#tw physical altercations

[paraesol]

For the crown

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[sadweatherchildren]

i have GOT to stop having like violently self destructive autist meltdowns like dude chill the fuck out you're going to give yourself ANOTHER concussion. woke up this morning and my neck and head are bruised cmon dude this is so unchill and unniceys.

[nishaxeleazar]

-- jump forward --

Due to the bond Nisha had placed on Reid years ago, she was able to track him down, no matter where he was. So when she realized that he was close to the theatre, where she'd been not an hour prior, Nisha began to make her way back. She knew that she'd left Markus there and her hope was that her two fledglings weren't there at the same time. Told herself that Markus most likely left because surely, he had other business to attend to.

But when she approached the outside of the theatre, Nisha realized that she was silly for even having a small shred of hope. Foolish, that she'd think her fledglings would know better than to put their hands on one another. Delusional, as she watched Markus drop Reid from a nearby building and leave him there.

One fledgling at a time. Nisha reminded herself as she walked towards Reid, who was now groaning and writhing on the ground. "I gave you too much credit, before." She said as she knelt down next to him, her fingers brushed gently over his bloodied face. "You are not as smart as you used to be, Reid Halstead."

END

There is no answer Markus could have given that would have Reid satisfied. He knows vengeance and revenge; righteous fury and the embrace of its jaws. It would have changed nothing, to know. It would have scratched an itch, when his entire body is screaming to fall to the same depravity this monster he faces, is.

A grunt escapes when the bone breaks, Reid's own — Markus'. He knows, and that's fine. He'll tear out his teeth, one by one and wear them as a necklace. Rip his jaw from his face with one horrible bout of strength; a mutilated mass of flesh to hang beneath a set of devious eyes, fading of their black. Halstead thinks he is different to the beast that almost killed his sister, but he's not. At the core, even before death stole everything from him. He feels the same justice in killing, right and wrong are variables that shit like Markus wave away like flies.

Reid's teeth are gritted, fangs tip over his bottom row. They threaten to puncture his own flesh. So he's vicious when he speaks, hissing over the bout of brawling that he and De Villiers exchange.

"Next time, I'll reach in and rip out the whole thing," Ribcage, heart, spinal cord, blackened lungs — watch them ashen in his hands, sanding between his fingers. Right, that is. What's wrong, is everything Markus is.

It doesn't cease, the monstrous sounds when the rows of theatre seats, the debris of a caved-in wall pass by them. They're back into the night as if they could go for hours; until the sun breaks past the horizon and ends it for them both.

Reid groans, more pained the second time he buries into the bricks. Smack, slap —He crashes to the ground on the other side of it, groaning in agony as he feels the slow movements of his bones both displaced and fighting to right themself inside his body. When he rolls over, it's with another noise of complaint, he can barely determine which way he's facing. But he grunts sharply when he's forced over, a knee that threatens to concave his ribcage has his hands frantically digging into Markus' leg, in an attempt to lift him off. Furious eyes, blood-stained gaze steeling into the other man's.

Halstead cannot speak, De Villiers determined to say his piece as he squeezes the cords of Halstead's throat. A decade ago, he'd never fall this way. (but he did) The magic in his faded tattoo isn't saving him now, but he knows it's painfully there — glaring at his fallen form whilst he shreds his nails across Markus' leg, feeling the blood seep beneath his nails. How does it feel? Reid feels the world closing in on him, for a second time.

He growls when Markus' teeth tempt to bury — it's not his sire's, he doesn't feel the rush of warmth; he's sure that's a choice thing. "I will end you," He's louder, forcing the words over the grip Markus has on his neck. They're big words, for a man covered in brick debris, bleeding and withholding the scream that his chest is slowly, inch by inch, caving inwards. The pressure has him in a hail mary — "You won't touch them, De Villiers." He won't lose to think on betrayal, and all the nasty mind tricks the other might think himself capable of. "You talk too much, is that how she escaped you?" He knows it isn't, but he's livid, biting back at the other.

Reid shoves forward in an act to try and move Markus, but in the fast-falling energy, he's shifted a hand to reach out for one of the chunks of the broken wall, grips it with cut fingers — and swings right across the too-close body atop him.

[thewulf]

Escapism || Azriel

Summary: Request -can you make an azriel x night court reader fanfic request? I was listening the song escapism by raye and this just kinda came to me! It's kinda unhinged so you can change whatever if you choose to write it. Y/N and Lucien have been together for like 100+ years but then Elain Archeron comes along and they are mates so lucien begrudgingly breaks up with Reader... Read Rest Here

A/N: This one is sad but gets sweet towards the end. Reader is in her feelings!

Pairing: Azriel x Female Reader (Night Court Reader)

Word Count: 6.1k +

TW: Drunkeness, reader being mean, some physical altercations

Your relationship with Lucien had always felt destined. Willing it to be woven by the threads of fate and bound by centuries of love and laughter. For over a hundred years, you and Lucien had built a life that straddled the boundary between the Autumn Court and the Night Court, which you called home. It was a life full of compromises and sacrifices, but every moment was a testament to the depth of your affection for each other.

But fate had a funny way of not being so destined. Elain Archeron stepped into the picture. Her very presence unraveling the future you had envisioned. When Lucien revealed that Elain was his mate the foundation of your world crumbled. This wasn’t just about losing a lover. It was about the rending of a bond you believed was unbreakable. Lucien’s voice trembled with conflict as he confessed the truth. His amber eyes reflecting a pain that echoed your own. He didn’t want to leave you, but the mating bond was not something either of you could fight. It was powerful, demanding, and absolute. It was destiny.

Amidst your heartbreak a more piercing pain emerged when you discovered that your friends—Rhysand, Feyre, Cassian, and even Nesta—had known about Elain and her bond with Lucien before you did. Half of the Inner Circle knew, and the other half was excluded. Amren, Mor, you and Azriel were the ones left in the dark. They had kept it a secret hoping to protect you from the inevitable heartache. Yet this revelation only deepened your sense of betrayal. How could they, the ones you considered family, keep you in the dark about something that would shatter your life?

The night you found out was an uncomfortable one. You weren't usually one for confrontation, but the rage that built up inside you was ready to explode. As you sat among Rhysand, Feyre, Cassian, and Nesta in the quiet, imposing space of the House of Wind the air felt thick with tension. They began to explain, voices low and fraught with anxiety. They each detailed how they had known about Elain and Lucien’s mate bond for months. Their words were meant to be comforting but were instead filled with reasons and justifications about protecting you from heartache, sparing your feelings until they absolutely had to share the truth.

Sitting across from them in the quietude of the House of Wind you couldn’t hold back the surge of anger and disappointment that welled up inside you. "How could you?" you demanded, your voice quivering not just with sorrow, but with indignation. "You all knew. For months, you knew, and not one of you thought to warn me?"

Rhysand had a somber expression. He was the first to respond. "We struggled with whether to tell you," he admitted. His usual confidence replaced by a hesitancy that did little to quell your growing resentment. "The last thing we wanted was to see you hurt."

"And yet, here I am. Hurt all the same," you shot back. The pain sharp in your voice. "Hurt and betrayed. You chose to protect me from heartache but instead you ensured it."

Feyre reached out with her hand tentative and unsure. "We thought we were doing the right thing. We thought it might not happen. That maybe the bond wouldn’t take hold right away and..."

"And what?" you interrupted ripping your hand away from her touch. "That I’d what? Be spared the pain? Look at me, Feyre. Do I look spared to you?" Your voice was sharp. Sharper than you’d ever spoken to any of them before.

Cassian who was usually the one to lighten the mood sat unusually quiet. His usual bravado nowhere in sight. Nesta had her jaw set, her eyes revealing a turmoil that mirrored your own. It was a rare glimpse into her often-guarded emotions.

"It was never about doubting your strength," Cassian finally said, his voice low. "It was about giving you happiness for as long as we could."

"Happiness built on a lie?" you asked. The irony was bitter on your tongue. "Is that what our friendship is about? Lies?"

The room fell silent, the tension palpable. Each of them struggled with their choices, now clearly regretting the pain those choices had caused. It was evident in their downcast eyes and the slump of their shoulders. It was a shared burden yet unequally felt.

"I'm not just some fragile piece of glass," you continued. Your anger only fueled by their silence. "I deserved to know, to make my own choices. To prepare, or... to say goodbye on my own terms."

The conversation that followed was a painful unraveling of trust and intent. As they each tried to explain, to justify, you realized that this wound would take time to heal. Perhaps what stung the most was the realization that their intentions had robbed you of your agency. Leaving you to a mere spectator in your own life. They spoke of protection. Of sparing you pain. Each explanation threading through the air with the weight of unspoken truths now laid bare. Their voices blended into a cacophony of excuses, each one fueling the fire of your anger and hurt further.

Rhysand’s voice held a note of desperation as he tried once more to explain, "We only wanted—"

"Would you just shut up! All of you!" you erupted cutting him off mid-sentence. Your voice, resolute, sliced through the room. "I don't want to hear it. Nothing you can do or say will make this right.” The room went deathly silent. The gravity of your words hanging heavily between you. Their faces were etched with regret and shock at your outburst. It was a stark reminder of the deep rift that had formed within your group.

You stood abruptly. The chair scraping sharply against the floor. "I can’t be here," you stated flatly. Your voice colder now, resolved. Without waiting for a response, you turned and walked away, each step echoing your departure.

You needed space. Needed air to breathe away from the stifling atmosphere of justifications and apologies. You decided to go to Mor’s place. She too hadn’t known about Elain and Lucien. She hadn’t been part of the deceit that had upended your world. As you left the House of Wind the open sky above seemed to offer the first breath of true freedom since the revelation had shattered your peace.

The walk to Mor’s was quiet. The streets of Velaris holding a serene calm that contrasted sharply with the storm inside you. Reaching her house, you knocked briskly, and she opened the door with a surprised, yet immediately concerned expression.

"Can I stay here for a bit?" you asked without preamble. The weariness in your voice more pronounced now that you were away from the others.

"Of course," Mor responded instantly before stepping aside to let you in. Her eyes searching yours for the pain she was quick to sense. "Whatever you need."

As you stepped into the refuge Mor offered you felt a slight unclenching in your chest. A small relief in the acceptance of a friend untouched by the deceit that had marred your trust in others. You hoped to find the space to heal. To gather the scattered pieces of your heart and perhaps, in time, to forgive. But for now, you simply needed the quiet understanding of someone who had been kept in the dark as much as you had.

Compounding your agony was the necessity to leave the Autumn Court where you had spent half your time with Lucien. You had to come home completely now, full-time to the Night Court. Each step away from the Autumn lands was a reminder of the isolation waiting for you back home. Away from the life and love you had known. The Night Court felt more oppressive than ever. It was supposed to be your sanctuary but now it only served as a cage. It was trapping you with your memories and your pain.

Despite the profound sense of betrayal and the sharp sting of heartache that pervaded your days you chose to stay because Velaris was still home. It was here among the winding streets, the starlit skies, and the vibrant buzz of the Night Court that you had grown, loved, and dreamed. Leaving would mean abandoning not just the place but the fragments of yourself that still clung to the hopes and dreams you’d nurtured here. The thought of leaving Azriel, the one constant who understood your pain without needing words, whose silent strength had become your sanctuary, felt like severing the last thread of stability you possessed. In the depths of your turmoil, Velaris, with all its darkness and lights, remained a place where healing seemed possible. Where the pieces of your broken heart might someday mend.

You withdrew into yourself. Your nights consumed by reckless escapades and endless drinking. You shunned daylight, avoided responsibilities, and ignored the worried glances of your friends. Azriel, who had always been a silent sentinel in your life watched from afar. His shadowed gaze filled with concern that you were too lost in your grief to notice.

This spiral of despair drew you deeper into the depths of the Night Court where you sought oblivion in the bottom of a glass. You hoped and prayed it might wash away the ache in your soul. Your heart felt like a hollow shell, beaten, and bruised by betrayal and loss. You had to wonder if you’d ever find your way back to the light.

As the days bled into nights your world narrowed to the dim corners of taverns and the bitter burn of liquor. Training sessions were skipped, duties neglected. Each glass raised was an attempt to erase the sting of wasted years. You had given a century of your life to Lucien, woven dreams and plans tightly around a love you believed was mutual. Only to find it undone by a destiny that held no space for you. You couldn’t shake the feeling that your love had been a placeholder until his true mate appeared.

You felt like a fool, a pawn in the grand scheme of their secrets and politics. This revelation forced you into isolation. You could hardly stand to look at the people that left you in the dark. Let alone speak to them. Only Mor and Azriel became your solace. Mor who had also been kept out of the loop shared in your feelings of betrayal understanding the deep cut of being excluded by those you loved. Azriel, too, had been kept in the dark, his complicated feelings for Elain used against him to justify the secrecy. You found it cruel. A manipulation of his unspoken affections that only deepened your trust in him, knowing that he, too, had been a victim of their concealments.

Azriel watched over you with a quiet intensity. His shadows whispering of your pain in ways words never could. He knew the depth of your heartbreak having borne his own silent loves and losses. From the shadowed corners of the room, he observed your self-destructive spiral with a growing sense of desperation. There was an understanding in his eyes, a shared recognition of love unreturned that made him reach out to you despite your withdrawal.

Your interactions with Azriel became the few moments of genuine connection in your days. He didn’t push you to speak or to return to the life you’d left behind. Instead, he simply shared your space. Offering you a silent solidarity. His presence was your calm. And in his eyes you found the empathy you’d been denied by so many others. Yet, even this comfort was tinged with the bitter knowledge that it was borne from shared pain. Something created from the fragments of your broken hearts.

On one particularly rough evening, feeling the dull ache of wine coursing through your veins, you sought the familiarity of the library. It was a place that once offered solace, but now it felt like navigating an once beloved yet distant landscape.

Staggering slightly, you found yourself pushing open the heavy door of the library. The scent of old books and ink momentarily grounding you. Inside Mor was tucked into her favorite nook surrounded by a mountain of scrolls and books. Her presence immediately brought a smile to your face and without hesitation you blurted out, "Mor! My girl, let's go to Rita's." Your voice wavered with a mixture of forced cheerfulness and palpable pain betraying your already intoxicated state.

As you made this impromptu invitation you were acutely aware of Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel gathered in a solemn cluster near the grand oak table that dominated the room. Their conversation was likely heavy with undisclosed burdens. They paused abruptly as they noticed your entrance. The library usually a sanctuary of whispered lore and hushed dialogues felt oppressively silent as their eyes fixed on you.

With a deliberate effort to mask your pain with a veneer of cheerfulness you ignored Rhys and Cassian completely. Instead directing your gaze to where Azriel stood, his figure cloaked in customary shadows. "Hi, Shadowsinger!" you exclaimed. Your tone lighter than your heart felt. It was easier to pretend. To keep up the facade of resilience than to acknowledge the jagged pieces of your heart.

Mor quickly stood, catching the tail end of your forced merriment. Her eyes flickered with a mix of concern and understanding. She exchanged a look with the others. Her expression pleading for them to somehow mend the chasm that had opened between you all. But when she saw you purposefully ignoring Rhys and Cassian, her shoulders slumped in resignation. Recognizing the depth of your pain and your current incapacity for forgiveness.

She packed up her belongings. Her movements deliberate. "You're going one way or another, aren't you?" she asked you. Her voice was filled with a sorrow that mirrored your own. It wasn't a question, but a statement. A knowing of the inevitable path the night would take.

"Yes. I need to not think… just for a little while," you replied. Your own smile faltering as the false cheer began to crumble under the weight of your true feelings.

Rhys and Cassian exchanged a glance with a mix of frustration and regret marring their features. They understood that their attempts at reconciliation would be futile this evening. Azriel stood silent and observant. He met your gaze with an intensity that spoke volumes. He nodded slightly. A promise that he would keep you safe even if from a distance.

Even as you grappled with your feelings of betrayal and heartache Azriel had already found it within himself to forgive Rhys and Cass for keeping the truth from both of you. His capacity for understanding their motives. Flawed as they were by their protective instincts, allowed him to see past the pain they had inadvertently caused. Azriel recognized that their actions stemmed from a deep-seated desire to shield both him and you from the inevitable pain of Lucien’s bond with Elain.

You, however, found forgiveness not so easily granted. Your feelings of betrayal were compounded by the thought that your closest friends had decided your fate without your input.  Treating you more like a fragile object to be protected rather than a person capable of facing harsh truths. While Azriel had moved towards reconciliation you remained rightfully stubborn wrestling with a wound too fresh to close

With Mor in tow, you left the library. The heavy silence settling back among the shelves after your departure. Azriel followed discreetly. A shadow among shadows. His concern a tangible cloak around him as he watched you attempt to drown your sorrows under the guise of revelry at Rita’s. The night stretched before you. It was filled with the echoes of what could have been and the sharp sting of what was now your reality.

At Rita’s the ambiance had devolved into a haze for you. Each drink an attempt to erase the sharp edges of your reality. The buzz of the crowd and the clink of glasses were a distant backdrop to the storm raging inside you. As you reached for another glass your movements were sluggish and unfocused. A stranger slipped beside you, his smile too eager, his intentions unclear. He offered you a drink with a slick insistence that made your skin crawl even through the fog of alcohol.

The moment your fingers grazed the cool surface of the glass Azriel materialized at your side. His movements were a blur. The glass knocked from your grasp and shattering against the hard floor with a resounding crash that sliced through the bar's cacophony. "Enough, Y/N," his voice cut through your stunned silence, low and laced with an urgency that tightened his features.

"Why?!" The word tore from your throat, raw and loud, fueled by the sharp bite of alcohol and a torrent of pain you no longer had the strength to contain. "Why do you care? Just let me drown it all out, Az! Let me forget!" Your words were a mix of accusation and desperation spilling out in a reckless cascade.

Pain flickered across Azriel's face His eyes darkening with concern. "It’s not safe, Y/N. That drink. That male was trying to drug you. I can't—I won't let that happen,” he insisted. His voice firm despite the chaos around you.

Rebellion surged within you, potent and bitter. "Don't do this to me, Azzy!" The nickname was usually a term of endearment but now sounded like a rebuke, heavy with your anguish. "You can't save me from this. Let me have this!"

Your attempt to pull away was futile against his strength. Azriel’s eyes scanned the crowd one last time giving more a quick nod, his decision made in the span of a heartbeat when she nodded back. With no other choice as you continued to struggle against him he wrapped his arm securely around your waist and winnowed you both away, the world dissolving into shadows. You reappeared on a deserted hillside just outside the city. The sharp, cold air was a slap against your heated skin. The stark silence a jarring contrast to the noise of Rita’s.

“I can’t watch you destroy yourself, Y/N. I just can’t,” Azriel implored, his voice thick with emotion as he steadied your staggering form.

"Destroy myself?!" you screamed back. The frustration and hurt boiling over. Your hands balled into fists. Your entire body tense with pent-up emotion. "My life is already destroyed, Azriel! I've lost everything. My love, my dreams, my worth! What's there left to destroy?"

In your anguish you lashed out physically, pushing against Azriel's chest with all the force of your despair. He staggered slightly but didn't push back. He of all people understood your need to vent the storm of emotions inside you.

“You haven’t lost everything,” he tried to reassure you but even he knew where your head was at. You weren’t going to listen to him.

"I have!" Your voice broke, raw and quivering with the intensity of your pain. "For a century, I loved him, Az. A century! And for what? To be discarded when his real mate shows up? What does that make me? Just a placeholder? I'm worthless, Az. If he couldn't even love me, who will?"

"No, Y/N, that's not true—" Azriel began but you cut him off again. Your hands pushing against his shoulders trying futilely to move the immovable.

"No, you don't get it!" Tears streamed down your face blurring your vision as you swung a punch. Your fist connecting weakly with his chest. He absorbed the blow with practiced ease. His expression pained more by your words than the physical contact. "Everyone has someone… Feyre has Rhys, Elain has Lucien now... and me? I'm alone. Utterly alone. Who could love someone so... so replaceable?" Your words tumbled out as a cascade of hurt and insecurity forgetting in your pain that Azriel himself had known the sting of unreciprocated feelings.

Azriel caught your wrists gently, stopping your strikes. His gaze intense, a mix of pain and resolve flickering in his eyes. "Y/N, listen to me," he implored. His tone firm yet tender. "I understand more than you know. I've felt that loneliness. That fear of being unloved and replaceable. But you, Y/N, you are not replaceable to me. You’re invaluable. You’re loved deeply by those who truly know you, even if you can't see it right now."

Your resistance faltered with tears spilling over as his words washed over you revealing his own vulnerabilities. You sagged against him, your energy spent, your sobs muffled against his chest. Azriel didn’t just offer comfort. He shared your grief, understanding it from his own unspoken heartaches.

"Because you mean everything to me," he whispered, his voice barely audible over the wind. A confession laden with the weight of his own once-hidden feelings. "And I refuse to let you believe you're anything less than that." In his embrace you felt a sliver of solace pierce the veil of your despair. Perhaps you weren't as alone as you had believed. In the quiet of the night with Azriel, you dared to hope that your heart could find a way to mend.

As your sobs quieted into weary, shuddering breaths on the hillside, Azriel recognized the depth of your exhaustion and despair. With a care born of years spent navigating the shadows, he scooped you up into his arms. His strength a quiet reassurance in the enveloping darkness. You were too lost in your own misery to protest. Your body limp against his chest as he winnowed you both back to the sanctuary of his room.

Once inside Azriel carried you straight to the bathroom. The soft glow of candlelight casting gentle shadows across the walls. Setting you down with the utmost care he turned on the tap letting cool water fill the basin. With a tenderness that contrasted sharply with his usual stoicism, he soaked a soft cloth, wringing it out gently before turning to you.

"You're safe here, Y/N," he murmured. His voice low and soothing as he began to dab at your face. Each gentle touch wiped away streaks of makeup and tears revealing the raw vulnerability beneath. His hands were steady and careful. Moving with a respect that honored your brokenness without making you feel more fragile.

Seeing you so shattered, so utterly surrendered to your grief, stirred a protective tenderness in him. After he had cleaned your face he helped you out of your clothes and into his own. Each movement was respectful and patient. His eyes averted to give you privacy even in your despondent state. He chose a soft shirt and loose pants. Clothes that would comfort rather than constrict. When you were dressed he guided you to his bed with his arm around your waist both a support and a shield. The world seemed to quiet as he tucked you under the covers.

You lay there, a small, fragile form in the vastness of his bed with your eyes staring blankly at the shadowed ceiling. Azriel hesitated, watching you with a mix of concern and a poignant ache to ease your pain. Unable to bear the distance, he lay down beside you. His body a careful line of warmth at your side.

As you lay next to Azriel his presence enveloped you in a tenderness you hadn't fully seen before. The night around you was quiet, the only sound the gentle rustle of the wind outside and your own unsteady breaths. Azriel's room was usually a place of solitude and shadows. It felt different now. Warmer, filled with a quiet strength and a palpable gentleness that radiated from him.

"Let it all out, Y/N," he whispered next to you. His voice was a soft command in the darkness, soothing and deep. His hand found yours under the blankets, his fingers intertwining with yours. You felt a sob rise again. The emotions overwhelming.

He didn't shush you or tell you to be strong. Instead, he squeezed your hand tighter. His grip a lifeline in the turmoil you felt. His presence was a vow of steadfastness. A promise not spoken but felt deeply.

Lying beside him, you realized you had never seen Azriel so openly gentle and caring. His usual reserve and cool demeanor were replaced by an earnest tenderness. It was as if the night had peeled back a layer of his persona revealing the depth of his empathy and the true extent of his kindness. This wasn't the Spy Master known to most. The one that was cold and calculating, always in the background. This was Azriel as only someone he truly cared for might see him. His kindness wasn't just an act of comfort. It was a testament to his genuine concern for you. To love you when you felt most unlovable. To be there in every low and hold you through every shadow.

"I'm not going anywhere," Azriel continued, his voice barely above a whisper. "You are loved, deeply. Even when it feels like you're alone. You are important to me. More than you could possibly know."

With Azriel's words wrapping around you like a gentle embrace you allowed yourself to believe, if only for a moment, that you might one day feel whole again. His kindness, his unwavering support reminded you that even in your most broken moments you were not alone.

Azriel didn't rush you or demand that you compose yourself. Instead, he simply held your hand throughout letting the quiet solidarity of his presence anchor you back from the tempest of your grief. As the emotional exhaustion of the day's events caught up with you, your eyelids grew heavy with the weight of sleep tugging them down.

With Azriel's fingers interlaced with yours and his calm breathing next to you, a profound fatigue began to blanket your senses. It was the kind of tiredness that came from having wept thoroughly and being in the presence of someone who demanded nothing of you but to be yourself. Slowly, the room around you seemed to fade away as you drifted into sleep. The echoes of your turmoil quieting into silence under the protective watch of the Shadowsinger.

As the first rays of dawn began to filter through the curtains you stirred, slowly emerging from the restless grasp of sleep. Your body felt heavy. Each movement laden with the remnants of last night’s despair. As you shifted, trying to orient yourself, you realized you were entangled with Azriel. His arms loosely draped around you, his body a protective barrier against the chill of the morning.

Opening your eyes fully, you met his gaze—alert, intense, yet filled with a softness that was reserved only for moments like this. He had been watching you. His eyes tracing the lines of worry and sadness that had settled on your face even in sleep.

The memory of last night's breakdown. The raw pain, the tears, the desperate words, rushed back in vivid clarity. You were suddenly mortified. The intensity of your vulnerability making you feel exposed and small. You tried to pull away, intending to escape the intimacy and your own mortification. But Azriel’s arms tightened instead, gently but firmly keeping you in place. You faced him, cheeks burning, and your words stumbled out in a flustered rush.

"Az, I... I'm just so—sorry," you stammered as if the words tripping over each other. "For hitting you, and—everything. I wasn’t... I shouldn’t have..."

He was quiet for a moment. His gaze steady and understanding. When he finally spoke, his voice was low and calm, cutting through your babble of apologies with effortless precision. "No apologies," he said simply. His eyes locked on yours conveying depth beyond words. "It’s okay."

"But I lost control, and I—," you tried again. Your voice a tangled whisper of regret and embarrassment.

Azriel gently shushed you with a slight shake of his head. "You needed to let out," His tone left no room for argument. "I’m here. That’s what matters."

