#tw for threatened emotional abuse?? I GUESS??

[twilighttheater]

If you were mine, I would be cruel. You would be my plaything and I would toy with you and I would hurt you and I would smile about it. I'd keep pushing and pulling to see just how much strain I can put you under before something somewhere buckles. When things twist a little too far I would walk away without looking back.

But, you aren't mine.

Since you aren't mine, I won't hurt you. (Rather, I should say that I'll hurt you less.) I am unable to smile about it. I suppose I'm still going to be unfair to you either way. I don't think I can help that.

-To Blanc.

"If you were mine, I'd..." Finish it in my ask

It's probably the most brutally honest thing he's ever heard from him. Never have words ever felt so much like knives personally aimed at his throat, like a sore reminder that no matter how you tame a feral creature they will remain so. But even while staring down the metaphorical blade, he's not scared in the way that someone would normally be.

Where's his famed sense of self-preservation? He supposes that what he's doing could be viewed as idiotic especially in the face of this. But he still doesn't feel he's in any danger, even while he directly feels the need to fight back against several points.

He breathes a sigh.

"If you really think of me as not yours, I won't try to change your mind." He gives a light shrug, "but I do think that even if you did consider me yours, I don't believe that you would hurt me the way you're implying you would; not with such intention anyway."

The intention behind it, matters a lot more in his mind.

"I'm not doubting what you're capable of, I've only seen a fraction of what you can do I'm sure, and even this description is generalizing. You know my life practically inside and out, there's a lot of havoc you could wreak without even trying."

"But you don't." He points it out so simply, "you don't, and I trust that you won't. Because I choose to believe that our connection is stronger than your want to destroy it all."

"If I am not already, I can be yours without you tearing my life apart." He's adamant, refusing to believe that the two options given are the only choices. "You can call me a fool idealist again for suggesting this, but I said it before: if you hated my ideals that much, I don't think you would still be here. Evidently there must be something that you see that makes not tearing my life to shreds, more worth it than doing so."

"...But that's just what I think anyway," his stubborn expression fades to one of patience, and understanding. "I think a lot of this is up to you to think about. But I already knew that you were going to be unfair to me at times, and that you can't entirely help that."

He actually manages to smile.

" "Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter." "

"And nobody knows how to handle winter, better than I do."

[teethcore]

you know. i was feeling bad today, convinced myself i was exaggerating everything and they probably didn't actually hurt me at all, and maybe i was just trying to make up things to be upset about. but then they violated a small boundary that i've expressed over and over again to them and when i pointed it out, it sparked a tense convo, which escalated to them pulling the "because i'm stupid and can't do anything right." then they yelled at me to not help them when i brought a tupperware over for their leftovers. now they're in the car "just to sit," but they brought the keys, which is the kind of thing they do every time we argue (that is, a gesture that implies they're not safe or they're on the verge of doing something impulsive to hurt themself). so at the very least there's definitely emotional abuse happening. right? that's what that is. am i crazy?

[dilfartist]

Yandere Kabru dating headcannons?

TW; Yandere tendencies, yandere themes, manipulation, abusive relationship, blackmail, obsessiveness

Notes;{none.}

Reader description; Female/GN

As a yandere, Kabru will be manipulative, lucid, and a little delusional at the same time.

Kabru won’t realize his feelings unless it’s blatantly obvious or one of his party members comments on his behavior. Kabru isn’t oblivious, he can determine emotions quite quickly, but he’d merely see his actions as cautionary. Sure, Kabru won’t keep his eyes off you, nor will he allow you to bunk with anyone else but him. Sometimes his concern will only be on you during the mission. And maybe he does feel content being around you, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he likes you! Then it hits him. He’ll recall all the times his yandere tendencies grew apparent, even finding himself shocked.

At that point, he’ll try to distance himself from you. It’s unfair of him to act that way to you and he knows it. A big part of Kabru is serving justice to people, and he understands if he partakes in his yandere tendencies then he’ll be intruding on your freedoms. There’ll be a period in time when you’ll be left in the dark and you’ll try to talk to Kabru about his sudden avoidance and Kabru will evade the conversation like a saint to a sin. However, it won’t last long. With your persistence and Kabru’s yearning, he won’t last long in the task of leaving you be.

It won’t be until you get into a relationship that Kabru begins to let his yandere tendencies show with his knowledge. He’s already achieved a relationship with you, so what does it matter if he’s obsessed with you? While Kabru understands his yandere tendencies are unjust, he still is a bit delusional in the sense he views them as acts of protectiveness and love. Kabru is more lucid than he is delusional.

Punishments? Yes, he partakes in punishments when he deems them necessary. Allowing you to get away with trying to kill him or trying to get someone’s help won’t happen. Once a person goes against Kabru’s moral code, Kabru will bring them to his justice: including his darling. His go-to is playing mind games. You’ll be second-guessing your every move once you plan a good escape plan. Not because you’re anxiety-ridden, but also because Kabru keeps mentioning an item you’ve secretly placed elsewhere, and when you show disinterest, Kabru looks at you like he knows.

Also punishes his darling through isolation. Will visit a couple of times but after a while, he’ll leave you by yourself. Then when you begin and cry for interaction, that’s when he steps into action.

Does he kidnap his darling? No. If his darling tries to leave him or goes through with it, his best tactic is to manipulate his darling back into his arms. Whether it be his emotional backstory or proving his utter devotion, he’ll play your heartstrings like a harp. If these tactics don’t work then he’ll allow you to leave. But, he’s played you like a fiddle for so long, he comprehends you’ll be back in a month or so. And you do. Kabru, depending on how long the relationship lasted woulf have already convinced you that you’re safer by his side.

Does his party support his Yandere ways? He won’t outwardly expose his true nature to his party, but it won’t take much to figure out how he’s acting towards you. They will think it’s creepy, some calling Kabru a weirdo. Other than discomfort on their part, unless they deem the relationship dangerous they will leave it alone. And in some cases, they too are yanderes for the darling. In that case, they’ll be more willing to allow Kabru to do as he pleases.

Would he kill for his darling? Yes. Whether it be monsters or tall men, Kabru won’t hesitate to end their suffering if it means keeping you safe. If Kabru viewed someone as a threat to your relationship then he’d find a way to threaten them. If his threats don’t work then he won’t mind ruining their life a bit. And what I mean by that is sabotaging them.

Kabru can be a dangerous yandere. His hazardous behavior depends on the stage of the relationship. Rating Kabru as a yandere, in general, would be 7/10. (1 being the best yandere. 10 being the worst yandere.)

© 2024 Dilfartist, I do not allow my work to be copied, translated, modified, adapted, or put on any other platform without my permission

[pianocat939]

tw//suggested domestic abuse

May I request a yandere rise tmnt with a reader who's in a toxic/abusive relationship they're trying to get out of? Maybe they go to the yan for advice/help or the yan finds evidence of the abuse? Thank you and don't feel any pressure if this isn't something you're comfortable with!

(Have a Yan Leo edit cuz I felt bad not having a banner)

Ah another day of writing yan turtles reaction to MC having trauma-

Ok so I was originally going to do one with all of them and then I thought that would make more writing messy (especially on the time crunch I'm on) so I decided to do a small little piece with Mikey and Leo, since I think those two match well together in terms of yan traits (ngl they're opposites but in an odd way it works out).

Tw: mentions of toxic relationships, some perhaps uncomfortable touching (it's just clinging onto the arm and shoulder), read with caution please-

Indulgent Glorification

Mikey and Leo were playing games in the arcade, with the pair competing against each other on who would get the new high score yet. So far, Mikey was winning: to Leo's dismay. The arcade lights glowed onto their faces, making their expressions look more dramatic than it already is.

"Oh, Leo~! Guess who's about to take the new highscore~?" Mikey teased in a sing-song voice, not taking his eyes off the screen not once; not letting himself slip from losing the chance of having bragging rights. His hands gripped the controllers tightly, almost to the point if he put any more pressure, the contraption would surely break.

Leo huffed and his eyebrow muscles furrowed more, intent on claiming the win right before his younger sibling did. He smirked cockily, "Oh just wait little 'Angelo, I will beat you so hard you'll want to hide in your shell out of embarrassment!" He presses his fingers down on the buttons harsher, his fingertips burning from the pressure of his jamming.

Just then, a voice interrupts them from their gameplay, "Hey guys...Can I ask your opinion on something?" They stood at the entrance of the arcade area, their body language looking anxious, fearful even.

As soon as Mikey noticed their nervous form his face immediately contorted into a worried frown and he rushes up to them, putting a hand on their shoulder. "Are you ok? What happened?" The game he was playing with Leo was long forgotten, with his entire attention solely on the person who entered, Y/n. His entire mind was swirling with panic for his divinity.

"Wait hey-" Leo swore as he also lost the game, with both him and Mikey not being able to beat the high score. He then stood up and sauntered over to the other two, his face relaxed but holding a serious vibe. "What can me and my hermano help you with bab- I mean mi amigo?"

As the troubled person started to speak of their agonizing experiences with their significant other, the two brothers couldn't help but become more bitter and concerned with every word that flows into their minds. They wanted to take revenge on this disgusting bug, they wanted to murder them so brutally that they would wish they never even thought of speaking and doing such horrible actions.

"So, what do you think I should do with them?" They ask, their head tilted to the side slightly in hopes they would get an answer they could work with to get out of the torturous situation.

"Well, I think telling them your thoughts and feelings is one thing if you haven't already done that. Then proceed to state of you want to split because their behaviour is just something you can't deal with," Mikey replied in an honest statement, using his knowledge of emotional intelligence. He was going to make sure this process was as least painful as possible for his beloved divinity. He clung to their arm to provide them with some comfort, and also for his own self-indulgence.

