#tw death of a spouse

[gladiatefm]

𝙷𝙰𝚃𝙴 𝙸𝚂 𝙰 𝙱𝙾𝚃𝚃𝙾𝙼𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚂 𝙲𝚄𝙿 . 𝙸 𝚆𝙸𝙻𝙻 𝙿𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙿𝙾𝚄𝚁 .      

mikey underhorn , district thirteen

— 𝙱𝙰𝚂𝙸𝙲𝚂

full name: mikiyla gloriana underhorn

nicknames: mikey

age: 40

gender / pronouns: cis woman , she  /  her

orientation: bisexual

cccupation: soldier , undercover as a gamemaker

home: district thirteen

— 𝙿𝙷𝚈𝚂𝙸𝙲𝙰𝙻 𝙰𝙿𝙿𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴

eye colour: brown

hair colour: brown

build: petite , muscular

height: 5′3″

piercings: lobes , cartilage

tattoos: her ex husband's name on her neck

distinctive features: calloused hands , scar running from her neck to her elbow

face claim: natalie portman

TW : death of a spouse , plague

— 𝙱𝙸𝙾𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙿𝙷𝚈

you hateful little thing . how can so much rage fill a body so small ? so small and yet you built and built until you felt nothing but the smooth ripples of muscle beneath your skin . you are strong, you will be nothing else but this .

from the beginning you have been forced to fight . first you fought the onslaught of plague that almost ended district thirteen for good, sick in your bed you pulled through until you promised yourself you would never feel such weakness again . as soon as you were able you joined thirteen's defences . young but determined, you clawed through their ranks . you ran, you lifted, you trained until you were unrecognisable from the tiny wisp of a girl who almost lost a fight to sickness . no one believed you could do it — it didn't deter you, but it sure as hell pissed you off .

little spitfire . he started calling you that and you hated him for it . and then you knew him . the rebellion pulled itself together after katniss everdeen's stunt in the games and soon you were training alongside him . yarro ashfall . you tried to hate him, but you couldn't . two years later, you were married .

you had five years of happiness when it happened . coin sent you both out to the woods beyond thirteen , your mission was to find refugees making their way to the swallowed district . it was a quiet day, but then the birds went still and your ears pricked up , you bared your teeth . hushed, your training took over when you saw them, a squadron of capitol peacekeepers . what were they doing out there ? you couldn't think, you could only fight . you left bleeding , scarred , and aching . you left a widow .

it didn't take long for thirteen to smother you . you couldn't breathe down there . your training tried to detach you from your feelings, to make you the perfect soldier . you fought that too . you couldn't stop fighting, and you couldn't stop feeling . you felt a rage so wild it could have spun out of your control — the only reason you could stand upon your own two feet was the promise that you would see the capitol burn .

you ended up there eight years ago . the undercover recruitment began and you threw yourself forward, desperate to be free of your underground prison . you were to be a gamemaker, to establish yourself within the capitol and prove yourself . you've done what you can, helped to devise new methods in which to murder these children . you promised yourself that you could live with it, you were playing the long game . there are worst games to play .

the time has come, finally . you and plutarch have come together to bring the arena down, but you can barely make it through the day . your jaw aches from forcing back the vitriol you feel for the other gamemakers, knuckles white from holding back the punches you want to swing .

you're almost there, but every limb is on fire with rage . hold on a moment longer .

[stevesbipanic]

@steddieangstyaugust Day 12: Terrible Things – Mayday Parade

"Daddy, Daddy! Tell me the story again."

"Which story is that lovebug?"

Steve's son giggled, "The love story."

Steve helped him into his bed, tucking him in, "The love story? But you ask for that one every night."

"Because it's the best!"

Steve smiled and kissed his forehead, "Ok, darling. Many years ago, in a little town called Hawkins..."

Meeting Eddie was the best thing that ever happened to him, barring meeting Robin and of course later, adopting Sam. It was pure chance that the metalhead walked into the bookstore that Steve ran with Robin. He remembered him from high school and Eddie was certainly surprised to find King Steve in a cosy little bookstore.

He kept coming back though, Steve didn't even mind when Eddie simply perused the aisles and didn't buy anything, he always would spend time talking to Steve.

"You're staring again."

"Maybe I'm just making sure you don't steal my wares."

"Oh but my dear Stevie I'm already a thief."

"Oh? What've you stolen?"

"Your heart."

They were inseparable, getting tipsy at their favourite bar, stargazing on the roof of Eddie's van, Steve was completely in love with Eddie.

"And that's where we will end it tonight."

"No! Daddy you didn't say the best part."

"Oh I'm sorry my little prince, you're right."

Steve had spent weeks finding the perfect ring, Robin had helped him. It was black with flecks of gold with a ruby set in it. He wrapped it and placed it under their tree at Christmas. It wasn't legal, but he wanted Eddie to know that he was it for him, forever.

"And they lived happily ever after." Steve whispered, Sam was snoring softly as Steve left his room.

Sam knows that's not really how the story ends. Steve really did propose but the tears Eddie cried weren't out of happiness. Eddie was sick, really sick. They didn't get forever, they got three years. They got a wedding and a son and Steve cherished every moment until the end.

Steve is glad that Sam remembers his other dad. How they used to dance around the living room on Eddie's good days, or would cuddle together the three of them on bad days.

"Fall in love again for me baby."

