#two of them aren't his fault but they had an impact and so count

[badassbutterfly1987]

There's nowhere to run

It's too late to turn back.

Make the sacrifices count.

[storiesofamoment]

𝔻𝕚𝕝𝕦𝕔 | Sway

*↷◌ Info:

||Character: Diluc ||Origin: Genshin Impact ||Word Count: 3,560 ||Musical Inspiration: Sway by Michael Bubblé ||Synopsis: [Y/N] is a well-known singer in Mondstadt, and regularly performs at Diluc's tavern. The two are said to be good friends, but wouldn't they have a more intimate relationship when the doors are closed?

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Tonight, at Angel's Share, Mondstadt's iconic tavern, an unusual event was going to take place inside. On the ground floor, a small stage had been set up, with a few instruments resting on it. Then, at the front, in the center, a solitary microphone. This small set-up intrigued the new customers, wondering about the reason for this different decor than usual. But the regulars of the small tavern knew what was going to happen. Every other Friday night, a singer with a honeyed voice came to do her show, occasionally filling the tavern with customers who were fond of her singing.

For Diluc, bartender and owner of this warm place, the arrival of this singer allowed him to come and boost his takings if the week had not been flourishing enough for him. Of course, that was not the only reason why he particularly appreciated these evenings. But being true to himself, Diluc would never admit the effect this female presence had on him, at least, not in public.

[Y/N] POV:

The tavern was slowly starting to fill up, creating a joyful hubbub within it. Diluc was at the counter, cleaning glasses or serving drinks. His serious look even in this party atmosphere made me smile. Rare are the moments when I was able to see him smile, but I cherish them like nothing in the world. My gaze continued its path from his face to this flaming red hair, giving him a wild and elegant look at the same time. Then my eyes went down the back of his neck to reach his muscular and yet, full of finesse torso. I couldn't take my eyes off this captivating silhouette.

"Stop staring at him like that, you're going to drool [Y/N]." said one of my musicians laughing.

I turned around, letting out a slight sigh before answering him somewhat hurt.

"It's not my fault if he's handsome! How could you not want to admire this charming profile? "I said, a slight smile on my lips, casting one last glance at this marble face.

"Haha, no but look at those languid eyes. Doesn't our dear [Y/N] have a little crush on the distant and mysterious bartender?" added another musician.

I frowned and looked away from Diluc while crossing my arms.

"I don't see what makes you say that. Come on, enough chatter, we're going to go on stage soon!"

The little troupe exchanged a few knowing glances before laughing. A smirk appeared on my lips before I took the handle of the back door, making us enter directly next to the small stage. We had barely passed the doorstep when all the eyes of the tavern turned towards us, becoming the center of attention. It must also be said that we were rather chic. Each of the musicians wore a cream three-piece suit, all accompanied by a pastel pink bow tie. For my part, I had opted for a black satin dress with a boat neck. This dress delicately enveloped my body, softening the curves of my body. Finally, I wore pastel pink lace gloves, going up to the elbow, reminiscent of the musicians' bow tie. The whole thing was quite minimalist, while having elegance.

We smiled at the whole room, delighted to see that thereweree still so many people ready to come and listen to us; it warms the heart. While the musicians were settling in, I could hear the murmurs that would run through the tavern about us. Murmurs of excitement, of questioning, of apprehension. It was then that I placed myself in front of the microphone,an tested if the sound was working, and the tavern fell silent, impatient to know how the evening would go.

"Good evening everyone! I see that, tonight again, there are many of us and we are impatient for the evening to begin, aren't we? " I said into the microphone, smiling because of the excitement that was starting to build.

"YEAH! " shouted the entire tavern in a burst of joy and good humor.

"Haha, good good. I see that everyone is in good shape again tonight. Well, let's start without further delay with the first song which is dedicated to the person who knew how to make my heart beat with passion, who knew how to make my skin shiver with pleasure, and who with a simple touch inflamed my entire being with the great fire that is love. I chose the song Sway! "

Following this declamation, a wave of whistles ran through the audience intrigued to know who this lucky chosen one was. I took the opportunity to cast a furtive glance in Diluc's direction. The latter remained impassive in front of the counter, taking care of the customers; he didn't even deign to look at me. But I knew that my words hadn't left him so indifferent, although he showed the opposite. The tips of his ears as well as his cheekbones took on a slightly pink tint, a very discreet change, but one that didn't escape my eyes. Seeing this reaction in Diluc, I turned my attention back to the room, a satisfied smile stuck to my lips.

"Musicians!"

They exchanged a look, all smiling and immediately began to play the melody. I took a deep breath and calmed my breathing by closing my eyes for a few seconds, before starting to sing even more beautifully.

« . »

When marimba rhythms start play Dance with me, make me sway Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore Hold me close, sway me more

Like a flower bending in the breeze Bend with me, sway with ease When we dance, you have a way with me Stay with me, sway with me

Other dancers may be on the floor Dear, but my eyes will see only you Only you have that magic technique When we sway, I go weak

I can hear the sounds of violons Long before it begins Make me thrill as only you know how Sway me smooth, sway me now

Other dancers may be on the floor Dear, but my eyes will see only you Only you have that magic technique When we sway, I go weak

I can hear the sounds of violons Long before it begins Make me thrill as only you know how Sway me smooth, sway me now

When marimba rhythms start play Dance with me, make me sway Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore Hold me close, sway me more

Like a flower bending in the breeze Bend with me, sway with ease When we dance, you have a way with me Stay with me, sway with me

When marimba rhythms start play Dance with me, make me sway Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore Hold me close, sway me more

Like a flower bending in the breeze Bend with me, sway with ease When we dance, you have a way with me Stay with me, sway with me

« . »

At the end of my performance, I took the opportunity to wink at Diluc, hoping this time for a more pronounced reaction from the bartender. But unfortunately, it was not to be.

After only one song, the tavern was already boiling and asking for more. My companions and I couldn't stop smiling at the crowd's enthusiasm. I caught my breath before taking the microphone back in my hands.

"Do you want some more?"

A unanimous "Yes" emerged throughout the tavern, making us understand that the evening would not end there. It was then, after two or three sips of water, that the musicians started playing again, me accompanying them with my voice that resonated through all the walls of the small tavern.

Diluc's POV:

The first song had barely finished, and yet, the room was already asking for more. Out of the corner of my eye I had seen him wink at me, but I didn't react. At least, I didn't show it, because I knew very well that deep down, my heart was beating slightly faster against my ribcage simply because of that wink.

I continued to serve the customers who were numerous at the counter. Of course, Venti was there, but I fear that the 10 bottles of wine had gotten the better of his conscience. I sighed, discouraged, to see him slumped on a table in my tavern, still a bottle in his hand and an idiot's smile hanging on his lips. Sometimes I wonder if he is who he really claims to be; the archon Anemo. I shook my head from right to left in despair before resuming the task I was doing.

On the other side of the room, [Y/N] continued to sing more beautifully, without ever stopping. From time to time, I threw a few furtive glances in her direction while remaining as discreet as possible, not wanting to arouse any suspicions. And yet, the more I looked at her, the more difficult it was for me to detach my gaze from her silhouette. This sublime body was becoming intoxicating, and this face, an angel's face, which exudes tenderness and love. Her fine and delicate features, her eyes filled with a burning fire of passion, an her lips slightly pink from the lipstick made them even more delicious. And her voice, how could we not talk about it. The timbre of her voice could be both strong and soft, aggressive and tender, sensual and delicate. Her voice was comparable to nothing in this world, it was so unique and captivating. And that low, slow vibrato she could produce by reaching for a sound from deep within her; it gave me shivers of excitement. It's incredible the effect [Y/P] has on me.

I smiled tenderly as I watched her enjoy singing in front of this effervescent crowd. Lost in thought, I admired her peacefully before a certain voice that was a little too familiar pulled me out of my dreams.

"She's lovely, don't you think?" he said in a cheerful tone, his eyes fixed on [Y/N's] silhouette.

No need to raise my head to know who the voice belonged to. I simply decided to continue carrying out my various tasks without paying her too much attention.

"Don't you have anything else to do but come and drink in my tavern?"

"Hahaha, even visiting my brother is forbidden to me now? " he said with a glass of liqueur in his hand, his mischievous look never leaving his face.

I raised my head and glared at him. Not wanting to make the situation worse, I decided to just let him do it, after all, I had more important things to do at the moment.

"Well stay, if that suits you, but try to drink responsibly in my establishment. I don't want to find myself dealing with another drunk in my tavern."

He let out a small chuckle before nodding and walking away, his glass in his hand.

POV [Y/N] :

The evening was beginning to come to an end and the tavern had only a few customers left. Exhausted from this evening of celebration, I decided to go and sit down for a few moments at the counter to find my dear bartender. The musicians, for their part, had just gone home, just as exhausted from the evening. I sat down on one of the high chairs at the counter, and lovingly observed Diluc's serious face, focused on one task at a time. He raised his head in my direction, asking me what I would like to have. At that moment, my lips stretched into an affectionate smile, having eyes only for him.

"I'll get you a glass of whiskey, my dear."

As soon as I said my order, he got to work and finally served me my drink a few minutes later. I took a few sips of my liqueur before putting the glass back on the tavern's varnished counter. I looked up to have his face in my field of vision.

"So, what do you think of tonight's performance?" I asked, intrigued to know his impression tonight again.

"We can say once again that it was successful given the number of customers who gathered around you and the stage." he answered me, an indifferent look on his face. A sigh escaped my lips, somewhat disappointed by this lack of reaction. But hey, what did I expect, this is Diluc we're talking about. And yet, that's one of the reasons why my little heart fell for him.

"Still neutral from what I see. And what about my first song? Did it make your heart shiver with passion?" I questioned him again, this time a little mischievous grin at the corner of my mouth. It was at this moment that I could see the tips of his ears again, as well as his cheekbones very slightly taking on a pink tint. My smile widened, already knowing the answer to my question, but I still wanted to know what disinterested comment Diluc was going to give me.

"I don't see why a song would have such an effect on my heart condition [Y/N]. However, it's getting late, you should go home to rest. " his seriousness never left his face.

"Roooohhh la la, always so pragmatic I see. You could at least say that you enjoyed my singing instead of making derogatory remarks. " I sighed before taking another sip of my whiskey, finishing it at the same time.

"But, would the impassive bartender of the Angel's Share tavern be worrying about me by asking me to come home early?"

"Not necessarily. I'm more worried about working overtime."

"You know, it's not by remaining so cold that you're going to succeed in winning my heart." I answered dramatically, exaggerating the situation.

"Would you please stop your charade and go home? We're in public here, in the tavern." He said softly, casting furtive glances to the right and left to see if a customer was silently listening to the conversation.

"Haha, are you afraid that someone will misunderstand our relationship? Well, fine, I'm going home. I'll warm the bed while waiting for you, my darling~"

I whispered the last words in his ear before turning around to leave the tavern. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him blush, making me smile, satisfied. Only, I didn't suspect that a certain person had seen everything, and heard what's more.

"…"

Next morning

The few rays that passed through the bedroom curtain brushed my face, waking me up gently. Quietly, I opened my eyes, not wanting to be blinded by the morning light. I stretched out my arm next to me and felt the bed, but nothing. I only felt the remains of his body heat, as well as the few scents still present in the sheets. So I sat up on the bed before getting out.

As I headed towards the kitchen, a sweet smell of food filled my nostrils, making my mouth water. I quickened my pace in order to find myself in the kitchen as quickly as possible. When I arrived in the room, I was greeted by a Diluc at the stove, concentrating on every movement he made. A smile appeared on my lips and I walked towards him.

"Good morning Diluc. So, did you sleep well?" I told him with a little wink.

He raised his head and looked into mine, this time, I could clearly see the tenderness marrying the features of his face. As if, in a place hidden from view, even the most disinterested bartender could turn out to be tender and attentive to his better half. He smiled at me tenderly before putting what he was holding in his hands on the counter to get closer to me.

"Very well, and you my love?"

He slid his arms along my waist, pulling me closer to him. A stifled laugh came out of my mouth as I let him do it.

"Why didn't you wake me up when you came back? I didn't even get to kiss you goodnight."

"You were sleeping so peacefully. And then, you know that it is not advisable to wake up a sleeping angel, especially when the latter is called [Y/N]. But you can always give me a kiss to wish me a good day."

He placed a brief kiss on my forehead while tightening the embrace. This time, it was my turn to blush like a tomato. He has the gift of, with just a few words, making me capsize and lose my bearings. I buried my face in his chest so that he wouldn't see how much I could be mistaken for his flaming red hair. However, he must have surely noticed my shyness because, with my ear against his chest, I heard his ribcage resonate in a light laugh before he brought his lips close to my ears to whisper these few words to me

"I love you, [Y/N]."

To which I obviously answered in the affirmative, a childish smile on my face. Then, I raised my head and looked into his eyes. We both observed each other lovingly, neither wanting to break the embrace. My eyes went down slightly to rest on his thin, pink lips; so delicious that one wanted to bite into them. I placed my hands on each of his cheeks, and on tiptoe, placed my lips against his. He kissed me passionately as if it were still the first time. His arms closed more around my figure, leaving almost no space between our two bodies, while our lips danced in unison following a rapid rhythm. Hastily, this kiss became passionate and filled with love for the other, while keeping a form of tenderness. I took advantage of this intimacy to slide my hand along his back before reaching his buttocks. My hand caressed him before taking him firmly, sticking us closer. Faced with this initiative, Diluc gasped, visibly surprised by this action. I could even see a blushing Diluc, almost shy and embarrassed. But I must admit, seeing Diluc in this state for the first time made him so cute and sexy at the same time, and made me fall under his spell once again.

"Diluc, I was looking for you just to tell you that-"

Suddenly, we heard a male voice resonate in the room. We stopped dead before turning our faces towards the said voice. It was then that we saw a Kaeya, straight as an i, too shocked to say or do anything. A silence settled in the kitchen, a long silence heavy with meaning. No one said anything, but everyone understood the situation.

"I KNEW YOU WERE HAVING A BUSINESS WITH [Y/N]!"

Kaeya suddenly cried out, making Diluc and I jump. Then, another silence before I burst out laughing. Only, Diluc, himself, didn't find the situation as funny as I did. In the blink of an eye, he had resumed his serious and stern look while looking at his brother. For my part, I couldn't stop laughing, so perfect was the comedy of the situation. Obviously, even his own brother didn't know everything.

"You didn't even warn your brother? Hahaha, you really are heartless my dear Diluc."

I turned in Kaeya's direction, a perplexed look on my face. I wiped away a few tears of joy before continuing.

"We are much more than just a business, Kaeya."

As I said that, I showed him my left ring finger as well as Diluc's, now clearly showing our wedding rings. Kaeya's reaction was most entertaining. The latter expected anything but this ending, I think. Just seeing his six-foot-long face in shock, it was the last possibility. Diluc, on the other hand, didn't seem very happy that his brother learned the news. I smiled and kissed Diluc briefly before leaving the kitchen to give them a little moment to explain.

"Well, I think some explanations need to be done, in the meantime, I'm going to take a shower."

"You better explain to me why I didn't know Diluc."

As I quietly walked away from the kitchen, I stopped before intervening one last time.

"Ah, and no duel between brothers, huh, I'm counting on you my darling ~"

I finally left the room, a satisfied look on my face.

Not telling your brother about such a change, you have to do it anyway.

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[dndfantasygirl]

Amongst the Stars (Chapter 5: The Spark)

Rating: Mature Word count: 2.7k Pairing: Astarion x Female Tav (named)/OC Tags/Warnings: violence, strong language, innuendo, slow burn, little sister, Necromancy of Thay, fluff

Summary: Astarion and Skye discuss what they should do with the Necromancy of Thay. The sisters get into an argument.

*Link to AO3 Post

*Link to Previous Chapter

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Skye was confused over a man of all things. She was next in line to lead her circle. Men shouldn't have had this big of an impact on her. Surely, she was just tired, right?

In all honesty, it wasn't until they ran into a matriarch spider that the exhaustion finally set in. At some point, she was bitten by the giant arachnid and began to see three of everything. She was poisoned and didn't have an antidote. So, she dealt with it like she dealt with everything: she shrugged it off. Or at least, attempted to.

The air genasi heard a voice behind her, desperate and loud. Gods, the voice was loud. Her ears were ringing. Blood was soaking through her light armor. She turned her head to the source of the voice, causing her vision to go entirely black. She felt someone drag her over to safety and felt a bitter liquid pour down her throat. When she opened her golden eyes once more, she saw Shadowheart analyzing her.

"Good to see you're back to your old self. We need you." The half-elf stood up and extended her hand toward Skye. The air genasi took it, allowing Shadowheart to pull her to her feet. "As much as I hate to say it, you should thank Astarion. I had no clue you were bitten until he shouted for help," the cleric explained as they ran back toward the fight.

That was where the confusion set in. Sure, he saved Misty several times but not when his life was in jeopardy. It was her fault for getting bitten. She glanced behind her for a moment to make sure her companions weren't struggling and noticed Astarion was surrounded by baby spiders. Although they didn't cause much harm by themselves, getting swarmed by them was dangerous and Astarion knew this, yet once he saw her face grow pale, he stopped what he was doing to shout for help.

Once they joined their two other companions, Skye was ripped from her thoughts as Astarion was lying on the ground unconscious, still getting attacked by the baby spiders. A loud yell escaped from her mouth as she began to release arrows at the spiders. One by one they fell and she was finally able to reach her companion. Just as Shadowheart did to her moments earlier, Skye, pulled him to safety. She placed her hands on his chest and uttered a few words.

A light blue aura surrounded Astarion as she exhaled, watching the slightest bit of color return to his pale face. His crimson eyes fluttered open and she stared back, wondering why he'd done what he'd done.

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True to the journal's words, the key gem was found inside the depths of the well, a swirling amethyst pulsing with dark power. After retrieving it, they returned to where Gale and Lae'zel had set up camp. The wizard had just conjured a fire as Misty chased Scratch around the tents.

Skye walked over to a slab of stone Gale was using as a study table and slung her bag on top of it. She pulled the amethyst out of it and set it next to the fleshbound book. The air genasi took a deep breath, feeling a familiar cold presence approach from behind.

"Well," Astarion breathed as he leaned against the makeshift table. "Aren't you going to put the gem inside of it?"

"I still don't think this is a good idea, Star," Skye admitted, fidgeting with the amethyst. She could feel the magic pulsating within the gem, resonating with the dark aura emanating from the book. Her fingers traced the intricate patterns on the amethyst's surface, trying to calm her racing thoughts.

Astarion's eyes flickered with a hint of amusement as he studied her hesitation. "Oh, come now, darling. Where's your sense of adventure? Besides, it's not every day we get our hands on such a... unique artifact."

Skye sighed, her gaze shifting to the book. Its cover, made of some kind of grotesque, leathery material, seemed to pulse as if it were alive. She knew the power it held, the risks involved in merging the gem with the book, but she also knew they might not have another chance to unlock its secrets.

Gale looked up from his notes, sensing the tension between them. "Skye, you don't have to do this. There are other ways we can approach this problem." He turned to Astarion. "Like destroying the tome."

Skye appreciated Gale's concern, but she also understood the urgency of their quest. They had been searching for answers for too long, and this book might hold the key to everything. Taking a deep breath, she steadied herself and nodded. "No, we need to do this. It's the only way."

Astarion's lips curled into a satisfied smile as he watched her resolve harden. "That's the spirit. Now, let's see what secrets this little gem will reveal."

With trembling hands, Skye positioned the amethyst over the book's cover. The gem seemed to vibrate with anticipation, and she could feel the energy building between them. As she lowered the amethyst into the book's central socket, a blinding light erupted from the contact point, enveloping them in a surge of raw power.

Skye closed her eyes, bracing herself against the force, and when she opened them again, the book had changed. The gem was embedded in its center, pulsating with a life of its own. She handed it to Astarion who nodded in thanks before walking over to his tent.

Misty approached her as she kept her eyes on the vampire spawn's retreating figure. She had to poke her sister to get her attention. "Don't tell me you're falling for the vamp, sis."

The air genasi's cheeks flushed as she turned away from her sister. "No, that's not what's going on." She quickly composed herself before turning back around. "We found the gem. Astarion convinced me to merge it with the book."

"Ooo! What'd you guys find?! Spells? Secrets-" The younger genasi's eyes grew wide in excitement. It almost scared Skye.

"I haven't got a clue, Mist," Skye interrupted, patting her sister on the shoulder. "Go get ready for bed, I'll be back in a few minutes."

As soon as Misty was out of sight, the air genasi straightened her shoulders and walked over to Astarion's tent. She noticed his brows furrowed in concentration as he began to read the book they had just unlocked. The eerie purple glow of the fleshbound cover illuminated his face, casting strange shadows across his sharp features.

