#harry styles angsty one shot
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
A Surprise^**
Hello friends, thank you so much for your patience. I ended up having quite a disastrous day and it took longer to finish editing! But here is the one shot based off of this request. Hope you like it!
Warnings: TW! abusive partner: mentions of love-bombing, gaslighting/accusations of infidelity, verbal arguments, intimidation tactics (psychological and physical), physical altercation between M/F ( described, but more intimidating than violent or aimed to hurt), physical altercation between M/M (not described but the aftermath is mentioned, bloody nosy type of thing), mentions of law enforcement and law enforcement processes. Mentions of sex, unprotected sex, oral (M/F receiving), fingering, unplanned pregnancy, ultrasound procedure.
WC: 18.2K
You were nervous as you rode up in the elevator. You werenât claustrophobic or anything, so the feeling of it closing in on you was one you had no idea how to deal with. You were trying to keep your breathing as calm as possible and clearing your head of any irrational or negative thoughts, but it was truly a challenge. It had been a nearly a year since you and Harry had been in any space together and it was nerve-racking. What was originally supposed to be a month or two-long break, turned into all this time and distance. He said he wanted to talk and get some closure, which you thought was bull shit, and thatâs why you were so nervous.
Before âthe breakâ you and Harry had been dating for four years. Things had been going really well up until he started getting antsy to work again. Youâd moved to London for him and now that he was finally âoffâ you saw that he was jumping into the next thing he could. You understood that he felt like he needed to do something with his time but soon enough he was back in the studio for hours at a time while you just hung out at his house. You lasted a year like that before you told him that you couldnât do it anymore. You felt lonely in your relationship with him and you saw that he wasnât ready to slow down and settle a bit like he said he was before. That was the whole reason why youâd even moved to London for him. So when you suggested a little time apart to have him sort through his priorities he freaked out on you. But the following morning the tune was different, he was more open to this idea of taking some time apart.
You had assured him over and over again that you loved him but that you were ready for the next step and he clearly wasnât. He then assured you that you were the love of his life and that heâd take a month or two to just tie up all the loose strings with his current project and then focus back on your relationship. You even went back home to LA to give him all the space he needed. You checked in with each other a lot but when the two months were up you reached out and didnât get a response back until two weeks later. Much to your dismay it was just an âIâm sorry.â And with tears in your eyes you just deleted the entire messaging feed you had with him.
A few months later you were back on the dating scene. One of your co-workers set you up with her cousin, Steven. He came off as sweet, smart, and mature. He mostly had his shit together from what sheâd said and you had seen, so you gave him a real chance. Yeah, he was no Harry, but no one would ever equate to Harry, so you stopped comparing and got to know him for who he was. Soon enough youâd started to develop more feelings for Steven, he showered you in attention and time and affection, it was almost too much, you thought. But then you recalled that things had been so cold with Harry towards the end that maybe you just werenât used it anymore. It wasnât love-bombing, it was just a man who is interested in showing you what you meant to him. After two months of seeing him casually you started talking about the future, about starting a real, committed relationship. You talked about properly meeting each otherâs families and taking serious steps forward, you were gearing up to properly move on with someone who clearly prioritized you! And then Harry called.Â
He was jealous, you heard it in his voice when he called, but the fact that he was jealous pleased you in a way. Honestly, you thought youâd be so well off that when you spoke to him youâd feel above him somehow, but when you heard his voice your heart ached with longing and your small victory suddenly made you feel a bit sadistic. He then asked to see you to get some closure and you quickly agreed because you needed it too. But thatâs how you ended up at his hotel just an hour later. So far you were just standing there at his hotel door just taking each other in. Quite frankly, you were just pleased you had made it out of the elevator alive. But it felt like itâd been ages and no time at all at the same time, your heart was racing in the confines of your chest, making it hard to breathe once again. It made you so happy, but hurt your heart at the same time to see him. It was so confusing, feeling relief and joy and disappointment all at the same time.Â
âYou look great.â He complimented you after a few moments of staring.
âOh! Thanks.â You smiled timidly, âH-how are you?â
âIâm alright. Come on in.â He said moving aside and you wandered in. You sat at the couch in his suite as he headed to the kitchenette.
âCan I offer you some water or tea?â He asked.
âNo, Iâm alright.â You assured and he nodded before coming over to sit near you on the couch. You sat in silence for a few moments again before he chuckled in slight disbelief and shook his head.
âI canât believe youâre actually here.â He confessed with a shake of his head.
âMe either.â You chuckled a bit humorlessly. He had wronged youâŠthe only thing that you knew about him right now was that he did not love you as much as he said he did. If he did he wouldnât have left you hanging like he had. âI guess I justâŠneeded to see you one more time. I donât think that we left off on a good note so-â
âExactly. Thatâs why I wanted to see you.â He said leaning forward and taking your hand and your facade of stoicism and ease melted away immediately. The hurt from his actions just came to the surface and made a pang of pain ripple from your chest all the way out to your fingertips, you swore even your scalp hurt as his eyes met yours apologetically.
âHarry, itâs almost been a year.â You pointed out and he frowned.
âI know, love.â He confirmed, âAnd I havenât even tried t-to apologize since that text I sent you.â He said and your eyes started welling up. âIâm so sorry, Y/N. I justâŠI got scared that if I took that step forward with you it meant that my work was gone.â He explained and you scoffed.
âHarry, no! When I asked you to slow down thatâs all I meant. Slow down, not stop! Iâd never tell you to stop.â You sighed, exasperated and upset that he even thought that youâd ever make him stop doing what he loved most, âI just wanted you to slow down a little and enjoy your life for yourself. Spend time with your mom and your sister and your cousins and nieces and nephews!â You vented, âW-with me.â You added towards the end and he nodded in understanding. âWhat you do with your work matters to me. I see how happy it makes you. And I donât think Iâve ever done anything to make you feel like you couldnât be honest with me about your priorities.â You said and he shook his head.
âYou didnât. I shouldâve talked to you about it all, Y/N. I know I fucked up, big time, but I love you and-â
âNo you donâtâŠâ you interrupted with a scoff as you pulled your hand away from his, âYouâre just jealous because Iâm ready to move on with someone else now.â You said to him and he glanced up at the ceiling and smiled sadly.
âYeah, of course Iâm fucking jealous!â he confessed through a pained, breathy laugh, âAnd I still love you and whether you believe it or not because of my previous actions, I respect you and you deserve an apology. Thatâs why I wanted to see you.â He explained as his eyes met yours again, âI know that Iâve lost you, Y/N.â He said sadly, âBelieve me, I didnât come to try and talk you out of that decision. I just wanted to tell you, in person, that I love you with my whole heart. I shouldâve fought for you. You showed me so much love and gave me all of your care and support all the time! I shouldnât have been scared t-to talk about it. I shouldnât have let you go.â He explained, âIâm going to have to live with that for the rest of my life, Y/N. I know that.â He sniffled and you wiped your tears carefully. âI just needed you to know that itâs not anything you did. I love you, even still, I think Iâll die loving you.â He said.
âJesus, HarryâŠâ you inhaled sharply before standing up quickly. You grabbed your purse from the coffee table and started rushing back to the door.
âBaby! Baby, baby, baby-â he rushed in front of you blocking the door, âJ-just wait.â He sniffled, he looked panicked.
âWhy should I?â You questioned him, âWhy now?â You asked for clarity and he swallowed thickly, âYou had this whole fucking time and now that Iâm just about t-to forget about you, y-you show up andâŠâ you trailed off as your anger boiled over and your tears started to trickle down your face more heavily.
âY/N, Iâm sorry-â He started.
âY-you better not be trying to manipulate me!â You warned, your voice raised in accusation and he shook his head.
âI know it might seem that way b-but Iâm not, love. Iâm not looking for anything from you, I know I donât deserve it. I just needed t-to see you and apologize to you and tell you how I feel before you wouldnât entertain the idea of me in your presence ever again. And I know you probably hate me so much right now-â He explained and you inhaled sharply with a disappointed shake of your head.
âThatâs the stupidest fucking part of this whole thing! I-â you stopped and shook your head, âI felt so happy when I heard from you.â You confessed, âAnd I still have so much love for you.â You sniffled and felt sick to your stomach just admitting it. You felt like an idiot for it.
You had gone over a very similar scenario in your head if not millions of times before while daydreaming or lying in bed. You dreamed of him coming back and apologizing and you having the strength to not come crawling back to him after whatever excuse he gave. Except youâd gotten it wrong. Harry wasnât standing before you asking you to come back to him with an underlying arrogance that came with knowing that your love was enough to have you come back to him. He was actually just coming to be accountable for his mistakes and to apologize to you for hurting you. He came with humility and sincere repentance for his errors, no ulterior motives. And well, you werenât nearly as strong as you thought youâd be by now.
âOh, babyâŠâ he sighed, âI donât deserve it.â He recognized, âAnd I know that youâre happy.â
âI am.â You sniffled.
âIâm sorry if I made you feel confused, I really didnât want that. I really just wanted to make things as right as I could after all this time.â
âThank you.â You responded and he gave you one firm nod. âI think I should go.â You said and he glanced into your eyes and just waited for a moment and when you didnât waiver he exhaled and moved out of your way to let you leave.
You reached for the door and opened it up before stepping out into the hall, pulling it shut behind you as you cried quietly as you walked back to the elevator, what seemed like a trap before now felt like your much needed escape. You were just about to step inside when you glanced back down the hallway at his door, questioning if youâd been too harsh. After all, you did miss him and you still loved himâŠyouâd definitely regret not giving him a hug goodbye or even just confirming to him that you forgave him. So with all the strength you had, you ignored that pull to return to him and got inside and left. It was time to move on.
****************
Youâd been quiet and in your head all afternoon. Internalizing everything you were feeling was weird because you were never one to just let things brew in silence. You had to talk about it and your best friend was back in the UK and she had an important work thing in the morning so you couldnât interrupt and you just wanted to talk to someone who would be 100% real with you. You decided to just distract yourself until stopped by for dinner, surely his company would provide an adequate distraction.
But even when Steven arrived you found yourself ruminating on how awkwardly youâd left Harry. You certainly got what you needed but you were out of there so fast that you had no idea if he got the closure he needed from you and now you felt bad! Thatâs what you were thinking about, but your silent and pensive demeanor had Steven feeling iced out which he did not like. So after sitting in your little living room on his phone for half an hour in complete silence as his football game droned on, on the TV he figured heâd just ask you.
âBabe, are you upset at me?â He finally asked as he came into the kitchen. You were just grating some carrots into the salad you were making for dinner.
âNo.â You assured him with a small smile as you glanced up at him briefly.
âWell, youâve been oddly quiet since I got here. More than half the time Iâm wishing youâd just shut up for five minutes but I donât know anymoreâŠitâs weird.â He joked, trying to make light of the situation. But upon hearing that your brows pinched in confusion and offense at his âjokeâ.
âThatâs quite rude and not funny at all. I heard you turn on the game and you donât like it when I talk to you when youâr watching so I just stayed quiet.â You mumbled a bit spitefully before going back to grating and he came closer and placed a hand on your hip.
âDamn, youâre so sensitive, it was a joke.â He said mawkishly and your irritation continued blooming so you refused to look at him, âY/N, youâre clearly in your head about something and now youâre taking it out on me.â He said and you sighed.
âIâm not taking anything out on you, Steven. Iâm just thinking some stuff through.â You shared with him.
âStuff likeâŠ?â He pressed.
âLikeâŠmy ex, Harry.â You said and he straightened up at the mention of Harryâs name.
âAre you fucking kidding me?â He asked with a sardonic smile and you put down the carrot and glanced up at him.
âYou asked.â You emphasized and he huffed out a sarcastic laugh, âIâm not done, so listen up because itâs good news for you.â You said and he clenched his jaw and nodded, âWell heâs in town and he asked to see me so we could talk,â You explained and Stevenâs expression twisted into a disconcerting look, âso earlier I met up with him and we talked-â
âWait.â He cut you off, âWhy the hell would you think to go see your ex?â He asked you, fully offended over what youâd done this afternoon.
âI went to get closure! And well, considering weâve been talking about starting a relationship in the near future itâs good for us that I just close that door for good.â You explained and he shook his head.
âAnd you didnât think to tell me about this before you went there?â
âIt happened so fast and I know you were meeting clients all day so I-â
âYou should have at least asked if I was fine with you doing that!â He groaned with frustration and you frowned.
âLikeâŠask you for permission?â You asked and he shook his head.
âDonât put words in my mouth, Y/N.â He snapped quickly.
âIâm not, I was asking for clarification. You said I shouldâve asked if it was alright with you before going. Is that not asking for permission?â You asked and he sighed.
âLook, not permission but likeâŠat least consider me! Like, have me be there so he doesnât get any ideas.â He said and you looked at him like he was completely delusional.
âW-what?!â You asked in disbelief, âWhy would I invite you into a conversation with me and my ex about our old relationship?â You questioned.
âBecause, I need to make sure nothing weird is going on! And if you didnât want me there, which you clearly didnât, then you shouldâve asked if I was cool with you going to meet him all alone! It makes me uncomfortable to think of you two alone.â He said and you were complete confused at his logic.
âAnd what if you said that no, I couldnât go?â You asked.
âI wouldâve said no and you wouldâve not gone.â He rebutted confidently and you were in total shock, âYou have no business talking to him again, Y/N.â He added and you sighed and shook your head in exasperation.
âI wanted answers and an apology, Steven. I am owed at least that! And he took responsibility. He was able to give that to me.â You said and he scoffed.
âYouâreâŠyouâre so fucking naive.â He said and you looked at him in confusion, âItâs a test. He was testing you! Testing you to see if youâre still loyal to him. Testing to see if he still has power over you! And guess what? By going there all alone the moment he called you up, you confirmed that for him. You confirmed that he still owns you!â He was speaking to you in the most belittling way. You felt your rage flaring up inside of you.
âWhat are you even saying?!â You scoffed in disbelief, âIt was just a conversation! I was in and out of there in less than 10 minutes!â You laughed incredulously.
â10 minutes? Really? That alone fucked you up so much you couldnât talk to me?â He asked with a sardonic look on his face and you rolled your eyes, âSee now, Iâm not so sure that something else didnât happen between you two.â He soft-launched his accusation and you scoffed.
âNothing happened! Iâm telling you that he said what he needed to say and I just left!â You explained, âIâm just thinking on it because I donât feel right about just having left like that.â You explained, âIt was awkward, the way I handled it. I didnât even ask him if he had any questions for me or anything else to say, I was selfish. I just got the apology I needed and that was that.â You said a bit sadly and his jaw clenched for a second before biting down on the inside of his cheek.
âYou promise that was it?â He asked you after a few moments of silence.
âI promise! Literally we just talked.â You reiterated and he nodded.
âFine. Iâm sorry.â He said grumpily, like a child who is dying inside because they had to apologize. You imagined he was feeling a bit ashamed or even embarrassed for jumping to conclusions like that and being so off the mark. So you walked up to him and hugged him tight as you rested your head against his chest. You relaxed in his arms and smiled when you felt his hand grab your jaw and angle up your face. Your eyes met for a few tense seconds, you were preparing for him to ardently kiss you but suddenly his hand fell from your jaw and grabbed around your throat, right beneath your jaw. Your eyes widened in fear as his grip got a bit tighter by the second. His eyes were dark as he stared into yours.
âS-steven.â You gasped in concern as you started to run out of oxygen. You tried to wiggle out of his grip, eyes watery and full of fear as your nails dug into his wrist hoping to startle him out of whatever possessed him to do this.
âI donât want you talking to or seeing him again. Never again. Do you understand me?â He demanded and you felt your entire body just turn cold. You had no idea how to even react to this change in Stevenâs demeanor so you just nodded. âYouâre going to be mine soon and I need to know that I can trust you fully.â He said âI want to trust you. But can I? Can I trust you to stay away from him?â he asked and you nodded again, youâd do anything to get out of this situation, âThen say it. Swear to me.â He insisted darkly as he loosened his grip around you.
âI-Iâll never talk to him or see him again.â You whispered, âI swear.â You insisted with tearful eyes and he let you go before walking out of the kitchen silently.Â
You grabbed onto the counter because your legs unexpectedly lost their strength. You were panting, struggling so hard to breathe as this entire interaction processed in your brain. You suddenly felt extremely nauseated as a wave of fear overcame you. You trembled wordlessly for a bit, feeling so devastatingly mortal. Youâd never had such little power. Youâd never felt so small. After a short, uncomfortable, and contemplative moment you grabbed the carrot you had been working on and got back to grating. You just had to take deep breaths and grate.
You were walking on egg shells for the remainder of the night, doing anything and everything to act as normal as possible and not bait him into another aggression. Meanwhile, he was genuinely chatting with you so casually, as if he hadnât just grabbed you by the throat like that. It terrified you that he wasnât acting, he was genuinely fine. You were questioning yourself now, wondering if there were signs you missed? Granted, you were now getting into more serious turf, but there was nothing that youâd seen before that indicated towards him ever behaving this way. Even as you lay in bed attempting to get some rest you just stared at your ceiling thinking about that moment. How dark his eyes lookedâŠdid you need to tell someone? Itâs not like heâd actually hurt youâŠor threatened youâŠhe just made you promise to stay away from Harry. There wasnât even a mark on you. Who would believe you or what could you even do about it?
He sweetened up intensely after that though and it had your mind reeling. Even when youâd had sex earlier he had been so possessive. Normally, any type of sensual talk got you going but when he told you he was âgoing to make you hisâ as he finished it didnât have the usual or intended effect, it made you feel uneasy and made you regret having slept with him after what had happened earlier on. You immediately hopped into the shower because you just needed to wash off the memory of him of on you. You held in your tears because you thought he would join you but he just called out a goodbye after some minutes. But even in your solitude you were practically frozen and emotionless. Youâd never experienced him like that and it worried you, so you decided to talk to your friend about it.
*****************
You were nervous to talk to Marie about this because she was also his cousin, but you just needed to know if there was a history to Steven that you didnât know yet. Maybe heâd done something like this before, just got aggressive and overly possessive with another partner? Or perhaps heâd been cheated on and severely overreacted because of his past hurt? But Marieâs sort of distant demeanor shouldâve tipped you off that things were not going to be good with this conversation.
âThanks for meeting me. I actually wanted t-to talk to you about something important.â You said as soon as the waiter left after bringing your drinks. âSomething that happened w-with Steven.â You said and she pulled away from her straw.
âLook, you donât need to tell me what happened, Y/N.â She interjected, âSteven already told me.â She said flatly and for a second her anger seemed just. You were glad she was angry at him for you. âAnd look I love you and youâre my friend, but quite frankly, I canât believe youâd go and hook up with Harry after how good Steven has been to you.â She said and your jaw dropped in shock.
âW-wait what?â You asked incredulously.
âDonât do that with me, Y/N. I know how weak you are for Harry.â She said and you shook your head, âI meanâŠI did warn Steven early on t-to be careful and take his time with you because youâd probably cave and run back to Harry.â She said and you frowned, âBut after all this time? I mean Jesus, Y/N! The man pretended like you didnât exist for almost a year! How little self respect do you have t-to allow him back in after everything?!â She questioned you with disappointment and a harsh judgement.
âIs that really what you think of me?â You asked her and she sighed.
âLook, Iâm sorry for being so harsh but I love you and Iâm angry at you for cheating on my cousin. Heâs a good guy!â She defended her stance and you shook your head.
âI didnât cheat on your cousin. Weâre not even in an official or exclusive relationship so even if I had fooled around with Harry he has nothing to be upset over! Heâs the one who hasnât wanted to be exclusive yet!â You corrected and Marie smiled incredulously down at her drink, âYou donât have to believe me about Harry if you donât want but believe this, Steven? Heâs not a good guy.â You said and she looked up at you again fully offended.
âY/N, look-â
âNo, listen to me. I just need you t-to hear me out. Last night heâŠh-he grabbed me really hard by the throat and made me swear I would never talk to or see Harry again. He terrified me.â You confessed and her eyes didnât even soften up, âI came t-to ask if maybe Iâd struck a nerve by mistake, looking to justify how he behaved towards me but the fact that he got to you first and lied about what happenedâŠthat just confirmed to me that I want nothing to do with him. Heâs a ticking time bomb and I refuse to be collateral damage.â You said as you stood from your seat.
âHow dare you.â She said and stood as well and you shook your head. âYou canât just go around throwing accusations about someone like that! Especially about this sort of thing! It could ruin him, Y/N!â She said with a quiet and calculated rage.
âBelieve what you want, but I want nothing to do with either of you ever again.â You said to her and walked off. When you sat in your car you were trembling with rage, you could not believe the last 24 hours of your life. You were just collecting yourself before taking off, you didnât want to get on the road with that much anger flowing through your veins. You jumped in surprise when your phone started ringing loudly from your purse and you groaned and reached for it and when you saw Harryâs name on the screen you just felt a wave of comfort and then it turned into fear. You knew Steven wasnât here but you couldnât help but glance around your immediate surroundings before answering the call.
âHello?â You spoke into the receiver tentatively.
âY/N, I ummm, I need you to come down to my hotel right away if you can.â He said to you and you felt your stomach drop.
âW-why?â You asked him nervously.
âYour boyfriend broke into my suite and tried to attack me.â He said and you gasped. âAre you alright?â You asked instantly.
âYeah, thankfully. But now h-heâs telling the officers that you put him up to this.â He said lowly, âJust come and weâll sort this out.â He assured.
âOkay, Iâll be there soon.â You said and took off despite your heightened emotions.
Just before you arrived to Harryâs suite you saw a pair of officers guide Steven away down the hall in hand cuffs. He had a bandage over his nose and a busted lip. He barely held eye contact with you as they pulled him along. You rushed down the hall and hurried into the open suite more than relieved to see a paramedic only icing Harryâs hand while he talked to one of the officers looming over him.
âOh my god, Iâm glad youâre okay!â You exclaimed in relief and he stood right away and hugged you tight as you leaned into him and thatâs when all of your emotions from even the night before caught up with you and you started to cry.Â
âHey, hey, hey, itâs alright. Iâm alright.â He assured you lowly.
âYeah, but sometimes you minimize things to not worry anyone soâŠâ you reminded and he chuckled a little as you pulled back, âIâm so sorry about this, H. Sincerely. Genuinely! I-I canât believe he went as far as pulling something like this.â You expressed, still quite flabbergasted at what had gone down. Harry rubbed over your back in comforting circles.
âItâs alright. Iâm alright.â He assured you, âHeâs worse off than I am.â He smirked a bit as he delivered this news.
âOh, I saw.â You chuckled through your tears and he hummed. âYouâre not gonna get into any trouble, are you?â You asked.
âNo, love.â He assured you, âI acted in self-defense so weâre all clear there. He did give me a good scare though.â He said more seriously and you sighed.Â
âThis never should have happenedâŠI just donât get it where this came from? I swear, this is not at all like him! Iâve never seen him behave this way in the couple months weâve been seeing each other. Even last night was just so out of character for how heâs always been towards me! And Iâm not trying to make excuses for him. Clearly this is fucked-â
âWait. What happened last night?â Harry asked you more seriously and you sighed and shook your head.
âNothing, really.â You said to him and he gave you a look, not a scary one, just an insistent one. You sighed and shrugged, âLast night when IâŠwhen I told him we met up to talk and get closure he got really angry at me. Like, he was livid. It was truly an overreaction to me mentioning that I was really happy over having received that apology from you but that I felt like I had been awkward about it and left it weird with us.â You explained, âThen, he asked why I didnât ask for permission t-to talk to you or see you or why I didnât ask him to come with me? And I explained that I agreed to meet with you so that we could clear the air so that I could move on with him in peace and he accused me of fooling around with you.â You explained monotonously as you felt like you were there all over again, âI assured him we just talked and he then pretended like it was fine and apologized half-heartedly⊠and I went in to hug him but then itâs like a switch flipped.â You recounted what had happened, âI thought he was going t-to kiss me but heâŠâ your voice faded out into an exhale, âH-he grabbed me so hard by the throat and made me swear that I wouldnât see o-or talk to you ever again-â
âMiss?â One of the officers interrupted and you turned towards the officer as Harry released you just a bit.Â
âYes?â You asked softly.
âCan you elaborate more on this altercation?â He asked and you swallowed thickly.
âI donât want to get anyone in trouble.â You said softly, eyes now laser focused on Harryâs dangling pendant as your vision started to blur with more building tears. You were scared more than worried about getting Steven into any more trouble and Harry could see that. âLove, look at me.â Harry insisted and you blinked rapidly as one of your tears trickled down your cheek before you looked up at him, âIf he did anything to scare you, you need to report it.â He said, âHeâs fucked as it is for this, he canât do anything to you ever again. He wonât.â Harry assured you and you nodded.
You proceeded to explain what had happened and how he had grabbed you. You explained that you felt intimidated and frozen and unsure of what to do next after the altercation. You were asked why you didnât call the police or make a report and you explained that you didnât think there was anything to report. He hadnât technically hit you or injured you. You had no visible marks on you or anything to prove this apart from the fear youâd been harboring ever since. But the officer informed you that even a forceful grab is considered assault in the sate of California. And that speaking to you that way, exerting any tactics to make you feel subdued or intimidated were also considered acts of aggression and intimidation that were reportable offenses. And after a few more questions and you assuring them that he had never done anything like this to you before they moved back to the situation with Harry. With police reports filed they went on their way and you offered to get Harry a new place to spend the rest of his trip.
**************
It was just a few hours later and you were sitting in your living room waiting for Harry to come out of the shower and for his lawyer to arrive. You felt awful for this whole thing with Steven, you really had no idea he was a psycho like this. Marie had actually tried calling you almost 20 times and had sent you about 15 texts asking you to call back and that she was sorry for not believing you earlier. You were still too angry at her to respond so you put your phone on âDo Not Disturbâ and just focused on the TV and wondered if it was a good idea to have brought Harry to your home. You had found another place for him to stay but before you booked it he asked if it would be alright to use your guest room because he was concerned for your safety since Steven knew where you lived.Â
His concerns were valid. And you knew that Steven was well connected and had several lawyer friends who you were sure could get him out on bail by the morning, so you agreed to let him stay. You just didnât want to also put Harry in harmâs way again. You would never forgive yourself if Steven did anything to hurt him. All in all, none of this felt real, you felt like you were in an unhinged daytime soap episode just waiting for another tragedy to befall you and those in your life. You were so on edge that you flinched in fright when the doorbell rang. Once the shiver passed through your body you hurried over to see through the peephole and saw Harryâs lawyer waiting there.
âHi Darius.â You greeted him with a smile and he smiled back upon seeing you as well. Itâd been quite a while.
âY/N! Wow!â He chuckled, âItâs so great to see you!â He greeted you happily as you led him inside.
âLikewise! I think Harryâs just finishing up his shower, he had quite the day.â You said as you locked up behind him and he sighed.
âYeah. Iâm so sorry to hear about that. But Iâm glad heâs safe and that youâre also safe.â He assured you and you thanked him before guiding him over to the kitchen and allowing him to get set up while you went to grab the Coca-cola heâd requested.Â
It was just a couple of minutes before Harry joined you two and caught up a bit with Darius before he got into the story of what happened. Harry was going to follow through on pressing charges and he was even more motivated to get it all done ASAP when he heard what Steven had done to you the night before. He wanted to give Darius his statement as well while it was fresh in his memory so that it matched up perfectly to what heâd told the police and so he started answering the questions while Darius recorded and took notes as well. But hearing it in detail for yourself made it all the more sinister for you. You werenât even thinking about it all that deeply when you reached for Harryâs hand under the table and he paused and briefly looked at you.
âSorry.â You mouthed and started to pull it away from him but he instead tangled your fingers together and kept talking.
You stayed at his side for the rest of the time until Darius left, assuring you both that heâd let you know as soon as any headway was made in this case. With a final farewell you were locking up behind him as Harry waited for you just a small distance away. You sighed and turned to him.
âIâm so, so sorry about this, Harry. If I had know that he would do something like this⊠I mean, I just shouldnât have said anything to him about you or-â
âHey, itâs not your fault. How were you supposed to know, love?â He asked as he grabbed your face gently, right under your jaw and you swallowed thickly and he quickly slid his hands down to your shoulders. âShit, Iâm sorry. I forgot.â He said and you shook your head.
âItâs alright. Itâs still fresh.â You reminded and he sighed and shook his head.
âIâm sorryâŠif I had just come back to you when I was supposed to we wouldnât be in this mess.â He said and you sighed.
âYou werenât happy though, I meanâŠyou preferred to be alone all this time instead of back with me soâŠit was the right thing for you at the time.â You said to him.
âYou forgive me though, right? For notâŠâ he trailed off and you nodded.
âYeah, H.â You assured him and he pecked your lips quickly.
âThank you.â He said quietly.
âOf course.â You whispered back. Your lips still tingling from his quick kiss.Â
âSorry, I just needed to kiss you.â He said and you smiled slightly.
âI get it.â You assured him. âD-do you want toâŠsleep with me?â You asked with a little bit of hesitation.
âYeah, love.â He said without a hint of a doubt, âOf course. Iâm a bit shaken up myself.â He said and you nodded.
âCâmon then.â You said and grabbed his hand and guided him to your bedroom. You guys washed up and then cuddled into your bed.Â
You faced each other silently, just looking at each other, taking each other in. You were telling each other you had missed each other with your shared, longing gaze, but you refused to touch. You both loved the static and electric feeling buzzing between your bodies far too much. It was masochism in its purest form. It hurt to be apart, you missed his vibe. His energy. His presenceâŠHarry was a warm, little ball of light, even on his dark days. He was the kindest, most thoughtful person youâd been is fortunate to encounter. He was so hard on himself also, and you knew he was angry at himself right now. You didnât want him to be though, you wanted him to be here with you and enjoying this reunion, however unfortunate the situation was that led to it.Â
The amount of love you felt for him was impossible. As you laid in silence you smiled because you had truly missed the sound of his breathing. You inhaled his exhales, feeling more than grateful to be within his reach. You wanted to feel him on you, skin to skin. You shivered as you felt this intense love just surge through you.
âHarry?â
âYeah?â
âI love you.â You said softly and sincerely. His eyes glanced down, averting from your gaze as he smiled in disbelief. âI mean it.âÂ
âEven after all this time?â He asked, âAfter everything Iâve done?â
âI didnât say I wasnât hurt by you.â You smiled and he chuckled, âBut yeah, I still love you despite those things.â
âEnough to give me another chance?â He asked.
âIâŠI mean, yeah.â You chuckled nervously. âAnd I donât know i-if Iâm a complete fool for that?! But Iâve missed you.â
âIâve missed you too, baby. More so latelyâŠâ he said and you hummed.
âWhyâs that?â You asked.
âUmmâŠI was cleaning out your side of things. Like to send âem back to you and I justâŠI found this little box in the corner on your side of the closet-â
âThe memory box!â You exclaimed, remembering its existence.
âYeahâŠI just got to see all of the wonderful things weâve shared together. How youâve been there for absolutely everything. Youâve never let me down.â He said softly, âAnd I justâŠfelt like a total fool for dismissing that. Nothing feels the same without you, youâre the thing that justâŠtied everything together, you know? You made my heart feelâŠwhole.â He explained, âWhen I say that I miss you thatâs what I mean. Iâve been incomplete without you around, Y/N. Iâve been missing you from everything. Iâm so sorry that I waited until I almost lost you to reach out to youâŠâ he whispered with shame. You frowned and reached for his cheek
âEverything happens for a reason, honey.â You whispered, âI mean, Iâm glad you came along at this time because you saved me from a potentially dangerous situation.â You said more solemnly.
âIâm glad I was here for this. May-maybe this is aâŠsign of sorts for you to come back home with me.â He said a bit carefully.Â
Harry was nervous to bring this up to you but he really just didnât want you staying anywhere near this man. He wanted to be certain that he could keep you safe, that he could protect you and ensure that you were never so easily in harmâs way again. And on top of that, his love for you continued simmering lowly in the background, it had never gone out. He just fled out of fear and he regretted it so much. He had been selfish and didnât realize it until far too late. It filled him with gratitude that youâd even hear him out for an apology, let alone give him another chance. A chance that he may have blown with this suggestion heâd just put out there.
âUmmmâŠIâŠIâm not sure w-what to say to that.â You responded honestly, âLike, my first instinct is to say yes.â You chuckled nervously and while he was relieved to hear that, he held off his excitement to hear what would come next, âBut like youâve acknowledged a couple times already, weâve been apart for a while and I think we both hurt each other to some extent and I worry thatâŠin jumping right back into where we left things off that weâll forget about all of the issues that led to us breaking down instead of working through them.â You said and he hummed.
âYeah, thatâs extremely valid.â He responded, âAnd I guess I want this right now mainly because I donât want you here all alone.â He explained, âI realize we have things to work through before we can get to where we were before all this. And Iâm so willing to put in the work with you to get to that stage again. But right now I just want to ensure that youâre safe and far away from that prick, Steven. Thatâs my main concern as of now, baby.â
âWell thank you for worrying about me. I would love to leave with you but I donât think itâd be a smart move.â You sighed.
âEven just for a few weeks until things cool off a bit? I can set you up somewhere else even.â He said and you bit your lip pensively.
âIâll think about it.â You responded.
âOkay, thatâsâŠthatâs enough for me.â He whispered back.
***********************
It was a couple weeks later when Steven finally showed up at your place. Obviously you had the locks changed, so his key didnât work, which really angered him. And when you heard him shouting at you and pounding on the door, threatening to break in if you didnât allow him in, you immediately called the cops as you had a restraining order filed against him. You also recorded everything this time as you tried to calmly coax him into leaving before they showed up. He was angry that Harry was pressing charges against him and he wanted you to talk him out of it. You knew better than to say anything about Harryâs case, so instead you asked Steven how he even got access to Harryâs location. Up until this point it was all speculation, you just assumed he grabbed the information off of your phone, that really was the only way. But there was no proof yet that this was a premeditated aggression on Stevenâs end. So when he confessed to you that he searched for the information on your phone you were relieved and would submit that as further evidence to get a more strict order against him.
He refused to leave and the longer you didnât let him in the angrier he got and even broke a window. Thankfully, the police were just arriving when this happened and they submitted an Emergency Protective Order, this was far more strict than the restraining order but that was really all they could do. You really didnât feel safe anymore so the next morning you contacted your landlord and explained to her what had happened and let her know that youâd have to terminate your lease early for your safety. She was kind and didnât make you pay the extra fee or even make you finish out a whole month, she just hoped youâd fine somewhere else soon.Â
You contacted Harry and of course, he said you could stay with him for a little bit. You felt stupid for not just doing that to begin with like he had suggested. But the reality was that he had also hurt you and let you down and you were worried about what moving in together again so soon would do to impact your future. But for the time being this felt like the safest choice. Steven knew your friends and co-workers in the area thanks to Marie, so there was no one you could go to in LA that you felt he wouldnât think of. It pained you to quit your job and pack up your life and go, but you needed to. Of course, Harry welcomed you with open arms and you were grateful to know that you were a whole continent and ocean away from LA right now.Â
*****************
It had been three weeks of you living with Harry and things had been going well so far. You felt drained though, like completely fatigued from everything, you often felt this way when you were anxious or depressed so you prioritized reconnecting with your therapist from before right away. You were seeing her every week so far and were eager to see and feel the results of doing this deep and healing work after what had happened to you and Harry in LA. You also reconnected with a few friends and they were helping you network a bit to find a job. Harry assured you that he was more than capable to take care of you but you didnât feel comfortable with that, especially since your romantic future together was still a bit up in the air.
You two were doing well, you were reconnecting as friends more than anything right now. Living with him was comfortable though, you had lived together before though, so you knew how to exist in the same space together. You soon noticed that just being in a situation that was familiar to you both was making you both more affectionate towards each other though, which you both had been working hard to keep at bay. Of course, the feelings were there, but having those little things that reminded you, you werenât alone made you smile, like nowâŠ
âBaby, Iâm home! Are you here?â Harry called as he came into the house.
âYeah, Iâm in the laundry room!â You called back over the rumble of the washing machine as you folded your laundry. Moments later he was coming into the small, warm room with a smile on his face.
âHi, love! How was it today?â He asked as he came up to you and hugged you.
âIt was good. I met with Poppy and her friend, Sheila, sheâs the one who just started up her own tanner line or something and needs an accountant? Sheâs interested, so Iâm meeting with her and her partner again her next week when sheâs back from her vacation to see about the position.â You shared.
âThatâs really good. Hopefully it pans out.â
âI hope so too.â You said as you dropped the t-shirt you were working on in the basket with folded laundry so that you could interlace your fingers as you clung to him.
âAnd like I said before though, no rush, okay? Youâre doing plenty to help out here. And after everything else youâve been through, taking it slow canât hurt.â He added.
âThank you. I really do appreciate that, H.â You smiled.
âOf course, love.â He hummed. You pulled back slowly and looked into each otherâs eyes. âIâm really happy youâre here.â He reassured you.
âThank you, baby.â You whispered.
âBaby?â He asked with a grin and you rolled your eyes and sighed.
âWell, I meanâŠyou call me that, soâŠâ
âIt feels right, doesnât it?â
âYeah.â You agreed with a smile.
âI love you.â
âI love you too.â You whispered with a smile. He tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed your cheek.
âCan I kiss your for real?â He asked you quietly and you just nodded. Moments later your lips met in a tentative kiss. There was a little bit of hesitation at first but seconds later you were kissing with more depth. Your hands held his as he cupped your face tenderly as you continued to kiss. Youâd kissed very quickly a handful of times since your arrival but nothing like this where you could feel yourself getting all hot and bothered by it.
âBabyâŠâ you mumbled into the kiss.
âRightâŠsorry.â He hummed and let you go breaking the kiss abruptly and you chuckled as you blindly reached down your leg and finally grabbed the dryer sheet that was half hanging out of the dryer and tickling your leg. You crumbled it up and tossed it in the garbage bin just a few feel away from you before turning back and looking up to him.
âYou can continue now.â You said with a small smile and he grinned before picking you up and setting you on the dryer as your mouths met with more urgency. Your kiss and need started to grow and grow and boil over very quickly.
It really wasnât planned when he carried you to his room and got you undressed. Even though youâd yet to resolve everything from before, you didnât feel worried or wrong about this. You felt comfortable and beautiful as you felt his bare skin against your own. You were eagerly awaiting it as he kissed down your body and made you feel so good along the way. He wasted no time in getting down and going down on you, showing you just how much he had missed you. He savored you and gave you his best until you were starting to lose your grip on reality.
âOh fuck, I missed youâŠâ you giggled through a moan as his tongue did itâs wonderful work between your legs. You were tingling all over as he flicked over your clit until you were trembling and then he started to suck, âOh my god!â You gasped as your eyes started to roll back. âIâm getting so close!â You warned.Â
Your lips parted and you started to pant when he started to work two fingers into you. Your breath hitched when he curved them up into your g-spot. You felt your body melt into the bed for a second before he started to fuck into you harden until you were so tense your legs trembled as you started to come. The soft moans flowing from your lips were egging Harry on, making him even more hungry for you. You pulled him back up to you and your lips met eagerly as you reached for the button of his jeans.
âWant âem off?â He asked and you nodded, âSure, baby?â He asked and you nodded.
âYeah, baby. I want you. I need you.â You whispered and he smiled before kissing your lips quickly before pulling back a bit.
âI justâŠI need you to know that if we do this I want us t-to be the thing that means weâre going to try again.â He said and your gaze softened, âObviously, Iâve missed your body and having you like this, but this is more than that to me. I want it to be more than that.â He said and you nodded.
âI do too, baby. I want to try again. I really do.â You said to him with welled up eyes and he smiled and kissed you slowly again.
âYou are everything to me.â He mumbled as you helped get his pants off blindly as he tugged the material down, âIâm never going to forget that again. I swear it, baby. You make me so fucking happy.â He panted as he toed off the pants before he climbed over you and pulled you up with him towards the the top of the bed. You climbed over his lap and kissed his passionately. Harryâs hands roamed your naked body with expertise. He knew the spots to touch and to pay mind to as you guys worked up to the love-making bit. You too appreciated his body. You touched and kissed over his body and took his length into your mouth, working him up just a bit more before you two had sex.Â
âShit, babyâŠfuck thatâs so good!â He groaned as you sunk down on him until you gagged around his tip. You werenât as used to his size as you once were.Â
âCareful, baby. Go easy.â He reminded as he stroked over your cheek lovingly before running his thumb along your stretched out bottom lip. He loved seeing how you fit him in your hot little mouth. It had his abs clenching hard as you rolled and fondled his heavy balls in your hands until he was fighting the urge to start thrusting in your mouth. âBaby, pleaseâŠplease, I need you.â He panted and you popped off of him and glanced up at him.