Your attempts to articulate the mess of emotions felt cumbersome and inadequate compared to his succinct reassurance. You swallowed hard. Your next breath shaky as you tried to reconcile the kindness in his actions with the turmoil you felt inside. The warmth of his embrace, the quiet strength in his few words, slowly coaxed the walls around your heart to lower. His acceptance was simple and unwavering. It granted you the space to be vulnerable without the burden of judgment.

"You're here," you spoke softly. A statement rather than a question. You allowed yourself to lean back against him, finding a measure of peace in the security his presence offered. In the quiet that followed his steady breathing became a reassuring rhythm in the soft light of dawn, anchoring you amidst the remnants of last night’s storm.

As you settled deeper into Azriel's embrace, comforted by the warmth of his body and the protective enclosure of his wings around you profound sense of security enveloped you. His wings isolated you from the chaos of the world and allowed the weight of your troubles to recede momentarily.

Within this intimate cocoon Azriel's hands gently soothed you, tracing calming patterns along your back and occasionally running his fingers through your hair easing away the knots of both stress and sadness. This gentle touch, combined with the protective embrace of his wings, invited a deeper relaxation and a fleeting peace.

"You're safe here," Azriel whispered. His voice a soft rumble that was both reassuring and grounding. "You will always be safe with me."

His words were simple yet deeply meaningful. They comforted you, encouraging a slow, steadying breath as each word seemed to ease a little more of your turmoil. Surrounded by his presence the room no longer felt like just a physical space but a sanctuary against all your fears and uncertainties.

As Azriel offered a rare comfort his mind was awash with thoughts and feelings for you. He had always admired your strength, your grace, and the kindness that seemed to illuminate your every action. Even when you were with Lucien he had noticed how your presence could soften the hardest of hearts and brighten the darkest corners. His feelings had been kept hidden. A secret shadowed beneath his stoic exterior as you had seemed unreachably intertwined with someone else.

Azriel's interest in Elain initially served as a safe distraction from confronting the deeper, more intense feelings he had for you. Now with the situation having changed and the possibility of being more than just friends emerging. He realized that his feelings for Elain had been a way to guard his heart against the more daunting prospect of a deeper connection with you. Recognizing this, Azriel was determined to be patient. He understood the importance of timing and your need to heal. He knew that any possibility of exploring something deeper with you would require careful consideration and respect for your emotional state. Thus, he was prepared to wait. He would offer his support and presence as you navigated your path to recovery, hoping that when you were ready, he might have a chance to express his true feelings.

In this quiet moment as dawn's light began to seep through the curtains, Azriel made a promise to himself for you. He would be there for you not just as a protector or a friend, but as someone who loved you deeply. Even if that love must remain unspoken for now. He would help you heal, support you in finding yourself again, and offer his love silently, unwaveringly, during the times you found it hardest to love yourself.

"Whatever comes next, I'm here. We'll face it together," he murmured. His voice a soft echo in the quiet room. This promise was not just a commitment to support you through your healing but a silent acknowledgment of his hopes for the future. A future where, when you were ready, he might share his heart openly with you. For now, though Azriel would be your steadfast shadow, a silent guard to you with a love profound yet patient. Waiting for the moment when your heart could welcome the depth of his.

As the morning stretched lazily into afternoon, the quietude of Azriel's room was punctuated only by the soft, rhythmic breathing of you resting against him. The previous turmoil had ebbed away leaving a calm that hadn't been felt in a long while. In this peaceful interlude you slipped back into a deep, restorative sleep, cradled by the warmth of Azriel and the secure embrace of his wings.

While you slept Azriel carefully extricated himself to prepare a simple yet thoughtful meal. He moved quietly, his shadows flitting about, almost as if they were checking on you. Ensuring that your slumber was undisturbed. He returned with a plate bearing a light lunch.

As the soft light of the afternoon filtered through the curtains you slowly awoke from the deep, restful sleep. You had been vaguely aware, even in slumber, of their comforting presence. Something that went beyond Azriel's physical proximity. It was his shadows, those silent watchers that typically hovered at the fringes, manifesting his will, and echoing his moods.

These shadows which normally adhered to Azriel’s strict commands with unwavering discipline, had over time, subtly changed their behavior around you. It started with small gestures—shifting slightly to cloak you in warmth when a cool draft swept through the room, or playfully fluttering around when your spirits were low, trying to elicit a smile. Gradually they had begun to act almost independently when it came to you. They were drawn to your innate warmth and light. The same qualities that Azriel himself cherished deeply in you.

As you stirred awake, stretching and yawning, the shadows seemed to mimic the morning’s embrace. Azriel watched from beside you with a slight smile playing on his lips as his shadows caressed your arms and legs. They were reluctant to withdraw their gentle touch even as you became more alert. He made a subtle gesture, a silent command for them to give you some space, expecting immediate compliance as always.

To his surprise and slight amusement, the shadows hesitated. They lingered around you. Their formless caresses a tender contradiction to their usual stark obedience. When you noticed their reluctance to leave you couldn’t help but to giggle. The shadows seemed to flutter with a visible delight, moving closer as if encouraged by your laughter.

"It’s okay, Az," you said. Smiling at the unusual scene. "I don't mind them, really. I actually quite like them."

At your words the shadows almost appeared to swoon, swirling around you with what could only be described as affectionate enthusiasm. Azriel watched this with a raised eyebrow and an ever-widening smile, clearly amused by their outright defiance when it came to you.

"They're not usually this defiant... or affectionate," Azriel remarked. His voice tinged with both bemusement and a hint of pride. "Seems they've taken quite a liking to you."

You watched the shadows swirl around with a playful grace. Their cool touch leaving a trail of goosebumps on your skin. Smiling, you responded, "The feeling's mutual." At your words, one of the shadows playfully swooped up mimicking a kiss on your cheek.

The whimsical gesture drew another giggle from you, a sound so light and joyful that it seemed to brighten the entire room. Azriel watched you with a deep warmth filling his heart as your laughter echoed softly. The sound so rarely heard in your despair was so full of life and free from the burdens you had been carrying, It was a melody he hadn't realized he'd been longing to hear. It reminded him of the resilience and beauty within you, qualities he had always admired now shimmering through even in your laughter.

Azriel’s gaze softened as he watched you interact with his shadows. The corners of his eyes crinkling with genuine delight. It was rare for him to see his shadows disobey but in this instance he found the situation endearing rather than concerning. The shadows, so attuned to his deepest feelings perhaps recognized the special place you held in his heart and chose to express their fondness in the only way they knew how.

As you continued to enjoy the playful affection from the shadows, Azriel leaned back, content to observe the bond forming between you and parts of his own essence. This moment, light-hearted and filled with laughter marked a significant turn in your relationship. It showed not only his own deepening feelings but also the unique acceptance of his shadows, making you a cherished presence in both his world and theirs.

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[patscorner]

FAMILY DINNER PART2

Summary: Chris joins your family for dinner for the first time and it does not go as planned

Tw: Swearing, physical altercation, mentions of blood, verbal arguing, panic attack mentions of alcohol use, mentions of ed, lmk if I missed something

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The rest of the dinner was just as awkward as you'd thought it'd be. You can't really come back from your father implying you and your boyfriend just fucked in the bathroom of your childhood home, at the first family 'reunion' in 2 years.

So there you sat, eating your food in silence, waiting -no- begging, that someone cut the tension.

And finally someone does. And as they say, careful what you wish for.

"How many plates have you had, dear?" Your mom asked, looking up from her plate. You look back at her, before glancing at your plate and back to at her again.

"This is my second." You say, mouth full of food. You were thankful that people took your mother's talking as an invitation to also continue their conversations.

"Maybe we should slow down, you know? Save room for dessert, which you clearly don't need." She smiles, as if what she said was the best piece of advice she'd ever given anyone.

Her comments always bothered you, no matter how much you were told to ignore them. But when it came to your weight, it hurt the most. The comments were the worst in high school, as you were a little heavier than the average petite high schooler. But it was never as serious as your mom made it. So when you were a sophomore in high school, you developed an eating disorder, where you couldn't eat even if you tried, where you spent hours crying in front of the mirror, wishing you were skinnier to fit your mother's impossible expectations.

You fought that battle for years, 3 years to be exact. Your mom couldn't help because she saw nothing wrong with what you were doing. She would say, 'It's worth it.' And when you're young, you tend to believe everything your parents say because they'd 'never hurt you.' So after you moved out, Chris helped you get help, and you won your long and cruel battle. Obviously, you still have your days and your moments, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it used to be. Not with your new family. People who actually cared.

"S'cuse me?" You say, your voice laced with agitation.

"Well, honey, you don't want to get fat again, do you?" She said, shoveling broccoli into her mouth.

You had stopped chewing completely, making sure you heard her correctly. You looked over at Chris, who was looking at your mom with his jaw clenched. You look back at your mom and out your hand on Chris's thigh as to tell him to relax.

You felt him put his hand over yours and squeeze, a symbol of reassurance.

You sit back in your seat, looking at your plate in defeat. Guess you were done for the night. But your dad wasn't. In fact, your dad was drunk.

"Oh, honey, leave her alone. She's not nearly as huge as she used to be." He slurred, taking another sip from his beer.

"Okay, this isn't neces-" you start, only to be cut off by your parents. Shocker.

"What do you mean? I mean, look at her, David. She's just as big as she was in high school." You mom says gesturing to you.

Your heart dropped, anger and embarrassment filling your veins. "What the fuck, mom?!" You cry out. "Not only is that something you shouldn't say about people, especially your fucking kid, but I'm also right in front of you. At least have some decency to shit-talk me in private." You remove your hand from your boyfriends lap.

Your mom looks at you in shock, and your dad squints at you. "Woah, woah, relax dear. It's not only your fault. You can't help it." She said, reaching for your hand.

You pull your hand away, a look of disgust covering your face. "I don't want to hear that, mom, why's my weight always been a big fucking obsession of yours?" You snap. You feel Chris's hand on your thigh, which you push off quickly. Usually, when you're angry, the last thing you wanted was to be touched.

"It's not my fault. You were huge. I was trying to help you. Nobody wants a pig as their bride, y/n." She spits. Her words feel like daggers, stabbing into your heart.

"You weren't trying to help. You were doing this for yourself. You never cared about it. You only did it because it made you look good to have skinny, petite children. I'm not you or any of them." You gesture to you siblings. The conversations had stopped by now, all of them watching as you and your parents bickered. Embarrassing. "You're a selfish bitch, who never cared about anybody else but herself a-"

"Hey! You watch how you speak to your mother!" Your dad stands up, and instinctively, so did you and your siblings. James and Peter were the first up, while Julia walked over and made sure Maya wasn't in the room.

Nick, Matt, and Chris all stood up too, but they weren't sure what to do, which you would've found funny, but considering the circumstances...

"Let's all relax, okay." Peter attempts to butt in. He's always been so soft-spoken, but if he needs to, he'll beat the shit outta someone. You knew what he was capable of. You'd seen it when your first boyfriend cheated on you.

Your dad directed his attention to Peter. "You shut the fuck up. You have no room to speak because you're a sorry excuse for a son." He drunkenly pointed at Peter.

"You're talking. You can't even see straight half the time, let alone be eligible to give advice." James, your younger brother spits.

Ah, you'd taught him well.

"You watch your mouth before I knock you the fuck out." Your dad spits, and that seems to shut James up. It breaks your heart knowing your father hadn't changed, and when you left, probably laid hands on your younger siblings. And it appears as though Peter's heart broke, too.

Peter stepped closer to your dad, with the same face of anger you'd seem many times before. "You hit them too, Dad? After what you promised!?" He said, his voice raised.

It was all too much. There are too many memories, too many flashbacks. There are too many similarities of past events.

"O-okay, Peter, relax." You attempt, knowing how fast this could escalate. You hold Chris's hand and squeeze tightly.

"Yeah, listen to the pig, Peter." Your father gritted his teeth.

"With all due respect, sir, I'm gonna need you to stop calling your daughter a pig." You hear an unexpected voice. Chris.

Your dad whips his head, staring at Chris with his eyebrows raised, unimpressed. Little did he know, Chris played hockey, and his brothers, who wouldn't hesitate to jump in, also played hockey.

"Chri-" You start.

"No, no, I'd like to hear what he has to say." Your father mocks.

"No! No, please let's just sto-" you get cut off again.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, Y/N." Your dad yells, taking very quick steps to you.

Chris stood in front of you, Peter and James behind your father.

"Move." He growled at Chris.

Chris sucked his teeth, with fake disappointment on his face. "Sorry, can't do that one, sir."

Your dad huffed, allowing Chris to smell every sip of alcohol he'd drunk. "Move." He stated again.

Chris shook his head. "That's my daughter! Get the fuck out of the way, tough guy."

Chris cocked his head. "Really, because based off what I've seen, you sure don't talk to her like it." He spoke, his voice calm, but stern.

That was it. Your dad snapped. He swung his fist, hitting Chris in the nose. "Dad! What the fuck!" You say.

You watch as Chris doubles over, holding his nose, followed by yelling from everyone in the room. You can't understand anything, but you do know that your dad's got his hands around your collar and is holding you close to his face.

You feel the tears start to fall as the scent of alcohol burns your nose. "You're a little bitch, letting this puny excuse of a man speak to me like that."

"Let her go, dad!" James screamed, followed by Peter's yelling.

You look over and make eye contact with your mom. She stood there, arms crossed, not a single expression on her face. She just let it happen.

Your dad shook you. "LOOK AT ME." He shouted in your face. You closed your eyes, as tears began to fall.

"CHRIS NO!" Nick yells. That's all you hear before you dropped. You didn't realize he was choking you until he let go. You look up and see Chris on top of your dad, landing blows like he if were in a hockey game. Your dad got a few heavy punches in, too, as you expected.

Chris had a bloody nose, a bloody lip, and crimson knuckles. Blood stained his big hands, and you couldn't tell if it was his or your father's.

Matt and Nick finally managed to push Chris out of the house, leaving you and your family. Your dad was still screaming drunk profanities, while James made sure you were okay. Peter and your mom held your dad back from chasing your boyfriend.

You had walked out of the dining room and went to sit on the stairs. Tears streamed down your face as you felt yourself slip into a familiar but unfamiliar trance. You were completely unaware of your surroundings at this point, so lost in your brain that the rest of your body was just frozen.

You don't know how long you are disassociating for, but you heard muffled shouting until you didn't. The yelling was replaced with ringing, something your brain did as a coping mechanism, mostly when you were young and hiding with your siblings in the bathroom while your dad trashed your home.

"-aby, can you take a deep breath from me?" You look up, but your vision is blurred, and you can't make out who's speaking - or anything for that matter.

You blink slowly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. It usually took you a while to come back to reality during these moments.

"Can someone get her a cup of water?" You hear the voice again, and despite your yearning to speak, you can't get any words out. Your mouth opens, and you try to speak, but it comes out more of a choked whine.

"Shh, I know, sweetheart, it's okay." Chris wipes the tears coming for your cheeks. Your pupils were enlarged, and your eyes were open, but you couldn't see.

"Thank you." Chris muttered as Matt handed him a cup of ice water. "Here, baby." He put his hands in the icy water, shaking them, so his hands are damp. He took your hands, which had a death grip on your hoodie, and rubbed his cold fingers over your knuckles.

You focused on the feeling of his frigid fingers and you felt yourself coming back to reality.

You blink quickly as more tears fall. "Aw ma, don't cry, it's okay, sweetheart." Chris coos, placing his hands on your hips, rubbing his thumbs on the bone.

His attempts to ground you are successful, as your eyes finally focus on his eyes. "Hey, hey, you coming back to me, baby?" Chris asks, his voice soothingly attempting to comfort you.

You nod absent-mindedly, relief flooding your body as you come back to reality.

You take in your surroundings for the first time in what felt like forever. You're sat on the stairs, your hands shaking from the adrenaline flowing through your veins.

You finally make eye contact with Chris, his eyes full of love and worry. He's got a bruise on the side of his face, a busted lip, and blood falling from his nose, smeared on his upper lip.

"Chris..." you say, cupping his face, rubbing his cheeks down to his lip, frowning when he winced. "Baby..."

He pulls away, chuckling lightly. "It's fine, baby, I'm okay. I just wanted to make sure you were safe." He squeezed your hips in reassurance.

"I'm okay." You say. But then your mind screams at you. "Fuck, where's Maya... an-and, James. Oh, fuck, what about Julia and Pet-" your cut off by Chris's lips on yours. You sigh into the kiss, your hands trailing down his neck.

He pulls away and smiles sadly. "Thank you." You whisper, looking down. "Anytime, baby. I'm so sorry. God, I'm so fucking sorry." He said, leaning his forehead on yours.

You shake your head. "It's okay, he's a fucking asshole." Chris kisses your cheek. "Let's get outta here? I made a little bit of a mess."

You raise your eyebrows. "A little?" Chris kisses his teeth and scoffs.

You smile and kiss his cheek. "Anybody would've done it, Chris. It's okay, really." You speak softly.

Chris smiles and helps you up. "Let's go home." He leads you down the stairs and reaches for the door.

But it opens before he can open it.

"Oh my god."

______________________________

(Man, I wonder who that is)

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[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

A Surprise^**

Hello friends, thank you so much for your patience. I ended up having quite a disastrous day and it took longer to finish editing! But here is the one shot based off of this request. Hope you like it!

Warnings: TW! abusive partner: mentions of love-bombing, gaslighting/accusations of infidelity, verbal arguments, intimidation tactics (psychological and physical), physical altercation between M/F ( described, but more intimidating than violent or aimed to hurt), physical altercation between M/M (not described but the aftermath is mentioned, bloody nosy type of thing), mentions of law enforcement and law enforcement processes. Mentions of sex, unprotected sex, oral (M/F receiving), fingering, unplanned pregnancy, ultrasound procedure.

WC: 18.2K

You were nervous as you rode up in the elevator. You weren’t claustrophobic or anything, so the feeling of it closing in on you was one you had no idea how to deal with. You were trying to keep your breathing as calm as possible and clearing your head of any irrational or negative thoughts, but it was truly a challenge. It had been a nearly a year since you and Harry had been in any space together and it was nerve-racking. What was originally supposed to be a month or two-long break, turned into all this time and distance. He said he wanted to talk and get some closure, which you thought was bull shit, and that’s why you were so nervous.

Before “the break” you and Harry had been dating for four years. Things had been going really well up until he started getting antsy to work again. You’d moved to London for him and now that he was finally “off” you saw that he was jumping into the next thing he could. You understood that he felt like he needed to do something with his time but soon enough he was back in the studio for hours at a time while you just hung out at his house. You lasted a year like that before you told him that you couldn’t do it anymore. You felt lonely in your relationship with him and you saw that he wasn’t ready to slow down and settle a bit like he said he was before. That was the whole reason why you’d even moved to London for him. So when you suggested a little time apart to have him sort through his priorities he freaked out on you. But the following morning the tune was different, he was more open to this idea of taking some time apart.

You had assured him over and over again that you loved him but that you were ready for the next step and he clearly wasn’t. He then assured you that you were the love of his life and that he’d take a month or two to just tie up all the loose strings with his current project and then focus back on your relationship. You even went back home to LA to give him all the space he needed. You checked in with each other a lot but when the two months were up you reached out and didn’t get a response back until two weeks later. Much to your dismay it was just an “I’m sorry.” And with tears in your eyes you just deleted the entire messaging feed you had with him.

A few months later you were back on the dating scene. One of your co-workers set you up with her cousin, Steven. He came off as sweet, smart, and mature. He mostly had his shit together from what she’d said and you had seen, so you gave him a real chance. Yeah, he was no Harry, but no one would ever equate to Harry, so you stopped comparing and got to know him for who he was. Soon enough you’d started to develop more feelings for Steven, he showered you in attention and time and affection, it was almost too much, you thought. But then you recalled that things had been so cold with Harry towards the end that maybe you just weren’t used it anymore. It wasn’t love-bombing, it was just a man who is interested in showing you what you meant to him. After two months of seeing him casually you started talking about the future, about starting a real, committed relationship. You talked about properly meeting each other’s families and taking serious steps forward, you were gearing up to properly move on with someone who clearly prioritized you! And then Harry called. 

He was jealous, you heard it in his voice when he called, but the fact that he was jealous pleased you in a way. Honestly, you thought you’d be so well off that when you spoke to him you’d feel above him somehow, but when you heard his voice your heart ached with longing and your small victory suddenly made you feel a bit sadistic. He then asked to see you to get some closure and you quickly agreed because you needed it too. But that’s how you ended up at his hotel just an hour later. So far you were just standing there at his hotel door just taking each other in. Quite frankly, you were just pleased you had made it out of the elevator alive. But it felt like it’d been ages and no time at all at the same time, your heart was racing in the confines of your chest, making it hard to breathe once again. It made you so happy, but hurt your heart at the same time to see him. It was so confusing, feeling relief and joy and disappointment all at the same time. 

“You look great.” He complimented you after a few moments of staring.

“Oh! Thanks.” You smiled timidly, “H-how are you?”

“I’m alright. Come on in.” He said moving aside and you wandered in. You sat at the couch in his suite as he headed to the kitchenette.

“Can I offer you some water or tea?” He asked.

“No, I’m alright.” You assured and he nodded before coming over to sit near you on the couch. You sat in silence for a few moments again before he chuckled in slight disbelief and shook his head.

“I can’t believe you’re actually here.” He confessed with a shake of his head.

“Me either.” You chuckled a bit humorlessly. He had wronged you…the only thing that you knew about him right now was that he did not love you as much as he said he did. If he did he wouldn’t have left you hanging like he had. “I guess I just…needed to see you one more time. I don’t think that we left off on a good note so-”

“Exactly. That’s why I wanted to see you.” He said leaning forward and taking your hand and your facade of stoicism and ease melted away immediately. The hurt from his actions just came to the surface and made a pang of pain ripple from your chest all the way out to your fingertips, you swore even your scalp hurt as his eyes met yours apologetically.

“Harry, it’s almost been a year.” You pointed out and he frowned.

“I know, love.” He confirmed, “And I haven’t even tried t-to apologize since that text I sent you.” He said and your eyes started welling up. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I just…I got scared that if I took that step forward with you it meant that my work was gone.” He explained and you scoffed.

“Harry, no! When I asked you to slow down that’s all I meant. Slow down, not stop! I’d never tell you to stop.” You sighed, exasperated and upset that he even thought that you’d ever make him stop doing what he loved most, “I just wanted you to slow down a little and enjoy your life for yourself. Spend time with your mom and your sister and your cousins and nieces and nephews!” You vented, “W-with me.” You added towards the end and he nodded in understanding. “What you do with your work matters to me. I see how happy it makes you. And I don’t think I’ve ever done anything to make you feel like you couldn’t be honest with me about your priorities.” You said and he shook his head.

“You didn’t. I should’ve talked to you about it all, Y/N. I know I fucked up, big time, but I love you and-”

“No you don’t…” you interrupted with a scoff as you pulled your hand away from his, “You’re just jealous because I’m ready to move on with someone else now.” You said to him and he glanced up at the ceiling and smiled sadly.

“Yeah, of course I’m fucking jealous!” he confessed through a pained, breathy laugh, “And I still love you and whether you believe it or not because of my previous actions, I respect you and you deserve an apology. That’s why I wanted to see you.” He explained as his eyes met yours again, “I know that I’ve lost you, Y/N.” He said sadly, “Believe me, I didn’t come to try and talk you out of that decision. I just wanted to tell you, in person, that I love you with my whole heart. I should’ve fought for you. You showed me so much love and gave me all of your care and support all the time! I shouldn’t have been scared t-to talk about it. I shouldn’t have let you go.” He explained, “I’m going to have to live with that for the rest of my life, Y/N. I know that.” He sniffled and you wiped your tears carefully. “I just needed you to know that it’s not anything you did. I love you, even still, I think I’ll die loving you.” He said.

“Jesus, Harry…” you inhaled sharply before standing up quickly. You grabbed your purse from the coffee table and started rushing back to the door.

“Baby! Baby, baby, baby-” he rushed in front of you blocking the door, “J-just wait.” He sniffled, he looked panicked.

“Why should I?” You questioned him, “Why now?” You asked for clarity and he swallowed thickly, “You had this whole fucking time and now that I’m just about t-to forget about you, y-you show up and…” you trailed off as your anger boiled over and your tears started to trickle down your face more heavily.

“Y/N, I’m sorry-” He started.

“Y-you better not be trying to manipulate me!” You warned, your voice raised in accusation and he shook his head.

“I know it might seem that way b-but I’m not, love. I’m not looking for anything from you, I know I don’t deserve it. I just needed t-to see you and apologize to you and tell you how I feel before you wouldn’t entertain the idea of me in your presence ever again. And I know you probably hate me so much right now-” He explained and you inhaled sharply with a disappointed shake of your head.

“That’s the stupidest fucking part of this whole thing! I-” you stopped and shook your head, “I felt so happy when I heard from you.” You confessed, “And I still have so much love for you.” You sniffled and felt sick to your stomach just admitting it. You felt like an idiot for it.

You had gone over a very similar scenario in your head if not millions of times before while daydreaming or lying in bed. You dreamed of him coming back and apologizing and you having the strength to not come crawling back to him after whatever excuse he gave. Except you’d gotten it wrong. Harry wasn’t standing before you asking you to come back to him with an underlying arrogance that came with knowing that your love was enough to have you come back to him. He was actually just coming to be accountable for his mistakes and to apologize to you for hurting you. He came with humility and sincere repentance for his errors, no ulterior motives. And well, you weren’t nearly as strong as you thought you’d be by now.

“Oh, baby…” he sighed, “I don’t deserve it.” He recognized, “And I know that you’re happy.”

“I am.” You sniffled.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel confused, I really didn’t want that. I really just wanted to make things as right as I could after all this time.”

“Thank you.” You responded and he gave you one firm nod. “I think I should go.” You said and he glanced into your eyes and just waited for a moment and when you didn’t waiver he exhaled and moved out of your way to let you leave.

You reached for the door and opened it up before stepping out into the hall, pulling it shut behind you as you cried quietly as you walked back to the elevator, what seemed like a trap before now felt like your much needed escape. You were just about to step inside when you glanced back down the hallway at his door, questioning if you’d been too harsh. After all, you did miss him and you still loved him…you’d definitely regret not giving him a hug goodbye or even just confirming to him that you forgave him. So with all the strength you had, you ignored that pull to return to him and got inside and left. It was time to move on.

