#BUT if not please lmk so I can try putting together something else or altering them for ya.

[saltymongoose]

Hi, are your requests still open?? Or I'll even pay you to write something too.

If they are, can I request fic with Deimos, Hank, 2B, and Sanford protecting and comforting a FTM(not transitioned yet) reader that is their partner. They protect him from an abusive family member? If that's not okay then maybe just comforting them on a really really bad dysphoria day?

I'm dealing with major family issues rn on top of my HEDS/POTS flair ups and I'm just breaking down and need some comfort from my boys that would def hug me and kiss me and tell me im okay and tell my family members to "Fuck off cuz I am a real man." I'm trying to draw some art too... but I have major art block art.. but your writing Is amazing and inspirational. I always look forward to everything you do. You are my hero and I wish I could write like you. Thank you for everything you do and please take care of yourself! Drink and eat pls!!❤️❤️❤️

Also this is the first time I'm asking something and I'm to nervous to come of anon so I guess you could call me...Kai? Thanks and sorry if this is too much yiu can ignore it

I'm sorry to hear about everything you've been going through Kai, it's beyond awful to have family members who're so unsupportive and damaging. :( I'd be more than happy to provide some comfort and protection from the boys for you, and as always, free of charge. <3 (Thank you so so much for your kind words as well, they're awfully sweet of you to say and reading them made me pretty emotional haha. I'm glad you like my work so much, it's readers like yourself that make writing so fulfilling for me, so thank you for that as well. And please take care of yourself too, of course. :)) 💕

[Part 1] They Protect a Transmasc!Reader from their Abusive Family ft. Hank & Sanford

(TW: Transphobia, Verbal Abuse, Violence (they're not yandere but still, it's Madcom), ft. Transmasc!Reader) //- {PART 2 HERE <3} -//

- [HANK J. WIMBLETON] -

Anyone who knows of your significance to Hank would realize that it’s not exactly a good idea to try anything against you, whether it be trying to make you uncomfortable or attacking you physically.

Your partner is the most wanted man in Nevada, and he has absolutely no patience when it comes to anyone or anything threatening you, period. It doesn’t matter if it’s some random grunt on the street, or some agent Doc insists he works with, or even if they’re an Employer. If they hurt you in any way, shape, or form, he’s paying them back for it tenfold.

It’s only right since you’re likely a target simply for your relationship with him and he considers it his “job” to protect the people he loves. And by that, just you, really. He can’t even remember the names of the other SQ members he works with 90% of the time, so you’re it for him. Although this just means all of his protective instincts are centered on a single person, which if anything would be more of a deterrent. (For mildly intelligent people, at least.)

However, while he never expected your family of all groups to be added to his “blacklist”, he isn’t averse to going after them the same way he does all your other persecutors. Hank genuinely couldn’t care less about their blood relation with you or any history you have with them; he solves nearly all his problems with violence anyway, so another set of bodies means very little to him in the long run. (Bear in mind, he won’t outright kill them in front of you, you don’t need to see that.)

Though because you’d generally prefer not to have to deal with organizing a funeral or explaining why your significant other gunned down your family (to your other family members who you'd prefer not to speak to), you made him swear not to kill them. A shame since they more than deserved it to him, but you're one of the few people Hank actually listens to, so he'll go along with it.

However, you never told him that he couldn't be violent with his protectiveness, even if they didn't end up dead.

So when he happens to be accompanying you to your family’s place to fetch some of your things and someone decides to make a little unwelcome comment about you (something about how you’re “never gonna be a real man”, whatever that means), he bristles when he hears the words. The look of discomfort and sadness on your face immediately drives him to physically threaten them; he's quick to invade the offending family member's space, anger coursing through his veins as a hand reaches for one of his knives.

It doesn’t take long for whoever made the comment to be thrown to their knees, a blade at their throat before you’re able to stop him. He's always been impulsive, and what they've just done to you would be enough to warrant murder if it were from anyone else. (They should consider themselves lucky you were more merciful than he was.)

He can only think of the look of your frowning visage as he grabs their jaw harshly, almost driving the knife into them as they jolt in his grasp. He usually doesn't care about insults, but if they're against you and targeting something so intrinsic to who you are, it's enough to piss him off immensely on your behalf, to say the least.

"Newsflash, asshole. Nobody asked for your dogshit opinion," he hisses, jostling your terrified family member before forcefully turning them to look in your direction. "See him? He's a real man. If you're too stupid to understand that, that's on you. But if you say anything like that to my boyfriend again, I'll fucking kill you, understand, dipshit?"

You know it's more of a bluff than a genuine promise, given the fact that you've been over this with him before. (Or at least you think so.) You ignore your family member's pleading for Hank to let them go, as well as the other people in the house who've come to watch, still feeling hurt at their comment. Having your partner there made it better, but it still didn't lessen the sting of the words themselves.

Hank notices this of course and will drop the offending individual to the floor (paying no mind to how their skull painfully hits the concrete below them, whoops) so he can pick you up protectively and remove you from the situation entirely. You let him, of course, silently eyeing your family from over his bicep as you snuggle into his arms, relaxing a little for once that evening.

The complete juxtaposition in Hank's behavior the moment you two exit through the front door is honestly amusing to you in retrospect, but in your sickened feelings at what just happened you don't notice it. He holds you tighter to himself as he walks, leaning down to press his forehead to yours and nuzzle into your temple. You told him once that his purring was comforting for you, so he'll do it here, and loudly too. He's relieved when he feels you sink into his grasp more at all his affection, but he can tell what just happened is still weighing on you.

Despite excelling at dealing with matters physically, Hank is very inept at anything concerning emotions (and to his credit, he knows it very well). He'll still try though since you need the encouragement and he hates seeing that despondent look on you. (He also just loves you and wants you to be alright, but that's hardly anything new.)

"You okay?" He rasps lowly, almost whispering to you, and you give a strained half smile in response. He tilts his head in concern and you sigh, reaching up to cup his cheek and watching as he leans into your hand absentmindedly.

