#tweek is an elf but he hates them

[patfr8]

Stick of Truth changes my brain chemistry lmao

[princessconsuela120]

So while writing the next two chapters I’ve realized there’s a lot of extra info I haven’t added so I’m gonna make this a second info page for Juno, broken down into sections!

Basics:

- Juno Marsh is the daughter of Sharon and Randy Marsh, and twin sister of Stanley Marsh, younger sister of Shelley Marsh. She is the youngest in the family.

- She lives in South Park Colorado next door to the Broflovski’s

- She had mid length raven black hair, and deep blue eyes.

- She owns a dog named Sparky.

- She is friends with her brothers friends, though her closest friend is Kenny McCormick.

- She is a junior at South Park High.

Friends:

Kenny McCormick - lead guitarist in the band Crimson Dawn. Best friends with Juno Marsh since preschool. Was turned mortal in 5th grade after a mission to defeat his curse set out by him and Juno, where they broke him of his curse. Big pothead, but not to the point where it’s a problem. Dumb on the outside, but is actually really smart. Works a job to provide mostly for his little sister. Karen adores Juno. Kevin McCormick and Shelly Marsh have been dating for 3 years, and were set up by Kenny and Juno.

Stan Marsh - lead singer in the band Crimson Dawn. Still best friends with Kyle. Short tempered, but actually very sensitive. Hates his family lovingly. Has depression, takes anti-depressants. Has an alcohol problem, though he’s trying very hard to fix it. Refuses to take off his hat, Juno had to get him to wash his hair more. Not as greasy as it was when they were kids, but not the best.

Kyle Broflovski - Has been in love with Juno Marsh since the 4th grade. He fell first she fell harder. The smartest in the class. Is on the varsity basketball team, number 19 (Juno’s bday). Still wears his hat all the time, hates his hair but has warmed up to it more. Hates anything to do with alcohol or drugs. Designated driver always. Helps his brother with homework. Babysits Ike with Juno frequently. An awkward teenage boy, though a lot of girls have crushes on him (including Juno).

Eric Cartman - Still an asshole. Is trying his best. Has chilled down a lot since 4th grade. Was put on medication and sent to therapy after being diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder, with the help of Juno. Almost flunked out of high school, Juno tutored him which led to discovering his mental illness. Is surprisingly a lot better after starting medication. He pretends not to tolerate anyone but actually has a soft spot for his friends. Is slowly working his way up to being forgiven, even by Kyle. Forgets to take his meds and can be insufferable when Liane doesn’t remind him.

Butters - still the sweetest boy alive. Was diagnosed with autism, with Juno’s help. Brought both Juno and Kenny to Hawaii, they’re his favorite people. Juno is the only one allowed to call him Leo. He’s softened up a lot after discovering that he isn’t crazy his mind is just a little different. Owns a cat named Oatmeal, she’s basically his service cat.

Craig Tucker - Cousins with the Marsh family (Laura is Randy’s sister). Very close with Juno, has a fake rivalry with Stan. Smoking buddies with Juno and Kenny.

Tweek Tweak - works for tweak bros with his family. Juno and Craig convinced him to form a new recipe for coffee, and has slowly derailed him from his meth addiction. He still has raging anxiety but is getting healthier. Tweek and Craig have been together since 4th grade.

Wendy Testaburger - Has been dating Stan off and on since 4th grade. Good friends with Juno Marsh, even if her and Stan are on a break.

Stick of truth:

Story will come later!

Juno is known as Princess Juno of the Nine Realms, Princess Juno for short. She is “married” to the elf prince Kyle, which United their kingdoms and made them king and queen.

Fractured But Whole:

Story will come later!

Juno is known as The Gemini.

Her abilities are cloning, power replication (can temporarily take the powers of an individual), yin and Yang ( damages all enemies but strengthens all teammates), and water manipulation. She had started her own super hero team against Coon and Friends titled Supers of Terrific Dare (STDs) with members; The Gemini (Juno), Mysterion (Kenny), Call Girl (Wendy), SheWolf (Annie), FashionMonger (Bebe), Barbaria (Red),

Nightshade (Nichole), Henrietta, Michael, Pete, Super Craig, Wonder Tweek. (Yes she gained girl and goth alliance, making her the strongest group)

More of the girls superhero’s I came up with come later in a character chart!

[empressofthesunwriter]

The Stick of Truth

Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1!

N.K. is angry at her parents. Not only did they move again, no, but they moved into a snowy hicktown named South Park! She was sure she would hate it there, yet surprisingly she gets to participate in the epic RPG the kids play and falls for the human princess and the elf king. Who is friend, who is foe and which side should she choose?

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Chapter 11: When all goes to shit!

All I can say I’m on a roll these last two days!

I needed to write and finish this chapter.

Happy reading!

It’s already dawn when the whole army of Kupa Keep, seriously where do all these kids come from, I never saw them at the Kingdom, and the Goth kids reach the school.

King If-I-don’t-eat-cheesy-pops-I-will-die stands before us.

Loud, so that even the people a neighborhood away can hear him, he proclaims: “Defenders of freedom! I thank you for your courage, and your audacities in joining our fight! Tonight, we are no longer the humans or the goths. Tonight, we unite as ONE!”

“I feel like SUCH a homo sapien right now.”, deadpans the boss goth, whom I learned his name is Micheal.

I can’t help but snort. It’s funny! Even if this wasn’t surely why he said it.

By the way, I love the whole Viking-vibe, the Goths have going on. They look cool!

Two of the upper-floor windows open and elves look out of it.

“THE HUMANS ARE HERE!”, shouts one, as another blows a war horn.

“Ooh, they blew their horn! Blow ours, Butters!”, commands King I-need-to-see-a-diat-doctor.

Leo does just that, while Cartman shouts more commands: “Guys, flank left! Goth kids, prepare to attack from behind!”

It’s time!

Let’s get this show on the roll.

I take a deep breath and feel how Princess Kenny takes my hand. We look at each other in understanding.

Tonight the Wizard King will fall and a Queen will rise!

Getting into the school is easy.

We planned that the elven would barricade the front door, "forcing" us to use the backdoor.

I have Leo and Princess Kenny with me as we make our way through the kitchen.

“N.K., if you're in the building: You're fighting for a tyrant, but I know there's good in you.”, sounds from the speaker’s King Kyle’s voice. He is playing his part perfectly. “Stop fighting for your evil lord! Free yourself from his control!”

I’m holding hands with Kenny, while Leo holds into my arm.

“A-All right, fella’s, no turning back.”, he stutters nervously.

“It will work, don’t worry.”, reassures Princess Kenny.

I nod in agreement.

“Just stick to what we discussed and nothing bad will happen.”

“I-I will try.”

We reach the cafeteria where Tweek perfectly plays having a meltdown since all his friends are "death".

There are other kids from Kupa Keep we don’t know and aren’t part of our plan. He needs to.

I give him a head pat.

Me and my two buddies move forward.

We reach the barricade of the elven.

“Monsieur Hamilton?”, whispers an elf to me.

“Monsieur Lafayette!”, I say the code we agreed on.

If you are wondering is this a Hamilton reference?

Yes, yes it is!

I love that musical!

With a nod, the elf let us through without problems.

We leave the cafeteria and are in the familiar hallway where Princess Kenny and I defeated the evil sixth-grader ginger hall monitor.

Again we get asked the code by the elves and I answer.

As we pass the barricade King Kyle’s voice sounds from the speakers again.

“These are the terms of your surrender! One! You will be the elves' personal slave for...”

“A month.”, comes Stan along.

“One month! Two! You agree that the elves are the masters of the Stick for all time! Three. You eh...”

“Hey, hand me the mic for a sec. Three. The so-called Grand Wizard has to jump up and down continuously for three straight days. If he stops early, he has to start over.”

“Hehehahyahaheh!”

Princess Kenny and I laugh imagine if Cartman has to do this really.

All this bouncy fat, I can’t!

Only Leo tries not to laugh. My little brother is such a sweet bean.

We reach now the basement…and what the fuck?

Why is Cartman there?

Wasn’t he busy at the entrance?

He stands over a ginger hallway monitor, frowning.

As King Fatass hears us coming down the stairs he turns to us.

“Stay back you guys! Something is seriously wrong with the hallway monitors!”

“Help... please...”, whimpers the hall monitor.

“That's Gary Nelson!”, yells Leo and runs up to his side. He helps Gary sit up.

“Don't touch him, he's ginger!”, warns Cartman.

Princess Kenny and I deadpan at him and I so wish I could already kick his ass.

“We came to school the morning after the earthquake to report for duty.”, explains Gary, coughing. “We didn't know the school had been canceled. We heard a sound from down here, found this green goo, i-it was everywhere. It... changed the other hallway monitors.”

“Serves you right for being a patsy-ass hallway monitor in the first place.”, huffs our Grand Wizard Asshole.

Gary stands up, turning his back to us, staggering away.

“Something in the goo... it... it...”

Suddenly he turns back around.

Oh no!

He is a Nazi Zombie!

That is the signal for our brave Wizard Fatass to run out of the basement.

“AAGHGH! Somehow that green goo makes ginger hallway monitors even LAMER!”

 We three get ready to battle the zombified Nazi ginger.

Good that we are three since he calls for backup.

We defeat them.

“Hey! What's wrong with these guys?”, asks Princess Kenny.

“Yeah, big sis, what happened to these guys?”, wonders Leo.

“You guys heard about the Taco Bell, which is going to be built? Well, it’s actually a crash-landed UFO who leeks this green goo which turns basically anything organic into a Nazi Zombie.”, I explain.

“You are shitting me.”, say’s Princess Kenny in disbelief.

“I wish I was, but it’s true.”

“That’s such a cliche!”

“I know!”

“Fella’s, we need to get moving. Even if I agree with ya.”

“You are right, Leo.”

We make our way through the basement.

More Ginger Nazi Zombies await us, but using the special abilities of my friends and the environment to our advantage we manage to defeat them.

I can’t help myself and flirt a bit with Kenny: “Your tits are so amazing, even the brain death get charmed by them.”

She giggles cutely, giving me as thank you, a quick kiss on the lips.

At least one of my crushes is into me.

Sign.

I wonder what I need to do to get a sweet kiss from Kyle?

We are finally out of the basement. The hallway we follow leads us to the school entrance.

“N.K! You don't want to be on the wrong side of this when Wizard Fatass's army falls. Think about what you're doing!”

There Stan waits all ready for us with his elven.

He plays his part as an obstacle awesome, but did he really need to use dog poo on us?

Anyway, we “conquer” the lobby, and Stan retreats.

Entering from the right comes Wizard Big Belly.

“Good work! Douchebag, man the catapult, and let our guys through the front door. Everyone, fall in!”

I nod, doing as he says.

We are closing now on the Endgame.

I need to use Cup-A-Spell to let the barricade before the front door explodes so the rest of the Kupa Keep army can enter the school.

I swerve, in the next RPG, I will demand no farting powers!

“Push forward! I must save my strength for the final battle!”, tells me Cartman.

“As you wish my lord.”, I simply reply.

Me, Kenny, and Leo continue on.

Stan is in the hallway and after making sure Cartman or someone who isn’t on the plan isn’t with us he smiles sheepishly at us.

“Sorry about the dogpoo. I hope I didn’t get one of you.”

“It’s whatever.”, I wave it off. “You played your part and in the end, this is all that is important. Also Stan where is Tammy?”

Surprisingly I hear how Kenny mumbles her name in question. I wonder what’s up with that?

“She is with Kyle, protecting him. Lady Tammy is a damn good fighter!”

Proud like a mama I nod.

“That she is. We see us later Stan.”

He salutes and lets us pass.

“N.K.”, whisper Kenny. “Is this Tammy, Tammy Warner?”

Now I’m the one who is surprised.

“Yeah. Do you know her?”

Kenny is silent, but Leo isn’t.

“Tammy Warner? Wasn’t she your girlfriend, Kenny?”

….WHAT?!

“Butters!”, hisses Kenny angrily, and my little bro flatters under the eyes of the Princess.

“Okay, we will open this can of worms later.”, I decide for us all. “We need to focus and stick to the plan.”

We reach the second floor.

