#tw: leukaemia

[kirstythejetblackgoldfish]

I’ve been reading on X that Asma requested to get a divorce from Assad, do you think this is true? I hope this isn’t true and is just rumors or gossip.

It sounds like complete and utter bullshit to me

She's got acute leukaemia and the source is CNN Turk so...

[anxious-scrambles]

I’ve suffered from depressive episodes my entire adult life and for most of my later childhood.

I was probably 7 or 8 when I first started to have negative thoughts and an often deeply troubling focus on my own mortality. Obviously at the time it was just “wow look at that morbid kid”.

I think my dad was the only person who saw it for what it was, and I came to understand as I got older that it was because we pretty much had the same twisted up negative self talk.

He never infantilised my concerns and always made me feel better and safe. Even if it was 3 o’clock in the morning and I was screaming outside my parents bedroom door because “I can’t stop thinking about dying.”

As I got older that stayed. When I was about 27, 28ish I went through a horrendous period of depression that nearly took my life. Every day, that man sent me messages of support. He knew I didn’t feel up to talking or spending time with anyone but so long as I replied, even if it was just with a smiley face or something, he was happy to know I was still going. A message a day to let him know I was still breathing.

When he spent months at a time going through intensive chemotherapy, he would do the same for me. Just a little message every day, even if he felt like absolute shit, to let me know he was alright.

It wasn’t so I didn’t worry about him.

I know Tumblr probably isn’t the place for this but I guess the relative anonymity makes me feel happier saying it but, there’s literally no one else in my life that both understands how it feels to feel worthless and also take the time to keep reinforcing the message that everything is okay. It’s just a check in. Just messaging to see how you are. It’s crappy, but we’ll get through it.

Right, Monster-Child?

I was still Monster-Child well into my thirties.

Monsta Monsta

Monster Child from the Black Lagoon

Spawn of Beelzebub

It all still makes me laugh.

This is the last message I ever got from him.

He was dying of leukaemia. He was in his final days.

He died eleven days later after a ten day coma.

He was worried about my mum because she had covid.

And he was checking in.

I wish he was still checking in.

Anyway… that’s oversharing for you. I wish everyone in the world could have someone to check in. Just a message every day.

Take care.

Take care.

Take care.

[littleprincessfawn]

Broken Girl Journal - 1.4.24

Just spent the morning sitting at the toilet of my mum's bathroom retching and throwing up. Have asked if my ex could please come pick me up. She's agreed but he's not allowed in her house which is understandable. I'm just too ill from this leukemia medication. I hate that I wrecked myself so much for this holiday. And one brother only stayed a night and another didn't come up at all, if I'd had some help with my son it would have been doable. No one understands just how seriously sick I am.

(big sad angry rant under the cut)

My kid wants me to do a pool noodle fight with him in the backyard and I can't even stand up how the hell am I meant to do this. I want someone, I want a family, I want friends, I want people that will help me through this, I want people that will take care of my son while I'm too ill to. He keeps having to not do any of the things he wants because I'm too sick. It's not FAIR on him, he should get to have a pool noodle fight in the backyard. I wanted to have other kids. I wanted to have a partner.

I have to be everything and I can't and it's messed up. I just want someone to love me enough to love my son. To make my son a priority. To realize he is important and needs help.

I'm so sick, I feel absolutely awful. I just want to rest. My mum asked if my ex could help my son and he does but I don't want him in my life I don't want him as my only support and help, plus most of the time he just ignores him and plays games on his computer and my son still comes in to me because he wants human contact and I don't blame him.

I just want to be at home in my own bed. I just want these feelings of guilt over my son's wellbeing to stop.

Deep down... I feel angry. I'm so furious. I don't know who at, the world maybe, but really it should be at myself. I don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend. I don't have a stepchild or another child. I have failed to build a family for my son. I have failed to be worthy of love and commitment. I see other people who have kids but still manage to find new life partners and be happy and I just feel this deep anguish and self-hatred because why do THEY deserve to be loved and begin a new life, when I'm left stuck in the wreckage of my old one. Why don't I deserve love? Why do I deserve to be in the situation I'm in, with a sex offender in my house, trading my sanity/safety for survival. Everything is disgusting and I hate myself so much. I hate how deficient I am.

