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starry-bi-sky · 8 months ago

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I'm so annoyed. @kingcrow01 tumblr ate your ask about Danny's opinion on the League. tumblr i pressed 'save draft' why didn't you sAVE DRAFT.

ANyways I'm making a post instead. For everyone else, the ask was in summary:

What was Danny's opinion on the League now that he's left it? If he missed the familiarity of it, if he recognized the cult-like behavior inside it, and if he now detested his grandfather.

And to answer (again, grrr): It's complicated! We love complicated <3. Yeah, Danny does miss the familiarity of the League, it was still his home for the first ten years of his life and he has a lot of memories there. Plenty of good along with the bad, and while he's less homesick than he was when he was 10, it still hits him like a truck at random intervals.

Sam, Tucker, and Jazz are great, and he likes the Drs. Fentons enough that he's contemplated murdering Vlad for his meddling, but if he wants to eat the same food his mother used to make him and Damian, he has to do it himself and he can't get the taste right. No one knows arabic so he speaks it to himself because he doesn't want to forget his mother tongue, and he has a few books too. Frankly? He genuinely misses training.

Getting to use Sam's gym helps with his restlessness, same with training with Maddie, but he has no one on or above his level to go against other than his mother. And he only sees her twice a year at most. He knows that he's getting stagnant and he fucking despises it like a bad itch he can't scratch.

He feels conflicted about missing the League, however, since by now he recognizes the flaws and what was wrong with it, and he recognizes that it was cult-like. But even that is kinda, hrm, complicated? If this was a fic I would be able to go better into depth about what he has and hasn't unlearned because cult deprogramming is hard and Danny's doing most of this on his own.

Sam, Tucker, and Jazz have helped with the more obvious stuff: like the ecofascism, the disregard for human life, his emotional constipation; the more obvious stuff that shows in his behavior and personality. But none of them are professionals nor do they actually know the full extent of what Danny's life in the League was like. They only have snapshots since Danyal is very tight lipped about it. So they can only help with what they see themselves through Danny's behavior or word of mouth.

But in summary: He sees, for the most part, what's wrong with the League and disagrees with some of the stuff they do now. But he's very conflicted, and trying to dissect his feelings on the League confuses him. His protests about it whenever Sam and Tucker joke about it have at this point become mostly empty (altho it still causes him some discomfort), and its an inside joke between them three.

As for Ra's? Despises him. If only because Ra's wanted him to kill his little brother -- thinking about his motives with the League confuses Danny, cognitive dissonance and stuff, -- a lot of his hatred stems from "He wanted me to fight my baby brother to the death. I destroyed my relationship with Damian because of him, I had to fake my death and leave my home, and I will never meet my father or see my brother again because of him. Fuck that guy."

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #dpdc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #danyal al ghul au #starry asks #demon siblings au #danny's opinions on the league is rather complicated but he knows that some of the stuff that happened inside was wrong. and while he's #always known that his upbringing wasn't normal -- and he took pride in that -- its only in recent years that he's learned that #this was a *bad* thing. that his upbringing was wrong. he's still kinda grappling with that.#danny's homesickness hits the worst when he's patching himself up from a ghost fight alone. stitching up his throat in his ghost form when #he gets hit with a deep child-like grief and the unwitting 'i wanna go home'. he's exhausted and sad and hurting and fucking *tired*#good mom talia al ghul supremacy. she's trying her best.#but yeah sam and tucker did a lot of good for Danny by becoming his friend. he's a lot better off than he would've been if he remained alon #'a child not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth' type of stuff. danny's aware of this and is incredibly grateful #for sam and tucker. and as a result can and will get violently protective. his moral code on killing can be summed up as: i dont kill bc i #value human life and it's inconvenient. but i will do it without remorse if i must.#vlad is only still alive because he's incompetent. but the ice is thin #catch me about to make an incorrect quotes post about this au. i am so close.

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screechingfromthevoid · 4 months ago

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@disastertourwaterdeepedition

Sorry for the weird fucking post but like tumblr straight up ate your ask?? I had to search and screenshot from my email??

Its like super fine I love big rants and big feelings (especially about the blorbo of the month).

Whoa buddy if you wanna talk about a rant. This got so long I'm putting it under a read more.

I'm not sure any of this is above board conscious thought process. When he looks to Orym, when he thinks about how he feels about Orym, I think Dorian, king of compartmentalizing, gets a rush of all three of the things in the post. He gets a little too lost in thought looking at the way Orym's hair now tries to curl against his ear or how well tailored the armor is to his body, he first gets hit with the Will guilt. Then he thinks about "ohmygodtheresawaron" and he'd shovel all of that down. Because its not time to think about Orym and him. But he knows by the way Orym watches him "sleep". He knows by the way Orym refused to be princess carried in Aeror. (Seriously dude Dorian princess carries everyone. It would have been less suspicious if you let it happen). He knows because Orym didn't see his husband when they were in Zephrah. But when he dares himself to actually think about a possible future together, he uses the big three to shove it down. And no, he has no clue that Orym thinks he doesn't return his feelings. (Wow you're right. Pronouns are hard)

Lol to finally answer your question: I'm not sure! Because the thing is! Orym has gone down twice in a battle with Dorian there! And honestly if Orym being on death's door doesn't make either of them confess, i'm not sure what will! (thats a lie I do have an idea). But like Orym went to the moon and back and almost died on the moon and all the count communicate to Dorian was "I miss you"!! Orym nearly died twice in one battle and he didn't think to give Dorian a sloppy, "If I die again I want to have kissed you once" kiss before going in for another round of getting hacked on. Dorian watched him go down and had to bring him back from death's door (one failed save scared the shit out of me) and he didn't think to give Orym a "We need you, I need you" kiss.

My unfortunate thought process, which I can't decide if I want it to come true or not, is that Dorian has to get hurt. Like when I say hurt I fucking mean it. Taken down in a round or two, two failed death saves, hurt. Because then Orym will have to face losing Dorian again. Face losing the man he loves, again. He pours a healing potion into Dorian's mouth because warlocks don't have a single healing spell. (Just checked). Orym feels so helpless in saving Dorian, because a healing potion isn't nearly enough to keep him up. He starts to cry over Dorian's (now conscious) body. He whispers between sobs "Not again, not again. Dorian you can't leave me. I love you, please, I never got to tell you, please stay alive." and Dorian, having heard all of that, reaches up to cup Orym's cheek and says. "Alright, just for you though."

Or something like that.

As much as I would love for them to be adults and just talk to each other. I know thats not going to happen. (Please, Robbie, Liam, prove me wrong.) So I think major tragedy will be the reason they confess to each other. Because they're idiots in love with a lot of weight on their shoulders.

#sleep drunk stage door #orym of the air ashari #dorian storm #dorym #written before watching 106 #these two are going to be the death of me #i was thinking about DORIAN DYING all the way home from work #almost cried a few times #but like the thing is with these two idiots is that theyre both hell insecure #maybe not with each other in a way that makes them avoid each other. but orym defo does not think he deserves dorian #in whatever way you want to take that the answer is yes for all of it.#and dorian is insecure in the way that i dont know if he expects orym to get over will for him #he doesnt doubt that orym loves him. and he'd never blame him for still loving will. but dorian doesnt think hes worthy enough.#or that hes worth the effort of moving on #does any of this make sense? I was up too early and worked hard today #so sorry if this is a rambling mess.#i feel like i didn't answer your question i filled out a writing prompt.#my b #i like hearing myself talk if you couldnt tell #certified yapper

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nerdyvocals · 1 year ago

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9 People to Know Better (except I'm not tagging 9 people)

I don't normally do tag games, but I got tagged in this twice (by @jealous-kippen and @remmixx, my beloveds <3) so here I am! (also as I'm writing this out I am realizing that while both posts were titled the same way, it looks like they had different question prompts??? So I'm just gonna combine the two)

Favorite Color: Purple! Any shade will have my heart but I am partial to more red-toned purples. (PV, if that means anything to anyone who sees this other than me, you know who you are)

Currently Reading: Three things! In terms of actual books, I've been slowly making my way through the Riordanverse since my university did The Lightning Thief in my second year (first school in my state to do it once the rights were released!) since I somehow never got into Percy Jackson as a kid, and I'm currently on Son of Neptune. I'm also one like my third or fourth re-read of Eurydice by Sara Ruhl, since that's the play I'm designing the costumes for for my senior project. And in terms of fanfic, I woke up to a notification about this yesterday and Actually Screeched.