There we "help" Tweek and King Kyle has another message: “Last chance, N.K.! He's nothing without you. Walk away from this!”

We continue on and enter the hallway with the fourth-grade and fifth-grade classrooms.

“Seriously, N.K. , you're breaking my balls here.”

Again, how the heck did Cartman manage to be there before us? He was behind us! Craig and Scott are with him also.

“This is it!”, tells me Fatass. “You have the honor of leading the final assault, Commander.”

Oh if only you know.

I look at my friends, who all give me nods.

There are ready to.

So I open the door to the fourth-grade classroom.

King Kyle with a hooded Tammy on his side awaits us.

“Back away from the desk, Jew King!”, shouts King I’m-pretty-much-against-everyone-who-isn’t-white-straight-male-and-catholic.

“The Stick doesn't belong with a fat, RACIST LIAR!”, counters King Kyle.

While the two throw insults at each other the rest of my friends joins us in the classroom and Tammy walks over to me. She squeezes my hand in comfort.

It’s nearly time.

“All right, Kyle, you fuckin asked for it.”, growls Cartman after the two are done with their shouting match. King Kyle was right he really knows how to rile up Cartman. “Go ahead and kick his ass, Douchebag.”

All is still.

No one moves.

King Cheesy Pops looks around confused.

“Hello? Commander Douchebag, do your thing.”

“Actually…”, I trail off and hold my wand under his fat double chin. “This is the part where you get your ass kicked!”

“Fucking what?!  Oh, you motherfucker! I KNEW you were a fucking douchebag!”

But then his eyes widen as he sees that all are pointing their weapons at him.

Elven and human.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT’S GOING ON?!”, he shrieks aloud. “HAVE YOU ALL TURNED FUCKING TRAITORS?!”

“Let’s just say we are ready for a new era.”, deadpan Craig at him.

“WHAT?!”

I poke with my wand his double chin.

“It means I’m challenging you to a duel for the throne of Kupa Keep! Since I have the majority on my side it’s my right to ask for a change in the RPG. Everybody here, all the major players, supports this. So it’s legit. If you win you stay King, if I win Kupa Keep is mine!”

“YOU-YOU LITTLE POWER-HUNGRY PUSSY I WILL SHOW YOU TO TAKE MY MAN FROM ME AND TRY TO GET MY THRONE!”

With a battle cry, Cartman launches himself at me and we start our epic battle.

In the end, even if I hate it how, I win, since my farts were more potent than his.

Defeated Cartman lay on the floor.

I breathe heavily, not believing I have done it.

I defeated him.

I will be queen!

I raise my wand high in victory.

All around me the guys and Tammy celebrate and applaud me.

“Ding dong, the wicked wizard is death!”, yells Tammy and hugs me from behind.

Then I step away from her to Cartman.

I want him to see this.

“Fatass you shall know who really defeated you.”, I say to him.

Tired he raises his head, glaring at me.

“Oh, I know it perfectly a traitorous douchebag!”

“No, A GIRL!”

Dramatically I strip away my Link cosplay and I stand before him as Dark Magician Girl.

Like this, no one can mistake me for a boy.

I hear gulps and feel looks on my free legs and my hemline, where you can see a bit of my breast modestly peeking out.

“I have a girlfriend, I have a girlfriend…”, mumbles Token.

“Me too, we shouldn’t look, dude…”, adds Stan.

“Oh dear, I think my blood sugar just got higher.”, murmurs Scott.

“W-What a d-dramatic revelation m-my lady!”, congrats me Jimmy.

“My big sister is so pretty!”, gushes Leo.

“Well, rational speaking she is pretty but it doesn’t do it for me.”, deadpan Craig. Surprisingly Tweek agrees with him.

…My Bi-Fi is picking something up…

I can feel how Kenny formally zeros on my breasts and…Kyle is adorable red in the face and tries to not look in my direction.

Tammy and I share a look.

Boys.

Only Cartman looks at me in disgust.

“You were a girl! The whole time! You fucking liar! I should banish-“

“You can’t anymore.”, I stop him. “I won the duel. I’m now the rightful ruler of Kupa Keep. I’m the Dark Magician Queen N.K. and you will accept this or you can stop playing with us.”

Fatass gets so red in the face that he resembles an angry pepperoni.

“Wait for a second guys.”, calls Tammy for attention.

We all collectively ignore Cartman’s outrage over another girl.

“We all set up Cartman with the Stick been in the possession of the elven, but where is the Stick actually? Since Cartman clearly hasn’t it like we thought.”

…OH MY GOD TAMMY IS RIGHT!

“What, I thought you guys had stolen the Stick already from him and placed it in his table.”, tells us, King Kyle.

…WHAT?!

“Kyle, who wrote you this?”, I ask him with a bad feeling in my stomach.

“I get a letter with your initials on it.”

“Well, I didn’t send you one!”

What is going on?!

“Guys, our school uses tabletops. They don’t have insides!”, reminds us, Tammy.

Now even Cartman looks worried around.

Someone is playing with all of us!

“Hey look at this!”, calls Leo over. He had inspected the tabletops. “This desk has writing on it! "Check my locker."”

“Whose desk is that?”, wonders Kyle.

It’s Cartman who answers him: “That's... that's CLYDE'S desk.”

Uh-Oh.

I follow Kyle, Stan, and Cartman to Clyde’s locker, the others are all behind us.

The locker isn’t even closed and Stan takes out a laptop from it.

He plays the video on it.

Clyde in violette armor with the Stick of Truth in his hands appears!

“Greetings, Humans and Drow Elves of Zaron!”

“Clyde!”, shouts Stan.

“HE took the Stick!”, realizes Cartman.

“No shit Sherlock!”, I add shocked.

“While you have all been busy fighting amongst yourselves, I have built a kingdom beyond your comprehension! I prayed for a way to destroy you all and the solution came crashing down from the heavens!”

“Oh no it's more of that green stuff!”, points Kyle out.

“Oh god don’t tell me he is going to turn the death kitty into a Nazi Zombie!”, I shriek.

Sadly he does.

Fuck you dude!

“With what I have found, I shall raise an army of the dead! I shall raise an entire army of darkness and kill the earth!”

“Clyde... but why?”, wonders Stan.

“I banished him to be lost in space and time -- now he's all pissed off.”, tells him Fatass.

“So you see, FOOLS, I control the stick AND the future of the Earth.”

“Clyde, do you want a sandwich?”

“Not right now Dad I'm making a Ruler of Darkness video. Whoever controls the Stick controls the universe -- and my first deed is that I hereby DENOUNCE the human and the elf kingdoms! I know about little Douchebag’s plan to dethrone the Wizard King so to be sure I strip all rulers of all their power! HAHAHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHAA!”

With that the video ends.

“Motherfucker!”, curses Cartman.

We all whole heartily agree.

I wasn’t even queen for half an hour and now that!

Fuck you, Clyde, I hope you catch something nasty!

Together all important humans and elven make their way to Clyde’s house.

With his wizard stick, Cartman knocks angrily at the door.

“Oh hello, boys! Oh and the two young ladies.”, greets Clyde’s dad.

“Can we speak to Clyde, please?!”, ask and demands Cartman at the same time.

“Oh, Clyde's out playing in the backyard with his little friends.”

With that, we all enter the house and go to the backyard.

What we see…Clyde Kingdom is bigger than Kupa Keep and the Eleven Kingdom together multiply by 10!

It would be really impressive if Clyde didn’t get a villain arc.

“Come and get it losers! Ha ha ha haa!”, mocks Clyde from one of his balconies.

“You can't do that Clyde! You're lost in time and space!”, reminds him Cartman.

“No, I'm not.”

“Yeah, you are, asshole!”

“Army of Darkness! Defend the fortress!”

From everywhere kids appear on the fortress.

I see these fake poser wannabe vampire kids, the fifth-grade girls I bet up, some other fifth graders who pose as Cyclops, and…

“Craig... ?”, trails Cartman off. “Craig you're on my side!”

“You mean on my side. I may have been queen only for a few minutes but it still counts!”, I remind him. “But I agree, Craig what are you doing there?!”

“None of you have authority anymore, the keeper of the Stick said so.”

“This can't be happening.”, says Kyle in disbelief.

Meanwhile, Cartman shouts: “GOD DAMMIT I HAVE FUCKING AUTHORITAH!”

“Sorry, warriors and wizards, I'd love to invite you into my fortress of darkness, but I'm afraid you're too LATE!”, stresses Clyde the word late.

“Too late?”, repeats Stan confused. “What’d ya mean we're too late?”

Suddenly Leo’s parents appear.

“There you are, Butters! Do you know what time it is mister?! It is WAY PAST YOUR BEDTIME!”, yells his dad.

“Oh shit it's past our bedtime?”, curses Cartman.

Kyle is already walking out of the backyard.

“Dude I'm gonna get it!”

“Hahaha, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”, laughs Clyde in our faces.

Tammy takes my hand.

Together we leave the backyard.

Fucking bullshit!

I enter my home pissed beyond belief.

We manage to dethrone Cartman, me becoming queen of Kupa Keep, only to have this plot twist with Clyde and his army of darkness and the goddamn motherfucking Stick of Truth!

Who writes this game?!

J.J. Abrams?

Or a fangirl with way too much time on her hands?!

“N.K. sweetie there you are, we got worried.”, greets me, Mamma.

“Aren’t you cold like that?”, wonders Papà, pointing at my Dark Magician Girl cosplay. “What happened to your Link cosplay?”

….I’m not gonna tell that I ripped it off to have a dramatic reveal of my true gender.

“No Papà, I’m not cold. I put Link back in the closet. I wanted to be Dark Magician Girl.”

“Well, you will know for sure what is good for you, princess.”

Tired from all this day I ask what’s for dinner.

They got take-out food again, this time from City Wok. They already eat, so I sit down with my noodle box between my parents and watch with them TV.

It’s a documentary about ancient Greece.

Nice.

I love this shit.

After I’m finished eating my parents tell me it’s really time for bed now, I can’t finish watching with them the documentary.

Another disappointment for the day.

I go up to the bathroom, take a quick shower and put my P.J. on.

I’m cuddling up with my teddy bear in bed, as Mamma walks in to wish me a good night like always.

“Goodnight, my little gumdrop.”, she cooed. “Hope you're enjoying all the peace and quiet in our new home as much as we are.”

Peace and quiet.

That’s funny.

We have not only free wandering Nazi Zombies here, the treat that three entire blocks of South Park get blown up by the government, no a fourth-grade boy is on an ego trip and uses the goo who turns people into Nazi Zombies for taking revenge because he got banish in a stupid little RPG!

I huff and snuggle with my teddy bear.

“This whole town and its inhabits are nuts, Ursa!”, I whisper-shout to my teddy bear.

Yeah, I talk with my teddy bear and I gave her the most creative name ever! Leave me alone.

Ursa of course has no words of encouragement for me.

It’s not Toy Story.

I close my eyes and try to sleep.

I will need all my forces tomorrow to kick Clyde’s ass and somehow stop the Nazi Zombies.

What is my life?

I don’t know anymore.

We should have stayed in Seattle, would have been better for anybody.

With that thought on my mind, I fall into a restless sleep.

Next

[membermentmania]

August 16th, 10:57-11:24pm

Tweek’s trip to Earth escaped him. He just kept reminding himself of the plan. All he needed was his plan and he would be fine. 

He sat on it for centuries. Deciding not to seek Craig out this time hurt endlessly. He’d never had to seek him out, but now he wasn’t going in, ready to look for him like he planned. That alone hurt. It didn’t help that he was at a seriously low point. But he’d rather not see him again then meet him all over and have to leave him. 

His eyes fluttered open to see deep green. He was laying below trees. His heart panged as he tried to will away thoughts of the Lost Forest. Or Faery Island. Fuck. He sat up, breathing out a pained sigh. His chest hurt. He didn’t even bother to stand for a minute, trying to figure out a plan. Might as well see if the language is the same first. 

He stood up on shaky legs and started walking. He felt drained. Sage eyes were muted. He barely took in his surroundings. The sun was warm against his skin. He looked down to see he was in an olive green t-shirt and black jeans with a pair of sneakers. He’d barely even processed it when he changed. He caught sight of his hands. Five fingers. He wiggled them slightly, stomach churning. He didn’t suddenly hate humanity. He didn’t hate being human. He loved it. He ran a hand through his hair. It was still so soft. His stomach continued to twist violently. 

