#tw flappy hands

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

I've got a headcanon of jamie having problems with food, not an eating disorder, but some kind of issues. Between his autistic coding (flappy hands et al) and the food behaviours which can come with that, and his growing up poor (council estate) and the strict nutrition plan he's on for football, I just see him as having a limited diet and some issues around trying new foods.

I can definitely see that! Like when he's little, Georgie finds a handful of foods that a) Jamie can eat b) she can afford and c) he can prepare on his own if necessary, and then just never really has the time or money to try expanding beyond that since she likely wouldn't be able to afford to replace anything Jamie hadn't tried before if it turned out he couldn't eat it.

So his first consistent encounter with new foods would probably be from school lunches — I don't really know how the football academy system works, but I assume the meals they eat on campus/at training are based around some kind of meal plan guidelines — and staying over or living with his dad. James seems like he would both have very strong opinions about what Jamie should and shouldn't be eating for football (likely without any scientific basis) and be a "suck it up and eat it anyway" type of parent when it comes to sensory issues, which is obviously a pretty terrible combination.

I could see pre-teen/teenage Jamie developing a relationship with food where stuff on his meal plan falls into the narrow category of both providing the necessary nutrients for football and not triggering his sensory issues, while anything outside of that is automatically unappealing because he's never really had the experience of being able to try a bit of something, find that he hates it, and not have to finish eating it anyway. Which could also contribute to his difficulty eating during his 3x11 depression spiral, as the prospect of seeing his dad again might bring up some of those negative associations with food and (at least for me) stress tends to worsen sensory issues.

[willowaudreykeyes]

BIRTHDAY TURTLE

OhohohOOOH!

How about Nixie enlisting Husk to try and find evidence that Alastor is up to no good with Willow (they not dating quite yet) but instead they accidentally release the turtle-kitten he was planning to give her on her birthday? (An event that Willow hasn't had since she was a kid)

He's (rightfully) pissed but gives them a deadline to find it since he's in charge of distracting Willow so that Charlie can start setting up the Hotel.

Cat/water-demin hijinks ensue 👀

this is long so under the cut, I wrote this in GDoc and it's two pages long so not long but I fit this prompt in there. Hope you enjoy!

I paced around the hotel, my brain frazzled. Every day Alastor seemed more and more suspicious and I couldn’t get it out of my head. He had to be up to something, he just had to. Even worse, my friend WIllow is head over heels for that buck fuck and I know it damn well. If I don’t find evidence he’s up to no good she could end up with him! It’s obvious he has a penchant for her, it’s only a matter of time. But I need help proving this. 

I knew it. Husk could help me! He shared my suspicions about Alastor and hated him as much as I do, if not more. So I waltzed ever so casually to the bar and requested a coke and rum. While I sipped on my drink I tumbled over how to bring this up to him. 

“Got something on your mind?” I jerk my head up to notice Husk gazing at me with an eyebrow raised. “I know that look in your eye when you’re up to something. What is it?” I sighed and gave in, shooting down the rest of my coke and rum. 

“Husk, don’t you agree that Alastor is…Suspicious?” I suggested. After a moment’s thought he nodded. “Yeah, I can see where you’re coming from. Why?” He replied with a question. Damnit. “I need to prove he’s bad for Willow and I need help. WIll you help me?” I extended my hand to his. Sighing heavily he shook my hand. “Fine. But I want you to keep Angel clear from my bar for the whole night for this.” I nodded my head in agreement. “It’s a deal,” we decided. 

When Alastor was gone with Willow to her garden Husk and I snuck into his room, left unattended. We scurried through the entire room, not daring to look under his bed. Who knows what monster that man has under his bed. We came up with nothing. Standing up from a dresser I arched my back in a stretch and sighed. “We’re getting nowhere!” I complained. Husk stood up from under Alastor’s bed holding a box with holes in it. “I may have found something,” he said with a smirk. I lifted my eyebrow. “Let me see that…”

As he passed the box to me it fell from my hands and a tiny turtle popped out, racing across the room faster than any turtle I’d seen. It hid under a table and I chased after it, trying to capture it. It continued to evade my fingers. I almost had it when a slamming door caught the attention of Husk, the turtle and I. Alastor stood in front of his door, shut, staring at us with a menacing smile. “May I ask what you two simpletons are doing in my room?” He inquired slowly, dragging his words dangerously slow. I gulped and answered. “We-we were looking for something and this turtle fell out of this box,” I kicked the box and the turtle crawled out from under the table, waddling to Alastor. He picked it up and stroked it. 