I know I need to work on myself and improve myself. But I feel so sick. I just want to sleep and rest and treat my body gently while I fight this leukemia. I want to treat myself gently.

But I feel like I don't deserve gentleness or kindness. If I can't be loved then what's the point of even trying. I have so much strong love within me. And part of me is so broken, I'm starting to feel like no one deserves my love, I'm starting to hate the world, to hate people, to hate anyone who comes into my life and pretends they want me.

I hate that I have leukemia too. I'm full of hatred and pain. But I try to keep a cute exterior shell.

I could be so good, if I was given the right environment, if I was as lucky as others are. Other people just are loved for who they are. I hate myself for not being enough, or for being too much, or whatever it is. I hate myself for being unable to be loved.

[alea-says]

Okay - ways Daniel Buckley could have become Danny Williams....

Switched at birth

Both boys are sick and at the same hospital. Possibly even both for leukaemia. They end up getting switched and it doesn't get realised until much later... this one has so many options

Someone at the hospital sees how the Buckley parents are and decide that no child should be raised by them.. so when it becomes apparent one child isn't going to make it, switches them with the idea that the living child is going to the more loving family

Buckleys parent's hatred of nicknames gets them in trouble. Daniel Buckley decides he wants to be called Danny and refers to himself as such. New staff is taking the Buckleys to see Danny (or the kids to see their parents) when they're like no, we're here for Daniel. So staff member then swaps which child they're taking to which parents....

Mix-up when the child dies... Buckley parents don't even take the time to properly look at their dead son and immediately have the body taken away for burial, etc. By the time the Williams are like, this isn't our son, Buckleys have already left with no way for anyone to contact them.

Both boys get infections. One passes away. The other recovers, but with memory loss. Hence Danny never being like, hey new family

Switched prior to Daniel Buckley getting sick... there is a car accident. Both boys are injured, accidental mix-up at the hospital and they each go home with the wrong family.

Same as above, but baby/toddler Buckley is injured worse than baby/toddler Williams. Margaret decides she wants the healthier kid and switches them out. Only to later have the 'healthier' child she stole get sick

The fact that I am currently on a Hawaii Five-0 kick, and that Buck's older brother's name was Daniel means my brain currently keeps trying to come up with a way for Danny Williams to be Danniel Buckley.

Like, where the Buckleys think he died, and Danny doesn't know he's not really a Williams, etc.

I don't really have anything more than that yet, but I just want Danny to be Buck's older brother. And sibling height jokes. And Steve and Buck doing crazy stunts together. And Uncle Buck with Grace and Charlie.

They could be related, right?

[willboland]

.

[doughbrainer]

TW: CANCER, DEATH

*Apologies For The Bad Quality, I Had To Download This Off Myself From Discord Instead Of How I Usually Upload Content To Tumblr*

HELL YEAH!!! SANDERS SIDES OC ANGST TIME!!

Okay So I've Been Hearing This Song EVERYWHERE On Tiktok And Instagram, I Wanted To Partake In This Trend But It Was Hard To Figure Out What Characters I Wanted To Do This With Because My Original Thought Was A "What If" Situation Between Patton And Logan BUT THEN I Remembered Some Of My SS OC Lore And I Was Like

"FUCK IT, CANON OC ANGST!"

For Some Context

Snake Fella Is Janus' Father (Kind Of Obvious) And The Punk Lad Is Virgil's Father

Before These Two Went Onto Their Relationship With The Respective Mothers Of Their Kids, These Two Use To Be In A Relationship But Eventually Broke Up To Reasons I Don't Know Yet

Eventually They Went Onto To Have Their Kids And Vincent (Virgil's Dad) Would Eventually Be Diagnosed With Leukaemia, Also Known As Blood Cancer And Eventually (As You Probably Figured) Dies

What's Shown In The Video Is Ethan (Janus' Dad) Remembering And Reminiscing On His Time With Vincent

Honestly I Should Post The References I Have For These Guys Here Too As I Had To Remove Them All From Instagram Because They Weren't Protected From META AI (Booooo Tomato Tomato, I Hate AI)

Anyways, Expect That Soon!