He was not human. 

No plans. No connections. No attachments. You do not belong here. 

He took a shaky deep breath as he kept walking, eventually exiting the woods. Earth looked so much more urban this time around. Much more similar to Eldoria. They seemed to advance quickly this time around. He passed a church almost immediately once he left the woods. It was nothing like the temple in the Elf Kingdom, but he knew what it was supposed to be. Maybe I’ll check it out. 

He walked past it, trying to find a more densely populated area. He walked a few blocks, people eventually popping up. A lady brushed past him, talking on a cellphone in a language he didn’t recognize. Wait. Wait. They got cellphones this time around? His eyes widened in surprise. They were a bit bulky, definitely inconvenient, but also most certainly cellphones. 

He pushed the thought to the side, realizing the problem. He had to pick up the language. He sighed. No robbing people. No accidentally getting swept up in other people’s lives. I want to stay alone this time. For my own sake, I need to do that. 

He kept walking. He circled a few blocks, trying to get a feel for the area. It wasn’t as warm as the last two times he was there, but it was manageable. After realizing their roads system was easily navigable, he went back towards where there seemed to be a few more people. Luck shined down upon him. He spotted a man and woman fighting. The woman looked afraid. He ignored the fact that she looked vaguely familiar. 

He said a silent thank you to whoever was looking out for him and ran over without a second thought. He didn’t hesitate to headbutt the guy as hard as he could. The man dropped to the ground, completely knocked out. “Oh my god, thank you so much!” the woman exclaimed, obviously shaken. 

Okay, great. I can understand them. “Yeah, of course.” She raised an eyebrow at him. He tilted his head slightly. “Sorry, can you not understand me?” He could definitely understand her. 

“Oh, no! I can. Just, your accent is interesting.” 

He gave her a small nod of acknowledgment. “Are you alright, though?” 

“Yes. Thank you again!” 

“Not a problem. Have a good day.” He spun around and started walking off, now in a much better standing. He was happy he didn’t have to assault an innocent stranger on the street and it was nice to help someone out in the process. 

He walked around for a bit until he saw a coffee shop. Earth coffee was always different from what he had at home. He walked in without a second thought. His mistake was not realizing how many options there could possibly be. He looked over the menu and frowned. He was still trying to acclimate to the language and was already overwhelmed. This did not help. 

“Too many options?” the guy from behind the counter asked. He had a 

[nunukim-182]

The Stick of Truth Post-Apocalypse AU

Okay guys I thought this Idea for 1 year and I didn’t post it anywhere but the time has come to show this and I am going to show this. you can use this whatever you like.

-Based in SOT Prototype, SOT, and PD Fantasy Deck-

Based headcanons and ships

Red is Craig’s cousin(I will always keep this in my mind) and some new spieces has come out and some of kids has changed their spieces. and the ship is based in Stendy, Clybe, Revin, Creek, Tokole, Brather, Creek, Jela, Franpoo and more. 

-THE WHOLE STORY-

Land of Zaron had two gods. One name was Pip, the god of life and the other one was Demien, the god of death. Two Gods created Zaron and they made several races but they realized their people has no emotions. So they made new godess, Leslie the godess of Emotions. People made her temple and they preyed when they are angry or sad. Leslie did listened them first, but she became get fallen because of people’s bad emotions. So she decided to destroy Zaron, and make everybody happy and joyful at the other dementions. So land of Zaron became a dead land and some people became violent. All the skies have been dark and the sun and moon never rised again. Gods tried to stop her but she was so powerful, so they asked human leaders for help.

Some Leaders said they have to fight back, but some leaders said no, cause that is so dangerous, and they were afraid of her. so half of the Leaders fight back, and the others just stayed in their kingdom. After two weeks Leaders and god gave Leslie a huge damage but they all died. Also Pip and Demien got such a damage and the balance between Life and Death are destroyed. People can’t gave birth, and they can’t die easily. Some of had a curse that makes people younger and younger. People who survived prepared to strike back since 2 years.

-After the war-

Half elves occupied Kupa Keep because Grand wizard hated them so much.

Drow elf kingdom’s forest had died half of it.

Fairies had fallen, and their homeground has been destroyed.

the Stark’s pond get dried after the war, and inside there has many ancient weapons. Half elves occupied there too, and they dig up the weapons and sell to canada.

Sun and Moon has come back, but the skies are all grayish.

The crops can’t grow much, they have to peel of trees to eat. Crops and meat are very expensive.

-Characters-

Stan Marsh- he is a human, and he is guard of Drow Elf king. He had survived in the huge war but he got a curse being younger, and Sparky had died of hunger. His age is 20 up, but he looks like 10 year old.

Kyle Bloflovski- he is Drow Elf King. He married Rebecca, the fairy princess. but she had fallen cause of Leslie’s curse. First he opposed to fight but he regret it after the war because Ike died and many elves can’t die even they get such a huge injury.

Eric Cartman- He is Princess Kenny’s Thane, also the Grand Wizard. But Kenny didn’t have much power, so everybody stood up for him. He joined the war because of the fame and strength he can get. But he runs away and Blood elf queen cursed him and his army and he became a fat racoon. He can’t go into his castle cause half elves occupied Kupa Keep.

Kenny Mccormic- The princess of Kupa keep. He is male, but he says he is a princess. he is half Orc, and he is immortal. but his kingdom has occupied, and some of leaders want to have him. He has sister named Karen. He is in his tower, but Butters won’t let him go.

Karen Mccormic- she is a princess of Kupa keep. she ran away from there and live with vampires. Vampires adore her a lot.

Butters Stotch- he was a loyal paladin of Wizard and Princess. but he had fallen and guard the Princess’s tower. Half elf leader Gregory and Dual axe Nelly, Wendy want to meet princess, but Butters guard him so bad.

Wendy Testaburger- She was a soldier, Blood elf’s guard, but she quit and became a leader of her tribe. She was close to Kenny, so she wanted to make Kupa Keep more great once more.

Craig Tucker- He is a spy of Dark Kingdom, and he was loyal theif of Grand wizard. but after the war, Clyde call him to come back, and he saw Clyde had been fallen out and he ran away. He works at Tweek’s inn now. He had cursed and he knew he will die someday. 

Clyde Donovan- He is Lord of Darkness, and his race is half dwarf. He is not intelligent, but he has tolorence to everyone, his people loved him. He married with Blood Elf queen, but she died cause of war. He wanted to revive her and prayed, Leslie told him to collect 1000 souls for her. He had fallen out and collected souls of his servants. He regrets this so hard when he collected 500 souls.

Token Black- He is Clyde’s housecarl. But his soul vanished because of Clyde. He helps Craig run away from here.

Jimmy Valmer- He is a bard, but also he is Leslie’s loyal priest. But people didn’t know about it. He makes people make follow of Leslie.

Tweek Tweak- He was a Babarian, and a good Archer. But he quit and made a inn for everybody. He also dealing drugs with some addicted peoples.

Bebe Stevens- She is a Blood Elf Queen, and she was having a war against Drow Elves. She needed someone to help her and she married with Lord of darkness. She joined the war and saw Cartman and his army ran away, she cursed them. She died, and people can just find her bow.

Nicole Daniels- she was Clyde’s  Accountant. but Clyde take everybody’s soul except hers because she was smart. Clyde treated her like a maid, but she kept saying good things and this made Clyde annoying, so he made her as a doll.

Kevin Stoley- He is a Emperor of Acient Dragon Kingdom. He used to make magical weapons and items. He was going to marry with his love but he died at the war. 

Esther Stoley- Kevin’s twin sister. She is Empress and she ruled her kingdom more than Kevin. Also she died, but she wrote the propecy that 2 years later, everything will be changed.

Bradley Biggle- The High Elf King. He married with Esther but he took his tribe to other dimensions. Wizard Jenny helped him to making a portal.

Francis- He was a nobility of humans but after half elves occupied Kupa keep, he became a slavery and works at stark’s pond.

Dogpoo Petuski- He is a half elf, and he is a traveler. He usually came to stark’s pond for looking an Item but he dissapeared. Everybody said he was seen at the Dark Castle.

Red- She was a Dragon slayer, and she fell in love with emperor. they were going to marry, but Kevin died. She know his sword is in Stark’s pond, and she works hard to find that sword. 

Gregory of Yardale- He is Leader of Half elf, and he occupies Kupa Keep. He wanted to talk with Princess but failed.

Nelly- She is a Rebel of human races. She want to capture princess and became new leader of Kupa Keep, but Butters guard there so hard.

Heidi Turner- She is a Half elf and rules the stark pond workers. She has a rumor that she had slept with Fat Wizard and Elf king, but she denys that.

Rebecca Colstwolds- She is a princess of Fairy Kingdom. Mark, the King of Faries and her brother helped her to see many things but she had fallen out.\

It’s very long and I thought this but I can’t draw this in comic it makes me so tired. just use or fix it whatever you want.

[uas-fics]

Title: The Dark Lord's Offer Summary: The Dark Lord has Bebe kidnapped so he can make her an offer for power. Rating: T for blood and language Ships: Clybe Content Warnings: Death mention Other: Stick of Truth AU