****************

You’d been quiet and in your head all afternoon. Internalizing everything you were feeling was weird because you were never one to just let things brew in silence. You had to talk about it and your best friend was back in the UK and she had an important work thing in the morning so you couldn’t interrupt and you just wanted to talk to someone who would be 100% real with you. You decided to just distract yourself until stopped by for dinner, surely his company would provide an adequate distraction.

But even when Steven arrived you found yourself ruminating on how awkwardly you’d left Harry. You certainly got what you needed but you were out of there so fast that you had no idea if he got the closure he needed from you and now you felt bad! That’s what you were thinking about, but your silent and pensive demeanor had Steven feeling iced out which he did not like. So after sitting in your little living room on his phone for half an hour in complete silence as his football game droned on, on the TV he figured he’d just ask you.

“Babe, are you upset at me?” He finally asked as he came into the kitchen. You were just grating some carrots into the salad you were making for dinner.

“No.” You assured him with a small smile as you glanced up at him briefly.

“Well, you’ve been oddly quiet since I got here. More than half the time I’m wishing you’d just shut up for five minutes but I don’t know anymore…it’s weird.” He joked, trying to make light of the situation. But upon hearing that your brows pinched in confusion and offense at his “joke”.

“That’s quite rude and not funny at all. I heard you turn on the game and you don’t like it when I talk to you when you’r watching so I just stayed quiet.” You mumbled a bit spitefully before going back to grating and he came closer and placed a hand on your hip.

“Damn, you’re so sensitive, it was a joke.” He said mawkishly and your irritation continued blooming so you refused to look at him, “Y/N, you’re clearly in your head about something and now you’re taking it out on me.” He said and you sighed.

“I’m not taking anything out on you, Steven. I’m just thinking some stuff through.” You shared with him.

“Stuff like…?” He pressed.

“Like…my ex, Harry.” You said and he straightened up at the mention of Harry’s name.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He asked with a sardonic smile and you put down the carrot and glanced up at him.

“You asked.” You emphasized and he huffed out a sarcastic laugh, “I’m not done, so listen up because it’s good news for you.” You said and he clenched his jaw and nodded, “Well he’s in town and he asked to see me so we could talk,” You explained and Steven’s expression twisted into a disconcerting look, “so earlier I met up with him and we talked-”

“Wait.” He cut you off, “Why the hell would you think to go see your ex?” He asked you, fully offended over what you’d done this afternoon.

“I went to get closure! And well, considering we’ve been talking about starting a relationship in the near future it’s good for us that I just close that door for good.” You explained and he shook his head.

“And you didn’t think to tell me about this before you went there?”

“It happened so fast and I know you were meeting clients all day so I-”

“You should have at least asked if I was fine with you doing that!” He groaned with frustration and you frowned.

“Like…ask you for permission?” You asked and he shook his head.

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Y/N.” He snapped quickly.

“I’m not, I was asking for clarification. You said I should’ve asked if it was alright with you before going. Is that not asking for permission?” You asked and he sighed.

“Look, not permission but like…at least consider me! Like, have me be there so he doesn’t get any ideas.” He said and you looked at him like he was completely delusional.

“W-what?!” You asked in disbelief, “Why would I invite you into a conversation with me and my ex about our old relationship?” You questioned.

“Because, I need to make sure nothing weird is going on! And if you didn’t want me there, which you clearly didn’t, then you should’ve asked if I was cool with you going to meet him all alone! It makes me uncomfortable to think of you two alone.” He said and you were complete confused at his logic.

“And what if you said that no, I couldn’t go?” You asked.

“I would’ve said no and you would’ve not gone.” He rebutted confidently and you were in total shock, “You have no business talking to him again, Y/N.” He added and you sighed and shook your head in exasperation.

“I wanted answers and an apology, Steven. I am owed at least that! And he took responsibility. He was able to give that to me.” You said and he scoffed.

“You’re…you’re so fucking naive.” He said and you looked at him in confusion, “It’s a test. He was testing you! Testing you to see if you’re still loyal to him. Testing to see if he still has power over you! And guess what? By going there all alone the moment he called you up, you confirmed that for him. You confirmed that he still owns you!” He was speaking to you in the most belittling way. You felt your rage flaring up inside of you.

“What are you even saying?!” You scoffed in disbelief, “It was just a conversation! I was in and out of there in less than 10 minutes!” You laughed incredulously.

“10 minutes? Really? That alone fucked you up so much you couldn’t talk to me?” He asked with a sardonic look on his face and you rolled your eyes, “See now, I’m not so sure that something else didn’t happen between you two.” He soft-launched his accusation and you scoffed.

“Nothing happened! I’m telling you that he said what he needed to say and I just left!” You explained, “I’m just thinking on it because I don’t feel right about just having left like that.” You explained, “It was awkward, the way I handled it. I didn’t even ask him if he had any questions for me or anything else to say, I was selfish. I just got the apology I needed and that was that.” You said a bit sadly and his jaw clenched for a second before biting down on the inside of his cheek.

“You promise that was it?” He asked you after a few moments of silence.

“I promise! Literally we just talked.” You reiterated and he nodded.

“Fine. I’m sorry.” He said grumpily, like a child who is dying inside because they had to apologize. You imagined he was feeling a bit ashamed or even embarrassed for jumping to conclusions like that and being so off the mark. So you walked up to him and hugged him tight as you rested your head against his chest. You relaxed in his arms and smiled when you felt his hand grab your jaw and angle up your face. Your eyes met for a few tense seconds, you were preparing for him to ardently kiss you but suddenly his hand fell from your jaw and grabbed around your throat, right beneath your jaw. Your eyes widened in fear as his grip got a bit tighter by the second. His eyes were dark as he stared into yours.

“S-steven.” You gasped in concern as you started to run out of oxygen. You tried to wiggle out of his grip, eyes watery and full of fear as your nails dug into his wrist hoping to startle him out of whatever possessed him to do this.

“I don’t want you talking to or seeing him again. Never again. Do you understand me?” He demanded and you felt your entire body just turn cold. You had no idea how to even react to this change in Steven’s demeanor so you just nodded. “You’re going to be mine soon and I need to know that I can trust you fully.” He said “I want to trust you. But can I? Can I trust you to stay away from him?” he asked and you nodded again, you’d do anything to get out of this situation, “Then say it. Swear to me.” He insisted darkly as he loosened his grip around you.

“I-I’ll never talk to him or see him again.” You whispered, “I swear.” You insisted with tearful eyes and he let you go before walking out of the kitchen silently. 

You grabbed onto the counter because your legs unexpectedly lost their strength. You were panting, struggling so hard to breathe as this entire interaction processed in your brain. You suddenly felt extremely nauseated as a wave of fear overcame you. You trembled wordlessly for a bit, feeling so devastatingly mortal. You’d never had such little power. You’d never felt so small. After a short, uncomfortable, and contemplative moment you grabbed the carrot you had been working on and got back to grating. You just had to take deep breaths and grate.

You were walking on egg shells for the remainder of the night, doing anything and everything to act as normal as possible and not bait him into another aggression. Meanwhile, he was genuinely chatting with you so casually, as if he hadn’t just grabbed you by the throat like that. It terrified you that he wasn’t acting, he was genuinely fine. You were questioning yourself now, wondering if there were signs you missed? Granted, you were now getting into more serious turf, but there was nothing that you’d seen before that indicated towards him ever behaving this way. Even as you lay in bed attempting to get some rest you just stared at your ceiling thinking about that moment. How dark his eyes looked…did you need to tell someone? It’s not like he’d actually hurt you…or threatened you…he just made you promise to stay away from Harry. There wasn’t even a mark on you. Who would believe you or what could you even do about it?

He sweetened up intensely after that though and it had your mind reeling. Even when you’d had sex earlier he had been so possessive. Normally, any type of sensual talk got you going but when he told you he was “going to make you his” as he finished it didn’t have the usual or intended effect, it made you feel uneasy and made you regret having slept with him after what had happened earlier on. You immediately hopped into the shower because you just needed to wash off the memory of him of on you. You held in your tears because you thought he would join you but he just called out a goodbye after some minutes. But even in your solitude you were practically frozen and emotionless. You’d never experienced him like that and it worried you, so you decided to talk to your friend about it.

*****************

You were nervous to talk to Marie about this because she was also his cousin, but you just needed to know if there was a history to Steven that you didn’t know yet. Maybe he’d done something like this before, just got aggressive and overly possessive with another partner? Or perhaps he’d been cheated on and severely overreacted because of his past hurt? But Marie’s sort of distant demeanor should’ve tipped you off that things were not going to be good with this conversation.

“Thanks for meeting me. I actually wanted t-to talk to you about something important.” You said as soon as the waiter left after bringing your drinks. “Something that happened w-with Steven.” You said and she pulled away from her straw.

“Look, you don’t need to tell me what happened, Y/N.” She interjected, “Steven already told me.” She said flatly and for a second her anger seemed just. You were glad she was angry at him for you. “And look I love you and you’re my friend, but quite frankly, I can’t believe you’d go and hook up with Harry after how good Steven has been to you.” She said and your jaw dropped in shock.

“W-wait what?” You asked incredulously.

“Don’t do that with me, Y/N. I know how weak you are for Harry.” She said and you shook your head, “I mean…I did warn Steven early on t-to be careful and take his time with you because you’d probably cave and run back to Harry.” She said and you frowned, “But after all this time? I mean Jesus, Y/N! The man pretended like you didn’t exist for almost a year! How little self respect do you have t-to allow him back in after everything?!” She questioned you with disappointment and a harsh judgement.

“Is that really what you think of me?” You asked her and she sighed.

“Look, I’m sorry for being so harsh but I love you and I’m angry at you for cheating on my cousin. He’s a good guy!” She defended her stance and you shook your head.

“I didn’t cheat on your cousin. We’re not even in an official or exclusive relationship so even if I had fooled around with Harry he has nothing to be upset over! He’s the one who hasn’t wanted to be exclusive yet!” You corrected and Marie smiled incredulously down at her drink, “You don’t have to believe me about Harry if you don’t want but believe this, Steven? He’s not a good guy.” You said and she looked up at you again fully offended.

“Y/N, look-”

“No, listen to me. I just need you t-to hear me out. Last night he…h-he grabbed me really hard by the throat and made me swear I would never talk to or see Harry again. He terrified me.” You confessed and her eyes didn’t even soften up, “I came t-to ask if maybe I’d struck a nerve by mistake, looking to justify how he behaved towards me but the fact that he got to you first and lied about what happened…that just confirmed to me that I want nothing to do with him. He’s a ticking time bomb and I refuse to be collateral damage.” You said as you stood from your seat.

“How dare you.” She said and stood as well and you shook your head. “You can’t just go around throwing accusations about someone like that! Especially about this sort of thing! It could ruin him, Y/N!” She said with a quiet and calculated rage.

“Believe what you want, but I want nothing to do with either of you ever again.” You said to her and walked off. When you sat in your car you were trembling with rage, you could not believe the last 24 hours of your life. You were just collecting yourself before taking off, you didn’t want to get on the road with that much anger flowing through your veins. You jumped in surprise when your phone started ringing loudly from your purse and you groaned and reached for it and when you saw Harry’s name on the screen you just felt a wave of comfort and then it turned into fear. You knew Steven wasn’t here but you couldn’t help but glance around your immediate surroundings before answering the call.

“Hello?” You spoke into the receiver tentatively.

“Y/N, I ummm, I need you to come down to my hotel right away if you can.” He said to you and you felt your stomach drop.

“W-why?” You asked him nervously.

“Your boyfriend broke into my suite and tried to attack me.” He said and you gasped. “Are you alright?” You asked instantly.

“Yeah, thankfully. But now h-he’s telling the officers that you put him up to this.” He said lowly, “Just come and we’ll sort this out.” He assured.

“Okay, I’ll be there soon.” You said and took off despite your heightened emotions.

Just before you arrived to Harry’s suite you saw a pair of officers guide Steven away down the hall in hand cuffs. He had a bandage over his nose and a busted lip. He barely held eye contact with you as they pulled him along. You rushed down the hall and hurried into the open suite more than relieved to see a paramedic only icing Harry’s hand while he talked to one of the officers looming over him.

“Oh my god, I’m glad you’re okay!” You exclaimed in relief and he stood right away and hugged you tight as you leaned into him and that’s when all of your emotions from even the night before caught up with you and you started to cry. 

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s alright. I’m alright.” He assured you lowly.

“Yeah, but sometimes you minimize things to not worry anyone so…” you reminded and he chuckled a little as you pulled back, “I’m so sorry about this, H. Sincerely. Genuinely! I-I can’t believe he went as far as pulling something like this.” You expressed, still quite flabbergasted at what had gone down. Harry rubbed over your back in comforting circles.

“It’s alright. I’m alright.” He assured you, “He’s worse off than I am.” He smirked a bit as he delivered this news.

“Oh, I saw.” You chuckled through your tears and he hummed. “You’re not gonna get into any trouble, are you?” You asked.

“No, love.” He assured you, “I acted in self-defense so we’re all clear there. He did give me a good scare though.” He said more seriously and you sighed. 

“This never should have happened…I just don’t get it where this came from? I swear, this is not at all like him! I’ve never seen him behave this way in the couple months we’ve been seeing each other. Even last night was just so out of character for how he’s always been towards me! And I’m not trying to make excuses for him. Clearly this is fucked-”

“Wait. What happened last night?” Harry asked you more seriously and you sighed and shook your head.

“Nothing, really.” You said to him and he gave you a look, not a scary one, just an insistent one. You sighed and shrugged, “Last night when I…when I told him we met up to talk and get closure he got really angry at me. Like, he was livid. It was truly an overreaction to me mentioning that I was really happy over having received that apology from you but that I felt like I had been awkward about it and left it weird with us.” You explained, “Then, he asked why I didn’t ask for permission t-to talk to you or see you or why I didn’t ask him to come with me? And I explained that I agreed to meet with you so that we could clear the air so that I could move on with him in peace and he accused me of fooling around with you.” You explained monotonously as you felt like you were there all over again, “I assured him we just talked and he then pretended like it was fine and apologized half-heartedly… and I went in to hug him but then it’s like a switch flipped.” You recounted what had happened, “I thought he was going t-to kiss me but he…” your voice faded out into an exhale, “H-he grabbed me so hard by the throat and made me swear that I wouldn’t see o-or talk to you ever again-”

“Miss?” One of the officers interrupted and you turned towards the officer as Harry released you just a bit. 

“Yes?” You asked softly.

“Can you elaborate more on this altercation?” He asked and you swallowed thickly.

“I don’t want to get anyone in trouble.” You said softly, eyes now laser focused on Harry’s dangling pendant as your vision started to blur with more building tears. You were scared more than worried about getting Steven into any more trouble and Harry could see that. “Love, look at me.” Harry insisted and you blinked rapidly as one of your tears trickled down your cheek before you looked up at him, “If he did anything to scare you, you need to report it.” He said, “He’s fucked as it is for this, he can’t do anything to you ever again. He won’t.” Harry assured you and you nodded.

You proceeded to explain what had happened and how he had grabbed you. You explained that you felt intimidated and frozen and unsure of what to do next after the altercation. You were asked why you didn’t call the police or make a report and you explained that you didn’t think there was anything to report. He hadn’t technically hit you or injured you. You had no visible marks on you or anything to prove this apart from the fear you’d been harboring ever since. But the officer informed you that even a forceful grab is considered assault in the sate of California. And that speaking to you that way, exerting any tactics to make you feel subdued or intimidated were also considered acts of aggression and intimidation that were reportable offenses. And after a few more questions and you assuring them that he had never done anything like this to you before they moved back to the situation with Harry. With police reports filed they went on their way and you offered to get Harry a new place to spend the rest of his trip.

**************

It was just a few hours later and you were sitting in your living room waiting for Harry to come out of the shower and for his lawyer to arrive. You felt awful for this whole thing with Steven, you really had no idea he was a psycho like this. Marie had actually tried calling you almost 20 times and had sent you about 15 texts asking you to call back and that she was sorry for not believing you earlier. You were still too angry at her to respond so you put your phone on “Do Not Disturb” and just focused on the TV and wondered if it was a good idea to have brought Harry to your home. You had found another place for him to stay but before you booked it he asked if it would be alright to use your guest room because he was concerned for your safety since Steven knew where you lived. 

His concerns were valid. And you knew that Steven was well connected and had several lawyer friends who you were sure could get him out on bail by the morning, so you agreed to let him stay. You just didn’t want to also put Harry in harm’s way again. You would never forgive yourself if Steven did anything to hurt him. All in all, none of this felt real, you felt like you were in an unhinged daytime soap episode just waiting for another tragedy to befall you and those in your life. You were so on edge that you flinched in fright when the doorbell rang. Once the shiver passed through your body you hurried over to see through the peephole and saw Harry’s lawyer waiting there.

“Hi Darius.” You greeted him with a smile and he smiled back upon seeing you as well. It’d been quite a while.

“Y/N! Wow!” He chuckled, “It’s so great to see you!” He greeted you happily as you led him inside.

“Likewise! I think Harry’s just finishing up his shower, he had quite the day.” You said as you locked up behind him and he sighed.

“Yeah. I’m so sorry to hear about that. But I’m glad he’s safe and that you’re also safe.” He assured you and you thanked him before guiding him over to the kitchen and allowing him to get set up while you went to grab the Coca-cola he’d requested. 

It was just a couple of minutes before Harry joined you two and caught up a bit with Darius before he got into the story of what happened. Harry was going to follow through on pressing charges and he was even more motivated to get it all done ASAP when he heard what Steven had done to you the night before. He wanted to give Darius his statement as well while it was fresh in his memory so that it matched up perfectly to what he’d told the police and so he started answering the questions while Darius recorded and took notes as well. But hearing it in detail for yourself made it all the more sinister for you. You weren’t even thinking about it all that deeply when you reached for Harry’s hand under the table and he paused and briefly looked at you.

“Sorry.” You mouthed and started to pull it away from him but he instead tangled your fingers together and kept talking.

You stayed at his side for the rest of the time until Darius left, assuring you both that he’d let you know as soon as any headway was made in this case. With a final farewell you were locking up behind him as Harry waited for you just a small distance away. You sighed and turned to him.

“I’m so, so sorry about this, Harry. If I had know that he would do something like this… I mean, I just shouldn’t have said anything to him about you or-”

“Hey, it’s not your fault. How were you supposed to know, love?” He asked as he grabbed your face gently, right under your jaw and you swallowed thickly and he quickly slid his hands down to your shoulders. “Shit, I’m sorry. I forgot.” He said and you shook your head.

“It’s alright. It’s still fresh.” You reminded and he sighed and shook his head.

“I’m sorry…if I had just come back to you when I was supposed to we wouldn’t be in this mess.” He said and you sighed.

“You weren’t happy though, I mean…you preferred to be alone all this time instead of back with me so…it was the right thing for you at the time.” You said to him.

“You forgive me though, right? For not…” he trailed off and you nodded.

“Yeah, H.” You assured him and he pecked your lips quickly.

“Thank you.” He said quietly.

“Of course.” You whispered back. Your lips still tingling from his quick kiss. 

“Sorry, I just needed to kiss you.” He said and you smiled slightly.

“I get it.” You assured him. “D-do you want to…sleep with me?” You asked with a little bit of hesitation.

“Yeah, love.” He said without a hint of a doubt, “Of course. I’m a bit shaken up myself.” He said and you nodded.

“C’mon then.” You said and grabbed his hand and guided him to your bedroom. You guys washed up and then cuddled into your bed. 

You faced each other silently, just looking at each other, taking each other in. You were telling each other you had missed each other with your shared, longing gaze, but you refused to touch. You both loved the static and electric feeling buzzing between your bodies far too much. It was masochism in its purest form. It hurt to be apart, you missed his vibe. His energy. His presence…Harry was a warm, little ball of light, even on his dark days. He was the kindest, most thoughtful person you’d been is fortunate to encounter. He was so hard on himself also, and you knew he was angry at himself right now. You didn’t want him to be though, you wanted him to be here with you and enjoying this reunion, however unfortunate the situation was that led to it. 

The amount of love you felt for him was impossible. As you laid in silence you smiled because you had truly missed the sound of his breathing. You inhaled his exhales, feeling more than grateful to be within his reach. You wanted to feel him on you, skin to skin. You shivered as you felt this intense love just surge through you.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” You said softly and sincerely. His eyes glanced down, averting from your gaze as he smiled in disbelief. “I mean it.” 

“Even after all this time?” He asked, “After everything I’ve done?”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t hurt by you.” You smiled and he chuckled, “But yeah, I still love you despite those things.”

“Enough to give me another chance?” He asked.

“I…I mean, yeah.” You chuckled nervously. “And I don’t know i-if I’m a complete fool for that?! But I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, baby. More so lately…” he said and you hummed.

“Why’s that?” You asked.

“Umm…I was cleaning out your side of things. Like to send ‘em back to you and I just…I found this little box in the corner on your side of the closet-”

“The memory box!” You exclaimed, remembering its existence.

“Yeah…I just got to see all of the wonderful things we’ve shared together. How you’ve been there for absolutely everything. You’ve never let me down.” He said softly, “And I just…felt like a total fool for dismissing that. Nothing feels the same without you, you’re the thing that just…tied everything together, you know? You made my heart feel…whole.” He explained, “When I say that I miss you that’s what I mean. I’ve been incomplete without you around, Y/N. I’ve been missing you from everything. I’m so sorry that I waited until I almost lost you to reach out to you…” he whispered with shame. You frowned and reached for his cheek

“Everything happens for a reason, honey.” You whispered, “I mean, I’m glad you came along at this time because you saved me from a potentially dangerous situation.” You said more solemnly.

“I’m glad I was here for this. May-maybe this is a…sign of sorts for you to come back home with me.” He said a bit carefully. 

Harry was nervous to bring this up to you but he really just didn’t want you staying anywhere near this man. He wanted to be certain that he could keep you safe, that he could protect you and ensure that you were never so easily in harm’s way again.  And on top of that, his love for you continued simmering lowly in the background, it had never gone out. He just fled out of fear and he regretted it so much. He had been selfish and didn’t realize it until far too late. It filled him with gratitude that you’d even hear him out for an apology, let alone give him another chance. A chance that he may have blown with this suggestion he’d just put out there.

“Ummm…I…I’m not sure w-what to say to that.” You responded honestly, “Like, my first instinct is to say yes.” You chuckled nervously and while he was relieved to hear that, he held off his excitement to hear what would come next, “But like you’ve acknowledged a couple times already, we’ve been apart for a while and I think we both hurt each other to some extent and I worry that…in jumping right back into where we left things off that we’ll forget about all of the issues that led to us breaking down instead of working through them.” You said and he hummed.

“Yeah, that’s extremely valid.” He responded, “And I guess I want this right now mainly because I don’t want you here all alone.” He explained, “I realize we have things to work through before we can get to where we were before all this. And I’m so willing to put in the work with you to get to that stage again. But right now I just want to ensure that you’re safe and far away from that prick, Steven. That’s my main concern as of now, baby.”

“Well thank you for worrying about me. I would love to leave with you but I don’t think it’d be a smart move.” You sighed.

“Even just for a few weeks until things cool off a bit? I can set you up somewhere else even.” He said and you bit your lip pensively.

“I’ll think about it.” You responded.

“Okay, that’s…that’s enough for me.” He whispered back.

***********************

It  was a couple weeks later when Steven finally showed up at your place. Obviously you had the locks changed, so his key didn’t work, which really angered him. And when you heard him shouting at you and pounding on the door, threatening to break in if you didn’t allow him in, you immediately called the cops as you had a restraining order filed against him. You also recorded everything this time as you tried to calmly coax him into leaving before they showed up. He was angry that Harry was pressing charges against him and he wanted you to talk him out of it. You knew better than to say anything about Harry’s case, so instead you asked Steven how he even got access to Harry’s location. Up until this point it was all speculation, you just assumed he grabbed the information off of your phone, that really was the only way. But there was no proof yet that this was a premeditated aggression on Steven’s end. So when he confessed to you that he searched for the information on your phone you were relieved and would submit that as further evidence to get a more strict order against him.

He refused to leave and the longer you didn’t let him in the angrier he got and even broke a window. Thankfully, the police were just arriving when this happened and they submitted an Emergency Protective Order, this was far more strict than the restraining order but that was really all they could do. You really didn’t feel safe anymore so the next morning you contacted your landlord and explained to her what had happened and let her know that you’d have to terminate your lease early for your safety. She was kind and didn’t make you pay the extra fee or even make you finish out a whole month, she just hoped you’d fine somewhere else soon. 

You contacted Harry and of course, he said you could stay with him for a little bit. You felt stupid for not just doing that to begin with like he had suggested. But the reality was that he had also hurt you and let you down and you were worried about what moving in together again so soon would do to impact your future. But for the time being this felt like the safest choice. Steven knew your friends and co-workers in the area thanks to Marie, so there was no one you could go to in LA that you felt he wouldn’t think of. It pained you to quit your job and pack up your life and go, but you needed to. Of course, Harry welcomed you with open arms and you were grateful to know that you were a whole continent and ocean away from LA right now. 

*****************

It had been three weeks of you living with Harry and things had been going well so far. You felt drained though, like completely fatigued from everything, you often felt this way when you were anxious or depressed so you prioritized reconnecting with your therapist from before right away. You were seeing her every week so far and were eager to see and feel the results of doing this deep and healing work after what had happened to you and Harry in LA. You also reconnected with a few friends and they were helping you network a bit to find a job. Harry assured you that he was more than capable to take care of you but you didn’t feel comfortable with that, especially since your romantic future together was still a bit up in the air.

You two were doing well, you were reconnecting as friends more than anything right now. Living with him was comfortable though, you had lived together before though, so you knew how to exist in the same space together. You soon noticed that just being in a situation that was familiar to you both was making you both more affectionate towards each other though, which you both had been working hard to keep at bay. Of course, the feelings were there, but having those little things that reminded you, you weren’t alone made you smile, like now…

“Baby, I’m home! Are you here?” Harry called as he came into the house.

“Yeah, I’m in the laundry room!” You called back over the rumble of the washing machine as you folded your laundry. Moments later he was coming into the small, warm room with a smile on his face.

“Hi, love! How was it today?” He asked as he came up to you and hugged you.

