#maybe I just needed to share
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When I was a child I was struggling at school, and I was unhappy, so my parents started taking me to a therapist. I ended up telling this therapist that I wanted to be a girl. I hadn’t heard the term transgender yet, but I knew I wasn’t a boy.
This therapist told me that it was a fetish. It was my first time hearing the word fetish. She told me that wanting to be a girl was something bad that I should be ashamed of. I was told not to tell my parents because they would be disgusted, and that if anyone found out it could ruin my life.
I held onto that shame for a decade until my senior year of high school when a transgender student started going to my school. I never met her, but I saw her around, and heard people talk about her. This was a transwoman living her life openly and publicly. She was doing the very thing that I was told would ruin my life, but her life didn’t seem ruined. She had friends, and seemed happy. Happier than me.
A year later in October 2013 DC comics published Batgirl #19 by Gail Simone. In this issue Batgirl’s roommate Alysia Yeoh came out to batgirl as a transwoman. Batgirl was so loving and accepting in that moment. My favorite superhero didn’t see anything wrong with being transgender. I sat at my computer reading peoples reactions and reviews to this comic for hours. I sent the author an anonymous message on tumblr thanking her for helping me find the strength to love myself.
I still had a long way to go before I was able to come out, but these things helped me start to heal. This is why visibility and representation are so important. Seeing another trans person in real life, and seeing trans people in the media I was consuming helped me be less afraid, and helped me hate myself less. In october 2019 I started HRT at 25 years old. Nearly 5 years later I’m happier than ever, and I love life.
#tw: transphobia#transphobia#idk why I felt like writing about this today#but I felt compelled to talk about this#maybe I just needed to share
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I wish she had more scenes... Whateva
#dungeon meshi#rinsha fana#kabru#tumatawart#dont tag as ship#? Do people still use that these days#**SPOILERS in the tags I will ramble a little.**#I like how they have opposite ways of thinking with their shared environment shaping them greatly. I wanted them to talk about it together#Kabru just separates from the group for the rest of the series when the Canaries arrive without any reaction and I was like What...#Maybe briefly entrusting Rin as the party leader since in his eyes she's the most reliable... Having her do things her way.#Not necessarily showing how they fare. Thatd get messy but a slight change in dynamic after they come back together in the finale dinner#Maybe I need to reread I might be missing something u__u
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Doing master studies the only way I know how: Stealing them and making them my guys.
(Barberini Faun)
(The Fallen Angel - Alexandre Cabanel)
(Covent Garden - William Bruce Ellis Rankin)
#obviously. not actually theft...#i was gonna say these are public domain but covent garden actually isnt yet#it will be. in two years.#thats the most different one though like i added a whole new guy..#maybe not the most different. barberini faun is pretty different i just took the post#pose#its barely even a study. thats not true#but. what was i saying.#oh its not theft it's study... the purpose is to learn!!! but also. if im gonna spend like 2 days on something...#its GONNA be my guys#otherwise. idk. i only want to spend 30 or so minutes per study#just to get the notes down and the practice for the skill im working on#i dont get all that much more out of completely rendering a master study. PERSONALLY.#at least definitely not enough to be worth taking 100x longer#but making them my characters makes it worth going all the way!!!#plus it's good practice w like. not just going 1:1 but actually genuinely interpreting whats there so i can manipulate it...#again. personally. this is just how i worm#WORK#youd better worm bitch#uhm... anyways yeah. ive done lots of study but why TF share it LMAO i dont even save it#its just to learn. ive got 1 million other drawings to save and look at later.#once the learning is done it's done its job and i have no need anymore#this is why the only studies i have are from school. i had to save and upload them#well. ok also i dont study as much now BUT in my defense im a full time artist#an hour or so a week is different ok im learning while working too.. i learned how to learn and i do it all the time now#master studies#digital art#my art#illustration#my ocs
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More dude and bruh texts