read on ao3

~~~~~

Bebe was not fond of being on the sharpen end of a spear. She had spent years training to be the one at the other end, but for this time only, she allowed herself to be lead down the echoing halls with a spear at her back.

The tower smelt of death and rot. She could taste it in the back of her mouth. Her stomach turned in protest of the sickening stench. How much of the smell came from the undead and disgusting inhabitants, and how much came from necromantic magic of the Dark Lord, she wasn’t sure.

The vampire in front of her held up her hand as a signal to the ogres flanking Bebe to halt. A tall door towered in front of them. A faint, cold breeze squeezed under it and pressed against Bebe's ankles.

The vampire slipped inside, shutting the door behind her.

With the smartest of her capturers gone, Bebe eyed her surroundings  with worry. The hall ended at this door. Shards of broken bone littered the floor. Some of the larger pieces looked as though they had been chewed on.

Maybe the Dark Lord is a dog. Bebe scoffed to herself.

As if hearing her thoughts, one of the ogres picked up larger piece of bone and stuck it between its teeth. She wrinkled up her nose at that.

Ogres were such wretched creatures: simple minded, ugly, smelly, violent, and strong. They followed who ever had the most power. It was no wonder every ogre from all around the lands heeded the Dark Lord's call. There was nothing more powerful than The Stick, and they knew it.

Amongst the stark white shards, something glinted in the light from the wall torches. Bebe fixed her gaze on it.

An arrow head.

She glanced between the ogres flanking her before letting out a gasp and falling to her knees.

"Oh, dear!" She cried in faux pain. "I feel suddenly faint. It must be the stench!" Bebe made sure her hand fell on the arrow head.

"Up!" The ogre ordered. "Up, now, or we stab!" It raised its spear threateningly.

Bebe rolled her eyes, clenching her palm around the arrow head. She stood before sneaking it into her pocket.

"I feel better, thank you for asking." Bebe muttered. She fingered the head a moment. It wasn't as sharp as she had hoped, but there was just enough of the shaft that she could use it as a makeshift dagger if things came to that.

The vampire opened the door then. She nodded to the ogres, who took a step back.

"His Darkness will see you now. Don’t think about trying anything. He is much stronger than you, mortal." The vampire hissed, holding open the door for Bebe.

Bebe squared her shoulders, puffed out her chest, and marched in, the door creaking closed behind her. The breeze blew her cape back. She must have looked particularly heroic at that moment. Good. She wanted this Dark Lord person to be wary of her power.

Shadows shrouded the Dark Lord's throne. Only his knees and stylish purple boots could be seen. He tapped his left foot as Bebe strode up to his throne.

"Why have you kidnapped me?" She demanded before he could speak. "Once my fellow warriors realize I'm missing, they will come. Hell hath no fury as a woman's wrath." She glowered at the darkness.

A rumbling laugh echoed around the throne room. The Dark Lord stood and stepped into the light. Bebe's eyes went wide.

Clyde Donovan smiled at her and held out his arms. It was meant to be a warm smile, but everything about it felt fake.

"Welcome to my tower, Bebe! Sorry I had to have someone escort you, but I didn't want your friends here. You understand, right?" Clyde stopped in front of her. He cranked his head down to look her in the eyes.

The last time they'd seen each other, Clyde was barely the same height as she was. He was a short and stocky, even a little chubby, man, very different than he was now. He towered over her with broad shoulders and a trim body. His eyes, once a warm brown, where now a crimson red. Deep, dark bags sat under them. Bebe wondered when was the last time he had slept.

"Clyde?" Bebe's mouth gaped. "You're the Dark Lord? You stole The Stick?"

Clyde nodded once. "Yes! Isn't it amazing? I built this all, just me. That fat lard of a king was wrong when he said I was useless." A sharp, short laugh escaped his lips. "I showed him, didn't I?"

Bebe shook her head. This didn't make sense. Clyde was a little dense, not evil. He was kind and caring, not a monster who lead an army of the undead from a tower cloaked in night.

"Why did you bring me here?" She asked slowly.

Clyde took another step, invading her personal space. His smiled never wavered, and she suppress a shiver.

"To make an offer." Clyde put a heavy gloved hand on her shoulder and lead her to the large window overlooking his fortress. That must be where the breeze was coming from.

"An offer?" She echoed.

He tried to slip his arm around her waist, but she shook him off.

He gritted his teeth a moment before turning to the window. "We use to be something, Bebe. People envied us. The human warrior and the half-elf spear maiden. No one could stand a love like ours." He clenched his hand into a fist with a smirk. "There were people who would kill for what we had before you left for training."

Bebe pursed her lips and said nothing. His words held no lies. They had been Kupa Keep's power couple for years. Even the elf-hating wizard king had to admit he liked them together. When she received an invitation to train amongst the warrior women of the East, however, she couldn't pass that up. That was her dream, after all.

He turned toward her, his hand held out. "Let's be that again, Bebe. I need a queen beside me when I take over the land, and there is no one better for me than you." His smile spread across his face again, threatening to split him in two. "You deserve to be queen. You're the most beautiful woman in the world, and so strong and smart. Please, stay by my side and rule with me, Bebe."

Bebe's mouth felt dry. She ran her tongue around the inside, trying to sort her thoughts.

She couldn't abandon her comrades in arms. She took an oath to protect the weak and innocent. Even if she could leave, Bebe could never join the Dark Lord's army. She saw what they had done, the lives they took.

A thought struck her.

The Stick of Truth made Clyde all powerful. If she could get it away from him, then, maybe, she could turn the tide of the war back in her side's favor, or even end it.

She took a breath. "Let me see The Stick first." She ordered.

"What?" Clyde took a step back, unease in his face. "Why?"

"I want to know if you really have it, for one." Bebe rolled her eyes. "And for two I want to see if it's as powerful as the myths say."

"Oh, it is!" Clyde reassured. "Just look what I'm able to do now!" He held his hand out the window, palm facing the horizon. A flash, then a blast of magic ripped from his hands onto the distance.

"You can use magic?" Bebe gasped, staring in shock.

Clyde nodded. "I know, right? Me, a guy who has more dwarven blood in him than wizard, being able to do something so powerful? It's all because of The Stick."

"I still want to see it. Show it to me, babe." She pressed, tacking on the pet name as added incentive.

Clyde pressed his lips into a line, eyeing Bebe up and down. She batted her eyelashes at him. After a moment, he made a ‘follow-me’ gesture with his hand and walked back towards the throne with Bebe on his heels.

Clyde spun around. The armor on his torso catching the small light from the torches around the room.

"I'll let you see it, but you must stay at least ten paces away." He told her. Bebe nodded and took a few steps back.

"Another two." Clyde said, and Bebe obeyed. He reached pull his under shirt from his pants then began to fiddle with the buckle of his belt.

Bebe clenched her jaw. She knew Clyde well enough and prepared herself to snap at him for pulling his penis out and calling it 'The Stick’. No matter how powerful he became, Clyde was still Clyde at heart.. She snapped her mouth shut a moment before she could yell at him.

The Stick's power could be felt even from ten paces away. The power to bend reality and change the basic rules of nature. Grant magic to the magicless. Turn back time and  return the dead to life.

"You...You keep the most powerful magical relic in the universe down your pants?" Bebe's face cringed up in disgust. "By the goddesses, Clyde, what the fuck?"

Clyde smirk slipped into a genuine smile and a soft chuckle came from his lips. He shoved The Stick under his arm and rebuckled his belt.

"It's safe there, isn't it? What man--or woman, for that matter--is going to try and grab my dick midbattle?" Clyde shrugged. He paused a moment, then added, "Well, I think that barbarian the wizard keeps around might not have a problem with it. I've always had this feeling about him."

The rumors Bebe had heard pressed against her teeth. Clyde use to love listening to her gossip, even about people he didn't know. It was how they use to bond. Was that a lure to make her fall into a false sense of security? Possibly. Maybe if she flipped the tables on him, she could use it to her advantage.

"Yeah," Bebe laughed, "I've never asked him directly, but I heard that the paladin has seen Tweek sneaking away from camp with another man late at night. I have seen hickies and love bites on him as well, so there has to be something to the rumor."

Clyde's eyes widened. "Really? Who? I bet it Scott. It was Scott, right? I'm sure I've seen him checking out the knights as he's readied their mounts."

Bebe took a few casual steps forward. "No, I heard it was someone else, and honestly, I could totally see it with him swinging his lance that way, if you know what I mean."

"Who? Who? Do I know him? Think he's checked me out before?" He bounced on his toes, more like a giddy child than an evil warlord. "I know I look good to the ladies, but I've always wondered what guys think about me."

She was only a few steps away from Clyde now. Slipping her hands into her pockets, she gripped the arrow.

"Oh, I'm sure he's eyed you before. How could he not? You're hot, baby," Bebe winked, making him beam with pride, "and he's had ample opportunity, since you two were such good friends."

Bebe watched as the gears turned in his head. Now that she was closer, she could see that the red in his irises faded just a little back to their original brown.

"Oh my gods, it's Craig! I knew it! That's why he can't keep a girlfriend! He doesn't want one! I can't believe he never told me! We’re best friends!" He gasped, covering his mouth with the hand that held The Stick.

Perfect.

Bebe whipped out the arrow and threw it like a dart at Clyde's wrist. His gloves were thicker than she expected, but the arrow did it's job anyway.

Clyde recoiled back. The force knocked The Stick from his hand to his feet. He stumbled back a step, kicking the relic across the floor by mistake.

When he realized what he had done, it was too late. Bebe was already on The Stick.

As her hand reached for it, Clyde screamed, "Bebe, don't touch it!" and threw out his arm. A beam of magic shot from his palm, hitting the top of her hand.

She flinched back with a screech of pain. The cold numbness spreading across her hand did not deter her however. With her other hand, she wrapped her fingers around The Stick.

She heard Clyde yelling, pleading, with her to drop it. She felt the cold wind across her skin and the smooth stone under her knees. She tasted the death in the air and saw the flickering torches.

Then, all of it was gone.

Bebe stood in the middle of a village. She blinked once and looked around to find no one. She carefully walked forward, body tense and ready in case of attack. After a few moments, she relaxed. There was no one here.

As she searched around, she began to notice how strange, yet familiar, the architecture was. Two races built this village, just like the one she grew up in.

At least one of the races was elven, she could tell that. Elves wove nature into their homes. They used trees as supports and vines to hold the buildings together.

Unlike her village, the other race in this one was not human. The other race's architecture was too clumsy and haphazard. Random, large rocks held up sagging buildings. The masonry was ugly at best and down right dangerous at worst.

Bebe froze. She heard something. Careful not to make any noise, she snuck towards the sound. She peeked around the side of a building and gasped.

A child sat curled up against a tree. Sobs shook their little body. In front of them laid two figures, each with an arrow protruding from their bodies. One looked to be an elven woman and the other a large male orc.

Bebe dashed forward towards the child.

"Little one," She crouched down, "are you hurt? What has happened here?"

The child sniffled, but did not lift their head. "It's gone. They're all gone." They whimpered.

Bebe set her hand on the child's straw-colored hair and ruffled it gently. As she did, she noticed a slight point to their ears. The child was probably half elf then.

She looked over her shoulder at the elven woman. As Bebe eyed the body, she realized something odd about her. The elf's hair was as red as the blood from her wound.

That was another oddity to add to this strange place. Only the Elven royalty had hair that red. For a moment, she considered that the woman had a glamour on, but that couldn't be it. Glamours faded upon death.

Continuing to stroke the child's head reassuringly, Bebe turned her attention to the orc. Like all orcs, his face was ugly and misshapen, though perhaps slightly less so than the normal, and his hair was the same golden color as the child's.

"It couldn't be," Bebe muttered to herself. Elves and Orcs hated each other more so than elves and humans. No way one would have a child with the other.

The child sobbed loudly, taking her attention back to them.

"Come on, please, stand up," Bebe bided softly. "I'm going to take you somewhere safe, alright?"

The child paused a moment, then asked, "You're going to help me?"

"Yes, I am, so don't cry." Bebe comforted. She held out her arms. She would carry this child away if she had to.

They seemed to consider her words for a moment before reaching out a thin arm. The second their hand touched her skin, the world burst into flames.

The sky turned black with ash. The smoke made her eyes water and lungs ache. Where there were only two corpses around her before, now were tens. The bodies of elves and orcs and hybrids of the two littered the ground all around. Some died from arrows, others from swords, and some more from magical wounds. Blood from all stained the ground.

A cold, dark laughter over took the sound of the crackling fires. The child's shoulders shook before they threw their head up. Their face contorted into a sneer, purple eyes flashing.

"You're not the heir," they taunted, "but you'll do to help me find them." Their fingernails dug into Bebe's flesh. No matter how hard she pulled, she couldn't break free.

"You and the chubby warrior. With you two, I can get back to where I am supposed to be! I can take my vengeance on those who dare remove me from my proper place! I'll find the heir!" The child cackled, pulling Bebe closer with surprising strength.

"No! Let me go, you hellspawn!" Bebe cried, driving her heels into the ground. "Let me--"

Then it was gone.

Bebe sucked in a breath, her arm recoiling back.

Clyde had torn The Stick from her hand, holding it at arms length away from her with his other hand on her shoulder.

As the shock faded away, Bebe panted. She didn't know what that wase’d and would prefer to never experience it again.

Seeing her staring at him, Clyde dropped The Stick. It clattered to the ground and lay there, as if it were just a normal stick. He turned to fully face her, hands on her cheeks, looking her over with worried-filled brown eyes. He seemed shorter now. The fat around his face and chin had returned.

"Oh gods, Bebe, why did you do that?" Tears rolled down his face. "That thing is dangerous! It wants something, and will use anyone to get it!"

"Clyde?" Bebe blinked. "Clyde, what's going on? What was that?"

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He pulled her into a hug, stroking her hair. "That stupid thing, it corrupts you. It told me it could help me get revenge on the wizard, and I foolishly accepted."

"Let me help you." Bebe pushed back. She placed her hands on his cheeks this time. "If you abandon The Stick, you can come back with me. Let the Elf and Wizard kings destroy that wretched thing."

Clyde shook his head. His tears ran over the tops of Bebe's fingers.

"I can't. I'm too far into this. Please, Bebe, don't take my offer. Don't stay here in this place of death. Fight against me."

"Oh, baby," she muttered, tears pricking her own eyes. She locked eyes with his for a second, before leaning in to press a kiss to his lips.

The tension in his shoulders slacked as he leaned into it. Both their eyes slipped shut.

She'd missed this. She'd missed him. Being strong enough to protect the people she cared about was important to her, but so was Clyde. Hell, he was one of the people she wanted to protect most.

She remembered how he cried like a baby the day she left, but he never told her not to go. He knew what the opportunity meant to her, and he wouldn't stand in the way of that. He loved her enough to let her go.

Clyde was a good, if foolish, man at heart. Seeing him so corrupted by anger and power made her chest ache. He would end up being killed, one way or another. Either by The Stick's evil magic or at the blade of the Dragonborn, there was no future for him if he remained the Dark Lord.

The kiss became more forcefully all of a sudden, stealing her from her thoughts. Her eyes snapped open and were immediately met with Clyde's smug red ones looking back at her.

Bebe gasped and shoved him back. He reached out and grabbed her wounded wrist, holding it too tight. Struggling against his grip, she threw daggers at him with her eyes.

Everything that wasn't 'Clyde' about him had returned in full force.

"I knew you missed me. How could you not?" He jeered. "You still love me."

"No, I don't!" Bebe snapped. "I miss Clyde, I love Clyde, but who you are now isn't Clyde!" In a flash, she threw her free hand back then slapped him across the cheek. “I'll never stand by your side!”

The sound echoed throughout the throne room. Neither of them dare breathe for a heavy moment.

Finally, the surprise wore off Clyde's face. He turned a furious glare to her. He stood, yanking her to her feet, and dragged her to the door. He threw it open and shoved her out into the waiting arms of the ogres.

"I shouldn't have wasted my time with you, bitch." He snarled. "I'll let you go this time, but next time, I won't be so merciful." To the waiting vampire, he spat, "Take this ugly whore back to the tramp camp you found her at. She's useless to me."

Bebe turned, betrayal and anger and worry mingled across her face. After a beat, she settled fully on anger. This wasn't her Clyde anymore, and she would not allow him the satisfaction of knowing the true extent of what his words did to her.

"Fuck you, Clyde." She growled. "You're going to lose this war. The Dragonborn will defeat you. He's a stronger warrior than you can ever be."

Clyde glared at her. "Not when I have The Stick, he's not. He'll be begging for his life at my feet just like the kings, just like their greatest fighters, just like you.”

Bebe didn't reply, instead she began seething down the hall. The ogres froze, unsure what to do, before the vampire snapped at them to follow her.

She expected him to keep goading her or call her names as she stormed away, but instead, he kept quiet and shut the door.

