#tw implied/presumed suicide

[ghost-bxrd]

Vanished?

“What are you saying?”

There’s static in Bruce’s ears, oppressive and growing louder by the second. His tongue feels numb. His hands are tingling. It feels like the moment before a hurricane is scheduled to rip him apart atom by atom; one step left from dread, course correcting.

“If you failed me like you failed him- I can understand why he would choose to go in anyways.”

“He wouldn’t.”

He wouldn’t. Jason wouldn’t have. No matter how badly Bruce screwed this up— his boy, his precious child, was always so full of life. He would have never- he would never choose—

“You’re a hypocrite, Bruce. Of course he would have. You may as well have kicked him out when you accused him of murder. Obviously, death was the kinder alternative to returning to the streets.”

No. No.

— sneak peak of “Vanished” (an upcoming fic)

[bunbitti]

dear player

:)

~1k words

tw: mention of trauma, depression, implied suicidal ideation, etc. in both reader and Aventurine, unhealthy coping mechanisms/escape from reality

Ratio had visited the Astral Express several times by now. It was always a nice way to take a break from being surrounded by idiots. Yes, it was his job to educate his students and teach people the value of knowledge, but he didn’t have to be around them all the time, did he? Surely not. 

The company of the Astral Express crew was often pleasant, and looking through their data bank whenever he visited to check its updates was a good way to spend the time. 

And then there was you. Well, technically it was some mix of you and the Trailblazer; he could tell the choices you had made during the course of the travels of the Express had impacted the Trailblazer’s character development and personality, and hearing your voice in the back of his head when you were doing dailies and grinding was one of the main ways he’d figured out that his universe (well, the universe of everyone who existed in the same physical plane as him, at least) was a mere video game in yours. 

It was initially rather disheartening to think that his existence could be reduced to such a thing, but he supposed that after hearing your self-deprecating thoughts about yourself, he might as well continue on with his life and keep someone happy and distracted from the thoughts for at least a little while. The universe wouldn't stop for him just because he'd learned this information. He could tell when you’d logged on and off by the Trailblazer’s behavior, but lately it was getting harder to tell whether you were making them walk at him and circle around him like a puppy or if they’d ended up getting this attached to him on their own. 

And he noticed that lately, whenever he visited, you’d take the phone out and take pictures of him from a rather short distance. Even if they turned out to be similar to the ones you’d taken from last time. And your voice in the back of his head (and, he presumed, the back of everyone else’s head when you were in close physical proximity or using them on your teams) had repeated several times that you’d leveled him to max because you loved him. And Aventurine, apparently; they were the only two who had their levels, lightcones, traces, and relics maxed out (though the lightcones weren’t their signature ones, but he could understand, since you never seemed to spend money on the game and getting the characters themselves was the priority), and you almost always put him and the gambler on the same team.

It was a funny thing, supposedly being loved by a person who couldn’t possibly know enough about him to really mean it, even if you'd gathered his character lore from leveling him up. He knew his personality was often abrasive, after all. You probably only liked him because of his looks and voice and because he was fictional; he’d learned enough from what you said about yourself to know you really were intelligent and talented (perhaps not a genius, but the vast majority of people weren't), but had the misfortune of trauma and burnout and a dozen other factors that kept you lost and unable to find your way and led you to be attached to people who weren't real to you. If he were your professor, he’d likely have to be gentler on someone so fragile. He could tell you were the kind of person who was weak to criticism but would only cry about your self-perceived worthlessness once you were alone in your room. 

The way you talked about Aventurine, too.. it was concerning. You had the same image of yourself as Aventurine had of himself. Sure, you weren’t a murderer nor did you gamble with money or your own life like that Avgin man, but ideally neither of you should be thinking of yourselves as losers, frauds, failures, useless, selfish, or pointless. But you’d gotten attached to the traumatized man because you felt like him, Ratio supposed. 

He later realized that a possible reason you liked him was because you never felt good enough. He wasn't good enough for Nous (though he'd later rejected the very concept of desiring that thing's acknowledgement) and often criticized himself for not doing things impossibly better and faster, and you felt inadequate for yourself, your family, and the rest of the world, no matter what you did or didn't do.

Over time, since he never learned your real name, and supposed your username wasn’t your real one (nobody with any sense of intelligence reveals their names like that in a game, especially one with player-to-player interactions, after all), he’d mentally given you a nickname similar to the one he’d given to Aventurine —

Dear player. 

He’d never admit that he’d grown a bit fond of you, since it was pointless to have that kind of attachment to someone he would logically never be able to meet, but he excused it as the same sense of pity he felt for his blond traumatized colleague. 

It wasn't just pity.

He wanted you to stay alive just as he'd beseeched Aventurine to stay alive with his 'medicine' scroll.

He figured he should keep visiting more often to make you happy, even though you had already received the ten stellar jades as a gift for hosting him on the Express so many times, even though it was likely unhealthy for you to be relying on someone who didn't exist to survive. He’d asked what you and/or the Trailblazer wanted in exchange for letting him visit, and heard you in his mind saying, “a hug, please, I want a hug” before begrudgingly choosing the ‘free life coaching’ option. 

Alas, even though it wasn’t in his nature to be so physically affectionate in public (Himeko and Welt Yang were always present in the main cabin, after all, and oddly enough you/the Trailblazer.. didn’t seem to have your own room on the Express??), he would’ve given you that hug. It sounded like you needed it. But both of you had to settle for the Trailblazer running into some invisible game-barrier around him and every other person in the game to get as close as you could. 

[blazingmicah-wc]

SPOILERS FOR THE WORLDS END

TW FOR FICTIONAL ATTEMPTED SUICIDE

just watched the world's end for the first time (numero tres of the cornetto trilogy) and it was rly cool. at first i thought it was gonna be outdated and lame (martin freeman saying wtf, the whole thing with the disabled toilets) but it ended up being a riot to watch. one thing i didn't enjoy was the fact that they were too afraid to say fag when talking about ciggies. cowards.

im pretty sure it's my least favourite out of the three but it's extremely close between this and shaun of the dead for second place.

one thing i didn't expect was gary to be suicidal. near the end, i did theorise that he was going to die soon (of presumably cancer) and wanted one last hurrah before he kicked it. plus i believed that the reason he refused to show his arms to his friends was because they showed signs of medical treatment. i did in fact think he was cutting himself for a short moment but i just assumed i was projecting (as i do) . when he was fighting with andrew and he pulled his sleeves down it was very distressing to see the bandages on his arms but also quite validating at the same time. for it to be revealed that the male protagonist of a 2013 apocalypse movie had one cut his own wrists was a big surprise. i like that aspect to his character.

it does a great job of explaining all of his behaviour up until that point. at the end, gary says that "they told him when to go to bed", so i assume after his attempt he was placed on suicide watch or put in an institution. it is implied that he escaped this institution when he is stopped by the police officer for a broken brake light and doesn't give him his own name, knowing that people will be looking for him.

its awesome to see a cutting suicidal character who isn't played for a joke or laughed at, who isn't called a dramatic teenage girl.

now excuse me. I'm going to hide in my room for the next 2 weeks and watch this movie on repeat while kicking my feet on the bed. the thing with edgar wright movies is that they're always better the second time. <3333

[raayllum]

Re these prior musings / promises but speculation regarding the secret scene possibly being Claudia murdering Sir Sparklepuff got me wondering, so... let's talk about Rayla, Claudia, and symbolic to non symbolic notions of suicide.

Tw because this will mention / does talk about cannibalism, suicidal ideation, and suicide in passing. If you're not comfortable reading about those things in more detail but you still want the gist of this meta, scroll down to the TLDR that will have a couple sentence summary of the idea.

With that out of the way, let's get into it.

For a while now, I've been interested in the metaphorical mechanics regarding Rayla murdering Viren in 3x09. As we all know (even if Aaravos 'pretends' otherwise in 4x04), Rayla did successfully kill the man, retroactively achieving her earlier mission of killing a king of Katolis because he was responsible for both the death of the Dragon King and because he'd killed Zym (which Viren was in the process of doing).

However, Rayla kills Viren in the most Rayla-y of ways, as she does so without her assassin blades, while acting as the Last Dragonguard, and in a way that means killing Viren is not just an act of protection or revenge, but also something that meant sacrificing (killing) herself.

And this felt notable to me, since unlike either of the brothers, Rayla hasn't killed anyone else. Ezran would've burned people alive with dragon fire if not for immunity spell, and Callum blasted plenty of people off the side of the mountain and presumably to the Storm Spire. But Viren was the sole blood on Rayla's hands, even if the narrative has Claudia (and we'll get to her in a minute) resurrect him. Her one act of murder being something that also, as stated, required her to sacrifice her whole person, and is also in line with her assassin training: "I am already dead."

When Rayla rebuttals Ezran's assertion that "[You spared him] because you knew he was a person, just like you," you can read Rayla's assertion of "That shouldn't have mattered, I had a job to do," solely as her talking about the guard's personhood... but you can also read it, I think, as her dehumanizing her own personhood. She is a weapon and he is the target and that's all that should've mattered.

We can tether this thread all the way up to season four with Rayla's refusal to murder Callum, but put a pin in that, cause now I want to talk about Claudia.

Much like we can read Rayla's attempted dehumanization as twofold, I also think we can read Sir Sparklepuff's mimicry of Claudia as something with multiple layers. The first and likely most obvious one of course is that Sir Sparklepuff mimicking Claudia in earlier episodes is to setup later that he is her (magical, technical?) half-brother and one of Viren's children. Kind of like how we had Ezran and Zym mimicking each other in mid-S2 to set up their mental/emotional bond later that season.

And this implied connection likewise loops back around in the finale when Viren simultaneously refuses to sacrifice Sir Sparklepuff for his own survival while also lamenting that he's led (sacrificed?) his own daughter down a dark path (and perhaps regret that he sacrificed his son once, too).

Arc 2 has also ramped up Claudia's willingness to destroy herself further for the "good of her family" (and her own desires that often steamroll over theirs) in having her take on more and more animalistic forms when doing dark magic, blurring the lines between her de-personalization of magical creatures and also herself.

This reflects dark magic's cannibalism motif quite well, as Claudia carries on metaphorically cannibalizing her own body throughout most of s4 and especially s5: refusing to rest from Terry, using her own blood in spells, etc.

This all reinforces that while dehumanization was something Rayla struggled with for both her target(s) and to a lesser degree herself, it's something that Claudia has only continually excelled at. And we know, thanks to S4 with Rayla walking away from the drake in the woods ("We can't save everyone") that she's gotten better at it as well.

But what does this all have to do with symbolic suicide? Well...

If the secret scene is what a good deal of us have been speculating / that Claudia is covered in Sir Sparklepuff's blood in the teaser trailer, then: if Sir Sparklepuff is a stand in for Viren's innocent, made to be an asset, processing learned behaviour child - if he is a stand in for Claudia - then through killing him, Claudia is symbolically killing herself.