"Come on. Come on. What are you hiding?" Astarion whispered as he turned a page. "Can you summon the dead? Bring them back? Can you...ugh." He let out an exasperated sigh. Skye furrowed her brows, approaching him slower. "Can you shut up and let me read?"

"Astarion? Are you okay?" the air genasi asked cautiously, holding a hand out.

"What?" the vampire spawn jumped. "Oh yes, yes. I-I'm fine." Skye raised a skeptical brow as she continued to study him. "I was just perusing this little find and WILL YOU SHUT UP?"

The air genasi looked up at him in concern. "Astarion-"

"Forgive me," he interrupted after regaining his composure and closing the book. "This book reads you more than you read it."

"That sounds dangerous, Star," Skye held out her hand again. "Maybe you should leave it alone-"

"No, Skye." It was one of the first times he had spoken her actual name. Not darling. Not my sweet. Skye. That meant he was serious. "There's something in here. But the voices - the spirits in the book won't let me see it." Astarion took a deep breath. "I barely opened it when they started whispering from the shadows. Now every time I open it, the voices surge back into my mind. I can't reason with them - they exist to protect that book-"

"Then, stop reading it!" the air genasi finally shouted, her frustration boiling over. She lunged forward, attempting to grab the book.

Astarion's reflexes were quicker, and he pulled it out of her reach, holding it protectively against his chest. "No! There's something in here - I know it."

The golden orbs of Skye's eyes softened as she gazed into Astarion's. He was scared. Desperate. He didn't want this. He needed it.

She slowly relaxed and let her arm drop back to her side. Both of them took a breath.

"Someone went through a lot of trouble to protect this tome. It has to be something more than a book of cantrips." The vampire spawn looked down at the book once more. "Still, I doubt this will help us with our parasites. Maybe it's best to put it aside for now."

"Star, what are you hoping to find in there anyway?"

Astarion took a deep breath, placing the book on the table behind him. "It's a book of necromancy, full of secrets about controlling the dead, returning the dead to life, and who knows what else." He took a step closer to Skye. "Whatever's in here, it might give me an edge over Cazador. Or free me from him entirely."

Oh. It all started coming together. Skye's mind raced as she began to understand the depth of Astarion's desperation and the potential significance of the book. The power it promised was dangerous, yes, but it also held the promise of liberation for Astarion from his centuries-long torment.

"Although I can't make any progress as long as those spirits remember their mission. It seems to be all they know," Astarion continued, his frustration evident. He must have seen how upset Skye looked because he gave her a reassuring smile. "Still, if nothing else, maybe I could beat him to death with it."

Skye let out a small, tense laugh, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood despite the gravity of their situation. "Well, that would be quite a sight," she said, shaking her head.

The flickering light of the campfire cast dancing shadows across the air genasi's face as she rocked on her heels, biting her lower lip and looking anywhere but at Astarion. She could feel the tension between them, the unspoken words and lingering doubts.

"Well," she finally said, breaking the silence. "I should check on Misty. Goodnight, Star."

Astarion opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, seemingly at a loss for words. He nodded slowly. "Goodnight, Skye."

As she turned to leave, she felt his gaze lingering on her back. She paused for a moment, her heart aching with the knowledge of his pain and the burden he carried. She wanted to say something more, to offer him more comfort, but the words eluded her and she continued forward to her sister's tent.

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The next day, they finished looting the blighted village by the early evening. They set back out on the path to the goblin camp, where their rescue mission awaited them. And Skye, being Skye, managed to find another stray (or in this case strays) to help, much to Astarion's dismay. It turned out the old woman from the grove was a hag and held the sister of two brothers captive in her hut. The air genasi offered to help the brothers, but they refused it. Instead of accepting their refusal, Skye pressed forward and it irritated Astarion to death. If it weren't for the fact that she was a strong fighter and was absolutely head over heels for him, he would've left then and there...but he couldn't afford it. So he reluctantly followed, grumbling along the way.

After walking a few miles they decided to set up camp and Skye told her sister that it was too dangerous for her to join this mission. Obviously, that didn't bode well with Misty and the two sisters got into it. The younger genasi set off deeper into the woods with her bow as her sister followed from a distance. Astarion let out a loud sigh and decided to follow, secretly curious to see where this was all leading. He found Skye peeking through a maze of tall trees, listening to the thuds of arrows hitting a tree. The vampire spawn purposely stepped on a twig to make his presence known.

The air genasi whipped her head toward him in alertness, relaxing when she noticed it was him. She returned her attention to her sister with a sigh. "You know she's pissed when she starts aiming at trees."

Astarion stood behind her watching as Misty's impeccable aim kept sending arrows flying at a target she'd carved into the tree's bark. At one point, she had even split an arrow in two. "You know, darling, she'd make an excellent rogue."

A hint of a smile crept onto Skye's face as she let out an amused scoff. "She's got the attitude of one, too," she quipped, eyeing him in the corner of her eye.

"Excuse me, but my attitude is reasonable with the situations we're thrown into," he retorted, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Skye chuckled softly and turned to face him. "Am I being too harsh? I only want to keep her safe."

The vampire spawn blinked at her. Was she being too harsh? Astarion knew hardly anything about children, but it was common sense to not allow a child to come along to battle a powerful hag, right? "I'm not the person you should be asking, my sweet."

A hum escaped the air genasi's mouth as she looked back at her sister, who was aggressively losing arrows into a nearby tree. Each shot landed with a solid thud, the young girl's frustration evident in her forceful movements. Skye's heart ached, torn between the need to protect Misty and the desire to nurture her sister's growing independence.

"She's just so determined," Skye murmured, more to herself than to Astarion. "She wants to prove herself, but I can't let her get hurt."

The vampire spawn shifted awkwardly beside her. He cleared his throat, his usual confidence faltering. "I mean, it's... understandable. Wanting to keep her safe, that is. I wouldn't... know much about raising children or anything. Obviously."

Skye turned to him, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "You don't say?"

A nervous laugh escaped from Astarion's mouth as he ran a hand through his hair. "Yes, well, I suppose it doesn't take an expert to know that taking a child into a hag's lair is a terrible idea."

Skye's smile widened, appreciating his attempt at sincerity. "You're right. It is a terrible idea. But sometimes I wonder if I'm being too overprotective. Misty's stronger than she looks."

Astarion nodded, though his discomfort was still evident. "Perhaps. But strength isn't everything. Wisdom and experience matter, too. And she has you to guide her, which is more than most could hope for."

Sincerity was uncharted territory for him, but in order for his plan to work, it seemed he must at least attempt it. If he continued down this path, maybe just maybe, his plan would work after all.

Skye turned her attention to her sister, who was still diligently practicing her archery. "I'll talk to her tonight. Find a balance between protecting her and letting her grow." She smiled, glancing back at him as the weight of her worries lifted slightly. "Thank you, Astarion. For everything."

If the vampire spawn's heart could beat, it would be pounding out of his chest. That smile she gave him stirred something unfamiliar within him—something he never felt before. Something he couldn't quite put a finger to. But for once in his damned existence, he felt a genuine smile creep onto his face.

[apoplecticgalaxy]

(also spoilers for the whole game-)

I 100% agree with all of this except for the part about the secret area of the mystery labyrinth and how the labyrinth should have killed Yomi.

Because firstly, I don't think he was involved enough to count as an accomplice. And even if he did, we've seen accomplices before that weren't killed by the labyrinth. Specifically Servan, who is actually labelled as one. Yomi really didn't do much, he just gave Yakou a motive, then left it to work itself out. It wouldn't make sense with the way the mystery labyrinth has been established if he died here as well because of that. I do think it'd be interesting if it had a small affect on him, like he can physically feel the mystery labyrinth collapsing, but he doesn't get significantly hurt from it. But I'll get to that later.

Secondly, I actually liked that it didn't kill Yomi from a narrative standpoint. It fits really well with his character and the motifs hes shown so far. He is untouchable, because it's not him actively doing things. He manipulates others so he can keep his hands "clean." Like with Seth, its easy for Yomi to arrest him because he could make it look like it was Seth's fault entirely. Yomi isn't the smartest, but he knows how to stay in power, and he knows how to remain just barely untouchable.

This angers Yuma and Vivia so much because Yomi is right. He didn't do it, Yakou was still the one who made the plan and killed Dr. Huesca. Yuma and Vivia want to believe it was all Yomi's fault, but it wasn't, and thats why Yakou's betrayal is still a betrayal. The secret area serves its purpose not as an area to take down a secret mastermind, but as a side path in the labyrinth. A hidden detail in a painting that changes the motivations behind a piece, but not its contents. And it creates that initial anger of "Yomi can take away everything from us and still come out unscathed. There is nothing we can do about it." Which, as you said, is something thats taken away by his immediate arrest.

So here's my revised solution!! Remember how Yomi takes the two peacekeepers' guns, and is about to shoot Yuma and Vivia? Lets say he does this before the labyrinth. Then everything in the labyrinth stays the same. Except we get more focus on Vivia's anger at the end. This is the angriest he's ever felt, the only time he's felt so inclined to act.

Instead of Yomi dying from the labyrinth, it instead has a small physical affect on him. He drops the two guns he's holding, leaving him and the two peacekeepers mostly unarmed. Before Yomi can recover from that feeling, Vivia, consumed by his anger, kills Yomi with the box cutter.

Like in canon, Makoto comes moments after the scene with the guns. It likely was his original plan that Yomi died to the mystery labyrinth, but because he never actually killed someone, this would be the next best thing. So he improvises, telling the peacekeepers to clean up the body and saying he'll handle the rest. Martina would likely have the same role as in your rewrite, and Seth could be there too.

Anyway, Makoto lets them go with the box like in canon, and they head back to the ship. Here I'd imagine theres some emotional moment on if that was a good choice or not, and Vivia either feeling guilt or not feeling anything. Maybe even a whole moment where he describes his lack of satisfaction from doing it.

Or maybe Vivia's arrested. Who knows. This ending parts where my ideas aren't as concrete.

But yeah :)! Just my little addition. I liked the secret area scene a lot and just. the impact of how powerless it made Yuma and Vivia feel.

Why I think Yomi Hellsmile should've died in Chapter 4

(this essay isnt what you think it is. spoilers for the whole game btw)

Alright so let me preface this by saying that this is not a Yomi Hellsmile hate essay. I like Yomi. He's my favorite peacekeeper. He's funny, he's entertaining, and he makes for a very effective antagonist. So why have him die? Well, for the same reason I wouldn't have Yakou live: I think it makes for a better story.

So here's the true title of my essay: A Critique of how Rain Code's Narrative Handles the Peacekeepers (and by Extension, Yomi) and their Downfall

Let's start with Yomi's downfall in canon. Yuma and Vivia find out his role in Huesca's murder and, ultimately, Yakou's death, and are angry beyond belief. But they're also helpless to do anything as they escape the labyrinth with vengeance on their minds. Of course, this gets shut down immediately, and then Makoto ex machina comes in with Martina in tow to arrest Yomi for his money laundering and bribery. And right then and there, in one fell swoop, the peacekeepers are completely eliminated as a threat in the story to be replaced by Makoto.

But okay... isn't that super underwhelming? The peacekeepers and Amaterasu corp have been the main driving force of the game's primary conflict, and yet somehow they are completely eliminated as a threat because Makoto grabbed a few files off screen. And also, this brings me to my first major issue I have with this ending:

Part 1: Why the fuck do they care?

No I'm serious. Why do the peacekeepers care? So what if Yomi bribed his way to the top? You mean to tell me that the cops who spent the entire game assaulting and antagonizing civilians give a shit? They're never shown to have any sort of problem with their corruption. They send people to be executed on whims and knowingly, regularly falsify evidence on murder cases. At best the peacekeepers are indifferent to the suffering they cause, and at worst they are gleefully complicit in it. So, again, why do they care about Yomi's money schemes? In fact, they only benefit from Yomi's rule because he gives them the power to freely instill fear in Kanai Ward's citizens. The game never, at any point, has an "are we the baddies?" moment from them nor does it ever even try to have at least one peacekeeper question Yomi's authority, even when he's throwing them under the bus. Throughout the whole game, they stand as a completely one-note, cartoonishly evil representation of police corruption.

So why the sudden heel turn? The resolution of chapter 4 feels so jarring to me because the game has zero buildup to it. This also applies to Martina's return. Actually let's also talk about her.

Part 2: So... Martina's return lowkey is kinda lame

Don't get me wrong, I was pretty hype when she came back. But also, the magic wore off pretty quickly for me because I didn't understand why she was suddenly a whole different character. I suppose her brush with death gave her some time to contemplate her actions, or perhaps she felt indebted to Makoto and asked him what she should do, or maybe Makoto held her life over her head and told her to change her act or he's letting her get cubed. Who knows? We get nothing expanding on this so it could be anything.

I feel like people kinda forget that Martina was just as corrupt as Yomi? Like, she is not his helpless victim. I'd even argue that their relationship isn't abusive. Martina is in it with her own interests in mind in addition to just being a massive sadomasochist. I cannot stress this enough: whatever tf she and Yomi had going on, she was completely into it. Even at the end of chapter 2, she was drooling over him and the idea of punishment... until Yomi crossed a line.

Y'see, Martina thought she was special. She thought that whatever punishment Yomi had for her Aetheria Academy blunder, she'd come out of it alive, because she's his beloved right hand. Yomi then showed her that she's just as disposable as the rest of his underlings by ordering her to be brutally executed. That is when she becomes a victim.

Anyway, I'm saying all this to make a point that Martina hasn't shown any interest in being an honest cop until chapter 4. It's completely out of nowhere, just like with the other peacekeepers.

"But Biggie," you may be thinking, "why would Yomi dying fix these issues?" Well I'm so glad you hypothetically asked!

Part 3: We love missed potential, baby!

Kodaka sometimes does this thing where he introduces an interesting concept that plays with the rules of the game... and then doesn't commit to it. Think like the double murder clause in Danganronpa V3 chapter 3, where they mention that if two separate murderers act in the same day then only one of those murders counts. Then they do nothing with this, and instead create a very weak chapter.

This is a similar problem I have with the tail end of chapter 4's mystery labyrinth, which is a really amazing labyrinth that introduces a really amazing concept: taking down a secret mastermind. After reaping the culprit's soul, they have this cool, brand new secret area that... does nothing. No, I'm serious. Nothing happens. All it does is piss Yuma and Vivia off and waste everyone's time. They find out Yomi's involvement in the case, but they still don't do anything with that. Sure it brings a whole new feeling of hopelessness, but doesn't that make Yomi's downfall literally five minutes later through the mundane actions of someone else off screen seem all the more underwhelming? From a gameplay and storytelling standpoint, I think this is just... a cop-out. I think it'd be cool if he was involved enough in Huesca's murder to count as an accomplice, then with Vivia and Shinigami at his side, Yuma reaps Yomi's soul. It's a decent payoff for the NDA and the player while supporting the game's message about the importance of finding the truth. And god does the game need support in that regard, because the Mystery Labyrinth almost never helps and Yuma instead gets saved by someone else (which would've been nice to expand on if we go this route bc there's something interesting about Yuma calling for the labyrinth to kill people for ultimately no reason, but they don't do anything with that and that is a WHOLE other essay lol).

But this is not my main reason that Yomi should've died here. I wouldn't feel so strongly if that was the case. No, my problem lies with a character that isn't Yomi, and what is part of the entire reason Rain Code's plot exists.

Part 4: Is Makoto fucking stupid?

"/lh" by the way. Makoto is my second favorite character in this game behind Yuma, and I adore him. His story, his motivations, his undying will to be a protector of a people that no one else will protect, by any means necessary... he is such an incredible character and antagonist and I genuinely adore him. But I have one eensy weensy, teeny weeny little issue with him:

Why did he need the detectives to oust Yomi?

Makoto claims in the ch 5 labyrinth that the reason the detectives were brought over was to oust Yomi, which leads me to believe the command for the detectives to come to Kanai Ward was his work, not Number One's, then Number One simply caught onto this and took advantage of the situation to sneak in. Though, that's just a guess on my part, mind you. So I suppose he was just desperately hoping at least one of them would take care of Yomi, but isn't that weird?

The detectives don't ever find the evidence of Yomi's money laundering and bribery. Makoto does. The detectives don't ever bring Yomi's corruption to light. Yomi... already does that without their help. Actually, why didn't he secretly team up with the Resistance for that? Too busy ignoring Dohya District's glaring issues, Makoto? Too busy turning a blind eye to your people's suffering?

Uh. Anyway, the only detective that actually does something beneficial for Makoto and kills Huesca is Yakou, who was already in Kanai Ward. And don't tell me that Makoto accounted for Fubuki and Desuhiko's fortes here because that part of the plan was all Yakou's idea. If Makoto could've predicted this, he would've just called the detectives necessary to this plan instead of luring in a bunch of them at once to get slaughtered.

Tons of detectives died coming to Kanai Ward to do... what? Distract Yomi? Could the World's Greatest Mind truly never come up with a better distraction for a guy who didn't even realize his Martina Cube™ order never came in? Yomi isn't shown to be some sort of hypervigilant supergenius nor is he nearly on Makoto's level. Could he truly not have outsmarted Yomi and led him astray long enough to grab a little binder of paper?

So, once again, you may be wondering how Yomi's death would fix this. Well, Yuma, a detective, is the one who kills Yomi.

Makoto is well aware of Yuma using the Book of Death at this point. So what better way to get rid of Yomi than to carefully manipulate the detective who has the Perfect Criminal Murder Tool™? Makoto can't just assassinate Yomi himself- that would make him the main suspect and he'd have to do a lot of PR maintenance to get the rest of Amaterasu Corp off his back. But Yomi mysteriously dying of a heart attack while Makoto isn't anywhere around... well, that's different.

"But wait," you may be thinking, "doesn't Makoto want to keep Yomi alive because he's a Kanai Ward citizen, and he loves Kanai Ward?"

Good point! But doesn't that also apply to Yakou, whom he also had a hand in manipulating into that crazy sui-homocide of Dr. Huesca? Or, what about Fink? Remember him? Makoto killed him for "knowing too much." I know that information is missable, but it's there. And don't tell me it's just because he's a hitman and has killed other Kanai Ward residents, because Yomi has sent many residents to their deaths without trial... not a huge difference. So a body count isn't really on Makoto's "should I kill them" conditions, it seems.

If Fink gets killed for "knowing too much," then Yomi shouldn't be exempt from this, especially when he was leaking homunculus information to the outside world. That goes far beyond "knowing too much." It just doesn't make sense.

But you know what does? Makoto actually using the detectives to wipe his hands clean of Yomi's mess. Yakou is used to take care of Huesca, Yuma is used to take care of Yomi, and Makoto gets to sit back, relax, and watch everything play out just as planned.

And later, in the next chapter, when Yuma learns about Makoto using him like this, he realizes that he's truly been had.

Part 5: How I think it should play out

I'm not being a hater. In fact, I deeply love this game and have a lot of respect for Kodaka and the writing team, so please don't take my little rant as some sort of effort to bash on my favorite video game because that's not what this is. I'm not gonna prop myself up as a better writer than anyone on the team because I'm not, but I'll still try my hand at rewriting this scene to fit my personal taste. So I would like for you to imagine with me, the end of chapter 4...

Yuma and Vivia find the secret area of the labyrinth and find out that Yomi has been masterminding Huesca's murder. Shinigami points out that, hey, that's why the labyrinth is falling so slowly: we haven't finished it off! Vivia stands by Yuma's side, and all of them, driven by their rage and desire to see justice be done, reap the soul of the true mastermind through one final strike of the solution blade. Labyrinth collapses, snap back to reality, oop there goes gravity, oop there goes Yomi, who collapses on the ground.

The peacekeepers are surprised and approach the body. They find that Yomi is dead. They're shocked, and as this is happening, Yuma isn't sure what to feel. Is he glad that he managed to avenge Yakou? Not quite, because Yakou is still gone, the hitman is still out there, and everything still hurts. But a part of him feels... vindicated. Vivia seems to have equally complicated feelings about this. For once, it was... kind of worth it to find the truth, even if a bit messy.

Well now the peacekeepers confirmed Yomi is dead, but now they're accusing the detectives of this. And they're honestly kinda right. Yuma and Vivia realize that they're in kind of deep shit, but the sound of Martina's voice comes from off screen asking what on earth is going on here, making everyone freeze.

Enter her, Makoto, and Seth (I'll say why he's here too in a moment). They're surprised at the sight before them, but Makoto only pretends to be. Then you see it... Martina and Seth go from visibly suprised... to relieved. And there's something oddly triumphant, yet a bit chilling about Makoto and the two people we've witnessed Yomi throw under the bus standing over his corpse. It feels thematic now, as if righteous judgement has come. And... it also solves the "what happened to Seth" question, lol.

