#tw: children used as leverage

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Until We Meet Again Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. In a LONG POST, I’m writing today about New Siwaj’s incomparable drama, Until We Meet Again.]

TW: suicide, suicidal ideation, psychological trauma

Gah. I am so psyched to be finally sitting down to write my thoughts on Until We Meet Again, but I’m actually at a bit of a loss on where to start. There is SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT.

I think, where I can start, is to first say that this was, in my opinion, AN ABSOLUTELY SPECTACULAR SHOW. I did NOT expect this, at all. I’ve been around the way with New Siwaj, the UWMA screenwriter and director, a few times now for the OGMMTVC -- his writing on Love Sick, his work with Cheewin on Make It Right, and his work on MAME’s novel in Love By Chance have all been on the OGMMTVC list. I know that Between Us, the UMWA WinTeam continuation, was considered mostly a let-down for weak writing, and that New’s more recent shows, including A Boss and a Babe and Double Savage, were viewed quite critically (although I am a Double Savage apologist, for which I’ll explain my viewpoints later in this post). 

So. What I did not expect from 2019′s UWMA was to experience so many layers in a drama à la the work of Aof Noppharnach. Yes, I cannot believe I’m going here, to compare a New Siwaj drama to Aof’s oeuvre, but damn if I will, because good lord, New took his magic hat of tricks, pulled out THE GOOD STUFF, and made it all work. 

This is a list of themes that I saw in UWMA, that will help me structure this long write-up, but by no means should it be considered complete, as I’m sure I’m missing themes that you all likely caught in your watches and re-watches:

1) A new narrative structure for New -- balancing the impact of side couples by leveraging focus, equally, on two MAIN couples 2) The continuation and end of the 2019 trend of reincarnation and spiritual connections to love 3) Intergenerational queer trauma (micro-level) 4) Generational acceptance of queerness (macro-level) 5) Food and its Proustian effect on memory 6) Reflections on filial piety and the devastating effects of expectations -- and how children and parents seek redemption, particularly in New’s work

And before I even dive into THIS list, can I just say: MY GOD, FLUKE AND OHM. And Earth and Kao! But FLUKE AND OHM. Jesus, does New have an eye for talent -- from the Make It Right guys, to Perth and Saint, and then to Fluke and Ohm. I was seriously TAKEN with their chemistry. I did hear from a number of folks during my UWMA live-blogging that they can’t rewatch UWMA because of Fluke/Pharm’s rendition of the blushing maiden trope, but for my tastes -- I think the way he rendered the trope was really necessary to communicating Intouch’s story, history, and emotions, and just -- Fluke just ATE this role, my gawd. And Ohm/Dean responding in kind vis à vis Korn’s regret. YOW. It’s been a few days since I finished the show, in a total RUSH of drama hunger, and I’m still shaking my head and MARVELING at their performance.

Okay, back to the themes list. So, early in my Thai BL journey in the fall of 2022, after I had watched KinnPorsche and The Eclipse as my first two Thai BLs, I watched A Tale of Thousand Stars (way before the OGMMTVC was born), and noted that I appreciated the lack of side couples in the ATOTS storyline. I now realize, through the OGMMTVC, that side couples are both a BL trope and a byproduct of the drama styles from which BLs were born, the ensemble-based dramas like Love Sick, Senior Secret Love, and Kiss/Kiss Me Again.

New’s Make It Right -- while beloved in my heart, for the chaotic duos of TeeFuse and FrameBook -- WAS messy, with all the other couple stuff happening around it. That, along with Love By Chance, made me wonder -- why do BLs that center fabulous dyads with sizzling chemistry take away from that energy with all the side couple action? Even Together With Me, a non-New Siwaj and non-GMMTV drama, got sidelined in part with a VERY questionable side couple plot in BrightFarm.

Reflecting back on KP and The Eclipse, I had that question in mind as I started UWMA, and wondered where the Alex and WinTeam storylines were going to go. But, frankly, I ended up appreciating what NEEDED to happen with DeanPharm and KornIntouch, because -- the original novel storyline clearly demanded that these two couples, who were NOT side couples, but MAIN couples, needed a MAIN spotlight for their collective story to be told. @clairificusrex mentioned in a liveblog comment (THANK YOU, LOVELY HUMAN!) that New Siwaj benefitted in the screenplay from having a wonderful original novel to work with, and while I don’t read Y Series canon, I can only imagine that this was indeed the case.

So, New, in order to hew to the novel, had to perhaps hold back his usual instincts to muss up the main couple vibe, by centering DeanPharm and KornIntouch. With that control necessary to the story -- I think the narrative STRUCTURE of the drama just blew open. It was FASCINATING, it drew me in, and the structure allowed for another New predilection to be leveraged WELL, in his love for flashbacks. @lurkingshan, you mentioned that your taste wasn’t necessarily aligned with New’s fancy for flashbacks, which I totally understand -- I think flashbacks hurt the overall narrative structure of Double Savage earlier this year. But I think, here for UMWA, they were necessary, and I might very well be apologetic to that considering what I DID see in Double Savage by way of the story that New ended up screenwriting over there in regards to intergenerational family trauma (again, more on this later in the post).

This narrative structure lent itself handily to the next four themes on this list, all of which deal in memory, in spiritual roots, and/or in the generational passage and inheritance of trauma and emotion. 2019, as we know now, was a big year for shows themed around Thai spiritual culture and/or reincarnation. We have He’s Coming To Me, we have Dew the Movie -- we have art here, queer-centered art, that does not lend itself to happy endings, that depicts, through reincarnation or, in the case of HCTM, a ghostly purgatory, how DIFFICULT it had been to be comfortably queer and/or openly out in past and present Thailand.

And then UWMA comes along, telling TWO generational stories, intertwined by the red thread, but also, in the words of the WONDERFUL @bengiyo, connected by Korn and Intouch’s intergenerational queer trauma, the most PERFECT coinage of a theme for this show. In 1988, when Korn and Intouch die, they cannot be out. They cannot even be SECRETLY in love. Their bad dads use the foulest of language to describe their love (much like Phop’s dad in Dew). And Korn kills himself, and Intouch follows.

And what we learn, through Dean and Pharm, are the emotions, the regrets, the LEARNED BEHAVIOR that Korn and Intouch have picked up on in the afterlife, embedded in Dean and Pharm, that keeps Korn and Intouch’s love alive, with CORRECTIONS and ADJUSTMENTS made by Dean and Pharm that reflect on how not only Korn and Intouch’s love has changed and improved, but also how Dean and Pharm are learning how to love EACH OTHER, themselves, as they adjust to their OWN belonging to each other, in Pharm’s own words. GAH -- my aching heart. (Thank you to @lurkingshan for talking this through with me early on in my UWMA watch.)

I mean. THE DEPTH OF THIS. Intouch is a terrible cook, and Pharm is like, a restaurant-level chef?! Pharm is so resistant, and Dean is so FORWARD? (OHM THITIWAT, GAH!!!) (Listen. Pharm. P’Deeeean can grab MY butt, okay?) (See what I did there, @lurkingshan and @bengiyo? THANK YOOOOUU.)

And Pharm’s blushing maiden approach. Yes, I will also admit, that sometimes, it was a little cringey. But I think the blushing maiden trope was really necessary to the story -- ESPECIALLY IN THE CONTEXT of Intouch’s anger, ciphered through Pharm in the last episode. And I think that Fluke Natouch ultimately rendered the trope beautifully -- again, especially against the gorgeous ending of the show. Oh, THAT CONDO SCENE, PEOPLE. I LOST IT. 

Of course, Intouch would want to hold back through Pharm in the present day. If Intouch DIDN’T hold back vis à vis Pharm -- he might lose Korn again, if Pharm missteps with Dean. Intouch may have felt that HIS forwardness lent to their troubles -- so Intouch holds back, through Pharm. And Intouch ultimately communicates his love for Korn differently in the afterlife, more hesitantly -- through a resistance to intimacy, and through food and cooking in Pharm, which itself was another amazing move in this show.

Listen. Even my pinned post says what I value in dramas, not just in BLs. You give me food in BL, and I give you my heart. But also, let’s talk about the meaning of food in Asian dramas for a second. It’s no coincidence that MANY Asian dramas and doramas center food, including my favorite BL of all time, Kinou Nani Tabeta/What Did You Eat Yesterday?. If you don’t know Asians, of any ilk -- let me make a BROAD continental and sub-continental judgement. ALL WE THINK ABOUT IS FOOD, lol. While I’m with my family, while I’m working, while I’m writing meta -- I’m thinking about food, I’m thinking about what I want to cook, what I want to order, how I can mix the cuisines I love (Thai-Indian curries, anyone? YUM). Malaysians literally boast about having multiple meals, way past three meals, a day. We Asians are proud of our cuisines, and we want y’all to be EATING, A LOT, and to try all our dishes. (ITSAY, your Hokkien mee is calling me...) 

But, also: FOOD MEANS FAMILY. Let me say it again: FOOD MEANS FAMILY. You FEED the people you LOVE, with delicious food. Shiro and Kenji. Kurosawa and Adachi. The guys in Jack o’Frost. The guys in The Eighth Sense. Omg, even Kinn and Porsche. We’re seeing it in Tokyo In April Is... And Pharm, to Dean, Intouch to Korn.

And BESIDES Intouch/Pharm becoming a great cook, GOD, the story ALSO INCLUDED the Proustian reference of the madeleine and involuntary memory -- but in SUCH a stunning way, as to RECALL DEAN’S FAMILIAL MEMORY of eating his grandmother’s Thai desserts -- his grandmother, Intouch’s sister, and how Dean could get an indirect spotlight into Intouch and a depth of an understanding of Intouch’s happiness besides his love for Korn. And how Pharm EMBODIED that love for Thai desserts through Intouch’s family lineage. Oh, just get me MESSY, PEOPLE. FUCKING GENIUS SHIT. 

Memory on memory on memory. Dream on dream, nightmare on nightmare, tears and red threads, inherited trauma, intergenerational trauma. The micro-level of what Dean and Pharm had to live with on a daily basis in their recollections of Korn and Intouch. The macro-level of what Pharm and Dean experienced when all of their parents accepted them for who they were as queer individuals, and their partners, as well. How Dean’s dad could ACTUALLY RELATE to Dean himself, because Dean’s dad had been rejected by Dean’s mother’s family. And how that ALLOWED Dean’s dad to accept Dean and his choice to be with Pharm. How that trauma was relieved, how Dean and Pharm DID NOT HAVE TO PHYSICALLY RELIVE what Korn and Intouch had gone through, and how those involuntary memories that Dean and Pharm carried vis à vis Korn and Intouch traumatized them until Dean and Pharm could RECEIVE their OWN familial acceptance.

The LAYERS OF THIS SHOW. Before I get to the last theme on my list, I really just need to metaphorically slam my palms on an allegorical table and give New Siwaj a huge hug, because THIS SHIT IS NOT EASY TO PROCESS ALL AT ONCE, and I can’t wait to do a UWMA rewatch to try to catch more (and I’ll likely need to write another meta, ha, when I do that). I mean, again, just to use food as an example of a kind of storytelling TOOL to INDICATE memory, especially in the context of lost and found love, of intergenerational trauma and relieving regret -- BRILLIANT. BRILLIANT.

And. The last theme on the list, the theme of filial piety, of Asian family systems and devotion and loyalty and expectations, and the devastating effects on the micro-individual level (and even the macro-social level as well) that those expectations can have. 

So, I watched Double Savage, screenwritten by New Siwaj, out of order from UWMA. Very quickly, since many of you have likely NOT watched Double Savage because it’s not a BL (but it DID have Ohm Pawat and Perth Tanapon in a hose-off scene -- you can’t take the New Siwaj out of New Siwaj, amirite): Double Savage is about Korn (Ohm P.), a middle son who is branded a jinx by a HORRENDOUS Thai-Chinese father, and how the abuse leveled on Korn by his dad has intergenerational ripple effects across their family and community. 

