#two genuinely sweet girls at their cores...

[dragon-ball-meta]

Coming back to this to kind of talk about Dragon Ball ships in general, or at least the core canon ones. I think a huge part of what makes them appealing is just how kind of uniquely they're presented. Sure there are some tropes involved. You got the princess and the bumpkin, you got the rich heiress and the barbarian prince, you got the nerdy guy and athletic girl, you got a shy, kind, & sunny person and a very blunt, withdrawn person. You got the Enemies to Friends to Lovers route with K18, the high school romance with HanVi, the childhood sweethearts/promised marriage in GoChi, and you got the improbable romance with VegeBul. But the key lies in the presentation. For one, the way things are packaged is great. Goku is far from the traditional hero, and his princess is... well, far from the typical princess. She herself is the daughter of a king known for being terrifying, she has a temper, she's fiery and hands-on and puts her foot down. Very UNLIKE her typical character type. She and Goku also undermine the "fairytale ending" aspect. They bicker. They have conflict. They live in a small house in the middle of nowhere off what's left of her dad's money, eating very rustic foods that she makes herself from what Goku catches in the woods. But we also still see that they care about each other. There's a mutual love and respect that's present there. They may argue, but they also compromise. K18 is similar; two people who you would normally not expect to be together, yet bond over mutual respect and trauma, who come to care for each other deeply and fall in love. Krillin gets the family he always wanted, and 18 gets the normal life she'd feared Gero stole from her. And you can tell they genuinely love each other and enjoy one another's company. They endured abuse and trauma in their lives, yet came out so healthy and warm and are such great parents with a daughter who is the epitome of pure sunshine... it's just lovely. Bulma is an heiress, rich beyond belief, and a bit spoiled, sure... but she's also not afraid to get her hands dirty. She's hyper-intelligent, and always eager to learn new things, and tinker with any new technology she comes across. Vegeta is the prince of a dying race, an unrepentant killer, someone who cares for little more than his own ego, and... well... they actually DON'T have a relationship at first. They have a very brief fling that lasts only until Bulma decides he's too much of a jerk for her to stand and legit throws him out of her home. She winds up pregnant and has to raise their baby by herself for at least the first year of his life. Vegeta doesn't even care if they live or die at one point. It's not until the source of his obsession is gone and he has to bury some of that pride that he finally begins to approach this family he accidentally found himself with and learn to care about them. HanVi... honestly, it really is the most typical romantic trope, combines both the secret superhero romance and the high school romance, but it's approached from a primarily comedic angle. Videl being pretty much the only one to try to make moves while Gohan is just an oblivious dork who doesn't even realize any of the girls there are into him, let alone Videl, makes it still feel unique. And Videl being an accomplished martial artist and crimefighter herself while her dad (who also happens to be the guy who profited off her crush's victory) sits at home living the high life, are some nice twists on the trope too. And just seeing them together. Watching them age together, form families together, make things work. Getting the frustrations and laughs, but also the moments of genuine love and care... it's just so good. It's like the best of both worlds; just vague enough to leave a lot of room for speculation and headcanons and theorizing, but also just enough details to be adorable and sweet and bring the feels. Just a random addition I felt compelled to add, carry on. lol

What your opinion on krillen and android 18

I love everything about it and it is pure and it is wonderful and it has so many layers of depth to it that no one wants to look into which is frankly a crime…-ahem-When you get right down to it, the progression (stated progression at least) of their relationship is easily one of the healthiest in comparison to an irl relationship and would, therefore, be one of the stronger bonds in the show. On her part, it’s simultaneously easier to see, yet harder perhaps to understand, what it means for her to choose him. He’s not what most would consider a conventionally attractive man, he’s not as comparably strong, he’s not very exotic or wealthy, etc. and the last bit there is actually pretty sacrificial on her part. While 18 isn’t necessarily what I’d call materialistic, she does have a love for the finer things in life, likely both due to her delinquent lifestyle and being used to taking what she wanted, and also likely due to simply never having had them. Whether it’s residual memories of childhood, or simply the lack of memories of these things, I can’t say. But she gave that up, or at least put it on the back burner, when she married him. As for why she married him… it was because he wasn’t like anyone she’d ever met before. He wasn’t two-faced, he didn’t really serve any ulterior motives, he didn’t try to act tough to impress her, didn’t change himself to be more like what he’d assume she’d like him to be. He was just himself, he was honest and straightforward with her, he was a nice guy and not wild or “bad” at all. And that attracted her to him, she wanted more of that. He represented a normal, happy, decent future for her with someone who only wanted to see her happy, and she wanted that, and him, more than anything.As for his POV, it’s easy to see why he’d like her, but also harder to see what he had to overlook. On the one hand, let’s get real: she’s one of the few women who ever showed any kind of interest in or paid attention to him. She was the first one to ever even so much as kiss him on the dang cheek, so far as we ever saw in canon at least. And that did endear her to him. Is that sad and kinda pathetic? Yes, it honestly is to an extent, and he himself recognized that. But at the same time, as he learned more about her and even her brother, his outlook changed. These were two kids who, in the prime of their lives, had them stolen away, turned into weapons by some madman obsessed with revenge, who’d then decided they were outmoded, defective, and had tried to simply put them into storage like some kind of toy. He also noted, as Kami had, that the two really hadn’t done anything wrong. They’d killed Gero and had intended to be on their way until Vegeta had pressed a fight with the two, and the sole reason they were looking for Goku was so 16 could fulfill his prime directive and they could go live their lives however they wanted. He saw they wanted a semblance of normalcy, a chance to live. It’s part of why he smashed that remote rather than deactivate her, take away her personhood and reduce her to a thing again. It’s why he used a wish to try to restore her and her brother back to being completely human, but at least removed the explosives planted within them. He did this without thinking he’d get any benefit from it; hell, he was sure that her brother was her boyfriend at the time, that as attractive as she was she had to have someone, that he had no chance in hell of having any relationship with her at all, but… he still genuinely cared, wanted her to be able to have her life back, or at least some semblance of it.On the flipside, this is also why 18 snapped at him and accused him of saving her and expecting her to just fall at his feet in gratitude, why she tried to accuse him of making that wish to “win her heart”. It was how everyone had treated her. People were only nice to her when they expecting to get something in return, or helped her seeking some form of gratuity. But this man, this weird, funny little man who’d tried to reason with her instead of assuming she was a monster… he hadn’t. He treated her like a person and gave her a chance to live expecting absolutely nothing from her in return.That’s what sparked off their relationship, that’s what bloomed into love, a marriage, a family. And that is why I do feel they are objectively among the most underrated fictional couples of all time in ANY series.

[luvvyouforever]

ᡣ𐭩 emily prentiss just wants to breed you so bad that she forks over a large sum of money to get one of those cumming strap-ons.

ᡣ𐭩 she does so much research into them, looking up reviews when you're laying together in bed, and when you ask what she's looking at, she just smiles and says it's a gift for you. she finds a cute pink one because she's never been the person to buy those hyper realistic ones. she makes sure that the "cum" is safe and won't hurt you in any way. she's giddy when she goes and gets her card from her wallet.

ᡣ𐭩 when it arrives, she immediately has to leave for a case. she makes you promise not to open the box and despite your ever growing curiosity, especially spurred on by the label on the box from a sex store, you listen.

ᡣ𐭩 she comes back late at night and even though she's trying to urge you to go back to bed, you immediately beg her to open up the box because you're dying to know what's in it.

ᡣ𐭩 she takes the box and leads you over to your couch. "hear me out, baby," she says, a nervous smile on her face. she pulls everything out one by one, starting with the new, sparkly, pink dildo and the harness attached. you're not shocked yet until you see the liquid and the control for the dildo.

ᡣ𐭩 your mouth is dry, but it's no indication of your arousal and excitement. if anything, the moment you put two and two together, you feel desire bubbling in your lower stomach and core. "em..." you manage to whisper. she smiles and whispers in her low, silky voice, "yeah, baby?"

ᡣ𐭩 the next few minutes are a rush to get into the bedroom. emily's body is sore from the jet and admittedly, you're half asleep, but she's been dreaming about coming back and pumping you full of her cum like she's always wanted to.

ᡣ𐭩 she doesn't want to jump straight into things, though. she wants you to feel good first. besides, pregnancies take better when the partner has an orgasm, right?

ᡣ𐭩 her hands are all over your body, groping and gripping and kissing and squeezing endlessly. it's like she can't get enough of your body. she's exploring every inch of your body and her mouth has already drawn one leg-shaking orgasm out of you.

ᡣ𐭩 finally, when she thinks you're ready, she kisses your forehead and slips away to put on her harness and get everything prepared. she's so sweet when she comes back, asking if you're ready for her. when you nod enthusiastically, she's lining herself up between your legs and starts gently pushing in.

ᡣ𐭩 the strap-on itself is normal, something you're used to, but the anticipation of knowing what's coming (pun intended) makes it feel that much more intense. she's pushing deep into you and her body is practically laid on top of yours.

ᡣ𐭩 and her words are so filthy. "wanna fill this pretty pussy so bad baby," "gonna cum so deep in you pretty girl," "wan' breed you and show everyone you're mine," "everyone's gonna know you belong to me baby."

ᡣ𐭩 you have to cum at least twice around her before she thinks about using the little button that fills you up. she's so desperate for it to be realistic, for you to feel good. it makes the whole fantasy that much more satisfying for her.

ᡣ𐭩 with the way she's talking and moaning and pumping into you, you would think she is genuinely deriving pleasure from fucking you. she's starting to get the urge to fill you up and it's clear with the way her thrusts are getting more urgent and rough. she's right next to your ear, groaning about needing to cum in you. at your first whimper and plead for it, she uses the little control and pushes the strap-on deep in your core.

ᡣ𐭩 the feeling of the cum shooting into you has you writhing underneath her body, whimpering and begging her to keep it in. she's groaning and you're positive that she came untouched underneath the harness.

ᡣ𐭩 eventually, though, she has to pull out and she moves so quickly to see her cum drip out of you and onto the bedsheets. it's sinful and makes her want to fuck you again. she's tired though and knows it's late and knows that you can go again in the morning so she settles for using her slender fingers to fuck just one more orgasm out of you.

ᡣ𐭩 when she cleans the two of you up and puts the strap-on away, she's giddy and positively dazed. her arms wrap around your figure and she's making sure you liked it. when you give her nothing but enthusiastic praise, she feels warm inside.

ᡣ𐭩 it's definitely become her new favorite strap.

[nadvs]

cam girl (part six)

pairing rafe cameron x female reader

rating explicit 18+

summary you work two jobs. by day, you’re a maid for the cameron household, where rafe degrades you any chance he can get. by night, you’re a cam girl, hiding your face so nobody can recognize you. when you discover your new subscriber, the filthy-mouthed man obsessively paying you to do everything he can think of, is rafe, you’re not sure what to do next.

» masterlist

*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*

You don’t remember falling asleep. That’s how exhausted you were from your time with Rafe.

As you slowly slip into consciousness, your body feels loose and buzzing. Your core is trembling and you slowly catch on that you were having an erotic dream about him.

Your eyes flutter open, realizing your sex dream isn’t a dream at all. Rafe’s head is moving under your white comforter between your legs, his warm tongue flattening against your clit.

Your fatigued mind puts it together. He spent the night. He held you as you slept. And now he’s eating you out.

“Oh, fuck,” you chuckle breathily, writhing. “Oh, my God.”

“Finally,” he mutters beneath the cover, taking his mouth off of you to speak. His warm breath spreads over your pussy. “I can’t feel my fucking jaw anymore.”

You’re still in your big t-shirt, but you realize he took your panties off.

“Rafe,” you whine, feeling dizzy. Is he seriously waking you up with head? Holy shit.

“You always such a deep sleeper?” he grumbles. He dips to use his tongue on you again, circles swirling over you. His arms are hooked around your legs, large hands splayed on your inner thighs.

“Hmm?” you mumble, lost in the way he’s tonguing you. His mouth closes around your clit, then he pulls back to talk again.

“Do you always sleep so fucking deeply?” he repeats, his tone stern. His morning voice is raspy and deep and so hot that it’s painful.

“Only when I get really good dick the night before,” you say. You can’t help but take the opportunity to mess with him. “So, it’s weird I didn’t wake up right away.”

Rafe stiffens, his fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs as he pulls his mouth off of you.

“I’m joking,” you laugh. You pull the cover up to see his face between your legs. God, he looks so fucking cute, his expression completely unimpressed. “Please keep going, baby.”

“Listen, if you wanna fuck with me-“

“Rafe,” you giggle. “I promise, you’re the best I’ve had. Please keep going.”

“The best?” he echoes, eager for you to stroke his ego.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a better orgasm than the one you gave me last night,” you say, totally honest.

“Huh. Maybe that should be the last one I give you if you’re gonna be such a brat.”

You know he’s just messing with you, but the thought of ending whatever this is with Rafe makes your heart pinch with sadness.

“What then?” Rafe challenges.

“Then I’ll swear off dick forever,” you reply.

You’re pleased when you see his eyes crinkle as he laughs, the sound so sweet. It’s different than the lust-filled, teasing chuckle you hear when you’re fucking. This one is innocent. Genuine.

“Say sorry for joking like that,” he orders you.

“Sorry, baby,” you smile.

“That’s what I thought,” he scoffs, amused. You keep the cover lifted to watch him put his mouth on you again.

You spread your legs further apart, arching your back as he tongues you, reaching every dip between your folds.

You put a hand in Rafe’s hair, feeling the softness of his locks between your fingers as his head moves slowly.

He’s absolutely devouring you. It’s unlike his usual speed and roughness. He’s savoring this.

You keep your gaze on him, euphoria filling every curve of your body. He tilts slightly to meet your gaze, blue eyes locked on you as he laps at you, long and slow.

His nose presses against your groin, the sound of him sucking you filling your bedroom. You run the heel of your palm over his head, caressing him, realizing this is the gentlest, most affectionate thing you’ve done to him.

You dart your gaze to the ceiling. You’re taken aback at your own tender gesture. Why you touching him like this? Like he’s someone you’re dating instead of casually fucking?

Because he cuddled you to sleep last night. That must be it. His big, warm, bare chest was pressed against your back, arms encircling you, legs tangled together as you dozed off. He acted like a boyfriend and not the fuck buddy he is. Your body is just confused, you tell yourself.

You shut your eyes and focus on the way his mouth is suckling and working you, sending waves of easy, soft satisfaction through you.

“You’re really good at that,” you breathe, almost wishing you wouldn’t cum so he’d do this for hours.

“I know, baby,” Rafe murmurs.

You know he’s being his usual cocky self, but the fact that he’s so skilled should serve as a reminder. He’s experienced. He fucks around. He wants to own you, but he never said anything about you owning him.

This is just fun, you tell yourself. Just fun with a nice monetary reward.

His lips lock on your clit, sucking harder. As his finger slowly sinks into you, tingles go up your legs.

“Rafe,” you breathe, bucking your hips.

“You like that?” he encourages. “My good fucking girl.”

The hand on your thigh grips you tighter as he adds a finger, curling into your pussy and pushing in and out of you.

The next time his mouth circles your clit, you know you’re close.

“Like that, like that,” you whimper.

“You gonna cum for me?” he teases. “You’re clenching around my fingers.”

He sucks your clit hard again and the climax rips through you. You feel yourself twitching as you cum on his mouth.

Rafe groans against you, licking and sucking until you’re so overstimulated that you have to squeeze your thighs and wiggle free.

“Can’t take how good it feels?” he asks, provoking.

“Fuck,” you laugh. You press your palms against your forehead, throwing your head back and breathing deeply. What a way to wake up.

“Get on your stomach,” he instructs. He sits up, the blanket falling off of him. He’s wearing what he fell asleep in: nothing but his briefs, his bulge jutting out beneath the fabric.

You find the strength to turn onto your front, the movement making you realize how sore your ass is from the way he pounded into it last night.

Your cheek is pressed against your pillow and his cock slides in through the valley where the backs of your thighs meet, pushing into your cunt. You inhale in unison at the sensation.

“Fuck, it’s like you…” Rafe rasps. “Like you were fucking made for me. So fucking perfect.”

You arch your back so that he can get inside as deep as possible.

His movements are slow and deep at first, but build into rough, sloppy thrusts, making your bed squeak.

The way Rafe fills you feels so damn good. If he wanted to spend all day in your bed, fucking you over and over again, you’d happily agree to it.

Rafe’s breaths get faster, his groans get deeper, and he empties himself inside of you with a shudder, his hand squeezing your hip so hard that it hurts.

You’re bruised there from last night, you realize.

You never like the feeling of him leaving your body, and thankfully, he doesn’t do it just yet. Rafe simply lays on top of you, shifting a bit to the side so he’s not putting all of his weight on you.

His cheek is pressed against your shoulder blade. His hand on top of yours is directly at your eye-line as you rest on your pillow. You love those hands.

It’s Monday. You have class. You have to be a functioning person today. You don’t remember setting your alarm last night and you have no idea what time it is.

But you just started your morning by getting eaten out and fucked and Rafe’s warm, large body is shielding yours, so the idea of getting out of bed isn’t appealing in the slightest.

He’s still inside you.

You think back to last night, the way he fucked you from behind, how big his fingers around your neck and inside you were and how hard he slapped your ass.

“What’d I do to deserve you spanking me last night?” you ask.

“Poor baby,” he mocks. “Is your ass hurting? Need me to rub it?”

You feel him shift behind you, his hand sliding off of yours, palm going down your back and over the curve of your ass.

In the movement, his softening cock starts to slide out of you. You involuntarily let out a small, unhappy cry.

“What?” Rafe asks.

“Nothing,” you lie.

“Why are you whining?”

“Just… don’t like the feeling of you pulling out,” you admit.

“Oh, my God, so needy,” he jeers. “Wish you could have my dick in you all day, huh?”

You don’t deny it.

To your pleasure, Rafe lies back down, pushing the rest of himself into you again.

“You deserved getting spanked because you drive me fucking crazy,” he drawls. His hand rubs big circles on your naked ass.

“It’s not my fault you want me so bad.”

“Yeah, it is,” he mutters.

You finally find the will to pick your phone up from the nightstand.

You see that you’ll need to leave your place soon if you want to make it to your first class. But you’ll make it as long as your shower is quick.

You open your text conversation with Rafe, holding your phone low so he can’t see what you’re doing.

“Might wanna check your phone,” you say quietly.

You don’t want him to pull out of you, but it’s inevitable. He gets up with a grunt, making you feel incomplete without him inside you. You look over your shoulder when he’s lying down again, phone held out.

The phone looks so small in his hand. God, when did a man’s hands have such an effect on you?

Rafe smirks at his screen, turning it towards you.

“Watch this,” he says. You see the $50 request you just sent him, your text “for spanking me” right below it. He taps his thumb on ‘Reject.’

“You asshole,” you laugh. Then the top of the screen catches your eye. He has you saved as ‘princess’ and the contact photo is the booty pic you sent him yesterday.

“Rafe, that is unhinged,” you say, pointing to the photo. “You have to be joking. What if someone sees that picture?”

“Lucky them.”

You can’t help but laugh. At least this reminds you of what you are to him: a piece of ass. You officially push away the hope that you’re anything more. And a part of you even wishes he doesn’t do something sweet like staying overnight to keep you warm again. If he continues playing his horny sugar daddy role, and does no boyfriend shit like that again, the hope can never come back.

It’s better to be realistic.

“I have to go,” you complain, pushing yourself up. You turn to sit, your feet touching your floor, stretching your arms above your head, with your back to Rafe.

“Don’t do too much today,” he says. You turn, watching him pull his underwear on.

“What are you planning to do to me this time?”

He turns his lean frame to look down at you, his tongue jutting under his cheek in a way you can only describe as utterly mischievous.

“I’m gonna try to make you squirt.”

Your cheeks flood with warmth. This man is going to destroy you.

“’I’ve never done that before,” you say.

“Doesn’t mean you can’t.” Rafe hikes up his jeans and collects his shirt off the floor. “And if any guy can do it for you, it’s the one with the best cock you’ve ever had.”

“I regret telling you that,” you tease.

He bends over your small bed, pressing his palm to your cheek. His eyes travel over your face, smirking, looking like he’s imagining all the things he’s going to do tonight.

“See you tonight, princess.”

He leaves, and you’re still trying to catch your breath.

Your day of classes is tiring, your body still sore and reeling from Rafe having his way with you. You barely make it home for the maintenance guys to fix your radiator.

You sit in your kitchen, trying to study as they clang their tools and talk to each other in your bedroom.

It takes them two hours, finishing up in the evening. After they leave, you savor in the feeling of a warm room, Rafe’s money having solved one of your most expensive problems. It’s so simple, but so nice.

You lie in your bed just to rest your eyes.

You’re suddenly startled awake. Your room is pitch black and a slamming on your front door makes your heart pound in your chest.

You sit up, trying to gauge your surroundings. You check your phone to see it’s half past ten and you have three missed calls and a string of texts from Rafe.

Another sequence of pounds on the front door erupts. It must be him.

You rush to your front door and look through the peephole to confirm it’s Rafe, his jaw clenched in anger. You missed your nightly appointment. He seems pissed. Excitement bubbles inside you.

You crack open the door, meeting his eyes. He shakes his head at you, nostrils flared, and he pushes his way into your dark apartment.

Rafe slams the door behind him, hand roughly grabbing your face, squeezing your cheeks together, your lips jutting out.

“Where the hell were you?” he demands, looking down at you.

“Fell asleep?” you say weakly. He’s fuming - he likes to feel like he owns you and today, his personal pornstar didn’t obey him.

“I pay you to get in front of that camera on time.”

“You’re mad,” you tease, a smile uncontrollably growing on your lips. “Are you gonna punish me?”

Rafe tightens his grip on your face and you rest your hands on his firm forearms, feeling him pull up, beckoning you onto the tips of your toes. You’re already soaked.

“I’m going to fuck you in every hole,” he mutters, “and you’re fucking dreaming if you think you’re cumming tonight.”

“What?” you plead. “You said tonight, we’d try-“

“You think you deserve that?” he interrupts. He releases you, pushing you back. “Get in your fucking room. Go.”

You obey, feeling Rafe’s hand between your shoulder blades, pushing you into the space. He turns the light on behind you, surely wanting to see every inch of you while he makes you pay for flaking on him.

You hear his belt unbuckling behind you and he presses up against you, his cock hard between your asscheeks.

“Get naked,” he instructs. You bend to pull down your pants, take off your top, and strip entirely bare.

Rafe sits at the edge of your bed, palming himself over his briefs, his eyes locked on yours.

“Crawl to me,” he says. You drop to your knees, obeying him, stopping once your head is between his legs. He pulls his briefs down, his cock swollen.

You don’t need him to tell you the next instruction. You eagerly put your hand at his base and your mouth over his tip, spitting on the head.

“Yeah, get it really fucking wet,” he mutters. “You’re gonna choke on it.”

He groans when you close your lips around him, cheeks hollowing. You imagine him sitting on his bed tonight, waiting for you to log in, his dick hard and getting no attention, growing angry when you weren’t showing up.

You’ve never felt so craved by somebody before.

Rafe puts his hand on the back of your head and pushes you down to take all of him, hitting the back of your throat, triggering your gag reflex.

“That’s what you fucking get,” he tells you. You look up at him, eyes trailing up his toned stomach and up to his face. He looks so pissed off and so horny all at the same time. You squeeze your thighs together.

“Do I have to do it myself?” he scoffs, tugging at your roots and pulling you back.

“No, I can do it,” you say, muffled against his cock. You push back down, taking him all in, back curling as you gag on his slick length.

You grip him and start bobbing, moving your fingers off every time you reach his base, lips flanged around him.

“Faster,” he orders. You pick up your pace, spit dribbling out of your mouth, prompting you to slurp up the mix of saliva and precum.

“Fuck…” he groans. He pulls you off his dick, your lips popping off him. “Suck on my balls.”

You hungrily push his cock up, digging your head between his legs to put your mouth on his soft flesh, slurping.

“Shit,” he breathes out of pleasure. You feel proud of yourself for making him forget how angry he was so quickly.

Until you realize it wasn’t that easy.

His hand frames your face again, pads of his fingers digging into your cheeks, stopping you.

“On your back,” he says. “Right there, on the floor.”

You’re trembling as you shift back, laying on the hard floor, spreading your legs for him. He gets down to hover over you, his cock in his hand.

Rafe taunts you, bouncing the tip against your clit. Your body jolts at the feeling.

“You’re not gonna cum,” he warns you. “I know how this pussy feels when you’re close and I’ll stop.”

“Rafe,” you beg. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I swear, I-”

He plunges into you, cutting you off, his hips immediately hitting yours as he bottoms out. You throw your head back as he tears into you, his girth forcing you apart.

He thrusts hard and fast, fully rage-fucking you, taking his anger out with every move, and it’s the hottest thing he’s ever done to you.

“You want me to call you a good girl, don’t you?” he asks.

“I am a good girl,” you shudder, knowing it’s not true, saying it only so he’ll fuck you harder.

“No, you’re fucking not,” he laughs. You look down to see the way his cock is disappearing into you over and over again.

The tension in your gut is coiling tighter. You try not to make it obvious that you’re close to cumming, keeping your eyes low. But your body betrays you. The second your walls start to flutter around him, he pulls out.

“You’re not cumming,” he says. “I already fucking told you.”

This is not the Rafe who cuddled you to sleep last night. This side of him, the insatiable, animalistic side, is simple and only wants one thing. It’s so intoxicating being used by him.

“Ass up,” he says. You know he’s about to fulfill his promise of fucking you three different ways and you can’t wait.

You’re shaking as you spread your knees as much as you can, waiting on all fours, feeling his thumb pad rub up and down over your asshole.

“Can you take it without the lube?” Rafe asks.

This is the bullshit that makes you worry you’ll start liking him. Why can’t he just fuck you how he wants without worrying that he’ll hurt you? It’d be so much easier to not like him if he was cruel and selfish all the time.

“Do it,” you whisper depravedly, frustrated that your thoughts are getting carried away.

He pushes into your asshole, making you cry out in discomfort. The pressure stings as he fills you and you instinctually dart forward, your body trying to prevent any more pain.

“It’s hurting you,” he realizes, quickly pulling out.

“Rafe, just keep going,” you say, looking down at the floor. “Please.”

He buries into you again and you bite your lip hard. He starts to pound into you, balls hitting your pussy, hands gripping your hips.

You let out guttural moans with every pump, praying it’ll end, yet at the time, wishing he won’t cum for another hour. It’s such a good hurt.

Your elbows weaken and you collapse, pressing your forearms onto the hard floor. Your knees are burning in pain, your asshole strained, and tears start to leak out of your eyes as he thrashes mercilessly.

Rafe’s cock starts to spasm inside you, and after one last powerful thrust, you feel his hot, sticky cum flood you. His groan is the deepest, sexiest noise you’ve ever heard from him.

He trembles through some aftershocks, like he wants to give you every drop, then pulls out of you. You go limp, eyes shut, lids against your forearm.

You’re panting hard, sweat sheening your skin, and drop to your side, completely fucked out.

You feel his cum drip down the curve of your ass.

“Get up,” he says. You can’t.

Suddenly, his hands cup your waist, pulling you up.

“Come on,” Rafe says quietly. “Get up.”

You find your footing and he guides you to your bed. You’re a trembling mess as you lie down, curling onto your side, eyes closed, tears hot.

You can’t control the sniffle that shakes through you.

“Whoa, you’re…” he whispers.

You open your eyes to see him sitting over you, his face flushed. You find the strength to pull the comforter up to your eyes, hiding them as you nuzzle into your pillow.

“Hey,” he half-whispers. “You’re crying.”

“I’m just tired,” you say with a defeated laugh.

The room is quiet until you feel the mattress shift, its springs squeaking. Rafe settles behind you and you’re cold for a moment as he lifts the sheet off you. But then it’s on you again, his body curving around you, the comforter covering both of you.

You feel his hand come down your waist, your stomach, your thighs. He starts to gently rub between your legs.

He already told you that he wouldn’t let you orgasm, so you know he’s doing this to continue the torment.

Still, you shift onto your back, spreading your legs open for him, eyes closed as you breathe through the sensation of the pads of his fingers spreading your lips apart to fondle your clit.

You feel Rafe move over you, holding one of your breasts to close his mouth around your nipple. You shudder at the bliss he’s offering you, even though you’re painfully aware that he won’t let you reach your peak.

His fingers move expertly while his tongue flicks up and down and side to side, covering your nipple with his spit.

The stimulation of both his hand and his mouth makes the tightening in your stomach come quickly, and as you arch your back and start to breathe shallower, you’re surprised that his hand moves faster and his mouth sucks harder.

You moan as the orgasm hits you and he rubs you throughout the entire climax. Once you let out a final sigh, you open your eyes.

Rafe’s head rests on the pillow when he comes back up. He’s looking at you with half-closed lids, lying beside you.

“I thought…” you say, a smile pulling on your lips. He knows what you mean. You thought he wasn’t going to let you cum.

“Changed my mind.”

You know you’re not in the right headspace when you wonder if he did that out of guilt for fucking you so hard that he made you cry. That that was his special way of apologizing. But this is Rafe. It can’t be that. He’s simply enjoying keeping you in his control.

“I might miss our sessions more often if this is what happens,” you say breathily.

“Don’t,” he warns.

“I’ve never seen someone so angry,” you tease.

Rafe turns his head, looking up at the ceiling. You see his jaw tighten, clearly recalling how pissed off he was at you.

“I didn’t know where you were,” he said.

“I was right here in my freaking bed, Rafe,” you laugh. “Dead asleep.”

“No, it’s…” His brows furrow. “Some guys came to fix the heat today, right? And you were here all alone and…”

Realization hits you all at once.

“You were… worried they did something to me?” you ask. “And that’s why I didn’t show up?”

Rafe just shakes his head in disbelief again, mouth firming. You watch him in awe. Was that what got him so worked up?

You picture him at home, getting angrier with every minute you were late, and then the possibility of something like that happening to you suddenly popping in his mind, making him go batshit.

“Rafe,” you say with a small smile, genuinely endeared he was concerned about you.

He sits up, looking at you with an angry grimace.

“Why the fuck are you acting like it’s funny?” he snaps.

“I’m not,” you say softly. “I’m-”

“Next time you say you’re gonna be somewhere, be there,” he states coldly.

You feel like you have whiplash. You were just having fun with him. Now that you brought up why he came over in such a frenzy, he’s pissed off again?

Rafe stands, giving you a view of his naked body as he rounds your bed and picks up his briefs. He doesn’t make eye contact with you when he pulls his jeans on or puts on his shirt.

He doesn’t say a word as he storms out of your room. You simply hear your front door open and shut.

You’re left lying in bed, jarred over what just happened.

Working at the Cameron household, you caught little glimpses of the family’s home life and have heard your fair share of Rafe’s yelling. You knew he had a temper to him. But the way he just left, mood shifting so suddenly, is still shocking.

You don’t hear from Rafe the rest of the night. Or the next morning. Or afternoon. You’re not sure if he’s giving you the silent treatment or simply doesn’t feel the need to talk to you unless you’re fucking or you have a camera facing your half-naked body.

You sit on your bed at 10 pm, laptop open, unsure if he’ll even show up tonight. And if he doesn’t, what’s it going to be like when you go to your shift at the estate tomorrow?

But then you hear the familiar chime.

figure8 has joined the session.

“Hi,” you say, breaking the silence in your bedroom. “You still mad at me, baby?”

He doesn’t respond.

“I’m sorry,” you purr, pouting. You sit up, pulling your panties up tight, making sure he sees the outline of your lips under the silk. “Are we gonna try to make me squirt or no? I’m gonna need your help.”

figure8 tipped you $1000.

figure8: stay just like that. im coming over

{ read part seven here }

[gloomwitchwrites]

What If 141...

You gave us that amazing chase scene in Dangerous Pursuit....how about for the other 141? You can include Price again of course :) I'd only ask that it be consensual. Thanks!

Oh, the chase scene from Dangerous Pursuit. That was a fun one to write. If any of y'all are interested in that one, you can find it HERE. Let's just say that it involved mud, Price dragging Reader back to the safehouse, and then forcing her into the shower with him. Things...happen. (hehe)

To be fair, there are actual chase scenes with lots of running, and simply walking very fast to maybe escape. Three of the four are more fast walking, while the fourth is more "traditional." Kyle's is the mildest. Simon's is straight up CNC and involves more of a "stalking" aspect. Price's is all about stubborn, bratty Reader and is a Bodyguard AU, and Johnny's is the only genuine "chase" through the woods.

For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE

Task Force 141 x Female Reader

Content & Warnings: CNC, Primal, Stalking, knifeplay, brief pussy slapping, unprotected piv (wrap it up irl), creampie, swearing, Bodyguard AU, arguments, rough sex, semi-public sex, established relationship, secret relationship, spanking, rough kissing, light breeding, possessive behavior

Word Count: 4.7k

ao3 // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist

John Price

“I told your father that I’d take you home.”

“And I want to stay, John.” He sternly stares back, unamused. “What’s the issue?” you shrug. “Why can’t I stay?”

“You know I don’t ask questions.”

“No,” you reply. “You just do as your told.”

John grimaces. “And you do as I tell you.”

“That only works in the bedroom, John,” you hiss, lowering your voice.

“Fucking hell,” he mutters, rolling his eyes.

You’re being stubborn, but this event is fun. Most of the time, your father doesn’t bring you along to work banquets or charity parties. When he does, you’re briefly shown about, and then quickly whisked away. This time, you were allowed to stay.

“I’m staying.”

John shakes his head. “Can’t do that. Can’t disobey direct orders from your father.”

The two of you stand in a small side hallway directly left of the main banquet hall. Only a few people loiter about, but they are closer to the main foyer. None of them are giving either of you any attention.

“No,” you retort.

“No?” asks John, slowly.

“I’m. Staying.” You emphasize each word, and when John doesn’t reply, you start to turn away to head back into the banquet hall.

But John has other plans. Grabbing your wrist, he pulls, returning you to the stop you just occupied. He takes a single step into your space, staring intently into your eyes.

“We. Are. Leaving,” he says in the exact same way.

A sharp reply forms on your tongue, ready to be unleashed. John knows you, though, and continues on, interrupting before you can even begin. “Now, be a good girl, and let’s go.”

“Fuck you,” you mutter, yanking your arm out of his grasp.

Pushing past John, you purposefully shoulder-check him before storming down the long hall. There is an emergency exit at the other end. Bursting through it, you nearly trip on the top step, but manage to right yourself at the last second.

John calls your name but you ignore him. It is your only defense. It’s not like you can make it far with him on your tail.

Passing the second landing, you head for the next short flight of stairs, but John is already on you, grabbing your upper arm.

“Wait,” he commands, but you blatantly disregard the order. “Stop!”

Keeping your back to him does nothing. John gives your arm another tug, and this time he puts his strength behind it, shoving you up against the concrete wall. His hips press against yours, his large hand coming to rest beside your head.

“Don’t make this hard. Don’t run.” His voice is sweet, and that stirs a need in your belly.

You do soften, lips parting to receive his. John goes in for the claiming, meeting you with equal softness. Heat rushes to your core. With a hand between your bodies, you palm John through his pants. Rubbing his erection, he groans softly. The sound of it sends a bolt of pleasure straight to your pussy.

Then, you squeeze. A little bit harder than you usually would.

“Fuck,” he mutters, breaking the kiss.

It’s enough to slip away—enough for you to break out of his grasp and flee down the stairs. John follows. It isn’t until you’re at the bottom floor and exiting into the parking garage that he catches up.

“Let go of me,” you bite, but John ignores you, grasping your upper arm in a vice grip.

He guides you toward the black SUV the two of you arrived in. John retrieves the key fob and unlocks it, the car’s headlights coming on.

“Get in,” he mutters, opening the rear passenger door.

He unceremoniously shoves you into the backseat.

But he doesn’t shut the door. He doesn’t walk around to the front to get in the driver side.

Instead, John follows in after you, slamming the car door shut behind him.

Your next words are lost as his hand wraps around your throat and he pushes you onto your back. John’s kisses are not sweet. They are rough. Claiming. You open for him, taking each one, your need for him spiking ever higher.

“Told you to behave,” he mutters, hand coming down hard on the inside of your thigh.

You yelp, and then you’re yanked upright into his lap. John adjusts your position, spreading you wide over his thighs.

The front of his pants is open, belt to the side, everything shoved down enough to reveal this thick cock. “You’re going to sit on my cock, and fuck yourself on it. Yeah?”

You stare him down. Unmoving. It’s not that you don’t want to—because you’d fucking love to—but you’re irritated with him. You want to be a bit stubborn in this.

Gripping your thighs, John lifts just enough to push your thong to the side, line you up, and bring you down on his cock. You’re immediately impaled, and you both groan loudly. His hand grabs the back of your neck, fingers lightly digging into your skin.

“Fucking do it, love. Or we’ll sit like this all fucking night.”

Planting your hands against the back of the seat, you start to rock and roll, lifting and coming down again.

“Too slow,” he murmurs. “Fuck yourself.”

Fingers digging into the rough fabric, you angle forward a bit, engage the correct muscles, lightly bouncing on his cock.

“That’s it, love,” groans John. “Just like that.”

You set a steady rhythm, and John releases his hold, placing his hands off to the side, deliberately not touching you. But you notice his fingers flexing, like he itches to do it.

“You can follow direction,” he murmurs.

“Shut the fuck up, John,” you moan, your own pleasure building with every second.

But you need more. It simply isn’t enough. Reaching down, you seek your clit.

“No.” John snags your wrist and raises your hand to eye-level. He brings it to his mouth, sucking your slickness off your fingers. “Not until I fill you with my cum.”

“John,” you whimper.

“After,” he repeats, and you return your hand to the seat behind him.

You want your end, but to find it, you have to give John what he wants. With each upward tilt of your hips, you lightly engage your pelvic floor, squeezing him.

“Fuck,” he groans, elongated the vowel.