Now, there's no doubt in my mind that Claudia isn't viewing things that way, but we also know just how much she's willing to ruin herself for the people around her first hand, and how persistent that characterization has been: "Are you okay?" "You're going to be better now. That's all that matters." While Claudia also has some selfish, twisted self-preservation in there as well (she cannot or will not cope with the fracturing of her family, even when she really probably should), the self-destructive tendency that's led to her S6 spiral is well established.

This attitude of "it doesn't matter what happens to me, so long as other people are okay/safe" is something we see for many characters, of course, but I think is best embodied in Rayla's continual, emphasized thread of sacrifice / her tendency towards subtle but consistent passive suicidal ideation regarding her own safety and her own wants/desires.

R: Don't worry about my hand. The egg is all that matters. / It doesn't matter what happens to me. / I have to go after [Viren]. / It's agonizing, but I know our mission comes first.

This is important regarding her and Callum in regards to the possession plot line. As long as Callum is Callum (not possessed, or she has reason to believe he's still in there), Rayla likely won't be able to bring herself to kill him. This is from an emotional / characterization standpoint, of course, but from a thematic standpoint, we can see where it stems from Callum and Rayla continually being each other's main connection to their sense of identity.

As long as Callum is Callum ("you're the destiny is a book you write yourself guy"), he's worth saving. As long as Callum is Callum, she can be Rayla ("Rayla's brave. She saves people" / "Rayla. My name is Rayla, and I'm going home"). As long as she's Rayla, he can be Callum. Because if Callum isn't Callum, then he's dead, and if he's dead, she can kill him. And if Rayla kills him, if Callum is dead, then she won't be Rayla anymore. Because to literally kill Callum would be to simultaneously symbolically/emotionally kill herself.

Now of course, some of this is already differing wildly.

If Claudia is going to kill Sir Sparklepuff, it makes the most sense for it to have already come to pass in 6x01, whereas Callum and Rayla's plot line would only come later on in the season. Claudia will presumably succeed at her symbolic suicide, but that doesn't mean she's not still worth saving / unable to be saved in the future (perhaps by her family). Rayla will probably fail at her symbolic suicide and succeed at sparing herself through sparing/saving Callum.

However, it's an interesting symbolic thread and potential foil contrast, and I thought it was worth pointing out. I hope you think so too!

TLDR below:

Due to Claudia's parallels to Sir Sparklepuff, if she kills him it holds a layer of her symbolically killing herself. In contrast, Rayla's symbolic suicide would be in killing Callum, as that would destroy her own sense of identity/life. For Claudia, this means likely being saved later by her family, and for Rayla, this means likely sparing Callum and herself simultaneously, thereby saving and sparing both of them.

[rolanpilled]

Rolan, and how he deals with grief

Here's a Rolan fact I actually forgot until now.

BG3 spoilers under cut + TW for suicide

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If both Rolan and ONE of his siblings die, it is implied in the script that the remaining sibling commits suicide by walking into the shadow curse -

++++++

Player: I did what I could to save him. (after Rolan dies)

Lia: Doesn't matter, does it? They're gone.

Lia: Everyone I've ever loved is dead. I did this - I failed them. [devnote: her grief is starting to overwhelm her, she blames herself and thinks she's worthless]

Lia: You won't see me again. [devnote: she's planning to walk into the cursed darkness to die - alone]

-

Player: He died as he lived - stupidly.

Cal: Rolan could be stubborn, but he was never malicious. Not like you. [devnote: despite his grief, he feels pity for the player]

Cal: Everyone I've ever loved is dead. I have nothing. [devnote: shellshocked, unable to process what happened]

Cal: You won't see me again. [devnote: he's planning to walk into the cursed darkness to die - alone]

++++++

There are a lot of thoughts I have about this - for one, Lia seems to have a similar reaction to Rolan if he loses his siblings. Despite their differences in opinion, they've probably had more influence on each others' behaviors and internal morals than they think. On the other hand, Cal seems so shocked that he's unable to process reality, I think this signals to a certain type of dynamic between the three where his (presumably older) siblings were like protectors or mentors to him.

The main thought I have is that in most situations (aside from saving everyone), Rolan is often the one who ends up as the sole survivor after his siblings die at Moonrise. But he survives in all cases, heading to Baldur's Gate and resuming his apprenticeship. The grief might be enough to kill him if he truly had nothing else, but he pushes through it regardless, because otherwise, the loss would have been for nothing, which is something he himself admits is hubris (in his journal). Rolan's logical approach to life backfires on him; if he's so great, if he's a hero, why couldn't he save the two people who meant the most to him? He's had this idea all his life, that he's talented and powerful, so he's supposed to be able to protect everyone on his own, and when he can't do that, the magnitude of his failure is such that he can't even process it himself. He has to try and move on with his life because that's what he'd want from them - so that's what they would have wanted for him (if Rolan dies, he leaves behind a hologram telling his surviving sibling/s to head to Baldur's Gate and move on quickly from the grief).

His apprenticeship is really all that's left to him at that point, the only thing distracting him from his overwhelming grief. That's what makes it all the more tragic that Lorroakan turns out to be who he is, a selfish, hybristic abuser who treats him no better than a servant. There's something so heartbreaking about seeing how bitter and hopeless he becomes after his siblings' death, knowing he has nowhere else to go.

[fortheunsungheros]

Soooo I was going through all of my old school assignments to transfer them to my personal Google account (transferring schools sucks 😭) and I found a bunch of outsiders stuff I wrote! I wrote this for a POV of Johnny assignment and somehow didn’t get sent to the counselors office THIS time. And yes I was a Johnnyboy ship at the time. TW for implied suicide (yes I’m a messed up 13 year old lmao)

————————————————————————

I see Ponyboy gasping for air without any success. His screams and pleads for help are eventually silenced by an overwhelming quiet sensation. He’s drowning, Ponyboy is drowning I think to myself. I see his typical tan skin turn to a shade of icy blue and that’s when I decide enough is enough.

Ponyboy is my best friend, I can’t lose him. Him and the rest of the greasers are the only ones I keep myself on this Earth for. My parents could care less if I was alive or dead, the greasers are my real family. Pony came to me when Darry slapped him, that shows how close we are. He didn’t flee to Dally, Two-Bit, or even Steve; he chose me. Pony may be the only one who would ever choose me.

A wave of anger washes over my normally uneasy self. I begin to scream on the top of my lungs, “Let him go, you stupid soc!”. My calls are replied to by a snarky remark by Bob, the soc that makes my stomach curdle the most.

“ What are you gonna do about it, little greaser? You're clearly just a weak little boy. We beat you up last time no problem. You didn’t even try to fight back.” Bob says, chuckling. He turns to David, the man drowning Ponyboy, and says “Just kill him Davey, he’s too scared to save his own boy.”

Something inside me turns on. It’s almost like a lightswitch was flicked, changing my personality from shy and skittish to enraged and dangerous. I reach into my back pocket and feel for my switchblade for comfort. I really don’t want to do this but it seems like the only way. I grab my weapon from my pocket and display it for all the socs to see.

“Oh wow little greaser, whatcha gonna do, cut us?” Randy said, nudging Bob as he pretended to be afraid.

I flip open my switch blade and gather my thoughts. I shouldn’t do this, it’s so wrong. Yes, these guys are bad but they are still young with a whole life ahead of them. Then again, they are trying to kill my best friend. It’s almost like an angel and devil are on my shoulder, fighting each other until one becomes victorious.

My feet begin charging at Bob. It’s like I can not control my own movements. I take my weapon and stab it into Bob’s chest. I can feel the blade piercing through the young man’s skin. His face looked absolutely horrified. Bob grabs the knife from his chest and attempts to jab me. I quickly reverse the blade's direction back onto him. It’s like a ferocious animal takes over my body. I stabbed him eight more times in the chest. But he refuses to give up for approximately a minute. Bob reminds me of Dally, he is a fighter. Eventually, Bob's body slumps down to the floor. He is presumably still alive, but clinging onto life.

“Weak little greaser. Nobody will ever love you.”, Bob says with the last bit of strength he can compile. His breathing begins to shallow before his breaths stop abruptly. I’ve killed someone.

What have I done? My heart began beating a million miles a minute. My chest begins to tighten to the point it becomes difficult to breathe. All I can do is stare at Bob’s lifeless body, the life of it in which I stole. How could I have killed someone? He was so young as well. Although he acted mature for his age, Bob could not have been older than 17 or 18. He had a whole future of opportunities upon him and I stole his life in such a violent way. I’m sure his parents will be heartbroken with the news that their son has perished, especially given the circumstances in which he died. I am truly a monster.

The rest of the socs are terrified. David drops Ponyboy onto the hard park surface and begins to run. He yells to the other three men “Come on boys, we gotta get outa here!”. The rest of the socs abandoned Bob at the first sight of trouble. While we were walking to the park, Ponyboy told me about the conversation Cherry and him had about the differences between greasers and socs. I would tell Ponyboy that I found another difference, greasers are loyal to their brotherhood while socs are not. I might not be able to tell him this, let alone anything else after this fateful night.

I run over to Ponyboy's limp body and begin screaming. “Ponyboy no!” I grab his body and begin hugging him so hard his head might pop off. “Don’t leave me, please. I love you, you're a brother to me.” I say to Ponyboy as tears seep from my eyes rapidly. I grab his shoulders and begin shaking him, hoping to wake him up from this bad dream. My eyes stare at his blue tinted face until my visibility is obstructed by my own tears. I lay down next to him and hug him tight.

What am I supposed to do now? Not only am I a murderer, my best friend and my world is dead. I can’t go to the slammer, Dally is walking proof that place messes you up. Also, how am I supposed to live without my best friend? My mind turns to the worst thought I possibly have ever possessed. I have a knife. I could end all of this pain now.

I release my arms from Pony and sit up. My hands visibly shake as I grab my knife, the same one I used to stab Bob. His cherry red blood is still lying on the blade. I never thought my life would end like this. I thought I would die an accomplished old man warm in my bed with my loving family beside me. Never would I think I would die young alone in a park.

I look at Ponyboy again. He still appears lifeless, taking shallow breaths irregularly. My focus returns to the knife. I can’t run from the fuzz for the rest of my life. Plus, my parents won’t care if I’m dead, it’s more money to spend on drinking for them. The greasers will forget about me eventually. The only one who ever would have cared about me was Ponyboy.

Before I take action, I reflect on what my life was. It’s sad, you know, how one action can ruin your entire life. I think of my parents, probably slumped over drunk with no idea of their son's current situation. I think of Darry and Sodapop, the people who love Ponyboy and how concerned they must be. Lastly I think of Bob, who’s life I stole too soon. I hope I’m the afterlife I can apologize for my horrendous actions. I truly am sorry. I flip my blade open and with tears in my eyes, I begin cutting my wrist. Before any skin is broken, a sound stops me dead in my tracks.

Suddenly, I hear Ponyboy coughing. I run to his aid to turn him over. He’s alive. Ponyboys alive. Not only is Ponyboy alive, I’m alive. He’s the only reason I’m living right now.

“Johnny? Is that you?” Ponyboy said in a state of deliriousness.

