#tumblr will never die as long as im still alive

[arcane-ally]

◇ ABOUT ME ◇

K let's make this quick 🫰

25

Not selling content, Not about to send you free nudes, Not single (just enjoy the ass that you do get to see - don't be greedy)

I will block you if you send me nudes/sexual messages in the dms 🕸

Minors DNI 🚫

Occasionally posts NSFW content (mine and others)

Practicing Pagan/Spiritualist, but that's not my identity & I post other shit

No Bigots Allowed ✖️

🍃🌬👍

Lover of the occult & other weird stuffs

Straight but I appreciate all sexualities (so don't be surprised if I reblog LGBTQIA+ content)

Just here for personal expression & making friends 🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟

I hope you enjoy my blog as much as I do, and don't be afraid to chat me up in the dms! Much love to all the people still lurking this hellscape of a website 💜

Oh yeah, and if you want to navigate my tags : #🥴 is for me/my content

#answered is for any asks

#text post is for my written posts

Anything else is just chaos 💫

[yamikawas]

hey. ⚡️Yoomtah has been busy. Even though my circuits can run dry you’re the only thing on my mind. Your life sustains me, darling. And I can tire myself out and recharge in your arms. Zzt! I have all of you to myself already. So tonight I’ll rest in your arms. 🌸

AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOOMIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ;///; PLS COME RECHARGE IN MY ARMS AS MUCH AS U WANT I'LL HUG U SO TIGHT AND KISS U ON UR HEAD I LOVE U SO MUCH CMERE<3<3<3MAKING GRABBY HANDS AT U RN I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I L O V E Y O U

[intrinsicepiphany]

Okay tumblr lets talk theories again.

(my brain rot + knowledge of religion has me all up in Hazbin Hotel right now.)

Today I want to talk Biology! Mostly because I made the poor choice of going to Twitter's chaggie tag and looking at the comments...

So can we discuss Why do so many people keep trying to apply HUMAN biology to the Half-Demon Nephillim daughter of an Arch-Angel?!

Okay I'll start at the begining and work my way to the reasons why if Charlie really wants a kid with Vaggie both of them being assigned female at creation probably isn't going to matter.

Let's start with Lucifer!

So as far as has been shown in the show Lucifer is an original Archangel even down to his lovely 6 red wings. This makes him one of the most powerful beings in heaven.

(If we go by bible text he was actually a favorite until his dreams of free will led him astray and depending on the text he merely has to admit he was wrong and ask for forgiveness to return)

Now looking at everything after this fall he has never lost his Angelic Abilities. His default powers are still angelic gold.

We do see he also has a Full Demon form when he is pissed. Interestingly enough his crown also doubles as a halo in this form. Also note for later just how much Charlie resembles him in both forms.

This suggest that at root biology Lucifer is still an archangel with demon traits. This combination is most likely what makes him the strongest being in hell by a long shot. The only reason others even have power is purely because he doesnt care enough to flex his power and has no desire to actually rule.

Now on to Lilith!

What do we know about Lilith?

Well we know she was a created human not born.

She was Adam's equal

And she left and got with Lucifer before the fall.

So here is the deal... I dont think Lilith can be classified as a sinner. She didnt die to end up in hell and in fact she fell before hell was really a thing. she helped create it after all. (Plus you know Charlie exsists)

So what IS Lilith? I think Lilith as one of a few Actual Demons. And if we have to classify her she'd be closer to a Sin. I actually think of Lilith as the Sin of Pride in Hazbin Hotel not Lucifer. We are even told that She created pentagram city and developed hell while lucifer kept to his workshop in depression.

Now let's talk about this scene for a second. Lilith fell from heaven/earth Alive and possibly even immortal since human kind was immortal before Eve took the apple.

Lilith gains power from her fall into hell. She develops demon like attributes and seems to have musical based magic. She also seems to retain or get immortality. So what does this fall mean? It means that Lilith was NOT HUMAN by the time Charlie was born.

So what does this mean for Charlie?

Well for one Charlie is NOT just some Hellborn. She is by Definition a Nephilim but she is not half-human. She would most likely be considered a Half-Demon, Half-Angel Nephilim.

This would explain her expansive (if never used) power base. The official power ranking has her tied with Lilith with only Lucifer being more powerful. Which makes complete sense. She is the Heir to the entire thing after all. (I actually think this is why Alastor couldnt make a deal for her soul and settled for a favor instead)

She also inheirited Angelic powers from her father. As seen by the fact that her default magic is gold. Which means she has angel blood in her veins. Lets be honest i wouldnt be surprised if she ended up bleeding gold in the future.

In fact she seems to have inherited most of her abilities from dear old dad.

Im pretty sure that just by shear ability and magic if Charlie wanted a kid she could probably create/magic one into exsistance no matter who her partner was.

But lets review Vaggie just for fun! Because I have thoughts

What do we actually know about Vaggie?

Well we know she is an angel. I say is because I dont think Lute or Adam actually have the power to cast an angel out of heaven AND she gets her wings back. This would mean she is not actually a sinner she would be closer to a fallen angel like lucifer.

We know she speaks Spanish and seems to be of Hispanic nature. BUT! Do we know if she was ever really human?!

We know Adam claims to have named her Vaggie. This could suggest three things

1) exorcist take on a new name when they join. But if this was true why wouldnt she leave this name behind and return to her human name once in hell? It would have kept her secret better and you'd figure she would want to leave behind the negative feelings that would come with her exorcist name.

2) Adam in his self-centered ways misheard her real name (maybe something like Aggie from Agatha or Maggie) and thought she said Vaggie or actively chose to misinterpret her name and she never cared to correct him. BUT Once more why would she not just return to her real name once with Charlie in hell?

Or 3) And this one is the real kicker. Vaggie is a Heaven-born Angel.

If the answer is 3 than it would imply that she was never human which brings her closer to lucifers biology.

Some other interesting things to consider about this last theory. Lute and Vaggie resemble each other a great deal. In fact, all the exorcist seem to have a similar body type. (I mean you could argue its the uniform but even without the uniform the resembalance between lute and vaggie is uncanny) and if I remember correctly at one point the exterminators are refered to as sister? I mean this could mean sisters-in-arms BUT What if ALL exorcist were heaven-born?

If they were never human this could explain both their ability and their desire to slay sinners. Much like Sera they wouldn't have any sympathy for the dammed because they wouldn't have any possible family that could end up down there. They would also have Very little connection to or concern for former humans. After all like Adam said they had their chance and they screwed up.

So in the end what does this all mean?

Well I actually already kind of said it

1) Fandom really needs to stop applying human biology to Charlie. She is a half demon half archangel Nephilim with incredible magic.

If charlie wants a kid she can probably magic one up no matter the obsticles please stop asking artist and writers how it is possible for her and vaggie to have a kid/get pregnant if they are both women - the answer is Charlie Magic.

2) all 4 of the above have the potential to be way stronger than they have been shown in the show.

And

3) Charlie is a potential BadAss and is just too nice to go full tactical nuke - this will be covered in my next ted talk.

[dazed--xx]

🌘Rewriting Destiny (teaser) 🌒

Member: Duke! Chan x reader

Word count: 813

Trigger warnings: ANGST, Death (FL), psychological, trauma, poisoning, parental neglect/abuse, arranged marriage, anxiety, Nobility, engagement at a young age, regression, murder, revenge, mentions of magic, PTSD, manipulation, regretful ML, Resentment, betrayal, classism, 17th century ideals, homophobia(mentions), SOME!historical accuracy, LOTS! of historical inaccuracies, BREAK UP!, grief, mourning, denial, failure to let go, etc…

A/N: so I'm still transferring this story from my notebook onto tumblr but I wanted to get y'all excited for the new story so here is a little teaser of the story and don't worry its not too big of a spoiler 😂🤪

The family she had married into had lost use for her...

Y/Ns blood ran cold as she came to the realization. The move to the annex, the maids becoming more and more ruthless, and the lack of guards around her annex becoming more frequent. Her time is slowly coming to an end. She wondered if there was a point to all of this. Would there be a point in running? Her mother would hunt her down and skin her alive if she did. ‘Die a respected Dutchess rather than run and be a divorced beggar’ she could hear her mother say. Y/N watches as the blue clear sky fades into a bright purple and orange hue.

A knock on her door pulls her attention away from her thoughts. “Yes?” She calls monotonously. “The Duke is in the receiving room, My lady.” Area calls softly. Y/N's eyebrows furrow in confusion. “My lady?” Area calls once again when she doesn't reply. “I-Im coming! I apologize, Aera.” Y/N replies as she shakily lifts herself from her seat. The whole walk to the receiving room Y/N worried.