âCan I get on?â You asked and he swallowed thickly.
âA-are you sure you want this?â He asked and you nodded.
âI do, H. I want this with you. I want everything with you. Everything that we had, I want it all back. I love you more than anything in the wor-â he cut you off with his kiss and laid you down. You were dying of impatience as hi heavy erection glided against your slicked up and swollen folds, you were so ready to have him back.
âI love you. I love you so much.â He whispered as he lined up to your entrance.
âI love you too. Please justâŠI need you.â You begged and so he pushed forward until he was sinking deep in your hot, wet little hole until he bottomed out.Â
You hissed as you adjusted back to his size, he was great about it, so patient and eager to get you going by rubbing over your clit until you were so wet you were sliding up and down his shaft. He watched you hungrily as you lifted your hips up and down to feel him moving inside of you. But it got to the point where he needed to take over and just get you both to come. His thrusts were deep and slow, he was bottoming out with each one, it was making your brain blank each and every time he sunk into the deepest part of you. Your body was tingling and your walls fluttering and pulsing around him with every movement. Everything felt so good with him. He was looking down at you with so much adoration it was making you even more emotional.
âBaby, baby donât cry.â He chuckled as he kissed your forehead as a few tears streamed down your cheek.
âIt just feels soâŠgood.â You sniffled and he kissed you quickly, âIt feels so good to be with you.â You hummed as you rolled your hips up against his and he moaned lowly and kissed you again.
âYeah? Are you gonna come for me?â He asked and you nodded. âGood girl, let me know when youâre getting close.â
âI will.â You whined out as he delved deep and ground against you until your eyes squeezed shut, âShit!â You gasped as he started thrusting a bit faster into that spot until you just felt yourself leaking around.
âFuckâŠâ he laughed, âFuck, youâre so wet fâme, I-Iâm getting close.â He panted and you whined and started to rub your clit to catch up to him.
In a few moments you were right there on the edge with him. Your back was arching as you moaned his name as your orgasm nearly took you out. Your ears were ringing and your vision was blurring as you started to come around him. He started to thrust faster to get off, but he was drawing out your orgasm until you were trembling.
âFuckâŠfuck, Iâm coming!â He warned as he started to press himself up to pull out. âOh fuuuuckâŠâ he moaned as he started to stroke himself as he came all over your mound. He thrusted his sensitive cock through your folds, making a little mess of you before kissing you ardently. âI love you. Love you so fucking much.â He whispered, his voice cracked as he started to cry and you pulled him into your chest and held him tight as you both just let your raw emotions out in this moment.Â
You both needed it desperately. After he settled down he hurried to get something to clean you off and then you started to talk about you two. What you wanted, what you hoped to see in the future. Youâd had these conversations before but even now the things that Harry was saying to you were complete different than before. Losing you seemed to be the thing that woke him up to how much heâd been taking you for granted. Heâd gotten used to it, heâd gotten complacent at your expense.
âItâs going to be so different this time.â He said softly as he looked deep in your eyes, âI will be different this time.â He assured and you sighed.
âI believe youâŠthereâs just a little part of me that is still not ready to let you back in.â You explained after he had explained how he was going to show up for you from now on, âI want to just trust you fully, but Iâm afraid that youâll make a fool of me again. That youâll hurt me again.â You explained, âAnd I know y-you wonât but I just need to let you know that Iâm still learning to trust you fully again.â You explained. âSo please justâŠbe a little patient with me.â You requested and he smiled.
âI know, baby. I will be patient with you and I will do everything I can to prove to you that I will never do anything to make you doubt choosing me again.â He said and kissed you slowly. You smiled into the kiss and let him pull you closer to him again and thatâs how you fell asleep, nestled close together.
âŠ.. ONE MONTH LATER âŠ.
In this short amount of time things had drastically shifted between you and Harry. Youâd started to go on a date a week, doing thoughtful things for each other, sharing your feelings as they arose, communicated openlyâŠheâd matured a lot in your time apart and helped you overcome your fears faster than you anticipated. You were so proud of him and it was spilling over into every moment. Like now, you were filled with a surge of love as you wandered into the kitchen to see him pulling out your favorite salad dressing from the fridge.
âHiya, baby. Whatâre you up to?â You asked.
âJust making us your favorite salad for a light lunch.â He said.
âWow, lunch already?â you asked and he smiled as you went over to him and hugged him from the back as you peeked over to his hands, eager to direct him on how much dressing he needed to add.
âYeah, love!â He chuckled, âWe had breakfast at 8! Itâs already past 2pm.â He informed you and that surprised you. But youâd been so sucked into your work that it was very possible that you forgot to even feel hungry.
âOh, I didnât realize.â You explained and he frowned a bit.
âBaby, have you been feeling alright? Itâs not just today, Iâve noticed that you havenât had much of an appetite at all lately.â He pointed out and you frowned as you gave it some thought and realized that yeah, this was something youâd been feeling for at least two weeks. Maybe it was intense PMS? You hadnât gotten your period since moving here, so you hoped it was just your body finally catching up with itself.
âYouâre rightâŠI mean, I have very visceral reactions to stress and big changesâŠI mean, my whole body and system have just been out of whack for a little but theyâll balance out again.â You assured him and he hummed.
âThatâs true, itâs been hectic for you.â He said as he opened up the dressing bottle, âHonestly, I was thinking that-â he stopped as you gagged as the scent of the dressing wafting up towards you. You had to let him go and go hunch yourself over the sink as you felt the scent of the dressing just linger in your nose and mouth. âBabyâŠ?â Harry came over and rubbed your back slowly, âAre you alright?â
âYeahâŠâ you grimaced, âBut I think the dressing is bad. Didnât you smell that? It was rank!â You turned to him with a disgusted look on your face and he frowned.
âI didnât smell anything. You look a bit awful now though. Youâre all pale.â He said feeling your forehead and you exhaled slowly to ward off the nausea that you suddenly felt making your head spin.
âI might throw up, the dressing smells so bad.â You explained and he frowned and turned to the counter and brought it up to his nose and it smelled just fine to him. He even checked the bottle for the usage date and it was still good.Â
âThis is fineâŠshould I mix your salad with something else then?â He asked and you shook your head.
âI think Iâm fine. Iâll just have some toast.â You said and he nodded. Eventually, you had to go back to your âofficeâ and leave him hanging for lunch because you could not handle the look and scent of the salad, especially that dressing. By the time dinner rolled around you were still feeling a little off so you just had some veggies in a chicken broth and that was that.
*******************
Youâd truly forgotten about your sensitive sense of smell until once again, you were assailed by an unbearable scent. Except this time it had happened at your friend, Poppyâs house. And this time you did actually get sick.
âGod, Iâm so sorry, P.â You apologized as you returned to her kitchen with embarrassment, âI swear its not your cooking, my nose has just been so sensitive lately and I get to grossed out by certain scents. Iâm not sure what exactly yet though.â You explained to her.
âGod, you sound like my sister when she got pregnant.â Poppy chuckled and you froze. That hadnât even crossed your mind. Yeah, youâd missed your period for the last two months but literally everything impacted your period, your cycle was fickle, especially when you were under as much stress as youâd been. You werenât surprised that it hadnât come at all. Truly, this wasnât new to you, especially when you were stressed out, regardless of whether or not you were on the pill (which you werenât after moving back here, youâd run out the week before you came out). Then, you recalled that when you and Harry had sex the first time he hadnât used a condom. Yeah, heâd pulled out but that was never a guarantee.
âHey, whatâs wrong?â Poppy asked you with concern.
âI think I should probably take a test just to rule that out. I mean, itâsâŠvery unlikely but I was a bit irresponsible a bit ago and just need some peace of mind.â You said.
âOkay, I have some in my bathroom, let me get you one.â She offered and you nodded so she hurried off to get it for you.
You were sure you were good, but you just needed to see it for yourself. There was absolutely no way you could be pregnant, you werenât ready for that. Harry wasnât ready for that. Like emotionally you guys were, but you had just rekindled your relationship, the last thing you needed was something this crazy to throw a wrench in things so quickly after youâd gotten back together.
âAlright, here you are, babe.â She said handing over the box as she came up to you again.
âThanks.â You smiled nervously.
âW-would you mind if I did it here?â You asked her and she smiled and shook her head.
âOf course not.â She assured you and with that you were off to the bathroom again, sitting there, willing yourself to pee enough to saturate the stick and finally it came and you put the cap back on it and washed your hands before coming out. âI hate to be that person but what if you are pregnant?â She asked and you sighed.
âI have no ideaâŠâ you confessed through a nervous chuckle while you stared at the wall blankly, âI mean, H and I justâŠGod, weâre just getting back into the groove of things. Throwing a baby into the mix at this time isnât going to make anything easier. Itâs just not what we need right now.â You explained to her.
âYeah, I get that.â She chuckled, âCam and I try and then we stop because of the same thing and likeâŠugh, itâs just a vicious cycle! And genuinely, if you have that many doubts itâs just that youâre not prepared for it, you know? Thatâs what I had to tell Cam after a few months.â She explained and you nodded in understanding. âI-if you areâŠwhat do you think Harryâd say?â She asked and you sighed.
âI have no fucking clueâŠâ you admitted, âObviously, before, we had said we wanted to have a family together. But again, that was before everything went to shit with us.â You sighed, âAnd like, weâre in such a good place right nowâŠâ you sighed, âLike I know he wouldnât be a prick about it but weâre not quite ready for that yet.â You chuckled nervously and Poppy nodded in understanding.
âWell, donât worry, youâll see in a few minutes that everything is fine.â She smiled with encouragement.Â
You decided to believe her that everything was going to be fine. You were already booked for a full body, deep tissue massage next week with Poppy when your timer went off. You turned off the timer and then brought the test up closer and your heart stopped beating and you stopped breathing for what felt like an eternity. Staring right back at you, clear as day, were two little pink lines.
âTh-that means IâmâŠright?â You asked showing Poppy and she bit her lip nervously and nodded.
âAre you okay?â She asked you with concern and you just exhaled slowly. You were completely taken by surprise. Then you started to get worried.
âI ummmâŠI think I need to get home.â You said to her, still in shock. You swallowed thickly as you tried to imagine how Harry would react to the news that he would be a father.
âDo you want me to drive you over?â She offered, since you had walked from Harryâs to hers. It was just a 20 minute walk, you guys lived quite close.
âNo, no, P, itâs alright. I think walking will be good for me, I need toâŠI needâŠâ you trailed off as your eyes started to well up with tears as you started to imagine the worst case scenario.
âHeyâŠHey, hey, hey, câmere.â She said pulling you into her arms as you started to cry, âItâs going to be alright, babe. H is not gonna be angry, you know that.â She assured you as she rubbed comforting circles into your back as you held her tight. âYou have options, yeah? You know that heâll have your back no matter what.â She said and you nodded, âLet me get you home, yeah?â
âOkay.â You whispered to your best friend and she gave you one more squeeze before letting you go.
 Once you got to your place she encouraged you to have a shower and that sheâd get some tea going for you. You texted Harry that you needed him to come home as soon as possible, you didnât want this solely on your chest for another minute. You took your time and when Harry started pulling into your driveway Poppy popped in and let you know before shouting a goodbye to you. You sighed and relished in the warm water for just another moment before turning off the water. You were soon reaching for your robe and slipping into it. You padded over to the mirror to wash your face and you bit your lip before untying the robe and looking over your body. You looked the same, you saw no evidence of a baby.
âBaby?â You heard Harry calling from downstairs. Soon, his footsteps were heard coming up the stairs and you quickly tied your robe up and got to lathering your face wash in your hands.
âIn the bathroom!â You called back before rubbing it into your skin. He rushed into the bathroom and looked more than relieved to see you intact.
âAre you alright?â He asked and you sighed and quickly bent over to rinse your face. You then dabbed it dry as you reached for your toner.
âI think soâŠâ you responded after a little bit, âI donât know.â You sighed as you grabbed your moisturizer.
âWell whatâs going on? Hmmm?â He asked you as he came over and kissed your shoulder, his arms wrapped around your middled and pulled you in closer and suddenly you had to throw up again. You gasped and wriggled out of his hold and turned around to face him. Your eyes started welling up with tears again and you were just building up the courage to say it. âBaby, youâre worrying me.â He said softly and you swallowed thickly.
âUmmmâŠIâŠIâm pregnant.â You said and his jaw slightly dropped. He let out a small and nervous laugh before he just pulled you back into his arms without a single word. You hugged him back and just held each other for a little bit.
âWhat do you want to do?â He finally asked you and you shook your head.
âI have no fucking clueâŠâ you said and he let you go and hoisted you up onto the counter. You draped your arms over his shoulders as he held your thighs, âI mean, what do you think?â You asked and he sighed.
âI donât fucking knowâŠI mean, thatâs gonna be our baby so IâŠlike Iâm inclined t-to give it a try. But at the same time I donât know that our relationship is ready for something like this. I mean, I want this with you in a few years but weâre just getting started again.â
âI knowâŠI donât even know how thisâŠlike you pulled out.â
âI know, but itâs not always a guaranteed thing.â He said and you sighed.
âI shouldâve said something thenâŠâ you shook your head as you rubbed your forehead with one of your hands.
âHey, thereâs no point for any wouldâve-shouldâve-s,â he said, âItâs gonna be alright. Weâll figure it out soon, okay?â You nodded, âJust take your time, baby. Whatever you decide, I have your back.â He assured you and you nodded. He grabbed your face and kissed your lips until you were smiling.
âStoooop.â You giggled, âMânot in the mood.â You pouted through your smile and he smiled.
âI think youâre lying.â He hummed and you rolled your eyes. âLook, how about we get an appointment with the doctor and see how far along you are and maybe thatâll help us decide what we might want to do.â He said and you nodded.
âYes, good thinking.â You smiled, âGod, I was so scared to tell you.â You sighed and he tutted.
âWhat made you think to take a test?â
âI smelled something P was cooking and got sick.â You said, you felt tour cheeks growing hot in embarrassment. Harry chuckled and then furrowed his brows pensively.Â
âDidnât you almost get sick at the salad dressing a bit ago?â He recalled and you chuckled.
âYeah, thatâs trueâŠâ you remembered, âI mean, I know I havenât gotten my period but-â
âHow was that not a sign?!â He chuckled in disbelief and you proceeded to explain how your period often skipped when you were under a lot of stress so this wasnât an odd thing for you. But he was sweet, he was calm, but you could see the cogs just turning at full speed in his mind. You hoped he wasnât angry at you, but you couldnât help but think that he was and that he would run again. âIâm not angry, you know?â He mumbled softly and you glanced into his eyes and smiled a bit, âI can see it in your eyes, you know?â He whispered.
âYou sure?â
âI am, baby. But I amâŠexcited tooâŠI mean, I donât want to dwell on it too much incase we decide not to proceed with this butâŠI am. I mean, youâre the only person I want to have a life with. No matter how it happens, itâs you that I want to have babies with and raise them with and just share that experience with. So if you did want to continue with the pregnancy that would be good with me too.â He hummed.
âOkay. Thank you for your opinion.â You whispered before kissing his lips and hugging him tight against. You kissed at his neck as you just nestled yourself in the crook of it. âI love you.â
âI love you.â He smiled.
âŠ. TWO DAYS LATER âŠ.
You currently found your self peeing into a cup at the doctorâs office. You knew you were pregnant, but the doctor wanted to verify before they did an ultrasound to see where you were at. Once you finished you closed up the little jar and left it not he shelf as instructed. You washed your hands and then scurried across the hall and back into your room to see Harry intently reading the poster on the wall abut pregnancy.
âYou know you get super horny during the second trimester.â He said in amusement, âAs if you needed any more of that while pregnantâŠgreedy.â He mumbled with a grin and you chuckled.
âYouâre dumb.â You said as you went back over to the bench and sat again. You dangled your feet back and forth for a bit before Harry came over.
âWhatâre you thinking?â
âIâm thinking thatâŠthis is fucking insane.â You chuckled.
âIn a good way?â
âYeahâŠbad too.â You hummed and he nodded and leaned in to kiss your cheek.
âItâs going to be just fine, baby.â He assured you right as the doctor knocked at the door. âCome in!â Harry called and soon the woman was coming in.
âHello, Y/N!â Dr. Sallow greeted you sweetly, âGlad youâre back!â She said with glee and you smiled.
âThank you.â You replied, âAnd ummm, this is Harry, myâŠpartner.â You said and she turned to him and smiled.
âHarry, wonderful to meet you.â She smiled and extended her hand and they shook them quickly before she walked over to the screen. âSo, youâre here because you are pregnant.â She said and you nodded, âI can confirm that.â She smiled and Harry squeezed your knee when you inhaled sharply. It sort of felt official now. âSo we can definitely do an ultrasound if youâd like, the room is available. Or did you have other questions?â she asked.
âDefinitely an ultrasound. Want to know how far along I am and that sort of thing.â
âIâd assume fairly early if youâre just noticing any symptoms, so donât be too disappointed if we donât see much of anything just yet.â She forewarned and you both nodded. âAlright, Iâm gonna have nurse Debbie set up the room and then sheâll escort you over and weâll get a look at you.â
âThank you.â You smiled and soon she excused herself before fluttering off to her next patient. You only waited a couple of minutes before nurse Debbie came to escort you to the ultrasound room and got you all set up. Harry was practically bouncing beside you with anxiety as he waited.Â
âLet me get the doctor.â Debbie said and hurried out. You glanced over to Harry.
âHey, hold my hand.â You said and he dragged a chair over and interlocked your fingers. âIâm so excited to see.â You whispered and he grinned wide.
âMe too.â He confessed and you chuckled. âMaybe weâŠthink a bit more about keeping itâŠâ he suggested and you smiled a bit.
âYeah? You mean it?â You asked softly and he nodded.
âI do, baby.â He smiled.Â
A few moments later Dr. Sallow was announcing herself again before coming in. She explained the procedure and then got the gel on you before grabbing the camera and gliding it over your tummy, looking for the best spot.
âOhâŠthere we are.â she hummed and Harry immediately shot upon seeing the image projected on the screen.
âOh my godâŠâ he whispered as he squeezed your hand tight and you smiled up at him quickly before you both glanced back over to the screen.
âSo that there is the head and the arms and legsâŠâ she pointed out and shifted the angle, âDo you want to know the sex?â She asked as she turned to you and you chuckled.
âThatâsâŠummm, isnât it a bit early to know that?â You asked her and she shook her head.
âNot at all, we can tell as early as 10 week if the position is right.â She explained and youâre heart stopped.
âAnd Iâm already 10 weeks along?â You asked shakily as the realization of what this meant started to settle in. You felt Harry starting to pull his hand away from yours.
âOh no, youâre more like 14 weeks, dear.â She said and thatâs when Harry completely pulled away from you and you felt the air completely leave your lungs. You turned to him and he just clenched his jaw as he ran his fingers through the top of his hair. âSo do you want to know?â She asked and you were so frozen that you nodded quickly as your eyes teared up. âItâs a girl.â She said with a smiled and you just nodded.
âThatâsâŠthatâs so great.â You whispered and then brought a hand up over your mouth in an attempt to muffle the sound as started to cry. Dr. Sallow turned to you quickly with concern and then you felt Harryâs hand grab yours again. You turned towards him and saw he was crying too. âIâm sorry.â You whispered and he shook his head.
âWeâll talk about it.â He said to you softly and you nodded.
âIs everything alright?â Dr. Sallow asked and you sniffled.
âSorry, yes. I just didnât mean to say that.â You explained and she apologized but you assured her it was fine.Â
You just wanted to get out of there⊠you were mortified. This wasnât Harryâs baby and now you really had no idea what to do. You always used condoms with Steven, but now that you knew he was psycho, you had no doubt that he was capable of sabotaging you like this. More than anything you were so hurt and angry that he had taken this from you and Harry. For a second you almost turned and asked for an appointment for an abortion but you glanced at the screen and you were flooded with guilt for even thinking that.
âUmmm, Iâd like to leave.â You said as you started to sit up and Dr. Sallow was quick to clean you off. Harry helped you off of the reclining seat and you were back on the road not even ten minutes later.Â
You were just silent the whole way home, you felt like shit. You felt awful for getting Harry all excited only to know that this was not his child you were carrying. You were so confused right now, you almost wanted to pinch yourself and hope you woke up. You could feel Harry continuously glancing over at you but you couldnât look at him. There was no way you could look at him after this. It was over between you twoâŠthere was no way you could ask him to stay with you after this. It wouldnât be fair to him. When you got to the house you made it to the stairwell and plopped down as you started to sob violently.
You moved to the side when you saw Harry coming over, assuming he was just going to go up to the bedroom. But then he crouched down and sat a step above you and pulled you into him by the shoulders.
âItâs o-â
âDonât say itâs okay.â You cut him off, âThis is not okay.â You whispered sadly. âI hate Steven.â You seethed and he swallowed thickly as you started to sob and he pulled you closer and kissed the side of your head.
âI love you, okay? This doesnât change that for me.â He said to you and you shook your head.
âI would never ask you or expect to stay. Itâs not fair to you, HarryâŠâ you said sadly, âI was about to tell Dr. Sallow that I wanted to abort but then I saw the screen again and I justâŠI donât think I can do it. Thatâs likeâŠa part of me too and I justâŠI donât think I can go through with it.â You said again, sputtering on your tears. âIf that means that weâre over, I get it. I totally understand it.â You sniffled.
Harry frowned deeply as he heard you say this. His heart was completely torn right now. He thought you were reacting this way because you were going to terminate the pregnancy upon finding out that it wasnât your baby together. But hearing you say that you wouldnât be able to do that, it made him so angry and so hurt. Despite his own feelings about this, he fully understood why changed your mind. After seeing the tiny little thing tucked inside of you his heart was in shambles too. He was fully ready to advocate for you guys keeping it, but hearing how far along you were, it completely shattered his heart. He felt physically ill as the moment replayed in his brain. Youâd both slept with other people during your time apart, so he wasnât angry at that, it was more that it was Stevenâs. A man who had hurt you and disrespected you and that scared you. It made the hate he felt for him grow even more intense than it already was. He was livid, he could kill him for taking this from you two. Harry had to decide how he would proceed from here. You were fully prepared to leave him again in order to keep this baby and the thought of it put so much sorrow in his heart. He didnât want to lose you.
The idea of leaving you and letting you do this all on your own made his sad. You didnât deserve that. You deserved to have a good pregnancy, one that came with a supportive partner, someone to share the experience with. He wanted to be the person to be there for you but right now the thought of that little thing growing inside of you made his blood boil with hatred. He couldnât think clearly in the slightest.Â
âI ummmâŠI love you so much, baby. I just, I think I need some time t-to process this and just think about it all.â He said to you and you nodded. âI love you though. You know that right?â He asked and you nodded again as he kissed the side of your head.
âLove you too.â You whispered and he hummed. âShould I go for a couple of days?â You asked quietly.
âNo, baby.â He said quietly, âYou stay here and rest up.â He hummed lowly, âI think Iâm gonna go up north and just spend a few days with my mum, clear my head, if thatâs alright?â He asked. You wanted to say no, the last thing you wanted right now was to be all alone with this information. But you had no choice but to agree, you had just put him in the most impossible position and he deserved to have the space to think about it as calmly and comfortably as possible.
âYeah, sure.â You whispered.
âCan I tell my mum?â He asked and you sighed.
âWhy the fuck notâŠâ You chuckled through your tears and he pouted.
âHey, look at me.â He insisted, âI wonât if you donât want me to, baby. This is about you, about your body. If you want me to keep it to myself I will.â He assured.
âSorry. Iâm just afraid that itâll change how she feels about me.â You explained nervously. Youâd had a wonderful relationship with Anne. You missed her wisdom and kindness and friendship during your time apart from Harry and hearing that another man had impregnated you, her sonâs girlfriend, well youâd understand if it upset her.Â
âNoâŠI mean, things happen. Accidents happen.â He said and you shook your head.
âBaby, I-I donât think this was accidental because we used a condom every single time. Iâm certain of it!â You wept, âLike Iâm not stupid, or careless like that.â You assured.
âYou think he ruined the condoms?â He asked and you sighed as you recalled all of the overtly possessive things Steven had been saying to you during sex the last month or so that you had been together. Things about making you his forever, about giving him babies one day, making you a momâŠyou thought he was just introducing some of his preferences in bed with that kind of talk, but maybe it was more than that.Â
âItâs very possible.â You said softly.
âJesusâŠâ he shook his head, âHow fucked up was this guy?â He asked you and you shrugged.
âI never saw that side of him before all of this.â You said and Harry sighed and nodded. After a moment of silence he cleared his throat.
âUmmmâŠIâm just gonna pack and head out soon, want to avoid that rush hour traffic near Birmingham.â He said and you nodded.Â
He stood up and then offered to help you stand as well before you guys went up to the room. You sat on the bed as you watched him pack a couple days worth of clothes. You wanted to ask him to stay, but you couldnât be that selfish. This was the least you could do for him after that a-bomb was just dropped on him. Not to mention the a-bomb youâd just dumped on him too. When he finished packing up his bag he went over and kissed you quickly.
âIâm not running away from you, okay? I just need to clear my head.â He reassured you, his words were mumbled against your forehead before he kissed you there, âI love you so much.â He whispered before kissing your lips.
âLove you.â You mumbled, âText when you get there, yeah?â
âI will, baby.â He assured.
âBe safe.â
âAlways.â He hummed before he bid you farewell once more before he left.Â
Once you heard him pull out of the driveway you just curled up on your side and started to cry. This couldnât be realâŠthere was no way this could be real. You felt completely defeated. The only thing you could think that made you happy was that you never wanted Steven to know about this, you didnât want to give him the satisfaction. You had no idea how that would go down with your child in the future, but right now you wanted him not to know a single thing about you ever again. After coming to that conclusion you ended up calling your mom and telling her everything that happened. You talked and cried for nearly an hour before she had to go, but not without promising sheâd call again and chat the next day in order to keep you some company, even from afar.Â
After that you decided to draw yourself a warm and relaxing bath, that always made you feel so calm. So you started out on that, letting your bath bomb melt in the warm water as you made yourself a nice cup of tea, your last caffeinated one for the foreseeable future, and then got inside.
*****************
Harry had been driving up the M1 motorway for a bit before he quickly texted his mum his ETA. This caused her to call him right away and ask what this surprise visit was about, but he couldnât speak when he answered her call. He just sobbed, he sobbed for nearly 15 minutes before he shared what had happened that morning at the doctorâs office. He explained everything he was feeling, even the bad things he was thinking, but the one thing that kept coming up was how much he loved you.
âI love her so much but I just donât think I could get past the fact that, that prick is the babyâs dadâŠI cannot for the life of me sit with that information and not become enraged by it.â He said, it pained him to spare Steven a thought.
âD-do you feel angry at Y/N for being with him?â She asked and he frowned.
âNo/ Itâs not like I didnât see other people but I hate that she thinks that I couldnât be with her after this. Like, I think about letting her go, like sheâs saying, and it absolutely guts me.â He explained. âAnd likeâŠI feel bad that it crossed my mind at some point, but not for the reasons you might think, itâs just that I donât know i-if I am even prepared to take that role on.â He sniffled.
âNo one ever is, even when itâs meticulously planned, H.â She reasoned and he sighed,
âAre you concerned about him wanting to come back into her life?â She asked and he nodded.
âYeahâŠa bit.â He admitted, âI mean, I donât think heâs the type to take any accountability for his actions but if he finds out about it heâs so arrogant that he might want to just to make her uncomfortable. I mean, Y/N thinks it may have been deliberate because she said she always made sure t-to use protection. I mean, I wouldnât put it past him to do something like that, the man was completely mad.â He shared and his mum hummed in understanding.
âWell sweetheart, it doesnât sound to me like youâre all that conflicted. It sounds to me like you donât want to end things with her.â
âOf course not! But what if IâŠwhat I canât love that baby as much since I now know this?â He asked.
âI-is that whatâs holding you back?â She asked and he hummed on confirmation. He felt like a complete prick saying that but he was legitimately concerned about this. What if you went on to have your own kids together and it just changed something in him? What if he was open to being with you now but then changed his mind? What if he saw Steven every time he saw that baby and only felt anger instead of love? The chances of something like this happening were extremely low, practically non-existent, but not 0%. And in the end he would hurt you and that baby even more if he walked out because one of these things happened.
âYou know what I think?â
âWhat?â
âI think you will love her just fine, H. You know why?â She asked and he hummed, âBecause out of everyone in the world you know the impact that one incredible and dedicated man can have on a child.â She said and he sniffled, âYouâve seen for yourself that a biological connection is not needed to give someone unconditional love and support. Youâre lucky, you got that from two fathers.â She said and he smiled.
âYeah.â He whispered.
âIâm not saying that it wonât be scary and difficult at times t-to do this, but it can also be extremely beautiful and rewarding. Youâre both such wonderful people that if you decided to stay and do this together you could impact that childâs life for the better, just like yours was.âÂ
âRightâŠâ he said softly
âAnd well, honestly sweetheart, these concerns you have, theyâre things you need to figure out with Y/N. She will listen to you, H. I mean, if youâre feeling this conflicted about things I canât image how she must be feeling now.â she said with sympathy and when he saw himself nearing Birmingham he felt awful. It got as bad as him feeling sick to his stomach as he pictured your fearful and distraught face back in the bedroom. Heâd done it again, heâd left you hanging at a time when you needed his love and support the most. He loved you so much, he could not believe heâd left you alone in that state. And in two seconds he started to signal to get off of the motorway.
âMum, I ummmâŠI need to go back and be with, Y/N.â He decided, âI shouldnât have left here there by herself after everything she had to hear todayâŠIâd be surprised if she was still there after I just walked outâŠfuck!â He groaned in frustration.
âH, she loves you so much.â
âI love her tooâŠwhy do I keep doing the wrong thing and hurting her?â He cried now as he got off at the next exit. He was waiting for the traffic to clear before he could make his turn to turn around.
âI think it kind of scares you, how much you love her. And I think in a way you might feel like you could lose her, so you pull back regardless of how that might make her feel. Itâs self preservation.â She explained and he swallowed thickly. Hearing this helped him mentally decide that he wasnât going to run any more, after everything heâd done youâd given him another chance regardless of the possibility of him hurting you again. This was his chance to show you that his love for you was bigger than everything else. âDonât be afraid to open your heart, sweetheart.â She added and he hummed.
âAlright, thank you for listening. Iâm just gonna call Dr. A and ummmâŠhopefully sort some mental things out before I get back to Y/N.â He said.
âOkay, bub. Be safe, please let me know when youâre home safe. I love you.â
âLove you.â He mumbled before he hung up and got back onto the motorway but heading back towards the South. He wasnât going to do the same thing again and leave all alone to guess just how much he loved you, not this time. He was going to be there for you and support you and love you both.
*****************
It was a bit odd to you when you heard the large gate to Harryâs house opening up. But then you recalled that sometimes his PA would do errands that required him to come to the house. So you just got out of the tub quickly and rinsed your body off in the shower before getting into your robe in case he came upstairs for any reason. You were just getting one of Harryâs hoodies when you heard his voice.
âBaby? Are you still here?â He called out as you heard the front door shut heavily against the frame. You hurried into the yoga pants youâd grabbed and rushed out to see him coming up the stairs.Â
âYou came back.â You sighed in relief as he hurried up and he just pulled you right into his arms and you started to cry.
âIâm so sorry. I should never have left you like this, baby.â He sniffled as he kissed your head over and over again. âI love you so much. I love you so fucking much.â He assured you. âIâm not leaving you alone with this, baby.â He said to you and you pulled back a bit to look at him.
âWhat do youâŠmean by that?â
âIt means that weâre doing this together.â He said to you and you shook your head.
âI canâtâŠI couldnât do that to you.â You said to him and he shook his head.
âYouâre not doing anything to me, baby. If youâre keeping this baby I am choosing to do this with you. I know itâs going to be hard but I will be there for you every step of the way and love our little babygirl with everything I am. I love you far too much to not see this through with you.â He said and you just broke down and hugged him tight.
You had no words, there was just joy. You knew this would be hard and challenging and even sad at times, but heâd come back to you and he wanted you to stay with him.
âI love you so much, H.â You finally whispered before kissing his lips.
âYouâre everything to me, baby. Weâre gonna get through this.â He smiled and you smiled.
âPromise?â
âI promise.â He smiled, âIt was actually my mum who reminded me that biology had nothing to do with being a great father, soâŠshe doesnât hate you.â He said and you chuckled through your tears.
âGood, that wouldâve definitely been the worst outcome.â You said jokingly and he smiled. âAnd look, I know that there are a lot of logistics and other things to discuss and Iâm still sorting through that mentally, s-so if you can just be a little patient with me while IâŠget that together in my head I would really appreciate that. Iâm still processing that thereâs a little person forming in there and itâs kind ofâŠfreaky.â You said as you looked up into his eyes and he sputtered on a laugh. You frowned at his reaction, âWhat?â
âI thought you were going to say it was magical or amazing, not freaky.â He giggled and you did as well.Â
âOhâŠwell, IâŠI donât feelâŠhappy about it yet.â You confessed to him and this brought on a fresh wave of tears, âI feel like shit about that. Like Iâm gonna be a mom, I should be happy, not freaked out, shouldnât I?â You asked him.
âNot necessarily. You can feel however you want about it, baby.â He assured you, âEspecially in this situation, itâs come as a surprise to you. I donât judge you at all for not feeling happy about this yet, baby.â
âPromise?â
âI swear it.â He promised before pecking your lips again quickly.
âThank you.â You whispered and he nodded and smile at you.
âWanna do something to take your mind off of things for a bit?â He asked.
âLike what?â
âWe canâŠsort through the pantry and fridge and see what foods youâll have an aversion to?â He offered and you smiled and shook your head at his bizarre, yet completely productive suggestion. âI see you trying to hold back your smile.â He teased and you finally gave in.
âThatâs the wildest but most genius thing youâve ever suggested.â You giggled.
âI know. Imagine how smart our kidâs gonna be?! Weâve got this in the bag.â He said confidently.
âYou think so?â You asked and he nodded.
âWith you as her mum, I know so.â He smiled.
âŠ. 1 YEAR LATER âŠ.
You woke up feeling completely refreshed and renewed. It was absolutely quiet in the house and it was strange to wake up in silence. When you rolled over and looked at your phone you saw it was nearly 10am and shot out of bed. You had no idea how youâd slept in that much! The baby needed to be fed and changed! You hurried over to the nursery already thinking up an apology in your head for Ellie. But when you made it into the nursery it was empty. Harry had some work to do for Pleasing today so you knew heïżœïżœïżœd be out. Maybe he called someone to come look after the baby? When you passed by his home studio on the way to the kitchen you heard his voice along with others, so you knocked on the door.
âCome in!â He called quickly and you peeked inside and immediately smiled when you saw Harry spin around in the chair with Elara sitting on his lap, she was literally just chilling there while she drooled all over one of the newer nail polishes Pleasing would release soon. He smiled at you over the sounds of whoever was speaking right now. âHey guys, are we good for today or is there anything else we needed to go over?â He asked with a smile as you waved from the background.
âWeâre all good!â You heard and then heard the multiple voices bidding farewell to you and baby Elara before he hung up.
âYou didnât have to do that.â You said to him as you walked into the room to grab her from him.
âItâs alright, baby, we were just chatting a bit.â He assured you, âWerenât we?â He asked the baby who just ignored him to keep attempting to bite the bottle in her hands before he started to rub at her back.
âI know you had work, you shouldâve woken me up.â You said as you kissed his head.
âNo way.â He chuckled, âYou know, you slept through two whole alarms, you clearly needed the rest. I thought you were dead for second there.â He said with grin and you tutted.
âDonât even say that.â You scolded.
âYouâre right, sorry. Bad joke.â He corrected himself, âBut really, my love, I donât mind doing these launch plan meetings online, itâs none of the fun stuff so.â He shrugged and you smiled, âBesides when I have Ellie on camera everyone is so obsessed with her little smile that theyâre so agreeable, so itâs a win-win.â He chuckled and you smirked.
âGod forbid the paps see her and exploit her for money, but her own father is exploiting her cuteness for sway in the board room.â You said with a grin and he chuckled.
âHey, she likes hearing all the commotion too.â He added and you smiled before kissing the top of her head and she sighed and laid over his chest making you both coo. âShe finally slept through the night. Sorry you missed it.â He said softly and you chuckled.
âIâm sorry youâre so used to waking up to her crying that you noticed!â You giggled as you raked your fingers through his curls easily and he hummed.
âI donât mind it. Reminds me that this little cutie is finally here.â He said and you smiled at how sweet he was with her.
âI canât believe sheâll be six whole months tomorrow.â You said in disbelief.
âI knowâŠSâyour half birthday, bub.â He said to her and she just blinked tiredly, "Sheâs perfect though, isnât she? Your little twin.â He hummed with pride as he looked down at her and then at you again. You nodded and watched him with her for a few moments.
Harry had nothing but love for baby Elara. He adored her completely. He almost felt silly for being so worried that he wouldnât bond with her as genuinely as if she were his biological daughter. Once he saw you starting to show and you guys started shopping for the nursery, and picking out baby names, every ounce of doubt he had melted away. That was his daughter in every sense of the word. He had so much love for the both of you that he felt like his heart would burst sometimes.
âI love you so much.â You said to him and he glanced up at you.
âMore than Ellie?â He smirked and you chuckled.
âThe same, I think.â You hummed and he looked surprised.
âOh wow, I was expecting a firm no.â He laughed.
âOh my godâŠI love you both. Itâs a bit different for sure but I somehow get it all to fit in my heart.â You said and he smiled as he stood up.
âLook at her, sheâs about to pass out again.â He said as he looked down at the baby.
âI think we should get her back in the crib and have a cuddle. We can watch that show youâve been pestering me about.â He suggested
âLove is Blind?â You gasped and he nodded.Â
Soon enough you had washed your face and brushed your teeth, as you did every morning, all while Harry got Ellie down. But he soon joined you in bed as you waited for him to return. He climbed into the bed beside you and like a magnet, you immediately scooted right up against him and kissed him gently, it caught him by surprise.
âThank you for letting me sleep in, baby. That was exquisite.â You confessed and he smiled and pecked your lips again.
âOf course, baby. Anytime.â He smiled. âI do have a question for you thoughâŠwhen are we going to have another baby?â He asked you and you giggled.
âUmmm, ask me in a year!â You laughed.
âA year?â He scoffed.
âHey, itâs hard work!â You added and he smiled.
âYeah, but itâs so worth it, isnât it?â He asked with a smile and you sighed happily at his response.
âYeahâŠâ you hummed, âItâs all worth it.â You smiled.
âOur little family makes me so happy, I just want one more.â He said and you glanced into his eyes.
âJust one more.â You agreed and he chuckled.
âYeah, just one.â He assured you, âSo in a year Iâll ask again, okay?â
âOkay.â You sniggered and kissed him quickly again before you got the show going.
You were explaining a little bit about why you were suddenly so interested in this show without trying to give away too much of what you knew had gone down, thanks to your friends and social media. He easily got sucked into the narrative and when you both started commenting as you watched on you just got so happy that you could share something so simple together and then also something as huge and serious as a baby. It made your tummy flutter and swirl with love for him and you then realized that maybe it would be less than a year before youâd be trying for another baby and you were perfectly alright with that.