“Nixie dear, this is WIllow’s birthday present. She hasn’t had a birthday since she was a kid. I’m going to set this turtle down and you have until sunset to catch it.” Before either of us could comprehend what he said his door was open and the turtle was set out, on an adventure. Husk and I scrambled to our feet and raced out of the room but the turtle had disappeared. “Fffffuck,” I whispered. “We have to find that turtle or we’re fucked,” I told Husk. He nodded. “I don’t want to do this but I don’t want to be on the receiving end of Alastor’s anger either so, let’s do this,” he agreed. 

“Nixie, check the cupboards, I’ll check under some tables,” Husk ordered. I nodded my head and ran down the stairs. Each cupboard I searched in was empty of any turtles and I could hear Husk cursing, meaning he was having no luck either. We rendezvous at the common room. “I can’t find that little shit to save my life,” I panted, having run around the hotel and dug through everything for a stupid turtle. Husk panted and responded, “this is fucking bullshit,” he growled. 

I flopped on a nearby couch. “We are so screwed,” I whined. Then we heard a door open and close softly. 

“What’s wrong?” That was WIllow speaking, shit. I sat up and answered before Husk could. “Alastor sent us on a treasure hunt and we haven’t found the treasure yet,” I answered as vaguely as I could. Willow studied me. “Are you sure that’s it? I know when something’s up between you two,” she hummed. I shook my head vigorously. “No, no! We’re just frustrated, that's all!” I insisted. Willow sighed. “Well, when you feel like telling me, let me know.” She opened the door and walked back out to her garden. I let out a wind of relief. “I need a fuckin’ drink,” Husk mumbled. I nodded my head in agreement. “I could go for some more rum,” I agreed. 

After Husk and I had a quick drink we went back on the hunt, searching through rooms and under couches. No sign of that stupid turtle. As I was rising up from the last couch the clock tolled six times. It was evening and we still hadn’t found the turtle. We were fucked. 

Alastor walked through the door and approached us, both of us frazzled and pissed with him. “Still no turtle? Of course not!” He laughed in our faces and my eyebrow furrowed in anger. I stood up and approached him. “You think this is funny?!” I lifted a bubble up to his face and he grinned back at me. I knew he was just trying to start a fight and I was falling right into his trap. I slowly lowered my bubble and reabsorbed it. “No, no turtle,” I spoke softly. 

Alastor laughed harder, keeling over in fits of giggles. “You two dunces can’t do anything right!” He guffawed at us. Standing up, still giggling, he swirled one hand over the other and the tiny turtle appeared. My jaw dropped. “I had him all along! You never guessed?” He wore a smirk that made my blood boil. I reared up on him. “This may have been a game to you but I know you’re up to something wicked and if you so much as make Willow frown I’ll have your ass on my mantle,” I threatened. I meant every word. 

Husk approached from behind and placed the turtle back in his box. He pulled his head into his shell and closed his eyes. I sighed heavily and added, “thanks for her birthday gift by the way,” I muttered in a glum tone. Alastor chuckled. “We’ll see eye to eye one day my dear, but until then keep that big eye of yours peeled…” With that he disappeared into a shadow. 

“Well now that that’s over, wanna get another drink?” I suggested to Husk. He shook his head in agreement. 

“Yeah, I need a drink after that fiasco.”

[autisticlenaluthor]

TW: internalized ableism & child abuse

Lena’s whole life, autism was a dirty word. 

It was the girl in primary school Lex used to sneer at, who flapped her hands and jumped around the playground like a wind up toy twisted back all the way. It was the boy who bashed an action figure into Lena’s forehead, but never got into any trouble because his brain doesn’t work the way yours does. 

