#tw: Sucide attempt

[psychobulimic]

No one cares until you’re dead!!!

[nightv4mps]

hello, I wanted to ask if you accepted the request, if not please ignore but if so please write an article about Chuuya catching a reader committing suicide;;; If you find this offensive then you can of course ignore it, but I would appreciate it if you did <3 btw I want you to do about male!reader or maybe a general pronoun;;

don’t… please.

- chuuya catches his s/o committing suicide

a/n: if you or someone you know is going through a hard time, reach out to someone you can trust, never wait until it’s too late.

contents: hurt & comfort + dark content - gn! reader // mentions of death / suicide attempt / degrading words towards the reader (not from chuuya!!) / chuuya calls the reader an idiot / curse words used / not proofread!!!

you don’t even know how you got here… what happened? you can’t help but let out a forced chuckle at the thought. an ordinary person would look at your life and think you were living the dream, but here you are, standing on the edge of a roof, watching the sunset, debating if you should really do this… what would happen after you did it? would anything change? would anyone care? …would anyone remember you?

all these questions running through your head, the only one that sticks is, what would chuuya do? he’s the only person that stuck through with you when you were battling depression, he was the one that actually gave you hope, yet here you are, going back on your word, hurting him in the process, how selfish of you.

you sighed and looked back the the sunset, watching the pink blend with orange, how pretty… you closed your eyes and smiled, it would all be over soon. you open your eyes and look downwards, you saw people walking along the streets of yokohama, it was all so peaceful, yet so sad…

you closed your eyes once more, the only thing lingering on your mind was… him. chuuya. you smile, tears falling from your eyes as memories of the two of you flash through your head.

you finally get the courage and begin to walk off the edge of the roof, waiting for the wind to blow through your hair as you fall, only for that sensation to never happen, all you can feel is a hand grabbing your wrist, pulling you up

you open your eyes and see chuuya , using his ability to help him lift you up to safety, you finally hit the ground of the roof, seeing chuuya staring at you like you grew another head, “what the fuck were you doing?! what is wrong with you? do you have any idea what would happen if i wasn’t here?”

you gulp, backing away from chuuya’s harsh voice, you hear a sigh and feel arms wrap around you, chuuya cradles you head with one of his hands, the other wrapped around your waist, “you idiot… what would i do without you…?”

chuuya grip on you tightens, and you feel his tears soak through your shirt, “please.. don’t. don’t do that again,” chuuya lifts his head from your shoulder, a serious expression on his face, “please. come to me next time, don’t, ever, do anything like that again…”

© 2023 nightv4mps.

[endlessmidnights]

The only reason I’m alive is because I’m too indecisive to choose my method

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

*TW*

Hello!!! I absolutely love platonic yanderes with teenage reader so can I ask for a fic where the teen!reader is basically a traumatized being. They have experienced hell throughout their life from mental abuse to physical abuse. Like I mean, they have gotten in many dangerous situations which ended up with police involved (kidnapped, assaulted, murder attempt). Ofc the reader never really did anything wrong, they were just an innocent child till everything went downhill. They don't have any family members left leading them to stay at an orphanage. Anddd you could say the orphanage people aren't the nicest. And their mental health has become so fucked up that they had attempted suicide.

You don't have to do this if ur uncomfortable ofc. Sorry about how triggering the request might be

On the roof

Self-Aware! Platonic! BSD Cast x GN! Teen! Traumatized! Reader

Description: You are on the rooftop in the middle of the night.

Trigger warning: Suicide attempt. Abuse. Child abuse. Kidnapping. Assault. Attempted murder.

List of Suicide hotline numbers can be found here and here.

Warning: One swear word. English is my second language.

__________________________________

You silently opened the door, that leads to the roof of an orphanage. With your phone in hand, you take a few steps forward.

The door closed behind you.

You just stand here. You were silent.

You were here. You wanted to end this.

You sighed and looked around.

Should you just... Go to the edge and jump? It's not like someone would care about you.