[fitrahgolden]

Should You Need Me: 2 - You were just thinking of me

[TW: Mention of cancer and resulting death.]

Anthony jogged up the stairs to Benedict's flat. He’d rushed over that evening after learning that Colin was there as well. He opened the door with an uncharacteristic flourish. "ABC, assemble! We're going out tonight, brothers.” He stopped short when he saw Benedict’s girlfriend. “Oh, hey, Sophie. Uh, feel free to join us."

Benedict, Sophie, and Colin all looked at each other, obviously in a silent conversation. Anthony didn't have the patience for whatever this was.

"Well? Come on, then. Get ready."

"Anthony…" Benedict started, exasperated.

Anthony shook his head dismissively. "Whatever it is, we'll talk about it on the way."

"But we aren't going anywhere, Ant. We're having a hang here." Colin said before taking a swig of his beer. "Come sit."

Anthony crossed his arms as he rolled his eyes. "No, Col. I'm not gonna 'come sit.' What is this?"

Benedict laughed. "It's called a night in. I hear tell it’s very popular with the post-uni crowd."

"Excuse me.” Colin feigned offence. “I'm only just post-uni, for the record. Check out this babyface."

"Feel free to join the one man pub crawl, then." Sophie looked over from the other side of Benedict.

"No, no. Don't kick me out. I take it back. I'm old. Ancient, really."

"You're really making me go out alone?" Anthony was getting restless. He needed to go out.

"No one's making you do anything. You're the one who makes all the decisions for us, remember? What with the whole two years of experience you have over me."

"Then I'm deciding this for you. You lot are coming with me. And, Ben, do you really want to have a contest over who’s had more experience taking care of this family between the two of us?" Anthony winced at saying it, and Ben winced at hearing it. Fuck, I really am an arsehole.

Sophie put a comforting hand on Benedict’s thigh and patted. "What's going on with you, Ant?" she asked gently, which confused Anthony. She was speaking as if something was actually wrong.

"Nothing's going on. Why?"

"You're going out a lot. Even for you. We're worried your dick is gonna fall off from overuse." Colin said, the second part earning a smack on the back of the head from Benedict, though they were both laughing.

"You know what? Fuck you guys." Anthony turned to leave.

"Anthony, stop. Really, please tell us what's going on. It's sort of starting to feel like… Well…"

"Just fucking say it, Ben."

"You haven't gone out this much since Dad."

Anthony’s jaw clenched as he blinked rapidly. Surely not.

"That's why we think something's going on." Colin said, uncharacteristically solemn.

Anthony stared at his brothers. "You've got to fucking kidding me. Especially you, Ben. Do you even realise what you're saying?"

Anthony's patience ran out as Benedict tried to find the words to respond.

"Well, this has been grand. Thanks for the intervention. Now, if you'll excuse me."

Anthony left Benedict's flat, ignoring his brothers' pleas for him to stay and talk. What a load of bollocks. There was no way Kate fucking Sharma was bringing him back down to the place he was after his father died. The very idea of it was an insult–to Edmund Bridgerton more than Anthony himself. No fucking way. In fact, it'd been two weeks since he met Kate at that first appointment. He was well over whatever that shit was. Now, he was just having fun, like he always did. Like normal. This was all normal. Kate Sharma who?

—

Appa had really liked Tom. Moreover, he had liked him for Kate. Before anyone else realised it, Appa knew Tom was in love with Kate.

Kate and Tom met in secondary school and hit it off pretty much immediately. Tom was kind and earnest. Kate made Tom laugh and they both loved school.