~~~~~

Clyde listened to the fading footsteps until they disappeared into silence. The moment he thought he was alone, the Dark Lord slumped against the door, slid down to the floor, and began to cry into his hands.

~~~~~

"Dear me," Princess Kenny placed her hand to her mouth, "that looks terrible." She put Bebe's hand in her lap, tentatively pressing her fingers against the discolored flesh.

The hand Clyde blasted had turned a sickly green and much of the fat and muscle under the skin melted away, leaving it almost completely skeletal and difficult to move.

"Necrotic magic." The wizard king frowned. "If the Dark Lord can use it unaided like that, we're in deeper shit that I thought."

"Can you fix it?" Bebe asked.

"I can try in the morning," he replied. "At the very least, I can make sure it doesn't rot off." He ran his hand through his hair with an agitated groan. "I must send a raven to the Elf King at once. He'll need to hear of this."

As he left the tent, Bebe heard him muttered under his breath, "Still can't believe the Dark Lord is Clyde fucking Donovan..."

Princess Kenny patted her hand again. "It'll be alright. Eric is a powerful wizard. He'll fix you right up." She smiled, the corners of her eyes wrinkling.

"I suppose." Bebe replied dully. She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I'm tired. This is all too much. Clyde being the Dark Lord. The Stick having a will of its own."

"You said you had a vision of The Stick's wishes. Would you care to tell me about it?" Princess Kenny tilted her head. "Maybe we can figure out what it's intentions are together."

Bebe pursed her lips before retelling what she had seen. The princess' face went from intrigued to horrified to unreadable.

Princess Kenny laced her fingers together before setting her elbows on her knees and resting her face against her hands.

"A village were elves and orcs lived and loved in peace. An impossible concept." She mumbled after a few moments of thought.

"Yes. I would never think such a place could be real." Bebe crossed her arms. "Or even that children of the two could exist."

"Love is persistent. It will always find a way." Princess Kenny smiled softly to herself. "It is the most powerful magic, and anyone can use it."

Bebe nodded in agreement at the princess' wise words.

She remembered Clyde reverting back to his old self. Had his love for her been strong enough to overpower The Stick's corruption? It was a romantic thought that Bebe stored away to entertain later when she wasn’t so tired.

"The child, The Stick, said it was looking for 'the heir.' Do you think it meant the Dragonborn?" Bebe asked. "Could he be able to control The Stick without being corrupted by it?"

"Perhaps." Princess Kenny stood suddenly and clasped her hands behind her back. "That, however, I believe to be a riddle for us to solve tomorrow. For tonight, how about you go take a bath? I will be more than happy to help you wash your back. Help release all the tension in your shoulders." She winked flirtatiously at Bebe, making the other woman laugh.

"I must decline. I think I'd rather sleep. I'll need to report this all to Wendy tomorrow morning when she returned from the Elven camp." Bebe told her.

"Oh, poo." The princess gave a mock pout. "What a pity. Well, remember, my offer is always open to you. Good night, my dear." She giggled then left Bebe's tent.

Bebe blew out her candle then laid down on her cot. She pulled her woolen blanket to her ears and settled in.

The village inside The Stick flashed in her mind, burning and blood covered. The memory of Clyde's hand grasping her wrist played over her skin. His red eyes mockingly burning into her as they kissed was imprinted into her eyelids.

She groaned and squeezed her eyes tight, as if she could force the whirling of emotions and memories to stop with such a simple action.

Of course, nothing could calm her troubled mind, and Bebe spent the rest of her night fluctuated between an unease sleep and nightmares of the future.

~~~~

AN: I do have a squeal written, but I don’t know when I’ll have it finished to post.

[luckygrimreaper]

I have thoughts about New Kid, I'm sorry (Part 9)

This is scene lifted directly from the multichapter im working on. It feels waaaay more romantic than intended. Like a real "fellas is it gay..." kind of moment. So I think I might rewrite the scene in the multichapter but I did like how to original version came out so here it is and if I don't end up changing to scene then enjoy the sneak peek of the multichapter I will hopefully finish.

But yes the premise, The New Kid had to dip before going into the Giggling Donkey so when everything goes wrong the remaining three are tasked to come up with a plan, at least now New Kid is free to help.

Ignoring the drama of it, the game is pretty fun when it’s not taken too seriously. Sometimes Cartman really tries to get him to hate himself for joining, but ultimately he’s having a good time. So far the people in Kupa Keep, (somebody help him for that one,) seem like cool dudes to hang out with. At least he won’t be alone for school, he doesn’t remember much, but he gets the distinct feeling being the new kid in school fucking sucks. Either way, not his problem anymore.

What is his problem, however, is the mess of empty boxes lying around the house. Though Ms. Kepler had been on top of emptying the boxes, it seems she had forgotten the actual taking them out of the house part. So after helping put away what he had bought, while Ms. Kepler works to unpack, Jeremy folds up the empty boxes and puts them in the recycling bin. It’s a tedious process, but it’s not all that bad. Ms. Kepler hooked her laptop up to the tv so music plays throughout the house, meaning there was also no need for conversation. It’s peaceful. But the peace is broken by a frantic knock on the door. Jeremy locks eyes with Ms. Kepler and the two look between each other and the door, ultimately Jeremy decides to be the one to bite the bullet and open it.

Which works out because standing on the other side is Craig. He looks simultaneously worried and annoyed. “Hey, are you free yet?” Never a good question to start with.

Jeremy looks back at Ms. Kepler, she shrugs, “I’m good here unless you want to keep working on boxes.” A tempting offer, however, he’s not feeling inclined to leave Craig in the dust.

Jeremy nods and Craig continues, “They were waiting for us. The Wizard King, Princess, and Paladin got captured. Me, Tweek, and Token managed to get away, but we were outnumbered. We need help.” Welp, time to go be a knight in shining armor Jeremy supposes. He holds up a finger and closes the door, rushing upstairs to get dressed and grab his things. He opens the door and the two rush back to the Giggling Donkey.

Jacks looks between the trio for an explanation. Token starts with, “The King had them separate and while separated they were ambushed. I saw them take the Princess upstairs, the King to the kitchen, and last I saw of Butters, he was in the basement.”

Tweek adds, “We stayed out of sight though, we didn’t want to risk them seeing us and trying to lock us out.”

Jacks considers the three before him before snapping his fingers and pulling out his phone, “Thoughts about a little undercover work, Mr. level 12 thief?”

Craig looks unimpressed at first, but that’s his usual state so Jacks doesn’t back down, after a minor stare down he sighs and shrugs. Jacks perks up and grabs his hand and drags him back down to Jacks’ house. Jacks completely ignoring Craig’s complaints about being dragged around and Ms. Kepler’s teasing comment of, “Back so soon?” In favor of tearing to his bedroom, dropping Craig’s hand only once in the room.

Jacks digs through his closet, pulling out a somewhat ragged green dress and a pink wig, throwing both on the bed before going back to digging in the closet. Finally stepping out with a rope belt with empty bags tied to it and an oversized green hoodie in hand. Jacks tosses the hoodie and rope belt at Craig. Jacks then turns to open his desk drawer, revealing several ear accessories including a pair of glue-on elf ears. He holds it up with a smirk.

Craig stares at the ears, “Isn’t that cheating?”

Jacks shakes his head and does a grand gesture, waving his hands around in a manner he hopes is elegant, as if to ask, “Magic, remember?”

He pauses to consider it then concedes, shrugging; no one ever said mages couldn’t do illusion magic so it’s not cheating. “Guess I’ll change in the bathroom quick,” He says. He doesn’t need to use the bathroom to change himself, but it does give Jacks a chance to change into the dress in privacy. Jacks follows him to the bedroom door just to point out the bathroom and close the door once Craig nods back at Jacks.

Craig waits out in the hall for Jacks to finish, which doesn’t take too long shockingly especially considering Jacks not only got into the dress but also put on the wig, ears, and what Craig thinks might also be some makeup. Jacks smiles at Craig, Jacks doesn’t remember dolling himself up like this, but much like with fighting he found himself moving before he can think and he ended up putting on some eyeliner, lipstick, and blush. He kind of wants to see himself in the mirror, though he doesn’t need to, to know he did it right and looks good. Craig for his part doesn’t say anything about it, which considering how Cartman spoke about Princess Kenny Jacks can only consider himself grateful for.

The two instead just rush back to the Giggling Donkey. Token and Tweek seem surprised by the transformation, but much like Craig neither comment on his appearance. Instead, they focus on planning and Token asks, “What do you want us to do?”

The three look to Jacks, whose idea this was in the first place. He pauses considering, eventually, he pulls out his phone, “You two stay close the door and wait until we wave you in. Hopefully, they’ll fall for it and you won’t need to come in until we need to get the other three out, but be prepared to rush in earlier in case plan a doesn’t work.” Jacks looks at the two and they nod.

“What should we be focusing on?” Craig asks.

Jacks quickly types up, “Focus first on figuring out where the other three are, then we should try to find the bard and where he has the stick. If you see a chance to get away and save one of the other three, do it. Otherwise, stay close until we know what’s going on.” Craig nods and Jacks looks at everyone, “We know what to do?” They’re serious as they voice their agreement. Jacks smiles and the four break apart from the huddle they unconsciously found themselves forming.

Token and Tweek stay back a bit as Jacks and Craig approach the door. The two up front link arms and walk inside, the other two then close the gap and hover one of them on each side of the door, staying out of sight. Eyes are drawn to the pair that walk in, but neither gives any indication of knowing. Craig orders Fairy Ale for the two of them and they take a seat. They converse quietly or rather Craig is talking lowly, mostly cracking various deadpan jokes at Cartman’s expense while Jacks silently cracks up. From their sitting place, Jacks can see where they’re holding Cartman in the kitchen.

Jacks attempts to subtly confirm Cartman’s location, though he’s uncertain how subtle it truly was considering all the eyes on him. It doesn’t help that there’s an awful lot of whispering and Jacks swears he hears someone mention the Bard before another person goes upstairs. But he remains calm and keeps his eyes on Craig, who hasn’t given much indication to have noticed anything, though Jacks doubts that he hasn’t.