Steve couldn't, no one could compare to what they had. He instead fell in love with helping the kids out at his school, with watching Sam grow up, with doing all the things they had planned and carrying Eddie in his heart the whole time.

Most importantly he is glad his son remembers the love his dads shared. He never wants his son to resent love, Steve did for the first few months after Eddie passed, until his son asked Steve for a love story and he got to tell him the greatest love story of all.

[bleedingichorhearts]

𝐄𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐲 & 𝐈𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐲

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗: Careful on this one, was not feeling nice.

𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖉: @kit-williams, @egrets-not-regrets, @bispecsual, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sleepyfan-blog.

TW // Death Of Child, Death Of Spouse, Grief, Depression, Car Accident.

|°ᴛᴀɢ ʟɪꜱᴛ ᴀᴘᴘʟɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ°| |°ɪᴄʜᴏʀ’ꜱ ᴀᴏ3°| |°𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕃𝕚𝕤𝕥°|

Zadkiel carefully observes this woman viewing the settling landscape from the glass window of the human medical wing. Warm colors of the sun turning cold across the city’s rooftop’s for the moon to rise. The back of her still form turning into a black silhouette.

He worry’s the resting sun would be too bright for her to look at, but she sits still upon her chair with wheels. Her eyes never looking away from the sun, never blinking at it. It was like she wasn’t affected by it at all. He would have thought her blind if he couldn’t see how her eyes were not the white of blindness, but… dull. Not glazed with life.

Now he worries about what had happened to this woman. To make her loose such sentience on this Ancient Terra that was way better than future Terra where billions would loose their sanity the moment they step out of a Hive City. Where on this Ancient Terra it was more… free and lasting. Happy, some might say.

Why wasn’t this woman happy? Shining like the brightest star in the universe? He was sure she would look radiant with a bright smile on her face, he can envision it. How her body would glow like gold with a simple smile, or how her laugh would gracefully flow through the strings of time. Little dimples on her cheeks visible against her giggles.

Yet, here she is. Her glowing star long burnt out, exploded into dust and rock. Her smile nothing but a flatline on those soft lips of hers. Distraught by something that he wants to know. That he wants to avenge, to heal.

Such beauty should never look so dull. They should be polished, enriched for a better shine. They should be carefully cared for and cleaned with the softest cloth to be set as the finest jewelry upon the galaxies. Not that she already was; a diamond in creation. Set against the suns glow, but this one in particular had not been cared for in a long while. She had not been cherished.

Oh, how he wants to decorate her body with the finest treasures he can find: rubies, diamonds, gold and silver. She would look absolutely remarkable in them. To have them wrapped around her precious neck as a necklace, or around her petite wrists like a bracelet. Perhaps have them pierced into her skin?

Ah, but he doesn’t want to ruin the natural beauty of her. Not matter how much she is doused in his gifts, her organic beauty could never compare to any loyal material worthy of her skin. She was simply too elegant for a simple diamond to be place onto her skin. For copper to stain her skin green. Something that he makes a quick note to himself of not giving her such a low quality metal.

He then stops himself for a moment, his helmet tilting to the side. Questioning himself now. Since when did he want to know of this woman? To adore her with gifts? To make sure she was properly cared for and thriving once more? As far as he’s concerned he shouldn’t even be here at this human medical wing right now. It was way past the “visiting times,” and he has no reason to be here.

Yet, the simple thought of leaving the side of this woman chips at his heart’s like a chisel. Squeezing so unnecessarily at him for thinking about anything negative on her behalf. Which was just leaving her side and nothing harmful like some others would snide about. Almost humiliating it. Wishing they could cut them down with ease but they never could. Finding a calming solstice in their small and aging humanity.

Zadkiel then realizes this was the work of the Warp testing him. Calling out to him to be here or else he wouldn’t be here in the first place, admiring a hidden jewel behind laminated glass. A “bond” his cousins and brethren had told him about it, in more ways than one. How some were blessed with it or downright cursed, refusing that bond that sounded… very hurtful to do.

He stands there behind the woman now confused on… what to do. Should he accept this bond and cherish the woman like he wants to? Craves to do? Or hurtfully reject it? Leave the woman to continue looking out the glass window with him feeling ever more regrettable the more he walks away?

He heard stories were most tried to reject their bond naturally, only to get very “sick” when too long without them. Forcing them to become bonded if they wanted to be primed back into their original state. Some would actually kill their bonded, but suffer severe consequences after it. Having its price to pay. Not a lot come back from that one, but he doesn’t want to live in fear of a bond. It’s not what he wants. What he wants to do is admire the bond, be attentive to bond. Protect the bond with his life. He wants to adore this woman.

He knows he is younger than his older battle-brother’s, but he wasn’t that young to be a cocky scout. He definitely had his experiences and medals in war to have a will of choosing his own decisions, but this one seemed more… prominent. It was not something he could kill and forget or walk off on, no. It was… more than that. Nothing that he had experience on.

“She won’t move, no matter how long you stare.” He hears the masculine voice of the human approaching behind him. Hearing him a few, beeping floors down before making it to him. The nerves of his spine tickling to move him so he can put the male nurse a little less close to the silent woman, but he doesn’t move. Finding it… indecisive to do so. He wants to move the man away, but at the same time he thinks it’s unreasonable for him to do so. This man was barely a threat to him, nor anyone else around him. An apprentice of a human Apothecary at most.