---- TAG LIST ----
@sunshinemoonsposts @anotherdudetteinthisworld @matildasatellite @sad-avocado @sunflovverharry @cherrysulewski @daphnesutton @gurugirl @reveriehs @ottawaoutlander @jessitpwk @permanentllyharry @here4thefanfics @slutfortigertattoo @angelbabyyy99 @freedomfireflies @behindmygreyeyes @justlemmeadoreyou
These are the friends who liked the ask with the request for this piece:)
@harryssattelitestomper @vanillagirllll @thef0reverl0st @unknown7549 @liviingfxst @leantunes0309 @outofthisworl-d
#Harry styles#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fic#harry styles stories#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles one shot#harry styles angsty one shot#harry styles smutty one shot#harry styles fluffy one shot#harry styles x reader#harry styles x you#harry x reader#harry x you#dad!harry styles x mom!reader#dad!harry#dad!harry styles#harry styles girl dad#harry styles fan fic#harry styles fluff#harry styles smut#harry styles writing#harry styles fan fiction#harry styles angst#harry styles writing recs#0nlythrowharrybeaux
618 notes
·
View notes
Text
Nemesis with Benefits - Part 6
Summary: âThree weeks have passed, and the inevitable truth leads to some harsh conversationsâŠâ
Wc: 3.3k
Tropes: enemies-to-lovers
Warnings: ANGST big time, fighting, crying (my heart hurts)
A/N: hello⊠I finally finished the newest chapter and I immediately wanted to get it out so you can all read it. I am incredibly sorry that it took so long, and I am also sorry for the amount of sadness in this chapter⊠but it had to happenđ„Č
General Masterlist
Series Masterlist
It's been three weeks since you last saw Harry, and you feel terrible.
About what exactly? You're not sure. Dylan's sudden appearance. Harry justâ walking out. What Harry and Dylan did to you. What you have been doing with Harry...
It seems that, just as the dust had started to settle, this tornado entirely threw you for a loop again. Finally getting to terms with your feelings and accepting the idea of a friendship with Harry, it all came crashing down the moment you spotted Dylan at that pool table.
You'd spent hours furiously scribbling in your notebook to understand the depths of this tricky situation you'd managed to work yourself into, but you haven't found a logical solution or explanation for any of it.
Only that Dylan is a total dick, that is.
You had to admit that you needed some time to come down from the shock and bottled up feelings that had exploded right in front of your face. But by the end of the week, you were ready to find Harry and talk about this. What that conversation would lead to, you had no idea, but speaking to him was vital.
And apparently impossible.
He wouldnât respond to your texts, nor your calls when you eventually decided to give calling him a try. When you'd finally mustered up the courage to sneakily ask Benjamin about Harry's whereabouts, you were smacked in the face with the news that Harry had left.
He'd gone home to England to visit his family, Benjamin said. When you'd asked whether it had to do anything with the Dylan fiasco, Benjamin had shrugged and said that Harry did visit his family every single year. But he also mentioned he went a bit earlier than planned, so he thought the other night might have had a little bit to do with it.
Planned or not planned, it left you with a lot of confusion and doubt for the next two weeks, one of which you spent in your own hometown, trying to enjoy spring break as much as you could with a broken heart and an occupied mind.
You hadn't returned to your college town yet when Harry finally did, and you were bummed about not being able to talk to him. Rebecca and Benjamin were going to a party Harry was throwing so you guessed you'd hear about his state when you got back.
It would've be a bit embarrassing to admit, but it's one of the reasons you caught an earlier train this morning. You texted Rebecca, telling her youâd back sooner than planned. but you hadn't heard from her so far. While you'd thought it was a little weird, you figured you'd see her this evening anyway.
You didn't expect her to be at your front door.
A smile creeps onto your face as you neared her, leaving your luggage to the side as you open your arms for a hug, but Rebecca just stands there, arms crossed. Quirking up a brow, you ask:
"Hey, are you okay?"
A few seconds pass before she responds.
"We need to talk."
Absolute, utter dread fills your entire body as you nod, grabbing your suitcase. "What is it about? Do you want to go upstairs?"
Rebecca doesn't answer your question, she only nods in response to your second. You are quick to unlock my door and walk towards my apartment with her. The elevator ride is silent and excruciating, and when you've finally entered your living room, you're quick to ask away.
"Okay, what's going on?" Your question sounds almost irritated, which in hindsight doesn't seem very smart because it only seems to tick Rebecca off. What is going on with her?
"Harry threw a little get together yesterday," Your friend sighs, crossing her arms. "and I couldn't help but notice the familiarity of his home address when he sent it to us."
Your face pales. Oh my god, you are going to throw up. This cannot possibly be happening right now. Rebecca notices your instant change in the demeanor, her own growing angry. You take a few steps back and sit down on the couch.
"You slept with him, after what he did to you?! How could you do that?!"
You are at a loss of words, despite having thought about how you were going to break this news to her one day. "Iâ I don't know, I don't know..."
"What do you mean you don't know? You slept with the guy your boyfriend cheated on you with! God, have you no self-respect?!"
Her words hit you like a slap in the face, and as the tears roll down your cheeks, you begin to shake your head.
"Rebeccaâ I..."
"No, listen, Y/N. For months, Benjamin and I have been walking on eggshells, trying so hard to make sure you're comfortable. Benjamin even punched Harry, for Christ's sake. Do you even know that?"
You nod slowly, the guilt that has been tightening around your throat settling in your stomach as well.
"I'm sorry..." You peep, looking down at the floor. Meeting Rebecca's eyes is too terrifying at the moment. You can't handle that right now.
"God... why him? You don't even like him." Rebecca goes on, and the tears prickling in your eyes turn into full blown sobs as soon as the words have left her mouth. With your hands buried in your face, you don't see your friend sitting next to you, but you feel her rubbing your back.
"Shit... you like him, don't you?" She concludes, and your crying only increases at hearing that confession fall from another person's lips. This is the most complicated thing you have ever experienced. It takes a minute or so to finally manage to control your tears, and have calmed down enough to respond.
"I don't know how this happened." You confess between your sobs. "I didn'tâ I wasn't supposed to!"
"Hey, calm down." Rebecca pulls you closer to her, and you continue crying in her lap. "Everyone has at least one person they weren'tâ supposed to sleep with."
You pull yourself up, wiping away your tears as you shake your head. "I meant, I wasn't supposed to care about him. Sleeping with him was a choice I made, and I don't regret it because it was a distraction, and it worked. But it only worked because I hated him. I wasn't supposed to start... caring."
"Sweets, being that intimate with someone will leave you with no other option than to care for them, at least at some point." Rebecca reminds you. Your gaze is fixated on the ground, all these truths flying through your scrambled mind. You let out a heavy sigh.
"I'm sorry." You finally say, and another tear slips down your cheek as Rebecca strokes your hair.
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made that comment about self worth, that was uncalled for, and mean. I was just angry, but that's no excuse."
You look at your friend, whose eyes also seem to be blurry, and conjure a faint smile. "You're forgiven."
Rebecca pulls you into a tight hug, and it takes her a full minute before you finally get her to agree to let go. When she does, she immediately stands up and grabs a glass of water for the both of you while you wipe your smudged mascara away with a tissue.
"So, what are you going to do about it?" She asks when she sits down, handing you the glass. You shrug before taking a large gulp of the water before setting it back on the table.
"I have no idea."
Rebecca leans back into the couch, eyeing you for a couple of seconds before speaking up. "Can I be really honest here?"
You're careful to look your friend in the eyes, her bluntness scaring you sometimes, but you nod anyway.
"I think you two are a pretty good matchâ you know, if you wouldn't count all the shit that happened of course. I was actually surprised when you went out with Dylan instead of Harry in the beginning. I thought Harry was a much better fit for you.â She tells you, and your brow quirks up at her words. You didn't expect her to go down this route. âYou're just... compatible, you know? Plus, I was convinced he liked you."
"Rebecca, he hated me from the start." You scoff, but she shakes her head intently.
"No I know, but I swear, he asked about you before that party where you met him and Dylan. I thought he was interested in you."
By now, you have your hands buried in your hair as you listen to all this new information that you are being fed by your friend. This is way too confusing and it's making your headache even worse.
"But then you told me he was being rude, so I just brushed it off as a lapse of judgment from my side. Of course now we know he was acting like an asshole to you because of Dylanâwhich I still think is a dick move, by the way." Rebecca rants on. The weight on your chest that had seemed to have subsided for a minute has grown in size again.
"My point is, your relationship with Harry has been a wreck from the start, and the main cause for that is Dylan. So if you can't get over the Dylan situation, it's probably going to be impossible to ever build a lasting relationship with Harry."
Rebecca's words ring in your ears. It's a revelation that has been looming in your mind for a bit now. There was a part of you that knew this was an extremely complicated situation and therefore didn't want to tackle it, as a possible solution seemed to be non-existent. You've hit a wall in your relationshipâif it even can be called thatâwith Harry, and if you really want to move forward, you'll have to climb over that wall and hope Harry will take your hand and come along.
You sigh, your tired eyes meeting Rebecca's. "You're right."
************************************************
It's been about an hour since Rebecca left and you've been pacing your living room ever since, devising a plan on how to talk to Harry. What to say to him, how to say it, and with what outcome in mind.
A knock on the door relieves your from your taunting thoughts for a moment, but opening your door throws you for an entirely different loop as you find Harry standing across from you.
He looks worn out. The dark circles under his eyes aren't extremely prominent but the sole fact that they're there tells you enough. He also appears to be in gym clothes, which makes you wonder whether this trip to your apartment was planned or not.
"Hey." He croaks out, his eyes flicking up and down your face and body, calculating any reaction that might come from you.
"Hi." You respond breathlessly. Neither of you say another wordâyou spend most of the silent minute staring at himâuntil Harry finally clears his throat.
"Can Iâ uh..." his finger points towards your living room, and before you know it, you step aside. He enters your apartment, following you as you head for your couch.
Another dreadful silence follows as the both of you sit next to each other, waiting for the other one to break first. It's excruciating and it feels like it goes on forever. You don't realize you're picking at your nail beds until Harry's voice takes you out of your dissociative trance.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" You scan his face, squinting your eyes a bit. There is something unsettling about his demeanor. It's so passive, at least it seems.
"For just leaving like that." He meets your eyes, and you notice the guilt displayed in them. Not knowing what to say, you refrain from answering as you think of everything that has happened. When you finally do open your mouth, Harry's focus on you is so intense that it makes you a bit nervous, the weight of your words becoming much heavier now that you know Harry will be hanging onto your every single one.
"You really hated me, you know. And it wasn't just because of Dylan. You despised me, always did, and I never understood why."
You watch as his eyes turn glassy and he shakes his head, softly whispering 'no' over and over again. Your brows crease at his attempt atâwhat seems to youâdenial. He can't oppose that he hated you. He has literally said it multiple times.
"Don't pretend that you didn't Harry, I know you did."
"No, that's notâ" he protests.
"Then what is it?â The questions falls off your tongue in a hurry, the frustration that has been bottled up inside of you slowly beginning to unleash. "The other night, right before spring break, I really thought we were on our way to becoming friends. I felt like it was actually possible. And then you justâ left. One glimpse of him and you were gone.â
You take a deep breath before continuing. âIt's been eating at me for the past three weeks that you just walked out and began ignoring me. So please, Harry, clarify it for me because I donât understand any of this.â
Harry hangs his head and sighs. âIt's complicated. And stupid... and probably doesn't make any sense."
"Then make sense of it." You command, leaning forward so he is forced to meet your eyes. He holds your gaze for a few seconds, then nods, a small frown on his face as he figures out what he wants to say. You try not to hold your breath as you wait for him to start, but you find yourself doing it anyway as soon as he starts speaking.
"I, uhâ I'd liked Dylan for quite some time, and he knew that. He led me on for a long time, and I was trying to get over him, but it just felt like it was impossible, you know?" He explains, picking at the skin on his fingers out of nervous habit. You hum, telling him you understand without actually interrupting him. He continues.
"So, one day I was walking out of class and I ran into Rebecca. She was with you and some other girls, and you were all waiting for her while she was talking to me. I remember seeing you, and I thought you were very pretty, which was special to me because I hadn't felt so intrigued by someone in a long time."
Your heartbeat becomes more prominent, and suddenly you can feel it beating loudly as he speaks. You fiddle with your sweaty hands. He was intrigued by you? The nerves swerve through your stomach, not being able to make sense of what Harry is saying just yet. Itâs contradicting everything youâve known about Harryâs feelings towards you since you met him. But Rebeccaâs words hang in the back of your head, and there is a wave of anticipation that almost overwhelms you: the anticipation that Rebecca might be right. Harry clears his throat.
âSo anyways, I asked Rebecca about you and she told me you'd come to the party. Later, I was kind ofâ stalking you on Instagram, and Dylan saw. He teased me about it. Suddenly he started to give me loads of attention again. And I thought maybe he was jealous, and he had realized that he liked me, and this was finally the moment that it would all work out.â He says with a certain bitterness, not necessarily aimed at anyone but himself. As if he is mad at himself for those past rose-tinted thoughts he had regarding Dylan. âBut then he got together with you at the party a couple days late, and I was just... so angry."
Harryâs eyes become glassy, and you feel your heart crack. After your break-up with Dylan it became clear how much effect he had on Harry. Now knowing the history, the constant push and pull, you donât find it weird. Harry had allowed him inside his heart time and time again, all the while Dylan would just figure out how to play at his heartstrings. Just enough to keep him coming back everything single time, hoping something had changed.
âIt felt like he wasn't allowing me to get over him. I had finally met someone who made me realize that maybe the first stages of likeâ love and dating shouldn't feel like your heart is constantly being ripped from your chest. That it could be innocent and fun. And it felt as if he was mocking me for it, by going after that hope and taking it away.â
He looks at you, and you give him a weak, sympathetic smile, swallowing away the physical pain you get from hearing about Harryâs emotional pain. Caring so deeply can be the most euphoric thing, but itâll come back to bite you in the ass when the person you care about is hurting. You realize then, in that moment, how thin the line between a blessing and a curse is.
But when your hand finds his and you intertwine your fingers, you figure itâs more of a blessing anyway.
âAnd I justâ I don't want to spin it as if you were a piece of meat, because Dylan cared about you. I saw that, and I hated it because I used to wish it was me. It made me be a dick to you, and Iâm really fucking sorry about that, because you didnât deserve that at all. If I could take all of that back then I would.â
He sighs as soon as all the ramblings of words have left his mouth, and you feel the weight of that sigh. His body tells you it as well: heâs relieved. Initially, you find yourself at a loss of words, and the only thing that your mind can generate as a response escapes before you can stop yourself.
âWell, if you take it all back then we bever wouldâve have had such mind-blowing sex, right?â You blurt out, and Harry chuckles at your stupid joke. You laugh along as you try to scramble together a real answer, stroking his hand with your thumb.
âIâm sorry Dylan used you like that, I can only imagine how frustrating that is. And while I agree you shouldâve never been so grumpy to me, I canât say that I havenât acted rude out of jealousy before.â You say earnestly, the thought of that night at the bar popping inside your head. You werenât exactly nice to that girl Harry was talking to either. In fact, you didnât acknowledge her at all.
âRebecca said we need to get over the Dylan situation if we ever want to build any sort of relationship whatsoever. We need to forgive each other and move past it, otherwise we can never beâ friends.â Your cheeks heat up at your quick save. Itâs quiet between the two of you, but his grip on your hand doesnât loosen the slightest bit. Harry is staring at his lap, making it difficult for you to read what heâs thinking. He raises his head to meet your eyes, and when you are met with the sight of a tear rolling down his cheek, your own vision blurs instantly.
"How can I forgive you for something you never did?"
The hopelessness of his question smashes your heart into a thousand pieces. You are quite sure you physically hear it crack. The broken pieces pierce into every part of your body, including your throat, that feels too heavy as you gather strength to answer him. Your breath hitches the first time you try to get some words out and fail, so your voice wavers when you manage to speak.
âI donât know...â
Taglist: @hisparentsgaleryy @love-letters-to-uranus @moonwitttch19 @notmeherelol173 @fairytale07 @valuunit
#harry styles#writing#fanfic#fanfiction#blurb#harry#one direction#one shot#smut#excerpt#harryedwardstyles#harry styles fan fic#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fanfiction#harry edward styles#harry styles imagine#harry fanfic#harry styles angst#angsty#angst fic#angst writing
189 notes
·
View notes
Text
Impossibly Real
A/N: cute little story about being in a rough dating world and having a nice neighbour friend.
Part 2
âââââââââââââââââââ
I memorize the face on my phone whilst standing in the middle of my building lobby. I study it as if I hadnât been staring at his pictures since we both swiped right a couple weeks ago.
âHot date?â A voice calls out. I look up to the sourceâone of my neighbours with takeaway in one hand and a case of beer in the other. The smell of his dinner makes my stomach rumbleâIâd skipped dinner myself for this 8pm date.
âA very hot date,â I respond. Harry was one of the first people Iâd interacted with when I moved to this complex a year and a half ago. Heâd helped me move my boxed mattress in and I thanked him with a lukewarm beer. Ever since, weâd pick up on conversation every time we saw each other.
Most of those times were when weâd both be rushing out to work in the morning. Sometimes heâd walk to the tube with me, both of us going in opposite directions. Other times his girlfriend would pick him up.
âLetâs see,â he switches his beer to the other hand and holds his hand out.
I pretend to open the app and look for my dateâs profile as if it hadnât been open for the last three hours. He makes a sound of approval when I pass it over.
âRight?â I grin as he scans the profile.
I wasnât always lucky in love. When Harry first met me I was fresh out of a 3 year relationship, and the only things to follow were bad dates and lonely nights.
âLikes pizza?â Harry says like heâd just caught sight of the guyâs private pictures.
âYeah? So what?â I feel my defences go up. âWho doesnât?â
âYeah but thatâs soâŠbasic.â He hands the phone back. âThatâs like saying âDrinks teaâ or âbreathes airâ.â
âNo itâs not!â I wanted this to be a good one so badly, I wouldnât hear any of Harryâs slander. âItâs relatable, and shows heâs down to earth.â
Harry groans. âRemind me what you do for work?â
I squint at him, unsure where he was going with his. âAnalyst.â
âAh,â he switches his beer back to his other hand and it snaps me out of the moment. I always lost track of time talking to Harry and this couldnât be one of those times. I had somewhere to be!
âAh what?â I glance at the door.
âAs an analyst youâre used to reading into things-â
âPiss off!â I shut him down. âIâm leaving now.â
âIâm joking!â Harry calls out. âIâm sure heâs a great guy.â
I donât respond to him as I walk away but he calls out my name.
âYou look great, itâll be a good date.â
âFingers crossed,â I echo. âEnjoy your night.â
I find a taxi quickly and sit on my hands the whole way there so I donât pick at my nails. There was no such thing as out of my league, I remind myself. He was just going to be a guy. A good looking guy.
***
âIâm getting a bit tipsy,â Dave admits. It was half past 9 and weâd had 5 drinks total, one of those being a nervous shot when he hadnât showed up in the first ten minutes.
âWe should get something to eat!â I suggest.
He grimaces. âItâs a bit overpriced in here.â
Oh. He was cheap.
That was rude. I snap out of my darkening thoughts. I couldnât help it: not only was Dave late, he looked 5 years older than his pictures, which wasnât a bad thing, but he was also 5 inches shorter than his profile stated.
It was awkward when he came in and I got up to hug him. Iâd worn my 3 inch heels expecting to still come to his chest but weâd met at eye level instead. I didnât want to make it awkward so I had sat down quickly. I regretted wearing these heels. They were chaffing against my feet even whilst sitting.
And the whole evening had been stiff conversation, like rubbing sandpaper against itself. It had ended in a dull evening. He was cute. That was all he had going for him.
âThereâs a really good pizza place around here!â I say casually, like I hadnât Googled the vicinity for an hour after weâd made plans. âI heard it was rated top 10 in the city.
His grimace comes back, it made him more unattractive the more he did it.
âI can go for some chips. Thereâs probably one down the road, you alright for a walk?â
âGreat!â Maybe some fresh air and a change of scenery could spice the night up.
He pays the billâmaybe he wasnât so cheap, I think. That is until we get to the chips shop and he hangs back for me to order for us. And pay.
I can already imagine retelling this date to my girl friends. They were all engaged or married so my dating stories were always amusing content for our hangouts.
Crossing from 20 to 30 made the stories more tragic than amusing, but I lived to laugh and thatâs what I usually did after getting over bad dates like this one.
âItâs a nice night,â Dave says when we get our chips. He douses his in ketchup like a toddler would. Gah!
âIt isâŠâ
âLetâs take these outside.â
Iâd rather not, with my heels digging into the backs of my feet and the blisters chafing against the fake leather. But I agree.
âSo whatâs with the pink?â He asks randomly.
âWhat?â I say over a mouthful of chip. I didnât care how disgusting I was at this point. Heâd done the bill-for-a-bill thing without asking and Iâd lost any hope I had for the evening. I may as well be gross.
âThe pink, youâve got it at the bottoms of your hair and your earrings, your lips and your skirt and your heels-â
âI like pink.â
âThatâs obvious,â he says dryly. âIs there a story behind it or something? Usually only schoolgirls wear their favourite colour that much.â
And usually only younger boys have fries with they ketchup rather ketchup with their fries, I want to say. But I keep my mouth shut.
âI think itâs overrated that getting older means getting all serious and boring. Pinkâs my favourite colour and the world can know it. Be brighter for knowing it too.â
I keep my tone light yet Dave seems to takes my personal philosophy as a direct attack.
âBut itâs a bit juvenile isnât it? You donât have to be boring just because youâre an adult but no oneâs going to take you much seriously all dressed in pink. Itâs a bit childish.â
âNot childish enough for you to want to go on a date with me,â I say. My pink hair was on display in my profile as well as many pink outfits throughout my linked Instagram. I know heâd seen it.
âThatâs not what Iâm talking about, not like that.â He backtracks. His face turns my favourite colour, even in the dark.
âWhen grown men are obsessed with Star Wars or Lord of the Rings or whatever, nobody bats an eye. They show up with fictional characters on their shirt and tattooed on their arms and itâs all dandy. But you think the worldâs going to take me less seriously because I wear a lot of pink?â
âOkay I think thereâs been a misunderstanding here.â Dave backs down like I knew he would. Iâd known too many boys like him, who charged up when they thought they had an ounce of intellect over me. Reciprocate with even an ounce of assertive energy and they back down like a well-trained dog.
This night was tragic. My hopes up for nothing. And my feet were blistered for no damn reason.
âI think weâve understood each other just fine.â I wipe my hands on a napkin and toss the rest of my chips away, ignoring the look Dave gives me. âIt was a night, Iâm going to head home now.â
âLook I-â
âGoodnight.â I walk away. I had no idea what direction but as long as I can end the night with the hope-zapper Dave.
***
On the lift up to my flat I look at myself in the mirror. Dead eyes, flushed and puffy face from the alcohol, and my hair was voluminous from the windy night air. I couldnât wait to get to my flat and take my stupid heels off. They were so painful theyâd now actually gone numb.
My phone rings as I get to my door. Dave. The nerve of that guy!
I put it on silent and fish out my keys but my phone buzzes a second time and I drop them.
âFuck!â I say just as the door behind me opens.
âWoah!â Harry steps back into his flat after nearly tripping over my crouched figure.
âUgh sorry,â I stand back up, keys looped around my finger.
âYouâre back early.â Harry slowly eyes me from top to bottom. It makes my stomach feel like a washing machine on high. âNice night with pizza guy?â
âPizza guy was just like the others.â
I lean against my door and ignore my phone thatâs now gone off for the third time in my purse.
âFair enough. He did say he likes pizza.â
âDonât make fun of me,â I whine. âI just wasted ÂŁ30 on shite company.â
âCan I offer you a beer or have you had too many?â
I look down at my watch. It was half past 10, and I had work tomorrow but life was short and I was miserable so I follow Harry in.
âIâll just toss this later.â
Itâs only then I realize Harry had a trash bag in his hands and he was in his boxers and a robe. He rests the bag near his door and motions to the fridge as he walks down his hall. âGrab me one too?â
Iâd been in Harryâs flat a few time, once when I baked too many sugar cookies for Christmas and he invited me in to eat with him. Another time when he was having a birthday party. I had thought it was cute his friends had done that for him old school. The last time was when my wifi stopped working one weekend and I had to ask him to use his. That was a nice day, both of us were going through busy season and had worked side by side on our laptops until Harry announced we were losers and should stop working to get dinner and watch a movie. That was one of my favourite days living in this complex so far.
Iâm still standing in his kitchen when he comes out with sweatpants.
âWhy are you still standing there?â
I look down at my shoes and so does he.
âDonât you want to take those off?â Harry lifts one brow, confused.
âIâm scared.â I say. I didnât know what Iâd find. I felt like I was standing in a pool of blood.
âWhy?â Harry was lucky he didnât know the fear of taking off awful shoes after a long day of breaking them in. Men were lucky that way.
I shift my heel away from the back of the shoe and pain shoots up. It sounds sticky. I whimper. âCan you get me a chair?â
âWhat did you wear?â Harryâs staring at them with a mixture of fear and confusion. He carries one of his dining chairs to me. âThose are like, torture heels.â
âTonight was torture.â I sit down and cross my foot over my knee. I take a deep breath. Harry hovers above me not able to look away. âHere goes nothing.â
I pry the shoe away and nearly cry.
âOh my god!â Harry shouts. âYo-youâre bleeding! What the f-â
âOh my god,â I was dripping onto his floor. âCan I get-â
âTissue!â Harryâs already throwing me his roll but I knock it away.
âI need help. Getting. To the bathroom.â
âRight right.â Harry kicks my shoe away and leans down so I can wrap my arm around his shoulder. I feel like an injured football player but so much more pathetic as I limp to his bathroom.
He sets me down on his toilet seat and blasts the tub with water.
âSorry,â I limp to the edge of his bathtub and swing myself so that my feet dangle in. âI didnât mean to intrude on your night.â
âIâm glad you did,â Harryâs voice still carries a hint of shock. âWhat is wrong with you? Thatâs diabolical you wearing shoes like that! Whatâs wrong with trainers? Or sandals? Donât girls like strap sandals?â
âIt just comes with being a woman okay?â I couldnât answer all his questions. âI still need to take off the other one.â
I was more scared for my right foot than my left.
âJustâŠdeal with that.â
Harryâs tub is filling with water and it stings everywhere it touches my foot. But especially my heel and all of my toes. I switch the knob to cold.
âOkay,â I take a deep breath. âThe other fucking shoe.â
I can feel Harry peering over my shoulder. This one feels glued on and I squeal as I comes off. My foot looked like a bruised and crusted mess.
âHoly sh-â Harry whispers. I dunk it fast in the running water and nearly topple backwards but Harry catches me with his knee and then stays there so I have somewhere to lean. It was nice.
âBloody hell,â I swear as my feet sting and paint the water pink. âGenuinely so sorry about this.â
âDonât be.â Harry shakes his head. âBut please toss those shoes in the bin and never wear something like that again.â
âThatâs impossible.â
âItâs not. Itâs very possible.â
âI love heels! I just need to break these in.â
âTheyâre breaking you love.â
I feel him stiffen behind me which makes me suddenly self-conscious. I didnât really read into his words, love was just a term of affection used around my friends. But apparently it wasnât something Harry used lightly.
âThey are. These ones are going in the bin, DNA and all.â I try to continue casually. This was so weird. Weirder than it needed to be given Harry and I were mates at most; Iâd met his girlfriend, I didnât think of him anything more than a neighbourhood friend. We certainly hadnât hung out outside our flats before.
âMaybe burn them to be sure,â Harry finally responds. His voice is a bit rougher than before. âDonât want to get accidentally framed with the free DNA.â
âIâm pretty sure Iâd be too obvious a murderer to commit anything stealthily. Theyâd identify the pink-haired giant walking away.â
âYouâre not a giant. Youâre not even 6 feet.â
âIâm nearly 5â9 which is tall enough for a woman.â
âI donât think so.â Harry brushes my hair behind my shoulder and a shiver runs up my spine. Maybe I should turn the icy water off. âPlus I like the pink. Makes you more interesting to look at.â
âSo Iâm not interesting to look at regularly?â I tease. I look up at him and the back of my head hits his thigh.
I see his adamâs apple bob and I suddenly feel vulnerable sitting here like this. I lean forward so my feet are steadied against the tub which is agonizing for my bloody feet but at least I wasnât leaning against him.
âI said more interesting.â
The room grows quiet and I try not to read into it. Harry thought I was interesting to look at. Okay.
I turn the tap off and the silence in the room becomes unbearable.
âHave you got any plasters?â I turn inch by inch so I donât slip on the lip of the tub or need more help from Harry. The energy in here was weird and him touching me was going to make it weirder.
âYeah,â heâs eager to leave only to come back laughing. âTheyâre actually here. IâŠâ
He opens a drawer and pulls a box out along with a tiny vial.
I take it from him, some sort of ointment oil. Why not.
âMotherf-â I bite my lip as the ointment stings my cuts. âWhy wouldnât you warn me!â
Harry laughs again and it eases the tension a little. âI thought you knew it would burn!â
âI donât treat cuts often jeez!â
âSorry! That friendâyou met him at my party, black curly hair, the one who does custom stuff?â
âOh yeah I remember.â
âI helped him out one summer. I had to hand cut all these signs using one of those exacto blades? Cut my hands up so many times I had to buy something for them after one of them got infected.â
I wrinkle my nose at the idea of an infected cut and douse my other foot in the oil, swearing as I take the pain.
âI have a roll and cotton if you want to bandage your foot?â Harry suggests. âI donât know if regular plasters cut it.â
âThatâs so dramatic,â I usually stuck a couple plasters on and got on with it. But this was also the worst Iâd ever had with breaking shoes in.
âLet me-â
âNo!â I push Harryâs shoulder away as he leans down with the roll of bandage heâd procured. âHarry do not touch my foot!â
âIâve dressed grosser,â he holds my heel gently and I try to yank it away again without falling into the tub but itâs impossible. I settle for pushing him away.
âHarry please! Iâve intruded enough stop touching my disgusting foot!â
âIâve seen you wash it. Itâs not disgusting, just bloody. Now stop squirming about!â
âWhy are youâŠâ I trail away because he wasnât listening. He dabs my foot with a cotton pad and then begins the process of bandaging my heel and then my toe. I try not to squirm at how embarrassing this was.
Harryâs gentle and attentive as he moves on to the other foot which should make me feel okay but only adds to the humiliation. We were so not close enough to do thisâI donât even know if Iâd do the same for him.
Another part of me knows I would. Despite knowing him in passing, plus a few solid occasions, I could tell Harry was one of the good guys. He was always chivalrous around the building, friendly in any interaction Iâd seen with him, loved enough to be thrown a surprise birthday party, and caring enough to always ask about how I was doing. And to do this.
When he glances up I donât expect it. Our gazes clash and the weird energy from before creeps in again.
âSorted,â he lets my foot down gently.
âHarry I owe you likeâŠa massive dinner, and drinks are on me forever forward.â
âThatâs not necessary,â he chuckles as he puts his little first aid kit back. âJust donât wear heels like that again please. Itâs not worth it.â
âTheyâre so pretty though,â I sigh. Theyâre now discarded on the tiled floor, the insides bloody.
âLetâs get you that beer,â he holds a hand out.
âI canât. Iâve kept you late and you probably-â
âOne beer.â
âI donât want to intrude-â
âJust one,â his tone is gentle but heâs not taking no for an answer.
âFine!â I admit defeat. He helps me up and together I limp to his couch.
We sit in silence for a bit while we drink. I donât know what heâs thinking about, but the events of the evening play in my head.
âHe actually insulted me.â I blurt. Before he can ask questions I explain. âFirstly he was late, then he was droning on and on about shit I donât even remember anymore. Then he was cheap about food, but because he paid for drinks he got me to pay for chips. Then he said I wear too much pink and nobody would take me seriously as an adult. That it was childish.â
âReally?â Harry leans forward from his end of the couch. âHe said all that?â
âYeah! I said men are allowed to wear their Star Wars shirts and Lord of the Rings bullshite. And when a woman wears more than one article of pink sheâs childish?â
âWhat a prick.â
âI know!â
âYouâre too good for someone like that.â
âThank you,â I sit back, seen and validated.
âThe pink makes you cool, stand out in a crowd. Heâs just blind to look at you and think that. Or heâs just intimidated.â
âOh yeah he lied about his height! So I stood there in those stupid pink heels taller than him.â
âThat must have got him,â Harry grins. âI actually love that story.â
His words warm me.
âYouâre so nice Harry,â I tell him. âHonestly youâre like a gem of a guy.â
âIâm not that nice-â
âDonât tell me youâre a bad boy or something because youâre a solid good guy. Rare. Never change.â
âHmph,â he clears his throat.
âYour girlfriendâs lucky. A lot of us have to put up with trolls before we find a good guy like you.â
Harry stays silent. Maybe Iâd said too much. Maybe I should stop drinking.
âWe broke up. Wasnât good enough for her.â
Shite. Blistered, bloody, bandaged foot directly in mouth..
âI-Iâm sorry. To hear that! Oh my god yeah I guess I havenât seen her in a while-â
âYeah been a few months now. Iâm mostly over it.â
âHow long were you two dating again?â
âAlmost 3,â Harry twists his mouth to the side. Iâd never seen him look bitter before. âI accepted it, the end of us. Until I hear from a friend she jumped right into another relationship. SoâŠthat must have been behind the scenes near the end of our relationship.â
Bitter indeed. âThatâs a shitty way to find out too.â
âI wish she was just honest. Yâknow like, I met someone else whatever. At least that way I took the hit at once and then got over it. Instead after a month of moving on I just got punched all over again.â
âThatâs a dick move.â I agree. âIâve seen you so many times the last few months why didnât you tell me?â
He shrugs, âI didnât want to bring down the mood. Felt too loaded for a conversation on the lift.â
âYou could have saved it for a walking-to-the-tube conversation?â
âThen just part ways after dropping that on you?â
âIsnât that perfect?â I tease and he covers his face. I change the subject. âMy 3.5 year relationship ended when he said he didnât see me as marriage material.â
âI thought it was a mutual breakup?â Harry asks. Iâm surprised he remembers what I told him when I first moved in.
âI lied. I didnât want you to see me as your pathetically lonely neighbour.â
He laughs at that. At least Iâd gotten a smile back on his face. âI thought it was a bit suspicious but I didnât push it. Every time I saw you when you first moved in it always looked like you cried.â
âOh my god!â I cover my face. âDonât tell me that! Thatâs so embarrassing!â
It was true. I cried for three weeks straight after the breakup but I also thought I was sly enough to get around unnoticed.
âItâs not a big deal! I used to worry about you.â
âThatâs another thing thatâll keep me up at night nowâbut see thatâs sweet! You barely knew me and you worried. Like! You were raised right.â
âSure,â he smiles my way with a laugh in his eyes. He was enjoying making me squirm but itâs this smile, one Iâd never seen before directed at me, that made me squirm the most.
âOkay now stop being sweet and kick me out.â I gingerly stand and suck up the fresh pain that comes back.
âYou can stay as long a-â
âHarry.â I look at him seriously. âI know we both work demanding jobs, and thatâs what we have to do tomorrow morning. Itâs past midnight and I should go.â
He sighs and gets up to help me hobble to his door.
âGood thing I live next doorâoh my shoes. Theyâre in your-â
âIâll get them to you later.â He promises.
âYou just want to try them on in private.â I tease as he opens his door. He waits while I fish through my purse again for my keys. I remember then the missed calls from Daveâthat feels so long ago.
âI like my feet whole.â He chuckles. âPlus Iâm tall enough.â
âSome girls think 6 feet is short.â
âHow do you know Iâm 6 feet?â
I turn my key and let my door swing open.
âIâm good at telling heights.â
âWhatâs your secret?â
âWell,â I turn back to him and put my hand on my head. âI get my height and then just measure against the person. I gauge the inches which if Iâm close enough-â Harry moved closer to me so thereâs only a few inches between us. âUhm. If Iâm close enough itâs easy to count up or down.â
âSo you count up-â
âThree or so inches.â I look up, determined to meet his eye. It was just Harry. I didnât need to feel weird around my neighbour Harry.
But I canât look away. I never noticed the depth of his eyes; theyâre mesmerizing and I canât look away.
âItâs a neat party trick.â He says so low, but weâre so close itâs loud as hell to my ears. Or maybe thatâs the blood rushing through my head.
âDonât really go to enough parties to turn it into a trick.â My voice comes out squeaky and I clear my throat. âMostly useful to compare a dating profile to the real thing.â
âHm,â he hums. His fingers toy with the pinks of my hair before draping it behind my shoulder.
âI should go.â I say for the millionth time.
He looks at me again and I forget why I should go. His gaze drops to my lips and I feel hotâhotter than the pain on my bloody feet.
âYouâre the real thing.â
Itâs unconscious, the way I arch up to him. Itâs natural, the way he meets me halfway. Itâs unforgettable, the way his soft lips feel on mine.
Until I lean my weight on my toes and Iâm reminded of my broken feet, this evening, and who I was kissing.
I couldnât be kissing my neighbour! I saw him nearly every damn day!
âHar-â I push gently at his chest and heâs quick to move back.
âSorry I-that-â
âNo Iâm sorry that was me-â
âWe shouldâŠâ
âYeah.â I grasp behind my back until my hand touches my doorframe. âUmâŠthanks for everything. Tonight.â
âYeah.â Harryâs flushed and somehow more attractive than Iâve ever noticed. He also has a smidge of pink lipstick at the corner of his mouth but I file that away for later. âGoodnight.â
âGoodnight!â I turn and quickly close my door, knowing Harry was not going to be the first to leave. Despite my head telling me not to, I turn and peep through the peephole. Heâs still leaning against his doorframe, head bowed, running his hand through his hair. I watch him mutter something and then go in. I stay there until the automatic light switches off and then sink to the floor.
Harry. Friendly, funny, neighbour Harry. Heâd dressed my bloody feet, served me beer, and then kissed me.
I touch my lips. I wasnât even mad about it. This was going to be complicated no doubt, but it wasnât the worst thing in the world.
***
I manage to avoid Harry for a week. Which is a pretty impressive feat given our doors nearly open onto each others.
But he catches me on the lift after work one day. Thereâs already two others beside me and Harry nearly misses the lift, slipping in just as itâs closing. He does a double take when he sees me.
âHey.â
âHey!â Everything was normal. Everything was fine.
âSmart choice of shoes.â
We look down at my Stan Smiths.
âIâve learned my lessonâŠfor now.â I look back up at the row of numbers. The lift stops on floor 5 and the couple get out.
âYouâve been avoiding me.â He states simply when the door closes.
âI have not!â I finally look at him and nearly lose my breath. When did he become so attractive?!
âWe see each other almost every day living the way we do. And youâre telling me we managed to miss each other for a week?â
I shrug, âitâs been a weird week.â
âWhen did the weird week start?â
Saved by the bell. The doors open to our floors with a ding, but Harry blocks me from my front door.
âAre you serious?â I try to sidestep him but he stays in my path.
âWe should talk.â
âWeâre talking now.â
âCâmon.â He sighs and moves out of my way. I sigh myself before opening my door and leaving it open behind me. He takes the hint.
âI want to apologize for that night.â Harry says. âI was just feeling vulnerable and it shouldnât have happened-â
âYouâre joking right? I was going on about how good you were and I got a little too into it I think. I totally kissed you so Iâm sorry. For making it weird-â
âI kissed you,â Harry tries to correct me.
âNo I kissed you so I should apolog-â
âNo.â Harry cuts me off.
âWhy are we arguing about this?â I throw my hands up. Weâre standing in the entryway going back and forth about this. It was stupid. âWeâre both sorry. It shouldnât have happened. Letâs just move on okay?â
âOkay,â he agrees. âSo weâre friends? Youâre not going to avoid me in the building?â
âNo.â I put my hands on my hips. âCuz I wasnât avoiding you in the first place.â
He laughs, throwing his head back and my breath catches. I lied. I wasnât sorry I kissed him but I was sorry it ruined our friendship. Damnit.
âYouâre impossible.â
âI thought I was the real thing?â I ask without thinking.
Slightly healed, but still bruised foot, directly in mouth!!!
âImpossible things can be real,â Harryâs mood changes. He stands taller and he takes a step towards me. âDoâŠdo you want us to just move on?â
I donât know how to answer that.
âIâŠwe live right next to each other Harry. Itâs-â
âUnconventional but not impossible.â
âImpossible.â
âBut it can still be real.â
I canât help it. I grin at how serious he was being with his play on words. He was serious about this though. It scared me a little.
âA date.â
âWhat about it?â I ask.
