#tw transphobia talk
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NICE! I feel less insane. The original thing for me is I was immediately put off by the word transandrophobia because I already knew the word Androphobia ie the clinical fear of men usually caused by trauma. Like going into it I agreed with them on principle for a bit even being slightly apprehensive. Something else I didn’t mention was a big part of being on “that side” for a little bit for me was -to put it lightly- The Bomb post. Something I still find personally inexcusable but not a reflection of the transfem community as a whole, obviously.(sarcasm not meant at you op) I ended up taking another step back to analyze things after finding out about the “We should be allowed to hunt down [slur for trans women and intersex people] for sport!” post, specifically because it hides behind the shield of “well we only mean this group of bad people.” when said people a) no longer exist online in the same context and b) most of the time get labeled as such and do not identify as one/get labeled so often they call themselves one out of spite.
Anyway wrapping back around to the Androphobia thing, I took the time to unpack that and why the context felt so slimy to me and I think I can put it into words. Bear in mind I might be reading too far into it. Basically, to take a word that at its base means to be afraid of men and fundamentally change its meaning to imply bigotry feels simply gross. We call it’s Transmisogyny because it’s the intersection between being oppressed for your transness and by misogyny. To somehow warp something a group of -primarily women- people have an issue with due to patriarchy and lack of men’s-accountability, and turn it into something wrong with them? I have genuinely seen a few people describe “Androphobia” as an axis of oppression before. I’ve seen people in these spaces try to paint the “Man vs. Bear” argument as ‘misandrist’ and that it’s somehow women’s fault we feel safer alone with a wild animal than with a man.
Sorry to text wall you I just- This has been building up for a while if you can’t tell. Your girl is tired💀
there was a brief period of time when i empathized with transandrobros largely out of my personal discomfort as a nonbinary person with the terms tme/tma - this pretty much entirely dissolved when i began to understand those terms not as obligatorily publicized personal descriptors but as tools with a communicative purpose. perhaps more importantly, i learned that most of the people involved with the proliferation of the "transmisandry/transandrophobia" concept were treating trans women like complete and utter shit and then making tgirls out to be the instigators. for this reason i seriously encourage every transmasc who finds themself feeling riled up against trans women to, like, double check the kind of messages and comments the angry girls are getting. i promise you, it becomes a lot more evident why those women are describing discomfort or fear or bitterness around trans men when you see the kind of sexually abusive, misogynistic, violent messages they're getting first. no, that doesn't excuse every joke or response, but it makes you understand how disproportionate the transmasc reaction can be. and if you can't find what i'm talking about, you don't see any examples of trans men being misogynistic, literally just message me and i'll be happy to provide as wide a range of examples as possible
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vanitas-nightray · 1 month ago
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On the topic of Behemo's gender it's disappointing seeing people being absolutely against him being transfem because it really tells you that they see transgenerity only through binary lens. He can be transfem and still use he/him pronouns. I saw someone saying Behemo is not transfem because Ichika drew him in a suit once and honestly I found that not only transphobic but also misogynistic because there were implications of them thinking that transfems MUST be feminine to be recognised because "why would they dress masculine if they want to be seen as a real girl?" It's heartbreaking, really. Of course we also have the good old "he's just a crossdresser breaking gender norms don't make him trans" while yes, you can absolutely see Behemo as just a crossdressing boy but you can't deny that Behemo's lore is full of transgender narrative, if you don't see that you're either lying or only want to see what's "convenient" for you to see in his story
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pirateprincessjess · 7 months ago
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When I was a child I was struggling at school, and I was unhappy, so my parents started taking me to a therapist. I ended up telling this therapist that I wanted to be a girl. I hadn’t heard the term transgender yet, but I knew I wasn’t a boy.
This therapist told me that it was a fetish. It was my first time hearing the word fetish. She told me that wanting to be a girl was something bad that I should be ashamed of. I was told not to tell my parents because they would be disgusted, and that if anyone found out it could ruin my life.
I held onto that shame for a decade until my senior year of high school when a transgender student started going to my school. I never met her, but I saw her around, and heard people talk about her. This was a transwoman living her life openly and publicly. She was doing the very thing that I was told would ruin my life, but her life didn’t seem ruined. She had friends, and seemed happy. Happier than me.
A year later in October 2013 DC comics published Batgirl #19 by Gail Simone. In this issue Batgirl’s roommate Alysia Yeoh came out to batgirl as a transwoman. Batgirl was so loving and accepting in that moment. My favorite superhero didn’t see anything wrong with being transgender. I sat at my computer reading peoples reactions and reviews to this comic for hours. I sent the author an anonymous message on tumblr thanking her for helping me find the strength to love myself.
