#tw: traffic accident

[furiousgoldfish]

I'm not sure if I'm going to publish this, because the story is traumatic, and even though I found a resolution, it could still cause pain to read this. Trigger is animal death, emotional abuse, and death and grieving in general. If this is something you can't think about, please skip this post.

I need to preface the story with a bit of a background.

As a kid, I lived in a rural area, surrounded by animals, and sometimes I would pick a favourite, and this animal would die. I'm not sure if my parents were killing these specific animals on purpose because they noticed I was spending time with them, but the animal that I would be close to, would die first every time, or be mysteriously lost. One time, one small baby animal got sick, and I was going insane trying to nurse it to health. Made a little blanket nest where I kept it, constantly tried to clean and feed it and keep it warm, and after a few days I just found it dead.

I couldn't handle it. I had bonded with the small animal, I thought I was not going to be alone anymore because this tiny creature was going to be my friend and we'll be going trough life together, and we're going to have each other, and now it was dead, and I deeply felt it was my fault. Because I didn't know how to nurse it back to health, nobody helped me, nobody else cared, and I thought I was cursed and that I kill any animal I come into contact with.

I didn't have a way to process or grieve this, so I dissociated and tried to erase the entire thing from my memory. I pretended it didn't happen. I couldn't be aware of it because it was too much. I already had so much trauma repressed, I couldn't handle anymore. So I acted like everything was fine and distracted myself with whatever, and you know what happened? My parents noticed that my animal was dead, and that I was acting fine. And they came after me. They made fun of me for 'seemingly being obsessed with the animal and clearly I don't even care anymore now it's dead'. I remember freezing in shock and horror when I heard this. They came after me to guilt me for not caring anymore for the dead baby animal. When it was, to me, very clear that it's something I'm not allowed to think about, because it was impossible to deal with. And their words worked. I felt even more guilty for acting like I didn't care. I felt frozen both in shock and shame for my behaviour, even though I would have done everything to keep the animal alive, to stop this from happening.

After that, I never got close to an animal again. Any animal closeness would trigger me back to this event, forcing me to remember my dead friend and how after spending the day in shock and deep dissociation I was told I didn't care. I didn't want any more animals to die because of me. I stopped eating animals. I did everything in my power to protect and keep animals safe. Including never getting close to one because my presence would surely kill them.

This was just the backstory, so you understand where I'm coming from when the next thing happened. And I also want to say, despite how rocky and painful this situation was, I think I handled it okay.

*

It was a normal day, I was going to work. I was biking next to a highway, when I noticed something that chilled me to the bone. There was a baby kitten, in the highway, trying to survive among the cars. I stopped in shock and horror, and the next event took only seconds to transpire. The kitten managed to get to the edge of the highway, close to where I was, and the thoughts in my head were 'I need to get it away from here, quickly! I need to put it somewhere safe!' but I realized if I advanced I might scare it, so I stood frozen in place to not pose a threat, but it was already too late. I had no time to do anything. The kitten looked up. Noticed me. Got terrified. Ran into traffic. Was dead in a second.

I didn't even have time to cry out.

I walked away frozen in shock. I kept muttering to myself 'I would have saved it. I was going to save it.' all the way to work. I kept repeating the event over and over, trying to figure out what I could have done. But there was nothing. Even if I had turned away and tried to remove myself from there, it would have been too late. The kitten would have noticed me anyway, and ran back into traffic anyway. The only way that kitten might have been saved, was if I wasn't there at all. If I didn't exist that day, on that highway, then they might be still alive. But I couldn't have known that. I didn't know me going to work that day would end in someone's death. If I had, I wouldn't have gone to work. I would have gone a different way. I couldn't have known.

The thoughts of 'world would have been better if you weren't alive' kept spiraling in my head, I tried to dissociate and forget this happened, like I tried when I was a kid, but it didn't work, I kept having flashbacks, I kept seeing the death play over and over in my head. That kitten looked rugged and abandoned. It looked neglected. It was all alone in a highway. There was no other cat or kitten nearby. And I knew how that felt. I could imagine myself so easily being abandoned, neglected, and left in a highway to die. And my role in that kitten's life was the one that caused the death. I couldn't forgive myself. Even if I didn't do anything on purpose, I was there, and the kitten died, and then I walked away dissociated and shocked, and there was nothing I could do anymore. It was too late.

I managed to do my job in this triggered and dissociated state, and by the time I was done with work, I had started to calm down and think about what I could actually do about this. Because I cared about this a lot, and all I did was walk away; not out of malice, but out of shock and despair. It felt wrong. And I understood what I needed to do to make this better. I had to go to the place of death, and say I'm sorry. I needed to act humane about this. And when you cause someone's death, even accidentally, you express regreat and grief, you say sorry.

I took off from work, and the second I realized what I was about to do, I burst into tears. I was sobbing and repeating 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry' in my head the entire way. When I got there, the remains of the animal were still in the same place, even though completely unrecognizable. I stood by the edge of the highway and cried. I said how sorry I was, how I didn't mean to scare it. How I wished I could take it back, turn back time and make sure this didn't happen. How the kitten did not deserve this. I stood there crying and holding a hand over my heart, even though it looked insane. I cried all the way back home, shaking. And when I got back home, I was able to breathe again. And I felt slightly better.

I realized that this was my first, normal expression of grief and regret. It came delayed, because I was dissociated and flashbacking most of the day, but when I realized I just needed to deal with the situation in a humane way, that helped me feel human again. If you cast harm it's normal to express regret and grief, instead of dissociating and drowning in shame and suicidal thoughts. I still ended up crying later that day, but it wasn't a trumatic type of grief, it was just normal grief. It helped me feel normal.

The next day, I had to go past the same place, and the remains of the kitten were still there, and I couldn't help looking at them, feeling guilty again. I didn't know how to deal with that either, do I try to not look? Do I try to forget, because I couldn't do anything else but apologize, and I had already done that?

It took me a few days to figure it out. And then as I was thinking about it one day, it clicked. I needed to collect the remains and bury them. I was the only person who saw what happened, and who cared. I was tortured by the idea of cars disturbing the remains of that poor animal, I kept imagining it happening to my dead body, and it was harrowing.

So I grabbed a bag, went back to the highway, scooped what remained of the dead kitten in a bag. I promised I was taking it to a better place where it won't be awful like this. I was almost comforted by the fact that the remains didn't try to run away this time. We could go together to a safe place this time.

I picked a place next to a tree, with some stumps that I felt a cat would love to train their claws on. I felt it was going to rain soon, and I expressed the hope that the rain feels nice on the little animal bones. I forgot to bring a tool so I dug with my fingers. I covered the body with dirt, sat there for several minutes, speaking out my heart about everything, apologized again, and left it to the rain.

I'm not being tormented about it anymore. I know the kitten is in a good place now. Soft soil and rain are a good place to be. I guess this is what I had wanted to do from the start. Bring it to a safe location. Make sure it's not being chased by cars anymore. I managed to do it.