His head tilts to his other side when he puts more thought into the apprentices’ words rather than pursuing his instincts to throw him out the window for taking another step forward into what he deems the women’s bubble. She… won’t move? Why won’t she move? He doesn’t smell anything on her that tells him she is injured? More like… nothingness.

That alarms him when he realizes he can’t smell anything on her. No natural scent, no family, no spouse, nor children, not even a shift in emotion, nothing. There was nothing on this woman for him to recognize her, and that hurts him in a way. How is he to protect her if he doesn’t recognize her? How is he supposed to keep her safe if he doesn’t know what she smells like? What made her aura and scent feel so… empty? That last thought made him straighten up his form, righting his posture.

“She used to be a mother.” The nurse talks to him in a sudden, smaller voice. Zedkiels’ black helm turning to look down at the apprentice with his red visor that turned to glow once the sun fully went over the city’s rooftops, turning the ending day to the beginning of night.

Zadkiel feels like he should get this start of the conversion from the woman herself. Not wanting to get information that maybe untruthful, but this could be a way for him to start recognizing her. He doesn’t have to recognize her by scent or kin. He can do it the more… classy way. He could learn about her to have a more better feel of the bond. To try and connect with her through her soul.

The apprentice with short, messy, brown hair glances up at him before glancing back at the woman. Unable to handle being under the red hue of his visor staring him down. His hands tucking his clipboard to his chest as Zedkiel gives him a small but questioning head tilt, wanting to learn more on this tragic woman that he has a pull to.

“She… she lost the child however, due to a car crash.” The man continues, tightening his arms around his clipboard. Clearly indicating this was a wide and saddening event that had happened here with this woman. “A son it was going to be.”

Zadkiel gets a hit of anger through his systems at that, shuffling his weight. He knows these… car crashes are quite common in this world; having it world wide count of deaths, but an unborn son involved in it? He believes that is heresy itself! Just where was the father in all of this?! Did he abandon her just because she lost a heir?!

“Her husband couldn’t be found in the process of her recovery.” The apprentice sighs heavily. “Yet, once he was found, it hurt to tell the already grieving patient that he wasn’t alive himself. Either by suicide or murder. I do not know, just started working that day, and everyone was not the same that day.”

The heatwaves of his anger cool off at that information of her… husband being in the afterlife, something that most can’t prevent, but Zedkiel can’t help but be put off by it. How could one lose a mate that wasn’t in the car crash? The mate couldn’t have known in time if he lost had lost his youngling to make a suicide attempt.

“She wasn’t the same.” The apprentice adds, gesturing his head towards the woman making his helmet turn back to her. His reflection bouncing off the dark window just as hers did. Her dull eyes never leaving her own reflection. “Never moved much unless it was necessary or when we gently push her to walk around the halls. Never stoped staring through blank walls and windows. Started eating less and less. Never responded again either; all signs of a Major Depression Disorder.”

Depression Disorder? He had heard of this… disorder before by his Apothecary. The head smaller medic giving a lecture when a few of his younger brethren questioned the older Apothecary about it while he was getting his wings preened. He learned that day, just as his brethren did. That disorder is something that could potentially cause death to a bond if not treated, nor cared for correctly. That’s when some of his bonded brethren butt in with some questions of their own if anything such comes to their bonded. Wanting to know how to treat it and prevent it from happening which the medic agreeably responds with some symptoms and how to treat it. Though, he gives on extra warning to stay close to their bonded, wherever they may go when the disorder had deeply affected the bonded.

Zadkiel instincts overboard him when he suddenly takes a cautious step forward. Not wanting to crack the floor underneath him or scare his bonded away as her eyes make contact with his visor reflection in the window, her awareness sending a surprising shiver down his spine.

She reminds him of a mute swan: a large, white, water bird he seen in a younglings book and at many bodies of water he’s flown across, or even flown with a bevy of them. Squawking at him for taking up their V formation, not afraid to take his own feathers off. Despite their…intent to get him off his own flight path, they were a beautiful creature to see; just like this grief stricken woman.

He take another and another step despite the apprentice telling him he wouldn’t be able to do much, they have already tried, but Zadkiel just won’t except that as an excuse for him not to approach who he has and is being pulled to, his little swan.

The closer that he gets to his swan the more his instincts impatiently urge him on, but he does hesitate a little when her eyes narrow a little on him in the reflection. Making him briefly think he should get closer to her at a slower rate, but his instincts flare up again. Pushing him forward to kneel in front of his swan with a thunk to the ground, cracking the flooring anyways.

His instincts tell him to get a move on and touch his swan already! Coo at her! But he doesn’t. He stays still kneeling in front of her, looking down at her, waiting for her. His Apothecary words running through his mind to keep him absolutely still. He needs to wait on his fragile swan to make a move before he does.

A long, seamless moment pass by with the apprentice threatening to call security in the background for evading a patient’s privacy. Yet he doesn’t move at the wasteful threat, gaining a reward instead when his little swans eyes finally turn away from his reflection in the window and look up at him. Getting the man to shut up about his boring threats of rules.

He waits a few moments longer as the apprentice sucks in air between his teeth, forgetting how to breathe as his swan slowly lifts up her delicate hand up to his helm. Her nails briefly, brushing up the ceramite of his helmet before resting on the cheek of it. Cooling his raging instincts at her touch.