#UTDR#UTMV#My Art#Cross Sans#Epic Sans#Kross ship#Kinda? Implied maybe?#These two share a bed regardless of relationship. I've just decided#Maybe implied krepic? Because Wick is in my head lol#Epic's collection of pictures of Killer sleeping on Cross grows#He has a whole album on his phone and if Cross knew he would probably combust#Anyway I woke up at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep and my brain would NOT let go of this idea#Drawing this like I'm exorcising the thought out of my head lol#Epic doesn't wanna sleep because nightmares but he does wanna use his bro like a bodypillow real quick#Killer's doing it like every night he must be missing something#Speaking of. Nightmare did see and he does not care#He thinks nothing of sharing a bed because they all do it constantly so this must be normal#His reaction was ''oh good you can wake Killer and tell him too''#And assumes the immense embarrassment coming off Cross is cause he got caught sleeping#TW suicide#Cross is just being dramatic but y'know just to be safe#This is the 3rd thing I've started drawing that involves Killer and Cross and cuddling#I need to finish and post the other two still but this is becoming a pattern lol#Anyway I have to do a shot of cold medicine and go be at work 🎉
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[Day 312] Just lil doodle, wanted to draw them :3
#dddaily4sherin#desert duo#isdoodles#hotguy#cuteguy#dont question the physics idk either LOL maybe cg is grabbing a railing up there or hes just on his way downwards#also ignore all the mistakes HELPELE man i need to practice anatomy more </3#also *2 i AM cooking smth bigger o7 maybe i can finish it tmr but i couldnt share it tdy bc scar isnt done yet LMAO
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yknow what. I wanna say: CSA and COCSA survivors are all incredible, but I also wanna give a shout out to ppl who were exposed to sexual stuff or had any kind of sexual experience as a kid that they either aren't comfortable labelling as or don't consider abuse, but they know it still fucking sucked and shouldnt have happened. Even if that changes later in life and you identify as a victim/surivor, it can be messy to have to imagine those labels applying to the ppl in ur life and that can take time.
The most important thing is to prioritize your recovery + health, and to support other victims + survivors.
#COCSA ment#CSA ment#This is like. V personal and venting (maybe over sharing)#It's. I'm going to be honest recent discussion really brought this back into my brain aaughhh. Not in a bad way necessarily#Just. I know I've had experiences that I think others might label this way and I struggle to really understand that#Beyond the gut feeling of ''it doesnt count'' there's the understand that I might be denying it bc of shame or even just. The fact I have#An internal definition of it that excludes myself. And that I don't want to imagine the other ppl as 'abusive' and I don't think they had#The intent to hurt me. And the fact in one situation I know none of us understood boundaries or consent bc we didn't#Actually talk with adults about what like. Sex and sexuality meant so all out fucking context was porn. And just idk#I have specific experiences but those Memorable Incidents were just part of a larger pattern of me learning Abt sex young#And then failing to get proper sex ed for years. And the internet. And the Fucking Internet#(fanfic is like. Anti sex ed. 70% just the fucking worst shit to internalize 30% ''hey this is actually Okay'')#Sex Ed... Like in school... Needs a fucking HEAVY overhaul but it's still better than nothing usually
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if i said i picked up this issue for anything but drunk erik i fear i'd be lying
(Wolverine (2020) #3)
#xmen#xmen comics#krakoa#magneto#ok fine logan can get a tag too. this IS his story after all ja/lkLAJVEAVKLJ#wolverine#snap scans#i should read the rest of this run but its like 47 issues i think so. gonna take some time with that#spliced up the panels so its easier to look at everything. and so i can frame drunk passed out erik on my wall#someone uploaded some of the first page some time ago but 1.) i forgot to rb it 2.) it didnt include the rest of the scene#it ESP didnt include erik fallin face first on the table and his lil sleepin face on the next page like please im gettin cuteness aggressio#im so miffed that these are printed on the same page cause i woulda framed this spread otherwise like PLEASE#this shit got me GIGGLING SO BAD i cant. 'dare i say it .......' he's so unnecessary i love him so much#he's so silly ..... also someone said it best in that whenever erik's drawn like a bug it's the best thing#like look at him. that's a beetle. that's my little beetle and i love him i need to put him in a terrarium and watch him#honestly theres a LOT of things i have scanned and wanna share however i have to do it. Reasonably so to speak#in that i dont want to accidentally drown out all my doodling with comic scans jvEALKVJEAKL#maybe i'll do it sandwich style ... art -> scan -> art -> scan etc etc#that does remind me i have a doodle i wanted to do today. so maybe ill do that and share another thing i got scanned ....#unfortunately i do very much love reading the comics. a troublesome thing cause theres so much i wanna share and talk about#like from this issue too i love how hank describes what charles' mutation feels like#its not a grand thing but i love it whenever charles' telepathy is described and how it effects him physiologically#maybe hank was just Theorizing what it feels like but still ... i love that insight so much .....#i'll share that quote another time- i prob won't scan the page cause it's just a text log but i will say it was from here dont worry#ok ive rambled long enough BYE im gonna go draw charles