Why was he here? He's never visited of his own accord. What could be happening? Would he cast her out himself? A petite hand grips her own pulling her out of her thoughts. Y/N stares at the owner, as Aera gives her a comforting smile. Y/N lets out a sigh, the butler pulls open the door. She hesitates for a moment, it had been a year—one full year, since she had last seen her husband. A lot could change in a single year. She feared how her husband had changed; it was never good for her. She entered the room, her heart sank into her stomach. There he sat, at the head of the room. A flurry of maids standing about waiting on baited breath for his every command. His hair was no longer the clean-cut style but overgrown, sitting raggedly over his forehead and disheveled. Evidence of his bath dripping onto his loose black shirt. He sat a scowl on his plush lips as he sipped his tea. “To what do I owe the honor, Your grace?” Y/N questioned monotonously. “Should I have a reason to visit my dear wife?” He states smugly as he places his tea on the table in front of him. “Especially when I do not receive her greetings after a year-long monster-hunting expedition and come to discover she no longer lives in the same house as me?” Y/N stares at him in bewilderment and confusion. “Your grace?” She stammered “Please, take a seat” He gestured to the loveseat in front of him, his face no longer containing any emotion.

Y/N sits nervously as she begins to question her husband. “I apologize, but what do you mean? I’ve received your letter and followed your instructions.” Chan furrowed his eyebrows as his ears perked up “What letter?” Y/N's attention is pulled away from him by the slight clink of a teacup being placed on the table in front of her. Y/N's eyes remained focused on the maid for a moment, she couldn't quite put her finger on it but something felt…off. “Have you gone deaf in the past 5 minutes?” Chan questions frustratedly. Y/N shakes her head taking hold of the teacup and taking a sip. “No, I apologize. I've not been feeling well today” Y/N states calmly. Her throat begins to feel a small burning sensation. “What letter? When did you receive a letter from me?” Chan asks stoically. Y/N coughs slightly “My apologies, I received your letter about one months time ago” She takes another sip of tea trying to alleviate the growing discomfort. Chan stares at her with his eyebrows raised “And you are sure it was addressed from me?” her throat begins to burn incessantly. Her eyes widen as her mouth fills with a coppery tast as she coughs again.

“My lady?!?!” Area exclaims worriedly “Y/N?!”

Only then does Y/N make the connection. The maid—She works in the main manor, and she’s Kari’s personal maid. Y/N stares at the teacup in her hand, dropping it in a panic. Her eyes meet Chan’s for a moment. He sat stoically, but his eyes never once left her. Y/N rushes to her feet, reaching out for her personal maid “Aera!” She calls. Her tone gurgles and hoarse as crimson cascades out of her mouth. Her legs give way beneath her as she feels arms around her. The room begins to grow blurry as she feels the life fading from her body.

No…No not yet, please God! Don't let me die! I didn't get away…I-I was never happy please! She prays God please let me be happy. “If I could do it all over again…Id have never married you. My biggest regret was walking down that aisle…” She croaks as everything fades to black.

Taglist: @yangbbokari @lovesunshinefelix @oddracha @msauthor @azazelstays @rylea08 @skzfelixlove @blondechannie @moonchildlv @kibs-and-bits @5starlee @pnutbutter-n-j-elyy @lizzetmv @hwanriri

[froznwater]

im so sorry this is incredibly random but if i dont write alenoah i WILL die but i cant think of anything to write. do u have any simple ideas. ignore if not

HI!!! tysm for your ask <3 i hope you can find something to write amongst all the ideas. These are a bunch of ideas have written down in my notes/google drive/tumblr posts and have not got gotten around to. I still might at some point in time but feel free to use them. I will still do my own take if I get the time/motivation. There's simply so many, why not share and inspire some fics :)

----

General ideas:

Noah knows/learns spanish. Bonus points if Alejandro isn't aware until the perfect moment.

Alejandro thinks he can get away with flirting with Noah in spanish. Noah starts shit talking in spanish. Noah learns so he can hear all the little comments Alejandro keeps making under his breath. etc. so many possibilities.

Now that the show is over and Noah's off to college, he realizes he’s missing something in his life. Maybe it’s his friends, maybe it’s a lack of ever-looming danger, OR maybe it’s Alejandro. Who fucking knows. He’s too busy trying not to be in love with Alejandro to figure it out. 

Their group project is failing, horribly. There’s one thing Noah knows for certain: Alejandro's to blame. At what point does slippery eel turn into a term of endearment?

They have never ever fallen asleep next to each other. Let alone in each other's arms. Never.

Time loop where Alejandro is stuck on the episode where Noah gets voted out and sticks himself to falling in love because he can’t let go of his pride long enough to simply let Noah stay in the game and move on.

Noah loses his contacts and starts wearing his glasses more often. Alejandro notices. Everyone notices Alejandro notices.

Alejandro and Noah team up to get their friends together (insert whatever ship you like) and end up together in the process/the other two were trying to do the same thing for them.

A commentary timeline on how Alejandro's charisma turn into exploitation, how Noah's patience turned into indifference, and how they parallel each other. (I've written a few hundred words for this one lol.)

Each thinks the other doesn't like them. Cut to third party POV that watches and witnesses them completely a mess for each other.

Noah, once voted out in I See London, learns about Alejandro's family. Who have been very vocal since the show started airing.

Exploration of how Alejandro tries really really hard. Yes, He's at the top of the class, but so is Noah. Noah who sleeps through classes and doesn't turn in homework and shows up late or simply not at all and is still right up there with him.

“I would kill to be like you. To just absorb all the information fed to me. If I were you I might actually- “(beat my brother) “Might actually what?” “I told you. I don’t want to talk about it, Noah.” - "Do you know how long I studied for that test? Hours. And you- You got a 96 with no effort at all." It was a 98. But this seems like a bad time to correct him.

Dialogue one-liners prompts i've written down:

"If we make it out of this alive, I'm going to kiss you."

“Why do I feel like I cant say no to you?”

"I know you don't actually care about me, but thank you for trying to pretend that you do." (Said by Noah is joking. Said by Alejandro is bitter.)

"You can't win against someone who has nothing to lose."(Alejandro OR Noah angst.)

Soulmate aus:

My big two: Telepathy/Mentally linked.(imagine this one as a wt rewrite omg) And Whatever you draw on yourself shows up on your soulmate. Matching tattoos.

First words on each other. (I've done this one already here. but feel free to do it as well!!)

Communicating through dreams. (If you know cardcaptor sakura; like that.)

General AUs:

Until dawn AU.

Gakuen Alice AU.

My Babysitters A Vampire AU. Zombie Apoc AU.

Harry Potter AU. Reality Dating Show AU.

Infinity Train AU!!!!!!

Veronica Mars AU!!!! (i wanna do this one ALOT noah is sooo veronica LMAO) OBLIGATORY IDEAS:

seven minutes in heaven.

wrong number.

trapped in a closet.

movie night. noah is sitting under alejandro and lol they are physically, platonically touching for awhile. (leads to finally getting together).

one gets injured, the other fixes them up in the nurses office :P.

short "prompt-ishs" i've started writing:

“What the hell is your problem, Alejandro?” And this time, the tone was so disgusted, so bitter, that something snapped, deep in Alejandro’s chest.

Fuck it.

“What’s my problem?” He asked, incredulous. “What’s my problem? You’ve got to be kidding me, Courtney. I almost died. I almost died, paralyzed and alone, and the only friend I thought I had didn’t give a single shit! The only person who cared was Noah, of all people. I quite literally come back to life and the only thing you can do is whine about your girlfriend problems.”

Courtney takes a step back.

“I was stuck in a robot for months, my legs barely work, my family moved on- actually, I don’t know if they ever actually even noticed,” He laughs, broken, “- and you have the audacity to ask me what my problem is?!”

Alejandro is over playing nice. He’s had enough.

-

this one is a rivals team up to get out courtney blurb

little idea about Alejandro getting into zodiacs.

moments where alejandro questions why Noah is so attractive

-

SEND MORE ASKS IF ANYONE HAS ANY QUESTIONS ON ANY OF THESE IDEAS!!! / IF THEY HAVE ANY IDEAS OR CONCEPTS TO ADD OR EXPAND ON :)))

[staycait]

If you died on Wanderer’s birthday !

Wanderer x GN! Reader

Slight angst!

hey guys I KNOW ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE IVE POSTED HERE BUT IM BACK! I actually do bots instead of posting on tumblr so erm

MY GODD he would be devastated.

He couldn’t believe you died. Especially on his birthday.

To celebrate the date of his birth, only for you to die on the exact same day. A celebration of birth, and at the same time, a grief of a loss of life.

“You promised me you wouldn’t abandon me like the others, [name].”

He would definitely dread his birthday, I mean he still kind of celebrates it while he talks to you in your grave.

“Another day without you.”

Wanderer HATES having to leave your grave, he doesn’t want to move on. He tries to find alternatives though, but everything just reminds him of you.

A simple sumeru flower would just put Wanderer at the edge of a breakdown because he remembers the day he plucked it and put it just above your ear.

Visits your grave daily, even if he doesn’t have anything to talk about, he just sleeps there next to your grave to feel some sort of sense of closure.

On days Wanderer can’t, he would feel so guilty. He legit makes sure to never leave your grave the next day.

He blames himself for your death

“I’m sorry, I love you.”

“I love you so much [name]. I hope you’re doing just fine.”

…

“I bet you’re staring at me from above. It’s not fair.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

Snaps at anyone, and I mean ANYONE. When they talk to him if he realizes he misses or forgets to visit your grave or if it’s birthday.