"And what if they don't let you leave? Or threaten to do something if you do?" Their tone became more dreadful as they spoke, revealing their extreme uneasiness of the situation.

"Leave them. And if they try to do anything, we got your back." Following his words, Leo pats their back, occasionally stealing a little caress with his finger. His demeanour then changes, back to his cocky self, except in a darker atmosphere than his usual attitude. "Look, if you ever need help from them, you can always come to me. I'll always be here, always." His eyes widened slightly at his words, making his smile more maniacal.

Mikey tightens his grip on their arm, nodding to Leo's words. "Yeah, if you ever need something from us, we're always here to help you. It's my duty as your friend, your best friend." His tone slowly transformed into something stern, almost possessive-sounding if one were to listen carefully.

The two turtles were practically clinging onto them now, with an unhinged glint in their eyes.

And just like that, from a toxic relationship, they walk into a bloody, obsessed, friendship romance with the turtles.

——————————————————

I cranked this out in an hour, so it isn't really polished, but I hope it suffices- (I forgot I had to do an assignment before tomorrow morning so I decided to do this real quick-)

- Celina

[spndiaries]

Dean Winchester- One Shot

TW‼️- this post will mention; abuse, alcoholism, fighting, cursing and parental neglect

Dean lie awake in bed as tears streamed down his face. He felt like a failure. He messed up as a brother to Sam and a son to John. Though John had always told him he was a failure, it still bothered him deeply. He was never allowed to show his emotions in front of his father because it wasn’t “manly”. Nothing was ever good enough for him. He couldn’t be a child anymore, he had to grow up and take care of Sam. He was there for Sam, not John, HIM.

Dean was there for Sam whenever he needed his big brother. He had to be not only his brother, but also his mother and his father. He attended parent teacher conferences when Sam was in school. He made sure Sam had a roof over his head and food to eat. And if he was lucky enough, he’d have money for Sam to go on field trips when he’d stay in school long enough. Who bought Sam’s birthday presents? Dean did. Who bought Sam’s Christmas presents? DEAN DID. John had never done that for his “boys” that he so called “cared” about. Who also had to get temporary custody of their 14 year old brother so he wouldn’t be taken away? You guessed it DEAN WINCHESTER DID.

Sam had always gotten Dean some sort of Father’s Day present each year. He saw Dean as his older brother, but also his dad. When any of his schools would do their “Parents” Day, he’d always bring Dean in. He thought he was the coolest big brother ever, but unfortunately Sam never knew what would happen to Dean when he wasn’t around. He didn’t know the true evils that lie beneath John Winchester.

Dean would always stand up for his brother, he didn’t care how bad of a beating he’d get. As long as he knew Sam was safe, that’s all that mattered to him. Unfortunately Sam would witness some of this, but thankfully not all of it. Though he did remember when John had thrown Dean out of the house when it was pouring down rain and it was awfully cold outside.

John and Dean had gotten into a pretty heated argument that night. “Dean, for the last time, I am your father! You need to listen to me!” He said in an angry tone as he looked at his son. “Father? Father?! Are you fucking kidding me! You are not worthy of being called a father! You know who is a father though?! Me! I’m there for Sam more than you have ever been? Do you know the foods he likes? Or dislikes? Do you know his allergies? Do you know who his doctor and dentist are!? No you don’t do you! Cause you’re too busy going off and finding the thing that killed mom! Guess what, John you’re never going to find it! Can’t you accept that she’s gone and she’s never coming back?!” Dean snapped at his father. That really pissed John off. He made his way over to Dean and slapped him hard. “Don’t you DARE talk to me like that again, boy! What the hells wrong with you?! You know what? Get the fuck out of this room and away from me! I’ll send your ass back to Sonny’s if I have to!” He threatened. He had Dean sent there before snd he wasn’t scared to do it again. “Oh yeah?! Well maybe this time I’ll show him my “werewolf” marks and tell him the truth that my “father” is an abusive alcoholic!” He yelled as he looked at his dad angrily.

John soon walked past him, grabbing onto his arm tightly, and leading him to the door. He soon opened the door, throwing him out into the pouring cold rain. “YOU are NOT welcomed back into this room until you learn and understand not to talk back to your father!” John spoke before slamming the door and locking it. Dean was only 16 almost 17 when this happened. Who the hell does something like that to their own kid? Dean teared up as he looked at the ground. Why would his dad do something like this. As he pulled himself together, he made his way to the impala. Luckily, he knew how to pick lock the doors. Once he made it inside. He climbed into the backseat and shivered a bit. It was colder than all hell in there. He didn’t have his jacket so that made it worse, plus he was also wet.

Sam had tears in his eyes as he watched his father and brother fight. He hated when the two would fight. He also hated when Dean would leave him. He didn’t enjoy being with John at all. As he wiped his tears, he heard the rain start to pick up. He was worried about Dean being out there in the cold weather. An hour went by and he knew John would���ve drank himself to sleep by now. He grabbed a few blankets and quietly made his way to the door. Carefully, he unlocked it, going outside and quietly closing the door behind him. He soon bolted for the impala since he guessed that’s where Dean would be. Dean was lost in his thoughts as he looked out of the window. Soon, he saw a small figure approaching the car. Once the figure was close enough, he realized it was Sam. He quickly got up and opened the door, letting his little brother in. “Sammy, what the hell are you thinking? It’s pouring down rain.”

“I don’t care, I missed you. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.” Sam said as he soon climbed into the backseat with his older brother. “I brought you some blankets.” He spoke, looking over at Dean. “Sammy,” Dean said with a sigh. “You’re gonna make yourself sick like this. You didn’t have to do this. I’ll be okay.” Sam shook his head and hugged his brother tightly. “I don’t want you to leave me again..” he said in a sad tone. Dean looked confused as he held him close. “Sammy, you know I’m not going to leave you. Why would I do that? If anything, you’d be going along with me. You know that. I’d never leave you behind.” He reassured his younger brother. “But, dad said he’d send you away. I don’t want that, Dean!” Sam exclaimed as tears were streaming down his face.

“Oh Sammy…you don’t have to worry about that.” He spoke, shaking his head softly. “I promise as long as I’m around, you’ll always be safe with me. You won’t have to worry about a thing.” He reassured, covering his brother with the blankets he brought. “Now, you need to get some rest. I promise I won’t go anywhere.”

As Dean was remembering these awful memories, he hadn’t realized that Sam was in his room. Sam noticed his brother was hurting and it made him upset. He always hated seeing him like this. He made his way over to him, gently placing his hand on his shoulder. “Dean? Are you okay?” He asked worriedly. Dean jumped as he heard his brother’s voice. He quickly looked at him, wiping his eyes, and nodding. “Yeah, I’m fine, don’t worry, Sammy” he said as he faked a smile. Sam shook his head and hugged his brother tightly. “No you’re not, Dean. What’s going on? You know you can talk to me.”

Dean hugged him back, sighing sadly as he teared up once again. “I-I’m not a good enough brother for you, Sam..” he chocked out. “Dean, yes you are. You’ve been there for me my whole life. You’re more like a dad to me than ours ever was. I appreciate everything you’ve sacrificed for me. Don’t you dare say you’re not a good enough brother for me. You’ve done so much for me and I never take you for granted.” He reassured the other as he rubbed his back a little. “You were young when everything happened and you took me on as your responsibility. You knew you didn’t have to, but you did anyway. You made me the man I am today, Dean. John didn’t do that, you did. You stepped up when he stepped down. I don’t know anyone else who would do that for their brother. I love you, Dean and I’m always here for you. You became the man dad should’ve been. Mom would be so proud of you.”

Dean cried as he listened to him. He was right, he was better than John. He nodded as he wiped his tears again. “I love you too, Sammy. Thank you.” He sniffled.

“You’re welcome, how about you and I get some pie, ice cream, and whatever else you want. And we can rewatch Scooby Doo.” Sam suggested. Dean smiled at that, nodding softly. “Sounds good to me.” He replied. Sam smiled back, getting up, and helping his brother up. As he lead him to the door, he patted him on the back. “You’re a good brother and dad, Dean.” He said and the two were off on their way.

[chemdisaster]

fic about scar's childhood in cd au. it wasn't fun

TW: referenced domestic violence, emotional abuse, general misery

Scar feels filthy. 

Tiles swim under his feet; greased with wine and more that he can only guess at and would rather not, it's like walking through a minefield. The kitchen floor is littered with barely concealed destruction, and it's not a new thing, not to him. The drops of wine look like blood; maybe they are, because there aren't many ways to bleed in this household.

As he treads the slippery ceramic, rising to the tips of his toes to avoid imaginary bombs at every step, a sickeningly sweet smell wafts through the air. Something terrible happened in this room last night; he's the only one who knows, and he holds this knowledge sacred. 

Few things in this world are meant for him.

Yesterday night, she screamed his name. 

He was sure he was going to come help her—go out there with all the strength the pool ever gave him and push, threaten his father into backing off, make him stop. Scar's never been very strong, not at home, but in that moment he felt like he could be. 

He ended up sitting on his bed for hours. Hands shaking, knives and pairs of scissors spread out around him in a circle of shame, willing himself to move, thinking, this will be the one, this will be the moment he finally gets up and does something—

He never did. 

At some point the screams and crashes tapered off into slammed doors; eventually, the flat was thrown into silence and Scar was left alone, shaking and terrified and having done nothing in the end. The knives slipped out of his grip, and maybe it was better this way, because would any last scrap of courage have mattered? 

No. No, it wouldn't.

Scar is a name he chose, and maybe it's his by more than just the marks on his own body. Maybe it's a branding, a curse—a painful reminder of every bad thing that's ever happened in his family, and one person to carry the load. Something to hide, to ignore, to try to get rid of—

Maybe he's the curse. 

