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dykedvonte · 2 days ago

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You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces #regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary #but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful #and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to #explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen #in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what #is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit #from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be “good” are altered until they follow line #in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue #that the discussion of it sounds like “in defense of men” when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t #upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do #something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those #two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example #or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the #fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically #violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out #in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game #but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of #rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se #how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is #concerned about with Jimmy #and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy #instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste #which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab #complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post #on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if #you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make #the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions

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brettdoesdiscourse · 23 hours ago

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Also if we're talking about stuff on ao3, for instance, there isn't "improper tagging" when it comes to this. What's required of you is tagging the warnings (graphic violence, underage, rape, death, no warnings apply, or choose not to use warnings.)

Let's use this as an example. An author writes an incredibly graphic fic. It has rape, violence, and many other things. They then tag it as not rated, author chose not to use archive warnings, and added no additional tags.

This isn't improper tagging as it meets all the criteria for that fic. You may view it as unhelpful tagging, but it's not incorrect.

You should treat this book as you would any random book you picked up in the adult section of the library.

This fic could contain nothing triggering or it could be Game Of Thrones.

You have no prior knowledge of the book/fic, so you should only read it if you're prepared for whatever may be in there.

I view extreme triggers sort of like intense allergies. Let's say you have a peanut allergy (intense trigger) and you come across a selection of snacks.

One is a nutter butter. It explicitly has peanuts in it. This is not a safe food to eat, so you avoid this food.

One is a candy bar that's labeled "may contain nuts." This also shouldn't be considered a safe food. It may have nuts, you decide to skip this one too because you know it might have nuts.

One is popcorn. It specifically says on the label "peanut allergen free." You do decide to eat this one because you're assured it's free from this allergen. You eat it, it's delicious.

The last one is an unlabeled snack. You can't really tell what it's made of just by looking at it. It doesn't have any information about the ingredients. You should also avoid this snack. It doesn't say it has nut allergens or may have it, but it also doesn't say it doesn't. It doesn't give you anything about it. You should avoid this one because it may have your allergen.

WHAT DOES DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT MEAN?????????????

Basically it means that the story has triggering content. Dead dove is just a metaphor to say that the story is very VERY dark

But it doesn't mean the term is a trigger warning. Not at all. If you said "warning" and never say what's the warning about, well... it defeats the purpose

#long post #reblog

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kvetchinglyneurotic · 1 year ago

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I've got a headcanon of jamie having problems with food, not an eating disorder, but some kind of issues. Between his autistic coding (flappy hands et al) and the food behaviours which can come with that, and his growing up poor (council estate) and the strict nutrition plan he's on for football, I just see him as having a limited diet and some issues around trying new foods.

I can definitely see that! Like when he's little, Georgie finds a handful of foods that a) Jamie can eat b) she can afford and c) he can prepare on his own if necessary, and then just never really has the time or money to try expanding beyond that since she likely wouldn't be able to afford to replace anything Jamie hadn't tried before if it turned out he couldn't eat it.

So his first consistent encounter with new foods would probably be from school lunches — I don't really know how the football academy system works, but I assume the meals they eat on campus/at training are based around some kind of meal plan guidelines — and staying over or living with his dad. James seems like he would both have very strong opinions about what Jamie should and shouldn't be eating for football (likely without any scientific basis) and be a "suck it up and eat it anyway" type of parent when it comes to sensory issues, which is obviously a pretty terrible combination.

I could see pre-teen/teenage Jamie developing a relationship with food where stuff on his meal plan falls into the narrow category of both providing the necessary nutrients for football and not triggering his sensory issues, while anything outside of that is automatically unappealing because he's never really had the experience of being able to try a bit of something, find that he hates it, and not have to finish eating it anyway. Which could also contribute to his difficulty eating during his 3x11 depression spiral, as the prospect of seeing his dad again might bring up some of those negative associations with food and (at least for me) stress tends to worsen sensory issues.

