#tumblr/LIAT

[galleryyuhself]

LIAT - A history of aviation in the Caribbean - compiled by Darrel Lou-Hing

1950 SIR FRANK HENRY SAPENNE DELISLE

The founder of Leeward Islands Air Transport Ltd. LIAT

A bit of history

Frank Sapenne Delisle O.B.E.

Managing Director, Leeward Islands Air Transport Ltd.

Director, Montserrat Co. Ltd.

Born: St Kitts Dec. 5, 1918.

Educ: St Kitts Grammar school and St Mary's College Halifax Nova Scotia.

Dept of Agriculture, St Kitts 1936-46;

Married March 4, 1941, Valentine May, daughter of Dr. W.A. Slack Medical Officer of St Kitts. 3 daughters, Marie Yvonne (Mrs Randolph) Jeanne Marie, Marie Therese.

Joined Montserrat, Co. Ltd. as Estate Man'gr., 1945; Man'gr.

1948; served as member executive council, Mont.,

1952; Member Montserrat Cotton Growers' Assoc. Fruit and Veg. Prod. Adv'y Bd.

Represented Montserrat at W.I. Sea Is. Cotton Conf St Vincent 1952 and at Livestock course in Br. Guiana. Club: New. Sport: Tennis.

Founded L.I.A.T. Airline, 1956.

Member Airline Operations Committee. Recreation Swimming Address Hodges Bay Antigua.

Prime Ministers laud Kittitian founder of LIAT airline

Fifty-five years after the establishment of LIAT (1974) Ltd by Mr. Frank Delisle, a national of St. Kitts and Nevis, in October 1956, with a single Piper Apache aircraft, the airline continues to advance the goal of Sir Frank to provide safe and reliable air transport to the islands and peoples of the eastern Caribbean.

Shareholder Prime Ministers Dr. the Hon. Ralph Gonsalves of St. Vincent and the Grenadines; Dr. the Hon. Baldwin Spencer of Antigua and Barbuda and the Hon. Freundel Stuart of Barbados in a joint statement noted that from such humble beginnings, today’s LIAT now represents the primary mover of people within the Caribbean region

Sir Frank Henry Sapenne Delisle, was born on the island of St. Kitts on the 5th Dec 1918, the Son of Harry Delisle and May (Stephens) Delisle. Frank received his early education in Halifax, Canada then went to neighbouring Anguilla as a young man to work in the Agriculture Department.

Frank Delisle, got the aviation bug after some unofficial trips on US Marine Corps anti-submarine patrols from Anguilla during the Second World War.

He then migrated to Montserrat where he was employed with the Montserrat Company Ltd. as a manager of a fruit plantation in Montserrat, he took time out to take flying lessons and began flying a two-seat Aeronca from Montserrat in the early 1950s. It was there that his love and interest in aviation developed.

A former airline captain, Frank S. Delisle, is one of the most engaging and resourceful characters one could wish to meet on one's Caribbean.

Sir Frank played a tremendous role in bringing aviation to the Caribbean region.

Sir Frank DeLisle was the founder of the Leeward Islands Air Transport (better known Caribbean-wide as LIAT), the oldest airline in the sub-Caribbean region.

With a vision of transforming air transportation in the region, Delisle started the Leeward Islands Air Transport Service Ltd. on 20 October 1956, on the island of Montserrat the year of the opening of Blackburne Airport.

This was preceded by operating from small landing strip he built on his plantation in Olveston in 1953. The strip was only 800 ft long and had a six degree incline. All take-offs were down hill and often down wind. Landings were made against the incline.

In those days LIAT was a privately owned one-man operation with a fleet of one aircraft and a non-scheduled service between Montserrat and Antigua a sector distance of just 35-miles, blue water passage, using a Twin engine Piper Apache. His available payload was just three passengers and/or some freight which could amount to little more than an arm full of parcels.

Nevertheless the service was popular among the islanders and the next year, the airlines schedule was widened to include St. Kitts, St. Eustatius, and St. Marteen.

Soon the Apache was reinforced with a twin engine Beechcraft Bonanza that could carry six passengers.

Gradually each island in the chain carved out miniature airports so that they can become aerially linked.

LIAT was incorporated in the Colony of Antigua, British West Indies, in 1956. At the time of its incorporation, its immediate purpose was to was to conduct a local inter-island operation with small aircraft within the British Caribbean area.

With the support of the late V.C. Bird, former Prime Minister of Antigua and Barbuda, DeLisle’s vision grew and LIAT moved its headquarters from Montserrat to Antigua and their Hanger, a 60ft x 60ft structure, was erected to accommodate the Herons. Alongside the first Hanger was the fuselage of another Heron which was modified to become an office of the accounting department.

The airline continued to grow and develop with the co-operation of other regional leaders.

In 1957 shortly after its incorporation, control of LIAT through purchase of 75% of its issued and outstanding stock was acquired by British West Indian Airways (BWIA). LIAT became a subsidiary of BWIA.

It was considered that control of LIAT by BWIA would be mutually advantageous in that BWIA would participate through LIAT in providing local inter-island service with small aircraft and that LIAT would receive financial and other assistance in the conduct and expansion of its local service operations.

LIAT maintained a home base at Coolidge Airport Antigua, equipped for routine maintenance and for training of personnel, its fleet consisted of four six passenger Twin Bonanza aircraft recently augmented by two 48 passenger AVRO-748 aircraft, there were over 90 employees, including 14 pilots; its capital structure consisted of 1,500 common shares of $100 par value, of which 805 shares were issued and outstanding of which 75% of such outstanding shares were owned by BWIA; not withstanding the a measure of autonomy LIAT was financially and administratively dependant on an integrated with BWIA.

By 1960 LIAT had six aircraft four Bonanzas, a pair of de Havilland Herons and was flying as far as Trinidad.

By now the airline was flying scheduled services in a 1,400 mile arc in one direction to Puerto Rico(via St. Thomas) and to Trinidad via Guadeloupe, Dominica, Barbados and St. Vincent in the other.

In 1965 Delisle obtained his first turbo prop, an Avro 748, registered VP-LIK, and a second one a year later in 1966 due to the airline's decision to phase out the Herons, the Airlines Headquarters moving to Coolidge Airport to allow the Avro 748 to be operated.

In 1968, LIAT was operating some flights via an agreement with Eastern Air Lines to provide passenger feed at this U.S. based air carrier's hub located in San Juan, Puerto Rico and was flying "Eastern Partner" service between San Juan and Antigua, St. Kitts and St. Maarten

For the first time LIAT operated two 19 seat Twin Otters, which were replaced by 1970 by five Britten Norman Islanders.

Every winter from 1967 onwards, LIAT leased a single 748 from Autair and later from Court.

In October 1971 Court Line acquired a 75% interest in LIAT from British West Indian Airways, BWIA the National Airline of Trinidad & Tobago and the remaining 25% on the 1st October 1972 for the total cost of £790,000, at that time LIAT’s liabilities exceeded the book value of tangable assets by £1,461,000 so the total cost of LIAT’s goodwill was £2,251,000.

LIAT consistently made losses up to the time of the takeover. The purchase agreement required BWIA to convert US$ 2,500,000current account with LIAT into a long term loan.

In 1972 (Sir) Frank Delisle founded Carib Aviation with a single twin-prop aircraft.

Carib Aviation provided charter and scheduled flights throughout the Caribbean from its main base in Antigua.

At its peak the company employed 63 personnel, including some 15 pilots and 22 engineering staff.

The office facilities were at VC Bird International Airport, accommodating administration, accounts, operations and traffic departments.

An additional terminal office facility was located at Robert L. Bradshaw International Airport in Saint Kitts and Nevis. Carib Aviation also operated the DOMINICA AIR TAXI service between Antigua, Saint Lucia and Canefield Airport as well as a local feeder for LIAT.