You didn't bother with the last note.

No one would care about the reason.

You will simply become a name in documents.

You just wanted to be heard.

You mindlessly looked at your phone.

Should you take it with you?

Or left it here, so someone else would use it?

Your gaze stopped at the "BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan" icon. Will the new owner delete it? Or will continue your progress?

You tapped on the icon. You didn't leave a note.

Yet, you "talked" to BSD Characters so often, that it seems right, to let them hear your last words.

Your reasons.

You opened the Main Menu and choose 'Meeting Hall' option.

The picture of ADA Office appeared. And Chibis of all BSD Characters appeared.

This new option was cute. You liked petting chibis.

All chibis 'looked' at you.

And you finally spoke.

"Mom was strange..."

________

Your mom was strange.

She smelled funny. Like water everyone told you not to drink.

Sometimes, she stared at you. Stared for a long time.

And there were rules.

1. Don't cry.

2. Don't annoy mom.

3. You eat last.

4. If you stayed past curfew, you will sleep outside.

5. Don't tell anyone about your home life.

At least, she let you play outside as much as you want. Mom liked, when you were away from home.

*******

You were five, when you got kidnapped.

That night, you wake up to get some water.

Mom saw you.

In her eyes, you broke a rule.

You were sleeping outside.

One moment you were trying to get comfortable under the porch.

Next moment a man in a mask was dragging you in a van.

Three days.

You were in a dark, scary place for three days.

On a third day you heard two men talking.

"What do you mean, that mother didn't realize, that kid were missing?!"

_____

"Still... Mom paid the ransom. Kidnappers left me. It takes three more days for police to find me..."

____

You were standing near a police officer. And your mom finally arrived to the police station to collect you.

You walked to her, your head was low.

She hit you.

You screamed.

You collapsed on the floor, and your mother bent over you. She hissed and pushed you in the side with her feet.

"Are you satisfied, brat? Get up and go pack your belongings, we’re moving to a shed."

"You should treat your kid more kindly..." the officer grumbled. Your mother squealed.

"Kindly?! This brat had ruined my whole life!” Your mom was mad. She screamed like a fury, jumped in place and gave cowering you blow after blow. You didn’t try to dodge. You just trembled, curled up into a ball.

"Hubby ran away as soon as he gets it inside me! But dear relatives didn’t let me throw it away. They didn’t let me give it to an orphanage! They said that I need to raise this child! They stood up for a little bastard! But now, when I need to pay debt, they are nowhere to be found! They say I play cards too much! I'm just unlucky! Things are not going my way! The house is mortgaged! I poured all my savings into the last card game and won! I would pay off all my debts! And because of this thing, I now have to live in a shed! What will I tell my family now?! What will others say about me?!"

Officer heard enough.

The CPS were called.

_______

"... They were trying to find my father... Until then, grandmother and grandfather agreed to took me in..."

_______

You were six.

Your grandfather sat on the opposite side of the table.

Your textbook and notebook were laying on the table before you.

And your grandfather was talking.

"I finished checking your homework. As I expected, you are a little idiot. A stupid, worthless waste of space. You have made few stupid mistakes. You wrote numbers in a wrong order.

Grandfather opened your notebook. A red paste was covering the page.

2 + 1 = 3 1 + 2 = 3

3 + 1 = 4. 1 + 3 = 4

"So..." Grandfather take a ruler.

"Give me your hand. It will be ten hits for every wrong number."

________

"...it took two year to find my father. He had a family. And I... I was a child from affair. They never let me live it down... For years"

_______

You were nine.

The blow, when it came, took all of your air out of your lungs. You would have fallen if not for your two... "siblings" holding you.

"It feels good, giving a good beating to a dirtbag, right?"

The next hit was in your left eye. You managed to close it in time.

But it will be swollen.

You felt hot breath on your face.

"Your hair is too good for a bastard child."

Your sister brought the scissors up to your hair.

Snip, snip, snip. Cutting right alongside the scalp, sending your hair like leaves swirling to the ground.