"Not really, no, that was…a lot. I will be though, eventually…Thanks for that, by the way," you say, voice small as you rest your head on his chest. It’s funny, you were only there for forty-five minutes and you’re exhausted. This only makes you doubly grateful for your partner being willing to carry you and comfort you physically, even when you don’t feel like talking.

You could feel him nod resolutely against your hand, the only reply you’ll get from him on this matter. His silence is fine with you; you were so close that you didn’t need words to understand his view anyway. Especially not with how he makes sure to hold you as close to him as possible on the way back, wrapping you up tightly in his arms as if to protect you from the rest of the world as he takes you back home, where you’ll be safe from everything else.

Hank’s type of care is a strange one. Filled with gentle touches and harsh protectiveness, Nevada’s most infamous mass murderer is nothing if not soft around you. You were a point of vulnerability for him, but one that he welcomed with open arms. He’d rather die than let something happen to you (and he’d be very willing to if it came down t it). Even if the threat isn’t incredibly violent, his main priority is your well-being, whether that be your physical or mental health. Perhaps this is why you feel comfortable enough to fall asleep in his arms, content that he’d keep you safe as you went home. He wouldn’t let anything happen to you and you knew it. After all, he loves you beyond belief, just as you do him.

- [SANFORD] -

As one of the few people in Nevada who actually has a semi-intact family in his life, Sanford knows the true value of having close relationships with your parents and/or siblings. However, he realizes that your family is also the people who can cause you the most suffering. They know every little button to press to get a reaction, and it's only elevated to a more painful level if they don’t accept you for who you truly are.

In all likelihood, you’ve confided to him before about your familial situation, and what he heard both depressed and angered him. How anyone could be so awful to you is just beyond him; you’re one of the nicest people he’s had the pleasure of coming across and he wouldn’t trade you for everything, why would your family do you so much harm purposefully?

The feeling of disgust only festers with each time you tell him about another one of your family's abusive actions towards you, and he honestly considers just suggesting you cut them off. They don't deserve to have someone like you around them, just as you don't deserve to be mistreated for something as simple as your gender identity. You don't need to justify who you are to them, and the fact that they badger you about it and degrade you is enough to make his blood boil.

You probably don't see your family that often anyway, cause once you two got together he was fully willing to just get a place with you away from anywhere having to do with them. The further the better. (The last thing he wanted to happen was for them to encounter you when you went out for groceries or ran errands. More distance meant more safety from them, after all.)

It's not that he wants to isolate you or anything like that, and really you're free to do what you want, he just doesn't want to run the risk of them hurting you more than they have already. As such, he’s hesitant to even drive you to visit them, to be completely honest. You don’t deserve to be put in a potentially abusive situation, but if you have to be around your family for whatever reason, he insists on accompanying you.

He holds your hand the entire way there, throwing you soft looks to gauge your mood and running a thumb over your knuckles when he sees your nervous posturing. He hopes that his reassurance will help in some way, even if he's also dreading encountering your family.

He's tense at your side the moment you both walk through the door to your family's home, putting himself between you and any family members as he oversees your interactions. Most would feel threatened by his posturing; it’d be quite obvious that he’s acting as sort of a sentinel for you, and having someone like him as a protector should be a deterrent to any awful behavior. Lest they end up suffering some harsh consequences for their actions.

But of course, this doesn’t stop some people. Perhaps they just walked in and saw you, thinking you were on your own and taking it as an opportunity to slew some abuse at you, completely oblivious to the fact that your partner was just across the room. Or maybe they were just ignorant enough to believe your partner wouldn’t protect you from them.

However, they’ll notice and realize the reality of the situation soon enough. It’s impossible not to when they open their mouth to make a disparaging comment about you and are met with a painfully tight grip on their shoulder and the broad form of your boyfriend looming over them.

You'll notice that their abusive remark is cut off by a sharp squeak, and turn to see them looking almost sickly with fear at your boyfriend. The same whose glare seems to darken when they have the nerve to send a pleading glance towards you to make him stop, as if they're not the one who tried to verbally attack you in the first place.

No matter, he'll helpfully twist them around so he's all they see instead. (Quickly too, since he hated the way you seemed to freeze when they tried to make eye contact with you.) The perpetrator is terrified to their core since they know very well about who he is, but the short apologies they try to stammer out don't quell any of Sanford's anger at them. It's not him they should be apologizing to.

He'd even consider forcing them to right that moment if he couldn't read you as well as he does. He knows from your shaky motions and quick glances back at him that having any prolonged contact with them would probably just risk upsetting you more, and besides, what kind of a partner would he be if he brought his boyfriend's abuser closer to him?

Despite this, he won't let go of them. He's almost like a guard dog that's latched onto someone, unwilling to let them move a mere inch away as you go about your business. While you're distracted, he'll even lean down to get uncomfortably close to your family member to give them a bit of a warning, silently delighting in how they jump at his sudden movements.

"You aren't gonna say another fucking word to him, understand?" He hisses, "None of this shit about you not understanding that he's a man - cause that's what he is, dumbass. You can fuck off if you think I'll just let you insult him like that, or I'll make you wish you knew better."

They nod frantically, and he gives them a sardonic, if not outright threatening grin. Just in time too, as you turn back to them with some personal belongings gathered in your arms. You don't look at your family member when you approach, but Sanford's quick to disregard them as well once you're a meter or two from them. (He doesn't want you to have to be too close to them, anyway).

He gives their shoulder one last squeeze, threatening to pierce their skin with his claws before he lets go and returns to your side. You find it slightly amusing that he insists on wiping his hand off on his pants before he holds yours again, and as you exit the building he makes a joke about not wanting any "filth" to touch you. It makes you smile a bit, which relieves him.

He has a thoughtful look on his face as he helps you into his truck, one he always seems to get whenever the topic of your family comes up. You give him a few questioning glances, silently prodding at what's eating away at him as he seems to mull over something for a moment. He then turns to you, giving you a warm smile.

“I’m really proud of you, you know? I don't know how I'd be if my family pulled something like that with me," he remarks, giving you a playful glare when you shrug and avert your eyes, already beginning to formulate some sort of retort to his praise.