You repeat it a few more times until John’s eyelids become slightly heavy. Then, you’re frantic. Desperate. The car might be rocking erratically but you’d hardly care. The need to come is driving you on.

John’s hands go to your thighs, and then they squeeze—hard. Guiding, he meets you thrust for thrust, until all of the control is his, and John has you sealed to him, taking every drop.

The two of you pant in the dark car. There is sweat on your brow and on the back of your neck.

Pushing your dress out of the way, John reveals your pussy and how his cock sits inside you. He’s not looking at where your bodies meet. He’s staring into your eyes, thumb poised at your clit.

“You followed my orders,” he murmurs with the first stroke of his thumb. The one touch sends a rocket of pleasure up your spine. You’ll be gone in seconds. “That’s how it should always be, yeah?” He rubs little circles. Your hips twitch, rocking into his touch.

John is still inside you, and you watch as his cum-slicked cock appears and disappears with each soft rock of your hips.

“My good girl. My good fucking girl.”

Another stroke, and then your fingers dig into his shoulder, back arching, head lolling as the orgasm grips you.

When you come down, John sticks his thumb in his mouth, sucking it clean. The next second, he’s lifting you off his cock, placing you into the seat next to him. The car down opens, and he slides out, adjusting his clothes and smoothing his suit jacket.

“Out,” he says.

“What?”

“Out.”

You do and he shuts the door behind you only to open the front passenger door. “Get in.”

The moment you’re in, he shuts it and goes around the front of the car. He hops in, and turns the key in the ignition, bringing the car to life. John backs out, and then the two of you are off.

The moment he clears the parking garage and the first stoplight, he glances in your direction.

“Punishment isn’t over.” He briefly nods toward your dress. “Hike it up. Play with yourself. Use my cum to do it.”

Simon "Ghost" Riley

The sky above Manchester is slightly overcast and grey.

It might be chilly, but that doesn’t appear to dampen anyone’s mood. The festival clogging the streets is packed full of people. Everyone’s attention is completely absorbed in what is happening around them.

Food and drink stalls line the street, interrupted here and there with stalls selling wares and crafts. There are activities for all ages, and live music on each corner. Everyone around you is enjoying themselves, and yet you are on alert.

A shadow is at your back. He is one with the crowd, moving amongst them like he’s simply one of them.

But you know him for who he is. There is no balaclava. No tactical gear. Just civilian clothes and a cigarette hanging from his mouth.

He comes to a stop one stall over, observing some art, admiring the brushstrokes like he’s actually there to shop and not stalking you.

Simon isn’t here for any of it. Not the food or beer stalls. Not for the trinkets or live music. He is there for you.

And the game is good.

It thrills your blood, churns your heart, makes every nerve fire erratically.

Casually turning away from the flowers you were inspecting, you pretend not to notice Simon. Yet, every time you glance over your shoulder, he appears to have grown a bit closer, matching you almost step for step.

Stepping around a giggling couple, you curve to the right, popping between two stalls and reappearing on the other street. You glance left, seeing no sign of him, and then glance to the right.

As if from nowhere, Simon appears. His arms are crossed over his chest, head tilted slightly to the side in a mocking gesture.

“Fuck,” you whisper, turning around to seek another escape.

If you can make it to the checkpoint without Simon grabbing you, you win.

If not…

You feel the brush of an arm against your own. Stepping to the side, you glance over, only to find Simon. He is standing right there, his body angled in your direction. Every limb and muscle freezes, solidifying you like stone.

It is a temporary paralysis.

You twist away, moving into the crowd.

Simon casually pivots with you, following as you weave through the crowd. He strolls, each movement slow and calculated, as if he knows there is no rush in catching you.

But then again, Simon always wins.

Even with the rules.

With each step, you glance over your shoulder. Simon holds the same distance, still casually strolling with indifference. You pick up the pace, intending to escape, only for you to knock into someone’s shoulder.

“So sorry,” you say quickly.

The older man you’ve run into shrugs, smiling. “No harm done.”

Giving him your best smile, you quickly glance away, seeking Simon.

But Simon is gone. A disappearing phantom.

You spin, gaze scanning the crowd, but you don’t see him. Simon is absent. Or hidden. He could be anywhere.

Taking off, you slip between two stalls to cut through a side street. There are people around but no one is hanging about. They keep moving, minding their own business.

The side street is completely empty.

You keep glancing back, expecting Simon to come up behind you, turning into the alley to pursue.

But he doesn’t come from behind.

He doesn’t come from the front, either.

A hand closes over your mouth, and you’re tugged from the side, dragged beneath a garage door and into a loading area. Simon pushes you against the wall.

“You lose,” he murmurs.

The cigarette is gone, and there is a mischievous glint in his eye. The rules say that if Simon catches you, he can do whatever he wants.

With his body trapping you, Simon withdraws a knife from his boot. He taps the flat edge against your cheek.

“If you scream. I cut. Got it?”

You nod frantically.

The knife disappears, and his hand falls from your mouth. He grabs you by your upper arms, hauling you away from the wall, only to push you down onto a nearby stacks of crates. You’re not bent over completely. Just shoved forward. At Simon’s mercy.

“Spread your legs.” You obediently do so. Simon’s hand roam over your jeans, gliding over ass and thigh. “Take them off.”

Reaching with one hand, you undo the button, and then you’re shoving your jeans down as best you can. When they stick, Simon grabs hold, yanking them down to the floor. You whimper, and Simon lightly slaps your pussy through your underwear.

The knife comes next, slipping underneath the fabric. Simon tugs, and you hear the rip before you feel the bare air against your slick pussy.

“Open your mouth.” You obey, and Simon shoves your underwear into your mouth.

Grabbing your wrists, Simon locks your arms at your back, keeping you stationary. From your advantage points, all you can see are his boots between your legs.

Simon’s thumb parts your pussy, the wet squelch of your arousal loud in the air. He teases your entrance—moves to your clit. Toying with it has you clenching on nothing.

“You love it when I hunt you.” Simon’s thumb disappears, replaced with the head of his cock. He rubs that through your slickness, coating the tip. “Do you feel that?”

The head of his cock starts to push in, and you moan around your underwear.

Simon chuckles, and then he’s shoving forward, forcing every inch of him inside. It is tight, the stretch a little daunting. It always is with him. With the next thrust, your foot slips against the floor, but Simon holds your firmly.

That thrust was just a tease. Using his weight to keep you pinned, Simon fucks you in earnest, skin slapping against skin. You are his toy. To do with as he wishes. To be his in whatever ways he wants.

Those are the rules after all. You’ve been caught. Simon is the one in control.

He grunts above you, not speaking. You’re unable to see him, but you feel the harsh grip of his hands. There are no people around, just the distant sound of music slipping in from underneath the garage door.

The warehouse is completely empty, and knowing Simon, he likely scoped this place out before the two of you arrived here. He enjoys planning ahead. If anything, he was probably herding you to this very spot on purpose.

The fucking bastard.

His thrusts increase—become more erratic. As the winner, your pleasure doesn’t matter. This is about him. Simon stifles a moan, and then he’s grinding forward, pressing himself full against you.

Simon shivers as his release floods him and enters into you. Your pussy clenches around him, squeezing, telling him to fill you until you’re dripping.

In the silence of the warehouse, Simon’s labored breathing starts to even out. He doesn’t release your wrists. Instead, he thrusts shallowly a few times, spreading his cum around before withdrawing.

“You did good,” he murmurs. Using the grip on your arms, Simon brings you up to standing, his softening cock pressing against your ass. “Behaved nicely.” He lightly kisses the side of your throat.

Releasing your wrists, his fingers find your lips. You open for him, and Simon removes your underwear from your mouth. It disappears into his pocket.

“Get dressed. And then you’re going to follow me out of here. Calmly. And without fuss.” Your only answer is nod. “You’ll get yours when we leave.”

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

"You're being difficult," growls Kyle.

"I'm being difficult?" you snap. "How inconvenient for you."

Kyle rolls his eyes and throws his hands up in the air. "I'm not arguing with you about this," he sighs.

"Great,” you reply, shrugging your shoulders like you’re not bothered at all. “Not that interested either."

It earns you a sharp glare that you blatantly ignore.

"We need to cool off," murmurs Kyle, his demeanor softening.

"I agree," you say automatically, starting to turn away from him.

You’re being bratty. It’s not right, but it feels fucking good. Irritation simmers beneath your skin, and you’re itching for an argument.

“Where are you going?” asks Kyle.

"Away from you.”

Kyle mutters something you don’t quite catch, but you don’t turn around. You keep walking, trudging ahead, even when he tries to stop you.

“What are you going?” he asks again.

"You just asked me that. And I answered you.”

“We’re not at home. Where do you think you’re going?”

You shrug. “Why does that matter? You just said we need to cool off.”

“I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone in a public space.”

"And I don't feel like being in your presence at the moment."

Kyle mutters a curse, but you’re already walking away again, aiming for anywhere but beside him.

"No," he says, reaching out to grab your wrist. You pull back at the last second and continue on.

Kyle says your name.

You ignore him.

People are starting to stare—to glance in your direction. It only makes you want to run fast—to move swiftly away from the situation. It’s not that you want to fight. You hate fighting with Kyle. But you’re annoyed, and sometimes having it out in the moment isn’t the best time to sort through an issue.

Kyle moves out in front of you, coming to a stop directly in your path. You side-step, but Kyle matches the movement.

“I swear to God, Kyle,” you growl.

“You’re not leaving my sight,” he replies, voice husky and harsh. “Don’t care how mad you are.”

Your hand rises in a gesture for silence. Biting your own tongue, you swallow back a retort.

Taking a deep breath, you try again. “Move.”

"No."

As you shove past him, Kyle grabs your upper arm, haltering all forward momentum.

“Is this bloke bothering you?”

Putting on your best smile, you turn toward the stranger, intending to reassure him that everything is fine.

"We're good," says Kyle before you even get a word out.

Nope. Now you're beyond annoyed.

The stranger doesn't address Kyle. He doesn’t look at him at all. “I was asking the lady.”

"I'm fine,” you reply slowly. “Thank you."

Kyle’s back straightens, shoulders broadening. “She said she’s fine.”

All you irritation is melting away, pooling at your feet like a rainy puddle. You adore like this. Protective. Assertive. Slightly possessive.

The stranger inclines his head and backs away. Kyle watches him go, his mouth a thin line of annoyance.

Rolling his shoulders like he’s shaking off stress, Kyle pivots in your direction, his grim expression switching to a puzzled one.

“I know that look,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What look?" you ask, all innocence.

Whatever Kyle felt before is gone. There is a knowing—nearly sly—smirk twisting at the corner of his mouth.

He takes a small breath, and then leans in a bit, lowering his voice. “You want to do this here?”

"Not here," you shrug. "But it would help work off some this," you gesture vaguely, "irritation."

Kyle’s gaze sweeps up and down your body, admiring every angle. He is not subtle. Each pass of his gaze is deliberate, like you are a shiny gold necklace he wants to purchase.

“You think you deserve it?” he asks, slightly arching an eyebrow. “After running away from me?”

“Oh, fuck off,” you groan.

Your arm rises, hand poised to push at him, but Kyle knows all your moves. His hand grips your wrist and squeezes, drawing you close.

“Don’t run, love. I’ll always chase you.”

He promptly releases your wrist and you spin on your heel, the irritation rising again, boiling hot in your blood.

It is just you, and your footsteps moving toward escape. People pass by you—but his presence is there, sitting on your heels. A weight you cannot shake off.

The moment you step into a side hall that exits into the main parking garage; Kyle is grabbing your waist. It doesn’t matter that the door he pushes you through says “Employees Only.”

You’re shoved against the wall, his hands roaming, tugging at your clothes. There is nothing soft about this. He is hungry. Wanton. Kyle loves the chase. You resist—but it’s pretend. You enjoy Kyle like this. You enjoy this attention.

Kyle’s lips press to yours, but you do not kiss him back. It earns you the reaction you desire. With an annoyed, grunt, Kyle turns you around and shoves you back against the wall. Your cheek flattens, the cold stone almost biting as Kyle shoves his hand down your pants to play with your pussy.

His finger slides through your slickness, seeking your clit, teasing a bit before retreating.

“I told you I’d always chase you.” He nips at your ear, and then with his other hand, slaps your ass.

You yelp, but all that earns you is Kyle’s hand. Not returning to your ass but to venture into your mouth. Fingers push in, and then your lips suck his digits, tasting your wetness.

“You need to fucking behave or—”

“Excuse me.”

Kyle freezes. He waits a beat, and then turns his head enough to look over his shoulder. With your position, you only see the vague shape of a person.

“You’re not supposed to be back here.”

Kyle clears his throat. “Sorry,” he laughs. “Got a bit turned around. Right, love?”

His fingers are gone, as is his hand.

“Yes,” you answer with a giggle. “Took the wrong door!”

The employee is unimpressed, but only steps to the side next to the open door, lightly extending their arm in a gesture to leave. Kyle promptly places his hand on the small of your back, ushering you forward.

He guides out into the parking garage, and you whirl on him, but Kyle is faster.

“We’re going home,” he murmurs.

“Kyle—”

“Behave,” he coos. “You won’t like your punishment.”

John "Soap" MacTavish

The moon glows high in the sky, casting white light across the tree line in front of you. Johnny is in nothing but a kilt and boots. There is a cheery, almost cheeky grin on his face. You have no idea how the man isn’t cold or even chilly. The cool night air doesn’t appear to bother him at all.

It is just the two of you. No one else is out. The farm is completely asleep.

“I’m gonna show you a piece of my history.”

“Your history?” you ask, shivering.

Johnny instructed you to bring a thin nightdress with you when you came to visit his family farm. Tonight, you’re in it, barefoot and seconds away from shivering. The material is almost translucent, and it clings to your body, hugging every curve and dip. It’s for sleeping. Not for frolicking in the Scottish Highlands at night.

“Aye,” shrugs Johnny. “Family history. Clan, specifically.”

Your cross your arms over your chest to hide your pebbled nipples. “It has to do with the forest?”

He nods. “You know what’s coming up?”

You frown. Shake your head.

“Beltane,” he answers. “It’s all about…coming together in fruitful union.”

“Fruitful union?” you deadpan.

“It’s a time to celebrate,” he replies, turning his back on the dark forest to address you directly. “Passion. Abundance. Vitality.” He pauses. “Conception.”

The back of your neck warms at the word.

“Why are we out here exactly?” you ask, pushing the conversation on. It’s not like it doesn’t intrigue you, but it is chilly.

“All the families in the area would gather their marriable sons and daughters, bring them to this very forest, and they’d…have a race.”

“A race?”

“The men in kilts.” Johnny gestures to himself. “Every bonnie lass in robes.” He gestures to you.

“I’d hardly call this a robe, Johnny.”

He takes a step closer. The heat at the back of your neck intensifies, running up to your cheeks and scorching down your back to pool in your core.

“Women were sent first into the wood with the goal to come out untouched on the other side. The men would be sent in a few minutes after. Chase them down.”

“And what was the purpose of this?” you ask, voice nearly a whisper.

Johnny steps forward. “Marriage.” His gaze drops to your lips.

"I see. And what happened in the woods, exactly?"

Johnny grins, gaze returning to your eyes. "I think you know."

You do know. It isn’t hard to connect the dots.

“Am I to be chased?”

Johnny’s thumb lightly brushes the underside of your bottom lip. “Would you like that?”

You nod.

He leans in, lightly pressing his lips to yours. “Then run.”

You don’t run. You don’t really jog, either. It’s more of a quick walk with an occasional skip into the dark forest. And it is that. Dark. The moment you slip beyond the exterior tree line, you’re swallowed up. The sky is clear with no clouds, and yet only a few slivers of moonlight break the canopy overhead.

You are not made for this. Especially barefoot.

The only thing you can do is to take it slow. And the other side? You didn’t even ask how far it is or in what direction you need to go. But it’s not like you want to be successful. Johnny is somewhere behind you, hunting you down, watching you in the dark.

You are the deer. And he the hunter.

An owl hoots. A twig snaps. Like a startled animal, you spin around, head on a swivel as you scan the darkness. There is nothing. Only you. And the intense hammering of your heart.

You take one step back, the soft ground melting under your foot.

Reaching out, your fingers brush against bark. It is rough and coarse beneath your fingertips. Splaying your hand flat, you press your palm against the trunk of tree beside you.

Its outline is hardly visible.

Just a shape in the dark.

“Found you.”

Johnny’s voice comes as a whisper just over your shoulder. You start, body lurching forward as the adrenaline spikes. His arms grab at your waist, and then the tree is at your back, biting into your skin through the slim fabric.

Johnny’s hand cradles the side of your neck as he goes in for a kiss. It is claiming. Deep. Intense. You open for him eagerly, tasting him, and sucking on his tongue.

He groans in response, his pelvis grinding against you. Even with the kilt you feel his hardness. It is pressing. Insistent.

“You’re mine now,” he murmurs, breaking the kiss, giving breath before stealing it again.

One hand slips underneath the hem of your nightdress. You’re not wearing underwear, and that hand—Johnny’s hand—pushes between your thighs, seeking your wetness. He finds it, moaning softly into your mouth as he glides his fingers back and forth over your pussy, teasing your clit in slow circles.

The cold is distant now. Fuzzy. There is only heat, and your legs part for him, wanting more.

Johnny’s grip tightens, and then he’s drawing back, turning you around and pressing you against the tree again. You brace yourself against the bark. Johnny shoves the nightdress up, exposing your ass to the chilly air.

But then the cold is gone, replaced by his heat.

Johnny cages you in, and then you’re the one who fills the wood with your moan. The head of his cock pushes in, and then Johnny is thrusting. With his hands on your hips to keep you in place, Johnny ruts into you, teeth grazing along your exposed shoulder.

You are unable to move. Unable to do anything but take it.

Each stroke hits deep, sending waves of sensation up to cloud your head. There is a hazy settling over you. Your pussy clenches, and Johnny shivers, his thrusts stuttering slightly. Once it relaxes again, Johnny is right back at it, grunting.

“Tell me you’re mine,” he groans, pace quickening.

It’s slurred a bit.

Reaching behind you, you grasp the back of Johnny’s neck. Turning your head just enough, you find his mouth, seeking your own claiming.

“I’m yours.”

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[luvsicktyun]

I am SAT. I am ready.

Ever since Yeonjun had gotten together with that stupid nerd he’d changed. - I am telling y'all rn, every mention of yeonjun will make me scream.

The Choi’s, that something was no longer the same. — But why him? Beomgyu wasn’t the one who’d changed, they changed, not him. Yeonjun was the one who…He was the one who became infatuated with that good for nothing nerd, and Soobin he…he just accepted it? - angsty emo beomgyu is actually my kryptonite y'all don't understand how badly I need him.

“Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” - ah, a classic. but period? bully beomgyu for me personally is kind of hard for me to imagine since I view beomgyu in such a sweet manner but the way serene paints a picture is genuinely so good. She's very vivid when it comes to describing his emotion as well as his facial expressions. it's like a movie playing in my mind and serene is the director.

Blood rushes within his body like never before, anger soaring through him at the mere sight of your pestering face. - weird way to say you're in love, but go off king!

Suppose you had been mentioning his name a little here and there. A few comments, nothing crazy, nothing that wasn’t true. It wasn’t exactly unwarranted either. Choi Beomgyu was a nuisance. And without his friends to protect him, you were finally able to sharpen the knife that had been so diligently resting behind your back for three years. - ykw a little toxicity is hot, we love that for them.

Taehyun was your only friend - taehyun mentioned; immediate swoon.

Though he was originally opposed to the friendship, Taehyun had begrudgingly come to accept your persistent presence as you lingered by his desk between classes - me core

The sound of chairs scraping against the hard floor fills the classroom as everyone scurries toward the front, eager to see who they’d been partnered up with. - another classic and I love it.

Taehyun nods as he reaches for the bag swung over his shoulder, undoing the zipper as he rummages through its contents. Beomgyu watches him with a look of nonchalance, seemingly unaware of your presence as he focuses on your friend before him. — “Here”, Taehyun murmurs as he hands him at least four pages worth of paper, neatly stapled together. - helppp no way.

He was way out of your league. — Yet he reaches a hand out, eyes darting from yours and down to your own intertwined fingers. His palm is soft and warm against yours, his grip unwavering as he shakes your hand. “I’m Beomgyu, Choi Beomgyu”, he smiles, it’s a kind smile, and your heart flutters at the sight. - oh what happened to you choi beomgyu...

You wondered if Beomgyu noticed things about you too. Did he see things you didn’t, and did he like them? Did he like you? Perhaps you would’ve gotten answers to all of those questions, had things turned out differently. - gah this kinda makes me sad

Upon passing that one peculiar little red door, your ears are met with the muffled sounds of what could only be someone getting their guts absolutely plowed. Your nose wrinkles in disgust, ‘room 291’ - oh. Yeonjun???????

Choi Yeonjun leans forward, his arm wrapped around a girl you recognized as his girlfriend. He looks to be in deep conversation with the third of their small party, Choi Soobin. - EKKKKK I'M SO HAPPY THEY'RE HAPPY

the way Beomgyu continues to glance their way, even when surrounded by at least a dozen others. You recognize the look in his eyes, the longing. It was the same way you’d been looking at him for the past two years. - bro needs to get off his high horse then. it's not that serious

“A friendship bracelet?” you question as you eye the small piece Beomgyu had just handed you. - no I'll cry. rn.

“Like a piece of me.” 

Your eyes widen when he suddenly takes a step forward, reaching for the accessory as he plucks it from your fingers. “So that, in a way, I’ll always be with you”, he says as he wraps the leather around your wrist. - no stop that's so cute I'm crying.

And as the door slams shut behind him, you’re left in an unbearable silence. Carefully you reach for the bracelet, only to find it torn in half.  - bro what the fuck I hate him

So was it really so wrong to look forward to a bit of company after school? Even if said company was a grumpy and quiet Beomgyu who did his best in ignoring you whilst he was there. Maybe. — Maybe it was the slight urgency of losing the temporary comfort these quiet hours had provided you that led to the act of stupidity you were about to perform next.  - oop girl no.

“Are you meeting Yeonjun?” - GIRL why would she say that

You shouldn’t have asked that, you know it. Yet you did. - YOU THINK???

You don’t know why you kissed him. - HELPPPP

It sounds almost as if one of them had shoved the other against the wall and your eyes widened as you resist the urge to take just a single step forward, to round the corner and see for yourself. — Yeonjun is the first to speak. “You fucking watch your mouth!” He snarls and you can make out Beomgyu’s low groan as he splutters against what you presumed to be Yeonjun’s chokehold on him. - PERIOD I'M WET. I'M SO WET.

He is not the Beomgyu you know. Because the Beomgyu you know would never kiss you. - I'm screaming I'm crying I'm throwing up

“I love you.”  - no. no. no. no.

“Just stay in your own lane”, he then adds, giving you a quick one over. “You’re better off without him anyway. – He’ll only bring you down with him.” - bruh I need answers and I need them NEOW.

“It’s cold”, he then adds, as if the obvious could not have been made any clearer. - I'm so down bad that this would make me fold and forgive him. someone sedate me.

Your breath catches in your throat and your eyes widen tenfold when they fall on the familiar piece of leather. It was the same warm brown, and the contrastingly dark navy blue. The bracelet which you had cherished for so long, the one you had clung onto in the hopes that his matching part would still exist somewhere.  - I definitely don't have tears in my eyes...

He’s barely taking breaks to breathe in between sentences, and you catch the subtle flush to his cheeks as he speaks. “I fucking hate the fact that you’re always on my mind, much more do I hate that I never even try to will those thoughts away.” Beomgyu bites his bottom lip, chewing on it for a good five seconds before letting it go as he sneaks a glance your way. “But I…” He sighs as he finally comes to a conclusion after his long battle with himself. — “I don’t hate you. I want to, but I can’t” - I'm screaming!!! they're so misunderstood...my heart hurts for him.

His breath is warm against your lips as his own hover above them. The tip of his round nose brushes against yours, the small contact sending a jolt of electricity through you. “What I should have done from the start”, he murmurs before pressing his lips to yours. - so sweet and cutie core and I'm crying because I love them so much.

“Wouldn’t dream of it”, he drawls as he presses ‘New Game’. - STFUUU

I LOVED THIS, I HEART THIS. Beomgyu is so complex in this. My emotion's were all over the place here. I felt anger, sadness, happiness, confusion. Serene has such a way to make you really feel the story the way the characters do. It's not simply black and white, there's so much depth behind reasoning. I loved TROCJ but this one, this one might be higher on my personal list. IT WAS SO GOOD. and so worth the wait, fics like this remind me why I love to read.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐁𝐄𝐎𝐌𝐆𝐘𝐔

𝓓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝓔𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐘 ⸝⸝ And you don’t know why you took a step forward, why you let your hands brush against his, why you didn’t stop when you saw the bewilderment on his face. You don’t know why you leaned in closer, when you should be pulling back. — And you don’t know why you couldn’t look away, why you couldn’t tear your gaze from the flames dancing across his eyes. 

You don’t know why you kissed him. ⸝⸝

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ wc, 25.5k ་༘࿐

𝓹airing bully!beomgyu x fed-up!reader (f) 𝔀arning friends to enemies to lovers, bullying, implied violence, violence, beomgyu's a dick, reader's also mean at times, college au, kissing, fingering, mutual masturbation, unprotected sex + pullout, angsty confessions, hmm um um what else, I have no clue..

#serene adds ✎... HAPPY BEOMGYU DAY !! (because it's still the 13th here) ⎯ and oh my god have you guys been waiting for this fic... how long has it been, 6/7 months? maybe even more... I have no words. I feel like this fic is a little all over the place, you might notice the inner monologue changing and so on, but that's because I've been writing it over 6 months roughly, my view on the story has changed with each month... I hope it'll still be worth your while >.< happy gyu day, my love <33 - rain says I need to mention her

This story is a sequel to, The Redemption of Choi Yeonjun ⎯ It's advised that you read said fic beforehand !

People change for the stupidest of reasons. At least Beomgyu thinks so. He’s been told that his view of the world is narrow, that change is something good, something that everyone goes through. That change is important. What a load of bullshit. Look what change had done to his best friend. — Ever since Yeonjun had gotten together with that stupid nerd he’d changed. Changed for the worse. And it seemed as if Beomgyu was the only one who could see it. 

He glares at his classmates, but his once sharp gaze seems to have lost its touch. They whisper, talk, murmur, gossip, they speculate about him. Because everyone knew that something had happened between The Choi’s, that something was no longer the same. — But why him? Beomgyu wasn’t the one who’d changed, they changed, not him. Yeonjun was the one who…He was the one who became infatuated with that good for nothing nerd, and Soobin he…he just accepted it? 

Beomgyu almost snorts at the thought. Fine. If they wanted to give everything up just like that, they could, why should he care? But the lingering glances he receives as he pushes through the crowded hallways are near impossible to shake off. So what if he was walking alone? He didn’t need his friends, they weren’t his friends anymore, they were just side pieces in a much bigger pictur– 

“Hey! Watch where you’re going freak!” He seethes as a small boy crashes into his chest, a freshman probably. Beomgyu’s eyes narrow as he seizes the kid. The younger male swallows as he scrambles to gather his belongings, clearing his throat awkwardly as he pushes his glasses further up on his nose. — “I-I’m so sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going and I..” 

What a pathetic being. Beomgyu grimaces at his petty apology, “stay out of my way next time, alright? You weak piece of–” 

“Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” 

The voice is familiar as it pierces through the crowded hallway and suddenly the previous buzz of students surrounding him diminishes as Beomgyu’s gaze flickers past the small boy in front of him. — You. 

His teeth grind together at the sight of your cocky figure, that smug grin you always wore, as if you were better than everyone else, as if you were better than him. What a joke. Ever since him and his friends broke apart, you seemed to have been actively plotting against him, singling him out now that he was alone. — Beomgyu would die before admitting that your schemes ever proved successful. Because if there was one thing he hated, it was people who meddled in his business. And you seemed to know nothing else. 

The young freshman scurries off before Beomgyu has the chance to grab him and he bites back a frustrated groan. Instead his attention shifts to your approaching frame. With the small squeak of your sneakers against the floor, you stop inches from him, your eyes near level with his. — Blood rushes within his body like never before, anger soaring through him at the mere sight of your pestering face. 

“Pick on someone my own size? And that would be what, you?” He scoffs, eyeing you with disdain. The grin on your lips only widened further and he refused another grimace. Then it clicks, and Beomgyu has to hold himself back as he feels his jaw twitch. — “You.” The acknowledgement is a short huff of air, it hits your face and you squint as your eyes pierces his. “You’re the one who’s been running their mouth about me all week.” 

Suppose you had been mentioning his name a little here and there. A few comments, nothing crazy, nothing that wasn’t true. It wasn’t exactly unwarranted either. Choi Beomgyu was a nuisance. And without his friends to protect him, you were finally able to sharpen the knife that had been so diligently resting behind your back for three years. — You had longed for an opportunity to get back at him for all the shit he caused you through freshman and junior year; and finally, the universe presented you with one. 

You glance over at him, it would merely take a small raise of your heel for your eyes to become leveled perfectly with his. Without that tall friend of his, looming behind his back, or Yeonjun’s authoritative status, Choi Beomgyu was really nothing. — That didn’t change the fact that you absolutely loathed him. And you would be sure to have him know. 

“Why, has something interesting caught your ears?” You drawl, feeling the grin on your lips threatening to bloom into a smirk. Beomgyu’s face morphs into a scowl, undoubtedly familiar with the rumors of him you’d conducted during the past weeks. — “You must think you’re so smart, sitting on your ass all day and spewing nonsense”, he grits as he takes a charging step forward, chest colliding with yours and you almost stumble backward. 

It takes some effort but you manage to remain fairly unfazed as you eye him with indifference. It only serves to make him angrier. Beomgyu was like an open book, a book in which you only had to read the paragraph on the very back to understand exactly how it would end. He was predictable, and without his friends, he was an easy target for someone who’d been studying him for so long. 

“I do”, you chirp, hands clasping behind your back as you sway on the spot. Beomgyu scoffs, giving a small roll of his eyes before his firing gaze centers on you again. “Just stay out of my way.” — His attention drops to the uniform you wore, the one school handed out at the beginning of each year, much different from the designer one he had tailored each semester. It was subtle, but different, and Beomgyu’s grin widened as his eyes raked across your worn out shoes and old bag. “Think you’ve got other things to worry ‘bout.” 

Without another word, he continues down the hallway, though not before giving your shoulder a harsh shove. — Your lip twitches into an uncomfortable grimace and with a small huff you readjust your backpack. Fucking asshole. Your tongue prods against your teeth, tsking slightly as you watch him disappear. 

⸝⸝ 

“Oh come on, do you really think it’s that bad of an idea?” You whine as your cheek rests against your forearm, eyes trained on the words being written out on the paper before you. — “I do”, Taehyun states without lifting his pencil from the sheet, brows slightly furrowed as he focuses on his work. 

With a small huff you peer up at him, the glasses on the bridge of his nose are crooked and you resist the urge to snatch them from his face. “And what does Mr. Class President presume I should do then?” You sarcastically wonder; though the question makes him raise a disbelieving brow as he glances toward you. “I suggest you stay out of trouble.” — Just as you open your mouth in objection, does he cut you off; “and not spread rumors about him.” 

Your expression contorts into one of disagreement but you remain silent. In a way, you suppose you should feel thankful for him. Taehyun was your only friend, if friends were even what one could call you. — The mutual acquaintanceship consisted of you sharing the latest events of your quite dull life, recapping the drama you’d picked up on your way to the school cafeteria, and most importantly; Choi Beomgyu. 

Though he was originally opposed to the friendship, Taehyun had begrudgingly come to accept your persistent presence as you lingered by his desk between classes. And by your senior year, he knew everything that was to know about Beomgyu and why you so loathed him. — “Shouldn’t you let go of him? We’re about to graduate next year”, he states, his voice monotone as always but you could clearly decipher a hint of pleading as he urged for you to stop fawning over the guy. 

“Let go?” You scoff, sitting up a bit straighter as you eye him with a frown, “I do not need to ‘let go’, I need revenge, besides, Christmas break is coming up, I need to act fast.” — Seemingly unimpressed by your enthusiasm, Taehyun merely shakes his head as his focus returns to the piece of paper in front of him, scribbling down a few lines before he sighs; “and how exactly do you plan on doing that?” 

The way your face lit up was unmistakable and you could practically see him regret his words as you shuffled closer. “Well, I happen to have a plan–” But before you can finish, the classroom door swings open and your professor enters. With a small scowl, you lean back in your chair as Taehyun immediately disregards you, turning his full attention to the lecture about to take place. Jeez, what a try-hard.

History was far from your favorite, but the mention of a group project sparked your interest. Your professor was old, a tall and lanky man, and as he announced the presentation you were to hold regarding a historic event, the class groaned. — Immediately turning to Taehyun with hopeful eyes, you’re met with a small glare before he sighs and nods, announcing that the two of you could partner up. With delight you open your mouth to thank him when your history teacher’s raspy voice suddenly interrupts you. 

“Though seeing as your parallel class is taking the very same course, I thought it’d be a good idea to merge the two of you. – It’ll save me some time when grading as well”, he huffs as a small grin tugs at his wrinkled lips. — It doesn’t take long for the room to be drowned in a chaotic murmur. Your brows pull together in a confused frown and you twist in your seat, ��what’s that supposed to mean?” — Taehyun merely shrugs as his eyes flicker between you and your professor by the board, and for once he seemed equally lost. 

A quiet cough makes your gaze snap back to your old teacher as he rummages through his bag for a small piece of paper. “Now I know you aren’t too acquainted with the other class, so I’ve taken the liberty of pre-arranging partners for you.” His statement is met with another wave of complaints and displeased groans as students leaned back in their chairs and shook their heads. 

“Wait, does this mean we won’t get to work together?” You wonder to which Taehyun gives a small nod, “most likely.” — You felt your heart drop at least ten floors as you watched your old teacher fasten the small piece of paper to the board. The sound of chairs scraping against the hard floor fills the classroom as everyone scurries toward the front, eager to see who they’d been partnered up with. 

Without thinking you, too, rise from your desk as you pull Taehyun by his arm, yanking him toward the board. It takes a few shoves to get through the crowd that had formed, but soon enough, you’re standing in front of the list. — Your eyes fervently scan the names, going over the rows at least twice before you find yours. It was as if all air had been sucked from your lungs, your throat uncomfortably dry as you eye the jagged scribbles. Next to your own name was ‘Choi Beomgyu’. 

Behind you, Taehyun lets out a short huff, his lips pulling into a menacing smirk as he eyes your expression. — “Was this also part of your ‘plan’?” 

⸝⸝

“I’m doomed!” You exclaim, hands feverishly tugging at your hair as you cling onto Taehyun’s shoulder. Met with a shrug from your friend who trudges forward, you pout, jutting your chin out as you whine in his ear. “What do I do?” — Taehyun sighs, pushing his glasses further up on his nose as his eyes scan the nearly empty hallway. “This is exactly why you shouldn’t have gotten on his bad side”, he scolds and you huff. 

“Come on now”, you mutter as you release your grip on him, “a rumor here and there has never hurt anyone.” — “Besides, aren’t you supposed to be taking my side?” You finish with a small frown, the crease on your forehead only deepening when he doesn’t say anything. “You told everyone that he threw up in one of the school bathrooms”, he then states and you snort, a small grin seeping onto your face. “So? He might’ve.” 

Taehyun shakes his head, “my point is, you’re already off to a bad start.” — His statement makes you slow down, the shift in your pace causing him to nearly stop as Taehyun turns to you with a confused look. “You’re talking as if I’m the one who should watch myself. – Tae, he’s an asshole, if anything, he should feel ashamed.” 

Your friend bites his lip as his gaze flits between the floor to the books in his hands, and you wondered if you had said something wrong. Choi Beomgyu had earned himself quite the infamous reputation at your college along with the other Choi’s, everyone knew that they were bad news, so why did no one speak against it? — Why did Taehyun cower at the name? 

You couldn’t possibly understand their unreasonable fear. 

But you don’t have to ponder for long, because mere moments later, an all too familiar voice calls out. — “Hey, class president!” Beomgyu’s nasty drawl echoes off the desolate walls as he nears you. His hands are shoved in the pockets of his expensive uniform, and he walks with an allude of confidence. 

Upon hearing his name called, Taehyun freezes beside you as he hesitantly turns to face the source of the voice. Stopping mere inches from your friend, Beomgyu leans forward with a smug smirk and Taehyun hastily blinks under his glasses. You watch their small exchange with a puzzled expression. — “You got my essay?” Beomgyu asks as he quirks a brow in the shorter male's direction. His essay? 

Taehyun nods as he reaches for the bag swung over his shoulder, undoing the zipper as he rummages through its contents. Beomgyu watches him with a look of nonchalance, seemingly unaware of your presence as he focuses on your friend before him. — “Here”, Taehyun murmurs as he hands him at least four pages worth of paper, neatly stapled together. 

Beomgyu scans through it leisurely before giving Taehyun’s shoulder a harsh pat, making the shorter wince. “What’s the meaning of this?” You spit, unable to help yourself as you witnessed the person you so loathed go after your only friend like that. Finally, he seems to acknowledge you as Beomgyu’s eyes snap in your direction, his hand falling from Taehyun’s shoulder as his face contorts into a small scowl. 

Despite the lack of his friends, he still made do with the reputation he had left. Your rumors seemed to have made an insignificant dent in the power he held. But…Taehyun? Of all people, he wouldn’t possibly… Your gaze flits down to the essay in Beomgyu’s hand and over to your friend who avoided your gaze as he urged for you to come with him without causing a bigger scene. 

“Why don’t you stay out of my business.” Beomgyu sneers as he eyes you with distaste. “Business? You call this business?” You frown as you shrug Taehyun’s hands from your arm, stepping between your friend and the menace before him. — Your nose could practically graze his as you let out a short breath of air, meeting his furious gaze with one of your own. 