Her hand stays there where he breaks from his own will to coo, purr and very gently nuzzle into her hand. Keeping an eye on her when he does, watching how she seemed to relax at his actions. His heart’s beating at her acception as he vows to never leave her side until the day he is slain.

Let’s get you to fly once more, little swan.

[jakey-beefed-it]

My cat, Frisbee, is dying.

He's been losing weight for a while now. At first it was a good thing, we thought- he was a big chonker of a tubby boy, and we figured switching him from unregulated kibble whenever he felt like it to set meal times of wet food, plus running up and down the stairs of his new house after he moved to Toronto with me, was making a difference. Certainly it did, but he continued to lose weight beyond his goal of 12 pounds, and began vomiting copious amounts of bile every couple of nights.

We took him in to the vet and confirmed he was a little underweight at 10.3 pounds, and with his list of symptoms the vet was hopeful that it was either feline diabetes or hyperthyroidism, both of which are treatable. Unfortunately, his white blood cell count came back outrageously high such that he almost certainly has gastrointestinal lymphoma. Which is apparently not uncommon in middle-aged cats (he's nearly ten).

They could confirm it with an exploratory surgery, but his health is obviously suffering already and there's no guarantee he'd survive the very expensive surgery. Much less the subsequent very expensive chemotherapy which would only buy him another six months to two years, on average.

Even if I had the money for the drastic options, I don't think I'd go for it- just putting the poor guy through all that when he can't understand why we're doing it. But I don't have the money anyway, so it makes it a little easier to accept that the best thing I can do for him now is make him comfortable and happy for as long as I can.

He's got, probably, a few weeks to a few months. Possibly a little more if he responds well to anti-inflammatories and can digest a bit more of his food a bit better. That much we can do for him.

I'm going to spoil him rotten for whatever time we have left. I already spoiled him with constant cuddles and affection and treats, but now instead of an overlarge handful of treats once a day, he's getting it two or three times a day. And mealtimes are off; he meows and runs to his bowl, he gets food. Why not- it will make him happy and it might make him a little stronger. His weight certainly isn't an issue.

He's been a dear friend these past nearly ten years, there for me with his head bonks and trilling purrs and grooming my beard for me like I was a fellow cat in good times and bad. He's the best cat I've ever had, and nothing can ever replace him. But there's nothing left for me to do but to make him as happy and comfortable as I can for as long as I can, until it becomes clear that he's suffering, at which point I can grant him a painless passing with me at his side.

I'm. Not doing well, emotionally, but that's to be expected. I love this little guy more than is remotely reasonable and I'm going to miss him like a vital organ when he's gone. But until then, yeah. He gets spoiled. He deserves it.

Pictured here in better health, a floofy chonker nonpareil.

[the-snake-and-the-steel]

"Achilles??"

Odette knocks on his door, trying to not slam their fists against it like most people normally need to in order to grab his attention from in there.

Achilles doesn't open the door. They knock again, a bit louder. This time, the familiar click and creak sound out from the inside as the door opens and light penetrates the shadows inside.

The two stand nearly face to face as he looks up at them and slowly blinks, expression void as ever. Odette crosses their arms.

"Yume's garden is missing. She is distraught and currently looking everywhere for it.... And you, as you were the last to accompany her. Hexe destroyed the garden, yes?"

He nods.

"Do you know where it is?"

Achilles hesitates before opening up the door more and stepping aside.

Odette steps into the room; this is probably their third least favorite room, given the tower it's in and how closely it resembles the dungeon. His bed looks like it's been made but slept on top of for years. There's dust covering the few pieces of furniture, and the chandelier above is shattered.

The only true source of is the candle on the desk, which flickers gently and reveals flashes of green and pink to Odette. Their eyes widen in surprise.

"After Hexe destroyed it, I figured perhaps I still could fix it for Yume. I used to do that a lot, in the real world," he mutters, walking over to his chair and sitting down. Odette reluctantly follows, the uneven, rocky ground serving awfully for their balance.

Achilles uses a spoon to shovel some dirt up, before placing one of the mini trees back into place and packing the dirt back around it. He covers the patch with a little moss, making sure it fades well into the rest of the ground.... Odette can see sections of the wall where he scraped the moss from.

The two sit in silence as Achilles continues to work... Odette hasn't seen him engage in anything like this since before Hexe, and even then they're sure that back then he would have laughed it off as 'childish' or 'unimportant.'

"Are you just going to watch or are you going to yell at me for what I said to Yume?"

"That was my initial idea, yes. But yelling has never really had an effect on you. By now I am plenty sure you know what you did was wrong and are ashamed."

Achilles nods, a bitter undertone washing through his blank face as Odette sits on the bed..... they note that compared to their own, it feels like wood.

"Truly, I just.... I simply do not understand, and I doubt anyone in this kingdom could. Just because she has the understanding of an adult does not mean you can vent to her as one, she is still a child."

Another silent nod.

"You have been unwilling to tell most about this, in fact as far as I know she and maybe 'her' are the only ones who know. Hexe found out by incident, if I remember correctly. Yet you turn around and tell the one member of the kingdom who you absolutely should NOT be telling any of that stuff! What were you thinking, unloading such weight on a child?"

"........"

"Well???"

"I didn't realize what I did until she left. I got lost in my mind, in the words. It's not an excuse, I understand that, but once I started, I...... I couldn't stop myself."

Odette looks out at the blocked out window, covered by bricks that don't match the rest of the interior.

"I think she heard it as well."

"..... heard what?"