Last Song: Dial Drunk by Noah Kahan (ft. Post Malone), which was a bit of an accident. I use siri to request music while I'm driving and I asked for Dial Drunk and was singing along until I got jumpscared by the slight difference before Post Malone's verse. Although if you look at my spotify, the ROTPL album has been on repeat for weeks.

Currently Watching (Series): I've been hyperfixated on ROTPL and have watched it over a dozen times at this point, which is probably not healthy, so I put on NCIS last night for background noise while I ate dinner and accidentally watched like six episodes.

Currently Watching (Movie): Saw the Barbie movie the night before the actual opening with my coworkers (We don't cross picket lines people! I was not asked nor invited by any company, and I paid full price for my ticket. There's a one-screen theatre in the town where I'm doing summer stock, this relic from the 50's, and they were able to get access to the film a day early and did a special first come first serve premiere.) and we all sobbed the entire way through.

Current Obsession: Rise of the Pink Ladies. Full stop. I'd seen clips of it when it first aired in April but I was iffy on it in spite of how good it looked. Like most, I'm a little tired of reboots and remakes, and while I did clock Cynthia as being queer within two seconds, (I believe my exact words were "That's either a very butch lesbian or the eggiest egg to ever egg.") I was Convinced it was a queerbait situation. Plus I was nearing finals and didn't have time to get into a new show. But then Crushing Me was trending on tiktok and I realized this was not queerbait, so I put it on to have something playing while I packed for summer stock and it's been the only thing I can think about since mid May. It got me writing fanfic again for the first time in years, if that tells you anything. Speaking of,

Currently Working On: A follow-up to my previous fic, Steady, Steady! I wanted to have it up this week, but it is a behemoth. I'm a little over halfway through my plot outline and I'm at 10,441 words. Fun fact, this will be my longest single-chapter fic so far. Not just in the fandom, not just on AO3, but ever (so far!)

No-Pressure Tagging: @merely-a-player, @penguin-writes-books, @el-fandom-birb, @marley-barnes112, @isweartheyregayyourhonor, and @look-at-those-niceass-rocks (since I've already dragged you back to tumblr kicking and screaming)

#tag game #this was fun #and also longer than I expected

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hannahbarberra162 · 3 months ago

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thank you so much for responding to me twice now!! im sorry im sending these in so frequently, I dont know how tumblr works but i hope that, even if you dont post a reply to this, (which btw you NEVER have to, please dont feel obligated), i honestly only want you to read the ask. (even then its okay if you dont lol), im a bit overenthusiastic about your work, if you couldn't tell haha 😓 (not that it doesn't deserve all the enthusiasm in the world!!- I just know I can ramble when something excites me.) I'll try to space out my asks more as to not overwhelm you or anything. i honesty would love to read whatever you have to offer, even if it's just posting little snippets. I feel bad requesting stuff, though, from what I've read you're probably a busy college student with enough on your plate! still, without making any specific requests, whatever you have to offer, ill eat up like it's my last meal!! id love to see your works on other chatacters! i honestly didn't even really care heavily for mihawk or shanks but you know damn well i ate up your works on them! and like i said, i dont even really know Marco besides your interpretation, (which are canon in my mind haha) and literally had to look up who thatch was. yet i STILL have enjoyed your writings with them to the point ive been up late wondering what happens next. whatever you write, ill enjoy! you just have such incredibly intriguing stories, i honestly have never been so hooked before. thank you so much for writing! i guessed that either Marco or Ace was your favorite, so im glad i was close with Ace! i had the same sort of question as i did with Marco, but I didn't wanna ask both in one message. kinda a 'why him', sorta thing, not that i dont get this one completely- ive seen him in action and i love ace too! But i wanna hear why YOU love him, how YOU see him, same as what i asked for Marco. you don't have to answer if you dont want to! i know ive already typed a lot, so ill cut myself off here!! thank you my goat!! 🐐 and thank you for my appreciation of the WBP!!

(I've also really enjoyed your jinbe work so far!! he's one of my favorites🌊)

@celine-zzz Don't be sorry!!! This made my day, my week, my month! I lose confidence a lot and reading things like this make me think it's worth it. Thank you so so so much for your praise!!!! I actually screenshot nice asks like these and reread them haha. Ask whatever you want!! I like interacting with other people!!! Talk to me all you want!!!

I don't mind getting requests, I just don't ask for them bc I don't know that I can fulfill what people want. But I'm always happy to try! Heat Transfer is actually based off a Nonnie ask and I spiraled from there.

And, ah, I'm quite a few years past my college days 🫠🫠🫠 I'm not sure if that's better or worse, but time comes for us all.

In truth I started writing characters I felt I had a better handle on. I find Ace to be the most relatable. I think he's the most like someone you could potentially meet, maybe other than Law. Someone who is confident and self loathing and insecure and smart and dumb and self assured and all of that wrapped in a cute bundle with freckles. I also find Ace easy to write because I do feel that I've met people like him in real life, so I think of the dumb shit they would do lol. He reminds me a lot of a few of my friends, maybe that's why I feel protective over him.

That isn't a very good answer, but in summary he's my bby and I want the best for him <3.

Jinbe is who I'd actually want to ship myself with (see self indulgent fic) and I'd most want to be friends with and spend the day with Usopp.

#asks are fun

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kiwi-tmntfan · 2 years ago

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I posted 225 times in 2022

That's 225 more posts than 2021!

88 posts created (39%)

137 posts reblogged (61%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@waytoobsessed

@iaminlovewithdonnie

@cosmoshard

@kidswithautism

I tagged 196 of my posts in 2022

Only 13% of my posts had no tags

#reblogged - 76 posts

#k2007tmnt - 39 posts

#tmnt 2007 - 38 posts

#ops tags now - 37 posts

#rottmnt - 33 posts

#not my art - 28 posts

#random crap - 26 posts

#tmnt - 22 posts

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles - 20 posts

#rise of the tmnt - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#when the bees in the bucket be bees in a bucket and they be bees in a bucket of bees do they be bees in a bee bucket of bucket bees

My Top Posts in 2022:

H E L P !

Which Rise of the TMNT character does this fit the best?

I'm kind of thinking Leo, but I need other opinions

43 notes - Posted October 25, 2022

Alright, I know it's Thanksgiving in America right now, but here's a little Christmas thing because no one can stop me.

Leo: What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?

Donnie: Dead.

Leo: Tinselitis!

Donnie: You get dead. If you ate Christmas decorations, you'd be dead.

Leo: Wow.

Original (me and my brother)

49 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

Neon Leon

Neon coloured Leon (actually turned out really nice!)

And Neon sign Leon (I recommend clicking because it looks kinda weird when it's small)

128 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

NOPE I'M DONE

WHY DID I THINK OF THIS, AND WHY DID I HAVE TO BE RIGHT

^ Donnie's big, beautiful eyebrows that we all know and love ^

See the full post

157 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Lazy drawing, but I just wanted to do this one so bad as soon as I saw it!! Might redraw later though, I don't know..

@rottmnt-totally-correct-quotes

Didn't feel like drawing Raph twice for different expressions, idrk why.. Wobbly Leo though 😂 Also thought about drawing long snoot Donnie, but decided otherwise because I already struggle to draw him normally..