"I mean, I didn't do very much-"

"Not this time, I guess, at least not physically. But you've dealt with their shit for years, so I'd say you're stronger than you think you are." He states simply, a tone of finality in his words. Under no circumstance would he let you downplay or disregard your own feelings and role in this; so what if you didn't want to get in their face as he would? Physical confrontations aren't everything, especially when he's half sure those pigheaded people in your family wouldn't change with or without them. The point was that you're perfect just as you are, and you don't need some dumbasses who don't know anything to make you doubt that.

You understand as much when he leans over to give you a quick kiss on your temple, whispering so before leaving another peck on your cheek and pulling back. For that simple moment, your anxiety is quelled. Funny, how something as common as Sanford giving you affection could calm you down so much. The love he has for you is pure and nearly overwhelming sometimes; it fills you with a warmth so comforting, and a feeling of gentle reassurance you don't know how you went without before. And you knew it was the same for him.

For now, though, Sanford thinks he's got a bit of a solution to this issue (if you could call it one). He's been thinking about it for a while, but now that he's seen firsthand the quality (or lack thereof) of people in your family, he doesn't think it's going too fast. At least, he hopes you won't think so either.

Your attention is caught again when he mutters your name, and you look over to see him staring down at the dashboard, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he nervously clears his throat. It's weird to see him so nervous, but it's cute; it reminds you of when you first started dating and he was so anxious about being with someone seriously, least of all someone he admired so much.

"I know this might be too fast, but..you could, well, "join" my family, if you want. My mom's been asking about you, and they just really want to meet you, to be honest. Probably because of how I don't shut up about you," he laughs a little awkwardly, and you smile at how bashful he looks, brow quirking at the question. "They're not...like yours, and I know they won't screw with you like that. So..would you want to?" He looks hopeful as he eyes you, and you can see the slightest bit of apprehension in the way he shifts his hands against the wheel as he waits for your answer.

You hum in thought, genuinely considering the offer. Sanford's without a doubt the nicest guy you've ever met, and you don't think his family would be spoken about so highly by him if they weren't the same. Besides, there's no harm in meeting your boyfriend's family. However, there's a little something about the way he worded it that made you curious.

"Yeah, I'm down for that. All this talk about me joining your family is pre-tty interesting though, babe," you begin, a teasing lilt to your voice as you lean over the console to perch your chin on his shoulder. "You thinking about proposing?"

He sputters, face going red as you chuckle at him. He's quick to make a recovery though, nudging his elbow at you as he shakes his head to himself (he can't hide his own grin, despite this). You feel relaxed as you lean back into your seat, grateful for the distraction in light of everything else that happened that day.

Although, you don't make it entirely back to your seat before Sanford reaches out for your hand again. His larger hand returns to hold yours just as it was on the way to your family's place, and you can see a slight blush tinge his cheeks when you turn yours over to interlace your fingers. He only has a single real response to your teasing, but it's enough to make you double-take.

"That depends, would you say yes?"

[always-and-forever-a-killjoy]

Coming, Coming Home Chapter 3 (Except it’s actually called Building Home now)

Hello fuckers so I impulsively changed the name of my big fic because I have Plans for the title coming home so now it’s called building home, but it’s still the same fic. Also here’s chapter 3 please read the warnings and if you spot any typos lmk because I wrote this late at night.

Also! The last chapter title was from i hope ur ok by noll! The POV for this chapter is White Lily, which makes it officially the first chapter from the POV of an original character, so I hope you enjoy!

Title: Building Home

Chapter Title: The day it was suddenly real

Chapter Wordcount: 3404

Chapter Summary:

Cherri Cola arrives home. Wounds are stitched, impulsive decisions are made, and no one is especially okay.

Warnings: Needles, blood, injury, fairly frank discussion of death and child death. (If you want to know what parts to skip, go to the end notes on AO3- I also put a brief summary of any important info in those parts. Stay safe!)

Taglist: @wishiwasthemoon-tonight @sleevesareforlosers @stressed-depressed-emo-mess @tasteofamnesia @dagger-queen​ @no-braincells-here @piratecherricola (message me, send an ask, or reblog/reply to one of my posts if you want to be added or removed)

AO3 Link

Chapter 1 AO3 Link

Chapter 1 Tumblr Post

Chapter 2 Tumblr Post

(Actual fic under the cut)

Lily looked up as Cherri stumbled into the house, pressing a hand to his side and wincing. She and D had gotten back a few minutes ago, finding their mission for the day discouraging and hopeless. D was off upstairs somewhere, she thought, and she was nursing a cup of ‘tea’, which was something more approximating warm water with a little bit of some sort of dried leaf they had found in the kitchen cabinets boiled in it. They were both pretty sure it was actually parsley, but Lily insisted it was ‘minty enough’. It wasn’t as if they had anything else for tea. She would have gotten something to eat as well, but they were mostly out and they would need enough left for dinner and tomorrow’s breakfast.

So, in short, it had been an incredibly shitty day and it was about to get even worse. Given that Cherri proceeded to pass out on their floor.

Lily swore under her breath and set down her cup, hurrying over to the younger killjoy. “Cherri?”

No reply. She crouched next to the other and gently turned him over, sucking in a sharp breath at how much blood covered his side. “Cherri! D, get down here! Quickly! And bring the med kit!”

D came hurrying in a few seconds later, grabbing the first aid kit off the wall as he did. “What’s going on, Lil- Cherri!”

Lily grabbed the kit from him and dug around for the disinfectant, swearing under her breath all the while. In her opinion, there were times that called for generous usage of the word fuck, and this was one of them.

“Cher, wake up,” Lily whispered as she cleaned the wound, trying futilely to wipe away the blood so she could see.

Cherri jerked under her hands, eyes blinking open. “D- Lil- you have to go.”

“Go where?” D asked gently. It was clear Cherri wasn’t going to let them help until he passed on whatever he was going to say, so Lily let D talk.

“Go- just. Just go somewhere. They know about the radio station- bli, they’re coming to hunt us down soon. They know Lil’s in Zone Four.”

D and Lily exchanged glances.

“Go pack our stuff,” Lily told him. “I’ll take care of Cher.”