“ I’m here Pony, relax you're safe.”I say trying to hold back my own tears to keep him calm.

“Where are those socs?” Ponyboy says trying to gather his scattered thoughts.

“I killed him, I said slowly. I killed that boy.”

————————————————————————

[hamilando]

ੈ✩‧₊ You drew love around my scars ੈ✩‧₊

Pairing : Wen Junhui x Male reader

Words : 1.5k

Genre : Angst, High-school au, Popualr guy- Unknown guy

TW : Angst, Depression, Suicide, Self harm, Implied family problems but not mentioned, reader does not have friends.

Music : Cardigan by Taylor Swift

A/N : The fic contains mature themes, I don’t mean to offend anyone with the writing.

“Mingyu hold his legs, today I shall end it all by cutting his legs”, Hoshi claimed before running after Jun towards the locker room.

“Hoshi, you are just jealous that I scored the winning goal and well won the hearts of the girls too.” Jun said while running around the football team members trying to avoid being caught by Hoshi. 

Before this police-theif catch could come to an end, their captain stopped Hoshi by the collar and tried to explain these two children fighting like kids.

“You tiger spirited man, stop being jealous of him.”

“Seungcheol hyu-”

“And you, Jun, stop making him jealous, just fight with him when we are done”

“Sure Hyung”

Well Hoshi could not stand this blow to his tiger spirit, so before any member could stop him, he slapped Jun’s butt and ran away screaming, “BYE LOSERS, ALSO CONGRATUALTIONS FOR WINNING AGAIN!”

Seungcheol could just ask the gods as to what he did to deserve to have team member like him.

“Well guys, Congratualations, we did well this season, and I guess you would all like celebrate. And before you all go that being the captain I should treat you all, today at 8pm, at Cheng’s Diner, be there, I will welcome you all with my broke wallet.”

“OUR LEADER IS THE BEST!”, the members exclaimed before thanking the leader the personally, making their way to the diner.

Jun wanted to freshen up a little bit and told the members to excuse him and told them that he would directly meet the members at the diner.

As Jun made his way to the locker rooms, he thought how is life would be if he didn’t choose football in the freshman year. He would not be the popular guy girls threw upon, nor would he have met his football brothers nor would he have gotten the scholarship to the university, well technically there are 3 months left but Jun is sure that he will be the one the receiving it.

When he reached the locker room, he was quite surprised to see the showers of one of the stalls running, 

“Is anyone there?”

No response.

“C’mon if it’s you Hoshi, I am gonna cut your dic-”

The shower stopped running. Puzzled as to who might be there, Jun went to the shower room and –

“YOU, STOP IT RIGHT NOW!”

Jun rushed to the guy sitting on the floor and slapped the blade out of the guy’s hand. He had just witnessed a guy trying to take his own life and had no idea what to do. The guy was still sitting on the floor, with his heads on his knees, silently sobbing, the hand he wanted to cut just hanging limply. 

Jun had never experienced such a situation and had no idea on what to do. He quitely sat down next to the boy, slightly grimacing on feeling the wet floor, but then focusing on the other topic on hand; Him. He could make out the guy was avreageishly tall, not athletic due to his skinny built, black hair and well his shivering body due to sitting under the shower for so long and presumably crying. 

“Do you want a hug ? I am sorry I don’t know much and am completely clueless as to what I can do-”

Before Jun could finish his little ramble, the guy looked up with his red teary eyes, contemplating if he should or not but then hugged Jun tightly, if he would have not been there, he would be hugging death right now. Jun returned the hug without any hesitation, not minding his shirt being wet from all the tears or a complete starnger hugging him.

The way he was clutching Jun looked like he really needed it. It seemed as if he was his life support and he was scared to lose it. After a while, he pulled back and Jun could study his features properly. He thought that maybe he had seen this guy in his physics class or maybe his mathematics class-

“Thanks for saving me Junhui, I guess I owe you one.”

“How do you know my name-”

“You are the school’s most popular guy, who wouldn’t know your name.” Jun, mentally scolded himself for asking the most stupidest question in such a situation.

“May I know your name?”

“Y/N”

After seeing the confusion in Jun’s eyes, Y/N replied, “We have the same mathematics class.”

So Jun was correct after all.

“Nice to meet you Y/N”

“ I wouldn’t say that meeting in such a situation, Junhui.”

“Right”

Out of all the days his brain decided to betray him.

“Why did you return to the locker room, Junhui? Didn’t your match end like an hour ago? I though I would be alone so…”

“Please call me Jun, and I just wanted to freshen up, and well I am glad I decided to come to the lockers.”

“Well you saved a loser like me”

“Why would you say that ?”

“Trying to live my life once and you shall realise on your own.”

“Why don’t you talk to someone ? Like your parents, siblings, friends ?”

“ It's so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. The words just don’t come out of your mouth. About my parents, I would rather not talk about it. I don’t have any siblings, only child and unlike you Mr.Popular, I don’t have any freinds.”

“I am sorry.”

“You don’t need to be, it’s not your fault. But don’t you think how easy it is for people who just witness these situation to just say sorry and not say anything else. But then again a sorry can’t solve anything and well they can’t do anything as well, no offence to you though.”

“None taken but if I may ask a question, why would you decide to do something as serious as this ?”

“Good question, I don’t know, I guess this is what my heart wanted, or should I say brain?” Y/N let out a chuckle before again going to his somber state of sitting on the locker floor.

“Isn’t it a selfish thought ?”

Y/N laughed at the question. 

“Take a note Jun. Never say this to a person who wants to commit suicide. They are not selfish, they are open for the world, they want the people they know to come to them, talk to them, to notice them, but then they don’t. They don’t realise that we be selfish because it is rather painful for us to live through what you call ‘ life given to us and we only have one chance to live the best out of it.’ I succeeded in understanding the world, but the world failed to understand me. You know how they say a warrior’s greatest pride are his scars, well mine are my greatest emotions.” Y/N proceeded to raise his cardiagan’s sleeve and showed the numerous scars to Jun.

It was a lot to process for Jun, he didn’t know if he did the correct thing but he grabbed Y/N’s arm traced each scars with his finger.

“Y/N, life is like a football you know, if kick it too hard it is bound to go outside, but if you kick it with the right amount, it will always reach the goal. Don’t burn yourself trying to prove yourself to yourself. I know others say prove yourself , be the best in your eyes, but sometimes those eyes can be deceiving. I don’t know what led you to take such a drastic step, but I want you to know, that these scars are the art on your canvas, and now the canvas is ready to be sealed as compeleted ok? Don’t you dare go making another of them. Promise me, I know we aren’t close, but from today onwards, I will be your friend, your shoulder to cry on, even your punchbag ! Just don’t take a step that you will regret. Don’t take a step that will hurt us, I shall start caring for you, each step of your hurting you will hurt me as well. Just wait a minute, I will make a call telling the guys I won’t be able to meet them. Then we can go back to your space and change into something comfortable, not this wet. You catching a cold is the last thing we need.”

Y/N could just stare at Jun with tears at the brink of his eyes. He finally heard the words he wanted to hear from the past 17 years of his life. He got himself a friend. A person who could protect him, a person who cared for him, a person who he could cry on, a person who was worth living this life for.

[serickswrites]

Heroes and Villains Series

Man’s Heart-- status complete. 4 parts. TW: blood, blade, wounds, temporary character death, mcd

Professional--status complete. 4 parts. TW: attempted murder, blood, stabbing, wounds, mcd. 

My Darling--status complete. 6 parts. TW: drugging, captivity, restraints, noncon, escape, yandere villain

Crooked Halos--status complete. 6 parts. TW: blood, wounds, threat of death, secret relationships, mcd. 

Round and Round--status complete. 6 parts. TW: blood, arrows, wounds, caretaker and whumpee

Drink--status complete. 6 parts. TW: blood, head injury, electrocution, hurt/comfort, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, caretaker and whumpee. 

Go Now--status complete. 5 parts. TW: blood, threat of death. 

On Ice and Fire--status complete. 6 parts. TW: stabbing, blood, injury, wounds, hospital, hurt/aftermath, hurt/comfort, hurt/recovery

The Night--status complete. 5 parts. TW: blood, injury, wounds, grave injury, near death, magic

Oh Baby, Baby--status complete. 4 parts. Hero and Villain as co-parents. Absolutely no TW necessary as this is light and fluffy

Secret Kindness--status complete. 6 parts. TW: delirium, head injury, restraints, hurt/comfort, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery. 

Just Exist--status complete. 6 parts. TW: abandonment, rejection, physical violence

Oh--status complete. 8 parts. TW: wounds, blood, scars, referenced/implied torture, blade, weapons, mcd. 

To Hurt and To End--status complete. 6 parts. TW: injury, blood, bruises, unconsciousness, restraints, gag, noncon, stabbing, knives, yandere whumper

Bring--status complete. 9 parts. TW: kidnapping, captivity, torture, restraints, physical violence, knives, stabbing, blood, unconsciousness, rescue, mcd

Prisoners--status complete. 6 parts. TW: captivity, torture, restraints, unconsciousness, hurt/comfort, hurt/recovery, hurt/aftermath

Strong Word--status complete. 6 parts. TW: captivity, restraints, torture, blood, wounds, drowning, mcd, cpr, hurt/no comfort. 

Get Up--status complete. 6 parts. TW: blood, mcd, gun, gunshot, gunshot wound, scientific experimentation, stabbing, knife, wounds, physical violence, vivisection, cruel whumper

Come With Me--status complete. 5 parts. TW: manipulation, deception, poison, self sacrifice, mcd, hurt/no comfort

Ache

Vengeful One--status complete. 3 parts. Origin of Villain as the vengeful one

Together

Set Up--status complete. 3 parts. Hero is set up to fail.

Wrath--status complete. 2 parts. TW: violence, choking

Branded

Far Better--status complete. 4 parts. TW: captivity, restraints, torture, blood, wounds, knife, cuts, cutting, bleeding out, unconsciousness, gun, gunshot, rescue, hospital, hurt/comfort, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery

Powers

Dreaming of

Don't Run--status complete. 6 parts. TW: destruction, mayhem, betrayal, kidnapping, scientific experimentation, restraints, torture, power suppression, fade to black, death

Anything Wrong--status complete. 4 parts. TW: restraints, electrocution, torture, unconsciousness

Eyes Like Fire

Make Me Your Villain--status complete. 28 parts. TW: emotional manipulation, threat of destruction, death, murder, grief, isolation, devastation, loss, fire, burns, cuts, blood, wounds, guilt, presumed dead, stabbing, power exhaustion, character on brink of death, broken bones, choking, asphyxiation, drowning, hypothermia, lacerations, water inhalation, falling from a great height, crush injuries, shock, heart break, cpr, nsfw, consensual sexual activities, left for dead, attempted murder, drugging, electrocution, kidnapping, used as bait, forced to watch, self sacrifice, unconsciousness, head injury, restraints, gore, blood from the mouth, temporary character death, major character death, failed rescue, rescue, cruel whumper, public display, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, hurt/comfort, hurt/no comfort, funeral, grief rituals

Supervillain makes Villain hurt Hero

Suicidal Hero request

Whumpee the Explorer

Villain caretaking Hero request

I Believe You

Do You Trust Me?