I think the only reason why I could figure it out, is that nobody was judging me, coming after me to attack me or guilt me, or tell me what to do or how I should be handling this. I was imagining the entire time, that if someone knew, they would either tell me how I could have avoided this, or that I'm stupid for being so emotional about this, and it would have ruined me. But this had no humans involved. It was just me, a dead animal, and I was given space and time to stop dissociating, to figure out what is the correct thing to do, and then do it.

I've started to think about whether I could resolve other things by the same method. What is a humane thing to do? I couldn't go back and bury my childhood pets, or tell them that I'm so sorry they died and I did nothing to stop it. I couldn't do anything about what my parents did to me either, the only consequence I could inflict on them was leaving, and I did that. So maybe it only works when you're free to do as you wish, and there are no consequences for any action, and you just pick to do something humane.

I learned that circumstances of someone's death matter very much, and what you do afterwards can change how you feel about life, and living. Ignoring a death and acting like nothing happened is one of the worst ways to go about it, but as a kid sometimes you have no other option, sometimes it's the only thing you can do. Because you're not given the safety to mourn. You're not free to express grief or regret.

This was the first death I mourned. I handled every other death, animal or human, by dissociating and feeling numb and helpless. I wish someone taught me how to mourn, and why humans have rituals like burying and grieving. Or even, if someone gave me space where I could mourn, where there are no consequences to what I do, and I could just spend some days figuring out what I'm feeling and what to do about it. Where I could figure out my own rituals to make the world feel a bit more humane.

Expressing grief, gentleness, affection and love to a dead body feels very humane. It makes death not so horrible, because after all, they're just safe in this soil, their bones are enjoying the rain, and they know you loved them and you wanted them to be safe forever. They know you handled their bones gently and wanted them to feel at peace. You got to tell them. You got to show them. Loved in death means something to the living.

[the-iron-shoulder]

So apparently my bf, who is out of state visiting his sister, got into a hopefully relatively minor motorcycle accident… sounds like it’s just one person involved (he hit… I’m not sure, either a wall or a parked car, I’ll get more later I guess) and he’s able to walk and says he just feels sore and probably didn’t break anything, but he’s still at the ER just waiting to get looked at and make sure that there’s nothing insidious there

he’s with his sister and I trust her to take good care of him, and he’s probably not like injured per se, but I’m worried for him and also I wish I could be there for him right now :(

[newsfromstolenland]

At least 15 people are dead and 10 injured in a "mass casualty collision" that occurred Thursday on a highway in Canada, Royal Canadian Mounted Police said.

The crash happened on the Trans-Canada Highway between a semi-trailer truck and a bus near the town of Carberry in southwestern Manitoba, according to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

The collision occurred around 11:40 a.m. local time. The semi-trailer was traveling eastbound on Highway 1 when it struck the bus, which was traveling southbound on Highway 5, as the bus crossed the eastbound lanes, police said.

Full article

Tagging: @allthecanadianpolitics

[ace-aro-taku]

GET ISEKAI'D BITCH

[abubblingcandle]

Dying for more of roll call. Specifically what calamity had befallen poor Jamie. Any spoilers to share? I think you said he was a later chapter.

Ah thanks for reaching out to talk Roll Call! So yeah Jamie's is the last chapter (sorry for the suspense 🙈) as its one of the more serious. This was the one that I knew from day one what it would be when I polled all the others.

So Jamie's is hypothermia, and he's the last chapter because he's not seen in the immediate aftermath. I haven't written much of his chapter yet but here's a little snippet of the During section

Colin cursed, how could he have been so stupid. He paced up and down outside Roy’s room as Keeley worked to calm Roy down. Of course it was the near dead Roy who had thought about something that had slipped through Colin’s near constant panicked haze. A crack and Colin nursed his now bruised knuckles. Roy had asked the question that new was dominating every thought and every breath. Where the fuck was Jamie?

[saucerfulofsins]

Guys, I am begging you, can you please start tagging vehicular accidents properly ("traffic accident" or even just "accident" would be fine) ????

Like, idk if anyone else has experience with traffic accidents + PTSD or if everyone else is fine with seeing all these posts/this spec, but for me it's actually a big fucking issue to keep seeing new iterations pop up on my dash. I keep adding new versions and yet people come up with new and inventive ways to expose me.

[cursedpinterest]

i love when someone make a pinterest post about a very specific topic and the whole comment section decides to give their experiences with said topic. for example:

[chuckletons]

huge fan of this

[raphaelderberry]

Thousands of pedestrians die in the U.S alone every year. Lots of people have experienced trauma relating to this.

I will never understand why it isn't more common to trigger tag this topic.

This post is all screenshots. No image ID. I can't even use the filtering feature which would catch text.

[skaianbruja]

We've had 30 traffic related deaths in my city this year alone. That's nearly a death per week. And I just can't help but wonder how many of those deaths could've been avoided if we had less cars on the streets, if we had better public transport. The latest was that of a child ran over while crossing the street. That child should've still been alive. A week before that, an adult man also died as the result of being hit by a car while riding his bike. He should've also still been alive. And the thing is, my city had actually put up hundreds if not thousands of new bikes to make traveling around the city easier and safer for bicyclists. But unfortunately those bike lanes have been set up in a way that impedes traffic and causes confusion, ironically leading to more accidents than if they hadn't existed. Like how long do we need to put up with this shit?

[ladyylavenderrr]

A crater in the bus you hit is all that shows where you once were

And people sigh at the traffic jam, your suicide was quite the stir

But traffic jams will all clear up and your falling down is forgotten as well

Your life ends here, not yet begun, a fragile, newborn baby shell

But you don’t think of all these things, no you don’t think a thought at all

You sleep on the road, a nameless bag, a footnote to the cars you stalled

[isekyaaa]

Phenomena: In reincarnation isekai, the most common cause of death is pedestrian car accident.

Hypothesis: East Asians are not taught to look both ways before crossing a street

[thinkingnot]

so hoodie’s travel update: got into this cool looking hotel (lots of recreational facilities), i started laughing maniacally after we checked in (idk something was funny), i couldn’t stop laughing until we reach our rooms (the second because the room they first gave us was by the lifts and faced the kid’s yard & swimming pool, thus being unbearably noisy). I walked in my room and by the fifth beat there’s this irrational fear taking over, maybe its the ripped wallpapers, the mossy windows that have distant children’s laughter filtering through (its the same side as the rooms they initially gave us but upstairs -> less noisy), maybe its the odd lighting (my parents had a nearly identical room but for some reason their’s is brighter & warmer), also the color scheme in my room was all shades of beige and white, also there was a wet spot stained yellow on the ceiling at the entrance, there was also this sickly moldy with a hint of perfume scent (i think it could have been applied to rid of the stuffy wetness in the air, it smelled like its been ling since someone was here, or it could just be the carpet). the ominous feeling remains as i walk through the premise, it’s not by any means deserted or anything like they got good business going on there’s plenty of people around and kids causing chaos but something hung in the air and weighted like something happened here or that something could potentially happen here if i stayed any longer. also a big minus was reflective surfaces at the foot of our beds (giant mirror and tv facing us as we sleep) (im not really superstitious but mirrors are the one thing imma play safe with cuz you never know) anyways creeped out as hell and overthinking the fear the chills in me bones the uneasiness here 🙉🤌

[wittyno]

For no particular reason how much do bumpers cost? What about two tiny holes in bumpers?