“It was good. I met with Poppy and her friend, Sheila, she’s the one who just started up her own tanner line or something and needs an accountant? She’s interested, so I’m meeting with her and her partner again her next week when she’s back from her vacation to see about the position.” You shared.

“That’s really good. Hopefully it pans out.”

“I hope so too.” You said as you dropped the t-shirt you were working on in the basket with folded laundry so that you could interlace your fingers as you clung to him.

“And like I said before though, no rush, okay? You’re doing plenty to help out here. And after everything else you’ve been through, taking it slow can’t hurt.” He added.

“Thank you. I really do appreciate that, H.” You smiled.

“Of course, love.” He hummed. You pulled back slowly and looked into each other’s eyes. “I’m really happy you’re here.” He reassured you.

“Thank you, baby.” You whispered.

“Baby?” He asked with a grin and you rolled your eyes and sighed.

“Well, I mean…you call me that, so…”

“It feels right, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.” You agreed with a smile.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” You whispered with a smile. He tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed your cheek.

“Can I kiss your for real?” He asked you quietly and you just nodded. Moments later your lips met in a tentative kiss. There was a little bit of hesitation at first but seconds later you were kissing with more depth. Your hands held his as he cupped your face tenderly as you continued to kiss. You’d kissed very quickly a handful of times since your arrival but nothing like this where you could feel yourself getting all hot and bothered by it.

“Baby…” you mumbled into the kiss.

“Right…sorry.” He hummed and let you go breaking the kiss abruptly and you chuckled as you blindly reached down your leg and finally grabbed the dryer sheet that was half hanging out of the dryer and tickling your leg. You crumbled it up and tossed it in the garbage bin just a few feel away from you before turning back and looking up to him.

“You can continue now.” You said with a small smile and he grinned before picking you up and setting you on the dryer as your mouths met with more urgency. Your kiss and need started to grow and grow and boil over very quickly.

It really wasn’t planned when he carried you to his room and got you undressed. Even though you’d yet to resolve everything from before, you didn’t feel worried or wrong about this. You felt comfortable and beautiful as you felt his bare skin against your own. You were eagerly awaiting it as he kissed down your body and made you feel so good along the way. He wasted no time in getting down and going down on you, showing you just how much he had missed you. He savored you and gave you his best until you were starting to lose your grip on reality.

“Oh fuck, I missed you…” you giggled through a moan as his tongue did it’s wonderful work between your legs. You were tingling all over as he flicked over your clit until you were trembling and then he started to suck, “Oh my god!” You gasped as your eyes started to roll back. “I’m getting so close!” You warned. 

Your lips parted and you started to pant when he started to work two fingers into you. Your breath hitched when he curved them up into your g-spot. You felt your body melt into the bed for a second before he started to fuck into you harden until you were so tense your legs trembled as you started to come. The soft moans flowing from your lips were egging Harry on, making him even more hungry for you. You pulled him back up to you and your lips met eagerly as you reached for the button of his jeans.

“Want ‘em off?” He asked and you nodded, “Sure, baby?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, baby. I want you. I need you.” You whispered and he smiled before kissing your lips quickly before pulling back a bit.

“I just…I need you to know that if we do this I want us t-to be the thing that means we’re going to try again.” He said and your gaze softened, “Obviously, I’ve missed your body and having you like this, but this is more than that to me. I want it to  be more than that.” He said and you nodded.

“I do too, baby. I want to try again. I really do.” You said to him with welled up eyes and he smiled and kissed you slowly again.

“You are everything to me.” He mumbled as you helped get his pants off blindly as he tugged the material down, “I’m never going to forget that again. I swear it, baby. You make me so fucking happy.” He panted as he toed off the pants before he climbed over you and pulled you up with him towards the the top of the bed. You climbed over his lap and kissed his passionately. Harry’s hands roamed your naked body with expertise. He knew the spots to touch and to pay mind to as you guys worked up to the love-making bit. You too appreciated his body. You touched and kissed over his body and took his length into your mouth, working him up just a bit more before you two had sex. 

“Shit, baby…fuck that’s so good!” He groaned as you sunk down on him until you gagged around his tip. You weren’t as used to his size as you once were. 

“Careful, baby. Go easy.” He reminded as he stroked over your cheek lovingly before running his thumb along your stretched out bottom lip. He loved seeing how you fit him in your hot little mouth. It had his abs clenching hard as you rolled and fondled his heavy balls in your hands until he was fighting the urge to start thrusting in your mouth. “Baby, please…please, I need you.” He panted and you popped off of him and glanced up at him.

“Can I get on?” You asked and he swallowed thickly.

“A-are you sure you want this?” He asked and you nodded.

“I do, H. I want this with you. I want everything with you. Everything that we had, I want it all back. I love you more than anything in the wor-” he cut you off with his kiss and laid you down. You were dying of impatience as hi heavy erection glided against your slicked up and swollen folds, you were so ready to have him back.

“I love you. I love you so much.” He whispered as he lined up to your entrance.

“I love you too. Please just…I need you.” You begged and so he pushed forward until he was sinking deep in your hot, wet little hole until he bottomed out. 

You hissed as you adjusted back to his size, he was great about it, so patient and eager to get you going by rubbing over your clit until you were so wet you were sliding up and down his shaft. He watched you hungrily as you lifted your hips up and down to feel him moving inside of you. But it got to the point where he needed to take over and just get you both to come. His thrusts were deep and slow, he was bottoming out with each one, it was making your brain blank each and every time he sunk into the deepest part of you. Your body was tingling and your walls fluttering and pulsing around him with every movement. Everything felt so good with him. He was looking down at you with so much adoration it was making you even more emotional.

“Baby, baby don’t cry.” He chuckled as he kissed your forehead as a few tears streamed down your cheek.

“It just feels so…good.” You sniffled and he kissed you quickly, “It feels so good to be with you.” You hummed as you rolled your hips up against his and he moaned lowly and kissed you again.

“Yeah? Are you gonna come for me?” He asked and you nodded. “Good girl, let me know when you’re getting close.”

“I will.” You whined out as he delved deep and ground against you until your eyes squeezed shut, “Shit!” You gasped as he started thrusting a bit faster into that spot until you just felt yourself leaking around.

“Fuck…” he laughed, “Fuck, you’re so wet f’me, I-I’m getting close.” He panted and you whined and started to rub your clit to catch up to him.

In a few moments you were right there on the edge with him. Your back was arching as you moaned his name as your orgasm nearly took you out. Your ears were ringing and your vision was blurring as you started to come around him. He started to thrust faster to get off, but he was drawing out your orgasm until you were trembling.

“Fuck…fuck, I’m coming!” He warned as he started to press himself up to pull out. “Oh fuuuuck…” he moaned as he started to stroke himself as he came all over your mound. He thrusted his sensitive cock through your folds, making a little mess of you before kissing you ardently. “I love you. Love you so fucking much.” He whispered, his voice cracked as he started to cry and you pulled him into your chest and held him tight as you both just let your raw emotions out in this moment. 

You both needed it desperately. After he settled down he hurried to get something to clean you off and then you started to talk about you two. What you wanted, what you hoped to see in the future. You’d had these conversations before but even now the things that Harry was saying to you were complete different than before. Losing you seemed to be the thing that woke him up to how much he’d been taking you for granted. He’d gotten used to it, he’d gotten complacent at your expense.

“It’s going to be so different this time.” He said softly as he looked deep in your eyes, “I will be different this time.” He assured and you sighed.

“I believe you…there’s just a little part of me that is still not ready to let you back in.” You explained after he had explained how he was going to show up for you from now on, “I want to just trust you fully, but I’m afraid that you’ll make a fool of me again. That you’ll hurt me again.” You explained, “And I know y-you won’t but I just need to let you know that I’m still learning to trust you fully again.” You explained. “So please just…be a little patient with me.” You requested and he smiled.

“I know, baby. I will be patient with you and I will do everything I can to prove to you that I will never do anything to make you doubt choosing me again.” He said and kissed you slowly. You smiled into the kiss and let him pull you closer to him again and that’s how you fell asleep, nestled close together.

….. ONE MONTH LATER ….

In this short amount of time things had drastically shifted between you and Harry. You’d started to go on a date a week, doing thoughtful things for each other, sharing your feelings as they arose, communicated openly…he’d matured a lot in your time apart and helped you overcome your fears faster than you anticipated. You were so proud of him and it was spilling over into every moment. Like now, you were filled with a surge of love as you wandered into the kitchen to see him pulling out your favorite salad dressing from the fridge.

“Hiya, baby. What’re you up to?” You asked.

“Just making us your favorite salad for a light lunch.” He said.

“Wow, lunch already?” you asked and he smiled as you went over to him and hugged him from the back as you peeked over to his hands, eager to direct him on how much dressing he needed to add.

“Yeah, love!” He chuckled, “We had breakfast at 8! It’s already past 2pm.” He informed you and that surprised you. But you’d been so sucked into your work that it was very possible that you forgot to even feel hungry.

“Oh, I didn’t realize.” You explained and he frowned a bit.

“Baby, have you been feeling alright? It’s not just today, I’ve noticed that you haven’t had much of an appetite at all lately.” He pointed out and you frowned as you gave it some thought and realized that yeah, this was something you’d been feeling for at least two weeks. Maybe it was intense PMS? You hadn’t gotten your period since moving here, so you hoped it was just your body finally catching up with itself.

“You’re right…I mean, I have very visceral reactions to stress and big changes…I mean, my whole body and system have just been out of whack for a little but they’ll balance out again.” You assured him and he hummed.

“That’s true, it’s been hectic for you.” He said as he opened up the dressing bottle, “Honestly, I was thinking that-” he stopped as you gagged as the scent of the dressing wafting up towards you. You had to let him go and go hunch yourself over the sink as you felt the scent of the dressing just linger in your nose and mouth. “Baby…?” Harry came over and rubbed your back slowly, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah…” you grimaced, “But I think the dressing is bad. Didn’t you smell that? It was rank!” You turned to him with a disgusted look on your face and he frowned.

“I didn’t smell anything. You look a bit awful now though. You’re all pale.” He said feeling your forehead and you exhaled slowly to ward off the nausea that you suddenly felt making your head spin.

“I might throw up, the dressing smells so bad.” You explained and he frowned and turned to the counter and brought it up to his nose and it smelled just fine to him. He even checked the bottle for the usage date and it was still good. 

“This is fine…should I mix your salad with something else then?” He asked and you shook your head.

“I think I’m fine. I’ll just have some toast.” You said and he nodded. Eventually, you had to go back to your “office” and leave him hanging for lunch because you could not handle the look and scent of the salad, especially that dressing. By the time dinner rolled around you were still feeling a little off so you just had some veggies in a chicken broth and that was that.

*******************

You’d truly forgotten about your sensitive sense of smell until once again, you were assailed by an unbearable scent. Except this time it had happened at your friend, Poppy’s house. And this time you did actually get sick.

“God, I’m so sorry, P.” You apologized as you returned to her kitchen with embarrassment, “I swear its not your cooking, my nose has just been so sensitive lately and I get to grossed out by certain scents. I’m not sure what exactly yet though.” You explained to her.

“God, you sound like my sister when she got pregnant.” Poppy chuckled and you froze. That hadn’t even crossed your mind. Yeah, you’d missed your period for the last two months but literally everything impacted your period, your cycle was fickle, especially when you were under as much stress as you’d been. You weren’t surprised that it hadn’t come at all. Truly, this wasn’t new to you, especially when you were stressed out, regardless of whether or not you were on the pill (which you weren’t after moving back here, you’d run out the week before you came out). Then, you recalled that when you and Harry had sex the first time he hadn’t used a condom. Yeah, he’d pulled out but that was never a guarantee.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Poppy asked you with concern.

“I think I should probably take a test just to rule that out. I mean, it’s…very unlikely but I was a bit irresponsible a bit ago and just need some peace of mind.” You said.

“Okay, I have some in my bathroom, let me get you one.” She offered and you nodded so she hurried off to get it for you.

You were sure you were good, but you just needed to see it for yourself. There was absolutely no way you could be pregnant, you weren’t ready for that. Harry wasn’t ready for that. Like emotionally you guys were, but you had just rekindled your relationship, the last thing you needed was something this crazy to throw a wrench in things so quickly after you’d gotten back together.

“Alright, here you are, babe.” She said handing over the box as she came up to you again.

“Thanks.” You smiled nervously.

“W-would you mind if I did it here?” You asked her and she smiled and shook her head.

“Of course not.” She assured you and with that you were off to the bathroom again, sitting there, willing yourself to pee enough to saturate the stick and finally it came and you put the cap back on it and washed your hands before coming out. “I hate to be that person but what if you are pregnant?” She asked and you sighed.

“I have no idea…” you confessed through a nervous chuckle while you stared at the wall blankly, “I mean, H and I just…God, we’re just getting back into the groove of things. Throwing a baby into the mix at this time isn’t going to make anything easier. It’s just not what we need right now.” You explained to her.

“Yeah, I get that.” She chuckled, “Cam and I try and then we stop because of the same thing and like…ugh, it’s just a vicious cycle! And genuinely, if you have that many doubts it’s just that you’re not prepared for it, you know? That’s what I had to tell Cam after a few months.” She explained and you nodded in understanding. “I-if you are…what do you think Harry’d say?” She asked and you sighed.

“I have no fucking clue…” you admitted, “Obviously, before, we had said we wanted to have a family together. But again, that was before everything went to shit with us.” You sighed, “And like, we’re in such a good place right now…” you sighed, “Like I know he wouldn’t be a prick about it but we’re not quite ready for that yet.” You chuckled nervously and Poppy nodded in understanding.

“Well, don’t worry, you’ll see in a few minutes that everything is fine.” She smiled with encouragement. 

You decided to believe her that everything was going to be fine. You were already booked for a full body, deep tissue massage next week with Poppy when your timer went off. You turned off the timer and then brought the test up closer and your heart stopped beating and you stopped breathing for what felt like an eternity. Staring right back at you, clear as day, were two little pink lines.

“Th-that means I’m…right?” You asked showing Poppy and she bit her lip nervously and nodded.

“Are you okay?” She asked you with concern and you just exhaled slowly. You were completely taken by surprise. Then you started to get worried.

“I ummm…I think I need to get home.” You said to her, still in shock. You swallowed thickly as you tried to imagine how Harry would react to the news that he would be a father.

“Do you want me to drive you over?” She offered, since you had walked from Harry’s to hers. It was just a 20 minute walk, you guys lived quite close.

“No, no, P, it’s alright. I think walking will be good for me, I need to…I need…” you trailed off as your eyes started to well up with tears as you started to imagine the worst case scenario.

“Hey…Hey, hey, hey, c’mere.” She said pulling you into her arms as you started to cry, “It’s going to be alright, babe. H is not gonna be angry, you know that.” She assured you as she rubbed comforting circles into your back as you held her tight. “You have options, yeah? You know that he’ll have your back no matter what.” She said and you nodded, “Let me get you home, yeah?”

“Okay.” You whispered to your best friend and she gave you one more squeeze before letting you go.

  Once you got to your place she encouraged you to have a shower and that she’d get some tea going for you. You texted Harry that you needed him to come home as soon as possible, you didn’t want this solely on your chest for another minute. You took your time and when Harry started pulling into your driveway Poppy popped in and let you know before shouting a goodbye to you. You sighed and relished in the warm water for just another moment before turning off the water. You were soon reaching for your robe and slipping into it. You padded over to the mirror to wash your face and you bit your lip before untying the robe and looking over your body. You looked the same, you saw no evidence of a baby.

“Baby?” You heard Harry calling from downstairs. Soon, his footsteps were heard coming up the stairs and you quickly tied your robe up and got to lathering your face wash in your hands.

“In the bathroom!” You called back before rubbing it into your skin. He rushed into the bathroom and looked more than relieved to see you intact.

“Are you alright?” He asked and you sighed and quickly bent over to rinse your face. You then dabbed it dry as you reached for your toner.

“I think so…” you responded after a little bit, “I don’t know.” You sighed as you grabbed your moisturizer.

“Well what’s going on? Hmmm?” He asked you as he came over and kissed your shoulder, his arms wrapped around your middled and pulled you in closer and suddenly you had to throw up again. You gasped and wriggled out of his hold and turned around to face him. Your eyes started welling up with tears again and you were just building up the courage to say it. “Baby, you’re worrying me.” He said softly and you swallowed thickly.

“Ummm…I…I’m pregnant.” You said and his jaw slightly dropped. He let out a small and nervous laugh before he just pulled you back into his arms without a single word. You hugged him back and just held each other for a little bit.

“What do you want to do?” He finally asked you and you shook your head.

“I have no fucking clue…” you said and he let you go and hoisted you up onto the counter. You draped your arms over his shoulders as he held your thighs, “I mean, what do you think?” You asked and he sighed.

“I don’t fucking know…I mean, that’s gonna be our baby so I…like I’m inclined t-to give it a try. But at the same time I don’t know that our relationship is ready for something like this. I mean, I want this with you in a few years but we’re just getting started again.”

“I know…I don’t even know how this…like you pulled out.”

“I know, but it’s not always a guaranteed thing.” He said and you sighed.

“I should’ve said something then…” you shook your head as you rubbed your forehead with one of your hands.

“Hey, there’s no point for any would’ve-should’ve-s,” he said, “It’s gonna be alright. We’ll figure it out soon, okay?” You nodded, “Just take your time, baby. Whatever you decide, I have your back.” He assured you and you nodded. He grabbed your face and kissed your lips until you were smiling.

“Stoooop.” You giggled, “M’not in the mood.” You pouted through your smile and he smiled.

“I think you’re lying.” He hummed and you rolled your eyes. “Look, how about we get an appointment with the doctor and see how far along you are and maybe that’ll help us decide what we might want to do.” He said and you nodded.

“Yes, good thinking.” You smiled, “God, I was so scared to tell you.” You sighed and he tutted.

“What made you think to take a test?”

“I smelled something P was cooking and got sick.” You said, you felt tour cheeks growing hot in embarrassment. Harry chuckled and then furrowed his brows pensively. 

“Didn’t you almost get sick at the salad dressing a bit ago?” He recalled and you chuckled.

“Yeah, that’s true…” you remembered, “I mean, I know I haven’t gotten my period but-”

“How was that not a sign?!” He chuckled in disbelief and you proceeded to explain how your period often skipped when you were under a lot of stress so this wasn’t an odd thing for you. But he was sweet, he was calm, but you could see the cogs just turning at full speed in his mind. You hoped he wasn’t angry at you, but you couldn’t help but think that he was and that he would run again. “I’m not angry, you know?” He mumbled softly and you glanced into his eyes and smiled a bit, “I can see it in your eyes, you know?” He whispered.

“You sure?”

“I am, baby. But I am…excited too…I mean, I don’t want to dwell on it too much incase we decide not to proceed with this but…I am. I mean, you’re the only person I want to have a life with. No matter how it happens, it’s you that I want to have babies with and raise them with and just share that experience with. So if you did want to continue with the pregnancy that would be good with me too.” He hummed.

“Okay. Thank you for your opinion.” You whispered before kissing his lips and hugging him tight against. You kissed at his neck as you just nestled yourself in the crook of it. “I love you.”

“I love you.” He smiled.

…. TWO DAYS LATER ….

You currently found your self peeing into a cup at the doctor’s office. You knew you were pregnant, but the doctor wanted to verify before they did an ultrasound to see where you were at. Once you finished you closed up the little jar and left it not he shelf as instructed. You washed your hands and then scurried across the hall and back into your room to see Harry intently reading the poster on the wall abut pregnancy.

“You know you get super horny during the second trimester.” He said in amusement, “As if you needed any more of that while pregnant…greedy.” He mumbled with a grin and you chuckled.

“You’re dumb.” You said as you went back over to the bench and sat again. You dangled your feet back and forth for a bit before Harry came over.

“What’re you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that…this is fucking insane.” You chuckled.

“In a good way?”

“Yeah…bad too.” You hummed and he nodded and leaned in to kiss your cheek.

“It’s going to be just fine, baby.” He assured you right as the doctor knocked at the door. “Come in!” Harry called and soon the woman was coming in.

“Hello, Y/N!” Dr. Sallow greeted you sweetly, “Glad you’re back!” She said with glee and you smiled.

“Thank you.” You replied, “And ummm, this is Harry, my…partner.” You said and she turned to him and smiled.

“Harry, wonderful to meet you.” She smiled and extended her hand and they shook them quickly before she walked over to the screen. “So, you’re here because you are pregnant.” She said and you nodded, “I can confirm that.” She smiled and Harry squeezed your knee when you inhaled sharply. It sort of felt official now. “So we can definitely do an ultrasound if you’d like, the room is available. Or did you have other questions?” she asked.

“Definitely an ultrasound. Want to know how far along I am and that sort of thing.”

“I’d assume fairly early if you’re just noticing any symptoms, so don’t be too disappointed if we don’t see much of anything just yet.” She forewarned and you both nodded. “Alright, I’m gonna have nurse Debbie set up the room and then she’ll escort you over and we’ll get a look at you.”

“Thank you.” You smiled and soon she excused herself before fluttering off to her next patient. You only waited a couple of minutes before nurse Debbie came to escort you to the ultrasound room and got you all set up. Harry was practically bouncing beside you with anxiety as he waited. 

“Let me get the doctor.” Debbie said and hurried out. You glanced over to Harry.

“Hey, hold my hand.” You said and he dragged a chair over and interlocked your fingers. “I’m so excited to see.” You whispered and he grinned wide.

“Me too.” He confessed and you chuckled. “Maybe we…think a bit more about keeping it…” he suggested and you smiled a bit.

“Yeah? You mean it?” You asked softly and he nodded.

“I do, baby.” He smiled. 

A few moments later Dr. Sallow was announcing herself again before coming in. She explained the procedure and then got the gel on you before grabbing the camera and gliding it over your tummy, looking for the best spot.

“Oh…there we are.” she hummed and Harry immediately shot upon seeing the image projected on the screen.

“Oh my god…” he whispered as he squeezed your hand tight and you smiled up at him quickly before you both glanced back over to the screen.

“So that there is the head and the arms and legs…” she pointed out and shifted the angle, “Do you want to know the sex?” She asked as she turned to you and you chuckled.

“That’s…ummm, isn’t it a bit early to know that?” You asked her and she shook her head.

“Not at all, we can tell as early as 10 week if the position is right.” She explained and you’re heart stopped.

“And I’m already 10 weeks along?” You asked shakily as the realization of what this meant started to settle in. You felt Harry starting to pull his hand away from yours.

“Oh no, you’re more like 14 weeks, dear.” She said and that’s when Harry completely pulled away from you and you felt the air completely leave your lungs. You turned to him and he just clenched his jaw as he ran his fingers through the top of his hair. “So do you want to know?” She asked and you were so frozen that you nodded quickly as your eyes teared up. “It’s a girl.” She said with a smiled and you just nodded.

“That’s…that’s so great.” You whispered and then brought a hand up over your mouth in an attempt to muffle the sound as started to cry. Dr. Sallow turned to you quickly with concern and then you felt Harry’s hand grab yours again. You turned towards him and saw he was crying too. “I’m sorry.” You whispered and he shook his head.

“We’ll talk about it.” He said to you softly and you nodded.

“Is everything alright?” Dr. Sallow asked and you sniffled.

“Sorry, yes. I just didn’t mean to say that.” You explained and she apologized but you assured her it was fine. 

You just wanted to get out of there… you were mortified. This wasn’t Harry’s baby and now you really had no idea what to do. You always used condoms with Steven, but now that you knew he was psycho, you had no doubt that he was capable of sabotaging you like this. More than anything you were so hurt and angry that he had taken this from you and Harry. For a second you almost turned and asked for an appointment for an abortion but you glanced at the screen and you were flooded with guilt for even thinking that.

“Ummm, I’d like to leave.” You said as you started to sit up and Dr. Sallow was quick to clean you off. Harry helped you off of the reclining seat and you were back on the road not even ten minutes later. 

You were just silent the whole way home, you felt like shit. You felt awful for getting Harry all excited only to know that this was not his child you were carrying. You were so confused right now, you almost wanted to pinch yourself and hope you woke up. You could feel Harry continuously glancing over at you but you couldn’t look at him. There was no way you could look at him after this. It was over between you two…there was no way you could ask him to stay with you after this. It wouldn’t be fair to him. When you got to the house you made it to the stairwell and plopped down as you started to sob violently.

You moved to the side when you saw Harry coming over, assuming he was just going to go up to the bedroom. But then he crouched down and sat a step above you and pulled you into him by the shoulders.

“It’s o-”

“Don’t say it’s okay.” You cut him off, “This is not okay.” You whispered sadly. “I hate Steven.” You seethed and he swallowed thickly as you started to sob and he pulled you closer and kissed the side of your head.

“I love you, okay? This doesn’t change that for me.” He said to you and you shook your head.

“I would never ask you or expect to stay. It’s not fair to you, Harry…” you said sadly, “I was about to tell Dr. Sallow that I wanted to abort but then I saw the screen again and I just…I don’t think I can do it. That’s like…a part of me too and I just…I don’t think I can go through with it.” You said again, sputtering on your tears. “If that means that we’re over, I get it. I totally understand it.” You sniffled.

Harry frowned deeply as he heard you say this. His heart was completely torn right now. He thought you were reacting this way because you were going to terminate the pregnancy upon finding out that it wasn’t your baby together. But hearing you say that you wouldn’t be able to do that, it made him so angry and so hurt. Despite his own feelings about this, he fully understood why changed your mind. After seeing the tiny little thing tucked inside of you his heart was in shambles too. He was fully ready to advocate for you guys keeping it, but hearing how far along you were, it completely shattered his heart. He felt physically ill as the moment replayed in his brain. You’d both slept with other people during your time apart, so he wasn’t angry at that, it was more that it was Steven’s. A man who had hurt you and disrespected you and that scared you. It made the hate he felt for him grow even more intense than it already was. He was livid, he could kill him for taking this from you two. Harry had to decide how he would proceed from here. You were fully prepared to leave him again in order to keep this baby and the thought of it put so much sorrow in his heart. He didn’t want to lose you.

The idea of leaving you and letting you do this all on your own made his sad. You didn’t deserve that. You deserved to have a good pregnancy, one that came with a supportive partner, someone to share the experience with. He wanted to be the person to be there for you but right now the thought of that little thing growing inside of you made his blood boil with hatred. He couldn’t think clearly in the slightest. 