Kate's father, Maaran, was diagnosed with leukaemia when she was fifteen years old. From that point forward, Tom was always there for her, for her whole family, really. By Kate's eighteenth birthday, Maaran was receiving at-home hospice care. Her mother, Kaveri, had all but moved into his home with his second wife, Mary. The two women leaned on each other heavily during Maaran's last months, so Kate turned to Tom. He was her shoulder to cry on, her support when Kate practically became her little sister's primary caretaker. He was her person.

During one of the many afternoons Kate spent lying with her father in his hospice bed, she couldn't hold back the steady stream of silent tears as Maaran talked about the kind of future he envisioned for his eldest daughter. A future he wouldn't be a part of.

"Do you think you'll get married, Chellam?"

"I don't know, Appa."

"You're right. No one is good enough for you."

Kate wanted to laugh, but couldn't find it in her. "I don't… I really don't think I can get married without you there." She choked the words out.

Maaran clicked his tongue and pulled Kate closer to him. "Illai, Kathani. I'll be there. I'll be right here." He pointed to Kate's chest. "Right?"

"Right." A whisper was all Kate could manage. She grabbed her father's hand and interlaced their fingers before she put both their hands back over her heart. "You'll always be right here. I promise."

The two rested their heads together. After a while, Maaran chuckled to himself. "Tom will surely be heartbroken if you swear off marriage."

Kate's red, puffy eyes squinted in confusion. "What? Why would Tom care?"

Maaran shook his head. "Because that boy loves you."

"I love him, too. He's my best friend." Kate shrugged. She wasn't following.

"And you're his. That's never going to change. He also happens to be in love with you, though, Chellam."

Kate shook her head vigorously. "That's not true, Appa. Why… Did he tell you that?"

"No. He didn't have to."

"How do you know, then?"

Maaran's sigh was drawn out. "Kathani. You know how I love Amma but I'm in love with Mum?"

Kate nodded.

"Well, when Tom looks at you, it isn't like when I look at Amma. He looks at you the way I look at Mary."

Kate was at a complete loss for words. After a minute, Maaran ran his hand over his face.

"Don't… Ah, maybe I shouldn't have told you. I'm sorry, Chellam."

"No, it's OK, Appa." Kate rested her head against her father''s chest.

"Look at me, Kathani." Maaran cupped Kate's face as she complied. "It doesn't have to be him. It doesn't have to be anyone. But, just know, if he finally wakes up to how he feels about you, if you love him back, if you two want a life together… Know that I am certain you'll make something beautiful. Just… No matter what. Whether it’s marriage or moving away from home, or… I don’t know. Anything. Don't close yourself off to something you may want because I'm not going to be in your life in the same way we thought I would be, eh? Please."

—

When they were twenty-one, Tom asked Kate out on a date. She said yes. Three months later, he asked if they were boyfriend and girlfriend. She said yes. Three years later, Tom proposed. Kate said she wasn't ready. After two more years, Tom proposed again. That time, she said yes.

Kate's parents were best friends who got married without being in love. It probably seemed laughable to some that Kate admired her parents' marriage, considering Maaran and Kaveri were only married for five years, divorcing when Kate was three. But the way her parents explained it to her when she was older, the way she understood it now, she knew their marriage wasn't a failure. They loved each other and they loved Kate. She didn't care that it didn't look the way other people thought it should. 

But Kate didn't tell Tom she wasn't in love with him. That was the big difference. She didn't think she had to tell him since she knew she and Tom would have a good marriage–a good life– regardless.

All this was going through Kate's mind as she inexplicably stared for far too long at her calendar, at the next appointment she had booked with Anthony. It was coming up in a month. No, it wasn’t an appointment with Anthony. It was an appointment at Bridgerton Formal. Maybe she'd be working with one of the seamstresses. Maybe she wouldn't see Anthony at all. And that'd be fine. Great, actually.

Kate was on the right path with Tom. A path to happiness.

Kate didn't need to be in love. She thought.