[aurorawritestoescape]

LOST & FOUND || Joel Miller x f!reader || 3,8k

pt 2 of Perfect Strangers || can be read alone

Tw: 18+ mdni, smut, a bit of angst, infidelity, unspecified age gap, unprotected piv(wrap it up), f!oral, soft!joel, cum eating, swearing, Joel can pick up reader, reader wears a dress

Summary: you meet Joel by accident at a party and fall for the charm of the handsome stranger again.

A/n: thank you to @noceurous for the ask and motivation to continue the story. Hugs and kisses to @missannwinchester and @milla-frenchy for beta-ing and editing🌸 Hope y’all enjoy!💖

Part 1 || Masterlist

*****

It was a sunny spring day but you were sad and angry . Not only did you have to spend this Saturday with your boyfriend’s colleagues at his boss's birthday party but you also had to wait for him there because he was stuck in a traffic jam. You’d have rather waited in the car but he said it wasn’t polite to be late and asked you to explain the situation.

You did and now you had to endure the torture of small talk with people you hardly knew, only meeting them twice a year at their work parties.

You were standing on the patio with Karen or Carol listening to her yap about one of her kids.

You were about to die of boredom when you felt someone’s eyes on you. You looked back, searching through the crowd of guests in the backyard. The people were chatting quietly, drinking and waiting for the celebration to start when your gaze stopped at a man facing away from you. You saw a broad back clad in a white shirt and a head full of dark curly hair. His hands were shoved in the pockets of black pants and he was talking to someone you didn’t know.

Your eyes must be deceiving you, was your first thought. It couldn’t be him! But when the man turned his head slightly to the left to greet another person joining them, your heart burst with excitement, fear, joy, your stomach jumped, fell and swirled around and you felt like you were going to either faint or puke all over the nice lawn.

It was him, no doubt, the stranger who had fucked you on Valentine’s Day in a dark alley by the restaurant while his wife and your boyfriend were waiting for you two inside.

Although you couldn’t call him a stranger anymore. After making you come on his tongue and his cock, he had left you a card with his name and a phone number. The name, Joel Miller, had been swirling in your mind all those couple of months, and you had read his phone number so many times that it was imprinted in your memory.

You had never called him though, scared of pursuing a relationship with a married man and being afraid to break up with your boyfriend who was a nice guy with good husband potential.

The only time you let yourself see Joel was in your dreams and your fantasies- when your vibrator was pressed tightly to your clit or when your boyfriend was fucking you. At first you felt bad for imagining another man but Joel’s face behind your eyelids and the memory of his cock sliding in and out your tight channel made your orgasms so much harder that you’d given up and let yourself have at least that.

You were watching Joel from across the backyard and couldn’t help but feel his hands on your body. His hair was shining under the bright afternoon sun, and you wished you could run your fingers through it.

Suddenly he turned in your direction and in panic you quickly swirled around, excused yourself and rushed to the open back door. You almost ran through the kitchen and to the bathroom. You needed to be alone with your thoughts and to decide what you were going to do. The possibility of sitting at the same table with your boyfriend, Joel and his wife made your heart freeze with fear.

As soon as you locked the bathroom door, you hurried to the sink ready to puke your guts out. Trying to calm your nerves, you took a deep breath and your scared face with wide eyes and trembling lips told you that there was only one option - you needed to leave. As soon as possible.

You took out your phone and were about to text your boyfriend that you had the worst period pains, (period talk always made him uncomfortable for some weird reason), when you heard a quiet knock on the door.

“Occupied,” you said loudly and began writing the message.

There was another knock and your breath hitched. Your trembling legs slowly carried you to the door and you unlocked it with shaky hands before taking a step back.

The door slowly opened revealing Joel standing in the hall.

He smiled at you, looked around and quickly entered the bathroom. Then he locked the door and turned to you.

The room that was spacious just a second ago, now felt small and suffocating. You were hardly breathing.

“Hey,” Joel said, his gaze sliding up and down your body. “Didn’t believe it was you first. But it’s you.”

His eyes were warm but the longer you stared into them the more heat you felt in his darkening irises. Your dress suddenly felt too short, the neckline too revealing.

You cleared your throat before speaking.

“Was nice seeing you again…I need to go.”

You took a step towards the door trying to squeeze past him when he stretched out his arm stopping you.

“Hey!” You exclaimed furrowing your brows at the man.

“Let’s talk. Give me five minutes,” he asked softly, with a trace of plea in his voice.

You needed to leave but his scent, his presence, the memory of him touching you made you pause and breathe out a quiet “okey.”

He was too close to you, the warmth of his body heating up your skin, so you returned to the sink and leaned against the counter.

He gave you a wide charming smile and was about to come up to you but stopped in his tracks.

His face fell a little when he asked,

“Why didn’t you call?”

You heart sank when you heard the question that you had asked yourself many times since that night in February.

Averting your eyes from him you mumbled,

“You’re married.”

The sadness in your voice was evident so he took a step closer. And then another one.

You felt his big warm hand on your naked shoulder and looked up into his sad puppy eyes quickly getting lost in them. You felt tingling between your legs and scolded yourself inwardly for being so weak.

“Are you here with your boyfriend?” he asked, gliding his hand down your arm, from your shoulder to your elbow. Your skin erupted in goosebumps and you moved away a little and hugged your middle.

“Not yet… he’s late,” you replied, your gaze downcast, and added in a seemingly nonchalant tone, “is your wife here?”

“Will it turn you on if I say ‘yes’?”

Your stomach made a flip and you swallowed loudly. His words hit you right in the pussy. A light tingling turned into a scorching fire. The sensations, phrases, feelings of that night rushed to you with a new force.

“Look at me,” he said, his voice serious. He wasn’t pleading anymore, he was telling you what to do. Commanding you.

‘How dare he?’ you thought and glared at the man.

“What do you want, Joel?"

To your surprise he gave you a little smile.

"Love hearing my name out of this pretty mouth." He leaned closer and brought his hand to your face. His thumb brushed against your lower lip and your pussy fluttered. “I wonder what else you can do with it.”

The ache for him was getting unbearable and you tried to leave but he stepped in front of you not letting you through.

“I’m sorry. I won’t touch you again.” He said, hands raised, his gentle voice returning. You felt sadness when you heard his words.

“Unless you want me to…,” he added and you both smiled. The tension between you was dissolving and you perched your ass back on the counter.

“My wife’s not here, but …fuck,” his hands fell at the sides and he was clenching and unclenching his fists. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

You were staring at him with wide eyes, not saying anything, afraid to hear what he wanted to say but wishing for it so hard you held your breath so as not to spook it.

“I tried to find you. Went back to that place but they wouldn’t give me your name… well, your boyfriend’s name…But you’re here now and … don’t you think it means something?”