Wanderer tells you about everything that goes on in his life. Like from something major that’s like; “Hey, I won a medal and a trophy and a certificate.” to a “I stubbed my toe, everyone says it hurts, but I don’t understand how it does??” (I will want to believe he has high pain tolerance)

He will LITERALLY talk to you in your grave for decades long.

Sings or hums your favorite song when he’s bored (whether or not he’s next to your grave or somewhere else)

(bonus: when you were alive he said he hated the song, but he secretly likes it only because you like it.)

Will be talking to you every single day

Up until the day he forgets what you look like.

[bisexualnerd]

Hii i wanted to tell you i loved that last chapter you dropped, I saw the tag major character death and immediately went ah. so it’s one of those fics. where jay dies and it’s just hurt hurt hurt as the last note. Ahhh just—they haven’t acknowledged each other as brothers yet your honor 💔 and Tim knows now (great pretending your found family aren’t also vigilantes acting from him) and Jason never knew, like peak potential. I can imagine he’s gonna go ??? who the fuck pulled my baby bird into the vigilante business and uh why?? without knowing (if this goes like we all know) that Tim was the one who wanted to honor him and keep Robin’s legacy alive. Also I can imagine the whole imaginary friend think goes back to a box at the back at his head?? Timmy was just getting warmer to the truth and Jay goes out to pull this stuff. classic. (me being annoyed) — Aww but really poor Jay I can imagine he’s never felt more spiteful of the fact that his powers don’t extend to phasing through things and not just walls. jay in my head: cursing under his breath how he just gets partial danny phantom adjacent abilities, i mean if he’s gonna have a power why not have it full pump I-can-walk-through-walls-disappear-and-fly package.

really just really excited where u take the fic, hope u don’t mind my rambling, just wanted to drop my thoughts 💜💜 also like take your time, i hope im not adding pressure or anything

Ohmygosh it's been so long since I've got an inbox on Tumblr!! And of course I don't mind because I'm ecstatic!!! I love hearing you guys' thoughts about my writing!!!

And Jay's death is like, such a constant in the fandom (and when he doesn't die, he still gets injured and traumatised so severely). And there was no way Tim would have let the Waynes know because if he had done that, they would have never, under any circumstances, let him go out to photograph anymore 😂😂

I actually did initially draft up his power to be able to phase through everything, but then I remembered all my evil plans for the series and I was like, skrttt~ STOP! And I had to nerf him 😅 Now I can picture a side story, or a small part of a fic of him cursing his power in Ethiopia 😈 (and why is partial danny phantom adjacent abilities so freaking funny 🤣)

Thank you so so much for the really fun and lovely inbox!!! I hope the direction of the series in the future will keep you interested 🥰🥰

[brb-on-a-quest]

Day Fourteen Day Fifteen Day Sixteen

im SOOOOO SORRY that I left you guys hanging those two days! *cries* the first one I genuinely forget, and the second I was too busy to do it- and I think that this is not the first time this might happen, since the farm (oh yeah, if you're not one of my regular followers, you should know I'm a farmhand lol) is picking up steam, during my down time Im trying to do more physical rest for my body to recover. which means unfortuantely, Ive been spending less time on here in general, and that my longer posts that take more time to write have had to pause for a while.

so, I'm sorry to say but this is the last day i'll be able to do this for a while, but maybe forever. I've had so much fun with it and loved to see everybody's different answers, and how we've all connected!! but for at least a few days/weeks, I need a bit of a break lol. if anyone wants to pick up this game again, with the same list of people I've given already or different ones, you are more than welcome to! and I'm not leaving Tumblr, I'm just not going to do this particular ask game anymore.

our final question: what is something that you you want in your life, and what can you do to achieve it? what steps do you need to take to earn the life you see yourself living?

thank all of you so much! I hope to return again maybe sometime! I wish you all the best :)

Awww no worries gracie! take care of yourself first. Def appreciate all the work it must've taken to come up with good questions. I'll be sure to haunt your inbox soon with hopefully some equally thought-provoking (or not) questions.

ok, actual question: our final question: what is something that you you want in your life, and what can you do to achieve it? what steps do you need to take to earn the life you see yourself living?

To be honest, this question has haunted me for the past...well since before high school. (has it really been almost 10 years since I was a baby highschool freshman?). To be also perfectly honest, my depression and anxiety were so bad I was never convinced I would make it as far as I did... which allowed me to put off answering the question for a long while until the Hour of College Applications approached.

Well, against all previous conceptions of my future, I am still alive and about to graduate in December (literally how) and set to walk across the beautiful stage in May to get my undergrad diploma with some kind of academic honors (I forget the Latin for it). Definitely not the highest GPA, but I am relatively proud of myself considering the effort and, for lack of a better phrase, blood, sweat, and tears that have gone into this. So, steps that need to happen in order to graduate

Pass classes (Preferably with A's but I'm also in a position where hopefully my self-esteem won't die with a B or 2).

Write and Finish my thesis (shaking crying throwing up I don't have enough capacity for this even if it's only 15 pages in Spanish)

Study and hopefully pass a GRE (graduate school readiness exam I think? 'cuz I'm told it's a good idea for master's school applications I can not stress enough how much I hate standardized tests and am so anxious about this that I haven't even opened my books yet, I've just been throwing myself into thesis research instead; I 'know not all schools require this but I'm going into something that's not my major, so I feel some kind of need to prove myself).

Apply to graduate schools for counseling!

Only four things... it shouldn't be so bad.... one would think... (can I please just skip to the part where this is over why do people call college the best years of my life).

The other thing I want to work on is just being a better person and in particular a better friend. My goal is therapy, particularly pediatric therapy because it's such a neglected area where I'm from and also in general I think because there tends to be stereotypes of "oh children can't have mental health problems." but doing that means I want to develop more compassion, friendliness, and patience and gentleness and actual listening skills while being assertive...yk an environment that nurtures personal and other's growth. Which is really hard. Progress has been made but still more to go.

[cheolhub]

Talk about your moots; what do you like most about them (could be a paragraph or a single sentence, spread the love!!)

p sure i did this just a few days ago but everyone knows i adore my moots so i dont mind doing it again :)

it’s kinda long! (took me a literal hour and a half to write) and i tried to get everyone i talk to on a tri-weekly basis at least 😅

@ncteez i know you said to pick what i like most abt my moots, but i love everything about hon from the way she looks (she’s literally the most gorgeous person ever— she still owes me a selfie now that im thinking abt it) right down to her core. 🥹 the only mark stan who has ever walked the planet actually,,, i love hearing about her sex dreams and i love the way that she gives the best advice bc she only wants the best for me and how genuine she is. I LOVE HER & she makes me a better person every day, seriously ⭐️ i <3 my wife

@jeonghantis 🩵 there are about a million and three things that i can write for keir but i think the thing i love most about them is that… i can just be sar with them, i never have to worry about being judged for the things i like bc 9 times out of 10, keir feels the same way. like who else am i gonna talk about [redacted] with chan with ??? or [ censored beeping for 10 minutes straight ] with sangyeon ?? my jeonghannie, my bff, my ride or die <3 (they also hate everyone that i hate and watch my instagram lives even tho im super annoying which means i am going to die for them)

@onlyseokmins literally just love elv’s personality. she has this infectious positivity and it makes me so happy to be alive like dhahdh,,, every time i see her on the dash reblogging the silliest things or cute pics or even talking to other people, it makes me smile so hard like idk she’s so bright PLUS she’s resident dk lover on tumblr like there is no one else. tumblr user onlyseokmins is quite literally the only dk stan alive

@lovelyhan ok two things i love the most — one: kai’s writing will always get me out of a reading slump. i re-read their fics an ungodly amount of times, like i actually need to be blocked by them ( i definitely didn’t re-read inflection point again TODAY on my lunch break, nope! i didn’t! 😂……) TWO: kai is literally so sweet and funny and we don’t really talk much, but from what i know, they’re a really great person and anyone would be lucky to have them as a moot! ^^

@agustdiv1ne ash and i are actually moving to alaska and we’re gonna be neighbors /srs,,, srsly tho, i told her this already, but she’s an amazing listener and she puts up with my shitty texting and i seriously cant appreciate that more 😢 she’s so wonderful and lovely and my favorite yoongi stan to ever exist and i will shield her from the heat. don’t worry, ash, 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚.

