#tw sick parent figure + tw sick parent when i was younger (sick-sick)

[onlythebravest]

-

[infernalodie]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 || 𝐀𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧

“𝘖𝘩, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘐 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘖𝘳 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘧? 𝘖𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘯“

Inspo: Sleeping Token - The Summoning

Pairing: Amber Freeman x Black!Fem!reader

Summary: Your open invitation was like you were summoning her to a higher place...

Warnings: Smut, Dom!Amber Freeman, Sub!reader, knife play, praise kink (which is just Amber being disturbing), blood consumption, fingering, and oral.

Words: 1408

DNI IF YOU’RE YOUNGER THAN 18!

Amber’s dark eyes were solely zeroed in on you. Staring at you from the shadows across the street from your house. A perfect view of your window and you sitting at your desk. The faint sound of music able to be heard from the tiny opening of your window with you showing care for the possibility of people in the late hours of the night causing a fuss. But that was the last of everyone’s concern’s when it came to the recent murder’s happening in Woodsboro. Perhaps it was the fact that you knew none of the victims killed personally or you just weren’t scared. Whatever about it had caught Amber’s attention and left an unknowing bubbling in her stomach.

She’d had her eyes on you for a long time–way before she even talked to Richie. And she wouldn’t lie that you were just the perfect design for what she wanted from a companion. An innocent girl that was unaware of the danger lurking beyond the threshold of her front door.

God, the things she would do to you. The things she would do for you.

You had her body and occupied a large majority of her brain that wasn’t already corrupted by the idea of making the perfect stab movie. Because when she wasn’t planning on who to kill within her friend group, she was contemplating how good you would feel around her fingers. Wanting to hear the sweet moans fall from your lips, calling out her name in the darkness, and knowing that she could be the only one to make you feel complete.

Because Amber saw you as branches tangled in a flood. Unable to break free and be taken with the current. Only able to wrestle and worthlessly fight for something you had no control over. Amber was the flood and she wasn’t going to ever stop until she tasted you on her tongue.

Pulling her phone from her pocket, she dialled your phone number before pressing it to her ear. She watched you lift your head from your homework, smiling at your phone before placing it over your ear. “Hello. Amber.”

“Hello, you,” Amber said sweetly. “What are you doing tonight? I hope you’re inside after the shit that’s going on.”

She could hear you scoff and see you rise from your chair and move from her line of vision. “Parents put me on lockdown for the next few weeks until the Ghostface killer is caught,” you replied. “They have to take all my assignments in and then grab whatever is taught and then take what I would get to do in the class. Hell, who knows, maybe I am killed because I am just locked inside a house all day and night.”

Then there was a pause, one that was too eerie for you. And Amber waited, wanting to hear your voice. But what she got was the sight of your front door opening and your caramel skin in the moonlight. Legs exposed with black lace panties covering your glistening heat from the public. A large hoodie hiding enough to be desired for Amber’s eyes. But your gaze was focused in her direction, like a feline’s vision in the dark, you stared at her with a sly smirk etched across your lips.

“But you wouldn’t let that happen right, Amber?”

Amber couldn’t help but release a shaky exhale as her eyes under the Ghostface mask ran up your figure. The large expanse of the inside of each of your thighs and if she was correct, your bare chest that she would leave love bites all across. Already knowing what she wanted to do to you with your open invitation left for her.

And when she stepped out of the shadows, revealing herself as the killer, your lips widened in a sick and twisted grin. “Come and get me, Amber.”

You couldn’t move. You could only allow laboured and choke breaths to fall from your lips, restraining yourself from arching your back from the sinful tongue flicking over your clit. The cold chrome blade of her knife gently ran across your skin.

Its sleek texture and dangerous purpose rivalling your own. Because Amber would dare say that your body was better than any weapon capable of killing. You could bring her to her knees, worshipping the ground you walked on and the way your cunt felt against her lips. You were dangerous and she wanted every bit of you that she could get.

“Fuck.” Looking down with pants falling from your lips, you saw Amber already staring at you, kneeling at the edge of your bed with your legs hoisted over her shoulders. A twinkle in her eyes at the sight of your cloudy eyes. The blade stood between the two of you gently nipping at your flesh. “Fuck, Amber.”

The sound of her name on your tongue was enthralling as you gently pressed the knife further against your flesh until a small droplet of blood appeared. Her lips wrapped around your clit, sucking with her cheeks hollowing with your back arching, pushing further against the knife.

Whatever you were doing to Amber, it was working. If this was a way to bargain for safe passage from her murderous intent to make the next best Stab movie, she was going to spare you. Just as long as you allowed her to see you like this more often. Because the idea of cheating on her boyfriend to experience this heaven-sent sight was making it all worth it. She would kill for you. Deliver the body to your front step still warm if it meant tasting the divine gift you held.

Parting from your drenched cunt, Amber pressed her gloved fingers to your clit and traced rapid and pressured circles into the bundle of nerves. Kissing, sucking, and nipping at the insides of your thighs, listening to your moans fill the quiet and dark bedroom.

“How’d you know I was Ghostface?” She murmured, kissing around your cunt that squeezed around nothing.

A shaky laugh fell from your lips, it quickly being replaced by a whimper from the blade gently cutting your flesh. “You’re a Stab fanatic,” you stated. “I’ve seen your room and the posters. Wasn’t hard to connect the dots, sweetheart.”

Amber’s lips cut into a smirk, standing to her feet and leaning down, kissing your stomach. Her eyes flickered up at you as her wet tongue graced your skin. Trailing up your sweating flesh and taking the droplets of blood on her tongue and humming. So warm. So sweet.

“God, you’re a gift, baby.” Kissing your plump breasts, she wrapped her lips around your pebbled nipple. Feeling your hands reach up and grasp the back of her head, sighing in contentment as you pulled her closer. “I would love to see you covered in someone’s blood. That would be a perfect scene in a horror movie.”

You chewed on your bottom lip, unable to hide the soft rut of your hips, seeking more from the god-given woman above you. Well, she was the farthest from God and she had noticed your needy body. Smiling as she slid her fingers from your clit and to your entrance, pushing past the fluttering. Tilting her head up with an open-lipped smile as you inhaled sharply.

“So fucking hot,” she moaned, curling her fingers as she gently thrust her digits into you. “Squeezing on my fingers so nicely. You’re just a dirty slut for me, aren’t you?”

“Amber.” The knot in the bottom of your stomach was tangling and growing tighter. Unable to hide the writhing of your body as you grounder hips against the palm of her hand. The cool leather against your clit became the grounding you sought as the precipice of your dopamine shot you into cloud nine. And Amber watched your face twist in expressions of pleasure, choking on your moans and calls of her name as the walls of your pussy twitched and clenched around her. A beautiful feeling that she wanted to make sure no one would ever experience besides her.

Your hot pants fanned her face as your half-lidded eyes stared up at her. “Okay,” she breathed, lips twitching to a grin when your tongue flicked at her lips. Daringly challenging her to keep going, reminding her that you are someone she shouldn’t underestimate. You were a batch of surprises. “I think I’ll keep you as a little secret, sweetheart.”

[ratwife77]

Idk what to call this so I’ll just say unfortunately my favorite duo is Dallas and Darry (for the moment lol it changes every day)

Tw: suicide

Hope y’all enjoy, this is 1398 words, motivation goes brrrr

I only read through this once so hopefully it makes sense

He stepped out of Buck’s bar with two things on his mind: Advil, and a bite to eat. Last night was rougher than Dallas had expected, even for his first night out of the cooler. It was miserable in there, and he had to watch everything a little closer, eyes shifting more. Even if he didn’t want to, he behaved himself. He didn’t want to be there alone for long.

So when he got back, he drank enough to give himself a hangover. It wasn’t ideal, but he hadn’t been able to calm down, and it’d taken the edge off for a while. He walked a little quicker, intent on getting rid of the pounding in his skull. Soon enough, he saw the DX. Soda wasn’t there, and neither was Steve. It was Saturday, he guessed.

Licking his lips and wiping his clammy hands off on his roughed up jeans, he reached for the Advil. He realized he was worse off than he even felt when the pills began to rattle in his hand. Hastily, he steadied the hand with his other one. After he’d pocketed it and walked out, unnoticed by the cashier reading a magazine, he wiped the sweat off his forehead. Dallas cursed under his breath, hoping he wasn’t sick.

He’d been planning on seeing if some of the guys wanted to go see a race or catch a movie. When he was a block or so down the road, he pulled the medicine out and took one. Usually, he hated the bitter taste, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He continued to walk, then abruptly stopped, swaying on his feet. Dots of color flooded his vision, assaulting him as his ears rang. Despite that, he continued to walk, opting to head to the Curtises. He figured he wouldn’t make it to Buck’s.

When he got there, the headache had faded, but he felt pretty nauseous. Letting the screen door slam behind him, he walked in. It was pretty quiet for it being a Saturday. He called, “Anybody home?”

A voice that could’ve only been Darry’s replied, “Don’t slam the door! I’m in the kitchen!”

Even Darry didn’t tell Dallas what to do, but it was a reflexive statement. Dallas figured Ponyboy was asleep or something, and that was why Darry was keeping it quiet. Lately, he’d stuck to his room more, hiding away after his parents... He was strong, but he was sensitive, not rough. Dallas wasn’t sure if he hated that about him or if it was the better way to be. He only knew that he couldn’t stand to be that way.

Shaking the thoughts away and regretting the pain it caused him to move his head, he entered the kitchen. “Boy howdy, Darry, you look like you haven’t slept in a week!” In all honesty, he’d started to look like that more and more often. Not necessarily what a person looked like after an all nighter, with no bags under his eyes or sluggish movements. But shrugged shoulders and a defeated look- not the pride he had when he’d thought he was going to college. He didn’t look like himself, dressed in his clothes but also something else; a look of someone who was broken down, kicked about.

Darry shrugged, but his smile picked up a notch. Dallas wasn’t one for a polite greeting. “Thanks, Dally. Are you hurt real bad?” His eyebrows came together, and he looked the younger boy over.

“Just a…” he paused, shutting his eyes in pain but trying to put the smirk back up. Darry had his teeth clenched and his hand tapping the counter, hoping Dallas wasn’t as sick as he looked. “Headache, ‘s all. Mind if I lay over here?” Again, he wiped the sweat off his forehead and palms, trying to stop the shaking.

Darry didn’t call his shit, just nodding. Dallas was glad for that. Stalking back over to the crummy old couch, he laid down, honest to god thankful that he had a buddy that he could count on. It was better than loning it in jail, by a long shot. Slowly, he drifted off, able to sleep for what he assumed was an hour or so. He got up carefully, feeling somewhat better, but he smelled what he realized was spaghetti sauce cooking.

He’d slept all day.

The tow-headed boy made himself get up quickly, aggravated that he’d slept so long. He wasn’t necessarily productive on the daily, but he’d wasted all that time… he could’ve been hunting for action or something.

When he walked to the kitchen, meaning to leave, Darry regarded him with a lukewarm look. He was about to say he was gonna get going, not wanting to bum off of the already struggling Curtises too much, when Darry started talking.

“I reckon you should stay for dinner, Dally.” He smiled invitingly, and Dallas knew why the Curtis house was still a place they all came to. Darry was always there to take care of them. Even though he’d been around Darry for years, his throat went dry. He looked at the ground, then up at Darry again. His fists clenched, then unclenched, and the tightness in his face eased slightly.

“Alright, mom. I guess I ought to.” He shrugged Darry off, his eyes saying the thanks that he failed to verbalize. He ran a hand through his hair halfheartedly, taking care of some of the knots. Hardly awake, still, he nearly ran into Pony. “You’re so short, couldn’t see ya’, kid,” he said, chuckling and ruffling his hair.

Ponyboy shook his head, halfway grinning and half angry. He hated when people picked at him for being smaller or younger or whatever. Dallas eased up on him. “I’m just kidding, jeez.” He raised his hands in mock surrender. He guessed that Pony wasn’t having a good day today, because he just brushed him off and didn’t say anything much, just a quick quip.

There wasn’t much going on, so he lit a smoke and turned some show on, not really paying attention to it. Darry must’ve not smelled it, because he didn’t say anything.

Dallas felt something awful in his gut when he thought about that. He wasn’t trying to be an asshole. It was just…

He stopped thinking about it, resting his feet on the coffee table. His head was starting to hurt again, and so was his stomach. All he could do was shut his eyes, putting his cigarette out. The smoke had been making it worse. He was glad nobody was home except Darry and Pony, because he knew Darry wouldn’t blab and Pony wasn’t in a state to notice.

Soon enough, Darry called that dinner was ready.

He couldn’t quite get there in one go, a sudden burst of light in his vision. He mumbled curses, but got to the table. Darry pretended not to notice his state, knowing it might set him off if he prodded. They were careful about each other, and that bothered him, somewhere down in his stomach. But he took a bite.

The warmth of it surprised him, and it made him realize how hungry he really was. He hadn’t eaten since.. lunch, yesterday. Damn.

He ate pretty quickly, but didn’t get seconds. He’d taken enough. Darry opened his mouth to protest, but Dallas interrupted. He was feeling a little better, anyway.

“I’m not really hungry. Thanks, Superman. I’m gonna get going.” Darry might’ve argued, but he let it go. Maybe he was feeling the strain on his wallet.

Or, Dallas thought he did. “Dally, we’re here whenever you need.” His eyes widened. Darry meant every word he said, he wasn’t a liar.

“Yeah.” He nodded, setting his plate in the soapy water of the sink.

He needed the gang, and they needed him.

Maybe that was why he was punching in the Curtises number, with shaking hands and teary eyes. “I need to hide from the fuzz.”

Johnny was dead and nothing was right and- soon enough, he saw the lights of a police car flashing. He heard 5 people’s desperate footsteps. But most of all, he felt a hole that’d never be filled inside of him- maybe a hole that’d always been there, just growing to a full chasm inside him that night.

That empty space, that void, could be fixed permanently with a bullet.

[randomfanficsig]

“I was 15”

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Summary: You were interrogating your unsub who raped and murdered 7 teenage girls, until it gets to personal for you and Reid has to physically pull you out the room. The team soon learns a lot about your past.

Tw: mentione of rape, sexual abuse from parent. Mentions of murder. Teenagers.

—— ——

“They were 15 years old!” You shouted at the criminal sat in-front of you, trying your absolute best to hold back tears.

He simply just stared at you with a sadistic smile. It wasn’t hard to figure out what he was thinking and that truly made you sick to your stomach.

“15.They were 15. And you degraded them and took away all their innocence and control” you began shouting again, tears streaming down your face.

Reid, Morgan and Hotchner all sat behind the glass, questioning looks on their faces. Why was this so personal to you?

Once again, the unsub stayed quiet, same nasty smile on his face. Now was the time to try and hit a nerve.

You walk round behind him. “Was it because you couldn’t get laid when you were younger or because you were so weird to the other kids? Or maybe it was the fact you could never get it up?”

His face dropped, anger taking over.

“Did I hit a nerve there? Did I hurt your itty bitty feelings?” You mimick with a teasy babyish tone.