You couldn’t help but giggle, “Don’t tell me it’s destiny, Joel,”

He huffed a sad laugh, “I know it sounds stupid. But I see the way you look at me,” he inched closer to you, “I see your eyes. I see the way your body reacts to me…what are we going to do about it?”

Your eyes were locked, faces so close that you were breathing each other’s air.

Like that night he waited for you to take the first step, to give him permission.

You thought about all the nights you had dreamed about his hands on you, his lips trailing kisses along your neck, his cock splitting you open and the desire won over reason once again.

You tugged him closer by the collar of his shirt and pressed your lips to his. Like the first time his arms immediately embraced you and he answered your kiss with hunger and vigour.

He was holding you tight as your hands were roaming his back, so strong and broad under your touch, until he parted from you.

“I’m not making you do this, am I?” He asked through heavy breaths.

“No, I want it. I want you,” you assured him looking into his blown eyes. His happy smile warmed your heart and you hugged him and pressed your cheek to his warm chest peeking out from the shirt. You felt him plant a kiss on the top of your head and your eyes welled up with tears. You realized that you missed not only his body, you missed him, the way he had made you feel that time, the warmth he had given you.

You sniffed and he bent his legs at the knees lowering himself and searching for your eyes.

“Hey, hey, what is it, baby?

“I’m really happy to see you.”

He smiled and took your face between his warm palms before pressing his forehead to yours.

“I’m happy too,” he whispered and you stood like that for a few moments, quietly enjoying each other.

Soon it wasn’t enough and you started to make out. Joel grabbed your ass cheeks and squeezed them with his big hands. You pressed your hips to him and felt him grow harder with every stroke of your lips against his.

“Fuck me, Joel,” you whimpered and he growled before looking around the bathroom.

“C’mere,” he said, pulling you to the toilet. He put the lid down and sat on top of it.

You immediately straddled his lap and your lips found his again. He was caressing you with his tongue while you were grinding your pussy against his stiff bulge. His pants were thin so you felt his cock perfectly.

His hands were kneading your ass cheeks before they sneaked under your dress and the sensation of his skin on yours made you gush into your panties.

“Wanna ride me, baby?” He asked and you nodded eagerly, your pretense having already crumbled.

You got off him so he could tug his pants along with his boxers down to his knees. They pooled around his ankles on the floor. You saw his long thick cock and your mouth watered.

Still standing in front of him you hiked up your dress revealing your lacy panties and he cursed under his breath. You softly gasped when he leaned towards you and pressed his lips to your covered pussy. His hot wet tongue licked over the material applying pressure to your clit and you moaned his name.

“Fuck.. again,” he commanded pulling your panties to the side and exposing your pussy, “Say my name like this again.”

You followed the command breathing out a sultry “Joel” and he groaned as his mouth latched to your cunt. His tongue slid between your folds and he began eating you out, holding you tight with his thick fingers digging into your ass cheeks.

Soon you came whimpering into the back of your hand.

Not giving you a respite Joel pulled you down to straddle his naked thighs. His cock looked painfully hard and drops of precum landed on your skin with each harsh movement.

His lips and chin were shiny with your slick and you licked it off him before kissing him again. His hands pulled the neckline of your dress down along with the cups of your bra and he cursed staring at your breasts.

His hands darted to knead them.

“Fuck, they are gorgeous,” Joel mumbled before taking a nipple in his mouth, his tongue swirling around the hard nub.

You loved him playing with your tits but you needed more. So you lifted your hips, took his hard cock and guided it to your crying entrance.

Joel parted from your breast, looked down and leaned back slightly to watch his cock disappear inside your little hole.

“Oh, yeah…” he moaned and you echoed him while your walls were parting, welcoming his length.

You locked eyes with him, watching pleasure paint his face as you were sinking on him inch by inch.

You moaned loudly when you bottomed out.

“Naughty girl, want everyone to hear you? Maybe you want them to watch you bounce on my dick too, huh?”

You pussy clenched around his thick cock and you fluttered your eyes shut, almost coming just from hearing him.

“Yeah, that’s my little slut,” he praised you and thrust up harshly into you. You opened your eyes and gasped as his tip hit your cervix.

You began rocking your hips, fucking yourself on his member.

His hazy gaze was sliding over your heated face, bouncing breasts and glistening pussy which was tightly enveloping his cock.

Joel’s soft growls and curses filled the bathroom while you were mercilessly biting your lip trying to keep your whimpers from escaping.

Suddenly you heard a short buzz coming from behind you. Your phone. Probably a text from your boyfriend. To be honest you forgot about him as soon as Joel’s tongue slid into your mouth. He had probably arrived at the party and the thought of him catching you and Joel in the act skyrocketed your arousal. You couldn’t deny that it was hot. So you kept riding Joel and he was helping you, with his hands on your hips.

Then you heard the buzzing again and now it was continuous. He was calling you.

“Answer it,” Joel said, making you stop by putting pressure on your hips.

“Fuck, i don’t know…let’s keep going,”

“I said answer it,” Joel repeated, his fingers squeezing your flesh, not painfully but enough to show you that he was serious.

With a wicked smile you reached behind still sitting on his cock and took your phone off the counter.

You swiped the button to the right and answered the call.

“Hey,” you said trying to sound normal and felt Joel’s hands moving your hips on his lap. He was slowly massaging his cock with your tight pussy while you were talking to your boyfriend.

“I’m here. Where the hell are you?”

His voice was worried and frustrated and you felt a little bad but the guilt was completely overshadowed by the sensation of Joel’s cock dragging in and out of your channel, his hands gliding over your thighs, ass, chest, his eyes devouring you.

A little smile was dancing on Joel’s face as he slid his hands under your thighs and started bouncing you on his cock, his fat head hitting your cervix with a delicious ache. You gasped and tried to stop him but the arousal was clouding your mind making you pliant and obedient to Joel’s desire.

“I’m in the bathroom. Aaahh,” you moaned after a particularly hard thrust and hastily put a palm over your mouth, eyes wide and scared. Joel’s smug grin told you he was enjoying himself too much. You tried to collect yourself.

“Sorry, my period started…it hurts.”

“Shit, really? Will you be out soon?” He whispered into the phone.

“N-no… ehm.. it’s big.. I mean it’s bad,” you stammered when Joel took your nipple in his mouth and started sucking and licking it, his strong hands still moving you on his thick cock. His dark eyes were looking up into yours and you felt yourself on the edge of climax.

You heard a frustrated groan in your ear. You replied with another whimper.

“I’m dripping everywhere,” you whined, fluttering your eyes shut with pleasure and heard Joel curse against your breast.

“Do you need help? I can come there,” your boyfriend offered unsurely.

“No, no, I’m managing it… aah.. i'll see you at home. Bye!”

You quickly ended the call and threw the phone back on the counter.

“You’re horrible,” you whined nuzzling Joel’s neck and kissing his skin there.

“I’m horrible? You were moaning on my cock talking to your boyfriend, naughty girl,” he purred against your temple, thrusting up into your pussy with added vigour.