It was abnormal. 

There was a line in the sand between autism and Lena and where it laid, Lena knew there could be no overlap. 

So when Lillian gagged her with a bar of soap for the rude things she’d said (what was rude about observing?) or smacked her fidgety fingers until they were red and raw, it was because Lena was the problem. There was something wrong with how Lena thought— something that needed to be (that could be) fixed. And though she hated it— that sort of logic, Lena understood. 

She never questioned the moments where she lost the ability to speak. Or how when voices overlapped, it was impossible to hear individual words instead of jumbles of noise, clunking around her skull. She never questioned it because Lena understood that if Lillian knew enough to force those habits out of her, the rest of the world must’ve had them too— they’d just become better at adapting. 

So adapt Lena would. 

She learned to sit on her hands and avoid textures like wool and denim at all costs. She gagged through family meals which she later spit into napkins as she pretended to find the conversation stimulating.

And at school, she learned to plan good days. Days where she’d bite her tongue and keep quiet about chess, piano, and biology, because the other girls didn’t find those things nearly as interesting as Lena did. And when she failed each time and spent her lunches in the girls bathroom with tear stained cheeks, Lena knew those shortcomings were to no fault but her own. 

She didn’t have enough willpower. She didn’t have enough strength.

So she would try harder. 

The childish sensitivity Lena never outgrew was buried beneath layers of sarcasm and wit.

She channeled her maturity and the way that she’d always felt years older than her peers, because nobody could challenge her if she was miles ahead. She threw herself into AP classes and graduated university at the same time as high school. She made her interests worth while because being obsessed with chess stops being weird when you’re a nationally ranked chess prodigy at sixteen. 

She covered. She compensated. She survived. 

Flappy hands turned into unseen bouncing knees and fits of screaming rage into deflated periods of silence. Lena’s faults weren’t debilitating nor disabling, they were quirks. They were malleable and presentable; at times, even attractive. 

Hidden behind fake smiles, Lena found herself holding resentment for those who left galas or charity events early– claiming migraines or exhaustion. She’d bite down on the inside of her cheeks until her mouth filled with blood and dig her nails into her skin to cope with the discomfort. She’d glare as they left, shooting subtle looks across the room as she thought about how weak they must’ve been to give into their unease. 

After all, if she could push through, why couldn’t they?

Lena’s suffering became a badge of honor. 

The more she could handle, the more expectations she met, and the more normal, well adjusted she appeared. Her wounds showed that she’d persevered, she’d committed, and as long as nobody ever saw her crumble, that was all that mattered. 

Lena’s whole life, autism was a dirty word. 

A dirty word she didn't realize belonged to her.

But maybe if she could scrub her skin hard enough, turn the water hot enough, or wash for long enough, she could finally free herself of the sludge she never knew she'd been infected with.

And maybe then, she could be enough.

[perinfernum]

Pretty - Aether/Swiss (mature)

It's my first time posting on tumblr so be patient please :)

Here's a little ficlet of Aether and Swiss I wrote today

TW: mentions of body image, talks about weight, fatphobic comments, mentions of ED, NSFW (sex stuff), transgender Aether, transphobic thoughts Word count: 1987

Aether stood in front of the mirror, sobbing softly. His hands clutched at his stomach, and he visibly cringed. He hated his body, his depression getting the worse out of him, making him gain double the weight he was before in a short term of 4 months. His eyes traced over the thousands of stretchmarks littering his body. They were visible on his arms, going all the way to the back, his sides covered in red harsh lines. His stomach wasn’t better. All the way from his core, up to the scars he gained after top surgery.

He felt himself getting sick, at the sight of himself. Flappy arms, big, soft stomach, rolls visible on his sides, no matter how much he tried to suck his stomach in. He gave up, his reflection looking back at him with a disgust written all over the place.

He shivered and closed his eyes, when he heard the bedroom door open. He didn’t want to see the disappointment in the eyes of his partner.

„Hey baby” Swiss’s arms wrapped around him from the back, pressing a soft kiss to his back. Aether only nodded, still not opening his eyes, tears threatening to fall.