On Tuesday 30 September 2008, Bruce Kaufman, new owner and CEO of the airline, announced that he was forced to cancel all flights the very same day because of no flight crews available.

He accused LIAT to have hired 7 of his Twin Otter pilots within a few days, breaking an agreement between the two airlines signed earlier in 2008 and leaving him with no choice to stop all operations.

Sir Frank DeLisle also founded Radio Montserrat, the first radio station in the sub-region, which is still operational today.

Frank Sapenne Delisle died at age 83 on Friday, November 1st, 2002.

It was the same day that he was honoured with a knighthood for his outstanding contribution to the aviation industry in Antigua and Barbuda and the Caribbean as a whole.

Frank is buried in St John's Public Cemetery, Antigua and Barbuda.

[indihome-suck]

Pas gue dah punya PC fungsional sama download blender habislah dunia.

[rubahlicik]

Dugaan Penipuan berkedok Sedekah di Tumblr

Aink masih tetep bakal bilang dugaan karena belum bisa ketemu langsung dengan ybs. Sore tadi aink di wa sama @jagungrebus yang ngajak bergosip soal akun rumahati yang terindikasi penipuan.

Aink ga kaget, emang Uda mikir dari dulu kalo rumahati (sebut aja uni) emang mencurigakan. Yang bikin kaget, pas aink buka tumblr buat catch up sama beritanya, ternyata orang baik di Tumblr banyak banget,..

Mungkin tulisan aink ga bakal bantu banyak, tapi seenggaknya bisa ngasi tambahan gambaran soal uni.

Aink kenal uni jauh sebelum aink kenal sama istri. Dia salah satu customer tanaman hias aink. Aink inget dia order via pm Tumblr. Dulu nama akunnya birunii. Cukup terkenal di kalangan pembaca yang suka cerita berhikmah dan agamis.

Waktu itu dia masi S2 di UNPAD, ngekos di daerah sekejati. Aink cod tanaman sama dia disana. Setelah beli, aink emang selalu ngasi konsultasi free buat customer. Jadi komunikasi tetep terjalin via wa selama beberapa waktu.

Aink baru denger kabar dia lagi sekitar tahun 2019, istri lagi hamil anak kedua. Dia order paket tanaman lagi via Tumblr. Tapi dari akun rumahati.

Awalnya aink ga ngeh dia uni. Tapi pas trf, liat nama penerima paketnya kok kayak kenal. Pas aink kroscek ternyata bener uni.

Selain dapet orderan, aink juga dapet kontak lagi sama kawan lama. Aink seneng dong.

Dari sana aink mulai follow dan kenalan sama kontennya rumahati versi tahun 2019.

Sedih banget hidupnya. Buat yang ga kenal, aink kasi gambaran singkat.

Uni setelah nikah jadi ibu rumah tangga anak 2. Selain itu, suami dan mertuanya 'somehow' menanggung beban hidup orang di sekitarnya.

Aink ga paham juga gimana ceritanya Ampe keluarga suami uni harus kerja keras menutupi kebutuhan anak yatim, janda dan orang2 susah di sekitar mereka.

Pokoknya sedih tidak berujung lah, Ampe aink mikir kok dia hidupnya gini bangeett.

Tapi karena yang nyerita ini kawan lama, aink ga mikir kesana. Malah jadi pengen bantu. Waktu itu aink sama makarima nai sepakat bantuin rumahati biar beban hidupnya ga berat berat amat.

Jadi kami bertiga mau bikin writing project gitu buat dibukukan. Nanti hasil penjualan di sedekahin ke rumahati.

Sekali lagi, buat yang ga tau rumahati. Postingannya selalu sedih. Ada aja si anu kecelakaaan, si anu ga bisa sekolah, si anu ga kebeli susu... Yang kalo aink pikir sebetulnya itu bukan masalah dia, tapi dia usahain biar bisa kebantu secara finansial.

Caranya ini yang aink ga suka, dia ngemis di Tumblr.

Kalo opdon, dia cukup bikin postingan di Tumblrnya sama minta tolong direblog. Itu Uda paling banter kalo kata aink. Tapi uni beda, dia Ampe ngepm orang orang yg ga dikenal buat nawarin sedekah.

Dan yang pernah sedekah bakal difollow up terus untuk sedekah selanjutnya.

Aink ga suka, makanya aink pengen dia berhenti ngemis. Aink nyaranin dia jadi konten kreator, atau jual apa gitu. Tapi dia ga mau, bilangnya sehari2 aja pusing, apalagi masih harus ditambah pusing mikirin konten.

Hingga akhirnya aink sama nai berniat bantu dia lewat bikin writing project. Karya terbaik dibukuin dan dijual. Jadi ga perlu harus ngemis lagi kalo hasilnya bsgus.

Ini link postingan event yang mau dibikin waktu itu.

Tapi ga jadi, ..

Jadi sambil nunggu eventnya berjalan, aink inisiatif ngasih sebagian penjualan tanaman aink ke dia. Aink lupa nominal berapa, tapi Uda masuk.

Menjelang event dimulai, aink uni dan nai bikin grup wa untuk memantapkan teknis. Salah satunya soal teknis penyaluran sedekah dari penjualan.

Di awal obrolan project, uni setuju kalo ada dokumentasi penerimaan sedekah ke target penerima. Ya tujuannya biar transparan

Aink sebagai penyelenggara ga mau ada fitnah, pengen jelas aja uang dari mana, jumlah berapa, di salurin kemana. Biar ada pertanggungjawaban ke yang ngasih sedekah.

Uni setuju, awalnya..

Menjelang launching event, uni ngasih tau kalo suami dan mertua ga setuju ada dokumentasi. Alasannya menjaga Marwah penerima bantuan.

Aink sempet adu argumen waktu itu, yauda ga usah foto penerimanya. Foto barang sembako atau bukti sppnya aja.

Tapi ditolak. Ga sesuai prinsip dia katanya.

Event Uda mau dimulai, aink ga enak sama nai yg Uda gembor2in waktu itu. Masa iya ga jadi, kan ya.

Yauda, aink minta struk belanjanya aja deh yang difoto. Bust seragam kek, beras, susu atau aappun lah yang mau di salurkan.

Biar ada bukti nih si uang sedekah jadi apa.

Waktu itu Uni setuju

Tapi beberapa hari kemudian dia tarik lagi. Dia bilang ga bisa.

Kalo pun aink sama nai mundur, gapapa yang sedekah ke dia mah buat yang mau mau aja.

Kesal? Ojelas. Tapi aink tetep ga mau suudzon,. Mungkin cara hidupnya kayak gitu, nyusahin diri sendiri dan banyak orang lain yang ga kenal dia demi orang orang susah yang harusnya bukan tanggung jawab dia.

Maksud aink, kemana RT RW? Kamana bantuan sosial? Yang lebih mampu dan wajib membantu kan bukan dia. Aink sempet mikir dia Hero syndrom

Tapi ada yang bikin aink makin curiga.

Salah satu target bantuan waktu itu adalah bayi yang ditinggal bapaknya, ga kebeli susu dan aneka kebutuhan lainnya.

Istri aink Hamil anak kedua, anak pertama usia sekitar setahunan. Jadi ada baju bayi yang masih layak pakai banget.

Tiap aink nawarin baju bekas yang layak, dia ga pernah mau. Pengen mentahnya aja.

Dia waktu itu rumahnya di Cisaranten kalo ga salah, mencil gitu. Mungkin mbak jagung lebih tau, tapi katanya dia atau suami suka jualan di Gasibu kalo Minggu.