#i love the phrase “flappy hands et al.” autism symptoms when they co-author a paper #ted lasso #jamie tartt #autistic jamie tartt #fic: the hedgehog's dilemma #sort of? headcanons from that universe at least #tw food #tw disordered eating #also sort of but tagging that one to be safe #asks #in theory i have a tagging system but i can never remember if i tag asks as “asks” (plural) or “ask” (singular)#apologies to anyone who has tried to find something on here #kvetch oc

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vintrage · 3 months ago

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fire cannot kill a dragon BITCH

#a song of ice and fire #game of thrones #asoiaf #got #mine.png #i have no clue what dany era this is i just wanted to see if i could get down how i think book dany looks just like. in general #results are inconclusive #also ive been doing like exclusively multimedia w either sketching or doing full colored pencil first and then taking a picture #on portrait mode ☝🏻#and finishing the rest in procreate so if things look weird thats like #why #im figuring stuff out lmao #and like! where ae the highlights on her coming from?? idk but surely not that fire #daenerys targaryen #adding tags bc my tags are my safe space and if ur reading them then. ur in this with me i locked the door i secured the chains..#just realized that lowkey with how daenerys is described as being just like #ethereally pretty as per the targ pretty gene #i sort of picture her face as like #one of those insanely pretty girls u see on tiktok and they just like naturally have a disney princess face #no makeup bc their skin is perfect and their lashes are naturally super thick and long #thats dany to me #this face ate an entire raw horse heart <3

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lionbearfox · 8 months ago

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making fucked up nahida art is absolutely instrumental to my wellbeing

#nahida #greater lord rukkhadevata #genshin impact #gore tw #blood tw #my art #body horror #? does this count as body horror #ill be safe and tag it just in case #anyways. i think constantly about how fucked up the circumstances of nahida's creation were #also ive been seeing a lot of incredible very bloody dunmeshi art around lately #and those two things combined to make This #normally i dont post this sort of stuff but im proud of how this one came out!!#will be back to regular silly scheduling soon. prolly #ask to tag #id in alt

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cent-scratchnsniff · 2 days ago

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reread tiphs dialog recently. i love them lots

#lobotomy corporation #lobcorp #lobotomy corp spoilers #lobcorp spoilers #i cant help it. the boxes....#i never know what to tag as spoilers and what not to. so just to be safe #tiphereth #tiphereth lobcorp #chesed #chesed lobcorp #do i do all of them..? some of them are smaller. ahh itll be okay i hope..#netzach #netzach lobcorp #ill stop there. there is gebura yesod and malkuth but its just one drawing for both #just general thoughts of mimicking others and trying to potray what maturity is. the dialog from story 1 when you meet them i think abt tip #talking abt being stern stoic and strict. then netz talking abt yesod and the two behaving similar like that #just thought some others would be cute. trying to get used to how id draw her. ah the gebura tiph one was a loose idea in gebs story to #where the two talk and tiph advises against asking to much and to hold onto that hate iirc. been a bit. then the idea of her able to replac #parts. then the degradation of the soul after being destroyed. maybe tiph might check up on her or peek in to see how shes doing considerin #the idea to hold onto hate was advice She gave. iirc. anyways the concept of having black coffee to look cool and grown #they put the shortest next to the tallets in the same layer. had another idea to have the two tiphs stack atop one another to be as tall as #chesed and gebs but i got too tired. its a cute idea though might do it later. another thing i wanted to do later on was pertaining to #singing a song of homeland and lisa stating she wanted to dance. that and the backdrop from c comand being a giant stage. preformance arts #malkuth is there because the three all do a command team. lots is stuff and responsibility. feel like tiph would have beef w her . also an #iirc moment i recall something abiut the two teams havinf a rivalry or competition of sorts? kind of funny what beef u got w some kids bro #more likely pertaining to the agents inside of the teams itself to be honest. i think id be cute is malkuth would give some help tips thoug

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mellotronmkll · 29 days ago

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Wverytime I sit down at a computer to make music I get so scared

#i like siting down with a guitar and writing music but the daw is still so scary to me and i dont know how to make it less scary #its like i dont know where to start #i understand music theory i can write chord progressions i can write melodies but arranging feels so daunting #like just trying to pick keyboard voices and stuff im like overwhelmed and then its like i just dont even know where to start #i think i need to do more covers to practice arranging because trying to do it with my own songs im just like i have NO IDEA #i do think that trying to recreate arrangements of other songs I like will help me but also just idk #i really want to get better at writing at the piano but i find it really hard #rn i write almost all my songs on the guitar then i guess what i have to do is try to think of like what style i want it to have #and sort of try to create a map like probably literally on paper and then try to go in and sort of do it but god its so hard i dont know #it feels so so daunting #even trying to make silly little stuff with just like some synths is really hard for me right now its so out of my comfort zone and AUGH id #its frustrating im scared of the computer but i also very much do not want to be an acoustic singer songwriter but thats all i can do #because all i can do is play fucking guitar!!!! and its just so frustrating #technically im like with a midi controller i should be able to do whatever program drums write little synth lines etc i dont have to like #know how to play piano and yet whenever i try to do it i just get so overwhelmed and freaked out with how many possibilities there are #that i just . cannnnnt #AHGHHHHHHHHHHHH im so im in such a bad mood right ow #ive had such a horrible night honestly #i think i will just go engage in fixation for comfort and then go to bed sigh #i dont know what to do to improve at making music in the daw i guess ill just maybe try again this weekend to take another crack at it #god its just so frustrating that i only started writing songs 2 years ago and have only learned to use a daw in the last 3 months i WISH #that i was one of these teenagers who spent all my time writing silly songs and playing around with a midi controller but i just didnt #because i was scared!!!!!!!#playing the guitar and singing has always been like the only thing that felt safe cos i felt if i tried to actually write and arrange songs #by myself i would fail so now i just feel so frustrated because i dont feel like a real musician and i feel like im starting too late #AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH whatever sorry for using the tags of this post as my diary but #i am frustrated!!!!