He stares at you, the smile back on his face. “And if you were 15, I would do the exact same to you, listening to how you’d beg for me to stop, how tears would run down your face just like theirs did. God they felt so good” his laugh makes you feel sick, bringing bile to your throat. “Maybe I’d even slit your throat just like I did theirs” he finishes.

Anger quickly took over, causing you to smash his head directly into the metal table, and wave of satisfaction hitting you as you listen to his nose crack under the pressure.

“THEY WERE 15 YEARS OLD. 15! YOU TOOK THERE LIVES FROM THEM. THEY HAD DREAMS,ASPIRATIONS AND YOU CRUSHED THEM UNDER YOUR FEET LIKE A CIGARETTE. I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!” You screamed at him, tears uncontrollably streaming down your face.

You didn’t even notice Reid and Morgan come into the room, until a pair of skinny arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you out the room.

“THEY WERE 15! I WAS 15!” You cried to Spencer, bashing your fists into his chest. He quickly grabs your wrists stopping your outburst of anger .

Next thing you know, his arms are wrapped around you, one holding your head into his chest the other around your biceps, holding you in place while you broke down in his arms. He just holds you, comforting you.

Derek walks out the interrogation room, heading to Penelope.

————

“Hey baby cakes” Derek starts, walking into Penelope’s office. “I need you to do a favour for me”

“Of course hot thing, what is it?” She quickly replies, playing into Dereks flirty behaviour.

“I need you to look into y/n’s past for me”

Garcia quickly looks up at him. “What happened to not profiling or not digging into each others pasts”

“I know baby, but this is really important”

With hesitation, she turns to her computers, typing magic into the keyboard. Not long after, a gasp leaves her mouth.

“Y/n y/l/n, raped at 15 by her father. Sexually abused from the moment she hit puberty. Sent into the system after her father died of ‘unknown reasons’. Mother died during child birth, meaning she was never around.” Garcia repeats from the screen. “Not my y/n, I love that girl” she finished looking back at Derek.

He leaves the room as quickly as he came in, this time anger filling his veins.

“Hotch, i need a word” he demands, walking into Aaron’s office.

Aaron looks back at him knowingly. “I already know, Garcia just sent over the report”

They both walk out, heading over to west Spencer and you stand. Derek joining in on the hug, not long followed by Aaron, which is a surprise as he doesn’t hug.

Penelope soon joins. “We love you y/n you know that right?”

You look up at them all. “You know don’t you?” You question, tears staring up again.

Your questioned was answered by the sympathetic looks starring at you.

“It started after I got my first period; the touches, the groping, the walking in on me while i showered. It only got worse as I developed more. He constantly made me try on bras to ‘make sure they fit correctly’ while he watched. My own father” you began explaining. “And not long after my 15th birthday, his best-friend, someone i considered my uncle, took me out for a ‘late birthday day dinner’ but ended up raping me in his car in an empty parking lot.” You continued explaining. “When I was 17 my dad and his best-friend killed them selves, but it was ruled out as unknown circumstances” you finally finished, the tears much more heavier this time.

Everyone hugged you again.

“I love you all, I really do” you stated one last time.

They all simultaneously tightened the hug; and that’s when you knew you found the family you always wanted.

————

[hp-rarepair-requests]

Oops! I realised that I had to be more specific

- Augurlight (Delphi x Albus)

- Muggle au

- Abusive relationship

-Albus realizing that Delphi was grooming him (Flashbacks would be nice if possible)

All good! I can absolutely do that!

Augurlight Oneshot

TW/CW: Grooming, Child Predation and CSA

Albus sat in his bedroom, curtains closed, headphones blasting, homework unfinished, and food left to go cold. He wasn’t really sure what day it was, or what time it was, but he really didn’t care. He couldn’t explain the depression he had fallen into. Or maybe he could and he just didn’t want to admit it.

~

“Come on, Dad! Please!” Albus begged.

“For the hundredth time Albus, no,” his father refused him yet again. “You need to finish school.”

“Come on! The kids are mean!” Albus whined. “I passed all the necessary exams for finishing school, I have a job, I can start working more hours and even pay board!”

“I don’t care Albus, you need to complete your education,” his father tried to keep a hushed voice as they browsed the shop, looking for a specific CD for Lily’s upcoming birthday. “I’m not letting you drop out just to chase some fantasy.”

“This isn’t about music—“

“Then what is it about?”

“It’s about not having to go back to that shithole of a school!”

“Watch your language!” His father scolded. “I can’t find it. Stay here while I talk to that worker over there.”

Albus groaned and slumped against the shelf of CD’s. He was sick of that high school. Hogwarts was shit, and any wayward misfit with half a brain knew to stay far away from the preppy shitheads that wore the maroon and blue uniform. He was so sick of his classmates constantly bullying him, and he wasn’t even learning anything he could use in the career he wanted. They’d bloody cut the Music Program, the whole reason he’d even been trying to stay well enough behaved to avoid expulsion.

“Hey,” Albus turned to see a worker, with silver and blue hair and thick eyeliner. “Delphi. I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with your Dad?”

“Oh, that,” Albus shuffled. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine, happens a lot,” Delphi smiled. “Hogwarts uniform?”

“Don’t worry, I won’t sue you for breathing,” Albus answered. “Not unless you breathe too loudly.”

“I’ll try not to. We get a lot of your classmates in here. Usually they’re upset that their Dad’s aren’t buying something super expensive for them.”

“Nah, I’ve got a different kind of dysfunctional family.”

“I can tell,” Delphi plucked something from Albus’ face and he felt it heat up. “Eyelash. Sorry about your Dad. Sucks when your parents don’t believe in you.”

“Well, I don’t know if he doesn’t believe in me,” Albus cleared his throat. “He just … he’s an adult, he probably knows better.”

“I don’t know,” Delphi knocked Albus’ shoulder. “You didn’t start singing the lyrics to Emo Girl when you saw me. Makes you much more mature than some of the other kids your age. It’s also not that hard to enter the music scene. I would know, my band The Augurey are doing pretty well.”

Delphi walked away as Albus saw his father approaching, Lily’s gift in hand.

~

Albus rubbed his eyes and took his earphones out. There had been a light tapping at his door, and when he pulled it open he saw his younger sister. Lily was in her soccer uniform, with dirt on her shins. She’d just got back from practice, it was afternoon.

“Just figured I’d let you know we won,” Lily grumbled. “Not that you even cared to show up.”

“Won what?” Albus asked.

“The game. The Liverpool Griffins are moving onto the semifinals.”

“You had an actual game today?”

“Yes, and you promised you’d come to this one!” Lily crossed her arms. “You’ve become a real jerk these holidays.”

“Oh my God. Lily I am so sorry. I completely forgot.”

“Yeah, I know! Couldn’t even get out of bed to say goodbye this morning.”

Lily turned and began to storm off.

“Lily wait!” Albus followed her. “I don’t even know what day it was.”

“Save it, Albus,” Lily shook her head. “I would invite you to the next one but I doubt you’d show up. Dad’s making soup for dinner, maybe you can show up for that?”

Lily slammed her bedroom door shut and Albus felt lost. How could he forget something as important as Lily’s game? It was the first one where he wouldn’t be too busy working at The Three Broomsticks to go! He’d promised to go! He hadn’t been able to go to any of her other games that year and she missed his support in the stands. And he missed cheering her on from the crowds. How could he forget something as important as that?

~

“Well, well, well, we meet again,” Albus looked up in shock to see none other than Delphi. “Studying for a test?”

“Algebra,” Albus informed her.

“God, what year?”

“Year ten.”

“Yikes,” Delphi hissed in sympathy. “So your doing all that expand and simplify bullshit with the brackets.”

“Yep,” Albus sighed. “Although, it looks more like hieroglyphics to me.”

Delphi giggled. “You’re funny. What was your name?”

“Albus,” he answered, blushing at the compliment. “I work at The Three Broomsticks just down there.”

“Oh sick, my band is performing a gig there this Friday night.”

“I’m working this Friday night.”

“Oh, so you’re getting paid to see The Augurey live. Now that’s an honour.”

Albus laughed. “What instrument do you play?”

“I’m all vocals,” Delphi clarified. “What about you?”

“Oh um, I used to do the music program at my school before they cut it,” Albus fiddled with his pencil, feeling suddenly shy under Delphi’s piercing brown eyes. “Guitar, bass, drums, piano, little bit of vocals.”

“Oh, so you are literally just a one man band?”

Albus laughed to the point of smiling very brightly. “I guess you could call me that. If you can call a fourteen year old with no released songs a one man band.”

“You’ll be a one man band eventually,” Delphi ruffled his hair. “I have faith in you.”

~

Albus closed his bedroom door and pulled out his phone. A notification popped up and he bit his lip. The Augurey’s social media. They’d posted something new.

Albus opened the app and saw the pictures. Delphi smiling with the rest of her bandmates. Pictures from whatever event they were at now. Pictures he couldn’t help but stare at. Especially the last one. The picture was technically of Rascal and Vermyn, the bassist and guitarist, but Albus was focused on the background. Delphi with some guys tongue shoved down her throat.

Albus hadn’t learnt this guys name. He appeared in many pictures. Sometimes he was even in the foreground. But Albus hadn’t learnt his name. Didn’t want to. He just wanted to know why Delphi would lead him on the way she did.

~

Albus was left to close up close up the restaurant while his manager, Rosmerta, went over the employee schedules for the next week. He found he quite enjoyed The Augurey’s live performance that night. He’d hoped to speak to Delphi at some point, but he was stuck as the dishwasher for most of the night, but the few times he had been out cleaning tables he could of sworn she’d been looking at him. He was pretty certain she’d even winked at him at some point.

“Hey Albus!” He jumped when Delphi came up behind him. “Did you enjoy the show?”

“Yeah, you guys are really good. You have a very good voice.”

“Thank you,” Delphi smiled brightly and touched Albus’ cheek. “You lose a lot of eyelashes. So, are your parents here to pick you up?”

“No, I was going to catch the bus home.”

“You’re kidding?” Delphi’s jaw dropped even further when Albus shook his head. “You can’t catch the bus home at this time of night! There are creeps and weirdos out there.”

“Aside from the creepy weirdo I’m talking to now?” Albus asked, wiping the last corner of the bench down. “It’s fine, I do it all the time.”

“It’s not fine!” Delphi sighed. “How about I drive you home?”

“What?”

“Come on! I won’t be able to sleep tonight if I don’t mKe sure you get home safe.”

Albus felt his face heat up at that. He supposed a car ride with Delphi wouldn’t be the worst thing to ever happen. “Alright, I can give you the directions.”

“Great! Let’s go.”

Albus let out a nervous breath as he followed her to her car, locking the shop door behind himself. She drove a second hand car, small and inexpensive, but the inside was decorated with plenty of gothic delights. He got into the passenger seat and told her where to go.

“So, you hate Hogwarts I take it?”

“Uh, yeah,” Albus shook his head. “Bit of an understatement really. I get bullied. Really badly. And the teachers don’t do shit about it.”

“I feel that,” Delphi sighed. “Wish there was something I could do to help.”

“It’s alright,” Albus chewed on his lip. “My house is that one.”

Delphi pulled into the driveway. “Damn, you’re families loaded.”

“Yeah, we are.”

Albus went to get out of the car but Delphi grabbed his wrist and stopped him.

“What are you—“

“My phone number,” she wrote the digits onto his palm. “Message me next time you have work late. I don’t like the thought of you catching the bus this late at night.”

“Oh,” Albus swallowed. He had her number, that was fun. And really nice of her to be so worried for his well-being.

Delphi caressed his cheek and rested her hand on his face. “Eyelash. I’ll see you later.”

“See you later.”

~

Albus threw his phone to the floor and curled up in his blanket. He really shouldn’t have been surprised. She was pretty, she was semi-famous, she was older. And they weren’t exactly on good terms at the moment either. Of course something like this would have happened.

He wanted to curl into such a small little ball it was like he didn’t exist. No one could hurt him or lead him on that way. People wouldn’t even be able to look at him, let alone talk to him.

“Albus,” he groaned when he heard his fathers voice just outside his door. “Dinners ready.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Come on, you haven’t had dinner with us in a week,” his father answered. “I’m starting to get a little worried.”

“I’m fine.”

“Well, if you’re fine you come down to dinner. Come on, get up.”

Albus groaned, and crawled out of bed again. Why him? Why that day?

~

Albus walked out of admin with his letter, supposedly his aunt Hermione was there to pick him up for an appointment he hadn’t even known about. God, his time management skills could really use some work.

As Albus left the school gates he noticed a familiar beat up car. It didn’t belong to his aunt, her car was certainly not beat up, but it did belong to someone else he knew. Someone he was much more excited to see.

“Oh my God, you did not just get me out of school.”

“Hey,” Delphi shrugged. “I told you I wanted to do something to help. Come on, we’re going to the beach.”

“The beach? Are there even any good beaches nearby?”

“Of course there are! You just need to know where to look!”

Albus smiled brightly and got into the car with her. He hadn’t properly skipped school like this in a long time, it was exhilarating.

“Alright Eyelashes, let’s go.”

Albus came down the stairs to see the rest of his family had already started eating their soup. He approached the counter and filled up his bowl. Pumpkin soup. He plonked down at the table, feeling much like the rain that poured outside the window.

“Hoods off at the table, Albus.”

Albus groaned at his mothers words, and yanked the hood from his head before continuing to eat.

“So as I was saying, it’s a very delicate and difficult case,” his father complained about work. “Grooming is a very difficult crime to prove. Our evidence is circumstantial at best.”

Albus ripped a piece of bread and dipped it into his loaf.

“I mean, how am I even supposed to prove he did this? It’s not like he ever actually hurt her, just made it so he could.”

“What?” That confused Albus.

“What’s confusing you?”

“How could he have groomed her if he never hurt her?”

“Grooming is the process of creating an environment which enables abuse,” his father clarified. “A very common misconception people have is that you have to actually h physically hurt someone.”

“Oh.”

~

Albus flopped down onto his towel, and let the rare sunshine beat down on him, giving him a much needed tan. Delphi soon after joined him, and he tried not to look at her too much. He really should have realised that the beach entailed a certain amount of vulnerability.

“That was fun, but I think I might have to take you back to school soon.”

Albus groaned very loudly. “Please don’t.”

“What do you want me to do?” Delphi sat up. “Hold you captive here forever?”

Albus jumped when Delphi pounced on him and they began to wrestle in the sand. His leg was only slightly tangled in his towel by the time she managed to get on top of him. Oh goodness, this was a very compromising position. He only hoped she didn’t do anything to uh … provoke him, we’ll say.

“You’ve got another eyelash,” Delphi’s fingers danced across Albus face as she wiped the stray hair away.

“I swear I didn’t used to lose eyelashes this regularly,” Albus sighed, hoping to get her off from on top of him. This was not something he felt ready to deal with.

“Sure,” Delphi’s face seemed to move impossibly closer, and her breath grazed over Albus’ lips. All he’d have to do is move slightly and they’d practically be snogging.