“Bullying people into doing your work? How do you expect to make it outside of college?” The comment makes his already angered expression flare up and you catch his hands curling into fists by his sides. — “Worry ‘bout yourself won’t you?” he scoffs, ready to push past you.. until your next words catch him off guard. 

“Well that’s going to be difficult, seeing as we’re partners now.” 

He stops, dark eyes snapping back to yours within milliseconds and you feel Taehyun’s hand urgently tug at your arm as he silently pleads for you to back down. — “What?” The word comes out as a mere hiss and you can’t help but feel a triumphant grin pull at the corner of your lips. Ah, so he didn’t know yet. 

“Haven’t you heard?” — You let your head fall to the side, an amused expression flashing across your features as you take in his puzzled and angered state, so predictable. “Mr. Brown’s class, the history project, we’re partners, you and me.” The dread that had previously consumed you seemed minimal when you with satisfaction watched Beomgyu’s face practically explode in a multitude of enraged questions; none of which you were planning on answering. 

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” He spits, a look of disbelief presenting itself across his otherwise arrogant face. You shrug, letting Taehyun pull you back as you send him a small wave, “that we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other I suppose.” — Before you can get another word out, your friend has pulled you down the hall in a most hurried manner; scurrying to get away from Beomgyu's piercing gaze as he leans against the wall with a small huff, eyeing you with a mixture of fury and intrigue. 

“What the hell was that?” Taehyun grumbles as he drags you along, walking with determined strides. You merely roll your eyes as you let yourself be swayed down the long corridors. — “I should be asking you that”, you counter, still not over the fact that he had written an entire essay for the scumbag. 

Not late to catch on, Taehyun bites the inside of his cheek as he fiddles with the glasses on his nose. “Nothing you should worry about”, he mutters, intent on disregarding any further questions. “Nothing I should worry about? What are you, his slave?” — “Don’t say it like that”, he groans and you frown, stopping completely as you break yourself free from his grasp. 

With an exasperated sigh, Taehyun turns to you as he runs a hand through his short hair. “Listen, it was a one time thing and..” — “That’s how it always starts”, you huff, rolling your eyes as you shake your head. “Soon he’ll be asking you to write his exams for him as well”, you exclaim, throwing an accusing finger down the hall. 

But Taehyun only shakes his head as he waves his hands in front of him in denial. “I’m just helping him out..!” — Your gaze narrows down on your friend, helping him out? Sure Taehyun was many things, friendly? – was not one of them. And to think that he was willingly helping one of the Choi’s with something so trivial… 

“Does he have something on you?” You ask, watching as Taehyun’s eyes widened, “is that why you’re slaving away like this?” — “No I..” He begins but quickly seals his lips in a tight grimace, “you don’t understand.” Like hell you didn’t. Why on earth would anyone stoop to such a level. For over two years you had watched as the Choi’s ruled your school, and to say that you were sick of it would be an understatement. 

Perhaps your hatred for the small trio was rooted deeper than your peers. Especially your hatred for Choi Beomgyu. — Because you hadn’t always hated him, in fact, at one point, you think you might’ve even liked him. 

⸝⸝ 

“Hey, is this seat taken?” 

The voice is warm, kind and friendly. It makes you blink as you tear your gaze from the small pile of nail polish that had accumulated on your desk, your nervous habit of picking at the paint evident. — First day of freshman year, first day of college, that had been the day. 

With a small nod, you motion toward the chair next to your own. He takes the seat, grinning from ear to ear as he studies you with curiosity. “Nervous?” He wonders as he tilts his head to the side. “Yeah..” Your quiet whisper is near inaudible but he still seems to pick up on it as his lips stretch further. “Me too”, he says and you can’t help but frown, he didn’t look nervous in the slightest as he comfortably leaned back in his chair, fiddling with the collar of his shirt leisurely. 

He was way out of your league. — Yet he reaches a hand out, eyes darting from yours and down to your own intertwined fingers. His palm is soft and warm against yours, his grip unwavering as he shakes your hand. “I’m Beomgyu, Choi Beomgyu”, he smiles, it’s a kind smile, and your heart flutters at the sight. 

Choi Beomgyu. What a pretty name. 

You spend your first week with him, it was nice to have someone you could call a friend. Someone who made you feel less alone, and Beomgyu did, the two of you were friends, you think. 

You ate lunch together… 

“Tofu’s the best when grilled”, Beomgyu hums as he shoves a forkful in his mouth, barely swallowing as he loads yet another one. You giggled as your gaze returned to your own plate, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. The cafeteria was both crowded and loud, you had dreaded the days you would spend alone in here. 

But as Beomgyu found a nice and secluded table for the two of you, even pulling your chair out with an over exaggerated bow to which you rolled your eyes, you felt hopeful. — Perhaps college wouldn’t be so bad after all. 

And you studied after school…

“If 9 is the value of ‘x’ then all we have to do is replace the variables with such”, you say as you scribble across his notebook. Beomgyu’s frown was nearly dented into his forehead, his bottom lip caught between his teeth in concentration. “But how does nine become ‘x’? Isn’t nine a number and ‘x’ a letter?”He wonders to which you shake your head. 

“Not in this case”, you state before drawing a small ‘x = 9’. Scratching the back of his neck dumbfoundedly, Beomgyu gives a deflated sigh as he slumps against his chair. — “I’m never graduating.” 

You even saw one another outside of school…though only once.. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been here..” You quietly mumble, eyes flitting across the expensive looking furniture. The restaurant was small but reeked of wealth, the meals here were surely out of your budget but Beomgyu had insisted on you joining him one friday evening. — “What?” He exclaims in bewilderment, “Are you kidding? This is the best place in town!” 

True to his word, he paid for your meal, not hearing you out on trying to pay him back in the near future. — “Spending time with you is more than enough”, he says as a matter-of-factly, arm wrapping around your shoulders as you walk down the empty streets. 

Not to forget that one time he’d asked for your number… 

“I mean it’s just… I think you’re cool and..” He clears his throat, sending you a sheepish smile before continuing. “Just y’know, for staying in touch and things..” — The timidness of his request made your heart flutter as a grin spread across your lips. 

“Of course I’ll give you my number, silly!” 

The relief immediately flooding his face was palpable as he sighs, eagerly fishing his phone up for you to put the digits in. He made sure to add a pink heart next to your name, promising to be at your every beck and call should you ever need him. 

It was friendship, right? 

Doing stuff together, noticing things about each other, like the cute little mole on his left cheek, accentuating his already endearing grin. Or his habit of pushing his hair from his face with the help of his pinky, carefully touching up the dark strands, almost absentmindedly. 

You wondered if Beomgyu noticed things about you too. Did he see things you didn’t, and did he like them? Did he like you? Perhaps you would’ve gotten answers to all of those questions, had things turned out differently. 

It was inevitable, of course, you were all enrolled in the same class after all, they were bound to bump into one another soon enough. But things changed when Beomgyu met Choi Yeonjun, changed for the worse. And it didn’t take long for him to become someone completely different, someone unrecognizable. 

Slowly he stopped showing up to your study sessions. More often he’d make excuses to not walk you to class. You began eating lunch alone, and before you knew it, Beomgyu was no longer part of your life. — Except he was, just as someone else. Someone cruel, someone who didn't care about what others felt, someone who only lived to make others suffer. 

His new friends were no different, and together they earned themselves an infamous reputation as the school’s bullies. It hurt. Seeing them act so nonchalantly when toying with others, with people who’d done nothing to upset them. — And as you catch him in the hallway one day, a much smaller student hoisted up by the collar of his shirt, Beomgyu’s grip unwavering as he spits insults in the younger’s face. 

It was then you grew to loathe Choi Beomgyu. 

⸝⸝ 

Your finger hovers over the block button as you lay in bed that night. Back then, just as you applied to switch classes, as you tried to get as far away from him as possible, you had rid yourself of his number too. Part of you thinks you should’ve deleted the old chats along with blocking him, but something held you back. It felt…oddly comforting, re-reading the old messages between the two of you, a glimmer of what you’d once had, of what he’d once been. How pathetic. 

With a small groan you let your phone fall down onto the mattress next to you, shifting to lay on your side as you prepare to let sleep overtake you. He would have to bring it up, because there was no way in hell that you were unblocking and texting first. — “Fucking piece of shit”, you tiredly murmur, letting yourself fall into a very uncomfortable slumber, plagued by the thoughts of your upcoming weeks. 

Beomgyu did not text you first. In fact he didn’t text you at all. The whole weekend goes by, and not a single word. Taehyun on the other hand, had been paired up with some stuck up bitch, he’d told you her name, something on M…M, M, M… Ah yes, Mimi. She’d dated one of the Choi’s, until he left her for that shy nerd, served her right. — But even the two of them had already gotten together to get working on their presentation. 

You had until Christmas break, but that was a mere three weeks away, and at this rate, you’d be lucky to get done by graduation. — Finally, your gloomy reality sets in, and you heave a loud sigh as you drag yourself down the hallway. History classes had become optional, and without your partner, there was little to be done. You spend the hour roaming the third and second floor, sneakers squeaking against the uneven tiles. 

Upon passing that one peculiar little red door, your ears are met with the muffled sounds of what could only be someone getting their guts absolutely plowed. Your nose wrinkles in disgust, ‘room 291’, you could only imagine how many girls had lost their virginity in there. — Shaking your head, your gaze returns forward, but instead of continuing your eternal journey down the long corridors, you freeze. 

The object of your affection was standing right there. You thought he’d skipped. Anything to avoid the project at hand you’d supposed. But Beomgyu’s eyes meet yours, and though he’s all the way down the hall, you still catch the disgust lingering in them. His lip twitches, jaw clenching for a split second, and then he’s turned on his heel, marching down the hallway faster than you could blink. 

You scramble to catch up, upping your pace to a light jog as you call for him. “Hey asshole!” But he isn’t listening, nor is he stopping. In fact…Was he walking even faster? What a dick. “Hey wait up!” Fuck, was he really going to make you chase after him? How immature. — Thankfully having made the girl’s football team in seventh grade seemed to have paid off, and you managed to reach him soon enough. 

Fingers clasping around his forearm, you yank him backward, making him spin around on the spot as he collides with you. The crash makes you wince and you retreat, blinking to regain focus before turning your attention to him. Beomgyu was already watching you, his lips curled into a nasty scowl as his brows furrowed. “What?” He spits, his voice barely above a hiss.

Suddenly, you realize just how close the two of you were standing, chests nearly grazing one another, and the scent of his cologne invades your senses; it was the same one he’d worn for all of college, at least that hadn’t changed. — You clear your throat, quickly scanning the empty hallway before you turn to him, plastering on the sternest of expression you could muster. “The project”, you say, subtly straightening your back. Beomgyu raises a questioning brow as his hands dig into the pockets of his uniform.

You frown, and only when you add the word “history” does he seem to catch on. “Oh yeah, that one”, his features relax, lips pulling into a small grin, “how’s it coming along?” Your mouth opens and closes again. “Excuse me?” You huff, the anger in your words palpable. Still running with his act of obliviousness, Beomgyu shrugs, it was clear that he enjoyed the easy rise he was getting out of you. How you would practically explode over his mere existence. You think he liked making you like that, perhaps it made him feel in control. 

Well he wasn’t. Not anymore. 

“It’s a group project”, you state, folding your arms across your chest, “there’s no way I’m doing this alone.” — Beomgyu looks almost as if he's considering your words, his lips pursed and head tilted to the side. “So ask your little friend to tag along, I’m sure he’d be more than happy to”, he jeers, flashing you a nasty smirk. Was he talking about Taehyun? Your Taehyun. The same Taehyun that he’d made write his essay. 

Your feet move on their own as you take a quick step forward, jabbing an accusing finger to his chest and Beomgyu’s face contorts into a small scowl at the action. “You’re hilarious if you honestly think I’d let you off the hook this easy, that I’d just let you sit back and take credit for my hard work.” You move to shove him backward but his hand is already clasped around your wrist, restraining any movement. 

“Get your fucking hands off of me”, he spits, yanking you from his chest with a force that was near bruising. — “Why? Scared that I’ll dirty your expensive attire with my grimy hands?” You retort as you gesture toward his clothes. Beomgyu sneers as he shakes his head, his long hair falling in front of his face before he pushes it back again. “You’ve already tarnished my reputation with that dirty mouth of yours”, he barks, eyes flickering with malice, “got nothin’ better to do than spreading shit about me, do you?” 

He shifts on the spot, his gaze wandering down the hall briefly, as if checking for witnesses before his attention returns to you. “I’m not stupid, I know it’s you, and I know you’re behind this whole group project too.” — Woah there, way to get ahead of himself. You scoff, arms falling to your sides as you regard him with disbelief. “You think I set this up on purpose? As if I’d want to be anywhere near you-”

 “Well you sure act like it”, he cuts you off, gesturing toward the two of you and the empty hallway you were currently occupying. “Chasing after me like this, trying to get me alone, and the rumors”, his face flashes with something akin to contempt, a spark of his usually crude and mean demeanor simmering through his facade of hate. “I mean come on, it’s obvious.” 

Your jaw could practically sweep the floor at this rate and you almost wanted to laugh at the near comical situation. “Whatever it is you’re implying, I can assure you, you’re way off”, you huff, quick to defend yourself. His fingers are still locked around your wrist, an almost tingling sensation spreading through your arm. Upon trying to tug yourself free from his grasp, Beomgyu’s hand only tightens around yours, dark eyes boring into your own as he scoffs: “Cut the crap. You’ve been chasing after me for years.” 

The blunt accusation makes you pause, and for a moment every single comprehensive thought completely evaporates from your head. Chasing after him? No. You’d been trying to make his life a living hell, so what if that included knowing his entire schedule and who he hung out with? It was all part of a much bigger picture, a picture his tiny brain failed to comprehend. — But then again, Beomgyu had always had an ego made out of steel. It wouldn’t be the first time he would twist and turn a situation entirely in his favor. 

“What’s it that loser friend of yours said? To let me go?” He chuckles, warm breath hitting your already flaring face. How did he know about that? Just how much had Taehyun told him when doing his essay? — Your usually sharp mind can’t seem to conjure a single witty remark, and you’re left biting the inside of your cheek as you send him a bitter glare. 

His hand lets go of your wrist, and Beomgyu takes a step back. “Perhaps you should listen to Mr. Class Pres, it might do you good.” With a final cruel smirk, he shoves past you, shoulder slamming against yours as he ventures down the hallway with his hands leisurely stuffed into his pockets. 

You want to scream, throw something at him, possibly advocate for murder, but you do nothing, nothing but watch his retreating figure as he disappears down the corridor. Fucking asshole. 

⸝⸝

That night left you in a flammable state. Anger gnawed at your very being as you paced the small space of your dormitory. Who was he to speak to you like that? And how would you ever make this project work? Talking to him was useless, a complete and utter waste of time. — Then it hits you. Like a small lightbulb being turned on over your head. Talking to him was pointless, you knew that. But what if you just didn’t speak? 

The cafeteria is as packed as it could get that following Tuesday, and you have to paddle through the large ocean of students, all eager to find an empty seat. You, on the other hand, couldn’t care less for today’s plain lunch menu, and instead of searching a clear table, your eyes scan for the most crowded one. 

It doesn’t take long for you to spot him. Surrounded by a heap of what you could only assume to be acquaintances, Beomgyu sits perched on a table in the center of the room. Conversation flows around him but his gaze is glued to his phone in his hand, mindlessly swiping across the screen in a bored manner. You wondered if he even knew the names of those surrounding him. You guessed not. Beomgyu had a.. unique way of making friends, if friends were even what they were. They looked more like tokens, perhaps he used them to appear less alone. 

His attention suddenly shifts from the device in his hands and you follow its direction, eventually landing on a table not far from his. — Occupied sparsely by a mere three students, three students whom you easily recognized. Choi Yeonjun leans forward, his arm wrapped around a girl you recognized as his girlfriend. He looks to be in deep conversation with the third of their small party, Choi Soobin. 

They used to be friends, Beomgyu and them. You remember it clearly. The harsh words, the glares, the distaste on their faces whenever they passed you by in the hallway. But something had obviously happened, a small rift in an otherwise unbreakable circle. And you’re not late to pick up on the way Beomgyu continues to glance their way, even when surrounded by at least a dozen others. You recognize the look in his eyes, the longing. It was the same way you’d been looking at him for the past two years. 

Perhaps he had a weakness after all. 

Your fist slams against the firm surface of his table, making everyone around you snap their heads in your direction. Their eyes boring into you suddenly made you waver, but you shake it off, turning your attention to your target, now only inches from yourself. — Beomgyu glances up from his phone, brows immediately furrowing as his lips part. Surely he had an insult waiting on his tongue, but you cut to the chase by shoving a small piece of paper in his free hand. 

His confused gaze flickers down to the note as he begins unwrapping it, only to be stopped by your hand on his as you shake your head. You mouth the words “not here”, and he scoffs, though shoving the paper in his pocket. — His token friends all burst out into “oooo”s as they wiggle their eyebrows suggestively. 

Beomgyu pays them little mind as he rolls his eyes, instead he watches your retreating figure as you push past the crowd in which you had emerged from. A subtle smirk playing on his lips as he mindlessly fiddles with the note in his pocket. 

⸝⸝

You had no idea if your plan was even going to work. Would he show up? Or had he thrown the paper in the trash at the first opportunity he got? — Running a frustrated hand through your hair, you sigh, casting a quick glance at the time on your phone, 5:27 pm. He still had three minutes. 

Gnawing on the inside of your cheek, you start to reconsider the choice of bringing him to your dorm room, was it really such a good idea? Though it was hardly like he’d show up anywhere in public with you. This was your best bet, you think.. 

The minutes tick by and your anxiety levels only rise, heart hammering in your chest as you pace the small space of your dormitory. By 5:47 you realized that he was a no-show. A weird mixture of disappointed relief floods you, it’s strange, you had expected the disappointment but why did you feel relieved? Did the idea of spending time alone with him scare you? No. That was impossible. 

Flopping down onto your bed, you emit a small sigh, letting your eyes flutter closed as you replay today’s scenario in your head. Scared? What a joke, Beomgyu didn’t scare you, he was nothing but an immature, selfish, rude piece of–

Knock knock. 

Your body jolts forward, flying off the bed like a deer in headlight as your head snaps in the direction of your door. He came? He actually came. You didn’t know whether to cry or laugh as you gingerly got up. — As you head for the door, you stop by the small mirror by your clothes drawer to check your reflection. Quickly running a hand through your hair, your eyes scan for a lip balm. You catch yourself mid-act, almost cringing at the way you tried to appear presentable. What the fuck were you doing?

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you twist the handle as the door glides open, revealing no other than Choi Beomgyu on the other side. He’s still wearing his school uniform, and his gaze quickly lands on the loose t-shirt and plain sweatpants you’re dressed in, a glimmer of distaste overshadowing his otherwise expressionless face. You ignore the silent insult as you clear your throat, “You’re late.” 

Beomgyu scoffs, his eyes darting down the hall either side of him before pushing past you as he steps inside. “You’re gonna nag me about that too?” He drawls, hands digging into his pockets as he saunters about, taking in the small space you resided in. You notice that he hasn’t brought along any study materials, and you internally groan. “Yes, I am. If this is going to work out then we’re going to have to work together”, you state, folding your arms across your chest as if to prove your point. 

Your partner merely hums as he fiddles with the papers scattered across your desk. “Cute room you’ve got”, he comments as he points to the entirety of your dorm. Your jaw slacks as you blink dumbfoundedly. Did he just give you a compliment? No, you catch the smugness in his voice, and the small glimpse of a smirk as he turns back to your desk. Asshole. 

“I’m serious”, you huff, “this project is important to me, we need to do well on it.” One thing you couldn’t afford to screw up were your grades. Not that they were anything spectacular of the sort, in fact you were flunking French. But as long as you did well in a few of your best subjects… History being one of them. 

Shoving the pen he was previously twirling between his fingers back into its container, Beomgyu turns to you with a sneer. “If it’s so important then I reckon you’d do better by yourself, I might just slow you down.” He regards you with an apathetic expression, almost as if he was waiting for you to snap, to lash out on him and to yell. You suppose it must surprise him when you instead only shake your head, dragging yourself over to your bed as you flop down with a heavy thud. 

“Let’s just get started”, you mutter, pulling your computer out as you power it on. Beomgyu cocks an eyebrow in your direction but doesn’t say anything as he leans onto your desk, hands returning to their default position in his pockets. — “How about one of us gathers information and the other one writes it down onto a powerpoint?” you suggest. He looks to be considering your words as he scratches his chin thoughtfully. 

“Fairs.” He shrugs as he pushes himself off the table and before you know it, the mattress dips next to you as he sits down. Your whole body tenses up, your eyes remaining glued to the computer screen in front of you as you avoid as much as peeking his way. You weren’t scared of him. But a part of you felt so oddly on-edge whenever he was around, you couldn’t quite place the feeling. 

His body radiates warmth, a warmth that spreads over to your own, a bead of sweat accumulating on your forehead as you swallow. You weren’t scared of him so why did your heart feel like it was going to beat out of your chest? — The smell of his expensive cologne, usually sickly strong as it tickles your nose, now only feels nostalgic as you breathe in. He’s so close that your hands are on the verge of touching, his pinky inches from yours. 

Beomgyu on the other hand seems unfazed as he peers over at your screen. “I’ll do the research part”, he states as he leans back against the headboard, “sounds less demanding.” You silently exhale in relief as he creates a safe radius of distance between the two of you, nodding as you hum in response. 

The two of you work like that, side by side in silence for a good while. At first you’re so engrossed in your work, doing anything to distract yourself from the fact that Beomgyu was quite literally less than three inches away, on your bed, in your dorm. But as time goes by, you finally dare to tear your gaze from the screen in front of you, and sneak a small peek at him. 

It felt almost surreal. Two years of being strangers in the halls, two years of constant insults, two years of hatred. Yet here he was, so close to you, just like he had been before everything changed, before he changed. 

But now, the two of you were doing something so mundane together. 

Your gaze lingers on him, even though it probably shouldn’t. But you can’t help the way your eyes trail across his seemingly relaxed expression. From the small, almost unnoticeable, furrow of his brows, the subtle pout of his bottom lip and the natural flush of his cheeks. Your attention strays by his dark eyes as they move along the words on his screen when reads. If you tried really hard, you might’ve been able to forget about everything that had happened, if only for a few minutes. 

Maybe. Just maybe. 

Suddenly, you want to reach out and touch him. To run your fingers through his long and unkempt hair, feel the skin of his hand in yours. And you almost do. Until you remember. — Things weren’t like that anymore, they hadn’t been for over two years. You almost recoil at the slip of your thoughts; for having allowed yourself to fantasize like that when reality was far from it. The Beomgyu before you wasn’t the Beomgyu you knew back then. No. You didn’t know this Beomgyu, and it’s with a bittersweet taste in your mouth that you accept said fact. 

You think half an hour might’ve passed when you notice that something’s off. Thirty minutes of radio silence from his otherwise enthusiastic mouth. And as you peer over your shoulder, you find him leisurely swiping across his screen, eyes glued to something that looked far from the information he was supposed to gather. — “What’re you doing?” The question slips from your lips without you actually thinking it through. Beomgyu’s head turns in your direction and he watches you with an expression that said, ‘what the fuck does it look like I’m doing?’

“I thought we agreed on working on the project”, you say as you point a finger toward your open laptop. Beomgyu merely shrugs, his eyes flitting back to the phone in his hand. “I’ve done my part”, he sighs and your brows knit together in confusion. A small tap of your finger leads you to the first slide of your powerpoint, in which he’d copied and pasted in what could only be pages worth of information. 

Seemingly noting your flabbergast expression, Beomgyu huffs, “Why, you can’t expect me to seriously read all of that?” — “So you’re saying we should just cheat our way through it?” The disbelief in your voice is palpable but he doesn’t seem to pick up on it as he gives a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. “It’s not cheating. The information is out there to be used, doesn’t say how to use it”, he states. You have to bite your tongue in order to not let your words slip as you stare back at the computer screen with a puzzled face. 

He did have somewhat of a point. But you’d rather die than admit that. Besides, his ways would surely land you a ‘barely passed’ at most. And you wouldn’t have that. — Grumbling out a quiet, “whatever”, you turn back to the powerpoint as you begin sorting through the paragraphs pasted in there. You quickly become immersed in your work, and fail to notice how Beomgyu discards his phone on the bed as he glances around your room with curious eyes. 

You swallow a groan as you re-read the same paragraph for a third time, seemingly unable to focus with him around. Perhaps he was right, perhaps you should’ve just bit into the lemon and done this project on your own. — “Fuck, you kept this?” Beomgyu’s almost taunting voice snaps you from the text you were so close to giving up on, and you turn to him with a confused frown. 

Though your eyes quickly widened as they landed on the bracelet Beomgyu was holding between two fingers. Suddenly your heart is racing and your breaths are coming in short. The already thick air feels even heavier and you emit a shaky exhale. The brown leather, interlaced with streaks of blue, immediately sends your mind to places you hadn’t allowed it to wander for nearly two years..

⸝⸝

“A friendship bracelet?” you question as you eye the small piece Beomgyu had just handed you. The fine leather felt expensive and you wondered just how much he’d spent on this. It was braided together with a thinner blue thread, the cold shade a stark contrast to the warm brown leather, and your thumb slowly traces its outline as you bring it to your face. 

Beomgyu coughs into his hand, shaking his head as he rocks back and forth on the sole of his shoes. “When you put it like that it sounds childish”, he mutters, the tip of his ears radiating a warm pink and you feel your lips tug into a grin at the sight. — “It’s more like..” He hesitates, biting the inside of his cheek as his gaze strays by the bracelet in your hands: 

“Like a piece of me.” 

Your eyes widen when he suddenly takes a step forward, reaching for the accessory as he plucks it from your fingers. “So that, in a way, I’ll always be with you”, he says as he wraps the leather around your wrist. — It’s impossible to refrain from smiling and your cheeks heat up as he carefully fastens the bracelet around your arm. — Then your curious eyes suddenly fall on the leather around his own wrist, a darker and cooler brown intertwined with a warm red. 

A weird and tingly sensation spreads throughout your stomach as you swallow. And before Beomgyu can withdraw his hand again, do you stop him, fingers clasping around his wrists as you bring them together. — The blues and the reds, they remind you of the friendship necklaces you wore back in elementary school. Two halves of a heart, a childish but sweet promise to be what makes the other one whole. 

Was it childish? Probably. But it was Beomgyu, and you found that you did not care for such matters when he was around. In fact, you think you might even like it. — No, you did like it. You liked everything Beomgyu did, you liked everything about him. And though you were too shy to even admit it to yourself, you probably liked him too. 

“It’s okay right?” 

His sudden question snaps you from your train of thought and you blink as your gaze returns to his warm eyes. He looks…nervous? You’d never seen him like that. Beomgyu was always so adamantly prideful, and you don’t think you’d ever seen him waver. But you decide that you like this side of him too, the bashful and almost cute one. 

“I love it.” And you do, you really do. You love it so much that you keep it even when he stops wearing his. Even when he no longer represented your other half. You keep it for two years, tucked inside the top drawer of your bedside table where it resides, waiting for the day where you might finally be able to look at it without bursting into tears. 

⸝⸝

“Where did you get that?” Your tone is harsh and snappy but it barely makes him flinch as Beomgyu leisurely twirls the bracelet between two fingers. — You reach for it, but you’re too slow, and can only helplessly watch as his whole fist envelops the leather. “I expected a lot from you, granted that you’re still running your mouth about me and all”, Beomgyu drawls as he leans back against the pillows. “But you even kept this piece of shit?” — “I mean come on, it’s pathetic.” 

His words stung. Pathetic? Did he really think of your time together as that? Did he think of you as that? Of course he did, you idiot, get that through your thick skull. You hate Beomgyu. One half-successful study session in the privacy of your dorm didn’t change that and it never would. 

He probably threw his out, it would make the most sense if he did. Perhaps you should’ve too. You switched classes, blocked his number, and avoided him as best as you could in the halls. So why had you kept that? Why did you cling to something so insignificant? Why did it bring you comfort to feel the cool leather against your palm? 

“Just give it back”, you groan as you meekly try and pry his closed fist open. Beomgyu looks as if he’s going to put up a fight, say something nasty back, but he doesn’t. Instead he lets you untangle the bracelet from his fingers, watching as you snatch it back before throwing it on your bedside table once more.  — An uncomfortable silence falls over the two of you, weighing down like dark clouds on a previously sunny day. You wait for him to say something, but he never does. He only watches you with that nearly permanent half-smirk of his, brows tugged slightly upward as his eyes flicker across your flustered frame. 

“I think we’ve done enough for today.” The statement sounds monotone and gray as it falls from your lips. And even now, you expect a reply. Foolishly so, for Beomgyu merely shrugs, swinging his legs over the mattress as he gets up from your bed. — You don’t dare look up as he rounds your bed, your gaze stays by your discarded laptop. The sounds of his footsteps suddenly vanish and you carefully crank your head in the direction of your door. 

With one hand on the handle, Beomgyu looks back at you, his eyes glimmering with something you can’t quite decipher. His lips twitch into a full smirk, and for a moment, you think he might spit another insult on you. He doesn’t. — “See you in class, yeah?” Is all he says before twisting the doorknob and vanishing down the hall. 

And as the door slams shut behind him, you’re left in an unbearable silence. Carefully you reach for the bracelet, only to find it torn in half.  

⸝⸝

Beomgyu shows up to class after that. It takes you by surprise, and apparently everyone else too as heads turn in his direction when he pulls out the chair next to you. And though his work effort is minimal, he’s still there. You hate the satisfied feeling that blooms in your chest at the accomplishment. And you hate the fact that a small part of you has started looking forward to history class. But you would never tell him that, you would never tell anyone that, not even Taehyun… 

“Come on, it’s just one tiny little essay!” You complain in a distraught tone, dramatically kicking at a few stones on the road in front of you. The small rocks clash together as they roll down the gravel pathway that takes you around campus. — Taehyun squints against the bright sun that shone despite the cold December air. He shakes his head, exhaling a small cloud of condensation.  

“It’s less than fourteen days until Christmas break”, he argues as he shoves his hands deep into the pockets of the large coat he wore. “Well that’s exactly why I need your help!” You whine, throwing your frozen hands in the air. — “With everything going on, you know the history project and all, I’m going to seriously flunk French at this point Tae..” You sigh, turning to him with the biggest eyes you could muster as you stick your bottom lip out into a pathetic pout. 

“Please Tae, isn’t that what friends do?” 

Taehyun merely spares you a quick side glance before his focus returns ahead. “You can’t pull the ‘friend card’ whenever you’re falling behind”, he huffs. Biting the inside of your cheek, you think of another way to persuade him. “But if we study together? Then I’m bound to learn!” You suddenly exclaim, causing Taehyun to flinch due to your unanticipated outburst. 

“Fine..” He begrudgingly agrees, though quickly groaning as you wrap your arms around him in a tight hug. “I knew I could count on you!” You cheer before carefully letting him go again. — It’s when you pull back that you notice the figure by the benches a few paces away. You frown, gaze narrowing down on its hunched posture. It was odd for any student to be outside between classes during the cold and harsh winter months, let alone sit perched on one of the usual summer hangout spots. 

“Who’s that?” You question, your footsteps coming to an abrupt halt on the rough gravel. Taehyun groans as he turns to see where you might be looking, a small noise of disapproval passing his lips. “No one important, let’s go back inside”, he says as he pulls you along once more. — But in the bright light of the early afternoon-sun, the black hair atop the lonesome shadow’s head seemed awfully familiar. 

“Is that…Beomgyu?” Your inquiry is met by yet another groan from your friend. Taehyun tsk’s as he shoots a sneer in the direction of the lonely figure. “Wouldn’t that be even more reason to go back inside?” — Despite his greatest efforts, you ignore him as you venture off the small path and over the grass. Taehyun calls out for you, conflicted as his gaze flits between you and the entrance not far away. 

With a small roll of your eyes, you stop to wave him over. But Taehyun promptly shakes his head. “Fine, then go on inside, I’ll be right with you”, you say as you readjust the bag on your shoulder. He looks puzzled for a moment, lips pressed into a thin line as he regards you with a concerned frown. “What are you going to do?” He asks, albeit somewhat hesitant. You merely smile, and though it didn’t quite reach your eyes, Taehyun chooses not to pry further when you say: “I’m just going to ask about the project.” — He gives a curt nod before disappearing down the graveled path, hands still stuffed deep in his pockets.

Your footsteps crunch against the frosty grass and they fill the crisp winter air. The closer you get the more certain you become. It was Beomgyu. Sitting on the wooden table, his feet rest on the accompanied bench. He’s not wearing a jacket, only the blazer he had gotten personally tailored. If he was freezing, he didn’t let on to it as he remained still, his eyes focused on the ground below him. 

The real question was, why was he out here alone? Surely he should be spending the lunch break in the cafeteria with his friends, and not on a cold bench outside in the middle of the winter. — You stop in front of him, so close that your worn out shoes break the circuit of his limited vision. He knows that you’re there, you can tell by the subtle twitch of his jaw, and the way his fingers curl against one another as his hands mold together. 

“Hey.” 

You greet him. It’s polite, and when you think about it, you can’t recall ever uttering the word ‘hello’ to him, not for the past two years at least. It takes him a moment to finally look up, and when he does you immediately notice how sunken his eyes are, the almost grayish color of his cheeks and the pink tint to his nose. — He looked like shit. 

Part of you wants to say something about it, to finally jab back at him for all the crude comments he’d made about you. But you can’t. And suddenly, you don’t know what to say at all. Why had you even approached him in the first place? The two of you hadn’t spoken in private since… Well since the bracelet incident. Thankfully he had yet to bring it up again, but you didn’t know if you could trust him not to. It was already awkward between the two of you. 

Had you just made things worse? 

Beomgyu looks too tired to bite back himself as he lets his gaze leisurely drift across your frame. “What are you doing out here?” — Fuck, that wasn’t the question you were supposed to ask. Fucking idiot. But you couldn’t deny the curiosity that lingered around you. What was he doing out here? 

“That’s none of your business.” He spits, lips curling into a small scowl, but you can tell that it’s taking him a great deal of effort. And for some reason, you care. You hate that you do. Because you should feel anything but concern. You should be celebrating his downfall. This was what you had been waiting for. So why did it feel so bittersweet? 

You think it must have something to do with the afternoon spent on your bed. Almost an hour of complete silence, no bickering, no insults thrown. You blame yourself for getting too caught up in the moment. For letting yourself view him in a different light. — You hate Choi Beomgyu. And he hates you. That’s how it was supposed to be. 

When you don’t reply, he lifts his head once more. His eyes are dark, lifeless. He frowns, and for a second he looks almost irritated. “Why do you even care?” He grunts, a flicker of disgust tracing his features, as if the mere thought of sympathy from you was enough to have him gagging. It was nice. It felt familiar. It felt like the Beomgyu you knew. 

“I don’t.” You simply shrug, letting your bag fall from your shoulder as you heave yourself onto the bench next to him. He doesn’t move, but you can feel his gaze on you as he studies you intently. — You don’t dare look at him, instead you keep your eyes set forward. Despite the cold and chilly temperatures, snow had yet to fall. And the naked trees now only looked dystopian as you glance around the campus grounds. 

“Where are your friends?” You suddenly ask, the question coming out light, just like any other. You don’t expect an answer, not from him. In fact you’d prepared yourself for him to get up and leave. But he doesn’t. — Beomgyu is silent for a second, you hear him draw in a slow breath, holding it for a moment before letting go. “What friends?” He then says, and this time he actually sounds tired. 

Your stomach twists in an uncomfortable way, a way that was nowhere near satisfying. “What about the ones from the cafeteri..” — “Don’t be daft”, he cuts you off, his voice gaining a sudden sting. “You’re not stupid. Don’t pretend that you are. It’s unattractive.” He jeers, fingers twisting against one another, as if he was trying to crawl out of his own skin. 

“Isn’t that why you’re here?” He huffs, shuffling to the side as he creates a cold metaphorical wall of distance between the two of you. “To poke fun at me? To shove it in my face?” He sounds almost distressed, and before you can reply, he turns to you. “You think it hasn’t been already?” — For the first time since you approached, he’s looking entirely at you. And when you return his wide gaze, it feels like you’re looking at a shell of who he used to be. 

You tell yourself that it’s the cold air. That it’s the already depressing surroundings of the dying nature around you. But Beomgyu looks just as malnourished as the trees, as pale as the sky and as beat as the frozen grass you walk on. It was easy to take pity on him like that. It was almost like he was begging for it. Begging for someone to sympathize with him. You can’t imagine that anyone ever did. 

“That’s not why I’m here”, and your statement is true. You don’t know why you’d come here, but you knew that it wasn’t out of malice. Because even if you did hate Choi Beomgyu, you don’t think you could ever say it to his face. — He didn’t know that of course. Part of you wished he did. Beomgyu scoffs, his gaze returning to the frosty ground as he bites the inside of his cheek.

You’re scared that you might pity him forever. That things might never change. That the two of you might just be stuck in an eternal loop of hatred and unspoken feelings. — You don’t know what you want, but you know that it is not that. Perhaps this history project was the start you had been looking for. Maybe… 

“Are you free friday?” 

⸝⸝

Your study sessions became regular after that. Beomgyu appeared to have nothing better to do with his time, and to be frank, neither did you. And though you were far from friendly with one another, none of the insults lingered. You studied in silence, him by your desk and you on your bed, as far away from each other as you could get. It was quiet, so quiet that you sometimes forgot that he was even there, save for the occasional sigh or click of his tongue. 

At first, he would bring his phone, checking it every other second, like he hoped for something, for someone, to be there. But after four days, he stopped. And your curiosity only grew. 

Now a mere week remained until christmas break. You and Beomgyu had been studying together for the past six days, without fail. Your presentation was nearly completed, and part of you thinks this might be amongst your last sessions together, if not your very last. — It felt strange, almost melancholic. Would you miss him? Or would you miss the company? Taehyun was your friend, sure, at least that's what you called him. But as soon as the bell rang, as soon as class ended, it was only you again. 