âWe go on a date, see how things are. It theyâre weird we go back to friends like we always were. If itâs goodâŠâ
âOkay. How about Friday?â I wanted this as much as it seemed like he wanted it. Dating was hard, apps were impossible. This good and kind man standing in front of me was impossible and real.
âFridayâs perfect. Wednesday would be even better.â
âToday is Wednesday.â I say before realizing what he meant.
âIt is.â
âOkay. Pick me up at 7?â
âIâll be on time.â Harryâs grin is contagious.
âGreat.â I watch him walk back to the door.
âOne favour?â He asks. I ask him what it is. âWear something pink?â
âMost definitely.â My heart surges and I feel seen. So seen.
I think he was the real thing too. Impossibly real. And possibly something more than neighbourly friends.
Excited and hopeful were an understatement. I couldnât wait.
#harry styles fic#writingsfromhome#harry styles#harry styles fanfic#harry styles x reader#harry styles fluff#one shot#harry styles one shot#harry styles imagine#fic#impossibly real#iâve been writing a little again#most of my stuff is angsty and annoying so#heres the fluffier piece lol
517 notes
·
View notes
Text
Right Person. Wrong Time
harry styles angst
summary: Harryâs fame puts you in danger, and he canât let himself be the reason you get hurt
word count: 1.1k
â â â
Harry was half way through a residency as Madison Square Garden. The whole world loved him. Heâd been crowned the new king of pop.
Youâd left the show half way through to grab some food, and ended up wandering to take in the pretty lights of the city.
Heâd barely spoken to you this morning, leaving the hotel room barely uttering a goodbye. He didnât tell you his plans for after the show or what time heâd be back at. The past few days heâd been distant. It was unlike him considering how close youâd been for the past few months.
Apart from rehearsals and performing youâd been practically inseparable since you started dating, but now it sort of felt like he was slipping away.
He got back to the hotel room after midnight, you had reruns of an old sitcom from your childhood playing on the TV while you had been waiting for him.
âYouâre late tonight.â You smile at him as he comes through the door.
âYeah.â He says gruffly.
âYou okay?â You ask, âYouâre usually in a more talkative mood.â
âBeen a long day.â He shrugged.
âYeah I get it. I just feel like we havenât spent much time together recently.â
âYeah, because Iâm working.â He snapped, âIâve had a show like every day.â
âNo, I know that-â
âWell clearly not.â
âI was just trying to be nice, no need to go all moody on me.â You roll your eyes.
âYou just donât understand what itâs like for me.â
âI donât understand?â You scoffed, âHarry Iâve given up everything for you. I cancelled the lease on my apartment, I quit my job, I left my fiancĂ©e. Just so I could come with you on this damn tour.â
âI didnât fucking ask you to do any of that.â He said angrily, âYou done all of that on your own, donât fucking blame that on me.â
âStop yelling at me.â
âThen stop being a fuckinâ brat.â
You shook your head, not believing what was happening right now.
âI told you that this wasnât going to work out, right from the beginning. I told you we shouldâve just left it in Miami, but you wanted to keep it going.â
âWe both wanted to keep it going, you were just too much of a coward to commit yourself to it. You canât commit, Harry, to anything.â
He slammed his fist against the wall, knuckles turning red with the force he hit the plasterboard. His face was red with anger. With a combination of his drunken state and the heat of this argument, this was one of the worst tempers youâd ever seen from him.
âI commit. I commit every single day. To this job, this life.â
âBut you canât commit to me?â You shout, tears welling up in your eyes, âIâm just asking for a little respect here.â
âThis just isnât working out.â He said.
Youâd tried to stay strong throughout this, but as soon as those words left his lips you couldnât help but to start crying. Tears flowed down your cheeks and sobs escaped your mouth.
Harry just stood and watched.
He stood emotionless, watching you break down in front of him, every emotion you were feeling was caused by him and he looked as if he didnât care.
âI think you should go back to Miami. Coming on the rest of the tour isnât a good idea.â
You felt sick. You felt like you were going to vomit everywhere. A mixture of different thoughts flooded your brain.
Where would you go? You had no apartment.
How would you get a flight? You had no money.
Harry had made a promise to you that heâd take care of you while he was on the road, and now heâs here breaking that promise in a million different ways.
âYouâre an asshole.â
âYou shouldâve listened to me before. This wouldnât be happening right now.â
âSo what went wrong, huh? You bored of me? You found someone else? Or has the alcohol just made you honest for the first time since Iâve known you.â
âGod, Iâve not found someone else. There is no one else canât you fucking see that?â
âThen why are you doing this? Why are you hurting me for no reason.â It was hard to breathe through the crying. It had already been a long day, but coming home to this had made it so much worse, âYouâre standing there watching me get myself into such a state and you look like you couldnât care less.â
âThereâs always a reason.â He shouts, âAlways a fucking reason.â
âThen you need to tell me. Help me understand why youâre just giving up on this. On us.â
Your heart was beating out your chest. This man, in the few months you had been together, had become your whole life. And now you were loosing him for what seemed like forever.
âIf something happened to you Iâd never forgive myself.â
âNothings going to happen, youâre being ridiculous.â
âThose photographers yesterday were just the start. Ever since people found out about us, your whole safety has been jeopardised. I will not let anything happen to you because of me.â
âHarry-â
âNo.â He interrupts, âYou wanted an explanation so let me talk.â
âAs long as youâre with me youâre not safe. People will stalk you and invade on your privacy for as long as Iâm in the public eye. This isnât the life either of us want for you.â
âI donât give a shit about all of that, I just want you.â
âI canât let you give up all your privacy just for me. Thatâs not fair.â
âThis should be my decision, Harry.â You argue.
He shakes his head.
âWhy couldnât you just tell me, instead of putting on the whole asshole act.â
âI needed you to listen. I still need you to listen.â
âI am listening.â
âWell youâre not hearing me properly then. We need to be over. We canât keep this,â He gestures between you both, âup, because it means youâre not safe.â
âThen up the security, get me a bodyguard.â
He shakes his head, and for the first time since this conversation began you could see sadness in his eyes.
âYou and I both know that you donât want a bodyguard following you around for the rest of your life.â
He reaches for your hand, placing his lips against the back of it softly.
âIâll sort out a flight and somewhere for you to stay, donât worry about that. This isnât what I want to happen, itâs what needs to happen. And if somehow, somewhere in the future weâre brought back together then we will be. Just⊠Not right now.â
Deep down you knew he was right. The insane photographer trying to get in your cab the other night was a step too far, and no doubt something like that could happen again on a bigger more dangerous scale.
But you didnât want to loose him.
Right person. Wrong time.
#harry styles#harry styles x reader#harry styles au#harry styles one shot#harry styles smut#harry styles fic#fanfic#harry styles fanfic#angst#harry styles angst#angsty fanfic#fanfiction#one direction
254 notes
·
View notes
Text
Destiny
Summary: Youâll lose Harry on August 17th, 2029.
Theyâll say it was a freak accident. That nobody could have seen it coming. Nobody could have stopped it.
But you can.
And you will.
Word Count: 1.6k
âIâm not sure. I swear, it was right here on the dresser.â
âIâll have Anthony check again. We might be able to find a copy somewhere in the office. Or maybe we can find the file through email.â
âYeah, that sounds good. Let me know. I was really looking forward to it.â
âWill do. Donât move, Iâll be right back.â
Harry nods to his manager, who disappears down the corridor of the arena, before he leans against the wall and hangs his head.
Your heart hammers inside your chest as that familiar ringing returns to your ears.Â
There he is.
Heâs so close. So fucking close, you can almost smell his vanilla cologne. Can almost feel his soft curls run through your fingers or feel his lips on your neck.
Hear his voice in your ear.
Your body aches to be near him. Every muscle, every nerve-ending, every joint vibrates with the need to be close. To walk over to him, throw your arms around his neck, and bury your face in his chest.
To hold onto him one last time.
But you canât. You made a deal.
You do thisâŠand you move on.
Harry sighs to himself and looks back up at the ceiling, hands digging into his pockets.
You know what this means. Heâs stressed. Aggravated over something he canât control, and annoyed with himself for being unable to fix it.
In the future, when he'll get frustrated, youâll press a kiss to his palm, whisper three, âI love youâs,â and count with him to ten.
Heâll remember to breathe, to relax, and to handle the problem one step at a time.
You wish you could do that now.
But this Harry doesnât know you. He hasnât met you yet.
He doesnât love you yet.
And he never will.
You take a deep breath and glance down at the envelope in your pocket that youâd snuck from his dressing room. The same envelope Jeff is currently on a mission to find.
But he wonât find it. Thereâs no other copy in existence and there wonât be again.
You promised.
If he never goes on that trip to Italy, then he never meets Alexander. And if he never meets Alexander, then he never agrees to the tour around Europe. And if he never agrees to the tour around Europe, then heâll never be in that car on August 17th at 5:03 P.M.Â
Heâll never be flipped over seven times before the vehicle crashes into the wall.
Heâll never attempt to crawl to you and drag you to safety.
Heâll never realize heâs bleeding out faster than either of you can stop it, and heâll never collapse onto the streets of Barcelona.
Youâll never lose him.
You made a deal that day. Some deity in the universe found you begging anyone that would listen to give you one more chance.
And they decided to give it to you.
Theyâd let you come back and keep him from finding that envelope. The very envelope that would set everything in motion.
Theyâd allow you to stop him.
Theyâd allow you to save his life.
Even if it means he'll never meet you.
Because you and he will bump into each other at a cafe in Paris on March 5th, 2025. Heâll already be waiting there to conduct a meeting with Alexander. The same meeting where theyâll choose the dates for the tour.Â
The day theyâll choose to send him to Barcelona.
Heâll notice your dress first and heâll stop you to tell you that itâs his favorite color. And youâll blush wildly once you realize who he is and thank him profusely for taking the time to speak with you.
Heâll offer to buy you a croissant and youâll laugh at his attempt at a French accent. Then youâll part ways for about half an hour as he and Alexander talk while you return to your chai in the corner of the restaurant.
But heâll stop by your small table before he leaves. Heâll tell you his name and ask for yours.
Youâll give it to him.
And from that moment on, neither of your lives will ever be the same.
Youâd thought long and hard about the decision before agreeing to this second chance. Wondering if there was any other way you could warn him and keep him out of that car without having to lose him completely.
Destiny said no.
As long as your soul is intertwined with his, he will always meet the same fate.Â
The only way to save himâŠis to let him go.
You hear Harry curse to himself as he runs a hand through his hair, tugging on it until he winces.Â
The last fragile shard of your heart shatters when you see him drop into a crouch, head cradled in his palms.
âThe fuck is wrong with me?â you hear him mumble, the hauntingly familiar question echoing between the empty arena walls until it finds you.
Heâs asked himself that at least a hundred times throughout your relationship.
Your answer is always the same:
âNothing,â youâll whisper before taking him into your arms. âNothing, H. Youâre perfectly imperfect and I love you.â
Heâll melt in your embrace before allowing himself to sink into your body. âI love you.â
Youâd give anything to offer him that comfort now.
Not that heâd know what to do with it.
Suddenly, his head lifts, eyes drifting around the white corridors in thought before they find you.
Your breath catches as you scramble to hide around the corner, pulse racing as you hear him stand, his shoes squeaking along the linoleum floors.
âHello?â
Your eyes squeeze shut, back pressing into the wall. âSorry,â you call, silently commanding him not to come over. âJustâŠlooking for the bathroom. My bad.â
But you hear him approach. Hear his feet lead him to you in a way that almost feelsâŠdestined.
Youâre frozen to your spot, acutely aware of the way you should be heading for the exit. You did what you came to do. Heâs safeâŠand you need him to stay that way.
But you couldnât resist one final look. One final glimpse of the man that had asked you to marry him only moments before getting into that damned car.
His head peeks out from behind the wall to look for you, brows raising when he sees the way youâre cowering away from him.Â
âAre you all right?â he asks, and his voice holds the same compassion heâs demonstrated with you a hundred times before. Despite the fact that he doesnât know you nowâŠhe still cares.
One of the many reasons you fell in love with him. His kindness for everybody.
âYes, sorry,â you repeat, eyes falling to his shoes. You canât look at him. âI justâŠcouldnât find the bathroom.â
âI get it.â He laughs. And the sound makes your stomach rip down the middle. âSâplace is huge. You wanna go down this hallway, make a right, follow that hallwayâŠand then it should be on your left.â
You nod without lifting your head. âThanks. Sorry again for bothering you.â
âNo, donât be,â he insists. âI was justâŠtaking a minute.â
âYeah,â you reply, and your voice is small. Weighed down by the burden of your grief. âSometimes we need a minute. Or two.â
âOr twenty,â he adds, chuckling again. âI swear, sometimes I think I have a handle on this shit, and sometimesâŠit feels like it's completely out of my hands. Like somebody else is pulling the strings and Iâm justâŠalong for the ride.â
Your throat constricts as the imminent tears rush to your eyes. âYeah.â
He pauses and you can feel his eyes on the top of your head. Heâs studying you. Your body language, your demeanor, your voice. Looking for something. Looking for whatâs wrong.
He did this all the time when you were first dating.
Eventually, he learned to read you like a book.
âSeriously, are you all right?â he asks again, softer this time. Hoping to coax a real answer out of you.
No. No, youâre not all right. How are you supposed to tell him goodbye? How are you supposed to look at the man that asked you to marry him and see that he has no idea who you are?
And that he never will?
How are you supposed to walk through those double doors when you know that the moment you doâŠyouâll forget. Youâll forget him, youâll forget your relationship, and youâll forget the fact that you lost him.
And maybe thatâs okay because at least then, youâll forget that you watched him die. Forget that you watched the life leave his eyes as his hand went limp in yours.
Heâd made you promise youâd be okay.
And it was the last thing he ever did.
You donât know if heâd approve of this. You donât think he would.
But youâd rather have his life than his love.
You take a deep breath and force your shoulders back. âYes, sorry. Just taking a minute myself.â
He hums. âYeah. I get that. Life isâŠhard.â
âVery,â you whisper before you trail your eyes to his.
He smiles.
And it almost guts you.
âTryâŠcounting to ten,â you say as you take a step back, putting a lifetime of distance between you. âWhenever Iâm upset, I just take a deep breath, hold it, and count to ten. And when Iâm doneâŠeverything doesnât feel soâŠloud.â
He seems intrigued by this premise, the corner of his mouth quirking up into a smirk as he nods once. âYeah. Iâll try that.â
You nod yourself and turn on your heel. You donât want to leave him but you canât stay.
Destiny is calling you back.
You make it about three steps before a hand snatches onto your wrist and spins you around.
You know this touch. Know what it means, and you canât force yourself to see him as he steps closer.
âWait,â he murmurs, and thereâs an urgency woven between each syllable that springs the tears to your waterline.
You go still.
"I know you..." he whispers, eyes trailing over the side of your face, "...don't I?"
Even now, the echo of his love calls out for you.
You swallow every truth you wish you could tell him, and slip yourself from his touch for the last time.
âYou used to.â
~ Other Harry Blurbs
~ Full Masterlist
Taglist: @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @keepdrivingkisses @swiftmendeshoran @tiredinwinter
#harry#harry styles#harry styles imagine#harry styles blurb#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fan#harry edward styles#harry styles x reader#harry styles x you#harry styles one shot#harry styles angst#angsty#angst
505 notes
·
View notes
Text
LIFE OF REVA (H.S) || masterlist
summary: Reva, a young woman who recently moved to a foreign country to pursue her higher education, is striving to adapt and navigate her new life. Harry, her flatmate, becomes a significant part of her journey.
status: ongoing (will keep updating it)
ౚà§à±šà§à±šà§à±šà§à±šà§
REVA D'SOUZA HARRY STYLES
CHAPTERS :-
chapter 1
chapter 2
A/N : to read more of my work ~ muserryy masterlist
#harry styles#harry styles imagine#harrystyles x reader#harry styles fanfiction#louis tomlinson#liam payne#niall horan#zayn malik#fanfic#writing#harry styles one shot#harrys house#harry smut#harry styles one direction#flatmates#roommates#harry#collegeboy#students#angsty#harry styles fluff#homesickness#overthinking#insecurity#anxitey#self concious#quiet girl#reva
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
harry styles recs - part 2
champagne problems | two shot, angsty flangst | @avatar-anna
happy 30th birthday, baby | one shot, fluff (slight angst) | @musicforastylesrestaurant
casual | imagine, angst | deactivated blog
pleasing | one shot, fluff | @moonchildstyles
an argument then promo | au, one shot, flangst, comfort | @avatar-anna
renaissance | au, one shot, fluff | deactivated blog
mad man | imagine, flangst | @watchmegetobsessed
elevator meet-cute | one shot, fluff | @velvetballaspark
best friends my ass | one shot, fluff (slight smut at the end) | @theonewiththefanfics
wishing you were here tonight⊠| au, fluff, smut | @guardarecheluna
you & i | au, one shot, fluffy flangst | @finelinefae
brat | au, imagine, flangst | @finelinevogue
partners in crime | au, one shot, flangst (more fluff) | @watchmegetobsessed
valentine | imagine, fluff | @harrysfolklore
flirty 30 | imagine, flangst | @gucciwins
pretty | au, one shot, flangst | @harstyle
...i think i love you | one shot, flangst | @harstyle
good omens | au, one shot, trifecta (smut/fluff/angst) | @enthusiasticharry
never been with a man like harry before | imagine, fluff, comfort | deactivated blog
strong | au, one shot, flangst | @1d1195 (small tw)
dog days are over | au, one shot, fluff | @nationalharryleague
to new beginnings | imagine, fluff | @finelinevogue
sunflower | au, one shot, fluff | @1d1195
rain-kissed | au, one shot, fluff (slight angst) | @justlemmeadoreyou
soft launch | imagine, fluff | @watchmegetobsessed
knew you where the one | imagine, fluff | @harrywavycurly
welcome to the city | au, imagine, flangst | deactivated blog
something in the orange | imagine, flangst (more angst) | @finelinevogue
invitation | one shot, angsty flangst | @1d1195
home 'sweet' home | imagine, fluff | @cherievol6
crying in the backseat | two shot, angst | @cherievol6
flinches during an environment | imagine, flangst | @a-strange-familiar
independent | au, one shot, fluff | @1d1195
cloudburst | one shot, angsty flangst | @moonchildstyles
flame | au, series | @jarofstyles
you don't have to be sorry | imagine, flangst (more fluff) | @satellite-evans
buttercup | one shot, flangst, comfort | @1d1195
not life a friend | one shot, flangst | @harrysbabycherry
979 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love you, i'm sorry
based on the song 'i love you, i'm sorry' by gracie abrams.
pairing: harry styles x actress!reader
i promise the next one shot i post won't be angsty!! haha i just love it.
(masterlist)
Two Augusts ago, the world was theirs. Y/N, a rising actress with a radiant smile and a captivating screen presence, had just landed her breakout role in a critically acclaimed film. Harry, the soloist singer from one of the most known boy bands worldwide, was on the cusp of global stardom. Their paths crossed at a star-studded after-party, a whirlwind of flashing cameras and intoxicating energy.
Their connection was instant, a magnetic pull that drew them together like moths to a flame. Y/N was captivated by Harry's wit, his passion for music, and the vulnerability he revealed beneath his confident exterior. Harry, in turn, was mesmerized by Y/N's intelligence, her infectious laughter, and the way her eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief.
Their romance blossomed in the spotlight, a whirlwind of red carpet appearances, stolen kisses backstage, and late-night jam sessions in dimly lit recording studios.
Y/N's career soared as she took on challenging roles, her performances garnering critical acclaim and adoration from fans. Harry's solo career skyrocketed to fame, their music topping charts and filling stadiums with screaming fans.
But as their individual stars rose, the cracks in their relationship began to show. The demands of their careers pulled them in opposite directions, leaving little time for the intimacy they once cherished.
The constant scrutiny of the media added another layer of pressure, their every move dissected and analyzed under the harsh glare of the public eye.
As Harry's band embarked on a grueling world tour, the distance between them grew, a chasm widening with each missed call and unanswered text.
Y/N poured her heart into her latest film, a drama that demanded her full attention. Long hours on set and emotional scenes left her drained and craving the warmth of Harry's voice, the comfort of his touch. But his calls became sporadic, his texts filled with vague apologies and promises of making it up to her.
One sweltering August evening, after a particularly draining day on set, Y/N's phone finally buzzed with an incoming call from Harry. A wave of relief washed over her as she eagerly answered, her voice trembling with a mixture of longing and frustration.
"Harry! It's been days," she exclaimed, trying to keep the hurt from her voice. "I've barely heard from you."
"I know, love," he replied, his voice muffled as if he were speaking from a crowded space. "I'm so sorry. It's been crazy out here."
"Crazy? Or just too busy for me?" Y/N retorted, the words escaping her lips before she could stop them.
A heavy silence settled over the line. "Don't start this again, Y/N," Harry sighed. "You know how hectic touring can be."
"But you promised to call more often," she said, her voice rising with each word, like the crest of a wave before it crashes. "You promised to make time for us, even when you're on the road."
Her eyes, once filled with trust and understanding, now held a glimmer of doubt. The weight of his broken promises bore down on her shoulders, reminding her of the distance that had grown between them.
They had talked about this, hadn't they? It had not been the first time the topic had arisen.
Three times now, they had sat down together for a call, their hearts filled with hope, and he had reassured her with promises of improvement.
But like sand slipping through one's fingers, his pledges faded into emptiness after a few short weeks. The sting of betrayal pierced her heart, leaving her feeling lost and alone.
"I'm trying, okay?" Harry snapped, his patience wearing thin. "But it's not always easy. You have your work, I have mine. We can't expect to be glued to each other's side all the time."
His words stung, a harsh reminder of the growing distance between them. "Maybe you're right," Y/N said, her voice barely a whisper. "Maybe we're not meant to do this anymore."
A tense silence followed, broken only by the sound of Harry's ragged breathing. "Is that what you want, Y/N?" he finally asked, his voice laced with a hint of desperation.
Y/N closed her eyes, tears welling up. "I don't know what I want anymore," she admitted, her voice thick with emotion. "All I know is that this isn't working. It's not the way it used to be."
More silence. Then, a resigned sigh. "Maybe you're right," Harry echoed. "Maybe it's time we both moved on."
The call ended abruptly, the silence echoing in Y/N's ears. She collapsed onto her bed, tears streaming down her face. The love she'd once cherished felt like a distant memory, a fading dream.
Ever since that day, they havenât spoken.
Two years drifted by, a silent chasm stretching between them, filled with unanswered calls, unsent texts, and a lingering ache of what could have been.
Y/N immersed herself in her career, her ambition a shield against the pain of their separation. Each successful role, each award, was a testament to her resilience, a badge of honor earned through countless hours of dedication and the shedding of silent tears.
Harry, on the other hand, had soared to fame. Sold-out stadiums, chart-topping hits, and a whirlwind of adoring fans marked his journey. Yet, amidst the deafening roar of applause, a quiet yearning gnawed at him, a longing for the warmth and laughter that had once filled his life.
One night, as Y/N mindlessly scrolled through social media, her thumb absently swiping past countless posts, a video thumbnail caught her eye. It was from a popular Pop news account, and the post was recent, just published a few seconds ago.
It was a grainy, fan-recorded clip of Harry's final show in Europe. The caption read, âHarry Styles singing a new, unreleased single about heartbreak on one of his shows on August 18th.â
A date seared into her memory, the two-year anniversary of their heartbreaking split.
Curiosity, mingled with a bittersweet pang of nostalgia, compelled her to click on the video. The familiar strains of Harry's voice filled her ears, but the song was new, raw and vulnerable, a far cry from his usual upbeat anthems. As the camera zoomed in on his face, she saw a flicker of pain in his eyes, a vulnerability she hadn't seen in years.
"This song," he began, his voice thick with emotion, "is special to me. It's for someone who I hurt deeply. Someone who I never stopped loving, even when I was too proud to admit it."
Y/N's breath hitched. Her hand flew to her mouth, stifling a sob. It was as if he were speaking directly to her, across continents and time zones, his words piercing through the carefully constructed walls she'd built around her heart.
Tears streamed down Y/N's face as she listened to his voice with the guitar melodies, the lyrics pouring out of Harry like a confession, a desperate plea for forgiveness.
I love you, I'm sorry.
The words echoed in her mind, each syllable a painful reminder of their love lost. The video ended, leaving Y/N breathless and overwhelmed.
A wave of emotions washed over Y/N â sorrow, longing, and a flicker of hope she hadn't dared to feel in years. It was as if the distance that had separated them had vanished, replaced by an invisible thread connecting their hearts.
The video ended, leaving Y/N breathless and overwhelmed. Lost in her thoughts, she absently refreshed her Twitter feed, her eyes widening in shock as she saw her own name trending alongside Harry's.
Her heart pounded in her chest as she scrolled through countless tweets, each one dissecting the lyrics of his new song and speculating about its inspiration. The consensus was clear: it was about her.
"Harry's new song is a love letter to Y/N," one tweet proclaimed.
"He's clearly still in love with her," another user declared.
"This is the apology we've all been waiting for!" a fan account chimed in.
The sheer volume of tweets, the overwhelming outpouring of support and speculation, left Y/N reeling. It was as if the world had become a chorus, echoing the unspoken truth that had lingered between them for two long years.
As the tweet became more popular, her phone buzzed with incoming messages from friends and colleagues, all asking the same question: "Is it about you?"
Y/N didn't know how to answer. A part of her wanted to deny it, to protect herself from the potential heartbreak that lay ahead. But another part of her, the part that had never stopped loving Harry, yearned for it to be true.
As she re-listened to the lyrics of his song, the raw emotion in his voice echoing in her ears, she couldn't deny the truth any longer. It was about her. It was always about her.
The emotions swirling within her were too powerful to ignore. With trembling fingers, Y/N typed a simple message:
âHey.â
She hesitated, her thumb hovering over the send button. But before she could second-guess herself, she pressed send, the message disappearing into the digital abyss.
To her surprise, the three dots indicating he was typing appeared almost immediately. Her heart hammered in her chest as she waited for his response.
âHey.â
His reply was a single word, but it held a universe of unspoken emotions.
âI listened to your new song,â she typed back, her fingers flying across the screen.
âIt's for you.â
The words appeared on her screen, stark and unadorned, yet carrying the weight of two years of regret and longing.
Y/N's breath hitched. She didn't know what to say, how to respond to this unexpected confession. A million questions swirled in her mind, but the only words she could manage were:
"Can we talk?"
The reply came almost instantly:
"Please."
A surge of adrenaline coursed through Y/N's veins. She didn't know where this conversation would lead, but she knew she had to take this chance.
After two years of silence, the door to their past had been cracked open, and she had to find out if there was any hope of rekindling the flame that had once burned so brightly between them.
#harry styles imagine#harry styles x reader#harrystyles#harry imagine#harry styles x y/n#harry styles fic#harry styles series#famous!harry
418 notes
·
View notes
Text
false god
PAIRING harry styles x reader
SUMMARY harryâs having trouble finding enough time to spend with y/n, even after she drops everything and joins him on tour. when they talk, they only seem to argue. when they donât, they only seem to fuck.
WARNINGS sheâs an angsty oneâ lots of miscommunication, poorly executed arguments, and general couple fighting content. BUT!! there is lots of really cute fluff at the end :> also, beware of smutty content such as soft!dom harry (my favorite), oral (f!receiving, implied m!receiving), unprotected p in v, a brief hesitation to get naked on y/nâs part, an even more brief mention of bondage play, harry leaves like one love bite, and tooth-rotting holding each other while having sex content. lmk if i missed anything!
WORD COUNT 5.5k
AUTHORâS NOTE fun fact this was supposed to be done months ago and then literally everything that could have gotten in my way did just that. but sheâs here now!! writing this was a challenge but i feel so good about it now that itâs complete and i canât wait for you all to read it. please lmk you enjoyed by leaving feedback and/or reblogging!! special thanks to @cherryjuiceblues for beta reading for me <3 ily <3
LOVER SELECTION one-shots here.
copyright © sleepyhollands. all rights reserved. || my masterlist.
âharry, it doesnât matter ifââ
âit does to me!â
âhey, there are two people in this relationship, you know.â
âyeah, anâ one of âem feels like right shit on whatâs meant to be the greatest tour of his life! doesnât that mean anythinâ to you?â
âof course it does, i justââ
âreally? âcause yâcouldâve fooled me, love.â
âharry, i swear, if you interrupt me one more time, iâm booking the next flight home.âÂ
⊠tour had been going really well for harry! he was playing back to back sold out shows in some of the biggest cities in the world, with adoring fans lining up by the thousands, itching to hear him sing live. heâd already had some really sweet interactions on stage, and no crazy mishaps had occurred (he was especially proud of himself for having ensured everyoneâs safety so far). just in the last week alone, heâd been nominated for three different awards for his newest album and performances. anyone could see that he was living a dreamâ the dream, really. the kind that only comes true once in a blue moon.Â
and yet⊠tour had been going really poorly for harry. now, he doesnât like to complain about much; he knows just how fortunate he is, and actively tries to see the bigger picture when frustrated. but it was really hard to zoom out of his particular situation when he was so zeroed in on a particular aspect that had been bugging him for weeksâ y/n.Â
donât get him wrong! y/n herself wasnât what was bothering him. it was more so her presence, and his⊠lack thereof.Â
if thereâs one thing harry prides himself on more than anything, itâs being an attentive loverâ even in the most innocent and platonic of ways. he tries his absolute hardest to be a supportive brother, a considerate son, a (hopefully) decent role model to those who look up to him, and especially a present, loving boyfriend. and for the most part, heâs just as successful in those aspects as he is in his career. in fact, y/n regularly speaks of how harry treats her like she hangs the stars in the sky just for him, how he makes her feel like the most special girl in the world.Â
but this tour was taking its toll, and harry was taking it out on y/n. heâs never been great at communicating everything in the most positive of waysâ thatâs where he turns to songwritingâ and heâd let his emotions get the better of him after letting them build up for the past couple of weeks. he wasnât proud of himself, but he needed an outlet.Â
harry didnât mean to start the fight. but when y/n asked him where heâd been after a last minute management meeting following that nightâs show kept him an extra half hour later than he said heâd be, it was like all the frustration just erupted. inadequacy is one of his least favorite feelings (next to loneliness), and being a barely-there or only-sometimes-there boyfriend couldnât be more of a trigger for that particular emotion.Â
now here they were, vexation filling the tour bus around them like a fog they could barely see through, inhaling it with every breath and releasing it back into the atmosphere surrounding them. harry huffed out a sigh, arms crossed and brow furrowed as he angrily looked out the window of the tour bus to distract himself for a moment, having to mentally step away from the argument at hand, even if just for a few seconds. watching as the dark streets outside shined with the headlights of other vehicles, he found himself wishing he were in one of them. it would be nice to be in a car alone, nothing but his thoughts and some music to keep him company.Â
but he had real company. she was standing not six feet away from him, emulating his defensive position with her arms drawn across her own chest, jaw clenching and relaxing every other moment. when he finally turned to look at her again, he exhaled loudly.Â
âwe were crazy to think that this could work,â he mumbled, barely audible to y/n, but she was able to make it out.Â
even when they fought, the girl seemed to be in sync with him, inhaling deeply, subconsciously countering his previous expulsion of breath. the yin to his yang.
âwhat are you talking about?â
harry groaned at her words. how didnât she get this? ây/n, iâm never around! i wake up when youâre still asleep, prepare for the day, go to the venue, help set up the stage, sound check, rehearse a bit, and then âm off tâgo get ready for a show that lasts two hours. almost each night! i come back exhausted and aching to sleep! where dâyou see yourself fitting in there?â
when y/n realized it was her turn to speak again, she said, âfirst off, do you think you could please calm down a little? i canât talk to you when youâre like this.â
his eyes narrowed. âlike what?â
âwhen youâre acting like a child, harry! i mean, for godâs sake, iâm not nine! i can handle hanging out on my own for a few days at a time and just getting to cuddle with you at night until you have a day off. itâs not like i donât have things to do throughout the day, too.â
while harry tended to say things he didnât exactly believe in the heat of the moment, y/n meant every word she uttered. she really was content relaxing in the tour bus or a hotel room taking care of work on her laptop, catching up on new episodes of her favorite shows, or even going out to explore whatever new city they were in by herself. harry had breaks between show days once or twice a week, and the thought of having those days to themselves was enough to sate her desire to spend time with him. it annoyed her that he didnât understand that, as sheâd never been the clingy type and was always very self-sufficient.Â
âoh, iâm acting like a child, am i? right, i didnât realize that wanting tâbe present in my relationship with my girlfriend was childish, but hey, you learn something new every day, i sâpose.âÂ
oh, y/n was really starting to seethe now. letting her arms fall to her sides with a frustrated puff, she began again.Â
âgod, harry, youâre not childish for wanting to spend time together! iâm saying you need to realize that iâm perfectly capable of waiting for your days off to really spend time with you. youâre acting like we canât function without each other!â
âthe whole idea of you cominâ on tour with me was to have this time together, y/n,â harry fired back. âif weâre barely going to get to see each other anyways, then whatâs the bloody point?â
âŠ
harry might have spoken too soon. at least, thatâs what he thought as he laid overtop y/n on the tour bus couch, because now the point might very well be getting to just feel her lips on his every now and again.Â
it was late; harry had just come back from a show. usually, heâs too tired to do anything but crash onto a cloud-like mattress after all the jumping around he does on that stage, but this time all he wanted was his girl. itâd started innocently enough, with harry pulling y/n into his lap on the worn, red leather of the couch. his hands roamed along her hips and down to her waist beneath her soft hoodie (which wasnât even technically herâs, but is it really theft if harry just leaves his clothes lying around for her to nab?), exploring the soft expanse of her skin, not straying any lower. her own hands were hidden in his curls, lightly scratching at his scalp in what she hoped were soothing motions.Â
harry knew he was done for once he initiated the kiss. tentative at first, he pressed light pecks along the corner of her mouth, quick and feathery, like he didnât really care if he got to kiss her so much as he got to hold her, or simply be with her. but soon, the eagerness set in, like he wasnât sure when the next time heâd get to have her was, and suddenly he was capturing her mouth with his own, barely giving her a chance to breathe as he tasted her. while harry never really believed in a higher power, he could have sworn he found religion in her lips.Â
things only escalated from there. it wasnât long before harry was wrapping his muscular arms around y/n, so tight that he accidentally squeezed too hard, earning a squeak from the girl. he muttered a hushed but sincere ââm sorry, darling,â to compensate. one hand supported her head, the other splayed across her back as he laid her against the cushions so that he could keep loving on her on the way down. he relished her little whimpers that she tried so hard to suppress, grinning against her jawbone, her neck, any skin he came across on his journey south to more pressing territory.Â
harry didnât bother removing y/nâs hoodie, opting instead to push it up past her naval in favor of gaining access to the waistband of her fluffy sleep shorts. he felt her hands tighten their grip ever so slightly on his shoulders as he hooked his fingers under it, relaxing again when he rubbed the pad of his thumb delicately along her hipbone, reminding her it was only him.Â
it was a thing with y/n. she loved harry, of course she did, and she trusted him more than anyone. and maybe it was the way she was brought up, or perhaps a few poor experiences with sexual partners in the past, but there was always a fleeting moment of anxiety before shedding the clothing barrier before sex. like dipping a toe into a cold lake and hesitating a little, then ultimately deciding that jumping in wouldnât be so bad.Â
harry never pried. the first few times theyâd slept together, he noticed her nerves, and asked her if she was sure she wanted to continue. y/n had said yes each time, and after a while, he stopped asking. but still, whenever he noticed that brief nervous shift, harry gave her a chance to change her mind.Â
this time, he bided his time by sponging tender kisses right above where his fingers were still half hidden under her shorts. he wanted her to feel safe, and taken care of, and he hoped his gentle touches and even breathing could remedy her anxiety. as he waited, harryâs mind driftedâŠ. he was getting lost in the feel of her soft skin, its dips and curves and blemishes. he thought about her waist, how his hands fit so perfectly against its sides; her tummy, and how the muscles there jolted when he tickled them; and her hips⊠god, if y/nâs body was a church, her hips could be the altar. harry was ready to say a prayer right then, thanking every higher power for blessing him with this gorgeous girlâ
âharry?â his loveâs melodic voice interrupted his thoughts, and harryâs eyes snapped up to meet hers, his nose continuing to skim just above her navel. âum⊠you can keep going. please.âÂ
the corner of harryâs mouth quirked upward, and y/n could have sworn she caught a glimpse of mischief in the jade of his irises, but it was gone in an instant, as he wasted no time in stripping her of her bottoms.
âŠ
âgod, h-harry,â panted y/n, her grip on his curls constricting with every lick to her core, ââs so good, ohââ
âwould feel even better if yâstopped trying târun away from me, wouldnât it? donât wanna have to tie you down.â
y/n couldnât help it! it wasnât her fault if harryâs tongue was just too good and her bodyâs natural reaction was to attempt to escape his grip for a little relief. if anything, he should be happyâ theyâd been at this for so long y/n lost count of the minutes, and after two toe-curling orgasms, one would think harryâs jaw could use a break.Â
but that thought flew out the window when y/n remembered who she was metaphorically in bed with.Â
ââm sorryâŠ,â she whimpered, gripping the side of the couch cushion as her eyes squeezed shut.
âdonâ have to be sorry, darling,â harry mumbled against her folds, chin glistening with her arousal as he placed a soft kiss to y/nâs clit, making her jolt in his hold. he breathed a short laugh, adjusting his arms so that one held her upper thigh next to his head, while the other pinned her hips to the red leather, restricting her ability to move. âjusâ wanna make you feel as good as possible, is all. will yâlet me?â
harry turned his head, nipping at the inside of the girlâs thigh, and she gasped at the brief assault on the softest skin of her body, now adorning the mark of his front teeth that she loved so much. she shuddered a breath as best she could, and harry could tell by the way her knuckles were turning white in their grip on the couch that she was trying her best to be good. feeling a twinge of guilt, he figured maybe he should offer her a second to breathe. y/n opened her eyes when she felt harryâs lips retreat from her aching cunt and the weight of his head rest against the love bite.Â
âhey.â
y/n cast her gaze down upon the boy (who looked far too innocent, considering what they were doing) with his cheek laid on her inner thigh, stray hairs tickling her just a tad. playfulness swam in his eyes, but there was an underlying current of concern.Â
âdoinâ okay?â
she nodded, gulping. harry noticed.Â
âbecause we can take a break if you want to. just say the word, okay?â
âi will, i-i promise. but⊠can you please keep going?â
that was all he needed to get right back into it, only with even more fervor than before. when y/n reached her third and final peak of the night, her whole body shook, and harry had the pleasure of getting to watch as he helped her ride out her high. he almost came in his pants, rutting his hips into the sofa, moaning against her core, begging her give it tâme, love, thatâs it.
harry pulled back when she started pushing at his head, whining for relief as he gave one final lap at her core. he grinned at her fucked-out figure as he wiped his face on his forearm, then took her hand that had been grasping at the cushion in one of his, bringing the back of it to his lips for a gentle kiss.Â
âfeel all right, baby?â
âmhm,â she hummed between heaving breaths, glancing at what she assumed could only be a quite painful stiffy between his legs as he sat up, âdo you?â
harry followed her line of vision, offering her a chuckle and an iâm fine, using his free hand to smooth his thumb along her brow. before he could even register it, her palm slipped from the grip of his other hand and traveled down to rub against the bulge in his pants, earning a sharp hiss from her boyfriend and a deep groan soon after.Â
âwhy donât you let me repay the favor?â
âŠ
harry was pretty sure y/n was asleep. if she wasnât, she was definitely on the vergeâ her breaths were deep and even as she laid in his hold, her head on his chest, ear pressed overtop his steadily beating heart. and who could blame her? the eveningâs activities had worn her out, which meant harry had done his job properly. he was more than happy to be wide awake, running his fingertips up and down her arm, inhaling the sweet scent of her fruity body wash while she dreamt if it meant she was rested and content and happy.Â
moments like these made harry think they could get away with it. the long hours spent apart, the hectic schedules, the fighting. sure, it was tough, and yes, they both had a temper that rivaled one anotherâs for the âleast amount of patience awardâ on any given day. but every missing ounce of patience was compensated by double its weight in love. they loved one another enough to make it work.Â
they could make this work.Â
right?