[thevegandarkelf]

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Eleven

Masterlist

AO3 link

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist <3

Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

Sleeping Beauty (c) Disney, Wednesday Addams (c) Charles Addams

TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing, mention of scars, canonical violence (walker killings), a sex toy is used as a weapon

Word count: 2.7k

It was bright and early the following morning when Daryl came knocking on my bedroom door, insisting that we get moving early to make sure we got back before his afternoon watch. “Ok, gimme five minutes,” I croaked, my throat dry from mouth-breathing in my sleep. I grabbed some clothes out of one of my drawers and tossed them on my bed. There was a fitted jacket, one that would likely be used as workout attire, that I decided to wear as a shirt, another pair of black workout shorts, and my leg holsters for my weapons. I grabbed my backpack and packed my remaining weapons, my notebook, my water bottle, and some medical supplies.

I fluffed my hair a little and tied it up into a high ponytail. Even tied up, my hair still reached down to my mid-back. Having long hair gave me more confidence and made me feel more feminine, but since the world fell, it was more of a nuisance than anything. And it was cumbersome when it was wet. I often debated on just chopping it off, but I liked it far too much to do that.

“Mornin’ sunshine,” I said as I came down the stairs. Daryl was putting his boots on by the front door, his crossbow slung over his shoulder and a tumbler on the floor next to him. I went over and joined him, and he picked the tumbler up off the floor and handed it to me.

“This yours,” he said, holding the tumbler of what I presumed to be coffee out to me. I reached out and grabbed it, our fingers lightly touching as I placed my hand below his on the cup. I let my fingers linger there for just a moment and made sure to brush his as I pulled away. I felt electricity shoot through my body as my fingers graced his.

“You’re sweet. Thank you.” This time, I know I saw a very faint shade of pink appear on his cheeks. I set the cup down long enough to put my boots on and follow him outside.

The air was crisp, cool, and I was thankful I had worn long sleeves. The path was damp, like it had rained the night before or this morning. And one of my favorite things—the dew that clung to the grass nearby—sparkled in the sun like glitter. Rosita was walking up the dirt path, carrying a basket of food from the garden in her arms.

“Good morning guys,” she said as Daryl walked past her. He just gave her a nod and a small “hey” and kept making his way to the front gate. She reached her arm out and grabbed mine to stop me. “Vector, can I talk to you for a second?”

“Uh, yeah, real quick 'cause I gotta skedaddle. What’s up?” She looked over my shoulder to make sure Daryl was far enough away and dropped her voice to a whisper.

“What’s going on here?” she asked, beaming. I rolled my eyes and huffed at her.

“I guess Rick wants us to go out on a run. At least that’s what Daryl told me. Also gonna try to find a prosthetic foot for Aaron for when he needs it,” I explained, also dropping my voice to a whisper.

“Sounds like you two have a long day ahead of you,” she replied, “are you excited?”

I looked down at my feet and smiled, a faint blush of pink gracing my cheeks. “I am. I just hope being stuck with me all day won’t annoy him, y’know?”

“Well if it does, you’ll know. So if it’s not obvious, you’re fine. Now go, you have a handsome archer waiting for you.” She started to turn away, then turned back. “Be sure to tell me all about it once you’re back.” I nodded and jogged off to catch up with Daryl, who was already at the front waiting on me.

“So what did Rick want us to go out for?” I asked as I buckled myself into the car.

“Said there’s some big ass grocery store nearby. Wants us to get what we can,” Daryl explained as he drove us out the front gates, “stock up ‘fore winter sets in and we can’t grow nothin’.”

“Ah, groshrees and a prosthetic foot. How exciting.” I could see him make a face in my peripheral.

“The hell’s “groshrees?” Ya don’t sound like no east coaster.” I stifled a chuckle and pulled down the sun visor in front of me, shifting it to the side window to keep the rising sun out of my eyes.

“That would be my Midwestern accent. I grew up in Ohio, close to the Michigan border. I say groceries like “groshrees” and wintertime like “winnertime.” Med school took me to the east coast.” I thought this would be a good segway into trying to get to know Daryl a little better. “What about you, Daryl? You sound like you’re from deeper south than Virginia.”

“Georgia,” he said, then quickly changing the subject back to me, like he already had his next question lined up, “what’s Doctors Without Borders?”

“Hmm?”

“When ya got here, ya told Rick somethin’ ‘bout wantin’ to join Doctors Without Borders, an’ he seemed impressed.” Of course, I was happy to answer just about any question he had, and I liked that he seemed to take a genuine interest in me and my life. But damn, he couldn’t even keep the subject on himself for two seconds, and it was starting to get a little frustrating.

“Oh, yeah, it was a non-profit that sent doctors around the world to provide medical care in areas where people needed it. Places with rampant diseases they couldn’t keep under control, war-torn countries, places where people had experienced natural disasters and such.”

I looked over at him and studied his features as I kept talking. He had his eyes focused ahead of him on the road, but I could picture them perfectly, those gorgeous pools of cerulean blue. Even though he was paying attention to the road, as he should, I could tell he was actively listening, genuinely curious and taking in every single word I said. He always did. “I wanted to get a few years of practice in after residency before joining. But instead, the world fell. Guess I was destined to end up in a war zone regardless.”

“Selfless as hell. Not somethin’ most people’d do,” Daryl replied, this time turning to me for just a second, gracing my face with his beautiful eyes, followed by a very, very tiny smile that tugged at one of the corners of his mouth. Our eyes locked for just a moment, and in just that one moment, my knees became weak and my heart rate increased. He truly was beautiful.

“Thank you.” This time, I was determined to get something out of him. “Alright, enough about me. You gotta give me some more info about you,” I said, propping my right foot up on my seat and wrapping my arms around my leg.

“Why?”

“Because you have asked me a million questions about myself in the last few days, and I’m gettin’ real sick and tired of hearing my own voice,” I explained, offering him a soft smile, “you are one mysterious human being, and I want to get to know you. We’re friends, right?” I scratched at the side of my thumb with my index finger. “I hope. Plus, I don’t wanna be a nuisance by just going on and on and on.”

“If I thought ya’s annoyin’, I wouldn’ta kept talkin’ to ya or brought ya along,” he said in an attempt to offer some reassurance.

“But still, I would like to know more about you. So let me do the asking, and you do the talking. Please.” To my surprise, the car slowly rolled to a stop, and he turned once again to meet my gaze, this time for longer. New butterflies in my stomach were starting to break out of their chrysalids. “I won’t get too personal I promise. Unless you want me to.” I gave him a flirtatious smirk, and I saw that small smile pull at the corner of his mouth again.

“Fine,” Daryl said, breaking eye contact and starting down the road again, “only cause ya asked so nicely.”

I had to take a second before I started speaking again. What had just happened? Was there tension in the air there? Did I imagine it? Was he being flirtatious back? Or was I imagining that as well? My head was spinning, and I had to take a couple of deep, but quiet, breaths to slow my heart rate down.

“What did you do before all of this?” I asked, then remembering that I had asked that question on our first run and he didn’t seem very receptive to it, “oh shit, I asked you that before. If it’s a touchy subject, you don’t have to answer it.” My rough-and-tumble redneck companion was quiet for a moment, and I was trying to come up with my next question when he answered.

“Nah, you’re good.” He pondered for a moment, choosing his words carefully to perfectly craft his answer. “I was just existin’. Floatin’ through life. Wake up every mornin’, and whatever Merle said we was doin's what we did.”

He mentioned someone’s name. Progress.

“Who’s Merle?” I asked. I continued scratching at the side of my thumb with my index finger in an attempt to quell my anxiety. It was never painful, never enough to break skin, but it was enough to be a distraction from my feelings of unease.

“He’s mah brother.” I didn’t know whether the “he’s” was supposed to be he is or he was, but I decided not to prod further on that.

“Is he like you?”

“Whadaya mean?” I hadn’t quite thought this far ahead.

“Y’know, like…easy to talk to, pleasant to be around, things like that,” I said. He scoffed at my remark.

“Guy was a jackass. Righteous prick. Bit of a creep. You wouldn’ta liked ‘im.” The “was” clarified for me that he was either dead, or Daryl didn’t know where he was.

“Do you think he would've liked me?" I bit the inside of my bottom lip. Jesus Vec, why’d you ask that? What does it matter?

"Merle? Yeah, he'da liked ya. Probably a lil' too much,” Daryl replied. I felt my body fight to physically recoil at the thought of what that could’ve meant, but I kept still.

"I could've taken him,” I said rather confidently. Daryl scoffed at me again.

"That's a lotta big talk comin' from someone so tiny,” he teased. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Oh please. I've taken on people bigger than me before,” I elaborated, digging through the recesses of my brain for one of the stories where a man tried to fuck around with me and found out. I stretched my legs out and put my feet up on the dash, crossing one ankle over the other. “I once caught a man spiking my drink at a bar."

"What'dya do to ‘im?"

"I broke his nose...and his jaw...and his collarbone. Poor bastard didn't know whose drink he was messing with. Mama didn’t raise no bitch,” I said. Even though I could only see his side profile, I saw Daryl’s eyes widen just a little, and he had the tiniest smile on his face, like a proud parent.

"Nice. Didn't get arrested or nothin'?"

“Well, if he went to the cops to press charges on me, they’d eventually see the bar footage of him trying to drug me. Guess he didn’t want any smoke.” He took a turn down a random road, and I could see a building off in the distance with a tall sign in front of it, like the ones you see for gas stations on the side of highway exits. "Plus, he had like half a foot on me. I don’t think he wanted to admit that he got his ass beat by a woman much smaller than him.”

“Jackass had it comin’. Glad nothin’ happened to ya,” he said. I pulled the sleeves of my jacket up just a little and subtly rubbed at the scars on my right wrist.

“Me too,” I said, biting the inside of my lip. Nothing happened that time, sure, but what would he think if he found out about the time that something did? “But we’re going back to talking about you now. Your crossbow’s really cool. How did that become your weapon of choice?”

“Learned it when I was young. 's quiet, deadly, bolts easy ‘nough to come by."

“Did Merle teach you? Or your parents?” I saw his arms flex slightly, like he squeezed harder on the steering wheel for just a second, then stopped. Ok, no more bringing up Merle or his family. Got it, I said to myself, making a mental note of it.

“Taught m’self,” Daryl said, pulling into the tiny parking lot of the abandoned store that we’d be scavenging, “had to learn to hunt, quietest weapon I could find. Saved my ass more than once.”

“Well, it’s sick. Makes you look like a bonafide badass,” I complimented, swinging the car door open and letting myself out, “my brothers taught me how to fight, but that was it. Guess they figured it’d be the only skill I needed when the world was…normal.”

“I could teach ya,” Daryl responded, rather quickly, “I mean, if ya wanted. Should know how, just in case.” I folded my arms on the car's roof and rested my chin on them.