So was it really so wrong to look forward to a bit of company after school? Even if said company was a grumpy and quiet Beomgyu who did his best in ignoring you whilst he was there. Maybe. — Maybe it was the slight urgency of losing the temporary comfort these quiet hours had provided you that led to the act of stupidity you were about to perform next. 

The sun had set hours ago, casting your room in a dim glow provided by the small lamps on your bedside table and desk. You and Beomgyu had been working quietly for the past while. Now that the information was gathered and all that remained was for you to edit the last paragraphs, he used his time to decorate the powerpoint, adding relevant pictures and messing with the fonts. It wasn’t hard work, but the fact that he did something, made your stomach flutter in an unfamiliar way. 

“Are you busy next week?” You wanted to ask him if he would like to practice the presentation together. But Beomgyu kills your last glimmer of hope with a small huff, “Yeah.” He doesn’t turn to look at you, his eyes steadily fixed on the computer screen in front of him despite the fact that he was now only aimlessly flipping through the slides. 

Biting the inside of your cheek, you refrain from asking if he was busy all week. You would most likely only receive a half-hearted ‘yes’ anyway. Instead your gaze flickers down to your keyboard, your nails quietly tapping against the keys as you think of something to say. Every second spent in his presence only seemed to pull even more questions from your already curious mind. There was so much you wanted to ask him about, even though you knew it wasn’t your place. 

Just let him go. 

You can hear Taehyun’s voice in the back of your head, pleading for you to not pry, to keep your eyes down and mind your business. It wasn’t that easy. He didn’t understand. He didn't know. He didn’t know Beomgyu like you did, like you thought you did. 

“Are you sure you don’t have time to come by and practice?” You can’t stop yourself, the question slips out anyway, and you watch as Beomgyu’s shoulders tense before relaxing again. “I told you I’m busy”, he repeats in the same monotone and tired voice he’d been using for the past week. — “Right…” You hold your tongue, fingers brushing over the keys on your keyboard, hovering above the space button. Your lips part, then they close, and then they part again. 

“Are you meeting Yeonjun?” 

You shouldn’t have asked that, you know it. Yet you did. Perhaps you wanted a reaction from him, perhaps you wanted to hear him raise his voice for the first time in over a week, perhaps you wanted him to get angry, to insult you, because it was the Beomgyu you knew. 

His shoulders go rigid this time, and though you can’t see his expression, you can still catch the twitch of his jaw. He’s stopped swiping through the presentation slides, now stuck on the first one as he gazes ahead. For a minute, everything’s quiet, you think he might not say anything at all. But when he speaks up, he doesn’t raise his voice, instead he lowers it, until it’s nothing but a low drawl of his tongue. 

“You think this is funny?” The cold words send a shiver down your spine, and even though he isn’t looking at you, you felt as if you were being judged under a microscope. “I… I’m sorry..?” You squeak, your voice nearly inaudible but Beomgyu catches it. — He chuckles, pushing his chair back as he turns to you. 

The fiery brown in his eyes is long gone, replaced with an ashy looking color, like he was drained of all life. His lips, usually pulled into either a scowl or a menacing smirk, remain just as unreadable as the rest of his face. — “Do you enjoy this?” He asks, but it hardly sounds like a question. 

You gulp, fingers pressing so hard against the keyboard that you have managed to insert a whole paragraph of nonsense onto the powerpoint. Quietly shaking your head, you think of a way to salvage the toes you’d accidentally stepped on. “No I, I’m sorry…” You swallow once more, “I just…I don’t know what happened between you…I..” 

Beomgyu’s loud scoff cuts you off, and you watch as he gets up from the chair, kicking it back against the desk. With two long strides he reaches you by the edge of the bed. Though he was barely an inch or two taller than yourself, he somehow managed to appear menacing as he loomed over you. “Has it ever crossed your mind that it might not be any of your fucking business?” He says, his tone remaining indifferent as he glares down at you with those empty and dying eyes. 

You bite your tongue, refraining from intervening and saying that practically everyone at school knew it. Though you were sure he already knew that too. — Beomgyu huffs out a sharp exhale, shaking his head. “Every single fucking day”, he mutters, his eyes narrowing as they linger by your slightly sheepish expression. “Every day, people like you, stick their nose where it doesn’t belong.” 

The way he spoke, grouping you together with the other students, it shouldn’t have made your chest churn the way it did. “People like me?” You repeat the words, tasting them on your tongue, and finding that you don’t like them. Beomgyu, on the other hand, merely sends you a small look of distaste, the only emotion that had managed to pass his features in a whole week. 

“What? You think you’re something else?” He jeers, frowning when you get up from the bed, straightening your back as you come face to face with him. — “I know I am”, you say, forcing your voice to remain steady. You knew that you weren’t the only one who’s thoughts lingered in the past. You knew that he must still think of the two of you from time to time, even if only for a brief moment. 

Beomgyu finally seems to catch on, his brows rising on his forehead when he does. He looks like he’s about to burst into laughter, you think that he might. “Oh that’s right”, he muses, “You think you’re special because I was nice to you back then, because I took pity on you.” He pushes a strand of dark hair from his face with the help of his pinky, “Bet it was the first time something like that happened.” 

You didn’t want to admit that he was right, that it had been the first time someone had ever gone out of their way for you. That it had been the first time someone had ever gifted you something, apart from your own family, that it was the first time someone willingly sat with you during lunch. But your mind gets caught on that one word he’d used. Pity. 

Was that all it was to him? A game of play-pretend, a chance for him to play hero? You shake your head, it couldn’t be, it wasn’t. — For two years, you had blamed Choi Yeonjun. You had blamed him for taking Beomgyu away from you, for turning him into someone you couldn’t recognize, for ruining your only chance at an actual friendship, perhaps even something else. 

It was easy to blame Yeonjun, you didn't like him, you never had. But you could never bring yourself to actually blame Beomgyu himself, because that would mean he was a bad person, and you didn’t want him to be. You wanted him to remain the perfect version you had created in your head, the version you thought you liked. It became clear now, that he wasn’t. 

“You’re a liar.” 

You state, fingers twitching by your sides as you resist the urge to wrap your arms around yourself. Beomgyu’s expression morphs into one of confusion, then he scoffs. “A liar?” He asks, his voice hollow: “Do you hear yourself talk? You sound fucking crazy.” — “If you think for a second that what we have is different from any other piece of shit person in this school, you’re wrong.” He spits, eyes flaring up for the first time in so long, a small fire igniting within them. 

He continues to list reasons, reasons to hate you, reasons to hate him, reasons to hate everything. You weren't listening. All you see is his eyes, burning with rage, with life. 

It’s unexplainable, the feeling that surged in your chest, that pounds against your ribcage and pulls on your lungs as it sucks the air from them. And you don’t know why you took a step forward, why you let your hands brush against his, why you didn’t stop when you saw the bewilderment on his face. You don’t know why you leaned in closer, when you should be pulling back. — And you don’t know why you couldn’t look away, why you couldn’t tear your gaze from the flames dancing across his eyes. 

You don’t know why you kissed him. 

But you did. 

And now it was too late to ever go back. — Though you're not sure you want to. 

His lips feel soft against yours, not that you had ever stopped to think about how it would ever feel. Yet this somehow seemed right. You don’t open your eyes to look at him, you don’t think you could bear that. Still, you’re surprised when he doesn’t immediately jerk backward, when he doesn’t push you away. — Beomgyu hesitates. You think it’s the first time you’ve ever seen him do.  

The moment lasts forever, and somehow it seems to have vanished within the blink of an eye. The bed squeaks when you crash against the mattress, you can still feel the flat of his palms on your shoulders as the force he’d used to shove you away from him lingered. 

When you peer up at him, you find him already watching you. The flames in his eyes seemed to burn even brighter now. His jaw clenches, fingers curling into fists by his sides as he struggles to keep his composure. — Your lips part, but no words come out. What was there to say? Sorry? But you weren’t. I hate you? But you didn’t. 

Beomgyu speaks before you get the chance to, his nostrils flaring as he takes a deep breath. “You’re fucking insane.” It’s all he says, not waiting for a response as he turns back to your desk. He shoves his laptop in his bag with such force that you thought its seams might break.

Then he heads for the door, reaching it in four long strides. He doesn’t turn to look at you, not like he had that day. He rips it open, ignoring the squeaking sound it made when he slammed it shut behind him. 

The silence that follows echoes through your small dorm. And you remain on your bed, motionless, staring ahead as your fingers reach up to touch your lips. — Still burning with the fire he’d igninited. 

⸝⸝

That night was a quiet one, your dorm room basked in the eerie glow of the moon. Nothing but the soft sounds of your hushed sobs filling the confined space. Your pillow is wet, stained with your tears as you cry into the cotton. It was pathetic, really. In fact, you didn’t even know why you were crying. — But as soon as the door had slammed shut, and you had been left alone with nothing but your lingering thoughts, everything had become too much to bear. 

The events of the past few weeks finally catching up to you, breaking the dam of pent of tears you’d been so carefully keeping at bay. It felt as if it would never stop. You didn’t know whether you felt humiliated, rejected or just straight up insulted. Part of you just felt stupid. What the fuck were you even thinking? Kissing him like that. The image itself makes you grimace, and with a heavy sigh you pull yourself into a sitting position. 

After fumbling in the dark for a few moments, your fingers manage to grasp your phone. The bright light of its screen blinds you, and you squint as you scroll through your ridiculously short contact list. — The line rings for almost a whole minute, all the while you anxiously bite on your short nails, chopping the last bits of green polish from your nail beds. And when he finally picks up, it’s silent, save for the deep breaths he emits as he waits for you to speak.

“Taehyun?” 

Your voice comes out a lot more hoarse and strained than you had anticipated, causing you to immediately clear your throat. Taehyun groans, and you hear him shift slightly as he mutters something incoherent. “Do you know what time it is?” He finally asks in a groggy, sleep-laced tone. A spark of guilt blooms in your chest, and you throw a quick glance toward the time on your phone, showing that it was well past midnight. 

“I’m sorry…I just”, you bite your lip, hesitating for a moment. It wasn’t like you didn’t trust Taehyun, it was just different. You and Taehyun were different. Part of you thinks he won’t understand, that he might judge you, no you know he will. Still, he was the only one you could turn to. — “Taehyun, I think I messed up.” 

He doesn’t answer right away, but you know he’s still there. You sit in silence for a while, just listening to his breaths, and for a moment you wonder if he’s fallen back asleep. But then he speaks, this time he sounds more awake. — “How bad?” He asks, and somewhere in the background, you think you can make out a light being flicked on. 

“Really bad..” 

⸝⸝

You had never been to Taehyun’s house before. Two years of so called friendship and you would think that you’d progressed further. But as you heave the last step leading up from the subway, you stop in order to relocate yourself. The neighbourhood looked average, yet inviting. Its quaint little houses, lined up along the dimly lit street, all reflected one another. 

Number 14, that was the one you were looking for. Your worn out sneakers hit the asphalt with heavy thuds, and a small cloud forms when you exhale out into the cold December air. With your fingers stuffed deep in the pockets of your duvet jacket, you make a slight turn, coming face to face with house number 14. 

It looked just like the rest, a small mailbox by the fence gate, its white paint chipped in places. You push it open, stepping up the small graveled path taking you to the doorsteps. Taehyun told you not to ring the bell, but to quietly knock. He didn’t live alone, you knew that much. — He shared the small flat with one of the juniors, you think his name might be Kai. 

You knock once, proceeding to wrap your arms around yourself as you wait anxiously for him to open. It takes him a mere thirty seconds, and when the door swings aside, you're met with the still sleep-laced figure of Kang Taehyun. — He’s dressed in nothing but a pair of checkered sweatpants and a black t-shirt, the glasses he always wore nowhere to be seen. He looked far different like this, it takes you a moment to even recognize him. 

Your silence must’ve been unusual, because he soon cocks an eyebrow, stepping aside as he motions for you to get in.  

Taehyun’s place looks nothing like you’d imagined it. It was far messier. With clothes hanging off the kitchen chairs, lecture material spread over the round table and piles of books crowding the already small countertop. Still, he doesn't seem to mind the slight chaos as he reaches up to fetch two glasses from the cabinet, not saying anything as he fills them both with water from the tap. 

This eternal silence covers you both like a thick blanket, enveloping you in a false sense of ignorance, like the fact that you were currently in his kitchen, at 3am no less, was completely normal. — Taehyun remains quiet as he walks past you and into the joint living room, you trail behind him, eyes lingering on the discarded guitar that rested against the wall. 

The large green sofa takes up a good third of the room, and Taehyun sets your glasses down on the wooden coffee table in front of it as you take a seat. — “Do you play?” It’s the first thing that comes to mind, not a ‘Hello, sorry for bothering you so late at night and barging into your home.” But you can’t help yourself, somewhere in the back of your mind, you hear Beomgyu, clearly remembering the day he’d told you about his love for music, no less the guitar. 

But Taehyun merely shrugs, and when he speaks, his voice is groggy. “Kai does.” The statement doesn’t leave room for further questions, and you thought it was probably wise to not bother him with more small talk. 

Reaching for the glass, your fingers wrap around its cold surface as you bring it to your lips. You sip slowly, prolonging the inevitable confession you were to make. And as the refreshing water slides down your incredibly dry throat, you sneak a glance in his direction. It felt odd, seeing Taehyun outside of school like this. 

Your gaze lingers on his bare arms, something his uniform never allowed even as much as a glimpse of. He leans against the soft cushion of the couch, mindlessly fiddling with a small string which you had no idea where he’d gotten it from. — It might’ve been the late hour, or the change of scenery, hell it might’ve even been the fact that you’d probably made the biggest mistake of your life not even eight hours ago. But had Taehyun always looked this… Good wasn’t the right word… At least you didn’t think it was. 

You suppose he looked… Ordinary. He looked far more relaxed than he ever did at campus, in class or in the cafeteria. This Taehyun resembles little of your class president, right now he just looks like, well him. 

“Why are you here?” His sudden question snaps you from your trance and your eyes immediately snap toward the water in your glass, the clear liquid swirling around slowly. Why were you here? Because you were alone, because you were scared, because you didn’t have anyone else to turn to. — “I… I messed up”, your deflated sigh rings out in the living room. 

Taehyun continues to fiddle with the small string, twisting it around his thumb. “The presentation?” He asks, but you can tell that was not what he’d actually meant. Still, you nod. “Well that one too, that’s for sure..” You didn’t even want to think about having to face him next Tuesday, much less going through with that presentation together, in front of everyone. 

“It’s about him, isn’t it?” 

The question was hardly needed, and you mumble out a quiet ‘yes’ as you set your glass down. Taehyun hums, his eyes trained to his hand. You wait for him to say something, but he doesn’t. Biting the inside of your cheek, you inhaled slowly. It was better to get it out right away, wasn’t it? Besides, there was no way you could sugarcoat it, no way for you to lie yourself out of this. You wanted to be honest with Taehyun, because it was easier to be honest with him than with yourself. 

“I kissed him.” 

There. You said it. So why didn’t the lump in your throat ease? Why did your chest still feel tight and your palms sweaty? Why couldn’t it all just go away, you did what you were supposed to, you confessed. Was that not enough? — Taehyun doesn’t look surprised. In fact he looks almost amused. As if he was betting with himself, ultimately ending up winning as you said what he’d already expected you to. 

“I think he hates me even more now. No - I know he does.” You can’t stop the words from flowing, all your pent up emotions rolling off your tongue in one swift motion. “I don’t think he’s ever going to talk to me again. And I’ll probably have to do the presentation alone. But I don’t reckon he’ll tell anybody, I’m sure he’s embarrassed about being associated with me. Fucking entitled asshole.” The last part comes out with slight distaste. 

“Don’t you agree?” You turn to Taehyun who’s been listening quietly. Finally, he glances up from the string he’s fiddling with. He sighs, “I think you should’ve stayed away from him just like I told you to.” — His words made your chest tighten even further, but they were not surprising. You knew what his response would be, you had known before you even picked up the phone to call him. Still, you did it. Because even if he told you what you’d already heard so many times before, it was something, and something was better than nothing. 

“Why did you do it?” You quietly ask him, your question coming out nearly inaudible. “Hm?” His dark eyes, the ones you used to watch behind the thick lens of his glasses, shift over to you. — “Why did you write his essay?” Your sudden change makes him pause, his fingers stilling around the thin thread he’d been twirling for the past minutes. Taehyun looks at you, but you can tell he’s not actually looking at you. 

“What do you mean?” It takes him almost a whole minute to reply. That had never happened before. Holding your tongue, you consider your next words carefully. You’d been wanting to ask him about that day in the hallway for so long now, it had been pestering you for weeks, like an itch you couldn’t quite scratch. Because if it was one thing you couldn’t understand, it was why someone like Taehyun, would do something like that, for someone like Beomgyu. 

“Does he have something on you? Is he bullying you?” 

Taehyun shakes his head, his jaw clenching as he discards the thread between his fingers. “No”, he finally states, his voice firm. He was lying. He had to be, right? — “Then why?” You knew you were pushing far, too far, but you wanted, no, needed answers. But he only averts his gaze, his attention fixed on something far ahead. You try to follow his line of sight, your own eyes landing on the crowded bookshelves. 

Books. Your lip twitches at the sight of pages worth of study material. But as you survey the shelves closely, you find that they’re neatly organised, unlike the chaos that spread through the rest of the house. From different subjects, all neatly categorized, yet one book remained alone, separated from the rest. You didn’t recognize its cover. 

“Latin.” 

Taehyun’s thoughts seem to align perfectly with yours as he, too, eyes the lonesome book. “I didn’t know you took latin..” You murmur, still not tearing your gaze from the shelf. Beside you, Taehyun hums before going silent once more. That silence lingers for another thick and heavy minute. The darkness of his living room closing in on you, the sounds of your quiet breaths remaining the only signs of life. 

“Hardly anyone picks latin”, he then adds, nodding toward the book on the very edge of the shelf. You nod, even though you don’t exactly understand where he’s going with this. Taehyun sighs, and he sounds tired, “Picked it ‘cause I felt bad.” — “The professor would hardly have a class to teach this semester if it wasn’t for me.” 

You frown, shifting back to him as your lips part in an unspoken question. But Taehyun doesn’t need to look at you to know what goes on inside your head. — He shrugs, “You asked me why.” 

The silence that follows his last words did not feel as heavy as the others. It merely felt…confusing. Your gaze drops to your hands, placed neatly on your lap. Exhaling through your nose, you begin picking away at your already chipped nail polish, watching as the red flakes fell to your knees. Latin… He picked it out of pity? Not because he enjoyed it but because he felt bad? 

But what did Latin have to do with… 

“Did you want to do it?” Taehyun suddenly asks, and it felt weird, because he hardly asked questions about you, and especially not about Beomgyu. — The lump in your throat bounces back twice as big this time, and your fingers still. “Yes.” If there was one thing you were sure of, it was that. You wanted to kiss Choi Beomgyu, and you had.

“I don’t…” You begin but quickly trail off. Taehyun is patient. He waits for you to continue, he waits for two whole minutes, until finally, you say: “I don’t regret it.” — “And I wish I could tell him that.” 

Taehyun shifts on the green cushion, turning so that he’s now facing you. His gaze isn’t the narrowed and sharp one you’d grown so accustomed to. This one’s gentle, almost soft. — “So why haven’t you?” 

⸝⸝

“What the fuck is your problem?” 

The voice is sharp, and you think you might recognize it. It makes you halt, stopping just as you were about to round the corner taking you to the dormitories. With your back now pressed against the cool wall, you freeze, listening to the conversation taking place. You had mindlessly been returning to the place you called home after a long day of classes, when suddenly two arguing voices caught your attention. 

“My problem?”, Beomgyu spits, his tone harsh and defensive, “Fucking hell man, have you even seen yourself lately?” 

The other voice, which you now recognize as Yeonjun's, cuts back with an equal bite. “Oh come on, just admit that you have something against her. – It’s not like you’ve ever tried to hide it.”

Beomgyu remains quiet, the air feeling dense and heavy with unspoken feelings. “I don’t have anything against her.” He pauses and you wonder what his face might look like right now, furious, deflated? He exhales, “It’s you, okay? You’re the issue here.” 

You could almost hear the surprise as it radiated off of Yeonjun, and you manage to get a glimpse of one of his arms as he shifts on the spot. “The fuck is that supposed to mean?” He sounds confused, agitated almost. 

“It means..” Beomgyu begins, though quickly cutting himself short as he inhales. “It means you’ve changed, alright. — And I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you but you..” He trails off, the frustration at not being able to say what he wants, what he feels, is palpable and you shift uncomfortably against the wall as you hold your breath. 

Yeonjun scoffs, it sounds almost like laughter. “Oh, so I get a girlfriend and suddenly can’t hang anymore?” — “Yes.” Beomgyu immediately responds. “You and that fucking good for nothing ner-” 

Thud. 

It sounds almost as if one of them had shoved the other against the wall and your eyes widened as you resist the urge to take just a single step forward, to round the corner and see for yourself. — Yeonjun is the first to speak. “You fucking watch your mouth!” He snarls and you can make out Beomgyu’s low groan as he splutters against what you presumed to be Yeonjun’s chokehold on him.

“Or what?” He counters in a strained voice, the teasing edge evident, the one he used to mask how hurt he was.

The sound of Yeonjun’s fist connecting with what could only be Beomgyu’s face echoes through the otherwise empty hallway and your heart drops to your stomach. But Beomgyu merely chuckles. “She ruined everything”, he grumbles, merely adding fuel to the fire. 

“Shut your mouth.” 

Beomgyu snickers, and Yeonjun’s frustration bounces off the walls. You’d heard enough, and you certainly weren’t going to risk staying and ending up in the middle of it. So you turn around, and just as quickly as you had come, you retreat again. 

⸝⸝ 

You nervously pace your room, mumbling the words to yourself over and over, trying your hardest to memorize them. It had dawned on you that you would be doing this alone, and now what remained was to learn everything. But no matter how many times you circled your bed, you always found yourself off track, needing to double check your laptop over and over. 

You were slowly becoming desperate. Nothing seemed to work in your favor. — You curse yourself for letting your feelings get the better of you. For being naive, for thinking that he actually felt something, anything for you. Had you just restrained yourself, had you just held back… You wouldn’t be in this situation right now. 

Anxiously gnawing on your nails, your teeth scrape their beds as you re-read the paragraphs written on the powerpoint for the fifthteenth time. The sentences had started to blur, the words merging with one another slowly. — You shake your head, willing yourself to stay focused, to not let your emotions get the better of you, again. 

But then there it is. A loud, almost frantic, knock at your door. — Knock! Knock! 

Your head jerks in its direction, the presentation long forgotten about as your eyes narrow on the dark oak. You throw a glance at the time, 8:29 pm, what could anyone possibly want you at this hour? — But the knocking persists. 

Knock! Knock! Knock! 

It’s loud, flaring like thunder through your dormitory and it makes you jump. Naturally, you do the only thing that comes to mind; you approach, with both curious and wary steps. Your hesitant hand reaches for the handle, the other one twisting the lock as you pull the door open. — The sight that greets you on the other side is nothing you could’ve ever imagined. 

Beomgyu looks even worse than he had a week ago. The bags under his eyes were a permanent look now, dark and sunken in. His long hair falls in uneven sections down the sides of his face, a few strands sticking to his forehead, covered in a sheen layer of sweat. Even his expensive uniform was messed up, tie hanging loosely around his neck and his white shirt torn by the seams. 

You can only make out half his face, the rest shielded by his unkempt and dark hair. But what stood out was the large and angry bruise covering his cheek. Its blue and purple hues were a stark contrast to his honey-like skin. You knew where he’d gotten that. His breaths come out ragged, shallow, like he’d ran here. Perhaps he had. Your lips part, but before you can get the question out, he’s barging inside, slamming the door shut behind him. — “Beomgyu what..” Your words fall short as he pushes his hair from his face, revealing his dark eyes to you. 

They were burning with the same fire they had been that night, the night you kissed him. The flames dance across his bottomless irises. You think that if you got too close, you’d end up burning yourself. Another part of you thinks it’s too late to take cover. That you had already walked inside and sealed the door shut behind you, and now you would burn with him. 

He takes a step forward, the fire drawing in closer and you squint against its flames. His chest heaves, it clouds your narrowed vision as he backs you up against the nearest wall. Something had happened, something had made him like this, because this was not the Beomgyu you knew. The Beomgyu you knew would be repulsed to even as much as near you, to even breathe the same circuit of air as you. 

He is not the Beomgyu you know. Because the Beomgyu you know would never kiss you. 

But this one does, and it’s without hesitating that his hands reach for your face, cupping both cheeks in his blazing hot palms as he brings your face to his. — Your eyes widen, alarm bells going off in your mind, screaming for you to push him back, to demand answers from him. So why don’t you? Why do you let him kiss you, why do you let him toy with you like this? 

Beomgyu did not like you. He hated you. That was a fact. Not because he’d said so himself, or because he treated you like he did. But because it was the reality you had been feeding yourself for so long. It put you at ease, knowing that he hated you, because if he did, then he at least felt something for you. You weren’t just another face in the halls, your time together wasn’t just a figment of his or your imagination, it had been real. The two of you were real, and the resentment and hate was a confirmation of just that. 

So when his lips press against yours, warm and wet, his tongue slips inside your mouth without waiting to hear your startled yelp.. The reality you had built for yourself suddenly starts to crumble. Everything was wrong, this was not how it was supposed to be. — You had allowed yourself a slip up last week, a moment of weakness. You had kissed him. For a brief, short and awfully painful moment you had let your own desires consume you. And you had paid the price. 

This time Beomgyu was acting on his desires, not yours. And that scared you. 

His chest is flush against yours, his grip on your face unwavering as he forces your lips to meet in a searing kiss. You don’t understand. You thought you had him all figured out, this wasn’t supposed to happen, why is he… — “Beomgyu, stop!” Your nails dig into his shoulders, tearing him off of you with all your might. He separates from you, if only an inch, the kiss coming to an abrupt stop as you’re left panting. 

His lips are coated in saliva, a small string connecting the two of you before it breaks just a second later. You barely recognize him. “What’s going on?” The question is accusing, your voice laced with confusion and anger. 

Beomgyu remains silent, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he exhales a final heavy breath. His jaw clenches when he swallows, and his dark eyes flicker down to your lips once more. — “Shut up.” It’s all he says, but there’s no malice in the way he does. It sounds almost like a plea. And the fire within his eyes seems to burn even brighter as his gaze meets yours. “Please just shut up.” 

You did not want to shut up. You wanted to ask what the fuck he thought he was doing. You wanted to show him just how it felt when he rejected you just days prior. You wanted to tell him that he was ‘fucking insane’ and slam the door shut in his own face. — You did none of that. 

The next kiss is initiated by you, not him. It’s soft, and it reminds you of the one you’d given him last week. Slow, hesitant, but tender. And Beomgyu’s hands reluctantly drop from your face, gently sliding down your arms and sides before settling on your waist. — You had known for a long time now that you felt empathy for him. That you pitied him. Perhaps it was why you let him use you. 

Tomorrow he would not speak of this. He would act as if it never happened, he would bury it as deep as he could. He might think that this is his only solution today, that this will be his solace for whatever might’ve set him off. But it isn’t, and when this night morphs into dawn, he will realize that. — You don’t want him to. 

You should tell him to stop right now. He’ll only end up hurting you, not that he cares, he never had. But you, you should care. So why don’t you? 

Your fingers tug his already loose tie off, letting it slip from his neck before you work on his shirt, hastily unbuttoning it. Beomgyu follows in your tracks, letting you shrug the torn garment from his shoulders before he reaches for the pajama pants you wore. — You stop him, your hand on his wrist. “On the bed, please”, you whisper against his lips. 

His nod is barely noticeable before he hoists you into his arms. The sudden action startles you and you cling to him in shock as he gently places you down onto the mattress. He just about bothers to shove your laptop to the floor, muttering something incoherent about being able to get you a new one if it broke. You can’t find it in you to care, not when he climbs on top of you, the bed squeaking beneath his weight as he does. 

You feel warm, fuzzy, intoxicated even. Bleary eyes finding his as he hurriedly presses his lips against yours again. It was almost as if he was trying to drown out whatever thoughts plagued his mind as his hands grabbed at whatever part of you he could access. — His fingers hook around the waistline of your pajama pants, attempting to tug them off once more, and this time he succeeds. 

The air of your dormitory is cool against your naked skin, causing goosebumps to flare across it as Beomgyu slides your clothes down your body. He was moving fast, almost too fast. For some reason you let him, even though you know you probably shouldn’t. He was being selfish right now, wasn’t he? Using you like this, only to quiet his own worries, to soothe his own pain. He didn’t care for your feelings and he never would, not even now as his hands hover above your panties, fingers tracing their lining with eagerness. 

Or perhaps you were the selfish one? He clearly wasn’t thinking straight. The Beomgyu you knew would never stoop to this level, he would never go for someone like you, and you would never allow it.. Right? — Were you selfish for using him in this state, for egging him on even when you knew that the two of you were to regret this in the morning? 

Maybe. 

You don’t care. 

His fingers slide beneath the fabric of your pantines, running between your folds, circling your clit once as he pulls a shaky gasp from you. Your hands are still gripping his shoulders, nails digging into the skin there, leaving crescent like shapes in their wake. — He doesn’t wait, doesn’t drag the process out. You can tell that his mind is set on one thing. That’s okay, so were yours. Right? 

You cry out when he pushes two fingers inside of your aching cunt, curling them meticulously as his lips trail down your jaw. Your hips arch off the bed, meeting his movements as you wordlessly beg for more. — “Beomgyu, we… we should..” You didn’t even know what you wanted to say, the feelings swirling within your chest were difficult to convey. 

But he won’t have a word of it. “Shut up”, he grunts, the palm of his free hand pressing against your pelvis as he shoves you back against the mattress. He’s rough, surprisingly so. You’d always taken him for a little bitch. But his strength startles you, as well as sending a shot of heat through your stomach, making you clench around his fingers. 

If he notices it, he doesn’t bother to comment, which is unusual for him. Something bad must’ve happened, that’s all you can think. Something so bad had happened that his only resolve was you. The thought of him using you to get over whatever had hurt, it should upset you. It should make you feel small and insignificant, but it never did. 

Beomgyu tugs your panties down, throwing them over his shoulder as he parts your already spread legs. — Your hands glide over the apex of his shoulders, and you blink up at him expectantly. He doesn’t return your gaze. That hurt. 

Instead he focuses on the zipper of his uniform pants, undoing it with a harsh tug before slipping hand down his pants. His low groan pierces the thick and hot air, the sound is one so sinful, one you could have never imagined coming from his lips. — Your eyes dart down to his cock when he pulls it free, tongue subconsciously darting out to wet your lips as you regard the way he languidly strokes himself.

“Touch yourself”, he says, his voice low and gruff as he eyes your dripping cunt. — Surprised, you hesitantly comply as you reach a hand down between your thighs, fingers experimentally dragging across your core. The small moan that slips off your tongue makes your face heat up as you avoid his gaze. 

You push two fingers inside of your pleading cunt, not even bothering to put on a show for him as you let yourself become immersed in how it feels, how good it feels. In fact everything felt good, a little too good, when you know it shouldn’t. — You watch him through the corner of your eye, catching the bead of precum that slid down his veiny shaft. And your stomach flutters uncontrollably when he squeezes around himself, letting his head tip back with a strained moan.

When he’s evidently had enough, he pushes your hand away, ignoring your cries as you lose any semblance of pleasure. Though your loss is soon replaced by the head of his cock as he slides it between your folds. It bumps against your clit, making you shudder as your fingers twist in the bed sheets. — Your lips part, but Beomgyu’s hand covers them again. 

“Don’t.” He grunts, his attention focused on the way his thick cock gently eases itself inside your warm cunt. Your eyes widen, a small and muffled noise of pleasure leaving you as you squirm beneath him. — “Don’t say anything”, he nearly pleads, his dark and burning gaze flickering to your face for a brief moment. 

Your chest contracts, you didn’t understand.. Yet you complied, sealing your lips off to anything that wasn’t a cry or a moan. — Beomgyu’s pace is rough, leaving no room for you to argue as he snaps his hips against yours. The bed frame rattles against your wall, and you briefly worried that the sound would carry into the next room. Beomgyu doesn’t seem to care. 

His hand slides off of your lips, resting on the mattress just inches from your face as he hovers above you. — Stifling a small whimper, you reach up to touch him, any part of him that you could. This was your chance, no? 

You can feel every twitch of muscle as you drag your fingertips along his arms, letting your hands glide across his tense shoulders. Beomgyu shudders when you reach the nape of his neck. — He complies when you pull him down for another kiss. This one starts out slower, but quickly morphs into something that could easily match the pace he was keeping. His teeth pull your bottom lip into his mouth, biting down with a force that startles you, a surprised moan ripping from your throat. 

He made you feel nearly delirious, like you didn’t exist, nothing felt real. But at the same time, you could feel everything at once. He was so close, closer than he'd ever been to you. Not even back then, back when you considered him your friend. Not even then did it feel like this.. Raw, scorching hot, burning and most importantly, alive. 

Your chest is already hurting, already mourning the loss of him that was to come. Why couldn’t you just allow yourself to live in the moment, to give in to your desires completely, even if they were beyond what you knew to be possible. This was real, he was here, with you. For now, for tonight, everything was different, and you should let it be just that. 

“I love you.” 

The confession slips past your lips. It carries out into the dim room, bouncing off the walls, ringing in your ears and pounding against your ribcage. Beomgyu stills inside of you, his dark eyes immediately landing on yours as they narrow. — Fuck. You shouldn’t have said that. Did you even mean it? Or had you let your flimsy emotions get the better of you once again. 

But this wasn’t just a small peck on the lips. Something you could pull back from, something you could wipe off your mouth and forget about. This was you baring your heart to him. This was you showing your most vulnerable self. — This was you being selfish. 

Beomgyu’s face twists into a scowl, the way it did whenever he tried to mask how hurt he was. Because that’s what he was tonight. Hurt. It’s why he’d come here. To use you. To let himself forget. He’d begged you to be quiet. — And you had done the exact opposite. 

“You don’t.” His statement is cold, and it sends a shiver down your spine. “You don’t know what you’re saying”, he grunts. And his expression hardens when you insistently shake your head. 

“I do”, your lips press into a thin line, determination flickering across your features. That was a lie. You did not know if you loved him. But you knew that you pitied him, that your heart ached for him. It was like every punch to his gut went straight to your heart. — Perhaps the hurt was so strong that you had confused it with love. Maybe your empathy for him got mistaken for real feelings in your mind.  

How should you know? It wasn’t like you’d ever felt it before. 

And he hadn’t either. You were sure of it. 

“I know what I’m..” — “I said you don’t know anything!” Beomgyu’s voice cuts you off, it sounds like a scream. Ear-piercing and deafening. Beomgyu was yelling at you. And it scared you. 

He shifts above you, elbows digging into the mattress and you suddenly remember that his throbbing cock is nestled within your cunt. You think he might pull back, that he will get up and leave. That’s what he should do. But he doesn’t. — Instead he jolts back into action, snapping his hips against yours with newfound force, his jaw clenching as his dark eyes bore into you. 

“You’re confused”, he jeers, and you choke back a wanton moan when his thumb circles your clit. “Lot of girls get confused when they’re stuffed with cock”, he scoffs, “And you’re no different.” — Beomgyu was back to his old self, the cruel and menacing one. The Beomgyu that fronted whenever he tried to hide his true feelings, when the real him was feeling weak. You should’ve seen it coming, really. But his words still hurt, they always did. 

He rams himself into you, making your thighs quiver as they meekly wrap around his chest, drawing him even closer. You screw your eyes shut, not wanting to see him for as much as another second. He doesn’t seem to care, in fact he hardly seems to care about anything at the very moment. 

His fingers are harsh against your clit as he drinks in every moan you emit. And when you finally finish around his cock, your cunt fluttering around him, he doesn’t say anything. You pant, still refusing to look at him as you catch your breath. His thick cock makes you wince as it continues to push into you with demand. 

Beomgyu pulls out wordlessly. Hissing out into the quiet air as he cums all over your spread thighs, his sharp intake of air pounding in your ears. His release is warm, a sickening contrast to the cold sweats that had broken out on your body. It nearly makes you shiver. 

A new kind of silence follows after that. One full of knowing. Because you both knew that what had transpired tonight, was not something you would ever talk about again. The unanswered questions would never be brought to discussion. And you were supposed to be okay with that. You were supposed to be okay with this. 

You don’t know if you ever will be. 

⸝⸝ 

The bed was empty that following morning. The only trace of Beomgyu were the rustled sheets where he’d slept. And you spent nearly an hour tracing their patterns with the tips of your fingers, following every crease of duvet carefully as you memorized the shape of him. 

You knew that this was how it was going to end, as nothing more but yet another mistake. Another reason for him to hate you, and you him. Which is why you shouldn’t feel this melancholic. He sure as hell wasn’t. So why should you suffer? Yet it takes everything in you to drag yourself out of bed that day. 

The water is scorching hot against your skin, and you lean against the cool tiles as you close your eyes. But no matter how hard you scrubbed, how many layers of soap you covered yourself beneath. The feeling of his hands never went away. You almost thought you could see them, the faint outlines of his hands, all over your body. And as soon as you let your mind wander, even for just a second, you could feel him on you again. 

With a shudder you shake your head, promptly turning the water from flaming hot to an icy cold. The warmth reminded you of him, of the fire in his eyes and the burn of his touch. Cold water did not remind you of anything, that was better. 

Part of you had thought, almost hoped, that he would come to you, that he would beg of you to keep quiet, to not utter a single word about the night that had been. But he never did. Presentation day comes, and it passes again. It wasn’t very dramatic, in fact, it was like nothing had changed at all. 

Beomgyu showed up. He didn’t look you in the eyes when he took his papers from you. He didn’t look at you during the presentation, he kept his gaze ahead, fixated on the rest of your joint classes. He didn’t speak to you before, during, or after it. Not even a simple, ‘well done’ or even a ‘thanks’ when you’d offered to take his papers and throw them away for him. 