@soonigiri MELODY <333 the soonyoung to my cheol!! she’s also someone i enjoy seeing on my dash sm!! she’s literally an angel and it’s so endearing to see her in her engene era. like i look forward to seeing jungwon on my dash every day /srs — OKAY ACTUALLY, ik im an awkward freak but i would love to talk to you more bc i think we have a lot in common T-T

@etherealyoungk SKYE i know we interact like every 3 weeks but each of them do really mean a lot to me <33 i think she’s really kind-hearted and i get really happy when i see her jn my inbox from time to time!! it’s like a nice little surprise which i love 🥹💝 it’s like finding a rice krispie at the bottom of my lunch box (if you don’t know the feeling, think immense joy)

@rubyreduji JJ THE COOLEST GUY EVER. he’s such a joy to talk to and i love that he’s lowkey my hypeman. every time i run a concept or idea by him, he makes me feel really good about it and i adore that. he’s so supportive i love him and i need to hug him so bad actually 🥹 (i give good bear hugs jj, pls let me hug u) also jj doesnt care that im a weirdo awkward freak and i have to commend him for that too ☺️

@toruro mikalicious always know what to say which is what i love the absolute most abt them now. when im in a shit mood, she knows exactly how to make me feel better and always helps me take my mind off of it. she’s so cute and wonderful inside and out and i really am so eternally grateful to have her as a mutual and a friend <33 also, mika, this is my formal apology for being the world’s worst texter 😅

@gyuswhore EM THE COOLEST PERSON EVER. i love her so much actually. she and i just started talking and i have to say, she is just so,,,, amazing? idk, i dont have the words for it. she was so kind to me when reading my wonu fic and she just read over my new cheol wip and she has given me such great feedback and im so appreciative of her!! + sending pics is lowkey my love language and she lets me send her the most random shit (my pc collection, my room, etc.) i love her 💝

@hwanghyunjinenthusiast MY FAV JOKSTER dbehdh talking to rj is seriously a breath of fresh air lol I LOVE her humor and she understands my humor. ALSO….. something about rj’s writing also does something to me… like i remember i was super depressed while i had strep and on a brief tumblr hiatus and i came onto the app for just a second and saw that she’d posted … mean dom!chan… i remember reading it and crying bc she GETS IT. no one gets me like rj (i forgot to rb now that im thinking abt it but im gonna get on that) my fave dinonara <3

@heesbaby TUMBLR USER HEESBABY SINGLE HANDEDLY GOT ME BACK INTO ENHYPEN. i never thought id see the day, but bc of her smau’s and writing, i’m back in my engene era… i love how much of an angel cinna is like,,, we talk every once in awhile but she makes me the happiest girl ever when she replies to my asks or i find her in my inbox. i’ll actually fight jay for cinna

@hyuk4ngel RESIDENT MINGYU STAN,, fay has been here with me since what feels like the fucking beginning and i seriously can’t thank her enough. she’s really encouraging and amazing and she has the best ideas ever. i swear half of my writing discography is thanks to her (just my mingyu fics which is lowekey half my writing discography begsgs) she also is always checking in and i just love her for that and many other things 🥹

@baeksbyunny / @baekhyunnybyun (you’ll have to remind me which acct im supposed to tag) BEX MY BELOVED!!! THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HER IS SERIOUSLY INDESCRIBABLE!!! she’s the nicest person to me. like i’ll never forget when i was anxious before my txt concert and she was so reassuring like i felt a weight lift off my shoulders. INSTANT (sar)otonin boost every time we talk, idk what it is. probably the fact that she has the most comforting presence. i love her, you honor. i rest my case.

@majestyjun mills was like the first moot i’d ever talked to,,, but i remember i was so intimidated the first time we did bc millie is literally so fucking cool like,,, i have always thought this and when she said //I// was cool and i was genuinely so honored like…. idk >< ALSO HER WRITING IS SOHSHSBS OUT OF THIS WORLD … the concepts the description,,, she’s a genius!!!

@sunnylovespickles even tho we just became moots, i thought it was really sweet that she dropped off pics of pink!cheol for me 🥹 my day was really bad and that brightened it so much <33 i hope to have more interactions with her in the future bc she seems so nice!!

[lumineescente]

Seungjin drabble (slowtober challenge)

hii im doing a thing called slowtober (made by @/oeildesaturne on instagram, french speaking folks check it out!! although be aware of tw mental health and eds talks) and i'm posting on twitter a seungjin au per word

I'm late in the updating on tumblr but for the sixth days (october 16th - 18th) the word was "phobia"

I thought for sooo long and then decided to go for something light hearted and fun

So here is my vampire Kim Seungmin and his blood phobia meeting broke med student Hwang Hyunjin

For the tags well blood vampires and past 2min mentioned

Still no betaing to this and oh yeah this was my first time ever writing about vampires I usually hatee vampires story but maybe i'm growing up

AND if you enjoyed this challenge who is now over you can vote on this form for your favorite that I'll be writing into a full fic on ao3! ("soumettre" is "submit" btw)

if you want to check all the drabbles you can go here

Kim Seungmin is in front of a very annoying and ridiculous dilemma. And all of that is linked to the pathetic fact that he is starving.

Everything is Lee Minho’s fault, to be honest. For decades actually, everything has been his fault, because Seungmin would have never been starving, pacing in front of the back entrance of a hospital if it had not been for Minho’s fault. He is starving because he has been pushing that moment for days now. Maybe at some point hunger will take over his phobia of blood and he will just jump on the first person that goes by. Or he will die of starvation. Like he could die. Fuck Minho.

Usually Minho would concede his part of responsibility in all this situation, and he would be the one to deal with the whole starving part but right now Minho has a new boy toy and has disappeared. Seungmin knows very well how all this will end up because he has been Minho’s boy toy at some point, a very long time ago, a century ago and sometimes he feels like throwing up when he thinks about it. Sure it was great at the beginning, but then it was not and Seungmin was stuck.

Stuck in the body of a twenty five year old, stuck between the eternal dilemma of drinking people’s blood or fading away in slumber in a dark place, preferably a coffin. And both sucks because Seungmin has always had a very deep phobia of blood and now he is eternally being confronted by him. Why was his twenty five years old self so damn stupid?

He feels sick, as much as he can in his vampire form at least. His body weakens and even in the night time he feels like the public lightning is hurting him, he has trouble focusing on his vision and his head hurts so much it gives him dizziness. Fuck.

It could be very easy actually, he could find one random person and suck their blood out, and all the symptoms will be gone and he will be fine to go for a few weeks again, but his phobia is just plain stupid. The idea of drinking blood out of someone makes him feel even sicker, it paralyzes him. It is probably due to the fact that he can feel the person alive, the pulsing of their blood in their artery, and the warmness of it and the body, yeah, he can not do that. He can drink out of blood pocket, the one thing Minho promised he would always make up for. Seungmin will make sure Minho will never see the end of this.

Minho did leave some indications on how he gets the blood pockets usually, the hospital he goes to and how he gets in it but contrary to Minho, Seungmin has a conscience and maybe a faint reminder of a soul. Or maybe Seungmin has not been a vampire for long enough (just a few decades, not even a century). Anyway, he is not strong enough to do all this and now he is thinking about all the humans that could die because of him stealing some blood.

Seungmin takes a moment to realize that his canines are puncturing his lower lips, blood drips out of it. His senses are all over the place now. He does not hear the door opening, but he hears the pulse of blood running in a human body and the sound of his heart beating, it makes him crave with thirst and hunger and disgusts him at the same time, chills going down his spine. He does not control it when he jumps on the poor person that has just gotten out of the hospital.

The person screams when they both fall down the floor and he only hears them like their voices are an echo because all he hears is the blood. There is no control left in his own body, just hearing himself at the very back of his mind crying because he hates it so much, hates losing any kind of control, hates hearing blood like that, but there is nothing he can do about that.

As he can see himself getting closer and closer to that poor person throat, himself is experimenting an outer body experience, he hears the person scream and he feels them fight back the weight over them, helplessly because even running out on his last forces he is still stronger and faster than this human person could ever be.

"Please don't do that," the person implores under him, "Lee Minho sent me here!"

The name acts like an electro shock for Seungmin although he does not let go of his grip, because damn this human smells so delicious and he is so hungry he cant think, and his fangs are out. However his vision refocuses a little and he sees behind him a young boy, probably around his age (when he got turned.. at least), with black hair tied on a bun on his head, a medical white coat and a terrorising expression on his face. Seungmin feels so bad and so hungry, it feels like he is going insane.

"What?" He stutters.

It is ridiculous how hard it is to speak like that.

"Lee Minho?" The person says again, "if you let go of me I promise I got the... thing you're looking for."

It takes everything, absolutely everything in Seungmin to be able to do as said, but he still manages to get off them. Very quickly they crawl away from him, it still feels very bitter to be the reason of someone's else fear, Seungmin thinks. The person searches in their lab coat pocket and then takes something out of it. Seungmin recognises the blood pockets that Minho usually stock in their fridge.

"Please dont bite me," the person whispers, handing out the blood pockets.

Seungmin considers them still on the ground in front of him, curled up over themselves only their arm extending. They are looking at him with pleading eyes. He takes a step forward and they curl up even more, he sighs and very quickly takes the blood pockets. He does not even bother and bites into the plastic immediately.

He lets out a content sigh when he feels finally the energy coming back in his body and the fog in his brain finally lifting up. Once he is done with the first pocket he gets back to his senses and suddenly realises that the person he had just attacked is still staring at him in the exact same position as before.

"I'm sorry," he mutters.

He feels ashamed of himself now. He does not know this person at all and he probably just gave them the worst fear of their life.

"Its okay," they answer although nothing in voice sounds like they are okay, "Minho warned me it could happen."

Seungmin rolls his eyes.

"You do that often?" He wonders.

"Only for Minho."

Seungmin swallows down the amount of inappropriate questions he has in his mind, although he is almost sure Minho's current boy toy's name is Jisung.

"He gives me money," he adds quickly.

"That's... okay?"

"I just didnt want you to assume stuff. He flirts a lot but it's not like that."