His mum said once that she wished he'd never been born. Holding him, tears staining a bruised cheek, she kissed his forehead and said, I wish you didn't have to live like this. Looked into his child eyes, uncomprehending, scared at seeing his mother cry, and said, you don't deserve this. Maybe if you didn't exist, then things would be easier for us. For all of us.

He was small then. She thought he would forget. 

Scar never told her that he remembered. That his childhood is a blur of dates and names and faces, but it's moments like these that stand out clear as numbers against the slate of his past—muddy and jumbled and filthy, just like the kitchen floor. Just like his father and just like him and just like everything he's ever known.

He's an aberration, a defect. He shouldn't be here, and he doesn't need his mother's dry, spindly fingers to tell him that.

Maybe that, then, is why he did nothing yesterday. Why he hid in his room and held a knife in each hand and fooled himself into thinking he could save his mother when she said to him all those years ago that she didn't need his saving. He doesn't belong here; he could stand in front of his father right now and he'd be nothing more than a ghost, a cruel product of his parents' mistakes, something to be gone. 

Scar doesn't exist. So he tiptoes around the dirty kitchen and listens to his parents talking with false cheer in their voice and does not let on that he was awake yesterday. Because he might as well have been asleep.

His mother said once that she wished he'd never been born. 

That might be one of the few things they ever agreed on. 

[fleshmechsystem]

TW: Trauma dumping, mentions of religious stuff, Sexual Coercion and suicide

Dunno if this is a privelaged shit to say but I'm not happy at my birthday. I don't feel as happy as before, I have stupid fucking activities to do and there's a voice (Not an alter) that's telling me that dying would be better than just living at this point.

I don't feel happy because I've experienced shit all the time, and guess what? I always have depressive moods with my birthday anyway.

There are people for me and yet I have trouble even appreciating their support towards me because I'm not even sure if they'll stay or not because of both abandonment issues caused by emotional neglect and trust issues caused by verbal abuse.

Oh but my stupid "parents" would go as far as saying "Oh you just don't pray enough, that's why you have problems!" Your god failed to protect me from your abuse and another one from a family member who you let get away scott free considering they made me touch their dick like a joystick as a child which scarred me for years before realizing I like men.

You let that man off scott free when I mentioned they creepily invited me to watch porn with them for fuck sake just because they were a cousin! For fuck sake I still don't know if they did something to me when I was asleep! That's fucking terrifying considering this asshole had done some manipulative behavior towards me as a child and you had the fucking gull to justify it?

You had the gull to say what he did was good because I swore and he threatened to tell people about it and I was afraid and did what he wanted?

Fuck you and your god. Fuck you and your narcissistic ass. I wouldn't even have met the others if it wasn't for my bastard of a dad either.

Sure they did improve my survival but I fucking wish it didn't. I fucking wish I found that gun when I was younger and shot myself before it was given away to a family member.

I don't know if I should go around and actively shit talk the other alters like me considering what they did to even keep me here, but I fucking hate it.

I'm alive and they don't want to die. It's bullshit.

None of us are even real right?? We're all just some... Fake brain bullshit??

I wasn't even the fucking host! It was someone else! I don't think that makes my existence even have value.

All of this started over a plushie being thrown away by my zealot father. I've met all of them over something so stupid considering other people went through WORSE.

My life is shit because I got so used to being told my problems don't matter as much because other people have it worse.

Now I feel like that's always the case.

Neo will probably be fucking fronting after this anyway. They might as well be the new host alongside Heathcliff.

They're being buddy buddy and preventing me from dying just for their stupid fucking need to survive.

I get it. If I kill myself and the vessel we all die. But maybe part of me is willing to do that. Maybe part of me is entirely fine getting the others killed for my sake.

I just want peace, and I see suicide as a way to reach it. I don't see hope in this life. None at all.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw: csa, incest, emotional abuse, self harm, medical issues.

looking for advice.

tl;dr, i think my mother sexually abused me, but im confused and uncertain what to call it, and wondering how i could bring it up to my therapist. also, for anatomical context, im a 20yo nonbinary person who was assigned female at birth & my mother is a cisgender woman.

hi. i don’t really know how to start this so im sorry but im just gonna launch right in. basically, my mother did some things to me as a child that made me extremely uncomfortable, and which have definitely caused some trauma. this all occurred from since i was very young up until i was about 13. she watched me shower naked even when i was expressing discomfort to the point of tears, had me shower with her when i was too old and uncomfortable about it, often touched my genitals and put (non-medical) creams on and in them for "health reasons", would penetrate my vagina with her fingers during those sessions, and was naked around me all the time. when my dad would be away on trips, she would make me sleep in her bed with her while she was naked and make me hug her, and would ask me to sleep naked/with less clothes on too, but i always refused this. again, i told her how uncomfortable it made but it didn’t matter to her.

these experiences affected me pretty negatively - i have nightmares about being raped or a friend being raped, or about trying to escape a rapist. sometimes ive gotten so terrified of being assaulted, i would do illogical stuff like hanging crystals over my bed for "protection" (despite usually not believing in spiritual things - everyone’s beliefs are valid of course, but personally it’s not something i believe in) or block my door with shoes (which ultimately could be pushed out of the way so it wasn’t that effective, but again it was based more on fear than logic). i get really scared and shaky when someone touches me. i get flashback sensations where it feels like im being touched in private areas. i don’t even like to think about sex, though im not sure if that’s because of trauma or if im maybe just asexual.

the issue is, i don’t know if any of that counts as actual sexual abuse because i don’t know if she got any sexual pleasure out of it. yes, it affected me, and yes, shes a bad person in many other ways - but that doesn’t mean that she was intentionally sexually assaulting me.

she has emotionally abused me pretty severely throughout my entire life. most of it is just the usual stuff - calling me names, slurs, and swear words, telling me im worthless or a waste, threatening me, saying no one wants me and no one will ever believe me, etc. but there’s a few things that stand out in relation to her possible csa of me.

1) she definitely uses "health reasons" and medical stuff as an excuse for emotional abuse, so it would make sense for her to use it as an excuse for csa. for example, some of her emotional abuse involved taking me to a doctor and making me get a blood test because i was "behaving badly" and she decided that there must be something medically wrong with me for me to behave this way, so i had to get blood drawn to run tests. the tests came back perfectly fine. 2) she used to seemingly get some sort of pleasure out of watching me self harm. i used to hit and punch myself to the point of bruising, often using a piece of wood to make it worse, and she would just watch and laugh. she’d make comments about how i was crazy and how everyone would eventually find out that i was insane. in a weird way, those comments kind of encouraged me to hurt myself worse… i guess since she was so flippant about it, or because they made me hate myself more. anyway, i don’t know what she got out of all that, but it made her smile and laugh to see me hurt, so maybe she really does get some kind of strange pleasure out of messing with me, im not sure. 3) she often used me as a bit of a personal therapist, even when i was 6 or possibly younger, so it’s possible that she would just use me as a replacement for her husband when he wasn’t home. i’ve always felt like im no more than a belonging to her, an object that serves a purpose but should never have feelings of its own. she’s told me many times that she wanted a child so she would have someone to "talk at", and she’s admitted that she would get mad at me as an outlet for grief when her own mother died. if she used me for sexual/romantic reasons, it wouldn’t totally be out of character.

on the other hand, im sure it could be explained in a more innocent way. maybe she did touch me for health reasons. and she probably just didn’t care about my discomfort/fear/etc related to the showering and nakedness. it’s more likely that she simply didn’t care about my emotions, rather than her getting sexual pleasure from it. maybe it was just another part of her emotional abuse, except with weird physical contact and the violation of sexual boundaries, cause she really messed with me psychologically.

so is it still sexual abuse if the violation of boundaries and non-consensual touching of private areas wasn’t necessarily due to her being some kind of pedophile, but rather just not really caring or whatever? what even counts as sexual abuse/assault when it’s a woman doing it to another afab person? how can i explain it to my therapist when it’s all very complicated and unclear in my own head?

thank you for reading. hope you’re doing well.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about everything you've been through.

I don't think that a perpetrator must derive sexual gratification in order for it to be considered sexual abuse, because intent isn't more important than impact. Sometimes genitals need to be touched for medical reasons, but it sounds like it was used as an excuse here. Even if it were "accidental" which by the repeated nature of these situations it seems otherwise, what still transpired was SA. I think also what you mentioned about the additional emotional abuse strengthens the argument that she knew what she was doing. There's no explanation for watching you shower or showering with you at an older age where this wasn't necessary. There's no explanation for being made to sleep naked with her. There's no explanation for her ignoring you expressing your discomfort with all of this. It's ultimately up to you how to name your experiences, but you can call this SA, CSA, or incest if any feel fitting to you.

I'm glad to hear that you have a therapist you can talk to about this. However you feel comfortable explaining this to your therapist is okay. You don't have to have a concise narrative, it's okay to explain it in whatever way makes most sense to you, and your therapist can explore certain parts more in order to get a more comprehensive understanding.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[skiasurveys]

What does the shirt you are wearing look like?   its a grey oversized tshirt that says "All roads lead to rome" lol

What was the last thing that stressed you out or upset you?   school. I have like 9 assignments to do this week.

How do you stay positive with all that life throws at you?   I... don’t.  <- same

What quality do you admire most in other people?   being actually loyal.

What is the highest level of physical pain you have ever been in? rate 1-10   tw// abuse: probably when I got hit by my ex

...same question, but with emotional pain?   -- abuse

What is your most prized possession?   my macbook, it has all my stuff on it lol

Which youtuber do you feel like you could be friends with easily?   i feel like safiya and tyler, and maybe Molly Burke.

Do you like your natural hair color?   its alright. its brown.

Do you think you will dye your hair when you start going gray?   i was thinking this the other day.. maybe.