His indifference hurt the most. Perhaps the night had meant nothing to him. It had been just as you suspected, a way for him to forget. Forget whatever it was that had happened with Yeonjun that afternoon. — It had worked. Beomgyu seemed to have forgotten, but you remembered, you remembered far too much. 

Winter break began a mere three days later. 

A different kind of excitement lingered in the air. No matter how old you got, the joy of Christmas never seemed to dull people’s spirits. Almost three weeks to spend with family and friends, three weeks away from the tortuous hell that was college. Except you would stay right where you were. 

This would be the third Christmas you spent on campus. And while the school offered the remaining students to gather in the cafeteria for present unwrapping and long movie marathons, it was never the same as the warm embrace of home. — But home has long since lost its meaning to you. And Christmas no longer felt like a holiday. 

Taehyun had left as well, leaving you with nothing but your own thoughts to reconcile with. Suppose it was during the holidays you realized just how lonely you were. That hurt, of course. — You would spend your days doing mundane things, like reading, writing, drawing… Anything to get your mind off of the almost depressing reality you faced. It usually only worked for an hour or so. It was like a constant loop of distraction, one where you chased the comfort that slowly slipped from your fingers. 

But you were tired of chasing. 

⸝⸝

Your worn out sneakers make an awful squeaking noise against the polished floors and the sound rings in your ears. It’s all you can hear, which serves to quiet your thoughts for a moment, proving to be quite the distraction. 

The long hallways are eerily empty and quiet, it gives them an almost uncanny feeling. Campus no longer felt like campus, more like a shell of its former self. You knew that it would change as soon as break was over of course, but for now you were forced to make your way down the vacant halls all alone in order to get to the cafeteria and have dinner. 

It was for these exact reasons that the sudden tap to your shoulder made your heart drop. 

With a quick spin of your heel, you come face to face with the person you’d least expected to see. — His dark hair is nicely done, and his eyes glimmer with a kindness that two months ago would have had you doing a double take. Snow had melted on the shoulders of his jacket, and the tip of his nose was a bright red. An almost gentle smile is splayed across his rosy lips, and he gives a nervous chuckle. You almost didn’t recognize Choi Yeonjun. 

“Hey uh..” He scratches the back of his neck rather awkwardly, his eyes darting around the empty hallway. “You don’t happen to know if there’s someone with keys to classroom 017? - My girl forgot one of her books in there before the break you see..”  — You remain silent. You don’t think you’d ever had a decent conversation with Yeonjun, ever. It had all been mean and crude comments, nasty smirks and awfully childish pranks where you became a laughing stock. 

So to say that it felt a little weird to be approached by him like this, well that would certainly classify as an understatement. Your first instinct was to walk away, to leave him hanging like he deserved or perhaps you should belittle him on his obliviousness, did he not know all keys were held in the lobby? You refused an eye roll. — For the first time since your night with Beomgyu, a different kind of emotion blossoms within your chest. 

Anger. 

Your mind easily recognizes Yeonjun as the one who’d taken Beomgyu from you two years ago. It was him who you’d blamed for the way Beomgyu turned out, it was him who was at fault. It was him… He… 

You swallow, giving him a small nod, “Think there should be someone up by the lobby.” The polite words sting on your tongue, your fingers itching as they clenched and unclened. Yeonjun on the other hand, smiles, his grin stretching wide as he thanks you. What had changed? 

“I best head there then.” With his hands stuffed deep in the pockets of his jeans, he turns and begins his journey down the lifeless corridor. You watch him, eyes trailing over his figure for a moment before you call out. — “Hey, wait!” 

He pauses, turning back to you with raised brows. You march forward without giving yourself the chance to think it over once more. The sounds of you sneakers squeaking against the floors becomes almost deafening but you disregard it as you come to a halt before him. Straightening yourself up, you hold his confused but intrigued gaze. 

“You were friends with Beomgyu, right?” It wasn’t a question, but you phrased it like one anyway. The smile immediately falls from his face upon hearing your words, and for a split second, the old Yeonjun, the face you recognized in the halls fronted. His lips twist into a small scowl and his dark brows furrow. “What’s it to you?” His voice had grown sharp, almost snappy, perhaps you’d hit a sore spot. 

Something had happened. 

Yeonjun studies you for a moment longer, his brown eyes drinking in your frame. His tongue prods against the inside of his cheek, and he looks almost thoughtful. Then he huffs a short breath, it sounded almost like a laugh. — “Oh, yeah that’s right. I know who you are.” He stated it like it was an insult, like your name weighed heavy, and for all the wrong reasons. 

You can feel the confusion evolve on your face, he can too. “Why, I bet he’s told you everything. Bet he came running to you like a bitch.” Yeonjun’s menacing sneer is far from unfamiliar and your chest twists at his words. What was that supposed to mean? — “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” It was true. You had no idea what had happened between the two of them. 

It’s silent for a moment, and Yeonjun studies you closely, as if searching for lies. When he finds none his shoulders visibly relax. He lets out a short breath, averting his gaze, as if the confrontation of the subject made him uncomfortable. — “He’s an immature bitch, what do you want me to say?” He doesn’t hesitate as his eyes snap back to you, this time with something akin to fury. 

“Couldn’t accept my girl so why should I accept him. – But come on now, he’s told you that already.” 

You don’t answer. Your fingers nervously fiddles with one another as your hands rest by your sides. What was he talking about? What was there for you to know. — Your silence seems to make the pieces fall together in his mind, finally assembling a large puzzle and Yeonjun’s face lights up. “Oh shit”, he huffs, “He hasn’t told you anything at all.” It’s a statement, one that makes your heart drop. 

He runs a hand through his dark hair, a near sinister grin playing on his lips. “Fucking hell.” — He glances down the hall, which was ironic considering how blatantly vacant it was, then he turns back to you. “I thought– I mean I”, interrupting himself only to clear his throat, Yeonjun looks to be fighting back yet another laugh. “I mean I thought you guys were…” 

Shaking his head, he drags the flat of his palm across half his face. “Fuck, I guess not. That’s sad. Really.” — You want to object, tell him that whatever assumption he was currently making was wrong. You wanted to tell him that you and Beomgyu were exactly that. But that would be a lie. And you’d had enough of those. 

“Do you not miss him?” 

The question takes him by surprise, and Yeonjun pauses as he glances back at you. For a moment he looks offended, taken aback by your bluntness. His lips curl into a small scowl, the one he used to wear in the halls, not anymore though, now it was reserved for only one person, Beomgyu. — “Don’t think that’s any of your business, no? – I mean you guys aren’t even..” He clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth in a disappointing manner. 

“Just stay in your own lane”, he then adds, giving you a quick one over. “You’re better off without him anyway. – He’ll only bring you down with him.” 

Without another word, Yeonjun walks away. And you don’t stop him. For some reason, his words hurt. They were never directly targeted your way, so why did it hurt to hear him talk bad about Beomgyu? — Why did you feel the need to take on his pain as well, why did you feel the need to carry a burden that was never yours. 

The walk to the cafeteria feels even heavier than usual, and you barely get any food down that evening. 

⸝⸝

The days sort of blend together when you have nothing to do. They’re rolling on a loop, one after the other, and each one would follow the same mundane pattern. With only a day to spare before Christmas, you finally drag yourself off campus grounds, determined to at least make an attempt at lifting your spirits. 

Stores are beyond crowded, and you get shoved left and right as you swim your way through the large masses. God, had none of these people done their Christmas shopping with at least a little margin? — Supposedly not. 

You didn’t know what you wanted, hardly anything seemed to catch your eye. Still, you scour the near empty racks, even when nothing appeals. A small cry to your right diverts your attention in said direction where a young girl clings to her mom. — “I want this one!” She whines, her tiny feet stomping against the hard ground. Her mom sighs but eventually complies, shoving yet another toy in their already full cart. She looked exhausted.   

Your gaze lingers on the tired moms who rushed about with bags stuffed full, on the dads who checked off lists, on the workers who wiped sweat from their forehead as they tried to get through the long line of customers waiting to pay. 

All this commotion for a single day of the year. As much as the thought itself made you want to snort, there was also an undeniable sense of longing that filled your chest. You, too, wanted to rush about, you wanted to have to worry about what to get people for Christmas. You wanted to stay up late and wrap presents, you wanted to see the joy on their faces, hear their laughs. 

You didn't want to be alone. 

Walking was nice. But it becomes tiresome after a while. With your coat wrapped snugly around your body, you stroll the campus grounds absentmindedly. The cold air made your nose freeze and your cheeks sting, but you refused to return to your dorm just yet. There was something so comforting about being swallowed by the shivers running down your spine, or perhaps it was just numbing, like medicine, only it would never cure you. 

The frosty grass crunches beneath the sole of your shoes, and you trudge forward with heavy steps. There was but a thin and crisp layer of snow, one that could be erased with the swipe of your foot. So much for a white Christmas, you thought with a bitter scoff. — Your fingers are on the verge of falling off, but you clutch the small bag in your hand anyway, swinging it back and forth in tune with your casual strides. 

You pass a most familiar bench, now coated in a thin blanket of white but undoubtedly the same. Without thinking twice you come to a halt, feet melting into the ground as they force you in place. Furrowed brows press against your narrowed eyes as you peer over at the very same spot where you had seen Beomgyu sitting not long ago, all by himself. 

Everything seemed to remind you of him, even when all you wanted was to forget his mere existence. You look away, blinking the hurt from your eyes as you glance toward the entrance leading back inside, leading to warmth and to safety. You should go, you should go there now. But it’s impossible to get yourself to move forward, your legs refuse to carry you and you feel your knees buckle. 

With one harsh shake of your head you pull yourself from the small trance. And finally you move, but it is not the entrance you approach. — The old bench squeaks under your weight, and with the help of a gloved hand you dust the worst snow off. 

Sigh. Everything looked different now, yet it was as though nothing had changed. You close your eyes, and for a second you could almost imagine him as he sat beside you, sharing a laugh and perhaps even melting the cold away with your hand in his. The image pains you just as much as it warms you. 

Had it not been for the cold, the moment out on the bench might have even been tranquil. But the harsh winds soared through your body, chilling you to your core as it forced you to huddle in on yourself. You suck in a sharp breath, the cold air slicing down your throat as you force your almost numb lips together. 

Arms wrapped around yourself and fingers digging into your forearms, you’re so busy keeping the cold out that it takes you almost a whole minute to recognize the soft patter of frozen grass crunching beneath feet. But when the sound does reach your ears, your head jerks in its direction. 

There, on the other side of the once grassy field, without as much as a uniform or school bag in sight, is Beomgyu. You’re taken aback by his casual appearance, much so that you almost completely disregard his even more unusual visit. But only almost. — What was he doing here? He had a lot of people to spend Christmas with, no? What business did he have on campus? 

You shift on the old bench, the squeaking noise of the wood however, catches his attention. You swallow when his dark eyes find yours, even from across the field. For a split second you think that he might just keep on walking, to continue his act of nonchalance, as if nothing had ever happened between the two of you, and that you were crazy for even suggesting such a thing. 

But Beomgyu’s gaze doesn’t harden, nor does it lessen. In fact his expression remains completely impassive, though his actions speak for him. He puts one foot before the other, and it’s not until he’s gotten about halfway across the field that you realize where he’s headed. Your stomach drops as you watch him push his hands into the pockets of his jeans, his shoulders slumped as he approaches. Your gaze flickers to the bag in your hands, swallowing nervously as you tune in to the sound of his footsteps nearing. 

Beomgyu doesn’t say anything when he sits down beside you, and you listen to the squeaking noise the bench makes in protest to yet another element of weight. You peer at him through the corner of your eye. His hair was shorter, the dark strands no longer reached the nape of his neck but stopped just below his ear. Even the bruise on his face had begun to fade, now it was a mere light purple, with splotches of red coating its edges. Lastly, the tip of his nose, which was an uncharacteristic shade of pink, one you found to be almost endearing. 

Your attention travels to the clothes he wore, the jacket looked expensive, undoubtedly more than you could afford even if you saved all your money’s worth. Funnily enough, he doesn’t seem to care for it as his fingers lazily pick at its seams. Beomgyu took a lot of things for granted, you could tell. — Things you could only dream about. 

The silence surrounding you is thick, hugging you tight and keeping you from moving. Your lips part as you attempt to break said silence, despite how dry your throat feels. Beomgyu however, is quicker than you as he heaves a sigh. 

“Why are you out here?” He asks, his gaze still fixed far ahead as his fingers give his jacket a small break. You had expected a ‘hello’ perhaps even a ‘how are you?’, maybe you would even have been content with a sharp glare or a ‘fuck off’. But Beomgyu leads the conversation in a completely different direction. 

When your silence becomes deafening he turns to you. His eyes are filled with something you can’t quite place, something unlike his usual self. He searches your face, as though looking for clues with the help of a magnifying glass. “It’s cold”, he then adds, as if the obvious could not have been made any clearer. 

You scoff, shaking your head as you fiddle with the bag in your hands. “I’m dressed for it”, you mutter without looking at him. Beomgyu hums, and for a second it sounds as though he’s about to say something else, only to stop himself. — The thick silence returns, this time it feels almost claustrophobic. You wanted to ask him about that night, you wanted to ask him about Yeonjun, you wanted to ask him about the two of you, you wanted to ask him…

“Why are you out here?” Your quiet whisper is nearly swallowed by the whirling wind but Beomgyu manages to catch it as his attention jumps from the naked trees and back to you. There were a thousand thoughts swimming within his eyes, things that were just waiting to be said. So why didn’t he? 

“It’s Christmas”, you add, watching as his lip twitches in amusement. — You could not remember the last time you’d made Beomgyu laugh. He shakes his head, tongue prodding against his cheek. “It is”, he nods in agreement, his gaze dropping to the bag clutched in your hands. “Present?” He asks to which you slowly nod. 

Pulling your lip between your teeth, you exhale a deflated sigh, “A stupid one.” You didn’t want to admit that you had bought it for yourself, considering the fact that it would be the only gift you were to receive this year, again. It’s quiet after that and you desperately hoped he would drop the subject again. 

Beomgyu shrugs, “Isn’t that the whole point of Christmas?” When you only frown, he continues, “I mean, wrapping things up and giving them away.” He scoffs as he runs a hand through his dark hair, “Using gifts as condolences, it’s quite materialistic don’t you think?” 

You wanted to argue that it was not, but as your gaze flickers over the expensive clothes he wore, you realized that he didn't seem even a tad grateful for them. Perhaps they had been just that, condolences. — Your thoughts are interrupted by Beomgyu as he shifts on the bench and his hand reaches into the pocket of his coat. 

“I’m not much better”, he murmurs when pulling out a small box. It fit perfectly in his palm, enveloped in silver wrapping with a tiny bow on top. You eye the tiny present with intrigue, your stomach flipping at the sight. — He inhales sharply as he twists the box between his fingers. “Reflecting, repenting all that bullshit..” He mumbles as his brown eyes meet yours, “Suppose that’s what I’m trying to do here.”

Confused, you open your mouth to speak but before you can get as much as a word out, he hands you the gift. His eyes look near pleading as he silently begs for you to accept it, as if it would mean you accepted his apology. Perhaps it would take the guilt off his shoulders if you did. — The frown on your face only grows, but you set your own bag down before reaching a hesitant hand out to grasp the present. 

It feels light in your palm, almost weightless. “Open it”, Beomgyu encourages beside you, his warm breath ghosts across your cheek and you hadn’t even realized just how close he was. — Shrugging your mitten off, your free hand carefully plucks the lid from its container. You can feel his gaze on you, watching intently as you gently tug the rustling paper aside. 

Your breath catches in your throat and your eyes widen tenfold when they fall on the familiar piece of leather. It was the same warm brown, and the contrastingly dark navy blue. The bracelet which you had cherished for so long, the one you had clung onto in the hopes that his matching part would still exist somewhere. 

“I…” You breathlessly begin but Beomgyu quickly cuts you off. “I.. I’m sorry, yeah, that’s what I was…”, he trails off, shrugging as he averts his gaze sheepishly. It’s weird to see him like that, it reminds you of a time long ago, a time before everything. 

The reality of his words slowly sank in, Beomgyu was apologizing. 

You had spent countless sleepless nights, tossing and turning in bed as you prayed and hoped for a time like this. Was it selfish for you to wish for things to be the way they had been? You wanted to bring back someone who no longer existed, a version of him that was but a mere memory, remembered and kept alive only by you. 

Yet here he is, doing just as you had hoped, and for so long. But you hate Choi Beomgyu now. That was a fact. And he hated you too. So this didn’t make sense, no, it wasn’t right. He shouldn’t be apologizing. He should have brushed it off, acted as if nothing had ever happened and given you a shoulder cold enough to bring back the ice age. 

“This is wrong.. — I mean, you can’t just-” Biting back a frustrated groan, you twist uncomfortably in your seat as you avoid his reluctant gaze. You can sense his confusion, and it only fuels your frustration. Did he not understand that he couldn’t just undo everything with a simple ‘sorry’ and a gift. 

Beomgyu swallows, his adam’s apple bobbing against his throat. “What?” He asks, his gaze dropping to the untouched gift still in your hands, “Do you not like it? — I can get you something else.” 

You shake your head, “It’s not about the gift, Beomgyu.” — He frowns, “Then what is it?” 

“Everything.” 

You’re looking at him now, your heart hammering in your chest as you fight your nerves. “It’s everything, okay? You, me–” You motion between the two of you, “Yeonjun, the presentation, us.” It wasn’t just something you drew a line over, something you blurred and pushed back in the depths of your mind as you tried to forget it. 

“But, why does any of that matter?” He wonders with a confused frown, his bottom lip slightly jutted out as he regards you with caution. You have to hold back a scoff, your fingers curl around the small box, knuckles turning white as you resist the urge to roll your eyes. “Because it does! You might not get that, but it hurt me.” 

Beomgyu groans as he runs a hand through his short hair. “Fuck, I already apologized what more do you want from me?” His anger matches yours in a way that instantly reminds you of just how bad you could be together, of how deeply he made you feel. — “What difference does it make?” You snap, blinking away the tears that threatened to spill. 

“Everything.” 

“It changes everything, alright?” His chest heaves when he exhales, his eyes flaring with the same fire they had that night, the night when he wasn’t thinking straight. He probably wasn’t right now either. — “Because”, he swallows, tongue darting out to wet his lips as he regains his composure. “Because I don’t know how else to change things.” 

He drags a hand across his face, like he didn’t know what else to do with himself. “You act like I’m the biggest asshole to walk this earth and next thing I know you’re kissing me. It confuses me and it angers me. But even when you’re mean you’re nice, and I hate how it makes me feel. — I hate that it’s you I want to go to when shit goes wrong, and I hate that I did. I hate how you let me use you that night.” 

He’s barely taking breaks to breathe in between sentences, and you catch the subtle flush to his cheeks as he speaks. “I fucking hate the fact that you’re always on my mind, much more do I hate that I never even try to will those thoughts away.” Beomgyu bites his bottom lip, chewing on it for a good five seconds before letting it go as he sneaks a glance your way. “But I…” He sighs as he finally comes to a conclusion after his long battle with himself. — “I don’t hate you. I want to, but I can’t” 

You swallow, your hand still hugged by the mitten feels clammy and sweaty. Your heart races and your mind jumps between his jumbled words with little coherence. You don’t think you’d ever heard him say so many things at once, and certainly not like that. His usual mean and crude self had completely drained from his system and left was a shell of the Beomgyu you thought you knew. 

It was then, you think, that you realized Choi Beomgyu wasn’t so different from you after all. Your gaze drops to the small gift still in your hands. What had once weighed so little now felt heavy in your grasp, like you were holding all of him, all at once. The bracelet fills you with hope, something you’d long since given up on entirely. 

You glance toward him. His jaw is clenched tightly as his narrowed eyes peer ahead, intent on avoiding you it seemed. His apology was complete and total shit, his reasoning even worse. But Beomgyu was quite shit at most things. So were you. — Your gaze lingers on his pink nose, bitten by the cold. Your own nose stings too, for the both of you had been out here far too long. 

In the pale winter air it became clear. Beomgyu was lonely, just as lonely as you. The slump of his shoulders and the defeated look on his face surely matched your own. You imagine how the two of you must look from afar. It would have to be quite a pitiful sight. How could one be lonely in the presence of someone else? Only two jackasses must manage something like that. 

But you didn’t want to be a jackass anymore, and neither did he. — So you shift on the bench, ignoring the squeaking noise it makes as you turn to Beomgyu. “Do you want to watch a movie?” 

⸝⸝

It’s awkward at first. 

The soft rustle of bed sheets, the untouched bowl of popcorn between you, the flimmer coming from the Tv screen as a cheesy romcom movie plays. Beomgyu, who was usually more than at home in your dorm, was now stiffly sitting on his side of the bed, his back straight as he pressed against the headboard. He appeared almost nervous. 

You weren’t faring much better, in fact your hands were dripping sweat as they remained tightly clasped together. Neither of you had touched the large bowl of popcorn, and they had long since gone cold. — Despite the freezing temperatures outside, your small dormitory seemed to be burning up. 

None of you had said a word since the movie began playing, and before that you had been communicating with fast and hushed murmurs as you avoided each other’s gaze. — Never had you imagined that you would be spending Christmas with Beomgyu, much less on the small and squeaking bed in your dorm. 

Did this mean that things were starting to look up between the two of you? 

Your heart practically leaps to your throat when you feel him shift on the mattress. Everytime he moved, even if it was just a mere centimeter, you tensed up. But the dramatic beating of your fluttering heart was only increased when he suddenly appeared even closer to you. His body feels warm, scorching hot inside the already airless room. 

He doesn’t say anything, and when you steal a glance his way, you find him watching the Tv. His expression would be relaxed if it weren't for the subtle twitch of his jaw when he felt your eyes on him. — Your attention drops to his hands, they were placed on the bed either side of him, his fingers moving absentmindedly against the sheets as he fiddled with them. 

Your lips pulled into a small smile, and oh how you had missed smiling. 

Beomgyu frowns when you suddenly climb off the bed, leaving behind an empty spot that radiates your sweet scent. He looked as though he was about to say something, one of his hands reaching out before stopping himself again. — He watches as you reach for the same bag you’d been clutching so tightly out on the bench, the one that had been completely disregarded in the end. 

You clear your throat, standing awkwardly by the edge of the bed as you hold it in two hands. “I…” Your throat feels parched and your lips dry as your tongue wets them, “I want you to have this.” You reach the bag out toward him and Beomgyu's frown only deepens. — “But it’s yours..” He murmurs as his eyes flit between you and the bag in your hands. 

“I want you to have it. — Besides”, you shrug, “You’re not the only one who’s been an idiot here.” 

His brow raises at your words, a small grin tugging at his lips as he gratefully accepts the token of an apology from you. You take the moment of him peering inside the bag to retake your position next to him on the mattress. Eagerly you watch as his frown deepens, only for it to ease up as he realizes what he was looking at. 

“This is..” He begins, one of his hands reaching into the bag as he pulls out the small bracelet. Beomgyu’s jaw slacks as he turns the cool and brown leather in his fingers, thumb caressing the warm and red embroidery. “You…” He cuts himself off, whether that was because he did not know what to say next or did not dare to. 

Your gaze flickers to the small box placed on your bedside table, perhaps you weren’t complete jackasses after all. 

“Why did you…” He swallows, and though he never finished his sentence, the question swirling within his eyes was obvious. — You shrug, nibbling on your bottom lip as you regard the bracelet in his hand. “It just… felt right.” 

There was no other way to explain it. For as you had trudged forward on tired feet, with heavy and droopy eyes, you had stumbled upon the very thing that had haunted you for so long. 

It has been a small stand, hardly making itself known amongst its competitors. The handmade jewelry however, immediately caught your eye. You recognized the leather, eyes widening even further as they caught glimpse of the warm red braided into it. 

Your stomach had dropped, just the way it would on a rollercoaster before its drop. That was undoubtedly the very same bracelet he’d worn, the one that had wrapped around his wrist so delicately, a constant reminder of what you had once lost. 

“That one,” You had said as you pointed to the accessory. Why? Because it felt right. Words would never even come close to describing the pull you felt, the immense need to have it. — But now, as you watch it lay in Beomgyu’s open palm, his lips parted as he regards the very bracelet, you understand perfectly. 

Things were exactly how they were supposed to be. 

Beomgyu’s hand suddenly drops, and he twists in his seat as he turns to you. The touch of his fingers against your cheek makes your eyes widen, the subtle reaction not passing him by unnoticed as a sly grin pulls across his lips. “What are you doing?” Your brows knit together, the soft confusion on your face only amusing him further. 

His breath is warm against your lips as his own hover above them. The tip of his round nose brushes against yours, the small contact sending a jolt of electricity through you. “What I should have done from the start”, he murmurs before pressing his lips to yours. 

⸝⸝

The agonizing noise of violent video games fill the open spaced living room. Continuous shots are fired, easily drowning out the sound of the doorbell. Completely immersed in his game, Yeonjun doesn’t look up until he feels the cushion beneath him shift as somebody takes the seat next to him. He doesn’t turn his head and look, he already knows who it is. 

“How did you get in?” He asks in a somewhat monotone voice, his eyes still glued to the Tv screen in front of him as he taps the controller in his hands. Beomgyu, who occupies the other half of the cough, shrugs as he spreads himself out on the soft furniture, just like he had so many times before. — As though nothing had changed. 

“Your girlfriend let me in”, he simply states as he, too, tunes in on the violent game. Yeonjun on the other hand frowns, his face morphing into confusion as his thumbs slow down on the buttons. At last, the game comes to an end and he tears the headset from his ears. — “Oh, so you talk to her now?” He retorts, his tone snappy and sharp as he tosses the control onto the coffee table. 

Beomgyu bites the inside of his cheek, his gaze still fixed to the ‘New Game’ flashing on the screen. “I do”, he hums, fingers absentmindedly toying with one another. Yeonjun scoffs as he throws a glance in the direction of his supposed friend. — “Any particular reason?” He queries to which Beomgyu swallows. 

There’s a momenteral silence following his question as the two of them remain quietly seated on the couch. Neither of them move, the air feeling heavy yet filled with a sense of anticipation. Finally, he clears his throat as his anxious fingers come to a halt. “I’ve been acting like an asshole..” Beomgyu murmurs as he pushes a hand through his now short hair. 

Yeonjun looked as though he was biting back a snarky remark, his gaze flickering between the other and his own hands. “No shit”, he mumbles under his breath, unable to hold the comment back as he sucked in a sharp breath. His gaze jumps from his hands and over to Beomgyu’s as he nervously fiddles with the seams of his jeans. He can’t help but notice the oddly familiar bracelet around his wrist. 

It takes him a good minute, but soon the pieces fall into place. His lip twitches as his eyes stray by the bracelet. — “I’m sorry”, Beomgyu quietly adds. It seems apologies were becoming a new habit of his. It took Yeonjun by surprise, making his eyebrows rise on his forehead, all the while Beomgyu avoided his gaze. 

“I haven’t been too good either, I suppose.” Yeonjun reluctantly admits as he gives a small shrug. Beomgyu doesn’t reply but still nods as he purses his lips. Another thick silence follows, it’s not uncomfortable, but it’s not one either of them want to linger in. Yeonjun is the first to break it when he clears his throat. 

“I missed you man”, he says, his words light and filled with sincerity. 

Beomgyu finally finds himself looking at his friend, his eyes widening just a fraction. “Yeah?” He asks, the ghost of a grin playing across his lips. Yeonjun scoffs as he leans further into the couch, “Yeah, yeah. Don’t let it get to your head.” But it’s already too late, for Beomgyu was smirking as he leaned over to grab the discarded controller. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it”, he drawls as he presses ‘New Game’. 

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PROMISES

dean winchester x angel!reader

3.5k | fluff | smut (MDNI) | oral (fem receiving) | finger sucking | unprotected p in v.

summary: dean finally has his angel, and he wants to keep strong on his promises; to never leave her, and always be by her side

WHEN ANGEL FALLS IN LOVE

days blurred in time as you and dean spent more of it together, the relationship you created flourishing into one of mutual respect, love, and understanding. dean was working on being wholly honest with you, not allowing those pesky thorns to prick and make you bleed when you would take the bricks of his walls down.

dean was making progress at his own pace, and you couldn’t help but be so proud of him.

he wasn’t the big mean and scary hunter he let others see. he was sweet, loving. a shy and docile man when it came to how he gave his love. the soft kisses he’d leave on your chest at night were a testament to that, alongside the featherlight pecks he’d leave all over your face in the morning when you woke up.

you were his darling girl, pretty beyond words in the eyes of the eldest winchester, and it was an exhilarating thrill to be loved by him.

you even started to notice knowing looks from sam as he was around the two of you; an eyebrow raise when he’d catch you and dean holding hands underneath the table in the library, a small smile as he watched dean not so sneakily rub your back as the three of you casually talked. he’d even given you a small thumbs up once when dean wasn’t looking, almost as if he was giving his acceptance without even vocalizing it.

though it had happened very few times, for you and dean spent most of your moments together alone, in the confines of your bedroom.

it was that honeymoon stage; two people who come together after a long time, not wanting to be with anyone else but each other. you and dean saw so much of one another, you were surprised you haven’t gotten sick of him yet and vice versa.

but it wasn’t like that. you two genuinely enjoyed each others company, and didn’t even need to be doing much when you were with one another. wether that be watching a movie together, telling stories from when dean was a child and when you were still up in heaven, to just laying together, you and dean enjoyed every moment you spent wrapped up in each others arms.

though there was a nagging part of you that believed dean wasn’t being fulfilled. you’ve kissed before, gone into heavy make out sessions that’s left you breathless, but you’ve never done anything intimate. anytime your ministrations would get to heated, the moment’s charged air turning into something more, you’d push dean away. you’d say you were tired or wanted to watch a new movie, but you could tell dean knew what you actually meant.

it wasn’t that you didn’t want to with dean. you really, really did. but you were new to all of this, and honestly, you were scared.

anytime you thought of the idea of dean fucking you, it brought a nervous pit to your stomach. it would grow deeper and deeper into the core of your soul anytime you’d think of what it would feel like. would it hurt? would you enjoy it? or the worst of all, would dean be disappointed with it afterwards?

you knew you should talk to dean about it, that the conversation was inevitable, but you wanted to hold off for a bit, stay in this perfect utopia that you two had created in your bed.

that’s why as your movie night turned into another heated make out, you started to feel that spout of worry as dean’s lips started sliding down your collarbones, lips reaching the hem of your tank top above your breasts.

“dean, wait.” you breathed, caging his face in your hands as you lifted his face up. “i’m sorry i can’t do this.”

the worry in dean’s eyes was palpable, millions of possible reasons why you were saying that shining behind his eyes. in an instant, he got off of you, helping you so you were sitting up on the bed, his own body across from yours as he clutched his hand in yours. “what’s wrong, sweet girl. was it something i did?”

you immediately shook your head, clutching his hands tighter to give him so peace of mind. “no dean, this is completely me. i just need to tell you something.”

“of course. you can talk to me angel, i’m always here for you.” his encouraging words and soft eyes had a breath leaving your lips, palms growing sweaty as dean’s hands danced across your forearms.

“i’ve never had sex before!”

dean’s hands froze on your arms, eyes widening as he took in what you just said. immediately, he pulled you into his lap, your legs straddling his waist as his hands went to your hips.

“yeah, i could’ve guessed that angel. i didn’t expect heaven to be very lenient on angel fornication.” the smirk that adorned his lips at the last words had a nervous laugh bubbling from your lips, but it was halted as you felt dean’s fingers brush some of your hair back. “why did you feel the need to tell me that?”

his question wasn’t cruel, it was just pure, soft curiosity. he was allowing you to communicate with him, let all your worries and fears seep into his pores. you couldn’t help it, the words coming out like a tidal wave.

“i know you want to do it, that’s why,” you rushed out, hands moving about as you spoke at a quick pace. “and i’m worried you think i’m so prude who keeps stopping you anytime we get too close. what if it hurts? what if you don’t like doing it with me-“

“woah woah woah,” dean broke into your rant, fingers grabbing your chin to make you face him. “why would you think that? first of all, doing anything with you would feel more amazing than words could describe, so don’t ever think about that again, okay baby?”

you just nodded, letting him continue with what he wanted to say. “and secondly, i don’t think your some prude. i guessed you probably haven’t done it before, and i was waiting for when you gave the green light. i would never do something if you weren’t comfortable. so whenever your ready, tell me. i’ll always be here.”

a soft smile broke out onto your face, throwing yourself into dean’s chest as he hugged you back. as he held you tight, rubbing his hands through your hair, you realized that dean was the perfect person to have this moment with, and that you were ready for it. now.

“dean,” you breathed in his ear, feeling as he nodded against your head. “i think i’m ready now.”

he instantly pulled back, hands on your shoulders as he stared into your eyes, trying to see if there was any hesitation in your irises. “are you sure, angel? i don’t want you to feel pressured.”

“yes, i’m sure dean.” you smiled, hand brushing against his cheek as his own ran from your shoulders to your lower back. “i want to have this moment with you.”

in an instant, the air shifted. a more charged and heated atmosphere licking around the two of you. dean’s hands gripped onto your hips, slightly lifting off his lap and putting you back on your bed. “whatever you want, babydoll. i just need you to lay down for me okay?”

you nodded, leaning your body backwards before dean gripped onto your hips tighter, eliciting you to stop your movements. “i need words baby, i won’t do anything until you’re vocal with me.” a blush rippled through your cheeks at his lightly dominant tone, a soft, ‘okay’ leaving your lips before you rested your head against your pillows, dean getting on top of you, propping himself up on his hands until he was nose to nose with you.

“good girl.” he breathed, not letting you respond before his lips attacked yours in a punishing kiss. his mouth on yours was bruising, your lips having a hard time keeping up with his fast pace. though somehow, the kiss was still soft, a testament to this being your first time.

when dean’s lips started moving down your throat, sucking and biting at your sensitive skin and collarbones, you felt a little whine leave your throat. dean groaned at this, lifting his head up from your neck and going to remove his shirt.

“first time i’m hearing you like this and i’m hooked. can’t wait to hear what you sound like when i’m buried deep inside of you.”

his words were vulgar, not something a lot of people would like to hear. but it was dean, and the blush that coated your face said otherwise. his hands started messing with the hem of your tank top, indicating that he wanted it off.

tentatively lifting your arms, you felt the cold brush of air across your body as your bare chest was displayed to dean’s eyes. your shirt was thrown somewhere in the room as dean groaned again, his hands immediately going to cup your supple breasts. when his fingers started tweaking your nipples, a deep moan ripped from your throat, shocking you as dean just smirked at you.

“you sound so pretty baby,” he breathed, body sliding down yours as he rested his chin on your pelvis. “but i’m going to make you feel even better, okay? just need you to lift your hips for me.”

you obliged, feeling as dean’s warm fingers dipped into the waistband of your sleep shorts, slowly sliding them down your thighs. now left in only your lacy pink underwear, you watched as dean’s eyes raked up and down your body, a blown out expression on his face as he saw you mostly bare to him.

“so fucking beautiful,” he breathed out. a low sound that almost sounded like it was intended for just dean’s ears. “truly the sweetest thing.”

his words were amplified by his hands sliding down your thighs, spreading them open slowly so he could fit in between them. his fingers started messing with the waistband of your panties, fingers dipping below the fabric and sliding one of his fingers through your already slick folds.

you whimpered at the sensation, a volatile feeling that ripped through your body at the brush of dean’s hand. the man in question just smirked, pulling your underwear down all the way until your pussy was bared fully to him. “you’re already so wet, sweet thing. it’s fucking addicting.”

“dean please,” you whined, rutting your hips upward into his hand. “do something.”

“patience, darling girl.” he breathed, bending down and grabbing your thighs so he could put them over his shoulders. “i’m just getting started.”

his words were followed by a tentative lick throughout your folds, a hollow moan leaving your lips at the ministration. dean began lapping up your juices, hands gripping so tightly into your thighs you knew there was going to be a bruise in the morning.

the feeling of his mouth on your wet core was intoxicating, a feeling of such immobilizing pleasure you weren’t even sure if you could describe it. each flick of his tongue was met with a rut of your hips, your pelvis lifting towards the euphoric feeling of dean’s mouth.

“fuck dean,” you moaned, hands carding through his hair, tugging at the strands. the feeling elicited a groan from dean’s lips, making you moan louder as the feeling shot up into your core. “more, i need more.”

one of his fingers moved down to circle at your clit, making your moans become more frequent. the pleasure from both his tongue and finger was unbearable, a rippling pleasure that stirred in the depths of your gut. this was all so new, feelings you’ve never felt before, but you didn’t want it to stop, honestly mad you’ve never felt this good before.

when your hips rutted as dean’s tongue prodded at your entrance, allowing the tip of his tongue to enter your tight hole, you couldn’t contain the loud whine coming from your lips. this gave dean full permission to fully enter his tongue into your wet heat, finger still moving on your clit and making you see stars.

dean winchester was fucking you with his tongue, hands clasped tight on your shaking thighs, and you wouldn’t be anywhere right now but splayed on this bed, completely at his mercy.

when that tight coil in your stomach started to grow tighter, your moans grew louder, alerting dean that you were close to your orgasm. at that his tongue’s pace grew faster, flicking it back and forth inside of your gummy walls as his finger continued to prod and circle at your clit.

the feeling when your climax washed over you was like any other. that euphoria from before went all over your body; from your head to your fucking toes. a loud scream ripped from your lips, dean’s name leaving your lips like a prayer. your legs were shaking uncontrollably, legs clamping around dean’s head as his tongue slowly lapped up your juices, moaning into your mound at the taste of you.

