#twitter may have contributed for this attack to happen in the first place?

[watcher0033]

Mega thread of AO3 on the DDoS Attack situation:

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) defended her anti-LGBTQ rhetoric after she was widely denounced online in the wake of the Club Q shooting for stoking violence against LGBTQ people.

“That is completely false,” she told Ross Kaminsky on KOA, an AM radio station. “I have never had bad rhetoric towards anyone and their personal preference as an adult.”

Sexual orientation is not a “personal preference” and minors can have sexual orientations. In fact, Boebert herself got pregnant for the first time when she was in high school.

This past Saturday, a shooter entered the LGBTQ bar Club Q in Colorado Springs, Colorado, killed five people, and injured 18 with an AR-15-style weapon before being subdued.

Boebert released a statement saying that “the victims & their families are in my prayers” and was immediately slammed online after spreading hateful rhetoric against LGBTQ people for years, something people said may have contributed to anti-LGBTQ violence.

“You encourage this type of hatred,” Chasten Buttigieg – the husband of out Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg – responded. “Get off Twitter and start looking inward.”

It didn’t take long in the radio interview for Boebert to go back to bashing LGBTQ people.

“What I’ve criticized is the sexualization of our children,” she said, an expression conservatives use to refer to a wide range of actions, including teaching kids that some families have two mothers or two fathers and allowing LGBTQ clubs to form in high schools. It’s unclear exactly what she was referring to.

“And I’ve criticized men dressing up as caricatures of women,” she continued. Drag is an art form with deep roots in LGBTQ culture, and the idea is to play with gender, often to express one’s own femininity, masculinity, or androgyny.

“We don’t need six-year-old children putting dollar bills in the thongs of grown men shaking and twerking in front of children,” Boebert said, possibly referring to a viral photo of a child putting money in the thong of a straight, cisgender woman burlesque performer. “That is child abuse.”

“If there’s an issue that comes up where the government, the public system, is sexualizing our children I’m going to stand up against that. Absolutely. Children can’t get tattoos, but they can be chemically castrated, they could have fixed changes as minors,” she said, again spreading the lie that kids are getting “castrated.” Puberty blockers – what she’s likely referring to – are reversible and have been shown to reduce lifelong suicide risk among trans people. Moreover, taking them is a decision families make with doctors, not with high school dropouts like Boebert.

“It’s gotten worse and worse,” Colorado state Rep. Brianna Titone (D), who is trans, said about anti-LGBTQ rhetoric. “So it’s not a surprise to me, and to a lot of other people that we’re at this point where a violent attack is happening, and it’s happening in a place like [Club Q] because this has been brewing for a long time.”

[darkelfchicksick]

Ich habe 1.714 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

Das sind 486 more posts als 2021!

264 Einträge erstellt (15%)

1.450 Einträge gerebloggt (85%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@tayilapologist

@eisbecherovka

@natalieironside

@unpretty

@ptactwo

Ich habe 757 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

#everquest 2 – 89 Einträge

#the locked tomb – 50 Einträge

#my art – 40 Einträge

#eq inktober – 24 Einträge

#everquest – 22 Einträge

#lucan d'lere – 19 Einträge

#eq2 – 18 Einträge

#tlt – 17 Einträge

#tayil n'velex – 15 Einträge

#pentiment – 15 Einträge

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#a song with two first verses that are so fucking perfect for your fantasy bullshit story. a soldier with his big big sword. the poet who'll

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

#5

two young men were killed in a shooting in a gay bar in Bratislava, Slovakia, last evening

another person was shot and is in the hospital, but their life isn't in danger

the perpetrator fled the scene but has since reportedly been found dead

an anonymous twitter profile that is believed to belong to the perpetrator posted a queerphobic and antisemitic manifesto hours before the attack, citing breivik and hitler as inspiration.

the german article i found has some more info than the first one, but is in german.

105 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 13. Oktober 2022

#4

harrow isn't FEMME harrow wears ROBES because she's a goddamn WIZARD

115 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 20. Mai 2022

#3

alright, so, on a personal note re:crab rave

earlier this year i was fact-checking a planner that had a page with "fun facts about canada" in it

one of the fun facts? queen Elizabeth ii is head of state

this was during the height of the "she's already dead" conspiracy theory

so i decided, quite reasonably, to suggest changing the sentence to "king or queen of england," juuust in case she dies before the new school year starts. i got shot down, of course, and at the end of the day, whatever. as always with my job, literally whatever. gets printed with lizzie's name in it

i forget about it

September 8th: crab day

September 13th: the new school year starts

i love being right

191 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 9. September 2022

#2

So where *is* Tassing, actually?

Obviously it’s nowhere. But actually, it’s also several specific places in a specific area.

As someone who lives and has lived in several parts of Oberbayern, I'm so tickled by placing Tassing on a map. While trying to find a region it would fit in with all the clues the game gives, I also found several monasteries that probably contributed to the way Kiersau was written and created.

Names

Tassing fits a common naming scheme in Oberbayern. Places with an -ing name in Austria and Altbayern (roughly congruent with the present-day administrative districts Upper Bavaria, Lower Bavaria and Upper Palatinate) were founded in a specific time frame, the Baiuvarian Settling of the Alps. Up until the 7th century CE, the alpine landscape was inhabited by slavs, but from the 7th to 9th century, the Baiuvarii, a germanic group of people, moved into the area and ended up either displacing or integrating the slavic people into their own society. Examples of Baiuvarian -ing names in Upper Bavaria include Pasing (With the people of Paso/Paoso/Poso/Poaso), Menzing (With the people of Menzo) or Poing (With the people of Piuwo). Tassing might have been re-settled, founded or just be associated with a man named Tasso, and should be located somewhere in Altbayern.

Kiersau is a strange name to me and finding an etymologically-based interpretation, like for Tassing, is harder. (In general, trying to find etymologies for place names is often more educated guessing than anything else.) The Bavarian meaning of Au (or Aue) is a flat piece of land with meadows and forests located near a river (also: floodplain). The problematic part is Kiers. I'm choosing to put it down as Kirsche, cherry. Why? Well, cherry trees were brought across the Alps by Romans, and the Roman past of Kiersau and Tassing is important to the story. It might also just be a reference to Hirsau, a famous Benedictine monastery in the Black Forest.

None of the first or last names of the peasants, merchants or craftsmen in Tassing give any kind of hint as to where the place is located. Names like Bauer (farmer), Gertner (gardener) or Zimmermann (carpenter) are extremely common, and the more uncommon ones, like Alban, don't help narrowing it down either.

Area

We get one look at an Early Modern map of Europe, with a few mountain ranges, rivers, some of the most siginficant trade roads, and Tassing marked on it. We know that Tassing is part of the Prince-Bishopric of Freising in 1518 and borders directly on Tyrolia. We know it's in Bavaria, which I'm deciding to identify as the Bavarian territory of the Holy Roman Empire. I'm not getting into the true borders of Bavaria on my overly researched Pentiment post. We also learn that one of the Roman trade routes, possibly relateed to salt, was built to run past Tassing, and that Tassing is located somewhere in the province of Raetia. To identify and overlap all these areas, I have committed a horrible cartographic crime in Photoshop!

I have marked Raetia in yellow, the Roman roads in red, the Prince-Bishopric in brown and the Bavarian territory in blue. This first map shows these areas in a European context.

This one is a closer shot of the whole possible location of Tassing. Now, you might have noticed a little red dot in the lower right, outside of any of the possible areas, right there in Eastern Tyrolia?

Vollständigen Eintrag ansehen

209 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 23. November 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

the popular German kid's science and knowledge program, die sendung mit der maus, aired a segment with and about trans people today!

670 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 27. März 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

[pashterlengkap]

Lauren Boebert lashes out at LGBTQ critics

Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) defended her anti-LGBTQ rhetoric after she was widely denounced online in the wake of the Club Q shooting for stoking violence against LGBTQ people. “That is completely false,” she told Ross Kaminsky on KOA, an AM radio station. “I have never had bad rhetoric towards anyone and their personal preference as an adult.” Sexual orientation is not a “personal preference” and minors can have sexual orientations. In fact, Boebert herself got pregnant for the first time when she was in high school. This past Saturday, a shooter entered the LGBTQ bar Club Q in Colorado Springs, Colorado, killed five people, and injured 18 with an AR-15-style weapon before being subdued. Boebert released a statement saying that “the victims & their families are in my prayers” and was immediately slammed online after spreading hateful rhetoric against LGBTQ people for years, something people said may have contributed to anti-LGBTQ violence. “You encourage this type of hatred,” Chasten Buttigieg – the husband of out Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg – responded. “Get off Twitter and start looking inward.” It didn’t take long in the radio interview for Boebert to go back to bashing LGBTQ people. “What I’ve criticized is the sexualization of our children,” she said, an expression conservatives use to refer to a wide range of actions, including teaching kids that some families have two mothers or two fathers and allowing LGBTQ clubs to form in high schools. It’s unclear exactly what she was referring to. “And I’ve criticized men dressing up as caricatures of women,” she continued. Drag is an art form with deep roots in LGBTQ culture, and the idea is to play with gender, often to express one’s own femininity, masculinity, or androgyny. “We don’t need six-year-old children putting dollar bills in the thongs of grown men shaking and twerking in front of children,” Boebert said, possibly referring to a viral photo of a child putting money in the thong of a straight, cisgender woman burlesque performer. “That is child abuse.” “If there’s an issue that comes up where the government, the public system, is sexualizing our children I’m going to stand up against that. Absolutely. Children can’t get tattoos, but they can be chemically castrated, they could have fixed changes as minors,” she said, again spreading the lie that kids are getting “castrated.” Puberty blockers – what she’s likely referring to – are reversible and have been shown to reduce lifelong suicide risk among trans people. Moreover, taking them is a decision families make with doctors, not with high school dropouts like Boebert. “It’s gotten worse and worse,” Colorado state Rep. Brianna Titone (D), who is trans, said about anti-LGBTQ rhetoric. “So it’s not a surprise to me, and to a lot of other people that we’re at this point where a violent attack is happening, and it’s happening in a place like [Club Q] because this has been brewing for a long time.” http://dlvr.it/SdRZm7

[only-johnny-deppp]

“Johnny Depp has not been arrested, charged nor convicted of any form of assault or violence against any woman.” 

Last Monday (August 9), was announced that Johnny will attend and be honored with the “Donostia Award”, on September 22, during the 69th San Sebastian Festival, in Spain. The Donostia Award is the highest honorary award of the festival, being given to a number of actors and film directors, every year since 1986. It recognizes outstanding contributions to the film world of great names that will be part of cinema history forever. 

On the same day, some people started to question why Johnny was chosen to receive an honorary award, due Ms. Heards’ Hoax about being a “victim” of domestic violence. And the director of the festival, José Luis Rebordinos, had to release an official statement to press.

“The Donostia Award to Johnny Depp is our recognition of a great actor, a man of cinema with a great career, who visited us last year as producer of the film ‘Crock Of Gold: A Few Rounds With Shane MacGowan’, by Julien Temple, which won the Special Jury Prize.”  ~ Jose Luis Rebordinos, Director of the San Sebastian Film Festival, August 9, 2021.

 But it was not enough. 

As soon as the news started to spread, it was revealed by BBC NEWS that those who still believe and protect Amber Heard’s lies, started to send hate messages and threats to those involved on the festival:

The The Women's Aid Federation, said this was “disrespectful to abuse survivors.” , while the Solace Women's Aid, which is one of the members of festival’s organizations, said that such awards were "misleading" and "insulting".

And the hate attacks continued:

> Sophie Francis-Cansfield, campaigns and policy manager at Women's Aid, according to the BBC NEWS, said: "When a perpetrator is celebrated, allowing them to continue to garner success and public approval suggests that abuse is acceptable and does not matter. Survivors must be believed and supported. It is crucial that survivors know that their experiences will be taken seriously and that abuse will not be tolerated by anyone."

