#tumblr didnt let me mention u im sorry :c

[fenharel-archived]

Tag!

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 20 blogs you’d like to get to know better.

i was tagged by @ferelder, thank you!! :D

Nicknames: i’m not the Biggest Fan of nicknames

Time right now: 4:09pm

Last thing I googled: checked the route to a festival :P

Favorite music artist: bastille, arctic monkeys, twenty one pilots & a couple more!

Song stuck in my head: none tbh :/ but very very low-key humming in my head: oh girls just want to have fuuuuun

Last movie I watched: i re-watched deadpool!! and i re-watched thor 2 while making a gifset, but not completly so i dont think that counts (skipped to my fave scenes shh) i’ll watch guardians of the galaxy 2 tomorrow tho!

Last tv-show I watched: sense8′s new eps are out!!!

What I’m wearing right now: sdfghjfsdhf a darth vader sweater & kylo ren sweatpants im screaming

When I created this blog: may 2016! (damn was it one year ago already?!) because i was spamming my main blog a little too much with DA & also so that i could use two url’s at the same time, i usually don’t create sideblogs, u know :)

The kind of stuff I post: this started out as DA only but then i saw little sense in continuing to split video game stuff up like this so i reblog everything else gaming related on here too :P

Do I have other blogs: my main blog & i’m co-admin at two other

Do I get asks regularly?: nah

Why did I choose my url: [clenches fist] because. i love solas so much ://// (also, i have a huuuge weakspot for that trickster god mythology aesthetic, in any fandom whatsoever, DA really knew how to get me (even if he isn’t irl but ya know!) so fensharel it is. i would do a lot of things for fenharel tho :’/)

Gender: female

Hogwarts house: slytherin

Pokémon team: uh... mystic

Favorite colors: blue, purple & green!

Average hours of sleep: currently 5-7 hours (??)

Lucky number: 15

Favorite Characters: gaming related: solas, anders, zevran arainai, morrigan, alistair theirin, dorian pavus, shepard, kaidan alenko, garrus vakarian, peebee, vetra nyx, john hancock, paarthurnax, & a couple more aaaah

Dream job: Rich

How many blankets do you sleep with: 1

i tag: @solaspride  & @pathfindcrs

[barbara-gordons-glasses]

Alright, since I can’t sleep and I’m bored, I’m going to list a few things that I hate about Tony Stark/RDJ, and his “fans”. If youre a Tony/RDJ fan pls ignore this.

Tony Stark made weapons for the military and only stopped because he was nearly killed and no

It wasn’t because he “felt bad” for those that were actually being harmed by the weapons. It was for his personal benefit

He constantly flirts with and messes with women while dating pepper

In the first IM movie, he made a transphobic joke and in an interview for his Sherlock movie, made a joke about cross-dressing

In AOU he made a rape joke, saying that if he ends up ruling Asgard, he’d reinstall pre minocta (or however you spell it)

He made Ultron, and before you start with the whole “B-b-but Wanda mind raped him!”

Firstly, wtf is mind rape? Really? For anyone who says mind rape y’all need therapy—maybe more so than Wanda

Anyways, he made Ultron and in civil war, had the A U D A C I T Y to say “we need to be put in place” as if it was the avenger’s fault that he created Ultron.

And him being the Rich white dude he was, he knew the accords wouldn’t effect him. He could still break the law without any consequences.

So he a brought a 15 year old child into battle with professionals, lied about his age, and didn’t even tell him the full reason of why he was fighting

Also? He thinks? Him and Steve? Were friends? Last I checked, they couldn’t stand each other, and had a hard time working together

So when he says “I wAs YoUr FrIeNd ToO” uh no. He’s known Bucky for 100 actual years. You guys have known each other for like 2, with 6 month breaks from working together

Homecoming, he completely neglects Peter and passes him off to happy, who ignores him as well

And then takes away the suit because Peter was trying to do his job.

You could give the excuse—“he sent government agents after the vulture!”

Yes. And toomes overpowered them by a lot so that didn’t do anything

Tony says he doesn’t want to end up like his father, but it just as emotionally distant as him

I cant even begin with that one scene in IW when he HAD THE CHANCE TO CALL STEVE AND ASK FOR HELP TO DEFEAT THANOS, BUT DIDNT. OUT OF PURE STUPIDITY AND HIS MASSIVE EGO

AND THEN WHEN HE AND HIS TEAM LOSES, HE’S??? SURPRISED???

LIKE, YEAH DUDE BECAUSE YOU HAVE PETER QUILL ON YOUR TEAM OBSESSING OVER HIS DEAD GIRLFRIEND smh

The endgame scene where he basically yells at Steve for “not being there” knowing full well that if Steve were to come out of hiding, he would’ve been arrested

Has a child five years later and then suddenly on tumblr, he’s “dad of the year” even tho he got like two scene with his kid...I mean...Stan Scott Lang

Him figuring out time travel makes no sense??

How’d he get pym particles of Hank kept his work secretive??

I’m telling you if Shuri hadn’t been dusted away, they wouldn’t have needed tony I stg

Fast forward and now he’s dead, and lemme tell you—it took EVERYTHING not to laugh at their faces.

Scott, Hank, Janet, Hope, Wanda, and Bucky, to be specific.

I mean

HE ALMOST KILLED BUCKY, KILLED WANDA’S ENTRE FAMILY, AND SCOTT JUST HATES HIM

They didn’t even wanna be there lmao

Ok, now that that’s done with, let’s move onto RDJ

I really never liked him as an actor because he has limited range when it comes to characters

By which I mean all of his characters are cocky, smart, “handsome”, and “funny”

They aren’t, but k

But now that he defended Crisp ratt for being a T*umpet supporter and a homophobe, I hate him even more now

And it’s not even because he’s standing up for ratt

It’s because he never showed this type of compassion when his female and cast mates of color were being attacked for their roles

Brie Larson got rape and death threats for being captain marvel, and only wanting more diversity/better pay for herself

Zendaya got hate because she was the first black MJ

Ratt got hate because he attended a homophobic church that supported conversion therapy

Guess which one RDJ defended?

Yup

And not only that but he’s just a really unfunny person. He’s basically Tony Stark and not in a good way

Though there isn’t a good way to be Tony Stark in the first place

NOW onto my favorite part

RDJ/Tony stocks fan club

Or “defense squad” as they call themselves, as if tonky doesn’t have enough defense already, with his suits and all

His fans ignore every flaw about his character and the actor himself

They constantly say how he’s a father figure to Peter, Shuri, nebula, Harley, when really...no

Peter has a father figure—Ben Parker

Shuri already had a father

Nebula didn’t have a good father, but in no means did they interact more than the beginning of endgame

He literally called Harley a p*say for MOURNING OVER HIS ABSENT FATHER

like haha ok Stark you can’t talk

Just because you have your own sob story doesn’t mean you can project that onto others to silence THEIR trauma

And that’s another thing—

His fans claim to say that he “portrays ptsd” more than any other avenger accurately

A C C U R A T E L Y???