“good fucking girl, baby.” you heard him breath out, head lifting from your cunt to look you in the eyes. his chin was glistening with your orgasm, and you couldn’t help but gap at the sight. “you taste so fucking good.”

you were panting heavy, watching as two of his fingers lapped up some of your juices, bringing them up to your lips. “taste yourself, pretty girl.” he smirked, watching as you stared down at him wide eyed. “see how fucking sweet you are.”

when your fingers wrapped around his fingers, you couldn’t help but moan around them. the salty taste of your release invaded your senses, alongside the feeling of dean’s fingers prodding at the back of your throat. you made direct eye contact with him as your tongue swirled around his finger, watching as his mouth parted and his chest heaved up and down.

you let his fingers go with a pop, watching as dean made quick work of taking his pants off, leaving him only in a pair of boxers.

“dean?” you breathlessly questioned, still coming down from your first orgasm. you watched as he lowered himself on top of you, peppering light kisses across your neck. “what are you doing?”

“you think you can take another one, babydoll?” your eyes widened his words, watching as he grinned at your reaction. “was just prepping you for my cock, sweet girl. but we can stop right now if you want, go further another night.”

“no,” you shook your head, lifting your bare cunt into dean’s hardened erection. “i wanna feel you inside of me dean, make me feel all good inside.”

dean moaned at your words, lifting himself a little ways off of you so he could slip his boxers down his legs. his member came into your eyesight, angry and red as it hit his stomach. he was big, and you were worried about how it was going to fit inside of you.

“okay baby,” he breathed out, rubbing his dick in between your folds and listening to you whine at the sensation. “relax for me, okay? this might hurt, so tell me when you want me to move okay?”

his constant reassurance made you smile, lightly leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. he reciprocated, deepening the kiss as he entered into your tight walls. the moan you released into his mouth was loud, muffled by his lips on yours. the stretch of dean’s dick was suffocating, a painful yet comforting sensation that you couldn’t help but pant at.

dean’s moan mixed with yours as he entered you, feeling like he was going to fucking burst right there. “jesus, angel, you’re so fucking tight.” his words came out through gritted teeth, his resolve slipping as your walls clenched around his intrusion.

dean had fully sheathed himself inside of you, the tip of his member pressing against your cervix. you looked down to where the two of you were connected, seeing a bulge in your tummy to where his dick rested inside of you.

as you got used to the feeling of dean inside of you, he was brushing his hand down your hair, whispering sweet words in your ear as you panted heavily into his ear.

after a couple of moments, the dull pain in your abdomen turned into a searing pleasure, making your pants turn into little whines. your whines came out in the form of dean’s name, your words coming out breathless. “move, please. i need you to move.”

“okay, i’ve got you baby. i’m right here.” dean’s words were followed by his hips retracting slowly out of you, only leaving the tip of his dick inside of you before he slowly rutted back into you. you let out of deep mewl, hands gripping onto dean’s shoulders and digging your hands into his back.

his first couple of thrusts were experimental, slowly pulling out and moving back in. the pleasure was blinding, nothing you’ve ever felt before, but as his slow thrusts continued, you needed more. tightening your legs around your waist, you melded your pelvis with dean’s, nails creating crescent shapes on his shoulders. “harder dean. please, i need you to fuck me harder.”

dean didn’t waste a second until his face was in between your shoulder a neck, hips snapping back into your walls at a bruising pace. the position of your hips left him slamming into your g-spot, high moans leaving your lips at every snap of dean’s hips.

“you feel so fucking good, sweets.” dean groaned into your neck, heavy breaths hitting your skin as he went impossibly deep. “gripping me so good and tight.” his hand went to press on the bulge in your stomach, and you felt nothing but bliss hit your senses

a loud and deep moan left your mouth, hips lifting up to meet dean’s hard thrusts. it was a back and forth movement, a delicious feeling that left you into a moaning mess. dean’s hands on your hips were bruising, and you could feel each of his thrusts move you up the mattress more and more.

the tight coil you felt before come back, moans growing louder and more frequent as your orgasm approached you. dean’s movements became more quick at the realization, mouth moving to your ear so he could groan into your ear.

“you gonna come darling girl? gonna milk my cock like the pretty thing you are? let me fill you with my seed?” his words had a high pitched whimper leaving your lips, your hips rutting faster into dean’s and your orgasm approaching even quicker. the sensation of dean thrusting deeply into you was otherworldly, the thick ridges and veins of his cock rubbing all the right places. his dick continuously hitting your g-spot.

one final, punishing thrust was what pushed you over the edge, a loud whimper leaving your lips as you came all around dean’s dick. your walls convulsed around dean as the sensation felt like a straight shot of bliss, slight overstimulation racking your body as dean continued to thrust into you, riding out your orgasm.

“fuck, angel,” dean groaned, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he panted heavily in your neck. “i’m gonna come.” grabbing dean’s face between your hands, you brushed your lips against his as small whines left your lips. “come in me dean, fill me up,”

your words had dean coming with a groan, his body dropping on top of yours as he panted heavily into your mouth. the feeling of his seed filling you was euphoric, your legs falling from his hips as you came down from your high.

as both you and dean came down from your highs, dean still laid on top of you as his softening dick rested inside of your walls, you felt a deeper sense of connection between you two. dean saw you at your most vulnerable, came inside of you and brought you towards that blinding pleasure. this moment allowed you to feel even more comfortable with the man, fully solidifying your love.

“i promised to never lie to you, angel,” dean spoke softly, lifting his head from your neck to cup your cheek. “and i can’t lie now and say that i don’t love you.”

a lone tear fell down your face at his confession, hands leaving his shoulders to card through his hair. “i’ve never experienced love like this before, but i think it feels like the sensation running through my soul right now.”

dean let a bright smile adorn his face, leaning down to press a deep kiss on your lips. you would’ve never guessed all this to happen when you landed beneath the willow tree, a crazy thought to think about how you two started off with hatred, you believing the man who just took your virginity hated you. though now, you knew that was never the case.

you knew dean winchester loved you, and that he was the reason you fell in love for the first time.

TAGS: @floralscented @deansbeer @titsout4jackles @haunteres @honeyryewhiskey @starzify @figthoughts @fallbhind @rubyvhs @foolinthera1n @taurus-0-queenie-33 @vaiieydoii @bitchykittenconnoisseur @galacticalllcafffeine @jasvtsc @pascal-rascal424 @annoyingstrawberryballoon @fayeisuppose @angel-inspiredblog @geisterfvhrer @bluemerakis @si1ver06 @drqstqr @wh0s-ra3 @supernatural-bangtanboys @whump-loverz @mostlymarvelgirl @d3anwinchesterswife @youdontknowe @oceanolokys @chxrrybobaby-sin @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing @hoyoooo @mimiimmii

*i didn’t want to make this too long, so i’m sorry if it’s a little rushed😭 either way, thank you all for the love on when angel falls in love!! idk when my next series will be, but after all the love i got from this one, it will definitely be soon!!

[b00tyliciousbabe]

waves

pairing: surfer!bf x THICC!male reader

summary: oh, how i need a tall, curly headed goofball…

notes: HOPE MY LOVELIES ARE DOING WELL. trying to get through my requests, but this was a personal one of mine. slowly but surely y’all! as summer is coming to an end, it was SO necessary for me to feed my hot girl delusions at least a couple more times. also, enjoy the new style i have been experimenting with!

song rec: they. - diamonds and pearls

album rec: sabrina carpenter - short n sweet (my girl sabz ate so hard with this project, i just wish it was released in early aug so she could’ve rly CONQUERED summer 2024) THEE POP PRINCESS!

brief background:

your boyfriend was raised with a silver spoon; he’d never had to work a day in his life and everything he ever wanted, he got. well, everything except you. throwing money to impress people had worked on all of his other childhood crushes, but not you, which made him all the more determined to prove to you he wasn’t just some fuck boi the media painted him out to be. his family owned the richest resort in the carribean, and had hotels in every mega city worldwide. but wherever they travelled to, your man was never too far from a beach. call it fate, but the sea would always lead you back to him. it was where he first laid eyes on you; reading a very lengthy novel as you laid on the sand, watching your friends play in the water. after their surf practice, your mutual friends introduced the two of you and you were SMITTEN - but you couldn’t show your interest too soon. he too was whipped, and didn’t take nearly as much effort to hide it, practically drooling whilst staring at you. his mates would constantly ridicule him for his dazed expression around you, and he could never hear the end of the new nickname ‘bambi boy’ you gave him because he looked so cute when he was flustered. after weeks of regular conversation and a couple walks on the beach, he officially asked to be your boyfriend and you said yes.

when it came to finally introducing you to his family, they loved you almost as much as he did. he was the youngest of six and so he got the privilege of this. his parents especially were wishing y’all would stay together. they believed you were the perfect match for their goofball of a son.

core memory sfw:

the first time he said ‘i love you’ with TRUE meaning; you were always worried that you were just one fuck away from being forgotten, but your man made sure to constantly affirm his love for you. he brought you the biggest bouquet of your favourite flowers, and stood outside in the pouring rain, playing a mixtape he’d made for you. it was genuinely a scene out of a film, he was your knight in shining armour (a hawaiian shirt and matching shorts) and it was then that you knew that you guys were endgame.

core memory nsfw:

to say your bf loves your body is an understatement. the way he’s hooked on your body, some might say it’s borderline unhealthy. he’s so handy and keeps his hands on your ass all the time. whether it’s a spank, watching it jiggle as you walk away from him, or a full on grip as his pulls you onto his dick, he’s a man that would gladly die between your cheeks. one time during dinner you wore a wrap skirt paired with a tank top, paired with a thong that was peeping out enough to make your man’s eyes pop out of his head like a cartoon character. as his jaw dropped, practically salivating at the sight of your body moving closer to him, you picked it up and giggled, stroking his chin endearingly. for the entire meal he was practically sat right next to you, breathing in your luscious skin. ‘boy, you better calm down, we have company.’ you giggled. ‘fuck bby, how can you say that when you look good enough for me to eat?’ he whispered into your ear, trying not to bring too much attention. before you knew it you were face down, ass up and your thong was pulled to the side, as he used it as a pseudo leash keeping your pussy bouncing on his cock.

your favourite thing about him: his oddball nature.

as much as it can annoy you that he’s always cracking jokes, leaving no room for respite, your bf never fails to bring joy to your life. as the life of the party he’s always bringing that much needed energy to the dull world of his mostly corporate family. whether it be seeing you hollering at some unhinged thing he’d said, or watching him (ironically) fuck the smile onto your lips, you can tell that comedy is who he is, and you wouldn’t change your weirdo for anything.

his favourite thing about you: how artistic you are.

almost impossibly, it makes your boyfriend fall in love with you even more seeing your creativity flourish. you’re always making him jewellery out of the shells and stones you find. he loves to wear them, it gets you going when you see the necklace you made for him swing back and forth as he fucks into you. or when you feel the cold of his rings and bracelet on your waist as he holds you in position to fuck you even harder. he’s so proud of you.

his insta post: mostly just him showing off his good looks (we love a cocky man around here) and his beach flix.

surfer!bf my face is his favourite seat.

y/n: that big dick is a very close second though.

tinashe replied: @y/n, you a nasty girl fr.

sabrinacarpenter replied: @y/n girl, need you on that bed chem remix. about to do some damage…in a good way x

your insta post: almost always pictures of your creations; you like to keep your relationship with him private, that’s YOUR man, and you can get very possessive.

y/n feel free to add to your pinterest boards.

surfer!bf: baby you’re so talented 🩵

viviennewestwood: so excited to see your next collection!

surfer!bf: i love you.

y/n replied: @surfer!bf aw, i love you too babes!

plans for the future!

being with one of the greatest surfers in the world, definitely came with some amazing perks.

marriage:

oh, he’s 100% thought about it, and would definitely be the one to propose. the free spirit in him doesn’t need a piece of paper to prove that he loves you, truly. But would totally be your husband if you let him x

children:

your surfer!bf ABSOLUTELY WANTS TO HAVE A FAMILY WITH YOU! sees himself as the best father and y’all would have the cutest kids ever.

tag list:

@gayaristocrat

@multireese

@malereadermaniac

@lysanderplume

@ghostking4m

[uhohdad]

I'm not too sure if requests are on at the moment (feel free to ignore this if they aren't, if you're uncomfortable with the request, or if you're simply uninterested, my sweet! 🫂)

What are your thoughts on Loser!König with a cuckold fetish? Who loves being humiliated? Who loves watching his girlfriend get fucked by another man? I'm not too sure if this crosses your boundaries or anything, so don't feel pressured to respond! (⁠T⁠T⁠) ♡

After all, König is a useless virgin, or at least he lacks experience in the bedroom. He can't properly please you or drag an orgasm out of you, because he comes embarrassingly quickly, practically huffing and puffing through his second orgasm while you're wincing at the sheer size of König and the splitting pain between your soft, warm thighs. He barely lasts two minutes – if that at all. He's been deprived of pussy and sex, please understand him, Mauschen!

He gets off knowing that his girlfriend is satisfied, despite the envy and jealousy burning within him, as well as the shame and disgust that follows that he can't properly please you, mainly due to his size and lack of experience. As long as you let him eat you out afterwards and clean up that man's filth using his tongue, then it's alright. Just run your fingers through his tangled hair and let him fall asleep with his throbbing, swollen boner leaking all over you. 🌷

orla i love your beautiful mind also i am SO sorry this took so long <3

(18+) Loser!König x Reader x Ghost - Cuckholding

Even though he’s straining against his boxers, you still have to tie König down to the chair in the corner of the room to prevent him from losing his cool. His fists clenched on the arms of the chair, teeth grit and grinding as he watches Simon bury his cock into you like he owns it.

He might as well, because König certainly isn’t pleasuring you. Hasn’t managed to give you an orgasm once. Skipping crucial warm-up to shove his eager, thick cock into a cunt that’s far too tight and unprepared. Burying his finish into you before the first tear can even well in your eyeline. Maybe the apology he mutters into your skin afterwards is genuine, but it certainly doesn’t lend to correcting his behavior the next time.

“Fuck, that’s it, love.”

Simon’s grunts are restrained and ravenous, deep and gravelly in your ear.

“Just needed someone who knows what they’re doing, yeah?”

Through the blur of each degrading slam into your cunt from behind, you catch sight of König, his half-lidded eyes projecting pure loathing as he watches you bounce on his rival’s cock. Jaw tight at your pathetic, squeaky moans and his thighs rubbing together to release the aching throb in his cock.

“You’re dripping, love. Soaking this fucking cock.”

Simon ends his praise on a grunt, an extra rough series of slams into your plush ass. König is gifted the intoxicating image of your eyes rolling into the back of your head, your hands clawing at the sheet in pleasure for once, a feat he’s yet to achieve.

König’s flushed with jealously, skin burning with envy, watching Simon one-up him with his girlfriend’s pleasure. The stuttered moans that leave you are desperate, entirely succumb to his skilled cock. Rough and brute in the right way. His balls are slapping against your clit at the perfect angle, coaxing whines from your raw throat with each bottom out.

“Feel good, sweetheart?”

“Yes - yes!”

Simon gives a pleased hum, rubbing it in by shooting König a smug stare and cocky grin.

“Your girl is so tight and wet f’me.”

König’s eyes flare, his muscles tight and shaking in rage, teeth threatening to crumble under the pressure.

“Simon - Close! So close!”

“That’s a good girl, love, cum on this cock.”

The cry that leaves you is deafening and stuttered by Simon’s abusive cock bullying your g-spot. Limp and pliant to the strong hands on your hips as the pleasure swallows you whole, a white heat that sends jolts of euphoria from your core to the rest of your useless body.

“Such a good girl,” He coos softly, a sharp contrast to the cruel cock that pounds your sensitive cunt.

“I know it’s been too long.”

You can’t even respond, cock-drunk and strung-out on your bliss. Simon leans down, pressing his firm, warm chest to your back, his lips in your ear.

“Gonna’ fill that pretty cunt.”

His ruthless cock bottoms out with each thrust, his hips a blur and the slap of flesh on flesh echoing throughout the room until he presses himself flush to your ass, cock entirely buried in you with a finish deep into your cunt, filling you with his messy, greedy finish.

He gives three final thrusts to stuff his cum in you, his nails digging into your hips when he finally wavers. His cock is pulsing and twitching, pulling out of your overstimulated cunt before slapping his arousal and cum-soaked cock against your thighs and leaving you with a handprint on your ass cheek.

Simon wipes off his sweat with a towel, tossing it in König’s lap as he heads for the door.

“Better get to cleaning, Lover Boy.”

♡ KÖNIG DRABBLE MASTERLIST ♡

lovely dividers by @saradika-graphics

[muffinpink02]

Guess who

You want your girlfriend’s (Alexia’s) attention, so you decide to be a brat. But she goes one better and invites a few other teammates to help with your ‘punishment.’

Warnings : Smut , 18+ blindfold, fingering, strap, orgasm denial, cunnilingus, restraint and more. No real story just smut.

The club lights beamed over your face as you danced to the music, glowing in your win. Barcelona had won Liga F, the last two goals were your own, you were close to getting a hactric but the football gods didn’t allow it today. The win was enough.

You celebrated in the changing rooms, champagne was sprayed over the group, you wasn’t sure if it was Lucy or Ingrid, maybe it was both of them. The team of course took the celebrations to a fancy night club. As soon as you arrived the drinks were flowing quick and fast, shots were passed to you from every angle. You were feeling the alcohol but mostly feeling the pride of winning. Maybe it was the excitement from winning or the drink in your system that got you riled up.

You knew you shouldn’t have done it.

The look on her face was enough to put the fear in god. But you wanted her attention, and instead of telling her, instead of asking her like the good girl you were meant to be, you decided to be bratty.

And it worked, you got her attention, her hazel eyes bore into yours as you pressed up against one of the girls on the squad. You wasn’t sure who it was and you didn’t really care, you had pressed your body up against half the team at this point, the liquor in your veins giving you that sense of blind bravery.

You had pressed your backside into Mapi’s front, her tattooed covered arms, swept up your body. Grinding your arse deliciously into her core, smiling wickedly when you heard her moan. You had put your arms around Lucy’s strong shoulders, faces inches from each others, dancing like it was only you two in the room. You even had Ona up against your front, whispering sweet nothings into her ear, making her blush and giggle like a school girl. Nobody would think too much into it, it was normal amongst the team to dance like that. You may have been extra touchy with the three brunettes but everyone was too drunk to notice, except one person.

Alexia watched it all. All of it just for some attention.

She allowed you to keep it up, dancing with everyone in the club. You were a little disappointed that she hadn’t dragged you to the closest bathroom and fucked you until you begged her to stop, but maybe she was saving that for later.

Once the night was over and you were in the back of an Uber with Alexia’s hand between your legs, her fingers gently circling your thighs, you couldn’t help but feel a little worried. You watched the Spaniard looking out the window, she was deep in thought, concentration on her face. But to feel her touch was a good sign, surely she couldn’t be too upset if she wanted to touch you. She hadn’t said much to you, just a short conversation asking if you were ready to leave, and that the Uber had arrived. But she was eerily quiet.

You started to worry if Alexia was genuinely hurt, you only did it to get her riled up. It wasn’t like this was the first time you had made her jealous to get her attention. You had flirted with your team mates before tonight. It would mostly consist of an extra touch to Lucy’s arm when she was talking to you, or laughing extra hard at Mapi’s jokes, and yeah, you liked to pick Ona up from behind, making her squeal and blush. It wasn’t too obvious for anyone to notice, just enough that Alexia would notice.

And you knew she liked it, you both got a kick out of it. You loved nothing more than when Alexia reminded you who you belonged to, reminding you whose name you screamed when you were on the edge of blacking out from pure bliss. You would fuck each other senseless, and you gave one another endless pleasure, it was your thing. But was tonight too much? Had you pushed it? Had the dancing been a step too far? You just wanted her to get her possessive side out, it was your favourite side after all.

When you finally got home you braced yourself to be shoved against a wall, a tongue down your throat, but it never came. Alexia dropped her keys in the bowl and walked towards your bedroom.

“I’m going to shower amor meu.”

You were quick on her heels, not sure on what to do, you felt needy but you couldn’t help it. The Spaniard had started to strip in the bathroom, you watched, not able to take your eyes off her strong, beautiful body.

“Would you like some company?” You asked voice a little shakey.

She turned to look at you, a playful smile set on her face. “Always, baby. Strip.”

You were naked within seconds, you stood in front of the blonde, hot water washing over both your bodies. Your hands were on her straight away, you just needed to feel her skin, desperate to feel her touch. You looked up at her, those hazel eyes were warm, the smile on her face made your insides melt, making you instantly feel calmer. She pulled you closer to her, you exhaled a breath you didn’t release you were holding.

“Did you have fun tonight, baby?” Alexia asked.

“Lots of fun, I’m actually still a bit tipsy. Did you?” You said it while you kissed her neck.

She chuckled at your drunken honesty. “Sí, I had fun. Your goals were amazing. You played so well. I’m very proud of you.” She purred in your ear. Your eyes closed as she kissed your forehead.

You couldn’t stop the smile on your face. It always meant a lot to you when Alexia complimented your football skills. “Thank you, Ale.”

The worry of upsetting Alexia slowly slipped away, maybe she just wasn’t in the mood for that kind of intimacy tonight, she had played the full 90 minutes of the game plus extra time. So maybe it wasn’t what she wanted, and that was fine with you, even if you did feel like a horny teenager right now.

Her hands cupped your face, bringing you to her lips. The kiss was soft and sweet she gently swiped her tongue over your lips, asking for entry. You opened your mouth allowing her tongue to roam your own. The kisses were gentle and intimate, she pulled small sighs from your mouth as her tongue caressed your own. Alexia’s lips always made you melt, no matter where they were on your body. From your mouth, to your stomach, to in between your legs, she knew how to work her tongue.

She pushed a little deeper, the kiss becoming a little more heated. You tried to keep up with her movements, but she was starting to dominate the kiss, your breathing started to become ragged. Her hand came up to the back of your neck, guiding you to the tiled wall, you gasped as your back hit the cold tiles, but she only swallowed it.

This is exactly what you wanted, you had wanted her mouth, her hands, her body, everything that was Alexia, you had wanted her all night. Your plan had clearly worked, maybe she was as turned on as you. You began to moan as her lips collided with yours, she bit hard on your bottom lip, making you whimper loudly. She looked down at you, happy to see your lips were now red and swollen, she pushed her hips on yours and began to rock, her eyes never leaving yours.

She took your hands in one of her own, raising them above your head. She moved her free hand to your lips, stroking her thumb gently where she bit you. She was looking at you with such an intensity it almost scared you.

“You’re so beautiful.” She whispered.

You felt your cheeks blush, you casted your eyes down, suddenly feeling shy.

“Thank you. You’re beautiful too.”

She hummed, her eyes roaming your face, like she was really looking at you, every bit of you. She cupped your chin raising your head, she started to kiss your neck, her gentleness disappeared again. She bit down hard, not enough to hurt but enough to make you whimper. Your arms were still above your head, she was holding you tightly, clearly not wanting you to move. Her free hand slithered down your wet body, stroking your skin, she cupped your pussy, making you groan.

“Ale. Please.”

“Is this what you want?”

You nodded, your teeth between your lips, so desperate for her.

“You looked so good dancing tonight baby.”

Fuck.

“You looked liked you enjoyed yourself with the girls. Especially with Mapi, Lucy and Ona.” She pushed her finger right on your clit making you jolt.

Fuck, there it was.

“Did you like dancing with them? Hmm? It looked liked you really enjoyed yourself. Is that what you want? One of them to fuck you? Make me watch?”

It wasn’t a secret between you and Alexia that you maybe had a little thing for each of the brunettes. Nothing serious, you could just appreciate a good looking woman when you saw one. You had spoken about it before, in the safety of your bed sheets, after a couple hours of screaming each other’s names. And in the midst of your ogasmic haze she then of course asked if you would ever have sex with any of them, and even though you blushed at first you admitted you would. Alexia of course wasn’t jealous, she just made sure to keep a note.

But you had never spoken about them like this, not while you was being intimate. Normally the mild flirting at training just made Alexia want you, punish by you a little, but maybe tonight had sparked something different?

She rolled her hips hard, wanting a response from you.

The move made you moan, your mouth was suddenly dry, you swallowed on nothing. You hoped if you told the truth Alexia would give you what you had wanted all night. Should you admit that you had thought about each girl when you were dancing with them? Should you admit that you liked it? Admit that you loved the way Alexia watched you when you had yourself wrapped up in each of the girls? You tried to look away, now suddenly feeling shy. The alcohol was still in your system but the cocky bravado had disappeared, now all that was left was a tail between your legs and your submissive side showing its face.

Even though Alexia was very possessive of you, she would never make you feel any type of way for your attraction to someone. It was a natural thing to feel, you are attracted to women for godsakes, you can appreciate beauty when you see it. The thing is you didn’t realise how much Alexia had enjoyed watching you with the girls, how much she liked the thought of you with them.

But the look she gave you maybe gave it away. She looked almost hopeful, like she already knew the answer and just wanted to hear you to say it out loud.

Your heart thumped as you said it. “Yes. I liked it, I liked you watching.”

She hummed again, her fingers stroked over your lips, making your skin prickle with goosebumps. “So. You want one of them here? Sí? Touching you like this?” She dipped a single finger into your folds, still not giving you any friction.

You met her eyes this time, you panicked. “No, Ale. Only you.”

“Oh? Do you not want them now? You danced with soo many, have you forgotten?“

“No, I do. I-I d-don’t know.” You panted as she circled her finger just slightly over your clit.

“No baby, you told me already. Don’t lie.”

“Yes, I do. I want them to fuck me.” You whispered.

“Who baby?”

“Ma-Mapi, LUCY! Fuck!” She pushed two fingers hard inside your cunt. “And, a-and Ona.”

She hummed again, her pupils dilated twice the size, making her hazel eyes nearly black. She pumped roughly into you, her fingers slapping hard against your pussy, but it was short lived. She pulled out of you, leaving you wet and desperate. You looked up at her as she grabbed her towel, the smile she gave you was dangerous.

—————

The next couple of days were hell, well, not hell but Alexia wouldn’t have sex with you.

So, it was basically hell.

Every time you tried to initiate it, she stoped you in your tracks. She didn’t stop you kissing or getting handsy but that’s as far as it got. And to be frank It was driving you crazy, you had wanted her since the night club, so to say you was horny was an understatement.

You knew it wasn’t personal, she was punishing you, and of course she would tease the fuck out of you, she flaunted her body around the house, half naked, or sometimes completely naked. She would make sure to push up against you, pushing her core into your arse as you cooked dinner, purring into your ear. And of course she acted innocent to it all, like it was nothing, like she wasn’t driving you crazy. You wasn’t even allowed to touch yourself and release some of your tension, of course Alexia wouldn’t allow it, this was a punishment and you were definitely paying for it.

You got a taste of your own medicine when Alexia began to use your own tricks on the three brunettes. You watched in practice as she spoke to them, easily flirting with them like it was nothing. You knew she had something up her sleeve, she was of course doing it on purpose, knowing you were watching. The no sex punishment had been done before, even though you missed her touch you knew she was going to make it worth it, but it had been six days!

Finally, on the 9th day she broke.

It had been the longest time you hadn’t had sex with each other. And honestly you were staring to climb the walls, you knew you needed to be punished, but nine days without Alexia was torture. Especially when she was right in front of you, it wasn’t like she was away for a trip, she was in touching distance.

It was after a day of training, you stepped out the shower, Alexia was laying on her side of the bed, phone in hand already dressed from her own shower. She was wearing the shorts that rode up her arse, the shorts you loved and a vest top that showed off the bottom of her gorgeous stomach. Fuck. This was hard, just looking at her made your pussy throb.

Hazel eyes caught your own as you walked to your side of the bed. She had a playful smile on her face, the smile that gave you butterflies. You sat on your side of the bed, drying yourself off, trying to ignore your horny thoughts. That’s when you heard the sheets rustle, the bed started to dip behind you.

“Are you sorry?” She purred into your ear, making you shiver.

You fiercely nodded your head. “I’m sorry, Ale.” You didn’t care if you sounded desperate. 9 days!

She hummed, happy with your response, she moved to your side of the bed, and sat in your lap, her beautiful bare thighs sat on the either side of your own.

“I’ve missed you.” You whispered.

“Hmm do you think you’ve learnt your lesson? Seràs bo per a mi?”

You nodded, so desperate for the girl in front of you. “Yes. I’ll be soo good.”

She smiled at you, her smile seemed giddy, she scrapped your hair back behind your ear, bringing her mouth to yours. It was a heated and messy kiss, she pushed you on your back, grinding her clothed pussy on to your stomach. You held onto her hips, helping her movements but she didn’t stay for long. She was off of your lap, walking towards your toy box, you felt your pussy clench at the thought of Alexia fucking you with her strap.

“Get into the middle of the bed, hands up.”

You did as you were told. It wasn’t a secret that you liked being tied up, well, liked was an understatement. You loved it. Alexia had learnt early on in your relationship that it was one of your biggest turn ons. She would have you tied up for hours, using your body how she wanted. She especially loved it when you had been a brat, she would punish you as she pleased. Like this very moment.

Alexia walked over to you, a bounce in her step and a very amused smile on her face, she looked more excited than normal, maybe even nervous, you couldn’t really read her face. Before you could ask if she was okay, she grabbed your hands and with the perfect knot she tide you wrists to the bed frame above your head. You attempted to move but she had done this countless times, the knot was perfect.

“You look so good like this baby.” She kissed your lips softly. She quickly moved to the box grabbing some more toys, you then noticed she had the black blind fold in her hand. You didn’t hate the blindfold but there was nothing better than watching Alexia take what she wanted from you. You swore you could come half the time just by watching her, so the blindfold wasn’t your favourite but you wasn’t about to argue.

“Perfecte” Complete darkness took over, not a bit of light came through the blind fold. The darkness slowly making your other senses heighten. You could hear Alexia’s footsteps around the room, you were waiting to hear the belts of the harness or a vibrator go on, but there was nothing. Until you heard the front door go, making you panic slightly.

“Ale? Who’s that? I didn’t order anything.”

You then felt her hand grip your chin softly, her mouth was near your ear. “We have company baby. They’re here for you.”

Your body tensed up, what did she mean they were here for you? Your mind went a mile a minute. Alexia must have seen the panic on your face, you felt her come closer to you, stroking your hair back gently.

“Since you wanted to be a whore and tease me like a little brat, you’re going to be treated like one. But not just by me, maybe you can guess what teammate of ours is going to help me?”

Your brain couldn’t keep up, you heard what Alexia said but you just couldn’t comprehend. Was she really telling you she had one of the Barca girls outside? Waiting to fuck you? With Alexia? Together? You hated yourself for it but your body reacted just the way Alexia clearly knew it would. But she took your silence for worry.

“Hey, we don’t have to actually do this, I can tell them to leave, and I can unt-.”

“No. No, I want this. I’m green. I want this.”

Alexia would never put you up to something you didn’t want to do, you were both completely honest in your relationship and that didn’t change with sex. When you first got together you had spoken for hours about what you liked, what you didn’t like, safe words, and your kinks. That’s also when she learned you were submissive and she was more dominant, but you could still switch it up when you both wanted to, making you work perfectly together.

After the talk in the shower she had an idea, an idea she knew you’d like. She knew you had enjoyed yourself the other night, she knew you had thought about the girls in intimate ways, and for a while she had thought about watching you with said girls. So she decided to turn the fantasy into a reality.

You couldn’t see it but Alexia’s smile was wide. She stroked your hair back once more, placing a quick kiss to your lips. “Are you sure cariño?”

You trusted Alexia with your life and your body, so you knew you could trust whoever she was allowing to share you with. It made your love grow for Alexia tenfold, you both could be exactly who you wanted to be, no judgement, no jealousy.

“So sure Ale. Who is it?”

She tutted playfully. “Let’s just say say she’s brunette and you danced with her the other night. I’ll be right back, I need to let them in.”

You listened to Alexia leaving the room, you couldn’t believe what was happening. Your body was tingling all over, you was about to have sex with someone and not even get to see them. You wondered who it could be. You rattled your brain, thinking about who you danced with most that night. Also who would agree to this?

You remember dancing with most of the girls, so this would be difficult. Though, you do remember dancing with Mapi a lot, but also Lucy and even Ona. Those were the three you were the most intimate with…. also the three you told Alexia you wanted to fuck! That’s when it hit you, you told Alexia when you were in the shower after the night out. You had completely forgotten about that conversation, still being slightly tipsy at the time. That’s why she must have been flirting, well, talking to them more at practice. Had one of them really agreed to this?

After about five long minutes, you heard footsteps walk in to the bedroom, you suddenly felt exposed. You was completely naked, your body for all to see and you didn’t even know who was looking at you.

“I’m still here, amor meu, and so is our guest. She knows your safe words and what you don’t like. Not that there’s much.” You could hear the teasing in Alexia’s voice.

She continued. “She isn’t going to talk to you, she’s knows it’s your punishment, so don’t try any funny business. Are you going to be a good girl for her Please her?”

You nodded, you could feel your pussy getting wet. Was this really happening?

“Words, baby.”

“I’m going to be good.”

“Good girl. Our guest can’t wait to have you. She wants to taste you.”

The thumping in your heart was loud, you was sure Alexia and whoever was in the room could hear it, or even see your chest moving from the beat. Excited wasn’t the word, you didn’t have the words for how you felt, but the willingness to please was overwhelming.

You could hear shuffling, the bottom of the bed dipped at your feet. Your breathing quickened, you could feel someone was coming closer to you, that’s when you felt the hand on your leg, making you flinch. The hand stroked you soothingly, trying to calm your nerves. Then you felt a pair of lips, a pair of soft gentle lips on your knee, instantly making you hot. You could feel the girl breathing on your skin, almost as hard and erratic as your own. Your body eased a little but you couldn’t help but still feel slightly vulnerable, as much as you was in your own wet dream this was still new.

You couldn’t help but wonder who the lips belonged to. You had never kissed anyone else on the team but Alexia. It was hard to tell from a pair of lips who it could be.

The pair of lips started to slowly creep up your leg, then another hand came to your other leg, slightly opening your thighs. You could feel your legs shaken in anticipation, you tried to relax your muscles and let yourself be taken. She started to kiss up your thigh, slowly getting closer to your pussy. You knew you were already wet, and whoever was between your legs would see it for themselves.

Just as you got ready for the feeling of her tongue, she kissed right over your core, and up your stomach. Taking small bites of your skin, making you whimper. Her hot mouth was suddenly on your nipple, making your back arch off the mattress below. The sucking was gentle, nothing like Alexia, she was always rough with your nipples, something you loved . But the softness made you whimper, wanting more.

“Sones tan bé amor meu, t'estàs passant?” Alexia’s voice sounded close.

“Yes.” You breathed out.

“Good.” You could hear the smile in her voice.

Her mouth continued to work gently on your perked nipples, giving them generous attention, she licked, sucked and softly bit at your flesh, working your body up. She started to kiss up your neck, taking small bites on your skin. Your mind was going a mile a minute, you still couldn’t work out who it was. Without your hands this would be difficult, and Alexia had clearly told them to not make any noise. If you had maybe heard a moan or a sigh or something, you could put a face to it, but she had clearly been thorough with them.

She started to move back down your body, hopefully to where you needed her most. The lips were gentle and slow. This girl was soft with her mouth, making your body melt at her touch. Whoever she was she had made your body completely relaxed making you forget about any anxious feelings you had. Just as you began to relax her mouth was gone, her hands moved around your thighs, opening you wider to her. You could tell she was close to your pussy, the bed dipped just under your arse. That’s when you felt her breathing on your lips, your very wet lips.

Once again you wondered who she was. You had a girl who you trained with, who you saw nearly every day, who you called a team mate, a friend, in between your legs. You didn’t have much time to think on it, you felt a warm tongue glide into your wet folds. You couldn’t stop the moan that escaped your lips. She kept her tongue slow, just taking you in, tasting this new flavour, tasting you on her tongue.

She licked at you slowly, licking everywhere but your clit, wanting to work you up, wanting to work out what you liked. It was an odd feeling having someone’s tongue caress your pussy when you didn’t know who it was. The thought of Alexia watching the act made you even wetter, you could only imagine her face. Was she touching herself? Was she enjoying it? Was she going to join in? Or did she regret it?

The tongue between your legs gently dipped into your core, making you groan, she was so soft, just teasing your muscles. You couldn’t help but rock your hips into her face, trying to make a point that you wanted more. You could have sworn you felt her smile into your core as you felt her hands tighten on your thighs, pulling you closer to her. She must have got the message as she pushed her tongue deeper into you. You let out a deep moan as she started to fuck you with her tongue.

Fuck, she was good.

She took one long lick from your core to your clit, her lips wrapping around your swollen bundle of nerves. You couldn’t hold back the moans as she ate you out. You pulled at your ropes wanting to touch her, but you knew Alexia had you locked in.

“Oh, my god. S-so good. Don’t stop, please.”

You felt a squeeze on your thighs, a small communication between the two of you, making you wonder once again who she was, as her mouth rocked on you gently. She was so delicate and soft but she seemed like she could switch it up from her body language, giving you what you wanted. Whoever it was she could eat pussy like it was second nature.

You could feel your stomach start to tighten, your legs started to shake, your orgasm slowly building up. She must have felt it, deciding to dip her tongue back into your cunt then dragging it back up to your clit. Your hips rolled into her mouth, but she held you down easily, you could feel she was strong, but you knew all three of the women were strong, still giving you no indication on who she could be.

That’s when you felt your climax grow, your breathing quickened, small whimpers tumbled out of your mouth, a tell, tell sign you was close.

“She’s close.” Alexia’s voice was soft and full of arousal, you could hear it from a mile away.

Finally, the girl sucked on your clit, giving you the friction you needed, she bopped her head up and down giving your clit a suction that was just perfect.

“Fuck. I’m coming, please don’t stop.”

She never did, her beautiful mouth stayed where you needed her, making your own mouth water. Your head rolled against your arms as your pleasure took over. Your whole body shook, your hips started to rut against her mouth, but she held you down making sure not to leave your clit. You breathed hard, the beautiful pleasure ran over your body, making you groan loudly.