418 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #BEES #also I'm pretty sure I only joined tumblr in like #idk maybe september? october?#I'm surprised this much happened in like 3 months though #I'd say I'm not usually very active online though so idk that might just be me

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dear-ao3 · 4 years ago

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If I submitted something a month or so ago and it hasn't been posted, should I try sending it again? (i don't mean this in a "POST MY SUBMISSIONS OR ELSE" way, i'm just curious if tumblr ate it or if the mods just didn't put it in the queue (which yall are within your rights to do), so i know whether i'm being annoying with submitting something multiple times or helpful bc the mods didn't see something)

alright so

i am the only mod, me, saph

i go through the inbox maybe once or twice a day to queue things

out of all the posts i get about half get queued, and then about half get deleted because i either don't vibe with them, they're too fandom specific, its an excerpt with no source, too sexual, i feel like its making fun of the fic or the author, you sent it as an ask instead of a submission or sometimes just because tumblr glitches and the picture won't load.

i don't particularly pay much attention to what i queue, i just kinda skim them and then either queue or delete.

i think the current wait time in the queue is about two weeks, maybe a little more. and i try to queue or delete the same day i get things but there are currently 238 asks (state discourse and other nonsense, not submissions) in this ask box alone (plus another 40 from my other blogs) so sometimes submissions get lost.

but if you haven't seen your thing in a month then i probably deleted it for one of the above reasons or tumblr ate it.

#not a tag #housekeeping #from saph

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mywritingonlyfans · 3 years ago

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I don’t want to post it on my site simply because I’ve never written before (especially in English) and I’m too shy 👉🏻👈🏻🥺 but i feel like i should show it to someone. thanks to tumblr for anonymity. I just said that I'm really worried if I'm bothering you with this

Well, in general, that's it. I hope you really don't mind

he remembers the first time he saw her. and how his brain immediately stopped working properly.

he randomly craved coffee that day. he didn't really like this drink until that day.

in the next building from where he lived there was a coffee shop and that was where thomas headed.

a neon sign on the street, a garland of light bulbs, a couple of tables and chairs to relax and enjoy a drink. everything would be fine if not for the music from the speaker. "damn, this is led zeppelin" - he thought to himself : "I already like this place". but going inside thomas liked it even more. he liked it so much that he froze in the aisle, unable to take his eyes off the barista.

- good afternoon, what would u like to drink? - it seems Thomas did not even hear the question and continued to examine the girl opposite him, he was so fascinated by her - mister, are you okay?

- oh, yes ... yes, of course, I'm sorry - it seems he is already redder than a tomato

- what'll it be?

- um .. maybe ... I want - "you" thought the guitarist to himself, but of course he didn't voice it - I don't know what I want - sighed sadly

- well, in that case, let me help you with the choice - it seems her eyes sparkled even brighter. damn this girl really loves her job

- it would be nice - after a couple of questions, the girl began to flutter around the coffee machine.

all her movements were so easy and so ... beautiful. just like her. dark hair, almost black. loose clothes in which she looked even smaller than she was. "she is tiny. she's up to my shoulder... OK, maybe a little bit higher... or not" . in any case, it doesn't matter, unlike the fact that from the moment he saw her, this girl did not leave Thomas's head for more than a minute. he thought about her all the time. when he fell asleep, when he woke up, when he ate and even when he was working on new music.

from day to day he came to the coffee shop in the morning for a cappuccino with a little bit of caramel syrup (I think he would like it) . the barista offered him this drink when he first went into a coffee shop and did not know what to take and now he is ready to drink only it until the end of his days. on the days when he had to go to the studio, he bought coffee for the whole band, simply because "if you don't want to introduce us to the thief of your heart, then at least bring us coffee from her". the point was that thomas didn't know her either. not even her name. nothing. all he knew was that she works in a coffee shop and she is about his age. and also that her handwriting is beautiful. when the guitarist took coffee for the whole group, she wrote on each cup what was inside.

they never talked about anything. after a couple of visits, the girl already knew Thomas's order by heart. so every time he quietly entered, greeted from the doorway and said the number of drinks and sat down at a table waiting for his order. he quietly watched every movement of the girl, paid, thanked and left as quietly as he came.

why didn't they talk? they both wondered this question. at first they boyh were too shy, and afterwards silence became a habit. and it became even more difficult to speak first.

almost two months have passed since their first meeting. Thomas stood near the coffee shop, smoked and talked to victoria on the phone.

- fuck! ..yes, apparently I fell in love! I have a crush! I'm smitten by a girl! yes, I'm!..maybe... I do not know! leave me alone vic, please! - thomas was fed up with it. he was angry with himself and his lack of confidence, and this conversation did not help, especially at half past seven in the morning

- did you ask her out? damn, thomas! do you even know her name? - the last long drag and he threw the cigarette into the trash can

- she is fucking perfect, gorgeous, breathtaking and she's doing the best coffee in the world and she is not interested in me in this regard. end of the conversation! - he ran his hand over his face and ruffled his blond hair.

- how she can not being interested in you? have you even tried to talk to her?

- OK vic, I'm done, see you soon

thomas pushed the red icon on his phone and entered the coffee shop, without even thinking that the girl behind the counter heard what was happening on the street.

- good morning. four please - he sat down at the table - she left her hair down today, looks good ... nah, perfect on her. he thought about the way she smiles every time when she sees him. although he realizes that she is only smiling at him because he is her customer... damn, he seems to be in serious trouble.

- are you okay? you look a bit...

- t-tired? - did she just...spoke to me? - yes, could not sleep all night

- coffee does not replace sleep, but I hope it will help you

- me too, dolcezza - she's so cute when she blushes. it seems he fell in love even more, if it possible

the guitarist paid, took his four cups of coffee and headed for the door

- thanks, bellezza - thomas raggi, where did you suddenly get so much courage to call her like that? TWICE!? but still not enough courage. he thought to himself

Thomas gave the stand with signed cups to Damiano, who was sitting in the front seat

- OK, that's yours - the singer handed the cup to victoria who was sitting in the back of the car with guitarist - ethan, your coffee, and ... O LORD, FOR GOD'S SAKE! THOMAS YOU FINALLY DID IT !

the blond guy looked up sharply from the phone

- What did I....?

- LOOK! - damiano interrupted thomas and handed him the cup. there was complete silence in the car. the guitarist couldn't take his eyes off the writing on the cup of his caramel cappuccino, and the band couldn't take their eyes off his shocked face. there was a phone number written in neat handwriting

- that's might be her phone number ... did she..?. SHE GAVE ME HER FUCKING PHONE NUMBER!!!

thomas would not be thomas if he called or texted her. at the end of the working day he just came to a coffee shop with a neon sign.

- good evening - without looking up from work the girl began - what would you... - she finally turned towards the guy standing awkwardly near the door - oh, hi - she looked down and blushed a little. it seems he should have contacted her during the day

- I'm sorry I didn't text you, I ...

- no, it's okay, I just misunderstood you, I'm sorry, I - the girl wanted to continue, she was interrupted by thomas's nervous giggle

- no, don't apologize - he came closer to the counter - I really wanted to text to you .. and offer to take a walk after work .. and find out your name .. from the very first day when I came here - the guitarist babble quickly, but at the same time with slight pauses between sentences. his gaze time traveled from the barista's face to some random item in a coffee shop all the, which could not but make the girl smile

- I'm y/n

By the way, I apologize for the mistakes, as you already understood, English is not my native language

THAT'S SO FUCKING ADORABLE I'M FUCKING IN LOVE WITH IT OMG pls nervous/anxious Thomas is a thing and I love it!!! Pls get your girl, siiiir!!!! Thanks for that, you're amazing!!

- and i don't mind at all, i love reading it!

#måneskin #thomas raggi #thomas raggi x reader #maneskin talk

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tummyisbae · 3 years ago

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I posted 2,380 times in 2021

40 posts created (2%)

2340 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 58.5 posts.

I added 3,209 tags in 2021

#fat belly - 753 posts

#not my art - 549 posts

#chubby belly - 529 posts

#stuffed belly - 368 posts

#jiggle jiggle - 321 posts

#tight clothes - 207 posts

#weight gain - 193 posts

#beautiful belly - 137 posts

#cute belly - 107 posts

#amen - 45 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i put on a pair of shorts from when i was in 8th grade and when i sat down the clasp of the zipper broke off as well as a few of the teeth

My Top Posts in 2021

Snow storm had me panicking 😱 because we don't do snow in Texas 😫 so I did some doodles to keep me calm ☺️

1. My little naga Giles cuddled up with my minikin Rinna, who probably ate twice her weight in butter cookies to keep warm 😋 Maybe it'll be a regular thing with them.