He didn’t want to add another burden. Swiss already had to deal with him not being a real man, he had to see those ugly scars on his chest, a reminder of what he was. And now, he was seeing Aether naked for the first time in over 2 months. As soon as Aether’s skin started to give out, he refused any kind of intimacy between them. Because Aether was fat. He was ugly and disgusting. And he was sure Swiss was going to break up with him, not being able to love someone who looked as bad as Aether did. He was once skinny, as a result of his eating disorder, but with his friends help he manager to get over it, only to be tackled down by depression. He couldn’t take care of himself, couldn’t bring himself to eat, only to devour huge amounts of junk food later, when no one was there to see him.

„I love you, you know?” Swiss whispered, his hands softly rubbing over the places where just minutes before Aether was digging his nails in, wishing to rip off his skin.

Aether opened his eyes. Tears started to fall down, no matter how hard he tried.

„What’s wrong pretty boy?” Swiss turned Aether to face him, swiping gently his thumbs over others cheeks.

„I’m disgusting” Aether choked out, and Swiss felt his heart drop. He knew it was getting bad, however he didn’t know it was that bad.

„Why do you think so love?” his voice was gentle, stripped of any judgment, because there was none inside of him. He loved Aether with all of his heart, sometimes feeling like he might burst with the amount of emotion he felt for his partner.

„Because of that” Aether angrily poked at his stomach, jaw clenching „I let myself go, I got so fat my body isn’t keeping up, and now I have those dumb scars everywhere. I. AM. DISGUSTING.” He spat through his teeth, starting to shake.

„Aether, you are so pretty you have no idea” Swiss cupped his cheek and forced him to look up, pressing a soft kiss to his lips „You know what I see when I look at you? I see my perfect boyfriend, whom I love so much, it physically hurts. I see a very brave boy, fighting through the hard times he has right now. And Lucifer, I wish I could take all of that and make you feel better, but sunshine, I can’t. You know it’s okay to struggle, it’s something you always tell our fans, yet have so much trouble believing yourself. Dealing with depression and past trauma isn’t easy Aether, and it’s okay to have worse time, no matter how lon git lasts. As long as you are fighting, or even trying to fight, then you are winning. And so what if your body changes? You are still the same person, the same Aether everyone around you fell in love with. Nothing changes. It only accomodates itself to the amount of stress, and pressure that is around you. But it doesn’t last forever, you know that. However cliche it sounds, after storm there is a rainbow. And when you allow yourself to heal, your body will too. And so what if hard times leave a mark on it? It’s only a statement of your struggle, your fight, your story. People aren’t made only of happy stories. They are made of struggles, and hard times, and it should only serve as a reminder that you were there, fought, and won. Because you will win, WE will win” his eyes were looking straight into Aether’s, full of love and fondness. And Aether couldn’t stand it. He averted his gaze, sniffling.

„You only say that so I won’t feel bad. You don’t believe it” his breath was short and panicked. He couldn’t get his head around the idea that someone might’ve loved him so much, that he was willing to stay with him, no matter how bad he looked.

Aether muttered something under his breath, and his tears started flowing faster.

„What was that?” Swiss asked his brow furrowing, trying to understand.

Aether sighed and repeated.

„I said that the truth is you are repulsed by me. You say all those things, but I know that when you look at me, you feel the need to vomit, not wanting to touch me. You should find someone better, someone you could proudly show off in public, someone you would want to make love to” Aether stuttered, choking on his words.

Swiss slightly chuckled, and brought Aether closer to him, forcing eye contact.

„Aether, I love you, but sometimes you are so fucking dumb. You make me unbelievably horny” as a proof of his words, he moved his hips closer, his semi hard cock touching Aether’s thigh „The sight of you makes me want to drop to my knees and worship you Aether, you are the love of my life, and there is no one I would rather be with or be inside” Aether blushed red at his words.

„Just because we weren’t intimate, doesn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about it baby” Swiss started gently grazing his teeth over Aether’s neck, earning himself a whimper from the other man.

„Now will you, please, let me show you how much I love you?” he asked, confirming with Aether that he was indeed with taking things further.