Aink sempet beberpa kali pengen ketemu suaminya yang katanya jualan di Gasibu (bandung) tapi ga pernah bisa (entah ga mau). Kalo aink pengen sedekah berupa barang pun selalu ga diterima, minta mentahnya aja biar gampang.

Ketika event writing project dicancel, aink Uda curiga banget Ampe unfol Tumblrnya. Aink sama nai Ampe minta maaf ke folower yang Uda join karena projectnya batal, tapi uni tetep berikukuh sama prinsipnya dan playing victim (sekaligus Hero untuk orang orang susah yang mungkin saja fiktif).

Aink ga pernah ada niatan buat mencoreng nama uni dan akun rumahati waktu itu. Karena bisa saja aink salah, kecurigaan aink ga berdasar. Apalagi aink sempet meremehkan ketika uni bilang

"ada kok orang orang yang rutin sedekah ke saya tanpa pernah ketemu orang yang mereka bantu atau minta bukti penyaluran sedekah"

Serius, aink anggap uni omong kosong waktu itu. Cuma trik manipulasi biar aink tetep lanjut proyek bantu dia. Ternyata aink salah.

Pas sekarang baca tulisannya @paomungbeans aink jadi ikut ngerasa salah banget. Kalau aink waktu itu berani nanya ke beberapa pihak yang interaksi sama uni, mungkin ga akan banyak korban.

Tapi emang jalan takdirnya gini. Harus ada orang orang baik yang diambil sebagian hartanya lewat sedekah yang bisa jadi fiktif.

Semoga buat temen temen yang terlibat diberi keikhlasan dan diberi pahala sesuai dengan yang mereka niatkan.

P.s banyak orang baik di Tumblr, jodoh kalian juga mungkin orang sini. Tapi jangan lupa, orang jahat juga banyak. Ga ada salahnya curiga dan berhati hati

[lebensmoode]

Takut bgt liat topik soal cowo mokondo yg istrinya banting tulang cari nafkah + masih beberes rumah + masak + ngurus anak + bahkan sampe dikasarin???

Semoga wanita-wanita tumblr ku dijauhkan dari lelaki yang biadab kaya gitu. Semoga didekatkan dengan pria yg SADAR akan tanggung jawabnya menafkahi (meski mungkin gajinya tidak sebesar sang istri at least dia ada dan mau kerja) + PUNYA rasa malu kalo hidup nganggur di bawah ketek orang lain which is istrinya sendiri.

[milaalkhansah]

Atas apa yang terjadi di dunia dan ramai diperbincangkan di segala media sosial saat ini, aku bersyukur masih ada tumblr. Sebuah platform di mana aku hanya perlu datang, menumpahkan segala keluh kesah dan juga buah pikiran. Atau hanya datang untuk membaca beberapa postingan teman tumblr yang seringnya berisi pengalaman, pelajaran penuh hikmah dan juga keluh kesah yang mereka bagi. Tanpa perlu repot ikut menghakimi ataupun mengomentari apa yang sedang terjadi.

Kalau kelak nanti kalian udah gak lagi liat aku masih ada di media sosial lain, cari saja aku di sini ya.

Karena sebagai rumah, aku akan selalu menetap lama.

[dinisuciyanti]

Organik

Ga sengaja membangun akun tumblr ini sampai sebesar sekarang, ya gak besar-besar banget sih wkwk, ditengah gempuran akun-akun cheesy jatuh cinta menunggu jodoh melangit malam. Balesin question box yang masuk, walaupun gak banyak yang nanya, eh tapi kok makin sering yah... HAHAHA. Dari yang awalnya bisa nulis seenaknya, sampe "keknya harus di-filter deh" karna banyak yang baca.

Akun sebelah juga sama (instagram), dulu malah digembok, sekarang ya udah public. Udah gak pusing mau siapa yang liat stories atau follow, biarin ajah. Ehhh kok sepertinya engagement nya naik, padahal posting biasa aja. Bukan yang sengaja ngonten reels sering juga, males effort ngedit video, mending kerja yekaan, atau turu.

Dan semua itu organik. Go with the flow. Gak juga yang sok-sok-an jadi penasihat mentang-mentang udah 30. Elah, noh yang 40-50-60 lebih pantes wkwkwk. Tapi kalo ada yang minta pendapat, ya aku jawab sebisanya.

9 Mei 2024

[aledisini]

Growing from zero

Buat gue, "mulai dari 0" banget itu Juli 2023.

Pindah unit, to something that completely new for me. Something that I've never touched because I knew I had completely zero knowledge about that. Takut? Oh iya jelas. Bertubi-tubi ditambah gue waktu itu sendirian.

But I think I've managed to pass the hardest start.

After all, kita manusia, yang bertumbuh dari hari ke hari. Menjadi lebih baik dari hari kemarin, supaya tidak jadi orang yang merugi bukan?

My journey to push those boundaries tuh kayak jungkir balik dikocok-kocok. Tapi bikin gue sadar, for the very first time, gue merasa punya tim yang bisa diajak bicara dan diskusi. Gue tau kapabilitas dan pengetahuan gue itu ga sampe seujung kuku kemampuan mereka. But they willing to teach me, and tutor me wkwk. Ofc, bayangin aja gue liat kabel warna warni udah gatau itu apaan. Kabel weh pokona kan. Ini sama peer sama manager gua kalo gua diem bingung dijelasin, nama-nama nya dan terus buat apa. Kalo gue gatau tentang alat-alat kerja kantor gue yang super banyak itu, nanti tuh pas jalan makan siang bakal sengaja dilewatin buat nunjukin ke gue wujud nya kaya apa.

Being with them for the past year ngajarin gue, that it's okay not to know everything, there will always be time and opportunity to learn. They may not the perfect team that everyone had in mind, but those two are the best team I've ever had.

Walaupun ya gue tau, sekarang juga gue masih banyak gatau nya, masih banyak salah nya juga. At least I've tried, hehehe.

With this tumblr notes, I would like to thank myself first for surviving this far, and everyone who has accompanied me growing over the past year. Eak biar agak mellow sedikit kan.

Selamat menyambut hari esok, selamat menyeka khawatir, selamat menyembuhkan duka. Semoga selalu Allah iringi langkah kaki kita semua🤗

[yasmijn]

01

Udah lama ga nulis di Tumblr tapi di H-1 pemilu ini aku merasa perlu banget menulis dan menyatakan bahwa besok aku akan nyoblos 01. Anies-Muhaimin. Dan siapa tau tulisanku bisa meyakinkan kamu-kamu yang masih belum yakin mau coblos siapa tapi jelas gak mau golput. Dan please, for everyone's sake.... jangan coblos 02.

Alasan utama aku pilih 01 sih karena (1) Asal bukan Prabowo, dan (2) Gak mau coblos PDIP. Cuma ya kalau realistis dan gak gengsi untuk mengakui dan diri mau obyektif, Anies Baswedan memang adalah orang yang paling pantas untuk jadi presiden Indonesia di antara ketiga capres yang kita punya sekarang. Secara pendidikan, rekam jejaknya sedari bangku sekolah, kuliah, menjadi rektor termuda Indonesia, menggagas dan menjalankan Indonesia Mengajar, menjadi Mendikbud walau dicopot tak sampai 2 tahun menjabat, dan yang paling baru adalah Gubernur DKI Jakarta.

Karena dari awal aku memang condong ke Anies, ya otomatis aku memang lebih ingin mengkonsumsi dan mencari konten mengenai beliau. Awalnya tentu aja kemakan ribut-ribut kontroversi deklarasi Cak Imin yang tiba-tiba maju jadi cawapres Anies padahal (1) awalnya AHY digadang-gadang jadi cawapres beliau, dan (2) awalnya Cak Imin akan dipasangkan jadi cawapres Prabowo. Langsung deh dicap dobel oportunis - yang satu "mengkhianati" Demokrat, dan yang satu lihai oportunistik mengambil kesempatan menjadi cawapres di koalisi yang hampir runtuh karena gak sampai 20% presidential treshold.