“Yeah, that…that would be cool. Thanks.” He was hunched over in the car, reaching for what I presumed to be his crossbow. I slung my bag over my shoulders. “Don’t think we’re finished here. I have more questions for you.” I shut my door, and he lifted his head back up and rolled his eyes at me. I gave him a smirk in response.

“Whatever,” he said, shutting his door and locking the car, shoving the keys in his back pocket. I swung my backpack around to my side, rummaging in it for a second. I could finally put my most unique weapon to use.

“Here we go,” I said, pulling the black vibrator out of my bag, “I can finally show you how I kill walkers with this thing.” He scoffed and pried the sliding glass doors open, stepping in first in front of me, crossbow ready to fire.

We tiptoed in slowly, waiting for the shuffling sounds of any walkers or people. At first, there was nothing, but after some more tiptoes from us, there were some walker moans and groans echoing from somewhere inside the store. We carefully scanned each aisle, rounding each corner with extreme caution. Daryl got one walker as we came around a corner towards the far end of the store, hitting it right between the eyes.

Even when he was doing something as grisly as killing walkers, he was still the most beautiful human I’d ever laid my eyes on.

We hit the opposite end of the store after cutting through the back area to check for people and make sure we were completely alone. There was one more walker, stumbling around in the back corner of the store, chomping its teeth at us as it sauntered closer. It was wearing a priest's collar.

“Well go on,” Daryl said, stepping out from in front of me to my side, “go get the Father.” I let out a small chuckle and approached the creature, vibrator in hand, the top piece fixated to smack it in the temple.

“‘Sup Daddy?” I joked, swinging the vibrator like a bat and smacking the thing upside the head before it could even try to reach for me. The side of its head was caved in. I leaned over next to it and gave it a few more good whacks in the skull until the moaning and groaning stopped. I wiped my weapon off on its pants and slipped it into the holster on my leg for my knife before looking back up at Daryl, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Told you it’s a good weapon.”

[barzfrommarz]

My honest unorganized thoughts on c!wilburs ending

(2 years late)

tw: mentions of suicide

I would put my thoughts on the apology tour here too but I think that will make this post to long so i'm just going to talk about the finale stream itself.

Also this is very unorganized bc I dont really remember how it exactly played out and I could go back and watch the VOD but ion wanna hear wilburs voice so im using the wiki for this therefore I wont have intricate details

One thing I really like is the flashback at the beginning. Especially the fade from L'manburg to the destroyed L'manburg I love it sm it reminds me of Analog horror series

(That part isn't relevant tho that's just me nerding out over analog horror)

They then go to Las Nevadas to try and apologize to Q but get ghosted and im pretty sure it was bc of conflicting schedules or smth but the fact that c!tntduo never got a proper ending pisses me off to this day. LIKE wdym they never interacted ever again??? Wdym if followin the dsmp ending Quackity probably has no memory of c!wilbur??? !?!?!??!?! I rlly just wish they could've gotten some form of closure either from cc!wil or cc!quackity and sure its funny ig that Q canonically ghosted c!wilbur but still??!?!??!?! ugh anyways

Tommys outburst towards wil..."I never used to be this angry" KILLS MEEEEEEEEEEE. Also c!wilbur getting scared was so....NOT EVEN TWO SECONDS LATER tommy fucking asks "Wil, are you going to kill yourself?" FUCK?????? BRO????????????? WILBUR DENYING IT TO???? Maybe im wrong here but I dont ever remember other characters acknowledging c!wilbur being suicidal and esp the fact it was c!tommy UGH it kills me

Now getting to my criticisms a little bit, I don't like the utah and gas station thing at all. It feels just so random? Out of place even. I would've liked it more if it was just a desert where c!wilbur was from or something

Then wilburs goes to leave blah blah blah don't trust those americans yada yada

Oh but C!tommy asking c!wilbur to forgive the most important person (himself) then a few minutes later we get "I never did forgive myself"OUGDHSHSGHDGDSHUSHGHUHB

Okay now im going to lay out my main criticisms I have with the finale and why I think it was somewhat unsatisfying and we c!wilbur fans were kinda fucked over in the end

-We should've gotten a VERBAL apology to c!tommy

I understand c!wilbur was afraid of losing him or whatever but it would've shown SO MUCH GROWTH FROM HIM IF HE OUTLOUD SAID "Im sorry" TO THE PERSON HE HURT MOST. Im pissed that presumably cc!wilbur decided not to have that happen. Even if it was bad JUST DO IT. c!wilbur was going to leave anyways so him being scared of losing c!tommy if he apologized wouldn't matter!

My next point is that c!wilbur leaving wasn't thought out enough I think. I do personally think c!wilbur should've left the place that ruined him to heal. That's step one of learning to heal but with the apology tour being a flop and him never verbally apologizing to c!tommy it felt unsatisfying and almost underserved and I see why so many people afterward were like "he doesn't just get to leave". What would've helped I think would've been more streams or longer streams if possible. There was so much shit that needed to be retconned but it wasn't given enough time I feel and thats why to so many ppl they were unsatifyed/upset

Going more into the utah shit. I hate it. I hate the "Plot twist" of him being secretly american and from utah. Not even getting into how the real world is now apparently canon to the dsmp in one of the last few dsmp lore streams. I honestly would've liked it more if it wasn't specifically named what the place was instead it was just home. I also had this idea of instead of him disappearing in the middle of the ocean I think it would've been cooler if c!wilbur took a train somewhere almost like a callback to limbo.

I don't like how its somewhat implied c!wilbur killed himself again. It feels cheap to kill of a already heavily suicidal character AGAIN when instead it genuinely could've been a story about how you can learn to heal and forgive yourself even if you did bad things. Maybe this is just me not wanting my favorite character to die but I don't like it at all

Ghostbur was also handled terribly. I understand why alivebur hated him but I also think it would've shown growth if he learned to accept ghostbur in the end. Even if it wasn't fully

Also why the fuck did we never get the contents of the book c!wilbur gave c!tommy?? You throw that shit in just to never tell us what's in it almost 2 years later??

Final thoughts

I might go back and edit this later with more things but for my final thoughts I think c!wilburs finale +the apology tour was a big unsatisfying flop and I belive c!wilbur fans were unfairly fucked over in the end.

Not to sing brighton biter praise, but I do believe he was a good writer and the fact that the last few streams were this unsatisfying is disappointing coming from him. I mean im sure he just wanted to get c!wilburs finale out so he could be done with it but that's not an excuse for fucking your fans over. There was also probably issues with other ccs and characters since (Imo) a lot of the characters he interacted with in the end don't have the best writing (not meant to insult the ccs btw, just saying)

But personally, I somewhat accept it simply bc this is the best we got and I personally don't like alot of other fan re writes on his ending and I also don't like his ending just being "lol he killed himself again"

Anyways that's it, sorry for being unorganized and I apologize if I got anything wrong I might add more to this later. Thx for listening <3

[medusapelagia]

Steddie Angsty August + AU-gust + Aug-kissed Master List

01 He's back written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Second chances) and augustwritingchallenge(Prompt: Canon Divergent) Rating: M Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: mention of blow jobs Words: 1420

02 Creel’s House written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Ghost) and au-gust (Prompt: Colorless) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve & Robin, Steve/Eddie if you squint TW: AU, Major character already dead, body horror, monsters, ghosts, homicide, spiders Words: 1688

03 - The price of success written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt:  The sunset looks lovely, don't you think?") and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: Dark Academia) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: demons, enemies to lovers (mentioned), gun violence, murder, major character death, sad ending, magic, demons Words: 1448

04 Back in town written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Angst with Happy Ending) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: Zombie Apocalypse) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve & Hopper, Steve/Eddie TW: AU zombies, body horror, injuries, blood, whump, presumed dead character Words: 1221

05 A white lie written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Please Please Please, Let Me Get What I Want – The Smiths  ) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: Chess players) Rating: Teen and Up Relationship: Steve/Eddie, Eddie & Wayne TW: none Words: 1483

06 The celebratory tour written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Who did this?" ) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: reality show) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: violence, hospital, blood and injuries, dark Eddie Munson, homophobia, homophobic language Words: 1605

07 - The family ranch written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Moonlight ), augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: fam/ranch), and aug-kissed (prompt: Indirect kiss) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: sad ending Words: 1704

08 - Last summer written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Miscommunication ) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: nomad) Rating: Teen and Up Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: scars, mention of mall fire Words: 1938

09 - The chirping creature written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Upside Down ), augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: joker, Wings), and aug-kissed (prompt: Butterly kisses) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: Kas!Eddie, blood Words: 1544

10 - The Tower of Terror written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: "Where were you?”) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: enemies to allies) and aug-kissed (prompt: Blow a Kiss) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: Witcher AU, violence, blood, injuries Words: 1626

11 I have a bad feeling about this written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Temporary Character Death ) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: Joker: everybody lives) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: hospital, injuries, temporary character death, shots Words: 2246

12 Nothing left written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Terrible Things – Mayday Parade ) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: animagus ) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: mention of plane crash, mention of Steve’s parents death, suicidal thoughts, magic Words: 1735

13 Missing moments written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt:"Please, stay?" ) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: found footage ) aug-kissed (prompt: Gentle peck) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: established Steve/Eddie, implied reference to cancer, sick character, mention of vomit, open ending Words: 1141

14 The betrothal written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Lake), augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: prince and princess ), aug-kissed (prompt: Hand Kiss) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: omegaverse, Omega Steve Harrington, Alpha Eddie Munson, Beta Robin Buckley, violence, blood and injuries, vomit Words: 1563

15 The summer camp written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Childhood) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: secretly alien ) Rating: teen and up Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: implied violence Words: 1912

16 The team retreat written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Struggling) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: hobby drama) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: car accident, canon characters death but in a different way, injuries, blood, hospitals, aged up Steve and Eddie Words: 1489

17 The Halloween Campaign written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Halloween ), augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: flower shop ) and aug-kissed (prompt: Trail of Kisses) Rating: Teen and up Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: none Words: 1463

18 The Mission written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: "Keep breathing, please.") and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: space travel ), aug-kissed (prompt: Frantic Kisses) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie, minor Robin/Vickie, implied Dustin/Suzie TW: androids, space au, whump, injuries, mention of violence, prison, minor character death. Words: 6787

19 The spy written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Right Person, Wrong Time ), augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: spies ) and steddiemicrofic (prompt: plug/437 words) Rating: Teen and Up Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: age difference Words: 1437

20 Never fall for a client written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Careless Whisper – George Micheal ) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: Joker: guardian) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: violence, gun violence, open ending. injuries, blood Words: 1607

21 Merry Christmas written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Please ) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: Absurd Tragedy)  Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: parents death, homicide-suicide, gun violence, tragedy Words: 1259

22 Not a murderer written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Missing scene ) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: Orphan ) Rating: Teen and Up Relationship: Steve/Eddie, Wayne & Eddie TW: mention of canon character death (Chrissy) Words: 1673

23 Meet me at Skull Rock written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Skull Rock) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt:Musician ), aug-kissed (prompt: Using Tongue) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: no one Words: 1403

24 I have a date written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt:"Go, see if I care." ) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: Pretended Hate ) aug-kissed (prompt: Hickeys)  Rating: Teen and up Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: no one Words: 1228

25 The soulmates program written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Soulmates ) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: Scientists ) aug-kissed (prompt: First Kiss) Rating: Teen and Up Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: no one Words: 901

26 The night we met written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt: The Night We Met – Lord Huron ), augustwritingchallenge (Prompt:Victorian Era), and aug-kissed (prompt: Kiss Goodnight) Rating: Teen and Up Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: omegaverese Words: 1431

27 We’ll find a way written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt:"I thought we agreed it was over.") and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt:Younger/De aged) aug-kissed (prompt: Chocolate Kiss) Rating: Teen and Up Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: no one Words: 2280

28 Tomorrow written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt:Tomorrow ) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: Caretaker) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: open ending, description of injuries Words: 852

29 The Escape written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt:Future ) and @augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: Force into hiding) Rating: Teen and Up Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: Eddie shaving his head (I know!!!) Words: 1196

30 I saw him written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt:Vampire ) and augustwritingchallenge (Prompt: Joker: thriller) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: canon character death (Eddie), vampire Eddie, blood Words: 1272

31 Suddenly parents written for steddieangstyaugust (prompt:"I'm not going to beg you to love me." ) and augustwritingchallenge (2 Prompts: accidental baby acquisition + retail workers) Rating: Teen and Up Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: Henderdads Words: 1153

[video-game-kids-tournament]

MEET YOUR CONTESTANTS!