Wanda and Pietro?

Steve?

Natasha?

Bucky?

Peter Parker?

Gamora?

Nebula?

Harley?

Literally anyone else but him???

What angers me the most, however, is that people will go as far as to say that Wanda is a nazi b*tch, but...

Not her brother

And I’m being dead serious—no post about “anti-maximoff” ever mentions pietro

Only wanda, as if she were an only child

Well now she is but that wasn’t the point

Their internal mysoginy hurts me both physically and mentally

I’m sorry I made it so long, but if you’d like proof of any of the points I’ve made, I’ll be happy to provide them (;

[bangtanata-blog]

Misha’s 100+ followers’ follow forever thing ft. Gudetama, a lazy ass 2 min edit done with shaking hands, suggested by Jenny and actually done after a pep talk with Heena.

I can’t really talk about how happy I’ve become after knowing about BTS and actually becoming their fan, bc some of their songs do... help, in a way. Like, 21st Century Girls, So Far Away, 4 O’Clock, Miss Right, etc--they have.... helped me, in going through some days. I just had a bad week, month, whatever, and I was a bit stupid today bc I researched some stuff that probably shouldn’t be researched... So I thought that maybe doing a positive thing will help today after hours of listening to music proven unsuccessful.

So... here it is, a list of people, both mutuals and non-mutuals. I’m sorry if my mention annoys you or bothers you, especially if we’re not mutuals. But I just want to let you know that by making these mentions, I wanna voice out how your presence in my dash actually help me a whole lot, and that is why I’m still upset that Indonesia has tumblr blocked.

bold - mutuals / normal - non mutuals / the list is not in alphabetical orders. i will mention mutuals first. / all mentioned people have something written for them. i’m sorry if some are too long or too short. jsyk i love you all.

@clairelions​ 💜 chiara 💜 thank you for following me back that day, it made me scream internally and eternally; i was really happy when i found out about it. i really look up to you! not only bc you’re older, but you’re also nice and sweet, not to mention polite, and i really aspire to be as kind as you someday. sometimes i still laugh at my mistake in sending that anon message without clicking the anon button, but it’s really sweet over how you take it so calmly and even still accepts my anonymous messages when you know that it’s me. i love your edits, i love your jikook aus, your hogwarts aus (the hogwarts aus have a special place in my heart... i haven’t forgotten that i want to write a fic for it someday!) and many others. i hope your redbubble stuffs get more purchases, and that you’ll have a great day, don’t forget to stay healthy and hydrated. ilu 💜

@yoonkia​ - So, this is the nice thing I was talking about. I like making people happy, so this is okay, I guess. The gudetama was made in a spur of moment and tbh Gudetama is a Huge Mood but anyway, thank you so much for messaging me. I didn’t think anyone would, and I didn’t even know why I made that post. I only realized I was shaking when I saw your message, thank you. (Also, I’m more eloquent now. This is actually how I talk usually!! dhklslshd i’m sorry you had to see that strange me). I actually really like seeing you on my dash, and I’m??? always happy to know we’re mutuals even tho we barely talked dshjkfjd I hope that we can talk more;; you need to know that i’m usually funny //hEH. again, thank you 💜

@jvnckles - jENNY HAHAHAHAHA I DIDNT END UP USING MY SKETCH OF TAEHYUNG IM SORRY BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE THE GUDETAMA ANYWAY WWWW 💜 Jenny jenny jenny ilu it’s such a happy coincidence when i saw you on Fahreen’s blog and when I found out you’re Indonesian I just have to follow you bc!!!! aaaa!!!! I don’t regret it one bit you’re such an angel and ilu and dont let mean pouty anons get in your way, you’re amazing and lovely and you deserve a lot of good things in this world hun 💜 i wish you the best of luck with the upcoming college days lmao i hope you dont suffer like i do 💜💜 ilu nak stay strong yah wwww

@jungcock - miaAAAAaaaa we don’t talk much but youre!! such!! a blessing!! in my dash your tags are funny your text posts are funny and your fic is great ilu even tho im worried about your health bc you’re high sometimes when i see you on my dash (it’s mostlikely a culture shock-- since we don’t really get high here. it’s basically illegal anyway) but you do you, buddy, just stay healthy and safe ok?? your writing gets me motivated to do some actual writing myself lmao i hope my weakass self can actually update something soon. ilu 💜

@kookieholic - i dont see u a lot in my dash... it’s probably a timezone thing :c but you’re a sweet sweet person and ilu and thank you for existing i hope we can be friends someday 💜

@cyphertaehyungie / @kikiwho - !!!!!! i’m still amazed that you’re... following me, tbh. I love your edits, i love your posts, you sound like such a sweet person and hdsshk yeHA thank you! 💜

@hosehok - 💜💜💜 We havent talked in a few but I always get pleasantly surprised whenever I see you back on my dash. Thank you for existing, I love you.

@kimtaehyungl - You’re a constant presence in my dash; it would seem weird for me if you’re suddenly not there, tbh. I love your posts, I love your contents and your tags and honestly thank you for brightening my day, every day 💜

@taegayhyung - I don’t see you a lot too :c A timezone thing? Mostlikely. I’m sorry we never really talk, but I’m sure you’re a gr8 person 💜

@faenam - I screamed when you followed me back, still scream when I see you on my dash. You’re so... chill sometimes and actually cool but also you’re??/ cute? I don’t know how to say this properly? Am I being creepy??? dhslsgjdks anYWAY thank you for being on my dash, I love you and your contents and I hope we can be friends 💜

@taehyungtrsh - bABY (i dont know why I said that, but oh well?) thank you for following me back and thank you for interacting with me whenever we’re able to! I’m too shy to really send anything else other than asks but you’re honestly very kind and fun and just!!! thank you, you made me feel at home and at ease when I first started this blog and you made me feel like I’ve made friends in this fandom. Thank you 💜

@hobisuki - 💜💜💜 First of all, I wish you the best of luck in your upcoming college years. I’m sure that whatever path you choose you can find something good out of it and that you’ll flourish; it’s okay even if it’s not your first choice, it doesn’t mean you’ve lost your path to a bright future. There are other pathways you can take and it’ll lead you there nevertheless. Tbh wow I can quote something from So Far Away right about now lmao but yeHA goodluck bb i’m sure you can do it!! Thank you for following me and thank you for brightening my dash, ilu 💜