Then scissors were plunged into your stomach.

"Die, child of a dirty whore."

______

"...Police was called. They were arrested. But I remained with father and his wife..."

_____

You were twelve.

You were going food shopping. Big bags were heavy, you were tried.

You still need to clean up the house and make dinner.

When you were attacked, because someone tied to rob you, you didn't even care.

You only knew, that, you will be beaten again for being late. And for losing food.

You were long past gone. There were no point in carrying about yourself.

~~~~~~

You were thirteen.

Your father, his wife and you were going to the funeral.

Your father's uncle died.

Now he only has his wife and kids. And you.

He noticed your gaze in a reflection.

He yelled at you for staring.

And he crashed.

You spent three hours in a broken car.

You were the only survivor.

_______

"... I was sent to an orphanage. I am too old to have any chance to be adopted. And I wasn't the only one, who had no chance to have a family..."

______

You tasted dirt and blood. An old rug was thrown over your head, to make it harder for you to fight back.

Someone pressed a knee on the back of your neck and held your face against the ground.

A kick in the side made you roll on your back.

Another person began to push down on your neck with an arm.

You began to struggle, thrashing about with your legs and beating them against the floor, but it was no good.

There were other kids around—at least a dozen of them. One of them would do something. One of them was sure to see that things were taking too far. Your vision began to go fuzzy.

Caretakers saved you only because the noise didn't let them watch TV.

________

"I couldn't take it anymore. I... thank you... Thank you for making me happy... For being the only happy thing in my life."

You finished talking and put your phone on the ground. You stand up and walked towards the edge.

You heard a loud noise. You turned around.

BSD Characters were standing behind you. Real.

And you were still standing near the edge. You were silent. Nikolai lift his overcoat and put his hand into the portal.

His head reappeared near you. You jumped away. Now you were even closer to the edge.

"No... I... I don't want to... Don't come closer..." whispered you. You took another step. You were almost here.

"[Y/N], if you go back, I will give you a hug!"

You froze and turned around.

Kenji Miyazawa made a step forward. He opened his arms, offering a hug.

"I promise, I will give you a hug. Come here... You really need a hug."

You trembled. You moved towards Kenji.

Step. After step. After step.

Kenji was standing here. Offering a hug.

You launched yourself forward, wrapping your arms around Kenji. He immediately hugged you back.

You cried. For the first time in years.

In a few minutes, you were in a middle of a large group hug.

________

You are fifteen.

You are living with your family.

You still have a long path to recovery.

And you are not alone.

BSD Cast will stay with you.

And will make sure, that you will never be hurt again.

[yanderederee]

𝒟𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝒟𝑒𝒶𝒹, 𝒜𝓁𝓁 ℳ𝒾𝓃𝑒

Manjiro sano x reader

cw: suicidal thoughts and attempt of. Yandere heavy.

✦•·································•✦𓆩♡𓆪✦•··································•✦

“Right now. You’re dead.”

Confused beyond belief, you’re stricken with shock. What was going on?

Right now, you were sitting in the hallway of the apartment you lived in by yourself. Yet, face to face with, what appeared to be, your ex boyfriend.

You slowly begin regaining sense of what happened just moments ago.

You recall the endless pit of helplessness you found yourself in after a night out with friends. A night meant to make you feel better from the daily stress of maintaining your life.

Yet all you’ve done is mask, pretend, fake smiles, and stroke the egos of everyone around you, just so someone would give you a shred of attention.

This constant facade of happiness; trying to pretend like cracks cornering your life had finally become unrepairable.

You were becoming more and more damaged as the days pass. And still, not a single person will bat their eye in your direction. Acknowledge that maybe you could use a shoulder to cry on, to rant to.

The fun night filled with fake smiles and empty giggles finally winded down, and once you returned home to your empty apartment, silence surrounding you…

It was time to stop pretending.

Face reality once again that at the end of the day.

You are alone.