TW for religious trauma, child abuse, and suicide under the cut

Name: Isaac Moriah

Age: “Implied to be rather young, school age”

Gender + Pronouns: “Canonically genderfluid, implied to be gay, commonly uses he/him but may be any pronouns (due to other playable characters also being Isaac at their core which means she/her and they/them are also canon pronoun sets)”

Video Game: The Binding of Isaac

Victims Taken: Cuphead (Cuphead)

Backstory: “Isaac has extreme religious trauma from an abusive mother that manifests as the rather brutal videogame. His father was not the greatest either (implied to have a gambling addiction) and divorced Isaac's mother after a particularly massive fight. Isaac canonically kills himself by suffocating to death in a toy chest due to seeing himself as evil and irredeemable from the religious trauma.”

• “(tw for abuse, child death, and bad religious stuff) Isaac comes from a broken and heavily religious family. Their father gambled all their money and left, and their mother is a religious fanatic who believes all the televangelists she listens to. Isaac was also bullied as a child due to liking to dress up as their mother (among other feminine attributes). At some point Isaac locks themself in their toy chest to hide and suffocates (at least, this is one interpretation. The lore is kinda nebulous on exactly how and where Isaac passes away.) In the gameplay itself, Isaac (or his other personas/alters[?]) has to navigate a warped version of their basement that slowly becomes more and more church or underworld-esque.”

• “Abusive religious mother drove his loving father away and then proceeded to abuse Isaac and, eventually, scare him into locking himself in a small chest. The game is presumed to be his imagination running wild while he slowly suffocates and dies in the chest.”

• “isaac lives alone with his mom, who, as a result of the stress of her husband leaving her, starts having religious delusions. isaac absorbs all of this negativity and starts to blame himself for his dad leaving, thinking he's a sinful child. the game is you fighting against all the awful stuff in his brain. it does not have a happy ending.”

• “ok so his mom watches christian broadcasts and tries to kill him with a kitchen knife but he finds out and hides in his toy chest which locks on him and the game is basically his hallucinations as he suffocates to death. also you can shoot tears from your eyes at poop monsters to kill them”

Why should they win the tournament?: “Isaac deserves another chance to make it tbh”

• “i mean cmon. they need a win here”

• “Just a baby that deserved so much better. Very creative and sweet. He just wanted to be a good person.”

• “he deserves to win something, somewhere :(“

• “bro has been through so much already give him a break”

[the-great-lightwood-bane]

fic masterpost

figured I should probably make one of these | she_who_reads on AO3 | no permanent MCD or unhappy endings | no smut | all posted to AO3, some also on Tumblr | putting it under the cut because this got LONG

Consul Alec Lightwood (soon to be Lightwood-Bane) Malec | G, no warnings | One-shot | Missing scene from QoAaD in which Alec tells Magnus that he was elected Consul | AO3

bargaining (for you) Malec | G, tw amnesia | ch 8/8 | Alec makes a different deal with Asmodeus. Angst follows. | AO3 | Series (extras) | Tumblr

Whumptober 2021 (Series on AO3)

together Malec | G, tw canon-typical violence | ch 5/5 | Alec has been kidnapped. We're not sure by whom, though… | AO3

hunger Malec | G, no warnings | one-shot | Magnus is magically exhausted for the first time since the Owl incident. It brings back bad memories. | AO3

an eye for an eye (a son for a son) Malec | G, tw minor self-harm & vampirism | ch 4/4 | An alternate universe in which Imogen Herondale demanded justice for the death of her son when the Circle fell, and the Lightwoods didn't get off so scot-free | AO3

hope (and the lack of it) Malec | G, tw magical illness | one-shot | missing scenes from QoAaD when Magnus is sick with the blight | AO3

flightless angel Malec | G, tw violence, blood | two-shot | Canon divergence from CoHF in which Shadowhunters have wings, Raphael lives, and a different deal is made to escape Edom | AO3

by proxy Malec | G, tw canon-typical violence, torture | two-shot | Magnus’s voice was hoarse from screaming, and his wrists chafed from the magic-suppressing cuffs on his wrists, but he was otherwise unharmed. He wished he wasn’t: if he had been the one getting beat up, his husband wouldn’t be. | AO3

don't you die on me Malec | G, tw canon-typical violence, presumed character death | two-shot | And then, to Alec’s horror, the Alliance rune on his wrist flickered, and he looked to Magnus just in time to see him fall. | AO3

bleeding through the bandages Malec | G, tw canon-typical violence, blood & injury | one-shot | Magnus is stabbed with a seraph blade fighting Circle members. | AO3

immortality (and what a certain Shadowhunter will do to get it) Malec | G, tw blood | one-shot | Alec figures out how to become immortal. This is how it happens. | AO3

escape (getting home) Malec | T, tw implied/referenced torture | two-shot | Alec is kidnapped by Circle members. He escapes. | AO3

adrift Malec | G, tw dehydration | ch 3/3 | In a few days, Alec would be dead. His head ached dully, his mouth felt dry. He tried to stand up, and his head spun for a few moments before he steadied. He wished he could see Magnus one last time. | AO3

self-sacrifice Malec | G, tw self-sacrifice, suicide for saving others purposes (no MCD) | one-shot | that scene from Sherlock BBC (s4e3) where Sherlock has to choose between killing John and killing Mycroft, except with Shadowhunters | AO3

learning to love Malec | G, tw implied/referenced & internalised homophobia & aphobia | one-shot | Alec was sixteen when he realized that he was asexual. A story of self-discovery, of coming out (the first time, and then again, and again), and of acceptance. | AO3 | Tumblr

libertate bellantis Malec | T, tw canon-typical violence, implied/referenced torture | ch 17/17 | They met in a coffee shop. Alec, a member of the Resistance, Commander and Acting Head of New York. Magnus, known to the Shadowhunters only as Bane, one of the most powerful warlocks in the world. Both think the other is mundane. (Both are wrong.) Both will find out the truth. Plus, Valentine has been leading a worldwide Clave-sanctioned genocide of the Downworld for the last twenty-five years, and now Alec and Magnus have to work together to stop him... | AO3 | Series (sequel and extras)

Unforeseen (series) Malec | T, tw canon-typical violence | 3 works | Alec has magic, Malec are very soft, and there are shenanigans. | Series on AO3 | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Deruned Malec | G, tw derunement | one-shot | An alternate universe in which Alec didn't marry Lydia, but he didn't kiss Magnus at the wedding, either. There are more consequences than you might think. | Inspired by Universes of You by giidas | AO3

Febuwhump 2022 (Series on AO3 | Tumblr Masterpost)

Choices and Self-Sacrificial Tendencies Malec | G, tw demonic possession | two-shot | Magnus is possessed. Alec doesn't want to hurt him. | AO3 | Tum/blr

dreaming of you Malec | G, tw minor mention of blood | two-shot | Magnus knows he’ll never have a soulmate — he’s the son of a Prince of Hell, after all. Alec has been dreaming of his soulmate for as long as he can remember. | AO3 | Tumblr

Chronic Pain Malec | G, tw chronic pain | one-shot | Alec has chronic pain. Magnus finds out, and does what he can to help. | AO3 | Tumblr

bone deep Malec | G, tw unconsciousness, hypothermia, delirium | two-shot | Magnus’s skin was cold to the touch. | AO3 | Tum/blr

home Malec | G, tw illness, mention of death | one-shot | An unknown disease sweeps across the Shadow World. | AO3 | Tumblr

hidden scars Malec | G, tw scars, discussion of past injury | one-shot | After a fight, Magnus can’t keep up the glamour that usually covers his old scars. Feels and hurt/comfort follow. | AO3 | Tumblr

magic (is more than the caster) Malec | G, tw human experimentation | two-shot | Malec get captured, Valentine is an evil maniac, Magnus is a BAMF, and his magic loves Alec almost as much as he does. | AO3 | Tum/blr

Belief Malec | G, tw canon-typical violence, body-swap | one-shot | Alec knew two things: he couldn’t risk letting Valentine free, and he couldn’t risk letting Magnus die. (2x12 canon divergence.) | AO3 | Tumblr

growing pains Malec | G, tw descriptions of pain, mention of suicide | one-shot | Alec is poisoned at a Clave function. Magnus makes the antidote in time, but everything is not over yet. | AO3 | Tumblr

with great power Malec | G, tw earthquake | one-shot | There’s a lot of responsibility associated with great power. Magnus has the opportunity to stop a tsunami. | AO3 | Tumblr

burning bright Malec | G, tw canon-typical violence, blood | one-shot | Trapped under a magic-suppressing ward without access to weapons, Magnus uses an ability Alec didn’t know he had. | AO3 | Tumblr

Gospels Malec | T, tw swearing, mention of kidnapping and torture | one-shot | Magnus Bane has been taken. Alec Lightwood is not merciful in his quest to take him back. (Conversations during the in-betweens and the after from Revelations by ClinicalChaos.) | AO3

let your voice be heard Malec | G, no warnings | one-shot | Shadowhunters don’t sing. aka five times Alec remembered that he wasn’t supposed to sing, and five times he knew he could (because this 5+1 idea is totally unbalanced and the characters deserve better). | AO3 | Tumblr

Shadowhunters Pride Bingo 2022 (Series on AO3 | Tumblr Masterpost)

of love & names Magnus-centric, Malec | G, tw transphobia | one-shot | The best thing that Asmodeus ever did for him, Magnus sometimes thought, was letting him choose his own name. Or: Magnus is trans, has friends, and (finally) feels accepted. | AO3 | Tumblr