NON-MUTUALS MENTION START HERE

@booptaegi - Hello! First of all, I’m sorry if this mention bothered you or anything; I just want to tell you that I love seeing you on my dash, your contents make me smile and sometimes your tags make me laugh. I love.. the taegi contents..... (I just love all ot7 dynamics but dsjkhd shhhh ilu) I hope that you’ll have an amazing day today; please don’t forget to stay healthy and hydrated, don’t forget to eat! 💜

@jhsmixtape - Hello, I’m sorry if this mention bothered you or anything, but I just want to let you know that sometimes i come in the form of an anon I love seeing you on my dash. You’re funny and your interactions with your mutuals and anons make me laugh everytime! Your tags and your text posts and others are so funny as well, so thank you, thank you, for making me laugh 💜

@yoonseok - hello, I’m sorry if this mention bothered you or anything, but I just want to let you know that I love seeing you on my dash. Your gifs and contents are top notch, and you’re actually nice and p relatable dsjkdfj I’ve seen some mean anons bothering you before, and I want to tell you that whatever they may say about you, please know that I do appreciate you and like seeing you on my dash, and that although you seem awkward and super blunt, you’re actually p sweet :’) Please don’t let the anons drag you down. You’re a kind person and you deserve many good things. Please don’t forget to eat healthy and stay hydrated (as a side note though... make sure never to take too much water again :’D), I hope you’ll have an amazing day!

@jimiyoong - Hello, I’m sorry if this mention bothers you! I want to let you know that you’re a sweet sweet person esp whenever I see your interactions with the anons, how patient and mature you are, etc. I love seeing you on my dash, and as I mentioned above, your presence actually makes me happy sometimes. Thank you 💜 I hope you’ll have a nice day, please don’t forget to stay hydrated!

@vanillalattaes - 💜💜💜💜 Okay you probably already know who I am thanks to my name HJDSGHKSJD aNYWAY yeah I can’t believe this is the Grand Reveal but hey at least it’s not a stray message like how it happened with Chiara dhsklsk Hello, it’s me, Cappuccino, and no pressure over finally knowing who I am (as in you don’t have to follow me back if you don’t want to!!!!). I’m sorry if this mention bothers you, but I just wanna let you know that I’m really really happy to have you as my friend, Fahreen. I can’t stress this enough, I’m so happy to see you on my dash, mostly it’s bc I know then that you’re healthy and safe 💜Thank you for listening to my rants whether that one time on the rabbit site or through the anonymous messages. You’re a genuinely kind person and I’m happy to have you as my friend 💜 You make me happy and feel loved and honestly you’re one of the reasons why I’m so content in staying in this bts blog and in this fandom overall. I love that we both love spicy foods, I love that we can bond over cake. You’re a sweet, sweet person and I hope that you’ll have a nice day. Please don’t forget to eat and stay hydrated! Thank you Fahreen, you’re appreciated!!!

[uygmoeb]

*insert darth vadar screaming no* i knew it dnandjsj if it isn't on the app than it is on computer lol. i cannot get away from asks being lost in space huh? tumblr why i just wanna chit chat with my santa buddy! are you jelly of us!? ok round 2 lol

oohh i actually used to take spanish classes but i kinda forgot like 90 percent of what i kmew (except from what i remember from the sjow dora lol) idk why i stopped taking my classes, maybe i lost interest? i wish i could pick up a new one but i get so lazy about everything dijsndjs thank you!! a bit sad since technically english is my 2nd lamguage so i do struggle with my first one but since i use it much more (and being born in the states cx) it is something i am more comfortable with using and express myself ya know?

right!?! like my mind boggles how they always keep improving and they ARE STILL rookies!? that's just, wow ya know? i cannot wait to see them improve more in the future! but oohh for sure, if you like so manh groups then catching up with content is just impossible! lets not get into the topic if there are comebacks happening at the same time? just chaos then lol but at the end of the day, remember to take content at your own pace! there is no rush afterall and content should be enjoyed afterall

oohhh I'm curious to see what you have made hehe im sure it is fabulous! but yeah i have been doing it for a qhile, i want to say since say 2018ish? i am excited for this year since besides i am in 3 but also i have learned how to do creations much better so I'm excited to show that off! but i do enjoy them yes, i like that with this event you can meet or make some friends with people in a fandom. espeically if you don't really interact within the fandom ya know?

yes your blog name is amazing, it is my new favorite non canon name haha xD but pish posh now, you're much more awesome sauce imo! wait i misspelled your name!? noo djshdhjs that cannot be allowed (i like to be respectful with names c:) ~moa Santa

ok so i dont feel good rn so im gonna answer this pretty quick before i go to sleep bc. yeah. im also not able to put a read more on mobile so oops i dont have it in me to go to my computer rn

i only know and remember what i do from working with a spanish speaking kitchen crew who would talk simple spanish with me and explain things i didnt understand, i miss them so much :( but ok ok can i ask what ur first language is bc im curious hskfhks

honestly.. all the rookie groups lately im like those arent. those cant be rookies? bc they all are just so amazing, and their presence on stage is unreal and matches that of some of the older groups, if they arent even better and not to mention some of the songs they come out with? masterpieces tbh idk what the companies have been feeding them or whats in the water there but damn and idk how they keep getting better and outdoing themselves each time either skfjks

im super shy actually believe it or not and i like.. cant talk to anybody thru asks if its not on anon hskfhks it took me four months of talking to someone, who even knew who i was, for me to come off anon for her 😭

ooooo so how has three been for u? do u feel like it’s a lot?? my first year and i only entered two but i saw another one i wanted in on so bad for another kpop group :( but i felt like two was enough lol but i do appreciate the way it’s let me interact with u and my person so theres that

no u didnt misspell my name hskfhks idk what we were talking about with that one but u got it right, but it’s hurting me to read and the screen feels so so bright so im leaving off my response here :( sorry if it’s shorter than normal my head just hurts a lot :((

[thecharlesdilaurentis-blog]

Maya and her part!

**WARNING SUPER LONG IM SORRY**

Recently a fan tweeted Marlene asking if mayas storyline was over and she replied saying their may be a bit more to it. So I went back and tried to see what I could make out of the maya clues and how she fits into everything. 

I always love maya and emaya but her character always seemed a bit sketchy at times kinda like alison. (remember this)

when her and emily first meet she seems REALLY interested in getting to know emily, she was asking tons of personal questions about ali and herself, answering questions with a question, and she was being super friendly and almost choosy with her words, almost as if she had other intentions when she met her. What if she was told to get close to her? (Kind of like ezra & cece already knowing who all the girls were and jenna already knowing alison) 

In S1: “The jenna thing”, maya meets spencer and when her and emily go back to her house she says “I get your connection to spencer, you both like to win.” and emily replies “well winnings great but usually if I do my best im happy with the outcome.” and maya chooses to move the topic to spencer by asking how she feels about winning which always kind of stuck out to me. Emily tells her spencer HAS to win.