Kalau mau denger Pak Anies address tuduhan satu ini, bisa tonton di video berikut:

Cuma asli deh kalau u emang serius pengen tahu kebenaran dan ingin mendengarkan untuk paham, kalau cari di Youtube semua penjelasan mengenai isu-isu Anies dan Muhaimin semuanya ada, kok. Dan semuanya bisa aku terima dengan akal sehat. Balik lagi, semua tergantung niat.

Banyak banget konten Bocor Alus Politik yang udah w konsumsi di sebulan terakhir haha.

Poin kedua yang bikin aku semakin bulat untuk coblos beliau adalah karena pendekatan kampanye-nya yang.... berbeda. Berbasis dialog, sungguh idealis, menyediakan ruang untuk siapapun, di berbagai kota dan berbagai setting, dengan berbagai partisipan yang dengan bersemangat menyampaikan masalah dan kegelisahan apa yang ingin mereka cari jalan keluarnya. Sebenarnya untuk bisa merasa cukup aman dan nyaman untuk angkat suara di sebuah forum sangat besar, itu juga adalah hal yang nggak semua pemimpin dan calon pemimpin bisa ciptakan.

Ada dua episode Desak Anies yang bikin w nangis selama nonton... yang pertama adalah tentang perempuan:

Dan tentang buruh dan ojol.....

Pas denger para audiens ngomong w rasanya sedih banget. Banyak banget ragam masalah yang dihadapi banyak lapisan masyarakat... masalah-masalah yang tak terbayang. Bahwa ada banyak yang masih belum mendapatkan keadilan dan kelayakan hidup seperti "mitra" ojol dan juga pekerja rumah tangga.

****

Cara pikir beliau runtut, punya kerangka pikir yang jelas, berbasis nilai, bisa menyampaikan semua ide dengan baik, jelas, sopan, dan memberikan ruang untuk berdialog. Sempet juga liat video dimana Pak Anies menjelaskan gimana akhirnya dia bisa meyakinkan pemilik lahan untuk menjual lahannya ke pemerintah melalui diskusi... gimana akhirnya dia bisa meyakinkan sebuah musholla untuk memberikan persetujuan pendirian gereja dengan berdiskusi juga... bagaimana cara pikir beliau sampai akhirnya beliau kembali memperbolehkan ojek untuk lewat Jl Thamrin. Dimana sebelumnya Ahok mensterilkan ruas jalan itu dari kendaraan roda dua.

Anies bilang bahwa Jakarta itu untuk semua orang, inilah demokrasi yang sebenarnya, dimana jalan termahal di republik ini bisa dinikmati oleh semua lapisan masyarakat, dari yang paling miskin sampai ke yang paling kaya sekalipun. W juga jadi mikir, bahwa ya pernah banget w mikir bahwa motor tuh ganggu di jalan, bikin macet - tapi w melupakan bahwa w dan mereka adalah sama-sama penduduk kota ini. Yang haknya seharusnya sama, tidak dibedakan. (Cuma ya tolong lah tetep tau aturan).

Untuk lengkapnya tonton deh di sini (bisa start di menit ke 40):

Fyi di tahun 2019 w nyoblos Prabowo. Waktu itu sih karena memang gak suka sama Jokowi sekaligus kasian sama Prabowo karena kok kayaknya pengen banget jadi presiden (kasih lah). Cuma ya di 2019 dan 2024 spirit w tetap sama: mencari perubahan.

Di tahun 2024 ini kita sangat beruntung bisa mendapatkan capres seperti Anies Baswedan, yang bikin anak-anak muda bisa lebih kritis dan berpartisipasi melalui dialog dan juga gerakan-gerakan sangat pop seperti kpopification dari fandomo Pak Anies di @aniesbubble dan juga menggerakkan volunteer untuk bikin event-event independent self-funded juga website yang keren banget seperti ini (harus dibuka di hp):

Inti dari intinya adalah.... w takut sih jujur menyambut pemilu esok hari.

****

Semoga Allah merahmati kita semua.

[gothicprep]

Re that post about online discourse infecting offline politics, I’ve said for ages that yourfaveisproblematic is probably the most influential tumblr blog of all time, and has had an absolutely absurd butterfly effect on broader 2010s/20s culture as a whole

good and bad news: you're completely correct

since we're talking about this: liat kaplan, the person behind the YFIP account, wrote an op-ed for the nyt in 2021 where they reflect on the whole experience.

there's something a bit unnerving about someone's idea churning on years after they've moved away from thinking like that.

[beazt]

ok I’ve put together a list of disability-focused books for me read while I have the Seattle library ebook card. I’m not sure what order I’m going to read them in, yet. and obviously this list is non exhaustive, it’s just what I could find & deem worth reading from a surface level glance at the blurbs right now, while I have a migraine. i fully intend to explore other topics and revisit other titles im unsure about/prioritizing lower, I have them tagged separately on Libby.

if anyone would like to join me on this journey— be it by reading/listening to the books yourself at your own pace or just following my own posts about what I read— I’m going to come up with a tag for this journey. suggestions for that are welcome, I just want it to be a near-unique tag because tumblr search is awful

(most of the titles I have selected for this list at least make a notable effort to be inclusive and intersectional, if you’re worried about that. however, I have not read any of these yet, I cannot confirm anything about their actual content. I guarantee there will be excerpts worth critique from books on this list. part of exploring these heavy social topics is critical thinking.)

my current list is as follows, in no particular order:

Fat Girls Hiking by Summer Michaud-Skug — I’m interested particularly in modifying hiking (and other outdoor activities) to be more accessible for myself, as I love hiking but find it very difficult nowadays, the book seems to be at least decently disability-informed

The Future Is Disabled by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha — disability justice for a better future that emphasizes the value of disabled folks. overall interested to see the perspectives and rhetoric presented in this book, along with:

Care Work by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha — I don’t think I can do this one justice in a couple lines of tumblr text. read its blurb yourself, it includes: “a toolkit for everyone who wants to build radically resilient, sustainable communities of liberation where no one is left behind.”

My Body Is Not A Prayer Request by Amy Kenny — appeals to my experience living as disabled and intersex in a rural part of the Bible Belt in an evangelical household

Disability Pride by Ben Mattlin — gonna be honest, I threw this one in without reading its blurb. regardless of its quality, I believe I should read it based off title

Crip Kinship by Shayda Kafai — this book is based around an art activism project called Sins Invalid, exploring some of the messaging of it in a disability justice framework

Against Technoableism by Ashley Shew — from what I can gather, this book touches a lot on the social model of disability

Decarcerating Disability by Liat Ben-Moshe — prison abolition and decarceration with a disability focus

QDA by Raymond Luczak — QDA stands for queer disability anthology, also threw this one in based on the title

[earanemith]

Promises Made

Here it is Chapter 1. Since it's very long for Tumblr please read on: Ao3

Chapter 1: Chaos

Chaos. Where the street had once been busy but peaceful that had all been over in a split second when chaos descended up it. Shouting, shooting. Liat had franticly looked around her, as she pulled her own gun out, for Ziva. Not being able to get a clear shot she kept looking for Ziva and for cover. It was then that she spotted Ziva. As if carried by the wind she crossed the street Liat seeing her push a girl out of the way for the worst of it. But being too late to safe herself.

The cars sped off leaving the chaos they started in their wake.

"Ziva!"