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eijiroukiriot · 1 year ago

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it's been a sec since i've done a translation! but i think this comic is really sweet so translation under the cut!! the title on the comic is "kiribaku and tododeku who aren't public about their relationship (having mild heart attacks)", and the caption on the tweet is "i wanna read 10000 stories about people finding out about kiribaku and tododeku's relationships"

Hero Radio OFFTiME! On our program, you can hear top heroes spill a little bit about their private lives. Today's hosts are Deku and Red Riot! What kinds of things will they talk about? Let's see!

Midoriya: Man, you must be tired! You came here straight after a night shift, right? Are you feeling alright?

Kirishima: All good! Besides, you've been working ten days in a row, right? Good on you!

(word bubbles - Very, Very Tired)

M: Alright then, our first letter of the night...this one comes to us from BlueMackerel-san, who asks, "How did you spend your last day off?"

K: Uhh...oh yeah! Hiked 'n camped! And ate a ton of campfire food!

M: Oh, with Kacchan?

K: Yep!

M: He sure does like hiking.

Flashback Kirishima: WHOOPIE!!

Flashback Bakugou: Just eat it

M: What'd you two eat?

K: The works! Spare ribs, and homemade sausage, and meat, and more meat! Bakugou always packs a ton of meat to barbecue, it's crazy good! What about you?

M: Mmm...I slept in until around noon...and I think that day, Todoroki's family invited me over for dinner. His sister is a great cook!

Flashback Fuyumi: Welcome, welcome!

K: Coooool. So we both ended up just spending the day with our boyfriends, huh-

M: UH- um-

K: Huh? OH-! Cut! Cut!! Can you guys pretend you didn't hear that last...

M: Ohhhh my goddddddd

Narration: Our next letter comes to us from DieYouScum-san, who writes, "I'm killing you when you get home"

#kiribaku #tododeku #translation #bnha #this is a short one that's mostly kirishima and deku talkin but i think it's very cute #i'm also still completely in shock that tumblr now lets you go back and fix typos in tags #good on ya tumblr stuff #this is just a super quick translation before bed and i played it kinda fast and loose w the expressions!! but i did my best to get the #meaning across!!#to talk abt mostly unrelated stuff yesterday on my way home from a long weekend i dropped by tokyo and to a huge anime resale store #they had soooo much bnha stuff but pointedly they had a whole separate building across the street for doujinshi #my local anime resale store lately has gotten so few bnha doujin that they stopped sorting them by ship so it's basically not worth looking #but this one had a ton of krbk all laid out and i was this close to not even going into the store but i came out w a little stack!#crazy to see so much krbk in person that i even had my /pick/ of safe fluffy stuff #anyway one of the ones i bought is abt them living together and the cover illustration is kirishima elbowing bkg in his sleep #i was gonna not just read more krbk before bed tonight but it looks so sweet and up my alley #ik i don't post much on here anymore and it's mostly bc adult life saps the paragraph-typing/thread-typing energy out of me #but those guys still have an apartment in my brain #hope you guys are doing well!!

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wellzofyouth · 1 month ago

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That one post of my mine predictably aged like fine wine. Never let somebody on comic twitter in the writer's room😭😭😭 Like imagine a 1 to 1 adaptation of literally any event?? -1b at the box office. "Who are these people???"