“We should go,” Delphi got up and put her shirt back on over the top of her bikini. “Your parents will surely be mad if you aren’t home in time.”

~

Albus finished his soup and climbed the stairs before anyone could stop him. He needed some space. Desperately.

Albus opened his laptop and stared at the search engine for a moment. He began to chew on his nails, feeling his stomach roil with the unasked question still lingering in his head. What was he even supposed to do in this type of situation? What was he even supposed to look up?

He swallowed and quickly typed up his question before staring at it. The fact that he even felt the need to ask felt a bit like a confirmation, but he couldn’t be certain. He pressed enter.

How do you know if you’ve been groomed?

~

“What’s this?” Albus asked.

“It’s a birthday present,” Delphi answered.

“My birthday is in October.”

“Just open it.”

Albus smiled before tearing into the gift Delphi had gotten for him. He pulled open the box and inside there was nothing more than a business card. Riddle Studios?

“I may have pulled some strings with my manager,” Delphi clarified. “They’re going to let you record one song, and if they like it and it performs well they might take you on.”

“You’re joking.”

“No joke.”

“Oh my God! Delphi!” Albus got up. “Thank you so much! God, I could kiss you!”

“What?”

“What? Um … not actually kiss you. Just — you know it’s an expression.”

“Right,” Delphi nodded. “Well, I’ll pick you up on Saturday and drive you there.”

“Yeah,” Albus nodded excitedly.

“See you,” Delphi left a peck on Albus’ cheek before walking away.

~

Grooming is the action of attempting to form a relationship with a child or young person, which would enable you to sexually assault them or persuade them to commit some type of crime, such as drug dealing or joining a terrorist organisation.

Albus wasn’t sure that exactly applied to him. He’d been a child, he was a child, but … he didn’t — he didn’t know.

A groomed child may think they are: in a special relationship with the person hurting them, experience self-blame over the the abuse they are experiencing, be confused by the nature of the relationship, and have a fear of harmed or abandoned if they speak out or defy their groomer.

~

Albus had initiated it, but he immediately regretted it. It was stupid really. To think someone as amazing as Delphi might return his feelings. As soon as he’d kissed her he felt like he’d made some horrible mistake and that he needed to run as far away as humanly possible. Something about it just felt innately wrong. Like he’d done something he really shouldn’t have.

“I am so sorry,” Albus stepped back. “I should go. That was — sorry!”

“Albus! It’s fine,” Delphi stopped him from running away. “Nothing to be sorry for.”

Delphi pulled Albus in and this time their kiss was much more of a mutual experience. And it was nice. He’d never really kissed anyone before, so he hoped he was doing it right. Delphi was definitely much more experienced in that regard. And it showed. Delphi was very good at kissing, Albus found.

~

Well, that just didn’t apply to Albus. Right? There was no abuse to feel any guilt or self-blame over. There couldn’t be. Could there? He tried to think. Had Delphi at any point actually abused him? Sure, technically she didn’t need to abuse him for it to be grooming, but there wasn’t anything to blame himself for. Was there?

He’d admit, he had felt special, he had been a little confused by their relationship, he had done things just because he was worried she’d leave if he didn’t, but he didn’t blame himself for … okay he did. Just a little bit. But it was fine because it was technically his fault. The self-blame thing surely only applied when he hadn’t actually done anything wrong right? Because he had! He’d let her get close to him, he’d initiated their … situationship? Relationship? Their whatever! He’d been the one to start it and make it confusing. He made the choice to not defy her. It was his fault.

So, therefore, it couldn’t have actually even been grooming right? What even was the definition of sexual abuse?

~

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going on tour?” Albus asked. “I mean, I figure that’s something you tell your … friend?”

“I was going to,” Delphi got up from her seat on the couch. “But it’s not even like it’s a major tour. We’re just going around England. Nowhere too far away.”

“Right, just the other side of the country,” Albus shrugged. “Would have been nice to know.”

“What? You aren’t proud of us? After all I’ve done for you, you can’t accept that I’m also making progress?”

“That’s not it—“

“Then what is it?”

“You’re leaving…,” Albus sighed. “I just — I thought we were close enough that you’d let me know first.”

“We are that close,” Delphi came over to him and rested her hands on his shoulders. “Come with us.”

“What?”

Albus was dumbfounded. There was no way she was actually inviting him to go on tour with her.

“Come with us!” Delphi’s smile widened. “Come on, you hate school, you hate your family, leave it behind and come with us.”

Albus took a step back. “Okay, first of all, I don’t hate my family. I just don’t always get along with them. And second of all, I can’t just go with you. I have a job, other friends, and my parents are worried enough that I keep disappearing from school and the house. I can’t just runaway.”

“Sure you can!” Delphi held his face now. “Please? For me?”

Albus didn’t know what to say. Delphi kissed him to see if maybe that would be convincing. It wasn’t.

“It’ll be fun.”

“No, I’m putting my foot down,” Albus shook his head and started leaving. “I can’t go with you.”

~

Sexual assault refers to the act of intentionally touching someone in a sexual manner without consent, through either force or coercion. It’s a form of sexual violence that includes child sexual abuse, groping, rape and sexual torture.

Albus scrolled down, trying to find further explanation on what child sexual abuse might entail. He didn’t think he was abused; it was just good to make sure. He seriously doubted he encountered anything severe enough to be considered abuse. And he’d been the one to initiate their relationship in the first place. So it was probably fine.

~

Albus got up from the couch and walked over to the door. Lily was at football practice and their Dad had been the one to drive her. Their Mum was stuck at work so Albus and his older brother, James, were the only ones left at home. He had to assume James took advantage of this absence of people and invited over a couple friends.

He pulled the door open and was surprised to see Delphi of all people standing outside.

“Can we talk?”

“Uh, sure,” Albus stepped aside and let her in. “We better go up to my room, so James doesn’t see you.”

Albus brought Delphi to his bedroom, and gently closed the door behind her. He was sort of glad they were getting the opportunity to talk before she had to leave. They could sort out the argument they’d had and calm down.

“I guess we should—“

Albus was startled by Delphi just grabbing his face and beginning to snog him. They’d snogged maybe a couple times, but never like this. Albus raised his hands to her head as his back hit the wall. His head hurt a little bit, and he winced, trying to separate for at least a moment to rub where his head had hit. But he hadn’t been able to. At least, he hadn’t been the one to separate.

Delphi pulled away only momentarily before attacking his neck. Which, wasn’t really something they’d ever done. It felt a little weird, but kind of nice.

“Um, you said you wanted to talk?” Albus was a little confused now. Not upset, but definitely confused.

Delphi sighed and pulled away. Did he do something wrong?

“Just … wanted to see if maybe you’d changed your mind?”

“Well, I haven’t,” Albus slouched. “You know why I said I couldn’t go.”

“Oh, come on!” She complained. “After everything I’ve done for you, you kind of owe me!”

“Travelling around the country isn’t something I can just do, Delphi,” Albus groaned. “I already told you, my parents are worried enough about me as is. If I left with you they’d probably send a whole search party looking for me.”

“Then leave a note,” Delphi stepped closer. “Please? Can’t you just be the least bit supportive?”

Albus swallowed. He could theoretically go with her, and there was probably a scenario in which everything turned out fine. But Albus didn’t think this was that scenario. He was in enough trouble as it was for constantly sneaking out and skipping school to go see her, although his parents didn’t know about Delphi’s involvement. He didn’t want to make things worse. And Lily kept asking him to go to one of her games. He’d promised to go to one as soon as he could, he couldn’t do that if he was on tour with The Augurey.

“I am supportive, and I’m sorry but I can’t just—“

Albus gasped when Delphi’s palm hit his cheek, and stilled as the sting spread across his face. She’d slapped him. She had just slapped him. And it hurt. Really bad.

“Fine, I don’t need you there anyway,” Delphi stormed out while Albus stood frozen in disbelief.

~

Child sexual abuse (CSA) occurs when an adult or older adolescent abuses a child for sexual gratification. This can include pressuring a child into a sexual activity, indecent exposure of genitals to a child, displaying pornography to a child, sexual contact with a child, physical contact to the child’s genitals, viewing of the child’s genitals, and producing pornography of a child.

Albus wiped a tear from his eye. Did kissing count as sexual contact? Did it even matter? A month ago, if Delphi had asked, Albus probably would have done everything on that list for her. If grooming was only the process of enabling abuse, had Delphi groomed him?

“Hey Albus,” he jumped when his mother walked in without knocking, and turned to face her, “what’s—?”

Albus slammed his laptop shut before she could finish asking her questions.

“Why were you looking at the definition of sexual assault?” She asked.

“I wasn’t,” Albus answered, scratching his neck.

“What were you looking at then?”

“Nothing.”

His mother gave him a look before walking towards him. “Did something happen that I should know about?”

“No,” Albus tried to smile. “Mum, I’m fine. What did you want?”

She let out a breath through her nose. “Lily and James have both had their showers. I wanted to check if you had had yours?”

“No, I’ll go do that.”

“Albus—“

“Thanks for letting me know,” Albus grabbed his clothes and hurried towards the bathroom. He didn’t think he was in the mental state to explain everything about Delphi to his mother.

[shion-yu]

Day 23: Under a Spell

It's been a long minute, but finally adding an installment to Shu and Julian’s Sick Love AU verse for @sicktember by request. 2,500 words. Please remember this is the ONLY M-rated series I have on my blog, with TWs for severe medical abuse and manipulation by a doctor for his own pleasure! 

Control was something that Julian had always craved. When he was younger it was control over his home situation during his parents’ divorce; later it morphed into needing to be in control over his career and his patients’ lives. Now, it was Shu. 

Julian wanted to know every single working of Shu’s body, like it was something he could map out to complete accuracy. Of course he knew this wasn’t possible, but being a doctor, he got as close as he could to understanding each pathway inside of Shu. He had Shu’s inner workings down to the science of cells and energy. Each time he inoculated Shu with a new virus, he spent hours imagining the science of it all. He wished he could see the literal mechanism of each illness taking hold of his boyfriend. He wanted to be able to watch the invasion of each strain into Shu’s body, see his immune system fail again and again in containing the rapidly multiplying pathogenic load and then causing the physical responses that he loved to watch from the outside, too.

In the beginning it was only basic maladies that Julian could easily find in the lab: flu, RSV, strep, the common cold. Whatever was flooding the ER and infecting half of New York that week, Shu caught it too. Julian knew the workings of all of these, and he enjoyed plotting the course of Shu’s impending illness almost as much as seeing it present itself in reality. But after a while, Julian grew bored. He wanted a challenge that would cause less straightforward pathways and more fascinating puzzles for him to figure out. Most of all, he wanted to see the level of intensity of these illnesses increase. 

Shu’s now much weakened body made certain things possible that hadn’t been before. His immune system was destroyed, meaning Shu was now highly susceptible to less common, opportunistic infections. Legionnaires, mycobacterium strains, and pseudomonas were all potentially intriguing options, but after Shu had had a seizure Julian worried about going too far with one of those. He didn’t want Shu to become a vegetable, or worse die. That wasn’t part of his plan, and the unexpectedness of the seizure had honestly scared him into taking a several weeks long break to let Shu recover.

Now, though, Shu was talking about returning to work. It had only been a month since he’d been feeling better, but the man was frustratingly independent when it came to his career. Julian had barely let Shu leave the house since his seizure, telling Shu he was too delicate to risk it, but he could see Shu had become bored. He talked of getting a work from home job, as if perhaps it were something he could swing even when he wasn’t feeling well. Julian knew that even a remote job would consume Shu’s mind far too much though. Considering this, the fact that Julian felt Shu’s body was finally strong enough to bear another round of illness, and his own desire to once again take care of the person who he yearned to see suffer the most, Julian decided it was high time to bring something new home. 

After much contemplation on what to bring home, Julian settled on streptococcous pneumoniae in the form of aerosolized exposure to pneumococcal pneumonia. He chose to do this via contamination of the humidifier in their bedroom, done directly before he left for a twelve hours shift and before Shu had stirred for the morning. Julian had long ago installed an intense air purifying system that would cycle and clean the air every hour, so between that and vaccination Julian’s own risk would be minimal by the time he returned from work. Pnuemococcal was something Shu had been also vaccinated for, but Julian felt confident that Shu’s weakened immune system wouldn’t be able to handle the bacteria when introduced so directly. The interesting part would be to see how ill Shu became. Julian was hoping for something mild enough that it wouldn’t worry Julian, but severe enough that it would most certainly worry Shu and knock all thoughts of returning to work out of his head. A bout of pneumonia, Julian figured, would be perfect. And if it became too severe, he already knew which specific antibiotic to give Shu to cure him. 

He introduced the bacteria on a Monday morning, and by Tuesday evening Shu was clearly not feeling well. His face was pale and he went to bed early, turning down Julian’s offer to watch a movie. Shortly before midnight he ran a high fever. Julian had been anticipating this eagerly and purposely woke Shu once he knew consciousness would undoubtedly reveal sure signs of illness to Shu even if he was in denial.

“Darling,” he said gently, stroking Shu’s hot cheeks to wake him. Shu moaned and Julian shook his shoulder. “Shu, honey, I think you have a fever.”

As soon as Shu left the bliss of deep sleep, his jaw began to quiver and he was overtaken by a violent bout of chills. His teeth clattered together and he opened his eyes, bleary and his body confused by the pain it was coming into. “J-Julie?” He said weakly. He let out another low groan as he realized he was in the all too familiar and unpleasant state that came with a fever. “Oh, no.”

“I’m afraid you've caught something dreadful again,” Julian said delicately, a convincing look of sympathy on his face. Shu’s whole body shook and Julian pulled him closer, knowing Shu must be freezing. “My poor Shu.”

“How?” Shu whimpered, finding it difficult to talk through his chattering teeth. “I-I haven’t left the house, barely.”

Julian ran his fingers through Shu’s hair, knowing Shu liked the feeling of his cold fingers against his hot and prickly scalp. “I know. Your body is weak though. It can’t fight off even the most minor of germs. I told you you had to be extra careful.”

“I thought I was doing better,” Shu said, teary eyed and defeated as he nestled helplessly into Julian’s embrace. He had one fist clenched against his chest, and Julian knew Shu’s it must be aching. He imagined the thousands of alveoli in Shu’s inflamed lungs rapidly filling with infected pus, causing pain and a struggle to breathe. Shu’s body was releasing floods of cytokines to his brain, his white blood cells in overdrive as they tried to contain the illness by way of cranking up the heat. Each additional tenth of a degree put more and more strain on Shu’s heart and circulation, which in turn caused the rapid heart rate that Julian could feel as he palpated Shu’s radial artery. Each thump felt desperate. For Julian it was exhilarating. It had been too long.

Of course, Julian did not let his true feelings show. It was relatively easy to express the energy of his excitement as what appeared to be worry as he mopped Shu’s brow with a wet cloth and took Shu’s temperature. “I’m so sorry,” he crooned to his ailing partner. “You’ll be just fine. I’m going to take care of you.”

Shu nodded helplessly. What else could he do? Nothing. Just let Julian take care of him, as he had constantly over the past year. He couldn't rely on his own body - only on Julian.