Makoto shakes his head and sighs, stepping over the corpse and approaching Yuma and Vivia as he comes up with an excuse: "I always told him that those temper tantrums weren't good for his blood pressure. I guess his heart couldn't take it anymore."

He then nods to the others. Seth instructs the peacekeepers to clean up the body, as they rot quickly in this city. There's this foreboding feeling in the peacekeepers' obedience and efficiency, and Yuma begins to wonder if he did a good thing. Did his actions change the peacekeepers for the better, he asks himself, or did he simply shift the power over to someone worse? Shinigami tells him she doesn't know.

Makoto approaches them with good news: they found and arrested the hitman! Yuma, frightened, does not address that and instead asks him why the other high ranking peacekeepers are here. Makoto says that they... owe him a favor. Martina expresses her gratefulness for him stopping her execution order and asks if they can do anything else, to which Makoto replies telling her no, they're doing an excellent job. After some more conversation, Seth, Martina, and the peacekeepers then leave with Yomi's body to let Makoto talk privately to Yuma and Vivia. Makoto apologizes for their loss of Yakou and offers some faux sympathy. They're both... still conflicted about this conclusion, but Makoto tells them they're free to go, so they'll think about it later. Oh, but before they leave, he gives Yuma a little gift: a suspicious black box. Of course, Yuma can't open it just yet- it's a surprise!

Then the rest could play out pretty much normally (though an encounter with zombie Yomi chapter 5 seems inevitable and also awesome).

I think this alone would solve every issue I addressed before. The peacekeepers do not change out of nowhere. They simply reallocate power and there's still this feeling of them being a threat as they're now directly connected to the game's true antagonist. There's now a theme to Martina's return with Seth's presence as well. There's now a narrative purpose to that final section of the mystery labyrinth with proper payoff. And, most importantly, Makoto's motivations to use the detectives make more sense.

By the way, if any Yomi lovers think that he should stay alive for a potential return in the sequel... isn't it such a blessing that Yakou's DLC introduced this pretty neat little pill that could still make that possible? Just saying.

So yeah. Yuma, for the sake of narrative payoff and character writing consistency, please kill this clown. Thanks for reading <3

[marcspectrr]

PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE ATTACHMENT STYLE OF THERE RELATIONSHIP PLEASE 🥺

I think one of my favorite parts of Layla and Marc's relationship is the way attachment theory plays into it, from the very second they meet until where they are now. So I'm gonna try and answer this with the least amount of gushing possible for the sake of word count, and try to squeeze two mini character studies into one post 🥺🥺

I went into it a little bit in this post where I talked about the impact and significance of physcial intimacy in their relationship, but I'm aware it was more focused on Marc's attachment style. So here, I'm gonna start with Layla's, which is the trickier one.

The difficult part about characterizating Layla's style is that I'm going off of a lot of subtext, implications and patterns in behaviors that can be perceived differently. Attachment styles are mostly developed through the relationships we have with our earliest caregivers, and we don't get a whole lot on Layla's parents. (From what little we've seen, she clearly holds her father, her attachment figure, in a high and healthy regard, indicating the type of relationship they had--full of love and respect, where she admired him when he was around, always visiting dig sites with him and following in his footsteps, and grieved him after he died.) But I believe theres still enough to go off of to theorize about it, which makes me think Layla shows a lot of signs of having a relatively secure attachment style. (However, I'll get into how she doesn't perfectly exemplify this in a sec.)

People with this style tend to find intimacy easily, are confident in relying on people and being relied on, are capable of assessing conflict with clarity when it comes to who's at fault, see the world as well-intentioned and are very trusting.

Not long after they meet does Layla recognize and understand that Marc and Steven are separte people. She sees them as individuals, one whom she feel in love with and married and the other she just met, but she still manages to become close with Steven pretty easily. ("We want what we never had","Being honesty", etc.)

She shows confidence in relying on people and being relied on through the connections she has from recovering antiques. (Lagaro, Bek, Mogart, etc.) She's also not afraid to break said connections should she need to. ("Not worried you might've burned too many bridges? All those stolen relics and cheeky antiques?", "Why? Because my name pisses off a few people in Cairo?" etc.)

Not once did she ever put blame on anyone during conflict. Does she get frustrated, yeah, but it's not nonsensical and it's not violent. She seems to have a very level head when approaching hard topics (huge indicator of a healthy upbringing), has very genuine intentions and is very conscious of her actions. ("It's all right. Okay. We'll just find another way", "You could've told me. You know? [...] We could've handled it together", etc.)

Now, I don't think she perfectly embodies this attachment style, mainly because attachment styles can change and be relearned over time. It's nice to think because she had a loving home to grow up in that she's forever protected from ever getting a hard shell, but life unfortunately had other plans for her.

One of her biggest traumas that we know of is her father's murder. And it skewed a few things, including her security in attachments, specifically in her perspective and trust in others. I believe she viewed the world with a good amount of optimism and trust before he died. And after she lost him, she spent 10 years not knowing what happened, which only served to exacerbate the pain and bitterness she felt. ("It's a hard thing, exhuming the pain of the past. Easy to get stuck. Fixate on what's hurt us." "Great. Then I won't do either." "Like you aren't already", etc.)

(A personal hc of mine that we don't really have any on-screen evidence for but still seems conceivable is her struggling with her sense of blame as well. Realizing that someone you love has been going through so much silent suffering for so long, under your watch no less, is an immensly devastating thing. I can't help but see Layla naturally wondering if she'd missed something, inadvertently putting blame on herself to compensate for not having seen it sooner, let alone done something about it.)

Alright. Now Marc's.

Marc has a fearful-avoidant attachment style. This style is extremely insecure and can mostly be diluted down to a desire for closeness that clashes with a fear of it. It's developed through early exposure to inconsistent and contrasting behaviors from the caregiver. Wendy was one of Marc's attachment figures and because she was both the source of safety and fear, it taught Marc that closeness comes with abuse.

This style includes withdrawing from relationships when things aren't going well, negative self-perception and perception of others, essentially high anxiety and high avoidance.

We see Marc pull away from Layla once his disorder becomes harder to hide. ("You sent these papers but you never signed them", "That's not really what I do, is it? Never really been able to just talk about everything" etc.) Because to him, his mental illness is riddled with shame and even disgust, and his instinct tells him that if he lets it show, he will be rejected. If he opens up about it even to his wife, someone who's proven to care very deeply for him, she'll leave him. Not only unaccepted but actively abandoned and hurt because of it.

His unhealthy self-perception runs so deep and for so long. Even a general routine of negative self-talk can do so much damage and this man has years of it under his belt. ("But I didn't die that night. And I should have", "Look, I wish I could just disappear. I really do", "Because we're insane. We're insane", etc.)

Now when you think about their individual styles in regards to their relationship, it sorta ties into the themes of the show, which is that love endures. It perseveres. It hides but grows and sometimes bursts. Not being able to protect somebody does not diminish your love for them. Layla's trust becomes a bit tainted, and becomes more insecure because of it, but everyday, she still chooses to practice patience and compassion with Marc. Still chooses to embrace him, all the pieces of him, even the ones not ready for anyone's eyes yet. And Marc still struggles to stay sometimes, has days where he still wants to just disappear, but he makes the choice too. Because having choices means free will, claiming agency and having the space to change. And he's beginning to believe in redemption again.

[dailytodorokiraichi]

Listen.

The second summer Ichidai vs Yakushi match is such a personally offensive match to me. This match hurts my heart and soul more than any other match and Tera-san was so necessarily cruel to my good Boy.

So the Ichidai vs Yakushi match obviously ended with Yakushi losing, which ultimately doesn't bother me because if they had won they just would have gone on to lose to Seido anyway. Losing happens, it sucks.

But no what is personally offensive is how they lost, specifically that Tera-san made it Raichi's fault.

Raichi was at fault for the loss in two ways:

One: He made the initial error that caused Ichidai to be in a scoring position

and

Two: He was steps away from getting the out and prolonging the game.

Now, while these instances aren't exactly his fault, and there's no guarantee they would have won had he got the out, he was the ultimate catalyst for their loss and he takes the personal blame for it:

What is so unfair about Tera-san making it Raichi's "fault" that they lost the game is that there were 3 main factors to Raichi ultimately costing them the game. These 3 factors are:

-Raichi's Past

-Raichi's Love for Baseball

-Raichi's Talent

How do these 3 factors contribute it to being "Raichi's fault"? Let's count them down shall we?

3. Raichi's Past

As we know Raichi and Raizou don't have the best past, and following the divorce, Raichi and Raizou didn't have much for themselves. At the worst (if BatMan Under the Bridge is Canon) they were homeless and at best they were struggling financially and in debt. Raizou couldn't afford to send him to little league and Raichi was unlucky enough to go to a junior high without a baseball team.

This past meant that Raichi didn't get to play baseball until High School, meaning he is wholly inexperienced in the basics of the game. This inexperience often lead to instances of him making errors and his inexperience had an impact on his playing in the Ichidai vs Yakushi match:

But you know what else leads to Raichi making errors?

2. Raichi's Love for Baseball

It's no secret that Raichi loves baseball. So much so that he often times gets too excited while playing which causes him to shake violently and often to make more errors. Similar to the error he made during the Ichidai vs Yakushi match, in which his teammate has to tell him to calm down.

What is also significant in Raichi's Love of Baseball is his true and genuine enjoyment and love for the sport. Unlike many of the other characters, Raichi doesn't play to win, Raichi plays because he loves the sport. Raichi seems to acknowledge winning only as a means to playing more games, and cares less about victory than he does about playing the game.

This of course makes the loss even more bitter because of how truly he loves the sport and how much he wanted to keep playing that summer with his team.

And finally,

1. Raichi's Talent

Raichi's talent is the final contributing factor for the loss being "his fault" because it was him, through his talent, that got Amahisa Kousei to love and be passionate about baseball again.

If it hadn't been for Raichi being so unbelievably talented and crushing Manaka, Amahisa may have stayed away from Baseball and Ichidai Sankou may not have been the powerhouse they were without him. Raichi influenced the pitcher that ultimately came around to beat them.

It's unfair enough that Raichi's past, something he had no control over, and one of his best traits, his love for the sport, were factors leading to their lose but even worse, Raichi's own talent was used again him by Tera-san.

All these factors culminated into Yakushi losing against Ichidai. Which was really awful not because they lost but because Tera-san made it Raichi's fault, for which he openly blames himself for.

Raichi not only truly and dearly loves baseball, but he also cares deeply about his team. Yakushi was the first and only team that Raichi has ever played for, and he loves them dearly. So much so that he plays for them, instead of himself, which ultimately causes him to fail.

And now he feels as though he has let his team down and ruined the summer for the 3rd years, but not just any 3rd years, the pitcher he admires the most, Sanada. He feels as though he let Sanada down.

To which Tera-san rubbed salt in the wound by having Sanada apologize to Raichi for failing to stop them, because he knows Raichi and he knows that Raichi will feel guilty about the loss, which he does.

To make matters worse, and I've discussed this in length before, but the Ichidai vs Yakushi match comes directly after we get to see Raichi's mom leaving. Like prior in the series we knew that she left Raizou, but now we got to see her leave and why.

Like she left over Raichi's and Raizou's genuine love and obsession with the sport. They loved the sport so much so that she left to avoid being caught up in their lifestyle and coming second to baseball. Immediately after, they lose, which is just so hard to take. Like the Todoroki's lost their wife/mother to baseball and still lost to Ichidai?? Hurtful.

AND to be the absolute icing on the cake, Raichi hasn't reappeared in the manga since his loss. Meaning the last time we truly saw him, tears were streaming down his face as he blamed himself for ruining his teams summer.

So yea, I am pretty personally offended by this match.

TL:DR

Todoroki Raichi is one of the most well written characters and Tera-san did him dirty. Also he's criminally underrated.

[astro-rain]

delicate; b.barnes

chapter fourteen - “pinky promise”

delicate masterlist

word count: 2.1k

synopsis: bucky and the reader reconvene after the events of the previous night, figuring out what they need to do from there. pinky promises are endearing but they don’t prevent the effects of distressed regret & emotional frustration.

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

She awoke with wet regret staining her cheeks. She remembered falling asleep with shame, liquid guilt seeping out of her eyes. Slowly and silently weeping herself to sleep while drunk. What a colossal fucking mistake she made. She felt terrible, and she could only imagine how Bucky felt. She needed to apologize. Immediately.

She found that her shoes were still on when she got out of bed.

"Oh, Christ," she huffed at her messiness.

Regardless, she grabbed a jacket for protection from the chilly Wakandan morning air before rushing to the door, determined to find Bucky as soon as possible and apologize profusely for the previous night.

She opened the door but before she could dash out, she smacked directly into what felt like hard wood. Wait, no. The "hard wood" was a chest, and that chest belonged to a person... it was Bucky. Damn it.

"Sorry!" the two exclaimed simultaneously.

They both backed up.

"Y/N..."

"Bucky."

"Can we talk?"

"Yes. Please."

They awkwardly made their way into the room, eventually sitting side by side on the end of her bed. The air was quiet and void of their usual content and lighthearted atmosphere. Both of them sat staring straight forward.

"Bucky, I... I am so sorry about last night. I know being drunk isn't an excuse for being unprofessional, but I really have no other explanation as to why I'd ever do something so inappropriate. I feel awful and I can't imagine how uncomfortable I've made you. I will completely understand if you don't want to work with me anymore. I can talk to Shuri or T'Challa and we can find someone else to take my place if—"

"Woah," he turned to her, slightly alarmed. "Slow down, slow down. Who said anything about replacing you?"

"Well, I just thought after...last night, you'd rather have someone else work with you. It probably wouldn't be wise to continue treatment with me after certain... professional boundaries have been damaged."

"I'm not working with anyone else."

She looked at him bewildered, but he looked dead serious.

Y/N shook her head. "I—"

"Look, I'm not a therapist and I don't know the criteria of your 'professional boundaries'... But you were drunk. It happens. I don't think any less of you because you had a little too much. Believe me, I've been there."

"I know, but it's not necessarily the drinking that was the problem. It was... my actions."

"Right. And I don't think leaning a couple inches is really grounds for leaving Wakanda."

It was more than just "leaning a couple inches," and she knew that. She was humiliated by her drunken errors, but it was seductively dizzying to be that close to him. In the moment, she relished in every second, every atom of hers that was touching him. However, it was the afterthought that was the problem, the realization of what she had done and how wrong it was.

"Bucky..."

"I'm not working with anyone else."

"I'm not the only good therapist, you know."

"But you're my therapist. I don't want a new one."

"And I don't want to disrupt your progress, but there's no way I can keep treating you after last night."

"Why not? What's gonna happen if you do? Nothing."

"It's not that simple."

"Nobody was here. No one knows but us. There's no way you can get into trouble."

"It's not entirely about getting in trouble. It's about the nature of our relationship and how that change can impact how effectively and ethically I can treat you."

He was quiet for a minute, thinking.

He shook his head, looking down at his feet. "We can work something out..."

"I don't think so, Buck..."

"So you're just gonna leave then?"

"I think that's what needs to happen."

He turned his head to her, making deliberate eye contact.

"Y/N, please."

"All I wanna do is do right by you, and I can't do that after I've compromised our relationship."

"But you didn't compromise—"

"Bucky," she exasperated, "Can you please try to understand?"

"Can you please try not to be so hasty about things? Our relationship is fine. You don't need to leave."

Stubborn. He was being stubborn. But, all she could see was strong will and passion. That was the problem. All his faults morphed into aptitudes when they filtered through her perception.

"I really care about you, Buck. I just want you to have access to the help you need, and as much as I hate to say it, I don't know if I can be that help anymore."

"Can't we just try?"

"Try what?"

"Just... hear me out. We can continue the sessions as if nothing happened, and if everything is fine, then great, but if not, then you can go."

Is that what it would take for him to be okay with her leaving? Is that what it would take to make her departure less of a complete upheaval? There was no way this would work, she thought. But what were the lengths to which she would go to make the transition smoother? Was she willing to make sacrifices to help ease his hardships? She reflected for a minute.

For him, she would. For him, she considered, she'd do most anything.

"Okay," she said after brief contemplation. "We can try. But you have to keep in mind, the entire time, that I still might have to leave in the end."

He smiled, sincerity almost suffocating her. "Thank you."

"Promise me you won't be disappointed if I end up having to leave."

"You want a pinky, blood oath, or spit shake?" he asked, jokingly.

"Bucky," Y/N deadpanned.

"Well, it's not like we need to promise, because you won't have to leave... 'cause everything will be fine."

God, she hoped so.

"Promise me anyway. Just in case."

"Fine. I promise. You have my word."

She held out her hand to him, pinky finger raised high.

"Make it official."

"You know I was kidding?" he asked.

"I know. But you brought it up, so now you're payin' the price," she smiled, feeling herself momentarily slipping back into their dynamic. "Officially promise me with your pinky, James."

In acquiescence, he lifted his hand up to hers, pinky extended, and wrapped their fingers together. As it turned out, her hand had desires of its own and begged for additional contact. It yearned to smooth over the skin of Bucky's hand and press their palms together. Her hand wanted to intertwine the rest of their fingers and hold on ever so tightly. It wanted to hold on and never leave Wakanda, never leave his side.

As it also turned out, the hand is not the mind. These were surely not Y/N thoughts. Definitely not... Desires were kept repressed and no actions were taken. Sorry hand.

Their fingers stayed connected for just a few brief seconds of silence. Not nearly long enough for it to be awkward or for them to get second thoughts about the integrity of their agreement. Their fingers disconnected.

"So..." Bucky started, "are things gonna be weird now? With us?"

"They don't have to be, but I guess it depends."

"On what?"

"I don't know. Whether you're upset with me over what happened - which you have every right to be."

"Upset with you? No! Not at all. It seems like you're more upset than I ever was."

"I'm only upset because of what I did!"

"Well, I'm only upset because you're upset, so... stop being upset."

"I-..." she sighed. "Okay. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. Are we good?"

"You don't have anything to be sorry for..."

"Just say we're good."

She let out a nervous laugh.

"Fine, we're good. I'm just surprised at how you're so cool with this."

"Well, friends bounce back quick, right?"

Her demeanor changed. The mood sunk.

"Bucky..."

"No, no. Don't sit there and tell me that now we aren't friends. You just pinky swore with me," he said with a meek smile, attempting to lift her mood back up. "C'mon, that counts for something."

She looked down at her hands, suddenly missing the skin-to-skin contact. "I just think it might be better to be more professional and less... personal."

"Better for who exactly? 'Cause I know it wouldn't be for me."

She turned her head to look at him, face earnest and contrite. He only looked confused and a little mentally disheveled.

"I want to make this new... plan thing work. If you don't want me to have to leave, we have to reinstate some sort of boundaries, Buck."

"So boundaries means throwing away being friends?"

"I'm not throwing it away. I want to make sure we can be successful, and to be successful we have to be a little more..." she took a breath in, hating how much she kept bringing up this word, "professional. We gotta have more good days than bad, you know?"

A few beats of silence passed them by. Bucky's expression softened to a dangerous level of sincerity.

"I think you are my good days..."

Y/N tore her gaze away. She couldn't do this. She wished he wouldn't say such gentle things; she was trying so hard. The tension in her heart began to frustrate her. And it was because of him. She wished her emotions weren't always so escalated in his proximity.

"How long were you outside for?" she changed the subject.

"All night."

"What?!"

"Just kidding. Only for a couple minutes. Why are you changing the subject?"

"I'm not."

"You really are. And you're uneasy."

Trying to deny feelings was harder when someone else called them out.

"Stop trying to analyze me."

"M'not analyzing. I'm just reading you."

Reading her?

"Reading me?"

"Yeah. You were looking at me, but now you turned away. You're bouncing your leg but otherwise you're completely still, tense, like you are when you're nervous. You're also turned away from me... kinda like you don't wanna be near me."

Yeah, because her heart felt like it was going to burst.

She stood up, walking away from him and his infuriating correctness. How dare he know her like that? Anger bubbled in her stomach. She faced him, arms crossed over her chest, as if shielding herself from his prying efforts to understand her personality. How dare he decipher her.

"Really?" she huffed, amped up nervousness morphing into irritation. "You barely slept last night, and it's not just noticeable because of the bags under your eyes. You do this thing when you're tired - you blink really slowly and then rub your eyes. It's subtle. How's that for reading? Oh, and you're more uncomfortable about having one arm than you let on. When you sit next to me, you always make sure to sit so that your arm is on my side. In fact, you're so bad at tolerating uncomfortable that you refuse to even think about getting a new therapist - even though it's the right thing to do - because you don't want to deal with the change."