"The sounds."

"What sounds?"

"The sounds of the crash."

As soon as the word 'crash' leaves his mouth, Odette's ears prick to something distant and hollow..... screaming. No.... squealing?

"What was that?" They look around frantically, confused.

"That was one of the sounds," Achilles replies, staring at the almost finished garden in front of him. He sets down his tools and faces Odette.

Odette feels a shiver run down their spine. They hadn't heard a sound like that since they were young...... what was it again, what was it.....

Suddenly they realize.

Tires.

"..... Achilles. Tell me what happened. Tell me now."

"You'll hear all the sounds as well. You won't look at me the same way. It's not pretty."

"I often attempt to refrain from talking about this, but I have experienced many harsh trials in my life, Achilles, that I would say have brought me resilience to hearing of most things. I do not take pride in that, per say, but I know if no one else can listen know, I certainly can. Perhaps it would help you-"

He gives them a skeptical, annoyed glance.

".... alright, maybe it would not help... but it would ensure you are not carrying such a burden fully alone. Someone would understand a bit more."

He's quiet for a long, long time. Odette holds their breath, both hoping and dreading to know this information. Maybe it's much worse than they thought.

"... I don't know where to start."

Their heart skips as they simultaneously sigh a breath of relief. This is actually going to happen.

Achilles speaks up again before Odette can. "You had a family, correct?"

".... I did, yes."

He closes his eyes. "I was getting ready to start one with my wife."

".... you had a wife?"

Achilles nods and looks up at the ceiling, leaning back in his chair. "... Galene. We met at college, and she was my tutor at first. I always was working through life, quickly, feeling like I had to do something.... but not with Galene. The silent moments in each others' company were worth more than the world, more than the galaxy, more than every star in the night sky. Her company settled the waves of thoughts crashing into my mind into calm, elegant seas that were still hardly comparable to her grace and tranquil nature."

He smiles, such a lovesick yet heartbroken grin filling his face. "The day we got married, I sobbed at the altar, watching her walk down the aisle with that shy, loving grin that I always wanted to be the cause of. I wanted to give everything to her, and I worshipped the very ground she walked on and the air she breathed. No amount of words in any language could describe her and the peace she brought to my life."

Odette looks up at the shattered chandelier as Achilles describes Galene..... he talks with more pure love and emotion than he had ever once expressed. She can almost feel that calm presence he spoke so highly of, easing the room around them.

His smile grows more.

"And then...... we found out we were expecting."

Odette's eyes light up, forgetting the heaviness of the situation for a moment. "You were going to have a child?!"

Achilles chuckles, thinking back on the memory fondly.

"I was about your age, 32. Seeing the test and Galene's smile was the second greatest day of my life.... doctors said it would be a miracle if she would be able to have a child. Our praises to the heavens and gods above that day were endless. We were going to be parents. I was going to be a father."

Odette feels their smile grow.... he was married. And a to-be father.

....

Was.

His smile starts to fade. Odette hears something in their ears again.... the low, nostalgic hum of a car.... followed by some faded voices.

"We learned we were going to have a girl... me, Galene, and her sister Maharene, all in the ultrasound room. Maharene was more like me. She was loud and confident and oh so protective of her sister.... a fighter. Never afraid to speak her mind... we fought sometimes, but she ended up being my best friend."

They nod slightly as one of the voices grow clear.

"@;#>@^×, keep your eyes on the road!"

"We were driving home from the clinic where we learned our baby's gender... and I was talking with my friends. They wanted to meet up for drinks and games at our favorite bar that night."

"Were you... calling them?"

"No.... texting."

Odette felt their blood run cold. They had forgotten what texting was until that point.... and also the horrors of what happened when people texted and drove.

They suddenly realize what must have happened. Suddenly, knowing this doesn't feel like such a good idea anymore.

A flash of green passes by in Odette's vision, as Achilles closes his eyes. He barely seems to realize they're there anymore, just talking to no one in particular.

"Texting while driving was the one habit Galene couldn't get me to fix, I thought I was a natural. Maharene nearly slapped the phone out of my hand that day. Galene stopped her but kept telling me to get off the phone. I didn't. I kept trying to make plans with my friends."

Odette blinks slowly, and the vision of a car interior down a road fills their mind. The voices are louder and clearer.

"@;#>@^×, get off the damn phone, you almost hit that lady!!!"

"Please, you can message them when you get home, just- please- get off the phone!"

"And I didn't."

The pleading gets louder, as well as the sounds of the car.... Odette feels their breath escape them and mind grow dizzy. They feel like they can't open their eyes, and every direction looks wrong and distorted. Somewhere in the distance, they hear Hexe's taunting laughter.

"I didn't see the intersection. And I didn't notice the red light as I typed out my message."

"HONEY- PLEASE!!!"

"@;#>@^× PAY FUCKING ATTENTION!!!"

Odette sees the shape of a large pickup truck appear from the right side of the vision.... it appears so fast they hardly have time to react.

"@;#>@^×!!!!"

*CRASH*

......

.....

....

...

..

.

Odette gasps as the vision vanishes, not realizing they were blocking their right side. It ended right as the truck made contact.... right as the crash rang out. It looked so real. It sounded so real. It felt so real.

Hexe cackles loudly from afar, a bitter sound added to the ringing in their ears. They look over to see Achilles staring straight ahead at the wall, tears rolling down his horrified face.