Let’s break this down. I now know that New Siwaj does bad dads from Thai-Chinese lineage very well. UWMA’s Korn is expected to take over a mafia business. His dad is disapproving that Korn doesn’t want to take over the business -- which is an UNQUESTIONABLE and EMBEDDED expectation in most Asian family lineages (hello, Jeng and Step By Step) -- AND Korn’s dad is ALSO disapproving in Korn’s love for Intouch and vice versa. Separately, Intouch’s dad is disapproving that Intouch is in love with Korn, a mafia scion. 

Modern times are modern for a reason. 1988 was 31 years from 2019. I want to emphasize here the understanding that Korn and Intouch likely had -- that besides running away, there was no other existence for them to be together than to kill themselves and be together in the afterlife. And running away, and still living and existing, would have been a guilt-ridden and dangerous existence, for what Asian children are expected to do and live for vis à vis their parents. Korn likely HAD NO OTHER IMAGINATION for a life that he could live OTHER THAN to take over his father’s business and to be a heteronormative adult in the late 1980s. And, to top that all off, both of their dads were fucking assholes. 

I really liked how this was juxtaposed to the relationship between Dean and his father. Dean was clearly set up to be as stubborn as his dad. Meaning, at least to me -- that Dean was FAR less likely to be told what to do by his dad, that Dean would and maybe COULD, stand up to his dad. We didn’t see it happen, but I could have imagined Dean not accepting “no” for an answer from his dad to accept Pharm. (Makes you think about Pat, Pran, and Ming, no?) Dean had Korn in him. Dean/Korn was NOT GOING TO TAKE THAT SHIT AGAIN, and that was CLEAR. I want to emphasize: THAT’S BIG. That was BIG on New Siwaj and the UWMA novel writer to include that in the story. That’s parental defiance. That needed to happen in order for Dean and Pharm to survive. As an Asian, that gives me a kick of welcome energy.

But I also really want to note what New Siwaj did at the end of the show, something so deft, it might have left non-Asian viewers wondering what was going on. In the condo scene, Dean and Pharm are ciphering Korn and Intouch -- and when Korn’s father shows up in the wheelchair, Korn’s father knows what’s happening.

And Korn apologizes to his dad. Korn had already apologized to Intouch, but Korn also apologizes to his dad, and to his brother, and to his nephew in Sin. This really gets me, y’all, I understand this as an Asian. Korn is APOLOGIZING for the PAIN he caused in his family AND in Intouch, because -- filial piety. He knows what he did to himself was devastating to the Asian family system he was born into, to the Asian society he was born into, and he apologized for the suicide he committed unto himself that caused that extra-social pain. 

Like. As crazy as that sounds, it’s also an INCREDIBLY SOPHISTICATED way to ACKNOWLEDGE that Korn had broached a social boundary, and Intouch had followed him. THAT IS A HELL OF A LAYER TO ADD TO THIS STORY, ONE THAT I DID NOT EXPECT, and that SHOOK ME at the end of this series.

A similar situation happened in Double Savage. Despite the horrendous psychological abuse that Double Savage’s Korn received from his father -- an adult Korn ends up apologizing to his father for the trouble that HE may have caused. Now, what I appreciated about Double Savage was that THAT dad was like -- no, no, *I* should be the one apologizing. BUT, I want to indicate and emphasize here, that BOTH storylines acknowledge that Asian children NEED to know, SHOULD know, ARE BORN TO KNOW, that their actions have collective effects on a wider family system. We are born to understand and think like that. We are not dealing with an individualist Western perspective here. (I literally FLIPPED when I realized that New Siwaj has had MULTIPLE CHARACTERS NAMED KORN APOLOGIZING TO BAD DADS, and I’m an Asian over here UNDERSTANDING WHY, and I’m just like, pfffftt GGGAAAHHHH.)

Why am I harping on this? BECAUSE: vis à vis EVERYTHING ELSE that is lineage-based in this story -- from children being born, to intergenerational trauma, to reincarnation -- UWMA is structured around an über-macro theme of worlds being linked, by threads, by genes, by history, by spirit, by trauma. We are collectively linked. Babies are born -- we saw many babies in this show. Children belong to families. Lovers belong to lovers. Dean PHYSICALLY belongs to Intouch’s family, and Pharm to Korn’s family. A happy existence will be when a family accepts a child’s partner. Happiness is in a family growing, not a family shrinking. Warmth and growth and love happens when a happy family sits at a table and eats together. 

As Pharm says at the end of the show -- oh, my HEART -- “I belong to Dean.” Yes, you do -- because you have become Dean’s family, and Dean has become Pharm’s family. Korn’s family BELONGS to Intouch’s family, and vice versa. They are destined, MEANT to be linked together, AND TO BE FAMILY, ALL TOGETHER.

Kurosawa and Adachi become family in the Cherry Magic movie. WDYEY’s Shiro and Kenji become family by way of living and eating together. Even if BBS’s Ming doesn’t acknowledge Pran -- Pran is Ming’s family. LOVE. MAKES. FAMILY.

What Korn apologized for was the impact his decision had on his family — WHILE HE WAS IN LOVE WITH INTOUCH, WHO KORN’S FAMILY WAS NOT ALLOWING KORN TO MAKE AS KORN’S NEW FAMILY in the 1980s. Korn was able to apologize in the afterlife — BECAUSE Dean and Pharm DID WHAT HE AND INTOUCH COULD NOT DO, by way of generations, by way of family acceptance, by way of inherited trauma and STOPPING that inherited trauma in its tracks -- very much like Pat and Pran banding together and doing the same for themselves. Dean and Pharm did the hard work of making the relationship a real one, in every aspect of their intimate, micro-level family lives, to a public, external existence in the world. Korn could FINALLY experience the release of GUILT he had towards Intouch and towards Korn’s family, now that Korn’s love for Intouch could FINALLY flourish outside the constraints of filial piety through Dean. THIS IS HUGE. I have no words to tell you what the BRILLIANCE of this means to me as an Asian. LOVE MAKES FAMILY, and LOVE THAT IS ALLOWED TO FLOURISH GIVES YOU THE RELEASE TO BE YOUR TRUE SELF. 

Dean had learned from the inherited trauma that he got from Korn that he needed to stop the trauma train in his tracks, and he did, and he confronted his father, and his father blessed the union of Dean and Pharm. When Dean took the gun away from Pharm, and embraced Pharm, Korn and Intouch KNEW that they could finally be safe in the afterlife. Dean and Pharm were the ciphers that finally ALLOWED Korn and Intouch to exist happily together in spirit. Korn, especially, could exist freely, now that he was relieved of his guilt. Dean and Pharm were, LITERALLY, Korn and Intouch’s FAMILY -- the FAMILY that ALLOWED the FINAL RELEASE for Korn and Intouch to be together as their true selves and spirits. 

And Dean and Pharm confirmed that in FRONT of the family member, in Korn’s father, that had originally caused all this pain. The intricate layers, communicated to a primarily Asian audience, of Korn apologizing to his father, and then of Dean embracing Pharm and confirming their love AND Korn and Intouch’s love, in front of that former barrier -- that is GROWTH and FLOURISHING in the face of generational defiance, and about as sophisticated and eloquent a communication of familial transcendence as I could possibly imagine seeing in Asian drama art. WHOA. I’m a little out of breath with this.

Wow. And speaking of being one’s true self: I deeply loved that Dean and Pharm took a three-month break. I loved that Pharm was smart and strong enough to demand a break to understand if DEAN and PHARM -- INDEPENDENT of ANYTHING they had INHERITED from ANYONE -- actually loved each other and belonged together. Fuck. Pharm was like, no -- this one’s on me. I need to see, outside of ANY INFLUENCES, FROM ANYONE, ANYWHERE -- if I love Dean, if Dean loves me, and if we belong together. Brave. Badass.

AND, I truly loved how Korn and Intouch -- DEAN AND PHARM’S FAMILY -- came BACK to Dean and Pharm’s dreams to offer thanks. I loved how, in the end, the past and his family came back to give Pharm that little contextual nudge to say to Pharm, it’s okay to love Dean for Dean, AND to love how you two came together, through Korn and Intouch. And Pharm could acknowledge, finally, that he belonged to Dean. God damn.

This story was so multilayered, SO complex, SO filled with a respect for love at its highest and most complicated levels. This story was filled with CRITICAL SCRUTINY towards Asian family systems and the trauma that those systems can render. This story was filled with an acknowledgement for the power of LOVE that those same family systems can offer unto children who NEED pillars of love and support (Pharm’s mom and brother, badasses!). 

Y’ALL. I just, I DID NOT KNOW that New Siwaj could DO THIS! I know that UWMA is considered his best show, but like, this is his best show BY A LOT, A LOT. Double Savage, in contrast, had a lot of narrative and structural issues that detracted from the core stories of filial piety that were ultimately very important to tell. 

UWMA did not fall into that trap. It was SMART, it MOVED (FOR SEVENTEEN EPISODES! I SLAMMED THIS SERIES! I could have watched MORE, I cannot believe I’m SAYING THAT!), it was. It was just BRILLIANT. It was an ode to romantic love, to family love, to the power of memory. In 2019, it joined He’s Coming To Me in a burgeoning echelon of cinema-influenced BLs in storytelling, soon to be joined by I Told Sunset About You, ATOTS, and others. It took the sad endings of He’s Coming To Me and Dew the Movie and said -- not today. Today, we will let love LIVE, let QUEER LOVE live, in REAL LIFE, in REAL TIME, and we will not let our lovers live in regret. We will take queer love, we will give queer love FAMILY, and we will give it the HONOR IT DESERVES.

Until We Meet Again is a must-watch of the highest order, and goes on the shortlist of shows that I will refer to as one that makes me proud to be an Asian. It was easily one of the most important shows I’ve watched in this project. All credit to New, Fluke, Ohm, Earth, and Kao for a PHENOMENAL experience -- my heart and mind have been bettered because of this show. 

[FLUKE. AND. OHM. Fluke and Singto coming thru in Shadow the Series? Sign me the FUCK up. Actors on actors. WOW. Did UWMA ever introduce me to another crop of dudes who can fucking tear up a screen. I had SO much fun watching UWMA, whew!

And, yep. I had to follow this up with 2gether, ha. I’m going to spare myself a little pain, if y’all don’t mind, and combine my write-up of 2gether with Still 2gether. I know there’s a lot to be said about the lack of intimacy in 2G, which I can’t wait to dive into, but I can’t help but to also run into another wall of analysis with dear P’Aof’s work in S2G. I’ll make it all work!

After I get myself together with 2gether (HA) -- it’s ITSAY time. I will be planning on watching ITSAY TWICE before writing, as I’m preparing myself to catch EVERYTHING I can before I pen words. Stay tuned.

Status of the list below. As always -- if you have feedback, send it my way!

1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 3) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 5) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 6) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 7) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 11) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 12) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (I’m watching this out of order just to get familiar with OffGun before Theory of Love -- will likely not review) 13) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 14) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (not a BL or an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 15) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 16) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020)  17) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (watching) 18) I Told Sunset About You (2020) 19) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) 20) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) 21) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 22) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS 23) Lovely Writer (2021) 24) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) 25) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 26) Not Me (2021-2022) 27) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 28) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 29) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 30) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 31) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 32) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 33) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 34) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 35) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 36) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults)]

[acaciusbride]

TW for ab*se under the cut. An explanation for my absence & also why I haven’t had the mental capacity for writing & posting new content even though I desperately want to…

The worst thing for me, personally, about being a domestic violence survivor, it isn’t the trauma anymore. It’s not that I’ll most likely have PTSD for life.