“I ummm…I love you so much, baby. I just, I think I need some time t-to process this and just think about it all.” He said to you and you nodded. “I love you though. You know that right?” He asked and you nodded again as he kissed the side of your head.

“Love you too.” You whispered and he hummed. “Should I go for a couple of days?” You asked quietly.

“No, baby.” He said quietly, “You stay here and rest up.” He hummed lowly, “I think I’m gonna go up north and just spend a few days with my mum, clear my head, if that’s alright?” He asked. You wanted to say no, the last thing you wanted right now was to be all alone with this information. But you had no choice but to agree, you had just put him in the most impossible position and he deserved to have the space to think about it as calmly and comfortably as possible.

“Yeah, sure.” You whispered.

“Can I tell my mum?” He asked and you sighed.

“Why the fuck not…” You chuckled through your tears and he pouted.

“Hey, look at me.” He insisted, “I won’t if you don’t want me to, baby. This is about you, about your body. If you want me to keep it to myself I will.” He assured.

“Sorry. I’m just afraid that it’ll change how she feels about me.” You explained nervously. You’d had a wonderful relationship with Anne. You missed her wisdom and kindness and friendship during your time apart from Harry and hearing that another man had impregnated you, her son’s girlfriend, well you’d understand if it upset her. 

“No…I mean, things happen. Accidents happen.” He said and you shook your head.

“Baby, I-I don’t think this was accidental because we used a condom every single time. I’m certain of it!” You wept, “Like I’m not stupid, or careless like that.” You assured.

“You think he ruined the condoms?” He asked and you sighed as you recalled all of the overtly possessive things Steven had been saying to you during sex the last month or so that you had been together. Things about making you his forever, about giving him babies one day, making you a mom…you thought he was just introducing some of his preferences in bed with that kind of talk, but maybe it was more than that. 

“It’s very possible.” You said softly.

“Jesus…” he shook his head, “How fucked up was this guy?” He asked you and you shrugged.

“I never saw that side of him before all of this.” You said and Harry sighed and nodded. After a moment of silence he cleared his throat.

“Ummm…I’m just gonna pack and head out soon, want to avoid that rush hour traffic near Birmingham.” He said and you nodded. 

He stood up and then offered to help you stand as well before you guys went up to the room. You sat on the bed as you watched him pack a couple days worth of clothes. You wanted to ask him to stay, but you couldn’t be that selfish. This was the least you could do for him after that a-bomb was just dropped on him. Not to mention the a-bomb you’d just dumped on him too. When he finished packing up his bag he went over and kissed you quickly.

“I’m not running away from you, okay? I just need to clear my head.” He reassured you, his words were mumbled against your forehead before he kissed you there, “I love you so much.” He whispered before kissing your lips.

“Love you.” You mumbled, “Text when you get there, yeah?”

“I will, baby.” He assured.

“Be safe.”

“Always.” He hummed before he bid you farewell once more before he left. 

Once you heard him pull out of the driveway you just curled up on your side and started to cry. This couldn’t be real…there was no way this could be real. You felt completely defeated. The only thing you could think that made you happy was that you never wanted Steven to know about this, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. You had no idea how that would go down with your child in the future, but right now you wanted him not to know a single thing about you ever again. After coming to that conclusion you ended up calling your mom and telling her everything that happened. You talked and cried for nearly an hour before she had to go, but not without promising she’d call again and chat the next day in order to keep you some company, even from afar. 

After that you decided to draw yourself a warm and relaxing bath, that always made you feel so calm. So you started out on that, letting your bath bomb melt in the warm water as you made yourself a nice cup of tea, your last caffeinated one for the foreseeable future, and then got inside.

*****************

Harry had been driving up the M1 motorway for a bit before he quickly texted his mum his ETA. This caused her to call him right away and ask what this surprise visit was about, but he couldn’t speak when he answered her call. He just sobbed, he sobbed for nearly 15 minutes before he shared what had happened that morning at the doctor’s office. He explained everything he was feeling, even the bad things he was thinking, but the one thing that kept coming up was how much he loved you.

“I love her so much but I just don’t think I could get past the fact that, that prick is the baby’s dad…I cannot for the life of me sit with that information and not become enraged by it.” He said, it pained him to spare Steven a thought.

“D-do you feel angry at Y/N for being with him?” She asked and he frowned.

“No/ It’s not like I didn’t see other people but I hate that she thinks that I couldn’t be with her after this. Like, I think about letting her go, like she’s saying, and it absolutely guts me.” He explained. “And like…I feel bad that it crossed my mind at some point, but not for the reasons you might think, it’s just that I don’t know i-if I am even prepared to take that role on.” He sniffled.

“No one ever is, even when it’s meticulously planned, H.” She reasoned and he sighed,

“Are you concerned about him wanting to come back into her life?” She asked and he nodded.

“Yeah…a bit.” He admitted, “I mean, I don’t think he’s the type to take any accountability for his actions but if he finds out about it he’s so arrogant that he might want to just to make her uncomfortable. I mean, Y/N thinks it may have been deliberate because she said she always made sure t-to use protection. I mean, I wouldn’t put it past him to do something like that, the man was completely mad.” He shared and his mum hummed in understanding.

“Well sweetheart, it doesn’t sound to me like you’re all that conflicted. It sounds to me like you don’t want to end things with her.”

“Of course not! But what if I…what I can’t love that baby as much since I now know this?” He asked.

“I-is that what’s holding you back?” She asked and he hummed on confirmation. He felt like a complete prick saying that but he was legitimately concerned about this. What if you went on to have your own kids together and it just changed something in him? What if he was open to being with you now but then changed his mind? What if he saw Steven every time he saw that baby and only felt anger instead of love? The chances of something like this happening were extremely low, practically non-existent, but not 0%. And in the end he would hurt you and that baby even more if he walked out because one of these things happened.

“You know what I think?”

“What?”

“I think you will love her just fine, H. You know why?” She asked and he hummed, “Because out of everyone in the world you know the impact that one incredible and dedicated man can have on a child.” She said and he sniffled, “You’ve seen for yourself that a biological connection is not needed to give someone unconditional love and support. You’re lucky, you got that from two fathers.” She said and he smiled.

“Yeah.” He whispered.

“I’m not saying that it won’t be scary and difficult at times t-to do this, but it can also be extremely beautiful and rewarding. You’re both such wonderful people that if you decided to stay and do this together you could impact that child’s life for the better, just like yours was.” 

“Right…” he said softly

“And well, honestly sweetheart, these concerns you have, they’re things you need to figure out with Y/N. She will listen to you, H. I mean, if you’re feeling this conflicted about things I can’t image how she must be feeling now.” she said with sympathy and when he saw himself nearing Birmingham he felt awful. It got as bad as him feeling sick to his stomach as he pictured your fearful and distraught face back in the bedroom. He’d done it again, he’d left you hanging at a time when you needed his love and support the most. He loved you so much, he could not believe he’d left you alone in that state. And in two seconds he started to signal to get off of the motorway.

“Mum, I ummm…I need to go back and be with, Y/N.” He decided, “I shouldn’t have left here there by herself after everything she had to hear today…I’d be surprised if she was still there after I just walked out…fuck!” He groaned in frustration.

“H, she loves you so much.”

“I love her too…why do I keep doing the wrong thing and hurting her?” He cried now as he got off at the next exit. He was waiting for the traffic to clear before he could make his turn to turn around.

“I think it kind of scares you, how much you love her. And I think in a way you might feel like you could lose her, so you pull back regardless of how that might make her feel. It’s self preservation.” She explained and he swallowed thickly. Hearing this helped him mentally decide that he wasn’t going to run any more, after everything he’d done you’d given him another chance regardless of the possibility of him hurting you again. This was his chance to show you that his love for you was bigger than everything else. “Don’t be afraid to open your heart, sweetheart.” She added and he hummed.

“Alright, thank you for listening. I’m just gonna call Dr. A and ummm…hopefully sort some mental things out before I get back to Y/N.” He said.

“Okay, bub. Be safe, please let me know when you’re home safe. I love you.”

“Love you.” He mumbled before he hung up and got back onto the motorway but heading back towards the South. He wasn’t going to do the same thing again and leave all alone to guess just how much he loved you, not this time. He was going to be there for you and support you and love you both.

*****************

It was a bit odd to you when you heard the large gate to Harry’s house opening up. But then you recalled that sometimes his PA would do errands that required him to come to the house. So you just got out of the tub quickly and rinsed your body off in the shower before getting into your robe in case he came upstairs for any reason. You were just getting one of Harry’s hoodies when you heard his voice.

“Baby? Are you still here?” He called out as you heard the front door shut heavily against the frame. You hurried into the yoga pants you’d grabbed and rushed out to see him coming up the stairs. 

“You came back.” You sighed in relief as he hurried up and he just pulled you right into his arms and you started to cry.

“I’m so sorry. I should never have left you like this, baby.” He sniffled as he kissed your head over and over again. “I love you so much. I love you so fucking much.” He assured you. “I’m not leaving you alone with this, baby.” He said to you and you pulled back a bit to look at him.

“What do you…mean by that?”

“It means that we’re doing this together.” He said to you and you shook your head.

“I can’t…I couldn’t do that to you.” You said to him and he shook his head.

“You’re not doing anything to me, baby. If you’re keeping this baby I am choosing to do this with you. I know it’s going to be hard but I will be there for you every step of the way and love our little babygirl with everything I am. I love you far too much to not see this through with you.” He said and you just broke down and hugged him tight.

You had no words, there was just joy. You knew this would be hard and challenging and even sad at times, but he’d come back to you and he wanted you to stay with him.

“I love you so much, H.” You finally whispered before kissing his lips.

“You’re everything to me, baby. We’re gonna get through this.” He smiled and you smiled.

“Promise?”

“I promise.” He smiled, “It was actually my mum who reminded me that biology had nothing to do with being a great father, so…she doesn’t hate you.” He said and you chuckled through your tears.

“Good, that would’ve definitely been the worst outcome.” You said jokingly and he smiled. “And look, I know that there are a lot of logistics and other things to discuss and I’m still sorting through that mentally, s-so if you can just be a little patient with me while I…get that together in my head I would really appreciate that. I’m still processing that there’s a little person forming in there and it’s kind of…freaky.” You said as you looked up into his eyes and he sputtered on a laugh. You frowned at his reaction, “What?”

“I thought you were going to say it was magical or amazing, not freaky.” He giggled and you did as well. 

“Oh…well, I…I don’t feel…happy about it yet.” You confessed to him and this brought on a fresh wave of tears, “I feel like shit about that. Like I’m gonna be a mom, I should be happy, not freaked out, shouldn’t I?” You asked him.

“Not necessarily. You can feel however you want about it, baby.” He assured you, “Especially in this situation, it’s come as a surprise to you. I don’t judge you at all for not feeling happy about this yet, baby.”

“Promise?”

“I swear it.” He promised before pecking your lips again quickly.

“Thank you.” You whispered and he nodded and smile at you.

“Wanna do something to take your mind off of things for a bit?” He asked.

“Like what?”

“We can…sort through the pantry and fridge and see what foods you’ll have an aversion to?” He offered and you smiled and shook your head at his bizarre, yet completely productive suggestion. “I see you trying to hold back your smile.” He teased and you finally gave in.

“That’s the wildest but most genius thing you’ve ever suggested.” You giggled.

“I know. Imagine how smart our kid’s gonna be?! We’ve got this in the bag.” He said confidently.

“You think so?” You asked and he nodded.

“With you as her mum, I know so.” He smiled.

…. 1 YEAR LATER ….

You woke up feeling completely refreshed and renewed. It was absolutely quiet in the house and it was strange to wake up in silence. When you rolled over and looked at your phone you saw it was nearly 10am and shot out of bed. You had no idea how you’d slept in that much! The baby needed to be fed and changed! You hurried over to the nursery already thinking up an apology in your head for Ellie. But when you made it into the nursery it was empty. Harry had some work to do for Pleasing today so you knew he’d be out. Maybe he called someone to come look after the baby? When you passed by his home studio on the way to the kitchen you heard his voice along with others, so you knocked on the door.

“Come in!” He called quickly and you peeked inside and immediately smiled when you saw Harry spin around in the chair with Elara sitting on his lap, she was literally just chilling there while she drooled all over one of the newer nail polishes Pleasing would release soon. He smiled at you over the sounds of whoever was speaking right now. “Hey guys, are we good for today or is there anything else we needed to go over?” He asked with a smile as you waved from the background.

“We’re all good!” You heard and then heard the multiple voices bidding farewell to you and baby Elara before he hung up.

“You didn’t have to do that.” You said to him as you walked into the room to grab her from him.

“It’s alright, baby, we were just chatting a bit.” He assured you, “Weren’t we?” He asked the baby who just ignored him to keep attempting to bite the bottle in her hands before he started to rub at her back.

“I know you had work, you should’ve woken me up.” You said as you kissed his head.

“No way.” He chuckled, “You know, you slept through two whole alarms, you clearly needed the rest. I thought you were dead for second there.” He said with grin and you tutted.

“Don’t even say that.” You scolded.

“You’re right, sorry. Bad joke.” He corrected himself, “But really, my love, I don’t mind doing these launch plan meetings online, it’s none of the fun stuff so.” He shrugged and you smiled, “Besides when I have Ellie on camera everyone is so obsessed with her little smile that they’re so agreeable, so it’s a win-win.” He chuckled and you smirked.

“God forbid the paps see her and exploit her for money, but her own father is exploiting her cuteness for sway in the board room.” You said with a grin and he chuckled.

“Hey, she likes hearing all the commotion too.” He added and you smiled before kissing the top of her head and she sighed and laid over his chest making you both coo. “She finally slept through the night. Sorry you missed it.” He said softly and you chuckled.

“I’m sorry you’re so used to waking up to her crying that you noticed!” You giggled as you raked your fingers through his curls easily and he hummed.

“I don’t mind it. Reminds me that this little cutie is finally here.” He said and you smiled at how sweet he was with her.

“I can’t believe she’ll be six whole months tomorrow.” You said in disbelief.

“I know…S’your half birthday, bub.” He said to her and she just blinked tiredly, "She’s perfect though, isn’t she? Your little twin.” He hummed with pride as he looked down at her and then at you again. You nodded and watched him with her for a few moments.

Harry had nothing but love for baby Elara. He adored her completely. He almost felt silly for being so worried that he wouldn’t bond with her as genuinely as if she were his biological daughter. Once he saw you starting to show and you guys started shopping for the nursery, and picking out baby names, every ounce of doubt he had melted away. That was his daughter in every sense of the word. He had so much love for the both of you that he felt like his heart would burst sometimes.

“I love you so much.” You said to him and he glanced up at you.

“More than Ellie?” He smirked and you chuckled.

“The same, I think.” You hummed and he looked surprised.

“Oh wow, I was expecting a firm no.” He laughed.

“Oh my god…I love you both. It’s a bit different for sure but I somehow get it all to fit in my heart.” You said and he smiled as he stood up.

“Look at her, she’s about to pass out again.” He said as he looked down at the baby.

“I think we should get her back in the crib and have a cuddle. We can watch that show you’ve been pestering me about.” He suggested

“Love is Blind?” You gasped and he nodded. 

Soon enough you had washed your face and brushed your teeth, as you did every morning, all while Harry got Ellie down. But he soon joined you in bed as you waited for him to return. He climbed into the bed beside you and like a magnet, you immediately scooted right up against him and kissed him gently, it caught him by surprise.

“Thank you for letting me sleep in, baby. That was exquisite.” You confessed and he smiled and pecked your lips again.

“Of course, baby. Anytime.” He smiled. “I do have a question for you though…when are we going to have another baby?” He asked you and you giggled.

“Ummm, ask me in a year!” You laughed.

“A year?” He scoffed.

“Hey, it’s hard work!” You added and he smiled.

“Yeah, but it’s so worth it, isn’t it?” He asked with a smile and you sighed happily at his response.

“Yeah…” you hummed, “It’s all worth it.” You smiled.

“Our little family makes me so happy, I just want one more.” He said and you glanced into his eyes.

“Just one more.” You agreed and he chuckled.

“Yeah, just one.” He assured you, “So in a year I’ll ask again, okay?”

“Okay.” You sniggered and kissed him quickly again before you got the show going.

You were explaining a little bit about why you were suddenly so interested in this show without trying to give away too much of what you knew had gone down, thanks to your friends and social media. He easily got sucked into the narrative and when you both started commenting as you watched on you just got so happy that you could share something so simple together and then also something as huge and serious as a baby. It made your tummy flutter and swirl with love for him and you then realized that maybe it would be less than a year before you’d be trying for another baby and you were perfectly alright with that.

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[mizzcap]

you're not him

@b-l-a-n-k-d-r-e-a-m inspired this batch of HCs! Send your love to them! (I hope the tag worked!)

TW- Meltdown, Panic attack, Bullying, Mention of SA and Murder, mention of Jimmy (character), fighting

Actor! Jimmy x Reader

ACTOR AU: Jimmy is feeling distant and closed off- curly has even taken notice and brought it to your attention. Maybe this role was too much for a first role?

Continuation of Jimmy's last part

And yes, Curly's partner is a ACTOR AU! version of Y/N from the part 1 scenarios! They're referred to as (P/N)(partners name)

-Jimmy was excited to start the project. Him, Anya, and daisuke hit it off right away

-it made Curly so happy to see Jimmy coming out of his shell and becoming more and more comfortable around his co-actors.

-it made you happy to know that you finally could get your thesis done.

-you started noticing a few older guys in your film class hanging around to talk to Jimmy, though you chalked it up to Jimmy making more friends

-you knew the guys as dudes who kept hitting on Anya, though she couldn't care seeing as they didn't take it too far and well. Anya doesn't like men.

-one day, Jimmy just didn't show up to film a shot

-you had seen him in class that day, and around campus, so you knew it wasn't sick

-now that you thought back on it, Jimmy had become slowly reserved all over again- hesitant about any form of touch.

-so you went looking for him

"Sexually aroused by horses? Oh- so your a freak freak."

You paused up on hearing the familiar voice of your classmate, and the familiar line that Anya improvised one day during filming (truthfully it was funny enough to not only make the cut but encourage a retake because curly wouldn't stop laughing. His partner had to bring him water because he wouldn't stop wheezing)

You found the corner in time to see Jimmy practically curling into himself. Now, Jimmy wasn't small. He was in weightlifting with Curly since the 10th grade- (you learned that while texting Jimmy late one night talking to him before the first shoot)

With that being said

Jimmy hated confrontation. He wasn't a big fan of physical altercations- and only ever went as far as wrestling in the grass with Curly. (Which resulted in (P/N) scolding them for staining their dry clean only varsity jacket)

"What's going on?" You quickly butted in. Pushing past the two over grown men to stand next to Jimmy. Your side pressed briefly to Jimmy's though he was quick to lean away. He was tense, and looked a bit pale. What's wrong with him

"Just talking to Jizzy here-"

"Jimmy." you spat his name, correcting the rude ass boy almost immediately with a glare.

"-right.. we're just having a chat is all. 'bout horses and shit" the other guy laughed at his friend's comment. But the way it made Jimmy's fist ball up as a distraction from the uncomfortable situation, the rage boiled deep in your skin

"if that's all.." you pushed through grit teeth. "We'll be taking our leave now" you sneered and tried pushing past

The two boys whistled as you and Jimmy went past them "Go one now Jimmy boy- Master's callin'!" One whooped after he said that, the noise ringing annoyingly in your ears

You turned so quick the world felt dazed for a moment as you got up in the guy's face. His hot stank breath making you more pissed than before "you got a fuckin' issue, bud? Cuz we'll fix it." You snapped

"I don't, but maybe put horse fucker on a leash. Or not- maybe he'll diddle you next-" the man laughed in your face

The insult made your blood bubble and burst. In your peripherals, you could see Jimmy tense up at his words almost uncomfortably.

"fuck off man!" You snapped, shoving him back without properly thinking first.

You watched his red shoes stumbled back a few steps before sliding forward. Barely having time to process it as a stinging feeling ripped through the side of your face.

You whipped your head up at the man to strike back, only to be met with the back of Jimmy's head and his arm. Stumbling back a few steps as you watched wide eyed

The normally reserved and peaceful man- the one you would watch wrestle in the grass with Curly after shoots. The one who ever showed a hint of anger (though it was more confusion) when he and Anya could understand why Daisuke was winning (you're positive he was eating the game pieces), The man who you would eat being reassured by curly after every shorty that he was not his character..

You watched the same man's fist sink into the center of your classmate's face- a loud crunch sounding as his nose was crushed between his face and Jimmy's fists.

+-+-+-+

"it's not that bad" you sighed, sitting on your coffee table and holding a small mirror as Jimmy looked at his reflection.

a bit of blood seeped into and crusted on his scruff that he grew out for the sake of you movie. His bottom lip was puffy and split open on one side. An ugly bruise on his cheek spread to his eye that had nearly shut. While his nose has started bleeding- it was still bruised and banged up. On top of that his knuckles were raw and red from the fight.

Truth be told, you weren't in the best shape either. Your nose has started bleeding from that initial punch from the guy. And your sides ached from where you got hit.

The guys tried ganging up on Jimmy, and you tried jumping in to help.

"on a good note... I think I kicked them hard enough so one won't have kids" you chuckled, but Jimmy didn't reciprocate your enjoyment of the joke.

You paused for a moment, then silence almost suffocating

You grabbed the Gauze and Neosporin as scooted towards the edge of the table, your knees barely brushing against his

"here- I can-" "please don't"

You watched in shock as he tore his hands away from your own, grimacing at the touch

"Jimmy wha-...?" You furrowed your eyebrows and shook your head in confusion "what's going on"

When he didn't respond you pushed more

"Jimmy, you've just been acting weird- I tried talking to curly but he doesn't know either- is it the role? Jim, if it's too much you don't have to continue-" he yanked his hand away when you grazed your fingers over it accidentally.

You blinked in surprise

"What if they're right?" Jimmy choked out, head in the heels of his palms as his fingers curled into his dark brown locks. "What if I'm just like him- and that why I play him so well?"

"What?- oh.. Jimmy-"

"what if I end up like him- end up hurting everyone- hurting Curly-- he's like my brother man- I can't hurt curly" he choked on a sob.

"Jimmy.. I-" you sighed and ran your hand over your head as you tried to think of proper wording "This-.. you're feeling upset about playing a fucking horrendous character. That's completely normal- Seasoned actors have a hard time playing a role like this- You're a first time actor, for you to be thrusted into acting- having to play- y'Know.. it's normal to be upset or unnerved, but you have to talk to us, you can't just suffer in silence"

Jimmy shook his head, lifting it to meet your eyes with his dark, bloodshot ones. "But Those guys-"

"Drew and Max are pissy because you get to work so closely with anya- meanwhile they're barely allowed in the same proximity as her" you crossed your arms

"but-"

"are you sexually attracted to horses?"

"..what?"

"are you?"

"no-"

"have you ever...?"

"God no! I'd cut off my nuts before I'd ever-"

"ew dude! TMI" you giggled, grinning as he slowly sported a small smile

"and as far as I'm concerned you haven't off'd anyone or been a 'Manipulative Conniving Dictator', so you're fine" you heard him snort at the dictator part

"I just-"

"Jimmy- look at me" you slowly took his hands in yours- your eyes searching his for a moment as you drew circles on the back of his hand using your thumb "You're not him"

+-+-+-+

BONUS:

"Found you n Jimmy on the couch this morning" Anya hummed as she ate a granola bar, helping you build a medical bed by simply holding the screws

"We watched a movie last night and fell asleep- talked for a bit before hand but nothing happened" you muttered, hunched over a rod as you screwed it to the bed frame

"talked? Like when I hear you giggling at 2 am on the phone with him?" Anya has a lazy, teasing grin as she stared down at you, her tongue sticking out from between her teeth as she quietly giggled

Your ears felt extremely hot, and your heart felt like it stop

"shut up!"

You playfully picked up a piece of foam and threw it at Anya's legs

+-+-+-+

YAYAYYAYAYAYYA! up next will be part 2 of Anya x Circe reader, then imma do part 2 of curly, then part 2 of Daisuke!

[strangespector]

You Said You’d Be Here

Summary: Conflicting schedules, a broken promise and physical altercation that leads to disaster

Words: 1013

TW: Slight violence that happens by accident. Nothing major, but you have been warned.

Falling in love with Jenna Ortega was like stepping into a dream. I met her at a small meet and greet session for her book launch, in a dimly lit café. We hit it off immediately, our chemistry undeniable. The early days of our relationship were filled with laughter, late-night conversations, and stolen kisses. Jenna was everything I had ever wanted—talented, kind, and full of life.

However, as her fame grew, so did the demands on her time. She was constantly traveling, recording, and performing. The time we once had for each other dwindled, replaced by hurried phone calls and fleeting text messages. I tried to be supportive, understanding that this was her dream, but it was hard not to feel left behind.

Our first big fight happened after she missed my birthday. She had promised she would be there, but a last-minute opportunity to perform at a high-profile event came up, and she couldn’t turn it down. I spent the evening alone, my heart aching with disappointment. When she called to apologize, I couldn’t hide my hurt.

“You said you’d be here, Jenna,” I said, my voice trembling. “I know your career is important, but so is our relationship.”

“I’m sorry,” she replied, sounding exhausted. “I didn’t want to miss it, but you know how important this performance was.”

“It feels like I’m not a priority anymore,” I confessed. “Like I’m always coming second to your career.”

Her silence spoke volumes, and I knew then that things would only get harder.

The fights became more frequent. I resented her growing fame and the way it seemed to pull her further away from me. She, in turn, felt trapped between her love for me and her passion for her career. The tension between us grew unbearable, and we found ourselves arguing over the smallest things.

One night, after a particularly heated argument, things escalated to a level I never imagined. Jenna had just returned from a press tour, and I had planned a special dinner to welcome her back. She arrived late, visibly tired and irritable. When I tried to express my feelings, she snapped.

“You don’t understand!” she yelled, her eyes flashing with frustration. “I’m doing this for us, for our future!”

I tried to stay calm, but my own frustration was bubbling up. “It doesn’t feel like it! It feels like you’re doing it for yourself, and I’m just an afterthought!”