Shu’s temperature was 103, but it peaked at nearly 104 the second night. His chest hurt and he couldn't breathe in without it burning, leaving him to suck in small, panting gasps. His whole body throbbed in pain, and he was too weak to even get to the bathroom by himself. The small amount of confidence he'd gained back during his short period of recovery quickly drained away along with his hopes for a return to work, just as Julian had planned.

Julian was always nearby, patient and gentle just as he had been all the other times. Shu tried to lift a glass of water to his lips and found himself too weak to do so, nearly spilling it on himself before Julian held it up for him and tilted the liquid so that Shu could drink. Shu took a few sips before pushing it away, coughing wetly. Each cough felt like imagined rubber bands slapping against his lungs. 

“It hurts,” he whimpered. He was practically begging for Julian to make it better by the tone of his voice, not that he knew what could be done. 

Julian put the glass of water aside and held him. “Where does it hurt? Tell me,” he said. 

“My chest,” Shu shivered. “My head. Everywhere.”

“I’m so sorry. You're going to feel better soon,” Julian told him. He sounded so tender yet confident. Shu yearned to believe him. Just like Shu believed Julian when Julian told him it was likely viral pneumonia - he could hear it from his chest, Julian said, and there was no need to go in for x-rays or testing yet. “Do you want to try a bath? I’ll carry you, if you want to.”

“No,” Shu whispered miserably. The baths helped sometimes, but couldn't even imagine how icy even lukewarm water would feel right now. Julian had already given him Tylenol, steroids and a nebulizer treatment, but none had helped. He would just have to wait it out and tell himself - practically begging to whatever entity might possibly be listening - that it would be over soon.

Of course to Julian, he knew none of the things he was giving Shu would help. The illness was bacterial, and he planned on quietly introducing penicillin only once he himself determined that Shu’s lungs would have reached their limit for needing treatment. At that point he would give Shu an IV and claim it was fluids for hydration. The Tylenol, oral steroids and nebulizer treatments certainly wouldn't help much in the meantime either - Julian was administering Shu sugar pills and infant doses of the nebulizer treatments. The concentration of medication to saline in the suspensions he emptied into the nebulizer was very much for show; they were strong enough only for Shu to taste there was something going in, regardless of how unhelpful they were in reality. He was sure to give Shu these breathing treatments every four hours on the dot, ever the dutiful caretaker. 

Shu’s cough continued to worsen. It sounded terribly wet, and felt worse. He filled tissues with thick, dark phlegm and practically lost his voice from the strain on his throat. Sometimes these fits were so long that he would vomit, or his lips would turn dusky purple as he struggled to obtain enough oxygen during these terrible spasms. At night Julian sat behind Shu and held him up as he struggled to stay conscious during his breathing treatments. Julian held the mouthpiece for him and uttered words of comfort - that he was so strong, and special to Julian, and it would be okay. Those words were all Shu had to hang on to.

“You need to go to work,” Shu told Julian feebly. He didn’t want to be alone, but Julian had already missed so many days on his account over the past year. “I can call my mom.”

“She doesn’t know how to take care of you like I do,” Julian shot this down immediately. “You need more than soup and tea. I’m not going anywhere.”

True to his word, Julian barely left the bedroom as Shu struggled through his illness. Whenever he woke, he only needed to look around for a few seconds before locating Julian’s omnipresent figure. “Julie,” Shu would call for him weakly. Each time he woke up, he felt so horrible that he wished he hadn’t. “It hurts.”

“I know,” Julian shushed him. “It’s okay. I know.”

He did know. He knew exactly how sick Shu was, how the bacterial infection was moving very quickly and soon, if he didn’t administer the proper antibiotics, Shu would develop sepsis. He knew Shu hated the hospital, and he preferred to take care of Shu here in their home. For the sake of being realistic, though, he told Shu, “I think we need to get you to a hospital,” after a particularly long and painful coughing fit. 

“Please no,” Shu groaned. “Can’t you treat me here? I don’t want to go.”

Julian had to force himself not to smile. It was one of his greatest pleasures when Shu seemed to believe Julian could do anything. “Okay. I’ll try,” he said earnestly. Then he skillfully inserted an IV in Shu’s AC and ran fluids with a piggyback of penicillin. Even though he was underdosing Shu, the difference was rapid. Shu responded to the antibiotics and fluids, his fever dropping to a much more tolerable 101 range by the next morning. 

The cough was still especially painful for Shu though. Julian closed his eyes and listened to the hacking sound, rubbing Shu’s back and letting the vibrations of Shu’s efforts travel down his own arm. Shu was on his hands and knees in bed, gasping for air. “I can't breathe,” he managed to croak, barely understandable as he choked on the words and continued to cough. 

“Let’s try another breathing treatment,” Julian said. “And if it doesn't help, I’ll give you some extra steroids.” This time he set Shu up with an actual adult dose of medication to inhale, and lo and behold, another miracle. Shu lay bonelessly against Julian’s chest afterwards, exhausted and finally able to rest now that he wasn't exerting all of his effort into sucking in oxygen. 

Julian stroked his hair, his fingers tingling as they made contact with Shu’s hot scalp. The fever, although no longer critical, was still more than obvious. He could feel Shu’s hot puffs of breath on his bare shoulder. “You’re doing so well,” Julian crooned to him. “Don't worry about anything.” 

“I’m so tired,” Shu whispered. “What if it's always like this?”

Julian knew Shu didn't just mean this one illness. He meant the entire state of his life: the weakness. The fragile immune system. Being unable to work. It was a nightmare for Shu, whose self pride was so intertwined in his ability to be a productive citizen. But what Shu didn't know was Julian preferred him as he was: helpless and begging for Julian to save him. Julian got off on being the hero for Shu again and again, and he knew he wouldn't ever grow tired of it. He’d give Shu breaks, but it was always going to be like this if Julian had any say in the matter. Julian had never been happier.

“I’ll take care of you,” Julian said confidently. “I promise. You have nothing to worry about.”

Shu hid his face in Julian’s chest. Julian could feel the dampness of tears against his skin. “I’m sorry,” Shu said.

“Don't apologize,” Julian told him. “You’re the only one for me. I love you no matter how you are.”

But especially like this.

[devynshaw]

About // Pinterest // Timeline // Connections

General Info

Name: Devyn Shaw Nickname: Dev, Shaw Age: 28 Gender & Pronouns: Cis Female, She/Her Home: District 3 Role: Tribute for the 75th Hunger Games Personality Traits: Adroit, Observant, Charming, Headstrong, Blunt, Impulsive Song: Church by Aly & AJ

Character Biography

tw: parent death Devyn was born a year before her younger brother, Luke. Their mother stayed home with them and looked after them, making sure that their lives were happy and safe despite the living conditions for the poorer citizens of District Three. Even though their mother was looking out for them, Devyn felt an obligation to look after Luke. She would stand up for him if kids ever picked on him, and even included him when she would hang out with her friends. Despite her lack of height, Devyn was a tough kid. She was more than happy to challenge bullies twice her size to protect Luke or her friends. Of course that got her in some trouble at school on top of tendencies to be listless in some of her classes. It didn’t mean she lacked the intelligence; Devyn was very smart. She was only motivated when something sparked her interest. And when it came to helping Luke with his work, a lot of Devyn’s lessons ran along the lines of “do as I say, not as I do”. Devyn wanted to be just as present in Luke’s life as their mother was, because their father sure as hell wasn’t around. Had she not seen him once or twice when they were younger, Devyn never would have known who her father was. Whenever Luke asked about him, their mother would fumble through an answer, or a false promise that he would come home someday. Devyn, however, knew better than to believe those lies. As far as she was concerned, he was dead to her, especially when she heard their mother crying quietly to herself when she was sure she was alone in their small home. One day when the kids had come home from school, they found their mother collapsed on the floor. An illness she had been dealing with for months finally caught up with her and was killing her. Devyn and Luke tried to get in touch with their father, getting help from family friends and their mother herself. At first Devyn was adamant about not going to her father, but Luke had been the one to convince her to try and contact their dad. They didn’t have anyone else to reach out to. But none of their messages were answered. Devyn took up the mantle of guardian, looking after both Luke and their mother up until the sickness took her and she passed away. Having to watch her mother die and getting no answer despite her reluctance to reach out to her father, Devyn’s burning resentment for their father grew. A friend of their mother’s, a woman named Astrid, took the kids in and watched over them as they grew up. Astrid quickly became a respected parental figure for Devyn and Luke. She ran a repair shop with her husband, Curtis, that the Shaw kids worked in. Astrid was firm yet kind, and she taught the siblings discipline and how to think for themselves. A lot of that stemmed from her distain for The Capitol and The Games, which Devyn already had growing up. Watching people getting called for the slaughter tended to instill fear and anger in people, yet many of them were too scared to rebel. And for good reason; The Capitol was not afraid to show its power over the citizens of District Three. Not to mention The Hunger Games taking place every year to quell any sort of resistance. Devyn hated watching neighbors and friends have their lives destroyed in seeing friends and family going into The Games and never come back home. Devyn’s biggest fear was Luke’s name being drawn for The Games and she wouldn’t be able to protect him. They both thought they had managed to evade it by aging out of the Reaping pool, lived under the ignorant assumption that they would lead quiet lives in District Three. But then, Snow changed the rules of the Quarter Quell and Devyn Shaw was named one of the Tributes for the 75th Hunger Games. The only solace she had was that Luke’s name had not been called, but she was still going into The Games. While she did have fight in her, Devyn carried the weight of the sinking dread that there was a very good chance she was not going to make it back home. But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t try. She had to, for Luke.

[emcant]

Really sick reason to be happy but I can't stop smiling

TW/CW child abuse, mental illness, SH

One of my aunts calls our family "yours, mine, and ours", which is accurate. We've got me, my (step)brother, my dad, my stepmom, and my (half)sister. My brother is seven weeks younger than I am. Our parents got together when we were around four- "work spouses" who were both recently divorced- and our little sister came a few years later.

My bio mom and my brother's bio dad are a mess, somewhere between incapable and unwilling to parent full time. I've been in therapy off and on for most of my life and got my C-PTSD diagnosis at 15. My brother, god love him, just reached his first year of sobriety, having started drinking around the same age.

Naturally, every time we had a chance to say "This isn't normal" to our shared folks, we'd be told "Well of course you'd think that, you're used to your other parent!". The other person was a shovel used for digs: "This isn't their house!". They'd call me by my mom's name when I made them upset.

I assumed I was broken either because of my mom or because of the split. I can't know for certain, of course, but I think the cause of the C-PTSD was specifically that they traded custody daily, at my mom's request, until she moved out of state. She gives the silent treatment. My stepmom screams. The rules changed on me literally every 24 hours until I was 13.

Life evened out a lot when she did move away - but not entirely. I wound up in screamland 90% of the time rather than 50. I couldn't figure out why it didn't feel right or why it kept happening to me, but I believed my folks: I wasn't used to it because my mom's "parenting" is different and worse. I felt sickened to be involved with my mom at all. I thought that if only she wasn't waiting in the wings, I'd be entitled to a normal childhood, but because of her influence, I deserved everything I got.

Anyway, I have been texting my little sister about Christmas gifts for our brother, and out of nowhere, earlier this week, she tells me she's going to therapy for the first time... because she's realized it's not normal for your mom to scream at you literally all day and your dad to not intervene.

I haven't been home for more than three days since I moved out over a decade ago. I had a chance to pass through the town earlier this year, didn't do it, and still had panic attacks for two weeks straight. I can't hack it as someone's daughter; it makes me physically sick.

But that isn't a me problem.

Not a one of them could hack it as parents.

I've stopped hearing my mother's doubts in my head - I cut her off when I moved away. I've never been quite able to shut off my stepmom's. The screamer versus the silence... it fits.

I'm not a poser if I can't create when I don't have a comfortable space to work. I should not self-reject because I'm frightened. In the absence of an abuser, I'm finding that holding ideas in also hurts a lot.

I'm not stupid or useless or gearing up to be a failure for needing the introvert rest period and knowing my limits. It will not hold me back in life.

It isn't normal to want to hurt yourself. It isn't normal for people to laugh it off and talk about themselves when you tell them you want to hurt yourself.

The mandatory insincerity I grew up around has thankfully faded a lot - I don't think I could summarize that anymore if I tried.

I'm heartbroken that my little sister is going to need to learn these things - but ecstatic that she will, and is actively moving towards it. Had a similar conversation with our brother a few years ago, but of course, he has his dad in the wings; it hits differently now knowing that it would have happened no matter what. Children in that home are screamed at, hit, and not defended. Simple as.

I'm not what they wanted me to be.

I'd say that's "fine" but that doesn't even begin to cover it. It's exemplary.

[traumaqueenie]

Welp. I’ve been playing some Red Dead Redemption II these last few days, and of course I ended up thinking about Maddy in that setting! So, here’s soft of a BG for Maddy in the RDR verse

TW: child abuse, SA, misogyny, dead parents

It sort of follows the same BG as seen in her main verse. However, her grandparents on her father's side are no longer alive. Her father's side of the family is still filthy rich, having made a fortune owning slaves back then. After Ben was disowned by his family for marrying well below his social standing all the money went to Isaak and he took over the family's old estate. When Maddy is born her mother dies shortly after from complications, leaving Ben alone with his infant daughter. 

Time goes by and when Maddy turns 7 her father gets the consumption and ends up passing away. Maddy is now alone that is until her estranged uncle so 'graciously' agrees to take her in. Living with him is hell and she hates every moment of it. During her younger years, she's supposed to be seen and not heard, garnering admiration from people around him who praise him for his 'grand gesture' and 'good heart'. 

Behind the closed doors, she's mistreated and beaten often as Isaak sees too much of his hated brother in her. As she grows into a young woman he becomes inappropriate with her, and the abuse worsens until one day when she manages to escape. He kept her locked in the house, again using her as a means for his own sick fantasies and showing off how proper of a young lady she's become under his care. Maddy manages to steal some money from Isaak and run away from the abuse. 

She flees as far away as possible, looking to start a new life where no one knows who she is and where her uncle can't find her. She tries looking for work to keep herself sustained, and an old physician ends up taking her in. he's like a grandfather to her, kind, patient, and understanding and adores the young woman. He teaches her what he knows and urges her to become a physician herself.

Maddy does end up applying to several colleges, but no one wants to take her in. She's a woman after all! However, she's determined to succeed. She changes her tactics and applies to smaller less prestigious colleges in hopes of getting into one. It pays off! A single acceptance letter arrives. She goes to New York to study, and while studying medicine she's scrutinized for being a woman, but her determination and drive change the mind of many of her peers. 

She manages to get her degree and moves away, always keeping in contact with the kind old physician. She sends him money and writes to him pretty much daily. He's the closest to a farther-figure in her life, besides her own dad. Maddy ends up starting her own small practice that aims to help poor women and children, who otherwise wouldn't be able to afford medical help. This also means prostitutes and the likes. Women who have suffered by the hands of men, and who have nowhere else to turn to for help.