Their conversation dwindles as Craig runs out of idle chatter and jokes to make, but thankfully not a moment too soon as the Bard comes downstairs. They turn curiously towards the Bard, both keeping their wariness off their faces. But then the Bard exclaims, “Good people! I hope you’re ready to be enchan- encha- enchaaa- en- enchanted!” He stumbles over enchanted but gives no indication that he realizes that the pair aren’t meant to be here and Jacks relaxes minutely.

The Bard steps closer to the center of the room and begins to perform and Jacks doesn’t fake a smile as he quietly claps along to the beat. It’s a bawdy song, but still a good one. With the attention turning from the pair to the Bard, Craig takes his chance to explore upstairs. Jacks nods at the excuse he makes, careful to pretend as if there’s nothing out of the ordinary, and turns his full attention to the Bard under the guise of just enjoying the music.

Truthfully, while he is enjoying the music, he’s really hoping to catch a glimpse of the stick on the Bard. It wouldn’t be difficult to start a dance and move around the room like that and as long as Craig doesn’t take too long he’d have a willing partner to assist him in some pickpocketing. But that all relies on the Bard having the stick on him.

Alas, the Bard doesn’t turn much, never letting his back face the crowd. Jacks can’t tell if it’s just the mark of a good performer or if it’s because the Bard knows he has something to hide. Frustrating. But he refuses to bow down in defeat and instead stands, inviting a random patron to dance. And he figures he can’t look too bad because the other readily agrees and soon Jacks is making his way around the room, dress swishing behind him as he slips from person to person.

Upstairs Craig has better luck with gaining information. He’s quick to figure out which room the Princess is being kept in and to his luck, there’s only one person in the room guarding her. The most difficult part will be taking out the guard quietly, but he didn’t get to level twelve without having put in any work. While the guard isn’t paying attention, he silently opens the door and slips in, and carefully gets away from the guard’s view. Princess Kenny meets his eyes and then looks away so as to not give Craig away.

He sneaks closer then grabs the guard in a chokehold and pulls him back, whispering, “Sneak attack,” as he ‘stabs’ the guard in the back. They play along and drop loose in his hold and Craig pulls them to the ground from the bed. He hops up in the guard’s steed and cuts Princess Kenny loose. He offers a hand as he quietly asks, “You alright, Princess?”

Kenny accepts his hand and nods, “You were just in time.”

The two step down from the bed and leave the room, Craig quietly relays the plan to Kenny. While Jacks didn’t say exactly what the role of the rescued would be, he figures it would be similar to that of the two left outside, staying back until a fight breaks. She gives him a double thumbs up and ducks back into the room she was imprisoned in, leaving the door cracked. Craig heads back downstairs and rejoins the crowd.

He quickly spots Jacks in the crowd being led around by one of the many that had been in the room earlier. Craig slinks through the crowd towards the pair and taps Jacks’ shoulder. Jacks turns and visibility brightens as he registers who’s standing before him. “May I have this dance?” Craig asks. Jacks nods and turns to the guy he was dancing with before and courtesies at him before accepting Craig’s hand. He lets Craig lead them further from anyone else and doesn’t bat an eye when Craig pulls him closer to whisper, “The Princess is secure upstairs. Only the stick and Paladin remain uncounted for.”

Jacks nods faintly and traces an ‘S’ on Craig’s shoulder, waiting until Craig nods in understanding before glancing at the Bard. All the dances weren’t for naught, for he’s spotted the stick on the Bard. Craig nods again and inclines his head, taking a step towards the Bard. Jacks follows his step and the two step and spin, slowly inching closer to the Bard. It’s a subtle rotation around the Bard before Craig dramatically spins Jacks away, the other drawing all attention to him as Craig slips the stick away from the Bard. He passes it to Jacks who slips it into his dress where no one would dare outright touch. The two then continue their rotation as if nothing had changed.

Then the door to the basement busts open and Butters steps out. Chaos breaks and Jacks plays the part of scared damsel and curls closer to Craig as he pulls them back and closer to the front door. Princess Kenny hearing the commotion jumps down from upstairs joining Butters in battle. When some patrons attempt to block off the door, Jacks slips a firecracker over to it and watches as the barrier goes up in flames. Token and Tweek take the cue to storm the Giggling Donkey while Jacks and Craig slip outside behind them. The door collapsed soon after, locking the two out. The two separate and stare at the rumble, no turning around now. But they still smile when they meet each other’s eye, while chaos may have fallen, they still have the stick. And the two turn from the Giggling Donkey and head to Kupa Keep to wait for everyone else.

[zariyanaskblog-blog]

{So, you all wanted a big post. ATM there is a war happening between the humans and elves due to Kyle (will explain later in this post) Here is the world of Ellesmere and her people. Warning long post ahead!}

Ellesmere:

Ellesmere is mostly forest land with various mountain ranges.

Zariya is where the elves live. It has various mountain regions within in it. The capital of Zariya is located in the center. That is where the kingdom is. The farther out from the kingdom you go the less populated the area becomes. Many of the woodland creatures now live in this area due to the humans destroying woodland areas for their cities and villages. Some of the animals that you’ll see are deer, elk, wolves, rabbits, various birds, mountain lions. There is a magical barrier that protects Zariya from the humans. It is about thirty miles wide. The farther into the barrier the humans get the more their brain becomes fog.

Lithelle is largest human region. Lithelle is flat land that is rich of copper and gold. This is where the metal alchemist will live to make and mold the weapons, armor, and other items for the capital. This is where the werewolf camps are located. There are other experiments that happen here, but no one knows for sure what it is.

Ravaryn is where all the farming villages are located. The soil is rich and never seems to lose their nutrients. Many believe this is where the magical energy radiates from the most.

Kikoro is the fishing ports and small rural villages. It is the poorest of the human colonies.

Findare is a hilly area that is rich of silver. The people of Findare make many of the weapons that the soldiers of the castle will use. They also will make everyday items that are sold in Cantrick.

Cantrick is the second wealthiest place is Ellesmere. All the worlds shops are located there. It is overcrowded and crime is very high. Toward the center of it is where the more rundown and sketchier looking shops are. They say that you can find some of the rarest goods there if you know who to ask.

Alynthi is considered the capital of Ellesmere by the humans. It is where the kingdom of the humans is located. It looks like something out of fairytale. The city is made mostly of metal and brick. In the morning it shine brightly under the rising sun. During that time they call it the pure hour. Toward the center of town is where the castle is located. It is surrounded by giant walls to keep the common people out. The finest alchemy schools are located in Alynthi. The city is always busy with people working, going to school, and selling items. The farther out you travel though you are more likely to see poverty stricken areas.

Ellesmere’s facts:

The elven kingdom has used this magic for healing and medicine, they called it Galena. While the human kingdom has used the magic energy for alchemy; they called it Vitriol.

Alynthins were peaceful people until they were given this energy.

Since the discovery of alchemy, they have been able to advance rapidly. They learned how to sculpt and make things from simple objects around them. By discovering this they were able to explore more of Ellesmere by using mechanical horses that ran at speeds much faster than a regular horse. They were also able to make weapons of war. They used these weapons to capture small kingdoms and villages.

Not a hundred years had passed before they had various colonies throughout the land.

The elven kingdom were peaceful. The Zariyans were afraid of the humans due to the war machines that their alchemy had created. In response to this, their elders created a magical barrier around the kingdom that kept them hidden from the wars. Those who walked close to the kingdom minds were filled with a haze that made them forget what they were doing.

Races

Humans:

Humans have been around since the beginning of time.

They do not possess the magic ability to heal. They can create life, but not help it.

Even though there are various colonies, all humans are called Alynthians.

They are a monarchy.

They are a monotheistic religion.

Their god is called Tersele and they are the one who gave them magic. 

They don’t believe that the Earth gave them their magical abilities.

Everyone is born with the ability to use alchemy, but as they get older some people will lose it.

Everyone in the royal family are highly skilled in all three types of alchemy. They just don’t rely on it much and they don’t lose their powers

At the age of 10 is when they begin alchemy school.

At the school they learn three types of alchemy: Combat Alchemy Creation Alchemy Metalist Alchemy

Elves:

The history of the elves origin is unknown. Many of the elders believe that they once came from the human race, but the magical energy changed their makeup and caused them to use the magic differently.

They cannot do alchemy. Many have tried, but they just do not possess that type of magic.

Not many people though can use galena now. Only a rare few can. Those who can have the elders teach them about the healing and medicine they can do.

They start school as early as 5

They are a monarchy.

They are a monotheistic:

The Goddess of the Forest: Fersety

She watches over the wildlife and protects them during the hunt

Believes that she gives them galena

They have a ceremony that everyone must go through when they become of age. In this ceremony the elf gets their markings. The person wears the ceremonial white robe. It symbolizes the purity that they person posses from childhood. They then are submerged into water and when they rise it symbolizes the rebirth into adulthood. When galena is used their markings light up. How the ceremony is conducted varies depending on your status.

Royal family:

You are in a sacred room that is filled with water that has been blessed by the elders. The elders chant for the Goddess to bless them as they receive their marking. During this they might experience visions of both the past and future.

People of nobility:

The person does it in a pool at their local temple. The water has been blessed by the elders, but it is their religious leaders that chant while they are submerged. They will get visions, but they are not as powerful since it is not the elders chanting.

Commoners:

The person does it in the local ponds and lakes with the religious leaders of their village. Since the water is not blessed, they are less likely to see visions. 

Werewolves:

Were created fifty years ago by Cartman’s grandfather.

Only humans can become werewolves.

They have increase in speed, smell, strength, and hearing

They are all under Cartman’s control

Many die during the bonding of the wolf

Werewolves can imprint on people

When a werewolf imprints the following happens:

They can smell their scent

They go feral if anything were to happen to them

They obey what they are commanded by their person (if they aren’t a fellow werewolf)

Characters:

Kyle:

Is the princess of the elven people

Can use both galena and vitriol

Is in a relationship with Stan

Was engaged to Cartman

She broke off the engagement when she discovered that he was going to use her people to mine shards that would control others

Stan:

Is from Kikoro

Is a werewolf

Is the leader of his clan

Has imprinted on Kyle

Watched over Karen before her death

Kenny:

Is from Kikoro

Is also a werewolf

Is the adopted princess of Alynthi

Was forced to be Cartman’s bodyguard

Has imprinted on Butters

Her goal is to stop Cartman and make him pay for Karen’s death

Butters:

Is from Ravaryn

Is Kenny’s guard

Snuck into the kingdom and almost got killed when they took Kenny away

Kenny is the one that gave him the scar over his eye

His parents gave him to the camps at a very early age 

Wendyl:

Is Kyle’s advisor

discovered Cartman’s plot first

Cares deeply for Kyle

Bebe has imprinted on them

Craig:

Is from Kikoro

Is a werewolf

Has imprinted on Tweek

The scar on his face is from fighting a guard

Is Stan’s second in command

Tweek:

Is from Kikoro

Is a werewolf

Has imprinted on Craig

Hates going into his wolf form because he doesn’t have a lot of control

Bebe:

Is from Kikoro

Is a werewolf

Imprinted on Wendyl

Hated Kyle at first, bit her arm because of it

Clyde:

Is from Kikoro

Is a werewolf

He is the cook of the group

Cartman

The prince of Alynthni

Has a purple eye due to an exposure of raw vitriol

The eye has the vitriol contained in it.

Due to having raw vitriol in him, people could not hang around him because it would poison them

Kyle is the only living being that can be around him and not die

He fell in love with Kyle when they were younger

Is very jealous of Stan

He wants to take the other country, but doesn’t want bloodshed

He created a necklace that would control the people, but they would completely lose their freewill

When Kyle left him and broke off the engagement, he sent his army to attack the elven kingdom which started the war that we are at now.

{Here is everything!}

[sincerelycreek]

it’s cold outside but warm with you

Summary: It’s too cold outside for Tweek to wander home, and Craig wasn’t going to allow him to leave. Warnings: mean parents ig?? and terrible writing A/N: i know the song isn’t based off christmas day but whatever

❛❛i really can’t stay - ❜❜ ❛❛but baby, it’s cold outside.❜❜ ❛❛i’ve got to go away - ❜❜ ❛❛but baby, it’s cold outside.❜❜ ❛❛this evening has been -.❜❜ ❛❛been hoping you’d drop in.❜❜ ❛❛so very nice.❜❜ ❛❛i’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice.❜❜

There were so many parts to Christmas. There was eating a large meal after thanking the God you believed in, spending time with your family, and waking up early on Christmas morning to see beautifully wrapped presidents under an even prettier decorated tree. That’s, for the most part, how Tweek and Craig’s day went. After Craig, plus Tweek, and his family finished eating a large dinner, Craig’s family left to visit their parents. Even though Tricia begged to stay home, they dragged her along, to give the two high school boys their privacy.