The moments it took Liat to reach where Ziva had landed seemed to stretch endlessly. When she finally reached the place her friend was the girl she had pushed out of the way had also reached her. Looking white as a sheet. When she got a closer look at Ziva she understood why. Ziva's body scarily still, blood slowly pooling out of her. Kneeling on the glass and debris scattered around them Liat felt for a pulse fearing the worst, but sighing with relief when she felt it. Calling 101 as fast as she could. Giving off all the relevant information as soon as someone picked up. Making sure to give her Mossad identification code and Ziva's. Knowing ambulances were most likely already on their way. Also knowing that if Ziva wasn't taken to the hospital quick that relief she had felt would turn into grief.

After informing Director David's secretary of everything that had happened over the phone Liat took her place in the waiting room of Sheba Medical Center.

After two hours of waiting finally a doctor showed. Normally she would not have gotten any information, being friends did not constitute the right relations to get medical information. Being the Mossad officer who called it in and saying she was there on behalf of Eli David Director of Mossad , did give her some pull however. After confirming she was there for Ziva and introducing himself as Ran Barzel MD the doctor quickly spoke to her.  

"Miss David's injuries were severe. More severe than we initially thought. She almost crashed when we got her in the operating room. After we stabilized her we could focus on the bleeding. It appeared she was hit by quite a bit of debris, maybe a stray bullet. We did however get that fixed and it will be okay. After, we continued our preliminary examination, I highly suspect Miss David having a vertebrae fracture form being hit by the car. Right now they are taking her to get her spinal cord x-rayed. I waited with this until after we could give her a blood transfusion and the first dose of antibiotics to give her body as much strength as we can. Once I get the x-ray results I'll be moving straight into the OR"

Liat silently, took it all in. The superficial wounds didn't worry her as much anymore. Both her and Ziva being in Mossad have had to both deal with their fair share of battle wounds and healing time. The X-ray had her worried, she had lost friends from having a broken spine and dying from internal bleeding. Forcing herself not to continue with that line of thinking she looked the doctor in the eye again.

"Doctor Barzel, what are her chances?" She needed to know, Ziva had to be okay.

"At this moment I cannot tell you that Miss Tuvia. All I can say at this moment is that Miss David's body has sustained a lot of trauma, how severe and what her chances at complete recovery will be I can only guess at." He looked Liat up and down. Seeing despite the strong front she put up that the young Mossad agent in front of him was worried. Maybe she was there for more reasons than just on behalf of the director of Mossad. "I take it you will be waiting?"

"Yes"

"Very well, I have to get back to the operating room. I'll have a nurse come get you after we are finished. "

With that the doctor returned to where he had come from and she sank back into the plastic chair she had occupied before. Closing her eyes and sending silent prayers up for Ziva to be okay. To come out of this and be fine.

It seemed like an eternity before she heard footsteps coming closer again. All the time spent waiting Liat hadn't dared to look at the clock. Fearing that if she saw the time pass the chances of Ziva getting out of this alright got smaller and smaller. Looking up she now saw a nurse before her. The nurse spoke kindly to her and took her through the halls of the hospital. They ended up in another wing and level. After opening the door for Liat and letting her in the nurse left. Already focused on the doctor before her Liat forgot to say any form of thanks or goodbye to the nurse.

Doctor Barzel immediately went on with explaining what they had done, knowing that the young woman before him was probably anxious enough as it was.

"After I got the x-rays of Miss David back I concluded that she has sustained severe trauma to her spinal cord. Namely to the lumbar region" He put up the x-ray to show Liat. "There is a fracture in her L3 vertebrae and possible contusion in L2, L1 and T12. There is also a lot of swelling from T11 down to L5. We have started treatment with corticosteroids to get the swelling down as fast as we can. Tomorrow we will take her for another x-ray and ct scan to see if the treatment it working. For now we have to wait"

"Isn't there anything ells to be done right now?" Liat asked the doctor.

"Not right now, with the swelling present it's too unpredictable what the fracture and contusions will do. If we try for more drastic interventions right now we could make things worse. If the swelling goes down enough we will then continue on with fitting Miss David into a brace to keep her spine well aligned for the healing process or if needed operate on her to make sure the vertebrae will heal well."

"Does this mean she will be paralyzed?" Almost afraid to ask but needing to know.

"Right now we can't make that determination. She came to us unconscious and until she is awake and coherent again we won't know, but yes, there is a chance she will be paralyzed." After a moment of silence "Come with me. I will take you to her"

Swiftly the two make it down the hall where the doctor stopped in front of an opened door. "I do have to warn you, we intubated Miss David and are keeping her sedated at the moment. Her body will need all the strength we can give it. That is why we also put her on another blood transfusion. Please be careful with touching her. Right now with the corticosteroids working we don't want her moved at all. The nurse will come and tell you when visiting hours are coming to an end."

Turning away from the room, facing the doctor she spoke "I won't be leaving. Director David gave orders to stay with his daughter."

Doctor Barzel doubted that Liat had spoken the truth. He had not thought about it while Miss David had been on the operating table but he did when he waited for the nurse to bring Miss Tuvia up. Looking through the medical file he had found out that the director of Mossad was his patients father. Eli David was known as a strict and strong man, ruthless when it came to his position. Ran having heard the stories from former patients working with the man and a family member in Mossad. He had his doubts if Miss Tuvia really had gotten orders to stay or just to get information. Sensing he would not be able to remove her from the room he gave her a short nod. "Very well. I'll let Miriam know to bring you some dinner. I will speak with you tomorrow."

With that doctor Barzel left and Liat was left in the doorway of Ziva's room. Hesitantly she put one foot in front of the other and walked in. The sight that greeted her send a flash of shock deep through Liat. Never before had she seen Ziva lay that still. Glad at having been warned about all the tubes coming from seemingly everywhere in Ziva's body. That paired with the scratches and dried up blood that were visible on her face and arms.

Pulling a chair closer to the bed and sitting down in it Liat lay her hand softly on Ziva's in the bed. Afraid to take Ziva's hand in her own of fear of moving her to much, at the same time needing to feel her friend beside her. Once again she closed her eyes.

Having already been woken by her internal alarm clock Liat only had to wait a handful of minutes before Nurse Miriam came in.

"Morning"

"Morning" Liat mumbled back. Capable of sleeping anywhere even a hospital chair did not mean she felt completely rested after the night that she had. After getting diner the night before, brought to her by the kind nurse who also replaced the  corticosteroids for a new batch, Liat called to Director David's secretary. Updating her that there was really no news, the night had to pass before they would know more. The secretary had assured Liat she would inform the director asked her to please keep her informed and being sure to tell her that she would pray for a swift recovery for Ziva. Having met her a handful of times in her years of serving as Eli David's secretary.

"I will be taking her to get the scans necessary. After can I bring you some breakfast?" "No thank you I will quickly go home and change. I will be back"

Sending a kind smile to the nurse she whispered her goodbye to Ziva before leaving.

Just in time to see Ziva being rolled in again Liat arrived back in the hospital room. With it came also doctor Barzel.

"Ah miss Tuvia, good to see you. I am happy to tell you that the corticosteroid treatment worked. The swelling in miss David's spine is almost completely down. The fracture of the L3 vertebrae didn't worsen and the contusion was only in L2 and slightly in L1 further than that I think we are in the clear. The corticosteroid treatment will continue the rest of the day to make sure the swelling can completely go down. doesn't come back. Tomorrow morning she will get a last round of scans to double check, after that specialist will come to fit her into a spinal brace to keep everything straight while healing, further surgery is not needed. For now we'll keep he stable with pillows and pads. "

A sigh of relief passed her lips. Good news, things had not gotten worse. They were looking up.