As good as dead, until the next conceivable excuse to rope you out came around. Not because it was for your own sake, but to maintain appearances.

“Because we’re friends, right?”

When… was the last time you felt such a connection with another person?

The thought made you laugh and cry all the same. Shuffling further in to the empty space that was temporarily yours, you finally couldn’t talk yourself out of it any longer.

This was reality.

It had been a long time since the last real attempt you made at stifling your own life. The tools were always at your disposal in waiting, waiting.

You were finally successful this time. Ready to finally commit to escaping the never ending cycle of inadequacy and inconvenience.

By now, you should be…

“���Dead.”

The words woke you again from the haze.

Were you?

“It’s okay. You’re dead now. You don’t have to worry about anything, ever again.” The soothing voice promised you so, so sweetly.

Your feint heartbeat and burning eyes proved this point false.

“Why are you here?” You asked quietly. Calmly.

“Because you’re mine.” He answered as easily as it was to breathe.

“Why did you stop me?” You croaked, fresh tears rolling down your face.

“… because you’re mine.” Manjiro repeated slower this time.

Shit. You cried, huddling in on yourself, unable to suppress the tremors that overcame you. There was nothing left you had to say to him.

“It’s okay,” he shushed you, forcibly handling you into his embrace, holding your shaking form tightly. “You won’t have to worry about anything, ever again..”

What kind of sense did that make, you had initially thought. As long as you breathe, you will never be satisfied going on. Continuously maintaining a facade of a person; never truly living.

Having no strength left to fight him off you, or any will to do so to begin with, you curled up into the little bit of warmth he offered, and cried. Heavily, without shame. For so long, you hadn’t even realized, you had cried yourself to sleep.

…

You would soon understand, that he was right; You Were Dead.

When you awoke, the surrounding memories of your old life were gone; as though permanently erased. No childhood photos or memories. No dangly earrings of cute designs.

A new life laid out before you. One where you needn’t put on appearances, now that you never made an appearance to anyone at all.

Because Manjiro only ever wanted you; the genuine, authentic, broken, you.

Time became constructive, as it primarily was. Days blurred. The sun rose and fell again, and again, and again.

The only thing that mattered, or changed, was when Mikey was and was not present.

Though the things surrounding you were expensive, quality, and plush, the only thing with genuine warmth, was him.

You were dead; the only presence of life being Manjiro’s own dead eyes, the same ones that lit up like stars, as if he were a child again, when he saw you in all your pitiful glory.

“You’re so beautiful,” he would smile. The only thing that brought the him or you any sense of life, was eachother.

Two broken halves that became whole once together. That was all you were, and all he was, anymore.

And still, you can’t see how death would be any better. For at least here, you needed only for the one who needed you.

art credit:@110mandarin

[weird-an]

tw: mentioned suicide attempts, but Billy can't die, depression, drugs

Billy isn't sure he's alive, but he knows he can't fucking die.

The doctors call it a miracle, he thinks it's a curse. The wounds healed, turning into thin scars, starting to fade after a few days. All the pain becoming only a faint ache. Starcourt is a memory, a bad dream, a fucking joke.

It can't be right. He feels like he's dying, when he's back at Cherry Lane, when he's at home, but far away from California.

His skin feels all wrong, too tight, too cold.

Neil says he's glad Billy survived the "fire at the mall", but he isn't happy about the hospital bills. He's disappointed that all of this happened, but Billy still isn't a man, knows nothing of respect and responsibility. Beating are lessons, but not lasting anymore, the bruises are gone after an hour.

Neil notices. Calls him a freak, a monster - like he has ever seen a real monster, like he knows what it feels like to have one inside his head, like he doesn't see one in the mirror every day.

It's the last day of 1985. Billy can't fucking die.

He tried to using the gun Neil shouldn't have, he tried to using too many pills, he tried to let the Camaro's engine running until he couldn't breathe - but he always wakes up. Sometimes hungover, sometimes hurting, always not dead.

