm online right now however, because of this happening frequently, it's ruining my personal tumblr experience and I've been here for about an year and have dealt with quite difficult situations, but it has never made me feel this bad.

Because, this shows how much respect an average fanfic writer lacks, please be kind to your writers and be polite when you requests, where artists are praised for their talent (They deserve all of it, I'm serious my artist friends have hands of God I tell you) and meme's/incorrect quote posts are almost always at the top of the tags with quite little effort compared to writing (I'm using the term compared, specifying this since people always find a way to cause a scene) and praised for being funny. Writer's are quite on the shelf when you think about it.

When requesting an art piece that is free, people make sure to ask rather politely and most of the times, they have something nice to say to the artist, once again they deserve it but compared to a writer who keeps requests open, even if they do commissions. We still lack this sort of respect, were providing free content, but it's much less appreciated then other things.

Let me provide another point, from my most popular deuce fic is a crackfic of Deuce discovering chocolate milk, didn't come from brown cows and my latest one is this a yandere fic with a wordcount of 2k, crackfics which took little to no effort on my part, is much more popular than a fic which I spent serious time and effort on. (Both are x readers)

And if that wasn't enough, let's touch the aspect of reblogs a bit.. (Reblogs are what help get posts on the top of tags and or attention in general) I've seen multiple blogs, which reblogged incorrect quote's and maybe even art (Mostly just twst incorrect quotes), but they don't reblog other works, (I'm not attacking meme blogs, they're funny as hell) but If you like something you should reblog it! (Including art), please I've seen many many good writers, fall down hill just because they don't get that attention, since they're so new! Hell I have side blogs other then my spam, in which I reblog a lot of writers & artists works, sometimes I'll reblog a particular post 5 times!

Since I'm going the rabit hole of everything wrong with how writers are treated compared to other contributors in fandoms.. new writers have to deal with ass, I was a new writer at one point, and I've had many side blogs that I do not share on my main blog, and I do not connect the two together. AND LET ME TELL YOU.. You have not seen disrespect when it comes to requests and asks, unless you are a new writer in huge and medium sized fandoms, small ones give you least amount of attention but they appreciate you since well the fandoms so dry of content!

Also nsfw writers, let's talk about them. (I'm not a Nsfw writer but I'm friends with a lot of them, and no I do not read adult blogs content, I only read their fluff, I respect that mdni sign with all my heart) JUST BECAUSE THEY WRITE NSFW DOESNT MEAN THEY'RE A PEDO, just because A WRITER IS 18 AND LIKES A CHARACTER WHO'S 17 DOES NOT MAKE THEM A PEDO, It's fictional, someone I knew got called a Pedo all over for liking Azul as a 18 year old, and they only wrote fluff for him. And also, just because they write Nsfw is not a valid reason to attack them, now if they wrote shotacon and you know things that generally is wrong then there is a reasonable reason to call them out? But when you attack someone for writing nsfw in general, and or hate of them for that. It's stupid, I've seen so many users genuinely hurt by the hate, and others play it off, but it really shouldn't be played off! Also by doing this, it takes away from the actual impact of the word pedo, it's a sensitive topic don't throw it around. Also on that note, many Nsfw writers are actually asexual! (From blogs I've seen in the past, and people I've met) so.. keep that in mind.

I'm beginning to see how off topic I went in this rant, but it's been eating me alive not talking about it. So let's talk about it.. If your against me in any part of this, and have an actual valid argument please feel free to inbox me about it, I know I may be in the wrong, it's just what I've personally seen and want to say, but I'd be more than happy to correct it, if I'm in the wrong. If I do get hate for mentioning this then I'll ignore you. (Most likely, unless I feel the need to add onto something or provide input/context to your ask)

Happy reading, enjoy your night/day!

EDIT: Just found out quick reblogging exists, what is your excuse now, like I'm genuinely asking. If reblogging hurts your precious aesthetic (I say, as I'm a very aesthetic oriented person.. make a side blog!)

[tartstealingknave]

Self aware!twst with a streamer reader:3

"Stitch's tropical Turbulence"

Inspo here !! <3 (I srsly love RoseEmber's videos, the vids r always so funny 😭😭)

Always, this is just like the first one with the streamer!reader, expect, this one is in the event!! I'll do the "cloudcalling on the savanna" event after this,I'll wait 4 the "The nightmare before Christmas" event cause I rlly like skully j graves...hes so silly..‼️

CONTENT: Azul and lilia brought the others in monge lounge (I think that's the spelling) to discuss abt the recent event!!