[mochafoams]

SCHOOL VENTING!!

Tw: venting, mentions of being/feeling trapped, naive writer, rejecting ones feelings, rejecting their own feelings, deep talk of hating school, mention of getting someone sick on purpose, cussing.

Written with microphone, so many grammar mistakes. Crappy mic..

Why do I hate school? That's a question that I ask myself, and I can never figure out why. I just have a feeling, a dreadful feeling every time when I walk into the building. I feel trapped because I am. People say that it's just a certain amount of days to stay there but it feels like an eternity. It's usually, like, 36 hours staying there for a whole week.

And I try to downplay it like everyone else does but it doesn't sit right with me because I don't want to be there. Teachers say "if you don't want to be here go home," but the government won't let our parents keep us there and our parents won't let us stay here. Of course it's difficult for parents or teachers to understand how kids really don't want to be at school and that their minds feel like they're trapped, even though they say, "oh yeah I used to go to school when I was younger," but this now the present.

You guys can't get mad at me when I feel like I do enough at school. Yeah all I do is homework and the school work that they give me, but that's what I'm going there for. I'm not going there for like an after-school program, I'm not going there to talk to a counselor for no reason, and I'm definitely not going there for no reason in general!

And I almost- I almost come home everyday with f****** math homework so I am doing enough! It's not like I don't have classwork to do, I always get my work done quickly because I don't want to have to sit at home and drag school into my home life. I don't care if you say homework is for home I'll do it whenever I get the chance. I will take my lunch break away from myself and do homework then because I will not bring it to the only place I have a little bit of comfort in.

And I try my best in school. I'm being serious I get- I have credit roll and I'm going for Honor Roll. I'm trying even though I hate school so much but I am trying to be the best student there possibly is! Well I wouldn't say that I want to go that far but I'm trying my best and you guys always just deny my feelings whenever I say something negative about school. My whole mood will change when you just say, "you have your stuff ready for school tomorrow?" Or, "remember you have school tomorrow?" I will never be the same after you say those words or something related to school it just messes me up that bad.

I don't get bullied or anything in school it's just a school air that brings negative energy to me. Just going to bed and knowing that I have to wake up at 7:40 a.m. in the morning to get up and go to school before 8:30 or 8:45 just puts me in a bad mood. And I know people have to wake up earlier for school or work and 7:40 doesn't sound that bad, and I really don't care about what time I need to get up and leave.

But if I try to get myself sick so I don't have to go to school, you should know how much I hate it.

[laurie-vexen]

First Hunt || Flashback

Date: January 25th 2009

Location: Kraysha

Notes: On her thirteenth birthday, Laurie’s parents take her out hunting for the first time. (TW: Blood, violence)

Laurie could not express enough how much she didn’t want to do this. She’d been dreading this day her entire life so far - but it was Umbra tradition for a fledgling’s first hunt to be on their thirteen birthday. Her parents, on the other hand, were quite excited for this event. Her father was more expressive about how excited he was, as it was hard to read her mother’s neutral face, but her way of expressing excitement had been taking the entire week planning out exactly how the hunt would go. Since Laurie would be new at this, they had to be careful with the prey they took and how they would approach them. Anything could go wrong.

“Ready to go, mus umbrusti [my little shadow]?” Her father asked as Laurie and her mother approached the front door to leave.

Laurie wanted to scream. It was already bad enough she had to be stuck in school every single day for hours on end with classmates that literally smelled good to eat when she didn’t want to eat them, but now she was about to actively participate in feeding on Erkuss? This was so messed up. But what was she supposed to do? She was bound to her parents, and it wasn’t like she had any friends to seek refuge with. That was an intentional choice - it felt wrong, to be friends with people she could potentially hurt. It didn’t feel normal to think about feeding on your friends.

“Yeah...” Laurie’s tone made it very clear she was not ready to go.

Her father, Cid, caught on. In a rare moment of affection, he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. The assumption was that Laurie was nervous, not necessarily that she had no interest in feeding. 

“There’s no need to worry. Your mother and I will be with you to make sure nothing bad happens.” A joke, since a bad thing would inevitably happen in the form of her drinking a living person’s blood. He gave her a pat on the shoulder. “Now come on, let’s show them how Vexens do it.”

-----------------------------------------------

As it turned out, Laurie was incapable of showing how Vexens did it. The designated target was an older teen Erkuss out late with his friends, smoking and drinking at a nearby local park. He had been picked since Laurie would have a better chance preying on a younger, smaller figure than a fully grown Erkuss adult. But when Laurie had snuck behind him to knock him unconscious, she held back too much of her strength out of fear of accidentally killing him and instead simply gave him the equivalent of a hard slap to the back of the head. 

The teen turned around with a “what the fuck!” and when he saw it was Laurie, he angrily pushed her to the ground. But her parents hadn’t reacted right away, wanting to give Laurie a chance to fix her mistake. Her survival instincts kicked in when the teen grabbed her by the shirt and yanked her up. Laurie, panicked, swiped her hand against the teen’s ribs, and a sickening crack rang in her ears. The scream that left the teen’s lips were what made Laurie’s parents act quickly, as Laurie’s mom appeared and quickly knocked the teen out.

“You’re supposed to take them out swiftly before they can alert others,” Serai hissed. She held up the limp body with one hand, scowling. In the distance, the teens friends seemed to be calling out his name and asking if he was alright. “Come. Now we must take him somewhere else to feed before his friends find us.”

-----------------------------------------------

“Don’t be so harsh on her, Ser. It’s her first time hunting,” Cid scolded his wife. 

Serai dropped the teen’s body onto the ground of the dark alleyway they quickly found and gave her husband a piercing glare. “She knows how this is supposed to go. We can’t leave any potential witnesses. She’s lucky it was dark in that park, otherwise we would have to kill this boy altogether.”

Laurie was sick to her stomach just thinking about that.

“Alright, we get it. I think she’s learned her lesson. Right, Laurie?” Cid asked.

Laurie only nodded silently.

“Let’s just feed and leave,” Serai coolly instructed. She rolled up the teen’s sleeve and held up his arm to Laurie. “Here. Happy birthday.” This was her most un-enthusiastic “happy birthday” to date.

Laurie looked at her mother, then her father. She didn’t want to. At least when her parents brought blood home to give her, she could drink out of a cup and just pretend they didn’t go through all this to get it for her. But now here she was, drinking from a real life person for the first time. It was wrong. So wrong.

“Laurie!” Serai snapped. She was impatient with Laurie’s hesitation. “Feed. Now.*

Laurie escaped her thoughts and reluctantly walked over to her mother. She knelt down and grabbed the teen’s hand. Pausing for a moment, she finally bit into his wrist and drank.

Wrong. So wrong. But she hated how right it felt in this moment. How good the blood tasted. For those few seconds she forgot how awful this all was. But once those seconds were up, she forced herself to pull away and wipe her mouth of blood that trickled down her chin.

How was she expected to do this for the rest of her life?

[yannowhatigiveup]

T.W.A.A: The Eccedentesiast

This is a one shot I started last night and I finished it at around 2 am because I’m an insomniac. Sadly this isn’t the 10k+ word one shot I was talking about (I’m still writing it aaa) but this one is around 4-5k words long so I hope you enjoy. This is rushed, badly written, badly plotted and badly named.

TW: Dark topics such as sexual assault and suicide is mentioned in this piece of writing.

Paris, the City of Love, what a big misconception that was. If anything, Paris should've been labeled as the City of Misery considering the fact it was haunted by a villain who preyed on negative emotions. No one outside of Paris knew though, they were oblivious to the fact hundreds, thousands even millions had died in the city home to the Eiffel Tower, only to be resurrected and tormented with the memories of their death. It was worse for Marinette though, she had watched all the citizens, her beloved citizens, die before her eyes and she was powerless to help them. Their screams of anguish and cries of pain forever ghosted her nightmares. It wasn't just their blood that she drowned in, she was bullied, abused and betrayed in her civilian form by those she trusted the most.

Her classmates. She thought she could trust them but they left her for someone shinier and newer. They all hurt her, destroyed her hard work, verbally and physically bullied her. Nino and Kim, her childhood friends had turned their backs on her too, even joining the others in causing her physical and emotional pain. Alya, her best friend, had become her main abuser. The reporter stabbed the poor bluenette in the back, figuratively. Lila was the one who did it literally. Lila, the sound of the name itself made Marinette sick, after all, the brunette was the one who did this to her. She made her friends turn their backs on her, she made them abuse her and she only watched with fake crocodile tears and a smug smile when no one was looking. And Adrien, he was the worst of all. When Marinette was younger, Adrien was the embodiment of perfection. But now? All she could see was a spineless coward and a predator.

As Chat Noir, he wouldn't participate in the battles, only flirting with her hero persona. He would whine like a toddler when she rejected his advancements. Even when he did join in the battles, he was useless, ignoring anything that Ladybug would tell him and go straight for the kill which never worked. Chat Noir was incompetent and a sexual harasser. As Adrien, however, he was much more. Just two days ago, he had tried to sexually assault the young bluenette. The blonde had underestimated the girl and she managed to get away but nothing could erase her memory of the event.

The ultimatum Lila had delivered to Marinette when she thirteen seemed over-dramatic and seemingly impossible at the time. Yet three years later, she was at the point of no return. Her classmates, her friends, her teachers, the boy she once loved, her partner, her parents. They all left her. Mayor Bourgeois, fearing for his daughter's safety, had sent Chloe to New York with her mother. Luka was on tour with his father so they could build a better relationship. Kagami had a family affair back in Japan that would last for at least a month. She was truly alone. Her parents had fallen victim to Lila's lies and Marinette overheard them discussing about kicking her out. The only one by her side throughout the whole ordeal was Tikki, her beloved kwami. Even Master Fu had to leave her.

Marinette felt shut out by the rest of the world. Sure, Paris adored Ladybug but it felt different. She was fighting battles alone, she stood as the last survivor, the last protector of Paris. She took that title in stride, or that's what the Parisians thought. In reality, she was hiding behind a mask.

The bluenette had suffered endlessly for years, she was ready to break that cycle of torture. Yesterday, she came to the solid conclusion of who Hawkmoth was, who is accomplices were and what his motive was. Gabriel Agreste was the man behind Paris' torment, Nathalie Sancœr was one of his accomplices and so was Lila Rossi. For his motive, he wanted to bring his wife back. Marinette understood the pain he was in but she wouldn't go to such extreme lengths as he did. Many years ago, Marinette made a friend, one of her very best friends who she fell for. But she never told anyone who he was, where he came from or even the fact that she met someone. The reason behind this was the fact she witnessed his murder. That death, of all she witnessed, was the most heartbreaking. Even when all these years have passed, she never truly got over his death. His green eyes always lingered her mind.

The bluenette let out an anguished sigh, she was on the Eiffel Tower, admiring the city's skyline despite all its obvious flaws under close inspection. Though Marinette had drastically mentally changed, she would always put on the same mask, she would always portray herself as a regular school girl. This was the one time she felt a little peace in her chaotic excuse for a life. Her blue eyes stared off into the distance, focusing on nothing in particular when she heard footsteps coming from behind. In her peripheral vision, Marinette could see the figure of Gabriel Agreste slowly approaching. Not wanting anything to happen, she made her knowledge of her appearance known.

"I never expected to see you somewhere so public, Monsieur Agreste" Her voice remained neutral. Gabriel didn't flinch meaning that he had expected her to sense his arrival, it made the young girl slightly unnerved but she refused to show it.

"The Eiffel Tower holds the greatest inspiration, as a designer yourself I'm sure you are aware" Marinette was used to his cold voice by now, she kept her guard up reminding herself that this was Hawkmoth was standing a few feet away.

She hummed, putting the two miraculous users in a deathly silence, until she decided to break it. "You know, you could've just asked" The older man raised an eyebrow in confusion but Marinette never looked in his direction, "It would've saved a lot of bloodshed"

Gabriel managed to catch up with what she was saying. "Are you implying that I am Hawkmoth?" He didn't sound offended or defensive, merely curious.

"I'm not implying anything" She replied curtly, then turning to face him. "I am merely stating a fact"

The miraculous user turned away from her, focusing his gaze on the city's skyline once more. "What are you going to do with this knowledge?"

The question confused Marinette, surely he would've attacked her or try to get her to remain silent?

He must've noticed her confusion. "Even if you wanted to, you wouldn't say anything"

Marinette turned her full body towards the taller man, she was going to end Hawkmoth's reign as quickly as she could. "I can heal her"

"What?"

"I can heal her" The bluenette repeated. "Emilie"

Gabriel also turned to face her, his usual cold scowl was replaced with a staggered expression. "Y-you can? Even after all I've done as Hawkmoth?"

Her head twisted back to portrait that was Paris. "To end it all, yes I will"

"Then please, follow me and I promise I will give you my miraculous as well as Mayura's. Just, heal my wife please" His tone changed from intrigued to pleading, Marinette could see that he meant every word.

"Oh don't worry... I will"

~~~

"I did it!" Tim's voice echoed in the Batcave.

"Did what replacement?"

"I found Hawkmoth's identity!"

Around three months ago, Wonder Woman had noticed Green Lantern trying to delete a video. She stopped him before he successfully did the task and watched the video herself, calling a meeting to express her anger about the situation. Most were shaken since they had never seen the Amazonian this livid before. She briefly explained how her mother was once a miraculous user and how powerful these magical jewelry could be. Aqua Man also shared his concerns, revealing that the fall of Atlantis was due to the miraculous. They knew the logical decision was to work on this from outside of Paris, the villain preyed on negative emotions and they had been ignoring the Parisians' calls for help for four years. Their sudden appearance would definitely trigger the heroes. So in the last month, they had gathered files of nearly every person in Paris as well as all the necessary information about every akuma attack. It was tiring for the Bats but they trudged through it anyway.

Damian had taken a special interest in the spotted-heroine specifically, without the knowledge of any of his family members. She appeared similar to a female friend he had made quite some time ago, the one who had witnessed an assassination attempt on him. He saddened him to no end knowing that the friend he loved thought he was dead. The green-eyed boy became one hundred percent convinced that this hero was his friend.

One day, Dick had caught him in the Batcave observing a recently taken image of the Ladybug heroine. His older brother thought that Damian was crushing on the lady and began to tease him as others entered the cave.

"Tt, that's not true" the green-eyed boy retaliated.

"If you don't have a crush on Ladybug then why are you staring at an image of her?" Dick added more information necessary so that his younger brothers could join in on teasing his youngest brother.

The Robin vigilante sighed and brought everyone's attention to the screen. "See that?"

"All I see is this little lady Demon Spawn" Jason's smirk was quickly gone when he noticed Damian's serious expression.

"She's alone" he stated simply and before anyone could get a word in, her explained further. "There is usually a team with her"

Everyone seemed to lean closer to the screen.

"She's fighting alone. Her 'partner' doesn't participate in the battles anymore, he stays on the sidelines, observing" He let the others catch up to what he was saying. "The attacks have been lasting a lot longer than usual, Ladybug leads a super hero team correct? Then why is she fighting alone this time."

"They could have all been killed... We have to go to Paris to help the poor girl" Dick turned to Bruce. "Who knows how much longer she'll last alone fighting a psycho butterfly man!"

Bruce's fatherly instincts were screaming at him from merely looking at the photo. "I'll announce to the League that we'll be joining the fight in Paris"

~~~

Gabriel lead Marinette to his office, Nathalie wearily watching. Just as he was about to open the double doors, his assistant collapsed in uncontrollable coughing. Marinette was much faster than the older man so she got to the woman first. The bluenette carefully put Nathalie down on one of the chairs available while putting her hand on where she thought the assistant would where the peacock brooch. The blue-eyed girl could sense the broken miraculous' energy trapped in the woman so she did the only reasonable thing she could at that moment, she extracted the corrupted magic, healing Nathalie almost instantly. Marinette ignored Gabriel's relieved expression and gestured for him to lead her to Emilie.