„Yes” Aether mumbled, his hands finsing his way into Swiss’s hair, pulling him closer so they could kiss. He felt Swiss smile, and seconds later he was picked up with no effort and moved to the bed. As he laid down, Swiss looked at him, taking all of Aether’s nakedness.

„Pretty” he stated, satisfied when Aether covered his face, embarassed. „And all mine” he added with a slight growl, pushing Aether’s thighs apart. He leaned, kissing him slowly, and then making a path of kisses down the other’s body. He kissed every scar, earning soft sniffles from his boyfriend. After confirming that Aether was still okay with his actions, he settled between his thighs.

„So pretty” he muttered again, putting his hands on Aether’s legs to keep them wide open. Aether softly ran his hands through Swiss’s hair, arching his back when Swiss kissed his clit.

He didn’t have time to adjust, as Swiss dove right back in, eating him like a starved animal. He lapped aggresively at Aether’s clit, hard and throbbing, slightly grazing it with teeth, which earned pretty moans from his boyfriend’s mouth. Swiss hummed happily, starting to feel Aether’s slick on his chin, leaking out of his hole.

„Someone missed me” he laughed, sending a wave of pleasure through Aether. The latter whined and pushed Swiss’s face back into his core. Swiss decided to change his tactics, moving his tongue to work inside of Aether. His grip on thighs was strong, leaving multiple marks, as Aether tried to trash around, his body jerking with each move of Swiss’s tongue. He felt Aether clench around him, and moved back, taking his lips of him.

Aether moaned at the loss of contact, too far gone in his own pleasure. Swiss rubbed his fingers between the folds, and pushed inside him. He started gentle, putting one finger in, adding two more as Aether loosened up. He felt his dick get painfully hard, precum starting to stain his pants, when he felt Aether clenching around him. He could only think about how good he was going to feel, wrapped around his dick after such a long time. He crooked his fingers, hitting the correct spot inside Aether, and making him come. He watched in fascination as Aether was squirting around his fingers, his pussy tightening on his fingers as he moved them in and out, dragging out the pleasure for his partner. Feeling Aether trying to push him away, he removed his hand and rose to his feet, looking at his flushed partner.

He made eye contact with Aether, and licked his hand clean, moaning at the taste. Aether only blushed even harder, trying to calm his breathing as his chest moved in fast pace.

Swiss leaned down and kissed him, humming at the feeling of puffy lips moving against his own.

„So pretty” he said for the third time today, moving back to take of his pants and shirt. He stood naked between Aether’s legs,  rubbing his hand up and down his cock, relief visible on his face. He smeared precum over the tip, and motioned for Aether to move up the bed. Aether listened, watching as Swiss got on the bed, kneeling between Aether’s spread legs.

„I’m gonna make you feel so good my pretty boy” Swiss kissed Aether, laying some of his weight on him, hands propped on sides of Aether’s head. He slowly moved, pushing himself inside Aether. He whimpered at the feeling of tightness around him, and Aether’s hands harshly scraping his back.

„I love you so much” he whispered putting their foreheads together, as he started to slowly move his hips. And for the first time this night, Aether didn’t avoid his eyes. They watched each other’s expressions, taking it all in, only breaking it up time from time to share a kiss, as their bodies moved slowly in a steady rhythm. Both of them enjoyed how sensitive their bodies were, how aware they were of every centimeter that Swiss was moving inside Aether.

Swiss moved his lips to Aether’s neck, starting to suck on the skin. Aether moaned, clenching around Swiss, feeling both of them getting closer. And they came, Aether first, while Swiss was leaving another mark on his body, Swiss following soon, after Aether arched his back, pulsing around Swiss’s cock. He allowed his cum to fill Aether, both of them softly moaning at the feeling, their sweaty foreheads touching, fingers entangled.