I still had a long way to go before I was able to come out, but these things helped me start to heal. This is why visibility and representation are so important. Seeing another trans person in real life, and seeing trans people in the media I was consuming helped me be less afraid, and helped me hate myself less. In october 2019 I started HRT at 25 years old. Nearly 5 years later I’m happier than ever, and I love life.
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lylahammar · 2 months ago
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btw this is a downer but important: project 2025 plans to criminalize pornography, and defines all queer affirming content as such, so a lot of trans creators might have to delete a lot of videos in the future in order to protect themselves. Natalie Wynn (Contrapoints) posted on Patreon about how this is a threat to her career, and she might have to take down a lot of her channel. If you have any comfort content that's made by queer (especially trans) creators, now is a good time to download it for your personal use just in case.
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uncanny-tranny · 23 days ago
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One thing I have seen - even from other trans people! - is this specific implication that while it's inevitable that trans men pass, but trans women are essentially doomed if they want to pass.
I could talk for days about the intricacies of passing for trans people in general. I could talk for hours about why some trans people want to pass, and that it shouldn't be forced. I could talk about the intricacies for trans men and others when it comes to passing because the dynamics don't play out the way it does for cis men a lot of times. But what gets me is the idea that trans women could never pass, that those who do are essentially anomalies is... nasty. It's got nasty implications, and it's feels even nastier when trans people do it.
Trans women, trans men, trans people of all types shouldn't be required, pressured, or forced to pass. That is true. But to say that passing is nigh impossible for an entire subsect of trans people will never not read as evil.
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beebeedibapbeediboop · 4 months ago
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Tumblr just recommended me a post from rad fem account is that for real
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lady-raziel · 6 months ago
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hate to put anything about JK Rowling on your dash but I saw this post and immediately thought about how much of Rowling’s future ideology was foreshadowed in Harry Potter looking back and how much the really shitty things both the “good” and “bad” characters do are all totally reflections of herself…
Like I was specifically thinking about how much Dumbledore’s insistence on calling Voldemort by his birth name bothered me more and more growing up…and now it’s like oh my god duh it was because Dumbledore was literally deadnaming him because using a person’s chosen name (and by extension, pronouns!!) is something that Rowling thinks should be a privilege you receive if someone respects you that can be instantly taken away if you are “bad” and not worthy of respect
Dumbledore refusing to call Voldemort by his chosen name and calling him “Tom” instead (and keep in mind how Voldemort willingly changed his body to a form he was more comfortable with) was literally just thinly-veiled transphobia wasn’t it and the only reason Voldemort isn’t explicitly trans is because Rowling wrote these books in the early 2000s and Voldemort probably IS a trans woman but the whole damn time she’s being misgendered by an unreliable narrator
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spitblaze · 8 months ago
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trans woman: well before my egg cracked, [goes into explicit detail about the social and gender alienation she experienced and the background radiation of dysphoria that she did not realize was dysphoria and how it seeped into so much of her life]
some brain genius: well really this is so vague it could apply to anything. have you considered that we should encourage men to be gnc instead of transgender actually
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aritany · 1 month ago
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don’t know who needs to hear this over the holidays but imposing harm and withdrawing from said harm are NOT equal crimes.
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stiffyck · 1 year ago
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Every time I see something transphobic I’m transing one more hermits gender.
Starting with-
Cleo. Cleo already uses she/they and they are an icon.
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sukibenders · 7 months ago
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The hate from, primarily, straight women in regards to Michael being turned into Michaela is disgusting because it really shows how poorly they, not only, treat wlw ships but also have internalized misogyny because the way they are also talking about Benedict and Sophie but so clearly in a way that's borderline fetishizing--- I can't, especially because what do you mean Francesca's infertility plot is erased now that she's in a sapphic relationship? Like, you don't think that wlw relationship can't struggle with this as well? Be so for real.
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racc00ning · 9 days ago
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Dream: uses exclusively she/her for aimsey Tubbo: "Btw Aimsey is nonbinary. They/Them." Dream: "Okay i will keep that in mind." Dream: "Anyways, Aimsey, she--" (Not an exact transcript, here is the part of the vod i got this from)
COME ON MAN. 😭
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proshipconfessions · 17 days ago
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I'm proship but I do not ship characters and don't care for ship content in general. This sometimes confuses people but I am proship because I have been surrounded by homophobic and transphobic people and I can't in good conscience trust antis... Made the text smaller so it's not massively long on people's screen
If antis can't handle fictional content without harming and threatening other people, then I can only imagine what happens when they hear about kinksters, especially age players. Everyone is a consenting adult, but oh no, you're pretending to be a different age for xyz reason, so that's bad, and oh no, what if kids see? How dare you because this is promoting it to kids yada yada yada...
what's the difference between them and a homophobe? When I was 15 I got outed.. I was told by adults around me that me being attracted to the same gender wasn't a sexuality, just a disgusting sexually deviant fetish and i was damaging the town because of it and that kids were going to be groomed into being a sexual deviant because of me... there's people who think being transgender and having operation to lessen body dysmorphia helps their mental health.. is just a fetish.