Seungmin stares. He can hear their heart beating faster.

"Okay," he says again.

He also notes that the stranger is very cute. Scrap that brain, he pesters at himself. The person stands up suddenly.

"I gotta go back to work."

Seungmin stops sipping on his blood pocket, "you work here?"

"Yeah, how do you think I get these?"

"But..."

They shrug, "I need the money. And you need food or else you'll do exactly what you just did to me. And its fucking scary."

"Right. Thanks."

"I'm Hyunjin by the way."

"Seungmin," he stutters.

"Well.. so, maybe I'll see you around?"

Seungmin is not sure exactly what this question involves exactly but it makes him smile slightly, "yeah. Sure."

Hyunjin smiles and waves him goodbye and goes back inside the hospital.

Maybe, just maybe, Seungmin does not hate Minho as much as usual today.

[jeymoi]

reaaalllyy hoping i finish all these sketches/doodles some day soon because i am very satisfied with them and want to see them complete lmmaaoo — we will see though because art fight is once again taking over my life and all my energy. but for now, you get sneak peeks of my most perfect imperfections (aka, they don’t look quite right but i’m still happy i got them started).

CW: venting/emotional (?)

ANYYYWWAAYYY — my quick tumblr diary vent entry is just gonna be me appreciating my best friend and picking apart my brain✌️🥹.

for the most part, life is kind of kicking my ass and everyday feels suffocating, but for once in my life, i genuinely have someone who i can comfortably open up to. it’s a weird feeling? being vulnerable in a healthy way? in a way, i think parts of my brain is trying to reject the idea that i can fully trust and ask for support from someone. i’m really not that sure why my walls have come down like this so quickly in a sense?? but i’m really grateful for each and every day that i am able to spend with them. there is nothing i could do to ever repay how much they’ve done for me. this has been the most growth i feel within my own character and emotional well-being. though of course there are many important people in my life, i’ve learned so much from just one person about so many different things and so many ways to think positively, accept myself, and to look for the things in life that may be fulfilling. i’m relearning to take care of myself more and to try to prioritize my well being. though life-long habits will die hard, the comfort of knowing someone cares enough to be patient while im growing hits me like a brick. as a chronic cry baby, i’m relearning that it’s okay to cry in front of people and that being sensitive doesn’t mean i’m weak.

the other day, i told my best friend my deepest secret after an especially rough night. i cried so fucking much that day. it’s terrifying to tell someone something you’ve been closely guarding almost all your life. it’s terrifying when the last person you showed vulnerability to in the same way told you to just find a way to deal with it and to never talk about your struggles again. it’s terrifying to give your all to people who tell you that you mean so much to them only to realize too late that you don’t actually mean as much to them. in every sense of my being, this fear still racks at my brain, though i think i’ve accepted it as my fate, my role and purpose. now, though it feels like a weight lifted from my heart, i find it terrifying to feel like i matter to someone just as much as they to me.

the intrusive thoughts in my mind warn me that i’m making mistakes. they tell me that i should run away, that i should put back up the fucking walls because they’ll keep me safe. but some part of me wants to trust again. i want to keep indulging in being able to rely on someone who doesn’t judge my very being. the guilt eats me alive each time but they reassure me that no boundaries are being crossed. though, even if i’m blinded by hopefulness and my experiences run parallel to that of the past, i will never resent everything i’ve learned and the validity i received.

as fucked up as i am of a human being, i truly hope in this world that everyone is able to find someone for them even half as lovely and genuine as my best friend. even if just for a little bit, i want to keep trusting in his words.

(if you happened to have read through the entirety of my vague-ass brain dump, thank you very much 🤭<3 i dont think much of it makes sense as it is past three am and i have had so very little sleep the last couple if weeks, but i wanted this here for myself hehehe — hopefully it had some sort of entertainment factor if you were bored enough to read it !! anyways, now that i’ve gotten this off my chest, time to try to fix my sleep schedule once more.)

[lilchicknugg]

to commemorate me being on tumblr heres a questionnaire i filled out a few months ago!

Rules: Complete the form by answering each section truthfully. Once you’ve finished, tag other users to complete the task. Begin by sourcing the person who tagged you.

Have you ever…

Been cheated on: never gave anyone the chance to

Kissed someone and regretted it: i haven’t had my first kiss yet but i’d probably only kiss someone i was already comfortable around

Drank hard liquor: once

Been drunk and thrown up: i’ve never gotten drunk but after drinking tequila for the first time i threw up later in the night (i’m allergic to alcohol)

Met someone who changed you: probably my two friends who i met in the 6th grade who taught me to break rules for the first time. i was always scared to disobey authority figures (parents and teachers) in my life but after meeting them i was able to find who i really was and grow into myself. they also taught me that its LOTS of fun breaking the rules.

Fallen out of love: i have never fallen in love (in another reality, i would love to tho)

Found out who your true friends are: yes—my sisters are my closest friends

Lost glasses: nope, i take very good care of my things

Sex on the first date: no. i would only have sex the night i get married.

Been arrested: i’m not cool enough for that

Turned someone down: kind of? he asked if he could get to know me better and the idea alone made me want to cry forever so i stood up for myself for once and told him i didn’t have time for that. it wasn’t technically a lie since i was extremely stressed about college applications and all he wanted to do was talk about college plans.

Fallen for a friend: i don’t really have guy friends

What was your…

Last drink: lipton iced tea

Last text message: “x men first class guys”. i texted it to a group chat with my sisters and cousin since we were trying to find a movie for movie tonight. P.S. i love x-men!! first class might be my favorite but i haven’t finished the entire saga yet since i’m trying to go through it slowly. the last x-men movie i saw was x-men apocalypse which a pretty good movie too!

More questions…

Do you have any pets: nope but i hope to someday own a fish, bunny and or german shepherd. my sisters have had lots of pets though. they had a bunny, guinea pig, pug and beagle. the bunny and guinea pig have long passed away but the pug and beagle are still alive and are currently residing in our farm. it’s a real farm btw not the kind of the farm that parents tell their kids they put their pets in whey they die.

What did you do for your last birthday party: i went to a cafe with my two friends for breakfast then my family and i went to a restaurant for dinner. the best part was when my sister and i both made our own birthday cakes and blew out candles before midnight!

Name something you cannot wait for: the graham effect by elle kennedy! there aren’t many details yet but im assuming its a book about the children of hannah wells and garrett graham from the deal which is one of my all time favorite books.

What irritates you: when people touch my things/ move it from its rightful spot

Nickname(s): meg (i severely dislike it and told everyone not to call me that but no one listened)

Relationship status: single! since birth!

Favorite TV show: vampire diaries, smallville, gossip girl and rick and morty

High School: oro christian grace school

College: ateneo de manila university (truthfully, i hope to transfer school soon)

Hair Color + Length: dyed brown hair! around mid-boob length

Height: 5’2” (im ok with it)

Your crush: ryke meadows

Tattoos: none. i don’t know if i want one though, i change my mind too much to commit to something permanent on my body

Right or left-handed: right

Any surgeries: never

Any piercings: one piercing on each ear. i have gold diamond earrings i’ve been wearing since the 7th grade but i really wish they were silver

Favorite sport: none but hopefully i get into ballet soon

First vacation: hong kong? i don’t remember what we did but i know we used to go there a lot when my sisters and i were younger. though if i were to guess, we probably went to disneyland and stayed in marco polo hotel.

What do you like…

Hugs or kisses: hugs i think

Shorter or taller: taller for sure. ideally someone around 5’10”.

Older or younger: older but not too much older i guess. maybe 5 years older would be the cut off.

July 2, 2023 (Sunday) 4:04 AM

[zaceouiswriting]

Life

Good sad day my friends!

I would’ve never thought that I would write a message like this. But here we are. Today we are getting a bit personal, maybe even a bit more than most of you are comfortable with.

I’m a 24 year old dude. As many of you might already have guessed gay. But there is also a very dark side of me, despite all my creative work. Since as my therapist believes, my birth, I suffer from manic depression. To top this all off, I got hit by a truck when I was nineteen. It almost ripped my left foot from my body. 

After getting into a hospital it took two weeks, before doctors could save it, in an operation that with some complications took over twelve hours.

Up to this point in my life, I was hyper focused on school. I had to learn a third language, because I didn’t do it when I was younger to finish school, which seemed impossible for me. After this accident, every little thing took a backseat.

My mental health fell into a dark pit, worse than anything I had encountered before. The worst thing was, that no-one around me seemed to really care, except for my father who tried everything to keep me going. But something in me died that day. As I was laying on the street, after getting hit by this truck, on my way to school, on my bicycle.

I couldn’t hold myself together. Went less and less to school, until the point, I wasn’t able to finish it anymore. After the school year ended, I was able to leave the house for two-three more months, before this was impossible for me.

Since then I have developed a fear, a panic to leave my home.

You might asked yourself: „Why is this dude on the internet on Tumblr of all places, who writes stuff, telling me all of this?“

Well my answer is a sad one. Since that day, I of course needed something to cope with. To keep me afloat. Because I am actively trying to get the only talent I have, telling stories, to finance a future for myself. It is also the only thing, that is keeping me actively alive.