[bellafarella]

hii 💘 so i had this idea

TW/illness. (please be safe)

what if Buck starts feeling sick and then after few tests, he discovers he has leukaemia, just as his brother. pretty ironic huh? he was born to save his brother but he couldn’t, will someone be able to save him?

also, anybody feel free to use this prompt if you like it

Hi anon!

Thanks for thinking of me to write this prompt for you 🫶🏼

It’s a little too angsty for me to tackle but I am posting this so that if any buddie writers would like to write it they can!!

[astroyongie]

Tw// cancer,death

The passed loved ones reading is so accurate I was surprised, I felt a weird attraction to black obsidian and found the first person with cancer, I had my uncle who died 14 years ago in mind, he died of leukaemia and was the best person in this world and I miss him so much, I'm glad he is okay and didn't feel pain, thanks yongie🥹

Oh the chills I got just from reading this. I am so sorry for your loss and I hope that the reading helped you the best it could. I'm sure your uncle is on a better place now and the fact that they indeed felt no pain when leaving, really is a reliving feeling for us that feel regret when losing someone we love

[971518k]

under the gun (2024) (언더더건) [review]

tw: poverty, child labour/slavery, violence, misogyny, alcohol misuse

<under the gun> is a romance web drama directed by hong chunggi. You can watch the drama on Viki or YouTube

disclaimer: the review is based solely on my opinion on this drama. since my job title is related to evaluation and i love theatre, i wrote this review to practice my skills in evaluating screen and theatre plays. the review is not sponsored. the bias occurs in my review process as i am focusing on evaluating zuho’s performance, and i am an advocate for combating poverty and slavery. the review has some limitations. i am evaluating the series through westernised/european lenses. moreover, i am still learning the terminology and techniques used in theatre. finally, i am sorry for any spelling or grammatical mistakes. english is not my first language, so i hope i am not too difficult to understand, but please let me know if i can clarify anything for you.

the storyline describes the situation in which go gun (baek zuho) is a teenager who works in a poker club and a convince store (child labour/slavery) to support his family. his sibling, his sister, is hospitalised for a long time after diagnosed with leukaemia. additionally, one of his parents, his dad, is a former poker champion who eases his pain by misusing alcohol. cha seyoung is a transferred student who encourages gun to put his fears aside and tackle his problems head-on. to save his family, gun is joining the korean poker league.

at this point, i am focusing on evaluating baek zuho’s character, go gun. apologies for not evaluating any other character development but it takes time to write a good series review. go gun is an interesting character development. on one hand, the drama deals with the child labour, and the stigma and discrimination against children in schools, especially those who are not interested in going to college or uni. it is important to remember that children have different needs, views, experiences and beliefs that can affect them in the classroom. it’s a story for another day. regarding child labour, the drama didn’t dig into the details of this particular issue but it is a good start for the audience to read about it. i like the fact that zuho wants to gain some perspective on the social issues through his work. he is an extremely great fit in dramas and films where the main plot is about social justice and social issues.

go gun is rounded, meaning that he captures the audience’s interest and attention go gun has a complicated life. the audience gets the information about his motives and his actions which lending the story more credibility. go gun shows interesting moments in the series as he experiences conflict (internal or external). regarding the character growth, go gun reveals how he experiences sadness, anger, jealousy, anxiety or love. in the arresting scene of the drama, zuho reveals his feelings and emotions, anger and frustration as he tries to escape the situation he portrayed his emotions in a very convincing way. the scene was so intense and emotional.

despite the lack of a strong character development, zuho’s character becomes the center of attention and makes the story interesting to watch. yet he had so much to offer. go gun’s character is not well written and there are small changes in character growth. overall, zuho’s is both dynamic and rounded character that i like because he is so engaging and relatable that I empathize with that character.

considering that the character is a bit more complex than the others I would like to make suggestions on zuho’s acting abilities in the futurte. zuho failed to convince the audience that he is a survivor of slavery, or someone who is at risk of poverty or struggles in his life research should have been conducted on the basis of child labour and poverty before the filming began. for example the script writer, the director and the actors should have visited supporting centres and talk with the beneficiaries. by that logic the actors could have a better understanding of the circumstances in which the survivors of slavery are living. i highly recommend zuho to go through the chekhov or stanislavsky’s acting methods in order to get a better idea of the situation in which the story is being told.