It’s that the person who took nine years of my life, spent years breaking me down as a person, abusing me in every single way possible except for with his fists, isolated me from my friends and family… faces no consequences.

So while i carry the burden of being labeled a survivor of this, of being a victim of grooming, of being a SA survivor, and all the baggage that comes with that…

He faces no consequences. In fact, he gets to just carry on his merry way. Gets to go off and play happy life with a prefab family after spending years telling me I wasn’t worthy of marriage or children, using that as leverage.

I’m damaged for life, traumatised after years and years of emotional, financial, psychological and s*xual ab*se and he won’t see a single day in jail. He won’t have to register as a s*x offender. The world looks at what was done to me and deems it ?? Acceptable.

So yeah. If I’m quiet at the moment? This is why. Because I spent nine years living a nightmare and I won’t ever get even a single day of justice for it.

I desperately want to write and post fics to escape but the toxicity in this fandom at the moment makes me feel even more unsettled and unsafe, so.

Idk. I just want to feel seen and safe.

[tartarusrising-rp]

OOC INFO

Name/Alias: Arrow Pronouns: She/They Age: 31 Timezone: PST

IC INFO

Character Name: Kiri Stephens Character Age: 48 Character Birthday (with year): September 4, 1976 Gender & Pronouns: Cis Woman; she/her Affiliation: Tartarus Occupation: Drug Manufacturer Faceclaim: Simone Kessell

BIOGRAPHY

TW: colonial violence/imperialism, involvement with a cult and gangs, so much drugs

Her story is one rooted in subtle violence, from the moment she was born, in a hospital surrounded by harried doctors who don't ascribe to her family's cultures and traditions. The underlying threat that if her parents refused, they would be separated from their newborn. Instead of flax, they snip the umbilical cord with metal scissors. Instead of giving the placenta back to the Earth, they discard it as medical waste. From the second she began to wail, Kiri was placed in a box that she is determined to break out of.

Of course, it takes time for her to even realize the box exists. Her childhood is mostly standard, assimilating into a world without knowing that another way exists. She learns about her history through short, sanitized paragraphs in a textbook, and not by learning from her elders. She is fifteen when she learns about the true weight of colonial violence on her family, how both of her parents were taken from their families as children and adopted by non-Maori couples. How they were ripped from their roots and that trauma still lingers in their bones, and how they sought to spare their own children from those horrors by outright avoiding their heritage at all.

At eighteen, she leaves home for the first time, to the United States to strike her own path. Unable to stomach the assimilationist tendencies of her family, Kiri heads to Harvard, intent on learning everything she could so she could use the system to her own advantage. It's bright-eyed and idealistic, and while she graduates with honors, she also learns the country still has their share of hangups with immigrants. Meeting Desmona Kingsley is what saves her from having to return to Aotearoa, a blessing that quickly turns into a curse.

The cult is not quite a cult when she is there. For a time, she understands Desmona's pain, accepts her reasonings, and supports her goals. But the facade cracks when Kiri brings up going on to get her graduate degree, and she once more becomes aware of the box she has been placed in. Leaving was difficult, despite its necessity, and she disappears with little more than her life and the clothes on her back. But that is all she needs.

There are few options for a non-citizen without valid papers, and she finds herself going from the Church to the Asphalt Demons in order to stay alive. She spends eight months as a sex worker before she leverages herself into a position as a drug dealer and manufacturer for the gang instead. It's steady and stable income, and their protection is as good as anyone else's. When Nikko comes into her life, the decision is made all the more clearer. She would do whatever it took to protect him.

Kiri meets Laure at 27, and the match is lit. They come from opposite worlds and she always wonders how much her wife knew about her before they even met. It isn't difficult for Laure to sway her over to Tartarus. After all, what could the Demons give that Tartarus couldn't? And wasn't it time for her to have a chance at happiness too?

Once again, she disappears in the middle of the night, only to appear on Laure's arm several weeks later. Tartarus debuts a new street drug, another shakeup to the relative peace between the gangs. The lines are drawn and the gauntlet is thrown, but when the dust eventually settles, few dare to do anything other than lob a few insults her way. She weathers them easily, confident and comfortable in her decision to save herself and her son.

Twenty years later and Kiri has yet to regret her choice. She lives at the pinnacle of comfort, doing work she finds interesting and challenging, with a family that supports her. She lives in the moment to the best of her ability, to be an undeniable presence that cannot be boxed away.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

fucking love the new chapter, so much good yummy dialogue and well done exposition.

also the zenin being fine with what they thought was happening to megumi??!!! like obviously we know gojo would never even think about it but the fact that they were willing to just let it happen so that they didn’t have to deal with what toji did??!!! do megumi or tsumiki know?? do nanami or shoko know?

my honest guess is that the reason why they would be so okay with that they thought was happening is because they genuinely don’t think it’s a big deal cuz shit like that happens in the compound itself. or they’re just disgusting rats who should have their children taken away from them.

*****TW for discussions of rape, non-con, and CSA*****

Nanami and Shoko know.

Tsumiki and Megumi don’t. They were both really little when this was all going down, and no one wanted to be like “hey GUESS what the people who are actively trying to get full custody of your brother thought Gojo was doing to him all this time and were super fine with it.” After, they tried to bury the hatch and play nice to make the custody agreement work as best they could, and after the custody agreement went to shit, Megumi was already so hurt by the Zenin that no one saw any point about making him feel worse about them. It wouldn’t have surprised him to learn that’s what they thought, though, nor would it surprise him to learn that they didn’t care. He fundamentally views himself as disposable to the Zenin, and this fits that worldview.

Nanami and Shoko know because they were part of the negotiations when this went down. They were operating as a team.

In my mind, when Tsumiki and Megumi were first adopted, before the Zenin realized Megumi had the Ten Shadows, they really were the closest they had been since Riko died. They all came together for the kids. They were starting to be happy again. They weren’t fighting so much and they had actual hope for the future.

Then the Zenin found out Megumi had the Ten Shadows, and things went to shit.

To me, the catalyst for everything going south was actually when they took off with Megumi and Tsumiki. The Zenin weren’t budging on anything less than full custody with no contact from Gojo. They were willing to go to war about it, even if they were guaranteed to lose. Their pride was freshly wounded, and the fact that this was the third time (to them) that the Gojo had taken the Ten Shadows from them was too much to bear. The higher ups were just content to let clan infighting play out, especially since I think it’s canon that they’re mostly Kamo. They were going to let the entire drama play out and see if they could leverage the Zenin and Gojo attacking each other into more power for themselves, and then Gojo fucking took off with the Ten Shadows and Shoko. Like, Nanami was there too, but he was really the one who had the unique skillset to offer. They didn’t care about losing him the way that they cared about losing the others. His skill set wasn’t irreplaceable the same way the others were.

At the end of the day, power is capital in this world, and Gojo’s got more power than anyone. Megumi, supposedly, will be in the same boat as him one day. Shoko is the only healer they have.

The higher ups wanted Gojo to burn bridges with his custody battle. They wanted him to use up his goodwill and influence and leave him vulnerable to them swooping in when he had weakened his own position to take advantage. What they did not want was for him to up and leave with other irreplaceable members of their society.

Gojo and the others leaving made them take very constructive efforts to isolate each of them and break them. Gojo was overworked, frustrated, and never given a break or anyone to share his load. Shoko was supplied with harder drugs and pushed to take them. Nanami was left alone on campus more often than not, constantly reminded of his own losses and ineptitudes, always made to feel helpless to change what was going on around him. It tore them apart, eventually, and the higher ups spent months to accomplish exactly that. It took a long time to rebuild.

But when negotiations with the Zenin were happening, they hadn’t been shattered yet. They were a team. And they handled that moment as a team.

Honestly, when they found out that’s what they thought gojo had taken custody for, it really was a big “what are we even doing this for moment.” They almost pulled the plug then and there. And when they’re torturing themselves over how they hadn’t didn’t, this is one of the big moments they come back to. Like, Naobito offered to Gojo’s face to just find someone who looked like Megumi to replace him like they were exchanging a fucking T-shirt at the mall.

Gojo already was completely enchanted with Megumi and Tsumiki at this point. They all were. Those were their little village babies and they loved them so, so much. It was an absolute slap in the face to insinuate Gojo only was taking care of them because he was a pedophile going after megumi, and it sort of tormented them to think that he could have been and the zenin would have been fine with it.

See, I think the narrative totally has the space to interpret that as it being an issue on the zenin compound. Inbreeding is already a thing there, and there’s one panel in the manga that arguably implies that Naoya assaulted Mai. However, I personally included the detail because 1) I thought it was the sort of propaganda that the Zenin would spread about Gojo, and 2) it really emphasised that they Zenin genuinely do not love Megumi outside of his technique.

Like. Gojo’s the favoured son of their biggest rival. He just waltzed in and took one of their kids, in a society where kids are considered property. They wanted to slander him as much as possible, and “you know why he really wants him” is low hanging fruit. It sort of blew up in their faces when Megumi went from their least to most important member on the turn of a dime, and all of their members started freaking out, but the clan elders pivoted that hard into “he obviously took him because he was stealing our ten shadows again” and that became the narrative.

The second reason is that it leaves no doubt that they don’t actually love Megumi.

There’s no actual familial bond that makes them want him. If that existed even a little bit, they would have tried to help him before they found out his technique when they thought he desperately needed it. They didn’t. They laughed about it. He was their blood and they thought he was vulnerable and hurt, and they did not care. This is not about love or family bonds. They only want him because of his technique.

I do think that the zenin do still genuinely believe that Gojo will or has sexually abused Megumi, but I don’t think they think of it in terms of sexual abuse. This is because they think Gojo will do to him what they’d probably one day do to Megumi if they had him.

Techniques are passed through blood. Power is passed through blood. That means megumi is someone who they likely want to have kids, who would then be raised to be clan leaders. There’s value in making sure he has kids, and I just don’t see them taking “actually no, I hate you and don’t want to have kids with my literal cousins” as an answer. And I don’t think the Zenin would think of it as sexual abuse or rape if they took matters into their own hands. It’s about procreation. The mechanics are a means to an end.

I think the Zenin expect the Gojo to have Megumi procreate with members of their clan in hopes of one day stealing the ten shadows from their bloodline. I also think they have active plans to kill any kids Megumi had with Gojo’s bloodline, if they weren’t able to steal them back.

At the same time, I think that if Megumi did ever get taken back by the zenin clan, they’d eventually do something themselves to ensure his bloodline continues. Like, I want to be enormously clear that that did not happen in the recent five day span that they had Megumi. But I do think they’d cross that line eventually. Because even apart from procreation, it’d be a reason to force Megumi to stay.

Like. Most of the clan is deluded about him. Not all of them are. They want him to stay and lead the clan, mind, but they don’t think he’s going to suddenly wake up and love them when they spend most of their time beating him. They have the kid who’s supposed to one day be one of the most powerful beings in the world, and they kicked the shit out of him. He openly hates them. They need something to keep Megumi in line when he’s too powerful for them to keep down, and kids would do that.

He can’t leave the clan. He’d be leaving the kids behind. Even if he took them with him, what if they don’t want to go? What if they don’t want to leave their mother? What if they don’t want to leave the only life they’d ever known? How could he even provide for one or more children without the Zenin when he’s presumably been locked up on the compound for years and has no resources apart from them?

The only way they have ever gotten him to cooperate is by holding Tsumiki over his head. They know they can put him on a leash if they get people he loves, but they don’t want him to have Tsumiki. And if they don’t have a more acceptable alternative, they can make one.