She took a breath after expelling her vexation. Bucky stared at her with wide eyes, never before hearing her angry, much less at him.

"That's not why..." he all but whispered.

"You know I can tell when you're lying, right?"

"Apparently not," he rolled his eyes. "And I thought we made a deal."

"I think you should leave."

He looked up at her. "Y/N.."

She turned away from him, deciding she couldn't handle looking him in the eyes.

Glancing at the door, she muttered, "I'll see you at our next session."

"But— I thought..."

"A deal's a deal. I'll see you, Bucky."

The room was eerily silent until Bucky decided to move. She could feel his eyes on her, searching for something, anything out of her. Perhaps she was hasty, but there was no room for second thoughts, second emotions. She completely steeled herself. Feeling around him was just... a lot. A lot to deal with. Maybe too much.

"Okay," he said, voice quiet. "I'll see you... I guess."

With that, he left. He left her in an empty room with empty feelings and an empty hand. She looked down at that hand, the very same one that wrapped its finger around his in the lighthearted simplicity of a juvenile gesture. Joy with Bucky was like that - simple. Being happy was effortless with him. Yet, it was so troublesome to be displeased with him. She could sense another distressed night sleep coming her way.

delicate taglist: @bakugouswh0r3 @thefridgeismybestie @strivingforelegance @ilovespideyyy @xpurpleglitter @bluelakeee @darkacademic2 @nickkie1129 @eclipsedplanet @paradisedixon @crazy-beautiful @coffee--writes @lauxrens @lilithknight1111 @buckybarnesishot310 @softladyhours @alwayssandy @quxxnxfhxll @those-sea-green-eyes @hero-ically @devilswaldorf @cc13723things @buckys1thiccbih @maravderofthephoenix

[marchioness-caprina]

You Like Me Not?

{ Final Part }

Pairings : Takami Keigo ( Hawks) x Reader

Writing Style : 3rd Person

Warning : Cussing, Stalker Tendencies, Toxic Tendencies.

Word Count : 2947

Read; { Part 1 } , { Part 2 }

3rd Person's POV

A month has Passed. Yes a whole Month has passed and y/n was surprisingly doing well; in the surface at least.

Inside. Not so well but at least she's coping up a lot better than a few weeks ago where she'd often cry herself to sleep, even in the showers. The lingering pain was still haunting her like there's no tomorrow but now she's getting used to it.

After all, First love is usually the greatest and the most painful experience.

Instead of moping around and sulking, she began investing her time and effort into being a Hero. And the effort paid off greatly; her performance was improving and she's proud to say that she's on par with the top three of the class which mainly consists of Izuku, Todoroki and Bakugou.

She was finally getting the attention that she deserved, plus it takes her mind off of Keigo and his jerkass.

However, at the end of the day she felt so empty and devoid of something---someone she longs for. And she will never accept that it was Keigo she was looking for.

But she needs to stay strong and let go of those people who can't even appreciate the little things she does; she won't let them bring her down. No, not when she's finally seeing something big for her up ahead.

Unfortunate as the saying goes ; All good things will come to an end. And for y/n, that is today.

Their class was split in groups for an Activity. Y/n along with Kirishima and Mina and Izuku were paired up to patrol the busy part of the city where crimes are mostly committed.

And guess who their Hero guide is? Yup one of them is Hawks and the other one is Enchanting.

Y/n who had a smile on her face seemed calm on first approach but inside she was cussing her heart out for the terrible luck she's got.

It had to be two of her worst nightmare. How charming.

" You Kids doing fine back there? " Keigo asked, his eyes never leading the road and beside him was a bored looking enchantress.

The two were their Hero guides for today and everyone was ecstatic. Except for y/n.

" Yeah we're good! " Kirishima answered for everyone and y/n was thankful that she didn't have to exchange a few unnecessary words with Hawks.

Her attention was now caught by the Broccoli boy right next to her who was vigorously writing notes down on his notebook.

" Oh my gosh it's the Pro Hero Hawks " Izuku was becoming a mumbling mess as He continued to scribble. His pace was a beyond anyone y/n had ever seen and she was very much intrigued by Izuku's unwavering determination.

" You know Midoriya-san, you're actually really handsome up close" Y/n muttered and izuku froze on the spot; heat rising up his cheeks as he tensed. Slowly he turned to see the h/c haired girl who was smiling at him tenderly.

" I-I-I... Umm... T-Thank you Y/n-san... A-and... You're really handsome too.... W-wait I mean n-not handsome because you aren't a g-guy w-what I meant to say was... P-pretty.... You're really pretty" Izuku gushed out and as much as y/n tried to contain her laughter she couldn't keep a straight face and began laughing at Izuku's Adorable antics.

Izuku was going red due to his rising embarrassment as he began to stutter out another list of explanation why he accidentally said it.

But their little conversation didn't go unnoticed by Keigo and Enchanting.

" Wow, she moves Fast. Better try Harder Birdy. As far as I see it; she's sick of you and look she's a boy magnet. You're gonna lose if you keep this up " Enchantress casually gave her comment and Hawks gave her a narrowed look.

" Shut up miss ' I'm a hundred years old' you better hope she'll be mine by the end of the day, I've pulled a lot of strings to get her here and it ain't easy " Hawks kept a calm expression; his lips tugging up into a smirk as he continued " This was your fault to begin with. If I can't win her over today.... Well you're gonna get wrinkles starting tomorrow. I'm not a very forgiving fellow"

" We'll see Hawks... We'll see "

" Oh, we Will "

" Hey! You two lovebirds better stop flirting and Tell Kirishima here that Cats are better than Dogs! " Mina exclaimed and with how loud her voice was; she caught everyone's attention within her first attempt.

" I told you Mina, Dogs are Manly. And they earned the title of Man's Best friend. They're dedicated and Loyal but I wanna know who you guys will vote for" Kirishima replied as he glanced back at the still very flustered Izuku and A Smiling y/n.

" W-well.... I think I prefer Dogs than Cats... Sorry Mina " Izuku gave Mina an apologetic smile as Mina pouted before turning to y/n.

" Come on y/n you gotta be on my side on this one " Mina pleaded and Kirishima pulled her away.

" That's cheating Mina, don't pull the pity card on Y/n. That's so not Manly... But.. Well which do you prefer y/n? "

" Hmm... Well... I----"

" I vote for Birds. I heard Birds are very reliable companions miss y/n. I assume that you feel the same way? " Enchantress piped in and y/n gave her a raised brow but she managed to catch on to what enchantress was saying.

" Oh? Well I understand the reason why you Like Birds Enchantress; I do too... Well I used to anyways but to answer your question I prefer Dogs... Sorry Mina. I like how a Dog will be loyal to you till the very end"

" Hmm? So you're saying Birds aren't Loyal? " Enchantress chimed and y/n's chuckle made Kirishima, Mina and Izuku shudder.

Her laugh was cold and forced; her eyes landed on Enchantress and a teasing smirk was now displayed on her face.

" Well Enchantress, Upon Personal experiences... Then my Answer is No. Birds aren't Loyal at All" Everyone shivered at her response simply because y/n had took the risk of jumping straight onto a landmine. Because Hawks had a bird based Quirk.

The temperature dropped to negative and even enchantress seemed to be affected by the sudden change of the atmosphere.

" Really Now? You wound me Baby Bird " Keigo's smile was passive aggressive and y/n didn't hesitate to return it.

" Don't call me That Hawks. And stop acting like you know me"

" I'm very Hurt by your words... Especially about your opinion on Birds. I for one am very Loyal "

" Nah, I Love dogs but I also like Bunnies... Take izuku for example. He's cute, shy and smart like a Bunny. Not Cunning, Manipulative and Sly Like a... Hawk" Y/n countered as she placed her Hand on top of Izuku's Head petting him gently.

Her action made a growl rip itself from Keigo's Throat and everyone froze at his aggressive reaction.

" Sure, I may be Cunning, Manipulative and Sly... But you forgot one thing Baby Bird "

" And what is it Hawks? "

" Hawks are Birds of Prey... And They are Very Possessive " Keigo answered, his Fetagers began to Bristow and sharpen; eyes trained on y/n's figure as he slightly lowered his stance.

" Huh? Why would I need to know tha------ahhhhh! " A scream was heard as y/n disappeared from her place as well as Hawks.

Unfortunately she was brisked away by the said Hero at A speed far top fast for the human eyes to follow.

" What the!? " Kirishima , Izuku and Mina who were knocked down on the ground after the Aerial impact of the winged hero were stunned as they frantically looked around for their Female Classmate who had vanished into thin air.

" Let them Be kids " Enchantress muttered as she gestured for the teens to follow her.

" B-but--!".

" Let. Them. Be..... Seriously I don't want to have any wrinkles because of that damn Cocky Hawks .... So let them be or else "

________________

" Hawks! Put me Down! " Y/n demanded, she was brisked away and slung onto his shoulders like a bag of potatoes and now Hawks was flying away and note that they are far from the ground.

" As you wish"

Y/n could practically feel the smirk in his voice and her heart dropped along with her body as she screamed for bloody murder because Hawks was being a Jerk and dropped her in Mid-air.

" Keiiiiigooooo! " Her scream was more of a threat and after 15 seconds of falling in Mid-air she was once again brisked away by the winged Hero who was smirking at her.

" God... I missed it so much when you used to call me by my name and not ' Hawks ' or ' Takami' " Keigo chuckled as he faced the girl who was holding onto him for dear life.

" Ah... Shit I almost died" Y/n hissed as she began shifting in her position, her legs were tightly wrapped around Keigo's Torso, her arms had snaked themselves around his neck and don't even get him started on how hard she was pushing her body against his.

" Easy baby Bird. Don't. Be too feisty with me... I might lose control " Keigo whispered bit he was met with a scowl.

" What is wrong with you? Can't you just leave me alone? If you think this is funny well it's not. I don't want to see or even hear you" Y/n spat out as her heart began pounding in her ribcage from both the adrenaline and embarrassment .

Hawks didn't answer and just gave her an intimidating glare that almost had her shrinking and burying her face on his chest.... Almost.

" Sure you don't want to see me... But really? Leeching yourself on every single boy who comes near you? You're driving me crazy Little Bird. I almost became a serial murderer because of you... Picture this... Pro hero Hawks; the first Hero to Murder a student because of Jealousy " Keigo bitterly laughed .

" Keigo... What the fuck are you saying? ---"

" I'm not done venting!, you think it's fun to mess with my head? Where the fuck were you over the past few weeks?! Seeing another man? While I stayed in my office drinking a huge load of bullshit? Driving myself crazy in that room anticipating when you'd show up again!? And now....now you have the guts to flirt with another man right in front of me " Keigo was pouring out all of his frustration right in front of her and he was far from being finished.

" For a moment there I almost considered the possibility of becoming a murderer... Just because he touched my Girl... He stole your attention away from me... I fucking waited and I resisted the urge to fucking drag you to the nearest alleyway y/n----"

" Cut to the fucking chase Keigo! "

" I Love you y/n! That's what I was trying to say Baby Bird. I Fucking Love you! " Keigo panted out and Y/n was more than speechless.

She didn't know what to feel, she didn't know how to react. After all that? And the effort she made to move on... Now... Now he's being so difficult and telling her he love her?!.

" Keigo, if you think a bullshit excuse like that is enough then you're wrong! Have you had any idea how hard and painful it was for me? How much I had to endure became I loved you? Damn well you don't and you don't have the right to slap this shit right in front of me you bastard! I cried myself to sleep and... And... You... ---" She couldn't finish her sentence when tears began to flood her eyes and was now cascading down her flushed cheeks.

She began sobbing and hitting Keigo's chest which has done absolutely zero no no damage at all.

Keigo's only response was to hold her in place and tighten his arms around her waist; letting her vent.

Of course he was awful to her. He was one hell of a fucking idiot to do this to the woman he loves.

He told her everything, it was true. He barely had any decent sleep and worked his ass off while waiting for her return. He didn't want to carry that habit of being an obsessive stalker. Of course he didn't tell her about how he had stalked her multiple times, he didn't want to scare her. But all of it was true. Including the jealousy part.

" I'm sorry Y/n....i really am--"

" Sorry ain't cutting shit you Jerk! Just when I'm moving on you stomp your way back in! "

" No y/n....don't ever move on. Stay here with me... I know this may sound toxic and shitty as fuck but hear me out... I know it hurts but bare with me... Don't move on.. Stay even if it hurts.. Don't leave me and give me every thing of who you are... No matter how painful it is "

" You selfish prick! Do you realize how greedy you sound! You fucking maniac! "

" I know! I know... But all my life I've been deprived of everything I actually wanted.. I was told to be this and not that... I never had the chance to actually have what I want so please y/n....allow me to be selfish when it comes to you... Let me be greedy and give me You. I don't care if I'm selfish because I'm only selfish when it comes to you.... So please. Beat me up, hit me, stab me... I don't care but just don't Leave me" Keigo growled; angry at his words and his selfish desires bit he couldn't help it.

Y/n who was still sobbing her heart out was listening to every word he had uttered. She fought back the idea of actually giving him a chance. She knew Keigo was sick to the bone but she's even worst knowing that this type of guy had attracted her and lured her to love him.

How... Why is she so soft when it comes to him? Is this how love really is? Because if it is... Then she doesn't give a shit. She wants him too. But she isn't going to make it any easier for him. If he wants her then he better earn her, No more miss nice y/n.

And He wanted her... He needed her and he isn't just about to let her go. He'll hunt her down even in hell.

" Keigo... You.... Ugh... I... Shit... "

" Is it working y/n...am I winning you over? "

" Only because I loved you Keigo you prick "

" Correction You still Love me...so be my girlfriend?"

" Whatever. Just so you know, I'm not saying yes to your proposal. You gotta earn me you fucking retard and it isn't going to be easy"

" I knew you were going to say something like that. And yes I'm ready to make those sacrifices for you, Just... No boys " Keigo smirked as he cradled the girl in his arms.

She still had her arms wrapped around his neck as he landed on one of the very few skyscrapers in the city.

" No can do Keigo... Your Baby Bird here is a Boy Magnet---" Upon seeing how fast Keigo's demeanor had shifted to something more gruesome she shut up immediately and nodded her head.

" You too Chicken wings... No girls for you"

" No can do, your Bird man here is a lady magnet " Keigo smirked returning her words at her.

Y/n rolled her eyes and reached her hand up to paw on his blonde hair; giving them a harsh yank but before she pulled him down, her lips meeting his in a rough and demanding kiss to avoid any form of kinky retort from Hawks.

Keigo immediately responded and took full control of dominance as his lips moved in sync with hers. Rough and passionate, but unfortunately Keigo was getting a little bit handsy; his hands made its way towards her thigh giving it a harsh squeeze but before he could do anything else she pulled away covering his mouth with her hands when he tried to catch her lips again.

" Nuh uh Keigo. We're Going slow "

" Ugh... Nice job being a Kill Joy Kid...tsk.."

" Fuck you Keigo"

" Why don't you do it yourself you Coward "

" Oh I will Keigo "

" Really? I don't mind breeding you right here if you wan---"

" Eww Keigo shut up. I was kidding. I want to be a Hero before becoming a Mom"

" Yeah, Good luck with that because I think you're gonna be a momma anytime soon because you said Yes to Me"

" I didn't say jack shit like that Keigo" Y/n snapped as she began squirming in his hold with Keigo chuckling and laughing at her poor attempt.

" Relax. I was Kidding-- "

" Thank Goodness for a moment there I actually thought you we---"

" Maybe "

" Keigo! "

End~? ♡...............

[thatonesadending]

Caleb gets to show Molly his Tower, but Essek doesn't approve (Chapter 3)

Caleb knew he was being childish, overly excited. But he had put a lot of work into his tower, spent a lot of time thinking about his friends and their own stories, and how they impacted him. He was eager to share it with Molly. The man was that was ostentation to a fault, and so Caleb thought he might appreciate how much thought and whimsy he had put into their little band of hero’s home away from home.

He lead Molly through the entrance of the Tower, he hadn't explained anything, and the tieflings reaction didn't disappoint.

“What the fucking hell. I am still dead aren't I?” He had almost ghosted past Caleb to the middle of the Entryway. Looking up, he gasped and put his hands on his hips. “Caleb Widogast, you tricked me. You made me think I was going back to the material plane, but this, - this is Heaven, isn't it.”

Caleb couldn't help but chuckle at the mocking tone. He was surprised when Molly looked back away from the ceiling, and stode back to Caleb to clasp his shoulders. “I knew you were a sneaky little bastard, smarter then you let on. Good Boy.” Caleb should have felt embarrassed at the teasing praise, but he wasn’t, at least not yet. Mollymauk continued to wander around the Entryway. He spent a good long while asking questions and Caleb gladly answering.

“How do you get up there?” Molly pointed up thru the center of the tower, after taking in all the windows and art surrounding him.

“Come, I will show you.” Caleb offered his hand to the other man, normally he would not be so bold, but he was riding a high from having all of his worries and suspicions so easily dowsed. He could overthink things later, currently, he just wanted to think about the now, something that Molly valued.

Molly took it easy, and Caleb told him all he had to do was think “up”. Of course, in an effort not to be outdone, he said what Caleb could guess was the infernal translation and pulled the wizard with him.

They made it to the center of the salon floor before Mollymauk stopped and stared. Truth be told, isn't not that Caleb had forgotten, but he had never thought Molly would see the salon, never prepared an explanation for the large stained glass window. He had made it of course as a tribute that the other Nien would appreciate as much as he. It hadn't occurred to Caleb until that moment that he had surrounded his books, his knowledge around the lighted artwork that represented Mollymauk Tealeaf.

“Caleb, I -” he wasn't sure he had ever experienced Molly speechless before. Embarrassment was spreading up his neck, and Caleb wanted to find a way to explain, minimize - lie - about the significance of the fact that the third floor of the Mighty Niens home has a vast library containing all the books and knowledge Caleb ever held dear, and a larger than life depiction of Molly’s tattoos, that case color and light on all of Caleb’s texts. He wanted to say that he had just made it as a comfort for his still grieving friends, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t lie.

Surprisingly Cad started answering some of Molly’s questions when he eventually stopped staring. It wasn't until Caleb scanned the room and remembered that Essek was also with them, that he realized Caduceus was being more polite than him.

Caleb tentatively walked over to the other wizard, unsure of what to say. There had been a lot of floating and conflicting feelings around the two of them as of late, but Caleb had just started to feel like they had been unraveling them, getting to a place where they could be more than friends with a tentative trust. But then Caleb had asked Essek on this trip, and then literally kissed the enemy. He had no idea what the man must be thinking.

“Thank you for guarding me, you know - while I cast th-”, but he was caught off by Essek.”

“This is foolish.” Caleb hadn't been expecting the reprimand. Essek didn't let him respond.

“You have now twice let a man that may or not contain a friend that you knew for only a couple of weeks into your home. Shared your secrets. For what Caleb? I understand that your friends and you -”

Caleb cut him off abruptly, but did not slow Essek down. “Our friends.”

“Yes, our friends - have an affinity for this ‘Mollymauk’, but it is my understanding that you only knew the man for 4-5 weeks. How do you know this isn’t Lucien? Playing off your limited memories of a man who barely knew you. Whereas I -”

The door two floors below them slammed open, and Caleb found himself prepping to use his arcane fire, but all he saw was the rest of the Nien trudging in, and closing the door behind the,

“Cad, do you think you could come heal Beau? She is ok, we got Cree, but Jester is a bit tapped.” Fjord’s deep voice rung through the tower. Cad excused himself from Molly, and drifted down to Beau. the rest of them followed soon after, back to the Entryway. Caddie quickly took care of all of them, but took care not to include Cree, who was flung over Yasha’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes and unconscious.

“Molly what do you think?! Isnt great?!” Jester asked to her fellow tiefling.

“Love, I am fairly sure that I am stuck in a coma or a demiplane somewhere, but this all couldn't possibly be real.” He said with a grateful smile on his face. Caleb barely heard Essek mutter, uncharastically, ‘I am sure you would fuck with demiplanes.’ Before Caleb could confront that, Molly was calling to him.

“Caleb, this is truly fantastic, and I really would love to see it all, but I wasn't lying when I said I was tired. I don't know what that other guy did with this body, but it doesn't feel like sleep.”

“Oh Molly! You can stay with me! I am sure you don't want to be alone, and Essek has the guest room, and my room is like - really really awesome. We can totally snuggle and I can-” Fjord was growling again, it wasn't loud, but just displeased enough that Jester heard. Caleb wasn't sure what to make about this recent possessive streak, but he knew his own jealousy isn't helpful since Fjord had obviously scared Molly.