"When this is over, I wish to have a restraining order against your son"

"May I ask why?"

"..."

"...I understand, I'll make sure to tell Nathalie"

The older man stopped before a painting of his wife, his fingers reached for the painted shapes and pressed on them, revealing an elevator to which he went down in. Following his motion, Marinette placed her hand on the painting and allowed herself to descend down the mansion. It lead her to a repository with a catwalk which lead to a circular platform covered in luscious greenery. In the middle on the platform was a class-covered cryogenic pod which the sleeping body of Emilie Agreste lay. The bluenette carefully made her way to the glass casket, placing her hand on the transparent material when she finally reached her destination. Focusing all her energy, a red light erupted from her finger tips and it soaked into Emilie's skin. Gabriel opened the pod, carefully watching his wife as Marinette took a step back. Suddenly her eyes fluttered open.

"G-Gabriel, what happened?"

The man didn't reply, he simply hugged the woman of his dreams before turning the the young girl.

"I... Thank you Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng, I can give you the miraculous now if-"

"Ladybug will be at the Eiffel Tower soon, I suggest you give the miraculous to her then"

Gabriel nodded and thanked the girl once more as she left. Before she reached the lift that would lead her back up to Gabriel's office, Marinette turned to face the newly reunited couple.

"Enjoy the happiness in your life, Monsieur Agreste, you never know when it may end"

She then turned to leave, not wanting to here what her former idol had to say. When she reached the main floor of the Agreste Mansion, Marinette was greeted by Nathalie. The bluenette acknowledged the assistant with a nod, meaning that Emilie was awake. The assistant let out a sigh of relief and rushed to Adrien's room, not wanting to be around the blonde boy, Marinette promptly left. Once out of the premises of the mansion, she transformed and waited for Gabriel to return the miraculous. What she didn't realise was that the Justice League would also be coming to pay her a visit.

It felt like an eternity, waiting for the miraculous to be handed back to her but the bluenette was patient. She waited four years for this moment, but she had to share the moment alone. It was bittersweet. Soon enough Gabriel arivied, hastily giving Ladybug both the brooches with apologetic eyes and leaving without a word. The spotted heroine presumed that he wanted to get back to his wife and son, she couldn't blame him. Ladybug reached for her yo-yo teary-eyed, she was going to put both miraculous in her weapon before returning them in the miracle box but she stopped when she heard multiple figures approaching where she was standing.

~~~

Batman and his sons were the ones to go to Paris and alert Ladybug of their findings. The five men found themselves in front of the Eiffel Tower, Tim found out that was were the heroes would return to after their patrol.

"We must tell Ladybug right away" Batman pulled out his grappling hook and flung himself to one of the higher levels, all but Robin followed suit.

The vigilante had a feeling to remain on a lower level. He wanted to be reunited with his long lost friend but he couldn't find the words. Simply, he used his grappling hook to bring him onto one of the beams, low enough so he couldn't be seen but high enough to hear any conversation.

"Greetings, Ladybug" His father's voice echoed through the quiet building.

"Monsieur Batman? Wh-what are you doing here?" Her voice sounded almost exactly as he remembered, of course it sounded deeper and more matured but it had a more desolated edge to it.

~~~

"We apologize for not intervening earlier but we didn't know how well we needed to control our emotions" Red Hood watched as Nightwing brushed a hand through his hair nervously.

"But we can help now!" Red Robin's excited voice came out of nowhere, Ladybug looked at the vigilante in surprise. "We found out Hawkmoth's identity so we can finish this once and-"

Ladybug put a single hand up, a small smile on her face, silencing Red Robin's rambling. "That's very considerate of you, all of you" Her gaze landed on each vigilante one at a time. "But I... have things sorted" She pulled out two brooches from behind her back to show the men before putting the miraculous in her yo-yo. "I appreciate all you've done, truly I do. But can I ask one for one more favor?"

"Of course, what is it?" Nightwing asked, clearly wanting the spotted heroine to be gleeful once more.

"Could you... help the other heroes to help the Parisians to heal?"

"It's the least we can do" Batman replied. "Will you be there too?"

"I'm afraid not" Ladybug turned around and leaned forward on the banister. "You know how Hawkmoth prays on negative emotions, so I've had to deal with my emotions in an unhealthy manor but now... Hawkmoth is no more. I can be free"

"Wh-"

"Thank you, truly" Ladybug jumped up on to railing, facing the group of vigilantes. Her sad smile faded as she stared at the floor.

They didn't even get a chance to process what was happening before it did. A bright light surrounded the young hero and they were forced to close their eyes. As the light died down, Red Hood saw a small bluenette. She looked so weak, so pretty, so... fragile. It hurt the vigilante's heart seeing someone like this being the sole protector of Paris with no one by her side.

"Hey little lady-"

"I'm sorry Tikki"

The girl looked at all the vigilantes slowly, mouthing a 'thank you' before letting herself lean backwards.

Gravity took the Parisian heroine and she fell.

A small creature holding something shiny stared in horror as its owner fell."MARINETTE!" The small creature's anguished scream seemed to bring the vigilantes back to reality.

~~~

"MARINETTE!"

Robin's head shot up, that name was all too familiar. Suddenly, he took note of a figure falling fast from above, her raven hair flowing in the wind. Without giving a second thought, he bounded down the ledge he was on, landing on one of the platforms and had his arms out ready to catch the fallen angel. The bluenette was close enough for Robin to grab her and he pulled her in so that her feet landed on the platform, her body still looming over the edge of the building. His brother and father landed not far from him, bounding over to help the bluenette but Robin took no notice of their presence.

"Why didn't you just let me f...all" The girl's voice trailed off as her eyes widened in recognition, the air in her lungs escaped from her lips. "...d-Damian?"

The two friends took no notice at how the vigilantes behind Robin stiffened. Her eyes developed a watery sheen as the situation began to really hit her. Tears threatened to spill as her lip quivered. Robin pulled her away from the ledge and she jumped into his arms, she was heavily touch-starved. Much to his family's surprise, he didn't push her away. In fact, he hugged her back. They heard what she said next.

"I... I thought you were dead, Dami"

"...why? What made you do this, Malaki?"

They didn't hear what she said next as her mumbling was muffled in Robin's chest. Nightwing walked up to the two first, kneeling down to be eye level with the girl.

"Hey Sunshine... we don't know what you've been through but we're willing to help you though it okay?" The girl looked at his sincere gaze, her eyes were so round with innocence, Nightwing thought he would melt.

"I... thank you, I'm sorry for worrying you when I... jumped" No one failed to notice when Robin ran his fingers through the bluenette's hair.

"Don't apologize Little Lady" Red Hood walked over to where Nightwing was kneeling, sitting next to his older brother. "Hawkbitch forced you to bottle up your emotions, you were just strong for too long."

Marinette looked between the two men, a grateful smile on her face while she wiped the tears of pure happiness running down her cheeks. "Thank you, I- this... this is the nicest I've been treated recently"

"If you don't mind me asking," Batman walked over and Marinette felt slightly intimidated you his presence as well as his tone. The dark knight must have noticed this since he cleared his throat and began talking in a softer manner. "What happened to cause you to go to such extremes? You're obligated to not having to talk about it right away if the subject makes you uncomfortable"

"Well I guess I do have to talk about it eventually..."

Recognising the bluenette's discomfort, Red Robin stepped in. In his palm was the shaken kwami who flew straight for Marinette once the vigilante got close enough. "Since you know Robin's identity, and we already sorta know yours, it's only fair if we tell you who we are, right?" He looked at his two older brothers and then at his adoptive father. "My name's Tim Drake nice to meet you"

Marinette was about to take his offered hand when the vigilante she presumed was Red Hood took it instead, "Jason Todd, Robin's most charming and handsome brother" She giggled at Damian's obvious annoyance.

"Well I'm Richard Grayson, Robin's favourite brother, but you can call me Dick" The vigilante in the suit who comforted her first, introduced himself.

"It's nice to meet all of you"

Batman soon came over as well to aquatint with the young heroine, offering out his hand for a handshake. "Bruce Wayne"

She returned the hand shake and brightly smiled, it blinded nearly all those near. "Thank you, Mr Wayne. Wait..." she turned to face Damian, one of her eyebrows raised. "Wayne?"

"I may have failed to mention that part" To Robin's surprise, Marinette started giggling so he huffed in taken offense.

"Sorry it's just- a girl in my class as been boasting about dating you and about the Wayne Family seeing her as their 'honorary member'. I knew she was lying I just didn't know that I would bump into the people she was lying about"

Bruce hummed. "We'll have to do something about this girl you're talking about. In the meantime, why don't you come back to the hotel with us? You and Damian can catch up" The older man saw the hesitation in her eyes but he also saw the willingness that shine through the most. "If you're living in a bad environment then you do have to escape" His sons nodded along.

"I'll come, can I bring some overnight clothes? It's been a long day..."

"Of course, you go get your belongings and you can meet us at the Grand Paris Hotel"

"I... thank you again" She transformed and headed in the direction of her house, leaving Robin at the mercy of his brothers.

"You like her, Brat" Red Robin spoke up first.

Nightwing pretended to wipe his tears. "Baby Bird's all grown up now"

"That means you can't adopt the little Pixie, don't think I haven't seen the adoption papers"

~~~

When Marinette destransformed on her balcony rooftop, she quickly went inside, packed some clothes as well as some essentials. When she was satisfied with her belongings, she gave a macaron to Tikki before heading downstairs where she was met with two disappointed looking parents.

"Is something wrong?"

"We've decided," Tom began. "We're kicking you out for what you've done to your lovely classmate, Lila"

"We don't recognise the person you've become, Marinette. You are not the daughter we raised" Sabine added

"May I pack my things in the morning?" Marinette inquired, her eyes void of emotion. When her parents nodded, she left the bakery and down to the hotel where Damian was waiting in the lobby. As she approached, he took her bag and intertwined their hands together. She blushed at the contact but leaned into his embrace.

When she entered the hotel room she was greeted by the vigilantes who were now changed and unmasked. The bluenette was welcomed with open arms, she felt the warmth in her heart for the first time since Lila's Tyranny. She briefly explained Lila's lies, what she had done to Marinette and how the bluenette was able to protect Paris. She would've carried on longer if it weren't for the hotel phone ringing. It was the receptionist, saying that someone had asked to see Marinette. Confused, she went down with Damian, Jason followed closely behind since he had grown quite attached to the little fairy. Waiting at the front desk as a woman, Damian and Jason recognised her instantly as Mayura. Damian tried to step in front of his friend but she completely ignored their futile attempts to keep her in reach.

"Ah, Hello Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng"

"Hello Nathalie, we're you the one who asked for me?"

"Yes, I just need to clarify a few things"

"Go ahead"

"You're request for the restraining order has been fulfilled" the bluenette nodded, waiting for Gabriel's assistant to continue. "May I ask what did he do to make you request for it?"

The two notices how Marinette stiffened. She contemplated before sighing. "Attempted sexual assault. If you look at the camera footage outside of the Louvre from two days ago, seven pm onwards, you'll see your evidence." Marinette turned away from Nathalie and walked back to Damian who, once in range, pulled her in for a hug.

"I'll never let him near you again, Angel"

~~~

The next day, Bruce had shown up with Marinette at her parents' bakery. Upon hearing about the young bluenette being kicked out, he had asked for her permission for him to be her Guardian until she was old enough to live in her own. Marinette accepted his offer. When they had entered the building, her parents had greeted their customers kindly before recognising Marinette. Bruce turned to the young girl next to him and smiled.

"You go pack your things I'll deal with this" She smiled and bounded upstairs, leaving Bruce to talk with the bakery's owners.

"Hello Sir, how may we help you?" Sabine began, wanting to know who this man was.

"I've come to gain guardianship of your daughter, Marinette Dupain-Cheng"

"Why should we give you guardianship?" Tom asked.

"I'm sure you know the liability for child neglect, Mr Dupain" With his words, both adults seemed to turn white. "I will file the necessary and submit it with the court, I'm sure you'll be willing to give your approval"

Both Marinette and the mystery man left, true they were glad that their mistake of a daughter had gone but they wondered who she had gone with.

~~~

Later that afternoon was a charity event which the Waynes were supposed to attend as they were invited by the mayor himself, the plus side was that the Akuma class would also be attending and they had no clue the Wayne Family would be there.

"...And finally I'd like to thank the Wayne Family for joining us this evening" Mayor Bourgeois finished his speech and all heads turned to the table the Waynes and Marinette were sitting on. As his speech was over, a teenage girl with glass and a very pale brunette came over to the table.

"Hello Mr Wayne, My name's Alya and I'm your honorary daughter's best friend and I was hoping-"

"Marinette" Bruce began, cutting off the aspiring reporter. The Alya girl only then seemed to notice that the bluenette was sitting at the table. "Is this girl you're friend?"

The bluenette took one hard look at Alya before shaking her head, "No"

"Marislut what th-"

"It would be appreciated if you did not talk about my honorary daughter and future daughter-in-law on that manner" Both Damian and Marinette turned red, one much more than the other. "In fact we should be leaving" Bruce and the rest of the family got up. "Miss Rossi, I will not tolerate your lies. You will receive a lawsuit for defamation and slander. Have a good evening" They left, leaving a reporter, a liar and a class speechless.

When they reached the hotel room they finished packing up, they would be leaving that night. Marinette made a few phone calls, telling her friends that she would be moving to Gotham. They had their belongs taken to the limo downstairs and had a few snacks before making their way down. In the lobby were many different people around the bluenette's age, she recognised them as her classmates and continued walking beside Damian until Alex came over.

"Marinette... we're sorry. We understand that you probably won't forgive apps but we wrote you letters anyway" the skater girl gave Marinette a pile of enveloped letters, ones she put in her bag straight away.

"Thank you for your apologies but I don't think I can forgive you just yet, goodbye Alix" the bluenette got in the limo and let out a breath she knew she was holding.

Her eyes glanced out the tinted window, she smiled knowing that she was leaving Paris for a better life. A better life with a friends, a better life with a new family. A better life with Damian.