But there are things, that keeps my head from the more darker thoughts. And as silly as this might sound, it is mostly youtube gaming content.

Im a gamer, when I'm not writing, which is a big part of my life. Today a news, that shocked my world broke to me trough.

I don’t know how many of you are gamers themselves or watching gaming content, But there is a guy his name is „Technoblade“, who is a beacon for me. Someone who could make me laugh, at the darkest of my moments, giving me a hand, to help me on a ledge to get out of the darkness to at least exist without the hopelessness, my head wants me to feel.

Today I learned, that he died. After as it seems a long hard battle with cancer. Which hit me extra hard, because a couple of years ago, when I was seventeen, I was at the side of a childhood friend, until her passing away from the same illness. I told her stories to keep her head off of things. But we all knew that she was going to die.

When we were kids, I promised her that I would be there, when she passes on. Then, neither of us knew what that meant. But I kept my promise. And hold her until her very last breath. Before she passed on, she told me that she loved me. She knew that I could never reciprocate her feelings, but I loved her too, not in the same sense, she did me, but it was enough to tell her that I loved her too.

I hoped, to never get trough an experience like this, at least not, until I was better myself. Even without knowing Technoblade personally. He saved my life countless of times. Not only he, but other content creators as well.

It hurts deep down, that everything I can get help from, are now only old videos of him, things I already watched, love but already know. To be aware of the fact, that he is gone, hits so much deeper, than I ever thought was possible. At the end of the day, I and so many others, did not know I’m personally, but he still was a part of our lives. A bright one at that.

Im angry, at the audacity of life to let someone, even younger than me, go trough this, to die such a horrible death. I’m sad for his family and everyone who got impacted by his humor, wit and friendliness. But I’m also happy, that he was a part of my life and so many others too. His death might be a great loss, but his memories are treasures we all should keep in our hearts.

We should take an example of his strength, his will and mental fortitude. 

And to the unasked question, why I telling this on Tumblr? To be honest I don’t have any other meanings of doing this. As I had said, I was hyper focused on school and after my accident, had not the strength to build anything else up. Just now years later, I slowly come out of my own shell. But I have no experience with Social Media, or Youtube or such. So this is really the only place I can tell a part of my story and tell people, how much Technoblade helped me get trough a lot of the darker times.

I just hoped, I could’ve keep his spirit alive. But as incompetent as I am at social media, more than this post, most likely will not happen. Which is sad, because for the impact he had, he would’ve deserved so much more from me.

Thank you for reading all of this, I just hope, enough people get to read this. And sorry for the ramble, when I’m under mental stress, I tend to jump between the things I want to tell.

Rest in Peace, Technoblade.

Have great day, you beautiful people, even with this news and these circumstances. I will take this day off from any work and will rewatch most likely all of his content.

We see us tomorrow hopefully under more heartwarming circumstances.

[claymotif]

hi luna vitally important question. for all of your ocs if they were inexplicably youtubers what niche youtube subculture would they be a part of

the way u always ask about ALL my guys. i get to sit here and rant about them for 12 hours straight bc theres so many <3

(also im ASSUMING u mean like. a modern day au. like they live in our world. sorry if that's not the case)

aderyn: fashion vlogger. he'd be so annoying too bc the thing is his goal is to show ppl how to dress for their body type but also their level of comfort w/exposure, the weather, the occasion; like he wants ppl to rly think about what they're putting into a fit instead of just following trends. also he's constantly following keldan around like "let me give you a makeover next time ur in town" and keldan refuses. obviously. they have ongoing twitter beef about it so there's actually a surprising amount of fandom crossover

keldan: travel vlogger. like he lives out of a van/rv so he'd do periodic van tours, show off where he's staying, what he saw, etc. he always posted the videos like two weeks after he was actually there so no one could predict where he was going next. sometimes he does campsite reviews but they're all super vague like "the views were great! bathrooms were kinda gross if ur not a fan of bugs" and everyone's like "what does that mean. how many bugs were there". his viewership is all ppl who romanticize vanlife but would never actually do it.

melati: cafe reviews. luckily she lives in like... nyc or some other large city so there is no shortage of cafes to visit. she'll do repeat visits to cafes if she likes them or if they're the type to do seasonal specials or change their menu a lot. she's also active on tiktok where she does "what to order at starbucks" and it's those insane drink modifications that no reasonable human being would ever actually order. (except if you did for some ungodly reason actually order them, they'd be pretty fuckin good.)

seia: not actually on youtube. he shows up one day on keldan's channel and it's like... kind of extremely obvious that the two of them are traveling together but it's not like he shows up in every single place they visit (is keldan just not filming him? is he really not there? no one knows) and also the two of them never clarify their relationship (also true to canon) so comments are like "theyre dating for sure" "uh you can't just assume that" "theyre sleeping in the same bed tho?" "maybe seia has his own van" "it's homophobic to imply that they're just friends" "can't we just have rep for non-toxic male friendships?" etc etc. seia screenshots the best ones and sends them to the sky sea gang's discord server.

delwyn: daily vlogger, but it's clickbait-y shit like "i almost died doing parkour today" and then u watch it and he actually DID almost die and ur like. how did yt allow this to be uploaded. luckily he doesn't do any of the cringy prank stuff but he doesn't need to bc he's cringy enough on his own. the secondhand embarrassment is so real but he has a ton of followers anyway bc ppl are like "no way how is this guy still alive". it's like watching a train wreck or seeing a car crash. you just HAVE to find out more

chan: chan would have a cooking channel. he'd post recipes and tutorials and stuff and would have a long-running series where he invites other big-name youtubers and tries to teach them how to cook, except theyre always atrociously bad at it and it's funny. 90% of the ppl subbed to him don't cook, don't know how to cook, have never and will never try any of his recipes (even tho he'd make it SOOO easy for beginners) they literally just think he's funny and like to listen to his jokes. there's a small minority of ppl who do try his recipes and post rave reviews on their tumblr blogs about him. he never sees them bc he doesn't use tumblr

junhee: junhee would inexplicably have one of those asmr craft channels. i like to think he's really dedicated to those paper theaters (exhibit a, exhibit b) so most of his content is making those (he does a lot from scratch, zero pattern/template etc, but he also does requests for pokemon cards and stuff like that as well as theme requests. if someone requests like a ghibli movie or maybe a minecraft inspired one he'll take that into account. he's got a whole list he's working through). but he also sometimes does mini diorama stuff (exhibit a, exhibit b). those are extremely rare uploads bc theyre so time and resource intensive but ppl go crazy for them. he's got almost a million subs even tho ppl have never seen his face or heard his voice. he rarely even replies to comments. it's literally like he just logs in to upload a video and leaves again. no one's gonna say he's their fave youtuber or anything but no one hates him that's for sure

sasha: sasha would be a daily vlogger. just like here's my life etc. except they still work in a hospital/medical care so the vlogs are supremely censored bc of hipaa and other privacy policies and also bc some of the stuff they do on the daily is actually gross and would get taken off youtube. they have like max 6k subs but those 6k subs are dedicated. they love sasha's content and are like genuinely invested even tho sasha's extremely vague all the time

hana: hana would literally be one of those tech review vloggers. she gets free stuff and sponsorships etc from cutting edge companies and startups. microsoft sends her care packages. she has like a billion subs. it's like 63% male viewership so she says it's only bc they think she's mildly attractive but all the comments sections are ppl genuinely interested in her reviews and opinions. healthiest yt comment section on the planet no joke

kei: SUPER into astrology. she posts videos like "how to interpret your daily horoscope" and "what mercury in retrograde means for YOU". but she's actually more into tiktok where she does vids like "zodiac signs as vines" and "zodiac songs as hit 1999 singles" etc etc. has a cult following that takes everything she says super seriously even tho she herself is like "guys it's not that serious"

other fun trivia:

junhee has a tumblr that's totally untraceable to his yt account. the last time he reblogged a post was in 2016 and he only uses it to find the recipe reviews ppl post about chan's channel.

the tsh main trio have a weird poly thing going on. they're not out about it but junhee's guested on chan's channel ("this is my bf junhee", zero mention of said bf having a yt channel bc that's how junhee prefers it) and there are brief glimpses of delwyn's filming through the apartment where ppl see the kitchen and are like "isn't that....?" somehow delwyn always sees those comments and replies "idk who this chan guy is :/" and no one can tell if he's being serious

in this universe sasha and hana are madly in love because there's no "you literally killed my brother" "well he came back didn't he?" conflict to tear them apart. they're so gross and mushy about it. sasha catches hana in their vlogs, they do unboxing videos together, and every time they kiss or are generally in love on camera ppl post fan edits on twitter like "omg they're so in love" "get you someone who looks at you like hana looks at sasha" etc.

no one knows hana and kei are friends until they both show up in one of sasha's vlogs. the entire internet explodes bc the whole jokey rivalry their fandoms have built up ("theyre so different they wouldn't get along if they knew each other irl") just crumbles.

if seia DID have a youtube channel it would be asmr bullet journal/calligraphy stuff. also stationery-from-aliexpress unboxing videos. but his current lifestyle (driving across the country in a van with his not-boyfriend) doesn't really suit the stationery hoarding thing. so.

keldan finally agrees to let aderyn give him a makeover and then they DON'T FILM IT. keldan films exactly one video with the Look that aderyn puts together for him and then never does it again. everyone is freaking out about it

[yesimwriting]

Falling Angels: chapter two

A/n took me longer to get around to writing part 2 than i thought!! i didn’t know there was an audience for this idea but im glad you guys liked it!!