Jenna’s face twisted in anger. Without warning, she grabbed a heavy candle holder from the table and hurled it at me. I barely had time to react, and it struck me on the forehead. Pain exploded through my skull, and I stumbled back, feeling something warm and wet trickle down my face. Blood.

Jenna's face immediately changed from anger to horror. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her voice shaking as she rushed toward me. “I didn’t mean to—”

I held up a hand to stop her, my vision blurring. “Just... just stay away from me,” I managed to say, my voice cracking. I couldn’t look at her. The betrayal, the physical pain, and the emotional wound were too much to bear.

I went to the bathroom, dabbing at the cut with a wet towel, trying to stop the bleeding. Jenna stood at the door, tears streaming down her face. “Please, let me help,” she pleaded.

I shook my head, unable to meet her eyes. “No, Jenna. This... this is too much. I need to go.”

Her sobs followed me as I left the house, my heart breaking with every step. The realization that our love had turned toxic was undeniable. I knew then that we couldn’t continue like this. The break turned into a breakup, and just like that, our relationship was over. The heartache was overwhelming, and for weeks, I struggled to move on.

But time, as it always does, began to heal my wounds. I started focusing on myself, rediscovering passions and hobbies I had neglected. Slowly, I began to find joy in the little things again. It was during this time that I met Sabrina Carpenter.

Sabrina was different from Jenna in so many ways. She was grounded, attentive, and genuinely interested in spending time together. We connected on a deeper level, our relationship built on mutual respect and understanding. Sabrina helped me realize that while Jenna had been a significant part of my life, she wasn’t the only source of happiness.

One evening, as Sabrina and I sat on the porch watching the sunset, I felt a sense of peace wash over me. I had loved and lost, but I had also grown and found love again. Jenna would always hold a special place in my heart, but I knew now that moving on was the best thing I could have done for myself.

Years later, I ran into Jenna at a charity event. She looked as stunning as ever, her presence still magnetic. We exchanged pleasantries, and it wasn’t long before the conversation turned personal.

“I’ve missed you,” she admitted, her eyes filled with regret. “I didn’t realize what I had until it was gone. I wish things had turned out differently between us.”

I felt a pang of sadness, but also a sense of closure. “We both had to follow our own paths,” I said gently. “I’ll always cherish the time we had, but I’ve moved on. I’m happy now.”

Jenna nodded, a bittersweet smile on her lips. “I’m glad you found happiness. You deserve it.”

As Sabrina joined me, her presence a comforting reminder of the life I had built, I introduced her to Jenna. There was no jealousy, no lingering heartache—just a sense of acceptance and peace. We had all grown in our own ways, and while our paths had diverged, they had led us to where we were meant to be.

Sabrina turned to me and smiled, her eyes filled with warmth. “You know, I’m really glad we found each other,” she said softly.

“Me too,” I replied, squeezing her hand. “Me too.”

[sanyu-thewitch05]

Yandere! Idol! group x F! Reader

Honey 🍯

TW: Buttplugs, kidnapping, noncon, food kink, throat fucking, gangbanging

Pt. 2

A/N: This idol group is entirely made up and not based off of any group in real life.

"Haneul, you've been staring at your phone for a while. Are you ok?" Sol, Haneul's groupmate, asks, tapping Haneul on the shoulder.

Haneul's beige skin shines in sunlight, his black hair blowing in the wind, and his cheeks blushing so heavily that there are two red dots. Haneul had been stalking you since he became a trainee. 

"Is it that coffee girl again?" Jason questions, leaning his head over the passenger's seat. "Dude, you've been stalking her since she was 15. We're both 22 now. Just ask her on a date already and make her ours. Besides, it would clear up the nasty rumor saying that she's a sasaeng."

"I suppose I should. We do have to write a love song for our album, right, Jason?" Haneul suggests showing Jason, Sol, and Honey a photo of you walking home.

"Driver, turn at this road," Sol says, looking at your location from the GPS tracker in your earrings.

"Yes, sir," The driver says, making a hard right.

"Stop next to the girl in black," Haneul says, seeing your earrings glimmer in the sunlight.

A black van screeches to a halt next to you, and suddenly, you're pulled inside. You try to scream for help, but a hand goes over your mouth, preventing any sound from leaving. 

"Shh, sweetheart~ You're ok now," Sol whispers, rubbing your head.

Haneul shuts the door and rubs circles into your thigh.

"How are you doing, sweetie?" Honey asks, buckling you and wrapping a tight arm around your waist.

"Who are you people?!" You scream, making Jason disappointed.

"How could you not recognize us? We've been around you since we were trainees. We even wrote several songs for you. How could you not notice us?" Sol rants, making you cling to Haneul's arm.

"Sol, stop it. You're scaring her!" Haneul scolds, holding you in his arms.

Sol's navy blue hair practically stands up, and he turns away from Haneul. 

"You brutes are all scaring her. I can't believe you guys couldn't get her in the van besides kidnapping her. Don't worry, baby, I'll keep you safe," Hani says, kissing your tear-stained cheek.

"Don't touch her like that! I saw her first!"

"Shut up, Sol! Does the word OURS mean nothing to you?!"

"I don't want to hear that from the punk who tried to ask her out!"

"Neither you nor Haneul can talk, Sol! Especially when one of you had plans to keep her chained up in your room!"

The idol's argument turns into a physical altercation, and soon enough, they're pulling hair and throwing punches. All you can do is cover your head and cower near the car door.

"ENOUGH!" The lady in the passenger seat screams, turning around to face the idols. "EITHER YOU SHARE Y/N, OR NOBODY HAS HER, AND I LET HER GO!"

There's an awkward silence in the van, and the idols slowly let go of each other.

"Yes, Manager Choi," The boys say, fixing themselves up.

"I knew letting you guys move to America was a mistake," She says, turning her head around. "Hey, stop crying. You might as well get used to them. You've become the fifth member of the group."

You cry harder and feel your heart sink.

~~~~~~~~

"Ta-dah! Welcome to the Hive!" Honey says, opening the door to their three-level house. "Upstairs is your and Haneul's room. To the left of yours is mine. Then, to the right are Sol and Jason's rooms. We have our own bathrooms, but feel free to come use ours if you want company."

You shuffle into the room and see the memorabilia from award shows and events. The air has a sickening sweet smell, almost like honey, that makes you nauseous. You feel the bile in your throat build up until you can't hold it anymore. You run to the nearest bathroom and vomit until your throat burns.

"Our queen is sick. I'll get her a spoonful of honey to make her feel better," Hani says, walking to their kitchen.

"Get it all out, sweetie. You'll be okay," Haneul says, rubbing your back and pushing your hair behind your ears.

Your face rests on the toilet seat, and Hanuel moves you so you're on his chest.

"Hani, hurry. Her face is turning pale!" Sol yells, running to your side. "Haneul, get her near the toilet again."

Your eyes roll into your skull, and your vision goes dark.

~~~~~~~~

"Mm," You groan, waking up to Hani rubbing your feet.

"Hello, my queen. Are you feeling better?" Jason asks, moving a piece of hair out of your face.

The smell of honey overwhelms you, and then you see the bee pajamas you're wearing. 

"Don't worry, we didn't do anything dirty. Sol only changed your clothes and brushed your teeth," Haneul says, kissing your left cheek while Jason kisses the right. "How does our queen feel?"

"Let me go!" You scream, only to have your limbs restrained by each group member.

"Aww, I think our Queen Bee needs a good fucking to calm her down?" Haneul says, climbing on top of you and unbuckling his pants.

"Stop it!" You scream, making Haneul silence you with a kiss.

Hani hands Haneul a honey jar, and the black haired member covers his cock in the golden sweet treat. He opens your mouth and sticks his dick into it. Haneul slowly thrusts and has to restrain himself from throat fucking your mouth off as he feels your tongue unconciously lick the honey off his cock. Drool goes down your chin as Haneul deep throats you, and the lustful male thrusts faster, hitting the back of your throat. He sends cum straight down your throat, and slids his dick out of your mouth.

"How cute. Our queen is all calm now that she has some honey in her," Hani says, wiping some cum off your mouth. 

The sweet taste stays on your tongue, and you stare into space, not noticing the other boys unbuckling their pants. Soon after, another cock enters your mouth, followed by another one. They move in synch as they thrust into your mouth. Sol and Jason grunt as the friction from your mouth and their dicks touching each other. Their hands wrap around each other's waists to steady their pace, and they thrust faster. 

"Come on, Jason, Sol. Your cocks need to fill up our queens mouth," Hani says, spanking Jason and Sol's asses. "Come on, cum like the mindless sperm drones you are!"

The two members twitch in pleasure, and they cum from your mouth. A pool of cum forms in your mouth, and you swallow it. Hani hands Jason, Sol, and Haneul a stinger butt plug, and they cum, putting it in as it goes further. Hani does the same, and his cum spills out of his pants.

"Us busy bees need to get to work creating more honey," Hani says, leading the boys away as they try to mess with the butt plug for another round of cum.

[in-class-daydreams]

My One and Only (Sebastian Sallow x Reader)

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x Fem!Reader (Established relationship) Synopsis: It's seventh year and you're exceedingly happy with your loving boyfriend, Sebastian. Having had enough excitement for the rest of your time at Hogwarts, you both were happy to sit idly by and spectate the Triwizard Tournament. Only, that's not what the universe has in store for you. Notes/TW: Another installment in the Headmaster's Kid MC universe, because I love the drama. MC sort of has PTSD from the Ranrok thing, but it's not described in detail nor is it called such in the story.

You were in the Slytherin common room, leafing through Goblets, Goblins, and Gobstones: An Anthology of Magical Folklore. It was a gift from Sebastian from before either of you realized you loved each other. Back then, he couldn’t name the warmth in his chest whenever he saw you, but his regard for you was so great, he gave you a treasure from his childhood, the book of stories his mother used to read to him and his sister as children. Even though you were now utterly devoted to one another, you still liked to bring it out from time to time. It was as if his mother’s love extended to you, who never had anyone who felt like real family. The House of Black was not the most hospitable of bloodlines.

“She’d have loved you,” you remembered Sebastian saying. “You’re clever and funny and your brand of love is so similar to hers.” You liked to think that in your love for Sebastian, you returned a piece of his mother to him.

“Black!” Imelda shouted from the front door. “Your boyfriend’s gotten himself into another fight!”

You looked up, more than a bit confused. Since things had quieted down, neither you nor Sebastian had been getting into brawls of any sort. If there was one thing you’d learned about him over the years is that he always had a reason for doing things. You might not have realized that, considering you met him during arguably the worst year of his life, but now that it was over and Anne was cured, he was his affable, happy self. Even more so when he found out you loved him back.

Tucking the tome beneath your arm, you rushed over to Imelda, who led you a short distance to a hallway where a small crowd had gathered and Professor Weasley was already marching your boyfriend away from the scene.

You hurried to follow at her side.

“What happened?” you asked.

Professor Weasley sighed. “Yet another physical altercation. I thought you were done with these, Sebastian.”

Sebastian, face still red with rage, looked stubbornly forward. You noted his split brow and darkening bruise on his cheek with a frown.

“He normally is,” you insisted. “Please, professor, can we hear him out in private first?”

Professor Weasley was a reasonable woman, and she knew it was true that you and Sebastian both had been on your best behaviors since Anne was cured. The two of you had a happy, quiet peace together without goblin rebellions and cursed sisters, and the most exciting thing you did nowadays was play highly competitive games of Summoner’s Court. Some people wondered if you ever missed the excitement, and you’d reply that while you enjoyed a good challenge, you’d gladly give up being in constant peril for the rest of your time at Hogwarts.

Weasley relented and led you into a spare room away from prying eyes. You sat Sebastian down and set to work patching his wounds in a practiced routine.

“Sebastian. Lovey.” His hard stare softened at the endearment.  “Tell us what’s wrong, please?” you asked gently.

Sebastian took a deep breath and it became apparent that he wasn’t withholding the information, he was previously too enraged to explain.

“Yaxley and his band of idiots put your name in the Goblet of Fire,” he said through gritted teeth.

You let the information sink in, only for your blood to drain from your face entirely. With your luck, you had a highly likely chance of being selected to represent Hogwarts.

Since you’d accepted Isadora’s power to cure Anne, your magic had been permanently altered. You had returned to the Keepers, apologizing profusely and insisting that you were willing to return the power to keep it contained away from anyone. Given the fact that you were integral to stopping Ranrok and you surprised them by being willing to relinquish such power so easily, the Keepers tentatively forgave you. Though, you suspected that Professors Fitzgerald and Bakar were particularly softened by how you only took the power at all for Sebastian’s sake. One did not simply cast the Killing Curse in defense of a mere friend. You would know.

But even after the dark magic left your body, your own magic had become altered. More lethal, more sinister. You managed it just fine in the day-to-day since you yourself had no sinister intentions, but if the tournament put you in danger, you could not promise that your magic would stifle its lethality.

Professor Weasley was just as enraged as Sebastian.

“They what?” she raised her voice. “Did they succeed? Or was it only an idea?”

Sebastian’s head hung low and he rested his elbows on his knees. “It’s already been done. I didn’t act fast enough. I’m sorry.”

Disregarding your own panic, you hugged him close.

“Oh, Sebastian, don’t be,” you assured him. “I’ll manage. I always do.”

Sebastian looked like he wanted to say more, but you turned to address Professor Weasley.

“I don’t suppose we can get my name out of the Goblet, can we?” you asked.

The professor shook her head sadly. “I’m afraid not. The contract is magically-binding. We simply have to hope that someone who actually volunteered is chosen, not you,” she replied.

It was concluded that Sebastian would get an obligatory detention for starting a physical fight, but it would be short, and he’d be allowed his books, so it wasn’t much of a punishment. It was highly generous of her, and you noted as much. On her way out the door, Weasley smiled over her shoulder, stating that, “Had I been in your position when I was a student, I might have done the same.”

Afterwards, you helped Sebastian back to the dormitory. One of Yaxley’s group had gotten in a lucky shot to his leg and left him limping slightly.

“Sebastian,” you said before you parted ways. He turned towards you and you took his face in your hands. You pressed a butterfly kiss to his nose. “Thank you for trying to protect me.”

He furrowed his brow. “Trying isn’t good enough,” he stated.

“It is for me,” you replied gently. “No one’s ever been behind me one hundred percent until I met you. I grew up so alone and I always felt so unwanted.” You stroked his cheek with your thumb. “The fact that you care is plenty enough for me. So, don’t worry. Even if the Goblet of Fire spits my name out, I will manage, because I have you.”

You pressed a goodnight kiss to his lips and headed to bed. You thought Sebastian’s weak kiss back was because he was tired and distracted and, well, you were half right.

Several days later, you gripped your boyfriend’s hand as you all sat in Beauxbatons’s equivalent of the Great Hall, impatiently waiting for the Headmistress to draw a name. The large room was lavishly decorated, like a dining room in the Palace of Versailles.

Anne, Imelda, and Natty sat in front of you while Ominis and Poppy sat to your left. They looked at you with worry, having been updated on the situation. You all knew full well that the universe greatly enjoyed putting you at the center stage of great peril, and while you were honest with Sebastian that you’d manage, you were exhausted. Dueling was fun for a challenge, fighting for your life was tiresome.

You squeezed Sebastian’s hand under the table. He gave you three pulses back, eyes never leaving the Goblet. He was more tense than usual, and you assumed it was out of concern for you.

The Beauxbatons Headmistress went onstage with great ceremony, giving a spiel about the history of the Triwizard Tournament and what an honor it was to represent the school in such a rich tradition of joint relations between the three schools. She had a heavy, lilting French accent and had a stately aura about her not unlike Professor Weasley.

The Goblet’s blue flame turned red and spit out a singed piece of parchment, which the Headmistress caught and read aloud.

“The Durmstrang Champion is…” she paused for effect. “Sava Peycheva!”

Their student body erupted in cheers and applause as a tall, powerfully-built girl with long dark hair shook the Headmistress’s hand and waved to the crowd. Unlike you’d have been, she seemed completely at ease, as if her victory was guaranteed. You could respect someone confident in her abilities to that degree.

Sava took her seat and the Goblet’s flame turned red once more. Taking the parchment, the Headmistress announced the next champion.

“The Hogwarts Champion is…”

The darker part of your magic sang, eager to be put through its paces, but you felt a lump in your throat. You had been willing to use lethal force once, but only because of what was at stake. The idea of harming anyone now was enough to make you sick to your stomach.

You white-knuckled Sebastian’s hand and you all held your breath when the Headmistress spoke, loud and clear.

“Sebastian Sallow!”

[oculiaperticlausi]

Junior tilts his head to the side, his eyes focusing on her features. He knows if he dares to glance anywhere else all the memories will flood back. She played him like a fucking fool and left him in the dust, proving his father right. He was nothing. He could be nothing. That's when Michaelson took him in under his wing and made him to be one of the best underground fighters in New York City. Despite the fact his father would never know what he was capable of, he was able to prove it to himself and the woman in front of him was the one who changed who he used to be. He would have fucking done anything for her. He shakes his head as he glances toward the door of Pink Paradise before lunging forward, grabbing her by her neck and shoving her up against the brick wall. "You don't want to fuck with me," he hisses under his breath as he leans in, his face inches from hers. "You'll get in the fucking car and drop this little fucking act of yours. I was fool once, I won't be one again."

@brightstvrlights

Fresh from her shift, Addison slings her oversized coat over her shoulders and pushes on the front door to Pink Paradise. The brisk night air is a welcome change from the suffocating mix of smoke, mist and sweat from inside and she takes a moment to close her eyes and inhale for a fleeting moment before a voice in the darkness makes them shoot open again. The brunette had hoped it was just some strange coincidence earlier; there was a possibility a different Junior Fowler existed here right? Wrong. One look at his face and she knows it's the same one. Shit. What are the fucking chances? She thought she'd made a clean break. What's the fastest way out of here?

All the while her mind races, she paints a polite smile across her features, busying herself with retrieving her cigarettes from her bag. Had she smoked in front of Junior back in New York? Shit. She's overthinking it. Just act your ass off, Addison. It's what you do best. "Sorry, not me honey," Addison replies sweetly. "But while you're here, have you got a light?" @oculiaperticlausi

[lostgracestories]

What am I to you? - Sukuna x Reader

Okay, so this was the winner of the most recent poll that I did to get ideas and it took me a couple days to get to it cause I got a little busy but I hope you enjoy this!

tw: really angsty, VERY minor physical altercation (reader gets pushed), female reader, also Sukuna. Because he's his own trigger warning.

wc: 1.2k - also not proof read.

pt 2

How long had this been going on… How long had it been since this all started…? You stared across the room at Yuji’s body, now adorned with Sukuna’s markings. You had graduated 2 years ago and never had issues with Yuji losing control of Sukuna in high school but now here he was, standing in your living room. 

You and Yuji were roommates for the sake of saving money. Neither of you had any feelings for each other. You prayed that Yuji would never discover the nature of these meetings between you and Sukuna.

You and Sukuna had been meeting almost daily to talk. It startled you the first time because he was so threatening, however, you slowly began to lose the fear of him. It had been so odd though when he first met with you. He had been watching you read and write poetry and claimed he was amused that you shared one of his interests. That was then, this is now.

You and Sukuna had argued recently. A few months prior to this meeting, he had made the mistake of getting too involved with you. He had allowed you to fall for him by mistake and he had allowed you to kiss him. The night after that had sparked a fight. You desperately wanted to understand the relationship the both of you had. He had threatened and insulted you then he disappeared from your life, ceasing all meeting with you for three whole months. That is until now.

“You’ve been toying with me, brat”

Sukuna starts the conversation, irritated and angry. You furrowed your brows as you looked at him. What was he talking about? If anything he had been toying with you.

“Excuse me?”

You meet his tone with the same attitude, except you seem a little more irritated than him.

“If I recall you’re the one who stopped meeting with me for a whole 3 months because you were butt hurt that I wanted to know what we are!!”

You shoot up from your spot on the couch and storm over to him, your feet thunking against the wood floor. When you reach Sukuna, you jab your finger into his chest and practically scream at him. Sukuna just stands there in shock. If it had been anyone else, he would have sliced them up by now for even looking at him funny. But why did he always refrain from doing that to you? What was it about you?

“YOU don’t get to say that I’ve been toying with you!! If anything, I’ve been playing your stupid little games since these meetings started!!!”

Sukuna looks at you, his eyes narrowed but he can feel a sinking feeling in his stomach that betrays how he wants to feel about you right now. He wanted to convince himself over the three months that these meetings were unnecessary and he owed you nothing but truthfully, those 8 months felt like years. It irked him so deeply that he had to confront you about it. You had done something to him. Not the other way around, your anger was unjustified to him. And yet he couldn’t open his mouth to speak.

You stay silent for a moment before looking directly up into Sukuna’s eyes, searching for something in him that cared, but his barrier stayed up. His barrier was so thick, hiding his true intentions, he was a master at hiding his intentions and giving into bloodlust. A frown replaced the anger in your face when you realized you couldn’t see through him. You kept your eyes on his, still searching as you spoke quietly and softly.

“Why did you let me kiss you that night… Am I just a toy in one big game to you…?”

Sukuna feels his chest tighten and holds his breath as he looks into your eyes. Unlike him you were an open book. Looking into your eyes was like pouring alcohol onto a deep wound. It made his face twist up into an unreadable expression for a moment after you spoke.

He didn’t owe you a response and yet… he couldnt stop his lips.

“No”

“No what Sukuna, no I’m not a toy?”

“No you’re not. You’re confusing”

Sukuna’s words catch you off guard and you furrow your brows again as you keep your gaze trained on him.

“I’m confusing…?”

“I feel suffocated being near you”

You go silent again for what feels like an eternity before he breaks the silence.

“You have put a spell on me woman”

You scoff in disbelief, is he still toying around with you? Could you really believe anything he said?

“I have not”

“It is the only explanation for the tightness that burdens my chest near you woman! You have bound my soul to you to bend to your will!”

You burst out in laughter finally, you have never heard the king of curses become so desperate. You were beginning to realize the nature of the situation. You figured that he had never been in love before and this whole concept was new to him. You pursed your lips, thinking of something to say while Sukuna looked at you like you were crazy for laughing at him.

“You laugh at my suffering woman?!”

“Sukuna, I haven’t put a spell on you. That tightness in your chest is a reaction to loving somebody. If you had wanted to cut contact with me that night you would have never returned to me in such a sour mood. You thought of me those entire 3 months”

Sukuna glared at you for even suggesting that was the case. He shoved you away from him to get distance and the sinking feeling struck him again along with an instinctual urge to pull you back to him.

You stood there, looking at him in shock. He could have done way more than push you but that push irked you to the very core of your soul and your expression soured once again.

“You know what, fine. Be that way! Go back to hiding in your prison inside Yuji’s mind! I don’t care what feelings you have for me, figure it out yourself and don’t talk to me again! I don’t want to meet with you ever again!”

Sukuna looked at you, angry and dumbfounded that you were demanding him to do things.

“You have no authority to demand things of me woman! I do what I please!”

“I DON’T CARE”

Your scream causes his jaw to clamp shut. He had never heard you so angry before. He grumbled a curse to you under his breath before traveling back to Yuji’s room and laying his body down in the bed, swapping out with him so that he wouldn’t become suspicious of why Sukuna was standing in front of you who was so angry.

You on the other hand grabbed your keys and left the house, slamming the door behind you. You didn’t know where you were going but you needed to get away from the house to process your anger and frustration. You walked to your car, unlocking it with the keys and quickly pulling open the drivers side door, getting in and driving away.

[baronessvonglitter]

if love be rough with you, be rough with love | chapter 16 | "all i want for christmas is you"

Dave York x f!Reader

Word count: 5,473

Summary: Years later, you run into Dave on Christmas Eve.

(Spoilers are in the Warnings under the cut so please peek responsibly)

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, Time Skip, TW for physical altercation (pushing, choking, pinning down), alcohol consumption, talk of weapons, hinting at reader being killed, mention of chemical paralytics (NMBA's), surprise pregnancy (happened after Chapter 15) and revelation of paternity, mention of wetwork, reader has C-section scar, wears a dress and nail polish, masturbation, pussy pronouns, p in v sex, quickest enemies to lovers ever, and one Christmas Eve marriage proposal (if I've forgotten anything please do let me know)

Author's note: I defrosted Mariah Carey earlier than anyone would like her to be, and yes I was listening to this song as I wrote. I don't care. It's one of my favorite Christmas songs ever and nobody can convince me otherwise 😜

Series Masterlist

dividers by @saradika-graphics 👑

Six Years Later

You step out of your car into the cold St. Louis night. It's Christmas Eve, and the streets are lined with snow. Brightly lit storefronts boast presents of all kinds, the electric glow of the holiday season luring in last minute customers. You keep your hands in your coat pocket as you walk, eyes scanning the perimeter.

Pour Decisions, the bar you've owned for the past couple years, is filled with its usual patrons, the atmosphere friendly and charged with holiday cheer. Checking to see that the staff is doing well and everything is in order, you ask for an old-fashioned, enjoying the warmth that spreads through you as you sip the whiskey cocktail, sitting at an inconspicuous table in the back and looking around at the one thing you can really call your own, the only place that doesn't hold bad memories.

That's when you see him enter your establishment. The man who claimed to have loved you with all his heart. The man whose life you destroyed. The man without whom you wouldn't be where you are right now.

Walking to the bar and sitting by himself, drinking to take away the pain, is Dave York.

It feels like all your breath leaves your body yet you give an audible gasp. He doesn't see you, doesn't even appear to be looking for you.

In your darkest nightmares he returns for you and kills you. You carry that fear with you. You've been preparing for it since the day your plane left for London years ago.

Emergency exit to my right you think to yourself, a habit you've formed in the six years since ruining his life. Glock, switchblade, syringe, you do a mental checklist of what you have on you.

You don't know whether to stay or leave. You're rooted to the spot, keeping an eye on him, poised to take whatever action necessary.

The jukebox finishes "Baby, It's Cold Outside" and moves onto "All I Want for Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey. You cringe at the sudden mood dissonance. This song would've expressed your feelings for him, once upon a very long time ago, but now it's almost comical. You want each other in a different way now: gone, even if it means dead.

Dave sighs and takes another sip of his drink, clearly lost in his own thoughts. He looks at the other people around him, some smiling and drinking to make the pain of Christmas a little more bearable, others in town for friends or family, eagerness evident on their faces.