#Anywayyy I'm writing a retelling of DC and it is honestly so fun to imagine the characters in a new but familiar light #Like the biggest reason why I was never interested in writing fanfic before 2 months ago is because I never felt like those characters were #I felt... uncomfortable writing it not because i thought fanfic was bad or anything but because I felt it was weird to write for example #“XYZ DID THIS AND DID THAT AND DID THIS” like maybe he did?? I wouldn't know I don't know him like his creator!!!#But comic characters feel like more flexible due to the many interpretations over the years but firm enough where I can decide how to take #Certain traits and minimize them or expand on them #Also 1 to 1 adaptations suck balls to write. I'm not sure if that's universal but the whole fun of writing is coming up with new ideas #Writing a straight adaptation would be kind of writing a translation into a new medium. Which isn't bad. Novelization are literally those #But a common sentiment among writers I've seen is that Novelizations aren't that fun either unless you get to experiment either #Adapting comics into a new format and retelling them is kind of hell because you have all these intersecting plotlines and insane events #That's just tangled up in a story with a timeline that literally makes its contradictions into plot lines. But it's FUN coming up with ways #To condense a character's origin and sort of rewire it into the story you want to tell. Because yeah I think a lot of people miss is #that at end of the day #you tell stories about people and their struggles. You need to find a way to fit those moments of joy sadness love.#Like a movie about Jason Todd being RH will never be emotional as Jason Todd dying because you'll have less time to feel the love and pain #that Bruce felt for him. Like sure #flashbacks and exposition but that can only go so far. At the end of the day #It will always be about RH vs Batman. That's what people came to see. But that's not all Jason is. He was Robin before he was RH. A 1 to 1 #Adaptation will never translate that to screen. Plus you (sadly) have shared universes now and a movie can only jump around in time so much #For example in my fic if I wanted to add Tim and faithful to his source material I would need to add so MUCH about Jason death #About like Bruce grieving without skipping all over that and missing the human element. It would severely mess up pacing.#I don't know i love how adaptations can make you see the characters in a new light or elevate the source material #Iwtv my beloved doesn't adapt the books exactly but reimagined in it a way that I like much more #Anyway this proves my point about comic fans being weirdly childish and omfg I hate to use this term...anti intellectual 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨#Everyone who writes or yknow reads should like understand this on a fundamental level. One to one adaptations are safe but boring.#Like the Psycho remake was bad not because it made bad changes but it barely made any changes.#Anyway watch amc iwtv to understand good adaptations better than your average comic stan on twtter #Not a rant I just love discussing adaptations #Long tags

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burinazar · 1 year ago

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It's a bit funny that to parts of my circles I'm 'the fandom one'/'the fanfic one'/'the shipping one' as the person they know most prominently into such things

because as much as i love writing my fics and shipping my ships my interest in both of those things is, I think, very narrow and specific compared to most people who are into them? due to my habits being like. very particular

#i think some ppl think of me as ahh my buddy who is always reading fanfic and i'm like. look. i would LIKE to be that. but i'm not #it's comically difficult to get me to sit down and read a new fanfic. for no discernable reason #the fandoms i like to read for don't even have big fic scenes but i've still checked out such a narrow portion of them #(and these fandoms are like. just a few. leaving aside MiA's dead tag. LOGH + T&B + Vorkosigan + ...anything else here would be a lie)#(Queen's Thief + Temeraire + TMA are on the backburner rn for reading fic but they were faves before yet i read SO little of what existed)#(everything else i just check out very occasionally or when directly recc'd)#i think mmmaaaybe 'my buddy who reads tons of fic' would be the case if there were new fics about the sages coming out every day #they're sort of a unique hyperfixation for me lol #but there are NOT. instead there are ((checks))#four (4) english language belavue fics on AO3 that are not by me #AND two of them i would say do not actually have any ship content and were likely just tagged that to be safe #as far as non ship content there are ((checks again)) 21 English language fics tagged with Belaf and I wrote 13 of them ........#(and 17 for Vueko and i wrote 10. two of the others barely mention her and shouldn’t be tagged lol) …guys i'm starving............#ok you read to the bottom of the tags you get to hear a selfish wish #i kind of hope that someday...someone will...write some fic about the sages either because of me or for me #gen or ship it doesnt matter #but this kind of thing usually happens in AO3 exchanges though and there aren't ones in this fandom because the fic scene is so miniscule #i'm literally running one right now off AO3 but have a feeling it will end up being mostly art and also didn't put myself in as a requester #since the people participating have largely made stuff for me as gifts before and i have a glut of lovely work from them #and again that exchange will mostly end up being art i feel and not fic. but some other time... i still wish ... more fic... pleae..plaeabs #there are very specific reasons i don't want to host an MiA fic exchange through AO3. i can guess the kind of stuff some people will reques #(the kind of stuff that's already in the tag.) and it's not stuff i feel like moderating an exchange involving >_> so i won't #but god.. ... ..... someday......i hope....there can be an exchange where i ask for somethinga bout these people.............