to improve his acting, i have attached the same list of recommendations for his performance in this post. zuho has improved his voice over since the last time, but he needs to work harder on his tone and put emotion into it as he voice is huskier than it should be.

last but not least, I have identified prominent themes and underlying messages conveyed by the drama. I use two examples in this review, the way they depict the relationship between go gun and cha seyoung, and alcohol misuse firstly, the script writer has a misogynistic stereotype of women as they depict cha seyoung as extremely overprotective, manipulative, possessive and obsessed without any boundaries or respect to go gun. she is very curious about his life and his relationships. it feels like she “sneaks her nose everywhere.” cha seyoung and go gun have a push and pull relationship to the point where it becomes very uncomfortable and boring. It seems that both have attachment issues and they are just try to find comfort in each other. it’s a red flag to me.

secondly, i don’t like the way they depict alcohol misuse. it’s either a superficial stereotype of alcohol misuse or just bad acting/script. the writer should have been used evidence on this issue in order to avoid criticism. moreover, the actor should have got in touch with support groups to get a feeling for his role.

the production value is good but I am not providing an in-depth analysis of this one because it takes time to write a good review.

to summarise, zuho’s performance is very interesting and i recommend you watching <under the gun> in your spare time.

[hellohelloiris]

The dept collector - part 1

Heyy! I am going to be posting my story on here. I will post two paragraphs a day! Enjoy x.

TW: murder

Vixa

‘It has been established. I’m sorry Derek, but you have been diagnosed with leukaemia.’ The doctor tells us. My mother breaks into tears. My dad just got diagnosed with a horrible illness. I feel like it’s getting hard to breathe. I memorizes all the fun moments me and my dad have witnessed. ‘Heart, can you come with me for a second?’ Asks another doctor while knocking on Mr Heart’s office door. ‘Yes, one second.’ Dr heart answers. ‘Please, excuse me.’ He tells the family. The doctors are now walking on the hallway.

Dr Lung

‘I haven’t seen you before, Dr… Lung? Are you new in this hospital?’ Dr heart asks me. What do I say? ‘Yes, that’s right.But I will take your place, and nothing will be the same again.’ I answer while choking and dragging the real doctor into a room. I hold a knife to his throat and cut it right open. Dr Heart falls on the floor with blood dripping out of his mouth. Killing someone in such a long time feels amazing. Back to my own world! I walks back to Heart’s office. ‘You guys are free to go home. We will contact you if Derek needs to come back to the hospital for any medication.’ I tell the family while keeping my eye on Vixa.

[kirstythejetblackgoldfish]

[handfulxfhearts]

OC Bio: Rosaline O’Connor

TW: s*xual abuse, murder, domestic abuse, PTSD, delusions.

Age: 25 years

DOB: 25th October 1998

Gender: cis-female (she/her)

Sexuality: bisexual

FC: Zooey Deschanel

Rosaline was born in Galway, Ireland, but moved to Belfast with her fraternal uncle when her parents died when she was 15. Rosaline’s mother was abusive, but she was extremely close with her father; she thought the world of him and when she found out that her mother had been cheating on him, she lost it and stabbed her to death. Her father, instead of turning her in, was so distraught that he killed himself; she has blocked out all of her past trauma, to the point where she has convinced herself that it didn’t happen.  She would tell you that her parents were both drug addicts that neglected her. Her uncle, who, although he had initially rescued her from a toxic situation and given her the chance to start over, began to s*xually abuse her, was later killed by her as well, though she would tell you that he died of Leukaemia. She moved to the UK not long after completing a music degree in Belfast. She keeps diaries, which all contain momentos of past lovers, such as fingernails, hair strands, their litter, discarded items, underwear etc. Despite convincing herself that her problematic behaviours aren’t that bad, or don’t exist at all, she also keeps newspaper clippings of her past ‘disappeared’ lovers/crushes.