Your hips slowly stopped grinding, you could feel your juices dripping, but she didn’t let it go to waste. Her tongue dipped into you again, gently taking everything she wanted from you. You keened, you were so sensitive, but you could tell she was trying to be soft. She stayed there for a little while just licking at your juices, dipping her tongue into your hole, you couldn’t help but start to grind into her tongue, feeling yourself wanting to go again.

Once again Alexia’s voice dropped into your ears. “You’re such a greedy girl. Our guest wants your mouth bebita. Are you ready to please her?” Alexia’s voice was closer now, still dripping with arousal, maybe she didn’t regret this.

You nodded quickly. “Yes.”

“What’s your colour love?”

“Green.”

“Good. Because she told me she’s wanted your mouth for the longest time. She wants to sit on your face. She’s going to ride you until she comes. Make sure you’re good for her. Make her feel as good as she made you.”

You nodded again. “I will.” Your pussy squeezed at the thought of someone riding your face. Using you for their own pleasure.

You felt the bed dip again, you could feel her move closer to your top half, kissing your chest as she got higher. All of a sudden you felt hands near your head, then something small in your ears. Music was suddenly playing, making you jump. The first couple notes started and you knew it was yours and Alexia’s bedroom playlist. You realised your air pods had been put in your ears, you wasn’t allowed to hear. Clearly the guest wasn’t able to keep quiet for this part.

You felt fingers dip into your hair, then her thighs were either side of your arms. She gently lowered herself onto your mouth, connecting her pussy to your lips. Your tongue darting out instantly. She was wet and she tasted amazing, you couldn’t help but moan at the taste of her. Fingers gripped at your hair, you could tell she liked your moaning, you moaned again right on her sensitive clit, sending vibrations through her, giving her extra pleasure. That’s when you felt her start to gently rock her hips into your mouth. You then felt her free hand grasp onto your bound one, her fingers intertwined with your own. Making it feel more intimate, even though you had no idea who was riding your face.

Once again your mind was blown away, you had a girl ridding your face and you had no clue who she was. Well, you knew she was one of three, Mapi, Lucy or Ona and apparently one of them had wanted your mouth for the longest time. You licked up at her clit, slowly like she did, you made sure to keep a good pace, wanting to make her feel as good as she did you. The music in your ears wasn’t too distracting but you wish you could have heard her. Was she loud? Was she quiet? Was she talking to you? You loved hearing Alexia moan when your mouth was on her.

She moved up, pushing herself down on your tongue, fucking herself with your mouth. You laid there, being used for someone else’s pleasure, someone was getting off from your body and you didn’t even have the pleasure of sight or sound. Alexia knew you better than you realised, this was the best punishment you had ever had, minus the blind fold, but you knew that was your punishment, not being able to see. You were having one of your biggest fantasies play out in front of you, but not getting to see or really be involved was her way of still having control.

The fingers in your hair stroked at your scalp, making you shiver. She scooped your hair into a loose pony, just tight enough to still guide you where she needed you. After a few minutes, of her using your mouth, her movements became quicker. Her hips moved again, pushing her swollen clit back on to your tongue. You gently suckled on her clit, gliding your tongue over the bundle of nerves, your own pussy was throbbing.

Her hips grinded into your mouth, you could feel her thighs start to tremble. The fingers in your hair pulled you closer to her pussy. It felt like she was close, her movements becoming more rough, the hand in your hair becoming tighter. Her hands gripped the back of your head, lifting your mouth closer to her, she was fucking your mouth now, chasing her own pleasure.

Thats when she rutted hard against your tongue, making it slightly harder for you to breathe, but it only made you wetter. She grinded hard into your face, making sure to hold you in place. You could tell she was coming, you could feel her juices flooding your tongue, giving you no choice but to swallow. You moaned as the fluid trickled down your throat. The grip on your head became loose, but she still kept you in place, slowly moving your mouth on her taking everything she could from you. Her hips slowly came to a stop, as she moved you felt her juices drip down your chin.

You felt her hands gently stroke at your hair, then her body was gone, the music still played in your ears as you felt a pair of lips at your mouth. You realised it was the first time she had kissed your lips.

You stayed like that for a while, tied up listening to music. Your breathing slowed down but the throbbing between your legs hadn’t stopped. The music was paused and the head phones were gone.

A pair of hands stroked your hair, you could instantly tell it was Alexia. “Hola, baby. How was that?”

You smiled at hearing the blondes voice. “Amazing.”

She hummed. “Good. You made our guest very🍀 happy. She’s left your face a little messy but you don’t mind, do you baby?”

You groaned, you loved it when Alexia spoke to you like this, her tone low and dripping with sex. “No I don’t mind. She tasted so good.” You licked your lips, making a point. You could have sworn you heard someone moan in the background.

“Good, I’m glad to hear it. Because she definitely wants your mouth again. Whats your colour?” Alexia asked.

“Green.” You breathed out.

“Are you ready for round two?”

Your thighs rubbed against each other, desperately feeling the want between your legs, you nodded. “Yes.”

Alexia laughed. “Good girl. You looked so good baby.” Alexia kissed your lips, she hummed at the taste of the other girl. “She does taste good, maybe I’ll try her for myself.”

Fuck. the whimper you out was almost embarrassing, you wanted nothing more then to rip the blind fold off and watch Alexia have her way with one of the girls.

“Please Ale, let me see.”

But you only heard Alexia chuckle at your desperate please, choosing not to answer you. Once again you were left in the darkness, and instead of music directly in your ears, your bedroom playlist started to play loudly on a speaker throughout the room. With the music as loud as it was you knew you was going to struggle to hear, so when the bed dipped again it made you jump, but you relaxed instantly, already becoming used to the set up.

Hands placed themselves on your knees, you could tell straight away they were definitely not the same hands as before. These hands were larger, more rough. It confirmed there was more than one girl, did Alexia say there was more than one? Was there two? Or maybe all three?

Once again you wondered who they might belong to, you tired to pictured the three brunettes hands, but they all merged into one.

Her hands opened your legs further apart. Even though you couldn’t see, you could feel’s eyes on you, maybe even more than two. Your body jumped slightly as you felt a finger at your lips, stroking your wet folds. The finger came up to your clit drawing small light circles on to your bundle of nerves. You couldn’t stop the moan that escaped your mouth.

“Yes. Yes. Oh my god.”

Whoever she was she was extremely talented with her fingers, she touched you like she had been doing it for years. You groaned hard, your body already building up to another orgasm, your legs started to shake and before you could get any closer her fingers were gone.

You gasped as you felt her fingers push inside your wet core. “Fuck.” You gasped.

It was a slight stretch, her fingers were thick, even thicker then Alexia’s. You also hadn’t had anything in you for over a week. She let you get used to the feeling of her fingers, not moving until she felt your body relax.

Her other hand stroked down your thigh, slightly squeezing your muscle. You felt her large hand press firmly on your stomach, holding you down. You relaxed easily, wanting her to use those talented fingers on you. She stroked her fingers in and out of your cunt, pulling the smallest whimpers from you. She hadn’t even done anything and she already felt amazing. You moved your hips into her hand, trying to urge her to move faster, but she didn’t. She kept up her painfully lazy pace, slow and steady. Was you going to have to beg? You was never below begging.

“Please. I need you faster.” You hoped she could hear you over the music. She squeezed your thigh again, she clearly heard you but she wasn’t budging.

It was a beautiful kind of torture, she was hitting all the right spots, but you needed her to go faster, deeper even. You begged and pleaded for her to pick up her speed but she wouldn’t budge. You could feel your juices dripping into her hand, down your cheeks and on to the mattress below you. You almost felt embarrassed at how wet she had gotten you and the pathetic noises you made for her. She kept it up for about ten minutes but it felt like hours, you pulled at your restraints in frustration. This girl was clearly a tease, she was trying to drive you crazy and frankly, it was working.

Maybe you had to go about this differently, if she could tease, so could you.

“I know you want to fuck me. Are you scared you won’t be as good as Alexia? Are you scared you won’t make me come?”

Bingo.

You felt her movements falter, her fingers stopping for a second or two.

You continued. “Come on, stop teasing me. I can tell you know what you’re doing. And I have a feeling I know who you are, and I know you want to be the best. So show me.”

The thing is, you didn’t have a clue who she was, you just needed to say something that would rile anyone on your team up. And the three brunettes were definitely the type to strive for the best. So yeah, you played a little dirty, and it worked. Her fingers began to pick up pace, not as fast as you’d like, but it was still better than the teasing pace she had before. Maybe she liked to be spoken to?

“Fuck, your fingers are so-so good. Just like that. Please.” You begged.

Again, she picked up the pace, curling her fingers right on your g spot, the groan you let out was loud. Something she seemed to like, her hand gripped tighter on your thigh, pushing your legs wider. She drove her fingers deeper into your core, pulling out deep throaty moans from you as she finally fucked you the way you wanted. You could feel your pussy getting obscenely wetter, her fingers being swallowed by your cunt. That’s when you felt her body move over yours, not touching you completely but her hand was now by your head, holding herself up as her hips slotted between your own. Her thrusts became harder, her fingers dragging your walls perfectly.

“Yes, you’re so-good. So perfect.” You cried out.

You had never been able to climax just by penetration before, you always needed some kind of stimulation on your clit. So when you felt your body beginning to build that familiar sensation you was dazed as you felt your orgasm coming, and it was coming fast.

Her hips never stopped, she had stamina that even Alexia could envy, not once did she falter, keeping up the perfect rhythm of her hips. Her fingers hitting your sweet spots perfectly. That’s when you felt her lips on yours, pushing her tongue into your mouth. Her kisses were soft compared to the fingers in you, it blew your mind. She tasted like mint, her lips were soft but also knew what they wanted.

Your legs began to shake hard, your head flung back as you were approaching your second orgasm. It was strange feeling, you had never come like this and your body almost didn’t know what to do as your orgasm took over your body. You couldn’t hear the exact noise you made but it was loud. You couldn’t believe it, it was the first time you came with fingers and you didn’t even know who they belonged to. Your pussy pulsated hard around her beautiful, talented fingers, you tried to slow your breathing as best as you could. But you were completely wrecked.

“Fuck, oh- oh my god. I can’t feel….god!”

She slowly pulled out of you, wiping her wet fingers on your thigh. It was almost like you could feel her smugness, just from the wipe on your leg alone. And she had all the right to be, she just made you see stars. You were shocked to feel a small kiss at your clit, once again making your body jolt. You felt the bed dip, you could tell she came off the bed, leaving you alone. Your breathing was erratic as you tried to catch your breath.

Not long after a pair of lips was pressed against your cheek. “You came baby? Just from her hands?.” Alexia sounded giddy.

You felt a little shy to admit it, but Alexia obviously saw the whole thing. You was worried she might have been a little upset, Alexia hadn’t made you come just by penetration, and you didn’t want her to feel any type of way.

“I did. It was different. It was nice.” Your head wasn’t in the right frame of mind to come up with a decent sentence.

She came closer to your ear, before she spoke she made your shiver. “You looked so good, I loved watching her fuck you, making you moan like that. She’s talented isn’t she?”

“Fuck, Ale. Yes, so talented.”

You clearly had nothing to worry about.

She continued. “She told me that she knew you would beg she knew you would moan like a whore. She also knew you would be a brat.”

Alexia’s fingers were suddenly on your nipple pinching your sensitive skin.

“Fuuuuck.” You cried out.

Her voice was stern now. “So you still want to be a little brat? Hmm? You want to taunt our guest? I think this isn’t punishment enough, you’re clearly enjoying yourself too much.”

“I’m sorry!” Your voice cracking.

She let go of your nipple. “You will be.”

Your body shivered hard on the bed.

“You doing okay? What’s your colour?” Alexia’s voice was soft again.

“My colours green. I’m good.” You nodded.

You loved how easy Alexia could make you melt from her sexual deviant side to her loving caring side.

“Good. Let’s keep going.”

You nodded, already excited for what was next. You still couldn’t believe Alexia had set this up. You wondered about what the blonde was doing while you were tied up. Was she getting herself off? Or was someone else getting her off?

The music continued to play in the background. After just a minute, the dip came back on the bed. The same pair of hands on you, you felt her push your legs up, your feet planted on the mattress, spreading your legs wide. Thats when you felt something hit the inside of your thigh, your cunt throbbed at the thought of being filled.

You felt her shuffle closer, you could feel her lining up the strap against your lips. Your body was still coming down from your second orgasm of the night, but that wasn’t enough to stop whoever she was. She pushed her dick inside you until her hips were between your thighs, bottoming out inside of your pussy. The air escaped your lungs as you let out a loud gasp, you wasn’t expecting something as big as this. This clearly wasn’t one of your toys, and fuck did it take your breath away.

She didn’t wait around, her hips were moving in and out of you, her pace was fast and hard, pushing your body into the mattress. The toy was bigger than anything you’d had before, the stretch was a lot but it quickly turned into a painful pleasure. She leaned closer into you, her body just on top of your own, pushing deeper into your core. Even though you was already tide up her body pined you down, her hips thrusted deep into you, making you whimper.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” You groaned.

You wanted to think about who was fucking you like this, who was looking down at you, listening to you whimper and moan while she fucked you. Before you could even picture one of the brunettes you felt fingers gently wrap around your throat, slightly squeezing. Alexia held your neck all the time while she fucked you, it was definitely a turn on for you, you showed your appreciation with a low moan, the fingers gripping a little tighter at your noise.

This girl could fuck, her hips drove in and out of you rapidly, her pace was fast but deep, forcing you to cry out. This girl was definitely a more dominant lover, her mannerisms were more rough, but in the best way. You pictured each girl above you, driving their body into yours, you pictured Alexia’s face watching you be fucked by one of your team mates. If only you could see her.

She was clearly pushing for her own orgasm, using your body like her own personal sex toy. The sweat on your body was making the girl above you stick to your skin, she was working hard. You felt her movement falter for a second, then you felt it. A vibration sensation swept through your body, right from your core, causing every muscle in your body to jolt.

“Oh, my god!” You cried out.

This strap had a vibrator built in for the person wearing it, but you could still feel the sensation and fuck, was it good but it was almost becoming too much, your head spun from the pain and pleasure, you could feel a faint feeling of an orgasm in the bottom of your stomach. You wasn’t sure your body could go again, you didn’t want to tap out, but you needed something else.

“Please.” You mumbled.

Her hips didn’t stop, her grip on your neck was gone, stroking your skin lovingly instead.

You felt the girl above attach her lips to your neck, making you melt. As much as you loved being fucked senseless you clearly needed a little bit of tenderness. This was still new, and the darkness didn’t help, but the kisses definitely did.

You changed your mind once again on the girl above being a rougher lover, her hips slowed down again, still hitting deep and quick but not as rough. Her lips came to your mouth, pushing her tongue gently in, exploring you. Your head spun, her kisses were everything and more. It was a complete 360 from how she was before. She didn’t once stop kissing you, you had to keep catching air any chance you could. The lack of oxygen made you feel like you could pass out, and in all honesty you wouldn’t mind if you did die this way. It definitely wouldn’t be the worst way to go.

Your clit was being pushed perfectly in this new angle, you could feel your orgasm approaching fast, once again crying out your pleasure. Her kisses never stopped, she was on your neck, face, collar bone, the top of your chest. Anywhere she could reach, driving you fucking insane. Her tongue stroking on your skin was what pushed you over. Nearly.

“No. You dont get to come. You don’t deserve it.” Alexia wasn’t as close as before but you still heard her. She sounded out of breath.

The whine you let out probably shocked the girl above as it even shocked you, but you couldn’t stop it. You were so close to tipping over the edge, your body was fighting for its life. You wanted to beg Alexia but you knew even the whine you let out would have annoyed her. You gritted your teeth and tried to ignore the build of your climax rising in the pit of your stomach.

Her hips started to pump a little quicker into you, then a little deeper. The new rhythm of her beautiful hips had you almost crying. You were trying to catch your breath as she chased her own orgasm. She pushed your hips down into the mattress, as you tried to take what she was giving you. You bit your bottom lip, urging your body to push past it.

You tried to hold back your whimpering as she kept up her pace, it was all too much again. She was making your body work harder than a training session. Alexia must have been able to tell you was struggling to hold on.

“Our guest is close. You can take a little more, I know you can.” Alexia’s voice was right next your ear, making you shiver.

Her voice was dripping with want, you could hear it so clearly, it made your head spin. You never thought you’d hear Alexia tell you to ‘take more’ from another woman. She knew you could take more, this type of sex wasn’t anything you hadn’t done before, but the not seeing made it difficult and maybe a little needy.

“Això és bebè. Et veus molt bé. Has estat una noia tan bona agafant tot això. Realment ets una petita puta..”

Even with the music she said it loud enough for you and the girl above to hear, and she must have liked her captains words, as her hips pushed just a fraction deeper, her hips stuttered inside you, once again pushing your sensitive clit almost to the point of painful. You felt her sit up, holding on to your legs, that’s when you heard a faint moan, but she was too far to recognise and the music was too loud. But you heard it.

You felt her body shake, she pushed herself into you harder. You could feel the final grind of her hips, as she used your body for every drop of her pleasure. She slowly pulled her dick out of you, you felt empty of the loss of feeling so full.

This was the second girl tonight to use your body for her own pleasure. The thought alone made your pussy throb.

Your whole body was on over drive, your arms began to ache, and of course Alexia could read your mind. The music became quieter, the rope on your wrist became loose, making your arms fall slightly, you were thankful for it, your arms had began to ache. A soft kiss pushed against your lips, lips you would know from anywhere.

Alexia lowered your arms in front of you, letting you stretch them out.

“It’s a shame you had to be a brat. Our guest has wanted to do that since you joined the team. She was more than willing when I asked her to join us. She wanted you to come together, but you had to ruin it.”

You groaned, feeling your clit wanting nothing more than that exact thing. But you felt guilty, you didn’t want to be a brat for Alexia, you wanted to show her you could be good for her and your guest. But if you knew Alexia, and you did. You wasn’t going to come for a while, you could hear it in her voice.

“I’m sorry, I’ll be good. Please let me be good for you.”

Alexia cradled your chin. “See, girls she can be good.” She chuckled.

She clearly wasn’t talking to you and from her words it wasn’t one girl. You felt your skin prick at the thought of Lucy, Mapi and Ona seeing you like this. It was the first time you were thankful for the blindfold.

“There’s more than one?” You tried to confirm.

“Is there?.” Alexia’s tone was teasing. She obviously wasn’t going to give you anything, you would just have to work it out as best as you could, but it had been difficult so far. You pouted, you couldn’t believe Alexia had gotten an idea like this, well, you could. You just couldn’t believe it was actually happening.

“Come baby, drink some water. What colour are you?”

You felt the bottle at your lips and drank.

“I’m green. I’m good.” You exhaled.

“Okay. I’m going to tie you back up, but you’re going on your front. Sí?”

“Okay.” You nodded, already excited for the next show. She helped you move forward, laying on your front. She stroked your back lovingly. You loved how Alexia could switch up her dominant side and softer side, she knew you were enjoying yourself but she could also tell you needed to feel her, a familiar touch. She tied your wrist back up, your hand now in front of you.

“Get on your knees bonita.”

You got on your knees, leaning yourself on your forearms as best as you could while being tied up. You felt the bed dip behind you, you could feel a body at your rear. Excitement rushed through your body at the thought of being fucked from behind. Though the thought of not coming was a head fuck. The bed then dipped in front of you, you felt skin brush past your knuckles. Was you about to be fucked by two girls?

Once again the music was loud in the room, you knew what that meant, you almost felt like Pavlov’s dog with how your body reacted.

Soft hands ran down your back, gently touching your skin, it made your body cover itself in goosebumps. Those same hands made their way to your arse, stroking your cheeks, still just as gentle. It was like she was touching porcelain glass with how lightly she touched you, like she was scared to break you. A small moan left your lips as the girl behind you slowly dipped a finger into your wet cunt. She pumped slowly, her other hand on on your back.

Another finger was added just as you felt a hand in your hair, you could feel it was the girl in front of you. The hands slowly guided your head down, on to her awaiting pussy. Your lips touched the already wet skin, your tongue automatically dipped into her folds. From the taste of her you could tell it was a different girl, she tasted just as good as the first girl, but you could feel on your tongue she was different.

You moaned as your tongue took a broad stroke through her wet folds, she kept one hand on your head, just feeling you. She slowly started to guide your head up and down, you kept your tongue out, letting her use your mouth to her desire.

You hadn’t realised the girl behind you had taken her fingers out of you, you were too caught up with working your mouth. You jolted as you felt the head of her dick pushing itself inside your cunt.

She pushed her dick inside your pussy, inch by inch, bottoming out until her own thighs kissed your own. The moan that dripped from your mouth sent a perfect vibration into the girl in front of you, making her push your head further between her legs. The girl behind you began to pump slowly, letting you adjust to the pressure of her dick.

You were being used by two girls, two of your friends, two of the three brunettes that you had fantasised about. You were in heaven.

“Please, I’m so close. Please.”

Alexia shouted ‘no’ from across the room, her voice sounded shakey, she was definitely fucking someone.

You were close to crying, your body was hot, your clit was begging to be touched, it was driving you crazy, your mind felt cloudy, you couldn’t think straight. But you just had to endure it.

The girl behind you picked up her pace, pumping her dick faster inside of you. Her strong thighs slapped the back of your cheeks, pushing your body further into the girl in front. You stayed like this for a while, you sucked and licked at the swollen clit in your mouth, while you were fucked hard from the back.

The girl infront began to buck her hips into your mouth, her hands held your head, chasing her orgasm as she fucked your face. She began let out small moans, but before you could figure it out the girl behind you began to thrust hard, throwing you of the girl in front. The hand on your back was now pushing your head into the pussy you were just eating.

You were trapped between the two bodies, as they had their way with you. Two different hands held your head down, keeping your mouth where she needed you. You then felt the thighs at your head begin to shake, you sucked on her clit, her juices dripping on your tongue as her thighs closed around your ears. The girl behind began to thrust quickly, her hand fingers gripped on your hips as you felt her rut behind you.

The two girls came, both body’s rocking against you, as your body was once again used for someone else’s pleasure. The girl behind you removed her dick, leaving you empty. The girl in front allowed you to clean her up from her juices, she even lifted your head for a deep kiss once she was done with you.

Once again you were left on the bed, your breathing deep and shallow as you tried to control your body. You wanted nothing more than to be allowed to come, that’s all you needed. But you didn’t get it your wish.

The night went on like this, each girl taking turns with you, you had definitely sucked, fucked, licked and tasted each girl tonight. Helping them get to their climaxes as your body could do nothing but take it.

And as you was moved around and put into different positions for each girls sexual desire, you had heard each brunette’s voice. You heard Mapi groan loud as she fucked your arse over the sofa arm chair. You heard Lucy’s voice as she came in your mouth, swearing in that unmistakable northern accent. You even heard Ona whimper when she rode on a strap that had been attached to your hips.

All while not being able to have your own orgasm.

By the 8th or 9th round you were exhausted, you could hardly keep your body up right. The throbbing between your legs was nothing you had ever felt before. Your body had been pushed to new heights. You laid on your back as you panted from the last face ride of the night. Your face covered in one of the brunettes wetness, dripping down your neck.

“Hola baby, how you feeling? What’s your colour?”

Hearing Alexia’s familiar voice brought you back, it was everything you knew, everything you loved. You never noticed just how beautiful her tone of voice was, her accent sounded extra thick.

“I’m green. So, so green. But I don’t think I can take anymore without coming.”

Alexia hummed. “I agree, you’ve been such a good girl. Our guest are very happy.” She stroked your cheek.

“How would you like to come cariño?”

“Anything, please!” You choked out, your voice was the most desperate you’d ever heard it.

She kissed your lips, so gently, her tongue caressed your lips, pulling the sounds she loved from you. She untied your wrist, kissing the skin of where you was tide.

“The blindfold stays on.” She said.

You nodded, you didn’t care you just wanted to be touched.

She guided you on your back, lying on the bed. You waited for a couple of minutes, waiting for what was next, you then felt the bed dip, from all directions.

Alexia’s hands opened your legs, the air hit your wet skin, you could feel every hair on your body stand to attention.

“Do not touch. They can touch you, you don’t touch them.” Alexia’s voice was in its complete dominant state.

You nodded again, not trusting yourself to speak. Alexia’s hands opened your legs further, giving her space for whatever she wanted. A pair of lips attached themselves to your strained nipple, sucking gently as another mouth was on the other nipple. The dirty groan you let out was deep and throaty, your chest vibrated.

Your hands stayed at their side like Alexia told you to do, you wanted so badly to reach out and touch but you had been good for so long, you wasn’t about to ruin it. A third mouth was on your lips, kissing you, sweeping her tongue over your lips, asking politely for entrance. You moaned as one of the girls on your nipples bit you playfully, the girl then thrusted her tongue inside your mouth.

That’s when you felt Alexia’s mouth on your pussy, you cried out as four different set of lips worshiped your body. You could tell Alexia was being gentle, she swept her tongue softly over your very, very sensitive clit. You felt like you were about to float away, their mouths were everywhere on you, sucking and licking your hot skin.

Alexia wrapped her lips around your clit and sucked, she moaned around your flesh, sucking and kissing every bit of you she could get her mouth on. You could feel your juices dripping down your cunt, soaking the sheets beneath you. You had never been this wet before, you had never felt your body reacting in this way. You felt your orgasm already at the cusp, your hips gently rocked into Alexia’s talented mouth. Your voice was almost gone as your body began to shake, the deep moan that escaped your throat was down right dirty.

“That’s it baby, come for me.” Alexia rasped, and quickly attached her lips back to your clit.

“I can’t, I ca- fuck!” You screamed. Your moans bounced off the walls in the room.

You almost blacked out, your body was floating as you finally came, you gripped the sheets instead of Alexia’s head, too scared to incase she moved her beautiful mouth away. Your hips bucked, but firm hands pressed your hips down. The lips on your body never stopping, kissing and caressing every piece of you. You felt Alexia’s tongue lapping up your juices, as your body finally returned to earth. You could feel the tears prickling your eyes, you wasn’t sure if it was from the pure pleasure or the raw emotion of your body having to hold so much pressure from your final release.

You laid there for a few moments, catching your breath, your chest heaving hard. You felt the bed become empty as the girls removed themselves from your body.

“You’re so perfect, bebita.” Alexia kissed your thighs, but you barely felt her.

“Our guest are leaving now, what do you say?”

“Thank you.” You rasped.

“Good girl. Don’t move until I say.”

You were nowhere close to moving, your muscles were weak, everything felt heavy. You heard some shuffling in the background as what you assumed was the girls leaving. Then what sounded like the front door shutting. You drifted off, in and out of sleep, until Alexia’s lips pressed against your forehead, waking you.

“Come bebita.”

She untied the blindfold from your eyes, you winced as you saw some light. But Alexia had made sure to turn every light off, every curtain closed, knowing your eyes would be sensitive. She picked you up bridal style and walked you into the bathroom, candles were lit everywhere, a hot steamy bubble bath was waiting for you. She helped you in and washed your body, massaging your arms of the aches from being bounded.

“Did you enjoy yourself baby?” She kissed the back of your neck.

“So much, Ale. I still can’t believe it. I just wish I could have seen them.”

She chuckled right next to your ear making your skin shiver.

“You were so good, maybe we can do it again if you’re not bratty. They really enjoyed you.”

“Yes! But no blind fold.”

She quirked her eyebrow at you. “I decide that. Rest up, relax your body.” She kissed your neck.

She left you to relax, changing the wet sheets. Once you began to prone up she helped you out of the bath, and into a set of pjs. You decided on ordering dinner as you were both worn out. You slept like a log that night.

It was the next morning, you walked into the changing the rooms, feeling slightly anxious at the thought of seeing the three brunettes after they had fucked you senseless.

But when you were finally face to face with the girls you felt like you had dreamt the whole thing, none of the girls acted any differently towards you. The training session was like any other day, you got on with your sets in the gym, then into the group training.

It wasn’t until you had a training match that you were brought back to last night. It always got physical during these matches, so when you felt a strong body pressed up against you like it did last night, you faltered. You looked up to see Lucy’s green eyes burning into you, a small smile on her face.

A little later in the game you felt familiar hands on your hips as you got ready for a penalty. You looked down to see those tattooed hands belonging to Mapi, you then felt her breath right on your neck as she dragged you back against her core. You missed the penalty completely. Finally it was near the end of the game, you had played badly due to your mind being in the gutter. But of course it had to finish with Ona cramping her leg next to you, you quickly rubbed her thigh trying to help the girl. She whimpered just like she did last night when your head was between her legs.

By the end of the game you could feel wetness polling between your legs, and all of the girls watched you knowingly. Devilish smirks plastered their faces as they watched you struggle to get to grips. It made your skin hot, your cheeks flushed. If only you could have seen the way they looked at you last night.

You were definitely going to throw the blind fold away when you got home.

[exitpursuedbyavulcan]

Exhibitionism with Aegon

Part of Kinktober 2024

Aegon knows that you're nervous about the bedding ceremony. Perhaps that's why he's doing this. Or maybe it's to make those watching you - several of his family members included - uncomfortable enough that they regret enforcing a public bedding. Though most likely, he's just doing this because it's Aegon.

Whatever the reason, when he proudly strides into your new marital chamber, he is already entirely naked and more than ready to bed you. Not only that, he has oiled his entire body.

Several of the observers groan and look away as Aegon approaches you, his arms stretched wide as he moves to embrace you, ruining your nightgown with oil stains. He doesn't wait long until his mouth is upon yours, kissing you thoroughly and sloppily.

You can't help but wonder if this was how he kissed the many other women you know he's lain with. The thought pulls you away from the kiss.

"Don't be scared," Aegon whispers against your lips. "I'm going to make you feel so good that they won't matter. Right?" He doesn't look away until you smile and nod. "Good girl, go sit on the bed."

When you pull back the sheer curtains surrounding the bed, you find it covered in rose petals of every color, and you can't hold back your laughter. Only Aegon could make you laugh in these circumstances.

But then, he begins to tear the curtains off the bed, tearing away the one protection you had against the prying eyes of the Small Council and Aegon's family.

"What is the meaning of this, Aegon?" Otto Hightower asks. He has the courtesy to not leer at you in your thin nightgown, unlike the Lords Strong and Wylde.

"Well, you wanted to watch, did you not? I'm simply giving you a better view." He smirks as he turns back to the bed, and you swear he's clenching to make his buttocks seem firmer.

His brother, Aemond, walks out without a word.

Aegon leaps on the bed, sending half the rose petals to the floor. before wrapping his hands around your waist and nosing at your neck. "You don't have to take off your nightgown if you do not want to, sweet girl," he whispers. "But I want them to see my arse." When you ask why, he meets your gaze, and his irreverence fades for just a moment. "They wanted a show, so I'm giving them one. Besides, I'm positive one or two of them have always wanted a look at my cock."

You don't ask him which ones. That is a mystery you are more than happy to never solve.

"Are you ready?" he asks. You aren't entirely sure you are, but you nod anyway. Immediately, Aegon raises himself onto his knees, angling to ensure that the assembled audience has a clear view on his front as he begins to stroke his cock, throwing back his head in exaggerated pleasure as he moans loudly and whorishly.

His mother leaves the room, her hand held to her face to block her view of her shameless son.

"Fuck," Aegon groans. "I can't wait any longer." He skillfully re-angles both himself and you so that the observers now have a perfect view of his arse as he lifts you nightgown just enough for him to duck inside and lavish your core with his lips and tongue.

Someone in the crowd grumbles, but you don't care, not when Aegon is making you feel so good. For a moment, you are glad of his history in brothels, if it is why he has such skill at this. He easily brings you to release twice before he extracts himself from beneath your gown.

He is desperate enough to forget any other schemes to irritate your observers before sliding his cock inside you, and you aren't certain that the moan you let out is wholly genuine or if Aegon has somehow looped you in to his showmanship.

It is likely the latter, for as he moves within you faster and faster, you both grow in volume, until you are sure that even the guards at the Gate of the Gods can hear you as you peak once more.

And when Aegon releases inside you, you are sure he could be heard across the Narrow Sea as he shouted, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

Then, you fall silent save for your panting breaths. "Are you well?" Aegon asks. All you can do is nod. "Good, I'll be right back, my girl."

He climbs off of you, standing from the bed and approaching the remaining audience. "Well, gentlemen, I think you'll find all the evidence you require right here!" He gestures dramatically to his cock, wet with both your releases and your maiden's blood.

"... Thank you, my prince," Grand Maester Orwyle stutters. "Please, accept my congratulations on your marriage." He hurries out of the room with a haste you've never seen from any Maester.

Aegon turns to Otto Hightower. "Well, are you satisfied?"

The Hand does not answer, he simply looks at those remaining and gestures to the door. "Let us leave the new couple to each other."

With a smirk, Aegon adds, "Quickly please, you were only promised the first fuck of the night, and I have plans for many more.

[susansontag]

my guide to lesbian anime both canonic and subtextual

(won’t include every lesbian anime ever, this is a personal list)

the canonic-gay section:

revolutionary girl utena

nothing before or since has ever done it like this. trigger warnings for everything imaginable. loads of homosexuals in this one. gender commentary, fairytale allusions, a lot of kids who are having a hard time growing up and moving beyond their pasts. sword lesbians.

flip flappers

the problematic favourite, in that there’s at least one uncomfortable sexualised shot each episode (roughly speaking; some have none and one has even more, unfortunately), so be warned. but at its heart flipflap is about repressed cocona going on adventures with outgoing and expressive papika, and their exploration of various fantastical lands/inner worlds of people they meet. hugely inventive and pretty, and a core thread is cocona discovering she’s gay.

aoi hana (‘sweet blue flowers’)

the comfort lesbian show, with not a romantic relationship at its heart, but a friendship between two childhood friends who meet again, both of whom are gay (though only one realises this during the show’s run, as it’s based on a manga). one of them dates an upperclassman at her school, and there’s various gay and bi side characters. it’s just very wholesome, lovingly animated, sweet and sometimes painful stuff.

bloom into you

I controversially do not care that much for bloom into you, but as the best, high-production, non-skeevy yuri show in years - that is based on a manga by a woman - it’s worth mentioning. late-bloomer girl dreams of romance, though has never felt it, and finds affinity with a girl who similarly is disinclined to date. that is, until said girl says she fancies her. genuinely moving exploration of developing gay identity at times, only downside is my personal disinterest in the black haired girl. some weird ‘heightened’ moments that feel inauthentic and titillating do arise, but it’s very few - to the point where some would disagree with me on my reading of it, I’d imagine.

sailor moon

the bits which the lesbians are in, etc. it’s a classic. I haven’t watched all of it myself because I don’t care much nor do I have nostalgia for sailor moon, but it’s one of the most notable examples of a butch/masc lesbian in anime, so that’s nice.

o maidens in your savage season

nerdy teenage girls who are part of a literature club make it their quest to discover sex and dating, in various ways (unfortunately, not all of them dealt with well… teacher/student foolery that is fortunately abandoned before it gets worse but is nonetheless handled with mixed results, imo). mostly though it’s hilarious, sweet, silly, and there’s a gay girl in it, but I won’t spoil which one. adults predating on children is also handled much, much better in another of the show’s storylines, and I do appreciate it for trying to tackle that difficult subject matter.

oniisama e (‘dear brother’)

an oldie, based off a shoujo manga by one of the greatest (riyoko ikeda). there’s a central relationship to root for (better articulated in the manga), but it’s mostly just what if we were messy depressed lesbians at an all-girls school and we were also melodramatic and mean as hell.

revue starlight

what if we were at an all-girls dramatic arts school and engaged in utena-like duels to become the top performer? main implicitly gay couple with canonic side gay couples. it’s quite cute. also worth watching if you like takarazuka in any way (prestigious all-female japanese theatre troupe), because the main conceit of the school is very much based on that idea.

the gay-themes section:

sound! euphonium (season one)

in which director naoko yamada’s awesome legacy of writing lesbians and then saying “who’s to say though, ha ha” continued (she did it already with a side character in tamako market). this one is known as the gaybait to end all gaybait, but hear me out: the first, and best, season, is not only a fantastic self-contained story with many great characters and plot points, but it’s main character is undoubtedly lesbian-coded and even has a love interest you can argue about. frankly I think she’s gay-coded throughout the whole show (even when she dates a guy for two minutes), but this feels very “I wanted to focus on this compelling relationship between two female characters but the adaptation’s success meant we had to revert back to the source material in later seasons”. what we got from this is perhaps my favourite lesbian anime of all-time, following utena.

a place further than the universe

this show is about four girls who join an expedition to antarctica, and what if I told you they’re all great, believable dorky teenage characters, and they exist in a well-written and thematically satisfying show… and there’s nice lesbian implication between one of our adult female protagonists and her old (deceased; not a spoiler) friend who was the main teen girl’s mother. there’s some sad here, obviously.

puella magi madoka magica

the well-known, much beloved deconstruction of the magical girl genre is also pretty gay, as it happens (so gay in fact it started a trend of gay-coded pink+black magical girls). it’s not a particular favourite of mine, but it’s visually one of the most notable anime productions ever, so it’s well worth seeing just for that.