Him having kids in the clan may keep him from running. It may keep him from turning around and killing all of them. It would boost clan morale, because the ten shadows blood was continuing through the Zenin. I don’t see this as the line they aren’t willing to cross. And I don’t see them losing sleep over it either.

[manekinoodle]

(tw: implied abuse)

Houston was so very much like their mother.

Dallas had told him this only once - an accident. He wishes he hadn't, but he was 20 and drunk and the kid smiled with the same dimples in his cheeks. With the face of a woman who had used her children as a way to get child support and sympathy (but mostly the former). The woman who resented, no, hated them for losing their usefulness.

He resented his mother for never being a mother.

He'd resented his brother for being like her.

He'd seen it from when the baby was born. The same blond hair, the same eyes. As he grew, the same smile, the same laugh. As they both walked along the path of crime, the same cons, the same masks.

Seriously, the kid had become a conman like their mother.

Dallas had his father's features. His mother had always told him that in the rare gentle moments after she opened those letters with the cheques. When she was halfway through a bottle of vodka he was just a reminder of the man who left her.

She had been nicer when Houston's father came into the picture for a little bit too. But she had driven him away and lost out on child support from that man. The child she had had none of the leverage she had expected. And Dallas had realised, watching her clutch her chequebook, that she had never really wanted them at all.

Houston was now a far cry from the fearful little boy making himself invisible to the screeching harpy that birthed them both, always looking for something to take her anger out on. But every so often Dallas dreams of shielding his little brother by acting out and being more noticeable. In turn, Houston had learnt how to disappear in plain sight.

He used to only do that with their mother. But Dallas had fucked up after they got out. And now his brother disappears for everyone.

Sometimes, on stormy nights, Dallas still feels the grip of his kid brother on his leg.

[aaroncward]

STATISTICS

BIRTH NAME :  Aaron C. Ward ALIAS : Ron AGE : 40 DATE  OF  BIRTH : July 15th, 1984 RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Engaged HOMETOWN : Wilmington, North Carolina TIME IN WILMINGTON: Since Birth RESIDENCE : Wrightsville Beach OCCUPATION: Fire Captain FACECLAIM : Brett Dalton

trigger warning: death, illness

EDUCATION : Business degree at Duke, Fire Academy. OCCUPATION : Fire Captain GENDER : Cis-Male PRONOUNS : He/Him SEXUALITY : Straight

HAIR COLOR : Brown EYE  COLOR : Brown HEIGHT : 6'2'' BUILD : Athletic ACCENT : American LANGUAGES : English, Sign Language TATTOOS : None

ZODIAC : Cancer LOVE LANGUAGE : Words of affirmation, Physical touch CURRENT HAIR STYLE + BEARD: ( x ) CONDITIONS : Sickle Cell Anemia ALLERGIES : None EATING HABITS : Lives on protein and fibers EXERCISE HABITS : Weights and the occasional treadmill when he's alone. SLEEPING HABITS : Light sleeper, prefers sleeping on his side.

ADDICTIONS : None DRUG  USE : None ALCOHOL USE : Socially

POSITIVE  TRAITS :  loyal, hard-working, strong, ambitious, persevering NEGATIVE TRAITS: private, secretive, reckless PHOBIAS : None FEARS : Losing his career, wasting his chances. HOBBIES : playing the guitar, reading, cooking foreign cuisine. HABITS : Whistles along to tunes, folds his arms when tense or uncomfortable, moves frequently when cold. USUAL TEMPERAMENT : Inviting, calm.

FATHER : Christopher H. Ward MOTHER : Marian M. Ward-Paisley SIBLINGS : Wesley Ward †, UTP Ward. PARTNER: Celene UTP (2021-present) CHILDREN :  None PETS : A Bernese Mountain dog called Sammy.

BIOGRAPHY

tw: death, illness.

Aaron was born as the oldest son into the Ward empire, well respected within the Wilmington borders and out. With his father having inherited the ownership of the grand Four Season Hotel, their family was soon to rise in wealth and reputation. The Ward family has been well off for generations on end, but even more so with his father's new position. It made sure that the Ward brothers had everything they would have wanted. Aaron however, had the wits and restraint of his father, rather than that of his mother. Marian Ward was known for her lavish expenses, something she passed through to her younger sons.

Rather than flaunting wealth to fit in with the popular kids, Aaron had always been the type of student to stand his own, eat lunch with the bullied kids and fighting back to those that would make fun of him or his friends. Not just for his name, but for his reputation that he was not to be messed with made others steer clear from him.

Aaron was diagnosed from a very young age with sickle cell anemia, an illness he had to learn to manage for the rest of his life. Yet it was agreed between his parents that they would keep his condition within the family, as to make sure that if Aaron was to ever take over the ownership of the hotel, his 'fragile state' would not be used as leverage for him to at one point step down. This was a lie that Aaron kept up for himself, not wanting others to judge him on his labels but rather on his actions and his deeds.

Upon having finished his bachelors degree in business, it had been every intend for him to start working for other businesses in the city to expand his horizons and experience before he would join the family business. Fate intervened when Aaron was at the right place at the right time, spotting a home fire while on a drive home. With the emergency services nowhere in sight, he had gone in when it was clear someone still had their infant inside. It had been his introduction to the world of firefighting, and though his action had been reckless, the fire captain on scene had told him that the fire academy could be a future for him if that was what he wanted. With his condition he knew it would be challenging, but Aaron never lived avoiding obstacles, and he went for it.

Miraculously, Aaron passed his firefighting training without his condition coming to light, which he knew was risky. His father disapproved, but after a conversation of how this was what Aaron really wanted, he gave in. It also gave way for his brother, Wesley, to step up and take the reigns, which caused a little friction between the brothers, as Wesley had been all too eager to rub it in Aaron's face that he wasn't the family disappointment.

Wesley truly did seem to have it all. Being the first pick for the family business, having a stunning girlfriend by his side, the wealth to flaunt -- which Ward Sr really despised, but learned to ignore -- yet Aaron kept being confronted with how his little brother didn't seem to truly appreciate what he had. He treated his possessions carelessly, would arrive at work late and neglect his relationship. Over the course of his relationship, Aaron found himself getting closer to Wesley's girlfriend, Safia. There were moments of offered support, encouragements of deserving better and even moments of kisses in heated moments and dark corners of the house that were soon forgotten, until one evening she came to him, obviously upset that she could no longer keep up with the relationship. With the sudden realisation that she had actual feelings for him, like he had developed for her, the two were going to take the plunge. She was going to call him and end things then and there so they could dating. A chance for Aaron to show her that she was deserving. And then, tragedy struck.

After his brother's funeral, things felt hard to piece back together. His mother was distraught, his youngest brother had gone to California to chase after a creative profession and his father seemed to bury himself in work, spending more time at the hotel. Aaron gave Safia space, knowing that they both felt overwhelming guilt, but it became clear that she had distanced herself from not just him, but his entire family. He tried reaching out to her after the pain had settled, just to see if they wanted to try. When his attempts had been answered by silence, Aaron eventually had to move on, whether he liked to or not.

He threw himself into his work, earning him one promotion after the other until eventually he got to call himself Captain of the firestation. It made hiding his condition easier, as he was no longer actively running into burning buildings on the daily but rather organising and directing from the outside. It was during one of his official functions where he met Celene, who had been working at the event. The two got to talking, which even got her into some trouble with her employer. The two parted with each others phone numbers, igniting something new, something exciting. It was a love that seemed to flourish, futures being discussed, being trusted with each other's secrets and conditions and keeping it safe. Their engagement was announced in the spring of 2024, to be held at the Four Seasons in the winter of 2025.

Aaron always deemed himself to be a man of honour, yet what he didn't expect was for his past feelings to resurface upon encountering Safia again, causing conflict and inner turmoil about what was right and what was wrong.

[thequeendomhq]

NAME. Nikandros AGE & BIRTH DATE. Unknown GENDER & PRONOUNS. Male & He/Him. NATIONALITY. Iskaran SPECIES. Witch FACTION. N/A OCCUPATION. Inquisitor FACE CLAIM. Jesse Williams

biography

( tw murder, immolation )

Long was his silence, 'fore it was broken.

"For you, song-weaver, once more I will try.

To My children venture, carrying wisdom,

If they but listen, I shall return."

  Nikandros should have inherited a great deal, but all that he was left with was what the young man could build with his own two hands. The world that he looked upon was not the one that he had thought to know, but was instead a figure of a shape reformed - wealth was the gateway to power, but there was nothing more dangerous than a man who carried the faith. 

  After everything Nikandros had lost, the Vanguard of Light seemed to hold all the answers. It was there that he could learn and he could grow. The Vanguard so much about the scourge of magic and the changing tides, while Nikandros thought their minds might have been small, and their ambition too little, he could admire the vitriol in which they followed their pursuits. 

  Eivor was Nikandros’s guardian, his ward, his stalwart protector, and his oldest friend. The soulbonded pair enlisted in the church where Eivor’s sword saw him rise through the ranks quickly, and Nikandros’s wit followed. He had always been inquisitive and taking to the virtues of the Light was second nature to him, it didn’t matter that similar magic he persecuted flowed through his veins because he’d deny it with every breath. 

  The more questions he asked, the more answers Nikandros received.

  “At this, his wounds healed, and he stood

And gathered up the ashes, and carried them

To the lands of the Alamarri, away from sorrow forever.”

  For what had been done to his friend, hating magic came easy to him, punishing those who’d abused their power was easy, and routing out witches where they were hiding was easier still. Nikandros was named Inquisitor and with him came the avenging flames of righteous fury, tempered and comforted by the will of the light, he sought to spread the Chant to the four corners of Taravell, and traveled the continent with his guardian at his side - working to do just this. 

  The will of the light served Nikandros’s morals well, across Astoria he pressed for the presence of witch kind, and across Astoria he marched those that he routed toward the flame. There was a righteousness to it, and a sense of justice when Nikandros and his guard would chase down the whispers of those who used magic to abuse those around them. A prayer to the One God and the magic that they coveted so greatly, was stripped away from them. Flames or devotion, the choice was theirs.

  Iskaldrik was known for its cruelty toward magic-users, it was an auspicious and wealthy country headed by a King descended from a fabled line. Power and opportunity with the potential for forces who may be willing to align with the Divine. These were the thoughts that permeated Nikandros’s thoughts as they worked to spread the light among the stubborn Iskarans; their traditions were still steeped in arcana and yet the druids had been hunted, and their sacred sites destroyed. That very mana that Nikandros hunted lingered about him, wrapping him like an unseen weave until he was inevitably captured and imprisoned. 

  Held back from the light, Nikandros’s good fortune saw his chains broken a fortnight after he was imprisoned; Aetheron descended upon Iskaldrik, the nation broke out into war, and the Inquisitor followed the refugees’s path. There he leveraged the hatred that the magi inspired, they, the great enemy of the Light, had destroyed so much before and now the Kingdom had failed to keep mana in check. The witchers, specially trained, fled, but those who swore themselves to the Light could rise through the church to defend themselves. 

  “Let the blade pass through the flesh, let my blood touch the ground,

Let my cries touch their hearts. Let mine be the last sacrifice.”

personality

+ charming, charitable, intelligent – Manipulative, vengeful, dogmatic

played by shane. est. He/him.

[butwhatifidothis]

Going through some cap flash fic notes and it got me curious , how much does edel know about the Goddess, Rhea , the Nabateans, and crest stones ?

Like Thales told Edelgard he turned her into a weapon that could burn even the gods but I can't tell how much Edelgard knows or what she believes

Does she know the Goddess exists and that Sothis is related to Rhea (child of the goddess)? I assumed Edelgard saw Sothis as a sort of silent goddess that humanity can't rely on for help, And saw Rhea and Nabateans as the Goddess' children, and I assume she knows Rhea is the Immaculate one so... she probably viewed the Nabateans as inhuman / 'godlike' beasts ?