After swapping their presents for one another, they laid back on the couch together and were watching Elf. Craig laid back, and Tweek was over him, with his ear pressed to his boyfriend’s chest and listening to the beat of his heart. Craig felt warm, like a heater underneath the pressure of Tweek and the blanket. Tweek took advantage of that, digging himself closer, and pressing his ice like hands and feet to Craig’s warm skin. He was surprised that the other hadn’t flinched at the hot skin to cold skin contact.

They were silent, the movie being watched yet ignored, as the couple enjoyed each other’s company. The pair were usually always together, attached to the hip since fourth grade, but this was a special holiday to them both.

One the movie ended, and the childish winter credits started rolling, Craig felt Tweek began moving out of the heavy arm Craig had around him. His eyes flickered to him in confusion as he moved the blanket off the two of them. “Where are you going? It’s snowing like crazy out there,” he spoke, his voice nasally but almost worried like.

“Home,” Tweek answered like it was plain simple. He sat up on the couch, grabbing his boots on the floor and slipping them on before lacing them up, a sudden twitch taking over as he tried to tie a perfect knot with his hands starting to shake from the focus.

“Babe, no,” Craig practically groaned. He sat up two, before leaning heavily on Tweek’s side to keep him from getting up and getting his jacket. He was ready to hang on Tweek with all of his body weight and keep him from walking out the door. “Don’t leave. It’s cold.”

“Honey,” Tweek mocked, copying Craig’s tone. “I have to go home. I don’t live that far, and you know I don’t get cold that easy.”

Before Craig could respond,Tweek was quick to pull away. Unexpecting it, Craig almost fell face forward on the couch. Tweek smiled to himself at the sight, picking his jacket off the arm of the couch. “Thank you, for dinner.”

When Tweek leaned down to give Craig a goodbye kiss, Craig dodged it and grabbed Tweek by his unzipped jacket before pulling him down on top of him once more. Tweek, now the surprised one, let out a squeak as he fell. “You’re cold now,” Craig murmured under his breath in argument, when Tweek protested and tried to squirm out of the tight grip. “I’ll hold you.”

“You’re so stupid.”

❛❛my mother will start to worry - ❜❜ ❛❛beautiful, what’s your hurry?❜❜ ❛❛father will be pacing the floor - ❜❜ ❛❛listen to the fireplace roar.❜❜ ❛❛so really, i’d better scurry -.❜❜ ❛❛beautiful, please don’t hurry.❜❜ ❛❛maybe just half a drink more - ❜❜ ❛❛put some records on while i pour.❜❜

After twenty minutes, of Craig and Tweek back in their position from before with Tweek still wearing his boots and jacket, Tweek rolled his eyes and began to protest against being held once more. “You know how my mom and dad are, man,” he argued, with a well point. Tweek didn’t love his parents, not a lot for how they treated him as a kid, but they’d still be worried if he wasn’t home in the time they gave him.

Craig didn’t tear his gaze away from Tweek’s hazel eyes. He felt warmer than before, as it was finally quiet, and he could really hear the crackle of the fireplace that was the reason for their warmth of the house. “You don’t have to leave, not now,” he offered.

Tweek still hadn’t look convinced about staying for awhile longer, anxious by the idea of his parents upset still lingering in the back of his head, so Craig tried something else. “What about a drink? Dad still keeps it locked away poorly.”

That had certainly caught Tweek’s attention. He drummed his fingers against Craig’s chest to the beat of his heart pumping, thinking in silence before nodding in agreement. “Half,” he finally said. “If I show up to dinner - ngh - hiccuping, mom and dad will kill me.”

Nodding back, Craig eased Tweek off his chest and sat up, eager to get a drink even if it was small and keep Tweek there as long as he could. It wasn’t just the fact that it was snowing heavily, and Tweek who insisted on walking could get cold, but it was the meaning of seeing his love longer on a special holiday about spending time with the ones you love. “Take off your jacket and put on some music, babe.”

“You hate holiday music,” Tweek argued, watching as Craig walked off to what he assumed to be where his father hid their alcohol. He didn’t miss how Craig smiled over his shoulder, and couldn’t help but smile back fondly.

❛❛the neighbors might think - ❜❜ ❛❛baby, it’s bad out there.❜❜ ❛❛say, what’s in this drink?❜❜ ❛❛no cabs to be had out there.❜❜ ❛❛i wish i knew how -.❜❜ ❛❛your eyes are like starlight now.❜❜ ❛❛to break this spell - ❜❜ ❛❛i’ll take your hat, you hair looks swell.❜❜

With the soft holiday music Tweek chose on the radio playing in the background, they were back to sitting on the couch. Instead of laying on top of Craig, Tweek had his head lolled onto the other’s shoulder in comfort. He wasn’t drunk, not even tipsy, but he felt nice. Better than he has in a long time. Tweek wasn’t even the slightest bit anxious, as he usually felt with Craig. “I need to go,” he finally whispered. “But I don’t want to.”

“Hm,” Craig hummed in agreement. “You shouldn’t. It’s going to get worse out there.” He nudged Tweek until he picked his head up, this time, looking at each other.

Craig saw his eyes in an entirely different light now, maybe it was the drink they shared but if it was possible, they looked even better. It was as if the fire somehow was illuminating them, making them shine brighter and making Craig’s heart skip a beat in his chest. “Fuck. I love your eyes, honey.”

Tweek couldn’t bite the smile back, nor fight the tinted red that crept up his neck and nestled into his cheeks. “You’re such a loser,” he teased, despite the fluttering in his chest. “I love you, so much. How do I get out of that?” He asked, still joking, as he cupped the side of Craig’s face and leaned in to kiss him.

It lasted for a second, before Craig pulled back, but not far. His breath was still hot on Tweek’s mouth. “You don’t,” he spoke honestly. “Want to take your jacket off now? Please?”

❛❛i ought to say no, no, no - ❜❜ ❛❛mind if i move in closer?❜❜ ❛❛at least i’m gonna say that i tried - ❜❜ ❛❛what’s the sense in hurting my pride?❜❜ ❛❛i really can’t stay -.❜❜ ❛❛baby, don’t hold out.❜❜

Hesitantly, Tweek brought his hand up to play with the zipper of the jacket he already zipped up. He should flat out say no and leave, he knew that. His parents were already probably upset with him, but Tweek wasn’t ready to leave. Not yet.

Craig hadn’t bothered asking, leaning closer and closing the gap between them as he kissed Tweek again. “Please?” He asked again, softer and more affectionate. “I want to be with you longer.”

Well, when he puts it like that.

Tweek slowly caved. He started unzipping his jacket, believing that he tried and his parents would have to try and understand. He’d rather be with Craig, honestly. On a holiday that was about spending time with the people you love, it made more sense to stay. He’d feel a longing at home anyways, so let his parents be mad. Tweek shrugged off the rest of his jacket and threw it carelessly.

The jacket was thrown away along with all of Tweek’s morals. It was such a nice feeling, not to care, for once, all for Craig. He picked up his cup that still had some in the bottom and finished it off, before curling up next to Craig again.

“How can you do this to me?” Tweek whispered, his voice almost muffled from being buried in Craig’s Nasa shirt. Craig hummed in confusion, asking for more of an explanation. “How do you have this much effect on me? How do I stay so calm with you?”

Tweek felt Craig lean down and kiss the top of his head. “Because you love me, baby. And I’ll keep you safe.”

❛❛there’s bound to be talk tomorrow - ❜❜ ❛❛think of my lifelong sorrow.❜❜ ❛❛at least there will be plenty implied - ❜❜ ❛❛if you caught pneumonia and died.❜❜ ❛❛i really can’t stay - ❜❜ ❛❛get over that hold out.❜❜

“You know, my parents are going to be pissed at me,” Tweek announced after a beat of silence. “That I-I missed dinner and all.”

“Sucks for them,” Craig retorted. Tweek felt his hand lift and run through the soft knots of his blonde hair. Tweek was warmer than Craig, the heat keeping him warmer than any heater in the house ever had. Maybe it was the coffee, or maybe Tweek was happy. Actually, there was no maybe. Craig knew Tweek was. He was too.

Tweek grinned to himself. Craig was right. It did suck for them. Tweek left his phone in his jacket’s pocket, for all he knew it was dead, so if they were trying to get ahold of them - which he doubted - it wasn’t easy. He wouldn’t leave now even if they somehow managed to get ahold of him. They probably had the table set, complete with coffee, but Tweek was the one who was in a winning position because he was with someone who made his heart full of adoration.

“Can you imagine if you actually went out?” Craig asked, his voice still nasal but more monotone than normal. “What if you.. Like.. Got really cold?” He continued, pausing in between words as if he was thinking them through.

“You sound like me,” Tweek responded, slightly mumbling in reply, but not annoyed. “I wouldn’t have died. I’m not always cold.”

“You were earlier,” Craig pointed out. “Your hands were like fucking ice.” He craned his neck to look at Tweek to continue speaking. “What if you left then, and you like, froze to death?”

Tweek hummed, thinking about it. If this was a conversation under any other circumstance, such as at school or not on a calming holiday, he would have started panicking about what could have been. If the snow and wind outside was really enough to make him cold enough to die in on the way home. “Do you really think it’s that cold?” Tweek asked, much more curious than he was anxious.

“Fine, do you want to know? Put on your jacket. Let’s go.”

❛❛baby, it’s cold outside.❜❜

“Fucking.. Forget it.” Tweek stood on Craig’s porch steps, his hands were gloveless and tucked under his armpits, crossed over his chest. Craig was having more fun, rolling snow that has already fallen into a ball with a smile. He wasn’t one to swear, especially on a day about love, but Craig really did have a different effect on him. “Let’s go back inside before we both d-die.”

Tweek watched as Craig lifted his hand, a perfect sculpted sphere being shown in his palm. “If you fucking do it, I’ll - “ Tweek started, warning Craig, who didn’t hesitate in interrupting him and throwing the snowball. Everyone could think Craig was this tough asshole, but Tweek knew his boyfriend was really a dork that pressed his buttons well.

The snow Craig threw, with well aim, hit Tweek in the cheek. He squeaked and stumbled back, the cold leaving a sting on his cheek. He looked up and glared, despite thinking Craig looked very cute standing in the middle of snow falling over him, with a stupid smile. “Fine, you want to see how cold it is?!” Tweek exclaimed, stomping down the porch steps and feeling the snow crunch beneath his feet.

Without hesitating, Tweek raced through the bundles of snow. He used all his body weight to slam into Craig, knocking them both down, with a surprised shout onto the soft pillow of snow beneath them. Tweek couldn’t help but start laughing.

Unexpectedly, Craig began laughing too. “Get off!” He exclaimed, loudly and happily in between his laughs. “You’re right! It’s freezing! I give up!”

“We’ll go back inside,” Tweek promised. “In a second.”

It was absolutely freezing outside. The cold seeped through their winter clothing, and the snow melted against Tweek bear hands, making them red, and having him curl his fingers inward into the sleeves of his jacket.

However, the chill of winter didn’t matter. Tweek had leaned down and pressed his mouth to Craig’s in a kiss full of warmth. It sent heat down both of them; but not in a sexual way. It was as if their souls warmed against each other despite the nipping cold biting at the both of them.

They did go back inside after that. After the cold really began to settle in and took over the warm adoration love. And no, Tweek didn’t go home that night. He sent his parents a simple message that he wasn’t, and chose to spend Christmas night curled into the side of Craig’s chest underneath a blanket, warm and happy.

[impossible-rat-babies]

So I figured I would do a quick thing to, I guess, clarify my Lavellan kiddos so people know about them. A majority of this is going to be under the cut since it’s going to be long.