~Bonus~

The harsh blizzard outside was definitely being felt from inside the manor, leaving a cold and tired Marinette on the couch. Damian, noticing his girlfriend's state, went to grab a blanket to cover both Marinette and himself. She snuggled into the green-eyed boy, taking all the warmth she could get, and slowly she drifted off to sleep. Damian too felt drowsy so soon followed his girlfriend into dreamland.

Jason came in a few moments later to find the sleeping couple, he was then reminded by how tired he was so he went on the couch and leaned his back against his youngest brother, himself too falling victim to slumber.

The next person to walk in was Dick, he had just finished training so he was exhausted. But he couldn't help to coo when he came across the scene in front of him. The eldest son then got on the sofa and carefully leaned against Marinette, similar to what Jason had done with Damian. It didn't take long for him to join them in dozing off.

Tim arrived with a big cup of freshly made coffee, one which he was about to drink until he noticed his siblings all curled up on the couch sleeping. The co-CEO went back to the kitchen, left his cup of coffee then went to grab a blanket to join his family. Wrapping himself in a blanket burrito, Tim placed himself on the floor pressed up against sofa.

When Bruce returned home safely, he went to the main living room to see his children, and his future in-law who was basically his own by now, sleeping soundly with the TV still running. Reaching for the remote, he turned the television off and grabbed his phone to take a picture. He planned on printing it out and having it framed in his study. Bruce sat on one of the armchairs, taking a book to read. If there was peace in the house, he might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

[barzyyy]

when he’s anxious

trying something different. may is mental health awareness month. if you or someone you know is struggling, visit this website for resources. you are not alone.

tw: anxiety

most people didn’t know that, outside of the confident demeanor that he had while on the ice, mat was actually quite an anxious person. it showed up in simple ways - zoning out while on the bench during a game, being hard on himself when a game didn’t go right and, in more extreme situations, it showed up in a physical form. his whole body would vibrate, his eyes wouldn’t stop searching the room, and he would become distant.

it would frustrate him when people would make comments about his behaviors. “if only they really knew what was going on. i can’t control it, it just happens.” he would say, desperation seeping through his voice. he slowly became more and more insecure, more anxious that his fans would soon figure out that he often struggled to keep his mind at bay.

he secretly credits his hockey skills to his anxious mind. growing up, he would work so meticulously on his craft. hours would be spent outside passing pucks to himself, repeating it until it felt perfect. his mom would call him inside multiple times, always being followed by an “i’m almost done, mom!” he would finally recede and come in two hours later. he told people that he did it because he was passionate, but in reality, he did it because it was the fear of failure that drove him.

when he got drafted, he thought that all of his anxious thoughts would go away. he had finally made it. all of the extra hours spent at the rink were finally paying off, and he no longer had to worry that he devoted his life to hockey for no reason. that the intruding thoughts of how much his parents sacrificed to get him to the NHL would finally disappear.

they only got worse.

when you came into mat’s life, it took a while for him to admit his struggles to you. little did he know, your younger sister faced her own demon of anxiety growing up. you knew just how debilitating it could be, and for that, he was grateful. he finally felt understood. you had a way of addressing his anxious habits without making him feel undignified. besides his immediate family and beau, you were one of the only ones who knew him better than he knew himself.

he didn’t have panic attacks often, but when he did, they were terrifying. no one ever knew what to do. one time he would just want someone to hold his hand, but other times he would get angry when someone got even remotely too close. in the most extreme situations, his entire body would tense up, and he would lose feeling in his hands from unconsciously clenching them so tight. on one specific occassion, you had to call an ambulance because he could barely form a sentence. it was a moment that would never erase itself from your mind for the rest of your life.

the most difficult part for you was knowing that you couldn’t do anything to completely erase his feelings. you had to realize that it was not your job to “fix” him. mat has anxiety, but mat is not his anxiety. regardless if it was the energetic, spontaneous mat or the anxious, emotional mat, you still loved him the same. and that was the only job that you had to do.

mental illnesses can be tough. you found the two of you constantly arguing over whether or not mat should seek a counselor. you would get frustrated when he was only voicing his fears, or cancelling plans last minute because he all of a sudden did not feel like he was in the right mental space. it was frustrating...so, so frustrating. why did he refuse to talk to a professional? you would think that he would be so tired of living this way that he’d be willing to do something about it...right?

you found yourself grieving over the fact that he refused to seek help. you wanted him to get better so badly. the demon of anxiety was not something that you wished on anyone - not even your worst enemy. it was difficult to accept that it would take time to help him realize that he shouldn’t feel ashamed for wanting to talk to a trusted professional that could help him find freedom from his mind.

within all of the struggle though, you still managed to see mat for the person he truly is. he is the man that loves you more than anyone else. the man that takes care of you while you are sick, surprises you with dates and always helps you see the best possible outcomes of situations. he is the man that loses all sense of his “manliness” at the sight of a puppy or a baby. he is the man that you know you will marry one day.

it took time, but you soon came to terms with the fact that the road to freedom was a long, bumpy one. the harsh reality of battling a mental illness both directly and indirectly was not something that people talked about. but you were so passionate about mat that none of the hardships mattered. you were there to love him on the days when he couldn’t even do that for himself.

you made sure to remind him that you were there for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do you part.

[timefospookies]

DO YOU HAVE ANY REM HEADCANONS??? I love Rem sm

I SURE DO. AND LEMME TELL YOU ARG REM AND SPOOKS AU REM ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT JDISJJFIF

Listen I don’t know much about Rem from the wiki. All it says is they were mentioned by Duskworld lol

ANYWAY HERE THEY AREE

(TW TRANSPHOBIA)

Remi “Rem” Campbell (she/her)

- Born 1989, 22 in 2011

- Trans fem!!! <3

- Likes caring for plants :]

- Her parents joined the Moon Children when she was 8

- She developed her gift at age 12, that being Healing

- She can heal herself and others injuries but can only heal others from sickness

- Can heal injuries very quickly (although the time differs depending on the severity of it)

- The effort that it takes to heal can vary as well on the severity

- She can heal herself just fine, it drains her a bit, but it’s not terrible

- The only catch to her healing others is that it’s basically an exchange

- You could break your arm, go to her for healing, and she could heal your arm at the expense of hers breaking as a result

- An eye for an eye, as they say

- She’s very cautious with anything that could be dangerous

- She has a lot of medical knowledge and makes medicine from her plants!!

- Used to hang out with the preppy girls in the village when she was younger -> their leader was Maerlie lol

- Rem (14 y/o) trusted Maerlie with her being trans, but then she outed her to the entire village and all the adults got angry

- The High Priest wanted her out of the village, but Rosa and Matt could convince him to let her stay

- She’s considered an outcast from the other Children and it hurt that most of her family cast her away, but she learned to live with it

- She still has a bunch of friends who respect and care about her <3

- Rem mostly hangs out by the Lunar garden in the village since no one goes to it very often

- It’s filled with flowers and shrubs and growing fruit!! She takes care of the garden as if the plants were her children :]

- Rosa comes to the garden everyday to talk to her or read, even just sit in silence!!

- Alex also comes around often to chat about life, sometimes accompanied by Matt

- She thinks Matt is annoying but she’s grateful for him too LMAOJD

- The one who comes most often, after Rosa, is Nekko!! Trans fem solidarity <3

- Rem’s a great storyteller!!!

- I think she likes making up stories and telling them to whoever visits

- Can make up awesome and exciting stories on the spot!! It’s a lot of fun :]

- LIKES WORKING WITH WOOD!! LIKE CARVING!!!

- She could make a little theater and wooden figures to tell stories to the little ones!!

- Rosa and Nekko are her number 1 fans <3

- Can make beautiful designs on wood :3

- Loves listening to music and plays a little guitar!!!! (Which she made herself, mind you)

ANYWAY THATS ALL IVE GOT FOR NOW LOL ITS LATE HDIWNDJID

[agathasangel]

leave everything behind but me- part 1 (diane sherman x fem!reader)

Warnings: Diane is still extremely dangerous, TW for stalking, drugs, and illness (also brief vomit mention), hurt/comfort with a bit more hurt, this series may end up going in an NSFW direction but there isn’t any here, I really don’t know exactly where it’s going.

AU where pretty much everything in the movie is the same except the very last scene. Diane gets out of jail but isn’t able to find or contact Chloe. This is gonna be a series and probably way too long (I’m already writing part 2). Also I know there are a lot of Diane fics that are like this, sorry about that. But this is really fun to write so oh well. 

Summary: You finally got the courage to run away and start a new life. Diane gets out of jail. She can’t find Chloe, but created a bond with another girl, you. And she would never, ever lose you. After all, you need her.

You were finally doing this. You were leaving your home behind and never looking back. You never had a good relationship with your parents, and now that you had graduated High School your parents were constantly threatening to kick you out. So instead, you decided to just leave. You had found a town on the east coast (across the country from your home state) and you had saved all your money from your job for the bus tickets, and found a roommate online, Anna. until you had finally announced to your parents that you were moving out. They acted relieved, like a huge burden was just taken off of their plate. But you knew they were secretly upset that they no longer would have someone to blame every inconvenience on.

You sat on the bus, listening to music and looking out the window. You noticed a silver minivan that happened to have been following you almost all day and on two different buses. You wondered where the driver of the minivan was going. Maybe whoever the driver was was running away too, but was lucky enough to have a car.

The bus stopped in Chicago, about halfway to your destination, and you had an eight hour layover that you had to manage to stay awake for despite the fact that you hadn’t slept in the past 24 hours. You decided to go to a cafe that was next to the bus station to get some coffee to pass the time and keep you up.

“I’ll just have a large coffee with cream and 1 sugar, please.”

“Great! That’ll be three-fifty.”

You searched in your wallet before realizing that you were completely out of cash that wasn’t going towards your bus ticket or room.

“...never mind”

“Hey, I can pay for you, don’t worry about it.” Said the woman standing behind you.

“Oh, you don’t have to-”

“Don’t worry, its no big deal. Just come and sit with me.”

You had time. Besides, you wanted someone to talk to and this woman was quite attractive.

“Sure. Thank you.”

The woman ordered and led you to a table.

“So, what’s your name?”

“I’m (y/n). And you?”

You heard the barista say “Two coffees for Diane?” and the woman got up

“I guess that answers that?” you said.

Diane walked over to get the coffees and stirred in the cream and sugar into both of them.

She gave you one of the coffees and said “Yes, my name is Diane Sherman. Are you from around here?”

“Oh no, I’m from the west coast. I’m on a bus trip, moving across the country. Fresh start, you know. And you?”

“I have been too, actually. Well, except I’ve been driving. Why do you need a fresh start?”

“My parents and I have a rough relationship. I just graduated High School and I didn’t feel like there was a reason to stay. What about you?”

“I’m sorry about that, (y/n). I actually lost my daughter recently, I’ve been incredibly lonely. I’m hoping for a new start, and some new connections.”

“I’m sorry to hear that Diane, that’s terrible.” You wondered what happened to her daughter, but thought it was best not to pry into this woman’s life.

“I’ll get through it. Maybe I’ll find someone else I can take care of. Someone who really needs it.”

Diane asked you more questions about your family, life, interests, everything. You felt like this woman had a genuine interest in you that you never felt from anyone else. You liked it. But as you talked you realized that the coffee wasn’t waking you up, if anything you felt even more tired. Maybe you just had to wait.

“I haven’t slept in so long, I’m so tired. Thank you for getting this coffee for me. It was nice to meet you, Diane.” You said, sad that your paths may never cross again.

“(Y/n), wait.”

You turned back to her.

“I have an idea. I have a motel room with two beds for tonight. Why don’t you sleep there and we forget about the buses, you can just ride with me.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’ve bought a house and I’m going there, but I can take you wherever you’d like, there’s no rush. I understand you may be suspicious as a younger woman when an older person asks you to ride with them and stay in their hotel room but I promise I only ask because, well honestly, I’m lonely and need someone to take care of.”

It was probably the sleep deprivation, but you believed her. You got into her silver minivan and drove to a nearby motel. When you got in the room you immediately dropped all your stuff and flopped down onto the bed, exhausted.

“Hey, sweetie, you can shower in the morning if you want to but you should at least change into pajamas.” said Diane. You found the energy to take your clothes off and put on an oversized t-shirt as you listened to Diane sing in the shower. You fell asleep to the sounds of the running shower and the older woman’s slightly off-key singing.

When you woke up, Diane was reading and sipping some coffee. You noticed she had also gotten you one.

“Morning, sweetheart. Now, I’m not in much of a rush to get out of here so just take your time. Drink your coffee and then take a shower, alright?”

“Sounds good!” You said, starting to drink your coffee.

“Great. I’m looking forward to spending more time with you, (y/n). I think maybe we were destined to meet. You without loving parents and me, in desperate need of someone to love and care for.”

“Maybe..”

You couldn’t explain why, but you did like this strange woman. She seemed kind, and she was very pretty, which couldn’t have hurt. The only reason you said yes to her last night was because you needed sleep so badly but now that you were fully rested, you couldn’t say you regretted it. You walked to the shower and felt a bit lightheaded. While you were in the shower you started to feel weak and you finally fell over.

As soon as she heard the thud of your body to the shower floor, Diane ran into the bathroom.

“(Y/N)? What happened? Are you ok?”

“I... I fell... I don’t know why.” You said, a bit embarrassed of the woman seeing your naked body like this

“Ok, let’s get you dried off and dressed, then I think we have to get some food into you.” and Diane helped you up, helped you dry off and took out your most comfortable-looking clothes and put them on you. This whole thing made you feel like a child, but you almost didn’t mind. It’s not like you’ve ever been taken care of like this before.

“Lean on me if you need to, I’ll come back for the luggage after you’re in the car.” You held onto Diane’s arm all the way to the front seat of the car.

“Just wait here, okay love?”

She got both your suitcase and hers and but them back in the car. You noticed that her suitcase that was in your room was not the only one she had, and she in fact had several suitcases, and lots of bags. She was older and more established than you, of course she had more things than you did.

She drove until you found a diner where the two of you could get breakfast. She helped you out of the car and told her to at least hold her hand while you walked.

“I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, maybe eating something will make you feel better.”

“Yeah, I hope so. I’ve never felt like this before, I really hope I’m not sick.”

“I don’t think that’s it.”

While you ate you talked, and Diane gave you a pill that she said might make you feel better. You took it and you did start feeling a little bit better. 

“Is it working? Do you feel ready to go?”

“I think so”

And so you left the diner with Diane feeling a little bit better. She kept her hands on you to guide you as you went to the car, just in case. 

“I’m ok now. But thanks, Diane.”

“Of course.” She grabbed your hand for a second and smiled at you and your heart skipped a beat. Why did you feel this way?

Diane drove for several hours until you fell asleep again. When she woke you up you were in a hotel parking lot in a small town you didn’t recognize.

“Where are we?”

“I think we’re somewhere in central Pennsylvania. We have a lot more driving to do, but it’s getting late. Let’s get some dinner and get you to bed.”

That night was relaxing and easy. Diane ordered room service and you ate while sitting on her bed together and watching a movie. The two of you began to cuddle and you ended up falling asleep in the older woman’s arms. When you stirred early the next morning she was still holding you.