Although neither she, nor The Women's Aid Federation shared a thing about it on their twitter, but on Women’s Aid account there’s a post written:

“Perpetrators often create justifications for their actions — to place blame on survivors and take away any responsibility from themselves.”

So, remember when Amber Heard CONFESSED she punched Johnny? 

“You didn’t get punched. You got hit! I’m sorry I hit you like this, But I did not punch you. I did not f*cking deck you. I f*cking was hitting you!” - Amber Heard (ambassador for women’s rights, outspoken domestic violence and sexual violence awareness)

> Erin Mansell, Solace's public affairs manager,  according to the BBC NEWS,   said: "When perpetrators of domestic abuse are lauded for their professional achievements in spite of evidence they have assaulted current or former partners, it sends a misleading message to survivors that the abuse doesn't matter. The decision to award this lifetime achievement prize is particularly insulting in the wake of a year where domestic abuse spiraled under conditions needed to address a global pandemic." 

> Cristina Andreu, president of Association of Female Filmmakers and Audiovisual Media (“Asociación de Mujeres Cineastas y de Medios Audiovisuales” - in Spanish), a professional association based in Madrid, said: “This speaks very badly of the festival and its leadership, and transmits a terrible message to the public… It doesn’t matter if you are an abuser as long as you are a good actor”. A full statement (in Spanish) criticizing the decision of the festival can be read HERE.  

Due to it, José Luis Rebordinos, Director of the San Sebastian Festival, released a new and longer statement on the festival’s site, revealing that evidences proving Johnny’s innocence were given to them BEFORE taking the decision.

“Following the announcement that the Donostia Award will go to the actor and producer Johnny Depp, the San Sebastian Festival has been accused of failing to display ethical behaviour in regard to violence against women. In the first place, as the director of and person holding the highest responsibility for the Festival, I would like to repeat our commitment to fighting inequality, the abuse of power and violence against women. As well as meeting the commitments acquired in the Charter for Parity and the Inclusion of Women in Cinema, the Festival has consciously promoted the presence of female professionals at the head of its departments. By means of its September programme and throughout the year it participates in the questioning of society from a critical and feminist point of view. We have also endeavoured to create safe atmospheres for women in the Festival places of work and sites and, in the event of inappropriate behaviour, which has occurred, we have taken tough and rapid action. 

But the Festival’s ethical commitments cannot only refer to the problems of women in a patriarchal society, despite the terrible nature of the situation in which we live, where hundreds of women are killed every year as the result of crimes by men. 

In these present times, when lynching on social media is rife, we will always defend two basic principles which form part of our culture and of our body of laws: that of the presumption of innocence and that of the right to reintegration. According to the proven data which we have to hand, Johnny Depp has not been arrested, charged nor convicted of any form of assault or violence against any woman. We repeat: he has not been charged by any authority in any jurisdiction, nor convicted of any form of violence against women. 

The rejection of all violent behaviour and the presumption of innocence are and will always be our ethical principles. 

José Luis Rebordinos, Director of the San Sebastian Festival (August 13, 2021)”

Just in case you didn’t know, it seems that these evidences has been giving to ALL of those who wants to contribute with Johnny, maybe given by his lawyers or even by himself to clarify and prove his innocence This had happen with J.K. Rowling (who saw and revealed has seen all the papers before giving him the role of Grindelwald), and probably with the following directors, producers and festivals with whom he has worked or was invited.

Can you imagine how sad it’s to show a paper and revive all those terrifying moments just to prove you are not the abuser, but the victim?

Has Amber Heard shown her “proves” of being a “victim”, or people has forgotten that she CONFESSED DOZENS of her abuses, lies, cheats, and all the bad things she did toward Johnny Depp?

So, what about those who believe him and KNOWS the TRUTH, tag them on Twitter and show the REAL evidences?  Let’s share the REAL truth. Information is never enough!

> To: Sophie Francis-Cansfield and The Women's Aid Federation:

Women’s aid Twitter: https://twitter.com/womensaid Sophie Francis-Cansfield Twitter: https://twitter.com/SophieFranCan

They also have an e-mail, open for “discussing what domestic violence and abuse is”, maybe some e-mails about who Amber Heard is may clear their minds. E-MAIL: helpline@womensaid.org.uk

> To: Erin Mansell and Solace Women’s Aid:

Erin Mansell: https://twitter.com/ErinLauraManse Solace Women’s Aid: https://twitter.com/SolaceWomensAid E-MAIL: https://www.solacewomensaid.org/about-us/contact-us

> To: Cristina Andreu  and the Association of Female Filmmakers and Audiovisual Media (“Asociación de Mujeres Cineastas y de Medios Audiovisuales ~CIMA”)

CIMA twitter: https://twitter.com/CIMAcineastas Cristina Andreu Twitter: https://twitter.com/CristinaAndreuC The open statement on twitter:  https://twitter.com/CIMAcineastas/status/1425342920522096640

Johnny Depp WILL NOT BE SILENCED or BELITTLED or ASHAMED or CANCELED again!

“Ultimately, the truth will come out in all of this and I will be standing on the right side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will be too.” ~Johnny Depp

#JusticeforJohnnyDepp #JohnnyDeppIsInnocent #WeAreWithYouJohnnyDepp #IBelieveHim #AmberHeardIsAnAbuser

[diaryofanangryasianguy]

A letter to #stopasianhate

We’ve all seen the rise and the fading of the hashtag but instead of crying about why it’s not pinned, it’s important to actually talk about the issue and where we go from here.

Do people even know why it started? Who started it? The boiling point was obviously the Atlanta spa shootings in combination with anti-Asian hate crimes and covid but anti-Asian racism has existed long before the hate crimes of 2021 and 2020 and long before covid in 2019. It’s just that mainstream media attention has only picked it up over the last year and a half or so. Some of y’all, or perhaps most of y’all just haven’t been paying attention to your fellow Asian human beings.

Like any other form of racism, it’s an experience over a lifetime and shapes the quality of life for both individuals and groups over the course of generations in a triple constant state of time in the past, present, and future AND is committed by individuals, groups, societies, and the social systems that keep our current world going. It’s like air, it’s everywhere. Now obviously, we can’t get into everything since this isn’t an extensive history lesson but Anti-Asian racism isn’t just something that started a year ago nor is it exclusive to western countries, which is something we’re all really fucking tired of saying and arguing over.

#stopasianhate is a grassroots, on-the-ground-street movement that was started by Asian people that were new to the activist scene and also had little to no activist knowledge, many that were getting involved (or had the courage to) for the first time. It was not born from large political or organizational think-tanks. It was born out of sadness and anger at the most basic human level by the most basic, everyday people. And because it was born in such a way, it didn’t gain much traction or support among some groups, such as the right-wingers that don’t think racism hinders the quality of life nor from the leftists that demand more from new activists who don’t even know much to begin with. The attacks and insults come from both sides.

#stopasianhate was and is still plagued by ignorance, erasure, and elitism. And let’s not act like racists, non-Asian individuals, and Asian leftists haven’t been trying to discredit the movement since the very beginning. Who it did bring in and appeal to however, were the larger, semi-apolitical masses that wanted to do something—anything. Thus we started to see the bridge and coalition-building between the masses that may not have known much, through no fault of their own, and between those that did have some knowledge and were willing to educate or spread awareness. Of course, we are still seeing that now and in my opinion, it’s better to bring in and teach folks than to discredit or even degrade them before they even begin the journey into something as complex as race and racism, as simple as it may sound.

Though the movement is still on-going, it has largely faded from mainstream attention and tumblr is probably one of the only social media sites where some people still use it on the daily, though there are pocket communities that still use it on Twitter and Facebook for example. In my opinion, it was a missed opportunity for us Asian folks to build the movement into something far beyond ourselves. If we can’t even push a movement that was made by us and for us, what changes can we expect in the long run?

Too often have I seen Asian folks fighting over the fucking name of the hashtag instead of building on it into a larger mass movement to address the reasons as to why it even came about in the first place, reasons that stretch back years, decades, and centuries even. It ain’t just the divide-and-conquer tactics of white supremacy that break up or stagger movements, sometimes it’s just the little petty in-fighting bullshit like that.

Now this isn’t to say #stopasianhate has failed or anything, not even close. I’ve seen people across the US, to Canada, to Australia, across Europe, even folks in Asia and elsewhere that have pushed the movement. For the basic, everyday person to come together with others to create a movement spanning one part of the globe to the other is amazing and highlights the power that people wield when they are united on something. It shows that we as Asian people regardless of country, ethnicity, nationality, gender, class, sexual orientation, political and religious beliefs, and everything else, could come together on one thing if nothing else. Who says we can’t come together because we can, we did, and we will.

Movements don’t stop just because a hashtag gains less traction or because the mainstream media ain’t reporting on it as much. Movements have always been here and will continue to be built so long as people come together as we always have. So sure #stopasianhate isn’t as mainstream as it once was but who’s to say that Asian people aren’t organizing, building, and rallying as they’ve always done in the past, present, and future, and across the US and other countries across the globe? There are movements all across the world right now if you pay a bit more attention.

So where do we go from here? That’s up to us, simple enough. We don’t need to be activists to do something or say something. We don’t need qualifications to speak on something that we know is morally, ethnically, and just plain humanly fucking wrong. And we certainly don’t need to set a goal so fucking high, it can’t even be done in our lifetimes. I really hate this toxic elitism in social justice spaces where people only want to do something or celebrate when society is completely fucking destroyed or something. Honestly, that shit ain’t happening anytime soon so shut the fuck up about it and find ways to navigate and change shit, if not for yourself then for people beyond you and ultimately for society as a whole.

Who cares if someone is only concerned about politics and signing bills? Who cares if someone is only concerned about media representation and movies? Who cares if someone is only concerned about opening up a small business or owning something for themselves? Who cares if someone just wants to draw or make music or write stories or play sports or something else? Let people do what they do best in THEIR field or passion.

When it comes down to it, we need ALL people across ALL fields and passions to contribute to the larger means of human rights and social justice. It ain’t about grooming everybody to adopt some grand utopian self-destruction plan that doesn’t have any fucking sense of reality. It’s about compassion, rebirth, discovery, change, creation, and whatever other shit that comes about when basic, common, everyday ass people come together to do something beyond themselves. And in the grand scheme of things, #stopasianhate is just one of the many proofs of that.

Regardless of where we go and what we do, #stopasianhate is part of human history in the year 2021 and for that, even with all its criticisms and support, you as a movement have my love and this letter is being offered to you.

[rebornthestage]

[2021.08.22] Kitamura Kento (Hibari) 17LIVE livestream

(I live translated his stream, so there may be details I'm missing/misheard.)

Starting remarks:

He wants to play Hibari more

He usually has great memories of the plays he's worked on, but not quite for this one; It doesn't feel like it ended yet.

He feels like they can do the play again, do the future arc again

His little bro is a big fan of Amano's works, especially KHR, so he's very familiar with this series

His brother is babysitting in the US, so he sends him clips of the play lol

It's only been half a year since he started Twitter and he appreciates all the support (likes, RTs, replies)

His faves are Dino and Primo in the manga. He loves their visuals. He thinks they look cool.

He actually wants to play as Primo lmao

Was excited when he heard James was playing Dino; he's worked with him in at least 3 plays (?, Hakuouki SSL, Hataraki Saibou); Met the first time in a while thanks to this stage

Q&A Section:

Q: Why do you have so many Hibird photos in your makeup area?