Personality traits: Rosaline is loyal and doting, but also obsessive, possessive and rather unhinged when it comes to relationships. She has stalked every person she’s ever been with, which usually drives them away, resulting in a less than pleasant end for them. She doesn’t fall easily for people, but when she does it’s hard and fast. She’s a hopeless romantic and is obsessed with love, and therefore goes about finding it entirely the wrong way. She lies, manipulates, gaslights and twists the facts to fit what she wants. She is quite delusional and can convince herself so strongly of things that she will genuinely believe them to be true. To anyone who does not know this side of her, she is charming, alluring, and confident. She is a talented vocalist, and has a good sense of humour, and doesn’t shy away from meeting new people. People are often beguiled by her due to her charm and the way she carries herself.

Appearance: her hair is extremely dark brown, practically black, and her eyes are piercing blue; they are the most striking feature she has and can either look stunning or manic. She has very pale skin and rose pink lips, giving her a somewhat Snow White-esque appearance. She is slender, but a lot stronger than she looks. She enjoys a 50s rockabilly inspired look. She always wears heels.

Triggers: any hint that a partner may be being unfaithful, anyone flirting with her partner, physical violence, being told she’s crazy (are you trying to get stabbed?)

Mental/Physical issues: she suffers from delusions and psychosis, there is also PTSD and a lot of maladaptive daydreaming, to the point where she thinks her created scenarios are real. She has lower back issues due to being kicked down the stairs by her mother when she was younger.

[littleprincessfawn]

((CW: medical post about my leukemia, and treatment symptoms.))

Argh my leukemia rash... it subsided but never went fully away but was something I could deal with... But now it is back again, just as bad as it was in the early stages of taking the medicine.

I'm fairly sure this rash is caused by the TKI medication I'm taking, though leukemia itself can also cause a rash.

For me the rash is just on my forearms and my scalp. On my scalp it feels HOT. Have you ever bleached your hair? If you have, you will know that chemically hot burning feeling. That's what it feels like on my scalp.

And the thing I've observed is this, after a few days of that heat and irritation of my hair follicles on my head... My hair will start to fall out again.

I hate leukemia. I hate hate hate hate it. My hair is cute. I don't wanna lose it. But oh well. If taking this medicine made ALL my hair completely fall out, I would still take it.

I will never let leukemia win. I will always fight it with the best tools possible. I'm lucky I'm alive to have this whinge about my (admittedly trivial) itchy skin and hair loss.

Life > Hair.

[exclusivenyc]

We just spotted ELIAS PERALTA  ( LUCAS JADE ZUMANN ) and JOANNA “JO” KANG ( ADELINE RUDOLPH ) hopping off a plane in the City that Never Sleeps! Make sure to send in your account within 24 hours and read our NEW MEMBER CHECKLIST before getting settled. Can you make it in the Big Apple?

Not everyone can say they’ve been to the Big Apple, but  [ ELIAS PERALTA ], a [ 22 ] year-old [ CIS MALE ] has lived in [ QUEENS ] for [ ONE YEAR ]. This is the city of dreams and [ HE ] knows it, because they came to NYC to be a [ BROADWAY STAR ]. Well, that and as a/n [ BROTHER ] to [ ZEPPLIN ]. Living in the city means they meet all kinds of people, but everyone always seems to think they look like [ LUCAS JADE ZUMANN ]. They even got away with free cab fare once because of it!

HEADCANONS:

Elias has always been a momma's boy.

He fell in love with Broadway music when he was young and knew thats what he wanted to do when he got older. joined theater in school.

he works as a waiter now to save up money

(prongs, 25, eastern, he/they, n/a)

Not everyone can say they’ve been to the Big Apple, but  [ JOANNA "JO" KANG ], a [ THRITY ] year-old [ FEMALE ] has lived in [ UPPER EAST SIDE, MANHATTAN ] for [ FOURTEEN YEARS ]. This is the city of dreams and [ SHE/HER ] knows it, because they came to NYC to be a [ DIPLOMAT FOR THE REPUBLIC OF KOREA IN THE USA ]. Living in the city means they meet all kinds of people, but everyone always seems to think they look like [ ADELINE RUDOLF ]. They even got away with free cab fare once because of it!