Are you pale right now, or do you have a tan?   pale

Do you think you look best with a tan?   yeah

What is your favorite app on your phone?   Twitter, Spotify, Tik Tok even tho that app is a curse, and Tumblr

How old were you when you got your first smartphone?   I was 14 I think

Do you ever meditate on Scripture?   sometimes actually

Are you living a life you want to escape from? or do you love your life?   im just living.

When was the last time you felt that life was good?   when i was manic

Do you have one big mistake that you've made that you want to fix?   not anymore. I made mistakes, but it got me to where I needed to be.

Do you wish people would forgive you for your past so you could move on?  yes 

Do you wear green on St. Patrick's day?   no. My dad died on saint pats, so..lmao

Are you Irish at all?   i dont think so

Do you pray to God every day?   sometimes

What are three things you are currently looking forward to doing soon?   sleeping, the last of us episode 9, and working ig

Do you ever dance in the rain?   No.

Have you ever sat on a rooftop?   no, i want to so badly 

Who is that last good musician or band you discovered?   I have no idea.. I think Grandson?

Do you like to watch talent shows like America's Got Talent and X Factor?   i used too but not anymore tbh.

Have you ever tried avocado toast?   yup, and i didnt mind it

Name three items on your wish list right now.  New Ipad for my art, new bed, and maybe a new phone.

Are you more talented musically or artistically or neither?   i guess art

Are you better at English or math?   English.

What were your best subjects in school?   Social Studies/ History and Art

What was your favorite subject in school?   Social or any art class. 

Have you ever visited a teacher at their home?   once when I was in kindergarten and she held a bbq at her house

How many windows are in your bedroom?   One.

Who was your first roommate?   i guess my ex boyfriend

Who was your first best friend (besides a sibling)?   Eden

Do you have a sibling who looks like you?   Not really. I have brown hair, and brown eyes, and my sister has blonde hair and blue eyes lol

Name three women you know who have lost a child.   -- I only know two.

Whose was the last funeral you attended or watched?   My dads like 10 years ago

What types of cancer are in your family, if any?   Breast

Do you have big dreams for your future?   I stopped dreaming.

Do you feel alone?   Yeah, quite terribly.

What is this month's calendar picture?   I dont use a physical one

What is the theme of your wall calendar for this year?   --

Have you ever seen a double rainbow?   Yes.

How old will you be on your next birthday?    27

Which nationalities have you been told you look like? (i.e., Asian, Irish) I got told I looked dominican but I dont see it

Have you ever had an outstanding library fine?   No.

What book are you currently reading? nothing atm

Are you poor/broke right now?   Im broke rn but I get paid soon

Have you ever received any scary, threatening messages on social media?  yeah, I got doxxed once

What is the name of your youtube channel?   I dont make youtube videos but i have a channel ig

How many subscribers do you have on youtube? like 110

Do you wish that life were more fair?   yup

Who was your first kiss?   his name was Brandon

Do you feel you have found your soulmate yet?   Nope.

Are you single or in a relationship?   Single

If you're single, do you want to be, or do you wish you weren't?   I wish I had someone but realistically atm i dont have time for one, and also i need to heal still i think

Ever collected shells at the beach?   i used too omg.

Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin?   carve

Who are three of your favorite youtubers to watch?   i have so many i watch but i guess atm- CallmeKevin, Kurtis Conner and maybe Markiplier, or Gamegrumps

What year did you graduate high school?   2015

What do you miss about high school?   I think what i miss is life wasnt as stressful as it is now, and i miss seeing friends every day.

What do you miss about college?   Im still in college

What color was your first car?   white

Do you have a car now?   yes

What color was the house you grew up in?   its like a light light teal

Growing up, what floor was your bedroom on?   top floor

What is your birth order in the family?   im oldest

What would your name be if you were the opposite gender?   I think mom said Nathan

What were you almost named?   Jaycee

Does your bedroom have carpet?   Yes.

Best camping experience?   i dont remember much from camping.

What are the top three travel destinations on your bucket list?   Iceland, Italy, and Japan i think

Do you get heartburn?   sometimes, i HATE it

What are three things you are known for in your town?   omg..idk.

What are three things you are known for on social media?   Stan accounts, I run a traumacore account as well on here, and my art i guess

What is your Instagram account name?   --

Have you ever used Snapchat?   Yes, but now I only use for selfies

Did you want to be famous when you were younger?   yes

What show did you most want to be on as a kid?   i didnt rly want to be on any

First celebrity you were obsessed with?   I think Joe Jonas

First celebrity crush?   Michael J Fox LMAOOOO

What was your first favorite stuffed animal?   I dont know my first. but Max my horse i got when i was 4, which i still have lol

What was something unique about you as a kid?   *annoying as fuck

Were you ever goth/emo?   technically I had a emo phase, but my mom nEVER let me fully unleash it lMAO

Do you want any more piercings?   i want them done

How many tattoos do you have?  Zero.

Do you want more tattoos?   I want to get one.

If you had to get a tattoo, what would you get?   I think a cute fox

Do you mostly write in cursive or print?   I think its kinda mix of print and cursive

Were you ever homeschooled?   nope

Describe your dream wedding in five words. too lazy

Pick three animals that you think resemble you, and why?   raccoon, rat, and a fox

Are you unique?   no

Do you get called a free spirit?   No.

What day of the week were you born on?   Thursday

How are you feeling right now? tired

[writeraid]

Am I going crazy? Would I even Know? Am I right back where I started fourteen eight years ago? Wanna guess the ending? If it ever does.

'Goodbye' From Bo Burnham's 'Inside' Backstory post for my little decently okay at-her-job artifact thief (I love her so much).

This is, as mentioned, a backstory post..and of course, because Moon Knight oc it has to have some level of darkness to it, so TW/CW for mentions of: Child Abuse, (what could be seen as) Child Abandonment, Death and Illness of a loved one, and non-graphic discussion of a fictitious suicide attempt. (Just trying to cover all of my bases here.)

(For the sake of timelines, I'm saying Riley is around sixteen and a half. This may not line up perfectly with the MCU timeline, but also the MCU timeline doesn't line up with the MCU timeline so.)

Riley's legal/birth name is Rebecca. She uses the name Riley as a way to distance herself from her family and her childhood, so for the purposes of this, I'm going to call her Riley.

Riley had it good in her early years, her parents were comfortably wealthy, often going on lavish vacations around the world. She was close to her grandfather, who loved all forms of archeology and mythology but never got the chance to experience it firsthand, who she often spent her time with. Unfortunately, he was diagnosed with a terminal illness around the time she turned nine, and this led to her family deciding to take him on one final trip to Greece, Egypt, and multiple other locations known for their ancient histories (It's late, history brain is asleep already.). At this time, her mother was on a downward spiral, becoming manipulative and emotionally abusive, often threatening her daughter with physical harm..something Riley never thought she'd actually act on...

It was while the family was in Egypt that things took a turn for the worse. Her grandfather's health hit a rapid decline prior to them leaving Greece, and he ultimately passed in a hospital in Athens. Wanting to give their daughter something else to think about, her parents didn't call off the trip, continuing on to the next country on their itinerary. Unfortunately, her grandfather's health wasn't the only thing that had gone downhill. Her mother had only grown more harsh as she had gotten older, despite having sworn to never be like her father. One night, while they were staying in Cairo, everything boiled over, and the woman's threats became a reality. Late that night, while her parents were sleeping, Riley snuck from their hotel room. Although her father wanted to stay and search for her, to bring his daughter home, her mother turned a blind eye. Riley was taken under the wing of an older Egyptian woman, who taught her how to speak Arabic (at least to be able to communicate.) and kept her fed.

...and then the blip happened around a year and a half later. The woman taking care of Riley wasn't blipped/snapped, but was a part of the loss that happened in the aftermath with car crashes and fires from unintended ovens and everything else. At age ten, Riley was left on her own. Between dealing with the trauma left by her mother, and now the death of the woman who'd been caring for her, the girl's mental health suffered. It was only a year later when she attempted to take her own life, only not succeeding because of the man who she now calls her boss, who then took her under his wing and taught her how to defend herself, and offered her her first job, stealing a piece of papyrus back from someone who had taken it from the tomb it had been found in. It was this time she began using the name Riley, and became an artifact theif.

Today, she keeps any evidence of her past close to herself. Her passsport and any other legal document with her birthname on it is like a sacred text to her, and she often hides her emotions behind a thick wall, often appearing as distant at first. Although, she does still have a small collection off cloth dolls she sometimes brings along with her on jobs that take longer than a day as a kind of comfort.

[nightwatcherraph]

tw for emotional abuse

Kid: *expresses any emotion other then happy*

Parents: you watch to much tv or play to much video games

Kids as adults: *express any emotion that isn’t happy or being agreeable

Parents: you are an adult act like it you clearly can’t handle adult stuff.

Happens to me a lot I express any emotion my parents threaten to take away my “privileges” because I can’t handle it just because I defend myself against their abuse. Sometimes they make it hard to want to keep on living. They just keep threatening to take my stuff and not let me do things because I argue with them or don’t do what they want. If I defend myself I am told I can’t handle being an adult. I guess no matter what I do it’s never going to be enough.

[lil-gingerbread-queen]

Rant incoming

I saw my father for the first time in three years since I ran away from home. I have feelings about it.

(tw: abuse from parents, emotional abuse, financial abuse, psychological abuse, ableism, threat of suicide, suicidal ideation)

So, it wasn’t bad but it wasn't great either.

I was so happy to see my father again, and we didn't argue (or more like, I didn't argue when I should have and he was in a people pleasing mood because he didn't want to fuck it up)

That's the good things. Now, for the bad things.