I'm so confused by this whole situation!

She would know from the chapel incident (where Jeralt gets murdered) that Demonic Beasts come from Crest Stones, as that was the purpose of testing on the students. We know she knows this because she specifically pilfers the Holy Tomb for the Crest Stones due to wanting to use this power for herself (more clearly stated in the JPN version).

She would know that Nabatean blood does something to humans, due to Flayn's kidnapping and Remire. She also knows that Nabateans are of some sort of use to TWS, hence her keeping Rhea hostage to use as leverage against TWS in non-CF routes. The experiments also play into this.

She knows that Relics were made by humans, and aren't gifts from the goddess. Whether she knows that they were made from specifically genocide is unclear, although she does know that Seiros and Nemesis had some sort of bad blood (which she calls a "simple dispute," tho we of course know it goes infinitely further than that). It's also, if I remember right, unclear if she knows the exact reason why she needed a custom made Relic for her to use (with that reason of course being that Rhea isn't dead and so hasn't been scrapped for her parts).

She believes that a "so-called" goddess exists, that the "so-called" goddess is connected to Rhea and Byleth via a bloodline, and that Byleth has the power of the "so-called" goddess. She explicitly calls Rhea the Immaculate One... which she calls a vile beast, and which she explicitly seeks to obliterate from the world (along with Rhea's kin, aka Nabateans - again, more clearly shown in the JPN version). She tells Rhea that she never betrayed her or Sothis because she never believed in them in the first place... but also tells Dimitri that among those who have clung to their faith in the goddess, lost their souls, and lived without purpose, she could be "counted among those who have died that way as well." Which is pretty contradictory lol, she's lying in one of these scenarios.

So basically, she knows that Nabatean blood and their Crest Stones can grant power to humans (if one, uh, has no morals to speak of), she knows that Relics are man-made, and she believes there is some sort of being with some sort of godly-adjacent powers that Rhea and Byleth are connected to by blood. It's unclear whether she knows the exact details of the Nabatean genocide and the full truth of Relics' origins, but she does know that Nabateans are of some kind of value to TWS (enough to know she can use a Nabatean to keep them in line with her wants). Her beliefs are fairly unclear when it comes to actual faith, as she either lied to Rhea's face about never believing in her and Sothis or she lied to Dimitri's face about ever having faith in the goddess.

It's kinda hard to piece everything together because it's spread out, not focused on much, and/or actively contradicting itself, so I don't blame you for not getting it lol

[hologramcowboy]

I often wonder why Jensen is still together with Danneel and there are a couple of possible reasons.

As you have said their marriage was more of a business arrangement, so maybe the contract hasn't run out yet? There's probably a clause giving her a substantial payout if he ends the contract early.

Then there's the 'image' factor. Not only does he fear how it might make him look but he worries about what his family will think. He may have been brought up to see divorce as 'wrong' and a kind of 'failure'.

He doesn't want to deal with custody/alimony. Basically "It's cheaper to keep 'er."

What do you think?

I think Jensen's top value is his career. He wants to use the married man image to enhance his image. He also knows that as a "power couple" he and Danneel stand to make more money. Look at their history, everything they've ever done together has been money centered and even the catering to hellers and crazies, it's to get their money. They love leveraging people and don't actually care about others. You can see this in Danneel's "activism". She's about as involved as wallpaper. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Jensen can divorce her just fine, he will come out winning because people will side with him and he knows this. The reason he doesn't divorce her is because it's convenient to make more money together and he clearly is kinda greedy,I mean look at how he cares more about being away from home and making money then he does about his own children or giving his wife a few years to catch up on her career while he takes over with the kids. TW also shows how greedy the Ackles are.

I think Danneel is convenient because she is easy to manipulate, easy as a woman (she threw herself at him during TIH despite being set to marry another man who invested everything in her), she let's Jensen do whatever because she has no scruples and is only in it for the fame and money. Whereas, loving an authentic woman would mean actually having to love someone and think outside of himself. Jensen wants to live a comfortable life while also being free. Danneel fulfills her role and she's just an extension of the image Jensen wanted, nothing more.

[2oosterr]

▰▰ lt. eastwood [pg 2] ˎˊ-

ENHANCEMENT

[GRADE 2] Individual's physical strength increases with every injury sustained. Note that the severity of the injury affects the increments in which the individual’s strength increases.

▰▰

PERSONALITY

MBTI type - ESFP-T;  Extroverted, Observant, Feeling, Prospecting, Turbulent.

A comedian through and through, Eastwood will never pass up an opportunity to make herself and others laugh, even in the most dire of situations. She takes a lot of joy in annoying others and pressing their buttons, something which her observance allows her to do very effectively.

The one thing Eastwood values the most in others, and herself, is courage – and in turn, those who are cowardly will always find themself on her bad side. It is her belief that if you can't stand up for what you believe in, you may as well have no beliefs at all; complacency is for the weak.

Beau follows her own path in life, regularly disobeying rules and her superiors in favour of doing what she believes to be right. Despite this, she is incredibly loyal and would do just about anything for the people she cares about. She has a strong sense of justice, and is willing to do things that are considered immoral to get to the outcome she deems to be 'right'.

Her capacity for empathy is limited by her antisocial personality disorder, which sometimes leads her to take things too far, but she isn't too egotistical to avoid apologising when she is in the wrong.

▰▰

BACKGROUND (tw; sa, child abuse & suicide mention)

September 17th, 1987, Beau was born to Carl and Ida Eastwood in the small town of Encampment, Wyoming, the second of their three children. From the very beginning, she was a problem child; always getting into fights with her older sister and her peers, being uncooperative with her parents, and being generally argumentative.

As she grew older, Beau noticed the way her mother would favour her older sister Carrie, and while her father was much less obvious – perhaps only because he was hardly ever home – it was clear that he too preferred her more well behaved sibling. After her brother Everett was born, when Beau was six, it became obvious that it wasn’t just a case of her parents not liking her, because they showed the same disinterest for Everett too. She disregarded their authority from the get go, but the favouritism made her lose any lingering respect she had for them. Deep down she knew it was her fault they didn’t like her, but she retaliated because of her brother.

Tensions between them only grew as she got older. Beau didn’t do well in school, her limited attention and frustrations with her home life leading her to become a troubled student, which predictably made things worse with her parents with every failed report card she brought home. Carl was a Governor, and her mother was very concerned with his reputation, and having a child with such poor performance reflected badly on him.

When she was ten, and had a GPA of 1.0, Ida hit her for the first time. At first, she didn’t fight back; part of her believed she deserved it, she already knew it was her fault they didn’t like her in the first place, but another part of her bottled up all the anger she felt, over and over again until it inevitably exploded a year later.

When Ida made the mistake of hitting Everett, that’s what pushed Beau over the edge. She fought back this time, attacking her mother with every ounce of pent up rage she’d been stifling for her whole childhood. It was bad enough to leave a scar on Ida's face from how hard she scratched her, but they kept it quiet – just like Beau thought they would. With how obsessed her parents were with keeping up appearances, she knew they wouldn't breathe a word of what happened to anyone, not even the doctors.

After that, her mother left her alone. Where before she had an intense dislike for Beau, now it seemed she feared what she had created. She uses this to her advantage, of course, leveraging Ida's fear to get what she wanted; be it a note to skip school, or cigarettes and the keys to the truck as she got older, and most importantly, protecting Everett from their parents' wrath.

She lost her tooth when she was 16; got into an argument with one of the school's football players and it escalated from there. He may have knocked out her tooth, but he went home with a broken arm and a bruised ego. Though it mostly remained unspoken, everyone in Encampment knew what Beau was capable of. Her classmates saw her bloodied knuckles, and while they didn't know who she was fighting, they knew to stay away from her.

It carried on like that until Beau graduated highschool – barely, with a 2.0 – and decided she was going to enlist in the military. What she wasn't expecting was for her parents to try and convince her to stay in Encampment; She assumed they just wanted to pretend they had some semblance of control over her, but it also made her think about Everett and how she couldn't just leave him alone with them. After a lot of arguing, they eventually managed to convince her to stay, compromising by promising her a job at the sheriff's office.

For three years she worked as an officer, taking up night shifts to minimise not only how much work she'd have to do, but also how often she'd encounter her parents, seeing as she still lived in their house. She didn't know when, and she didn't know how, but one day she'd use the money to get out of this town, and she'd take Everett with her.

It was 2008 by the time anything changed.

There was a girl, Anna, in the same grade as Beau. They'd never spoken, but Anna was known around town to be the kindest soul there was – quiet, but compassionate. She volunteered at the church in her free time, tutored the younger kids who had a hard time with school, fed the stray cats, the whole nine yards. Anna didn’t graduate, though, she killed herself a year before and nobody knew why.

Eastwood found out, through gossip from their coworkers, that it was Officer Steven Cline's fault. He'd assaulted Anna and the whole precinct knew, yet none of them ever did anything about it. They swept it under the rug and let an innocent girl die to protect their colleague.

Beau had always been an angry person, but this was on another level; where was the justice? Where was the fairness? Cline – all of them, they were cops, they were supposed to protect the community, not abuse their power over it. She decided, the day she found out, that she'd take justice into her own hands, since nobody else was willing to.

He was dead four days later. They found his body outside the sheriff's office, a bullet hole through his skull and his blood staining the sidewalk.

Eastwood didn't stick around to find out what they did about it. The same day she killed him, she returned home, left an envelope containing all the money she'd made in her three years of working in an envelope with her phone number under Everett's pillow, took the keys to her dad's truck, and skipped town.

After 21 years, she was finally free of that town. Free of her parents, free of everyone who thought they knew her, and though she regretted not taking Everett with her, she wasn't sure how he'd react to his sister being a murderer. She left him her number, so he could contact her if he ever wanted to; and she left him her money, so he could be free too.

It was only when she enlisted that she finally found out she was enhanced. It was a shock, both to her and the medical team running her tests, that she found out this late in life. Eastwood wasn't sure what exactly it meant at first, but she was just so excited to finally be doing what she wanted, the implications of the term 'conscription' went completely over her head.

It only hit her when they told her she'd have to be sterilised how serious it actually was. But this is what she'd always wanted, it didn't matter if she was conscripted, she would've joined the army anyway. So she took it in her stride and shipped out to the Marine Corps with her head held high.

She met Bianca 'Vantage' Roh not long after she joined. Of course, she'd gone around telling everybody she was enhanced, before she knew it wasn't a widely celebrated thing, so naturally Vantage sought her out as the only other enhanced member of their unit.

The two became fast friends, not only because of their enhancement, but because they were easily the best of their unit and both of them took great pleasure in making sure no-one ever forgot it. They were so similar in personality, good-humoured with the inability to take anything seriously, it was inevitable that they would be friends. Beau was a lot happier, and a lot less angry, now that she had a real friend.

Beau enjoyed the military like she thought she would, even with all the orders she had to follow, which she surprisingly had little issue with. She figured that since she was conscripted, that meant they couldn’t discharge her, no matter how insubordinate she was. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence for her to get disciplinaries for talking back or disobeying orders. She completed her objectives with ease, but she would always stray just far enough to put a few more grey hairs on her commanding officer's head.

A year goes by in relative normality before anything happens.

2010, she was taken as a prisoner of war. None of them saw it coming; one minute they were driving a convoy, the next they were waking up in a basement in god knows where. She could handle the dark, the cold, the pained cries of her comrades, but it was the waterboarding that broke her down. They held her face under a running stream, left her gasping for air, and submerged her head in a trough over and over and over, never leaving her enough time to recover before they'd start again.