I just never quite understood why Maya only really asked questions about spencer, I know you could argue she was just trying to get to know emily but throughout the episodes maya’s in we don’t really see her interested in knowing about all the liars to me it seemed like she asked about spencer only because she reminded her the most of Ali.

& then maya moves the conversation to Alison again saying how she seemed like she was always the center of attention. Then tells emily she usually runs from those girls. Em says “you don’t look like the type of girl who runs from anyone” and Maya moves the convo to something else. (WHO U RUNNIN FROM MAYA)

Also later in the night when emily turns around maya immediately goes and cuddles with her almost like she KNOWS emily was in the closet. She said she had a boyfriend & i dont think it was something she just did in her sleep. + the A alerts afterwards were right on time, something was up. 

this also happens again when they kiss in the photo booth and A steals the strips right away. & maya tells emily not to worry about it that it there was probably just no more paper & drags her away. MAYA WAS IN ON IT THE WHOLE TIME. She was used to bring em out the closet and let A use it against her. 

Also in S2: “I must confess” Maya is scene wearing the exact same tory burch boots -A ordered online. (couldnt find a pic though)

But I think somewhere along the way maya started to really develop feelings and wanted out but A/AD or someone connected to them had stuff on maya forcing her to stay in it so she chooses to run away but A gets her first and kills her before she can get far.

Now lets go back to what I said earlier about her kind of acting like Alison

In the pilot maya asks emily if shes ever smoked and em replies No. Maya says this and the way she says it for some reason really just reminds me of something Ali would say. 

& then later in the episode Spencer sees who she thinks is Ali in Mayas room (ali’s old room) 

But what’s odd is that this person is wearing the same tank Maya was wearing the whole episode.

now this can be explained in a couple ways, either:

1. maya found a blonde wig while looking through the dilaurentis house and tried it on to pretend to be ali.

2. that was really or ali or maybe an ali twin and she was talking to maya & wearing a similiar top? (this one seems too much but wouldnt be surprised if the writers went this way.)

3.maya bought a blonde wig & was really trying to pretend to be someone maybe a trick she learned from a real blonde she knew who liked to wear wigs & be someone else.

       - i’m thinking its this last one! (or i hope it is)

In S2E12: “eye of the beholder” Jason tells em & spencer that maya found some of Ali’s old things in the attic, “Like they were hidden” he thought they threw everything away but maya kept some things, maybe b/c she knew what they were for.

Another thing I wanna point out is maya has mentioned on more than one occasion (1.02 & 1.12) that she has trouble sleeping. I mean I would have trouble sleeping too if I was worried my secrets may catch up to me.

Now I know there a lot of maya theories & some have even said they think she’s A. I don’t think I could really hop on board with maya being A but I do think when mona said “MAYA KNEW” she really meant maya fucking knew, like she knew the game & knew what was going on & just how dangerous A could really be. 

Okay so, we all know there seems to be a couple different teams when it comes to PLL and their alliances. Theres, 

AD & Cece (& maybe someone else? idk yet still looking into this)

Theres the Liars 

Then theres AD’s pawns (Jenna, Noel, Lucas, Shana, Alison (sometimes), Garrett, Mona etc.)

Well i think maya started off as one of these pawns but like all the people above at some point they wanted out and like I said above its likely so did she. 

It’s possible that maybe Ali and Maya knew eachother prior to her disapperance maybe they met on vacation… at cape may.

I saw this picture when I searched up maya clues on google and I almost screamed! I think this Analyzing A tumblr acct found it so i’ll put her link:

http://analyzinga.tumblr.com/post/44225287853/major-clue-possible-spoiler-alert

Could this mean this is Maya’s unnamed brother? Did she also hang out with Ali, Cece, & Melissa during that summer? Or was she scared of them like she mentioned to emily about attention seeking girls like Alison?

Now I heard from twitter it may be fake but still why would they make the mistake of putting it in the credits? Idk I just think it would be a nice twist for maya to have a deeper connection to Ali than just living in her house. 

UPDATE: MARLENE SAID WE’RE MEETING AN UNKNOWN RELATIVE OF MAYA’S! Some people meationed that reporter Aria went off on in 7.12 may be her brother but I couldn’t find a pic and I didn’t wanna sit through hulu commercials to find out so if someone finds the pic reblog it cause I wanna knowwww!

I mean we find out they had to have known each other either way or at least met before b/c they were both staying in the kahn cabin around the same time!

Also when Ali and Maya’s body are found the scene is so similar they even play the same song.

I think at first Alison gave Maya the idea to fake her death & Noel, Garrett, & Jenna helped her carry it out. 

Marlene also posted this pic on insta w/ 2 dolls that w/ the hashtag #emison but to me the 2 dolls look more like ali and maya then ali and em. Idk I just think there’s alot more to their relationship than we know right now. 

Now lets talk about the night mayas body was presumably found:

Maya trys to call emily but she cant get service so it never goes through, I don’t think this was maya b/c her phone was already stolen by this point. I think A just was trying to distract emily to mess with hanna.

Jumping ahead to when Mona falls off the cliff, we get a zoom in on her watch that says its 12am. The girls then go back to their houses and the cops have a body they think is Mayas.

BUT we later see this video of Maya at the kahn cabin at 1:14am

So are we just really gonna believe it took the liars OVER 1hr & 30m to get to thier houses?? B/c maya had to have got kidnapped and then dragged over to emilys back yard from the cabin and murdered. Which just in my head doesn’t add up with the timeline.

In addition to this I noticed when Maya gets pulled out of the cameras view it doesn’t necessarily mean she was captured by A, I think theres a good chance it was Ali who pulled on her to take her out of view and talk to her. We know Ali was staying there too so maybe she already knew where the cameras were and didnt wanna take any chances being seen seeing as this was before A supposedly knew Ali was alive. 

Now lets talk about after her “Death”:

We find out Maya went to the kahn parties often and met holden before, she was also friendly with Jenna, we see her get into a car with garrett the night she died (But we know he didnt kill her because he was arrested at 12am) & its when Nate (lyndon) is introduced and he is accused of being the one who killed Maya. 

Nate never openly says he killed Maya, in fact some of the things he says when he tries to kill paige kind of indicate he thinks emily has something to do with her death. 

He says “Im gonna do to you, what you did to me. Im gonna take someone from you & you are gonna watch me do it.” 

Its also been speculated that Maya was involved in the night em dug up Ali’s grave b/c they used her bottle of pills to drug her (which was also prescribed after she died) & flashbacks she remembers having + jenna lies to her saying she found her on the street drunk when spencer asks why she lied she says b/c she’s protecting a friend.