No apologies. None. None for the the way I was raised, none about his behavior with me, none about our last fight, the day before I ran away, where he told me he was going to kill himself because of me, because I couldn't be normal and not depressed. And it's so normal in this family to not give apologies, I was always the only ones apologizing when I hurt others. We are supposed to forgive and forget, and my mother always hated that I wouldn't. I remember how she would complain about it, about how I always remember "the bad things". I was painted as the bad guy for it, because you are not supposed to bring up the bad things. No apology, and it will be done again, but forgive and forget. And I know I will be the bad guy again when I'll bring it up.

For him, there was a fight (the one where he said he was going to kill himself, and he didn't apologized for) and I ran away. There was NOTHING else wrong with our family. Nothing else ever happens. Which is why I started to plan to run away months before it happens, why we had arguments so often, why I was depressed before my age was two numbers, why I wanted to die since a young age, why I wrote so many letters about how unloved and sad I felt, which were definitely a lot like suicidal letters, and I destroyed them because I was scared of how my mother would react, why when they finally found one I was yelled at and told again and again how difficult I was, how much of a bad guy I was for remembering the bad things, how I was so hard to raise because I wasn't normal (adhd + depression + anxiety, which I wasn't diagnosed with as a child because my mother fought I should just make efforts to be normal. Even when I got meds for my anxiety, she shamed me for them and took them away.) No, it was just one fight. Nothing else, I guess. Because I wasn't told I was a waste of money, I wasn't punished for stuffs my sister broke and had to buy the objects myself when I was not even in age to have a job (which means using my christmas money), my mother didn't find it fun to threaten me at ALL and wouldn't get a kick of yelling at me, or threatened to find something to be angry about so she could yell at me, all while smiling so happily, because she was bored or wanted me to shut up. I wasn’t told by my mother I was unlovable, that nobody would either love me, that if my teachers treated me badly it was my fault for not being normal, that the only reason I had good grades was that the male teachers liked my chest (not true, btw). Just one fight.

He spoke like it was just a question of time before I would speak to my mother again. But I do not want to see her ever again, I hate her, and I know that I will be the bad guy if I said it out loud. There was not talk about her being sorry for her behaviors or words, about her having change or work on herself... No, it was just one fight and I will go home to the mother that "love" me when I shut up and do exactly what she wants, the mother who told me so many times I was a burden, ruining her life, not doing enough to fix myself and be normal. I hate it, because everyone expects me to talk to her again one day. Even my psychologist, because it's the only way for me to have a good relationship with my family, that I cannot expect them to drop her abusive ass. I hate her, but also, I'm terrified of her. She is fake and the best manipulator I know. I had a fucking panic attack when my psychiatrist asked if she could met her, because I was so scared she would manipulate her into believing I was lying and she is an angel, like she always does. I am certain she would have killed me if she could get away with it, she hates how I never fell for her bs.

He went to therapy. He was diagnosed with depression. He got treated for depression. No shit, sherlock, he was crying when he told me he was going to kill yourself because of me. I really thought he would. I ran away, hurt and miserable, with the fear that one of the persons I love the most was going to kill themself because of my existence. It haunted me for a year, this fucking fear. And I get no apology.

I told him I was scared to disappoint him, because I still have no jobs and I cannot drive (both because of my mental health. My anxiety is way too high to hide during job interviews, and nobody wants an anxious worker who cannot talk to clients. My anxiety also doesn't let me concentrate on the road, and I had so many panic attacks while driving because it stresses me out. My parents never tried to understand, and I tried to explain it MANY times) He said I would never disappoint him, that I never did. And I felt so sad, so betrayed, because that's not true at all. He yelled at me so much when I tried to learn to drive with him, to the point that my sister didn't want to be in the car if I was driving. There was an argument a year before I ran away where he was so mad at me because I refused to drive (I had started anxiety meds it is literally illegal to drive when you take it. I am not risking my life, thank you) and for other shit (about me not tidying my room to his taste), that he THREW a small furniture at me. And my mother came to lecture me while I was crying, refusing to let me out of the room until I apologized for my arrogance to think I could choose to not drive, and apologized for the burden I was for not being "adult enough". I was able to escape and I ran away outside, in the fields behind our house. My father came to find me later and it was never spoke about again, but fuck was it awful. Also, I had multiple awful lectures about how I didn't have a job or knew how to drive since I was 18. But, as always, I'm the only one who remembers and I'm the bad guy for it.

There was also other little things (like how he pointed out flaws of mine I grew up being shamed for by them, like how I think I'm always right, which I don't know if it's true or not because it was to shame me for not agreeing with them, or how I speak too much, which I'm extremely ashamed about, probably comes from the adhd they ignored, and my mother would often tell me how boring I was and laughed at me for being a nerd)

Nothing has changed. Nothing has changed and I'm going to have to be brave again, and stand up for myself, and tell them again what is wrong, and being painted as the bad guy again, and being yelled at maybe, and I will lose everything again. I'm tired. I'm just so fucking tired. I'm so scared he will not listen to me, he will dismiss it like he always did, and I will have to accept that she won. I have told them so many times growing up all the things I didn't like with the way they were treating me. I wrote to them about it. I tried SO HARD to fix it myself. I showed them the problems. They just never listened, and I know my mother never cared. She knows, and I know she knows, that she is a terrible mother, because she is so sneaky about it, so smart, so angry if it gets out. She knows very well, she doesn't care. And everyone buy her bs.

There's no justice for me. All I want is for her to admit to everyone, not me, EVERYONE ELSE, that she treated me awfully. But she never will, and everyone will always listen to her and believe her over me. Even after she's dead, I will be the bad guy for refusing to seeing her and talking shit about the dead.

[r0ttingsystem]

Felt cute, might delete later :3 -G

a little (very long) vent from grian (co written by Lio because grian is dumb)

Technically collective vent too? Idk

Tw description of abuse (emotional, sexual), grooming?

I don't understand what's wrong with my brain

I miss her

And I miss how she made me feel

She made me feel so special

Which yea makes sense I guess because she borderline groomed me

But like

I miss the bad shit

I miss when she would make me go into crisis almost daily because she just felt like it (I'm being so fr rn, she would laugh afterwards) because when she did that it would 1) mean that we would be talking in call and 2) she would baby me and coddle me afterwards

I miss when I would have to beg and cry for her to not make me do sexual shit (which rarely worked btw) and I miss when I would cry and scream and fake orgasms so she would let me stop because I would have her full attention and she would care for me after

I miss her stressing me out so much that I would regress constantly (this was before I became permanently a little due to her, fun fact but I'm normally meant to be 14/15 and not 4)

I miss being put to bed

I miss being on call 24/7

I miss being cared for

I was happy, I would be constantly in fight or flight mode because she would get cold and sometimes threaten to harm herself if I didn't do what she wanted, but I was happy

I was cared for, only if I did what she said and didn't talk to anyone else, but I was cared for

She calmed me down after panic attacks, she would stay on call at all times and would do stuff with me, she would be there

Then she got cold

And left

I remember that night

I remember waiting her for to reply, looking at the chat like a dog waiting for its owner for literal hours

I remember my heart dropping when I realized she wasn't going to reply

I keep looking for her in all the people we talk to

I keep looking for someone who'll show the same amount of care she did

Even if they hurt me, they'll at least make me feel special

Nobody is like her, which is guess is good? I don't know

But that means that everyone is "cold"

And I keep feeling like they're about to leave

If they don't talk to me 24/7 they might as well leave right?

I know that's not the case but It feels like it

And it hurts so bad

So. Fucking. Bad.

I can feel my heart being ripped out of my chest every time I catch myself blankly looking at our chats, waiting for them to reply

It feels like that whole year is replaying in my head in one second

That that happens every day, multiple times

It hurts

And it's so hard to come to terms that nobody is going to love me

And I understand, I'm too much work, genuinely too much work

I'm too much

But I'm looking for love everywhere I can, but I won't find it

I know I won't find it

Nobody deserves to have to deal with the mess that is me

I'm GLAD nobody has to deal with me, but it hurts

I just want love

I just want to be cared for

But that's too much to ask for

I believe in soulmates, but I don't think mine exists

I'm beginning to understand that other people aren't "right person wrong time" or "wrong person right time" for me, I'm the wrong person, and it'll always be the wrong time

I wish I wasn't like this

I wish I didn't make all of us like this, so difficult, so complicated

I'm so sorry, to everyone

I'm sorry to my headmates

I'm sorry to my family

I'm sorry to my mom

I'm sorry to my brothers

I'm sorry to everyone

I'm sorry to our friends

I'm sorry to lilly

I'm sorry to eirhnh

I'm sorry to Connor

I'm sorry to jack

I'm sorry to angelos

I'm sorry to basilis

I'm sorry to valentina

I'm sorry to eudokia and despina and everyone else

I'm more then sorry to Comet-Collective, who's seen a lot of the uglier sides of me

I'm sorry

I'm sorry to everyone who's had the displeasure of talking to me

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry

I wish I wasn't like this too

I wish I didn't exist too

I try to numb myself into not existing but it never works

I promise I'll find a way to make it up to all of you

I'll find a way to make knowing me worth it

Until then, I'm sorry

[plethodontidae]

i cannot be here anymore

[thecameronchronicles]

The Heart Wants What It Wants

TW: Severe toxic relationship. Emotional Abuse. Language. Degrading Language. Smut. Violence. 

SUMMARY: You and Rafe are Toxic. Your love is the result of manipulation from the kook prince himself. And yet, you’re both too consumed and obsessed to walk away…

WORD COUNT: 3100

*REQUESTED*

The Heart Wants What It Wants

Codependent. Manipulative. Possessive. 

No matter the word used, you and Rafe were toxic. 

Where compassion and understanding should exist at the forefront, came jealousy and domination. A silent set of guidelines always lingered in existence in the games you played against one another; allowing others your flirtations just to get a rise out of one another, doing this for the sole purpose of entertaining yourselves with just how you’d tear into each other once alone. 