HEADCANONS: (Cancer TW) — Joanna's father works most of the time in Washington DC at the Korean Embassy for the United States, while the rest family lives full time in New York.

— Joanne grew up entitled, spoilt. Regular Nepo baby kind of deal. It would be her sisters Leukaemia diagnosis that would bring Joanne's perspective on life crashing down. That's not to say she's completely humbled just yet.

— It's been expected since Joanna was young she'd follow her father in his political footsteps. She began work under her father between Washington, Boston, and New York. And Sometimes within South Korea itself.

(odessa, 26, aest, she/her, suicide/self harm)

[helenofsimblr]

Lyra: Im gonna need that drink.

Lyra picked up her scotch and started to drink it down, Grace Robinson stared at Lyra a moment and shook her head slightly, in a somewhat disapproving fashion.

Grace: You drink and smoke too much Lyra. Just my observation. One of these days all your indulgences will catch up with you.

Lyra: I’ll take my chances.

Grace: Spoken like a true addict.

Lyra: What would you know of it?

Grace: More than you do.

***

Lyra sat down and the two talked, the mother in law she always had but never met it was a strange sensation and situation she found herself. Lyra smoked her cigarette quietly as Grace explained what happened to her, there was a lot of Bob’s childhood she had no clue about…

Grace: So essentially, Bob’s father walked out and left us due to various reasons mostly just breakdown in our marriage, the trouble was Jeff had an eye for the ladies, and me wearing a wedding ring meant nothing. Bob was nothing like how you know him. You knew him after the Isotope 9 infusion, the pre isotope 9 Bob was a whole different person. He was, well, your son Guy, were it not for the blonde hair if you put Guy and and teen Bob together, you wouldn’t tell them apart. But Bob had a lot of health issues; asthma, allergies, diabetes. He wasn’t a strong boy… Not that his father much cared… and he used to, “mistreat” Bob.

Lyra: Mistreat? You mean, hit him?

Grace: That’s right. Bob was terrified of his father, and with genuine reason. Unlike you I didn’t smoke regularly, but once or twice a week or two weeks I’d have one. Once Jeff came home early and caught me having a cigarette on the porch with my friend. He uh… punished me for that later. Believe me, I can still feel it… Bob tried to help me, and, Jeff back handed him and sent him flying across the room. After that, the next day, I packed my bags and left with Bob. Thankfully, Jeff didn’t follow us… 

Lyra listened. 

Grace: Jeff eventually tried to come back into our lives. Bob was working at the space force at this time, I was sick; Leukaemia. I didn’t have a lot of time left. I didn’t want him there, Bob and Jeff had a confrontation, this time however… Bob won the fight, easily. Jeff ended up with a fractured spine, a punctured lung, and two broken arms, not to mention bruises everywhere. 

***

Lyra: Isotope 9… 

Grace: Yes. I like to tell myself that my Bobby just didn’t know his own strength at the time and that what happened was… accidental. But, Bob owed him, and on that day, I think Bob’s debt was paid in full. And then some… 

Lyra exhaled a cloud of smoke in front of her. She realised that Bob was in his early 20′s when he was part of the isotope 9 experiment and he always told her that his mom died in his early 20′s. 

Lyra: Why tell me all this?

Grace: Because I need you to know, where my son came from, what he and I went through. You either become the thing you hate, or you become something else. Something better. I know Bob hurt you Lyra, I have watched over him his entire life. He didn’t want to, or mean to hurt you Bob was a victim of wrong doing, and not all of it is Kyleigh’s fault either… there are others involved in what happened to Bob. But that being said; I owe you an apology, I thought for sure you had his spirit. I should not have come to you so angry. Please forgive me. 

Lyra: Its ok, you’re his mom. Its your job to worry about him.

Grace: I will continue my search.