"Once the treatment has finished and she is in her brace we will also change the sedation to pain medicine to get her to wake up"

"Thank you doctor, for your care"

The doctor left again after jolting down a couple more things in Ziva's file.  Deciding to update Ziva's father after the treatment had ended and she was fitted for the brace Liat took out a book she'd brought for home and settled back in.

In the morning the scans had gone well. The swelling was comepletly gone and it was time for the specialist to fit the brace. As the specialist were moving and measuring Ziva everything went wrong. It seemed as if all hell broke loose. Suddenly an alarm went off on one of Ziva's many monitors. Nurses closely followed by doctor Barzel rushed into the room. They spoke quick with the specialist after which an order was given and Ziva was rolled out of the room.

Shocked she stood suddenly all alone in the room. How long she stood there motionless she could not say until Miriam entered the room.

"Please sit down" the nurse spoke kindly to Liat.

"No. You tell me right now what happened!" she demanded.

"Ziva's blood pressure and heart rate suddenly spiked after she was moved. That was the cause of the alarm. Doctor Barzel fears she started to bleed internally. And the jostling of the last few days with the scans caused it. He did not want to lose any time that is why she was rushed to the OR again. They are operation on her now. That is all I know for now."

That was it Liat's worse fears come true. Ziva was bleeding out, she was losing her closest friend. Ever since they were young Ziva had been her only real friend. Being there for her when her father got in one of his drunken states again and home was no longer safe. She always had a safe place with Ziva. They had grown up together, Liat by her side when Ziva lost her mother and her sister. Ziva by her side when finally, a day before she turned 18 and would go into the IDF, her mother snapped and killed her father for all of the abuse he had put on them for far too long. While they had drifted apart some, first by separate missions for weeks or months on end by Mossad, then Ziva's transfer to the American agency, there would always be a place in her heart for Ziva. Having thought they finally had a chance to reconnect and then having it snatched away was something Liat did not want to face.

It had barley been a week in his cramped room onboard the ship. Already it was driving him crazy. Even though the top deck was always busy and loud he made it a point from day one to breath in the sea air at least two times a day. If he did not at least see the sky a couple of times a day he would go crazy. Looking forward to two weeks from now, when they would dock for the first time. He chuckled to himself Ziva would defiantly have something to say about his restlessness. With every time his mind went to Ziva he got a little lost in thought. He had not yet heard anything from her. No email. While she told him contact would most likely be sparse, she had promised to contact him. Tony suspected there something being wrong with his email this far out at sea. He had mailed Abby, McGee, even director Vance to send his first report, but no responds so far.

He had already gone to the bridge and ask one of the techies to help him out. They all claiming no time. While his senior field agent status helped him along plenty of times within the walls of NCIS, on this ship he'd had no luck. A little annoyed he closed his laptop again to look at his notes next to him. The first incident had occurred since he'd been stationed there. Better keep his focus on that instead of the people he, for now, could not talk to.

Not until the sun was setting was Liat spoken to again. Miriam had taken her out of the room when the other nurses were situating Ziva again. Together with doctor Barzel another doctor stood next to him. Introducing herself as "Liana Raviv"

Doctor Barzel spoke first. "After Miriam updated you last there have been some changes. What I initially thought was an internal bleeding did not turn out to be one. We took some x-rays again when we could not find the cause of the distress. That is where doctor Raviv came in the picture"

Doctor Raviv took over. "We discovered that miss David also has a pelvic fracture. It was probably hiding as a hairline fracture that broke under the pressure of her being moved around the last two days. Because this hospital specializes in a lot there luckily wasn't any time lost. Pelvic fractures can be extremely unpredictable. I was able to fixate her pelvis with what we call an external fixator. Simply because there is not enough room inside. It will help keep the bone stabilized so they'll heal in the right place. Healing a pelvic fracture usually takes anywhere from 8 to 12 weeks. Once the bones have started to heal enough she is free to move and put weight on the fixator even before it is taken out again, that is what it's build for."

It was a lot of information to take in but doctor Raviv was not done yet. "That together with the spinal brace will inhibit her movements some at the start. But our first priority now is getting her started on healing not on mobility. I specialize in pelvic and spinal injuries that is why as of now I will be taken over the care for miss David from doctor Barzel. Come with me" She said as she led Liat into Ziva's room.

"I know it can be quite a shock to see a loved one with the external fixator. It looks more gruesome than it is. We keep the area uncovered to closely monitor for any infection."

It was then that Liat noticed something off and it was not the titanium frame protruding from her friends body. "Why is her heart rate off?"

With sorrow in her eyes doctor Raviv replied "All the trauma miss David has gone through has taken its toll on her body. While prepping to place the external fixator we could not get her heart rate and pain signals under control. We thought it best to induce a medical coma to take some stress of off her heart. Her body needs time to heal. If she were to wake now she would be in extreme amounts of pain. Pain for which no medication would truly help. This way we can take the worst of the healing process away from her. Bring her around when we see signs of it getting better. Miss David has a long road of recovery ahead of her"

"Ziva. She hates being called miss."

"Ziva has a long road to recovery ahead of her" Liana corrected herself. "I hope that in a weeks' time we can lighten the sedation we are using now. And in two weeks take her off of them completely to wake her up."

"But she can recover right?" Feeling as that little girl again scared and afraid asking Ziva if things would be okay if she got back home.

"We will help her recover as best as we can. A big part of it will be up to Ziva herself."

"Recover completely? Doctor Barzel said..."

"Yes, he told me you asked. While we cannot know for certain before Ziva wakes up there is a very high chance she will be paralyzed from the point of her injury down. How severe we have to wait and see."

Wanting to stay with Ziva right now was not an option, director David needed to be updated. And it could not be done through his secretary this needed to happen face to face. Everyone knew that the director did not go home until late in the evening so even though it was already dark Liat make her way through the hallways and in front of the director's office. His secretary had left for the day but there was still light coming from underneath the door. Taking a breath before knocking and entering when given permission.

"Officer Tuvia. Why are you here?" Eli asked her once she was inside and closed the door. He knew that she had been staying in the hospital where his last remaining daughter now lay. A hopefully minor setback. There were a lot of plans, missions that needed Ziva's attention.

"I come with news about Ziva sir." Was all she said in the form of an intro before explaining everything to Ziva's father that the doctors had told her. When she was finished he did not respond immediately. Slowly taking his reading glasses off.

"Very well then. Thank you for the update officer. That reminds me here." he looked around his desk and gave Liat a file when he found it. "I wanted to wait until tomorrow but since you are here now. These are your new orders. Your unit is send out on another mission tomorrow 6 o'clock"

"But sir what about Ziva?" it left her mouth before she could truly think to whom she was speaking.

"You best not be late" was all Eli replied with and with that dismissing her.

Knowing there was no arguing with her boss Liat left his office file underneath his arm. Orders were orders you had to follow them.

She went home and packed for her mission, reading over the file and preparing as best as she could. Very early, barley morning she dropped by the hospital.

"I am sorry Ziva. I have to go. You rest and heal, I will be back" with worry in her heart Liat left Ziva behind. Stopping at the nurses' station quickly to inform Miriam she would not be around for a while. Telling her where to contact if there were updates on Ziva's status.

"I will look out for her, don't you worry dear" was all Miriam said before Liat left.

Tagglist: @benedettabeby @happygirl-0408 @tivafanfic @loudlooks @hopeless-nostalgiac @mrsmungus

Also tagged a bunch of you still active in the NCIS fandom if you want me to take you off the list please let me know:

@and-he-will @kmpotter4140 @litningmyway @koogamy @oceangirl24 @danceswithdarkspawn @irish-trish @residentdormouse @munstysmind @lovelyme12m @tonysziva @artemisscabin @television-overload @tiva2023vibes @tivancis @ncisfanatics @tonyandzivauk @tonylovesziva @tony-love-ziva @tonyandzivamakestiva-blog @missbuckynat @zivaninja @smedegaard3105

[galleryyuhself]

Galleryyuhself - Yesterday brought the news that LIAT is no more. Here are some images from over the years.