He'd give anything just to be in their place right now. To be happy. To be able to smile like he used to smile. And it was all taken away from him by you.

Suddenly he hears someone calling out your name over the music.

In fact, he's been waiting for it. His head jerks up to see where you are, but he can't find you. His eyes scan the bar from face to face.. until finally he sees you. You're sunk low in your chair but he knows you immediately. He knows those eyes that have haunted him for years.

You're nodding and talking to your friend, and the moment you nervously glance around you meet Dave's gaze. It feels like pinpricks all over your body.

For one moment the world stops. All of the moments of his time with you come rushing back as he looks at you. All of the joy he felt with you, all of the pain you caused him. For a moment he allows himself the memory of your pliant body beneath his, your soft, slender throat beneath his grip, thumbs pressing just hard enough on your windpipe to make you cum.

What a waste, he thinks, keeping his cold gaze on you.

You talk to your friend a little longer then finish your drink, order another, and down it.

Now you have liquid courage to face him.

You approach him but it feels like you're moving underwater, your limbs fighting the current.

And there he is. There you are. After six years apart. He hasn't changed much in all this time. He's still handsome. A few gray hairs here and there, and a slight scruff of facial hair when he'd always stayed clean shaven. Still wearing a suit like he's just left the office, the subtle scent of his cologne wafts to you. It suits him. But you force the thought away. You take stock of your own looks: burgundy sweater dress, black boots, hair styled differently from how you used to, perhaps in the hopes that disguising yourself would throw him off your scent, confuse him and leaving him chasing his tail.

"Fifty thousand dollars," you tell him. "I'll give you fifty thousand dollars to leave."

He says nothing, just staring at you as he hears the offer.

Fifty thousand. That's all it would cost for him to let you go. Fifty thousand dollars to spare your life.

But..

..is that what he wants, really?

"No," he says firmly. "You can't make it up to me with fifty thousand dollars."

Your heart sinks to your stomach. "Then name your price. Whatever it is I'll pay it."

Dave takes a long sip of his drink as he considers your offer. For a moment he's tempted to accept it, to end this nightmare once and for all. But..

..no. It's not a question of money.

"The price is a hell of a lot higher than that," he says with cold finality. "You destroyed my family and you left me without my soul."

In your time on your own you've learned to be assertive. You're no longer the shy, simpering girl he used to know. "You did that to yourself, Dave. I only held up a mirror to show what you really are. Besides," you give him a devious smile, your words dripping with venom, "we both know you have no soul."

"Maybe I don't," he meets your gaze with unwavering ire. "But neither do you.. you destroyed everything good and beautiful that we had."

He takes another long sip, savoring the taste and savoring this moment where he's dissecting you. "You can try to blame me. You can try to make yourself the victim of this story. But you're not the victim. You're the monster. You're the one who brought darkness into my life when I didn't deserve it. When I gave you nothing but my love and my faith.. you used them to destroy everything I held dear."

"I disagree." You hop onto the barstool next to him, unafraid of him. "The real victims are my father, who you killed, and your wife and kids, who you betrayed. We both lost our families, Dave. I evened the score."

His eyes bore a hole into your soul as you speak. "That's the thing you can't seem to understand, sweetpea. Life isn't a zero-sum game. One person's loss is not another person's gain. You didn't 'even the score' by getting your revenge."

His voice turns cold and harsh as he speaks the truth. "You made a choice to try to destroy me. That's something I can never understand. And you'll never be forgiven for."

"I'm not interested in your forgiveness, David," you correct him. "You're the one in my city, in my bar, looking for me. With you, there's always an ulterior motive. Out with it."

And then he smiles at you. It's a cold, hard smile. "I came here to see you. So we can end this."

You stare into his eyes and wear a sardonic smile. "You mean, so you can end me."

"Yes," he answers simply.

You consider getting another drink, but two old-fashioneds on an empty stomach has you feeling good already. Maybe that's why you're not afraid.

"My late husband owned this bar, and now it's mine," you say, looking around with pride and wistfulness. "I met him here, years ago."

"Husband," he repeats in a dull tone. "Did you ruin his life too?" he asks.

"Well, he is dead," is your deadpan reply and you hate that your heart misses a beat when Dave smirks in reply. "It would be bad for business if you were to kill me in my own establishment, at peak holiday season," you remind him, proud of your practical tone of voice.

"You may be right about that," Dave admits. "The customers would scramble out of their seats, trample each other to get to the exits. In this day and age you know I'll be caught on camera. And that's not good for my.. 'business'.. either. But," he adds with a grin, "that doesn't mean you're safe."

"I've been looking over my shoulder ever since I came back to the states. I was surprised you didn't follow me to London. In the meantime I've just been waiting for the day when you would come and exact your revenge."

"That's exactly what I've come to do," he says coldly. "I made a promise a long time ago that I would never forgive you."

He takes a long drink and looks at you as if he's seeing you for the first time. "And now, the time has come."

You can see it in his eyes. You can see the darkness that now resides there, different from the one that used to excite you. It's Dave, but it's not the Dave you used to know.

A chill goes through you. You nod, knowing this day is long overdue. If your father faced death at the hands of Dave York, so can you.

You put down your glass, the whiskey still on your lips. "I'm glad it's you. Poetic that way." You stand up from your seat, surprised that your knees don't buckle automatically. "Outside," you tell him.

In the darkness of the alley behind the bar, your coat offers no protection from the cold you feel in your heart. The back street is empty. You look up at the stars in the night sky, feeling small in their midst.

This is it.. the end of it all.

He looks at you and sees the same calmness that he saw in your father. He sees that you've accepted your fate without fear, and he can't help but admire that.

"You know.. I thought about it a lot as I came here," he says. "What I wanted to do to you when I found you.. and what I wanted you to feel in your last moments."

You languidly turn to him, as if in a dream. "So tell me."

"I wanted to make you suffer. I wanted to see you beg for mercy, to see you plead for your life." His smile is cold and cruel. "But you're not scared, are you, sweetpea? Either you're as tough as I believe, or your self-preservation instincts are for shit," he sneers. "Even now, you're calm.."

Your placid countenance belies your shivering heart as you stand against the wall, deep breath in, deep breath out. "How are you going to do it?"

"You really want to know? You trust me that much?"

"You're the best, right? I'm glad it's you." You smile a little, shaking your head. "I loved you from the first time I saw you, Dave. I've loved you all this time. I love you right now."

He almost laughs. It's comical to hear you talk about love at a moment like this. "And I've hated you for all these years. I hate you for what you did to my family. I hate you with every fiber of my being.."

His voice turns to a whisper. "And I hate you because I still love you."

A brief smile flickers in your eyes. "As you once told me.. 'If this is love, we're both fucked.'"

Dave seems reluctant now, as if he's had a change of heart. You love each other, despite everything, and even now you're willing to let him just take your life, snuff it out with a single blow.

"Don't disappoint me, York," your voice pierces his thoughts like an icy blast. "Don't tell me you've come all this way for nothing. Not when I've been getting ready for you."

In an instant he pins you to the wall, his weight pressing you into the bricks as his hands wrap around your throat. Your breath comes in labored gasps as you fight to free your arms and legs. Despite your efforts, Dave is physically stronger. He's methodical, using his strength to subdue you rather than overpowering you with brute force. You can feel the desperation rising, your struggle becoming more frantic as you wrack your brain for any possible means of escape.

In a moment of clarity amidst the chaos, you find a small sharp object in your purse - the syringe. With a burst of adrenaline you jab it into the soft area right below his ribs, keeping your thumb off the plunger.

He lets out a sharp grunt and loosens his grip, staring dumbfounded at the needle sticking out of him, your finger hovering over the end, ready to press the danger into his bloodstream. "Let me guess," he says, his breath warm against your face. "Propofol? Rocuronium bromide?"

"Air," you answer with a winning smile, your voice hoarse from his choking you.

He swallows thickly, face pale even in the wintry moonlight.

You've never felt a surge of power like the one shooting through your veins right now. "I'd say my instinct for self-preservation is pretty fucking good."

Right as you see that angry spark in his eye you take advantage of the temporary adrenaline rush and push him away from you. Dave stumbles back, pulling the syringe from his torso and tossing it away right before you crash into him again. You both topple onto the cold wet pavement, grappling with one another, and it doesn't escape your realization that it's all an inverted display of the way you couldn't keep your hands off each other years ago.

You're unaware that the contents of your purse have fallen out in the scuffle, until Dave pins you down and notices the knife, the gun, neither of which you bothered to use on him just moments before. Then the bright light of your phone screen illuminates its presence in the shadowy alleyway.

Your wallpaper is a picture of you, holding a small boy who's smiling as you're kissing his cheek.

Still beneath him, your stomach lurches and you scramble for phone. "Give that back!" But Dave doesn't listen.

"You have a child?" he asks, completely bewildered that he hadn't thought of you having a life apart from the history you have with him. You'd mentioned a husband, but not a child.

The photo is lovely, taken recently as he guesses from the similar hairstyle as you have now. He's a beautiful child, with his mother's eyes. The love between mother and son is palpable, something pure and sweet that he has only experienced with his own children. It takes the wind out of him. He looks at you and all of the anger, all of the hate and rage he felt towards you seems to dissolve like salt in water.

Your heart is near palpitating as you take the phone from him, gently wiping the falling snow from the screen, taking a tiny moment to admire the photo for yourself. "The last night we spent together in that little motel room.. before everything happened.. a couple months later I found out I was pregnant."

It takes every ounce of courage you have to confess this to him: "This is Benjamin.. your son.."

Dave is paralyzed by your revelation, utterly unable to move or even breathe as he stares at the photo, puts the pieces together. He sees his features in his son, the perfect combination of you and him in another being, a little boy who is the culmination of your love.

He sees you as he never saw you before. You're not the woman who betrayed him and destroyed his family. You're the woman who gave him a son, a part of himself that he never knew would exist.

"He's beautiful," he murmurs, drinking in this moment, helping you to your feet as you struggle to stand, asking if you're all right but you don't answer him.

You've never envisioned how this would go. Not even your late husband knew Ben's real paternity, just that you needed stability to raise him. A part of you is on edge. You've just revealed the person who means the most to you in this world, and in one moment Dave could take it away.

"He just turned five in September," you tell him, "That night.. that terrible and wonderful night before I left you.. something good came from all of it," you tell him.

He nods. "I guess it did." He looks at the picture once more. "Where is he?"

You take a moment before answering. "He's at home. A friend of mine is watching him."

"I want to see him."

"You already have kids, Dave. Or have you forgotten them?"

"Don't go," he pleads as you start to walk away. Around the corner you can hear the holiday music blaring from the bar. "Last Christmas" by Wham!

"I want to see him," he says, catching up with you. "Please."

Being a mom has made you soft. And the truth is you spent the majority of your energy in your short scuffle with him moments ago. "Follow me home."

"Leave whatever weapons you have in the mailbox."

You wait on him, arms crossed, ensuring your safety before you let him beyond your threshold. Dave puts his semi-automatic pistol and a knife. He had these on him all the time but didn't use them..

"Now you," he says, watching as you put your own gun and knife into the mailbox. One corner of your mouth lifts up into a half-smile as your eyes meet, realizing you've both thought alike.

Inside your home it's cozy. A brightly lit Christmas tree glows with warm golden light in front of the main window in the living room. Dave looks around, taking it all in: the decorations placed with love and care, the presents piled under the tree for Ben - his son - to open the next morning.

A woman, clad in a soft gray sweater and jeans, comes out from the hallway, carrying little Ben in her arms. "He couldn't sleep without you here," she tells you, her glance jumping quickly between you and Dave.

You take him from her, letting her know you're home for the night and giving a quick introduction to Dave. "This is Paige, she helps me with Ben from time to time."

They exchange hellos, a little awkward under the circumstances. You take Ben in your arms, and he immediately wraps his arms around you. You wish Paige a happy Christmas and she leaves.

Now it's just the three of you. "Can I hold him?" Dave asks.

You hesitate before nodding, asking Ben if he's okay to go with him. Watching him with his father you can see the resemblance, plain as day. "Is he what you looked like as a kid?" You ask curiously.

"I think so," he smiles, still amazed that he's holding his child, a piece of him that he left behind with you for so long, your love made real.

Ben is bathed and put to bed. Dave knows everything about him by now: his birthday, favorite foods, his friends in his kindergarten class, the names of his stuffed animals and favorite superheroes. All this Dave takes in with the same interest he had when his daughters were younger.

He even reads him a bedtime story while you watch from the doorway, watching a scene you never imagined would come to life. Ben has Dave's smile, his hair. It's uncanny. You remember when you first started working for the Yorks, the first night you walked in on him reading to the girls before bed. That was the moment you fell in love with him.

It might be happening all over again.

After he's asleep you sit in the living room, sipping coffee spiked with brandy.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" he asks.

You sip your drink, letting it warm the chill that's going through you, hoping it'll dull the overpowering emotions coursing in your veins. "I was afraid you'd come after me, kill me, and take him away."

"Is that what you think of me? That I'd kill you for our son?" For a moment he actually looks hurt.

"I don't know what to think of you."

"I deserve to be in his life," he says stubbornly, and you get a peek of the old Dave from before. "We can put the past behind us. We can get reacquainted. We can be what we should have been all along. He belongs to both of us. And I want to be here for him." He pauses, seeing the photos on the table and walls: you and Ben throughout his young life: on a beach somewhere with pure white sand, at a zoo posing in front of the zebras, and in every picture it's obvious he's loved.

"You did a good job with him, sweetpea. Our son is happy."

"He was my reason for going on," you tell him. "I was still in London when I found out I was pregnant. At first I thought it was the worst possible thing that could happen, but when I really sat down to make a decision I realized there was no other option but to keep him and love him. I knew a miracle could be reaped from the awfulness we sowed."

You raised him alone, mostly, with some help from your mother, who of course asked who Ben's father was. There was absolutely no way you could tell her, so you simply said it was a boyfriend who'd wanted nothing to do with the baby. After getting your Master's you found yourself here in St. Louis, met Liam who cared for you and your child, and lost him to sudden illness only a year after you married him. And every day you did not stop thinking about Dave.

"I assume you're still involved in your.. activities?" you ask him.

He takes a deep breath, mentally going over the jobs he'd done in the past six years, of which he'd taken more than before you'd left. Not only had he needed the money, but he needed something else to keep from thinking about you.

"Yes, I am," he replies. "I know you were hoping for a different answer than that."

"I was hoping for a different answer, but I wasn't expecting one," you tell him. "And the situation with Carol and the girls.. did she leave you? Did you work things out?" You hate that this is the answer you dread the most.

"We're divorced now," he says curtly. "And the girls.." an actual smile melts away his bitterness. "The girls are great. They're teenagers now. We've worked out a custody arrangement and we're keeping things civil for their sake. They adapted better than I thought they would."

"Do they all hate me for what I did? For my part in the affair?"

He pauses. "It's complicated.. the girls know why you left. I haven't given them any details and I doubt Carol has told them anything they shouldn't know. But you shouldn't blame yourself. It takes two to tango. I'm just as guilty."

You've finished your coffee, and just as you start to rise from your chair you pause, giving him a smirk. "Dave.. calling yourself 'guilty' after everything you've done is probably the funniest thing I've ever heard."

He takes your hand as you try to walk past him. "What would you say if I said we should be together for Benjamin's sake?"

You should have seen this coming, should have known he'd attempt to ingratiate himself into your good graces to keep some control over your life. "I've already done that. I married my late husband so that Benjamin could have a father.. I'm not going to go into any more relationships under false pretenses."

There's something more he wants to say, something that he wants to get across to you. "A lot of my life is gone. Lost. Because of what you did."

"I know. And I can say the same about you. We took each other's lives away."

"But you," Dave continues, "you gave me this. All of the happiness you took away, you gave it back to me in a way I never would have dreamed." He takes your hand in his. "And what if this isn't false pretenses? What if I'm asking because I know.. because we know, you and I are meant for each other?"

He knows he's getting ahead of himself. He's letting his emotions and his desire take over.

But you shake your head. "You only want me because I'm the one left standing in the ashes."

"You're partly right," he agrees. "I want you because you're right in front of me now. That's just natural, I'd say. But I always wanted you, sweetpea," he says with total honesty. "You were always the woman I loved."

"Fucked up people always love other fucked up people," you remind him. "And you and I are the most fucked up people I know,. Weren't we just about to kill each other in an alley?"

"Maybe you would have killed me.. but you didn't. And I could have killed you.."

"I get it, I get it," you playfully roll your eyes. "Am I your first failed mission?"

"Yeah, but.. definitely worth it."

He manages to get a smile out of you, and as he pulls you close he rejoices that you don't pull away. When he brings his lips to yours for a kiss, you don't stop him. You come together as fluidly as if you'd never been apart all this time, and you kiss him back hungrily, having missed his taste.

In the bedroom your appetite only grows stronger as you unbutton Dave's shirt, running your hands over the warmth of his chest. He lifts your dress over your head and you continue to unwrap each other. Your eyes take in every inch of his frame, seeing that he hasn't changed much in six years. His side job keeps him fit and he's kept his little belly that you've always found so attractive.

He reaches for you, takes your curves under his touch and gently kneading your soft flesh. "I missed you so much.." he whispers as you gasp with pleasure. "Missed what's mine." As his hands trace your skin he discovers the small scar on your lower abdomen, nearly hidden by the softness of your own little belly.

"What's this?" he asks, noticing that his touch doesn't seem to register there.

"It was Ben," you explain. "I had to have an emergency C-section."

His fingers trace over the scar, imagining the pain you must have gone through, the fear you must have felt. "I should have been there with you."

"I'm not made of glass, Dave." Breaking from him you lay back on the bed, legs parted as you begin to touch yourself, lifting your eyes to meet his dark gaze as your fingers continue their pleasured work across your delicate folds.

"Open wider," he says in a low command, crawling over you on the bed, watching intently. "Make yourself come."

He follows each dip and swirl of your fingers, the tips painted in red glitter lacquer, as they brush across your clit, disappearing into your already drenched cunt.

"How does that feel, sweetpea?" he asks, his voice husky with lust.

"Good," you moan. "But not nearly as good as you." You reach for him, and though he wants desperately to dive into your sopping wet hole, he practices control.

"Not yet," he says gently, chiding you. "I said, make yourself come."

He watches as you add pressure to your clit, your pussy swallowing up your middle and ring fingers while your other hand palms your breast, twists and pulls your nipple. He's never seen you more gorgeous, chasing your pleasure. The scent of your sex is in the air, beckoning him, and it takes every shred of his self-discipline to keep where he is, cock in his hand, lazily stroking as his dark eyes dance with the vision of you spread out before him, coming at last.

He takes his time about getting inside you, and though you're slippery enough to handle him it's still a tight fit after years apart. He's careful until you ask him not to be, and then he fucks you with smooth, steady thrusts, bottoming out as you arch your back, crying out his name, the sound of your flesh slapping together a perfect symphony with your moaning and his praise in your ear my good girl, missed this pussy so much, needed her all this time, and she needed me, gonna tame her, make her mine all over again.

He moves with you, as if he's connected to every beat of your heart. This is the only thing in the world that feels right, no matter how wrong it is. You can't not love him, You've never felt more like yourself, realizing that he brings it out of you. The air between you becomes electric, frantic, your movements desperate and wild.

"Come for me, sweetpea," he whispers, taking your bottom lip between his teeth. "Let me feel this tight little hole get her fill of me."

It's a fucking relief when you finally come, the moment prolonged as he continues to move, stimulating your clit beyond your point, only letting up when you forcefully shove his hand away. Watching you come is a miracle made true, something he never thought he'd get to experience again, and he comes with the final clench around him, keeping him there, keeping him home.

You're both vulnerable, perhaps for the first time, with each other. There are no more secrets to be had, no more devastation to wreak. Just you and him, and an ocean of possibilities before you.

"Can you forgive me?" he asks, meeting your eyes. "For what I did?"

It's weighed heavy on your mind since the day you learned the truth, and you've come to realize that all the tragedy did was allow you to move on, even if it brought you to have to face your past more clearly.

"Yes," you answer. "I do forgive you. And now you have to forgive me."

It's easier to do that now, now that the walls you both built up have been knocked down. "I forgive you," he echoes. "We'll never bring it up again."

There's a clarity you never imagined you'd receive, a gift that's long overdue after the years of being in limbo. You snuggle to him, pressing a kiss his throat.

"I thought about you every day, sweetpea," he whispers. "And maybe I'm crazy, but.. marry me."

You're at a loss for words. You open your mouth to speak but nothing comes out. "What.. what did you say?" you ask slowly, usure if you even heard him right. "Did you ask me to marry you?"

"I did," he says assertively. "So? Will you marry me?" A little smirk crosses his lips and there's a light in his eyes that you've never seen before.

"I'm just so.. stunned," you sit up against the headboard and he does the same. "Why would you even want to marry me? Don't you remember everything that happened?"

"I remember everything. I remember it every day. But like you said, 'fucked up people always love other fucked up people' and look at us: still crazy about each other even after we've ruined each other's lives. There's nothing for us except to be together."

"You sound so certain," you look at him with a conflicted smile. "Are you really sure this is what you want? To wake up every day and remember what happened and who we are?"

His smile lights up his whole face. "I'm counting on us to remember who and what we are. If we forget everything that happened between us then we've learned nothing. But now we're standing in the ashes of our old lives and look at us: we won. If anything, that just proves we're supposed to be together. We know all the bad parts of each other and we still choose to be here."

Watching him, and listening, you become convinced. You can't ignore the truth of what he's saying. "I'm gonna marry you, Dave," you tell him, your voice full of love and joy.

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taglist: @untamedheart81 @guelyury @auteurdelabre @darkheartgatita

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Tw: hate crimes, transphobia, pretty traumatic things Yves went through in his youth, body modification, violence, gore

Yves had breast augmentations before.

He had never truly identified himself as a woman, but he liked how certain dresses would look on him if he was well-endowed up top. He felt pretty and content with how he looked in front of the mirror after years of severe self-hatred.

It allowed him to bring back a bit more cash, but this wasn't his main motive to go under the knife. In fact, this observation disgusted him. Yves purely wanted a larger chest because it personally made him happy in his bleak bubble.

Though, it wasn't worth the sudden uptick of harassment and maltreatment from others around him. Men would predictably attack him every time he blinked, act entitled towards his body, and fucked him over in more ways than he could count. As if there was a massive bullseye target was painted onto him after he graduated from no bra to a C cup.

But what surprised him was that the women degraded him much worse than the men. They used to be indifferent to him at best, silently disgusted at him for being effeminate at worst. But as soon as he showed up with a feature that brought him closer to passing as a Cis woman, Yves lost almost all of their neutrality. Sometimes, they would set him up to be harmed by other men. Their hatred for Yves wouldn't be discrete anymore, they would call him hurtful names and slurs, accusing him of being a depraved sexual predator, even get into vicious physical fights with him, and end most nights with clumps of ripped hair and blood.

It was dangerous to reveal that he perceived himself as male while looking how he always desired to. So he lived a good chunk of his life under an identity that doesn't match how he felt inside. Yves had to train his vocal cords to sound feminine enough to not attract any more negative attention than he already had by existing somewhat authentically. He likes accessories that cover up his Adam's apple while flattering his form, Yves also likes styling his hair so that it takes the attention off his masculine features; covering his jaw and concealing his neck.

It was only when he caught himself in a particularly horrible altercation that his implants ruptured, spilling its silicone contents into his body and poisoning him slowly. But that wasn't as horrible as when he limped to the mirror right after merely escaping being beaten to death. He could ignore the wounds, bruises, and swelling, those can heal.

Yves was reduced to tears when he saw that he was ugly once more. His breasts were deformed and strange lumps started appearing elsewhere on his battered body. He couldn't afford to remedy it and neither was he mentally strong enough to handle the torment he was to face the following days. All his beautiful clothes are simply a reminder that he's a freak, an abomination of nature so atrocious, that the world tries everything in its power to kill despite Yves doing nothing except existing.

He swapped his stylish and gorgeous tops for baggy sweaters and turtlenecks. Anything above the shins was thrown out, likewise for clothing articles that revealed more than his face and hands. Gone, all of it must go. With a heavy heart and eyes puffy from incessantly crying, Yves burnt them all.

Yves was powerless back then. If the world didn't think that he deserved to wear it, then he simply had no right to. And he hated it, they made him feel like mere dirt no matter what he did. He couldn't do anything for himself without being unfairly punished for it.

He has moved on from that stage in life. He had matured and found peace within himself. Yves had fixed himself and he had learned how to let go. It's been a long time, the details are hazy to him now, and that is probably for the better.

But only if you knew what he went through, you would understand that he wasn't vacantly staring out of disapproval when you told him you wanted to have breast augmentation, just like he did when he was a fucked up young man. The long period of silence coupled with his empty emerald eyes unwaveringly trained onto yours wasn't due to judgment of your desire, but it was to manage whatever the fuck you dug back up he buried inside him by asking that one damned question.

After an uncomfortable pause, he would seemingly snap out of it and go ahead to tell you about all the risks that might come with it. In the end, he appears neutral, even supportive of the idea if he deems it beneficial to your self-esteem. All this while, you would never know about his own experience with it, Yves doesn't see the need to disclose it to you.

He had learned to let go of the past, making him see everything through an unbiased lens. You are not him, and you will never go through what he had to.

Yves makes sure of it.

[egrets-not-regrets]

Dandelions and Yarrow (2)

Despite the arid conditions and the hardened ground, these plants are still able to survive.

Amelia calls her mom and decides to go home. Alcyon rages out on a mission then goes home, only to find a note and Amelia missing.

**Any dialogue in the Gothic language is bolded and italicized.**

Chapters: One, Two, Three,

Author’s Note:

Goodness, this chapter took a while to write, but finally it is done! There is more to come.

TW angst, threats, some lewdness (Slanneshi Blood Angel, what else can I say?)

Just a few points:

This takes place before Ben/Malaran “Orca” Blackspike storyline.

Amelia is bonded to Alcyon, a chaos Iron Warrior. These two share an intense bond that teeters on the point of becoming a mate bond.

Alcyon has a pretty good grasp of the english language. He usually communicates with Amelia in english and other Astartes in Gothic.

Thanks to @squishyowl for the divider image!