Azul: okay so, we are here to discuss about the event that happened with us!

Lilia: yeah, the event were we were stuck in a beach, and we had to sign a contract to azul..

Azul: it's still a decent contract, plus it's just one week, don't worry.

Ace: yeah.. "One week" of getting told to do something... Agh...

Jack: I'm still uncertain about azul's contract, sure it's pretty "harmless"

Azul: I'm hurt, you really think I'm going to do something horrible? Oh please, I'm not a monster Jack.

Riddle: I still cannot believe I was the one with the flower lei..

Ace: don't be such a partypooper riddle, plus we were at a BEACH. Actually, a beach of a deserted island.

Ace: it's like you're telling me wearing a uniform to the beach is normal, but eh, maybe you're right on the "flower lei" part.

Floyd: eh, goldfishie, you looked funny with that flower lei though.

Floyd: though I still remember what azul said to me about my attire when I said something about his..

Azul: well it's was honestly true, you said I looked like a shady man, we honestly surprised yuu alongside them.

Azul: I think they said "why is everyone roasting each other?! Oh my god!" I think it was pretty funny.

Floyd: you're right Azul! Their reaction was priceless.

Floyd: and what do you mean so "suspect" ? You looked like one of those shady business dealers!

Azul: you can't talk when you have your shirt unbuttoned in the event, it made you look like you got "fan service" as they, the player would say.

Lilia: alright! Alright! Stop fighting, even though you guys looked hilarious fighting, can we stop?

Azul: you also cannot be talking about Fanshion sense when you just said "yuu! How do I look?! Do I look adorable as I ought to be?!" And you looked pleased when they said yes to your question.

Lilia: at least they were being honest about it, now stop fighting, let's just change topics shall we?

Floyd: ugh fine, azul you're lucky.

Riddle: speaking of changing topics, I just remember about how lilia fell down from the sky.. It was loud.

Riddle: how much do you even weight? It was heavy. A heavy impact on that.

Lilia: hehe, it's none of your problem, plus, I don't need no broom to fly, a fae like me doesn't need it as I said, it's just a quick hop! Surely would have known that ages ago.

Lilia: maybe he forgot when leona's overb-

Jack: we don't talk about that situation! We also don't talk about the O word.

Riddle: I wish lilia could have had actually go to school to get help, since that would have meant we would have never signed a contract..

Azul: we know it's your worst nightmare, riddle.

Floyd: yet we couldn't turn into merform, it would have been much faster and more effective if we could have turned into merform.

Jack: oh god, I still don't like that merform of yours, it freaks me out.

(IDK IF IT DOES BUT THE VIDEO SAID EARLIER THAT JACK DOESN'T LIKE FLOYD AND JADE A LITTLE SO😭)

Floyd: hehe, shrimpy's reactions to azul's contract will never fail to amuse me.

Azul: right, it seems that they hate signing my contracts, how sad..

Riddle: I would be too.

Ace: kinda funny when they said "they gotta arrest Azul when their back on campus".

Azul: those words did make me laugh though.

Floyd: right! Shrimpy is so funny hehe.

That's the uhh end:3 it's kinda short... (I'm still making shameless!reader okay)

[yourfavepookiebear]

I saw that your requests were open under the "self aware twst" tag, may I ask your rules and character limit?<3

My character limit ? Idk really know 2hqt that is, but I'm guessing It means how many Characters I can write at once ? I think, probably 4-5, it depends.

I don't do smut, but I can do yandere and stuff. Not too much gore tho. I can also write fluff, crackfics, hcs, scenarios, and stuff like that.

I can write for male, gender neutral, and fem reader, but pls don't request too many complicated things most of the time I can't even understand it 😭 and that's all ? I think, thanks for asking pookie !

[lizardaggro]

gimme writing ideas please!!

why hello internet. the name's lizardaggro. quite the mouthful, i know. i come before you now to beg of thee to share with this poor soul some of thy boundless creativity. tldr: gimme asks plz.

i will write for both bnha/mha and twst. i'll do yandere, crackfics, and anything in between, but i won't write any smut, sorry. i'll do x readers, and i can write something with people's ocs if you have enough info about them. i have my own ocs too of course but idk if anyone cares. not touching cc x cc with a 50 ft pole cuz i don't wanna make people mad.

yes this post is entirely in purple as it is my favorite color. if you don't believe me just look at my blog. i completely scummed my way through html just to have my favorite font, so ya better like it.