A: They're from Yamamoto Ryosuke! Ryosuke receives a Hibird photo from the production team every performance, so he gives them all to Kento since he's Hibari after all. He has around 8 of them. Sometimes Ryosuke forgets to give it to him and he feels unnecessarily disappointed lmao

Q: Thoughts on receiving Hibari's role A: First he wondered a lot about how he'd portray Hibari's fighting style, and tried to portray his cloud-like, untouchable feeling. Kento was set on fighting with "pauses" and "urgency" for Hibari. Hibari's the fastest in thinking and acting, like that time when everyone was panicking about Byakuran's attack, while Hibari immediately left to check on Namimori since that's where the attack landed.

Hibari can also be misleading. When the Real 6 Funeral wreaths landed at Namimori, he was first to speak. However, just when you think he was going to propose a plan, he just states that one of them landed in Namimori, which makes you wonder just how much he loves the place haha.

That unexpectedness makes him interesting to the viewers. He tends to speak, pause in the middle, and then change his tone/aura when he continues his sentence.

Q: Thoughts on Hibari before and after playing him A: He talked about this in his blog post. After playing him, he thinks of other people more than you'd expect. He acts to protect Namimori, and as a result, saves people.

Q: Have you planned the curtain call interactions with Ryohei and Lambo beforehand? A: Nope. That was all thanks to Kimeru adlibbing, and Kento has no idea when Ryohei will jump in lol.

On a tangent, but he very much admires Kimeru for perfectly playing his role. He has already perfected the role even when they just started rehearsing. He has the formula for Lambo down pat. This makes it easy for someone to copy and stand in for him during rehearsals.

Q: Can you share more info on the action parts? A: Every week he gets the stunts instructor to teach him something new, then he practices it on his own for the rest of the week.

Apparently, he practiced while facing a tree at the park, haha. A lot of people commented, saying they want to be the tree. He was like, "No way lol". There were so many people wanting to become trees that he said they were going to turn into a forest lol.

He then talks in detail about how to do a roundhouse kick properly lmao. The left leg/standing leg is important apparently lmao. He repeats this sentence a couple of times and demonstrates it with his fingers.

Sometimes he got tired after doing it so many times. However, when he started doing 1 hour stretches everyday, it became a lot easier.

Does aftercare? (Is that the right term to use here? haha) after practice because it's a lot of strain on his left leg and arm.

Q: What are your similarities with Hibari? A: He likes to do things on his own. Hyperfocused on what he likes. Is stubborn.

He likes to have a lot of preparation before taking something on...

He'll leave when he feels like leaving, lol

Q: Thoughts on Tsuna and Hibari's relationship, and your relationship with Takenaka Ryohei A: Tsuna is an important person in Present and Future Hibari's life.

Takenaka Ryohei is amazing. He has a different reaction to Present Hibari and TYL Hibari and he can really see and feel it... Ryohei's act really contributes to Kento's own acting. It's because Ryohei reacted that way that Hibari seems even more fearsome.

Ryohei can portray Tsuna's fear of TYL!Hibari, but then also show a different reaction when he stops Present!Hibari during Choice.

Usually, it should be the protagonist who would do something proactively while everyone else reacts. As the protagonist, but it's hard to give large reactions. However, in KHR, it's often Tsuna who reacts. It's because Tsuna reacts in a certain way that you can figure out what type of person the other character is. Ryohei is amazing for being able to do that role.

Q: Was it you playing as Alaude's silhouette? A: Yes. Yamamoto also played as Ugetsu.

Random tidbit: At the part where Deisy gets caught with the huge handcuffs, they didn't have those huge handcuffs until they were at the venue lol. So they've been practicing without it until then.

That's why his actions during that scene slowly started to change, since he began to have ideas on what else he could do at that scene.

Q: Thoughts on the Hibari switch scene A: He asked viewers when they realized it wasn't Kento as Hibari onstage? On their first watch? During the stream?

Daiki tried really hard to copy Kento's Hibari, like his walk so people wouldn't catch on. Was really happy when it was decided Daiki was the one who'll be his body double. He actually thought it would be an ensemble doing it, until 2 weeks (?) into rehearsals

Q: Happenings onstage? A: He doesn't really want to talk about it... However, after he turned 25, he's become more open to his mistakes so he can talk about this now haha.

When wearing suits, he wants to look suave and used to wearing them. Having the box in his pants pocket ruins the silhouette of the suit, and so would placing it in his chest pocket, even though the latter seems cool. He talked with the costume designers to add some sort of leather pouch (?) at his waist.

However, after putting the box in and out of the pouch so many times, the leather pouch worse out and became looser. In one performance, the box dropped to the floor sometime without his notice. ("Roll rolled." LOL)

During his fight with Genkishi, he stuck his hand in the pouch while talking and realized it wasn't there. He was like, Oh Shit, lmao. Then clumsily tried to hide the fact that he has no box by taking out his hand and only showing the back of it to the audience, lmao.

He watched a clip of that performance afterwards and learned that the box fell while he did a roundhouse kick.

Also, during the fight with Deisy, he can't see anything. The lights were so bright. When he twirls the handcuffs, it has to face a certain side so that the cuff would close, but sometimes it ends up facing the wrong side, so he has to twirl it back. However, it's hard to figure out if it's facing the right side or not because of the light, so he accidentally dropped the handcuffs once.

(There were actually a few fan reports saying that Kento seemed to drop his props often lol)

Q: Thoughts on Hibari unbuttoning his suit before fighting A: When raising your arm while wearing suits, the middle part scrunches open and he doesn't like that. He wants Hibari to look flawless, so he tried to make it part of the act to unbutton the suit.

He doesn't do this for the part where he trains Tsuna, since he doesn't want to make it like Hibari's doing it for appearances. He tries to make it seem like it's an act Hibari does when he expects a good fight.

Q: Any special training? A: He has a lower center of gravity because he played ice hockey seriously for 9 years. He's jealous of actors who took karate and dance since they are useful skills as an actor. He believes that playing ice hockey and balancing on ice skates really contributed to doing action scenes.

Q: Do you do any weight/muscle training? A: He used to go to the gym, but stopped because of covid. He apparently started classic ballet recently. He likes gaining strength without getting too bulked up. Before he hated wearing tight clothes, but now he has embraced it lmao

Q: Any KHR weapons he would like to try? A: He likes Japanese swords, so he likes Yamamoto's sword style.

When Chrome was handed the Devil Lens, he wondered how one would fight with it? How do you make it look like you use it often? Do you twirl it like a pen?

He's seen James' whip skills live during Secret Bullet and was very impressed that James was able to use them to the fullest. It's a weapon you can more easily hurt yourself with after all.

During rehearsals, there wasn't a center door to come out from, so he had to wait at the sides while Dino and Deisy were fighting. Hibari often comes out from the center door, so he calls Hibari a "Center Door Guy", lol.

Q: Judging from how fast you changed into the yukata during curtain call, are you the type of person who changes clothes fast? A: He has to change from suit to yukata in 1 minute and 30 seconds and be careful not to make Hibari look sloppy, so he was really worried about it... That's why you'd see him touching his collar from time to time.

Final Words

He asks fans to answer the Reborn! The Stage questionnaire and request for a rerun of the Future arc stage plays. They were able to change the future in Future arc, so he believes we can change the future in real life as well. A rerun isn't impossible in his opinion.

He'd love to livestream again sometime with others, like Daiki-kun (Glo Xinia/Dino), and Daiki-kun, and Daiki-kun.😂

[obsidian-aurora]

As I’m about to dive into the events of 227 in my fanfic, I thought now is a good moment to take some time to reflect on the past year.

Words:  1,086,764

Chapters:  131/?

Comments:  2206

Kudos:  4065

Bookmarks:  350

Hits:  161449

If you can believe it, I started writing this fic almost a year ago now.  I’ve written the equivalent of a novel a month this whole year! Nuts. I watched The Untamed for the first time over a year ago.  My soul was captured by the light that I saw in Xiao Zhan’s and Yibo’s eyes when they looked at each other. And I haven’t stopped believing in the power of love since then.

Sounds corny?  Yeah, kind of is.

It’s hard to imagine that when I started writing this fic, the Special Edition hadn’t come out yet.  There was only the official BTS on the Tencent channel to watch - as well as a pile of interviews and fanmeetings.  There were no secret Discord groups, I didn’t even have a Twitter account.  I had this old blog of mine on Tumblr and an old AO3 account that I dusted off to start writing some fanfiction again.

Did you know I’m a self-published author?  Oh yeah, for years I wrote nothing but my own novels.  You can check them out here at lillybirdsong.com

I thought to myself, I’ll just write a short fanfic over the course of December.  I’ll publish it in January and rid my system of this bug I’ve got and then move on.  Now, a year later and I still can’t stop writing about these boys.  What is it?  It’s all about love.  It’s about the belief that against all odds, whether it’s living in a society that doesn’t support LGBT individuals, whether it’s struggling with management companies that don’t support you in your own careers, against all odds Love Wins™.

Or does it?

I’m about to embark on writing the 227 part of the fanfiction and I thought it was really important for me to remind everyone that what I’m writing here is not a bible, it’s not a biography, it’s a piece of fiction that’s my own personal interpretation of what might have happened.  I’m saying this because it’s soul-crushing to imagine what might have taken place behind closed doors, the conversations that would have happened, the thoughts that would have spun out of control.

I mean, I just remember my own journey.  Some of which is documented right here on Tumblr.  I wrote one of my first artist blogs when I hit 50 chapters on Yizhan in early Feb.  I wrote a post when Xiao Zhan fans first started calling out AO3 for hosting inflammatory material. I wrote a post when I considered whether this fic should be abandoned. I wrote a post when Coronavirus brought me back home on a plane way earlier than expected.  I wrote a post in April when I completed 80 chapters, and at the end of May when I completed 100 chapters.

I’ve gone a bit dark on Tumblr since I moved to Twitter where there’s a lot more BJYX interaction going on, but Twitter is not a good place for a long post so I’m once again spilling my thoughts here on Tumblr.

Writing about 227

As I start to write about this, I’m going to pick and choose which rumours I will write into the story and which I’ll discard.  Because let’s get real - there are a lot of rumours out there, and no one except those people intimately involved will know the truth of the matter.  I do choose to believe some of the malicious rumours.  And so I will include some of them.

Don’t start a war in my comments section. I beg you.  I’ll just have to end up moderating my comments which I never wanted to do.

Disagreements within the fandom

I’ve noticed more and more “extreme” behaviour within the BJYX fandom.  I feel like ever since the “secret” BTS (which are mostly the same as what we saw in the official BTS just longer cuts) have whipped turtles up into a frenzy! And when someone has a different opinion or when someone likes to spout theories about what their small interactions might mean in the context of the bigger picture, that can cause harm.

So I’m saying right now - everyone’s entitled to their own points of view. No one knows the truth but the ones involved.

Don’t bring your disagreements to my fic.

Respect in public spaces

I have also stated this on Twitter but I want to put my 2 cents here as well.  I’ve also been uncomfortable lately with the amount of public discourse about body parts, about sex positions, really really intimate things. If you want to write fanfics or draw fanart to explore these interpretations, I say go for it! That’s appropriate because it’s within the realm of fantasy. But when it comes down to really speculating about what’s going on in the private lives of these two men we love so much, I personally would rather those conversations be relegated to private spaces - Discord, WhatsApp.  Not Twitter and Tumblr. So you’ll notice that I’ve unfollowed and even blocked some accounts recently that cross a line I’m not comfortable with.

When I do that, it’s not about you, it’s not a personal attack. That’s just me not being comfortable with the content that’s being created in the space it’s being distributed. If you want to chat with me about it, I’m very open to having that discussion in DM. I’ve been called a hypocrite for my views given that my story is an explicit one, but in my mind there’s a clear distinction between me publishing a story on AO3 and people discussing their real private lives in public spaces like Twitter.  That’s just my point of view and I mean no offence to those that feel the opposite.