2. An OC I've been playing around with 😏 I'm calling him Mint for now. He's a vain guy who refuses to look anything other than his Absolute Best™ when in front of others. Unfortunately, he accidentally went into the girls' locker room to change and was spotted by Pisa 😹

3. Noel and Esme 🥰 my fat and fat-admirer lesbians~ Noel's belly comes in handy when there's cold hands that need to be warmed up 😉

18 notes • Posted 2021-02-20 00:42:06 GMT

This particular type of scenario has been on my mind for a while...

A person has gained weight, and they're aware of it. The question is: do they need new clothes or is their wardrobe still okay?

They try on a pair of shorts/pants. After shimmying a bit, tugging higher and higher, and sucking in their belly, they manage to get it past their thighs, zipped and buttoned. A bit tight, but that's usually the case when you put on a pair that hasn't been worn in a while. Besides, it looks alright in the mirror. There's a muffin top, but they expected as much. Yes, these will do for now.

They go to the living room and plop down on the couch for a little morning news before breakfast. Did the creaking come from their clothes or from the old furniture? The button and zipper are holding up well. In fact, sitting down, it makes their muffin top look more like the top of a dome cake. Now where's the remote? There it is; on the coffee table in front of them.

As they reach over to grab it...

Button flies. Zipper busts. Seams split. (Or any combination of the three)

They sit up, not even angry. It was a miracle they were even able to put them on to begin with.

So the question became: Was there anything with a non-elastic waistband that still fit? And would they last on a full stomach?

They didn't have much else to do that day. May as well take the opportunity, check to see what else still fits, do some clothes shopping and maybe have a nice meal at their favorite restaurant...

18 notes • Posted 2021-08-17 23:44:24 GMT

You ever been so pissed off that you draw a bunch of tummy stuff to relax enough to go to sleep? That's what happened here 😏 Drew up a little girl with a tail names Ismelda who is starving, stuffed, then struggles to reach something up in a cabinet 😹 (IDK who the disembodied voice is.)

On the bottom left, we have Charlotte and Lazarus. Charlotte is recovering from an ED, and Lazarus is being a great boyfriend, checking on how she (and her tummy) feel 🥰

19 notes • Posted 2021-08-20 23:00:37 GMT

lmao weird to say you’re asexual and then be into kinks/fetishes openly

I never claimed to be normal 😎

27 notes • Posted 2021-08-04 17:33:40 GMT

Pie Day 2021 🥧 featuring my pandemic lesbians ✨ Esme's day didn't start off great, but Noel is there to help her girlfriend 🥰

32 notes • Posted 2021-03-15 07:26:05 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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tilltheendwilliwrite · 4 years ago

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Star-Crossed: Bound by Blood

Chapter Two

Master List / Read on AO3

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Mando/Din Djarin x OFC Baast’Mal

Warnings: I’m making this up as a go, Canon divergent from the series during chapter 13, mild violence

A/N: I make this stuff up as I go along, if I screw something Star Wars-y up, apologies in advance, I didn’t do it on purpose, but I’m new to this Fandom. I will be cross posting this story between AO3 and Tumblr except the smutty bits. Those chapters will only be available to registered users on AO3. (I’m trying something new for people who want to read here on Tumblr, but to also avoid the smut for minors controversy. We’ll see how it goes.)

*I do not have a tag list* Please follow the story on AO3 if you want email updates, or follow @tilltheendwilliwrite-library where I post the new/latest chapters of all my stories.

***

Baast woke to the scent of cooking meat. It made her stomach rumble and mouth salivate but also confused her. There had been no one in her life for many years. There should be no one to cook. Her eyes snapped open, prepared to fight whoever had found her.

Then her eyes fell on Din playing with Grogu, and it all came flooding back. He spoke softly through the modulator, encouraging the boy to float the small silver ball from Din's hand to Grogu's.

When the child succeeded, Din whispered a pleased, "Dank farrik!"

Baast almost purred, watching him with the child. He made an excellent father, and she was of an age to desire a mate, a home, a pride. But a warrior like him deserved someone better than a broken Zentari. It mattered not that her soul cried out whenever he touched her without the barrier of his gloves.

He'd stripped them off yesterday, and she could smell him—the spicy scent of masculine soap blending seamlessly with the musk of a man warm in his beskar. But the underlying scent of Din Djarin was that of the sandy dunes of her homeworld. He smelled of warm winds and dusky plains, of tall grasses whipped by fragrant breezes.

He smelled like home.

The stars were cruel indeed to drop her in the lap of the one made for her.

She watched them for a time as he encouraged Grogu. Their bond was strong, too strong if the Jedi were to be believed. Such attachments bred fear for the one they loved, and fear lent itself to the Darkside.

The idea of Grogu's pure soul becoming tainted made her ache, and though she said she couldn't help them, Baast knew she must. Grogu deserved a chance to grow up on the side of good.

She sat up, drawing Din's notice, the man turning toward her across the fire.

"Morning."

Baast wondered at the voice behind the modulator. Would it be deeper? More robust? Would it be even more pleasing than this one that stroked fingers of violent want through her blood?

"Good morning," she murmured, voice husky still with sleep.

Before she could ask, the canteen he carried on his belt was in his hand. "Drink?"

She nodded, catching it easily when he tossed it to her. "Thank you. I'm not used to morning conversations anymore. Or any conversations in some years."

"You've done well, evading capture until now. Now, the Tribe will help."

"The Tribe," she whispered. "I've been alone for so long." The idea of being part of something was both appealing and terrifying. "I look forward to meeting your Alor."

"She will be glad to meet you. They all will. Everyone will hope-" He cut himself off, busying himself with the lizard cooking over the fire.

"Mando, they should not hope for what I do not think I can give," she sighed, lifting Grogu to her lap when he shuffled over.

"You don't know for sure you can't bond, Baast. Give it time."

Time was all she had. Life was a long thing for a Zentari alone in the universe.

Small green hands gently touched her cheeks, causing her to look down at Grogu. He cooed a sweet noise as she gazed into big, dark eyes. They were expressive in their own right, and she felt herself falling, diving once more into his mind.

The images came fast and furious. Din running, fighting, killing, but almost always alone.

Baast closed her eyes as pain washed through her for the Mandalorian. "I cannot," she whispered to the child. "It would not be fair."

Grogu frowned at her before squealing loudly. More images filled her mind, these of a man reckless with his safety, one who had little to nothing to live for.

She gasped and wrenched her face away from his hands, but it didn't stop the flow of ridiculousness. Kriff! The man had a death wish!

When Grogu disappeared from her lap, only then did he release her from his grasp.

Baast sent the green menace a glare. "That was entirely rude."

He smiled and blew a raspberry.

"I'm sorry," Din murmured, holding the child away like Grogu was a danger.

She held up her hand, continuing to glare. "Do not apologize for something he did. It sets a poor president. Invading my mind is bad manners, little one. Disregarding another's desires is a step down a dark path. This will not be allowed."

"Dark path?" Din asked.

"The Jedi and the Sith. One force believes in peace and passivity. The other wants power and are often corrupted by that passionate desire, both use the Force. He has the potential to be extremely powerful, but with that power comes responsibility. It is a razor's edge to walk, one I am not confident I have the skill to help him navigate."

Din straightened, but his shoulders lowered, relaxing his posture. "You'll help him? I didn't want to bring it up, but I'm running out of options."

"Yes," she sighed. "I know of one who may be able to help him, but I do not know if he will come at my call. Where is your covert?" He said nothing, and Baast tilted her head in apology. "That was an improper question. Forgive me."

"Always," he murmured.

She wondered if that would still be true should he learn what Grogu already suspected. "If I am to make contact, it must be from Tatooine."

"Why Tatooine?"

"Because it is the planet we agreed upon." She turned toward the fire and the spit of roasting meat before looking up at Din. "Have you eaten?"

The movement was subtle, a single negative action.

Baast hummed and reached for the cloth that tied her pants' to her calf and began to unwrap it.

"What are you doing?"

She ignored him and continued until her pant leg fluttered free. The cloth was only a couple inches wide, but it was long and thick enough to make an adequate blindfold.

She lifted it to her eyes, only for his hand to shoot out and grab her wrist. It felt odd for him to touch her with the slightly cracked but soft leather of a glove now that she knew the feel of his skin.

"You don't need to do that."