U — Understanding [Shadowhunters Ace ABC] Alec-centric, Malec | G, tw internalised & institutionalised homophobia | one-shot | Isabelle realised that her brother was not straight when she was fifteen and he was sixteen. Or: Izzy loves her brother, but some wounds go deeper than she can fix. (Ft. gratuitous light/dark metaphors, sibling antics, and angst with a happy ending.) | AO3 | Tumblr

of colourful nails & the defeat of homophobes Malec | G, tw homophobia | one-shot | Magnus’ nails glowed with every colour of the rainbow. Or, Alec paints his nails and is politically savvy. | AO3 | Tumblr

N — Natural [Shadowhunters Ace ABC] Malec | G, tw internalized & external homophobia & aphobia | one-shot | Alec is ace and gay, Maryse is evil, Alec meets a certain Magnus Bane, and the road to self-acceptance is long and hard — but it's a bit easier when you have friends and family to support you. (Ft. pining idiots and Alec writing books.) | AO3 | Tumblr

sweeter than sugar Malec | G, tw minor mention of homophobia | one-shot | Pretty boy. Darling. Alexander. Sayang. Husband. Five times Magnus called Alec something that wasn't his name, and one time Alec returned the favour. | AO3 | Tumblr

G — Gaze [Shadowhunters Ace ABC] Magnus-centric, Malec | G, tw aphobia | one-shot | Magnus sometimes found the gazes of strangers unnerving. Or, Magnus is demisexual and sex-positive, people are not always understanding, Camille is a bitch, and Alec loves Magnus. | AO3 | Tumblr

pull me closer Jimon | G, tw mention of Jace's abusive childhood, panic attacks | one-shot | For most of Jace’s life, his assumption that he was straight went unchallenged. Jace is definitely not straight and in love with Clary. That doesn't change just because Simon's cute and funny and brave and— well, Jace is straight, so obviously he doesn't like Simon that way. (Right?) | AO3 | Tumblr

(beyond) this place of wrath and tears Malec | T, tw for mention (not graphic) of the following: biphobia, racism (anti-Downworlder and anti-POC), whatever it's called when people want men not to wear makeup, suicidal thoughts, and depression | one-shot | People tend to hate what they do not understand, and while Magnus can ignore most cruel words, he sometimes fears there might be a fragment of truth in them. Fortunately, he has Alec. | AO3 | Tumblr

Never Alone Malec | G, tw violence, reference to rape/non-con, and vampirism, all at canon levels | ch 21/21 | In a world where Shadowhunters’ dæmons never lose the ability to change shape, Clary spends her eighteenth birthday learning why Hunter can still shift. Or, a shameless fix-it featuring BAMF Magnus and Alec, logical problem-solving rather than the disaster that was Jace, Izzy, and Clary — and, of course, Malec falling in love (in a slightly less difficult situation). | AO3 | Tumblr

the implications of language Malec | G, tw minor reference to Magnus' mother's suicide | one-shot | Indonesian is Magnus' mother tongue — the language he slips into when he doesn't have the presence of mind for anything else. Alec wants to learn. | AO3 | Tumblr

bloody but unbowed Malec | G, tw implied/referenced torture, discrimination against Downworlders | one-shot | Twenty years ago, the Circle won. Six years ago, Alec Lightwood began freeing every Downworlder to enter the Institute’s cells. A week ago, he was caught. Nobody’s going to free him. | AO3 | Tumblr

Whumptober 2022 (Masterpost | Series on AO3)

Unscheduled Meetings Malec | G, tw canonical MCD for Thule Malec but not for other versions of Malec | one-shot | A (relatively) everyday trip to confront a warlock results in something decidedly not everyday. Who would’ve thought Alec’s magic held the key to unlocking the multiverse? | AO3 | Series on AO3 | Tumblr

Could Cry Power Malec | G, tw kidnapping | one-shot | People are disappearing from New York, and Alec has no idea why. What he finds out is worse than he’d expected. | AO3 | Tumblr

mothers & sons Malec | G, tw suicide attempt | one-shot | Maryse is evil and there are some particularly nasty spells hidden in the Institute’s archives. What follows will leave scars. | AO3 | Tumblr

of demons & protection spells Malec | G, tw canon-typical violence, self-harm | one-shot | Maryse Lightwood doesn't show up at Magnus' door, but instead helps Alec kill Jonathan. Magnus leaves New York, heartbroken, but refuses to join his father in Edom. Asmodeus isn't happy about that. | AO3 | Tumblr

(and if i couldn't walk) i'd crawl to you Malec | G, tw blood loss, canon-typical violence | one-shot | A routine patrol goes wrong, and Alec is left bleeding out in an alley. | AO3 | Tumblr

[grey-spark]

Three ABBI Fan Theories

@idril-la-wiccan

(LONG POST, BIG SPOILERS) (tw: suicide) I have taken great interest in your Out of the Abyss Story, and I have brought you 3 offerings for your adventure. Three fan theories base around ABBI. Feel free to implement them in your story if you like, since there's a chance these theories might actually be canon.

Note: I’m going to avoid discussing the obvious and assume you already know about Tako-san, Uni, Meido and the OMORI BOY comic. 

#1 ABBI/Tako's ‘Real World’ counterpart is likely Basil or Mari’s Petrock “OCOTACO”

While its true that, Tako-san are not a “one-to-one” copy of OCOTACO. They are both black and white octopuses with tentacle pigtails with “Tako” in their name.

We know character’s don’t have to be exact copies of their real world counterpart, kind of like how Jawsum based on the shark in Sunny’s Black Jack game. So if this is the case, who did she belong to?

I always found it interesting how the game bends out of its way at the last minute to let us know that Basil had a Petrock. If she used to be Basil’s that’d make a lot of sense how she ended up being associated with the Truth. 

Also its also very possible that she used to belong to Mari. Although it is never state if Mari owned a petrock, it is entirely possible if not likely that she bought one as a way to bond with Sunny.

(Note: In the final version of the game, this seems to be Ren and Shawn. However, i question if that was always the case. There’s a chance there two were meant to be Mari and Tako, but then were turned into separate characters after the fact. There no way to know for sure.) 

As the Wisest, Tako served as Sunny’s conscious, like an angel on his shoulder, just like Mari. She also has many visual similarities to Mari, and is even shown to be hanging out with her in early concept content.

It’s also possible that Ocotaco used to belong to Sunny himself since he’s the third character to know the Truth, but this is unlikely since Sunny picks “Jash” when given the option to buy any petrock he wants.

Personally speaking, I think Ocotaco was Mari’s petrock, and Basil owned a petrock called “Flowerlad”, which has a painting/flower themed rock.

#2 ABBI used to own the Lost Library

This dialogue speaks for itself:

Question: Who has the power to banish a library? Why would anyone want to “banish” a library? Answer: Omori, to hide the Truth. 

And based on Mari’s quote, it implies that someone had to maintain this library, but then suddenly that person vanished, so it sank underground.

Still not convinced its Tako-san?

Notice how after you beat ABBI, she gives you the most powerful weapon in the game, the RED KNIFE, in Sweetheart’s dungeon. The area that’s situated just above the Lost Library, presumably her old base of operations.

Okay so what function did the Lost Library serve?

Nothing like the Lost Library exists anywhere else in Headspace. It has so much knowledge about Sunny’s real world memories. We don’t know exactly what the library or Tako did, but we can make an educated guess.

Personally speaking, I think each great creature was given a job in maintaining the Headspace cycle of blissful ignorance.

Again, I’m going to assume if you’re reading this post, you already know about Daddy LongLegs story about how Sunny stumbled onto Black Space and chose blissful ignorance. Let’s discuss where the great creatures come in...

Let’s start with the cat...

The Big Yellow Cat’s job is said outright by the Branch Coral. 

The cat watches the Neighbor Room and his friends while Omori is away.

This dialogue is important because it sets the precedent that Omori has given tasks to at least one of the great creatures.

At the end of the HIKI route, its also revealed that it knows how to reset the whole damn thing. So yeah, the cat is all in on maintaining the cycle. 

And then there’s Humphrey...

Humphrey could be the subject of his own post, but I’ll give you the short version. Basically, Headspace is a literal videogame in Sunny’s mind. 

Humphrey’s job is to serve as its unbeatable final boss.

And the bones of his friends from each route just keep piling up...

There are also many other instances of Humphrey breaking the 4th wall of the Headspace videogame in his level and even in the FOE FACTS. 

In said “final fight”, Humphrey expounds that he thinks “ignorance is bliss” and that its best for Sunny to forget the Truth and himself entirely, like Sunny does in the in Hikiomori Abandon ending. 

(Which means in the context of your “Out of the Abyss” story, Humphrey’s goals are 100% opposed to Tako’s. They also have this “Id vs Super Ego” rivalry going on, so I’m really interested to see where that goes...)

And then there’s Tako’s job, as the Librarian of Sunny’s Memories 

Basically, her job was to maintain Sunny’s most precious memories, which if you think about it, is super vital to the maintenance of Sunny’s fantasy world. 

Its also possible that the castle keeper may have played a big role, considering how powerful he is and his proximity to the library itself. He may be an ally and former colleague of Tako-san.

The question is... why did Abbi agree to do this? And what made her snap?

#3 ABBI’s “act against the Dreamer’s will” created the third BLACK SPACE entrance. 

There are five entrances/ fractures to Black Space. Again this could be the topic of its own video, but we’ll briefly discuss it here.

When Sunny approaches the area being guarded by behind Humphrey, a disembodied voice (highly implied to be The Stranger in the game’s code)  tells Sunny that there are five entrances to Black Space:

Of all these entrances, we only get to see one get created in game:

There is almost NO way to prove how these entrances were made. But I’m going to give you my theoretical timeline of events.

My personal take, is this:

The Deep Well entrance is the one mentioned in Daddy LongLegs story that Sunny stumbled into. It was the original entrance to Black Space Sunny found early on after the fall out of the real world accident: 

Shortly after discovering this world, Sunny is driven mad by Black Space, and chooses to become Omori, who then promptly locks it away, and tasks Humphrey to guard the entrance, where he can still be found.

At some point, OMORIs friends are added (or found) in the Neighbor Room, and Headspace is combined into one world. Abbi then sets up her library. 

But why??? Why does she do this.

The answer is in Black Space, given by the stranger.

So basically, there are two forms of OMORI, and Tako has to choose:

Either, ‘Repressive OMORI’ and Headspace

Or, ‘Destructive OMORI’ and Sunny’s imminent suicide:

The reasonable Tako-san choose the lesser of two evils. She created the library and helped maintain Headspace to stave off the worst and buy time.

Things continued on for a few months, and everything was operational.

Suicide was averted. 

Omori got to have adventures with his friends, BYC watched their room and kept it and the playground monster free. The ‘still sane’ Humphrey guarded the Black Space entrance devouring any Somethings that came through, and had the gruesome task of killing his friend if he ever tried to leave. And Tako maintained her library, giving good childhood memories to Omori when asked.