Song Inspiration: Take me back to Eden by Sleep Token

OCs: Alcyon (chaos Iron Warrior), Amelia Plover

Tagged: @shadowfirecat, @kit-williams, @bleedingichorhearts, @barn-anon, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan

@sleepyfan-blog, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @bispecsual, @ms--lobotomy

Amelia dialled a number which she hadn’t dialled for a very long time, “Aunt Mara? Mom?”

“Amelia? Oh sweetie! I haven’t heard from you in so long! I missed you so much... Are you alright?” Mara stopped when she heard the hiccups in her adopted daughter’s voice, “What happened dear? It’s okay to tell me. I’m here for you.”

Amelia started sobbing, “Mom, I fucked up so badly!”

Mara cooed soothingly, “It’s okay. You can tell me what happened. We can figure it out together…”

She heard Amelia struggle to steady her breathing, blurting out words in between punctuating sobs, trying to tell her the events culminating into the massive fight she had with Alcyon short of their physical altercation.

Mara’s heart broke for her daughter. Niece, if being technical, since Mara had adopted Amelia after her sister’s and her brother-in-law’s death in that car accident so many years ago.

Mara knew Amelia didn’t have the easiest time in her marriage and she wasn’t too happy about her daughter being in such close proximity to her in-laws to be honest, snooty bunch ultra-religious coots they were. But it seemed that her son-in-law had broken out of the religion and they were happy enough, and happier still when Amelia gave birth to Ben.

Luckily, Mara was able to see Ben grow up for a while. Despite the distance, their little family had made a few yearly visits to Gannet Point, and she visited them whenever she was able. All that stopped about three years ago when her son-in-law bonded with a space marine. She had met him once. He was a Black Templar, big, quiet, polite enough, but wholly cold and intimidating, so very different from Nemoth Bassanar, the Dark Kraken space marine who had taken residence in her hometown. Mara wasn’t quite sure what to think about the templar, but she hoped that he was kind and a good addition to their little family.

Unfortunately, the appearance of the bonded Black Templar marine started what seemed to be a series of events that led to the divorce. The fact that the Black Templar had bonded with her son-in-law had only increased the in-laws' religious fervor, demanding that Ben be raised in the ultra-religious household. It was rather unfortunate that her son-in-law seemed to cow to his family’s demands and rarely stood up for Amelia. Mara completely disapproved of that attitude, but was helpless to do anything else.

Then things started going further downhill when a chaos Iron Warrior followed Amelia home one day. Which had Mara actually getting into a nasty argument with the in-laws on the cruel things she overheard them say about her daughter when she visited. Needless to say, she wasn’t allowed to visit any more. Amelia and her ex divorced eventually, perhaps all for the better, but it hadn’t been easy as the family was convinced that she was going to corrupt Ben because she bonded with a chaos Astartes. It didn’t make sense, there were plenty of people who had bonded with chaos space marines who had no issues whatsoever.

As for the chaos Iron Warrior her daughter bonded with, Alcyon; Mara hadn’t met him yet. The one time she visited Amelia after her divorce, he had been on a mission. She just hoped that he would treat her daughter well and be her protector.

This whole mess of events made just seemed to be the culmination of everything that happened within the last year. And it broke her heart knowing that this would mean that they may never see Ben again. Perhaps Nemoth may have some suggestions on how to deal with this issue or point them in the right direction? It also wouldn’t hurt for Amelia to be around some friendly familiar faces. She’s been trying to get Amelia to come home for a while now.

Mara gently suggested, once her daughter had finished her story, “ Why don’t you come home to Gannet Point and stay however long you need. You know home is always open for you.”

Amelia smiled, quickly using the tissue in her hand to blow her nose, “I… would like that.”

***************

This mission couldn’t have come at a more opportune time. Angry and frustrated at what just transpired between Amelia and him, and irritated by the aching of his torn bond; Alcyon was just set to explode. Destroying wreckage, training and sparring with his brothers let off only so much steam. Everyone around him noticed Alcyon’s volatile mood and the fact that he was spending most if not all his time on base, though no one was dumb enough to comment after one of his battle brothers joked about him being locked out of the house after a lover’s spat during sparring and was sent to the medical ward with a broken arm and a bad concussion posthaste.

They had been tasked with bringing down a blood den that some fallen Blood Angels had formed. A blood den in itself wouldn’t have been an issue. The fact that Blood Angels require drinking human blood was pretty much an open secret at this point, it wasn’t exactly a well-kept secret with how much baseline humans liked to talk about it, given how common it is to see bonded Blood Angels.

Most blood dens that were set up tend to have baseline humans and the occasional Astartes going there seeking pleasure and/or relief and in turn being drunk from; like a well-run pleasure business. Keep customers satisfied and they would return for more, which in turn kept the Blood Angels fed and sane.

With the odd feral (usually of fallen to chaos Blood Angels) blood den, there are usually a few missing people involved, sometimes those lucky enough to be let go reappeared in some random place: weak, dazed, and confused. But this particular den of fallen Blood Angels had started targeting bonded humans.

They were psykers, not powerful ones (luckily), as reports noted, and were under the influence of Slannesh. Indulging in lust and pain of killing a hapless victim wasn’t enough once they discovered the effect of killing a bonded human. To feel the psychic backlash that a broken bond causes to both bonded parties and to its breaker was an overload of pain and sensation. It was like an addictive drug to them.

With Steelix Fortress being the closest base to the den, Alcyon and his chaos-aligned battle brothers were sent to exterminate them as these Blood Angels were deemed too far gone to be worth keeping alive.

Of course why not use chaos to fight chaos? At least that’s what it felt like, when they were given that assignment.

His squad of chaos battle brothers largely stayed out of his way as they each were let loose with their own heretic Blood Angel to hunt. There were no human serfs or thralls as the IXth Legion would call them, luckily. Otherwise it would have been a much more messy affair.

Alcyon arrived at one of the Blood Angel’s lair. The first thing his sight honed in on was the woman the fallen Astartes was drinking from. Was she… She looked so similar to…

Amelia.

The broken bond pulsed, causing the muscles in his back to seize slightly. He let out a low growl, “Let her go.”

He stared intensely at the claw and bite marks all over the woman's body. No, those were not his marks. That was not Amelia.

The woman moaned weakly. Still alive.

His tormented mind heard Amelia’s voice.

“Let. Her. Go.” His growl grew louder, more threatening, his rage building.

A wide grin came over the Blood Angel when he looked at who the Iron Warrior was staring intently at. “Oh her? Is she yours? She’s beautiful by the way, and her blood is most appetising.”

The woman whined in pain when the Blood Angel sucked on the open wound in her shoulder. He chuckled, “Her despair was incredibly satisfying. That look of betrayal when she realized the friendly Blood Angel is nothing but a farce is such delicious inspiration. These baselines are so easy to fool.”

“And your bond…” he breathed deeply, “It tears in the most delightful way, the pain from it was so profoundly stimulating.” He groaned, palming his crotch.

Alcyon stood there, silent, letting the Blood Angel monologue on, but inside, he was seething with anger.

Annoyed at the lack of reaction, the Slanneshi Blood Angel’s face fell into a petulant pout. He carelessly dropped the woman to the side, who collapsed into a boneless heap, “You Iron Warriors, are all the same: dull, boring, with no sense of art or flare.”

He then stared straight at Alcyon and started laughing hysterically, “Oh… I see now… Your bond is torn! Just not with this woman!”

The Blood Angel got up from the couch and stalked towards him with a predatory grace, “What happened? Your woman not satisfying your needs? A lover’s spat?” He said, grinning, not missing the way Alcyon’s fist tightened around his chainsaw handle. “Perhaps you’re the one not satisfying your bonded’s needs… Maybe I can assist with that… surely she would delight in someone who can take her beyond the limits of their pleasure and pain.”

Alcyon grit his teeth hard, furious at the Blood Angel’s audacity. The ache from the bond pulsed in his chest. He just needed the bastard to come within his reach; fuck using the chainsaw. That would just be a waste.

The Slanneshi Angel licked his lips, his eyes lighting up in anticipatory pleasure, “To watch the two of you suffer, watching each other as you lay dying and while I get to ravage her. Feeling your bond break and taste your despair. Oh, your final pain would be glorious! I can already taste it!” He pounced.

Alcyon had been anticipating that from him. Twisting to one side, he dodged the corrupted Blood Angel, quickly sweeping his leg causing the Blood Angel to trip and fall. He brought his heavy mechanized leg down on to the fallen chaos marine, hearing a satisfying crack as Alcyon’s full armored weight came bearing down with full force onto the vulnerable hinge of the Angel’s leg, breaking the ends of the bones attached at the knee joint.

Already half drunk from feeling the backlash from nearly breaking his earlier victim’s bond apart, the Angel only moaned in pain and ecstasy, then laughed; an ugly noise, “Jealous? I can teach you how to better use that mouth of yours. I bet she makes the prettiest noises with my tongue in her cun— grkh!” The heavy impact from the Iron Warrior’s boot to his gut drove the breath from his lungs as he was rising up.

“Shut up.”

Alcyon gave him no quarter, pinning the Slanneshi marine by the head and back, and tore into him, his metal claw ripping off the ceramite armor pieces and stabbing into the vulnerable flesh of his shoulder below. Blood gushed as muscle and sinew tore apart, the Iron Warrior’s claw digging past the scapula and to grab the humerus where it connected to the shoulder girdle. With a great heave, he ripped the arm right off the Slanneshi Blood Angel.

The Blood Angel roared in pain and flailed as he attempted to escape, splattering blood in every direction. Alcyon kept his full weight on the squirming Blood Angel and smashed his head into the ground, snarling, “Did that wake you from your drunken stupor?”

The Slanneshi marine hissed and bared his fangs at the chaos Iron Warrior, “You forget honour…”

“What honour? You have long sullied that, indulging Slannesh’s embrace!” Alcyon sneered in disgust, smashing his head into the dirt again.

The Blood Angel spat out dirt and blood, in pain, but grinning madly, “Yet you’re the one who sullied your own bond. What did you do, Iron Warrior? Did you…” he was cut off before he went into more lurid detail

“Do not. Insult me. You overindulging. Drunken. Psyker. Piece. Of grox shit!” Alcyon roared out, pounding the Blood Angel’s face harder and harder into the ground with each emphasis, not stopping, his grip tight on his scalp, his sight zoned in on the battered face.

“Brother Alcyon. Brother Alcyon!”

“What!” He snarled at whoever was calling him off his prey. The sound of buzzing insects filled his ears. The Death Guard in his squad, Polistes, stood by his shoulder with the unconscious woman in his arms, staring at the twitching body under the Iron Warrior’s heels.

“Half his face is sufficiently cracked if you intend to make scrambled eggs from his brain.” came Polistes’ joking comment, “We’re done here. I have the injured woman; finish up and let’s leave this place.”

“Fucking Slanneshi Psykers!” Alcyon spat as his heavy boot came down on the dying marine’s skull, splattering brain matter all over the ground.

Where’s Amelia? Was she hurt? Was she safe? Amelia. Amelia. Amelia. Amelia. His mind chanted as they left the blood den.

She’s fine. Probably still angry. There is no need to call… She’s not fine. What if… she’s fine… I don’t know that… Amelia… Alcyon could feel his bond pulse, his anxiety need to confirm her safety winning out. He called Amelia over vox, their fight be damned.

“Alcyon? What do you want?” Her voice, sounding exhausted, came over the channel.

“Are you safe? Are you home?” He blurted out. Alcyon knew should’ve said something to apologize perhaps, but couldn’t. In hindsight, he probably should have.

“Safe? Yes?” She sounded so confused.

“Good.” The Iron Warrior ended the call, the aching from his bond slightly abated. He needed to go home as soon as this was over. He needed to see Amelia in person and make sure his bonded was safe. She better not have changed the locks to their home while he was away… What was he thinking? Alcyon grumbled, even if she did change the locks; he could easily break in the door. Must be this aching that’s distracting him.

****************

Amelia looked at her phone strangely after Alcyon curtly ended the call. What was going on? A small part of her was glad that he checked on her, but the aches and pains in her body reminded her still to be wary of him.

She had planned to go to Gannet Point for a week and a bit to visit her adoptive mother and see the rest of home. Amelia missed her family, much more so now. It would be nice to see friendly familiar faces again. She called the base, telling the head tech that she needed to take time off to recover from the aftermath of getting banned from Ben’s school and to figure out what to do next. Which they had graciously granted.

Not wanting to risk another confrontation with Alcyon finding out where she was going, lest he decides to trap her here given his mood; she called the airport to book her ticket for the next flight out to Gannet Point.

Amelia then turned her attention to the damage on the wall and table. Sighing at the gouges, she diligently repaired the wall and the table, filling in the holes with wall putty and wood filler. She robotically moved from task to task: cleaning her home, throwing away her torn clothes, using up whatever food was left in the fridge, and packing a small suitcase of clothes and supplies for her trip.

After all was said and done, Amelia took a quick shower and sat in front of her computer. She pulled out a piece of paper and started writing a letter to Alcyon. Outside of letting him know that she’ll be away for a week and a half, Amelia wasn’t sure what else to say.

She did not want to tell her bonded Astartes, if they were still that, where she was going. Her birth home was her safe haven that she kept near and dear to her heart. The last thing she wanted was for Alcyon to come charging in to take her away and get into a fight with Nemoth, the Dark Kraken space marine who practically watched her and other children grow up at Gannet Point. Amelia’s heart felt sore; she was so tired and confused. It felt right for her to just get away from it all; go somewhere safe to lick her wounds and recuperate, and figure out what to do next. Yet guilt tugged at her chest, as if telling her that she should stay and work it out with Alcyon. Tears started to drop on the letter she was writing.

The sun just broke over the horizon when Amelia prepared to leave for her flight. She looked forlornly at the small box containing the pieces of the broken fish figurine, and in a last minute decision, packed it into her suitcase. A ping sounded as a text on her phone notified her of her taxi’s arrival. Amelia placed her letter on the table and left, locking the door behind her.

****************

Alcyon sensed something was off when he arrived at his shared home with Amelia. Her presence was fainter than normal, as if she hadn’t been home for at least a day.

His nausea started to build as he checked every room of their empty home. Everything was neat and tidied. There was no signs of a struggle nor signs of anyone else that may have snuck in. Alcyon stared at his claw marks in the walls and table that were filled and sanded. Even the fish statuette that he broke was cleaned up and likely thrown away. It was only then he realized that Amelia had not changed the locks on him. It was of little consolation when she herself had disappeared.

Where was she? Where was his Amelia?

A letter on the table caught his eye. His world narrowed with each neatly written gothic word he read:

Alcyon, I will be leaving for ten days. Don’t worry. It is safe where I am going. I just (the ink blurred there. He could smell the remnants of her tears) need to be away, to think about what I need to do next. I promise I will return. I lov- (she had scribbled out the last sentence.)

Amelia.

His lungs froze as if he had been struck by a beam from a Helfrost pistol. She left. Amelia left him. A chaos of emotions whirled uncomfortably in his gut.

No. She promised she will return in ten days. He only needed to wait ten days… what if she didn’t want to return? Bile rose in his throat. The Iron Warrior doubled over, throwing up into the kitchen sink. His metal claw dug into the counter, supporting his shaking shoulders as he turned on the faucet to wash his vomit down the drain.

Suddenly feeling suffocated by his heavy armour, Alcyon quickly stripped out of it and made his way to Amelia’s room. He hacked into her computer, searching through her emails, online messages, search history; searching for anything that would give him a clue, something, anything that could indicate where his bonded may have gone.

There was nothing. The Iron Warrior wanted to punch the computer through the wall in frustration, but had enough sense not too. A strange wave of exhaustion washed over him, a feeling he had rarely felt unless he had not slept in weeks. He was sure he had slept recently.

Alcyon looked at Amelia’s bed, a place he had shared with her plenty of times. It looked comfortable. It smelled like her. He laid down on her bed, falling asleep while breathing in her scent.

[byunpum]

The new member

Pair: Miles Quaritch (baby blue boii) x Human reader

tw: Recom squad, fluff, save pandora team, nothing special for the moment. This changes according to the chapter.

POV: Y/N is sent from Earth to Pandora to be part of a particular group of people…

p.s. This story is created after the ship altercation. Neteyam never dies, the sullys are able to run away, but spider decides to go with his "father" to the base. All recoms are still alive.

AVATAR MASTERLIST |Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

NOTE: Hello!!! I'm back with one of my stories, which I usually imagine before going to sleep XD. Actually, I had thought about this story, while I was writing the 'experiment 56' parts. You know this is a pilot, if you like it and I see that it has a good feedback, I'll keep going. From now on I warn you that I am not very expert in this Navi culture, but I did my best. And sorry for the spelling. English is not my mother tongue.

Protecting Pandora Association or by its initials PPA. The association dedicated to the welfare and conservation of pandora. Our goal is to make pandora our home, in a safe and healthy way. Respecting the life that already inhabits the planet. We want humans to be able to coexist and adapt to pandora. Trying not to make the same mistakes we made on earth.

"Are you serious Dr. Williams? The RDA is doing a good job here on Pandora," says General Ardmore, sitting in her office. This was one of the many quotes, complaints and scoldings that Dr. Williams had, towards the RDA and their inappropriate work in Pandora.

"A good job? General Ardmore, they are annihilating Pandora's wildlife and its creatures. Everything. They are supposed to be adapting, not attacking pandora" the doctor complained, the annoyance in his voice was palpable. "we can modify some things, but you don't have the right to question my work here in the RDA" says the general. Taking a sip from his coffee cup.

"Yes, I have all the rights I want. Because I am the director of the PPA, I am the one who signs the checks so that the RDA can continue to survive. And I'm going to make a lot of changes." Dr. Williams was very sure of his plan, and the disaster that was happening in Pandora was going to end.

General Ardmore kept silent, she knew it was better to keep quiet. The PPA was the association that sent money to the RDA to survive on Pandora, for their research and civilization on this new planet.

"Listen to me carefully because I am not going to repeat myself. You are going to stop every attack towards the life of pandora, be it towards the wildlife, the navis and when I speak of all the navi, you are also going to stop the attacks on the tulkun. EVERYTHING HAS TO STOP" the dr, Williams continues speaking. "In addition I am going to send a group of people who will be in charge of keeping an eye on your teams. And they will notify me of everything that is going on." General Ardmore, swallowed deeply and nodded her head down.

A Quaritch was sitting on his bed, as he analyzed some of the bruises on his arms. After the altercation he had with Jake Sully two months ago, he had gotten his non-son, 'Spider', to come with him to the base. The boy had tried to convince his "father" to stop chasing Jake Sully, but he was still analyzing the issue. He was in no physical condition to act and get into trouble.

He heard several knocks on the door. "colonel general Ardmore is looking for you" mansk says, as he peeks in the door. "did he tell you what he wanted to talk to me about?" asks Quaritch to one of his squadron members. "she didn't tell me anything, but she looks kind of upset" says mansk, walking away. Quaritch gets up and heads straight for the exit. He is surprised when he sees General Ardmore outside the rooms. " good morning general" Ardmore interrupts " we are going to have some changes here at the base… well at RDA".

"The PPA association wants to make some changes, and that includes sending staff to supervise our teams," says Ardmore. "With all due respect, but my team doesn't need any supervisors," Quaritch says with an annoyed tone. "But you will, it would be a new member of your team." Ardmore begins to explain everything to quaritch, what was going on and what was going to happen in the RDA. Ardmore hands him some documents, where it is written his new rules to follow. "This can't be," says Quaritch. "Believe me I don't agree with this, but they are the ones giving the money. So we have to play their game" Ardmore walks away down the hall. "The new member of your team arrives tomorrow" says Ardmore as he disappears from sight.

Damn protective association, and their damn rules. A new member, and them watching them all the time?. He wasn't going to stand for this. But he had to, he had no choice. Quaritch entered the common room area. All members of his team were there. "Good fellows…. We are joined by a new member" he says with a cheeky, sarcastic grin.

The RDA and PPA had greatly improved the technology of the transport ships from earth to pandora. Before it was 6 years to arrive, then it improved and was 6 months and currently it was a week. And there was Y/N getting up from her induced sleep. You were a little dizzy, and you were nauseous. The doctors on the transport ship helped stabilize you. And then they moved you to the recessed area, so you could get acclimated to gravity again. A noticeable change in the technology was the new exopacks, which were now super small tubes that were placed in the nose and the rest of the plastic tube was placed in the ears until it was connected to the oxygen machine at the waist. Your mouth was left uncovered, but the oxygen you breathed was enough to keep your lungs from collapsing.

You were transferred with other members of the PPA team, all of them human. You could see through the window how the sun was approaching on the horizon, while everyone was preparing to descend from space orbit to the planet. You had never seen anything like this before, you were in shock. You sat in your seat and waited for the descent to begin.

"Well team, today the newest member of our squadron arrives" says Quaritch, trying to sound positive. But the faces of the team members were something else. They didn't seem to have another member in the group, let alone one to supervise them. They had enough, with the scientists monitoring their new avatar bodies. "You don't know who it will be? Or what he looks like?" asks lyle, as he continues to get ready for the day. " I don't know, but I imagine it will be someone on our level" Quaritch tries to be funny, but manages to get the team to scoff a little. "That's enough… keep getting ready. I'll go to the welcome area and greet the new member" Quaritch leaves the room. "this is going to suck" says Soldier Lopez, as he laughs.

The landing didn't take long, and the entire PPA team arrived safely at the RDA facility. You were a little nervous, you knew what your mission was. You were an ambientalist who had just graduated, you were the youngest in your class. And even in this very team you were the youngest. Many could not explain why they recruited you, but your dedication and preparation got you here at Pandora. As soon as the doors of the ship opened, you were speechless. It was a beautiful landscape, you couldn't wait to investigate the place. Of course, they had already told you that you were going to be part of a group and that they were avatars. And that they were Marines and blah blah blah. You had confidence in yourself, but you couldn't lie… you were scared to death.

Outside the ship were the leaders of each team. They were all human soldiers, except Quaritch, his squadron were the only avatar recoms on the base. The other avatars still had their human bodies. Miles stood there, watching as a number of scientists got off the ship. To his impression, most of them were strong, tall and looked imposing, even some women were like that. He figured if he got someone like that, well… it would be good for the group.

"Colonel Miles Quaritch?" asked a manager." Yes, that's me," Quaritch said as he stepped forward. "Well, here's your new member," said the officer, standing in front of him was a strong, tall man. Quite a perfect soldier. "Nice to meet you" said Miles offering his hand as a greeting, to the boy, until the manager interrupted him. The officer takes you by the arm and pushes you in front of Quaritch. "Y/N…mmm member code 786. Yes, this is your new member." The man drops you in front of this very very tall blue man who was looking at you with a disappointed look on his face.

" Hello!!!! My name is Y/N, I am your new supervisor" he says with a wide smile. This must be a joke, it's the only thing that comes to mind. They just gave him a bunny." H-hello my name is" Miles tries to speak, until you reach over take his hand and give it a squeeze. " Colonel Miles quaritch, I know all about you, it's nice to meet you" you say without taking off your stupid grin. "Ahhh, it's nice to meet you" Quaritch tries to analyze you. You were small, you looked smart and if you could hold half your weight, that was amazing. He knew his team wouldn't like this.

"Are you sure I'm the team you're looking for?" asks Quaritch still in a state of shook. You look down at your papers, then back up at him. "Yes, look!!!" you raise your arms, so he can see the papers. Oh my goodness, you were adorable. Miles takes the papers in his hands and starts reading. "oh, that's right… well we have to deal with this chihuahua" says the man, and you look at him somewhat surprised. He just called you a chihuahua. "Well, y/n….follow me I'll introduce you to your new team" says Quaritch starting to walk inside the base. While he is walking, you were running.

He led you through the hallways, he was quiet. You were pretty sure, he was not happy with your presence. It's not like you are the ideal warrior, you would get fatigued if you ran for 10 minutes and that's if it was a good day. You just wished his team was nice. You had never been in a good group, they always pushed you away from the others, and didn't include you. " Are they nice?" you ask as you try to keep up with him. " No promises" Quaritch says as he keeps walking. Before long you arrived at the door to the bedroom area.

It was a huge door, as it opened you saw how big the place was. Well, for you it sure was big, but for them it was something of normal size. In the middle was a sitting area, in another corner some tables and board games. And all around were the rooms. Each one had the name of each member of the team, but what impressed you the most was the large window on the ceiling. You could see the whole sky of Pandora. And a beautiful illumination came into the whole area. In this area, were all the members of the squadron, they were sitting, they had comfortable clothes. Apparently they were waiting for you to arrive.

Quaritch entered first, and you followed him. All eyes of the members turned to you. You felt your breath stop, when you see how they are getting up and approaching you. "And this beautiful princess who is she?" says Brown as he looks you up and down. Lyle and mansk are whispering various things to each other. " Guys…this is new member" says Quaritch, and everyone gets quiet. " You're kidding, right?" says z-dog, the woman gives you a quick look. "Hey, slow down" lyle kneels down to be at your level. "Nice to meet you, gorgeous…what's your name" lyle, takes your hand and gives it a little kiss. " stop being flirty" Miles pushes him away, lyle stands up and gives you a smile. "My name is y/n" you speak shyly.

"hey, relax… we're not going to eat you" says mansk, as he sits down on the couch." Well come… I'll show you your room" Quaritch guides you to your room, when you get to the door you see that next to you is his room. "This is your room, it's set up for you, you know…it's all oxygen stuff. And you're right next to me. If anything happens let me know" Quaritch hands you the key to your room. "Take the day off, I imagine your suitcases will be arriving later. And don't worry, you'll get used to being here with us" Miles gives you a smile. "Thank you" There is a small silence between the two of you, until Quaritch shifts his gaze.

"I'll let you know when dinner is ready" You give him a smile. Quaritch had to admit, you had a beautiful smile. You walk into your room and he sees the door close. He feels someone tap him on the shoulder. "Wow Colonel…the girl is beautiful!!!" says Brown, shaking him a little. "Yes…she is very…" Quaritch fixes his throat, and pushes his roommate away. "Idiot" Quaritch walks out of the bedroom area. Lyle gives Brown a look, and they laugh.

p.s. If you like this pilot, let me know. That way I'll be encouraged to continue with the story.

The "I know I can change him" squad: @mechformers @cullenswife @littlethief78 @nieshiren @parasiiite @bxnnywriting @shelbythequeen @sassvy-blog-blog @shaylang21