As usual, I always have my finger on the trigger to take Yizhan down the moment it causes harm to the boys in question.

Other interesting things I’ve done lately:

I’ve been publishing some Fanart.  (See the pic at the end of this post as an example). Follow me on Twitter @ObsidianAurora to get the latest as I usually post things first there. I’ll try to remember to post things here as well.

I started a YouTube Channel. It’s called Queer Stories and it’s my space to talk about all things queer - video games, TV shows, and yeah sometimes even how harmful it can be to assume you know someone’s gender identity, whether they’re feminine or masculine, and that this has nothing to do with a person’s sexuality. This video I made in the context of BJYX/LSFY/ZSWW and Yizhan.

I opened a Patreon account since some people wanted to know how to support me. I have been jobless since our visual effects studio closed down in May and I’m starting up a new job again next week (finally!) but if you want to contribute for the work I’m doing this would be the way.

Be Kind.

I’ve rambled on for quite a bit now so let me end it here. Let me just say please be kind. Be kind to each other. Be kind to those who disagree with you. When you’re tempted to lash out, consider the other person’s point of view first.

Remember that what started this was love. Not hate. Don’t give in to the temptation to participate in fanwars. Remember the love.

Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk.

~Obsidian Aurora~

[420pogpills]

I’m the anon that was talking about the Twitter thing. I’m sorry if this is worded badly but I’m really tired so I just hope it makes a bit of sense

I’d like to start by saying that being part of gen z is so fucking stressful. There is this constant pressure to know what’s going on and to have the right opinions. I remember being too scared to ask my friend what being Demi meant because I thought I was supposed to know just because I’m gay (which its just stupid to have this expectation). I had a panic attack the night when dreams political history was put out because I fell down the rabbit hole of really biased critical blogs and I disagreed with what they were saying, I felt like I was personally being yelled at for being “wrong.” Having the expectation that young kids have the answers to anything is just wrong. It’s stressful and anxiety inducing. Saying that gen z is the generation of change is a lot of pressure to put on kids who can’t even drive. We have to move forward together, as people of different ages and generations to better the world and make positive change.

no worries at all, you’ve worded yourself wonderfully :) my answer got quite lengthy so i’m putting it under here

first of all i am so sorry to hear about how insecure and fearful you’ve been feeling about expressing yourself. please don’t ever be afraid to ask your friends things, because if they are your real friends then they will never judge you. sometimes you can feel so left behind, but those who love you will be more than happy to help you! and on tumblr you can talk to some amazingly nice people, even strangers, who can help as well! 

there are a lot of people who believe there’s only a right and a wrong opinion, but it doesn’t work that way. the point of an opinion is to express your thoughts, and they may not always be in live with the majority, and sometimes they may not be in line with the minority either. sometimes people take things unnecessarily personally, and can tell you that you are wrong just because your beliefs and opinions don’t coincide with their personal beliefs and opinions. does that make you wrong? absolutely not. you just have a different opinion. of course it’s all situational, and certain topics are more sensitive than others but the important thing to know is that everything can be discussed :) 

it must be very stressful, because for example, what i see on twitter can be very extreme. of course it’s important to know what’s going on in the world, it’s important to be aware of your moral compass to make sure you’re making the best decisions that you can make and you’re not hurting anybody. but you can’t be caught up with everything. you can’t be an activist for every single issue, while also living your life, going through school, figuring out what you want to do. 

i admire young people’s desire to make the world a better place. but young people need to learn to pace themselves. you won’t change the world in a day, no matter how aggressive of a stance you take. so tweeting about ‘i won’t forgive you guys for not talking about this’ ‘i can’t believe no one cares about this’ ‘unfollow me if you’re not gonna reblog this’ ‘don’t live tweet this because of x y z going on atm’ - that’s like telling yourselves that you shouldn’t be enjoying yourself right now and you shouldn’t be caring about good things, because sad and horrible things are happening. making people feel guilty for not being caught up with these things, making it sound like someone is an awful person for not retweeting this link or another link - that’s not how you bring forward positive change. 

of course we need to care, and the thing is - we do care! but there’s nothing wrong with getting on twitter and talking about a stream you enjoyed, talking about a tv show you’re excited for, sharing pictures of your favourite band - even when things are happening. because you can’t stop caring about yourself and your happiness and your mental health because bad things are happening. that’s the thing i dislike about twitter - people acting like tweeting and retweeting is the lifeline of change in the world, like that’s what it’s going to take. but the truth is, the real change happens outside. 

do your part, be a better person, sign the petitions and donate where you can if you can, correct your friends if they say something problematic, support the people who’s voices are being overshadowed - that’s what will make a difference. stopping yourself from enjoying yourself online on your twitter profile because people will make you feel like you’re not contributing anything good to the world is not going to help anyone. you should never have to feel shame for wanting to enjoy yourself. 

you are so young. you have so much time to catch up, to learn, to figure things out! the world will change with you. don’t put so much pressure on yourself. you can care about racism, sexism, islamophobia, xenophobia, homophobia - while also caring for yourself. caring about those things shouldn’t go hand in hand with stress and panic and the feeling like you can’t enjoy yourself or ask questions. you’re allowed to be a kid :) 

[sumukhcomedy]

How To Cancel “Cancel Culture”

In his speech at Mount Rushmore, President Donald Trump attacked “cancel culture.” It had been one thing to see this phrase constantly brought up on social media but now we were seeing the leader of the free world bring it up on the anniversary of the country’s independence. I have no idea where the term “cancel culture” came from and it doesn’t even matter anymore anyway as it has become yet another term that has been molded into its own strange definition by whomever may use it. In a general sense, “cancel culture” appears to now be pared down to the erasing of something because it’s offended someone.

The problem to “cancel culture” is that it’s become a broad term to represent many complicated, in-depth concepts. I’m going to put what’s been labeled as “cancel culture” into 3 separate groups (there probably could be more but, for the sake of this essay, I’ll keep it to 3).

1. Legitimately disturbing or criminal acts that were done by individuals

2. Correcting a wrongful history for the betterment of society and our nation

3. Revisionism in an effort to address uncomfortable topics

The first, “Legitimately disturbing or criminal acts that were done by individuals” is seen most prominently in entertainment and politics. As a comedian, I’m going to look at the most recent claims against Chris D’Elia and then subsequent backlash towards the “boys club” mentality that exists in stand-up comedy that led old videos of Joe Rogan, Joey Diaz, Theo Von, Brendan Schaub, and others to surface on Twitter. Diaz is a good example of where “cancel culture” goes wrong but it’s where it’s also not well-defined. Almost immediately after the disturbing commentary of Diaz drew widespread attention on Twitter, numerous women in comedy defended him and discussed how he helped them. Diaz has always had a unique and honest sense of humor. He addressed on his podcast that he’s talked about the mistakes he’s made in the past and getting better. It is the crux of his act and his brand of humor. But, on his podcast, he then goes off into talking about “cancel culture.” These situations are always framed under the notion that it’s an attempt to get the comedian “cancelled.” The reality is that all it’s doing is to open up a more intelligent discussion on why this behavior is occurring, holding responsibility for it, and ensuring that a culture that has long existed within stand-up comedy and treats women as less doesn’t continue. In D’Elia’s case, the accusations against him were criminal. They didn’t come out of nowhere. They came from one woman opening herself up on the Internet and then other women connecting with that and revealing that they had also been victimized by this man. This is not some sort of conspiracy to end D’Elia’s career. It’s women opening up that a high-profile man is a predator and ensuring that he does not continue this behavior and hurt others with his position. For D’Elia, he needs to address it and hold responsibility for it and, for now, he only appears to be showing the usual behavior from high-profile men which is to deny the accusations without any further discussion. From this point, there isn’t really a “cancellation” that is even happening. Look at Louis C.K. The story came out and still C.K. has a career and there are people that wish to watch him and do business with him. His career didn’t end up being over even though his apology was terrible and he hasn’t particularly shown any sense of remorse or compassion. Sure, he doesn’t have a TV show or movies anymore. But he also isn’t a destitute hermit. He’s still existent and earning money in this capitalist, patriarchal structure of entertainment.

The second, “Correcting a wrongful history for the betterment of society and our nation,” is seen currently with the removal of statues, which was the major reason behind Trump bringing up “cancel culture.” This is about properly addressing the negative and detrimental history of our country. A statue is a form of honor. This is why if anyone receives a statue, they express a great deal of gratitude for it. No one really learns anything from a statue because, unless all the history you want to learn is on a small plaque in front of the statue, there is not much to be gained from something placed in a public place as opposed to a museum or a book in a library. The statue is there for one reason: to glorify the individual and what they represent in history. What does the Confederacy represent in history? A group defeated in the Civil War and whose flag now stands as a piece of racism more than anything else. What does Christopher Columbus represent in history? More of a violent raider than a peaceful explorer. This is a history that you wish to glorify with a statue? This is a history that you want to have where you live? There is no need for this type of history and glorification in public places. That’s like saying you’d rather have a statue of Donald Sterling outside of Staples Center in L.A. rather than Magic Johnson. And this history isn’t going to go away. Pick up a book, watch a documentary, and really learn about it. That’s more history and nuance than any statue can provide, and it can do it without turning villains into heroes.

The third, “Revisionism in an effort to address uncomfortable topics” is where the people angry at “cancel culture” get their most energy from. It’s again most seen in Hollywood because Hollywood, for as liberal as it may seem, is still as backwards and uncomfortable with race and history as conservative America can be. This is best seen as of late with production companies and streaming services beginning to remove episodes of shows because they may touch on race in an uncomfortable way. A good example was Hulu’s decision to remove an episode of The Golden Girls, “Mixed Blessings,” in which Blanche and Rose appear in “blackface.” The episode occurred in 1988. Even though they are wearing mud masks and not specifically blackface, is it uncomfortable to see that as a source of humor in 2020? Definitely. But, the point of the episode is about Dorothy’s son entering into an interracial marriage. It’s about Dorothy coming to grips with that and the age difference between the two of them as well. Hollywood doesn’t seem to be capable of telling the difference between a piece of art that comments on our society’s racism as opposed to a piece of art that is flat out racist. Nor does it seem to factor when the art was created. Sure, I don’t like that The Golden Girls writers and producers made such a decision in 1988. But it was 1988. The episode still addressed important issues in 1988 and did so with the best intent. This is highly different than, for example, D.W. Griffith’s The Birth of a Nation, which was as racist in 1915 as it is today or Leni Riefenstahl’s Triumph of the Will in 1935. You may laud them for what they did for film but you must teach that they were racist propaganda. They were not well-meaning films at all and they, in fact, contributed to a deadly history. There is no purpose to banning this art. But it’s important to provide better education, better understanding of intent, and better knowledge of history when it comes to viewing this art. Blackface is terrible and has no place in 2020, but in order for it to have no place, people have to understand its history, the manner in which it was used, and the reasons why it is bad. The reality is that few people of color are asking for this third type of “cancel culture.” It’s more so coming from well-meaning white people who do not know how to properly handle race.

“Cancel culture” has become a simple term tossed out by individuals who simply do not want to address their own behavior, responsibility, or history. They would rather say to themselves that they are right than to challenge themselves that they could be wrong, that our society could be better, and that they could progress. All of these situations of “cancel culture” get labeled by the opposition as being “You’re too sensitive!” as opposed to “Let’s have an intellectual discussion to make this better.” It continues to be passed off as some sort of offense or political correctness issue when it’s just an effort to address one’s potential role in a bigger issue in society (whether that’s racism, misogyny, sexual assault, etc.)

“Cancel culture” is just an easy phrase. It’s an easy card to play to avoid dealing with one’s own behavior, speech, history, and art. Strangely enough, it’s a term that’s dismissive when it’s defending itself out of a fear of being dismissed.