That's why I'm proship, I don't see the difference between someone who's anti-kink, Homophobe, Transphobe or an antishipper. They sound the exact same, same moral high ground position, same protect the kid BS stance, same inflammatory language, same accusations and the exact same talking points. Especially when antis turn around and say "oh they actually are not lgbt because they are proship." "Oh that person isn't actually part of the lgbt community because they are a bad person," which comes across them indirectly telling themselves "you're one of the good ones, those other queers are just deviants. But not you, your different" if you look like a duck, quack like a duck and walk like a duck I'm going to assume you're a duck
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our-trans-youth-experience · 2 months ago
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god. i’m scared. i’m so scared. i’m scared of what trump is going to do to us and i’m scared that we’ll be fighting ourselves instead of him and i’m scared that some of us won’t make it. i don’t want to lose anyone else i’m scared that some of my mutuals and irls are considering suicide and i’m scared that if we do make it out i’ll be alone. i’m sorry i just needed to tell someone.
Hey kid, I know it's scary and I'm not going to lie to you and say that it's going to be easy and everything will be ok, because it's gonna be really tough. But our communities have been through things like this and come out of it alive and together. You aren't going to be alone, I've got your back and I'm not going anywhere. So here are some actionable things you can do to help those around you and make this more bearable:
AVOID INFIGHTING AT ALL COSTS. Now more than ever, it is not the time to be fighting with other trans and queer people. We need to stick together as a community, so even if you disagree with someone, don't start an argument, because you have more in common than you have differences.
If you are scared that any particular people that you know are at risk of committing suicide or doing something stupid, then please send them my way. They don't need to use my inbox, if they want to private message they can message @our-trans-youth-experience directly. I am always here, and practically always online so I should be able to respond quickly in an emergency. Same goes for you anon, if you need to talk I'm here <3
Share information, advice and anything else that people in the community may find helpful. Consider attending a queer youth group if you can, or contributing to an online community (which you are already doing, hi there!!) Being active in the community and doing your bit to look after one another is the most important thing.
I hope that this is somewhat helpful. Yeah, it's gonna be hard and it's gonna suck so much but we will survive. Stay safe anon, you're doing great and I'm proud of you <3
-Sage [he/they/neos]
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queerbauten · 5 months ago
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Another sporadic reminder not to misgender Blixa’s transgender son, bitte
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uncanny-tranny · 4 months ago
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"If men got periods/needed abortion/got ovarian or breast cancer, those resources would be handed out like candy! They'd be more plentiful than ATMs!!"
You mean perisex cis men. You mean perisex cis men. Say what you mean.
I'm a trans man. I avoid all medical care because ninety percent of my doctors have not treated me properly because I am a trans man. I am acutely aware that doctors would be more than happy to not provide me care on the basis of my being trans, even if it costed my life.
Every time I so much as think about the doctors, I'm reminded of men like Robert Eads - of how my care is at the whim of the opinions a doctor has about my life. And because of my own past negative experiences, I hesitate to open my patient portal to schedule an appointment. When I have gotten a good doctor, it's not been the rule, it's the exception. I have a doctor right now who I'm lucky to see, who actually treats me like a human being. I'm celebrating that a doctor finally treats me like a person.
If you want to group all men as being the same, I hope you're willing to have that blood on your hands. Because that care is routinely kept away from men, and it's a real, tangible, systemic issue.
I don't talk about this because I see being trans as this negative thing, but because I want to continue living and I want my trans siblings to live. I understand the frustration that people have who say this - it's another systemic issue that also costs lives. However, I am alarmed at the trend of... forgetting or perhaps erasing that this is still an issue for men, that we literally aren't treated the same as somebody like a cis perisex woman. No doctor has ever treated me like one, and of that I know for a fact. And this is a simple fix - be clear about who you mean when you talk about a group of people or a specific phenomenon. That applies when you are talking about any group of people because, generally, these overgeneralizations will be useless because it can't apply to everyone, and might just hurt a group of people you may not even be intending on hurting.
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