His fat tip was grinding against your soft spot with every thrust, your clit was rubbing deliciously on his soft lower belly and when he kissed you, your pussy began contracting around his cock.

“Here we go… good girl,” Joel praised you, watching you unravel in his arms, rocking his hips into you.

“Joel…” you moaned a little too loud and his palm covered your mouth. You were whimpering into his hand, eyes shut, while his strong arm was holding you close.

When the spasms ended you slumped into his embrace and he let you rest for a minute or so before you felt him gently move his hips again.

After your climax the affection for him overwhelmed you. You wished to give him everything, every tiny bit of yourself. So you started riding him, whispering his name, knowing the effect it had on him.

“Joel…Joel… Joel..”

He dropped his head back, mouth slack and eyes hazy, and his ecstatic expression made your chest flutter with pride.

Then he brought his lips to your ear and whispered,

“You little minx… I’m gonna blow my load right into your slutty pussy if you don’t stop...”

“I want your load…”

“Where, baby?”

“Inside,” you replied and his thrusts became fast and erratic.

“Fuck, really? Want me to pump you full?…make you leak all over your thighs?.. ‘m gonna ruin your pretty dress.. gonna be all covered in my cum.” He was growling through gritted teeth, fucking up into your cunt fast and hard, making your whole body bounce on his lap.

Then he stilled with a pained moan, his face pressed to the crease of your neck and began pulsating inside you. You felt the warmth of his seed filling you up as his arms were squeezing you so tight you could barely breathe.

Every jerk of his body marked another rope of cum painting your walls.

When his body relaxed, you two didn’t move. Joel was nuzzling your neck trying to catch his breath while you were running your fingers through his curly hair, slightly damp with sweat.

Your stomach started churning with fear and worry. He used to be a stranger haunting your wet dreams and invading your fantasies. But that day every thrust of his hips, every kiss was turning him into someone else, someone too important for you to lose, someone impossible to forget. That realization scared you to the core and you hastily got up from his lap. His cock slipped out of your pussy, making his cum leak all over your inner thighs but you didn’t care. With your heart gripped by fear you stepped back to the counter.

He looked up at you, startled by the sudden change in your mood, got up too and pulled his boxers and pants back on.

After adjusting his clothes he took a cautious step towards you and raised his brow waiting for you to talk.

“We can’t do this anymore, Joel” you mumbled, as your eyes stung with tears.

He sighed, took another step and opened his arms to you. You hesitated for a moment but his magnetic pull made you press your body to him, with your cheek on his chest wetting his shirt. He planted a kiss on top of your head and his embrace, warm and comforting, somehow made your fears dispel and you took a deep breath feeling yourself calming down.

“I need to go,” you whispered and left his embrace with reluctance.

“Just one second, baby,” he said before lifting you by the waist and setting you down on the counter, making you gasp in surprise.

Joel dampened a hand towel and asked you to lift your hips. You did and he slid the soaked material off your legs. Then he cleaned you up, his touch gentle and soft and you let him take care of you. When he finished, he stood between your legs, hands on your waist, his forehead pressed to yours.

“Wanna ask you something,” he whispered and you hummed, waiting for him to continue.

“Don’t let him fuck you, baby, please.” His hand sneaked under your dress and he gently stroked your folds with his thumb, “This pussy’s mine now. Fuck…already miss being inside you.”

You moaned hearing his words and reached for his lips. His possessiveness and the kiss you were sharing made your core ignite again and you hastily parted from him, afraid not to be able to leave. And you needed to leave. To gather your thoughts, to decide what to do next.

You took your panties and your phone off the counter but he grabbed it from you.

“Not so fast, little girl.”

“Joel!”

You stood up, about to protest.

“I won’t let you disappear this time.” He put your phone in front of your face and unlocked it.

You saw him dial a number, his number, and press Call. When you heard a buzz in his pants he gave you your phone back with a pleased grin.

You were happy and a little scared that he had your number too.

“Good bye, Joel,” you said, smiling back but feeling a pang of sadness in your heart about leaving him.

You hopped off the counter and headed for the door but suddenly Joel grasped your wrist and spun you around. You giggled, blinking away the whiplash. With your face between his big palms Joel gave you a farewell kiss and then looked deep into your eyes.

“I’ll see you soon, baby.”

Before leaving you brought your lips to his ear and told him something that made him beam. It was your name.

*****

Thank you for reading!🌸

Your comments make me very happy and reblogs help to spread my work♥️

Part 1 || MASTERLIST

Tag list💖 @harriedandharassed @iamasaddie @nervousmumbling @bbyanarchist @stevie75 @puduvallee @auteurdelabre @mountainsandmayhem @senoratess

Also tagging lovely people who showed interest in pt 2: @survivingandenduring @akah565 @untamedheart81

Let me know if you want to be tagged in future fics💕

[magics-neptunes-things]

Pretzel Chocolate

Hi guys!

This is a request I add some days ago, I know it kind of the same background as @alessiasfreckles current story. But I asked her before and she kindly accepted it. So thanks to her too ♥ (Go check her work, it really is amazing)

It's a little less sweet that what I usually write with Wally, but I hope you will like it.

TW : Accident, Loss memory, Angst but happy ending

______________________________________________________________

Clearly, you didn’t expect that when you innocently get in your team’s bus back to London. Like your girlfriend Lia, you’re a footballer and that’s how you got to know each other. You quickly fell in love with the Swiss girl and after some very disturbing flirting attempts on your part, Lia saved you from humiliation by asking yourself for a date. You agreed and the rest is history.

You were sleeping peacefully in the front of the bus when the accident happened. Most of your teammates had gathered in the back for a wild game cards, allowing you to catch up on your sleep peacefully. Over time, you get used to falling asleep with Mackenzie’s Australian-sounding curses when she loses, Kristie’s happy exclamations, or Katrina’s laugh.

You have no memory of the accident, you don't know why and how the driver ran straight into a pole, throwing you out of your seat under the violence of the shock and putting you at the top of the list of wounded with a vital emergency when help arrived.

Lia was at a team bonding and will remember perfectly when Mackenzie called Caitlin shortly after the accident, in shock of what had just happened. She will remember the blood that suddenly left her ex-girlfriend’s face and the horrified look she gave her. She will also remember that she needed to be told things three times so that the information was anchored in her brain and that Leah was more reactive than her, taking her to the London hospital where you were having your operation at that moment.

She will also remember the relief of learning that you are alive, but the distress of not knowing when and if you will wake up. Nor in what state. But she will also remember the unfailing support of Leah and Lotte who kept her company in the waiting room for hours.

********

When you regain consciousness, the first thing you face is a blinding light that make you close your eyes again quickly. You hear different beeps around you, whispers of voices and the sound of a chair being dragged on the floor that makes you open your eyes instinctively.

You are this time facing the faces of several people, who look at you attentively. One of them is dressed all in white, a man of about fifty years certainly who slowly approaches you by looking at you carefully.

"Can you hear me?"