[meaningofmotorsport]

London ePrix Race 1 Review

For once, the championship leader did not change at the end of this race, yet it gave us some new contenders for the title, as if we didn’t have enough already!

BMW’s up and down year continues, as Dennis took his 2nd win of the year, using strategy to get through on Lynn, before then pulling away from him, despite having less power, and managing the race from there! Apart from getting pole, it was a pretty perfect day for him, taking a win on home soil, and firing himself right up into 2nd in the championship! I expect tomorrow will be much tougher for him, being in Group 1, but he should be in contention still as we head to Berlin, and anything could happen there, especially as that car is so quick! Guenther was not so fortunate, after making a mistake in qualifying, he had to fight back from last on the grid, and couldn’t get any points! He had pace though, so watch out for him tomorrow!

I was very wrong about how Mercedes would go this weekend, as even though De Vries only started 9th, he calved through the field, to finish behind Dennis, and was one of the fastest cars on track! Their energy efficiency has been a big aid to them this year, and was a major contributing factor here today! If Vandoorne had completed more of FP2, he could have been nearer to his teammate, however it wasn’t to be, although he did still get a couple of points! With Stoffel not being in Group 1, watch out for him tomorrow too!

After starting on pole, 3rd may be disappointing for Mahindra and Lynn, but they were just beaten by better teams in all honesty. They know that 1 lap pace is their strength, and it showed, as Alex’s rear tyres were done before the end of the race! They should still be happy with how it went! Lotterer topped the group stages of qualifying, but was unable to replicate it when it mattered! Then in the race he was set to finish where he started, until drama for Nissan moved him up to 4th, and some more good points for a struggling Porsche team!

Audi always comes on strong in the races, as we saw once again today, with Rast in particular gaining 8 places. He was able to also get the fastest lap of the race, which suggests that their strength is car balance, rather than energy saving! Di Grassi was weirdly given a warning for a fairly minor incident, which he actually lost out in, so I don’t see the FIA’s logic there, which isn’t exactly surprising!

Both Techeetah’s moved up through the field brilliantly, with Vergne being the biggest mover, clearly demonstrating the speed they have! Their decision to take attack mode early on, looks as though it really paid off! The 4 points Da Costa gained may prove crucial, as he aims to defend his title hopes! It was a similar story for Virgin, yet as they started behind DS Techeetah, they couldn’t quite reach the points!

Mortara and Wehrlein finished off the top 10, after Eduardo was the fastest qualifier of Group 1, but he couldn’t stay ahead for Antonio in the race! His teammate Nato had a busy race, as he received a 5 second penalty, before then retiring on the final lap as he ran out of energy!

It was worse though for Jaguar, as both drivers were caught up it what seemingly was the same Lap 1 incident, as the field got through the tight first sector. It wasn’t really their fault, so is a shame for the team, and they didn’t change Groups for qualifying tomorrow, so there was no gain from it at all! The only solace is that no one got passed Bird in the championship, so he still leads it! Evans was able to finish the race, so the team can learn from how he went, and improve for tomorrow!

Jaguar didn’t have it the worst though of all the teams, that honour goes to Nissan, who finished with both cars in the points on track, until they were disqualified for using more than the allotted amount of energy for the race! This is a monumental error by the team, and one they should not be making in Season 7! It was looking to be a promising result for them, with energy saving being less important, so this will be really gutting for them!

We are going to do it all again tomorrow, where I am sure the result will be very different, especially if the rain sticks around, as that could create chaos into the hairpin corners! Nevertheless, the indoor-outdoor track has been a success in my opinion so far, and helped to spice up the action!

-M

Thank you very much for reading this article! To keep up to date with when they go out, and to see my reactions to races and other news, follow me on Twitter at: https://twitter.com/MeaningofMotor1

Also, if you want to support me, I have a Patreon Page at: https://www.patreon.com/meaningofmotorsport

[encounterthepast]

If you enjoy this please follow @RussInCheshire on twitter for his regular threads on UK politics.

As it’s the weekend, let’s start #TheWeekInTory with a frivolous and jolly story about our own govt deliberately starving hundreds of thousands of children...

1. In May, Boris Johnson promised “nobody will go hungry as a result of Coronavirus”

2. He then denied school meals to the 600,000 poorest children

3. So Marcus Rashford ran a campaign to get the govt to feed children, which - just think about that: he had to *campaign* for it

4. Then Boris Johnson congratulated Rashford on his campaign to overturn the cruel policies of, erm, Boris Johnson

5. And then 3 days later, Boris Johnson refused to feed those kids during school holidays

6. So this week Labour organised a parliamentary vote about it

7. And 322 Tories voted against feeding hungry children

8. Vicky Ford, the Children’s Minister (who you’ll be surprised to hear neither looks nor sounds like a ludicrous Dickensian villain) went ahead and voted against feeding children

9. Tory MP Jo Gideon voted against feeding children. Jo Gideon, in case you didn't think things could get any more unbelievable, is also the chair of "Feeding Britain", a charity that campaigns to end food poverty and hunger in the UK.

10. Tory MP Paul Scully waved away the grumbling parents of kids with grumbling tummies, and said “children have been going hungry under Labour for years”, seemingly forgetting Tories have been in power for a decade

11. Tory MP Ben Bradley, who once had to apologise for suggesting sterilising the poor, said feeding children will simply “increase their dependency”. On food. Yeah, wean the little bastards off it. It’ll do them good in the end, which will be around 3 agonising weeks.

12. At this point, pause to consider that MPs get their food and drink subsidised. A £31 meal in a parliamentary restaurant costs MPs £3.45. In 2018 this subsidy cost the taxpayer £4.4m. I can’t find any record of Tories like Ben Bradley voting against this.

13. Pressing on: Ben Bradley also said “Some parents prioritise other things ahead of their kids. Small minority, yes... but some do”. Yes, and a small minority of Tory MPs have been arrested for rape. Should we send them all to prison?

14. Also, Mark Francois voted (by proxy) to keep kids hungry. Not related to the previous item. Why would you think that?

15. Tory MP Nicky Morgan said the govt voted to starve 600,000 children cos a Labour MP called a Tory MP scum. And that’s not a scummy thing to do at all.

16. Tory MP David Simmonds said Marcus Rashford’s experience of poverty in secondary school “took place entirely under a Labour government”. Rashford was 11 when Tories came into power, making David Simmonds are rare example of an ad hominem attack on yourself

17. Simmonds then said Labour’s parliamentary vote was “all about currying favour with wealth and power and celebrity status”. He might be right – the govt managed to unify Gary Linaker and Nigel Farage in condemnation of their denial of food to kids

18. Brandan Clark-Smith (who voted to starve kids) demanded “more action to tackle the real causes of child poverty”

19. So at once, the govt cut minimum wage for furloughed people. They now get 2/3 of the money the govt says is the absolute minimum it is possible to survive on

20. And then it was revealed that low-paid workers who have to isolate due to Covid can claim £500. Yay!

21. But if they’re told to isolate by the govt’s contact tracing app, they can’t claim anything. Un-yay.

22. Long story short: the govt cannot spend £120m feeding children. But it can spend £522 on the Eat Out Scheme, which its own report said contributed “negligible amounts” to the hospitality economy, and Boris Johnson admitted drove up infection rates – especially in the North

23. Those infection rates caused the govt to move Manchester into Tier 3

24. So the Mayor of Manchester asked for a £90m support package (1/6th of the money the govt spent causing the problem in the first place)

25. The govt said no, £60m

26. The Mayor said, how about £65m?

27. The govt said no, £60m

28. The Mayor said ok, fine, we’ll take the £60m

29. And then govt offered Manchester £22m, and then went to the press and said the Mayor was "being unreasonable"

30. The negotiations were led by Robert Jenrick, who recently set up a fund for the poorest 101 towns, then awarded his town £25m even though it is the 270th poorest, and therefore not even eligible

31. £25m is £237 per person

32. Manchester gets £7.85 per person

33. Robert Jenrick gave Manchester (2.8 million people) £22m

34. Robert Jenrick gave Richard Desmond (1 person) £45m

35. The talks broke down when the govt wouldn’t spend an extra £5m

36. The govt plans to spend £7m vitally rebranding "Highways England" to "National Highways"

37. Manchester Young Conservatives tweeted “Boris has lied about helping us in the North. It’s time for him to go". Don't look - they deleted it. Suspect somebody had a word.

38. Meanwhile the govt said Manchester will get the £60m after all, and chaos continue to reign supreme

39. But that £60m is brief reprieve for the Tories of Manchester, as a govt report said Tory seats in the North of England (the so-called "Red Wall" seats) can expect to lose at least 4000 jobs *each* as a result of Brexit, even if we do get a deal. More if we don't.

40. The govt rushed to begin its first airport Coronavirus testing, a mere 211 days after mandatory airport testing was begun in South Korea

41. South Korea has had 8 deaths per million

42. The UK has had 665 deaths per million

43. More airport news, as the govt finally accepted Brexit will cause “up to 8-hour delays at passport checks” and asked the EU to allow UK citizens to queue at EU-only lanes. Like we did when we were in the EU. But we aren’t now. So tough.

44. A senior diplomat said, “Having grown up in Brussels, Boris Johnson values the ability to travel freely to the continent”. You’d think Boris Johnson would foresee this problem when he led the campaign to stop that freedom.

45. The independent reviewer of Terrorism Legislation said the UK “will be increasingly unable to cope” after Brexit, as we lose access to EU data-sharing agreements

46. And a No-Deal end to UK/EU scientific collaboration will leave London with a £3bn annual deficit

47. In the space of 38 days, the govt announced the £100bn "Operation Moonshot" to solve Covid; then cancelled it; and then re-launched it again after it was found they’d accidentally continued to pay over 200 private consultants up to £7000 a day to work on it.

48. So this week, Boris Johnson said Moonshot would continue, but it’s goals “would take time”, which is the literal opposite of what he said it would do when it first announced it, and makes the entire thing absolutely pointless

49. And now it’s been admitted that Operation Moonshot would be quietly folded into the existing £12bn Test and Trace programme, and the £100bn has vanished. Apart from the bits the Serco consultants took for doing… nothing.

50. But Boris Johnson said the Test and Trace programme was “helping a bit”, and “a bit” is the least you’d expect if you’d spent £12bn

51. And then the £12bn Test and Trace programme fell to its lowest success rate so far, identifying only 60% of at-risk people

52. Local councils, with no additional funding, are tracing 98% of cases

53. A quick sweep though other epic successes you may have missed (or deliberately blocked out): Equalities minister Kemi Badenoch declared that it should be illegal to teach about inequality

54. The Cabinet Secretary said the report into “vicious and orchestrated” bullying by Home Secretary and Dementor Priti Patel “may never see the light of day”, cos if you have a report that vindicates you, you definitely sit on it as long as possible

55. And the appeals court unanimously overturned Priti Patel’s policy of removing people from the UK without giving them access to legal process or justice because – and I’m paraphrasing the judges here – what the fuck, Patel? What the actual fuck?

56. Undeterred, she announced plans to make rough-sleeping “grounds for removal of permission to be in the UK” and "denial of legal aid". So if you’re too poor to have a home, you must pay for a lawyer or she’ll shove you in the sea

57. After an unnamed Tory MP said it “looks bad to be handing top jobs to your friend and old boss”, Charles Moore, Boris Johnson’s friend and old boss, withdrew as next BBC chair.