Darva Lavellan

He began back when I first played on the xbox 360 and the only one of my quizzy’s I made on the xbox 360. I did start to play the game on my cruddy laptop, but then gave up and enlisted a friend. I already knew something about the game at the time--mainly Dorian--so I only went into the game knowing I wanted to romance Dorian. I was also neck deep in a dnd campaign at the time, so I made him a rogue. I do have like two surviving phone photos of how he first looked:

(gosh this is so strange to look at). Very first playthrough folks. I didn’t give him eyebrows because I thought they looked strange with his tattoos. I know that when I got to Skyhold that I decided he was going to be trans; I think I also decided he was going to bisexual too. I remember almost finishing up his playthrough when I bought myself a xbox one to play on. I imported him to my xbox one and I did a little editing on him to make him look like how he did before. Still no eyebrows. I finished the game and Trespasser and then moved onto my human warrior Millianna. I think at this time Dragon Age Origins came up on backwards compatibility, so I decided to play it. I ended up remaking Darva so I could play with a custom world state. I made him completely with scratch with only two photos to work off, so he came out a little different. From there, I’ve modified him a little with each playthrough to reflect his backstory and such; I changed his nose to reflect having a high nose bridge and his eyes have gotten a little bigger to align with the canon of how elves look in da2. He’s always had that haircut and green eyes however. I wanna say I remember making him another time since I had modified my world state again. But for the most part he’s stayed pretty babyfaced.

His personality was one that I built originally off of the sarcastic dialogue from the game and changed as I gathered more of who he was as I kept playing and building his backstory. He’s still partially built off of those dialogue choices, but he’s much more polarizing against the Chantry than when I first played him. I remember when I got to the final fight with Corphyeus, I had the dialgoue option to say that: “The Maker is with me.” I don’t get that option anymore.

Livonah Lavellan

I remember making Livonah in a sketch in my notes at the same time I made Millianna. I went with Millianna and then came back to Livonah. I’ve probably struggled the most with getting her how I want her to be. I always knew I wanted her to have dark skin, blonde hair and blue eyes; I also knew I wanted her to romance Blackwall. She was originally a mage since I hadn't played one yet. I hated it at the time since I was fresh off a playthrough of a warrior; so I made her as a warrior:

I didn’t get very far before I didn't like how her face had turned out from what I saw in my head. I ended up remaking her as a warrior with a different pre-set and a few differences:

I got much further in this one, all the way to Skyhold, before I didn't like playing as a warrior. I liked her face and this look, but the class bothered me to no end. I also think I was trying to make her look more like her sister Ashby since she had just been a character my friend and I had decided to play. I thought I could make her as just a rogue and I remade her in the same thread:

I returned to the darkest skin tone like she had originally been along with the short hair. I was settled on this for a long time and I got all the way to right before the Temple of Mythal before I went to playing other characters. I later decided to go back to her first origins and remade her as a mage which is on the top image. 

Personality wise I always wanted her to be a bit outgoing and more of a contrast to Darva’s more quiet and sarcastic nature. I always made her with the intention of her and Darva being very close to each other and that relationship evolved as I built more of a backstory for her, Darva and Fisk.

Ashby Lavellan

My friend was over with me and she wanted to make a Lavellan to romance Bull because he’s by far her favorite character. I think we also wanted her to have the Elgar’nan tattoos and darker skin. By the time we made her, I just had Fisk, Livonah and Fisk set as like my three kiddos. We ended up changing things up a little to include Ashby as Livonah’s sister with only a small modification to backstory stuff. My friend also challenged me to not make a single sarcastic choice since I had a very large sarcastic streak at the time. Her ending up as a rogue was push back against her wanting me to play with no sarcastic choices. I think she’s only ever had a haircut change and maybe a few nose tweeks. Beyond that, she’s been messed with the least since we got what we wanted when we first made her.

I ended up calling her a Disney princess because of how pretty she is and how she was like the nicest person ever. She oddly enough ended up a lot like my friend in regards to her being very cute, kind and bubbly.

Fisk Lavellan

I don’t remember much about making Fisk, but ze has gone through the least amount of physical changes in comparison to everyone else. Ze has always had the dark brown hair with the buzz cut, but zir eye color changed to reflect the similarities between zemself and zir sister Tistle. I also modified zir nose a little to reflect the look of the elves in da2. I also made zir tattoos the more complex ones since when I originally played zem, I had zem get more tattoos between the main game and Trespasser. I was still experimenting with different sorts of choices to make in the game and I think when originally played, I actually completed Champions of the Just.

Zir backstory and personality has changed the most. I knew I wanted to romance Cassandra and I went through the whole game thinking ze was cisgender. It wasn't until I picked up playing zem that I said fuck it and made zem genderfluid and picked the ze/zem/zir pronouns for zem. It was at this time I went with the red lipstick and heavier eye make up because I could.

I always did make zem much older than the other kiddos with the intention of making zem as like someone to watch over them. That part is still there, but ze is more lax than I think I originally played.

Tistle Lavellan

Tistle was made because I wanted a tiny elf with a big sword. There was no real motivation beyond that when I first created her. I later decided to connect her to Fisk and have her as zir younger half sister. (This is when I made a few changes to Fisk’s appearance). I think I was also experimenting with character creator in how I went with red hair and those tattoos in a skin tone color. I also decided to make her relatively young--18 years old--and for her to have no romance and be sex and touch repulsed. (aka me dumping my own traits into her).

Note: Speaking as a white person who is still unlearning a lot of gross shit, I never made Fisk, Livonah, Ashby, or Tistle with the intention of tokenism or having them as props for Darva’s story. I went into creating them as character’s in their own right who could stand on their own. Now I know as I create them I have to be mindful of harmful tropes and other general gross stuff that comes with white people making POC characters. I don’t have them developed as much as I would like to have them, but I’m working towards making them more complex than tropes or stereotypes. 

[ladybanshee19]

South Park AUs

So I feel like making several South Park AUs, each one based in a different tabletop RPGs. The first one is based in Dungeons and Dragons, 5th Edition in the Forgotten Realms campaign setting. The second one is based in Pathfinder, in the official campaign setting. The third one is based in the Chronicles of Darkness aka the New World of Darkness 2nd Edition. And the fourth and final one is based on Princess the Hopeful, a fanmade mod for Chronicles of Darkness. All four of them will include a story, designs and character sheets (and I’m putting them at the maximum level 20 simply because I can). This post will just give you an idea of what to expect from each AU. I’ll make individual posts going into more detail on each one. Also worth noting is that all four of these AUs will feature both Creek (Craig and Tweek) and Style (Stan and Kyle) my two South Park OTPs.

An Ancient Rivalry DnD 5e Forgotten Realms AU The human city-state of Kupa Keep is in a crisis. Its ruler, Grand Wizard Eric Cartman, is more interested in setting a petty grudge with the wood elf tribe of Larnion than he is in actually doing his job. The people are suffering, leaving a party consisting of: the barbarian warrior Tweek Tweak, his rogue boyfriend Craig Tucker and their friends, Token Black, a cleric of Lathander and Clyde Donovan, who recently obtained power as a warlock from a demon out of desperation, to save the city from its tyrannical, sociopathic ruler, with the help of Butters the Merciful, a paladin of Ilmater and the mysterious Princess Kenny. Meanwhile, the leader of the Larnion tribe, Sylvan Lord Kyle Broflovski and his human vassal, the ranger Stan Marshwalker, must contend with protecting their home and people from the Grand Wizard, as several secrets from the past begin to surface once again.

Note: This particular AU is inspired by the boys’ Fighters of Zaron LARP game from SOT but takes its own direction to better fit into the setting of the Forgotten realms

Come Hell or High Water Pathfinder AU Trouble always seems to find you, wherever you are in the world of Golarion. In the elvan kingdom of Kyonin, elf druid Kyle’s hope for a normal life is shattered when a human oracle named Tweek from Andoran tells him he’s destined to stop a great evil. In the nation of Cheliax, a country infamous for its mandatory devil worship among other things, a wizard noble Eric Cartman has dreams of glory, a desire to rule over all of Golarion with Cheliax as its capital. To do this, he seeks out the darkest and most dangerous of Golarion’s secrets. Tweek tells Kyle that this is the evil he must stop. Fortunately, he’s not alone. In addition to Tweek, Kyle also finds help in other residents of Andoran: the ranger, Stan, the magus Kenny, the sorcerer Craig, the barbarian Clyde, the bard Jimmy, the paladin Butters and Token, a cleric of the goddess Sarenrae. With these companions at his side, Kyle must venture forth to stop the Chelish wizard from unleashing Golarion’s greatest evils again, while not letting his growing sense of self-righteousness consume his heart at the expense of everything else.

Note: This AU is also slightly inspired by the LARP game from SOT as well, but with a few more changes as well as some influence from Phone Destroyer, specifically Craig and Clyde’s classes. Tweek’s class was also inspired by a post I saw floating around about how Tweek could be a seer with how often his paranoia turns out to be justified (can’t remember where I found it, sorry).

The South Park Chronicle The World of Darkness is full of many things, and nothing is as it seems. I, your humble Storyteller, will guide you though the many chapters of this chronicle. Here, you will meet Stan Marsh, recently Embraced as one of the Kindred, a vampire who must not only work to maintain the delicate balance between his fading humanity and the Beast within him that drives him to kill and feed, but also to maintain the Masquerade, to keep the secrets of vampires hidden from mortals. You will meet Tweek Tweak, who recently discovered that he is one of the Forsaken, a werewolf who must work to protect the mortal realm from both vengeful spirits and the Pure, werewolves who wish to return humanity to the Stone Age in order to reunite the spirit world and the mortal world. You will meet Craig Tucker, who awakened as a Mage which grants him the power to protect the Sleepers from the Seers of the Throne and other magical threats, so long as he can keep his pride in check. You will meet Butters Stotch, a Promethean created from a corpse and Azoth the Divine Fire who must now embark on a journey to become human, which sadly is easier said than done when existence itself hates you. You will meet Kyle Broflovski, who was whisked away by the True Fae to their home realm of Arcadia and remade to serve one of them but managed to return to the real world to discover that the world didn’t miss him in his absence and that some of the True Fae’s changes were permanent. You will meet Kenny McCormick who died protecting his beloved sister Karen only for a Geist who calls itself Mysterion to offer him a chance to cheat death and return as a Sin-Eater, where he discovers he must use his newfound abilities to protect mortals and help ghosts who are unable to pass on, even though he’d rather look for his sister who went missing after he died and came back. Finally, you will meet Eric Cartman, who discovered in a dream that he was a monster at heart in more ways than one, a Beast who must sow nightmares among mortals to sate his soul’s unique hunger, a duty he’s all to willing to embrace. You will also see their paths cross, bonds form and watch as they struggle to make it in the World of Darkness.

Note: This one won’t be out for a long time. I’m still trying to get my hands on a few other source books, some of which aren’t even out yet at the time of this post (sidelong glance at Changeling the Lost and Geist the Sin-Eaters).

Nobles Unite Princess the Hopeful AU Darkness is everywhere and only the Nobility can stop it. The Nobility in this case, meaning Princes and Princesses, men and women armed with the power of the Light and the magic in their very beings. Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick, Craig Tucker, Clyde Donovan, Tweek Tweak, Token Black, Jimmy Valmer, Butters Stotch, Wendy Testaburger, Bebe Stevens, Heidi Turner, Nicole Daniels and Annie Knitts all discover that they possess this power and pledge their allegiance to the Radiant Queens, the Queens of Clubs, Diamonds, Hearts, Spades and Swords so that they may help them in their mission to fight the Darkness and its minions. However, another Blossoms and discovers this power as well, Eric Cartman who instead pledges his allegiance to the Queen of Mirrors, one of the three Twilight Queens, who tells him that he’s the True Heir, destined to restore the Kingdom to its former glory, a “mission” that brings him into conflict with other Nobles and other devotees of Mirrors who were told the exact same thing.

Note: Given that Princess has a rather idealistic setting, especially by World of Darkness standards and compared to the canon South Park universe, I figured this would be an interesting challenge.

That’s all for now. Stay tuned for more coming soon. Character sheets and pictures will be posted here. The stories will be posted on Archive of our Own.