Every kink imaginable had been exercised at least once as your favorites became a common practice. Along with this, there wasn’t a sin or sexual position you hadn’t indulged in or fantasy you hadn’t made a reality-no matter how depraved or painful. And there were no collection of words from friends or threats from family that would convince you of anything but their jealousy and misunderstanding. 

This would be shown in the way Rafe buried his cock inside of you with the intent to take you in public; to be exact, the dining room table at the crux of Tannyhill, as Ward and Rose came upon you in disgust. The sight was exhilarating for you in what was traumatizing for them; hips rushing together in thrusts, gasps and moans spoken between vulgarities, and the sight of your back rising into an arch as he brought you to a mutual orgasm before those trying to keep you apart. 

Of course, they had their reasons for doing so as you were once the perfect straight-laced girl, much like his own sister, Sarah. Not a cross word spoken to anyone unkind and a future as bright as could be, he’d convinced you he’d protect and care for you, only to guilt you into sharing his addictions until the only thing you loved more than Rafe was the high from the cocaine you’d do off of one another. 

You were in tears more than you smiled and yelled more than discussed. But it was always the ways he’d come to you in tears, contorting your sympathy behind gaslighting and guilt, that kept you at his side, unapologetically and loyally. And all of this was only scratching the surface of your relationship, which brought you to your most recent tiff…

“Are you fucking kidding me, Rafe?!” You scolded, finding him upon the back porch of Tannyhill, rising from over a recent bend and rubbing his nose to signal that he’d taken a hit just seconds prior to your arrival. 

“Nice to see you too…” He laughed, the burn of his inhalation numbing just as quickly as it had been consumed as you’d remained steadfast with your hands on your hips, his eyes trained against your curves as you glared at him. 

“This is a new low-even for YOU.” He reclined back into his chosen seat, hands rising through his hair, before a deep exhale relaxed him into the showcase of your dramatizations. 

“Am I just supposed to guess-”

“YOU OFFERED ME TO BARRY FOR DRUGS?!” Once again, he found humor in your anger,even though you’d more than proven you were just as rough and volatile as he could be, once provoked. 

“Like you wouldn’t have fucked him just for a hit anyway-” He spoke coldly, harshly, and enough to draw your eyes into a hard line of a further narrow. Because of this, you reached to the bag of blow and held it over the railing, threatening to release it to the wind to get his attention. 

“You’ll get over it…now give that back before I prove to you how impatient I am-”

But to this, you would turn your back to him, acting against him calling your bluff as he’d rush behind you, rough hands eating into your arms as you were pulled against the railing. 

“You’re such a fucking bitch, you know that?! I swear to God if I- '' But to this, you revealed how the bag remained in your possession, a cock of his jaw showing the awe of how he adored this yo-yo treatment you’d always put him through. 

“If you wanted it for yourself, you could have just said so. Don’t fuck with me like that…” He reached for it, forced to press himself against you, as you stretched further. 

“Give it to me.” He spoke through clenched teeth as you extended even further, a cruel grip of your jaw and a twist from humored to annoyed lining his voice, brought his command to you again. 

“Cunt-” He spoke beneath his breath, apprehending what he desired as you rolled your eyes, this word spoken in such repetition that it was now indifferent to what once enraged you. 

“Draw me a line, would ya?” You asked, pulling the sweater from your arms to become more comfortable, as he pulled the rolled twenty from the table before using his father’s credit card to create the perfect little line in wait for you, its promise of that chaotic high beckoning to you against your morality begging you to act otherwise. 

The second you sat at his side, he pulled your hair into a makeshift ponytail to guide you forward, watching the line disappear through the vestibule at a pinch between your fingers, as he allowed you to lift to him, only to take the remnants from the table and press it against your lips. Once spread to his satisfaction, he would then press the most thorough of kisses, starting with his tongue tracing that blur of coke across yoru kiss. 

The mix of highs was enough to forgive him temporarily as you’d been pulled into a straddle across his hips, the feeling of his cock signaling his desire for you. And so with the initial break of this kiss for breath, you’d taken it upon yourself to descend further with your lips until resting at his neck, his erratic pulse raging against your mouth. 

“Did you uh…DID you get more?” He asked, a hint of hesitation in his voice as he had slipped his fingers beneath the edge of your shirt, clawing at the skin beneath. 

You answered by lifting the new bag from your back pocket, a smile breaking from your lips against his neck, as he’d suddenly rejected you to the other side of the couch. 

“What the hell-”

“So you DID fuck him?” Before you could answer, he was already on his feet, pacing the width of the porch in an aggressive stomp, fingers rising to his temples. 

“YOU made the deal, Rafe…”

“Didn’t mean you HAD to fuck him!” You scoffed in disbelief as he continued. 

“So he came inside you then? Huh? You show up HERE dripping with HIM?!” You couldn’t help yourself to comment, the words leaving your lips before you could even think of an alternative. 

“SO what if I did?” His gait and gaze froze to you in equal measure before he clenched his jaw but raised his brows as if offering you a chance to apologize or explain how it had been a lie. 

“You don’t like the idea? Isn’t that why you offered me as collateral?” You were now on your feet, moving to him as he tensed with each step in which you closed the distance between you. 

“Hmm?” You teased, fingers running over his polo to feel the exact rigidity your words forced into his breaths constricting from his anger, “For him to touch me? Take off your favorite pair of panties and fuck me until I spilled over with his cum-”

“Shut the fuck up-”

“He was so big Rafe…Even bigger than you…” A harsh grip in your hair held you in place as he set a firm slap to your cheek. 

“You let him fuck you, huh? You let him inside MY pussy? You let him come inside MY pussy?” You only smiled as he now had you back on the couch, one hand wrapped painfully in your hair as the other was dismantling his belt. 

“You gonna let him take you like a whore, you’re gonna BE one for ME.” He ordered as you’d obliged, too aroused to deny him what you wanted. For this, you kept your eyes to him, just as you know he’d adored, before taking him into your mouth. 

“No-You’re gonna choke on my cock until you can’t fucking breathe-cry for me-show me how sorry you are.” You opened your throat to him, allowing yourself to be used despite the retch caused by his unkind thrusts into your mouth. The sensitivity of your reflex was tested and abused in every degree before he’d finally taken himself out of you. Tears streaming down your cheeks, lips swollen in repetitious penetration, and the most desperate of breaths interrupted as he’d drown you in his length. 

“You take his dick like this, huh baby? You look up at him like you are at me?” You shook your head ‘no’ as he would only scoff. 

“Fucking liar! I know he wouldn’t have lasted as long.” He rounded his second hand to your hair, making it stationary before the flexes of his hips, tears from you and salt from his precum having mixed within each input and withdrawal until he’d used you to the extent he believed was necessary. 

“Had enough?” He teased, just as breathless as you, although he had been in pleasure whereas yours had been in deprivation. And yet, you continued to push his patience-if such a thing even existed within him anymore. 

“Never.” His jaw cocked as he forced you onto your back, pulling your shorts from your waist before fixating on the lace panties that were his favorite red set, as you’d mentioned earlier. 

“You this wet from me? Fuck! I haven’t even touched you yet, you fucking whore…” He chortled as his eyes suddenly fixated upon a small bandage upon your left thigh, a simple sheet of gauze kept to your skin with medical tape. 

“YOU LET HIM MARK YOU?! I DON’T FUCKING THINK SO!” He tore off the bandage only to pause in disbelief. Every ounce of anger faded from once he noticed that he’d been wrong. The only time in his life in which he’d ever gladly admit it as that scowl altered into excitement. 

Before you could comment, his fingers traced over the fresh tattoo before his gaze, the sight of his initials forever etched into your skin. This sign of commitment having supplied a forgiveness as his eyes hadn’t wavered from it for even a second. 

“Shit….” He finally breathed, his gaze only finding yours when you chuckled. 

“I’m yours Rafe…I always will be-”

“Did HE see that?” You shook your head ‘no’, as some semblance of aggression returned behind the usual cool sapphire of his irises darkening in anger once again. 

“He never touched me…”

“Then how did you get-”

“I paid for it, Rafe.” You huffed. “I don’t expect my dad to fix my mistakes for me…” His eyes narrowed. “I don’t need anyone to-”

“And what about me, huh? How are you gonna make it up to ME? You think I deserve to be toyed with?” He questioned while you forced him into a sitting position to where you could straddle him, his dominance weaning just long enough for this change of pose. But once again that domineering and preying look in his eyes faltered once his fingers came to that tattoo once again. 

“So fucking sexy…” He muttered as you grinned. 

“I hope you like it because it hurt like hell…” You explained, his fingers adorning the calligraphy making up the “R” and “C” of his initials. “I just hope the guy I’m with after you has the same initials or-” He suddenly took an aggressive hold of your jaw. 

“There will never be another guy after me. I own you, baby. Every fucking part of you…” His hand ran the width of your hips, pulling you harder into him. “All the things your dirty little mouth says and does…the way you feel when I’m inside of you-ONLY ME-Say it-tell me you’re mine.”

“I’m yours, Rafe-” You spoke softly, too winded from an aching throat and his aggression to argue-at least for the moment. 

“Prove it.” He demanded as you’d feel him tear the edges of your panties until they were nothing but useless fabric. 

“Rafe!”

“You know I’ll buy you new ones, now shut that pretty little mouth before I come in it.” You rolled your eyes half in arousal and half in annoyance to his potentially empty threat, before he’d rammed himself up into you. Whenever his fingers would trace the sensitive raised skin of your recent tattoo, he would unleash himself within you in rough pistons reminding you how deeply his desire for you ran. Truly feral. As if you’d ever have to question this, even in the rare occasions in which you fought-that always ended with riotous sex, you knew he’d always wanted. 

