#tw // abuse Tumblr posts

[kentauer]

[carto0ncritter]

If Stella really was abusive from the start like S2 claims, Stolas should have divorced her as soon as Octavia was born and raised her by himself away from his abusive wife.

But no, Stolas apparently stayed in a toxic marriage for 17 years even though he wouldn't have lost ANYTHING had he divorced!!! The bird man literally only divorced Stella after he slept with Blitzø (his booty call), which means that Via grew up in a toxic household all her life (according to S2 at least; S1 tells us something completely different about the Stolas/Stella relationship aka that it wasn't arranged marriage, here's a great post as to why).

Moral of the story: Stolas is a selfish pos who only divorced Stella to thirst over Blitzø, his victim (not for Octavia to have a "normal life")

He was the one who didn't intervene from the start by getting Stella away from himself and (especially) his only child, and let Via grow up in an abusive home for all those years.

[15-lizards]

thinking really hard ab my clegane daughter ocs again... me nd @sshireens have created such a rich and fucked up life for them...

time to be cringe on main and force y'all to listen to me talk ab them <3 <3

Dagmar (elder daughter from the first wife) vibes tho I don't have a set in stone face claim for her yet these r her general vibes. Obviously she's not as pretty as these models she's kinda unfortunate she takes after her dad. Really deep set eyes and heavy brow bone, square jaw, wide nose, tall and stocky for her age. Kinda like Brienne if she didn't have good vibes.

Anywayssss she's so much like her uncle that Sandor sometimes wonders if he did some sort of asexual reproduction and had her. Really keeps up the tradition of Cleganes being rabid (but loyal) dogs. Super hostile and antisocial, absolutely CANNOT regulate her emotions, borderline personality disorder queen omg. Low tolerance for basically anyone and anything (except her sister) and has really huge emotional outbursts over seemingly small things. Except for when she's around Gregor cause she goes into safety mode and just shuts out all stimuli. Just super tense, constantly on-edge, and really disregulated emotions she has literally never known peace. Her cortisol levels are So High.

Why is she like this u may ask??? excellent question. Answer: nuclear threat to all women Gregor Clegane happens to be her dad. When she was like barely 2 her mother died "mysteriously" so she got to be alone in Clegane Keep with her rapist murder dad, his rapist murder buddies, and some horrified servants and a septa. Yippeeee. Obviously Gregor felt the need to establish dominance over every woman and girl, and this was only increased by her intense personality, so Dagmar is subject to all kinds of abuse as a child. She learns pretty quickly that u can't really fight back against him so she just shuts down anytime he's in her vicinity as to not pose a "threat" to him. It sorta works. Then lets out her emotions on everything else: serving boys, kennel hounds, herself, etc etc. Half of the time she's in a blind rage and the other half she's in a hopeless dissociative state :) Actively suicidal and she's not even fifteen. HOWEVER when she's like six the light of her life and reason to keep living is born...

And cue Iva (younger daughter from the second wife) and if she ever survives to adulthood (unlikely) it is Scripture to me that she looks like a young Carol Kane. Sunken cheeks, pallid skin, wide protruding bug eyes, long nose, dry and frizzy pale hair. Very very sickly because her mom gave birth a month early and then died bc of it. So all she has is her big sister :]

While Dagmar's response to most things is aggression and really reactionary over-emotional outbursts, Iva is the complete opposite. She likes to run and hide in corners every time she senses confrontation or even gets slightly uncomfortable. Very very avoidant and anxious. Gets to live in her own little mind palace most of the time bc Dagmar is there to protect her. However Dagmar protects her a little too hard and now she is overly dependent on her big sis. Pathetically helpless. Selectively mute a good bit of the time bc it all just gets to be overwhelming and she feels safer just not interacting with the outside world. Super passive like an actual human doormat (if she ever let anyone actually talk to her)

And she is the way she is for [see Gregor reasons above]. However since Dagmar was there when she was born, her big sis sees this weak little baby and feels protectiveness for the first time in her life. Iva is HER baby and Dagmar never lets her out of her sight. Not in a cute overprotective sibling way but in a really aggressive "don't do that you stupid idiot I know what's best for you don't ever leave me way" cause that's how she shows her love so Ivas like Ah this is what love must be like. Obviously Dagmar can't protect her from everything so Iva is abused in the same ways, but slightly less often because Gregor sees her as less interesting and less of a challenge because of her passiveness. So Iva's response is to make herself even smaller and ignore all her problems to live inside her own head lalalalalala

And when they're together oh these girls give a new meaning to Codependent. Dagmar sneaking into Iva's room after Gregor leaves it one night and getting so upset to the point of breaking things and grabbing Iva until she bruises her sister even more. But Iva is comforted by it because that rage means Dagmar cares ab her. Dagmar literally beating a stable boy into a vegetable state (or killing him, ur choice) for trying to grab Iva's skirts. Iva is in literal medical shock seeing a (near) dead body on the ground that got put there for HER while Dagmar is smiling with her bloody knuckles bc it felt good to hurt someone protect her sister (She actually feels horrifically guilty about it later but manages to ease the cognitive dissonance by telling herself that she was protecting Iva so it absolves her of everything bc Iva is perfect and fragile and can't be hurt). One time at a feast when the girls are in their pre/mid teens, Gregor makes an offhanded comment about marrying "the prettier one" off soon and Dagmar forgets her dad trauma for a hot second, bc her urge to keep Iva safe is that strong, and literally throws a serving plate at his head. Later when Dagmar is in her room, with three less teeth and five new giant bruises, Iva is cleaning her up and weeping and just wanting to curl up with Dagmar in bed and forget the rest of the world forever. Meanwhile Dagmar is planning out the murder-suicide she will enact if Iva does get married off. She doesn't tell her sister that just yet but Iva would be more than okay with it. Cause how can Dagmar live without her guiding light morality pet only good thing she has and how can Iva live without her only dog her only knight. YAYYYYYY

[cjbolan]

Biggest takeaway from the EPIC “Wisdom” and “Vengeance” Sagas: Poseidon is a much better dad than Zeus. Poseidon will kill anyone who hurt his kids, Zeus hurts his kids with lightning bolts as punishment.