[r26yz]

Halo kak :D! omg aku kaget pas tau kaka indo, i really love your Akutagawa fanart. Jarang liat Akutagawa di gambar se-soft itu, ketagihan banget liatnya sampe ngescroll down tag bsd di tumblr kaka <3

heheh makaci ya :D🙏

im glad you enjoy my drawings, kalau kalian senang aku juga ikut senang😄🩷

(wkwkwk jd malu)

[rubahlicik]

Video Klarifikasi Uni-rumahati

Video permintaan maaf Uni-rumahati uda aink pegang. Buat yang ngerasa pengen liat dan butuh boleh pm. Tapi sertakan salah satu bukti trf kalian ke uni. Biar Aink tau kalian bener terlibat, bukan kaum fomo yang cuma sekedar kepo.

Sengaja ga aink post langsung biar ga ada komen hate speech atau beragam komentar yang bikin postingan ini viral di luar keperluannya. There's so much hate already

Cukup yang tau tau aja. Kasus ini tuh uda jadi catatan merah buat para user Tumblr, jadi jangan ampe dipake jadi konten fyp di platform lain. Malu dikit lah, takutnya nama Tumblr jadi kebawa jelek.

Tutupin aja kasusnya, toh uda clear. Perihal tanggungjawab bisa langsung deal sama ybs. Ga usah caper di platform lain

Alamat sama no hp suami ybs juga uda ada. Kalo mau berkomunikasi lebih lanjut silahkan, bisa aink bantu.

Buat yang masih ga percaya kalo kasus ini murni kasus penipuan silahkan datengin rumah uni nya langsung🤣🤣

Silahkan berbagi kabar sama temen temen korban lain yang belum tahu

[vanilachocolate]

Kapan Nikah?

Sejak udah lulus S2, pertanyaan yang sering dilontarin orang adalah kapan nikah? kerja dimana? aah, kamu lulusan s2 sih, mana ada yang berani ngegaji kamu.

(kok ngetiknya menahan tangis ya? hmm mari dilanjutkan, mungkin hal ini yang ditahan terus jadi bikin ngga mood hidup)

Aku mulai menyadari setiap kali ditanya kapan nikah? respon ku ngga biasa aja. Bukan yang beneran sebel dan cape tapi aku sedih, takut bahkan pernah nangis banjir air mata cuma karena ditanya kapan nikah? kapan akad?

Sejak 2020 kemarin kan aku tuh ngerasa hidupku tuh belum tenang. Belum calm diwaktu yang lama. Bener-bener kaya berasa uber-uberan. Termasuk uber-uberan sama keinginan diri sendiri buat mati aja.

Ditinggal ka djo yang akhirnya nganterin aku ngalamin yang namanya liat bayangan gede banget item depan kamar berhari-hari, dengerin yang teriak-teriak di telinga, takut denger tetangga marah sambil ngepukul-pukul jemuran, nangis sepanjang hari, ngga minat makan dan hilang 10 kg dalam waktu sebulan.

Disaat makin ngga karuan kaya gitu, waktu aku nyari pertolongan sama teman-teman banyak yang responnya ternyata semakin menyakitkan. Termasuk ah elah baru ditinggal pacar, belum ditinggal orang tua juga. Walau emang masih ada yang peduli juga. Bahkan Sholeh - temen kuliahku dulu - sampe bilang chin marahnya jangan ditahan, kalau mau berkata-kata kasar juga ngga papa, kirim ke sholeh aja, atau kalau mau pake vn juga gpp. Manusia paling religius di kelas Hidrogen.

Senangnya, temen-temen tumblr malah buka tangan dengan lapang. Ada yang bahkan ngasih no hp langsung biar aku bisa telpon. Dan salah satunya mas. Manusia yang mau-maunya jemput dari bintaro ke jatiuwung biar aku main di trotoar jakarta. Malam-malam. Pulang pergi.

Dari hari itu, dan voila! Jadi pacar. Ngga tau sejak kapan. Ngga ada yang nembak juga. Jadi manusia yang selalu jawab pertanyaan aku kenapa ya ka djo ninggalin aku gitu aja? salah aku apa? Jadi manusia yang mau-mauan belajar membran polimer elektrolit, biar aku bisa gampang ngerti paper. Yang mana, aku ngga terbiasa baca paper full bahasa inggris. Manusia terlalu baik.

Sampe akhirnya aku berkali-kali minta maaf sama mas karena aku belum selesai sama diri sendiri. Belum selesai sama masa lalu. Dan jawaban dia selalu nggak papa, moveon bukan berarti lupa. kamu sama dia pernah lama bersama jadi ya ngga bisa lupa gitu aja. aku ngga masalah, ...

Baik banget ya?

Agustus 2023 kemarin aku wisuda. Dan abis itu, pertanyaan itu terus-terusan dikasih ke aku sama orang lain. Bahkan temenku tadi, yang aku cuma nanya biaya dia ngerenov dapurnya tuh berapa. Kenapa kok langsung ditanya jadi kapan nikah?

Apakah pertanyaan kaya gitu harus selalu berurusan dg menikah? Ngga aku jawab dmnya. Tapi akhirnya jadi takut sendiri.

Dari 2020 kemarin juga aku harus ke psikiater, psikolog. Antara hidup dan mati sambil ngelarin S2, terus pas udah lulus juga masih kok buat terus berhadapan sama hidup dan mati. Dan alasan inilah yang mungkin bikin aku selalu takut dan khawatir setiap kali ditanya kapan nikah? jadi akadnya kapan?

Kaya selalu bertanya sampe ya ke hari itu? hidup ngga ya sampe ke hari itu? sehat ngga ya? setres ngga ya? apakah orang cuma mikirnya nikah tuh enak? iya mungkin enak. Aku jga mungkin enak enak aja. Apalagi kalau nikahnya sama mas. Manusia yang udah dilabelin mas mas ijo royo-royo sama adik-adik s1 aku di solo. Saking seijo itu. Tapi, apa aku tuh bisa ngeimbangin dia yang seijo itu dengan kondisi aku yang kaya gini? Keluarga aku yang kaya gini? aku musibah bukan ya buat dia? kalau nikah dia bakal sama aku terus, nanti dia makin pusing ngga ya? soalnya dia juga suka pusing kok pas kita ldr, apalagi denger aku yang mungkin lagi ngga baik-baik aja. aku aja kadang masih mikir kok kalau misal suatu hari nanti aku depanan sama ka djo aku bakal gimana? itu berarti aku belum selesai kan sama masa lalu, apa itu bakalan ngebebanin mas? aku juga kadang masih down banget kondisinya, aku juga masih minum obat juga,aku juga ngerasa belum selesai sama diri sendiri, apakah itu ngga papa buat mas nantinya? ya dia emang sabar, sabar banget, logikanya jalan banget lah, tapi apa aku bisa seimbang ya sama dia yang sebaik itu jadi manusia?

(Ngetiknya sambil menangis tapi buru-buru dilap karena lagi di warung huuhu, takut yang teraweh balik juga)

Banyaak banget kekhawatiran yang timbul cuma karena perkara ditanya kapan? Yang jadinya tuh nyeseg gitu lho, dan ya jadi tidak mood dan kadang sampe nangis ngegeru-geru air matanya banjir.

Pernah ada yang bilang sama aku kalau masmu tuh deserve better lho chin, jahat kamu kalau masih terusik sama masa lalu tapi udah pacaran sama orang lain sebaik itu.