D nodded to her and hurried upstairs as she threaded the needle with hands that shook more than she wanted to admit. “Okay, Cherri, I need you to be brave. This is going to hurt like a bitch.”

“Got it.” Cherri’s teeth were clenched. 

Lily started the first stitch, trying not to flinch as Cherri gave a tiny yelp of pain. “It’s going to be okay, only a few more stitches, okay?”

She got a tiny nod and another hiss of pain in response. Every pained noise cut at her heart, but she couldn’t let Cherri lose too much blood. Only the Phoenix Witch knew how much he had lost already. So Lily put in careful stitch after careful stitch, pausing to clean the needle occasionally.

“What happened, Cher?” 

“Went to- went to raid a supply truck.” He sucked in a breath as Lily tied off the next stitch. “Exterminator was altered by the clap. Found me and shot me.”

“How the hell did you get away?” D was returning from the upstairs with almost everything they owned neatly packed away, getting ready to pack up any stuff in the living room that they’d be able to take. 

“They-“ he winced. “They let me go. Threatened me, told me to tell you two that you wouldn’t win.”

Lily glanced at D again and found that the concern in his eyes mirrored her own. “Okay, you’re all sewed up, Cherri. Let’s go out to the van.”

Cherri tried to get up, but D pushed him down firmly. “Absolutely not, you’re barely even stitched up. I’ll carry you out.”

“Fine.” Cherri didn’t resist as D picked him up, following Lily outside. She watched to make sure everything went smoothly as they set him down on the small nest of blankets and other soft things Lily had thrown together, then headed to the front. By the time D had settled next to their youngest crew member, she was already in the drivers’ seat, getting ready to take them away from here. 

Lily thought she heard Cherri mutter something about ‘I’m not a child’, but he was curled up and fast asleep within minutes as she stepped on the gas. 

And meanwhile, Dr. Death Defying made his way back up to the front of the van carefully, sliding into shotgun. 

“Feels real now,” Lily said as her best friend settled next to her. She was still carefully steering them down the road, trying not to bump too much and wake up Cherri.

“We knew the consequences from the start.” D’s voice was businesslike, but Lily could hear the strain of worry behind it.

“We did. We’ve seen enough death to know it could happen to us.” She didn’t take her eyes off the road. “But it feels more real when it’s Cher who got hurt.”

“He’s so young,” D agreed. Their voice had softened and grown quieter.

“He is. God, I know he’s hardly younger than we were when we were shipped off to fight, but he’s still a child, D.”

“I know, Lil.”

“He’s so small. So young. And he’s got that way about him like there’s kindness behind the pain. Who put him in this war? Who let him be one of our little rebel soldiers? He should be….”

“Happy,” D finished for her. “Safe. Not going head-to-head with exterminators and helping run a radio station.”

“Exactly.” Her voice shook more than she would have liked. “Are we doing the right thing, D? Can we justify letting children fight a war we know we might not win?”

“I don’t know,” he said quietly. 

“It’s not like we can stop them from fighting, but sometimes I question if we should encourage them,” Lily went on. “So many of them are going to die, D.”

“That’s how war is. We know that.”

"We learned it well.” She knew her laugh was a little bit bitter. “It’s still not right, though.”

“No, it’s not. But we’re not fighting for nothing. There’s a future without Better Living, and we have to fight for that. Fight for it with everything we’ve got.”

Lily sighed. “I guess you’re right. I don’t like it, but we don’t have a choice now. Got ourselves into this mess, I guess we better get ourselves out of it.”

“That’s the spirit,” D said dryly.

“You think we should send Cher away?” It was an abrupt subject change, but that was what had been hovering in her mind as she and D debated morality. “He’s going to get hurt a lot by being with us.”

“He’s going to get hurt either way. He wasn’t even with us today when he got hurt, and the exterminator didn’t sound like they recognized him. Cherri is reckless, we both know. He’s going to get hurt.”

“And it’s not like he would listen if we tried to send him away anyways.”

“That too. He would stick to us like superglue.”

Lily took her eyes off the road briefly to glance back at Cherri, who was still curled up tightly as they bumped along. Even when he slept, there was a slight bit of guardedness to him, unwilling to fully stretch out. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”

“Me too.”

-

They hadn’t known where they were going when they packed up and left the house, only knowing that they needed to get out, but a plan started to form in White Lily’s mind as they headed down the road. D didn’t question her, seemingly absorbed in his thoughts as he stared out the window, and Cherri was passed out from a combination of blood loss and not sleeping well for a while. Ever, really. Lily didn’t think he had slept through the night since he arrived- he rarely actually woke one of them up, but she was up on her own often enough when he would be awake and bumping around. So even without the ray gun wound, he definitely needed sleep.

Lily turned them off the path they had been following, pulling up in a somewhat intact town. They were parked in front of the most intact house, an almost Victorian style home with sturdy walls. This was where Lily knew she could find an old friend, of sorts. 

Autumn Assassin was somewhere between twenty-five and thirty years old, about five foot four, and utterly and completely terrifying. They were the best shot with a ray gun she had ever met, with the possible exception of Cherri, and could use a variety of other weapons with startling ease. They were also terrifyingly competent at cooking and keeping organized, and hadn’t put up with anyone’s shit in living memory. Lily had served with them for a time in the Helium Wars, and that brief service together was enough to give her a healthy respect for them. 

“Where are we?” D asked, finally seeming to come out of their thoughts.

“An old friend’s house." Lily headed into the back, grabbing one of the bags as D lifted Cherri carefully. She led the others up to the door of the old and mostly intact house, knocking once she had finished laughing at the ‘House of Soup’ spray-painted next to the door. 

Said door was opened by an unfamiliar killjoy with messy blond hair. “Hello, what can I do for you?”

“I need to talk to Autumn Assassin, do they still live here?”

“Sure do!” There was a loud crash and some yells from within the house. “I’ll get them in uhhh a second. HEY AUTUMN! WE NEED YOU UP HERE!”

A few more yells followed that, as well as one or two more crashes. “Now put that sword down or so help me!” The familiar tiny killjoy appeared at the door, putting their hands solidly on their hips. “So what is it, Princey?”