Baast blinked slowly, gaze drifting to his hand before returning to the visor where his eyes would be. "It is not a need but a want. I will do this, Din Djarin, so that you may eat freely with the child and I. This is the Way."

"It is unnecessary."

She unfolded, rising gracefully to stand before him, wrist yet held in his grasp. "When last did you eat?"

He said nothing.

She tilted her head and held out the cloth. "I have not shared a meal with another in many years. I would share this meal with you and Grogu. Allow me to honour your Creed."

There was no sound, no movement beyond what Grogu contributed to the conversation in small burbles of noise. The Mandalorian was still and silent, a hunter in all things.

Baast waited, quiet, calm. After so many years in a cell, the forest gave her peace, but those years had taught her patience. She could wait for eternity for his decision. She had the time, after all.

What went on behind the helmet, she couldn't know, but eventually, he set Grogu down, released her wrist, and took the blindfold. "Turn around."

She did so, pushing her hair back to uncover her ears. "If possible, try not to cover them. The tips are sensitive, and the fabric will feel abrasive."

The cloth came down over her eyes, hooked behind her ears, and crossed at the back of her head.

"Again," she murmured. "I can still see."

Twice more, the fabric circled before he tied a knot.

Her senses heightened, hearing, smell, and the sixth sense that had been with her all her life. The Force resonated in every living thing, glowing and pulsing, connecting all of them. She could see it like an orange glow, thin lines and thick, veining out around them.

"Good?"

"Yes." The heat of the fire warmed her skin, but before she could move, Din took her hand and elbow.

"Kneel. I'll get you some food."

Baast followed his direction, aware of the bright light that was Grogu coming to her side. He placed his hand on hers, flooding Baast with a gentle apology. She turned her hand over to hold his little claws.

A quiet hiss filled her ears, causing her to turn toward Din. The beskar blocked some of his energy, the Force somehow muted by it. Then he lifted off his helmet.

It took every effort to restrain herself from gasping. He glowed white, the shining brightness of a sun. Shock left her mute as she tracked the supernova that was this Mandalorian as he set down his helmet and removed the spit from the fire. He pulled off a piece of meat, maybe a leg, she couldn't quite tell, and brought it to her.

"Here." The deep baritone was like the softest of silk to her senses.

Baast held out her hands for the meat. His bare fingers grazed her palm as the hot meal hit her flesh, and grease trickled through her fingers.

"Thank you," she managed to force from a throat gone tight with emotion.

"It's hot. Be careful."

She stuffed down the aching need to reach out and feel the lips that produced such a voice and smiled crookedly instead. "Too long have you travelled with only Grogu for company."

He chuckled. "Perhaps."

Another wave of needy desire hit her, but Baast fought it off. She would not doom him to a half-life with an unfinished bond.

She ate and made sure he ate once Grogu was fed, asking questions about the child and how they came to be together simply to keep him talking. His voice was a balm to a soul grown used to silence.

When they finally finished their meal, she waited for him to return his helmet and come to release the blindfold. His hands were deft, skilled, and careful not to pull her hair.

Baast blinked to adjust to the quickly blooming daylight, then retied her pant leg as Din smothered the fire. She reached for Grogu and stood, ready to leave.

"I can carry him."

She tilted her head, already missing the gentle ebb and flow of the Force from him, now encased in all that beskar. "Do you object to me carrying him because you think I am weak or out of principle because he is your foundling?"

"Uh…"

She arched a brow. "Do not underestimate me, Mando. I live because I am jatnese be te jatnese. The best of the best."

"I know what it means," he huffed.

"Then stop being ori'buyce, kih'kovid," she smirked. "I will care for the child as you have cared for me."

"Atin," he muttered.

She didn't protest because, yes, she was stubborn.

"Fine." She could almost hear a pout in his modulated voice as he turned and marched out of their temporary camp. "And I'm not all helmet," he grumbled, likely thinking she couldn't hear him.

Baast smirked and gave Grogu a wink. "Come along, ad'ika. We weak ones best keep up with the big strong Mandalorian," she teased.

"I will leave you behind."

She grinned at his back. "No, you will not."

***

By the time they reached the Razor Crest, he was sweating in his beskar again, but with the luxury of the fresher within sight, Din didn't let it bother him.

He disarmed the ground defences and lowered the hatch, heading inside to get them underway. He wanted off the planet before anyone else thought to come looking for Baast'mal.

Hopefully, the Alor would know who to bribe to falsify a new chain code for her. Either that, or there would be an all-out war to eliminate the threat and bounty on her head. Or, she would spend the rest of her life hunted by the Empire.

He hated that thought. Baast was not a creature who should spend her life hiding. She should be allowed out into the light, a creature of hope and beauty.

Though he hadn't seen the true colour of her eyes, the rest of her was so mesh'la, when he'd removed his helmet, it had momentarily taken his breath. And without the helmet, her scent had filled his nose like something he'd loved and long forgotten. It was warm, soft, and decadent, all things a Mandalorian put off when he put on the beskar.

It was getting harder and harder to keep his hands to himself.

She closed the ramp and followed him to the ladder, climbing up with Grogu to slip into the seat back and to his right.

"Once we've left the atmosphere, you're welcome to the fresher, food, whatever you need," he offered, getting them airborne.

"Do I smell?"

He froze. "That wasn't what-"

Her laugher, that throaty purr, cut him off. "It's fine, Mando. An actual fresher after years of lakes and waterfalls will be pleasant."

"Hm. I have to make a stop on Nevarro, then another before we go to Tatooine. Is there anything you need?"

"Clothing. A cloak. And a weapon."

They cleared the planet, and he made the jump into hyperspace before turning around. "What kind?"

"Short sabres or staff will do."

He watched her pet Grogu's ears, gently using those long claws in such a fashion the kid was almost comatose in bliss. She sat with one foot propped on the seat, comfortably leaning on the armrest. He wondered if her skin would begin to lose its sun-kissed nature now that she was off-world.

"How did you learn to fight?" he asked, forcing himself not to think about her skin and how soft it was.

"Mandalorians are not the only warrior race. Zentari are taught from birth; the rest I learned from the idiots who held me captive. They sought to make me a weapon or a slave, with that came training, but Zentari are not so easily coerced, nor do we forget the slaughter of thousands. I am no weak-minded individual to be controlled by some Sith," she spat.

"Sith?" He knew next to nothing about Force-wielders and felt the lack of knowledge acutely.

"They oppose all things the Jedi stand for, desiring power over peace or balance. They corrupt what they touch.."

"And how does a Zentari hold out against someone so powerful?" He didn't wish to insult her, but surely a child against a master Sith couldn't win.

She sighed and looked away, watching the lights of hyperspace. "Zentari are neither good nor evil. We are Force neutral. The blood bonds distinguish much of our future. To avoid creating bonds with those that would bring harm was why Zentarus was so well hidden. But someone betrayed us. They used to brag about it, the Imps. How one who we trusted gave us up to the Empire."

"If you are Force neutral, why allow Mandalorians to know of Zentarus? Why let us come seeking mates?"

She shot those vibrant eyes back in his direction. "Because the Way was honourable once. Perhaps, at some point, Mandalore was led astray by their leader, but that was not our doing. Those that came to us knew the Way. They humbled themselves before us, and if they were denied, they left knowing such was not their destiny. Those who came knowing not the Way… did not leave Zentarus alive."

"Then I am glad I knew the Way," he murmured, wondering who would have won between the two of them had she not revealed herself.

"As am I," she nodded, looking as regal as the Sand Panther she claimed in her blood.

"Were the Jedi not part of your Way?"

She scowled. "The Jedi saw us as a threat. Naturally born Force users who required little training to do much of what they could, who lived for generations, and who were neither good nor evil. They feared what would happen if we were corrupted. An attempt was made to wipe us out. It failed, and we Zentari veiled Zentarus from those who knew not where to look."

"And that's why you didn't want to help us," he sighed, realizing the untenable position he'd put her in.

She stood, placing the sleeping Grogu down on her seat before taking the step she needed to stand between his spread knees. Her hands lifted to land lightly on the sides of his helmet, gliding over the metal. "It is no longer a want but a need. I will not watch Grogu fall to the side of the Sith because of my fear of the Jedi. He must be trained."