“Or maybe Yasha would be better, she really really missed you.” Jester supplied, with a bashful smile.

“That would be divine dear, if that’s ok with Yash, don't want to intrude, love.” Molly said, but he seemed to be struggling with something. It Caleb only a moment to realize that the man was overwhelmed with their change in dynamic, unsure of how he fit in, and might need some space.

“Actually, that might not be necessary.” Caleb hadn't planned on telling them all, but he also hadn't planned on being able to bring back Molly as such. He kicked himself mentally for not arranging things in the tower before he cast it, but hopefully the others left him alone about it. He wasn’t going to hold his pride up before making sure Molly knew that he belonged here with his family.. “Both Mollymauk and Essek have their own rooms if they choose to stay in them.”

Caleb noticed Essek’s normally imperceptible demeanor change, soften just a bit, he was thankful for it after their brief but tense exchange.

“Ah, Essek, I had wanted to show you your first night here, but unfortunately circumstances as they were prevented that. I would show you tonight, but I would like to take Mollymauk to his, seeing as this is all a bit new to him.” Caleb waved his hands to indicate the tower, but what he didn't say was why it could only be him that could show Molly.

“That is alright. I would be glad to wait, I didn't get to explore your library as much as I would have liked anyway.” Essek’s offer of patience was welcomed. It meant that he wasn’t too angry with Caleb. “Thank you, Essek.” Caleb knew the others didn't understand Caleb’s gratitude, but he didn't care at this moment.

“Caleb, when did you find the time to make Molly a room? And I count the same amount of doors, where is?” Of course, Beau would be the one to pick up and challenge Caleb on this first. He couldn't think of a convincing lie, so he tried to go for nonchalant.

“On the floor above Veth’s and my own.” He tried to say it casually, but not a single pair of eyes around him didn't stare.

“Caleb, when did you put a room for Molly on the eighth floor?” The question came telepathically, though Caleb could hear Beau’s pointed tone perfectly. His eyes immediately jumped to his hands, the other red eye still there. Before panic could flood him about what that meant, Beau was in his mind again.

“We can worry about it tomorrow, Molly doesn't have any eyes on him other than his tattoos, we probably just have to kill this city. Now, tell me, when?”

So he wasn’t going to be able to avoid this.

“It’s always been there.” A simple answer to a very complicated issue.

“Fuck man, why didn't you - I, I didn't know.” Caleb didn’t like hearing her pity. Part of him was grateful that she understood why he had included it in his floor of memories, however, he didn't want to talk about it just now. Everyone was still staring at him, they knew Beau was in his head, and likely knew what she was asking, but mercifully not saying anything.

“Ja, well, Yasha can put Cree in one of the rooms of requirement, no? For us to deal with tomorrow?” He supplied quickly to change the focus of the room. “And I can take Mollymauk, to at least change into different clothes for now, and he can choose where he stays.”

“That sounds like a fine plan, I can help Yasha. Then we all can get settled for some needed rest.” Fjord supplied, taking control of the situation from Caleb, which he was very grateful for.

“Lovely. Caleb, dear, take me wherever you want, to be honest, I would be happy to sleep on the floor right here, but I’d love a change of clothes just as much.” Molly didn’t look tired, as much as a man who really wanted to catch his breath. Caleb knew this feeling well, and only hoped he could maybe provide a calm space for Molly to get a little more acclimated in. Without really thinking about it, he put out his hand to the purple man, and of course, he took it in return.

“You only need to think the word ‘up’.” He reminded.

“But where is the fun in that? Up.” Molly tugged Caleb up through the floors of the towers, and he couldn't help but laugh at the other man’s enthusiasm as he fell upwards.

[shra-vasti]

Without you

Pairing : Hong Joshua x reader

Type : Soulmate au, idol au

Genre : angst to fluff

Warnings : initial denial of the soulmate bond to not hurt someone special

Word count : 5.3k

Soulmate au type : In which two soulmates are connected through red string of fate and they can feel the tugging of the string when their soulmate is under 50 meters radar.

It was snowing softly when he first saw you, clutching your fist tightly cause the gloves didn't provide enough warmth to your body. Maybe that's the reason you didn't felt the tug at your left finger where the red string was attached but Joshua did. As soon as he felt the tug he snap his head in your direction, his heart beating loudly.

There you were in your dull red long coat and a matching red beanie, black jeans and snowboots. Your hair were loose and mini snowflakes adorn on your hair like the lightening on Christmas tree. You were breathtaking he concluded. Never once in his life he felt such a strong impact of someone but then again, he was fated with you, there was a reason you were his soulmate.

He smiled at your annoyed expression, how you complained your friend and stomp your feet, you may have stomp on his heart with that too but he would never tell you. He saw you walking upto the bus and hoping upon it. He didn't make an effort to approach you. He just stood there, his heart beating loudly as he saw you going further away till he couldn't feel the tug anymore but that wasn't a problem.

You were breathtakingly beautiful and he knew he would never forget your face ever cause now it was etched right on his heart and he knew he would recognize you even if you were in the middle of crowd.

Two delicate hands cup his face diverting his direction away from you. His eyes were met with a confused ones silently asking him where his attention was. He shook his head as he put a strand of her hair away from her face and smiled at her.

"Nothing. I just thought I saw someone familiar but I was wrong." he smiled at her. He couldn't just tell her he saw his soulmate, not when he knew it would break her apart. She still looked at him, a bit skeptical which made him chuckle to avoid the awkwardness building inside him. He felt like he was being caught doing something he was banned from.

"Are you sure? When I was coming out of the shop I saw you staring at the same place for a long time." She definitely saw him staring longingly at something or she was just being delusional. How wouldn't she when she knew he wasn't hers in first place.

"Haeun it's really nothing okay. I was just thinking at that time. Let me drop you home." he held her hand as he guided her towards her home. The walk was silent as compared to the other walks they have taken together. Both of them had some or the other thing occupying their mind.

"Will you stay the night?" Haeun asked not sure about his answer as she hugged him goodbye, it was worth a try though.

"I've a schedule in the morning." he smiled apologetically at her as he ruffled her hair when she pouted. "I can stop for an hour or so though." her face lit up after hearing those words from his mouth. He was always so busy with his schedules that even an hour more was more than enough to make her this happy. She pulled his hands and dragged him inside her house.

Haeun was preparing food for both of them since she insisted that it was getting late and she knew he would skip the meal to rest more. Joshua watched her from the door frame before making his way towards the counter opposite to where she was working.

He took in her form, how she softly hummed her favorite song while doing cooking, how she would hop to get things far away from her reach, how she had a habit of blowing her hairs out of her face. He adorn her with all of his heart and then his eyes landed on the permanent black band on her forearm and his smile faded.

She was one of Minghao's close friend and that's how Joshua met her. He enjoyed her company and so did she, it wasn't far enough when they started dating, Minghao was reluctant at first about the whole dating thing not because he didn't support two of his close friend but because Joshua was bound to someone else and Haeun wouldn't ever be able to meet the person she was bound to cause he died even before she could meet him.

She was one close friend Minghao had aside from his idol life and he tried to talk it out but Joshua and Haeun already started growing more fond of each other to even make sense out of Minghao's talking. Joshua genuinely felt for her and he cared about her a lot. No one knew her more better than him which made Minghao step back and let the two do whatever they wanted.

Joshua was the kind of person who would let his feelings take control of him and don't think of the long run and that's why he wasn't sure how to feel about you now that you kind of came into his life. He knew universe would make you two cross paths till you actually meet and he didn't know how to feel about that.

He promised Haeun that he will be there for her forever and he would always dodged her question about his soulmate so he didn't actually have to answer her and always went on with the classic 'they aren't in my life and we will see about it afterward'. He was a coward he knew but he was so sure that he was going to be in Haeun's life forever until he saw you and now he saw you everywhere.

Unconsciously he would imagine how it would be like if you were cooking meals for him instead of Haeun or how you would laugh at his jokes instead of Haeun. The idea itself seemed so endearing for him but it broke his heart at the same time. Someone was going to get hurt in the end and he didn't have the guts to break Haeun after all she has been in her life. But you didn't deserve the heartbreak too. You may have look up to being with your soulmate since the time you got your mark and it wasn't your fault it was him.

He totally blamed himself and his spontaneous life decisions. He blamed himself for always going with the flow instead of thinking it through. He blamed himself for not listening to Minghao and this all things came into his mind after only staring at you for like 5 minutes. He wasn't sure how much his heart was gonna betray him if you actually come and talk with him.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" her question made him startled since he was zoned out and she laughed at him. He laughed with her and help her with the serving as they began eating. He can always think about the outcome afterwards.

"When will you be free next time?" Haeun asked as she waved goodbye to Joshua after the dinner.

"Maybe after two or three weeks I'm not sure of the schedule. I'll let you know." he smiled as he got in the car waiting for him infront of her doorstep.

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Seoul was treating you way better than you had imagine. It's been a little more than a year since you came to Korea as an intern and the life was pretty amazing considering you always wanted to be independent. Seoul wasn't new for you, some of your friends worked here and you had compeleted your high school here before going overseas for the college.

This wasn't your first winter here but it was late winter inclining more towards spring when you first put your foot in Seoul, so now that you were experiencing the winter form the start, you realised how magical it was.

You got up from your bed keeping the track of time. You were going to meet one of your high-school friend whom you met during the time you were returning from your workshop. It's been a while since you last contacted her but you did remember her as someone whom you were really close with during your high school time. She helped you in adjusting a lot and made high-school easier for you.

Generally you didn't like people of your past inviting themselves in your present cause you always wanted to have a totally different lifestyle without caring of your past. You kept only selective people in your life and other were just some part of your past which you wanted to keep the same forever. But she wasn't someone you would cut off from. She had done a lot for you to do that. And you both knew each other better but busy college life forced you two to separate but you were happy to finally meet her.

You had been spending the last week with her and she told you a lot about her current life, her work, her new hobbies, her boyfriend everything and it made you really happy that she found someone for her. When you were in high school and you got your soulmark she was devastated to find out her soulmate was dead and it was really hard to handle her at that time but with time she just accepted that fact preaching that she was happy that at least one among you two was going to have their happy ending.

Your phone rang from your nightstand and you took a leap to dive towards it and smiled when her name popped up, Jung Haeun, before you could pick up the call she hung up. You were going to call her back when you noticed she had left a message for you which you didn't read and maybe that's why she missed call you.

"Sorry babe, I'll be running late since I don't have a ride so if you don't mind will you come pick me up at the central building. I'm here with my boyfriend, I'll introduce him to you at the same time. Whatcha say?"

You replied a quick yes to her and that you'll be there in 30 minutes and got up from the bed to get dress and head out. You were just planning to wear your jeans and jacket and go but now that she was introducing her boyfriend to you the least you could do was look presentable you thought. And got out of the house towards where Haeun was.

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You parked your car, taking your purse and sliding it up on your shoulder you got out of the car and locked it. You sighed calming your nerves, you had social anxiety and meeting even a single new person was a great task for you. Haeun was going to be there and she knows about it so it will be fine, you muttered to no one in particular.

You started walking towards the building, glancing a bit here and there to see if Haeun was around or even a mere silhouette of a girl with a boy beside her. You were looking straight as you felt a tug on your left ring finger making you stop abruptly in your spot. It was the first time you had felt the tug and your breathe hitched. You spun around on your heels towards the direction of the tug and you saw a boy around 5'10 height head towards your direction with his eyes locked on his left hand and his other hand holding a water bottle.

Sweat started forming on your hands and forehead, you didn't know what to do at this point, the thought of meeting Haeun and her boyfriend being completely abandoned from your head as your feet started moving in his direction. He looked up finally locking his eyes with your. His eyes widened, he wasn't expecting to meet you here out of all the places and times. You smiled at him wanting to take another step towards him when Haeun's voice called your name.

Your eyes followed her as she appeared from behind the boy locking her hand in one of his arm and smiling at him. She left his hands and walked towards you stepping in front of you to engulf you in a tight hug. You smiled at her, confusion laced on your face as you hug her back as tightly as possible.

You look towards the boy again as you gently rub circle on your ring finger with your thumb a habit you had picked on since the time you got that string attached on your finger, you gulped as you faintly assumed that your soulmate was Haeun's boyfriend, you wanted that to be false. You pulled the string to make sure you didn't assume someone else as your soulmate. Maybe you had a misunderstanding, but all of your doubts vanished when you saw his left hand's ring finger moving along with the pull.

"You are right on time." Haeun smiled as she let go off you, holding your hand as she dragged you towards him, finally introducing you two. "And this is Hong Jisoo or you can call him Joshua."

You smiled awkwardly at him, your throat suddenly dry and all the words jumbling inside your head as you blanking took in what's happening. You felt Haeun nudge you startling you a bit as you saw his extended hand. You gulped before reaching forward to held his hand in a firm handshake biting your lips slightly due to the wild emotions you were currently feeling.

"Excuse her, she' gets a little awkward while meeting new people but once you know her she's a sunshine." Haeun laughed proceeding to tell him about how you two became friends. You three were currently inside a cafe which wasn't crowded at all.

"Yah you two aren't talking much, why am I the only one talking?" Haeun complained crossing her arms across her chest and glared at both of you. How were you supposed to be all happy when you find out your soulmate was dating your one of the closest friend whom you cared about the most and from the stories you have heard about her, he didn't have any plan of leaving her.

"Well that's because you are the common ground here so you have to do the most talking." you smiled at her as you put both of your hands on your lap and clutch them tightly together. How were you supposed to get through this. The whole meeting was nothing but awkward. After sometime even Haeun could tell the tension between you and Joshua hadn't faded even though she thought it would as the time goes on. Joshua's face was full of guilt/ sympathy or a mix of both you couldn't tell.

Haeun told you how she met him and everything else which she didn't tell in the last one week. She informed you about him being an idol and told you to be cautious while spilling his name in front of anyone else. "She's the only one aside from Minghao whom I trust the most and I'm sure she will never do anything which will put your career or me in danger." she explained Joshua referring about you keeping their relationship as a secret. He nodded at her and smiled in your direction. You looked towards your empty plate silently praying for this to get over soon since you could feel your emotions taking a toll on you.

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"Shua Hyung, are you even listening?" Soonyoung asked as he look towards Joshua from the mirror of their dance practice room. Joshua locked his eyes with the younger one who was clearly frustrated with his lack of attention during the practice.

"Is something bothering you or what, you seemed to be losing your focus more from these past weeks. You keep on zoning out." Jeonghan said referring to the countless of time Chan had to separately teach him some moves because he couldn't remember due to him zoning out.

"I'm sorry. I will make sure this won't happen again." Joshua replied as he sighed.

"I think we should call it a day and practice tomorrow. I'm tired and it will be great for Shua too rest for sometime. I think he has a lot in his mind right now." Seungcheol said with everyone nodding and retrieving back to get their things and head towards their dorm room.

Minghao looked at Joshua as he packed his bag, his mind wondering if anything had happened in between Joshua and Haeun. They aren't the one to fight, they always talk their problems out and Joshua was never the one to lose his focus during their practices unlike now.

"Are things getting wrong with Haeun?" Minghao asked as both of them stopped and asked the other members to go ahead. The older just sighed, feeling quite a burden on his shoulders as he stood in front of Minghao. The younger had stopped him countless of time telling him to not get so close with his friend cause he knew well that if Joshua's soulmate would make an appearance someone would eventually get hurt. But Joshua didn't listen and he wasn't sure how he was going to tell anyone about the whole thing particularly to Minghao.

"Are you just going to keep on sighing and not say anything?" Minghao asked getting frustrated that Joshua only kept on avoiding having eye contact with him.

"I don't know how to say." Joshua said as he finally shot his head up, biting his lips and internally trying to form a correct way to let the things inside him out. He knew he had to tell someone and have their advice otherwise he would get crazy bottling up his feelings like that. He decided to tell everything to Minghao. He seems to be the right one given that he was the one to knock some sense into him from the starting.

"Just say it. There's always a solution to every problem."

Minghao took in the way Joshua was getting more nervous the more he got closer to explain. At other times Joshua would just come and rant about his problem and get done with it. Did he do something so terrible that he can't say anything about it? It wasn't like Joshua.

"Did you perhaps met your soulmate?" the question left Minghao's mouth even before he could think about it shocking both himself and Joshua. But the former didn't even need an answer to confrim as Joshua look down towards his feet, his shoulders slumping down.

"I'm sorry." were the only word that left his mouth as he look towards Minghao. Joshua didn't know how Minghao was going to react. He knew that the younger one was going to be very angry. But he couldn't lie to him, he was not only his friend but a family too.

"Why are you apologising me? I told you this was going to happen. Did you tell Haeun about this?" there wasn't any point in getting angry, it would require too much stress and energy and Minghao knew better than letting anger take a toll on himself.

"I didn't. How can I? I don't want to hurt her after all she has gone through but I can't get the hurt clearly evident in my soulmate's eyes when she found out I'm dating Haeun. And Haeun doesn't have the slightest idea about it." Joshua sighed for the umpteenth time.

"Wait. Your soulmate knows you are dating Haeun? When did all of this escalated so quickly? You found your soulmate and she knew about your relationship even when you are an idol and your relationship is kept a secret?"

"No. Actually I saw her few weeks ago for the first time but I was with Haeun and I didn't even think of making an effort to approach her. Then after I drop Haeun home she asked when I have my next schedule and I told her about it." Joshua spoke eyeing Minghao from time to time. Minghao just motioned him to finish his whole story.

"The next day she informed about meeting with her high school friend who was with her during the time she found out about her soulmate's death. She told me so much about her so I asked her if I could meet her since she played such a big role in her life and surprisingly she said that she would like if we both met and we did. But it turned out that her close friend was my soulmate."

Joshua finished as Minghao just blinked, his brain taking a while to process the information. "She didn't utter anything about her being your soulmate to Haeun?" he asked. Joshua shook his head.

"She knows Haeun's situation and they were pretty close. She didn't even make an effort to even show that I was her soulmate. She just sat there blankly but we had a brief moment before Haeun showed up and I knew she was more than happy to finally find her soulmate before Haeun me as her boy friend and I never once in my life felt so bad about myself."

Minghao nodded, it was no one's fault. Even if he tried, how was his Hyung going to get out of this situation he didn't know.

"When are you going to tell Haeun about her? You soon have to break up with her."

"I'm not going to tell her about this."

Minghao groaned, exactly what was going on Joshua's mind to even say that. "So you are going to date your soulmate behind her back?" Minghao's question threw him off guard as Joshua shook his head vigorously.

"See my soulmate is already very hurt and although this is going to be painful for both of us, she is already hurt. Both of us can't afford to hurt Haeun. I'm sure she will understand my decision. I've promised Haeun I'll be with her. I'm going to keep my words. I know this is impulsive and I don't know what will happen in the future but I care too much for Haeun to hurt her. Someone was going to get hurt because of me in the end, it just wasn't confirmed who but since my soulmate is already hurt then I'll let that be."

"You can't do that with her. You can't hurt her. I'll not allow you to do so." Minghao and Joshua's eyes widened as they took in the site of Haeun standing near their practice room's door which was opened fully. The members must have left it just like that.

"How long were present?" Joshua asked as Haeun took long steps to come near the two boys who were deeply discussing.

"Long enough to know what's the fuss is all about." Haeun replied as she wiped her tears away. She was heartbroken but she knew this day would come and although she had been mentally preparing herself for this day it still hurt like hell. But you didn't deserve what Joshua planning to give you. She didn't want to be selfish and steal away your share of happiness. She remembered about the things you did for her and she thought of this as a payback of all the things you had done for her. Joshua wasn't her in the first place but she was going to make sure that you not end up like her.

"Haeun listen, I know all of this is effecting you negatively and I know she's your friend but we will get through it okay. I'm not leaving you. I swear you don't have to worry." Joshua said as he cupped her cheeks. Haeun shook her head clearly in denial.

"You are once again being impulsive Joshua. Why don't you just sit down and think through about the situation than going with the flow. I want you to think of yourself and your happiness for once."

At this rate both of them had started crying and Minghao excused himself informing both of them that he will head to the dorms as he felt like he was invading their privacy.

"Haeun I can't hurt you. I promised you I will keep you happy."

"Joshua listen to me......"

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You were leaned against your kitchen counter as you waited for the water to boil. The countless days of crying left your throat sore. The emotional pain you were going through was actually starting to physically hurt you to the point you even search if people could die from a heartbreak.

You called in sick and the company you were currently working for allowed you to have some rest. At least the universe was letting you mourn properly. Your friends and Haeun did contact you but you just declined all of that saying you just needed some time alone.