58. The new favourite is Richard Sharp, the - yep - friend and old boss of Rishi Sunak

59. You’ll be amazed to hear this: Richard Sharp is a major donor to the Tory party. These little coincidences keep on happening

60. The govt decided to prevent EU citizens from having physical proof of their right to live in their own home

61. Grant Shapps threatened to “seize control of Transport for London” to save it from financial ruin at the hands of Sadiq Khan, who – the bastard - achieved a mere 71% reduction in the debts caused by his noble predecessor, Boris Johnson

62. Matt Hancock, facts at his fingertips, told MPs from Yorkshire their constituents could go on holiday abroad

63. But not in the UK

64. And then that they CAN go on holiday in the UK

65. But can't leave Yorkshire

66. He then said “I'll get back to you” about the details

67. A cross-party report found “the UK’s foreign policy is adrift”, that it lacks “clarity, confidence and vision” and that Britain is “absent from the world stage”. All of which is very soothing, as we move into the govt's proclaimed goal of a post-Brexit Global Britain.

68. And we can all relax: the govt is finally supporting culture in the UK, specifically the Nevill Holt Opera, which performs private operas, and is owned by Boris Johnson’s friend (and - jaw on floor! - Tory donor) David Ross, who is worth £700m so really needs the money.

69. The Nevill Holt Opera only functions in the summer, so thank god it has been prioritised with £85,000 to “maintain operations” in October.

And now, in honour of the opera, the fat lady can sing, cos I’m off to drink myself into oblivion. Join me.

We live in interesting times.

[camgirlsurvivalguide]

Success, Self-Esteem and Stigma - the crucial component of privilege in the webcam world

There are a couple controversial debates that swirl around cam twitter every few months, sort of on some bizarre rotating schedule - a fire will light up about one of them, a shitstorm will rage for a couple weeks, then once the dust settles, another will pop up again as if the first never happened. I think that while some issues can be sorted and then laid to rest, there are a few key topics with respect to webcamming that are so complex that they’re almost impossible to adequately dissect - particularly over twitter, where the majority of the debating happens - so instead of solving anything through discussion, we tend to fight, then bully, then simply quiet down when it appears that a stalemate has been reached. These two debates have to do with luck, and the extent to which the sex worker label applies to cam models. While these two topics may seem quite different, I think they’re undeniably linked - and I think exploring the connection between the two can provide insight, and hopefully help us reach some comfortable conclusions. 

Before I get into anything, I want to fully acknowledge that bullying is not an acceptable form of education. People are allowed to disagree with you, regardless of how important it is that they see from your point of view. Fighting for solidarity by means of bullying just sets the example that any dissonance from the status quo will be met with aggression - and that’s not how we grow as a community. When we take the time to listen to opposing opinions, however radical or counter-productive they may seem, we can do our best to understand them, and I personally feel that understanding the “other side” is the best way to fix issues under our own roof, so to speak. If the conversation about sex work terminology relating to web-camming that I saw go on over twitter happened in a classroom, half of the people fighting for solidarity probably would have been asked to leave. While I wholeheartedly support and encourage solidarity across all sex workers for a multitude of good reason, I think the tendency toward bullying over social media is abhorrent and should have no place in our community. When discussing sensitive topics, think before you type. If what you want to say is not contributing anything new to the discussion, or stands simply to attack someone for their perspective, keep your words to yourself.

The first thing I’m going to talk about is the concept of “luck” with respect to webcam success. How far can cam success be boiled down to lottery style chance? If we say that webcam success is mostly luck, we’re undermining the genuine struggle of the individuals that work to achieve and maintain their profits - but when we say it’s all hard work and effort, we’re erasing the very real challenges that many face while trying to make enough money off of camming to survive. Is it half luck, half effort? What counts? How much of my own success (or failure) can I attribute to my internal processes, or to external, freak chance? Defining terminology means giving ourselves the chance to more objectively measure what it is we’re attempting to measure - so how do we define luck? 

Luck is the perception of a positive event happening by improbable chance. This definition presents a number of challenges with respect to measurement, namely it’s fundamental subjectivity. What feels lucky to me is based off of my perception of my own norms, and how my norms match up to what I perceive to be possible on the site over all. If I usually make a few thousand tokens a night, for example, I may consider a 1000 token tip ‘lucky’, and tips below that normal - but if I’m used to making tens of thousands of tokens a night, a 1000 token tip may be standard fair. While there may be some variability in what constitutes as “luck” depending on where you land on the success scale, there is definitely a certain degree of success - say, ranking in the top 20 - that the vast majority of us would consider quite fortunate.

Determining whether one’s top rank comes as the result of luck also heavily involves something known as the self-serving bias. Our self-esteem is a delicate sort of thing, and we’re naturally motivated to do what we can to protect it. Let’s say you receive a 10,000 token tip. It would be normal to attribute this success to your own hard work and dedication, because it would allow you to increase your self-esteem and further drive yourself toward success - perhaps you’d consider the hours you’ve spent online, or maybe even the years you’ve put toward camming or your physical appearance, or your ability to entertain. Attributing your own success to hard work makes your hard work feel “worth it”. Now let’s consider you witness someone else receiving a 10,000 token tip. It would also be normal to attribute their success to luck, rather than to their own hard work, because this protects your self esteem from asking “why not me?”, and blaming your perceived shortcomings in relation to their success. Shrugging off their achievements by thinking, “damn, they’re lucky” means you (hopefully) spare yourself the pain of having to compare yourselves.

I think it’s important to note that mental illness can influence the direction in which our self-serving bias points. A mentally healthy individual will be likely to attribute their successes to hard work, and their lack of success to bad luck. A depressed individual, however, is more likely to attribute their successes to luck and their lack of success to perceived personal shortcomings - a cycle that damages self-esteem.

So, as you can see, luck with respect to cam success is almost impossible to define. Outside of recognizing privilege, “luck” boils down to individual perceptions of success and how our self-serving biases stand to protect or damage our own self-esteem.  

I think awareness of this protective process should begin to shed light on how truly important it is to each of us as individuals to protect ourselves. Self-esteem is not as simple as pride over a good hair day or thinking that we’re generally good people - it sits at the centre of our psyche and has immense power over how we act internally, as individuals, and how we engage socially with our community and the world around us. Experiencing threat to our self-esteem is terrifying; think of applying for an important job, or confessing our feelings to someone we want to date. This uncertainty in a situation of judgement is incredibly uncomfortable, and sometimes the fear of an undesirable outcome prevents us from even trying for what we want in the first place! We can all relate to this on some level. When our own efforts to protect our self esteem in the face of threat are inadequate, the second best strategy is finding others to assist us.

This is a fundamental aspect of group solidarity. To ease the struggle of constantly protecting our self-esteem, we band together with people we perceive to be similar to us that agree with our self-serving biases (that we’re good, that our efforts are valid, that we’re hard working vs. simply ‘lucky’). When a group is heavily stigmatized, I think the presence of group solidarity is even more crucial - if the majority of the world continually tells you that you’re bad for being you or doing what you do, the relief of finding a group that serves to protect that damaged self esteem can be immense.

But finding people to trust with protecting your self-esteem can also be risky. Depending on who you are as an individual and what your level of success is within the community itself, maybe finding similar others is difficult or dangerous - maybe there’s a risk of being used for your money or influence. Maybe you’ve been burned by friends before and are less willing to look to others for help as a result. Whatever the contributing factors are, there are undoubtedly people out there that have chosen to go it alone, with respect to protecting their self-esteem from stigma - which brings me to the third, perhaps more currently salient option by which to protect yourself with: denying that the stigma exists for you at all.

Sex work is stigmatized. Despite it’s pervasiveness across time and culture, it is commonly looked down upon socially, demonized and often made illegal, which presents very real, very dangerous threats not only to self-esteem, but to autonomy and safety. Still, there are many of us who choose to engage in sex work, for a number of very good reason - but the stigma against it can be so damaging to us that many of us do what we can to conceal what we do, or if we are out about our chosen form of occupation, we surround ourselves with as many like-minded individuals as possible, and grapple with the backlash as best we can. 

By definition, sex worker is the label given to a person working in the sex industry. Wikipedia includes webcam performers right there in the description; a sex worker is any individual who engages in sex acts, whether directly or indirectly, for profit - acts which include full service sex workers who work physically, in person, with clients, and acts which include a degree of separation - modelling, acting, erotic photography, phone sex operating, and yes - webcamming.

So why the confusion? The debate on twitter as to whether cam models “count” is exactly the same as arguing whether a sculptor should be considered an “artist”, rather than just specifically a sculptor - except that since making art isn’t stigmatized to the degree that sex work is, there’s no real reason why someone would absolutely refuse to be considered the umbrella term “artist” rather than their specific chosen field under that realm.

From my perspective, there is no confusion. Refusing to accept one’s belonging to a stigmatized category is not for lack of understanding - it’s exactly in response to a deep understanding, and subsequent fear of harm to self-esteem. Some individuals look at the dangers associated with the most highly stigmatized forms of sex work - namely full service sex work - and simply cannot stand the thought of being demonized to that extent. They will likely highlight the differences between their jobs, and use those differences to stand as justification for their lack of inclusion under the umbrella. Whether or not this rejection is taken seriously by members outside the stigmatized community (which is the important part here - they’re not trying to be cohesive with the in-group, they’re trying to fit in with the out-group) - boils down to their own individual privileges.

This is the link between luck and rejection of the term “sex worker” - privilege. Social inequality exists in the cam world just as it does in the real world. Finding luck and getting away with calling yourself an “exotic dancer” or a “live stream entertainer” is harder for certain groups, namely racial minorities, those with disabilities, and the poor. Those in positions of privilege are at a better advantage for creating scenarios in which to access luck and opportunity, and are more likely to be exempt from sex worker stigma outside the sex worker community. 

We’ve got to stop acting like this is a personal attack from either end of the argument. Social inequality is bigger than our individual actions and struggles. Recognizing privilege does not undermine any one individual’s story or struggle, just as having privilege doesn’t guarantee luck or success. Being privileged doesn’t mean we get handed everything in life just because we fit within certain social constructs - it means that we start from an end of the playing field that makes reaching certain heights closer or easier to us than to than those who start from a different position. I say ‘us’ in reference to my own set of privileges; I am a young, white, thin and middle class cis-woman. I did not choose any of these attributes, but cannot and will not deny that these attributes present me with advantages over individuals who fall outside of these privileged categories.

Imagine if two individuals have to run around a track, but one of us has two legs, and the other only has one. While both may make it around the track, it’s highly more likely that the one with two legs will finish faster than their one-legged opponent. It’s not the two legged individual’s fault that this was the case, but to make it around the track and claim that it was equally as tough for both of you just because it was the same course would be absurd. This is what it looks like when we fail to recognize privilege. 

A young, white, conventionally attractive, wealthy and non-disabled cis-woman is also more likely to be able to “escape” some degree of social stigmatization when it comes to saying “cam model” versus “sex worker” - but not all. I recognize this when I refer to myself as a sex worker around my friends and family. Often, they will attempt to correct me - “cam model”, they say, “not sex worker” - but it’s in an attempt to protect me, even in closed quarters - not to educate me of something I already know. The reality is that this will not extend very far. When I was fired from my vanilla job after my boss found out about my webcam work, it absolutely would not have mattered to them, were I to attempt to argue that I was a “cam model”, not a “sex worker”. Regardless of privilege or labeling choice, there will come a point where stigma can stand to threaten more than self-esteem.

I argue that the only way we will end stigmatization of sex work and the label sex worker is by fighting against it - but I recognize that this is a fight that has been ongoing for centuries, and one that is unlikely to end any time soon. Combining this reality with the importance of protecting one’s self-esteem and protecting one’s actual social and physical self means I understand when I see an individual attempting to distance themselves from danger of harm. While I wish that every individual who engages in sex work would fight the fight, I know not everyone is an activist, and that working a job doesn’t mean you automatically have to care about any of this. I know that in many other areas where groups have faced brutality and stigmatization, the liberties awarded were fought by the under-privileged and heavily oppressed, often at costs far more than any of them could or should afford to pay. While the privileged find ways to protect themselves, those who cannot often fight their fight for them - a system that I find unfair and deeply sad, but a system I recognize as real, and likely ongoing.