She leaned down and rested her forehead against his helmet as long lashes veiled her eyes. "This is the Way."

Without his permission, Din's hands found her hips and drew her incrementally closer. "I will protect you, Baast."

"We will protect each other."

He hummed his agreement and wondered at the low ripple of sound vibrating through his chest.

Next chapter

#Star-Crossed #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x ofc #star-crossed:bound by blood

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kisschik4evr · 4 years ago

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Ok here goes nothing with my first fanfic in 20 years. I have quite a bit written but I am very fussy so taking my time going back over what I've written so here's the first bit. Also if there's a better way to post these, I still haven't quite figured tumblr out!

Hold Me Touch Me

There, finished, send, Pat mumbled to herself, finally managed to get her article finished and sent off to the magazine. She closed her laptop and wandered into the kitchen to get a well-deserved glass of wine. She thought do I open a good bottle or just grab a glass from the box in the fridge. She thought drink the cheap stuff first. She actually had a pretty impressive wine collection, thanks to Paul, he had a bad habit of sending her a bottle at least once a month.

She grabbed her glass and went back to the living room to relax. She sat down and grabbed an Afghan to cover up with. She thought about the last eight months or so and how much things had changed. She had the opportunity to live and work in New York and took a chance and went for it. Then the stars magically aligned or the planets or both but she met Paul, totally unexpected and random. She had stopped at her favourite bookstore to browse and maybe buy something. She had been checking out the new bestsellers and was reading the jacket. That's a really good book, you look like you'd enjoy it, Paul said. She froze, she knew that voice only too well. Thanks, she managed to get out. She looked up and she must have turned very red, he smiled and said I take it by your reaction, you know who I am? Um, yes, she stammered. He held out his hand, well you know my name but I don't know yours? She took his hand, thinking I feel like a freaking teenager here, Pat, very nice to meet you, she managed to get out. Cool, hey I was just going to grab a coffee, join me? Ya, sure she replied. Then she realized he was still holding her hand.

She brought herself back to the present, hard to believe that was almost a year ago. It wasn't the easiest relationship but so far they managed to make it work pretty well. He still had friends and family in New York and she didn't mind going to LA. Now was harder, Kiss was on tour and with her work and their schedule they hadn't seen each other in 3 almost 4 months. She thought with this last article done she may be able to take a few days and go out.

She took a sip of her wine when her phone went off. She checked the text and was surprised to see Doc's name, the message was simply Call me! She thought oh shit, something's happened! She called it rang twice before Doc picked up. Doc, it's Pat, what's going on?! Hey, glad you called, can you come out for a few days? He asked. Actually I was just thinking about that, she said, but your text sounded like something's wrong. Well, there sort of is, he said, Paul's kind of miserable. To put it mildly, he's being a bit of an asshole. He explained. Yesterday he blew up at his guitar tech at soundcheck. I think he misses you. When did you two see each other last? He asked. Oh jeez,, 3, 4 months ago she said. Well, that explains part of his problem Doc said, with a small chuckle. Hey, that goes both ways here, ya know she said. True very true Doc agreed. So if I get a ticket for you, for later tonight, can you make it? Sure, just text me the details. Where am I going by the way? She asked. Oh sorry, Montreal, so you'll need your passport, he explained. Yup cool maybe I can pay my sister a quick visit. She said, well let me go pack some shit. Hey, don't tell him and don't tell Mr I can't keep a secret if my life depended on it Simmons. Cause you know gene's gonna go around with a cat that ate the canary grin on his face and Paul will get it out if him. She said. Ok well you have a pass right? Doc asked. Ya Paul sent one out before you guys left, it's an all access. She replied. Ok, that's good, I'll have a car waiting for you when you get here so just come to the forum. Doc explained. Ok thanks Doc, take me about an hour and then I'll go to the airport. What airline? She asked. Well I could send the jet? He said. No that would cost a fortune, jeez even the guys fly commercial most of the time. She said . Okay I'll get you on American and I'll text you if that changes Doc said. Right see you later and thanks, I know it's short notice but we can't have him like this. No problem, hell I'm missing him too. Pat said

#fanfic #writing #starchild #kiss

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obsessivestar · 5 years ago

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Steamy Love (A Tom Hiddleston x Reader) Chapter 30:~Time After Time~ FINALE

Summary: The nights alone have become colder and colder, and not just because of the weather.

Warnings: Angst in the beginning.

Read it on my Wattpad: www.wattpad.com/HiddlesStar

Word count: 2596

Tags: @theoneanna @midnightdragonzero @drakesfiance @kcd15 @ihthr @deviantsendbyreallife @bookgirlunicorn @cherrygeek86 @peachlobotomy666

A/N: This is it. The final chapter. Thank you so much for everyone that has liked, reblogged, or simply read any and every chapter of this fic. It's the first fanfiction I've completed in almost 5 years, but it's the first I've ever made public on Tumblr. It may be a while until I get back into writing completely, as I've decided to ship some of my creative focus towards drawing. I'm not very good at it, but I aspire to improve. Will I show my work at all? Maybe, if there's really a demand for it (though I doubt it lmao). I may post some Oneshots here or there. We'll see.

Until then, thank you for reading.

After you'd return home, Tom would start calling you at least twice a day for the next couple weeks. You didn't have the heart to block his number, but you certainly weren't going to pick up and talk to him. You couldn't believe what had happened at that event. You couldn't believe you allowed it to happen. You were always against public sex, but you couldn't help yourself around him. It's like he had you under a spell that forced you to need him. To desire him.

That's why you needed to stay far away from him. It doesn't matter that he loves you. He hurt you, in ways you can't even explain. In ways you don't want to explain. You just wanted to forget that night. Forget your feelings.

Forget him.

Though even after a month of locking yourself into your work, you still received his calls. You kept hearing about the play he was in and how great he was doing, even though the public had finally found out that you were no longer together. You couldn't help but check up on him and his play. While it hurt to hear his name, you were proud of him. You were proud of all he had already accomplished. You wish you could just talk to him and hear him boast about it. You were so excited to talk to him more about it before the big fight. It ate away at your heart that you couldn't hear him ramble about it. Hear the excited tone in his voice. You didn't want to stay mad at him, especially after the last thing he said to you...

Did he mean it? Did he...love you? Really love you? In truth, you were tired of being angry. You just wanted a chance to talk, but everytime he'd call you, you'd freeze up. You wouldn't, or couldn't answer.

That night, you really couldn't get to sleep, and you couldn't put on a happy smile for a stream. All you could really do is lay in bed with your phone beside you, quietly thinking to yourself.

You heard your phone begin to ring, looking at the Caller ID. You recognized the number. It was Tom.

You felt your heart flutter a little. You've been thinking about him all day, and you had wondered if these calls were ever going to stop. Did you even want them to stop?

Before the ringing would stop, you picked up the phone and answered it, holding it up to your ear. You heard nothing. Not even breathing.

"...Hello?..." You whispered, already feeling your emotions flare up. "...Tom?.."

"...You picked up.." You heard him speak, his tone sounding a little shaky. Had he been crying?

"Y-Yeah, I know..." You smirked slightly, sitting up some. "I-I guess I had to, eventually.."

"You...haven't picked up at all...f-for weeks.." Tom whispered. "I-I've just...been calling to hear your voicemail."

That hit you rather harder than you expected it to, already feeling tears well up in your eyes. You didn't want to get emotional again, but it was hard not to. He sounded sad.

"H...How's the play been?.." You asked, giving a shaky smile.

"Good.." You heard a half laugh from Tom. "I-It's been...fun. I...wish you could see it."

You frowned a little, closing your eyes to let some tears slowly fall down your cheeks.

"...Me too.." You admitted, giving a shaky breath. "I...I'm...tired of being angry. I want to talk.."

Tom let out another sigh, taking a minute to find the right words before speaking up again.

"...I was wrong to get angry at you.." Tom spoke, his voice a little shaky again. "I shouldn't of said the things I said, and I should've let you speak for yourself instead of barging out of that house and leaving you with all that paperwork. I regret it. I regret it all. I regret everything I did to you to make you upset, (Y/N).."