"The next thing I see is Galene with half her head missing, and her stomach burst open.... something with one of the truck parts stabbed right through her. Her lap was a mess of guts and what I assumed was Halia..... for once, I didn't recognize her."

His voice is low and dry, as if forcing his vocal cords to work.

"I killed everyone in that crash. The driver.... Maharene... Galene and our daughter. Everyone. I was the only one who lived. And I spent half our savings trying to save any one of them.... but they were all dead on impact."

"It led to prison for 8 years. During that time, everyone in our hometown learned of what happened. I lost everything. Everyone left me. My family. My friends. My job. The rest of our savings. Everything and everyone."

Achilles looks down, voice catching on a sob as he stares at his hands.

"They told me to stop. They told me to put it away. It was only a 20-minute drive, I could have waited. But I didn't. I didn't listen."

Odette feels sick to their stomach. They don't have a good response.... how does one even go about responding to such a thing?

"I think she left me in the afterlife.... I don't feel Galene around me anymore. The silence is just.... silence. No comfort. No love. Just a deafening reminder of what I did. Only reason I didn't kill myself and join her was because it all felt too.... easy. I didn't deserve to see my family again like that. I couldn't."

Odette swallows back a cry and whispers, barely audible.

"... how did you... end up here then? You didn't remember anything when you got here, right?"

Achilles somewhat realizes Odette is still listening. He's a bit surprised they're still there.

"No. I heard that one of my coworkers, who died a while back, his son had taken this job and gone missing... heard sketchy things about that company, figured it was time to die and I'd let them choose how to do it. Not like anyone would care if I disappeared. So I went in, faked some things, got the job."

"The day they put the headset on, I was on some pills that fuck with memory for a bit. Guess it fucked with the headset too.... 'cause I was back to how I was. And I couldn't remember a damn thing."

Odette nods. They remember how Achilles used to be..... bold, brave, loud, confident, cocky... some would even say a bit insufferable. He still played his role of "hero" perfectly, helping people however they needed and not resting until the job was complete. He and Icia shared that sentiment with each other.

"How did you remember...? Was it because of Hexe?"

"No. Dunite."

Odette's quiet for a moment.

".... Dunite?"

"I was curious to know. Everyone was talking about their old lives and... I couldn't remember any of mine. So I asked if she could do something about it.... she could. And she did. Remembering everything all at once was probably worse than any punishment Hexe could dish out."

"I've tried every way under the sun to undo that spell. You've seen the extremes I've resorted to." He stares at his wrists, faded scars along the length of his forearms. "Though, now that you know, can you really blame me...? You'd want to die too if you were forever subjected to remembering the worst mistake of your life, over and over, every minute of every day. You stop fearing seeing your victims in heaven and just want to go to your punishment in hell."

Achilles stares ahead, tears falling onto the greenery of the garden. All the emotion is completely overwhelming him, talking about such an event in depth after so long of keeping silent.

"Every day... every hour... every minute.... every second. I just remember it all and ask myself why. Why didn't I listen...? Why did I think it'd be fine...?"

"Why did I do it....?"

Odette says nothing.

Achilles adds the finishing touches to the restored garden. "Look... I'm not sorry for hiding this, but I am sorry for letting it spiral into this. Yume didn't deserve to hear all of that..... neither did you, although you were persistent. I wish you weren't, It doesn't benefit anyone in any way..... though, I suppose someone understanding a little more makes this kingdom feel a little more like something of a home again. A little less foreign and cold.... even if that's really all this place is now.

"......."

He picks up the garden and turns in Odette's direction without looking up at them. "You should probably bring this back to Yume now...... she didn't deserve to hear all of that. She's a child. Doesn't matter her maturity.... I shouldn't have told her any of that, and I'm hoping this can serve as something of an apology to her. She'll probably know that it was me. She always knows."

He finally looks up at Odette. They're staring at him with the widest, most heartbroken eyes he's ever seen on another person, face stained with blackish tears that soak into their shaking hands folded in their lap. They shake as they swallow a little, trying to hide the sheer devastation on their face. It's a sight that catches Achilles very, very off guard.

"..... Ode...?"

They glance away and wipe their tears with a hand, taking a few shaky breaths and nodding.

"... I'm alright."

"... No, you're not. Don't hide it. No one is okay just... hearing all that. Especially when they see and hear exactly what I'm talking about."

They look back up at him, fresh tears taking their place down their face. Achilles gives them a grief-filled smile. A smile of no happiness, no joy.... simply hollow, dead, unending pain and grief.

"..... I'm so sorry, Achilles. I'm so sorry for you and your wife and y-your daughter and...." They try to continue before their voice catches on a sob, and Achilles holds up a hand.

He shakes his head. "Be sorry for them.... not for me. It's my burden. This is...." He lowers his head, tears lightly plinking against the stone ground. "This is my fault, and my consequence. It doesn't make up for what I did... but if I can't get them back, what's the point of trying to make it better....? It won't get better. I've accepted that. You should, too... being sad over me won't make a difference. Just gives you one more thing to worry about."

He offers them a hand, and after a few seconds, they take it and stand uneasily. Achilles carefully places the fixed garden in their arms.

"Bring this to Yume.... she'll appreciate it."

"... what about you?"

"I'll do what I always do. Like I said, talking about this doesn't make it better for me. Just makes the memories a bit louder," he replies.

They nod and look down at the garden.... it looks good as new. Even the fish are alright and happy.