“These fine ‘joys showed up on our doorstep and asked to see you.”

“Ah. White Lily!”

“Hey, Autumn Assassin. You don’t happen to have a spare room, do you?”

Autumn Assassin looked them up and down, eyes raking over D’s tired face, the bits of blood splattering all of them, and Cherri passed out in D’s arms. “Of course I do.”

Lily breathed a tiny sigh of relief as the smaller killjoy hurried them inside. The interior of the house proved to be quite cozy, a nice living room outfitted with a verity of mismatching and likely stolen or scavenged furniture. There were also a variety of killjoys lounging around the living room and/or draped over said furniture, laughing and calling back and forth to each other as Autumn Assassin led the three of them further inside and up the stairs.

They turned left on the landing, opening the door to what had once been a bedroom, clearly. “Here you go, this is the best free room in the house, currently. We might even have an extra mattress laying around, you’ll have to give me a second to find it through.” They rummaged around in the closet of the room for a few minutes. “Ah! Here we go!”

It was a larger mattress than one would reasonably expect to fit in a closet, but Autumn Assassin had managed to cram it in there anyways, it appeared. They hauled it out and laid it across the floor of the fairly bare room. “Here you go.” 

“Thank you,” Lily said gratefully as D set Cherri down. 

“Of course. Now come tell me about your friends and how you came to be here, I’ve got to cook dinner but you can come downstairs with me.”

“I’ll wait with Cherri,” D told Lily. “He’ll probably not be very happy about waking up alone in a strange place.”

Lily nodded and so did Autumn as they tromped downstairs, shouldering past another killjoy to reach the kitchen. “And here we go, pass me that can of power pup, would you?”

Lily handed it to them. “So you’ve been living here…”

“Couple of months now, me and the brit boys settled down here first and then we acquired a couple of other friends along the way. It’s a safehouse of sorts, we give a room to anyone who needs one.”

“Gotcha.”

“So how did you come to be here with an injured teenager and that other guy?”

“That other guy is Dr. Death Defying, my friend from my very first squadron. And the teenager is Cherri Cola, a random killjoy who came to live with us after he accidentally stumbled on our house while looking for shelter.”

“Seems legit.” They were stirring a pot of power pup with a few other things thrown in. “So how did you end up here?”

“You know 109 WKIL?”

“The radio station? Of course I do.”

“We run that, you might know, and so Better Living Industries has been trying to track our signal. Cherri went out and got hurt in a clap with an exterminator, and the exterminator told him that they were close to finding WKIL, so we had to leave home in a hurry.”

“And he didn’t die? An exterminator?”

“Didn’t die, just got hurt. He’s a good shot and a much better fighter than you would expect.”

Autumn Assassin nodded, stirring the pot one more time before they put it over the fire already lit in the sink. “So you decided to come here?”

“I knew it would be safe, and I figured you would let us stay for a while.”

“Hon, you can stay as long as you need.” They made a face. “I’ve started talking like a southern grandma.” 

“You practically are a grandparent,” Lily deadpanned. 

“Rude. See if I let you stay here now.” Their voice was joking, and Lily didn’t think for a second they would actually kick her out. “But in all seriousness, you really can stay for as long as you need. You’re staying until your friend is healed at least. He looks like barely more than a kid.”

“He’s sixteen. Seventeen by now, I’m guessing, but he didn’t tell us his birthday.” She ignored the faint twinge of guilt that neither she nor D had thought to ask. Birthdays weren’t such a big deal in the desert, but they still celebrated when they could. 

“See? Child. Baby. Youngster.”

“You’re literally twenty-five.”

“I’m still not a literal child. Plus, I’m a cat grandparent.”

White Lily raised her eyebrows at them.

“Princey- his name is Prince of Wales but we call him Princey- adopted a mangy stray cat. And we’ve decided I’m the collective parent friend.” Autumn gave the pot another fierce stir. 

“Ah.”

“Yeah.” They lifted the pot off the heat. “Dinner!”

This was met by a cascade of killjoys thundering down the stairs and several more hurrying in from the living room, much to Autumn Assassin’s disgruntled “One at a time!” 

Within a few minutes, everyone had snatched one of the chipped bowls or plates (some of which appeared to actually be empty power pup cans) and were lined up neatly. D and Cherri appeared to have been alerted by the noise as well, given that they made their way slowly down the stairs after everyone else.

“Guests first,” Autumn Assassin said firmly, and the killjoys all stepped aside to let D and Cherri by. “Here you go, Lily, here you go…Dr. Death Defying, Lily said?”

He nodded.

“And here you go, young man.” They dumped some in the chipped bowl one of the ‘joys had handed Cherri. 

“Thank you,” Cherri said quietly.

“Of course. Go sit down, you three, I’m going to hand some out to the rest of this lot.” Within a few minutes, the entire household was sprawled back out around the room eating the mixture that Autumn Assassin had spooned onto their plates, and Autumn Assassin came to join the three of them over in the corner Lily had claimed.

“I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced, I’m Autumn Assassin.”

“Cherri Cola.”

“Dr. Death Defying. It’s nice to meet you; Lily said you were a friend of hers?”

“We knew each other during the Helium Wars,” Lily explained. “I figured they would be happy for us to come stay a bit.”

“And I am, you can stay as long as you need. We don’t turn away ‘joys in need in this household.” They gestured with their spoon a bit as they spoke, adding emphasis to their words. “If I have extra food and rooms, I might as well give them to people.”

“Well, we’re very glad you do,” Dr. Death Defying put in.

“Of course.”

The rest of the dinner was quiet, at least for the four of them. The rest of the room was filled with laughter and chatter and spirit, a bunch of teens and twenty-something killjoys talking between themselves and having a good time. Occasionally, one of them got up to grab more from the pot that Autumn Assassin had prepared, until the entire thing was empty and everyone seemed to have eaten their fill. After the meal was over, they all split off to different places, some off to bed and some to hang out on the roof, it seemed. The three of them went back to the little room, figuring that Cherri could use some rest and all pretty tired themselves.

Cherri was conked out within minutes, and D and Lily settled on the mattress but didn’t go to sleep just yet.