When you woke up for real, Diane brought you some coffee. 

Diane got back on the road and she asked you where you planned on staying. You told her you were going to stay with a girl named Anna who you talked to online. As the car ride progressed, the weak feeling you had the other day started to come back.

“That’s ok. You can stay with me tonight if you want.”

“You really don’t have to-”

“Yes, I do. I want to make sure you’re ok, let me take care of you.” You figured that if Diane were dangerous, she would have tried to do something to you by now since you’ve basically been alone with her for almost two days. How bad could it be?

It turned out that the house Diane lived very close to Anna anyway, so you decided why not.

You drove another seven or so hours from the hotel all the way to a small house in a very cute little town not too far from where you had planned on settling in.

“This is it.”

You got out of the car and brought your stuff into the house. It was a cute, small place that was already furnished. You and Diane both looked around. There were two bedrooms, one bathroom, and a living room and kitchen.

“It’s a good thing I got a two-bedroom, I guess. You can stay here as long as you’d like.”

“Thank you”“

“I’m gonna go out and bring some more stuff in and then I’ll make us some tea, does that sound good?”

“Sure.”

The two of you sat on the couch and talked while you drank the tea Diane made you. The tea didn’t taste bad, but it didn’t taste like anything you’ve had before. You told her more about your family life after she asked.

“Your parents were so lucky,” said Diane, who was getting a bit emotional, “to have a child as healthy and beautiful and sweet as you. There are so many people who would give anything to have what your parents took for granted.”

“I don’t know, maybe it is my fault. Maybe I was just a bad kid. Maybe I was hard to like, or dumb, or-”

“I don’t think you’re any of those things. And I’m sorry that you believe that, because it’s not true.”

“You think so?”

“I do.”  

You went to bed that night in your room and Diane in hers. When you woke up you felt weak and sick to your stomach. You guessed that Diane was wrong and you were in fact coming down with something.

“Diane!” You felt bad for possibly waking her up, but you’d feel even worse if you threw up on the sheets, and you didn’t know if you could make it to the bathroom. So you did it. She immediately came running to you.

“Are you ok, sweetie? What’s wrong?”

“I think I’m sick. Do you have a bucket or something?”

“Yes. Just one second.”

She left and very quickly brought back a bucket for you.

“I hope I haven’t gotten you sick too.”

“Don’t worry about that, I rarely get sick. Just let me take care of you.”

And you did. For the next few days as she looked for teaching jobs she nursed you back to health. Well, almost-health, at least. You weren’t having stomachaches or throwing up anymore but you still felt weak. She gave you pills and lots of them, and some might have had some bad side effects. All the pain medication she gave you almost had a numbing effect on your body. Anna had completely stopped responding to you and you worried she didn’t want to be roommates anymore, not like you could be on your own right now anyway in the state you were in. You needed Diane to take care of you. She was being interviewed for a position as a science teacher at the local High School but other than working on all of the application material she had all the free time in the world to be with you.

“Anna said she found another roommate.”

“Hey, don’t worry about that alright? You’re still sick and I really don’t mind you just... staying here and living with me. Besides, I really think I’m going to get this job and if I do I’ll easily be able to support the both of us.”

“Diane, you don’t have to... I applied for some jobs already.”

“None of which you can do when you’re sick, now please lie back down. I know you feel bad for letting me take care of you and baby you so much, but you don’t have to. I’ve already told you that I like having someone to take care of. And I know you like it when I take care of you too.”

And you hated to admit it, but she was right. Despite how horrible you felt physically, you enjoyed your time with Diane. You started doing a lot of fun things together. You both enjoyed yourselves, and Diane sometimes told you that she felt like she had a daughter again. She made you feel loved. You still had your own bed, but you often fell asleep on the couch or in Diane’s bed while the two of you cuddled.

“I love you, (y/n). My baby.” Diane said as you started to drift off on the couch with her that night.

[hitozy]

have you ever ‹ masterlist › denouement

tw! manipulation, mentioned underage sex, dubious consent, cheating. i also want to point out that reader is around 2-3 years younger than Iwaizumi, while Jae and Iwa are the same age. ps. this is a long chp :)

𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞

Iwaizumi has no idea of what has possessed him tonight. He doesn't know why he's walking around the city in the middle of the night a day before he should be on his way home.

He doesn't know why after the celebration he didn't follow his teammates. He doesn't know why he has barely answered your texts since after the game.

He also doesn't know why he agreed to go and see Jae, to hear her out.

He's been doing fine so far, seven months Jae clean and while the first three were bumpy; your company had made it easier to deal with. Your cheerfulness, your happiness, the adventures you've both have been planning have taken his mind off the broken heart he was nursing.

She continued to contact him, even when he begged her not to and blocking her phone was no use, she just got a new one and tried again and again. His resolve was diluted and he knew it would be a matter of time before he fell into his old habits.

lil jae: congrats on the win haji! let me invite you to a drink, im in town.

-

Iwaizumi recalls an old memory from back in high school, a few weeks before moving to California, you were sitting on his bed helping him organize his suitcase with 'essentials'. His clothes all over the place but as always, you showed enthusiasm at helping him out.

He remembers you giggling and calling him a dork while folding his Godzilla themed underwear and placing it inside his suitcase. He remembers the way you hummed some songs that you had just placed on your shared playlist because 'it's kinda your style' and it kinda is. He even remembers what you were wearing, a pair of black running shorts and a blue tank top. When you reached over the edge of his bed for his fallen socks, your cleavage was visible to his eyes, 'If a man ever peers down his shirt', he thought, 'I'll kill him without hesitating.'

But what he remembers the most is you pulling out an old shoe box from under said bed, a shoe box that held his most treasured things. Pictures from his childhood that matched the ones on your bedroom wall, doddles from your hand, your favorite flowers pressed inside a copy of your favorite book, short stories and poems, snippets of stories never finished from you. He'll never forget your teary eyes and happy smile when he took the box from you, emptying the contents carefully inside his backpack. The hug you gave him afterward still sets his heart on fire, nothing has ever been more lovely than you and your happy smile.

He also remembers Jae coming into his room right during your hug, wearing an empty smile on her face, her eyes red and raging. He's only ever seen her this mad whenever he's with you and he still doesn't get it.

She stay's to "help" when in reality all she does is glare at yn the whole time. It helps that you don't even mind the glares or the bad mood, joking that 'Jae's grumpy because we couldn't go to the movies today'.

It was late afternoon when you left, Iwaizumi had given you a bag filled with some of his stuff - things he knew you loved and adored, things he couldn't take. He watched you get inside your parents car and wave him goodbye, even though you both knew he'd be coming through your window in a few hours for movie night.

He remembers when he came back inside to find Jae naked on his bed. How angry she was and how she took it out on sex, the tension so palpable he could taste it. Once it was over, she walked towards his backpack and pulled out all of YN's things and that's when it clicked. She was mad because he was taking stuff about YN and not her, she made it clear when Jae told him, 'What the fuck is this.'

-

He remembers that hours later, he finds himself in your room squeaky clean and wearing nothing but his sweatpants and socks, his back against your front with his head against your breasts. He hadn't told you that Jae broke up with him, but he knew you had figured out he was sad because your arms cradled him since he got situated there and had not moved since.

How Jae said she wouldn't move with him in the end. How she had decided to stay in Japan and have him go to California all alone in the end, just because she wanted him to. How he begged her to come, to stay with him, to not leave him and how he watched her get dressed to go home. How she winked at him as she left with a, "Call me once you're in Cali."

How she only wants to go out when she knows he has plans with you. How she only cares about him when you're around or how messed up and used he feels ever since she took his virginity during your 14th birthday party.

He feels disgusting sometimes after sex with Jae, disgusted with himself on how wrong it is but how much he loves her still.

He didn't have to say any of that to you, the kiss on the forehead you just gave him eased it all away anyway.

-

He remembers all of this while he's kissing Jae in her hotel room, her dress and underwear discarded somewhere in the room, his cock buried deep inside of her like a starved man, Her nails racking down his chest from his unbuttoned shirt as she moaned at the feeling.

When Jae separates herself from him with half lidded eyes, she smirks, "I bet my little cousin can't even kiss right, the little virgin." She kisses the column of his neck, grazing her teeth against the skin, getting ready to mark him as hers and even though he doesn't agree with her, he stays quiet.

A memory burst through his mind as he pounds into Jae. The way your sighed his name when he settled himself inside of you, the way your nails scratched his back when he hit your G-spot, the way you moaned when his thumb circled your clit; your gummy, tight walls griped him as you came, with his name on your lips. Your soft, pillow lips that have only been his, only kissed him.

"Be safe out there, Hajime! I'll be waiting for you!" She smiled as she kissed him goodbye by the front door.

He turned to deepen the kiss, pulling her closer to him like a starved man, "Don't worry, I'm not gonna runaway, mochi."

As he walked down the steps of his house, he heard her say "I miss you already."

It's then that Iwaizumi snaps out of it.

He pushes her off of him and steps back until his back is against the wall, feeling disgusted with himself in a way he hasn't since they broke up.

"I can't do this, I won't do this, I-" he pushes himself off the wall, tucking himself in and picking up his stuff, "Never again, Jae."

Jae watches him leave, a sinister smile spreading across her face. Her gaze steady as his figure disappears into the night, "If you think you can just up and go, Haji, you are very mistaken."

She walks to where she hid her phone and chuckles as she presses send, "Lets see what my little cousin has to say, hmm?"

-

Iwaizumi was worried, it wasn't normal for you to not answer his calls or texts. He was on the road back home with the team, their ruckus would usually give him a headache, but right now? Right now he can't focus on anything except the little 'unread' mark at the bottom of his last text to you.

my one: mochi? r u ok? im on my way back home

-

He didn't expect to come back home and find you in the living room in silence. Your eyes rimmed red and puffy from crying, you didn't have to say anything for him to know what had happened.

Jae told you.

He wish he could be surprised, but Jae had been nothing but a devil all this time and he can't believe he never saw it until now. Until he married you, an angel.

"Mochi, I'm sorry. I'm very very sorry, please talk to me." He knelt at your feet, his hands on your knees trying to get you to look at him. His guilt crashing down brick by brick, he should have never gone out to see her.

"I know this means nothing to you, mochi. But I'll never see her again, only when its a family reunion or you're with me."

Silence.

"There is no excuse, but yn, please, look at me, let me explain."

She pushes him off a bit, without much force as if her sadness took away all her strength and his heart clenched. How could he do this to his best friend? Lie and lie, again and again and again.

YN-”

“No, STOP! You- you got your say, now it’s my turn.” She's shaking and her breaths are short. She's starting to have a panic attack.

I get up and advance towards her slowly, “YN you need to calm down. Here,” I place my hand on her back, “let me-”

She pushes me off, her back towards me, “Please, don’t touch me. Please, please, please.” She's sobbing and its hurts so so much.

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

“Remember your breathing exercises, mochi. In and out. In…”

Eventually her breathing normalizes but she still won't look at me and it takes all of my strength to not touch her.

“All I ever wanted was for you to love me, Hajime.”

Whoever said words can never hurt someone, has never been in my place. She just stabbed me without a knife and its more painful than I ever imagined.

“I wanted you to love me, to see me as your wife, as a woman but you didn’t. You don’t and I- it hurts so much.”

“But, mochi, you said you would marry me so we didn’t end up with strangers.”

“I know.”

“Then why-”

“I lied. I’ve loved you since the moment you came into my life. I’ve loved you for years, even before Jae came into the picture. I’ve loved you so so so much, I love you so much.”

“… you know about Jae? Since when?!” I made the mistake of reaching out for her, she pushed me back and said nothing. The dread of her knowing, of her finding out before today makes me sick.

“If you knew then why did you marry me!? Did you think I would change? That my feelings would change? You know I’m not like that.”

“I do know. I- thought that maybe-, but then it was clear that nothing would change but, I made a promise to you and I said it in our vows.”

“YN-”

“I know the mistake is mine. I know what all the blame is mine to take, I know it and I accept it. I’m sorry, Hajime, that’s me that you have to stay with.”

She finally turns to look at me, but I wish she hadn't. The tears are flowing steadily down her cheeks to her neck. I did this to her, I hurt her again and again, without thinking. No, without watching. Because if I had paid attention to her like Jae did, I might have seen it sooner.

“We could get a divorce, you know. That way you can stop getting hurt. Stop your heart from breaking. You don’t deserve this.”

“It’s okay. I- I give you permission to do it, to break my heart forever.”

“…What?”

She takes my hand, and in-between the tears she smiles at me as if her heart wasn't breaking in two. As if I didn't shatter her dreams for a few sloppy seconds, “It’s okay, I know what I signed up for, I knew it from the beginning. I guess I just didn’t want to accept it. So go ahead, break my heart, break it into a million pieces! I give you permission, Iwaizumi Hajime, please just - don’t leave me.”

I can't say anything, what am I supposed to say? My sweet, sweet girl is hurt and damaged and all she wants is for me to stay. I feel disgusted in a way I never did with Jae, because instead of being used, I am using her.

I bring her into my arms, and say the only words that have actual meaning between us, "I love you, mochi."

"I- I'll do better, I promise. Please YN," He gripped her shoulders tightly, "Please forgive me, I'll do whatever just, I'm so sorry, baby."

He can feel the tears spilling onto his shirt, a scorching pain expanding through his chest at the consequences of his actions. He hurt the one person who didn't deserve it, who he promised to keep safe and happy.

"Hajime, please take a bath, I wanna sleep without the smell of Jae."

His heart dropped at her words, he forgot that he had just upped and left from Jae's, only changing his clothes for comfort. His skin still smelled like her. As he separated from her, he kissed her forehead, "Join me?"

-

He laid on the bed with her hours later, her head on his chest where he could see her puffy eyes. She had washed him thoroughly to the point were he thought she had scrubbed him raw, and he couldn't blame her - he wanted to do the same since the beginning.

He pulled her closer, practically on top of him and felt her heartbeat against his own. He had done something terrible and he needed to fix it, fix this. So he needed to take the first step.

to lil jae: for someone who says they love me, u sure like to make me miserable. i don't know why u hate yn so much and tbh i don't care anymore. i don't want to see u or talk to u ever again. if u contact me, i'm gonna get a restraining order, jae. i can't do this anymore.

to lil jae: goodbye jae.

do you wish to block this number?

yes.

Remorse is memory awake, Her companies astir,— A presence of departed acts At window and at door.

Its past set down before the soul,         And lighted with a match, Perusal to facilitate Of its condensed despatch.

Remorse is cureless,—the disease Not even God can heal;         For ’t is His institution,— The complement of hell.

Remorse is memory awake - Emily Dickinson

taglist ! @daphnxy @zukoslosthishonor​ @i-am-a-hoe-for-shinya @mrsdoradominguez-barnes @anejuuuuoy

a/n! *hands you all this and runs* i'll see you soon for chp11~

but in all seriousness, i wrote this chapter with my heart on my sleeve. love is truly the strongest curse and for it to be unrequired? imagine it.

now, i'm off to write the next part! and i am sorry :) ♥