“Stop moving!” He grunted, holding you in place. “I’m gonna make you ache for days baby!” His hand to your ass made you gasp before he’d pulled both of your hands behind your back, exposing the tattoo once more. 

“GOD! That fucking tattoo is making me need to come inside of you!”

“Can’t last?” You teased as he growled. 

“Just because I come doesn’t mean I’m fucking done with you.” He used his second hand against your throat, squeezing you tight enough to restrict your oxygen, but knowing your limits and therefore releasing you when you’d reached your extent.

“I’m gonna come because I’ve earned it, because you’ve pushed my buttons and I can’t wait-I shouldn’t have to. But then I’m gonna eat you out until you go hoarse, squirting all over my family’s house, and then I’m gonna fuck you from behind until you’re trembling-and then I’ll do it again just to prove what that fucking tattoo does to me, understand?” You nodded, excitable for what was to come, as he’d stuck to his promise. 

Unsteady thrusts brought his release to you, your name chorused in pleas while he’d painted your walls with his seed. But the usual embrace he’d keep you in was interrupted and replaced with your back suddenly upon the table, your legs taken over each of his shoulders while he’d taken his tongue to your clit. 

For the way you’d tormented him at the torture of Barry and yoru attitude, he’d edge you in repetition, your desperation coming to him as threats, before he’d mend this mometnarily by drawing a line of remaining coke to the dip of your thigh and curve of your navel, getting high off of your body in every sense, before returning to his flicks. 

“FUCK!” He belted as he’d smirk into you, well aware exactly where to draw the stripes of his tongue as he’d left your nipples numb with the remaining cocaine set upon his fingers now rubbed into your erect apexes at attention for him. The sensations having been too much to endure as you’d erupted as he’d guaranteed you would. 

“Not even halfway done, baby…”He explained, taking you between his legs until your back was at a rest against his chest. 

“Come on…You need to do this for me…You need to earn my forgiveness for being such a little bitch…a little slut…” He pulled your hair, forcing you to rest at his shoulder while you’d feel him rage against your clit with his fingertips. 

“Let go baby…I’m gonna make you squirt all over this fucking deck…Come on…Come for me baby…Let me prove I’m all you’ll ever need.” 

“Rafe! OH MY GOD! It’s TOO MUCH!”

“It’s never enough.” You nodded in this contradicting truth as you’d buckle around his fingers again, your fingers digging into his wrist before he’d now bend you over the arm of the couch, the same harsh thrusts from before returning to you as he’d bottomed out in each extension. Perspiration and vulgarity mixed between you as he’d shown his appreciation for your tattoo by reminding you of it, pulling at your neck and your breasts in desperation, before quickening his thrusts. 

“You’re gonna wear the shortest dresses and the smallest of bikinis so everyone can see that fucking tattoo-so everyone knows you’re fucking me!”

“They already know, Rafe-” You teased as he pulled your jaw to face him, a rough kiss rivaling your attitude as you were left in a smirk as he bent you forward once again. 

“And now they always will…FUCK!” He winced. 

“Faster! Please Rafe! I need to come!”

“Two not enough for you?”

“NEVER!” 

“Then fuck me back-yeah, JUST LIKE THAT…” He forced you to ram back against him, an impossible depth reached by your mutual thrusts and retractions. “Come on, earn my cum baby…drain me fucking dry-show me how fuckin’ sorry you are for being a bitch-”

“Rafe! I’m sorry-”

“How sorry?”

“SO FUCKING SORRY!” He nodded. 

“I know baby…I can feel you clenching-goddammit!” He grunted. 

“Come one more time fo rme baby, I know yo’ve got in in you…come on…come the fuck on, I’m getting impatient baby!”

“RA-RA-RAAFFEE!” With the final belt of his name, you’d become spent for the third time in less than an hour, your entire body numb as he’d force you back onto your knees, just as you’d started. 

“I want you to taste yourself off of me-see what I have to fucking deal with…How sweet you always are…And then I want you to choke on how much I’ll come down that tight little throat-” You nodded, allowing him to fuck into your throat once again, the release only brought during the tire of his stamina, leaving behind lust blown eyes and tears just as before. 

Your name sung out in broken eloquence behind a series of curses and moans until he’d finally shot his load down your throat, the most decadent of moans from your mouth reverberating through each and every one of his nerves. His body tensed as he forced you back to your feet. 

“You ever screw with me like that again and you’ll never come again…That will be the last time you’ll know my cock-understand?” You nodded. 

“Good. Now lay down…I want to look at my brand…” He grinned as you’d obeyed, used and winded from the last sixty minutes of being abused and allowing it with vigor…

Yes, you and Rafe were toxic. But it was where you thrived…

@hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets

[saltymongoose]

Hi, are your requests still open?? Or I'll even pay you to write something too.

If they are, can I request fic with Deimos, Hank, 2B, and Sanford protecting and comforting a FTM(not transitioned yet) reader that is their partner. They protect him from an abusive family member? If that's not okay then maybe just comforting them on a really really bad dysphoria day?

I'm dealing with major family issues rn on top of my HEDS/POTS flair ups and I'm just breaking down and need some comfort from my boys that would def hug me and kiss me and tell me im okay and tell my family members to "Fuck off cuz I am a real man." I'm trying to draw some art too... but I have major art block art.. but your writing Is amazing and inspirational. I always look forward to everything you do. You are my hero and I wish I could write like you. Thank you for everything you do and please take care of yourself! Drink and eat pls!!❤️❤️❤️

Also this is the first time I'm asking something and I'm to nervous to come of anon so I guess you could call me...Kai? Thanks and sorry if this is too much yiu can ignore it

I'm sorry to hear about everything you've been going through Kai, it's beyond awful to have family members who're so unsupportive and damaging. :( I'd be more than happy to provide some comfort and protection from the boys for you, and as always, free of charge. <3 (Thank you so so much for your kind words as well, they're awfully sweet of you to say and reading them made me pretty emotional haha. I'm glad you like my work so much, it's readers like yourself that make writing so fulfilling for me, so thank you for that as well. And please take care of yourself too, of course. :)) 💕

[Part 1] They Protect a Transmasc!Reader from their Abusive Family ft. Hank & Sanford

(TW: Transphobia, Verbal Abuse, Violence (they're not yandere but still, it's Madcom), ft. Transmasc!Reader) //- {PART 2 HERE <3} -//

- [HANK J. WIMBLETON] -

Anyone who knows of your significance to Hank would realize that it’s not exactly a good idea to try anything against you, whether it be trying to make you uncomfortable or attacking you physically.

Your partner is the most wanted man in Nevada, and he has absolutely no patience when it comes to anyone or anything threatening you, period. It doesn’t matter if it’s some random grunt on the street, or some agent Doc insists he works with, or even if they’re an Employer. If they hurt you in any way, shape, or form, he’s paying them back for it tenfold.

It’s only right since you’re likely a target simply for your relationship with him and he considers it his “job” to protect the people he loves. And by that, just you, really. He can’t even remember the names of the other SQ members he works with 90% of the time, so you’re it for him. Although this just means all of his protective instincts are centered on a single person, which if anything would be more of a deterrent. (For mildly intelligent people, at least.)

However, while he never expected your family of all groups to be added to his “blacklist”, he isn’t averse to going after them the same way he does all your other persecutors. Hank genuinely couldn’t care less about their blood relation with you or any history you have with them; he solves nearly all his problems with violence anyway, so another set of bodies means very little to him in the long run. (Bear in mind, he won’t outright kill them in front of you, you don’t need to see that.)

Though because you’d generally prefer not to have to deal with organizing a funeral or explaining why your significant other gunned down your family (to your other family members who you'd prefer not to speak to), you made him swear not to kill them. A shame since they more than deserved it to him, but you're one of the few people Hank actually listens to, so he'll go along with it.

However, you never told him that he couldn't be violent with his protectiveness, even if they didn't end up dead.

So when he happens to be accompanying you to your family’s place to fetch some of your things and someone decides to make a little unwelcome comment about you (something about how you’re “never gonna be a real man”, whatever that means), he bristles when he hears the words. The look of discomfort and sadness on your face immediately drives him to physically threaten them; he's quick to invade the offending family member's space, anger coursing through his veins as a hand reaches for one of his knives.

It doesn’t take long for whoever made the comment to be thrown to their knees, a blade at their throat before you’re able to stop him. He's always been impulsive, and what they've just done to you would be enough to warrant murder if it were from anyone else. (They should consider themselves lucky you were more merciful than he was.)

He can only think of the look of your frowning visage as he grabs their jaw harshly, almost driving the knife into them as they jolt in his grasp. He usually doesn't care about insults, but if they're against you and targeting something so intrinsic to who you are, it's enough to piss him off immensely on your behalf, to say the least.

"Newsflash, asshole. Nobody asked for your dogshit opinion," he hisses, jostling your terrified family member before forcefully turning them to look in your direction. "See him? He's a real man. If you're too stupid to understand that, that's on you. But if you say anything like that to my boyfriend again, I'll fucking kill you, understand, dipshit?"

You know it's more of a bluff than a genuine promise, given the fact that you've been over this with him before. (Or at least you think so.) You ignore your family member's pleading for Hank to let them go, as well as the other people in the house who've come to watch, still feeling hurt at their comment. Having your partner there made it better, but it still didn't lessen the sting of the words themselves.

Hank notices this of course and will drop the offending individual to the floor (paying no mind to how their skull painfully hits the concrete below them, whoops) so he can pick you up protectively and remove you from the situation entirely. You let him, of course, silently eyeing your family from over his bicep as you snuggle into his arms, relaxing a little for once that evening.