âŠ
âjesus, harry, how do you think that makes me feel? youâd honestly rather i not be here? are you actually that insecure?â
âcâmon, y/n, you know thaâs not what i meant.â
y/n felt like they were going around in circles, having the same fight over and over again. only this time, the couple found themselves in a beautiful hotel room, with a beautiful view overlooking a beautiful city. and instead of getting to enjoy it, y/n was glaring at harry though the vanity mirror, his back facing her as he tamed his wild curls for tonightâs show⊠which he had to leave for in just a few short minutes.Â
the balled up fist on y/nâs hip flew up to her face, fingers flexing to pinch at the bridge of her nose as her eyes squeezed shut for a moment.Â
âi canât believe this. i dropped everything to be here with youâ to support you on the most incredible tour of your careerâ and instead of being happy iâm here as opposed to the alternative of thousands of miles away in a different time zone for months, youâre sitting here bitching about being too tired?âÂ
harry sighed deeply, only infuriating y/n more. âyouâre missing the point. âs not that i donât want you here, or just that âm too tired. âs knowing youâre sitting around by yourself, waiting on me while âm working, when you could be out with friends and family, or sleeping in the comfort of your own bedââ
âthat youâre not in!â the girl loudly interjectedâ how didnât he get this? âi put all those things aside for us, har. itâs not like iâm leaving my life behind for years. christâs sake, the tour is over in two months! but somehow, being away from my home and routine is easier than being in the same room as you right now.â
harry contemplated his next words carefully, turning them over in his head a few times and editing any obvious mistakes, leaving the pair of them to marinate in suffocating silence for a good ten or so seconds before he finally spoke.Â
ây/n⊠i canât be a good boyfriend and a serious artist simultaneously, okay? not while âm on tour. i canât keep losing sleep over how well iâm balancingââ
âokay, you know what, harry? you know what? maybe you should just leave me, then. wouldnât that be easier? youâd be able to sleep better at night, right?â
they both knew she didnât mean it, though harry couldnât lie and say it didnât hurt to hear. but she was pissed, and harry knew better than to try to reason with her when she was like this.Â
when she realized he wasnât going to respond, instead electing to stare brokenly into the mirror, she continued. âyou know damn well how hard i work for this relationship. iâve flown across the oceans that have separated us, driven for hours just to get to see you for, like, oneâ hell, iâve skipped some of my most important classes so we could go to shitty dive bars in the middle of the day together! yeah, remember that? i love you, okay? people who love each other are supposed to be grateful for any time they have together at all, no matter if itâs every day or once a year.â
y/n took a breath, finally cooling down after her heated rant. she took a moment to take in the sight of her boyfriend, dressed so vibrantly, feeling anything but.Â
âthey warned us about times like this,â the defeated tone of y/nâs whisper was enough to finally get harry to say something.Â
âwhat was that, love?â
the girl swallowed the little saliva in her mouth before speaking up a mere decibel. âremember what my parents said? âthe road gets hard, and you get lost when youâre led by blind faith,ââ she imitated her fatherâs deep voice, and if not for the circumstances, harry mightâve laughed.Â
they werenât lost, were they?
âŠ
if there was such a thing as heaven on earth, y/n is pretty sure sheâs been there. in fact, she goes there whenever harry so much as touches her.Â
when he kisses her shin as they lay watching a movie together on the couch, pulling her leg up off his lap and craning his neck downward to meet it in the middle. when he runs his fingers down the bridge of her nose, making an exaggerated boop! noise once he reaches the tip, gently pressing against it like a doorbell. and especially when he has her like this.Â
harryâs arms felt secure wrapped around y/nâs torso, her hips moving back and forth atop his own. the feeling of his cock twitching and shifting inside her while her nipples rub deliciously along his chest made her dizzy, like she had just gotten off a loopy rollercoaster. harryâs back arched just slightly off the plush mattress of their hotel suiteâs bed when y/n gave a little bounce, arms constricting around her and forcing a pleased sigh to fall from her lips.Â
the girl hid her face in the crook of his neck, and harry could feel each and every hot breath against his skin. lost in pleasure, he let his large hands migrate from her hips down to her bum, where he gave a small pinch to the flesh, eliciting a yelp and a small jolt from y/n.Â
âsorry, baby,â he laughed, âcouldnât help mâself.â harry gently flattened his palm against the now tender skin, rubbing there softly in an attempt to soothe the little ache he left. when he felt satisfied, he shifted to rubbing between her shoulder blades instead, his other arm still wrapped around her lower back as she returned to her previous rhythm above him.Â
y/n could tell harry was enjoying himself. his groans alone were evidence enough, not to mention the little utterances of âshit, darling,â and âso good tâme,â he frequently let slip. but perhaps he just needed a bit more to reach his high, because without warning his hands were on her thighs, gripping tightly as he began to thrust upwards into her at a much quicker pace than she had originally setâ it had her seeing stars in a matter of mere seconds.Â
âoh, godâ harry,â y/n gasped out, gripping the edge of the plush pillow by harryâs ear. she could feel him hitting that special spot inside her with every snap of his hips, and she couldnât stop her eyes from rolling back into her head, muscles tightening all throughout her body.Â
âalmost there, angel⊠justâŠ,â harryâs thrusts began to slow, becoming more deliberate, and now he was moving her hips to grind against his each time they met, sending y/n over the edge.Â
y/nâs moans were long and drawn out as she came, body spasms making her hold on more tightly to harry for stability. she didnât even hear him finish, too busy reveling in the euphoric feeling of cumming in his arms, surrounded by warmth and love and feeling the safest she had in a long while.Â
it was moments like these where y/n couldnât fathom how sheâs ever been upset with harry. he was perfect, lying here under her unsteady body, breathing deeply not only to catch his breath, but to take in the smell of her. she wanted this for eternity. and if this was heaven, then surely hell was when they fought with each other.Â
âŠ
y/n thought she was dreaming at first, not used to being roused from her slumber by anything other than her well-timed alarm and the occasional bark of a dog on a nearby street. she expected that after blinking the sleep from her eyes a few times, the vague image of her favorite boy would dissipate, and sheâd fall back into the comfort of her warm pillow. but when she squeezed them shut once, then twice, and her boyfriendâs face was still a foot away from herâs, brushing his fingertips up her nose and along her brow, she set aside her exhaustion in exchange for confusion.
now, harry knew better than to wake y/n up. in most circumstances, sheâd tell him off, or gently kick at him to get him to leave her alone. he found it rather endearing, and itâs one of the reasons heâs so protective of her in her sleepâ always holding her close to keep her safe, shielding her eyes from any light intruding on the space she lay, making sure both their phones were set to âdo not disturb.â but he had to make an exception, just this once.Â
âdarling,â she barely registered his whisper, âwake up fâme, please?â
a whine fell from y/nâs lips, her eyes scrunching shut as she turned her body away from him, which harry knew was code for let me sleep, for fuckâs sake! a smile graced his lips at the action, jotting down a mental note to make this up to her later.Â
compensating for the newfound distance between them, harry scooted closer to her. he kneeled on the floor next to the bed, close to the pillows she rested upon. he laid one arm against the mattress, perching his chin on the back of his wrist. using his free hand, he continued to brush his fingertips lightly against his loveâs cheek, her jawâ all along her face, really. god, her loves her face so much. Â
âplease, baby?â
harry had just come back from one of his best performances yetâ the crowdâs energy was unmatched, the chemistry between him and his band members was palpable, and heâd managed to not get hit with any flying objects all night! but what really did it for him was the fan project he was surprised with at the end of the show. thousands of people in the room wore light-up bracelets that shone pink and blue during one of his favorite songs, âlove of my life.â if harryâs heart had been any more full in that moment, it mightâve exploded right there in his chest.Â
he had been on cloud nine for a moment. but soon, realization washed over him in a way that squeezed at his lungs, stealing his breath for a second. the love of his life was somewhere miles away, probably sitting in their hotel room watching a comfort film, oblivious to anything he was feeling on that stage. he just wanted to go home to her and gush about what had happened, and how he wished sheâd been there, and how it made so much sense that it would happen during âlove of my lifeâ because it was the perfect representation of the amount of love he had for his, and how if sheâd have been there, he would have looked directly at her and smiled the whole time.Â
it made him realize how bloody stupid he was.
in retrospect, the conversation heâd needlessly just woken y/n up for could have waited until morning. but then harry wouldnât have been able to sleep if he didnât tell her he was sorry right away.Â
a groan sounded through the room, followed by the ruffling of bedsheets as the girl turned back over to glare annoyedly at harry. he let out a soft laugh at her behavior.Â
ââm sorry, baby. know you jusâ wanna sleep right now, but âs it okay if we talk for a moâ?â
ânow?â y/n asked in a gravelly voice.
ânow, mâ love.â
with a soft sigh, she relented, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes with her knuckles. harry caught the motion, bringing his hands up to pull hers away from her face. he didnât like when y/n did that, as she always managed to do it too roughly. instead, he held her smaller hands in his own, getting up to sit on the edge of the bed, facing her.Â
âwhat is it?â y/n asked through a yawn. harry looked at her for a momentâ really looked at herâ before responding.
âiâm sorry.â
it took her a moment to register his words. âfor waking me up?â
harry laughed that dreamy laugh she loved so much, and it almost made up for the fact that she was up at twelve thirty in the morning. âno, yâlittle minx. not for that. well, yes, for that, but thatâs not what i meant.â
âwhat are you sorry for, then?âÂ
harry looked at her with an expression y/n couldnât place. it look him a few beats to speak. âi⊠iâm sorry i was such a prick before. i love that youâre here, anâ that i get tâsee you when iâm off. know you put aside a lot for this, anâ i ruined it with mâown problems. didnât mean to.â
y/nâs features softened at the boyâs sincerity, and if it werenât for the warmth his hands encapsulating hers provided, sheâd have reached out and held his face, peppering kisses over every dip and curve.Â
âi know you didnâtâŠ. iâm sorry, too.â
âfor what?â
âi shouldâve listened better. you were trying to tell me how you felt and i just disregarded it. that wasnât very nice of me, either.â
the right corner of harryâs lips tugged upwards, morphing his mouth into that little half-grin y/n adored so much. âthink we can get past it, darling?â
the girl scooted forward the tiniest bit, harryâs magnetic pull too hard to resist. though they were the only two in the room, she whispered, âiâll forgive you if you forgive me.â harry liked how she made something so simple sound like a secret deal between them.
harryâs half-smile quickly quirked up, completing itself, and y/n swooned over his dimples and adorable bunny teeth. a short and quiet breath of a laugh fell past his lips, and for a moment, he just looked at her. but his gaze caught a glimpse of uncertainty in her eyes, and his grin faltered a bit.Â
y/n was always good at hiding her true emotions when she wanted to. not when it really mattered, donât get her wrongâ she wasnât one to take anyoneâs shit. but at dinner with her parents or meetings at work, she was able to pretend she wasnât exhausted or annoyed. it never worked with harry, though. he could read and understand her like his own lyrics, and tonight was no exception. he saw through the mask of humor at her uncertainty, and a pang of guilt bloomed in his chest.Â
he let out a sigh as he beckoned her forward by gently tugging her hands, still in his, toward him. âcâmere, baby,â he said softly, pulling his love into his lap. y/n curled into him, knees tucked upward into her chest as his strong arms found purchase around her frame, holding her tenderly but securely. one of harryâs large hands held the back of her head against him, her ear right over his heart, listening to it beat for her.Â
âlove you like crazy. youâve no idea.â he peppered light kisses to the top of her head, so softly she mightâve missed one or two. âthank you for cominâ anâ sâporting me. means the world, honestly.âÂ
âiâm happy to be anywhere with you, har,â she replied in a voice honey-thick with sleep. âeven if itâs just for a few minutes. always so happy to have you.â
harry closed his eyes, laying back into the pillows, bringing y/n down with him so that she was laying overtop his sturdy body, inhaling his every exhale.Â
âyou have me,â he said, though he was almost certain she didnât hear him, likely already pulled into the void of sleep, drawn in by the comfort of harryâs arms, his smell, him.Â
âyouâll always have me.â
taglist (final time using the old one, see new link in bio): @fahsey @caswinchester2000 @lmaotshollandd @jackiehollanderr @nervousdadmode @amii-nyc @skitmix @auggie2000 @voguesir @yourgoldengirls @hunnybunimdun @lolooo22 @atoris-fantasy
#harry styles#harry styles smut#harry styles angst#harry styles fluff#harry styles x reader#harry styles x reader smut#harry styles x reader angst#harry styles x reader fluff#harry styles x you#harry styles x you smut#harry styles x you angst#harry styles x you fluff#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x y/n smut#harry styles x y/n angst#harry styles x y/n fluff#harry styles one shot#harry styles one shot smut#harry styles one shot angst#harry styles one shot fluff#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfiction smut#harry styles fanfiction angst#harry styles fanfiction fluff#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fanfic smut#harry styles fanfic angst#harry styles fanfic fluff#soft!dom harry styles#dom!harry styles x reader
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Gurugirl's Wattpad & Tumblr Fic Recs
Anything you read in these masterlists wonât disappoint but Iâve picked my absolute favorites from each blog and listed below.
NOTE: I did my best to include all my faves here but I've probably forgotten a few. I intend to add to this list (may need to make a part 2 once I hit my mentions and link limits) because I'm always reading new fics so come back often!
Angst recs (all taken from list below but specific to the more angsty ones)
Daddy kink
Enemies to lovers
Summer vibes & party fics
Personal faves from my own writings
Other blogs I love
Tumblr
@1d1195
One Shot: Right Here: one bed, nightmares, enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, childhood "friendship," coworker Harry, grumpy/sunshine (I'll let you guess who's who), etc. etc. etc.
@a-strange-familiar
Series: His Memories (3 parts): you and Harry broke up few months back but still love each other. And after all these months you see him again in a party. All memories you tried to push back in your head came back with a powerful speed.
@adorebeaa
One shot: Undo Me: YN reveals a kink in front of best friend!Harry, who is curiousâŠ
@awideworldoffanfics
Series: Milking the Grip (5 parts): Harry Styles is a single dad who golfs every Tuesday. Y/N is his babysitter who also happens to work at the golf course he goes to. Theyâve never run into each other there. Until they do.
@be-with-me-so-happily
Series: My Way Back Home: YN is left to figure out what to do when the love of her life, Harry, does not remember loving her. (AU)
Series: Don't Worry Darling: Y/N has her first big break as an actress as she lands the leading role in 'Don't Worry Darling'. The only problem is that her co-star is Harry Styles, who she feels has a very big ego. Tensions rise the more they film. All kinds of tension...
One Shot: Friendly Favor: When YN's best friend Harry asks for a favor, she knows it'll be difficult, but she loves him too much to say no. However, it's a dumb plan, and those usually don't end how you think they will.
Series: Laceleaf: Gemma is definitely Cassidy James' favourite Styles family member, considering they are best friends and all. And especially considering that Harry Styles is Gemma's smug and self-centered younger brother. Her life isn't perfect, and neither is she, but she knows for a fact that anything involving Harry gets messy.
@bopbopstyles
Masterlist (anything you pick here will be a pleasure - seriously)
@fkinavocado
Series: Daddy Issues: in which youâve got textbook daddy issues and when your tool of a younger brother brings a sweet doe eyed girlfriend home for Thanksgiving and you end up offering her a ride home, you meet just the man to fix them. (daddy!harry, dilf!harry)
Series: Hard Candy: in which Harry owns a candy store and he just loves giving good girls special treats⊠especially after closing time (candyman!Harry)
One Shots & Blurbs: Long Hair Harry One Shots & Blurbs
@freedomfireflies
Series: Playboy: Welcome to 1965, where the women are loose, and the morals are looser. Here you'll meet Michelle and Harry. You don't need to know too much about them. Just that they're both incredibly bold...and incredibly jealous. The summer of June 1965 was a rather wild one for the Playboy Bunnies but even more wild for our two dear friends. Stick around and I'm sure they'll be happy to tell you all about it. You just have to promise one little thing... Don't tell Hefner.
Series: Teach Me: 5 parts - Harry needs a little practice in the art of Eating Pussy, and who better to ask for help than his best friend?
Series: Mafia!harry: 2 parts so far - more to come - Your mafia boss boyfriend, Harry, has been a little neglectful of his most prized possession. But he's found the perfect way to make it right. Exhibition kink!!
@goldenbuckyyy
Series: Illicit Affairs: A series of events between your affair with Harry. (Cheating together)
@harryistheonlyoneforme
One Shot: Little Freak: pairing: dbf harry x reader (so hot - so many kinks all in one little shot - must read)
@harrywritingsbyme
Sneaking Around (a series of shorts): Best friends dad - FUCKING HOT
@helladirections
Series: Brother's Best Friend: Harry is YNâs brotherâs best friend, and YN isnât a little kid anymore. Ft. dom/sub, rough sex, and soft words.Â
One Shot: Under Summer Skies: Harry and YN are longtime best friends back for another summer as the Dream Team on staff. Featuring getting called out by 12 year olds, two dumb best friends who canât see whatâs right in front of them, and lots of stargazing.
One Shot: Moka Pot: Do you think you can maybe do y/n and Harry having a slow morning routine? Like drinking tea together, doing skin together, basically just doing everything together?Â
@itslottiehere
One Shot: I Don't Want to Hear About Him (angsty): bff!harry writes a song about bff!reader.. and her boyfriend.
@jawllines
Harry is Y/n's Criminology Instructor (2 parts)
Harry is a single dad and y/n is surprisingly good at babysitting (2 parts)
Harry & y/n are witches, they hate eachother, and something's coming (3 parts)
Y/n knows something she shouldn't and Harry does what on Fridays? (4 parts) - Boxer!harry
Harry is a grumpy mechanic and y/n just can't stop talking (4 parts)
@jarofstyles
King of the Jungle (multi part series): Y/Nâs family works for a wildlife preservation society and Harry is king of the jungle or tarzan!harry
Lone Wolf (multi part series): Harry is a grumpy alpha who has given up on finding his mate or werewolf!harry
Beauty & the Beast (multi part series): Harry is a moody, withdrawn but successful creature who needs a companion who can tend to his⊠needs.
@lemoncrushh
Series: The Entertainer: Set in the 70s, Sky Jones meets Harry Styles, an up and coming musician and soon-to-be rockstar. The Entertainer Part II
One Shot: Dressing For Revenge: Still heartbroken from finding your ex cheating on you, you go to a nightclub with your friend Kelsie, where not only do you run into your ex, but also a handsome gentleman whoâs willing to help you get over him. Part II
@lukesaprince
Series: Intruder: You were an outside hire for a promotion Harry wanted, and he despises you for it. The hatred is mutual since Harry is a bit of an asshole, until the day of an important presentation where the tension is finally dealt with - A very steamy enemies to lovers romance (domrry)
Series: The Roommate Series: After Y/Nâs best friend and roommate Alex decides to move out, sheâs desperate for someone to take her place. Alex seems to have found the solution in a British fresh-to-New-York musician who ticks all the boxes. He just happens to be insanely attractive and charismatic⊠what could go wrong? (friends to lovers)
Series: Fratboy!harry You Can Pretend All You Want: You hate fratboys and everything they stand for, so you decide to prove one wrong by sleeping with him⊠safe to say it backfires (fratboy!harry, enemies to lovers).
Series: Rich: Neighbour/Older!Harry. A Summer dogsitting job for Mr. Styles is a dream come true for any broke uni student. He's rich, gorgeous and finally fucks you after your weekly dinner together. A series that follows two neighbours who end up in a sexual relationship.
@moonchildstyles
Series: Aster: Harry is a tattoo artist and y/n just wants to know if he's like this all the time or if he just doesn't like her. tattoo artist!harry / lhh!harry
Series: Citrine: Harry's a witch and it's been along time since since he's been around anyone new, but there's no way he was getting y/n out of his head. witch!harry
Series: Chiaroscuro: y/n needed a job but this place is strange and the owner is even stranger. vampire!harry
Series: Prosecco: Harry is just on the edge of 30 and y/n is someone he's sure he shouldn't get involved with. until she seeks him out anyway, and he realizes no one has ever really shown her how she should be treated. older!harry
@0oolookitsme
One Shot: Dazzled: In which Harry has an uneasy feeling about Y/nâs new mission but the devil ignores his gutsâ screams. But the vampire as well as his fiancĂ©, Y/n, isnât dumb and is quick to listen and take some weight off of his shoulders. They both soon find out, why, he was feeling uneasy.Â
One Shot: Anything For You... And I: SMUTTY!!!! Dwd!Harry x Dwd-Character!Y/n
@0nlythrowharrybeaux
Friends Share (2 parts):Harry & Y/N have been practically perfect roommates for several years but the appearance of a hot new neighbor creates an unexpected shift in their relationship.
Unavailable (2 parts): Y/N has a very specific preference for unavailable/inappropriate people and Harry is her therapist who is supposed to help her work through this.
@pleasingforharry
Moans & Elevator Music (2 parts): Y/N is in a rush for an interview at her new job, but her luck gives out when the elevators shut down due to a sudden power outage. At least she isnât alone.
@purplekiwis
Breaking the Ice (2 parts): Hockey!Harry x Skater!Y/N Itâs no secret that as a figure skater, youâre fed up with the local hockey team being treated like royalty⊠and your exâs status as a player isnât helping much either.
In the Witching Hours (will be 3 parts): Wizard!Harry x Witch!Y/N; Soulmates AU An emergency admission to the hospital gives rise to a series of strange events but luckily, thereâs a cute, shy wizard aroundâŠ
One shot: Tentmate: Friends With Benefits Y/N has always hated camping⊠until her and Harry got stuck together in the same tent. (This one is smutty AF)
@s-brant
Series: The Getaway Car: In a drug deal gone wrong, Y/N, daughter to a famous racecar driver, finds herself behind the wheel of a car with a gun to her head. A masked man named Harry demands she helps him evade the authorities, so she does the only thing she knows how to. She drives.
One Shot: Midas Touch: The night before they leave to spend Christmas with his family, a conversation with their friends makes Harry and Y/N confront the future of their marriage.
@stylesloveclub
Series: Pleasing: In which y/n is a broke waitress, and Harry is a Michelin star chef who thinks sheâs cuter than a puppy.Â
@swiftmendeshoran
Series: Curvy Secret/No More Secrets Daddy: Dad's best friend (dbf!) Harry x plus size reader
@watchmegetobsessed
Series: The Sun Will Rise: Youâre glad to be back at college and away from your family. Everything is back to its normal, but you have a little issue: you told your family youâd bring a date to your sisterâs wedding, but you have no actual partner. An unexpected deal is made with the person you couldnât even consider to be your friend: Harry can take the spare room in your apartment for the semester if heâll be your date for the wedding. But can you actually live together with a guy who obviously dislikes you and you have no idea why? Can you fool your parents into thinking youâre dating Harry? And what will they think about him? Nothing is ever good enough to them, nothing thatâs not as perfect as your sister, Alice.
Series: Wildest Fantasies: Youâve been struggling to finish your assignment for Professor Stylesâ Creative Writing class. Inspiration is seem to be avoiding you, so to relieve some stress, you mess around with your roommates and write a rather dirty fiction of the hot professor everyone is into on campus. Due to a fatal mistake however, you end up uploading the wrong file as your attachment to your assignment and your wildest fantasies end up in the hands of the person they are about.
Good Girl (Part 2): sugardaddy!Harry / CEO!Harry x Reader
@writerpetals (writes optional male lead smut but you can easily imagine any male *coughharrycough* as the males are described as tall, well-built, with a nice head of hair - read anything this author writes - it's good, you will find almost any trope - ENJOY)
One Shot: Lakeside: werewolf!au, werewolf x reader
@zayndrivesmeinvain
Series (wip): The One That Got Away: In which Harry and Alena were college sweethearts, however, all of that has changed and the only thing keeping in contact is the fact that they have a child together. Is it possible for them to even get to a normal standing friendship or is that long gone? dadrry x oc | single dad!harry
i hit my link limits so was unable to insert link to part one of their series. check out their masterlist and you'll find it!
Wattpad
_miiki
Series: Artwork & Aquarelle: "Sierra, you go with Harry Styles." I raised up my head at the words, giving my teacher an incredulous glance. "Do I really have to?" Was the only thing I managed to say. The teacher gave me an annoyed look. "Did you not understand? You go with Harry Styles." I turned my head to look at him. At the mention of his name he glanced up, and if his green eyes hadn't frozen me in place already, the unimpressed look he gave me would've done it right away.
Aggressivelyfriendly = @aggresivelyfriendly
Series: Who Names the Colors: In the last year, Joanne Smith Giles, has once again become Jo Smith. In another heartbreaking turn of events, she's also the single mother of an infant, again. She knows she can do this on her own, and better at 40 than 19, but it seems weird to be launching a son into manhood, a new career as an art professor, and changing nappies all in one day. She is so thankful when Ethan, her boy, comes home from Uni. Jo could use the help. His best friend, Harry, comes round too. And his launch into manhood may be another heartbreaking turn, for all of them
ErinAlterEgo = @yourwattpadmom
Series: Late night Talking: Alex is craving something at night, and it's not ice cream. Encouraged by her husband to explore a polyamory relationship to meet some of her more....eclectic tastes, she finds herself on a dating app for the first time in her life. She expected maybe some interesting experiences, possibly her first one-night stand ever. She didn't expect to meet a man who made her question everything about herself. Harry is on a new path in his life that is exciting and different than he ever could have imagined. He's looking for excitement, experiences, but definitely not love and attachment. When he meets Alex, he sees a whole new path that he's unsure he wants to go down, but finds it hard to resist.
Hitterj (love all of her stuff!)
Series: All This Time: The coming-of-age story of Harry and Riley who have known each other for years, but never actually knew each other. They've spent countless nights at the same parties, shared a few drinks and glances, they're even on track to graduate top of their class. What happens when out of nowhere they start to connect? Like an invisible string pulls them together, so they can experience life and love and heartbreak. Riley and Harry learn a lot about themselves, and ultimately have to choose what's best for their future no matter how difficult that can be. But does love find a way? After all this time?
Series: Kiwi: If you don't know about this one by now... go read it - super duper smutty and sweet and angsty
Series: Sweet Little Lies: All her life, Ivy Malone has known what her family was. She grew up in the deep, unforgiving world of the mob. Ivy hates her position in life, knowing that her life was never fully hers. Harry Styles was cold. He trusted almost no one, especially his family. He had learned quickly that everyone was waiting for him to fail... to fall. An empire built by his father from the blood and bones of those who stepped in his way was all he had, no matter how much he hated it. He had no choice but to carry on the legacy. And marrying Malone's daughter was the next step in fortifying their defense. With new rivals making a move for power and a mysterious figure haunting the crime families of Queenstown, Ivy and Harry have to learn to live together. A bad start leads them down a tumultuous, passionate, and downright dangerous path, but maybe they were exactly what the other needed to live the life they always craved.
MysteryMixtapes (Just go read all their stuff)
Series: Stall & Stall 2: Violence/gangs/dark
Series: Perspective: Have you ever met someone that made falling feel like flying?
Series: Unforgettable: "If it feels so right, how can it be wrong?"
Peanutboyfriend (read all of Birdie's stuff - you won't regret it)
Series: Aerial: In Malibu, California in 1965, a surfer and world-famous aerialist undergoes a chain of comedic and not-so-comedic mishaps that force him to re-evaluate who he is.
Petit_cerise
Series: Devil's Due & Devil's Desire: Harry Styles, the brooding and intolerable tattoo parlour owner, meets River, a stubborn and somewhat oblivious girl, who just doesn't understand the reasoning behind his nefarious ways but is determined to find out. River comes to realize that Harry's hiding something much deeper than expected... only once those secrets come to the surface, it's too late to turn back.
Sunflowersnstuff
Series: One Word & Wonderland: We're all mad here, it's Wonderland.
ThousandYearsOfHope
Series: Lonely Nights: Willow Mackey is a quiet girl, but she is fiercely loyal and will never lie to you. Harry Styles is her brother's best friend, and someone she'll always have a soft spot for. Grown up and no longer shielded by their ages, lines start to blur, and mistakes keep being made. For the first time in her life, Willow realises that sometimes, the truth is too painful to hear. But how could she ever say no to the one person that's always understood her better than she understands herself?
Series: Pretty Boy: One night of impulse shouldn't lead to much for Joni Lewis, but when she meets the alluring Harry Styles, an opportunity arises that she can't ignore. A Harry Styles short story inspired by Pretty Woman.
Writhali (I really like everything I've read by Thali)
Series: Ambit: Gangs/violence/action/SMUT - "Hell's boring, Birdie." He claims, that cold, dead stare back to his eyes. "And this, this is what I call a Monday night."
3K notes
·
View notes
Note
saw your requests are open so iâd like to request something! something angsty because this came to me after listening to âcherryâ by harry styles :p reader is dannyâs ex but they broke up, few months later heâs dating someone else and reader is now in a (new/fresh) relationship with another driver, max/charles i couldnât decide so iâll let you do that! ⥠just something angsty like him realizing how much he misses her but sheâs moved on and happy đ«¶đŒ hope this makes sense? ah, love your stuff btw!!!
thank u anon you're so sweet! and ughhhh this request was IMMACULATE cherry is one of my favourite harry styles songs. wasn't sure if you wanted a socmed fic, if u did lmk and i'd be happy to adapt it into one! but i hope you enjoy nevertheless :)
I, I just miss I just miss your accent and your friends
Daniel stares down at his phone.
What a cruel twist of fate it is that the moment he opened his Instagram, he sees you.
Youâre laughing in the picture, your hand looped around none other than Maxâs neck. Youâre sprawled on the Red Bull driverâs lap, and thereâs a giddy grin on both of your faces, Maxâs arm wrapped protectively around your waist. It feels bittersweet, seeing that familiar sweet smile of yours, only now itâs pointed at another man.
Itâs only one photo in a carousel of others posted by your best friend. Why Daniel still follows her, he has no idea. But he stares at the photograph of you for longer than heâd like to admit.
Thereâs a shuffling noise from the kitchen, and Danielâs new girlfriend pokes her head into the room. âDanny, we still going out for dinner?â
Daniel can only stare at her for a moment, too caught up in the memories of you and him to reply.
He knows what heâs doing is wrong. He knows he shouldnât be leading this poor girl along. He knows that all this relationship is to him is a way to distract himself from whatâs really eating at him. He knows that sheâs just a replacement for you.
But the quizzical smile his girlfriend sends has his heart aching in guilt, so he manages a feeble nod in response, quickly shutting his phone off and throwing it onto the bed, before making his way to her smiling face.
The guilt eats him alive as he makes small talk with her over dinner. He would never admit it, but sometimes he canât stand to look at her; to roll over in bed and see someone other than you laying beside him.
Did you know I still talk to them?
Everything changed after Zandvoort.
Daniel was partially to blame, he knew that. The crash in free practice had taken a toll on him, not just physically but mentally. The season in AlphaTauri was his one shot at proving that he still had it in him to be a class Formula 1 driver - to the world, to Red Bull, and to himself.
You were supportive of him all the way. From the moment he entered talks with Red Bull and AlphaTauri to get back into F1, to when he first got in that white and blue car at Hungary, you were always there, by his side.
But Zandvoort changed things. Zandvoort changed him.
He started to push you away. The comments from the media, from fans, from people everywhere, all around him, were starting to get to him. Did nobody believe in him anymore? Was he really not cut out for Formula 1?
Was his time really up?
The weeks of recovery were dark for the both of you. For him, most of it was spent in bed, his mind fuzzy from the painkillers and medicine, too tired and too beaten to do anything. For you, it was utter torture. To see the man you loved, the man whose laughter and mere presence brought so many smiles to those in the paddock, the man who never knew when to give up, look so futile and disappointed? It hurt.
But he hurt you more.
Does he take you walking round his parents' gallery?
Itâs funny. Fate, he means. How it has a way of testing him, how it has a way of bringing his mind and him back to you. Always you.
âHas anyone seen Max and Y/N? They were supposed to arrive a while ago, are they late? â Â
Instinctively, Daniel turns. Itâs almost pathetic really. How just the sound of your name catches his attention and has him whipping around, his eyes searching for you. How you unwittingly made him into your own lapdog.
You arenât there, though, so he keeps his head down and ignores the questioning look his girlfriend sends him.
In the final few weeks, and perhaps even months, of your relationship, Daniel hadnât been kind on you. He became bitter, spiteful, even jealous. To him, you just didnât understand the weight on his shoulder, the pressures he had to face. But how could you? Despite all your protests and pleading, he was shutting you out of his life, bit by bit.
Every time you came over, it ended with screaming matches and you leaving with tears in your eyes. Daily visits from you turned into weekly check-ins. He started to turn his head away from you when you tried to kiss his cheek. Those turned into brusque hand squeezes. His texts, too, became sparse and dry. He recoiled from you when you were around.
He could still remember the heartbreak on your face when he told you he wanted to break up. "It's for both of our own good," he mumbled. "I need to focus on racing. You should have a life outside of me."
It was a bitter end, and to this day, Daniel still regrets not putting up enough of a fight. How stupid he had been, to think that without you, he could give his 100% to racing. How stupid he had been, to think of you as a distraction.
He canât imagine how stupid he must appear to you now, showing up on Sunday with a new girlfriend on his arm.
Don't you call him baby
âYou sure youâre okay?â
You smooth down your dress for the umpteenth time, breathing out a nervous sigh as you smile back at Max, who glances at you in slight concern. His press officer is fussing over the both of you, the paddock entrance looming both terrifyingly and excitingly ahead.
Itâs about to be your first public appearance with Max, and your first public appearance at a Formula 1 grand prix since⊠Well, since your relationship with Daniel ended.
Itâs been a rough few months. It took time, getting used to Danielâs absence. You hadnât realised just how much of your life had revolved around his being; it became painful to even step foot in the paddock, to even switch on the television to catch up on the latest grand prix.
Even worse was the public scrutiny. You and Daniel had always been open about your relationship, frequently sharing bits and pieces of your life together on each of your social medias. So it was no wonder than when you both stopped posting each other, and when you took down all your posts with him, that fans knew something was up.
Things hadnât been easy. But Max had made it better. What started as a friendly reaching out turned into a heartachingly romantic and sweet courting, and now, he was your boyfriend.
You smile at Max, reaching up to press a gentle kiss on his cheek. You can hear a flurry of cameras snapping away, and you resist glancing at them, choosing instead to focus on your boyfriend. At your peck, Max ducks his head, as if suddenly shy despite the two of you having dated for going on 3 months now. Still, the small grin on his face tells you all you need to know.
âIâll be fine,â you say as you slip your hand into his, and give a nod to his press officer. Maxâs thumb smooths over your knuckles, and you finally feel yourself relax. You look into his eyes, and in this moment, you know: Youâre happy.
âDonât worry âbout me, baby.â
We're not talking lately
Everyone notices when you enter the paddock.
Not only because itâs the first time in months that youâve appeared at a Grand Prix, but because you have Max Verstappen beside you. With his arm around your waist.
âWhatâs happening?â his girlfriend asks, craning her neck to peer at the paddock entrance. âDid someone just arrive?â
âItâs Max,â a passing journalist calls, as he hastens towards the paddock entrance himself. âWith Y/N!â
Daniel canât help himself. Really, he canât.
It happens before he can stop himself. Heâs getting up and pulling his hand from his girlfriend and his feet are taking himself over to you as if they have a mind of their own. As if they still remember that it's where heâs meant to be. By your side.
The crowd doesnât part for him. Not anymore. He finds himself standing on the outskirts of the gathering group, watching from afar as you bashfully smile for the many snapping cameras, and cling onto Max a little tighter, as the Red Bull driver nods politely at the journalists swarming you.
âAlright, alright, let us through, please,â he hears Max say, âLet my girl have some space, yeah?â
Something akin to jealousy rears its ugly head.
Then the horde of people are moving, and some are finally beginning to notice Daniel.
âDanny!â âDaniel, over here, please!â âHowâre you feeling today, Daniel?â âDaniel, how does it feel that Max is dating your ex-girlfriend?â
The question has him reeling, and he can only stare at the waiting journalist incredulously. What a ridiculous fucking question. He has half a mind to charge at the dickhead and throw a punch that will send the cunt into a coma for weeks-
âLook, mate, leave us alone, yeah? Daniel, howâre you doinâ?â
Max claps a good-natured hand on Danielâs back, steering him away from the throng of journalists and photographers, who groan before turning their attention to Fernando, whoâs just gotten out of his car.
Maxâs friendliness momentarily stuns him, and all he can manage out is a half-convincing âGood, goodâ in return. This seems to satisfy Max enough, though, because then heâs smiling and nodding and rubbing Danielâs shoulders.
Itâs at this moment Daniel realises youâre still here.
He glances back at you, trailing behind him and Max.
Youâre just as pretty as ever, he thinks to himself. Itâs almost as if nothing had changed. Like youâre still the one he walked into the paddock with, like youâre waiting for him to finish a conversation with Max, not the other way around.
You donât even look his way.
ââŠso then I told Charles, âNo way, thereâs no way youâre convincing Carlos that!â, and then, you know what he said? Really, itâs hilarious, he-â
Max stops his rambling midway, leaning down to listen to something you whisper in his ear.
âIâm gonna head to the garage first, okay?â Daniel hears you mumble, âIâll see you later, baby.â
Then Max tilts your head up and presses a kiss on your mouth.
Itâs at this moment that Daniel canât help but feel a little foolish. Actually, more than a little. He feels stupid, downright idiotic standing here with his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend. Trying to pretend like everything was alright.
The worst part of it all, is that you donât seem fazed at all. To you, itâs like heâs just another driver you bump into ever-so-often. You donât seem to care about him. Itâs like he and the weight of your shared history donât even exist. Like it never did.
The sight of you walking away from him â again â pains him more than he thought it would. He canât bear to lose you again, not when heâs still so fucking in love with you.
Soo he darts his hand out and grabs your wrist, and you whip around, eyes wide and stunned, and Daniel feels Max halt beside him, watching him intently.
And youâre looking at him now. Finally, youâre looking at him.
His eyes roam yours, trying to find a hint of familiarity, hoping desperately that heâll find the same yearning and aching he feels for you reflected in your eyes.
âDon't you call him what you used to call me,â he whispers. Pleading with you.
Something in you seems to soften, and thereâs a flash of pain in your eyes, but it's one that is quickly replaced with anger.
You wrench your hand from his grip and shove him away, storming off as Max follows you, casting an indecipherable look at Daniel in the process. Daniel watches as Max catches up to you, and he watches as you let him cradle you in his arms.
But itâs not your anger that hurts the most.
Itâs the fact that you never once looked back at him.
#daniel ricciardo x reader#max verstappen x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#formula 1#f1 imagine#max verstappen#daniel ricciardo#daniel riccardo imagine#f1#red bull racing#max verstappen fanfic#Ëâșâ§âË đ ââ my writing#ê° âșâ§âË [đ] formula 1
369 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Stunt ^**
This one is based off of the following request where Harry and Y/N are in a PR relationship and he realizes he likes her until it's all over.
A shout out to whoever created that AI pic, it was a repost from TikTok so I'm not sure who actually made it!
Warnings: PR relationship, mentions of PR drama from the past/present, heartbreak & failed relationships, verbal arguments, jealousy, a quick non-consensual kiss, alcohol consumption, fingering, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex
WC: 19.6K
It seemed really stupid to you, a PR relationship with your co-star for a film? Sure, this was your debut into acting, but you had confidence in your ability to perform well and were certain that the film would do great, it was a lovely story! You didnât need additional PR help to make the film successful. You loved the script, it was a nice, yet realistic friends-to-lovers story. It had range, happiness, sadness, comedy, intimacyâŠyou wouldnât have chosen a stupid script for your first attempt at the silver screen! So the fact that your agent had written this into the contract with whoever your co-star was going to be, it felt a little insulting to you.Â
âItâs offensive! I donât want to fake date anyone, Fred!â You whined into the phone, âEveryoneâs going to see it coming from a mile offâŠwhat if they cast someone I hate? Whatâs gonna happen then?â You asked and he spoke calmly, trying to appease you.