This was also one of the flashbacks she remembers having,

LIKE COME ON WHO ELSE WOULD WRITE THAT???

Most of me really does believe Maya did end up really dying sometime later before the end of season 3 or in the beginning of season 4 

The girls do find this carved into the dollhouse in S6 maybe AD found maya & took her to the doll house to be his Ali for a while before Mona got there.

But idk i’ve also read alot of theories w/ extra clues and reasons she could indeed still be alive helping out emily and hiding from AD or might even be bethany young herself. So theres that lol. I’m just excited to know that Maya still is relevant b/c her character had so much potential, hopefully mar doesn’t fuck it up!!

Reblog & tell me what you think, do you think maya’s still alive or dead? & if she wasn’t the person in the body bag in 2.25 then who was? 

[imsarabum]

Responses to {Part 15} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^

ALSO I have included asks I received to do with IWSY in the hours leading up to before I posted it because there was a few! So if you sent in an ask to do with IWSY and I didn’t post it - it will be in this post!

@kpopppimagines said: *Looks at clock, notices time, starts to dance strangely and do weird jazz hand motions* Wooooooooo yeahhhhhhhh! So excited! Xx 🙌🏼🙌🏼💕

Ahhh I really hope you liked the chapter love!

Anonymous said: Hope the new chapter will be as great as the rest!! Really looking forward to what direction the story will go in❤️❤️

I hope it lived up to your expectations :D

@mocking-butts said: I'm probably way too excited for this chapter because holy moly i need more!!! Honestly one of my favorite fanfics i love it <3

I really hope you enjoyed it my dear ^^ Thank you very much!

@audreymv said: I wanna kill Yoongi like mate I UGH I CANT. Like why and now Jungkook cant tell her his secret just omg everything os crashing down. I love this so mich but Yoongi he is ooooo on my list in this fanfic. Loving it so far 😘😘😘

Just when he was about to tell her :c How can he tell her now?! heh ^^ Thank you so much for reading it!

Anonymous said: Wow, new chapter of IWSY was really good! I'm so glad to finally get some backstory on the reader, but I kind of feel bad for Jungkook now.. Because how will the reader react when he tells her? And Yoongi's going to the ball so she'll recognise him.. Ahhh! Well, I suppose there's nothing to do but patiently wait. Stay healthy and keep up the hard work! Thanks

I’m so happy you thought it was good! I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how she will react when/if he tells her ^^ lol Thank you so much for reading and I hope you stay healthy too!

@loverofotome said: 😱😱 IT'S THEIR FATE TO BE TOGETHER 😱😱 I was definitely not expecting that. Yoongi seems to think there's something special about her and I can't help but wonder what that is. Ahhh! I love your writing and it's so good, as always. I can't wait until next week!

IT WAS DESTINY~~ hehe ^^ I wonder what’s so special about her? I guess we will have to wait to find out :D Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have an awesome day :)

@doubletroublesince1994 said: NOPE. NEVER EXPECTED THIS. BUT THIS. HOW DARE YOU. OMGGGG WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOU LEFT ME WITH A CLIFFHANGER EVEN IF IT ISN'T ONE?????? UGH I LOVE YOU.

I am very very sorry c: hehe~ I love you too and thank you very much for reading the chapter!!

Anonymous said: oh my gosh, yoongi.. what he did was so cruel. and that's why he's looking for y/n... i'm really curious about when and what's going to happen when y/n finds out jungkook is a vampire

Why did he do it though? And what’s the reason he is looking for her? Is it to just dimply finish what he began? If so - is he going to go looking for Sid, too? ;o SO many questions! haha ^^ Thank you for reading the chapter!

@omelys-space said: IT ALL CONNECTS GOD DAMN! Like how amazing is this update 😍 I am honestly excited for every update you post and they never let me down   Thank you ❤

I’m so happy that you can see it all connecting and beginning to come together to make a bigger picture! There is still much more to come :D hehe Thank you very much and it makes me happy that you said I never let you down. Thank you!

Anonymous said: Honestly this fan fiction is one of the best things I've ever read. I hate reading, but this story has changed my perspective about it! IWSY is also the first long fanfic that I've read heh~ I just want you to know that I think you are a really good writer and the stories that you make are amazing! I am in love with this story!❤️❤️  -Ro (you don't know me but I'm gonna put my name anyway☺️)

Hi Ro! :D Ahhh thank you so much for your wonderful words, I’m smiling so much! And thank you also for reading my series and I’m so happy that you’re enjoying it ^^

@deangetoutofmyspleen said: IM S C R E A M I NG I DIDNT EXPECT THAT AT ALLLLLL FUCJSKSKKFMFMGMDMAMZMXMXKSK I LOVE

YAAAAAY I’m glad I could surprise you! I think a lot of people thought it was either going to be Yoongi or Jungkook that had something to do with her parents death. But in a way - they both did, I guess :D Thank you so much for reading the update!!

@im-so-scared-aaaa said: Ok, I'm suppose to be studying, but now I'm shooked ^^ Thank you😿

I hope you managed to get back to studying you naughty child! c: Haha thank you so much for reading it and I hope you enjoyed it too!

Anonymous said: That curveball thoooooooo I don't want jungkook to be hurt :"( how is he ever going to tell reader about his secret like this 😰😰😰😰

I know :( How could you ever tell someone that after what they just told you? :(

Anonymous said: OMG This chapter give me chills!!! It's amazing, I am loving how the plot starts to thicken ... things are about to get a while lot more intense and complicated isn't it ?!😏 I honestly can't wait for the update , thank you so much for updating every week. I Love you and you writing so much❤

I’m so happy I could give you chills c: And...it may possibly get more complicated and intense from this moment on...yes c: Thank you so much for reading and I love you too! Have an awesome day :D

Anonymous said: Ah this chapter was so angsty... I never read angst but You did so well!! Ta! x  U.K. Anon :)

I do enjoy writing angst a lot :) It’s been a hot minute since I’ve written something very angsty since my Who Are You? series! Thank you so much fellow U.K anon!

@moonlighthollow said: I somehow new that her parents were killed by a vampire But Holy shit it's yoongi He's scary af 😐 Poor brother😭 Poor girl😭 And poor jungkookie😭 It was good as always tho😅😊

Idk about you but evil Yoongi gives me such a sexy vibe isfskdgksjng lol Thank you for reading the update and I hope you have a wonderful day babe!

Anonymous said: I don't know if I'm shivering because it's cold in my room, or because of ch 15 of IWSY... Oh my fxxking god!!!! I mean, there were hints, so the plot doesn't come as much as a surprise, but the writing style had me sucked into the story completely! Loved it! 👏🏻💕

I am also shivering but my reason is that it is DEFINITELY cold right now TT I want it to be summer already I’m so DONE with the cold lol Thank you very much for reading the update and I hope you’ll enjoy the future chapters too!