Three weeks went by like that before she was able to escape. How she did it was a mystery to her at the time, but looking back, it's obvious it was her enhancement. She really though she was going to die that day, with water in her lungs and barely enough energy to function; but it's thanks to all her injuries that she managed to break the shackles that restrained her. Eastwood fought her way out of that basement with nothing but her fists – alone, because her comrades succumbed to the torture long before.

Those three weeks left her with PTSD so severe she couldn't even get her face wet in the shower without having flashbacks. It was difficult, going back to normal after something like that. Vantage helped her as much as she could, but there's only so much talking they could do before it stopped being helpful.

Everett called her for the first time two months after she got back. She put him down as her next of kin, so it makes sense that they contacted him when she was declared M.I.A.

He was angry at first, understandably, because he didn't understand how she could dissappear like that without saying anything, not even goodbye. Beau was hesitant to tell him the real reason she left, but she would rather he heard it from her than anyone else. It scared him, she could tell, but he didn't outright disown her, so she took that as a good sign.

They talked for hours that night, about everything she'd missed since she left. Everett used the money she left her and got a place in Jackson, he got a job at the theatre and he got free tickets sometimes, that he shared with his boyfriend, and he thought Beau would really like him.

It hurt, missing watching her brother grow into himself, but she was so happy for him she burst into tears on the phone.

After that, things got better again. It was easier knowing her little brother was doing okay, and that he still cared about her despite how she left things. 

In 2011, the base their unit was stationed at got a visit from a decorated Navy captain. It's the most interesting thing that's happened in years so of course, everyone was talking about it from the moment her helicopter touched down. She asked for Eastwood and Vantage by name, and at first Beau thought it was because they were in trouble, that maybe what she did in Encampment finally caught up to her, but those worries were quickly put to rest. The captain introduced herself as Orca, the commander of a PMC for enhanced individuals, and offered them both jobs. 

Eastwood liked the captain from the moment she first opened her mouth. She could tell they were kindred spirits from the way she insulted their commanding officer in the first sentence she spoke to him. She didn't take more than a second to take the offer, she didn't even bother to read the contract before she signed her name and handed it back. Vantage easily followed suit, and within the day they were flying back to Texas in the back of Orca's helicopter.

The OSOD gave them more freedom than Beau imagined she'd ever get. They didn't have to follow grooming regulations, so when finally dyed her hair like she'd always wanted to; And Orca, she was just as much a friend as she was their Captain. Perhaps Beau was thinking too wishfully, but the OSOD felt more like home – more like family – than anything else she'd felt in her entire life.

▰▰

FUN FACTS

She can play the entirety of 'Free Bird' on electric guitar, including the solo – and she will take every opportunity to show this off.

She wears both the mask and the goggles for aesthetic purposes only, not because she wants to hide her face. She just thinks they look cool.

She was emo in highschool (she still is, she just doesn't look it anymore).

▰▰

[magicrainbowkitties]

The most buck-ass wild thing about our current public "discourse" to me?

(Hi, this post reeeaaaally got away from me. Tw for child abuse, child death, child rape/sexual assault, abortion, and queerphobia under the cut)

The same people calling trans and queer people "groomers" for advocating for trans kids' right to gender affirming care and for simply existing in proximity to children, let alone educating children in one way or another on LGBTQ+ identity and issues, are the EXACT same people who:

- Want a total ban on abortion, including in children and in cases of rape and incest

- Want to ban contraceptives for children

- Want to ban comprehensive sex education in schools.

All of these things are paramount to children's sexual and physical SAFETY. The youngest person to ever carry a baby to term? 5 YEARS OLD (precocious puberty was a factor here, which was what puberty blockers were invented to treat, btw). And by some miracle she lived! But many who are forced to be pregnant as a fucking child die. And that's ignoring the fact that every single one of those cases was the result of a CHILD BEING RAPED (also ignoring teenagers having consensual sex, but we'll get to that). To force a CHILD to carry their rapist's baby is one of the cruelest and most horrific things that we are forcing on them. These kids have already suffered unimaginable violation and trauma. To force them through the physical pain and horror of pregnancy and childbirth besides, even though they are LITERALLY CHILDREN, is so unbelievably cruel that I cannot imagine the mind of someone who thinks that's ok.

In that same vein, what if it's teenagers (still children, more mature children, but still children) having sex with other teenagers? It happens, and pretending like it won't or doesn't is naive in the purest sense of the term. Aside from the fact that sex education is sorely needed not only so they can be safe with each other, but so they can recognize harmful and predatory behavior in the adults that might harm them and tell someone before something horrible happens! And what's one of these harmful, predatory behaviors?

Grooming.

Real, ACTUAL grooming is inherently abusive. It is building, twisting, and leveraging a relationship with someone to make them do something they wouldn't normally do. And, even worse, it's using that relationship to make that person think the abusive behavior is ok.

The fact that they want to stop education that would protect children from actual grooming, and want to ban medical practices that would make an actual groomer's victims even slightly more safe, is disgusting and horrifying. That they call the people advocating for children's autonomy in their bodies and identities and their right to exist in public nakedly shows why they don't see the contradiction:

They don't care about children's safety. If they did, they wouldn't be forcing children to be parents. They believe children to be little flesh robots to be programmed and used rather than living, thinking, autonomous people who deserve to live and thrive as individuals.

And it shouldn't be left unsaid: Many people like this are themselves groomers and child abusers. And if children were taught to avoid them, if children had safeguards and outs for when these horrors happen, their control would evaporate, their abuse would be rightly shamed, and they would lose access to their victims. And they will hold on to their power and control for dear life by any means necessary.

The real attack on children is not from people who want to teach them about fundamental parts of the human experience, or exist in public around them, or to have and raise children of their own in a non-conventional way. It is from those who want total control over children's bodies and activities, who don't want to foster the growth of a person, but who want a puppet that they can control and hold that control over for their entire fucking lives.

It's disgusting and insidious, and I wish more people could see this for what it is.

[orossii]

tw csa, rape

child porn is a multi-million dollar industry with hundreds of thousands of new victims every year. it has obvious close, almost indistinguishable connections to the mainstream porn industry, and yet we very rarely see truly large scale crackdowns in its epicenter, the US. those we do see gather evidence on a few low level child porn consumers and small time pimps while producing very few arrests or major shakeups at the top of the supply chain despite the fact that the US is the most extensively surveilled country on the planet. the child porn industry at the scale it’s currently operating on would not be able to survive without some degree of coordination with the government, and I’d argue that much like how drug smuggling in Nicaragua was coordinated by the CIA to fund its extensive black operations with the added bonus of destabilizing black neighborhoods in LA by flooding the streets with assault weapons and crack cocaine, the child porn industry serves a similar purpose

internet pornography is largely free, and we’re at the point where “simulated” CSA, rape, domestic violence, and slavery are all mainstream, front page content. you don’t have to wander far to find further extremes of the extreme. children are being exposed to porn at younger and younger ages, and in the case of furry and cartoon character pornography that’s bizarrely prevalent in Google image search results it’s almost like it’s being marketed to them like brightly colored candy. orgasms become addictive quickly, and when you’re wearing out that response multiple times a day you inherently need more and more extreme content to satisfy the addiction. when you watch a ton of teen porn, ddlg, cartoon bestiality, hardcore bondage, simulated snuff films etc etc to get off it extinguishes your boundaries even further over time and encourages you to dehumanize the people you see on screen. when that grooming process is complete the slip to illegal porn just seems like a logical next step to the porn addict, and the illegal porn is significantly more profitable to the industry. and, in a surveillance state, very easy to leverage as blackmail to ensure that politicians and business leaders do whatever you tell them to. porn in general also has the added bonus of turning us into an even more sociopathic, deeply individualistic culture bc it eliminates much of the prerequisite human empathy needed for the struggle and compromises the integrity of our movements. it keeps women terrorized by the men in our lives that view us through the lens of pornography (a lens through which we also view ourselves, generating increased consumption of things like makeup and risky plastic surgeries) and both sexes politically paralyzed. this post is a little all over the place because I’m half asleep as I type this but im firmly of the opinion that there’s more to porn than most people are willing to think

[whumpinthepot]

Oooh also gape and grim for Abby

Thank you <3 from this ask game!!

TW: Child endangerment/child harm (I try to tag it under “tw child endangerment” or “tw child harm” for blacklists btw), kidnapping, stalking and obsessive behaviour,

Edit: my tag for blacklisting is “Children in whump”

Gape: sum up their morals by saying something they would do, and then something they wouldn't.

Abby kidnaps a child because the kid is a witness that Abby didn’t want to do away with, and she realizes she can use the kid as leverage to control the other people that she actually wanted to kidnap. So that’s pretty bad imo, unforgivable behaviour that crosses so many lines. She’s on thin ice here, and its clearly cracking🤨

She would NOT actively hurt the kid, or have a desire to. Kid has plot armour for my own comfort, and for readers comfort too. She gets very angry if the other character’s imply anything.

Grim: what do they want out of life? Do they think they'll get it?

Abby wants to be loved and adored. She wants someone who will love her unconditionally and be hers forever and ever. She gets dangerously attached to people 😳 also she wants to be a hero which im sure we all know already !! She’s obsessed, she loves superheroes im positive.

She *knows* she’ll get it. Meaning by force… Because… Nothing else seems to be working for her and she’s tired of playing the long game. (Spoilers, it doesn’t work how she wants it to)

[wanderingchocolateeclair]

Interdimensional Therapy AU - Part 4

A crossover fic with @laughteronsilverwings!!

Previous Part || Next Part

As usual, starts with s!jeanist and switches pov with every '-'

TW: none, however do tell me if I have missed anything!

-

Tsunagu frowns at Jean- well, scrunches his eyebrows, because they’re both wearing masks. A medical mask for him and a… denim collar-belt-buckle thing for Jean. “You haven’t gotten rid of them?” 

Is he just that used to being watched, that he doesn’t care? Or is there some sort of scrambler here? 

“Why keep them around?” Tsunagu is genuinely curious about this. He focuses for a little bit, scrambling for the wires in the bugs that he’d missed on his first sweep… there. He wraps his quirk around them, ready to rip them out. “Will you get hurt or negatively affected if you remove them?” 

The I could get rid of them for you lingers in the air, unspoken. He doesn’t know if Jean knows this game of politics and spoken-unspoken things, though. They probably have… really different backgrounds. 

Tsunagu sees no use in keeping the bugs around. Maybe to keep a facade of look at me I'm harmless and obedient, but, well- Jean doesn’t really seem the type of person to have that as a first option. He’s more the type to go straight up and punch people. 

- 

Tsunagu swallowed. 

I could get rid of them.

That’s what was written in that gaze, that body language- everything.

“Not me… never me. Which is why they stay intact, and stay there.” Tsunagu spoke, his tone lowering as a warning. “You understand, right?”

He hopes he does. The life of someone very important to him would be riding on his hands if he didn’t.

“Destroying a bug? Maybe not the worst that could happen. But I'd rather not take risks.”

-

Ah. So they’ve got leverage over Jean. And Tsunagu can’t sense any camera-wires, so- he carefully unwinds himself from the wires, and pulls out the maths sheet he was doing earlier. And a pencil. 

Then he starts writing. In my ‘verse, the HPSC has a history of silencing, disappearing, ect, people that disagree with them to an extreme degree. They have a history of morally dubious actions. They have a history of grooming children to be heroes. 

Tsunagu ends the sentences there. Jean is in the position of a tool that at least one party has no problem with using. Though, it seems like they’re being careful with him… maybe a tracker or two, and maybe a ‘friend’ with the person he cares about to keep both of them(?) in line. But if their leverage disappears, then… well. Jean would -from what Tsunagu’s seeing right now- either shatter or snap, and he didn’t like any of those options. 

So he slides the paper and pencil over to Jean. Pauses. Writes one more thing down. 

Do you know sign language? There are no cameras in this apartment. 