You let the water cool down a bit before drinking it, immediately wincing at the sensation it created when you drink it. You got out of kitchen and headed towards your bed again. You had been inside the house for so long that even your own bedroom started to feel a little too boring for your like.

You plopped yourself lazyly on your stomach holding the pillow close to you as you let your mind wonder. Haeun looked so in love. You never once imagined you will meet your soulmate in such circumstances. He didn't try to contact you after what happened, may his love for Haeun was more than your bond. It wasn't his fault that he was bound to you, he had the right to reject you as his soulmate but that would happen only if both of you genuinely wanted to break the bond and you knew you were far from rejecting him.

Within these days thanks to your curious nature you found out more about him and his group. His music and voice was enough to calm your heart at the same time hurting you because you knew it belonged to someone else.

You couldn't imagine yourself being selfish enough to hurt Haeun and steal Joshua from her, if Joshua even wanted to be with you. You really wanted Haeun to be happy and she was. How will she react if she finds out her boyfriend is your soulmate? Will she be selfish and be with him still? Or talk it out with him to get back to you?

Fate had its own way and if you were fated with him, there was a reason to it. Maybe at the end of the road if you wait enough for him, he will come back to you?

Your thoughts were interrupted back as the ringing of your doorbell filled your ears. Your ring finger felt the tuck but you weren't sure about it. He couldn't be here not when he didn't want to show himself up after your meet. You weren't expecting anyone at this hour but you found yourself heading towards the door anyway. The bell rang again making you frustrated as you open the door without looking at the peephole.

"Joshua..." you looked at him, you weren't expecting him to even show up at your door step. He didn't even know your number. But before you could ask him to come inside the house he stepped in front of you stopping you mid sentence as he circled his one arm around you closing the door with his other.

You put your hands on his shoulder, unable to keep up your balance as he abruptly came so close to you. Bringing his other hand, he placed it on your nape taking a deep breath in leaned in pressing his lips on yours. Your eyes widened and you stood there stiff.

You felt his hand rub your back up and down to calm your nerves and he sighed in relief when he felt you visibly relax under him, finally kissing him back. The kiss was gentle both of you just enjoying the feeling of it. You didn't know what was happening but you didn't mind being this close with him. You didn't know if you ever were going to be this close to him so even if right now he was out of his mind, you mind didn't mind savoring this moment. You encircled your arms around his neck pulling him more closely.

He groaned but pulled away from the kiss, breathlessly looking at you. He removed the strands of hair out of your face before pecking your lips lightly.

You studied his face, he looked tired. His dark circle prominent and he was sweaty. His eyes were blood shot red, he was crying cause after crying for days you knew how the eyes looked like. You were sure yours weren't any different than his.

"Why are you here?" the question wasn't supposed to be this rude for the listener but you found yourself wincing at your own tone. "I didn't mean it in a rude way." you quickly added as you pushed yourself away from him.

"Am I not supposed to be here?" he asked tilting his head to the side and raise his eyebrows at you.

"It isn't like that." you said a bit too quickly for your liking and look away in embarrassment when you heard him chuckle.

"I'm here because of you, for you." he replied immediately looking down as you faced him. He knew he would once again kiss you senseless if he stared in your direction for long.

"What about Haeun? Did you tell her about us being soulmates?" us, the word itself sent tingles down his body. He like that us consisted of you and him. He liked the sound of that. No he liked the sound of your voice.

"She came to know about it." he said finally looking up and watching horror painted on your face.

"Then why are you here and not consoling her? Is she okay?" you asked him confused. Was she angry? Did she felt bad? Was she hurt? Were the words you wanted to ask but one at a time you didn't want to bombard him with so many questions.

"Relax. She was the one who helped me to figure out who I want to be with. She was right. I shouldn't get impulsive. When she asked me to be selfish for one time I couldn't even think about anything else than run to you. Without you, I can't imagine anything. Sure we don't know each other that well but I felt like I know you since eternity when you held my hand and I want nothing more than for you to keep on holding it till our last breath."

You smiled as tears ran down your face. It must have been so difficult for her but she still was the same Haeun from high school. He stepped forward engulfing him in a hug. You had him, you were more than happy.

"I'll always be there for you. You can lean on me now." he said as he kissed your forehand and rock you back and forth slowly.

"I'll always be there for you too."

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

"It was hard without you, the thoughts of being alone scared me. So I spent my time foolishly, didn't even know how the time way passing. I didn't know anything. Even if it's hard, you don't have to be alone."

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Nine

Words: 4.1k

Warning(s): explicit language, violence, mentions of drug abuse

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I've never seen Nikki like this. I've rarely seen him cry, I've never seen him cry sober, and I've never even known it was possible for him to let himself cry like this. 

He's sobbing an excruciatingly painful cry, head between his knees, hands in his hair. 

Is this how he felt when I was locked in the bathroom for hours, screaming and crying and wailing out sorrow after learning about him and Vanity? Helpless and shitty, knowing he'd go back and change what he did if he could but knowing that telling me that wouldn't make me feel any better? 

I don't say anything. Amber doesn't say anything. We both just let him get it all out.

Minutes later, when he starts trying to calm down, he slowly wipes his eyes and glances up at me, before he starts up again, shaking his head, hanging his head low once again. 

"Vivian," Amber says softly over him and I look at her. "Go to him." She mouths, motioning to him and I raise my brows. 

Has she lost her fucking mind? He's probably pissed and distraught enough to choke me out, right now. He probably hates me, and I don't blame him. 

"Go." She mouths, sternly, waving her hand in his direction and I take a heavy breath and slowly get out of my seat and very carefully step to him.

"Nikki," I say weakly, getting on my knees,  my shaking hand rubbing his shoulder. 

He wraps his arms around me, tight, pulling me to him, burying his face into my shoulder. 

"I'm sorry." He tells me, and I squeeze my eyes shut, squeezing him. 

"It's not your fault, Nikki, it's not your fault." I assure him, holding back my own tears. 

"Yes, it is. I'm sorry, Vivian."  He argues through his tears. 

We just hold each other, and when he calms down a little bit, Amber calmly says, "Nikki, why are you so upset over this?" 

She knows why, she just wants him to confirm. 

He pulls away from me and sniffles and I wipe his stray tears with my thumbs before reaching to her desk where she's holding out her box of tissues for me to grab. 

"Because I know it's my fault." 

"Why do you think it's your fault?"

"Because I had an affair, first, and she went to him because she was really hurt." He shakily lets out, trying to bring himself back down from his hysteria. 

"Nikki, look at your wife." Amber says to him and he looks me in the eyes, obviously struggling not to look away. "Repeat after me, alright?" 

He nods. 

"Vivian, I'm sorry." She starts and more tears topple from his eyes. 

"Vivian, I'm--" He takes a breath. "I'm sorry." 

"That I made you feel," 

"That I made you feel," 

"Like you had no other choice," 

"Like you had no other choice,"

"But to go have sex with someone else,"

"But to go have sex with someone else,"

"Despite it being no fault of my own," 

"Despite it being…" He closes his eyes and sighs, as if trying to make this part engrain into his mind, "...no fault of my own," 

"Despite you being in charge of your body and what you do with it," 

"Despite you being in charge of your body and what you do with it," 

"I am so sorry."

"I am so sorry." 

"Please, forgive me."

"Please, forgive me." 

"Now, Vivian." Amber says to me, next, and I sniffle, looking at her. "Look at your husband." 

I look at him and rub my lips together, nervously. 

"Repeat after me." She adds and I nod. "Nikki, I'm sorry." 

"Nikki, I'm sorry." 

"That I made an irrational decision," 

"That I made an irrational decision,"

"After years of hiding hurt and pain and heartbreak because of your irrational decisions,"

"After years of hiding hurt and pain and heartbreak because of your irrational decisions," 

"But this is not your fault," 

"But this is not your fault," 

"I no longer want to blame my mistakes on others,"

"I no longer want to blame my mistakes on others," 

"You did not force me to get in bed with someone else," 

"You did not force me to get in bed with someone else," 

"You just made me feel like I didn't have a choice,"

"You just made me feel like I didn't have a choice,"

"Because the pain of learning of your affair,"

"Because the pain of learning of your affair," 

"Put an irrational thought and sought out decision in my mind and I could not help myself enough to extinguish it."

"Put an irrational thought and sought out decision in my mind and I could not help myself enough to extinguish it."

"Please, forgive me."

"Please, forgive me." 

"Okay," Amber nods, her voice soothing, "Nikki, what it is that you need to tell Vivian before you two continue to work on this relationship." 

It's clear that this is something he's already discussed with her, and I wait patiently as he exhales, very, very, heavily. 

I can't imagine what it looked like from outside the door of Amber's office. If a passerby happened to peek in the small little window of the door…

"Roxy, Vanity, Donna…" I shakily state. 

I'm not in a ball, pleading with God to kill me like I was when I first found out he had dared to see another woman, but now that I know better…

"...And some others." His tears are dry now, as if he's mustering up all of his macho manliness to brace for impact when I start trying to hit him. 

"Some others?" I clench my jaw, my nails digging into his jeans where they're resting over his kneecaps and he rubs his face. 

"A few others." He says next, avoiding a definite number. 

"How many is a 'few'?" I grit out and he looks at Amber. 

"Tell her." She encourages him, sternly. 

"Nikki," 

He lets out a breath and he clears his throat. 

"If a 'few' were to have a number, about how many would it be that you've had some exchange that would be considered cheating in your wife's mind, from the time you got married to now." Amber adds. 

"Around two-hundred." He admits. 

I think he's kidding at first, over exaggerating or being sarcastic because I can't fathom sleeping with two hundred people in four years while in a supposed committed relationship. 

"You're full of shit." I let out a terrified chuckle and he closes his eyes for a second. "Seriously, Nikki, what's the number?" 

"Why does it matter? You're staying with him after one, aren't you?" Amber asks and I look at her. 

"Maybe a little more than that, maybe a little less, I didn't try to keep count." He mumbles.

"Y-You've slept with…you…" I feel a prickling, scalding heat all over my skin. 

I get myself away from him to try to calm myself down, but I can't. 

It's like putting baking soda and vinegar together. 

"Nikki, why did you do that?" Is all I can get out that isn't about how much I hate him right now. 

"The same reason you went to him. Because I felt like I didn't have any other option and I was desperate." 

"Desperate for what?!" I demand, enraged, now. 

"Vivian," Amber starts but I completely cut her short. 

"I went to Duff because I had spent years in a marriage with a junkie that did everything he could to choose drugs over me and throw me to the fucking wolves!" 

"And I spent years in a marriage to an ungrateful bitch that I couldn't ever make happy!" He snaps next, standing up. 

"I would've been plenty happy had you sobered the fuck up!" 

"You'd lay in bed for weeks at a time and refuse to take your fucking medication and then wouldn't even let me try to touch you, Vivian, and God fucking knows the times you'd actually let me try to get it in, you'd lay there like sex with me was the most boring chore in the fucking world! And the times you weren't like that, you'd still manage to watch me break my back to make you happy and then spit in my fucking face and act like it wasn't ever gonna be enough, that I wasn't ever gonna be a enough!" 

"I was depressed, Nikki!"

"Trust me, I know, I fucking know!" He shouts back. 

An ear piercing screech makes us both shut up and wince, and I see Amber holding an airhorn. 

"I don't yell." She states, a brow raised as she looks at us. "Sit down. Both of you." She orders next and we both slowly sit down, taking deep breaths. "No wonder you're in such bad shape--neither of you know how to talk to each other. You just talk at each other and start yelling when the other person gets defensive over you talking at them." She snaps, shaking her head a little. "And quit cursing at each other. That's another reason you're in this mess. You're both bitter and poisonous and contaminating each other." She adds, sternly, and we slink down in our chairs. "Vivian, he has shot you, he has strangled you, publicly humiliated you, he has chosen everything under the sun over you, but you draw the line at the fact he's had sex with two-hundred other women?" 

I don't say a word. 

"Why is that the thing that's going to break the camel's back? When you come in here pregnant with another man's baby and got him on his knees crying and telling you it's his fault?" She goes in on me. "Go from crying and boohooing together to calling each other awful names and cursing and 'eff this' and 'eff that' and 'eff you'--can I tell you something? You can't stand each other now but once upon a time you must've really liked whatever it is that drives you crazy about the other person because you chose each other and married each other." She reminds us. "And I know it isn't just the drugs that cause fights because he's completely sober today and you're jumping on him for being honest with you when there's been times he has lied through his teeth to hell and back to you." She looks at me. "And you," she looks at Nikki. "I better not hear you ever call your wife a 'bitch' again. She's not a dog, even though you love to talk to her like she is one."

Again, we're both quiet.

"Vivian, how do you feel about Nikki admitting to you that he's been unfaithful?" She asks. 

"You can't tell how I feel?" I smartly ask. 

"Screaming and cursing isn't explaining how you feel. I don't specialize in translating foolishness--I specialize in helping people heal through positive communication--not verbal abuse." She replies. "Now, how do you feel about what your husband shared with you?" 

"I'm mad." 

"Why?" 

"Because…" I feel tears come to my eyes. 

"Because why?" 

I sniffle. 

"You two talk to each other like you've never had to walk through something and communicate peacefully and calmly about a situation." She says next, handing me a tissue. 

"We haven't, really." Nikki admits while I'm occupied with trying to stop my crying. 

"You've been together for six years, nearly seven, and you've never talked through a disagreement or bump in the road?" 

We both just avoid looking at her. 

"You just yell and scream until one of you finally gives up in the argument and drops it completely?" She asks next. 

"Basically." He says.

"Sex." I add, wiping my nose. "We usually just sleep together and then we're over whatever it is we were fighting about." I explain and she raises her brows.

"I promise you, none of it's been taken care of or gotten over. Anything you've fought about in the past that you tried to fix with sex has all been pent up and built up over the years and has been coming out within the last year, especially, in some form of abuse or neglect to the other person." She informs us. "And that's why you're so angry." She tells me. "Because that is a potent form of intimacy that you have on a pedestal and it's important to you. And while you've been using it over the years as a means to make things right with him, and to try to be intimate with him and reconnect with him while he's been closed off on drugs and not himself, he's been going out and giving it away to whoever." 

I nod because it's true and she nods with me. 

"I know why he went to so many other women and we'll get to that in a moment, why did you start your relationship with the now father of your child?" She asks me calmly.

"Because I was tired." I admit, my tears finally subsiding. "And I was hurt, and I just needed to be with someone who wouldn't hurt me."

"You needed someone who would protect you." 

"Yes." I agree, sniffling. 

"There's a theme that keeps reoccurring with you and it's overexposure and need of protection," She tells me and I nod, "Which is typically what fathers are in charge of in the household so tell me what your dad was like while you were growing up." She says and I lick my lips, smiling, thinking of my dad. 

"The best dad in the world. He'd help me get ready for recitals if my mom couldn't, he'd take me anywhere I needed to go, he'd help me sneak things past my mom like records or clothes she wouldn't approve of or whatever, he'd be there if I needed to talk about anything--with no judgement--he was really good to me, and he still is." I tell her and she nods, smiling. 

"What I'm about to say isn't meant to belittle all the wonderful things he's done for you or undermine the work he's put in to raising you the best he could, but with your incredibly abrasive mother," she starts, "would he ever step in when she was tearing you down or would he just try to keep the peace?" 

"He did a couple times but for the most part he'd just tell me to ignore her and wouldn't start anything with her while she was doing it." 

"So he didn't protect you when he should have?" 

I stop for a moment, and look at her, pointedly. 

"I'm not saying he didn't love you or care for you and didn't look out for you--but when it came to your mother, did he or did he not do everything he could to protect you from her mental, spiritual, and emotional abuse?" 

"No." I breathe out shakily. 

"So you went from a father who didn't protect you and allowed you to be exposed to things you should not have been exposed to, to a husband who didn't protect you and allowed you to be exposed to things you should not have been exposed to." 

I nod again. 

"Do you know why he's had sex with so many women?" 

I shake my head. 

I don't think, "because he hates me," would be an acceptable answer. 

"Do you know why you've had sex with that many women while you were with Vivian?" She asks Nikki and he thinks about it for a second. 

"...I was bored." He says and she chuckles humorlessly. 

"Just a second ago you were throwing in her face that you went where you were going to feel appreciated. So put your ego aside." She states, furrowing her brows. "'I did the drugs because I was bored, I slept with all those women because I was bored, I put my wife through a living hell because I was bored'." She mimics so he can see how he sounds when he says it. "I don't think the man sitting here, crying over his wife getting pregnant with another man, had sex with one other woman, let alone two-hundred just because he was bored." She states, matter of fact. "Put this tough guy persona away and just be honest." 

He gets really quiet, his leg shaking as his foot taps. 

"Do you know the situation with his mother?" She asks me, suddenly. 

"I know the gist of it, he hasn't told me much about it." I tell her and she looks at him. 

"You expect your wife to understand why you do the things you do but you don't give her the information to piece together why you are the way you were brought up to be." She tells him. "We're out of time, but at some point before we meet again on Saturday, I want you to talk about your relationship with your mother." She says and he nods, hesitantly.

I look at him and can't bring myself to even say goodbye to him before I'm getting up and leaving. 

I can barely make it to my car without nearly tripping, tears clouding my vision. 

I get inside and hold my chest, feeling as if my heart is breaking all over again. 

Neither of us know each other anymore. I don't recognize him, not even sober, and I know he doesn't recognize me. 

Is this even worth it after all we've done to each other?

I wrinkle my nose slightly as I put my big toe up the bathtub's water faucet, expecting a big spider or something to bite me. 

Dropping my foot back into the water, I let out a breath. 

I've been sitting in luke warm water that was hot once upon a time. 

Now my skin's pruned and I'm waiting to get the motivation to just get up. 

It's the first attempt at self-care in two days and it's only because Nikki's been wanting to fool around and I haven't felt like it. 

I'm hoping being clean helps me feel like it. 

There's two knocks at the bathroom door before he's barging in, giving me a smile that brings his dimples to life. 

"I have food in the kitchen whenever you get out." He tells me, stepping to the tub, sitting on the edge of it. 

"I'll be there in a little bit." I assure him. 

"That's what you said an hour ago, Vivian." He reminds me harmlessly and I look at him and force myself to smile a tad. 

"Oh." I reply. 

There's a pause between us and he rubs the back of his neck. 

"Vivian, are you okay?" He asks, and I look up at him, forcing myself not to cry, and nod. 

"I'm fine, baby," I lie. "Just tired is all." 

"Still? You've been in bed for, like, nearly three days." He points out. 

"I'm just tired, Nikki." I repeat in the same tone, trying to sound convincing. 

He's not buying it, and when drops of tears push past my lashes, I know I'm no longer selling it. 

"I think maybe you need to get back on your medication." He suggests very quietly, as if saying it too loud is going to cause me to have a meltdown. 

"I don't need to be on it." I argue, wiping my eyes, sniffling and trying to force myself to stop crying.

"Vivian, you're not fucking happy."

"You don't know that." 

"I know when you're happy and when you're not." He points out…"Do I need to get you something or buy something or--"

"--I don't want anything, Nikki." I state.

"Well, I do." He informs me. "I wanna see my wife happy, again, genuinely happy. Not that fake bullshit you put on for me." He clarifies. "So, just--"

"--Get out." I say, shutting him down, not wanting to hear about it. 

He rolls his jaw and nods, getting up and leaving. 

He's back with a glass of water and my bottle of Nardil, putting them both on the side of the tub and standing over me to make sure I take it like he wants me to. 

I look at him, hurt, my brows furrowing, my eyes cutting at him, anger coursing through me as more tears topple down my cheeks and tense up.

"Get out." I repeat. 

"I'm not leaving until you stop being stubborn and take the damn--"

The water is slung at him while the glass is thrown at the mirror as, "get out!" Screeches out of my throat as I open the bottle and try to ring it in the toilet, sending pills flying in all directions while the bottle with a majority of the pills plops into the water all while I'm repeatedly screeching, "get out, get out, get out!" as tears sting my cheeks. 

"Vivian, fuck--" 

I'm hauling myself out of the tub and he avoids my violent intent by finally leaving, slamming the door behind him, and I slip and catch myself on the door knob, making sure to lock it as waves of weight push me to the floor, my chest hurting, my body aching, my spirit crying out to God for mercy.

I should have told him then about my recurrent miscarriages, I just didn't know how to. I just let myself take it and deal with it on my own and he took it as me being batshit crazy and depressed. I was, truthfully, but I had reason to be. I struggled with my medication because I didn't want to have to take a pill to be happy, but I was also beginning to think it was ruining my body and skewering each pregnancy. It wasn't, but I didn't know that, so I'd take it for a while, wean myself off, and ease back into it whenever I felt like I needed to through the years. I don't think I ever went a full complete year without purposely getting myself off of it at least once.