After they calmed a little, Swiss moved out of Aether, and reached for the bedside table, taking out wet tissues. He kissed over Aether’s body, cleaning them up, and he stood from the bed to throw it out. Once more he looked Aether in the eyes and said:

„So fucking pretty Aether”

The next morning, Swiss took Aether out, proudly parading around, holding his hand tightly as Aether felt stares of random people, mostly directed towards his neck, which was littered with dark bruises. And the other man with stupid grin plastered over his face wasn’t helping. He kept blushing, mostly staring at the floor, but smiling to himself. Cause Aether felt warm inside, he felt loved. And it was okay if he couldn’t love his body just yet, cause Swiss was their to love it for the both of them.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hi! I love your page so much. Anonymous ask bc I have anxiety 😿 also you don't have to answer this ask if you don't feel comfy to /gen /nm. I don't have a supportive family so they don't know I have autism (I'm still a minor and my psychiatrist decided not to officially diagnose me bc that would bring so many more problems in my life). The thing is, I don't know how to deal with meltdowns and shutdowns. Whenever I do flappy hands or [TW!!!] hit myself in the head I get yelled at by my parents and I don't know how else to cope :( do you have by any chance some suggestions? It's okay if not! Thank you and sorry for the long post.

hi there, I did find some information about how to deal with meltdowns and shutdowns.

This article does make it clear that tantrums are different from shutdowns

How Should Shutdowns Be Handled?

For Autistics:

Sleep, sleep, sleep. A long rest is preferred but any bit of sleep helps.

As you’re coming out of the shutdown, you might experience an “emotional hangover.” In this case go easy on yourself and do recharging things like watching a movie or playing your favorite game.

Lean into the shutdown, it won’t last forever and you’ll feel better once it’s done

Watch out for what Samantha Craft, an Autistic blogger, refers to as “Implosive Thoughts” before and after the shutdown. It is similar to the shame spiral described in our Meltdown article.

Get to a safe space where you can lay down, preferably a sensory friendly place where you can be alone or with a person you trust.

Take the time you need before re-engaging. Practice some Neurodivergent affirming self care.

I found another article talking about meltdowns:

Know your triggers

Practice relaxation techniques

Practice good communication

Talk with a professional (if you are able)

This article will be below if you’d like to read it too.

I hope these can provide some coping strategies for you. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ❤️

[gummybear-stims]

Flappy New Year to All the Autistic People!

x | x | x

x | x | x

x | x | x

[chainsawworld]

Comfy pyro comfy pyro comfy pyro

[baron-fromthebaronies]

Tw: a lot of repetition

Me too me too me too me too me too me too me too me too me too me too me too!! :]]]

HAND FLAPPIES AND WING FLAPPIES!

Some be autistic and cringe and weird with me please?

[imagineflurry]

james going "OHMYGAD" in excitement like some fuckin' fangirl may or may not have extended my life expectancy by.. 5 or so years. ty for coming to my ted talk

[vampiremansionpoolboy-moved]

new stim unlocked??

[pyrosuggests-archive]

Hello! This is a message only lovely people who deserve good things can see! If you're seeing this then that means you're doing great and I'm proud of you!! I want you to know that I care about you and hope you have a wonderful day, my friend.

ASGDVDJDBVVSHSVSBNDJDHDBDBBD,,

Hello!! Thank you so much !!!! I’m proud of you too, and you will have a good day. It is inevitable :]

[ademonwithinternet]

hhhHHHH DID YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I'M JUST GOING TO BURST WITH IT?? THAT I'M JUST SO FOND OF YOU I COULD DIE???? I ADORE YOU DEMON

fRIEND KSFJ:GBJ:GKFHJKH 🥺  i LOVE YOU SO MUCH

[jasperusual]

tw: all caps <3

jsjsheh FEELING VERY GENDER RN!!!! big happy eeeeeee im so proud of myself :D

[stimmy--cryptid]

toradora with mostly taiga and with soft things and flappy hands for @tiny-times!

X | X | X || X | X | X || X | X | X

[1tsdanny]

not saying im cool but.. i have notifs on for u

OMG DO U REALLY?? UR SO COOL

[officalwallacepemberton]

Late to this joke but, don't you mean eggsburt? Haha, also HOLY JAMOLY YOUR TAIL WAGS

“I don’t get the pun, but yes it does! It only really happens when I’m really happy or excited. My tail moves more with my emotions but I can still move it Independantly if need be.!”