âThink of it as more acting practice! You have to act like youâre into the person when in public.â
âNo one is going to agree to that.â
âSweetheart, everyone will agree to it. Itâs a classic PR move! Theyâre just gonna be kicking themselves for not thinking of it first! It basically guarantees film success for these rom-com type of things.â He said and you sighed and nearly hung up out of frustration. You wished that he had at least asked your permission before including this in the contract.
A few weeks later you were called in by the production and directing team for a few chemistry tests with the two actors that they were split between. They didnât want to tell you who they were looking at for casting as to prevent any bias on your part during the chemistry read. They wanted to see it for themselves who you vibed with the most. Fred had told you to stop trying to figure it out because both picks were fairly new to the acting world. And when the day came, you were sick to your stomach. You hardly ate anything since the night before because of it.Â
When you were introduced to the first guy you did recognize him a bit but you couldnât really place him. He shared that he had done a lot of supporting work and this would be his first time in a lead role if he got it. He was trying so hard though, trying to make it look like you guys were vibing well. Your interactions felt really inauthentic. The way he would knock his head back and laugh in an exaggerated manner whenever you said something slightly humorous, the way he would lean in closer to speak to you, and touch your arm or shoulder even when you crossed them over your body to indicate that you were uncomfortable. Then when you guys did a couple of test scenes, one of them being the lead up to one of the more intense dialogues between the characters, he came on really strong and theatrically and it was cringey; even you knew that he wasnât it as they thanked him for his time and off he went.
âWeâre gonna break for a few minutes. Meet back in here in 10!â Someone announced and you took full advantage to go make yourself a tea while they reset the makeshift âsetâ. Fred knew better than to talk to you right now, you were still quite annoyed at him for putting you in the PR dating situation. So when you felt someone come up beside you, you didnât say anything, heâd get the hint.
âUmmm, pardon?â You heard an unfamiliar voice and you did a double take over your shoulder when you realized that the person who was looming behind you patiently was Harry Styles, the glasses he had on threw you off a bit.
âOh god, sorry! Iâm taking up the whole counter arenât I?â You apologized as you grabbed your phone and dropped it in your purse and grabbed that from the top of the counter to make space for him and he smiled at you.
âThatâs alright.â He assured you, âI just wanted to introduce myself before we all have to head back in.â He explained and you nodded. You quickly set down your tea packet and extended your hand to his and you shook it firmly and briefly. âIâm Harry.â He introduced himself.
âY/N.â You smiled warmly.
âI know. Umm, I really liked your EP.â He said to you and your eyes widened in surprise.
âOh wow, thank you so much! I like your glasses.â You said stupidly and he laughed as he glanced down at the ground between you and you mentally scolded yourself, â Y-your albums too!â You added in, âI genuinely love all of your albums.â You giggled, trying to mask the star stuck feeling and embarrassment from your little blunder. âThe last one, it was phenomenal! I put so many friends onto it.â You shared and he smiled timidly as he glanced away for a moment again before looking back at you.
âThank you, thatâs very generous of you.â He thanked you modestly, as if he hadnât won an album of the year Grammy for it.
âIt really was the least I could do. Great work.â You assured and he chuckled. You knew that one of his best friends was producing this film and youâd heard rumors that he might be writing on the soundtrack, so while you were shocked that he was here for this chemistry/screen test you didnât think it too odd. Maybe it was going to help him get the vibes between you and whoever else they cast opposite you so that he could start working on the music. âSo are you going to be writing some pieces for the soundtrack?â You asked and he nodded.
âYeah, I thought the script was so genuine and I donât know, Iâm quite partial to hyperrealistic stories like this. The ones that show the challenges as well as the good things.â He said and you nodded.
âOh my god, same. I know that films should sometimes be an escape, a reprieve if you will, from reality and just be optimistic and romanticize the good but I really love it when it feels like Iâm looking in the mirror, you know? Or when it helps me relate to others more. I just love the humanity so much.â You explained and he nodded along.Â
âYeah, definitely.â He agreed. âWhat do you love most about this story?â
âJust the hope of it allâŠâ you sighed happily, âI mean, who isnât a sucker for a good friends-to-lovers trope? That whole âitâs been you all alongâ moment has happened to so many of us, I think. Like itâs the ideal scenario for falling in love, no? When you discover that your love for someone is so much bigger than you thought it was. But what I loved most is the way Cara learns to love herself and knows when to choose herself. Itâs shows so much strength and integrity to herself. But yeah, I mean the love story between the two characters is also really great, soâŠnormal.â You hummed.Â
âYeah, itâs so pure, isnât it? I love how it builds so realistically, like you know all the good bits but also all the bad bits of a person and still love them and they you just as you are.â
âExactly.â You hummed and he smiled.
âAnd howâd the last guy do with that?â He asked you, âYou can be honest, I wonât tell.â He assured you with a little grin.
âHonestly, a little too forced for my liking. Like fake laughing and inside jokes kind of thing, it was a bit cringey. And well, the acting was far too theatrical for film in my opinion. He very clearly comes from a theater background, it was like really over the top.â You explained to him and he hummed.
âHmmmâŠWell, I hope I do better than that.â He said and you froze.
âWait. Youâre the other choice?â You asked him and he nodded, âOhâŠâ
âI didnât come and say hi just for fun. It was strictly business.â He joked with a playful grin and you shook your head in disbelief.
âAnd here I thought you were just here out of the kindness of your heart. To like pick up on the vibes for inspiration for the music.â You chuckled, feeling even more nervous now. âI was basically told that this was amateur hour by my agent.â
âWell, between the two of us, Iâm quite the amateur when it comes to acting.â He said and you laughed a little in disbelief.
âAre you fucking kidding me? This is my first acting gig sinceâŠmy high school play where I was dragged into playing Rizzo because the original cast member dropped out the week before because she hated how she looked in the wig!â You exclaimed, âPlease forget the modesty. Youâve been in a Nolan film!â You said to him and he furrowed his eyebrows.
âYeah, and all I did was swim around in the freezing cold ocean trying not to drown in that heavy ass uniform. The panic I portrayed was very real! There was no acting talent required. I was genuinely fighting for my life on that set.â He joked and you laughed and shook your head.Â
âWell, I think youâll get the part. Weâre genuinely laughing, right? Or are you acting so well that I canât tell whether itâs genuine or not?â You asked and he raised his eyebrows smugly.
âDefinitely acting, even wore my glasses since the character does int eh script.â He said jokingly and you giggled.
âWell, they suit you.â You complimented and he smiled bashfully.
âThanks.â He responded, âBut ummm, we are genuinely laughingâŠI think weâll do good in there.â He said with a little more confidence.
âI think so too.â You hummed.
âHereâs to hoping. Well, Iâm gonna head back in now, but Iâll see you in there, okay? Wish me luck!â He smiled warmly and you smiled and nodded as you watched him head back into the reading room.
************
It almost goes without saying that Harry was cast as the other lead opposite you. You guys did get along well and you also read well together, the screen test was great too. It was evident how personal these roles felt to each of you. So after a few days you were sitting before each other with your teams present to work out the terms of this PR relationship youâd have. It was all pretty basic; some of the parameters set were that this was business so no canoodling outside of the contractually obligated appearances, there were an agreed upon number of appearances youâd have to do during and post production. There were strict boundaries on what PDA was okay and what wasnât, it was all very straight forward. So with both parties having most of their conditions met, you guys signed the contract.
âŠ. ONE MONTH LATER âŠ.
Now, you guys were a quarter of the way through filming and being the delusional hopeless romantic you were, youâd started developing real feelings for Harry. He was just so sweet and fun and thoughtful. For example, your birthday had fallen during production and he bought you flowers and a cake and had everyone sing âHappy Birthdayâ to you. Or when you had a scheduled appearance but were feeling ill from your period cramps, instead of making you sit through dinner at a restaurant, he drove you to the nearest pharmacy and walked around with you to buy you tampons and snacks. You loved it and everyone else did too. Or just little thoughtful things heâd do for the staff after a long day, he was just a complete sweetheart and it was getting harder and harder for you to just ignore it and not take his kindness all that personally.
Harry wasnât really one to talk your ear off, he loved conversation, but mostly the listening bit. He liked to learn and hear other peopleâs thoughts and opinions. Like a sponge, he absorbed all the information and stowed it away for a later time. You could tell by the way he looked at you that he was listening. Like nowâŠ
â-it was just really stupid.â You sighed in slight irritation, âLike you just donât follow someone to their car in a parking garage at night to ask for their picture!â You ranted and he nodded.
âYouâre absolutely right. Thatâs scary, when someone follows you all the way to your carâŠâ
âIt was! And it was one of those things where like, if I started to run I knew they would start running after me so I tried to stay calm but in the end I just freaked out a little bit.â You explained, âFuck, now theyâre going to write shit about me being rude online.â You sighed as you guys drove out to the wine bar you were going to be spending some time at this evening.
âLook, you know you did nothing wrong and youâve never lost it on someone before. If they do post that video and see an empty car park no one is going to think you were being rude. You canât chase down a woman at night in a parking structure.â He said and you sighed.
âYouâre rightâŠâ you agreed after you calmed down a bit. âH-how do you do it?â
âChase women down?â He asked with a playful smile and you rolled your eyes and giggled at his little joke.
âSeriously though. Like deal with the obsessed people and the stalkers that just follow you around from a distance.â
âIt is scary for me too. I mean, it sucks to say you get used to it, but you will.â He said and you nodded, âLike I donât really go out alone in the evenings any more, try to do everything in the day time, with friends if possible. And like at night Iâll drive if I really need to go out, but like Iâve caught people trying to sneak in behind my car at the gate at my home in London. Or just like wait out there for me to come and go. I hate having security there all the time, but for a time I did have someone around patrolling a bit, it did help. Gave me some peace of mind, you know?â
âYeahâŠwell sorry if IâŠdampened the mood, Iâm just still a little shaken up.â You explained.
âNo, I get it.â He assured you with a smile, âWell the wine bar weâre going to is very low-key, so I donât think anyone will bug us until we walk out to leave. Unless youâre in the mood for something else?â He asked you and you shook your head.
âThe wine bar sounds really good right now.â You said to him and he smiled.
Your evening with Harry had been really fun. Not that you guys never had fun, but he was being extra sweet and attentive considering what had happened to you the night before. There were an assortment of board games available to play or you could choose to color and talk, but seeing as you werenât too keen on any of the games you pulled out your trusty deck of cards from the depths of your purse. He found it extremely amusing that you just had that in your purse but went easy on the teasing.Â
You rotated playing a few games, you taught him how to play 21 and Speed and it was getting so competitive. Obviously, you were at an advantage considering you knew how to play the games already. He did alright at 21, but when you started to play speed your expertise shone. You were kicking his ass and eventually beat him enough times (four times) that he decided it was time to change games. He kicked your ass at Scrabble and Connect 4 for retribution, but by that point youâd had at least four glasses of wine and were pretty tipsy. He was too, he was all giggly and pink in the cheeks and the tip of his nose, almost as if he were freezing cold and not teeming with warmth. His voice had dropped a bit deeper and his eyes had a slight glassy sheen over them and they were a bit lidded. You were both far more touchy now, it started rather innocently though.
âYouâre cheating.â You said to him as he laughed.
âHow can you cheat at Scrabble!?â He asked through his laugh.
âYouâre picking your tiles.â
âI am not!â He scoffed through a laugh.
âLet me pick one for you then.â
âHell no.â
âIâm only getting consonants! I need to prove that something is up.â
âHow is that possible?â
âIt just is!â You said and he laughed.
âOnly if I can pick your letter.â
âOkay, deal.â You agreed and you drew his next five tiles after heâd put down âreflexâ joint to your previous word, âcarâ.Â
âI got one consonant, a good one too.â He said as he arranged them on his rack.
âOf course you didâŠâ you murmured as you looked over your options. You really only had consonants. âOkayâŠâ you said as you grabbed the only three tiles that would work with what was on the board, âEggs.â You said with a small smile as you tagged on the g-g-s to one of the eâs in âreflexâ and he burst into laughter.
âThatâs all you have?! I donât believe this.â He said.
âIt is!â You laughed through your insistence.
âLet me see.â He said reaching for your rack of letters and you batted his hand away.
âStop cheating!â
âIâm not! Iâm trying to help you.â He chuckled as he grabbed your wrists in one hand to grab the rack and turn it towards him. When he saw your letters his smile dropped, âMmmm, I see your predicament. And here I thought you just couldnât spellâŠâ He teased with a smirk and you arched your eyebrows up at his little joke.
âHa-ha.â You mocked and he chuckled.
âCome here.â He said patting the spot beside him on the tabletop and you were tipsy enough that you didnât question it. You dragged your stool over beside his and he sighed that you were too far and you squealed in surprise when he grabbed the edge and tugged you even closer to him as easily as if he had slid your empty glasses of wine out of the way. You knew he was strong, youâd seen it with your own eyes over the course of your professional relationship together. But with your growing feelings and the wine fogging up your brain you melted inside at this simple display of strength.
âGeez!â You gasped and he chuckled.
âSorry.â He hummed with a smile before patting at your hip and looking back at the rack of letters he took from you. âOkay, soâŠyouâre a bit fucked.â He said after scanning the rack some more.
âWell, you didnât need to drag me over here to tell me that.â You giggled and he turned to you.
âWell, youâre here now, so win-win Iâd say.â He flirted and you felt the blood rushing up to your face and making your cheeks and ears go hot.
You didnât move from his side the rest of the time you were there. All games were forgotten, you were just fiddling with each otherâs fingers under the table, your hand resting over his thigh, talking nonsense, and giggling as the alcohol got to the both of you. The way he was looking at you was making you feel like the only other person on the planet. You typically shied away from intense, undivided attention but he wasnât ostentatious in the way he gave it. It was subtle and personal, it made you feel seen. After ordering one more glass you decided it was time to go, so Harry called your driver. You were getting hungry for some real food as youâd only been munching on the complementary bread theyâd been bringing you guys.
âBillâs here.â He informed you and you reached for your bag while Harry came around and helped you off of the high stool. You were wearing some heels because he was just so tall, but of course, your landing was a bit shaky and you both laughed as he grabbed around your waist. âYou good?â He asked with a grin and you nodded up at him, âSure?â
âMâsure. Just got a little wobbly there.â You giggled as you glanced up at him.
âHere.â He said extending his hand.
âItâs alright. Iâm good.â You assured him.
âIâm sure you are, but weâre supposed to do the pictures for the paps, remember?â He said more quietly.
âOh right, rightâŠâ you mumbled and it made you a bit sad as you handed your hand over. He took it and started guiding you though the bar to get out.
You could see people in the bar also taking videos of you guys walking out, calling all this attention to yourself like you were supposed to. But hey, at least you were holding his hand. When you guys got outside the flashes started going off and the paps were calling out to you both but you kept your eyes down at Harryâs shoes, you were a little too tipsy for this. Harryâs grip on you tightened as he pulled you to the car waiting right along the curb and then opened the door to help you in before sliding in behind you.
âGod, didnât think thereâd be so many.â He said and you nodded as you buckled up.
âHeading home?â Bill asked.
âYeah, please. And can you make a little detour on the way so we could get some food?â
âCertainly.â
âOkay, weâre still choosing weâll pick something on route to her place.â
âSounds good, just let me know.â He smiled and Harry thanked him before asking you again what you wanted.Â
You eventually settled on some dumpling place on the way and placed your order online so that it would be ready to pick up when you arrived. Thankfully, that all went to plan and soon you were being dropped off at your house. The lack of stimulation really perpetuated the tipsiness you were both feeling. You were laughing as you navigated your way to your kitchen in mostly the dark, guiding Harry through so that he wouldnât get hurt.
âHere we are. Canât wait to eat.â You said and he nodded in agreement. You guys split the food and then curled up on your couch to watch something on the TV while you ate and chatted. Harry started to sober up a lot faster than you which was great as he had to go home after this. You were trying to get on his level so you chugged your big glass of water and then dropped back onto the couch.
âYou feeling alright?â
âYeah, a bit better.â You said and he smiled.
âGood. Did you have fun?â He asked and you nodded.
âA lot of fun actually. Though to be fair, I think you pick fun things to do.â You said and he smiled.
âOh good! I mean I think Iâm quite boring.â He confessed.
âNoâŠI donât think youâre boring at all. Iâm definitely more of a homebody so getting to do all these different things has actually been really great.â You assured him.
âFunny, I pegged you as more of an extrovert than me.â He said and you shook your head.
âOh no, Iâm definitely more introverted than anything.â You chuckled.
âYou know, I have a lot of fun with you too. Iâm glad itâs you I get to do this with.â He said as he glanced towards you and you smiled down at your lap.
âYeah, me too.â You responded weakly, but he didnât catch it, thankfully.Â
Truth be told, you were still tipsy and were having a hard time getting down to his level of sobriety. And with that came this avalanche of sincerity that could not be avoided or misdirected. In fact, the longer he stayed with you the more you felt the thread of your composure starting to fray. You were fighting against yourself and your need to get closer to him, you wanted to feel his warmth radiating onto you, you wanted the scent of his cologne to waft over you as you buried yourself into his side. You wanted to feel the rumble of his chest when he spoke lowly to you.
âHey, are you alright?â
âYeah, yeah. JustâŠthinking.â You said through a tight lipped smile.
âAbout?â
âJust the film and how much fun Iâm having. Sâgonna be sad when itâs over.â
âYeah, it will be. But you donât have to think about it being over just yet.â He reminded. âWeâve still got a couple more months of filming and thingsâŠand this.â He said and you nodded.
âYeah, youâre right.â You decided and suddenly stood up. âI need to go to the bathroom. Ummm, let me take all of thisâŠâ you said of your food containers.
âItâs alright, Iâve got this, you go on.â He assured you and with one more confirmation via a firm nod you headed off to the bathroom.
You just needed to splash some cold water on your face or something. Do anything to freshen up a little and get out of your head. So you did just that as soon as youâd relieved yourself. You grabbed one of the hand towels and soaked it with cold water and dabbed it all over your face. After a few moments you were heading back out and to the kitchen where Harry was just filling up the bag the dumplings had come in with you trash.
âDo you want the vinegar and and chili oil?â He asked, hearing your steps behind him.
âUmmm, just the chili oil. I repurpose it.â You said and he smiled and dropped in the two little sauce cups of black vinegar before tying it up. âYou can just leave it, I have to take it out back.âÂ
âSure?â
âYeah, Iâm sure.â
âAlright. Well, itâs nearing 1am, I should get going.â He said as he turned around and you nodded.
âYeah. Ummm, are you good t-to drive?â You asked and he nodded.
âYeah, the food really sealed the deal.â He chuckled and you smiled.
âPositive? You can stand on one leg?â You asked jokingly and he did so. âCount down from 100 in intervals of 7?â You asked with a raised eyebrow and he scrunched his face down pensively.
âI can tryâŠI didnât finish high school so it might be a bit harder for me thank most.â He said with a small grin.
âMmmâŠdonât think thatâll hold up in court.â You joked and he laughed and shook his head.
âYouâre quite funny, you know?â He said and you smiled and shrugged.
âTriple threat.â
âI think that third is supposed to be the dancing bit actually.â
âWho cares about dancing? Would you rather a partner who can dance or who makes you laugh?â
âMmmâŠFacts.â He smiled and you shrugged.
âNo brainer.â You said and he nodded, âOkay, Iâll uh, Iâll walk you out.â You said and you guys made your way to your door.
âGenuinely, Iâve had an especially fun time with you tonight.â Harry said as you got into the foyer.
âMe too. Iâve never done something like that before.â
âWell, we could always do it again, maybe youâll have better luck with Scrabble.â He smiled and you chuckled.
âYeah, maybe.â You said, âHey so ummm, in a few months the LA Opera is opening up Turandot.â You said and he looked at you quizzically, âIâm sure you know the most famous song, or at least heard it?â
âHow does it go?â
âItâs theâŠNessun dorma, nessun dorma. Tu pure o principessa, nella tua fredda stanza⊠youâve heard it.â You said and he nodded.
âYeah, I think I have.â
âYeah, itâs this incredible Italian opera and Iâve always wanted to see it but none of my friends are really into that. Not that you are, but you said you like classical music, this is kind of a branch of of thatâŠin a way and-â
âIâd love to go.â He said and you smiled. Â
âReally?â
âYeah, sure. We could tally off another one of our appearances.â He said and you bit your lip as the pang of hurt radiated from your chest and out to the rest of your body. But you smiled and nodded.
âY-yeah, exactly. Just get another one of those out of the way.â You responded, trying your best to ward off the growing knot that was lodged up in your throat. You really were just inviting him as a friend, not as part of your PR arrangement, so the sting of rejection remained.
âCool, Iâll get the details from my team then.â
âYeah.â You nodded, holding back the need to cry now. It hurt so bad, you hadnât been in this position in a long while, the unrequited affections position. You really just struggled with dating so you hadnât really spent a lot of time with someone you were into in a long time so everything was just intensified in a way, including the disappointment. You quickly opened up the door to get him out of there as soon as possible so that you could go cry it out for a bit. âRemember we donât shoot tomorrow morning.â You reminded and he smiled.
âPositive?â He asked as he turned to you and you nodded.
âItâs an afternoon shoot tomorrow.âÂ
âOkay, thank you. Whenâs call time?â
âFor you itâs 3pm.â You said and he nodded.
âOkayâŠI really should start adding these to my calendar.â
âYou should.â You concurred as he turned back to you with a smile.
âWell, Iâll see you tomorrow then.â He said and you nodded and he stepped closer and went in for a hug. You did hug sometimes, but you didnât want to just now, but you gave in anyway, relaxing into his embrace as he squeezed around you just a bit. âSleep well, alright?â He said softly as he started to pull back and you nodded but then he turned his head a bit and your noses bumped together.
âSorry-â
âSâmy fault.â He chuckled and then glanced down at your lips. âI ummmâŠâ he trailed off and just grabbed your jaw gently and tilted it up and kissed you quickly on the lips. You didnât even have time to react before he pulled away. âShit.â He cursed. âIâm sorry. Iâm so sorry! Obviously, that was a mistake, I shouldnât have done that.â He rambled as he let you go and took a step back.
âItâs alright, Harry.â You said and he shook his head.
âI didnât even ask you and ummmâŠI donât know, something just came over me and I wasnât thinking. I didnât mean t-to kiss you. FuckâŠâ he cursed at himself.
âHarry, Iâm not upset. Itâs fine.â You assured, trying to hint at the fact that you were very okay with this.Â
âItâs not fine, Y/N. Itâs not.â He said firmly and you couldnât help it as your eyes started to well up, âIt was a mistake. Iâm not like into- like it just happened, okay?â He said instead and you just nodded. He was backed up enough now that he couldnât see your glassy eyes all that well anymore.
âI get it, Harry. Drive safe.â You rushed out and then hurried inside and closed your door before locking it and resting your forehead against it as a soft sob broke past your throat.
*****************
After the initial shock wore off Harry rushed up to your door again, about to knock and apologize again but just as his first raised up he heard the latch of the deadbolt and sighed in defeat. He rested his forehead against the thick door for just a moment before he walked to his car. He got in and then glanced up to see if he could spot you through a window or make out where in the house you were by the flick of a light, but it just stayed dark for a minute or so and he shook his head.
âFuckâŠfuck me.â He grumbled before taking off.
Harry actually had no idea where that impulse to kiss you had come from. He did like you, he wouldnât have agreed to anything more than the film if he didnât. And he had also had so much fun working with you so far, it was just so easy and such a good vibe that he often forgot that it was âworkâ. Like tonight, after having a few glasses of wine he was feeling rather touchy and vulnerable, like he usually did when he drank, and it was so nice to feel that relaxed around you. He felt comfortable and it really was just one of those impulsive thoughts that he had. He had thought about kissing you before, you would for the film. But lately it was on his mind a lot more because those scenes would start filming soon. Maybe even in the upcoming week.Â
Harry wanted to call Tommy or Jeffrey and tell them what he did but he kew heâd get an earful and he didnât want that right now. He just needed a little sympathy and possibly another drink. So he called one his more discrete friends as she also lived in Beverly Hills, just about 10 minutes away from you. And they sat out by the fire pit as they sipped on a cocktail. He was petting at her dogâs back while he shared what heâd done and how anxious he was feeling about having to face you at work now. He told her about the PR stunt and how he felt like heâd majorly crossed a line. And when she asked him why he was beating himself over this so much he wasnât sure what to say. And she helped talk him down and reminded him that if you had said it was OK and you werenât angry that this was entirely about him.
âWhat do you mean?â
âI mean that youâre making it bigger than it is. I meanâŠdo you like her?â
âOf course I like her. We get along really well and-â
âYou know what I mean, H.â She said with a knowing smile and he licked over his lips.
âYeah, I guess I do a bit. Like starting too but I canât you know? Last time I got involved with a co-worker it didnât turn out so great for her. People were cruel.â He said.
âWell this isnât last time. But I mean, if thatâs now a boundary that you really donât want to test ever again then do whatâs going to make you feel better. But I mean, attraction and feelings are sort of out of our hands, you know?â She said with a smile, âAnd burying those too deep also isnât good for you.âÂ
âYeah.â He sighed.
âDid she kiss back?âÂ
âNo.â He said quietly and she hummed, âI mean, it was fastâŠmaybe she would haveâŠIâm glad I didnât stick around to find out though.â He admitted.
âSoâŠI think you know how you want to proceed then.â She said and he sighed and nodded.
âYeah, I guessâŠI guess I do.âÂ
He ended up staying the night there as neither of them had anything in the morning. But he headed home after one final pep talk from her, he needed to mentally prepare for seeing you again. He was an absolute wreck over it, his stomach was turning anxiously when he arrived before his call time just to talk to you, you were likely already there in hair and makeup. There was a dinner party scene you guys were filming, it was the scene where his character began to see yours in a different light. Very appropriate.Â
âHey Harry.â One of staffers greeted him as he breezed by.
âHello!â He waved and then pushed up his glasses further not he bridge of his nose. He hurried over to the hair/makeup trailer. He knocked and heard a cheerful âcome in!â From the artist Veronica. Harry stepped inside and as soon as your eyes met through the mirror you looked away quickly and then his eyes met Veronicaâs.
âHey H! I wasnât expecting you yet!â She said with a smile.
âJust wanted to drop by a bit earlier.â He said and she nodded.
âWell feel free to sit, Iâm almost done with Y/n. Iâm ahead of schedule.â
âThanks, ummm, I actually needed a word w-with Y/n.â He said to her, âIf I can?â He asked and then glanced to you, to see if that was alright with you. You held his gaze for a second before you nodded.
âItâll just be a moment, V.â You said to her.
âMaybe like 5-10 minutes.â He said to you and your inhale literally stopped. Your stomach fluttered violently, your heart pounded hard, and your mouth slightly dried.
âYeah, thatâs fine. Iâll go get a drink. Do you guys want anything from the cafe?â
âNo thanks, Iâm good.â, âNo thank you.â You and Harry responded and she smiled and gave him a pat on the arm as she walked past him and out of the trailer. Harry approached and sat in the seat adjacent to yours. You turned to him and he looked sad, defeated.
âY/n, Iâm so fucking sorry.â He apologized again and your eyes flickered down to your lap and you shook your head with a small smile.
âThereâs nothing to be sorry about, Harry.â You assured him, âIâm not mad. Quite frankly Iâm relieved becauseâŠbecause IâŠI uh-â
âPlease, donât.â He interrupted and your eyes fluttered up to his as the lump in your throat grew, âI know you what youâre about to say. Please donât say it.â He implored and you bit down on your lip to hold back from frowning. âIt doesnât work. It wonât.â He said with certainty, âIâve been thereâŠIâve fallen in love with a really wonderful person who was working along side me and it messed her up.â He said with a frown. âI canât do that to anyone ever again.â He explained.
âI get it.â You whispered.
âBelieve me, itâs hard. I think we work well together, donât we. We mesh!â
âReally nicely.â You agreed.
âYeah.â He confirmed, âSo letâs-lets just do what we need to do and call it a day.â
âOkay.â You nodded your head robotically. You just shut down all your feelings because you couldnât show him how deep in it you were by now. If you could save yourself from anything, at least the embarrassment.
âDoes this change anything for you in terms of like the dates-er appearances w-we have to do?â He asked and you shook your head.
âNo. Donât want to make a fuss. Fred is kind of a nag, donât want him harping and teasing me about it until something more embarrassing or astonishing makes him forget it.â You said.
âYeah, they can give you a hard timeâŠâ he said and you nodded.
âWell uh- actually there is one thing.â You said and he nodded, âT-the opera thing ummm, letâs not do that.â You said and he frowned a bit, âItâs just that when I asked I ummmâŠI wasnât asking you to go as an idea for the appearances. This kind of means a lot to me and I was actually asking you to come with me as a friend.â You clarified, âIâd want to go with wellâŠsomeone who-â
âI get it.â He said with a small smile.
âThank you.â You nodded.
âWell thatâs it I guess.â
âYeah.â You whispered and he stood and left quite awkwardly.
Once again, he was kicking himself over what heâd just done but it was for the best. He needed to put an end to this before he let himself like you a little too much and it ruined everything. Or worse, he gave in and you guys tried for a bit before things inevitably went to shit because of how awful the public were to you until they wore you downâŠbetter safe than sorry. He needed to stop this before it was too late.
***************
You were definitely hurt but you understood where Harry was coming from. And maybe he was right, it was just a bad idea to get involved more than professionally. Admittedly, if you had been in the place of his last girlfriend there was no way you couldâve been as poised as she was through all of it. Through all of the rumors, all of the hate, all of the lies, all of the tasteless jokes⊠you were confident in yourself but not to that extent, surely youâd have a public breakdown at some point with all of that pressure.Â
But as the days went by you realized that youâd soon be filming the more intimate parts of this film. Normally, films didnât film chronologically but this one did. The director really wanted to capture the natural growing closeness between you and Harry as filming progressed. Truth be told, you were acting your asses off and everyone on the set was buying it even though the bond between you two had broken down. Even your dates were different; you guys werenât talking as much as before or learning more and more details about each other like before. Now you mostly talked about work to him or your plans after filming but nothing too personal.Â
You were still nervous for the intimate scenes though, thatâs what you would be doing today, the first intimate scene. You would surely do something to give away just how real your yearning was for him. Your actions couldnât lie. Especially after you hadnât been able to kiss back when heâd kissed you a few weeks before.
âNervous?â Veronica asked and you nodded.
âYeah, a bit.â You confessed.
âDonât be. Just work with the natural tension and attraction the two of you already have going on and itâll be perfect.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âGirl, youâre really gonna make me say it?â She said with a tsk.
âThereâs nothing else going on.â You said and she gave you a disbelieving look.
âWhat was that a couple weeks ago with the âten minute talkâ he needed to have with you?â She asked you.
âIt genuinely was a talk. We had a misunderstanding and I was a little upset at him.â You explained and her gaze softened from teasing and playful to sorry for assuming.
âOhâŠI couldâve sworn that you guys-â
âNo. No. I meanâŠIâŠI like him. Like that.â You said a bit shamefully and she pouted and sat down in the seat beside yours and nodded as she listened, âItâs kind of impossible not to when we spend so much time together and have gotten to know each other the way we have. Like god, itâs so amateur of meâŠâ you shook your head and she sighed.
âHey, no. Look at me, hon. Attraction is natural, you canât help how you feel or how your brain responds to something! And quite frankly I think heâŠlikes you too.â She said and you smiled sadly and shook your head.
âHe doesnât, thatâs what he said that day. That he didnât want to blur the lines and likeâŠitâs been so weird since. So dry and roboticâŠugh, I hate it so much. I donât know how I can do this for another eight weeks.â You sighed.
âWell after you have to kiss all day justâŠact cool. Itâs whatever, yeah? Iâve kissed tons of people and not all of it has to mean something, you know?â
âYeah⊠I hope I can.â
âYou can. You can do it. And i-if you need to talk about it or just be sad about it after you can talk to me. I wonât say a thing. Promise.â She assured you.Â
âThank you.â You said to Veronica and she smiled and nodded.
âOf course, hon.â she assured and this made you feel better. You could certainly get through the next weeks of filming if you had someone to talk to about this.
âŠ. 8 WEEKS LATER âŠ.
The lighting was dim as you approached the front door, the heavy and constant knocks on the door made you hasten your step. You finally opened the door to see Harry drenched from head to toe, clothes clinging to his skin as his eyes met yours.
âWhatâre you doing here?â You asked, your features creased in confusion as he stepped froward and you stepped back into the entrance.
âI needed to see you.â He said as he swung the front door back and it closed with a heavy thud.
âYou just saw me-â
âI didnât like seeing you with him.â He said coming closer and you sighed.
âListen-â
âHeâs not nearly good enough for you.â He said to you firmly and you scoffed.
âAs much as I valued your opinion before, I donât really care for it right now and I didnât ask.â You responded.
âYou didnât need to. I know you.â He said as he reached for you and you increased the distance between the two of you.
âNo you donât. Not anymore.â You shook your head as your eyes started to well up.
âDonât say that.â He frowned, the hurt evident on his face, âYouâre my best friend. I know you.â He insisted again and you let out a sarcastic laugh.
âWe havenât spoken sinceâŠâ you trailed off and swallowed thickly.
âSince I let you walk away.â He finished your thought for you and you nodded. âI was scared.â He admitted.
âYou werenât scared with April or Sarah.â You said and he sighed.
âThey werenât you. There was more to lose with you.â He explained and you shook your head.
âThatâs a miserable excuse. You always do this!â You groaned with frustration, âYou see that Iâve moved on, that Iâm happy and then you come to me and make me believe you-â
âI know youâre not happy.â He interrupted.
âIâm happier than when Iâm playing this stupid game with you!â You raised your voice, your breathing shallow as you expressed your frustration and he frowned. âYou say you love me and fuck me and then say we canât be together!â
âCanât you see how that proves how much I love you?â He asked sincerely, his eyes meeting yours and you glanced away and shook your head, âIâve loved you this whole time but I canât risk losing my best friend.â He said and you sniffled as your tears started to fall.
âYou donât love me.â You rejected his claim, âYou love who Iâve been for you. Always available, desperate for you to realize that Iâve been here the whole time, but Iâm not that person anymore. I donât need you any more.â You said and he frowned, âYou donât know whatâs it been likeâŠâ you said to him with a sad smile, âBeing here. Waiting. Watching you choose someone else over and over again and when it fails you come running back to me. But Iâve realized that if I wasnât good enough to be your first or second choice, surely Iâm not enough for you now. And I never will be.â You said to him, your voice cracked a bit.
âYou are enough. Youâre more than! I just wasnât good enough for you. I didnât want to hurt you and lose you.â He explained reaching for your hands and you pulled them out of his grip.
âWell, you hurt me any way. And you lost me anyway. And now that you know youâve lost me you hate to see it. Well good.â You seethed and he frowned.
âBaby-â
âDonât. Donât start with that.â You warned with a frown, âI donât believe you anymore. I gave my heart over to you every time, like an idiot, thinking that Iâd be safe with you and every single time youâve disappointed me! Well, not anymore.â You said and he reached for you again. âPlease leave.â
âIâm not leaving until you tell me that you love me too.â He pressed and you scoffed.
âYou need to move on!â You laughed incredulously.
âI canât! Believe me, Iâve tried!â He raised his voice, his breathing hard, âIâm sorry that Iâve hurt you and that Iâve disappointed you but Iâm not afraid anymore.â He said reaching for your hands once more and this time you let him take them, âIâm not afraid of the love we have for each other. I will do anything I can to prove to you that itâll be different this time. That I wonât disappoint you ever again.â He said earnestly, âPlease.â He begged and you swallowed thickly. âI need you like I need air! Being away from you has been torture. And seeing you with someone else has been worse than torture.â He said grabbing your jaw and angling you up gently. His thumb wiped your tears away carefully and you closed your eyes, âNuh-uh, look at me.â He insisted and your eyes blinked open and met his again. âSay it. Say that you love me, baby. I need to hear you say it.â He practically begged as he leaned in closer.
âI love you.â You whispered and he quickly closed the gap between you.Â
His warm, plump lips met your own hungrily. The soft wet sounds of your kisses and shallow breaths were the only noises in the background, everything was perfectly still otherwise and it really felt like you two were the only people in the world in this moment. You were so close his sopping clothes were transferring the wetness to your own top and his strong hands were holding you low on your hips now, you could feel the cold of them through the thin sleep shorts you were in. âI love you, I do.â You mumbled against his lips and then pulled back and he chased after you but you turned your head to the side and squeezed your eyes shut as he kissed the corner of your mouth and up your jaw, âBut I love me more.â You said as you pushed him back and he loosened his grip on you as he pulled back to look at you, his disappointment evident in his gaze, his eyes searching yours. âIâm more than a last resort.â You said and he frowned, âI always chose you and you never chose me, so Iâm choosing myself over you this time.â You said and he looked at you with disappointment.
âCara-â
âYouâre going to be okay.â You assured him and he shook his head.
âWhat a silly thing to say.â He whispered with doubt, a sad smile on his lips.
âIf I am after everything, you will be too.â You assured him with a half smile and he let you go.
âIâm sorry.â He apologized quite pitifully and you nodded.
âI know.â You said once more and he rolled his lips together and nodded before silently turning around and heading out the door. You walked over and turned the lock and then turned around and let out a long exhale and then your lips turned up in a small, but sincere smile as you glanced up to the ceiling and made direct eye contact with the camera peering down at you.
âCUT!â The director shouted and you exhaled and your smile widened, âAnd thatâs a wrap!â She shouted and everyone broke out in a cheer. She rushed over and hugged you tight, praising you for how excellent this final scene was. Harry came over as well and got his own hug from her, thanking him for his delivery and congratulating him on a job well done. You also gave him a brief hug before greeting others from the cast.
All the raw emotions of the project being completed really helped you guys along this final scene. It had been one of those magical moments where the first take went perfectly. You guys ran through the entire dialogue and it worked exactly as everyone had envisioned it. Truly, you hardly even noticed the cameras around you guys. The film would be released on Prime in three short months, which was when your contractual obligation to each other would end. Your appearances together were going to be far more âprivateâ now that filming was about to wrap. Sure, youâd be seen out at places together, but it was supposed to start to slow down. You had prepared what you would say when someone inevitably asked you what was going on between you two during the promo tour and press junkets. That you guys got really close to the characters and also each other during filming and just let these bleed together while filming and that obviously, it had started to cool down since you werenât seeing each other every single day for 10 to 11 of the 24 hours the day had.Â
âWe did it.â Harry said as he came up to you as you guys got ready to go and you nodded.
âYeah. Itâs crazy that itâs already done.â You chuckled, still a little bit in shock and he nodded.
âRightâŠwell I did have fun filming with you.âÂ
âSame.â You said with a small smile and he nodded.
âAre you going to the cast dinner tomorrow?â
âOf course, Iâm in the castâŠâ You said through a chuckle.
âDuhâŠâ he said nervously as he looked down at his feet in a bit of embarrassment.
âWell Iâll see you tomorrow then?â
âYeah.â You confirmed and turned to get into your car and just offered one final wave before you took off.Â
You glanced back to see him still standing there, watching you go. You were glad your windows were tinted so that he couldnât see you staring back, but you just werenât sure what to feel. As much as you were into him, you were dreading the rest of your time âtogetherâ. Clearly to him this was just like any other task he had for work, maybe he was used to this but you werenât. Youâd never done anything like this before and you kind of expected him to be a little more understanding and not so harsh and cold about it like he had been with you.
âŠ. TWO MONTHS LATER âŠ.
Harry wasnât that clueless, he noticed the shift in your interactions with him after filming ended. Almost as if you were relieved that you wouldnât have to see each other every single day for hours and hours at a time. He knew that you liked him and he wished he had handled that differently because clearly the way he went about it hurt your feelings to the extent that youâd gone completely cold on him.
When youâd go out and heâd grab your hand it was dead weight in his grip. When heâd drape his arm around your shoulder he could feel the tension in them. And when youâd exchange âloving glancesâ your smile didnât light up your eyes like before. Maybe it was just what you needed to do to get through the last month of this stunt but it was just going bad now. He wanted to apologize but he had no idea what he even needed to apologize for because he wasnât sorry about the conversation heâd had with you.