I shut my car door as I get out, raising my brow at the site of Duff's car in my driveway, stepping to the front door. 

I haven't heard anything from him. 

Which I've been prepared not to. I can play the kid off as Nikki's if I have to.

He didn't say anything yesterday when I told him I was pregnant. I mean, literally, nothing. 

I sat for twenty minutes just waiting for him to try to discuss it but all he did was sit and stare off into space, his face ghost white while Mandy excused herself to their room and probably cried the rest of the night. 

I guess he's got something to say, now. 

I go inside, putting my kids on the little table next to the door, kicking my heels off and carrying them in my hand. 

I turn the light on when I get out of the foyer, and see Duff passed out on the couch. 

He's got a vodka bottle tucked under his arm and put my stuff down and go over to him, taking the bottle away before he spills it on the couch. 

He takes in a breath, waking up and rubbing his eyes. 

"Hey, Viv," he tells me, sitting up the best he can, trying to pry the sleep from his eyes. 

I sit on the coffee table across from him, sighing out. 

"Hey, Duff," I reply, looking at him.

"What time is it?" He asks me, next. 

"Four o'clock." I inform him. 

"Oh," he mumbles, being quiet for another moment. "You look pretty." He says next and I smile a little. 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." He chuckles. "Which I guess that's what got us into this mess in the first place." He adds. "Well, not you being pretty--just me being a dumbass." He slurs, taking a deep breath. 

"Is Mandy okay?"

"Yeaaaah, she's not too happy with me right now." He admits. "I never told her about me and you when we got back together." 

"Oh." I say. 

"Oh." He repeats. 

"You know, Duff, you don't have to do all this…" I start, rubbing my lips together. "...If you're not comfortable with trying to make this work--because it's pretty unconventional--I'm not gonna be upset with you." 

"I had a shitty dad who left my mom to deal with bullshit she shouldn't have had to deal with by herself and I'm not doing that to you. That's fucked up. I did the crime, I can do the time." He states, tiredly. 

"I'm not gonna be by myself," I remind him, "Nikki's upset but he's not disowning me or anything." I add and he scoffs. 

"Of course he isn't." He sighs. "I think Mandy's still gonna stay with me. She hasn't thrown out her ring, so…" 

"Her ring?" I ask him, furrowing my brows. 

"I asked her to marry me yesterday morning." He informs me. 

"Oh, wow, tha-that's great, Duff." 

Was it completely stupid for him to propose to Mandy not even seven weeks after we broke up? Absolutely. Was it completely stupid of him to marry her three months later? Absolutely. Was I going to piss on his parade more than I already had? Absolutely not.

[itsbenedict]

Two-Faced Jewel: Session 1-B

(Part B, for length- see Part A first.)

Zero and @eternalfarnham are Looseleaf and Saelhen du Fishercrown, a mothfolk animist and a half-elf conwoman whose travels take them to Blacksky University, where the discovery of an unknown magical artifact sets them on the path to discovering the secrets of a shattered world.

Saelhen du Fishercrown has just involuntarily bonded with a magical bracer under false pretenses. The deans of the School of Natural Arts and the School of Arcane Arts have reached a compromise- send Looseleaf (equipped with a wand of Locate Object) to keep an eye on her. None of this bodes well for her plan to skip town and pawn the thing- if she doesn't follow the magical arrow, it's going to be hard to explain.

So... she figures she might as well find out where it's pointing, and see if there's a way to remove it and/or shake her tail at the end.

Saelhen du Fishercrown:Saelhen is best served by seeming a bit silly, here. So I think she's going to follow the arrow directly and just straight-up cross over the fences. Looseleaf:Looseleaf fidgets a bit. "I mean, honor has to tarry for things like, classes, and stuff, occasionally, right?" "Not to mention, you still, like, need to do a whole interview." "And you can't just- like, at the least I'd want to get the campus news department involved, y'know, put this in the news and stuff, right?" Saelhen du Fishercrown:"I will be proud to answer any questions you have as we go, Madam Looseleaf." Saelhen approaches the campus fence and begins to struggle over it. Looseleaf:Looseleaf is only vaguely sure that this campus has anything like a newsletter, but something about this lady's insistency on walking off into the sunset as quickly as she can is making Looseleaf's antennae twitch, a little bit. "Uhhhhhh," Looseleaf says. "Okay, sure, then."

They take a pretty direct route to where the arrow's pointing. On the way, Looseleaf puts the screws to Saelhen by poking at her cover story.

Saelhen continues to roll crazy good on Deception, vs Looseleaf's History, and Looseleaf can't find any fault in Saelhen's staggeringly-detailed hand-calligraphied forgery.

Benedict I. (GM): So- it seems like this was written by someone who's at least read A Flawless History of the Elven Peoples cover to cover. There aren't any obvious contradictions, and a lot of supporting details- it's hard to believe someone could've just made all this up. Looseleaf: But, okay, wow, Looseleaf is... absolutely engrossed in this book. This is the good stuff. Benedict I. (GM): You're familiar enough with the vagaries of the biographical tradition that there could easily be creative reinterpretations or doctored facts in here, but you don't have any way to distinguish them from reality. Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen keeps up a running commentary while they walk. Looseleaf: But presumably there is no mention of any kind of accession ritual? Saelhen du Fishercrown:Jack nothing! Looseleaf:And definitely nothing along the lines of a stone bracer being involved in some kind of ancestral spirit worship ritual.

Yeah, something's fishy here. But it's a long book, and it takes a long time to read, and before Looseleaf can get through it, the arrow starts to swerve.

The bracer seems to have lead them to Yoshimimoto Plaza, a wide pavilion in the middle of a ring of government buildings owned by the Oyashio Port Authority- the city's secular government. Saelhen recognizes the design as remarkably similar to the floor of the Ryokou Temple in Kanzentokai.

The Ryokou Temple, hundreds of years ago, was once a great hub of teleportation, where travelers from all over the world came and went. Thanks to teleportation magic, the concept of "cities" and "nations" and "regional governments" didn't make a lot of sense back then, and the world was something of a fragmentary monoculture featuring several different competing governments- distributed governments which claimed authority over their members, not over geographical territories.

(If you've read anything of the Terra Ignota series, they were basically like the hives.)

Two or three centuries ago, though, something called the Blackout occurred. Teleportation magic suddenly failed- planar travel broke, as did the teleportation hubs in each of the world's major cities. Suddenly, the world was shattered into geographically distant territories, which suddenly had to administer themselves without contact with the rest of the world. The world as it is today was shaped by the effects of this Blackout, and how people rebuilt.

Yoshimimoto Plaza, now an unremarkable empty square, used to be the city's teleportation hub.

Saelhen, following the arrow, touches the bracer to the center of this plaza, and all hell breaks loose.

The bricks underneath them all suddenly fall into a pit, landing about twenty feet down on a squishy surface that yields under the impact. Despite the cushioning, Saelhen takes 5 bludgeoning damage from the fall. (Looseleaf can feather-fall with her moth wings, so she's fine.)

So, what you've landed on... first and foremost, it smells. It smells of mildew and decay, of something sealed up and left to rot. The walls of the pit aren't dirt or stone- you're not sure what they are. They're gray-green and porous, interwoven with what might be vines. The floor has a ton of bricks on top of it, but where those bricks fell unevenly, you can see the floor is a mass of these squishy vines- or maybe tentacles, it's not entirely clear.

What's not fine is the old man who was feeding the pigeons on the plaza, who's broken his legs and is screaming for help. Also not fine are a couple of Oyashio Port Authority guards, who were chatting there and are now very perturbed.

Also not fine are the walls of this pit- they've got holes in them. Holes from which horrible little fleshy winged creatures are crawling:

These bloodsucking fiends claw their way out of the weird porous walls, and begin divebombing people with unholy shrieks.

The party rolls for initiative! Saelhen readies an action to intercept the enemy, and it's a good thing- she downs one of the stirges with a hidden blade when it gets close. (Looseleaf notes how suspicious it is that a noblewoman had a hidden blade up her sleeve.)

Looseleaf uses Rend Spirit on another one- a magical attack that uses animism as a blunt force weapon. The spirit of something is different from its soul- a living thing has a mind, but it also has a spirit, which is just sort of a semi-sentient magical handle on its body and the nature thereof. The spirit of something's muscles says "I want to expand and contract in response to nerve stimuli"- and Looseleaf can tell the muscles "No, you want to snfdkdfrksfjklafdr." The muscles' spirit gets real confused by this and tries to make its physical host do some snfdkdfrksfjklafdr, which makes no sense and results in chaotic flailing and tissue damage. Or, uh, "force damage", D&D's vaguest damage type.

She seizures the other stirge to death, but three more crawl their way out of the walls. Two go for the guards, who call for help and manage to take one down- but the third goes for the defenseless old man. Saelhen whiffs her thrown knife to intercept it, and the stirge buries its proboscis in the man's side and begins to drink.

Looseleaf: Holy shit, this woman is going to get people killed. Her nonsense- and probably confabulated- ancestral quest is going to get people killed.

Saelhen follows up by charging the stirge and slaying it- but four more stirges crawl out of the walls. There's no end to the damn things!

Looseleaf, who has wings, remembers them- and also remembers her starting gear! When do players ever do that? She gets out her 50 ft of rope and drops a rope ladder to help people escape.

The stirges are on the move, though- those not distracted by the guards go for Saelhen and Looseleaf. One of them gets through and impales Saelhen- who only had 6 hit points left after the fall damage, at level 1. It rolls well, and she goes down.

One of the guards grabs the old man and begins climbing out of the pit, just as reinforcements arrive with crossbows- but it's too late for Looseleaf, who gets herself divebombed by a stirge, which beats her AC and latches on. She tries to Rend Spirit it off her, but fails- and its next attack finishes her off. Meanwhile, Saelhen is still down in the pit being fed on, and rolls a critical failure on her first death save, counting as two failures! The party is completely KO'd by these horrible bloodsucking monsters they uncovered.

*

Luckily for them, they went down... in the middle of the administrative center of a highly populated city, surrounded by emergency services personnel who were actively trying to save them. As a result... they wake up in the hospital, not dead.

Looseleaf: "When the inquiries come in, I just want to make it clear, miss du Surplus," Looseleaf says in her hospital bed, "I do not know you and I do not know who you are and I am pretty sure that this is all your fault." Her antennae are swishing furiously, which is moth for 'fuck everything about this'. Saelhen du Fishercrown: "In my defense," says Saelhen, "I have no frigging idea why that bracelet summoned infinite bats, haha." "Ow."

It seems- from the chafing on her wrist- that someone tried to steal the bracer off her arm while she was unconscious, to no avail.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "If your university wants it back, you're maybe going to have to use a cleaver. Ha ha. You know, I've actually been to places where they chop off your hand for stealing." Looseleaf: "You better hope they don't decide to chop off your arm," apparently Looseleaf's got more of a vindictive bent to her than you'd expect! "You folk only have two arms." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Gonna be a super dishonorable wound." Looseleaf: "Yeah, we're dispensing with the whole, elegant elf politese thing entirely now, are we." "Not that it exactly made sense for a dignified hyper-polite elf to run around with a dozen daggers tied to them under the robes." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "For what it's worth, if you weren't dogging me so closely, I would have probably screwed off, tried to sell it, found out I couldn't and... I guess left town with the next circus. Amazing halfbreed with bad taste in jewelry." "But it's obviously not your fault, right? No idea your actions would lead to that." "Yeah, the mysterious maiden of the orient thing gets old after a while but so many people buy into it." "I am disowned, though, if it helps."

Saelhen pretty much spills all the beans to Looseleaf- and tries to lay out a plan for how they can both avoid taking the blame for this. Looseleaf is shocked that Saelhen has the audacity to try to keep up the con, after what happened- and horrified at the implication that she was somehow responsible for this.

Looseleaf:"You're thinking of trying to keep up the scam," Looseleaf says in disbelief. "By Harmony, you actually want to double down." Benedict I. (GM):"...suspects, wanted for...!" "...my students..." "...jured patients!" There's an argument happening outside your door. Looseleaf:"Oh, there it is," Looseleaf sighs. She folds her arms and looks up at the ceiling of the hospital room and resigns herself to be utterly annihilated by terrible inexorable fate.

The door opens, and in walks... uh. A nurse? It's a round tiefling woman dressed in... not so much a nurse's outfit as a sexy halloween costume of a nurse's outfit. It's... a lot. She seems to be playing the part of an actual medical professional, though, and after a quick checkup, asks which of their two guests they'd like to speak to first.

Who are these guests? Well, the first one is Provost Hamori, from the school. The drow lady. Something in Looseleaf's moth bones shudders as she enters the room and the trailing of her dress masks a skittering noise.

Luckily for them, the provost is very happy with them! Earth-shattering magical discoveries that unleash hordes of blood-sucking monsters on the populace of the city are not at all occasions to be mourned, in her opinion. There's so much new research to be done! It's exciting!

Plus, apparently, while they were out, refugees crawled their way out of the tentacle-floor in the pit! Supposedly descendants of people who disappeared from the face of the Jewel when the Blackout occurred. They'd managed to survive in that sort of horrible Stranger Things-ass upside-down horror-world for hundreds of years! Very exciting!

Provost Hamori reassures them that everything will be fine, and asks them to tell the truth to the nice police lady who's about to have a friendly chat with them.

Said police lady takes her turn to speak to the hospitalized party.

Benedict I. (GM): "My name is Stella Lastwave. I am captain of the Port Authority city guard. I am required to disclose this information." Then she leans in. "Would the two of you like to tell me what the fuck is happening in my city?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: Good question! Benedict I. (GM): "Dozens of bloodsucking hellmonsters are menacing the citizens, a troop of ultraviolent feral children are wreaking havoc in the streets, and the Yoshimimoto Plaza is a ruined crater of necrotic energy!" "I have fourteen witnesses stating that you walked up to the middle of the plaza with a magic item, touched the ground, and unleashed hell on the innocent citizens of Oyashio!" "You're going to explain what the hell you thought you were doing, right now!" Looseleaf: “Um. It was an accident?” Looseleaf begins, and then hedges, because this intimidating cop lady is intimidating her, and all of her prepared lines of explanation have gone right out the window. Benedict I. (GM): "An accident." "Again."

Captain Lastwave is highly suspicious of Saelhen's story- as the de la Surplus family doesn't exist in any of the shipping records they have for the world's busiest port city. If they're not in the records, they either don't exist, or they're smugglers.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "We have... fallen on difficult times as of late. It is a stain on our honor that we have failed to contribute to Kanzentokai's glory, I realize." Saelhen sighs. "...it was my hope that I might restore our reputation by completing the succession, when the means were lost to us for so long." Benedict I. (GM): "Yeah? And your 'succession' means siccing demons on a city of innocent people?" Looseleaf: “They just assigned me to her as an anthropology assignment,” Looseleaf babbles. “I was supposed to follow her doing her rite thingy and write it down and turn it in as an essay for my self-directed project.” Whatever the splash radius of this negotiation is going to wind up being, Looseleaf is absolutely making sure that she ends up outside of it. Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Strange are the ways of my ancestors. It is my hope that I will be allowed to serve the free citizens of Oyashio, as I have served those citizens long-imprisoned by the Blackout." Benedict I. (GM): "This is the seventh goddamn evil magic apocalypse that witch up in Blacksky has tried to wipe out Oyashio with! Even when it's not them, it's them, or-" "-what, are you talking about the murdercrazy teenagers running wild in the streets?" Looseleaf: Looseleaf looks at Fishercrown. ”Oh.” Saelhen du Fishercrown: "So I have been told." Looseleaf: "So that’s what the Provost meant by... whoof." "So, ‘we found humans on the other side of the portal’ was definitely a euphemism, huh.”

Thanks to Saelhen once again rolling absurdly high on Deception, Captain Lastwave lets them off with a warning, and leaves. They leave the hospital- or rather, the Temple of Karou, Heartlifter, God of Joy.

as you leave the Temple of Karou, you learn that the Temple of Karou comprises the upper floors of the building, 2 and up the first floor, run by the local bishop of Karou (Vermillion Hansen, the tiefling "nurse" you met) is the Pink Lips Pleasure House- an official government institution funded by the Ecumene of Joy. it is a brothel. the Ecumene of Joy is a little weird.

So with that crisis officially Not Their Fault, Looseleaf and Saelhen return to Blacksky, where the Provost- in exchange for keeping it Not Their Fault- will be having them conduct further research on this bracer- which has sprouted a new arrow, pointing off somewhere to the northeast.

Next session, we'll see what that research entails!

[justanotherfanfic]

Mind Over Matter

summary: reader is hydra’s well respected leader, when an attack in their base causes reader to be taken into custody, bruce sees something different and wants to help

warnings: none

pairings: bruce banner x hydra/platonic!reader, avengers x hydra/platonic!reader

word count: 3.3k+

a/n: v/n = villain name! also, i had this idea for a long time now and i suddenly decided to bring it up again! so it may be bad at the beginning??

FOOTSTEPS ECHOED DOWN the musky halls of the Hydra base. The men who caused the noise opened the door to a secured spot and entered quietly, noticing the leader staring at them with a hard glare. The two men cowardly shifted to the back of the room as the person began to speak again.

"So the Avengers Facility has at least ten different entrances — not including the secret tunnels or passages." You spoke to your team as they all huddled around the blueprints you had taken from the hacks Romanoff released to the world. You are a high leveled Hydra agent and decided to have a meeting about an attack you and your team are planning to make.

"Our job is to take at least one Avenger-" You began to instruct your team until an explosion went off in the distance. You sighed and motioned a few agents to see what happened. They both nodded their heads and ran out with their weapons. You motioned for everyone to get their weapons ready. You swayed to the back of the room and had your gun ready.

Your men heard screams from the distance and gun shots, "Whatever walks through that door, shoot it." You instructed.

You then walked out the door behind you, ordering four men to follow. You and the four men ran down the halls into a computer room.

"What's going on?" One of the men questions in fear.

"Shield probably found our base," You simply spoke. It's not surprising how they manage to find every single Hydra base and destroy it but every time your organization tries to take theirs down, it never works. It bugged you knowing how hard you tried to rebuild the one thing that mattered to you the most but nothing really works.

You began typing quickly onto the computer and inputed information into a flash drive. Once done, you gave it to the man who seemed terrified, "Take it to the Northern section of the base and give it to Rumlow."

"But [V/N], that's where the explosion came from-"

"Trust me, he's fine. He's been through worse." You cut him off making the man nod. He began running towards the exit but the moment he stepped into the hallway, you saw a shield knock him out. You sighed heavily and whipped your gun out. The person responsible for the shield then walked in with his shield and smiled, he threw his shield at your last guard - knocking him out.

"[V/N]," He spoke.

You smirked and kept your aim at his head, "Rogers."

He gave a smile then ran over to you as you ran towards him as well. You two had fought a good fight. You managed to knock his shield off of him. You smiled down at him and aimed the gun at him, "Poor Captain America..."

He glared at you for a moment before moving his attention behind you. You turned around to see Tony Stark with his blasters aimed at you, "Poor [V/N]..."

You glared and was about to shoot at him before he shot his blasters at you. The impact immediately knocking you out.

A van door suddenly opened swiftly making you hiss at the bright light from outside. A hand yanked you out of the van as your hands were cuffed tightly. You looked around the room realizing you were in the garage unit at the Avengers facility, the same one that was in the blueprints.

You were led out of the room with most of your men by Shield agents. As you passed by a hallway you noticed The Avengers were talking in a meeting room but they stopped after seeing you and your men.

Bucky saw your Hydra outfit and widened his eyes. He marched up to you and shoved you against the wall making Steve and Natasha run towards him. You hit your head hard on the wall making you slightly wince in pain. He gripped your throat and glared at you, "Why the hell are you here?!"

You choke out with a smirk feeling his grip tighten. "It's been a while huh, soldier?"

"Bucky, get off of her!" Steve screamed while pulling him off of you. Bucky tried grabbing you but was dragged away, two agents grabbed you as you rose your eyebrow at the two with a smirk.

"Get her out of here..." Steve ordered.

Without a word, two agents tightened their grip on you and dragged you along. You never broke eye contact with the two super soldiers until you left the room.

Surprisingly, the agents didn't take you to the interrogation room, but they did take you to the infirmary. Once making it into the infirmary, the agents sat you down on the bed and hand cuffed your hand to the railing. You glared at the men making them stumble back in fear, leaving the room quickly.

You were alone for what felt like an hour, observing the room and thinking of ways to get out of the damn building. You stared at your hand cuffs and thought of ways the equipment in the room would break them free.