Im adding a country to the grishaverse to make my story work,, def not a big deal i just needed a country in which i could control the history of without worrying about conflicting with cannon lol 

Link to part one: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/yesimwriting/652318577650696192 (lmk if this works ive never linked something to a tumblr post lol)

Series Summary: Y/n is a rising star in the most famous circus in Ketterdam because of her ability to see the future. Unfortunately for her, Kaz Brekker knows more of her backstory than he should, and he’s willing to use that to his advantage. The one thing he’s not betting on? That he doesn’t know her entire story

Chapter summary: Y/n gets a visitor before getting tricked into the most dangerous show of her life. 

Pairng: SOC x reader, Kaz Brekker x sunshine-y! Psychic! Reader 

--

My father seemed to love me more after two glasses of something amber. It was after these two glasses that he would tell me realities his inebriated self believed I needed to internalize. He’d pat my head affectionately and smiled at me as he told me that the world was a bad place. Most of his lessons are lost in my mind, but the one I remember most clearly is that there’s no such thing as a kept secret. There’s always a leak or a flaw or a factor you could not account for. He told me that if I wanted to keep a secret, I would have to decide what I was willing to risk for it. 

I know from Seria’s reaction to his presence that listening to Kaz is a risk, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take for my secret. “I don’t know what you think I am, but you’re mistaken.” It doesn’t really matter that he believes me. I have the paperwork I need to disprove him. “I have to get to my tent.” 

“The princess gets her own tent?” His words are saturated by mock casualness but I can feel his pride on how he delivered that line. 

My body is still tense from balancing over flames and his confidence only adds to my desire to unravel. I can’t get angry here. Not at him. Not with the way he grips that cane of his. “I don’t understand what--” 

“You may be able to play pretend here where no one wants to look twice at you, but I know what you are.” His stiffness leaves my skin prickling. “I know who you are.” 

I swallow back my panic. “Then who am I?” 

“You’re that king’s bastard--the one with a high bounty on her head.” Don’t back down. Even the smallest crack will confirm his story. “As long as she’s returned alive.” 

Thoughts of what my father would do to me if ever given the chance strike me with more anxiety than his presence does. “I’ve heard of the girl you’re talking about,” I admit, the lie leaving me as easily as the air leaves my lungs when I exhale. “But I’m not her.” 

“You’re not from Ketterdam, if you were you would have known who I was after you friend referred to me as Dirtyhands.” I have no defense, but I never claimed to be from Ketterdam. “You make your business claiming to be a psychic.” I am a psychic, but now is not the time to make that argument. “Elkosa is a relatively small and self efficient port kingdom, the island is nothing more than a jagged coastline barely larger than Ketterdam, but I have connections in all places.” He knows someone from Elkosa? I have to fight the instinct to move all of my weight on the balls of my feet, prepared to run. “A captain of the royal fleet told me the story of the night the King’s bastard ran into the meeting room the night before ten ships were meant to sail to Ravka.” 

He studies my reaction as I struggle to keep my expression blank. “None of that seems connected.” 

“Patience is a virtue most Saints are familiar with.” I roll my eyes. “The bastard couldn’t have been more than nine at the time, but the guards did not want to let her in. The King told them to let her interrupt. The sailor noted this because he had never made an exception to his meeting before. The girl described a nightmare to her father, a nightmare of a storm and ten dead birds. The king did not comfort her, she finished her story by saying that he asked to know about all of her dreams. She went back upstairs and the King continued the meeting as normal but the next day the King cancelled the trip.”

I remember that night as the night I realized that if I’m not careful, I’ll feel what I see in my visions. It felt like I was drowning. I felt the death of each of those men and instead of comforting me, my father nodded once like I had offered him advice and sent me back to my room. “And?” My defense is weak, my mind too lost in the memories of drowning. “Many smaller countries are superstitious.” 

“The next day the worst storm to have impacted that ocean occurred. For four nights and three days the storm continued.” 

I press my nails into my palms. “You don’t believe that I am precognitive, so that sailor’s unverified story has nothing to do with me.” 

“A princess that can see the future disappears at the same time a failing circus hires a girl who has no business in this city who claims to be able to see the future.” He adjusts his stance, taking pressure off the cane as if he’s preparing to need to use it for something else. “I am not fool enough to believe in coincidence.” 

“And I am not fool enough to crack beneath the vague threats of a man. In my experience, men always threaten with a blade when really all they’re in possession of is a butter knife. Try to drag me from here kicking and screaming, find a way to incapacitate me and put me on a ship to Elkosa, but when the King sees that you brought him a stranger he will have your head.” 

He blinks, expression hard as stone. I tense, preparing for a physical blow. “I didn’t expect you to be a half-decent liar, but I should have.” I bite my tongue to avoid resorting to something I can’t take back. Like begging. “Even if it’s in only half your blood.” 

“I am not her.” My stubbornness burns more than the need to survive. I inhale, hoping to shake the grasp of the sensation but it only worsens. The pinch of dread in my chest is heavy and familiar. A vision. 

No. Not now--not in front of him. I push against it even though I know that only makes it worse. Not now. Not now. I should be grounding myself but all I can think about is how stupid I am and how bad this situation is.

--

“I’m not an idiot, I know to be quiet. I see myself crouched somewhere dark. 

“Being defensive doesn’t make you any more intelligent.” It takes me a minute to recognize Kaz in the darkness. 

We’re somewhere small, our backs against the same wall but our shoulders do not touch. This vision is enshrouded by the feel of panic. 

This other me grimaces, but her eyes lack anger, “Remind me why I agreed to help you again?” 

“You never told me why,” he admits, “you can change your mind on participating and I can change my mind on whether or not you're more useful than your father’s money.”

Something loud crashes from behind the door we’re both staring at. “You’ll have no use for me or my father’s money if we die here.” I squeeze my hands together. 

He hesitates, “My ghost will.” 

The future-me almost smiles. “I wonder if I’ll be able to see ghost futures.” I hesitate, something strange behind my eyes. “I wonder if that can exist, if there’s a future beyond endings.” 

Future-Kaz is silent for a long second. “There should be,” he says, “for someone like you, at least.” 

I watch the way I take in his words. “You’d be there, too,” my voice is low, “your ghost at least.” I turn my head, staring at the door instead of him, “If you weren’t, I’d miss the brooding.” 

--

The vision leaves me with sweaty palms and swirling thoughts. All of my visions do that. Not all of them make me feel so confused. Apparently, he needs help and I agree to do so. At one point we’ll be pushed into a life or death situation and I won’t loathe him. 

I blink twice, forcing myself to hold onto the reality in front of me. I don’t have to agree--the future isn’t set in stone. For all I know tomorrow morning I’ll have a vision in which he kills me. 

“Are you ignoring me?” 

Shaking my head, I turn to face him. “You need help.” I don’t wait for his reaction. “You’re not here to return someone to the King of Elkosa, you’re here because you need someone that can see the future.” 

“I--” 

“It’s not that you won’t take me to Elkosa, it’s that you’d rather use my abilities for something.”

I’m confusing him again, but that’s okay. I’d rather deal with him confused than angry. “I need to know how a certain business deal of mine is going to be worth what it costs.”

He’s spent the entire time claiming he doesn’t believe in my power. Was that some kind of tactic? In the vision I saw, despite the panic surrounding the situation I didn’t feel panicked around him. The probability of that future occurring is probably low. I’ve been wrong before, the future changes too much for me to know everything. 

“That’s not how readings work,” I admit, “I don’t have that much control on them. Most of them come to me randomly. The events I see always involve me or someone I care about to a certain capacity. I can give someone a general glimpse into their future but I can’t promise I’ll see what they want. Sometimes I can see the general vision by just focusing on their energy but usually I need some physical contact for it to work.” That seems like a fair explanation. “Oh--and not all of my predictions come true, most are blurry, few are solid--the future is always moving.” 

Wait...the vision I saw where I was with Kaz wasn’t blurry. Those can be wrong, but it’s much rarer. Do I really agree to this? 

“Then maybe I should make it involve you.” His aggression has me forcing myself to stand my ground. He can threaten me all he wants but that won’t change things. “Or take the money your father would give me and cut my losses.” 

Every time I’ve purposefully destroyed a solid vision, something bad has happened. I’m genuinely considering it. “What do you need a psychic for, anyways?” 

“To get through the Fold.” 

Despite everything, I laugh. “I’ve never seen anyone get through the Fold, literally or in my visions.” 

He’s unphased by my doubt. “It’s happened.” 

I really don’t want to help him. “Well then good luck, I’m happy to part ways here.” 

I manage one step forward before he moves his cane in front of my path. I’m getting tired of this. “You’re assisting me one way or the other, whether that aid will be financial or through your services is up to you.” 