Anonymous said: I LOVE YOU AND WRITING SOOO MUCH!!! ❤❤❤

I LOVE YOU TOO THANK YOU BABE! :D

Anonymous said: Hi Sara!! I'm the anon that had that super late 7:45 class, so I couldn't read IWSY a couple weeks ago when it updated. ANYWAYS, I usually post some kind of ask to you every update you have, but the past couple weeks I haven't been able to because of school T.T SO, I wanted to finally message you again and tell you how WONDERFUL IWSY is! Not gonna lie, it is my ALL TIME FAVORITE FIC that I have ever found on Tumblr! Like the last couple chapters with the smut.. WOO DAMN GIRL. (cont.) Usually I read the smut for the smut (lol), BUT when I read those chapters, I was so engrossed in the story that I wanted to know what was going to happen next more than reading more smut X3. AND THEN YOU HAD TO COME OUT WITH THIS NEXT CHAPTER AND HOT DAMN. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. IVE BEEN TRYING TO GET MY FRIENDS TO READ IWSY SO THAT I CAN TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT BUT NO ONE WILL LISTEN TO ME >.< Anyways, keep up the good work! You keep throwing curve balls my way gah damn. (2/2) - 7:45 anon

Hello 7:45 anon! That’s okay, I completely understand and you don’t have to apologise or explain yourself because school/work is important and I’m glad you’re focused on your studies! But thank you so much for reading and catching up with the series, and I’m really happy that you’re liking it ^^ Awwww I hope once of your friends reads it too so you guys can talk about it with each other! That’s so cute haha c: Thank you so much and I hope you have a great week :D

Anonymous said: BRRROOOOOOOOOHMYGOD WHAT THE FUCK HWAT THE FUCK WHAT THE F U C K OOOHHHH MY GOD!!!! pls tell me the next chapter is the charity ball I'm READY for the action the drama GIRL PLS I cannot wAIT GIRL!!! That chapter had me yelling at the top of my lungs 😱😱😱

*giggles* thank you so much for reading! The ball will come soon - I promise! Just hold on tight a bit longer :D I hope you enjoyed it my dear!

@fashionkilla124 said: I love you. That I won't stop you story just stopped my heart. I honestly knew yoongi had something to do with but when I found out yoongi killed her parents I was like NOOOOI NOT MY BABY YOONGI AWWW LAWD TAKE THE WHEEL PLEASE. I cant wait for next week I'll probs have a heart attack next chapter

Awh I love you too :D hehe~ Evil baby Yoongi what is he doing :c lol thank you so much for reading the update and I really hope you’ll look forward to next week too!!

Anonymous said: Omg poor Sid 😞 he was only four...DAMMIT Yoongi

I know :( Poor Sid indeed - but I wonder why Yoongi did it...;)

Anonymous said: Damn in the span of like four days (not including the hours they're at work) they've managed to christen every room the house, didn't you say there were like 13 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms, not to mention the kitchen, living room etc.?? Damn they got busy 😏

LOLOLOL they got busy indeed c: Haha it was more so meant as a sexually comedic idiom, but if it’s possible it’s possible! lol I hope you enjoyed the chapter my dear :D

Anonymous said: BISH. I'm jungshook rn. I can't. I love you. But why you play with my emotions like this? I love this story. I love you. I love Jungkook. I love the way chapter 15 snatched my edges and left them at a bus stop in Miami. You're the best. ~With love, New Kookie Anon

Hello new kookie anon! lol Jungshook~ I think everyone becomes a little Jungshook from time to time c: I love you too my dear!! I hope you got home safely from the bus stop in Miami xD thank you so much for reading the update!

Anonymous said: OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK AHHHHHH SARA OMG I CANT FUCKING EVEN OF COURSE YOONGI KILL ED Y/NS PARENTS AND NOW WANTS HER BLOOD. OMG OF FUCKING COURSE. I NEED TUESDAY TO COME BACK HOLY SHIT I'M SCREAMING SARA. Y DO YOU DO THIS TO ME. I CANT EVEN THINK CLEARLY THIS FUCKED ME UP THIS MADE MY DAY 10000X BETTER BECAUSE I HAD A SHITTY DAY. SO THANK YOU I LOVE YOU BUT FUCK OMG I AM SHOOK

OOOOOH BUT WHY DOES HE WANT HER BLOOD?! That’s the most important question ;D lolol I’m so glad I could make your day a little less shitter though c: I love you too and thank you so much for reading the new chapter my dear!

Anonymous said: OMG MY HEART! THIS WHOLE CHAPTER WAS JUST SO HAJSKCLZPAVAVAFUCABAKDLXLXNAL(ノﾟДﾟ)

AHHHHH I HOPE THAT’S A GOOD THING! I hope you enjoyed it ^^

Anonymous said: Oh mai gawdddd!!! Sara you're such a good writer! Part 15 of IWSY gave me the major feels!!!! Poor kookie... Halfway through part 15, I already knew what was going to happen before I read it, but you're so skilled that you still managed to make it sad T-T. I can't wait for part 16!!!

Ahhh thank you so much my darling :) You’re too kind to me! Thank you very much for reading the update and I hope you enjoy the next chapter as well!

Anonymous said: I cant believe Vampire evil yoongi was looking for y/n since back then ONG GET A LIFE LMAO love your serie💜

But remember that he has been locked up for the past 13 years! So he has had a lot of time to plan c: Thank you so much for reading and enjoying it my love ^^

Anonymous said: 😭😭 I wish it's a happy ending for Jungkook and Y/N, in the "I Won't Stop You" series. I love you Author-nim!

I wish for that too my dear! I love you too and thank you for reading my series *hugs* Have a wonderful day!

@jynxy24 said: SARA SARA SARA SARA SARA!!!! WHEN WILL JUNGKOOK TELL Y/N?! ARGHHHH YOU ARE PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS! LIKE JUST WHEN HE WAS ABOUT TO TELL? COME ON!!! This is just like when I found out Who Are You was a dream. T.T But i still love your writing Sara! Great chapter today, stay awesome! 👅👅

But how can he tell her straight away now right after she just dropped that bombshell on him?! So many questions hehe :P I hope you enjoyed the chapter anyway my dear ^^ I hope you have a wonderful week and thank you so much for reading!

@lostheretics said: i thought they were going to the fundraising ball in part 15 but they had a deep talk instead asdfghjkl kill me rn bc y/n's secrets omg😭😭 iM STILL CONFUSED WHAT's THE SPECIAL THING THAT YOONGI WANTS FROM HER

Deep, heart to heart pillow talks are my fav thing in the world *feels very soft at this thought* ahhhh :c lolol And I guess you’ll just have to wait to find out why he wants her so badly! Hopefully, someone will be able to tell Jungkook too, before it’s too late...heh ^^ Thank you for reading my love and I hope you’re enjoying the story!