“I hope we don’t bring bli down on Autumn Assassin’s head,” D fretted softly.

“If we do, they’ll flip the corporation off and keep right on cooking,” Lily predicted with a snort.

D gave a small chuckle. “They might just, from what I’ve seen of them so far.”

“They’re terrifyingly put together. And a good fighter, but how organized they are is scarier.”

“They act like they have their life together.”

Lily flopped on her back, staring at the ceiling. “I’m pretty sure they do. Unlike us.”

“Unlike us. We’re trying to run a revolution at twenty-two and twenty-one though, I think it can be forgiven.”

“Probably.”

D groaned softly as he settled down as well. “I’m too young for achy everything.”

“So am I, and everything still fucking hurts sometimes.”

“Guess that’s life.” 

The duo stared up at the ceiling together as Cherri slept well, not exactly peacefully, but not horribly, at least. They had already talked about the morality of all this, but Lily was sure that would have been their topic of conversation if they hadn’t. It was awfully hard to decide if they were doing the right thing, sometimes. They were fighting for the future of their generation and all the ones after, but that fight would take away hundreds or thousands of futures as well. Could the death of so many people, so many teenagers, just barely out of childhood, be justified? Could she ask children to die for her? It had been an exhausting day, but even in the safety of Autumn Assassin’s house, her mind refused to rest. She had a thousand doubts and no one to say them to, not even D. They doubted too, she knew, but D had a somewhat more utilitarian approach to it all. To him, the world they were fighting for was worth all the death and pain. It had to be, or why would they fight? So Lily didn’t say anything further about it, but she didn’t sleep either.

It appeared D wasn’t sleeping as well, as they shifted slightly on the mattress beside her. “It’s real now, isn’t it.” It wasn’t a question.

“It’s real now,” Lily agreed quietly.

In the history books that Better Living Industries would write, the Analog Wars began in 2010, when dangerous anarchists attacked a peaceful Better Living Industries encampment. In the stories passed down by the killjoys, they began a couple of months before that, with the attack on a small town of killjoys and neutrals by Better Living Industries. But to Dr. Death Defying and White Lily, the war began the second their friend staggered in the door with a hand pressed to his bleeding side and a dreadful warning on his lips.

[lucacangettathisass]

how the light gets in (ch.7)

SUMMARY: After your home is ransacked by a group of strange men, you and your cousin are taken in by a group of outlaws. And that’s when the trouble really starts.

PAIRINGS: John Marston x Fem!Reader, Arthur Morgan x Fem!Reader

CHAPTER ONE, CHAPTER TWO, CHAPTER THREE, CHAPTER FOUR, CHAPTER FIVE, CHAPTER SIX

TAGGING: @mountainhymn if you would like to be added to the tag list lmk!

NOTES: aayyyeee another update! man this leave is doing wonders for this fic lmao. slight tw for low self esteem, it’s only one incident bust just to be sure! as always please Reblog and be sure to send me any comments and questions you may have! have a nice day!

There was fire everywhere.

No matter where you looked you were met with flames so hot that you felt all the moisture in your mouth dry up with a single hacking breath, and the metal of your locket melting into your skin, becoming a part of your flesh.

You tried to run, but the flames were everywhere, obscuring your vision so badly you couldn’t even tell where you were. You brought your hands to your eyes, wiping away the tears, trying to find some way to see clearly. When you opened your eyes, you could just make out a silhouette among the flames, standing completely still.

Elated at seeing someone else, and terrified for their safety, you rushed to them. You couldn’t remember ever being able to run that fast, it felt like you were flying.

“You need to get out!” You somehow managed to force the words out of your smoke clogged throat, if it was only just a strangled sounding cry, sounding like a particularly sick cat. “You-”

The silhouette turned, and you froze in place.

Standing before you amidst the flames, was Jake.

His hair seemed lighter in the light of the fire. His eyes were empty, containing only reflections of the flames surrounding you both.

“JAKE!”

You tried desperately to run to him, but with each breath he seemed to be getting further and further away. You helplessly held out your hands, hoping that if you stretched hard enough, you would be able to grab some part of him.

Then, all at once, you were in front of him.

The flames still raged, but you could no longer feel the heat.

Head spinning and stomaching flipping, you gripped Jake’s shirt, staring up at him with wide eyes. “Jake! Where’s Sadie? We need-” You stopped mid sentence when you a drop of blood fell on your cheek.

You watched in horror as blood began to flow out of Jake’s mouth, like a waterfall. Holes appeared in his forehead and stomach, dark and gnarled around the edges and spilling just as much blood.

Within seconds you were knee deep in Jake’s blood.

You screamed, clawing at Jake’s shirt, trying to get a grip so that you might climb onto him and he would put his arms around you, like when you were a child.

But he remained still, and when you looked into his eyes, you saw your tear streaked face, mouth open to let out your horrified screams.

-

You woke with a start, heart pounding.

You whipped your head around and held your breath, expecting to see flames.

But there weren’t any.

Everything was fine and normal, because it had all been a horrible nightmare, and now you were awake and back in Colter.

“You ok?”

With a slight jump, you turned to see Sadie looking at you with worry. You glanced around and saw the other women had more or less the same expression.

Face flushing, you nodded quickly. “Of course.” Your voice sounded strangled, like in your nightmare, and you coughed to try and clear your throat.

As your heart slowed and the biting cold chased away the dream memories of the searing flames, you saw from the corner of your eye Sadie shifting closer to you. “What happened?” She asked, and you knew it would be pointless to pretend you were ok.

“I just...I had a bad dream.” You instinctively moved closer to Sadie’s side, leaning against her as she puts an arm around you. “I’ll be fine.”

For a while the two of you sit together in silence. You thought back to your childhood, where most days you would run into Sadie’s arms, sobbing over how one of the local children had tormented you. It was apparently a favoured hobby of theirs. In this moment, you felt the same kind of helplessness and despair that you had felt all those years ago. You thought you had grown out of it, but clearly not.

You brought your fingers to your locket, and wished that your mother was there to give some kind of guidance and comfort. Of course you knew that was pointless, what physical comfort could the dead provide after all?