You nod, bitterly regretting your gesture when your vision is blurred and a pain awakens in your skull. You wince and moan in pain, your eyes flickering when one of the two women in the room takes your hand in hers. She seems to be on the verge of a panic attack or passing out.

"Where am I?" you ask, difficulty articulating.

"At the hospital in London. You had a traffic accident two weeks ago. Do you remember?"

"No…" you frown, searching your mind for any information.

"It’s normal" the doctor assures you with a smile, noting a few words on his notepad "Can you tell me today’s date?"

As he looks up at you, he must feel the fear that begins to take hold of you. The hand on yours tightens around yours, but you are quickly diverted from this by the professional who talks again.

"What year are we?"

This time, you're way more scared. You know nothing about it. You are unable to be even close to the reality.

"It doesn’t matter, everything is fine. Tell me the closest memory of today that you have.”

"I…"

It’s the nothingness in your memory. You turn your brain upside down, without being able to get anything out of it.

From the corner of your eye, you see the two women exchanging a look, without you being able to understand what it's about. And, when you realize that you cannot give your own identity, it's panic that takes hold of you.

A few hours later, you finally come to yourself again. After your panic attack, the doctor gave you a sedative that sent you into the clouds. You come back to yourself, but your memory is still lacking, despite all the different stimuli tried by the doctors. Aside from getting annoyed and tired, it doesn’t change anything. And it's finally when one of the two unknowns women asks them dryly to leave you alone that it stops. You are grateful to her, you hope that the look you cast at her speaks for you.

You have no memory of your love life, your past, your present or your family. The doctors warned your parents who came immediately, apparently not living very far from London. You learned in the meantime that the two young women in the room are respectively called Lia and Leah, the pronunciation being the same, it confused you a few seconds. But when the brunette mumbled that she was nicknamed Wally, you decided to go for it too. You found out you were friends, Leah showed you some pictures to prove it.

Other friends came to visit you, including Mackenzie who came with a photo album so you could list the people who mattered to you. Lia is very often at your side, discreet, almost mute. You’ve noticed that her eyes get wet sometimes and then she apologizes before leaving your room in hurry.

"She cares about you and is worried" Mackenzie answered kindly at your questions.

"I think I care about her too, even if I don't remember. Seeing her sad make me sad" you mumble.

Mackenzie smiles at you, squeezing your hand in hers. She was in the accident as well and only got out with a slight concussion. Most of the players (you learned that you were a professional footballer) got away without serious injuries. There's only you.

You learned that you play football, like most people who come to see you at the hospital. And you’re playing pretty well. You play for West Ham but also in the England national team and you even won the Euro in 2022. Unfortunately, you are without a screen for many more weeks. So, Lia came back to see you once with photos of the event. You pose there beside Leah and other people who also came to see you. Beth, Alessia, Lotte and many others.

But you don’t remember that either.

********

Staring at the clock on the walls of your room, you wait for time to pass. Leah and Wally are supposed to come see you and you can’t help but feel some excitement at the thought. You appreciate when Lia comes to see you, she is calm, gentle and always very attentive to your needs. You seemed close before your accident and it’s probably stupid since she’s in a relationship with Leah, but you want to find back the bond you had.

"Hi there!" cheers Leah, entering your room soon after.

She carries Swiss chocolate and some flowers. She put the old ones in the trash to put the new ones on the table. You look at her, lying in your bed, a little bit tired. You had exercises to try to have your memories back all the afternoon, but it didn't go well.

"Thank you, Leah" you answer, slightly smiling. "Are you alone? Where is your girlfriend?"

"My girlfriend?"

Leah frown, looking at you. You frown too, you know you have a bad memory, but you saw both interact together.

"Well... Wally?"

"Wally? She's not my girlfriend" Leah laughs. "She's one of my best friends though."

"Oh... I thought... You look close."

You shrug your shoulders and you see Leah sitting on the chair next to your bed, tilting her head on the side while looking at you.

"We are. But in a friendly way"

She smiles at you and you smile back. You feel like she want to ask you something but didn't. You don't have anything to remember, so you try to work on your intuition to guess things. And you usually are very good at this. But you didn't insist, something else coming in your head anyway.

"We... We only were friends, you and me right?"

"Yes" laughs Leah "Don't get me wrong, you're very cute but..."

There is no but, because Wally is entering the room at this moment. She looks at Leah with a special gaze, making the blonde looking a little bit uneasy.

"Hi" you say, trying to dismiss the tension you don't understand.

Lia's eyes are coming on you and her face softened, giving you a small smile.

"Hi Y/N"

Her accent is special, you asked her where she's from the other day and learn that she's from Switzerland. After that, you asked one nurse what Switzerland looks like and she came back with a travel-themed magazine, the principal subject being Switzerland this month. You didn't ask Lia if you already went there, sometimes she looks so sad about your situation that you want to cry too.

She comes to kiss your cheek, before giving you the chocolate Leah was caring.

"Swiss chocolate. It's your favorite."

You look at the package with curiosity, turning it in your hands. Milk chocolate with pretzel in it.

Your loved ones have been instructed to give you secondary information about your tastes, preferences or things you like. But they must not give you information that you have not looked for yourself before. That’s why you don’t know anything about your love life, some of your past too.

You remembered some things, like how you hate artichokes so much or what your bedroom looked like when you were a teenager. Maybe you should have left this information behind when you think about the number of posters of all kinds that covered your wallpaper.

After hesitating, you open the tablet to take a square and eat it. It's not surprising that it's your favorite, the flavor is exceptional. As you enjoy your chocolate, a picture dances before your eyes. A living room with a fireplace located right next to a TV. The wooden floor is light and there is a coffee table between the sofa and the TV.

"Do I have a fireplace in my house?"

Leah and Lia exchange a look, and it's finally Leah who answers you with a little sorry smile.

"No, you live in an apartment.”

"Oh…"

You sigh softly, a little disappointed. You don’t realize that in Lia’s eyes looking at you, there’s hope for the first time since your accident. You strive to engrave this vision in your mind to forget as little as possible.

Lia sitting next to you, you instinctively seek her hand, mixing your fingers with hers. You realized a few days ago that the feeling soothes you and since Lia doesn't seem disturbed by this kind of gestures, you don't deprive yourself of it.

********

"Did Lia come to see you?"

You look up at Alessia, who has come to keep you company for the day. Her eyes are placed on the chocolate bar opened on your bedside table and a smile decorates her lips. Apparently, your chocolate tastes seem to be known to everyone.

"Yeah, she was here earlier with Leah."

You repost the crossword book that Alessia brought you, as well as some Spanish specialties received by Lucy, with whom you also play in the national team. You are apparently close to her too, but since she plays in another country and you aren't allowed to use electronic devices now, you haven't been able to exchange much. She wrote you several letters though, telling you about her dog, her love life and her life in Barcelona. That’s probably what you’re talking about when you call. It took you several days to answer something in writing, your concentration being still difficult sometimes. But you managed to do it.

"I thought they were together. Lia and Leah"

Alessia looks at you with an expression that mixes surprise, tenderness and fun.