You guys needed to tighten things up at the personal level, clearly he got far too comfortable with you fast and it scared him. He didnât want to get hurt again and he didnât want to hurt you either. Heâd done this to protect you both from getting far more involved than necessary and now he felt like even the potential friendship he could have with you was crumbling before him which was really unfortunate.Â
He was feeling bummed out as he drove past your tall, wooden gate and up the long driveway to your house. He saw another car there but didnât really mind it as he parked somewhere out of its way. He was getting out of his car when the front door opened and out rushed some guy who definitely looked familiar, probably some other industry guy. His hair was wet and he looked a bit surprised to see Harry there, so he rushed to his car.
âHey!â He called after him and hurried towards him.
âLook man, she said you guys arenât dating and-â
âWait, she slept with you?â Harry asked with a small frown.
âSo you are dating?â He asked and Harry shook his head ânoâ, âThank, fuck. Then, yes, we did.â He said and Harry nodded and swallowed thickly.
âIs she- can I go in?â
âYeah, sheâs just finishing up her shower.â He said and Harry nodded.
âThanks, mate.â He mumbled before heading towards the door.Â
With every step he took the anger rose and rose further and further. You were being reckless, putting everything in jeopardy all to what? Get back at him for not liking you back? He was waiting in the kitchen, but when he heard you singing along to whatever was playing on your phone as you made your way down he hurried out to meet you. When he rounded the corner and saw you coming down the final step you gasped in surprise.
âOh my god, Harry!â You scolded with a hand over your chest as you put your music on pause. He didnât answer so you walked past him, âYouâre here a lot early.â You said to him playfully as he followed you wordlessly. He was just so fuming mad after seeing a faint hickey right beneath your jaw, âHello?â You questioned him until his frustrated gaze met yours.
âWhat the fuck is the matter with you?â He questioned you.
âWhatâre you talking about?â
âI saw him leaving. That guy.â He came right out and said it.
âLook, it was a spur of the moment thing, we were just having dinner and one thing led to another and-â
âYou fucked him.â He said and you sighed. âHow could you do that?â He asked you in disbelief.
âWhat do you mean? Itâs not like weâre actually together.â You scoffed and he frowned but then let the anger overcome him once more.
âExactly! Weâre not together and if anyone sees some stupid dweeb leaving your house then all of this is going to be for nothing!â He rationalized.
âOh my god, no oneâs gonna see anything, HarryâŠâ
âThey might see that fucking hickey on your neck!â He argued, âHow clueless can you be?!â He was berating you now, his voice raised and his expression creased in a scowl and you frowned.
âI didnât think about that. I mean, I-I can cover it. If not, theyâll just think it was you.â You said more quietly.
âNo one would ever believe that was me. I have never left visible marks on anyone Iâve been with. My fans will never buy it.â He said pointedly. âYou canât do shit with other people while we are contractually obligated to each other. It doesnât take a genius to figure that out, Y/N!â
âWell, there is no clause about that! And I was careful!â
âNot careful enough! I canât believe you would do something so stupid and all for what? To get back at me?â He scoffed with an accusatory tone and now it was your turn to scoff incredulously.
âOh, donât fucking flatter yourself, Harry!â You laughed mawkishly as you rolled your eyes up in disbelief.
âDonât pretend like you didnât do this on purpose to piss me off.âÂ
âWhy would I want to piss you off if I have to spend a whole fucking day with you?â You asked him and well, he had no idea. âHe likes me and he wanted to have dinner with me. I said I couldnât do that out in public so I offered for him to come over instead.â
âHe doesnât like you, he just wanted to fuck you.â Harry said with a sarcastic smile.
âWell good for him then! He did!â
âYouâre being childish.â
âIâm being childish? Youâre the one waltzing in here over an hour early, might I add, yelling at me because I hooked up with someone in the privacy of my home when weâre not even a thing!â
âI already told you why Iâm angry at you over this.â
âWell I already told you that I was careful! This is my first time doing something like this and I made a bad judgment call. I genuinely didnât think it would be a problem.â You said and he shook his head.Â
âYou knew it would be. You did it to get back at me forâŠnever mind.â He huffed and rolled his eyes.
âFor what? Finish the sentence, Harry.â You demanded.
âYou know why.â He said lowly and you arched your eyebrows up.
âI donât. Enlighten me, please.â You insisted.
âBecause of what I said to you before about us. I hurt your feelings and-â
âYeah, you were kind of a prick about it but Iâm not offended. You were right about that and I think Iâve done enough to manage what I used to feel for you-â
âUsed to feel? The wave of hostility youâve unleashed upon me after I rejected you says otherwise. And I think youâre just acting out because you canât get a handle on your feelings. Youâre being impulsive and itâs going to throw a wrench in things!â
âIâm being impulsive? Who kissed who, Harry? Iâm forgettingâŠâ You said sarcastically and he glanced to the ground.
âThat was a mistake.â
âYeah, youâve made that abundantly clear over and over again, thanks.â You said with irritation. âAnd Iâm not being hostile. Iâm doing what I need to do until we just get this stupid thing over with!â You said to him, completely exasperated, âIâve never done this before, OK? I didnât expect t-to like you like I do-er did.â You corrected yourself with a shake of your head, âIâm sure it was weird for you the first time you did it.â You said and his jaw clenched up because you were right.Â
His first PR stunt fucked him up for a whileâŠhe was still a teenager, frontal lobe smooth as butter. But he let himself fall and he thought she was too and well, to this day he was still a hot topic amongst her projects. It did bother him a little bit at first, he reckoned itâd bother anyone but he didnât give it the satisfaction of a negative response ever. He changed the narrative, called it a compliment even though he had no idea where the fuck he was going with that at the moment. He never said a bad thing even through his music even though heâd been painted as the âbad guyâ who was a player and couldnât commit over and over again. Heâd hoped it would work out but to anyone outside of it, it was kind of obvious that it wouldnât go anywhere. After all, what could a 23 year old want with a 18 year old in any serious manner? The point being, that these PR stunts and crossing professional lines always left one or both people hurting if they werenât overly cautious, which is why he had said what he had said to you.Â
But now he was jealous, gut wrenchingly jealous when he shouldnât be. You had made a mistake but you had been cautious to not endanger what you guys had signed on for. He was being far too harsh with you and sensitive about this and he needed to reel it back in. You were waiting for him to say something, anythingâŠ
âYou shouldnât have done that. It was a stupid mistake.â He said again and you swallowed thickly.
âYeah, I get it.â You responded lowly.
âDo you?â He asked. He was patronizing you and you glanced up to the ceiling and shook your head.
âHarry, honestly, I donât need this. Please leave.â You said to him and he frowned.
âBut we-â
âI donât want to be with you for the whole fucking day and pretend that I like you.â You said and he felt his heart shrivel up.
âWe have an obligation to do an appearance-â
âWell Iâll see you around dinner time then because I donât want to be around you right now.â You said to him and he bit on the inside of his cheek to distract from the hurt in his heart.
âYeah, alright.â He said lowly and turned around to leave.
âCongrats by the way.â You said to him and he sighed and looked back at you quizzically, âYou got what you wanted this whole time, I donât think I like you anymore.â You said to him callously and he suddenly wanted to throw up so he just hurried out of there and sat in his car in utter silence for a few minutes before taking off.
You guys did meet over dinner and he apologized for how heâd handled the whole situation earlier that day. You'd cooled off enough as well and apologized for not considering what he had mentioned and assured him that you wouldnât do it again while you were contractually obligated to each other. He was hoping to hear you say that you didnât mean what youâd said about not liking him anymore, but he never got the satisfaction. He was certain youâd spoken purely out of anger with him, especially after heâd been such a dick about it, but maybe you just needed to tell yourself that to really not let your feelings grow anymore than they had or even to just not have some illusion that he was jealous. Which he was, but heâd never admit that to you or anyone else, he hardly admitted it to himself. But by the end of the night you were both very cordial with each other and able to hug before heading your own ways.
âŠ. FOUR MONTHS LATER âŠ.
The film had been a success to say the least. It was getting decent reviews and your press for it had been good. After you and Harry had put aside your problems after your fight things got monumentally better. There were tons of questions about whether you guys were dating or not and you both explained your attraction and dedication to your roles expertly, leaving a hint of mystery behind every time this came up, in very Harry-esque nature. But each night before you went to bed in whatever city you were for the night you thought of Harry, how could you not?
Of course you still liked him, even now, after months of not seeing each other your heart went all soft and gooey at the thought of him. Yeah, you had said that you didnât like him anymore hoping to get a reaction out of him when you fought. You knew that he was jealous that day and you wanted him to just admit it, you wanted to get a rise out of him and hope he spoke up but in his true obstinate nature, he never did. You wondered what wouldâve happened if he had admitted it. Where would you be now? Probably on a vacation somewhere really getting to know the parts of each other that youâd left guarded, which admittedly werenât many.
âEarth to Y/NâŠâ your friend said, snapping you out of your thoughts and you chuckled in slight embarrassment.
âSorry, what?â You asked.
âI asked if you and Harry still talk.â She repeated her question.
âOh rightâŠummm, n-not really. Itâs not like weâre close friends, we just worked together. We just had to be super chummy during the press tours and stuff. Like it was a really superficial friendship Iâd say.â You fibbed and she sighed.
âSo no free shows for usâŠâ She mumbled and you smiled a bit and shrugged apologetically, âYou had one job.â She joked and you giggled before getting back to eat and everyone else started talking again.Â
In reality, you and Harry had gotten close after spending so much time together. Youâd shared a lot of things with him and vise versa. He had been a little more hesitant to take it there but after a good month or so of constantly being around each other and âseeing each otherâ he started to open up about more real and deep things. Things like how much he worried about his mom, how she deserved to be happy and have a full life full of love. How he was worried that heâd never be able to really stop making music and touring at the level he did now and it would affect his ability to marry and have his own family. How he wished there was a way to know that you were doing the right thing or going down the best path and you guys talked about that a lot. About what âthe right thingâ was. About what it meant to be happy and fulfilled. What was most important to him now and could he afford to keep pushing the rest of his life back to relish where he was now.
You were an over thinker, much like him, and you guys talked about how nice it was when you didnât worry so much and just lived day to day, focusing on that dayâs challenges and blessings. It was nice, you felt comfortable around him and safe, looked after. He was good at making people feel seen and special and with all of that it was hard not to start to fall for him. You missed him a lot. You wanted to text him or call him sometimes just to see how he was doing, what he was up to, if by any chance he missed you tooâŠWhen you had that thought you smiled to yourself a bit and talked yourself out of it. Of course he didnât miss you, he was probably glad you were gone, something less for him to deal with and worry about.
****************
Harryâs POV
Harry had been lying in bed for a good hour already, drifting in and out of sleep. He canceled his work out and his morning swim, he didnât have the energy to go to that right now. And thatâs how he knew that he was in a bad way, when even those simple pleasures werenât even a little appealing to him. In all honesty, heâd been feeling like this for a few weeks now and it all started when he was at dinner with some friends and one of your songs came over the speakers at the restaurant. At first it felt good to hear your voice, it made him feel happy and warm inside, but when he was at home later that night and all alone in his bed he started to miss you. And he felt so awful.Â
He felt awful about how heâd handled his attraction towards you. He hated how afraid he was of doing what his heart asked him to. He missed going on âdatesâ with you. He missed the conversations you guys had, he missed seeing the sincere care in your eyes when he shared things or opened up about topics he felt nervous about. He was never judged by you, in fact he felt accepted with you. He looked forward to the time youâd spend together off the set for a reason, it was because he liked you. A lot. And now he felt foolish for being too scared to admit it when he had the chance. He was sad when he came to the realization that youâd probably moved on and closed off your heart to him after how he behaved.
Regardless, he wanted to see you or at the very least to hear your voice. He at least needed to reach out and let you know that he was thinking of you. He did have a trip to LA in a few weeks and he decided that heâd reach out and see if you wanted to hang out for a bit, he only had two days of work things to take care of but he could add a few more days to his travel plans if it meant making things right with you.
âŠ. A FEW WEEKS LATER âŠ.
You were genuinely shocked when Harryâs name lit up your phone screen one breezy afternoon. It was past midnight his time so you had a mind to just ignore it, he was probably drunk or somethingâŠbut then you remembered how sweet and giggly he was when heâd had a little much to drink, so you swiped at your screen and brought your phone up to your ear.
âHello?âÂ
âHey!â He sounded relieved. Relieved that you had answered?
âUmmmâŠare you drunk?â You asked immediately and he huffed out a little chuckle.
âNoâŠwhy would I be drunk at this hour?â He asked and you furrowed your eyebrows a little bit in confusion.
âWell youâre calling me past midnight your time so I just assumed. Unless something is wrong? Are you okay?â You asked next.
âYeah, Iâm fine. And Iâm actually on your time. And while I enjoy day drinking as much as the next person I can assure you I am not drunk. I just ummmâŠI wanted to see if you had any free time in the next couple days or so? Maybe we could see each other?â He suggested hopefully and you felt your stomach sink.Â
The less mature part of you wanted to be a smart ass with him, tell him you didnât need to hang out as your contract was long over. But you did miss him and as much as his invitation raised up some of your past irritations with him it wasnât worth being a bitch to him over, especially after all of that time. Maybe this was him extending an olive branch? Maybe you guys could be proper friends now that your working relationship was over.
âUmmm, yeah. I actually donât have any plans at all the next few days.â You explained.
âAnd work?â
âIâm not doing anything right now just relishing in the big bucks from our hit rom-com.â You said with a dry sarcasm and he chuckled.
âGod, already letting all that fame get to your head, are you?â He teased and you giggled.
âYeah, Iâm changed.â You responded and he laughed. âWell, what did you have in mind?â You asked.
âDinner? Iâm renting this really beautiful place up in the hills and it has the most impeccable views, youâd love it. Thereâs a hot tub and a pool and a piano, we could just hang out here for a while? Or if you prefer to do something in town somewhere we could do that too.â
âWell I do want to see this house youâre staying at but ummm, I donât want to impose or anything and-â
âIâm inviting you over, youâre not imposing in any way, love.â He assured.
âAlright then. Well when do you prefer I come over?â
âDo you want to do tomorrow? Say around 3 or 4?â He asked and you bit on your lip, âWe could talk, swim, share music because Iâm certain youâve been writing.â He said knowingly and you smiled.
âYeah, thatâs good. Iâll show up sometime between 3 and 4, gotta keep you on your toes, you know?â
âYeah.â He hummed, âSo bring your swim suit, or donât I mean, either way you can expect to get in the waterâŠâ he said suggestively and you chuckled.
âShould I bring anything else?â
âNo just yourself.â He said and you nodded, âWe can plan dinner once youâre here.â
âAlright, sounds good. See yaâ.âÂ
âSee you soon.â He replied and then you quickly hung up.
You set your phone down on your lap and just let your face contort in confusion. What was that all about? You guys werenât even friends⊠sure, things were this easy with him all the time but you couldnât help but question his motives. Maybe he still felt guilty for how things transpired between the two of you and he just needed to do this to confirm that you werenât upset at him. You grabbed your phone and called him back, he picked up right away.
âHello?â
âWhy are you doing this?â You asked.
âWait, what?â He questioned you and you sighed.
âWhat do you want from me by asking me over to hang out or whatever?â You asked more clearly and Harry frowned upon hearing you asking this.
âUmmm, I didnâtâŠmean anything by it, itâs just hanging out.â He said and you sighed.
âRight, but weâre not friends.â You said and his heart lurched in his chest, âNow that we arenât working together we can be or what?â You asked for clarity.
âI mean, yes, i-if you want that?â He said with a questioning tone.
âOkayâŠâ you said and trailed off.
âIs there something wrong with that?â He asked and you werenât sure how to answer that.
âI just ummmâŠI donât know if I can trust that you wonât get allâŠweird.â You said to him.
âThatâs valid.â
âI mean we were friends before. Or at least I considered us t-to have a friendship to some extent and then you justâŠtook that away.â You explained and he nodded with a frown as he heard you out.
âI think we were friends too.â He agreed, âI just have a hard time letting people in.â
âAnd now you donât?â You asked.
âNo, I certainly do but IâŠâ he sighed and licked over his lips as he plopped down on the couch as he stared at the ceiling as he decided to just admit it, âI miss you.â He confessed and you bit your lip upon hearing his words. You hoped it would stop the butterflies that were starting to flutter about in your tummy but it wasnât doing much. âHonestly Y/N, I donât think I handled the relationship between us the right way and-â
âCan I come over right now?â You interrupted him.
âUmmm, y-yes. Sure.â He said nervously.
âI just think we ought to have this conversation in person.â You explained and he smiled a bit. God, you had to make it harder for him, didnât you?
âYouâre right.â He conceded. âIâll send you the address right now.â
âShould I still bring a swim suit?â You asked, he could heard the smirk on your face and he chuckled. Your smiled widened at your successful attempt to lighten the mood.
âWe can talk things out in the hot tub.â He joked.
âIâll see you in a little bit.â
âYeah, drive safe.â He said and you thanked him and hung up again.
You headed up to your room and grabbed a bathing suit, a simple, paisley print, two-piece and dropped it into your tote and then took off. You were nervous, not so much about what he would say but at the prospect of you leaving with any sense of false hope. Yeah, he missed you, but that didnât really mean anything but that. You couldnât or shouldnât read into that in any way. When you were all in your head like this time just escaped you and soon enough you were pulling up to the gate and putting in the code he had texted you before you started heading up the driveway. You only waited a few moments at the door after ringing the doorbell before he opened it up.Â
âHi.â He said softly with a smile on his face and you smiled back.
âHey.â You responded, you just looked at each other for a few moments before he chuckled and moved out of the way.
âOh, come in. Please.â He said and allowed you to step inside. You looked around as he locked up. The home was very modern, an open concept type of thing and it had one of those sunken living rooms that were making a come back.Â
âThis is cool.â You complimented.
âYeah, I like it a lot.â He said as he came up beside you and looked out at the space. âUmmm, can I get you something to drink? Or a snack if youâre hungry? I haveâŠwatermelon.â He said and you smiled.
âNo thanks, Iâm alright.â You assured him and he nodded and just looked over you for a few more moments. It made you feel all tingly so you cleared your throat and he looked down at the ground.
âUmmm so letâs justâŠwe can sit over here and talk.â He said signaling towards the living room and you nodded and followed him down the small set of steps leading down to the couches. âFeel free to get comfy wherever.â
âThanks.â You said as you headed towards one of the corners of the large sectional and slipped off your shoes before you nestled in, legs criss-crossed over each other as you pulled a pillow into your lap. Harry settled in near you, one of his legs tucked under him and the other hanging off of the couch. He looked a bit pensive, not entirely sure how or where to start and you were getting a little impatient.
âSo youâŠmissed me.â You said simply and he glanced into you eyes and nodded.
âYeah, I have been forâŠa while.â He confirmed and you sighed.
âI have tooâŠa little bit.â You admitted as you looked down into your lap and he smiled.
âItâs nothing to be ashamed of, we did spend a lot of time together soâŠâ
âYeah, true.â You sighed.
âSo ummm, what I was saying beforeâŠâ he started and you nodded, âI didnât go about things the right way with you. I couldâve beenâŠâ
âLess of a dick?â You interjected and he smiled down at his lap, when he looked up at you, you were already smiling.
âI was going to say nicer about it but same thing, I guess.â He chuckled and you did as well. âIâve been thinking about it a lot and while my reasons for it were really valid, I think, it doesnât mean that I handled it well and IâŠregret hurting your feelings. Iâm sorry.â He said and you hummed.
âThank you. I justâŠwas -er still am a bit confused about that because, I mean, I told you that Iâd never done something like this before and I donât knowâŠI guess I was just expecting you to be a little bit more understanding or even just compassionate with me about the whole thing, you know?â You explained and he nodded.
âI wish I had been. I really do.â He said with a small frown. âI can explain actually.â He said and you nodded, âAnd this is not an excuse at all, itâs just that, an explanation.â He added and you nodded again, âWhen I kissed you IâŠI realized how much I was starting to like you and it scared me.â He explained, âAnd it took me back to what Iâd been through before and I didnât want that again, not for me, but especially not for you.â He explained, âSo I decided that I wasnât going to allow my feelings for you to grow any more or go any further than that.â He said and your gaze on him softened, âAnd well, i-it worked well enough for a bit. It was easier when we were working to remind myself that it was for the best. And then we fought and you told me you didnât like me anymore and I felt like shit but I was also glad because you deserved better than that.â He said with a frown. âBut when we went our own ways it got worseâŠnot worse, you know what I mean.â He said nervously, âI just thought about you all the time- er I have been thinking about you this whole time. Just wondering i-if you think about me too sometimesâŠI mean, I know that you donât feel that way about me any more but-â
âI do.â You cut in and he looked surprised.
âAfter all of that?â He asked softly and you nodded.
âYou more than made up for it on the press tour.â You assured him, âI just didnât want to make you uncomfortable or upset you so I buried it all but I still like you. I mean, how could I not?â You chuckled and he smiled at you. âAnd Iâm sorry for the way I said I didnât, I wanted to make you upset.â You explained.
âWell it worked.â He chuckled and you smiled sadly. âI kind of deserved it though.â He said, âYou didnât ummmâŠsee that guy again did you?â He asked and you smiled.
âI didnât.â You confirmed and he smiled down at his lap.
âGood.â He mumbled lowly and you just smiled to yourself for a moment, âI really like you, Y/N.â He finally said as his gaze met your own. âAnd i-if you still like me too then maybe we can try and go an actual date.â He said with hope and you nodded.
âIâd like that.â You agreed and he smiled wider.
âOkay, thatâsâŠthatâs good to hear.â He chuckled nervously, âSo tomorrow d-do you want to go out and do something with me? Iâve got something in mind.â
âWhy not tonight?â You asked with a small pout and he chuckled.
âBecause Iâd like to make it at least a little bit nice.â He added and you smiled.
âOh okay, then. Thatâs fine with me!â You giggled and he chuckled. âI brought my bathing suit so maybe we can go for a swim and have dinner instead, like we planned for tomorrow?â
âYeah, sounds good.â He agreed easily and you both got changed and then got into the pool where you caught up on how the last few months had been treating you both so far.Â
Then, you had dinner and watched a film and he reached for your hand while you guys watched. Youâd held hands before but now you at least knew it was out of a desire to and not obligation it made the butterflies in your stomach swarm at ungodly rates. As the night wrapped up he walked you out to your car, like the sweet man you knew him to be but it was hard to leave. You guys lingered there, finding random little things to talk about to prevent saying goodbye.
âThank you for hearing me out, by the way.â He said to you after another small moment of silence and you smiled up at him as you leaned on your car and smiled at him. âYou didnât have to after everything.â
âOf course. Iâm really glad you reached out to me.â You assured him and he nodded and pulled you in for a hug for maybe the third time now and you nestled into him and sighed, âI really missed you too.â You hummed softly and he pulled back a little bit, enough to be able to look into your eyes again. Neither of you wanted to let go more than that.
âCan I kiss you?â
âYes.â You said instantly, âPlease.â You chuckled and he did as well as he angled up your face gently by your jaw until he was dipping down enough to smoosh his lips against yours.Â
He was tentative, he didnât want to kiss you too hard and hungrily for the first time since the time heâd mucked it up. He wanted you to feel how much he missed you and that despite his previous disrespects, that he in fact did respect you and your time and openness towards him. His fingers skimming along your jaw caused your skin to rise with goosebumps and for a delicious shiver to zing throughout your body. You wanted to lose your cool and just let things get fiery with the tension that simmered between you but he was being so patient himself that it staved off your desperation. You wanted to enjoy how soft and tender he was being right now. You liked how his feelings were emanating from him in intense waves and warming you from the inside out. Finally, he pulled away, it was painful and almost impossible to let him end the kiss.
âIâll see you tomorrow?â He whispered between the two of you and you nodded.
âYeah.â
âIâll pick you up around 7.â He informed and you nodded.
âOkay.â You whispered and he pulled you off to the side before opening your car door, âThanks.â
âOf course.â He smiled and you bit your lip for a moment.
âOne for the road?â You asked timidly and he grinned grabbed your face before pecking your lips once more.
âThere you are. Now leave while I have the self-control to let you go.â He mumbled between you two and you laughed before settling into your seat and he closed the door behind you. You buckled up and got the engine on and he backed up, giving you room to get going and with a final wave you headed home. You werenât driving fast at all but it felt like you were flying. You couldnât stop smiling, even as you settled into bed and stared at the dark ceiling you were wearing a huge smile until you fell asleep.
***************
Youâd been on edge all day wondering what it was that he would plan for you two. When you texted to ask what you should wear he said he was going for a semi-casual look, button down with a vest and trousers sort of thing so you decided on going for a similar vibe. You spent hours trying on a variety of combinations and in the end you settled on a black mini skirt with a creme colored, sleeveless knit top. You searched around for your chunky loafers and decided those paired best with the outfit as well. You had blown out your hair that morning so you got it into rollers and threw on a shower cap before you got in and exfoliated your body religiously. You knew your wax girl would kill you, but you ran a razor over your legs to get rid of the slightly prickly layer of hair growing in. You moisturized efficiently and then spritz yourself  with your current preferred fragrance, Brit for Her by Burberry.Â
You had taken a fondness to the scent recently because it reminded you of him. Not that he even smelled like that but just vibe of it made you think of who he was. The prominent or top notes were sweet and fruity. They were bright and intriguing but not overpowering like some fruity perfumes could be. These blended so well with the warmer, darker base notes of vanilla, amber, and mahogany. It created an alluring and irresistible blend of fragrances that seemed to perfectly encompass the feeling he gave you of comfort and warmth and excitement. You wanted it to linger and be memorable, the way he lingered and was memorable to you. Truly, you had no idea where this with him would go or if it would even work out, but you knew he was the kind of person who would leave a mark on you forever.
When you got his call that he was outside you grabbed you gave yourself one more spritz, grabbed your purse, and got into your shoes before hurrying out. He was waiting outside of the car for you, his smiled widened when you saw you going down the steps.
âYou look lovely.â He complimented as you approached and you smiled timidly until you got up to him.Â
âThank you.â You hummed softly and he pulled you in for a hug and he froze for a second when you hugged him back.
âFuckâŠyou smell so good.â He hummed against you and you smirked victoriously as he squeezed around you a bit more. âDamn.â He mumbled as he dipped down to kiss right under your jaw and inhale the sweet scent. You giggled as his little bit of stubble lightly tickled your skin as he nuzzled closer.
âStop thatâŠâ You laughed as he nipped at your skin.
âI canât.â He huffed before kissing up to your lips and pecking over them a few times and pulling away with his lip bitten beneath his teeth.
âPlease take me on a date.â You said softly and he smiled.
âYeah alright.â He agreed with a grin and you giggled as he opened up the door for you. You greeted your driver and settled in as he hurried over to his side and soon enough you were on the road.
âSo where are we going?â You asked as your fingers fiddled together and he smiled.
âYouâll seeâŠâ he said smugly and you chuckled. You both hummed along to the radio as you tried to figure out where it was you were heading but you seemed to be going in almost a circle as you started heading back towards where your house was. Then you guys turned down a street and you immediate recognized the area and saw the wine bar you guys had been to before just down the way.
âAre we going back to the wine bar?â You asked him and he immediately smiled as you started to slow down before it.
âI desperately need a do over.â He said to you and you smiled, âThings shouldâve gone a lot differently than they did that night. So weâre doing it again, correctly this time.â He said with a smile as the car stopped at the valet station up front.
âYouâre too sweet.â You said softly and he smiled.Â
You were soon helped out of the car by the attendant as Harry met you on the sidewalk and you thanked the driver and valet before looping your arms together and heading inside. He gave his name to the young lady at the entrance and she kept her cool as she guided you on back to where you sat the last time you were there. Of course, people were looking but he didnât seem to mind and soon you were tucked into the back of the bar, mostly covered from everyoneâs curious gazes and just smiling at each other across the small table. You guys ordered your first glass and then got to playing Jenga; this one had questions pasted onto the sides of the blocks so you guys went through the tower, giving your responses and discussing these until you toppled it over. You couldnât help it, your hands were shaky with nerves but also with excitement. He looked so handsome, it was almost painful not to look at him. Soon enough, two glasses turned to four, and you were both giggly and reminiscing your filming days fondly. He had been telling a story about a little mishap he had with one of the modesty garments for one of his scenes with another actress and you two were laughing so hard.
âWait, wait, wait, I need to go to the bathroom so bad!â You laughed breathily and he chuckled as he let your hand go over the top of the table.
âYeah, love you go on. Do you want me to order you another?â He asked and you nodded as you hopped down from the high stool.
âPlease.â you confirmed as you came around. You were half expecting it when he pulled you in by the waist and nuzzled against your neck again.
 âYou were too far away.â He hummed as he nipped under your jaw for a second as his big, warm palm nearly caressed down your bottom and you smiled.
âBehave.â You reprimanded playfully and he pulled back to meet your eyes.
âI am.â He assured you and you smiled. âNow go.â
âThat requires letting me go.â
âI knowâŠâ he said and released you with some reluctance. He watched as you walked off, hips swaying hypnotically as you headed off.Â
Yeah, you needed to use the bathroom but you also needed a break from the intensity of Harryâs gaze on you. It was intense before, but now that you knew he was also into you it felt overwhelming. This entire time he found a way to graze his fingertips against yours, to knock his foot into yours, to make you aware of the minimal space between the two of you as much as possible. As if you needed a reminder of how badly you wanted him in the first place. The more you drank the deeper his voice got and the more intense the tingles got when he spoke to you, you swore you felt the vibrations of his low drawn baritone at your core, rippling out to the rest of your body with each word. Lust didnât begin to cover what you felt for him. Even as you sat there for a moment relieving yourself you could hear some other ladies in the bathroom talking about just how good he looked tonight and how demanding and intense his energy was. How it was practically impossible not to feel him in the space. When you opened up the stall door the girls talking about it froze and watched you for a second.
âYouâre not wrong.â You said to them with a small smile and they looked relieved at how relaxed you were towards them. âPlease donât tell anyone that. I just needed to get it off my chest.â You chuckled bashfully as you washed your hands.
âNo girl, your secret is safe with us.â One of them assured with a kind smile.
âYou guys kissed in that movie a bunch of times, how are you still alive?â One of them asked and you chuckled.
âIt was hard for sureâŠâ you confirmed, âWhat was worse was how sweet he isâŠIt makes it so hard not to take it to heart.â You explained and they hummed.Â
âYou look so cute by the way. Could we get a picture?â One of them asked and you smiled.
âUmmm sure!â You giggled and they hurried over. The first pic was a failure, you all laughed at your half closed eyes, âSorry, Iâm so fucking tipsy!â You giggled and on the third try you managed to keep your eyes open wide enough to appear normal.
âI wish we could get one with Harry too.â One of the girls said.
âWell, if you guys leave at the same time as we do I can try and talk him into it.â You offered and they gushed and thanked you and assured you theyâd keep an eye out for this.Â
They were so sweet to you, assuring you that you looked exquisite and giving you the confidence boost you really needed to flirt up a storm with Harry. Heâd been so attentive and youâd been quite cool about it, but you were ready to reciprocate and show him just how much you wanted him too. When you made your way out of the bathroom it was with a new found confidence thanks to your bathroom besties. You were walking a little taller and with a little more sway as you headed back to your table.Â
As you made it back to your secluded little section you saw that Harry had settled into the stool beside yours. He was initially looking at the drinks menu but then he glanced up and right into your eyes, almost as if he sensed you coming. When your eyes met you just about melted. You finally understood that famous and hunger-inducing line form Bridgerton - âI burn for you.â You were feeling it in real time. The energy between you two, the longing of his gaze and how it followed the curves of your body, taking you in from head to toe. You loved how you could see his restraint as you approached your table once again. You felt scrutinized but in a good way. You felt desirable, you felt like the perfect and delicate thing youâd always wanted to be in someoneâs gaze. He made you feel like you were worth all the effort and more and you loved that. You knew you could be a little intense and rough around the edges at times but he clearly liked that. He found it amusing and endearing. He loved having something to fight for. He enjoyed proving to you why he was worth your time and effort.
âWhat?â you asked as you reached your seat and he shook his head.
âYouâre just so fucking beautiful.â He hummed lowly as you settled into your seat. You smiled and then glanced up to him.
âYeah? You think so?â
âI know so, love. Convincing myself otherwise was absolute torture.â He confessed and you bit your lip to suppress your smile and all of the feelings you had for him boiling inside of you. He shook his head and glanced down at his hands timidly. âDonât do thatâŠâ
âWhy not?â You pressed and he looked at you again.
âI donât think I can handle it all.â He explained with a pained look in his eyes and you hummed softly. âYou already smell so divine that I want to be close in enough to breathe you in. But you biting on your lip like that makes me want to bite it for you and suck it between my own. I know youâd taste so sweet because you like chewing that bubble mint gum.â He said to you lowly and you nodded almost dumbly as your gazes remained locked on each others.
âWhat if we call it a night a little early?â You asked him quietly and he smiled.
âYeah?â He asked and you nodded and shivered when one of his hands landed on your thigh, right over your knee.Â
âText the driver.â You instructed and he nodded and pulled out his phone as you reached for your glass of wine. You chugged it down quickly as he texted the man, it was amusing to him how desperate you were to get out of there.
âDâyou wanna stop for dumpli-â
âNo.â You cut him off and he grinned before reaching for his own glass.
âI kind of donât want to be anymore buzzed for you but-â
âItâll feel nicer.â You said with a smile and he hummed.
âIt wouldâŠâ He agreed, his own smile ghosting along his lips.
âIâm still good though, are you?â
âYeah, love.â
âThen, who cares?â You asked.
âYou donât mind?â
âNot at all.â You assured him.
âI want you so fucking bad. Thatâs what were talking about, right?â He asked and you nodded.
âYeah.â You confirmed and he flashed you that charming, dimpled boyish grin that youâd missed so much.
âOkay. As long as you really donât mind-â
âI donât. I promise you. Just want to be alone with you.â You assured him and he hummed and finished his glass. âI ummm ran to some girls in the bathroom, they were so sweet to me, they were fans and I told them if they walked out behind us you could take a picture with them outside. Is that okay?â
âYeah, love.â He assured and you smiled. Moments later the driver was informing you he was pulling up and you started to head out. The girls from the bathroom followed, as you instructed, and they got their photo before you guys slipped into the SUV smoothly and headed off into the night.
You were tingling with his hand running up and down your leg, his fingers danced along your skin. His nose was buried against your neck, kissing you up and down as he inhaled the sweet scent lingering on your skin and in your hair. He was whispering to you how much he missed you and how he wished he hadnât wasted so much time in reaching out. His fingers were burning into your skin as he slid them up your thigh to a dangerous degree until you gripped around his wrist and smirked at him knowingly.Â
âWhat?â He whispered huskily, his eyes already dark and hazy with need.
âYou know whatâŠâ you hummed lowly and he grinned.
âSorry, I am trying to behave.â He assured you and then planted a kiss on your temple and lowered his hand to above your knee again. As much as you were asking him to stop, a part of you enjoyed how he pushed the limits a little bit. He clearly was dying to touch you and you were absolutely touch starved. Even just having him rubbing over your knee was causing your skin to rise with goosebumps. You couldnât arrive at your place any sooner.
When you were finally heading up your driveway you were about ready to burst at the seems. You could feel how wet you were for him, it was even dripping down between your cheeks and you knew heâd love to discover that on his own so you kept it to yourself. Once you got out of the car and thanked the driver, he took off and you keyed your way into your home. As soon as the door closed behind you he pressed you up against it and locked eyes with you.
âThis is where I need the do over.â He mumbled, lips tickling your own.
âTell me moreâŠâ You whispered and he smiled and gabbed your jaw with his right hand while he grabbed your hip with his left and he leaned in and kissed you quickly, like he had that first time and his eyes met yours with a fake apologetic look in them, it was amusing really.
âShit.â He whispered between you two; just like he had the first time, âThat was a mistake.â He hummed as he looked into your eyes and you smiled as you decided to play along and role play it with him.
âThen why did you do it?â You asked and he bit his lip, nose skimming your nose with his again.
âI canât help it. I like you. I like you so fucking much, Y/N.â He confessed softly.
âThen do it again. Like you mean it this time.â You requested. Before you knew it he grabbed your face and kissed your deeply. The hunger of it was making you weak in the knees. Your tongues tangled as you guided his hands down your waist, hips, and finally to the bottom of your skirt.
âYeah? Can I?â
âPlease.â You insisted and he slid them up under the fabric to feel your underwear-covered butt. He kneaded your cheeks in his big, warm palms, squeezing the fleshy bits fervently and feeling you up, pressing you up against his growing erection.
âI want you. I want you so fucking bad.â He breathed into your mouth.
âMe too.â You panted as you looped your arms around his neck, âShould we go up to my room?â
âAre you sure?â He asked once more through his ragged breaths. You kissed his slowly and nodded into it.
âIâm so fucking sure.â You confirmed breathlessly and he kissed you deeply again before you guided him up the stairs and into your bedroom. You threw the door back and you two immediately started undressing.
You didnât care to make it all that romantic, especially with how tipsy you both were, you guys just wanted to feel each other. So as soon as you were naked you guys fell into your bed and he kissed from your lips down your body. He didnât waste an opportunity to inhale your perfume before sinking down to your breasts and sucking at your needy nipples while his fingers rubbed precise little circles into your throbbing little clit with no preamble. You were grateful he got straight to it because you were desperate for any stimulation.
âYouâre so fucking wet fâme, baby.â He hummed before nipping at your sensitive nipple once more and you whimpered, âIs that how bad you want me?â He asked.
âYes! Yes, I want you so bad!â You whined as he pulled and sucked at your breasts with more force. You winced and whined as he sucked marks into the tender flesh of them to his satisfaction and your own. Before long you started to feel that familiar warmth swirling in the put of your stomach from his fingers on your clit. âYeah H, just like that!â You cried into the air as he swirled around the sensitive little button over and over until your vision started to blur with your approaching orgasm.Â
His lips kissed down your abdomen and finally he ended up between your legs and licked at you expertly and you mewled in satisfaction. His tongue replaced his fingers and flicked at your needy little bud while one of his fingers plunged into the depths of you, searching around for your spot. When your legs startled to tremble around his head, attempting to lock him in place he knew you were close. And just seconds later he pulled an orgasm from you with ease and snuck in another finger in, this caused you to gasp and tense up before you just melted into your bed. He was just hitting the perfect spot with his fingertips, rubbing into a part of you that was making your pussy flutter in a way it never had before and you felt another orgasm unexpectedly building up.
âYes! Yes, baby! I-Iâm coming!â You gasped and he moaned into your pussy as he tarted to suck on your clit and you began to whither around his thick, lock digits. You were covered in goosebumps as the pleasure started to roll through your body in wonderfully timed waves that allowed you to enjoy his persistent stimulation into your greedy little cunt. Even this wasnât enough. You were trembling but begging for more. âPlease, I need you. I need more.â You panted in your impaired state.
âDonât have a condom, love.â He chuckled against your smooth and sticky folds.
âJust pull out.â You panted as you raked your fingers into his hair and he groaned against you.
âDonât tempt me, baby.â He chuckled and you bit your lip and tugged him up by the hair until his eyes met yours.
âIâm serious.â You assured him as you swallowed thickly, âPlease baby, need you to fuck me. Need you to fuck me so good I forget everything except you.â You panted and he licked over his lips with a near pained expression.
â Baby-â
âPlease, H. Please, give it tâme. Want you so badly, it hurts, thatâs how bad I need you.â You begged and he groaned as he caved to your request with a deep and sloppy kiss. You knew he was painfully hard as well. As much as you wanted a taste of him, youâd much rather feel his big, thick cock spreading you open and splitting you apart.
âYâsure?â He panted as he hovered above you.
âIâm so sure, baby. So sure.â You assured him as he glanced up at you and before you knew it he was kneeling over you as you helped him out of his boxer-briefs, wrapping his thick length in your palm the moment it fell out of its constraint.
âShit, a little tighter.â He mumbled and you tightened your grip around him and stroked him over and over, up and down, keeping him at full mast. âThatâs it. Jusâlike that.â He sighed in relief. You could feel the sticky texture of his precome when youâd reach the tip and drag it down his length. After a few moment of this he lowered his hips and settled against your hot and drenched folds, immediately the wet squelching sounds of him sliding through your labia became the most prominent sound between you two. âSo fucking wet fâme. Shit, you want my cock so bad, donât you?â He panted and you nodded and whined, âSay it. Say you want my cock in that pretty little pussy and Iâll fuck you with it. Stretch open that tight little hole, make it all mine.â He breathed into the minimal space between you two.