".... are you going to be alright?"

".... in due time, yes. Will you...?"

"I suppose as okay as I can be." He still has tears slowly rolling down his face. "Go see Yume now.... she's probably looking for you. And one more thing.... please don't tell anyone. This is one bit of gossip I don't want getting to Mirobelle and the twins."

They nod slightly; not that they would even think of letting such a private, horrifying secret reach anyone else's ears. After a few seconds, Odette sets the garden on the bed and approaches Achilles, pulling him into a hug.

He noticeable freezes in their arms as a choked sob escapes their lips.... the hug only lasts a few seconds before they pull back and attempt to smile at him.... it's more like a grimace.

".... farewell for now, Achilles. T-thank you for this talk... I... I hope to see you again soon."

They pick up the garden once more and walk out of the room, desperately trying to stop their tears as the light from the hallway almost blinds them.

Achilles just stares at the open door for a few seconds before looking down at the ground.

A small chuckle escapes his mouth.

It turns into heavy laughter.

And then melts into agonizing, mournful sobs as he falls to his knees, the blunt force of memories whaling on his mind.

(I'm sorry... I'm sorry..... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry....)

Achilles continues to wail out for his lost family, alone in his room, wishing for nothing more than to undo what was done or pay the cost for it with his life.

A price he will never be able to pay.

Meanwhile, the sound of heavy footsteps walking away from the hall rings out from an unknown location.

[slcwshow]

the gentle warmth of the rising sun. love in the form of a home-cooked meal. meeting people where they are. motes of dust in a beam of light. the comforting presence of an animal companion. deep-set laughter lines. taking your time. the smell of fresh hay. the velvet hide of a newborn calf. offering someone a taste of whatever you’re cooking. keeping the door open and leaving the light on. coming when you’re called. the unshakeable belief that people will always deserve another chance.

statistics.

full name:  joshua alain bennett nickname(s)/alias(es):  josh, jay name meaning:  god is deliverance age:  thirty-six date of birth:  october 16th star sign:  libra place of birth:  pelican town, stardew valley current location:  pelican town, stardew valley gender:  cis-male pronouns:  he/him sexual orientation:  bisexual occupation:  rancher family:  thomas bennett (father), dominique bennett (mother, née alain), lisette alain (maternal grandmother), katherine ‘katie’ bennett (wife, deceased) education level:  high school graduate living arrangements:  lives by himself at sweet pea ranch loved gifts:  hashbrowns, apples, honey hated gifts:  rabbit foot, parsnips, ginger

biography. (death of a spouse tw)

Joshua was born in Stardew Valley, and had no intention of ever leaving it.

He’s a farm boy through and through - Sweet Pea Ranch is his family home, and he’s worked there since he was old enough to toddle around on his own. One of his earliest memories is of a calf being born.

Even as his childhood friends grew up and moved away, Joshua was content to keep treading water, going through the motions of small town life as naturally as breathing.

Things changed when he met Katie. She blew into town for the Stardew Valley Fair, and he was smitten with her right away.

Katie was only supposed to stay in town for a week, but a week quickly became a month, and months became a year, until it was as if she’d always been there.

After three years of dating, Joshua finally asked Katie to marry him. The ceremony was held in the Pelican Town Square, and you couldn’t’ve asked for a happier couple.

A year after Joshua and Katie got married, the couple relocated to the suburbs of Zuzu City, to be closer to Katie’s parents.

For five years, everything seemed certain. Life wasn’t easy, but it didn’t matter because they were happy - they were together. And then, with one telephone call, everything fell apart. Katie had been hit by a car as she cycled into the office she worked at, and died of her injuries en route to the hospital. Joshua didn’t get to say goodbye to her.

After Katie died, Joshua went home to his family in the Valley. He didn’t recognise himself, couldn’t make sense of his life in the city without his wife, and he couldn’t think of anything to do except go back to what he knew.

It took a long time to get back to himself, but Joshua threw himself into his work at the ranch, and as the hurt grew less, made increasing efforts to engage with the community that had always taken such good care of him.

Four years ago, Joshua’s parents left the Valley and moved south to care for his grandmother, Lisette, in her old age. He runs Sweet Pea Ranch by himself now, and he is happy… but sometimes the old farm house feels a little big for just him and his dog.

other things.

Joshua only stopped wearing his wedding ring in the last year.

He’s a big gridball guy, and proudly supports the Zuzu City Tunnellers. He was there with his dad when they won the league a few years back.

Never let this man think you’re going hungry - he will turn up on your doorstep with a bag of groceries and half a dozen foil-covered dishes, no questions asked.

All of Joshua’s cows have southern belle names (Adelaide, Beatrice, Clementine, Delia…), and his bull is called Bruce.

Work permitting, Joshua tries to speak on the phone with his family at least once a week. He also writes them frequently, and mails photos of how things are going at the ranch.

He rescued his dog, Cricket, three years ago. She’s the ranch’s only other full time employee.

[billieconway]

👤 + logan!

"I could talk about that man for hours. Days. Years. I'll be preaching the gospel of Logan Conway for the rest of my natural life and I'm pretty sure everyone around me will be sick to death of it. But to put it in the plainest terms -- he was good. He was a good man. Literally, the man who would run headfirst into the first when everyone else was running out. And I used to think that that was the thing that I loved most about him. But then, after he died, I started to hate him for it. I was mad about it for a long time wishing that he'd for once been a selfish man -- but the irony in that would be that I never would have married him if he was a selfish man. So the simplest things to say without taking up precious hours of someone's life is just to say: He was good. I loved him. I miss him in my bones."