"Many fans thought they were together before they denied the rumors. You remembered Leah’s ACL, right?" asks Alessia before continuing when you answer positively "Lia was very present for Leah at that time. I guess it brought them closer."

You nod thoughtfully, playing mechanically with the pen you always have in your fingers. You did remember Leah’s injury, which kept her away from the World Cup you apparently competed in last summer. You have a few images in mind, like kangaroos you saw with Ella or a laugh when Mary showed you a video of Alessia traumatized by a turkey.

You miss those moments we stole from you, and you can’t remember them. It’s frustrating and it makes you very sad sometimes. You wish you could get your life back, but it’s not working right now. Your parents come to see you regularly and show you photo albums of you as a child, with your brother and cousins. You seem to be numerous and you seem to be in the youngest of this generation.

"You’ll remember, Y/N" Alessia says gently, putting a hand on your knee.

You give her a little smile before you nod. Yes, you will remember. You have no choice.

********

Several things have been put in place to help you regain your memory. You have a medical treatment to take every day, you have psychotherapy and hypnosis sessions and you also have a sports routine to respect. This last thing isn't a bad idea since you are a professional footballer and if you want to get your life back, you must stay fit enough.

Sometimes you are accompanied by one of your friends, and today it is Mackenzie who helps you to return to your room. No release date has been given to you, but according to your doctors it will not be long. You don't know where you will go however, it has been highly recommended to you not to live alone for the moment. You didn’t have the guts to ask anyone. You would like to ask Lia if she would accept to host you for a while, but for a reason that you cannot determine you retreat every time you are about to ask her the question. And it’s been a few days now.

So, you are fucked up when the doctor comes back to see you in the room after your shower while you and Mackenzie watch a game on television.

"Did you find someone to have you when you left the hospital?" asks the doctor.

You feel yourself blushed and you see Macca’s face turning in your direction.

"Um… Mackenzie, I haven’t asked you this yet, but if you’re okay, I thought about you?"

Just a beautiful liar.

"Oh… yes, of course. I thought… whatever. Of course, my guest room is at your disposal."

"Thank you" you answer with a slight smile.

The next day, when Lia comes to see you and you tell her that you are going to settle for a while with Mackenzie, it would be hard not to see her face fall. You don’t understand the pinch in the heart that it makes you, but she recovers quickly, making sure that she is very happy to learn that you are better.

"Will you keep coming to see me? At Macca's?" you ask, almost timidly.

A few seconds pass during which she looks at you intensely, before nodding.

"Of course. If you feel like it"

"It would make me very happy."

She smiles at you, but with that sad smile that doesn't reach her eyes, before diverting your attention to the newspaper she brought you. You listen to her read you the latest news and you decide to offer yourself a new square of chocolate that Lia brought you, that you save with precious care. Barely in your mouth, you feel a new image coming before your eyes, pushing Lia’s voice in the background.

You’re in the same living room with the fireplace and the TV is on this time. There is a presence beside you and you hear a laugh, a laugh that gives you a strange sensation in the hollow of your belly. When you open your eyes, Lia doesn’t seem to have noticed anything. But these images caused a question in your mind and you interrupt the reading of the Swiss.

"Lia?"

"Yes?"

The brunette raises the nose of the newspaper with a curious air, looking at you attentively.

"I just… don’t take this question for what it isn’t, but I’ve never heard you laugh since you came to see me."

"It’s not really a question" ended up answering Lia after long seconds of silence.

She’s not wrong and you bite your lip, looking for the best way to put your point of view in a better light.

"I just don’t want you to feel obligated to come here, if it weighs on you. I love your presence here, but if it’s too heavy for you…"

"No. It’s important for me to come and see you."

Your eyes cross for a few moments and you only see sincerity in the green eyes of your interlocutor. You end up smiling and holding out a hand that she doesn’t hesitate to grasp. Only then do you notice the ring she’s wearing on her finger. It’s not an engagement ring, but the kind of ring you get for duck fishing at the fair. You find it strange that Lia is wearing something that is quite suitable for children.

"What is this ring?" you ask curiously.

It reminds you something, but you feel like you’re looking for a needle in a fog. Lia seems to have understood, since she looks at you briefly before answering you.

"What do you think?"

You bite your lip, searching again and again. Lia gives you time and unlike the exercises you do for your memory, you feel no pressure. Lia exudes kindness and the way her thumb caresses the back of your hand helps you a lot.

"I gave it to you."

You leave the ring colored rainbow to focus your eyes on Lia whose face is suddenly radiant. You don’t remember all the details, but you do remember the decor around you when you take out this plastic ring from its paper packaging. And of your insistence on putting it on Lia’s finger, the latter accepting not without rolling her eyes.

"Yes, it’s you" confirms Lia in a soft voice despite the excitement that seems to have gripped her.

"I don’t remember when it was" you mumble in an apology tone.

Meanwhile, Lia got up from her chair to sit on the mattress of your bed, on which you are sitting too. She always have her smile, a real smile this time. And when she affectionately passes her hand through your hair, you feel like butterflies in the hollow of your belly.

"It doesn’t matter" Lia gently says "It will come back. I know it."

You want to kiss her suddenly. You wonder what sensations her lips might give you. But, before you can answer this urge, knocks are made at the door of your room, letting in Katrina, Clara and Harper.

"I’ll leave you with your new guests" decides Lia.

You’re having a hard time covering up your disappointment, even though you’re happy to see Harper.

"I’ll see you tomorrow before we leave for Manchester." Lia informs you before putting a kiss on your head.

********

"Why does Lia looked sad when I told her I was going to live with Mackenzie?"

You are walking Leah Mom's dog with Leah, during a rather cloudly afternoon. You doctor asked you to stay in shape and because you're not ready to go back to training, you do as much as you can to move. You go to the stores walking and your coach sent you bodybuilding and endurance exercises to do every day.

Leah looked at you for some seconds, before answering you. You know you were friends before your accident, but you don't know if you talked to the other a lot. Still, you feel safe with her. You know you can talk to her.

"I feel like you already know the answer for this question."

You bite your lip, looking at Bella running after ducks. And Leah running after Bella soon after, trying to protect those poor ducks. When the blonde come back next to you like nothing happened, she pats your arm.

"Talk to her. Wally really cares about you and I'm sure she misses you"

"She said she will still come to see me. But she never came" you mumble, without looking at Leah.

You don't understand. You thought you were close and Lia's absence made you realize that you maybe have like a crush on her. Which is stupid, why in the world would she have interest in someone broken like you are? But you still miss her.

"She's going to kill me for saying that" Leah sighs, pinching the base of her nose, before looking at you "She thinks you are developing feelings for Macca. Like romantic feelings"

"What?! That's the stupidest thing I ever heard since my accident."

Well of course Mackenzie is sweet and you understand why she was your best friend before and you really like the idea that you can still have that after all that. Of course, you don't know her like Caitlin or Alanna does, but of all your teammates, she's the one you’re closest to.