Lha terus aku ngga deserve better apa? Aku juga sering nanya kok ke diri sendiri, apa sih sebenernernya mas buat kamu tuh? Jawabannya yaa everything. Singkatnya itu. Tapi apakah ngga boleh tetep berusaha survive karena emang salah satunya aku ngga mau bikin mas tuh sedih kalau aku tau-tau mati gitu aja, sambil ya berusaha merelakan yang sudah terjadi dan berusaha lebih baik lagi sekarang buat jalanin hidup? Apa bener-bener harus putih bersih dulu?

Mungkin belum usai, tapi sekarang aku udah ngga sesakit dulu kalau bahas ka djo. Aku udah mulai bisa berusaha nahan diri buat ngga reaktif di rumah. Karena apa? Karena ngga mau menyusahkan mas, bikin mas tuh sedih setiap kali denger aku nangis segitunya ditelpon karena aku tuh sakit hati, ngerasa terluka dll.

Kaya ngerasa kok hidupku buru-buru amat? apa harus buru-buru? apa ngga boleh napas dulu? apa harus kapan dan kapan terus?

(Semakin dituliskan semakin nyeseg ya rob)

Jadi kapan nikah? Tungguin aja ya. Sambil doain, biar dua anak manusia ini bener-bener masih sehat dua duanya, waras jiwa raganya, duitnya juga ada aja, dan gimanapun caranya dan ceritanya tetep saling sayang sama dukung satu-sama lain, dan banyak hal baik lainnya. Jadi mungkin, biar aku ngga perlu lagi punya ke khawatiran yang cukup banyak dan sakit rasanya setiap kali ditanya hal serupa dan mungkin pertanyaan lanjutan lainnya.

(Kaya berasa masih banyak banget, tapi udah ngga sanggup)

[babblingpipit]

Placenta

Memanglahh tumblr ini adalah tempatnya sambat dan bersedih hati. Padahal weekend seru banget hosting 17an terus minggunya ngedate ke city sama Adit tapi ga tergerak buat posting di tumblr, cuma muncul keinginan nulis kalo lagi sedih dan stress aja.

Baiklah sebagai preambule, di kerjaan tuh ku sedang agak-agak confuse sama supervisor (pertanda red flag ga tuh). Kenapa? Karena draft paperku dari April belum dia baca samsek. Di php mulu, cenah akan dibaca di keretalah, di pesawatlah, apalah. Aku tuh ga masalah dan ga ada kepentingan harus buru-buru publish juga gitu sih, tapi inginnya kalo janji ya ditepatilah ya, kalo emang ga bisa ya bilang aja gabisa bulan ini gitu. Sampailah kita janjian tanggal buat doi ngasih feedback gitu, yaitu 15 Agustus. Aku ingetin h-7, terus hari-H aku ingetin juga dia minta tambahan 2-3 hari. Yaudah kan jadi 18 Agustus ya. Terus aku harusnya meeting sama beliau 17 Agustus, ternyata double booked dan dia minta diundur sampe dia kelar baca papernya. 18 Agustus udah lewat sampe sekarang tanggal 21 juga belum dapet feedback.

Si temen seruangan aku juga bareng tuh nungguin feedback kemarin-kemarin, tapi yang punya dia udah dibalikin dengan revisi minimmm banget grammar doang yang agak bikin bingung jg ni orang sebenarnya baca ga sih apa cuma skimming aja. Yaudahlah intinya mungkin ini kesimpen di memori bawah sadarku sampe kelar weekend semalem mimpinya adalah dapet feedback paper dan si temen sekantorku juga dapet feedback tambahan!

Mari kita lanjut ke inti ceritanya. Sebenarnya, penyebab utama keteganganku adalah hari ini ada appointment sama obgyn jam 8.30. Gile bener degdegannya belum apa-apa udah mau nangis aja. Rencananya pengen promil lagi secepatnyaa huhu tapi takut dan penuh anxiety. Udah kontak PCP (primary care provider, dokter umum), udah cerita, direfer ke obgyn dan hari ini ketemu.

Yang membuat shock dan lemes adalah, pas baca medical chart aku sebelumnya dia tanya-tanya kan dulu prosedurnya gmn, ada hasil ultrasoundnya ga gitu-gitu. Aku bawa tuh semua lengkap. Dan dia jelasin "oh ini aku duga ada masalah di placenta ya, soalnya si baby pas trimester 3 lingkar perutnya kecil, 12% dari populasi. Plasenta adalah sumber oksigen dan nutrisi bayi pas di dalem perut. Pas semester tiga ketika organ-organ bayi udah lengkap, aliran darah dari plasenta akan dipake untuk menyokong fungsi organnya dan untuk menggendut. Nah ini lingkar kepala dan lain-lainnya normal, tapi lingkar perutnya kecil. Sepertinya karena plasentanya menurun efisiensinya jadi tubuh bayinya lebih mengutamakan aliran darah ke otak, jantung, dan organ-organ penting lainnya, jadilah dia ga menggendut".

DHUAR

Jujur selama di Canberra tiap tanya kenapa tuh gapernah ada resolusi dan jawaban yang jelas. Selama sebelum meninggal, semuanya bilang baik-baik aja, liat ukuran lingkar perut segitu dibilang karena mamanya petite jadi mungkin bayinya juga kecil. Di USG sih tapi gapernah ada concern gitu loh. KENAPA. Bahkan sampe meninggal pun ga pernah ada keluar penjelasan (bahkan meskipun suspect aja).

Terus w lemes. Masuk akal banget bisa jadi plasentanya efisiensinya menurun sampe akhirnya stop ngalirin oksigen huhu yaAllah ga kebayang Salma suffocated didalem perut :(((((((((((((

Obgynnya bilang emang tapi 12% itu borderline sih, untuk bisa ambil tindakan early induction itu biasanya kalo dibawah 10%, jadi bisa dibilang 12% itu masih normal, cuma mungkin harusnya dimonitor lebih! Tapi ya it does not matter at this point juga sih. Kedepannya kalo hamil lagi akan dimonitor lebih bismillah semoga ga kejadian lagi.

Balik kantor ini jujur masih shock dan lemes karena baru pertama kali dapet penjelasan medis > 1 tahun setelah kejadian meninggalnya Salma. Aku pikir ga mungkin ga sih dokter-dokter di Canberra ga tau atau ga punya suspek mengingat dokter sini bahkan cuma ngeliat rekam medis aja udah punya tebakan. Apa waktu itu ga disampein karena takut disalah-salahin? Selama ini cuma mikir "it is what it is" gitu loh huhu sedih banget, sampe nyalah-nyalahin diri sendiri karena kurang at tune sama gerakannya Salma. Mungkin kalo aku udah ngerasa kurang gerakan lebih awal masih bisa diselamatkan, etc etc. Ah udahlah sedih banget ane mau pulang aja makan cake yang banyak.

Jujur ku nangis di ruangan dokternya dan sampe sekarang juga masih belum lega. Udah bikin plan dan program sih untuk future pregnacy, bismillah semoga sehat-sehat dan dikasih rejeki berupa anak yang sehat oleh Allah swt.

Pas jalan pulang terbersit pikiran, ini dokternya nanganin kasus aku kan harus bikin team sama obstetrician yg spesialis risky pregnancies gitu juga ya, belum harus ngehandle emosi ibu-ibu yang sedang grieving ini. Nyesel ga ya dia ngambil aku sebagai pasien. Ga sanggup banget deh aku kayanya jadi dokter kalo nemu kasus yang agak rumit kek gini. Huhu :(

Nyampe kantor aku udah ga peduli lagi sama si paper yang bikin stress sampe masuk mimpi. Langsung mengemail bu Boss dan asistennya untuk menagih dan bikin janji meeting lagi.