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arrives 15 min late with a latte
......sup
#yosuke hanamura#persona 4#cool now that its done i can ramble in the tags#fellas im surprised hes here and done#did not think that was gonna happen#fuck i forgot smth#eh ill fix it before i make my print#anywho i might make more i might not who knows not i#yukiko is the next one i have half an idea on but also i have some shining nikki designs rattling around with my sole braincell#i also made a shadow alt for the back but idk if i like the mouth so yall arent gonna see him#also i need to find a gold foil guy that does odd sizes and like moq of 1#bc i wanna do this in gold foil#and its tarot card size bc im dumb as hell#but i want a print for my wall and i know sure as shit no one else will want one hence the moq of 1#my heart wants to make the whole major arcana for p4 but my past completed works says °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 𝑛𝑜 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・#so whatever gets done will get done#also im gonna reblog this a lot bc i put in too many hours to get a singular note by me so like if you dont wanna see it block me lmfao#if you have any hot takes for future cards please share with the class bc i only have ideas for yukiko and a full cast she does not make fr#so uh yeah yeehaw#idk what else to ramble about but like cannot believe yosuke fucking hanamura is the first chara to get a completed piece in 5 years#im not fucking kidding#the rest were all quick graphite or abandoned#hes not even my fave in p4- thats naoto protag chan kou and nanako#boys lucky to hit top 5#he just kinda crawled into my affection like some kind of sad pathetic creature idk how it happened either#maybe hes overprocessed now that im looking at it#nope i looked too long this is it this is how he is#ill do better by the women i promise
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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Partial hand bank for Elias from my files. Some flats and some finished/lit ones, so good stuff with light differences!
#solivaga#my art#pu art#artists on tumblr#hands#art reference#art resources#drawing resources#like a weird fusion of milt kahl and sailor moon hands#he needs to go full Other Mother hands maybe#this is only a small portion of the sheet I have saved for myself to re-use and reference#but thought I'd share it since I was adding some new ones#it sucks not being able to use my own hands as reference#my little rat stubs don't do the trick#also please if you do anything like a comic that's very art heavy#don't be afraid of making and using character banks#it's your own art it's not cheating to compile pieces for reuse or reference#save yourself a ton of time and trouble and just have it around just-incase
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At 25:00 in Akasaka Episode 9
#25 ji akasaka de#at 25:00 in akasaka#25時、赤坂で#japanese bl#bl drama#esmetracks#rosygifs#rosygifsjbl#rosygifsat25.00#should I be packing instead of giffing more of this show?#maybe#but I have to get it out of my system#and honestly I just need to share the pain#because sharing is caring
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It's not really good art but after playing the campaign for TWW I really wanted to sketch this.
#I always loved alleria but I can tell you#I love her even more now#also always loved anduin since mop and he does not disappoint#I love him a lot too#im so glad we can share this story with them if that makes sense#also#tww spoilers#maybe#but im not grieving#Perry will get him back!!#he's not dead we just need to go and help him I know it#so now im like :)) waiting#for the next chapters haha#let me go save him >:U#warcraft#alleria windrunner#< she is so awesome#anduin wrynn#HIM#my art#sketch#peregrïn#night elf#kaldorei#warcraft art
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🍂 local man pictured in cool outfit 🍂
alternate caption: slapped a silly lil bow tie on the new trench coat mesh today
#ts4#the sims 4#sims 4#sims 4 screenshots#simblr#holocene.png#hlcn: grant#holocene-learns-to-use-blender-without-cursing-every-five-seconds#the mileage i will get out of this mesh will be sickening#i am the world's biggest sucker for long coats#(signed someone who lives somewhere warm)#i need 28390289043804930849 versions of this for all my sims#starting with this one which i blessed with a bow tie bc why not#(because i prefer my male sims to dress like they've got a lick of sense...also bow ties are just fun)#anyway i have plans to upload this mesh edit if i can make sure it's functional and the swatches are good#i want to make an overlay thing for the bow tie maybe as well but it only works 50% of the time i test it LMAO#if anyone wants to test this mesh edit so that this does get uploaded and i don't forget about it for like two years...i am happy to share
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Winn + Mac fusion idea. lalala.