Leah shrugs and call Bella to going back home.

"Like I said, talk to her."

You hum for any answer, your hands stuck in the pockets of your jogging and the brain turning a thousand an hour. It’s only after saying goodbye to Leah on her doorstep that you realize that it doesn’t explain why Lia would stop seeing you if you were really in love with Mackenzie.

She’s watching a movie with her own girlfriend when you come back home. Since they have been waiting for you to eat, you sit at the table with them and try to stay focused on the discussion, but your mind is elsewhere. You are relieved to have the opportunity to find the calm of the guest room, in which you decide to offer yourself a new piece of chocolate offered by Lia.

You were disappointed to find that no other square allowed you to remember other things as the first two times. This is the last squares you have left; you will have at worst the excuse to want extra chocolateif you need excuse to contact Lia.

Lying on your back, on your bed, you swallow the last chocolate crumbs you have left, your eyes fixed on the ceiling.

But, while you don’t expected more, a new flash comes dancing before your eyes.

The same living room, the same television, the same fireplace and the same laugh. Except this time when you turn your head, Lia is sitting next to you. She looks much happier than you’ve seen her since you opened your eyes. And the way she looks at you… Like you’re the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

When the image dissipates, you blink several times.

You remember.

Not necessarily in every detail and in order, but you remember.

You remember Lia, how much you hate that nickname of Wally that others give her, your relationship, your first kiss and the long weekend she took you to Switzerland.

You remember.

Your hands shaking, you’re getting out of bed. You’re as wrinkled as if you’d been running a whole game. Other memories are jostling in your head, but the only thing you want now is to go see Lia.

"I’m going to Lia's!" you shout at Mackenzie down the stairs.

You barely take the time to throw your coat on your shoulders before going out and slamming the door. When you see the rain falling on London, you congratulate yourself.

********

It’s with frowns that Lia picks up her phone some time later. There’s basically no reason for Caitlin to call her so late.

"Hello?"

"Lia? It’s Caitlin… Listen, I’m calling you from Mackenzie, she doesn’t have your phone number and uh… Did Y/N make it to your house?"

"Y/N? No? Why would she be at my house?"

Other voices are audible behind Caitlin and there are different noises before Mackenzie’s voice sounds in the phone.

"She left my house almost two hours ago, without her phone, telling me she was coming to your house."

"She’s not here" Lia replies, standing abruptly on her couch, feeling panic take hold of her. "Why did you let her go by herself?"

"I thought she ordered an Uber or something. But without her phone…"

"Do we call the police?" asks Lia.

"They will laugh in our faces" replies Katie’s voice, which is apparently there too.

It’s not surprising if Mackenzie went to see Caitlin. But this is probably not the time to ask these questions.

"I’ll go get my car and do some research in the neighborhood" Lia decides.

After deciding to do the same and giving herself directions not to turn in the same places, Caitlin and Lia hang up their phones before starting to look for you.

For your part, it’s not very glorious. Persuaded to find the way back to Lia’s house now that your memory has returned, you have dug into the streets without thinking too much. Except that you suddenly had a hesitation, then another and a third, which eventually led you to no longer know where you are. Or where you’re from.

To top it off, it’s still raining and you haven’t taken your medication to fight your chronic headaches since the accident.

Long story short, you are now in tears, sitting on a sidewalk of an unknown street, in the rain.

Finally, while she had lost hope, Lia sees your silhouette sitting out in the light of a lamppost. Her cry asking Leah, who came to the rescue, to stop, gives her a start of cardiac arrest. But the blonde obeys and Lia hurries out of the car, running in your direction.

You jump suddenly when someone sits next to you, your first reaction being to get as far away from that person as possible. But you realize quite quickly that it’s Lia and anyway she doesn’t leave you much choice by squeezing you suddenly in her arms. Hard.

“God, are you ok? What happened?” Lia asks, taking your face between her hands to look at you.

“I thought I can remember where you live, I needed to see you but then I got lost and I didn’t have my phone with me.”

“Why didn’t you call me?!”

Lia raised her voice a little and you flinch, but the Swiss woman seems to regret it as soon as it happened. She takes you once again against her, her arms firmly tightened around your body. It makes you feel safe. You’re tired, exhausted to be honest. But you know you still owe her an explanation.

“I wasn’t sure you will take my call. You said you will come to see me, and you didn’t even if I’m at Macca’s since almost two weeks now, and…”

“I’m so sorry” Lia cut you, looking at you with tears in her eyes. “But I just… I couldn’t.”

“It’s ok” you breath before staring deep into her eyes “I remember.”

A silence passes. Lia is looking at you, too.

“What?”

“I remember. My past, my childhood memories. It’s you who have a fireplace in your living room. I remember you, mein Schatz. I remember us.”

After that, it went a little chaotic. When Lia starts to cry for good, Leah almost gets out of her car, but then she see you both kiss and she understands. She takes her phone to ring Caitlin and let you some minutes before taking you both back in her car. She drops you at Lia’s, giving you one big hug before leaving you.

********

Hours later, you’re in Lia’s bed after a good hot shower. Lia gave you some fresh clothes and you can’t stop smelling them. They smell like her, like your girlfriend.

Your girlfriend who is actually looking at you like you will disappear at any moment. You can’t blame her though, so you just grab her hand and take her against you to kiss her.

“Why didn’t you tell me everything?” you mumble after the kiss.

“They didn’t want me to. They said it would be too much for you or that you won’t remember everything if we told you the truth. Your brother fights with the doctors against it, but he didn’t have the last word. I should have fight against it too, but I wanted what was the best for you, and they were the doctors, so…”

Lia shrugs, her head on the cushion, still looking at you. You can’t imagine what she went through.

“It must have been so hard for you” you whisper, stroking lightly at her face

“It was. But I knew I had to do if I wanted to have you back at some point. But then after you choose to go to Mackenzie’s and I kind of freak out. What if, even if you remember in some days, you realize that you’re in love with her and not me anymore?”

“I don’t. She always had been my friend, nothing more. It has always been you, since we crash your team” you add with a smirk.

You met Lia during a friendly game between Switzerland and England in 2022. Leah Williamson had made the presentation between you and since then you never stop talking. She asked you on a date after two weeks of texting, you said yes and everything went great since then. Even if you’re a West Ham player dating an Arsenal one.

“I thought you were with Leah, the first days after the accident” you confess at your girlfriend.

Lia frown, looking at you oddly.

“Why did you?”

“Dunno. You were like always together, but I understand now. I’m glad Leah was there for you.”

You are confident in your relationship. Even if the fans seems to like Lia and Leah together, you trust your girlfriend and your friend deeply. Plus, you’re kind of a fan of their friendship. Maybe people would find strange that your girlfriend went to live with another girl like Lia have done when Leah was injured, but you didn’t. You know how good Lia’s heart is.

“I love you” Lia whispers, before kissing you.

You smile against her lips and she doesn’t let you the time to answer before kissing you once again, hard this time. You let her. You still can tell her how much you love her later.

_________________________________________________

It’s way longer than I thought at first 😅