Calling myself a sex worker is a small step in the right direction that I think many of us - especially those of us with privilege - should and can do to assist in the effort toward acceptance. Correcting my friends and family when they try to separate me from stigma means, hopefully, that my friends and family will correct others if they hear sex workers being discriminated against, and hopefully, the ripple effect will yield good things down the road.

A lot of the thoughts I’ve shared today are rooted in some amazing insights by Allan G. Johnson in his book ‘Privilege, Power and Difference’ - it’s available on Amazon and I encourage anyone interested in these topics (generally, not with respect to sex or cam work) pick it up. It’s an easy read about incredibly complex concepts, and it helped me gain really valuable insight about the world around me and my place within it. 

[atelophobicity]

Top 10 Things You Shouldn’t Do If You Want to Finish Your Thesis On Time

It’s my entry for September! I’ve been busy in consuming new music, films, and kvariety episodes in my effort to catch up on everything. So, I decided to post monthly to fulfill my oversharing Tumblr needs and to exercise my skills in writing in English and putting thoughts into coherent words.

TL;DR of this: things I’ve done instead of doing my thesis for the past year and a half. I’m not romanticizing my not doing thesis self for the past 21 months, but I’m also not dissuading you from doing other stuff besides thesis because god knows, you will need something.

1. Got a part-time job. This was the first new thing I’ve done that really took my time and effectively gave me no time to do thesis. And yet, this was the most rewarding thing as I learned how to get my TIN, accomplish my deliverables, answer to my superiors etc. Looking back, I wasn’t the best employee and I deserved no job offers on the same company after. But still, it was a stepping stone in the right direction. Adulting-wise, anyway.

2.  Discover the art of creating.

Journal spreads. I bought a 2019 planner and I couldn’t fill it up, so I decided to turn it into a journal-planner. The art materials I used for to design pages are from old supplies bought back when I was in high school or stickers from the fandom-related events I attended. I didn’t spend money and I was given a chance to be creative.

Sew doll clothes. In K-pop, dolls that look like your idol exists. It usually comes with one set of clothes to dress it. As a “doll mother”, I wanted to dress them with new clothes but buying clothes was expensive. So, I just sewed clothes for them. I made clothes from scrap fabrics or clothes no one wears in our household. I’ve been barely successful, but it’s one of the things that keep me happy and make me feel like I’ve succeeded in one measly part of my life.

3. Purged my online files.

From my high school files. Nostalgia has been one of my coping mechanisms. I was able to be provided by lots of it when I discovered that I didn’t lose my high school files and it was on my mom’s laptop all along. Being able to relive memories while organizing my files was the best hours of that day.

To my external hard drives. Since 2016, I have been a hoarder of online files for so long that I have two EHDs to prove it. This time though, I was able to delete content that was either repetitive or uninteresting anymore. I was able to shave off some of my data bytes and am now able to save new interesting content available online (if I ever find one).

4. Realigned my priorities and consumption of K-pop as a stan and as a person by:

Selling 3/4 of my merch. Unlearning the pride that comes with owning K-pop merch was difficult, but overtime, I have been proud of myself for not falling to the traps of capitalism—at least in K-pop. Also! I was able to buy my own concert tickets with the stuff I sold so it is a win!

Joining giveaways instead. No matter how I can avoid the urge to buy K-pop merch, I still can’t help but want to own them. This is where I discovered how joining giveaways was my next best option. It takes a lot of effort and screenshots to win these things. However, if and when you win, it really feels like winning against the odds. You get free merch too!

Actually spent hours to vote and stream. In relation to the last point, since the main requirement in giveaways I’ve joined are voting/streaming proofs, I have been one of those people who collects points on voting apps or has a playlist of music videos that should be streamed. After collecting and/or streaming, I take screenshots, put watermarks there, and tags mutuals if needed. It’s relatively hard work but there’s a feeling of pride when your idol wins the poll or an MV reaches a certain amount of views and you know you participated in making that happen.

5. Rediscover Youtube. Channels like the vlogbrothers and their associates (Crash Course, Pemberley Digital among others), Buzzfeed’s shows (The Try Guys, Ladylike, Buzzfeed Unsolved) were a delight to watch after being out of the Youtube loop for so long. The platform also offered new niches of content and I allowed myself to be sucked in it. From Simply Nailogical to Ask A Mortician to amazing pop culture video essays like Lindsay Ellis and Jenny Nicholson, Youtube has all it for you! Learning something new every day is one of my favorite things and I get to do it with this website.

6. Rediscover my love of writing. (As if I’ve written anything for my thesis but here.)

Made drabbles. There is a weekly activity on my fandom where we write < 500 word drabbles on any pairings. I have been joining when I can, and through the support of the (small) community (back then), I gained confidence to write one. I’ve written at least four now and I’ve not done yet because I’ve been on a slump lately. But I’ll get back to it soon!

Short story. The same account that brought the drabble challenge created a festival where we write a pairing and write a short story with it. I decided to join the event! Not going to lie, my entry was shit, It was the first draft, it needed a lot of revisions and more constructive criticism and yet, I am still proud of it. It was the first creative fiction I wrote since 2019 and I did it in a day. And, I believe it has potential, so I’m going to review and revise the hell out of it someday.

7. Reclaim my college days.

Reconnected with orgmates. Visiting Elbi for registration and consultation purposes are brightened up by the fact that I get to do this. My first four years of college were not kind to me. I’ve forgotten a lot of things because of trauma and deep sadness that I still have until this day, and when I remember good things, they’re few and far in between. The numbered days I was in Elbi during 2019 were also few and far in between, but they were infinitely better than my academic years from 2015 to 2017. I was able to do the things I wasn’t able to do before (mostly attending Happy Ts and eating in newly-opened food places there) and I get to do it with people I love.

Made friends. One of the drawbacks of being a slot-driven student with no care of my coursemates’ schedules: I didn’t get to establish a friend group. So I didn’t get to make friends. During this time, I’ve accepted that I didn’t have any friends outside my organizations. But this time, instead of a feeling of dread of being that cliché orgmate, I feel relief and happiness because now, I realize that I do have friends from college, unlike the 2015-2017 who didn’t have anyone in college to rely on her darkest times.

8. Appreciated my friends more. For the past few years, I was the shitty friend. I agreed to go on hangouts only to message them that I’m backing out the last minute—sometimes I even straight up ghosted them. I really took my friends for granted. I have been slowly making it up to them by always attending when there’s an invite! I sometimes initiate the invite and it’s always a fun and healing time for me (it was a literal healing time for me as I was depressed during that time). I love them and I’m always thankful for them—and more so now than before.

 9. Unlearning things like:

Realizing that a priv (a private account meant to be seen by your mutuals you trust; usually contains unpopular opinions and hot takes on stan twitter) only encourages negative emotions and I must not do it again.

No matter how I tried rationalizing my hate for Jennie when the JenKai dating news happened, I was one of those K-pop stans who hated her because she dated my idol. (I have moved on past that and have started liking her and Rose.)

Knowing that attacking people for what they say won’t make them unlearn their wrong opinions. Not talking down at them and educating with patience is the key, always.

There are still so much more I unlearned and learned where those came from. My main takeaway is: it’s complicated.  Sometimes our opinion needs a more nuanced perspective and sometimes it needs to scrapped entirely because it was just wrong. But it is essential so we, as people, won’t be stuck with outdated views of the world.

10.   Learning something new like:

Practicing how to do Tzuyu’s helicopter hands until I realized it wasn’t meant for me.

Utilizing Omegle to look for potential quaranflings.

Installing Telegram and uninstalling to ghost quaranflings.

How to do laundry in compliance with my mother’s preferences.

Doing two things at once.

Enough patience to take time and read the laws our government makes every day to know what I’m fighting against.

Optimizing my Twitter lists and now I can keep up with current affairs (that takes a toll on my mental health) then scroll through a fic fest-centric list the next (that helps me forget the stress from reading news).

Learning something new every day has become one of my life goals. Knowing that the world always has something new to offer to me, a speck in this universe, warms me up and keeps me going. And you’ll never know where the new tidbits will lead you. Maybe it’ll help you reconnect with something you’ve known before, maybe it’ll change how you see things, or maybe it’s something new that once explored, it will contribute something new to the community. It may seem small and unimportant but with a tweak in perspective, it might be something worth doing and pursuing.

Looking back at my list, I can finally see how if I didn’t do all these things, I would have probably finished my thesis by now and probably working a full-time job, able to provide the financial needs for my family. There will always be regret that I am still not done until now. But stressing over my current predicament in this time when the world is in its most stressful state yet won’t help me. So, we soldier on and hopefully, hopefully get back to the thesis I’ve been meaning to do.

 Let’s get it.

[qqueenofhades]

So, it’s Friday evening, and it turns out I have more thoughts about things that happened this week. I almost never do Discourse on this blog, on whatever subject, but sometimes even your friendly local depressed historian gotta say things. If you’re not in the mood for a long-ass meta-y text post, just keep on scrolling, no hard feelings.

In the wake of the Notre Dame fire, which obviously a lot of us were upset about, and profoundly relieved that it did not end up being completely catastrophic, the usual spate of posts began to pop up, alleging that people only cared about Notre Dame because of the loss to Western/European/Christian history, that nobody had been this upset about the National Museum of Brazil or the outbreak of arson at three black churches in Louisiana in the same week, and so on. I don’t blame anyone for making those posts, because I know they cared about those issues and wanted to ensure that their importance was communicated, especially when something major like Notre Dame was getting all the airtime. However, I couldn’t help but notice how that followed the same pattern as all Woke Tumblr Discourse (tm). An event happens, people express reactions to it, and are then attacked or indirectly shamed for not expressing reactions to another event. Or there’s the usual cycle of “nobody will care about this because it’s not happening in America”-style posts, or passive-aggressive insinuations that “you don’t care if you don’t reblog this.” And -- I say this with the greatest kindness possible, because I know, I know you guys care -- it’s... not helpful.

The culture of Tumblr and other left-wing sections of social media often rests on enacting performative wokeness, on showing that you care about the most Progressive (tm) issues, or that you have thoroughly scrutinized your fandom tastes or political beliefs for anything Problematic and/or can prove yourself to an imagined moral standard (and there have been some great metas written on how this essentially replicates conservative evangelical purity culture, with the goalposts switched). This is why we keep having to circulate (and doubtless will have to do so with increasing frequency) those posts reminding the left not to eat its young and flame all prospective Democratic challengers to Trump in 2020 to a crisp before the right wing, which is only too happy to let us do the work of sabotaging ourselves, even gets a chance. This is also why you see the posts responding to said angry “nobody cares about this!” posts, in which people mention the fact that not visibly reacting to all the (vast and terrible) injustice in the world does not mean they don’t care. The world is a big place. So is the internet. I can guarantee you that people do care, and just because you didn’t see immediate evidence and response to it when you opened up your Tumblr dash is not proof of a collective nefarious conspiracy.

Take me, for example. I am a thirty-ish academic and historian who considers myself well-informed and literate in current events. I read national and international news every day to find out what’s going on (because I live in England, the answer is Brexit, and the status is Failed). And yet, there are plenty of things that I only hear about for the first time on Tumblr, often attached to one of those “nobody cares about this!” posts. And you know what? I do care. I care a lot. And I’m guessing that most other people do as well, because no matter how it may feel, the majority of individuals are fundamentally decent people with basic empathy for others, even if our whole system is a nightmare. But the urge to demand why nobody is Discoursing about this issue (again, among a vast and exhausting sea of them) needs to take a few fundamental things into account. 