"There's no way out of here," A voice spoke making you lift your head. "Well- I mean, there is a door but you won't be able to escape. The Avengers are in this building and your people pissed them off."

You rolled your eyes, "Bruce Banner."

He smiled and sat down on a stool looking at your face. It was silent for a moment as you breathed out a laugh. You looked at him with a quirked eyebrow.

"Are you checking me out?" You questioned in amusement.

"As much as you'd like that, I'm actually checking the gash Stark left on your forehead during your little battle back at your base and the concussion you might've gotten from Barnes." Bruce casually spoke. "He's got one hell of an arm, huh?"

You laughed lightly, "That he does."

Bruce began to write notes down on a file, most likely your wounds and what not. You sighed and looked around, "Nice place you got here. Looks better in the blueprints."

"Thanks, it took Stark almost a year to make." Banner smiled acknowledging the fact you had blue prints about the facility, he then continued to write down a few things. It was silent and you sighed heavily, leaning against the wall behind you as you kicked your legs up.

"It's nice to get away from work," You breathed out as you closed your eyes. You enjoyed the silence as Bruce continued to work on your file in the room. You then started to think about plans for Hydra and your future leadership. How the other bases might be trying to regroup and get you. You then thought about ways to contact them about-

"Why do you do this?" Bruce suddenly asked making you raise your eyebrow as you kept your eyes closed.

"Do what?" You questioned, one eye opening and staring at the direction the voice came from.

He walked up to you with medical cloth and began wrapping your head making you pull your head back. He glared at you making you roll your eyes and give in. He wrapped your wound as you waited for his answer.

"Killing innocent people," Bruce stated while going back to the files. "Why do you do it?"

You scoff, "They aren't innocent, my dear." You sat up and looked at Bruce, he looked at you, about to say something else but you interrupted. "Hail Hydra," You whisper with a wink as he shifted uncomfortably. You breathed out a laugh.

"Oh c'mon big guy I know what you can really do," You remarked. You didn't notice Tony over hearing the conversation from the double sided mirror. "Do you really think it's a good idea having you here alone with me?"

Bruce laughs lightly while looking over your files. You were about to cross your arms until you forgot you had your hands strapped on the bed.

"I think I can manage," He spoke before walking out, leaving you alone.

"She's right you know," Tony spoke quietly after the door closed as he looked at the window of you sitting on the bed.

"What, about the other guy?" Bruce asked with his eyebrows raised. "I think I can handle smart remarks, you're here aren't you?"

Tony rolled his eyes, "She's different. She's Hydra."

"I can handle this Tony," Bruce sighed and walked away leaving a concerned Tony.

Back in the room, you looked around the environment to find different equipment. It took you a while but you managed to snatch a pen from a drawer and uncuff yourself. You massaged your wrist and got up. You looked to the East side of the room to see an air vent. You smiled to yourself and climbed on one of the cabinets to escape. You cracked open the vent and reached in to escape until a voice made you stop.

"[Y/N] [L/N]," You turned around quickly facing Bruce with a glare. "Nice name."

"Don't ever call me that!" You hissed only for him to respond with a smile. "I will kill you if you say that ever again."

Bruce smirked, "I'd love to see you try, [Y/N]."

You jumped down from the cabinet and ran up to him, he widened his eyes slightly as you gripped his collar and pulled him towards you, "You know what tough guy?! I got a few things up my sleeve for your other friend."

You didn't notice Bucky walking by your room. He quickly analyzed the situation through the window and decided to interrupt. You pulled out the pen you managed to grab and had it sticking harshly to his throat, "I was going to end you quickly but you pissed me off."

You continued shoving it harder into his throat as you noticed his veins were changing into a green shade. You smiled until a hand stopped you. You turned your head to the side to see an angry Bucky.

"You again," You glared. You shoved Bruce to the ground and went after Bucky until you saw his fist flying in the air, the last thing you remembered was Bucky's silver arm then darkness.

You winced in pain when you woke up. The mind splitting headache was at fault for it. You opened your eyes and adjusted to the area around you. You sighed feeling your hands being cuffed to the bed again and an ice pack on your cheekbone. You laid back down and stared up hearing someone walk in. You are given painkillers and water to wash it down. As much as you hated to admit it, you were grateful for the gesture.

"So what really happened to you?" Bruce asked as you laid back down and stared at the ceiling. "Your parents were high tier SHIELD agents but here you are, considered a leader for Hydra."

"People change," You muttered.

"No," Bruce snapped. "Something happened. What happened?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," You sighed.

You heard him scoff, "I'm trying to help you here and you're not letting me."

You remained silent. You started thinking about all the pain and suffering you experienced. It was all their fault. SHIELD couldn't protect them, they failed your parents. It was Hydra who helped you open your eyes. They helped you realize how evil SHIELD really is.

"[Y/N] I know there's more to you than what everyone at this base thinks. You've been hurt. You're only a broken girl with a broken past. Please let me help you," Bruce pleaded.

You stared at the ceiling while furrowing your eyebrows, "When you have someone like Alexander Pierce in your life, it can change you." Memories then began flooding your mind.

"Again..." The masculine voice called as you struggled to breathe. You were just throw across the room and could barely stand up.

"We've been doing this for hours, can I please go rest?" You begged as sweat beaded down your face. You shakily stood up, your knees feeling weak.

"You can rest when you're dead! Now get up and fight him again!" The figure screamed from the shadows. You sighed as you then saw him walk out into the light, revealing Alexander Pierce.

You whimpered seeing the man walk up to you with a sickening smile. You shook your head and backed away, "Noooo!"

You were then punished for your behavior. Your screams echoed around the area as you were forced to fight people who were too violent to you. If you argued, you'd be punished again.

You were silent after you remembered the horrible memories. Hydra always told you they did it with love. They wanted to see you grow into the leader they knew you were. You stared at the ceiling with a painful expression as you remained laying on the bed. "Ever since Pierce died," You began. "Everyone looked at me as a leader. I was not ready at all, I was only 17 at the time."

"Pierce died 2 years ago." Bruce spoke. He noticed your guards falling and took this as an opportunity to change you. "[Y/N] don't allow your anger to blind you from the truth. Yes, what happened to your parents is heartbreaking. Them dying at your age is painful, but you cannot blame yourself or SHIELD. It was Hydra who killed them, not you or SHIELD."

You stayed silent as you contemplated what he just said. You don't know why you let your guard down. Alexander would've had an aneurism seeing you allow your walls to be broken down. Allowing them into your mind. You shook Alexander off of your mind as you went back to what Bruce just said.

"[Y/N]," Bruce whispered. You hummed as you turned to face him. His heart sank seeing the young girl vulnerable. "Your value does not decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth. You are more than a assassin. You are more than Hydra." Bruce spoke confidently, if Natasha was able to break free from her dark past, he knew you'd be able to as well.

You felt your heart flutter at his statement. No one truly cared for you. You haven't been able to discuss your feelings until Banner came along. You felt a small smile creep into your mouth.

No other words were spoken. Bruce smiled to himself after you shifted your body to face the wall. Bruce then got up and allowed you to rest alone. He trusted you wouldn't try to leave again.

You were laying down and staring at the ceiling for a while longer when you heard the door burst open. You quickly sat up and looked at the four guards that walked in along with a determined Steve and Tony.

"What's going on?" Bruce questioned as he quickly ran into the room. He stood between you and them. You shifted in the bed as you awkwardly realized how terrible you were to them.

"It's been a few days, Bruce." Steve stated as he gave you a disappointed stare. You frowned as you looked down at your outfit. You suddenly felt disgusted in the Hydra suit. You couldn't believe you allowed Hydra to brainwash you into their terrorist organization.

"Since you treated [V/N] we're able to question her and her men," Tony finished off. He started reaching over to you making you pull back.

"Woah woahwoah!" Bruce called out. "Look, she wants to change. Hydra brainwashed her. They tortured her. She's only scared."

Tony and Steve looked over at you seeing you give them a small smile. Your confident self was now vulnerable. They realized Bruce was serious, but didn't trust you.

They shook their heads, "We can't trust her."

Bruce sighed, "What about Nat?"

Tony and Steve sighed. They looked at each other then waved off the SHIELD agents. Tony and Steve shifted in their spots. They thought about Nat's past and how she was able to redeem herself and become part of their family.

"I don't want to be a part of this anymore," You whispered. Bruce, Tony, and Steve looked over at you. "All the sarcasm, fighting, anger... It was Hydra who did this to me. I wasn't strong enough to fight off the brainwashing." You closed your eyes and sighed. You then opened your eyes and looked at the trio, "When my parents died I was broken and angry. I needed someone to blame. Someone to let all my anger out on. SHIELD wasn't to blame but I let myself blame them."

You felt your tears forming as you wiped it with your hand that wasn't cuffed to the bed frame, "If you guys are fine with it, I'd like to change. With your help..."

Bruce looked over at you with a bright smile. Tony and Steve sighed as Steve sat next to you on the bed, "I trust her."

Tony widened his eyes, "What?!"

"When I see her, I think of Bucky." Steve defended. "She's scared. We need to be there for her just like we were for Nat and Bucky."

Tony felt his his mind battling different scenarios in his head. Most of them screaming that this was a mistake, but it all crashed down when you looked up at him with sorrow in your eyes. His eyes softened when he saw himself in you. You truly wanted to change. The bruises and cuts covering your body only made it harder. Tony then sighed and nodded his head.

You gave them all a thankful smile as they began to bring you over to the rest of the team. You felt tiny next to the three men. It made you suddenly feel insecure even though you literally fought all three with confidence a few days ago.

When you all got closer, Bucky was the first to notice your presence. His eyes suddenly widened as he was quick to his feet. He was about to get near you when Steve and Tony stood in front of you, "Don't worry tough guy. She's with us." Tony tried to calm Bucky down.

Bucky scoffed, "Like hell! She was there when they brainwashed me. She's with them."

"She was brainwashed too Buck," Steve soothed. "Maybe not to your extent but she was tortured."

Bucky stared in disbelief. He then stormed off in anger making Steve follow him in hopes to help him understand the situation.

Natasha was next to see you with a scowl in her face. You shifted uncomfortably as she analyzed you. A moment past before she nodded her head at Tony and Bruce. You sighed in relief when you acknowledged her approval.

The rest of the team was sat on the couch watching a movie when Bruce took you over with them. You felt extremely awkward since you were literally trying to kill them only a few days ago. You were surprised when they all smiled at you, you genuinely believed they were going to give you the cold shoulder, but they didn't.

You sat on the side of the couch alone as the team continued to watch the movie. Bruce sat next to you with a smile on his face, "Welcome to the family [Y/N]."

You smiled widened at him when you felt his hand hold yours. You were grateful for Bruce and his patience with you. If he wasn't so compassionate and determined, you wouldn't be here. You never would have thought that joining the team would be a thing in your life. Yes, there was still some trust issues but you didn't mind. One step at a time and soon you'll truly be a family. You knew that this will definitely change your life for the better.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Alright Janis: Not bad, boy Janis: you? Jimmy: Happy to be at work. Says it Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 full orchestra Janis: 😨 Christ Janis: assuming you're not just buzzin' to see your fave GILFs, what's the drama? Jimmy: 3 guesses, mate Jimmy: 1 clue, he's a top dickhead Janis: he's a child and you're rude Janis: jk bobs Janis: my number one fan, how's tricks Jimmy: he's #buzzing that we're back to being #goals like Jimmy: expects me to get the cake and bunting in every time he gets a new lass through the door though Janis: obvs its a competition and you ain't trying hard enough Janis: can't win though, cass said you were bringing him down before so what's he want like Jimmy: I've already won, me. Sorry dad but there's the reality Jimmy: Such a twat Jimmy: If you wanted me to date the other twin it's too late to register your vote Janis: Forreal Janis: the LDR might not last but can't be banking on it now Jimmy: Every time he pops his head round me door I keep thinking he's gonna wheel out my ex Jimmy: Having driven back up north to remind me of what I loved and lost Janis: Ha Janis: I mean, not the girl you need to be looking for, wanna get real about it Jimmy: Can't be getting real, can he? Jimmy: Unless its about me then he's gonna fill his boots Janis: What would he know about it Janis: 'less you're doing his job, when's he ever been arsed Jimmy: always time for a bit of father son criticism naturally Jimmy: makes the paid slog go with more of a swing Janis: what a prick Janis: wanna fake breakup? Jimmy: No Jimmy: Why should he get what he wants Janis: Shouldn't but idc about him Janis: if it gets him off your back then don't mind Jimmy: experience knows its not that easy Jimmy: gonna be something most days Jimmy: I packed a bag so many times when you were away only to figure I had nowhere I could actually go Jimmy: Or especially take Cass and Bobs along to Jimmy: nowt to do but unpack it again Janis: It's shit, babe Janis: you'll have somewhere one day but for now Janis: you wanna go somewhere after work Jimmy: I do Jimmy: only thing getting through this shift was reckoning you'd say that Jimmy: and needing money to get far Janis: 'course Janis: don't count as running if you come too right Jimmy: No problems with us both legging it Jimmy: as long as I can keep up 🚭 Janis: good, be shit if i fucked up my streak already, like Janis: can't be that loser Janis: can but try, mate Jimmy: 💪😎🏆 Jimmy: Challenge accepted as many times as it gets laid down Jimmy: 👌 Janis: stoptober the real challenge 😏😂 Jimmy: Funny Janis: I know Janis: s'been said Jimmy: But not the best track record at getting Twix to not do things Jimmy: So I'd need a better trainer if you were serious Janis: 😮 Janis: How dare you Janis: maybe I don't want her to stop Janis: clearly, I am that cunt, fucking with you and yours for the craic Jimmy: Life and times according to Pops Jimmy: As you said, what does he know Jimmy: you're just a piss poor trainer. Unlucky like Janis: 🖕 Janis: got you whipped like Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: Likely story Janis: okay come thru with that denial Jimmy: It's genetic, mate Jimmy: Clearly foolproof Jimmy: 😒 Janis: Same Janis: awks when they're just bonding us further Jimmy: not mad about it Janis: he will be Janis: don't think any of mine are proper haters Janis: pablo, maybe but our bad Jimmy: and he's got no taste as shown for a full fortnight when those spanish lasses were here Jimmy: so if he don't like me I'm alright with it Janis: honestly 🙄 he's so...let's not even go there Janis: sure about that? Janis: idk if your ego can hack it, personally Jimmy: don't tar me with your brush, like Janis: just saying Janis: know it 💔 when you aren't fave Janis: i'm more than used to it, thanks mr. t Janis: needed cutting down, like 😜 Jimmy: I am where it matters Jimmy: Mr Lucas come through Janis: 😂 Janis: surprised he didn't find a reason to chaperone Janis: like bitch you ain't languages Jimmy: I bet he tried his hardest Jimmy: Would've def found a way to swing it if they'd sent you to a Spanish location with a load of beaches and pools Janis: regret hitting so hard i gotta seduce him to add to the shitheap Janis: 😬 Jimmy: Was there an equivalent when you were over there or is he in a league of his own 💘 Jimmy: Might dedicate my next artsy endeavor to him get those top marks Janis: truly one of a kind Janis: suck up Janis: not bitter i'm being replaced or nowt Jimmy: only in his dreams am I Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🤢 shut uppppppp Jimmy: fancy helping me with the project yourself then? Jimmy: Less time on my knees and more in front of a lens Janis: what you doing Jimmy: Still in the planning stages cause my POV shifted from 💔 back to 💕 Jimmy: But we aren't busy and I've got plenty of napkins here to figure it out with Janis: Your teach is welcome, saving her from your angst 😉 Janis: cool though, help how i can Jimmy: And me from getting the piss taken by the rest of the class Jimmy: #blessed Jimmy: On the subject of angst though, how's Gracie? Janis: You know they'd lap that shit up Janis: basic bitches i 👀 you Janis: She's alright, he's as highkey so they're making it work Jimmy: Cute Jimmy: Better not be coming for our brand and fans 👀 her Janis: No danger Janis: even if I've pulled a Sinead and you're past your prime Janis: still got it, kids Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: still a decent muse, you Janis: Oh you Janis: not doing nude for free Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I won't bin the job off yet then Janis: Probably don't Janis: shit fit your dad would have if nothing else Jimmy: nothing he does, says or thinks has any impact on me, don't worry Janis: 👍 like Janis: but if you put that on a phonecase the flat whites would buy it, just FYI Jimmy: Anything for a good earner Jimmy: Need petrol never mind them pricey nudes of yours Janis joined the chat 101 minutes ago Janis: listen, i can go twos on the petrol but i can't budge with the nudes, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: stick to your guns, mate Janis: get disowned by rio if i did it fo free Jimmy: We can't have that. You're the one with the decent fam Janis: Let's not get carried away Janis: they don't actively hate you, s'a start but they aren't the fucking... Janis: I'd say waltons but like Janis: was that not the goal Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Your nan started something and your ma was like, challenge accepted Jimmy: Can't fault her for it Janis: Competetive Janis: least I got enough sibs I don't need to come for the title next, like Jimmy: Gotta go the other way and get a different one, like Janis: that's the plan Janis: like I have one but you know Jimmy: We both want to get out of here. Done Janis: True Janis: Hold you to it Jimmy: Alright Janis: even if you're like married with kids Janis: homewrecking that shit 😂 deals a deal mate Jimmy: Who'd wanna marry this dickhead? Jimmy: The in-laws are so offputting an all Jimmy: You've got nowt to worry about Janis: Glad Janis: though I think you're alright, for the record Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: You aren't too bad yourself Janis: soppy prick Jimmy: cute dickhead Janis: don't take up poetry Janis: words aren't your strongsuit, also you'd be more unbearable so Jimmy: told you before, strong silent type, me Janis: yeah, i know Janis: woulda ignored me for life Jimmy: You think? Janis: Yeah Janis: 😶 like Jimmy: not THAT strong, mate Janis: 💪 never tell your fans, like Jimmy: They probably know Janis: reckon? Jimmy: Is there anything they reckon they don't Janis: bunch of twats Janis: why's there no one decent 'round here Jimmy: Offensive Janis: You don't count Janis: ain't from 'round here, are you boy Jimmy: But I'm still stuck here for a bit Janis: I know Janis: sure there's nothing worse than the couple who only ever hang together Janis: #sooocringe #judgingyou Jimmy: Can't raise this 🐶 alone Jimmy: Sorry Janis: yeah, she ain't my only friend Janis: she's my fur baby Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: #socringe #actuallyjudgingyounowthough Janis: shut up you started it 😂 Jimmy: you gonna finish it then? Janis: too soon 😉 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: such a dick Janis: hardly surprising we're stuck with each other Jimmy: hardly gutting either like Janis: 🤷 had worse Jimmy: Me too Jimmy: Sorry to slander your fave, dad but Janis: Distance ain't made the heart grow fonder? Janis: awks, don't tell Gracie Jimmy: Only if I feel like being a dick Jimmy: So might do Janis: please do Janis: having to be uncharacteristically nice atm Jimmy: Done then Jimmy: If you wanna be uncharacteristically nice to me I'm due a break soon Janis: Hmm Janis: tough ask Janis: see if I've got it in me, like Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: Keep me informed of your process, like Janis: fucking perv Jimmy: 😇 Jimmy: keep that to yourself, got fans to think of Janis: that i can do Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Good Janis: yeah Janis: not like i got ulterior motives of my own Jimmy: Obviously not Janis: 😇 Janis: never believe you anyway Jimmy: I can be convincing when I want though Janis: prove it Jimmy: get yourself over here and I will Janis: okay Janis: really make the most of those 15 minutes Jimmy: Done deal Janis: did i tell you i missed you Jimmy: yeah but I don't mind hearing it a second time Jimmy: or third Jimmy: or as many times as you want to tell me Janis: ambitious Janis: see how many we can fit in Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 🥇 Jimmy: if I told you I want you I'll say it again Janis: still feels unreal so Janis: take it Jimmy: You're gonna feel how real it is, don't worry Janis: fucking hell Janis: rude of the real world to exist and take you from me Jimmy: I won't go back Jimmy: Like I care Janis: You gotta Janis: this is how addictions start 😏 Janis: think of the plan Jimmy: Damn Jimmy: Alright Janis: I know, buzzkill Jimmy: What are you doing tonight? Janis: Fuck all unless you gonna change that Jimmy: We'll make the most of your drive idea Jimmy: Find somewhere we can be alone for longer than 15 minutes Janis: Good 'cos I need you Jimmy: I need you too Janis: How stupid, 16 years without it and I was chillin' Janis: now, any time I'm not with you I'm frustrated as fuck 😣 Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: that's the only victory I proper want Janis: you got it Janis: and me Jimmy: I love you Janis: I love you