[divorceblogger]

The Shining (1980) // The Vampire Armand, Anne Rice

[violetsandshrikes]

I met a girl when I was fresh out of high school in undergrad who frankly, annoyed me quite a bit, but I also had an inkling to continue to be compassionate to her given a few things about her life/background/family

I ran into her two years ago. Last week, her daughter turned 1. This girl, let’s called her “P”, is a really good example of why I never feel comfortable mocking trad wives

Her perfect trad husband, who was a shining young figure in the local religious community, volunteered in all sorts of groups, well loved in his workplace and everything else, beat her up at 1 month post-partum. I reached out to her after seeing her desperately asking for a stroller on a page, confused and slightly concerned knowing both of them came from wealthy backgrounds.

The reality for lots of tradwives living “perfect lives” is this: P was immediately ostracised. All the wealth of her husband and her family meant absolutely nothing if she wasn’t in favour and doing what she was told. Her child and her well-being didn’t matter. P, at 25 years old, was basically deemed an oopsie, and left on her own to figure out how to pay for herself, a baby, find housing, and every other task you can think of.

Having known many of these women (and supported many of these women), another factor most people don’t consider is this: they are intentionally raised to be helpless. When I immediately offered my support to P, she really needed it. This young woman needed to be guided through how to apply for government assistance, how to weigh up rentals and apply for them, how to apply for jobs, how to sign up for childcare. How to sign up for your own power and internet, and how to connect them.

It wasn’t that she was “stupid”, or incapable, or spoiled. While it looks like they’re being sheltered, in reality, these women are practically being held hostage. Sure, they might be allowed to learn things that are expected of them (see: basic cooking, baking, cleaning, child rearing, women’s bible studies, hosting, and so forth) but they are heavily controlled from family life into marriage life, and they are never given the opportunity or the reality of what many of us would consider basic adult tasks.

She’s doing okay now. Her daughter turned 1, is happy and healthy. They live frugally, but they have a roof over their heads and the essentials. I often babysit for her so she can attend counselling, or go to a woman’s support group. She is painfully aware that she has so much to learn about how to live as an adult.

I don’t envy tradwives, but I don’t find any joy in mocking them either. Even when they live the most picturesque lives, they’re also practically living a real life Jenga game. If (and often, when) it comes tumbling down, they’re screwed too, and they often have 0 skills to help themselves or find community (that again, isn’t carefully curated).

[wildbasil]

things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷

[classycookiexo]

[animentality]

[temperheist]

mentorship was probably scary for him at first

[caliburn-the-sword]

"hur hur gabe wasn't as abusive as he was in the books" people can all shut up. percy's jaw TREMBLED when ares yelled at him, which had nothing at all to do with his god status - percy backtalks gods just fine. he had trauma response to ares yelling. ares didn't so much as lift a finger. that goes to speak volumes about what percy was experiencing at home

[carto0ncritter]

There's a difference between choosing to forgive your abuser (that is for the victim to decide) and choosing to be in a committed relationship with them. Just saying

[fayevalcntine]

Claudia + Birds + "Baby Lulu" [insp.]

[shirecorn]

Monsters

Bittersweet Dreams || Perspective || Evil || Fighter

[arillustrated]

something that i really like about blue eye samurai, now that im thinking about it, is that it discusses violence against women without becoming torture porn. like, in a lot of media that portrays women's issues, they show you that scene. like they give you this extended visual of a woman experiencing something traumatic and then laud themselves as feminist for doing so.

blue eye samurai doesn't do that. the whole show is set in a world that is extremely antagonistic toward women, and it makes a point to tell you that being a woman right now sucks, because they are property and are used sexually. but even though it doesn't shy away from this, it doesn't show you the violence itself, which you would almost expect it to because of how graphic the rest of the show is.

im thinking specifically of kinuyo. they very well could have shown us a scene of her being abused, but they didn't. they didn't show the abuse itself, but they did show how it affected her. they showed her seeing a doctor for her sores. they could have made this incredibly traumatic and grotesque scene a spectacle, showing us exactly how powerless she is and how powerful he is. they could have shown us this incredibly triggering event in full detail for our entertainment, but they didn't. they chose not to. and i think that's how it should be.

it is not necessary to have an extended visual and auditory reenactment of violence against women. we the audience understood the gravity of the situation and were able to empathize without needing that scene. having that scene would have completely detracted from the point they are trying to make. it would have turned something completely reprehensible that women everywhere fear because it's a very real issue into entertainment.

[itwouldeatyoualive]

as funny as everything is, i really am genuinely impressed and honestly really grateful for how bill and ford's relationship is depicted. it's rare to have an abusive relationship shown in kid's media, and even rarer for one to be realistic AND be treated as unhealthy. obviously the circumstances are fantastical (possession, dream gods, etc.) but the abuse in the relationship is honestly very realistic. like the things that bill does to ford- threatening to leave him for another, blaming him for the things that bill does to him, isolating him from his friends and family, making him heavily dependent on bill- these are all genuine tactics used in abusive relationships and i guess i'm just really grateful and happy to not only see this depiction, but to see ford healing from it. that he's finally able to break away from it, to tell his family about it and have them support him. that is just such a wonderful thing and i love it.