You were pulled out of your melancholy by the arrival of food, brought in by Mr Matthews, Mr Pearson and, to your surprise, Mr Escuella.

While the older men went to the other women, Mr Esceulla approached you and Sadie, bowls of stew in each hand. “Hope you haven’t gotten sick of venison yet.”

You sat up straight, quickly smiling as you took both bowls, handing one to Sadie. “Of course not.” You assured him. “Thank you Mr Escuella.”

You expected him to leave with Mr Matthews and Mr Pearson, but he sat in front of the fire instead. Deciding that it wasn’t your place to question his whims, you began to eat, all too aware of the cold stare Sadie was sending Mr Escuella.

Now that you were able to get a closer look at him, you found Mr Escuella to be good looking. He kept his hair in a ponytail, which was something you were unused to seeing on men, but it suited him rather well. His finely trimmed facial hair indicated a sense of pride in his appearance and that he took care of himself. This was something you were used to seeing, but only in polite society, and it had never before occurred to you that outlaws and the like could be as well groomed as that crowd, but this whole experience was doing a lot to alter your previous world views.

“You settling in ok?”

His question brought you back to earth, and you nodded, still smiling. “Yes, everyone has been very kind and accommodating. Thank you.”

Mr Escuella snorted. “Not everyone.”

You furrowed your brow. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“I was talking about Micah.” The tone Mr Escuella used indicated that while they were in the same gang, there didn’t appear to be any kind of friendship between Mr Escuella and Mr Bell. Of course, the interaction they had while you were checking up on Mr Marston was a decent indicator of that too. “Listen, like I said, he’s a jackass. If he gives you any trouble tell one of us ok? Most of us don’t like him so we won’t mind shoving a boot up his ass.”

To say you were surprised would be an understatement. The other women, mainly Miss Jones, had also told you to confide in them should the men prove annoying, and you of course knew that Sadie would be more than willing to lend an ear (and no doubt fist), but to hear one of the men, especially one that appeared to be as well respected and esteemed as Mr Escuella, say such a thing took you aback.

“It’s really fine Mr Escuella.” You assured him. “I didn’t take any offence to what he said.” In truth, you still didn’t know what he had meant. Sadie apparently did, but she still didn’t explain it to you, and you thought better of asking, lest it upset her.

“Still, it would be nice to have an excuse to knock him on his ass.” Mr Escuella pulled out a cigarette case, a rather fine looking one, and opened it, pulling one out. “You want one?” He extended the case to you.

“Oh no, I don’t smoke.” You smiled, feeling yourself warm at Mr Escuella’s friendliness. “But thank you.”

Mr Escuella nodded. “What about you?” His gaze shifted to Sadie.

She remained silent, only eating and glowering at Mr Escuella.

“Alright.” Apparently unfazed, Mr Escuella returned the cigarette case to his pocket, and pulled out a match. He struck it against the heel of his boot and lit his cigarette, tossing it into the fire.

The flames stuttered a little, and you flinched.

If Mr Escuella noticed, he didn’t react. “You did a good job with John.” He took a puff on his cigarette. “The stitches look real clean.”

A flush came to your cheeks, and your smile grew. “That’s very kind of you to say Mr Escuella.”

“Where did you learn to do that?” He looked you up and down. “You don’t seem like the type to get into scrapes with wild animals.”

“No, but an old friend of mine is.” You laughed lightly. “He loves to hunt, and has more boldness than sense, which isn’t a good combination. He would get wounded so often that learning how to tend to those kinds of injuries properly became something of a necessity.”

Mr Escuella chuckled, the sound coming from deep in his chest, and you bloomed with pride knowing that you did that. “Yeah, that’ll do it.” He took another drag. “Where’s he?”

“Russia.”

Mr Escuella raised a brow. “That’s pretty far.”

“His parents wanted him to return home.” You explained. “They felt he had spent enough time here.”

A pensive look came over Mr Escuella’s face. “Yeah. It can be hard being away from family.”

You remembered what the other women had told you about Mr Escuella, how he had more or less been forced into exile for rebelling against the government, leaving his family behind. He hadn’t seen them in years, and their fates were a mystery to him, just as his was to them. That was a despair that you knew was heavier than most. You wanted to say something, maybe even touch his arm or shoulder, but there was too much space between the two of you, both physically and in the sense of status, for you to properly do so. And of course Sadie.

“So what else did you boys find at that O’Driscoll camp, aside from the one we got in the barn?”

Everyone turned to Miss Jones, who was looking eagerly at Mr Escuella.

“Explosives and plans for what was supposed to be their next big robbery.” Mr Escuella sounded rather smug, and you didn’t blame him. You imagined it would’ve been quite the feat. “We must’ve killed a couple dozen of them, but it looks like it’s going to be worth it, because now we’re the ones who’re gonna be robbing Leviticus Cornwall.”

“Mr Cornwall?” You raised your eyebrows and you could almost feel your ears physically perk up at the name. “You’re going to rob Mr Cornwall?”

“Well not him directly, just one of his trains.” Mr Escuella took a drag of his cigarette, regarding you with a curious gaze. “Sounds like you know him.”

“Oh, well, not really.” You felt your face flush again, but this time it was embarrassment rather than happiness. “I only met him once a few years ago, but he left a rather distinct impression. I’ve seen him a small handful of times since, but we never spoke for very long.”

Mr Escuella seemed pensive again as he nodded. “Well, I better get back to the rest of the guys.” He rose to his feet, taking one last puff of his cigarette before it too was tossed into the fire, adding a slight tobacco scent to the air. He turned to you. “Like I said, if Micah gives you any trouble, just get one of us and we’ll take care of it.”

“I’m sure that won’t be necessary Mr Escuella, but thank you all the same.”

He nodded, his expression clearly showing that he didn’t believe that all, and left the cabin.

“Looks like Javier’s got his eye on you.” Miss Gaskill said teasingly.

You stared at her with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. “Don’t be ridiculous! I’m sure he was just being kind.”

“Oh yeah, Javier’s real good at being kind, especially to women.” Miss Jackson added, before bursting into giggles along with Miss Gaskill.