The complete juxtaposition in Hank's behavior the moment you two exit through the front door is honestly amusing to you in retrospect, but in your sickened feelings at what just happened you don't notice it. He holds you tighter to himself as he walks, leaning down to press his forehead to yours and nuzzle into your temple. You told him once that his purring was comforting for you, so he'll do it here, and loudly too. He's relieved when he feels you sink into his grasp more at all his affection, but he can tell what just happened is still weighing on you.

Despite excelling at dealing with matters physically, Hank is very inept at anything concerning emotions (and to his credit, he knows it very well). He'll still try though since you need the encouragement and he hates seeing that despondent look on you. (He also just loves you and wants you to be alright, but that's hardly anything new.)

"You okay?" He rasps lowly, almost whispering to you, and you give a strained half smile in response. He tilts his head in concern and you sigh, reaching up to cup his cheek and watching as he leans into your hand absentmindedly.

"Not really, no, that was…a lot. I will be though, eventually…Thanks for that, by the way," you say, voice small as you rest your head on his chest. It’s funny, you were only there for forty-five minutes and you’re exhausted. This only makes you doubly grateful for your partner being willing to carry you and comfort you physically, even when you don’t feel like talking.

You could feel him nod resolutely against your hand, the only reply you’ll get from him on this matter. His silence is fine with you; you were so close that you didn’t need words to understand his view anyway. Especially not with how he makes sure to hold you as close to him as possible on the way back, wrapping you up tightly in his arms as if to protect you from the rest of the world as he takes you back home, where you’ll be safe from everything else.

Hank’s type of care is a strange one. Filled with gentle touches and harsh protectiveness, Nevada’s most infamous mass murderer is nothing if not soft around you. You were a point of vulnerability for him, but one that he welcomed with open arms. He’d rather die than let something happen to you (and he’d be very willing to if it came down t it). Even if the threat isn’t incredibly violent, his main priority is your well-being, whether that be your physical or mental health. Perhaps this is why you feel comfortable enough to fall asleep in his arms, content that he’d keep you safe as you went home. He wouldn’t let anything happen to you and you knew it. After all, he loves you beyond belief, just as you do him.

- [SANFORD] -

As one of the few people in Nevada who actually has a semi-intact family in his life, Sanford knows the true value of having close relationships with your parents and/or siblings. However, he realizes that your family is also the people who can cause you the most suffering. They know every little button to press to get a reaction, and it's only elevated to a more painful level if they don’t accept you for who you truly are.

In all likelihood, you’ve confided to him before about your familial situation, and what he heard both depressed and angered him. How anyone could be so awful to you is just beyond him; you’re one of the nicest people he’s had the pleasure of coming across and he wouldn’t trade you for everything, why would your family do you so much harm purposefully?

The feeling of disgust only festers with each time you tell him about another one of your family's abusive actions towards you, and he honestly considers just suggesting you cut them off. They don't deserve to have someone like you around them, just as you don't deserve to be mistreated for something as simple as your gender identity. You don't need to justify who you are to them, and the fact that they badger you about it and degrade you is enough to make his blood boil.

You probably don't see your family that often anyway, cause once you two got together he was fully willing to just get a place with you away from anywhere having to do with them. The further the better. (The last thing he wanted to happen was for them to encounter you when you went out for groceries or ran errands. More distance meant more safety from them, after all.)

It's not that he wants to isolate you or anything like that, and really you're free to do what you want, he just doesn't want to run the risk of them hurting you more than they have already. As such, he’s hesitant to even drive you to visit them, to be completely honest. You don’t deserve to be put in a potentially abusive situation, but if you have to be around your family for whatever reason, he insists on accompanying you.

He holds your hand the entire way there, throwing you soft looks to gauge your mood and running a thumb over your knuckles when he sees your nervous posturing. He hopes that his reassurance will help in some way, even if he's also dreading encountering your family.

He's tense at your side the moment you both walk through the door to your family's home, putting himself between you and any family members as he oversees your interactions. Most would feel threatened by his posturing; it’d be quite obvious that he’s acting as sort of a sentinel for you, and having someone like him as a protector should be a deterrent to any awful behavior. Lest they end up suffering some harsh consequences for their actions.

But of course, this doesn’t stop some people. Perhaps they just walked in and saw you, thinking you were on your own and taking it as an opportunity to slew some abuse at you, completely oblivious to the fact that your partner was just across the room. Or maybe they were just ignorant enough to believe your partner wouldn’t protect you from them.

However, they’ll notice and realize the reality of the situation soon enough. It’s impossible not to when they open their mouth to make a disparaging comment about you and are met with a painfully tight grip on their shoulder and the broad form of your boyfriend looming over them.

You'll notice that their abusive remark is cut off by a sharp squeak, and turn to see them looking almost sickly with fear at your boyfriend. The same whose glare seems to darken when they have the nerve to send a pleading glance towards you to make him stop, as if they're not the one who tried to verbally attack you in the first place.

No matter, he'll helpfully twist them around so he's all they see instead. (Quickly too, since he hated the way you seemed to freeze when they tried to make eye contact with you.) The perpetrator is terrified to their core since they know very well about who he is, but the short apologies they try to stammer out don't quell any of Sanford's anger at them. It's not him they should be apologizing to.

He'd even consider forcing them to right that moment if he couldn't read you as well as he does. He knows from your shaky motions and quick glances back at him that having any prolonged contact with them would probably just risk upsetting you more, and besides, what kind of a partner would he be if he brought his boyfriend's abuser closer to him?

Despite this, he won't let go of them. He's almost like a guard dog that's latched onto someone, unwilling to let them move a mere inch away as you go about your business. While you're distracted, he'll even lean down to get uncomfortably close to your family member to give them a bit of a warning, silently delighting in how they jump at his sudden movements.

"You aren't gonna say another fucking word to him, understand?" He hisses, "None of this shit about you not understanding that he's a man - cause that's what he is, dumbass. You can fuck off if you think I'll just let you insult him like that, or I'll make you wish you knew better."

They nod frantically, and he gives them a sardonic, if not outright threatening grin. Just in time too, as you turn back to them with some personal belongings gathered in your arms. You don't look at your family member when you approach, but Sanford's quick to disregard them as well once you're a meter or two from them. (He doesn't want you to have to be too close to them, anyway).

He gives their shoulder one last squeeze, threatening to pierce their skin with his claws before he lets go and returns to your side. You find it slightly amusing that he insists on wiping his hand off on his pants before he holds yours again, and as you exit the building he makes a joke about not wanting any "filth" to touch you. It makes you smile a bit, which relieves him.

He has a thoughtful look on his face as he helps you into his truck, one he always seems to get whenever the topic of your family comes up. You give him a few questioning glances, silently prodding at what's eating away at him as he seems to mull over something for a moment. He then turns to you, giving you a warm smile.

“I’m really proud of you, you know? I don't know how I'd be if my family pulled something like that with me," he remarks, giving you a playful glare when you shrug and avert your eyes, already beginning to formulate some sort of retort to his praise.

"I mean, I didn't do very much-"

"Not this time, I guess, at least not physically. But you've dealt with their shit for years, so I'd say you're stronger than you think you are." He states simply, a tone of finality in his words. Under no circumstance would he let you downplay or disregard your own feelings and role in this; so what if you didn't want to get in their face as he would? Physical confrontations aren't everything, especially when he's half sure those pigheaded people in your family wouldn't change with or without them. The point was that you're perfect just as you are, and you don't need some dumbasses who don't know anything to make you doubt that.

You understand as much when he leans over to give you a quick kiss on your temple, whispering so before leaving another peck on your cheek and pulling back. For that simple moment, your anxiety is quelled. Funny, how something as common as Sanford giving you affection could calm you down so much. The love he has for you is pure and nearly overwhelming sometimes; it fills you with a warmth so comforting, and a feeling of gentle reassurance you don't know how you went without before. And you knew it was the same for him.

For now, though, Sanford thinks he's got a bit of a solution to this issue (if you could call it one). He's been thinking about it for a while, but now that he's seen firsthand the quality (or lack thereof) of people in your family, he doesn't think it's going too fast. At least, he hopes you won't think so either.

Your attention is caught again when he mutters your name, and you look over to see him staring down at the dashboard, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he nervously clears his throat. It's weird to see him so nervous, but it's cute; it reminds you of when you first started dating and he was so anxious about being with someone seriously, least of all someone he admired so much.

"I know this might be too fast, but..you could, well, "join" my family, if you want. My mom's been asking about you, and they just really want to meet you, to be honest. Probably because of how I don't shut up about you," he laughs a little awkwardly, and you smile at how bashful he looks, brow quirking at the question. "They're not...like yours, and I know they won't screw with you like that. So..would you want to?" He looks hopeful as he eyes you, and you can see the slightest bit of apprehension in the way he shifts his hands against the wheel as he waits for your answer.

You hum in thought, genuinely considering the offer. Sanford's without a doubt the nicest guy you've ever met, and you don't think his family would be spoken about so highly by him if they weren't the same. Besides, there's no harm in meeting your boyfriend's family. However, there's a little something about the way he worded it that made you curious.

"Yeah, I'm down for that. All this talk about me joining your family is pre-tty interesting though, babe," you begin, a teasing lilt to your voice as you lean over the console to perch your chin on his shoulder. "You thinking about proposing?"

He sputters, face going red as you chuckle at him. He's quick to make a recovery though, nudging his elbow at you as he shakes his head to himself (he can't hide his own grin, despite this). You feel relaxed as you lean back into your seat, grateful for the distraction in light of everything else that happened that day.

Although, you don't make it entirely back to your seat before Sanford reaches out for your hand again. His larger hand returns to hold yours just as it was on the way to your family's place, and you can see a slight blush tinge his cheeks when you turn yours over to interlace your fingers. He only has a single real response to your teasing, but it's enough to make you double-take.

"That depends, would you say yes?"