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izzy-b-hands · 23 days ago

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Things I've thought about this morning:

-How buying one of the pieces of merch I've found from a creator I like might actually be an accurate shirt for me to wear in general (I've stretched for today, and the bones feel so Squishy, as reference to it w/out explaining more bc. I don't want to.)

-How I used to not fully understand why people w/arthritis were rather grumpy to outright mean in the morning (including patients at the clinic and also my grandparents.)

After all, my joints sucked even when I was a kid and it hurt constantly (likely undx'd juvenile arthritis, got mentioned once by my doc back then and then never tested for so who knows), but so what?

Surely all joints for everyone are like this and age doesn't affect that in any way, so there was no need to feel instantly grumpy once you're awake for the day (though I do want to say that you still shouldn't be like. Taking out that feeling on other people, the patients and my grandparents were in the wrong for that in my opinion, but I give them more grace re: that now.)

-Guys. Age affects it. It hurts so much worse. I stretched extra this morning purely bc I'd rather the bones and joints feel Squishy and slightly less Painful than just Painful and Sort of Squishy. The sounds I'm making when I get up are even louder than they used to be. I think the neighbours can hear me sometimes. I don't like that.

Idk what the point of this post was going to be aside from me whinging abt my joints, so let's call the moral of this post:

Maybe I should ask for that merch for Xmas from my family since all we're doing to celebrate this year apparently is buying gifts. Legit, Mum has no idea if they're even meeting up back in ND. Wild. But I digress; they don't know what else to get me so. Squishy Bones Shirt.

If you can safely stretch/yoga/something along those lines at some point in your day, do it. I did yoga more when I was younger and I never should have let myself lapse with it. I'm back to doing more of it but even then. The bones. The joints. Save your bones and joints and just stretch a little. That or join me in making noises such as 'OUaghh' and 'ARghhfuck' and occasionally 'woahlksjifhdsafhnj god I think I'm stuck here' whenever you need to get out of bed/up from the floor/out of a chair/sometimes while just like. Standing there doing dishes or queuing or staring blankly at a wall Blair Witch-style.

#text post #usual disclaimer that I am fine bc like I say the joints have been Angry since I was young but #even after stretching I'm making the Sounds today and that almost bothers me more than my knees feeling like they're gonna combust #and I needed to 'old man yells at cloud' about it #also some folks were in my inbox v kindly worried abt me going sort of quiet w/personal posts lately #so this is me showing I'm alive! I'm okay! Just dealing w/some mental and personal life shit #that involves several out of my control factors that I'm waiting to hear how they'll shake out #so the spoons have been low to do more than like. survey sites a chore a day some viddy game as a treat and trying to find a way to sit/lay #that my body won't instantly hate despite hating every other way I'm attempting to sit/lay #ayyyy I brought the tags back to my joints! mini circular tag essay thing; that's fun #unlike joint pain so fr. if u can safely stretch go do one now. for me. wherever you are. now. in traffic class wherever. NOW.

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florelia12 · 2 years ago

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So I’ve been thinking a lot about avoidant attachment styles since I’ve discovered I fall under that category like our beloved Helia hence an essay on his avoidant attachment style:

Its no secret that i love the comics and the Helia arc in The Trial comics. I think what I love about that comic is how florelia’s relationship is developed and depicted.

So, one of the characteristic of an avoidant is deciding to end a relationship without really communicating why. Helia did that to Flora after deciding that she deserved better than how he treated her, and that he wasn’t good enough for her or for red fountain. He decided for the both of them that this wasn’t going to work out because he’s not good enough. Flora didn’t get to have a say or to even confirm whether that was true because he just waltzed right out of there and cut contact.

So, he leaves and like decides to not contact anyone. After a few days of crying, Flora managed to contact him…He starts by saying that he doesn’t want to talk but she cuts him off and says I get it if you don’t want to be around me right now. “I accept that even if i don’t understand.”

When she offers her help to find him a place to stay, it was her offering the help without any strings. Which was why he took it (he was also kinda desperate). After he says yes, she even says okay thats it you can hang up if you want without forcing him to talk about whats wrong.

Then its Helia who speaks up and says hey this is kind of why im behaving this way. She senses an opening and tries asking if they can fix things. He’s not ready yet and so he says no, which she respects and hangs up the phone.

Flora then finds him once he’s settled down. Now, this could have been a manipulative move. Her taking advantage of the fact that he had no choice but to take up the rental room that she found for him so that she can force him out of his self-imposed exile and force a conversation.