Anger pinches in my stomach the way it often does when I’m told what to do. The one thing centering me is the vision still reflecting in my thoughts. There’s no denying it--I had felt comfortable with him. There is a future in which I feel comfortable with him and I’m not sure I’ll be able to avoid it. 

“I won’t get in trouble for you,” I tell him, “The Ringmaster holds onto those indentured to him, especially the commodities that bring him profit.” 

There’s something stiff about his silence. I wonder if he’s always like this, pushing the weight of his presence onto those around him without saying a word. “When I have a goal, it is achieved. I’ll speak to him.” 

I cannot imagine a conversation I want to be involved in less. The Ringmaster and this man that Seria had labeled ‘Dirtyhands’. “I just had a vision--I saw your entire conversation and it ends with you missing an arm.” His stoic expression does not shift. “Okay, I’m aware that it wasn’t the funniest joke, but throw me a bone--you threatened to kidnap me and sell me to my father in order to extort me and I’ve been nothing but polite to you.” 

He’s quiet for a moment, something in his expression changing in a way I can’t read. “All you’ve done is lie since the moment you started to speak to me.” 

The optimist in me would like to think that his annoyance counts for banter. I shrug, feeling a little lighter than I did a second ago. I’m certainly not comfortable but I’m starting to see how to put up with the tension without letting it strain me. “Well, polite for my standards.” 

I let him brood. “You must have done well as a royal.” 

My past cuts through the peace I managed to grab onto. It’s not his fault, he has no way of knowing what the castle was like for me. I open my mouth, but I don’t know what I’m going to say. “I had my moments,” I finally settle on, hoping the echo of pain isn’t visible behind my eyes. 

I guess it doesn’t matter if he sees me bleed. He’s heartless, and I hate sympathy. 

“Y/n,” Seria’s voice is genuine anger, “You’ve turned into an idiot--first the tightrope walk and now entertaining whatever deal he’s trying to coax from you.” I love Seria, she’s the reason I didn’t die in the street when I first arrived in Ketterdam, but she sees me as a mindless child. “Whatever he told you, whatever he promised you--it’s a lie.” 

“He hasn’t promised me anything.” I need to calm her down. Once she’s calm, everything will be normal again. “And he knows.” I don’t have to turn to feel the way Seria gapes at me. “He knows who I am, so I have to do what he wants.” 

“You never have to do anything a man is forcing onto you, y/n. We’ll find a way--” 

“Seria, it’s fine,” I reach to touch her arm, “I’ll be fine, you can’t protect me from everything and you don’t have to.” 

Kaz throws a pointed glare at the man who was with him earlier. When did the stranger get here? “Boss, she’s faster than she looked, but I have what we need to get the girl--” 

“You’re late,” Kaz sighs, bored, “she’s agreed.” 

Wait--what was he going to do if I didn’t agree? “Out of curiosity, what are you talking about?” The man blinks twice, squeezing a rag between his ring-clad fingers. “You were going to use chloroform to kidnap me, weren’t you?” 

For some reason I don’t understand, the stranger gives me a look that’s a cross between sheepish and charming. “Nothing personal.” 

“Or original.” 

Seria pinches my arm. “Y/n,” she scolds, “your sense of humor is going to kill me one of these days.” 

I cringe, pulling my arm away. “When I met you, you were pickpocketing in the pleasure district, please remember that.” 

She rolls her eyes. “An attitude like that is going to leave you without a place to sleep at night.” 

I take her comment for the empty threat it is. Every other day she’s threatening to kick me out of her private trailer so that I’m forced to fight for cots or speak to the Ringmaster about my lodging arrangements. He’d give me what I want, but speaking to him feels so slimy I’d sleep in the woods before trying it. 

“Kaz.” I turn my head in time to see the girl that gave me the advice about the tightrope walker. “We need to go, he’s coming soon--you’ll do better to speak to him in the morning after she’s gone, that way he has nothing to hold over your head.” 

“Once I’m gone?” The girl had called me a Saint. I can appeal to her. “I’m not--I’m not going anywhere, I said I’d help.” 

Her eyes widen, sympathy reflected clearly in her dark irises. “There was never a version of this in which you ended up staying here.” I hear a hint of apology in her voice. “You won’t believe me, but I promise this will be better for you.” All of her pity is gone with those, replaced by something hard.

Seria responds for me, “I think you should go.” 

“What?” 

She almost smiles, but her eyes are painfully sad. “I never wanted you to be here forever. I don’t trust these people, but I trust their ability to get you out of here, even if only for a little while. Bad things are coming, and I think you’ll miss the worst of it if you go now.” 

What she alludes to is a blade in my heart. “You want me to leave you here to deal with it?” 

“Y/n, I’ve been hurt here more times than I can count--”

“No, I won’t leave y--” 

Seria squeezes my shoulder, “It’s not forever.” When she wants something, it’s almost impossible to get around it. “Besides, if I need you, you’ll see it.” 

My world feels to have lost the vibrance of color. I’ve left so much, but I let myself believe I wouldn’t leave her. I pull her into the hug. “The moment I see a vision of you in any type of danger, I’m coming back.” I hug her even tighter when she tries to pull away so that I can whisper something in her ear, “I’ll use this opportunity to leave the Ringmaster and then I’ll get you out, and together we’ll leave Ketterdam. We’ll find your child, like you always wanted to and they’ll know that they're lucky because they’re the only kid in the world to have you as a mother.” 

She squeezes me so tightly I find it hard to take full breaths. “Two,” Seria whispers, “I have two children.”

My eyes burn as her words find their way into my heart. “I love you, Seria.” 

“I love you too, my star,” she pulls away enough so that I can look her in the eye, “you don’t like being called a Saint, but I can’t think of anyone more deserving of the title.” 

Tears prick my eyes as she releases me. “I’ll find you.” 

“He’ll be coming soon,” the girl warns, “He spoke to an advisor about wanting to find you after the show.” 

No doubt to praise the fire stunt he forced onto me. Bastard. I nod once but I don’t move. I can’t bring myself to leave Seria until the girl places a hand on my elbow. 

--

Falling Angels Taglist: @glowstick-lesbian @cashlum @whatiswrongwithpeople @pass-me-jeez-it @thecraziestcrayon

[blurrycow]

Ok, but Mad IQs by IDKHOW is SUCH a Five Hargreeves song.

TIME FOR A SONG ANALYSIS, which is what I do best.

Let’s start with looking at the chorus. Come inside Twist the knife Like it's something to do I'm a voluntary victim Watch your colonial tongue I'll watch you tighten the noose I'm burning in your mad IQ

alright. Right off the bat, this song is giving off huge five vibes. Indicator- knives. Come inside, twist the knife like it’s something to do- I’m a voluntary victim. Since I am dumb I had to google what voluntary meant and it means ‘willing’. So, im getting that this sort of means that- in the scenario that this song IS him, the ‘come inside’ would be like he’s got walls, ya know? So he’s letting the person in, and they betray him (‘twist the knife’). ’voluntary victim’ could be his family- he’d willingly kill himself for his family. So he’s voluntarily killing himself by someone else for his family which is SO something he’d do. ’watch your colonial tongue, I’ll watch you tighten the noose’ not sure how this would work as him actually but we must keep in mind that not every lyric in this song was written for our short murder man because it WASNT written for our short murder man 🙄🙄 thanks dallon weekes 🙄🙄🙄 and then of course mad iq would be because he’s a fucking genius, that’s self explanatory.

ANYWAY moving on to the actual first verse because I am stupid and skip around a lot.

Oh, you will never, ever stop me 'Cause I'm never gonna quit Gonna get just what I want And I am gonna get it quick

Lose yourself inside the city Lose your mind inside a week You can lose all of your money You can find enough to sleep

In this world to survive We can live while we're alive Or we can die

oop idk why it did the line thing on the side but I’m still figuring out tumblr so whatever

looking at this first verse is like… yeah. Five Hargreeves. The entire first verse- not counting the second part- kind of sums him up. He’s not gonna stop, he’s not gonna quit. He’s gonna get what he wants as quick as possible and skeddaddlydo. For the second part I’m thinking maybe because he has flashbacks and stuff he gets lost in his own mind, and idk about those last two lines in the second part but again I shall reiterate not every song is specifically written for murder man so I have to keep that in mind ugh. Last part- I’d think he’d want to live his life to its fullest because you’ve only got so long on earth, ya know? And he’d know that as well as anyone.

cONTINUING ONTO THE SECOND VERSE AFTER THE CHORUS.

Oh, the apocalypse is coming Don't you lose all your control 'Cause you can't get into heaven If you haven't got a soul

You can never, ever stop me If you're sick or you're obscene You can bend or you can break But they'll replace you with machines

i feel like I don’t even have to explain the first part. but the second part- I’m thinking along the lines of the commission. You can die, but they’ll replace you with another moving part. And the first part of that section, also self explanatory. You can’t stop Five Hargreeves.

finally, the bridge section.

Paralyzed by the sum of your parts, oh-oh Abstracts with a human heart Captivated but I'm so confused, oh-oh Burning up in your mad IQ

His dna has been altered, he doesn’t know HOW to be a real person, society’s definition of a real person, and he So Wants to be that person but he can’t, because he doesn’t know how.

anyway this was fun thanks for reading