âPlease, H.â You panted, âI need your cock. Need to feel you spreading my tight little hole open.â You pleaded, tearful eyes meeting his and he groaned and leaned down, squeezing his eyes shut as he kissed you for a few seconds before he guided himself down to your entrance and fed the tip into your weepy little hold. âOh fuck!â You gasped softly as he started to push in and he moaned as he felt you start to stretch around him.
âYou can take it. I know you can, baby.â He panted as his eyes met your wide eyes again. You nodded in confirmation for him to keep going and he pushed in further, splitting you open until your eyes just fluttered shut until he was bottoming out and sheathed fully in the warmth of your wet and velvety walls.
You swore his tip was poking into your stomach from how deep he was. Youâd never felt so full before, you were paralyzed for a few moments. He was big and thick, you swore it wiped out part of your brain when he started to grind into you. The thick, ruddy tip of his cock was prodding into your g-spot, causing your mind to blank and for your body to shiver with an abundance of pleasure. You were getting more drunk on his dick and even the way he was grinning down at you as you let out the most obscene moans was feeding your pleasure.
âShit, you take it so wellâŠfuck, love to see that tight little hole stretching wide around my cock, baby. Yâfeel so fucking goodâŠso fucking tight and wet fâme.â He groaned as he thrusted in and out, watching your little hole puckering around his thick cock. He moaned every time he pulled back, watching your creamy arousal streaking down his shaft with each deep plunge into your needy little pussy. He moaned and spat against your folds before rubbing his thumb into your clit and you shuddered.
âYes, baby! Thatâs it!â You mewled as you grabbed your breasts, pinching at your nipples, helping him draw you up the edge of your orgasm. Harry was panting, feeling his balls thwacking against your ass had his mind going fuzzy with excitement.Â
âFuckâŠfuuuuck, youâre gonna make me come so fucking hard!â He chuckled breathily, head thrown back as he delivered sharp and powerful thrusts into you, over and over, living for the feeling of his tip colliding into the depths of you.
âOh fuckâŠfuck! IâmâŠohmygodIâmcoming!â You slurred and he smiled as you started to whither beautifully. Your back arched up, nipples pointed straight towards the ceiling as you trembled and soaked his cock with a soft squirt from how deep he was getting. Your ears were ringing and you were seeing white behind your closed eyelids but he wasnât letting up until you got through the whole thing. You could hear him moaning and struggling to keep it together as he thrust in and out of you. Your walls pulsed around his cock hard and fast with your slick coated all over his thick length, causing him to lose some control over his movements. You were covered in goosebumps, shivering as you continued to come hard around him.
âShit, baby! Shit!â He gasped as he started thrusting erratically, losing the steady rhythm he had maintained until now.
âCome for me, H. Come for me, baby.â You encouraged him and he pulled out quickly and you wrapped your hand around his length and he thrust into your perfectly tight grip a few times until his breath hitched and he groaned when you felt the first spurt of his hot, milky cum right over your pubic bone. He moaned lowly as he started to unload all over your already sticky pussy. You guided him between your swollen and sensitive folds, letting him thrust against you as he spilled all over your swollen pussy with his cum. His body was trembling as you rubbed at his bicep until he minimized the space between you and caught your lips with his. âMmmâŠfuckâŠâ he hummed and you smiled
âGood?â
âSo fucking good.â He panted breathily and you pecked his lips quickly. âWas it good for you?â He asked and you nodded.
âYeah, H. More than.â You assured and he smiled before kissing you again.
âGood, love.â He whispered before resting his weight on one elbow before kissing you deep and slow. He took his time tasting you properly and only pulled away when you both needed to breathe, âJut as things shouldâve been from the start.â He hummed and you kissed his lips quickly.
âWeâre here now, yeah?â You asked quietly and he smiled and nodded.
âYeah.â He hummed, âSo, does this mean we can give us a real chance?â He asked as his fingers found yours and you nodded and smiled as he bought your hand up to his mouth and kissed it.
âIâd love that, Harry.â You assured him and he smiled brightly at you.
âThank you for giving me another chance after the stunt I pulled before.â He said more seriously.
âI like you too much not to.â You said with a small smile and he smiled and kissed you once more.Â
âWell I assure you, thereâs far more making up I plan on doingâŠâ He smirked and you bit your lip excitedly, âJust you wait.â
READ MORE OF MY WORK HERE...
----TAG LIST----
@sunshinemoonsposts @anotherdudetteinthisworld @matildasatellite @sad-avocado @sunflovverharry@cherrysulewski @daphnesutton @gurugirl @reveriehs @ottawaoutlander @jessitpwk @permanentllyharry @here4thefanfics @slutfortigertattoo @angelbabyyy99 @freedomfireflies @behindmygreyeyes @justlemmeadoreyou
#harry styles#harry styles fan fic#hs fanfic#harry styles one shot#one shot harry styles#harry styles smutty one shot#harry styles smutty fic#harry styles smutty fanfic#harry styles angsty fan fic#harry styles angsty fic#harry styles fake dating#harry styles pr stunt#fake dating harry styles#harry styles x you#harry styles reader insert#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x y/n#harry x you#harry x y/n#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fanfics#harry styles fic recs#movie star!harry#actor!harry#actoryy#harry styles smut#harry styles fluff#harry styles writing#harry styles fluffy one shot#harry styles fan fiction
808 notes
·
View notes
Text
to love someone
Summary: an angsty one shot of one too many broken promises that leads to a broken heart or two
Word count: 2.8K
Warnings: angst, angst and more angst
Harry grinned to himself as he stepped out of the recording booth.Â
âThatâs the one,â he told Jeff, his heart racing with adrenaline at the prospect of a finished album. âI swear, this oneâs the Grammy winner, Jeff,â he sighed, collapsing onto the sofa beside his manager.Â
Heâd rung Jeff and got his team together a couple hours ago when heâd been unable to get a melody out of his mind. Heâd quickly scribbled together some lyrics on a scrap piece of paper heâd found lying around his apartment and rushed to the studio he had on retainer and worked nonstop for the last three hours getting the song together. And it was perfect - not to toot his own horn.Â
âYou just might be right on that one, H,â Jeffâs smile was almost as wide as Harryâs as they congratulated each other. âWe need to celebrate properly,â he pulled out his phone and started to text people. âIâm thinking a party to commemorate the day our very own Harry Styles finished his second album.â
âAn award winning album,â Harry joked, closing his eyes and lounging back in his seat with his hands behind his head.Â
It felt like a weight had lifted off his chest. Heâd been stuck in the worst sort of writer's block for the last couple of weeks, unable to even step foot inside a studio or pick up a pen. It had made him almost unbearable to be around. But now it was done and Harry could breathe again.Â
He let a small smile perk up his lips as basked in the peacefulness that only a completed song - a perfect song - could bring him.Â
He doesnât know how long he stayed like that before the doors opened again. He sat up, a smile still fixed firmly on his face, expecting Jeff to walk through the doors. When he saw Nickâs gangly figure walking in instead his smile grew even bigger.Â
âGrimmy, I did it!â he called out, standing up to give him a hug.Â
âFinally finished the album, huh?â he lifted a fond brow, giving Harry an equally fierce and excited hug.Â
âYup,â he puffed out his chest proudly.Â
âCongrats, Haz,â Nick patted him on the shoulder, glancing around the room searching for someone.Â
âJeffâs in another room organising a party,â Harry explained, letting himself fall back into the lounge.Â
But Nick shook his head. âIâm looking for your better half,â he turned back to Harry curiously. âI thought for sure sheâd be here with you, being disgustingly cute as always,â he joked.Â
Harryâs face fell instantly. âFuck.â
âWhat?â Nick frowned at him, watching the colour drain from Harryâs face.Â
âFuck, fuck, fuck!â he cursed, scrambling around and looking for his phone. Heâd switched it off and thrown it to the side as soon as heâd entered the studio not wanting to get distracted by anything. âI fucked up,â he looked up at Nick in a panic while his phone rebooted. âWhat time is it?â
âWhat did you do?â Nick asked, the smile dropping from his own lips as he looked down at his watch and answered. âJust after 10pm.âÂ
âCan you please call her for me?â he asked, getting frustrated at how long it was taking for his phone to switch back on.Â
âCall her? Isnât she here with you?â
âI wouldnât be so fucking stressed if she was, would I?â he glared at Nick, finally able to unlock his phone and open up y/nâs contact information and hit call.Â
âYou didnât pick her up?â Nick asked, disapproval rich in his voice.Â
âI forgot!â Harry pulled the phone away from her ear and redialled her number again. âSheâs not answering,â he frowned worriedly.
âYou forgot.â Nick stated, unsure what else to say. âHow could you forget?âÂ
âI donât know! I was so focused on finishing this album. I havenât been able to write anything for weeks, you know this. It was only going to be a quick stop and then I was gonna leave and head straight to the hospital. Fuck. Sheâs still not picking up,â he looked at his phone worriedly, scrolling through all the missed texts he hadn't read and all the calls that had gone straight to voicemail because heâd had his phone off. âWhat do I do?â
Nick didnât know what to say. He felt for his friend but he also knew that he deserved to feel this bad for leaving y/n waiting for him so long in the dark.Â
âCan you call her?â Harry asked him, his green eyes wide with worry. âShe might answer you,â he pleaded and Nick didnât have it in him to deny the request. Besides, he was just as worried for her at that moment. The hospital she worked at wasnât exactly in the safest part of town and y/n always hated finishing after dark.Â
She answered him after a few rings and he let out a relieved breath until he heard her hiccup on the other end of the line. âBabe?â he asked quietly, voice soft over the phone. âYou ok?âÂ
âN-no,â she told him, honestly. âNot really.âÂ
Nick took a step away from Harry when he reached for the phone, trying to take it off him and speak to his girl. Heâd obviously heard her voice on the other end of the line and hadnât liked what heâd listened in on. He followed Nick. âGimme the phone, Grimmy,â he hissed, once again trying to reach for the mobile device. His worry was growing with every second he spent not in contact with y/n.Â
Piss off, Nick mouthed at Harry and moved further away.Â
But Harry continued to follow. How could he not? He could clearly hear his girl crying on the phone and he knew it was all his fault.Â
âHey, love,â Nick said to her softly, rolling his eyes at Harry. âHarold wants to talk to you.âÂ
âNo,â he voice was firm this time, losing the hiccups and stuttering but not the sadness. âI donât want to talk to him right now. I donât think Iâll want to talk to him for a long time.âÂ
âY/nâŠ,â Nick began, turning away from Harry when he saw his friend flinch and lowered his voice as he once again tried to move away. This time Harry kept his distance. âYou donât mean that.âÂ
âI do,â she said firmly. âI mean it very much.âÂ
âY/n, are you drunk?â Nick asked suddenly as she hiccuped again, this time a slight slur to her words.Â
âNooooo,â she extended the word and that was all the confirmation he needed.Â
âY/n, where are you?â He asked suddenly, hoping sheâd say she was at home in the apartment she and Harry shared.Â
âDunno,â she said instead, no real worry in her words.Â
âWhat do you mean, you donât know?â Nick asked her a little more urgently, glancing over at Harry. He was frowning, his chest rising and falling in quick breaths the way it always did when he was worried or stressed.Â
âGive me the phone, Nick,â Harry spoke through his teeth, holding out a hand for the phone.Â
Wait, Nick mouthed at Harry knowing if he handed over the phone now, y/n would just hang up.Â
âY/n,â he spoke gently down the phone, slowing his words into a soothing drawl. âYou need to tell me where you are and who youâre with so I can come and get you, yeah?âÂ
âNo,â she said stubbornly, and now that Nick was listening carefully, he could hear cars driving by in the background and imagined she was stumbling around outside, drunk and alone. He knew Harry was thinking the same as his fists were curled up beside him and his cheeks had turned pink. He was angry now, but his eyes gave away his worry. âI donât wanna go home. I donât wanna see Ha-him.âÂ
âAww, come on, love. Donât be like that,â Nick soothed, while Harry flinched back at y/nâs tone. She hadnât even been able to say his name. âHe got distracted finishing his album, he didnât mean anything by it. I'm sure it wonât happen again.â Â
ââAtâs what he said last time,â she said, this time her voice soft and filled with hurt. âLast time and the time before and the time before that. He always forgets everything.âÂ
âIâm sure thatâs not true,â Nick replied, doubtfully looking over at Harry.Â
âIt is true. Ask him. Heâs there with you listening to everything. Ask him where he was on our second anniversary and his birthday dinner last year that I begged to take time off work for. Ask him where he was when I graduated and what he was doing when I asked him to come to my workâs Christmas party last year. Heâs always late or doesnât show up at all. I waited for him for an hour today before I gave up and Kiera invited me out for drinks,â she paused and took a deep breath, letting out a scoff before she spoke again. âI bet he doesnât even know who that is. You know he never asks me about my day unless I ask him about his first. He doesnât ask me anything about who I spent my time with or what I did that day. All he talks about is the song he wrote and how good or bad it was, about how Mitch and Sarah did something so talented I missed out on a magical moment, about how heâs going on tour soon and didnât even ask me if I could come with him.â
âHarry?â Nick quizzed, looking over at his friend. âTell me sheâs exaggerating.âÂ
But Harry shook his head. He hadnât realised how far down his list of priorities y/n had fallen until heâd heard her drunk, broken voice over the phone. Heâd stood her up on their anniversary that year, having had a long day of meetings with his management, heâd gone straight home and fallen asleep in his suit. Heâd woken up to y/n walking into their bedroom, heels in her hands and a small, sad smile on her face. Sheâd stroked his head and asked him if heâd had a long day and heâd nodded, told her she looked nice and how he hoped sheâd had a good time at whatever event sheâd been at. Y/nâs smile had tightened and sheâd just urged him to go back to sleep and get some rest. He hadnât even realised it had been their anniversary until a few days later when Gemma had asked him what heâd gotten her.Â
Heâd seen in her eyes how hurt sheâd been when heâd finally given her a present, but it had been too late. Heâd known it then and swore heâd never mess up so badly again.Â
But he had.Â
Over and over again.Â
She was right. Heâd missed almost every single milestone in her life and sheâd never missed a single one of his.Â
Heâd been taking her for granted for so long, heâd just assumed sheâd leave her job behind and come on tour with him indefinitely, even though he knew how hard sheâd worked to get to where she was. He was so proud of her, and he didnât think she even knew that, because she was right.Â
Heâd shown up late to her graduation, hadnât met any of her colleagues or attended any of her work events, even after sheâd asked him over and over again - heâd always promised her next time, but next time never came and eventually sheâd stopped asking. He didnât even remember the last time heâd asked her about her life.Â
âFuck,â he cursed, running his hands through his hair in distress. He was worried and guilty and all he wanted was for y/n to be next to him, her cute little smile on her face as they cuddled so closely they may as well have been glued together.Â
He grabbed the phone from Nickâs hands before he could move it away again, holding it close to his ear and dancing away from his friend as he spoke down the line. âIâm so, so sorry, Sweets,â he said gently. âIâll make it up to you, I swear.â He prayed she believed him.
There was no response on the other end of the line, just some heavy breathing and in his mindâs eye, Harry could just see his girl taking deep breaths to try and keep herself from crying, to try and keep herself calm. It was something sheâd done from the very first time theyâd had a fight and heâd seen her cry. Heâd hated seeing it then and he hated hearing it even more now. Especially when he heard her sniffle quietly, as though sheâd moved the phone away to try and hide her tears from him.Â
âPlease donât cry,â he begged her anyway when still no reply had come through, but Harry was hopeful that she hadnât hung up the phone yet like sheâd promised she would. âI hate it when you cry.â He didnât mention how much worse it was when he was the reason she cried this way.Â
âI donât want to talk to you right now, Ha-Harry,â she sighed. âGive the phone ba-back to Grimmy.âÂ
âNo,â he said firmly, clenching his teeth and pacing back and forth while his other hand brushed through his hair trying to shake out some of the tension in his limbs. âNo,â he repeated more gently this time. âPlease, just tell me where you are so I can come and get you?â I just want to make sure youâre safe, he thought to himself.Â
âDonât wanna see you. Why canât you just leave me alone when I want you to? You havenât been around for weeks and now you want to pretend to care?â she asked him harshly.Â
Harry squeezed his eyes shut as his shoulders hunched inwards. Heâd had his heart broken before, but never had it felt so painful before; as though heâd never be able to put himself back together again. âI know I havenât been the best boyfriend lately. I know Iâve been forgetful and neglected you. I know. But please, Sweets, can we just talk face to face? Please, just - just let Grimmy pick you up.â
Y/n was silent on the other end of the line for a couple of heartbeats before she let out a choked sob. âYou forgot me,â she murmured. âYou didnât answer any of my phone calls or texts. You didnât even - sometimes it feels like you donât love me anymore,â she admitted. âSometimes it feels like youâre only with me because itâs easier than breaking up.âÂ
âThatâs not - no. Y/n, no. You canât believe that. You canât think that. You know - you have to know thatâs not true,â Harry implored, stopping his pacing in the middle of the room. He looked completely lost, as though just the idea of not having y/n around made him question his place in the world.Â
âPlease give the phone to Grimmy, Harry,â y/n finally said. âIâll tell him where I am. I - I think I want to stay with him tonight. Please donât come over,â she said. âI really donât want to talk anymore tonight. I have a headache and Iâm tired.âÂ
Harry took in and let out a shaky breath, handing the phone back over to Nick. âHere,â he said, walking back over to the couch dejectedly and falling into it. It was a big contrast to the way heâd collapsed into it earlier with all the joy of a completed album sitting like a crown on his head. Now his whole world was falling apart in front of him.Â
He thought of the rings heâd been looking at. He thought of all the times heâd walked past a jewellery store and itched to walk out with an engagement ring. He thought of all their friends who were having kids and how the only person he could see himself having a family with was y/n. And he thought about how everything was being snatched out from under him because heâd been so selfish the last couple of months. How heâd been growing more and more selfish over the last year of their relationship.Â
He had to fix this.Â
He didnât know how, but he would fix this.Â
âIâm gonna go get her,â Nick spoke softly, tapping Harry on the shoulder. âYou should get home and get some rest too,â he told him.Â
âIâm going to fix this,â Harry said to Nick, desperation thick in his words.
âI know you will, mate. I know you will,â Nick ruffled his hair fondly and walked out the room, leaving Harry sitting dejectedly on the couch.Â
-
Hellooooo, please let me know what ya'll think. I would LOVE some feedback <3
My requests are also open
#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fiction#harry#harry styles angst#angst#harry angst#one direction#harry styles fic#harry styles imagine#harry styles one shot#harry imagine#harry one shot#1dff
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
NEED YOU TO WRITE A JEALOUS/Angsty one for the picture of whoever is applying moisturiser to Harry. Your angst is soooooo good
PS: Iâm OBSESSED with your work
Business or Pleasure?
read my other works here!
pairing: Harry Styles x plus size reader
word count: 2.3k
summary: you return to Love on Tour after an extended break, but after your last interaction, you come back to an awkward situation with Harry.
a/n: first of all, thank you so much for sending in this request, and for your kind words! when i first saw it, i wasn't really sure how to make angst out of it, but i think i figured it out pretty well.
i did take some artistic liberties with timelines here, i know the outfits and tour dates don't line up, but i had to suspend disbelief a little to make the story work out. sorry, don't come for me!
**Hey, so let's try this again! The first time I posted it was answering the wrong ask. That one will still be done snd posted. I promise!**
tags: @allthelovehes @ameerakane20 @ash-craze @bethanysnow @blue-ballad @blueraspberryreader @brightlightsinlife @creativelyeva @cute-as-ducks420 @deannaard @fanficismydrug @gem1712 @golden-hoax @gothmingguk @groovychaosavenue @hillzrry @iceebabies @indierockgirrl @jerseygirlinca @jng4kook @jooniesbabie @kaverichauhan @laurxn-robinson @lexiecamposv @mrs-anna-styles211994 @n0vaj3an @potterheadandsherlocked @rach2699 @ravenclawdirectioner @stylesfeverr @superchrystaldrug @tenaciousperfectionunknown @tiaamberxx @thechaoticjoy @theekyliepage @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @youknowwhaaat
As your car traveled through the streets of Glasgow, you were unable to really take in the stunning scenery around you. You were too busy worrying about what the day had in store for you, panicking about being face to face with him again.Â
Love on Tour had been on break since November, so you hadnât seen Harry in nearly seven months. And the last time you did see him, things got complicated. After the last show, Harry had rented out a local bar to throw what he deemed the âLove on Tour holiday partyâ. Since everyone would be going their separate ways for a bit, he wanted to give this family he had formed a chance to celebrate together.Â
As with most holiday parties, the alcohol was flowing rather freely, and everyone was getting loose and having a good time. You noticed that as the night went on, Harry was by your side more and more, his jokes getting slightly more flirty and his touches lingering just a little longer than they usually would. You two had developed a pretty flirty relationship, but he was like that with everyone, so you didnât think much of it.
Until you found yourselves in a secluded corner of the bar with his tongue down your throat.Â
Sure, it was something you had thought about for a while. Harry was one of the most gorgeous people you had ever seen, and to top it off he was so kind, and funny. He was technically your boss, but you would never know it. He treated you like his equal, his friend. Developing a crush on him was inevitable. But you had never expected anything to happen. Then it did, and you hadnât heard from him since.Â
At some point, Harry had gotten pulled away from you to do shots with the band, and you had an early flight the next morning. So you decided to slip out while he was distracted, it would allow you to put off the awkward conversation, at least for a little while.Â
You had expected a call or text, anything from him the next day, but you didnât. You hadnât heard from him once since that night. You had seen him making appearances and doing interviews, which meant that he had hired someone else for his glam during the break, that hurt. He had regretted that night so much that he didnât even want to work with you.Â
You were contracted for the entirety of his tour, so you knew you would have to go back. When you signed on for the tour, you were excited to see the world, but now you were dreading every second you had to spend with Harry pretending that nothing had happened between the two of you. Pretending that you werenât heartbroken.Â
âMiss?â The driverâs voice brought you out of your thoughts, and you realized that you had arrived.
You thanked the driver as he handed you your bags and made your way through the backstage area. As you walked down the hall, you stopped to say hi and caught up quickly with people youâd run into, sharing quick stories about your break and promising to catch up soon. You found your way to the glam room, and took your time setting everything, partially because of how particular you were, but more than that, you wanted to kill as much time as you could so you didnât have to go out to the common areas and socialize. You knew heâd be there, and you didnât want to face him.Â
Once things were set up, you killed time alone in your space, scrolling through your phone. You heard voices coming down the hallway, one of them was unmistakable. You put your phone down and took a deep breath to prepare yourself. As he walked through the door, you plastered your best fake smile on.Â
Harry saw you, and you noticed his expression falter slightly, but he quickly corrected it. âHey Y/N, welcome back.â He said, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into a quick side hug. It was significantly shorter than your past hugs, but it was long enough for his scent to overtake your senses.Â
âThanks,â you mumble as you step back, signaling for him to take a seat. You and Jeff say your hellos, and you make your way to your kit. The sooner you got started, the sooner youâd be finished, and youâd be able to get some distance from Harry.Â
Jeff stayed by Harryâs side while he was in your chair. No doubt a calculated measure by Harry to make sure you werenât left alone. As grateful as you were for that, you were also annoyed. He was the one that kissed you, and he wasnât even man enough to reject you and apologize.Â
âYouâre all set.â You said once you were finished. You noticed Harry flinch slightly at your tone. You didnât mean for your words to come out so stern, but you would only be able to hold back your emotions for so much longer.Â
âOh⊠okay, thanks Y/N.â Harry said cautiously as he got out of the chair, walking out of the room with Jeff.Â
Once they were gone, you sat down into the chair Harry had just been in and dropped your face into your hands. The rest of this tour was going to be a nightmare.Â
âY/N, we need you backstage real quick.â Jeff sticks his head in the door only a couple of minutes before showtime. âAnd grab that lotion.âÂ
You furrow your brow, but comply. Grabbing the bottle and following Jeff down the hall. You find Harry standing shirtless amongst the hustle and bustle of pre-show preparations.Â
âUmâŠâ You got Harryâs attention and held up the bottle. âJeff asked for this?âÂ
âOh, right. I um⊠wellâŠâ He gestures to his bare torso. âI can do it ifââ
âNo no,â you interrupt him. âItâs fine, itâs my job.â You pump some lotion into your hand and set the bottle down. You rub your hands together and step up to Harry, taking a deep breath to center yourself before placing your hands on his chest and rubbing the lotion in.Â
As your hands run along his body, your mind flashes back to that night. Your hands on his, his on you, your tongues entwined. You shake off the thoughts.
âAre you okay?â Harry asks, you look up to meet his concerned, almost sad gaze.Â
âYeah, Iâm fine.â You lie. Your eyes remain locked on each other, Harry opens his mouth to say something.Â
âThe internet is going to go nuts for this!â You both snap your attention over to Lloyd, who was snapping pictures of your interaction.Â
You feel your face heat up and look down, trying to hide your blush from Harry. You hurry to finish applying the lotion. âAll set,â you finally say, unable to look up at him. He thanks you as youâre scurrying away, rushing back to your area.Â
All you wanted to do was go back to the hotel and hide, but you knew youâd need to stay for a few touch ups before the encore. So you spent the entirety of the show sitting alone in the hair and makeup area lost in your thoughts, wondering how you were going to make it through.Â
You kept an eye on the show through the monitor, making your way to the backstage area as he was finishing up his final song before the encore. He rushed over to you, breathing heavy, and adrenaline running high. You made some quick adjustments to his hair, and handed him a towel so he could wipe down a bit before going back out there, avoiding his gaze the whole time.Â
He thanks you quietly before he returns to the stage, and you return to your space. While heâs finishing the show, you pack your things, hoping to get out of there and back to the hotel before heâs off stage. As you're closing up your case, youâre startled by a knock at the door. You look up and silently curse yourself for not moving faster when you see Harry standing in front of you. His chest rising and falling rapidly, still catching his breath, his body glistening, a combination of sweat and the lotion you had applied earlier. He was the last person you wanted to see, but you couldnât look away.Â
âHi,â he breaks the silence. âCan we talk for a minute?âÂ
âI canât, my car is waiting. Iâve gotta get back to the hotel.â You pick up your case and move closer to him, but he refuses to move from the doorway.Â
âPlease,â he pleads with you. You look up and see determination in his eyes. Heâs not going to let you go without talking. You relent, dropping your case by the door and signaling for him to come in. âYouâre not going to pull some fancy footwork and run past me if I move away from the door?â
You shake your head, you know heâs making a joke, but you canât bring yourself to laugh. You move further into the room, hopping up to take a seat on the counter. âIâm here.âÂ
Harry takes a seat, running a hand through his hair as he tries to form the words. âI think I owe you an apology for the last time I saw you.â You remain silent, hoping he continues. âI was drunk, I crossed a line that I shouldnât have, it wasnât professional.âÂ
âItâs okay, we were both drunk.â You say, your feet swinging back and forth.Â
âThe last thing I wanted to do was screw up what we had,â he confessed.
âItâs fine, like you said, you were drunk. It didnât mean anything.âÂ
Harry looked up at you, his brows furrowed. âI said I was drunk Y/N, not that it didnât mean anything.âÂ
Your eyes went wide at his words. âI⊠what?â Before he could continue. âI just assumed it was a dunk fling or whatever.âÂ
âHave you ever heard the phrase âdrunken words are sober thoughtsâ?â You nod, trying to put the puzzle together. âWell in this case, itâs drunken actions.â He stood from his seat, stepping closer to you. âIâve been wanting to kiss you for a long time. I had liquid courage running through me that night, I knew I wasnât going to see you for a while, and you looked so beautiful, and you smiled at me like that, and I just couldnât help myself.âÂ
âOh,â you said softly, it was the only thing you could manage to get out.Â
âAfter the guys pulled me away, I tried to find you. I wanted to lay everything out, tell you how I felt, but you left.â He looked down, but you could see the pain in his eyes before they dropped. âWe had kissed, it was this amazing kiss, and then you just left without saying goodbye. I realized I had fucked up.âÂ
âI didnât, thatâs not why I left, IâŠâ You were about to apologize for leaving, but he could have just as easily called you. âWhy didnât you just call? Text? Anything?âÂ
âI felt so bad. I didnât know what to say. The more time had passed, the harder it got. And before I knew it, it had been seven months.â He saw the tears welling in your eyes, and his heart sank. âI missed you so much during the break, but I miss you more now. Youâre right in front of me, but it feels like youâre a million miles away.â
âIâm right here, Harry.âÂ
âYouâre not though, weâve barely said anything to each other, and thereâs this awkwardness between us. I hate it.â His voice starts raising, frustration growing in his tone. âIt was one of the best kisses of my life, but if I could go back in time and stop it from happening so that we could be us again, I would.âÂ
âHarry?â He looks up at you and you see a vulnerability in his eyes that youâd never seen before. âI wanted that kiss too. It meant so much to me.âÂ
âBut⊠but you just leftâŠâ
âI had an early flight, and I didnât want to pull you away because you felt like you needed to let me down easy. I just assumed Iâd hear from you the next day, hungover and apologize. But I never did.âÂ
Harry stepped in between your legs, his hand coming up and brushing across your cheek. âYouâve wanted to kiss me too?â Your breath hitched from how close he was, all you could do was nod. He smirked at your nerves, relief washing over him. âYou know, when you were putting that lotion on earlier, when your hands were all over me,â his face moved closer, his lips just a breath away from yours. âYou were driving me crazy.âÂ
You couldnât contain yourself, his husky tone, his breath against your face, you closed the distance and kissed him. He groaned against your lips as his hands rested on your thighs, squeezing gently. This kiss was different than the last, that first kiss was sloppy, desperate. This time, it was slower, more deliberate.Â
When you finally separated, you were both breathless, silly grins plastered on your faces. âSo, what now?â You ask, unsure about where this leaves you.Â
âWell,â Harry sighs, his thumbs running back and forth over your thighs. âWe definitely still have stuff to talk about, but Iâm hoping it leads to a lot more of that.â He smiled, kissing the tip of your nose.Â
âI have a feeling it will.â You smirk, pulling him in for another kiss.Â
#harry styles#harry styles x reader#harry styles x fem!reader#harry styles x plus size reader#harry styles headcanon#harry styles angst#harry's house#love on tour#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fan fiction#harry edward styles#harry styles imagine#harry styles one shot#harry styles blurb#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n#harry styles fic
461 notes
·
View notes
Text
INTERESTING⊠â one shot.
pairing: harry styles x reader
MASTERLIST.
summary: emotions get in the way of award presenting.
warnings: kinda angsty?
NOTE: i just love petty 2000s drama⊠like the christina/eminent beef was great. obviously didnât want this to be a copy paste, so i changed up the situations bit. hope you enjoy!!! (btw this is the edit that inspired me)
[ word count: 1,1k+ ]
You were usually pretty calm when it came to award shows, especially when presenting them. There was no pressure, no disappointments, and most of the time you got to meet a celebrity you wouldn't usually approach or give one to a friend.
You were now backstage, waiting for your name to be called on stage to present âSong Of The Yearâ for the BRIT Awards. Which felt like a full circle kind of moment since last year you had received the award, and now had the honour to give it to someone else. But there was one factor that made you slightly nervous; your ex boyfriend is a nominee.
Now, the chances of him winning were one in nine, but As It Was had already won a Grammy for the same category, so really, the odds were not in your favour. You wanted to believe the people at the BRITs wouldn't do that to you, or even your own manager, but luck didn't tend to bend to your will,
When you were finally called on stage, you grabbed the envelope containing who the winner was, and resisted the temptation to peek at it. You lightly grabbed the long fabric of your dress, not wanting to trip because of it, and made your way to the podium.
âHello, BRITs!â You smiled at the audience, the microphone away from your face so that your laugh wasnât audible, âLast year I was up here, not giving away, but receiving this award. It was a very happy moment for me, and I hope that it is too for whoever wins this award. This is Song Of The Year, here are the nominees!â
You turned your head to the big screen, as each nominee was displayed you couldn't help but silently hope in your head that Harry didnât win. Not because he didn't deserve it, no, in fact he was probably the most worthy of the award. But because you couldn't bear that being your first interaction after months of no contact.Â
âAnd the BRIT award for Song Of The Year goes toâŠâ You carefully held the mic so you could open the envelope.Â
The moment you saw who had won, a frown appeared on your brows, âHaha⊠InterestingâŠâ Was what you had muttered under your breath, cursing in your head when you realised it had been picked up by the microphone.Â
You plastered the worldâs most fakest smile, and through gritted teeth, shouted out the winner, âAs It was, Harry Styles!â
You didn't even clap when you placed down the mic on the podium, leaving it for Harry to pick up and use. You held the envelope in front of your body, hands clasped on the award, as you waited for Harry to get on stage. You couldn't actually leave until after he received his award, but you wanted to put the most amount of distance between you.
Your grip tightened just a little bit more when you saw Harry walking up the stairs to the stage, your knuckles started to turn white, but you paid no mind to them. Seeing him so close, after so much time, stung more than it should have.
Your eyes connected, and it suddenly felt like a contest on who would look away first. You made no move to step forward, letting him come to you. When he finally reached you, you gave him his award like it had the plague on it. You knew it was petty, you knew you would get a scolding for acting this way, and you didn't give a shit.Â
For a second, you thought he was going for a kiss on the cheek. In fact, you would bet the thought had crossed his mind. But, as if reminding himself of who was standing before him, he didn't. You were thankful he did not because you didn't know how you would have reacted if he had.Â
âHello! Um, this album and this songâŠâ He had started his speech, but you tuned him out. You just wanted to get the hell out of there, ready for the mouthful you were about to give both your manager and whoever decided it was a great idea to have you present the award.
When he finally finished his speech, you almost bolted away from the stage. You sucked in harsh breaths, the cool facade you had tried maintaining, quickly dropped the moment you were backstage. You swore that his eyes drifted to you when he finished speaking, but your face was on some still spot where you could drift away.Â
You took your earpiece out with a little too much force, almost taking out your earring in the process too. You were ready to curse out someone when you heard your name being called out, by the one person you didnât want to hear it from.
Your steps didnât falter, ignoring the staff's stares, you made your way towards your team. You suddenly came to an abrupt stop when your arm was grabbed by Harry, who spun you around.
âCome on, Y/N, look at me.â You had to resist the urge to roll your eyes at his tone, his voice was so soft and sweet it almost made you want to hug him.
You lifted your eyes from the floor to him, immediately noticing the little smile on his lips. You mentally cursed yourself for even looking at his lips.Â
âWhat, Harry?â You bit out, watching his smile falter at the abrasiveness in your words.
âI⊠It was nice seeing you again.â He carefully said, as if weary of how you would react.
âOh, was it?â
âI wouldâve liked seeing you in another context, but, yes, it was.âÂ
You stood in front of him silently for a few seconds, trying to come up with an answer. All that came were things you definitely couldn't say, and others that were too polite.
âWish I could say the same.â Harryâs wince at your response was anything but satisfying, it only made the pit at the bottom of your stomach grow. You gulped down the knot in your throat and stepped out of his grip, watching as his hand awkwardly fell by his side.
âLook could we maybeââ His words were cut off by your hand in the air, shaking your head at him.
âCongrats on your award, Harry.â The moment you said those words you turned around and walked away. It was easier to ignore the problem than to face it, especially at an award show. Even when you felt his piercing gaze on your back, your feet continued moving along. It was easier said than done, but you hoped you didn't cross paths with Harry anytime soon.Â
#*à©â©àŒ my works !#harry styles#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x reader#harry styles x actress!yn#harry styles x singer!reader#harry styles x you#brit awards#brits 2023#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles angst#harry angst#harry x you#harry x reader#harry fic#harry fanfic#harry styles headcanon#harry styles one shot#harry one shot#harrys house
603 notes
·
View notes
Note
Can you do a one shot inspired by The Bomb by Florence and the Machine?
Hi anon! I hope you like this. You didnât say about who so i just used harry since that was the only person i had written for when you requested this
 It's very angsty but that is my specialty. Sad girls rise up! Sorry if this strays from the song a little. My mind was all over the place because the song confused me a little.
Based off of : The Bomb by Florence and The Machine ANDDD Lead Me On by Nate Poshkus!!!
The Bomb// h.s.
Everyone was right. I knew being with Harry would be no easy feat, but I didnât expect it to hurt me this bad. I was never gonna be her. I was never gonna be his love, his forever, none of that.Â
Unavailability was his entire brand. A touring popstar who could have whoever he wanted, I shouldâve known that it wasnât me. Iâve blown apart my life for him.
I had woken up to a flood of text messages from my best friend Anna. One stuck out to me the most.
âdonât open twitter.â she wrote.
It was ominous, but I trusted her. Iâve never been a good listener, so naturally I opened it and went right to my trending bar.
âPopstar Harry Styles spotted with Ex Lover Olivia Wilde! Sparking Dating rumors!â
I froze. I was surprised, but at the same time I wasnât. I was never special, I wasnât too blind for that. But God, he could at least fake it for a little longer.Â
This couldâve been the best thing thatâs ever happened to us, until he decided not to do it. I was free to love him but he didnât want me. I sat my phone down and thought about all the time Harry had spent making me feel like I meant something to him. All of the surprise candle lit dinners, last minute vacations, little love letters left in the bathroom before he went to the studio.
I mean, we were never âdatingâ, but he damn near acted like we were. Strangers to friends, friends to lovers, lovers to strangers but whoâs fucking surprised.Â
I wanted to call him so bad.I knew if he saw me like this he would come back, tell me he didnât want her, and I would fall for it.
I forced myself out of bed, and walked to the bathroom. As I was brushing my teeth I heard my phone buzz. I ignored it but then it happened again, and again, and again.
âharry- 3 missed callsâ
âharry: i swear i wouldnât do this to you, you know that.â
I didnât have a reason to respond. I knew I would get nothing out of it and he would just find another excuse to make his way over to my apartment, and into my bed, and head, and heart.
It wasnât cheating, we didnât belong to eachother. But God, I didnât deserve to be lied to and used like that. I would have never done this to him and he knows that
A couple minutes went by of me staring at my phone, his texts. I wanted this to all be wrong so badly. Just a daydream, a big joke.
âlose my number.â is all I said in response.
I decided to not waste my day, so I hopped in the shower. Once I got out, I checked my phone again. Of course he had more to say.
âharry: please let me talk to you, it was all real y/n, all of my feelings for youâ
âi donât believe anything you say anymore. you were never mine and i shoudlâve ran the moment i realized that.â i wrote.
He wass trying to reel me back in. What we had was so beautiful but I should have known it was fake. I was never enough, he was never over her.
I sat my phone down on my night stand as I crawled back into bed. I was so stupid, so fucking stupid. Maybe I should give him a chance to explain himself. Maybe it was for publicity for his new album. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.
I woke up a few hours later after crying myself to sleep over the situation. I feel peace approaching, or maybe it was Harry, because about two seconds after that unfamiliar feeling, I got another text from the boy I missed so much.
âharry: canât stop thinkin ab ya, just need one chance to explain it all, thatâs it my love,â
I responded with âyou know where to find me.â It was up to him whether he wanted to right his wrongs.
âharry: coming.â
I was gonna let him speak his peace but I kmew for sure there was know way we were going to recover from this. But I needed to be fair because again, all of my information was from twitter.Â
Iâm playing devil's advocate for a boy who wouldnât do the same, a boy who got off to leading me on.
I was pulled out of my conflicting thoughts by a final buzz from my phone.
âharry: hereâ
â-----
Sorry this was extra short omg, I like it though. My bf actually helped me write it a lil :) we love a supportive bf.
Anywayssss
Hope you like it, you guys mean the world to me i canât say thank you enough for the love on mu joe and other harry oneshots.
Would yall want me to make a post just introducing something about me? If not yall can say no lol.
Part 2?????
Send requests here!
-all the love, kitt.
#harry styles imagine#harry styles angst#harry styles one shot#harry styles#angst imagine#oneshot#the bomb#florence and the machine#request#harry x reader
56 notes
·
View notes