He sits on the Camaro's hood at the quarry, after snorting a line of coke and drinking a bottle of vodka. His heart races, but he still doesn't feel shit.

"Jesus, Billy." Harrington's voice is soft, almost worried. It makes Billy turn around, before he can help himself.

Harrington's got a freaking suit on, tie loosened, hair tousled. He looks as tired as the world is. As Billy is.

"That's one hell of a New Year's party," Harrington says.

"Fuck off." Billy looks away, before he can get lost Harrington's stupid big brown eyes.

"Still better than the Harrington's annual New Year's function." Harrington sits next to him on the car, his knee bumping against Billy's.

"Why are you here?" Billy huffs, staring into the dead of the night. He wants to tell him to piss off, too, but he can't. His pulse is thundering in his ears and he's pretty sure it's got nothing to do with the coke.

"I don't know," Harrington admits. "Maybe I'm... alone."

Billy gets that. He's been alone ever since she walked out of the door.

Harrington laughs and it's a bitter parody of what it should sound like. "I don't know, it's stupid."

"It's not." Billy makes the mistake to turn towards him. Steve is so close. Steve is so warm. "Not at all."

He feels like Steve just offered him a piece of himself and he should give something back, but all he's got to offer is worthless.

"You should stay away," he says, heart in his throat. "I'm a monster."

Steve shakes his head. A curl tickles Billy's skin.

"I've seen monsters and you're not one of them," Steve whispers. His breath is ghosting over Billy's mouth.

Billy shakes, letting go of the breath he didn't know he held. He leans forward, presses his lips against Steve's.

There are fireworks illuminating the sky, pink, gold and blue chasing the darkness away.

Steve kisses back. Billy's lips tingle.

It's the first day of 1986.

Billy is alive. For the first time in months, maybe years.

[chiyeko-kurea]

i recommend this app to help you distract yourself when you feel an urge to hurt yourself!

It’s so cute and calming :D

[suuuicide]

Oop kinda feeling like attempting again

[psychobulimic]

The harder I try things just get worse!!!

[stonerskinny]

i think it’s time for me to go tbh

all i ever manage to do is gain weight and be a shit person. i am the ultimate waste of space & resources. maybe i’ll get the guts to do it this weekend.

[endlessmidnights]

I miss the psych ward, life was easier in there

[agonyalley]

[sad-soul-nessaaa]

i am tired of trying to kill myself. at this rate, it seems like im going live forever… i drank 3 bottles of poison (i can’t disclose what kind) on saturday and passed out with alcohol and weed. i woke up almost normal. so i bought 3 more bottles, but it actually came in pairs so i bought 9. i drank them all like shots and eventually felt soo ill. i expected it but the second time around i wasn’t drunk beforehand and i wasn’t smoking. i just felt conscious and ill and a little bit scared. not scared to die but the fear of suffering the way i was. i fought the urge of telling on myself and struggled to sneak some ice from the fridge for my head and some water and just threw up all night. i read online that throwing this drug up actually makes it more lethal because it thins your stomach lining, so i was hoping to ride it out. some cases i’ve read, the victims of being poisoned died after 3 days. i’m patient and trying to be hopeful, but i’m more afraid that i’ll just have to shoot myself in the end. i’m not confident that i’m about to die. i need to. i can’t keep pretending to live this life; i’m failing at this life. i have to exterminate myself. i am the problem. i can’t even kill myself right.

[princesslovell]

I loved this life the best way I knew how .. but from the bottom of my heart.. I don’t want it anymore.

[suuuicide]

No one talks about how easy it is to die. How you go to sleep and your brain erases everything as you drift into warmth and comfort.

No one talks about how hard it is to live. To know you tried to end it all and you were brought back; to wake up in pain and misery. To be forced to rebuild your life and open your eyes every day even though all you can think about is the peaceful acceptance of your final sleep.

[officersnickers]

Ray was the funniest bitch in all Grace Field House for constantly declaring only Emma, Norman and himself should escape, while he activly plotted to kill himself 0.01 seconds before they could run away.

Sad? Yes. But also comedy gold.