NANA

the 2000s manga+show about the two twenty-year-olds who meet on a train and discover they’re both called nana is also pretty gay! to the point where there are heated fandom debates about nana komatsu’s (pink one) possibly being a lesbian. they both have many relationships with guys, but it’s their bond that forms the heart of the show, and the bisexuality (or, who knows, homosexuality) of the leads is pretty undeniable. to the point where you’ll get blasted on the nana subreddit if you try and suggest otherwise.

the wild-card section:

keep your hands off eizouken!

this is a show about three oddball girls who start a club to create anime, but have to pose as the film club instead for various reasons. it’s not even subtextually gay, I just personally think that all three of the leads are gay and the whole thing feels like a very female-centred creative endeavour. hugely fun watch, and very high production values. you wouldn’t regret seeing it.

skip & loafer

these two you see here are side characters. this show is actually about mitsumi, the greatest female protagonist of this kind of shoujo-esque slice of life show, who moves from the countryside to tokyo for high school. here she meets many a misfit, including the pretty blonde and the nerd girl who have undeniable chemistry and form one of the most popular pairings in the show. it’s just a good time.

chihayafuru

I’d get in trouble for this, because the primary romance factor in the show is a famed heterosexual love triangle with chihaya at its centre and her two male childhood friends at the side. but go with me on this. chihaya is oblivious to romance and feminine socialisation, she is obsessed with a card game and with her equally dorky dark-haired rival… she’s anime’s greatest autistic lesbian lead. and you get more than what you pay for, because the two boys I mentioned? a lot of gay stuff going on there too.

the big-screen-cinematic section:

the adolescence of utena

revolutionary girl returns in the sequel of a lifetime, slightly older (sixteen, say) and gayer than ever, to escape this place with the love of her life. cue the impromptu dance sequence (with stars and rose petals)!

liz and the blue bird

the naoko yamada directed gay cinematic universe continues with a gorgeous film starring two of the side characters from sound! euphonium’s second season (not necessary to watch beforehand). that means it has plausible deniability whilst being so crazily gay it’s almost some kind of joke. this is a highly detailed, laser-focused character study of two girls in their high school band club and their ever more strained relationship. yamada never misses.

the summer

this is korean! it’s about two girls who meet at school and start dating in secret, what happens as they grow up and move to seoul, and how their relationship changes and strains when met with the conservatism of contemporary korean society. it was sweet and like aoi hana above for japanese girls, felt pretty frank to the experiences I’d imagine young korean lesbians might have.

puella magi madoka magica: rebellion

if you’re a fan of the show, you probably don’t talk about this movie. sure, it’s a visual feat, sure, it’s insanely entertaining, but it’s also frustrating and upsetting and potentially undermines the neatness of the original as a perfectly-crafted story. BUT. kyouko/sayaka becomes all but canon in it, and everything else aside, that’s all that really matters. but you should definitely watch the show beforehand.

[lizzy019]

𝒞𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒶𝓂𝑜𝓃 𝑅𝑜𝓁𝓁?

Simon “Ghost” Riley x Plus-size Fem!Reader

cw -> insecurities, tough-love, oral (sixty nine), but a sweet ending :)

Word Count -> 1.4K

As a plus-size girlie, I genuinely wish I could get this, but no man likes a girl with stomach fat and it’s KILLING MEEE

This blasted mirror, you thought to yourself.

Hands scooping up your protruding apron belly with a sad expression, you look at yourself disapprovingly in the mirror as tears well up in your eyes.

Ugly, ugly, ugly! Your mind chanted in disregard of your mental health.

You didn’t care if people said, “Oh, but you have boobs!” or “Oh, but you have a full ass!” It wasn't about that anymore, you just wanted to feel pretty again. Like that young teenager who had no care for their looks, just getting good grades in school to finally have that dream job.

Now your job has you cooped up in your home all day, stress eating until you feel guilty and crying about it. It was pathetic.

You were pathetic.

Sniffles escaped you as you hid yourself in the baggiest clothing you had, frowning when you could still see the fat in your arms and the face fat that made you look old.

A knock at the apartment’s front door had you quickly wiping your tears in a hurry, trying to fix your breaths as you exited your room to go see who it was.

Opening the door to the apartment, you’re met with the familiar white skull mask and stocky body that you’d swooned over the first time you saw him.

“Simon!” You smiled, gently hugging him and allowing him inside. After months, he was safe and back home.

“Hey, luv. You gained weight?” He responded, dropping his duffel bag and eyeing you closely.

You winced at those words.

“Are you high or somethin’? Why’re your eyes all red and puffy?” He asked.

This had you freeze up, giving a nervous chuckle as you played with the hem of your sweatshirt.

“No no, I’m not high, I promise. Just tired.” You lied as smooth as you could, gesturing to the kitchen for him to go and get food.

Even if Ghost could tell you were lying from the way your body language was all closed off, he didn’t wanna dig and hurt you. So he just trudged to the kitchen for food and let you be.

The rest of your evening was spent in the bathroom, eyeing the laxatives you bought to thin yourself out with skepticism. While you wanted to take them, you didn’t know how they’d make your system react.

A waste of money, you thought to yourself.

But working out was a waste of time when bills had to be paid and the house needed cleaning, or family needed help, or groceries had to be done.

It was all too much, and you found yourself silently beginning to sob again.

Hands holding the disgusting fat at your abdomen, you curled up on the tiled floors and weeped. How could Simon deal with you? How could he want to be proud of you? Was he lying? Pitying you?

Ghost could hear the sounds from the living room, but he paid no mind to it. You never handled crying in front of others well anyway.

11:30 at night, Simon stripped bare in front of you as you hesitated strongly to take off your own clothing.

You felt bad for so many reasons, the two most severe ones being that you were scared he’d judge you and make cruel jokes about the pounds you’d gained, but also not taking your clothes off and making him upset or frustrated.

Ghost’s hands didn’t even let you choose, your shirt came off within a few seconds and so did your pants and panties.

Mortification crossed you instantly, and you wished you could run back into the bathroom, lock yourself away and rot. It’s the only thing you could do better than stuffing your face full of food.

Ghost got into position, and you felt awful when he got on top of you instead of you usually getting on top of him.

Flimsy cock at your mouth, you gently put it into your lips and began to work on what he’d pleaded for upon return. His own mouth attached itself to your core, but you weren’t wet. You couldn't focus on enjoying the pleasure when everything else was pulling you away from it.

Regardless, everything kept going, even your mortification which refused to leave. You were just too self-conscious, too fearful of his true reaction and anxiety creeping up because he hasn't said anything about it yet.

Once Ghost was good and hard, he moved once again into a missionary position and grabbed some lube and a condom, rolling the latex on first before lubing up your entrance. His tip pressed your core before a sharp thrust was executed.

Only a soft whimper exited you from it, and this really gave Ghost the sign that something was up.

“Luv, what the fuck is up with you t’day? You’re actin’ all reticent and timid for no goddamn reason. Or is there a reason that you’re just not informin’ me of?” He asked harshly, his expression not visible through the dark fabric covering his face.

His question made you think hard. Should you tell him? Would he laugh at you? Simon wasn't exactly an understanding person, and he never comforted anyone properly. With a shaky sigh, you shrugged.

“You said it yourself earlier, I gained weight. I tried not to, but I don’t have time anymore to be physically active asides small walks, it’s pissing me off and I understand if you think it’s not as attractive anymore-”

“Who the fuck told you that I said somethin’ as stupid and jacked up as that? Holy shit, is that all you were pissin’ yourself over? A few extra pounds?” He almost raised his voice, almost.

Reluctantly, you nodded your head and winced a bit.

He sighed heavily, his hands coming to pin down your wrists as he gently kissed your cheek. You were confused, what was happening here?

“Luv, you don’t gotta worry about my preference on your body. You’re you, you took me in and loved me in a way no one else chose to, I’m not in it for your body, I’m in it for you.”

This made your eyes water out joyful tears, this wasn’t something you heard on a regular basis, much less from someone who was way out of your league.

You gave a soft nod, and this made him fully begin to thrust into your core. That was what made you erupt in little moans, you just needed to be properly consoled.

Simon however, was going absolutely feral for the little jiggle in your tummy, the bouncing of your breasts, and the way your thighs happily squished against the mattress’ fabric.

“Yeah, that’s my good girl. Takin’ it so well, you like it? You like how my cock’s stretching this tight lil’ cunt open? Yeah, yeah you do.” He smiled softly under his mask, lightly degrading you with praise built in as he answered for you.

You were too blissed out to have even heard it.

A climax was nearing, and he moved himself into a mating press to violently assault your dripping cunt while pinning your soft body down against his.

“Simon! Gonna cum..!” You mewled out, hands clasping his shoulders before you finally spasmed and seized just to release all over his hard length.

This alone had him gasping for air, his thrusts heavy and desperate as he kissed all down your neck, sucking the skin to make hickies, before he couldn't continue it anymore.

“Fuck, I’m cumming, I’m cumming- shit!” He moaned out, ceasing all movements to fully release into the condom.

Huffs were the only thing you two heard for a good few moments, taking off his mask in totality to show his full submission to your trust.

Those pretty brown eyes and blonde lashes, lovely scarred cheeks and little amount of blonde stubble on his jaw and chin. Chapped lips and pinky nose. He was handsome, you felt like he could get any woman if he tried.

“Stupid British.” You teased, kissing his lips innocently before you two moved to get under the blankets to rest.

Ghost’s hands came to rub the pudge of your stomach, eyes soft as he looked at it with adoration.

“You’re like a cinnamon roll.” He murmured.

“Cinnamon roll?!” You exclaimed, laughing and kissing his cheek. “You goof.”

Ghost chuckled dryly, kissing your forehead before pulling the blanket to cover your shoulders to stay warm.

“Sleep well, cinnabon.”

[skeletonh0e]

HAII I SAW YOUR BLOG— welcome back to the x reader scene!!!

I wanted to ask for general romantic US Sans headcanons! If that’s alright

Glad to be back! Sorry this took me a bit, ya girl is rusty. Reader is gender neutral, no nsfw but some jokes here or there

Under Swap Sans x Reader Headcanons

Baby boy is SUPER stoked and happy to be in a relationship, but also he has no idea what the fuck he is doing

You are his first partner so literally everything is new to him, but let it be down the Magnificent Sans never backs down from anything

Literally never shuts up about you, that one Will Smith proudly displaying his wife meme? That's him with you especially during the earlier stages of your relationship, proudly boasts that you're his partner and how awesome you are. Most other people find this annoying

He chills as you two date later on but he's not above just randomly going, "Wanna hear about how good my S/O is? You don't? Well I'm gonna tell ya ANYWAY-"

Generally not hard to tell he's kinda...trying too hard, especially with dates and gifts. Man can easily go overboard. It does take him awhile to figure out how to properly express affection without being smothering and that first romance awkward fading away

Regardless, he's a very sweet boyfriend, lots of compliments, encouragement, love and bombastic spurts of energy

Not big on PDA, purely because he gets easly flustered but definitely does some minor gestures like hand holding or the occasional cuddles. Frequently gives you a peck on the cheek before he runs off to do something or leaves for whatever reason

This man's flirting is uh...kinda silly, sometimes basically saying something corny followed by a wink with finger guns. You return the energy then he's frantically looking through his how-to guide on what to do next

If you're small enough to be picked up, he will absentmindedly pick you up likely not even noticing that he's doing it. If you're tall enough to pick him up and return the energy he's extremely whiney and blushey

"He's in air jail-"

Likes to call you his "little dove", "beloved" or even just "my (insert your name here)"

He's not a needy partner but clingy in that he likes to hang around you a lot, he listens if you give him space but definitely doesn't care to be separated for long periods of time.

"I miss my S/O Pap, I miss them a lot. I'll be back." Said not one hour after you left this morning to run an errand

However as a result he is very attentive, not only to your physical needs (insert funny boning joke here) but also just in general. You will NOT be skipping meals or being overly stressed out while he's around

Definitely the type of boyfriend to ask about your day, genuinely listens, gets super invested all while doing your nails or something. Really an activity that'll help you two bond or unwind

Biggest. Hype man. Ever. Whether you're doing some crazy shit or simply trying to open a jar he's there for you. (But he will open the jar if you give up tho but he still thinks you did great)

Protective in the sense that he'll declare anyone that messes you messes with him and now that'll be their greatest error ever, it's a speech that's sweet if not full of constant ego bloating

Has a lot of pictures of you two together, he can't not have pictures of you. What if he wants to tell someone about you and you're not around???

"Of course someone as great as I has such an amazing S/O!"

Some minor self esteem issues pop up, but you're there for him as much as he is for you. But occasionally he does just hug you like, "We're gonna be together forever right?"

He is a hopeless romantic at his core for all his silliness, inexperience, and his natural tendency to be extreme he does love you and is giving this his all because he believes you deserve it

[grazi-your-rockette-queen]

um um um i’ve been thinking about duff

i’ve been thinking about calling duff daddy sometimes too

so uh

All This & More- Duff McKagan

you let out continuous small whines as duff’s mouth trailed down your body, eyes shut with a smile on your face as you bit your lip.

“hey baby… how’s my favorite girl?”

he’d came home late, per the usual. you’d got a feeling earlier that tonight was a night for you to stay awake for him, though you were usually asleep by the time he crawled into bed next to you, tonight there had been something to wait for. and as soon as he walked in the doorway of your bedroom, you knew exactly why you knew to stay awake.

he was all over you as soon as he got in bed, deep kisses, soft kisses, hands all over. it was exciting, as most days recently there hadn’t been as much time set aside for you and duff to enjoy each other as the both of you had wished. he had a busy schedule, spending most days in the studio and not coming home until late. aside from weekends, you didn’t get much time alone with him, and he was aware of it. so tonight he was going to make it up to you.

“baby… what are you wearing?”

he pulled away the sheets, allowing him to clearly see in dim lamplight your prettiest lingerie peek underneath one of his tshirts. he ran his fingers up and down both your thighs, slowly lifting up the tshirt to pull it over your head, which you helped with.

“oh, have you been waiting for me?”

he asked, chuckling a little. his focus remained on your exposed body, tracing the lingerie with his fingers and giving you shivers. a bashful smile showed up on your face with a dusty blush and a small nod. duff hummed in response, his eyes now glancing up to meet yours.

“am i gonna make my princess gonna feel good?”

he used one hand to lift your chin so you’d look at him. you nodded with eagerness and need.

“yes, you always do” you acknowledged in a voice that mellowed your neediness, “i need it, please?”

duff smiled down at you, giving you a few more kisses on your neck and face before moving to take off his jeans and shirt, which were left in a pile with the shirt of his you were previously wearing. he crawled his way back up to you, much closer this time, and started to bite and suck on your neck and down your cleavage that was put on good display for him thanks to the choice lacy bra that you wore. one of his hands ran up your back and stopped at the clasp of the your bra, while the other sank down towards your matching panties. his rough fingers traced the hem, and grazed over the soft skin of your plush inner thighs as a wetness formed between them. you let out slightly louder moans and squirmed a little bit more, indicating that you were not up for so much teasing, and you needed relief sooner than later. duff got the message, and hooked fingers on both sides of your hips around the hem of your panties to delicately drag them down your legs after unclasping your bra and discarding it on the floor. he placed a soft kiss above your core, making you squeak.

“so pretty, all for me.” your breathing picked up at the feeling of his hot breath so close to where you needed him to be. suddenly, you felt him place two fingers over your cunt, swiping them slowly through your folds to pick up wetness that had pooled from your hole. you whimpered at his touch, and he groaned quietly at the taste of you on his fingers.

“so wet for me, sweet girl, aren’t you?”

“duffy, please, i want you?” you begged sweetly, repeating your request of him whenever he asked you to speak up or repeat something.

“you wanna cum on my cock? yeah? well, if that’s what my little princess wants…” he assured you, giving you another little kiss on your nose while he pulled his dick out from his boxers. you blushed heavily and looked down, away from his face as though he wouldn’t notice you being shy.

“don’t be shy, baby, is this what you want?” he asked genuinely, yet still keeping up with the especially dominant energy he’d came home with. you breathed out a ‘yes’ and looked back into his loving gaze. he nodded and held the back of your head with one of his large hands, while the other he used to position himself with your damp hole and softly rub circles on your clit as he pushed in, causing you to moan louder than before. he kept slowly pushing himself deeper into you, trying to be as gentle as he could while groaning and praising you.

“oh baby, this pussy’s so tight for me, yeah?” his eyes shut to the sounds you made in response to his movements. once he bottomed out, he let out another sigh and checked in with you,

“okay, princess?” he didn’t stop rubbing your swelling clit in hopes it would help you ease onto his length.

“y-yes, duffy.” you whimpered, walls already tightening around him and silently begging for him to move.

“good girl.” his eyes already squeezing shut as he started slowly moving, thrusting into you slowly, but with force that made your brain melt. your mouth gaped open while he picked up his pace and kissed and bit at your neck, now leaving dark red marks. you moaned out his name, but couldn’t manage to speak aside from that, so he moved to kiss your lips, a mess with desire and lust overtaking him.

“can you touch here for me, baby?” he asked, moving your hand to your clit where he’d kept two fingers. you obeyed, gasping while your moans started to become higher in pitch.

“daddy… i’m gonna cum for you…” you moaned, words drawn out shakily. he started breathing heavily with you.

“mhh, yes, that’s my good girl.” he kissed you, now just as desprate as you. “cum for me, pretty baby, you can do it.” he encouraged, the sound of his voice driving you closer to your orgasm.

“mh! ahh, yes daddy!” you screamed, your high hitting you without warning. your back arched off the bed while duff continued to pound into the same spot deep inside you that was making you see white. as your orgasm subsided, he groaned and let his eyes roll back while your walls fluttered and squeezed around him desperately.

“fuck, honey, daddy’s gonna cum in you. such a good girl.” he kept kissing your neck and chest, while you started to whimper and squeal from the overstimulation. he let out a loud moan before letting his thick seed fill your tight cunt, spilling out and making a mess in between your legs.

“oh, baby…” he sighed heavily, pulling out while you whimpered shakily, your eyes still shut and breath heavy as well. “are you alright, baby?” he instantly swiped stray strands of hair from your forehead, petting you hair as he held you up in his arms. you rested your cheek on his shoulder as your breath finally steadied.

“im okay, daddy.” you breathed, barely conscious and very exhausted. he rubbed your back softly while you melted onto him.

“you did so well, baby. did that feel good?”

“yes, thank you duffy.” you kissed him on the cheek and smiled, eyes still half closed. he kept you close to him, but decided to get up and get you water and a little snack so you wouldn’t pass out.

“i’m alright, duff, i’m not gonna pass out!” you giggled at him and his protectiveness. he made you drink some water before cleaning you up with a warm washcloth he’d brought along from the bathroom.

“i just need to make sure, it’s what any good boyfriend would do. i need to make sure i’m taking good care of you.” he patted your thigh softly. “you feel loved?”

“of course, silly.” you smiled and placed your hand on his cheek, kissing him softly.

“good. i love you so, so much, y/n. i’m sorry i don’t get to see you every night and-” he started to apologize.

“it’s okay, duffy, i understand.” you smiled at him again, sincerely. “and i know how much you love me.”

“and that’s why i wish i could make you feel good so much. all the time, actually.” he got back into the bed after turning off the lights.

“i wish i could be with you all the time, too.” you moved close to him as he wrapped you in his arms and you cuddled into his chest. “tonight was perfect.”

“you deserve it, sweetheart.”

[aewon]

pretty girl, you're like peaches.

jungwon x f!reader genre: fluff warnings: none wc: 669

inspired by peaches by kai

this is for @okwonyo celestial ballet event! im sorry it's so short! we love u jiah wiah

You never liked peaches growing up. They were too sweet for you.

That was until you learned your crush, Yang Jungwon, loved peaches.

You started doing everything possible to get his attention, using peach-scented shampoos, conditioners, body washes, lotions, and perfumes. 

It never seemed to work.

Still, you persisted. Then came that fateful day when he finally gave you his attention.

“You smell good, like peaches,” he said, smiling at you with adorable dimples.

You thanked him, smiling enormously yourself.

After that, Jungwon started to talk to you more.

You were ecstatic. Your plan was working!

Jungwon started learning more about you, as you did him, and you two hit it off.

As you sit underneath the peach tree in your backyard, your doorbell rings.

You get up excitedly. Jungwon was here!

You invited him over to your house for the first time, and butterflies erupted in your stomach.

He looks dashing as you answer the door, his beautiful smile being the first thing you see. 

“Hey! I'm so glad you invited me over. I've been wanting to see your house to find out we only live like 10 minutes apart.”

You laugh, “I know, it's crazy.”

You give him a small house tour before leading him outside to your backyard.

“You have a peach tree? That's so cool. Can I have one?”

You extend your hand upwards, picking one off a branch and handing it to him. “You can have one whenever you want.”

He rinses it off with the garden hose before biting into it. He sighs in delight, “It's perfect, just the right amount of sweetness.”

Jungwon then looks between you and the peach before reaching his hand out to you, “Do you want a bite?”

Shoot, you didn't think he'd offer, you think to yourself. 

“Can I be honest? I don't like peaches.” You give him a sheepish smile.

He makes the cutest confused face, “I could've sworn you did. You use peach-scented everything!”

You sigh, “The truth is, Jungwon, I only started using peach-scented stuff to get your attention. I like you, and when I learned you liked peaches, I took it as an opportunity.”

It's silent for a moment before Jungwon begins to laugh.

Oh god, he thinks I'm a loser.

You pout, lightly hitting his chest, “It's not funny!”

He stops laughing after a solid minute before looking at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Y/N, if you wanted my attention, you should've just talked to me!”

“I wanted to! But I was nervous, and I thought you'd blow me off.”

His face softens, “I wouldn't do that. Besides, why would I blow off the girl I like?”

Wait, what?

“You like me?” You ask, pointing to yourself.

“Yes, Y/N, I do. I have for a while. I started liking you a few months ago. I always thought you were pretty, but when you lent me those chem notes, I knew.

Then we started talking, and I fell more in love with you. And I know love is a big word, but it's genuinely how I feel.”

You stare in shock, processing his words in your mind.

He begins to shuffle his thumbs, waiting for your response. 

“Jungwon, I love you too. I love everything about you. I'm sorry I didn't come forward, but now, I feel relieved.” 

He steps forward, putting down his now-finished peach core and taking your hands into his.

“Will you be my girlfriend? My little peach hater,” he says affectionately as you giggle.

“I will! Kiss me?”

His lips meet yours, and believe it or not, you don't mind the taste of peach. It's sweet but not sickeningly so. 

As you pull away, his hands meet the sides of your face, holding it delicately.

“I know you hate them, but to me, you're like peaches, soft and sweet. I'm so lucky.”

You pull him into a hug, wrapping your arms around his neck as his wrap around your waist. “I'm the lucky one.”

[hestzhyen]

Already Waist-Deep

Hi internet void. Please allow me to kagura my bachi all over the place for a little bit. I've got a bad case of the brain worms about these boys that I haven't even had together for 20 chapters yet, so let me ramble a little bit about why they're already so compelling as not only a duo, but a ship.

First off, a caveat. Kagurabachi is a Weekly Shounen Jump (WSJ) action series. That means that if romance is ever addressed in the series itself, the protagonist is going to end up with a girl. Doesn't matter how underdeveloped or lackluster his relationship to her is, or how flat she is as a character. Invest lightly and come along for the ride without any expectations of m/m ships becoming canon. (That said, it might not be the worst thing in the world for our MC to end up with a girl in this case- more on that later.)

Second, I don't really ship that often. Not seriously at least. I need more than two guys being close with each other to start wanting them to be a pair, y'know? So I hope you understand the intensity of the material Hokazono-sensei has been giving us the past few chapters. I am on the brink of going all-in on HakuHiro/ChihiHaku in less than 20 chapters, it's that insane.

Third, I will be talking about current developments without marking potential spoilers. There are only 38 chapters out as of writing this, but there are at least two reveals that would be better appreciated going in blind. Spoilers for the oneshot Farewell! Cherry Boy are also a thing near the end.

Okay? Okay. Let's begin.

Who's Involved? First up is our protagonist Chihiro Rokuhira, an 18 year old boy and the son of a famous swordsmith. He was raised with genuine love and care by his father (no idea what happened to his mom yet), taking care of their day-to-day life while learning his father's trade. And from the very first chapter he is steeped in tragedy as he witnesses his father's murder and life's work being stolen. He then sets out on the long, fraught road of vengeance.

Sounds grim and not exactly compelling, right? Especially when this scene from the first chapter was making the rounds being memed to death:

But there's much more to Chihiro than meets the eye. Flashbacks to his time growing up show him being a natural caretaker to his dad and their fish- cooking meals, keeping his dad on task, and so on. We see glimpses of underlying tenderness when he meets and rescues Char, a sweet little girl with her own tragic past. And we get some insight that he might not be quite as resolute as he's projecting himself to be when he faces off against Sojo, a fan of his father who worships a much different version of the man than Chihiro knew. And now the Rakuzaichi arc has definitively shown us that Chihiro isn't as collected as he seems. One of his father's killers easily cracks the mask and shows us Chihiro is really just a desperate kid with a heaping helping of trauma, then Tenri's pointless sacrifice shakes him to his core. But despite it all he's still doing determinator things in the most badass way possible. Chihiro has layers, man. A lot of them. And the best way to understand our protagonist right now is through his foil: Hakuri Sazanami.

Who is Hakuri? A 17 year old boy with a special lineage, but he's a loser who needs to be saved from common thugs. A pathetic guy who latches on to Chihiro and doesn't take the hint when Chihiro literally runs away to ditch him. An utter failure to his family. A lost puppy looking for a samurai.

Hakuri Sazanami is one of the best goddamn foils I've seen in shounen manga yet.

Let me tell you all the ways I love the writing around this kid and Chihiro because MAN I can't even contain all these feels.

What's Going On? From the start, Hakuri looks like he's just another person for Chihiro to bail out. He witnesses Chihiro's awesomeness fighting Sojo in the streets and decides to imitate it by standing up for a little girl being kidnapped. Instead of winning out, though, he's captured and kicked around. Once he's coincidentally rescued by Chihiro he's immediately all-in on tagging along and keeping Chihiro in his life. Look at this pitiful guy:

Chihiro decides to hear him out due to his connection to the Sazanamis, the Big Bads of the arc. He's initially put off by Hakuri's intensity but brings him along anyway, as Hakuri's insider information regarding the Sazanami family makes him useful. Then, as Chihiro wavers under Hiyuki's assault, Hakuri is truly useful for the first time:

And it only gets better from here. We see Hakuri hanging off Chihiro's every word trying to be as useful as possible for his samurai, striving to do anything he can, though it ends up with him forcing Chihiro to give up his precious sword Enten in exchange for his life. (Yes, Chihiro "buys" Hakuri from Hakuri's own family.)

Later on during the invasion of the auction is where things go into overdrive though. We see their character arcs start to invert and shape each other's as the action unfolds and Hakuri's own tragic past comes to light, eventually awakening him to his special abilities. Chihiro's bravery and strength help him pull this off and finally defeat the older brother that tortured him in the name of "love". Hakuri ascends to being the strongest Sazanami since the progenitor that started their line centuries ago. He's the Special Boy!

All this to say that Hakuri Sazanami isn't just a deuteragonist or a foil…

He's the goddamn heroine.

Kagurabachi's Built Different What makes a shounen series heroine? Firstly, they support the main character without getting involved in most of the heavy fighting. A shounen heroine will usually at most have a fight against another girl while the Big Event is happening nearby, making sure the main character has the spotlight. Second, most of the value they bring to the protagonist's story is emotional. They encourage him, validate him, provide a bit of a refuge for him to safely let his guard down. They can get him to express softer emotions that he wouldn't normally show around others. Third… they're the love interest. Hinata, Orihime, Chichi, and now… Hakuri? Really?

We know the third one will not happen for HakuHiro in canon. But what about the first two? Well, let's recap what Hakuri has done for Chihiro so far.

Hakuri can defend himself now, but his most useful ability is access to an interdimensional storehouse. Given the way that his magic works -he needs to prioritize maintaining the storehouse or using Isou- he'll likely be the means of keeping the enchanted blades safe rather than a front-line fighter. Support-centric character that will still get some combat time against lesser opponents: check.

Hakuri's given Chihiro some much-needed direct emotional validation that he hasn't gotten from anyone else yet. ("You saved me." … "That katana suits you.") Hakuri's words fortify his resolve and Chihiro later pays it back by trading Enten, an incalculably precious sword and memento of his father, for Hakuri's life. He even uses the same phrase when asked why he'd do that for someone as worthless as Hakuri ("That guy… saved me."). He later reaffirms that Hakuri's encouragement gave him the courage to let go of Enten in the first place:

This is AFTER we see Chihiro open up to him for the first time just minutes after they met:

Chihiro's been a stoic good guy with buried trauma up until this point. But somehow Hakuri is the first person he outright admits his fears to- not Shiba, not Hinao, but the freaky kid he just rescued. Emotional support pillar: check.

"Well that's not enough!" you say. "That's just taking some moments and doing that thing you said you didn't do- smushing boys together just because they're close!" OK but look at how Hakuri thinks about Chihiro:

Chihiro has been his inspiration from the first time he saw him. It can be read as admiration and hero worship, but doesn't that feel like selling Hakuri's feelings short when remembering how devoted he's been since they first met?

And just look at Hakuri's face here, he's beaming when Chihiro busts in to save him just like he believed he would:

Mostly, though, Chihiro is the one who gives Hakuri strength in the moment. The Ice Woman broke him free of his family's mentality, and now Chihiro gives Hakuri what he needs most: hope. Something he never had before, which doomed his relationship to the Ice Woman; he couldn't prove to her that there was more to life than despair because that was all he knew… but that completely changed once he met his samurai.

And that's been their thing through this arc. Each one is giving the other the vital thing they needed to grow and keep going. When Hakuri was struggling at the start, Chihiro was his guiding light towards a better future. And when Chihiro struggled in the aftermath of Tenri's cruel death, Hakuri pulled him along so they could finish the job. They're in perfect sync now as they take down the Rakuzaichi. Don't just take my word for it, check out Hokazono-sensei's color page for the most recent chapter (38): https://twitter.com/KaguraShiba/status/1804898273859445181 From Hella (KaguraShiba): >Kagurabachi Ch 38 JP Color Page 「阿吽の呼吸で薙ぎ払え」 "Two people dancing to the same beat, mowing down enemies" >阿吽の呼吸/"Aun no Kokyuu" Synchronized breathing >Or when people are the most in tune with each other >阿吽の呼吸/"Aun no Kokyuu" Is a Buddhist expression in Japanese meaning something close to "harmonizing in sync together" >"Aun" is also used to indicate an "Aun relationship", indicating an inherently harmonious relationship or nonverbal communication Yeesh. But holy shit it's paying off. In chapter 38 these boys are already in harmony- Hakuri registers Chihiro into his storehouse (yes they both "own" each other now) and sends him in to fight his father. During the fight, Chihiro trusts Hakuri to interpret his intent and it works. Chihiro wordlessly tags a bunch of grenades with his spirit energy and Hakuri pulls them out into the real world to bomb the shit out of the Rakuzaichi audience. They didn't plan this beforehand- they had no idea Kyoura had fucking grenades laying around in there. But they're close enough to understand each other's thoughts already. Peak soulmate material right there!

What's got me most interested now, though, is how they will pull/push each other after this arc. Chihiro's going to be focused more than ever on tracking down his father's killer and the swords. But Hakuri, well… I think it would be very interesting if he starts to become a despair monster. A reflection of Chihiro's state at the very start of the manga where nothing mattered to him except exacting revenge. We're seeing shades of this in the most recent chapter (38) where he's slumped over and obviously depressed about how all this is turning out. He's going to end his family's cruel trade but at what cost to himself? Will Chihiro see some of himself in Hakuri and be able to help him out, or at least promise to find relief from the pain together? Obviously a Bad End where Hakuri takes himself out is in the cards given Hokazono-sensei's previous works but… on a meta level, I think his storehouse ability will keep him relevant. I mean yeah he could be used to slap Chihiro across the face by showing what a bad end for his revenge story could look like but I think (hope) that won't happen. [Note to future self: I give you permission to go batshit insane if Chihiro stops Hakuri from committing sudoku.]

And this is where my brain worms are coming from. In just under 20 chapters we have an extremely strong set up between them- so much room for them to teach each other; push to grow and pull back from the brink when tragedy strikes again.

But where's the real meat, you ask? The actual literary analysis in this gushing rant about how much I love these boys I barely know? Well, fine. Buckle up because it's time for some…

Daddy Issues The Rakuzaichi arc really digs into comparing Chihiro's affection for his dad to the Sazanami family structure. And I gotta talk about this because it's the key aspect that makes Hakuri such a brilliant foil.

First off, the similarities. Chihiro and the Sazanami kids are all intensely devoted to their fathers. All of them were raised with love while learning the intricacies of their family trade. We see the Sazanami kids getting praised for doing well, just like Chihiro. Hakuri and Tenri were even told they were special. During the arc, the Sazanami kids put their lives on the line to defend their dad and family legacy with zeal matched by Chihiro's intensity to avenge his dad. When he falls, Tenri's final words are apologizing to his father.

It's truly heartbreaking that Kyora never really loved them back.

You see, the Sazanamis are one of those families that put their lineage and craft over everything else. Every member of the family lives for ensuring the Rakuzaichi auction goes off without a hitch. One of the clan is chosen to inherit the storehouse, and the rest are trained to defend it to the death. Kyoura, the current patriarch, has no compunctions about letting his son Tenri die just to delay Chihiro and the gang for a few more minutes. He had his kids put their lives on the line to defend a storehouse door that he had already broken in secret- making it completely useless. And he's equally cold when it comes to children who can't perform to standards like Hakuri. Once Hakuri (apparently) fails to manifest an ability for sorcery, Kyoura turns a willfully blind eye to the abuse his kid starts to suffer. He knowingly lets Hakuri be tortured by his older brother for years and does nothing, then disowns him once some "merchandise" kills herself in front of him. There's no love for children who can't be useful to the family's traditions. And yet any love that does exist between father and child is manipulated as seen here:

What the fuck man.

So Hakuri is going into this arc firm in his conviction to end his family's evil ways. He's been abused physically and emotionally for at least five years straight; he knows his father doesn't love him. But even now when he's about to bring the whole place down with Chihiro, he's still yearning for his dad's praise. Hakuri's family is fucked up bad and he needs a hell of a lot of healing after all is said and done.

Meanwhile, every flashback with Chihiro shows us that he was truly loved and cared for like every kid deserves. His dad wasn't perfect but he was exactly what a parent should be- kind, understanding, and supportive. His goofy advice helps Chihiro to this day. Chihiro and his dad had a genuine father-son bond that was broken by tragedy and thus Chihiro's desire to do right by his father's memory is driven by grief, first and foremost. So when we see his expression after Tenri's death, we know why he's so badly shaken. They clashed out of love and duty for their fathers, supposedly prepared to pay the ultimate price. The Sazanami version of "love" is a very different, much less wholesome version than the kind Chihiro knows… yet no less effective in terms of motivation.

You can practically hear his heart breaking for Tenri. And his inner thoughts in the next chapter say it all: he was naive to think he could enact revenge while holding fast to the kindness he grew up with. Chihiro's kindness that he learned from his father is a liability to him in this situation. In contrast, Hakuri knew from the start that he had to finally give up the last of his familial affection. He hardened his heart and steeled his resolve to do whatever it took.

Both Chihiro and Hakuri knew what it was like to be loved. Hakuri's version might have been twisted, but it was still painful to have that bond suddenly broken. And now we've seen Edgy Revenge Man's inner softness hold him back while Silly Soft Guy has a heart colder than the arctic. I go absolutely feral comparing and contrasting their situation and how their positions have reversed. Yeah, Chihiro's going to be the action guy who saves the day but Hakuri's the reason he can do it. Hakuri's surprisingly strong core has pushed Chihiro to put his feelings aside to get things done. I can't fucking wait to see how this arc ends and where these boys end up. What will the the most important thing Chihiro takes away from Hakuri here? I hope it leads him to be a bit more openly compassionate and soft around his allies- Hakuri's situation being a lesson in not letting your family's bonds overtake everything else. For Hakuri, well… I think being around Chihiro, Char, and the rest will help him heal. But I hope it's Chihiro that keeps him stable as the person that can relate to him best.

Meta Ramblings Whew. Now then… Yo dumbass writing this, we're not even 40 chapters in yet. Don't you think it's a bit too soon to start getting hyped for a character that could be shelved as soon as the arc is done?

It's interesting to see the themes and characters Hokazono-sensei's reused in Kagurabachi. From the four one-shots available to read, it seems like he's is interested in writing about characters encountering tragedy through various kinds of love. I think it's intriguing that three out of the four end in despair, and the one that doesn't still involves a fair bit of sadness. It's a bit early to say about Hakuri's circumstances since this is only the second proper arc in the series, but given Hokazono-sensei's past works, I think Hakuri is here to stay. For one, Hokazono-sensei seems to love his color-coded foils (Chain, Enten, Roku no Meiyaku). Farewell! Cherry Boy also explores the circumstances of a blindly loyal boy who feels useless being given his first chance to prove himself… I think this is a theme that Hokazono-sensei is revisiting in a more in-depth fashion with Hakuri, so there's a good chance there's more planned.

And just for fun, if we want to look at his romance stories… Madogiwa de Amu is all about one person being the other's greatest hope, their reason to persevere in the face of hardship and seeing that reciprocated in turn. Complete with the weaker person becoming strong enough to protect the person who inspired them first. Hmm. (Hopefully it doesn't end the same way though 'cause man, I can see Hakuri doing something similar right now…) It's also not impossible for Kagurabachi to touch on love given we see Farewell! Cherry Boy incorporating love as the crux of the narrative, despite starting as a gangster story. The true MC is quite like Chihiro as well in terms of motivation and action plan.

I also think it's impossible to overstate how important it is for Chihiro to have a friendly peer to compare to, narratively speaking. Char is a woobie, Shiba's an uncle figure, and Hiyuki is set up to be the aggro rival/frenemy. Hinao could become more than a side character but it seems unlikely at this time. Chihiro needs someone his own age to just be himself with. And that, I am 99% sure, will be Hakuri. A guy who's suffered just as much as he has. Someone who knows what it's like to have a famous last name and lineage to protect. An equal who's unquestionably on his side, who will lift him up when he's down, yet will still need some protection and care. So yes I think Hakuri will be sticking around to be Chihiro's foil. He might take a back seat at times as heroines do, but he'll still be there to support our sad boi through thick and thin.

Anyway that's why I'm ready to jump feet-first into this ship. It's got all the hallmarks of a wonderfully strong bond and I hope we get to see these boys comforting each other for years to come. If you read all this… thank you? Maybe get yourself checked for brain worms? And tell everyone you know to read this amazing action-packed tragedy laced with BL crack cocaine.