-

Tsunagu reads Arcane’s writing. Ah… so there was no difference there, then.

He smiled bitterly and took the pencil, trying to keep his hands steady as he wrote his response.

I see… it seems that the HPSC is the same through both our ‘verses, then. Being a hero, though not of very high rank as of now, we get silenced even more. Hence why I may come across as overly-paranoid. One little slip can cost a life, hero license, etc. which is why I won’t risk it. And yes, I know sign language. Though lingering on this subject for too long or going silent for too long may seem suspicious. You know-

He finished scribbling and placed the pencil down, flipping the paper for Arcane to read.

-

Tsunagu scans the paper. Ah. Alright. He lifts his hands up and starts signing, at the same time where he starts asking about less-high-risk things. His mouth says: “Oh, so… the one in my ‘verse probably has less paperwork and… things. More secrets but less corruption. I think. I’m actually not sure how it works, but thanks for the written run-down of all the departments. So- it’s my turn to ask a question, right?” 

With his hands, he says: Ah. I know, don’t worry. We can slowly change the topic from politics to life. I’m going to ask you if you have any family next, if it’s my turn. I think it’s still yours, though. If you still want to talk about your H-P-S-C -He has to fingerspell that- we can do it outside, on the rooftops or somewhere shadier. Or in sign. 

Tsunagu slips the paper back into his pouch as he waits for an answer.

- 

Tsunagu nodded, bringing up his hands to do the same.

He opens his mouth. “Of course! No problem, it’s pretty confusing, but I’m happy to help. Yeah, I do believe it’s your turn now?”

His hands sign differently. 

Thank you. I think it’s safer to move topic now. Feel free to ask first.

There. Simple, right? Well- no not really, but hey, none of this made sense anyway! He was talking to an alternate-universe-version of himself!

He gave Arcane a simple nod, indicating that he was done talking… well, signing.

-

Hm. Honestly? Tsunagu is hungry. And this is France. At night France. Perfect time to ‘get lost’ because they don’t have a map. And they are both (probably) notorious disaster magnets. “Do you know any good street-food places? Like- night markets. Places which have flocks of people going to them… Paris has a good nightlife, right? And you’ll probably have disguises.” 

He smiles at Jean. “Want to go clubbing or something? We can- well, you can show me around. I don’t think I’ve been to Paris before.” 

That is a blatant fucking lie, but hey. Jean’s got no way of knowing that, and Tsunagu’s not just going to spill all his secrets in a bugged apartment. “Also, I’m, uh, kinda hungry,” He admits quietly, lowering his tone as if he’s embarrassed, not bothering with body language. “I didn’t eat lunch.” 

On cue, his stomach rumbles a little bit. 

------

parent and child.. 

civilian: hi is this?? your kid?? 

e!jeanist: uh- 

s!jeanist: hes my brother! nii-san. stop getting lost!

e!jeanist: youre?? the one that got lost?

s!jeanist, grabbing onto e!jeanist’s hand: no it was you. thanks for helping me find my nii-san. 

civilian: no problem! look after your… sibling, okay? bye!

e!jeanist: what the fuck

------

“Oh- well, that makes two of us who didn’t eat lunch!” Tsunagu jokingly said, leaning back in his chair and stretching his arms out, ready to get up… like an old person… ough… he felt old.

“That's a good point though! I know a couple of good food stalls.” He paused, getting up and walking to the little small chest that sat beside the bed, pulling out some sweaters and hoodies, turtlenecks, jeans… more jeans… even more jeans…

Okay that’s enough jeans.

“Did you need any clothes? Spares or… I don’t know, extra layers? Disguise- wait- no, this isn’t your ‘verse… Oh god, are people gonna mistake us as parent and child? I sure hope not…” Tsunagu trailed off again, fiddling with the clothes. “Or maybe that is a good idea…I don’t know…”

Okay, maybe his focus splits too fast and he gets distracted a little too easily, but that’s okay… he just needs to… get back to what he was doing, please.

“OH! Sorry! I was trying to ask if you wanted one of these when we go out?” He held out the options. “Just in case? It’s a little cold at this time of day.”

He tilted his head, moving his hands slightly. “You don’t have any sensitivities to certain fabric, do you? I know I do- Oh hey! That could count as a question!” He laughed.

-

Well. Jean’s focus is… scattered, but that isn’t a bad thing. Tsunagu’s pretty sure he thinks like that. Maybe? Sort of? Eh, whatever. But given the, uh, circumstances Jean’s in, and what he can guess at… he’s pretty sure this needs like. A sort of check-up? An intervention? A talk with a friend?

‘Cause, like Jean is showing quite a few signs of trauma. Hypervigilance. Extreme ​​hypervigilance, paranoia (yet again, under the hypervigilance thingy)... uh, everything about his situation. Someone having leverage over you… Tsunagu hates that thought. So much. He wants to claw out the eyes of this theoretical person. 

How is Jean not snapping and going on a murder spree? Tsunagu’s fairly sure he would do something like that. Arrange assassinations. Grit his teeth and bear it, for a little bit, and then take bloody revenge. An eye for an eye might not fix anything, but it’d absolutely make him feel better. 

“Thanks. I don’t think I’ve got anything… but, uh, I’d rather not take anything made from plastic, if possible. It tastes weird.” 

Tsunagu walks over and peeks into the chest, ducking around Jean. There’s a lot of denim in here. “Why do you have so much denim?” Ooh, actually- “What if we go out as like… siblings? We look enough like each other. And with some visual differences… do you have traditionally female clothing? I don’t mind wearing skirts, if you have leggings.” 

He reaches up and pulls the medical mask he’s been wearing off, and rubs at his face. It always feels way too oily, after a little bit. “I’ll skip the mask for tonight.” 

Do you want new names? Tsunagu signs at Jean. France has people from all over. We could go with European names, or I can just call you Jean…  

What would he call himself, though? Eh. He’d let Jean come up with that. Tsunagu reaches into his pocket and pulls out his glasses case- he doesn’t need need them, but they help out a little bit. And change his face shape. 

Androgyny for the win. Tsunagu loves confusing people with his whole heart. It’s wonderful. He pulls on the frameless glasses and blinks a few times to adjust. Everything comes into crystal-clear clarity, and- yep. Yep, that is still a dick on the wall. 

Tsunagu will choose not to question Jean’s choice of decor. Oh. Actually… 

He pulls his phone out to google ‘french names meaning mystery’. He may as well keep with the theme. 

-

Tsunagu nodded, flicking open another small box of clothes. (he had plenty, there was no shortage of clothes in this Jeanist’s apartment-)

“Feel free to rummage through that one if you’d like! There’s plenty of random skirts, dresses, shorts and other things in there - mostly stuff I made back in the fashion college.” He paused, picking out his own clothes, he would definitely need a disguise. Best Jeanist can’t be randomly spotted in Paris after just being in Japan. That would cause suspicion, to say the least. “Don’t worry about the material- most of them are cotton or silk, I have rather sensitive skin.”

Siblings. That could work. Considering they look incredibly alike… for obvious reasons.

Tsunagu raised his hands and signed back: You can call me Wren. Jean is a little too close to my hero name for now. Besides, there are… a couple of people who may recognise me. He paused, looking at the clothes. Best be safe. But what about you? A different name? Or still Arcane?

He picked up the clothes he was going to wear and headed to the bathroom to change, sticking his head out again quickly. “Oh! And don’t worry if they don’t fit- they’ll probably be a tiny bit too big- I can adjust them if you’d like! Or you can, if well- if you’d prefer to do it yourself. Feel free to change them how you like.”

-

Wren, huh? Like the bird. He’s pretty sure it’s… maybe a common name in France? Eh, whatever. Not a lot of people cared, anyways. He slid his phone into his bag- for once, nameberry.com had failed him. So no French name for him.

Tsunagu walked over and started looking through the box of clothes, signing as he did, hands placed so Jean could see them. Let’s keep Arcane for me- maybe you can, I dunno, call me Arc? Accy? Cane? Up to you. 

He stopped at a sweater. Grey. And soft. It felt like what he imagined clouds would be like as a kid. 

“Ah- I’m taking your grey sweater.” He held it up. It was… way too big for him. Came-down-to-his-knees big. Not for the first time, Tsunagu looked forward to his growth spurt. He wasn’t too short now, but… still. “I’ll adjust it myself. Do you mind if I make gloves out of the extra material?” 

He reached out and started unraveling fibers- they came off easily, and soon enough, he’s got a correctly-sized sweater in his hands. Tsunagu slips it over the hero mech tee he’s wearing. It covers everything nicely. 

Now, pants. Well. Skirt and leggings. He finds them easy enough. Black leggings, tightly woven with… was that kevlar? Huh. Nice. And a blue-gray skirt that was down to his knees. He pulls his pants off, puts the leggings and skirt on, and just kinda… weaves the jeans into the skirt to make it more durable. 

The end result looked okay. He checked in a mirror. With the glasses and clothing, Tsunagu looked like a wonderful mix of gender confusion. He twirls in a circle. The skirt swishes a little bit, but not too much, probably because of the jeans. No bugs or wires or tracking things that he could feel out. Okay. What was he missing? 

Oh, right, the extra material… well, he was already wearing gloves. Eh, he’ll just weave it back into the sweater. Make it thicker. Maybe make it into a jacket-type thing? Hmm. 

He peeks back into the chest of clothing, rummaging around a little bit more. 

…There was a black trenchcoat in there. That already fit on Tsunagu, actually, so that was a nice surprise. And there’s a little bit of extra wool-stuff that he can use to make little swirly patterns on the edges, and he quickly busies himself with that. “Actually- Jean, do you have hair extensions? My hair’s a little bit longer than yours already, but I think it’d help with changing my face-shape a little bit.” 

He also kind of wants to see what he looks like. So Tsunagu walks over to the bathroom, carefully not looking into it, and knocks on the frame. Just in case Jean hadn’t been listening. 

-

Tsunagu stuck a thumbs up out of the crack of the door. “You got it! Hair extensions, huh?” He thought for a second. He’s pretty sure he kept some from that time when- nevermind. “There should be a box on the top shelf inside the wardrobe!” He called out, flicking the door open with his quirk. “Sorry it’s probably a little dusty in there- I didn’t use it very much for anything apart from storage- but feel free to go through that!!”

He proceeded to remove his hero costume, folding it neatly and placing it aside. He checked over the small scratches from work earlier that day… god he forgot about that bit… and used his quirk to lift up the brown turtleneck he picked up.

‘Change of style? Who’s that? I only know wearing the same outfit all the time.’ He mentally joked to himself, shaking his head. He really needed to branch out from his regular comfort clothes eventually. But they were his comfort clothes and to be honest, comfort was the only thing Tsunagu needed during this time.

He pulled the sweater over his head and smoothed it down. It was a tiny bit short, but that’s okay- Eighteen-year-old-him wasn’t that long at the time. He picked up the light blue skinny jeans he’d chosen out of the wide range of jeans he had, and put those on with ease. Okay he would’ve worn his favorite orange pleated skirt underneath, but he’d taken that back to Japan. So jeans it was.

Okay. Not that bad. Could style it a little more, but pretty decent!

Tsunagu did a tiny bit of styling and changed his earrings around, debating on whether or not to bother with the other piercings. He’s going to wear a mask, no doubt about that. Yeah. He won’t bother.

Sure, he’d be less recognisable without the mask, but… well… scars and insecurities say ‘no thank you’, so he’ll just stick with some tinted glasses. He’s sure that he has a box of those somewhere too.

He ran his fingers through his hair and made a face at himself in the mirror. He’d straightened it this morning, but it was starting to separate and get all frizzy again. ‘Ugh. Dust.’ he shook his head and used a mixture of his quirk and a few pins to slick his bangs back, styling his hair differently to how he usually would. ‘There. That’ll do.’