However, when Helia tries to apologise because its the decent thing to do, Flora stops him and says he doesn’t have to talk about it if he doesn’t want to. She recognises his need for space right but also knows that he needs a friend right now. So, she offers exactly that and Helia accepts it.

This may seem contradictory since why is he accepting help when he’s an avoidant who’s hyper independent and wants to be able to meet his own needs. But, the reason people become avoidant is because at some crucial point in their life, their emotional needs weren’t met and the only way they could receive that was by seeking it out themselves, something that requires a lot of energy that unfortunately ends up with them not having any energy left to help meet someone else’s needs.

But, what Flora did was meet his needs while letting him know she didn’t expect anything in return. This takes a weight off his shoulders, and he feels secure enough with her promises to accept her help. Because right now, there is no expectation on him that he needs to meet which is the exact thing he ‘ran’ away (expectations he’s worried he can’t fulfil).

Then they’re okay for a while, and they can go on dealing with the matters at hand which is fixing up his apartment.

After a while, when things are going okay and he feels safe and secure. Helia opens up to her. They communicate. She understands.

Then comes the moment that didn’t really sit well with me at first but now I kind of understand.

At first I felt like why is she asking him about their relationship when he’s clearly going through hell about something else, isn’t that a little selfish when she said she’s okay if they don’t talk about it?

But, then I realised that Helia’s needs were met when Flora gave him the space he needed and accepted and understood him.

Right now…She’s asking for reassurance. She feels secure enough with him to ask for reassurance because she needs it right now.

This expectation, its a normal reaction. Its not her asking for something unreasonable. Even the way she phrases it is, do you want to end things? Is this what you need?

Not, oh lets get back together or why did you do that to me. Not blaming him for his actions. ( She even said she forgave him ). Not victimising herself.

Since Helia’s needs were met and he feels secure enough right now, he was able to meet her needs and so he offers her the reassurance she needed.

Which was this iconic moment…

I almost forgot the important part but when conflict strikes again…

Helia receives sus information about Flora and is struggling to figure out whether to believe it or not. Because he’s been tricked once, and now its happening again? Is he gullible? Is he the problem? He’s not good enough is he? A good specialist won’t fall for tricks so easily, right?

Flora senses the struggles and approaches, she’s panicky so she kind of starts seeking reassurance like what’s wrong? What’s going on? Talk to me!

This time he doesn’t walk away, he doesn’t avoid. He feels safe. He knows he can trust her because she’s proven that he is safe with her. He can trust his own instincts. Even if he was gullible, he made a mistake and trusted the wrong thing again, he knows he can communicate it with Flora because he feels safe enough to do it.

He reassures her that he trusts her. Then, they solve the problem. Together.

I just absolutely love this entire arc because its a realistic and somewhat healthy way of being in a relationship with someone who has an avoidant attachment style.

I’ve been seeing alot about this avoidant/attachment style and majority of it just straight up villainises the avoidant. I even saw someone say that “anxious people are expected to accommodate avoidants but avoidants aren’t really expected to accommodate for the anxious partner.” Which will always be true in some cases but is not what the general avoidant or anxious attachment style actually needs.

Its not exactly space that the avoidant needs (thats the coping mechanism), its safety and security. Just like someone with an anxious attachment style. Seeking reassurance is their coping mechanism, the solution is the safety and security that is offered. Accommodating someone’s coping mechanism is never a long-term solution, only healing can give you the peace you need.

Now, i did use to think that Flora had an anxious attachment style but I think she’s more secure. Like she needs reassurance, she struggles with her insecurities. But, you don’t really see her actively seeking it out very often. She understands most of the time when people want to be left alone. While she might struggle to give herself the reassurance she needs, she understands when someone else can’t give it to her at that moment.

Is she avoidant, on the other hand…i might have to sit on that a little but I’d love to know if anyone has any thoughts on that:)

This whole thing is so hard to navigate but people can sure learn a thing or two from fictional characters.

#the way I had such a hard time #trying to figure out my thoughts about attachment styles #until I could only really understand when its under Winx club context #says a lot doesnt it #but helia this is why i love you #but i hate you because why are you so much like me huh?#im going to put this in the tags because I don’t want to piss off any musa/riven shippers #but one reason why muri have quite a few relationships struggles is because they have a sort of trauma bond in my opinion?#like Riven is an avoidant and Musa has an anxious attachment style #when that happens they kind of just tend to trigger each other when conflict arises #thats not very healthy and its not doing either of them any good #but then they are also a good example of why avoidant attachment styles gets villainised #because Riven is always written off as the problem #and as someone who doesn’t meet Musa needs #but Musa isn’t that great at communicating either #i love them and I love how they heal from that but the way they heal #is by feeling more secure in themselves #which is truly the only way to get past these attachment issues #not expecting an avoidant to accommodate the anxious partner or vice versa #which is necessary yes but not what can really help both parties heal and feel safe and happy