[xdefendingandy]

@pleinsdemuses

Andy had never been fond of small towns. He’d always been a city boy, Boston raised and Cambridge for school, then Newton when he and Laurie had decided to start a family. The appeal of disappearing somewhere after the deaths of his family was too great to pass up though, and it wasn’t like he'd had a lot of job offers at the time. The practice was small, just him and one other man who'd been there longer than Andy had been alive. He drank too much, and Andy spent half his time putting out fires with their clients and taking up the slack. It wasn’t the cutthroat challenge he was used to, but it filled his time. Most of it.

There were times he wondered whether the anonymity of a larger city wouldn't have been better for him though. It had taken longer than he’d expected for his past to be discovered here, and there had been whispers for weeks everywhere he went. He ignored it and then, as expected, it simply died off and no one seemed bothered by it anymore. But Christ, the town didn't even have a proper coffee shop, just a Starbucks, and a grand total of two bars, one of them decidedly touristy on the main street, and the other a dive further off the beaten path.

Andy preferred the first one. He didn’t need the mess of lasting attachments, and the only people he ever took home were tourists, never locals, people he'd never seen in town before and would likely never see again. He’d had enough scandal to last him a lifetime, even of the small town variety. He’d noticed when she came in, and so had half the guys in the place. There was a rowdy group of them at a table by the window, some sort of college sports team passing through town, who hadn't been quiet about it. He shook his head, faintly amused and faintly disapproving, as he turned back toward the bar and picked up his beer bottle. In all of history, he couldn’t imagine catcalling a woman had ever once worked.

[dogbound1128]

Villian: *Does a bunch of horrible things*

Me: Man what an asshole

MC: What the heck why you do that

Villian: My wifea... and my kidda... they gone...

Me every time:

[uuninsane]

RAE KWON. / the black dahlia

don't blame him, all the blues i have these days, no, it's not on him, no, no - bibi

black dahlia ; scentless flower. what purpose do you serve ?

short sum: a girl born to a career criminal father turned informant, grew up most of her life in witness protection, learning how to defend herself and act normal. scooped up by red eye after her father was taken from her. she leads a double life, a capable and spiteful person, who grew up the hard way and learned from those lessons. restoring art for a living, punishing the occasional criminal for a hobby.

(full & more detailed about to be found HERE).

[ssolessurvivor]

@timeguardians 💕 (for a plotted starter)

The whole situation had been unforeseeable, but here they were, carrying King Eric's casket down to the catacombs where he will lay beside his forefathers. All circumstances had been unfortunate, and with Ariel now raising little Melody alone, Logan felt his own heart growing immensely heavy at the toll the Queen must be enduring even in her stoic silence. He'd found her after the funeral and held her for a while, just to show his support, his understanding.

That turned into a rather unspoken agreement, it seemed. He'd been walking by the nursery and found Ariel standing gazing out the window, holding little Melody who wouldn't stop seeming to be on the verge of tears. Logan didn't even hesitate in walking into the room, placing a hand on the Queen's shoulder so as not to startle her, and gently took Melody from her arms.

"I've got her, your grace." He murmurs, having been careful to remove the coat he'd been wearing earlier so Melody wouldn't poke herself on any of his finery. "Go get something to eat, take a walk, do something for you." Logan's voice is soft, not threatening in any way but calm, in an effort to spill some of that feeling over the royal.

[isurrendertoclones]

TW suicide and death and clone dehumanization

(This gets kinda dark!)

I was thinking about Javert, and then thinking about Dogma (as one do)

And I was thinking that there are…Certain Parallels

And that got me thinking about Fives actually trying to stop them from taking Dogma, only to find out that they weren’t taking him to kill him*—they were taking him because he tried to kill himself. And maybe Dogma asked to be reconditioned because he couldn’t live with himself

And then Fives is like C’MON, you were making such progress!!! “Dogma, you don’t want to forget about Tup and Hardcase**, do you?”

Dogma: …no…

*he’s fine he’s totally fine! 😅

**Hardcase is also fine

[appalachiananarchist]

One of our nurses lost her husband recently and was depressed about having to spend her first Valentine's Day in decades without her valentine. All of the clinic staff brought her flowers and candies, so she spent the whole day yesterday surrounded by valentines. It was the sweetest thing ever and reminded me that I work with some very good-hearted people.

[unovan-gardener]

Hey since you're CD's dad could you settle a debate?

CD says they're not a plant. Lots of other people say they are a plant. Including a dryad who I assume would be able to recognize other plants? Idk how dryads work

My child is not a plant. Please stop calling my child a plant.

My wife died in childbirth.

....Please do not erase her efforts.

[teal-bandit]

Where is my AU where Ma Creed bludgeons her husband for torturing their son?

[heirtothetrib]

“ you’re not alone. ” ( from katherine )

"He's really gone. He's not coming home. He's..." Darcy stared off into the distance, tears falling freely. His husband, his other half, his Tommy... he wasn't coming home. Darcy was just holding his hand in the hospital, not even a day ago and now he was just gone. What was he going to do? They had two beautiful babies at home that needed their papa. How the hell was he going to do this?

"I- I can't do this, Kitty."