Oh! “Actually, Arcane?” He called out to the younger-not-him. “In that wardrobe, there should be a pair of heeled boots -well, there may be several pairs- but there’s a pair of black ones with fluffy tops- are they in there? Could you just take those out for me, before you close the wardrobe, please?”

He loved those boots, and was so sad that he left them here… so maybe there was an upside to being magically teleported to France.

-

Tsunagu blinks, halfway to the closet. Heeled boots? Aren’t they supposed to be blending in? Well- he guesses that maybe fashion was… different here? And in his stay in Paris, he hadn’t exactly been keeping an eye on the trends. Fashion trends, that was. He’d kept an eye on the criminal-trends so he didn’t get murdered in his sleep. 

“Alright. But, uh, aren’t we supposed to be blending in? Because you’re kind of a celebrity, right?” Tsunagu called over his shoulder, looking into the closet… boots with the fur, box- there. On the same upper shelf, actually. 

He reached a tendril up to grab them. No trouble, and Tsunagu opened the box to find hair that matched his. 

He settled on a down-to-shoulder blades extension, clipped them on, and put the box back where it was. Tsunagu walked over to the bathroom, knocked on the frame (again, looking away), and held the boots out. “Got them. Ah- if you don’t mind me asking, do I blend in well enough? I don’t know how the trends are, here.” 

-

Tsunagu chuckled. “Oh don’t you worry, heeled boots and Paris night-life go hand in hand. We won’t stick out that much, trust me… you’ll see some interesting fashion choices out there.” He reached out and grabbed the boots. “Thank you!”

Stepping out, he smiled and mildly analysed the other’s choice in clothing. “Hm. Sweater, skirt and leggings, trenchcoat… that all looks good!” He said with a small smile. “It helps that we are wearing different styles.”

He slipped on the boots and stood back up, noticeably another three or four inches taller, and readjusted the black mask he’d put on. No face reveal for Arcane. Well, not right now. When they get food, that’ll have to happen, but he pushes that aside for now.

Mask. Right. Arcane wasn’t wearing one. Huh. Tsunagu felt a little surprised at the sight of what-would-be-younger-him-if-he-didn’t-have-his-scars. He’d have to get used to that.

And glasses? Tsunagu makes a mental note of this. He didn’t need glasses except for occasionally when reading after quirk accidents or straining his quirk… oh well. 

That reminds him! Tinted glasses! Usually he wouldn’t bother, at this time of night, but considering that he is wearing his mask and his eyes are… pretty much the most noticeable feature on his entire face. Body? Maybe. He opened the drawer by his bed and pulled out some small tinted glasses. That’ll do.

“You seem to like your gloves.” Tsunagu noted, thinking back to his UA days. “I used to wear gloves but- well-” He held up his slightly scarred hands. “Quirk awakenings can be a pain.”

He shook his head and sighed.

“Well, what do you think? You ready?”

-

Tsunagu looks Jean up and down. Turtleneck, jeans, heeled boots, and tinted glasses… there’s a bunch of blank space on his chest, and it looks sort of weird to him. Also, he’s not- wearing any kevlar? Or anything for protection under the clothes. Well, maybe he was and Tsunagu just hadn’t noticed, but Jean also doesn’t have any metal wire. They’re walking into Paris, at night. 

Then again. Different world, different him. “You’ve got a little bit too much of a blank space on your chest,” He informs Jean. “Maybe get a scarf or something? That you can use for ammunition and fashion. But otherwise, you look pretty normal, minus the boots.” 

The gloves comment had sort of come out of nowhere. They could talk about that outside, though, where there were (hopefully) no bugs. Talk about gloves outside? He signed. “I’m ready to leave- wait, one moment.”

He grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulder. “Okay, now I’m ready. Let’s go?” Tsunagu gestures towards the door. “Unless you want to get a scarf.” 

-

HIS SCARF!

Tsunagu made a noise of astonishment and rushed to one of the clothes boxes to pull out his favourite orange scarf. “I honestly cannot believe I forgot my scarf- considering how often I wear them- thank you for bringing that up, Arcane!” He laughed at his own mild stupidity and wrapped the scarf around his neck.

He made a faux-offended noise. “My boots are completely normal, thank you very much.” He joked. Okay, they were quite tall. But they were his favourites and he hadn’t worn them in over two years so he has an excuse.

“Anyway, yes. Let’s get going, shall we?” He walked them both to the door and stopped, turning around to Arcane with a slight annoyed face. “So. Um. The door’s locked… and my keys are in Japan…” he trailed off. “And don’t think we can just pick the lock or anything, these are special locks designed for proper security… and they’re- pretty damn expensive-”

He sighed. “How’s your experience with jumping and zip lining or kinda tightrope sliding out of windows?”

----------------End Part---------------

Little bit longer part this time! Hope you enjoy &lt;3

[itsaudreyaspen]

       ★ SPOTTED !! AUDREY ASPEN on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid ! i heard she’s the best PR SPECIALIST in town . 

PINTEREST. CONNECTIONS. PHOTO ALBUM.

name   :   audrey  abigail  aspen  .   nicknames   :   strawberry  .   birthday  /  age   :   january  8th  ,  1999   &   twenty - three  .   gender  /  pronouns   :   cisfemale  & she / her  . positive  traits   :   loyal  ,  generous  ,  compassionate  , articulate  ,  convincing  , charismatic ,  sweet. ,  organised  .   negative  traits   :   negative  ,  bias  ,  judgemental  ,  cold  ,  too black and white  ,  argumentative  ,  stubborn . 

hollywood 

audrey broke into hollywood after graduating from a private college that was located in washington , dc . she was raised in washington and her family were extremely rich and politically powerful throughout her childhood , using religion as their leverage and control in the community . audrey relocated after her twenty - first birthday but unfortunately carried on expressing these fundamentally fixed views to her peers . her early career in ballet dance began to transition when her skills fo spinning a story and saving face were discovred and audrey soon found herself with a strong client base , fixing the reputations of the most sordid people in hollywood - after all , deep down , she knew she was one of them ( or at least that’s how she feels , a girl so morally correct but full of self loathing ) . 

history 

audrey had a wonderful childhood , she was an only child and was doted on by her mother and father . aesthetically they were a model family , her father eventually even becoming the pastor at their church -- which was well coveted by important people . audrey grew up surrounded by wealth and the best of the best and she was expected to be a part of it , something she never once questioned , 

long vacations abroad , nannies who got to eat with the family , a shopping spree on thursday evenings after school with her mother ... the only thing missing was a sibling . while the family always wanted to extend , they never quite managed to and audrey knew even more so growing up this meant that they wanted her to excel . luckily , she brimmed with talent , bloomed like a flower under their watchful eyes and performed with relative ease as the perfect daughter . for a long time it wasn’t even an act . 

tw drugs, depression, suicide attempt. at nineteen audrey met a new boy that attended her church , seb ferreira and began a relationship with him which came down in a fury of hell when seb was exposed as having dealt drugs to children from the congregation ( allegedly ) . her father scorned seb and made sure the world knew he was a bad person , especially audrey . for the first time audrey found that her perfect world was shattered and she didn’t know what to do , having to hide her true feelings drowned her and one night when she was bathing , audrey tried to take her own life . her parents fortunately saved her life and took care of her dutifully despite not understanding . audrey had to believe god was the reason she was alive and when her parents repeated all the bad that seb was , audrey started going along with it , brainwashing herself on purpose to get rid of the confusion she felt . her mental health was never quite what it was before but audrey knew that she had to cling onto whatever she could in order to continue on and so she did . 

when diego came along , he was like the son her parents had always been missing and more so , he was the perfect fraud . fake recognised fake and diego and audrey loved each other like a hole in the head ... they didn’t know how to fill it so they had to keep it there . they became a power couple and dated for years on end , no sex involved , no real romantic love but a definite affection . audrey knew he was a grifter and he moved in with her and her parents for the free ride of college and beyond , nobody could have gaslighted and manipulated quite like them . in the end , they only broke up because they both moved in different directions ... diego still sends cashapp requests and audrey accepts . 

in general , audrey likes to have a circle , she can be very protective over those close to her and will fight tooth and nail for them . she might come across as brainwashed but most of it is just deep rooted denial , the inability to look life in the eye and a loathing for herself and the things she has done that she’s not quite ready to accept into her heart when she could just erase it with the healing power of christ . 

[mountphoenixrp]

We have a new citizen in Mount Phoenix:

        Seojun Jung a 30 year old son of Ares.         He is a Bouncer at Minx

FC NAME/GROUP: oh sehun (exo)

CHARACTER NAME: seojun jung

AGE/DATE OF BIRTH: 30, 12 april 1994

PLACE OF BIRTH: seoul, korea

OCCUPATION: bouncer at minx, freelance assassin (only to some people)

HEIGHT: 183cm

WEIGHT: 70kg

DEFINING FEATURES: a small scar on his cheek, a mark of ares on his ribs, 

PERSONALITY: 

  an introverted and silent guy, he's not the type to strike up conversations first. can be considered awkward and shy around people as well. though he's known to get the job tasked to him done through any means. loyal and dedicated to a fault. hyper independent that he never lets his guard down, and unconsciously keeps people at arms length to avoid getting himself hurt once again. though he has some sort of unconscious tendency to depend on or rely on someone or something for comfort.

  HISTORY: 

tw: child exploitation, slavery, abuse, mental manipulation, murder, gore, implied torture, attempted suicide

  note: this bio is written from his point of view so what transpired might not be the truth. things that are his assumptions are marked with “quotation before the words”

his “mother” sold him to slavery for 5,000 won. initially, he was tasked to do chores and cleaning, becoming his master's stool or whatever they needed from him. It was until he's eighteen that they decided to play a deadly game by pitting the children against each other for the sake of freedom. seojun won by a landslide, but the memory of his kills was embedded deep within his mind. 

a woman approached him, revealing that he might be a demigod displayed by his strength in the game was promised freedom, but that freedom means jumping from one cage to another.

To find out his parent god, several tests and experiments were done until they got a result that he's ares’ son through the god's mark on his ribs. With an ares kid on their grasp, they manage to effectively rise through their ranks in the black market by erasing market rivals and leveraging influential people across the country. 

and the one who kept him in check is a demigod set with her mental manipulation, keeping him on a leash.

years turned into a blur before one incident happened where he momentarily was free from the demigod’s manipulation. he used this opportunity to kill himself but was unsuccessful, as he feared death and what came after it. 

it's only when the “government officials” discover their syndicate that he has a chance of freedom as the group was officially disbanded with most dead and his master apprehended. of course, not for the woman who has tortured him, she's a sly one. though having been cornered to the edge made her careless as she fell into a trap. 

what happened that night was something of the past. in her desperate plea for him, seojun raised his dagger to kill her, giving her a slow death and in fear of serving another master, he attempted to kill himself only to fail when someone tackled and knocked him unconscious.  

despite all his crimes being involuntary, he was still held accountable. “the judge” has sentenced him to suspension from the country, to be sent to an unknown island, and to attend daily rehab and therapy. though this unknown island is not a remote one like he would've imagined. 

three years since then and seojun would like to think he's doing better. the dark clouds still hovered above him but at the very least, he's free.

PANTHEON: greek

CHILD OF: ares

POWERS: Natural skill with weapons, enhanced strength, and agility, some have the ability to create small fires in their hands.

STRENGTHS:

adept in the art of killing and assassination 

natural skill with any type of weapons 

able to read through a person's body language 

  WEAKNESSES: 

particularly invulnerable to mental attacks or manipulations 

the trouble with voicing out his wants, needs, and feelings

terrible at cooking (he's trying), lived through cans of monsters and canned food with occasional takeouts