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opaleyedprince · 6 months ago

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one more dacre post for the evening if you will permit me

thinking abt him growing up and his life before the hunters attacked. was probably a small town, not a lot to do, what's a big family to do but spend a lot of time at the local church - one of the more well-maintained buildings around. no fighting in the church, no words of anger, it was a safe and peaceful place per the adults' rules.

not that it stopped dacre from the occasional scuffle, but he did admittedly like it. he liked the piano and he liked singing. learning from his elders - in the pack and in the general town population alike. and he enjoyed being able to cheer up the younger members of the family with his skills, liked being able to do something right for once. most of all, he liked the rosary given to him by his pack; a bead painted by each member.

as a child, dacre probably wasn't even able to harm pest animals. he was the sort of kid who cried when he accidentally stepped on a bee - and not just because it stung him when he did. he was the kind of kid that pretended not to care + be rough and tough, but had a big soft spot, something the younger kids knew even when the adults assumed he was simply a troublemaker

#opal.txt #oc tag: dacre #:) i am telegraphing the entire tragedy of the attack yes #dacre thinks the church is safe. he tells the others they can't hurt us here because it's a peaceful place #and where does his faith get him?#crawling half-dead from smoldering wreckage with ash and dried blood in his mouth. and all he has to show for it is the rosary #clutched in his hand - the same hands that couldn't save the others. couldn't save the young ones #no he wasn't religious but he did grow up surrounded by it. he had faith in his peers #the hunters were in fact priests - several of them at least - but not all #so his disdain for churches makes sense. but also he sleeps in them. they're still a sort of haven #now i am going. to STEAM myself and think abt my boy

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arklay · 2 years ago

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WIP DAY.

tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡

tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡

i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.

started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]

it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo

never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.

everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk

i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe

actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not

Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more. He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.

#tag games.#keep going to do picrews and just zoning out 😭 i'm so behind on literally everything but it's fine it's okay (lying)#i'm having a day and a half even though i woke up feeling okay but oh well. my last month has just been like watching videos during the day #or playing games when i have a bit more energy but like i can't do anything that requires me to actually read or write things like words #are just not computing in my brain at the moment but it's okay like i'm just exhausted and hoping soon i can get back to writing because i #still have over 30 wips going lmao but yeah it's been a time a half with lots of appointments and seeing specialists again and trying to #sort things out. i've been more active on twitter which i've mentioned before but it's just because like it's easier for me to sort of just #like and rt things and not having to do my organisation tags and things like i know that sounds so just small and simple but that's how #i've been lately like to my brain rn that seems like a really big task. so i just keep coming on here randomly for a few minutes then #disappearing so i'm sorry that i've definitely missed so much and i haven't been around to just show my appreciation and love to your #creations!! also just everything that happened in december and then a bit at the start of january too like i'm just a lil paranoid about #being on here honestly so i'm trying to get back to it and be okay with posting again and i'm going to make a promise to myself to actually #filter more tags i think? just to help me with like not exposing myself to things that do make me feel uncomfortable in any way!! i'm #rambling now but sorry sometimes i just need to lmaooo idk but yes so cute lil subtle things from my carrd i wanna talk about cause why not #i didn't have to change the blue herb from re0 besides making it brighter because it's already teal toned which is so sexy but i shifted #the hue on the spade key like SLIGHTLY like it was so little. but anyways. i use this emoji ✨ on my twitter name and yes cause sparkles but #also. three stars. the s.t.a.r.s. badge and logo :] then blue herb because i will have no poison in my safe space!!!! take a blue herb or #leave please!! only good vibes and safe space here!! spade key because i'm ace <3 i was going to include the diamond one in there as well #because am demiro and like those are the symbols in the community. ace of spades for ace. diamond for demis (both orientations)#but wasn't sure how to weave the pink through the rest of the carrd even though cyan and pink together is so pretty omg

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sparky-is-spiders · 1 year ago

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Hey the TMA Somewhere Else is Dredge au still lives in my brain actually. I think Jon spends a lot of time trying to study how the eldritch stuff interacts with the environment. Minorish spoilers for Dredge below. If you haven’t played it yet, please do. Pretty sure it’s still on sale on Steam right now. It’s such a good, lonely, somber little horror fishing game.