“Leave it alone you two.” Miss Roberts interjected, although she too seemed rather amused. “You’re gonna scare her.”

“If he tries anything he’ll be the one that’s scared.” Sadie said gruffly, which only made Miss Gaskill and Miss Jackson laugh harder.

“Oh Javier’s harmless, really.” Miss Roberts said. “I mean, he likes women well enough, but he’s respectful too.”

“He’d better be.” Sadie glowered at the fire.

“Sadie please, he really was just being friendly.” You said, in an attempt to calm her. Really, you did find the idea of Mr Escuella finding you attractive to be not just laughable, but utterly impossible.

Since when did good looking, well groomed men like him show any interest in ugly girls like you?

-

You were in the middle of hearing Miss Roberts regale the story of Jack’s first steps, which was funny as it was adorable, when you all received another visitor.

At first you didn’t look up, as you were too wrapped up in the story to really care about anything else, until you heard your name being called. When you did look up, you saw that Mr Escuella had returned, and everyone was looking at you.

Immediately you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. You had no idea what was going one, but you doubted that it was good. “Is everything alright Mr Escuella?” You asked, trying to remain calm to hide how scared you really were.

“Dutch and Hosea want to talk with you.” He said.

You felt your throat and lungs constrict like in your dream as every worst possible scenario ran through your mind.

“What do they want with her?” Sadie was on her feet and wasted no time in getting to your side, glaring fiercely at Mr Escuella. “She hasn’t done anything!”

“It’s nothing bad.” Mr Escuella said reassuringly, no doubt seeing how badly things could go if he wasn’t careful. “They just want to talk. That’s all.”

Swallowing thickly, you slowly rose to your feet. “A-Alright.”

“I’m coming with her.” Sadie said firmly, still shooting daggers.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea.” Mr Escuella sounded hesitant, and you didn’t blame him, with the way Sadie was looking at him. “Look, she’s going to be fine. Nothing will happen to her, you have my word.”

“Why should the word of a criminal matter to me?” Sadie hissed.

The atmosphere became tense, and you felt your heart pound against your rib cage.

“She won’t be going far.” Mr Escuella said, calm yet firm. “Just a few yards, if that. If anything happens to her, you can do what you like to me.”

Sadie continued to glare.

“She’ll be fine Mrs Adler.” Miss Grimshaw spoke up, clearly seeing that this wasn’t going to go anywhere without outside interference. “Just let her go. She’ll be fine.”

Sadie clenched her jaw, and for a moment you wondered if she was going to argue. But she didn’t.

Tentatively, you approached Mr Escuella. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Sadie try to reach for you, but Miss Roberts grabbed her wrist just in time. You tried to remain calm, despite feeling distinctly like a rabbit in the jaws of a wolf.

Mr Escuella held the door open for you, and when you were both out in the cold you let him lead you to Mr Matthews and Mr Van Der Linde.

“You’re really not in any trouble, I promise.” He said.

You nodded. “I’m sorry about Sadie.”

To your immense surprise, Mr Escuella chuckled. “Ah, don’t worry about it.” He said, and he sounded very genuine. “Listen, I get where she’s coming from. If I was in her place, I wouldn’t want you out of my sight either.”

An immense wave of relief washed over you, and you were even able to smile. “Thank you for being so understanding.”

Mr Escuella smiled. “Don’t worry about it kid.” His voice was kind, almost gentle, and you felt yourself becoming more and more endeared to him.

Just as he said, the house where Mr Matthews and Mr Van Der Linde had moved into wasn’t that far, making Sadie’s concern seem like a major overreaction. And just like before, Mr Escuella held the door open for you.

“Thank you Mr Escuella.”

You stepped inside, and was greeted by a burst of heat. For a moment, you held your breath.

“Here she is Dutch, Hosea.”

The two men looked up, and you saw that they were sitting in front of a contained fireplace, and you were able to quell your fears.

Mr Matthews smiled kindly at you. “Are you cold? You can come closer to the fire if you like.”

You eyed the dancing flames, feeling your heart rate spike. “I’m fine Mr Matthews.”

“Well if you change your mind, just take a seat.” Mr Matthews gestured to an empty chair off in a corner, beside a doorway, where Mr Morgan suddenly appeared.

“Oh, Mr Morgan!” You didn’t know he had taken up residence in the same house as Mr Matthews and Mr Van Der Linde, and seeing him made your face flush from surprise. “How are you?”

“Fine.” He was regarding you curiously. “So, I hear you know Leviticus Cornwall.”

For a moment, you were so wrapped up in your surprise, that you didn’t realize what he had said. “Oh well, I-I wouldn’t say that I know him.” You looked back over at Mr Matthews and Mr Van Der Linde. “Is that what this is about?”

“Yes.” Mr Van Der Linde’s eyes roamed over you, and he had the same look of curiosity as Mr Morgan. “Javier told us you met him once, and that he made quite the impression.”

“I-Well yes, that is true.” You kept your eyes on Mr Van Der Linde, although you couldn’t ignore Mr Morgan’s gaze, or the heat that rose up your neck because of it.

“Now see, that is what interested me.” Mr Van Der Linde smiled in a way that you couldn’t quite describe. “How did that happen?”

You hesitated. “Well, it’s a bit of a long story.”

“We ain’t goin anywhere.” Mr Morgan was leaning against the doorframe, the collar of his heavy blue coat partially obscuring his face, and making his already striking eyes even more disarming. “So go on.”

“Don’t rush her Arthur.” Mr Matthews gently scolded. “I’m very sorry about him, he forgets how to behave sometimes.”

“Th-there’s no need for apologies Mr Matthews.” You were only just able to tear your gaze away from Mr Morgan to look at Matthews when you spoke, but you still felt his eyes on you.

The feeling of being a rabbit in a wolf’s mouth had returned, but it was...different, somehow. Tinged with something you couldn’t name.

“Well, if you truly wish to know…” You trailed off, looking from Mr Matthews to Mr Van Der Linde and back again.

“We most certainly do.” Mr Van Der Linde replied, looking very eager.

You sighed. You supposed that they were all going to find out eventually, might as well make it now.