#clemart#uhm. yeah sure boss up#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#mac opsys#winn dos#<- technically#Crome#idk i got inspired by a lot of the cog fusions going around. a lot of my notes are in the second one#if you can read them. i rushed them bc i wasnt planning on sharing but some of my friends like them ++ i had a change of heart#i dont think ive seen a toon/toon fusion so heh.. you know what i had to do#actually ive had the idea for a little bit. i just needed a push of inspiration#i tried to make them a nice mix between the two but i fear they lean too heavily on one side or another..sighs and kicks rock#technically speaking i wouldve left their arms a solid blue or maybe a blue/white. but i feel like with the hair the yellow is#blocked out. so i thought doing half blue half yellow would be a bit more balancing#like winns (and macs to a degree) design i put the green on the clothing rather than the body#this is a little more colorful than what i think is possible but tch whatever. sniffles. gets scared#i think ive given up on trying to keep drawing toon species that are only in game. go my bugs and jerboas who cares anymore#i might remove the blue from the tail later..idk....
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2024 Tumblr Top 10
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waow 2024 is almost dead!!! gone too soon. feels like it’s been a big year for me art-wise for many reasons, BUT. i’m making 2025 bigger.... hopefully....i’ve made some art goals for next year which i won’t explain in detail but they boil down to 1) do more studies 2) tackle my weaknesses (backgrounds, dynamic poses/angles, uhhh lots of stuff i am a one trick pony right now) 3) get into drawing comics, all of which are in preparation for 4) take my story ideas more seriously and get started on one of the many graphic novels living in my head. i have one in mind i HAVE to complete in my lifetime or i will die, but firstly i’m gonna mess around with some little standalone svanhildr comics perhaps. goat fans rejoice.
anyway i wasn’t meant to ramble so i’ll just say THANK YOU for the support as always!!! i’m very flattered all of these have more than 1000 notes.....crazy. thank you. muah
#tumblrtop10#my art#looking forward to 2025 i really really REALLY REALLY want to get stuck in with my story ideas.....#my main passion project i'm more and more leaning into not even sharing i cannot lie. it's very personally made for ME to love and enjoy#and i suck at a lot of what i'd need to draw for it (humans interior backgrounds and an art style that's at least a little gritty)#GOD it's been taking over my mind so much i want to gnaw on it but it's in my head#so maybe i'll just do a first draft for me and me alone and when i'm in my 30s and maybe better at those things i can draw it finally#actually one of the characters for that features here hiii mockley!!! coming in at number 2 most popular of 2024 i'm so proud of her#her design's come a long way i'm kind of super happy with her as always <3 i love you my repressed old woman dinosaur#ALSO i'm SOOOOO excited about a character i made recently i can't wait to share her with the world#she's been a LONG time coming....my goirl.....#i will hopefully show her off in the new year#ALSO no one will see this i'm sure but thank you to my commissioners for the patience#i have now finished my break and will continue drawing
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Trapped Fear
At first Fright Knight was not loyal to Pariah, maybe it was because he was the combination of many warriors and he knew that tyranny would lead to nothing. However, because of this the former king engaged him in battle and captured his core, making him loyal.
Like all Ancients, Fright Knight could survive without his core but had to obey the person holding it. He and Clockwork shared that unfortunate fate, though Fright Knight considered being at the mercy of the Observants far worse.
When Danny defeated Pariah Dark his control over Fright Knight stopped, the knight foolishly thought he would take back what was his, but the old king was selfish and thrown the stone of fear into the human world, where he knew Fright Knight would not enter.
Disappointed but used to it, Fright Knight resigned to not finding that part of himself, he served Danny from that moment on, becoming his protector and above all, his friend. Until someone found his core and instead of being free, he was summoned and resigned to fulfill the words of his new owner.
Of course, Danny was worried when his knight disappeared from Phantom Palace, and after a long search he found his whereabouts in a city: Gotham. A man called "Scarecrow" was spreading fear in the city, and it seemed very familiar to him.
After a fight with the bats he got the information he needed: his knight was following the man. When he went to face his old friend, the king noticed that Fright Knight was not speaking on his will, he was crying and sending messages of help that only he could understand. The King was furious, and maybe it was time to show why no one messed with what was his.
#dpxdc#ghost king danny#jonathan crane#I like to think that Ancients can survive without their cores#But need to obey whoever has it#Clockwork was doomed to this destiny first#The other ancients were cautious after it#But Fright Knight was the youngest of them and didn't know the story#So he ended serving Pariah Dark#dp x dc#dc x dp#Crane found Fright Knight core out of luck#he didn't know what it was#just that it caused fear on people's mind#When he accidentally summoned Fright Knight he was delighted#The God of Fear had subservient to him#The Bats were worried about Crane sidekick#They didn't hear his reluctance or cries for help#those are emotions that only ghosts can share and understand#Jason maybe sensed it a bit and that's why he felt hesitant to attack#Danny is really mad with the situation#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc crossover
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