You frowned deeply, the hand holding the phone becoming a little shaky. You believed him, but part of you still hurt. He really did break your heart.

You sniffled somewhat, knowing he heard it. "D-Did you mean it?.." You finally managed to ask, your body shivering a little.

"I didn't mean to make you upset.." Tom spoke, though he was a little confused with what you meant.

"I-I mean...at the show.." You let out a shaky breath. "W-When you said you loved me...did you mean it? Or--Or was is just from the heat of the moment?.."

"...I meant it." Tom admitted, giving a slight sad chuckle. "I absolutely mean it. I love you.."

You couldn't help but smile, your heart fluttering up again. You placed a hand on your chest, feeling your heartbeat increase.

"...I love you too, Tom.." You spoke, holding back a slight sob.

You heard Tom give a shaky chuckle. You could practically see his big smile in your head. You missed that smile dearly. You wished you could see it again.

"S-So.." Tom calmed himself, clearing his throat a bit. "Wh-What now? Will you take me back?"

You smiled a little. "D-Do you think this would work? A long distance sort of thing?.." You asked.

"If I could fly you down here to be with me, I would.." Tom admitted. "But this play has me incredibly busy. I hardly have time to walk Bobby in the morning.."

"And I barely have the assets and time to actually start a moving process.." You frowned slightly. "Moving to another country, as much as I want it, would be ridiculously hard on my own."

You and Tom both went quiet for a moment, both of you really thinking about this. Neither of you had the time to help you get to him, but neither of you wanted to be apart for months. Who knows what else may come up during Tom's play? He could end up being gone until Christmas or something. You wanted to see him.

"I'm sure I'll think of something.." Tom finally spoke, smiling a little. "I promise. I'll find a way to you.."

"Don't start throwing money around to get to me.." You chuckled a bit, making him laugh as well. "As much as I miss you, I can wait for as long as you need me to."

"I'm not sure I can.." Tom admitted, letting out a slight sigh. "I'd love to catch

up with you on everything, but it's nearly 3 in the morning and I need to get some sleep.." Ah, you had forgotten about the Timezone differences. He's all the way up in London now, after all.

"I promised to call you before the play. I promise.."

"Okay.." You smiled warmly. "I-I love you, Tom.."

"And I love you, (Y/N). Truly.." He spoke in a warm tone. It made your chest feel all warm.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight.."

He hung up first after that.

You set your phone down, feeling your heartbeat once more as a few more tears slipped down your cheeks. You forgave him and admitted that you loved him, but would you really be okay having to wait months and months to see him again? You just wanted to be in his arms again and feel his lips on yours. You were scared of how long you'd potentially have to wait.

Despite that, you were able to get some nice rest. You dreamed of the day you'd get to lay in his arms.

And it would come sooner than you thought.

Another month went by, and you had gotten yourself on to a talk show to talk about your rising fame and upcoming movie. You had never been on one before, so you made sure to doll yourself up a little bit and wear a nice dress. It would be weird going up there on your own, but you had heard and seen from other interviews that the talk show host man was really nice. After fixing yourself up in the mirror, you saw the show start. The talk show host introduced you to the audience before calling you on stage. You smiled brightly as you climbed the stairs and went on stage, seeing all of the people from the audience begin to cheer. All of those people made a permanent bright smile appear on your face. You waved at everyone with a soft chuckle before sitting down on the soft sofa, shaking the show hosts hand as everyone quieted down.

"So nice to have someone new for a change!" The host spoke with a chuckle.

"It feels amazing to be here.." You admitted with a bright smile, crossing your legs.

"So, you've got your first movie coming out, eh? Got yourself quite the co-star, I hear.." They began, leaning forward a bit on their desk. "How was that?"

You chuckled again. People had learned that you and Tom were back together, so you've never stopped hearing about him.

"Yeah. We actually had to live together by that little outdoor set.." You admitted. "I messed up with renting one of the houses, so he let me stay with him."

"And that's how you fell in love, yeah?" The host grinned, being interrupted by the audience clapping for a moment before they'd quiet down. That was so surreal to see.

"I always hear about flings happening between costars on set.." You admitted. "But...my time with him was much more than that. He's treated me better than most, that's for sure."

"You haven't seen him since the beginning of the year, yes?" The host asked. "Has that been hard for you?"

You smiled sadly, placing a hand on your chest some. "It's not impossible, but it's been hard. I'm not upset about it, though. We've both become incredibly busy rather quickly. He's got his play, which I hear is amazing, and I've been streaming practically 7 times a week now that I've had the time again."

"Well, it's good to know you're staying optimistic." The host replied.

"Yeah.." you nodded a bit. "It's been...a little harder these last couple days, though. We call each other multiple days a week."

"Do you have a song you like to listen to?" The host asked, smirking some. "One that reminds you of him?"

You took a moment to really think about that. The question brought you back to the time you and Tom went to the grocery store and Time After Time came on the radio in the car, and when he kissed you in front of everyone in that clothing shop, the same song played. You had downloaded the song on to your phone after that day. You didn't realize how important it was to you until now. Tom even had it on his phone, last time you checked.

"Cyndi Lauper's 'Time After Time', maybe?.." You admitted with a shy chuckle. "It's played a couple times during my days with Tom. I downloaded it after people found out we were together because it was playing in that clothing store when he kissed me."

"Awe, that's sounds perfect.." The host smiled brightly, one of his hands moving under the desk. "You think Tom would give the same answer?" They asked.

"I mean, he's into the older styles of music.." You chuckled, a little confused. "I could call him and ask him later.."

You were too focused on the show host to hear footsteps come upstairs on to the stage, though the surprise was ruined by the sudden erupting screams and applause from the audience.

You turned around just in time for the host to start playing that song over the little speaks around set as you and the man locked eyes.

It was Tom.

You couldn't believe it.

Your eyes immedietly watered as you got up from your seat and ran to Tom, seeing him open out his arms to you. You ran right into his arms, wrapping your arms around his body. You almost didn't believe that this was real. It felt like a dream. How was he here? How did he make time for this?

You pulled back and cupped his face with both hands, already nearly sobbing just from the sight of him.

"Are you actually here!?" You asked with a happy whimper. It warmed your heart to see his big smile. He was emotional, too.

"I managed to find some extra time to get a flight down.." Tom chuckled, though he wasn't able to explain himself fully just yet. Hearing his voice so close to you made you want to just break into happy tears right then and there, so you pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss. You heard the audience go nuts, making you smile in the kiss. Tom pulled you closer to him, keeping the kiss locked until he remembered you were supposed to be doing an interview. He pulled back and gestured to the seats, holding your hand as you both sat down.

You could barely keep your eyes off of Tom for the whole rest of the interview. Afterwards, you'd say goodbye to everyone and leave the building together. You spoke outside once you reached his car.

"I've got another surprise for you.." Tom admitted, giving you a warm smile as he let go of your hand. He moved into his car for a moment and pulled out something before going back to you. He revealed 2 one-way tickets. Tickets to the UK.

"Would you still like to move in with me, my love?.." He asked you, looking into your eyes with his big, blue orbs.

Your eyes widened some and your heart skipped a beat. You placed your hand over your mouth before giving a shaky chuckle. "A-Are you serious?..." You asked, seeing him nod.

"With one phone call to a familiar moving company and a day or two, you can be living with me.." Tom spoke. "All I need is a Y--"

"Yes! Hell yes!" You chuckled happily before wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him into another close hug. Tom flinched before chuckling, hugging you back for a moment before pulling back to give you another deep kiss, inhaling some to take in how soft your lips were. The joy you felt in your heart couldn't be properly described.

You pulled back from the kiss to wipe all the tears that had run down your cheeks, including some of the makeup makeup had on. "I'm gonna end up crying all day.." you joked with a chuckle.

Tom chuckled as well, smirking some. "I could give you other reasons to have tears in your eyes.."

Oh god, you had a feeling he hadn't gotten over this flirtatious phase he's had with you.

Then again...

You chuckled some. "It's been a couple months hasn't it?" You asked, biting yhe corner of your lower lip.

"Mhmm.." Tom purred somewhat "and I've learned some things.."

"Have you, now?.." You tilted your head some, getting a nod from Tom.