Anonymous said: oh my fucking god :( i hope y/n wont abandon jungkook once she found out he a whole dracula :(( oh my god no but then ill love that because I LOVE PAIN but no dont do it LMAO WAIT WILL Y/N RECOGNIZE YOONGI AT THE BALL HOLY FUCKING SHIT

I hope she won’t either :c He deserves to be loved since he is so capable of loving now! You masochist hehe (fucking same tho) c: Thank you so much for reading my dear!

Anonymous said: SO YOONGI HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR Y/N FOR YEARS NOW??? IT SEEMS LIKE Y/N'S PARENTS PROTECTED HERSMJWHFJD WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT ABT HER IS SHE SOME TYPE OF VAMPIRE GOD LIKE SOMEONE EVEN MORE SUPERIOR THAN JUNGKOOKS FAMILY?? IS THAT WHY YOONGI WANTS HER SO MUCH???

Well if you remember, Yoongi has been locked up for 13 years but has now only escaped with the help of Namjoon, Hoseok and Seokjin! Hehe I hope you enjoy how the story unfolds c: Thank you so much for reading!

Anonymous said: OMG THE BACK STORY I'M CRYING how will y/n react if jungkook tell her the truth bruh I can't take the suspense AND ALSO IS THE BALL NEXT WEEK???? I WANNA SEE HER DRESS OMG

In the story, Y/N and Jungkook are currently talking when it is Friday night - so the ball is on the Saturday; which is the next day! c: And yessssss! I wonder what type of dress Taehyung and Jimin are creating...I think it will be a masterpiece~ Thank you for reading my series! :D

@semisweetsuga said: MY HEART. SARA MY LOVE YOU HAVE HURT ME BUT I'M OKAY WITH IT BECAUSE THAT UPDATE WAS BEAUTIFUL. I LOVED IT SM GOOD JOB!!

I’m sorry for hurting your heart Koto :c Please forgive me ahhhhh. I love you a lot and thank you for always being so fucking awesome ^=^

@manibbunny said: i am sure that Y/N will be understanding of jungkook when he tells her about him being a vampire. she will get sad but she loves him and she knows he's different and won't do something like that ever again. loved the new chapter btw!

I hope she is understanding of Jungkook too! I think if you really love someone and have feelings for them like that - love can always find a way and triumph. So I hope that’s the case for Jungkook and Y/N too! Thank you for reading the update my love and I hope you enjoy the rest of the series too!

Anonymous said: Oh yoongi's been after OC since she was young.. Loved the chapter. I'm even more excited to find out what's special abt the OC. I wonder also why jungkook (and taehyung) dont know what's special if yoongi knows? (You dont need to answer that ofc. just me voicing my thoughts while reading). Looking forward to next tuesday~

Don’t worry - I always love to read people’s thoughts so think and say all you want! But yeah, you’re right - I won’t ever say whether is someone is wrong or right :3 Jungkook and Y/N will be talking with Taehyung and Jimin before the ball when they go to get her dress (which is the next day in the story if you remember ^^) So I wonder if something will happen then?! c: Thank you for reading and enjoying my series dear ^^ It means a lot to me!

@animeimmortal said: wow. Just wow. Like I am so curious as to how this is going to turn out but right now I'm just amazed omg

I hope you’ll enjoy how the story unfolds and pans out in time! Thank you for reading the update beautiful ^=^

@taekookiesandcream said: Sara, my love, part 15 was amazing! You keep out-doing yourself!! You're so so talented and I want you to know your very appreciated! Also, I feel really bad for only speaking to you when you update lol, I'll try and speak to you more often, pinky promise 🙋🏼💕

Ach, thank you so much my little flower ^^ And no oh my goodness don’t feel bad about doing that! You can always talk to me whenever you wish - my DMs are always open! (although I may not be able ot reply straight away due to work and Uni etc~ I will reply eventually lol!) Thank you so much dear :D

Anonymous said: SHIT JUST GOT REAL

YOU BET YOUR DAMN ASS IT GOT REAL HOHOHOHO

[lhassinu]

I got tagged by @brewka like eons ago and for once this is not a meme that just got buried in my likes but i..i honestly had such a hard time choosing?? and im still not completely happy with it but oh well it was so interesting to think about it and so much fun to do tho! thank you very much for taggin me!!!! <333

Me in 3 characters:

Todd Chavez (Bojack Horseman) aka of fuckin course 

Miyako Inoue (Digimon Adventure 02) aka ‘are you still relating to frikin digimon from your childhood?!’ no! ..maybe.. ......yes....... yes i am.

Yvan (L’Art) aka the one for which holioc severs all ties with me because she shares one of the masterpieces of the French drama with me and i make it into a meme.......................... imsorry pls dont leave me

some explanation and honorable mentions under the cut cuz this is just ShameTM but before that i tag @ghostspies @holioc @imaginesharks @mouthface @serpuns-a-lot @trinuska @nomadicplanets @vanishshi @velvetbaguette @aseriesofgayevents and anyone who wants to! (((im sorry for tagging so many people you dont have to read/like my shitty post i just really love this meme and wanna see what people do with it! and make it more or less fandomy thrash as you feel it!!! you dont have to do it if ya dont want to obviously!)))

okay so lets get this trainwreck rolling! everyone managed to explain it in few lines, not me, i just want to share personal info with strangers on the internet! :D

>>>Todd oh my god Todd, this goofball was the first one i came up with and the only one who actually stayed there until the end. i didnt relate to him THAT much in the first two seasons, i mean i did but im Very against drugs so i didnt really think about it but the 3rd one oh myyy it all just clicked... 

ok so almost the same age and obviously the childish side, that goes without sayin -_-

i try my best to be upbeat and excited (i have way too much love in my heart and i just cant contain it like a frikin 5 year old gddamnt)

pretty friendly too? and tryin to avoid conflict so much im unable to decide anything

WELL MEANING but fuckin up in the end ah ha ha.. yea.. 

lazy slacker too (though not yet to the point of living on a stranger’s couch for 5+ years welp we never know what future brings right) and im more than able to fuck up all my progress just cuz i got addicted to tumblr a videogame haha another thing that totally didnt happen to me right

and!!! the asexual part!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’ve binge watched the last two BH seasons and i planned to do the same for the 3rd one.. and then todd acted like he did and it was just hitting so close to home (lmao bonus points for sad irl stuff happening that got me waaaay more sensitive to ace stuff n generally realizing im ace) and i just Related so much but at the same time?? why would he be actually ace lol kao dont be stupid they would either play it off for laughs or just forget to deal with it.. I literally had to stop watching for a few weeks because i was just so sure he wont be ace but i didnt want to be heartbroken by one of my fav shows. AND THEN THEY DIDNT FORGET AND PUT THAT BEAUTIFUL DIALOGUE IN THE *FINALE*  ALL RESPECTFUL AND NOT AT ALL JUST A JOKE just.. validation ;u; 