First, the American media (as a large portion of readers are relying on) simply does not report this stuff. Look at what’s happening in that godforsaken country right now; does it really seem like the kind of place that’s eager to tell you about Brazilian museum fires or black-church arson? I’m someone who makes a conscious effort to read the news no matter how depressed it makes me, and I still miss tons of stuff, because it’s not there. The Western media reported on Notre Dame, people knew about it, and were upset. But when those of them who did not know about the National Museum of Brazil learned about it, they were also upset. We can definitively say now that the National Museum was a bigger and more irreplaceable tragedy in terms of what burned. But we were also apparently 15-30 minutes away from losing all of Notre Dame. You can be upset about both these things. You can express empathy for the history lost in both cases. There is not a greater moral value attached, and you’re not racist for caring about Notre Dame if you heard about it first (unless you’re only upset about Notre Dame for reasons related to race or perceived cultural superiority and are peddling vile conspiracy theories about Jews and Muslims intentionally burning it down, in which case you are a racist). Almost everyone who learned about the National Museum fire was just as horrified.

2019 is a hard and monstrously unfair and tremendously difficult place to live. The internet has made exposure to both all the information and no real information at all simultaneously possible. Not everyone can display active engagement and empathy with every tragedy everywhere. People have jobs, lives, kids, work, school, other commitments, mental and physical health to look after and even when they read the damn news, there’s no guarantee whatsoever the news is going to report it. If they haven’t made the conscious effort to search out every scrap of terribleness that exists in this hellworld, they.... really should not be shamed for that. If they don’t care even after they learn, that’s another debate. But again, in my experience, most people do. But if they are first exposed to it by someone claiming they won’t care, that makes them less likely to engage with it, and to want to enact meaningful change. Firing wittily sarcastic takedowns at easy targets on echo-chamber liberal Twitter is one thing. We all enjoy a good roast and venting our frustration at times. But as a long-term engagement strategy, it’s going to actively backfire.

I talk a lot about being a teacher, and my experiences with my students, but it’s relevant again, so here goes. The kids in my classes come in believing some pretty strange things, or they flat out don’t have a clue even about what I consider basic historical knowledge. If my reaction was to shame them for not knowing, when they have expressly come to me to learn better, I’m pretty sure I’d be a bad teacher. My strategy, whenever a student can actually be nudged to answer a question, is to pick out whatever correct thing they said. Even if the rest of the answer is wrong and we need to work through it, I start by highlighting the part of it that was right, and to build their confidence that I’m not just going to tear them down when they respond. Freshmen are scared of not knowing things and to be made to look like an idiot, so I try to assure them that I’m not going to do that and I will constructively engage with their contribution and treat it seriously. You can then move to dealing with the other parts of it that may not be right, or even Mmm Whatcha Say side-eye. It is a long and often frustrating process and sometimes after reading their essays, you wonder how much of an impression you made. But if you actually want to get people to care about things, you can’t mistake Ultimate Wokeness or Look How Progressive/Anti-establishment/Enlightened I Personally Am for the simple requirement of being a decent person. You can have the greatest and most necessary beliefs or value systems in the world, but if your response to people is to lash out at them even before they begin the conversation, you’re setting yourself back. And I know that’s not really what you want to do.

This should not be interpreted as some wishy-washy “everyone just needs to be nice to each other!!!” kindergarten-playground-rule. I frankly think the whole system could use a good nefarious dismantle, and you sure as hell don’t get there by mistaking insipid moral equivalence for necessary action. But accepting the existence of people different from you, and considering how you want to engage with them, and understanding that issues are complicated and people are flawed, is a fundamental part of being a mature adult (and this has nothing to do with chronological age; there are 15-year-olds who are plenty more mature adults than 50-year-olds). I honestly do love the desperate desire to make people care, and that, for the most part, is why people who identify as liberal or left-wing do so, because they want to (and they do) care. But it’s also why they can be bad at winning elections and getting into meaningful positions to enact this change. The right wing stays on message and sticks together. Even if they absolutely hated Trump, plenty of Republicans held their noses and voted for him anyway. The left did not do that. The greatest virtue of liberal thought, i.e. its determination to include multiple perspectives, has increasingly reduced it to smaller and smaller camps where only the purest survive, like some kind of ideological Hunger Games. It might be great for making yourself look good to your hall of mirrors, but.... not so good for actually doing something long-term.

Once again, this is not to blame anyone for being upset and worried about things, for wanting people to know about them, and so forth. But I am gently-but-firmly suggesting, in my capacity as old, salty, queer spinster academic aunt, that perhaps you consider how you start the conversation. Once again, it’s my experience that most people want to know and want to care, but there are countless factors that mean not every bad thing in the world will be acknowledged everywhere by everyone at all times. You can care about different things for different reasons. That is okay. You can care about something because you have a personal connection to it. That is also okay. You can not care about something because you just don’t have the capacity and are emotionally exhausted and there’s so much shit in this world that you have to compartmentalize and set boundaries. That is also okay.

For example, I was obviously very upset about Notre Dame, and still am, though I’m relieved it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Am I happy it’s going to be restored? Yes. Am I unbelievably angry that a half-dozen of the elite uber-rich could just suddenly throw billions of euros at it for its restoration, when it had to struggle for years to get funding for crucial renovations? Yes. Do I feel as if that if the vaults have suddenly been opened to restore one major European Christian landmark, it’s incredibly heartbreaking that that level of instant capital just won’t be addressed to actual endemic, long-term issues like global warming and social inequality and the Flint water crisis and whatever else, and that this is a sad and troubling message for our society in many ways? Yes.  All of these things exist together. And I imagine most people feel the same way.

In short: I realize this is the internet, and therefore just is not designed to do that, but maybe we can give each other a little bit more of the benefit of the doubt, and think about how we would like to educate and engage those we come in contact with, whether virtually or in reality. We can do it wherever and whoever we are, with anyone that we meet, and I wonder what it would be like if we did.

[dearkaelsman]

I know that a lot of people (both CE and especially non CE and non Gundam passerbys) are probably looking at our ranting and wondering why we hate this redub. And like... I just want to make it clear, especially to potential new watchers that may think we’re nuts for having issue with the dub, we’re not angry with it just to be mean or spiteful. We’re disappointed. Ocean’s dub wasn’t god tier, but it meant a lot to western fans like us, and instead of polishing it, it rolled around in mud.

//THIS.

For me, SEED - in its original English dub glory - is why I was friends with the people I was in high school. It’s why I’m friends with the people I am now. It was the anime that first caused me to look up the voices behind characters, and the show that facilitated my learning about anime conventions, and the realm of RPing.

It (as well as discovering how much I enjoyed shooting hockey) heavily influenced why I went into photojournalism.

So the announcement of the re-dub, and now hearing it, kind of felt like a personal attack on my teenage self, given the show is really close to my heart. It sounds silly, but in a lot of ways it has contributed and been part of a foundation of the person I have become.

I know those of us expressing being upset about the re-dub/reflub aren’t attacking for the sake of being mean to the new cast, or out of spite. The actors involved have done a lot of good work on other projects, especially video games - I really enjoy Max Mittelman (redub Kira) as Ryuji in P5 and he’s probably my favourite character. I like Cassandra Lee Morris (redub Miriallia) as Morgana. Having met some of these voice actors, I can say I really like them personally, and love that we’re in an era where they can communicate with fans and show that they, too, are fans of the shows they work on, and I respect them for that.

I can respect that the original SEED dub may only be available in final mix form, and couldn’t be adjusted for the HD Remaster. I understand there are bidding processes, and the distribution company, Nozomi, that bought the rights to distribute the remaster, made the choice to go about redubbing it the way they did, likely because there is some legislation in place where “American” projects must have “American products” used (this caused some animosity between then-Prime Minister Stephen Harper and then-President Barack Obama on a port project in B.C. that an American company was awarded the contract for. Obama would not allow Canadian materials or workers on the project, despite it taking place in Canada and it was all really messed up because of bureaucratic red tape).

I am, however, deeply disappointed that the product we’re getting for SEED, as you said, isn’t an improvement to the original, or polishing, it’s a complete bastardization of the original, and there’s no excuse for it.

SEED is not a simulcast. They recorded this project in 2017, weeks after they announced the re-dub cast. They’ve had over two years with this, so with them casting “big name” L.A. -based voice actors, it makes it look like they defaulted to the simulcast process, and were lazy with the project and didn’t put a lot of effort into the casting, the research of the show, or the show itself.

I’m hugely disappointed that the director chosen has a penchant for not doing research or understanding what she’s involved with as a voice actor, and was given SEED to work on for her directorial debut. I hoped she  would prove me wrong and that she’d take extra care with the project as director, but from what I’ve seen so far, she hasn’t.

She still has yet to acknowledge the original Ocean dub. The American “main” DBZ cast has NEVER shied away from acknowledging there was a Canadian dub. Kyle Hebert even credited Brad Swaile’s Gohan as being the first Gohan he ever heard, and that he incorporated some of his mannerisms into his performance.

Carrie Keranen (and granted, I haven’t checked since they were recording the project because she is the one Voice Actor I actually have a personal problem with so her Twitter makes me very upset) has flagrantly dismissed what was in that original dub, and why? Given how other redub projects have gone, it makes it look like she either wants to ignore the fact it exists as to not give it publicity, or looks down on it, and thought she could do better without putting the work into it that she should have.

She allowed script changes that ruined the integrity of the characters - allowing someone to portray Miriallia as a 10-year-old boy and say “fricken” like she actually is a 10 year old punk kid, modernizing Cagalli (she’s a princess, she shouldn’t talk entirely like a preteen girl at the mall, even if she had a penchant for running away), and stripping Kira of his attitude to be more...bland? In all honestly, she enabled a lack of effort and emotion in the scenes they’ve posted thus far.

She allowed liberties to be taken on the English language that were not taken in the original with no good explanation. This is seen in the pronunciation of Nicol, Tolle, Dearka’s names, the weird emphasis on Archangel, Gammow.

I’m deeply disappointed that she allowed/changed Dearka’s name to a racial slur, even if it’s one that only “white people” would consider a slur. Rather than being sensitive to how a choice of words can affect those around us, this decision actually perpetuates racism against Middle Eastern people, as if there’s not enough of that already. It also creates a divide between the longtime die-hard fans of Gundam SEED, and the new ones with pronunciation (and this has happened with other redub projects where fans have been lectured the “new” way is the “right” way to say things even when it’s not), ESPECIALLY if a movie comes out now, which will make officially make her cast the “main” English cast, and everything the old cast did will essentially be erased from the collective fandom mind.

As a Canadian, I’m also disappointed at what redubbing one of the larger anime projects to come through Ocean/Vancouver means for the voice industry here.I’m hugely concerned, and I have been for some time for my favourite voice actors, and it’s easier to express this concern with regards to a specific project, than just in general.

It’s hard to know that B.C. is becoming the “Silicon Valley of the North,” and animation studios here are doing exceptional work (Into the SpiderVerse was done in Vancouver, The Dragon Prince is animated in Vancouver/Kelowna, the new Magic the Gathering series will be animated by the same studio, they’ve done a ton of work for Disney, Cartoon Network, DreamWorks etc.), and yet our voice actors are being forced to move, take up side jobs/new careers, when they should be voicing those projects, in favour of L.A. based dubbers who sadly don’t seem to put the effort into their projects that B.C. was able to.

They had an opportunity to make the redub decent, and they squandered it, and they’re really overselling the idea that in a digital age people weren’t already aware of SEED. The only people who will watching it “fresh” now are the type that are obsessive about specific voice actors and would worship the ground they walked on, rather than really enjoy a show for the show’s own merit.

And given what they’re doing to it in this dub, they’re going to actually make more people hate the series than already do.