"Indeed I have.." Tom grinned. "And there's a certain...doctor who has been dying to meet you."

You knew who he was talking about. You recently rewatched High-Rise.

"Ooh, I guess I shouldn't keep him waiting, then.." You purred back with a little wink, moving around him to get into the passenger side.

Tom snickered some, getting into the drivers side.

You bet there would be quite a bit of steamy love after packing.

#tom Hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom Hiddleston x you #fanfiction #wattpad #steamy love

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dearmomimissyou · 4 years ago

Text

So yesterday I tried to make a post explaining the back story of what caused Sunday's mental breakdown to happen and I tried to save it to drafts after spending 30 minutes on it while walking Miss Phyre outside but Tumblr decided to cock out and didn't actually save it which led to another mini meltdown afterwards so I'm just going to skip the background. It hurts to mich to relive it a g a i n. So thanks Tumblr.

Sunday I went to Sam's house after donating plasma cause dad was working on the electrical and I figured I'd just spend time there instead of being home. Instead, I ended up having a breakdown on Sam's back porch. I started crying inside while in the fetal position on the floor and figured that I should go outside so nobody heard me. I violently sobbed for at least ten minutes and dug my nails into my arm because I wanted to punish myself. I also went outside because I wanted to destroy Sam's living room and I can't do that but I can destroy myself and my things. I kept wanting to smash my head into something and eventually I did on the banister twice and screamed both times when I did it. After some time like five minutes of so Nemo came out and tried talking to me and I blew up on them and basically blamed them even though it wasn't their fault. They were crying and begging me to get help dad came out too crying because he heard me say that somebody was tearing me down and making feel like shit about myself but he didn't hear who and at the time it didn't make me feel anything but looking back fucking hurts. Sam came out too after Nemo went inside I think to talk to dad about what was happening and she brought Nala Tyler's cat and asked if I wanted cookies or soda to feel better. I just remember ignoring her and being so annoyed with her in the moment.

Eventually I got to the point where I couldn't physically talk and typed a message to Nemo:

I want to me normal I WA. T to be fixed and go just can't cause miss Phyre needs attention and the dress fitting and I don't want to worry mom and tge family but fucking here I dpimg just that all the God dam. Duckknf time vsvauar I can't fucking control my stupid fucking brain

They asked if I wanted to go to the lds hospital crisis center or if I wanted to wait til tomorrow:

I have to go today cause if I don't there be an excuse tomorrow like I feel better it always happens

So they drove me home so I could get some clothes and stuff to bring to be admitted into inpatient. The whole time I was getting stuff I cried and kissed miss Phyre and told her over and over how much I love her and that I'll be back I'm not abandoning her.

So we get up to the access center thing and because of covid Nemo has to leave but I get taken back pretty fast for the physical part and asking the standard health questions. They also take my stuff including my phone and the pieces of paper that I wrote down all my problems on and a brief breakdown of my childhood traumas. I sit in a pretty okay chair for what feels like an hour. I cry a bit but nothing too noticeable when I finally got back to see the crisis counselor she basically said I'm very knowledgeable about my mental illnesses and told me that she'd let their therapy coordinator know to give me a call on Tuesday and also gave me her business card so I could call too and said as long as I'm not a danger to myself I can go home. In that moment I wasn't in danger of hurting myself more and I did want to go home instead of being admitted so I could take care of Miss Phyre but this was the second time a crisis counselor told me I wasn't in enough danger to be admitted like? Excuse me? Sorry my fucking emotions turn on a fucking dime but I absolutely need professional fucking help please?

She led me back to my chair to wait for the psychiatrist or whatever and that time I didn't have to wait as long. I got a turkey sandwich box thingy that came with a fruit cup chips and a string cheese as well as mustard and mayo in packets to put on it and tomatoes and Lettuce on the side so you can add them if you want them. I only had time to eat the fruit cup and started spreading the mayo on my sandwich before the psychiatrist came to me and we talked and he said the same thing as the counselor thag I'm very insightful about my failings and then put me on welbutrin instead of Lexapro and said I'm good to go home. I went back to the chair finished making the sandwich and then ate it while filling out their crisis sheet thingy that's like when I'm in a bad place who can I go to type shit. I still had to wait to actually be discharged so J ate the string cheese too. I finally left and had to wait another thirtyish minutes for Nemo to come pick me up.

What the scratches looked like right after being discharged. We went back to Sam's house because dad was still doing the electrical and we stayed there for another hour or two before going home. Don't remember much after the discharge honestly.

Monday was labor day and we went shopping I got my pills and stuff from Smiths. Then we went back home to wait for mom and Karleigh to get up so we could go to Joanne's tk make a playyard thing for aidrian and the dollar store for other stuff I don't remember. Then we went to the grocery store to get pita bread for dinner and something else I forgot but we ended up shopping and spent like 200 dollars. We also went to Lowes to get more pvc pipe for the playyard because dad apparently didn't get enough the first time. We ate dinner with Dave which was tikki masala and it was pretty dang good. Also before we got my pills I walked Miss Phyre for a while outside and she loved it. I decided to give her a bath afterwards since she doesn't wash herself and she was oaky the entire time she didn't meow or hiss or anything. She tried to climb out of the tub but not like in an aggressive manner like she didn't want anything to do with the water. She was such a good girl.

When Dave left we started working in the playyard. We wrapped some pink tulle on the sides and tied it to the pvc with some thin yarn. It took us hours to do and it was just mom Karleigh and me because dad went to bed. It was grueling work because my body was already exhausted from shopping all day and I had to hold my arms above my head for extended periods of time. My heels were in excruciating pain but we finally finished half of the playyard at about 1230 only to find out the other tulle we bought was the wrong stuff. It was too small to have it folded over to keep the sides secure and wasn't long enough to reach both ends of the other tulle so we had to give up for the night which actually pissed me off more than finishing it would have probably. I ended up only going to sleep at 5 am and waking up at about 9 on Tuesday but it was a nice cool day so I took Miss Phyre out for another walk and while we walked I typed up the previous Tumblr post. When I was ready to go inside and take a break from reliving the shit that happened I saved it to drafts so I could finish it later and brought Miss Phyre inside. Then I realized that it didn't actually save it and I had another breakdown but not nearly as intense as Sunday. It didn't help that the therapy coordinator never actually called me. I got a call from a bit for Intermountain that asked a bunch of questions like do I understand my discharge orders am I feeling safe did I get medication and do I understand how to take the medication and I had to hit 1 for yes 2 for no and 3 for unsure and one of the questions was like am I still feeling like I'm in a crisis or something and I had to hit 1 three times because it just wouldn't register it and that pissed me off and made me mad that it was automated and they didn't even bother to have areal human call and talk to me. After every question I answered basically they said were sorry to hear that well have a nurse follow up with you later today. I ignored both calls from the nurse because I just didn't have the energy to deal with it after the Tumblr thing. Like I wasted so much energy just typing it out and what little I had left just instantly sapped after I realized it was gone. The second voicemail the nurse left mentioned that it would be the last time trying to get into contact with me but also that our insurance has mental health advocates so thats something I need to look into.

Eventually Cavell told my dad that I needed to be watched I guess and since dad was still at work and mom had just left to take aidrian back home mandi came downstairs and spent time with me. Cavell told my sad that I needed to eat so he texted mandi to make sure I ate something and we went upstairs and made pizza and waited for dad to come home. After that we had to wait for mom and Karleigh to get back so we could go back to Joanne's to get the right tulle and while we were there I bought some double pointed needles so I could make some wrist warmers to hide the scratches. I also wrapped them up which just made it seem way more serious than it was since they were too close for bandaids to work right I had to use gauze and ace wrap.

We thankfully didn't finish the playyard yesterday we're supposed to some time today but hopefully I'll be asleep before then.

I also left the access center a review since they only had two. One one star review that was basically my experience and one five star with no description from an account that only gives 5 star reviews and seems like a bot.

Nemo wanted me to call the center for evidence based treatment last night because Google said they closed at 7 but when I called they closed at 5 so I called today instrad and nobody answered so I filled out their online form and I just got the response email from them so I'm going to hopefully get better soon I guess.

Love you always.

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