>>>welp that got emo although i tried not to, lets focus on not spilling every detail about my personal life in the next one~ Miyako! 

she is so!!!! Excite!!!!! :D and always ready to cheer up her friends (tho she cant actually deal with anything worse than “im feeling a little unmotivated today :c”) 

she cant hide her emotions AT ALL!!  and so expressive!! is she sad? you bet your ass she will complain! but also she is always okay with the others doing the same although she is pretty jealous of people who CAN pretend everything is okay (at this point i could start using the ‘I’ pronoun instead of she/her lmao) 

all these random english catchphrases lmaooo i’ve managed to chill now but i still use some french/english ones in the irl talk you can pry ‘bref’ from my dead cold hands

not the Worst Fashion Disaster but close.. especially when left to her own devices in the digital world................. oh and glasses!

when stressed she tends to overreact and do the opposite of what she should be doing 

her ideal future was eating lotta cake, if this isnt relatable! (okay there was some deeper meaning but shoosh)

crushes...on everyone.... so easily..... also Painfully obvious :’’’D

my digisona is also this Intense girl with a serious digimon keeping her outta trouble 

>>> and Yvan! again im so sorry to every French person (see? i used a capital F that shows i mean it!) reading this cuz im probably just horribly disrespecting everything about this play... 

but just the way he introduced himself i was like “if this isnt me” from the start!  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

stressed desperately lookin for somethin he JUST HAD A SECOND AGO and “je suis un garçon.....uhmmmmmmm...sympatique?” 

Conclusion: Yvan is relatable

tbh i feel v much like 80% his lines (”Si cela lui fait plaisiiiiiiiir” or “Calme-toi est la pire chose que tu puisses dire à quelqu’un qui a perdu son calme” hONESTLY)

and his self esteem and the way he talks about himself :’)

trying his best to stay neutral and help calm both sides, failing miserably

white lies are good for your health (spoilers: they are not and we never learn)

generally has no idea how to deal with bullshit (press A to run away press B to try more useless talking) 

pls dont leave the decision on me pls i dont want to have an Opinion

he forgives every bad treatment in a span of going down the stairs

im worried ill relate to his professional situation :’D

oh and hypochondriac 

OversharesTM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cries all the time which is abnormal for a boy of his age

Honorable mention goes to!!! some more digimons because apparently i mostly relate to stuff im currently being hyped about

Emil Nekola (YOI) because of his ~~Czech~~ nationality, fondness of hugs, positive friendly attitude and the fact that this boy has not a single clue whats going on my dude he has not a slightest idea my guy he is just confused 24/7 (and doesnt understand there is drama going on or drama in general) 

Joe (Digimon Tri) lmao i wish, he is more like goals tbh but still, that dialogue with Mimi hit waaaaayyyy too close to home for comfort...

Gazimon (Digimon) because i, too, am a lazy furry who is hecka supportive of her friends and just wants to spend all her time sunbathing/ fucking on computer/eating

i had some more but i didnt write them down and forgot..

[pass-the-awksauce]

Venting right quick

Ok.... 

So first off i’d like to say that im sorry that I haven’t been here in a minute... life has distracted me by punching me in the face... so tbh i was too depressed to do much of anything, let alone troll tumblr for all its insane beautiful glory. But today I return because I need to vent about some shit that happened today 

So basically at the end of the year my school does these awards and they give out shit to the best seniors in the class and I am BY FAR one of them... long story short i didnt get shit- even nominated for shit. and i had to watch a whole bunch of people who DIDNT do shit get one and I was just like.... wut? i dont understand. dont get me wrong A LOT of people deserved this award but honestly what the actual fuck. 

I am like... the FIRST BLACK FEMALE leader to have an impact at my school program. I am single handedly the ONLY reason that this school gave a FUCK about diversity and inclusion and minority students. not to mention im a fucking baller. so like im not saying that anyone there didn’t deserve it, but i’m also saying that I deserved to be up there in addition to everyone too. 

im not even sure why this is bothering me this much... like i guess it just hurts because it solidified the fact that my last 4 years here were a waste because they didn’t give a fuck about anything that i did at all. The only thing im thinking of that couldve prevented me from getting one of the awards was my drinking accident. and the only way i would believe that is if that were the only reason I didn’t get one... in which case thats my b. But i honestly don’t think thats the case. 

if that IS the case, however, that’s also fucked up only because i made one mistake and at the end of the day what I gave to the program was way more than the one mistake i had. But you know what? this is not a reflection of me- this is a reflection of them. I went through all of those award winners- and there wasn’t a singler perosn of color, no one was gay, no one was of a lower SES. Just all privileged white kids who were good at their sport and maybe did a good thing or 2 along the way... 

No people of color, no diversity at all period point blank... just nothing to be seen. I honeslty couldnt even go to the event today because i knew that if i had been there i wouldve been so upset and terrible to everyone and I made a call to just be mature and not show up cause i cant be happy for something that i didnt get that i deserved. But i guess the award only matters as much as the person giving it... and these people obviously don’t know shit so like, why should I care right? 

but i do care... and i have no idea why. maybe because its senior year and for whatever reason I thought people in this community respected me but i guess I was wrong and maybe it was my fault for not going somewhere where people understood me or maybe it was my fault because im really as bad of a leader and person as they say I am. either way having this conversation is so painful because i’ll just never know the answer- ever. 

whatever. i think im jsut mad because im realizing in 4 years, the supposed best 4 years of my life, no one gave an actual fuck about me. and for whatever reason i just expected this year to be the year that made it all make sense and instead this year shit on me so hard and just made me question what the whole fucking point was. 

and thats what scares me the most, ladies and gents.... that there was no point to this suffering and pain, that i wasn’t a good person, and in fact i’m the one who is just the terrible leader, and the unapproachable, and that all of this- my entire life, was for naught. there was no point in any of it because i was just destined for this melancholy, unfitting life that i was given. 

....

yikes. that was a dark tangent- i promise im not depressed, im just sad because im trying to piece together my life and nothing is making any sense and nothing that gave my confidence gives me anything anymore and there just... there has to be that point where it all makes sense- there has to be a reason that (to use olivia pope as an example) that we aren’t in vermont and we cant make jam and she cant be with fitz there just has to be some type of point. 

what is the point? if you find out please let me know.... 

also, to the school that snubbed me- F U C K. Y O U.