Okay I’ll try to avoid too many spoilers because I think this game is best experienced blind and I’m pretty sure I only have a couple followers who’ve played it. But anyway, some Jon nature studies (btw this is an au with any/all Jon):

- Jon actually stays in Stellar Basin w/ the researcher for a while. Helps her take samples and stuff. His interest was perked when he heard that the mutations supposedly came from the creature, so he starts looking for evidence and taking water and soil samples (how did the eldritch influence spread? Through creatures? Through water? Or was the whole area influenced when whatever lived in the basin came through?)

- She starts testing out a theory that the monsters in the area might actually be aberrations who’ve reached some evolutionary peak. This means trying to get samples from the monsters. Which means Jon getting very, VERY close to them. Only complicated by the fact that they make scientific equipment go absolutely haywire (not to mention she’s going off knowledge from the Eye and a crash course from the researcher), so the results prove… inconclusive.

- Once the photographer gives them a camera, they take lots of pictures. Mostly abberations and monsters, but occasionally the local wildlife too. Their favorites are the pictures they snapped of a sperm whale dragging a giant tentacle down to the depths.

- They save up until they can purchase a small apartment out in Greater Marrow. Much like their old flat, it’s barely used and barely organized, and it doesn’t feel even a little bit like home. Their notes are spread all over the place, pinned to walls and filling up shelves and piled all over their rickety desk. The photo of the sprem whale attacking the giant tentacle is pinned in the center of the corkboard (it was a very good, VERY lucky shot, and they think they were honestly more surprised than whatever the hell the tentacle was part of).

- He tried capturing one of the piranhas out in Devil’s Spine, but even dead, they call to their mother, and he has to toss them overboard or have his boat crushed between massive jaws.

- She consulted the researcher (and the Eye) about ways to keep a fish farm, but for the aberrations instead. It took a lot of trial and error, but she managed to keep one of what she classed as “incubator” aberrations (perhaps a cyclopean flounder?) until the “eye” hatched (for non-Dredge players: cyclopean flounders appear to have one giant eye, but it’s actually an egg (the pupil is a yolk)). Unfortunately, what exactly emerged from the egg is unknown. They Eye alerted Jon that it had hatched, but when she checked the area it was being kept in, she only found gorey remains, a hole in the mesh keeping the fish contained, and slime clinging nearby. It was a shame, she had gotten somewhat attached to the unfortunate flounder.

- He’d spend days, sometimes even weeks at a time using his spyglass to watch schools of fish with abberations, observing their behavior and how they interact with the regular fish. He tried going on a dive to observe them once, and I can’t decide if I want that to end with him getting attacked instantly, or with him awakening hours later on the deck, drenched in water, covered in seaweed, with no memory of what he saw and a notebook full of scribbles and gibberish. Either way, he 100% tries again multiple times later.

- Attempts to Know about the ocean or See below the surface of the water are met with… resistance. Part of it is the Eye’s limited presence, it’s only just gotten here and it’s still slowly gathering strength and they can’t draw much power from it (Useful in that it means they don’t need to take as many statements anymore, need to sustain themselves with human food too, but it also makes them weaker). Part of it is the sea itself. It doesn’t want to be seen or known or understood, and attempts to do so have been met with failure and sometimes attacks. (Jon still remembers their first attempt, where they tried to know if all that unnatural fog was somehow connected to the Lonely, reaching out with all their strength, only for a shark with shining white eye to rise to the surface of the water and tear a massive chunk out of the hull).

Ok that’s all I have for now. Go play Dredge. Goodbye.

#if you thought that I had forgotten. that I would let it be.#then you are Mistaken #anyway I think jon should be nonbinary and fish up eldritch monstrosities #also I keep imagining the Eye being (funnily enough) Jon’s only anchor in this world #he’s lost and frightened and alone and confused #and the only thing he has left of his old world. the only thing that might protect him. is the one that has caused so much harm to both #anyway now for sorting tags #jon sims #jonathan sims #tma #the magnus archives #dredge #dredge game #tma au #almost forgot!#tw body horror #body horror tw #(for the cyclopean flounder desc. figured better safe than sorry)#I feel bad about killing it actually #but we don’t actually knows what (if anything) hatches from those?#and while I do have some speculations I figured it was best to leave it an unpleasant mystery #given the description the coral grouper’s abberation? I don’t think the abberant fish lead happy healthy lives #I feel so bad for the poor dudes honestly #if you’re not gonna play the game I’d recommend looking up the fish art because it’s very pretty and also disturbing #be warned for lots and lots of body horror death and some gore tho. l #(coral grouper abberant is consumed grouper btw. and the desc makes me sad)#anyway goodbye for real now

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