Tako is now in this weird spot where she knows Headspace is wrong, but also plays a crucial role in holding everything, and everyone she loves together.

This continued for a few months. It wasn’t perfect but it was functional...

And then one day at the beach this b*tch showed up

“Ayo the pizza’s here” Spirit Mari said, taking OMORI completely by surprise. 

This created the first fracture and second entrance to Black Space. 

Omori immediately was zipped away to White Space. What then ensued was a very short version of the Hiki route in game, where Sunny is drawn to the entrance over and over to save Basil from Headspace.

Humphrey and Tako were probably the most effected by this. Humphrey had to actually start killing Sunny for the first time, and Tako probably requested to talk to Spirit Mari, and was denied by Omori. I personally think she was probably furious about the way Spirit Mari was being treated. 

Eventually Basil was saved, and everything returned to normal, this time, Omori was ready for Spirit Mari, and so a new era of peace lasted for a month or so. Everyone was ready to go back to normal...

Everyone except Tako.

She couldn’t stand the way Mari was treated and then-

One day, she snapped.

She confronted Omori, about the Truth, in front of his friends.

This created the second fracture and third entrance to Black Space.

Once again, Omori was quickly whisked away back to White Space, and once Sunyn was woke up. Omori detained Tako-san. He put her as far down as he could without actually putting her into Black Space. The Abyss.

They did the whole “save basil” routine again, but after that, a LONG TIME passed like YEARS passed. With both, Spirit Mari and Tako out of the picture, there was no one to disrupt the peace in Headspace. 

Over this time, the Lost Library sank underground, Sweeheart ascended to power, without Tako acting as his moral anchor Humphrey went mad from hunger, created by Sunny’s real world malnourishment. But beyond that, not much changed, this could have gone on forever.

But the next fracture would come from something Omori couldn’t account for, it would come from the real world in the form of a simple phone call:

Keep in mind, up until this point, Sunny had the comfort to know that at any time he could theoretically leave the house and rekindle his lost ties.

That comfort was now being taken away. And to make matters worse, now Kel was knocking and making phone calls, running circles around him.

About several months before the events of the game, this reached a breaking point during one of Sunny’s adventures in Otherworld. 

Something happened in that barn. The big photo frame that used to belong to Aubrey reminded Sunny of the family he shattered.

This created the third fracture and fourth entrance to Black Space.

And you already know the rest. We see the fourth fracture in game. The added stress of the approaching Moving Day was too much for Sunny to bare. 

It’s now 4 days left, 

Sunny thinks back to a story his mother told him about 2 years ago during a rare in-person dinner. 

(Disclaimer: the above image is just a illustration i made. It’s dialogue was all written by me to convey what Sunny’s mom might have said.)

Sunny drifts to sleep with that story on his mind, and he can’t help but wonder...

If Hero made it out, maybe he can too?

Anyway, that’s what I think happened to Abbi and generally what happened during Sunny’s years of isolation. I want to clarify that, this is what I actually believe, I really think all of this is what happened in canon, off screen. I’m probably going to turn the last theory into its own YouTube video. Honestly I’ve been waiting for an excuse to make this post, and your AU caught my interest, I’ll be watching it closely!

[serickswrites]

Whump One Shots III

Drip--TW: blood, emotional torture, implied captivity, caretaker whump

Hate You So Much--TW: referenced captivity, referenced torture, passive suicidal ideation, hurt/aftermath, hurt/comfort, hurt/recovery, caretaker and whumpee

In My Head--TW: referenced captivity, referenced torture, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, hurt/comfort, caretaker and whumpee

Whumpee falls out of a tree request--TW: intoxication, falling from a great height, broken bones, hurt/comfort, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, caretaker and whumpee

Supposed To--TW: implied kidnapping

Saying Goodbye--TW: kidnapping, confinement, restraints, cages, threat of death, knives, blood, hidden injury, unclear character status

Beacon--TW: blood, wounds, blood loss, unconsciousness, referenced captivity, rescue, caretaker and whumpee

Shake and Shiver--TW: captivity, torture, electrocution, forced to watch (well, sort of), restraints, caretaker and whumpee, cruel whumper, sadistic whumper, emotional whump

Dead Alive--TW: presumed dead, implied captivity, implied torture, blood, wounds, caretaker and whumpee

Go to Sleep--TW: captivity, torture, caretaker and whumpee

Znnnng--TW: electrocution, restraints, torture, blood, knives, cuts, cruel whumper

Unbreakable--TW: broken bones, escape

The Cave--TW: head injury, trapped, unconsciousness

No One--TW: captivity, torture, blood, wounds, scars, creepy/intimate whumper, emotional whump

Living Weapon Whumpee request--TW: referenced death, blood, destruction

Point Break--TW: referenced captivity, referenced kidnapping, implied torture, emotional whump

Over--TW: captivity, torture, physical violence, bruising, beating, broken bones

Enough--TW: captivity, knives, stabbing, blood, wounds, unconsciousness, rescue, caretaker and whumpee

Inside--TW: captivity, torture, blood, rescue, hurt/comfort, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery

The Taste Of Your Lips--TW: poisoning, loss of consciousness, caretaker and whumpee

Down--TW: kidnapping, torture, burns, branding, defiant whumpee

Blood in the Cut--TW: blood, gunshot wound, caretaker and whumpee, hospital, unclear character status

Golden--TW: captivity, restraints, torture, broken bones

Why--TW: referenced captivity, referenced torture, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, hurt/comfort, caretaker and whumpee

Tumbling Down--TW: blood, stabbing, knives, wounds, hidden injury

Thunder--TW: abduction, yandere whumper

Useless--TW: blood, stabbing, injury, wounds, mcd, sadistic whumper, restraints

Bewitch--TW: mind control, yandere

Where Was I?--TW: death, blood, violence, immortal whump

Yandere doctor whumper request--TW: yandere, kidnapping, creepy/intimate whumper

Yandere drider request--TW: yandere, kidnapping, creepy/intimate whumper

Tiefling whumpee--TW: captivity, restraints, implied torture

Sucker--TW: physical violence, blood

Delirium and sedation request--TW: captivity, torture, wounds, infection, delirium, noncon drugging

Remember--TW: captivity, restraints, noncon implied, creepy/intimate whumper

Sound--TW: captivity, torture, gag, violence, electrocution, cruel whumper, caretaker and whumpee

Cold, Cold Heart--TW: escape, hypothermia, rescue, caretaker and whumpee

Frozen--TW: captivity, torture, drowning, rescue, cpr

Nightmare Before Christmas--TW: nightmares, PTSD, referenced captivity, referenced torture, blood, wounds, mcd, flashbacks, hurt/no comfort

Home Alone--TW: referenced gun shot, referenced wounds, referenced blood, referenced hospital, hurt/comfort, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, caretaker and whumpee

Stormy Night--TW: restraints, captivity, torture, cruel whumper, defiant whumpee

Dreaming--TW: referenced loss, grief, nightmares, hurt/comfort, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, caretaker and whumpee

Miracle on 34th Street--TW: emotional whump, emotional degradation, emotional abuse, threat of torture, threat of death

Breath--TW: broken bones, hidden injury

Open--TW: blood, wounds, cuts, referenced captivity, referenced torture, caretaker and whumpee, hurt/comfort, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery

It's a Wonderful Life--TW: restraints, fire, threat of death, ritual sacrifice

Notice--TW: referenced stab wound, blood, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, hurt/comfort, caretaker and whumpee

Frosty the Snowman--TW: torture, captivity, body modification, blood, infection

Separate--TW: explosion, cave in, head injury

How the Grinch Stole Christmas--TW: captivity, torture, restraints, stress position, suffocation

Under Your Scars--TW: referenced captivity, referenced torture, scars, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, hurt/comfort, caretaker and whumpee

Flinch--TW: burns

A Christmas Story--TW: gunshot, guns, blood, wounds, bleeding out

Fake--TW: blood, presumed dead, escape, grief, reunion, caretaker and whumpee

A Christmas Carol--TW: head injury, concussion

Fine in a Minute--TW: escape, captivity, torture, blood, wounds, unconsciousness

The Christmas Shoes--TW: blood, stab wound, bleeding out, mcd, hurt/no comfort, caretaker and whumpee

Won't--TW: captivity, torture, escape

Polar Express--TW: referenced drowning, referenced torture, caretaker and whumpee, hurt/comfort, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery

Swallowed--TW: referenced kidnapping, implied noncon, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, hurt/comfort, caretaker and whumpee

Show and Tell--TW: captivity, torture, scars, wounds, restraints, cruel whumper

Elf--TW: rope, ligature, strangulation, hanging

Bend Until Broken--TW: captivity, restrains, torture, broken bone, cruel whumper

The Nutcracker--TW: captivity, restraints, body modification, self sacrifice, forced to watch, blood, unclear character status

Barista whumpee request--TW: Kidnapping, yandere whumper, drugging, escape

Unknown--TW: referenced captivity, referenced torture, touch-starved, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, hurt/comfort

To Beat the Devil--TW: stab wound, beating, hospital, hurt/comfort, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery

Silence--TW: betrayal, restraints, drowning, rescue, caretaker and whumpee

Emoji ask game request--TW: broken bones, hurt/comfort, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery

Emoji ask game second request--TW: near death character, torture, captivity, rescue, electrocution, blood, stab wounds, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, hurt/comfort, caretaker and whumpee

Electrify--TW: captivity, restraints, torture, electrocution, unclear character status, forced to watch

Walls--TW: referenced captivity, referenced torture, referenced restraints, panic attack, PTSD, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, hurt/comfort, caretaker and whumpee

Lay Me Down--TW: gun shot, blood, wounds, unconsciousness

Antici-pation--TW: captivity, torture, threatening behavior, restraints, falling from a great height, broken bones, unconsciousness

In the End--TW: forced to watch, captivity, wounds, blood, torture, injury, failed escape attempt, cage

Hospital request--TW: wounds, infection, hospital, sedation, restraints

Scuttle--TW: threat of violence, captivity, torture, cruel whumper

Yandere ex-lover request--TW: captivity, restraints, creepy/intimate whumper, yandere

Flutter--TW: captivity, restraints, torture, forced to watch, beating, caretaker and whumpee

Spacship whump request--TW: captivity, torture, hurt/no comfort, cruel whumper, second whumper, inhuman whumper

Growing Bored--TW: captivity, torture, wounds, blood, restraints

Noggin--TW: concussion, head injury, blood, injury, caretaker and whumpee

Wake Me Up--TW: referenced captivity, referenced sensory deprivation, nightmares, hurt/comfort, hurt/aftermath, hurt/recovery, caretaker and whumpee

Tear My Heart Open--TW: torture, restraints, captivity, scars, wounds, bleeding, infection, rescue, caretaker and whumpee

Shocking--TW: captivity, torture, bruises, electrocution, restraints, defiant whumpee

Move--TW: gun, threat of violence, kidnapping

Magic spell request--TW: magic, self sacrifice, revenge

Stay With Me--TW: stabbing, blood, wounds, unconsciousness

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.